#somebody has to be the first you know

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Caliborn, ending his tirade: AND THAT IS HOW I. CALIBORN. HAVE COMPLETELY DISPROVEN THE CONCEPT OF PHILOSOPHY.

Rose: Fascinating. If you say that to the philosophy professor, she may give you a PhD in philosophy on the spot.

Caliborn: HOW CAN I GET A PHD. IN SOMETHING THAT DOES NOT EXIST.

Rose: You tell me. You seem to be doing a very good job at it.

[malinaa]

if i think about the hunger games in peeta's perspective i WILL start sobbing

[yuwuta]

gojo would kill your work husband. but if he were the work husband, that's a different story

REAL!! he’s such a hypocrite because if someone mentioned you had a work husband, his entire world would stop and he wold devise the absolute worst plans to make sure that your co-worker, everyone at your job, and everyone in the next building over knew that he was happily committed to you 

but if he is the work husband, he’s very........ dutiful in his role. there’s a loose office/lawyer au in my head where satoru is your secretary, and for all intents and purposes, your personal assistant, and he’s good at his job, but mostly because he considers his job to be pleasing you. he has coffee for you when you arrive, he moves your schedule around without you asking, he has answers to questions before you can even ask them, he has fresh flowers on your desk weekly, pokes into your meetings to pretend to hand you a file that’s really just maybe a single document in a manilla folder with candy on top of it—he’s made himself your business, your partner; he’s made himself irreplaceable, and he loves to remind everybody of that fact. 

he’s also extremely loyal. sure, he could day a week’s worth of work done in about a day, but that doesn’t mean he’ll just use his talents for anybody. he’s your secretary, so he’s at your beck and call, and everyone knows it. they know he’s the best, but also that he’s off limits—not because you won’t share him, but because satoru won’t let himself be shared. 

he also extends his duties beyond work, of course. when he hands you a print out of your schedule for the day and you’re confused by the three-hour block of time you have in the middle of the day, satoru just helps you shrug your coat of your shoulders and smiles, “that’s for the lunch date you have with me, of course!” hanging up your coat in your closet for you, “i’m paying, see you soon, sweets.” and because you’re great at your job, and satoru helps you be great, nobody really questions when the two of you have time for a 13-course tasting menu at 1pm on a tuesday afternoon. and if they did, all satoru would say that you two had a lovely date 

[mell0bee]

“average spirit medium gets accused of murder 3 times a year” factoid actually just statistical error. maya fey, who lives in capcom’s stock plot contrivance box & is accused 10,000 times a day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.

[casurlaub]

Wolfstar AU - Werewolf rights activist Sirius Black meets Remus 'I don't want your help, I just want some quiet' Lupin.

[cuntvonkrolock]

if you mock children's theatre i hate you 🫶

[ssaalexblake]

it’s also baffling to me that tumblr, home of the ‘why are white men Still being cast as the doctor’ for So many years now (For you know, like over a decade.) is somehow not appalled that they hired a white dude to be the next Doctor because look okay it’s okay if it’s This white man. 

I mean, I do not consent to acknowledge that they’ve shoved him in there under any circumstance, but my Only need for the casting of the next person was that it was Not a white man, otherwise i didn’t care who it was, so when they “announced” Gatwa I was satisfied (i am hesitant to say they announced it bc it was more like a tiny footnote than an announcement, oh the disrespect) and it took a whole seven days (it was literally seven days. Yes i counted. it was easy since it was only seven days) it was ‘actually sorry no it’s this white dude we’ve already had before did we forget to mention that???’ and it’s steadily gotten worse and worse. 

That This site of all places is not up in arms about both the situation and how it specifically played out is depressing, but also massively and darkly hilarious.  

Especially since i Also remember nobody on this site thought casting Whittaker was good enough but literally going backward to a previous white man is?? This is not even a metaphor about diversity getting worse, they literally looked backwards. 

But, yeah,  tenn/ant with the ‘what the future looks like’ headline is uh... Good???? Not super worrying and ominous? 

I feel like i’ve been dumped in some weird parallel universe by reactions to all of this on here like??? the whole way this was done was appalling, the situation is appalling, but i guess the bbc/disney should get a rousing round of applause for accurately judging that nobody would care about their poor actions if the specific white guy they cast was popular enough that next to nobody would care. 

( and to the ‘it’s an anniversary ep’ thing, they legit could have just set a couple of eps in the past. i don’t mean they travel to the past. i mean just say ‘hey this ep is set during s4!’ and nobody would care. this show does weirder stuff than this every second episode. and it would still be bad, but how they did it is so much Worse.)

[uncanny-tranny]

When I find it hard to do certain things, I like to pretend I am a neanderthal living in a cave with my clan, and I must do The Thing in order to survive.

So, when I'm doing cardio at the gym, I'm actually chasing and tracking a mammoth, and when I need to cook, well, I'm not cooking on a stove top, I am hurdled over the first fire and watching the fat of our kill drip down onto the burning wood. And when I find it hard to crochet, I pretend that the first winter storm is coming and our clan needs me to make blankets to hurdle under and that I must contribute.

I hope whatever you do to do The Things will help. It is a uniquely personable trait to motivate yourself through pretend and stories. That's what makes this life interesting - that's what makes you feel larger than yourself 💛

[alexjcrowley]

I am all against the "social" social media (that's why I almost esclusively used tumblr) but I think TikTok should have existed in 2009 to make very shirt aesthetic edit of Jenson Button at Brawn being sad during the entire second half of the season + montage of various people Luca di Montezemolo saying he's not world champion material/he doesn't have that one extra bit with the audio "There's really no way of winning/ If in their eyes you'll always be a dumb blonde"

[sengoku-nadeko]

[brucie-baby]

Sentient Wayne Manor au in my head i love you

[beanghostprincess]

My current favourite crackship that I just created myself is Hiyori×Alive!Kuina. Just because if she can't get Zoro she'll just go for his cousin instead.

You're a genius. Your brain is huge. Please, let me kiss your brain. This is just amazing. I love lesbians. You're SO real-

Hiyori is easily one of my favorite characters and I love her SO much and people won't stop reducing her to her ship with Zoro. I think she doesn't need anybody and if she did want somebody it should be a girl. Because I say so. And Kuina is just,,, She would've been such a great character. Can't stop thinking about this fanart I found because it has changed my life for the better. She's in Wano to train to become the world's greatest swordsman and I'm just thinking about what if Kuina had been there to help them out too and she had been the one to save Hiyori all those times instead of Zoro.... Thinking thoughts. Like, of course, Hiyori and Zoro also have their moments because I do actually like their dynamic and I think she admires him a lot!! But you know. Kuina saves Hiyori a couple of times (when Zoro was going to do it, actually, she just appears like a second before him and ruins his moment) and Hiyori just melts. Because who wouldn't? Kuina would be so tall and strong and a sizeable woman, and I would personally die if she helped me save my country. Besides, I think they'd understand each other because both are women that have been reduced to that role specifically instead of their ambitions and their power and they're so much more. Hiyori was helpless when she had to see her country turn into this mess and she couldn't so anything else but to pretend,, Like-- If somebody knows how being a woman in the world works is Hiyori, and Kuina would understand. She'd admire Kuina so much for her abilities and her personality and ambitions!!!!!! And Kuina would absolutely love Hiyori's kindness and strength for being able to put up with so much!!!

Not to mention that Kuina would be taller than her,,, And bigger,,, And Hiyori would have to look up,, And this is now just the aesthetic part but God they'd look so different. That's Hiyori's guard dog. Wouldn't it be funny if Kuina were all serious and teasing with Zoro and like "*raises eyebrow* seriously?" type of masc girl, and the second Hiyori is around she turns into the happiest person in the world and extremely protective of her? Zoro judges her but he can't say shit because he's literally the same with Luffy (and Kuina teases him even more because she always has the upper hand and it makes him so angry). They're both down bad. Hiyori is just so nice to her and keeps saying she trusts her to become the world's greatest swordsman but even if she doesn't, she'll always have her heart and a place to stay in Wano. And I am weak, guys, I am so weak for lesbians.

Aghhh this is SO good. Somebody make them kiss. I- This is great. Oda could just say "ah yes Kuina actually escaped her hometown on her own and faked her death and traveled to Wano" and I'd believe him wholeheartedly because I want her back. I also want Hiyori back. I miss Wano sometimes a lot.

Also, Kuina sees Zoro with Enma and she goes:

Kuina: Oh cool, you got Hiyori's sword. Good luck with that one. Zoro: Do you want it or what? I am not giving it to you. You'll have to fight for it. Kuina: Nah, when I win our fight I want to win against the king of hell. Nothing less. Zoro: Where's the 'I can't win I'm a girl' bullshit now? Kuina: Stayed with the girl. Now I am a woman and I am going to beat your ass.

And Hiyori looking at them having the biggest lesbian moment in the world kicking her feet and blushing and Momo is next to her like "hehe you have a crush-" and he doesn't get to finish what he was saying because Hiyori hits him so fucking hard he faints. Don't tease her. Poor girl. She's in love, leave her alone.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Saint Germain, shocked: You have a fake ID? With a fake name and everything?

Isaac: I don't have to explain myself-

Leonardo, sitting against a bookshelf on the floor: He used it to get a second library card so he can take out twice as many books at once.

[yuwuta]

yuuta exhibits such previously abandoned, recently adopted dog behavior. incredibly anxious all the time, even though nobody’s out to get him or leave him behind. waits for you to return home or from school or from work excitedly, just to see you when you walk through the door. follows you around senselessly, hovering in your space just for the sake of companionship. initiates affection in prodding ways—starts off next to you, then a hand on your thigh, then deems it safe to lay all the way down, then slowly pushes his head into your lap. gets up whenever you need to get up, and resumes his position as soon as you’re ready. brings you gifts as a sign that he’s thinking of you, and maybe because he likes the affection it brings out in you, maybe because he likes the gentle affirming touches of a hand in his hair or a pinch to his cheek. rests his head on your stomach or his chin on your shoulder when he’s sleepy, stays there, immobile, and will not move unless absolutely necessary. sometimes he gets surprised when he hears you calling for him, there’s a moment of disbelief as he thinks “me? really? you need me?” but it’s very quickly overshadowed by this compulsive need to show up, to please, to do anything for you, which is why he always answers when you call. he doesn’t realize that he has puppygod eyes, especially when he’s excited or confused, but he does and it’s incredible endearing. very reluctant to share your space or attention after a while, considers that to be sacred and he won’t risk being let go or lost again, so as a safety precaution, he keeps himself right by you, waits for you always. 

[californiaquail]

was hanging out with someone today and she was talking about how she would shoot the hawks and eagles if they went after her indoor/outdoor cat and i had to struggle to keep a straight face. there is an EASY fucking solution to this problem that doesn't involve killing federally protected wildlife OR your poor damn cat. who got in a fight last night and left fur all over the place.

[heyitsphoenixx]

my mother was genuinely trying to make the argument that people do not fundamentally care about each other’s stories and only care in the ways they can relate their stories to their own experiences and therefore no one should ever try to make new plot lines or share their stories bc it’s all been told before and the only point to you sharing your story is for your own therapy bc no one actually cares and humans aren’t actually pack animals but lone wolves and we keep saying we want to change the world and we could so easily overthrow people in power but bc no one actually cares about each other we don’t do it and just give up. I have never been more certain in my whole life that I am right in saying she could not be more wrong. for the love of god please just share an orange with someone