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demonsigh · 3 years

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the hunt

rating: lime/mature pairing: male vampire x gender-neutral reader features: touch starvation, safewords, biting, aftercare, cuddling warnings: blood, fear, being chased, dizziness length: 4240 words

Feeling isolated and craving physical intimacy, a college student agrees to be hunted and bitten by a vampire in exchange for a post-meal snuggling session. Based on this prompt submitted to @monsterkinkmeme by @the-color-of-sound-is-space

You were supposed to meet him at 11 PM, in the middle of Bartleby Park. Vampires were nocturnal and uncomfortable in the sun, so the hunt had to take place at night. But did it have to be this late?

It wasn’t as if you were getting tired. You were something of a nocturnal animal yourself nowadays; college tended to do that to people. But the park was pretty creepy this late at night, eerily empty and unnaturally quiet.

You checked your phone again. 11:10 already. He was late. Had he been held up? Or could he have overslept? That thought wrung a quiet chuckle from you — a sound not at all reassuring to hear in the dark silence of the park.

The “he” in question was a vampire named Roland that you’d met on the internet. You were meeting up so he could suck your blood.

For whatever reason, college towns tended to attract vampires. It probably had something to do with the vibrant nightlife, and the bars that never closed, and parties that only ended when the sun rose. Or perhaps it was the rich history of such places, in the old stone buildings and the musty library books. Or maybe it was just the students themselves: curious and open-minded, over-educated and sheltered and a little bit reckless.

In the modern age, most vampires obtained their food in the modern way: in bags, from blood banks or speciality clinics. But there were those who still swore by more natural methods. Many believed that feeding from the source provided physical and mental health benefits. For others, the desire to stalk, and chase, and bite, was simply too strong to resist indulging. Luckily for all, it was not as difficult to find a willing human victim as one might expect.

You discovered a message board that was dedicated to this macabre economy. Vampires would make posts looking for “prey” — humans willing or eager to be bitten. An arrangement would be made for a night of thrilling and dangerous roleplay, where the vampire played the part of the seductive predator, and the human, the helpless victim.

For most of the humans who posted on this forum, being prey was a kink. They enjoyed the thrill of the chase, and the pain of the bite. It was foreplay to them, and the evening inevitably led to sex after their partner’s more pressing appetites were sated.

You became a little obsessed with this message board. You didn’t think you’d mind being bitten; there was something kind of sexy about it. But you weren’t really trying to get laid. What you really wanted was some quality aftercare, a perk that was frequently offered, requested, and discussed on this forum.

College had become something of a lonely experience for you. You hadn’t meant for it to happen, and you weren’t sure where you’d gone wrong. In your freshman year you’d made an effort to be social, starting a number of casual friendships, but none of them really stuck. You were still close to your high school friends, and you talked to them online all the time, but somehow the number of people with whom you had any physical interaction had dwindled down to zero.

It made you lonely in a deep, nagging way. You wanted a hug. You wanted to hold someone’s hand. You daydreamed constantly about these things, setting up elaborate scenarios in your mind that led to someone safe and warm holding you for hours at a time. You felt like these fantasies were reaching a boiling point in your mind. And one night, after drinking several beers by yourself, you made your own post on that message board. You would let someone bite you (hunt optional), in exchange for an evening of snuggling (sex optional).

And that was how you met Roland. He wasn’t the only vampire who replied to your post, but he was the only one who lived within easy walking distance. You agreed to meet at one of the campus cafes and discuss possibilities over coffee.

You recognized him immediately, although you were pretty sure he didn’t recognize you. He was in one of your classes. You frequently spied him from across the lecture hall, tall and good-looking and unapproachable. You’d always thought there was something a little otherworldly about him, but he mostly just looked like another student. You’d had no idea that he wasn’t even human.

And it turned out he wasn’t as intimidating as he looked. He actually seemed pretty nice, even a little bit shy. He’d never fed straight from the skin before — drinking nothing but bagged blood since he was turned — and he wanted to try it at least once. He wasn’t trying to get laid either. Like you, he was much more interested in the aftercare, hoping for something like a cooldown hug once the deed was done. That suited you just fine.

The plan was this: You would meet in Bartleby Park at 11 PM. The exact location didn’t matter, he said; he would come find you. This statement gave you an unexpected thrill. Perhaps the hunting part would be more fun than you’d thought. You would run, and he would chase you. If you screamed, all the better — although this did make a safeword necessary. You chose “cardboard,” the first word that came to your mind, which made him laugh. When he finally caught you, he would bite you on the neck and drink your blood. Then he would take you up to his apartment for first aid and spooning. Simple as that.

Only he wasn’t here yet. It was 11:20 now, and you were still alone. Maybe he was having trouble finding you. Or… was he backing out? That thought stung. You suddenly realized just how much you’d been looking forward to this, and the idea of going home tired and alone made you feel more depressed than ever.

A branch snapped in the trees nearby, and your head whipped toward the sound. Your eyes scanned back and forth across the screen of dark leaves, trying and failing to uncover the culprit.

“Roland?” you whispered. You hadn’t meant to whisper, but suddenly you were having trouble finding your voice. Your phone buzzed in your hand, making you jump. It was a text message from your friend:

“How did it go?”

“He’s late, I’m still waiting,” you typed in response.

“Ok… Text me again in an hour or I’m calling the cops.”

Your friends had basically all agreed that this seemed like a bad idea. You were starting to wonder if they were right. You didn’t know Roland at all… even if you knew where he lived and where he went to school. Even if he was cute and he seemed nice.

And even if Roland was fine, Roland wasn’t here. It was late, and the park was deserted. Who knew what other weirdos were prowling around out here.

You were starting to feel genuinely anxious. Beneath the trees, the park was dark, the shadows unaffected by the dim light of the street lamps. What was the safeword again? Cardboard? That was it, right?

There was a rapid noise in the grass behind you — tff tff tff — like something rushing towards you in long leaps. That was the last straw. You launched into a flat-out run, heart hammering, breath coming in gasps.

A pair of cold, hard arms wrapped around you from behind, jerking you to a stop. You screamed at the top of your lungs, and then, almost in the same breath, shouted, “Cardboard cardboard cardboard,” all in a rush; sure that the word would mean nothing to this person; that you were about to be hurt or worse.

But cardboard was the magic word. The arms disappeared from around your chest, and in a flash he was standing in front of you.

“I’m sorry,” he said, voice rough, “are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

And of course it was only Roland, the very person you had agreed to do this with. He was staring into your face, expression distressed, hands gripping your shoulders.

“I’m okay,” you wheezed. “It was just… scarier than I expected.”

He was slowly shaking his head back and forth. He looked appalled. “Fuck, I am so sorry.”

You didn’t understand why he was apologizing like that, until you suddenly became aware of the wetness on your cheeks, and the ragged sound of your breathing. Were you crying? God, how fucking embarrassing.

“I’m sorry,” you said, rubbing tears from your eyes with the backs of your hands. “Jesus.”

“No no,” said Roland, “don’t apologize. I think I overdid it. ...And I was pretty late, that definitely didn’t help.”

He was looking around now, frowning into the dark woods, and rubbing your shoulders absently. You were hyper-aware of his hands. They were like ice but every pass of them over your shoulders sent a rush of warmth through you. You felt extremely relieved that he was here, even though he was the reason you’d been so scared in the first place. You wished he would hug you — the desire for this was almost overwhelming — but you felt too dazed and embarrassed to ask.

His eyes met yours once again, and his hands slipped from your shoulders, finding their way into his pockets instead — the exact opposite of what you wanted.

“Uh…” he said. “Do you wanna just skip this part and go straight back to my place?”

A wobbly laugh escaped you, and you nodded weakly. “Are you still gonna suck my blood?” you asked.

“Do you still want me to?”

“Yeah.”

He smiled at that. It was a small, almost shy smile, but enough to give you a good look at his fangs. They looked shockingly white and sharp in the dark.

He started to walk in the direction of his apartment, then paused; and looking back, expression uncertain, he held his hand out towards you. You hesitated for just one second. Then you placed your hand in his, and his cold fingers closed tightly around yours.

“Is this ok?” he asked.

You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak. Your heart was racing again. When was the last time you’d held someone’s hand? You never wanted him to let go.

Neither of you spoke. You wondered if he was feeling as nervous as you were. You’d thought that the scary part was over, but what about what came next? How badly would it hurt when he bit you? He’d never bitten anyone before, he said. How would he react to his first taste?

When you tried to picture it, all you could imagine were his lips pressed against your skin; and his hand cupping the back of your neck, holding you still. They were not unpleasant images. You felt your face heat up, and you were suddenly grateful for the darkness and the cold night air.

It was a fairly short walk. His apartment was a big single-room studio: TV and sofa in one corner, bed and bookcase in another. Rounded doorways branched off into a kitchen and a bathroom. There was a large white-curtained window in the west wall, and moonlight poured in through the glass, illuminating the plush carpet. It was cozy and uncluttered. Roland watched you look around, then looked around himself.

“Maybe in the kitchen?” he asked. He caught your eye, then glanced quickly away. “So we don’t get blood on the carpet.”

How practical. You followed him into the kitchen, forcing yourself to take even breaths as you went. Vampires were supposed to have excellent hearing. Could he hear how fast your heart was beating?

“Want some water?” he asked, opening a cupboard as he spoke. You peered over his shoulder, tickled to see that the only dishes he seemed to own were drinking glasses; no bowls or plates in sight. What would he need a plate for, after all?

He moved around you to fill the glass with water from the sink. He seemed to be avoiding eye-contact, and you wondered again if he was nervous. Somehow the thought made you feel more at ease. Boldly, you opened his refrigerator to examine the contents. Blood bags, and nothing else. Lots of them. Stacks upon stacks, in neat little rows. You couldn’t quite believe it, even though it was exactly what you’d expected to find.

You didn’t know what kind of face you were making, but you were afraid it wasn’t good. You turned toward Roland and found him watching you, expression careful; glass of water forgotten in one hand.

“Yeah…” he said.

“Nothing for me?” you asked, grinning, attempting to break the sudden tension.

He grinned back sheepishly. Then he pulled a little juice box out of the pocket of his jacket. It was the kind of thing they gave you after donating blood. You both began to laugh, and a warm, giddy feeling spread through you.

Roland moved closer and patted one of the countertops. “Hop up here?” he asked. You obliged, although it was more of a scramble than a hop. Roland began pulling more small items from the pockets of his jacket, and setting them on the counter next to you: single-use alcohol wipes; a few band-aids; a little roll of gauze, and a roll of medical tape. It became clear to you that he really had intended to bite you in the park, and he had come prepared.

He was standing very close now, almost pressed against your bent knees. You longed to close the distance. You didn’t move. Roland’s movements also grew slower, more hesitant. Stalling.

“Are you nervous?” you asked.

“Yeah,” he admitted.

“Why?”

He looked you right in the eye, finally. His expression was serious.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said.

“I don’t think it’ll be that bad,” you replied, although you weren’t sure whether you actually believed that.

He frowned, and his eyes travelled down to your neck. He was biting his lip, and his fangs stood out starkly against his skin.

He handed you the glass of water. You drank it. Then you took his hand and gently pulled him closer, spreading your knees wider so he could stand between them. He swallowed visibly.

“I’m nervous too,” you told him.

“I know,” he said, in a hoarse almost-whisper. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah.”

“Tell me if you want me to stop.”

“Safeword?”

“You can just tell me.”

You were both almost-whispering now, leaning in closer and closer. It felt an awful lot like you were about to share your first kiss.

With one hand, he pulled the collar of your shirt away from your neck, while his other hand slid up to cup the back of your neck. Your heart was hammering with excitement and fear, and his cold fingers felt good against your flushed skin. He lowered his face against your neck, and almost before you knew it his fangs were piercing the skin, creating thin twin wounds that ached immediately. You gasped and grasped handfuls of the fabric of his jacket. Honestly his teeth didn’t hurt much more than a needle, but somehow the reality of it stunned you. He was really going to drink your blood. In that moment, for the first time, you really believed that Roland was something other than human.

His lips closed over the wound. His mouth was wet and unexpectedly hot, and his tongue moved rhythmically against your aching skin as he sucked and swallowed your blood. He made a low sound deep in his throat — the type of contented groan that a good bite of food might inspire. You had to hold your breath to keep from responding in kind.

This was erotic. You couldn’t help thinking of it that way. Your grip on his jacket tightened, and you forced yourself not to squeeze your knees more tightly around his waist. You wondered if he felt it too. Was this exciting him at all? Or was this just a meal to him?

You couldn’t have said how long this went on — it was probably minutes, though it felt longer — but eventually he stopped drinking and pulled away. Somehow a piece of gauze was already in his hand; he pressed it to your neck, holding it firmly against the bite. You stared at each other, both breathing unevenly. His cheeks, so colorless before, were now flushed.

He cleared his throat and licked blood off his lips.

“Are you okay,” he asked, voice rough.

“I’m ok,” you said, although you actually felt a little dizzy. You felt around for the juice box. “Was that enough?”

He nodded his head and grabbed the juice box, pressing it into your reaching hand. He seemed a little dazed. He tore open one of the alcohol wipes, and while you drank your juice he disinfected the bite marks. You hissed at the stinging pain, and he grimaced in sympathy. Then he taped a fresh strip of gauze over the bite.

“It didn’t hurt that bad,” you reported between sips.

“Good,” he said. But he was starting to look unhappy again, frowning as he watched you sip your juice. Your heart sank a little in your chest. Maybe he hadn’t enjoyed this as much as you had.

“Are you ok?” you asked him.

He didn’t respond at first. And then he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close against him. You bit back a huff of surprise. He was no longer cold — drinking your blood had warmed his whole body.

“What is it?” you whispered.

He heaved an enormous sigh next to your ear. “You just looked so scared in the park,” he said. You could feel the vibration of his voice against your chest. “I feel really bad.”

You didn’t feel bad. One of his large hands was pressed against your back, warm and reassuring, and the other was cupped around the back of your head. Your chest was pressed flush against his, and he was warm and solid and worried about you. You gave up trying to resist the urge to touch him. You put your arms around him, and squeezed your knees tighter against his waist, pulling him even closer to you. You let your head fall forward to rest against his neck, but as soon as you closed your eyes, the room began to whirl around you.

“Um,” you gasped. “I think I need to lie down.”

“Oh,” he said, a little catch of surprise in his voice. He pulled away. “Um. Let me, uh...”

Carefully, he slipped his hand under your knees, and gathered you up into his arms. You threw your own arms around his neck, shamelessly clinging to him as he carried you out of the kitchen with no apparent effort. He paused in the doorway and looked down at you.

“The bed or the couch?” he asked.

“The bed,” you said against his chest, hoping that this was not too bold. He didn’t seem to think so. He carried you across the room, careful not to jostle you, and gently laid you down on top of the comforter.

“Are you cold?” he asked.

You nodded your head. You were quite cold, actually; another effect of the blood loss.

Roland stood and went over to a small closet, where he retrieved a stack of thick, warm-colored blankets. He shook them out and draped them over you in layers, and their warm weight made you feel better almost immediately.

“Thank you,” you said.

“No problem,” he replied. He stood by the side of the bed, unmoving. He seemed to be struggling for words. “Um… Do you still want to…”

“Yes,” you said emphatically, and you peeled back the blankets to make space for him.

He looked self-conscious, but he didn’t hesitate. He crawled under the blankets, and carefully pulled you into his arms, settling your head against his shoulder. His body was still warm with your blood, and you pressed into him eagerly.

“Is this ok?” he asked.

“It’s perfect,” you said. You placed your hand flat on his chest, then sighed happily, which made him laugh. He laid his hand over yours, curling his fingers around it.

That was almost too much. Your chest felt fit to burst with it. You kept waiting to wake up, sure that you must have dreamt this whole thing. You still couldn’t believe he’d drunk your blood. His teeth had been inside of you. And as much as that weirded you out, it kind of turned you on too.

You suddenly remembered that you were supposed to text your friends back. You shifted around, and Roland loosed his hold on you to let you pull your phone out of your pocket.

“I’m letting my friends know you didn’t murder me,” you explained as you typed. You’d meant it as a joke, but you regretted the words as soon as they were out of your mouth. “I’m sorry,” you hurried to say, turning in his arms to face him, and wincing at the pain in your neck. “I didn’t really think you would…”

He shook his head before you could say anything else. “It’s ok. Biting someone…” He ran a hand through his hair as he thought. “Well, it’s an inherently violent act. Some people get carried away. Your friends weren’t wrong to be worried.”

“I feel safe with you though,” you said.

“Oh. Good.” He ducked his head, and his cheeks turned the pinkest they’d been all night. Your heartbeat stuttered in your chest. He was really adorable… You hadn’t expect that, watching him from afar. You pulled closer to him, putting your arms around him and laying your head against his chest. He tucked the blankets more snugly around your shoulders.

“This is really nice,” you said.

“Yeah,” he agreed.

“How did you like biting me?” You forced the words out before you could lose your nerve. You hoped you weren’t making it awkward, but you had to know.

Roland didn’t answer at first. Then he let out a breath, and slid one of his hands over his face. “Not gonna lie,” he said. “It was way better than drinking bagged blood.”

“Oh, good!” you said, laughing. “I’m glad. I was worried you didn’t like it.”

“I definitely liked it…” he said, still covering his face. “You taste amazing.”

You felt your face turn bright red. There was a double-entendre in there somewhere, although you guessed it was unintentional. I’d like to taste you next, you thought wildly, and once again, you found yourself wondering if you were the only one whose mind had wandered into the gutter tonight.

He seemed to sense your sudden discomfort, if not its source, because he uncovered his face and said, “I’m sorry, that was a super weird thing to say.”

You shook your head against his chest. “I liked it too,” you admitted. “When you bit me.” Then, still more softly: “I wouldn’t mind if you did it again sometime.”

You heard him swallow. “I’d like that.”

You lapsed into a warm silence, untroubled and comfortable, and you basked in his presence like a cat in sunlight. You were aware of every part of him that was pressed against you: his chest rising and falling beneath you, and his hands pressed against your back, and his legs tangled with yours beneath the blankets, chaste but intimate, and ripe with potential.

You definitely wanted to kiss him. You opened your mouth to float the idea, but you were overcome by an enormous yawn. You suddenly realized you had no idea what time it was. It felt really late, but maybe you were just tired out from all the excitement.

“Was I falling asleep?” you asked.

“A little,” he admitted.

“I should probably get home,” you said, but then made no move to get up. You heaved a huge sigh. “I don’t wanna go yet though,” you complained, “I’m so cozy.”

“Do you wanna stay here?”

You lifted your head to look him in the eye. “Stay the night?”

“We don’t have to do anything weird,” he said, turning pink again. You stared at each other for a moment. Then he gently pushed your head back down to his chest, so that you weren’t looking at him when he said, “I don’t wanna let you go yet.”

“Are you sure?” you asked. As if you weren’t already convinced. “I won’t throw off your day? I mean your night?”

You felt him shrug. “I was just gonna do homework.”

That drew a surprised laugh out of you. You’d almost forgotten that Roland wasn’t just your weird vampire hookup. He was your classmate too.

“Do you know that we’re in the same class?” you asked, playfully accusing.

“Yeah,” he admitted, with a bit of a laugh in his voice. “I recognized you when we got coffee.”

That surprised you. “I thought I was the only one,” you said.

“I noticed you sitting in back sometimes.” His hand was still resting against the side of your head, and his fingers moved absently through strands of your hair. “I thought you looked cool.”

“Good,” you said, which made him laugh. You grinned against his chest. “I want to stay. Can I?”

“Yeah,” he said, voice soft, and he wrapped his arms more tightly around you.

#exophilia #monster romance #monster boyfriend #vampire boyfriend #monsterkinkmeme #sighs writing

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procrastinatingsapphictrash · 3 years

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For the blurb/headcanon can i have black widow x reader exercising or swimming together

A/n: Yes you can because holy shit I can picture Nat working out (you know the deleted endgame scene of her in a shooting range???)

You are trying to focus, you really are but it’s distracting. It’s not your fault Natasha is literally the most gorgeous woman to ever exist and somehow unlike most people she only gets more attractive when working out. Sweat lines her body and she breaths out in huffs as she completes pull up after pull up, her muscles on display for everyone to see. You knew she was strong but seeing it in person is a whole different thing. You can’t stop staring and much to your embarrassment she catches you.

“Y/n,” she calls, dismounting from the bars with a perfect little flip, “why did you come to the gym if you aren’t planning to work out?”

“Um, I was,” you try not to stumble over your words, “I just got distracted.”

“By what?” She walks towards you, her head tilted innocently.

You try to think but it’s impossible with her right there looking like that. You can’t very well tell her the truth so you stay silent, trying to avoid her knowing gaze.

“It’s rude not to answer a question Y/n.” she teases. “But since you didn’t answer I might just have to make some assumptions.”

You feel your heart pound. It sounds an awful lot like she’s flirting with you but you’re useless at flirting so you can’t tell for sure. Your mouth feels dry but you decide to take the risk. In the worst case scenario you flee the room and deny you were trying to flirt and then leave the country and change your identity. No biggie.

“What kind of assumption?”

She leans forward. “Well I can assume that since I am the only other person in the room you were distracted by me, would that be correct?”

You gulp at her tone of voice, it’s definitely flirting. “Maybe.”

“Hmmm,” she pretends to think for a moment, “I’ll take that as a yes. I’ve been told I can be very distracting.”

She steps closer and you can’t help but sneak a glace at her biceps. When you look back up at her face your cheeks burn with the realization that you’ve been caught.

“You like my muscles huh?” she asks, her voice low. You nod, not trusting your voice at the moment. She’s about to say something else but gets interrupted by the doors opening and Steve rushing in. Ever oblivious, he doesn’t notice the moment he broke and you frown as Natasha steps away. It was like a dream but Steve had to come at the exact wrong time and now Natasha is leaving.

She stops and turns at the door. “Y/n, aren’t you going to come?”

“Right, yes.” you scramble after her, not caring that you’re leaving your stuff behind when she’s looking at you like that. You’re not sure what you do to warrant that look but you definitely aren’t complaining.

#natasha romanoff x reader #allie's 1000 followers celebration

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alotofteez · 3 years

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Cynosure | KYS + JWY

⇢ Pairing: Wooyoung x Reader (gender neutral) x Yeosang ⇢ Genre: Fluff, angst if you squint really hard, College!au, Soulmate!au ⇢ Word Count: 765 ⇢ Synopsis: Because of the timer implanted in your arm, you have spent so much time fantasizing about the moment you meet your soulmate. But when the time comes, it isn’t what you expected. ⇢ A/N: inspired by the movie TiMER, but unlike the film, the timer shows the countdown regardless of whether or not the other person has the implant.

For as long as you can remember, that number on your wrist has been your fixation. You have daydreamed about every scenario that could happen. You will spot each other across a room and immediately fall in love, because that’s how the Timer works, right? It has to be an instantaneous attraction.

Growing up, you were judged for your parents’ decision to get your implant at such a young age. They were adamant about the technology being the only way to find love; that’s how they chose to find love and it has been relatively successful. It is still a controversial invention even after several decades of being on the market. Somehow, a piece of metal could tell you the exact moment you will meet your soulmate.

That timer on your wrist is also the reason you found your best friend. When you were eleven, you ran into her at a park down the street and noticed your timers matched: 8 years, 4 months, 15 days. The two of you always wondered how it would happen. Will you two be together? Will you still be friends to tell each other about your soulmate encounters?

One of those questions is definitely yes, because, at 19, you attend university together and live as roommates in the dorms. Even with that emotional support, there is overwhelming anxiety that comes with the timer nearing its end. A week before the alert, the two of you decide to cover the timers with bandages so you don’t lose your sanity. When the moment happens, it will be a surprise that comes with a gentle 3 tone alarm.

Simply knowing it’s this week is driving you crazy. Every person that passes you look at them with the hope that a sound goes off. That isn’t uncommon since most of your generation has fallen into the trap of possible soulmates. There has been the continual doubt in you that it’s just a cash grab for some guy looking to get rich quick. You still hope someone is meant to be with you, though.

“Today’s the day!” A voice penetrates your deep sleep, stirring you awake.

Rubbing an eye, you sit up in annoyance. “I told you I didn’t want to know what day!”

“Sorry, I saw it on my calendar and got excited.” Your roommate appears in your doorway.

You groan as you begrudgingly get out of bed. The timer isn’t going to keep you from class no matter how much you don’t want to go. Enrolling in 8 AM classes because your friend convinced you it would be a good idea was the worst idea.

“Can we get coffee before class?” You ask while you go through your morning routine.

“Yeah, we’ll just have to leave a little earlier than usual,” she smiles at you in the reflection of the bathroom mirror. She is such a morning person it destroys you.

After a revised routine, the two of you walk out of your dorm, makeup-less with messy hair. Nothing said end of the semester college student more than looking like a lifeless version of yourself.

“I hope this gets stuck and we don’t have to go to class.” You sigh, leaning against the cool metal wall of the small elevator.

“All we’re doing today is a final review.”

“He posts the review online anyways. It’s not like we’d be missing anything important.”

“Attendance is part of your grade.”

“One day isn’t going to plummet me into failure.” You mutter under your breath.

Before your roommate can lecture you more, the elevator dings and opens its doors to two guys waiting. At that moment 4 timers go off.

“Uh, hi,” The shorter one awkwardly greets you.

Your mind is reeling because you’ve finally met your soulmate… but which one is he?

The four of you stand there with your eyes flicking between each other. The unexpectedness of the situation is obviously shocking and confusing to all of you. You’re rendered speechless at how unluckily this has unfolded. You’ve spent most of your life dreaming of this moment, and now you have no clue which guy is your soulmate.

“I’m Wooyoung,” the guy speaks again.

“I’m Yeosang,” the other adds.

They’re both attractive in their own ways, and you don’t know which you want to be the one. There isn’t a customer support line you can call to find out who is whose soulmate. The Timer company probably didn’t anticipate this happening.

“We should probably get to know each other and figure it out that way,” your friend finally says with a nervous laugh.

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sorryimanon · 4 years

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A Bit Stir Crazy: Pt 2

(Note: I tried to challenge myself on writing smut. It is not my strongest field, but I had fun writing this. Enjoy.)

Warning: 18+

After the embarrassing confrontation the morning of day 16, you found yourself even more on edge. Anything relating to eating, sleeping, and hygiene wasn’t on your mental critia for the rest of the day. Your mind was set on one thing only. Katsuki.

Childish as it is, you didn’t mind lying down in bed daydreaming perfect scenarios of you and Katsuki. Sometimes you’d catch yourself clutching to the nearest pillow , pretending it’s him you’re cuddling . Pathetic. Thank god he didn’t have a telepathy quirk, or else you’d be packing your shit by now. You were in the middle of a good daydream when all of a sudden you hear the painful sound of hardwood being dragged across the floor. It was coming from Bakugous room. Blocking out the sound was impossible, it kept going on for another good 5 minutes. What the hell is the doing in there?

The temptation to yell at him to keep it down was immeasurable, but you were still skittish to show the mere sight of yourself to Katsuki again. For the next hour, you stared blankly at the chipped ceiling, listening to your roommate rearranging the entirety of his small ass room. How could you blame him though? This quarantine has made nearly go ludicrous due to boredem. Some were sadly succumb to becoming stir crazy, which you weren’t denying could possibly be you by now. You also noticed your hormones were more off the rails. Every hour you had the weird inkling to touch yourself. or just once in awhile brush up against the pillow you were holding. You couldn’t help it. No physical or social contact from the outside world for the past 16 days.

Evening struck and you haven’t eaten anything all day. The cereal from this morning made a surprise visit not long ago, causing your appetite to dissipate completely. Although, you did want to get your hands on the left over pizza Katsuki ordered last night. You were about to get up when you heard two loud knocks coming from your door.

“Hey dumbass, don’t think I didn’t notice you not eating all day. I made you some soup since you’re lazy to make something right now.” He sounded agitated, but you knew better that he meant well. “I’ll leave it by the door since I know...you...tch. Just fucking eat. If you don’t I’ll make you okay?”

And with that he left, making it clear for you to hear the door to his room close. You waddle over to the door and open it quickly, scooping up the piping hot bowl of soup. You hate to admit it, Katsuki makes a pretty damn good soup. A little spicy though.

Later that night, you laid on your back, toying with the hem of your panties. The muscles in your arms restricting you from going any further. A sick punishment really. You needed some relief, something to get this feral feeling out of your system. Touching yourself wasn’t a foreign feeling. You had a boyfriend to handle the task for you. Note, had a boyfriend. He randomly stopped texting you one day and after that you assumed he didn’t find you attractive anymore. Which sucks because he was great in bed.

Now it’s been almost a year without any form of sexual pleasure from another person. The thought alone made you groan out loud. I am such a fucking loser.

Your fingers itched closer as the minutes ticked by. Just do it, Katsuki should be asleep by now. With a quick glance at your clock, the red numbers 10:30 stared right back. You sighed in relief remembering that Katsuki has been keen on knocking out by 9:00. The sudden burst of confidence caused you to finally plunge your hand into your panties. The feeling of your index finger brushing up against your clit made your whole body shiver. Oh, it definitely has been a year. Making sure there was no evidence of anyone being awake in the next room, you rubbed the very sensitive bud with a slow and teasing motion. You wanted this session to last a while, so you stopped rubbing and dipped your middle finger into the hole. A soft moan escaped your mouth, with which you quickly slapped your mouth with your hand, trying to cover up any lewd noises you might emit.

10 minutes have past and you haven’t climaxed yet. You were starting to get tired of fingering yourself, noticing the warm sensation in your lower stomach has went away. Then, an involuntary image of Katsuki flashed behind your closed eyes. He was there, above you while looking absolutely feral. His eyes were no longer red, but somehow dilated to the point where they were just plain black. You felt the warmness coming back again as you glance down from his eyes to the placement of his hands. The mere sight made you gasp. Katsuki, with his knees proping himself, had his fingers inside of you. No longer were you covering your mouth, each and every whimper or moan left your throat. Katsuki gave you his infamous smirk and began to thrust his fingers faster within you. You couldn’t help but to clench around his fingers, wanting to get as close as possible.

“That’s it baby, come for me.” Katsuki spoke in a sultry tone.

Surprised by him speaking out, your eyes widened to the uncommon nickname.

“You look so fucking cute like this. Taking my fingers like a good girl...so fucking well baby ah fuck!” He continued with his lewd comments. He kept the usual pace while saying sweet nothings in the air.

“Katsuki...nagh...please make me come.” You pleaded softly.

With that, he curled his fingers inside you, causing a long drawn out moan from you. You felt it, then you finally released once he rubbed the tiny bud that desperately needed attention.

“Fuck, Katsuki...” you said breathlessly, eyes drawn to a close in complete euphoria.

Wanting to look back at the man who delivered you to climax, you opened your eyes to see nothing but darkness. Everything was a lucid dream. Katsuki wasn’t actually here to your beckoning call.

Embarrassed, you slipped on a fresh pair of panties and rolled onto bed, knocking out right away due to your recent endeavor.

Behind the wall next door, a lone Katsuki laid awake with his hand wrapped around his qivering member, breathing harshly after climaxing as well with you. He slapped his forehead.

“Fuck.”

The following morning, you woke up feeling much better. The constant pang in your lower region was gone, leaving you with an obvious glow. Katsuki noticed too when you strutted into the kitchen, wearing nothing but your big tshirt. His mind went ravage there, thinking about whether or not if you were wearing panties underneath. Considering what he heard last night made him think otherwise.

“Sleep well dumbass?” Katsuki asked as you made yourself a cup of coffee. You didn’t detect how smug he sounded. He was leaning against the island, wearing his usual attire of a tank top and sweat pants.

Thinking nothing of it, you answered his innocent inquiry. “Yeah actually. I haven’t slept that well in ages.” You took a sip of your coffee and leaned against the counter, your body mimicking Katsukis position.

Katsuki raised an eyebrow at that. “Oh really? Some type of remedy I don’t know of that makes you sleep well?” Again, you didn’t notice how tauting his tone was.

“O-Oh um, nothing too complex really. Just a simple uh, breathing excerise I did.” You lied through your teeth.

“Ah that makes sense. No wonder I heard you breathing so hard last night” Katsuki snapped his fingers.

You regretfully spit out your coffee, coating the tiled floor with the sugary brown liquid. Katsuki titled his head innocently at you.

“Something I said?”

“N-No I just forgot I left our clothes in the washer last night. I should probably head downstairs now before some creep steals our stuff!” You spewd a last minute excuse and ran out the door before hearing anything from Katsuki.

“Was definitely something I said.”

The laundry mat downstairs was empty. The mornings were usually packed, having either you or bakugou to stand outside the door for an open machine. This time you wish there was people occupying the space.

You had propped yourself on the washing machine, feet dangling a few feet from the floor. He knows what you did last night. He absolutely knows. How stupid of you to not realize his bed was agasint the shared wall. It was agonizingly painful to imagine how Katsuki felt during that haunting hour. He probably threw up to the thought of you touching yourself, specifically to him getting you off. Tears started to threateningly leave your eyes. No matter how many times you tried not to cry during this whole ordeal, a single tear slid down your face. Next thing you knew a whole stream was pouring out both of your eyes. If a person were to come in at this exact moment, they’d think you were a lunatic.

That’s when you heard loud footsteps coming from the entrance of the laundry matt. Deep down you knew who it might be, but you couldn’t muster up the courage to look up. You kept your head down, eyes focusing on your bare feet swaying back and forth. A pair of feet came into view, your knees slightly touching their upper thigh. You lowered your head even more, not wanting to face Katsuki and his judgmental glare.

“Y/N? Look at me,” he demanded.

You shook your head, still keeping it down.

“I said,” he places his finger beneath your chin, raising it to where you were eye level with him. “Look at me.”

You gulped, noticing how angry he looks right now. Is he angry at you touching yourself to him? Or is he mad about something else?

“Listen, I know what you did last night-“

That’s it. You cringed hard at his confession. Nothing mattered right now anymore. Katsuki was just white noise at this point. Dying sounded more appealing than listening to your roomate spiel about how they caught you masturbating. Oh the horror.

“That’s why I think we should please each other for the time while being quarantined together”, he finished.

Wait what.

The look he gave you was unlike any other look you’ve received from him. He was pleading, almost begging, with his eyes. You barely noticed his grasp on your thigh. The grasp grew tighter each second you left him unanswered.

“We both need this. I haven’t had any relief from another person in months...” he admitted while simultaneously rubbing your thigh.

You wanted this more than anything, but you didn’t openly admit that to him. Especially not in an open space like a laundry matt, where someone could walk in at any moment.

“Katsuki...I don’t think we should-“ he caught you by surprise with the sudden impact of his lips. The contact made you both moan into each other’s mouths. The hand that was grasping your thigh earlier soon trailed higher to your inner thigh. His cold hand against your already flushed body was enough to make you climax. When he got courageous enough to place his hand on your waist, you scooted closer to his body, giving him an invitation to step inbetween your legs. He obliged and closed the space between the both of you, using his other hand to cup your cheek. Katsuki grew ansty and bit your lower lip, wanting to gain more access in your mouth. You surrender and let him kiss you tongue first. You closed your eyes in ecstasy, letting him explore your mouth with his expert tongue. Katsuki grabbed your hands and placed them on his head, implying for you to grab a handful of his hair. Once you ran your hands through his blonde locks, his whole entire body tensed up. He quickly detatched his lips from your mouth, pressing his forehead against yours.

“Keep...Keep doing that please.” He whined. You smiled at his approval and continued to rake through his hair.

His whimpers were angelic as you kept tugging on his hair while he kissed you open mouthed.

You both were at it for awhile, making out and touching places that needed attention from the other. When the two of you let go for some air, a string of saliva strewn from both of your mouths. Flustered at the sight, Katsuki licked your bottom lip and gave it a quick peck before lifting your body from the washer. You squeaked loudly due to the aruptness and wrapped your legs around his waist.

The trip back to the apartment wasn’t long. Katsuki was careful not to drop you as he treaded up the stair case. Your apartment door came into view and without hesitation Katsuki kicked it open, breaking the hinges along with it.

“Katsuki! How are we going to pay for that!” You scolded him, playfully hitting his chest.

He chuckled at that and closed what was left of the door with his foot.

“I’m not worried about that right now. Too busy on taking care of you,” he mumbled the last part before attaching his lips to yours again.

Clumsily, the pair of you made it to his bedroom without breaking anything else in the process. Katsuki practically threw you on his bed, your back landing on one of his pillows. He climbed on top of you and observed your whole entire body. Internally you were shaking uncontrollably, but externally you gave the facade that you were completely calm. Katsuki took this as a sign to move his hand under your shirt, still staring at you intently. You felt his fingers inches away from your perched nipple. His hand reached your breast, giving it a good squeeze before pinching it with his fingers. You voluntarily arched your back, wanting him to explore more of your body.

“You like that?” He questioned, still pinching your sensitive nipple.

Answering him by moaning, he used his other hand to trail a line leading up to your inner thigh. He moved up and down slowly in a teasing pace, careful not to touch your heat yet. He replaced his digits with his thumb to rub your nipple in place. His smirk grew wider seeing you squirm beneath his touch. Deep down he always wanted to see you like this. Flustered to the core and whimpering to his subtle touch. He couldn’t wait to see you screaming out in pleasure. He wanted nothing more than to hear you call out his name in pure ecstasy.

As much as you wanted Katsuki to worship your body, the desire for him to fill you was more important.

“Kasu-...Katsuki, please.” You urged on, bucking your hips to meet his.

“Please what dumbass? Hm? Use your words,” he traced the outline of your lips carefully, opening your mouth wider.

“I need you inside me. I want to feel you...” you pathetically begged out him to.

Katsuki saw the desperation in your body language and voice. Swiftly, he pulled your panties down to your ankles, letting you move them aside to the floor. The wetness from your heat was slowly dripping down your thighs. Prepped and ready for whatever Katsuki has in store for you. Your cunt throbbed painfully from the anticipation of his next move.

“You want me now baby?” He seductively said, earning an earnest groan from you as a reply. He kept himself busy by pumping his member through his sweats. His eyes never left you as he thrusted aggressively, smiling during the process when you kept glancing at his actions below. “I can’t wait...to know how you feel...ngh...I bet you feel incredible wrapped around my cock”. A blush creeped its way to your cheeks. His crude comments are getting dirtier, and you low-key didn’t want him to stop speaking his mind.

Never in a million years would you have ever thought of doing something this intimate with Katsuki. If you were to tell yourself, a little first UA student, that you and Katsuki Bakugou had sex, you’d never believe it. Even at this moment, you still couldn't comprehend this was happening. You broke out of your thoughts when you felt the tip of something hovering at your entrance. During your daze, Katsuki managed to get his fully erect member from the tight hold of his boxers and lined it perfectly at your aching hole. He nudges your hole a few times before rubbing against your clit. A fulfilling moan left your throat as he kept going with the tedious motion. You elavated your hips a little in hopes for his tip to enter. Katsuki growled at your impatient state and grounded your hips with hands. You whimpered at the harshness of his grip.

“Keep doing that idiot and I just might make you fuck yourself instead,” he lowered his head to your neck and started sucking on the sensitive area. “You’re lucky I'm going to go easy on you dumbass or else you’ll be begging for me to stop. So, just let me know and I’ll stop”.

Even when he’s about to go feral in your insides, he was still considerate of your feelings, which made your heart beat go bezerk. Thankfully he stopped kissing your neck and dropped his full attention to his cock. You mentally sighed to yourself once you felt his tip circle around your lips. The swelling sensation down below was becoming unbearable to the constant teasing. You couldn’t hold it in any longer, so you wrapped your hands around his torso and purposely shoved him forward. Both of you let out a choked moan once his cock finally entered you. Your walls instinctively clamped tightly around him, feeling the warm flesh inside of you. The action you did elicited a loud whine from Katskui, who was currently shoving his face into the crevice of your neck, shaking from entering your tight walls so abruptly.

“Do I...Do I feel good Katsuki?” you asked, shifting uncomfortably to his stiffness.

He lifted his head from his previous position and grinned from ear to ear. “You feel fucking amazing baby.” He wasted no time to move his hips to sheathe his cock deeper inside you. It didn’t hurt due to you being so aroused and wet. He then started to continuously thrust at a slow pace, making sure you were adjusting to his size. Mouth wide open, you threw your head onto his pillows while clutching the bedsheets.

“Ugh, Katsuki. Please go faster,” you winced at how needy you sounded, but you wanted the relief right away.

Katsuki listened to your command and thrashed himself more into your hole. Sounds of skin slapping on skin and sporadic moans filled the small room. You felt his cock twitch inside you, indicating that he was indeed close. He continued thrusting at a fast pace, occasionally reaching down to rub your clit. Without a doubt, he was hitting your g-spot repeatedly, never once missing it. To feel even more closer to you, Katsuki pushed your legs further towards you, allowing him a better angle to thrust deeper.

“Fuck Y/N...I bet he never fucked you like this. He probably never had you making those cute faces you’re pulling right now, ngh...” he panted between thrusts. “I hated the thought of you being fucked by someone other than me. All the guys you’ve dated are nothing compared to me. I want you all to myself.”

The knot inside your cunt started pulsing by him mentioning his hatred toward your past partners. You screamed when he clamped his sharp teeth down onto your shoulder. For a spilt second, you thought you felt the trickle of your own blood. Next thing you knew, Katsuki’s thrusts became sloppier, indicating he’s on the verge of climaxing.

“God yes Katsuki, please come. Come with me baby!” you cry out.

You being so oblivious, you don’t know how much your voice turns him on. So when you egged him on to come with him, that’s exactly what he did. With one last thrust, both you and Katsuki attach your lips together, moaning out your orgasms into each others mouths. He successfully fills your heat with his seed and freezes in place. He detaches his lips from yours and stares at your dripping core. He had to restrict himself to not shove his cock into you again. After composing himself, Katsuki released himself from you and rolled over onto his side, propping his elbow to get a good view of you. You still recovering from your orgasm. You were gasping for more air, trying to compose yourself.

“Ya know...maybe you could use your energy restoration quirk on me for a round two?” he humorously suggested.

You shifted yourself into a comfortable position on his lap and jabbed a finger under his chin. “Only if this round involves me riding you.”

Katsuki then pushed you roughly on your back again. His eyes were more dilated this time than during your previous intimate moment together. He leaned down and kissed you gently on the lips.

“I like that idea better don’t cha think, idiot.”

Everything after that event changed the course for both you and Katsuki. The mood and tension from before disappeared. Now the two of you couldn't keep your hands off each other. You caught yourself sleeping more in Katsuki’s bed than your own. What was the point of being separated if you two were practically having sex every day? Every hour, minute, and second. It didn’t bother you though. You’d rather jump his bones than read another boring book again.

On day 30 of quarantine, you woke up naked in Katsuki’s arms. You stretched your arms and legs, popping them in the process. Katsuki grunted and pulled you closer to his body. You smiled into the crook of his neck and returned the favor by kissing him on the nose. He scrunched his face, obviously not favoring the random spot you pecked him at.

The night before you two were going at it till 3 am. Not taking breaks for anything whatsoever. It was evident from the display of your clothes strewn everywhere.

You relaxed more into his arms, but your heart stopped once you heard the front door opening. Katsuki was still passed out, oblivious to the disturbance inside your apartment. Your ears picked up footsteps padding their way towards Katsuki’s door. The door knob twisted ominously. Whoever was behind the door was surely taking their sweet time. Before you knew it, the door swung open revealing the last person you wanted see. There stood Kirishima, mouth agape seeing you in the same bed as Katsuki. He blinked a couple of times before raising a weak finger in your direction.

“I guess I wasn’t the only one who got laid during this pandemic!” Kirishima bursted into laughter.

Katsuki unwrapped his arms around you and grabbed the nearest pillow, using his quirk to explode it right at Kiri’s face. The impact ricchoeted him out the threshold of the door, a loud crash coming along with him.

“EVER HEARD OF KNOCKING FIRST SHITTY HAIR!” he yelled, small sparks ejecting from his hands.

You contently sigh. Maybe this whole quarantine thing wasn’t so bad after all.

#bakugo imagine #bakugou katsuki #bnha fic #mha #boku no hero academia #katsuki bakugou x you #katsuki smut #katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugou x reader #bakugou smut #bakugou imagine

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miscellaneous-bnha · 4 years

Text

Naga Aizawa AU

As requested by 🍄 anon.

Unfortunately, this is not a part of the Untitled AU (I’m sticking to calling it that even though I named it), but I’m really glad that I had a chance to write about Naga Aizawa anyway. 🍄 anon is my savior.

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THIS CONTENT CONTAINS OVIPOSITION, BREEDING, AND ONE (1) TIRED SNAKE MAN. DON’T LIKE, DON’T READ. ALSO, IT’S A LONG ONE.

- Aizawa as a Naga in general would be interesting.

- I can def see him sleeping all curled up in sun spots through the day, only really moving when he wants to.

- But then he becomes much more active at night, on the prowl for prey and potential threats to his territory.

- Unusual seeing how cold it can get at night, but effective for him seeing as he blended quite well into the dark with his midnight tail and markings.

- Regardless, as far as he’s concerned, nobody really has the guts to challenge him at this point.

- At least, that was until he met you.

- The scared little mouse that had lost their way into his territory.

- You had heard rumors of half snake people living in these parts, and you really weren’t trying to stray away from the path

- But it was like something in the forest itself was calling out to you.

- According to local legend, the voice of the forest would lead you to your soulmate so long as they were in the forest at the same time as you

- But as you were trembling under the gaze of the Naga before you, the legends felt like cruel, whispery lies to give you false hope

- Now was hardly the time to worry about that, however, considering he looked quite upset to have been interrupted.

- Before you could scramble back to your feet, he was upon you, coiled around you without actually touching you, making you feel trapped and small.

- “Hmmm....” the baritone of his voice sent a chill through you, half with fear and half with mild arousal. You cursed your ape brain silently, squeezing your body tighter.

- “What is a little mouse like you...” he finally touches you, tipping your head to look up at him with a finger under your chin, “.. doing so far away from the path. Hmm?”

- Your lips only tremble as you try to speak, but he presses a finger to your lips to keep you from attempting to speak anyway.

- “No matter... you’re quite lost now aren’t you?” you can only nod, refusing to tear your eyes away.

- You already know that you would never be able to react in time, but your instincts still tell you to keep your eyes locked on him.

- “I figured as much. Unfortunately for you—“ he points up to the darkening sky, “— the sun is going down, and you wouldn’t make it back to town at this rate even if you tried.”

- You swallowed hard, knowing he was right. Maybe the universe really is playing a cruel joke on you.

- He chuckles, running his hand through your hair and ruffling it.

- “Relax, you’re gonna be okay. Human isn’t my first, second, or third choice in food. I’ll bring you to my den to stay the night and lead you back to the trail tomorrow.”

- You squint hard, nose scrunching with doubt.

- “No need for such a sour face, little mouse. If I wanted to hurt you, I would have done it by now.” He winks, “Besides, people get lost all the time; the people of town already know who I am by this point.”

- You furrow your brows, but you suppose he was right. If he really did want to cause harm, you wouldn’t be here pondering the legitimacy of his words. It also made sense about how the village seemed to know of supernatural creatures such as Nagas in extreme detail.

- You figured that— worst case scenario— you were dead either way, and your best bet would be to go with the Naga for now.

- He watches you climb to your feet, shuffling a bit. “... That would be really great, thank you.”

- He smirks and blows a slight laugh out through his nose, unraveling his tail as he moves to lead the way. “Th’ name’s Shouta Aizawa, and who might you be?”

——————————

- You wake up the following morning to the sound of crashing thunder and heavy rain pouring outside his den.

- You rub your eyes blearily, bits and pieces of the night before slowly coming back to you.

- You remember following Aizawa to his den, keeping good on his promise not to eat you as you slept.

- The conversation as he led you through the darkening woods was really quite insightful; what kind of (snake?)person he is, what he does in the area. The kinds of goods he trades with the village nearby.

- You were shocked to learn that the forest doesn’t only serve as home for Nagas, but harpies, sirens, and elemental spirits too. “And those are just a few of the people I know.”

- Though he pretended to be annoyed with talking about his blond haired harpy and the pale-blue haired water spirit friends, the shine in his eye gave him away; he definitely cares a whole lot more than his demeanor suggests.

- It was endearing.

-But that was then and this is now, and “the now” meant you would be stuck in Aizawa’s den for a lot longer than originally intended.

- “It’s no problem,” he’d said once he caught sight of your worried face, “we have more than enough supplies to last us a good long while. Comfortably, if I might add.”

- At that point, you were worried less about supplies and more about the fact that you didn’t want to intrude. “If only I hadn’t wandered off the path...”

- “Hey now, no need to start thinking like that now. You never meant to get lost, and this sudden downpour certainly isn’t your fault—“ the glare he suddenly shot outside made you curious, “— so don't worry about it, yeah?”

- Except, by the fourth week of non-stop rain, it was safe to say you were concerned.

- Sure, it did lighten up to a measly drizzle here and there, but the muddy ground was too unstable to try and traverse without risk. The chances of causing a landslide was too great.

- So it was with a guilty— mostly because of your silent cheers with each rainy day you woke up to— heart you shared yet another cup of tea, lounging back within Aizawa’s coils.

- The two of you had grown particularly close in your time staying here. Though you were originally concerned about the state of your clothing, it turned out that Aizawa had quite the collection in case of situations like these

- So alas, the two of you spent the day chatting away as usual.

- He has been in the middle of telling a particularly interesting story when you suddenly found yourself zoning out at the slight stubble on his sharp jawline

- You supposed it really shouldn’t come as a surprise to you, seeing the ‘nature’ of his species, but you were surprised to see someone so inactive also be so amazingly fit at the same time.

- You don’t know when he had stopped talking, or when the two of you had started falling into each other’s gaze

- But you definitely felt the moment when your lips pressed against his. Starting as shy little pecks until he started to press deeper, coils shifting as he brought you closer to him

- Hands setting your drinks aside, you wrap your arms around his neck as he traps you between a comfortable crook in his tail and his body, his hands resting on your hips

- Your head starts to grow clouded the longer you kiss him, a slight tang similar to citrus but as sweet as candy hits your tongue and suddenly he’s pulling back

- His eyes are blown wide, but you can see the struggle on his features as he catches his breath

- “Shit..” he presses his face into your neck, “I shouldn’t have lost control like that... are you alright?”

- You’re confused by his statement. Surely, he was asking if you were okay with him kissing you, but somehow you knew that wasn’t really what he was asking

- Your thoughts start to wander a little as you start to feel a low burn settle deep in your belly, and you’re almost amused by the idea that Nagas do— in fact— have aphrodisiac properties in their venom

- You can almost tell the exact moment when your eyes become completely glossed over, wet with desire and clouded with need.

- “Fuck... I’m sorry. I should have been more aware. I’ll get some water to help flush out my venom-“ he pauses when he notices the unhappy furrow in your brow.

- “Do... do you not like me like that?” You blurt out before you can stop to think about it.

- he hesitates and you close your eyes, disappointment charging through you, but suddenly they’re open again when he coils around you tighter, chest crushing against your own as he presses his face into the side of your head

- “Of course I do... but I didn’t want it to go this way. I shouldn’t have stayed so close while in my rut like this.”

- “Your rut?”

- he nods solemnly, sighing as he runs a hand through his hair

- “It started some time about a week ago... when I first realized that I’m attracted to you... emotionally and physically.” He presses his nose to your temple and inhales deeply “But I’ve been tryna keep quiet about it... wanted to give you the choice to go if y’wanted.”

- You can hear his words start to slur together. “Y’can stay if y’want... but if y’don’t go now, I won’t be lettin’ ya go. At least not without me.”

- You’re already nodding before you can even think about it.

- “Of course I want to stay... if you’ll have me.”

- There’s a deep rumble reminiscent of a growl in his chest

- “Of course I’ll have you. There’s no one else I’d rather have, little one.”

- You felt a strong shudder run down the length of your spine, but you weren’t given much time to dwell on it before his lips were devouring yours once more, the tangy sweet taste of his venom coming back tenfold.

- The haze of arousal consuming you, however, would have been just as powerful without it.

- The passage of time became non-existent the further you fell into his heat, the more you felt your body give in until you could barely bring yourself to do anything but lay back in his coils

- You felt like you were floating in his arms, giving yourself away completely to his wants and whims, the sultry sound of his voice carrying you through the haze.

- A part of you felt like you should have been more embarrassed; it’s only been about a month since you’ve met this man in a forest you’ve never been to before on an island you don’t even live on, but the thought floated away before you could get a grasp on it.

- “What’s wrong, little mouse?” His nose was buried in your hair, chest puffing with every deep breath he took.

- You shake your head sluggishly, body growing ever warmer as you attempt to pull the baggy sweater off your body. His calloused but gentle hands brushing your middle as he helps you pull it up and off

- The anticipation of what would be coming buzzed under your skin like electricity, but your inability to move very much hindered your movements to try and get him to move faster.

- Sensing your impatience, he merely chuckled before pressing yet another heavy kiss to your lips, the taste of the aphrodisiac thick on his tongue, filling your senses once again.

- You felt your eyes drift shut, your head tipping back as you let out a deep, satisfied sigh, wet lips pressing against the side of your throat, his stubble scraping against you gently. You could barely process the feeling of his teeth grazing against your shoulder before a finger slowly pushed into your hole, curling into that perfect little spot that had stars flashing behind your eyelids.

- The noises you were making sounded muffled to your own ears, heaving breaths silenced by the sound of his low hums and wet lips sucking at your skin. Low words of praise left his lips in abundance, as if keeping them in would be like trying to stop a flood with a lone pebble

- You felt yourself drifting along with the pleasure again, arms stretching above your head as he slowly added two more fingers, mouth pressed close to your ear as he murmured all the things he wanted to do.

- “Gonna fill you up… ruin you completely for any other person.”

- “Gonna make you so full and heavy.”

- “Gotta stretch this tight little hole open... don’t wanna hurt you with my cocks.”

- Your eyes cracked open at the sound of that. Cocks? As in more than one?

- You unconsciously tense at that, causing him to pull his fingers from you as he used both hands to stroke your sides, hushing you softly.

- “s’okay baby… m’not gonna hurt ya. Promise.” He grabs one of your hands, pressing kisses to your fingers before pressing it to his chest, encouraging you to slide it down at your own pace until you reach the spot where his human torso meets his snake half.

- You will yourself to bring your eyes to look down to where he guides your hand, your breath catching when you see two painfully hard cocks, both flushed so pink it could almost be red. The heads of both flaring a bit before tapering into a rounded point, the slit at the top of both weeping with precum with every throb.

- You feel your stomach flip with excitement and nerves all the same as he wraps your hand around the lower one, fingers barely touching. You can feel his eyes watching your expression as you slowly process what it is you’re seeing, the arousal pooling heavier into your stomach as you moan softly in anticipation.

- You feel his lips press to your cheek, more whispered promises of being gentle reaching your ears as his hand goes back to work, stretching you dutifully as you sink further into him.

- You don’t know how long he had kept at it, occasionally stopping the motion of his hand to let a thick rope of spit and venom drip down to your hole, but you squirm and whine when he withdraws again. Before you can open your mouth to complain, you feel both heads press against you, and you don’t have much time to even unconsciously clench before he’s slowly pushing in with a loud groan.

- You’re disappointed that you’re missing the way his jaw probably dropped open from the tight, hot pressure of your entrance squeezing around him as he slowly spears you open, but you can’t help the way your head tips back and your eyes clench tightly.

- He braces his arms on his tail next to head as he bottoms out, growling deep in his chest as he grinds deep, bringing his face down to yours as he captures your lips in yet another deep kiss. He grinds his hips slowly, breathing heavily through his nose when he suddenly grabs your hips, groaning loudly when you feel something heavy spread you before it suddenly felt like it dropped into your lower belly.

- He pulled away with sharp hiss, a soft “fuck” leaving his lips before you felt the sensation again, only the stretch was bigger this time. You feel yourself shudder and moan as you realize he was pushing his eggs into you, your face growing hot. His forehead pressed against yours as he struggled to keep his hips from moving, cut off gasps leaving him with every egg until he had no more left to give.

- “Twenty, huh…? Shit, you look so pretty all swollen like this…” you feel his hands caressing your belly now, his hips rocking gently. You work the energy to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him back down as his pace grows a little more rough, hips snapping into yours with a loud clap as he uses his hands to move your hips.

- You lose focus on his words the longer he fucks into your pliant body, growling and moaning low once he starts to get closer and closer to his own orgasm. With a loud cry, you pull his hips into yours with your legs just as your orgasm rips through you, sending him over the edge. Hot, thick spurts of his fertile spunk fills you as he pins your hips to his, eyes rolled back as he growls and grunts and hisses, a powerful shiver running through him as you both slowly come down from your highs.

- Between the sedative properties of his venom and the exhaustion from having your body filled so well, you barely register the feeling of a cool cloth running over your body as you drift into sleep.

- “yeah,” you grin lazily “I’m definitely not going anywhere.”

#Naga Aizawa #🍄 anon #request #sorry it took so long #bnha au #naga au #bnha naga #bnha aizawa #aizawa x reader #shouta aizawa #TW

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wardens-stew · 3 years

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my review of The Mask Falling - an ode to Arcturus and Paige

For me, the soul of this series has always been the relationship between Paige and Arcturus. It’s apt that this book, the exact middle of the series and as @sshannonauthor describes it, its heart, spends so much time with this pair. The intensity and uniqueness of their bond really emerges as the shining jewel of this series.

It’s clear that Samantha Shannon was intentional about putting Arcturus and Paige on equal footing for the first time in The Mask Falling. She manages the power dynamic between them with such attention and nuance, reversing their roles often and fluidly escaping gender roles. The protector role comes naturally to Arcturus, given his immortal strength and anxiety about losing Paige (it’s even part of the etymology of their names), but for much of The Mask Falling he is her silent shadow, trailing being her and supporting her quietly. They negotiate their differences with refreshing candor and in good faith, their arguments free from ego. “My fear is not your cage,” Arcturus tells her. “I will never ask you to mold yourself to it.” His affection for her is empowering, supportive, never constrictive or diminishing. Paige herself is markedly independent, doing the bulk of her fighting and plotting on her own. When she does seek support from Arcturus, there is no sense of her own strength being diminished, and as often as he rescues her, she turns around and rescues him just as easily.

Indeed, while Arcturus is the immortal god, it is Paige’s power that really shines in this book. Her incredible ingenuity and strength is on full display, getting her out of certain-death scenarios at such a gripping pace I had to cover the pages with my hands to avoid glancing ahead. She couples her incredible powers with extraordinary mental fortitude and an acute conscience; each of her escapades has a satisfying emotional resonance that enlivens her broader quest. Whereas many YA heroines possessed of supernatural power oscillate between immobilizing moral anxiety and moral bankruptcy, Paige tempers her impulsiveness with reason (most of the time) and a powerful motive for justice. It’s clear that she has yet to access the full extent of her abilities, and I’m eager to see what roles she’ll play in the fight to take down Scion.

While previous installments show Arcturus/Warden on various levels of guardedness, The Mask Falling gives us time and space in excess to see his true character. I was struck by his compassion, his hopefulness despite all that he has endured. He is often reassuring and comforting Paige, his optimism clear-eyed and measured. The contrast is especially stark with his persona in The Bone Season, where he appears cold and calculating, morally gray at best. In this book, he is almost unbearably kind, devastatingly sweet and thoughtful. As Paige remarks, “there was nothing terrible before me now.” The almost unimaginable beauty of his character is achieved with such a soft touch; the books are not about Arcturus being the the epitome of goodness - he simply is.

A central thread of tension of this book follows Paige and Arcturus negotiating their relationship and coming to terms with their mutual attraction. Samantha Shannon manages this tension beautifully, carrying it forward constantly with poignant moments of intimacy interspersed with Paige’s honest internal dialogue. The smallest interactions and gestures between them felt so heightened. There are all the classic scenes - getting drunk and saying too much, jealousy spirals about past relationships, almost-kiss scenes interrupted, near-death confessions - all building up to a beautiful and satisfying climax.

Samantha Shannon writes intimacy incredibly well. The love scenes feel specific to the characters, managing to be both meaningful and erotic. Romances between an immortal man and a mortal woman in particular tend to translate the man’s primal instincts and extreme physical strength into a voracious sexual appetite that leaves little room for gentleness and consideration. Arcturus really breaks the mold in this respect. He is so reverent, so sincere, so generous with Paige in a way few male characters with female partners approximate. Rather than relying on an imbalance of power in order to convey eroticism, the sexiness of Arcturus and Paige’s dynamic derives from the equality of their relationship. It’s so difficult to create a heterosexual romance unsullied by patriarchy, and Samantha Shannon gets close to that here.

I wonder if it is Arcturus’ immortal nature that makes him such a uniquely engaging character. Samantha Shannon really commits to that aspect of him - he’s not just a hot teenager. The best word I can think of to describe him is mature. He is so beyond the petty concerns of YA love interests, so ego-less and self-reliant. One of my favorite ways he diverges from human men - and traditional male love interests - is his lack of fixation on Paige’s physical appearance. This book has several of the classic moments that would typically elicit a remark or a look from the love interest on the heroine’s appearance, often framed as a cute romantic moment. Yet when Paige dresses up, or dyes her hair - even when she asks him outright - he never comments on the way she looks. “A human might have whispered in my ear, told me I was beautiful or perfect, but not him.” I love that. I’ve never found that lustful, almost predatory demeanor in male love interests nearly as sexy as the author would like it to be, and it always rubs me the wrong way when the man telling the woman she’s beautiful is framed as the epitome of romance. It strikes me as a very lazy way to convey attraction, for one thing, and it reeks of benevolent sexism. Arcturus never plays into those supposedly romantic tropes of disparaging other women in favor of the heroine or being selectively kind. His love for Paige is so pure.

I continue to be impressed by the sheer scale of worldbuilding in this series. Many books attempt to create fictional tyrannical governments, but few succeed in building one as convincing and elaborate as Scion. The Mask Falling peels back even more layers of this complex world, bringing to fruition seeds planted in the very first book. Although the basic plot leans on some familiar tropes, Samantha Shannon always manages to add an additional twist of the screw. The complexity of this series is truly extraordinary, drawing on etymology and mythology, dropping mysteries and complicating loyalties with incredible dexterity.

SPOILERS!!!!! --> I am still struggling with Arcturus’s possession and Paige’s failure to connect the dots and realize the reality of his situation. I see Samantha Shannon has pointed out on Twitter that Paige’s trauma and illness may have affected her judgment and decision-making. She says, “There's a particular scene where Paige reacts to an event in a way that is so deeply rooted in her PTSD and past experiences.” (I assume this is the scene she’s referring to.) I think that’s fair - Paige has been so inundated with the Rephaite aversion to humans that it’s almost as if she only needed one piece of evidence to confirm her doubts and destroy her trust in Arcturus. And it’s not as if she just takes it at face value, either - she does question him and try to convince him otherwise. But I still can’t help feeling that it’s a stretch. The Mask Falling makes Arcturus’ character so clear that the prospect that he would be loyal to Nashira the whole time is just ludicrous. Not to mention the fact that Paige somehow overlooked the obvious signs that he was being possessed. His eyes were such a dead giveaway - Paige had already seen that same thing happen when she possessed him! And when he moved to strike her and then suddenly stopped and his eyes flared - come on! That’s a classic mind-control trope. Paige is usually so perceptive, and they had built such a strong foundation… it feels unrealistic that she wouldn’t have connected the dots just because she hadn’t thought there could be another dreamwalker.

If I had to find fault with this book, and it is difficult, I would say that it leans a little too heavily on some YA dystopian fantasy tropes towards the end - the mind-controlled love interest, for example, instantly made me think of Divergent, The Hunger Games, The Mortal Instruments, etc. Likewise, the forced memory loss is a fairly common fantasy trope that tends to be really frustrating to read. I have faith that Samantha Shannon will keep it from sliding into those tropes, and of course there remains so much mystery still to be untangled from those final 100 pages. /END SPOILERS :)

This was the kind of book that captivated me immediately, left me lying awake at night and had me eating energy bars for dinner so I could keep reading. It was such a visceral, immersive experience, the kind where returning to the physical reality is almost physically disorienting. It’s been two days since I finished it and I’m still clinging to that fictional world, wishing I didn’t have to leave. Books like these are rare for me, and I’m still marveling at the miracle of finding that book that in Arcturus’ words, exists for everyone: “a book that will sing to them.”

#the mask falling #the bone season #arcturus and paige #warden and paige #the mask falling spoilers #spoilers #review #otp #Samantha Shannon

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m11lkbre4d · 3 years

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A fluffy smut by Denki and dom!Jirou

Ship: Denki x Jirou

Description: Denki has had a crush on Jirou for a long time now and he finally decides to act on it, eventually leading to him being tied to Jirou’s bed by his school tie, begging at her mercy. *It starts as bdsm but turns vanilla later on*

Warnings: Smut with No Plot, initial BDSM (dom!Jirou, sub!Denki), bondage

Both Denki and Jirou are 3rd years and are 18!

Word count: 1139

************

Jirou smirked lightly looking at the way the boy under her shivered at her every touch, every word. The boy was none other than Kaminari Denki, the hero in training who currently had both his hands tied to the edge of his crushes bed. He didn’t realise he was holding his breath until he had to gasp for air as Jirou dragged her hand across his bare chest, outlining his lightly defined abs, moving towards his v-line and crotch area. ‘J-Jirou~ please…’ he begged, not sure what he was begging for. ‘Please what?’ Jirou smiled innocently.

Oh that smile, that was the smile Denki admired from afar for months. Other than the occasional flirting he offered to the girl, which was almost always left unreturned, he kept his distance wishing for the day he would ask her out, not as a joke but seriously. If he told the past Denki that Jirou would be dragging her oh so beautiful hands across his nipples in a few months, looking at his eyes with nothing but lust and desire, the buttons of her UA uniform undone, showing the dark blue bra and-

‘Jirou~’ he moaned as Jirou lightly grabbed a hold of his neck. ‘I asked a question, didn't I?’ Jirou said, very aware of how cruel she was being but refusing to let him hold any power whatsoever of the situation. ‘P-please touch me Jirou- please please I-i am begging yo- Jirou pleas-’ His desperate whines was cut off when Jirou leaned in to kiss his lips, sliding her tongue into his mouth. His eyes widened slightly, despite the position they were in, this was their first kiss together. This wasn’t how he would imagine their first kiss to be. No matter what he made himself seem like, Denki was a hopeless romantic and always pictured their first kiss to be in a park or the beach, somewhere public enough to keep them on their toes but private enough for the kiss to last a few seconds, but he wasn’t complaining, not at all. He closed his eyes and gave in to her control, mirroring her movements and kissing back passionately, unconsciously humping his hips to the air for some sort of friction, even if the said friction came from the tightness of his school trousers. He felt her smirk a little which filled his stomach with butterflies. Jirou slowly backed away from the boy and admired the mess that was him. His eyes slightly closed, still recovering from the kiss, his cheeks were burning with a vibrant shade of red, his blond hair a complete mess and his mouth parted with a little bit of saliva coming out of it.

She thought about how pretty he looked at that moment, he wished she could take a picture of him to commit it to her memory forever, she had always found him attractive but there was something about him being under her complete control, begging for any sort of release. All the times where he would jokingly flirt with her where she left him unattended and the one time she responded back that led to him being in this position. She found it hilarious how quickly she was able to make him drop his confident cocky façade and get him to submit so willingly. She started removing his trousers, giving him a kiss on the forehead, causing him to crack a slight smile that made her stomach flip with adoration. After removing his trousers, leaving him only with boxers on, outlining the very obvious bulge. ‘I-its not fair.’ Denki mumbled. ‘What isn’t? Are you okay? We can st-’ Jirou panicked but was cut off by Denki. ‘T-that you’re still dressed.’ Denki smirked and Jirou let out a smile, even in this position he could be his cocky teasing self. The girl slowly removed her white shirt which was already unbuttoned and moved to remove her bra but heard Denki struggling before she could. ‘Can I? I w-want to remove it.’ The girl smiled and moved to untie his arms free from his red school tie. As soon as Denki’s arms were free he quickly grabbed a hold of the back of Jirou’s head, bringing her close to his face. He smiled. ‘I wanted to do this for so long, so please let me.’ ‘S-Sure’ the girl mumbled out, somehow embarrassed to be centimetres away from his face. He sat up and pulled her to his lap, her sitting right on top of his clothed erection. He smiled before holding her face gently with both of his hands and pressing his lips to hers. They could both sense the change in atmosphere, everything seemed more sensual now, more intimate and heartfelt than the previous powerplay and they both seemed satisfied.

Jirou smiled into the kiss, relaxing her shoulders and letting herself relax in the embrace of Denki. Denki’s hand moved towards Jirou’s shoulders, playing with the straps of her bra. He dragged his calloused fingers to the clasps, removing the piece of fabric and staring in awe. ‘I- i know they’re a little small.’ Jirou chuckled, mainly making the self deprecated joke to cover up how insecure she was about her breast size. The joke only caused Denki to be frustrated. Here’s the girl he was admired from far away for months, making a joke at her own expense, essentially bashing the features he has craved for so long. The countless nights he stroked himself thinking of this scenario right now, the beautiful curves of her body. The lengths he was willing to go to see her breasts, to kiss them- Denki pressed a small kiss to the top of her left boob- to lick them- he moved to the other boob, lightly licking the nipple- to grab them- he took his left hand and gently grabbed her breast, owning a soft moan to be heard from Jirou. After he was satisfied with her moans, he moved away, looking at the girl’s eyes. ‘You’re gorgeous.’ From the way her face lit up, that short sentence was enough to make her feel assured but he continued, he would not allow Jirou of all people to feel self-conscious. ‘They’re exactly as I imagined.’ ‘Imagined huh?’ Jirou asked with a smirk. He nodded. ‘I’ve thought about this exact scenario way too often than a healthy amount.’ He slowly laid Jirou to her back, getting on top of her. ‘I imagined kissing them-’ he pressed a kiss to both of her breasts. ‘-leaving marks on them.’ He started to suck the soft skin on her left boob, earning a soft moan from the girl and leaving a red tint behind that he knew would turn into a much darker shade in a few minutes. He felt a beam of pride on his chest. ‘You’re perfect’

A/N:

lol uhm this was my first time writing smut explicitly hopefully its good?? Feel free to give criticism of any request, i would be more than happy to respond and write similar things.

Also like I have no idea how to finish a smut someone pls teach me SDKLJA

#bnha jirou #jirou x denki #denki kaminari #mha jiro kyoka #denki headcanons #bnh #my hero imagines #my hero academia #smu #mha fanfiction #mha smut #denki smut #kyoka jiro #jirousmut #fanfic

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mcrmadness · 3 years

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This is just me talking about (my) asexuality and aromanticism and mainly about how I figured I'm aroace. I'm from Finland and recently turned 30 so my experience and "lgbt+ history" might not be what you know it as, especially if you are not from Europe, or if your native language is English.

Also this is highly personal, so I doubt anyone here will have 100% same experience. But that's fine because remember: we're all individuals here and these are NEVER universal. You're still valid even if you wouldn't relate to what being aspec is to me.

It might be IS a long post so beware, but I've just been feeling like writing down some thoughts so here we go...

What I have been able to track is that I was 17, in 2008, when I first stumbled upon the term "asexuality". I don't remember exactly how, but I just remember reading about it and immediately going "yeah that's me". But what I do remember is that no one talked it being about sexual attraction. Basically how understood it was: asexuality = sex-repulsion.

I was 17, and somehow I knew I was sex-repulsed, but at the same time also thought I'm just a minor, so it's normal to be sex-repulsed. But even after turning 18, I don't recall ever feeling sexual attraction. I didn't think of myself as a "late bloomer" but just as someone who just has no interest towards sex. At some point I became really anxious of men, however. Nothing has ever happened to me* but still I, for some reason, developed terrible fear of men. I'm afab and just did not want to be seen as an object, and it made, still makes me, terrified to think someone might look at me and have Emotions. I know that we can't control our brains, I mean, I can't look at someone and force myself to feel attraction - just like those who do feel attraction, can't force themselves to stop feeling attraction. They can only control their actions. But yeah, I also had horrible (sexual) intrusive thoughts due to my generalized anxiety disorder at some point, which did not really help. They got a bit better when I came into terms with my asexuality and aromanticism, but sometimes they still come at me and it's never fun, but at least they're not as strong as what they used to be.

*(Unless if you can count that as sexual harrasment when, CW, I was 11 and a classmate was "into" me and tried to touch my face and talk "sweet things" to me but made it into a show despite me being uncomfortable and usually crying cos as a neurodivergent I didn't know how else to react.)

But anyway, back to the topic. So for years I understood asexuality as sex-repulsion, but I guess it's because I, well, am a sex-repulsed ace. So if I'm sex-repulsed, why would I then look at someone and feel something if I'm repulsed by the thing anyway? Like, it probably can't get any simpler than this :D And I know today that it's not as simple anymore. But that was 2008, at school (in ~2005) they only talked about gays a little, on one page in a sex.ed. book that otherwise was maybe 100 pages long. Only one page. About gays. And it was basically "Some boys like boys or some girls like girls and it's totally fine." and that was it, but the overall assumption was that everyone likes someone. And also there were no romantic orientations. Liking someone = both sexually and romantically. Not liking = not a thing except when you were depressed or otherwise mentally ill, or autistic or mentally disabled (which is a SUPER ableist take btw). I don't remember teachers ever talking about this, but it could also just be my adhd, maybe they did mention, but I just don't remember. At least in my notebooks there is no mention of this, everything was very much heteronormative and amatonormative, and also there was only two genders. I don't remember ever hearing about transgender people, apart from foreign documentaries and in them they were always portrayed as some shocking freaks of the nature, and loads of wrong terms were used. And this is still the mid and late 2000s we're talking about!

So this takes us to the other part aka aromanticism. Back then asexuality was not only sex-repulsion but also merged together with aromanticism, because people didn't talk about romantic orientations yet. So asexuality was not only sex-repulsion, but also you simply just not wanting a relationship. Again, nothing about attraction, just someone who did not care about sex nor relationships. A "forever single", if you will.

This was already annoying me a lot back then because I was really annoyed by sex "running the world". I was so angry because why is asexual the only sexuality that doesn't like sex? All the other sexualities had the assumption of them always wanting to have sex. Like, even think about someone who is straight, you hear that someone is straight, and you automatically assume(d) that oh they're into sex too cos why wouldn't they be. This was really driving me nuts because I was sure there are people who want to have a partner, but never want to have sex! I was still experiencing crushes, and I knew for sure it was nothing sexual, so it annoyed me that just because I'm asexual, it means I can't have crushes. That's why I actually called myself as "asexual bi" for a while, because "bisexual" indicated I would have not been sex-repulsed and I wanted to point out that I'm NOT into sexual things, at all - and remember that this was still the late 2000s or early 2010s and I had not heard of romantic orientations yet! So I was up to something, there just were no terms for that yet! Today that would be called bi-/panromantic asexual.

I haven't been able to track the exact date or even year when did I figure out I'm aromantic, or when did I hear about romantic orientations for the first time. From the messages I've been able to find, I was already in my early 20s. Aka somewhere around maybe 2011-2013. In those, I have still been wondering what I am or if I even want to have a relationship, not being really able to tell what I wanted or didn't want. Again, no one told me romantic orientations are about ATTRACTION and not about whether you have commitment issues or not (this as a half-joke, cos I have severe commitment issues with everything :D I need to feel free!).

Anyway, I do remember my key moment with aromanticism, or the "aromantic awakening" as you could call it too, was when I was 17 or 18. Or maybe I was older? I don't know, I have time blindness. Anyway, I had this one online friend I had a "crush" on (I think it was just undiagnosed adhd's person hyperfixation) and I even told her about it. Everything just is super shady, from those years, I was not really on my best and there are so many overlapping memories that feel like different alternative universes instead of memories on a same timeline. Anyway, I just remember at some point thinking about this girl and I thought about some "romantic" stuff, like kissing, and I just remember my brain going "NOOOOOPE!" I had wanted to meet with her some day so bad, but when I started thinking about actually meeting with her, I started to nope the fuck out. All I had in my head was awkward embarrassing "first kiss" scenarios from movies and I just was not having it! I basically went "lol I guess I'm aro too, then XD" but I still don't remember when did I have this realization. Was I 17? Or was I, say, 22? I guess I need to go through my old MSN Messenger and Skype convos some day to investigate this further because I really want to know. I couldn't even find anything from my Tumblr from those times (I registered here in 2011), but I don't know if that's just me not tagging or Tumblr search functioning normally (aka it never finds anything).

But yeah, I am touch-repulsed. And kiss-repulsed, and romance-repulsed, too, (unless it's my OTP we're talking about). I'm still not exactly sure if I'm touch repulsed because I'm aromantic, or if I'm aromantic because I'm touch-repulsed. I only know that because of my sensory issues (I'm neurodivergent), I have never liked touching nor being touched. Even as a little kid I hated hugs and never liked sitting on anyone's lap. I only tolerated my parents, mainly my mom, because they were my safe place as an extremely shy baby/toddler/kid, who was especially wary about men. I can't explain the latter, but there was something about adult men that caused me (as a baby) to hide my face against my mom's shoulder if they talked to me. I did that to everyone I didn't know, but especially to men I didn't know. No idea why.

I also remember how my siblings loved to sit on people's laps and were always climbing onto their laps, and I didn't like this. And once my (late) grandma was so touched when she asked me if I want to sit on her lap (I was maybe 5-7?) and I agreed just to make her happy. I still remember how it felt, and I did not like it at all, but it still made my grandma so happy that I THINK she almost cried when she told my mom I actually agreed to sit on her lap. I'm not sure how real this last part of the memory is because I was so young. But I do remember thinking I do that for a change because I knew my grandma would be happy.

So yeah, my touch-repulsion is not exactly a new thing but just something that has been a part of my personality forever. But is that the core reason for why I only feel aesthetic attraction? I never look at people and feel like I wanna touch. More of the opposite, the idea of having to touch them or them touching me makes me go "eeewww". If you have seen that video of a gibbon shaking their whole body after seeing a rat in their exhibit? That's what I feel like when I think about touching or being touched, in just any way, also platonically.

The only time I feel "sensual attraction" is when I see photos or videos of animals. The urge to pet a tiger is insane. But the feel of another human's skin or muscle (or hair or whatever) is very repulsive to me.

I still remember how disgusting it felt to e.g. sit on a cousin's lap. We sometimes used swings like this, and somehow I was aware of it not feeling nice, but still not doing anything about it cos it also was okay? Only later I have realized I really, really loathe the texture of human skin. Or the warmth and overall feeling of a human body. For example, I was at least 7 or younger when I sat on my cousin's lap while we were sitting on a swing and STILL, after over 20 years, I have that all in my body memory. I remember how the thigh bone felt under my legs and how freaking disgusting the muscles felt inbetween. Also at school, on the 1st grade, we often had to walk in a line of twos after the teacher and hold the pair's hand so no one gets lost. My then-friend had so ridiculously dry skin that the only thing I could think of was how I felt like throwing up because the skin on her palm felt so damn disgusting. I still can feel that in my hand when I think of it. That's one of my "core memories" from 1st grade - how disgusting the human skin can feel like.

I don't think I have ever felt actual romantic attraction towards anyone. It's really difficult to differentiate because as I mentioned, I get those people hyperfixations easily. I guess it's the same hormones but I never really want to do anything with them? I guess it's the emotional intimacy that "attracts" me and what gets me excited, but I'm still not exactly sure what emotional intimacy means to me. I don't exactly fall into the QPR category either, in a way I wish I had a best friend whose best friend also I would be, and that neither would have anyone else who is "better" than the other one. But the only intimacy there would be emotional intimacy, nothing else. And I need my freedom so I wouldn't move in with any human being, either.

Sometimes I've thought my "ideal partner" would be a robot because if I get annoyed, I could just turn it off and stuff into a closet and leave there, and if I felt like not having a "relationship" anymore, I could just remove the harddrive and destroy the robot, or both. That way I would be the only one with the memories, and I wouldn't have to worry about someone out there knowing things about me, things that only the closest can know, and I'm really afraid of letting anyone close in case it won't work (also with regular friendships) because I can't stop thinking about how much I wish I had that MIB memory cancelling device so that they would again know almost nothing, or at least much much less about me. There's already one friendship that ended a few years ago and I still keep thinking about how I wish I could take everything back and how I wish they delete(d) all the files and drawings and stuff I sent them. There are so many things about me I wish I never told them, now as we are no longer friends. Back then it felt like "of course this is gonna last a lifetime!" but turns out that nope, not all friendships will.

I guess it's time to stop rambling. This post is really long already. If you read it all the way here: congrats. And thanks. You probably just wasted your time but... that's on you I guess :DDD But yeah, some thoughts from a 30-years-old aroace who has been aware of their identity for at least or almost 10 years now.

#mcrmadness' deep thoughts #asexuality #aromantic #aroace #aspec

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imnotoverlyobsessive · 3 years

Text

Aight my dudes here’s chapter four of Oopsie Daisies have fun. Thanks again to @edward-or-ford for editing!

Looks Like Someone Picked a Whole Bushel of Oopsie Daisies Chapter Four: Shadows

You’re all I want and I don’t know why. This new addiction is all I know, and it’s safe to say that I’ve lost control. - 2 in the Chest, 1 in the Head, New Years Day

Mabel knew a great many things. She knew how to fix rips in tights and leggings without making it noticeable (and if it was noticeable, it was fucking fabulous, okay?). She knew how to straighten and re-curl her hair in just the right way. She knew how to contour her makeup to change the way her facial structure appeared, and how to paint a mug while keeping it dishwasher safe.

Mabel was, of course, interested enough in those things to learn about them. What she was not interested in is how things work. It was far more important that they do work rather than how, as far as she was concerned. So whenever her Grunkles, dad, and Dipper got together to watch a marathon of How It’s Made on the Shack’s frankly ancient TV, both Mabel and her mom were bored out of their minds.

She was forced to learn plenty in school, thank you very much. It was winter break. She didn’t wanna learn on winter break. Gross. That’s the exact opposite of what winter break is for, and Mabel was of the opinion that doing otherwise is positively blasphemous, but under the careful tutelage of her mother, she’d long since stopped trying to understand the males of the species. Or rather, the males of her family specifically (she’d managed to obtain a vague grasp on the male minds outside of her family, or at least some of them, she thought. Perhaps the boys at her school were just easy to read, or maybe it was teenage boys in general. Not that they were strictly logical in her mind, of course; she just understood how their brains worked to some degree).

And so, an hour after they return to the Shack from the hike, Mabel found herself standing at the kitchen counter, carefully stacking the fifty-seventh (she hadn’t counted, of course, but it was indeed the fifty-seventh) mini marshmallow on top of its companions in her mug of hot chocolate while the beginnings of their silly show blared in the background.

She was humming an old BABBA song as she plucked another marshmallow from the bag, swaying her hips back and forth to the beat in her mind. She stopped when she heard the sound of footsteps, looking over her shoulder to see Dipper shuffling into the room on socked feet.

He was looking everywhere but her. Mabel found this unusual, but what was infinitely more odd was the way he walked over to her quietly, dropped a folded piece of paper at her feet, and then promptly moved to open the fridge as if nothing at all had occurred.

Dropping the marshmallow into her mug, she reached down to retrieve the paper.

“Uh… Dip, you dro-“

“What do you think I should have to drink?” Dipper cut in quickly, the words sloppy and thrown together without proper enunciation.

Mabel blinked. He didn’t want her to ask about it, that much was evident. A note for her, then, perhaps? A secret note?

“Well… I’m having hot chocolate, myself,” she suggested.

“With an obscene number of marshmallows, I see.”

Mabel gasped and put a hand to her chest. “Me? My dear brother, I am positively offended that you would even suggest such a thing!”

He grinned. “Maybe I’ll have some more cider.” He poured himself a glass and left the room before Mabel could think to ask about the paper again.

Glancing around to make sure nobody was coming, she turned back towards her mug, just so, if needed, she could shove the paper into her sweater pocket unnoticed and pretend she was still preparing her hot chocolate. She unfolded it carefully. Dipper didn’t write her handwritten notes. She was a bit excited (more than a bit, but she would never admit to such a thing). Sue her. His handwriting was messy, and she had some minor difficulties reading it, but she did manage to decipher it after a brief moment of staring at the page.

I need to talk to you in private. Once everyone’s gone to bed here, I’ll pick you up from Candy’s. I’ll text you if anything goes wrong.

In private? Mabel’s heart might very well have stopped. She’d never been alone with Dipper. This afternoon had been the closest she’d ever come to it. Even then, though, they hadn’t been actually, truly, genuinely, legitimately alone. Their parents had been right there. And then they’d been interrupted. Their parents were always there.

She was so nervous, so focused on the way her heart was pounding in her ears, that she completely forgot to put the marshmallows away.

—————

If Mabel could see how nervous Dipper was as he pulled on his jeans and shoes, she wouldn’t have believed it was in any way related to her. If it was somehow proven to her that it was related to her, however, she would have been thrilled beyond all measure.

But Mabel couldn’t see Dipper, as he was on the other end of a text message that read leaving now, and so she remained wholly unaware of the absolute terror he wasn’t bothering to keep from his facial expression, as there was none of the usual audience present.

With no one around to request an explanation, Dipper felt no need to keep his anxiety in check as he placed his shaking foot on the last stair of the Shack.

He was about to walk over to the coat rack by the front door when-

“Dipper,” rang out his father’s voice, the low tone sounding like a roar in the quiet of the house.

Dipper whirled around to face his dad, who was seated in an armchair hidden in the shadows of the living room. It was no wonder Dipper hadn’t noticed him before he spoke; he could’ve been a shadow himself.

Dipper was relieved it was too dark for Mr. Pines to see his expression clearly, the man’s face obscured by darkness. He instead concerned himself with his body language and voice. He hunched himself over as if he were barely awake and faked a yawn.

“Dad, you scared me.”

“What are you doing up this late?” Mr. Pines asked.

“Getting a glass of water. Woke up thirsty,” Dipper explained, careful to keep his voice tired-sounding.

“Mmm,” Mr. Pines nodded. “Kitchen’s that way,” he pointed in the opposite direction Dipper had been walking in, as if Dipper didn’t live there and was not fully aware of the Shack’s layout (note: Dipper was indeed fully aware of the Shack’s layout and could certainly navigate it half asleep).

“Huh?” Dipper said with false bleariness. “Oh, right.”

Shuffling into the kitchen, Dipper poured himself a glass of water and moved sluggishly back to the living room with it in hand.

“Goodnight, son.”

“Night, dad,” Dipper mumbled with more fake sleepiness.

If Mabel had seen it, she wouldn’t know what to feel. But she hadn’t seen it, because Dipper was on the other end of a dad’s awake, we’ll have to tomorrow text.

She also couldn’t see the expression he made when she replied, asking why he couldn’t just text it to her, and not to keep her in suspense, nor could Dipper see her inflamed face (and neck and ears, if we’re honest, but don’t share such observances with Mabel) or the way she was biting her lip nervously, perhaps he might not have been as nervous. Perhaps he might have even been hopeful.

But alas, neither twin had the other in their sight, and were therefore doomed to be eaten alive by their anxiety and respective insecurities.

If one knows anything about teenage girls (and perhaps even a fair percentage of women as well), one is fully cognizant of the rather unfortunate tendency many of them have to analyze, reanalyze, and overanalyze each individual word, action, and tone of voice that emerges from the object of their affection.

In Mabel’s case, she was seated on the cold tiles of Candy’s bathroom, back leaning against the locked door. It was late enough that Grenda and Candy were asleep, thankfully. Recently, Mabel had been taking forever to fall asleep. Which was strange, because she had never had any issues that could be anywhere near insomnia before. Thus, everyone else fell asleep before she did.

It wasn’t her fault. Honestly, it wasn’t! It was just that Dipper was so damn attractive and sweet and funny, and how could she sleep when she could only fight her thoughts of him while conscious? He plagued her dreams, so she couldn’t even escape him in sleep the way she used to be able to do. He had invaded her every thought, every moment, every breath. He was in her bloodstream. In her veins. She could not escape her yearning for him.

And so, as she sat on the bathroom floor staring at her phone, at Dipper’s last text of I need to tell you in person, she typed out a slow, resigned okay and leaned her head back against the door.

What was going on with him? He’d told her so many things over text before and it had never been an issue. Why was this different? Maybe he was only insisting on telling her in person because they were so close distance-wise, which wasn’t a regular occurance, of course, but maybe he’d have been perfectly fine with telling her whatever it was over text if she hadn’t been visiting Gravity Falls? Or maybe he’d want to FaceTime or Skype instead? Or maybe it was so very important he tell her in person that he’d actually been waiting since the last time they had seen each other?

But what could be so important? How was it so important he needed to tell her in person? Was it truly so different than every other thing he’d ever told her? Countless stories and anecdotes and complaints and late-night phone calls and existential discussions; how was this different?

No matter how much she thought and analyzed it (which, rest assured, was a great deal indeed), she kept coming back to one thing, one unthinkable, horrifying, terrifying, heart-wrenching, devastating scenario:

What if he’d found his soulmate?

What else would have been so important, made it so essential he told her in person? The more she thought about it, the more it made sense.

Dipper had never mentioned how he felt about the prospect of having a soulmate. He knew how she felt about hers, and having a soulmark, but he’d never shared his own feelings with her in return.

Which was fair, honestly, because soulmates and soulmarks were intensely personal things. She might as well have asked him to strip down and do some nude modeling for her (which, side note, that sounded positively heavenly. She never drew him or painted him where anybody could see; only in the secret sketchbook she kept in a locked drawer in her bedroom, and those drawings were primarily focused on his jawline and facial structure, although she had drawn his butt on more than a few occasions. And his arms. And his torso. What could she say? She looked at him a lot, studied the way he moved, and he inspired her to create. In any case, she’d absolutely love to see him naked, obviously, because who wouldn’t, but to draw him… get it together Mabel, you’re getting all worked up!), which… was not going to happen, tragically.

He’d never shared anything regarding his soulmate with her. That meant, of course, that he hadn’t found his yet, nor was he in the unusual soulmarked-but-not-knowing-with-whom situation that Mabel herself was in. As indicated by his insistence on telling her in person (which he had, of course, never insisted upon before, or even expressed a passing desire to tell her something in person rather than digitally), whatever it was must have been more important than anything he’d ever told her.

What was more important than him finding his soulmate? She couldn’t think of another possibility. Couldn’t even fathom it, no matter how hard she tried. Unfortunately, she couldn’t really fathom the possibility that he might’ve found his soulmate, either, but that was primarily because she didn’t want to.

What would that be like, to watch him with his soulmate? Knowing Mabel’s luck, she’d never find out who hers was (she’d clearly been around him her whole life and had yet to find him, so what were the odds she’d figure it out later? Once she left school, she’d probably start experiencing withdrawal symptoms, which would be horrible, but she had long since accepted the likelihood of that), and since she saw Dipper regularly and talked to him all the time, it wasn’t likely she’d get over him.

Family gatherings could be a real bitch.

Which meant, of course, that Mabel was doomed to suffer withdrawal symptoms for the rest of her life while watching the man she loved, who just so happened to be her twin brother, find his soulmate, fall in love, get married, and have children. It was when she considered things like that that the idea of regularly consuming Smile Dip sounded fan-freaking-tastic. At least then she’d be too out of it to suffer.

Mabel wasn’t one for wallowing in self-pity and misery. She was a fairly positive person. Whenever she found herself moping or depressed, she could usually pull herself out of it. In that respect, she was tremendously lucky, as not everyone was capable of that.

But with this, loving Dipper (or rather, being in love with Dipper, which she very much was)... there was this sadness deep inside of her that she just couldn’t seem to shake. She could tuck it away in the back of her mind, pretend it wasn’t there. At least for awhile, anyway. But it never left. Not really. It was always there, in the box she’d locked it away in. Sometimes, though, the box broke open, and it would consume her, like shadows consuming light.

When she thought of Dipper with his soulmate, smiling at a nameless, faceless stranger, beaming at his wedding (knowing Dipper, he’d insist she be a bridesmaid. What agony that would be), holding a child that wasn’t Mabel’s, could never, ever be Mabel’s (Mabel would probably be the godmother, too), the shadows never failed to consume her.

She pulled her legs to her chest, resting her forehead on her knees, and let the tears fall.

#gravity falls fanfiction #gf fanfiction #Pinecest #Mabel pines #dipper pines #fanfiction #fanfic #looks like someone picked a whole bushel of oopsie daisies #my writing

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nonstoplover · 4 years

Text

met this girl ~ Tom Holland (song drabble)

my masterlist │ my song drabbles

song used as inspiration: mcfly ~ met this girl

words: 4.7K

approximate reading time: about 15-20 mins

a/n: okay this one in particular i love so much. when i first read the song lyrics, literally nothing came to my mind. i was just about to generate another song with the random number generator of google when i thought 'i can't give up so fast on this song' and sat there for a couple minutes before somehow the smallest little idea popped in my head. and from then on i was unstoppable. i wrote a short sketch of the thing i had in mind, and this short sketch that's supposed to be like maximum 50 words became 450 words. i wrote their whole life lmao. anyway then i sat down to actually write it and got 4.7K words out of it. i'm so glad i didn't give up.

anyway please leave feedback it's the most amazing feeling ever

The door of the small bar opened, letting in some of the fresh, crispy air from the street, ruffling the cloud of smoke inside as five girls walked in, their giggles floating behind them.

Tom instinctively turned his head towards the newcomers with no further thought, his entire presence still paying attention to the story Harrison sitting opposite to him at the table was telling.

Though that swiftly changed when his eyes fell on the girl who entered the building last. Her (y/h/c) flew around, framing her face as a beautiful teeth-flashing smile split it in two.

"Earth to Tom," his best friend's voice entered his mind out of nowhere and he shook his head to clear his thoughts. "Are you still with us?"

"Yeah, sorry, got distracted."

"Which?" He turned back to his friend who was taking small sips of his drink, trying hard to stop himself from glancing back too often.

Harrison's eyebrow curiously rose before he turned his head to the side to examine the possible reasons of the brown haired boy's distraction. When his eyes caught sight of the group of young women who had probably just arrived based on the fact that they were all pulling down their coats in that moment, understanding filled his mind.

"Pardon?" Tom asked back, confusion appearing on his face.

"Which girl caught your eye?"

"What? No! That's not..." He tried to defend himself immediately but Harrison just waved his hand nonchalantly, telling him that it was pointless.

Tom let out a frustrated groan as he gave in and glanced back towards the counter, his brown eyes landing on the gorgeous woman without trouble.

"The (y/h/c) one wearing the (y/f/c) dress," he mumbled, turning back to the glass in his hand, swirling the remainder of his drink in it, feeling a bit embarrassed.

Harrison hummed appreciatively as he found the mentioned girl but quickly moved his gaze somewhere else when he noticed her glance at him.

(y/n) felt sure there were eyes on her and she tried to undetectably catch the person, moving her eyes around the room. It only took a couple seconds of searching before she reached one of the tables by the wall, a young blond man eyeing her before snatching his head away when their eyes connected.

She watched curiously as the guy opened his mouth and told something to the man sitting across him and just when she looked there, she noticed the blond's companion shooting a glance her way.

They were talking about her!

(y/n) couldn't help but check the brown haired guy out. His hair looked incredibly soft even in the dim lights of the bar, his face was more attractive than any man's she had ever seen. He wore a simple black T-shirt tucked in his black jeans, the material hugging his toned body perfectly, revealing the muscles underneath it.

Glancing up again at his face, their glances connected and (y/n) snatched her eyes off him, turning back to her friends, trying to catch up on what they were talking about. As time passed by, she could feel the back of her head burn with the tingling feeling of someone watching her, but she forced herself not to turn back towards the man not once. She didn't want to give off false signals, she was not looking for either a one night stand or even a relationship.

"Why don't you go and talk to her?" Harrison chuckled when he noticed Tom glance towards the counter again.

"I don't know, Haz," the caught boy shrugged. "It just doesn't seem right."

"Right? What are you talking about, man? You never had a problem with chatting up whoever you layed eyes upon."

Tom stared into the blue eyes and saw nothing but honest amusement and a bit of worry.

"Okay, I give it a try," he sighed, slipping out from their booth and smoothing out his clothes.

"Now that's the Tom I know!" Harrison exclaimed, watching joyously as his best friend approached the counter before unlocking his phone to keep himself entertained whilst being left alone.

Around two hours after (y/n) and her friends had arrived to the bar, the girl felt a body slipping on the stool next to hers. She slid a little closer to (y/f/n), taking a sip of her drink as she examined the newly arrived person from the corner of her eyes. The drink immediately went down the wrong way when she realised who had just sat down next to her and she started uncontrollably coughing to get rid of it.

Tears filled her eyes as she heard worried exclaims coming from her friends just as a hand gently came in contact with her back, hitting her multiple times just hard enough so the sip of drink would exit her windpipe.

When she finally felt better, being able to breathe freely again (y/n) blinked the opacity out from her eyes, holding her hands up as a signal that she was alright. The hand carefully slapping between her shoulder blades immediately stopped, though it stayed lying against her skin.

She looked at her friends smiling. "It's fine, it was nothing." She let a giggle out as an even better conviction and as the conversation slowly restarted she could finally let herself turn her head to the other side to thank him for the life-saving.

The young man was already watching her and the intensity behind his warm, brown eyes made her heart skip a beat.

"Are you okay?" He spoke up, honest and cheeky at the same time, gentle laughter hiding behind his words.

"Yeah, sure."

Tom was amused to say the least. He had various reactions of women when he approached them for the first time, but them choking on their drink was never the situation.

His hand felt like burning a hole in her dress as it still rested on the same spot upon her, but she tried hard not to move at all so he would forget it there.

"Thank you for... helping," (y/n) spoke up when she finally found the words.

"You're more than welcome," the guy grinned at her before holding his free hand out towards her above the counter. "I'm Tom."

"(y/n)," she reached out to shake hands with him. "Nice to meet you."

Tom only nodded with a still apparent smile on his face before signalling the bartender over to them. "A smoky bourbon, please," he announced, then glanced at the girl sitting next to him with a questioning look. "Anything you want, love."

(y/n)'s heart skipped yet another beat upon hearing the nickname though almost immediately she scolded herself for doing so. With a small smile she shook her head no, slightly raising her glass that still had some drink in it.

She just wanted to thank him for helping to survive the choking he caused, but she wanted nothing more. Not a drink, not a conversation, not an invite back to his home. She knew his type all too well and she had matured enough in the past years to be able to see through these men's intentions. They only wanted a one time satisfaction from her, and she refused to be only that.

Tom felt a bit hurt seeing her rejection, not really being used to girls saying no to him, but he shrugged it off, concentrating on trying to come up with something to say before she completely shut him off. He somehow felt that his usual routine when talking to girls wouldn't work with her.

But before his mind could find the right words to say, her voice sounded again.

"Doesn't your friend mind that you left him alone?" (y/n) pointed at Harrison with one finger as she held her glass with the others, her elbow resting on the counter's cool surface.

"Uh... He... no, I don't think so," Tom stuttered. No one had ever asked him about his best friend, even though this wasn't the first time Haz had to sit alone, scrolling on his phone, not being in the mood to chat up girls.

"That didn't sound too convincing," the girl giggled before turning her head back to her friends.

The four other girls were already staring at her with widened eyes to which she rolled her (y/e/c) ones, shrugging. (y/f/n) started moving her head in small motions, but still frantically, and (y/n) knew exactly what she wanted.

She tried to tell her that she should talk to him. That she should never reject such a man. She swiftly shook her head no, but noticing the other girls' sudden fidgetiness she feared that they might do something she didn't want to see happen so she grunted and turned back to the man.

Tom was still in the exact same position he was when she turned away, amusement radiant on his whole face as he patiently waited to see how the situation continued turning out.

"What's up?" (y/n) asked, knowing that there was no chance she could get away without a conversation if she wanted to avoid her friends scolding the hell out of her later on. Her voice sounded a tad bit rude and sulky and seeing Tom slightly flinch from the sudden harshness, she immediately regretted it. "Sorry, didn't want to sound so brusque."

Tom smiled wider again as he leaned in closer, talking lower so only the girl could hear him. "Is everything okay with your friends?"

"What are they doing now?" She rolled her eyes again, mentally preparing herself for the telling-off her best friends pretty much deserved because of their behaviour by far.

"Just staring at us."

"Thank God."

"There's a worse case scenario, am I right?" Tom chuckled, leaning back to be able to take a sip of his drink.

"Oh, you wouldn't wanna know about that."

Following (y/n)'s bored grunt the boy laughed out loud again before returning to the previous quiet volume. "Will they ever stop?"

"For the sake of them, I hope it'll happen soon."

Tom raised an impressed, curious eyebrow as he watched her talk passionately, she seemed quite serious. He was far more entertained by her attitude than any slightly forced joke others would crack to try and keep his interest up high.

For the next couple hours the two of them kept the conversation going, and even though she would never admit it, (y/n) quite enjoyed it. The young man turned out to be much more mature, well-read and serious than he seemed, and he had a great sense of humour, making her laugh out loud innumerous times.

Tom knew the girl was just as stunning on the inside as on the outside as soon as they started talking, finding similarities almost immediately. She was smart, far more smart than he'd ever be and it was a pleasant surprise that drew him only closer, even though whenever he tried to get even a little closer, she always stopped him.

No drinks bought, no accidental touches, and naturally no invites back to his place.

When (y/f/n) tapped on the girl's shoulder to tell her that they would leave, she started getting up immediately.

"No, you should just stay. Don't end this fun night because of our tired asses," she giggled at (y/n), eyes subconsciously moving over the attractive young man sitting next to them.

"No, it's fine, I'm getting quite tired as well," (y/n) reassured her friend, pulling on her leather jacket she had on the surface of her stool, sitting on top of it the whole night. Something inside her mind told her to leave the bar while she could, before her heart would get too caught up in the seemingly perfect boy and she would eventually give in and spend the night at his place.

It don't matter how entertaining their conversation was, how much of a pleasant surprise the boy turned out to be, she still wanted to keep herself to the past few years' mindset. No one night stands. No boys using you.

Tom felt sadness and disappointment sweep in his whole body, his face probably falling as he took in her words.

"I had a lot of fun tonight," (y/n) turned towards him. "I didn't expect to have this much fun, actually, so thank you. It was really nice."

She patted his shoulder a couple times, smiling widely before turning around and walking out the door to catch up with her friends. Tom sat there frozen, he didn't know what to do now. Now that the girl of his dreams walked out the door without even giving him her number.

And that's when it all clicked in his head.

She hadn't given him her number.

How was he supposed to be able to contact her when all he knew was her first name?

"Fuck," he mumbled before facepalming the counter with such force that at least half of the present people in the bar looked his way upon hearing the loud bang.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Three weeks later Tom sat at the same table in the same bar, but this time it was not only Harrison with him, but his brothers, Sam and Harry joined them as well.

The hope of her walking in just like she did with her friends all those weeks ago was tiny by now, increasing every day he woke up with her name on his lips.

"Tom. Tom!" Harrison nudged him with excited eyes, having sat opposing the door now himself.

"What?" The mentioned boy looked up from his phone.

"She's here!"

"Wha-" he started to say as he turned his head to the side, but the words got stuck in his throat midsentence as he caught sight of (y/n).

She sat down at the counter, almost on the same stool she sat on three weeks before, a tingling feeling making goosebumps appear on the skin of her arms. This time it was only her and (y/f/n), the other girls too caught up in work or their relationships to have a girls' night out.

She was a bit reluctant to go without them, but (y/f/n) wanted to relax after a long, tiring and stressful week so she eventually gave in and agreed on accompanying her to a bar. Though when she heard that her friend wanted to go to the same bar, the bar, (y/n) tried hard to talk her out of it. She reasoned with trying out new places, with the service being bad and the drinks tasting horrible, (y/f/n) was unstoppable.

And as she slipped on the bar stool, ordering the same drink as three weeks earlier, feeling the same burning spot on her signalling that someone was watching, déjà vu filled her whole existence. She slowly moved her head to the side, but even before her eyes could fall on the brown haired boy, she knew that it was him. It had to be him.

She turned back to her friend swiftly, looking for a getaway, but noticed that she was already caught up in a conversation with another man, giggling away at something he probably had just said.

(y/n) sighed, looking back at the counter just as the bartender placed her glass on top of it. She mumbled a quick thank you, mentally cursing herself for letting her being talked into going out that night. She should have known (y/f/n) would find a man fast. With her beauty, expansiveness and funny jokes she was probably irresistible for most men.

Just as she took a sip of her drink, she felt a new presence by her side, someone whom her hair that had fallen in front of her completely blocked out from her sight.

"Seems like you're in need of a saviour yet again," an all too familiar, smug voice spoke up, sending a not wanted shiver down her spine.

"Tom," she replied tiredly.

"(y/n)," the man said with a similar tone.

"Are you trying to take me home yet again?"

"We're back with harsh (y/n), I see."

This finally made her look up and brush her hair out of her face, Tom already feeling much better just by getting a real, nice view of it.

"And to answer your question, no, I'm not tryna take you home. I just wanted to talk and make you feel less alone and embarrassed and left out."

"Okay, okay, I got it," (y/n) raised her hand in defense. "Thanks, I guess."

"You're welcome."

The girl was just about to open her mouth and say something else when another thing popped in Tom's head. "Oh, and this time you don't have to worry about my friend being alone as well. He has company," he pointed at their booth over his shoulder with a grin playing on his lips.

It proved to be the icebreaker he needed for that night, (y/n) finally giving up keeping on that bored, exhausted facade and letting out a giggle.

"How are you?" She spoke up a couple seconds later, smiling at the boy.

"I was fine, thank you."

"Was?" (y/n) asked back with a confused frown on her face.

"Yeah, 'cause now I'm suddenly feeling perfect," Tom replied smugly.

The girl couldn't decide if she should laugh or scold him for being so subtle and straightforward again. In the end she just shone a small smile his way, but the young man still felt proud of his accomplishment. She didn't rebuke him!

After hours of light conversation and joking around flowing between the two of them, Tom felt like his time had come, he wouldn't scare her away, by the time she seemingly trusted him enough to know he wasn't a creep or anything.

"What's your name?"

"(y/n)," the girl answered, confusion filling her.

"No, I mean your full name," Tom chuckled.

"Why do you need that?" (y/n) questioned suspiciously.

"Can't I just ask it? Friends usually know each other's last name."

"And we're friends?"

"What, we aren't?" The boy tilted his head to the side.

"I don't know, are we?"

"We're not gonna go anywhere with this," Tom let out a laugh. "Look, I'm not asking for your number, and I know you won't give it to me before disappearing like last time, and that's okay. I'd just like to know your last name. Believe me, I'm sure there are multiple other girls with the same name only in this city, not even the whole country."

He could see the wall of defense slowly crumbling behind her eyes, letting him know that he only needed a little more pushing to get the oh so wanted information.

"We've been talking for hours, twice by far. I enjoyed it all and you did too from what you said last time before leaving. So I think it's time for a little more formal introduction," he straightened his back still sitting on the slightly uncomfortable bar stool, holding his hand out towards the girl just like three weeks before. "I'm Tom Holland."

"Fine, as you wish," the young woman shrugged, a smile playing on her lips as she grabbed his hand. "(y/n) (y/l/n)."

Her name played on replay inside his mind as a prayer, every piece of him memorising it as a wide grin split his face in two, staring in her shining, beautiful (y/e/c) eyes.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"I really can't get rid of you wherever I go now, can I?" (y/n) let out a giggle as she stopped by the table the oh so familiar boy sat around with his friend.

Not even a whole week passed by since their last, seventh meeting, and even though it was a different day of the week, a different bar in the city, she still managed to bump into him.

His head snapped up towards the voice his whole being loved listening to, eyes widening when he became sure that it wasn't just a similar voice, but it was the voice.

"(y/n)!" He jumped up from his chair, arms instinctively moving to hug the girl before he swiftly stopped himself, unsure if she would approve of that.

But the next moment it was the girl who initiated the greeting, leaning in with her arms lazily moving around his torso. Tom needed a moment to wake up from his frozen state of mind, completely taken aback by her action, but he pulled himself together and gently touched the small of her back for a moment before they both leant back.

"I didn't expect to see you today," he spoke, noticing Harrison watching them curiously from the corner of his eyes.

"Why, I'm so predictable that you expect to see me every Friday in that bar?" (y/n) raised an eyebrow, a giggle rolling past her lips.

"Maybe," he smirked.

"I'm sorry, we haven't met before, except those few glances across the room," the girl turned towards his best friend, holding her arm out. "I'm (y/n)."

The blond man jumped up right away, shaking hands with her with a joyous, playful smile playing on his lips. "I'm Harrison."

"I've heard a lot about you."

"Only good, I hope."

As the two of them shared a chuckle, Tom took his chance to contemplate. A mixture of feelings were bubbling in his chest. Jealousy because it was his friend who made her chuckle, and how easily he did it when Tom on the other hand usually had to work for it for a couple minutes. Still somehow a proud happiness was present as well, seeing the two of them get along so well.

After a few seconds it was obvious that the girl had drunk more than she usually did, by her easy, laid-back behaviour and slightly seductive tone of joking she had previously never shown Tom.

"If you wanna, you could join us. My friends and I are celebrating (y/f/n)'s birthday, the blonde beauty there," she turned slightly away to point at the large group of girls loudly enjoying themselves on the other side of the room. "I think she'd be delighted to have some male company as well."

If he hadn't listened to her talk for hours seven times already, he wouldn't have noticed the slight tipsy tone of her voice but after so many long conversations it seemed obvious. The thought of other men approaching her in this state felt infuriating to him so he just nodded and after checking in with Harrison who just shrugged, they followed the girl back to her group.

"Everyone, this is Tom and Harrison, my friends," (y/n) called out when they got there, getting the attention of every girl in front of them. The word friend felt disappointing and satisfying in his heart at the same time.

The group welcomed the two boys kindly and a bit drunk, and the rest of the night flew by fast, everyone equally having fun. When it came to going home, Tom immediately offered (y/n) a cab ride home. He wouldn't trust any taxi driver to take the drunken girl home. He wanted to make sure nothing would happen to her and to his surprise she didn't resist.

She submissively told the driver her address as soon as they both sat in the vehicle and during the ride, entertained Tom (and herself) with funny little stories of her life. When the car stopped, Tom payed for the ride even though (y/n) tried to pull out her wallet and pay herself. Tom easily pushed her hand away and instead got out of the car, pulling her out behind himself.

"Which is your apartment?" He spoke up, hand grabbing her arm so she wouldn't stumble.

"I'll lead you."

In a couple minutes they were standing in front of the door, and the girl opened the door, stepping inside with him trailing behind her without having a chance to say goodbye and leave as he planned to.

"Would you like a drink?" (y/n) giggled.

"A glass of water, please," Tom answered, stopping in the middle of the living room, glancing around, taking in the place she lived at.

"Who's the boy?" He suddenly heard a suppressed voice from the kitchen. It must be her flatmate. The boy instinctively strolled closer to the door so he could hear everything they talked about, curiosity taking the best of him.

"Just the guy I've been talking to at the bar, you know, the one I told you about," (y/n)'s voice replied.

"What is he doing here? I thought you didn't want any one night stands."

"I don't know, I think I kinda very much fell for him," the girl let out another giggle, and Tom's heart felt like stopping for a moment.

"Oh, no, another crush?" The flatmate sighed.

"It'll be fine, though, I can feel it."

"With a one night stand?"

"Oh stop it, please. I know what I'm doing," (y/n) spoke angrily, but the fact that her words came out tangled, giving obvious proof of how drunk she was.

"I don't know, (y/n). But don't come to me when he breaks your heart like all the others before."

It felt heart-shattering to hear about her dating past, and he promised himself he wouldn't mess this up even if his life depended on it.

Tom looked around in search of a piece of paper and pen he could use, swiftly scribbled a short note for the girl on it and almost ran out of the door before she would came back to the living room and start something they might both regret.

Hearing their front door close, (y/n) frowned, already feeling much more sober than when they arrived here and she swiftly left the kitchen to check on the boy. The room she left him in was empty but as she was just about to break down, sinking down on the couch, her eyes fell on a piece of paper in the corner of the coffee table's surface.

'I truly don't want just a one night stand, I'd love to have something more with you. If you want to, I'll take you out for dinner tomorrow. Text me whenever. Xx Tom'

And a phone number scratched seemingly fast under the short message.

(y/n) reached in her back pocket to pull her phone out, typing in the given number and her reply with a wide smile and a blush on her face.

'I'm waiting for you at 7pm.'

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Happy one year anniversary, love."

"Happy anniversary," (y/n) giggled, clinking glasses with her boyfriend.

"You know, I still can't believe I got a first date, let alone a whole year of dating," Tom shook his head, a happy grin on his face.

"Yeah, you were lucky," she nodded in agreement.

"And how many years to come."

They chuckled lovingly at each other before clinking their glasses once more and drinking from the champagne in it.

"I'll hold you to it."

"As you wish. I already have our whole life planned out."

"Just ours?" (y/n) widened her eyes jokingly.

"No, actually, our kids' lives too," Tom admitted before they both bursted out laughing.

A couple silent seconds and a few sips of champagne later the girl's eyes turned serious as she looked deep in his eyes.

"This was no doubt the best year of my life. Thank you."

"Thank me? For what?"

"For not giving up even when I sent you away for the hundredth time," she shrugged, smiling but still in a serious way.

"You're more than welcome," Tom reached out to grab her hand above the table. "It was the best year of my life as well."

"I've never felt so loved before," (y/n) looked down at her lap, mumbling mostly to herself.

Hearing her quiet confess made him tighten his grip on her soft, small hand while his other arm raised to gently touch her cheek, caressing it and with a careful guidance making her look up in his eyes again.

"I love you with my whole heart and being, darling, and I'll love you till the day that I die. I promise."

(y/n)'s eyes widened, it being the first time either of them ever said it out loud, and she could see clearly that he truly meant it. Her lips curved into a wide smile, one that lit up the whole room and sent extreme warmth in his chest.

.::the end::.

"I love you too, Tom."

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particularemu · 4 years

Text

Bad Guy | A Hwang Hyunjin Scenario

Prompts: 7 (Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy)

Word Count: big ass fic (10,673)

Type: ANGST/FLUFF/SMUT

Warnings: Home intrusion, cursing, violence, smutty talk, suicide, mentions murder

Author’s Note: I won’t lie I’m going to miss writing this monster.

I’m not taking requests from this list anymore because I reblogged a different one, but the prompts are from this prompt list.

Also, another note, I WILL NOT be writing fics this long for every prompt I get requests for. I just got mad inspiration when writing this one.

You didn’t intend to fall for the bad boy in your neighborhood — no... it was as if a freight train hit you at 200 mph sending your mind straight into a frenzy of Hwang Hyunjin.

The ebony-haired beauty was everything a girl could want in a man. He was beautiful, strong, protective, and over the past year, you found he had a wonderful personality. You were smitten with him as soon as you met him.

The first time you met Hyunjin was at dinky little bar down the corner of 72nd street. You went out with a group of girls to celebrate your friend’s promotion, when your friend whispered, “Hey Y/N, that guy is staring at you.”

Sure enough, when you glanced over your shoulder, Hyunjin’s eyes were focused on you, brown orbs looking you up and down before he turned and walked over to the pool tables. You couldn’t help but feel attracted to the stranger, but you were too nervous to go up and talk to him. After all, the boy was wearing ripped jeans, a leather jacket, a distressed T-shirt, and was sporting a pretty good scrape on his cheek. He didn’t look like the kind of guy you’d want to take home to your parents.

This became even more clear when Hyunjin started to sweet-talk one of your friends. Great! So he was a fuckboy… That didn’t stop your raging hormones, nor did it stop you from wanting to walk up to him and offer to suck his dick.

If you did — even though you knew full-well that you wouldn't — find the courage to strut up to the badass, you figured he’d shoot you down almost immediately. Sure, you looked good, but you didn’t really look like the other girls in the small bar.

Suddenly, investing in a healthy collection of fishnet stockings and corset bustiers sounded like a good idea. Then you could look like that bitch Miranda, who had her boobs pushed up to her face thanks to the triple push-up bra she was sporting. Maybe then Hyunjin would be talking to you instead of her?

Your inner-turmoil managed to keep you occupied long enough for someone to slip some powder into your drink. The man had time to dump, stir, and walk in the amount of time you caught Hyunjin’s eyes in your direction.

Shit! Were you staring too much? He must have noticed. You weren’t exactly being subtle.

Well… perhaps the only way to play this off is to drink and pretend you were watching that super interesting pool game going on in the background. As soon as you grabbed your drink and placed the cold glass against your lips, you heard a man’s voice from across the bar.

“Hey don’t drink that!” Hyunjin yelled from across the bar.

Your eyes widened as you set the glass back on the table, trying hard not to be extremely attracted by the ebony-haired boy walking towards you. God he was beautiful — not that it mattered.

Your chest tightened as you looked around the bar, trying to place who could have done something to your drink. In the movies, the guy would look like a drug dealer with face tattoos and beefy muscles. Unfortunately, you couldn’t find someone who fit the role in the bar.

“What the fuck are you looking for?” Hyunjin’s brow creased as he slammed the glass to the floor, making you flinch.

You huffed. “I’m looking for whoever drugged me.”

Hyunjin merely chuckled and grabbed the jacket of a man sitting next to you. “Pay more attention to your surroundings and you just might find him.”

Ok then… If Hyunjin could stop being an asshole for two seconds, you could explain that you were simply noticing that he has the perfect distance between his hairline and his eyebrows.

Wait… no that’s weird.

You backed away from the bar, watching Hyunjin pull the guy towards his face. “What did you have planned with her?”

The man grabbed Hyunjin’s hands, hoping to get the boy to release his iron-like grip. “I didn’t do anything!” He looked panicked.

“Stop!” You felt horrible for the guy. He was just standing next to you drinking his beer the whole time.

Hyunjin turned his head to you and snapped. “Shut up!”

Now… You couldn’t exactly explain the logic behind your actions, but in that moment — and only in that exact moment — you thought it was a good idea to push yourself between the two furious men. So that’s exactly what you did. You somehow managed to slide your body underneath Hyunjin’s arms and push on his chest, hard enough for him to release his grip on the other man.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Hyunjin snapped, looming over you to appear intimidating.

Your hands rested on his shoulders. “I’m trying to keep you from beating up an innocent man.”

Hyunjin scoffed and spun you around, forcing you to look at the fallen man. As the man stood up to leave, a bag of powder fell out of his jacket pocket. The guy’s eyes widened as he picked up the bag and ran out of the bar. Hyunjin instantly let go of your arms and ran after the man.

“Wait!” You called after Hyunjin and ran out of the bar, shivering as the cool air hit your skin. After turning the corner, you saw Hyunjin throwing something — you couldn’t quite make out what it was — down the alleyway. The large crash made you yelp, turning Hyunjin’s attention towards you.

He sighed, rubbing his hands over his eyes before speaking in a soft voice. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

You nodded and walked over to the beautiful, yet obviously frustrated, boy. “I’m so sorry I got in the way.”

“Why did you step in the way? Do you know what could have happened to you if things escalated?” Hyunjin sighed once more. “How could you do such a stupid thing?”

“I was scared!” You blurted out, startling Hyunjin a bit. “I almost got drugged. The last thing I wanted to do was watch someone get hurt.” Tears gathered at the corners of your eyes.

Oh no! You were NOT going to cry in front of the prettiest man on earth.

Hyunjin chuckled and walked by you, pausing to place his hand on your shoulder. “Just pay more attention next time, yeah?” His hand slipped off your shoulder to slide in his pocket as the boy headed back to the bar.

“Wait!” Hyunjin looked over his shoulder when he heard your voice. “Thank you.” You smiled at him, hoping your small thanks would brighten his mood.

“You don’t need to thank me.” Hyunjin chuckled. “I’m no prince.”

“Who are you then?” You were dying to know the pretty boy’s name.

“Hwang Hyunjin.” He smirked and walked away, hoping you’d find your way home without getting into any trouble.

You were pretty much head over heels in love with him since — which sounded real dumb considering the fact that you hadn’t known him long. Still… there was something about him. Something that told you that you’d be happy with the boy.

--------------

The second time you saw Hyunjin was when you moved into his apartment complex. When you first moved out of your parent’s house, you couldn’t afford anything special, so you moved into an apartment building that was in — to put it nicely — a rough part of town. You figured you’d be safe because you were in a complex with many others… one being the infamous Hwang Hyunjin.

Hyunjin happened to spot you when you were unloading boxes from your 1996 Subaru SVX, a piece of shit car that isn’t exactly worth bragging about. The boy couldn’t help but chuckle at your sad attempt at lifting a heavy box out of your vehicle. He watched you struggle from afar, before deciding it’d be best to help you out.

“If it isn’t the troublemaker.” He chuckled, plucking a box from your hands.

“I’m no troublemaker.” You couldn’t help but grin when you saw Hyunjin. The boy was just as beautiful as he was nearly a month ago. How did he remember you?

Hyunjin sighed, “Are you going to tell me what number you’re in or am I going to have to guess?

He couldn’t help but chuckle when the realization hit you, eyes going wide as you blurted out. “I’m so sorry. I live in apartment 3B.”

“Ah. That’s right across from me.” Hyunjin walked over to your apartment, setting the box onto the floor as you followed behind him.

“Really?” You gawked.

“Yeah. If you need anything, feel free to knock.” Hyunjin pointed towards his door across the hall. “I’m pretty handy with a hammer, and by the looks of it, you’re going to need one.”

He wasn’t wrong… You weren’t exactly the best at fixing things. Once you tried to help your father hang shelves, but you somehow missed the nail and slammed a hole in the wall with the hammer. You shivered at the memory of your father’s frustration.

Of course, having a handsome handyman living across the hall wasn’t a bad thing. Now you had a handful of excuses to invite him over. Someday… somehow, you planned to woo the boy.

But that’s besides the point. You were, in fact, really happy to have someone across the hall if something were to go wrong in this shitty apartment complex. You felt safe knowing he was there, even though he was a complete stranger. Well... it wasn’t as if he was a complete stranger. He protected you before — surely he’d do it again right?

Not that you planned on getting into trouble.

“Are you done with your war flashbacks?” Hyunjin chuckled as he leaned against the door frame. “I plan to help you with the rest of your boxes, but I can’t help you if you’re just going to sit and stare at me.”

Fuck he noticed.

“I wasn’t having war flashbacks.” You lightly smacked him on the shoulder, making the tall boy giggle. Wow his giggles sounded so boy-ish… so happy. You couldn’t help but wonder what drove him to become a fight-happy drinker.

“So you admit it?” Hyunjin picked up another heavy box. “You think I’m attractive.”

“Fuck off.” Your cheeks flushed, making Hyunjin laugh.

“Wow, you can’t hide it either.” He snickered some more. “Don’t worry sweetheart. I think you’re pretty cute too.”

He thinks you’re cute? Yes! You couldn’t stop the dorky grin that took over your face.

Hyunjin helped you unload the rest of the boxes, which you were EXTREMELY grateful for. You were five seconds away from leaving them in your car, figuring you had all the important stuff in your apartment already. Who needs post and pans?

Oh yeah… People who eat.

“Alright. That was everything from your car.” Hyunjin paused before reaching out to you. “Give me your phone.”

“Why?” You questioned, handing over the device.

“Why do you think?” Hyunjin added his contact into your phone, then called himself so he would have your number. “If you need anything, give me a call.” He handed your phone back to you.

Ok, so he thinks you’re cute AND you have his number. Fuck yeah!

“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.” You smiled at him, hoping he couldn’t figure out the nasty things you wanted to do to him behind closed doors. Your mind has the worst habit of thinking the dirtiest thoughts at the worst times.

Hyunjin nodded and turned to leave, pausing when you held onto his sleeve. After a moment of silence, Hyunjin chuckled, “Is there something you wanted to ask me sweetheart?”

Fuck there’s that name again. He’s got to stop calling you that or you’ll combust.

“Do you want to stay for dinner? It’s the least I could do after all you’ve done.” Your cheeks flushed.

Hyunjin paused a minute before responding, “Thanks, but I already have plans tonight.”

You felt your heart drop into your stomach. Oh yeah — why wouldn’t a hot guy like him have plans? He probably had plans to go snag a girl for a quick fuck.

Why couldn’t you be that girl?

Oh yeah — you’d be crushed if he only wanted you for one night. But what if once was enough? Maybe if you spent a glorious night with the boy, you’d get him out of your system. Then you wouldn’t be acting like a blushy teenager every time he looks at you.

Before you could say anything else, Hyunjin left the apartment with a short wave and a “See ya around kiddo.”

Kiddo? You were no kid. In fact, you were the opposite of a kid. The things you wanted to do to that boy were far from innocent.

You sighed and plopped in the rickety dining room chair, yelping when the damn thing collapsed under your weight.

This place was going to need a lot of work.

--------------

Hwang Hyunjin was known for his charms and his dashing good looks. He could bring home any girl with a flirty pick up line and a wink — or so you assumed. You were never actually there when he convinced some poor girl to come home and fuck him.

Well… Maybe he didn’t have to convince them. He had you wrapped around his finger and all he did was look at you, help you bring in boxes, and punch a guy out for you.

Over the next few months, you noticed him bringing girls to his apartment for, what you assumed was, hazy drunken sex.

Fortunately, the two of you had gotten close. You asked the boy for his help fixing the sink in your apartment, and he happily obliged. Hyunjin ended up staying over for a while, making small talk, much to your surprise.

“So, Princess.” Hyunjin grunted as he hit his head on the cabinet making you snicker. “Oh hush.” He pouted. “You’ve done dumber things.”

“Oh like what?” You giggled.

“Like jumping between two fighting men when—”

“Alright alright. I’ve apologized like eight times for that incident. Please don’t bring it up again.”

Hyunjin laughed. “Fine fine. That’s fair. Anyways...” He couldn’t help but chuckle at your pouty face as he wiped the sweat off his brow. “Why’d a girl like you move out here?”

God he looked way too good for a sweaty man in sweatpants and a hoodie.

“A girl like me?” You crossed your arms. “I’m not a priss.” You tossed him a bottle of water from the fridge.

Hyunjin caught the bottle and unscrewed the lid. “Never said you were.” He took a sip of the water you handed him. “People like you usually don’t come here.”

Of course you were aware that you didn’t fit into this town. After all, you came from a middle to high-class family. Your mother often gifted you with pretty jewelry and high-end clothes, so you could understand why you looked out of place in a town like that.

Is that how he saw you? Nothing but a high-class priss looking to call daddy every time she needs something? Unfortunately, even if you did need help, you were positive your father wouldn’t come for you. Not after the way you left home.

“Okay, I’m curious. Who do you think I am?” You cocked your eyebrow at him.

Hyunjin laughed. “Look at you sweetheart.” He gestured to the picture of your family sitting on the counter. “You come from a nice family yeah?”

Your cheeks flushed at the nickname that slipped past his lips so easily. “What about it?”

“Why wouldn’t you want to live in a place like the Northwest Hills?” He couldn’t help but laugh as he saw your whiteboard. The board had your chicken-scratch handwriting that read, ‘Get the lock fixed before the crazy neighbor murders me.’

“Is this your way of saying you’re worried about me?” You grinned, making the ebony haired boy’s cheeks flush red.

“No, I just don’t get it.” Hyunjin sat on the dining room chair, taking another sip of water.

An awkward silence filled the room — the only sounds being the corny rom-com you had going in the living room, and the sound of Hyunjin’s soft breathing. Now that was a sound you could get used to hearing.

Although you didn’t really feel like dumping your family problems on the boy, something about him seemed… approachable… comforting almost. Perhaps you could trust him with your deepest thoughts.

“Just because we look like we have our shit together in that picture doesn’t mean we do.” You sighed.

Hyunjin turned his attention to you, eyes practically begging for you to continue. “Yeah?”

“We’re actually pretty fucked up.” You turned the picture face-down. “My father cheated on my mom, my brother committed suicide last year, my mother drinks so much wine that she’s borderline an alcoholic, and I’m practically disowned.” You couldn’t help but chuckle.

Hyunjin’s eyes widened at your words. “Oh…” He paused, trying to find the right words to say. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” You smiled at him. “There’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Yeah but…” Hyunjin trailed off. He got up and stood next to you, leaning on the counter as he mumbled. “It must suck.”

You leaned your head to the side, resting your forehead on his shoulder. The boy froze, muscles tightening as he awkwardly stood there in silence. Your hand bumped into his, suddenly thrusting you back into reality as you realized — oh shit… people don’t typically do that.

“Oh I’m sorry.” You pulled away from him. “You probably didn’t want to hear all that.” Your cheeks flushed bright red.

Great! Now he thinks you’re crazy.

“No I don’t mind.” Hyunjin smiled. “We all need to talk about our feelings sometimes.”

I love you.

Hyunjin chuckled, making you panic a little. Did you say that out loud?

“Quit giving me the heart-eyes.” He snickered. “If I ever need a confidence boost I’ll have to come over to your apartment.”

“Shut the fuck up Hwang.” You shoved his shoulder. “I’m not giving you heart-eyes, I’m just surprised.”

“At what?” Hyunjin smiled.

You thought a moment before responding, “I didn’t think you had feelings.”

“I have feelings.” Hyunjin dramatically gasped, pretending to be hurt. “I have lots of feelings.”

Like love?

Hyunjin’s giggles died down. “Sweetheart?”

Your heart panged in your chest at the sweet name. His voice sounded so small. Maybe — just maybe… he had the same feelings you did. Maybe he was going to confess?

“Yeah?”

“What happened between you and your parents?” Hyunjin’s curious eyes bore into yours, noticing the way your arms wrapped around yourself for comfort.

“I don’t want to get into that.” You bit the inside of your lip. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright princess.”

“Don’t call me that.” You snapped, startling the boy.

“Alright.” Hyunjin lifted his hands up in surrender. “Sweetheart it is.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “My name isn’t sweetheart either.”

“Yeah, but it fits.” Hyunjin chuckled, leaning back in the chair. “Look, if you have an opportunity to make things right with your parents, you should.” He smiled, a somewhat sad expression taking over his typical carefree features. “I wish I had the opportunity to fix things with mine before the accident.”

Wait… Accident?

“I’m so sorry Hyunjin.” You wrapped your arms around him and squeezed tight.

“Woah! They’ve been gone for almost ten years!” Hyunjin scratched his head nervously. “It doesn’t bother me anymore.” He loosened your arms and lightly pushed your body away from his. He was pushing you away.

Oh no you don’t.

“It should.” You lightly smacked his shoulder. “Hyunjin that shit doesn’t just go away.”

“Why are you so violent?” Hyunjin laughed when your cheeks flushed red. “I fixed your sink, you should be nice to me.”

“You should stay over tonight.”

Wait what?

Did that really just come out of your mouth? Did you really just ask him to stay the night.

Hyunjin’s eyes widened. Clearly the inner dialogue in your head was going on in his as well. You couldn’t help but notice his tongue run across his lips before he chuckled. “See you later sweetheart.”

Your heart shattered. He didn’t want you. He wanted every other girl in town, but he didn’t want you.

Well fuck.

--------------

An hour or so later, after drowning your sorrows in vanilla bean ice cream and Cheetos, you heard a knock at your door.

Who the fuck is coming over? You didn’t have friends in this godforsaken town.

You grabbed the baseball bat by the door and swung it open, ready to beat down whoever was on the other side.

Hyunjin merely grabbed the other end and tossed it in your room. “You invited me over and you’re going to beat me at the door?”

“What the fuck Hyunjin you scared me.” You rubbed your eyes, trying to calm your beating heart. “Why are you here?”

“You invited me, remember?” He chuckled. “For fixing your sink? I went to get snacks but it looks like you’ve started without me.”

You were beyond confused. One minute he didn’t want to stay the night, and now he does? Did he seriously just take an hour to go get snacks and movies for the two of you?

“Hyunjin you’re ruining your bad boy image.” You sighed as he pulled out vanilla bean ice cream and shoved it in your freezer. “Wait? How did you know I love vanilla bean ice cream?”

Hyunjin snorted. “I didn’t. I like vanilla bean ice cream. After nearly hitting me with a bat, you don’t get any.”

“Don’t be a jerk or I’ll take all the blankets.”

“Not if I get to them first.”

“What?” You giggled when Hyunjin ran to your bedroom and grabbed an armful of pillows and blankets from your bed.

You followed behind, grabbing what was left on your bed and heading to the living room. Hyunjin tossed the blankets and pillows on the floor and slid your coffee table to the side of the room. You helped him scatter the bedding across the floor until you two were comfortably surrounded by cushions and blankets.

The two of you picked a movie — well, more like you picked a corny rom com to watch and Hyunjin complained. Despite his protests, he seemed to be really into the film, constantly laughing at the stupid jokes and gasping when there was a plot twist.

When that movie ended, Hyunjin picked a romantic drama film, cheeks flushing when you teased him about it. You two joked with each other throughout the movie, poking each other’s sides and hitting each other with pillows.

You were having a great time with the boy — you really were… but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something else was going on. “Why’d you come over?”

Hyunjin’s eyes widened a bit before scrunching up when he smiled. “You invited me over. Did you forget?” He ruffled your hair.

He looked so happy. Has he always looked this happy?

No… no he didn’t. When you met him at the bar, he had a permanent scowl plastered on his face. You never saw those lips turn up into a smile unless you were in the room. So maybe? Maybe you actually had a chance with the boy?

Okay, if you were going to test this out, you had to be slick, otherwise you’ll scare him away. While his attention was turned to the movie, you slid to the side slowly until your head rested on his shoulder. Bingo!

“Are you getting tired?” Hyunjin lifted his arm and draped his arm across your shoulders, pulling you closer.

Fuck yes.

“No I’m just…” Fuck what do you say? “Tired.”

Yep. That made you look intelligent.

“That’s what I just said dumbass.” Hyunjin pulled you closer.

“Let’s talk.” You mumbled.

Hyunjin paused, wondering what you’d say. “What do you want to talk about sweetheart?”

“You.”

Smooth.

Hyunjin chuckled at your honesty. “We’ve already talked about me. I want to know more about you.”

You sat up and looked at him. “What do you want to know about me?”

You had an idea of what he’d like to know, but you still weren’t sure you wanted to tell him about your family drama.

“What’s your favorite color?” He asked, throwing you off guard.

Really? That’s what he wanted to know? Okay, that’s better than you thought.

“Pink. Yours?”

“I like black and white.” He smiled.

“Those aren’t colors.” You giggled. “Come on what color do you like? Green? Red? Blue?”

“I like black and white.” He repeated. “Those are colors.”

The two of you sat and giggled about whether or not black was a real color before you guys hit a wall. Hyunjin’s head dropped back onto the pillows behind him, right as you slowly leaned onto his chest. The two of you laid in silence for a while, enjoying each other’s company before you decided to come clean.

“Don’t talk for a minute.” You mumbled into his chest. The only response you received was his arm squeezing you closer to his body. “My brother used to be the favorite in our family.” You sighed. “I got in a fight with him before he died.”

You could feel Hyunjin take a deep breath, thumb rubbing gentle circles in your arm as you spoke. “I told him that he was just a money-hungry rich boy who didn’t care about anyone but himself.” Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes as you sniffled. “He committed suicide that night. My parents haven’t wanted anything to do with me since.”

Hyunjin pulled you closer, adjusting your position so you were laying across his chest. Your small voice broke his heart. “Sweetheart, it wasn’t your fault.”

“How was it not?” You sobbed. “He killed himself right after. Hyunjin I killed him.”

Hyunjin sat up a little bit, pulling you closer to his chest when you started to shake. “Love, you didn’t kill him. You weren’t the reason he killed himself.” Hyunjin paused, trying to find the right words. “He was probably dealing with a lot more than he let on.”

“He used to call me his little princess.” Your hand grasped his shirt, as if the thin cotton fabric would help bring you back to earth.

Hyunjin’s heart dropped, guilt consuming him as he rubbed your back. “I’m sorry sweetheart.”

If you weren’t so distraught over past demons, you’d probably be giddy. The bad boy in the neighborhood is holding you closer AND letting you snot in his chest, like… wow you were in love with him.

Wow… you truly were in love with him. Was that weird? Were you moving too fast? You’ve only known the guy for like a week. He helped you a handful of times around the apartment and sat here all night watching movies with you. What were you to him?

The thought of being nothing to the ebony-haired man made you even more depressed. You pulled away from his embrace, wiping your tears away as Hyunjin moved closer.

“Sorry I guess what they say is true. 2 AM truly is the honesty hour.” You chuckled, trying to hide your sniffles as you rubbed your eyes.

“Hey…” Hyunjin’s concerned eyes watched for any signs of hesitance as he kept sliding closer to you. “Come here.” He reached his hand out.

You sighed and rested your hand in his, allowing the boy to pull you into his embrace once more.

“You and I are kindred spirits.” Hyunjin chuckled. “So I know you’ll make it through this.” He squeezed your body tighter. “You’re doing so well.”

“M’not.” You mumbled, exhaustion beginning to take over your senses. Hyunjin’s body felt so nice and warm — so comfortable. You couldn’t help but sink into his embrace.

Hyunjin laid you down onto the blankets and pillows, chuckling when you whined and reached for him. “I’m coming sweetheart. Don’t worry.”

He laid beside you, pulling your body flush against his as his chin rested on your shoulder. “Is this okay?”

“Mhm.” You mumbled, leaning back into his embrace.

The sounds of his gentle breathing mixed with the feeling of his body pressed against yours put you to sleep almost instantly. You could swear you felt his lips against your cheek before you drifted off, dreaming about a simpler life where you could be with him.

--------------

Fortunately your breakdown that night didn’t scare Hyunjin off. In fact, he became a frequent visitor. Movie nights, game nights, and random dinners were common with the two of you. At some point, boundaries completely disappeared and Hyunjin started to just barge into your apartment whenever he needed something.

Usually he was barging in after a fight, asking you for first aid supplies and a bag of frozen peas to ease the pain of his black eye.

Speaking of barging in…

“Hey do you have some frozen peas?” You heard Hyunjin’s voice echo in the apartment as he strolled in.

“How many times have I told you to at least knock?” You pulled the peas out of your freezer, gasping when you saw his face. “Hyunjin what happened?”

“Don’t worry it’s not serious.” He laughed and grabbed the peas, resting the bag over his black eye.

You scoffed. “Not serious my ass. What did you do this time?”

“Some asshole wouldn’t take no for an answer so I shut him up.” He said matter of factly. “I’m not a fan of men who push themselves on women.”

You shook your head and grabbed the first aid kit from under the sink. “You need to be careful. One of these days you’re not going to come back home and I-” You paused.

“You what?” His eyes watched your every move, a small smile tugging at his lips.

You wanted to confess, you really did. This would be a great opportunity to tell him that your friendship meant the world to you and you wouldn’t be able to live without him in your life.

After that night you practically cuddled with him, your heart would go into overdrive when he came around. It had been a few months since then. You guys were constantly hanging out. You should tell him how you feel.

“Who would fix my sink when it goes to shit?”

Nice.

Hyunjin threw his head back and laughed. “That’s what you’re worried about?” He chuckled. “Don’t worry sweetheart, I’ll teach you how to fix things before I die.”

“No you aren’t going to die. I’ll kill you if you do.” You poured some rubbing alcohol onto a cotton pad.

“Sweetheart, your logic confuses me.” Hyunjin laughed.

“Whatever, quit moving so I can fix your face.” The close proximity made your face heat up. He really was gorgeous.

Hyunjin lowered the bag of frozen peas, showing you the rest of his battle wounds from the fight. He had a scratch over the bridge of his nose, a scrape over his eyebrow, and his lower lip was busted. Hyunjin winced when you pressed the cotton pad over his scrapes and scratches.

“Does it hurt?” You asked.

“Not too bad.” Hyunjin closed his eyes.

“I mean, when you get into these fights. Do they hurt?” You had a feeling he’d respond with a sarcastic comment. You were surprised when he was honest.

“Not really. I don’t feel it until after. In the moment, I’m usually trying to protect someone, so I usually don’t focus on how many hits I take.” His voice was small.

You gasped dramatically. “So you don’t get into fights for fun?”

“Ha ha, very funny.” Hyunjin chuckled and shoved your shoulder making you drop the cotton pad on the floor. You quickly leaned down to go grab it, not realizing Hyunjin did the same thing. When you lifted your head to make a snide comment, your lips brushed against his.

Your heart stopped as he froze, his plump lips gently resting upon yours. You could see his cheeks heat up as he pulled away. “I’m sorry. That was an accident.”

“No it’s fine.” More than fine actually. Please come back.

“I’m going to head home. Call if you need anything.” And just like that… he was gone.

--------------

That accidental kiss was all that was on your mind the entire night. You’ve wanted to confess to the boy for months. Perhaps it was time?

You weren’t sure if confessing would take your relationship to the next level, or if it would destroy your friendship. Either way, you knew it had to be done. Your heart longed for something more. The more you got to know the boy, the more you wanted him for yourself. Which led you to this moment.

Your inner turmoil lead you to seek out some liquid courage. A bottle of wine later, you found yourself standing in front of the love of your life’s door. You pulled your hand up, ready to knock, until Hyunjin’s neighbor stepped out with her little dog.

“Young lady, what are you doing out here dressed like that?” Mrs. Robertson shook her finger at you, scowling at your choice of attire.

Yeah she had a point. You were out in a shitty apartment complex wearing just your shorts and a tank top. Your little outfit didn’t leave much to the imagination. But that didn’t matter. If the night went well, you wouldn’t be wearing anything soon.

“I wanna see Hyunjin.” you slurred as you pulled your hand back to knock once more.

“Honey.” Mrs. Robertson looked sad. “You don’t want to be messing with that boy. He’s no good for you.” She shook her head. “That boy constantly comes home with cuts and bruises. Do you really want to be with someone so violent?”

“I love him.” You mumbled. “I love him so much it hurts.”

Mrs. Robertson looked disappointed. “Well, I’m just an old lady. What do I know?” She chuckled before exiting the apartment complex.

Before you could knock, your mind started to wander. What if she was right? Hyunjin doesn’t hesitate to get into fights. Would he ever do that with you?

You could remember all the times Hyunjin stuck up for you. He went out of his way to make sure you were safe and happy. If you ever needed anything he’d be there, no questions asked. After all the nice things he’s done for you, you found it hard to believe he’d ever hurt you.

Fuck it.

You knocked anyways.

You couldn't stop the wide grin that took over your face when Hyunjin opened the door. Seeing his beautiful face after daydreaming about him all night made you want to kiss him even more. Hyunjin’s brows creased when he saw how obviously drunk you were.

“What on earth are you doing here?” He chuckled a bit as his eyes raked over your body. “Go home and get some clothes on, you dork.” He ruffled your hair.

“No.” You nearly fell forward, making the boy reach out and hold your arms so you could steady yourself. You went with the flow and wrapped your arm around his shoulders. “I want you.” You paused for a second, trying to find the right words. “I don’t care what happens in the morning. I want to be with you tonight.” You pressed your lips against Hyunjin’s.

Hyunjin grabbed your hips and pushed you away, causing you to fall backwards onto your butt. For a second you saw worry flash in his eyes, but the look of concern was quickly replaced with something you couldn’t quite place… Hurt? Disgust? You couldn’t tell, but you knew exactly how he felt when he said, “Get out.”

Hyunjin immediately shut the door on you, leaving you heart-broken and dizzy on the floor. You couldn’t believe he shut the door on you. Your stubborn side came out and you stood up, knocking on the door once more.

Hyunjin opened and immediately lifted you over his shoulder, making you yelp in surprise. He walked right over to your apartment and opened the door, walking over to your bedroom. Hyunjin tossed you on the mattress and tucked you in bed, ignoring your pleas for him to do something — anything to let you know that he wasn’t upset.

“Hyunjin please!” You reached out to him as he walked away. “I love you. Please don’t leave me.”

Hyunjin paused, looking over his shoulder before saying, “I could never love someone like you.”

“Why?” You sobbed. You didn’t understand. The two of you got along so well. You were positive he felt the same.

“I could never love someone who murders their own brother.”

Ouch.

Your heart completely shattered in your chest as you watched him walk out. You fell back in bed, mind blank as you heard the door to Hyunjin’s apartment slam shut as he left to do what he always does when he’s upset. He went to drink and start a fight.

Tears ran down your cheeks as your mind played through the amazing memories you shared with Hyunjin. All those great memories couldn’t have been for nothing. If he really hated you because of what you did to your brother, he wouldn’t have been friends with you for this long right?

Maybe it was wishful thinking? Maybe you were being stupid? You were praying that all of this would end up being a dream. Why can’t you wake up from this nightmare?

Your mind raced and raced as you cried in your pillow, praying that Hyunjin would come back and comfort you. You cried until exhaustion took over, helping you drift off to sleep.

--------------

CRASH!

You gasped and sat up in your bed, sweat trickling down your brow as you listened for an intruder. The door creaked in the living room, quiet footsteps echoing throughout the small apartment. Pure panic took over your senses as the footsteps moved closer to your bedroom door.

Fuck what do you do?

Sure it could be Hyunjin… but after that stunt you pulled tonight, you’d be surprised if he even wanted to talk to you again.

Your hands ran along the sheets, hoping to feel the familiar plastic case your phone was in, but your phone was nowhere to be found. Shit! You couldn’t even call or text anyone. If you screamed for Hyunjin, the intruder would hear.

The apartment complex was shitty. It wasn’t likely that anyone was coming to steal. You couldn’t shake the feeling that this guy was some sort of murderer, coming to take you from the world for all the stupid shit you’ve done to Hyunjin over the past year.

The doorknob turned. You moved faster than you ever have before, sliding off the bed and pushing your body underneath the bed frame. Hopefully this serial killer would assume no one’s home and leave.

Your heart beat against your chest so hard, you were wondering if he could hear it form the other side of the door. The door opened, and you saw two muddy-ass boots step into the room. You clamped your hand over your mouth as tears rolled down your cheeks.

This was it.

You were going to die.

The man walked around the bedroom, pausing to knock a picture frame to the ground.

That fucker.

A picture of you and Hyunjin slid underneath the bed, reminding you of everything that happened between you two. While the man was going through your underwear drawer, you pulled the picture towards you, tracing your thumb over Hyunjin’s smiley face. You prayed that you’d survive the night so you could see his face again, even if it was just to apologize for your reckless behavior.

A loud crash startled you. More tears rolled down your cheeks when you saw your jewelry box, shattered on the floor. Your jewelry wasn’t the most expensive things you could find in a store, but they still had value. The man picked up everything, from the cheap Claire’s jewelry to the fifty year old ring your grandmother gave you when she passed.

You yelped when the man made eye contact, an evil grin taking over his features as he grabbed your arms and pulled you out from under the bed. You screamed, but he clamped his hand over your mouth. “What do we have here?” The man snarled. “Don’t you look pretty?”

Tears ran down your cheeks as you pushed on his hand, trying — and failing — to get away from him. You felt his nose running across your neck, breath ghosting across your skin as he inhaled your scent. “You smell nice princess.”

He threw you to the floor. You cried out in pain as your head hit the dresser, the corner cutting your forehead. You could feel the blood drip down your face. Head wounds bleed a lot. If you did make it out of this alive, this was going to be a bitch to clean up.

You couldn’t help but wonder why no one came to investigate. Your screams weren’t quiet.

“Someone help me! Hyunjin please.” You screamed, only to be kicked in the stomach.

“So you’re Hyunjin’s girl?” He smirked. What? How did this man know Hyunjin? You shouldn’t be surprised considering the man was known for hanging out with the wrong crowd, but you couldn’t imagine him being friends with such a horrible human being.

Hwang Hyunjin wasn’t like the other horrible men in that town. He was kind and caring. The dude got into fights to protect young unsuspecting women at the bar. He wasn’t a bad man.

A picture frame flying across the room, nearly hitting your head making you realize that — shit, you really had it bad. There was a man robbing you blind and you were sitting here thinking of Hwang Hyunjin. You wanted him to randomly show up and beat this fucker up, but deep down you knew that wasn’t going to happen.

After all, he was pissed off after your little stunt earlier. That’s probably why he’s choosing to remain in his room, oblivious to it all.

“You have more valuables than this. Where are they?” The man growled as he pulled slid everything off of your dresser, various glass knick knacks shattering on the hardwood floor.

“I don’t have any more.” You wrapped your arms around yourself. You didn’t. The asshole probably already found your phone and laptop. There wasn’t much else in that apartment that had value.

The robber grabbed you by your hair, yanking you up in front of his face. The incessant burning in your scalp made you whimper in pain, tears rolling down your cheeks. Your hands pushed on his as you tried to get away from him, but he was too strong. “Where are they?!”

You cried out in pain before yelling “My laptop! My laptop is all I have left. It’s on the couch.” You sobbed, hand shakily pointing to the living room. “Please don’t hurt me.” You begged.

“I wouldn’t have to if you didn’t lie to me princess.”

That fucking pet name...

Suddenly a brute force knocked you into the dresser. Were you just punched? You could make out a slight stinging in your cheek, but otherwise you felt fuzzy. It felt as though your brain was shaking in your head. You couldn’t make out anything other than the sound of your heartbeat in your ears.

A kick to your leg brought you back from the dizziness, sudden pain taking over your senses. It was as if someone flipped a switch, allowing you to feel all the pain at once. Your hands rested over your thigh, hoping the soft rubbing would soothe the pain. You heard the robber say something, but what was it?

Next thing you knew he was gone, and it was only you laying on the floor, attempting to regain some form of control over your body. You felt confused. You felt alone. Your mind wandered — once again — to the ebony haired boy you fell in love with... the one who broke your heart.

How on earth did Hyunjin go through so many fights? That shit was painful. As if on cue, your head started to throb. You weren’t even hit multiple times. How was he able to withstand all that pain? Especially for someone else?

Why did he want to protect every other girl in town except you?

Anxiety hit you suddenly, leaving you sobbing uncontrollably on the floor. You were just robbed. You could have been murdered. What if the man comes back? What if he wants to beat you more? What if he wants to kill you so you can’t go to the police?

Where was Hyunjin?

God, you can’t even go five minutes without thinking about Hyunjin. You wanted — no, NEEDED to see him. Even if it was just for a moment. Despite the little disagreement you guys had earlier, he had to be there for you right? You’ve patched him up several times. Surely he’d at least help you now?

You slowly stood up, wincing when your head started to spin. You couldn’t really focus on anything, so you ended up stumbling across broken glass and bumping into everything in your apartment, but you still ended up in front of Hyunjin’s door.

You slowly lifted your hand and knocked three times. “Hyunjin? Are you there?” You sniffled. Jesus you sounded horrible. You knocked once more. “Please be there.” Your voice was small as you banged on the door once more.

So he wasn’t home.

It was a bittersweet feeling. Hyunjin wasn’t ignoring your cries for help, like everyone else in that apartment complex. He was just out. But still, you felt conflicted.

You sunk down the door and sobbed as the emotions hit you. Your whole body hurt, you were scared and alone, and all you wanted was Hyunjin.

“Sweetheart? What’s wrong?” Hyunjin rushed to your side. “Oh my god, sweetheart who did this?” His hands rested on your cheeks, eyes filled with a mixture of anger and concern.

You opened your mouth, but no sound would come out. Your chest felt tight as you started to hyperventilate. You wanted to hug him — hold him, but you couldn’t get your body to move.

“Sweetheart? What happened?” Hyunjin’s eyes went wide when he saw your feet, cut-up and bloody from the broken glass on the floor. “Okay, we’ll talk about it inside. Let’s go.”

You threw your arms around his shoulders, sobbing when his arms wrapped around your back. This was all you wanted. To feel safe in his arms.

“Let me unlock the door.” Hyunjin quickly unlocked the door with one hand and carried you inside. One hand left your waist to turn the lock once more after he kicked the door shut with his foot.

You sniffled as you looked around the apartment. Despite being close with the boy over the last year, you never went to his place. He always barged into yours, claiming it was more homey.

Hyunjin’s apartment was fixed up nice, furnished with nice furniture and decorated with various vases, house plants, and a cute little dog dancing around his feet.

How the fuck did he manage to get such a nice apartment? Well… he was pretty handy. Hyunjin probably fixed this place up on his own over the years. The apartment looked like the ones you’d see in the expensive apartment complexes.

When Hyunjin set you down in his bed you couldn’t help but panic. Your hand darted out grabbing his.

As Hyunjin set you down on the bed, you felt yourself panic. Your hand darted out, grabbing his when he went to leave the room.

“Hey it’s okay. You’re okay.” Hyunjin rubbed your back gently. “I need to get the first aid kit.”

“Stay with me.” Your voice broke his heart.

“I have to leave for one second sweetheart. I just need to get the first aid kit, then I’ll be back. I won’t leave your side after I clean you up okay?” Hyunjin’s voice was so soft, sweet, and caring. Your hand slid out of his, allowing the boy to rush over to his bathroom.

You rested on the bed while Hyunjin rummaged through the bathroom for the first aid kit, anxiety bubbling in your chest as you waited for him to return. What was going to happen? You thought Hyunjin didn’t like you… Why was he acting so loving?

“Got it!” Hyunjin rushed back into the room, eyes widening when he saw the blood on the mattress. “Oh my god you’re bleeding a lot. Hold on sweetheart, I’ll get you fixed up.”

You panicked when you saw the blood on his blanket. “Oh my god I’m so sorry.” You broke down, sobbing as your thumb ran over the blood spots on the blanket.

“Sweetheart it’s okay!” Hyunjin pulled you into his arms, gently rocking you back and forth as he tried to talk you through your little panic attack. “Breathe for me baby. Breathe with me.” He pulled your arms up around his neck, coaxing you to straddle his hips. His hands rested on either side of your face as he took deep breaths, hoping you’d follow his lead.

“You’re okay love.” He wrapped his arms around your lower back, pulling you closer to his body. “It’s okay. You’re safe with me. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I was so scared.” You whimpered. “It hurt so bad.”

Hyunjin’s eyes closed as he listened to your sobs. “You were so brave. You did so good sweetheart.”

“I’m not strong like you.” You held him tighter.

“You shouldn’t have to be.” Hyunjin whispered in your ear. “I’m only strong because I have someone to protect.”

“Who?” You wondered who he was so desperate to protect.

Hyunjin merely chuckled and gently rested you on the bed. “Let me clean your cuts.”

“Hyunjin.” You grabbed his collar, pulling him closer. “Who?”

Hyunjin pursed his lips and pulled your hands off his collar. “Let me clean you up first. Then we’ll talk.”

What on earth does he want to talk about? All you wanted to know was whether or not he was in love with someone else. Sure, him loving another woman would suck, but at least you knew he didn’t hate you.

Well… that was pretty obvious by the way he was taking care of you.

His soft hands pulled your foot onto his lap as he poured some rubbing alcohol onto a cotton pad. You winced when he pressed the pad to your foot, the sharp sting making you yelp in pain.

“I’m sorry sweetheart.” Hyunjin shot you a concerned look. “It’ll be over soon.”

Once he finished fixing you up, he allowed you to sit up and collect your thoughts. He wanted nothing more than to dart to your side and pull you close, but he knew you were probably confused.

“Who?”

Hyunjin couldn’t help but chuckle when you asked once more. “Are you an owl love?”

“Dammit Hyunjin!” You shoved his shoulder, eyes tearing up once more. “You can’t tell me I’m a horrible person and then treat me like this.” You sniffled and wiped your tears.

“It hurt when you left.” Tears rolled down your cheek as you recalled the painful memories. “You told me you’d protect me.” You sobbed.

You knew it was unfair to blame him for the night’s events, but you were upset with him. It wasn’t fair for him to play with your feelings like this.

“Baby, I’m sorry.” Hyunjin teared up as he rested his hand on your thigh. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me.”

Your eyes widened as a tear fell down his cheek.

“You were never supposed to get hurt.” He wiped his cheek. “I left you so I wouldn’t hurt you anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“Baby.” Hyunjin’s voice was soft. “You think I didn’t notice? You always looked so upset when I came over for first aid.”

“Because I don’t want you dead in a ditch!” You straddled his hips, resting his cheeks in your hands. “I love you dammit.”

Please love me back...

Suddenly, Hyunjin’s lips were on yours. The hands that were resting on your waist were now pulling you closer to him as his soft lips danced with yours.

You could hear a muffled. “I love you,” against your lips as Hyunjin kissed you passionately.

“Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.” You mumbled against his lips. “You’re so sweet.”

I’m glad you think so.” Hyunjin chuckled and pressed a soft kiss on your forehead. “Look at me love.” Hyunjin tilted your chin up, smiling when your eyes met his. “I need you to tell me what happened so I can fix this.”

“You don’t need to fix anything.” You leaned into his chest, enjoying the feeling of his arms around your waist. “Please just stay with me. Don’t do anything.” You pressed a kiss to his lips. “Just love me.”

“I do love you.” Hyunjin kissed you. “But that man hurt the one I love.” He kissed you once more. “The one I want to protect the most.”

“Hyunjin please don’t.” You pulled him closer to your chest. “Just stay.” You reached for his hand, squeezing it gently.

“Just tell me what happened.” He leaned forward into your touch, resting his head against your chest. “I’ll stay. Just tell me what he did to you.”

“He broke in and tried to take all my stuff.” Your head shook a couple times as memories from the robbery flooded your brain.

Hyunjin chuckled a bit against your skin as he pressed soft kisses to your collarbone. “Why didn’t you just let him take everything love?”

His eyes widened when he felt you shake in his arms. “I did. He hit me anyways.”

“Shhhhh. You’re safe now.” He pressed soft kisses up your neck, trying to distract you from your thoughts. “I won’t let anyone hurt you. Not again.”

You felt shivers up your spine as Hyunjin pressed sloppy kisses along your neck. His hands ran along your back as you unconsciously ground your hips against his, coaxing a quiet moan from the boy.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Hyunjin’s doe eyes watched yours. “We can wait. You’ve been through a lot.”

“No.” You pressed your lips against his. “I want this.” Your hips shifted once more. “I’ve wanted this for so long.”

Hyunjin chuckled at your confession. “How long?”

“Since I met you at the bar.” You kissed him again. “I’ve loved you ever since.”

You gasped when Hyunjin pushed you down onto his groin. You could feel how hard he was through his jeans as the rough fabric rubbed across your groin. “Please I can’t wait anymore.” You moaned when Hyunjin lifted your tank top over your head, leaving your breasts bare before his wandering eyes.

“You’re just as beautiful as I thought you’d be.” Hyunjin’s cheeks flushed as he leaned forward, taking one of your nipples in his mouth. His tongue swirled around the bud, giving one gentle suck before releasing your nipple. Your back arched into his touch as his hands gently squeezed your breasts, until he leaned forward, dropping you onto the mattress below.

Hyunjin hovered over you, pressing soft kisses to your lips. His tongue ran across your lower lip, slipping into your mouth with ease when you parted your lips. Feeling his tongue swipe against yours sent your body into overdrive. You moaned into his mouth, back arching into his body as you wrapped your legs around him.

Hyunjin sat up, pulling your legs away from him before he spotted the large bruise on your left thigh. He leaned down, softly running his index finger around the dark purple bruise. “This looks painful.”

“It’s fine.” You smiled at him. “Trust me Hyunjin. Everything’s fine. I have you now.” You reached up to him, untucking the shirt from his jeans. “Please get your clothes off so I can stop imagining what your body looks like.”

Hyunjin threw his head back and laughed, a high-pitched, boyish giggle echoing throughout the room. “What have you been imagining?”

Your cheeks flushed red, sending the boy into another fit of giggles. “I don’t know…”

“Okay, if you tell me what that mind of yours has daydreamed, I’ll take off a piece of clothing.” Hyunjin smirked.

“I’ve been through a lot.” You pouted. “Are you really going to force me through this mental trauma.”

Hyunjin chuckled and pulled your shorts and underwear off in one go, making you flush and close your legs. “If you want me just as naked as you are, you’ll do it.”

“I imagine you have abs?” You questioned, reaching for his shirt.

Hyunjin laughed and pulled his shirt off, revealing a toned stomach, yet no abs. “Sorry to disappoint my dear. I eat too much to have abs.”

“Fuck you.” You leaned up and ran your hand along his stomach. “You eat like a garbage disposal. How the fuck are you this thin?”

“I can thank my genetics for a fast metabolism.” He laughed and kissed your forehead. “What next?”

You flushed as you thought about his thighs and how much you wanted to run your hands along them. “You have muscular thighs?”

“Do you think I’m some beefcake?” He giggled as he pulled his pants down, revealing fairly thin, but muscular thighs.

“Oh hush.” Your fingertips ran along his thighs, making the boy visibly shiver underneath your fingertips. “You’re beautiful.”

Hyunjin flushed red. “Thanks, but you’re prettier.”

It was your turn to flush bright red. You giggled as you hooked your fingers in his boxers, ready to pull them down until he grabbed your hands in his. “Ah ah ah. We had a deal.”

Hyunjin smirked when you stuttered. “You… um…”

Hyunjin couldn’t help but chuckle. “Let me give you a hint. I’m not average sized.”

Oh that’s big dick energy right there.

“You have a massive cock.” You giggled as the embarrassment hit you. “God it feels so weird to say that.”

Hyunjin laughed. “You’re adorable.” He pulled down his boxers, allowing his pretty cock to spring up.

Yep… Hyunjin was pretty large. If you had to guess, he was probably 7 ish inches. The boy’s dick was long and fairly thin, but you could tell that he’d fill you up just right.

“You’re hot.” you blurted out, facepalming when you realized how juvenile you sounded. “You’re sexy. You’re beautiful... You…”

“Thanks for all the compliments, but tonight is about you.” Hyunjin smirked and crawled up the bed until he was hovering over you. He kissed you softly before resting his forehead against yours. “Are you sure you want this?”

“Yes baby, I already said yes. Please, I need you.” You pulled him closer, kissing him deeply.

Hyunjin parted, kissing your forehead before whispering, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t hurt me.” You ran your hand along his cheek. “I’m not made of glass.”

“No sweetheart.” Hyunjin rested his forehead against yours once more. “You were beaten like an hour ago. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Baby.” You brushed his bangs out of his face. “I’m not made of glass.” You repeated. “I’ll be okay.”

Hyunjin nodded and connected your lips in a soft kiss. You moaned as he kissed down your body, hooking your thighs over his shoulders. You shivered in anticipation as Hyunjin’s breath ghosted over your core — each puff of breath sending waves of arousal coursing through you.

“Fuck Hyunjin please.” You moaned. “I’ve waited so long for you.”

Hyunjin smirked and mumbled, “You don’t have to wait anymore.”

As soon as the words left his lips, he dove into your folds, causing you to jerk and moan underneath his tongue. He slurped loudly at your clit as his hands held your hips down. Hyunjin smirked as he pulled away. “What do you think baby? Am I as good as you imagined I would be?”

You let out a loud moan, hands tangling in his hair as you replied, “Even better.”

Hyunjin dove back in, rolling his tongue across your clit as your thighs shook on either side of his head. His tongue worked magic on your core while your hands dug into his scalp, scratching lightly. He could tell you were getting close, so he pulled away, making you groan in frustration.

“Why did you stop?” You panted.

“I want you to cum around my cock.” Hyunjin crawled up your body and hovered over you, resting his hips against yours. You could feel his hard cock press against your folds as he leaned down to kiss your lips. “Are you sure -”

“For the love of god yes!” You snapped.

“Fine.” Hyunjin snapped his hips into yours, shoving his entire length inside you in one go. You gasped at the sudden intrusion, loud moans escaping your lips when he set a harsh pace. Your hands practically clawed at his back, trying to hold on as he moved against you.

Finally, after one whole year of daydreaming and hoping you’d end up with Hwang Hyunjin, you had him to yourself… and his eyes were only for you. The boy’s hips slammed against yours, the tip of his cock ramming into your cervix with each thrust. You felt so close to him, yet you wanted more. “Please Hyunjin, I’m close.”

“Me too.” Hyunjin grunted, long eyelashes drifting shut as he shifted his hips, allowing his cock to hit your g-spot. You reached between your bodies, rubbing your clit frantically as you chased your release. “I’m cumming.” you gasped. “Oh!” You clenched around Hyunjin, milking him into his own orgasm as he continued to thrust, helping you ride out your high.

Hyunjin pulled out and slowly lowered his body on top of yours. The boy’s hair tickled your nose, making you giggle as you ran your fingers through the ebony locks.

“What are you laughing about?” Hyunjin looked up at you, a soft smile gracing his lips.

“Nothing.” You smiled. “I love you.” You watched the boy’s eyes close as you scratched at his scalp lightly.

“Mmmm. That feels good.” Hyunjin smiled and kissed your collarbone.

You continued running your fingers through his hair. “Jinnie?”

Hyunjin looked up at you and cocked an eyebrow. “That’s new.” Your cheeks flushed as you suddenly got shy.

“Sorry, uh. Hyunjin.” Your eyes met his, nearly making you a puddle of mush on the bed.

“I never said I didn’t like it.” He smiled at you before rolling off your body and pulling you on top of his.

Being on his chest was amazing. You nearly forgot what you were going to ask him, until he asked, “What did you want to ask love?”

He ran his hands across your back, as your arms wrapped around him. “You have no idea how much I love you. You won’t leave me right?”

You were beyond tired at this point, half-asleep as you mumbled the words into his chest. You wondered if he ever heard you. After hearing your boyfriend beam and kiss your cheek, you figured he heard you just fine.

“Want to know the truth?” Hyunjin whispered in your ear.

“Mhmm.” You mumbled as you started to drift off.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I would never leave you.”

290 notes · View notes

recollins · 4 years

Text

Say My Name (Spencer Reid x you)

NSFW. Now that their feelings for one another are out in the open, Spencer and the reader enjoy their night together. Part 1 Pairing: Spencer x Female Reader Words: 5,209 Content: Smut Warnings: None Warnings: 99% smut, the hint of some fluff, oral sex (male and female receiving), light choking, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before ya tap it, y'all) A/N: If y’all are just here for the spoons and don’t want the smut, you can skip to the end! Masterlist - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - --

Spencer Reid was methodical, exact, and precise, even down to the way he kissed. He’d wasted no time in shoving you back up against the hotel wall with one hand on your neck and the other on your hip. Your kiss broke momentarily as your shoulders hit and you slumped away, stunned and breathless, but in the next moment his lips were back on yours.

His teeth nipped against your bottom lip and you parted again without question, tongues slipping together as the hand on your hip began to slide up your waist, beneath your shirt. His long, slim fingers danced lightly over your skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake that had you shivering beneath him again.

This side of the him was something you’d never thought really existed. Sure, you’d imagined it plenty of times, thanks to the unfairly gorgeous doctor himself. Bursts of his dominant personality rose up now and again: snapping at a suspect to sit down, getting a mouthy officer to be respectful and drop the attitude… and the day he’d actually slammed an UnSub against the table to wrangle cuffs onto him… oof.

The thoughts couldn’t be helped, creeping up with no warning and refusing to go away until you acknowledged them. Which usually ended up being late at night with your fingers buried inside yourself, pumping desperately as your thumb rolled over your clit, gasping out Reid’s name as you chased your release.

Now, it fell off your tongue out of habit as his fingers paused just below your breast, just inches from where you wanted him to be. He pulled back from the kiss and when you opened your eyes you met his gaze, gentle brown eyes a stark contrast to the hungry kiss you’d just pulled out of.

“Is this alright?” he murmured; his hand was practically twitching to move. You were dying for him to take control, praying your lust-driven fantasies had been right about a hidden side.

“Yes,” was all you managed to breathe, but that was good enough for him. His large hand slid up and cupped your breast over your bra, roughly squeezing and brushing his tongue over your sensitive nipple. His swollen lips attached to your jaw, working a sloppy line up towards your ear. You’d managed to stay mostly quiet, but when his mouth fell to your neck and you felt his tongue run against your flushed skin you let out a moan.

Reid’s hand tightened against the side of your neck, just below the lips sucking a mark against your pulse point, making the next moan catch in your throat. He felt the hitch and smiled against your skin before he lifted just long enough to whisper,

“Quiet, [y/n]… I don’t want the team knowing what I’m about to do to you.”

Your entire body thrummed with aching desire, his words pulling a shiver out of you. Reid felt the response and you felt him smile again as he kissed the base of your throat. Both hands slid down your body and he grabbed the hem of your shirt, tugging it experimentally. You nodded eagerly and in a flash your top was pulled off and thrown across the room.

He didn’t instantly grab you again, though. His hands settled on your hips and he leaned back a hint to look you up and down. Your cheeks flushed as you dropped your eyes, instantly self-conscious until Reid murmured, “Wow. You… you’re gorgeous.”

The honesty in his voice got your eyes to lift up to his once more, and the look of adoration left you almost more speechless than his lips and tongue had. Slower this time, he closed the distance and pressed his body to yours entirely, both hands coming up to cup your face as he pulled you into a surprisingly tender kiss.

One hand wrapped over one of his wrists as your lips worked against his slowly, sensually, drawing out a sigh when you finally pulled away. For a moment, you both smiled shyly at one another, the emotions of the moment catching up to you. Wordlessly, you reached down and grabbed his own shirt, and he allowed you to pull it off out of the way, throwing it into the corner of the room after your own.

Jesus, the man was attractive. He was lean, but the six hundred layers he insisted on wearing everyday had hidden the tone of muscle he had. Your hands settled on his chest and your fingers experimentally slid over his skin, dancing down his torso, coming to pause at the top of his sweats. When you looked up at him, your stomach flipped seeing the hunger in his stare.

The soft caramel of his eyes had darkened to a deep, lustful chocolate that made your mouth run dry. Holding his powerful gaze, your fingers slowly dipped into the waistband slipping against his skin until they brushed the tops of his underwear.

Encouraged by the look on his face, you slid your hands to his hips again and pushed the sweats down, letting them drop to the floor. The sight of him in just his boxer-briefs made your mouth water, and you licked your lips subconsciously as your fingers danced over the skin above his waistband. Reid groaned at the movement, at the flick of your tongue, and without warning your hand dropped to brush against his hardening bulge.

He couldn’t hold back anymore.

Both hands came up, cupping your breasts and kneading roughly over the lace covering them. You gasped and instantly his lips were on yours, tongue forcing your mouth open, swallowing the next whimper he drew from you. He let one hand slip around your back, deft fingers unhooking your bra and slipping it off your shoulders almost instantly. His bare hands on your chest was a sensation you hadn’t been prepared for and you arched against him on instinct. His thumbs flicked over your sensitive buds and you groaned again.

This time, he nipped at your lip and growled,

“I said quiet.”

You nodded, silent at first, but when he ducked and took a nipple in his mouth, teeth scraping against it, you gasped and dropped your head back as you gasped,

“Oh god, Spencer –“ instantly his eyes were level with yours, widened slightly, staring at you with a breathtaking mix of arousal and surprise. “What?”

“You – you never call me Spencer,” he breathed, eyes somehow even darker than they were before. “Say my name again.”

You raised a brow at him, and a teasing smile curled your lips. It felt good to have that minimal power over him. He’d been in charge since he’d backed you to the wall. To see him this hungry for you…

“Make me,” you whispered. A low, ravenous growl tore out of his throat and he kissed you with a hunger you didn’t know possible. Taking your challenge to heart, Spencer dipped low and grabbed the backs of your thighs, lifting you up against him briefly before turning and dropping you to the bed, placing himself over you in the next instant.

As you went to run your hands through his hair, he broke the kiss and pulled back, catching your wrists easily to pin them to the mattress above your head. He held them in place with a single large hand, positioning himself beside you now as his free hand brushed over your throat again. For a heartbeat, you wondered what it’d feel like to have those long fingers tighten around your neck as he forced an orgasm out of you… but in the next they slid down, tracing a path to your chest.

Momentarily he cupped each breast one at a time, squeezing hard and brushing his thumb against the sensitive nipples to pull a breathy moan from you. On instinct you struggled against his hold, which only got him to tighten his grip around your wrists. His fingers skimmed down your chest, over your stomach, and then swept across to your hip. Meeting your eyes, his pointer finger slid feather-light from one hipbone to the other, following the low curve of your jeans and making you squirm.

You could feel how wet you were already, almost embarrassingly so. You’d dreamed of this happening, pictured almost this exact scenario so many nights that now you were losing yourself to the sensations faster than you should’ve been. Your body was aching for him, dying to know if those deliciously long fingers felt as good curled inside of you as you imagined.

He smirked at the response he was drawing out, ducking his head briefly as he undid the button and slid your zipper down slowly. Palm flat on your lower stomach, he began to slide his fingers beneath your jeans and over the soft cotton of your panties. His lips attached to your neck and you arched your head back, giving him more access to nip and suck as he pleased while he gently worked your jeans down your legs. As soon as you could you kicked your legs free and moved your legs apart.

“Eager, [y/n]?” he murmured, now kissing up your jaw before catching your lips in a searing kiss. You moaned against him, nodding eagerly as he pulled back.

“Yes, god, please touch me,” you begged; Spencer’s lips pressed together as a smug smirk curled over them. His free hand fell to your upper thigh, fingers coming to rest along the inside, just below where you wanted him most. When he didn’t move his hand you actually whined. “Please!”

“I am touching you,” he pointed out, the hand on your wrists giving them a light squeeze as the fingers on your inner thigh did the same. “What, is this not what you meant?”

“You know exactly what –“

Spencer kissed you hard again, cutting off your complaint, tongue instantly forcing your lips apart. He took claim over your mouth, tasting every part of you and swallowing the moans he drew out. The hand on your thigh slid up just a hint, the backs of his knuckles just brushing against the cotton panties you knew were undoubtedly soaked through at this point.

He pulled back, nipping at your lower lip as he growled,

“Beg me. Say my name and beg me for what you want, and maybe I’ll let you have it.”

“Please,” you groaned, teasing him long forgotten now that he’d quite literally gotten the upper hand. You shifted under his hold, arching towards him, desperate for his touch. “Please, god, I need your fingers in me Spencer please –“

He let out a broken groan hearing his name fall off your lips again and he ripped your panties down your leg before you’d even finished saying it. A long finger slipped inside your folds, running through your wet heat, briefly brushing over your sensitive bud.

You let out a cry of relief and he kissed you again to keep you quiet as he brought another finger up to follow the movement. You writhed against his touch, hips seeking friction, gasping into his mouth each time he briefly touched your throbbing clit.

“So wet for me already,” he groaned, fingers teasing your entrance. “Ready for me to do whatever I want…”

“Yes,” you promised, and cut off with a gasp, arching up off the bed as he slipped a finger inside. “Fuck, Spencer!”

As he shifted forward you felt his cock twitch at his name again, brushing against your thigh as he pushed another finger inside of you almost instantly. As he pumped his fingers into you, his hips began to rock almost subconsciously, seeking friction against your leg as he worked you open.

When you brought your leg up to meet one of his thrusts he gasped at the feeling, head dropping briefly to your shoulder as he pumped even harder. You both writhed against one another, lost in the sounds of each other’s gasps and groans. As if feeling how desperate you were – with how deep his fingers were inside you there was no doubt he probably could – Spencer finally pulled his hand off your wrists and slid down onto the floor, kneeling in front of you.

Without even removing his fingers, he slid his free arm under your waist and hauled you to the edge until his curls brushed your thighs and he could nose at your folds. His breath ghosted over your soaked center and you bucked up desperately, dying for his mouth on you.

“You need to stay quiet, [y/n],” he warned, and then his mouth was on you. His lips sealed around your clit and he sucked gently against it, tongue darting out to swirl around the bud. One hand flew to his hair, tangling into his messy strands to hold him in place as your other gripped the bedsheets for dear life.

His tongue slid up and down your folds, around the fingers he pumped into you mercilessly, lapping at your juices like a man starved. You were falling apart beneath him at an alarming rate, even more so when he brought his hand up to knead one of your breasts eagerly, rolling your sensitive nipple between his fingers.

“Spence, I – fuck – I’m close –“

He didn’t let up. His tongue swirled your clit again, and as he wrapped his lips over the sensitive bundle of nerves he slipped one more finger inside, filling you up to a point you never knew you craved until now. The hand in the sheets flew to your mouth, pressing hard to try and keep the cry of pleasure silent as your hand in his hair pulled him impossibly closer.

When you let out a strangled breath and looked down your body at Spencer, you were gone. His lust-darkened eyes met yours as he gave a last hard suck against your throbbing bud and you fell over the edge. You bit into the back of your hand as your orgasm wracked your body, washing over you and forcing your eyes to roll back, your body bucking up uncontrollably as your thighs tightened around the man between your legs.

Spencer pumped you through your orgasm until you collapsed onto the mattress, shuddering as he pulled his fingers out and lying limp beneath him as he crawled back up onto the bed. His lips and chin were glistening with your arousal and you watched, enraptured, as his fingers slipped into his mouth to suck your juices clean off them.

You’d never known someone sucking their fingers could be so damn hot, but not a minute after arguably the best orgasm you’d ever had, you were aching for him again. He saw the hunger in your gaze and he sat back, easing his boxer briefs off and kicking them aside. As worn through as you were, your mouth watered and at that moment you wanted nothing more than to taste him.

Grabbing Spencer by the back of the neck, you pulled him down into a kiss. Your tongue swept out over his lips, licking your taste off of him and pulling a desperate moan from him. Shifting to sit up, you turned and managed to nudge him onto his back, getting up onto your knees.

As you pulled from the kiss he watched with hooded eyes as you moved to kneel between his legs. Your hand wrapped around his length and you gave a languid pump; his eyes fluttered shut and he groaned, rolling his hips to meet your movement. He was wildly responsive, so worked up after eating you out that each twist of your wrist drew a shudder from him until he finally gasped out,

“Fuck, [y/n], I can’t take your teasing –“

“Oh?” you mused, giving another pump before swiping your thumb over his sensitive head. Spencer hissed and dropped his head back against the mattress. “What do you want?”

“I want that pretty mouth around my cock,” he rasped, eyes opening and head lifting to fix you with a heated stare. His words sent a wave of arousal through you but you didn’t move, despite how bad you wanted nothing more than to do exactly what he’d just said.

“Beg me for what you want and maybe I’ll let you have it,” you repeated, and when he gave you a disbelieving look through his lashes you pulled your hand completely off him. Spencer actually growled and before you could brace he hooked a leg around your back and pulled you down into reach.

His hand tangled into your hair and he forced your head down as he grabbed his cock, pressing the head against your lips.

“Open,” he ordered, and the ache of desire that surged through you had you obeying before you could think twice. As soon as you parted them he bucked up into you, the fist in your hair pulling you down to force all of his length into your mouth. He bumped the back of your throat and you gagged, struggling to breathe, eyes watering as he pulled back just a bit and thrust up against your throat again.

He couldn’t take his eyes off you as he worked you up and down his cock, the room filled with your slurps and his groans as he picked up the pace. Wrapping your lips around him, you sucked hard on the next thrust and instantly he was pulling you off of him, unable to take it anymore.

Spencer hauled you up his body and flipped you over with surprising strength and speed that went directly to your soaked core. Pinned beneath his lithe body you were at his total mercy again, but both of you were too lost to one another for teasing. He propped up on an elbow staring down at you as he reached between your bodies. You felt the tip of his length run up and down your folds slowly as he murmured,

“Is this okay?”

For a heartbeat, the shy Spencer you knew was back, and you saw the uncertainty in his nervous eyes. After all the two of you had just done, he was still worried about respecting you. Your heart surged and you reached up, cupping his face to pull him into a tender kiss as you nodded.

“Yes. More than okay, Spence. I need you.”

All he could do was manage a nod. He pulled back from the kiss, rested his forehead against yours, and then slowly began to push into you. With each inch you took you lost yourself more and more to the feel of him inside you. Spencer didn’t stop until he was fully sheathed inside of you, both breathing hard, staring at one another with blissful hunger.

“You feel so good,” he murmured, dipping to steal a kiss, and then he began to move. Deliberately, methodically, Spencer pulled out and then rolled his hips forward, dragging along your walls, pulling shudders from you with each slow thrust.

Your hands came up to dig your fingers into his back, clinging to him, gasping as he picked up his pace, lost to the sensation of Spencer Reid finally inside of you. This was easily better than all of your fantasies combined. Nothing, not even your dirtiest, filthiest dreams that had you waking up in a puddle of your arousal could ever match up to the way Spencer fucked into you.

“Faster, Spencer, please,” you groaned, dropping your head back when he instantly obliged. His lips attached to your exposed neck and the feeling of his teeth scraping your skin sent jolts of electricity straight to your core. Your nails raked down his back as you clawed him closer to you.

One of Spencer’s hands planted beside your head, the other falling to your leg to tug it up and hook it over his shoulder. With the new angle he fully bottomed out inside of you and the tip of his cock hit your most sensitive spot.

You let out a cry that immediately cut off when the hand that had grabbed your leg fell to your throat. He put just enough pressure to silence your moans and prove that you definitely liked the feel of his fingers digging into your neck as he brought you closer and closer to the edge.

His lips slid sloppily up your neck, teeth nipping at your earlobe before he murmured,

“Touch yourself. I want to feel you come around my cock.”

You barely managed a nod, a shaky hand sliding between your bodies, thumb pressing against your sensitive clit. You gasped at the feeling, clenching tight around Spencer’s length, and he let out a broken groan as he somehow began to pound into you even faster. You weren’t lasting much longer, not after all the time you’d spent craving this exact feeling.

“’M gonna come,” you rasped out against the pressure on your throat. Spencer only nodded, breath coming in gasps as he fucked into you with reckless abandon. With each thrust now he hit the perfect spot inside of you, pushing you dangerously close to coming undone with every snap of his hips.

Spencer’s hand tightened on your throat just a hint as your thumb swiped harshly over your sensitive bud. You bucked beneath him, unable to hold back any longer.

“Say my name, [y/n],” he all but begged, looking down at you with dark, lidded eyes, watching for your release. “Say my name –“

“Spencer,” you gasped as his words ripped the orgasm from you. You held his gaze until your eyes rolled back, fingers digging into his shoulders, clinging to him for dear life as your second release of the night burned through your body. “Oh my fucking god, Spencer!”

With a choked groan, his hips stuttered and you felt him rock forward, burying himself completely inside of you as his orgasm shuddered through him. His cock twitched inside of you, warmth flooding you as he emptied himself and then slumped forward, completely spent.

Spencer managed to drop down beside you, an arm draped over your stomach as the two of you struggled to get your breath back. Only once your heart had slowed and most of the tingling had stopped did you manage to roll your head to look at him.

To your surprise, he was already looking at you. The hint of a smile played on his full lips and when he saw you looking back, the arm over your stomach came up so he could cup your face gently. His thumb slid softly over your cheek as the two of you studied one another, a warmth settling over you both in the dark of the night.

“I hope that was okay,” he finally said, insecurities again rising up now that the passion was over. You reached up and wrapped your hand over his wrist, giving a gentle squeeze.

“That was more than okay, Spencer,” you assured, getting a shy smile from him. “That was better than I’d ever imagined.”

His brows raised and your cheeks flushed, realizing what you’d let slip. “Oh, god, I’m sorry. That’s so weird. I just – I mean, I don’t want to freak you out –“

“I imagined it too, you know. I’ve wanted you for a long time now. Practically since the day I met you.”

That took the words out of your mouth. All you could do was stare in surprise at Spencer as a blush lit his cheeks. Your hand on his squeezed gently in assurance again as you sighed.

“So you’re saying we could’ve been doing this for almost a year now? Why did it take us so long?”

Spencer sighed and gave a small shrug. “I would’ve been more forthcoming with my feelings, but I honestly never imagined someone as beautiful as you could ever be interested in me. And when you and Morgan didn’t seem to want to be with me –“

“To be clear, the only reason I didn’t was because I was afraid I’d let something slip and make you super uncomfortable, or ruin our friendship. Not because I don’t like you. I mean, I hope I made it clear that I really do like you.”

Spencer chuckled, though he still looked a little off-put. “You certainly did. I honestly was never expecting you to feel for me how I feel about you, but again… I’m not complaining.”

His words from earlier that night – what felt like years ago, now – came back to you and you frowned. You turned completely and snuggled up against his bare chest, pressing your lips softly against his. He hummed into the kiss and you felt him smile. Your hand came up to cup his cheek now too and your tongues met again in a languid dance before you both pulled back.

“I assure you I do, Spence. And if I ever hear you call yourself names like you did ever again I’ll –“

“What,” he mused, brow quirking at me as he asked cheekily, “punish me? Spank me? Find creative ways to shut me up?”

Again, arousal began to pool in your stomach and you did your best to glare at him, pushing off his chest as you moved to get up. If you stayed in his arms you’d end up doing all of that – and more – and you both had to be up early in the morning.

At the look he gave you as you retreated, you pointed to the bathroom. “I’m tired and overdue for a shower. As hot as that all was, I’m definitely worse off than before and I have a feeling you won’t let me under the sheets if I don’t clean up.”

“Ever the avid profiler,” he agreed, and to your surprise he pushed up off the bed as well, starting to follow you. “But the same applies to me and now you’ve negated my previous shower. I don’t have any option other than to join you.”

“I think you certainly do have other options,” you teased, unable to deny the warmth that spread through you as his arms slid around you. He dipped down for a kiss as he backed you to the bathroom and you sighed against his lips. “If you don’t keep your hands to yourself we’re gonna have a really early morning…”

“It’ll be worth it,” he mumbled, his hands wandering over your bare skin, brushing over your ass as he ducked to grab your thighs and lift you up as he had before. The hint of resistance you’d been putting up crumbled instantly as you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him deeper as he carried you into the bathroom. Something told you, regardless of your efforts to behave, you wouldn’t be getting a wink of sleep tonight.

Despite the very late night the two of you ended up having, you and Spencer were the first in the lobby that morning. With time to spare, you ended up sitting at a small table close to the breakfast buffet, and were chowing down and sharing stolen, knowing smiles with one another.

In fact, you were so caught up with each other you didn’t notice Morgan standing at the table until he cleared his throat. You both snapped out of your own little world to look up at him, and you frowned at the look on his face.

“Mornin’, grumpy gills,” you teased, sipping at your coffee. He didn’t even spare a glance at you. His smoldering scowl was locked on the handsome doctor across from you, who’d paused in the process of lifting his toast for a bite.

Neither man blinking, Morgan slowly reached down into his duffel and produced… a spoon. You snorted into your coffee as Spencer fought to keep a straight face.

“That’s an odd thing to bring with you on a case,” he pointed out mildly, taking a bite of his toast as he blinked up at the man in front of us. If possible, the scowl on Morgan’s face deepened and he dropped that spoon on the table before producing another one from the bag.

“Yeah. It really is,” he deadpanned, dropping that one and then pulling out another. And another. You stared at Spencer incredulously as he simply focused on eating his toast, the hint of a pleased smirk teasing his lips.

After the sixth spoon fell onto the table you finally looked back up at Morgan. He was still glowering at Spencer as you snickered,

“So about how many –“

“Nineteen.”

Another snort, and finally his sharp gaze flicked to you as he clinked another spoon onto the pile. Spencer was practically shoving the toast into his face to keep from laughing.

“So I guess better question is why you even have that many spoons in the first place,” you corrected, and he fully paused the production of silverware to give you the most dry look this side of the Sahara desert.

“These aren’t even my spoons!”

“Well apparently then the real problem is you’ve got a fetish for stealing spoons,” you mused, catching Spencer’s eye as he ducked to hide his grin. “Is there a word for that? Besides weird, I mean.”

“Kleptolagnia,” Spencer answered instantly, and you hmm’d as you leaned forward. Morgan resumed dumping spoons on the table. “It’s the state of being sexually aroused by theft. It’s not spoon-specific, but I guess each man has their own preference –“

The last spoon clattered onto the table, nearly sending the whole pile to the floor. You both looked up at Morgan with innocent smiles and he glared between the both of you as he zipped up his duffel.

“After all the work I put into hookin’ the two’a you up, this is the thanks I get?” he asked lowly, fake betrayal in his voice. Both of your cheeks instantly flushed and Morgan smirked. “Yeah. You’re welcome. I want my spoons back, pretty boy. I don’t know how you got ‘em, I don’t know where they are, but I want ‘em back or there’ll be hell to pay.”

“You’ve got nineteen lovely pieces of cutlery to choose from,” I pointed out, patting the pile he’d made. Morgan deadpanned a scowl at me as he backed away.

“Okay [y/n], that’s it. You’re on my radar now too. You better watch yourselves.”

As Morgan turned, heading for the SUV’s, you and Spencer looked back at one another. You held your stares until Morgan was outside and then you both busted out laughing. As you two got up from the table, gathering your bags, Spencer peeked over at you.

“Are you sure you’re ready to be involved in this prank war? Things get pretty intense,” he prefaced, nodding down at the abandoned spoons. You shrugged and, to his surprise, reached out and laced your fingers with his.

“Well, with you as my partner-in-pranks, I think we stand a pretty good chance,” you teased. “I gotta ask, though. Why the spoons?”

Spencer shrugged, mischievous smile coming over his face as he gave your hand a squeeze.

“I ran out of time trying to take his blinds down. If you’re not busy this weekend…”

“It’s a date,” you laughed. Wordlessly, Spencer pulled you to him and pressed a soft, sweet kiss against your lips before you both walked out of the hotel hand-in-hand, wearing the smiles you’d given one another.

- -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! If you have any feedback on this I’m all ears! I’m an asexual virgin so this was written purely from my sister’s inability to keep intimate details to herself,and reading way more smut than I probably should lmao. If there’s anything I can tweak or improve on, I’m all ears! - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- Tagging the lovelies that asked for a part 2 (or that I thought might like a spoon follow-up): @littlesunshinesammy @caffelatteperfavore @ciarawriitesmarvel @redbullchick @galaxy-siren

#Spencer Reid #Spencer Reid FanFic #Spencer Reid Fanfiction #Spencer Reid imagine #Spencer Reid fluff #Spencer Reid x reader #Spencer Reid x you #Spencer Reid x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds imagines #criminal minds self insert #Spencer Reid self insert #lord that sounds dirty #ignore me #dr spencer reid #imagines #fluff #female reader #spencer reid x female reader

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