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#so they kept falling over
abejapeludx · 2 years
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i will be sisyphus for $14.00/h
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tomaturtles · 11 months
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HAPPY SONIC FRONTIERS FIRST ANNIVERSARY TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE (inspired by this)
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fisheito · 4 months
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I started reading beastars so now HE's reading beastars .wait
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THEY'RE reading beastars
#nobody gets a prize for correctly guessing which character yakumo relates to most#when the anime first came out and everybody hopped on the hype train#i scratched my chin thoughtfully and wondered.... would i like this? it seems like i would like this. should i watch it?#and all my friends around me said 'nah you'll probably hate it. it's really sad'#so i trusted them and ignored beastars the whole time. until now. when i saw the entire series at my LOCAL LIBRARY!!!!#so of course the curiosity wins out and i start reading it and i REALLY LIKE IT?? WTF WERE MY FRIENDS ON ABOUT?#this is sad yes but most of the time it's FUNNY? and also ANIMALS R COOL? bruh. i can't trust my friends' opinions of me anymore#anyway. due to the nature of my current nuca fixation timing. i kept thinking of it while reading#drawing parallels that may only exist in my mind LOL#i can imagine yaku being a freak over legoshi and his quest to become strong but not falling to his instincts and etc.etc.#yakugaru having a manga reading session in either o their bedrooms... lying on the floor engrossed in beastly tales...#these two would absolutely have a debate about which chara is most similar to eiden#to yaku it is obvs haru but i feel like garu would see eiden in a less.... prey sort of way#or maybe they'd agree on the haru comparison!! but yaku might hesitate to voice the 'mr eiden... has to be protected...' thoughts#and garu would proudly proclaim how eiden and haru share traits like bravery/outgoingness/super cool and go-getter/wise and worldly???#i kept staring down louis like.... you're some mix of dante and edmond... and something else....#UGH i like all the characters... they all have their charms.... they are all such creatures#honestly yahya the entire time was just relatable content and after seeing the way he lived out the rest of his life *chef's kiss* GOALS#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival garu
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magistralucis · 4 months
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her name is milkshake. go girl give us nothing 🤗
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dent-de-leon · 3 months
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We've seen how confrontational Astrid and Essek become at the mention of Caleb, all the bad blood that still lingers--all the wounds left behind by the Cerberus Assembly that still fester, their warring ideals and beliefs, the immense danger and risk they each pose to one another. To Essek, Astrid and Wulf are forever entangled with the root of Caleb's trauma, inexorably intertwined. And when Astrid ascends to her seat as archmage of the Cerberus Assembly, it only furthers Essek's mistrust and wariness.
And just...thinking of how Kingsley starts flirting with Caleb immediately, falls in love with his dear Magician all over again. Essek who saw all the cruelness of Lucien, and yet is still so taken by the Nein's love for Mollymauk--the soft words of comfort and gentle forehead kiss Caleb gives him.
He's moved to tears by Caleb's own gutting grief, his heartbroken goodbye and loving tenderness. Essek who cries out that, "It's not fair"--how relieved was he, when the tiefling started to stir? When Caleb threw his arms around both Essek and Veth as he looked on at his Circus Man with such warmth and affection--"and watch the others descend on Mollymauk."
Essek and King running into each other over the months, over the years. Essek growing accustomed to the charming rogue's affections, the way Caleb always indulges him. King who never misses the chance to flirt with his Magician, playful and teasing, pretty words and a tender kiss on the forehead. Essek who is startled when Tealeaf starts to treat him the same, throwing his arms around the other wizard and insisting they go out for drinks.
Essek being able to connect with another friend who fell for Caleb, bonding over their mutual affection and ridiculous adventures with the Nein. Essek seeing someone else who loves Caleb--but would never hurt him, someone he trusts and grows to care for. Two of Caleb's partners bonding and becoming close, all three of them building a little life together--
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thosewildcharms · 5 months
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The emotion in Rick’s voice when he says "i missed you so much" the way he said it! You can tell he MEANT it with every part of him. And michonne who says "you don't have to, i know" because she missed him just as much 🥹
it really is such a gorgeous scene that says so much with so little 🥹🥹 and for real they're gonna have to name a wing after richonne in the Graduate School of Yearning. they invented a whole new course.
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twanettee · 10 months
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the thought of every demon in the northern palace being confused and disgusted w how a cowardly, pathetic, wimpy, weak, annoying, sad excuse for a cultivator like shang qinghua was able to bag such an absolute baddie like mbj is so hilarious to me bc can u imagine working for the stoic, merciless, lethal mobei jun who slaughters anyone who dare disobey him, right hand man to the demon emperor himself
and then suddenly one day mbj just appears w a disgusting little thing attached to him crying and wailing nonstop 24/7 and mbj is just? ok w that?? in fact, it seems he doesnt mind??? like at all????
like someone caught sqh eating an entire stick of butter from the palace fridge at three twenty five am and instead of getting mad the next day mbj ordered the entire fridge to b stocked w butter and only butter
every single demon is downright terrified of this odd little man bc he has mbj completely wrapped around his finger and neither of them seem to notice
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opossumonashelf · 3 months
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I have acquired official submas merch.
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good-beansdraws · 8 months
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In echoes, witches are made by sacrificing someone to the Mad God, and one of the final bosses involves a character we've seen turned into a unique fire-elemental witch. Her fight is more sad than scary, since she's just a silent, soulless echo of the kind woman we saw before.
I really liked combining this idea with the witch-hunt vibes in Bring it On. In my fantasy au, Fuuta wrongfully leads his band of knights against a village girl, resulting in the townspeople burning her before all the facts were laid out. She was using magic, which is what Fuuta called her out for, but she wasn't using it for any malicious or witchy purposes. When she dies, the bit of magic in her flares up with her emotion and she returns as this type of fire spirit. As well as Fuuta's abstract haunting guilt, he now has a silent, destruction-bringing ghost haunting him each time he tries to run away from what he did.
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faaun · 7 months
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my research partner and i are huddled in a blanket in paddington waiting for a too-late train i already miss you and you and you
#he keeps falling asleep almost on my shoulder and waking up and readjusting but i want to tell him its ok weve seen a lot#of each other ive seen your brainwaves you called me crying a few nights ago. research partner right now is a potentiality#friend is a certainty. i met a banker passionate about finance. he said his advice made the lives of others better and he likes the numbers#more than he likes anything else. on a high rise near canary wharf the view was wonderful and the people even moreso#he said i loved her but i spent 33 grand on her and i cant do this anymore. his voice cracked talking about her. he did love her.#and she talked softly she grabbed my hand she bought me a pack of Marlborough gold she told me to snap#the russian menthol cigarettes of the tortured polish man near us with my teeth i kept staring at her teeth#bright white and sharp. i couldnt find her heartbeat but i did find warmth and i did find her lips and i did feel#how she felt pressed against a wall. a pretty boy held my hand and i gave him my number. i couldnt stop smiling about her no matter#how many runways youve walked on how many collections youve designed how many students youve taught. senior lecturer teaches me how to do#very unethical things ethically over a double shot of vodka made by the half-persian with broken farsi. she talks softly#and she says her eyes are hazel but they appear a shade of red. pure gold on her hands and leather on her back and her fingers on my lips#(she talks softly sees through me she says something i cant hear but i wont forget the way she flies) she talked to my research partner#about the possibility of moving to sunny dubai with the rest of her family and my heart felt pierced. on her arm i traces a tattoo of a#knife passing through a rose. she told me she thought there was romance in severing so i kissed her some more.#he sat me down and asked me what i loved and i told him and he said no romance no person no tragedy will take that from you.#the room was filled with a collection of people in love with something that wasnt a person and i kept looking at her.#red eyes bitten jawline beautiful hands. it is 3 degrees Celsius my head is on his shoulder i miss my friends#we walked out the lecture hall with arms linked a photo of two years ago and we both said#jesus christ. i miss you all. and i miss logic metatheory lectures. im glad i get to stare at the depth of your eyes#i wish i had met you years ago.#crushposting
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crimeronan · 2 years
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kind of a tragedy that ao3 didn't exist in the 70s and 80s. i know people say it would be a horror story to find your parent's ao3 but honestly as long as you avoid anything E-rated until you're like the same age they were when they wrote it you'd be fine. my mom has an old yellowed manuscript of the extremely generic high fantasy novel she painstakingly wrote on a typewriter at age 15 and i've read it twice. her self insert was a side character tough warrior catgirl named "catchild" who had a sword and always rode on horseback and could talk to feral cats in the main character's village. are you telling me you guys would find ABSOLUTELY NO DELIGHTS in the OP deviantart OCs that your disco 'rents came up with.......
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parkitaco · 1 year
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The sun is warm on Mike's face, and Will is warm against his side.
As far as dates go, Mike has to admit he did a pretty solid job with this one, even if he can already tell that his skin is going to be sunburnt tomorrow and Will won't stop whining about the little pebbles digging into their backs, and yeah, maybe bringing a picnic blanket might have been helpful, but- whatever. He's pretty proud of himself, both for finding this abandoned field on the outskirts of Hawkins and correctly pegging it as a good evening hangout spot, and for managing to get Will out here with him in the first place - it's been a bit of a chaotic summer so far, with the Party preparing to go into their senior year and Hopper and Joyce planning their wedding and Nancy and Jonathan and all their dumb friends visiting from college.
Anyway. The point is that evenings like this are far and few between, and have been for a while, because if the summer has been chaotic, the months leading up to it were nothing short of hectic. The SATs and AP exams and final projects had been brutal, and, like, yeah, the Party is together constantly, and Mike and Will have been joined at the hip since far before they started dating, but it's- nice. That's all.
Will shifts where he's pressed against Mike's side, head tucked against his shoulder and fingers tracing a gentle pattern over his chest. "Ow," he mumbles into Mike's neck, wincing as, presumably, one of the ever offending pebbles digs into his back.
Mike smiles, wrapping a gentle arm around his boyfriend's shoulders as Will wriggles around, trying to get comfortable. "Too many rocks?"
"Yeah," Will huffs, squinting up at Mike accusingly, "Are you sure we can't sit in the car?"
"We're experiencing nature, Will," Mike says for the third time, exasperated. "Plus, I told you, my A/C is broken. We'd overheat and die."
Will rolls his eyes. "You're so dramatic," he grumbles, rolling over onto his back and gazing up at the sky. Mike smiles, letting his head fall to the side so he can watch Will's profile, lit up by the golden glow of the sunset.
He's so beautiful, looking happy and flushed despite all his griping, the sun casting dramatic shadows over his cheekbones. It's stupid, but Mike's missed him these last few weeks, where they've had less time to see each other, lost in the shuffle of visiting family members and summer jobs and everything else. He misses Will a lot, which is stupid and ridiculous, because they've been dating for a couple months now and had been dancing around it for a few months before that, but it's true. He'd missed out on time with Will, that year that he was in California and the months leading up to it, and it had been his fault and he knows it doesn't matter anymore, but it's just- it's something he thinks about, sometimes. How easy it would have been to have lost Will completely, and how lucky he is that he didn't.
Plus, Will is just- nice to have around. Objectively speaking.
Whatever.
"You're staring," Will says softly, and he doesn't look at him directly but his mouth tilts into a small, wry smile. Mike flushes, and is entirely uncompelled to look away.
"What are you gonna do about it?" he teases, nudging Will gently. He scoots closer, lifting his hand from where it rests in the grass to brush lightly through Will's hair, and Will hums appreciatively.
He reaches up and catches Mike's hand, pressing his lips to Mike's fingertips, soft and feather-light. Mike's heart flutters, and he rolls over, leaning over Will and staring him down with a goofy grin on his face.
Will meets his gaze, one eyebrow quirked. "You're pretty," he sing-songs, grinning all teeth, and Mike laughs even as he feels heat rush to his face.
"You're a dork," he returns, and dips down to press his lips to Will's before Will can argue. He can feel Will's smile against his lips, sweet and summery, and it makes something click into place in his chest. I missed this, he thinks hazily, which is still stupid and ridiculous because he sees Will every day, gets to kiss him like this basically whenever he wants, but it's true. This need inside of him runs deep and terrifyingly intense, and he'd always sort of thought it would mellow a little once he was actually dating Will, but apparently not. He just wants- needs Will here with him like this, all the time, forever.
Jesus Christ. Mike can never say any of that out loud. He'd die of mortification on the spot.
But if the way Will is kissing him back is any indication, the feeling is at least halfway reciprocated. His hands are pressed firmly into Mike's back, pressing him lower as he kisses him carefully, slowly, like he's relishing the feeling of Mike against him like this. For someone who, at least as far as he's told Mike, had had little to no experience with kissing before they got together, he's learned far, far too quickly. It's a little unfair, in all honesty, that Will can be so effortless like this, matching every ounce of Mike's crazed intensity with his own.
They even each other out. They work, like this.
After a long moment, Mike pulls back, nuzzling his nose into Will's cheek before settling back down into the grassy slope of the field. Will smiles, slinging an arm over Mike's stomach and returning to his original position - face pressed into Mike's neck, curled around him with their limbs hooked around each other.
He's so warm, rivaling the sun itself, and the air smells like freshly mowed grass and flowers and the faint traces of Will's shampoo from where his hair brushes against Mike's cheek.
And there's that other thing, the thing that occurs to Mike in moments like these, the reason for this deep-seated neediness and want in him, the thing he's known for years now, since before he could even properly put a name to it. He's been thinking about that thing a lot lately, because he's known it all this time, sure, but there's a big difference between keeping something like that tucked away in the back of his brain with the vague idea of getting around to dealing with it some day, versus knowing it with such constancy, with such regular reminders, now that he actually gets to be with Will in this way.
Will shifts against Mike again, pressing a light kiss to his collarbone, and Mike- might as well admit it, at this point.
"Hey, Will?" he asks softly, dragging his fingers through his boyfriend's hair again and turning his head, nosing against the side of his face and kissing his jawline lightly.
There must be something in his tone, something that gives him away, and he kind of figures Will knows what the- that the thing is anyway, but it still manages to settle his nerves when Will tilts his head up to look at him, smiling sweetly.
"Mike," he replies, lightly teasing and honey-sweet, "I know."
Thank God, Mike thinks, and his face splits into a smile. "Can I," he says, swallowing back the unwarranted nerves that are still humming through his veins, "Can I say it anyway?"
Will's eyes widen just slightly, and he flushes, looking embarrassed and a little shy. "Y-yeah," he says, his easily confident demeanor slipping a little, and he looks endearingly nervous, biting his lip and nodding once.
It's this, combined with the sun on their cheeks and the warmth between them, that makes the words slip out. "I love you," Mike whispers, heart beating fast in his chest and a giddy feeling overtaking him. He dips down, presses two quick kisses to Will's cheek, and a slightly hysterical giggle escapes him. "I love you so much," he whispers, face tucked in beside Will's and lips brushing his jaw.
Will's eyes flutter shut, and a smile steadily spreads across his face as Mike continues dropping little kisses to the side of his face and neck. "I love you too," he hums, as Mike ducks his head lower and kisses his neck, "I really- Mike, that tickles!"
"Don't care," Mike murmurs, kissing the junction between Will's neck and shoulder. "I love you, I love you, I love-"
"Okay," Will cuts in, laughing, "I get it, Mike."
Mike reluctantly detaches himself from Will's neck, nuzzling his face against Will's one more time before rolling over onto his back and bringing Will with him, an arm around his shoulders and pulling him closer. Will laughs again, quiet and warm, and his head settles heavily onto Mike's chest. "I love you too," he says again, and Mike's entire body floods with warmth. "I really do, Mike."
This, too, Mike had known - almost in the same way he'd been aware of his own feelings, a quiet sort of knowledge that he'd been putting off confronting. "I know," he hums, just to be annoying, and Will reaches up with a lazy hand to flick the side of his face. "I'm- stop it, I'm just saying."
He can't see Will's face, but he'd bet good money that Will is rolling his eyes at him. "Yeah, yeah," he grumbles, and then, voice softening as his fingers find their way to Mike's waist and he begins tracing gentle circles into the exposed strip of skin there, "I missed you, you know."
He missed me too, Mike thinks, wildly, and it shouldn't please him so much, the knowledge that his boyfriend is just as deranged and insane and nonsensical about this relationship as he is, but it's oddly gratifying. He hugs Will closer, enjoys the steady weight of him against him as he asks, voice warm, "When did you miss me?"
Will shrugs, the grass shifting beneath them as he scoots closer and continues tracing his fingertips into Mike's skin. "I don't know, just- recently. It's stupid, I know."
"No," Mike says quickly, pressing a kiss to the top of Will's head, "No, I know what you mean. I- I miss you too, sometimes. Whenever you're not around."
Will lifts his head, peeking up at Mike with a shy smile. "Yeah?"
Mike laughs, a little incredulous and a little giddy and a lot in love. "Will, I just told you I loved you, like, ten times-"
"Three and a half, actually," Will points out, and Mike giddily thinks he's counting, "And- I mean, that's good. Not that you miss me, or whatever, but. Just, sometimes I think I'm going crazy about this, about you, and it's just nice that you-"
"Crazy together," Mike interrupts, reaching for Will's hand where it's still pressed against his side and lacing their fingers together. "Right?"
Will laughs, settling back into him and squeezing his hand. "Yeah," he agrees softly, the sound reverberating through Mike's ribcage where Will's face is pressed into his t-shirt. "Yeah, crazy together."
Mike smiles, running his free hand over Will's back and letting his eyes fall shut contentedly. It'll be dark soon - the sky is turning a fiery red color as the sun dips lower still in the sky, and Mike had sworn up and down to Hopper that he'd have Will home by ten, which is a ridiculous curfew but tolerable for the simple fact that it's Will, and Mike will take whatever snatches of time with him that he can.
"This was nice, by the way," Will murmurs into his shirt, as Mike's hand brushes through his hair again.
"What, the date?" Mike asks, and he feels it rather than sees it when Will nods, cheek brushing against him.
"Mhm," he hums, sounding just as contented as Mike feels. "Thanks for- yeah. Thanks."
"Anytime," Mike says warmly, as Will's breathing evens out and both of their eyes flutter shut again.
The air is warm and alive with the sounds of birds and crickets chirping. Summer is just beginning, and Mike, for the first time in a while, feels like he has time - time with this beautiful boy, and his friends and everything important to him. Here, in this empty field at dusk, everything has come to a standstill, and the neediness and desperation that's constantly clawing at him has subsided, overpowered by the feeling of Will wrapped around him.
Mike breathes a soft sigh of relief, and the sunlight washes over them.
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sleepyqinfei · 2 months
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my dearest rae . . so sorry to keep you waitinf for so long ꒰ ˃ ᅳ ˂ ᜊ ꒱ ‎. . im here with a properly gift wrapped love mail 📬💌 i tried a little bit different, softer coloring this time >_< . . you and wrio were so easy to draw, it was as if the pen itself knew what to do, you two are my favourite lovebirds ehe ! ! 🌷 pls know that that i luv u very dearly ! ! ( and wrio does so too, even more so ! ! ) i hope you like it . . nd im very glad u joined nd been patient with me ♥︎ thank u sweetie mwahmwah🐇🦌
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#꒰ 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑟𝑎𝑒 ꒱ྀི#❤︎ ໒꒰ྀི⸝⸝ɞ̴̶̷ . ɞ̴̶̷⸝⸝꒱ྀི১#FEMI . FEMI MY DARLING M SWEETHEART M LOVE#FEMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII#i am in SHAMBLES omggiieeee#am so in luvf wif dis . . . so in luvf wif UUUUUUUU#OOOOBHHHHHHH MY GAWSH AHFKSJSNKCAJHKD#*explodes* *explodes* *explodes*#WAAAHHHH DWIS IS SO CUTTTEEEEEE#da colouring is sooooo perfect i . ໒꒰ྀི⸝⸝ʚ̴̶̷̆ ·̭ ʚ̴̶̷̆⸝⸝꒱ྀི১ ! ! ! ! ! !#FEMIIII TJANK UUUUUUUUUUU SK MUCH WAAAAAAAAHHHH#AAUGGHH u draw wrio so perfectly i wnt 2 EAT HIMMMMMMMM ! ! ! ! ! ! ૮꒰っ´༥'ς꒱ ❤︎ ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !#da body hair — ૮꒰ 𖦹﹏𖦹 ꒱ྀིა LAAWWWWDDD#waaaaahhhh u drew him so tenderly ‘s like ‘m falling in luv wif him all over again 💗💗💗💗💗#n u drew MI so sweetly too i will SOBBBBB#da pink hairclip n white earrings are such darling touches eeeeeeeeeee ! ! ! ! ! !#N DA CAMERA#we . we are at da beach hving a lovely time n ‘ve insisted tht we take some photos 2 immortalize dis moment of joy n#oh mi gosh . . . . . srrie i cn’t think clearly i keep staring at him btwn tags ahkdkabjdkan#anw . he grumbled about it but we boff’ know he loves taking pictures wif n’ of mi :blushblush: n now we’re looking at#da photos . . .#I WUV HIM SO DEARLY WHSJDKABNNDKNAJDK#da litl swirly blushies are sooooooooo adorable#femi wrds cannot properly express how closely i hold dis 2 m heart . . . how closely i hold ノ U ノ to m heart ! ! !#i cherish u n’ i will cherish dis foreva n ever ! ! ! ! ! !#u mustn’t thank mi 4 joining your event . . bcos ‘tis ノ i ノ who must thamk ノ u ノ for holding such an event in da first place . . .#for granting us da opportunity 2 be blessed wif ur love in da form of selfship art#TANKU FEMI THAMK UUUUUUUUUUU 💗🎀🌸💫#i ADORE UUUUUUU 🥺💗💗💗💗💗#‘m so excited i forgot how 2 type SHCKSHA kept accidentally hitting ‘ enter ’ ノ ‘ return ’ in da middle of a tag ANFNANDJKAMN
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rainbow-beanie · 9 months
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Even a month after reading it, I’m still taken aback by how dark the metal virus arc was, cause not only did all the main characters go through tons of grief, but we also see a glimpse into how other characters feel that aren’t apart of the main cast.
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The poor girl, who knew she was infected, and despite that she tried and pleaded not to be left alone, cause the world was falling apart, she was losing everyone she loved, and she was scared. So the last thing she wanted was to be alone. Seeing this kind of feeling displayed in a sonic comic of all things filled me with dread, cause it felt oh so realistic, cause I know people in rl would react the same way.
What makes it worse is that she was screaming and crying up until vector, who definitely didn’t want to do this, but knew that if he didn’t, more people would be hurt, picked up a car and slammed it onto her, crushing her. And if she hadn’t turned into a sombot after this point, that impact would have killed her.
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carefulfears · 8 months
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so ... demons coming right after elegy, in the middle of the cancer arc is a crazy choice and i know it means something. please share all your big brain thoughts on mulder & demons?
well...it's kind of like...in elegy, they're being haunted by the future (omens of scully's impending death), in demons, they're haunted by the past (visions from before samantha disappeared). both are highly metaphorical, and both are intrusive, even though he sought out the second. the first is too much. the second isn't enough. and after elegy it's becoming clear that...nothing will be enough. she is so close to death that she can see it. she can't...hide it from him, anymore. she's been dying for a long time. and she doesn't make him face it. she never has that moment where she tells him to just get over it. she never has that moment where she tells him to just accept it, stop avoiding it. she goes to all of her appointments alone. she bleeds alone. even in elegy when they almost argue over it, she tells him that she is fine, and then she goes outside and cries in her car.
but she's not fine, she's so close to death that she can see it, and he knows that. he's so eternally aware. mulder's fatal flaw is that he can see the world, he understands every underlying system, he knows people and how they think. and when he says "i refuse to believe that," he knows that doesn't make it go away. in elegy, he tells her that he's afraid, and she tells him that she's fine. it is a system established long before this particular death sentence.
in the script notes for the last scene of never again, it is remarked that: “if it were ever going to happen, it would be now. as they maintain the silence.”
the way i see it, never again is when they knew. they are not escaping each other. they are dying together. you are coming down with me. (hand in unlovable hand). and then, in the very next episode, comes a diagnosis. they are dying together. and they are dying now. silence is maintained.
so what does she do, after her diagnosis? she buys a journal, and she writes. she writes him letter after letter after letter. begging forgiveness. begging grace. begging courage.
the page that he found, that he read, this is what it said:
“mulder, i feel you close, though i know that you are now pursuing your own path. for that i am grateful- more than i could ever express. i need to know you’re out there if i am ever to see through this.”
i need to know you’re out there. a few months later, in demons, a gun to his chin on the floor of his childhood home, does she feel that he’ll be “out there”? she finds out she doesn’t have much longer to live, maybe weeks, in the next episode, and she doesn’t tell him. she maintains silence.
there’s so much discourse over the choices that mulder makes in demons…it was selfish, it was stupid, it was confusing…i see people ask all the time why he would willingly do something that causes everyone to kill themselves. the answer, of course, is that mulder wants to kill himself. that’s not new, we all watched pusher. (scully watched too). in redux it’s revealed that the “gethsemane” of the episode directly following demons is not scully’s inevitable and closely impending death, it’s mulder alone in his apartment with a gun.
i’m really uninterested in attempting to moralize these decisions…what’s “selfish” at the end of the world? i think demons makes people uncomfortable. to watch a dying woman care for her reckless partner. i also think that’s…the point.
demons is desperate. there’s an obvious desperation in mulder, of course, but also in scully.
throughout season four, we’re watching scully die. she’s getting smaller. she’s getting weaker. she’s getting sicker. but as it progresses, scully is realizing that mulder is dying too. and it all culminates in demons. and what can she do but be afraid? what can she do but get down on the ground and hold him? what can she do but write about what she fears will happen to him? she won’t be there.
nothing will ever be enough after elegy. and there’s nothing that he can do that’s enough. he can’t save her (so he thinks). and…he can’t solve the quest before she dies. he can’t give her the answers that she’s dying for. demons to me is such a last ditch effort. such a hail mary. she deserved to know the capital t Truth, before she’s gone. and i think they both know that maybe, when she is gone, it will never be found.
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