#some of the artists really did not understand the assignment

[cleromancy]

judd winick doing subtext is my favorite thing bc the man does not know the meaning of the word subtlety he just hits you with it like a truck. not just butch and sundance but erotic butch and sundance, literal queer iconography, and THAT being when roy breaks and kisses her to stop her from finishing that train of thought. & the butch and sundance reference also foreshadowing violence as an excuse that justifies tenderness/vulnerability btwn men. god.

[idolomantises]

Wasn't sure when it would be the best time to discuss this, but since the ending is drawing near... yes, Bugtopia is ending.

It was a decision I really wrestled with myself for months over it, before finally concluding that letting it end after 40 episodes was the better option. Just to be clear, webtoons did not force me to end the series. They even offered to give me a pay raise to continue the series. It was my decision due to a multitude of personal factors. I'll just repeat what I said on my patreon:

I just want to say, first of all, thank you all so much for patiently waiting for my series to release and for supporting my work as I began developing the series. Bugtopia was a series I genuinely loved and adored and it made me feel so incredibly happy that people were turning their heads towards a series about weird bugs and their natural lives.

However, as you can probably guess, it pains me to say that I am concluding the series after season 1. I had 4 seasons planned with new characters to introduce, but unfortunately, I cannot see myself continuing to work with Webtoons and I want to pursue other projects.

This decision was due to a compiling number of issues with the company, the final straw was when they had a mass layoff, fired my editor that I've been working with for two years, and did not inform me for a week, leaving me in the dark until they randomly assigned me with someone else. My new editor is great and I'm glad I'm working with someone so patient and understanding, but this decision to fire my previous editor, the one who got me the job to begin with, without prior warning made me feel disrespected and disregarded, and it killed all motivation I had for properly completing the series.

I also felt incredibly overworked, I was spending vacation days working on comics and avoiding time with family just so I could get something done for webtoons once I come home. I feel like so much time was being wasted away for a company that paid me so little that I had to work twice as hard building up funds on my patreon. Bugtopia just ate up so much of my time. The pay also didn't make up for it. It's commonly assumed that webtoons authors make about $800 for the episodes they do, but that's not true. In fact, you can make far less depending on the amount of panels expected for your contract. It doesn't help that the artwork i did for banners and promotions were all things I had to draw and didn't get paid for, and the work I gave was either tampered with or scrapped, making me feel like I spent more hours of my day wasting time. There were also comics I had to censor and scrap, likely due to another series being in hot water for its racially insensitive content. But it was just extra work I wasn't being paid for. It also frustrated me because I was seeing other series with far more explicit content getting away with a slap on the wrist (turns out you can't say "fuck" anymore without it being hit with a mature rating, disappointing!)

In all honesty, it just felt like webtoons needed me more than I needed them. I was making more money from patreon in a week than I was making from webtoons in a month.

Personally, while I don't really regret my time with Webtoons and met some great people along the way, I honestly don't think any artist should work with them. You will be severely overworked and underpaid, and will barely be featured in ads unless your series becomes an instant hit immediately. It doesn't really matter how successful you are, you're just a product to Webtoons, put yourself above the corporation.

I have tried my best to provide you all with a satisfying conclusion to Bugtopia, even if some episodes may feel rushed or incomplete, but I completely understand if the conclusion isn't to your liking and I do apologize, but I could not continue working on this series if this was the mistreatment I was going to continuously get. I owe a massive thank you to my editor and assistants for helping me complete the series, I truly don't think I could have ever finished it without them.

Though I am done with Bugtopia, that does not mean I want to stop projects entirely, so please don't feel bad for me. I have a lot of upcoming projects and ideas in the works, and I'm still continuing the Monsters and Girls series.

Will Bugtopia ever return... possibly. I retain complete ownership of the series after a few years, and I wouldn't mind continuing the canvas series (or possibly starting over). Unfortunately I don't think I can continue the Webtoon Original as it belongs to webtoons now, but never say never I suppose!

[katszumi]

bakugou katuski wasn’t sure how you managed to break his shell. he didn’t find himself surrounded by friends— shitty hair, raccoon eyes and dunce face forced themselves around him so they didn’t really give him a choice (though he secretly appreciated it).

but, you, tenacious, vexatious, obnoxious, you found your way to him. he despised how easily you spoke to him, like a mother to a toddler. do you know who he is?

it was first year. bakugou knew who you were, how could he not miss the clamorous sound, also known as your voice, every morning. you were aggravating, but you were tolerable. he realized that when you two were paired for an assignment. you were assertive, deeming that you could hold your own against his trivial insults. it wasn’t admiration that struck him that day. no, not even close. you just earned a little bit of respect.

soon after, you were attached to his hip. why? he couldn’t even answer that. every morning you’d meet him halfway at a local coffee shop to make your trip to ua, because “who wants to walk alone?” was your reasoning. he didn’t believe your statement, but he disregarded it. in fact, he looks forward to his morning walks with you every night, sometimes even waking up earlier than usual to buy the two of you a beverage before you arrived. a decaf coffee for himself and an iced coffee for you. “i was thirsty. it’s just a one time thing.” was his answer when you first asked, but you and him both knew it wasn’t.

you two had daily conversations: mainly about school, how deku has ticked him off for the millionth time, or some stupid shit you brought up to irritate him as a joke. you were the only person he could converse with and not feel completely enraged by the end of it. he supposed that your voice wasn’t so clamorous after all.

it wasn’t until after class 1a moved into dorms that he started to notice things about you. instead parting your hair in the middle, you did a side part. you often switched the two every couple of days. you preferred sweet candy over sour, but you were obsessed with spicy food. you routinely listened to the same artists; he makes a mental note to force you to listen to new music. you always exercised in the training room at six o’clock on the dot, never a minute before or after.

bakugou knew he was fucked when he began looking for you.

movie night in the dorms lounge? he consistently searches for your figure, because if you’re not there he’s simply not going. choosing partners for an assignment? of course, it’s you, it has to be you. who else would be able to bear with him? a new album was released from his favorite rock band? he waits to listen, because you had to be there.

he even found himself doing stupid shit for you. like holding your backpack for you, because ‘it makes your back ache’. cooking for you because you’ve overworked yourself, you needed the nutrients anyway. helping you study for the next test, groaning at how easy it is and you should understand it, but deep down, he doesn’t mind. he’d save a spot for you next to him on the couch whenever everyone would do a group activities, you don’t deserve to sit on the floor like the rest of the extras.

bakugou was gentle when he was around you, everyone noticed it too. at first, it was a revelation to his classmates, surprised that bakugou could do such sweet things. it felt as if bakugou was painted a new man on a perfect canvas. but, they soon realized it was only you he was this way towards. his aggressive behavior remained with the rest.

though, the man himself didn’t realize his transformation until denki mentioned.

“how come you don’t yell at y/n, but you scream at us all the time?”

bakugou’s face contorted with confusion. that wasn’t true. “the fuck you talking about, dunce face?”

he shrugged, “i don’t know. i just feel like you’re more chill with her than any of us.” mina and kirishima co-signed his words with a nod of agreement.

silence surrounded the room, bakugou’s eyes planted on the floor.

he wanted to say because it’s you, beautiful, determinate, fierce, alluring, you. but, instead, the corner of his lip quirked up into a smirk, his eyes dawning onto the golden-haired boy in front of him.

“she’s bearable.”

like always, his words failed to convey his true emotions. bakugou katuski knew you weren’t just bearable. oh no. you were a million things more than that; you were his anchor to his crazed storm.

[punkitt-is-here]

I went back, read the FAQ, figured out I was working with bad information, and would like to present an actually polite version of the previous ask.

The other women you were having the "AFAB trans woman" debate with haven't been able to let go of it,

because anons have been accusing them of gatekeeping and TERF politics for providing anecdotes of, basically, AFAB people identifying as trans women to mock or overthrow their social groups. Citations below:

https://strawberry-crocodile.tumblr.com/post/742523159739334656/aita-for-warning-new-transfem-friends-that-someone

https://necronatural.tumblr.com/post/754196456131428352/sorry-but-if-youre-afab-you-do-not-get-to-call

I understand that the brazen, all-caps-bold-text mockery of any ask on this topic is great for driving off hateful anons pointed at you,

but if you could lend some credit to @patricia-taxxon 's responses, for example, it'd help take some hate off her back and really hep build my respect for you as an artist.

This will be likely my last proper response on any of this so be chill about it

I really, genuinely do not care that much about this subject much at all. It is a passing thought to me. I made the original post, responded once or twice, and made a quesadilla. it was fucking delicious. I do not appreciate the way you have talked to me. If you're going to treat yourself like someone I have to earn the respect back of instead of a random stranger on the internet who was very brazen to me in a one-off inbox message, I am not going to care.

With that out of the way: I have read the citations you have listed. I do not care. I have read them, thoroughly considered their points, and I still do not give a shit. What you are pointing at here in the first one is an individual perpetrating shitty behavior. I am not saying that this is the case, but if there was an assigned-male-at-birth woman perpetrating the same information, it would become very apparent very quickly how obvious it is that the issue is not with their gender identity, it is with the information they are spreading. Anyone is capable of misinformation, and I am not going to shit on and belittle a completely niche gender identity because one woman on the internet fucked up one time. If I did that, I'd be a hypocrite and would not be practicing any sort of good faith towards people with gender identities I do not fully understand. This is a core tenant of how I approach queerness. I do not need to understand someone to respect them. I do not need to worry about how conservatives will see us. I do not need to worry about the larger queer community when one person is being off-putting. I am not a fucking square. I achieve a lot of inner peace by simply practicing what you have named "tits-and-beer gender liberalism".

The second post you have linked is also something that I have read. I have considered the points in said post. My stance has still not changed. I do not think ID'ing as a transfeminine person when you were assigned female at birth is an inherently transphobic concept. Plenty of people in my notes have described experiences that very clearly and understandably outline why they do or why others might identify with the concept. I fundamentally disagree with the response because I do not believe that it is a transphobic idea. I am a transgender woman and have been for about half a decade now. My relationship with femininity is complex, and I am a binary transgender woman. I think in the grand scheme of gender identities, switching from one binary to the other has been pretty easy for me mentally. I am not intersex, I have never detransitioned in any way, and my family has been incredibly supportive. I transitioned specifically for the euphoria I got from identifying as a woman. I still have a complicated relationship with womanhood. Someone who has gone through many more hardships than I have is probably going to have an even more complicated relationship with femininity, and that is why I have no trouble imagining why something like an AFAB trans woman would exist. Perhaps someone has a complicated relationship with gender in relation to their intersex status and feels that the journey that transgender women take more closely aligns with their own rather than cisgender womanhood. Perhaps they are non-binary and have still transitioned to a more feminine-leaning identity. Perhaps they have de-transitioned, but now they are irreversibly changed by that experience and they are, in a way of thinking, "trans-feminine" because they are transitioning back to femininity. It is not hard for me to think of reasons. It is not saying that trans women are not real women. I think it is very clear to me that "transfem" can easily describe an experience with femininity that differs from the cisgender experience. It is no less valid, it is simply different, as with all things.

"Transfem" can mean "a man transitioning into a woman", but it can also describe a complex approach towards self-identification. We can argue semantics all we want, but I do not care personally. I do not think transfem means transitioning from man to woman exclusively. I am a binary transgender woman, and I do not agree that that is all it is. My journey as a transgender individual has been very uncomplicated compared to others, but it is still an ocean deep. I do not want to reduce that journey and identification down to a simple "man become woman" because that betrays the inherent complexity of transitioning and figuring out yourself.

Ultimately, to me, it comes down to not giving a shit. I am rarely, if ever, going to meet an AFAB transfem person. You are rarely, if ever, going to meet an AFAB transfem person. It is an incredibly niche gender identity with a lot of baggage, as we have seen. It is never going to matter in the broad scheme of things that they exist because 99% of people are not going to bring them up in the wider conversation about transfemininity. I know that finding your identity can be a rough, arduous process. I am not going to deprive someone of the joy of self-discovery, even if it is a complex or contradictory idea. I do not fully understand neopronouns. I do not fully understand things like polyamory or he/him lesbians or AFAB transfems. I do not need to. In real life, you hang out with people and share food and good times together. None of this shit matters. If I am ever so lucky to meet someone with a contradictory or confusing identity, I am happy that my words may provide them comfort and that they won't live to hide themselves around me. Making someone feel like they have to hide parts of their self is the last thing I would ever want anyone to experience.

I have no beef with Patricia. I quite like her work. When I saw her response, I disagreed. I still do. I am not going to start agreeing with an idea I am expressly opposed to because someone asked. But it is not the end of the world. I would appreciate, if my followers are sending her harassment, that they fucking stop, because it's not that big a deal. If anyone from my post is sending anyone hate because of a public disagreement on that post, I ask you kindly to stop and go outside. I do not condone the behavior. It is not that big a deal.

I am going to go make myself a ham and egg sandwich and practice tits and beer gender liberalism now. I hope this satisfies your request in some way.

[daichiduskdrop]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

Chapter 13

Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader

Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,

Warnings: slight mentions of smoking

Words: 3565

A/N: Hi! I just wanted to hop in and say that I changed one of the beta classmates name. It sounded too similar to a character I've decided on earlier! I hope it's no issue for anyone. Thank you for being you! Lots of love, always

Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashion @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie @everyonehatesshani @iamkookiesforyou @dragons-flare @fangirl125reader @roseidol

Previous:

⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

Typing back your response, you tucked the phone away, realising the time for your lectures would be soon.

Packing everything up, you zipped your backpack and slung it over your shoulder, the small stitch keychain you had attached to it moving wildly.

Nodding slightly towards your classmates, they didn't seem to really even notice that you were leaving. You didn't mind; shrugging it off, you went on with your day.

You didn't necessarily have lectures where the teacher would be present and speak in front of a full class. Rather, you had been sent different documents, themes, and such every week that you had to study throughout.

The art history course wasn't necessarily your favourite by any means; you were always more into the actual creating process, but you also loved getting to know new artists and their works and analysing their processes and techniques.

So you made your way to the second floor. There were not many students in your way, as most of them were somewhere doing their own thing. Using your ID, you opened the library doors, walking in and shutting them gently behind you, making sure not to make a big ruccus.

The librarian that sat at the desk was an omega, like you were, but she was much older than you and never really spoke to you. You didn't think wrongly of it, understanding well why she was this way.

Mumbling a soft hello, she only glanced at you before she got back to filling out some of the documents laid before her. Walking around the desk, you made your way through the small walkways, stacked between tall rows of books.

You always liked going to the libraries; they smelled comforting to you, and with how quiet they were, it was just a safe space for you.

Making your way to the desks a few of the students were occupying, you took your seat at the furthest corner, next to a window that let in nice light.

You soon got to work, taking out the notebook and your notepad and pulled out the materials you had earlier printed out for yourself. Clicking the pen, you started writing, only having about 2 hours until you had to get back to your class.

You were paying close attention to your studies, making sure to finish on time. You weren't feeling like spending any of your free after-college time finishing up stuff you didn't do when you had the extra time for it.

You would much rather hang out with the packmates instead.

You forgot your earbuds at home, but luckily, the library was very quiet, so you were able to focus well. You liked listening to background audio when you worked on pretty much anything, but you settled without it.

Checking the time on your phone, it was already 14:51. You would have to get back to the studio by 15 at the latest. You still had to go over some stuff with your classmates, decide on who would do what, and finalise the whole poster concept.

Plus, you had to also work on your own assignments; not only did you have the „What is your problem?” theme, you still had to work on a few things for the ceramics and illustration course.

Closing the notepad and plucking your pencil case back into your bagpack, you collected all your stuff before leaving. Looking at your phone while walking, you opened the group chat again, noticing that they had replied by now.

Walking back downstairs, you took a seat at the big table once again. Most of your classmates were already littered all around, some typing in stuff on their own notebooks, others already painting at the studio stands, working on their solo works.

Walking over to Chin-Hae, you tapped the beta on his shoulder, trying not to make him jump in fright. He had a pair of black headphones over his ears, focusing fully on his sketchbook while he mapped out some ideas for his own projects.

Looking up at you, he pulled the earphones down, his eyes larger with wonder. „What is it?” He asked, not used to you coming to him.

„I was just wondering if you and Sun-Hi Unnie had time; we could go over the posters now." You murmured, rubbing at your arms, fingers hidden away.

Not answering you immediately, you saw him purse his lips before he looked towards where the other student was sitting, on the laptop typing.

„I guess we can do it now...” He mumbled, obviously not fully set on his decision, making you feel bad immediately.

„We don't have to,- if it's not the right time-." You tried to softly say it, but your voice must have been too quiet since the older student didn't react at all.

Sighing out loudly, he got out of his chair, took a few steps towards the other group member, and mumbled a few words to her before they both sat down next to each other.

With their stares on you for a second, you were confused, expecting them to come sit by the already arranged three chairs next to where the beta was sitting earlier, but guess not.

Jumping into action, you quickly took a chair from next to you and hastily carried it over to them, both of them already sitting close together with the girl's computer before them. Not sure where to exactly go, you just took a seat behind them, trying to see the screen yourself.

„Okay.. let me find the files for it quickly.” Sun-Hi said, holding the small mouse under her palm as she went through her files, opening a folder consisting of a few documents.

Clicking on the one titled "Poster Concepts," she let it load up, opening her Photoshop programme.

„...Do you guys have any ideas?” Turning in her seat, she looked over both of you, her hair well styled and pulled up in a claw clip. She always looked well put together. You admired that about her a lot.

It was quiet for a second, and soon both of the betas turned to look at you when none of them had spoken.

„...um.. I was thinking that since we have a quite colourful colour scheme, the writing should be just plain and simple so it's easy to read...”

You almost whispered, avoiding their eyes as much as possible. They always seemed just a bit too judgmental, especially since you were supposed to work on the project together.

Chin-Hae nodded, scratching the top of his head a little bit. „Yea, I mean that's... kinda obvious, but okay.” He answered, leaning back in the chair.

„Yea... And then for the actual concept, I was thinking we should just take a photo of one of the works we will exhibit; I think the works Heemin Chung-ssi provided for us would look good."

You said that, unsure of what they would think. Heemin Chung was quite a well-known artist who, after being messaged along with a few other local artists about being in their exhibition, didn't take much time to respond.

The group project then got a bit more serious, realising that it wouldn't be only the pack members of the school students visiting now. It might attract a lot more attention, and since marketing was a big part of the assignment, they knew they would have to incorporate this as much as possible.

„Good, yeah, I think that could work well, yeah. Will you do it then?” The girl asked you, one forearm resting over the back of her seat, looking at you with a sweet-looking smile.

You felt your eyes widen a little; there wasn't much time until you would have to get it finished. With only until about tomorrow or so, you knew this could get to be a bit of a time trap.

For god's sake, the list of all the artists in the exhibitions wasn't even finished yet!

„Yeah, I think you should do it; I'm sure whatever vision you have is... nice. We can go over it by tomorrow morning and adjust anything needed still.” Chin-Hae agreed, nodding his head.

„I'm not sure if I can—" You tried to say it, but it fell on deaf ears. At your complaints, the betas sighed out loudly, obviously annoyed with you, both of their scents suddenly heavier than before.

„Gosh. It's fine. Here, I'll send the file to your school email; just type it in.” Sun- He sighed out, already opening the mail app and pushing the laptop closer to you.

Unsurely, you typed in your school address, slumping back in the seat as you watched her look through her files, find the right one, and attach it to the email. After clicking send, the work was quickly transferred to your shoulders with no problems.

„Okay, great! Let's talk again in the morning.” Your classmate smiled, her teeth showing, bright and white. Nodding, you just decided to go with it; it wouldn't be too big of a deal-breaker for you, right? You would get it done just fine, like Unnie said.

Placing the chair back in its place, you went around the table again, sitting in your spot. Taking a big sip out of your half-empty water bottle, you knew you really had to thank Jimin for telling you about the syrup. It was very tasty.

Realising that you would just have to get to the poster after school, you now still had to work on your own projects, opening your laptop and going through all the emails you received pretty much every monday from your teachers regarding some feedback and suggestions.

Taking notes on your notepad, it didn't take long until the class got a bit more rowdy. Looking up, you noticed most of your classmates packing up; the time was 16:14.

You weren't that far in yet; you've only just read through the critiques for your illustration sketches so far. You would have to completely change two of your already well-thought-out pictures, which would add to some of your work.

Luckily, the teacher approved of the story book cover design you made. For one of the final semester projects, you chose to work on a book full of fables and stories that would be mostly for still very young pups.

You weren't used to making children's illustrations, but after reading the first one, you kind of fell in love.

It was a very cute story, in a way a bit sassy too, about the beginning of the world when a magician taught all animals how to act like themselves. A crab escaped, though, and started to play around with the sea instead, making giant tide waves appear out of nowhere.

With the humans complaining, the magician was quick to solve the issue. Taking the angsty, oversized crab to talk, he took away his shell. Feeling vulnerable, the animal turned whiny, blaming the humans for building their houses too close to the shore.

And so, he was given a pair of scissors, helping him cut up fruits and be more comfortable in the wild. He was allowed to be in the sea and also on land, but as a reminder of his mistakes, his shell would only last him 11 months of the year.

You just found it very cute and funny; with the constant whining and complaining from the sea animal, it was just very cute for you. And so, after you finished reading all the other 24 fables, you were sure that this was the perfect thing for you to work on.

Remembering Namjoon telling you to tell them in advance, you took your phone out once again, opening the group chat.

Even when you didn't get a response right away, you knew that they would notice in time. You weren't sure who would come take you, but with how insistent they were on giving you a lift once again, you knew that they would in fact come.

Smiling lightly to yourself, you opened up the next email, reading over it carefully.

 

Dear Miss L/N,

I have carefully observed your ceramic work on the theme of ideology, and I must say that it is quite thought-provoking. Your artistic exploration of this complex concept is commendable. In order to help you continue to grow as an artist, I would like to offer some critiques and suggestions that may further enhance your understanding and expression of ideology in your ceramic pieces.

Please keep in mind that these critiques are meant to be constructive and to inspire you towards improvement.

Composition

Your choice of composition in your ceramic work effectively communicates your conceptual ideas about ideology. The arrangement of forms and elements within each piece creates a visual narrative that engages the viewer. Well done!

However, in some instances, the placement of certain elements can be further refined to enhance the overall impact of your work. Consider experimenting with different arrangements to find the most compelling composition for each piece.

Craftsmanship

Your craftsmanship in shaping the ceramic forms is impressive. The level of detail and precision you have achieved adds depth and character to your work and allows your ideas on ideology to come to life.

However, in your earlier assignments, I noticed a few areas where the glazing could be improved. Be mindful of achieving a smooth and consistent application of glaze this time, as it will help to create a more polished final appearance for your ceramics.

Symbolism and Visual Language

The symbolism and visual language you have employed effectively convey your intended message about the theme; therefore, you are on track regarding that. The choice of symbols and their placement within each piece successfully create a dialogue between the viewer and the work.

To push your exploration of ideology even further, consider experimenting with different symbols or incorporating additional layers of meaning. This will deepen the viewer's understanding and create a more nuanced conversation around the theme. I carefully read through your written notes you sent me earlier, and you are following your visions well so far.

However, in some instances, certain elements within your work may distract from the core theme. Take a step back and evaluate each piece to ensure that every element contributes to the overall conceptual clarity of your message.

Keep up the exceptional work, and I look forward to seeing how your artistic journey unfolds.

Best regards,

Wan Sook

Sighing out, you jotted down a few notes. Your teacher for ceramics was quite strict but open-minded about the assignment messages. She always intended for her students to tell their own story and provide their own message, but she didn't let anyone slack off during the class either.

Standing up, you knew you would just have to finish everything up at home again; it was late enough and the sun would start setting in only a few hours at maximum.

All of your classmates have already left, so you just packed up your stuff, turned off the lights, and went to the school entrance.

Checking your phone for any notifications, you only saw one.

We? What was that supposed to mean? You thought only one would come to get you. They must have been busy today; they should focus on their work instead of coming to get you.

Furrowing your eyebrows slightly, you unlock your locker before you put on the jacket and the scarf, careful to tie ot around your neck tightly.

Walking to the entrance, you beeped your ID at the scanner, allowing you to walk through the barrier with no issues. With the glass doors sliding open thanks to the motion trigger, you walked out, walking down the few front steps slowly.

You noticed Sun-Hi and one of your other classmates, Haneul, standing near the entrance, leaning against a wall, smoking. You never got to speak with Haneul before; she reeked of a heavy alpha scent, and with how upfront she is, you were always just too shy to even approach her.

You didn't pay them much attention, only recognising their scents and the smell of smoke; you didn't even dare to pass them a glance. Instead, you walked towards the parking lot right in front of the school.

You couldn't see the car the alphas came in with earlier in the morning, but there were only about 8 cars parked, and compared to any of the other ones, the sleek and much bigger car struck your attention immediately.

Walking in the direction of the black Hyundai, you saw the front doors open before three men piled out quickly. Coming to you the fastest, Tae already had his arms outstretched and his long trenchcoat left unbuttoned.

His arms wrapped tightly around you right away, tucking your head gently underneath his mask covered chin. You could feel his chest rumble a bit in content. With his cheek rubbing over your hair gently, you also nudged his neck a little.

„My sweet babycheeks. How are you, baby? Ah,  I'm so glad to see you finally!” He proclaimed, but before he had time to say anything else, you were already pulled into a different pair of arms.

Gently brushing over your head softly, the alpha checked over your form, making sure you were fully okay after they had been absent for a little while. They were anxious about having you leave their sight.

„Come here, peaches; let me hold you for a little bit, cub.”

Jin didn't say much else, opting instead to hold you tighter and closer, one hand still rubbing over your head. He too scented you a little bit.

Pulling away after noticing the last man hover around for a bit, too shy to approach, he smiled at you finally, letting Yoongi also get his sweet greetings with you.

Turning to the last alpha, he beckoned you closer, having you take the few steps hurriedly before you hugged him yourself.

Exaggerating the huff he let out at you cuddling up to his chest, he soon let off and also pulled you close to him. Brushing a few locks behind your ear, he watched you fondly, also looking over at you.

All three of them made sure to subtly go over your scent glands, making sure you weren't in any distress or sadness.

Assured that your day went okay, even Yoongi soon rubbed his chin and knuckles over your face, gentle and content with you in his arms after a long day.

„My kitty. Alpha missed you, sweet baby. Were you a good girl today?” Nodding subtly, you felt your cheeks heat up slightly and your stomach flutter a little.

„Good.”

Was all he answered, pulling you towards the opened car. Waiting for you to enter first, he got in the back seats with you, and even if there was free space next to the window seats, he was quick to pull you to the middle one.

Patting you on the head gently, he pulled the car door closed, shushing you at your soft whines. „It's only for safety, kitty, I promise. Buckle up now.” Yoongi ruffled up your hair a little, smiling at you softly.

With Taehyung driving and Jin sitting next to him, the car soon went on its way. As you were going out of the parking lot, you noticed both of your classmates looking at the vehicle next to the entrance.

„How was your day, cub?” Jin asked after turning on some soft music to play in the background. He turned in his seat a little, his puffer jacket crinkling a little.

Looking out of the window, you thought of your day. Nothing too bad happened, so it was a good day—great even.

„It was alright. I still have to finish up some stuff for tomorrow, though.” You mumbled the last part, picking a little at your fingernails.

„What do you have to do?” Taehyung asked, only sharing a short glance with you through the back mirror.

„Just one poster; I'll tell you about it later.” You whispered, too tired to worry about it now.

„Okay baby. Do you want to go to your place and stay there for the night?” The alpha asked, noticing how wrecked you looked.

Even when they would always have you choose what you would want to do yourself, they did secretly hope that you would stay with them tonight, and the nights continuing on.

You seemed to be settling in so well, and after seeing in what part of the city your apartment complex was located, they knew that it would be a bit better for you. There was no such thing as rushing with the second gender's needs.

„I can't stay tonight...? With you guys?” You whispered again, your disappointment and sadness clouding up in the small space, making all of them alert suddenly.

„No, no, no, baby. Of course you can babycheeks; you can always stay with alphas.” The youngest was quick to correct himself, making sure not to be misunderstood. He was just worried about them moving on too quickly with you.

It really was considered normal in a lot of packs to have the mate they were currently courting move in pretty much right away.

They wouldn't mind you doing the same, but they understood well that easing into it over time would work better for you.

„Alphas will always take care of you, sweet kitten. How could we not? You are the sweetest little 'mega around kitty.” The alpha next to you said, his voice final, making sure to not leave you in doubt.

Especially since he was telling the truth.

⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

Next:

[charles-simmons-fanfiction]

Drawings - Todd Anderson / Neil perry

Description: lately Todd has started to get into drawing, mostly just when he's bored. But nothing inspires him like his best friend simply existing does. [Fluff, oneshot, 2,1k words]

This is the first fic for this blog, so please let me know if you like it, it would mean the world to me. Hope you enjoy it <3

What started as a sunflower doodle on the corner of the page was now a whole drawing of a garden. Todd knew he should be focusing on what the teacher was saying, Latin was not really an easy class, but the scribbles were simply more interesting at this point.

Especially now with the dead poets reunions, Todd grew to really like art, any type of art. He wasn't the best at it, which bothered him more than he'd like to admit, but in essence, he liked it. There was something about art that he could not quite comprehend. A way people connected with it, expressing feelings that he could barely understand. And that's not even talking about the skills art takes. Charlie, for example, was not just good with words, but also played the trumpet well.

"If only he could share half his confidence with the rest of school. There would be not one insecure person left" Todd thought. It was as annoying as it could be impressive, and he couldn't deny a strong sense of jealousy towards Charlie in a way.

Soon there was not much to add on the garden in his notes and he started looking for something else to draw. Nothing seemed to catch his interest though.

Then he looked at the friend sitting next to him, Neil Perry. He was truly an amazing and passionate artist, yet what Todd felt wasn't jealousy, but rather a strong feeling of admiration. Neil somehow was so perfect at everything. Smart, talented, nice, good looking. And although Todd was not one to even pay attention to looks, even he could notice how charming Neil was. His jawline, his hair, his so-expressive eyes. And, especially, his smile. The way it always felt so warm, so genuine and bright. Now that was something Todd wished he could capture.

His hands moved quickly, making a small sound of the graphite against the paper as he drew. The scribbles started to look like a face, surely, but it was still only barely recognizable as who it was supposed to be.

"Todd" The familiar voice talking to him made him snap out of his thoughts. He looked at Neil and instinctively hid his notebook as he muttered a "What?".

"Look at the board, there's an assignment to do." There was, in fact, an assignment to do. Todd hadn't even noticed. He embarrassedly thanked Neil and rushed to open his book.

After class he went back to the drawing. There was something so off about it. It was a boy, just not Neil. He tried to fix it a few times before realizing he would have to start over.

And he did. He started over, more than once.

Every chance he had to pull out his notebook would be used. If possible, he would try to stay somewhere he could see his "reference". It's not that he didn't know what Neil looked like by heart, he did, it's just that it was nice looking at him. Comforting, almost. Even when they didn’t talk, it was nice to simply have him there, somewhere he could see, or feel.

It might be stupid, but for Todd it felt like everything about Neil could make beautiful art. From the most special moments to the most mundane ones. Like when he wakes up in the morning, his hair all messy and his eyes sleepy. Or when he is so focused on what he’s reading that it’s like he’s unaware of everything around him. Or when he laughs. Especially when he laughs. 

Regardless of Todd's efforts, though, the drawing never looked exactly like Neil. Even if it resembled him, it didn't have his essence, his charm. He got more and more frustrated, and, at some point, he got annoyed and gave up. He threw the notebook on his bed, there was homework to get done anyway.

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That afternoon, Neil had spent with the others. In theory, for studying. In reality, to chat and hear Knox talk about the girl he's in love with for the millionth time. They had invited Todd, who denied. It was always a shame when he did that, but not a surprise either. Neil understood he needed that time alone.

By the time he got back to their dorm, it was already dark outside. He opened the door carefully, expecting to find Todd asleep.

As expected, he was asleep, but with his head on the desk, which was full of books and paper. "He must've slept while studying again." Neil thought, unsurprised, as he dropped his bag on the floor. Just like he always did when this happened, he gently picked Todd up and put him in his bed. He also made sure to grab a blanket for him.

Before he turned off the lights, he took a second to admire his roommate. For someone who was that anxious while awake, it was nice seeing him completely peaceful. Neil almost didn't notice the open notebook on the corner of the bed, probably forgotten there. He picked it up to put back in its place, but his attention was caught when he noticed it had drawings, not words.

The first page had a drawing of a garden. Each flower looked different, and the style was inconsistent, in a unique way. Neil smiled,"I didn't even know Todd liked to draw", as he turned the page.

There was the drawing of a boy, who he didn't recognize, smiling and looking at the distance. Neil hesitated, not feeling sure if this was something he was supposed to be seeing. It was the curiosity, added to a light feeling of jealousy, that made him turn another page.

This time it was a full body drawing, with not too many detail, of a boy in a Welton uniform. It was clear it had been erased way too many times, and the paper was almost tearing. It could be anyone, really, but it bothered him a little that he didn't know who. He turned the page one more time, there were some doodles, probably for practice.

This was probably an invasion of Todd's privacy, so he told himself he would close the book after just one more drawing. Neil turned the page one more time, and when he saw it, it took him a few instants to process. It had a few drawings, all of the same person. Him.

Multiple drawings of him, in different angles, clothes, expressions. Under each drawing there were notes in a poorly written handwriting. "Why is it his smile that never looks similar??", "His nose looks better than that", "Wow, he's the only person who manages to make reading glasses charming" were some of those notes, along with some self criticism for next drawings.

Neil quickly closed the notebook, slightly blushing, and feeling like he had definitely just seen something he was not supposed to. He took a look at Todd, checking if he was still asleep.

In a way, he was extremely flattered. And more than anything, he couldn't help but feel very loved, which was probably stupid, those were just drawings. It still touched him a lot though. To have someone look at you and see something worth making art about. He tried containing his smile. No one was there to see it, but he still felt embarrassed of how much he was smiling.

It was getting late, and he needed to sleep. Neil glanced at Todd one last time. It took everything in him not to hug him, that would be weird, but he didn't see any harm on a small kiss on the forehead. He gently stroked Todd's hair as he did it, feeling relieved his roommate was asleep.

"I love you so much" Neil whispered, and went to bed before he could even think too much of what he said.

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Todd woke up in his bed the next day, instead of at his desk. As usual, he simply assumed he had walked to his bed on his own and forgotten about it.

Neil was already up, finishing some work before the class started.

"Good morning" Todd yawned, slowly getting off of bed.

"'Morning" Neil didn't look at him, just kept focused on what he was doing. "Have you slept well?"

"I did, actually. Had a nice dream for once. You?"

"I slept well too"

His answers sounded dry. Todd thought it was weird, but didn't question it. He got up and started getting ready. When he reached out to get his notebook, he noticed it wasn’t on his bed anymore. Instantly distressed, he began looking for it, taking off the sheets from his bed, then looking under it.

"What are you looking for?"

"My notebook! I could swear I had left it here!"

"What does it look like?" Neil looked around too, checking on the desk. "Is it this one?"

Todd's eyes widened and he quickly took the book back from his hands.

"Is that like a diary or something?" Neil asked, taken aback by how nervous Todd had gotten.

"Yeah, kind of" He threw the notebook in his bag and closed it. "You didn't open it or anything, right?"

There was a slight hesitation, or maybe Todd just imagined it. "No, I didn't. Don't worry"

"Good. Thanks." He sighed in relief, grabbing his bag and giving him a small wave as he left the room, feeling like he had just escaped what could’ve been a very awkward situation.

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It was a few days later, that Neil and Todd were sitting on the grass next to the lake and doing some physics homework. Somehow there was always something to get done. Not that Neil was complaining, it wasn't that bad as long he didn't have to do it alone.

Soon the sun would set and it was starting to get cold. It was a nice feeling, both of them doing their own work and only sometimes asking the other for help to understand the questions, but that was it.

"Hey Todd" Neil was the one to break the comfortable silence.

"Hm?"

"I need to confess something" Todd looked up at him, now feeling slightly anxious as Neil spoke. "I did go through your notebook that day. I apologize for doing that, and for lying."

There was complete silence again, now with a certain tension between them. Todd didn't look at him at first, nor did he say anything for a few seconds.

"I'm gonna jump into this lake" He said embarrassedly.

"Your drawings are very good, by the way" Neil tried to lighten the mood. "You never told me you liked to draw"

Todd put all his stuff in his bag, ready to leave, before Neil grabbed his wrist, lightly, barely holding it.

"If you're embarrassed about the drawings of me, please don't be, they're great and I think it's sweet-"

"Please, stop talking" Todd was blushing deeply, still looking anywhere but Neil's eyes. "I'm not mad at you, but don't go through my stuff"

"I won't, I promise" His hand was still on Todd's wrist, he didn't want to let go. Eventually, Todd sat back down again. "I meant it, I think it's very sweet you drew me"

"It's embarrassing"

"No, it's lovely."

Todd looked at him this time, looking for any sign of a negative reaction, but there wasn't any. Neil looked at him with so much adoration, and Todd could swear he had never felt this appreciated by anyone.

Neil's hand moved down to Todd's hand, hesitantly. Their fingers intertwined as both of them simply kept eye contact, admiring the person in front of them as if they were art. Because they were.

"I should write some more poems for you. To make it even, y'know"

“More?”

“Yes. More.”

Todd smiled warmly.

The sun was now almost set, and it was getting dark. They probably couldn't be seen from too far. Neil took a deep breath, taking courage, and gently put his hand on Todd's face, then leaned in and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

"Out of all the artists in the world, you're my favorite" He whispered into his ear.

Todd squeezed Neil's hand lightly, reciprocating the affection. "And you're mine."

And that night, they walked back to their dorm still holding hands, chatting lightly, and generally enjoying the other's presence. For they were both the artists and the muses, and they knew that.

[tavyliasin]

Fanfiction and Profit

Hello loves~ I’ve seen this pop up now and then, about fanfiction and commissions, profit and whether we can pay someone to write the fic we want to read. Unfortunately, I have to be the bearer of bad news:

You absolutely, unequivocally, cannot and should not pay or be paid for fanfiction.

Why not? Well, let’s go over this topic with a look at what fan works are, how we can use them, and where these rules came from.

Why can’t we profit from our hard work? Is this fair?

There are a lot of reasons, and I want to start off with saying this is not about whether it is fair or right, it is a simple statement of the rules by which our hobby, our passion, is permitted to live and thrive. The law does not consider fanfiction to be transformative enough to be legal to profit from, and you will find that AO3 itself explicitly does not allow payment, commissions, or any direct payment sites to be linked on the platform.

I’ll say that one again - it is fully against AO3’s Terms and Conditions to advertise any paid work on the website. You will be warned by moderators if you’re found doing this, and may risk entirely losing your account.

It’s essentially legally complex. The only reason we are allowed to write and share fanfiction at all is because it is non profit. We can’t be sued for making money from someone else’s intellectual properties if we’re not making any money from it.

Why are fan art, songs, and other mediums allowed to profit when we can’t?

This is another piece of nuance for you, which not everyone will agree with. Art is considered to be more transformative, and is generally viewed differently as a medium.

But I will also say here we can look at it purely from a business angle, the legal side that the IP rights holder will be viewing it from too: Fan art can often attract people in to a fandom, to find out who this interesting character is or what the source of the art was. It adds profit to the original creator by bringing new fans to the table.

Fanfiction, on the other hand, is almost exclusively read by people who have already consumed the original media and are looking for new stories. I would argue it is exceptionally rare for someone to read fic before they’ve engaged with the source material. Fic often relies on the reader knowing the characters and stories already, so we can shorthand the exposition and everyone understands what’s going on and why.

When did this become the rule?

The “Elders” of fanfiction will give you a thousand yard stare with this one, because it largely comes back to JRR Tolkien’s estate and Anne Rice. Both were very unhappy with fanfiction existing at all, and are the reason why you might well still see disclaimers at the top of some fics mentioning that all characters, worlds, etc belong to the original rights holders and the work is one of fanfiction that the author does not profit from in any way. Tolkien’s estate and Anne Rice both set legal challenges against fanfic writers, threatening the entire hobby and setting legal precedents at the end of it for what we can and cannot do. What we can do? Write transformative works, based on existing IPs, and share them for free with no profit or money exchanged at any point.

But what about exchanges?

You can offer to exchange fic for fic, or swap art and fanfic. This isn’t getting paid because you aren’t profiting from it, but if you want to encourage someone and be encouraged in return, that is a potential way to do it. So an artist might draw a scene, character or pairing that you love, whilst you write a fic for them. It’s swapping a gift for a gift in that way, and although you could assign monetary value to commissioned art, you aren’t actually exchanging money. It might seem like a bit of a loophole, but it is one that rights holders shouldn’t be able to be upset by really. I can’t see myself how a legal challenge could be raised for damages on that basis, so it should be safe. If you’re not an artist yourself but do want to see something specific from a writer, you could offer to commission art on their behalf in exchange for the fic. It’s imperfect, but in the end you’re supporting both an artist and a writer in that exchange, even if the writer is only gaining a product instead of money, as long as they're not selling it on again.

What if I want to commission someone to write something I want to read?

Well, unfortunately, if you want them to write fanfiction, that’s not possible. You may find some writers are willing to take on prompts, though! Tumblr can be a good one for that, as writers sometimes specify that their ask boxes are open for fic prompts that they might consider writing. You can also try approaching a writer who has written in a style you like and as if they would be willing to write a piece based on your idea or pairing, though you should double check what pairings and topics they’re comfortable writing first.

Isn’t there anything I can do with my writing skills?

Plenty of things! You can use fanfiction as a way to warm up into writing skills in general. Get some practice, feedback, and validation to know you’re on the right track. It’s a wonderful low pressure way to get a feel for fiction writing in general and work out what kinds of stories you’d like to tell.

In some cases, you might be able to take a fanfic you have written and rewrite it to become something original - this might need a lot of work in changing enough names and details for it to become removed from the IP that it was initially based on, but this is certainly something people have done in the past. Most famously, 50 Shades of Grey (my opinions of which are astronomically low for so many reasons, but this is not the place for those) began life as a Twilight fanfiction. 

Writing original fiction will always have its own unique challenges, and is a different experience to fic. For one thing, you need to establish your setting and characters because your readers don’t know them yet. Another that many find tough is going through the writing process without any feedback from beta readers or getting kudos from published chapters. Then, of course, publishing is its own beast… But if you want to profit from writing, then you need to either have a paid role as a writer on a specific IP project, or you need to write your own works and look at getting them published (the main 3 options would be self pub, indie publishers, or trad pub - they all have their pros and cons for different things, so it’s something to do proper research on before committing to any one path).

I found someone offering paid fic, what should I do?

I recommend gently warning them. Not everyone is aware of the risks, so giving them a kind heads up is probably the best bet. You can even direct them to this post if you like, to save re-explaining it all. If they don’t listen, then unfortunately you may need to report their account to AO3 so the moderators there can give them a more formal warning that might be taken more seriously. I have no doubt that the AO3 mods will be able to explain it more clearly and concisely than I can, too.

I have taken payment for fic in the past, what should I do?

First, I'm not here to blame you. Not everyone knows the rules or history - that's why I'm here to share the explanation for anyone who didn't know~ But what you need to do now is immediately stop any offers to take commissions for fanfiction. Scrub your AO3 of any links to payment sites, and remove any reference to "commission" or "paid work" in your writing wherever it is shared. Clean everything up so you are safe from any legal repercussions, and you may need to refund any incomplete commissions. Take a look at the other ways you might be able to earn from your writing, or options for exchanges you might be happy with for writing something bespoke for someone else. We can't change what has already been done, but we can move forward when we know better so we can do better.

Conclusion? Where are we with fic and profit?

The bottom line is the same as the top - for the safety of our fandom communities, we must never accept or offer payment for fanfiction. Doing so not only risks the individual author, but the entire community as a whole. We might not agree with it, and that’s not the conversation I’m here to have, but this is the way things are. It’s not something that can be changed, so we should respect the playground we are in and take care not to end up having the whole place torn down. Fanfic writing is a hobby, and one that brings us a whole lot of community, joy, creativity, and a way to extend the love of a franchise far beyond the ending of the canon content. We get to create and play with all kinds of toys in the toybox in whatever ways we like - that’s special, and I feel we should respect and protect that.

So, we’ll end it here - go, have fun writing, build your skills and style, find and delight your readers, just keep in mind everything that got us here and everything in the future that we want to preserve~

[cleolinda]

Here's another song I had wanted to write about: Hozier's "Movement." It is a fact of my existence that I get into a musical artist/band about 10 years after everyone else does, and then they become 30% of my personality (see also: Florence and the Machine). So I didn't really get with the program until Wasteland, Baby, and even then, it was for an unusual reason.

When did this album come out, spring of 2019? I had spinal surgery in early 2018. A discectomy, L4/L5; the disc had gradually become herniated due to a fall I'd had at a convention. My surgeon was required to warn me that surgery would come with a (low) chance of paralysis; it was my choice to make. After two weeks of seizing up in pain every hour or so, confined to my bed—hydrocodone did nothing—I chose the scalpel. Even then, it was another four weeks before he could work me into the operating schedule. Trust me when I say, no matter how I'm doing now, I do not regret having that surgery.

But he also told me, "You will always be a person who has had spinal surgery." Since anything was better than screaming every time I moved, I didn't fully understand what he meant until a year or so later, when I was still in pain—a chronic but lower-grade pain that came and went depending on how much activity I dared try that particular day. It was infinitely better than before. And, but, yet, I still deal with that chronic pain today. I will always be that person.

"Walk," he told me. I had a packet of therapy exercises to do, sure, but he was firm on this point. "That's the main exercise you need. Just walking." Which I couldn't do at first—I didn't have to learn to walk again or anything, but I was in a wheelchair early on, then on a wheeled walker for a couple of months. I also have inherited neuropathy in my feet, which was exacerbated by electrically painful sciatic nerve damage down my right leg while I waited for my slot in the surgery calendar. (I swear to God I will start talking about music soon.) I only walk across the longest side of my backyard. I don't leave it and walk around the neighborhood, because I generally have about two minutes upright to get back to the house once my feet start hurting.

So I had been struggling with my walking assignment for about a year when "Movement" came out. Of course it's literally about physically moving (and emotionally being moved), but that wasn't what captured me. The song starts out slow and reflective; it was a gentle tempo for a time when I couldn't walk very fast, and I still use it as a warm-up today. But there are two other things I love about it. One, the willow tree in the chorus, as I was walking my little runway back and forth under a canopy of wild water oak draped with wisteria, looking up into the sun through the leaves and snowflake flowers of an overgrown cherry laurel. Sound met landscape.

But the other thing is how—generous? accepting?—the words are of the "you" of the song. This person, the lyrics say, does not have to be a virtuoso dancer like Fred Astaire or Sergei Polunin (who's in the video up there). Instead, "you're Atlas in his sleeping, and when you move, I'm moved." My absolute favorite part is,

Move like grey skies Move like a bird of paradise Move like an odd sight come out at night

What the fuck even are these lyrics. I can't. That's so good. You ever sit there as a writer and think, I'm so mad I didn't come up with that? Just the pure unexpectedness, "I'm telling you how earthshakingly amazing this person is. Like a beautiful willow, like a rare bird, like some weird-ass cryptid in the night, I don't even know what that was about but I love it." What even. So good.

And I was for sure an odd sight shambling back and forth across the back of my yard: five minutes at first. Then ten the next week, working my way up to thirty, still in a dull roar of constant pain a year into my recovery. But this is a song that says, your efforts to move are moving, whatever movement is natural for you; you may be sleeping just now, you may be moving without moving, but you are wonderful not in spite of being strange in your movements, but because of it. The song always feels like a friend walking along with me, no matter how many setbacks I have, or how slow I have to go.

Anyway, Unreal Unearth comes out next Friday. The five songs Hozier's put out so far are ridiculously good, and I've scheduled a couple of months to be completely feral about it. When the weather is less dangerously hot, we'll find out which songs are good to move to.

[aubadeatelier]

Happy 20th Anniversary D. Gray-man!

On 31 May 2004, an amazing journey began with Allen Walker making his way to the European Branch of the Black Order as a new exorcist.

And now, it is 31 May 2024, 20 years of a still on-going journey. A lot has happened and changed and yet, he keeps walking.

Happy Birthday, D. Gray-man! And thank you for everything you've brought to me and so many others!

This post contains the pieces I did for the D. Gray-man 20th Anniversary Zine. 1 Party Doodle and 2 Redraw Project pages. Please enjoy! To see the whole zine, please access the zine through the link below to the project tumblr!

✦ D. Gray-man 20th Anniversary Zine ✦

Please make sure to take a look at the whole zine! I had the greatest honor to work with more than 100+ amazing artists across the world. It would mean a lot to me and all those who worked on this zine to have our work seen together as one!

(PS. I asked a funny little question in the Party Doodle section of the zine!)

[Beyond this point are my pieces and some fun facts!]

Party Doodle || A Celebration from 35 Years Ago featuring from bottom left, Mana D. Campbell, Nea D. Campbell, ???, Cross Marian, and Timcampy. ✦ I originally made this celebration doodle with the intention of just drawing Nea, ???, and Timcampy. But upon popular demand and the power of friendship (shoutout to Hana Hazel, Kanin, and Sabhamun), I ended up adding Cross Marian and Mana! And honestly, the additions were a great idea and really make the piece feel more lively and fun! (Also we need more Campbell brothers content damn it. I wanna see them happy!) ✦ Also, if any of your are up-to-date at this point, you know Chapter 251 coming out shook so many things including this piece that was already done when it released. But! I think it's fun to keep it as is as a relic of the pre-251 era. (Who knows? Maybe I'll make a fixed version!)

Redraw Project Page 01 || Chapter 04. Page 119. ✦ The first redraw page I received for assignment! I ended up liking the page, because it felt to me an integral establishing page for the series' themes. I may have gotten a little overboard with how I wanted to interpret the page, but I thought originally I would not be doing a second page and thus, wanted to put a lot of effort. In D. Gray-man, Akuma are created when a person makes a deal with the Millennium Earl. More often than not, the person has no idea what this deal entails, only that they can bring their loved one back from the dead if they agree to it. But what happens when the person is aware or knows not to accept the Earl's deal? And we receive a heart-wrenching, but understandable answer. To have the knowledge of the Earl's tricks does not automatically save a person. The Earl preys on the vulnerable. He appears and makes his offer to those in the deepest pits of despair and grief. That is how he got Leo. He was just a kid who lost his mother. He may have known more about the Earl and Akuma, because of his friendship with Jean, but when you are grieving kid-- what do you do when someone promises you they'll bring back your mother who was taken from you so suddenly? It is difficult to say no. ✦ The books that frame the piece are meant to convey this emphasis of knowledge and study-- the days Jean and Leo spent reading through Jean's father's books and notes about the Earl and Akuma with intention to patrol their town and keep people safe. Ultimately, a book page is the last panel, showing a representation of Leo and the Earl at a grave as Leo becomes an example of a person who takes the Earl's deal and whose body is taken by an Akuma. ✦ The blue tones of Jean and the Akuma were on purpose made to contrast the warmer tones of Jean and Leo's days together. ✦ It was crazy getting to draw an Akuma's face. It was a challenge to try and draw kids, but I ended getting through it pretty well. ✦ There are a few silly easter eggs in the open books. I put a small anniversary message in one. And in the other, I tried to sketch Cornelia and the Campbell Estate with the lyrics of the 14th's song. A nod to some content in the later parts of the series.

Redraw Project Page 02 || Chapter 01. Page 38. ✦ Originally, the plan was I only would do 1 redraw page and 1 doodle, but we needed fill-ins and I took a shot at it! ✦ When I found out it was a page from Chapter 1, I was ecstatic! I had originally wanted to do one from the chapter, but they were high in demand which was more than understandable. ✦ Unlike my first redraw page, I decided to be a little more simplistic with the layout. This layout is not too far off from that of the Katsura Hoshino's, but I made a few changes such as certain angles, drawing characters closer to emphasize faces. ✦ I am not the strongest with backgrounds and drawing buildings, but I ended up enjoying the challenge of it all. Thankfully, a lot of other artists in the project tackled the building and referenced the original page, the pages and sketches of the building or interior by other project artists, and the anime to ready myself to tackle it! ✦ The spirals of the Akuma bullet gave me trouble at first, but then I ended up enjoying it as I figured it out. ✦ This page was overall a big joy to play with as it challenged me with backgrounds, certain effects, and word bubbles.

And with that, this concludes the tour of my work on the D. Gray-man 20th Anniversary Zine. I have so much to say about this series and what it means to me, but I will try not to make this post horridly longer.

D. Gray-man is the series that made me fall in love with storytelling and art. It showed me something that filled an emptiness I felt. It gave me joy and company at a time where I felt unsure who I was and felt like an outcast. My resolution after this project is to continuously grow better at my stories and art. I hope to make something as meaningful to myself and others as D. Gray-man is.

Happy 20th Anniversary D. Gray-man! I hope and pray for more wonderful chapters and for there to be a lovely conclusion someday. For now, let us keep walking together!

[blazehedgehog]

Did you watch the matttt video about Ken Penders and his contributions and backstory about the Sonic comic?

So one thing that strikes me is that a lot of this video seems to be taking Ken Penders word at face value. Now, Ken is not really known to be a liar, but that's not what I mean. I mean this video is produced from the perspective that everything Ken did was right and good.

And let it be known that I've been the kind of person who will tell you that early Ken Penders work is fine, actually, and it only becomes a problem when he starts to take too much ownership. This video does what it can to spin all of that in the most positive light possible, focusing more on Ken's intentions rather than the end results. It gives Ken every benefit of every doubt, which is nice, and a fresh perspective compared to the (at times, undeserved) dogpile he normally gets...

...But the video ultimately frames this as Ken either being "A creator securing the rights to his work or a vindictive artist getting his revenge after being fired" and nowadays I don't think it was either of those things.

I always focus on an early interview Ken Penders gave in the late 90's where he straight up admits he's writing for a licensed book and owns nothing (I've tried finding this interview again and it's lost in all the noise of Ken's lawsuits and publishing and whatever*). But he knew the assignment, and he knew the rules of that assignment. Whether there was a contract for that or not, that is the job Ken took, and the limitations behind that job, and there was a point he understood that and knowingly worked within that space.

At some point Ken Penders changed his mind and decided he could take ownership of this stuff. That he was no longer writing for a licensed book somebody else owned, and he was writing his book that he owned. When a loophole presented itself where he could establish real legal ownership, he pounced on it and turned it into the linchpin of an entire business model.

I don't really see that as revenge, and I'll never believe Ken deserves ownership of these characters, because they only exist in connection to someone else's license, something he demonstrated an understanding of at one time in his life.

There is absolutely no interrogation of this side of Penders in this video, and very little push back on statements he makes.

What I see is a man who accidentally got too close to a license he didn't own, and now refuses to let go. He poured his heart into it, but has not been rewarded for doing that, because generally people didn't like it (another crux of what this video avoids saying). Unfortunately for the rest of us, everyone around him is too unprepared to stop him from sinking his claws in deeper, and deeper, and deeper.

We live in a world where he continues to assert himself more and louder whether anyone actually likes it or not. And even if he never wants to admit it, he is irrecoverably poisoning the thing he poured his love into.

* Oh hey, I found the source. It comes from a tumblr blog on here quoting Ken Penders from somewhere, but doesn't attribute it to anything specific. I'd assume it's probably from his personal forums, which have been wiped and reformatted several times over the last 25 years.

[yuikomorii]

I know Yui doesn’t look like a child but I’m blaming this on those artists that draw her like one in comparison to the Diaboy. Even in the manga, I love it but some of the illustrators made her look like a 14 year old, while the Diaboy looks around 20. Ayato’s More Blood manga and Laito’s HDB one make her look her age but the other styles don’t suit her, I think. This is just my add tho, you don’t have to answer this! 😅💖

// I get you, Anon. I've seen such artists, and to be honest, they make me a bit uncomfortable as well. The DL manga has some beautiful artstyles, but some of them make Yui look much younger than the particular Diaboy, to the point that she genuinely resembles a child compared to them. :P

In this case, I believe Shu and Reiji are the best examples. Yui looks super cute in those styles, but I think they made her look too little? I understand having a cutesy artstyle, but it's obvious the artists were capable of drawing characters in a more mature way if they wanted to (no hate intended).

I also believe Laito and Ayato's artists did a great job in terms of making Yui look her age. I really like Yuma's MB manga artstyle, but I think Ayato's one is the most similar to Yui's canon looks uwu.

However, we should keep in mind that certain Diaboys look much older than their assigned age; as a result, Yui isn’t child-like; rather, they appear far too mature. ^^”

[chlmvqn]

-~ calls ~-

description: being in a long distance relationship with your boyfriend, minghao, has never been easy. what happens when he suddenly leaves you on read and doesn't reply to you for hours? pairing: xu minghao (the8) x reader genre: fluff warning: vocal affection from hao ; a healthy relationship ; ldr ; a very understanding relationship author's note: jun has a short appearance in this one! also, feel free to leave some requests:))

you lay on your couch, staring blankly at the ceiling. you were stressed as it is. with exams coming up, assignments piling and your bills ready to kill you, your head has been filled with negativity for a few weeks now. your mind has been packed with nothing but trouble.

and you didn't know what to do.

another thing that had been bothering you was why your boyfriend, minghao, hadn't texted you for exactly 7 hours already.

yes, you're very well aware that his schedule is pretty tight, but he could at least reply to your messages. you weren’t a clingy girlfriend or whatsoever, it just seemed unusual that he hasn't texted you back until now.

every once in a while, you would take a peek at your phone, hoping to see a pop-up notification from your lover.

but nope.

you sat up to get a snack from the kitchen. since you didn't know how to cook, you just heated up some leftovers from yesterday's meal.

your meals and routine aren't exactly healthy-- resulting in your body being so.

grabbing a plate from the drawers, you placed it on the counter and went to get some coffee. you sat on the stool, enjoying your small snack whilst scrolling through your feed.

you still couldn't help but feel uneasy knowing your lover hasn't contacted you for hours. finally having enough, you called him.

you always avoided calling him since, again, you're aware of how busy he is and how strict his university is when it comes to distractions.

minghao– or in which you call him, hao, was in another state. the both of you used to live in the same place, but ever since college, he moved out and went to his dream university. yes, it did cause some conflict between the two of you-- the both of you didn't even talk for a week and a half. Hao was aiming to be an artist, and that really inspired you to work hard, kinda. his goal was one of the hardest ones to achieve, and his determination and passion for it made you fall in love with him. so why stop him pursuing his dreams?

the ringing kept echoing in your ears, it drove you crazy.

why aren't you answering?

finally hearing a click sound, you couldn't help but arch your lips upwards.

"hao?" you call out.

"wayen? hey!" a different voice answered you.

"jun? why'd you answer minghao's phone?" you question the man on the other side of the phone.

jun was one of minghao’s most trusted friends, his best friend even. he and jun were chinese, giving them an instant click. although hao had a big circle of friends, you’ve noticed that he really was closer with jun than the rest.

you heard a laugh. "well, you see,"

.

after jun explained what happened, you couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. your heart beating very loudly, your stomach getting butterflies.

as what jun said, minghao was procrastinating, more than usual.

he tried to finish his responsibilities as soon as possible so that he could spend time with you. it seemed like minghao was missing you deeply as well.

and as soon as hao opened your messages, he passed out on the floor.

what kind of person doesn't take care of himself?

you were still on call, waiting for hao to wake up. your camera was on as it was facing you while you were reading a book.

you heard a muffled voice and a groan.

"good morning, sleepyhead." you greeted him.

"wayen?" he asked.

you gave him a hum before picking up the phone.

"how are you feeling?" i asked him with a sweet tone lacing in my voice, along with a small tilted smile.

"a bit lightheaded." he massaged his head a bit.

the both of you talked for a while and caught up with what you guys were doing recently. he really was busy, busier than you even. you don't know how he can handle all those projects by himself.

"hun," he called out.

"yeah?"

he breathed in. "sorry for not being interactive recently.” you shook your head vigorously. "dear no, don't apologize.”

you gave him a sincere smile.

"i understand that you were busy. yeah, it hurt a bit, but it's fine now!" assuring him with a hand holding up a thumb's up.

minghao gave you that rare, heartwarming smile, not until it was interrupted by a bark.

"bopul!" you called out to his dog, aka, you and hao’s baby.

a white fluffy pup immediately jumped onto hao's lap, wagging his cute tail. "hey, honey~" you cooed. receiving a bark in response.

"y'know, i sometimes think you love bopul more than me." he teased.

you shrugged. "probably."

.

the two of you talked for a few more hours, until it was time for you to go.

"hey, hun?" he stated. "before you go, i wanna tell you something."

you stopped what you were doing and listened to what he was saying. "hm?"

"please don't hesitate to call."

you were surprised at what he said.

"i wanna hear your voice from time to time y'know." a light chuckle came out from his mouth. his ears were turning as shade of red as well. hao has never been the vocal type, he’d always show his affection towards you with his actions, so hearing this from him made your stomach do flips.

"ah," you said. "are you sure? i don't really wanna call much since you're busy and stuff."

minghao raised a brow, "huh? yeah i'm busy pretty much everyday, but i still wanna spend time with you."

he paused. "texts aren't enough.

you smiled heartedly at him. "i'll be sure to call you once i get back from my lectures."

"i'll be waiting. i love you."

"i love you even more."

.

.

.

.

<3

[demonslayedher]

Things that went through my head while watching this episode: --This was a great episode to notice during the OP that in the clip right after Muichiro throws the sword and Tanjiro goes rushing forward in a strike presumably with that sword, you can see Yoriichi in the back lined up next to Tanjiro--almost like the pose Tanjiro strikes with Pillars in the OP! (Hmm, how are they going to do that for the Pillar Training Arc?)

--Kanamori, in some not very well-placed exposition, says that Tanjiro asked him to be understanding of Muichiro, and that is why as Muichiro's new swordsmith, he looked into who used to smith his swords. First of all, when? We only saw Tanjiro interact with Kanamori the day or two before this all goes down, but Kanamori already has Muichiro's new sword ready and stashed away in the same shop where Haganezuka is busy putting his life on the line for polishing a sword even before Gyokko shows up. The first we see of Tanjiro even hearing of Kanamori being responsible for Muichiro's sword is when Muichiro woke him up maybe an hour or so ago. This means Tanjiro had to have known this and had an opportunity to talk to Kanamori long before he even witnessed Muichiro in the Swordsmith Village. Perhaps Tanjiro brought it up as general advice to Kanamori who expressed feeling pressure for being assigned to a Pillar, and Tanjiro just wanted to be encouraging to him based on what little impression he had of Muichiro at the Pillar Meeting and whatever he heard from Shinobu (and Shinobu did tell Tanjiro Muichiro's name, at the very least). But also, perhaps Kanamori started this endeavor to understand Muichiro after completing his first sword for him, because Tanjiro only said this to him yesterday? In which case, was this truly a matter of Tanjiro seeing that Muichiro is in need of that kindness, or was it Tanjiro throwing his hands up and saying, "I don't know what to make of him, you try!"

--And that, friends, is how you can dig too deep into canon to find fanfic ideas.

--Kotetsu-kun truly is a brave kid whose response to seeing his friends in pain was to attack instead of run away. I love how close-knit everyone in the village is, they all know (and recognize!) each other by name. --Muichiro is the kind of person who would walk around a modern art museum saying, "I could do that." Kotetsu would be the one saying, "but you didn't." Gyokko, of course, is the worst of modern artists. There must be a modern day AU which Gyokko leans a bean in Chicago and Muichiro starts a "paint the bean pink" event.

--Gyokko deserves some credit here for his cleverness! Although what Muzan would have preferred is Gyokko finding Ubuyashiki or the blue spider lilies, Gyokko has honed in the Corp's weapons and focused his efforts on eliminating those. Maybe he was merely lucky to have found a clue about the village, but he developed a technique, I assume specifically, to deprive swordsmen of their Breath.

--Being taunted for having "a dull life" and an existence with no meaning sure adds weight to that "I was born to be happy" statement. --Kimetsu Academy answered some of my wishes by having Uzui-sensei and Gyokko hang out and talk art, but what I really want is to see Shinobu see those fishes.

--I love the BGM and sound effects for Love Breath. Mitsuri is just so special, you guys. I love hearing her in this Taisho Secret showing off her sword skills to Tanjiro & Nezuko, and a sound that lives in my head rent free is the the sound she made in the previous episode's Kimetsu Academy short as she falls to her knees. --One of my favorite background characters in this whole series is the guy who tried to protect Tecchin by charging at the fish monster with a naginata. ----First, naginata. I have bias. ----Second, such upstanding character! That is not a man who runs away even when the swordsmen have been slain. ----Also, while Tecchin and the other guy who got his head bumped are shameless in fishing for Mitsuri's care and attention, this is the guy who had the view up her skirt and who made no mention of it whatsoever. ----That might be because he was so rightfully distracted by the sight of her sword instead, and he gave us some smoother exposition with which to appreciate it. --Another random thing, but I love the nighttime lighting in this season! The BGM in general feels more experimental and sometimes takes me out of it (opposed to how the Yuukaku spin plunged me deeper into it), but when it slaps, it slaps, like on the new variation as Tanjiro attains a lightsaber Red Blade. Also also, there are a lot of characters in this one with peculiar and kind of old-timey ways of speaking (Kanamori, Tecchin, Hantengu's clones, etc.) that are still distinct from other characters (like Rengoku). I don't know how much of it comes across in translation, but my ears enjoy the extra characterization.

--I love--and the first time I watched this, my friends loved it too--how Nezuko and Tanjiro take turns carrying each other when they lose consciousness. It keeps the pacing fast and desperation high, while also illustrating their bond really well. What also gets me is how Tanjiro frets and tells her to let go of the sword because her fingers will get cut. It doesn't feel like a big concern because we know she's already lost a forearm and being impaled through through the torso and neck tonight, but any reasonable brother doesn't want to see his sister's fingers cut off, much less sliced with a sword at all.

--I love how Sekido is the only demon around here whose perspective is worth anything

--Quickly jumping to the end of the episode to note how we see the base of Aizetsu's neck and the top of his head still intact, so that implies that Genya munched on the bottom half of his head. In general I'm not much into ship content, but I know there is a fandom for Aizetsu and Genya out there, and I do find the idea of it being one-sided infatuation on Aizetsu's part an amusing premise. With that in the back of my mind, I could also imagine Aizetsu mistakenly thinking Genya was going to make out with him and how quickly and shockingly he'd have his hopes dashed. --Okay, so, HINOKAMI KAGURA WITH A RED BLADE AND THE MARK, TIME TO DIAL UP THE ANIMATION

--And they do

--And it's so sad Haganezuka doesn't get to see it --Like, after how much the fight with Rui blew up and the internet collectively lost their minds, we tend to just expect this from Ufotable, so the beauty they accomplish doesn't always stick out because they have to work harder and harder to stand out from what they've already given us, but this attack on Karaku, Urogi, and Sekido is a thing of wonder and it is highly worth appreciating.

--The lighting! The fluid motion and changing camera angles! But also the ability to show changes in expression, and to differentiate Tanjiro in the marked state from his usual state.

--But, again, the timeline has me in knots. Tanjiro says he was "always" thinking about that last strike on Gyutaro and how it felt different, but when would he have had time to do that, since he's spend so much of his wakeful life, like, fighting for his life against a mechanical doll? He's of course had downtime, but given the Taisho Secret in the hand-out at the early Mugen Ressha showings, I suspect comatose Tanjiro spend a lot of time analyzing and replaying that moment and doing image training. --On the first watch, when Tanjiro is thinking about how his will is tied with that of everyone around him, and even if he can't do it, someone else will take over for him, it's easy to get wrapped up in "THAT'S RENGOKU" or "this is foreshadowing all the hands in that truly final battle with Muzan!" but, I can't wait to think back to this scene when he's talking to Giyuu in the next season. Giyuu is the first person he thinks of, but also, Giyuu's hand is absent from among the ones on Tanjiro's back.

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

“I also personally LOVE the delusion of "Everyone we know understands why we're meant to be" because it's so integral to the entire point of the song” — THIS THIS THIS. Remember, that line comes after she admits that they’ve both told their friends separately that they’ll kill themselves if the other leaves, one of the biggest and most obvious red flags a relationship can have. As someone who’s had a friend say something similar to me in the past, I can guarantee that everyone most certainly did not understand why they’re meant to be — if Jack’s experience was anything like mine, that statement would have gotten an anxious laugh and an internal she doesn’t mean that seriously, right? The relationship described in little ttpd is neither healthy nor romantic. The narrator is trying desperately to convince herself it is, which is why she’s telling herself all their friends are on board with it when it’s not entirely clear if they are (notice that we don’t hear Lucy or Jack’s reactions to these very concerning statements — we have to take Taylor’s word that they understand why they’re meant to be*, and a recurring theme throughout especially the first half of this album is that Taylor isn’t always the most reliable narrator). For that reason I don’t really struggle with the “how could she write this about HIM??” feelings with little ttpd in the same way I do for songs like loml. Little ttpd is just a detailed accounting of what she’s summarizing in icfh(nric) — an unhealthy, rapidly failing relationship built on lovebombing and delusion. And I am totally fine assigning that to Mr. Smallest Man Who Ever Lived (said jokingly — obviously with the paternity test disclaimer and understanding that Taylor’s music is much more than the men who may have potentially inspired it)

*and yes I realize that all of Taylor’s work is technically based on us taking her word for things, and that even if she gave us the full conversation we would still be taking her word that it’s true, but I think even with that she’s still presenting herself as an unreliable narrator in this song and that the choice to leave out her friends’ reactions/responses was an intentional one

This was fantastically said friend and I so agree and I also think that this extra bit of Required Reading is perhaps why Poets might have such a higher barrier to entry for listeners and also why some of its earliest criticisms lose weight once you give the album its due and listen to it the way it was meant to be consumed - over a long period of time and with careful consideration to the context and the intent of the artist.

The album is too long and overly, unnecessarily wordy. Yes.

Some of the lyrics are super cringe and weird and awkward. Yes.

It's really gross that she's romanticizing being in love with someone who's not a good person. Y E S. YES?!?!?!??! YES!!!!!!

THAT'S THE POINT. THAT'S THE POINNNNNNNNNT! THAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And yes completely agree that while there's a precedent set that if you're listening to a Taylor Swift song you're getting her *biased* POV as in her version of events (which, tbh, her version of events usually goes reasonably unrefuted by people which I'm led to believe means it's typically close to right even if it's fuelled by her own biased personal emotions). But never elsewhere in her disco as we do on TTPD do we have to confront the fact that her biased POV is also a really fucked up one that she herself does not even necessarily believe but is doing her best to convince herself that it's true and good for her and right. And you have to be actively hearing and discerning and comprehending and analyzing what she is saying and how she is saying it in order to *get that*.

Poets inherently does not reward passive listening. And if you tuned out once you grasped who a song might* be about because you personally dislike them** you miss almost the entire point of what Taylor is trying to communicate.

[ladykailitha]

All My Roads Lead Back to You Part 14

Hello, hello! Thank you to everyone who participated in WIP Wednesday yesterday! It was a blast. I got so much work done.

This mainly Steve centric. Did I write almost an entire chapter with Steve going to bat for Edie to beat out some childhood trauma of my dad never doing that despite doing it for my older siblings? Yes. Does it further plot? Not really. But it was cathartic anyway.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

***

Steve didn’t like talking to principals or teachers as a whole. They got harder to charm as time passed. He could charm hardened business men out of their hard earned cash, but for some reason teachers failed to be charmed him.

So instead of charming them, he decided that he would do it the Nancy Wheeler method and bowl them over with facts.

Principal Kim and Mr Pearson were waiting for him when he arrived. They both rose up to greet him and he shook both of their hands.

“Thanks for agreeing to meet with me,” he said seriously. “I understand that tracing a picture for the art show and for her assignment is a very severe offense. And I of course want to address those allegations as to not tarnish her reputation and make it harder for her to get into colleges and universities.”

Mr Pearson sneered. “You’d just buy her way into any school she wanted anyway.”

Steve locked eyes with Principal Kim and even she looked shocked.

“Excuse, Mr Pearson,” she began, “do I mean to understand that you feel that Edith Harrington bought her way into your art class?”

Mr Pearson’s jaw dropped, realizing he had said the quiet part out loud. “I didn’t mean to apply that she was without talent or merit. But the picture in question is too good for someone her level.”

Steve twisted his bottom jaw as he ran his tongue over his teeth slowly. “How do you feel about the pinprick method?”

Principal Kim frowned. “The what?”

Mr Pearson squirmed in his seat. “It’s method used by many artists when copying works to ensure the height and width of the subject are in the correct proportions.”

Principal Kim turned to Steve. “And you assert your daughter used this method on her most recent assignment?”

Steve nodded. “Yes, and I can prove it.” He turned to Mr Pearson. “You brought the picture with you like I asked, yes?”

Mr Pearson snarled and grabbed his messenger bag. He ripped it open and got out Edie’s picture she had done of Irises by Van Gogh. It was a beautiful piece that showed bright blue irises on the side of a road.

“Can you honestly tell me that she did that without tracing it first?” he asked gruffly. He threw on the principal’s desk.

“It’s very pretty,” she said.

“Did you see her trace it?” Steve asked, turning to the teacher.

“Excuse me?” Mr Pearson asked, straightening up in his chair. “Of course not! She wouldn’t dare trace it in class.”

“What did she do in class?” Steve asked, crossing legs and wiggling his shoulders as he got comfortable. “She had to do something, right?”

Mr Pearson scowled. “I have a class of twenty four students, I can’t be watching each one every second of every day,” he scoffed waving his hands.

Principal Kim nodded sympathetically. “That’s just the way it is, I’m afraid, Mr Harrington.”

Steve smiled. “Oh I don’t doubt it, herding teenagers is difficult in small groups, I can’t imagine tripling the amount of teenagers I used to chaperon around when I got out of high school. I completely understand.”

Mr Pearson eyed him warily. “And where are you going with this?”

“She had to check off certain stages of her work with you, did she not?” Steve said, bouncing his leg on his knee.

Mr Pearson frowned. “Of course she did.”

“And at any stage did her work so signs of it being traced?” Steve asked, a charming smile on his face.

“No.”

Principal Kim sighed. “Be that as that may, Mr Harrington, we’re going to need proof.”

“Why is burden of proof on Edie’s side?” Steve asked, giving her his big puppy-eyed, ‘I don’t understand’ face. “Shouldn’t it be on her accuser’s?”

Silence fell and Steve knew he had won. They couldn’t prove she traced. There was no evidence of something that didn’t happen.

Now it was time for the final blow. God he loved this part. He got out a large color art book of Vincent Van Gogh’s works. He flipped it over to the page that had the image of the painting Edie had used. He then pulled out a pocket knife and set on top of the page.

“One last thing,” Steve said. “Is the pinprick method allowed in the art show?”

Mr Pearson nodded.

He grinned and turned back to the principal. “This is the book Edie used to base her work on. If you’ll use the knife to cut out the page and hold it up to the light you will pinpricks and not trace marks.”

“That could be any book bought at any time!” Mr Pearson protested.

Steve nodded and got a couple more things out of his bag and handed them to the Principal Kim. “I have the original pictures on my phone, but they are too small to see the details.” He pulled out his phone and handed it to her.

She looked at the pictures showing the book that had a scuff on the cover and that the book in front of her had a large scuff right where Edie had dropped getting out the car the day he bought it for her.

There was no doubt it was the same book. She handed the pictures to Mr Pearson who was forced to concede that it must be the same book. She picked up the knife and then looked at Steve.

“And your daughter is okay with us defacing the book like this?” she asked, eyeing Steve skeptically.

Steve nodded. “She said to use whatever means necessary to clear her name. So go for it.”

Principal Kim sighed and deftly cut out the page. She handed the knife back to Steve and then lifted the page. Sure enough there were seven or eight pinpricks but not a single trace outline. If she had traced it there would be heavy indentations around each flower and there weren’t.

“Now,” Steve said leaning forward, “put Edie’s picture over the top to see if the prick holes match.”

Principal Kim did just that and sighed when they lined up perfectly. There was no doubt that Edie hadn’t cheated.

“Edith’s picture will be submitted to the art show and the mark expunged from her record. Mr Pearson will apologize to your daughter in front of the class.”

“What?” Mr Pearson cried, leaping to his feet. “I will do no such thing!”

“You will and I will be watching when you do,” Principal Kim said sternly, “or I will suspend you without pay until a full investigation is done to see if you have done this to other students.”

Mr Pearson’s jaw dropped and he sat back down quietly, hands on his lap.

Steve stood. “You may keep everything but my phone, if you need to convince the judges of the art show of the validity of her work.”

She nodded. They shook hands and then Steve gathered his things and walked out. Before he could even close the door, he could hear the principal tearing into Mr Pearson.

Steve was grinning and not paying attention to where he was going when he nearly bumped into someone.

“Oh, sorry!” he said, holding up his hands in surrender.

“Steve?” Eddie asked. “What are you doing here?”

Steve looked up into those warm brown eyes and smiled. “Just convincing Principal Kim and Mr Pearson to let Edie’s pastel drawing back into the art show.”

Harri peered around his dad. “What? Really? Did you win?”

Steve grinned. “Sure did. If they had done an investigation instead of blinding following the word of one vindictive little girl, Mr Pearson wouldn’t be under scrutiny for doing similar things to other students.”

He crossed his arms and shifted his weight to his back foot. “I’m pretty sure if they looked deep enough, they’d find that he had been grading harsher for so called nepo babies. Children of rich parents that had generational wealth over those students that had nouveau-riche parents. Because he thought they had worked hard for their money.”

Eddie laughed. “And how would you know that?”

Steve grinned. “Because that’s what Nancy dug up for me when I asked.”

Eddie threw back his head and really laughed. “That would do it, yeah.”

Harri cocked his head to the side and frowned. “Who’s Nancy?”

Steve turned him with a soft smile. “She’s a world renowned journalist who your dad and me went to school with.”

“Sounds vaguely familiar,” he said with a shrug. “But that’s cool she helped you get Miss Thing’s art back in the show.”

“I called in a favor,” Steve said with a shrug.

“She owes you more than one favor,” Eddie grumbled.

Steve bit his lip and blushed. “She knows.”

Eddie grinned. “Good.”

“You guys want to come over and celebrate with us?” Steve asked. “The Lawrences are going to be there, as well as the Grants.” At their look of confusion he clarified. “Kenny’s family, the band’s keyboardist.”

Harri and Eddie looked at each other and then Harri nodded, while Eddie shrugged.

“Sure,” Eddie said. “I don’t see why not.”

*

Edie had gotten use to seeing Mr Munson at her house so often that sometimes it surprised her that Harri and him didn’t live there. That they actually lived elsewhere.

“Are you sure they aren’t dating?” Kenny asked one day at lunch. They were huddled together at their table away from the seething wrath of Lauren Duncan and her crowd of mean girls.

When it came out that Lauren was the tattletale the whole art class turned on her. And straight up ignored her when she would even so much as ask for the eraser to be handed to her.

But that ostracizing only made her vicious out of class. Bumping into Edie to get Edie to drop her stuff or even fall. Putting hate mail in her lockers. Whispering to her friends behind her hands.

Though she tried knocking Edie’s lunch tray out her hands only the once. Edie was quick enough to shove the tray right in Lauren’s face. And what made it even better is that she couldn’t claim that Edie had done in purpose because then she would have to explain why she was that close to Edie in the first place. And after her week suspension for falsely accusing Edie of wrongdoing, she couldn’t afford more trouble. So she stuck to the little things.

Harri sighed. “I honestly don’t know, man.”

Edie nodded. “They go out to lunch every Monday. And it’s gotten to the point where Vanessa, my dad’s secretary won’t even schedule anything for that time.”

Harri nodded. “I think we eat dinner more often at your house then we do my own. And I like my house!”

Mandy nodded. “I mean our dads still hang out, but now Mr Munson tags along too. My dad said that he’s seen more of Mr Munson in the last month then he has the last decade.”

They all nodded.

“Let’s not forget Mr Munson staying for practice instead of dropping Harri off and coming back later,” Brian said, poking at his food, pushing it around on his plate. “We always have to break them up when we’re done so Harri can go home.”

“When summer starts,” Mandy said, “We should test it, see how it takes for them to notice we’re done.”

They nodded again.

“But when I ask my dad,” Edie said, “all he’ll say is that he’s sworn off dating so it can’t be a date.”

Harri threw his arms in the air. “My dad is no better. He keeps telling me that Papa was it for him, and second chances only happen once in a life time and he’s already had his.”

“They are so stubborn, I swear,” Edie huffed. “But we all promised that we wouldn’t interfere in their relationship.”

Kenny straightened up. “You guys promised that. I didn’t.” He grinned. “And I think I know just how to do it.” He put on his backpack and grabbed his tray. “I’ll talk to you guys, later.”

***

Part 15 Part 16 Part 17  Part 18  Epilogue

Also, I had something similar happen to me with a different Van Gogh painting Giant Peacock Moth, only I was in middle school and it was just kids being grumpy the French teacher didn’t care. It was just away to teach us about the French artists movement of the 1800s. I still have it somewhere.

Also: Harri isn’t in trouble, he’s going to see the principal and his guidance counselor because some of his credits from his Cali school didn’t transfer.

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk​ @trashpocket @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @mightbeasleep @thedragonsaunt @chaoticlovingdreamer @trashpocket @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666  @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @steddie-as-they-go @lillemilly @callas-shitshow @bisexualdisastersworld @renaissan-vvitch @immortal-iratze @bookbinderbitch @cardigangoth @lilacrobin @nightmareglitter @nerdsconquerall

[cerealmonster15]

not 2 be dramatic but also it is my blog where i can ramble about what im feeling whenever i WANT!!! anyway i like. feel like something is fundamentally missing from my entire being or w/e lol. like. i mean there's a very high chance i have adhd which does explain a looooooooot of The Way That I Am and my struggle at doing and focusing on stuff and things and my rapid rotating around short interests in things. but like i also feel like [and maybe this is part of adhd idfk, i havent been Officially Diagnosed just a lot of therapists and friends with adhd all tell me i probs do lol] i just dont feel motivated to do things. and ive been this way i think a lot of my life. i realized a looooong time ago that i was not so motivated by passion but by fear!!!!! fear of failure or whatever!!!

fuckin adding a readmore bc i ended up talking forever lmao

like in school. i got good grades but i never really felt smart exactly. i was able to work really hard and spend a lot of time doing homework and whatever because i feared the consequence of failure. i didnt wanna get bad grades [not even from like a threat from home or anything, i just was afraid of the system lol like i didnt wanna fail and then snowball into ruining everything for my future or w/e. like i've always been kinda 0 to 100 in things like that lolol]

but like i remember going into college like "well i am interested in physics and compsci so i guess ill declare double major til i decide which one id rather do" but i didnt really have a clear goal. physics i dropped first because as much as i like the concept, the classes were still hard and i didnt have any idea of what i'd do with it if i did pursue it. comp sci i at least was like "well i like video games i could do something with that probably" but then i nearly flunked and dropped the class lol. my fault for skipping an intro class bc i was like "Well i learned a lot of the basics in high school" bitch u did not retain any of those basics. anyway i ended up swapping to digital arts under that same "well i like shows and games maybe i can do something with that" and that did ultimately lead me to grad school for game dev and learning what tech art is and all that. and i was employed as one for a lil while!

but then i got let go. and in the midst of a really Hard Time to be unemployd for gamedev bc of the mass layoffs ALSO happening over and over and over and over, so despite the fact that i have some industry experience, i have a significantly harder time even getting interviewed. but a lot of it is my portfolio - unfortunately the nature of the jobs i had didnt really net me much in the way of tangible portfolio work, and a quality / updated portfolio really is what matters in this field

and thats where i hit my problem. i really am not self motivated or like, creative. i dont really have ideas. a lot of my portfolio was school assignments <- stuff i had to do. stuff people told me to do. even now, i sometimes do vfx to help my partner with his solo game hes been making for years, and thats my main portfolio addition source because i need someone to tell me what they want. and then i also struggle to see the vision of that sometimes like ive been SO STUCK on a specific effect im making for the game bc im not understanding the vision and also im not really around other tech artists or vfx artists much anymore. not like in grad school lol. even at my prev job i was the main vfx person so i was kind of on my own floundering around to figure stuff out- and a lot of times i couldnt. there was no senior to guide me if i got stuck.

so when i'm just alone in a vacuum with nothing forcing me to do things i just dont. i LIKE vfx and shaders and even python, but if i dont have a thing where i have to follow specific tasks i just cant think of anything interesting or unique to do myself. even a lot of the python ive learned recently was from a udemy course, which helped a lot bc it was structured with little assignments, explanations i understood in small bursts, and specific projects with specific goals. one of those i did kinda expand on based on what i learned to make a portfolio thing, sort of. it's out of place on my artstation bc it's not really gamedev related at all but its python and it's SOMETHING. python is a tech art skill at least. i can replace it sometime if i have more relevant things but i just dont right now. i dont know what to make. i have no tool ideas, or even if i have a vague idea i just go "i dont really know how id do that" and dont feel motivated enough to figure things out or to make that vague idea even somewhat interesting. vfx i just go "i dont know how to make this look more interesting" and get stuck at unimpressive points if anything. i dont have the designer or passion part of the brain that i kinda need to survive this and it scares me. i like the structure and stability of being employed because someone tells me what they need. i dont know what i'm supposed to do on my own but im supposed to figure it out otherwise my portfolio stays stagnant forever!!!

so many times people will like. have a side project. they learn from those projects. they have a vision they want to see completed and they pick up skills for that thing. my partner is a big example with his game hes making - he could already program but hes learned a lot of the art needed to make it work, because he wanted to see the game made. people have like their comics or animations or games or whatever they do, hobbies, anything that they feel passionate about and i feel like i just lack that passion. scared that i like the idea of doing things more than doing them even if i do enjoy doing the things when i do them, but not enough to like, get myself motivated to lol. if that even makes sense.

like idk. i at least have martial arts - i did aikido in college and i do capoeira now- but it's stuff i can only do bc i have a regular group i pay and go participate in with other people. once i dont have those group settings i dont do it on my own.

ive tried to get myself to learn musical instruments so many times but once i stopped taking lessons for sax or piano bc i got busy with school, i mostly just dropped them. i cant motivate myself enough to practice on my own even tho i did learn enough fundamentals that i probably COULD if i just. cared enough i guess. i always had in the back of my mind that it would be cool, IN THEORY, to draw comics or make a dating sim/visual novel of any flavor, a virtual pet, a farm sim, whatever. but i dont actually have the vision for it. i dont have a story to tell. i'm not motivated enough. ive looked up several times ways i might be able to use python to make a lil tamagotchi project to practice but i just never do!!! maybe i know enough python from the udemy now that i could but would i?? idk!!!

people always say you learn best by just jumping into it. find something fun you want to make or do and then learn as you go. but i dont have passion. im in a vacuum. even with my fics, i still like writing my fics!!! but i slowed down so much on those. because before, i was writing them to share between my friend and me when we were first getting into twst and based off a lot of inside jokes and ideas bouncing off of each other lol. fics, aus, doodles, whatever. and we still talk twst but she isnt caught up to main story anymore and it's not as much of a thing we talk as often or deeply about. i think my doodles got a lot more boring as a result and ive had less ideas. but i do still love the characters so so so so much and i do have fics i want to write... but it slowed down and i dont WANT it to slow down. i get excited over characters and games, and it doesnt really help me in terms of trying to fuckin Get A Job or Learn A Skill or whatever but. like at least it's something. i feel like my doodles got more bland too like i just kinda redoodle the same stiff generic things over and over and over again forever

there are so many things i can just do a little bit of but not enough to be like. impressive. or hireable. or helpful or smart or knowledable or whatever. like i can crochet a little bit. i can sew a LITTLE bit to get some simpler cosplays but nothing fancy. im not motivated enough to push those further to like "make my own clothes" or a more ambitious cosplay even tho i like the base level stuff. i can program a LITTLE in python but cant motivate myself to figure out what to do with it. i used to know a little hlsl and i know some node based shader stuff but not enough to be super deep with it. like more than a non tech artist i guess but not enough to make things that really look all that good 😑 i used to do tech theater in high school, but only really knew the basics of the woodworking and lightbooth stuff, not enough/not kept up with where i could do anything with that now even though i enjoyed it then. i was in chorus in school for like five years in middle/high school and i took some basic piano and saxophone lessons but every time i try to go back to something like that im dusting off the cobwebs. i also have always had huge anxiety so i coudnt ever have considered a performance thing with it anyway. whenever i was in school chorus production musical things i was only in ensemble parts or at the very least singing with a small group of other people because i never had the ambition or desire or bravery to try and stand out lol. i liked being backstage. i started learning to rollerskate but i only ever really got to a point where i could move around without falling over and then as soon as i started capoeira i never touched the skates again. even though it was fun! i studied spanish for years and used to practice with my father but i barely ever do now, even thought i knew enough to go to spain on a school trip we still were in an english comfortable environment and i really could just fumble my way through simple conversations in spanish. i dont keep up with it enough to like, be able to smoothly translate more casual dialogue or whatever and as much as id really love to practice that more, i once again dont have the motivation or drive or even ideas for it. i have a few times thought learning portuguese for capoeira or japanese for just generic enjoyment of japanese games and anime and stuff would be cool but i do. not. stick. with. it.

i do notice lately that the other thing. next to the fear of failure motivation. it is the community thing. i do capoeira not out of fear but because there are other people i go and do it with. i pay for the classes, i enjoy the classes, i do the classes with other people. when i was in school i had other classmates doing the same things with me. when i was in tech theater or chorus clubs i had clubmates. music instrument classes i had the instructor / it was something my mother was paying for me to do / the instructor would give me homework to practice and i had to be able to report to that person the next week so i would have the incentive to do it [another failure thing i guess but still lol]. cosplay i do alone as i make it but then i see other people at cons. i hadnt done new ones in a long time tho because i wasnt going to cons, and the only one i made recently i also had the motivation and deadline of a con coming up that a friend and i were going to go to together and our cosplays connected. theres community. but right now i have no job to worry about failing at, and no coworkers to bounce ideas off of. personal projects are in such a vaccuum i just dont have the motivation or self discipline. even the udemy python thing, some lessons are more interesting than others, and it's general python stuff so rn the recent stuff is like, good dev stuff but not gamedev stuff; but i have learned enough where i probs could take it and run but i dont know how or why or what to do with it!!!

i dont know if im even making a point here i think ive just had these thoughts swirling around my mind and overwhelming me for. well kind of forever LOL