#so one week and then the information is gone

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for faking my death to get out of an abusive relationship?

Tw for verbal + mental/psychological abuse and suicide

I used to be in a discord server with some friends, there were about 40 people in it, only around 20 who were actually active. It was a while ago I can't remember. I was in that server for about 4 months.

From the start, people would occasionally get mad at me over something I didn't do. About every month or so someone would start a rumor about me and make the whole server gang up on me, I'd tell them it was false, but everyone would still avoid me for the next couple days.

I never did anything wrong, but I was always the center of the drama, and when I asked one person, R, why, he said he didn't know and that I didn't deserve so much hate.

About a week later R was talking in the vent channel about how I had manipulated him. I DMed him to ask why, and he told me it was because I asked him if he was my friend. I thought it was fucking stupid because it's not manipulative to be paranoid, but I pretended to be sorry because I didn't want him to be mad at me.

The server also had a bot where you could submit anonymous messages, and lots of people would use that feature to make up things about me to ruin my reputation.

After a while I left the server and only stayed in contact with a few people. However, every couple days another person would tell me I'm a monster and gaslight me into thinking I'm a terrible person, and every time I asked why they hated me they didn't give me an answer.

My only real friend, T, showed me some messages from the others after I left the server, and a bunch of people were making up stories about bad things I had done to them, and people who I had never even spoken to were saying that I had abused them and was dangerous.

Once someone told me thay they understood all the things R had said about me weren't true, but said it was still my fault anyway, and even told me that R had done nothing wrong (he lied about me in front of the entire server and is the reason I lost all my friends, and he yelled at me and called me evil because I was suicidal), and then they accused me of faking having amnesia because I had flashbacks.

Eventually, only four of my "friends" hadn't blocked me, and they almost never talked to me. Everyone kept calling me a terrible person because R spread lies about me and everyone else believed him instead of me.

It was to the point where I couldn't go one day without someone sending me death threats or trying to guilt trip me with false information, and I was getting very sever flashbacks of the stuff R had said to me, and I started failing classes because I couldn't focus on anything.

Eventually I had had enough, so I tagged them all in a tumblr post about how I was going to kill myself and then logged out of both that tumblr account and my old discord account forever.

(Also about a month after I had left, I got texts from irl friends, and it turns out someone on the server found the contact info of people I knew in real life just to ask if I was dead or not. And that scared the shit out of me.)

I've left out a lot of details of the abuse because of amnesia. I have a mental disorder which makes it hard to remember things, plus the brain often blocks out traumatic memories, so I'm sorry if some info feels missing.

The only reason I feel like I might be an asshole is because once I was gone, all of them switched targets and started to harass T. They said they hated him for being on my side, and sent him death threats on anon because he was mad at them for killing his friend. They started treating him the same way they treated me, and called him a horrible person but refused to give a reason as to why, and if I had stayed around they would've left him alone.

@should-be-dead (made a sideblog so I get notified when this is posted)

[latenightdaydreams]

I have an idea that Konig was kicked out of his old apartment because his last deployment was last for years and he decided to find another place to rent a share apartment. When he opened his new apartment's door to move in, reader accidently greeted him with the biggest squirt in his life that he's ever seen =)))) (like reader didn't know he'd move in that day)

I love it, a great way to start off a new lease😈

Roommates (fem)

MDNI🔞

Master List

>cw: fem/afab, masturbation

1.5k word count

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.

Coming back after four years of being deployed, he was greeted with a huge pile of mail. Plopping his body in his desk chair, he began to look for a new place to live. That when he finds you listing. Pets are okay, no smoking, and only one other roommate. The apartment was in a nice area too. Without going to look at the place, König messaged the tenant to apply for the available room.

When you posted the ad, you didn’t add that you’re a woman. You didn’t want people applying just to be creeps or to get harassed. When König’s application comes in, you think it sounds too good to be true. Older man, no pets, doesn’t smoke, is military so he would be deployed for months at a time, maybe years, and willing to divide the rent 40/60, him covering the larger half, since he said he is paid well. It was an incentive König was hoping would help inspire you and make you pick him since the spot was perfect for what he needs.

Flipping back and forth between König’s application and this woman your age, you feel torn. The woman would make a fun roommate, but she is a struggling artist and you don’t want to be put in a situation where you’re paying full rent WITH a roommate.

König on the other hand, while he is a man, will be gone most of the time and is willing to pay more meaning you’d be able to set aside money and finally save some.  It’s a selfish reason, but times are hard right now.

You send back a response message to König to tell him that he’s got the room. You send him the move-in date and where to pick up the key. Instantly you get a message back saying he will be about a week late to move in but will send you the money now. You phone chimes and you see your Venmo with his portion of the rent. Feeling like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, you go back to cleaning up the apartment.

Two weeks pass and König gets back from his mission a week earlier than expected. He walks past the boxes of his belongings stacked along the wall of his office. His shoulders slumped over, exhausted from all of his recent travels. He sits at his desk, pulling off his sniper hood and opens up the email with all of the information about his new living situation. Leaning back, he lets out a deep sigh and looks at the time. Figuring it was too late he decided to wait until tomorrow to move in.

The next morning you wake up a little after 9am and make yourself breakfast. You check your emails to see if there has been any word from König. Nothing. After you eat breakfast you sit on the living room couch, wasting time. Since today is your day off you planned on getting some chores done, but you have other things on your mind.

Quickly, you stand from the couch and go to your room. Opening up your underwear drawer you grab a black bag of goodies. You open it up and pull out your favorite silicon toy before going to the kitchen sink to wash. The hot guy from your commute to work everyday comes to mind as you begin to daydream about him naked, kissing you, touching you, fucking you...

Drying off your dildo and walking back to the living room couch, you pull the throw blanket from the back of your couch and lay it down as a makeshift towel. You pull down your pants and underwear before laying back on the couch. Your fingers go to gently rub your clit while you close your eyes and begin to day dream.

Him kissing your neck lightly as his fingers circle your clit, leg twitching as you moan to him. His fingers slowly inching lower and pushing into your tight little cunt. His fingers pumping in and out quickly as he moves his lips to yours; his mouth devouring your moans. His other hand moves to your breast and begins to lightly tug at your nipple.

You open your eyes for a second and remove your fingers from your cunt and rub your arousal on the blanket underneath you. Moving your hand from your breast, you reach over and grab your dildo from the coffee table. You move yourself so you can get more comfortable, rubbing your dildo over your wet folds. Letting out a sigh, you lean back and close your eyes again.

His naked body looms over you as he rubs his erection over your wet little pussy. His hand reaches back out and begins to rub your nipple.

“You ready y/n?”

You let out a soft yes before he shoves his cock inside of you slowly, inch by inch. He begins to thrust into you quickly, the sound of your loud moans filling the room. His hand moving off of your breast so he can fuck you quicker. You reach out gripping the bedsheets and pulling them as your legs begin to tremble from his cock hitting your g-spot over and over…

König decided to only grab his duffle bag full of clothes and a few boxes for his first trip. He will be off the next few days so he has time to go back and grab his stuff, take his time moving in. He walks out to his SUV and loads up the trunk with five boxes. Sitting down, he puts the address into his GPS and begins to take off.

The building was nice, there was a park nearby and it was 40 minutes from base. That gave him a sense of privacy. He parks his SUV at the front, pulls his sniper hood off, and walks inside to go to the building manager. He welcomes König and hands him the key to the apartment that you left for him two weeks ago.

“Danke.” König takes the key and begins to walk back to his SUV to grab two boxes.

Apartment 304. König walks up the stairs and gets to his floor. He looks around the hall, doors with cute welcoming mats and small seasonal decorations giving the complex a nice homely vibe.

Your eyes still closed and hand behind your head holding on to the couch cushion as your legs are spread wide open. Your 7-inch dildo moving quickly in and out of you as you moan out, but quietly enough that the neighbors can’t hear. One of your feet moves to the coffee table to spread your legs open even more, back arching as you get close to release.

König gets to the front door, holding his boxes in one arm as he opens the front door. He hears your moans and the sound of the dildo in your pussy before you begin to squirt. His eyes glued to your pussy as he watches the impressive stream leaving you. His jaw drops and he accidently drops one of the boxes. He looks down at the box and then back up at you to see you open your eyes and look at him.

You freeze as you realize your door is open and a giant man is just standing there. You assume it’s König, but he wasn’t supposed to be here for another week. You feel as if your heart is going to explode. Your face is hot with embarrassment. Before anyone can say anything, you pull your dildo out, get up and run to the bedroom.

König stands there looking at the wet spot on the blanket and the wet mess on the floor. Your pants and underwear tossed onto the other end of the couch. He takes a deep breath and picks up the box on the ground before walking further into the apartment. He closes the door behind him and just stands there awkwardly with a boner.

You’re in your room dying of embarrassment. You don’t know what to do, you can’t face him now. Not after that. You put on underwear and pants to open your door and yell out.

“Your bedroom is the last room down the hall to the left!” Thankfully on the other side of the apartment from yours.

“Okay, thank you!” He yells back.

He walks towards his room, his eyes lingering on the mess you left behind for a moment. Finally, he makes it to his bedroom door. He opens it to see a queen size bed and two dressers. The window is letting in the bright sun. He drops his boxes on the floor and sits on the bed, looking around the room for a while.

He can’t stop replaying the scene of you squirting over and over in his mind. His hand wandered to his boner instinctively. You’re his new roommate, he doesn’t want to start the relationship off by jerking off to you. Yet, he can’t seem to stop himself as he unzips his pants and pulls them down enough to release his cock. He closes his eyes and replays your sounds and the moment over and over as he strokes his cock.

[holylulusworld]

Broken Promise (2)

Summary: Sam didn’t keep his promise.

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Girlfriend!Reader

Warnings: angst, redemption, face riding, light oral (fem rec), fluff, making up

Written for @spnkinkevents : Kinky Sam Week 2024 – Day 5: Face Riding/Fucking

SPN Kinky Sam Week Masterlist

Catch up here: Broken Promise

Three months. For three long and painful months, you are gone. Sam is missing you like hell, and it drives him crazy that you don’t answer his calls.

“Sammy, you need to stop doing this,” Dean huffs. “You reek, and your face—” He grins while poking his brother’s bearded cheek with his index finger, “a tragedy.”

“Leave me alone,” Sam snaps back. “If you didn’t get me drunk, she’d be still around. It’s all your fault. You had to brag about your girlfriend and call Y/N a mouse.”

Dean crosses his arms over his chest and huffs. “It’s not my fault you talked about your sex life. I didn’t ask you questions about Y/N and her preference in the bedroom. Too much information, dude.”

“I lost her—” Sam wipes his face. “How can I move on if I just lost the love of my life.”

Dean opens his mouth and closes it. He never thought Sam would anyone call the love of his life but Jess, or maybe Amelia.

“What if we visit her at her friend’s place? I explain that it was my fault and that I got you drunk,” Dean offers his help without hesitation. “Come on, Sammy. It’s your birthday and I want to help you get your girl back.”

Sam shakes his head. “She won’t see me, Dean.”

“Did you already try?” quirking a brow Dean looks at his brother. Sam shakes his head again. “Coward.”

“What?”

“You’re a coward,” Dean grunts. “If you love that woman so much you will shower, dress in fresh clothes and get your shit together. Do whatever is needed to get her back. Go on your knees, beg and plead if you must!”

“Dean…”

“Don’t come up with more excuses,” the elder brother hisses. “You will do as I say. I’m still your elder brother. Now, move your ass or I’ll punch you for being a coward.”

“No,” you refuse to talk to Dean. “I don’t want to see you ever again, Winchester”

“Good,” Dean grins. “If you don’t want to see me,” he steps aside and pushes Sam toward you, “you can talk to this guy.”

“HEY! WAIT!” You grunt. “That’s not what I mean, Dean Winchester. Get back here.” You yell while Dean walks toward his car.

“You wanted me gone, sweetheart,” Dean snickers before he gets into his car. “You can’t change your mind all the time.”

“DEAN!” 

“Uh-hi,” Sam shuffles on his feet. “Look I know you are still mad and hurt.” He sniffs and tries to find the right words. “I just wanted you to know that you are the best girlfriend in the world and the love of my life. I messed up because I wanted to brag for once too.”

“Sam,” you drop your gaze and shake your head. 

“Do you…hate me now?” 

You lift your head to get a good look at your boyfriend. He looks tired. A thick bear frames his face for the first time since you met Sam.

“You’ve got a beard now.”

He hums, unsure if you are mad at him for not shaving before coming here. “I should’ve shaved,” he ruefully says. “Dean didn’t give me more time.”

“Hmm…” you glance at his beard, hands twitching while Sam tries to find a way to win you over. “It looks soft.”

Sam blinks a few times. He wonders if he got you wrong. “I don’t know. I haven’t touched it.”

You suddenly grab his face to feel his beard. “Soft but scratchy,” you murmur. “Not bad…not at all.”

“Y/N, can we talk,” Sam tries to get your attention, but you are busy feeling his beard up. “Baby?”

“I know it’s your birthday today,” you drop your hands and grab his wrist, “but I want you to make things up to me before you’ll get your gift.”

“How?” 

You smirk. Sam is one of the smartest people you ever met, but sometimes he’s just dull when it comes to understanding a hint. 

“You know how,” you tug at his wrist and guide him inside your friend’s house. “My friend is out of town for the rest of the week…”

“Fuck, that’s it,” you grip the headboard tighter and throw your head back as Sam works your thrumming clit with his skilled tongue. 

Sam finally caught up with the meaning of your words and decided to worship you the best way possible – offering his face as a throne to you.

“Shit…I’m gonna,” you gasp loudly feeling the pressure get too much. You soak Sam’s face and his beard, earning a deep growl from him. “Sorry…that was…”

You get off your throne, worriedly looking down at Sam. 

“Fuck, you squired for me, kitten,” he grins dopily. “Wow! I never made a woman squirt before. That was…amazing, baby. Never apologize for being amazing and goddamn sexy.”

“If,” you grab his face to press a kiss on his lips, “you tell Dean about this, tell him it tasted like heaven.” You smirk against his lips. 

“I won’t…I swear.”

“You better not or you won’t get your birthday gift, Samuel Winchester…”

Tags in reblog.

[baddestbittyontheblock]

april fic recs

✦ dividers by @cinnamoncafe, @saradika-graphics, @thecutestgrotto, @silkholland ✦

𖤛 hi everyone!! i've read so many great fics this month, so i hope you all enjoy my faves of april!! 𖤛

⚘ remember to like and reblog the works you enjoy in order to support each incredible writer!! ⚘

֍ however, make sure you read the information on each story themselves such as triggers & warnings ֍

◈ if you’d like me to remove your fic from this list, message me! ◈

f1

lewis hamilton

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 it sounds silly by @pickingupmymercedes lewis hamilton x reader | bit of angst, self image problems, body image discussions

-reader is struggling with a self image issue and where lewis gives words of encouragement

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 lewis drabble by ^ lewis hamilton x reader

-lewis where he casually mentions in his gq interview that he has a longtime gf or wife.

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 lewis blurb by ^ lewis hamilton x reader

-reader comes home drunk and Lewis reacts to seeing roscoe with those marks next morning

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 pipe down by @thef1diary lewis hamilton x fem!reader | 18+ smut, oral, fingering, reader says ‘sir’ like once, pussy obsessed lewis tbh, allusions to riding

-you were straddling lewis, stripped down to nothing but your panties.

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 unexpected find by @waterlilydrops lewis hamilton x fem!reader | 18+ only, nsfw, explicit sex content, threesome f/f/m involved lewis, sex tape, reverse NTR, p in v sex, masturbation(f), slight dom/bub,spanking, dirty talk, blowjobs, mirror. If you feel uncomfortable, please exit promptly, 4k

-as you were helping lewis tide up the old apartment, you suddenly found out a video tape. however, as you inserted it into the vcr and pressed play, you realized just how interesting the content of this tape was.

lando norris

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 dad!lando blurb by @russellsppttemplates dad!lando norris x reader | fluff

-lando posting or sending his family pictures of his milk drunk babies because he thinks it is the cutest/funniest thing

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 lando blurb by ^ lando norris x reader | fluff

-reader always forgets or looses hair ties and lando noticed this so he started to always wear one on his wrist for her

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 what i'm missing by @uglyducklingofthe2000s dad!lando norris x reader | fluff

-lando comes home from a race weekend to find his wife and kids in a moment that makes him wish that he wasn’t gone so often.

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 my boobs by ^ big yitties!reader x lando norris x reader

-lando loves his girlfriend's boobs and she's just got used to him in private and public, in fact half of the time others notice before she does

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 the slip up by @loveluvrs lando norris x reader

-max was streaming with lando at his place. lando drags his feet over to the stream room, sitting on a chair next to max. he was scrolling on his phone, trying to pass the time. 

carlos sainz

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 cooking up some fun with the sainz’ by @eccentricwritingbaby dad!carlos sainz jr x wife!mom!reader | fluff

-y/n sainz is a successfully famous chef with her own restaurant and ever since covid, she has been cooking on instagram live once a week. fans adore the sweet interactions between her and carlos and their little baby girl. 

tlou

ellie williams

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 ellie drabble by @elliesprettygirl ellie williams x reader | fluff

-ellie desperate for reader but reader is always acting hard to get just for their ego. but ellie doesn’t back down..

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 ellie blurb by @ourautumn86 ellie williams x fem! reader | +18 content, mdni

-she tries to shush you but you’re scratching her naked back and it feels so good…

woso

alexia putellas

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 the mountain is you by @ceesimz alexia putellas x reader

-barcelona. once a place that felt like home to you, yet now as you clamber into the back of your taxi outside of the airport, it's the same but different.

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 golden key to the sweet life by ^ mom!alexia putellas x mom!reader | fluff

-there was something intoxicatingly endearing about the way alexia interacted and whole-heartedly cared for her family and friends' children.

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 our sun is setting by ^ alexia putellas x reader | mentions of homophobia and grief for a parent. It's quite a heavy fic, please keep that in mind.

-"i told my mami about you today."

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 close your eyes by @ktgoodmorning alexia putellas x reader | mind-numbingly fluffy, inspired by the song "close your eyes and count to ten" by grouplove

-you and alexia take a moment to yourselves on your wedding night, soaking in your time together.

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 familia by @barcaatthemoon alexia putellas x reader | fluff

-how alexia realizes that you're the one.

alessia russo

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 make yourself at home by @p0orbaby alessia russo x reader | SMUT 18+, not explicit but smut adjacent, oral (alessia receiving)

-all you want is a quiet night in with alessia, and tooney?

call of duty

simon riley

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 simon blurb by @cntloup simon riley x reader | smut

-it's safe to say simon is utterly and completely devoted to you. 

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 ghost losing his ring by @ch1n1tahwrites simon riley x reader | fluff

-he was just coming back from a long mission, awaiting to be in his wifes arms in his big comfy bed.

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 tommy by @simonrileysfavteacup simon riley x reader | fluff

-he came out looking exactly like his father. he acted exactly like him. he didn’t sleep, he had nightmares too often, he loved watching telly, he wouldn’t sleep without you near him, and so much more. 

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 the next of kin by @soapybutt17 simon "ghost" riley x wife!reader, oc daughter (cassandra "cassie" riley), john price | mentions of injuries, drug consumption, slight angst, mostly fluff, 1.6k

-simon needed to update his contact information, as dodgy as he was for giving everyone even a glimpse of his private life, he did so. who would have ever thought that it would become handy after an injury left him high on painkillers and needy for his girls back home.

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 like mother, like daughter by @anangelwhodidntfall  dad!simon riley x reader

-in which you and ghost have a baby girl who loves to copy your facial expressions

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 olderbf!simon by @heavenbarnes simon riley x reader | fluff

-thinking about your older bf!simon that cannot cope with being far from you.

celebrities

harry styles

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 that 4am cry by @signoferoda dad!harry styles x mom!reader | fluff

-harry’s daughter has a set routine when it comes to her night time feed

[howtotwirlaknife22]

Lush

David “Hesh” Walker X F!reader

Synopsis: The Ghosts go out for a drink after a particularly hard mission, and the reader quickly learns how much of her liquor she can really hold as she takes a liking to Hesh throughout the night.

⚠️Warnings: Alcohol use, suggestive themes, cannon typical violence

AN: Reader can be imagined as anyone, no specific features will be described! Also, for the sake of the story we’re not setting this in any particular timeline within the ghosts campaign.

The team had just returned back home after a particularly stressful recon mission. They had been sent out to gather information on an enemy company that was rumored to have been working with the federation for illegal weapons trade. Things quickly went south when they arrived and realized that the federation was in fact working with them, and were prepared to guard their supply tooth and nail. They all made it out by the skin of their teeth but had managed to snag a key piece of information off of one of the files from the federation’s archives. Once their extraction had arrived, Keegan, one of the senior members of the team, had suggested they all go out for drinks as a way to celebrate a stressful job well done and relax a little. They had all agreed and had decided to take an hour to shower, change, and freshen up before they all went out. In your room, you had showered and changed into the most comfortable but stylish clothes you had available and looked at yourself in the mirror. You took a deep breath and let it out, relaxing the tension in your jaw and letting your shoulders relax. The mission could have gone haywire easily, not to mention that you could have died if Hesh, one of the newer members of the team, hadn’t pulled you out of the line of enemy fire after you had taken a piece of shrapnel to the leg. You looked down at your bandaged leg and cringed. While the wound wasn’t serious, it still served as a reminder of what could have happened. You reminded yourself to buy a drink for Hesh as a way to say thank you later tonight. This wasn’t the first time he had saved you, far from it. You were the newest member of the Ghosts, and on your very first mission you hadn’t checked your flank properly and were almost ambushed by an enemy soldier before Hesh stepped in and took him down before he could get to you. Now he’s saved your ass a second time.

“Gonna have to start keeping score.”

Hesh joked with you as you were flown back to base. He elbowed you gently as he said this, giving you that wolfish grin with a glint of amusement in his eyes. you couldn’t help but blush, thanking the regulated mask for covering your face in that moment. You couldn’t deny that he was ruggedly handsome and incredibly charming, but you also knew intermingling with other soldiers on your team was often frowned upon. Especially In a high profile team like the Ghosts. You quickly shook any thoughts of the past missions and strange feelings from your head as you finished getting ready, giving yourself a once over in the mirror a final time before grabbing your things and stepping out of the confines of your room to meet up with the rest of the team at the chosen bar.

Once you arrived, you stood at the entrance of the bar scanning it for your teammates. You knew they might not recognize you right away out of your gear so you stood there for a moment to take in the activities going on in the bar. It was a standard dive, it had a few pool tables and booths, as well as a few areas to play darts. You noticed a man and a woman chatting at the bar, both of their knees turned towards one another as they spoke in low voices, faces close to one another. You felt your heart ache. It had been a while since you had been in a relationship, or even just a hookup for that matter. You felt the need for companionship, yet being away on missions every two to three weeks made maintaining a stable relationship hard. You heard a voice call out your name, and you snapped your head in the direction. You noticed Hesh had called out to you, and you smiled as you approached the booth your team was sitting at. Hesh chuckled. “Almost didn’t recognize you for a second there. I think this is the first time I’ve seen you out of your gear.” He paused for a second to let his eyes rake over your form. “You look good.” He gave you a wolfish grin and gestured for you to take a seat inside the booth, right next to Logan who had been sitting next to Hesh. You smiled back at him, giving him a shy ‘thanks’ in response. You slid into the booth as everyone greeted you, Keegan speaking up first. “Hey there kid. You feeling alright?” He asked kindly. He knew the mission was a little rough on everyone, but since you were still so new, he wanted to check in. “Yeah..just tired.” You responded with a small smile. “I’ll bet.” He said as he took a sip of his whiskey. Merrick chimed in “don’t get comfy though. This is just the start of a long career of feeling tired. All the damn time.” Merrick sipped on his beer as the rest of the team chuckled at this, including you. Hesh leaned down next to you from his standing position, getting dangerously close to your face. You could smell the scent of his body wash and a light spritz of cologne on him as he spoke. “You want a drink? On me.” He smiled sweetly and you could barely contain the blush beginning to form on your cheeks. “Yeah, that would actually be really nice.” Hesh nodded. “Pick your poison.” You told him your favorite drink and he cocked an eyebrow in amusement. “What?” You asked curiously. “Nothing, I just didn’t think you’d like that kind of stuff.” He nudged you playfully. You smirked back at him. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” You felt your cheeks heat up even more. That was quite bold of you, and you hadn’t even started drinking yet. Hesh raised his eyebrows in surprise, then smirked back. “I’d love to find out more..” with that, he left you to go and retrieve your drink from the bar. You had a dopey smile and turned back to the rest of the group, but Logan caught her eye first. Logan raised an eyebrow playfully at you. “What?” You said, already knowing what he was thinking. “Y’know he used to pick his nose when we were kids right? And one time he ate a worm as a dare when we were teenagers.” You grimaced and shoved his arm playfully. “Oh shut it. It’s not even like that…he’s just being polite and getting me a drink.” Logan chuckled “yeah, how many other girls do you think he’s done that for? Cause I can guarantee it’s not as many as you’re thinking. Trust me, he sees something in you.” Logan was speaking in a low voice as the rest of the team chatted amongst themselves, and you looked over at the bar as Hesh leaned against it, watching the bartender make your drink for you. You smiled gently and turned back to Logan. “You really think so?” Logan nodded. “Yeah, I know so.” You couldn’t help the thoughts running wild through your head, but those were cut short when you had a realization. “That’s all good, but…” you paused and Logan cocked an eyebrow at you. “..but I don’t think we could make it work the way I’d want it to..”you sighed. “Team relationships can end brutally. I mean, what if one of us gets hurt? Or what if we end up hating one another?”

Logan paused and thought about it for a moment before you continued on. “And what happens if our superiors find out?” You spoke even quieter as you gestured to Merrick and Keegan as they talked with Kick. Logan turned back to you with a solemn look on his face. “It’s just a part of the risk, I guess. But hey, I don’t think that either of them would-“ he was cut off abruptly as Hesh returned to the booth, setting your drink down in front of you as well as a new one for himself. You turned to him and gave him a small smile, taking the drink and beginning to sip on it. The liquor hit your throat and you slowly started to feel the relief washing over you. You were happy the conversation was cut short, but you still couldn’t shake off the thought of what it could be like to be with someone on your team, and with someone like Hesh nonetheless. You were ripped from your thoughts as Kick spoke up, proposing a drinking game for you everyone. “Okay, who’s up for some darts? Person who scores the worst has to take 3 tequila shots back to back, no chaser.” He had a mischievous smirk on his face and the rest of the team all chimed in in agreement. Hesh looked at you and smiled. “Whaddya say? You up for a little friendly competition?” He gave you that same charming smile you keep falling for, and you melted into agreement. “You’re on. But..” you knew you didn’t drink often, and although you were a hell of a long range sniper, you had always been pretty piss poor at darts. Hesh raised an eyebrow at you as you contemplated the game. You shook your head, shaking the thought off. “Nevermind. You’re on!” You downed your drink, feeling confident with your liquid courage coursing through your system. As the night went on, you had had two more mixed drinks as you went up head to head against Keegan and Logan at darts. Hesh watched on in admiration, and you felt hot to the touch knowing his eyes were on you. You were shocked at how well you had faired against the two other men, knowing how awful you usually are. Maybe it was the drinks in your system that made you bold, or maybe you were finally starting to feel in place with your team. Hesh walked up to you as Logan moved up to shoot his dart, and he put a hand on your shoulder gently. You looked up to him and gave him a drunken smile. You reveled in his warm touch. He smiled back at you. “You’re kicking Kick’s ass at this game.” You giggled. “I’m shocked…I’m usually horrible at darts.” Hesh chuckled, taking a sip of his beer and looking at your empty glasses on the table. “You’re winning against Kick so far, but you better keep the winning streak up. You lose and those drinks might take you out for a bit.” You laughed out loud a little louder than you meant to, but you couldn’t care less. You were having fun. Hesh laughed along with you, and he stared at you with a certain fondness that you recognized the man and the woman sitting at the bar staring at each other with. Your already flushed face seemed hotter the longer he stared at it, and it was your turn to shoot again as Kick slammed a dart down in front of you. “I forfeit.” He grumbled as he sat down. He pouted, looking like a defeated child. You chuckled quietly. “Aww what’s the matter? Was I beating you too much?” Kick scoffed. “Of course that’s why. Can’t have my pride getting hurt. I’ll take my loss and take 3 shots on my own. YOU however…better hope you can beat Keegan and Logan.” He smirked as he sauntered off to the bar to order his defeat shots. You turned to Hesh and smiled at him. “Easy peasy.” You gave him a wink and picked up the dart, aiming at the board with one eye. You threw it and it missed, by a long shot, onto the wall beside the board. You giggled and turned back to Hesh, who shook his head at you. “Looks like someone’s getting carried home.” You felt bold and placed a hand on his chest, pressing against him. “By who, you?” You smirked at him. “Wouldn’t be too bad, if you ask me..” Hesh raised his eyebrows in surprise and then his face quickly contorted into a devilish smile. “Yeah?”

He cooed as he placed a hand on the small of your back. You nodded along happily and practically melted into his gentle touch, basking in the warmth he was holding. Keegan and Logan had already shot their shots, and now it was time for the final round. Logan noticed how Hesh was holding you and he smiled to himself as he came to hand you the darts. “You ready to lose?” He chuckled as you shot him a grimace. “In your-dreams..” you hiccuped a little as you spoke and took the dart from him, dropping it for a second before you bent down to pick it up again. Your functions were a little off and you felt as though you might tip over at any given moment. Hesh stepped in and put a hand on your hip, leaning in closer to your ear. “C’mere..” he moved you in front of the dart board and kept one hand placed gently on your hip, the other hand coming up to raise your arm holding the dart up by the elbow. You felt the heat rising to your cheeks and ears once again as he whispered in your ear sweetly. “Alright, now just…shoot” he let go of your arm and stepped back, leaning against a table with his arms crossed as he observed you with a smile. You smiled back at him and turned towards the board, aiming with concentration. You threw the dart, and missed yet again. Only this time the dart did hit the very edge of the board. You groaned and turned back around towards Keegan and Logan, who were giving you cocky smirks. “Alright…gimmie.” You stumbled over to the table as they set down a round of shots for you to take in shame, and you sighed as you grabbed a hold of the first one, knocking it back quickly. Hesh chuckled beside you. “Bummer. But hey, at least I’ll get to carry you home now, right?” Once you took the shot down you made a face and then turned to him with a smile. “R-right..” you take another shot and grimace as the stark liquid went down. You began to feel your surroundings wave and you giggled drunkenly as you sat on one of the bar stools. You got back up again, and the men around the table laughed at you as you took the final shot. Keegan piped up. “You feeling alright kid? You don’t strike me as a regular drinker, and tequila will knock you on your ass.” You laughed at this response and shook your head. “Noooo…I’m fine!” Logan and Hesh chuckled and Hesh placed an arm around your shoulders. “Alright, let’s move things back to the booth. Might be best if you sit down for a second.” He brought you to the booth and sat you down, before he turned to leave for a second. “I’ll get you some water.” You suddenly grabbed his arm and he turned around to face you. Your cheek was on his arm as you gripped onto it for dear life. “Noooooo…don’t leave..” you looked up at him with puppy eyes and he couldn’t help but cave in and stay. He looked at Logan and Logan rolled his eyes but went to go and retrieve some water from the bar for you. Hesh sat back down and smiled at your drunken state. “You really have a hard time holding your liquor huh? Lush.” He teased, and you giggled as you hugged his arm and placed your chin on his shoulder. “You’re t-the lush…” you muttered out at you stared up at him with glassy eyes. God, you wanted to kiss him. You were feeling so confident with it. But you couldn’t physically bring yourself to do it. Hesh felt his heartstrings getting plucked and he couldn’t deny that he loved having your arms wrapped around his bicep. You couldn’t help but squeeze them, feeling the tight muscle underneath his jacket. Hesh raised an eyebrow and chuckled “you enjoying yourself?” You sighed and shot him a dopey smile. “Oh, definitely..”

Hesh knew it would be a long night, but he’d be there beside you no matter what. Besides, he’d have fun teasing you and seeing your face turn red when you’re sobered up.

“Good.”

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Taglist: @forsworned @blacktacmopsi @milkteaarttime

A/N: wow this took 5ever…but I hope ya’ll enjoy! Just some slight fluff for now, lmk what you think and any pointers! :)

[enaelyork]

This is all we are, a product of war I [Part I]

[PreWar Cooper Howard x F! War photographer reader]

Prompt

After her dramatic photo which won the World Photography Award, Y/N is propelled to the rank of essential war photographer. What could be more normal, then, than that the New York Times sent her to the Alaskan front to cover a decisive turning point in the war? If she is ready to face the hostility of the battlefield, she is much less prepared to fight Cooper Howard and his hostility, as well as everything that this meet will provoke.

Discl: Fallout fanfic in 2 volume : During the Sion War (I) and one year before the Great war(II). Eight years between the volume I & II.

Tw & others: 18+ / Angst / Violence / Slow burn / Before and after Barbs ('cause i like her) / Fluff / English not my native speak

Words : 1.9 k

Chapters navigation : 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6

Tag list : @ghcstvibess , @thebumbqueen

You can ask for tag in comment ;)

She is dead.

I made her immortal.

Her face hanging above mine, the thin smile playing on her lips as her eyes close for good. An angel. That's what I thought as I held up the lens under her blank gaze. An angel who flew through the bullets and the screams. Her body collapsed on top of mine just after catching that last glimmer inside her.

Then nothing. Silence, nothingness.

Me, alive. She, dead.

Maybe because I made the wrong choice at the wrong time.

I don't think about it, I don't think about it anymore. At least, I try. The world looks at me as the one who symbolized in a single photo the horror of war. Others - most - believe that I took death as an opportunity to rise above the world.

But they don't know anything. They will never know.

-So, are you the photographer?

I raise my head towards my colleague. Inside a military truck that agreed to take us with them, there is a mortuary silence, almost as cold as the environment in which we have been operating for weeks. I guess from his accent that he is not American and that he crossed the Atlantic to follow the last decisive round of the conflict. As we all.

-You and I are the same.

-I can't believe you're here, next to me.

- I'm James Ford, The Telegraph. Your photo has gone around the world, my dear. Are you here to repeat your success?

He offers me a hand that I don't want to take, out of politeness I return his greeting before avoiding his gaze. Around us, the soldiers give us glances, sometimes bad, sometimes intrigued, often revolted.

There is nothing worse for them than hearing us talk about our business. Because that's the real problem.

War is our livelihood.

Each of us feeds off their misfortunes and perhaps most of them despise us for that very reason.

-It seems that things are completely in shambles on this part of the front, that your country is on the verge of losing the war, do you know more? I shake my head.

Of course I know more than I want to tell him. But our job is not to pass information on to a rival. It's about doing something with what you have, producing a report that holds up without needing anyone's help.

He thinks he is going to the decisive stage of the conflict, but I know that I am going to the place of our perdition.

The Bible was wrong. Hell is not just made of flames and demons. It is sometimes wet, windy and freezing. Full of humans ready to kill each other for a cause whose source they have forgotten.

-We stop here, terminus.

The marines barely glance at us when we get out of the truck, entering the polar atmosphere of the camp for good. It only takes a few seconds for a discerning eye to understand that nothing is at stake here, except the little pride these soldiers have left. Wrapped up in my anorak emblazoned with the word press, I take the risk of taking off my gloves to capture a few photos of these men consumed by despair.

Then I saw him.

He was getting out of a truck coming from the combat zones, carrying at point blank range one of his comrades who was visibly in poor condition. The desolation with which he tried to keep him alive gripped me to the core of my being, because that is exactly what I felt that day.

So, after taking a few steps, without greeting my colleague who was already moving away to the other side of the camp, I caught my reflex.

And I took a photo of him. Several times.

First I took an overview. Him and his makeshift companion, on the ground. Him, his hand outstretched towards a group of soldiers running with a stretcher. Him again, a zoom on his features carved in rock, his helmet held firmly on his head by a strap which dug into his skin. Him. His eyes of a color that the zoom could not define perfectly. A strange mixture of caramel and hazelnut. A warmth emanating from his gaze contrasting violently with the ambient cold.

Jostled by a soldier, I interrupt my session considering the chaos reigning around me. My journalistic gear immunizes me against the violence and animosity of the fighters; better still, they must guarantee my safety while some dream of killing me. It is therefore like a ghost that I advance towards the tent into which the soldiers have entered, haunting a place where everyone is unaware of my presence.

-I'm sorry, there was nothing we could do.

The soldier's shoulders slump when a doctor walks towards him, not even bothering to take off his gloves to give him a futile hug. Everyone here knows that one gesture won't replace any deaths, but they're trying hard to keep things warm.

One more photo.

That's what I'm for. Not just to show the horror, but to make people feel all the emotions that result from it. The sadness freezes on the memory card forever while the event floats away in a flood of torment that only peace can dry up.

It was at this precise moment that he became aware of my presence.

He gave me that look in the face like a slap.

A look that had, for a brief moment, bypassed all the barriers I had erected around me to feel nothing other than indifference. I was screwed, but I didn't know it yet.

-Are you okay, did ya get your pic?

Much more fascinating with your mouth closed.

- Would you have started again if that wasn't the case?

I realize I'm going too far. Sometimes I forget that my defenses are not those of others and that it still happens here that someone has feelings.

-Sorry, I shouldn't have. I am…

-No need to make introductions. I know exactly who you are.

Amazing. He knows who I am AND he hates me.

-Nice to meet you, Captain Howard. You and your obvious sympathy.

He didn't want to argue, that was understandable, but something pushed me to follow him when he turned his back on me to go to another compartment of the tent. He knew my name and hadn't even introduced himself, reason enough to convince me that I had scented the right target.

Like a snake, I had slipped into a corner of the room, ignoring the looks that instinctively turned towards me before returning to their main point of interest: a large makeshift table where a map of the region was placed. I have no military training, but what I saw there was not a shadow of a doubt.

We were going to lose.

It was there, between the pawns strictly aligned to the north of our position. The reds were going to get us and it was only a matter of time. It was for this reason that I was here, to see my country fall to its knees in front of it stronger than it for the first time in its history.

-We have to hold on until the new armor prototypes arrive. said a visibly exhausted general. So they have to be there within a week, maximum.

Howard remained profoundly silent, his gaze fixed on the table. Strange attitude for someone I thought was rather angry and nervous. He clung to this map as if persisting would allow him to detect the flaw, where no hope remains.

-I suggest we try for a breakthrough here. Continued a visibly confident captain.

This suggestion drew immediate ire from the main protagonist of my report.

-A breakthrough ? he replied, acidly.

-If we manage to progress this far, it will take us little time to act after delivery of the prototypes. We will take the reds by surprise and turn the tide.

-We still need to have the necessary soldiers for this. I lost half of my men in the last attempt.

The observation plunged the room into silence. It was just a polite way of telling him that a man here was just gunpowder. He understood it perfectly because I saw his eyes clouded with bitterness. His helmet removed, I discovered a man of war-worn beauty.

-We can provide you with men, Howard. Captain Brendol puts forward an idea that should not be overlooked.

It had darkened, again, I could see the depth of his distress from where I stood and it was sucking me in, literally.

-Cooper. I can hear that the situation is confusing you, but you're going to have to go back.

-So are we there? Bet on a hypothetical prototype whose real delivery date is unknown ?

-It's an order, Captain Howard. Gather what's left of your corp and we'll provide you with what you're missing. You leave tomorrow.

The discussion was over. The general packs up his things and Captain Brendol gives Howard a triumphant smile. He's the kind of man who likes to show off by proposing suicidal ideas, but not courageous enough to carry them through to the end. There was now only me left in the room.

And him, too, him and his hazel eyes that pinned me to the wall.

-You want to come with us, right? He had swept everything away. His resentment, his fears too, all of that had waltzed away the very moment the order was pronounced. Yet he didn't follow the others, content to stand there and consider me a negligible garbage.

-That's the idea, indeed.

-And it's bad. I'm not going to explain to you wha' you might see there, your mouth will water.

-Too late for that. You already make me dream.

His hand lands on the table next to us and his eyes focus on me like two knives trying to tear me apart. I jumped in spite of myself at the violence of his gesture and his intact will despite the fatigue that stretched his features. He still believes in it, I thought, and if I wasn't so captivated by his will, I would have taken a photo of him

-I think there are things the world shouldn't see.

-And I think just the opposite. I don't think they'll miss a thing.

I stayed there, clinging to my reflex with the firm intention of not giving up any piece of land to this man. It made me wonder which of us was more accustomed to war and who was going to win the one we had just declared. I probably exaggerated my initial intention a little to provoke him a bit more, which was not the idea of ​​the century when you had to find a place among soldiers at the end of their nerves.

But I feared nothing: he could not forbid me from following them. And he knew that just as much as I did.

-Do what you want. But I don't babysit. Me and my men will have other fish to fry to save your skin. But scavengers like you, people who take photos of those who die to win trophies, know that, don't they?

It was in this way, by literally sticking a knife in my heart, that he permanently sealed our lives. Because I will never forget Cooper Howard again, and not just for the meanness he showed towards me from the moment he laid eyes on me.

[vickyvicarious]

(In order to not derail op's thread, and jic they've not finished reading the books, hope this is ok) The madness/mental illness discussion between Laura and Jonathan made me think about the in-between of Jonathan leaving the hospital and then being validated!

One thing is, pre-Hawkins death, Mina states to Lucy that Jonathan has been working hard, but that he is weak still and placid, and also that he has nightmares. It tells on them both, because Mina cannot get a full night's sleep due to him waking up screaming and she needs to soothe him. Journal aside, Mina says she is so worried about his nerves that she doesn't communicate with him about how tired she is herself. It reminds me of Walter wanting to protect Laura from distress.

Post-Hawkins death, Jonathan gets worse. "He says the amount of responsibility which it puts upon him makes him nervous. He begins to doubt himself. I try to cheer him up, and my belief in him helps him to have a belief in himself. But it is here that the grave shock that he experienced tells upon him the most. Oh, it is too hard that a sweet, simple, noble, strong nature such as his—a nature which enabled him by our dear, good friend’s aid to rise from clerk to master in a few years—should be so injured that the very essence of its strength is gone."

Not a very traditionally ''manful'' picture, but Mina never goes there. Still, he throws himself into work. Mina says her belief in him helps Jonathan believe in himself. Maybe Laura would have benefited from being believed in.

What prompts Walter to do something drastic is when Laura weeps in her sleep. What prompts Mina to break the seal later is when Jonathan faints in public and loses the memory of it.

The way Mina treats Lucy and Jonathan in illness seems equal. She keeps their secrets upon their request too. Walter and Mina take similar active roles for their spouses, though Mina isn't necessarily masculine for it.

An interesting imho comparison could also be when Mina chooses to consult Van Helsing while Jonathan is away for his first work trip and how they communicate throughout it, and Walter with the sisters.

Aside, when she asks Van Helsing to help Jonathan, he says, "I promise you that I will gladly do all for him that I can—all to make his life strong and manly, and your life a happy one." Van Helsing promises to make his life manly, though Mina had asked to make him "well again". So he kind of made it about gender, though it wasn't for Mina.

(I also wonder if we can call Jonathan ''cured'' really, as he doesn't actually return to his former self, but it'd get too long!)

(Tagging @animate-mush because the WIW substack has ended now, hopefully you're all caught up... but regardless no spoilers past where we were last week.)

Anon, you sum up my thoughts incredibly well: "Maybe Laura would have benefited from being believed in."

I think that is perhaps the most major difference between the recovery period for the two of them. Because while they both have remarkably similar symptoms, and both their spouses hide stuff from them for a while... when things come to a head Mina chooses to believe in Jonathan. Not just in supporting him as he goes back to work (which you're right, he has little choice about doing - an external gendered element there, where societal pressures/norms mean Jonathan kind of has to get to work and Laura is never expected to at all); Mina trusts Jonathan with information, with an important role in what follows.

There's obvious contextual differences. Jonathan knew he could access his lost memories and explicitly didn't want to unless it was necessary. He put the power to decide that in Mina's hands (and it was his request but still her choice to share in his ignorance until she needed more information). When she reads his journal, she's trying to better help him within parameters they have both agreed to. When she eventually tells him everything is true, she's trusting that this will be validating for him and help him heal, help him be more "well again" (though you're right both that he never returns to his former self, and that Van Helsing is the only one who brings gender into it with his assumption that Mina's looking to make Jonathan more manly).

Laura never had an equivalent - both in terms of a discussion with the ones leaving her out for the sake of her mental health, and in the sense of some record she knows she can fall back on. She didn't have a hidden journal when she was being drugged or in the asylum. Most of the information Walter and Marian gather is from other people.

I think there is a period where both Jonathan and Laura have information hidden from them for their own sake. And I don't think that was inherently wrong or anything; in fact I think it was somewhat needed. Jonathan got the chance to explicitly ask for that period of ignorance. We don't quite have any such dialogue from Laura, but the narration still tells us that there were certain topics that were very confusing to her or which she didn't like to linger on (and her experience with Mr. Fairlie even after getting out of the asylum can't have helped), and there's that scene where she says she will "try to get better", showing recognition of how unwell she currently is. I think they both need this time to focus on recovering, and their spouses/loved ones want to support them so they can do so. Again, the societal gender role divides them here: Jonathan has to work and in fact has to take on new/more challenging work, while Laura doesn't and can devote more time to rest and recovery. There's benefits and drawbacks to both of those, in my mind. Jonathan got support from Mina and reassurance that she (and Mr. Hawkins) believed in him, which was helpful. On the other hand, it stressed him out more and he was still suffering from his nightmares, etc. Laura got more time to take it easy without having other stress added on, which was helpful. But on the other hand, she didn't get the same level of trust and belief in her ability to, if not 'return to normal,' at least to be productive and helpful in some way.

Yeah, I'm talking about her drawings. I think that is where the big divide comes. Because when she wants to contribute and help with the household, Walter decides to lie to her and play-act that she is bringing in money. I get that he's trying to avoid letting her stress over money, but it feels so condescending. He's treating her like a child rather than being honest with her - right after she asks him not to treat her like a child. Maybe being honest would just be telling her that she's not well enough to work/that it wouldn't be safe, and that he has the money handled. Maybe they'd come up with some other way she could chip in. At least she'd be involved in the discussion as she clearly wanted to be. And while I don't think she would be involved in the hunting down different accounts or confrontations that follow at the end of the book any more than Marian was, I think they should have told her what was going on. That doesn't necessarily mean giving her all the nitty gritties especially if they're triggering to her; but giving her the chance to speak for herself, to add her thoughts, even to ask to be left out if she thinks she can't handle it. She never gets that. There's no reevaluation later on.

Both Jonathan and Laura were denied validation in a way that made them doubt their sanity. Jonathan's experiences were supernatural and he fears he lost his mind. Laura was lied to and gaslit about her own identity, outright told she was suffering from delusions. Revealing that the supernatural things he remember are real was validating for Jonathan in itself, even as he still had all the accompanying trauma. Laura's (official/public) validation isn't possible until after the villains are defeated and everything is over, which in a sense stretches out that middle period. Similarly, Jonathan getting the information leads right into him getting a change to assuage his feelings of guilt and seek revenge, which could be cathartic for him. Laura probably wouldn't have the same opportunities or even desire to do so, and so maybe looping her in wouldn't have been as helpful. But it feels cruel to me never to give her the option. After a certain point, it's no longer just trying to spare her from distress, but it feels like believing she isn't capable of handling any at all.

I guess that's what feels most gendered to me. Walter, and to an extent Marian too, don't treat Laura like an adult or an equal after her experience. This does happen throughout the book, but it gets so much more egregious after she's rescued from the asylum. Marian talks about women/is kind of treated like an exception to women in general, and Walter is leaving both women out in key moments. So given how women were typically seen as less capable, to me it feels somewhat bound up in that rather than just being about her specifically (I think she handles/is capable of a lot more than she's given credit for). Mina doesn't do really that, she doesn't really bring gender into her treatment of either Jonathan or Lucy in the same way. And while others in Dracula do, it's shown to be more of a mistake.

[strangeasexuallegume]

Therapy questionnaire: How have you been feeling in the past two weeks?

Me: I don’t remember two weeks ago

[front-facing-pokemon]

[sprout-fics]

(you can ignore this if your not comfortable I totally understand) buttttt fix returning to the team after being captured, tortured etc

Hey anon quit looking at my drafts

[mimbotomy]

I'm sorry to hear that planning has been stressful, but best wishes this Saturday!!! I'm so excited for you and your wedding and your marriage and wish you every happiness 💕.

Thank you! I am very excited too! Mostly because I get to marry the love of my life 🩷🩷🩷 but also because there are only four days left and judging from my track record this last month that means I will probably have to deal with🤞🏼only🤞🏼four more things going wrong! 🎉 And then I’ll be married to my favorite person and the stress will probably be gone! ✨

(Please send good vibes my way it’s been a very weird hectic month 😂)

[stairset]

I had Spider-Man 2 mailed to my house when I pre-ordered it and it hasn't arrived yet so I've just been spending my entire day dodging spoilery Youtube thumbnails like Tobey Maguire dodging Green Goblin's razor bats in slo-mo in that one scene.

[quietwingsinthesky]

🌹:O

:3c

Lucifer doesn't care how the labcoats say it works; he knows there's no such thing as a clean break from a drift the minute the plug is pulled. Instead, Michael goes from a second consciousness beside his own to being dragged out of Lucifer the further Lucifer gets from him, both of them gripping tight to the connection until it slips, until it snaps, with a violent recoil that knocks Lucifer's brain out of alignment and reminds his legs that they don't work. His next step falls too fast, too heavily, and refuses to take his weight. It's only Michael, now only a voice outside of Lucifer's head yelling his name, catching him from behind that allows Lucifer to collapse to the floor with his dignity intact.

[florida3exclamationpoints]

.

[fantabulisticity]

Just screamed so loud in my car that both my ears rang and a spider fell from the ceiling. My throat hurts.

[andi-o-geyser]

Every day I wake up and want to cry because there is something so comforting yet so unbelievably terrifying about a prequel series that includes characters we have seen in the future because we know that those characters will certainly survive, or at least survive the events we are witnessing in this context, but everybody else has their fate completely up in the air. Will they live? Will they die? Is their absence in the future timeline and inherent confirmation of their death, or will they be fine and is there a perfectly reasonable explanation for why they do not appear with the characters who we know will survive? And that constant hope, that persisting anxiety about their fate holds for their entire time onscreen because we know, we know that their future is not set in stone. So we're fighting against our better nature as the audience to convince ourselves that somehow the characters will survive even when it feels like we should already be grieving their loss. Anyways I'm doing fine mentally and have consumed a perfectly healthy amount of media why are you asking