#my first time doing theatre i genuinely sucked but i loved it and kept doing it

[cuntvonkrolock]

if you mock children's theatre i hate you 🫶

[jazy3]

Free Guy Review

!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

If you haven’t seen the movie Free Guy (2021) stop reading right now! Drop what you’re doing and go get yourself a ticket! You’ll thank me later!

I loved this movie! I saw it this weekend for the second time because it’s that good! I first saw the trailer on YouTube a while back and then when theatres reopened a few weeks ago I saw the trailer again and my interest was piqued. I had high hopes for this movie based on the fun looking trailer, the premise, the cast, and the sense of fun and escapism that the movie seemed to embody and it did not disappoint. It’s always nice when you have high hopes for something and it meets or exceeds your expectations.

Free Guy is just such a fun and joyous movie. Never taking itself too seriously, packed with lots of heart, cool cameos, full of gaming and pop culture references, and it’s fueled by a unique concept that is well executed. There are just so many things I loved about this movie! It was a ton of fun to watch and the actors clearly had a blast making it. During the movie I kept trying to figure out where I knew most of the actors from but couldn’t place them. When I got home, I googled it and I instantly realized why. The roles are just so different and the actors embody their characters so completely you lose yourself in the film and get completely sucked in. I was honestly so surprised when I figured out what I knew most of the actors from because the roles that they’re known for are so different from their characters in the movie. Their appearances, established ages, and even the accents are so different that I literally did a double take, but that’s what makes the movie so good! Because the main actors obviously didn’t need the paycheque they were just there to have fun and it shows. I think if the situation had been different and the actors involved had been desperate for money or took the role for some other reason it wouldn’t have worked. The film would have come off as cheesy, forced, cringeworthy, or just plain bad. Free Guy is none of those things. The film stars Ryan Reynolds as ‘Guy’ a bank teller in a video game called Free City, Jodie Comer whose best known for playing Villanelle in Killing Eve as programmer Millie Rusk and her avatar Molotov Girl, Joe Keery whose best known for playing Steve Harrington in Stranger Things as programmer Walter ‘Keys’ McKey, and Taika Waititi whose best known for playing Viago in What We Do in the Shadows as the Head of Soonami Studios and the film’s main antagonist and villain Antwan. Rounding out the cast are Utkarsh Ambudka as programmer Mouser and Lil Rel Howery as Guy’s best friend and bank security guard Buddy. In a nutshell, Free Guy is about a bank teller named Guy who finds out he’s a non-playable background character (NPC) in an open-world Grand Theft Auto style video game called Free City. Guy becomes the hero of his own story after meeting Millie, the girl of his dreams, and winning fans all over the world by racking up points by being the good guy and helping others. After leveling up and helping Millie escape a dangerous situation in the game, Guy wins her over and she falls for him thinking that he’s another player. But when the world that Guy knows and all of the people in it are threatened, he teams up with Millie to save his friends before it’s too late. In the real world, Millie enlists the help of her former programming partner and best friend Keys in a race against time to stop their code and all of the sentient characters from Free City from being deleted by Antwan the developer who stole their code when the game’s sequel launches. I love that the movie had a unique premise and didn’t overcomplicate things. There are so many movies that I’ve gone to see over the last few years with such excitement only to be disappointed. For example, I loved Wreck It Ralph, but was so disappointed by its sequel Ralph Breaks the Internet. The trailers made it seem like it would take the premise of the first movie and move things into the online gaming world, and I was excited for that. Instead, the sequel left the premise of the first movie behind entirely and way over complicated the plot and the end result was extremely cheesy and disappointing. Free Guy’s strength is that it’s a self-aware movie made by self-aware people who are excellent at what they do. The movie doesn't take itself too seriously, nor should it, and that allows the story to flow and the characters to feel real and genuine. The movie achieves that perfect balance between being entertaining and telling a cohesive and important story because while the movie never takes itself too seriously the people behind it are serious about what they do. This was very clearly a passion project for all involved, especially Ryan Reynolds, and it shows! As he’s spoken about in interviews and on Twitter, Reynolds called on a lot of his friends to be in Free Guy and help him out and the end result was fantastic! I loved all of the cameos! The Chris Evans cameo was by far the funniest and the Alex Trebek cameo got me right in the feels. When I saw the movie in theatres me and everyone else in the theatre gave a collective “awww” when he appeared on screen. Enlisting real YouTubers to show up as fictional versions of themselves to talk about Blue Shirt Guy’s popularity was a nice touch and you’ve also got blink and you miss it voice cameos by John Krasinski, Dwyane The Rock Johnson, Hugh Jackman, and Tina Fey. Channing Tatum appears as the avatar of player Revenjamin Buttons which for the most part was hilarious. One of my few criticisms of the film is that they went a bit overboard the avatar’s antics as Guy and Buddy are attempting to leave and it got bit a cringeworthy. But I know other people found it hilarious so to each their own. I love all of the little details and references in the movie. Just listing them all would be a post in itself. If you’re someone that loves pop culture references and Easter Eggs this is the movie for you. The characters are fun and believable, and you get attached to them quickly. The actors commit completely to their roles which is makes the humour, romance, and heartfelt emotion of the film work. You buy it. 100%. Something that I absolutely loved was that the characters felt realistic and that the dialogue, attire, and settings for each character really felt authentic. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched a movie or TV show and walked away thinking, “The person who wrote that clearly never meet a kid, teenager, or twenty something in their life! That was so unrealistic.” The slang’s all wrong. The dialogue is so eloquent everyone sounds like they did Shakespeare in the Park last summer. You walk away thinking, “What the hell was that? No one talks that way!” What I loved about the characters in Free Guy is that they felt like real people you could actually run into or walk past on the street. I’ve read in interviews that in addition to the written dialogue the cast did a lot of ad-libbing and improvisation and the end result is both hilarious and relatable. The dialogue feels real because it is. The big exception to this of course is Antwan who is altogether off the wall and ridiculous. Antwan is such an outrageous, absurd, vulgar, and cartoonish character. He’s so fun to watch and the actors clearly had a lot of fun with his scenes! I’ve read that a lot of his lines with Keys and Mouser were improvised and I believe it. When he goes all Jack Nicholson on the servers? Lord. He’s such a great villain to watch. The characters that are established to be in their twenties like Millie, Keys, Mouser, and the other employees at Soonami Studios talk, act, and dress like they’re in their twenties. The actors that are in their forties are styled to look like they’re in their thirties and honestly, they’re in such great shape it works! I mean I was honestly shocked to find out Taika Waititi’s real age. I love how the costuming really fits each character and allows you to learn more about them. Keys’ clothing is your typical gamer chic which makes because as we learn from his interview with Millie coding is his life and what gets him up in the morning. From Mouser’s clothing we learn that he’s a sports fan, but also isn’t afraid to take risks like with that blazer ensemble he wears in his final scene at Millie’s apartment.

Millie’s clothing shows the contrast between her and her avatar Molotov Girl, and Antwan’s ridiculous coat enhances the overall wackiness of his character. Guy’s clothing tells us something too. He wears the same thing every day until he meets Millie in the game at which point, he starts deviated from his Free City programming and chooses a different blue shirt. I also really love that they put thought into why Keys needs to wear glasses. Something I noticed on rewatch is that Keys is far sighted which is why he has his glasses on when he’s looking at his laptop or computer and sometimes when’s talking to other people, but not when he goes to see Millie at her apartment or when he goes to get them coffee at the end of the movie. Another interesting aspect of Keys’ character that I noticed on rewatch is self-confidence is really something he struggles with in contrast to Millie and Mouser who are very confident. Millie is a genius programmer and Mouser is excellent at what he does, and they are both very confident in their coding abilities, but Keys isn’t despite being every bit the genius that Millie is. At the beginning of the movie when they first notice the issue with Guy Mouser jokes that Keys needs to be better at his job. In response Keys meekly says he thinks he’s pretty good at his job and trails off at the end. Mouser is just joking around, but because Keys lacks self-confidence comments like that hit him hard. Mouser is moving towards his own desk as he talks so he doesn’t notice how self-deprecating and uneasy Keys’ response is. In the interview from the indie games conference that Millie plays for Keys at his apartment, he brushes off the interviewers comment that he’s a genius and says Millie is the real genius because she created the AI engine and he just wrote the code to make it work. Later on, when Keys helps Millie get into the stash house, she calls him a genius and he tells her that as he’s currently sitting on a toilet stealing user code he doesn’t exactly feel like one. Millie responds offhandedly that he never does, but luckily, she knows better. When Keys realizes that Millie was right, and that Antwan did steal their code and their game worked he tells Millie they need to celebrate because once everyone sees their build she’ll be celebrated and she could win a noble prize. Both Millie and Keys are geniuses in their own right. The game wouldn’t have worked without both of their skills and Guy wouldn’t have come to life without both of them working together. Millie’s AI engine made his sentience possible, but Keys is the one who gave him hopes and dreams so that when he met Millie in the game, he came alive. When done right the settings we see tell the story just as much as the characters do and I love how realistic the settings in Free Guy look. The floor at Soonami Studios where Keys and Mouser work looks like a real office and I love that the desks have clutter and personal effects on them like real cubicles do and that they show Keys taking a box of his stuff with him as he leaves. The lobby with the moving water videos and Antwan’s massive but largely empty office fits perfectly with the obnoxious, zany, and over the top character that he is. I also love the contrast between Keys and Millie’s apartments and how those settings tell us a lot about each character and where they are in their lives when the film starts. When Keys comes home from work to find that Millie has broken in, we see that he lives in a stylish one bedroom apartment with an open concept kitchen full of stainless steel appliances, a large living room centred around an expensive wall mounted TV and entertainment system, with his computer and gaming station set up in the corner. On the walls we see artful clusters of black picture frames, through a partially open door we see a bedroom off to the side, the apartment is full of black and white furniture including a plush couch and nice lamps, and features a textured silver accent wall. All of which makes the fact that Millie managed to break in even more impressive because it is clearly an expensive apartment in a nice building. Keys’ style is minimalist and upper scale and based on what we learn about the events that took place before the start of the movie this indicates that Keys got the apartment and all of the nice stuff in it using the money he received when Antwan bought his and Millie’s game. In contrast, Millie lives in a bachelor apartment and spends her time in coffee shops ordering one single black coffee over four hours. This tells us that she kept her original apartment that she had from before the game was sold and is living off the money she got from the sale while she spends all of her time trying to find the proof she needs to win her lawsuit. When we see Millie’s place, we find that it’s cozy, full of plants, throw rugs, quilts, and comfy furniture. She’s got a bike in the corner, you can see her bed from the centre of the room where she’s got her computer and gaming station set up adjacent to the coffee table and the rest of the living room furniture. Her kitchen is smaller and full of wooden cabinets and her bathroom door has DIY multicoloured square panels on it. Keys and Millie’s apartments are very different and through these settings we see the contrast between where these characters are in their lives, their wealth, and their personal style. The song ‘Fantasy’ by Mariah Carey is featured heavily in the film and is guaranteed to get stuck in your head in the best way! Jodie Comer’s cover of it is amazing! It fits the moment where Guy makes it to the island that is Millie and Keys’ original build and shows it to the world perfectly. This movie made me appreciate Mariah Carey’s music in a whole new way and I can’t be the only way. After watching the movie, I went looking for the song on Apple Music, wound up listening to the Mariah Carey Essentials Playlist, and I’ve become obsessed. I knew some of her hits, but after listening to her music more I get why people love her so much. Her five octave vocal range is amazing, and her music is just so fun to listen to. The film has a really great soundtrack overall and I’ve had many of its song on repeat since I saw it. Something I really loved about this movie and the reveal at the end that Keys is in love with Millie and is desperate for her to notice, but she’s been oblivious the whole time is that they don’t do the supposedly nice nerdy guy whose really a jerk trope. So many movies do this where you have a nerdy male character whose unluckily love, looked over, or his love is unrequited, and we’re supposed to root for him because he’s a quote “nice guy”. But really, he’s not. He’s a jerk who feels slighted because a woman in his life doesn’t love him back or notice him and he feels as if she owes him something. The scene at Millie’s place where Millie tells Keys he looks cute when he brags, and Mouser encourages him to tell Millie how he feels is super frustrating to watch but it’s so important to Keys’ character. He asks Millie out for coffee and when she turns him down to jump back into the game, he doesn’t make a big deal about it even though Mouser wants him to. Instead he gets up and goes and gets her a coffee anyway. She goes to tell him her order, oblivious to the fact that he’s memorized it, he tells her he remembers, and goes to get the coffee anyway much to Mouser’s and the audience’s dismay. This is big because Keys clearly doesn’t want to be walking down the street by himself to get coffee. He wants to be getting coffee with Millie so that he can tell her how he feels to see if she might feel the same way, but when she turns him down he goes and gets the coffee anyway because he truly loves and cares about her and he values their friendship enough to put his own feelings aside and suffer in silence rather than lose her and what they’ve built. So, he takes the opportunity to get some air rather than continue to sit there in disappointment. Which is why he’s so confused when Millie runs after him and calls out to him from across the street. He doesn’t understand what she’s doing there. She turned down his offer to get a coffee and he already knows her order so why is she there? I love that they chose to make that scene non-verbal. I think if Millie had come out and made some big declaration of love it would have felt cheesy and overdone. But her running after him and silently communicating through her smile and body language that she understood and that she felt the same way was perfect. It was subtle and beautiful and perfectly acted. It also felt realistic to the characters because in real life when you’ve known someone a really long time and you’ve spent a lot of time with them you don’t always need words to convey what you mean. What Millie wanted to express in that scene was so big and so all-encompassing she couldn’t find the words to say everything that she wanted to say so she didn’t. She just stood there and smiled knowing that being the genius that he is he would understand. It’s like Keys says in their interview, words will fail you, but code never does. His coding worked and now she understands so rather than try and say it all and fail she just looks at him and smiles to show him that she finally gets it. She finally understands what he’s been trying to say to her all this time. And you can see the exact moment Keys realizes why she’s there. The moment where he goes from being confused as to what she wants to realizing that she saw the video and she knows how he feels and that she wouldn’t be standing there smiling at him like that if she didn’t feel the same way. When I watched the scene the first time around, I was anxiously clutching my nachos the entire time because when Keys ran towards her my immediate thought was, “Oh my god he’s gonna get hit by a car and they’re never gonna get to be together! Oh my god!” But then he didn’t get hit by a car and Millie ran out to meet him and for the first time in their relationship she met him halfway and they kissed and it was beautiful! I think because Free City had so much violence in it that’s where my mind went and I’m very glad they didn’t go that route. One of my only criticisms about the movie is that I wish they had stayed on Millie and Keys just a little bit longer. They kiss and embrace and then very quickly they cut to black. I wish they’d linger on that moment just a little bit longer because I love those characters so much and in the scene that follows where Guy and Buddy are reunited we see them hug and then walk away together to start their new lives and I wish we’d gotten just a bit more time with Millie and Keys. I also really loved the parallel between the different kinds of relationships within the movie and how platonic relationships are just as important as romantic ones. The reveal at the end about Guy being Keys’ creation and a love letter to Millie and her realizing she’s been loving Keys vicariously through Guy and them finally coming together and being on the same page is beautiful because from the very beginning the movie is full of clues, hints, and foreshadowing that all comes together at the end. Meanwhile, we see the friendship between Guy and Buddy and how important that friendship is to him because it’s something that he created on his own. His love for Millie is born out of the programming that Keys gave him, but his friendship with Buddy is something that Guy created all on his own of his own volition. Which is part of what makes Buddy’s death on the bridge so tragic. I cried when Buddy disappeared. Reynolds and Howery play their characters with such sincerity that his death pacts an emotional punch you don’t expect. I love that the security guards at Soonami are so moved by Buddy’s heroism and are so captivated by what’s happening with the live stream that Millie is able to sneak past them into the server room and stop Antwan from destroying what’s left of the game. Something else I noticed on rewatch is that during the final battle after Millie gets booted from the game and Guy has to fight Dude on his own the glasses he’s wearing are very similar to the ones Keys wears in the movie which I thought was a cool nod to Guy being Keys’ creation. This really is a movie in which you find something new every time you watch it. For instance, the second time around I noticed that the foreshadowing that Keys is in love with Millie, but she’s oblivious to it because she’s so focused on the game was really well done. In the video from the indie game conference that Millie plays for Keys at his apartment when asked by the interviewer about their chemistry Millie responds first and says that their friends, their relationship is completely platonic, and laughs off the idea that they have chemistry. In contrast Keys falters and is silent and then eventually says meekly that they’re just friends. Millie is looking ahead at the interviewer and to the side away from Keys as she’s laughing and so she doesn’t see Keys’ reaction. At the end of the apartment scene after Millie breaks in to ask Keys for his help, he tells Millie he cares about her and he almost says something else. It feels like he’s about to say, ‘I love you’ but then he catches himself and instead tells her that she needs to leave. When Keys visits Millie’s apartment to tell her that she was right and they’re sitting on the couch he reaches out and puts his hand on her knee and then snatches it back when he realizes he’s gotten too close. He wants so desperately to be closer to her and in his excitement, he gets closer than he normally would before realizing that putting his hand on her knee in that close proximity is not a platonic gesture. Millie is so caught up in the realization that Guy, the person she’s fallen in love with, is an AI and not a real person that she doesn’t notice. My heart broke for Keys in that scene as he realized that Millie had fallen for Guy and kissed him and was so upset about it and meanwhile, he was right in front of her desperate for her to see how much he cares. It must have just wrecked him to go home that night and realize that Guy was based on the lovelorn character he created and that Millie had fallen in love with his creation while at the same time being so oblivious to his real world affection for her. In the scene at Millie’s apartment after they’ve gotten the server from Antwan and Mouser encourages Keys to say something, I noticed on rewatch just how weak and meager Keys’ attempt to ask Millie out is. He stumbles his way through asking her to get a coffee and trails off at the end so it’s no wonder Millie doesn’t clue in that he’s trying to ask her out. And in Keys’ defence he sent her a whole video confessing his feelings for her and all of the little things he loves about her and then told her to watch it and he has no idea if she did or not. We the audience know that Millie only saw half of it, but Keys has no idea if she saw none of it, part of it, or all of it. He knows she got Guy to remember, but she’s also sending him mixed messages. One minute she’s saying he’s cute when he brags and the next, she’s turning him down for coffee to talk to Guy. From the outside it’s so obvious that Keys is in love with Millie, but she doesn’t see it because she’s always looking the other way, not paying attention, so caught up in the game, and too focused on their work to see what’s right in front of her. On rewatch one of the big things I noticed is that Keys is always on the edge of telling Millie how he really feels but he always stops himself because she brushes him or the idea off and because he’s scared of what will become of their work and their friendship if she doesn’t feel the same way. It’s a huge leap. If Millie doesn’t feel the same way it’s going to make their relationship incredibly awkward and could potentially destroy their partnership so Keys decides it’s better not to say anything or only hint at how he feels rather than run the risk of ruining everything. Something else I noticed on rewatch is that in the interview they give Keys says he thinks of himself as an author and that code is what gets him up in the morning and that he loves the ones and zeros of binary because words can fail you and let you down but code never does. At the end of the movie when Millie goes to talk to Guy in Free Life he tells her that he loves her and while he knows that’s his programming he’s realized that he’s a love letter to her and that somewhere out there in the real world is the author. Such a great callback. All in all, I can definitely say that Free Guy has been my favourite movie so far this year! Definitely my favourite movie of the summer. I went to see it twice in theatres and I’ve never done that for any other movie before. I’ll rewatch them at home sure, but I’ve never actually paid money to see something twice on my own. I’m very excited to see the sequel and my hope is that it will be just as good as the first.  Until next time.

[ratmonky]

Sweet Blossoms

this is a commission, my friend put a gun against my head to write this and I didn’t get to write any of my own ideas so you don’t tell me it sucked cuz i already know it did lol

Word Count: 4.8K

Warnings: unhealthy relationship, cheating, vanilla *bleh*

AO3 Link

There was no way he could know what kind of flowers you liked so he had left you all sorts of kinds.

You crouched down and took the flower bouquet in your arms, looking around to see who had left them but you couldn’t see him when he was that far into the darkness. With the prettiest smile on your lips, you inhaled the sweet fragrances of different flowers all at once. It almost made you dizzy because of how strong each flower's aroma was.

Carefully walking back inside the apartment, you started looking for the note the cheap supermarket flowers usually came with. While you were handling the flowers, the note slipped and fell onto the floor, right where your boyfriend was standing.

“This again?” he sighed, taking the note. He opened the note shamelessly, reading it out loud. “(name), as pretty as these flowers are, they are nothing compared to your beauty. I hope you’re staying healthy and safe.” He flipped the note to see if there was more to it but when he realized there wasn’t, he tore it apart. “Sounds like a creep.”

“Don’t say that.” You frowned, watching the note get destroyed. “They are harmless.”

“No sane man would leave flowers for some college girl living with her boyfriend. He’s probably still out there rubbing one off.” He leaned to the wall. “I would,” he added with a smirk.

“Stop being vulgar.”

“You say that while wearing things like that. You look for attention as if I’m not giving ya enough.” His words made you look down at your outfit. It was just a sundress.

“You’re overreacting,” your voice was fainter than a whisper.

“Don’t play the victim now. If it weren’t for me, you’d be sucking someone off for money to afford to live in a smaller apartment than this. Maybe you’d join those hookers in the kabuki district if I stopped giving you attention, huh?”

Legs shaking, you pressed the bouquet of flowers to your chest. There wasn’t anything you could or wanted to say to him. He was being mean but he was right. Maybe you had to stop dressing up like this. If it weren’t for him you wouldn’t be able to afford your major or rent. Your boyfriend was paying for the rent while you continued studying and worked to save money to pay off your student loan.

“Never forget that you wouldn’t be shit without me.”

You rapidly nodded, avoiding making him any more upset.

“Good,” he sighed and put his hands on his hips. “Now, go wipe your face, you look like a clown.”

Your hand went to your cheek to feel your makeup over your skin. It was still smooth, not cakey at all but from the way he said it, perhaps it looked worse than you thought.

“Okay.”

Walking past him, you slipped the small piece of paper in your dress’s pocket without him noticing. You put the flowers in a vase before placing them next to the old ones. This wasn’t the first time you had received flowers from your secret admirer and you hoped it wouldn’t be the last time.

Back in your room, hastily you took out the small paper and grinned when a movie ticket greeted you.

~~~

There hadn’t been a time in your life where you put this much effort into how you were going to look like to go out.

Your boyfriend often didn’t like it when you dressed up or put on makeup, he usually made comments on how you looked that made you feel bad about your appearance. Although you knew he loved you, it hurt your confidence. His words affected you in ways you couldn’t describe.

It was one of the reasons why you were conscious of your appearance right now and why you kept tugging your skirt down, worried that you might be showing too much skin. You wouldn’t put your small compact mirror down either, you kept checking on your makeup.

Everyone was looking at you. Thinking that you’re a slut.

At least that was what your mind was telling you. No, that was something your boyfriend would say.

While trying to ignore your own thoughts, you walked up to the employee behind the counter and showed them your ticket to enter the movie theatre. They told you your ticket’s arranged seat number and you saw from the computer screen that the seat beside yours was occupied.

You took a deep breath to calm your senses. The only reason you were here was because of how curious you were, nothing else. You had been getting flowers every Friday for longer than a year now and not knowing the identity of your secret admirer was eating you up.

I’m only gonna take a peek, you promised yourself and walked inside the theatre. If it turned out to be a creep like your boyfriend kept telling you about, then you could just walk away. This was a public space so there was no need to feel anxious about what could happen.

It took you a long moment to find your seat at the furthest back row and get comfortable on the soft cushions. The place wasn’t empty but it wasn’t full of people either, yet the row you had your seat on was completely free.

Each passing minute was unbearable even when you were trying to busy your mind with your phone but nevertheless failed to notice it when someone took a seat next to you.

By the time you looked up, there was a familiar face sitting next to you.

“Junpei!” you gasped, he always managed to sneak up on people since his presence went unnoticed.

He couldn’t meet your gaze, “Hi, it’s been a while huh?”

“Yeahh,” you went on to say before looking around, the trailers were about to start since the lights dimmed, your secret admirer was nowhere to be seen. “Umm, you see, I’m glad to see you here but I’m waiting for someone, this seat is taken.”

His adam’s apple moved as he gulped, there was a sweat droplet that drizzled down from his cheek to his neck.

Your eyes then landed on his lap. He was holding a single rose in his hand, the flower shook in his grasp.

“Oh.” It dawned on you. “Okay.”

Junpei held the flower out for you to take but still averted his gaze from yours. Slowly, you took the rose from him and lifted it up to your nose, inhaling the sweet aroma.

“You can leave,” he whispered, trying not to break the unwritten rule of a movie theater. “I won’t judge.”

He had noticed how disappointed you looked when you found out it was him who had been leaving you those flowers, he wasn’t the aggressive type to force you to sit down with him like this. Entrapping you and making you feel uncomfortable was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Why?” you whispered back.

“You looked disappointed.”

You snorted, “I was surprised to find out my next-door neighbor and dropout classmate was my secret admirer.”

Someone shushed.

Trying to stifle your giggling, you continued. “You could’ve just asked me out normally.”

His cheeks flushed deep red and he finally met your eyes. “You have a boyfriend.”

You got quiet, “Yeah.”

I have a boyfriend. I have a boyfriend but I came here to meet my secret admirer. Why?

Perhaps it was because you wanted to feel validated. The poems you got with the flowers, at least the ones you managed to hide were special to you. Whenever you doubted yourself, rereading the poems gave you the confidence you lacked.

The movie started.

Junpei was fidgeting with his fingers, no matter how much he tried he couldn’t focus on the movie. He had been wanting to see this one since it came out, the hype around the release of this movie and the reviews he had read made him more excited than ever, yet… Since you were here, his thoughts were full of you.

From the corner of his eye, he could see that you were staring at the silver screen but your expression was blank as if you weren’t paying any attention either.

He opened his mouth to say something but a scream coming from the female lead interrupted him. His attention involuntarily directed itself to the screen and soon, he sort of got invested in the storyline as you were having an internal debate with yourself.

There was an exciting scene that had him gripping to the sides of his seat, he was about to comment on the scene when he turned to face you but you were already looking at him, blushing.

Junpei didn’t understand the reason why you were blushing until he looked down. In the heat of the moment, he had placed his hand on top of yours on the seat’s cup holder.

A blush matching yours spread on his face and neck, he apologized before proceeding to lift his hand but you prevented him from pulling away by holding his hand.

Then, you intertwined your fingers together with his while scooting closer to the edge of your seat to close the distance between the two of you.

In that quiet moment of your hand tightly holding his own, Junpei started nodding as if he understood something and returned his attention to the screen.

He couldn’t focus on the rest of the movie, rather he focused on how warm your hand was or how sweaty his palm was.

Your head softly leaned on his tense shoulder. A wave of panic made Junpei’s eye look at you if you had died because -why else would you put your head on his shoulder? Yet, you were very much alive and you were still holding his hand tightly. He didn’t dare to move, not sure what exactly to do either.

Whether it be the most rational thing that came up to his mind or his own curiosity on how it felt, he tilted his head until his cheek pressed against your hair. Your warmth was enough to warm his heart, it gave him the comfort he had thought he would never get. The delicious smell of your shampoo invaded his nostrils almost instantly, a genuine smile spread on his face as you continued leaning on him.

“Why did you leave those flowers?”

The question was sudden.

“Because I… I have feelings for you.” His voice was quieter than a whisper out of consideration to not interrupt other people’s enjoyment of the movie.

“Why?”

“Why?” he echoed, thinking what to answer. There were too many reasons why. He couldn’t come up with just one. “Because you’re you.”

“What does that mean?” You lifted your head up to look at him.

“Well, it means that I like…” Geez, it was hard to say it out loud when you were looking. His cheeks were burning up and his eye was looking at everything but yours. “You’re beautiful and considerate. You care about others and you’re selfless. I guess I like you because you were kind to me back in high school.” The memory brought a smile to his complexion, you two were in the same film appreciation club in the past and were close friends if not best friends. “You’re not scared to be yourself. You always know what you want in life. I always wanted to be like you or rather be with you, kinda like adornment with a dash of being in love with you... I guess.”

Was he really describing you or some idea he had about you?

There was no way of knowing. You didn’t know who you were anymore. Not after you started dating your boyfriend.

If you had asked your boyfriend to describe you, what would he say?

Nevermind, you didn’t want to know.

“Hey,” Junpei called in a panicked voice, someone in the audience shushed again. “Are you alright? Did I say something wrong?”

You shook your head, tightening your hand around his while your eyes sparkled with gratitude. It made you look so kissable, your lips being parted slightly only made the thought a lot more irresistible.

Junpei’s face leaned closer to yours, he was moving hesitantly and slowly, waiting for your reaction. Instead of moving away, you were just staring at him but he felt like he was forcing you again.

Wanting you to make the decision, he stopped himself and closed his eyes, brows furrowing as his anxiety was eating him up. His heart hammered through his chest and he waited and waited and waited until something soft pressed on his lips.

He peeked with one eye to look at your face, the view made his heart skip a beat. Your eyes were closed, eyelashes fluttering as your glossy lips moved against his own. Having not much experience, he followed your lead, parting his lips and mirroring the way you moved yours, ignoring how wildly his body shook from excitement.

You tasted as sweet as you looked, your perfume filled his lungs and made his head spin. He was being conscious about a lot of things as your hand that was holding him moved to his shoulder and then to his neck to card your fingers through the short strands.

He could feel your warmth through your lips better than when he held your hand. He experimentally snaked his tongue inside your mouth to get a better glimpse of how you actually tasted.

Almost immediately, you opened your mouth to allow him entrance, letting his tongue hesitantly move along with yours. Teeth clashed once or twice but it did nothing other than making you giggle into the kiss.

His hand went to your cheek to caress it and pull your face closer until he could get a better angle to kiss you. There was something so endearing about the way he touched you, his touch was gentle, loving even. Something you hadn’t felt in a long time.

Once he pulled himself back, the small wet strands connecting your lips together thinned and broke apart.

Junpei was completely red and you knew you weren’t any different. His lips were swollen and pink, eyes full of admiration as he was looking at you. He was cherishing this moment.

The lights turned on, ruining the mood.

Both of you flinched and jumped back on your seats, unaware how you were practically on his lap before. It was kind of comedic, nobody would have cared if they saw two people being lovey-dovey in the back row of a theatre since it was something common yet both of you were acting like two young lovers who had been busted by their parents.

The awkwardness went away only after you exited the theater, holding Junpei’s hand.

“Your dress is really pretty,” he said to break the silence as you were walking down the street.

“Thanks, it has pockets,” you chirped, putting your free hand inside the small pocket to show it to him. “This is my favorite dress!”

“Cute,” he chuckled. His cheeks were still faintly blushed red but not as visible as before. Although his mind was clouded by many things and what was going to happen next, he didn’t dare to say anything that could ruin your smile. Not only because you looked gorgeous with a smile on your face but also because he knew you needed it.

“Junpei.”

“Hmm?”

“Wanna stop by somewhere?”

“Like for dinner? Sure, although I’m not hungry, I can watch you eat.”

“No,” you uttered, pointing towards somewhere.

Junpei’s eye followed where you were pointing your finger and his mouth gaped, cheeks flushing bright red instantaneously. He looked at you to see that you were blushing as well.

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna.” You were regretting making the suggestion.

“No, I wanna, definitely, yes, go.” He had to take a deep breath to calm himself before saying something that made sense. “You asked too suddenly.”

Nonetheless, you were the embarrassed one. He had to swallow down his own embarrassment to sheepishly drag you across the street and into the red light district. The hotel you had been pointing at had a large neon sign that read some nonsense like ‘secret getaway’ on it. You wondered if it was the absurdity of the sign or the situation which made you point at this specific hotel.

In front of the entrance, he hesitated walking inside.

“I can pay,” you said, mistaking the reason why he was hesitating.

“You don’t need to, I was just… thinking.” He was blushing again, how was he going to say this. He didn’t dare to say it out loud. Ugh, he had to. “I-I d-don’t have a condom with me.”

“I think they might sell some inside,” you hummed before getting on your tiptoes to whisper, “You don’t need one anyway.”

This time, his blood rushed south.

Your eyes landed on the not-so-small problem and softly giggled. “I guess I have to check us in, huh?”

“Please…” He used a hand to cover his face in embarrassment. “Don’t tease me about this.”

“I’ll try not to,” you said, pulling him inside the hotel, he quickly pulled his shirt down to cover the front of his pants. The reception was quiet, you chose a room that was the cheapest and got your room key from the receptionist.

Junpei let go of your hand to dive it in his pocket to fish out his wallet to pay for the room but you stopped him. He looked at you in question and you shook your head, retaking his hand. “We’ll pay when we’re leaving since we’re paying by the hour.”

He hadn’t realized how uninformed he was about this sort of stuff until today. He nodded slowly and let you lead him to the elevator and then to your room.

The awkward atmosphere was back as soon as you stepped inside the room. You finally let go of his hand to take off your shoes. While you placed your own neatly by the entrance hall, Junpei had just kicked off his shoes, leaving them as they were.

You walked further inside the room after fixing his shoes and placing them next to yours.

Junpei was busy checking the minibar as you sat on the bed, taking out your phone from your purse to check the time. It was close to evening time, your boyfriend would be back home soon. Shaking your head, you put your phone away and focused your stare on Junpei’s back. “Thank you.”

“For w-what?” His shoulders tensed at your words, it made you smile.

“For the flowers and the notes you left by my door.” You laid down on your back to feel how soft the sheets were. “Receiving them made me excited and feel validated.”

“I-it was nothing.” He walked over to the bed, it was too late to drink anything from the minibar, on top of that, the prices were way too expensive. “I always thought you found them stalkerish.”

The bed sank and creaked as he sat next to you.

“My boyfriend did.” Ah, right. Saying it out loud made you realize how silly the situation was. You were in a love hotel with someone who sent you flowers despite having a boyfriend.

“Yeah.” He didn’t know what to say, the mood had changed again.

Thankfully, you knew what to say.

“Have you ever jerked off to me?”

Caught off guard, Junpei squealed but then forced himself to laugh to avoid answering the question.

“Hmm?” You lifted your head from the bed to look at him, determined to get an answer to your question.

“I can’t answer that…” His voice died off lamely, maybe he shouldn’t have said anything.

“It’s just a question,” you replied, encouraging him to tell you the truth.

He mumbled.

“What?” You smirked, “I couldn’t hear you.”

“I said maybe!” He covered his face with his hands. Another involuntary blush colored his cheeks and neck. The sound of the fabric rustling as you perhaps leaned closer to him filled the room, but all he could hear was his heartbeat in his ears. It seemed like an eternity until you said something.

“How?” you asked, almost sheepishly.

His eye opened widely. Was he hearing things? “What?”

“How did you do it?” His eye met yours again, then turned down briefly to his lap before returning his attention toward you.

He was frozen. He slowly processed your words, pausing for a moment. Had you really asked him that? Did he imagine that? Junpei stayed in his position for a while. He didn't dare to move.

You put a hand on his knee, sending a shiver down his spine as your hand moved up to his thigh.

“(name),” he breathed, the anticipation of what was to come made his cock twitch in his pants.

“Junpei,” you echoed, grabbing his thigh and letting your fingers brush against the growing bulge. “Tell me, how did you?”

He was biting his lip as your hands fiddled with his pants, pulling the zipper down and humming.

It all felt like a dream, something he would have fantasized about when he had his hand wrapped around his cock late at night. Not something that would actually happen in a million years. Yet, it was happening right now at this moment.

“I imagined you touching me,” he revealed when you cupped his bulge.

“How?”

“Naked and-” You tugged at the front of his pants, he lifted his hips and pulled them down.

“And?” Your fingers hooked under the waistband of his boxers, smiling mischievously.

“Under me,” he gasped as you pulled his underwear down to free his half-hard cock.

“Under you?” Wrapping a hand around the base of his cock, you lowered your mouth towards his cock, lolling out your tongue, you let your drool drizzle down on him. Slowly, you moved your hand from the base to the tip, spreading your drool to use it as lubrication.

“Y-yeah.” His hands gripped the sheets tightly. His cock was fully hard and was throbbing in your hand. “Under me.”

Your hand pumped his cock for the first time, it made a faint click sound. “Tell me more.” Using your thumb, you gently pulled back the thin layer of skin to expose the tip of his cock that was glistening with precum. With your forefinger, you tapped on the liquid and moved your finger away to see how far it would stretch. “Or better, why don’t you demonstrate it for me?”

Something snapped inside him.

Junpei grabbed you by your hair and pulled you up before locking your lips together in less than a second. His hand continued pulling you closer to himself while his tongue slipped out to explore your mouth once again. You sucked on his tongue and stroked his cock while grabbing a chunk of his hair in your other hand. You pulled his hair and opened your mouth widely to take the lead and this time you wanted to savor his taste.

Junpei’s free hand went to your ass, groping it and squeezing it as tightly as he could to get you to moan into the kiss and when you did, he lifted your leg to take you under him. Now, he was able to press himself on you.

You turned your face away for Junpei to kiss your neck, so you could jerk him off faster. He pecked on your neck and licked the sensitive skin until he reached your collarbone to nibble on your skin. Desperate to leave a mark of possession.

“Junpei,” you chanted, wanting to warn him about not leaving a mark. “Don’t-”

His teeth sank into your skin, hard enough to draw blood and your body squirmed in pleasure under him. An intense moan left your lips and you retrieved your hand from his cock to instead push his hair back.

Exposing his forehead, made him pull himself back from you. None of you dared to say anything as you gazed at each other. Your eyes were on his scars, albeit you were shocked, you managed to not show it on your face and instead pulled him closer to press a gentle kiss on his scars.

Your hands slid down to his cheeks and you squished them together, before pulling them back to take off your panties. You didn’t even get to take them off properly as Junpei balanced himself on a balled-up fist and hiked the skirt of your dress up. Although you wanted to offer him to take off your dress and panties, he was already positioning himself between your legs.

He stood still for a moment to look at you under him. Legs spread, hair and dress a mess while panties stuck on one ankle. He had never imagined he would see you like this when he left his house today. If he did, he would have been a lot more prepared.

Like bringing a condom.

“Is it really okay?” he asked.

You nodded, not really understanding what he was asking.

Without wasting another precious second, Junpei tapped his cock on your clit, dragging the tip back and forth between your folds before pushing the tip in. He pushed in deeper, letting out a groan in the process when your gummy walls squeezed around him.

You gasped softly, legs wrapping around his hips.

He took a moment to get himself together, it felt like he was going to cum if he moved. This was nothing like what he had imagined.

Whimpering, you moved your hips to tell him to move.

Junpei nodded, unable to let a single syllable out because of the way you clenched around him. He took a deep breath before tentatively pulling his hips back and slamming into you.

Your lips opened in a silent moan and he leaned down to press his lips onto yours as his hips started moving. His pace was irregular, the snap of his hips was brutal but his cock stroked all the good spots.

Arms wrapping around his neck, you held onto him for dear life when his cock began hammering into you. The girth of his cock was stretching you to your limit but the length was worse, with each snap of his hips, you felt the tip kiss your cervix.

The kiss turned sloppy soon enough, both of you were covered in each other's drool from moving your lips clumsily and thanks to the impact of Junpei humping your cunt like a rabid dog in heat.

His hands went to fondle your tits, he pulled the front of your dress down and dove his hands inside your bra to pinch your nipples, he was excitedly breathing into your mouth.

Both of you were close, he knew because you were a moaning mess, moving your hips desperately to meet his thrusts and his cock was twitching inside you because of how you wanted him like he wanted you.

“I’m- I’m gonna-” He couldn’t even finish his sentence.

When you felt his cock throbbing inside you, your legs wrapped around him tighter preventing him from pulling out. Once it occurred to him that you weren’t letting him go, he surged his forward as far as he could to bury his cock deep in your pussy. The tip of his cock pressed against your cervix and your gummy walls clenched around him.

Junpei’s eye rolled up while he spilled his seed inside your womb and in your pussy, filling you up to the brim. He pulled out to watch his seed oozing out from your gaping hole, he used his thumb to spread your folds wider and smiled in awe.

A moan left your lips, legs shaking in the pleasure of your tummy being full of his cum.

Junpei crawled next to you and put his head on your chest, his hand playing with your breast over your bra as the two of you caught your breaths.

There was a soft silence while you petted his hair and watched the ceiling.

You didn’t know what time it was but it had been long enough.

It was time to go home.

When you arrived at your apartment building, you retrieved your hand that was holding Junpei’s reluctantly. The smile Junpei wished you didn’t lose on your face was gone, instead, there was a broken smile.

He opened the building door for you and pressed the elevator call button. You were clutching on your purse, looking everywhere but his way. Maybe you were thinking that you made a mistake, Junpei knew he couldn’t compete with your boyfriend after all.

The elevator doors opened. The two of you got in. He pressed your floor. After an agonizingly long pause, the doors closed with a soft bell chime.

Having previously made your decision, you grabbed Junpei by his collar and pulled him down to kiss him greedily. Dumbfounded, he kissed you back. Although he wanted to use his hands to caress your body, the elevator’s bell chimed again, alerting that the doors were opening.

You pecked on his lips before letting go of his collar, brightly beaming at him.

His lips curled up into a smile matching yours.

Together, you walked past his apartment and to your place while holding hands, thankfully moving your stuff to the next door was easy.

[sazc94]

Pietro and Bunny

HELLO

Here is my second entry for the wonderful @msmarvelwrites 2k Challenge.

This a spin-off from my Bucky fic: The three times Bucky broke your heart. Part 1 linked Here.

It follows the same timeline and explores the relationship of Pietro and Reader (Bunny) More.

Words 6034

Themes. Angst, Suggestions of smut. But mostly lots and lots of fluff. 18+ Because of the smut suggestions.

This has two parts and I will upload part 2 tomorrow.

𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲?"

Pietro thought you were pretty cool. He thought you and Bucky made a great couple. He enjoyed hanging out with you when you would all hang out as a group. Pietro wasn’t one for girlfriends. Sure he’d had a few semi-serious flings and would occasionally bring a date to the parties after a game and loved how you would instantly make anyone feel welcome. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment he started to think of you as more than a friend. It was sometime during his senior year.

At first, he pushed the idea out of his head. You were Bucky’s girl Y/N! You were the cute shy girl Bucky had brought out of her shell, who was still deep down that adorable musical theatre-loving dork. However, when Bucky started getting defensive around him and Sam about who he was texting, Pietro stopped feeling so bad about liking you of course Pietro would never do anything to jeopardize your relationship with Bucky and his friendships with either of you, but he couldn’t help but feel a tang of jealousy towards Bucky.

2010

“Look at Bucky, can’t go 5 minutes without texting his little cheerleader,” Sam said walking up behind Pietro. Bucky was too engrossed in his phone to pay any attention to the pair of them. Pietro smirked.

“Sam, watch this” Pietro said, before breezing over to Bucky and pulling his phone out of his hands. Bucky instantly shot up trying to grab the phone from Pietro, however, he was too quick throwing the phone to Sam.

“Dear Doll, I love you so much and all thought I only saw you this morning, I am already missing you” Pietro sang in a teasing manner.

“Come on guy’s give it back” Bucky grunted. Sam and Pietro kept throwing the phone between them. Suddenly Sam stopped laughing.

“Hey Buck, who’s Nat and why is she asking if you’re going to be around this summer?” Sam asked his eyebrow shooting up. Bucky’s façade faltered for a second. His usual bright blue eyes deepening with an unfamiliar expression. Pietro’s interest was also piqued, he may have wanted you for himself but that didn’t mean he wanted to see you get hurt.

“Oh, she’s just a friend of Jane’s. I met her at that party after our game in Green Bay last year she’s a cheerleader like Jane and Y/N. Natasha and her boyfriend Clint will be in town the summer and she wants to introduce us apparently her boyfriend was impressed with how we played” Bucky said, shrugging it off like it was no big deal. After that incident, Bucky was on his phone around the football team less and started talking about how much he loved you and couldn’t wait to spend some quality time with you in the summer.

November 2011

By the time graduation rolled around Pietro had put any thoughts about the pair of you out of his mind, chalking it up to wanting a relationship as opposed to you. At least that’s what he kept telling himself. You came along to his graduation ceremony. Well, it was for everyone. Pietro, Sam, Wanda, Jane, and Carol. Bucky came along too. Late. But you were there with Peter Parker who was a freshman, he had talent, but he seemed to prefer being behind a camera as opposed to on the field.

The whole gang hung around the field and bleachers after the ceremony. Goofing off and enjoying the last time the group would all be together like this for a while. Peter took photos of you all. Pietro’s favourite was one where he and Sam had picked you up whilst you were in the middle of talking to Carol and Wanda. The laughter that came out of your mouth as you squealed and shouted for the two footballers to put you down made his heart flutter.

Okay so maybe he wasn’t as over you as he told himself he was. Now he could understand what that Taylor Swift was banging on about in that song of hers.

Have you ever thought just maybe?

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Bucky’s girl,” he said grinning at you. For some stupid reason, probably because Pietro didn’t know what to do with his hands, he ruffled your hair like you were 5 again. He couldn’t help but notice you wince at the old pet name. He mentally kicked himself. Why had he called you that?!

Graduation was the last time he saw you for over a year. Unlike Bucky, Pietro had actually been away at a football camp when Bucky had cheated on you. He didn’t know what had happened. Only knew you two had broken up. Wanda was fiercely protective of her friendship with you and didn’t want to betray you by admitting to those that didn’t know that Bucky had cheated on you. He wasn’t going to lie; he was saddened when you didn’t stay in touch with him after he graduated. But after he started his first year at the University of Michigan, he didn’t have much time to worry about it. He was a Line Backer having secured a football scholarship after college scouts came to see Sam and a few others play, Pietro had caught the eye of the scout from the University of Michigan, all though he was a great player, Pietro didn’t want to play professionally like many of the guys on the team. He was studying Business and Economics.

Since about the age of 15, he and Wanda had always planned on going into business together. Between parties, flirting with the pretty cheerleaders and sorority girls and his studies you became a distant memory to Pietro. That was until one November game in his second year.

The Wolverines were playing the Wisconsin Badgers. Boy did they suck. Not that Pietro minded it allowed him the opportunity to watch the cheerleaders, he knew a few of the girls on the team from various parties, he hadn’t paid much attention to the new girls on the squad. Then out of the corner of his eye, he spotted someone who looked familiar to him. Could it be Y/N? Wanda had mentioned something about you getting a scholarship at Uni for your cheerleading, but he’d been in the middle of a game of Mario Kart with Sam at the time.

He tried to rack his brain’s but then the ball came towards him. He smiled to himself. Showtime Pietro. The game was an easy win. Whilst his teammates cheered Pietro made his way to the side-lines, desperate to know if the girl he’d seen earlier was you. His heart skipped a beat when he heard your familiar laugh. He couldn’t believe it. Pietro came jogging up towards you determined to chat.

“It’s just Y/N” or you can call me cutie you said winking at Pietro, he chuckled.

“How about I just call you tomorrow?” he retorted, you felt yourself blush. Pietro may come across as confident but inside he was shaking with nerves. Was he really doing this? What if you said no? You shrugged before pulling out a sharpie from your bag, you wrote down your number on his arm. He cocked his head puzzled.

“I changed it last year after Bucky wouldn’t stop blowing it up with apology texts,” you said simply wrongly presuming Pietro knew what had gone down. Before Pietro could respond you ran off to join the rest of your squad and headed for the changing room. He couldn’t help but smile to himself as your laughter rang in his ears whilst you walked off the pitch.

“Pietro! What’s good? How’d your game go tonight?” Sam asked. He sounded buzzed and Pietro could hear the faint sounds of a party in the background. Excellent he thought to himself. Sam was buzzed enough to have loose lips but not drunk enough to be of no use and if he was lucky Sam might not even remember half the conversation.

Pietro got back to his apartment, he had zero clues about what had gone on with you and Bucky. It was obvious due to your remark about him blowing up your phone with apology texts that he’d done something. He weighed up his options. Wanda or Sam? Wanda was his twin, and he knew deep down if he pulled the twin card she would tell him, but then if nothing came of this, he would be opening a can of worms with his sister over nothing.

Then there was Sam, he was still pretty close with Bucky and liked to chat a lot. But ultimately, he was like a brother to Pietro, and he trusted Sam to keep his mouth shut. Taking a deep breath and raking his hand through his Silver-blonde hair he picked up his phone and dialled Sam.

“So Sam you’ll never guess who I ran into cheering on the side-lines of the game!?” Pietro tried to sound breezy and cool like it was no big deal, despite the fact he was about to ask his friends ex out on a date.

“ I ran into Y/N. You know Bucky’s girl?” Pietro carried on forcing his voice to sound light. Sam choked on his drink down the other end of the line.

“I wouldn’t let her hear you call her that. That boy broke her damn heart, the fool” Sam said, there was an edge to his voice that Pietro almost missed.

“Wait, what do you mean?” Pietro asked genuinely curious.

“Well remember that little party your sister threw that last week of summer whilst you were away at football camp with some of your new teammates?” Sam asked. He didn’t wait for Pietro to respond before he continued.

“Well, Jane brought her friend Nat along” Sam continued. Pietro took a sharp intake of breath. No, Bucky wouldn’t have been stupid enough to kiss her at a party with your mutual friends, would he?

“Well turns out that Clint guy Bucky talked about wasn’t her boyfriend he was just a really good friend. But by the time we found that out Jane realised both Bucky and this Nat chick hadn’t been seen for at least a good 15, 20 minutes. So, she went to go find Nat. Only to walk in on them fucking. Oh yeah, it was on your bed bro”, Sam finished his story like it was no big deal. Other than the telling disdain in his voice.

Pietro stood stunned. No wonder you had winced at the use of your old nickname. Pietro’s heart broke for you at that moment. He vowed at that moment that no matter what happened between you both, he would do everything in his power to ensure you never had to feel heartbreak like that again.

Pietro will never forget that first date with you. He had come up with some lame excuse of showing you the best-hidden beauty spots of the campus. Not that there were any, he just wanted an excuse to spend some time with you. He wore jeans and a jumper with his beat-up converse.

All though it didn’t look like he had put much effort into his outfit he had spent a good hour agonising over it. In the end, he settled for a faded blue jumper hoping it would make his eyes and hair pop. He met you by the school library and the sun was shining, it was still a chilly November mid-morning.

You had turned up with your hair tied up in a messy bun a few stray pieces framing your cheeks, you had opted for a sweater dress. He remembered because it was loose and comfy but sinched inwards in all the right places. It was a silvery colour almost the same shade his hair was. Pietro swore you took his breath away.

Winter Break 2011

“And that right there is where the fraternity pledges had to stand and sing, I’m a little teapot every time someone put 10$ in the bucket. I didn’t truly understand the strange British Nursery Song or whatever it was, but I did like watching the pledges get embarrassed every time they had to sing when the cute cheerleaders walked past. So, I put 40 Bucks in the bucket when I knew the 3rd Years would be heading to practise” Pietro said pointing to the school statue.

You had nearly fallen over laughing at his story. Pietro noticed how you scrunched your nose up when you laughed. Like a rabbit. No like a Bunny. When Pietro walked you back to your dorm, he wasn’t sure if he was going to kiss you, but when you let him hold your hand, he decided at that moment he would regret it more if he didn’t take the plunge.

The moment he knew he was yours and you were his was at a party, he’d taken you on lots of hot chocolate dates, he knew you didn’t like coffee because it tasted bitter to you and that coca was nice, but you preferred the sweet comfort of a creamy hot chocolate.

It was at a party being held by the Ice Hockey team to celebrate their latest string of wins. You didn’t come to parties often preferring the comfort of a book and a cosy night in, but you always tried to attend parties after the football matches. You walked in wearing a red top and black skinny jeans.

The top wasn’t super low cut, but it hinted at your cleavage, you’d left your hair down for a change in loose curls. You’d recently gotten your hair dyed a deep chocolate brown and it brought out your eyes. Pietro nearly lost his damn mind when his Ice-blue eyes met your chocolate brown eyes after he’d drank all of you in. He excused himself from the conversation he was having with Scott Summers and co making his way over to you.

“Bunny, you look good enough to eat,” Pietro said dipping his head down to meet your lips, your lips were always so warm and welcoming a stark comparison to his cool lips.

“Bunny?” You replied scrunching your nose up. This was the first time Pietro had called you a pet name, you felt your heart somersault.

Pietro was messaging his sister on the drive home. He could tell you had something on your mind, but he knew better than to push you.

“So,” you began.

“What’s up Bunny?” Pietro asked snapping his eyes up from his phone.

“Well, I just thought now might be a good time to talk, we’re clearly going to run into a lot of our old friends, and there’s no way Wanda won’t know something is going on here, and I, I saw your lock screen,” you said. Well yeah Pietro thought, was he meant to be keeping you guys a secret? He didn’t want to, and he had just assumed you were a couple. You did couple type things, watching movies together curled up, holding hands when you guys were out together.

“So you were wondering what we are?” Pietro’s couldn’t hide the amusement in his voice. God, you were adorable. He watched your demeanour change and felt a pang of guilt, the determination in your eyes as you tried to not show that you felt embarrassed.

“Hey Bunny, look at me” Pietro grabbed your hand, wanting you to know how much he truly meant the next few words.

“We are a couple. I’m sorry you felt the need to ask, but I adore you, so we are a thing,” he said stroking circles on the back of your hand. You smiled and nodded to yourself. Pietro held on to your hand stroking circles the rest of the traffic. He couldn’t wait to tell Wanda she was wrong about him never getting serious with anyone.

“Hey Wanda, have you got a second?” Pietro and Wanda were heading out to meet up with you and the rest of the old school gang who had made it home for the Winter Break in the local coffee shop.

“Sure brother, what’s up?” she asked shrugging on her red jacket and lacing up her boots.

“So, you know that girl I told you I was seeing?” Pietro asked, you two hadn’t said if you were going to tell people or just let them figure it out, but he at least wanted to give his twin a heads up. Wanda straightened her brown hair falling behind her ears. She impatiently cocked an eyebrow waiting for her twin to continue. They were going to be late at this rate.

“Well, you know her. In Fact, you’re good friends” Pietro continued sucking in his breath.

“If you mean to tell me you’re dating Y/N, I already know brother”, Pietro froze. “I’m happy for you, but if you break her heart like that James did, I will not hesitate to kill you and hide the body” she continued.

“How did you know?” Pietro couldn’t help but ask, you guys hadn’t been a secret, but you hadn’t exactly announced it to the world either.

“I’m good at reading people Pietro” Wanda shrugged before heading out the door.

“You sly dog,” Sam said chuckling. Just then Peter turned up. Sam’s comment hadn’t escaped you, so you simply shot Pietro a quizzical look, one of your eyebrows arched. Pietro gently shook his head. He’d tell you about the phone call later.

It was great hanging out with the old gang, shame about Carol, and Jane being unable to make it back. Bucky was dating that Natasha chick and hadn’t come home from the holidays. Evidently, this wasn’t a surprise to Sam or Wanda. Pietro however was a bit taken back. That was until he heard how his sister had almost killed Bucky when she had run into him last summer. Carol had had to restrain her. Pietro couldn’t lie he was kind of bummed to miss it.

Pietro and Wanda didn’t celebrate Christmas, but they did celebrate being around people they loved and as the four of you sat around waiting for Peter Parker to make an appearance, he couldn’t help but feel his heart swell. You hadn’t even reacted to the mentions of Bucky. The way your brown eyes lit up when you teased Sam about his poor season or crinkled your nose when Wanda complimented your new hair, made Pietro come completely undone. Not being able to restrain himself anymore he leant in and kissed you, a slow soft kiss. The taste of your gingerbread cookie and peppermint hot chocolate lingering on your lips. When Pietro pulled away, he shot Sam a wink, and you promptly turned crimson. Sam just sat there gawking. Pietro watched as Sam tried to piece together his hazy memory from that phone call.

2012

Pietro absolutely adored the photo you had gotten him for Christmas, displaying it on his bedside table proudly. He had brought you a stuffed bunny for Christmas, cheesy but it made you beam at him.

“A Bunny for my Bunny” Pietro said shooting you his signature grin. Your heart constricted; it was an adorable soft fluffy powder blue bunny.

After winter break things got crazy busy. The year also seemed to rush by, between keeping on top, your rehearsals for the play. Pietro’s football practises, football matches, nationals for your cheerleading competition. It felt like you had barely any time to breathe. Pietro always looked forward to football games, not because he loved playing which he did, no it was because when you were cheering your face lit up, you always had his number painted on your cheek. Your brown hair always pulled up in a high ponytail, accentuating your big beautiful brown eyes that always looked for Pietro’s ice-blue eyes on the field. Mostly he loved the looks of jealousy he would get from the other team when players would be checking you out. Pietro would always come over for a kiss for good luck when he wasn’t on the field. You always giggled about how Mr cool; the confident cocky big-time football player was such a dork around you. Pietro was fast, sometimes your eyes couldn’t quite make out his movements, all you would see was a flash of his silver-blonde hair that peeked out under his helmet. You had started calling him Quicksilver, originally as a joke but it had stuck.

“So, move in with me for the summer,” he had said, his heart pounding in his chest. It wasn’t a big deal really but the thought of waking up to you every day for the summer made him practically giddy. Pietro continued to stroke circles on your bare legs. He was watching Grease, but he wasn’t absorbing what was being said.

Pietro loved every single second he got to spend with you, but mostly he loved the summer. College football season had finished, school was winding down and it meant he got to sit in those quiet moments with you. Pietro had no plans to go home for the Summer.

Pietro adored you more than he was willing to admit, hell he loved you which is why he was always never going to push you for anything more than you were comfortable with. He was content just kissing you, steamy make-out sessions. He just liked being close to you breathing in your scent, in the winter you always smelt like Vanilla and crushed Rose Petals. In the summer you changed your body spray, and he hadn’t quite been able to pinpoint the smell, but you smelt like Peaches, sunscreen, and sunshine. Okay, maybe not sunshine but he felt the warmth of your presence every time you were together. Pietro knew you were stressing about summer accommodation so he couldn’t help but offer up his place.

“Okay, I’ll move in for the summer,” you said. You picked up the remote and pressed pause on the DVD Pietro had been so focused on trying to play it cool he hadn’t even heard you the first time you spoke. When you started undressing, Pietro didn’t know where to look. Sure, you’d spent nights together, but Pietro always left you to get changed in his room whilst he went to brush his teeth. His eyes couldn’t help but wander over your body as you walked into your bedroom. Pietro inwardly groaned and felt himself harden. Trying to take his mind off what he had just witnessed he pulled out his phone. That’s when you appeared in the door frame, wearing nothing but his football jersey, when it lifted to show the skin of your bare stomach Pietro nearly lost his damn mind.

“Well, are you coming or not handsome?” Pietro grinned throwing his phone on the sofa and closing the gap between you in seconds, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. Pietro was certain that if he didn’t get his way with you right that second, he would combust.

Winter Break 2012

“You love her, don’t you?” Wanda asked Pietro. You were finishing up tech rehearsals, so Wanda and Pietro were enjoying some sibling bonding by cooking Paprikash. Wanda’s eyes narrowed at Pietro who was avoiding eye contact with his sister. He could feel his sisters warm blue eyes boring into him. Eventually, Pietro stopped washing up and turned to face his sister. Wiping his hands on a tea towel he finally lifted his eyes to meet Wanda’s.

“Yes, of course, I do but that’s not a secret, so what are you actually asking Wanda?” Pietro raked a hand through his silver-blonde hair.

“It's obvious you two love each other Pietro, dearly. But you’re in love with her, you would hang the stars for that girl, and when are you going to admit it? You visibly had a thing for her back in high school and you have healed the damage done by James Barnes. So why don’t you let your guard down and tell her how you truly feel?” Wanda asked. Pietro stood there dumbfounded. Had it genuinely been that obvious to people he had liked you back in high school when you were Bucky’s girl? As if reading Pietro’s mind Wanda answered his question.

“You may have fooled everyone else Pietro, but not me” Wanda returned to her cooking and that was the last of the conversation.

“Are you sure your mum doesn’t mind me staying with you guys for winter break?” you asked twiddling your hair nervously. Pietro chuckled lifting your small suitcase into his car.

“Come on then quicksilver, let’s get going before the traffic builds up,” you said shooting him a grin your worries disappearing.

“Yes Bunny, she wouldn’t hear of you staying here alone. Besides, Wanda would rip my arms off if I even thought about coming home without you” he said pressing a kiss to your temple. Pietro had refused to let you drive saying it was his turn as you had driven last year. You still looked unsure tugging at the selves of your red jumper dress as you walked round to the front of his car. Your brown hair fell in loose waves, still slightly damp from your last-minute shower.

Pietro sensed something else was bothering you but didn’t push it. Instead, he hopped up on the bonnet of his car and pulled you between his legs. Pressing his forehead to yours, he uttered a silent promise that his mum would love you and that that the rest of the old gang would be happy for you both like they had all sworn they were. You looked up at him through your big doe eyes and pecked a gentle kiss on his nose.

“So, who did you say was coming tonight again?” you asked. You were standing in Wanda’s room whilst you both got ready for the small hang out Pietro and Wanda were hosting. Pietro had gone out to pick up Sam and Peter Parker and this girl he was bringing, Gwen. Pietro of course had been right about his mum loving you, you’d spent the last four days feeling welcome, included and at home. Wanda and Pietro’s mum had enveloped you into a big hug the moment she met you.

“Sam, Jane, Peter and his girlfriend Gwen. Carol’s coming, I think she said she was bringing her girlfriend. Now put this on” Wanda said handing you a low cut, slim-fitting black sweater dress. You rolled your eyes at Wanda; you were quite happy wearing one of Pietro’s oversized sweaters and your jeans, but you knew better than to argue with her. Just then you heard the door shut.

“It will be great to have so many of the old group back together,” Sam said shrugging off his jacket as he followed Pietro down to the converted basement.

“How are things between you and Y/N?” Sam asked.

“Sam, they’re pretty amazing,” Pietro said, a slight blush forming in his cheeks.

“Okay, that’s good to hear. Did you know Bucky’s in town for the holidays? I text him saying he should come along tonight; I hope that’s okay?” Sam asked. Pietro shrugged, he hadn’t spoken to Bucky since Bucky’s graduation and even then, that had been by phone. It wasn’t that Pietro actively avoided speaking with Bucky, it’s just that Pietro didn’t have anything to say to Bucky.

The pair of you had spoken in great detail about everything that went down between Bucky and yourself last year after winter break, and Pietro could see you still carried the scars from what he had done to when he cheated on yourself. Just then Wanda and you made your way downstairs into the basement. Pietro felt himself harden when he got a good look at what you were wearing. It was going to be a long night whilst Pietro thought the urge to take you upstairs and fuck you senseless. As if reading her brothers thoughts Wanda smirked to herself, a job well done, maybe now her brother would grow some balls and finally tell you exactly how he felt.

“Bunny, you look. Just wow” Pietro said. Sam rolled his eyes, you giggled before walking over to give Pietro a gentle kiss on the lips. You wrapped your arms around him hugging him close before you felt his hardened member. You cocked an eyebrow at him, but Pietro shook his head brushing your hair behind your ears before giving you another gentle kiss.

After about two hours, everyone had relaxed, caught up and were just chilling. Sam hadn’t heard from Bucky, so Pietro hadn’t thought anything more about it, no sense bringing it up to you if he didn’t show.

Sam had also gotten up nudging Pietro, swearing he would beat him next time. Pietro chuckled, that’s when Sam nudged him.

“You sly bastard Parker” Sam practically shouted. The three of them were playing Mario Kart whilst Taylor Swift played in the background, all though he’d never admit to anyone, including no, especially you. Taylor Swift had grown on him over the past year. Mostly because he loved the way you lit up when you sang along to her in the car.

Pietro was so engrossed in his game with the boys he barely registered you getting up off the sofa next to him. Whilst Sam had been busy yelling at Peter for using Banana peels, Pietro had overtaken Sam in the race. Once the game finished Pietro noticed you weren’t next to him. Feeling empty without you snuggled next to him he got up and stretched. He figured you were probably talking to the girls or something.

“Uh, Pietro, you might want to go save your girl from an awkward encounter with her ex” Sam looked pained. He was realising the error of his ways by inviting Bucky along. Pietro just shot him a puzzled look before following Sam’s line of sight. Pietro sucked a breath in.

“Sam, I swear to god if she ends up in tears tonight because of you, I will not hesitate to punch you in the face,” Pietro said before walking off to the fridge where you and Bucky stood.

“Yeah, schools fine thanks Bucky,” you said politely. Pietro’s heart was beating loudly in his chest, he had no concerns about how secure your relationship was, he just wanted to save you from any unnecessary heartbreak when it came to James “Bucky” Barnes.

December 2012 – August 2014

“Hey Bunny,” he said kissing the corner of your head before wrapping his arms around you.

“Hey Buck, long time no see!” Pietro said. Bucky stood frozen for a few seconds processing what he had just witnessed.

“Hey, Pietro Yeah. It's been a hot minute, so you two are a couple? You guys look cute congrats. Oh man, wow is that Peter over there? I barely recognise him I’m going to go say hey. Catch you guys later!” Bucky said practically running over to Peter. You turned around and kissed Pietro.

“Come on Quicksilver, let’s see if I can beat you at Mario Kart,” you said pulling him over to the sofa. Pietro instantly felt himself relax, glad to see that you hadn’t been impacted by Bucky’s sudden appearance. He grinned at you as he let you drag him behind you,

“What?” you said chuckling at his goofy grin.

“I’m just so fucking in love with you Y/N,” he said. Your heart skipped a few beats. Sure, you had both said I love you, but the way Pietro’s ice-blue eye’s shone at you, the way he had phrased it as being in love with you, made your heart squeeze, butterflies erupt in your stomach and all those other cliché metaphors.

“Pietro, I am going to rock you fucking world tonight, because I feel the exact same way”, you whispered in his ear. Pietro’s eyes bulged out of his head. He lent down and gave you a hungry kiss, sending electricity coursing through your body. When you finally broke free from the kiss Pietro, caught sight of Bucky glowering in the corner of the room ignoring whatever it was Peter was wittering on about.

Winter break came and went. Your second year at Uni whizzed past. Pietro even joined you and your family for your annual summer vacation in Miami, your grandparents were getting on a bit, so you decided to skip the summer production of Hairspray. Pietro joined you for two summers of family vacations in Miami. Your Grandma took a liking to him.

“Pietro, so good to see you again,” she said hugging him. “If I was 55 years younger”, she said shooting Pietro a wink. Pietro chuckled and stuck his tongue out at you.

“See I told you that she loved me the most out of all of you,” he said. You rolled your eyes. Pietro was right your grandma did have a soft spot for him. Who could blame her? Pietro was a true gentleman and his muscles stretched out any shirt he wore. His floppy silver-blonde hair and his goody grin. You were truly a lucky girl. He was going to break your grandma’s heart as much as yours when you two ended things this summer.

Saying goodbye to you was going to be one of the hardest things he ever had to do. The pair of you had spent the last week of summer in Florida with Wanda and her boyfriend James also known as Vision. Tomorrow you would both be getting on separate planes and going your separate ways. You were dancing around in the sea not a care in the world.

Pietro loved the way you were in the summer, the stresses of school melted away. You burned easily so your skin always had a very faint sun-kissed glow to it, but the way you were with your family. That was when you truly glowed. The way you blushed when your parents would talk about how proud they were of you. You were an only child, so your cousins were the closest thing to siblings you had.

And boy did your two male cousins pick on you. Teasing you about being smart, your relationship with Pietro. The way you would roll your eyes at them. Pietro’s heart squeezed with adoration when he watched you huddled in the kitchen with your grandma. Oblivious to the fact he was watching your brow would furrow in concentration as your grandma bossed you about in the kitchen whilst the pair of you cooked up some delicious treats.

“You know brother if you asked her to do long distance and wait for you, she would”, Wanda said sitting down next to Pietro. Wanda’s red hair almost looked like fire in the setting sun. Pietro sighed and shook his head.

“I know, but it’s not right or fair on her. She has plans of her own and we will be busy setting up your fashion label in NYC” he said, raking a hand through his hair.

“Besides, She's Cheer Captain, and I'm on the bleachers. She deserves to enjoy her last year, her heart is in Michigan, where her mum and dad are.” Pietro sighed. Just then you came bounding over. Your black bikini just about covering all it needed too. You plopped down on the blanket beside Pietro, your brown hair trying to escape its messy bun. You rested your head in Pietro’s lap. You giggled as he gently bopped your nose. Swallowing down the ache in your chest.

The pair of you stood wrapped in each other’s embrace at the airport, the rest of the world shut out. Pietro breathing in your familiar scent one last time. He didn’t need to hear you to know you were crying. It was taking everything in him not to cry too.

“Be good Bunny, don’t cause too much mischief with Loki and stay in touch. I love you my little Bunny” he said wiping the tears from your eyes. You couldn’t say anything, so you just held him tight and cried. When you finally broke the embrace and Pietro boarded. He wiped away the few tears that had escaped his eyes.

[harryhighkey]

the 1

hi!

so because i haven’t been able to listen to anything but folklore ever since it came out here’s a one shot inspired by one of the songs, the 1.

i’m really proud of how this turned out and i’m thinking of maybe doing more one shots inspired by songs from that album!

hope u like it and happy reading ♡

______________________

You were doing good.

So good in fact, that when someone asked you how you were, it wasn’t a mundane, somewhat conditioned response of ‘good’ - even if you weren’t. It was a genuine, wholehearted ‘I’m so good’ kind of response you’d hear in some finding the light moment by a protagonist in a movie. You deserved it too, you had been actively trying to find this frame of mind and finally here you were.

You first noticed the change in yourself when you started some new habits in your life. The moment came when you were caught in a drunk-minded deep conversation with one of your best friends.

-

“Y’know what I need?”

“What?”

“Get on some new shit.”

“You wan’ drugs right now?”

“Nah, nah, nah, not like that. I mean like, in life in general, y’know?”

“Yeah, dude. Same, like... let’s day drink on weekdays too.”

-

You laughed at her reply, but you remember not saying no. That was something else you were trying to do. Saying yes instead of no.

It’s not that you were necessarily a no person. In fact, you liked to think you were more of a yes person. You were always the friend who was up for anything once upon a time. No matter if it was going to sushi train, spending an afternoon following a Bob Ross tutorial, going axe-throwing, having a Sunday sesh of drinking bottomless margaritas or simply laying in bed and bitching about the people you didn’t like from high school and how boring their lives seemed compared to yours. You were always very friend orientated and you had amazing friends who you always had the most fun with and when that part of your life halted, it effected you more then you realised.

It had stopped by your own choice. You happened to fall in love with one of the most known and beloved male singers of this generation. Harry Styles. At first you kept living normally, but it was only a matter of time before you would get recognised more and more due to being his girlfriend. You didn’t sign up for being a celebrity, it was never your plan and you didn’t consider yourself to be one. But you couldn’t deny that you were known in the Harry Styles fandom for sure. Because of this, you started saying no to a lot more things. It was a sacrifice, but one you were willing to make at the time for the boy who you were so sure was the one.

It was impossible to ignore his status when you two were together and even now when you were not. There was a day when it had been two months and six days since you broke up where you were driving home from work and you were thinking of him. On your lunch break, your co worker who was named Henry was drinking from a mug with a ‘H’ on it. It was the same mug you had bought for Harry when you two were together. And on your way home there was a split second where you thought you saw him at the bus stop. You didn’t though. Of course not, it was just your mind playing a sick trick after you’d been thinking of him so much. Someone of Harry’s fame wouldn’t be able to catch a public bus, especially at peak hour without causing a ruckus. It was easy to miss the good parts and that moment was a slap in the face of reality at how the two of you struggling to be a ‘normal’ couple was a big reason why you broke up.

Two days after that, you spent a week where you swore to hit the ground running each night that week to feel better. The first night was out to dinner, the second was a board game night, the third was visiting your parents, the fourth was an escape room, the fifth was a rooftop bar, and finally came Sunday where you hit the matinee.

That week was exactly what you needed. It was busy as hell, but you wanted it to be. By the end of the week you were exhausted, but in the best possible way. Almost in a way of when you exercise and the release of good endorphins follow. You really felt like the main character in your life again, and when you were reminiscing back on the packed week, it was like a montage in a movie and your favourite songs would’ve been playing as the soundtrack. But then you had a wave of him. One single moment alone, and of course he’d crept into your mind. A simple memory of when you couldn’t decide what movie to watch. You had very different tastes when it came to watching something and Harry in an effort to soothe this over before it became frustrating asked in a dramatised voice,

“Don’t you know that the greatest films of all time were never made?”

At the time you had rolled your eyes and laughed at him. But maybe he was right after all. You missed him again in that moment, you never thought you would have to miss him in that way. When you were together and you missed him because he was away for a work commitment, you could call him up. Now you couldn’t. The the last phone you’d had with him flew to the front of your mind and sadly it was a bitter memory.

-

“Hi, baby.”

“Hey, H.”

“You okay?”

You sighed.

“That’s a no.”

“Mhm.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Well I’m home again.”

“Go out then, (Y/N). You don’t need to have fomo.” He tried to lighten the mood by saying it like that, you were an extreme fomo sufferer and it was a personal joke within your life and at first he had found it cute and joined in. But it wasn’t simply fomo anymore. You were beginning to become depressed with the downfall of your social life that was once, such a defining aspect of who you are, and one of the reasons you had caught Harry’s attnetion in the first place, he loved your extroverted attitude.

“If I go, I’m gonna’ feel like groups of girls are looking at me and talking about me.”

“I know how that feels.”

“Harry, it’s not the same for me.”

“I know.”

You gave him silence, some sort of this conversation had became pretty repetitive for you two towards the end of your relationship.

“I am sorry you’re feeling like this (Y/N), but I’m not sorry for having my life.” He was getting frustrated, you could hear it in his voice. You were too, but you understood his frustration now, you didn’t then.

“Well, how I was to know that dating you meant this? You never know... never know that dating someone is going to fuck your life up.”

“I fucked your life up?”

“Kinda, yeah.”

-

He hung up then. It wasn’t pretty due to things only getting rockier. You broke up the day after that call. And fuck, were you devastated. You didn’t have your old life because going out meant feeling like people were looking at you for being Harry Styles’ girlfriend and that would hurt too much knowing you weren’t. Another thing that kept you inside for the most part, was the knowledge that it would only be a matter of time before rumours spread on social media that the two of you had split. And you didn’t even want to think about how it would make you feel to hear people you didn’t know at all whisper about you being his ex. So there you were, without your old life and also without Harry and the new life you had with him.

It fucking sucked.

You waited for him to call, or to show up at your door to display some proclamation of love to get back together. In the first two months you would’ve said yes of course. But unfortunately it happened five months and twenty-eight days after the break up.

You were having a really good night. Harry wasn’t.

You and your sister were at the movies and you had to go to the toilet after ordering the biggest slurpee size and not being able to make it through the movie without needing a pee break. Just after you’d washed your hands your phone rang and you answered without looking at who it was, assuming it would be your sister asking to get some more m&m’s.

-

“Yeah?”

“Ah..hi. Bad time?” You recognised his voice and swore you felt your heart lurch into your throat. “(Y/N)?” You hadn’t answered him and you had answered the call so quick, he was caught off guard at your abrupt answering of the phone and now complete silence.

“No.. I, I didn’t look who was calling. I thought it was (Y/S/N).”

“Oh, you out?”

“Just to the movies.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah.”

“Bet you look so pretty, baby.” He was drunk. His compliment did cause that warmth to appear in your heart, but you fought against it.

“Why are you calling, Harry?”

“Miss you...miss you so much.” Tears welled in your eyes, this was all you had wanted months ago. Just not now, not after you’d work so hard to get your life back on track to how you liked it. “Want you back, (Y/N).”

“Stop.”

“No.”

“It’s too late.”

“Why?”

“You had so much time to do this, it isn’t fair you’re doing it now. If you wanted me, you really should’ve showed.”

“I’m-”

-

You hung up on him and then cried.

You never made it back to into the theatre, instead, your sister came to you in the bathroom, making a joke about if you had gotten diarrhoea. She quickly stopped when she saw your makeup ruined and teary eyes. Immediately becoming concerned and when you explained what had happened, she simply told you,

“If you never bleed, you’re never gonna grow.” And that was all you really needed to hear.

And so bleed you did, figuratively. You thought you had gotten past the crying stage but that call brought on a second wave. Except this time, you were determined to keep up with your found again lifestyle. More often then not you saved the crying for when you were alone. But sometimes, something reminded you of him and you couldn’t help but to become a little teary eyed in public.

One day though, a month and eleven days after that call, the tears weren’t out of complete sadness. You were at your nieces birthday party and the current activity for the children was making balloon figures with those long, skinny balloons. Your attention was on one kid who was seeming to struggle a little and you could quickly see that her balloon was shaping into something not so appropriate for a kids party. It made you laugh and before you gave it a second thought, you snapped a photo and sent it to Harry, due to it reminding you of a memory with him.

-

“Baby, I don’t think giraffes are meant to look like that.” Harry was laughing at you, the two of you had, had some drinks and after finding a random packet of those bendable balloons in your backpack, you decided on seeing who could make the best animals.

“I know! I can’t figure out how to do it any differently.” Your tone was frustrated. That was your third attempt and it was turning out exactly how the first two had. In the shape of a penis.

“That dirty mind of yours.” He continued to tease you so you hit him with your penis shaped balloon and he quickly picked up the other two to hit you back with them. It wasn’t long until the swats of balloons became grabby hands and you two had some of the best sex you’d ever had.

-

It was such a fun moment and your eyes did well up slightly, but it was more of a nostalgic feeling. He replied to the photo quickly.

Harry: I want to support you in whatever you do but I can’t support you teaching the only balloon shape you know how to do, to kids.

His reply was funny and you laughed and gave a quick wipe under your eyes before a tear could roll down but your sister caught the movement and gave you a questioning look so you told her,

“It’s alright now.” And she knew exactly what you meant.

You didn’t message him back. That day. And you had to really fight with yourself not to but for the next two nights he was in all of your dreams so that third morning when you woke up and was still half asleep, you messaged him.

(Y/N): I had this dream you were doing cool shit.

Harry: You did? What was I doing?

(Y/N): A bunch of things, it was like I was watching a movie of you.

Harry: How so?

(Y/N): Idk, having all these adventures on your own.

Harry: Anything in particular that stands out?

(Y/N): You met a woman on the internet and took her home.

Harry: It wasn’t you?

(Y/N): No.

Harry: Interesting.

You didn’t reply after that. You thought it would be another light hearted text conversation but something felt weird about it. Yes, you were obviously broken up but you swore there was a shift of some kind.

You tried your best to forget about, you really fucking tried but a few more weeks passed and on a Saturday at 1:33am you were drunk calling him.

“’lo?” It was his ‘I just woke up voice’. And your heart fluttered, he always was a ‘Do Not Disturb’ person when he slept, so this meant your contact was still selected as a favourite.

“Hi.”

“(Y/N)? What time is it?”

“1:33am.”

“You okay?”

“I don’ know.”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“My life feels out of place...and I’ve been trying real fucking hard to get it back on track.”

“I’m sure if you keep trying-”

“I hate tha’ you’re missing from my life.” You cut him off.

“(Y/N), I think you need to get some sleep.” He could tell you were drunk.

“I know we never painted by the numbers, but like, we were making it count... Right?”

“Right.”

“But it doesn’t mean anything anymore... the greatest loves of all time are over now.” You were so drunk, and speaking a little dramatically but Harry knew you were in a state, so he was being a little patient with you. “Do you miss me, Harry?”

“I do.”

“I miss you, too.”

“But think of all the things you missed when we were together. I don’t want you to stop living your life that you love so much.”

“Yeah, guess so.”

“This is for the best.”

“Do you actually think that?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Do you want to come stay tonight? I miss you a lot in the mornings.” You were getting more tired and Harry could hear it in your voice.

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I just can’t, (Y/N).”

“Fine, it’ll just be another day waking up alone.”

“You’re not alone, you’ve got so many people in your life.”

“But not you, anymore.”

“Well, you still do, just not in the same way.”

“But, we were something, don’t you think so?”

“I do think so.... Are you okay, (Y/N)?” Harry asked a second time, he still cared for you so much.

“I think so, I just, can’t stop thinking about what if we had been together in another time... Like, imagine us in the roaring twenties. We’d be so vibrant and throwing parties together... Wishful, too. Tossing pennies in the pool.”

“What would you wish for?” He knew it was wrong to ask this while you were intoxicated but your emotion was flowing onto him even through the phone and he couldn’t help himself but to induldge in your scenario.

“Harry, if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you and me always.” You so unashamedly admitted, and Harry felt guilty then. He was pretty certain you’d wake up in the morning and regret this.

“I think I should go, (Y/N). Let you get some sleep, okay?”

“Yeah, night.” You were exhausted.

“Goodnight.”

-

The next day your best friend called and once you had told her of your late drunken call to Harry she immediately asked you,

“Now why the fuck would you do that?”

“In my defence... well I have none.”

“Exactly, and my question still stands, why the fuck would you do that?”

“You know me, just can never leave things well enough alone.”

After that call and promising your best friend that you wouldn’t go drunk dialling ex boyfriends again, you really wanted to stick to it. And so you did.

For seven months, there was no contact. And Harry had been laying pretty low so he wasn’t really being talked about and plastered in places so you couldn’t not see his face or hear his name or his songs.

Until news broke of him and his new girlfriend.

It was everywhere and you hated it. You hadn’t even thought of dating someone new. A couple months ago, you and your friend had set up a tinder profile for you but you hadn’t used it at all. You didn’t end things with Harry because you didn’t love him, because you did. So maybe part of you thought that you would get back together eventually, and maybe part of you thought he felt the same.

Apparently not.

The following weekend, you only had a couple drinks when you went out for a friends birthday. Truth being told, ever since seeing photos of Harry simply holding hands with another girl who wasn’t you, you had a pit in your stomach. You didn’t stay out for long, either. It was probably just you being a little anxious but you couldn’t shake the feeling that people were staring at you, and it had been a while since you felt like that and it was not a welcomed feeling.

Once you were home, you persisted and resisted the temptation to call or message Harry, simply to ask him if one thing had been different, would everything be different today? But you did resist and that was something you could celebrate.

-

Eventually those feelings that came from seeing Harry with his new girlfriend, faded. Partly because you’d done everything in your power to block hearing any news about him, but it was what you needed for your own peace of mind.

But today, you were going to see him, you knew that. And you knew there was a possibility of his new girlfriend also being there. It was a mutual friends engagement party, and maybe you had tried extra hard to look as good as you possibly could due to this knowledge.

You’d brought your best friend as a plus one and she spotted him before you did.

“Don’t turn around, but he’s coming in now.”

“Is she with him?”

“Yeah.” You took in a deep breath at your best friends confirmation of what you’d been worrying over. “He’s just spotted you.”

“Fuck... Does he look like he’s gonna come over?”

“Maybe, he’s talking at the moment.”

Harry was only a 180 twist away from seeing him after no contact for so long, but anxiety overtook any feeling of excitement or temptation. “Let’s move, I’m not ready.”

“We’ll go get a drink.”

The two of you walked off to the bar area and you released a sigh of relief which was followed by a few wet pussy shots to calm your nerves.

As the night continued on, you started to feel more at ease, which was probably from the alcohol but you didn’t care what it came from, as long as you felt better. As far as coming into contact with Harry, you hadn’t yet. You’d spotted the back of him a number of times, but he was always involved in a conversation with someone else.

It was when the engaged couple and their families announced speeches, you’d ended up closer to him then you would have liked. You sat down beside your best friend, only to look slightly to your left and see Harry sitting just to the side of you and a tiny bit forward.

You wished you could’ve said you found this fine and you enjoyed the speeches given by the couple and their family members but you kept allowing your eyes to drift over to him. It was so easy to considering he would have to look over his shoulder to catch you looking. He seemed happy with the rosé flowing with his chosen family.

“Are you okay?” Your best friend whispered to you and you looked back to her with a soft, sad smile.

“Yeah... just would’ve been sweet if it could’ve been me.”

You were so grateful she was there with you and when the final speech was completed with a cheers, the both of you downed your own drinks and then laughed at each other. The laugh of yours that was familiar to someone else in the room and when you felt your vision moving to the left again, you were greeted with Harry’s eyes locking with your own. You weren’t even sure how, but your heart stilled and you watched as he turned his head back to the woman stood beside him to tell her something. She gave him a smile and nodded and you quickly looked at her as she glanced to you, you barely mirrored the smile she offered you because then Harry was making his way towards you.

“Hello, ladies.” He greeted the two of you. Moving to hug your best friend first because you had subconsciously taken a step back when he became too close.

“Hey, Harry.” She greeted him back and you took the brief moment they embraced to glance down and try to quickly regain your composure as best as you could.

It was only a quick timeframe between him hugging your best friend hello to then solely directing his attention to you but at the same time, it seemed like time was in slow motion.

“(Y/N), hi.” He moved to you so easily, and you to him. You were worried about it being awkward but your bodies knew exactly what they were doing when it came to each other. Your arms didn’t bump into each other, rather they so elegantly glided across one another until yours were up and around his shoulders and his were clasped so snugly around your waist.

Fuck, it felt good. It had been so long since you’d seen him, let alone felt him. You were so happy it was a genuine hug, being pressed against him and being held so tight felt so right. “Hi.” You finally returned his greeting, quietly and he pulled you in closer then.

“I’m just gonna head to the bathroom, guys.” Your best friend spoke up and part of you was glad because you weren’t sure you could ever let go of Harry again after being apart for so long. Another part of you wasn’t because it did cause the two of you to break apart and look towards her. You both shared a look, an unspoken ‘are you going to be okay?’ before she walked away after an unspoken confirmation.

When you looked back to Harry, you realised your hand was still gently holding onto this arm and when you noticed he had completely dropped his touch from you, you did the same. “Sorry.” You apologised and held your hands in front of you, but he smiled so warmly at you.

“Don’t be, it’s all good.” He always was so good at making you feel okay.

It was beginning to grow louder where you were with the completion of speeches and the party going back into full swing, so at the same time you both started to suggest finding a different spot.

“Should we-” You both stopped to allow the other to continue but with the double stop you both laughed.

“Let’s go.” Harry continued and so you walked with him in search of a more peaceful spot. After a few steps, you started to grab his hand without even realising why it would be a little problematic to do that right now. “(Y/N)...” He garnered your attention by calling your name and before you could finish filling the gaps between your fingers with his own, he pulled his hand away. His movements weren’t quick or aggressive and he didn’t speak your name with any kind of warning, it was more of a sad tone.

“Sorry.” A second apology was given.

“It’s okay.” He accepted, he wasn’t trying to make you feel uncomfortable.

Eventually, you two found an empty side balcony with a little corner seat to occupy and when you sat down, your knees touched but neither of you made any effort to move to stop the accidental physical connection.

“You look beautiful.” He complimented you so doubtlessly and as your eyes found his again, you swore the stars you saw in them made their way right to your heart to pierce through it. At a different time, you would have slid right beside him and held his face in your hands and kissed him so tenderly. His hands would have effortlessly found their place on your hips and if you were both feeling daring enough, you would have fucked hard and fast right there on that balcony. But he wasn’t yours anymore. Those stars weren’t for you anymore, as much as you wanted them to be. So you couldn’t allow yourself to react how you wanted to.

“Don’t do that, Harry.”

“What?”

“Tell me that and look at me like that. It’s not fair.”

“(Y/N),” He looked away then with a sigh, but you kept your eyes trained on his side profile. “You wanted this.”

“Okay, no.” Immediately, you argued against his words. “This,” He looked back to you then as you waved your hand between you two, “is not what I wanted.”

“Enlighten me, then.” His tone changed, it was slightly angered now.

“Really? Do you really want to dig up that grave another time.”

“I mean, as far I can remember you broke up with me.”

“But not because I didn’t love you or want you or anything like that, though.” You turned more towards him and the contact of your leg against his became more prominent.

“I know... but I’m with someone else now.”

Fuck, that hurt.

“I know.” Your voice cracked and instantly you snapped your head to the side in an effort to hide your teary eyes but he had already spotted them welling up.

“(Y/N),” He placed his hand on your knee and without looking at him you put your hand over his, at first you told yourself you were going to push his hand away, but instead you let your hand simply sit atop his. “Please don’t cry.”

“I’m trying not to.” And you were. Harry could see that and he waited as you took in a few very shaky breaths. It took everything in him to not gather you in his arms and cradle you against him, but he knew that wouldn’t be the right thing to do right now. But with each breath they became more evened out.

After a couple of minutes, you looked back to him while also lifting your hand from his and pushing his hand from your leg. He got the message and removed his grip.

“I swear I’ve actually been really good.” You spoke up and Harry smiled.

“I don’t doubt that.”

As you continued on, you looked away from him. Mindlessly glancing at whatever you could as you tried to explain. “No, really...like, I miss you, yeah, but, I really have been doing good.”

“I believe you.”

“Honestly, I swear I don’t sit around crying all the time.”

“(Y/N),” Instantly you looked back at him. “I know, you don’t have to explain yourself.”

You laughed and so did he.

“It would’ve been fun... wouldn’t it?”

“What?”

“If you would’ve been the one.”

[lydias--stiles]

JATP Fanworks Appreciation Week

TRIVIA TUESDAY Creators: give a “behind the scenes” look at your works

Below the cut are some anecdotes about the stories I’ve written for the fandom!

The Infamous Tale of Luke and Julie's Grand Trip Across America I felt bad about the way I’ll never fully be able to write perfect English and how messy my sentences looked, but then I realised that I could hone that and just write these sprawling paragraphs and see where it goes. Jack Kerouac calls it ‘spontaneous prose’ and his book “On The Road” helped me with certain parts.   The roadtrip fic was something that spawned from my desire for something other than angst + a Gilbert-centric story I wrote back in 2018 for Anne With An E. In the end, it was still kind of angsty, but I’m proud of myself for inserting lots of humour and quirky moments. I have zero clue how I came up with the recurring soda gag. Oddly enough, I listened to a very emotional, slower song when Luke realises his feelings for her. “Sun” by Sleeping At Last - as opposed to the uptempo song that’s playing diegetically.  The scene where they sleep in Raoul’s inventory was the first scene I wrote! Most scenes I wrote on my long commutes.  Raoul’s family is based on my own! I’m not black, but we have a close connection to Congo. The dish they eat, moambe, was my comfort food (before I became vegan lol) and I wanted Luke to feel that same sense of comfort and safety.  The bittersweet ending was always meant to be that way.

at long last, love has arrived I listened to this playlist ONCE and I went fully feral. I daydreamed the entire story while smiling like a fool and very much frightened my window neighbour. It was outlined in ten minutes and written in six days. I didn’t sleep and barely did any school work but it was so fucking worth it.  It was supposed to be even longer, but I got agitated and just wanted to finish it. Here are the removed story beats:  - A more in depth study on the fact that queen Madeleine is fit to rule, but is only temporarily doing so, until prince Nicholas his coronation. - The entire inquisition scene and consequently, the boys and Julie breaking Luke out of jail. - A glance at the future where Jules and Luke are now a travelling singing duo. - Julie asking Luke how Caleb knew who she was. He just described her that well. - She has Luke’s pen with her when they flee and mould it into rings. It’s not real gold, but that’s okay. - More Reggie!

i’ve got this crazy feeling this isn’t our first time around I was writing a high school!Juke story that was so meandering and I just got frustrated with how bad it was, that I decided to let shit hit the fan and write something absolutely insane - hence, this story. The first chapter was written in about two hours and I began outlining afterwards.   Through the comments, I let the worldbuilding keep growing. A lot of people asked insightful questions that challenged me and made me want to think and write bigger. It was the first time that really happened and it was a great experience.  The colour symbolism in earlier chapters were subconscious foreshadowing for MYSELF about how the story would evolve. I just fucking love colour lmao. Now people talk about purple as if it’s truly a deity.  Their final moments together were revised about seven times and it’s still not perfect, but I really needed each second to count.  

your heart is open (i see what’s inside) I was knees deep in theatre history and exams stress and that mixture created this short, yet somehow, well-received story. I just wanted to create a scene that could easily be seen onstage, some Samuel Beckett-type play.

such a cruel love (loving you) Once again, annoyed by my own writing and needing to revert back to my bread and butter: angst. I was rereading my first break-up fic that’s essentially the same story, but over an extended period of time. Though one of my favourites, I found there was a lack of maturity and wanted to delve deeper in what it means to love someone, if loving is enough, how much you can excuse bad behaviour, if memories hold any value, et cetera. Because of that deep dive, it became a very condensed story over a short period of time and I love that.      I let them stay together in the end for the sake of catharsis, but I really struggled with that. It was three am and I was buzzing on five coffees and I was ready to just let them stay broken up. I genuinely wanted to end angst with MORE angst. (And then I remembered how certain people would be so fucking mad with me if I did lmao.) In real life, that’s likely what would’ve happened though.     

you’re the calm in the storm If you follow me, you sometimes see random enraged posts with zero context. I’m angry a lot, which made me wonder what it would be like if it truly hindered someone. I got sucked into research and naturally, I decide to write a story. Aka: Julie dealing with IED and her romantic feelings towards Luke. More colour symbolism, but developed! They aren’t ‘opposites’ or entirely the same, nor did I want to romanticise ‘fixing your partner with love’, so I made them complementary. They compliment each other. I think that’s a nice way of seeing it.  Carrie was supposed to have the pseudonym of ‘Candy’, to protect her famous father from being revealed as a douchebag! It was eventually inconsequential to plot and I kept her name as normal. It was supposed to be this little thing in the end where Julie and Luke spot a magazine stand and the headline is Carrie’s face saying she’s emancipated.   This is the story I was most frightened to post - ever. I’m not neurodivergent and I was petrified to offend an entire community with unintended ignorance. Literally sweating, heart palpitating, the works.     

If you have any more questions about these stories (or the others!), then don’t be afraid to ask! 

[lovecre]

first meetings - edemasu

the first thing masumi ever said to eden was “get out of the way.”

eden was walking down veludo way, luggage in hand, when he was pushed out of the way by a dark-haired boy around his age. the first thing eden noticed about the boy was his face. he had pretty purple eyes, with a beauty mark near his mouth.

his train of thought was shattered when the boy glared at him and snapped at him to get out of the way though. the boy hurried off, not even giving eden a chance to reply.

eden stood there, stunned by the boy’s rudeness. he shook his head trying to not let it get to him. it still stung a bit, but he wasn’t the same kid who would cry at everything.

he kept walking, until he came across his destination. “mankai company. this should be the place.” he muttered to himself. he approached the doors to the theatre dorm, knocking hesitantly.

“excuse me?” he called. “is izumi tachibana there?”

there was a hushed chatter from behind the door, and a tall, brown-haired woman opened the door with a smile. “eden! you’re here!”

he smiled at his older sister. “hi, thank you so much for letting me stay here.”

“of course, of course, come in!” she gestured for her brother to come in. “misumi, can you help eden with his luggage?” she called over her shoulder.

“yeah!” came the enthusiastic reply from an athletic-looking boy. he picked up eden’s bags with ease, and happily rambled about how his luggage had triangles on it.

a pretty man with white hair approached eden with a welcoming smile. “you must be my new roommate, i assume? i’m azuma, it’s lovely to meet you.”

“oh, um, thank you! it’s nice to see- meet you, too!” eden stammered. he always was weak to beautiful faces.

“come on, masumi, you have to greet the director’s brother!” a round-faced, dark pink-haired boy dragged someone familiar into the living room.

“you!” eden stared at the rude boy from before.

“oh, you two…know each other?” izumi asked.

“kind of.” eden stared daggers at masumi. masumi looked away, glaring at the carpet.

izumi, sensing something was wrong, clapped her hands and changed the subject. “um, anyway, i’m making curry for dinner, if anyone’s hungry!”

another boy behind eden groaned dramatically. “that’s the third time we’ve had curry this week!” eden turned around to see a brown haired boy (who, by the way, was wearing the most tacky outfit eden had ever seen,) with a frustrated look on his face.

“well, banri, would you rather make dinner for the whole troupe?” izumi countered.

“pff, i could do it, easy. i just don’t want to.” banri scoffed.

“i’ll make dinner!” another man poked his head through the door. (just how many people were in this dorm, eden wondered?) the man had short, dark brown hair and a scarred face. “really, izumi, i don’t mind. does anyone have requests?”

“i’ll eat your curry.” masumi gazed at izumi, obviously lovesick. “i’ll eat anything you give me.”

eden felt sick. this rude boy was crushing on his big sister? (who, by the way, was way too old for him.) “ah, i’m not very hungry, but thank you for the offer.” he said quietly.

izumi turned around to eden, brows furrowed. she knew that he was usually raring to go for a good meal. “are you alright?”

“just tired from the trip here. i think i’ll go to bed early and get ready to help out with the theatre tomorrow.” he assured her.

izumi frowned. “well, alright… masumi, can you show him to his room? he’s sharing rooms with azuma.”

“but i want to stay with you.” masumi looked like a kicked puppy.

“well, eden needs to get to his room. so help him out, would you?”

“i guess…” masumi sulkily turned around to walk out of the room, motioning for eden to follow him.

“gee, thanks.” eden muttered under his breath.

the walk to the room was completely silent. eden could feel the tension in the air. really, just what in the world had he done to this boy to make him hate him so much?

once they had made it, masumi stalked off, obviously in a bad mood. eden sighed. already off to a bad start.

the next morning, eden was sent to sort out paperwork in the mankai office for the next spring troupe play. the troupe that masumi was in. honestly, how did everything end up tying back to this boy? he sighed to himself. he was sighing a lot nowadays, he found.

the door to the office busted open, making him jump in surprise.

“izumi, i made—“ it was masumi. as soon as he and eden locked eyes, he stopped short. “you’re not izumi.”

“yeah, sorry.” eden had meant for it to sound sarcastic, but it came out more genuine than he had intended.

masumi’s expression darkened. he plopped a bento box, presumably for izumi, on the desk. “don’t touch this, it’s for izumi.” he went to walk out the door and paused. “don’t get to close to her just because you’re her brother.” he added, and slammed the door closed,

eden stared at the door. what? no, seriously, WHAT? this boy was out of his damn mind.

after he proved to be terrible with paperwork, (his attention span was just too short) he was assigned to help the actors with their roles for the next two weeks.

most of the spring troupe members were fairly civil, doing their best for their roles, (chikage was… a bit difficult at first. probably because eden kept mentally laughing at his hair and couldn’t focus.) except masumi. he refused to listen to eden simply because he wasn’t izumi.

“masumi, come on, please just rehearse your lines.” eden begged masumi. “this is going nowhere, i can’t go get izumi because she has a job, too.”

“don’t care.” masumi refused to even look at eden.

eden took a shaky breath. he was so frustrated he was near tears at this point. he couldn’t cry, especially not in front of this boy. he couldn’t show weakness.

“please,” he managed. “tell me.” he squeezed his eyes shut, willing the tears to go away. “what the hell did i ever do to you to have you hate me this much?”

masumi finally looked up. his eyes were wide. “are you… crying?” he asked.

“NO!” eden blurted out. “i’m not… crying. just answer the question. please.”

masumi frowned. “i’m not telling you. i want to talk to izumi, not you.”

that was it. eden turned away from masumi quickly so he couldn’t see his ugly crying. “i’m leaving.” he choked out, quickly walking out of the room.

“what—“

eden didn’t give him a chance to finish, shutting the door in his face. he kept his head hung low, practically running to his room. a couple of troupe members tried to stop him on the way, but he ignored them. he couldn’t let anyone see him cry.

he slammed the door. thankfully azuma wasn’t there, as he was out shopping with sakuya.

he hunched over on the sofa he was sleeping on, (they hadn’t installed another bed yet) quietly trying to force himself not to cry.

after a few hours, he found himself waking up, still in his day clothes in the sofa. it was dark outside. he must have fallen asleep while crying. he sat up groggily. he was hungry, really hungry. he wandered into the kitchen, trying to be as silent as possible. he reached into the fridge to make a sandwich or something, when a voice startled him from behind.

“what are you doing?”

eden froze. he stood up, not facing masumi. “getting food.” he answered curtly.

“in the middle of the night?” masumi asked skeptically.

“so?” eden still wouldn’t face him. “what are you doing up?”

“…” masumi didn’t answer.

eden kept making his sandwich in silence.

“sorry.” masumi suddenly said.

eden turned to look at him. “sorry?” he repeated.

“for… you know. making you cry.” masumi looked uncomfortable. “uh… izumi told me to apologize to you. so. there.”

of course. of course he didn’t come to apologize on his own. of course izumi had to tell him.

“it’s whatever.” eden turned away again. he took a deep breath, and reached into his pocket for his phone. he put on some cheap earbuds and unpaused one of his playlists.

“you listen to that artist too?” masumi spoke up.

“…yeah, why?” eden paused the music.

“uh…nothing, i just noticed is all.” masumi mumbled, turning his gaze to the floor.

“…do you want to listen together?” eden questioned.

masumi’s eyes widened. “you’d be okay with that?”

“sure.” eden walked over to the couch and patted the seat next to him, holding out an earbud.

masumi hesitantly sat next to him, taking the earbud out of his hand.

the two sat quietly for a few minutes, letting the music play.

“this ones my favorite,” eden finally said.

“mine too.” masumi had the faintest hint of a smile on his face.

the duo went quiet again.

“what’s your favorite candy?” eden asked.

“i like grape flavored things.” masumi mumbled. “i also like chocolate.”

“i like chocolate too, but who doesn’t, really?” eden mused. “i also like strawberry flavored things. and peach.”

masumi started to smile again. “peach? gross.”

“hey.” eden gently elbowed him. “peaches are great, i won’t stand for this slander.”

“i’ll slander them all i want, peaches suck.”

the two spent a while going back and forth, asking the other’s favorite food, color, animal, and so on.

eventually, eden fell asleep on masumi’s shoulder. masumi let him stay there.

as eden slept, masumi reflected on what had transpired during the past few hours. izumi never asked him what his favorite things were. it felt nice to be asked these things. he liked sharing music with eden, too. izumi never shared music with him.

eden did, though. maybe eden was okay. better than he thought, at least.

maybe he would get a peach candy for him the next time he was out at the store.

maybe.

TAGLIST: @sealovinq @catake @nyaing @honeycombscereal

[artificialqueens]

The Blue Neighborhood Series: SUBURBIA (Group) - Mac

AN: A million and one thanks to everyone who has been here for this journey, I cannot thank you enough for your support and comments and love. I’m so thankful to have you guys and I hope this last chapter lives up to your expectations.

All my love to Meggie for betaing. All my love to Alex who made me actually start writing this series a year ago. All my love to Barbie for letting me bounce ideas off of her.

All my love to you all reading this. <3

Summary: The girls of the Blue Neighborhood grew up together. Playing in the streets, trading secrets, and falling in love.

And maybe, just maybe, they can forgive each other.

Rock bit back a smile as she heard footsteps bounding up the stairs to the prop room.

A week ago she would have scuttled into the far corner and hid until the person left, but now, as Aiden’s flushed face appeared in the doorway, Rock felt only a trace of nervousness.

“What’s up, bitch?” Aiden said by way of greeting.

Rock rolled her eyes, but patted the cool stone floor beside her, motioning for the other girl to sit. Aiden took her spot silently, the two falling into a sort of semi-comfort that they had developed over the past weeks.

Rock pulled out her phone, instinctively tapping through the screen to pull up the next episode of Sailor Moon.

She felt rather than heard Aiden’s complaint from beside her. “We are not watching this garbage again,” the dark-haired girl said, making a grab for the phone in Rock’s hand. But Rock had been anticipating this, and snatched her hand away in the nick of time, ratcheting up the volume a few notches to drown out Aiden’s groan of defeat.

“You were the one who busted up into my lunch spot. You can either bite your tongue or find another place to hide from everyone who’s pissed at you,” Rock retorted. “Also, don’t pretend you don’t like it, I see the way you look at Neptune, you fucking lesbian.”

Aiden rolled her eyes, but the corner of her mouth twitched up. “First of all, you’re a bitch. Second of all, shut up.”

Rock smirked. “I don’t hear you denying it.”

Aiden waved her hand dismissively. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, just play the damn show so I don’t have to hear you talk anymore.”

Rock smiled smugly to herself, pressing play and sinking back against the cold brick wall, Aiden’s warm presence heavy at her side.

The two watched in relative silence, save for Rock’s occasional need to info dump about a particular scene or character. Aiden rolled her eyes and gave her biting comments, but Rock could tell she appreciated the attention not being on her.

Ever since Aiden had been outed as the person behind the drama account, she had sunk even more into the background. Where before she would pipe in with snark and wit, now she sat back in silence, letting herself practically disappear in the horde.

Rock understood the feeling in a way.

Maybe that’s why they seemed to get along.

Aiden had stumbled up to the prop room one day, seeking asylum from her mistakes, and Rock had let her.

But questions still ate at her, bit at the tension in the air around them as they continued to watch in silence. Rock could feel them steadily bubbling to the surface, tempting her to ruin the peace she and Aiden had found.

She bit the bullet, pressing pause, noticing her breathing was coming out harsher than before.

“Why’d you do it?” she asked.

The question hung still in the air for a long while, so long that Rock nearly looked up to see if Aiden was still sitting beside her.

The older girl sighed, long and low. “You promised you wouldn’t bring it up.”

“Yeah.” Rock nodded, turning to meet Aiden’s eyes. “I lied.”

Aiden broke the contact, putting her head in her hands and letting out a shaky exhale. Rock expected her to leave, to lash out and storm away.

But Aiden just breathed in and out once more before lifting her head, staring at the stone floor intently. “My parents got divorced the summer before freshman year,” she said slowly, as if testing out the words on her tongue. “It came out of nowhere. There were no big fights or warning signs, just… divorce. And Mom never said why.”

Rock saw the other girl’s features soften the tiniest bit before harsh lines replaced them.

“We were happy. A happy, normal family. We played board games and went on camping trips and spent hours staring up at the clouds.” Aiden bit her lip harshly. “It came out of nowhere.”

She took a steadying breath before speaking again. “And then my dad got real sick. Couldn’t be on his own so he moved back in. And I couldn’t—” Aiden shook her head. “I didn’t know how to be there… in that house.”

“Everyday I would come back from school and I’d have lost a little more of him,” she practically whispered, voice suddenly hoarse and grating. “Mom did her best, caring for a man she didn’t love anymore, but she worked, and I went to school and… and… and we weren’t there for him.”

There was a beat of silence before Aiden spoke again. “I didn’t go home the week after he died. I slept in the theatre seats down there, showered in the locker rooms. Fuck.”

Rock didn’t know what to say, couldn’t imagine the pain and suffering that lived inside this girl she had known for so long.

Aiden’s expression hardened, but she still refused to look up from where her eyes were fixed on the floor. “That week I started noticing stuff. People doing shit they weren’t supposed to, shit that didn’t make sense.”

“The account wasn’t supposed to be anything serious, just a place to post dumb shit about the people who were dicks to me.”

Aiden finally turned to meet Rock’s gaze, her eyes wide and helpless. “I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand, but all of a sudden people found it, and were sending the account other stuff. Confessions, kinks, teacher-student relationships and I-I didn’t know what to do.”

“And then I saw Gigi and Jaida,” Aiden exhaled shakily.

“And I remembered how hurt Crystal had been all those years ago, how hurt she still was about the whole thing. And I tried to bring it up to her, but she shot me down. And I tried to let it go, I really did.  But they just kept hooking up, and they weren’t even being secretive about it. And after three fucking years of hurting Crystal, I thought they deserved a little bit of shit for what they did.”

“So you posted the picture.” Rock nodded.

“Yeah.” Aiden sighed.

Rock took a deep breath in and out. “I didn’t know that, about your dad.”

“I didn’t tell anyone.” Aiden shook her head. “I didn’t want the pity. I didn’t want people… looking after me. It didn’t feel right since I didn’t-I couldn’t look after him.”

Rock nodded. “That all must have been…” She paused. “Really overwhelming,” she said lightly, placing a gentle hand on Aiden’s shoulder.

Aiden scoffed, shrugging off Rock’s affection. “Why are you saying it like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you…” Aiden floundered, “I dunno, understand. Like you’re not mad.”

Rock shook her head. “Oh, I’m mad,” she assured.

Aiden looked down to her fingers, toying with the laces of her shoes.

“But I get why you did it.”

Aiden shook her head, words coming out in a desperate whisper. “I’m not sure I do.”

“You want answers.” Rock shrugged. “That’s all any of us want. You want to know why your parents divorced, you want to know why people lie, you want to know how someone could cheat on someone else.”

Aiden looked up to meet Rock’s eyes, the first look of genuine vulnerability passing between them.

“You don’t get to know.” Rock smiled sadly. “You gotta suck it up like the rest of us and get comfortable with not knowing.”

Aiden’s gaze darted away, breaking eye contact again, but Rock didn’t stop. “You don’t get to make up a narrative and force other people to fit it. You wanna be emo and angsty and upset at the world, fine, you do that, but you don’t get to ruin other people’s lives just because you got dealt a shit hand in life.”

“Tough talk for a bitch hiding in a prop room,” Aiden snapped.

Rock chuckled. That’s the Aiden she knew. “In case it escaped your notice, you’re also up here hiding, dumbass.”

Aiden looked at Rock hard, walls up, defenses primed, ready to attack.

But then she laughed.

Really, genuinely laughed.

And she didn’t stop.

She didn’t stop until tears started streaming down her face, and she was hiccuping around sobs she desperately tried to fight off.

And Rock held her through it.

…

Brita couldn’t help a smile as she made her way down the hallway and through the open doors to the art room. She was met with a chorus of greetings that still managed to make her stomach flip.

She took up her usual seat next to Heidi, and the two began to trade the entirety of their respective lunches. They fell into easy conversation, as the couples on either side of the room were too absorbed in each other to pay them any mind.

Brita watched them out of the corner of her eye, blaming it on curiosity.  

Nicky and Crystal sat next to each other, smiling ear to ear and occasionally feeding each other bites of food like lovesick idiots.

“They’re so gross,” Heidi groaned from beside her.

The two girls in question whipped around to glare at her.

“I miss when you were both too gay to talk to each other. Can we go back to that? I miss that.” Heidi whined, stabbing at the pasta Brita brought with a fork.

Crystal raised a challenging brow at Heidi, and without breaking eye contact, which was a feat in and of itself, pulled Nicky in for an overly loud kiss.

Heidi scowled. “I hate y’all.”  

Brita laughed at the pair, but as their kiss became more heated, she turned her head, hoping to conceal the flush that ran the length of her neck.

She shook her head to clear it, mind suddenly muddled as she tried to piece together the feelings welling up inside her at such a public display. Her eyes flitted around the room, latching on to anything that could keep her attention.

She saw Gigi, who was perched on one of the tables, elbows resting atop her knees, head in her hands as Jackie rambled on about something to do with a new congresswoman who was ‘changing the political game.’

They seemed… comfortable. At ease around each other in a way that wasn’t unexpected, they had known each other their whole lives, yet Brita was still shocked when they announced they were dating. But now, looking at the two sharing gentle smiles over their respective lunches, Brita didn’t know why she never put the two together before. The pair was well-matched. Their quiet intimacy seeped into their conversation, gentle giggles erupting every so often from their side of the room.

Brita again found herself oddly entranced.

Was that what it was like to love a woman?

Was it always so… tender?

Nausea filled the pit in her gut, and she turned away from the happy couple.

Internalized Homophobia.

She had read about it on the internet. Hadn’t batted her eye at the definition the first time, but now it seemed to be coming back to her.

It didn’t feel good, not at all. Confronting that about herself. Seeing such blatant representation of something she had learned to bury so long ago.

But it wasn’t impossible.

She knew that to get to the bottom of this… whatever it was she was feeling, she had to confront it head on. She had to understand where it came from and why it seemed to hurt her so much.

These girls, these couples moreover, were showing her that it didn’t have to be so hard. That there was a chance for happiness, unabashed joy even. Love.

And that, funnily enough, gave her hope.

Heidi chuckled from beside her, noticing her red face. “You sure you don’t like girls, Miss Filter?”

It took everything in her not to flinch.

Instead, Brita simply shrugged.

And she counted that a victory.

…

Widow started as she nearly ran headfirst into a lanky brunette.

Before she could so much as say something, the figure had bolted toward the school building. Widow just watched him go, an amused smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth. As she rounded the sports shed, she overheard her friend’s voice clear and brash as always.

“Matthews only cares if your paper’s in fucking English, doesn’t matter the content.”

A short blonde girl rolled her eyes pointedly and went to say something, but Dahlia stopped her with a hand. “You know the rules yeah? Change the first and last word for each paragraph.”

The girl nodded.

Dahlia pulled out a handful of loose papers and held them out to the freshman, who grabbed them wordlessly. “Now get lost.”

Widow smiled as the young kid scampered off.  

“You really should charge them more,” she called out.

Dahlia started at the sound of another voice, but relaxed as she identified the source.

She smirked, shrugging. “Consider it a donation to charity.”

“I dunno if you can count having half the freshman class cheat off of you for tax write-offs.”

Dahlia chuckled.

“You ‘bout done here?” Widow asked, gesturing to the makeshift office Dahlia had set up.

The younger girl nodded, throwing papers haphazardly into her open backpack.

Widow looked around, the breeze ruffling her curls and sending a shiver down her spine. “Yeah, let’s get outta here, this place gives me the creeps.”

“You think this place is bad, you should see the old greenhouse. That shit’s fuckin’ haunted, man.” Dahlia shook her head.

Widow’s eyes lit up. “The WHAT?”

Dahlia turned to stare wide eyed at her. “You serious? You ain’t ever gone by it?”

Widow shook her head dumbly.

Dahlia chuckled, flinging her backpack over her shoulder.

“Lead the way, bitch.” Widow smiled.

They walked for only ten minutes, past the baseball field and through the line of trees that bordered the athletic quad. Through a patch of thick brush they came to a small clearing. An old greenhouse stood practically tethered to the surrounding vegetation, only because of the fading light reflecting against the frosted glass could Widow even make out the corners of the structure.

Before they could so much as stop, Widow was excitedly pulling her camera out of her school bag, fiddling with the aperture until she got the lighting perfect on the small screen in front of her.

Dahlia rolled her eyes fondly, allowing her friend to stalk around the building, snapping endless pictures, mumbling about shutter speed and light refraction. It was only a matter of time, and a few pleading words from Widow, before Dahlia found herself posing next to the greenhouse.

“I regret this already,” she groaned but allowed Widow to pose her in various absurd positions, all of which felt incredibly awkward, yet came out stunning.

The two girls ventured into the structure, finding the inside just as overgrown and sprawling as the outside. It felt much bigger on the inside, wooden tables covered in pots lined the walls, leaving only a center plot of ground to walk, but the walls were massive, green tint to the window panes making the ceiling appear vaulted.

“This place is gorgeous, oh my god!” Widow exclaimed, practically jumping up and down in excitement. She whipped around to face Dahlia, eyes alight with her signature mischief. “Oh my god, D, we could totally give this place a makeover.”

Dahlia went to protest, because really? But Widow started talking a mile a minute before she could get a word in.

“Just move that plant over there and that table against the far wall, and we could probably fit a couch in here if we turned it sideways. My dad has this old one in the basement that we don’t use. We could get Jaida’s truck and haul it here. And I know Crystal would fucking love to paint in this place. Not to mention we could totally smoke here without getting caught. And—”

Dahlia finally butted in. “What do I look like? Fuckin’ HGTV?”

Widow rolled her eyes, turning to face her friend, the plea evident in her tone. “This place could be a really bangin spot, D,” she implored. “Plus, with it gettin cold an’ all, we’ve got fuck all to do.”

Dahlia sighed. “Remind me why we’re friends.” Even as she said it, Dahlia couldn’t keep the smile from creeping up the sides of her face.

“Because you love me.” Widow whined, pulling Dahlia closer, and peppering kisses against the side of her face.

Dahlia pushed her off gently, miming vomiting, and Widow just laughed.

The two cleared off a bit of the tables, each setting up across from each other. They fell into a comfortable silence, inhaling and exhaling the late autumn breeze, watching as their breath danced in the air.

“You talked to Gigi?” Widow finally asked, shattering their peaceful silence.

Dahlia sighed, long and low. “Yeah.” She nodded slowly. “Said I was sorry about the stuff at the party. I didn’t know… I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. I had no clue.”

“None of us did.”

“Yeah, but it was kinda my fault in the first place.”

Widow shrugged. “It woulda come out one way or another.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Dahlia bit her lip, refusing to meet Widow’s eyes.

“But?”

“But, I still gotta talk to Jan.”

Widow sighed, but nodded her head knowingly. “Yeah, you do,” she agreed.

“I just don’t know how the fuck to go about it.”

Widow scoffed. “Maybe start with ‘I’m sorry.’”

“Yeah, yeah I know.” Dahlia groaned, letting her head drop into her open hands. “Fuck, man. I really messed up.”

“You knew that when you fell for another girl’s boyfriend,” Widow replied.

“Yeah, but it just got so complicated.”

Widow nodded, smiling sadly. “That’s life for ya. Doesn’t mean you don’t do the right thing.”

Dahlia nodded into her hands, breathing in and out slowly. When she finally looked up to meet Widow’s eyes, she nodded. “She and Bryce broke up.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he told me last week. I didn’t know how to feel.”

There was a pause. “How do you feel?” Widow asked.

Dahlia looked at her for a moment, mind everywhere and nowhere at the same time. “I dunno. I thought I’d be… happy? I guess. But I just feel… nothing.”

Widow nodded. “Well, hey, if you’re ever feeling down, just know that Joe asks me at least once a month if you’d join us for a threesome.”

Dahlia laughed, even though she hadn’t wanted to. “I’ve still got it,” she joked.

Widow rolled her eyes playfully. “You’ve always had it, bitch. You just been wastin’ it on guys you couldn’t have.”

“Yeah yeah, all right, who are you, my therapist?”

Widow suddenly got very serious, her voice grave. “Don’t even joke about that. That’s fuckin’ terrifying.”

“Hey!” Dahlia yelled, flinging a handful of dirt at her friend.

Widow held up her hands in surrender. “Your mind is a scary place, D.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

…

Heidi looked up as the door to the house across the street opened and closed, revealing an exhausted looking Jaida.

The All-Star player exhaled loudly, leaning against her front door. When she opened her eyes, she saw Heidi and had the decency to look embarrassed.

Heidi just smiled knowingly. “You too?”

The tension in Jaida’s shoulders dissipated as she recognized Heidi’s meaning. “Dude,” she exhaled, shaking her head.

“I know.” Heidi chuckled.

“It’s like… they don’t know how to act like people.”

“I know!” Heidi agreed. “What’s with that?”

“The fuck if I know.” Jaida smiled warmly.

“Promise me if I ever get old and start acting like that you’ll just shoot me in the head.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” Jaida chuckled.

“Hey!” Heidi scoffed, waving the bowl she had around animatedly.

Jaida just laughed, easy and light.

“Whatcha got there?” She motioned to the Tupperware in Heidi’s hands.

A mischievous smile broke out across Heidi’s face. “Banana pudding,” she winked. “Best you’ve ever had, I guarantee.”

Jaida’s eyes lit up and she raised a brow inquisitively at the dish.

“Go grab a few spoons and you can try some.” Heidi nodded.

“A few?”

“If you think we the only ones with crazy family on Thanksgiving, you got another thing comin’.”

As if on cue, the door to Jackie’s house banged open, the aforementioned girl storming out the door and into the street, breathing harshly. Heidi could feel the anger and hurt rolling off her in waves, and felt sympathy well up inside her. She knew Jackie’s family was rough, they’d been especially difficult the past month with her relationship with Gigi coming to light.

Heidi didn’t think twice about waving her over with a sweeping gesture.

“Hey, guys,” Jackie exhaled, the lines beside her face appearing deeper than they had a few days ago.

The two gave her sympathetic looks.

Heidi clocked the moment Jackie noticed the dish in her hands, her eyes widening a fraction. Heidi patted the ground beside her. “Jaida’s gonna go grab spoons.”

Jaida rolled her eyes but made her way back into the house.

Just then, Nicky’s door opened and the French beauty made her way outside, lighting a cigarette like a reflex as she noticed the girls. She waltzed over to them, smiling all the while. “I thought the point of this holiday was that you were supposed to spend time with your family.”

Before either of them could answer, Crystal’s door banged open.

“Nicky, that better not be what I think it is!”

Nicky’s eyes went wide and she quickly doused her cigarette with her shoe. The french beauty turned on her heel, offering a wide and not at all suspicious smile to her girlfriend. “Ma préféré! I do not know what you mean.”

Crystal raised a challenging eyebrow as she made her way over to the three girls. She surveyed the two on the ground, who pointedly looked away, not about to get in the middle of whatever the fuck those two were on about.

“Mhmmm.” Crystal rolled her eyes.

Jaida appeared again, with several spoons and her own tray of biscuits.

Jackie got up excitedly and rushed back into her house, claiming that she had food too.

The group set up their small feast in the middle of the numerous parked cars that lined the cul de sac. Chatting animatedly about their respective family drama.

It wasn’t long before they were joined by Widow, holding a vat of green beans that her family wouldn’t eat, even though she swore they were seasoned to perfection.

Slowly, one by one, each of the houses in the cul de sac opened and closed, girls pouring out of them, some with food, others with hopeful smiles.

Gigi had bounded over to the group, arms extended with a pot of mac ‘n cheese. She had sidled up right next to Jackie, the new couple whispering in hushed voices, blush high on their cheeks.

Brita joined them not long after, an array of silverware in her hands, and plopped down with Heidi.

Next was Dahlia, with a bottle of wine in each hand.

When Jan joined the group, she looked skeptically at the bottles, but bravely took a swig from each, wincing a bit at the taste.

At some point Rock had snuck into the circle, her occasional odd comment taking the group off guard at the suddenness of her appearance.

The comfortable conversation slowly petered out when Aiden arrived.

The black-haired girl gave a weak smile, gesturing down to the pot in her hands. “I brought stuffing,” she spoke softly.

There was silence.

The group stared at her, and Aiden stared back

The silence went on, each girl’s eyes flitting about the circle, unwilling to be the first to speak.

Until, Rock bit the bullet. “Thank god someone here knows what real Thanksgiving food is!”

There was another beat of silence.

And then conversations resumed.

Slowly at first.

The tension was still there, Aiden wasn’t forgiven, but the tense atmosphere eased a bit as the black-haired girl took up a seat on the outskirts of the group next to Rock, placing her dish in the middle of the circle.

Heidi surveyed the scene, smiling at the sight. A mixture of voices bubbled up from all sides as the girls fell into new, comfortable conversations.

She marveled at the fading color of the trees, signaling the change of season, and the coming winter. As she glanced back over to the group of girls gathered in the center of the street, head clouded, heart full, the only emotion she could pinpoint was hope.

Hope that the girls of the Blue Neighborhood had what it took to tackle the rest of their senior year.

[amerrierworld]

Curtain. (ii)

Carol (2015) fanfiction

Pt 1: x

Word Count: 1,874

Warnings: Swearing, but that’s it.

June - three days earlier

"We need to have any photos before the start of the run, so you have until next week to finish them. Can you do that?"

"Of course, Miss Gerhard."

"Oh, please, call me Abby. Dannie did say you were too polite for your own good. I don't bite, you know."

Therese blushed and glanced down, fiddling with the buttons on her camera as Abby led her backstage. The stage manager gave her a quick tour, and Therese scanned the premises, looking for the best angles to see the stage from the wings. The seats were empty and the lights were dim, focusing on the minimalistic set of a living room as the backdrop of the show.

"Anyways, it's an early preview so there'll probably be loads of kinks to work through as the show progresses tonight, and knowing our director, she'll probably pause the show a lot. You have free range of backstage and the seats to do as you please. The last photographer we worked with during rehearsal only showed up with blurry photos, which sent the PR team into a fit."

Therese was testing out her camera on stage, moving from the wings to the front seats as Abby gestured around. There were few workers around, cleaning and preparing for the preview of the theatre's production of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

"So! All we're asking for is some good photos of our lovely actors, the stage, and whatever tickles your fancy. It's a small show and we need all the promotion we can get," Abby continued. Therese nodded, chewing the inside of her cheek as she glanced around the theatre, taking note of the lights and seats.

After agreeing on her deadline and payment, Abby was typing in her theatre contact in Therese's phone in case anything came up, and the young photographer was quick to hurry out of the theatre, bustling with excitement for her job later that day.

-

August

"Cheers to finally being done!" Dannie exclaimed dramatically, popping open the bottle of champagne.

"Oh, stop it Dannie! I've been crying since the curtain call," Gen scolded him, whacking his arm with her purse. The actress was dressed impeccably, a silk silver dress draped around her voluptuous frame like she came straight from the silver screen. Therese felt inadequate with her simple green turtleneck and black dress pants.

"Seriously though folks. Congratulations on an incredible run," Dannie said. "I almost cried this time around. Almost."

"You sound just like old bat Gerhard, y'know," Richard stepped in, who was sitting across from Therese with a wide, arrogant posture and his arm slung over Gen's shoulders possessively. "I swear that lady has a stick the size of a tree trunk up her fuckin ass."

"Maybe she wouldn't be so uptight if someone just hit his marks," Gen said coldly. Richard's gaze darkened considerably, but all Gen did was sip her champagne, flicking auburn hair over her shoulder in that celebrity-style manner that Therese couldn't help but admire.

From what Dannie had told her, Gen and Richard had been on and off during the show, creating tension left and right. A classic backstage romance filled with just as much drama as the show they were in. Apparently it helped the actual tension needed during the performance, though that was really the only thing it was good for.

Closing night had been a huge success either way. Critics had raved about their electric performances, tiny hiccups going unnoticed by the audience. Therese was overjoyed to see her images in papers, on posters and on the theatre's website, her name printed in the corners of the photos. Gen had asked Dannie to bring Therese to their small celebration at the restaurant they were sitting in. She desperately wanted more female companionship after being surrounded by the likes of Dannie and Richard.

"Speaking of the fucking devil," Dannie commented, nodding his head to the front door of the small restaurant. Therese turned and caught the sight of Ms. Gerhard -no, Abby, she corrected herself- wearing a stunning jumpsuit. On her arm was a tall, familiar blonde beauty and Therese sucked in a breath as time slowed down for her while watching the two walk in.

Director Ross was dressed in a timeless black suit, bowtie and high heels, hair swept up in a sleek hairdo. The way they walked together was like watching power and confidence personified in the two women.

Therese took a sip of her water to help the blush that she felt creeping up her neck.

"Ah, shit, no way, why they gotta go out for dinner the same place we are?" Richard grumbled. "I really don't want to talk to them."

"Nonsense! They deserve just as much praise as we do," Gen snapped. She stood up from her seat and waved at Abby, who caught sight of the actress easily. Gen always had a way of commanding the room whenever she felt like it.

Therese felt her excitement plummet as she noted that only Abby was approaching their table. The blonde stayed back in their booth, shrugging off her blazer, revealing a crisp white button down that made Therese squirm.

"Fancy seeing you lot here," Abby said, leaning on their table. "Celebrating, I assume?"

Dannie held up the champagne and grinned. "You got that right, boss."

Therese kept her eyes fixed on her glass, afraid that by looking at Abby her gaze would give her away. Were the two a couple? No, of course not. They  were coworkers. Nothing more, right?

"Well I saw Gen and just wanted to come over and congratulate you guys. It was a terrific run, despite everything," with a pointed look at Richard, "so you deserve a well-earned night out."

The other three all responded to Abby with some sort of thanks and Therese forced herself to look up at her and smile. Her eyes were met steadily by the brunette, and though the gaze was firm, Abby smiled nonetheless.

"Good to see you again, Therese. A wonderful job on those photos, by the way."

Therese smiled, beaming proudly. "It was an honour, Abby."

What the fuck? An honour? Am I even saying coherent things? Therese tried to keep herself nonchalant and cool, though a prickling sensation on the back of her neck made her flustered. She looked around and found a pair of deep blue eyes staring back at her from the booth across the restaurant. Ross was looking at her intently, fingers grasping a martini glass. Therese felt her mouth go dry.

"I best get back, enjoy your night," Abby said and with that walked away. Therese lost contact with the blonde's eyes as Abby got back to their booth, their sudden and immediate chemistry forgotten.

Reminding herself to breathe, she tried tuning into Dannie arguing with Richard over some theatre related technicality, and she was filled with the sudden and desperate urge to abandon the three and run over to Abby and the director to hide away, just to get to know this Ross lady better.

"But hey, Terry, you're gonna come back to the theatre soon right? With your pictures and all that?" Richard's annoying voice brought her back to reality.

"Oh, I don't know," she shifted uncomfortably. "I've got a different job starting next week, so photography might be on hold for me for a while."

She chewed her lip, not wanting to say anything else. She had nothing against Dannie or Gen, but after her and Richard had broken up she tried to avoid talking to him as much as possible. In group settings, she was fine, and with their intimate circle of friends it was hard to avoid him so she didn't mind putting up with him.

But no, this job was hers. Not Richard's, Dannie's, Gen's. It was a step into a different direction for herself. And even though she told herself it was more for the pay, she couldn't help but be excited about the kids she was going to meet.

Dannie shifted the conversation to some lewd story from a theatre when he had been just starting out and Therese felt she could breathe again.

-

"Who is that girl sitting next to Dannie?"

"Therese? Oh, she was the photographer we had in just before the run, don't you remember?"

"Hmm right. I thought she seemed familiar," Carol sipped her martini slowly, eyes darting over to the petite brunette again.

"Stop it," Abby scolded.

"Stop what? I'm just getting a good look. It's been a long time since I've seen her."

"Whatever you're thinking of, Ross, you better cap it. I'll have you know she's a terrific photographer and I want to hire her again, though I won't be able to do that if my artistic director decides to... involve herself."

Carol smirked but backed down, leaning back against the seat and glancing out at the dark street, illuminated by hazy lights dancing in the fog that had spread over the city.

"You all set for September?" Abby asked. Carol's smile disappeared, her fantasies of the brunette forgotten as she looked at the year ahead.

"I have no idea, Abby. I haven't had Rindy for a full month since, well, since this whole mess started. Plus it's the beginning of the school year for her, you know how anxious that can make her."

"And you. You're always a mess when those things start up."

"Hush. At least the first week is cleared up for me, I can relax and take Rindy to school, pick her up, make her meals..."

Carol drifted off again in her non-working, stay at home mom dream that was finally happening in just over a week. Her and her daughter together without a show, without court, without fights... Bliss, she thought.

"You haven't forgotten our meeting with Jeanette though, right?" Abby asked cautiously, brows furrowing. Carol's head snapped up.

"What?"

"The meeting to finalize that you're stepping away from the theatre? C'mon, Carol."

"Oh, god, I'm so sorry Abs. I genuinely forgot." Carol whipped out her phone and hastily looked up the email Jeanette sent them. Wednesday. 3pm. At the exact time she was meant to pick up Rindy, she'd be on the other side of the city.

"Fuck," Carol groaned. "I guess I gotta get a sitter for Rindy then." God, she couldn't wait to be done work.

"Do they not have an after school program at Rindy's school? Just let her hang out there and we'll pick her up once we're done. It won't be more than an hour, Carol, I don't know if it's worth getting a sitter."

"No, you're right. I'll call them tomorrow and see what they can do," Carol sighed, putting her phone away.

Suddenly feeling the urge to check, she glanced over at the party from across the room, trying to catch a glimpse of the photographer again. She was disappointed to see that only Gen and Richard were left, who were at it with their usual banter at their table while eating. Dannie and Therese had disappeared.

"Carol," Abby warned.

"I know, I know. Sorry." Carol forced herself back to the conversation. "I'm hopeless, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are, you nitwit."

A/N: Life is insane, y’all. This story stumped me for a bit, but here I am. Hope you’re all good, let me know your thoughts <3 

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

Social Media AU - Social Killing (Part 24)

We’ll be taking a little closer look at the show itself next time...and we’ll see just how Richie’s performance is recieved by the fans 👀

I know the writing for the interview is small, so I’ve put the transcript below just in case anyone needs it!

Also, yes, I am in fact a giant moron who wrote that Social Killing was a weekend-show, and have only now realized that in the interview, it says “Wednesday night” because I wrote it like a month back and forgot I put that. Please pretend that the publication in charge of the interview got the wrong day, and that it is in fact Sunday nights!

----------

Our correspondent, Vincent Lewis, sat down with the main cast of the upcoming Hulu drama “Social Killing” this afternoon to learn more about the show, as well as what drew the cast to the project and what it was like to work together.

Vince: Hello, it’s wonderful to meet you all.

Riley Andersen: Aww, it’s nice to meet you too!

Vince: I can imagine it’s been a long day of press and interviews for you all.

Richie Tozier: Too long.

Jay B: It’s been insane to be honest. It’s unlike anything any of us have ever seen, I think.

Evan Harrison: Yeah, but it’s been fun too, in a weird way.

Vince: I’ll get right to it then. First of all, congratulations to all of you on the show, it’s been receiving rave reviews all around, and it looks like it’s set to be a hit.

Jay: Thanks.

Vince: So, can you tell us a little bit about the characters you four play? No spoilers necessary, just the basic so we know who’s who!

(All four look at each other and laugh)

Richie: I mean…

Evan: Ladies first!

Riley: (laughing) Geez, you guys are mean! Okay, so I play Hailey and she’s a cheerleader at Blackwood High, where the series is set, and she’s...complicated. She isn’t the stereotypical mean cheerleader you usually see in television shows, but she’s definitely not above doing what it takes for her to stay on top.

Vince: Interesting! Gentlemen…?

Evan: Okay, so I play Blake, who’s this kind of preppy, snobbish guy who went to boarding school but has transferred to Blackwood for unknown reasons. He knows pretty much all the town’s secrets since he comes from a rich family and so he kind of has his links everywhere in town.

Jay: I play Sean, who’s this beloved teacher at the school - all the students love him since he’s not stuffy or uptight. He’s kinda the cool English teacher who’s probably smoked a spliff with all his students at some point. But he has a double life that no one knows about, and he wants it to stay that way because he’s seeking justice for something that’s happened to him in the past few years.

Richie:...Oh shit, me. I play a guy called Ted, and he’s brand new to town because he’s looking for a new start after something super tragic happened in his past. So he takes the drama teacher position that just opened up, and he starts to realize that something is kind of off about the town - which, you know, is kinda understatement of the fucking century!

Vince: So everyone’s got a secret then…

Riley: Basically none of us can be trusted, that’s what you should know.

Vince: Now obviously, Jay, you’ve been working pretty consistently in the business since you were young - you would do Canadian kids DIY shows and Québécois dubbing, is that correct?

Jay: Yeah. God, how fucking lame is that?

Vince: No, no, I used to love watching those Canadian kids shows! But since becoming an adult, you’ve done all sorts - comedy, obviously, drama, horror, animation...so what led you to “Social Killing”?

Jay: Well, I mean, my agent sent me a script and I was like ‘holy shit this could be good’; then I saw that Richie fucking Tozier was getting involved and I was like ‘okay, drop everything, I have GOT to do this damn show now’.

Vince: Did you two know each other before doing the show?

Richie: I mean, kinda. He came backstage at some of my shows a few times, and I was like ‘this guy is fucking awesome’. He’s Canadian, so that’s why.

Jay: I’m a very proud Canadian, yeah. Sorry, America, but Canada is the greatest country in the world.

Riley: America sucks right now, so don’t apologize.

Jay: But yeah, I’ve always wanted the chance to work with Richie on something since he’s one of my favourite comedians, so this was a huge opportunity for me.

Richie: And then he actually met me properly and regretted that shit.

(All of them crack up laughing)

Vince: As I understand it, Riley, you’re not entirely new to the world of show business either, because before joining the show you were a dancer.

Richie: Wait, what??

Riley: Yeah, I was. I was a professional dancer.

Jay: Jesus Christ.

Richie: A fucking PROFESSIONAL dancer?!

Riley: Oh come on, you guys knew I was a dancer!

Richie: Not professionally! I thought you just did it for a hobby, not as an actual job!

Riley: Anyway...I danced back-up for a few people, did some background dance work on movies and shows, but this is my first time acting.

Evan: And she’s incredible at it. It’s amazing.

Vince: As I understand it, Evan, you’re also brand new?

Evan: Well, this is my first big role. I did some theatre for a few years, played some gigs at bars to get by, but this is what I really want to be doing. I was so excited when I got cast that I nearly started crying - it’s a dream come true.

Riley: Aww.

Vince: Finally, Richie… You’re a fantastic stand-up comedian, I love your work, but this is your first time acting in anything. What made you want to transition from stand up to television, especially now?

Richie: Woah, yeah, I mean...yeah. (laughs) Honestly, I wanted to do something new. A lot of stuff has changed in the last few years, mostly the content of my stand-up, and I want to distance myself from that old shit as much as possible. And, you know, I’m married now, we’re expecting our first kid soon, so it’s all super serious and shit.

Vince: Congratulations!

Richie: Yeah, thanks! So with the show, I wanted to just...show that I could do it, I guess. Show I was more than just some shitty comedian doing misogynistic jokes that weren’t true. The writers approached me originally since they wanted some humor in the show, but...I guess they liked the other stuff I did once I was on-set.

Riley: Just for the record, I like your new stuff better.

Jay: Oh yeah, for real.

Evan: I still remember seeing the comeback show, first time you did your own material, and I was so blown away. Not just the actual material, but the way you performed and talked about your friends on-stage...it was amazing.

Richie: Thanks, man.

Vince: So, what was it like for the four of you to work together? Were there any scenes where all four of you were present?

Jay: Oh, man…

Evan: (mock dying) Spoilers. Can’t. Give. Them. Away.

Richie: Yeah, you can't see it, but in the building across the road there’s a Hulu representative with a sniper ready to take us out if they think we’ll fuck up.

Vince: Alright, alright, I get it! But what was it like working together? Fun?

Riley: Oh yeah. Definitely. These three guys are super funny and great to work with, you know? Evan would sing songs on set between takes, and we’d all have little impromptu karaoke sessions. Jay is just...really sweet but funny, he keeps quiet sometimes but he genuinely is really fun to be around; he goes nuts about hockey. Richie kept us all laughing, of course, even when we had to shoot more challenging scenes - without giving too much about the show away, there were times where we would be filming, and we’d all be feeling down or tired, and it was really hard. But Richie would keep our spirits up by making jokes, and making sure we were all hanging in there.

Evan: Yeah, Richie’s the best.

Riley: He’s a talented actor too, which is nice to work with.

Jay: Aww jeez, Riley…

Richie: You’re making us sound awesome, and we look like assholes just sitting here nodding.

Evan: To be honest, I worked more with Riley than anyone else and she really undersells herself.

Richie: Yeah. She’s actually super funny - I mean, she’s great on the show but she pulls off comedy pretty well too. I think she’d do pretty well on a comedy show or something. You know, if the show doesn’t work out. (Winks)

Riley: Coming from Trashmouth Tozier, that’s like...the most wonderful thing someone has ever said to me. Oh my god.

Vince: Well, I was going to ask what it was like, being surrounded by all male leads - obviously there are females too, but you four are the focus, and you’re the only woman.

Riley: (laughing) Shh, I don’t think- I don’t think they’ve realized I’m not a guy yet! Don’t tell them!

Jay: Nah, she’s one of the guys clearly!

Richie: Wait, you’re a WOMAN? My life has been a lie, Riley Andersen!

Riley: The blonde ponytail and cheerleading skirt didn’t give it away then.

Richie: It’s 2018, anything can happen. I’d wear a cheerleading skirt. I’m sure my husband would be up for that.

Evan: I am very jealous that Riley got to wear the skirt and I didn’t. It would have made my ass look fantastic.

Jay: I’m not sure if my fiancée would be amused or terrified by me in a cheerleading outfit. I’m like 110lbs soaking wet, so fuck knows what I’d look like.

Riley: (throwing her arms around him) Jay, no, you’d look great! Be more confident in yourself!

Richie: (in a Canadian accent) It’s his Canadian modesty, eh?

Jay: (laughing) Fuck off.

Richie: (still-Canadian-accent) Still mad you left your tuque in the washroom, eh?

Evan: Oh god.

Vince: On that note...thank you so much for meeting with me. Good luck with the show!

“Social Killing” starts 9pm on Wednesday night on Hulu.

[kachinnate]

reblogn’t, there’s nothing too triggery about this it’s just semi personal re: how one of my ex-best friends ruined lgw from b//mc for me and also just like... in the same vein the Less Discussed portion of my spring of ‘19 Traumas bc this ex-best friend out of 3 caused the least damage and therefore in my mind he got away with a lot more

i’ve just been thinkin about it a lot, idk. i don’t think i’ve ever talked about this specific thing to anyone (explicitly or in detail) and it’s bothered me for so long and i know talking about it on here fixes nothing rlly but.. idk! some kayla lore if you wanted it, mayhaps this will get deleted in like ten minutes after being posted so get it hot while you can

just for context my junior year of high school (aka the Worst One) i drove my at-the-time best friend to school every day -- we lived like a street away from each other, and he didn’t like the Bus and he wasn’t always able to take his mom’s car because we both did theatre together and therefore would be at the school for a Long Ass Time, and like... he was my friend! so i drove him to school! and.. in times like that, it was a good incentive to get myself up, too, cuz shit was lowkey rough back then and i’d feel bad if i made both of us late. 

said best friend was super into musical theatre - like, he wanted to be a musical theatre major, so he’s super well versed on like Most Musicals all the classics w/e .. snob doesn’t feel like the right word bc sometimes he genuinely Did like stuff that was simply Silly/dumb for the sake of it being Silly/dumb but it’s the closest word i can think of. i was constantly embarrassed that my favorite musical was d//eh, and to this day he still barely knows anything about it because 1. he himself didn’t listen/pay much attention to it and 2. despite it literally being my hyperfixation since like my sophomore year, i didn’t feel comfortable talking to him about it bc of what few criticisms he gave it. but he did know it was my fav, he knew that i had a Love for w/rol bc i talked abt him a lot. 

lgw was the first thing from b//mc broadway to get released - and i know like 3-4 different versions of it got released too lmao but this was like the Very First One, i’d never heard it before! i didn’t realize it’d been released until i was idling in front of his house so naturally i was like “oh bet let’s listen to it together” 

he didn’t really like b//mc either for the same reasons he didn’t like d//eh, but it was like... much less so, idk - he liked m//itb so like i figured it was indifference at best.. but regardless uh my fuckin car i’m gonna listen to it if i want to <3 also like if it was good i doubt he’d care abt what it was from 

anyway, he got in, and i played it. the drive to school isn’t that far, so it finished like, while we were in the busy lane waiting to turn into our high school

and like i was really “:DD” bc like it was good that w/rol note held out at the end was kinda Magical and also in context of the musical??? wow YES jeremy finally getting his Protagonist Song(tm) he deserves it and it makes me feel !!!

i hadn’t said anything yet, but literally the first words out of my friend’s mouth were some semblance of “wow, that was terrible” which like. yeah. killed the mood pretty quick skdjgnsdf

he like started digging Into it like making fun of the chorus and will’s voice and i was kinda just quiet like “oh,,, i guess,,” bc i didn’t know what else to do, like i felt bad immediately trying to defend it bc i’d only heard it that One time and also confrontation is hard and confrontation specifically w him was hard, especially bc he was like Genuinely ragging on the song, not in a jokey way

and like.... he eventually stopped because he could tell i was genuinely getting distressed and he kept going like “hey it’s nbd kayla it’s not like you wrote the song” which jsdkgsd to this day i’m not sure what that means or why he thought it’d be comforting but. whatever. the whole thing made me feel really bad and inferior 

in the coming weeks of the actual b//mc soundtrack getting released he also made fun of ilpr at one point, how st/ephanie h/su was “”too much”” or something - idk. those criticisms didn’t bug me as much bc at that point i’d already been resigned about the whole thing, and it’s not like i played that song for him and he said that, he’d listened to it on his own time and just thought for some reason to mention it to me. 

and it’s frustrating, because i can’t even be like “he just doesn’t like new musicals”, bc he really liked h//adestown and there’s usually a musical or two from the tony’s every year he gets into, it was just like... the ones i liked he didn’t [pensive] and i know i know it wasn’t personal, he’s just LIKE that, but .... aughhh it really bothered me when he’d dig into stuff i liked and was always just like “u didn’t write it u didn’t make it” like that was supposed to make my interest in this Thing despite his Distaste ok.... 

and like despite this he was still the person i was closest to - this was merely a blip in the whole grand scheme of things, just.. something that bugged me. it took me until after i graduated to realize he’d been a sociopath, that he was never choosing me, i was just.. around, which. sucks. i spent a lot of time sitting with him in my car in front of his house talking about musicals and life for more hours than i’d like to admit. when he broke down crying on his 18th birthday telling us that he didn’t know if he’d ever be enough, i thought that i’d actually started to understand him. 

he’d been my ‘best friend’ since elementary school. i dated him at one point before we both realized we were queer. we’d been the only two seniors who’d been in every show together. despite all the bullshit, he was always there. he assimilated to the personality of our friend group every year when we were around different people, but he was still around, i was still always there for him - he couldn’t assimilate to my personality because to him there were no traits to take, we’d known each other for too long. 

a couple weeks into senior year, i full on sobbed to him in my car telling him about how he and the friend group made me feel so bad last year, told him about how i stopped taking my meds during the musical. he told me that he had no idea that i was feeling like that, that he didn’t know. but i’d driven him to school every day.

the last time we’ve talked in person was march 14th, the last day school for the 2019-2020 year was in session. 

i haven’t taken it off, but i skip lgw whenever it comes on my musical playlist because it still makes my chest feel tight.

[writethehousedown]

Sunshine (Jackie/Miz Cracker) -- Rainbow

A/N: After a long fic writing hiatus, I’m back with some cliché content nobody on planet Earth asked for! Although I’ve never seen this ship before, I decided that these two have chemistry after watching that one cast interview and RWAJ season 12 episode 1 when she interviewed Jackie. I hope you enjoy this random professional theatre au. If you do, my tumblr is @rainbowvelour :).

“Good morning, sunshine!”

The lead stage manager always greeted Jackie the same way. Every day when the leading actress came in, an overpriced cup of black coffee in hand, Brianna would look up from her papers and repeat the phrase.

The phrase, though repeated each day, never felt monotonous to Jackie. If she was running a few minutes late to rehearsal that day, Brianna would recite the words with a hint of sarcasm sprinkled in. Sometimes, she’d add a teasing, “You’re the lead now, Jackie, you should be an example!” Jackie would just shoot her with a brief, apologetic smile and speed walk past the front desk towards the stage doors. She couldn’t help but feel guilty for her tardiness, despite knowing that the stage manager didn’t actually mind. Her words were always genuine when it came to Jackie.

When Jackie ran in for the first day of dress rehearsals, things appeared exactly the same. Brianna looked up with her and said, “Hey, sunshine. How was your weekend?”

Flustered and out of breath from sprinting from her apartment to the theatre, Jackie responded with a quick, “Alright! How was yours?” before dashing past the desk without waiting for an answer.

It was only during intermission, when the actors were taking a break, that Jackie realized something was off; Brianna was sitting in the 5th row of the theatre as usual, notebook in hand, but she looked sad. Her thick blonde hair was tied up in a bun instead of sporting her usual side part and she wasn’t wearing makeup. Upon closer examination, Jackie noticed her eyes were just the slightest bit red. Jackie decided to check up on her, lifting the ends of her skirts so she could make her way up the stairs.

“Hey��” She cringed at how awkward the words sounded. Nice job, dumbass.

Brianna looked up from her nearly blank page and attempted a small smile, “Hi, Jackie. Is something wrong?” The actress noticed that she didn’t even bother with the nickname.

“Um… No, not exactly…” She rocked back and forth slightly in her character shoes, “I was actually gonna ask you the same thing,” she paused, trying to think of the correct phrasing, “You just seem kinda down today so I wanted to make sure you were okay?” She didn’t mean to make the phrase sound like a question, but she always felt nervous talking to Brianna. Jackie was the girl who could get up on stage and pour her soul into productions. She rarely felt nervous, and was incredibly comfortable on stage. She tried to take that energy into her daily life, but there was something about Brianna that transformed her back into her shy, insecure high school self. Brianna was always so professional. She took her job seriously and wasn’t afraid of telling actors exactly what she thought. She had a dry wit and a sarcastic sense of humor that often intimidated new actors. Yet, as Jackie knew from being part of the company for nearly 4 years, there was a softer side of Brianna. Deep down she was gentle, kind, and welcoming. Seeing her upset broke Jackie’s heart.

Brianna shrugged, shifting down a seat and patting the one she was previously seated in. When Jackie had made her way up and was seated in the chair, Brianna sighed, “For the past few weeks I’ve been seeing this girl… It wasn’t really dating, it was more… you know…” Jackie felt her cheeks heat up under her foundation and she tried not to avert her eyes, “…But anyway,” Brianna continued, “She ended things last night. I mean, it was kind of my fault, but it still hurts, you know?” She was trying to be nonchalant, but Jackie didn’t miss the way she would occasionally look up, trying to keep her eyes from watering.

Jackie furrowed her brows, not wanting to be nosey but wanting to know the details at the same time, “How was it your fault?” She tried to tamper down any jealousy at the idea of Brianna dating someone else. Nobody in the cast or crew knew it, but she had a sort of crush on Brianna. Though she was passionate about acting and serious about the work she did at Charles Theatre Company, Jackie couldn’t help the feelings that had been building since she started. She knew she had to get over it, that she was no longer fresh out of college and should have her emotions under control, but the nerves and the lightheaded feeling she got when talking to Brianna wouldn’t go away.

Jackie pulled herself back to the present just in time to hear Brianna’s response, “I wasn’t really giving her enough, I guess? Like, she wanted more from me than just a friend with benefits. And I liked Kameron, I really did, but I just didn’t love her. All of the soul-searching and attempts at dates couldn’t change that. And she could tell I felt that way. She knew that despite how much she loved me, I couldn’t love her back,” She paused, sucking in a breath, “Sorry… I shouldn’t have dumped all of that on you. You don’t deserve it.”

“No!” Jackie and Brianna were both shocked at the sudden burst of emotion from the actress, “I mean, you don’t have to feel sorry. I understand what you mean. You can’t force yourself to love someone. No matter how hard you try or how much you want to, you can’t control who you love, you know?” The air grew silent with the weight of Jackie’s words and she shifted slightly, eyes turning to her lap to escape the intensity of her own feelings. You can’t control who you love, she had said; funny that this was exactly what Jackie was trying to do. She decided to backpedal, desperate to release some of the tension, “Sorry that was intense. I shouldn’t think it’s my place to give you advi-” but she didn’t finish her train of thought because at that moment, Brianna leaned forward and kissed her.

Brianna placed a gentle hand on the actress’s cheek and closed her eyes. Jackie did the same, relaxing a bit as she kissed her back. After a moment, Brianna’s dark eyes widened and she pulled away. Jackie snapped out of the moment as well, leaning back in her seat. She could feel her heart pounding and when she finally dared to look at Brianna, the other girl’s mouth was tinted with Jackie’s pink lipstick.

“I’m… I…” Brianna stuttered before glancing at her watch, “I need to call ten minutes. You should touch up before you get back onstage,” She stood up and quickly moved past Jackie and down towards the backstage area.

“Thank you, ten…” Jackie murmured weakly before getting up and drifting back to her dressing room to fix her makeup.

Jackie stared at herself in her dressing room mirror, absentmindedly tracing her finger over the area where Brianna had smudged her lipstick. Though she knew it was impossible, it felt as if she could still feel Brianna’s lips on her own. Jackie was snapped back to reality when Jaida, one of the other stage managers, came in to tell her she had to be backstage in five minutes.

“Thank you five…” Jackie didn’t look at her, but Jaida could tell by her tone and expression in the mirror that something was wrong.

“You just have one more act to get through, Jackie, then you gotta fix this.”

“What do you mean?” Jackie asked, finally looking over at Jaida.

“I think you already know,” Jaida looked at the lead actress with a soft smile, “Now fix those lips and get out there before I drag you myself!” And with that, she closed the door, leaving Jackie alone again.

…

The rest of rehearsal went surprisingly well. Jackie didn’t miss any lines and even hit the high note at the end of her final song, something she had been struggling with since the first music rehearsal. It was only when she was back in her dressing room, the adrenaline from the successful performance having worn off, that she was left with that same heavy feeling.

Jackie quickly changed into some leggings and a sweatshirt, determined to leave quickly and start again tomorrow. She was just finishing taking off her makeup when she heard a knock on the door. As soon as she said ‘come in,’ the door slowly opened to reveal a shy and nervous Brianna.

“Hey,” the stage manager said as she closed the dressing room door, “You did amazing today. That was your best performance so far,” She smiled slightly, trying to keep the conversation light.

“Thanks,” Jackie attempted a smile as well, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Listen… I’m sorry for running off before. I don’t know what I was thinking, honestly, I just panicked. Jaida apparently saw the whole thing and told me off in the tech booth,” Brianna paused, taking in a breath, “I wasn’t quite honest with you before, about the whole Kameron thing. The part about me not returning her feelings was true, but I left out the reason why…” she kept her eyes on the floor, not quite sure how to proceed. After a moment, she spoke again, “I couldn’t return Kameron’s feelings because I like you, Jackie,” she tried to smile a little despite her nerves, “I didn’t know how to tell you because you’re always so focused. You put your all into every single production, even when you’re in the ensemble. I didn’t want to be the one to break your concentration because you’re a truly phenomenal actress,” she bit her lip, finally looking up at Jackie, “But I couldn’t hide it anymore.”

Jackie was shocked. In all her years spent secretly pining and trying to keep her feelings under control, she hadn’t even considered the possibility that the stage manager liked her back. She didn’t know how to deal with this revelation, “You do? But you’re always so… measured! I feel like a mess even trying to talk to you. There’s no way you felt the same!”

Brianna was taken aback by Jackie’s rant, but after a moment the corners of her mouth turned up into a smile. Then, she was grinning. And then, she couldn’t help but laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Jackie asked, confused and flustered.

“Sorry, but are you fucking kidding me?” Brianna grinned, shaking her head, “Every time I talk to you I feel like my brain might implode. Could you really not tell at all?”

“No! I couldn’t!” Jackie cried, making Brianna start giggling again, “Stop laughing at me!”

“Sorry, darling, but you really are clueless sometimes,” the stage manager smirked, “But you’re cute, though,” Now that both of their feelings had been established, Brianna was able to return to her normal sarcastic self, “Will you forgive me if I take you on a date?”

“What sort of date?” Jackie asked, arms still crossed with a pout still on her face.

Brianna furrowed her brows, pretending to think, “Hmm… How does take-out and binging The Real Housewives sound?” she smiled hopefully.

Jackie couldn’t help but smile herself, “Fine… As long as it’s The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills!”

“But New York is so much better!” Brianna argued, starting to open the door as Jackie gathered her things.

“You clearly have never seen the icon that is Lisa Rinna,” Jackie countered, slinging her backpack over her shoulder before linking arms with Brianna, “Ready to go, sunshine?”

Brianna’s cheeks turned pink at the use of her own pet name, but she smiled nonetheless, “Always.”

-END.

[euphoria-svt]

Yours Only

there’s not as much angst as I hoped bcs I suck, sorry anon :(

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Word count: 2.3k -ish

“We’re so glad to have you over again, y/n” Connor’s mom sighs happily as you were helping her clear the plates after dinner. Connor and Dylan ducked out of the kitchen when their mother announced it was time to clean the dishes and instead went into the living room to play a round of FIFA “It’s nice to have another girl around the house once in a while”

“Thank you for having me, Mrs. Brashier” You said shyly as you continued to scrub the dirty dishes “I would’ve come by more often but I’ve just been so busy with uni and I have that musical coming up in 2 months as well so my free time has been taken up by rehearsals”

“That’s right! Connor told us about it” She nodded “I know you’re going to be spectacular, sweetheart. Connor wouldn’t stop telling us what an amazing dancer you are”

You blushed in reply “Thank you so much, that’s really nice of you to say”

“You must be happy to have Connor back home” You said with a smile forming on your face “The house must have been pretty quiet without him, huh?”

Connor’s mom nodded in reply, laughing a little “It gets lonely at times, I’ll admit. Dylan doesn’t give me as much headache as he normally does if Connor’s around. It’s nice to have my boy home again; reminds me that he hasn’t exactly forgotten about us now that he’s traveling around the world with Shawn”

You hang the last plate on the drying rack and turned off the tap “Connor never forgets his family, Mrs. Brashier. He loves you all too much” You reassured as you wiped your hands dry with the kitchen towel.

“I know he does” She smiles “Doesn’t mean that it gets easier every time he has to leave for tour, you know?”

“But he’s home for good now” You insisted “And he’s going back to UCLA pretty soon so everything will go back to the way it was”

His mother paused for a second; giving you a blank look. You caught on to this and your eyebrows furrowed at her reaction.

“Mrs. Brashier?” You called out to her “You alright?”

That seem to snap her back to reality as she asked hesitantly “y/n, honey, did Connor not tell you?”

That question alone seemed to make you more nervous “Tell me what…?” You asked.

You could see the look of hesitation in her face; like she was contemplating on whether to break the news to you or not.

“Connor, he…” She sighs, mentally scolding Connor for not bringing this up to you sooner “They’ve extended his contract for the tour, honey. He’s going to be away from home until right before Christmas”

You were taken aback. Your jaws dropped at the news. You blinked in surprise.

How the hell could Connor keep something big like this from you?

“He is?” You ask in a fragile tone, already hearing the crack in your voice.

Dammit, y/n. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

“Honey, I’m so sorry” She said with sympathy and you could hear the genuine tone in her voice “I would’ve thought you knew about this. Connor told me about it last month”

“Last month” You repeated. You were trying your best not to break down in front of her right there and then. This was officially the most embarrassing moment for you. Being a complete idiot in front of your boyfriend’s mother.

“He didn’t tell me anything” You said softly.

She reached out for your hand and rubbed it comfortingly “I think you should talk to him, honey”

You nod and excused yourself from the kitchen.

“Connor?” You called softly from the side as you watched him concentrating on the game they were playing on the TV screen.

Connor doesn’t shift his gaze from the screen as he hummed in response “Yeah, baby?”

“Can I talk to you for a second?”

“In a minute, babe” He answered “I’m really close to beating Dylan this match!”

Dylan smirked from beside his older brother “You wish, dumbass”

You couldn’t take it anymore so you reached out and snatched the controller from his hand, pausing the game. Both boys groaned and Connor was about to snatch the controller from you again when you asked for the second time, but more firmly “Can I talk to you for a second?”

That definitely didn’t sound good.

As you headed for the sliding door that led you to the Brashiers’ backyard, Dylan turned to his brother, whispering lowly “What did you do?”

Connor shrugged his shoulder nonchalantly as he followed after you. Deep down, he was nervous with the tone you were using. You seemed fine when he left you with his mother in the kitchen, why did your mood suddenly change within 15 minutes?

You two sat on swing set and both didn’t speak. There were so many things running through your head right now and you felt like you were going to burst soon.

Connor was the first to take action; resting his hand on your knee “Baby?” He asked worriedly “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

You snapped your head towards him, letting him see the fresh tears in your eyes “What’s going on?” You repeated “I don’t know, Connor you tell me what the hell’s going on”

He frowned “Hey, you’re the one who said we needed to talk. So, talk babe”

“When were you going to tell me?” You questioned “When were you going to tell me that your contract with Shawn has been extended and you’d be away from home until December?”

Connor felt the weird feeling in his stomach. Out of all the things he’d expected for you to be acting weird, this one didn’t make it to the list.

And then he sees the hurt look on your face and he felt so, very guilty for keeping this from you for the longest time.

“Baby…”

“Do I mean nothing to you, Connor?” You asked timidly as you got up from the chair and stood opposite him, with your arms crossed over your chest “Is that why you kept this from me?” Your voice cracked “Because you didn’t think it was important to tell me?”

Connor immediately shook his head as he reached out for your hand but you pulled away before he could “Baby, it’s nothing like that!” He pleaded “Of course you’re important to me, y/n. You’re the most important person in my life, baby but I just didn’t know how to tell you…”

“So, you figured it was better that I found out from someone else?” You retort “What exactly were you waiting for? Were you waiting for me to come by your house for lunch only for your mother to tell me that you packed your bag up and you’re having the time of your life with your new friends?”

He winced at your sass; he knew he fucked up real good this time.

“I was afraid you’d get mad at me for breaking my promise to you” He admitted softly “I promised you before the tour started that I would be gone only until September but when Andrew offered to extend the contract… I just knew I couldn’t say no”

You let out a sarcastic laugh “So, you kept this from me because you thought I’d be that bitchy girlfriend who wouldn’t let her boyfriend pursue his dreams? Do I look that heartless to you, Connor?”

“You know what, if that’s what you really think of me then maybe I was wrong about you, Connor Brashier” You continued to rant, getting angrier at him “I was wrong to think that you knew me better than anyone else”

“y/n, please, I do know you better than anyone else” Connor pleaded. He knew where this was going and he didn’t want his biggest nightmare to happen “Please tell me what I can do to make this better for us”

You shook your head, letting the tears fall down your cheeks “No, Connor” You firmly said “If you can keep something this big from me just because you assumed I wouldn’t support your dreams then maybe we shouldn’t be together anymore”

Connor felt like his breathe hitched in his throat at your words. His vision was getting blurry due to the tears forming in his eyes.

You spun on your heels and headed for the door. You felt defeated. Like you lost everything by saying those words. It hurt you but it needed to be done.

Connor got up from his spot and took large strolls towards you. He wrapped his arms around you from behind and you could hear him sniffle against your shoulder.

“Don’t do this” He said shakily “Don’t end us, y/n”

“I can’t trust you, Connor” You muttered softly “You gotta let me go”

“Give me a second chance” He pleaded “Please, just don’t give up on us, baby. I can’t lose you because of this”

You shook your head and untighten his grip around you. You turned around and took one last look at him “I can’t give you the answer you want, Connor. I’m sorry”

2 months later

“Oh my God, it’s a full house!” You said nervously, taking a peek at the audience gathered in the large theatre hall “I feel like I’m going to throw up”

Amber laughs in reply and rolled her eyes playfully “Babe, you’re going to kill it, okay? You’ve put in so much effort in this musical and we all just know you’re going to be amazing out there”

“Thanks Am” You answered gratefully, turning your head back to the hall; scanning through the crowd.

Amber noticed what you were doing and sighed “Still wondering if he would show up?”

Your head snapped back to her and you had a guilty look plastered on your face “Pathetic of me, right?” You asked sadly “I broke up with him and I still have the audacity to think he would show up for my big night even though he promised he would months ago”

“Oh, honey. It’s not pathetic” She said with sympathy “You still love him, y/n. I get it. It’s okay to still love him despite what happened; you’re only human”

You shrugged your shoulders sadly “Yeah, whatever, Am. He’s probably in Australia right now. Stupid for me to think he’d be here instead”

“I’ll see you later, okay?” You told her “I’m going to head back to my dressing room”

Amber nodded in reply “Break a leg, babe!” She called out to you.

When you got to your dressing room, you were surprised to find a box of white rosses sitting on top of your vanity.

Your heart starts beating faster as you approached it, only one thing running through your mind.

There was only one person who knew how much you loved white roses. And that happened to be the same guy you were just talking about a few minutes ago.

You picked up the card attached to the box, unfolding it open to find a handwritten message.

I know you probably still hate me right now but I made a promise to you I’d be here for your big night and I don’t want to break anymore promises.

I can’t wait to see you be the amazing dancer you are on stage. Break a leg, sweets and I hope you love the flowers.

All my love,

Connor

You read the message over and over again, trying to register it in your mind. Connor was really here? You’d hope for this but you didn’t think it would actually be true.

Was this a sign that you’ve been waiting for?

And then you heard the voice you’ve been missing, and suddenly you realized this was reality; this was really happening.

“Hi” Connor greeted you.

You turned around to find him leaning against the doorframe, with a small smile on his face. His hair was slightly longer since you last saw him but other than that, he was still the same.

“Hi” You responded “What are you doing here? I thought you were away on tour?”

“I was” He nodded, pushing himself off the frame as he stepped into your room; approaching closer to you “But they understood I had other priorities and let me take a few days off”

You nodded in reply, “Thanks for the flowers” You said shyly “They’re beautiful”

He stood before you and you felt like you couldn’t breathe; forgetting how it felt like having Connor so near you after a long time.

“There’s another reason why I came here”

“Oh yeah?” You asked “And what’s that, Connor?”

“I messed up…” He started “I realized I messed up the second you left my house crying and I regretted not chasing after you. I should’ve been honest with you from the start and I should’ve fought harder to make you stay”

“So, I’m here now” He concluded “To make things right with you; to promise you I’m never going to keep anything from you and to keep fighting for you, for us… Because, y/n; I want to be yours, only”

“If you need time, I’ll give you time” Connor said, noticing that you remained silent “We can wait till I come back next month but I’m going to keep waiting for you, baby”

“No”

“No?” Connor’s heart dropped.

“No, I don’t want to wait any longer” You confirmed “You messed up; I got mad, we’re only humans. I don’t want keep doing this because it’s killing me too, Con”

“So,” He hesitantly dragged “We’re okay, now?”

“We’ll take it slow” You reassured with a smile “But we’ll be okay, Con”

“Hey, y/n!” A backstage crew popped into your room “We’re going on soon”

“Be right there!” You called out to him then focused your attention on Connor “I’ll see you after this?”

“You most definitely will” He nods, leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek; relieved that he finally could do it “Break a leg, honey”

“Yeah, I’m going to need a different kind of good luck kiss, Brashier”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

like, reblog & hit me with your feedbacks ❤️

x rina

[screensirenfic]

Gasoline Chapter 4

The movie theatre was pretty vacant for a Saturday night, though maybe that had more to do with the fact it was Valentines weekend and most people had decided to spend it sucking face at Lovers Lake, kickstarting this years batch of pregnancy scares amongst the teenage population.  

Steve hadn’t actually asked me to be his Valentine. A stupid thing; really. I didn’t even believe in the damn holiday; just another fucking excuse to make people waste money on bad chocolates and overpriced flower arrangements. But still; he’d taken me to the movies, and I guess that was something.

The film of the weekend was The Breakfast Club; a teenage drama/comedy about five kids in detention, and already I could see similarities in the rural population of Hawkins High.

Claire was pretty, and kind of a bitch; coming across as a weird blend of Tina and Nancy that was honestly quite jarring to watch.

Andrew was Steve; a noble, dumb pretty boy of a jock, who probably was the least of a jerk off in the club, though that honestly wasn’t saying much.

Jonathan landed somewhere between Alison and Brian; combining the dark traits of social outcast with the dorky awkwardness of an all out nerd.

And Bender was...

Billy.

The more I thought about it; the closer it was.

A walking fucking stereotype of teen bad boy, down to the denim jacket.

Obnoxious, attractive, aggressive; all the traits were being ticked off the list as I began to wonder if they’d based this guy’s entire character on Hawkins resident bad boy.

Then it got to the part about cigar burns, and my popcorn did flips in my stomach.

I thought back to the bruises on Billy’s face; the change in attitude, the hunched posture-

“Hey Lo; you okay?” Steve leaned across the seat to mutter in my ear; my mind suddenly conscious that he’d been watching me instead of the movie for the past ten minutes.

“Yeah; just got lost there for a moment...” I replied, slurping loudly on my drink to try and avoid a conversation.

“Cause we can get out of here, if you want...” He offered, shifting in his seat already, ready to leave on my word.

“No; no, it’s fine. Let’s just try and enjoy the movie.” I refused, stealing another handful of Steve’s popcorn and turning my gaze back to the screen.

Steve kept staring at me for a moment, clearly not satisfied with what might’ve been going on in my head, before eventually giving up and continuing to watch the movie.

“Being bad feels pretty good; huh?”

We finished watching the movie and Steve drove me home in his BMW, humming along with Queen albums all the while.

It felt pretty normal, if not for Steve reaching across the gear stick to hold my hand in between shifts.

It was nice; really. The warm, familiar comfort of his fingers threaded through my own; thumb tracing patterns across my knuckles like this actually meant something to him.

And what was I saying?! Of course I meant something to Steve. He was my best friend, and my boyfriend, and; shit, what the hell had I got myself into?!

I cared about Steve, and I loved him pretty much more than nearly everyone I know, but was I in love with him?

I glanced across at him in the driving seat, tapping along with the beat on his steering wheel, a pretty dumb smile on his face.

I loved Steve; so why did I have to keep convincing myself of it?

When Steve finally dropped me off, I had to push a sense of foreboding down in my stomach; the reality that perhaps we were at another milestone in our relationship starting to dawn upon me.

Steve turned off the engine; the voice of Freddie Mercury cutting out, so we were left with the near silent ambiance of the woods.

“Thanks for the movie, Steve. I had fun.” I attempted to say my farewells, undoing my seatbelt to make my exit.

“Me too...” He replied; that slight crinkle in between his brows, a tell he had something on his mind.

“Come on; let me walk you to your door.” He urged, and normally I’d tell him to get fucked; not needing any of his chivalry, but tonight I decided I’d let him.

The night air outside was chilly; the last breath of winter’s snow still in the air as Steve walked me up the porch steps, me pulling my leather jacket tighter around my shoulders.

We reached the door, and I pulled my keys out of my pocket, already knowing what came next.

My dad wasn’t home, probably wouldn’t be all night, and El was over at the Byers for D’n’D night or something.

I had the cabin completely to myself.

“You know; I really meant what I said. About enjoying tonight...” Steve began; his doe eyes avoiding me for once to flit around uncertainly.

“I feel like you just genuinely get me; you know?” He continued; eyes finally daring to settle on my face as I unlocked my door.

“I know the feeling...” I concurred, though I couldn’t quite find it in myself to meet his eyes.

The door clicked open; the ridiculous amount of locks no longer a problem since dad had become more lax on the house rules, as I gently pushed it open the first inch.

I could feel Steve’s eyes on me; an unspoken question hanging in the air.

“Do you wanna come in?” I asked; ripping off the bandaid before we both died of old age.

“Yeah... Sure...” Steve nodded, looking half surprised at the offer, but following me inside regardless.

I felt self-conscious about the mess of the place, automatically going to shove the laundry basket out of sight in the bathroom, hyper aware of my pink panties sticking out of the side.

“Weird to think I’ve known you for over five years, and yet I’ve never been inside your house...” Steve commented, taking the time to look around the place like he was planning to buy it. Probably could too, knowing his family’s bank accounts.

“Probably because my dad would deck you before you even got through the door.” I joked lightheartedly, returning to Steve’s side.

It was true that my dad didn’t initially approve of Steve; thought he was a weak-armed momma’s boy who was only good at soaking up his daddy’s trust fund.

But with time and tolerance; he’d begun to like Steve, or at least appreciate the fact that he cared about me.

“Your dad coming home?” He asked, starting down a slippery slope towards a subject we’d both been avoiding for the past two months.

“Not tonight.” I confirmed, pulling off my jacket, because it had suddenly become too warm in here.

“Good.” Steve said, but before I had the chance to ask what he meant, he leaned in and kissed me hard on the mouth.

I was shocked, to be honest, not really expecting him just to lay one on me out of the blue like that.

Steve rarely kissed me as it is; some sort of residual hesitance stopping him from being openly affectionate in public. A kiss on the head, or the cheek was routine; little barely noticeable demonstrations of affection that could be passed off as displays of a close friendship. But full on making out; never.

It didn’t really feel romantic; the whole thing seeming so rushed, it was almost forced, but I tried to reciprocate regardless.

I lifted my hand to the back of Steve’s neck, tangling my fingers through thick hair as I tried my best to kiss him back.

Steve grabbed me by my hips, backing me up until I collided with the kitchen counter, fingertips squeezing gently at the skin just above the waistband of my shorts.

I slipped my tongue out of my mouth, letting it pry along the seam of his own until he allowed me entry, kissing me back in a series of short, passionate kisses that should’ve left me breathless.

Instead it was awkward and stiff, like we were doing what we thought we should do, rather than what we felt like doing.

Still, Steve gave it his all; letting his hands trail up underneath my top, gently feeling their way across my ribs in what I guessed was meant to be a caress.

He parted from my lips, moving on to leave a trail of kisses across my jaw and down the start of my neck; teeth nipping as he attempted to give me a hickey.

“Stop, Steve...” I protested; the soft sucking sensation really doing nothing for me, but making the surface of my skin slightly wet.

“Steve; this isn’t working...” I complained; though he couldn’t really know how much I meant those words.

Steve did as I asked, pulling away almost instantaneously, before peering up at me with soft eyes.

“Too much?” He asked; a slight hesitance in his voice as he basically enquired about his performance.

“A little...” I admitted, not quite having it in me to crush his confidence completely.

He sighed softly, leaning his head down to rest it in the crook of my neck, as I reached up to run my fingers through his hair.

Steve was trying; he really was, but I just—

This wasn’t what I’d ever expected from the guy I called my best friend, and I guess I was still adjusting, even if it had been two months.

“Do you wanna just watch TV or something?” He asked, pulling his head away from me as he finally resigned that nothing was gonna happen tonight.

I shook my head, leaning back on the counter as he stepped back to give me some space.

“I’m not really feeling it tonight.” I confessed; though I was beginning to wonder if I would feel like “it” any night.

Steve just nodded, already trying to hide the look of disappointment on his face.

“You’re right. I should just- go home...” He conceded, before stepping in close to give me a quick goodbye kiss.

He leaned down to peck me on the lips, then hesitated, changing course for my cheek instead.

It was quick and soft this time; no lingering touches or restrained passion, and then it was over.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, maybe.” He said uncertainly, giving me a nod before heading for the door.

I didn’t even say anything; concerned and embarrassed that I was the one that had done this, created this awkwardness between us.

Maybe if I had just let him continue...

But it was too late for second thoughts; Steve already shutting the door behind him, and ending all prospects of a Do over.

I sighed, heading straight to my room, because trust me to over complicate things.

I couldn’t even have a honest-to-god actual relationship without me somehow screwing that up!

Instead I just threw myself down face first on my bed, screaming frustratedly into my pillow, because I couldn’t even go one night without sabotaging myself.

I was an idiot; a total and complete idiot.

Steve was a nice guy; my closest friend, a true diamond amongst a sea of trash, so why didn’t I feel attracted to him?

I lifted my head off my pillow, wondering where in my life I’d become so fucked up that the idea of a nice guy was a turn off, when I spotted something tucked in the top corner of my bed.

Billy’s teddy bear.

Eleven must’ve seen it in my backpack and put it in my room thinking it was important.

I picked it up, turning over onto my back so I could look at its stupid blank eyed expression.

Maybe there was a reason I didn’t feel that way about Steve anymore...

[runs-in-the-family]

Hi! Could you do 12(smutty) or 21(sappy) on the prompt list please. I just love your fics.

Hello, love! Thank you so much for the prompts, they were two of my favourites so I was delighted to get them. I might still fill the smutty one some day but I was in need of some fluff yesterday so here’s the sappy. I truly hope you enjoy it. 

21. “I’m better when I’m with you.”

                                                    ———-

      His mouth still tasted like popcorn. Three hours, one cigarette, and half a gallon of soda later and the lingering taste of too much salt still held the monopoly over his taste buds.

      Steve lay in bed, tongue prodding at a determined crumb lodged between his teeth, and considered Billy’s argument regarding the movie.

      “It’s gay as shit, Harrington.” He’d said, before tossing his soda cup in the lobby trashcan. “And you should fucking know.”

      Steve had rolled his eyes and pushed open The Hawk’s front door, November chill immediately licking at his cheeks.

      “Okay, right, Freddy Krueger’s gay – ”

      “I didn’t say Freddy Krueger was gay.” Billy was already lighting a cigarette. “I said the movie was gay.”

      They’d stood a while in front of the theatre, passing the smoke back and forth, Steve listening to the litany of reasons why A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 was the gayest thing Billy had ever seen. Whether or not any of it would hold up in court, Steve wasn’t sure, but watching his boyfriend get worked up over subtext kept him strangely warm in the cold air.

      “You don’t think you’re reading too much into this?” He’d asked, passing the final drag to Billy.

      His question had been met with a derisive cocked brow.

      “Into what? The part where closet case ditches that horned up chick so he can go sleep with his buddy instead?”

      “He was freaked out!” Steve had tried pointlessly to argue. “Freddy’s trying to possess him – ”

      A plume of smoke accompanied Billy’s laugh.

      “Oh, I fuckin’ remember.” He’d slipped into a higher pitch then. “He’s inside me! He’s inside me! Help! Help!”

      They’d stood there in silence for a moment, both trying to keep a straight face.

      “That was pretty gay.” Steve had conceded, smile breaking across his lips.

      Nodding intently, Billy had tossed the butt and slid a hand to the small of Steve’s back.

      “Gayest shit I’ve ever heard.” He’d scoffed. “And now, you know, I just spent ninety minutes waiting for somebody to get blown and nobody got blown and you know what that means?”

      Though almost positive that he knew where this was headed, Steve had shrugged and feigned ignorance. In response, Billy leaned in close and whispered in his ear.

      “Now I gotta suck your dick in the back of my car or my head’s gonna fucking explode.”

      Steve had, of course, done what was necessary to save his boyfriend.

      A sudden tap at his window drew Steve’s thoughts away from backseat blowjobs and back to the darkness of his bedroom. After a pause, a second tap followed, spurring him to get up and open his blinds.

      That Billy’s eyes stared back at him through the glass didn’t give him pause for thought. All Steve cared about was the look of terror on his face.

      He wrenched open the window and pulled Billy inside.

      “Shit, hey, come here, come here.” He held Billy close and stared worriedly into his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

      They stayed there for a moment, Steve stroking Billy’s cheek and watching his lip shake. Imagining every awful answer that could possibly come next and praying he’d know how to fix it.

      “I…I just…” There were a series of deep breaths before the rest came. “I had a nightmare.”

      Immediately, the lip stopped shaking. Billy’s face softened and the corners of his mouth fought back a smile.

      “Can I sleep with you tonight?”

      Suddenly overwhelmed with a mix of relief and anger, Steve let go of Billy and let out a breath.

      “Are you fucking kidding me?”

      Billy licked any evidence of a smile from his lips and fell back into a nervous pretence. Steve only glared at him.

      “It was so scary.” He insisted. “Freddy Krueger was trying to get inside me.”

      Despite himself, Steve had to suppress a laugh.

      “You’re an asshole.” He said, bluntly, hoping Billy would hear his anger.

      Whether he did or not, Steve couldn’t tell. Either way, the smile appeared in full this time and two hands slid themselves around Steve’s hips, pulling him flush against Billy’s waist.

      “What do you say?” He was asked, a kissed pecked against his jaw. “You gonna keep me safe tonight, pretty boy?”

      Increasingly one to reward bad behaviour, Steve just sighed and nodded.

      “Yeah. Sure.”

      “Well look at that.” Billy hummed, nuzzling into his neck. “My fuckin’ hero.”

      They moved to the bed and nestled beneath the covers, Billy wrapping himself in Steve’s arms before fully settling down. It took only a few moments of lying in that familiar heat for Steve’s anger to vanish completely.

      For a while, the room was silent. Steve’s arm rose and fell with Billy’s chest, the gentle hold on his hand the sole indication that he wasn’t the only one awake. He was beginning to drift off in the pillow of Billy’s hair when a voice rose into the dark.

      “Sorry I scared you.”

      It was genuine. Earnest enough to warrant a reassuring kiss on the shoulder.

      “It’s okay.” Steve whispered. “Just don’t do it again, alright? I’ll push you back out the window.”

      He smiled at Billy’s quiet snigger. After a moment, he felt a thumb start to rub against his wrist.

      “You were really worried, huh, pretty boy?”

      Though delivered with a faux derision, Steve could hear the sincerity beneath it.  

      “Course.” He said, solemnly.

      The silence returned then. Steve could feel the thumb rubbing circles on his skin and he began silently counting them. When he reached as far as seven, he felt the hold on his hand shift, felt it being brought upwards, then smiled when a set of lips pressed deep into his palm.

      “Thanks.”

      Still tired but no longer wanting to sleep, Steve pulled the pair closer together and nuzzled into the nape of Billy’s neck.

      “What would you do if Freddy really came after you?”

      He could feel the smile through the warmth of Billy’s skin.

      “If he really came after me?”

      “You know what I mean.”

      His arm rose high as Billy took a deep breath.

      “I mean…I’d come to you.”

      Steve’s eyes fell shut and he smiled.

      “What would you do if he came after me?”

      The answer came quickly.

      “Kill him.”

      It triggered a tired chuckle from Steve. He pressed another kiss onto Billy’s shoulder and fell back into silence.

      “Steve?”

      The use of his first name prompted him to open his eyes. He watched the back of Billy’s head, concern edging into him.

      “Yeah?”

      He knew the smile was gone from Billy’s face.

      “I did have a nightmare.”

      Steve took a quiet breath and held tight to his boyfriend.

      “You wanna talk about it?” He asked.

      “No.” It was quiet but resolute. “You just…gotta keep me safe, alright?”

      Steve tightened his grip slightly and nodded against Billy’s shoulder.

      “Yeah. Alright.”

      The hand that held his own moved again, lacing their fingers together.

      “Everything’s…better…when I’m with you. And I’m…I’m better when I’m with you.” Billy swallowed something wet in the pause. “You know that, right?”

      Steve shook his head and made sure Billy felt it.

      “No.” He insisted. “I think you’re pretty perfect all on your own.”

      A broken breath of laughter punctuated the sentiment. It was followed by a sniff, then a squeeze on Steve’s forearm.

      “Okay.” Billy said, small smile audible in his voice. “That’s the gayest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

[marril96]

The Distance Between Us

Chapter 14: The Scream Queen

Pairing: Rowena x reader

Summary: You decide to introduce Rowena to some new culture.

Editor: @wonderifshelikesroses

Rowena wasn't kidding about hanging out with you publicly. In the weeks that followed, you hung out with her more and more, much to the chagrin of your friends.

"She's a snake! Dug her bloody claws into you and won't let go!" Crowley'd said during one of his signature dramatic rants about his sister and all the different ways she was using you and stealing you from him.

Having run out of arguments ages ago, for nothing you could say would convince him there was no way Rowena was using you as you'd hardly had anything she'd want, you'd simply said, "Snakes don't have claws."

Dean wasn't too happy with the situation, either. Neither was Castiel, but he kept his commentary to himself, while Meg found the whole thing hilarious. The more dramatic Crowley got, the more amused she was. Which usually led to the two of them bickering, something you welcomed as it got attention away from you.

Sam was the only one who supported yours and Rowena's budding friendship. Not that you called it that. For all intents and purposes, the two of you were just acquaintances doing schoolwork in public. And in private. And sometimes telling jokes and laughing instead of doing said schoolwork. As acquaintances did.

As annoying as your friends were, you knew there was no malice to their actions. They were just protective. Especially Crowley, as he knew best how Rowena was and didn't want you to get hurt. But neither he nor the rest of them knew the true her. The one that flashed warm, genuine smiles. The one that spoke in a soft voice as she explained problems over and over, endlessly patient. The one that was sweet and kind and acted more like a friend than an enemy behind closed doors.

You finally understood why Sam was friends with her. He'd been the first one to get to know that side of her. Now that you got the privilege, you could see why they understood each other so well. What made their friendship work so well despite their differences in social standing.

Having his support meant the world to you.

"Your taste in movies sucks," you said one late November evening, looking over Rowena's DVD collection instead of studying. All classics. The majority black and white.

Rowena put her phone down and huffed. "As if yours is better."

You flashed her a grin. "Mine's fun."

"Mine is cultured," she retorted smugly.

You snorted. "I'm pretty sure culture existed after…" You looked for the latest release in her collection. "1975."

She shrugged. "I prefer the classics."

"I can see that." An idea dawned on you like a light bulb flashing on. "We should get you up to date."

Rowena raised her eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah," you said, confident. Decisive. "We should go to the movies. Watch something new."

"You must be joking!"

"Nope. Gotta introduce you to some new culture."

She raised an eyebrow. Curious. Suspicious. "And what exactly would we be watching?"

"The Slashing."

It was a horror movie that had recently hit theaters. Most popular horror reviewers raved about it; you couldn't wait to see magnificence for yourself.

Rowena made the same face she'd made when Miss Hanscum had offered her donuts. Disgusted. As if someone had murdered her entire family. "I am not watching a movie called The Slashing."

"It's a good movie," you argued.

"If nudity and gratuitous violence falls under your definition of good."

As a matter of fact, they did.

"Reviews say there's not that much nudity."

She scoffed. "Is that supposed to convince me?"

"There's shirtless guys," you said with a shrug.

Covered in blood and most likely getting violently murdered. But hey, shirtless guys were shirtless guys.

"Now you're really grasping at straws."

Guilty as charged.

"Please? I've been wanting to see it for ages," you said.

"Nothing's stopping you."

"I don't wanna see it alone."

"Take Fergus."

"I don't like going to the movies with him. He always talks, and he insults the characters."

"Then you're out of luck."

Hopefully not.

"Can't you go with me?"

"Sorry, love. Horror is not my genre."

"You might like it."

She fixed you with a stare. Narrowed her eyes in curiosity. "Why do you want me to go?"

"Because."

Because I think we're becoming friends.

Because I think it'd be nice to spend some time with you in the dark, high on adrenaline, far away from math and black and white classics.

Because you're a mystery and I want to solve you. I want to know who you truly are. Because…

I think I like what I see.

You shrugged, adding, "It'd be fun to hang out. Now that we're not hiding in your room all the time."

Rowena thought it over, eyes never leaving you. Did she see what you saw? Was she having as much fun as you did? Or was this all strictly business Principal Shurley had imposed on her?

She seemed to genuinely enjoy your time together, but for all you know it could have been a mask. Rowena was different from most people. She hid her feelings — her entire self — well. Had built up a wall around herself to keep everyone at a distance. It was hard to tell who she really was.

One thing you were one hundred percent certain of was that she wasn't the mean girl she presented herself as at school.

But who she actually was was a mystery.

"If I accept, then you have to accompany me to a place of my choosing," she said after a few moments on contemplation.

"Is this blackmail?" you asked, quirking up an eyebrow.

"A trade," she said simply.

Fair.

You could live with that.

"Sounds good to me."

Her mouth widened into a smile. "Excellent! In that case, I will go with you to see The Slashing." Her face scrunched up at the mention of the title. A cute little expression. "But if I don't like it, I will walk out."

"You a scaredy cat?" you teased.

She blushed scarlet as her hair and turned her head. "No."

"Sure you're not."

"I am not scared!"

Of course she wasn't.

"Whatever you say." Before she could utter a retort, you said, "It's a deal. If it'd bad, we leave."

This was going to be fun.

*****

It was the last day of November and it was cold as hell itself. The ice in the air bit at your exposed skin; even through thick layers of clothes and a scarf covering your neck and mouth, you were shivering as if under a fever.

Maybe going to the movies, in this weather no less, was a mistake. Maybe you should've waited a few more weeks and pirated the damn movie like a normal person instead of freezing your ass off in below zero weather for an hour and a half of half-naked teenagers getting murdered on big screen.

One look at Rowena, in her maroon coat and knee-length red boots, told you it was worth it.

It wasn't every day that you got to take her to the movies.

Loser girls and popular girls didn't do that sort of thing together. As per the unwritten rules of your school's social hierarchy, their worlds didn't mesh together. They didn't mesh together.

And yet, here you both were.

Freezing, but close to your destination. Determined. Stubborn despite the awful weather.

"I bloody hate winter," Rowena commented as soon as you stepped into the theatre.

It was warm inside, pleasant, comforting, and you let out a breath of relief as the cold in you started melting.

You never wanted to go outside again.

"Technically, it's still Fall," you said.

Rowena glared, not in the mood for technicalities. "It's cold."

You shrugged. "No argument there."

Despite the horrid weather, there were still plenty of people around. Parents with overly excited children. Tired people just getting off work, eager to relax after a day of hardship. Groups of high schoolers giggling. Couples holding hands and popcorn.

You and Rowena oddly fit in.

Did you look like a couple to observers? Granted, you weren't holding hands, but you'd gotten here together, and you'd exchanged banter.

Friends, people would think. Definitely friends.

A feeling much alike disappointment swept over you. You pushed it down, ignored it. You and Rowena were sort-of-friends. And that was how it would stay.

You cared about her as a friend.

Nothing more and nothing less.

Just friends, you reminded yourself. Just friends.

You paid for the tickets, prompting Rowena to raise her eyebrows in surprise, bought some popcorn, and the two of you went to take your seats. The theater was packed, mostly with teenagers and young adults. Thankfully, none of the faces you saw looked familiar. If they went to your school, you didn't know them.

Not that you were ashamed to be seen with Rowena. But there were some things that felt more private, more intimate. Things that were too special to be spread around school in the form of rumors riddled with half-truths and blatant lies.

Things like watching a movie with a friend. In the dark. Far away from wandering eyes and cruel whispers. From blond, blue-eyed assholes' stares and nasty bitches' glares.

"Treating me, are you?" Rowena said.

"I invited you," you replied. It was only fair that you paid.

"Fair point," she conceded. With a teasing note in her tone, she said, "I take it this is a date, then."

A rush of heat spilled over you, burning at your cheeks. A lump formed in your throat, hard to swallow.

"A total date," you said with as much sarcasm as you could, praying to all deities you could think of that it was convincing enough. Thankfully, the room was dark enough to hide your flushed cheeks, but your voice, your rushed breathing and racing heart were all yours to deal with.

Traitors.

What was wrong with you?

You liked Rowena, but she was still a mean girl. She was still friends with bullies and in a relationship with a jackass. Even if she was single, you would never go out on a date with someone like her.

You only liked her as a friend.

Right?

Right?!

Rowena chuckled. If she noticed you were flustered, she didn't comment on it. "A bit too cheap for my taste," she teased.

"My sincerest apologies, madam. I wasn't aware of your price demands."

"Aye." Her shoulder brushed against yours as she shrugged. "I'm a restaurant girl."

"High end, I take it?"

"What else?"

You had to laugh. "Unfortunately, I don't think there are movies here that'd fit your standards. You'll have to live with it."

She laughed along. "I suppose I will."

"We got popcorn." You offered her the tub. "It's close enough."

She made a disgusted face. "No, thank you."

"Your loss," you said with a shrug and shoved a handful in your mouth.

"You are a pig," she said, not really meaning it. A mock insult from one friend to another.

You playfully elbowed her shoulder. "You're on a 'date' with said pig."

"Starting to regret it."

"If it makes you feel any better, we can blame this all on Principal Shurley. He's the one who made you tutor me."

"Bloody bampot," Rowena said in agreement.

You raised the popcorn up like a glass of champagne about to click against another. "Amen to that."

As soon as the movie started, the murmur of voices quieted down. Your eyes were glued to the screen, adrenaline pumping through you as the characters screamed and ran for their lives. There was beauty in horror; danger that wasn't real but still felt so vivid, fear that made your skin crawl and your heart race in excitement, blood that looked so fresh and bright on the big screen. Not many people understood that. But here, in this room, it seemed like everyone did.

Every now and then your glance would wander to Rowena. This wasn't her scene, but despite clear distaste on her face, she still watched. She took everything in. Every deathly scream. Every shift in music. Every splash of blood. Her body twitched, and you could tell it took everything in her to contain her screams. But, like the strong girl she was, she still watched.

She didn't leave. Didn't even go to the bathroom to get away from it all. She was scared, but she still stayed.

You admired that. Admired the dedication. The stubbornness.

She wanted to be here with you. Wanted to hang out with you.

A pang of regret pulled at your heart.

You never should have doubted her.

A piercing scream suddenly echoed through the room as the killer jumped out from behind one of the few remaining characters. It died down along with the girl as the knife bit into her flesh, slashed her up from the inside out.

A few people screamed along with her.

A giddy smile spilled over your mouth as excitement rushed through you like a potent drug.

And, as if on cue, a hand covered yours, tiny fingers squeezing for dear life.

You looked down, surprised to find Rowena's pale hand in yours, pink nails glittering in the dim light from the screen.

Her eyes were on the movie. Mouth pressed into a firm line.

An involuntary reaction.

You smiled, squeezing back. Her skin was warm on yours. Comforting. Right.

Your hands remained linked for the rest of the movie. Every time a jump scare would pop up, Rowena's fingers would tighten around yours. You would return the gesture. A wordless promise that you were there, that nothing would happen to her. That she was safe despite her fear.

As soon as the credits started rolling, the two of you parted. Neither said a word about what happened. Acknowledged it in any way.

No comments were necessary.

You'd held hands.

Longer than was necessary.

Tighter than was friendly.

And it felt so right.

Like it was the way it was supposed to be.

*****

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