#some responses are clearly a reflection of individual insecurities

[tulassecondblog]

say it with me ‘just because i have uncomfy feelings about a certain topic doesn’t make the point invalid. in fact, i should sit in my discomfort and consider WHY i feel that way, and WHY i feel the need to respond aggressively in regards to certain conversations (or actively avoid them). AND maybe consider that my emotional response is my subconscious battling with my own preconceived notions i’ve based entirely on my emotions without considering facts OR the experiences other human beings.’

this is called growth. living in a bubble does not help you grow as a person and growth is necessary in order to maintain a healthy sense of self. don’t fear it, don’t run from it, and you’ll be better for it. ❤️

(also let’s use reading comprehension here, you know what this applies to and what it doesn’t)

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

hi miss raven!!! i hope you're recovering well and everything's alright with you <3 recently we've learned that, according to lilia, magic was born out of a strong wish. after thinking about that a bit more, i came to a theory that unique magic is probably a reflection of a persons deepest/strongest desire? i think this isn't unreasonable and quite plausable, esp if you look at how the first-years have acquired their UM! epel wanted to protect others, so he summoned that coffin, ace wanted to be of use, but, since he's insecure, his UM manifested in a bit of a different way, lilia was in dire need of information and Far Cry Cradle helped him solve that, ect! i think with some UM it's quite easy to see this through line! like, jamil at some point probably wanted to have control over others and to make kalim listen to him that he manifested Snake Whisper but from what i remember, UM can also be heritable, as is the case with idia and... someone else??? with malleus???? i remember it being mentioned recently, but i don't recall the character. not to mentioned that it seems that not everyone may develop UM... i was quite surprised to find out that lilia only manifested his UM in his 300+, it seems rather late for a general what are your thoughts on this? is there any more information on UMs? i hope you haven't discussed this thoroughly before bc i dont wanna waste your time ^///^

[Referencing health update in this post. Explanation of the origin of magic here!]

I’m doing alright! Thanks for checking in on me.

Technically we learned this lore from Silver, who originally learned it from Lilia—

Mmm… I’m not sure how “real” the lore that magic is born from strong desire is, if that makes sense? The phrasing of it (being a story that Lilia tells Silver) makes me wonder if it’s a fairy tale/legend of old to explain a natural phenomenon (since magic occurs in nature, outside of human beings) rather than actual scientific explanation for where magic comes from. Clearly, strong wish = strong magic is not always true because Sebek, one of the most gung-ho in Twst, is specified to be a magical late bloomer despite wishing very strongly to be at peak condition for his liege. This alone makes me doubt the canonicity of the “origin of magic” story. We know that imagination for sure influences one’s spellcasting, so it could be that a wish is moreso associated with what the mage is able to call into their mind in addition to the magical strength they have.

Early in book 1, unique magic (or signature spell in EN) is described as “a spell that only [you] can cast” or “a magical ability that is, generally speaking, unique to its user.” We don’t really get more clarification beyond this. If you want information on individual UMs, please see this reference post.

I think the idea that one’s UM being a reflection of a person’s greatest desire isn’t entirely true. It works to explain some UMs, but not all UMs. Spells like Far Cry Cradle, Sleep Kiss/Crimson Slumber, Snake Whisper/Snake Charmer, Living Bolt, etc. may have manifested in response to a canonized or implied moment of intense longing, but several other spells confound this. For example, Rollo’s younger brother burned in a magical fire of his own creation. I highly doubt that Rollo wanted a UM that simulates that traumatic event or that he wanted to become more powerful from negative emotions. Ruggie strongly desires money and food in order to survive and to look after his loved ones (so much so that it is the mere sound of a coin with low monetary value that wakes him up from his dream), yet his UM has little to do with accumulating those resources. (I guess he can always use Laugh with Me to get those things, but this is a very roundabout way of getting it as opposed to having a UM that like… turns things into food or money.) Kalim’s UM allows him to manifest tons of water for little magic, but he describes his own UM as being not very useful because modern dah waterways and irrigation exists. So… why would he have desired to have this skill? Did Silver really want to walk in dreams and get to know his peers better, or was he given this UM as a narrative convenience so we can have a long segment where we systematically visit each sleeping student and wake them up? (And honestly, I feel that the timing of Lilia manifesting his UM at 300ish years old may in part be for narrative convenience too.) What exactly is Vil wishing for with his ability to curse others?

Riddle (in the Savanaclaw light novel + book 1) and Azul’s post-OB flashback imply different ways of manifesting one’s UM. Riddle studied so hard that he manifested and mastered his by the age of 10. Azul, meanwhile, seems to have developed his UM more intentionally (so he seems to be more driven by his desire to get revenge on his bullies).

Then there’s heritable UMs, which are its own can of worms. Idia’s Game, Set, Match is the prime example here. I believe that Malleus’s hasn’t not been confirmed heritable, as otherwise his grandmother would have the same UM and therefore be able to remove his briar barrier. However, text suggests that another royal has inherited magic. Both in the Savanaclaw light novel and in his post/OB flashback in-game, Leona states that he was “born” with a terrifying power from birth and that it had “nothing to do with his will”.

UMs seem to manifest at different times for different people, just like general magic does (if Sebek and Lilia are anything to go by). I don’t think this has to do with solely how strong one’s desire is (though that’s definitely a contributing factor), but other life circumstances, especially as it pertains to identity, too. Ace is a good example of this, actually. He was cited as an example of evidence that wish -> UM? but I don’t believe this to be the case. Before his UM was revealed, many fans theorized his UM would allow him to copy or borrow others’ UM. This prediction was made based on Ace’s knowledge skillset of copying others (voices, language, dance moves, skillful hands for card tricks). Then, as it turns out, Joker Snatch allows Ace to trade magic with others, which is similar to fan predictions. The fact that fans were able to get so close to the correct answer based on just general information we know about Ace implies that other factors come into play for a UM; who the mage is, what their current abilities are, their level of imagination, etc.

I’m not sure what you mean when you say not everyone may develop a UM? Are you talking about Ortho?? In his case, he can’t develop one due to not really being an organic being. Other mages, I imagine, would likely manifest their UMs at different points in their life (similar to Lilia) based on whatever their life circumstances are. If they lack ambition or perhaps are confused about their direction or identity, it may take longer for their UM to show up.

In summary, a mage’s desire isn’t the entire story; it’s more likely a factor considered in their development and it certainly contributes to shaping a UM, but it’s not everything. I think this post lays out a lot of salient points about what goes into a UM, so that might be a good read ^^

[gotskamstuff]

Now I don’t care anymore and I’m gonna get this off my chest ‘cause I’m on a warpath with the OBX writers and I’m gonna hold them accountable for everything I personally find faulty in the show.

I personally think that John B and Sarah are the worst written characters in the whole series which is ironic considering they’re the main ones. MIND YOU before the Jarah shippers come from my throat, I don’t mean them together as a couple, I ship them as well and I find their story beautiful, I think their relationship is actually the best written part about them, I am talking about them as individual characters taken on their own.

When you think of Pope, when you think of Kiara, when you think of JJ, when you think of Cleo, you know EXACTLY who they are and what they are like, you know what their personalities are, you know what they like, you know what they are passionate about, you know their dreams and aspirations, you can clearly tell how they are gonna react to different situations, they’re clearly all strong individuals before being part of a ship.

With John B and Sarah I feel like they built their entire personalities around the fact that they are a couple and that they are victims of the events.

Pope is a bit of a nerd passionate about science and forensics, Kie is passionate about the environment and social justice, JJ is passionate about boats and bike riding and wants to travel the world, Cleo is passionate about cooking. Pope is a levelheaded guy who’s responsible and thinks rationally, Cleo is a street smart girl with a go get it attitude, JJ is an impulsive person who takes matters into his own hands ‘cause he has trust issues and Kiara is a very opinionated and determinate girl who always fights for herself and her friends without sitting and watching.

But…what does Sarah like? What does John B like? (surfing doesn’t count since it’s a group thing you can tell about all of them). What are they passionate about? What distinguish them? What makes them unique? What are they like taken out of context from their adventures? What do they bring in the group’s dynamic?

When they’re taking decisions is often a reflection or a consequence of the reactions of the other Pogues around them and one time they react a certain way taking the lead and another they react differently being sweeped by the others, the only time you see them show up some character is in the midst of action and even then they just go with the flow. The only time you see them showing vulnerability and get a look inside their feelings (outside of their love story) is in front of tragedy and when they’re victims, that’s the only time you get to see what’s going on inside their heads. The only time they talk about their dreams and aspirations in life is still about the couple, getting married, having kid etc.

For the most part it feels like they just go wherever the wind will take them, it’s the main plot about the adventure that makes them interesting but there was not much thought put into their personalities and I think part of it was because they basically became a couple right from the get go, ever since 1x03 they’ve been moving together and evolving together and everything about them was built around the foundations of their relationship, even when they grieved their fathers we barely saw them struggling with that individually, even when Sarah lost Ward the first time they made it about John B not understanding, even when Big John returned and John B started feeling conflicted they made it about Jarah and cheating, there’s not a plot in their story that doesn’t intertwine with their relationship and that doesn’t explore their insecurities as individuals outside of the couple. All their struggles, all their aspirations, all their problems, all their feelings, all their way of reacting to things is always based around the couple and about moving together and having consequences on the relationship.

Taken separately I couldn’t tell what they’re like, I think they are very difficult characters to connect with and for someone to see themselves into them, there’s no depth to them outside the events happening to them and outside their love story, there’s no world built around their personalities. What are they like individually? After 4 seasons I still fatigue to see it.

If you were to ask me “how would you describe Pope/JJ/Kiara/Cleo?” I’d be able to answer in a heartbeat but if I were asked “how do you describe Sarah? How do you describe John B?” I’d genuinely struggle to find something to say.

And to be honest I think this goes deeper into the fact that 1. the writers started off amazingly in season one with building an entire world around the show and characters but they got progressively lost and it got to a point where they don’t even know where they’re going with their stories and characters development 2. these writers generally struggle with writing female characters, Kiara and Cleo were just given the opportunity to be seen for themselves before their ships which helped built their characters and the audience perception of them, but in S4 they also became very much couple dependent in their storylines, something that they tend to do a lot with giving more depth to the boys backstories and minds and “using” the girls for the guys plot getting more layers (I mean, look at Kiara in S4…that was another different person, so passive).

I loved all of the Pogues and I ship all the canon couples, I like John B and Sarah and I LOVE Jarah…but I find them difficult to be taken in consideration as individuals. This is not hate towards the characters who are still good hearted and with beautiful stories, it’s a criticism to the writers who I think could’ve done a better job at giving them depth and characterization.

This is a very personal take and my own perception of the show, probably many people don’t agree at all ‘cause they were able to see something I wasn’t able to see in them and I guess that’s the beauty of a story, each person gets different things to take away from it, but I can’t help but feel this way and after 4 seasons when we’re supposed to feel like we know the characters like the back of our hand I still feel the same as the beginning with them.

Don’t hate me, it’s just my humble opinion and it’s ok to disagree with it 💀

[theambitiouswoman]

Do you do any cosmetic procedures? Do you think any of them, helped you in some way? I talk like “pretty privilege” has helped you?

I am trying a position as a flight attendant, I’ve worked in a luxury hotel for almost a year, have customer service experience, I talk 3 languages, have lived aboard for two years and worked. But I’ve tried, and they denied me twice. So I think I just need to do procedures, like lip fillers so I can look more pretty and feel a little more good with myself and more confident. Consequently, I will feel confident and get the job. Does it make sense?

First of all, I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been denied the flight attendant position—it sounds like you have an incredible background with so much to offer! I am sure it’s also a very competitive position to get into?!

Before I go on, I don’t want you or anyone reading this to think they have to look a certain way to get things in life.

I am not against plastic surgery. I think getting a lot of plastic surgery can be unhealthy for sure, but I don’t think there is anything wrong with fixing an insecurity you may have especially if it will make you feel better about yourself.

Procedures like lip fillers or other enhancements can help you feel more confident and prettier, yes. Little tweaks really do go along way. You don’t need them to be pretty!!!!!! But the tweaks can definitely make a difference. However, they should be a personal choice—not something you feel pressured to do because of societal standards.

It’s true that appearance can sometimes play a role in industries like aviation or hospitality, where presentation is a factor. But it’s not everything. You clearly have experience, have you ran through the interviews in your mind and thought about your responses? I would personally go online and look for girls who are flight attendants and see what they say about their job and how they got it. I actually follow one girl, I will find her and send to you via message.

Your thought process makes sense: if you feel more confident, you’ll project that during interviews, and confidence is magnetic.

Is pretty privilege real? Yes. Do people treat you better? Yes. Do you have to look a certain way to benefit from it? Absolutely not. However, you do need to put effort into your appearance and presence. Brush your hair, keep your nails polished, and wear clothes that fit well and make you feel confident. When you feel good in what you’re wearing, it shows. A great attitude and a genuine smile can go a long way because people are naturally drawn to confidence. Pretty privilege isn’t about meeting a specific standard of beauty—it’s about presenting yourself in a polished, intentional way that reflects confidence. Honestly a lot of girls underestimate how much more attractive they can look just by doing little things like switching up their hair style or even just blowdrying their hair. Especially hair.

Start with the basics: healthy skin, neat hair, and a scent that leaves a good impression. Speak clearly and warmly, stand tall, and make eye contact to exude confidence. Fitness and good posture also play a role, as they enhance how you carry yourself. Highlight your best features and embrace your unique vibe, whether it’s your sense of humor, elegance, charm, creativity etc

Beyond appearance, kindness, intelligence, and charm are incredibly attractive. People remember how you make them feel so radiate warmth & empathy. Ultimately, pretty privilege is about how you carry yourself and the energy you bring, not just about looking perfect. Confidence, individuality and a polished presence are what truly make you stand out.

At the end of the day, you deserve to feel your most confident and beautiful self. Do what makes you happy, I commend your dedication to presenting yourself in a way that aligns with your goals and makes you feel good.

[navigatingenm]

A deep dive into still waters: How to self-soothe in waves of Whoosh - Part 5

Understanding and Integrating Your Experience

Self-soothing is not just about managing emotions in the moment—it’s also about deepening your understanding of your emotional landscape and using that insight for long-term growth. In this section, we’ll explore how reflective practices like journaling and self-compassion help you integrate these self-soothing techniques into your life and relationships.

A. Self-Reflection and Journaling

Self-reflection is a powerful tool for understanding your emotional responses and tracking your progress in self-soothing. Journaling, in particular, allows you to document your emotional patterns, identify triggers, and observe how your self-soothing practices are working over time.

By regularly journaling about your experiences, you can gain valuable insight into what triggers specific emotions and how you respond to those triggers. For example, you might discover that jealousy is often linked to feelings of insecurity, and by tracking how self-soothing practices like mindfulness or grounding have helped you manage those feelings, you can refine your emotional toolkit.

Journaling also provides a safe, non-judgmental space to explore your thoughts and feelings in greater depth. This can be especially helpful when navigating complex emotions like jealousy, where underlying fears or past experiences might be contributing to your emotional response.

B. Developing Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is an essential part of emotional regulation. It’s easy to be hard on yourself when intense emotions like jealousy or anxiety arise, often leading to cycles of self-criticism or shame. Self-compassion helps break this cycle by encouraging kindness and understanding toward yourself, particularly when you’re struggling.

This is especially important when self-soothing doesn’t immediately "work" or when difficult emotions resurface. Instead of blaming yourself for not feeling better right away, self-compassion allows you to accept that emotional regulation is a process, not a quick fix.

One way to cultivate self-compassion is through self-affirmation. In moments of distress, try offering yourself reassurance, such as, "It’s okay to feel this way. I’m doing my best to manage this emotion." Over time, this practice can create a more supportive and patient inner dialogue, reducing emotional reactivity and helping you approach self-soothing with greater openness.

C. Applying These Practices in Relationships

While self-soothing is an individual process, its benefits extend into your relationships. When you’re able to regulate your emotions more effectively, you can communicate more clearly, approach conflicts with a calmer mindset, and build stronger, healthier dynamics with your partners.

In ethical non-monogamy self-soothing can play a critical role in maintaining relational harmony. By calming your initial emotional response, you can approach difficult conversations with a partner from a place of clarity and empathy, rather than reacting impulsively or defensively.

Sharing your self-soothing process with your partners can also create more transparency and mutual support in your relationships. By letting them know how certain practices help you, you foster a more compassionate dynamic. In some cases, these practices—such as mindfulness or grounding techniques—can even be practiced together, deepening your connection.

Integrating these practices into your relationships doesn’t mean suppressing difficult emotions or avoiding challenging conversations. Instead, it’s about recognising when to turn inward to process your feelings and when to engage in open communication with your partners. This balance strengthens emotional resilience both individually and relationally, allowing for healthier, more supportive connections.

Here’s the conclusion, followed by a proposal for some accurate references to append to the article.

Conclusion

A. Embracing the Process

Self-soothing is a journey, not a quick fix. The techniques and strategies outlined in this guide are tools that help you manage emotional distress, whether it’s jealousy, anxiety, or another intense emotion. But it’s important to recognise that emotional regulation is an ongoing practice—one that evolves as you continue to deepen your understanding of yourself and your emotional triggers.

By committing to this process, you allow yourself the space to feel, process, and grow. Some days, self-soothing will come easily; other days, it might feel like a struggle. What matters is showing up for yourself consistently, with compassion and patience.

B. Moving Forward with Confidence

As you move forward, continue developing these skills not just for yourself, but also for the people around you. The emotional resilience you build through self-soothing will benefit your relationships and your personal growth, making it easier to navigate life’s challenges with greater ease and confidence.

Remember that self-soothing is part of a larger emotional toolkit. While the techniques outlined here are valuable for managing your internal responses, sometimes external support—whether from friends, partners, or a therapist—is just as important. Use these tools in combination with a healthy support system to foster long-term emotional health.

Further Reading

Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are. This book provides foundational insights into the neuroscience of emotional regulation and the importance of relationships in shaping our capacity to self-soothe.

Davidson, R. J., & Begley, S. (2012). The Emotional Life of Your Brain: How Its Unique Patterns Affect the Way You Think, Feel, and Live—and How You Can Change Them. This text explores how emotional patterns are wired in the brain and how neuroplasticity plays a role in emotional resilience and self-soothing practices.

Linehan, M. M. (2014). DBT Skills Training Manual. A foundational text on Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), this manual provides detailed explanations of distress tolerance and emotional regulation techniques, including the TIPP strategy discussed in the guide.

Hayes, S. C., & Hofmann, S. G. (2020). Process-Based CBT: The Science and Core Clinical Competencies of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. This reference helps contextualise CBT’s approach to thought restructuring and behavioural activation, while also addressing critiques about its limitations.

Kabat-Zinn, J. (2013). Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness. This book is a classic reference on mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR), offering techniques that align with the mindfulness practices mentioned in this guide.

Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. Neff’s work on self-compassion is directly relevant to the guide’s section on developing self-compassion as a key part of emotional regulation.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. Porges’ work on the vagus nerve and its role in the body’s relaxation response underpins the discussion on the nervous system and somatic practices in this guide.

Overview of this Guide

Introduction

The Neuroscience of Self-Soothing Understand how the brain processes emotions and how self-soothing techniques can help rewire emotional responses.

Therapeutic Models and Self-Soothing Techniques Explore structured approaches like CBT, DBT, mindfulness, and somatic practices to manage overwhelming emotions.

Practical Approaches to Self-Soothing Learn step-by-step methods for building a self-soothing toolkit and applying techniques during emotional surges.

Understanding and Integrating Your Experience Discover how to use self-reflection, journaling, and self-compassion to understand emotional patterns and improve resilience.

Conclusion: Embracing the Process A reminder that self-soothing is an ongoing journey of building emotional resilience and finding balance.

[jessthetea]

From Jess's recent post Got me Clearly See how her entire look changed Drastically.

Cheekbones = Sharper

Eyelids = Bigger and Wilder

Lips = definitely Fillers

Jawline = Bigger and Thicker

Cheek pads = Entire Removed

Eyebrows = Eyebrows Lifted

Body = Stick to the Bone

Head = Lord I don't wanna say how bad it looks

A definition of how insecure from the inside looks like.

Jessica Moloney is a total messed.

Her face appears remarkably swollen, and her head seems disproportionately large in contrast to her frail body. One wonders whether this is simply the result of weight loss or a combination of other factors at play. I strongly suspect she’s had fillers added to her face, as she seems rather intent on achieving the rather bizarre "head on a stick" aesthetic. When I first came across that post of hers, I audibly gasped upon realizing it was indeed her. She looks far from healthy with her current frame, and I can only speculate on which unfortunate soul is responsible for butchering her face so abysmally—it certainly doesn’t suit her in the least.

Were I to see such a reflection staring back at me from the mirror, I’d scarcely dare leave the house, let alone attend a lavish event where I’d be photographed from all angles. Her recent appearance in photos and videos does lend some credence to Josey’s argument about a possible eating disorder, as it seems the only individuals who might regard such a look as attractive are those grappling with similar struggles. And before anyone hastens to judge, I speak from personal experience, having faced this very issue myself, so I can speak with a certain degree of understanding.

[tea-is-at-8-pm]

ABOUT THE EGO OF AZIRAPHALE, THE VISION IN BLACK AND WHITE. (The superiority of heaven)

Let's clear some things up for my heart's sake.

We had a kiss. A remarkably uncomfortable and sad one because he is not fully reciprocated, and it must be said that Michael Sheen has a very marked acting ability in the minutiae of an expression. Let me explain: in his roles, he places a conscious emphasis on movements, especially on the face, they are fluid and congruent in a way that looks very thoughtful. The Aziraphale character seemed to have this potential from the first season. Now, in the second there was an overflow. The way Aziraphale immediately looks at the door and the window right after the kiss is heartbreaking. If we think about how Crowley genuinely thought Zira was "very pure of heart", there's a lot to it that Aziraphale's face doesn't just reflect confusion. He's not an angel used to this apparently. Crowley spoke to him clearly for the first time, in more than 6000 years in which we know he was completely infatuated with him, Of course the sudden approach must have been a shock, Aziraphale responded to the act of speaking with a, probably more than difficult "I need you", taking into account his pride. That pride that is there when not only does he not want to continue talking to Crowley and he is resigned and strong when saying "there is nothing left to say", but when he puts his hardest face when saying "I forgive you", when he touches his lips and makes his face more firm to receive Metatron, or even since he got mad at Crowley for not helping him with Gabriel from the first chapter. That proud Aziraphale that we already know and who is manipulative to some extent, unaware of the problems he has as an angel and which he faces only when he thinks he has done wrong. That pride arises from the same insecurity of being insufficient for heaven. Being on Earth, and with Crowley, it was obvious that he would have to be even more insufficient. I think Crowley understands that. And I think he also understands himself in this way and not just the corruption and toxicity of heaven when he assures him that he understands everything better than Zira does.

Crowley understanding Zira's insecurities shows a side to him that Angel himself lacks and that we understood a little better when, in this season, we saw Aziraphale being insensitive with the less fortunate people, as if he did not understand the capabilities of their choices for their privileges. Crowley gets it very quickly. They have been on Earth for the same time and both have lived with humans a lot, but even so, Zira does not see these things. His ego prevents him, his ability to think about the whole paradigm is very distorted and isolated. Crowley helps him, understand it, so Crowley also distinguishes problems that Zira doesn't, like in 1941, like with the demons outside the bookstore...

Now, I must emphasize very much that Aziraphale is not, because he has a very high ego, a "bad angel", in fact we know that his will is the best, and because of that delicate or weak construction of his mental structures with respect to other people's experiences, even Crowley's own, Zira doesn't realize anything. He doesn't know why he is unhappy in satisfying heaven, he doesn't know what's wrong with enjoying certain things, he doesn't even understand how he looks through Crowley's eyes, and when he realized that he fell in love with him, in 1941, it was not because he understood that Crowley wanted him safe, nor because he realized that he cared enough to give him the miracle of books. It is because of a full individual response to feeling authentically understood. Understood in the tastes that it took so long to learn to tolerate in himself for the freedom of the earth, some without guilt, such as literature. We don't have to judge Zira for this. A large number of people find it difficult to understand the world through the eyes of others, due to a lack of the skills that give extroversion, the chance of upbringing or pure personality. And out of pride, for not understanding that heaven may not be perfect because it is cemented down to the bones that are the representation of good and light, even when they are blatantly corrupt, he he does not have a clear perception of the movements of a heaven that still seems to want war. Metatron himself wanted the war to happen, his authority seems to reveal that he is not even in direct contact with God... Aziraphale is that angel who still believes in magic and who, knowing that heaven must be perfect, fueled by the recognition they ultimately give him, he believes that he should and has the responsibility to fix everything. He cannot understand his place and will cling to what he believes that by strong customs and perceptions or prejudices of heaven and hell, is the right thing.

Crowley thinks that Aziraphale is pure, understanding that he believes him to be innocent. Crowley understands that the angel's pride does not come from evil, he would not attribute it to the eyes of a lover not to realize it, Crowley knows about his pride, his insecurities, all of that, and knows that the origin of this is not bad, that it comes from some good heavenly intention to be useful and good.

That's why it hurts so much that, from that place that is good for Aziraphale, perfection, he can't love Crowley.

Aziraphale continues to aim upwards in his goals and Crowley simply understands that his ultimate goal is to defend and be emissaries and representatives of humanity, always being together. Of course, Crowley knows that he loves Zira, for much longer than he probably wants to admit. This would help to understand what Viktor Frankl would call "the ultimate end", love. It is easy for him to fall in love with someone for whom he also has a congenital admiration, which perhaps is not the case because Crowley despises heaven in its simplest meaning, and he denies God's will as unknown, fickle, and apparently full of favoritism. On the other hand, Zira won't love Crowley until he understands the "shade of gray", that exist in heaven, hell or God himself. Until Zira accepts that his total structure and idiosyncrasy is based on an unfair image of heaven, and understands hell as an unfortunate but almost random place, and in which good angels fell for asking questions, in which angels capable of loving and doing good reside, not as Crowley's Aziraphale presumes, but as acts that do not inherently belong to Angels and therefore, nothing to do with heaven, he will be able to love Crowley as he (and I add this because I want him to be happy) deserves it.

So Zira's expressions can be understood as a sad pain of somehow loving a demon that doesn't want to be saved, and for that reason, may be unworthy. Still we know Zira adore him, but it is not enough. Crowley understands that it is not enough because perhaps he had not realized how deeply Aziraphale still believes in good and bad without making distinctions. They showed us how difficult it is for Zira to accept the lesser evil in Chapter 3.

Imagine that even after 6000 years someone who knows you well, whom you love, continues to believe that, because of your origin, you are unworthy, and your only redeeming qualities come from heaven, that tried to kill him before! Of course Crowley is heartbroken! Of course Aziraphale is afraid and certainly of course Zira needs to understand all this all alone. It also pains me to believe that Zira doesn't understand why Crowley rejected him, and continues to reject heaven. He doesn't understand and he doesn't want to understand, and if Crowley had told him how he felt when Gabriel told him, thinking he was Aziraphale, to shut his stupid mouth and die already, maybe he would have understood... But of course, Crowley doesn't talk about this. It's one of the issues they couldn't address now that they were "getting serious." I bet it hurts Crowley just to mention it.

I understand Aziraphale more than I want to. Because he is a very naive idealist. And he doesn't want to miss the opportunity to just do good. He unfortunately dragged us the moral superiority of him by trying.

So... to hell everything, to heaven or wherever else .

[andrewlovely]

It's amazing the loops people will jump through and the lies they'll tell themselves to avoid confrontation.

I met a man who submitted others to impossible tests they could not possibly pass in order to assure himself beforehand of his own disappointment and affirm to himself afterwards his own superiority - a sense of superiority which became necessary to begin with and was born out of his own feelings of inferiority at not being able to confront others directly.

He doesn't give others a sincere chance to reflect on and change their behavior, because "they should know better" and it's not his responsibility. But really he doesn't give others that chance because he is scared of confronting them. And what scares him the most is that they might actually be receptive and change their behavior towards him - because then he would be forced to let go of his self-righteousness and sense of victimhood.

On some unconscious level he is aware of this self-deception, and so he engages in counterfeit confrontation to appease what his better instincts are telling him: that he's being unfair to others... and to satisfy his conscience that "an attempt was made!" He convinces himself that clever innuendo and subtle, or not-so-subtle insinuations are the same as direct communication.

- "How could they be so obtuse? Do I have to spell it out for them?!"

- "Why don't you just tell them that what they're doing is bothering you?"

- "I shouldn't have to!"

And so the sense of superiority inflates as the fear and insecurity feeding that same need to feel superior, and in turn the vanity feeding the need to feel perpetually wronged, they retreat further into the shadows until they are wholly invisible to the self.

An identity forms rooted in bitterness. The individual experiences this bitterness as bitterness towards others, but the real bitterness is towards the self, the resentment for not being able to stand up for one's self and express reasonable grievances clearly and respectfully.

The individual feels such disappointment in his self that he unconsciously sets up others to disappoint him in order for the way he already feels about himself to be mirrored, and in a way, validated in others. Should someone pass his test, this would threaten the way he feels about himself and create dissonance between the inner and outer worlds. Therefore, the test must be made impossible to pass. The game is rigged from the start and with each inevitable loss the ego's need to be right feels it's winning. Meanwhile, the heart suffers terrible, almost inaccessible pain.

I used to be a variation of this person. Not so much in terms of testing people, or setting traps for others (that’s a… strange breed), but definitely in terms of cultivating a sense of superiority to compensate for feelings of inferiority… inferiority at not being able to confront others directly, and resorting instead to sarcasm, irony, insinuations, avoidance, etc, to sustain the false sense of superiority and stay away, far, far away from that terrifying cliff of… <dun dun dun!>… actually addressing the problem! As if the world itself would implode and I would cease to exist if I dared to look someone in the eye and speak to them honestly about something they were doing that was bothering me.

I'm still a nonconfrontational person by nature, and I'll probably always be. But I no longer delude myself into thinking that it's for any other reason other than that I'm scared. There is no substitute for direct and honest communication. Everything else is just childish tricks and shadow games.

[meltthefrozenheart]

FROZEN THE MUSICAL // F1 & F2 (+ theories about F3): Why Colder By The Minute is a very important song.

"Colder By The Minute" is one of my favourite songs from Frozen The Musical, not only because it's the climax of the story in song-form, but also how the couple Kristen & Bobby Lopez came to realize how this whole situation works as two parallel duets:

"And the other thing we realized, that really helped us, [...] was that we realized that it was two duets: it was Anna and Kristoff, and it was Elsa and Hans, in a duet. Once we realized that, and those were the pairs we were trying to connect, then we were able to put the puzzle piece together in Bobby's computer, bit by bit."

Kristen Anderson-Lopez (Colder By The Minute - Commentary)

After the ensamble (rappresenting the snow storm), we have Anna, and then Elsa, taking the center of the stage and singing their lyrics, while Kristoff and Hans sing respectively as the "other-half" of these duets.

For me, this song is amazing because it reflects pefectly that "narrative balance" in Anna & Elsa arcs that the Musical manages to do, compared to the movie, which's mainly Anna's story (but this is for obvious reasons: more time, more songs etc etc). What the Musical enforces even better is Kristoff & Hans role, with their arcs becoming, the more time passes, perfectly parallel to those of Anna & Elsa.

"Colder By The Minute" summs up this narration, showing how insecure and desperate these two girls are, "supported" in opposite ways by these two male characters (Kristoff out of his genuine love/Hans out of his lust for power), who are much more experienced with the outside world.

As we know, the sisters will disprove these "fairy-tale archetypes", each one solving their own issues themselves, thanks to each other, with Anna performing the act of true love by sacrifying herself to save Elsa, and Elsa finding the way to control her powers and freeing Arendelle from the Eternal Winter, all thanks to Anna's proof that she deserves love:

Frozen 2 gives me the idea that, working on the Musical in general (this song afterall it's the climax), than the next step was for Anna & Elsa to follow a even clear parallel path, something that would focus entirely on THEM as individuals, making their own choices, rediscovering their own family heritage, under the more self-defining concept of "destiny":

In a way, I see the two sisters following "under a different light" the paths that Kristoff and Hans took in the 1st movie, with Anna facing the changes that are coming in her life and choosing to do what is right despite the cost (just like Kristoff chose to lose her forever to ensure her safety ) and Elsa searching for her true self, risking to cross a "determined line" for her own good (just like Hans schemed in order to plan her demise and take the throne).

The resolution shows then Elsa saving Arendelle from the tidalwave, helped by Nokk and being granted with the full power of Ahtohallan, thanks to Anna freeing the Enchanted Forest from its curse by destroying King Runeard's Dam, also thanks to the help of Kristoff and Lieutenant Mattias:

This is why my main clue in case of a Frozen 3 lies in the sisters "Balance", and in the idea that Kristoff & Hans can be the key to a new story now that our two protagonists have found their "roles in the world", going through a common journey where they both hold the responsability of this whole situation, of course in opposite ways, but it was truely about THEM (the sister central discussion happens in front of the remains of their own parents ship):

While Kristoff & Hans were the "experienced figures" in F1, Anna & Elsa are now the two "in charge" of this new status quo thanks to F2.

Even if less impactful, Kristoff has an arc, an evolution where we can see him letting some of his "inner-walls" down and finally express his feelings more openly, after a life-time used to be a nobody, living in the woods with only Sven and the Trolls giving him company, and now he's engaged to the Queen of Arendelle herself, that would clearly put him more under the spot light. Hans is not present, but it's clear that the "13th son of a king" everyone was looking at has now become a complete nobody, mocked and deprised, and with none caring about what was of him even after 3 years from his terrible actions.

Even if it's not as explicit as someone would expect (or hope for), there's actually a very strong, thin line of potential that the best way to handle Anna & Elsa status quo, to subvert things, and not losing the "Two world dynamic", may come from the only two other main human characters that actually had great importance in shaping their own present when they were struggling with their own past.

After all, Anna's relationship with Kristoff and their engagment resonates with the love of her own parents, which is now a symbol of the unity with the Northuldra, a new path she is leading Arendelle through, and Elsa's role as the Fifth Spirit is to connects the magic of nature and humanity, bringing balance through her powers and protecting the Enchanted Forest from threats like their own grandfather was:

Maybe I'm wrong ... but the logic seems to add up pretty well, considering what direction they took Frozen 2 on, how it parallels with F1 and how much the Musical was important in its development. The characters on a path that was meant to view the 1st Frozen itself under a different light, so that could be the next step in order to carry on certain themes and concepts, which doesn't mean we wouldn't get new things.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

falling.

pairing: carter baizen x reader

warnings: angst, cheating (sorta?)

part 1 / part 2

and it kills me 'cause i know we've run out of things we can say. what am i now? what am i now? what if i'm someone i don't want around? i'm falling again, i'm falling again, i'm falling. what if i'm down? what if i’m out? what if i'm someone you won't talk about? i'm falling again, i'm falling again, i'm falling and i get the feeling that you'll never need me again ...

Stay away from me. I don’t want to see your face.

Those words were burned and scarred onto his mind and no matter how much he drank, how much he smoked, how much he slept, he could still hear her voice echoing those same words which hit him like daggers. She’d meant those words, he knew her well enough to know when she meant something and she had meant every single letter of every single word she had muttered. He couldn’t escape them and the worse thing was, he couldn’t escape her face. He hadn’t seen her in the last three months but he couldn’t forget the look on her face, the look of disappointment and hurt. He was used to disappointing his family, that’s all he could do but he’d never disappointed her before. She’d been upset at him, he’d been upset at her but they’d never been disappointed at each other. They’d always been there for each other but now she was just gone and he daren’t even try approaching her. He knew her threats weren’t empty and he knew way too well not to mess with Y/N. She was sweet but at the end of the day she was a Vanderbilt heiress and if you got on her bad side, you could easily see it. Yet, that didn’t mean he didn’t miss her.

How could he not when she had been around since the very moment they were introduced for each other? He couldn’t really explain what they were and he didn’t want to dwell on it, he’d rather think to himself that she was gone rather than admit he was the one responsible for it. After all, wasn’t that what he always did? Run away from his problems and avoiding them, instead creating even more issues. It was easier after all. However, what he did not expect was to find her doing the exact same and he couldn’t help but admit how angry he was to see her with someone else. At Cotillion, with Chuck, it was easy to know it was nothing; after all, everyone with a pair of eyes knew all Chuck Bass was interested in was Blair and once Nate was off the picture, the two immediately became a thing. But now? Now he couldn’t convince himself of it, he couldn’t tell himself that she was trying to make him jealous as she stepped into a MET exhibition accompanied by someone whom he didn’t know. A Kennedy, he had heard, and how could Carter compete with a Kennedy? He could not but seeing his Y/N with someone else made his blood boil and his grip tight around the champagne glass. Clearly he had forgotten he was here with someone else as well, yet, that didn’t mattered. What mattered was that his Y/N was with someone else. 

He hadn’t even want to come to this exhibition in the first place, he’d even tried to argue it out with Serena yet it was no use, he was here now and he could see it; he could see them. He could see the man pointing to his Y/N introducing her to everyone in the room as if she didn’t already know them. And that smile, that smile that always got him to do anything she wanted. A smile that was for him no longer yet looked his way and faltered. He downed the cold champagne in his glass, staring back at her before she moved her gaze away, hand wrapped around her date’s arm. Carter shoved the champagne glass on one of the floating silver trays before making his way through the crowd like a wolf hunting its sheep until she reached her. Whomever she was with had left her alone, probably to get some drinks but he didn’t care.

      - We need to talk. 

      - No, we do not. - she grabbed a canape from a passing tray, a habit she had whenever she was uncomfortable at parties. 

      - Can you at least give me that? You ruined my family’s appearances at social events, you made your point. You owe me a talk.

      - That’s rich. - she looked over her shoulder, hoping her date would come and interrupt their interaction. 

      - Please. - his eyes scanned hers for any softness which still laid for him, yet he couldn’t read her eyes. They were hooded and hidden by thick black shadow and dark eyeliner which took away from how watery and bright they usually were, from how happy he remembered them. It’d been a long, long three months and part of him hopped all the care she had once held from him hadn’t died. He still held her in high regard and while he didn’t expect her for even care for him anymore, part of him still hoped she wouldn’t let him bleed out if she found him wounded. However, Y/N was much too smart to let her own emotions take over her in public situations and so she walked away.

Her gown dragged away all her insecurities and all the faltering which still seemed to dance around her whenever he was around, yards and yards of fabric dragged all that was bubbling all the way to her throat and she found herself walking faster and faster to the bathroom. Her hands flew to the porcelain sink, holding herself up as if the weight of all she had ignored for the past three months was pushing her down into the centre of the Earth. Her head snapped up, watching her reflection in the golden mirror; she thought maybe if she could see how pathetic she looked, she would snap out of it. 

     - Y/N. - her grip on the porcelain tightened up as she turned her head to see him against the closed door.

     - I hate you. - she almost barked those words at him, voice filled with poison as if she had wanted to say them a long time ago. His eyes softened, corners looking down, a far cry from how unreadable he always was. - With every fibre of my being, I hate you. 

     - Fine. - he made his way towards her, standing by her side. - I just wanted to say that I’m sorry I hurt you. I never meant to hurt you.

     - You humiliated me in front of everyone. - her eyes looked into his for the first time that night, old wounds still not completely wounded. - You kissed me in Santorini when you were with Serena. You are a bad person, Carter. 

     - I know but I wasn’t with her like I was with you.

     - Details of your relationship do not interest me, Carter. If you wanna talk about your relationship, I’d suggest couples therapy. 

     - We weren’t a couple in Santorini, Y/N. Did you seriously think I would’ve done that to you?

     - I don’t know you. - she spewed those words, letting go of the sink and walking backwards, away from him. - I don’t even trust you, Carter.

     - I hope you know I’m not asking for forgiveness from you. I’m just apologising. 

     - I don’t need your apology, I need you away from me. I want you away from me.   

     - You’re spoiled, you know that? - he pointed his finger at her. - Just because the whole world revolves around your family does not mean I’ll stop going places just because you don’t want to see me. You don’t get to decide what I do!

    - For someone who hates this lifestyle, you seem so bothered. - she stood there, not completely happy with the adjective he’d just placed upon her. Y/N Archibald was many things, but spoiled was not one of them. No matter how many riches she had, she did not expect the world to bend to her will.  - Why are you here if you’re just going to criticise me anyway? 

The two of them remained in that match, almost to see which one of them could hurt the one the most, as if hurting each other would somehow make the fact they weren’t together hurt any less. The truth was, both of them were stubborn individuals and while Y/N had been the most forgiving of the two, seeing the man she had always hoped would someday be hers with someone else had almost erased all of that. Maybe she was spoiled for expecting him to someday magically want her by his side but he was spoiled too. They were two flawed human beings staring each other, waiting to see which one would break apart first until he realised one thing; he did not want to see her break apart. He was bitter, angry at her even but deep down he knew there was no one to be angry at but himself. He had caused this and he was lashing out at her, hoping that by hurting her, he’d feel better about her hating him so much. However, he did not want to hurt her. At least no more than he’d already done, either willingly or unwillingly. 

    - You win. - he lowered down his hands in defeat. Y/N, however remained still yet if one were to touch her arm, they could feel she was trembling. - I can’t fight with you any longer.

He almost left her there standing, not sure of what to say. He really was going to leave, he was going to disappear for a while yet his decision faltered as his eyes almost too quickly scanned her, noticing the thin gold bracelet around her wrist. He had given her that bracelet, something he’d got from one of his first travels to Europe. It was nothing too special, in all honesty, compared to what she was wearing, it was probably the cheapest thing she had on her person but he remembered that bracelet way too well. He remembered giving her the small little bag, her little argument about how he shouldn’t have gotten something for her, how she promised she’d never take it off. She still had it, she still wore it. 

     - You’re wearing the bracelet I gave you. - he pointed towards her wrist and she immediately covered it, looking at it for a bit before looking up at him.

     - Fine. - her voice almost broke as she tried to undo the clasp.

     - Don’t. - his voice however broke down as she found the clasp. - You promised. 

Her aura softened, shoulders lowering to a neutral position as her hand unwrapped from her wrist, her eyes gazing the shiny gold metal before she looked up and at him. Whatever fire her anger had ignited within her went down, washed away like the waves onto the sand and for the first time she moved forward until she was close enough to feel his breathe on her face. Her eyes heightened up to his, lips half parted as her hands cupped his face, the same face she had seen grow older over these years yet remain the same blue eyes which were so typically his. Her finger grazed his cheekbone, the mere action making him nuzzle his face against her warm. She always had warm hands and the both of them no longer wanted to fight. She was tired and Carter was deadly afraid of not ever talking to her again, he could not lose her. He did not want to lose her. 

There was no sound, not even the soft music outside seemed to break the silence, all that was around was their breathing, soft and slow. Her eyes moved from his to his lips, pink tinted, tainted with the taste of champagne which she could smell from his breathe. Soft emotion filled eyes looked his for a second before she moved closer, closing the distance between them. Her hands moved from his chest to rest against his chest as she tasted the champagne on his lips. His hands held her waist flush to him, before he two broke off the kiss, foreheads leaned against each other.

    - Don’t leave.

[edwardelricsrightarm]

"A lesson without pain is meaningless. For you cannot gain anything without sacrificing something else in return, but once you have overcome it and made it your own...you will gain an irreplaceable fullmetal heart." - Edward Elric

In honor of disability month and the FMA 20 year anniversary I wanted to address some Thoughts™️ about the series.

It's not often you see a disabled protagonist in media where their disability is integral to the story without taking up their entire character, even more so with anime. Yet, Fullmetal Alchemist has not just one disabled Protagonist, but two. The Elric Brothers are an exemplary representation of disability in media that I find myself reflecting on often as a disabled person myself. If you haven't completed the manga or Brotherhood, skip this as it will be brimming with spoilers.

(Mangahood will be my point of reference because while 03 is good on its own merits it's not as fresh within my immediate memory, and I am far less familiar with it. Keep this in mind, I've watched FMAB 10 and a half times whereas I've finished 03 only once years ago.)

The story highlights their disabilities immediately, Edward being a double amputee and Alphonse being without his ENTIRE body, only having the senses of proprioception, sight, and hearing left. Yet, despite this being key to the story and an integral part of their characterization, it is only one facet of their motivations and doesn't take center in the narrative, which is refreshing. It's not inherently negative to make a narrative centered on the characters' disabilities, but often this model of a story goes very wrong very fast and starts to feel hollow (no pun intended). FMA avoids this by making their disabilities a clear part of the plot and their motivations without allowing it to consume the entire story, so the Elric Brothers don't suffer the "my disability is all of my character" problem that many disabled characters are relegated to in a vast portion of media, all while being strong and competent.

Recap:

The brothers wished to revive their mother, but their good intentions cannot change the atrocity of their mistake, Truth makes this abundantly clear from the start. Edward loses his leg first, a punishment for "stepping" into God's shoes and transgressing the place of humans in their world. Alphonse loses his entire body, unable to feel any warmth or simple comforts like food and rest, when all he wanted was to feel the warmth and comfort of his mother's embrace again. At first, Alphonse's entire being is consumed by the gate, but Edward acts immediately, refusing to lose his little brother and refusing to allow his arrogance in this plan to cause his brother's death for only following his lead. Edward gives his right arm to have the gate give back Alphonse's soul, and stated clearly in his panic that he'd give his entire self to save Alphonse if that's what it would take, but Truth took his dominant arm only, showing something akin to mercy, although the character of Truth is capriciously strict and hard to describe as "merciful".

Through giving up his right arm, Edward regains his Right Hand Man, his little brother and best friend. His only remaining family, who he feels responsible for protecting in the absence of their parents. He felt immediately that he'd made a grave mistake, instantly full of regret as he realized the gate had taken his brother. In that moment he was willing to give anything to take it back and undo the suffering his arrogance caused his brother, yet Alphonse was still to suffer more to come. Ed tied Alphonse's disembodied soul to one of Hohenheim's collected suits of armor, managing to at least keep his brother alive in some way. One could say that Alphonse's punishment functioned as a secondary punishment for Edward, showing him how easily his hubris could have cost him what he has left in his obsession with regaining what they'd lost, their mother. A very clear symbolic reminder of the weight of his actions and how he'd misled his brother in his own naive ignorance. Even in giving another limb away to drag his brother's soul back out of the gate, he couldn't offer enough to bring him back intact. Thus is the law of equivalent exchange.

Now that we've reviewed some of that basic symbolism and the motifs the story draws upon with limbs and body parts in relation to characters, let's move on to each individual brother and break it down, shall we?

Edward Elric is a very realistic protagonist, this is one thing a majority of us familiar with this series can agree upon. He feels like a believable teen boy, with layers of complexity to his character while also showing arrogance and immaturity that is unsurprising at his age. He expresses unwillingness to kill and avoidance of unjust violence from the beginning, and has a strong moral code after the ordeal of committing the taboo.

In some characters his cocky personality would typically become grating, yet the story explains in itself why he is this way, then builds upon this to develop him into an incredibly mature character who is willing to admit when he's absolutely wrong and adapts to new information and context for the crisis unfolding around him as it comes, even if he remains crass. This arrogance is shown from the start to be a manifestation of insecurity, self loathing, and repressed guilt. Edward is a logic driven person, he has a very unique thought process, which is where my interpretation of him as autistic comes in. Edward's awkward social demeanor, somewhat abrasive and cold approach to some, and his trouble coping with nonsensical societal structures all stand out in this way. Furthermore he clearly shows hyperfixation, hyperactivity, special interest, and infodumping behaviors that are all too familiar. He's picky with food (*cough* the milk thing), has very little filter and speaks his mind bluntly even if this can warrant conflicting responses, yet at the same time struggles with vulnerable emotions, and he is frustrated when his own routine or itinerary are interrupted by forces beyond his control. All of these things Scream autism with comorbid ADHD. Many traits are shared between the brothers, and I'm quite certain they're both on the autism spectrum based on behavioral patterns. Neurodivergence aside, Edward's physical disabilities are undeniable.

Despite his bratty persona, Edward is fundamentally kind and uncharacteristically gentle and soft around the edges for a shonen protagonist in many ways. He cries openly on many occasions even if he struggles talking about his trauma and burdens in words at times, he feels pain, grief, and compassion so intensely it throws him into action on a regular basis in the narrative. In this way he's also a fantastic example of non-toxic masculinity (though in other ways he has displayed more toxic traits, he's just a kid). He acts on his heart, even if he's led by his mind and logic in most things. His humanity, value for life, and care for others will always win over his logic, and he shows a sense of personal responsibility for doing the right thing even if it harms him in the process. Ed is clearly shown having ghost pains in his lost limbs which is honestly an interesting detail to include, I don't think I've ever seen that aspect of amputation shown in media aside from FMA. It's also shown that when Ed's automail arm breaks this is a HUGE problem for him, but he's also shown to be very good at working around this in difficult circumstances. He doesn't become completely helpless, even if majorly weakened.

Alphonse is an extremely lovable and compassionate boy, brimming with altruism and care for others. Even in his noncorporeal state he pursues a better future and he's not helpless by any stretch. Edward clearly states Alphonse is the superior fighter for example, and it's not just because of his armor body being so large. He's *talented*, that's a fact. Al is every bit as clever and capable as Ed, moreso in some ways, and I love that about his character *because* he's so clearly disabled. He has no sense of pain, he is completely incapable of sleeping, he can't eat, can't relax or find comfort, he can only exist and think. This causes him to overthink in all his time alone, this is debilitating. He clearly is absolutely sick of the loneliness this causes, and he often feels helpless though he's not. He has doubts and fears that consume him in relation to his armor body, he questions his own personhood, even. Yet, Edward is stubborn and staunch in affirming that no matter what he's dealing with, he is fundamentally still a human being that is loved and irreplaceable. Alphonse is powerful and his body gives him some advantages, but it also sets him back, and the brothers know this even when others claim Alphonse's state is somehow a good thing. I have hEDS, a disability that comes with advantages as well as the major downsides, so I can understand and relate to Alphonse here. I too am told my disability is a boon because of flexibility and because I'm less likely to fracture bones, but I'm twice as likely to injure my ligaments and joints, which people ignore.

The brothers are both disabled, both flawed, both show weaknesses, but they are competent, determined, and strong in their own right. They are rounded characters that exist for more than to be pitied or condescended to by able bodied characters around them. They put their entire being in everything that they do no matter what that is, and they don't know the meaning of giving up. These traits that they're made of truly make them a shining example of disability in protagonists for others to look to for reference when writing their own disabled characters.

Even though by the end Edward has regained one limb and Al has regained his body, this also doesn't just deus ex machina reverse their disability or make it go away. It's clear that Alphonse's body is weak and has to be rehabilitated upon recovery, and Edward is still missing his leg and bears the scars and pieces of the port from his automail arm. They weren't suddenly made able bodied upon recovering these things, they reclaimed what was lost through struggle and grit, but the narrative didn't give the impression that their disability in itself was something to be fixed, which is important. They wanted to recover their bodies, but this doesn't erase the effects of their disability.

It was about Edward atoning for leading Alphonse into their mistake and saving his brother from suffering further, it was about them proving they can keep moving forward no matter what, not about getting rid of their disability in itself or putting themselves down because of the disabilities. This, to me, as a mentally and physically disabled viewer, is so important. They achieve their goal, but this doesn't in any way erase or undo the effects of their initial losses, they find ways to adapt and move on but they're still affected and still disabled. They always will be. That can be so important to see in comfort characters, and as a disabled individual who's had both brothers as comfort characters since I was a child, their impact on my own journey is surprisingly tangible for fiction.

[sirikenobi12]

This Capt' goes down with her Ship

I’m honestly amazed at how many messages I receive both here and on Twitter that ask me why I ship Obi-Wan with Siri Tachi over Satine Kryze. I guess I’m mostly amazed because I can’t believe people actually care enough to take the time to message me about my character preferences, that’s just really fascinating to me. 

But, since I’m getting tired of writing this out in individual messages I thought perhaps a blog would be a good idea so that way I can just reference/link them to it later - it’ll be much easier. So, bear with me while I get a little self indulgent (and Satine stans please don’t come at me, I will explain below how I really have nothing against Obitine). 

This is going to be really long, and I’m not expecting anyone to actually read this, but here we go! 

I’ll begin by answering questions that are sitting in my inbox:

1. Who the hell is Siri Tachi?? For those who don’t know the character of Siri Tachi, she was a female Jedi who was two years younger than Obi-Wan. She was originally from the Legends young reader book series Jedi Apprentice and Jedi Quest (written by Jude Watson). She was in many of the same Padawan classes as Obi-Wan even though she was two years his junior because of her advanced skills. She could hold her own against him in a lightsaber duel even as they grew up. She was chosen as an apprentice to Jedi Council Member Adi Gallia at age 11 which was very impressive given how young she was and the fact that a Council Member chose her.

(I don’t know why she looks like Brittany Spears in this drawing, not my fave)

She did have a hard time fitting in with her peers when she was younger though because she was so focused on her career as a Jedi which didn’t always make her the friendliest person to be around (it was really her masking her insecurities) and it was only after she was paired on several missions with Obi-Wan that they even became friends. 

She and Obi-Wan over the years grew very close and eventually discovered their feelings had crossed the line from friends to something more while on a mission when they were older Padawans (Obi was 18). They had been separated from their masters and nearly died while on that mission. So, before they “died” they each confessed their love to the other, but when it turned out they didn’t actually die they decided they’d wait and figure out what their relationship actually meant once the mission was over - putting duty above their feelings. But Qui-Gon and Yoda intervene before the two of them could have the conversation and the Masters reminded Obi-Wan of his dedication to the Jedi Order. Obi-Wan argued that he and Siri would be able to find a way to be together while still being active Jedi, that maybe they could be an exception to the rule or even change the rule entirely. Both he and Siri did end up choosing their commitment to the Jedi over their relationship in the end, because each of them realized they’d regret not being Jedi more than anything, but it did put a strain on their friendship for many years. 

At 23 Siri was secretly knighted and her first solo mission was sent undercover to infiltrate and take down a huge pirate slaver operation and she spent 4 years on that mission, all on her own with limited communication with the Council.

In order to do this she had to pretend to have a falling out with her Master and “leave” the Order entirely, everyone thought she had fallen to the dark side. Obi-Wan was devastated, and he spent several months looking for her because he refused to believe she’d actually fall. It was also clear that he was heartbroken that she left, especially knowing what they had given up in order to be Jedi. Upon ending the mission she returned to the Jedi and was then often sent on other undercover missions throughout the rest of her career (including one where she and Obi-Wan had to play a royal married couple which was super cute). Her actually being a Jedi Shadow is not official and is a fanfiction creation - but, it’s one that I 100% headcanon because it just makes sense. 

Siri was very different when she returned from her long undercover mission, she had lived as a pirate for 4 years and so she was not as uptight and rule bound as she had been in her youth. She began to wear tight unisuits/flight suits instead of the traditional Jedi tunics and she had grown to be a bit more irreverent - even showing up late to Jedi Council summons.  Obi-Wan didn’t seem to mind the change and the two became a formidable pair as Knights and they were sent together (with their Padawans who hated one another) on several missions.

Obi-Wan and Siri were always written as being equals, never one more powerful than the other. They often shared flirtatious banter (nothing new for Obi-Wan) and they seemed very much in sync on missions that it was clear they shared some kind of bond. They never seemed to let their failed romance stand between them and their duty, and only brought it up once more as adults to admit that they still loved each other, but were content to just be friends because it would be selfish of them to turn their backs on the Jedi simply for their love. Then upon Siri’s untimely death (she of course died in his arms) she told him that she’d always be with him. And he nearly fell to the dark side due to his anger, but stopped himself from killing the man who was responsible for Siri’s death because he knew she’d not want him to fall because of her. 

In canon there isn’t much about her (yet), except that Siri is said to be the girl Obi-Wan would hold hands with under the table during mid-day meals which suggests that they had a bit of a secret affair/flirtation for many years.

2. Why don’t you like Satine? This is a bit of a loaded question because even though I tend to write fics centered more on Obi-Wan and Siri’s relationship doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy the character of Satine or that I don’t swoon over their relationship from time to time thanks to some very well written fics ( @mahizli​ I’m looking your way). I just tend to write Siri more than Satine because I can relate to Siri more as a character, but in truth I also feel Siri and Obi-Wan’s relationship is a bit more well rounded than his and Satine’s 

*ducks to avoid things being thrown at her*. 

Satine and Obi-Wan have a beautiful love story, don’t get me wrong. But for me personally I am a little sick of the Romeo & Juliette/star crossed lovers angle. And that’s totally what they are - She’s a Mandalorian, He’s a Jedi, it’s a forbidden love not just because of his code, but because their “families” were mortal enemies. And I guess I’m just not super inspired by it. Not to mention that they met as children (apparently only 15 years old according to canon), confessed their undying love for one another after a year of knowing one another in a life or death situation and then pined for each other for the next 20 years until they were reunited...I just have a very hard time finding this story relatable (and hate to say it, plausible). Not that they couldn’t have felt love for one another as teenagers (especially in that situation), but that they still felt that same level of love 20 years later without ever seeing one another...at least with Siri they still had to interact with one another on a regular basis so it would be harder to push those feelings aside. 

The other reason I have a hard time writing Satine and Obi-Wan is because the romantic love they seem to have in TCW is written to be very one sided in my opinion. While Obi-Wan clearly cares for her, and admits to having feelings for her at one time it’s only ever Satine who actually seems to want something with him in the current sense. Which honestly makes their relationship feels a bit cringy to me, it doesn’t feel like it’s on equal footing - and makes it seem like Satine is a bit obsessive (I don’t blame her, it is Obi-Wan after all). This is a similar argument I have about Padme’s character, I feel like we’re presented with these incredibly strong women characters who for whatever reason still fall apart when it comes to love...I think it’s a reflection of men trying to write women and it ends up being a bit of a fantasy (the sexy/badass woman who secretly needs a man to save her). So, to sum up - I really do  love Satine’s character outside of her relationship with Obi-Wan. 

Again, this is just MY interpretation of Satine and Obi-Wan’s relationship...I get other people tend to feel very differently and that’s wonderful!! 

I will say, the thing I do like about Obi-Wan and Satine’s relationship and very much appreciate is how it is an opposite parallel to Anakin and Padme’s relationship. And it shows what a Jedi should’ve done - how you can’t have both a commitment to the Jedi Order and a marriage, but you can still care deeply about another person. I do very much appreciate that aspect of their relationship and it’s very well done from that perspective.

3. So, why SiriWan after all these years? Well, I’m drawn to Obi-Wan and Siri’s relationship for several reasons, but mostly because they are written as equals/partners (as I had mentioned above), both have moments where you can see the love they hold for one another - their feelings are very much shared and not one sided, but above all it’s not the main defining factor of their relationship. They are Jedi and friends before anything else, and I love that! It may not be as flashy or maybe even as passionate as say Satine or Cody but to me it’s more full and well rounded. I can also see their relationship growing and changing over the years, they aren’t stuck in one place or in the past.  

I also tend to find the Jedi culture more fascinating than the Mandalorians. I know, I know, I’m a heretic. That’s not to say, again that I don’t think Satine on her own isn’t fascinating, I just am a little tired of Mandalore’s importance in virtually every aspect of Star Wars these days and I feel like there is only so much you can do with Obi-Wan having feelings for a Mandalorian, where as him navigating a relationship with another Jedi is more interesting. The Jedi are allowed to be intimate with people, contrary to popular belief they are allowed to love, they just can’t become possessive/attached - I feel like two Jedi would have an easier time navigating that than someone who wasn’t raised with that same code. I think Siri and Obi-Wan have more opportunities to have a more realistic and adult relationship and I like writing/exploring that. 

The other thing I like about Siri and Obi-Wan specifically is the fact that neither ever really considered leaving the Order for the other. They knew how important being a Jedi was to the other, and I think having a love interest that Obi-Wan didn’t consider leaving for is an important distinction. 

Instead he thought they would be able to change the rules/code because he assumed it would be obvious that their love was pure and not an attachment. Now, obviously they both realized later that it was just foolish/young love talking (because I’m sure teenagers have to be extra careful of forming attachments), but what I really adore the concept that Obi-Wan “by the code” Kenobi had loved Siri so much that he’d even remotely consider the idea that he’d want the rules to change for her/them (and Siri “by the code” Tachi felt the same about him). There is something incredibly romantic about that - naïve, but romantic. 

I also believe that romantic love doesn’t automatically equal “true love”. I personally feel that Obi-Wan and Siri have a love that is on such a deep level that their relationship doesn’t always have to be romantic. They simply just love one another, in whatever form that takes at any given period in time throughout their lives, sometimes it takes the form of just friends, sometimes lovers, sometimes romantic. And I wish we saw more relationships like that in various media. But I get why we don’t, they are harder to write and less overtly sexy/dramatic.

Also, when someone says the phrase:

“Forgive me if I still think I know you better than anyone.” (Siri)

And it’s followed immediately with:

“You do”  (Obi-Wan)

My heart just melts, because that to me is love!!

4. So, you actually think Obi-Wan loved both Siri & Satine? Yes, I do...100%. I think they all loved other people at different points in their lives. I personally feel that most of Obi-Wan’s various ships (with exceptions of Master/Padawan ships...sorry, just not my bag) actually happened. I could see a young Obi-Wan having a fling with Quinlan Vos (I doubt they could handle more than that), I could definitely see him have an attraction/affection towards Cody (I don’t think given the power dynamic Obi-Wan would ever allow anything to actually happen between them though), I even believe he and Ventress had a rather confusing and passionate night together (maybe even more than one), I can see him easily having a relationship at one point with Taria Damsin (to which Siri would give him endless crap about because he seems to have a thing for Jedi Shadows). I’m sure he even had a relationship with Annileen on Tatooine to help find some comfort during his exile. To me all of that makes so much more sense than him (and Satine) pining away for one another for 20+ years. 

Allowing Obi-Wan to have multiple loves in his life also helps showcase the idea of non-attachment. It’s not that Jedi promote promiscuity - though they won’t judge anyone for it (I see the Jedi very much in the mindset of: it’s your body/your choice) it’s that the idea of attachment means possessing someone, thinking you own someone and also putting that person’s value over others. The idea that Obi-Wan could find love and value in a multitude of lovers to me shows him capable of loving without attachment - He is able to let these people go when the relationship has run its course...it’s very healthy. 

Not to mention that realistically people tend to have multiple relationships and loves throughout their lives. To only ever love one person is incredibly unrealistic, unhealthy and frankly screams attachment to me *cough Anakin, cough*.

In conclusion: If you’re still reading this (did you not have anything better to do with your time???) I do hope you have a bit more of an understanding why I personally like to write Obi-Wan and Siri’s relationship instead of his and Satine’s. Though if you read my fics (thank you if you do) I hope you realize that I try to not make the stories all about their relationship - yes, it pops up here and there, but I try not to make it the focal point. I believe both Obi-Wan and Siri are so much more than just a romance and that’s what I really love writing. 

But I raise a glass and toast all of those who prefer to ship Obitine or CodyWan or Ventrobi (or whatever Obi-Wan and Quilan’s ship name is) - I love reading your take on those relationships and I hope you don’t mind if an old SiriWan shipper joins the fun!

Phew, rant over...man, does anyone else have to defend their OTP preferences to strangers?? It’s just so odd to me! 

Thanks for reading, and if you’re a Siri, Obi-Wan or SiriWan fan drop me a line - I can seriously talk about them for hours! 

[mbti-notes]

Hi MBTI. Not type related but I still want to ask because of your social insight. What does respect mean to you? I’ve met people who preach feminism but do not communicate honestly and clearly with girls they sleep around with (eg ghosting), which makes me think that feminism is just political theory, but in practice it means to truly respect other people regardless of their gender (ie being honest, clear and able to put ones anxieties/insecurities aside momentarily to ensure the well-being of

[con't: the other person). I asked myself exactly what respect entails, it’s a concept Ive taken for granted and thought I knew but realized I’ve never actually read/heard someone really putting into words. I’ve been reading online and a lot of people seem to muddle it with the word “admiration” and I think I disagree because I think respect is more about being open to sharing common ground and not placing someone above or below you, as admiration could cause. To me respect and  equality are more similar, and that’s how I linked it to feminism. How would you define respect? And what do you think about this? Thank you and all the best!<3 ]

You're mixing several issues together, which makes your question too complicated. Respect and making moral judgments are big enough topics without adding gender into the mix.

I remember once, a long time ago, I was grappling with a difficult moral dilemma. I approached a few people to talk about it. One person judged me as "incompetent" because the matter seemed quite easy in their mind. One person judged me as "weak" because I wasn't willing to just do what I wanted to do. One person judged me as "fake" because they thought I was only worried about appearing like a moral person in the eyes of others. One person judged me as "selfish" because I wasn't willing to sacrifice myself for the greater good. One person judged me as "overthinking" the matter because I was worried about more than just myself.

Of course, not being assholes, their judgments came out as veiled implications rather than direct criticisms. However, this example reveals some truth: People's moral judgments are often quite egocentric, a mere reflection of their own subjective ego conflicts about what it means to be a "good" or "bad" person. Whichever way they choose to conceptualize morality is what they expect of others (i.e. projection).

We all have to make moral judgments and navigate difficult moral situations. One thing that significantly influences people's ability to make good moral decisions is their level of ego development, you can read more about it in the Type Dev Guide. Suffice it to ask: Is your conception of morality more rule-based (i.e. about the power to judge) or more virtue-based (i.e. about the wisdom to do right)?

The more egocentric someone is, the more invested they are in maintaining a positive self-image, and the more sensitive they are to any data that would threaten their ego and suggest that they are a "bad" person. Egocentric people are more likely to use a rule-based approach to morality because its starkness and simplicity allow for easy detection and deflection of ego threats. If morality is a simple matter of knowing the rules of right and wrong, then moral judgments are a simple matter of whether people followed the rules.

For example, society says that you should work hard in school, get a good job, earn money, and your reward is that you are able to afford your life. Therefore, if you didn't succeed in school, you didn't get a good job, you can't earn much money, you can't afford the things you need, then there is something "wrong" with you. In short, you failed to follow the rules, so you deserve to be punished with the negative consequence of poverty. Rule-based morality is "safe" for the ego because there's no ambiguity that makes you doubt your moral judgment, and hence no reason to doubt your own moral worth.

People often talk about whether someone "deserves" respect, often because they want to make an argument that someone doesn't deserve respect for something bad they did. The more "admirable" someone is, the more respect they deserve? I will respect this person because they are "nice"? I will not extend respect to that person because they are "mean"?

If you approach respect with these "rules", you essentially get to play god. You get to sit on a high horse and judge people as worthy or unworthy. If you obey the rules of being an "admirable" person, you are called a "good" person, so you get rewarded with respect; whereas if you disobey the rules, you are a "bad" person, so you get punished with less respect or even disrespect. This way of thinking is rather childish. Notice how kids argue that they don't have to follow the rules when they see someone else breaking the rules. Their idea of morality boils down to whether they themselves win or lose.

Children, understandably, think in stark terms of reward and punishment because they are only starting to learn what it means to be an "acceptable" member of society. They only see what's on the surface because they aren't yet capable of more sophisticated moral reasoning. When an adult hasn't learned more sophisticated moral reasoning, they continue with the superficial idea of reward and punishment, only they take it further. Now that they are "adult" by society's superficial age standard, they possess the social status and thus the social power to dole out rewards and punishments to anyone "beneath" them in status. In essence, "I was subject to the rules as a child, and now I get to enforce the rules as an adult."

Adding gender into the mix, a lot of people abide by "rules" that they learned in childhood about what a "man" is, what a "woman" is, how they are different, and how people "should" behave according to their gender. Men, as a social group, are taught to obey one set of rules, while women, as a social group, are taught to obey another set of rules. This social conditioning shows up in people's implicit gender biases as well as outright gender discrimination.

If men, as a group, possess the majority of social power and privilege, they become the default reference point for everyone. Social and political decisions are predominantly made from their point of view, in accordance with their needs and desires, and this encourages them to treat women as objects that are only worthy of respect as long as they prop up masculine power. Women, as a group, are taught to see the world through the masculine perspective and believe that masculinity is superior to femininity, so they must behave submissively and serve their purpose to men.

As an individual man, if you follow the rules and elevate masculinity over femininity, you get rewarded with status and power. If you don't follow the rules, you get punished with lower status and being branded as undesirable (not a "real" man). As a woman, if you follow the rules and elevate masculinity over femininity, you get rewarded with some privilege and favors, but always safely within the bounds of masculine dominance. If you don't follow the rules, you get cruelly shamed into compliance and even ostracized if you are deemed a lost cause (not a "real" woman).

It is very difficult for individuals to counter social conditioning because so much of the learning happens unconsciously. It's a steep uphill battle for people to develop more self-awareness about the "rules" they have been taught to follow. And even when one becomes aware of having implicit biases or prejudices, it's not easy to rise above them. It takes a lot of conscious effort to go against lessons that were ingrained into your psyche since infancy. Furthermore, when you're a member of the social group that enjoys more power and privilege, there's very little incentive for you to change, in fact, you have much more incentive to preserve the status quo, which is why inequality is so difficult to remedy.

The unconscious nature of bias and prejudice is why ego development is very important. When you reach higher levels of ego development, your self-awareness grows, and that allows you to gradually shift from a simplistic rule-based morality to a more complex virtue-based morality which recognizes that moral issues aren't always black-and-white. Virtue-based morality is about what's actually in people's hearts and the role that moral conscience plays in decision making.

Taking the example from above: WHY did the person fail in school? Was it simply because they didn't follow the rules and work as hard as they should have? Or was it due to factors that were beyond their control, such as: an untreated learning disability, lack of school funding due to living in a poor area, a dysfunctional family situation that interfered with their learning process, etc?

Rule-based morality is about compliance and shaming people into the appearance of compliance. Virtue-based morality is about understanding and addressing the root causes of moral failing. To be capable of more complex moral reasoning is to dig deeper and ask more questions to get to the truth, which means that morality is no longer a simple matter. The gray areas start to appear, you start to see exceptions to the rule, and you become more empathetic because you're looking into people's hearts and seeing how they have suffered unfairly. You no longer stereotype and generalize about people but treat everyone as a unique individual with unique circumstances to take into account. Egocentric people don't want this level of moral responsibility because then they'd have to always question themselves about whether they are truly doing the right thing, and they would constantly have to confront the many ways they fall short in their morality.

When you truly see the harm of judging people by superficial appearances, you would never want to be a victim of it, and that helps you understand that you shouldn't be a perpetrator of it, either. When you truly see the harm of treating people unfairly based on gender, you would never want to be a victim of it, and that helps you understand that you shouldn't be a perpetrator of it, either. When you're able to empathize with people who were treated unfairly or victimized by unjust rules, you can't help but want to make things fairer for everyone (yes, equality). Virtue-based morality is about moral conscience in terms of what kind of person you hope to be, what kind of influence you want to have, what kind of society you want to live in, and whether you are actually a virtuous person in your heart rather than just appearing like one in public. When you show respect to people, it's not because they "deserve" it, it's because you know that you being respectful to everyone is the first step in helping to create a society that is more respectful to everyone.

[knochengeier]

Drawfee Classpects???

I set a while ago to spitefully Classpect the Drawfee crew because they rightfully made fun of homestuck.

PREFACE:

I should state clearly that this is not meant as an attack on any members of Drawfee, and that I will be leaving out the majority of the negative aspects of the analysis. It should also be mentioned that this is more of an analysis of their online personas rather than who they actually are.

I did mention that I would leave out most negative things, but some things are core to a persons persona something they consciously and willingly put out into the world; again, this is not what I actually think these individuals are like, and is not a reflection of how I feel about them as a person. Things like "Julia doesn't know media" and "Jacob is the bad boy of Drawfee" that are explicitly stated as part of the persona is free game.

So, without further ado

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Caldwell, Prospitian Muse of Breath:

A Muse is the embodiment of and the inspiration to others through their aspect. The Muse class is one in a pair of incredibly powerful and rare classes known as the “master classes.”

Breath is the aspect of individuality, drive, optimism, and most importantly freedom.

As the Muse of Breath Caldwell inspires others to be themselves and be free, motivating creativity and driving others to pursue their dreams. Caldwells unbound optimism and resolve is a force to be reckoned with, in fact he so embodies freedom and enthusiastic ambition that he left Drawfee to pursue his own creative endeavors on the west coast.

Caldwell commands not only the forces of Skaia, but Skaia itself; his inspiring aura would be strong enough to end the war between Prospit and Derse in an instant, and even those that opposed him would find it hard to stay committed to their cause for long.

Caldwell would have the power to: a. control the wind, weather, and possibly even lightning by freeing the electrons from their atoms (though that might be an active ability) b. bypass any restraints, physical or otherwise, by any means necessary which c. Also means that he can most likely teleport at will and d. Probably turn incorporeal.

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Nathan, Prospitian Sylph of Hope:

A Sylph is a person who passively invites the healing and generation with their aspect.

Hope is the aspect of possibility, inspiration, and positivity.

As the Sylph of Hope Nathan is the light that helps others with his positivity and inspiration, not only does he help people but he inspires them to create their own hope. A Sylph of Hope would be able to see the potential for positivity in everything, and seek to be as amiable as possible, in turn helping others do the same.

Drawfee is as much a show about success as it is failure, it’s something that people can watch and say “These people make mistakes just like me” and they inspire hope for those down on their art.

One of the longest held of these humanizing aspects of the show is the apology at the end of every episode, which only became a thing after Nathan disliked a drawing so much that he was compelled to apologize, and it stuck. As much as that drawing might have sucked it inspired others who weren’t happy with their art to keep at it, and we are reminded of that after every episode.

Nathan is one of the first members of the crew to assure somebody that even if the piece didn’t come out the way they wanted, that it still looks good and is impressive nonetheless.

Nathan is the glue that holds this session together; with the presence of a prince, a bard, and a lord this session should have been doomed since the start, but Nathan’s pure awe inspiring hope promoted the best in everybody.

Nathan’s powers would include: a. A buff akin to bardic inspiration that could affect people to fight harder b. Healing abilities c. Probably an energy beam d. Manifestations of other’s hopes and dreams in the form of glowy specters like a JoJo stand.

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Julia, Dersite Lord of Void:

A Lord is the embodiment and commander of their aspect, not through inspiration but rather assimilation and domination.

Void is the aspect of confusion, secrets, and doubt.

As the Lord of Void Julia is the sovereign of secrets; unpredictable, unknowable, and the proprietor of unknown knowledge Julia uses her runes and studied knowledge to summon hideous abominations creatures from the void.

Void players have an inextricable link to the furthest ring; the furthest ring is the incomprehensible and unnavigable space that exists outside of the universe. The furthest ring acts as an impassable border between universes inhabited by massive eldritch gods called the “Horrorterrors.”

Julia would not only have the ability to traverse the furthest ring and visit other universes, but she would also have the ability to bend the horrorterrors to her will. She would be able to switch in and out of grimdark mode at will, and most likely would not be adversely effected.

Julias powers would most likely include: a. The creation and manipulation of black holes and the general desperation of physical matter b. The ability to turn invisible and probably teleport c. The ability to erase peoples memories and mute their senses, and d. The ability to speak, read, and write the language of the horrorterrors.

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Jacob, Prospitian Prince of Rage:

A Prince is a destroyer of and with their aspect.

Rage is the aspect of fate, defiance, and rejection.

As the Prince of Rage Jacob is the destroyer of and through failure, negativity, and rejection. Jacob forged his own path, he destroyed his fate as a writer and destroyed the limits and expectations for what an artist could be, and he got a job at college humor despite the odds.

Jacob is also, or was, a punk; a subculture that is predicated on the destruction of barriers through rebellion.

Even though he can use Rage for good he often doesn’t; he is well known for stirring discourse, his particular brand of Rage elicits anger and hatred thanks to his flaming hot takes.

He is also known for his infinite petty anger at dumb things ex. “see animals shouldn’t live under ground,” “lizards shouldn’t have to lick their eyes,” “muppet is short for man-puppet,” “mayo is food lube,” and “if god’s ever been mad at anything I’ve said, he hasn’t done shit about it.”

Jacob’s abilities would be: a. Becoming physically stronger the angrier he gets, or somebody gets at him b. The ability to create and control lightning c. The ability to pacify or remove the anger from somebody d. The ability to make people fear him or e. turn against their own allies.

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Karina, Dersite Knight of Heart:

A Knight is a person who precisely uses and exploits their aspect as a weapon or a tool.

Heart is the aspect of emotion, passion, and identity.

As a Knight of Heart Karina uses feelings as a weapon. Not only does Karina use her powers to literally use the emotions of her characters (see Schmidt and Nando) as a tool to effect others, but she also has deep passions like Neopets, Digimon, and Yugioh that she uses as a weapon to torment the Drawfee crew.

Karina is passionate about her identity, never missing a chance to mention any of her favorite things like Beelzemon, Seto Kaiba, catboys, or her Texan roots (Bucky’s).

Karina would have honed impulses, knowing when and where to act and how to do (or draw) something challenging. She also has the ability to hype up her friends, strengthening their resolve.

Karina’s abilities would be: a. She can create a powerful glowing weapon by materializing her soul b. She could find out the weaknesses, emotions, and insecurities of enemies c. She could split into multiple versions of herself to create a veritable army of clones, and d. Enter a soul form where she is basically impervious to most attacks.

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David, Dersite Maid of Time:

A Maid is a person who heals and regenerates their aspect or with their aspect.

Time is the aspect of machines, music, and endings.

As a Maid of Time David heals time; more often then not time is not an abstract thing, and the responsibility of time players is to keep the timelines in order and fix paradoxes.

David, as the chief editor for Drawfee is responsible for taking whatever dumb shit the crew gives them and edit it to make the video palatable.

David is also interested in theater (see “Artists Draw Posters for Musicals (They've Never Seen)” one of the only episodes in which they appear) which is related to time through music.

An interesting thing to note about Time is that it is often equated with heat, fire, and lava, something David has experience with, revealed in the episode “Drawing What We're Thankful For In 2019” in which Nathan depicts David with an overheating external drive (something that is also mechanical).

David could: a. Essentially freeze time, making moments last for hours b. Heal paradoxes in the time line c. Fix events so they go favorably, or d. Speed up time to heal a wound

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Tristan, Prospitian Mage of Light:

A Mage is a person who understands their aspect by experiencing it.

Light is the aspect of fortune, luck, relevance, and knowledge.

As a Mage of Light Tristan has an innate and personal understanding of lore; Tristan, through his interactions with pop culture, knows a lot about said things.

Mages often experience their aspect in a negative way, seen in the frequent possession of Tristan by the Lore Librarian, and his burden of knowledge about absurd and obscure facts about nerd media.

Tristan is one of the only people on the crew who understands how the game works and what the final boss’s deal is, but you know he’s going to be cryptic and vague about it because it’s funny. Tristan would have the uncanny ability to know what something is without having seen it before.

Tristans abilities are: a. Foresight, he can tell exactly when and where something will happen and manipulate them in his favor b. He can give people luck or take it away c. He can manipulate light and probably use it as a projectile, and d. Know exactly what has to be done at any moment.

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Willie, Dersite Bard of Blood:

A Bard is a person who invites the destruction of or with their aspect

Blood is the aspect of bonds, stability, and unity.

As the Bard of Blood Willie actuates the severing of bonds and the dissolving of stability.

Willie is a change maker, he breaks down the stable and familiar structure of the established group dynamics in Drawfee often in an antagonistic way; Willie is well known for his hatred for Jacob, and his very presence elicits the rage in both of them.

Videos in which Willie appears are marked by hostility, but through him new and interesting things get made.

Being a bard isn’t all bad, Bards of blood are not one sided; A bard of blood has the ability to destroy using the bonds they have, uniting a group of people under a cause to destroy something, like rallying the crew against Jacob.

Willie, like a lot of the crew, has a lot of buffing abilities; utilizing his bonds he can make others more powerful and fight harder than they could otherwise.

Willie’s abilities are: a. Control of literal blood b. Group sync, he acts as a conduit through which the coordination and damage output increases, and c. Dismantle, he can break the bonds of atoms and make physical matter crumble away.

[the-lightning-strikes-again]

I was wondering what's your thoughts on the latest Loki episode?

Hi, anon! I’ll place my response under a cut because there's spoilers, and also because I have a lot of thoughts/questions about Loki (2021) as a show:

Tbh, I’m struggling with this show’s pacing, in general? Like, the plot has moved SO FAST, right from episode 1.

And I know that it takes a lot of finesse to handle pacing well—I won’t pretend I’m any better in my own works. Because if you go too slow, then you risk losing people’s attention. But it just feels like the overarching plot with the Time Keepers and Loki working for them, and then turning against them, could have stretched across 10 episodes or more, easily. And in doing so, it could have created stronger foundations for how Something’s Not Right with the TVA but yet it’s managed to exist for SO LONG?? etc.

Like, in the course of a single episode, we finally saw the Time Keepers, heard them speak, and then also discovered they weren’t real because oops, The Real Time Keeper didn’t have a Vision-Level Budget for their robotics despite being able to use Infinity Stones for paperweights and having a robotics wet-dream for a realm.

Questionable world-building details aside, I feel like—plot-wise—I just moved through The Matrix, The Truman Show, and The Wizard of Oz, combined, in 40 minutes?

There's just so much going on at one time, and so many characters are coming to really important, mind-boggling self-revelations so very quickly and with so little warning/impetus for those revelations. Sometimes, those revelations just don’t feel earned as a result.

***

In terms of world-building, I think I got confused. I’m not entirely sure why it was Mobius who went on a massive spiel about Loki’s powerful connection to Slyvie as being narcissism? Like, idk what I think of it yet personally tbh, but Mobius is the same exact man who in episode 2 made it a point to show Loki that He Is Actually Not Himself in other universes? He was literally like “no two variants are alike” and then ran through a montage of drastically different Lokis? One of which was this huge yellow ogre that even Loki did a double-take at?

So like…is the show trying to argue that Variants are in fact the same person at the core despite cosmetic differences, or is the Loki/Sylvie relationship trying to argue that Variants in fact are their own wholly unique person who actually can’t be compared against a multiverse counterpart? Is this a self-love sort of a thing, or is it a critique on a prejudice/damaging stereotype that the TVA has regarding Variants and the larger multiverse itself?

Clearly, the TVA understands that even slight changes to circumstances can massively alter the life path, personality, memories, and appearance of an individual along with their environment. So like…idk if I want to get into the semantics of narcissism, but something just seems a bit off here. I feel like Sylvie has more in common with, like, the also-green-and-gold Rogue from X-Men than she does her own Loki counterpart, so like…idk.

There’s still two episodes left, so I’d like to watch it all the way through to see how it’s handling these questions. It’s building toward a message of some kind for Loki and Slyvie? I’m just not really sure…which message yet?

***

I actually liked Mobius?? So, um, I really want him to come back?? Please???

***

I think my last thought still ties into the pacing, but it just seems odd that it took from 2009 to 2017 and multiple apocalypses/near-death events within that space for Loki to even accept a hug from his adopted brother he’s known for millennia…but in the course of like a day and a half, he’s become incredibly touchy feely and open with Sylvie and ready to pour his heart out. Like, I get that this show is all about getting Loki to reflect on his damaging flaws and insecurities so that he can grow from that for once....But idk, regardless of the relationship they’re going for with Sylvie, it just seems a bit OOC for him be this aware and comfortable acting on that so quickly. I would expect Loki to be a bit more hesitant about revealing his deep emotions in this very small span of time. He can hardly even admit them to himself most days because he’s typically viewed intimacy as a threat and usually has some kind of self-hatred going on.

Maybe if we had those 10 episodes or more, these character developments (that it’s okay to make genuine connections for the sake of connection, and the peeling away of Loki’s layers of defense) would feel more natural??

***

Anyway! These are just my initial thoughts, lol. I’m trying to reserve judgments about certain things because we have only part of the story at this point—I don’t know what all they might button up or how they’ll do it yet. I actually want this show to succeed because Loki is a really fascinating character. I’m just strapping in for the ride at this point because idk quite where we’re going LOL.

[elmidol]

Error: Program Not Found - One

Summary:  You are in charge of programming the droids that work most closely with both General Hux and Kylo Ren. Unbeknownst to you, each of these two men have it in their heads that your relationship extends beyond the workplace. This causes things to escalate quickly when your two apparently secret boyfriends compare notes on their respective partner who is far too similar for their liking.

Read on AO3

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” -Lao Tzu

One: Reboot

Of all responsibilities that you had experienced firsthand when it came to working with the entity that called itself the First Order, you found that the most taxing entailed interactions with senators. These self-entitled politicians presented a visible change in demeanor for one man in particular; the man charged with the task of completing a project known as Starkiller. The less pleasant atmosphere that developed did not lessen the intrigue you felt to work alongside the ginger-haired general. The woman you had worked with prior to accepting this position with the First Order had made your life miserable. She had learned each and every one of your insecurities while in the guise of a trusted companion then tore you down as best she could. Generally you did not think of her anymore, however there were occasions when this changed.

 You were in charge of the maintenance of the protocol droids that General Armitage Hux used when he confronted Centrist senators of planets not well versed in basic. The droid currently present was one that you yourself had designed and named when working with the aforementioned woman. TeeArr, as you fondly called him, was offering facts that General Hux clearly believed unimportant and unnecessary, thus slowing the progress of the meeting. The man’s attention to appearances was what had him restraining himself from shouting at TeeArr to silence itself. If looks could kill, though, your droid would be long dead.

 “Assassination attempts on individuals of your stature are not unheard of. It is unlikely that we will encounter such obstacles with this senator. Although we cannot rule out the potential that we will be double-crossed.”

 A part of you wondered if this line of thought stemmed from that history between you and the other woman. TeeArr was protective of you, more than most protocol droids were. It was one of the reasons that you had grown more attached to him. Others might have laughed that you considered a droid to be your dear friend, but you would tell them to shove things where the sun didn’t shine.

 Prior to the unsolicited comments from the droid, the room that the three of you occupied had been filled with silence. There was a podium at the front along with a holoprojector that could be used to display a variety of pertinent data. You were seated in one of the chairs that likely held the daily function of holding the students that were enrolled in the academy as they listened to lectures. General Hux sat mere feet away, and TeeArr hovered almost directly atop him. You were somewhat surprised that the redhead had lasted this long without fully scowling. He had glared vibroblades at the droid, yes, but no expression had utilized his entire face. Until now. That expression of disdain and annoyance presented itself at long last.

 “It would be unwise to voice these suggestions where they can easily be overheard.” His eyes slid away from the droid over to you. A nonverbal tell that his patience was running thin. While you did find the situation mildly amusing, you were a professional. You kept a straight face and gave a nod to indicate acknowledgment of the order he was giving you.

 The protocol droid was rather oblivious to the man’s ire, although TeeArr did verbally acknowledge that yes, it would be unfortunate to be overheard. After clearing your throat, you suggested that the droid, being so concerned, move closer to the door and see if it was able to hear if anyone was coming. While TeeArr completed this task, you mentally calculated just how many times the man you worked for would impatiently tap his foot. You were grateful that this particular protocol droid never complained when assigned menial tasks. The same could not be said for other droids you had programmed. Another model, for instance, had met its end via a bolt from Hux’s blaster, which had decimated the droid’s head.

 TeeArr returned with the information that there were no signs of approach from the other side of the door. In truth, you had expected no different. Your attention slipped back to the General, whom you watched as he stared at the floor like he was determined to change the ugly carpeting inside the room. You recognized it as a pattern that had been installed in part of the base you had first worked on after joining the First Order; the carpet had been due to an inventory error that was caused by a disgruntled former employee. It had taken weeks to install and another three weeks to have it successfully removed. The room was now referred to as Kylo Ren’s tantrum room by a select few, yourself included. General Hux was frequently reminded of all the equipment that had been damaged by the Knight’s saber because of the error. It was no wonder he was in a sour mood.

 The comfortable silence that had befallen the room persisted until a young assistant entered the room. She bowed by way of greeting whilst saying, “General Hux, the senator has finished preparations for the meeting and will see you now.”

 “Very good.” His tone betrayed the words. It was not ‘very good’ that it had taken this long for preparations to be completed seeing as how this meeting had been the senator’s idea. The unprofessional manner in which the senator was conducting himself was nothing that the redhead hadn’t experienced.

 You inwardly chuckled upon noticing that he had a slight limp, likely from his foot falling asleep. When General Hux started to look over his shoulder to check whether or not you were following him, you lifted your gaze to not upset him with your observations. To him, looks were everything.

 The assistant wore flats, which ensured little sound was made with each of her steps. You were impressed by this, and you had a vague impression that General Hux was taking silent notes. Less noise meant less distractions in the workplace. It would not be the first time someone suggested that female officers would not be allowed to wear heels. You varied between flats and heels; it was dependent upon your mood and what tasks would be yours for the day. There were also occasions when it was easier due to after work events.

  It took roughly three minutes for your small entourage to reach the room. The assistant opened the door, stepping aside for your superior to enter. You pressed two fingers against the bridge of your nose as the TR droid rudely stepped in front of you to file in after the man. This was, thankfully, the droid’s trial run for working in this environment; the meeting would largely consist of individuals who could speak Basic. It was a test in behavior. So far the droid was failing. You were not going to point that out yet. It was difficult to predict how droids would react seeing that they had no facial expressions.

 You thanked the assistant by way of a quick nod as you walked past her into the room. She returned the gesture. The door closed behind you without the woman joining you.

 You, General Hux, and the droid stood on one side of a long table that was in the center of the room. The other party was directly across from you. The senator was quite like how you imagined. Richly dressed to the point of gaudiness. You held in your opinions. After all, you were a professional and knew that anything you said would reflect on the entire First Order. The senator and his group viewed you as nothing more than an underling. Some hound to be kept muzzled. You would entertain this view with the knowledge that in reality you were one of the top droid programmers from your home system.

 “We are appreciative of your presence here,” an older gray-haired man said. His attire marked him as one of the senator’s advisors.

 General Hux stood more straighter still, something you had not realized was possible; the man was so rigid. “I am hard pressed for time considering the projects that I currently am charged with overseeing. Due to the delay, I have to admit that I find myself doubting the sincerity of your words.”

 You would have felt sorry for the blushing senator if it hadn’t been that exact individual who had arranged this meeting. As for the underlings of the politician, you did empathize.

 “Please, have a seat,” the senator said. It was notable that he dismissed General Hux’s valid complaints without acknowledging them at all. By way of response, the redhead crossed his arms as he scowled and continued to stand. You were not certain if you should stand or sit. Feet hurting from the heels you were wearing, you silently cursed the pain of several forming blisters and decided to stand in solidarity with your superior. You were hopeful that with General Hux having seen the practicality of the assistant wearing flats for this occasion, that maybe the redhead would not push for you to follow the current First Order dress code for meetings which did involve heels for non-officers. After all, it was only because of his insistence and love for appearances that you were wearing the shoes that you were.

 “I require more information on these projects that you speak of. I am providing funding for the Order.” The senator drummed his fingers on the flat surface in front of him while TeeArr translated his subsequent words regarding that this had been stipulations agreed upon at the start of their contract.

 You observed your superior in your peripheral. The protocol droid remained silent, and this was something that caused you to feel an enormous amount of relief. General Hux’s lips were a thin line as he stared at the party across the table. He understood the impact silence could have on people. The senator swallowed thickly. Beads of sweat began to gather on his brow. The red-haired man was in contrast perfectly calm. On the exterior, that is. This was a topic of annoyance for him. Senators were far too nosey, which was frustrating. They provided the funding yet they also had loose lips when it came to information that could be sold or further their political career.

 “The plans have not changed,” General Hux said simply. Irritation flashed in the senator’s gaze, a deeper blush forming on his cheeks. He sputtered, spittle hitting the table. You were thankful that it did not reach you, something that would have been more than a little disgusting. “Our agreement was that you would be given limited information for the sake of privacy and reducing the risks of security breaches.”

 “Regardless, we need to know where the credits are going,” the senator said, slowly raising his eyes to appraise the General’s well-groomed hair before considering your attire as well. “It could be that you funnel the credits for your own personal expenses.” It was a good thing, you reasoned, that you had previously set down your datapad, as you would have dropped it. This senator was far more bold than the ill-mannered protocol droid with which General Hux had been contending

 It was through clenched teeth that your superior responded. “I can assure you, senator,”--he spoke the title as though it were a swear-- “that I do not allow my personal interests to interfere with my work.” You wondered just how many times and in how many ways he had imagined himself murdering the man.

 “If I may,” you said quietly, prepared to be silenced by either your superior or the senator. Neither broke out of the staring contest into which they had entered, and yet you could tell that you had their attention all the same. “Our reasons for requiring more funding is that we are dedicated to completing a project that will assist us in our ultimate goal. Right now it is one of our main priorities.”

 “And what is this ‘main priority’?” the senator asked with a sneer. You knew that this expression came as a result of his having broken eye contact first in order to properly address you.

 General Hux glared, his eyes landing on each person sitting or standing in the room. “It would be unwise to allow this information to leave this room. We are currently working on an army of assassination droids.” The man raised one of his gloved hands, making a gesture in the air towards the protocol droid that was standing beside him. You had a good sabacc face, which is what kept you from reacting. As for the droid…

 “Well, this is an honor, to be allowed to present the fine details of such a highly important project. Alas, sir, I regret to inform you that I have not been granted access to any such files on the matter.” TeeArr took another moment to notice that General Hux was essentially pointing at him for another reason. “Sir! I am a protocol droid, well-versed in--”

 “That, of course, is the cover,” the redhead said, cutting off both the droid and the response that the senator had started. Trying again, the senator properly voiced his skepticism and the doubt he held regarding the protocol droid as an assassin.

 You nodded when General Hux looked to you to continue. “Beginning with this new line, we will be able to place the droids where they will eventually be hired by the target or someone close to the target. The TR line is short for TR8-0R. Since the droids will be viewed as traitors, and thus those who arranged the hit will never be revealed, this was the agreed upon name. It’s been rather exhausting, ensuring that both the assassination and protocol programs are correctly coded into the droids’ memories.”

 You did not miss the way the senator’s eyebrows started to rise. He was nodding with approval. His lips were pursed forward, and you wondered if he was thinking of political rivals he would love to see assassinated. Would this be a new project that would now be official for the First Order? Or would General Hux be able to make up an excuse for the project failing? Should that occur, the senator would possibly demand a return of finances. Unless he died…

 TeeArr had switched its optics to watch you. The droid was loyal to you, for which you were grateful. He never said a word to undermine your authority or unveil this lie. This served you well since the senator expressed increased interest in the line of fake droids. He was curious to see them in action, which had you silently speculating that he was imagining assassinating numerous rivals with the droids. This was not unlike some of the officers in the First Order. Politics was a deadly business, and the militaristic life of the First Order bred a similar mortality rate.

 Likely sensing that the tense atmosphere in the room was not going to dissolve despite the ability to share ideas without either side firing shots, the senator conferred with his advisors and proposed an end to the meeting. He did press to be kept updated in regards to this new project that he would be financing. You nearly snorted. It was funny, you thought, that in the end he was forking over more credits when he had been the one to propose this meeting to see where his credits were going. Some people were reckless. A pity for those on his planet that had to suffer in order to line his pockets.

 “I look forward to our next meeting,” the senator said with a nod of dismissal.

 By some miracle, TeeArr held its vocoder long enough for the three of you to leave the room before uttering. “That went rather well. You have been properly paid for the service of your time, General. Perhaps being inconvenienced should not be frowned upon if the perpetrator is willing to listen to reason. Although I do suggest a different cover story. Me as an assassination droid. Can you imagine?”

 Being that you took pleasure in designing and improving upon droids, you could do just that. General Hux, on the other hand, was not interested in that sort of mental gymnastistics.

 There was a certain art in the language of silence. One had to understand mood above all else. Facial expressions, the way the body talked. For instance, the scowl that remained present on General Hux’s face informed you that he was still frustrated with having been pulled away from his work on Starkiller to play nice with the senator. The redhead clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes each time TeeArr moved so much as a millimeter out of line. This practically screamed out the man’s annoyance of the droid. Under these circumstances, you could not say that you blamed him. This behavior from TeeArr was not a glitch sadly. You had sought to create a more free-thinking protocol droid in the hopes that it could offer valuable input when the situation demanded it. The sass was not something you had realized would enter into the equation on this level.

 The assistant that had led the three of you to the room in which the meeting had taken place was now walking beside you as a sort of guide, albeit an unnecessary one, back to your transport shuttle. Your eyes dropped down towards the floor. You truly did envy her those flats. You had been aware that there would be excess walking today, and thus when General Hux had insisted that you follow proper uniform protocol, you had felt your mood souring. You were already able to feel where there were blisters forming. It was a topic that irritated you. Women having two separate uniforms depending upon the occasion. Granted, the men did as well. Their shoes were always either flats or boots. They never had to endure heels. Lucky sonsofbanthas.

 Of the triumvirate, you favored Captain Phasma at times since you had less direct contact with her. Your meetings were always brief, long enough that she could tell you exactly what her ‘troopers needed, and then you were left to your own devices.

 General Hux preferred that you be present during any trial run with newer droids. This was reasonable, you conceded; however, if it meant heels and blisters, you’d rather the man take a flying leap into the nearest trash compactor. Well, not really. He was a good boss overall.

  As for Kylo Ren, that man was far more volatile. He had not once harmed you. The same, unfortunately, could not be said for some of your droid projects. The man was sometimes patient enough to allow you to finish before using them. Other times he either forgot that you had not yet installed the shields that would prevent his lightsaber from completely destroying them, or else he was too angered to care. Another thing was that the man never once apologized when he did destroy the droids. His actions did change. He became almost hesitant around you, which always allowed you to know that, on some level, he did feel guilty.

 That never stopped you from wanting to take his lightsaber and use the hilt against the side of his head. Not that you could . But you wanted to.

 You puffed up your cheeks, blew out a steady stream of air without making much noise, and lifted your gaze so that you were watching where you were going. The docking bay was just up ahead. General Hux appeared to lengthen his strides, likely wanting to quicken your departure so that he would not have to keep face and play nice with TeeArr. Said droid pleasantly made remarks on the layout of the place. It was superior to other locations where the rooms for meetings were too close to the shuttles, which caused difficulty when one was trying to listen and also a higher percentage of permanent damage to hearing. You bobbed your head as you absently listened to the droid. In your mind, you had begun to go over what adjustments would be needed to increase the droid’s probabilities of survival. Had this mission included Kylo Ren, TeeArr would have likely been destroyed.

 The senator’s assistant bid farewell when the four of you arrived at the ramp of the shuttle. General Hux gave a curt response without turning around. You would have thought him rude, save for the fact that you, having worked closely with him off and on, knew that he likely was dealing with a forming headache. You kept your response to the assistant brief, however you were more polite than your superior. She smiled, gave a wave, and then started to walk away. TeeArr had since followed in after the redhead. You quickly hurried up the ramp, which began to rise behind you.