#so so excited to get up at 6am for work tomorrow again

[st-hedge]

*kisses dmc4 on the mouth* u stupid game

[alexsoenomel]

Rise and Shine (Dean Winchester x Reader fluff)

Requests: May I please request a Dean x reader where he finds out how ticklish she is one morning while snuggled up in bed together. He makes it his mission to find all her ticklish spots and finds her laughter absolutely adorable 🥰

Summary: Dean trying to wake up the reader from a coma.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Just fluff and I guess American Gods spoilers??

Word count: 1k+

Note: Wrote this because I was sad. Enjoy!

Like/ reblog or both if you like it :)  

“What are you reading?” Dean asked as he snuggled against you, placing a kiss on your shoulder. 

“American Gods,” You said, showing him the cover. It had two guys aka the main characters standing next to a black Chevy impala and two crows watching them.

“Is that…Baby?” He asked, all excited. At heart he was still a kid – one of the many reasons why you loved him. He was sometimes insufferable, with his silly jokes and teasing, but you wouldn’t trade him for the world. 

“Hmmm, good eye.” 

“What is it about?” 

You knew he wasn’t going to leave you alone, so you took your reading glasses off, placed a book marker on the page you were currently reading and put it on your lap. 

“You know how we sometimes kill Gods?” You sometimes didn’t believe your own voice when you would say shit like this. Killing Gods, vamps, demons…you name it. Sometimes it all sounded too far-fetched to be true. “And it all seems too crazy to be true?”

“Yeah, sounds like you took too many happy pills when you say it like that.”

“Yeah, well this is worse. Mythology on crack basically.” 

“It can’t be that bad?”

“In the first chapter you learn about vaginal vore, Dean.” You said, putting the book on your night stand, along with glasses. 

“The what now?” 

“Exactly.” 

It was a Friday, and since being a haunter wasn’t exactly working 9 til 5, you decided to go to bed early. You were planning to catch the sunrise and hit the road the next day. A new case, a new town – same old, same old. 

As you turned the lights, Dean was already snuggled up against you, pulling you closer by your waist. His nose was in your freshly washed hair, as he placed a gentle kiss just under your ear, making you shiver. You rubbed your ass against his boxers and as a result he exhaled deeply.

“Don't!” He whispered. You bit your lower lip, trying to swallow a chuckle. “Sleep, or you’re driving tomorrow!” 

“Not a chance!” You said. Even though Dean was overly protective of his Baby he would still let you drive from time to time. You just hated driving, especially driving in the morning. You hated mornings. 

“Then good night, sweetheart!” He said, pulling you closer like that was even possible. You naturally had lower body temperature than Dean, so his body warmth would always make you sleepy. His scent in your nose, skin to skin – he was home. 

“Good night, handsome.” 

***

Dean woke up before you, like always. After showering and getting dressed he went to the kitchen and saw that Sam was already up, drinking coffee. It was almost 6am. 

“Mornin’.” 

“Mornin’” Sam said. “Are you driving?” 

“Yeah.” Dean said, filling  two mugs with coffee black as the night. “Give me 30 minutes, she is still asleep.” 

“Okay.” 

He tasted the bitterness of the semi-warm coffee, feeling every nerve in his brain activating. Nothing could beat the taste of black coffee in the morning for him. He felt like he was human again. When he went back to his room, you were still in a coma, only your hair was peeking from the covers. He placed the mugs on the nightstand.

“Rise and shine, princess!” He whispered, moving your hair from your face. You didn’t budge. He knew you were a heavy sleeper and the only way he was able to actually wake you up was with physical contact. He went under the covers and snuggled against you. 

"Wake up, beautiful!" 

You were half awake, feeling his warmth against you. You didn't want to wake up, your body was heavy and you could feel how tired you were. You've always said you will get proper sleep once you are dead and it was true. The life you were living wasn't for people who had a normal sleep schedule. A sign left your lips and your eyes refuse to open. 

"Sam, made coffee!" 

Nothing.

His fingers started to draw small circles on your belly as you squirmed. The sensation was strange, enough to pull you back to the Earth, finally. 

"Mmm no!" You mumbled, snuggling your head under his chin. He smelled fresh like pines and you could feel the fabric on his body; he was already dressed. It hit you. It was already time to get up. Dean's hand was resting on your side.

"Mmm yes!" He said and kissed the top of your head. 

"Five minutes!" 

"It's never five minutes with you!"

He started doing the same thing again, brushing his fingers against your skin making you squirm. You mumbled something under your breath and moved his hand from your naked body.

"What is it?"

"That tickles." 

Dean made an "oh" sound when he realized what you were talking about. Maybe that will wake you up?

"You ticklish?" He asked.

Still groggy you mumbled no but he didn't believe you. 

Instead his hand went on your thigh and again he started drawing small circles as lightly as he possibly could. 

"Stop!" You mumbled again, growing annoyed by the second.

"YOU ARE!" He said. 

This time he went in with full force. He wanted to discover your weak spots as his fingers touched any naked surface he could find, and since you slept in only your underwear it was easy. 

"NO, DEAN!" Your eyes were fully open now and you were awake. Your instinct kicked in and you tried to get him off you, kicking your feet, but he was holding you with his other hand. 

"Oh yes!"

Your still sleepy body was now awake and spasming, feeling rather uncomfortable. You hated that feeling. You didn't want to laugh and yet you couldn't stop. 

"STOP IT!" 

He took both of your hands and put them above your head, now on top of you inches away from your face. The smell of coffee in his breath on your face and a silly little smirk watching you as you were finally fully awake and aware of your own existence. 

"Good morning sunshine," his voice was deep as the Pacific and raspy enough to make you shiver. 

His lips met yours in a light kiss.

"From now on I'm waking you up like this." 

"Please don't!" 

"You laugh like a house, it's adorable!" 

You frowned and lightly punched him in the shoulder.

"Eat me,Winchester!"

"I'll when we finish the case!" He winked. 

[brighter-by-the-daly]

Rachel Daly x Reader

Part Nineteen - Surrounded

You’d never been on such a long flight before, Florida had been the furthest you’ve traveled but that was when you were young and barely within memory. A feeling of dread sunk into you the night before - over 30 hours of travelling in a flying tin tube can do that to a person. The thought of exciting spontaneity had drifted away in the early hours of the morning and had been replaced with stomach churning anxiety. Unable to sleep as Rach snored loudly next to you, the more she breathed the more you were getting frustrated; knowing that if you’re not well slept you get grumpy and that’s the last impression you want to make in front of everyone.. although you’re sure that you won’t be the only nervous flyer on the plane tomorrow, well today seeing as it’s 2am now. Putting up with Rachel’s snoring was getting hard to bare, every breath was a reminder that she was asleep and you were not. You’re used to falling asleep first and being a deep sleeper the snoring never usually bothers you but tonight it felt like world war three was boiling up in your stomach. In a desperate attempt not to project your frustrations onto your girlfriend you decided to get up and run on the treadmill for a while - you’d been working out a lot more now there’s a gym in the house. You ran until your body felt tired then had a warm shower but that was a mistake as it only woke you up again. Moving into the lounge where your suitcases were waiting you sat and stared at them for a while until something took over your body and made you pull everything out of them. Convinced you’d forgotten something and your mind beyond able to listen to reasoning made your arms frantically unpack everything you’d squeezed in, albeit most of the stuff probably unnecessary. The words of your girlfriend “if we forget something, we can just buy it” far off in the distance. You’re not used to having spare money to spend on stuff needlessly, if you have it already it’s coming. Unfortunately half way through packing everything back into it’s place, you fell asleep.

Awakening to a slight shake of your body you opened one eye to see Rach staring down at you from above “what’s happened here then?” her soft morning voice broke the silence. Grunting in realisation you’d fallen asleep surrounded by your belongings and were using them as a blanket, you wedged your eyes shut determined to get more zzz’s. “I couldn’t sleep” you mumbled trying to force her to stop talking and leave you alone. “What’s the time?” you asked hoping beyond anything that you’d at least got a few hours but when Rach said it was 6am you could not control your disappointment that she’d woken you up. “Just leave me, I’ll tidy this up later” pulling a pair of shorts over your eyes to block out the sun. “I’m not leaving you in the middle of the floor (y/n/n), come on” Rach bent down and scooped your tired body into her arms to carry you upstairs, laying you gently on the bed she sat with you for a while stroking your hair until you fell back to sleep.

Rachel’s morning hadn’t started quite the way she’d expected it to, making herself a cuppa tea and sitting cross legged on the floor to pack up your suitcase again. She wasn’t angry, she knew this was out of the ordinary for you and had wondered when the anxiety was going to kick in. A few hours passed when she heard you stirring so flicked the kettle on then crawled back into bed with you. “Are you okay baby?” she asked as her arms wrapped around your body making you the little spoon. “How did I get here?” your voice croaky and your eyes still shut but comforted by your lady’s hold on you. “You don’t remember?” with a shake of your head Rachel filled you in on your early morning antics. Groaning in annoyance at yourself that you’ve now go to pack your entire suitcase again, something you’ve done every day for the past two weeks. “Don’t worry darlin’, I’ve sorted it” she kissed your cheek “you didn’t have to do that doll” shuffling around so you were facing her, eyes squinting from the light coming through the curtains. “I know how big of a thing this is for you, I just wish you’d have woken me up” she said gazing into your tired eyes. You laughed softly to yourself remembering how mad you were at Rachel’s snoring and told her that. “I’m dreading this flight Rach” pushing your face into her chest so your words were barely audible. You don’t like admitting when you’re scared but a worry shared and all that. “Hey it could be worse, you could be on a public plane! You’ve always wanted to go to Australia, you’ve got me and Millie and all the others, I’m sure Mary will keep you busy with TikToks! All the snacks you could want, leg room for miles, beds; we’re gonna have a great time. You won’t even realise we’ll be flying for so long. And we stop off for a whole day in Dubai, have you ever been there?” Shaking your head with mild amusement, “do I look like the type of person that’s ever been to Dubai before?” your eyebrow raised in an unsurprising fashion. “Well, we get to have an adventure there too! Another magnet for your mum’s fridge!” she smiled squeezing you tightly. Rach always knew what to say - never called you silly or your feelings stupid, always validated your emotions and made them feel normal. Rachel was the most supportive person you’d ever had in your life, never questioning or demeaning and you were starting to realise what a healthy relationship truly was.

Gathering at SGP you were greeted excitedly by some of the others, Millie and Mary came bounding over to see you both the second they noticed your car pull up. Jordan came over with her arms out shouting “look who’s here!” The days of watching Villa together on the sidelines while she was injured ran through your mind. She’d talked about her worries about making the team and you were so happy to see her here. “I’m so proud of you!!” screaming as you scooped her up, “I told you you’d do it!” Soon it was 5pm and everyone boarded the coach which included a lot of karaoke that you were urged to join in with. Checking in at the airport made everything suddenly seem real, the nerves were starting to set in and it wasn’t going unnoticed. The girls linked your arms and lead you on board the flight - Rach in the middle and you and Mill either side of her. The plane was like nothing you’d ever seen before, there were even cabins with beds at the front! Food was served and you watched films together, they then entertained themselves by interviewing you on how it felt to be on your way to your first ever World Cup. After they both fell asleep you listened to music before trying to get some shut eye yourself until the lights came back on. You’ve never been able to sleep on flights but you had never been on a private plane with so much room before so you quickly drifted off and stayed that way for hours.

Part 20 - On Top of the World

[delusioncorner]

Knock at the Window

(Spider-Man x Reader)(T)

Whilst studying for a big final exam, you hear a knock coming from your bedroom window...which is weird because you live on the 5th floor of an apartment building. Who on earth could that be?

(This is kind of long and maybe a bit shit but I wrote it because I lowkey miss school)

-

The words begin to blur for the seventh time since I've started the tedious- and albeit very stupid- task of pulling an all-nighter for the exam I have tomorrow morning at exactly 7:30 in the morning. Hard, heavy blinks start to plague my eyes and I thought very briefly that I was going to lose this battle that I was fighting with my sleep. I sigh and close my eyes tight, taking deep breaths in and out, in and out, in and out.

When I open my eyes again I look towards the clock hanging on my wall and feel a sense of dread crawl up my spine. 3:45am. Another sigh escapes my lips and my heart begins to race. It's almost 4 in the morning, my exam- that my entire career depends on- is in 3 and a half hours, and I've barely read through half the notes I've taken in preparation for this goddamned test. My eyes start to well with tears and a sense of helplessness fills me rapidly. I've just been so busy the past couple of days with work, school, and my internship at Alchemex. Everything I do combines into one long event that starts at 6am and ends at about 9pm and the times I do have a small break I spend it with Peter. I know I should be focusing on my studies especially with the end of the year staring me right in the face and the promise of grad school welcoming me with its new and exciting embrace but I can't help it.

Peter Parker is in the Bio-Chemistry class I'm taking this semester- the class that I'm attempting to study for at the moment. He's one of the smartest people I've ever met and the depth in which he understands such complex theories will always astound me. I could have been studying with Peter and I honestly should have since he is quite the talented student but I can't focus on anything but him when he's around. It's quite the hopeless predicament I've found myself in. I'd like to think he shares the same feelings for me as I do him but every time I think something is about to happen between us he has to leave. It's happened too often for it to be a coincidence.

Today was a perfect example of that very thing happening. Peter and I were walking through the campus courtyard from our shared class, side-by-side, our hands brushing as we admired the cherry blossoms with their maroon-colored leaves. We talked aimlessly for what seemed like hours but were in reality only a few minutes before we reached the the grand fountain located in the middle of the school. We sat there and spoke, getting closer to one another as the minutes passed, until our hands overlapped. He said something that made me laugh and after I had settled our eyes locked and I felt my upper body leaning toward him like we were magnets, destined to connect. I looked at him through my lashes and tilted my head. I needed to feel his lips against mine. I needed us to feel one another. I needed him to need me just as much as I needed him. Just as our lips almost met...his phone went off and he was gone, running away frantically almost like he was awakened from a trance. I had no choice but to watch him leave.

I texted him before I started my slow descent into madness and I've still yet to receive a text back. I feel sick to my stomach. Recounting that memory combined with my sleep deprivation has turned my stomach in a way I hadn't been expecting. Standing, I carefully stretch and drink a bit of water because I am not about to throw up at- I glance over at the clock again- 4 in the morning.

Great. I managed to kill 15 minutes drooling over Peter. Could I get any more paths-

Tap. Tap. Tap.

I still. Was it my door? It couldn't be. My roommates are all sleeping. Walking over to my door, I open it anyway. Greeted with nothing, I turn to retreat into my room and before I get the chance to close my door I hear another sound.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.

The tapping transitioned into harder, heavier knocks. They sound frantic. I know it's not my door this time so I turn to my window. My curtain-shrouded, no-fire-escape-having, 5th-story window.

"Dude, there's literally no way that knocking is coming from my window right now."

A gruff, strained, and slightly muffled voice comes from right outside the window. "Please. Please open the window." It's a man. I hesitate briefly but decide that if someone is truly outside my window right now, then it must be someone...interesting and I've always been a curious person. I close my door and saunter towards my window. Dread is filling me once again but I punch it down. I'll just take a small peek and if it's like the Green Goblin or some other nefarious ne'er-do-weller then I'll simply accept my fate and die.

...Yeah. Yeah, that's what my options are. I either die or...some other second option. Hopefully, option number two is better than death. So, which will it be?'

I reach the window and slightly move the curtain to reveal Spider-Man. The Spider-Man. Even though I couldn't see his entire body I saw enough. I saw his bright red and blue suit. I saw one of his gloved hands and I saw a sliver of his other hand clutching his side. His back was against the wall of my building, almost as if he were glued to it. Spider-Man is a good man. He helps the city and he totally fought some giant dude dressed as a rhinoceros last week who threatened to do something dastardly to the town so I think I would be okay if I let him in. Plus, it seems like he's injured and I'm not a monster. I glance at the clock once more- it reads 4:10- before I rip open my window.

As quickly as I open the window, Spider-Man is through it, and closing the window behind him with just as much speed, then he slunks against my wall in a boneless heap. His breaths are heavy and small helpless whines escape his mask-shrouded lips. I tell him that I'll be back and swiftly leave my room, closing the door behind me, and running down the hallway to the bathroom to grab the first aid kit. When I return, Spider-Man is away from the window and slumped over in my desk chair.

"Thanks for letting me in. Also sorry for getting blood on your rug maybe? I don't know actually, I didn't really pay attention." He's rambling. He's distracting himself from the pain, I can tell. He continues, "You really just went right to work, didn't you? No 'Hi' or 'Woah! Spider-Man? What a silly thing that's happening right now,' you just up and got a...first aid kit? Thanks but I'm okay. It's just a flesh wound."

"You're bleeding a lot. One could even use the word profusely. I don't know what kind of weird business you have going on but I can just...I don't know? Stitch you up? My mom was a nurse and she taught me a few basics on how to fix up small wounds." I open the first aid kit as I babble on. The room is beginning to smell like iron and I feel lightheaded. He begrudgingly agrees after I beg him to let me help and I thank him. He lets me gently lift the top of his suit and I get to it. I feel sick and as he hisses in pain as the needle digs into his skin, I can't help but also feel sorry for the pain I'm causing him.

He goes on to comfort me as I finish stitching him. He keeps up a nice banter with me, making jokes and asking me other questions about my hobbies, and soon enough I'm tying up the last stitch and taping a bandage over the wound. I take a deep breath and ask him if he's hurt anywhere else. He says no but I still do a quick check. I cannot be responsible for the demise of New York's favorite web-slinger all because I was reckless. I didn't realize it but I said that part out loud. He started to laugh. His low laugh turned into a loud booming fit of hysterics and I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips.

He seems so familiar but I can't pinpoint it. I'm so comfortable with this man that I've just met. I blame it on the fact that he's a well-known vigilante who helps others but the whole time we were talking, I couldn't help but compare him to Peter. Their mannerisms and humor are so similar that it seems like they could be the same people but that's such a far-fetched theory that I swept it from my mind as quickly as it entered.

More minutes passed and I accepted the fact that I'd probably fail this test. Maybe, if I play my cards right, I could convince my professor to let me take it again? Say I developed nasty stomach flu or maybe I'll say my mother is in the hospital. He doesn't know she's dead so no harm no foul. Spider-Man and I discuss everything from star signs to the best delis in the area. Our tones get softer and I feel a wave of calm wash over me for the first time in 3 days. A yawn escapes my lips and I accept defeat. I'll email my professor when I wake up. Hopefully, he's understanding.

Spider-Man also seems to have reached his limits. He stands and stretches his arms over his head, groaning obnoxiously in the same way Peter does. Spider-Man thanks me for my help and for the conversation but mentions how he has something to do soon and should probably leave. I don't want him to leave. I find myself wanting to keep him. A courage that I am unfamiliar with strikes my body and suddenly I'm reaching for his mask. I rest my hands on his cheeks as a silent question. Can I? He nods slowly and suddenly there I am, in the middle of my bedroom at who-knows-when, peeling the bottom part of his mask up, stopping just below his nose. I sway forward and all at once, we're kissing.

It's brief, almost as if it was a thank you. A thank you to him for helping me relax in my state of study-induced panic and maybe a thank you from him for helping him? For showing him kindness? Whatever the thanks was for didn't matter, so long as I felt it. When we parted, he pulled his mask down and walked towards the window, opening it, and preparing to disappear into the night. I spoke up one last time.

" Why did you come to my window? Seems pretty random, no?"

He simply looks over his shoulder and says, "Because I knew you'd open the window." And just like that he's gone and I'm left to ponder.

He knew I'd open the window?

[ian-loves-fanfiction]

Well

I finally finished I See You, Sundrop! by @shirajellyfish

Slight spoily warning!

It is 1:14 in the morning as I write this (editing about a day later) and I have my first day of my senior year of high school tomorrow, but I just had to get all of my thoughts out while they were fresh.

I have never, never hyperfixated on a fanfic so hard. I've never read 400k+ words of a single fic in under a week. Somehow I managed to do that and have time to draw fanart (something I'm pretty sure I've only done once before for a fic, actually) and do my irl life shit.

How, you may ask? By continuously staying up into the wee hours of the morning :D (like 4-6am type shit, don't recommend it even if I think it was personally worth it).

I think I was so hyperfixated on the fic that I honestly didn't absorb the emotions like I should have? I felt things, surprise, excitement, a Sense of Impending Doom (/hj), but I don't think I really felt them.

I was probably a little more dissociated while reading than I usually am lol. I was so absorbed that some things barely registered. I am 100% going to have to re-read everything.

At one point I worried the fic wouldn't have a happy ending. Doesn't have the "angst with a happy ending" tag afaik and it got much worse before it got better. Saw a comment on one of the end notes and was reassured thankfully TvT. I'm very happy everyone is ok.

Love how the after ending note basically boiled down to "everyone is fine and Felix finally got some sleep" lol.

This fic was just. So good. Riley is such a dynamic character, so awesome and so cool. I really want to headcanon them as autistic (some of their behaviors just. They just. It's hard to explain, but if you're autistic too I bet you probably felt it, just a lil. They got the vibes /hj) but I know some authors can be kinda iffy about people headcanoning their OCs (which I get).

It was really cool to see an honest to goodness nonbinary character, a full character and not a self insert or y/n (no shade, I love y/n stories too). It was just cool to see a complete OC, and I love that it was all platonic, even if Sundrop did catch a little bit of feelings.

Honestly I relate so much to that, as someone who gains and loses crushes pretty fast. I'm happy it stayed platonic though and Sunny wasn't hurt or stuck pining or something silly. Plus his absolute embarrassment and mortification at his slip up was pretty funny. Might try to draw it, if I have any left over motivation (the bottom of this post sure is interesting hint hint).

Update as I'm editing this about a day later: I can't stop thinking about this fic. It was just so good! I already want to re-read it but I know I should give it at least a little time so I don't burn myself out. This fic was probably the best story I've ever read. Period. Even better than the published books I've read.

Honestly without spoiling any more than I already have, read it. If you like the DCA, read it. If you like cool nonbinary characters and great platonic relationships, read it. If you like a plot that sneaks up on you before hitting you in the feels like a truck, read. It. Do it. It's sososo worth it, I promise you.

If anyone has some good fics to read (completed preferred but actively updated ones work too) PLEASE FEED ME. Now that I'm done with ISYS I am desperate for more DCA fics. I've read so many and I n e e d m o r e.

Bonus fanart to celebrate my completion I guess(?), embarrassed Sun boy!

I guess I just really like drawing embarrassed boyos. Sorry if it looks weird, I've never drawn a pose like this before :P

Shira if you're reading this, thank you. Your fic was just fantastic. Also thank you for helping me get out of my art block! I had it for the whole month of ArtFight (sadge) but I'm so happy to have some motivation again. Thank you.

[lovecaterpillargirl]

An ever-fixed mark

While I’m waiting for my AO3 request to be approved I thought I’d post the first chapter of the Avengers fanfic I’m writing on here. This one has been rattling around in my head for while. I hope I do the characters justice. 

Chapter 1

That morning began like any other. Emma woke at 6am. She showered and put on her suit. She didn’t need to be in the office as much as she was but, work was her life now and, despite it not holding the same excitement as her past exploits, she enjoyed her job. She liked her colleagues and felt it was her vocation in life to keep her father’s company going; Knight Industries was one of the last bastions of UK engineering and Emma viewed its continuation as her way to serve Queen and Country and honour the memory of her dear father. Unlike her father, she had no heirs to take over but, when the time was right, she planned to hand the company over to her Deputy CEO, Caroline Lawson, a smart young woman of 27, who’d worked her way up from the typing pool, over the course of 10 years and had proven herself to be just as shrewd a businesswoman and as formidable in the boardroom as Emma, as well as a good friend. Still, Emma Knight had no plans to relinquish her company just yet; it gave her status, freedom, wealth and a sense of purpose. Lord knows she’d needed all of that over the last decade.

That morning, as always, she headed to the kitchen, to make her first coffee of the day. She could find her way around her old Primrose Hill apartment in her sleep and it had been comforting to have somewhere so familiar to call home, after her divorce. When Peter had returned from Brazil, she’d rented the place out; she told herself (and him) that it held too many memories for her to sell it. However, in the back of her mind, she thought she must have known she’d return here someday. She must have known things would never go back to the way they’d been between her and Peter, not after living as a widow for so long, not after the Ministry, not after John Steed.

As the coffee percolated, she went to the front door to retrieve the morning paper. She rarely ate breakfast, so it was always coffee and the morning paper before leaving for work. She was usually behind her desk for 8am. Later she’d tell herself she’d gotten an odd feeling that morning, as she reached down to pick the newspaper up from her doormat. Perhaps it had been old Mr Edwards, across the hall, who’d just been closing his door and had given her a slightly odd look. Emma thought, perhaps he was apprehensive about her getting up to her old tricks, now she was back and having that “noisy man in the bowler hat” come round and disturb the peace. She smiled to herself; there wasn’t a day that went by she didn’t engage in some fond memory of Steed. Since the phone call about Paris, she’d been thinking of him more and more. She was working up the courage to go to his house; he’d written and asked soon after they’d spoken “dinner, at a day and time of your choosing”, she just had to give him a call. He’d enclosed his number. That had been 2 months ago. Well, 2 months, 1 week and 3 days, to be precise. And she would do it. Tomorrow she would do it. She knew Steed would want to write and ask her again, even call again, or turn up on her doorstep but, he was too proud and too respectful to pester a lady.

At least she thought Steed would like to ask her again. That was until she came to the last few pages of the morning paper and took a glance at the ‘hatches, matches and dispatches’. It was the largest announcement and Emma’s first reaction was to let her almost empty coffee cup clatter back into its saucer, in a most undignified fashion. “The Right Reverend and Mrs James of Berkshire wish to announce the engagement of their daughter Purdey, of The Royal Ballet Company, to Mr John Steed, Socialite, of Buckinghamshire.”

Emma read the announcement again, closed her eyes, opened them and re-read it, in case she’d misread it. In case it was another John Steed. Of course it wasn’t though, there was only one John Steed, Socialite of Buckinghamshire and he was currently one of the most eligible bachelors in Britain. At least he had been. Emma felt her world tilt on its axis. Who was Purdey? The young woman he worked with? She’d seen a blonde with short hair in an Embassy photo recently, from some party. They’d been accompanied by another man, very modern looking, whose name she couldn’t recall. But, she remembered the girl had been called something unusual and referred to as a member of the Royal Ballet. However, the way the two of them flanked Steed, with members of foreign agencies present, she’d known they were from the Ministry.

Oh god, what was she going to do? What could she do? Rush to his house and yell at them? Steed was a free agent. He’d asked her to dinner over 2 months ago and she’d yet to respond. He likely thought she was no longer interested in him. She’d blown it. But Purdey? And just 2 months into their relationship it seemed, given he’d asked Emma on a date. Perhaps it hadn’t been a date. Perhaps Emma had been mistaken and Steed was only being friendly when he’d asked her to dinner, “for old time’s sake”. Dear god, she remembered how young Purdey had looked in that Embassy picture. At least 25 years his junior. It was wrong. What could he offer her?

Emma suddenly felt sick. What could Steed offer a young woman? Maturity, excitement, sophistication, eccentricity, intelligence, respect, wealth, adoration, status. He could offer a lot and some young women wanted a man like Steed for his experience and the emancipated way he treated a woman.

Emma was at the door and in her coat before she realised it. She scooped her car keys from the bowl on the table beside the door and paused. Then, her hands shaking, she went to the phone. It rang for what seemed like an eternity before it was answered.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Caro. It’s Emma.”

“Em, what’s wrong, you sound awful.” Emma thought she must, as her voice didn’t sound like her own.

“Some bad news. I have to see an old friend, I won’t be in today.”

“That’s fine. I hope it’s not too terrible. You take as long as you need Emma. I’ll hold the fort.”

“Thanks Caro.” Her final words were almost a whisper as she replaced the receiver. She was in disbelief at how affected she was.

As she ran down the stairs to her car, on what seemed like someone else’s legs, she thought she still had no idea what she was going to do. But she knew Steed’s address off by heart, from the letter she’d read and re-read. The Lotus Elan (another legacy of the past she couldn’t bear to part with) seemed to drive itself along the route. She had a vague remembrance of feeling detached from her body behind the wheel before, when Paul Beresford had taken her over with a watch, turning her into a human Cybernaut. She felt there was probably less emotional turmoil during that car journey than there was involved in this. She wondered if the wind was causing her eyes to brim with tears, or the situation. But, before she knew it the gravel of the approach to Steed’s house was crunching under her tyres and she realised there was no turning back now, even if she didn’t really know what she was going to say to him.

She could have parked right outside the house but, she chose to carry on along the driveway and park under the trees, near the stables. There were two Jaguars outside, one bright yellow, one racing green; she assumed the green one was Steed’s. It seemed too much of an imposition to park beside them. She felt dwarfed by the house. She knew Steed had inherited some money and become the archetypal Country Gentleman but, she’d had no idea he was this wealthy. The house was a mansion and the stables extensive, with what appeared to be living quarters for the staff. Steed was a rich man from an aristocratic background. Emma’s father had made his wealth, been knighted and given her an upper class upbringing but, she wasn’t from the same royal stock as Steed. Perhaps that was it, Steed wanted to marry into his own class. Emma chastised herself for those thoughts. Whoever Steed had become now, he’d never been precious about his background, or anyone else’s; she couldn’t imagine Purdey’s father being a Bishop was the reason he’d chosen her as the girl to break him of his bachelordom. Emma felt irrational for thinking it.

Now she was here, she sat in the driver’s seat, staring at the front door, through her rearview mirror. She had no idea what to do. “Drive away” the voice in her head told her. “Steed remembers you as calm and collected, not an emotional wreck. If you’re never going to see him again, don’t leave him with this as his last memory of you.” Emma reached for the key, considering a quick u-turn and a getaway, when the front door opened. She flinched and slid down in her seat, praying whoever was there wouldn’t look towards the car. Two people emerged from the house, the woman Emma assumed was Purdey and the man she remembered from the photo; he was a thoroughly 70’s man about town, all boyish charm, strikingly handsome angular features and a shock of dark wavy hair. Purdey had a slim balletic physique, legs that went on forever and a haughty, aristocratic, intelligent face, with a cheekiness about the eyes; she exuded confidence and modernity, with her boyish blonde bowl cut. Emma’s heart sank, as she could see exactly why Steed would adore her.  From her position near the stables Emma could only catch snippets of the conversation on the wind.

“Of course I’ll … don’t worry… appointed me her…” the man called back towards the house.

“Don’t forget John” Purdey emphasised Steed’s Christian name, we’re… now.” and Purdey gave a coquettish little wave before taking the arm of the young man beside her, both of them walking to the yellow car, grinning, as if sharing a private joke.

Emma glanced back towards the doorway and saw Steed, half in shadow, watching his mentees and fiancé depart. The yellow Jag reversed at speed, shot forwards and left in a cloud of gravel. Emma lost sight of Steed in the dust. When it cleared, she looked back to where she’d last seen him, her heart thumping, adrenaline coursing through her veins. Her hands were still on the wheel, her palms felt sweaty. Steed’s door remained wide open but, he wasn’t there. Emma jumped upright in her seat and turned around to check she wasn’t mistaken. That’s when the voice came from beside the passenger door.

“Hello Mrs Peel”. Steed’s voice was unnaturally quiet.

The sneaky devil must’ve seen her car, as Purdey was leaving. He’d walked (probably ran) to the back door of the house and crept up beside her. She turned to look at him, which didn’t do her racing heart much good. He was leaning with both hands on the passenger door, much like he’d done the first time they’d met, when he first introduced himself, after she’d collided with the back of his Bentley.

“Hello Steed.” Her voice was equally unnaturally quiet.

“I left the door open.” He gestured back towards the house, “I thought you might like to join me for a drink.”

Neither of them moved for several seconds. They just stared at one another. If Emma didn’t know better she’d have said Steed had love and sorrow in his eyes but, she did know better. He was in love with someone else now. Perhaps just sorrow then, for the past and her pathetic timing.

“That would be lovely” Emma said, her polite formality sounding alien to her ears. She moved to get out of the car but, like lightening, Steed was round to her side and opening the door for her. He offered his hand. She didn’t take it and for a second, she detected hurt cross his face. But then, the respectable and cheerful mask was back in place.

“This way my dear” and, her legs still not feeling like her own. Emma Knight followed John Steed into his house.

[jow99]

Not quite over the jet lag

We’re still waking fairly early (5:30-6am), which was a good thing Friday as we had an early call with Phil and Mich. The day dawned as forecast - wet. It was forecast to rain all morning and then for the wind to pick up. Thankfully that wasn’t the case. In the morning we managed to do the grocery shopping without getting wet at all.

After that we spent most of the rest of the day at home. Jose had some Narrabeen work to do and I did bits and pieces around the apartment.

Today was also a very exciting stage of both Tirreno Adriatico and Paris Nice, so it wasn’t all work.

Around 5pm we went out for a walk and couldn’t believe how mild it was. We stopped and had a cava enjoying a little bit of sun before buying the few things we didn’t get at Carrefour this morning. A quiet evening at home.

Saturday morning again dawned wet, as expected. The forecast was for rain pretty much all day. After some phone time in bed with a coffee we headed out to one of the local cafés so Jose could have his first hit of churros and chocolate. It did look good 😋

The rest of the day was spent reading and Jose doing some Narrabeen work. We were all set to watch the cycling but all we got was skiing 😩 We figured there must be a Eurosport 2 that was showing it and we don’t have that. Thankfully we managed to see the highlights on YouTube in the evening.

For lunch we had some of the fabulous rotisserie chook we get here. It did rain all day but apparently it’s meant to be dry and sunny tomorrow 🤞

An early night for me. I was falling asleep before 8:30 🙄

[pbandjesse]

Today was. Like 4 different days. I am excited to go to sleep.

I sort of got to sleep in. But not actually. I didn't have to be up until 8 but I would feel stress and couldn't stay asleep. I did get to see James briefly before they left. And I would get up pretty soon after that.

I felt like my face was really puffy this morning. Like my eyes and cheeks seemed puffy. I had coughed really really hard at 6am. James said I sounded like I was struggling really bad. I would do a little better once I was up and standing. And my face would stop being puffy by the middle of the day. But I was feeling kind of bad about myself to start.

I had breakfast. James left me an omelet in the microwave. I shared some of it with Sweetp. And would get myself ready to leave.

My appointment was at 9. And everyone was driving stupid. And me being nice and letting someone in front of me caused me to lose the last parking space in the lot so I had to turn around in the office ally and park on the street. Which was fine and only mildly annoying because the couple that snagged the last spot were still sitting in their car when I was done in the doctor's which means their appointment was after mine and it annoyed me. Ugh

I had a good appointment. I think my doctor thinks I'm funny. James says it's because I recount stories like a stand up special. But the thing I like about this doctor is because he doesn't dismiss me because I'm silly in my delivery.

I tried to make him understand that while I was mostly okay in this moment, I would deteriorate throughout the day and the night was the worst. And he got it. He thinks I'm still a little sick because of the rhumatologist medicine. So he wants me to try antibiotics. And taking Flonase consistently to try and help the drowning. And if nothing improves he has also prescribed me the same steroid as before and maybe if I take that throughout the day rather then just once it'll help longer. He's really nice.

I paid and made a followup appointment. And headed out.

I was so close to the museum that I decided to stop and say hello to James. When I got there I got some compliments on my outfits from Meghan and one of the newer educators and it was so nice to chat with Meghan. She would actually reach out to me later and we made plans to hang out in a few weeks. She's great.

I also just hugged in James for a minute and told them what the doctor said. It was a worthwhile stop for sure.

I left as their group was coming in and went to my job. It wasn't much longer then the drive from home. And it wasn't a bad drive. No real traffic but someone started tailgating me and flashing their high beams at me for not tailgating the person in front of me I guess. And then once they got around me I watched them swerve in and out of traffic and it was so dangerous. Stupid behavior.

I got to camp and put away low ropes first thing. Before I even got to the office. And it was much warmer today so the only thing that sucked was moving the ladder around. But I got it done and it was honestly beautiful out and I had worn enough layers to be comfy.

I went to the office next and filled them in on the appointment. And then about the workshop tomorrow. Checked in about Samson and anything they wanted me to bring. Specifically the quad poster that needs to be repainted with more current pictures but it's something at least.

I would do some work on my document and my workshop and just some other little things. I had the rest of my spaghetti from last night for lunch. It was a nice day.

In the afternoon I would take a walk to the art building. I collected the got glue guns and a few small things for tomorrow. I also grabbed my hiking slip one and some of the clothes I had up there to bring home and decide if I'm getting rid of them for real. I grabbed some clogs I had up there too and wanted to try those again. But I tried them tonight and remembered why I was getting rid of them. Ah well. Worth trying.

I went to the nature building next and got a tank to set up for Samson. He was mostly buried but I stole some of his dirt for the travel tank. And would leave him for now. I would return for him at the end of the day.

When I got back to the office I poked around the attic. Worked on writing my feild trip schedule for the next couple months. Got confused about a creative alliance workshop I had written down and sent an email to Parker and then immediately realized what it was and emailed him back to ignore my last email and he thought that was very funny. Sometimes I move to fast with sending emails!!

But it's fine

I got my calendar all set up and hung it in the window.

I would do a little designing for the wedding open house were having. And went through some photos Elizabeth uploaded to the drive. And worked on that until I needed more feedback before I could move forward and Elizabeth was on a tour so it really decided the end of my day for me.

I would chat with Heather and promised to take pictures tomorrow. And went to get Samson.

He was poking out of his shell and he's a sweet boy so it was not a big deal to transfer him. I brought the tank to my car and buckled him in in the backseat.

And then it was time to go.

I stopped at the grocery store. To get Caeser dressing for dinner. And then drove home. It was not a bad drive. Not to much traffic. I was just tired.

When I got back I took Samson in first. Then came back to the car for eveything else. I moved my car closed for the second run. And saw our neighbor Ryan and we waved. It is nice to make friends with the neighbors.

I spent the next bit of time putting my materials together for the workshop. And putting some stuff away. I'm just thrilled with the studio right now and I can't wait to a really have time to sit and make things. I have some plans!

James would come home soon. I was moving some stuff into our book cases and was so happy to see them. I started not feeling amazing and decided to stop working and went to chill on the couch.

James made me a salad and they had falafel. And we would chill for a bit before it was time to go to the theater.

James was working concessions at theater project and it was a happenstance show so I wanted to go. And it was fun! When we got there it was nice to see Chris and then happenstance had set up a puzzle of the garden of earthly delights and I worked on it with someone else.

I'm sad I didn't get their name but they we were so fun and we talked and worked on the puzzle for a good half hour. We talked about puzzles and school and cults and shows at this theater and they were just so lovely. But then I ran to the bathroom as the house opened and when I came back they were gone and I couldn't find them again. I hope we cross paths again!

The show was fun. I always love the different clown styles of happenstance. This was very different. It was medieval. Which is much later in history then they usually play but it was fun. Not my favorite show but I thought it was really wonderful. There was apart where a demon was attached to a guy and all the costumes were just so fun. I had s really good time.

I was struggling to not cough the whole time though. I had to use the inhaler twice during an 80 minute show. I hope I wasn't disturbing anyone but I know I was at least a little. Sorry everyone.

When the show was done I followed James out. I had saved them a seat at the very top of the theater and we were able to quickly pop out the back. Grabbed our coats and headed out.

We walked past the new club that opened next to/under theater project and you could literally hear the music from the club during the show so I'm sure that has become an issue for theater project. I hope they can figure something out there because it's kind of a shitty situation. Like no one is in the wrong but it's not cool for sure.

We got to the car and my mom had just called. I'm like. Okay whos dead. Also if it's my dad I'm gonna be pissed. But no one is dead. Dad is just in the hospital. He is okay. This is a good thing. It feels to heavy to talk about, but he's getting help and that is positive movement. And I just want to know my parents are okay and not just living but happy and thriving. And I'm proud of him for taking the steps to get better. Even if it's really hard.

We would get home and see that Samson was awake and eating lettuce. Sweetp was being a cutie. James gave me a hug and took my workshop stuff to the car so I wouldnt have to in the morning. And I went to take a shower.

The shower helped a little but I really want to sleep now. I am coughing still but it's not as constant and not as hardcore. Tomorrow I will be better.

Tomorrow is a busy day. I have my workshop until 1130. And I hope to have Samson back to camp by 1230. And then back home not long after 1. I would like to sleep for a little. And then I head to the musuem for the fundraiser! I'm looking forward to the night. I hope it's a lot of fun.

I hope you all have a good night too. Sleep well. Take csre of yourselves. Take care of eachother. Good night.

[fatedwithmbc]

This evening begins my second round of Ibrance. I’m a bit nervous, but I tolerated it well last month. However, that’s how things went with Kisqali. I tolerated it well until I was vomiting all of the time, not eating as a result and sleeping ALL of the time. I haven’t experienced any of these side effects with Ibrance, yet, but I have become ULTRA vigilant for changes that I notice in my body that could be a result. The only constant between the two therapies is a constant aching in my joints and bones. But that’s from my estrogen inhibitor and there isn’t much that can be done about that.

Tomorrow is my last day of “freedom”. I return to work on Tuesday on a part-time basis. My feelings are conflicting. I am excited to have something useful for my brain to focus on and demonstrate that I am an intelligent human being, but also terrified I’m going to undo all of the mental health progress I have managed to accomplish during my leave of absence. I actually need to talk to my psychiatrist and ensure my antidepressant is at the right dosage. Prior to my hospital stay, I was at 20mg and right now, I’m at 5mg and titrating upward. I think it’s time to go to 10mg’s. The anti-psychotic is still making me feel like I have ADHD. I cannot stay focused for the LIFE of me. Again, another thing to work with my psychiatrist with.

I am thankful that on Tuesday, I will have my first day and then can get all of my feelings about it out right away with my therapist. I really am proud of myself for all of the work I have done and trying to break the stigma that comes along with mental health diagnosis’. I have two friends that I am very open about these things with and I love them dearly as they have taken similar avenues to better themselves and I am so proud of them. I am proud of anyone who openly seeks therapy or psychiatry and isn’t ashamed or hides from it. It takes a lot of bravery to openly tell or talk about these types of appointments which is silly. Especially since the pandemic. Many people struggled with their mental health — there is NO shame in getting the mental help required. It’s like fixing broken bones; a medical professional is needed. Sometimes, feelings need medical professionals as well.

Today I feel like I bordered on depression sleep and my body just being fatigued. I woke up around 9:30AM and I wasn’t quite ready to wake up or get my day started yet, so I returned to bed. I woke up at 1:30PM. That late hour is what scares me into thinking it was depression sleeping (I should also mention I was randomly awake for about 4 hours last night in the middle of the night - like 2AM to 6AM). However, I promptly got up and got dressed. I was determined to have some level of productivity today. I had my own list of things I wanted to get done, but Mom-Mom wanted corn for dinner. I gladly volunteered to take the drive up 73 to the farm stand we’ve been going to since the one in Dresher shut down a few years back. I was able to get corn, cucumbers, tomatoes and a red bird with a bell - it’s similar to a wind chime but shorter and just has the bell. On the way back down 73 I stopped at Starbucks and then went home. I made a salad for dinner and popped it into the fridge to get cold and helped to shuck the corn. I did a few things before I needed to start grilling the chicken. I worked on my daily list of things (Daily Stoic, Tarot Pull, Devotional, Color My Mood) and tried to get the Phillies game on my television.

I’m still trying to get NBCSportsNet to work in my room - which is proving to be difficult because I stream all of my TV upstairs. After connecting my DirectTV account, I’m still not able to get “live” sports on the NBC app. I upgraded my DirectTV app to include regional sports and MLB2 was playing the Phillies, but I got a blackout message from the TV provider. I tried all of the trouble-shoot options and none of the options worked. I think I am just out of luck with getting baseball in my room. Which is frustrating because sometimes, you just want to nap in bed while while the game is on. When I realized this was going to be a fruitless effort, it was already 5:00PM and time to head downstairs to grill the chicken for dinner.

I remembered to fold up and throw away the old grill cover which I should have done on Thursday night for trash night. However, the new grill cover is on the grill tonight. I also cleaned up the bird seed shells from the bird feeder, watered some plants, hung up my red bird from the farm stand and picked some random weeds off the deck steps. Just small things, but they add up and make a difference. Dinner preparation was done quickly and I was glad of that, I felt like I didn’t want to put too much effort into anything today despite being determined to feel productive.

After dinner, I soaked my toe - last week, I had an ingrown toenail removed. It’s been itchy (yes, I know this means it’s healing) and I keep stubbing it, because that’s how the universe works. I tried to go without a bandaid today and I think it was just too soon. So, lesson learned. I’ll keep bandaging it and soaking it until Dr. Shim indicates I can cease doing both when I seem him for my follow up appointment. But of course I soaked in lavender epsom salts. Everything I can get in lavender, will be in lavender. I love lavender. I can inhale the smell of lavender forever and never grow tired of it. I truly believe in all of it’s healing and calming properties. Even when I go to bed, I have my essential oil diffuser that I put lavender and cedar wood oil in. Cedar wood is supposed to be ground and calming as well as the lavender. If I could find a combination oil with both oils in it, I would get that instead of ordering them separately, but alas, I’m making it work with what I have.

Another key thing I have yet to mention is that I finally hit my $1500 goal for the Unite for Her 5k. I am beyond ecstatic for reaching the goal and becoming the top individual fundraiser. I am not sure if there is any recognition for that, but I am proud of myself none-the-less. I am still holding out hope that my pleas on social media for Jason Kelce to make a $1 donation will come to fruition. The poor man probably gets 100’s of these requests a day. But, he’s my favorite Eagle and I just think it would be super cool to say I got a donation for Jason Kelce. Speaking of the man, I FINALLY ordered his jersey. The authentic, stitched lettering, jersey. I’ve wanted it for years and I got it on sale. It was likely on sale because they are making way for the Kelly Green’s - which go on sale tomorrow. I’ll be content with my black jersey. Black is classic and never goes out of style. I’m glad I finally have a player that has had such a lengthy career with Philadelphia. My prior black jersey was LeSean McCoy who hasn’t played on the team in ages, but I still rocked his jersey. This is all leading up to the fact that football season is quickly approaching. Lee, Elora and I agreed to get tickets for a pre-season game. So, I will also be seeing the Eagles play this year. Even if I only see the starters for all of 3 plays, I will be happy. My biggest enjoyment comes from going to the stadium as well. Pro-Shop, here I come! Not that I need anything remotely related to the Eagles to add to my clothing collection. I should NOT be buying any new clothes.

On the clothes front, my green polo that was back-ordered from LL Bean is finally going to ship. It’s Kelly Green. Haha I still need to finish my closet project. I bought some space bags that I hope will give me more space to get hoodies and winter clothes in two large totes. I’m optimistic, but this is where I feel like I have ADHD in that I can’t for the life of me finish a set of tasks without being distracted by other tasks. I will be bringing this up with my psychiatrist. I know some women tend to be diagnosed with this around my age. But, I haven’t had these feelings until I was put on the Abilify. I pace, I do one activity for 10 minutes before I am bored or feel the need to switch tasks. It’s confusing for me to have these feelings. I also lack the ability to concentrate on reading. I have been trying to read Seneca. Which admittedly could be boring on its own, but I normally do not struggle to read a book. The book I have been paying the most attention to is my planner because I write in it and document different things from different days. It’s taking on a form of a journal in some ways, but there isn’t the same level of detail that is contained in this blog in the planner.

Speaking of details and writing, I really want to write and submit to Elephants and Tea - it’s a magazine (quarterly and online) for young adults with cancer. The only problem is none of the prompts are really “speaking” to me. But how amazing would it be to get published!? I know I have the talent to write, especially if I feel passionate about the topic. The current prompts are: “Rituals and Hobbies for Coping,” “Words Matter,” and “Rediscovering Yourself after Cancer”. Part of me thinks I could wriggle my way into producing a piece for the last prompt, but it’s due in 15 days and I don’t even know if I have the answer to rediscovery yet. I still take things one day at a time and hope for the best each day. As for the rituals and hobbies, I don’t really have any that are “cancer” related. Just things I do everyday, that I did well before my diagnosis. My evening routine didn’t change (my rituals); my hobbies didn’t change (I stopped a lot of my hobbies at first and am just starting to pick things up again). If anything, I could talk about the struggle of trying to maintain both of these items when facing a diagnosis initially, I wasn’t doing anything initially. The only change was the addition of my writing (this blog mainly) and that I fell off the wagon with “The Daily Stoic”, my Tarot Card Pull and other things. I’ve amped up my personal growth routine though, which now includes the aforementioned (The Daily Stoic, Tarot Pul) and I have added a Color my Mood book, which is a good look back at how my emotions changed through a month. The gratitude journal has become a big deal for me to reflect upon my day and guide me through the Color my Mood book. I’ve added a devotional. I’m not super religious, but I feel like I could encourage growth with my religion in adding this devotional despite it NOT being the Lenten season. Also, the devotional is written by a woman who has had cancer and I find it less daunting and intimidating. She is really good at making it apply to daily life and I don’t feel like I am reading the Bible. In addition to the devotional, I pre-plan for the next day in my daily planner. There are a few things I have omitted but can pick up whenever I want - a mantra book and a book of quotes per day by Hoda Kotb. I’m afraid of adding too much self-help and overwhelming myself to the point where I can’t keep up with the items I’ve decided to make part of my daily ritual. It’s all about balance, right?

I think this is a good stopping point. I’ve touched on a lot tonight and I’m not sure if the flow really made sense, but I just wrote as it came - not to be structured. That’s the beauty of a blog. It can be as informal or formal as I’d like it to be. It’s a good format. That being said, I’m done for this evening. Thanks for being here, thanks for reading and thank you for the support.

El Fin.

[breathenbounce]

THE RITUAL AND THE ROUTINE

When I was in Arizona at the Civana resort, which is one of the best I have ever been to, if you haven't read my earlier post, we did something pretty cool. At 8am, we had an intention ceremony and 6pm or so, we did a gratitude ceremony. These were wonderful ideas and even though my day didn't end at that time, it was a good way to recap what happened that day. So since then, I have been trying hard to keep up with these two items and writing them in my journal.

Being someone who suffers from mental illness and lots of other stuff, I decided to make this a part of my everyday routine. I wake up in the morning. Woodstock usually is there trying to get me to feed her, and then I do that and get my coffee ready. Before I was doing my intention meditation along with a journal entry. Now I have a new thing.

I am taking this course called A Yoga Teachers Success Journey. It is helping me find direction with what I want to with BNB and my teaching and creating experiences. However first we are doing investigating and analyzing on ourselves. This is difficult but very beneficial. We had to do five things right away. The first is I should read for 15 minutes before turning on phone, checking email and things like that. I have been doing OK with it, but I plan on attacking it more tomorrow.

I have not been doing so well with the evening meditation and gratitude. So tomorrow I am going to work on doing it earlier. Our teacher Rina said we had to also write down three WINS. We have to do this at the end of every day. So, I have been doing that when I write my gratitude. Even though I am late with the gratitude, sometimes I write it the next day, because gratitude is one of the most important parts of who I am. I am practicing gratitude on a higher level. Drinking it in and letting it fill my heart and my soul. So, these things are very important.

I have also cut my work hours down. I will only handle Schoolbells business from 6am - 5pm, after i do my reading and intention. It doesn't always go that way, but I am working hard to get there. We need repetition and desire to get the ball moving. That's the plan I am putting into place and practicing it on a daily basis.

These little changes are making a huge difference in my life and are lighting up my soul. It's healthy mindful and setting boundaries for myself. I am very excited to do this again tomorrow.

Also on a side note, Experience III: A Walk in the Woods was so much fun to do and a wonderful time for everyone involved. Special thanks to Rob for the breathwork, and Treya for not only doing the sound journey but just bringing something extra as she always does to the experiences. So much love.

Namaste,

Michael

[keefwho]

September 10 - 2024 Tuesday

10:17pm

4.5/10

The power was out on and off today and it was extremely irritating. I woke up in the middle of the night, scared in the pitch dark because I was half asleep. I got terrible sleep because of it and it came back at 6am. When I woke up on time, I knew I was too tired so I just plopped back in bed for however long my body would keep me there. I slept an extra 90 minutes which only did so much for me. The plan was to pursue a lighter schedule that would still get some work done but as I got out of the shower, the power went out again for a few hours. Then it came back again for a bit and I started making lunch. Halfway through it went out again so I had to finish my stew on my parents gas stove. It was out another couple hours until finally coming back on for good. My day had been ruined by this. With the power back, I had played Simcity 4 by myself for awhile to relax and decompress. I also kicked back and watched some Twitch. DS asked if I was ready to watch her play Hades and I was, I looked forward to it like movie night. I watched her for an hour until the presidential debate which we watched together. That went exactly how I thought it would: a child arguing with a normally functioning adult. I mostly respected how Kamala approached questions and rebuttals but it wasn't perfect. It was far superior to Trump who's speech pattern serves to try and rile me up but lacks real substance. It was refreshing to hear at least just a little bit of cohesion and passion. Im not too into politics though because of how immature the atmosphere has become. I think I would take far more interest if we had a more democratic voting system with greater options and we had candidates motivated by something more than power/party.

I'm wanting to re-determine what my definition of love is and what is smart of me to be on the lookout for. I know driven primarily by emotion, love has been that great elation I feel when things are new, exciting, and intense. I've been chasing that kind of thing for awhile and trying to force it to happen even. Its definitely part of the equation but I've grown wary of overdoing that part. I'm feeling more attached to the idea of love being slow, stable, loyal, and mutual. Its a state of being and its constant. I've always known this and advocated for the awareness of this stable kind of thing but secretly I've been motivated by the rush of quick, ever increasing highs. I love em but I've found that overdoing them gets old.

Im going to try and attend bingo with mom tomorrow I think. I'm a bit nervous mostly because I don't want to waste a night doing that when I could be spending it with DS which I know will be a great time. But this is how I felt when I wanted to do my 2 day VR experiment. From that I learned briefly the importance of space/moderation. Stepping back from anything can help you see the goodness in it so I think an evening out with mom trying something new could help remind me how special my usual evenings are. So if I'm afraid of wasting time, I shouldn't be. It will serve me in the long run either way. And maybe I can get some free wings out of it.

I really wanna get on this attachment book I'm reading with DS but she is unfortunately actually too busy to catch up at the moment. I'm at least going to finish chapter 1 and my comprehensive notes so I'm extra ready to discuss it.

[oneuldoh]

07월 05일 2023년

It’s been awhile! I’m already at the dorm and the commute today was such a hassle. This morning, I got in the wrong stop. It’s also getting harder to ride the bus going home when I leave the office around 5:30pm. Ang dami nang taong naghihintay sa bus stop. So I either leave on the dot or leave around 7pm.

Anyways! I was occupied at work today unlike these past few days na wala akong ginagawa (literally— at least I’m paid though). This week is eventful naman and I have scheduled deployments and workshops tomorrow and friday. I’m slowly familiarizing myself with the ongoing projects and I’m glad that our Enablement Engineer is helping me bit by bit even though he’s busy with the ISO. Once I familiarize myself with the flow naman, I know I can do a good job. Kailangan ko lang talaga lakasan yung loob ko when it comes to facing the customers because that’s what my job is. I’m pretty much excited this week because I get to travel outside the office.

Anyways again! I spent two hours chatting with my board mates during dinner. They’re all friendly unlike yung mga nakasama ko last 2020. At least living here is bearable. Someone might buy a mini ref for our unit and I told her I’ll chip in with the charges monthly. I’m also planning to buy a small water dispenser because I can’t keep drinking lukewarm water.

I’m also thinking if I should have my laundries done here or at home. Kasi naman meron pa akong mga underwear and I pretty much hate doing laundry during the weekend kasi nakakain ng oras. This weekend din I’m planning to help my brother get his shit together. Nakakairita na kasi yung pag-uugali niya na ayaw niya mag trabaho.

Ah, I almost forget. I wrote this down in my notes app. Funny na everything that was written here (back in January pa ha!), eh natupad ko. I was able to wake up at 6am (well because of my meds and I have to eat breakfast by 7am). I also stopped binge watching kdramas all day. Instead, I looked for jobs during my spare time, I helped in cleaning, I was able to sort out my social media accounts. I also quit vaping— well, kasi nga nagka Tuberculosis ako. And last is staying in my room which I realized na I’m not being productive when I’m in my room all day. So I try to stay in the living room as much as I can and do my work there. Nakakatuwa lang na I was able to change these unproductive habits of mine this year even though it took me awhile to complete it. I still have A LOT of unproductive and unhealthy habits to change. Might as well list them on the notes app. To be honest ngayon ko nalang nabalikan ‘to eh, and I’m surprised with the results.

I’ll sleep na din pala. It’s 10:54pm and tinuloy ko lang itong post na ‘to kasi nag catch up muna ako ng Lies Hidden in My Garden. Tomorrow I’ll start watching Celebrity. I’m also thinking of subscribing again sa Netflix. Isasabay ko na kapag nag bayad ako ng The Moon tickets, Spotify, and iCloud. Aabutin pala ako ng 773php for everything. Hay. I’ll just pay tomorrow or on Saturday. I can’t keep watching sa Cineb using my iPad. Nakaka drain ng battery.

So, good night! Hoping for a good work week and weekend!

[blackvail22]

9/24/23 — 1:10am

theres a lot that happened within the past two days its insane. on the 22nd, i had to train this new associate for the whole day. he's rlly nice, and he's fun to talk to. he caught on really quick! im excited to work with him

also, that same day, i got back with my ex!!! it could be a dumb decision (because this is the 3rd time) but i really want things to work out. again, no one is going to know besides you... and... my coworkers, but thats different

the coworker that gave me his number, he gave me a note at work that says "im awkward so i dont know how to say this out loud, but i like you" and then taped a soda tab on it (it was the "hug" meaning one, which... i dont like but could be worse). so! ive told the new associate i have a boyfriend. im going to tell them i have a boyfriend, but im telling those im closest to at work that its because i dont want my worker to hit on me anymore

if he keeps going after that, i have to report him. im not letting someone get away with that, not this time.

i have to start standing up for myself... im just scared because of that teenager who got killed because she rejected her (adult) co-worker, im afraid its going to be me. this is the reason i dont like hearing abt death.

on another note, back to abt my boyfriend....

im writing this as soon as i ended the call with him. i miss him already. i wonder how and why my brain changes how i react to things because of a label. i feel so clingy. i want to talk to him more. he does make me happy, and i hope i make him happy too

oh, i also bought this candle... its supposed to "smell like london" and it says the scent is "afternoon biscuits and tea" so thats nice. i bought it to think of you, nd its nice that the color of the candle matches my room

oh last thing ! i took my permit drivers test and i passed it! feels so surreal because i never thought i was ever gonna end up driving but here we are lol

anyways i like this song

6:06am —

dude i couldnt fall asleep until like 4:30am and my mom woke me up at 5:30, screaming at me to find something i didnt have!!! i found it! and it was in her bag, a place she didnt look (because she only looked one place!!!!!!) at least i can sleep now, but idek if i can do that because i feel awake now. im going to sob. FUVKKK I HAVE A HEADACHE AND SINUS PAIN NOW IM GOING TO CRY DUDE. and the fact that she walked up the stairs to scream at me (she never walks up the stairs)???? ooo. im so mad bro! like im going to wake up whenever i have my alarms set and im going to punch a wall because i cant sleep without getting interrupted. IM PISSED TF OFF NOW bevause i havent had adequate sleep since my last off day (a week ago) and i dont have a lot of sleep for tomorrow because i have to wake up at 6am for an appointment thats 2hrs away. sure, ill sleep in the car, but with my mom? she wont let it happen. and i dont have another off day untl thursday, and i cant sleep in for that one either becahse i have another goddamn appointment in the morning. like, is this what being an adult is? being harrassed by coworkers, never having enough sleep, never able to fall asleep.... it cant be cause those all haopened when i was a teenager too. stuck in that cycle, though, and i cant wait for that cycle to finally end.

bad things always tend to happen to me. is it because i bring bad energy? AHHHHHHH i just need to scream cry

i am going to try to sleep now. I've rambled on for way too long

11:17pm

been incredibly sad today. i think it was my lack of sleep, or maybe it was my mom yelling at me and waking me up. still, my heart feels so ... heavy. i cant help but feel bad for people who love me. if i was them, i would choose anyone else to love endlessly. im undeserving of it all, anyway. i dont feel happy tonight. i hope tomorrow's better. i dont know what changed and made me feel this way because when i woke up and went to work, everything was fine until half way through my shift. it didnt really effect me, but them saying "oh, fun's over.. [my name]'s in a bad mood again.. everyone get away" keeps playing in my mind. it didnt affect me then, so i dont know why i keep thinking about it

i just want to fit on my roof and look at the moon, but its been rising really early so i dont think ill be able to see it now. ill watch some livestreams from space of the earth/the moon instead. something to comfort me while listening to music. i havent been able to watch any videos all the way through recently.. havent even been able to watch those gaming streams i like. hopefully ill feel better before i go to sleep

[now-we-say-c0ral]

May 24, 2023

Woke up at around 6am to an Eddie cuddling me. He wasn't feeling well last night and he thanked me for taking care of him this morning. I felt the sincerity when he told me that. That was really cute. I slept again as he went on for work and woke up at around 8am to get my day started.

I am working at home today to attend some seminars about Safeguarding in children at work. It was an exciting session in the morning. I also did our laundry while the session was ongoing. Today's double purpose really. I've learned a lot about what to watch out for when a child's safety is at risk.

I made rice for lunch and prepared our baon for tomorrow so that neither of us would be doing it later at night.

I attended the session again in the afternoon but it was so damn boring. I don't know how I managed through the entire ordeal. Now that the session's done I'm just waiting for the whites to finish the spin cycle. I took a shower and plan to cycle to the gym where I'll be working out for a long time because I didn't really work out for two days now and I feel kind of stuffy and fat. I also told Ed that I wanted some ube ice cream and he told me that he will be getting me some before he goes home. One of the reasons why I love him. He spoils me with the realistic things that I want.

I went to The Gym in the afternoon and did back and some cardio. After that I went to Morrisons and bought a roast chicken and some noodles to make some Chow Mein.

When I got home I cooked and Ed helped. He told me that the chow mein I made was really good. It was. I would have had some seconds but I'm really concerned about my weight especially that we were going on holiday and I need to be exposed on the beach. Not even joking. I also had some ube ice cream from Mamasons and we had some Mochi that I bought from tian Tian Market.

The night ended with some cuddling. Today was an okay day!

[zaptap]

oh yeah pokemon tomorrow

i think sv dlc announcement (and home compatibility) is pretty obvious. who knows what form it would take though. hoping it’s kalos related because kalos is like. right there (also all the kalos starters are in the game already... though it’s not like we went to alola in ss dlc so that’s not an indicator of anything on its own)

the dlc could also fix 2 of my biggest problems with the game, which are the following

missing pokemon (probably not getting fixed since this is the 5th game in a row with this issue) (subset of this is missing national dex, which hasn’t been seen since oras and is therefore more unlikely to return)

specifically missing zubat line (crown tundra fixed this for ss, they could do it again) (i always have a crobat on my team you can’t do this to me).

you always have to wear the stupid school uniform. if we go to kalos we can get stuff from their boutiques and (maybe because we beat the game) they let us change out of that shit (if not then they aren’t doing kalos right)

other pokemon stuff i’d like to see (or might be there)

new detective pikachu game (WHERE is the evil blue pikachu they teased in 2013 that didn’t show up in the game or the movie i need it to be there it’s been almost a decade since we first heard about it

it would be nice if they finally released soundtracks for the past 4 games but after skipping so many i think maybe they’re done. shame

id like pokemon sleep to come out so joe serebii can get some. maybe me too idk

now that i think about it it’s been 3 years since the pmd remake came out? what the fuck? i feel like i just started playing it the other day. im not even that far. what the hell? how??? anyway that means i guess maybe it’s not too early for them to be working on a pmd2 one. im so overwhelmed though. they seriously need to stop making video games for like 10 years so i can just catch up. except splatoon that can stay

idk if im watching this live because i didn’t get much sleep last night and it’s absolutely going to screw up my sleep for the night if i do that. depends on when i go to sleep i guess, idk (my sleep schedule has been so fucked up that staying up until it starts would be easier but then i have to get up for work 3 hours after it ends)

come to think of it i didnt watch last year’s live either. hard to get  as excited about new pokemon stuff as i used to and im also sick of these 6am presentations. if it was splatoon id do it though.

[itsallyscorner]

This could be a request or not depending on how much time you have 😅 but for your information, yes, I am thinking Tom giving y/n hickies on her neck like the night before a bunch of interviews the next day and she's like, "Are you serious?" and he's like "I couldn't resist, I just love you so much!" and when y/n shows up the next day wearing a turtleneck after she told Zendaya that she would be wearing a dress Z immediately gets suspicious and figures it out bc I feel like she's like that 😅😂

Hehehe I haven’t written anything smutty lately and I miss it. So thank you for requesting this anon, much love to you🥰 Ugh, the thought of this gave me butterflies in my stomach😭 Happy reading!❤️

Also, little note for everyone who’s sending me requests! Yes, I see all of them! Part of the reason why I haven’t done some of them yet is because I have to think of concepts on how to execute them properly. So bear with me, love you all🥰

💌.

Love Bug

My soft boi🥺

Warnings: implied smut

(Gif from Pinterest)

The AC in your bedroom was just not doing you justice. The Californian heat was at an all time high today and has transformed you home into an Easy Bake oven. Though you were probably exaggerating, your thin crewneck sweater still clung onto your skin, making you uncomfortable. Peeling the sweater off your body, you toss it into your laundry basket. You’re left in a tank top and some lounging shorts as you sprawl yourself out on your bed. The coolness of the comforter bringing your body some relief from the heat.

Sinking into the sheets, the hustle and bustle of the day finally hits you. You’ve had a long day of press with your cast mates, promoting the movie you were all in, Spider-Man: Far From Home. You loved your job, but the press tours could just be so tiring. You were forced to wake up early in the morning and sit in a room for how many hours of the day to only be asked the same questions (most of the time). Though press tours did have its pros, meeting fans around the world and traveling to new countries was something you always looked forward to.

Marvel being Marvel, they always had to make it big. For the last few weeks you have all been traveling around the world, tired but nonetheless having an amazing time. Thankfully, this was the last stop of the press tour, California. You were back in your own bed and your boyfriend was staying with you for the time being.

You were on your phone, going through Instagram and looking at various photos that were taken today during today’s press engagements. You’ve even made your own contribution and posted your own batch of selfies and funny videos.

The door to the connected bathroom in your room opens and reveals your boyfriend. Your eyes break their focus on your phone and shift to the man in front of you. You smile and turn your phone off giving him all your attention. A smile forms on his own lips as he crawls up the bed to join you.

“Missed you all day.” He whispers against your skin, placing his head on your chest. His arms are wrapped around your figure, one leg hooked over yours. You move the hood of his sweatshirt from over his head and began to run your hands through his hair.

“Mmm, I missed you too.” He cuddles closer to your chest, arms tightening around you. His eyes momentarily shut, basking in your soothing motions.

“How was your day with Jake?” You ask him. As much as Tom wanted to do press with you, he was stuck doing them with Jake, while you did your interviews with Z and Jacob. Tom enjoyed having his interviews with Jake, but he missed being near you, even if you were just a room away.

Tom shifts so his lips are near the skin of your exposed neck. He hums against you before his lips come into contact with the soft surface. He had been tempted to mark you up all day. You wore a beautiful spring dress with a low neckline that displayed the skin of your neck. All he wanted to do was scatter red and purple love bites all over you, letting the world know you were his.

You gasp as he nips on the space between your neck and shoulder. “Interviews were good, but I just couldn’t get you out my head.” He slots himself between your legs and presses you down into the mattress.

“Teasing me with the pretty little dress of yours. Just wanted to kiss you and mark you up.” He says huskily against your neck. His breath sent shivers down your spine as goosebumps formed on your skin. His mouth sucks harder on the spot, teeth nipping gently, while his tongue soothed the bruising spot. He moved up so one of his hands are holding him up beside your head while his other strokes your side.

“Baby, we have an early morning tomorrow.” You didn’t want him to stop, but it was currently 2am and you were both expected to be awake by 6am.

His lips have made their way to the other side of you neck, pressing light kisses that turned to open mouthed ones. You giggle gently pulling him away from your neck so you can look him in the eyes.

“Babyyy.” He whines trying to shove his head back into the spot. A pout is on his lips, which were now a darker shade of pink from how much he was sucking on your skin.

“Tom, we need to be up at six.” You reminded him. Tom leans closer a boyish grin now on his expression. You couldn’t help but kiss him back when his lips captured yours. You feel him smirk against you as he pulls away.

The hand on your side moves to cradle the side of your face, his thumb brushing against your bottom lip. “We’ll be quick, I just wanna feel you. Please?”

You stare at him for a moment as his hand drifts down your body and by your shorts. Excitement swirls in your belly as his fingers get closer to your growing heat. He kisses your cheek as his hand slips past the band of your shorts to cup your mound. The wetness brings a smirk to his face as his dark eyes gaze into yours.

“Baby, look how wet you are.” He praises you as he moves your panties aside and dips his fingers into your wetness. You sigh, eyes slightly rolling back as his fingers spread your wetness on your folds.

“Fine, but—“ You bring your finger to point again him, “No marks on my neck, I’m wearing a dress tomorrow with a low cut again.”

Tom nods connecting your lips again, “Don’t worry, don’t worry, I’ll be careful.” He assures you before diving his head back into your neck.

~next morning~

You enter the bathroom, tying your hair up to keep it away from your face. You turn the shower on and wait for the water to warm up. While you wait you take a look at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes widen when you get a glimpse of you neck. You gasp out loud as you see the sides of your neck with red bruises with hints of purple on them. You had them on both sides of your neck and a small one almost on the center of your throat.

“TOM!” You yell, your voice echoing in the bathroom. There was some rustling behind the door before it was yanked open. Tom entered in nothing but his boxers looking disheveled, hair pointing in all types of direction and his eyes barely open.

“What happened?” His voice was raspy, something that usually made you swoon but right now you couldn’t even focus on it.

You turn to him, aggressively pointing to your neck. “Don’t worry, I’ll be careful!” You mock him, repeating what he said to you last night before he railed you into the mattress.

Tom’s eyes widen as well before he cringed. To be fair, you did warn him. He just didn’t know how to hold back when it came to you. He cautiously approaches you a sheepish grin on his face.

“I know it looks bad..” he begins. You shoot him a look, “Are you serious right now? Tom it looks like an octopus strangled me!”

Tom moves back to look at you, “Well you weren’t complaining last night.” You shoot him another look and he nods knowing you were annoyed with him at the moment. He stands behind you looking at the mirror you were both in front of. His arms wrap around your torso as he tries to soften you up.

“I’m sorry, I just love you so much and I couldn’t resist it. I love making love to you and I just get so lost in it and I know you warned me too, I’m sorry.” He apologizes hugging you from behind. You could tell he actually felt bad by the genuine look in his eyes. You sigh leaning back into him and resting your hands above his, interlocking your fingers.

“I forgive you, it happens.” You mumble, head trying to come up with ways to cover up your neck. “How do I even cover this up?”

Tom looks at your neck through the mirror, “Makeup will work right? Just put on some concealer or that color corrector thing you use.”

You nod at his suggestion. “That’ll work for a few hours, but makeup wears off. What if I accidentally wipe it off?”

Tom pursed his lips together in thought, “You could ask Laura to bring you something with a turtleneck.”

“It’ll barely move and your neck will be covered the entire time.” He suggests.

“Yeah, it’ll probably work. I just hope she hasn’t left yet, I should text her.” You move from Tom’s hold and turn the shower off. Before you leave the bathroom, Tom pulls you into a hug again. His face nuzzles against your hair, “I’m sorry, again.”

You smile and stroke his back, “I told you I forgive you, it’s ok love.” You pull away and peck his lips. Tom smiles and leans down to kiss your shoulder. Something he always did when you guys were having a moment. Instantly, you jump back and push him off, “Get your fucking lips away from my neck. I don’t need anymore hickies right now.”

~later~

Your stylist, Laura, ended up bringing you a stunning white dress that stopped above your knees. It was short sleeved, hugged your curves perfectly, and had a turtleneck that covered your neck. She gave you a pair of leather knee high boots which pulled the look together. Your hair was curled, pulled back into a half up and down style while short strands of hair framed your face. Compared to the panic you felt when your first saw the hickies, you were relieved when you saw yourself in the mirror again an hour later. You felt like a modern Go Go Girl as you admired your outfit.

You arrived at the hotel where all the interviews were being held. You make your rounds of greeting everyone, saving Z and Jacob last since you’ll be with them the whole day. You enter the room and see the two of them already sitting in front of the cameras. Jacob spots you first, “Aye! Good morning!”

You smile and walk up to them, giving them both hugs. When you pull away from Z she gives you a look. Her eyes scan you from head to toe, squinting at your dress.

“Weren’t you just complaining that yesterday was too hot? Why are you in a turtleneck?” She interrogates you. You smile nervously at her while you settle in the seat on the other side of Jacob.

“Um, you know, it’s a bit chilly today.” You lie. Jacob eyes you as well catching on Z’s point.

“(Y/n), it’s 95 degrees outside.” He tells you eyes panning around the room. Zendaya smirks leaning forward to get a better look at you, “I think someone was busy last night.”

“No, I wasn’t. I had a very nice sleep, thank you very much.” You sweetly smile at her crossing your arms.

Jacob snickers beside you, “I bet you did.”

“I guess Thomas couldn’t keep his hands off you last night.” She teased, exposing you.

“Or his mouth.” Jacob quickly adds smirking. Your cheeks get flustered squeezing your eyes shut. Jacob and Z burst out laughing at Jacob’s comment.

“I don’t even have a come back, blame Tom.” You throw your hands up in the air giving up. Z calms down and leans over Jacob to rest a hand on your knee.

“Hey, it’s ok, man. If I were Tom, I wouldn’t keep my hands off you either.” She tells you jokingly, helping you get over the embarrassment of wearing a turtleneck. You catch on and wink at her, “Aye, say less.” Your hand resting on top of hers.

Jacob puts his hands up looking shocked, “What did I just walk into? I—I gotta go.” He pretends to shove your hands away and gets up from his seat.

“I’m telling Tom about the sexual tension I felt in this room.” He yells over his shoulder as he walks out the room. You and Z look at each other amused, “Is he actually?”

Z shrugged, “Honestly, he’s probably getting some water. He was thirsty.”

The two of you catch up with each other. Talking about the press tour and what you were both planning on wearing for the premiere. You were in the middle of describing your dress when Tom bursts into the room with Jacob trailing behind him.

“STAY AWAY FROM MY WOMAN.”