#something is immensely wrong and has BEEN wrong. she absolutely needs help

[belowablue]

Definitely Not Boyfriend Material - James Potter x Reader

Part 2/3. Everyone say thank you to lilians17 and taypop21 without which this never would have happened. I also split this up so it wasn't ridiculously long, so expect part 3 sometime!

part 1 part 3 <3

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It had been a week since your strange hookup with James Potter, but in that short amount of time your life had seriously deteriorated.  

When you told Lily that you’d slept with James she was firstly shocked that you’d actually gone thought with it and secondly somewhat superficial about the whole experience, which threw you off immensely. She didn’t ask half as many questions as you thought she would and mostly shut the topic down when you tried to bring it up. 

Majorly confused and slightly hurt that your best friend didn’t want to talk to you, you backed off completely. You two still spent a lot of time together, but you stuck to safe conversation topics like Flitwick’s latest essay or the Quidditch scores. You weren’t sure how you were going to talk about the gaping hole in your friendship but thankfully, she addressed it first. 

Cornering you in the library one afternoon she said your name softly, “Look I know I haven’t been the best friend lately.” 

Your brow furrowed, perplexed, but she carried on, “About James.”

You audibly gulped, preparing for a barrage of anger, but Lily quickly clarified, “I’m sorry I’ve let your, err, experience with him come between us I just-“ She sighed, ‘I just can’t understand why you did it.”

“I- what?” 

“Why! I mean, I thought we both hated him, I know after all he’s badgered me I do, so I thought that meant that you would too, but I guess not.”

She said all of that so quickly you had to think about it for a moment. 

“Lily,” You said slowly, “I told you that, if given the chance, I would shag him.” You stared at each other. “And you made no complaints then.” 

“I know,” She dragged a frustrated hand through her hair, “I just never thought you’d actually do it.”

You prickled. “So what, you don’t take anything I say seriously?” 

“No, no, no,” She said quickly, “Fuck no, of course I always take you seriously I just,” She paused again, clearly trying to articulate herself, “It was always something we'd joke about it. I didn’t think it would actually become real.” 

You stared at her, suddenly seeing everything from her point of view. One of her best friends spontaneously sleeps with the guy they’ve been making fun of for tormenting her for years. Yikes. When you put it like that…

“I don’t accept your apology Lily,” You said firmly. 

She gasped and her eyes filled with tears. She began to turn away but you grasped her arm to hold her firmly facing you. 

“I don’t accept it,” You continued, “Because I’m the one who should be apologising. You have done absolutely nothing wrong Lils, fuck I just went and shagged your own personal hell.”

The last line sounded slightly hysterical and Lily opened her mouth but you quickly continued, “I don’t know why I expected you to be okay with it all, fuck I'm so sorry Lily, Merlin please-.“

The look on her face made you pause. Though the tears were still in her eyes, she was smiling. 

You closed your mouth, afraid to shatter what you hoped you’d just fixed.

“It’s okay,” She said softly, “it’s alright.”

You shook your head vehemently. “It’s not alright Lily, I-”

Her expression made you stop again. “It is alright.” She gave a half-laugh, “Maybe it’ll get him off me.”

You cringed at that. 

“It’s not real,” You said firmly. “Sure James has proven he can be nice, but he’s still not demonstrated excellent boyfriend behaviour. He doesn’t help me with my homework or buy me flowers,” You said the next line quietly, somewhat ashamed to admit it to Lily but it was clearly something she needed to hear, “I think I’ve just become another notch in his belt. Another name added to the roster of girls he can call when he can’t be bothered to wank himself.”

Because it did hurt a little to say. After that morning you’d somewhat expected hand-written notes at breakfast or roses on your bedside table, but James had gone straight back to shouting his adoration for Lily from the Astronomy Tower.

You had to shake yourself quite hard to get over that dream. 

Lily sighed. “Well, he’s made us work on our communication anyhow.” 

You giggled and the tension between you two dissolved smoothly. 

She gathered up her things and you did too, feeling a thousand times lighter now you and Lily had talked this out. 

“Not even chocolates after he left those vicious bruises on your hips?” 

You let out a strangled laugh. “Not even then.”

She hummed, “Definitely not boyfriend material then.”

You nodded in agreement, wearily heading towards the exit. 

As you walked side by side, you thought 'fuck James Potter’ and then, even more angrily ‘fuck James Potter and his ability to cause arguments when he wasn’t even there. Fuck James Potter and his inability to grow up.’

Unbeknownst to you, James had caught the tail end of your conversation, having been loitering behind a bookcase once he realised Lily was there. 

Her words were bouncing around his head as he watched you go, ‘definitely not boyfriend material.’ 

Well then, he’d just have to work harder. 

——————————————————————————————————

After you and Lily made up you expected your life to go back to normal, minus the occasional Potter hookup. Merlin you could not have been anymore delusional if you’d actually tried. 

It started slowly. 

Your scarf, that had been missing for weeks, was placed on your bed one evening when you got back from dinner. Your books were organised in alphabetical order. All your hairpins that had become scattered across Gryffindor tower were studiously found and collected in a pretty flowery dish. Your ink pots were always full. Your makeup brushes were cleaned on a weekly basis. Your broomstick was polished after particularly muddy practices. 

It didn’t register for a while that someone was doing these things for you. You had been putting it down to house elves or sheer luck. It wasn’t until Marlene was talking about how her latest boy toy always made sure her water bottle had a slice of lemon in it that something slotted into place in your brain. 

Someone had been doing this for you. 

Someone had bothered to watch you so carefully that they knew what inconveniences you faced in life and magically fixed them all for you in a matter of weeks. 

But the annoying thing was you didn’t have a clue who could be doing this. Was it a crush trying to quietly make themselves known? Was it one of your friends who had suddenly gotten the idea to start doing anonymous good deeds? Or was it actually just overly devoted house elves? 

You didn’t know. After many consultations Lily decided she didn’t know either. You’d both agreed to keep an eye out for anyone displaying suspicious behaviour, but either they were really sneaky or you were really unobservant because you got nothing. 

Still, in someways it was nice to think that someone was looking out for you. Someone cared about you enough to help you out, with such mundane tasks too. And to top it all off, they helped you anonymously. They weren’t looking for praise. They didn’t want your open gratitude. They just wanted to make sure you were okay. That thought gave you a fuzzy feeling somewhere near your stomach and you had to suppress a smile when you were in public. 

However, your fretting over a potential stalker was soon overshadowed by one overwhelming fact. 

——————————————————————————————————

“Shut the fuck up.”

Lily sat opposite you on your bed, eyes shining bright. 

“No fucking way.”

She only nodded again, smiling too wide to utter a response. 

“You have a girlfriend. An actual whole real-life living breathing girlfriend.”

She nodded again. You threw your arms around her. 

“Ohmygod this is so exciting! Have you gone on a date yet?” You gasped loudly, “Have you kissed yet? Oh my days when can I meet her?” 

Lily laughed, pushing you back by your shoulders to face her, “Her name in Daisy. She’s the Hufflepuff I mentioned a while back.” 

You both had to pause then because you were squealing too loudly. 

She continued, “Yes, we went to Hogsmeade the other weekend, no we haven’t kissed.” She paused before adding “Yet.” 

You laughed, so overjoyed for her. “This has to be the best thing that’s happened all year!”

‘Well’ you thought, ‘Not for James.’

——————————————————————————————————

It was late one evening when you came through the portrait hole to see James hunched on the sofa by the fire, a box wrapped in pink paper in front of him. 

You paused. He looked upset. Should you go talk to him? But what would you even say. It’s not like you had any decent conversation starters for you ex friends with benefits. 

James turned slightly at the sound of someone coming in. 

“Oh it’s you.” He said. Your heart skipped a beat. Had he been… expecting you? 

‘Duh’ you told yourself, ‘it’s your common room too, you’d have to come through at some point.’

You didn’t know what to say so you stayed still. He got up, picked up the box and made his way over to you. Your heartbeat grew louder with each step he took, until he was in front of you and all you could hear was blood rushing in your ears. 

Wordlessly, he handed you the box. 

You gently pulled the pink tissue paper off to reveal a box of expensive chocolates. 

You stopped breathing. No way. No fucking way. There was absolutely no way that James had been behind this. That he was the reason your life had been going so smoothly lately. Had he really been creeping into your dorm to sort things out? 

You felt a blush creeping up your cheeks. Oh my god he’s been in your dorm.

You quickly considered it. Had the thought you hadn’t dared to think actually come true? Did James Potter like you back? Oh he did. He must. That’s why he’s been helping you out, like a little helper elf or some shit. Your brain short-circuited, dizzy with excitement. James Potter liked you back! You hadn’t let yourself admit that you liked him in the first place, not when he so clearly felt nothing for you but now, now. Now you knew it was him who’d been acting like your boyfriend, making sure you had everything you wanted-

You looked at him, smiling. “James,” You said softly, reverently, “I-“

He looked up at you and your eyes met. Your smile faltered. He didn’t look anywhere near as excited as you. 

“Give those to Lily would you?” He said tiredly. Your heart dropped. “Or have them yourself I don’t really care.” 

He turned away, carding a hand through his hair. 

You were left standing there, mouth slightly open. “What?”

James laughed humourlessly. “Was gonna try ask her out again with those since she mentioned them, but I haven’t got a chance now that she bats for the other team.”

The words fell onto your ears and pierced your heart like bullets. Sure the news had gone round the castle but, ‘you thought that meant he would finally take an interest in you’ the voice in your head verbalised. 

Something about your reaction must have registered with James because confusion appeared on his face. You stared back, thinking. 

“You heard us?” You asked, “In the library?” 

James nodded. 

“Has it been you polishing my broomstick? Filling my ink pots?” You had to know.

“Yeah,” he said, still confused. “I thought you knew.”

You blanched. 

“I thought that if Lily heard from a source she trusted about how great of a boyfriend I can be she might warm up to me.”

Shakily, you clarified, “You did all those deeds, tasks, chores whatever for me, in order to show Lily how doting you are?”

He shrugged, “Was pointless anyway wasn’t it.” 

You couldn’t believe it.

Used. That was the only word to describe how you were feeling. James Potter had used you as a way to get at Lily. He had played with you like a chess piece, toying with your heart unknowingly as he made an effort to reach the girl he wanted. 

Something in his eyes cleared. "Wait,” he said slowly, “You didn’t think, you didn’t actually think I was going for you, did you?”

You could’ve died on the spot. Your heart was shattered into a thousand shards on the floor and James had just done a jig on the pieces.

Your silence was answer enough. He sighed irritably, “Listen,” he said your name, “You’re a real cute girl and all but-“

He had to duck quickly or risked receiving a black eye from the box of chocolates you launched at his head. 

“Fuck you James Potter,” you snarled at him, “Don’t you ever speak to me again.” 

You marched past him up to your dorm, willing the tears not to fall in front of him. He would not hurt you more than he already had. Fuck Lily was right, how could you have thought James would ever love anyone but her?

Behind you, James was staring at the staircase you where you had vanished. 

He’d never had that kind of reaction before. He’d expected more of a whining tantrum like the other girls gave when he ended things with them. Because it was always him doing the ending. He would’ve gladly still fucked you, and he was just about to tell you too when you forbade him from contacting you. But now, it sounded awfully like James Potter had been ended, which wasn’t the way things went at all.

The longer James stared, the more he realised he had a chase on his hands. And if there was one thing James Potter knew how to do, it was chase. 

AN: guys just know every time I see someone has interacted with my posts this is literally me on my phone, thank you all so much xxxx

[tomurakii]

I'm still a kipperlily apologist actually. Why are we starting the episode talking about how she's been in counselling since freshman year. Maybe after 3 years you should've counselled her better tf

[hershey-writes]

₊ ⊹ᯓ★ yandere jotaro headcanons ✮⋆｡°✩⋆˙

trigger warning for: isolation, stalking, delusions, violence (not to reader), and general yandere/horror themes. please take care of yourself and click off if any of this will trigger you.

a/n: this is general to all iterations of jotaro imo, but i had post-part 3, pre-part 4 jotaro in mind. enjoy!

Jotaro sees you as someone he needs to protect first and foremost. This man is so overprotective that it's actually ridiculous.

Going outside? He’s coming with you. Classes? Wow, you guys suddenly have the same schedule! Visiting family? All your relatives love him, even if he’s a bit quiet and brooding.

You are NEVER alone with this man– never ever. That's one trait he absolutely shares with Holly.

And when he’s with you, he’s oddly silent. Simply..observing, like a shadow. 

He doesn’t try to intrude or converse with you unless you start talking to him first. He’s content with being simply beside you– even if you don’t know it.

Which reminds me, he’s a stalker. For a 196cm hulking ton of muscle, he’s surprisingly sneaky if he needs to be. Not to mention Star Platinum, although he tries to keep Star to a minimum. 

Mostly because Star Platinum is incredibly lovey-dovey. Playing with your hair, invisible kisses and hugs, the whole shebang. 

And the stand is more than willing to kill any rivals for your affections, unlike Jotaro.

He'd never hurt you. Plain and simple. He's fine with threatening you, if he absolutely must without any other option, but even the thought of you in pain brings chills down his spine. He lives to be your protector, your guardian. Hurting you is betraying his goal.

Jotaro refuses to leave you for one reason: he's seen the absolute worst of the world. Beneath that stoic facade is someone who’s endured trauma beyond imagination. And even though he claims otherwise, it's definitely affected him.

He doesn’t care if you’re a capable or exceptionally strong stand user. He needs to be able to protect you at all times. He can’t lose you like he’s lost so many people he loved.

But there’s also a level of selfishness and hypocrisy to him. After all, he’s the one bringing danger to you. Stand users are attracted to stand users– and just by his presence, he’s probably putting you at immense risk.

He can’t leave you, though. He's aware it’s hypocritical, but he doesn’t care. 

And his protection, too, is hypocritical. 

He rationalises beating the shit out of that store assistant who helped you get something by saying that it's to protect you. But deep down, he knows that it isn't true. 

He rationalises isolating you by saying he isn’t really isolating you. You have his family, his friends, and him. What more do you need?

This is another facet of Jotaro: his delusions. 

Jotaro sees the world in black and white. There are good guys and bad guys. There are people out to get you, and you and him. There are his friends and his enemies. There’s no grey area, no wiggle room, no third option.

He can’t really see himself as a bad guy, even though he knows what he’s doing is wrong. He has to justify it. If he’s the bad guy, then…

So he continues on with his delusions unchallenged. Holly is his number one enabler, so he has no reason to believe otherwise.

On the topic of Holly, you get two yanderes for the price of one. Holly absolutely babies you to oblivion and treats you like a jewel. 

You’re the first person her son has genuinely connected with since he returned from Egypt. For so long, she thought he was gone, that a part of him had been shattered during those 50 days. But you’re here, and for the first time, she sees the light in his eyes shine like they used to when he was a child.

Somehow, she’s even more delusional than her son. Begging for help? She interprets it as you asking for love advice, and chuckles as she recounts how she met her husband. Crying after Jotaro left one of your friends in a coma? You’re obviously worried about his safety! You’d make such a great child-in-law, she just knows it!

The fact of the matter, in the end, is that your life would go into shambles the minute he develops an interest in you. You’d be alone, with him and his mother and what few friends he allows you to see. You can’t risk seeing anyone without his temper flaring. 

But please, he’s doing this for you. Just believe him, won't you?

[inamindfarfaraway]

That issue of Batgirl (2000) where Cass goes to immense trouble to rescue a death row inmate who killed an innocent woman, breaking into prison, fighting the guards, shattering the wall of the execution chamber and taking him outside, because her core principle is that nobody dies if she can help it. No matter what they’ve done. It’s been established that she has a crippling guilt complex about taking a life. To her, her being an abused child who had no way of knowing it was wrong and didn’t even understand the concept of death at the time is as irrelevant as her victim being a crime lord. She is a Murderer. She turned a person full of thought and feeling into nothing. That’s her ultimate definition of wrong. So she needs to save this Murderer and give him the second chance she’s been given; she needs him to deserve it. She needs him to be more than his worst action. The man does appear to be repentant and mean no further harm.

But then the mother of the victim tells her that he deserves to become nothing. No matter how much he’s changed. He destroyed her little girl. And after all the effort she put in, despite her intense emotional investment and absolute reverence of life, Cass lets him die when she doesn’t have to. Something nothing else could ever make her do. Because she is a Murderer… but she was also a Destroyed Little Girl.

[everestgale]

what if. what if I ask about Paranoid. huh what then-

(take your time lol)

Well, good thing you told me to take my time because it took me a while to formulate all of my thoughts on this guy. Damn you Paranoid- /lh

[Send Me a Character and I'll List Ask Game]

Warning: I have some strong opinions on Paranoid, and as a result, I'm worried that it might sound like I'm attacking people or bashing people's opinions/headcanons. So I need to preface this: I am NOT bashing anyone for having different opinions and headcanons from mine. And I am NOT saying that my opinions/headcanons are right/better and other people's are wrong/worse. This is nothing but me sharing my opinions, that's all :]

favorite thing about them

It is insanely refreshing and comforting to see a fictional character with anxiety symptoms, who copes through hyper-competence and vigilance.

Most portrayals of anxiety and anxiety-like symptoms tend to lean towards shy, socially awkward, quiet, and avoidant characters. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! I'm just saying this to explain why having Paranoid, a character with, well, paranoia, be demanding, argumentative, and competent, is so refreshing and, honestly, validating, in a weird way. His response to the horrors, to his own distrust and anxiety, is to laser focus on a solution/an action that he can take to make it all stop… and there is something very relatable in his persistence, in him trying so desperately to claw his way out of this self-imposed, distrust- and fear-filled prison, sometimes to the point of insanity.

And it's very much a self-imposed prison. His distrust, anxiety, and fear are what twist Nightmare into the lonely monster she is, power of perception and all. He is quite literally the source of his own problems, which he then tries so desperately to solve… all of which are immensely relatable. He is a very flawed character with a very skewed perspective… but he isn't a helpless cowering little thing, he is a coward, sure, but he frantically fights back despite it.

I don't even know if this makes sense anymore. But also yes, I project like all hell onto Paranoid. No, I am not sorry about it.

[Yeah, this is also getting long. More under the cut.]

least favorite thing about them

Paranoid, I love you, I would never say no to more Paranoid… but I have to be honest, he stole Skeptic's rightful spot in HEA.

HEA with Skeptic would've been such a nice exploration of his character, especially with how underutilized he still is, even after the Pristine Cut. And realistically, Paranoid didn't need another Chapter appearance, especially since, if I remember correctly, he was the voice with one of the highest number of Chapter appearances, he got an extended role in Apo, and he got an appearance in the Cage. My Paranoid-loving heart is screaming for saying that, but Deconstructed -> HEA should've been Skeptic.

favorite line

"The whispering and the coercion and the bickering — everything horrible about being alive has stopped. I could get used to this."

"Oh that's right! Yeah, fuck this guy. Don't trust him."

"Of course I'm not okay! I've never been okay. But maybe I needed to never be okay for us to make this happen."

"Who deserves something like this? She wants her freedom at the expense of ours, and she's willing to destroy us over and over again if it helps her. What kind of god does that? Stop deluding yourself. If we're going to make this work, all of us need to see the truth!"

…and of course, the classic "Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves."

brOTP

I am obsessed with platonic ParaBroken, especially with the new Apotheosis re-write. Seeing Paranoid absolutely lose his mind as you defy Apotheosis, seeing both him and Hero encourage Broken to see beyond his devotion to Apotheosis... I remember genuinely clapping my hands after picking [Still your doubts.] and hearing Broken go:

"But it's not enough to stop us, is it? We're going to make it to her."

They did it! My boys did it! They helped Broken to see beyond Apotheosis, beyond his perfect goddess... and believe in something other than her. Even better, to believe in them, to believe in him.

And this exchange too:

"That's what should happen. Why isn't it happening? Did we do something wrong? Were all these powerful, heroic thoughts not enough?" "I believe! I believe in us! Isn't that enough?" "Unless we got the rules wrong... I'm sorry. I think I messed this up."

The way these lines are said... Broken's genuine confidence and Paranoid's panic turned into guilt... UGH, I love how their relationship develops throughout this route.

Not quite as rooted in canon (more so inspired by the dynamic written by one of the Discord mutuals), but I also like to imagine that in the post-ending (where they would recover all of their in-game routes as memories), Broken remembers and appreciates Paranoid's persistence during the Apotheosis... and so in turn, he helps the anxious voice with his panic in whatever ways he can. I love my platonic ParaBroken HC <3

Honorable mention goes to ParaCheated, with Cheated being a near-permanent resident of Paranoid Medical Center™, and Paranoid trying his best to patch Cheated up when he falls apart... they hate how often they have to see each other there, but besides that, they have a pretty good friendship :]

OTP

...it's ParaHero [2]. I already talked about it for a while in Hero's character ask. If you wanna know why I like ParaHero so much, check it there :]

...actually, I feel like I didn't do ParaHero justice in my Hero post. It's just so hard for me to explain my thoughts on why I like this ship so much. Just the way they interact during the Nightmare route, with all their bickering and back-and-forth, especially the "I thought you needed me to run the autonomic nervous system" conversation. Despite Paranoid's clear annoyance (and Hero's awful chant), he still gently (but still with his signature snark) guides Hero on how to do it properly. And throughout the route, when Paranoid kept losing control of the autonomic nervous system (either because he kept trying to comment, or because of Nightmare), Hero was there to guide him back, to keep them all alive. Like I mentioned in the Hero post, there's a certain degree of comfort between them that really appeals to me, and I can't quite explain it. It feels like they are protecting and helping each other. It feels like there is trust and respect between them. It just feels like they would get along well.

And during the Apotheosis! How both of them (more so Paranoid than Hero, but still) are trying to convince Broken to join them, how they eventually all do join together for "One. Last. Try"... how in the old Apotheosis dialogue, Paranoid's curious "I'm interested" sort of calms clearly pissed-off Hero... and how in the new dialogue, Hero gently asks Paranoid if he's okay... These BIRDS, UGH-

...the goal of this was to elaborate on my ParaHero thoughts, but instead, I feel like I'm talking in circles. I don't know if anything I said makes sense! Grr! Why are words so hard /lh

nOTP

This is probably one of my only actual nOTPs... it's ParaCold. And the more I think about it, the more I realize that it's mainly for personal reasons </3

And to be clear, this is specifically for ParaCold as a romantic/semi-romantic ship. ParaCold in general is a very interesting dynamic, and I love exploring it, so long as it's not romantic <3

random headcanon

Oh! My Paranoid is the only voice that doesn't have eyes with irises, and instead, he has "glassy eyes full of static" (as a nod to all of the crackly static noises in the Nightmare route. I sort of talked about how his eyes "break" in this post :]). And because of that, I HC that he kind of has a bad vision, loosely inspired by the visual snow syndrome. It just makes sense in my brain that Mr. "More eyes, too. You never mention the eyes" would be the one with noisy vision.

unpopular opinion

I am not a big fan of fem!Paranoid headcanon. It personally just makes me a tad uncomfortable to write my Paranoid as fem, given the fact that he is the most anxious voice, who has a tendency to lose his mind and act what's commonly described as "hysterical", all qualities that are often stereotyped and associated with women and femininity. Plus, I really like Paranoid's representation as a guy with anxiety/paranoia, so writing him as fem feels doubly awkward.

It's a popular community HC, so I feel I should clarify again: this is just me trying to explain why I don't feel comfortable with writing my Paranoid as fem. I am NOT trying to accuse anyone with fem!Para HC of misogyny or anything like that. If you write and HC Paranoid as fem, I respect and support you! This is just my thoughts and opinions <3

…plus, as I already mentioned, I project onto Paranoid a lot. And as a transmasc/genderfluid/not sure nonbinary person, I identify with masc!Paranoid a lot more than fem!Paranoid <3

song i associate with them

I genuinely don't remember how I found this song, but it fits Paranoid really well: "something wrong" by NomnomNami

"those eyes, they continue to spread on the walls on the ground and i don’t think that any place that’s safe is left"

"i know i wasn’t wrong! how can this be my fault? my blood is spilling out your eyes are full of doubt…"

favorite picture of them

Of the art that I made (because canonically disembodied voice and all), this is probably my favorite:

...yeah, it's ParaHero angst. I just like how I drew Paranoid here <3

[andro-dino]

Tired and sick, may I get some Once upon a withlight headcanons to ease my weary soul?

aaa hope you feel better soon snuggles 🫶

this is one I actually have to put a little brain power into bc I actually haven’t thought super hard about this

- I think kremy and Gideon never verbally apologize to each other after a fight, both of them are way too prideful and awkward for that. Kremy I think would take it like a mom who cuts up fruit for you instead of apologizing. He doesn’t explicitly acknowledge that anything happened or is wrong but Gideon will be moping in the corner and kremy will be like “I made dinner, are you gonna come eat with me or what?” and instantly all is resolved. On Gideon’s part, I think it’s a combo of big sad puppy eyes and acts of service, just constantly going out of his way to do things for kremy to try to make up for it. I think gid does that a lot just anyways but he goes especially hard on it when he’s trying to apologize after a fight

- also coalecroux focused, these guys are so weird about physical affection. it’s either they are extremely awkward and strange about it or they are literally inside each others skin, no in between. Like I think with these two having been together for as long as they have, they have very naturally gotten super used to constantly hanging on to each other and having their arms wrapped around each other like second nature, neither of them even really realize they do it, but the SECOND anyone comments on it or causes them to think about it for even a second, they are instantly ten feet apart from each other and all awkward and sputtery about it. freaks, I hate them (affectionate)

- Frost is the kind of person who will appear to be completely doing his own thing and not paying attention at all when other people are talking but he is actually extremely engaged in the conversation, he just doesn’t feel the need to hold eye contact or stop doing what he’s doing (which is probably like reading a book or something similar which would appear to hold all his attention). Gricko is the most used to this and entirely unfazed by it but it takes most others a little while to understand it

- Gideon and Twig scheme about pranks to pull on frost together. Either that or just ganging up to make fun of him (affectionate) in general

- Twig tries to help show torbek how to clean and take care of his fur a little more. He’s not particularly good at it on his own but he’s trying and he appreciates it immensely

- frost. Kitty tendencies. he tries like really really hard not to show most of his cat qualities very often bc he does not want to draw attention to them but he has found himself making biscuits around people without realizing more than once

- Hootsie with each of the different krew members I think are all very fun dynamics. Frost is father #2 to her and will usually be the one taking care of her if gricko cannot as he is generally the most responsible and capable when it comes to taking care of her, though he will definitely sneak her more rat snacks than she’s supposed to have. Kremy is like the rich gay aunt who will absolutely spoil her rotten if given the opportunity. He never means to but he can never resist doing so. He will go full Karen mode to give her the world. I imagine hootsie in Gideon’s care like one of those movies where the plot revolves around a babysitter and the kid their watching going on a big wacky adventure and needing to get home before the parents do, and no matter zany the hijinks, they will always get back home and act like absolutely nothing happened when the parents do get home. He is one of hootsie’s favorite to play and cuddle with but he should probably not be solely responsible for her for extended periods of time. Torbek and hootsie are like bffs and also are great cuddle buddies but similarly he should never be left solely responsible for her it would not go well.

[tumbleweed-palmer]

Fic request! Reader x Palmer. Reader is relatively sexually inexperienced compared to Jimmy, who has been married and has a daughter. Reader's first and only experience was awful, and it's been years since that experience. Jimmy and Reader work together? xx

Overcoming Fear: Jimmy Palmer X Reader

smut obviously very filthy smut at that, tw: mentions of sexual assault, anxiety, loss of spouse.

There was no real guideline for dating as a widower. Jimmy had learned this lesson quickly. Sure, there were probably dozens upon dozens of books written about the subject of mourning and some of these books were focused on the demographic of widows and widowers, but there was no surefire guide to what dating could and should be after loss.

To be honest, Jimmy hadn’t imagined he’d find love again, not after the loss he’d endured. Loving another person in that way again had just felt so wrong.  He’d told himself that his heart was incapable of such a thing. He’d felt that it would be betrayal of the vows he’d made to his late wife. He’d convinced himself that he’d only been lucky enough to have one great love in his life, and he should consider himself lucky to have loved at all. He told himself that he’d lost his great love and that was the end of the story for him. 

He’d thrown all his focus on his work and his daughter at times neglecting his own wellbeing until he’d been convinced to start therapy.

Therapy had helped a little of course. It had at least given him a safe space to express his grief. 

Still though the concept of giving love another shot had seemed so impossible and had filled him with such shame. 

When Y/N had entered his life he’d felt an immense sense of guilt. She’d been hired on as Kasie’s much needed assistant in the lab and she’d managed to fit in well. 

She was a great girl; sweet, intelligent, a diligent worker, funny, professional without being an absolute stick in the mud, and something that Jimmy had noticed rather quickly; beautiful. 

Jimmy hadn’t been prepared for Y/N. The very first impression he’d had of her was that she was an attractive woman…the impression had left him filled with an overwhelming sense of shame. He’d mentally reprimanded himself, constantly questioning how he could have the audacity to find any woman other than his late wife attractive?

He couldn’t stop himself from making the observation. He found her stunning and he hated himself for it. 

He’d made his best attempt to avoid Y/N, as rude as it had felt. He’d of course not been cruel, he’d just done all he could to remain distant. He’d kept her at an arms length ignoring the exchanged looks of worry from his coworkers. He’d brushed off concerns about his unusually standoffish behavior. 

He’d been polite to Y/N but he’d never allowed her the same closeness he gave his other colleagues. 

An offhand remark by Y/N during a case had changed that distance. 

The case had been complicated; a dead petty officer who had possible ties to a terrorist group. The dead woman on Jimmy’s autopsy table seemed to be haunted by personal demons which may have contributed to her death. The biggest issue was the woman’s actions prior to her death. It had become obvious as the case had proceeded that the deceased woman laying out Jimmy’s table had secrets that might have a detrimental deadly impact on the living.

The case had called for a psychological autopsy of sorts. All hands on deck had been called in. Even Dr. Mallard had assisted via video conference.

Kasie and Y/N had assisted Jimmy and Dr. Mallard shuffling through the dead petty officer’s past and any clues she might have left behind that could help stop a possible terror attack on a navy shipyard.

The dead petty officer had experienced an immense amount of loss in her life including a mother who had died quite suddenly when she was a child.

Y/N had made one little comment upon this discovery. “I lost my mother when I was seven…right before my eighth birthday…it’s a rough age to lose your mom…especially for a girl…not that it excuses anything Officer Meyer did…I’m just saying, I can see how that might have impacted her childhood. Loss is hard enough on its own, being a kid makes it worse.”

The comment had caught Jimmy’s attention. His only thoughts had been of his own daughter. Victoria had only been seven when Breena had passed so suddenly. Jimmy couldn’t lie, Victoria had been struggling.

Victoria tried to put on a brave face for Jimmy and in turn Jimmy had done his best to put on a brave face for her. It felt as though they were both going through the motions though neither sure how to address the loss in their lives. 

He’d tried to address it of course. He’d done everything his therapist had suggested to address the loss with his daughter. He knew deep down the biggest issue of course was that he’d put his focus on Victoria’s feelings not being open about his own with her. 

It had resulted in an unspoken sadness between them that neither had the words to express. 

Jimmy couldn’t help himself, once the case had wrapped up he’d gone to Kasie’s lab, found Y/N and promptly spilled his guts and his trauma onto her.

He’d apologized of course,  but Y/N had been nothing but reassuring and kind.

She’d offered an ear to listen, an insight from her own experience of losing her mother, and a needed friendship and confidant.

Y/N and he had become surprisingly close. Jimmy hadn’t been expecting for Y/N to grow close to him but to his daughter as well.

Y/N’s niece had come to visit for a month during the summer. This niece was close to Victoria’s age and a playdate of sorts had been set up for the two girls.

Jimmy had thought it might be good for Victoria, having someone close to her age to spend time with. He’d thought it might be a way to experience some normalcy for Victoria. 

Neither Jimmy nor Y/N had been expecting for Victoria to bond with Y/N. It had seemed as though the girl had taken to Jimmy’s coworker turned friend. 

He guessed it made sense. Y/N was all the things a little girl might like; soft, gentle, and lovely. She wore pretty dresses and painted her nails with glitter polish. She wore sweet smelling perfume. She was feminine and cute and his daughter had been enamored.

After Y/N’s niece had gone home, the invitations for Y/N to spend time with both Jimmy and Victoria had continued. Victoria was often the one requesting that Y/N join Jimmy and her for pizza or a movie or a board game night. 

Jimmy had told himself it was a positive thing; Victoria having another adult in her life to open up to. 

Y/N and she shared a bond of sorts he’d told himself; both losing their mothers at the same age. He’d told himself that Y/N might understand Victoria in a way he sadly could not. 

Jimmy had been appreciative of Y/N’s willingness to accept Victoria’s requests for time spent together. He’d realized it was a good thing for his daughter; having a female in her life she could look up to outside of his mom. She could use a good role model, he’d realized. There were just some things Jimmy knew Victoria might not feel entirely comfortable going to Jimmy for even outside of her feelings regarding her late mother. Jimmy knew Eunice Palmer wasn’t getting any younger and Jimmy figured that his daughter appreciated having a woman much younger and more with the times to turn to as she grew older and encountered difficulties in peer relationships and fitting in with her peers. 

Y/N didn’t seem to mind time spent with the Palmers. She seemed just as appreciative as Jimmy was for the closeness.

She’d admitted it was nice to do something social given her life seemed to revolve around her work and she had a tendency to be a homebody as it was. 

With all this time spent together Jimmy’s and Y/N’s bond had grown far beyond just being a confidant for Jimmy and a positive role model for his daughter.

He’d felt a certain sense of attachment to her. She’d become someone he wanted to go to when he had good news. She’d become someone he missed when she wasn’t around. 

He’d told himself that she was just a good friend. She was someone who he felt he could turn to. She was someone he trusted. They were just dear friends and nothing more. 

Jimmy could distinctly remember the sentence that had changed everything. “I have to do a rain check on game night this Saturday. I have a date.”

The words from Y/N’s lips had felt like a punch to the gut.

He’d tried to tell himself even as he broke the bad news to Victoria that he was just worried that with a possible boyfriend Y/N might begin to dramatically change the dynamic she’d built with Jimmy and Victoria.

After all, he couldn’t possibly expect Y/N to spend so much time with Victoria and he if she had a romantic relationship to focus on. Would a boyfriend be willing to go along with Y/N’s place in the Palmer’s life?

He’d told himself that the gross feeling in his gut and the twist in his heart was just over worries that Victoria might take Y/N having her attention focused elsewhere badly. He’d told himself it was his own fault, letting Victoria cling to Y/N knowing that there was a chance that Y/N would move along with her own life and develop bonds outside of Victoria and Jimmy. He should have realized it wasn’t fair to expect Y/N’s life to revolve around his family. 

He had told himself he’d been selfish; clinging to Y/N so hard. He’d told himself he’d turned her into an emotional support security blanket of sorts. He’d leaned too hard on her without considering she might not always be there. 

When Jimmy had broken the bad news to Victoria over a family dinner with his mother, he’d not expected Eunice Palmer to make him wake up and see the true reality of it all.

He could still remember that conversation as he stood at his mother’s side after dinner doing dishes after Victoria had gone upstairs to finish her homework.

The words his mother had said had taken him by shock “You know you’re allowed to love her, honey.”

He’d played dumb of course. “What do you mean?”

Eunice Palmer had given him an all too knowing look as she’d explained herself. “Y/N.”

He’d shifted in place awkwardly, suddenly finding the pattern along the rim of the serving dish he was holding something deserving of his focus. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s not like that mom. Y/N is just a friend. She’s just gotten close with Victoria and me…she’s really been there for us both.  I’m just worried about Victoria. She’s become attached to Y/N and I let it happen. I didn’t consider that it can’t always be like this. Y/N has been way too kind. I know she understands Victoria because she’s been in Victoria’s shoes…losing a mom and all. I know it’s not fair to expect Y/N to not have a life outside of my family. Y/N dating some guy is probably going to change things and I should accept that and find a way to explain it to Victoria. I can’t imagine the guy is going to be fine with his girlfriend spending so much time with her coworker and his kid. I’m just worried how Victoria is going to take the change. I know Y/N can’t always be there for Victoria and me for the rest of her life. She needs her own life outside of us. I know this is a good change, it’s just going to be an adjustment for Victoria.”

“That’s not the entire story of what’s bothering you though. I’m not blind James.” Eunice replied, making Jimmy’s stomach churn.

She spoke again before Jimmy had a chance to deny it. “Victoria isn’t the only one who’s become attached.”

“I have leaned on Y/N a lot. I’ve probably clung too hard to be honest. She’s way too kind to tell me I’ve been so needy…I am perfectly fine with her finding someone. She’s probably missed out on a lot of dates with great guys spending all her free time with my family. It’s..it’s for the best. She deserves it. She can’t spend her entire life being my emotional support. It’s not healthy for either one of us. She’s been a good friend, and she should find love.” Jimmy had insisted he turning the serving dish in his hands pretending he was inspecting it to make sure it was completely clean. 

His mother was fast to speak up, that knowing tone still evident in her voice. “There’s more than friendship there James, even a close friendship. I know you deny it, but I know better. I know you.”

Jimmy cleared his throat averting his eyes from his mother’s gaze, the words stubborn on his lips. “It’s not like that at all. I don’t…I don’t love her, not like that. I love her as a friend, nothing more. I can’t be in love with her.”

Eunice dried her soapy hands placing them on her son’s upper arms giving him a reassuring squeeze. “That isn’t true. You can be in love with her. It’s not wrong and you shouldn’t let yourself feel guilty for it.”

“I do though. I feel so conflicted. I catch myself feeling so happy when she’s around. Then I find myself missing and longing for her when she’s not here. She’s always on my mind or at least on the back of my mind. Anytime something positive happens I want to tell her first. When I’ve had an awful day I want to hear her voice. I’m even happy to sit in complete silence with her just because it’s her. Then I feel guilty because there’s only one woman I should long for and she’s no longer here. I made vows and I feel like I’m breaking them. I know Breena and I said until death do us part. I don’t wear my ring anymore…I know…I know those vows ended at death ... ..rationally I know I’m a human being and I’m capable of love even after loss, but I feel so conflicted about feeling love for someone else when I thought I’d found the love of my life. It feels like I’m doing something wrong.” Jimmy admitted the words tumbling out of him, forcing his gaze to meet his mother’s. 

Eunice held him against her, she fast to respond. “That’s the beautiful thing about hearts honey, they are capable of endless love.  Loving Y/N doesn’t mean you loved Breena any less. Love isn’t a competition. Love isn’t that selfish that it can only go to one person and end forever when that person is no longer here. I’d like to believe that we can have more than one great love in our lives. I don’t think that any higher power is cruel enough to make our hearts so they can only love one person and one person only. Love is endless. It doesn’t go away when someone is gone and it doesn’t fail to exist when someone enters your life”.

She pulled back from Jimmy speaking again repeating the statement that had begun this entire conversation. “You are allowed to love Y/N. The heart wants what it wants…and I see the way she looks at you when she thinks you aren’t looking. I think she’s just as afraid as you are. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s just as torn up about how she feels as you are about how you feel.”

She spoke again giving his arms a reassuring squeeze. “You need to ask yourself a serious question, sweetheart. You have to make a big choice. Do you admit how you feel and take a chance even if it’s scary and intimidating or do you let Y/N go and accept that things are going to change? The choice is yours, but whatever you do don’t let yourself make a choice out of shame or fear. You have to ask your heart what it wants and let it have it.”

The words had left Jimmy’s lips as he made his choice, his heart finally telling his shame to shove it. “I…can you watch Victoria. I have to go…I need to go. I’m not sure when I’ll be home.”

It was a huge cliche really. It had been pouring rain that night as he’d made his way to Y/N’s apartment and he’d managed to become a soaked mess by the time he’d made it to her front door.

The words had left him and everything had changed. “Please don’t go on that date. I am begging you to cancel it. Please, I should be the only one taking you on any dates. I love you. It scares the hell out of me…loving someone again, but I’d rather be afraid than deny how I feel.”

His confession of love hadn’t been smooth at all, but much to his shock and relief Y/N had stared up at him with tears in her eyes as she’d spoken “I love you too.”

His lips had met hers for the first time with that confession and they’d not looked back.

They’d had a serious talk that night after the kiss of course and there had been several serious talks after that night.

Figuring out the change in their relationship had been anxiety inducing at best. They’d been afraid Victoria might not take the change of Y/N being Daddy’s friend to Daddy’s girlfriend well, but much to their relief she’d been agreeable to the change. 

Jimmy knew Y/N had played a big part in making Victoria comfortable with the change. She’d worked hard to reassure the girl that her place in their lives wasn’t an attempt to replace Victoria’s mother. She’d reassured Victoria that just because Breena was gone that didn’t mean the love she’d felt for Victoria went away. Jimmy had reassured his daughter that his loving Y/N didn’t devalue or erase the love he’d felt for Breena. Moving forward didn’t mean you erased the past. 

Y/N had encouraged Jimmy to be open with Victoria about her mother. She’d encouraged him to have those talks and reminded him it was okay for Victoria to see him cry. When he’d been ready to begin packing away Breena’s things for Victoria, Y/N had helped him find ways to store the items and to involve Victoria in the process. 

Y/N had been a supportive reassuring partner as Jimmy navigated moving forward. 

She’d proven to be just as supportive to Victoria. They’d become even closer to the point that Victoria had spent some of her allowance buying one of those BFF heart necklaces for Y/N and she.

Y/N was the one who was happy to tackle whatever complicated hair tutorial Victoria had found on Youtube. She was the one who took Victoria to get manicures and eat brunch. They often had girl days. 

Seeing Y/N with his daughter had just made Jimmy love her all the more. 

It hadn’t been easy navigating love as a widower, but Jimmy had found that Y/N was patient and soothing. She wasn’t afraid to push him when he needed to move past his comfort zone or to hold his hand when he needed to be grounded and brought back down to a sense of comfort. He’d realized his mother was right; love was not selfish at all.

Love still felt terrifying of course, as beautiful and warm as it was. He still felt anxious about it all. It was still intimidating at times.

Tonight felt particularly intimidating. 

When Kasie had won a trip to Vegas Jimmy and Y/N had no qualms about accepting the invitation to come along, after they’d found a reliable babysitter for Victoria of course.

Of course the trip was given to Kasie with the promise that she’d spend plenty of time in the casino. Kasie as it turns out was a high roller in Vegas and the casino hotel they were staying at wanted her to gamble.

The hotel room Jimmy and Y/N had wound up with was far less lavish than Kasie’s but Kasie’s had been given to her with the promise of casino time and Jimmy’s and Y/N’s room had come out of their own budget. 

Jimmy and Y/N weren’t gamblers. So, that meant they’d been left to their own devices while Kasie spent time at the blackjack table.

So far they’d done a lot of sightseeing and eating. They’d even drank a little and played a couple of slot machines. Jimmy and Y/N had just been enjoying some one on one time together free of distractions that were involved in their everyday lives.

They’d been enjoying a grown-up vacation.

There was a certain sense of anxiety hanging in the air though over what they’d decided was going to happen on this grown-up vacation.

Jimmy knew they’d been working their way up to this but that didn’t make it any less intimidating.

As they rode the elevator up to their hotel room he was almost certain his heart was beating so loud that it had become audible.

When his beautiful sweet girlfriend had confessed her limited sexual experience to Jimmy he’d been dumbfounded.

That sense of shock had morphed into anger when she’d described her one and only sexual experience and exactly why it had turned her off of going that far with any guy ever again.

She’d described her first and only experience as being awful. She described an experience that was far too rough with a partner that hadn’t taken her pleasure nor her comfort into consideration at all. Her last sexual partner had been far too aggressive and more concerned with getting himself off than making it feel good for her. He had cared little for her lack of experience or her boundaries. She’d described the entire experience as being overwhelming in the worst way possible and anxiety inducing. She’d described a man who had seemed to manhandle and mistreat her more than make love to her. She’d described unbearable pain during the experience and a sense of feeling violated and empty when it was all said and done. 

Jimmy had felt his stomach turn at her descriptions of not being wet enough, bleeding, and her feeling overstimulated and unloved. He’d felt his heart twist when she’d admitted that though it had been years, the concept of sex still scared her. 

Jimmy Palmer wasn’t a violent man, but hearing all those details had left him feeling certain that if he was ever left alone in a room with his girlfriend’s former sexual partner then Jimmy would be sure the other man left in a body bag.

Jimmy had done everything in his power to reassure her that he was fine waiting as long as she needed him to before taking their relationship in that direction. He had worked hard to promise her that he was a grown man who was capable of moving at her pace. He had promised her that he was mature enough not to feel disappointed or as though he was missing out on anything if sex was something they waited for. He had done his best to show her other ways they could feel intimate with one another without going with more traditional means in the bedroom.

So, they’d made out a lot, more than a lot. They’d moved at her pace and Jimmy had eagerly taken what she was willing to give him. They’d spent a lot of time kissing, grinding against one another, and giving lingering touches over one another’s clothing. They’d never proceeded further than that though. 

When they had decided to take this adult-only vacation Y/N had said the words that had made Jimmy’s heart feel as though it was stopping and racing all at once. “When we’re in Vegas, I was thinking we could go further than we’ve been going…as in all the way. I think I’m ready…I want to at least try.”

Tonight was the night they’d agreed to try and Jimmy was filled with a cocktail of emotions and anxieties.

He prayed his hands weren’t sweating as held her hand in his, allowing her to lead them out of the elevator and to their hotel room.

He tried to focus on his breathing as he fished the key card out of his pocket, his hand shaking as he moved to open the door.

She pressed a kiss to his cheek, their faces both flushed pink from more than the dry heat outside. “I’m going to go get ready. I won’t be too long.”

He nodded his head, certain that his heart was racing so quickly it might zoom out of his chest and take off across the room. He managed to speak hoping he sounded more confident than he felt. “I’ll get things ready out here. Take your time.”

Jimmy studied the room as Y/N disappeared behind the closed bathroom door. He debated taking the extra step and ordering champagne through room service but he knew they’d had some overwhelmingly sweet fruity cold cocktails hours ago and he knew they were both lightweights. The cocktails had been enough to ease some of the anxiety but Jimmy didn’t want to risk either of them becoming impaired.

He rubbed the back of his neck, his stomach in knots as he moved around the room, straightening up some of the clutter that had accumulated over the past two days they’d spent on this vacation thus far. 

He shuffled through the plastic shopping bag they’d acquired earlier, his cheeks flushing as much as they had when the purchase had been made as he fished out the tube of lubricant they’d bought just in case.

He took a deep breath second guessing the choice to not buy condoms. She was on the pill and they’d agreed they were comfortable moving forward with that being their only form of birth control.

The idea of moving forward with that little protection filled Jimmy with an equal sense of excitement and anxiety.

The entire concept of what was due to happen tonight actually filled Jimmy with a mix of lust, excitement, anxiety, and fear.

This was a huge step not only for Y/N but for him as well.

She was trusting him to move past her fear and experience this with him. 

It was a huge responsibility. Jimmy could admit he had his own fears about tonight.

This was the first time he’d be intimate with someone new in over a decade. He knew he wasn’t inexperienced but he felt clumsy and daft.

He feared disappointing or underwhelming Y/N. He was terrified of triggering some bad memory or just flat out being a lackluster defective lover. What if he made this experience awful for an entirely different reason than her only past experience? 

Being with a new partner was intimidating enough, then add on a bad past experience on her part and his experience being tied to one partner for over a decade and it felt incredibly terrifying and nerve wracking.

Jimmy wasn’t even sure he’d been this anxious his very first time.

He took another deep breath, shakily kicking his shoes and socks off a voice in the back of his head reminding him that there was nothing dorkier and less seductive and being nude except for a pair of socks.

He chose not to strip down completely, deciding to just ditch the cargo shorts he’d bought especially for the desert heat.

He found himself left in boxers and his t-shirt he making his way over to the bed.

He debated getting under the covers but decided to hold off on it, choosing insead to pull back the bedsheets making sure they had easier access.

He made sure the bottle of lube was accessible on the bedside table he dimming the lights by the bed making the room less bright and hopefully making the atmosphere in the room less intimidating.

He sat on the edge of the bed trying to calm his racing heart as he mentally prepared himself for this.

He was silently debating the best way to perhaps prolong his stamina, a voice in the back of his head telling him that it had been so long since he’d done this that he might orgasm far too fast, when the bathroom door opened.

He quickly forgot his game plan to think about his least favorite sport, baseball if he felt himself getting too close to cumming far too soon, when she exited the bathroom.

She felt her cheeks flush debating if the white silky chemise was a little too on the nose. Though she knew she was no virgin the choice in such a pure sweet looking white silk nightgown seemed somewhat cliche in hindsight.

The chemise was low cut enough that it gave a healthy view of cleavage and it was short enough that it made her legs look incredible in her opinion. It fit against the curves of her body nicely and the fabric felt heavenly against her skin. The lingerie had been well worth the price. 

Worries that she was a walking cliche disappeared when she caught sight of her boyfriend’s gaze, the man looking up at her like she was by far the most stunning sight he’d ever seen.

He stood up from the bed, his knees feeling wobbly, his heart racing all the quicker.

He made his way towards her his hands held out to her, almost sure he’d trip over his own feet and break both his arms in the process.

He took her hands in his once again praying that he wasn’t sweaty or clammy. He spoke, unable to hide the lust dripping from his voice. “You look perfect.”

She felt the words leave her first instinct to give him one response. “There’s no such thing as perfect.”

“I’m looking at it.” He insisted the words coming to him without any sense of hesitation.

She released one of his hands reaching up to caress the side of his cheek, Jimmy unable to stop himself from leaning into her touch. It was something he’d discovered throughout their relationship; he was touch-starved. 

He was just relieved she was so willing to offer soft touches and gentle reassurances.

He leaned down his lips meeting hers, the kiss soft and uncertain almost like the first kiss they’d ever shared.

It didn’t take it long for the kiss to grow in confidence. He released her other hand, his hands finding a place at her sides, a soft moan leaving him at the silken feel of the fabric against her skin.

Her hand moved from his cheek placing at the back of his head, messing his hair as they continued to kiss. Her other hand placed at his side she gripped down onto his t-shirt trying to calm any anxiety swirling in her gut.

She pulled from the kiss the anxiety easily becoming a lingering pest in the back of her brain. “Can you do me a favor?”

“Anything, I’d do anything for you.” He was fast to respond, he was certain of the promise. He would give her anything. He was sure of it. She could ask him to go bungee jumping off the roof of their hotel right now and he was certain he’d agree to do it.

She felt her cheeks flush hoping she didn’t sound so childish for what she was about to request. “During it, can you talk to me? Just keep talking to keep me in the moment? I just…I want to know it’s you…I mean.”

She paused her stomach knotting up. “I know I’ve told you I’ve tried to do this before once after that first time…I tried with one other guy after my first experience but I couldn’t go through with it. I just thought it was easier to swear it off after that. The only other time I tried it with another guy…when I got brave enough to try I…it was easy for me to get in my head and panic and it stopped everything from proceeding. I don’t want to panic. I want to be reminded that I’m doing this with you…I guess I’m just thinking you always know what to say to make me feel safe. I want to feel safe. This should be about expressing love and I know it shouldn’t be scary. I feel so dumb for feeling scared…I’m a grown woman but I just get so in my head. I know I’ve made you wait so long and now I’m making it complicated. I know that it may sound like a stupid request but...”

He felt his heart ache and twist at the request he quick to reassure her not allowing her to devalue her own needs or apologize for taking this at her pace. “I’ll keep you in the moment. I promise, I will do whatever you need. It’s not dumb, nothing you need from me is dumb or something to be sorry for.”

She felt her eyes well up with tears. She spoke feeling pathetic. “Sorry for forcing you to give a pep talk…I’ve probably wrecked the mood.”

“You haven’t. How many times have you given me a pep talk? I recall you talking me down that first time we made out in my bed and I got weird. I’m pretty sure I’ve had to have you talk me through my fair share of misplaced shame and all my other baggage.” He reminded her his lips pressing to her forehead.

He embraced her, giving her a moment to relax, rocking her in place trying to wordlessly make it clear that they were moving at her pace. He didn’t care if it took all night and it was all stop and go. He wanted to make this what she deserved.

Her hand placed back at his cheek gazing down at her she becoming lost in his gaze for a while. She was almost convinced no one had prettier eyes than Jimmy Palmer. She was convinced that no one had kinder eyes either.

His kindness had played a factor into her falling for him.

She felt like the luckiest girl in the world. She had a kind, intelligent, sweet, funny, thoughtful boyfriend. He was an incredible father and a gentle partner. 

Falling in love with him had given her a sense of mixed up emotions. Adoration mixed with the guilt of knowing he was only hers because he’d lost such a big part of his heart.

Falling in love with a widower wasn’t without its misplaced guilt. Jimmy had mentioned his own shame but she could admit to hers as well.

She could remember the biggest thing that had broken that shame and made it fade. It had been a talk Jimmy had with Victoria about his relationship with Y/N as he’d tucked her into bed one night. It had been pretty soon after their relationship had become romantic. Y/N had only heard part of the conversation, but the words had still stuck out to her. 

“Loving Y/N doesn’t mean you and I didn’t love your mom. Loving Y/N doesn’t mean we love anyone else any less. I’ll always love your mom and I know you’ll always love her too. I loved your mom so much. Your mom is going to always love us even if she’s not here anymore. Love is pretty special because it’s not limited to just going to one person. Love is something that should be shared. You can’t hold on to love too tightly and you can’t refuse to give it to someone. Our hearts are big and they are filled with so much love. You shouldn’t hide any love you feel in your heart. You should always let people know you love them even if it feels scary. Life is so short. Remember how we talked about how everyone dies? Dying isn’t the important part honey. It happens everyday. Love is way more important than death. Everyone may die but love doesn’t die.”

If she’d had any doubts about loving Jimmy Palmer she was almost certain they would have died that night as she’d overheard that conversation. 

He was right, love was to be shared even if it was scary.

She pulled back from his embrace just enough to speak the request soft on her lips. “Can we lie down?”

He nodded his head wordlessly, taking her hand in his, leading her to the bed he thankful they’d gone with a larger hotel bed even if it had brought the price of the room up.

They laid down side by side Jimmy taking the opportunity to ditch his glasses on the nightstand before he turned his attention back to her.

His lips met hers, his hand reaching out to caress her side.

He knew that this was not an unfamiliar position lying side by side their lips locked.

She placed a hand at his cheek feeling a little bolder allowing one of her legs to slide over his scooting closer to him.

He moaned at the sudden movement, the chemise riding up exposing more of her leg dangerously close to revealing the lace of her panties.

She pulled her lips from his feeling daring enough to reach for the hem of his t-shirt pulling it up. He took the hint pulling it up and over his head tossing it across the room.

He felt his pride spike at her reaction to his bare torso, her moan soft as she took him in. He knew that he took good care of his core and his abs were always something he could at least feel confident about even if he wasn’t always the most psyched about the rest of his appearance.

She placed a hand at his side caressing his warm skin, his lips pressing back to hers he reaching out to caress her over the chemise.

She reached down, finding a little more confidence placing her hand over his maneuvering it to slide under her nightgown, his large hand pressing to her bare skin.

She spoke her voice a soft plea. “Talk to me please.”

“You’re so soft, the softest.” He blurted out the blood flow moving far enough from his brain to fill other areas of his body that he couldn’t find it in him to worry if he sounded dorky or foolish.

He lips pressed to hers between words. “I love you so much.”

“Love you too.” She managed to reply her lips pressing against his he continuing to caress her shyly exploring without pushing too far.

She placed a hand at his back caressing his skin, she moving her lips down his neck nipping at his skin, certain she’d leave a mark behind. She moaned at the thought.

Jimmy groaned at the stimulation, he continued to talk, saying anything that came to his brain. “Your lips feel so nice. I could kiss you forever.”

He continued to caress her, her lips and tongue sliding along his pulse point. He whined the lower region of his body, easily reacting.

She pulled from his neck her lips slightly swollen, the slight hint of lipstick she’d worn earlier smudged.

She placed a hand at his cheek, her eyes locking with his before she spoke. “Tell me you love me.”

He moaned the words falling from his lips without any second thought. “I love you. You have no idea just how much I love you.”

She placed a hand at the hem of her chemise pulling it up, she sitting up enough to pull it up and over her head.

She felt her cheeks flush this being the most exposed she’d been in front of any man in a long while.

Though a voice in the back of Jimmy’s head screeched to be a gentleman and to show some self control his eyes shifted down to her bare breasts an audible moan leaving him.

He spoke more to himself than to her. “Fuck.”

She let out a soft moan, the response surprising. Jimmy Palmer was not the type of guy that threw around curse words by nature. She wasn’t sure if it just came from being a parent, or if he was just naturally that polite. 

She relaxed back against the bed, their lips meeting again. Jimmy hesitantly reached out to touch her side, remembering to speak. “You’re so perfect. I love you so much.”

She dared to scoot closer to him, her bare torso pressing to his the sensation making audible gasps and moans leave them both.

She wrapped an arm around him she tracing his skin. Jimmy spoke against the kisses daring to ask. “Can I touch them?”

It took her lust hazy brain a second to clear and realize what he was suggesting but the answer came without doubts. “Yes, please.”

He groaned a large hand pressing over her breast. He caressed her skin before gently massaging her breast. His fingertips slid across her nipple teasing it, the action working a moan from her. 

He spoke following through on what he’d promised. “They’re so perfect, so fucking soft and full. Looks so perfect in my hand. Fuck, I’ve touched them over your clothes before, but this is so much better.”

He paused, managing to bring humor into the moment even if his brain was preoccupied with lust. “Just warning you, you’ve probably created a monster. I’m going to touch these any chance you allow it.” 

She managed to laugh at the comment the response leaving her. “I’ll allow it as long as we aren’t in public.”

He spoke again knowing he sounded desperate but he refused to take any step without her consent. “Can I kiss them, please, baby?”

“Please.” The reply left her she feeling breathless, her own lust beginning to flood over any other coherent thought.

He locked his lips over her breast suckling her nipple desperately. He moaned against her skin the vibration making her whimper. He spoke against her damp skin his lips and tongue teasing her nipples. “I love you. Thank you.”

She moaned surprised by the reaction her body had to him thanking her. She couldn’t deny that her clit throbbed at the statement as innocent as it seemed.

She placed a hand at the back of his head messing his hair as he continued to focus on her breasts kissing, sucking, and nipping at the delicate skin giving her the distinct feeling that at this rate she was going to have at least one serious hickey pressed to at least one breast. 

He spoke between the stimulation his voice muffled more praises and thank yous spilling from him each word making her center clinch. She was certain her panties must be drenched at this point. 

She was astounded given that if someone had asked her a few years ago she’d exclaim that she couldn’t comprehend going this far with anyone, but here she was wet and desperate with a man she was crazy about attached to her breast praises spilling from him.

Jimmy moaned against her skin knowing he was so hard he was almost sure he could break glass. 

The fear that he might possibly be a disappointing lover seemed to be slipping from his brain the only thing he could focus on was the woman beside him and the moans leaving her. He knew he was babbling against her skin the words needy and full of reverence; beautiful, soft, perfect, sexy, incredible.

She reluctantly scooted from his ministrations, feeling her cheeks flush from more than arousal as she spoke. “Can you take your boxers off?”

He moaned almost sure he’d never moved faster in his life. His movements were so clumsy that he was shocked he didn’t accidentally kick her or fall off the bed.

He managed to somehow lose his boxers kicking them somewhere across the room.

He felt a spark of insecurity begin to blossom in his brain. Maybe he should have manscaped a little better? Was he way too hairy? Would this spook her given that he was fully nude now even if it was at her request?

She dared to gaze down at him her cheeks growing darker any insecurity that had been blossoming in his brain withering up and dying at her words. “Fuck, it’s thicker than I thought.”

He gazed down at his erect cock, he almost certain the sight must look a little ridiculous they both gazing down at his privates examining his dick. 

He felt his cheeks flush at the statement the words leaving him. “I’m pretty sure I’m mostly average…I mean I’m pretty sure I’ve read that the average length is around five and a half inches though most guys will argue that they’re at least six.”

“You’ve looked into it? I mean you’ve researched it?” She dared to ask, the amusement somewhat evident in her voice.

Jimmy felt his cheeks flush further. “I have a deep understanding of anatomy due to the nature of my profession…and I had a lot of access to the internet and a lot of freetime in my early twenties.”

She spoke, still unable to tear her eyes away from his cock. “Can I touch it?”

He moaned his cock twitching at the request as though it was answering for him. He nodded his head trying to balance out being needy and reassuring all at once. “Only if you want to. I…I don’t want you to feel you know…like I expect it. I want to move at your pace.”

She tore her eyes from his cock as she pressed a kiss to his lips. She couldn’t hide the adoration from her voice as she spoke. “I want to touch it, trust me. I want this.”

She pulled her lips from his staring back down at his cock. She reached forward gently wrapping a hand around him, a soft gasp leaving her.

He moaned his gaze following hers. He whined as she placed a thumb at his tip rubbing the slit gathering the precum that had begun to bead up. She used it to swipe across the tip of his cock his balls throbbing at the action. 

He spoke certain he was supposed to keep up with his promise to talk to her during this entire experience. “Fuck, oh babe. Love you, fuck.”

He groaned knowing it wasn’t the most eloquent thing he could say but it was hard no pun intended when she was currently sliding her thumb along his sensitive tip precum desperately seeping from him.

She spoke her voice soft. “I should probably use some lube before I go any further? Can’t imagine it’ll be any fun dry?”

He desperately reached out, finding the tube of lube he’d left on the nightstand fumbling through opening it as he handed it to her.

She took the lube and her cheeks flushed. She was unsure where she’d found the confidence to be this dominant after all she’d spent so long terrified of all things related to sex. She guessed it was just that it was Jimmy. She trusted him immensely. Exploring this with him and giving sex a chance seemed less intimidating because it was him.

The further they went tonight the less frightened she felt. 

She warmed a healthy amount of lube in her hand before wrapping her hand around him. Jimmy moaned at the sensation, his hips moving a little eager to chase the stimulation. 

He spoke as she began to stroke him, unable to take her eyes off him, almost fascinated with the concept that she was feeling this confident and making him feel this good. “I love you. Oh my God, babe. That’s so…that’s perfect, just like that.”

He kept his eyes locked on what she was doing to him, almost sure that this was the most erotic thing he’d seen in his life. He couldn’t help but to wish he could save the sight in his brain forever. Her delicate hand wrapped around his slick cock, her nails painted a bright shade of blue, he leaking against her skin making a mess.

He gripped down onto the bed sheets, his gaze unable to leave her treatment of him. He spoke his voice needy. “I love this so much. Fuck that’s so perfect, my love.”

He whimpered his balls aching it taking everything in him to say the words he hating that he had to stop this so soon. “I don’t want to cum like this, not right now. Fuck it’s so tempting. You can make me cum like this later.”

She pulled her hand from him, the giggle that left her making him throb all the more. “I’m going to so do this again before we leave Vegas.”

He moaned as her lips pressed to his. He managed to speak against the kiss. “I feel pathetic for being so close that quick. It’s been so long.”

He felt his cheeks flush all the darker the confession spilling from him. “I mean I’ve jacked off probably a little too much especially lately, but you know someone else touching me is way more intense.”

He resisted the urge to bury his face against the pillow and never emerge knowing he had a case of babbling and shoving his foot in his mouth as it was. Apparently if his dick got any stimulation he became an even bigger social disaster.

She spoke holding her hand up thankfully not calling him out on his confession. “Got a tissue?”

He moved quickly, finding them on the nightstand she cleaning herself.

His lips met hers, the kleenex going somewhere on the floor.

He moaned his cock pressing to the lace of her panties he resisting the urge to grind against her.

She caressed his body, not shy about grasping onto his backside giving it a squeeze, her voice teasing against his lips. “Not going to lie, pretty sure I spent way too much time staring at your butt before we started dating…and probably a lot of time after.”

He moaned against her lips, his voice just as teasing. “Stared at yours too, it’s okay.”

She spoke, deciding to take the next step feeling more and more confident the longer they went. “Jimmy, take my panties off please.”

He groaned, his hands moving sure his movements were clumsy. He spoke as he began to slide them down her hips. “I’ve never heard a prettier request.”

He stared down at her, a moan spilling from him as they worked her panties down her legs they disappearing somewhere towards the foot of the bed.

He kept his hand at her hip unable to work up the nerve to move it as he gazed down at her center.

She spoke uncertain of how to read his gaze. “I thought about doing a full brazilian wax, but there’s something about that just feels I don’t know…too much. So, I just decided to take care of the bikini line and clean up as usual.”

He nodded his head a moan leaving him. “Good choice. To be fair though…pretty sure I’d like it no matter what.”

She couldn't help but to giggle though she had a feeling he was being sincere.

He stared down at her overwhelmed with thoughts of what he wanted. He wanted to bury his face in her pussy. He wanted to bury his cock in it. He wanted to bury his fingers in her. He wanted to cum on her and in her.

He shoved the thoughts back a voice in the back of his head fast to speak up Let her set the pace dumbass.

She spoke a hint of shyness sneaking in now that she was completely bare in front of him. “Can you touch me…and keep talking please.”

He nodded his head eagerly reaching forward, his fingers sliding along her slit. He spoke the moan leaving him. “You’re soft here too. Fuck, my love, you’re wet too. You’re soaked.”

He spoke needing to get the green light from her. “Can I put my fingers in? I want to make you feel good.”

“Please.” The words barely left her before he slid one finger through her slickness allowing another to join along beside it.

He spoke his voice thick with lust. “Oh my god, fuck, you are so wet. You’re tight too and hot.”

She whined as he stroked his fingers experimentally sliding them in and out of her. The sensation wasn’t unfamiliar from when she occasionally touched herself but his fingers were far larger and they went a lot deeper than her own.

She spread her legs encouraging him the action working a praise from him. “So perfect, such a perfect girl, letting me make her feel good.”

He found her clit rubbing soft circles against it causing her to grip down on the bedsheets a moan leaving her.

Jimmy spoke daring to ask. “Can I taste you? I want to go eat you out, only if you’re okay with it. I won’t be upset if you say no.”

She nodded her head no doubts appearing in her mind. “Do it, please Jimmy.”

He moved down her body, his voice reassuring. “I obviously won’t be able to talk to you down here, but if you need me to stop just say the word. I won’t be upset.”

She nodded her head relaxing a whimper leaving her as he removed his fingers from her center he unable to stop himself from cleaning her taste from them. He spoke a moan leaving him. “Love how you taste. I said earlier I wasn’t going to be able to stop touching your breasts, but now I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be able to keep my mouth off your pussy either.”

She felt her center clinch there something so satisfying about hearing him say something so filthy. Maybe it was just that she knew it was a side of him only she was getting to see.

He spoke his breath warm against her center. “You ready, babe?”

She nodded her head the answer leaving her with no hesitation. “Yes.”

He lapped at her center slowly, delicately taking his time. He encouraged her to place her legs over his shoulders, wanting to be as close to her pussy as possible. He moaned against her those fears he had about being a disappointment in bed fading even further away.

He wasn’t lying. He had a feeling he’d want to spend even more time down here if she’d allow it.

He licked her from her perineum up to her throbbing clit unable to hold back any sounds of pleasure from his own lips. The moans and whines of his name that left her encouraged him to keep it up.

He gazed up at her from between her thighs moaning as he watched her reaction, her head thrown back one of her hands massaging her breast.

He reached up allowing his hand to take its place eagerly massaging her breast toying with her nipple causing her to gasp his name all the more.

She managed to speak her voice soft and sweet. “Oh, God, Jimmy. Feels too good.”

He moaned in response his cock leaking precum against the sheets he hoping he wouldn’t cum from this alone.

He began to focus on her clit remembering her reaction to his fingers moments ago. The action made her thighs quiver a whine leaving her as he gently sucked at the bundle of nerves.

He allowed his fingers to slide into her center sliding in and out of her as his tongue busied itself with her clit.

She gripped onto the back of his head pulling his hair probably a little too hard her voice shaky. “Fuck, Jimmy. I’m gonna…I’m so close.”

He moaned in response her comment encouraging him to continue; she so wet she was dripping down his fingers as he thrusted them in her center. 

She cried out her thighs shaking her back arching her end hitting her so quickly and suddenly she almost felt breathless.

Jimmy continued to focus on her clit, his movements a little gentler and slower as he worked her through her orgasm.

As she came down from her orgasm the stimulation became too much she frantically moving out of his touch.

He stared up at her, the adoration clear in his eyes as he once again cleaned her from his fingers.

He pressed his lips to her thighs wanting to check in on her well aware that he still needed to be delicate with her. “How are we doing? You okay?”

She spoke, her voice shaky. “Fuck, Jimmy. So good.”

She took a deep shuddering breath, her body feeling limp and pleasant. “I don’t think I’ve ever cum so hard.”

He felt a sense of pride wash over him, he moved back up her body, pressing soft loving kisses to her skin. 

His lips met hers, she gasped at the fact that the lower region of his body was still very much alert and excited. 

She whimpered as his cock brushed against her center desire, easily flooding through her even in the afterglow of the most intense orgasm she’d ever had in her life.

She spoke almost sure she’d never been so certain of anything in her entire life. “I want more. Want you in me.”

He groaned, his cock aching at the request. He spoke needing to know she was sure. “Are you sure? You’re ready? I don’t want you to feel pressured. Trust me, babe. I’m having a good time regardless of if we continue or not.”

“I want more, please Jimmy. Make love to me. Want you to bury yourself in me and make me cum again.” She replied not above lying it on thick wanting to express just how badly she needed this to continue.

He groaned at the words, his voice still hesitant. “And you’re sure we don’t need the condoms? I mean...you're 100 percent sure you're okay proceeding without…I know you’re on the pill and we're both clean. You're completely sure about this?.”

He felt his cheeks flush remembering the awkwardness of the first conversation they'd had about birth control. He was pretty sure he’d blurted out that he wouldn’t mind having another kid but he would prefer to wait even if they waited a while and it made him an old dad. He was also pretty sure he mentioned that they should talk to his daughter before they even considered trying for a baby.

He was just relieved that she hadn’t minded his babbling and hadn’t run far far away at the mention of making a baby. She'd given him the gentle reassurance that she was on the pill and had been for a long while. She was fine not bothering with dealing with condoms if he was okay with it. It was a waste of money if she was on the pill she'd pointed out.

She caressed his sides, the neediness clear in her voice. “I'm so sure. I want to feel all of you. Please, Jimmy. I need you.”

He groaned, nodding his head, the question leaving him. “Me on top?”

She nodded her head, the response leaving her. “For the first time. We are definitely trying other positions before we leave Vegas.”

He groaned, nodding his head knowing she’d get no arguments from him on those plans.

He reached down grasping his cock in his hand sliding it along her center trying to coat himself in her knowing the lube they’d used earlier was most likely dry by now.

He spoke needing to ask as he positioned himself at her entrance. “Do we need lube?”

She shook her head a giggle leaving her. “You just ate my pussy like it was your last meal. Pretty sure you know how soaked I am. I don’t think we need the extra moisture.”

He giggled at the comment, his cock twitching at the reminder of what he’d just done to her.

He took a deep breath needing to say it. “If it gets to be too much just say the word. I’ll stop no hurt feelings.”

With that he thrust forward her tight center enveloping his aching cock. He groaned as he buried himself in her slowly to the hilt a cry leaving the both of them as his pelvis pressed to hers.

He spoke knowing that her request to talk wasn’t any less relevant now. “You feel so good. So so so good. Could spend the rest of my life here.”

She giggled at the statement Jimmy groaning as her body shifted against him. She spoke her voice light and airy as she stroked his skin. “You fill me up so good, Jimmy.”

He moaned at the comment daring to rock against her, not quite ready to pull out just yet. “You’re so fucking wet and you’re so snug around my cock.”

She whimpered at the comment needing to say it. “I love you.”

“I love you so much. Love you.” He replied, finally forcing himself to pull out before thrusting back in.

He did his best to keep his gaze locked with hers as he found a rhythm, her legs wrapping around his hips, tilting her hips back giving him a deeper angle to thrust.

He groaned as he watched her reaction, he was sure he’d never get enough of seeing her in this moment. Her eyes struggled to stay locked with his and not slide closed as she soaked up the pleasure. Her lips were parted soft sweet moans leaving her. 

He spoke, continuing to rock in and out of her. “You’re so perfect.”

She whined at the praise, her nails digging into his back as he sped up his pace. The only thing that managed to fill the room were shared moans, soft praises, the creak of the hotel bed, and the sound of his skin meeting hers.

He groaned the words leaving him not caring if he was just saying anything that came to his brain. “Feels like your body was made for me, feels too good. Fuck, you’re never going to get rid of me after this. Gonna follow you like a lost dog. I’m yours.”

She pressed her lips to his a giggle leaving her. “Don’t want to ever get rid of you.”

She dared to reach between them, finding her clit rubbing tight circles against it. Jimmy groaned as it hit him what she was doing. He made a note to get her to do it again in those other positions she was promising he wanting a better clearer view. “That’s my girl, fuck yes. Help me make you feel so good. Want to make you cum again. Gonna make you cum so much before we leave Vegas.”

She whimpered, doubling down her head falling back ,the stimulation almost too much. She was almost certain if this was anyone but Jimmy she would have tapped out by now.

She was amazed that something that she’d been so afraid of for so long now managed to feel so amazing. She knew that Jimmy was the main factor in it feeling so wonderful. No other man would have ever made her feel this secure to ever give any of this a chance after last time.

Her last experience was pushed so far from her mind the only thing she could focus on was the man over her making her feel this amazing.

She whined, her body sliding closer and closer to finding release for the second time tonight. Jimmy sensed it, he speaking unable to stop himself from babbling it clear he was struggling not to become lost in his own pleasure. “Fuck, hon, oh God, beautiful, feels too good, oh fuck, perfect love.”

Her clit throbbed her body sliding closer and closer the feeling euphoric and so all consuming. She could feel the tension building in her body, she sliding so close to release.

She felt herself slide over the edge, Jimmy's name leaving her lips ,she digging her nails into his back she was almost sure she was risking drawing blood.

If she was, it went unnoticed by Jimmy, the sensation of her center fluttering around him she so soaked and hot he almost wanted to cry.

He did his best to keep thrusting through her orgasm though his movements were sloppy and clumsy, his cock aching his balls drawing close to his body signaling his own end was right around the corner.

It didn’t take long for him to follow her right over the edge as she finally began to come down from her own orgasm. He only managed a couple of clumsy thrusts, his own body reaching its end.

He moaned so loud he had to bury his face against the pillows, almost certain he’d deafen her or piss off their neighbors as he fell over the edge.

He spilled into her his release hot, his hips weakly thrusting. He knew they were making a mess as he came deep inside of her, her body taking it all a soft gasp leaving her the sensation intense even with as overstimulated as she was from her own orgasm.

He collapsed against her his body feeling heavy and drained as the last of his release seeped out of him.

His cock began to soften knowing any movement would mean sliding from her warmth but he found himself unwilling to pull out of her. He was relieved that she held onto him desperately, apparently just as eager to keep him within her as he was to stay.

He whined as his anatomy won out over his will he sliding from her.

He reluctantly rolled off of her, wasting little time to slide as close to her as possible.

She turned to face him cringing both at the soreness between her thighs and the smallest hint of their mixed releases leaking from her.

Jimmy reached out, smoothing back her hair, his voice raspy and exhausted. “You okay?”

“Never better…what about you?” She dared to ask knowing that tonight had been just as big of a deal to him.

“So good, perfect.” He insisted daring to lean in his lips sliding along hers lazily.

She returned his kisses, her voice soft and drowsy as she struggled to stay awake. “I love you.”

“Love you too, so much.” He insisted his hand pressing to her cheek his other hand pressing to her back as he held her against him.

She held on to him just as tightly, her voice so sleepy. “Can we share a bath after we rest?”

“Definitely. A bath sounds perfect. Then I think you said something in the midst of passion about trying other positions. I know we’ve got a week in Vegas, but there are a lot of positions out there. We can probably even google some new ones.” He replied, his lips pressing to any bit of skin he could reach he unable to resist teasing her about her earlier comment about different positions.

She giggled, nodding her head. “The hotel does have free wifi. Rest first though.”

He managed to speak as her eyes slid shut, his lips pressing to her temple, his own eyes growing just as heavy. “Love you, thank you for not letting me be scared to love you.”

[emilywaters]

So I just finished watching arcane season 2 act 3 and I have Thoughts.

Act 3 spoilers below

(I apologise for any spelling/grammar mistakes and if it all sounds wack. It's like late and I needed to empty my brain)

So I'll start with what I absolutely loved.

Seeing that Vi is actually the 'jinx' bcs in the timeline she dies, everyone else lives. And along this line is her saying, "I always choose wrong."

Lesbian Sex.

Canon Lesbian Sex.

The JaVik space marriage.

The casual representation of a very huge amount of demographics (queer, disabled, POC, etc)

The art style, animation, soundtrack, voice acting, character designs, set designs, fight scenes, the casual representation, all of those were absolutely beautiful. It was clearly a labour of love, and I have so much respect and appreciation for every single person involved.

Next, I do have some neutral points, where there are questions I'm not sure were answered, but it could also be me missing something.

These include,

The actual motive of the black roses,

What Ambessa did to piss them off,

Why Maddie was with Ambessa,

The consequences of going beyond the 4 second limit,

And potentially more. If there are answers to these questions that I have simply missed, please do tell me and disregard any points I make surrounding them.

Okay, so if nearly everything was perfect, where do I find fault? Tragically, the plot.

I watched season 1 quite a while back, so I'm drawing on my murky memories of it when I reference it.

In season 1 our main conflict was the undercity, with Jink, Silco, Sevika, versus the rich and affluent Piltover. Rich girl realizes the people of Zaun are suffering and two scientists try to solve problems in their own way.

This theme carries over into the first act of season 2, and somewhat into the 2nd act as well. However, this storyline, which has been a very important one, seems to almost be completely discarded for the Hextech-arcane plot line.

The undercity Vs the rich feels like it was solved too easily. How does a city that has suffered immensely at the hands of the rich and successful turn around so quickly to help them. And how does a city sending polluted air into an already crumbling city, ignoring their poverty and calling them filthy animals, simply turn around and accept them. It feels like that theme was shoved into a drawer, with having Sevika and others joining the council added as a consolation prize. There was no justice for their dead. And those in power suffer no consequences.

As I so crassly put it in my fervent texts to my friend, "Season 2 looked like it was going to be rich bitches Vs poor on steroids with police brutality." That's how the first act started out. We were going to see how the effects of grief, manipulation, hatred and privilege so quickly blur out all the innocent collateral of your rampage.

Then these seemed to minimize within the second act and vanish almost entirely in the third act. Additionally, the other minor plots feel underdeveloped, with a lot of potential, but too many spread too thin.

I saw some people talking about how Arcane was rushing the plot too much at the start of season two, and I do see what they mean now.

The inherent theme of the story, which was about liberation, equality, the guilt of the rich, felt like it shifted in act 3 into, again, as crassly put by me, "true peace is hive mind oh wait no imperfections are good thing."

Of course, I could be completely wrong and missing the mark entirely, so if I am please do enlighten me, preferably without insult, as I've been known to be careless.

The Undercity's rage requires more justice and I feel like it was discarded for a flashier prize.

I feel like the first arc and some of the second could've been a season by itself. They could've tied up the undercity Vs rich plot, with some form of stalemate or some other conclusion, and shift the focus to the Hextech-arcane plot line, with Jayce's whole speech about unity.

Then the latter half of act 2 and the third act would be a season 3, giving more time and weight to that battle and the factors surrounding it, while also showing the results of the previous parts.

I do wonder if there was an ultimatum where we get one season with lesbians or no lesbians and more seasons, where the former was chosen, but that's just conspiracy and speculation.

All in all, it's a beautiful show that had a lot of potential, but rushed and botched something they could've milked for one more season, for the money's sake, if not for good plot. If my points are dissuaded by any things I missed, please do let me know.

I did enjoy the show immensely and it was a good time overall. I'm in love with the characters and their dynamics and the setting and the art and animation, the soundtrack, it may have not made sense, but by god was it beautiful.

[muffinsin]

Hi again muffin. Could you do a happy/smutty sequel to some of the angsty s/o died to whatever with them being revived by the cadou as is I remember correctly the sisters were all dead when they turned so it wouldn't be too far past the point for an s/o to be saved using it. Also please with the s/o keeping their memory just happy sisters with safe cadou'ed beloveds murdering anyone who looks at their partners wrong.

Again Thank you.

Hiya! Did I get myself a nickname?👀XP

Actually did something similar here, of the reader being revived and the sisters getting clingy :)

Let’s get into this, we need some happy endings after the angst! :)

Masterlist 1

Masterlist 2

Bela

She’s head over heels when the cadou implant works and you are brought back to life

Alive. In her arms. Holding her as she holds you. She thought she would never feel it again

She is immensely protective and eager to learn of your new abilities

Also, she barely leaves your side for quite a while. She hopes you don’t mind, though

She is quick to teach you: now it means kill, or be killed

And she will not lose you again

She basks in your warmth, and frankly: is quite flustered around you when you simply have a more powerful aura due to the cadou infecting you

If you grow taller than her due to your transformation, this absolutely is a way to fluster her as well

She’s very eager to learn with you, and support you

Though she is also protective as it comes to your transformation: it’s fresh, and she wants you to be careful. She knows the sensation of feeling unstoppable all too well

She doesn’t want you dying on her purely out of recklessness

If you must feast on blood, she will only bring you the finest. If not, she will ensure you get enough food to sate your hunger

Bela is, aside from being happy you’re back, thrilled at another thing that has been on her mind:

Eternity together

She is so happy to spend the rest of her life with you

She can’t help but get ahead of herself, imagining weddings and such, a future an eternity away of the two of you still together

What is more beautiful than that?

She does not share these thoughts just yet, but is sure to show her love to you every day

In bed, she is absolutely a fan of your enhanced senses and such

More strength to your body? Prepare for her to explore your new limits, bringing orgasm after orgasm or edging for hours until you beg the sweet blonde

To tease you with all the sounds and scents you can hear now-

Her cunt squelching from her wetness,

Her heartbeat quickening,

Her gasps and moans louder and more defined, her own blood pumping

On the submissive side, she absolutely screams in delight when you use your newly acquired strength on her

She is yours, utterly, and you are hers. And everybody who messes with what is hers regrets it bitterly

Every maid glancing at you the wrong way is dragged to the dungeons, never to be seen again

Secretly, she loves when you are possessive/protective and harm, or even murder those looking at her wrong or with a little too much desire

Every intruder who dares come into the castle is slain. Should you not be grossed out by this, she will bathe in their blood with you

Cassandra

The first thing you feel upon waking up, is Cassandra’s weight against you, her arms tightly around you

“How dare you make me worry about you!”

She’s emotional and she hates it. She absolutely will not show you that she has been crying, instead opts for hiding in your neck

You smell different- it excites her, and she immediately asks for a taste

She can’t help it, really

The cadou enriches your blood further. She’s already loved it, but now? She’s shamelessly moaning into your head every single time she has a taste. It tastes so good, and can really get her going

She will not stray from your side for a while, and is eager to test out your new abilities as soon as possible

If you require blood, she is even more thrilled

This means you get to hunt with her!

Cassandra is by no means sappy or a romantic, cheesy lover, but hunting together? It’s the utter definition of romance to her

She loves the mere thought of it, and must hold back from immediately dragging you outside to do so

Upon hunting together, she feels so many things. Pride, eagerness, arousal

It turns her on endlessly to watch you kill and she will need relief- fast and hard, against a tree or on the ground even- she cannot wait until you return to the castle

Aside from this, she is so proud to have an infected lover

She doesn’t want to lose you to mortality. Never. It’s one less thing to worry about

Cassandra will often ask you to join her in the dungeons

She will only pout as normal if you refuse, and ask for extra time spent together later on,

Should you join, the brunette will ramble on and teach you all her ways

Together, you explore your mutation

Cassandra enjoys blood baths and will often ask you to join now that you are infected- it’s so good for your skin, she agues. You’re unsure if this is true or just something she says to lure you into the large pool of blood

Daniela

She pounces on you at the first possible chance, giggling happily

You’ve only been dead for a short while, until the cadou set in, but still…

Your little love bug missed you dearly!

She grins and kisses you, then draws back in surprise at your changed scent and taste

She likes it!

She’s so giddy and clingy, and especially enthusiastic when she finds out about your enhanced strength and senses

This redheaded fly-mutant will insist you carry her the majority of the time of your first few days back

She still loves being carried afterwards, of course, and will often ask you to do so

She immediately serves you the finest of foods- everything, unsure of what your taste will be like

Will you be like her family? Craving blood?

She’ll have bowls and glasses prepared with the finest one, picked by her and (don’t tell😬) stolen from her Mother’s personal collection

Or will you be like Lord Heisenberg and Beneviento and prefer food as you’ve had it?

Not an issue! She’s brought you the finest meals from the duke that even have her stomach growl

She’s excited to see you be more enduring now

She can finally play a little more rough with you!

Of course, she will also be quite emotional for a while, and extremely protective

Have you been killed by a lycan, she will offer you to go for revenge. She knows a small lycan camp just in the forest near the castle…

She wants to show you the mutts haven’t got anything on you anymore. They’re prey, if anything.

She likes to taunt them with her sister and wants to show you they’re no threat anymore

In bed, she is absolutely thrilled to try out new things

Your strength for one. She urges you to take it out on her- she knows she can take it, and is eager to

She wants to feel your hand slapping against her ass cheeks and wants to howl in pain from the amount of force used

Eagerly, she asks you for the same treatment with a strap on/when filling her

She is delighted to explore your body again, over and over again, and is tempted to brat even more than she does at times, eager for punishments

When someone glances at you for too long, she immediately snaps

You’re hers! They have no business looking at you. Perhaps, it would be more merciful to send her poor victim to the cellar once she’s done with them…

When she notices you kill or harm for her, she is flustered. She thinks it’s romantic, unsurprisingly. She’s always wanted a little unhinged monster all to herself! For this to be partly implemented in your personality due to the cadou is exciting to her

She knows, for eternity, you will always have each other. As she likes to say:

You’ll be together, forever

[pure-ablution]

Hi kitty, I need a bit of guidance and I thought here would be the right place to start gathering information. So I’m 18 and I’m thinking about starting to date. I’ve never thought about it before because I was very absorbed by my studies. As a young girl i got a lot of conflicting messages: I know what men like and want and I do embody a decent part of that but I don’t necessarily bring it out every day ( the dresses, softness and general gentleness). I know that if I grow my hair longer I may be more attractive and whilst I don’t really care about the length of my hair and this wouldn’t mind spending some extra time doing research to alter it, I just don’t know if it’s the clever thing to do.

Should I, as some say “come as I am” and look for someone who likes me as such. Or it it okay to smell a bit sweeter, smile a bit wider and lean into the more romantic and warm aspects of myself in order to attract. Is it manipulative ? And is it so wrong for one to put oneself in a specific position to so to say “attract” the desired outcome? (Especially if the said outcome is to be loved and cherished). I’m so confused and while I have my own vague thoughts and opinions outlined on the matter, I’d like to get a second opinion. Thank you 😊

It sounds to me as though you need to spend a little time with your own thoughts, away from all the conflicting messages and differences of opinion, and slowly figure out what it is you want for yourself. Starting to date for the very first time is a significant milestone in anyone’s life, and I think that it’s an experience to be taken slowly, and savoured. Before you start thinking about dating, you need to be sure of yourself, your intentions and aims, and, as cliché as it might sound, love yourself first and foremost.

My blog talks about a specific sort of femininity, because it’s what has worked for me, personally, and it’s what I lean into, but it’s by no means the only sort out there. Men are as widely varied a breed as any other, and whilst some might appreciate long hair and a gentle nature, others really do go wild for a fun bob and outrageous personality. Every man I’ve ever known, romantically or otherwise, has had different tastes and types, and I really do mean that: I’ve been told in no uncertain terms by all kinds that I’m too plain, too thin, too girlish, not blonde enough, not dark enough, not sexy enough, and the list could go on. My best friend, Joy, is a high-powered career woman in every sense, six feet tall and broad as a barn door—she dresses in leathers and cuts her hair short, and her man thinks that she’s the absolute bee’s knees. I would hate for you to think that you have to look a certain way to attract a boy, because it’s really, honestly just not true. I’m all for a planned and calculated revamp, don’t get me wrong, but only ever to make the best of what you’ve already been given, not to turn yourself into something you’re naturally not.

Making the best of yourself, whatever form that takes, is not manipulative in the slightest. It’s doing yourself proud, and cherishing what God, nature, or the universe (whatever your persuasion) gave you, way back when. A man loves to see a woman who takes care of herself with respect, dignity, and love for her own features. It’s immensely attractive. This might be a controversial sticking point in some circles, but I really do believe that not taking care of oneself isn’t a pious display of modesty, but rather a disrespect for God’s most cherished creation. You deserve to be and feel beautiful, to be loved and cherished by yourself and those around you, and that often starts with taking a pride in your appearance, and working out what looks, approaches, and mannerisms will help you to embrace your natural character to its greatest extent. A man will love you for who you are, I can promise you that, but he’ll love to see you taking care of yourself and making the best of things even more. Respect and love for oneself inspires and instills respect and love from others.

You’re 18, and your life really is just starting. You don’t need to trouble yourself with whatever the cleverest or most strategic thing to do might be—you need to have fun, and follow what feels right. Give yourself time, go on a few dates and get to know what you like and what you don’t, think it through, and please, don’t throw yourself headlong into the deep end just yet. There’s time for everything.

[nicoyeetzawa]

Batshit insane thesis because I’ve been watching ATLA and listening to the Steven Universe soundtrack and I’m neurospicily obsessed with both series (major spoilers for both as well but primarily Steven universe). I would say this is brainrotted, but it’s so much critical thinking that it’s straight up just overthinking. Brain TOO active. I’m not saying I’m smart, I’m saying my brain doesn’t shut the ever loving fuck up.

Anyway, the take: every character in the Gaang represents a phase of Rose Quartz, and really well somehow. Follow me here:

Toph: Pink Diamond (told you there’d be spoilers). They were both raised in households that told them they were powerless, and neglected to realize how much capacity they truly have to hurt others. Both characters have to accept that they don’t exist in a vacuum, and that their actions and others’ are intertwined, especially when they learn to rely on others. Toph doesnt commit war crimes solely because her family never gave her the literal colony. However, the first thing she does is join an underground fighting ring where she beats up men for sport. I’m not saying those are on the same level, but I AM saying that if she was raised with the diamonds’ moral codes that she would’ve killed a lot more people than she canonically did in the series.

Sokka: Rose Quartz, war era. Now with the weight of the world on their shoulders, all they can do to protect what little they have that they love is fight and hide what makes them vulnerable. They’re geniuses on the battle field and consider themselves quite unremarkable, but others look up to them in so many ways that they’re only starting to realize. While Sokka certainly doesn’t lie the way Rose does (for obvious reasons), it would be wrong to say that he doesn’t put up a facade that both confirms his arrogance and undermines his true character. Only by meeting the kyoshi warriors and getting his ass saved by Katara, Toph and aang (people he previously thought beneath him in some way) several times does he stop trying to be something he’s not and allow his true strengths to shine through, becoming the leader he wanted to be. Similarly, Rose goes from being a diamond, a commander and fighter, to being a healer.

Katara: Rose Quartz, post war. Rose is a literal and metaphorical mother figure to a lot of characters. She was the mom friend to garnet, amethyst and pearl, and all the corrupted / not yet corrupted crystal gems. She basically raised, as Connie says, a bunch of super-powered children. Everyone looked up to her, and she felt both immense pressure as well as an intense sense of purpose from taking care of everyone. She often mothers the characters (and frequently gets called out for being too overbearing) because she’s terrified of losing more people, and feels the need to take care of them in order to both help them and keep her purpose alive within herself. No, this isn’t saying Katara or Rose is manipulative, it’s saying they both love the people around them deeply despite the fear of losing everything again.

Aang: Steven in the mainline series. He inherited a war that wasn’t his own. He barely knows the person everyone expects him (and needs him) to be, and yet he’s overwhelmed by the pressure and isolation that comes with being a leader, all as a child. He wasn’t supposed to carry this burden, and despite being powerful, his childish nature sometimes causes more harm than good. However it’s this same whimsy that leads him to bring people together, both human and nonhuman. It’s just unfortunate that he thinks the weight of the world has to fall on his shoulders because no one else can carry it. Also, Greg would have absolutely run away from the air temple and its regimented lifestyle in order to have fun, raising Steven to do the same. The only difference between the two is that Steven, to my memory, never runs away from the hard challenge. The issue is that he should’ve at a lot of points.

Zuko (this for deleted for some reason so this is a rewrite): Steven Universe Future. Horribly scarred by the past in ways both visible and so invisible that they don’t want to even admit to it, Zuko and Steven are hurt people who hurt people here. Driven by their need to prove themselves, they have an inflated sense of self importance that make them need to be needed, despite others just not needing them anymore. There are times where they feel like monsters (sometimes more literal than others), but the people in their lives who truly care about them guide them home and allow them to love themselves.

So yeah, there’s my take. These stemmed from people constantly misinterpreting Pink/Rose/Steven despite them being complex characters for a reason. I don’t think rose is a good or a bad person, because she did horrible things, learned from them, and did everything she possibly could to rectify and grow new life from the harm she did. It helps that all of these characters are separate people who intertwine very well and are placed in situations where they have the chance to do good. All of these characters are complex, and I’m tired of the ATLA characters getting more praise for being complex.

[ffxiv-swarm]

prompt 19: taken

She and Avery have been together for a while. Rita thinks she’s probably getting a decent enough handle on this dating thing, considering she’s never done it before.

(“What th’ fuck,” Gan says when she mentions that. “What about Emm?...what do you mean, not th’ same thing?!” But it isn’t. This is serious. She and Avery live together, fight together, have faced down the end of the world together. He may not have her near-bottomless well of aether, may not have been Hydaelyn’s Champion first, but his is the seat of Azem—alone among the Scions, alone among all the men of the world, he is the one she trusts on the battlefield. And because he is kind and patient and good—because he calls her my lady and means it—she trusts him with her heart as well.)

(It is absolutely not the same thing as when she was with Emmanellain de Fortemps.)

They’re in Tural for two days when she realizes she might have a problem. Not with Avery—gods, no, even in this beautiful land filled with new and exciting people, he only has eyes for her. (Sometimes literally. When she debuts a new swimsuit he nearly trips off the edge of the For’ard Cabins pier.) She knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is loyal.

No, her problem is with everyone else.

Wuk Lamat shrugs cheerfully when she brings it up. “There aren’t a lot of elezen here! Avery’s just...new. Exotic! Like I was in Sharlayan!”

Rita narrows her eyes at her. “When you were in Sharlayan, you were single.”

“What does that have to do with...oh. Oh. Right.” Wuk Lamat certainly understands when flirtation is directed at her—though watching her try to flirt back is an exercise in torture—but when it comes to other people, well, the subtext has to be delivered with a sledgehammer. “But he’s so—I mean, no offense, but he’s so spindly.”

“Your fellow Tuliyollans don’t think so,” Rita growls. (Technically untrue; spindly is certainly an accurate description next to a Xbr’aal or a Hanuhanu or even most Mamool Ja, and she and Avery and the twins have gotten a lot of extra portions foisted on them by locals who think they need to eat more. But that’s not the part she’s complaining about.)

They’re sitting at a little table outside Aunt Tii’s, drinks in hand. Avery’s in line—it is a long line—to fetch them lunch. It’s an Ishgardian thing, Rita had explained, and then Wuk Lamat had asked her what Ishgard was like and that conversation had lasted them until Avery was three people away from the counter and Rita had looked up to see a Tonawawtan woman leaning over from behind Avery to put her hand on his arm, gazing softly up at him and asking something about where he was from, he was so tall...

Rita sets her piña colada down, takes a deep breath, and adjusts her bra straps.

“Oh no,” Wuk Lamat says.

Her ears are pinned back, but only the Xbr’aal here will know what that means. She rises from her seat like the tide. “I’m not gonna hurt anyone,” she says evenly.

She doesn’t have to. No, instead she saunters over to where Avery is, setting each foot in front of the other in a way she knows emphasizes the curve of her hips. It’s immensely gratifying to watch Avery turn to watch her, a smile tugging at his lips, but that’s not why she’s doing it. No, she leans against him, draped against his side with his hand coming to rest on her waist, and says, “Love, refresh my memory. Did I order th’ shrimp tacos?”

Avery blinks at her. She knows what he’s probably thinking—that she rarely forgets anything, not least because she writes everything down. “You did; why?”

She shrugs. “Wanted to make sure. The table next to ours had some and they look incredible. Think we can get extra salsa?”

He peers over the tops of his glasses, doing that little squint he does when something is at the exact wrong distance for his farsighted gaze and yet too far for the glasses to help. “Aunt Tii seems not to have run out yet.”

She grins, sharp and not aimed at him. The Tonawawtan woman has shrunk back, red-faced, and Rita spares a moment to flick her the coldest glance she can. Back off, her eyes say. He’s mine.

Her mouth, on the other hand, says, “Grand! Extra salsa for me, then. Th’ mild stuff, I don’t wanna accidentally kill you.”

Avery’s ears turn red. “I am perfectly capable of handling spice—”

She grins up at him, twining a lock of his hair around her finger. “I know. But we can’t cheer Wuk Lamat at her coronation if your mouth’s on fire.”

They order the mild salsa. By the time they’ve got their tacos, everyone trying bites of everyone else’s—Wuk Lamat’s pulled xibruq is the clear winner—Rita’s almost entirely forgotten having to stake her claim.

She does sit a little closer to Avery than she normally does, though. Just in case.

[klingershat]

I'm SURE this has been done before but... House MD fanfic w a MASH au??

Hmm. So obviously House would be our Hawkeye. We all know House would absolutely utilize his injury to avoid doing something he doesn't want to. So, if we wanted to make this interesting-- what if he instead fakes being totally fine at his draft physical so they'll send him. When he arrives at his MASH unit, he's using a cane and everything. He's convinced everyone that he's such a good doctor, they sent him to war with a bum leg anyway. Only Cuddy initially clocks that that's absolutely not true. Why does he want to go to Korea? Because he wants to help. He would never tell anyone this, but House does really care about his patients. Maybe he's in a low place and impulsively decides to go to Korea. I think his addiction would be morphine? I tried looking up what opiates were used in the early 50's and that's my best guess.

That makes Wilson our BJ! And yeah, sorry, he's a BJ. I think Hawkeye and BJ's relationship bears a lot of resemblance to House and Wilson's-- notably, that it's painful. "I am pure of heart and insane and you are deceptively selfish but 'a nice guy' and we are best friends and we love each other and we hate each other." Etc etc. Wilson is already in a sore spot in his marriage when he gets drafted to go to Korea. He very much seems like the "family man" type, but he's either misremembering the marriage or convinced that the war puts a pause on all of its problems. And he's convincing. He doesn't look twice at any of the nurses, doesn't cheat on his wife with them. While he's cordial and pleasant, he initially tries keeping most people at arms length. But he can't help but get wrapped up in whatever House is up to, and it's maybe a bit like how BJ slowly changes the longer he's around.

I don't think women were CO'S but I don't think we really have any choice but to make Cuddy the CO. It's a MASH au. It'll live. She doesn't typically have a high tolerance for subordinate bullshit but House is clearly the reason why their recovery numbers are so high, so she's begrudgingly lenient with him.

I could see Cameron being kind of similar to houlihan, in that she is capable of such immense compassion. Cameron is noticably softer than her coworkers. She gets emotionally involved, etc. House continually tells her that she needs to toughen up because this is war, but that also means that she's incredibly supportive when it's been 24 hours of surgery and everything is kind of falling apart.

Maybe I'll add to this later but it was just smthn I was thinking about. I am by no means a House MD or MASH scholar, so feel free to add or correct me if I'm wrong.

[calamari-minecraft-corner]

In the dnd au, how did the whole.... Well you listed Eret and George both as rulers(which I want to know more about because in canon they aren't king at the same time and there's a whole power struggle with that), and also you said all the rulers know what's going with Dream, I'm assuming George and Dream were close friends at some point since from what you've said the canon plot seems fairly intact just in dnd so how does George feel about it all

Hope these questions made some amount of sense :)

Oh dnd!eret and george my beloveds my absolute beloved (I really love them in this au)

-

So for the dnd au I had to modify some things (that’s why some things feel different but also the basics of what happened are the same) so for this au, The Kinoko Kingdom is actually originally the ‘first’ Kingdom in the continent. It was originally shrouded by the feywild and didn’t show itself until Philza’s kingdom (at the time named Emerald’s Crow) was formed. Philza ruled for a long time before he left but George was the king of that at some point when it happened— I’m too tired to do math but George is a wood elf in this au so he’s older than Dream by a small bit :3 so George originally ruled the feywild and that area as the other kingdoms slowly formed.

Meanwhile Eret’s Kingdom is the newest one to be formed! It was formed before Philza left so they had rocky footing, and Eret being also an elf (I forgot which subrace but I wanna say star elf) needed help— so he formed very strong alliances with L’Manberg right after Wilbur was reigned king and Kinoko, due to Dream’s influence.

Now Dream has a big part in this because Eret does value Wilbur and his alliance/friendship, but Dream was persuading him to go to a different direction and basically betray him all in the name of wanting to protect the kingdom she loved and cared about, so Eret believed him!

And the betrayal happened and things went- wrong really.

Mainly Eret feeling guilty because yeah she finally got her kingdom feeling safe but not feeling right about it, and there was an intense conversation between her and Dream which resulted in her being overthrown and Kinoko Kingdom expanding and taking over Eret’s Kingdom which EVERYONE immediately was on high alert for and realized this was a problem bc George basically overthroned her.

And eventually Eret had to have an audience with Wilbur where she miraculously didn’t executed right then and there and Wilbur helped (along with all the other kingdoms) to reclaim her kingdom back as long as she changed the name and swore under oath that she is to never do something in similar vein like that that can end up risking the whole continent as well as to stop supporting the other kingdom— so she agreed.

So Eret’s Kingdom is now called Withering Hope! And that oath she made plays a big part since Cala well- basically is doing something that breaks it and she is close to Eret.

And Queen Eret and George don’t interact unless Royal meetings where the monarchs have to convene and those are.. rough.

-

As for the second part of the ask, oh yes absolutely. Dream and George were very close (like close) but Dream unfortunately never took it romantically with George, for a number of reasons. Mainly because he knew that if he did, it would make Dream have a weakness and even though he genuinely loved and cared about his King he couldn’t ever admit those feelings. So that’s why he was with Fundy since he solely sought it as beneficial (but then he realized he actually liked him too and then things got messy quick).

But anyways! Only the monarchs and their close ones know about Dream being in the prison- no one knows he’s been tortured obviously they just think he’s contained. And George- is conflicted.

Because on one hand Dream at the end kinda had an argument with him and Sapnap and they both realized that he wasn’t helping the kingdom but helping for his own selfish needs- and that broke George’s trust immensely.

The other hand… he can’t help but to worry for his friend.

But he doesn’t visit or even ask about him, he knows that it’s a door long closed now and he moves on… *gestures to DreamXD who is literally one of the gods in the au*

He honestly didn’t expect Dream to escape until he heard the news because when Dream escaped Q alerted the monarchs specifically and requested basically an emergency private meeting with all of them.

And George has a whirlwind of feelings on that- he’s scared, angry.. hopeful?

He’s just a confused mess ok this because the relationship is too damaged to be fixed so he has to act like well.. a king and be cordial.

But Sapnap doesn’t!

[toogayforthisbullshit]

It was a shock. The dragon always chose those who would become some of the most successful mages in the world. I didn't think I would become anything great. And now I would have to become a disappointment to the dragon too? Or perhaps it's because I'm stupid. I had hoped to disappear into the dark once school finished. Spose that was too much to ask for.

The first lesson was hard. I can't do half the stuff the dragon asked of me. And when I could it always went backwards. Summon light? It was lightning. The forest needed a whole squad to come down to fix it. Make something teleport? I made it vanish. Completely. It just ceased to exist. I had asked why over and over why I was picked. But the dragon just never responded. Instead just giving more commands. This was going to be a long semester.

By lesson five I was over it. This whole bullshit tutor thing was doing absolutely nothing for me. I'm still absolutely shit at doing anything. I can't summon or make things. I just can't. And whatever I can do always, always turns backwards. The same as lesson one. I am done with this bull crap. I am not doing this again. Ever.

I skipped lessons six and seven. Today I am now back for lesson eight. The dragon hunted me down and forced me to sit. I think even she's frustrated with me. Or maybe I'm just saying that since the dragon has never said a word about my lack of progress. I should stop even going to this school. I'm being bullied now about being chosen yet still sucking at everything. Maybe I can convince my moms to pull me out. I doubt it though.

Lesson sixteen went by as per usual. No change. At all. Only my fuck ups are getting worse. Perhaps I'm the issue here. Actually why is that the last thing I can come up with? Obviously I'm the issue. My moms refused to pull me out. Saying that I'm fine and if the bullies try shit again I can just fight back. Only they disagreed there and fought over whether it be physical or verbal. I left the two after that. The dragon has now spoken to my moms too. Not sure what about since I supposedly wasn't allowed to listen. This sucks.

Lesson thirty two I actually made progress. I think at least. I was asked to make a cloud. And I did it. It was a storm cloud and it rained immensely after wich cut the lesson short but I did it. Maybe I can do this. I can do this. Maybe. It's still pouring outside. And I'm in a closet because one of the boys in my normal class tried to cast fireball on me and I had to run to escape him. It's dark in here.

Lesson fifty was an hour ago. The dragon seems pleased by the little progress I've made. Thus far I've always overdone the spells I can cast. The dragon says she now knows how to properly help me. Apparently these last fifty lessons have been trials to see if I actually am what I am. I don't know what I am. So this is stupid.

I'm not a mage. I'm a fucking sorcerer. This is why I've struggled. I'm doing this shit wrong. The dragon chose me because of this. I've been transferred to the sorcerer's track and am now one of the most successful students there! No more bullies. My lessons with the dragon continue but I'm now a lot better. Alot alot better.

My final lesson was today. It was a bit silly. The dragon only said one sentence before I graduated and stopped being her student. It was silly actually. Just a stupid sentence about being in the wrong environment and learning the way I can't doesn't make me less than others. But still. I'll hold the words close.

Every 500 years, the dragon who founded the Academy arrives to choose a student to tutor directly. You are the weakest mage on record and she has chosen you.

[asoulofatlantis]

Well it wouldn't be the first in certainly won't be the last time ^^'

Always with the long-haired wig...

These soldiers are always playing dirty. No Erebonian Army-Man with pride would do something like that. Heck, I think even most of our Erebonian Jeager wouldn't do something like that. We do like to win "fair and square" in Erebonia. Or... at least we usually do not take any hostages to get what we want - stealing princes to activate Testa Rossa aside, but Duke Cayenne was certainly not a Military-Man and he did not use him as a hostage so that doesn't even count! *achem*

Seriously tho... you can say what you want about Erebonia and their army, but their pride is certainly unmachted.

Schera! I have been wondering when you would finally show up.

Now would you look at that, she brought her future husband along. How convenient XD (No complaints from me, that's for sure, but its somewhat hilarious to witness all that with the knowledge of the future ^^')

Uh... what have you two been up to? I thought you went drinking. That sounds like Schera had a late night snake after the drinks tho ^^'

Uh... close enough, I guess XD

Also: I would have NEVER found that spot without a god Walkthrough. The map was hilarious like... I had no idea were my starting point was or the marker that Zin said was there ^^'

I absolutely agree. Without Estelles S-Craft I would have been done for.

EXCUSE ME?'! Kill him girls! (Joking, I am joking... mostly...)

Uff! This guy was a nightmare to deal with...

I... uh... guess that Agate has never seen the Queen before? ^^'

Well it certainly did not. People on Twitter YouTube and Reddit mention it all the time how this looks like Steam-Punkt, while Crossbell is already immensely modern with and Erebonias follows up with its (until then...) state of the art Panzer Soldats and after that we have Calvard who probably just a huge chunk of the preparation money the got from Erebonia to build a rocketship AND not to forget the things Marduk seems to be capable off.

Sadly... as soon as a country arc is over it seems its loosing almost all of its power and advantages. Liberl at this point in the game is only superior in one thing: Airships. And that was almost taken over by Erebonia too. So... I can kind of understand his sentiment here. Liberl is quite the lost cause between those powerhouses that are Calvard and Erebonia and while Crossbell does lack in size and military power, it certainly makes up for it when it comes to its economical position and the advantages that come with that. Its not just that. We start out with Liberl as one of the countries were the whole Bracer business works out the best, given how Erebonia needed Militäry-Student for help and Crossbell needed the Special Suppor Section to handle things despite the Bracers. However, even tho I wouldn't say that Calvards overall Bracers are better than Liberls, their whole system seems to function entirely better. And no one seems to think to get people like the Brights or Agate for help, when Calvard is in need of more bracers. Instead, we get a newbie from the Enemy-Country. I guess that says A LOT about the fact that even the Bracers of Liberl do not seem to be superior anymore to them in any other countries. So Liberl is... basically a lost cause and I think Richard saw that coming and although misguided, he only wanted the best for his country and its future. That is at least something someone can understand, despite the fact that he obviously did absolutely EVERYTHING wrong in his try to give his country a chance in the future.

I thought I was relatively prepared thanks to the new game plus... but this is ridiculous. Loewe was already hard. Richard was certainly anything but a walk in the Park either and now this thing. I think I've fought enough for one freaking damn day.

URG! This is bad and no fun at all. This fight is far too hard for my liking. And I likely brought the wrong people with me so... T.T

I couldn't agree more...

Look who had a last-minute change of heart...

And here he is the biggest, fattest gloryhound in the whole Trails-Saga - and if I as a Rean fan dare to say that, than trust me, it is true...

Estelle might not know much about her father oh so heroic past but trust me, she does know her father very well...