#so no matter what happens I'm not alone in any way shape or form

[very-uncorrect]

I'm gonna die one day oh my god holy shit fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck there's no afterlife oh holy shit fuck help oh my god no no no no no

[luneariaa]

ᯓ★٠ ࣪⭑ "WERE YOU ASLEEP?" ✧ KENJI S.

✰ — mentions of you having some troubled thoughts during the night, implications of self-doubt(?), momentary phone calls, sweet and comforting kenji, pretty much self-indulgent.

. dividers by @/cafekitsune 🌙!!

IT WAS late at night, and yet, your mind itself refused to let you rest, preventing you from getting your own desired slumber. Your sole figure could be seen standing just by the balustrades of the balcony— breathing in the twilight air contentedly despite your turbulent mind.

These thoughts get too much sometimes, allowing yourself to at least try and loosen yourself up for the night— attempting to soothe any present aches and other unneeded distractions, especially from deep within.

You just wished that you'd never end up acting on them— hopefully not. Bad days are normal, so to speak. They'll pass, and eventually, everything will be better again. There's always light at the end of the tunnel, after all, so you keep holding on to that no matter how hard it may get at times.

The will to live is still reasonably strong, even when life itself isn't so kind to you. It gets exhausting, but you'll be there even with tons of struggle that you have to endure in the process.

Taking the phone out of your pocket, you glanced down at the clock, which shows it's exactly at two. Your sleeping schedule is unavoidably messed up, and you knew that you'd probably get an earful of scolding later on.

Breathing out ever so slowly, your fingers almost too subconsciously made their way to your contacts folder— which isn't that much, and ultimately pressed on one of the displayed names.

KEN.

Should I call him, or not?

After a fair minute or two of mentally debating whether to make a call to him, despite it being quite late at night— you did it, in the end. You just needed to talk to him for some unexplainable reasons, even when you don't really have any specific topics to talk about this late.

The phone didn't even need to ring twice when it was being picked up immediately, much to your surprise. Like, at this hour too?

"Hey— that was quick."

"Hey too," he chuckled facetiously over your words, maintaining his push-up position but on one hand. "Wouldn't want to miss a call from my favorite lady ever— and you're lucky I wasn't even asleep yet."

This piqued your interest. "What were you even doing?"

"Just doing some workout. Y'know, the usual." Ah, of course, he would. Even if Kenji already has those toned, healthy physique, he will always try to keep his body in a perfect shape.

"At a time like this? Gosh, you're questionable sometimes." A faint mirth could be heard on both sides of the phone call; sharing a laugh with one another.

"But anyway—" Kenji grabbed the towel nearby and wiped the sweat off his face, still maintaining his hold on the phone. "What's up? Couldn't sleep, hm?"

"Kinda. Got distracted, as usual." You couldn't contain the smile from forming upon your face, already feeling some of your worries gradually alleviated just from hearing his voice alone. "Glad that you aren't asleep yet too."

Kenji grins through the phone, even when you aren't there to witness it— eventually taking a seat on the nearby chair to rest for a while.

"Yeah."

"But seriously, are you alright?" His tone turns a tad bit more apprehensive, just in case since it's a pretty late hour too.

"I am, don't worry."

"It's just that— my thoughts are being quite a bother for some reason. But yeah, it's probably because well, it's late past midnight."

He nodded for a bit from the other side, seemingly understanding of your situation as it happens to him sometimes too.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

His simple offer made you think for a few seconds there, not knowing how to reply to him just yet.

"Well.."

"It's just something like— I don't know. Out of all people, you're the only one who stayed the most by my side. I'm so grateful for it, and sometimes, I still can't get used to it for some reason."

"You're too good for me."

He sighs softly, leaning his back slightly against the chair. "Hey, c'mon, don't say that. I did all of this because you genuinely deserved it."

"You deserve nothing less, trust me."

Even when he's unable to catch any glimpse of it, you grin so broadly, feeling touched by his words all over. You're quite the lucky one since it's not really a side he shows to anyone that often, and it radiates warmth; endearing, even.

"You're always the sweetest."

"And so are you, sweetheart."

He asserts tenderly, "That's the least I could do for you. You deserve only the best, and I mean it."

"I'm just glad that you decided to call me, even at this ungodly hour. Even if I'm asleep, just know that I will always try my best to answer."

"I know." You chuckled briefly, before pausing for a bit, contemplating over your next words.

"It's kind of a mess, I just—" Your previous smile drops without a warning, trying your best to remain composed, not wanting to have a sudden mental breakdown on a call with him like this. Why do the emotions have to rush through you like this?

With a quick clear of your throat, you added further. "It makes me confused sometimes, and I just.. Don't know on what to do."

He could notice the hint of shakiness within your voice alone; expression softening ever so slightly yet noticeable— not to anyone but to himself— seemed to understand the internal struggle you're possibly going through at the moment.

"And that's alright. It happens to each of us at times. It's bound to happen in one way or another." Kenji admittedly wasn't really good at giving advice and stuff, but he's willing to try his best to do so, because it's you.

"You don't have to rush things; the world can wait. Sometimes, it's best to let them be, and know that not everything is in our control."

"It's not your fault, if that's what you're wondering."

"I may not get it fully as to what you're thinking and going through right now, but please, remember that you're not alone. You have me."

You allow each of his words to sink in within your mind, making sure to process everything in, and let the deep realization hit you after. You're aware that he's just trying to help you— which you fully appreciated on, and even when it's quite hard to act based on someone's advice at times, you cherish his efforts.

Because no one really did that for you. No one was willing to go that far for you, yet here he is— willing to break through your walls no matter how long it takes and how you've set it up. Taking it slow, he still respected your boundaries despite everything, yet never once gave up on your well-being.

Before you could even give out your own response, his voice came through the phone once more.

"You know what— gimme a few minutes. I'll be there."

Your eyes widened in utter disbelief, like at an ungodly hour like this-?

"Ken, you don't have to do that, it's pretty late."

Despite your attempts of trying to reason with him, it merely falls on deaf ears; rolling his eyes without you knowing. "And you think that's gonna stop me, sweetheart?"

"I'm not gonna let you miss your needed sleep because of your thoughts and inner struggle, okay? And that's final."

Leaving no room for any arguments, he added a few words as his last statement. "I'll be there in a few minutes. Don't fall asleep just yet, love."

You have no choice, but to simply follow along and concede with him, feeling appreciated deep down; unable to suppress the feeling of warmth and solace from resurfacing within you.

@luneariaa. do not repost; reblogs are welcomed. all rights reserved.

[mochinomnoms]

My thoughts, warning for NSFW if you’re in public and some poly octotrio goodness—

When not deep fried, octopus seems so squishy and gooey. The tentacles have to be ticklish, like touching the bottom of your feet.

Squirmy, squirmy Azul.

What I mean to say, is because Azul likes you so much, lightly grasping at one of his tentacles has him flushing and twitching in your grasp. He tried to hide it in public, hoping no one notices his beet red face. He’s burying his neck into your shoulder, half-heartedly whining about his “reputation”. Give his tentacle a squeeze and your octopus will disappear under the ocean, a drawn out moan washed out by the water.

Depending on their mood, the eels may help Azul out. That means targeting you in your weak spots, till your flustered twitches make you let go of Azul. Not that you mind.

A lot of the times, they won’t help Azul. They’ll hoist the shy Octomer out of the water, cooing at his warbled and moany state.

Push too far and Azul will use his tentacles against you, coiling around you and pulling you in so he can have his way with you.

— anon who wants to inject your writing into their veins

(gonna call you veins anon, and ty bb I'm glad to provide your regular dosage)

Azul is so so soooo shy in his merform. Azul does actually enjoy PDA, he loves showing you off and subtly bragging that he was one of the partners you chose. But getting to that point takes a hot moment, not even considering his rapid personality change in his merform. He's still trying to convince himself that you love and care for him no matter his form, but old habits die very hard. So it's up to you to press the sweetest, most tooth-rotting kisses to him and his 8 limbs.

It doesn't help that his tentacles are very sensitive to any simulation, so much information is gained from just his suckers alone! Azul is soooo whining about his “reputation” as he turned a deeper shade of purple at your antics. If you happen to grab at the most sensitive arm and focus on the spade-shaped tip, he'll be a cute moaning mess as he tries to sink further into the water. The twins are no help to at all either, which comes as no surprise. They're curling their tails around his arms, webbed hands caressing Azul's skin, and claws ghosting around his hips. Jade's cooing sweet, teasing words into his ears, encouraging Azul to be louder, to praise you for your good work. Floyd's busying himself with sucking hickies into his neck, giggling at Azul's high-pitched moans. If anyone were to pass by the hidden grotto the four of you took refuge in, they'd hear the cutest whimpers and gasps alongside haughty murmurs and giggles.

He does eventually strike back, his arms are made entirely made of muscle, and he is a couple feet bigger than the eels and quite a few feet bigger than you. Azul's got a tight grip around your waist after you took his spade-tip into your mouth and sucked. Now he's taken to using his tentacles to my you moan and cry out, nudging the twins to “help” him out. After all, he has venom in his bite, so he can't truly mark you up on his own. Come on now, Jade, Floyd? You left him with such a pretty flush and marks, do the same for our darling human~

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Cod Characters General Dating Headcanons (part two)

+ Random and Some bits of Chubby Fem S/O Headcanons with mentions of different nationality S/O

+ What type of BF/GF they would be

Including Valeria Garza, Farah Karim, Kate Laswell, Alex Keller, Gary "Roach" Sanderson, Nikolai Belinski

+ Some Poly! Farah x Reader x Alex Headcanons

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Fem terms and pronouns like she/her are used for the reader

ꕥ HOPE YOU ENJOY! ꕥ

My rules for requests and characters I can write for

Please comment if you want to be added to the taglist, the next part or cod content alone. I also have content for TLOU and Resident Evil, so please specify.

Taglist: @marshmallowinamess

A/n: Hi lovelies! It's me again Lia, currently working on this one while I haven't even posted the other yet because I wanna post early and I love Valeria. Y'all don't got shit on me, I'm writing this shit while I'm in class AHAHAHA. Btw more Resident Evil content soon...

Disclaimers/warnings: Typical Cod things, OOC characters???, Unrealistic, Some suggestive themes and language, I'm so sorry but English is not my first language so please don't come after me. Most of the content I've seen are on TikTok and Tumblr I don't actually play the game but I love the characters so much, same with any other content I have for other video games.

Tiny sidenote: the reader in this has been describe to be shorter than the characters and has been mentioned to have a soft body rather than the muscular type.

Valeria Garza

ꕥ (Just saying, I'd let her step all over me)

ꕥ The El Sinombre falling in love? No shit she's... semi-normal??

ꕥ Black cat/Doberman girlfriend for sure. She's extremely protective and extremely terrifying when she wants to be. Scary dog privilege if you get it. (Occasionally it's funny to imagine her as a Chihuahua)

ꕥ Dates all kinds of women, body type and other things don't matter to her because she doesn't have a type. If you catch her attention then that's that.

ꕥ Loves spoiling you in everyway possible, just sit pretty for her and she'll take care of everything. Doesn't give a shit on the amount of money she spends on you, you want it? You got it.

ꕥ Loves it when you need her, it's one of the ways she feels loved and appreciated. Would never say it out loud but loves it whenever you show her your appreciation by doing manual labor.

ꕥ The idea of you being her pretty little housewife is sending her to heaven.

ꕥ Spanish pet names galore, culture is something of importance to her so will definitely teach you Spanish if she had the time.

ꕥ Would be interested learning about your culture as well because if you're gonna know about hers then she ought to know what to call you in your language. (Definitely not self-indulgent because I'm Filipina and I know she'd pronounce it somewhat correctly)

ꕥ Doesn't ever let you know about her cartel business. You can never know and she will never allow you to get ever get involved. You're too precious to her and god forbid anything will happen to you, she will destroy the world if she had to.

ꕥ She's more of a masc lesbian, she's the type who likes to be in charge in a "I'm the one who wears the pants in the relationship" way. She's very dominant.

ꕥ Doesn't ever even consider to be submissive, with the amount of shit she's been through. She can be vulnerable with you but in no way, shape or form could you ever top.

ꕥ You're an escape from the life she knew, it was peaceful with you. At first she wasn't used to it, definitely has reoccurring thoughts of something going wrong. You dying, getting kidnapped, falling into the hands of her enemies so constant reassurance.

ꕥ Would absolutely kill for you, no hesitation. The literally definitely of "I would burn this world for you", would absolutely deny it but you know otherwise.

Farah Karim

ꕥ Tabby cat coded girlfriend, she's down to earth and chill. She's that one neutral person everyone adores, she puts her best efforts into a relationship for sure.

ꕥ Has and will help you do your make-up all the time, doesn't matter whether you asked. She'll observe the specific way you do it and do it perfectly.

ꕥ Sweetest girlfriend ever, she has dominance tendencies but it's mainly because she's quite assertive and often makes the decisions. Can't help it, after all her field of work requires her to one up egotistic men.

ꕥ That being said, I think she's had some mild PTSD about how they treated her. Sure it made her tough and she didn't like to be bossed around (unlike angry Mexican man) but I like to think she keeps you out of it as much as possible.

ꕥ Chubby!Reader headcanon is that she literally would adore you, compliment anything and everything. Insecure? Not on her watch, she just makes you feel so loved.

ꕥ Most definitely has introduced you to Price (I feel like he's everyone's father figure except los vaqueros and characters he hasn't interacted with) and don't worry he's already looking after you as well.

ꕥ Poly! Farah x reader x Alex headcanons:

ꕥ You guys following whatever Farah says, towards relationship decisions anyway because you and Alex tend to be indecisive.

ꕥ Lot's of communication between the three of you even if it's just a small thing, consent is always key.

ꕥ Alex following his two wives around a lot, he's mostly behind you guys all the time.

ꕥ Farah is patient when it comes to a lot of things but especially you and Alex.

ꕥ You get head pats from both of them, Farah is in a more praising manner while Alex tends to be in a comforting manner.

ꕥ You cannot tell me these two won't be down to cuddle in any position because I know damn well they would be. More often it's just Alex wanting to be a little spoon.

Alex Keller

ꕥ Golden Retriever boyfriend FOR REAL. This man is the type of man to kneel down and clasp the strap of your shoe or heel when he notices it.

ꕥ You know when you pick up something near a corner of a table or underneath it? He's the type of boyfriend to subconsciously cover the edge or corner of that table so that if your head bumps into it then it wouldn't be as painful or even at all.

ꕥ Having said the first one, he also guides your head whenever getting into a vehicle because god forbid you actually hurt yourself. Not on his watch.

ꕥ Understands why you're insecure and definitely offers a lot of verbal reassurance.

ꕥ Is the type of boyfriend to say "Yes Ma'am" when you ask him to do something, doesn't matter whether it's a small thing or labor intensive. It's kinda become your guys' thing now since people take notice on it.

ꕥ Pouty kind of jealous? Not necessarily whiny but makes this sad upset face at you when jealous instead of something like Ghost or Valeria would do where they'd be glaring the person down jealous.

ꕥ Very thoughtful, he pays attention to what you want and what you need and knows the right timing.

ꕥ Forehead kiss giver, you cannot convince me this man doesn't love doing it. Especially when you're shorter than him, loves resting his chin on top of your head or burying his head in your neck.

ꕥ HATES seeing you uncomfortable, absolutely despises it. That's the last thing he wants you to feel when you're around him. Would understand if there's imminent danger around but it would literally being him back to life if you felt safe enough around him even if there was danger because you're confident in his capabilities to keep you safe.

Kate Laswell

ꕥ (LOVE THIS WOMAN, SHE'S FOR THE GIRLS BECAUSE IT'S CANON. ARGUE WITH THE WALL)

ꕥ She only ever let the TF141 and Nikolai meet you because of course she trusts them enough.

ꕥ They were like "So you're the infamous wife of Laswell huh?"

ꕥ Even before you were married, Kate called you her wife because she was ✨manifesting✨.

ꕥ She loves using it though, sometimes she'd be with coworkers and they'd invited her to go out to pub and drink but she'll refuse saying "Can't, my wife is waiting for me". She'd really rather just spend time with you anyway.

ꕥ Congrats, you made her quit smoking or at least she's trying to. She still does every once and a while when shit gets really bad but never around you because she knows that secondhand smoke is just as bad for you.

ꕥ She doesn't have a type when it comes to people so body is out of the question, if she feels a connection then she feels it.

ꕥ Anything and everything to keep you safe, if something were to happen to you, trust that she'll either get it down herself or if she can't then she'll turn to Price and Belinski for help.

ꕥ As much as possible, she keeps you away from everything. The job she has is just too dangerous and she can't risk you, not when you're one of the only good things in her life that keeps her happy.

ꕥ Definitely a workaholic, something as simple as asking her to eat or rest, maybe take a break. She'll do it, for you and because she knows you care for her.

ꕥ Doesn't half-ass anything, full effort when it comes to you especially when there's a special occasion between you two like holidays, birthdays and anniversaries.

ꕥ Also she loves making you laugh, more often with stories of her experiences with Price and also about how they met.

Gary "Roach" Sanderson

ꕥ (I CANNOT FIND A DECENT GIF OF THIS MAN FOR THE LIFE OF ME... Here's the credits to where I found the photo)

ꕥ Get this man a makeshift antenna, he would adore it. You made it for him because of his call sign.

ꕥ He sometimes wears it on missions but mostly keeps it so that it doesn't get damage because this man is definitely a horder, not in a bad way just anything you give to him is something worth keeping in his eyes.

ꕥ Gary definitely gives you handmade gifts back, when he knows you'll like something or even if it's at a random, he loves making them for you and he cried when he found out you kept those all in it's own box labeling it your treasures.

ꕥ Very shy and reluctant at first but once he's comfortable, he is tackling you for a hug when he gets the chance.

ꕥ Doesn't talk a lot, (it took me to Google when I saw that many people hc him communicating through BSL) but I like to think he does talk. It's just really selective, like a few words.

ꕥ The first time you heard his voice, you looked at him like "???". He looked at you confused at your reaction and he only realized it when you told him.

ꕥ Think that he'll try to learn sign language within your mother tongue you know, it's too cute not to think about.

ꕥ He gives off soft lover vibes, definitely far more on the gentle side compared to his comrades.

ꕥ Something in me tells me this man rambles but only and I mean only when he's already extremely comfortable around you, not used to using his voice much so expect a bit of stutter. Which by the way, he does this without knowing he's rambling and will profusely apologize with his tone of voice slowly getting more quiet. (This is your sign, comfort this man)

ꕥ Likes to crawl around and climb things for fun, another one of the reasons his call sign was formed. The first time Ghost genuinely screamed was when Roach was stuck on the side of the wall and Ghost saw him there. Kinda like when you see a roach climbing up a wall and it flies straight for you in your direction. (Happened to me by experience when I was taking a shower)

ꕥ He also likes crawling around, like this I mean. Hacker!Reader seeing this on the enemy's security camera while she tries to shut them off is just funny to me idk why.

ꕥ Chubby!Reader? Sign him the fuck up. You once sat down near him and he saw how you thought spread a bit and it was so close to his that he was just resisting the urge to touch. The voice in his head shamelessly thinking of what it would be like if you suffocated him with them.

ꕥ He loves peppering kisses, doesn't matter whether it's receiving or giving this man would straight up take your hands and use them to cup his face, his hands still being over yours and would with wait for you to kiss him or kiss you himself.

Nikolai Belinski

ꕥ (I have no clue how to write for nik but I'll try my best)

ꕥ We all know him and his jokes about his "wives" which by the way is not true and you know it.

ꕥ He's husband material however he is quite busy, not that he'd barely spend time with you but he is away a lot. There's an upside to this, he constantly calls you (Let's be real, he prefers calls over texts) just to check on how you're doing and he tells you when he's going to come home.

ꕥ Despite all his jokes, he'd never actually make fun of you. Sure he's sarcastic and talks to himself a lot but he'd never go as low as actually making an offensive joke to his lover.

ꕥ Speaking of joking, your laugh is music to this man's ears. Don't matter if you sound like a dying cat, he's still gonna make you laugh.

ꕥ Surprisingly really sweet, people are often surprised to see that man with a lover. He's very thoughtful in a sense that he's observant, sure he's quite absentminded when around you because that's the only space he's comfortable enough to do so but also because he likes listening to you.

ꕥ Does every safety measure in a helicopter possible if he knew you or Gaz would be in that helicopter, he also makes improvements to it and calls it Gaz-proofing because we all know how Garrick fell off a damn helicopter TWICE. (Idk how he does it, Gaz has some serious plot armor)

[sailor-aviator]

Hey.

Go ahead and get settled because this will be...long, in true Liz fashion.

So, by now I'm sure most of you have heard what's happened. If not, you can search this blog for some answers or others for more.

I joined this fandom offiicially at the end of September after being a long time lurker. I had just lost my job and times were uncertain for me. I felt inspired to write, and as someone whose formative years were shaped by the fandom experience, I wanted to feel that sense of belonging again - to feel like a part of a community. I've talked about it on here before, but I started my fandom days in the original Hunger Games fandom when the first movie had just come out, and then I shifted gears towards the SuperWhoLock fandom. If you know anything about SuperWhoLock, then you know you had to have pretty tough fucking skin to be a part of any of it.

Of course, this was back in the day when fandom was an actual community and not authors having to beg for scraps of engagement and people thinking its a numbers game. I was a fairly large blog within the SuperWhoLock community (Waywardly-Carrying-On was the username), but I left fandom for a few years because life got hectic and I felt like I had outgrown the fandom itself as I was no longer watching any of the shows. As the years went on, I started to yearn for the fandom experience again, which is how I found myself dipping toes into several different ones.

I was so excited to publish my first fanfic. I had convinced myself that I wasn't a good writer (much to the chagrin of my irl friends), and I had put a pause on writing my original story. I wanted to write this idea about a cowboy and a girl using characters that I had grown to love like I did way back in my older days. So, I started posting, and I was so excited for the story, that I kept posting almost daily. MamaMay was one of the first people to embrace not only my story, but me as a person into the fandom. She made me feel welcomed and wanted.

Pretty much right off the bat I was already getting anons telling me that I was being too much and that I needed to calm down with all the posting. I was confused because...this is Tumblr. It's literally a blogging website? Why wouldn't I post? I decided to ignore the mean words (not before giving my opinion, of course) and kept on doing my thing. Well, the anons got continually worse and worse. I had a suspiscion as to who the anons could be, but I never had concrete proof. So, I experimented with blocking suspects until finally it worked. I'm not naming names because that's not my style, so don't even bother asking.

The fact of the matter is, some of you have entered fandom spaces for the first time, and you don't know how to act. You don't care to learn fandom etiquette as you've made abundantly clear by calling fandom olds every name under the sun while utilizing the anonymous feature. Newsflash, you're part of the problem. You're the reason why authors don't want to publish anymore. You are the reason that something that's supposed to be fun is starting to feel like a goddamn chore.

How many times can authors on here say that we aren't machines? We have lives outside of this website: family, friends, jobs, school, etc. Some of you really are just hellbent on making everyone around you miserable, and it's sad. You can't just leave well enough alone and let people enjoy something, no you feel like everyone has to enjoy it the same way as you.

Some of you go after authors on here because of some weird sense of jealousy too. I don't know why my shit blew up, babe, I really don't. But I started out with no followers and no support just like everyone else. I'll tell you what helped me though: following fandom etiquette and reaching out to other creators to build an actual community. None of this "I've reblogged three of your things and now I'm messaging you so that you return the favor." No, I reached out to make actual friendships which is what fandom is SUPPOSED to be. If someone was clearly not interested, it was fine!! I backed off and kept doing my own thing.

Some of you think being mean on the internet makes you big and bad. Guess what! It doesn't! It's loser mentality and I feel genuinely sorry for you. I'm sorry that people in your own life made you feel so small as to feel like you had to lash out at strangers on the internet who are just trying to have fun.

Anyway, this is my really long way of saying that I am taking a break for a little bit. I have no idea how long it will be - could be the weekend, could be a couple of weeks, could be forever. I need time to decide if this is something I want to keep persuing. If I come back, I don't know if I will remain a TGM blog or if I'll shift gears and hop into another fandom with a rebrand. Guess we'll just have to see.

To the people on here who have been a constant source of joy, laughter, and support: thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Your presence has meant everything to me, and I hope that my break sees me wanting to come back and giggle about the silly plane movie with you all again.

Nothing but love,

Liz 💛

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

I've already brought this up in this post, but I absolutely believe Hu ended up telling David what her secret was and why it made her so uncomfortable (presumably because she more than likely has the hopeless child secret)

Hu: I have to be the one to give everyone guidance. That's the only thing I can do. If no one relies on me, then I won't be useful anymore. Hu: You knew how I felt, and yet you... You... Hu: You toyed with my heart!

Like, let's really analyze this dialogue for a second. Why would Hu say that David knew how she felt, why she acts the way she does, unless she told David herself? David is not a mind-reader, he can barely handle the things going on in his own mind. So the only way I can see David knowing about this is if Hu told him herself. Throughout all of Chapter 2, David is constantly pressuring others to tell their secrets. Especially in CH2-6. And that is made especially apparent with how he handles Nico's forced-coming out

David: I know this isn't the ideal time for me to do this, but... David: Nico, do you know what your secret is? Nico: [Sniff] Hu: He's clearly upset. Don't bother him with your questions. David: Part of me thinks that this conflict between Ace and Nico stems from the position of power Ace holds over Nico for keeping his secret. David: If that secret was exposed, then Ace would no longer have that edge over him. David: Nico, can you reveal your secret to everyone? Nico: W-What? Nico: I...I don't want to. David: I know it's difficult to reveal a secret that mortifies you, but aren't all of our secrets going to be revealed in 2 days anyway? I don't think it matters much if you do it now or later. Nico: ... David: Unless you're thinking that the secrets won't be revealed at all? Nico, don't tell me that you-- Nico: Okay, fine!!

David: So then, revealing your secret was a good thing, right? That way, you won't have to be misgendered anymore. Nico: ... Nico: I wasn't ready. David: This is definitely an improvement. It's good for everyone to be open with their secrets.

Nico: Hey I don't think I was in any way shape or form ready to have this part of my identity that I've been ostracized and bullied for for my entire life to not only be outed in front of my classmates but to what is presumably international TV David: K, so anyway :)

He even does this specifically to Hu later in this scene

David: Hu? Hu: I'm sorry, but my secret is something that makes me uncomfortable. David: Even though it will be revealed by MonoTV anyway? Hu: Perhaps it's not an admirable thing to do, but I'd rather put it off for as long as possible. I apologize.

I also have no doubt that David and Hu had some time alone. Teruko left the Relaxation Room, and considering the fact that Nico was planning a murder and also...is reasonably pissed at David

Nico: But David is really suspicious. He's always been really pushy on getting people to reveal their secrets. Nico: And he can do that only because he revealed his own secret first. That way, he doesn't look like a hypocrite. Nico: But if he lied about his secret, then he can just pretend he's in the right. And then other people will follow his lead because it's "good" to share secrets. Nico: And, um, I'm not just saying this because I'm mad at David. Really.

(they say after basically recounting word-for-word what happened to them)

I don't doubt they would've left at some point soon after Teruko given their personality.

Which would leave David and Hu alone to have a conversation about her secret, to which Hu would most likely fall victim to the same pressure Nico did, and reveal what secret she got.

You only took on your talent to distract form your incessant need to harm yourself for fun.

I bring up this frame in particular, by the way, because I find the difference in how she talks about not sharing her secret very interesting. In the Relaxation Room scene, she describes the act of not sharing her secret as "not an admirable thing to do". Here, she straight up calls it "selfish". It's almost as if someone implanted that seed in her brain to pressure her, wonder who that could be.

Along with this, she would also probably explain why she felt so uncomfortable sharing her secret as that was also something David tried pressuring her to explain, which would lead to her talking about her experiences and reasoning for why she is the way she is, which as we have commonly theorized, is most likely in line with the secret Veronika received

You were quite the hopeless child. Dying once wasn't enough, so you attempted suicide three times.

Which David would put together based on the secret appearing on the board. And that's why he taunts her over it.

David: And in spite of how easily you'll spill other secrets for the sake of "peace," you're still too much of a coward to admit your own. Hu: I...that's not what... David: What's wrong, "Julia"? Go ahead and share your secret. It can't be *that* bad, can it? Or is it worse than mine? Worse than Nico's? David: Or could it be that you're actually not as noble and strong of a person as you make yourself out to be?

He is the only person in the room who not only knows what secret Hu received, but knows why she won't say it out loud. He knows her secret and he is hanging it over her fucking head like a carrot. He knows how she feels, and even still, he toyed with her heart.

[shineonyoucrazyyandere]

One thing I love to day dream about is the yandere and their darling doing beauty treatment 💕 In my case it's Kakyoin. He is definitely the type of boy really care about beauty stuff like having a skincare routine or doing his hair in perfect curve shape. He is expert in this field although he is a boy (completely opposite me, I don't know how to do it although I'm a girl 😭)

I'm sure he will this advantages to be touchy with darling. Here, let he help you putting on the face mask. This nail color is suit you, let he pain it for you. You need help with your hairstyle, don't worry, he is a pro.

I believe he use lip balm cherry flavor too. And when darling joking ask him does it taste good, he will immediately kiss them and pretend nothing wrong with that action "What, you ask about how it taste so I just let you taste it."

Kakyoin is certainly the most thorough when it comes to beauty/haircare/skincare. Of course if he’s going to find a way to slip you into doing something with him no matter how small. Just the slightest extra amount of time alone with the redhead has him thrilled. Why don’t you try a little face mask? They’re not difficult to deal with in the slightest.

He’ll fixate on anything you seem to fancy yourself towards, that’s his primary objective firstly. Just your hair? Perfect, let him brush/comb, or even trim/cut it (it doesn’t make a difference how short or how long it is) He’ll even manage to get you a nice scent of shampoo/conditioner to use. It just happens to be something that he loves on you fragrance wise, but he keeps this to himself.

No make up or a make up every day kind of person doesn’t matter to Kakyoin, he always seems to come up with something to keep you around him longer. Little things that any person should keep up with. Helping with lotion to keep skin from drying out (or sunscreen). The way he does anything with you feels rather nice, gentle even. His heart is practically drumming out of his chest every time he touches you. Yet there’s a firm, focused face, seemingly concentrated on your form no matter the area.

Every little thing Kakyoin does well from painting nails to even simply massaging your scalp, he has the slightest hope to keep coming you coming back. If not he’ll keep coaxing you back, and making the experience pleasant as possible. Let’s not mention if things go south and you run off, that he wouldn’t eventually tie you down acting like nothing happened before proceeding with your usual routine. Even fawning over you right there as if he isn’t terrifying you right there and then.

Somehow he might figure out your favorite color of nail polish, he gets real particular with anything you do to take care of yourself honestly. (He won’t forget a single step no matter how complex either)

As for his own routine of going a little more into things most men don’t usually incline themselves to. He sees it as a good thing to go the extra effort of grooming to keep a presentable appearance. Honestly he didn’t care about any outside opinions on how he takes care of himself anyway, the insults slide right off of him. He won’t judge you either for not really wearing make up (why would he? That would be ridiculous)

If anyone trashes your appearance however, he’s going to make sure they’re taken care of personally with hierophant green.

Now if you compliment him that’s a completely different story, he’s ecstatic. Practically sealing your fate, as he’ll coast off your cute compliments for years to come.

+ Bonus

When out shopping, he doesn’t really mind. He’d likely be the first to volunteer (practically no one else is able with how quick Kakyoin is). Offers to buy something nice to try if you hadn’t done it before, (or just need more).

[zangtang]

Everything can change at any point!

Create images here: https://www.bing.com/images/create?FORM=GENILP before i say anything else though: not following someone else's prompts means you'll likely find some wild and unexpected things yourself. If you follow my prompts like they're laws, you will only ever get results like mine. There are people doing much cooler, weirder things. Don't get restricted by this.

the site was VERY BROKEN for the last 6 days, you haven't been banned. You get 15 boosts a day which usually override any current downtime, but the popup thinks you get 25 a week, which is an indicator of how busted and poorly planned they were for this flood of users. It's not too hard to create illegal results, and there's millions of users, so it's very unlikely a human is ever looking at your results. Unless you're doing really spectacularly terrible things, of course. If you get the warning as soon as you enter your prompt, change the most controversial aspects of your prompt immediately, as repeats of this will get you suspended for increasingly long times. It is possible to make alt accounts with throwaway emails though. It's unconfirmed but it appears that US residents get priority access during US times, and UK residents can only reliably make things from 7am to 1pm for example. Weekend access is a crapshoot. I don't personally pay for ChatGPT so I can't say anything about the alleged priority access you get there, but even that can be slow and restricted during the worst times (I assume this will the their priority to fix though). There are many conflicting reports about whether it's more censored or not. Reports is a very fancy way of saying reddit comments.

Everything I superstitiously guess about prompts:

you can be very descriptive and write in natural english, or you can be very brief. both methods work, I suspect both versions do different things. repetition and restating the same thing in other ways also seems to emphasise (possibly.) Prompts can be quite chaotic and contradictory - you can describe a lot of things happening and it may surprise you, so have fun with weirdness! some words are "heavy" against the automated filters, and can be safe in one prompt and unsafe in another. think of it like buckaroo, the AI is trying to find meaning in your prompt and it will sometimes combine things and get mad about it. be aware of politics and words that may be used in erotic senses, and switch those up.

this is the format I use the most because i am super lazy and unimaginative. items in [ ] are optional and can be anything, and I don't know how the word order matters - in old Midjourney it mattered quite a bit according to guides, but now they're all pushing to parse natural english I'm not so sure:

[number of] [body type] [age] [nationality] [male noun or job] wearing [clothes], with a [size, shape] belly, [hair description], [pose], [location, time of day, weather, lighting, era], [facial expression or attitude], [actions]

The number of guys can be vague like "several." Also placing a number here will generally result in all men being fat. To add a second, very different person (even women! imagine the power), simply describe that in plain english later in the prompt. Try adding "with friends" or something and seeing what happens.

Mentioning body type is separate from mentioning that he has a large stomach because "fat man" alone doesn't make him very fat. also, the body type prompt will dictate his physical build underneath the belly - this allows you to make mpreg very easily, for example. Mentioning his belly separately also seems to be a key part in making clothes not cover it up. However, DallE has clearly gotten much better at this for some clothes, but not all of them. Formalwear is improving, though tactical vests no longer do the cute thing they used to do, and football shirts still ride up reliably. Nationality can be weird, and you can use it to exploit stereotypes, or it can be an eye-opening view of stereotypes from countries you barely know about - want to know what differentiates an Angolan man from a Kenyan man? Probably don't trust AI results! I suspect some countries are controversial due to current politics, and I suspect some are controversial due to fetishy stereotyping. However, if for example "English man" got censored, consider going for capital cities or famous regions, eg "London man." Maybe look up sports teams from that country. I'm a big fan of the "Italian-American" prompt but lately it's gotten quite a few results blocked, so I'd switch to "New Jersey," maybe even "New Jersey Italian."

"Handsome" may slim your results down, or even break the prompt entirely. Consider making your men footballers or rugby players, mention trendy haircuts, or using out of date synonyms to get round it. AI isn't all that likely to give you especially ugly results anyway, particularly if you specify ages under 40. It doesn't get the hair precisely right, but even a generic prompt like "short thick hair" can help. Giving your character a job may dictate what he'll wear, but you might want to specify what clothes you want anyway. Don't mention either if you hope he'll turn out naked. Certain jobs are tricky to use, as AI strains to be as unpolitical as possible - it doesn't want you doing politicians and it sometimes seems to refuse anything that might make the police or military look bad. However, it will accept "wearing a [colour] uniform/pilot shirt" very happily, because it's duuuuumb.

Mention trousers, footwear or even just feet if your results keep zooming in too much. (It'll also zoom in if you mention too much about his face, I think.) Side view appears to make certain prompts fatter, but will often mean he's looking away - you can add "Looking at camera" if you want that. Metallic and plastic clothes can have very fun and weird results, especially if you change the location to a night setting in the rain. Gladiator costumes will reduce his clothes to a few leather straps.

"Flex pose" and "strong pose" will get butch bodybuilder poses (it will also buff up the muscle mass) and "battling strong winds" gets very superhero poses. At least when I was trying these out, I found I couldn't actually get proper bodybuilder poses or mention of superheroes past the censor, but it's been a few weeks so who knows what it's up to now. Give them all a go!

Casual poses and actions can liven things up a little if you just want portraits but don't want it to repeatedly be the same thing facing you directly. Getting out of a car, climbing stairs, leaning against things, adjusting his clothes or putting on a coat, all these kinds of things work. Smoking or drinking does quite a lot. "Tired" or "Exhausted" changes his attitude a lot too, your leans get leaned into more.

Contact words can be a little difficult, so consider ways to exploit using soft contact, or be very wordy and detailed about it so it's not misinterpreting you. "Patting him on the back" is a fairly safe phrase, but DallE isn't intelligent, so it will allow the contact but it will struggle to be precise, especially when the bodies are fat or not positioned in a way they can reach the back - the result of this is that there will be a lot of belly pats. Prodding in the stomach, pointing at the stomach, these both work, but I think DallE is vague about stomach=torso and you may want "pointing at his belt" to give a lower focus. Admiring can direct attention and vibes, whispering will draw their heads closer and make them interact somewhat. Embracing and hugging work but is very heavy for the censor, "hugging on his shoulder/belly" seems safer for some reason. Shaking, grabbing, "examining/concerned about his belly" can work. Bizarrely, squeezing past another man in a narrow corridor/doorway/cupboard works if you want a LOT of contact. And if you want unpredictable contact, fighting can work.

For more dynamic safe contact, try sporting actions. Baseball slides, football tackles, that kind of thing. It's hard to get them to lie flat and the AI seems to resist allowing heads to touch the ground, but "lying in a hammock" works pretty well, and sometimes specifying what the head is touching works. pretty much every minor prompt variation and scenario I've ever used:

"falling onto a broken chair/breaking an object with his weight" "washing windows" "with waiters helping him up" "with friends bringing him food" "falling over another man" "outside of a skyscraper washing windows, harness for safety, hoisted" "hyper-obese man wearing denim dungarees with an enormous inflated belly, drinking from a hose" ("blowing into a hose" gets better expressions for that IMO) "stuck in a broken narrow red british phonebooth with another man, bursting out with his enormous belly, black trousers" "bent over eating at a pie eating contest wearing a dirty white tank top with an enormous round belly and his face hidden buried in messy pie" "sitting on a throne next to a very fat 35 year old spanish monarch" "lying on his back the floor, enjoying a banquet, side view, tired expression" "very fat 35 year old handsome british man wearing tracksuit and gold chain with a hugely distended beerbelly, man with a massive round stomach, washing his car in a carpark at night side view" "at water park, stuck in a water slide" "before and after weightloss picture, in the left he is X and in the right he is Y" "with a large round belly spilled over eating at a banquet with an enormous round belly, bronzed, with waiters helping him up/being prodded with a fork" "washing dishes and leaning over his belly on a freestanding enamel pedestal basin" "climbing and leaning against a stepladder to change a lightbulb on the ceiling [with friend holding the stepladder steady]" "side view, photo of two 40 year old beefy handsome fat italian-american rugby player with a hugely distended round belly, resting hand on his chest, wearing a tracksuit with a gigantic round sagging stomach, gold chain, raining, whispering in a car park at night, leaning/hugging on shoulder, tired, stern expression looking at camera, smoking a cigarette" "side view photo of two strong 40 year old handsome samoan rugby player with a hugely distended round beerbelly, chest hair, wearing a white formal shirt and black suit, hugging on his belly, proud expectant father, boyfriends outside a busy pub at night, stern, looking at camera, raining" "two fat los angeles rams handsome footballers wearing white pilot shirt and plain tie and black trousers pushing through a narrow saloon door with their enormously distended beerbellies, stern" "photo of very fat 30 year old hunk rugby player with enormously distended belly, carrying his belly in a wheelbarrow" "very fat 35 year old man wearing white pilot shirt with an enormous round belly, tough man with a very large beerbelly, too fat for small broken airplane seat sitting on another man, fat belly spilling over armrest and pressing against over man, black trousers, slightly concerned, suave" "being carried on the back of a flatbed truck" can turn them into horrific lardvalanches but you don't get much control over it

original characters do not steal prompts: "30 year old man who looks like he's the main character from the game Uncharted with an enormous distended round beerbelly, with one hand on a bar in a pub, nathan" This is sometimes surprisingly effective, but most often it'll simply draw vibes from the IP mentioned, so you can use it to get specific settings at least

Try spelling the names wrong or reversing the name order - sometimes it'll even accept names sprinkled throughout the prompt. Repeating the name may increase its effect (it might also not!) Also it's speculated that placing the celebrity fraud in a place or situation they would normally be found in helps. That said, I could only get a Robert Downey Jr if I made him dress as a gladiator. So maybe weirdness and ingenuity are your strengths. see also https://www.tumblr.com/baron-bear/731903035856584704/what-do-you-use-for-your-ai-stuff

[ghostgirl101]

how about a micheal myers dating headcannon list? i always thought he was pretty,,

Dating Michael Myers Would Be Like This:

A/N: The version of Michael Myers I'm writing for here is the younger, original 1978 Halloween, so if you want the older version or Rob Zombie's then feel free to request it (just no smut 🙃)

🔪• Michael Myers... it's hard to know where to start with this. You may have caught his attention as a potential victim, or even as an aspiring slasher, but whatever you did, you can't undo. You're The Shape's new obsession now, and it'll be almost impossible to not carry on being so.

🔪• He doesn't know what it is he's feeling at all; maybe it's the way you stared up at him expectantly, your fear mixed with something searching and curious as you waited for impact, but Michael couldn't make himself kill you. His head told him to do it, and do it now, but, for once, his own willpower won. Michael brushed past you instead, while you watched in surprise, his knife sticky with crimson as it swung slightly as he walked away.

🔪• It won't be the last you see of him, though. Whether you notice it or not, Myers is never too far away, watching you blankly from around the corner, inside a passing beige car, or in plain sight on the road opposite. It's unnerving, his dark eyes hidden and seemingly empty behind the mask as he observes ominously, but if you could get closer, you would see the confusion, annoyance with himself, and the fond calmness he gets just from being in your presence, in his hidden expression.

🔪• You have to sort of allow him into your life and home after a while of him following you around, subtly or obviously, depending on how he feels and what's happening. If Michael wanted you dead, you'd be dead, so him being nearby whenever you look behind you is a form of protection on his part, that, for whatever reason, he wants and needs to give you.

🔪• Simple things like cooking him food and patching him up after his kills mean a lot to him. I mean, the first few times, he'll be looming and making sure you're not poisoning it, or apprehensively staring at the things you're using to fix him up with and stop the blood. But little by little, Michael trusts you more, and gets a bit more relaxed. He still only eats when he's alone because he doesn't want you to see him unmasked (yet, we'll get to that later) but he'll hang around more when you're not in any danger, like watching tv or catching up on work. He's not particularly focused on that, more on you... he stares, a lot, obviously.

🔪• Being in a proper relationship with a lover is something that Michael Myers has never really come close to experiencing, so he has to be eased and gently guided into it. If he panics when things move a little too fast, he won't hurt you or anything, but he'll disappear for an hour or so, until he's in a better state to try again. It starts with small physical touches, sitting closer together, holding hands, and even managing to lean on him or hug him a little. It fazes him at first, and he freezes up but doesn't push you off. It just takes him a bit to mirror it, like letting a strong arm go around your shoulders as he awkwardly returns it. He gets better and more comfortable with it over time.

🔪• Michael is extremely protective, no matter who you are or what you do. He hates the thought of you being scared of him too... I mean, usually, it's a great rush of a feeling, when his victim runs off to get caught by him, with looks of horror on their faces. But it feels wrong with you. You're not his victim. You matter, and you're his. Simple as that, to him. So the stalking doesn't fully stop, since he likes knowing where you are and who you're with; not necessarily in an overly toxic way, more as in him not trusting anyone but you, and making sure you're as safe as you can be. When you're at home watching TV or something, then he'll feel confident enough in you to go off to his nightly activities, before he returns in the early hours of the morning and lets you coax him to sleep.

🔪• Michael Myers finds it almost impossible to sleep, and often time he gets nightmares. He's never slept as well and deeply as he does when you're beside him, or feeling your soft weight on him, grounding him in a way. He still gets nightmares every now and then, but in the dark, he can use the opportunity to cling to you instead, in a way that's a lot more vulnerable than usual. He'll act like it never happened when you get up for the day later on, though, and gets all flustered under his mask if you bring it up.

🔪• Sometimes, after his kills, he'll bring you back little trinkets, like jewellery Michael thinks you might like, or expensive-looking things. Either that or bloody teeth. You accept his more appropriate gifts with a thankful smile and a hug, though you can't wear it out much in case someone notices it. He also likes it when you wear his stuff, like the oversized black t-shirts he wears underneath the boiler suit. It makes Michael feel a lot more possessive.

🔪• Another thing is communication. You can tell what he wants by him just standing straight behind you for you to bump into him when you turn back, whether it's food or to go somewhere else or a hug. Sometimes he'll leave brief, one or two-worded notes around your home when he's gone to tell you to 'stay home' or 'sleep soon' with a small, wobbly heart hidden on the corner of the paper. But what's surprising is that, although he's selectively mute, a part of him wants to talk to you. It's difficult after being silent for so long, but every once in a while, he'll whisper a faded, odd compliment when you're in bed, alone together, to comfort you or answer a question. Unless he can't be bothered. Then Michael's back to doing things himself and just standing in the doorway like 🧍

🔪• Eventually, eventually, Michael feels confident enough to take off his mask with you - and only you - around to see. We saw how taken aback and uncomfortable he was in the movie when the mask was yanked off him, and although his expression usually is calm and stoic underneath, when it's bare, he hates how it's a lot easier to read his feelings. But it is you, so Michael doesn't mind as much. If you slowly reach up to touch his cheek or brush his hair with your hand, he'll flinch back instinctively at first, but grows to like it. If you earnestly tell him how pretty he is, if you look closely, you can see a faint blush dusting his cheeks before he huffs and looks away.

🔪• He likes you playing with his hair, too. It's more of a reason to keep his mask off, like when you're lounging around the house or trying to sleep. Gently tugging and carding your fingers through his brown curls makes him slump onto you and let his mind wander into a place that's not full of darkness and blood. The same goes for if you pull his hair slightly when you're making out. You have to teach him how to kiss you properly first, since he's never done this before. But Michael tones down the roughness and desperate, quick moves the more you do it, and learns how to be gentle. Well, gentler. He likes the feeling of being close together and connected on a deeper level, it balances him out a bit, and he lets himself enjoy it.

🔪• Random point, but if you find the one, specific ticklish spot he has, you could catch a glimpse of his rare smiles as he forces your hands away and tries to glare at you in annoyance. If you're ticklish, watch out, cus he'll get you back until you're in a laughing crying fit. You make him laugh just by being you every so often, and his smile is heart-stopping.

🔪• Michael knows that you're his forever, and that's exactly how he wants it. It's honestly not that bad a relationship (overlooking the kills and all, obviously) if you can take his protectiveness and weird mannerisms. But in the whole world, you'll never find a loyaler person, or anyone who loves as hard and obsessively as him. No one would think it - especially not Loomis - but you treating Michael Myers as a human and not as The Shape or some evil monster keeps a special little part of him awake amongst the darkness that swarms in his head.

[vidavalor]

Does Aziraphale drink coffee, do you think? I keep seeing people who think he doesn't because they think he doesn't know what espresso does but he also has a regular order? Do you think there's a word thing happening here? Thanks!

Hi there. 💕 Thanks for the ask. I hope you're having a great day. There are eccles cakes for snacks tonight as it felt appropriate for this one. 😊 We've actually seen Aziraphale drink coffee back in 1.01 in the scene at The Ritz in 2008 so I'm also frequently confused by people saying that they think he doesn't know what coffee is. Seems a bit of a stretch... Yeah, I think there's a wordplay thing happening in the Six Shots of Espresso scene that might be at the root of the coffee confusion.

Let's look at what coffee is in Good Omens and Aziraphale's joke around the word calm.

When we use calm today, we mean a sense of peace and relaxation. The word comes from the Greek kauma, though, which originally meant heat, as well as the Latin calere, which meant to feel hot.

To that end? Something that is calm in Ineffable Husbands Speak is something that brings about a sense of peace and relaxation through heat, which is a way to describe not just a hot cup of coffee but, also, well... sex. But why is Aziraphale describing sex when they're ordering coffee?

Let's back up and look at Crowley's very laced-with-their-vocabulary coffee order:

Take a big cup. Put six shots of espresso into it. Nothing else.

Big: Original definitions: generous; powerful, strong; a great man.

Cup: For a such little word, it has an unexpectedly fun history. A cup is a drinking vessel, yes. It also meant a ship's hull at one point. These two and their fish-and-the-sea stuff... Even more amusing, it also once meant a beehive. Later on in S2, we get Crowley explaining the angels = bees analogy to Muriel that holds up within Crowley & Aziraphale's speak in different scenes as well. Additionally, there's cup as a verb-- to cup, as in to take something in hand with the hand in a curved, cup-like shape. Crowley cupping a cup as visual innuendo in the pub scene in S2:

The word cup also contains the word up.

Up = Heaven/angels/Aziraphale.

Contrast with Aziraphale then replying with "does it calm you down?"

Big Cup = Aziraphale.

So, what does Crowley feeling like doing with the big cup he'd like to take this morning? Putting six shots of espresso into it.

Six shots: Six, from the Latin verb sex. Aziraphale as The Great Beast joke from the Odegra scene. 666 aka The Mark of the Beast in S1 was the literal numbers and part of Adam's phone number. In S2, it's the Latin verb root of the word six-- so, it's sex, sex, sex... 😂

Shots -- form of measurement for two euphemistic beverages in Good Omens: alcohol and coffee.

Shots contains hot (self-explanatory) and hots, the slang for peppers, which Aziraphale also uses to describe Crowley in a couple of different ways in Demon's Guide to Angelic Beings. It was also part of Aziraphale's "sitting on it" sword joke to Crowley in S1 where the handle looked like a pepper grinder.

[On the story's overall wordplay level, as opposed to within Crowley and Aziraphale's speak, there is also that Crowley's paralleling character in The Them is Pepper.]

Espresso: Coffee. Literally translated: fast coffee. Also contains press, a word that overlaps food and seamstress euphemistic speak-- so, a little nod towards Mrs. Sandwich. You press clothes with an iron. You make a hot sandwich with a panini press. Something that is urgent-- like a very in-the-mood demon who knows something is irritatingly wrong and would rather they be meeting for breakfast as a date without any problems and so is ordering sexually euphemistic coffee-- is a pressing matter. 😉

Nothing else: You can leave it at nothing else alone and it works but it's also: know thin elks. To know in the old, religious sense is to know someone "biblically"-- to be sleeping with someone-- which is how Crowley uses it still in the context of their speak: "Just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing."/"He's just an angel I know."/"We've known each other a long time."/what he says to Aziraphale when he thinks they're going to die in S1: "It was nice knowing you."

I've noticed a few instances of the word thin and/or words containing it referring to Crowley, with this being one of them. Elks are a kind of deer native to North America, a little joke on the fact that they're in the American-themed Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death. Their whole horses thing (and every other animal thing basically lol) is also a deer thing. Deer is homophonic for dear. "My dear" and "My dear fellow" are also "my deer" and "my deer fellow."

Nothing else = Know Thin Elks = Crowley self-proclaiming himself the thin, American deer who'd like to break fast, err, breakfast lol with some biblical knowledge with the angelic big cup.

Shout out to Nina Sosanya (the actress, not the character) for being able to not just laugh through this. The hand gestures are, unintentionally on the part of the character, Crowley's euphemistic order as well: Six aka sex. Being one. Bigggggg cup. 🤭

So, basically, the coffee confusion comes from Aziraphale's response to Crowley's coffee order-- so, let's look at that. Crowley's coffee order with Nina means to her that he wants a literal big cup filled with six shots of literal espresso but, to Aziraphale, it's putting in a request for sex using the coffee euphemistically. Crowley said he wanted to take the big cup and fill it with some shots of espresso mmhmm, to which Aziraphale then replied:

That sounds fun. Does it calm you down?

The big cup is game to know the thin elk 😉 and he has some words for him in return, even if he's joking by pretending that they're really only talking about Crowley's literal coffee order.

Sound is what you hear so Aziraphale's acknowledging that he hears the wordplay and knows that Crowley is pressed for more than espresso at the moment. He heard the Ineffable Husbands Speak happening. A sound is also a body of water and was a word that originally also meant the act of swimming, so we've got some extra of their favorite sexual metaphor-- fish-and-the-sea/bodies-of-water-- in here as well.

We already looked at how calm means relaxing through heat above. Aziraphale asks if it-- both the coffee order and the "coffee order"-- calms Crowley down, responding to Crowley's use of up within cup as descriptive for Aziraphale. Neither of them are actually working for Heaven or Hell anymore, nor do they really see one another as like the other angels and demons, but it's a shorthand.

Up and down are also fun words because of the fact that they often are used in slang kind of interchangeably-- to get on up and to get down can mean the same thing, for example. The tagline for S2 is a joke around that as well: something's going down in The Up. Something going down is something happening but the something that is happening is also that angels are going down. (Might also be something to keep in mind then about the last shot of the season being Aziraphale seeming to go Up and how that really can still very much mean that he's ultimately what's going down.)

You could also, if you're of mind to, take the 'calm you down' to be something Aziraphale has in mind as well, centered around the meaning of going down that doesn't involve an elevator or stairs, if you see where I'm going with this? Given how the scene ends, I think Crowley probably heard that bit as we'll look at in a second...

Aziraphale, knowing Nina does not know the root of the word calm, nor that he and Crowley are speaking their cant vocabulary in front of her and what calm means in that vocabulary, then asks Nina a question:

This is meant to amuse Crowley because calm, to Nina, means something that's relaxing and can help mellow someone out, while calm, in Ineffable Husbands Speak, incorporates the heat-related roots of the word to make it mean something that induces a state of peace and relaxation through heat-- so, something that's sexy.

As a result, Aziraphale has set it up so that almost anything that Nina could say in response to this would be amusing to him and Crowley because, while they know she doesn't understand what they're saying beneath the surface, what she says in response here is, in that speak, as if whatever she's saying is the sexiest thing she sells.

I'm of the opinion that Aziraphale, in mentioning things that are calm, is trying to get Nina to offer him a form of tea that Aziraphale can then turn into an equally sexually euphemistic order of his own. (There are a couple of uses of tea that way in other scenes and Aziraphale had also ordered tea in the date they didn't end up having in the sushi scene in 1.01.) But Nina surprises Aziraphale with her response.

Aziraphale didn't take into account that Nina won't offer him tea because it seems too logical a choice. He's an older Englishman to Nina, so, wouldn't he just ask for tea, if that's what he wants? To her, he must be looking for something calming that is not tea. She has a quick think about it and, both unintentionally and amusingly, comes up with the one thing that she sells that not only calms people down in the way that Nina understands calm to mean-- chills them out and makes them happy-- but is also calm by Crowley and Aziraphale's standards-- chills them out and makes them happy but with an element of sex.

What Nina doesn't realize is the history of eccles cakes, which, ironically, really do meet the definition of calming people down in a sexy way by Crowley and Aziraphale speak standards. They were once banned in England for being thought of as food of the devil because they were so sinfully delicious. This scene will also probably be even funnier after S3 because, historically, eccles cakes tie to 1650-- one of the years mentioned by Aziraphale in the Apology Dance scene. If we get that flashback in S3, eccles cakes could wind up having additional layers of meaning to Crowley and Aziraphale that would add even more to this scene in S2.

Either way, Crowley and Aziraphale lived through that history, so it's already funny then that Aziraphale, in response, looks at Crowley and just says:

So, yeah, Aziraphale does know what espresso is and what caffeine is and was joking with Crowley about how he might have been ordering some calm with Aziraphale but what he ordered from Nina was anxiety in a mug.

We actually saw Aziraphale and Crowley drink coffee at The Ritz in 2008 in S1. Aziraphale's mug indicates that he was drinking a cappuccino or a latte, which are both espresso-based drinks. Crowley was not having six shots of espresso with nothing else at that moment. He was having maybe a third of that, tops, in a dessert coffee that was light enough to have milk or cream of it and may or may not have also contained alcohol. Mr. Six Shots of Espresso in a Big Cup doesn't always take his coffee that way, ah... both literally and euphemistically. 😉

They're visible on the table here:

Aziraphale's large oat milk latte with a dash of almond syrup is his usual order at Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death... which is a creepy thing for Whoever Derek Jacobi is Playing to know, I agree. It's another indication that he drinks coffee regularly. Aziraphale knows Nina not just from The Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Traders Association but because her shop is right across the street from where he lives and works so it's where he goes to get the coffee that he drinks to a point of having an usual order.

Nina doesn't know Crowley at the start of the Six Shots of Espresso scene and is surprised to see an additional twist to the bookseller's suddenly surprisingly interesting and wild sex life being that, in addition to The Naked Man Friend, the bookseller apparently has a fella-- this charming ginger with the bizarrely intense morning coffee order. Nina doesn't know Crowley because Crowley and Aziraphale don't do mornings in an effort to not get caught. Crowley's gone before dawn. Mrs. Sandwich knows about them because she works at night outside the bookshop's side door; Nina does not because she works beginning in the early mornings across the street.

The know thin elks bit-- when elks are wapitis, which means "light-colored deer"-- is then even funnier when Nina unintentionally uses an idiom that goes along with Crowley and Aziraphale's wordplay to describe Aziraphale in this scene: You're a dark horse, Mr. Fell.

Aziraphale as dark (also: d'ark and contains ark, so: of The Ark/The Flood) and Crowley as light (of stars and fire; light in weight; light as truth; lightens burdens and brightens up Aziraphale's world with humor, and so on) are also in the wordplay in 1941, where they are rather adorably inverting their own visuals when flirting with one another:

Aziraphale doesn't just mean he'd miss coffee-the-beverage when he tells Whichever Villain Derek Jacobi Is Playing that he doesn't want to go back to Heaven. Aziraphale is obviously not saying it directly but is thinking about the much more pressing problem:

Where would he get his coffee, ya dig?

Coffee is coffee itself. Coffee is freedom in general, especially the kind that comes from the American-themed Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death. But coffee is also sex-- free, liberated sex, in particular. The choice to live as Aziraphale pleases, for him, is centered around his life on Earth with Crowley and going to Heaven means he would lose that. Coffee is not much different from the use of alcohol in the same way in S1 as Crowley was talking about how Armageddon happening and Aziraphale stuck in Heaven and separated from Crowley and the two of them not having their life on Earth would mean they wouldn't be able to be together:

"Not too big on wine in Heaven, are they? Or single-malt scotch. Or frou frou cocktails with little umbrellas..."

All that then making it funnier that, upon hearing that there's a "not technically" Naked Man Friend in the bookshop, Crowley's literal drink order arrives at the table. Even though Crowley knows that there's some kind of situation happening here that isn't anything worth being jealous over, he's definitely not missing an opportunity to tease Aziraphale a bit over whatever's going on a little.

Turns out that Aziraphale isn't the only one who can make a show of eating and drinking. There's an awful lot of tongue in that big cup...

Connected scene: "A sherry for me, please."

Sherry: A light wine, usually drunk before a meal to stimulate the appetite. Homophone: the French cheri, meaning dear. Aziraphale ordered a Crowley-esque wine to drink it in front of him.

Finally, as if we needed more proof of coffee as figurative language, there's always...

You're both equal parts skinny lattes and large oat milk ones with dashes of almond syrup, ladies, but, yeah, Maggie's your Crowley, Nina. They're both skinny lattes and a whole world of other beverages as well.

You said it, Mags. 😂

[heathersdesk]

The FOMO of MyKayla Skinner

MyKayla Skinner is a former gymnast and silver medalist from Team USA. She is a Latter-day Saint. She is also getting every one of her holes handed to her—in some well-deserved schadenfreude—from her former team mates. Let's talk about it because it also involves a needed discussion about LDS racism.

MyKayla Skinner got the dog and pony show that LDS Olympic athletes often get in our community. At that point, she didn't just become a representative of Team USA. She became a global ambassador for our faith. Which is really unfortunate because she's bad at representing herself well, let alone other people. So let's learn together how not to repeat the mistakes of MyKayla Skinner in public. Let's be prepared to answer well for her behavior, since she has become an emissary for us on the global stage and is doing it badly.

It's unwise to criticize a team to which you no longer belong in any kind of official capacity. But if you must, avoid opening yourself to the entire US women's gymnastics team dog walking you in public for your feedback. Never say anything that Simone Biles could ever use against you in an Instagram caption.

Also, never call Gabby Douglas a monkey in any way, shape, or form. Not in word, not with Photoshop, and not via stupid little monkey emojis. In case you haven't been exposed to the lexicon of racism and slurs, that's a deeply offensive racial slur for black people. And I'm not giving Skinner the benefit of the doubt on this one. It is a knowable fact that NBC got themselves into hot water for the portrayal of a monkey doing gymnastics in an ad that also featured Gabby Douglas back in 2012. The condemnation of that portrayal as a racist slur is something MyKayla Skinner would know about. This isn't poor wording or ignorance on her part. Skinner knew it was racist when she did this to Gabby Douglas in 2016. She still did it anyway.

And as a Latter-day Saint, I condemn what Skinner has said and done to her team mates. She has every reason to know better and do better. I reject the notion that her proximity to the LDS Church and its past failures with race are an excuse for this. This is her failure and she should take responsibility for it. She owes sincerest apologies and restitution to those she has harmed with her words. That's what the Church teaches. That's what her religion teaches her duty and obligations are.

MyKayla Skinner is clearly a deeply competitive person. It has gotten to the point of irrational and self-destructive jealousy. She can barely contain how she feels about not being able to compete in Paris. She cannot bear to see anyone else succeeding in this moment if she can't. And for all of the apologies she's had to give over the years, she doesn't appear to be learning the right lessons.

When people talk about there still being racism in the Church, this is what they're talking about. This is what it looks like. It's what happens when individual members, of whom the Church is composed, engage in the moral licensing and hypocrisy to justify their own racism. The racism, not the envy, came first. The envy only illuminated the racism that was already there.

Team USA has world class athletes, gold medalists many times over, on their women's gymnastics team. Directing racism at any of them is wrong, no matter who does it—even when it's one of our own. Especially when it's one of our own.

[bloggingboutburgers]

cw: discussions of bullying and aphobia

Hearing aroace peoples' existential crises over their friends discussing crushes, as someone who was socially isolated and severly bullied for their whole childhood and most of their adolescence so had NO friendgroup until adulthood and NO community or inclusion in literally anything (and when it came to sex and romance the other kids explicitly considered my potential involvement in either to be impossible / laughible because of how "weird" they found me (my autistic traits before I even realised I'm autistic)), felt like starving while listening to someone else complain about the food they're actively eating.

Food intolerances and dislike of different foods (as metaphor for being aro/ace) ARE important and difficult to grapple with when you're expected to eat specific foods in specific proportions at different times - but man did it sting until I realised why I felt that way and gave myself a talking to since my trauma doesn't justify belittling the very real struggles of aroace people.

I guess since the choice between 'stay alone or conform' was never really a choice because I was rejected no matter how cis straight or allo I was it taught me to go "fuck it" and accept myself regardless of what other people do or say (which ironically has lead to me becoming dramatically popular all of a sudden at uni, which has been weird to get used to since I have literally no experience with any of this - platonic or otherwise - which did lead to some advantage being taken of me but f*ck it we ball ^^'). And I guess it's just been difficult understanding why anyone would care so much about whether they're "normal" or not? You really have nothing to gain from that, safety is not guaranteed in conformity so best to live aroace and damn all aphobes to hell if they have a problem with that.

It's a mindset I'll never understand and that's only ok now insofar as that lack of understanding no longer results in misplaced anger at people who, for a time, I had once considered spoilt, ungrateful and out of touch. Basically, I'm full of sh*t and to every aroace person reading this you deserve good friends that actually respect you for who you are and do not even TRY to get you to change your mind about sex or romance. Have a lovely day x

Sincerely,

An aggressive emotional support anon

I'm genuinely sorry for all the hardships you went through. I don't mean to equate at all, truthfully from reading you and considering I WAS asked some of those questions as a kid regardless (the "who's your crush" bullshit and whatnot), it definitely sounds like I had it less hard than you did, but... I was bullied in elementary school and middle school, also not necessarily because I was aroace (I don't know why it happened really, I don't know if anyone ever knows, I boil it down to... me being me and there being something fundamentally wrong with me ig), and I definitely also get some of those feelings of "oh boo hoo you call that struggle" boiling in me when people discuss their own past struggles sometimes, so... Yeah, every one person's experience is unique, but I can at the very least very much sympathize.

I think a way it manifests in me is that I now have that compulsive, debilitating fear of being "othered" in any way, shape, or form, so I guess being aroace doesn't help my case. But at the same time... Well, like you brilliantly put it, when you're in a situation like that, no matter what you do, you won't be accepted anyway, and having that knowledge back then is probably also what lead me to figure myself out as aroace so early in life. Because I was treated as this much of an outsider, I ironically had that much room in my own head to form my own identity, far apart from others and the need to conform. Yeah, that identity may include a "piece of shit that doesn't deserve to be supported of part of a group" side that's been forced in, buried deep down and can't be erased, but... It also includes asexual and aromantic, and it's been cemented so hard from so early with such self-affirmation that later down the line, it saved me from a lot of stuff. I never had to force myself into a romantic or sexual relationship because I was undoubtably aroace – and people saw me as an outsider and an eyesore anyway. I spent years of being scared to go to school or out in the street every day, but later down the line, somehow, I feel it saved me from doing so many things I wouldn't have wanted to do.

...Bleh, sorry, didn't mean to turn this into me-me-me crap when you had the courage and sincerity of not only showing your experience, but finding the strength to show more love, understanding and support than a lot of people probably cared to give you for so long, despite all the pain you felt for so long. I guess I just wanna say... This take is definitely inspiring, so thank you on behalf of myself and others I'm sure, but also... I hope that, for yourself, you're also managing to own what you lived through in a way that allowed you to affirm yourself more strongly (it sounds like you are, I hope it IS the case), and most importantly, I hope you're in a much better place in your life now and you'll never have to return to that level of loneliness again.

[technicolorfamiliar]

Well, it took me a year, but I watched a billion 50+ Conrad Veidt films. Some good, some great, some so bad that I hope I never have to see them again.

This post is a stand in for the entire second half of this filmic journey -- I'll link the original 5 posts that make up the first part below. But instead of reposting all of my reviews for all of these titles (the original posts for these are on Pillowfort), I'll just share some highlights below the cut.

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5

Bleaker and darker than I expected, but that makes sense if it's based on a WWI memoir. What happened to Martha was legitimately awful and hard to watch. Stilted performances aside, I would have also liked a whole separate movie about the lesbian spy aunt. But Commandant Oberaertz... [redacted]. He's so hot, despite the character being absolutely awful and creepy and intimidating. I actually said "wow" out loud about his body shape in that costume. That jacket is fitted within a millimeter of its life. How many other films did Connie use this lower register in? Not many, right? It's too much, TOO MUCH. I think this movie took ten years off my life.

I Was a Spy, 1933

Dir. Victor Saville

⭐3/5

Watched Feb 18, Snowgrouse's masterpost

Connie's performance in this is more sympathetic than it has any right to be. The movie very easily could have been sensationalist garbage, and I'm so glad it was handled with relative care and humanity. I liked his whole vibe, I am not immune to party boy Rasputin's charms; "he's got the kavorca, the lure of the animal!" He looks like he stinks, which in this case may not necessarily be a bad thing. I don't even know what to make of all the cooing and baby talk he does with Alexei, or for that matter Drunk!Rasputin dancing and climbing over furniture to get at his ladies. I wish we got to see more scenes with Rasputin and the royal family, how those relationships formed and affected matters of state. We only really get to know about any of that through dialogue among other court officials. And so the emotional turn at the ending was unexpected. The way he cried out after being shot, I've never heard a sound like that come from a human being. Needless to say I did not feel great when the movie ended, but I liked it way more than I thought I would.

Rasputin, Dämon der Frauen, 1932

Dir. Adolf Trotz

⭐3/5

Watched Mar 23, Archive.org

Almost all the performances in this are pretty excellent. The stripped back, realistic style with handheld, newsreel camerawork really suits these actors and the story. Apparently this is a remake of an English film which is based on a play, and it definitely feels like a play. I'm fascinated by this little movie, it's basically an anti-war film about British soldiers in WWI produced in Germany in the early 30s… how did this even get made?? Messages about the horrors of war aside, the homoerotic undertones (overtones?) alone make this a truly unique piece of storytelling for the time and place it was filmed. And those under/overtones are treated pretty respectfully, none of these men are the butt of a joke, how they are with one another is handled with a naturalism that isn't really seen again until maybe the 1950s. And Connie. The range. Can we talk about Stanhope? He's a gruff, messy drunk, a traumatized, hollowed out husk of a man. When Osbourne says something like "you'll be alright when this is over," NO HE WOULDN'T, HE'D BE WORSE. His relationship with Raleigh is interesting too, clearly they were more than casual friends. I didn't believe for a second that the tension between Stanhope and Raleigh was about the sister/fiancée, it's weak, weak I tell you. It's one of Connie's most underrated performances.

Die andere Seite, 1931

Dir. Heinz Paul

⭐3.75/5

Watched Apr 27, Snowgrouse's masterpost

Everyone in this movie looks like a Rankin Bass stop motion character. The ending was abrupt as fuck, Werner Krauss' Jack the Ripper got a lot less screen time and I wonder if they just tacked that onto the end after they realized they spent too much time on Emil Jannings' and Connie's characters. There's a lot of fondling going on in this movie, there's the guy with the bread in the first part, then Connie going all glassy-eyed caressing his globes. Ivan the Terrible is a certified DIVA in that diaphanous, white robe, even with the hard middle part and scraggly beard. What is he doing with his tongue the whole time, though?? Love that he crashes some random girl's wedding, lets her father get murdered by assassins, kidnaps her AND her husband, and brings them both home to his sex dungeon. Connie is doing the most -- the eyes, the gestures, all the greatest hits from his silent film acting tool box, he's whipping them out for this role.

Das Wachsfigurenkabinett (Waxworks), 1924

Dir. Paul Leni, Leo Birinski

⭐2/5

Watched May 29, Archive.org

I didn't like this movie, I just wanted an excuse to post this screenshot. But it actually is a very silly little movie, with what must have been an enormous budget for costumes and sets, and it has some cute physical comedy. Sadly, Connie's in too little of the film to save it from being obnoxious. I did like the Czar's body double who just wanted to work on his needlepoint, and the Court Spanker who was clearly really into his job. And of course Metternich, that sly dog, that velvet-clad scamp. Between the all the foxy, gap-toothed grinning he does and the way he's going to town on that dialogue, he is as always a pleasure to watch. The English version is on Youtube somewhere, so I may go through that and pick out the time stamps for Connie's scenes because I don't think I could sit through this whole movie again, especially not that stupid fucking "Wien und der Wein" song, jesus christ.

Der Kongress tanzt, 1931

Dir. Erik Charell

⭐2/5

Watched Jun 23, Snowgrouse's masterpost

Apparently this movie was considered a flop, and Connie wasn't super happy with this role and others around this time. I think I must have had that info in the back of my mind somewhere going into this movie, because my expectations were pretty low. So, as usual, I actually wound up liking it more than I thought I would. It's a lot sillier than it has any right to be, but yeah it's ultimately a piece of fluff compared to some of the other heavy-hitting films on this list. I love when Connie has a comedic foil like the Marius character, but it could have been a lot better if the dialogue was snappier and the timing tighter. And Connie's character promises to be this bad bitch at the top of the movie, but all we get is one quick, poorly choreographed sword fight and a whole bunch of nothing after that. There's all this build up, I mean, the character is nicknamed The Black Death, and the movie never really lets the character live up to the name. It's a missed opportunity for sure. That said, the Puffy Shirt with the open collar "ensconced in velvet" (to risk yet more Seinfeld references), jaunty hat, knee-high boots with spurs look is really doing it for me. And THERE ARE PUPPIES. Perhaps the most delightful thing that has ever happened in cinematic history. I couldn’t believe it. Connie picked up the first puppy and said, "You big boy, you!" and I hate him, like full Madeline Kahn Mrs. White "flames… on the side of my face." I hate him so much.

Under the Red Robe, 1937

Dir. Victor Seastrom

⭐2.5/5

Watched Jul 17, Youtube

[karimationkat]

Sandcastle - AVM Drabble

Idk if this counts as a drabble, it's a small one shot about KO/MT (called Orange here)

Headcanon territory again XP

The heck, 1004 words?

Two juice boxes, a banana, a large pack of chocolate chip cookies and a neon yellow coloured wallet shaped like cartoon bee or a lemon. Orange counted them as small hands were trying to stuff those things in a just as small backpack with heroes from various popular kids shows printed on them. No matter how often the child changed the order in which they put the things in, there was always a few things or the large pack of the chocolate chip cookies lying next to the backpack. Only then the child turned towards the adult.

"Dada, you carry this too, please"

Orange chuckled as he watched Gold cramp the pack of chocolate chip cookies into the basket with fruits, snacks and drinks. It was his day-off and he had pinky-promised Gold that they would picnic at the playground, so that they could play there the entire day. Impatiently Gold stormed off to door after they had finally gotten everything sorted in with the loud noises from the small bright coloured plastic tools in the small bright coloured plastic bucket that they had been carrying. Orange picked up the basket and went after them.

It was a sunny and warm late summer day, the rays of the hit his face gently as Orange settled down the lawn that was half covered by shadow of a tree. Gold had ran off to the sandbox already, leaving their backpack for Orange to guard. Despite the nice weather, there weren't many people at the playground. Their neighbourhood didn't have many children. So the child sitting all alone on a bench near the sandbox Gold was playing at immediately caught his attention.

That child was a little older then Gold and watched Gold shoveling the sand in the bright yellow bucket with the purple handle. Orange was sitting quite far away and couldn't hear what Gold was saying but the other child didn't reply nor react in any way. They just continued to watch Gold. Orange did the same. While reading his book, he glanced after every paragraph at sandbox.

A sandcastle was slowly started form itself and Gold continued to talk to the young stranger. At some point Orange saw how Gold waved to him enthusiastically with both armes. Orange put his book to the side and as he stood up he saw how the other child was no longer sitting there. But was standing infront of Gold. The sandcastle was gone.

When Orange hurried over, the child already ran off. Gold was sitting silently looking at the pile of sand.

"Sunshine, are you okay? What happened?"

He kneeled down next to Gold.

"I asked them if they want to build with me."

Their voice was choking in tears and sobs.

Orange gentle scooped Gold into his lap and rubbed their shoulder.

"There there, my sun. Do you want to drink something? Or a little snack? We can build a new one together and I'll make sure no one does anything to that one, okay?"

Gold shook their head.

"I wanna go home."

Orange nodded and started to collect all the plastic tools into the bucked and carried both it and Gold to the basket. He helped Gold to put on their backpack and they silently made their way home.

"Mr. Orange?"

Like a jump into an iced pool Orange immediately came back to his senses. He looked over from the sandbox of the old playground to Purple. They're currently talking a stroll around the neighbourhood.

"Is everything alright?"

They asked very carefully and worried.

"I'm fine. Remembered something..."

The older one reassured them. Purple didn't seem to be fully relieved but they took the answer anyway. He sighed.

"Say, Purple, do you want to build a sandcastle?"

This caught the other completely off guard. They visibly started to contemplate whether this was a test or something in that kind. But after an awkward silence they hesitantly nodded. They looked like they wanted to ask something however nothing came over the lips.

Making a sandcastle was like a harder job then it seemed, orange had to admit to himself. Or maybe it was because they didn't have a bucket and the tools. While Orange was working on the Towers, Purple built the walls that connected the towers.

"This looks awful..."

Orange chuckled under his breath keeping his eyes on the left tower that he was working at. Grains of sand slippered down. It was hard to keep them at the top.

"I could have done it better in Minecraft..."

Purple muttered slightly infuriated. They're walls looked like dams and they were trying to make them less rounder.

"So could have I, but isn't it more fun to do like this?"

Purple just shrugged. They stood up and seated themselves on the edge of the sandbox to see how the sandcastle looked like. They would have covered their eyes with their hands in shame of the monstrosity they created if their hands weren't already covered in sand.

"Are all sandcastle supposed to look like that?"

Oranges smiled as he watched the youngling glare at the sandcastle as if it insulted their mother. The autumn wind gently rattled the leaves on the branches of the trees to fill the silence of the two adults sitting in the sandbox while admiring or more frowning on the castle.

"It seems like you had a lot of fun."

It was a comment on Orange's smile. He shrugged aswell and turned to the other.

"How about you? Did you have fun?"

Purple's face softened. With a smile what they tried to suppress they stood up and swept the sand of their hands and clothes.

"Yeah... This was fun... I never did build a sandcastle before."

Their voice had a sad undertone as they spoke. When Orange opened his mouth to say something but it seemed like Purple knew what it was. They smirked and said.

"Let's build one some time again. A better one."

And with a kick the sandcastle was gone.

[dany-is-my-queen]

A Question of Loyalty III

Rhaenyra Targaryen x reader, Alicent Hightower x reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Note: Another flashback chapter! This one is a favorite of mine 🖤 happy reading! Always appreciate the support 🥰

Summary: When dragons of green and dragons of black dance, you have to choose the color that suits you best.

Life was surely stepping in in an incredible pace, for every day since the wedding you wanted to escape the place again, Aegon’s High Hill being your paradise, yet your downfall altogether.

“My daughter, I know I was harsh on you, a bit too much. You fought bravely beside us, not to prove yourself but because that’s who you are. This is for you.” Corlys said, handing you a handsome Valyrian sword, the pommel shaped by a seahorse.

“I thank you, father. It means the world.” You beamed at the sight of your new blade.

“How should you name it then?”

“Nightrider.” You put it back inside its sheath.

“By the way, Y/N…” Corlys was nigh hesitant to ask. “Now that your bother’s a husband. And Leana has taken a great interest on prince Daemon, well…” He chose carefully his words, not to appear pressuring, he did anyway. “Lords across the whole Realm have shown their fascination towards you. The son of Lord Tully, for instance. Houses Tyrell, Blackwood, Tarly, Costayne, Rowan… I could go on. You’re a comely lady, you ride a dragon, but, youth won’t last forever, my child. Don’t you want to form a family as soon as possible?”

“I wish a woman could mother a babe without a man.” You plainly answered, not sounding rude, however. Corlys knew better than prompt you any further, setting your mind already, too much alike your mother Rhaenys.

Moons flew by, and you continued dwelling in the matters of the heart, concerning both your childhood companions. Alicent glistened whenever she came across you, too bashful to comment about your “romantic, non appropriate encounter” on the night of Rhaenyra’s wedding. But you knew what it had meant to her, you had lit a spark that will not be easy for her to extinguish.

Having just woken up to start the day, a guard came to fetch you and escorted you to the Godswood, where Syrax’s rider solemnly awaited you. Haven’t spoken for weeks, you didn’t know what to expect, or how to react to her very presence, in that case.

“Princess Rhaenyra.”

“Riñnykeā Y/N, nyke istan hoping īlon could ȳzaldrīzes.” (Lady Y/N, I was hoping we could talk)

“Skoros iksos konīr naejot vestragon?” (What is there to say?) You blurted, in all honesty discourteousness was not your intent, but when you peeped into her eyes, it was like a shock to your heart, you were already used to the feeling. “I apologize for my bad manners, Princess.”

“I never meant to insult you, Y/N. Not even at my wedding… I don’t know why I said that. I would never consider you or treat you as my whore, let alone offend you by calling you someone else's. I guess I just... lost my mind. You were... my Lady, my equal. I'm truly sorry. I'm not asking you to forgive me and start over. It will be hard, I know, but I care about you a lot. I've lied to you, I've kept secrets, even confessing to you now makes me ashamed. If you hate me, then it's okay. The fault is mine and mine alone. You know, I've always wondered why they call me the Realm’s Delight when that title should belong to you. Any man or woman lucky enough to catch your eye is the luckiest in the Seven Kingdoms, in the whole fucking world. You deserve so much more than I can offer you. Bless se mēre bona gets naejot lua aōha prūmia.” (Bless the one that gets to keep your heart)

“Riñnykeā Y/N, nyke istan hoping īlon could ȳzaldrīzes.” (Lady Y/N, I was hoping we could talk)

“Me and Her Grace.” She countered.

“The Realm’s Delight fits only a Princess. And so happens you are the only one.” You strived to keep the Queen away from the conversation, because you are likely to give yourself away in one way or another.

“You are forgetting my little step sister.” She simpered.

“Helaena is the sweetest. I cannot wait until you and Laenor indulge me with a niece, isn’t that a marvelous thing to hope?” Nonchalantly you proposed, Rhaenyra titled her head to stare at you amusingly.

“You might beat me to it.” You shared an affectionate chortle.

The memory of your yet third reconciliation with the Princess comes to you in a blur, for only a few weeks later she announced she was with child. Your curiosity was at its hilt, you avoided such topics with Leanor, but it was fast… as it was expected of them.

Alicent had delivered another princeling, Aemond, Viserys named him. The first offspring of your brother and Rhaenyra came without a fuss, summoning your presence during childbirth, you abided, despite the ache buried within you, no time for being selfish, you whispered to yourself.

“He has your eyes.” Rhaenyra bespoke, swinging the baby in her arms, you pressed a peck on his little hand, he seemed to reciprocate your caress for he tangled his small fingers on your index one. “How should we name him?” Rhaenyra asked as if you were the other parent, not minding at all the midwives and handmaidens nearby, lost in her son and in you.

“Shouldn’t you… consult it with Laenor?”

“I have a few in mind.” She ignored your question, so you did too.

“Jaecerys.”

“That’s a name fit for a prince.” Said she with joy. “You’ll make a fine King one day, Jace.”

*********

You were perhaps too enthralled to notice, or perhaps you didn’t want to notice. Apparently everyone around you did. The Commander of the City Watch, Ser Harwin Strong, dubbed Breakbones, was a constant companion? To the Princess, seldom did he leave her side, being her sworn protector. He spent time of quality with little prince Jaecerys as well, what you paid mind only after the second birth of your brother’s child, Lucerys. You flinched at what it could meant. Was Rhaenyra seeking warmth on another man’s bed?

“Lady Y/N.” The Queen saluted you, donned in her usual green attires, you been neglecting her, but spending time with Princess Helaena, the introvert girl of four of age. Prince Aegon turning himself in quiet the troublemaker. “Helaena treasures her moments with you.” She watched her daughter dozing in your lap as a result of an hour playing with her dolls. “She won’t even play with me.”

“She’s a special girl.” You recited a sweet lullaby, remembering the letters Rhaenys sang for you as a toddler.

Alicent fought with all her might not to bring up Rhaenyra and Ser Harwin matter, concentrated instead on the sight before her.

“I’ve missed you.” She murmured not to disturb her daughter’s nap.

“I’m always here.” You responded in the same hushed tone, meeting her gaze, she knelt to where you laid on the floor, and eased in when you stroke her chin with delicacy. “Always”

**********

A year later, right after you returned to the Capital from visiting Laena and her twins, Queen Alicent was heavy with child once more, maesters wagered she was carrying twins, after an exhausting labor, she gave birth to a healthy male baby with hair as white as the snow, “Daeron”, he was named. Hence, the delivery has left her in a grievous state. The King was untroubled it would seem, for he wasn’t there attending to her.

“Y/N?” Alicent said with a fragile voice when she felt a hand on hers.

“Yes, my Queen. How are you holding up?”

“I’m afraid, what if I don’t survive this?”

You looked at her with fret. “You will, you will recover. You are to meet the new handsome prince you had delivered.” Tenderly you smiled at her.

“Would you raise my children, if something were to happen to me??” She uttered.

“Of course. But nothing is happening to you, not as long as I live, you shall be secure. I’d fight the Stranger myself if that’s what it took.”

“You only want to use that sword of yours.” Alicent japed. “I thought you were with Rhaenyra.” She winced.

“I wanted to be here.” You replied. “Even though, on my way I stumbled across her and Ser Harwin.”

The wet nurse came in with an inconsolable Daeron on her arms. “He won’t stop whimpering, your Grace. Perhaps if he sees your face, it’ll do.” Alicent shifted, trying to adjust to a more comfortable position.

“Oh my baby boy.”

“May I?” You gestured at the Queen softly, while the nurse awaited Alicent’s consent to hand you the babe.

“You may.” Little Daeron halted his cries once you took him in, you wiggled him and recited the same melody as with Jace and Helaena. “You’d be an excellent mother.” She later stated.

You've grown attached of the little princeling, you've taught him some of your mother tongue, you've played with him, soothed him to sleep. Alicent's heart swelled when she sees how fond you are of each other.

In his lodgings, he held a pair of wooden knights. “Mother mother!” Daeron exclaimed rather enthusiastic, it alarmed you a bit.

“What is it, my darling boy?” A worried Alicent gasped.

“This is you and this is Y/N.” He alluded to the stiff toys.

“Oh and who might I be?” You humorously asked.

“You’re the fearless dragon rider of the ancient Silverwing!”

“And I?” It was the Queen’s turn to comically inquire.

“You’re the damsel in distress, who’s seeking saving from her one true love.” He innocently said. You and Alicent look at each other expectantly, he didn’t notice though. “You are to rescue mother, get her to safety back to her home, you’ll defeat all enemies and armies with your dragon!” It is true that Viserys was never a parental figure to neither of them, he rarely visited them, even less did he play with them. “Can Y/N be my other mother, please, please?” He pleaded, and you doted on him.

“I thought I already was.” You joked and Alicent contemplated you in amazement, loving every second of the play pretending, wishing it could last forever.

You missed Daeron deeply, even though it has only been a few moons since he left for Oldtown to be Lord Hightower's squire, he took with him a bracelet with a little dragon in the middle that you gave him and his astounding hatchling (growing every day) Tessarion. He wept all night when he learned he was leaving, clutching to your leg tightly the next day and pouting until you promised him you would visit him as soon as you could, as long as he went and behaved like a proper prince.

“I love you, my silver boy.” You told him before he climbed into the carriage leaving you holding back tears with Alicent by your side.

Another two years have passed, and the Realm’s Delight pregnancy does not seem to be coming to an end. It's ironic, though. The women you love the most, producing heir after heir to men they do not exactly love, out of duty. Was it? You knew it was Alicent's case, you began to doubt the Princess'. You grew more and more fond of them, the "green" princes caring for you but not warming to you as much as the "black" princelings.

“Aunt Y/N! Can we go flying on Silverwing?” The lads begged excitingly, you whisked their heads and let them down slowly.

“I promise I will take you soon enough, when you are older.”

“We want to grow up fast to ride with you!” Little Jace exclaimed.

“You’ll be taller than me in no time. As of now, I’ll teach you how to give commands in Valyrian so both Vermax and Arrax get used to your voices. lua gīda, sōvegon, dohaeragon.” (Keep calm, fly, serve)

**********

“You shouldn’t have called for her.” You reprimanded Her Grace, she gave you a look and scoffed.

“I didn’t ask them to retrieve her. I’m ecstatic to make the acquaintance of my newest step-grandson.”

The truth behind why Alicent was doing this was to prove his point to you of all people; and to Viserys by all means. She’s spent years and years watching the Princess do as she pleases while taking advantage of being the heir, and bearing bastards in front of everyone's eyes. Hurting you, most of all. Neglecting your "friendship", knowing how much it hurt you that she was married to her brother, and now breaking her vows and lying with another man. Her insinuations had fallen on stony ears, she wasn't finished yet.

“You shouldn’t be walking in this condition, Princess.” With false politeness, Alicent expressed her concern. Rhaenyra looked beyond knocked out, sweating from head to toe, and your brother was upset, as well. You knew she was indignant that you were standing now with Her Grace, as if rooting for her or something of the sort.

“Have you picked a name already?” You cut the tension, while King Viserys arrived to proudly view his grandchild, as he had done before.

“Joffrey.” Laenor interjected ahead of the Princess, visibly confused by the sudden response of her husband. “We will name him Joffrey.”

“That’s an uncommon name for a Velaryon.” Alicent pointed out, peeking in between the pair.

“Lovely, nonetheless.” You attested.

“Yes, it is.” Viserys and Laenor chatted a bit whilst indulging in the sight of the newborn. Leaving you with a fatigued Rhaenyra on the settee, intending to get up to no avail, you offered your arm to her.

“I hope the labor was easy.” You said to her.

“Without you there, trust me, it wasn’t. Se dāria emagon mirre ao occupied se distracted.” (The Queen has kept you occupied and distracted) The Princess answered.

“īlon’ve issare both rather occupied isse bona case.” (We’ve been both rather occupied in that case)

“Would you mind speaking the common tongue in the presence of those who do not speak your language?” Alicent awkwardly said, catching the words “distracted and occupied”, annoying her.

“Sorry, your Grace.” Rhaenyra rolled her eyes, and turned to leave.

“My wife needs to rest. If you’ll excuse us. Your Grace, my King. Sister, would you mind accompany us?” The Queen gave you leave even though you don’t actually require it, she was irritated.

“Do keep trying, Ser Laenor; soon or late, you may get one who looks like you.”

You feel bad, guilty even, that Alicent does not cease on insisting about the same affair that began years ago. You also feel betrayed when you are in the same room as the Commander and the Princess, you can see the way he looks at her, how devoted he is to her, and how he has a special treatment with her kids. You’ve never approached Rhaenyra with this, nor has anyone more than Alicent being adamant on it.

“Mother, father! We’ve chosen and egg for the baby.” Jace said cheerfully, along with Luke. “Look, aunt Y/N, you like it?”

“I do, sweetheart. It’ll be a beautiful hatchling.” You admired the egg, and Luke hugged your waist to greet you.

“Off with you now, lads. Your mother wants to rest.” He urged the kids back to the Dragonpit to resume their training. Harwin was so deep in awe with the new babe and Rhaenyra looked apologetic when Laenor suggested you should leave the apartments.

“Y/N, a stroll in the gardens?” He offered, and noticed your gloomy resemblance, you threw a last glance at Rhaenyra before nodding and following him outdoors.

You didn’t ask Laenor more questions, nor were you eager to hear the answers he possessed. Despite of enjoying his own freedom, he was aware of things you were ignorant, ones you decided not to pay heed to save the torture.

“I was thinking… everything’s quiet here as of late. We should pay a visit to our sister and nieces. They’re still in Pentos. Sort of a… break.” Laenor suggested, you pondered for a minute.

“What of your wife and children?” You countered.

“They’ll be fine without me. They got good company.” He regretted what he said just when the words came out. “They are home.“

“I don’t know, Laenor. I of course do want to see Laena again. But being absent now does not seem like a good idea. The Queen is relentless.”

“She has no proof of anything, Y/N. They’re all mere false accusations to put his own son on the Throne. Don’t you miss flying with your favorite brother? I can’t hardly recall when was the last time we did so together. Oh I know why you’re reluctant! You fear again not winning the race between Silverwing and Seasmoke.” He jested, and you crackled hard.

“Oh yeah, you caught me.”

Later that evening, you approached the Queen and the young Princess, Helaena, who’s apparently way too focused on the worm on the top of her palm. Aemond was there too, all covered in ash and soot.

“My Lady.” Alicent addressed you, still upset, but now she was fuming.

“Bad timing?”

“Your nephews gave my son a pig.” Alicent hissed, holding Aemond close.

“What?”

“They were making fun of me.” Aemond shouted. “I’ll never have a dragon.”

“What have I just told you, my sweet son? Give it time.”

“My prince, if Silverwing does ever brings another clutch of eggs, I will personally deliver one to you, as a gift for your bravery.” You doubted your silvery dragon would indeed, as she’s an old one but whoever knows? You meant it though, the promise to him.

“Thank you.” Helaena proceded to show her insects to her younger brother, not a fan of them himself, he still paid attention to her.

“Those boys…” Alicent commenced.

“It’s not their nature. They’re gentle, kindhearted.”

“They resemble to you in those aspects. They might as well be yours.” For the first time, her clear resentment towards the children wasn’t one with rancour, you chuckled and so did she.

“Walk with me?” You strolled the small sunken courtyard, out of sight of creeping eyes.

“Is there a specific reason why you decided to bring us here, my Queen? You asked in an amused voice, she feigned offense.

“What are you insinuating?”

“That you want to kiss me.” She made a neutral face, and you began to think that you'd got it all wrong, that you'd misread the signs. "Alicent... -" With your guard down, she pulled you by the back of the neck and shut down your further ramblings, you reciprocated and as soon as she was done she hugged you affectionately.

“Sometimes I still wonder... if what I feel is a sin, if I'm a sinner for loving you this much.” You frowned, you observed that there was a battle going on inside her soul, inside her mind. She found herself thinking about her father, Otto’s words and warnings still echoing.

“Be careful with that girl, Alicent. She’ll destroy you.”

“Prepare Aegon to rule.”

“You cannot love another woman, you stupid, unholy child.”

“Aegon will be King. It is your duty to see it done.”

Trying to soothe her, you placed your forehead against hers. “It is not, I do not believe so. We are who we are, Alicent. We are true to ourselves, and that’s a brave thing to do. We embrace it, that’s why we get to feel alive, otherwise, we’d be empty.”

“I feel empty when I’m not with you.”

“Then you have answered your own question, my Queen." She smiled, and you planted another kiss on her immaculate lips.

*********

After an "incident" in the training yard involving the boys, you heard that Harwin beat the hell out of Criston, you were glad that he was put in his place after a lot of taunting and scorn regarding your nephews. You honestly don't know how you control yourself in similar situations. However, Breakbones is leaving the city to return to his duties as heir to Harrenhal. Rhaenyra and Alicent kept disagreeing on every issue, however big or small.

“Lady Y/N, I…-“ The silver-head does not seem to find the words to say, caught in her throat. “Pardon me, for bothering at these hours but, I want to say my farewells to you.” You were unable to register.

“Farewells?”

“I am leaving for Dragonstone, my lady. With the kids and my husband, your brother.”

“Is this because of the Queen’s-“

“A wise sailor leaves ahead of a gathering storm rather than try to defeat it.”

“Those are Laenor’s beliefs. You cannot-“

“I am serious, Y/N. It pains me, really it does. Jace and Luke too. But it’s better if we get some fresh air, different surroundings might do them good, Joffrey to grow up without the bitterness of the Capital. We cannot longer stand the increasing rumors, the gossip, the mounting threats and humiliation we have endured. I don’t even know what side you’re on, Y/N. You’re obviously torn. And it hurts.”

“Rumors or not, those boys are important to me. I adore them.”

“I know they are, and I know you do. I need to protect them from those who do not share your sentiment.” She gave a meekly half smile.

“A clever sailor finds the way to surround the gathering storm rather than to flee it.”

“Now, those are your beliefs. It’ll make the children happy if you bid them goodbye first light in the morrow.”

“I will.”

Has Rhaenyra stopped caring about you, has everything been spoiled by her feelings for Harwin Strong? You felt stupid, this started years ago. Since her wedding, she was never the same, and neither were you. Those were selfish thoughts, deep down you knew. Asking her to stay in King's Landing was too much, and you also knew Alicent would keep pushing it. Better that she went with her family to a safer place. It might help your feelings dissolve once and for all.

Just two weeks later, you decided it was your turn to think of yourself, and with suitors coming like hunters, stalking you every chance they got, leaving the court seemed appealing too, so you set off on your silvery she-dragon for High Tide to find the comfort of home, your parents and old friends.

Tagging: @loveislove4 @sophiexoxsblog

[bastionbibi]

Question if it’s okay to ask: what is it that made Akai one of your favourites? Or at least someone that’s cool in your book

Man.... This is like asking why I love soup.  Ok, I'm not sure if I can stay coherent but I'll try, 

Ive been reading detco on and off since I was a was a wee child and even back then he was already one of my favorites because I like mystery, and he was the definition of that. 

And this way before the revelation that he was a good guy too. There was this moment of 'yeah, okay, this is it, he's the one (that im not gonna be normal about)'. Specifically, I fell in love in that one scene where he met ran on a snowy night, something about that scene was just so striking, especially something about him that, despite how intimidating he sounded or looked, didn't set off any alarms in Ran, that was the point where I knew there's more to this character, and that I love him. 

On another lighter note. I like his shinigami aesthetic, his one liner and lack of facial expression, I like his lonewolf tendency, how weirdly dependable he is and yet, he's not, in any way shape or form, charming. 

Like that time where he confronted Gin for the first time, he could've told Jodie and Conan that he had a plan to elude the BO but he didn't, he acted alone, he's extremely slow to trust but when he does, he pledge to them his true loyalty. I mean, Conan was just a child in his eyes (even though now he knows him as Shinichi), and yet since he decided to trust him, he never dismissed his words or treat him like a liability despite his 'age'. 

When he trust people, he cherished them in his own ways, and that's what I find commendable. 

He's ANNOYING. An asshole 75% of the time, we never got more backstory about him and Akemi because I refuse to believe this man with the personality as hard to love as the taste of blue cheese could land not 1 but 2 amazing ladies like cmon now. I hate how he treated Jodie but I have no doubt he would take a bullet for her if need be, I guess that’s why Jodie still likes him too to a degree but he didnt deserve her tbh (<- says the girl who will still reblog redstarling fanart whenever it crosses my dash). 

The same can be applied to his ‘rivalry’ with Rei, it doesn't matter what his true reason was, he decided that night, when he was holding the bleeding gun of a man he failed to save, he would keep the truth away from Rei and he stick by that decision till now, Rei did everything in his power to literally hunt him down over a misunderstanding and he didn't care, come hell and high waters and he will still keep Rei away from the truth because that's what he decided to do and he keeps his promises, especially ones made to himself. 

I suppose I like him because outside of 'work', while he keeps people on a distance, you don't have to second guess on where you stand, there's a sort of ease in that. 

As the story progresses, we get to see reasons as to why he ended up this way and that was pretty entertaining, seeing how affectionate he can be to his siblings and what happened in his past to make him go the extreme lengths of being an agent to another country and infiltrating a deadly organization etc, it fleshes him out, it makes me excited to see where he'll end up next. 

Also, he looks kinda handsome ngl 

ON ANOTHER NOTE!! He's also just- Really weird?? 

Like ok, sure, he faked his death like one would do but he came back from the grave as a guy 5 years younger with pink hair that's taking his masters?? Hello???? Has he even been to college before like I legit wonder if he knows how hellish a masters program is AND, I know this is based on a situation that's out of his control, out of all the personalities he can embody, he chose to be a milfy malewife who's always ready to babysit others?? Dedication to the bit is unmatched. 

(Also bc i hc him as conans dad and made a whole series about it, thats fun!)

(Anyway if youre in the gc dont u dare call me a simp i am not . )