#sometimes with fights i lose attention because they can run into a problem of same formula attack cast spell etc

[darth-does-stuff]

wh. what the fuck did i just watch.

[gatitties]

Hi🤗♡.

Can I request teen!fem Reader with the (strawhat pirates & kid pirates & heart pirates)( the older version of them please in there 40 or 60).

The Reader got hurt very badly and she was in coma for month.

But of course everything was fine when the Reader wakes up and everyone is happy♡.

P.s : take your time okay :) .

─Strawhats, Kid Pirates & Heart Pirates x teen!reader (platonic)

─Summary: A life-threatening attack hits you and everyone is worried about your condition

─Warnings: the characters are older, like in those 40/60 year old drawings (reference)

─ You are the little light of the group, being the youngest everyone was always watching you in battle, they had full faith in your abilities, but they would not stop being worried.

─ But you're not always in a completely accessible place, the others also have their own fights at the same time so the world seems to stop when the sound of your body hitting the ground catches Nami's attention. "Oh- No- no- my god, Chopper!"

─ Usopp, who was the one who had only been running and launching light attacks, was the first to approach your body, noticing a large pool of blood around you and a big blow on your head, he turned pale when he saw you.

─ He easily carried you in his arms and took you to a less dangerous place while Chopper rushed to finish off his own opponent, he was with you in just a couple of minutes, he could be older, but he won't stop losing his nerve when he has than treating a loved one, "A doctor! We need a doctor right away!" "You're the doctor?!" "Oh right!"

─ While the others finish as quickly as possible to know if you are okay, you are treated emergency, managing to stop the bleeding and stabilizing your vital signs.

─ The problem was that you spent one day sleeping, two, three… and it became the longest week for the entire crew.

─ Everyone was impatient and uneasy, they would not forgive themselves if something happened to you, they knew that you would wake up sooner or later, they would just wait for you.

─ Chopper checks on you daily, Sanji puts a glass of fresh water on the nightstand every day in case you wake up and no one is there at that moment, Luffy and Usopp will sit down to play any board game to keep you company, Zoro will take some occasional nap on the floor (chopper puts some pillows and blankets there because age doesn't forgive back pain), Nami and Robin will talk to you as if you were gossiping with them on a normal day, Brook will sing something at night so that in your sleep better, Jinbe and Franky stop by from time to time to see if you're awake.

─ Everyone's spirits fade when the second week passes with no indication that you will wake up and they think the worst, however they cling to the fact that your condition is stable, you are healthy and you are much younger than them.

─ A month later, Luffy had fallen asleep resting his hand on your shoulder, he didn't give you time to open your eyes and you already had your captain hugging you. "Hey, it's been a while, I don't even sleep that much after a good meal!"

─ You laughed confused because you obviously didn't know how long you had been out, and it didn't take long for the others to find out, you were surrounded in a big hug although Chopper scolded everyone because he still had to do one last check before letting you walk freely.

─ This team fights with everything it has and you were not going to be less, although much younger, you were much more energetic than that whole group of old men, as you affectionately nicknamed them since they sometimes called you kiddo or child.

─ The problem is that sometimes you were somewhat impulsive, and that's why you attacked too quickly. Kid smiled, seeing himself reflected in your recklessness, although he scolded you. "Don't get ahead, these guys aren't as weak as they seem."

─ You turned a deaf ear since you had advanced well in the attack, but in an instant everything had gone black for you, a fatal blow to the abdomen left you completely out of combat.

─ "Oh fuck, the kiddo is hurt, shit- like, really screwed up, needs medical attention right away!" Heat is the one closest to you and the one in charge of protecting you until the bloodbath ends, which they do more quickly.

─ Killer knows that you won't wake up today because when they sewed the wound you didn't wake up because of the pain, he knew that you were very complaining about pain of any kind despite being a teenager.

─ The tension grows as the days go by, uncertainty because you don't wake up to joke that you've knocked down more guys, they are mentally torturing themselves even though they don't let it be seen.

─ Wire will talk to you to tell you all the gossip you miss, Killer will stop by every morning before starting the day hoping to see that you are standing, Heat will sleep next to you some days and Kid will not visit as often because he is venting his discomfort in his workshop.

─ Kid has been in a worse mood the last few weeks because you were the person with the smallest hands and he needed your help with some screws that were too small, which delayed his project, he missed your annoying little presence making jokes about his old age .

─ Killer had full faith that you would wake up sooner or later because they had treated you on time, it just made him nervous not knowing when it would be, "I will make your favorite food if you wake up today…" he always said in the hope that the food would open your eyes.

─ A month later when everyone got used to the lack of a gremlin running from one place to another (they didn't get used to it, that's what they want to think), you woke up, there was no one there at that moment so you got rid of all the cables, feeling good.

─ "Hey child- holy shit! you're awake, hey- what are you doing up?! You need to get checked before you walk around again" "I'm fresh as a lettuce captain! I can't say the same for you… but uh-" "I'm glad to see you're okay." He put his only arm over your shoulder and squeezed you like in a wrestling hold, roughly rubbing your head.

─ They used you as an excuse to have a party, although you didn't care much because you also celebrated and ate your favorite food.

─ Law was going to kill Shachi and Penguin because you got hurt on a mission with them, you took several hits, which exhausted you, and what you thought would be a nap back on the submarine ended up being something worse.

─ They tried to keep you awake while they used what Law had taught them about minimal care, but you couldn't continue.

─ They didn't even set foot in the submarine and you were already in a bed in the infirmary, the smell of blood gave away your condition, "I want a report on what happened and the area of the body that was most beaten, we will talk about your punishment later", both swallowed, knowing that their captain did not like to see his comrades injured but above all, to see someone with so much life ahead of them injured.

─ You are treated immediately and quickly, Law knows that you will not wake up for at least a week due to the blows and your condition, but you would get out of this, that does not prevent him from feeling an emptiness in the pit of his stomach.

─ Bepo will be in your room most of the time, reading out loud so that according to him, you wouldn't get bored in your dreams, Shachi and Penguin got some free time (because they were forced to clean the entire submarine until it shined) to apologize to you.

─ Ikakku stopped by from time to time to check your vital signs and tell you some things that had been happening.

─ Even though they knew you would wake up, not knowing when the moment would be made the entire crew impatient, although Law detected some changes in your condition after a month, he knew when you would finally open your eyes, which reassured him.

─ "What the hell…?" You mumbled when you woke up seeing that your arms and legs were tied, "I'm glad to see you awake" "How are you glad if I'm tied to a bed? Oh don't tell me, have you finally lost your mind and going to dissect me?" He sighed "Security, I knew you were going to get up as soon as you woke up and I want to do one last check" "Sure…"

─ Everyone found out later because you started screaming as if you were being tortured just because had to supply something with a syringe, at least you prolonged your hug with Bepo because of that.

─ Shachi and Penguin apologized to you again, but you downplayed it, right now what mattered most to you was having a good meal, you were hungry and Ikkaku had the solution to all your problems.

[werecreature-addicted]

🥲 i cant stop thinking abt reducing a werewolf who’s in heat to a begging mess. like listen he js wants to fuck you and you won’t let him?? but he’s been such a good boy?? he’d start whining and whimpering like a puppy. ears laid back, he’s so desperate for you. so you agree to let him fuck you on one condition : he has to use his muzzle. last time he got a little bit too excited and started biting a little too hard. so now he has two options, he gets to fuck you with a muzzle on, or he doesn’t get anything at all.

he thinks it’s not fair that he doesn’t get to mark you. but eventually he accepts your conditions, but he’s whining about how it’s not gonna be the same. while he’s fucking you, poor baby is panting and drooling all over himself, begging you to take it off, he needs to mark you. you manage to remind him that greedy boys don’t get anything and he just starts going faster, to the point where none of you is able to form a coherent sentence. his mind is hazy, but he takes a mental note to get rid of that damn muzzle.

Listen listen listen. Your werewolf is torn, he never wants to hurt you and is absolutely destroyed that he went too far and hurt you the last time you two had sex. It’s all of his worst fears come true! He really is nothing but a monster driven by instincts telling him to chase carnal pleasures. He thought he meant it when he promised he’d never hurt you. Every time he looks at the heald mark on your neck it makes his stomach turn. He’s so worried you’ll leave him over this…that he’ll lose his mate because he couldn’t control himself.  He needs to be coaxed into even touching you again. Sex is almost completely off the table…almost. 

He’s still human- well he’s not but you know what I mean. He still has desires. Your touch still sends jolts of electricity down his spine, your smell alone is still enough to get him hot. He tries his best to satiate his needs with just kissing and dry humping. Although. It’s hard to enjoy anything when he’s fighting against his animalistic urges telling him to just mount you already. You like rough sex, you like how big and sometimes scary he can be, so what’s the problem? Marking feels good- at least for him, it does. And wouldn’t you want to make your wolf feel good? And who cares if you’re scared of his monstrous side? It’s not like you can run from him, you both know he could track you down where ever you ran off to.

Those monstrous thoughts scared him a little bit. He didn’t want to hurt you, but he also knew he needed to keep you as his, he wondered which one of those desires would come out on top if push came to shove. 

It doesn’t take long for his more carnal desires to win out. He’s begging for his attention and pleading for you to let him have you again. It’s been almost two full weeks since the incident and he’s pretty sure people can die from going that long without sex. He’ll do anything- and he’ll promise anything if you just let him have you. You don’t even need to do anything he’ll do all the work- he’s strong enough to use you like a Fleshlight you both know that

This is where you bring up the muzzle. It’s special. Made for werewolves so they can’t escape even with their strength. He agrees immediately! Then regrets it… again he’s torn. This is good… he can’t hurt you this way but god he hates this fucking muzzle. He can’t even kiss you like this, don’t you see how cruel this is? It’s just his nature. It’s like asking him to go Vegan. 

He knows that you’ll soil him with kisses once he’s calm again. Hell, he knows that you’ll probably let him bite you if he’s careful- but all those thoughts are background noise as he listens to you whine and moan. You take his cock so well- you take his teeth even better. He loves you with all his heart and werewolves show love by biting. 

He snarls to himself and gnashes his teeth behind the cage you put him in. he watches a bead of sweat drip down your neck and he mashes the grate against your skin and struggles to lick you. The muzzle digs in his face as he pushes its limits but he doesn’t care, he manages to lick the sweat from your skin and he shudders in pleasure. 

Once he does calm down you let him out of the muzzle and kiss him senseless. He feels better… he didn’t hurt you this time at least. But part of him wants to throw out that stupid cage.

[reareaotaku]

Jealous/Yandere! Stanley Barber Headcanons

He hates the feeling so much

Like, he's happy that you're happy, but he wishes you were happy with him

He's used to the depressing feeling, but that doesn't mean he likes you

He just watches you, feeling like shit

He knows you don't owe him anything, but god he loves you so much

Why don't you see it? Are you playing with his feelings?

It sure feels that way

He'll do anything for you. Practically drops everything for you, but sometimes he feels like you wouldn't do the same

He listens to all of your problems and rants. He doesn't mind. In fact, he loves to listen to you talk

He loves laying in bed, feeling your body close to his as you rant about something stupid/ whatever it is you want to talk about

He gives you this loving look and has this stupid smile on his face

You occupy every part of his mind

He gets really giddy around you and he can't help wanting to do whatever it is to make you happy/smile

Loves doing karoke/singing with you

It doesn't matter if you sing terribly. He doesn't care, he still loves hearing it

You never have to be embarrassed around you, because he's definitely more embarrassed

Like, say someone embarrassed you in class or you got called on without knowing the answer [You get the gist], he'll take attention off of you by doing something stupid so that people will laugh at him instead of you

He doesn't get it when you have insecurities, because he loves you so much it hurts his heart

What do you mean you don't like your body? He thinks you're the hottest thing on the planet

Don't like the way you talk?? He can listen to you all day [etc etc]

If you ever have an argument with your parent[s], then you can always rant to him about it

Even if you're in the wrong, he's on your side and adamantly defending you

You can say that the grass is blue and he'll be like 'Yeah, looks pretty blue to me'

But, back to the parent thing, he doesn't have a good relationship with his dad, so he completely understands fighting with a parent

He really wants to ask you out, but he's scared that you'll not only reject him, but it'll ruin your friendship. He'd rather die than lose your friendship

He's pretty in denial about his feelings. Like he knows he's in love with you, but if someone calls him out on it, he rolls his eyes while shaking his head, adamantly denying it, but nobodies buying it [Expect you]

"You don't like me?" You'll ask, trying not to cry

Something inside him breaks when seeing you tear up. He doesn't want you to cry- Especially if HE's the reason you're crying

"Of course I like you!"

"Then why did you laugh and roll your eyes?"

He's at a loss for words. What is he supposed to say? 'Oh, yes Y/n. I am so in love with you that I would throw my whole life away and run across the country and start a new life with you if you asked because I love you more than the need to breath'. No, he can't say that. He'll just tell you it's complicated

[relatableblorbopoll]

Round 1 of preliminaries, group 16

The first two places get a place on the bracket

Little reminder: there will be 2 more rounds of preliminaries, the losing blorbos of this poll still have 2 chances of getting in the official bracket

Propaganda under the cut

Parker (Leverage)

"Some of the weird things she says are so true. Like when she talks about past/present/future parker. Her joy at the things that she loves is so complete. Christmas every year! I too have the urge to stab people with forks when in uncomfortable social situations. And it was great when she made her security code to her…home…Sophie’s real name because it was representative of where trust stood in the team after the prison break. Oh! And her and Alec are total couple goals. (Thruple goals if you add in Elliot)"

Gudetama (Sanrio)

"A lazy egg who really doesn't want to do much of anything and would rather just go back to sleep"

Finn the Human (Adventure Time)

"finn is just a little guy doing his best and trying to help people! he's the only human in the show so he's just like us fr (the entire human race) and he starts off the series as a kid and grows up during it so he really goes through all the relatable ups and downs and friendships and relationships and mistakes and achievements that we all go through. he does a lot of idolising people and having to realise they're not what he told himself they were. sometimes he tries to distract himself from an existential crisis by running around yelling or stabbing things with a sword. relatable"

Rain O'Fire Frazier (Worm)

"Rain grew up in a conservative community that he didn't want to be part of, and rejected their regressive ideology in favor of surrounding himself with people who have gender vibes, mental health issues, and traumas of their own. Also, people give him all sorts of crap in the setting, and while he does fuck up sometimes, he's just a swell dude who's hoping to not get murdered by crazy people. Times being what they are, I think that that's something a lot of people can relate to."

Piper Mclean (Heroes of the Olympus)

"she's SO full of love!!! she loves everyone so strongly!! she has a complicated relationship with femininity, gender and beauty standards. she bullies her friends but would go down fighting for them if needed. she acts out to get her dad's attention. she believes in a balance between emotions and logic, and is not afraid to tell her friends if she thinks they're neglecting the emotional side of a problem."

Norma Khan (Dead End Paranormal Park)

"She is autistic and struggles with socialising (same) She has special interests that she will bring up at any opportunity. She can get overwhelemed and scared being in the world. Norma is also bisexual! She spends her time in a Pauline Phoneix theme park (one of her spins) and fighting demons and ghosts (another special interest). Vote Norma today!!"

"She goes through so many relatable experiences that I rarely see depicted and is just overall an excellent character. The third episode of the show has the most relatable depiction of anxiety I've ever seen (especially the intersection between social anxiety and autistic sensory overload). It's one of those episodes where each character has to face their worst fears, and with how those episodes usually go, I expected her to overcome her fears at the end of the episode and just not have them anymore. Instead, she overloads the villain by having too much fear for him to handle since she has to constantly face her greatest fears as part of her everyday life. The protagonist also acknowledges how much more severe her fear is compared to most other people, which is pretty validating. Her special interest is an actress who turns out to be a really shady person, and she has a lot of trouble processing this because it was so close to her heart. She even gets a musical number about it! I've never seen this particular experience depicted in fiction, but it's one that is sadly pretty relatable to me and probably a lot of other people on here. She also has a plot where she is rejected romantically by a straight friend, which is kinda nice to see (even if it's not nice for poor Norma) since even though this is a really common experience IRL I rarely see it explored in fiction. And she's just really funny and smart and a great character in general!"

[hecksupremechips]

In my opinion, everyone in sees is autistic or some flavor of neurodivergent and I have organized my specific headcanons 😈

Kotone: the kind of autistic who was a “problem child”. She didn’t have any friends and would get into fights after her parents passed. She also has a short attention span and has trouble reading the room sometimes and will say things that maybe aren’t appropriate for a specific situation. And she has poor volume control when she’s excited, but will be very quiet in an unfamiliar environment. She wears headphones to avoid sensory overload and she’s very bouncy and always tapping or fidgeting with something

Junpei: the kind that does poorly in school due to short attention span and disinterest. He loses his homework all the time and was the kinda kid who could never sit still, always just getting up and walking around lol. He’s been yelled at by every adult in his life for being lazy and a failure and it sticks with him. Thinks the only way people can care about him is if he’s funny

Yukari: I think I have the least to say about her being autistic cuz im not sure if that’s really the root of her neurodivergence, but she has the energy of someone who’s always had to mask her whole life and then gets frustrated when there’s someone who doesn’t mask as much and they aren’t as ashamed about their behavior as she is. She struggles internally with unlearning that ableism and does try very hard to not let it show because she doesn’t want to be like the people that have made her feel like shit, but sometimes it slips out. It does make her very good at spotting others’ struggles with neurodivergence and she’s very defensive over others, but isn’t always good at treating herself the same way

Akihiko: literally so autistic coded I can’t believe it’s not even canon lol. He’s very smart but bad with social awareness and tends to take things very literally, like the way he defines strength is very literal physical strength. He has a special interest in sports and exercise and will infodump while happy as a clam. He’s got a short attention span and is just constantly running all over the place like this guy cannot sit still and when he likes someone and wants to be closer to them he just shows off all the shit he can do. He’s very very very emotionally repressed and has trouble understanding why others aren’t as good as repressing as he is (he doesn’t get why Shinji’s unable to “move on” from what happened to him, or why Ken would need the others to go looking for him after 10/4). Also he’s just awful at understanding his own feelings and what they mean and he’s ashamed of how easily he cries which is very real lol. I also just for fun hc that Miki was nonverbal autistic and her traits were just a lot more visible and she had more frequent meltdowns and never was able to receive any proper accommodations. She didn’t have any friends except for her brother and then eventually Shinji. I’d say that even if she didn’t have a proper diagnosis like, everyone knew she was autistic. I think because Akihiko is just so focused on being there for her he doesn’t really pay attention to his own traits until he’s older and thinks about it more and is like HUH WAIT. This then creates a spiral where everyone else becomes Aware of their own autism it’s an absolute catastrophe akdjsk

Mitsuru: ohhhh she masks so fucking hard she’s absolutely the type who literally has never let herself do anything that she wants, it’s all just whatever will make the adults in her life happy. And so she’s gonna have a massive identity crisis when she realizes she has no clue who she is because she’s never allowed herself to exist as a human and not a machine. She’s also got massive gifted kid burnout that’s gonna hit her like a truck at the same time unfortunately 😭. And in general she’s not very good at understanding her peers and has always gotten praised for being “mature for her age” and she’s also not the best at knowing when she’s being taken advantage of. And I don’t think she likes physical contact much please do not hug her she will hate it. Also burger becomes her same food

Fuuka: another one that’s just like oh my god how is this not canon. I think Fuuka is the only person in sees who’s gotten a proper diagnosis, but it happened when she was really young and her parents kept it a secret and ignored it. She’s always been horribly bullied for being gullible and weird and she gets taken advantage of easily. She’s desperate for validation. She’s very smart and passionate about what she loves but feels ashamed about her interests being strange. She’s deeply insecure that because she’s got more limits that she’s being useless to everyone around her. She hates loud noises hates fighting hates yelling and is the type who has frequent meltdowns. She likes to live in her own little world but is also lonely and doesn’t want anyone else to feel as lonely as she has. And i uh, am 100% projecting here but shes not good at eye contact and is always looking at the ground, she moves her arms a lot when she speaks, and she kinda walks weird like she waddles from side to side a bit

Aigis: I mean, she’s a robot so I’m not gonna say anything but also I mean she’s a robot desperately trying to understand humans and emotions so she’s an autistic icon 😩

Ken: I firmly believe Ken would be the type to have like a fursona and make like Sonic ocs and be into neopets absolutely. He knows all the fnaf lore and will be discussing it at the dinner table. He’s gullible but trying his best. He has trouble connecting with his peers. Hes “mature for his age”. He’s absolutely the type to get super bored whenever theres like a romantic subplot or some sort of character exploration subplot in one of his favorite shows he doesn’t understand why they aren’t FIGHTING that’s the BEST PART. It is much easier for him to do something if his special interests are involved he does well in school so that Naruto can be proud of him

Shinji: was a “problem child” he is very smart but sucks at school because he could never understand it and just the whole structure of everything never clicked with him and he’s always been told he’s a failure. He’s very quiet and has “scary” eyes so he was probably called a school shooter by his peers just because of that. He has difficulty with words and expressing himself. He gets along better with animals than he does people. He likes to make himself big to be threatening but whenever he’s in a situation where he actually needs to be social he freezes up and makes himself as small as he possibly can. He is essentially a cat lol. He has a lot of trouble managing his emotions and is the type to have meltdowns where he’s angry and is at risk of hurting himself or others. He wears the same clothes all the time. He has trouble with executive dysfunction and it’s hard for him to keep up with his hygiene. This is just a stupid thing but I love to imagine him as a secret warriors cat kid lol. And I also think he has bpd but that’s for another day

[lacewise]

Through the horror of seeing people put a target my friends and family and knowing I could be next, onward! To

Part 4: Tacking down threads!

(So they don’t fall apart!)

(In grounds lace!)

I’ll be dealing with the ground laces first in this one, because there are two (2) different ways to work aemilia ars.

Okay so the biggest thing any guide for true needle lace will tell you is to fold a thread in half and place the first tacking stitch exactly where the fold in the thread is. This is for a very important reason!!!!

It’s so when you finish tacking down the threads, you can lock the leftover threads into the existing threads. That keeps the pattern together.

I highly recommend buying a book or going to a class to get this next part explained, but: you take one of the two halves of the thread you are working with and put it under and over (ie through the space in) the folded thread, then back up the last stitches. The other thread is put through somewhere (in a more complex pattern, it’s just hidden away from where it’s stitched down where there’s room, in simpler patterns I think it’s tucked into the original folded thread without travelling through, back, or around).

If you don’t lock it, it WILL come apart when you remove it. I’ve done a fix for this before and it’s a nightmare. It’s the same type of fix as tatting but Worse. You have to remember to lock it at every edge and every new part of the motif. If you run out of thread, that’s no problem, you just lock the old and the new.

Every tacking stitch is supposed to be approximately 3 mm apart (and that’s important for later) (unless you have a sharp corner, then you’re supposed to place an extra stitch right at the angle). I saw a hack on Pinterest where you put sharpie 3 mm apart on your finger so you have a reference while you’re sewing. It works great, with one caveat: ONLY do it with absolutely waterproof marker!!! It should not rub off at all or trust me: it will. Onto your work. (This is why a pin vise is recommended for this part, btw.)

The tacking stitches’ tension should be firm but willing to move if you put your needle under it (since you will be doing that frequently!). If you make the stitches too loose, your tension will be a mess. If you make the stitches too tight, you will be fighting against your own sewing. And you will lose. (One time I had to finish my lace after removing it from the backing. Never again.)

Okay, so you’ve tacked down your pattern. What’s next? Yeah this is why you want the stitches 3 mm apart… basically all stitches in the foundational row are supposed to be 3 mm to 6 mm apart (depending on the stitch: grounds are usually 6 mm, almost all other stitches are set 3 mm for the first row, likewise the rows are either 3 mm or 6 mm apart for correct tension, depending on the stitch). Good news! If you’ve only messed up a little and your stitches are a bit wiggly (as they are supposed to be), you can correct most of it. Bad news: if not, you are going to have to vibe it. We’ve all been there! Good luck!

For the stitches themselves, you’re going to want to consult videos or diagrams. A lot. All the time. For a while. I would especially pay attention to diagrams when you’re looking for a tension reference because sometimes people rush samples! (Except for Catherine Barley. All her samples are completely impeccable.)

I’m not really confident covering attaching or joining the thread (yet) but it’s covered in every single book and class.

Once you’re finished and ready to buttonhole over the cordonnet, you will praise or curse your sewing work once again! For a basic cordonnet, you put your thread through your work, fold it over (facing out), and then start buttonholing. It looks best when the stitches are about every 3 mm (yeah). Once you’re done, you tuck the threads in, and carefully cut off the excess. Then you can remove it from your backing and have made lace! I’ve only worked in basic cordonnets so far but Intermediate Technical Instruction, Catherine Barley, and maybe(?) Earnshaw’s book (I will go over that in my review) all have tutorials for more advanced styles.

[kinkycoffeewhore]

O Woe is Me Pt.2

This is part two of my ramble about my internal struggles. 

A friend helped make me aware that I need to start doing things for myself. I’ve not been able to bring myself to just change or create or do anything truly for myself. I’ve always had a motivation. Getting my mental health back in shape? My motivation was to become a happier person for others to be around. To lose weight? Sure, I want to be healthy and happy with my body, but I want to be the person that walks into the room and people think,”Damn, I gotta know her.” I want to be chosen. I want to hear the words, “I could have anyone, but I want you.” Yet, I can’t seem to find it in myself to be selfish and just do something cause I want to. I want external validation. Unfortunately, what I’ve got isn’t enough. I try to be grateful for the life I live, but it’s hard. It’s hard to not want more. It’s hard to not want to be seen. I spent so long running away from attention and now I’m barreling towards it. I want someone to pay attention. 

I think that’s part of why I’m starting this whole blog. To write about my life. To take up space in the world. But also, to have an outlet. I have a tendency to let things just stir in my brain. I also have a tendency to not think things through – or at all. The same friend is able to stop my thought process and give me something to think about – or stop thinking about. I don’t know what it is, but she’s able to just say the right things that knock me upside the head. I usually feel 5 years old again and just sit and listen for a moment when she does her thing. I enjoy the feeling. The ability to just be stopped sometimes. I can get lost in things so easily. 

I’m hoping that something falls into place soon. Cause I can’t take feeling happiness with a side of jealousy when I look at all the good things happening in my friends’s lives. I just want to feel happiness. I just want to not feel alone anymore. I don’t know how to do that. I learned what it means to love myself, but I haven’t figured out how to be alone. I’ll keep fighting, keep thinking, keep trying to figur it out because I’m restless. I want to solve this problem I have. I want to live my life the way I want to.

To end on a happier note, I’m starting to learn and make sense of the Korean language. Hangul is something I’m starting to pick up. I’ve still got a LONG way to go, but it’s bringing me joy that I’m starting an important part of my journey to ending up in South Korea. A part of me is hoping I’ll make it over there in five years. Perferably, I’m able to save up and take a trip there in the next year or so. But we’ll see how the cards play out. 

Kinky out. Peace.

[cloudbxrryy]

“It’s Just A Burning Memory..”

( Demon slayer x depressed!reader )

tw. tramacore , hospitals , mental illnesses , bullying , suicidal behavior , knifes , blood , eating disorder , sex , cursing .

an. The stressful life of a teenage girl will be permanently altered as a note from a hospital enters her life. The note claims the teenage girl is in danger, and that they can help. But what if this hospital is wrong about all helping. Or what if her problem is worse than it appears. How could an ordinary teenage girl be this lucky, or unlucky, depending on the turnout. Either way, the note has been read.

You sigh as the sounds of the loud classmates fill the room, so lou- your cut off by one of your classmates walking up to you and tapping your shoulder aggressively trying to get your attention. “Hey HEY” the sound of the classmates annoying voice filled your ears making you turn to there direction

“Yes..?” You say clearly annoyed

“Your hair is funny looking hehe..” they run off making you want to jump up and tear out there hair viciously. You turn over to see the same students talking about you and smirks at your gaze. You snap jumping out of your seat and grabbing there hair dragging them into the hallway and causing a school fight.

Fight. Fight. FIGHT. Your classmates yell as y’all fight like wild animals you punch them as they kick you in your stomach making you jerk and let go, they kick you down on the ground and stomp your head. BOOM the door flings open as the headmaster runs over to pull them off of you. The sounds of everyone laughing at you fill the hallway.

“Haha how can she start a fight and then lose..”

“What a bitch can’t even fight..”

“Haha..”

You sit there on the ground on the verge of passing out of pain, humiliated you try to get up and walk out the circle but your toe meets someone’s foot and you go face first on the floor making everyone take pictures and record.

“HAHAHA #OMG”

“LIKE WHAT A LOSER”

“#LMAO”

You want them to stop but you can’t even fight making you tear up and run away from all of them. Not looking where you going to bump into a tall red and orange haired boy making him drop all his books and papers.

“Omg I’m so sorry..here let me help you!” You try to help the boy but without saying anything he takes one good look at you and scurries to pick up his books and before you know it he’s running off. “Well dang..I’m I that ugly..” you think to yourself as someone shoves you out the way making to trip and fall.

“Move out the way bitch haha..” sometimes you think to yourself why do you even live on this ugly earth anymore why can’t you just disappear. School ends and you take your bag out the locker. You shut your locker and your face to face with the boy who ran away from you in the hall way

He looks you up and down real quick and tries to run off but you grab his Shoulder just in time before he scurried off like a scared little puppy. He looks at you and yelps and turn around smacking you with his book and running off.

Leaving you there standing looking like a creep. You leave embarrassed trying not to make eye contact with anyone.

4:00 pm

Ding dong the sound of the doorbell fills the air, you walk up to the door opening it up to see a small rather slightly stained envelope with a red stamp marking the tip. You pick up the letter and open the envelope to a slightly stained letter reading..

“Hello y/n you are receiving this letter because you have been chosen to stay at a mental hospital. I know you might not wanna go but we are here to help you get through what ever you going through right now at the moment you are not alone. If your still scared about being admitted to this wonderful place don’t worry when you Arrive here you will make new friends have great food and the staff here is great if you want to join are family please contact us at WonderWood mental hospital where dreams become reality!”

You have so many questions filling your head at the moment so you run up to your moms room just to see here drunk and passed out making you sigh out of disappointment knowing that she won’t be awake for dinner tonight you walk downstairs and sit on the couch and slouch down thinking about your options right now.

I could just admit myself in there I could thinking of at as a vacation from school and. Family you know.. you say to yourself as you stand up and pace around your living room. “Case closed in going I don’t even know why I had to think about it..” you contact the hospital with no hesitation.

“Hello welcome to WonderWood mental hospital Kocho Shinobu speaking how may I service you..?” You gulp out of fear “y-yeah uhm h-how can you admit yourself here..”

“Ohhh your y/n aren’t you..!” You reply with a concerned voice confused as how she knows your name. “Yes..yes I am” the woman sounds a little excited “Ah! Yes yes your already admitted here darling” your shock at a ding there with the phone in your hand “h-how am I already admitted here ma’am” the woman pauses

“I don’t know sweetheart your just in are system for already admitted here..” you paused trying to reply but there’s a knot in your stomach telling you something isn’t right here “Uhm ma-“ your cut off by the sound of knocking on your door “there they are darling can’t wait to meet you” the woman hangs up leaving you standing there terrified.

Knock knock knock the sound of the door knocking fills the room making you open the door. “Uhm hello..?” You observe the people in front of you “Uhm hello are you y/n..” you snap back in reality “y-yes yes I am” they gesture for you to follow them on the ambulance car.

They strap you in the car make sure your comfortable. “Do you want me to sit in the back with you?” One of the workers says while looking you up and down. “No thanks”

You then arrive at the hospital, the hospital looks like your ordinary mental hospital. The workers walk you in to the teenagers wing office. A woman with purple to black ombré hair. “Hi y/n I’m Kocho Shinobu nice to meet you darling” the woman hands her hand out for you to shake it. You look around to see that some kids shaking there heads telling you don’t shake her hand. Listing to the other kids you disregard her gesture.

“Uhm hey shinobu..” she pulls her hand back with a irritated look on her face “I’ll show you to your room darling..” when walking down the hallway to your room you see the same boy from your school who smacked you with the book, you see that he saw you too making him look away with a scared look.

“Here’s your room make yourself at home..” shinobu walks away leaving you with a stranger . The boy turns around and looks you up and down. You analyze the boy, the boy is a tall muscular boy with short white hair . “Uhm hello..?” He says while starting to stand up “damn you tall..” you say but then hurry hands on your mouth out of embarrassment

The boy laughs. “I know, what’s your name mines is tengen..” you look up to see him smiling at you “uhm my name is y/n..” he looks at you with a surprised look then smiles again “so your the one all the nurses have been talking about..” you look at him with a confused look “what do you mean by that..”

“Nevermind..” he looks away scratching his head. You turn around to see a girl with blue hair staring at you two. She looks at you at smiles. “HI!” you see that she’s a very cheery happy girl without constant she runs in the room and hugs you. “Hi I love you by the way..” you try to process what the hell just happened

You analyze the girl, the girl is a curvaceous girl she has big eyes and white irises. “Uhm h-..” your cut off by tengen yelling “YOKI GET THE FUCK OUT” she looks at him with a psychotic smile then gets up. She then walks over and hugs him. “Don’t worry I love you too..” she then walks out making you question existence.

“Sorry about her she’s hella weird to new people and me..” you look at him with a smile on your face. “I thinks she’s kinda cute hehe” he looks at you with a confused look on his face “hm that’s weird because most new kids hate her..”

“KIDS COME IN THE LOBBY FOR GROUP TIME!”

Tengen sighs “why are you sighing tengen..” you say with a confused tone in your voice. “Everyone hates group time all we do is therapy is boring as fuck..cmon” he gestures for you to come out the room. You walk down the slightly cold hallway.

You both then enter a warm room where chairs are positioned in a circle. Tengen sits and then gestures you to sit next to him, you sit next to him and look around the room to analyze everyone.

You see a boy with scars and white hair just like tengen. You see see a girl with pink and green ombré hair. You look to your side and see the boy with orange and red hair he gives you a glare. You look to your left and see a boy with spikey black hair.

“Uhm where’s shinobu at..” the boy with scars says while looking around for her. “Oh..! She just wants us to talk alone with y/n..!” Everyone then turns to look at you waiting for you to say something “h-hi I’m y/n..nice to meet you all”

“Hi y/n I’m mitsuri!”

“Im sanemi..”

“Giyu.”

“HEHE IM YOKI POKI..”

“I-I’m rengoku..”

“Oh nice to meet you all..” mitsuri then Raises her hand, “I will make the question today..the question for today is the devil real..!” Sanemi looks at mitsuri with a concerned look “mitsuri are you alright..?” Giyu looks up “Yeah who as-“ you cut him off

“The devil is real, he’s not a little man with horns and a tail..”

“He can be beautiful..”

“Cause he’s a fallen angel and he used to be god’s favorite..”

Everyone in the room gives you a concerned look. “Hey uhm y/n you alright..” Tengen says while nudging you. “I’m fine..” you say with an emotionless look on your face, “well then..” mitsuri says while scratching her head, “that answers are question for today..”

3:00 am

“Gah hah hah..” you wake up drenched in sweat to see that tengen was nudging you to wake up. “Oh your up..cmon..” he says with a sturn look on his face. “W-where are we going..HUH!?” He picks you up out of the bed and starts tip toeing out of the room with you on his shoulders.

“Don’t ask any questions.” Tengen sounds scared and serious so you shut your mouth up quick. You look to see mitsuri im the kitchen craming food in her mouth. “Cmon Mitsuri its time..and stop eating so much you know you have a eating disorder..” she turns around with food in her hands and food crammed in her mouth.

“Ugh tengen its time already..and you know they don’t feed me enough because of my disorder..” she says while trying to shove food in her bra. ”what the hell is going on tengen..” he looks back at you with a annoyed look, “I said no questions..”

4:00 am

Your hiding with tengen in a closet while trying to keep quiet. “CMON KIDS I SWEAR I WONT HURT YOU” you peak through to door the see shinobu with a knife giggling, “CMON KIDS I TOLD YOU EVEYBODYS A KILLER IF YOU PUSH THEM FAR ENOUGH AND YOU PUSHED ME FAR ENOUGH..”

“Can I tell you something y/n..” you turn to a teary eyed tengen, “sure..” he gulps “there was once a boy named obanai he went here for a little until he got caught by shinobu he was a nice calm boy who loved mitsuri with all his heart she love him to but ever since that one night I told him to hide he never listened and he said he wanted to stay with mitsuri, and make sure she was safe.”

“What happened then..” he wipes his tears “he got caught shinobu ran up to him a sliced him up right in front of mitsuri spared her but not him..then the next day forced us to..” he gags “eat his remains..” you look at him in shock trying to comprehend what he just said to you.

“Sorry didn’t mean to tell you so soon..” you look at the closet wall “it’s alright..” Tengen then creeks open the door looking for a close cover “ok guys it’s safe to go..” everyone walks out of the hiding spots. Mitsuri looks around “where’s yo-“ she’s cut off my rengokus screams.

Rengoku runs in the room with a body covered in blanket with blood stained on it.

“YOKI WAS KILLED!”

To be continued..



[like-rain-or-confetti]

Request: Mine (Alec Volturi x Reader)

WARNING: GORE!

You had to stay clear. Heidi was bringing in the tours and Demetri was around to make sure all would run smoothly, no one being left behind. Whilst you could only smile at a few of the tourists who locked eyes with you. You figured it wouldn't hurt, they'd go one way and you'd go the other, completely clear of what would happen next. Suddenly you heard your name. 

The voice was familiar but before you could recall who it was, they stepped out of the line of tourists, walking up to you with a smile. You felt your stomach drop. It was your ex boyfriend. Heidi and Demetri both looked at him but said nothing. "Well I'll be damned, I never thought I'd see you here." Your ex smiled. "It's good to see you." You said politely. Although you found it difficult to mask your unease. "Do you work here?" He asked. "Yeah." You nodded. "How have you been?" It was clear he was determined to get a conversation to you reluctantly gave in. "I've been good. Working mostly." You smiled gesturing to the room. "How have you been?" “I've been great. Travelling with friends. Partying. You know me." He winked. You hummed in 'amusement'. 

"Well hello there." Heidi glided up to you both. Your ex looked her up and down and smirked. "Hey." "(Y/N)'s considered new around her and doesn't know anyone." Heidi smiled, pulling you into her side. She rubbed your arm slightly. Although you were uncertain if that was her way to say she had your back. "So who's your friend?" She smiled wider, showing her teeth. "Oh he isn't my-" You began but your ex interrupted. "I'm an old friend. (Y/N) and I have quite a history together." He replied sending you a teasing flirtatious smile. "This is my ex boyfriend." You finished. "Oh I see. Well, you only have a couple of minutes, the tour is about to start and you..." She lightly tapped your nose with her free arm. "...have to get back to work." She broke away but kept at a close distance. Supposedly not paying attention anymore but you knew she was keeping close for you. 

"How long have you been here?" Your ex asked. "I've been here for nearly a year now."  "Wow. No one told me you'd left. Your mum told me when I went looking for you but she had no idea where you went. She said you had just up and left." You wanted to kick yourself and groan. This wasn't going to be easy. "Why...why did you speak to my mum?" You asked. "I was looking for you. I went to your house but your mum said you had been gone for months." "Yeah, I didn't tell anyone where I was going. I needed the space and time to build a new life here. My...my life back there was pretty much ruined." Thanks to him. "Ah, yes, that wasn't my finest moment." He said quieter. "It doesn't matter now. What's done is done. The way I see it, it would have been worse if I stayed." "In my eyes, the worst thing I've ever done is what I did to you." He responded. You were certain that your ex had cheated on you. If he hadn't then it would be a matter of waiting until he did. Waiting for your heartbreak. Not to mention he wasn't exactly apologetic for the flirting with others, and generally tiptoeing the line of cheating. 

When you ended things with him, he was determined to ruin your reputation with rumours about you such as being controlling. You saw the storm he was itching to give you. So you figured if you left, you'd be rid of him and any damage he caused, as well as he'd have no choice but to pick someone else or be his own downfall thanks to that oncoming storm. 

You shrugged. "Hey...can we talk? A little more privately?" He asked softly. "I don't think I can. I really need to get back to work-" "It'll only be just a minute." He said quickly. "Alright everyone, the tour is starting, if you could all please stick together and not wander. This place is very big and who knows if we'll find you again!" Heidi's voice rang out. The last sentence received a couple of chuckles. "Enjoy the tour. It was nice to see you again." You took a step back. "Please, it's important." He said hurriedly. You didn't know how to answer.  "One moment everyone!" Heidi smiled brightly as Demetri placed a hand on her back and guided her towards the corner in hushed chatter. 

"Make it quick." You said flatly. "I've been thinking about us. How we left things and I've really missed you." You sighed. "I know- I know we had our issues but if we try we can work through them." "No. I think the past is in the past and I want to leave it there." You responded. "If you didn't care you wouldn't have left everything behind." He said. "You know, I have more reasons to leave than you making up stories about me whilst you play around with others feelings." You frowned slightly. "I don't blame you." He answered. "I don't care and I don't need your validation. You made your choices and I made mine."  "You're just not thinking straight. You left your family. They don't even know where you are." He said. "That is none of your business." You said firmly. "Would you stop acting so entitled and being overdramatic and listen to me? It's no wonder we broke up. You do this every time!" 

"Excuse me, I think that's enough now." Demetri interrupted calmly. "The tour is about to start." "Buddy... you're really not involved in this and we're having a conversation so mind your business." Your ex said through gritted teeth. Before Demetri could respond, you jumped to his defence. "Don't speak to him like that! You can speak to me like that but don't speak to him like that!" "No, he can't speak to you that way." Heidi said, sending him a pointed gaze. Her hands on her hips. Your ex looked at her. Knowing him, he wanted to snap at her like he had Demetri but as soon as his eyes landed on her, they softened and he said nothing. He wore the same look he had back then. "You know that's why I'd get to angry with you." You said softly. "You always tried to convince me that I was crazy but even now, you have a wandering eye." "What? You'd want me to blind myself? Is that what would make you happy?" He said with snark and you didn't respond. Demetri nodded to Heidi . "Are we done here?" You asked him. "No." Your ex said flatly. You sighed before turning to Heidi. She was about to speak up but you cut her off. "It's okay Heidi. I can handle this." "You make it sound like I'm the problem here." Your ex frowned. "If your colleagues didn't hover around you then perhaps we wouldn't be disagreeing right now." "It's alright, Heidi." Demetri said as he put a hand on her shoulder. "You go ahead with the group. I'll make sure he catches up." Heidi thought about it for a moment before nodding. "Very well." With a flick of her hair she moved towards the front of the group. "As I said everyone! Stay together!" She began to walk down the corridor, heading towards the throne room. 

You knew at this point your ex was just shutting down. He knew that wasn't what you meant but everything he'd say from that moment forward was out of pure spite. "You do this every time!" He said in anger. "I don't want to fight with you! I'm trying to talk to you." "There's nothing to talk about. What you and I had is over." "No, it's not." He responded quickly and confidently. "You can't do that. You can't just speak to me like we just shared a ride home." He said, stepping closer. "You and I are more than that, we always have been." "We aren't anything. I've moved on and I'm happy." You responded, standing your ground. "Moved on?" He laughed. "No. No, I don't believe that. You're still standing here and we both know that when you're done with someone that you don't give them the time of day." "I'm trying to be civil and not make a scene." He laughed again, completely convinced. "Alright. Where is my replacement then, hm? Is it him?" Your ex nodded behind him towards Demetri. "No and I don't want you meeting him." You folded your arms. "Or I won't because you're lying." Your ex smirked. "You don't have to be like this babe. We can start again. We can have that happy life together we talked about. Laugh about all of this later. You and I were solid and we can be like that again." You shook your head. "No. I already told you I'm with someone else." "And do they love you like I do?" He asked. You paused. You knew Alec loved you. He just didn't tell it or show it all the time. Not in the way your previous relationships had. Alec wasn't like other people and sometimes that had challenges but you'd take that. You'd rather someone loved you and barely told you rather than someone constantly telling you they loved you merely because they loved the idea of you and wanted to keep you around. "My guess is that he loves me more." You answered quietly. It had been a long time since you had to deal with how your ex was treating you and you couldn't help but wonder if you were losing. Your ex hummed in amusement. "You tell yourself that a lot, don't you? I can see it in your eyes. Well let me tell you babe, loving you is easy." He moved closer, his voice lowering. "I promise you, I loved you more than anyone ever has and I still do. You're hurt. I get that. I hurt you but I can fix it just as easily. Just as easily as you light up my world with that beautiful face of yours. Come on, you and me." He took your arms and you shook your head. "No." You said quickly. Demetri stepped forward but you shook your head at him. "It's fine, Demetri. I can handle this." You said hurriedly. "In fact, don't you have somewhere else to be?" Your ex sneered at Demetri behind him. His grip on you tightened. "Stop it. You're getting angry at him for no reason." You said hurriedly. "Yes, I am because this dude doesn't know when to take a hint and clear off." Your ex said sharply. Demetri's eyes narrowed on your ex before turning on his heel and briskly heading down the corridors, the same way the rest of the tourists had. 

"Come on, you and me." Your ex said quieter and softly. "We had amazing times together and we should never have ended things the way we did." "You're not listening to me. It is over." You emphasized. "No, it's not." He said simply. Before you could pull back, your ex pulled you in by your arms and kissed you. You immediately pulled your head away. "You can't do that!" You cried out. However you cry was drowned out by a very loud scream of rage. 

Alec was in front of you both in moments and looked absolutely livid. With inhuman speed he grabbed your ex, throwing him to the ground. Alec was moving so fast that you couldn't see anything but a blur. Your ex screamed in terror as Alec dragged him by the legs, down a different corridor behind you. "Alec!?" You cried out but before you could move, Demetri held you back as Felix and Jane stepped around you, heading after Alec. Demetri forcibly made you turn in the other direction. 

You thought he was taking you to the throne room but her turned a sharp corner and instead led you to the kitchen. You could only say Demetri's name, unable to form a coherent sentence. You wanted to ask him a million questions but nothing came to mind. "Your arms..." Demetri said quickly closing the gap between you to inspect your arms. You looked down to see red scratches down your fore arms. "Do these hurt?" He asked. 

Now that you were aware of them, you acknowledged the burning sensation they left but you weren't even remotely concerned about that. You were worried about Alec. "No!" You said hurriedly. "I'm more concerned about Alec. He was- where did he go? What just happened!?" Demetri didn't answer, simply staring into your eyes. "Let us deal with this, understand the situation better so I can be accurate, alright? Just, let me take you to his room and be patient.” You let him, taking a glass of water with you for Demetri's peace of mind. 

Jane turned around to see Demetri approaching. "How bad is it?" He asked. Alec's screams of rage and the sound of breaking furniture very loud despite the door being shut. "Bad." Felix responded. "The human is basically soup in there." "The humans final minutes were nothing less of excruciating." Jane smiled darkly. "Is the human in pieces?" Demetri said in somewhat horror. Not because he suddenly had a concern for humans. More so because humans are basically bags of fluid and if your ex had been even slightly ripped open, blood and everything else would utterly destroy the very old carpets, rugs and walls. Not to mention Alec was currently destroying everything in sight. "Friend, I'm going to say this as delicately as I can." Felix said to Demetri. "That human was very much alive when Alec ripped him apparent and tore out his organs. He then threw the organs all over the room and has since been stamping on every bone. That human is a puddle of mush and then rest of him is across the room." "How lovely..." Demetri trailed off. Although he wasn't surprised. This was Alec after all. "He needs to calm down soon. (Y/N) is worried about him." "They'll need to wait." Jane responded flatly. "It's been a long time since he's been this angry." Jane spoke of it like talking about the weather and not that her brother was completely destroying a room whilst creating a gruesome scene. "I'm surprised you're not in there and helping him." Felix said to Jane. "He wouldn't let me get close. He wanted the human to himself." Jane smiled proudly as she thought fondly of her brother. "That human was in just as much pain if I got to him." Felix blinked. "Alright, what's the plan?" "You and I go to (Y/N) and explain the situation, then we go and inform Aro. Jane will stay here with Alec until he calms down. Jane, do not let him go to his room afterwards, (Y/N) is in there and they can't see him like that." Demetri said and Jane nodded as Felix moved towards Demetri. 

"Okay you're telling me not to worry but now there are two of you and you won't tell me what's happening." Your eyes narrowed on the two. "It's complicated and we don't know how to explain without crossing a line." Demetri responded. "Wait, Demetri, can we even tell them? Is it our place to tell?" Felix asked. "I don't think we have much of a choice. Do you think Alec will?" Demetri turned to Felix. You looked between the two. "If you don't tell me what's going on then I will scream." You warned them. The two simply looked at you, seemingly unconvinced that you would. You inhaled a deep breath. "Wait! Wait, hold on little human!" Felix said quickly raising his arms. "We'll tell you just don't do that." Demetri said quickly. Neither of the two wanted to find out what you screaming would do when Alec is already off the rails. It could be those two next for all they knew if you did. 

Before Felix could talk, Demetri cut him off. "I'll tell them. You are awful at breaking news to anyone." Felix huffed, annoyed he couldn't but at the same time slightly offended with the lack of faith his friend had in him. Although Felix knew his friend was right. He really was the worst at that. "You know that Alec can be temperamental and is very driven by his emotions when he wants to be." Demetri began. "You also know that sometimes be can be so aggravated that he has..." Demetri trailed off. "Tantrums." Felix said flatly. Demetri sent him a pointed look. "What else can you call this? We'll be here all day if we want to look at this with rose tinted glasses. It's tantrums." Felix continued in his defence and Demetri sighed. "Just as Jane does. You know of this but haven't ever experienced it for yourself. This is one of those times. Alec has disposed of the human and is currently on a uncontrollable rampage of destruction. All we can do is wait for him to calm on his own." "Why...why has this provoked such a reaction?" You asked. "Well-" Demetri was cut off again by Felix. "Because the twins do this every time they don't get their own way or something happens they don't like... usually the first one." "Felix!" Demetri scolded him. "It's true! (Y/N) lives here, they might as well know that when the twins don't get what they want, this is what happens!" Felix said to defend himself again. "What I was going to say is," Demetri said as he narrowed his eyes on Felix in warning. "Alec is very... protective of you." "Yeah but also possessive." Felix interrupted again. "Felix, I swear-" "I'm just telling the truth!" Demetri quietly growled in slight frustration. "Alec doesn't really know how to channel his emotions and his past has very much to do with that. He can't express himself correctly and so sometimes the twins have all this pent up emotion that they don't know what to do with it and...this happens." You blinked. "I can't do anything to help him?" "Darling, there is no reasoning with Alec right now in these states. It's best you leave him be and when he's ready he'll come to you." You sighed sitting on Alec's bed. "Might I speak with you about something for a moment? Something that has caused some concern?" Demetri asked. You nodded. "What's up?" You asked quietly. Demetri moved closer to you. "The way that human spoke to you. You know that isn't okay, right?" Demetri asked. You could see concern matching in both Felix and Demetri's eyes. "No one who ever claims to love you should ever treat you like that. You know that, don't you?" You nodded slowly. "I know." You said quietly. "I couldn't make excuses for him after some time and I know that when someone treats you like that... it'll only get worse. So I left. I told myself I deserved better and that I'd never go back." "Right on." Felix smirked softly from the doorway. "Did Alec hear?" You asked. Slowly, Demetri nodded. “He heard the human doubting him, shall we say? Although he was under control. He was approaching when I left when the human kissed you, Alec lost control.” You recalled the rage filled scream that rang through your ears. That must have been Alec. "Do you think he was worried? That I'd go back?" You asked. Demetri thought about it for a moment. "I think he doubts himself. How deserving he is of you. That being said, he'd hold you to him regardless." Demetri cracked a smile and you couldn't help but giggle. That sounded like Alec. "As I said, he's protective of you. You mean everything to him and when someone disrespects you. He will take that very personally." Demetri assured you before stepping back. "Give him some time. Maybe a couple of hours. He'll calm down and come back to you." "What did he do to him? My ex?" You asked. "I think it best that you don't think about that. It's better if you don't know." Demetri responded. 

Once Demetri closed Alec's door, Felix let out a sigh of relief. "They nearly screamed when we didn't tell them. Can you imagine if Alec heard them scream right now in this state? You and I would be done for!" "Now we'll be screaming next if the twins over heard what you said about them." Demetri's eyes narrowed. "We'll both get Jane's gift for that." "It was nothing but the truth!" Felix said. Demetri sighed, walking with more purpose. "(Y/N) is with us now, they'd figure that out eventually! Demetri, don't walk away from me!" Felix strode after his friend. 

After an hour of worrying, Alec returned to his room. He stood in his open door way, staring you down. "Are you okay?" You asked before you could even think. "You shouldn't have seen that." He said lowly. "Alec..." You trailed off with worry. After a moment of staring you down, he marched towards you. 

Alec collided with you so hard that you fell back upon his bed. His lips were on yours before you knew it as he climbed further on top of you. You pulled back and hurriedly said his name before he moved back in for another kiss. "Alec! Alec!" You said hurriedly, taking his face into your hands. His eyes were a deep red, an improvement from the pitch black ones that met your gaze before but it was clear that Alec was still very much upset, even as his control was gradually returning. "Are you okay?" You asked. Alec swallowed, his stare intense. "Sweetheart, everything is okay." You said weakly, feeling tears begin to build in your throat. "You're the only one that matters." You assured him, stroking his cheek his your thumb. 

You needed him to be sure that only Alec mattered to you. Unable to stand even the thought that Alec doubted that. Alec caught sight of your arm and a quiet sound that resembled a whine escaped him. The red marks that streaked down from your elbow to your wrist. Alec began to grow irate, unable to tear his eyes from your arm as he immediately pulled back from you and your hold to grasp your arm. You knew Alec was trying to figure out if he had done that but you couldn't tell him. You didn't know if it had been Alec or your ex when Alec grabbed him with such speed, tearing him from you. 

"It's okay." You said to him softly. "I-I didn't even feel it. It was so quick and with everything going on, I didn't even realise what had happened." "Does it hurt?" Alec asked. His voice made it clear that he was grasping at every straw of control he had. All the while his voice tone was slightly higher, almost like whine he was trying to hold back. "It stings a little every now and then but it's honestly just a scratch." That Alec knew. There wasn't any bleeding or even a break of the skin. However that didn't make him any happier about the situation. He exhaled and you barely heard the small whine before Alec pulled your arm to his cold lips, pressing kisses against the scratch. "I'm more concerned about you and if you're okay." You said to him. Whilst you had been told about how angry Alec could get, this had been the first time you had ever witnessed it. Alec's gaze met yours once more. "Kiss me." He said lowly before pressing his lips against yours.  You returned the kiss, without any further questions. When he was ready and if he wanted to, he'd say what's on his mind. "Come here." You said to him quietly and he leaned back slightly, allowing you to move up to the pillows on his bed. He followed and you pulled him into your chest.  "I'm not going anywhere." You whispered as Alec's eyes fluttered shut, surrounded my your scent. One hand played with his hair, the other across his back. Alec wrapped his own arms around you sliding under your back. Every so often he'd squeeze you that little bit closer to him.

[luimagines]

This is my third time sending this ask because tumblr keeps saying it didn't go through- so if you've seen this already just ignore it but could you do a short headcanon list on how they would react if you held their hand- could be platonic or romantic whichever is easier to write

Masterlist

Sorry that Tumblr kept eating your asks. But this was first time I saw it so I'm glad you didn't give up.

Handholding headcanons!

I think I'll do a bit of both platonic and romantic just because I can.

Content under the cut!

Time

Platonic

It you were to grab his hand out of the blue, he’d be startled at first and almost pull his hand back on instinct.

He sees you and then he calms down even if he’s more confused than before.

He doesn’t know what the next course of action is and he doesn’t want to cause a scene or hurt your feelings by asking you to let him go. 

He will ask you to let go eventually though

So it’s best to make it short and sweet at first and probably get to point of catching his attention since you certainly have it now.

But if you happen to make a habit of just taking his hand out of the blue then he lets you hold on to him for as long as you need.

He grows resigned to it and just lets you get it out of your system until you move on to the next team member.

He does feel a little better in the idea that you trust him by the end of the day though.

Even if he’s not sure why you like hold his hand in particular, he doesn’t want to put any strain on your relationship especially since he’s let it go on for as long as he has.

Besides, the adventure won’t last forever, he tells himself, it’s not doing any harm either.

He takes on an father figure/ older brother approach when you hold his hand by now and just uses it to keep you in line with the boys or out of their natural crosshairs of chaos.

Romantic

If you were to hold his hand out of the blue, he wouldn’t hesitate to hold yours back, even giving a little squeeze to reassure himself of your presence.

He likes to hold your hand and walk by your side as quiet way to show you his affection both in private and in public.

He’s a man of little words but he never wants you to doubt his devotion to you.

He doesn’t outwardly react when you grab him.

But his heart never fails to swell in general contentment when you show, even in the little things that you want to be by his side.

After a few minutes of initial contact, he’d grin a little to himself and begin to swing your hands back and forth in time with your steps.

If the boys try to say anything then he’s quick to silence them with his a simple glance over his shoulder at them.

Not that he had to be angry or anything but the boys don’t want to potentially push him that far with their teasing...

The whole... poke the bear and run the hills when it moves sort of thing.... It’s a giant game of chicken that they lose every time.

He’d hold your hand forever if you’d let him, even if he knows he can’t feasibly do so and keep his image of stoic leader of the Heroes of Courage at the same time.

It helps ground him.

Wind

Platonic

If you were to grab his hand out of the blue, he’d hold your back no problem.

It’s something his sister does a lot back home so it’s nice for him to have little reminder even if your hands are nothing like hers.

He’d take it in stride and swing them back and forth with no hesitation at all.

As long as it’s clear to him that you’re holding him out of want to be friendly, he takes turns with you throughout the journey for who grabs whos hand first.

If he at all gets the impression however, that it’s because the youngest and it’s to keep him close, he would yank his hands away from yours and stomp away from you with a few harsh words on his tongue about how he doesn’t need to be babied.

It depends on your status and previous encounters with him for this and how he thinks you view him.

Even if the negative encounter happens and he see later on that it wasn’t to hold him back, he’d grab your hand instead.

A silent memo that he’s ok with it and he’s sorry for pushing you away the first time.

He’s more inclined to grab onto a persons arm if he’s familiar with them instead of grabbing their hand but since you’ve grabbed onto his hand first, he’s willing to meet you where you stand for quiet affection.

But he likes the idea of holding hands as he travels, mostly because it reminds him that’s not alone on this adventure.

And if it helps him think that he’s got nothing to prove to the others when he allows himself a small comfort, that’s for him to know.

Romantic

If you were to grab his hand out of the blue, he’d instantly start blushing.

Full on- tomato red, all the way to the tips of his ears and down to his neck.

He gets shy and quiet and laces his finger with yours but he has a trouble making eye contact.

Part of him wants to push you away because he immediately gets teased by the other boys but depending on your reaction- he either sticks his tongue out and squeezes your hand tighter or just starts swearing like the sailor he is for embarrassing you.

Because so help him, if they make you feel uncomfortable enough to let go of him first, then he’s going to prank all of them until they leave you alone.

He’s very quick to push aside his own discomfort at their words and instead fight for your honor.

Because it was clearly something you wanted to do but the others would have shot you down and made you feel self conscious and doubtful

And that won’t stand.

He thinks it’s one of the sweet things anyone would want from him.

A lot of Wind is loud and expressive and eye catching, so something small and quiet and mostly hidden catches him off guard.

It send his heart into a spiral and even when you’re not holding onto him, he can sometimes still feel your phantom touch.

He tries to compare the emotions of the thrill of holding his sword versus the thrill of holding your hand.

And... he begins to think that what he once thought was irreplaceable, can very quickly be put on the back burner if you’re willing to stay by his side.

Twilight

Platonic

If you were to grab his hand out of the blue, he’d be startled at first and probably ask you out loud what you thought you were doing, but he’d be more amused about it- than say- Time or Legend.

He’d raise his eyebrow and let you hold onto him for a moment without grabbing you back as you explain yourself.

If you say you just felt like it then he’d just let you hold onto him without putting up much of a fight

All the kids from his village would more or less hang off of him so he’s pretty used to it. (Wind does it too so he’s accepted his fate)

If he gets the impression that you’re afraid or uncomfortable and that’s why you’ve reach out to him- then he’ll hold your hand back.

He’s has a strong grip and it’s warm and comforting with seasoned, robust calluses from years of farm work.

He’s not the kind of person to let go first in this situation and while gladly hold your hand to ground you and make sure you feel better about the situation no matter what is happening.

It’s his older brother instinct.

He won’t exactly be the most comfortable with it (he’d probably feel better if you let him wrap his arm around your shoulders instead) but he’d do it.

Mostly because he doesn’t like the reminiscent feeling of something latched onto his hand and/or wrist.

Romantic

If you were to grab his hand out of the blue, this boy would get the giddiest and most boyish smile just smack dab on the middle of his face.

He doesn’t hesitate to hold your hand back even if that little phantom feeling returns.

The fact that you’re so quick to lace your fingers together helps change the way the little phantom feeling appears.

It changes from cold, unforgiving steel to warm gentle and caring fingers.

He tries to memorize how your hand feels in his whenever he has to chance.

He’d periodically squeeze your hand as you walk together or even if you’re just chilling and holding each other.

He likes to remind himself that you’re there and that you’re real.

He’s not the kind to talk about his partner excessively in public or be fond of PDA but he’ll hold your hand- keep you close- let the world know that you’re taken- and with him.

Admittedly, it’s a little possessive but if he were to be confronted about it (not that he gives off that vibe, it’s just the thoughts in his head) he’d blame the wolfish need to protect and claim the mate.

This poor boy is too self conscious and raised with country charm and manners to do anything else while in public.

Wild

Platonic

If you were to grab his hand of the blue then he’ll send a confident grin, take his hand out of yours and wrap his arm around your shoulders instead.

He’s a bit touchy with his personal space even if he has no problem invading your own.

You’d probably get a better reaction if you asked him first.

But if you’re closer friends with him, he’d actually be the one to grab to you

So it’s less likely that you’d be the one grabbing his hand and instead he’d be the one to drag along to whatever he plans on doing next.

Instead of grabbing his hand, it would be easier to get away with grabbing his arm or wrapping it with your own.

Or wrapping your own arm around his shoulders.

But grabbing his hand is a level of intimacy that he’s a little afraid to give to others.

Not to mention that he’s done a lot of fighting and still needs to fight at any moments notice, so he’s going to need his hands free.

He does appreciate it though, it’ll just a while (and more people than just you) for him to get used to it again.

Romantic

If you grabbed his hand out of the blue, you’re never getting it back.

Although he’s not all too comfortable with hand holding, you’re the exception and he doesn’t plan on letting you go any time soon.

He’d seek out your hand almost the entire time you’re together, just to hold onto you.

It helps ground him, lets him know that you’re there to support him whenever he might need it.

If he gets sucked into a memory, he likes to come back with your hand in his. 

It doesn’t happen all that often because it’s not something he’s told you but he always hopes you’re nearby.

One the occasion that you reach for his hand first, he’d still for a moment before relaxing completely, lacing your fingers together out of habit and smiling contently as you walk.

Wild is the kind of person that would hold your hand in his sleep, or while you sleep and is genuinely intrigued by the intricacy of your fingers.

He’d play with your hands constantly.

He finds it calming and relaxing.

Sky

Platonic

If you were to grab his hand out of the blue, he grin and hold it back with a small swing between you two before returning his attention to where it was before.

Hand holding is natural up on Skyloft so it’s not worth paying much attention to between friends.

It’s a simple form of affection that is shared by all people so Sky is glad that you consider him a close enough friend to hold his hand.

He doesn’t pay much attention to it actually.

It’s a familiar feeling that reminds him of companionship and it helps stabilize the subconscious feeling of uncertainty.

If you do it first, it give Sky to ok to search out your hand when ever he feel like.

You’d typically be holding hands whenever you’re paired off together.

It may lead to a conversation between some other people (either in the group) or some town you’d be visiting about how you’re just friends

After the indicial conversation about how’s there nothing between you two, by some well meaning (or judgmental) individual, Sky will be a little more self aware about it.

But if you don’t mind it, then Sky won’t worry about it too much.

Romantic

If you were to grab his hand out of the blue, he’d get a bit red in the face and a little shy but he’d be the guy to pull your hand up and place a quick to your knuckles before any one notices.

Sky is so happy to be with you that holding your hand is a constant occurrence.

It’ll almost be as if you two are connected at the hip instead of your hands.

Because of this, no one questions who either of you would be paired off with when the group needs to split up.

Occasionally Sky or you will choose a different partner for the day or for the necessary occasion.

But it’s typically you two against the world.

Sky is very fond of hand kisses so expect a lot of those when you’re next to him.

He’s also inclined to play with your hands in whatever down time you may have.

When you grab Sky’s hand, he always pulls you a little closer to him.

He gets a little conflicted about holding your hand and wanting to hug you flush against himself but he really enjoys having you close

Warrior

Platonic

If you were grab his hand out of the blue, he’d stall and look at you and seeing that it’s just you, would smile back simple let it happen.

It’s not going to be a big deal to him if it’s you or any one else of the chain.

(Mask and Wind may have gotten him used to being clung to during the War- it’s the care taker in him)

He won’t mention it if you won’t.

There’s no reason to make it weird and sometimes people just need to be held.

That being said, he prefer it if you asked first- but he’s not going to make a fuss about it if you don’t... just common curtesy, you know?

He might actually forget that you’re holding hands for a time until you either let go or he need his hand back and has to take it away.

As long as there’s no immediate treats nearby, he’d hold you hand for as long as you need.

He might actually offer it to you if he sees that’s you’re afraid or upset during travel or spooky dungeon crawls.

One of the more chill people to hold hands with, seeing as he’s more or less been conditioned as an older brother to the point where he’s gotten used to it no matter the circumstance

Romantic

If you were to grab his hand out of the blue, he would instantly lace your fingers together and would be grinning like a fool for the next hour or so.

He’s a bit hesitant with anything grandiose as romantic gestures (for reasons having to do with a crazy dark sorceress-) so something small and subtle just hits him right in his heart.

He’s going to want to be by your side all the time, hand holding or otherwise just so you’re with his line of sight.

Warrior won’t typically be the one to reach for your hand first

He’s shy and doesn’t want to over step any boundaries you may have by invading your personal space (kinda the opposite to Wild in this regard)

That being said, this is mostly when you’re both in public or among friends.

In private he’s a little less self conscious about how others might perceive him.

He definitely reach for you while he sleeps though so try to stay on the same side every night or he might just grab someone else from the group.

Instead of kissing your knuckles this guy is the kind of person to kiss your palm or the inside of your wrist if he’s feeling a little more bold than usual.

For all his bravado, Warrior is very self conscious about his actions and appearance because all eyes are typically on him- so you holding his hand without expecting anything else hits the bulls eye.

Hyrule

Platonic

If you were to grab his hand out of the blue, he’d laugh and squeeze your hand a little bit before happily swinging it back and forth.

He won’t think much of it.

He’d also have no problems grabbing your own hand from time to time even if you don’t reach out to him first.

He’d grab your hand to drag you on whatever side adventure he feels like going on.

He’d hold your hand to keep you close when you’re alone in a dungeon together.

He’d hold you hand when he’s freaked out or when you’re freaked out.

He just likes holding the people he cares about close, whether it’s you or any member of the chain.

Like Sky, he doesn’t see an issue with it and has little to no issues with his personal space- it’s a pretty small bubble actually.

Hands are a special sort of connection for Hyrule because it’s where a lot of his magic flows out of. 

Since it’s a pivotal point of his perception of the world around him, he takes comfort in being able to read others by his touch alone and how they might be feeling at the time.

Romantic

If you were to grab his hand out of the blue, Hyrule might not even notice it in the beginning.

He’d typically be holding onto you one way or another, and there’s always something going on right by his finger tips.

But by the time he notices that you’re holding hands, he’d smile and bashfully look at them for a minute or two before returning his attention to where it was prior.

It makes him happy in a fluttery sense that he can only compare to the moments when he takes flight in his fairy form.

He finds it warm and it flows all through his arm and chest and body- to where it feels like he’s been completely encompassed by a sense of safety and acceptance.

He would eventually find himself seeking your hand and your presence even if you’re no longer net to him for whatever reason.

He just begins to reach out next to him subconsciously expecting you to be there only for his heart to come crashing down when you’re not there.

Even if you’re not holding hands, he wants to have some connection to you.

An arm around your shoulders, around your waist, a hand playing with your hair, with the fringes of your clothes...

He might just hold onto the straps of your bags when you’re wearing them if you don’t want to hold his hand.

Hyrule doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable with his constant presence- but he’s clingy.

Four

Platonic

If you were to grab his hand out of the blue, Four would naturally be startled enough to ask what’s up.

If you say that you just wanted to hold his hand, he’d be little confused as to why did you choose him but he’s not going to make a scene over something as simple as hand holding.

Even if there’s a day where he doesn’t want it. 

Red does the same thing all the time when they’re split so you’ve got someone in your corner supporting you when it comes to spontaneous hand holding.

And the minish have never been shy about handholding anyway so they tend to grab and drag him around all the time as well.

It may not be the way he’d show his friendship but he supposes everyone is different and he likes being your friend.

It’s not a strict boundary that you’re crossing while you do this, so he lets it slide.

Like Legend, the more you do it though, the more he grows comfortable with it and grows to anticipate it and even prefer it when it comes to you.

He likes holding your hand as you travel when it gets to that point and he begins to search for your hand almost as much as you’d search for his.

It’s a quiet form of acceptance that Four appreciates from you and your friendship.

It’s not much but Four is the kind of person to enjoy the little things and he finds it to be a simple thing his overloaded brain can focus on on the louder days.

Romantic

If you were to grab his hand out of the blue, this dude will be so happy. I’m talking instant pep in his step- borderline skipping down the trail you’re on.

He’s more likely to play with your hands than you are to play with his when you’re not traveling for the day.

His hands are covered with calluses and miniscule scars so he’s captivated by the lack of such on your own.

Four, like many others of the chain, tends to seek your hand out even when he’s asleep.

He’d rather hold your hand than put his arm around your waist.

He’d also be the kind of guy that fidgets a lot- so if you’re holding hands be aware that he’s going to squeeze your hand a lot, brush over your knuckles, your wrist and your palm

He’d give your fingers individual attention, pulling gently on your skin, bending them, gently twisting and watching them move

Four’s favorite time to hold your hand however is when it’s late at night, and everyone is quiet and on the cusp of sleep and maybe you’re asleep too, but it’s then when he’d play with your hand and gently brush his fingertips across your skin as he drifts off to sleep as well.

He’s very hands on

It’s very quiet and sweet, he loves it.

Legend

Platonic

If were to grab his hand out of the blue, he would definitely rip it out of your hold out of sheer awkwardness.

Especially near the beginning when you first join the group.

It would take you a few tries to get it to stick where he gives up on it.

Later on, once he’s grown used to it, he just lets you do what you want.

Whether that be play with his hand, just hold it or swing it around.

As long as you don’t try to play with or take off his rings he’s fine.

He’s pretty tolerant of it afterwards but it can easily blamed on the notion tat he’s come to expect it from you and know that you wouldn’t have given up otherwise.

It’s almost like a kill them with kindness scenario but with personal space and simple affectionate gestures instead.

It helps when Hyrule catches wind of your spontaneous hand holding and joins the cause.

So Legend has his hands full most of the time when you travel.

Literally.

It’s a good thing he has to two of them.

Romantic

If you were to grab his hand out of the blue, then he’d be a shy and stuttering mess for the entire time and even up to an hour after you’ve stopped holding onto him.

He’s a softly on the inside and he can’t help it.

But he also isn’t use to simple affection- especially since he’s on his own more often than not.

He wants to keep a loner attitude and how he doesn’t need anyone next to him. It’s why he’d shrug you off if you weren’t as close as you are.

But hand holding is a universal simple sign of ‘Hey, I want you next to me, I want to be next to you. And he doesn’t know how to properly articulate a response, let alone how to manage the emotions that come with it.

So he goes all red and blushy from the tips of his ears all the way down to his chest but he holds your hand back with a soft smile and squeezes you gently.

It’s a shame he can’t quite look you in the eyes as it happens.

He gets really shy.

He’s under the impression that he shouldn’t quite enjoy it as much as he wants to... not if he’ll eventually lose it. Because he loses everything. And he’s not sure if he’s willing to suffer through the heart break afterwards even if it feel all soft and warm to hold you now.

It’s up to you to prove him otherwise and with enough time and patience, he’ll come around to accepting simple affection from more than just the friends around him.

He’ll fully allow himself to be encompassed by your relationship and what it means to love someone with his whole mind, body, heart and soul.

[6rookie-writer0110]

Guided by the crows

Bela Dimitrescu x Male Reader

Request - Bela x Male reader fluff? Right when we boss fight begins R accidentally shoots the window. Where Bela starts screaming, R decides that he can't let her die. He grabs her sickle and throughs in away and pulls her close. He tries to save her by using his body heat to help regulate her's. Whether he succeeds in saving her or not, I want Bela to have a change of heart.

You are fighting for your life. You are badly injured and you are bleeding, your body feels like it got hit by a truck twice. You are fighting against Mother Miranda, she could have easily killed you but she is toying with you. But Bela starts to fight Mother Miranda but Bela is no match for her. Mother Miranda managed to stab Bela in the stomach and she is bleeding heavily.

“Y/n, run away you idiot!” Bela yelled.

You didn't hear clearly what she said because you have a Ringing sound in your ear. You used your gun and you accidentally shoot the window.

“You will die next” Mother Miranda yelled at you.

But she turned her attention to Bela and she is too weak to move. You grabbed Bela’s sickle and you managed to get closer to Mother Miranda

“Get away from her!” You yelled.

You used the sickle to cut Mother Miranda’s head off. You can see the sunlight in the room. The sublight is about to touch Bela, you rushed to her and you used your body to block the sunlight. You noticed the wound on her stomach, she is getting weaker.

“You fool, I told you to run away,” Bela said Weakly

“I’m your fool” You smiled.

“Biggest fool,” Bela said.

It was hard to get her away from the sunlight. She is losing blood fast, you let her bite your wrists and the blood is helping recover. It hurt so badly and you can feel her fangs dig deeper into your wrists. Your visions start to get blurry and you pass out.

Days Later... Bela asked Donna Beneviento to let you recover in her house. Donna said yes and Bela would come to visit you.

“Do you think he will wake up?” Bela asked.

“Yes. He is just in a coma, he was badly injured and his body needs time to recover” Donna said.

“He saved us from Mother Miranda,” Bela said.

“I am grateful for what he did, we all are. But everyone else thinks he is dead” Donna said.

“Let's keep it like that, everyone assumes he is dead,” Bela said.

“Okay,” Donna said.

Hours later you wake up, you got scared because of Donna’s doll. You thought the doll was going to kill you but she isn't. She wanted to see if you would wake up she starts to poke you. You sat up and she walked in the room

“Y/n! You are awake” Bela said.

She runs to you and hugged you tight. You hugged her back and she gently touches your cheek.

“You look great,” You said.

“Even when the blood on my bottom lip?” Bela asked.

“Yes. You always look beautiful” You smiled.

“How are you feeling? You were in a coma for days” Bela said.

“I was in a coma!?” You said in shock.

“Yes. You stayed in this room for days” Bela said.

“Is the doll going to kill us?” You whispered to her.

“No, she won't kill you,” Bela said.

You don't take your eyes of the doll and she puts down the knife. You got scared and she is messing with you.

---

You haven't seen Bela in days. You are still living with Donna. You help around the mansion, you fix whatever is broken. She is nice to you and sometimes you have tea with her. She doesn't talk much but you're still nice to her.

“Why Bela hasn't been around?” You asked.

“She is dealing with a lot of things. She is busy, she will be around soon. I never saw another person care for her so much” Donna said.

“I do care about her. She means the world to me, I know we are different but I don't see that as a problem” You said.

Donna drinks her tea and you do the same.

✬ ✯ ✫ ✯

The sun is down, you meet Bela at a secret place which is the woods.

You are happy to see her, you're standing very close to her. You slowly lean in and she lets you kiss her. She places her hand on your cheek and she starts to kiss you back.

“I missed you,Bela” You said.

“I missed you too, y/n,” Bela said.

“Why, you haven't been around? I did something wrong?” You asked.

“No, you didn't do anything wrong. I was confused and unsure about some stuff” Bela said.

“Confused about us?” You asked.

“I thought I would never find love, I always thought it was for the weak. Y/n, why do you want to be with me? I'm a vampire, I'm not a human” Bela said.

“I never thought I would fall in love. I don't have a problem that you're a vampire. If you need help to find blood, I will do it I don't care where I have to go I would help you. I care so much about you and I don't want to lose you” You said.

Bela kissed you and you said those 3 words to her. She didn't say it back, you understand why and she knows you are saying the truth

---

Bela hasn't told her sisters or her mom about you. She is still figuring out the emotions she feels for you. But she does enjoy meeting you in secret and you like it too. You and Bela are laying in bed, she is gently touching your hand. It started to snow and you're in a secret bedroom in the mansion of Lady Dimitrescu.

“You are cold,” Bela said.

“Yeah. But I like laying next to you” You said.

She moves closer and puts the covers up to your shoulder.

“Have you been feeding?” You asked.

“I haven't in a few weeks,” Bela said.

“You can bite my wrist, I know you hate animal blood,” You said.

“Are you sure?” Bela asked.

“Yes,” You said.

You and Bela sat up and you let her grab your left wrist. You see her fangs come out and she bites hard on your wrist. It did hurt but you didn't move your wrist away. You hold in the pain and she keeps feeding on you.

Bela has changed in many ways. She isn't a cold heart killer anymore, she is happy with you. She still kills for blood and sometimes follows her mother’s rules. She knows that her mother won't accept you and she doesn't want to lose you.

---

Bela can't feed on you all the time. Usually, she would go hunting with her sisters. But sometimes you would go with her to make sure no vampire hunters are around. Everyone has heard the rumors about vampire hunters, you won't let them hurt Bela or her family.

[yourmcu]

Birthday

Pairings: The Avengers x  reader

Summary:

It’s your birthday and the team gets creative on how to surprise you, putting their acting skills to the test.

Word count: 2,350

A/n: just a little something because,, well,, it’s my birthday *runs away* also it’s cheesy, hopefully it makes sense lmao

Warnings: uhhh brief mention of explosion? mostly fluff

The Avengers wanted to get creative for your birthday this year. For the few years they've known you they picked up on things about you. One, you paid no mind to your birthday at all and just considered it a normal day like the rest of the 365, Tony took note that you hated parties, at least the really big ones, something that involved only the team would be good.

Okay, you sound like a party pooper, but that isn't the case; it's not a crime to just... not want to have a grand celebration, right? And people singing the 'happy birthday' song to you too while you just sit there in silence. It's awkward, you once told Natasha. It’s also awkward and hard for you to receive presents even though that’s what birthdays are all about, you’re still getting used to it since you knew someone like Tony Stark.

Well, the team think you're an amazing friend and they all treat you like family. They're so glad they met someone like you.

You're immediately called to the conference room on that day. Only to find the team arguing and pointing fingers at one another.

You kinda just slot in, sitting on the chair you usually sit on whenever there's a meeting or mission briefing. Glancing around, you try and find out what they're fighting about.

Security. Suits. Brief mention of Ultron. Rhodey busying himself with phones, probably making a lot of calls. Natasha and Clint talking among themselves, only raising their voice whenever they're included in the conversation which mainly consisted of Tony and Steve arguing.

"Suit up, get the jet ready." Steve dismisses but before he could walk out himself you raise your hand.

"Hey, sorry, I just woke up," you say sheepishly but coolly at the same time. "What happened, is everyone supposed to go? Can I read the file?" Because if this is an Avengers-level threat that required everyone, you'd want to know all about it.

His sharp and expression softens slightly when he looks at you. "No file, I'm afraid. Some of the compound's security protocols have been compromised, someone hacked in." He proceeds to tell you how they particularly had interest in Bruce and Tony's lab so the other rooms were untouched.

Apparently, they took blueprints and materials, maybe a handful of Tony's suits.

But if you think about it, those two carelessly letting the security to their lab loose? Highly unlikely...

You push the thought to the back of your mind and nod when Steve tells you to get ready. Stark tech can be dangerous in the wrong hands, after all. Let alone the Iron Man suits.

Fortunately, those things have trackers. Leaving you to wonder again why those idiots don't even try and take them off so they won't tracked?

Sat on the floor of the jet while everyone was strangely quiet but once again you didn't pay any mind, you sharpen a few of your knives. Natasha sat on a stool near you, idly picking her nails. An hour into the flight you furrow your brows and look around.

"Are you guys okay?"

"Yes," Tony states quickly and a matter-of-factly. They all share glances before he continued. "It's the tension. Sorry. My fault."

"It's not your fault, Tony," Bruce starts.

"I'm sorry, to whom were those stolen suits again?" Steve speaks up as well and you could tell it's gonna be a full blown argument again.

"Now hold on just a second-" Tony faces the super soldier to counter.

You merely blink, not expecting a simple question to turn out like this. Clint just glances from the pilot's seat and Natasha almost cracks a smile by the look of your face. If only you knew it was all fake, all planned. But what does she know? You're a spy too, maybe you've figured out what they're up to and decided to play along.

Sad to say you're still oblivious. Maybe the fact that you only slept three hours last night is one case. You wanted nothing more than your bed right now.

Heck, not one of them wished you a happy birthday but you didn't notice at all.

Tuning out their bickering you sit down next to Natasha who's the only one not in the argument.

"I haven't seen Wanda all day," you say and she turns her head to face you. "Or Sam, or Bucky."

"Probably not back from their mission." Natasha answers promptly.

You frown at that. "Steve made this sound like an Avengers-level threat, and it is, shouldn't they be here?"

You don't wait for a response, opening up a globe-shaped hologram that shows where the jet, represented by a blinking dot. Your eyes slightly widen when you see the target location which is one of the places you've been dying to visit your whole life.

Maybe it's just a coincidence. You definitely didn't expect to visit it for the first time on a mission though.

Natasha clears her throat. "Hey, have you read the book I gave you?" She subtly closes the globe up when she catches your attention.

You shake your head bashfully. "You know I'm a slow reader. Give me two months then I'll come back to you." You laugh. Natasha smiles and tells you to take your time. "Have you read the book I gave you?"

"I loved it."

"I knew you would!" You say excitedly and the next few moments you discuss about the specific book. She's just glad you didn't ask any further questions about the location.

--

All of you split up once you reach the base but Rhodey and Bruce stay in the jet as backup. The place reminded you so much of the old Avengers tower, only with darker themes. You're paired with Clint who you follow to the side of the building, with surprisingly no cautiousness. He just... ran in, entrance deserted of guards.

You all had a digital, tech checklist to see what was stolen including all the suit names. So far you've searched two drawers now and still no sign of any agent or guard. But it's weird since the others are clearly doing their part on their floors. Thuds, footsteps and sometimes banging sounds could be heard all around.

“Finally," you mutter when you hear footsteps behind you, spinning around so suddenly to surprise your enemy and take him down with ease. You raise an eyebrow when they don't put up a fight at all.

Clint was in front of a computer when you peek in to one of the rooms but he waves you off. "I'll meet you on the next floor. This'll take a second."

"One suit on the roof!" you hear Steve grunt through your earpiece.

"Remember to remove the arc reactor, that'll shut them down for sure." Bruce reminds through everyone's comms.

You hear Tony let out a noise. "Might have a problem with that, Banner, they're all reprogrammed."

Expecting the man with seven Ph. D's to worry, it only took him a minute to respond back. "It's your tech. I don't believe they could do that completely especially having them for only twelve hours."

"In that case," Tony sighs. "There should be a kill switch under one of their reactors."

"Which one?" Natasha grunts.

The deafening silence from Tony's line explains it.

You fight your way though the thugs which again, don't put up a fight. Sometimes you throw one punch and they're out cold, leading you to believe the intense training Bucky insisted you do worked. The only tough ones were the Iron Man suits themselves.

Ripping out the arc reactors wasn't easy. You had to use all you force. On the second one you encounter it got the upper hand and blasts you through a wall, the impact sending sharp pain to your head and back.

You hear metal thumping of a suit so you get back up and attempt to get your hands on the Iron Man in front of you.

"Hey, hey. Same team. Look," Tony grips on your wrists and lifts his mask up. "You alright?"

“Yeah," you pant, relaxing a bit. "Yeah. One of them got m-"

"We just discovered a bomb, northwest," Clint says. By ‘we’ he means him and Natasha. The redhead speaks right after. “Two and a half minutes. How many suits left, Friday?”

"Only one more suit is fully functional."

You get out of Tony's hold and sprint up the stairs. "I got it."

He smiles to himself. The plan is all coming  to place.

As soon as you enter the room you dodge a blast from the much bulkier Mark XVI. Of course they'd want to make the stealth suit more powerful. You launch yourself towards it, stomping on an arm while trying to dodge blasts from the the other one.

"Y/N! Fifty seconds!" Steve shouts in your earpiece.

You could've just jumped out, leaving the compromised suits here to be blown up but being under pressure made you panic and set your only goal to find the switch.

The suit could still set off a blast from the arc reactor so you couldn't really get your hands on it without losing a freaking arm.

"Get out of there!”

But you didn’t have enough time. So you just curl into a ball against the wall, accepting your fate.

A pop did go off. Loud, but you didn't feel yourself torn into pieces right after. You also heard a bunch of aye’s and oh’s. Redwing whirs by to your head to drop off a birthday hat.

"Happy Birthday!”

Your eyes fly open. Turns out the only thing inside Mark XVI was confetti. Natasha walks over to you to inspect and make sure you're alright.

"What the hell?" Your eyes widen at her, then at everyone. Sam and Bucky were now standing with them, smiling at you amused.

"I think she's in shock.”

“You think?”

Steve glares at Tony with a hint of amusement. "I told you it would be too much."

"Trust me she prefers something like this instead of a big party. Don't you, Y/N?"

"What do you mean?" You take off the hat and clutch it between your hands, appreciating Natasha rubbing your back as you try to collect yourself. "How is none of this real?"

"We basically faked a mission for you." Rhodey says.

You look around all the rubble. "This building, the people, suits-"

"Bought the place," Tony states. "Hired stuntmen, did a few tweaks on the suits...”

"God, why would you do that?" You bury your face in your hands, not knowing if you should be laughing or crying. "I punched those guys!"

"They'll be fine, they signed up for it."

You gently get up and brush off some confetti off your knees.

"But back at the compound... you guys were yelling at each other and during the whole thing you all sounded serious," you point out. "Was that all part of the act?"

Especially when that 'bomb' was about to go off. Steve's panicked voice made you scared for your life, only to know that it was all fake.

They all show signs of agreement, laughing.

"We'd make such great actors." Natasha smirks.

"Alright, the cake isn't going to blow itself." Clint walks up to you with said cake and you meet him halfway.

Everyone gathers around and before they could inhale to sing the stupid song, you cut them off. "You all know I hate to be sung at. Can we just get this over with?"

They all burst out laughing, you giggle in the process, blowing out your candle. You all group hug right after. The laughter makes you miss the sound of faint thunder outside.

"Look who's late." Bruce points out.

"Yes, I got here as soon as I can, my apologies." Thor smiles sheepishly.

Your ears perk up at the all too familiar voice of the god of thunder. Moving everyone of the way, you leap to hug him. "Thor!"

"Happy birthday, dearest Y/N." He grins and pats you on the head. "I'm afraid my - I mean - our gift, is with Loki at the moment."

"Enough with the formality, I’m just glad you’re here.”

Peter rings up Tony to tell him everything's set up at the huge building they rented for your low-key party. Just the Avengers. Peter, Vision and Wanda were in charge of setting things up over there, from decorations and food. Sam and Bucky also helped a bit before they arrived at the fake base.

So you all get into the jet again, this time you look at the windows in awe to see what the city's like. You also asked a bunch of questions on how they pulled something stupid but unique fake mission like that.

Once you've reached your destination, the place was simple yet big enough to fit everyone. Tony really took notes for this year. You didn't like anything too fancy or elegant, and you didn't like huge-ass parties with hundreds of people you've never met before.

Here you're with your family eating, drinking booze and playing games, generally having a good time.

You give the other five Avengers big hugs. Vision's never usually a hugger but for you he made an exception just for today. Everyone was surprised when he lifted you off your feet and spun you around.

"Hugging has a lot of good benefits," Vision says when he lets you go. "Astounding, I know. It is recommended eight times a day, hopefully you've already gotten that much."

You giggle at his remark and Wanda rolls her eyes playfully. “Thank you, Vision.”

“Splendid, that means I don’t have to give you one.”

You turn around to see the god of mischief himself carefully hand you a wrapped box. Loki chuckles when you smile at him. “Happiest Birthday.”

“Loki.... you know you and Thor didn’t have to-”

“Thor? That one’s from me. I assure you.”

“Y/N!” You hear Tony call from the other side of the room. “It’s time for presents, little miss. Good lord this looks like Christmas morning.”

-

unfortunatley i am that extra to post a birthday fic woo hoo

[bau-hugs]

ahhh can you please do more autistic spencer reid headcanons they make me (an autistic person) so so so happy ahhhhh (only if you want to !!!)

I am forever willing to write more autistic Spencer Reid headcanons

Spencer’s capacity for maintaining eye contact varies day to day and the team gets used to having conversations with Reid while talking to the side of his head or while he’s looking up at the ceiling like it holds the secrets to the universe. They run into a couple of problems with small-town sheriffs forcing eye contact from Spencer—JJ tends to be the one to step in and put an end to it, usually plastering on her media liaison smile to get them off of Reid’s back

He gets infantilized a lot by cops who think Spencer is incapable and only understands baby talk (which makes no sense if they’d actually listen to a single thing he has to say). Half the time Reid doesn’t even notice—he’s never really been good at recognizing ill will in social interactions—but the team still gets absolutely furious on his behalf. Emily and Derek are the ones most often to lose their cool, not scared of causing a scene to get the cops to stop talking to Reid like a toddler (Reid hates that they do this, he’s rather so just walk around oblivious to their ignorance than cause a scene but he knows that his team is just trying to protect him so he’s learned to let them)

Derek eventually learns which stims are Reid’s happy ones and which ones mean he’s anxious or upset. With Reid, it’s hard to tell how he’s feeling from facial expressions alone because Spencer tends to either over-exaggerate his facial expressions or walk around with a blank look on his face. (Spencer sometimes gets frustrated that Derek can so easily tell how he’s feeling even when Spencer himself is having a hard time figuring it out but, still, he’s grateful)

Spencer is constantly forgetting his sunglasses to block out bright lights, often walking around on cases squinting and fighting off a migraine (or, worse, a meltdown). Knowing he probably needs them more than her, Emily loans her pair of sunglasses to Spencer whenever he needs them. He always takes them gratefully—if not a little guiltily—and doesn’t notice the double takes he gets from strangers for wearing a pair of woman’s sunglasses (I mean, what is gender, right?)

Derek keeps a mental list of special interests to ask Spencer about after tough cases so that he can info-dump on the jet ride home instead of having to think about the case they just finished (and of course Spencer never passes up an opportunity to talk about things like 1300’s classical music or the history of calculus)

Spencer sometimes just walks up and down the aisles of the jet—which used to drive Gideon insane—to get some of his energy out and calm down. He isn’t quite confident enough to do obvious stims like flapping his hands in front of the entire team but pacing is generally a normal thing that people do (at least he’s pretty sure it is) so he has no problem following the same exact footsteps over and over again until he needs to sit down for landing—Hotch is half-convinced he’ll someday wear a hole in the floor and fall through the bottom of the plane with how fast he walks up and down the aisle.

Spencer gets really jumpy when he’s close to having a meltdown. He’s very sensitive to noise so he tends to have a very exaggerated startle response when he’s start to have a meltdown which has led to some not-so-fun situations (JJ once tapped Spencer in the shoulder why they were on the plane, one thing led to another and he ended up on the floor)

Spencer hates his hair. Like, half the time he considers going bald because the feeling of his hair on his face and neck drives him insane. He changes his hair so often because he’s trying to find a style that he likes but so far nothing has worked for very long. He used to get JJ to cut his hair for him because she was always willing to help him out but once Emily joins the team—and starts joining his and JJ’s haircutting sessions because she practically lives at JJ’s—Emily becomes the one to start cutting his hair (she’s better at it, a little more attentive to detail like she understands his sensory issues more than JJ ever could, and is usually the one to cut JJ’s hair and save a few bucks anyway so might as well do Spencer’s as well)

[sundaysundaes]

Jealousy

Lee Donghyuck/Haechan X Reader | Smut, Fluff, Drama | NC-17 | College AU Summary: It comes as a nice surprise when you saw your ex-boyfriend at your workplace and you thought everything was going to be fine. You both have moved on, right? Unfortunately for you, your boyfriend, Lee Donghyuck, thinks otherwise.

Warnings: rough unprotected sex, oral sex, slight choking, slight dirty talk, this is just pure filth you guys I’m so sorry I had too much feels

It’s the continuation of Before Our Story Began but can still be read separately if you want.

It has been months since you first dated Lee Donghyuck, also popularly known as Lee Haechan, and things were great—more than great, even, but all good things have come to an end at one point. Your relationship with Haechan is still going pretty strong, but now that you have passed the Honeymoon Phase—where it’s all just sex and raw passion—things can sometimes get a little tense.

While he’s been certainly fun and charming for the most times you’ve been together, not to mention adventurous when it comes to sex, Haechan can be really stubborn and selfish that you often start to bicker with him over the simplest of things.

Like yesterday, for example.

“Look, I said I’m sorry!” He whined and you held yourself back from rolling your eyes because that was so him and it wasn’t really cute anymore. Especially after he arrived an hour late at the cafe that he’d asked you to meet a day before.

“I’m not angry,” you stated, emptying the rest of your coffee. On the other side, Haechan’s ice americano was still pretty much full considering he just got there and you had ordered the drink for him an hour before, thinking that he was going to be on time for your date. But no, he was so into the new online game Jaemin had told him about a week ago that he began to lose track of time. It seemed to you that was all he’d been doing for the last few days, and you were fine with giving him some personal space but clearly not if he was wasting your precious time instead. Not everybody is as smart as him when it comes to keeping good grades. Maybe he doesn’t have to study much, but you do.

“You are! You’re totally angry!” He pointed out and you sighed because of course, I’m angry, you idiot, I had to spend an hour by myself doing literally nothing because you asked me to go out when I’m supposed to be working on my papers that’s due tomorrow but you kept yourself in silence. You had to be the adult in the relationship, especially when you’re dating a goddamn brat.

“Whatever.” You placed back your phone—which had been your only companion—into your purse and wore back your coat. “I have to go.”

His eyebrows—his thick, beautiful eyebrows that you love so much (though not that day) were knitted in both desperation and annoyance from how you acted. “Noona!” He wailed, grabbing your hand when you stood up from your seat. “What do you want me to do? If I could go back to the past, I would, but I can’t and you being unreasonably angry like this isn’t—”

“Unreasonably?”

Haechan’s jaw hung slackly on his face when he noticed the anger radiating off your body. You were angry before but not this angry. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong.”

You clicked your tongue in irritation, pulling your hand out of his grip. “I’ll see you later, Donghyuck.” It was cold, the way you said it, and Haechan sensed that. But being the whiny brat that he was, he just kept on shouting back, gathering people’s attention.

“Can’t we be adults and talk about this—Yah!” When you didn’t answer—or even glanced back at him—he threw his hands in the air, yelling, “You know what? Fine! I don’t really want to hang out with you anyway! In fact, it’s actually better for me if we don’t hang, ever!”

But you already had your feet out of the door.

On the next day, he came by to your dorm at four in the morning, making your roommate groan with a hellish fire burning in her eyes. “If that’s your boyfriend, I am going to kill him.”

“Don’t bother, I will,” you muttered in response before you stepped down from your bed, turned on the lighting (which earned another loud groan from your friend), and reached for the door. Haechan stood there with his hair looking like a bird’s nest, his cheeks reddening from the morning cold, and his eyes bleary from lacking sleep.

“I’m sorry,” he softly said in all of the sincerity he could emit. “I’ve been an asshole.”

“It’s four in the morning, Haechan-ah.”

“I know, but I can’t sleep thinking about what happened before and I don’t think I can before you forgive me.” He did his best pout. It was cute, but not cute enough to wash your vexation away. “Also, it’s raining heavily outside, if you haven’t noticed, so I thought it would add some dramatic effects to my apology.”

“You’re not wet though.”

“Neither were you before you met me,” he joked, wiggling his eyebrows but when he noticed you glaring at him in reticence—oh if looks could kill—he flinched and hastily added, “Sorry, bad timing. I don’t know why I said that. Well, umm, it was kinda cold when I stepped under the rain so I decided to just bring an umbrella with me.” He suddenly seemed like he remembered something. “Oh yeah, can I leave it here? I’ve got an early class today and I don’t really want to carry it with me everywhere.”

That earned another flat stare from you. “You’re not taking any of this seriously, are you?”

“I am! I swear!” He squeaked, shuffling inside his bag before he took out a white box with a red bow wrapped around it. “Look, I brought you some chocolates.”

“I’m on a diet.”

“Well, now, how am I supposed to know?”

“I literally told you that yesterday.” To say he was testing your patience would be an understatement at that point. “Remember? When you arrived late on our date and you asked why aren’t you ordering anything and I said I’m on a fucking diet!”

“Yo, chill, I was just trying to be nice.” Haechan grabbed you by the shoulders, massaging the sore spots and it would probably feel good if you weren’t so pissed-off over his antics. “Also, Noona, don’t you know? Men have a harder time remembering things than women do. And that’s just scientifically speaking, not me.”

You exhaled so loudly into the air, slapping his hands away. “Look, it’s literally four in the morning. Can we talk again when the sun is up? Like normal people?”

“Noona, pleaseeeeee.” He threw his head back in exasperation. “I said I’m sorry! What else do you wa—”

“JUST FORGIVE HIM FOR FUCK’S SAKE! YOU GUYS ARE TAKING FOREVER AND YOU’RE GIVING ME HEADACHES!��� Maybe you and Haechan were getting a bit loud, but your roommate was just shouting like she was about to march on a war so you didn’t really have the choice. It was either take your boyfriend’s apology or have your roommate kill both you and your boyfriend at the same time.

Haechan sheepishly and annoyingly smiled at you. “She’s got a point, you know.”

But, of course, he does learn his lesson from time-to-time so things don’t always end up in fights. And Haechan can be considerate, if he wants, noticing the little things that you do. Like when you’re wearing a new skirt (or new underwear, for that matter), giving you his jacket when you sniffle from the cold (as cheesy as that sounds, it does make your heart flutter a bit), or intertwining your fingers together when you’re nervous before your presentation.

Hopefully today this considerate version of his comes out to play again because there’s something you want to talk about with him.

“I think I need to start looking for a part-time job,” you say, sighing contently as he has his lips on your neck, suckling on the soft skin. Your fingers are playing with the soft strands of his hair, unconsciously tugging at them when he brings his tongue into the game. You know it’s not really the best time to have this conversation—especially not when he has his hand under your shirt as you sit on his lap at the back of his car—but with Haechan, it’s almost always like this whenever you’re alone with him so you don’t really have that many options. “I’m running out of money.”

“From dumping too many dead bodies in the swamp?” He chuckles next to your ear, unbuttoning more of your shirt and pushing the fabric off your shoulder. “Babe, I’ve told you,” he mouths against your skin. “You gotta search for a new swamp that’s free of charge—”

“Shut up.” But you’re laughing anyway. This inside joke you two have has become somewhat of a routine—a topic that pops out anytime in any conversation.

You can feel his grin pressing against the sensitive skin below your ear. “Told ya this swamp thing could be our thing.”

“No, I’m serious.” But despite that, you have to hold back a moan when you feel his hand roaming around your chest, his fingers slipping underneath your bra. You can’t tell him exactly why you need this job because you don’t want him to feel sorry for you. But the truth is, your parents back home have been having financial problems and you know how costly your college tuition can get. You just want to help out, even if it’s not much, and try to survive on your own without using your parents’ money. “I need some pocket money.”

Haechan has your earlobe between his teeth, his breathing feels warm and extremely sexy in your ears. “Mmm, for what?”

“To buy personal things.”

“What personal things?”

“Like…” You bite your lower lip, having the hardest time concentrating when he starts to play with your nipple, his thumb brushing against the sensitive bud. “I don’t know, like girl things.”

Haechan suddenly pulls away, looking you straight in the eyes with his own gleaming in excitement. “You mean like a customized dildo?”

“Make-up, Donghyuck.” You flatly stare back. All your sexual excitement from before? Gone. “I mean, make-up.”

“Sure, that too. But,” he insists and you roll your eyes, knowing where this is going. “Have you ever considered playing with a dildo in your spare time? Because I have. I mean, picturing you using it. Not me using it in my ass, oh God, no.”

“Are you done?”

“No, seriously.” It turns out, he’s not finished. And he still has a long way to go, judging by the enthusiastic look in his eyes. “Because I would totally buy it for you if it’s a dildo you need. Or any sex toys, for that matter. No matter how expensive it is, I’ll pay! I’ll save up some money and buy some so we can use them together in the future!”

He’s making it look like he’s talking about buying a house for your future marriage and it’s cute and disgusting at the same time so you stop him by pinching the bridge of his nose. It’s pathetic, the way he whines, but as long as it can stop him from sputtering nonsense, you’ll do it again.

“Why do you need make-up anyway?” He eventually gives up, rubbing his red nose, still wincing from the pain. “You’re already pretty without it.” And it really does sound sincere, the way he says it. Haechan flirts a lot, even when you’ve been together for months, he still does it pretty often. But he does have his sincerity from time to time, just like now, and you can’t help but blush a little because of it.

“Well, I’m more confident with it.”

“Well, of course, you do look smoking hot with your make-up on, don’t get me wrong,” he adds, lazily circling his arms around your waist as he leans his back to the car’s seat. “But you’re beautiful the way you are too. Like, you literally can wear that I woke up like this shirt every morning and you won’t find me complaining.”

“You complained about my morning breath this morning.”

“That you should work on.”

“Asshole.” You push a palm against his face, which he licks playfully like a dog. This is your favorite Haechan, if you have to be honest, with his lips pulled back showcasing a boyish grin, his eyes sparkling as he gazes at you, and his voice sounding light and airy with a hint of teasing in his words. And of course, also with the way he has his hair slightly pushed back, his forehead shown and his eyebrows raised whenever he throws flirty lines at you.

You really should consider yourself lucky to be able to call someone like him, who has the perfect balance of cute and sexy, as your boyfriend.

“I really like you,” you say, abruptly out of nowhere that it surprises you too. Haechan’s laughter stops almost immediately, his eyes searching yours. There’s silence hanging in the air, slowly suffocating you, and you’re about to beg him to say something when he smiles, so gentle and soft, with his hand reaching up to cup your cheek, rubbing comforting circles with his thumb.

“I really like you too,” he says, almost like he’s sighing. His eyes go up-and-down your face, switching from your eyes and your lips. “I like you so much that it drives me crazy sometimes.”

It’s insane how fast he can turn your steady heart rate into something that beats too loudly for your ears. “Okay, stop right there. I can’t with all this cheesiness you’re throwing at me. Let’s just make-out.”

And that sexy smirk of his grows back almost immediately. “I won’t argue with that.”

***

It’s not easy getting a job these days, especially when you don’t really have a set of skills you can be proud of but luckily enough, you’ve found a part-time job as a waiter at a family restaurant nearby. The salary is slightly below your expectation so maybe you have to recalculate your budgeting again but beggars can’t be choosers. You thought it should be enough for now. And the most important thing is, you only have to work three days a week so you can fit in well with your campus’ schedule.

The only remaining problem is your boyfriend because, believe it or not, he demands more time than all of your classes and assignments combined.

“I can’t believe we have our Netflix account renewed like two months ago and yet we haven’t watched anything on it,” Haechan complains, a bag of popcorn on his lap. He’s in his black sweat pants, hair all tousled from lying around on the bed all day. He’s already munching more than he should, even way before you can log in to your Netflix account. “At this point, we’re just throwing our money away.”

“Don’t blame me,” you retort, taking the bowl into your arms so you can climb into his lap, snuggling close to his chest. “I’m not the one who got my dick hard during the first half of literally every movie we decided to watch together.”

“You literally rubbed your ass against my crotch every single time. What a man gotta do in that situation?”

A smile creeps up your face. That you certainly did. It’s just so funny to have him flinch every now and then whenever you move slightly in his arms so you often just exaggerate your movements a bit, sometimes leaning forward in a suggestive way whenever you tried to change the brightness of your MacBook screen—so Haechan could take a good look of your ass—before settling back between his legs, making sure to give him enough friction as you slid down. Or sometimes you just laid your head on his shoulder, pressing a random kiss to his neck, and just went back to watching the screen as if you didn’t do anything. It really didn’t take long before Haechan groaned in exasperation, threw the bowl away, tackled you down to the bed, and pulled your shorts down your legs.

“Should I move away then?” You offer. “We can stay, like, five feet apart from each other as we watch this.”

“Nah.” He shakes his head, pulling you closer again to his chest. “I like to snuggle. You’re warm and you smell really good, it comforts me. Besides, having sex with you is so much better than watching every movie out there.”

“Even better than watching The Kissing Booth?”

“Yah!” The way his cheeks turn scarlet almost immediately is too cute for you to handle. “You promised you wouldn’t make fun of me! See, this is why I—”

You cut him off with a chaste kiss, letting your lips linger on his the way he likes it before you pull away and pat him on the cheek. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. Forgive me?”

Haechan unconsciously juts his lower lip out, just a little. “Fine,” he mutters, wrapping his arms tighter around your waist before he skims his nose along the nape of your neck. “Only because you’re cute,” he whispers.

“Oh right, that reminds me,” you say, closing your eyes as you listen to his breathing. It’s somewhat calming your nerves, after a long day of doing… well, nothing, actually. “I’ll be busy every Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday from now on so we won’t be able to hang out during those days.”

“What?!” He shrieks, almost turning you deaf. “Why?!”

“Because I have my part-time job, didn’t I tell you that before?” You can honestly hear your ears ringing from the loudness of his voice. “Or did you not listen to me again?”

“I can handle it if you work during the weekdays, but on the weekends too?” He’s actually looking pretty upset, though not that you haven’t expected him to be. “That’s our time! How can you do that to me? To us?! This is so not fair!”

You roll your eyes. “Stop being a drama queen. You literally spent the last weekend playing Overwatch at Jaemin’s place.”

“Whoa, hey,” he crows, pulling away from you with both hands raised in the air and forcing you to turn and look at him in the eyes. You do it as you nonchalantly munch on your popcorn, enjoying how dramatic your boyfriend can be at times like this. “Once again, lady,” he stresses on the word, narrowing his eyes at you. “They were holding a very, very important Anniversary Event and that does not happen every day. It’s not like I have any other choice! They were giving out new skins and other rewards!”

“Your choice was to spend your Saturday night with your fingers on your keyboard or in me. That was your choice.”

Haechan opens his mouth to say something, already holding out one finger in the air as if he’s about to make a good excuse but he fails almost immediately when your point begins to sink in his head. “You’re right,” he admits, “I’m sorry. What was I thinking? I should’ve been wiser.”

You pat his hair as you would do to a child. “Look, we can still hang out. I only work during the day, you know. You can always pick me up after work and we can get dinner together or something.”

He pouts, lowering his head as he murmurs, “It’s still not the same, though. I like spending time with you.”

You can feel your heart flutter from the way he says his line so genuinely. “Me too, Haechannie. Let’s just promise to always meet up on the weekends after I’m done with my work.”

The pout still does not falter away but it’s nothing a kiss can’t fix.

***

“Haechannie, I really need to go.” You struggle to slip yourself away from his long arms, holding back a laugh as you do it, and you almost reach the end of his bed but your boyfriend easily hooks an arm around your waist and pulls you back into his chest.

After not seeing each other for five days, you could finally see your boyfriend with his dazzling bright smile in person when he picked you up after work on a Saturday evening. You didn’t realize how much you’d missed him until he snatched you back into his embrace, intoxicating you with his amazing scent and airy laughter that sounds like music to your ears. It was a good thing being separated for a few days like that because Haechan became much more clingy in the most adorable way, following you around like a lovesick puppy. Even during sex, he was all giggly and soft, gently asking you how you feel, whether he was being too fast, or simply just telling you how beautiful you look even when you were pretty much exhausted from work. It was a nice change.

Both of you are still pretty much naked from the morning shower you just took together—or rather, the morning shower you took when suddenly your boyfriend came barging in, greasily saying, “My, my, there’s a naked lady in my shower. This must be my lucky day,” and ended up moaning against your mouth instead of washing the soap off your body.

“I’m not done with you yet,” he says, smiling into the kiss just like you do and you let him part your lips with his, slowly slipping his tongue in and tasting the roof of your mouth. “Oh man, I must be a freak for being so turned on from the fact that you’re wearing my shampoo.”

“You’ve always been a freak,” you snicker, pushing his face away with your palm. “Now, get off me. Jaemin can come back any second.”

“Jaemin’s too busy sucking Jeno’s morning wood, I’m sure. He won’t be back anytime soon.”

“Well, my shift is starting in thirty minutes.”

“Which leaves us twenty-nine minutes and fifty seconds to get each other off and ten seconds for you to get ready.” He lowly chuckles, his voice still sounding quite deep from sleep as he nips against the column of your neck.

“I’m serious…” You can tell that your voice becomes way less convincing. It’s just Haechan feels so warm and he smells so good, you have to literally offer your best effort to deny him and his touches. You’re still in the middle of putting in that so-called effort when you notice he’s sucking on the supple skin, to the point it begins to hurt a little bit. “Don’t suck too hard! You’ll leave bruises and I am not gonna wear a scarf again.”

“Good,” he murmurs against your skin. “So everyone will know you’re mine.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I.”

You sigh, tangling your fingers around his hair, arching your back to press your body closer to him. “You can be too possessive sometimes, do you know that?”

“Any man would if their girlfriend is as pretty as you,” he replies, pulling away from you a little so he can bore his eyes into yours. “Stay with me today.”

As much as you want to, especially with that hooded eyes looking at you with so much passion and desire, you have to be the responsible adult for today. “I can’t, Haechannie.”

“Noona~” His serious demeanor falters, and the whiny brat that he is comes back to the surface again. “Pleaseeee~ I’m lonely and I’m hard, can’t you just be kind to me for just one day?”

“Are you using your aegyo on me to get a quickie? Seriously?”

“What, it’s not working?” He tilts his head to the side, looking at you with that sexy smirk and his eyebrow raised seductively. “I thought aegyo was your thing.”

No, but your goddamn smirk and eyebrow raise surely are. “Fuck, okay, ten minutes. Can we finish in ten minutes?”

“I can guarantee that you will.” His smirk grows wider, licking his lower lip. “But I’m not sure if you can make me.”

“Is that a challenge?” You push him with both hands until he falls back to the bed, with you straddling his lap. “I’m going to make you take your words back, Lee Donghyuck, you better be prepared.”

***

You’ve broken two plates so far, and you’re sure you’re about to be fired if you even do a tiny mistake in the next hour but you try to keep yourself calm and composed and promise yourself to do better. It’s not that you’re a lousy waiter—okay, maybe a bit from the lack of experience—but the restaurant you’re working in can be surprisingly packed during lunch hours and it’s really taking all that you have to carry three porcelain plates on a tray as you walk on high heels that are killing you in every step you take. You often complain about the blisters at the back of your heels when you sit next to Haechan in his car, which usually ends up with him massaging your feet, while mumbling, “See, this is why you should’ve agreed with me when I told you about buying dildos. I would work my ass off to pay for that, and you can just lie around in my room all day.”

You’re getting better at your job the more days go by, and you’re much confident now in talking with customers. You’re already standing pretty in your uniform with a menu book in your arms, ready to greet the next customer but when the front door opens, all of your professionalism just goes straight out of the window.

“No way…” Your jaw hangs loosely on your face, eyes blinking twice in surprise. You can’t believe what you’re seeing. There, walking through the entrance door of the restaurant, is your ex-boyfriend from high school, Jeong Jaehyun. Dressed perfectly in a light blue buttoned-up shirt and a pair of black khaki pants, Jaehyun looks much, much better than how you remembered him to be. His dark hair stands in contrast to his pale skin, his veins appearing along his wrists and you have to remind yourself to stop staring and proceed with your work.

You take hesitant steps to meet him, swallowing your nervous breath and hoping that you don’t look as awkward as you think. You almost trip on your own feet when you notice Jaehyun looking back at you, his eyes widening in surprise before his lips turn upward into that gentle smile that reminds you of how he used to be back in high school. Maybe some things never change.

“Hi,” you greet with an awkward smile on your face.

“Hey.” The way his eyes droop slightly when he sees you feels nostalgic, and perhaps he’s much taller now because you have to look up to meet his eyes. “I can’t believe I’m seeing you. It’s been a while.”

“You’re right,” you reply, chuckling a little to mask how tense you really are. “Would you like me to take you to your seat?”

“Oh no, I won’t be long,” he says, running a hand through his hair. “I just wanted to talk to the manager for a sec.”

You furrow your eyebrows, trying your best not to get distracted with the way his hair ruffles almost perfectly under his touch. “Is there something wrong?”

“No, just wanted to see the latest financial report.” He smiles, showcasing his teeth. “My grandfather owns this place, and I’m helping him take care of the business while he’s overseas.”

Fuck. “A-ah, is that so?” Meeting him once as a customer is already painfully awkward enough for you to bear, but actually working for him?!

“I won’t bother you, I promise,” Jaehyun immediately adds, “I wasn’t aware that you work here, actually. Has it been long since you started?”

“About two weeks.” You fidget on your feet, having the hardest time making eye contact with him. “And I’m not very good at this.”

“Wait, are you the one who keeps breaking plates?”

You wince. “Yes. Can you please not fire me? I’ll pay for them, I promise.”

And Jaehyun laughs, his deep voice booming into the air. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll pay for them myself if that’s what it takes to keep you around.” He says his lines so naturally that it surprises you both when the words finally sink in. “I—I mean,” he clears his throat, “It’s just really been a while since I last saw you so I thought we should really catch up on things. How are you?”

“I’m—”

“Boss,” your manager suddenly comes to interrupt, carrying some paper sheets in her arms. “These are the reports you wanted. I can e-mail you the rest if you need more details.” And when she sees you standing next to Jaehyun with the worst looking smile you’ve ever had on your face, she squints her eyes menacingly at you, “What did you do this time?”

“She didn’t do anything,” Jaehyun hastily answers before you can even form a word of protest. “She’s a dear friend of mine. It’s been a while since we talked, so do you mind if I borrow her for a while?”

Your manager seems utterly shocked and you kind of dance happily in your mind because she’s been kind of mean to you—though you were the one who gave her the reasons to be—and seeing her speechless, only able to mumble out a small, “S-sure,” before she trails away back to her office like this becomes the highlight of your day.

“Thank you,” you say to him, not sure why but it feels right.

“Let me know if she bullies you again,” he says, gently patting you on the head and you can feel his fingers slowly brush your bangs off your temple. It seems like he’s unaware of what he’s doing and you can understand why because that’s just his habit, even from the time when you hadn’t started dating yet. You remember the time when he said he liked your eyes—he thought they were beautiful, and hiding them under your bangs like that was a shame.

You take a step back, looking anywhere but his eyes. “Umm…”

“Right, sorry,” he fumbles with his hands, the tip of his ears growing red. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Can we just sit and talk?”

You smile, genuinely this time. He really hasn’t changed despite his appearance. “Sure.”

***

Jaehyun doesn’t visit the restaurant every day and you don’t really expect him to, but when he does, he always spares some time to talk to you privately—usually during your break time so your manager can stop throwing ice daggers from her eyes at you.

“I’ve tried to call you after graduation,” he confesses as he takes you out for some coffee at the nearest cafe. Your shift is over and you’re waiting for Haechan to pick you up but he’s running late because he has to take a quiz that he missed from skipping the class the previous week—you guess it had something to do with him pulling an all-nighter playing Overwatch again—and you told him to take his time.

“You did?”

“Yeah. Several times, actually, but I couldn’t get connected.”

“Maybe you called after I lost my phone,” you reply, taking a sip of your hot latte and wincing when it nearly scalds your tongue. “I had to change my number. I lost my contacts and everything.”

“That makes sense. Would it be okay if I ask for your numbers now?”

“Only for business purposes,” you tease, and he grins back, almost boyishly.

“Only for business purposes,” he confirms, “Just so I can give you a heads-up when I’m about to fire you.”

You gasp, half-amused, half-terrified. “Please tell me you’re joking.” And he only responds with another laugh. Talking with Jaehyun is easy and comforting, and he really listens to what you’re saying like a loving older brother taking care of his sister. It’s a nice change considering it’s always you who have to act like the mature one when having a conversation with Haechan—not that it isn’t good. It just can get quite tiring after some time.

Jaehyun is in the middle of walking you back to your workplace when he tells you stories about the things he did after graduation, and how he’s planning to continue with his study overseas to get a master’s degree in business management as soon as he’s done with his work here. You’re so entranced with his story that you barely notice your boyfriend waiting with his back pressed against the side of his car, eyes busy staring at his phone screen.

“Haechannie, you’re here!” You run to his spot, a grin spreading wide on your face before you lean up and kiss his cheek.“When did you get here?”

“Noonaaaaa,” he pouts, voice becoming whiny as usual. Compared to how he acts, he’s dressed maturely in a white shirt and a black leather jacket, his silver necklace hanging low on his neck. It takes you a good five seconds to ogle at his amazing looks while telling your heart not to get too excited. At least not until you get back at the dorm so you can rip that shirt off him with your own hands. “I’ve been calling you three times already. Where have you been?”

“You have?” You immediately check on your phone, noticing that yes, in fact, he did call you three times. You didn’t notice before because your phone was on silent. “I’m sorry, I forgot to switch it back after work. Did you wait long?”

“A bit,” he pushes his bottom lip out but it soon turns into a cheeky grin. “But nothing a kiss can’t fix.”

“Haechannie.” You pat him softly on his cheek. “We’ve got company.” And at that, he begins to widen his line of sight—because he usually just focuses on you and forgets his surroundings—and spots Jaehyun standing a few meters behind you with his hands buried deep within the pockets of his pants.

“Oh,” he comments, acting nonchalant though you notice by the slight raise of his eyebrow that he’s already annoyed by his presence. “Who are you?”

It’s kind of rude to suddenly ask for his name, especially in the cold tone Haechan is using and Jaehyun’s lips twitch at his words. “Jeong Jaehyun.”

“Well, Jeong Jaehyun,” Haechan says with mockery on his tone, straightening his posture and you wonder whether it’s because he feels slightly inferior to Jaehyun’s height. “My girlfriend and I would like some privacy from now on, so if you can just run along now, that’d be great.”

“Hey!” You slap his shoulder, gasping in disbelief before you turn around to face the other man. “I’m sorry, he can be quite rude sometimes but I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”

“Meant it with all my heart.”

“Be quiet.” And even Haechan can tell for his own good that he shouldn’t push your buttons further than that.

“It’s okay, I have to go anyway,” Jaehyun casually says, smiling angelically like how he always does though his eyes don’t really play along. “Your boyfriend is cute. How old are you? Does your mom know you’re still playing outside at this hour?”

Oh my God, not you too. You immediately grab Haechan’s hand to stop him before he flings himself forward and throws an arm toward the other man. You can see him clenching his jaw, almost baring his teeth when Jaehyun laughs quietly to himself, saying, “I’m just kidding. Have a good night, you two,” before he walks back to the restaurant, most likely to have another business talk with the manager.

“Who the fuck does he think he is?” Haechan blurts out, his eyebrows knitted together in annoyance. You stroke his arm, trying to soothe him down but what he does is relocating his glare on you instead, almost yelling, “Why were you with him?  How many times have you guys seen each other? And why on earth did you take his side?!”

You’re too tired to care, to be honest, let alone answering him. You’re also suffering from the cold of the night, wanting desperately to climb into Haechan’s car and put on the heater to warm yourself up. “I’ll explain on our way back,” you sniffle, squeezing his hand. “Can we get inside the car? Please? I’m freezing.”

You can tell he’s still very much upset but his gaze softens when he sees puffs of air flowing from your chapped lips and your nose turning red. He sighs into the air but opens the door for you. He doesn’t really talk until he has his engine started, and you can practically see steam coming out from his ears as he drives into the night.

“Have you had dinner yet?” You ask, trying to keep as casual as you can.

“No.”

“Should we order something—”

“I’m not hungry.”

“O… kay…” You hold yourself back from sighing too loud. He’s testing your patience again, but it’s fine, you’re the mature one. You can handle this. “We’ll just go straight back to my place then. I’m sure I can make you something. I think I still have some pasta with—”

“I think I’m just gonna go back to my room right after I drop you off.” His words don’t hurt as much as the tone he’s using. You’re trying to patch things up even though you’re sure you haven’t done anything wrong but he’s not even trying to apologize about how rude he acted earlier. You can’t help but snap, probably because your fatigue is taking its toll. You figure you can act mature any other time, but not today.

“Okay, what is wrong with you?” You can feel your voice rising and it forces him to sneaks a glance at you but only for a split second before he brings back his eyes on the road again. “I’ve been trying to be nice to you but you keep on acting like a brat—”

“Oh, of course, now you have a problem with me being a brat.” He grits his teeth, sinking his nails into the steering wheel. “I think we both know that’s pretty much how I act around you—around anyone, really—and if I remember it clearly, you said being a brat was part of my charm. That was, of course, before you met this oh-so-mature Jung fucking Jaehyun and suddenly, now, I’m fucking annoying.”

“I didn’t just meet him, Hyuck.” You exhale loudly, rolling your eyes. “I’ve been friends with him since high school.”

He clicks his tongue in aggravation, quietly adding, “Friends that fucked each other whenever your parents weren’t around, I’m sure.” And he probably didn’t mean his words to be heard because he just said them out of spite, but you did hear him and it makes your blood sparks in fury.

“Actually, yes,” you jeer back, “We did. He was the one who took my virginity away, just so you know and—WHOA!”

The sudden turn of the wheels makes you yelp and scramble to wrap your fingers tightly around your seatbelt as if you were hanging for dear life, and Haechan suddenly stomps his feet on the brakes, messily parking his car on the side of the street and earning a lot of angry car honks from the drivers behind him in return.

“What?!” He shouts, eyes wide, completely ignoring the passerby or the fact that you’re still trying to catch your breath. “You had sex with him?!”

“Once, Donghyuck, Jesus Christ!” You almost yank every strand of your hair out of your head. “Just once! And I never did that with anyone else until I met you!”

“I can’t believe you never told me this! And now you just hang around with him behind my back?!”

“What’s there to tell?! It’s in the past, way back when I didn’t even know your name. It’s not like you tell me things like this too. I don’t have problems with you sleeping with hundreds of girls before you met me.”

The sudden silence that surrounds you snap you back to reality and you regret everything you just said because you know you didn’t mean it. Well, it certainly has been bugging you for quite some time whenever you think about how easy and casual he’s always been when it comes to sex—not to mention how experienced he is—so you can’t help but wonder. You do understand that it’s not fair blurting about it to him like this, though. Especially not in this situation.

And the way he just suddenly becomes mute almost makes you shudder.

“Hyuck, I didn’t mean—”

“So that’s how you think of me?” He asks, voice low and deep. “Is that the reason why you’re seeing him? Because you don’t trust me?”

“Oh my God, Donghyuck,” you almost scream from all this frustration you’re venting out. “This is getting out of hand. Okay, first, that was wrong of me to say that and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of it. And second, stop being so jealous—I was only out with him to get some coffee. We no longer have feelings for each other, I can assure you that.”

“Yeah,” he snorts, “Sure. Whatever.”

“Hyuck, he’s my boss! I was just being polite—”

“Well, that’s just fucking great, isn’t it? No wonder you keep insisting on taking this job. It’s not even about the money now, is it?” He slams his hand against the steering wheel, groaning out, “I’m so fucking stupid,” before he throws his head to the side, glaring at the scenery outside his window instead of you.

There’s silence hanging in the air again and you take a deep breath to calm yourself as much as you can because you know where this is going. You just hope you’re wrong. “Why does it sound like you’re accusing me of cheating on you?”

“Because maybe deep down, that’s what you’re doing?” He’s not even looking at you when he says it, but the bitterness in his voice is clear and it’s loud enough to finally tweak the final string of patience you have left in you.

So you grab your purse, carry your jacket in one arm and step down from the car. “I’m taking a cab,” you say and when he still doesn’t look at you, you add, “Come talk to me when you’re mature enough to have this conversation.”

And not knowing your own strength, you slam the door until his ears begin to ring.

***

It’s the worst fight you’ve ever had, not just with him but with anyone else too. You’re more the type that avoids situations like this—one that says sorry even when you know you’re not doing anything wrong just to reduce the tension, so this fight you’re having with Haechan has been ruining your mood for a whole damn week since day one. And the fact that he doesn’t come to apologize or even send a text or two is driving you insane.

You can’t help but to dwell in his way of thinking, trying to see whether it’s really your fault that this is happening. Yes, maybe you should’ve explained better, but he wasn’t really giving you the chance to do it, was he? And yes, maybe you should’ve told him about you hanging out with Jaehyun every now and then or the fact that he’s your boss but you just couldn’t find the right timing before. Well, it’s certainly too late to start now.

Should I call him…?

Because you miss him. You miss Haechan so badly. You miss his bratty smile, you miss his annoying whine, you miss his stupid dazzling smile, you miss his scent, his kiss, his embrace—everything about him. You didn’t realize how close he was to you—already becoming a big part of your life—and you just really notice it now when he’s completely out of your sight.

“Fuck this.” You’re in the middle of searching his name in your contacts and about to press dial when suddenly you get his message.

Can we meet tomorrow?

It’s really weird that a simple text can make your heart race and almost send you jumping in delight. Trying to keep your heart rate back to normal, you type back.

Of course. What time? Where?

You wait for his reply and it seems like the time suddenly slows down where seconds feel like hours. You nibble at your bottom lip, hesitating at first but sending it anyway.

I miss you, Haechannie.

Your heart starts hammering against your ribcage again. A lot of thoughts begin entering your mind at the same time, making you worry about what if he wants to meet me because he wants to break up with me? What if he doesn’t miss me and he’s grossed out with my text? What if—

His reply arrives with a slight ding coming from your phone, and with shaky hands, you open his text.

I’ll text you the time and place tomorrow morning.

There’s a disappointment that bubbles up inside your chest but the next text from him erases all of that almost instantly.

I miss you too, Noona. Good night.

And you think that maybe tonight, you can finally have a good sleep.

***

“Can you fill in for tonight?”

It’s the first thing your manager said to you the second you stepped inside the restaurant. You haven’t even taken your jacket yet, and it’s really rare to see your manager walking around the place on a Sunday morning but here she is, and she’s already ordering things around.

Your mouth suddenly feels dry. “Pardon?”

“There will be a banquet tonight for the Jeong family and we need every waiter we can get. I know you’re lousy at your job but Jaehyun-Sajangnim seems to like you so I hope you can stick longer for a few hours.”

“I…” You wet your lower lip anxiously. “I can’t. I already promised someone—”

“Look, this is not a request. It’s an order.” She seems like she’s running out of patience. “But I’ll pay handsomely for your time. I think you need the money to pay for those two plates you broke anyway. You know how expensive they are.”

You wince. “Yes, Ma’am.” It’s not like she’s leaving you with any other option. You figure you can call Haechan later during your break time. It’s still not confirmed anyway, your date with him. You’ll think of a way to make it up to him.

It’s only for a few hours anyway, right?

I’ll just text him now. You dip your hand into your purse, trying to find your iPhone as fast as you can. You run your fingers along the screen, typing letters with your thumbs.

Haechannie, something came up and I have to stay longer at work. I’ll see you later tonight at your place and we can talk then.

“What are you doing standing around like that?” Your manager suddenly shouts and you almost drop your phone in surprise. “Go and change your uniform now, we’re opening the place in ten minutes!”

“Y-yes, Ma’am!” You fumble with your steps, throwing your phone back into your purse in a hurry. You inwardly sigh. Today is going to be a long day.

I’m sorry, Haechannie.

***

“Great work today,” Jaehyun says when most of his family members have left the restaurant. You didn’t realize how big and wealthy his family was so it amazed you that one family could occupy the whole seatings they have in this place. There were more than thirty people in the room before and you had to change your high heels into a pair of flat shoes so you can run from one table to another while carrying several plates at once.

“Not really, I almost broke another plate today,” you respond with a sigh, which earns a low chuckle in return. Jaehyun has his back leaning against the wall just an arms reach away from the front door, waiting for you to finish shoving all your belongings into your bag before he curls his fingers around the doorknob and twists it open.

“Thanks,” you say, almost sheepishly because it looks weird, no matter how you see it—your boss is opening the door for you. “Stop being so nice, Jae, you’re making other staff jealous.”

“But I do this to all my staff,” Jaehyun snickers, following after your trail.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Hey,” he calls, placing his hand on your shoulder so you’ll stop on your track and turn around to face him. “Thank you.”

You raise your eyebrow questioningly. “For what?”

“For acting like how you normally do around me,” he explains, smiling a little bit bashfully. “For not being so awkward after our break-up.”

“Oh… Well…” You try to focus your gaze somewhere else, suddenly finding the  silver watch you wear around your wrist entertaining. “It’s been years since then, I think we both have moved on by now, right?”

There’s a thick tension growing between the two of you and you almost beg him to say something before it starts to suffocate you.

“Sure,” he says, but the pressure in his tone speaks otherwise. You look up to meet his eyes, expecting him to smile and bring another topic into the conversation, but all he does is just gazing at you with these gentle, almost longing eyes that make your heart stops for a split second.

You know this can’t go any further.

“Well, uhh,” Jaehyun clears his throat, running a hand through his hair, perhaps feeling rather embarrassed himself. “It’s already late. Do you want me to escort you back to your place?”

And you find it hard to form a sentence, still somewhat baffled from the way he’s acting around you, and you’re so unfocused that when another voice enters your hearing, it shocks you down to your spine.

“I’ll be taking her from here,” Haechan says, startling you both and you turn around so fast on your heel to face him that you almost stumble forward. Your boyfriend is standing with one hand carrying a black suit and another one digging inside the pocket of his pants, dressed nicely in a white buttoned up with sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He has the top two buttons of his shirt loosened, showing a glimpse of his collar bones and the silver necklace he usually hangs around his neck. His short brown hair is parted to the side, slightly pushed back to showcase his temple. You’ve never seen him dressed so sharp and elegantly before since the first day you met him and you can’t help but feel a little bit starstruck from the way he looks. But you soon realize that there must be a reason why he’s so dressed up and you feel terrible because you don’t know what it is.

What day is it today?

“Haechan—”

The way he grabs your hand shows how agitated he actually is despite the calm facade he places on his face, and it’s glaringly possessive the way he drags you to match his step on the way to his car but you follow him without a word, not even sparing a glance at Jaehyun who’s looking at him as if he just stole something important from him. Haechan opens the door to the passenger seat, and you climb in with your heart thrumming loud against your chest.

Haechan walks to the other side without making eye contact with Jaehyun but even at that point, your ex-boyfriend doesn’t dare to say a word or make a move, probably because he knows he has no right to do so. Haechan does not look angry and neither does he act like it but the quietness that fills the space between you, even when his car engine is blaring noisily outside, speaks louder than everything that he does.

“Umm.” You suddenly feel parched, your throat burning with every word you try to form. “T-thank you for picking me up.” You’re about to flinch from how terrible you just sounded. “I thought you were waiting at the dorm. Didn’t you get my text?”

It takes a few seconds that feel like forever for him to answer. “I don’t know, did you send me one?” He simply asks, voice flat and nonchalant, as he switches the gears of his car.

Did I not? You gulp in horror and begin to frantically search for your phone in your purse. Your heart almost leaps out from your chest when you see your phone is dead, probably ran out of battery sometimes during your hectic hours. You didn’t check on it before because you thought that Haechan most likely had seen your text and was waiting for you at the dorm, so you decided to just run in a hurry without texting him that your shift had ended. You were also busy talking with Jaehyun and felt it wouldn’t be polite for you to check on your phone while he was around.

But, as you connect your phone to your power bank, turning it on, and run your thumbs along the screen, you notice one thing: you didn’t send him anything.

“I’m—” A shiver runs down your spine. “I’m sure I texted you before—why—” You remember how your manager suddenly interrupted you when you were about to send the text. You must have forgotten to press send, and seeing how there are suddenly a lot of messages coming to your phone at once from him makes your heart drop to the floor.

I’ve made a reservation at Boccalino at 7 p.m. I know how you’ve always wanted to go there. Wear something nice.

Where are you now? Are you still at work? Do you want me to pick you up?

You’re probably busy at work. I’ll just see you at our table, okay? Don’t be late.

I haven’t heard from you. Where are you? I’m on my way to the restaurant to make sure our reservation is still on.

All my calls are going straight to voicemails. Where are you?

You’re an hour late. Where are you?!

You can feel the tremble in your fingertips as you hold your phone, your eyes running back and forth in horror. Haechan still doesn’t speak a word, focusing his eyes entirely on the road that lays in front of him.

“I’m… I’m sorry.” Even though you know you’re already so out of line and probably won’t be forgiven anytime soon, you still apologize because what else can you say? “I didn’t realize my phone was dead. And I was sure I’d texted you but—”

“It’s fine,” he says as he props his elbow against his window, rubbing the side of his temple with his fingertips. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

And with that, the conversation ends. Your thoughts are running fast, trying to come up with a better apology or find a way to patch things up but you can’t. The more plans you make, the more you hate yourself for being so stupid and ruin this whole thing for him. The drive back to your dorm is filled with nothing but silence, and you spend the entire time counting the street light that glows faintly on the side of the road.

You do notice something, though. Haechan’s phone keeps on making little sounds, notifying him that he’s receiving text messages and chats. There was also a phone call which he ignored even when the street light was red, only saying, “I’ll just call back later,” when you nervously ask him about it.

It’s when he walks you back to your dorm, that you begin to gain the courage to ask about it. “You’re getting awfully a lot of texts today.”

“They just want to congratulate me,” he says, tucking his hands in his pockets so you can’t take a hold of any of them as you walk beside him.

“On what?”

“My birthday.”

You wish the earth could just swallow you whole because how fucking ignorantly stupid can you be? It’s the sixth of June today, and you were so busy dealing with the fight and minding your own business that you forgot the birthday of the most important person in your life right now. You can feel how your legs almost give out under your weight, your head’s spinning.

And apparently, you’re doing it again, so lost in your own thoughts that Haechan has to say, “We’re here,” to snap you back to reality. You’re now standing gawkily in front of the door to your room, palms getting sweaty from how nervous you are. Haechan murmurs something about seeing you later and you’re about to burst into tears from how terrible you feel for him so you hastily grab him by his wrist, fingers almost sinking into his skin from how desperate you’re being.

“Stay with me,” you beg with quivers in your voice. “Please, just—I need to talk to you.”

Haechan stares at you with cold eyes, his jaw clenching slightly. But he doesn’t pull back his arm and follows your trail with heavy steps as you step inside your room. He closes the door behind him and leans his back against it, still not saying anything.

You’re so occupied with trying to form a coherent sentence that you forget to be thankful about how your roommate is away for the weekend again, providing you the opportunity to have the entire room for yourself. You decide to not make any excuses and apologize for every little dumb thing you’ve been doing for the whole day—no, for a whole week even, since the time your fight started. But no matter what you say, Haechan is staring at you with lifeless eyes, as if he’s just too tired to listen—as if he just no longer cares.

And that scares the life out of you.

“Hyuck, please,” you whisper, closing the distance between you until you can feel his warm breath caressing your cheek. You have your palm pressing against the side of his face, “Say something.” You know it’s not right, but you lean in for a kiss. It’s not just because you’re desperate to pull an emotion out of him; it’s more because you miss him so terribly so, it’s driving you crazy.

Haechan has his eyes closed by instinct but he doesn’t kiss back, only letting your lips linger on him, sharing his breath. And though it feels like there’s a javelin slowly sinking into your chest, you try again, kissing him with more passion, hooking your arm around his neck to pull him closer. Haechan tears himself away, his gaze turning dark as he stares at you and you look at him back with desperation in your eyes.

“Haecha—”

It’s like something snaps inside him and he suddenly no longer has control over his own free will, because Haechan is now pushing your body against the door, slamming your spine against the surface none too gently with his hands on each side of your head, lips chasing after yours. You let out a gasp, both from the shock and the pain that stings from the back of your head, and he takes the opportunity to kiss you deeper, tongue delving in to explore the inside of your mouth. His fingers trail down from your cheeks to your jaw, before they rest on the sides of your neck, his fingertips probing against your veins. You’re not sure whether he does it unconsciously from the sheer excitement or something else but the way his hand is holding you by the neck, his fingers low key choking you make your adrenaline runs faster.

He doesn’t give you the chance to process every single thing that’s happening, or even breathe, for that matter. The next thing you know, he already has his hands running down to your thighs, pulling them up so you have no other choice but to tangle your legs around his waist and groan when he presses your hips together. Hearing the sound of his name tumbling down your lips in a desperate, needy moan, Haechan groans at the back of his throat, his hands moving up to palm your breasts before they start to struggle with your shirt.

You’re doing the same thing, just as eager to get him out of his white shirt so you can latch your lips on his smooth sun-kissed skin. But unlike you who struggle to unbutton his shirt one by one, Haechan’s patience is wearing thin so he ends up just ripping your uniform, buttons clattering down to the floor.

“Wait, Hyuck—” You’re forced to swallow whatever it is you’re trying to say when Haechan sinks his teeth down to the skin that connects your neck to your shoulder, pushing the fabric of your shirt down to expose more of your bare skin. Your whole body shudders, clutching to him with every strength you have. It hurts, the way he bites and nibbles along your sensitive skin, but at the same time, it sends electricity down to every inch of your body.

“Do you have any idea how fucking pissed I am right now?” He says in a low, dangerous voice as he gnaws around your earlobe. “Turn around.”

With his nails sinking into your hips, he forces you to turn on your heel, pressing the side of your face against the door and tears your shirt away from your body. He doesn’t immediately take off your bra like he usually does, and instead focusing first on slipping his fingers underneath the band, thumbs glossing over your hardened nipples as he applies wet kisses on your nape. You almost let out a sob when his hand travels south, raking his fingers against your stomach before he takes off your skirt in such a hurry, leaving you in nothing but your black stockings and your laced panties.

Your entire body jolts when he slips a hand between your legs, rubbing you over your underwear before he suddenly pushes the fabric down and runs his fingertips along your folds.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he whispers in your ear, his breath fanning your neck. “I’m surprised you like being treated like this.” But when you cry out his name, begging for him to stop teasing you already, he chuckles lowly. “I should’ve done this sooner.”

You’re sure that you’re just reacting this way because it’s him and not anybody else and you want to tell him that but you can barely form a word with him rubbing his fingertips along your clit. “You’re actually quite dirty, aren’t you?” He brings two of his fingers to your lips, forcing you to suck them into your mouth and you oblige, knowing what he’s intending to do. You coat them with as much saliva as you can before he brings his hand down to your heat again, this time inserting one finger into your entrance with another one following soon after.

You hiss his name under your breath, becoming a little lightheaded from all this sensation you’re having at once. “What do you want me to do?” He asks tauntingly, knowing he’s in charge of everything.

“Fuck me,” you gasp, eyes tightly shut at the feeling of him finger fucking you to oblivion. “I want you inside me, Hyuck, fuck.”

“Maybe in a few minutes.” His teasing tone is back but it’s different. It’s almost menacing this time, somewhat heartless. He picks up the pace, pumping his fingers in and out of you until you find yourself biting your lip to contain your sob. “Do you know what I want?” He carves his words against your skin, taking a handful of your hair with his other free hand and yanking it back so you can’t help but face the ceiling. His lips are hovering dangerously close against your ear. “I want to fuck you raw. We’ve never done that before, have we? I want to come inside you—want to see my cum dripping down your thighs when I’m finished with you.”

Fuck. You almost cry from the temptation. “Then do it. I don’t care just—” You arch your back, sinking yourself down to his fingers, moaning against the side of his neck. “Please, just fuck me, Hyuck.”

“Good girl,” he replies and you can hear the smirk in his voice but you don’t care. He can be as cocky as he wants for the night because you secretly like it. You like how confident he is during sex, how passionate and sexy he can get, and how desperate and uncontrolled he becomes at the end. You can feel your stomach flip at the anticipation, especially when you hear him working on his belt, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down only low enough for him to free himself.

“Let me fuck your mouth first,” he demands and you find yourself succumbing to his orders, turning around to face him before you drop to your knees, the tip of his cock protruding against your lips.

Haechan is still holding himself back, you’re sure, because he lets you take your own pace at first but his dominating persona comes back almost immediately when you only give him tentative licks against his slit. “Open up,” he orders, his fingers finding home in your hair and you loosen up your jaw to take him deeper.

Tears begin to form in the corner of your eyes from how hard he’s hitting the back of your throat but you try to keep up. He moves his hips, enjoying the warmth of your mouth. When you feel him twisting his fingers around the strands of your hair, you look up to see his expression. Haechan has his head thrown back in pleasure, his lips parted in a silent moan and you hum proudly to yourself when he brings his eyes down to meet yours. They’re glazed with lust and he’s so sexy like this with his breathing ragged, soft moans flowing like music to your ears. And he’s probably feeling the same about you, from the way he pushes the bangs out of your eyes, taking every detail of your face as you hollow your cheeks, swallowing when his taste falls upon your tongue.

“Fuck,” he hisses under his breath, “You look so perfect like this. You’re so fucking sexy, do you know that?” You hum, running your tongue along the prominent vein, giving kitten licks around the tip. Something gleams in his eyes and suddenly he commands you to stand up and pushes your body against the wall again, face first.

“Do you know how excited I was for today?” He grabs you by the waist, pushing his palm against your shoulder blades so you’ll bend lower, and positions himself against your entrance from behind. “I wanted to celebrate my birthday with you—just with you, Noona—even after our fight, I still wanted to spend it with you—”

“I know,” you gasp, thighs trembling when he rubs his tip against your folds. “I’m sorry—I was too busy with—“

“With work?” He taunts, “Or with that guy you’ve been seeing?”

“No—” A sudden yelp flows out of your mouth when he abruptly pushes himself entirely inside of you in one quick motion, his nails digging into the skin of your hips. Haechan moans a tad louder, much breathier, with his eyebrows knitted together in ecstasy. He’s more sensitive now since he’s not using a condom, directly feeling how wet and hot you are around him, how every clench makes him lose his mind and you can feel him twitching inside you. “Haechan—wait—”

He thrusts forward with such brute force, you find yourself pressed against the door. The dorm is quiet and with the way he’s slamming his hips against yours, the door making rhythmic banging noises against its frames, you’re sure you’re going to be noticed sooner or later.

“The bed—” You gasp, searching for the hands he has on your hips. “Let’s move to the bed—”

“Later,” he groans, his mind sinking in the way your heat is enveloping him.

“People can—” You have your eyes tightly shut when his thrusts get stronger. “They can hear us, Hyuck—”

He tangles his hand around your locks, making a messy ponytail out of them so he can yank on your hair as he rocks his hips faster. “I don’t fucking care,” he growls, “Let everyone know you’re mine.”

It feels fucking amazing the way he’s all breathless and rough, fucking you senselessly as if the world is ending, and it’s not long before your legs start to give up on you, quivering under the sensation.

“Fuck,” Haechan takes a sharp intake of breath, pulling you back against him when you’re about to fall. “Tired already, babe?” His chuckles are unfamiliar to your ears, as if he was mocking instead of teasing but you can’t really comment on it because he’s now pushing you down to the floor, forcing you to stay on all fours. “Now, now, what do we do?” He asks, spreading your thighs but holds your ass firmly in the air. “I’m just getting started.”

Every thrust of his hip feels like fire running all over your body and you can’t believe how good he is at hitting that particular spot deep inside you. You bite your lower lip to keep your voice down and Haechan notices it so he leans close, his chest pressing against your spine and you feel his lips and teeth caressing the crook of your neck as he speaks.

“Stop holding back your voice.” His voice sounds sultry, almost sinful to your ears. “I’ve told you before, right? I like hearing you say my name when we do this. Let me hear you moan.”

You shake your head. “I don’t want anyone to hear—“

“Well,” he doesn’t even let you finish. “I guess I’ll just have to force it out of you then.”

He slows down his pace, and instead of giving you fast, shallow thrusts, he focuses his strength on making each thrust hard and deep. You can feel your breathing being knocked out of your lungs, your toes curling in pleasure and if he keeps doing this, you know you’re not gonna last long. Your orgasm hits you so hard, a whimper falling from your mouth the way he likes it, and your body begins to shake.

Haechan laughs quietly against your ear. “You came, didn’t you? It feels so good—you feel so good around my cock.” He grabs you by the chin and roughly angles your head to face him. He kisses you hard, leaving you even more breathless than you already are before he says, “It’s my turn now.”

Haechan flips you to your back, spreading your legs wide as he sits on his knees, holding your ankles in the air like how he did the first time you had sex with him. Maybe it’s his favorite position, almost splitting your body in half, and seeing your face and your breasts bouncing up and down with every movement of his hips. You’re still dazed, reeling in the afterglow when Haechan pushes back into you again without warning, his eyes half-lidded in pleasure, his lips parted forming your name between his breathy moans.

“I’ll never get tired of how you look when I fuck you like this,” he says, smirking in the sexiest way you’ve ever seen him do. “You’re so goddamn irresistible, you know that?”

It’s frightening how different and rough he’s being right now, and you’re about to cry out because you miss him—you miss the way he used to be. The adorable, annoying little tease that he was. How can you bring him back?

“Haechannie,” you call out, voice soft and quiet almost in a whisper. “I love you.”

His movement stops almost immediately, his eyes widening in surprise. He locks his gaze back with yours, his grip on your legs becoming loose. “What?”

“I love you,” you repeat, placing your legs down so you can sit up from your position. Your back feels sore, screaming in pain but you try not to wince. You reach out to grab his face, running your thumb along his lower lip. “I love you, Lee Donghyuck.” You kiss him gently, merely pressing your lips against his and you can feel how his body stiffen under your touch. “So calm down, because I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be with you, as long as you let me.”

Haechan is still very much speechless and you decide to take control. You carefully push him down so he can sit back on the floor before you climb into his lap. You kiss him again, tangling your fingers in his hair before you slide down, enveloping him once again. There’s a small moan escaping his lips, which you immediately capture with your own and his hands find their way back to your hips again.

“That’s not fair,” he says, his cheeks reddening slightly though he’s still scowling at you. “You’re just saying that so I won’t be angry with you anymore.”

“That too, but,” you’re interrupted by a moan that departs from your lips, can barely handle the way he twitches inside you. “I’ve been feeling that way for quite some time now. Especially when we fight. I just missed you so much, I couldn’t stand it.”

His pout is growing back on his face, though not as apparent. “Well, whose fault do you think is that?” It’s perfect, the way he moves inside you and it’s driving him crazy whenever you clench your walls around him.

“There’s nothing between me and Jaehyun, I promise you,” you softly murmur as you place open-mouthed kisses down his neck. “I’d never cheat on you, Hyuck. You know that, right?”

He shivers slightly under your touch, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “Still,” he breathes out, “It doesn’t mean I’m fine with you meeting him behind my back.”

“He’s my boss, I wouldn’t be able to avoid him even if I wanted—” You have to end your sentence short when he rubs his thumb against your clit, reeling in the sensation. “Hyuck, you’re going to make me come again at this rate.”

“Good, because I intend to make you come at least three times tonight.” He snickers against your lips. “So you won’t be able to forget who owns you.”

His movements become sloppy, going out of rhythm, even more desperate with each thrust and when you whisper with his earlobe between your teeth, “Happy birthday, baby,” he comes undone almost immediately with his face hiding between the slope of your neck.

He lays you down to the floor again, gently this time, before he hovers above you, his arms shaking slightly. “Holy shit,” he exhales, cheeks flushed and beads of sweat forming on his temple. “I think I came a lot inside you.”

“Glad I’m taking some pills then,” you reply, smiling a little as you cup his cheek, your thumb tracing the mole under his left eye. “You okay?”

“Are you okay?” He asks instead. “Was I too rough? Are you hurt somewhere?”

“Why is it that whenever we have sex, you end up asking me these questions?” You chuckle. “Yes, you were. And yes, I am hurt. My back is killing me.”

“I’m…” There’s a slight panic flitting across his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, it was kinda hot seeing you all riled up like that. It’s like you turned into a completely different person.” You pull him down by his necklace, murmuring against his lips, “I won’t mind if you fuck me like that again sometimes.”

It’s funny that after all of this that just happened, he actually blushes over your words. Quietly cursing under his breath, he leans back on his heels, slowly pulling out of you and stare intently at how his cum starts to seep out of you.

“Goddamn…” he mumbles, eyes unblinking as if he’s in a trance. “I really did come a lot inside you.”

“Consider that your birthday gift. Also, can you stop looking at me like that—it’s embarrassing.” You don’t usually get embarrassed about sexual stuff, especially now that your boyfriend’s shamelessness kind of rubs off on you, but Haechan really knows how to push your buttons.

Seeing you fidget out of shame, Haechan’s eyes twinkle, his lips forming a teasing grin. “No, wait, let me clean you up.” Despite what he says, he slowly pushes one finger into you, with another one following right after and you part your lips in a gasp but loss for words when you see him playing with his cum that’s mixed with yours, smearing it on the inside parts of your thigh.

“Haechannie,” you gasp, feeling his fingers inside you once again, with his thumb rubbing over your clit. “What are you doing?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” He grins, showcasing his perfect teeth. “I’m going to make you come again. And then you’re going to make me come again.” His face hovers above yours, wetting his bottom lip as he stares lustfully at you. “Since it’s my birthday and you’re obliged to do whatever I want.”

You gulp. You’re going to be so sore tomorrow.

***

[aghostpost]

The Hard-J (Victor Creed x Reader)

A/N: I know I said it would be ready by the weekend but... it wasn’t! Excuses only work for those that make them, so I won’t bother lmao~ This one is for @queengiuliettafirstlady and everyone else that loves a little Victor Creed intensity. ♥

“Can we not do this today, please?”

“What the hell was that about?” He slammed the door after him as I went to my kitchen to put groceries away. 

“He saw me walking back from the store, that’s it.”

“That’s it, huh? What did I say about hangin’ out with him?”

“We weren’t hanging out! I told you, he saw me walking and he was helping me carry a few things. That. Is it.”

“You see how he talks to me? How he’s always talked to me-“

“-I see two brothers who, for whatever reason, can’t seem to hack it.”

“We aren’t brothers.”

I rolled my eyes, shoving my peanut butter and fudge swirl ice cream into the freezer. “Brothers in arms.”

“Because there’s no damn respect! Always lookin’ down at me like he’s some kinda fuckin’ superior.”

“Vic…”

“I don’t want you around him. You hear me?”

I let out an exasperated sigh as I rolled my eyes. “It’s too hot to argue about this shit.”

“You’re the one arguing instead of just agreeing, Y/N.”

“Your relationship with Logan is just that: yours. I have no problem with the guy.”

“If I see you two together again-“

“- Do not end that sentence with a threat, Victor-“

“- I’ll do you one better and end it with a guaran-fucking-tee!”

“We live in the same city, I’m bound to run into him sometimes!”

“Y/N look at me… Hey!” He shouted, making me jump out of my skin as I gave him my undivided attention. Clearly he was serious, which he tended to be. But this time, more serious than normal.

He was always so very dead serious whenever we talked about Logan.

“I don’t care if you’re next door neighbors with him. If I see you two with each other again, it will not end well.”

“For him? Or for me?”

“Both o’ you.”

I stared him down and watched him do the same, his face cold hard steel, not even a muscle flexing as he spoke to me. “What the hell happened between you two, anyway?” I asked. “What did he do that’s so damn bad you’re forbidding me to even say hi? He kill your cat or somethin’?”

He smirked and let out a huff of a chuckle, his left fang peeking from behind his lips. “You think I’m kiddin’?”

I rolled my eyes and pushed him away from me to continue putting the food away. “Yeah, sure. Whatever. I’ll stay away from him, Victor. Whatever the hell makes-” I couldn’t finish my sentence before I heard the loud crash of glass breaking. I whipped around and saw a wet puddle dripping on my wall, the floor beneath it decorated with broken glass and what was a very nice bouquet of assorted flowers. “Are you shitting me?!”

“Oh, I got your attention now?”

“You had it! You’re throwing a temper tantrum, breaking my shit, all because you’re jealous of someone I’m not even interested in?”

“Jealous?” he questioned as he slowly stalked towards me, like a predator carefully eyeing its prey. I was no stranger to Victor's temper; under the right circumstances, he could go from settled to up in flames with the snap of a finger. Maybe it’s because he was never really at ease, always ready to pounce at any moment’s notice if necessary. Yeah, I know he has little patience and is kinda trigger happy to get into a fight, his own source of entertainment. But that was with other people, strangers. With me, he exercised a lot more restraint. We’d have arguments, he’d yell, maybe hurt a wall and then storm off.

But whenever Logan was involved, it was a different story...

“You need to relax,” I warned as I slowly backed away from him, ready to defend myself if necessary, even if I knew it was a losing battle. 

“Did you just say I was jealous of him?”

“Are you?”

“What reason do I have to be jealous?”

“You tell me. What is it, Vic? You think I’m gonna run off with him into the sunset? You come over here one day to see me, all my shit is packed up and I leave a note behind? I doubt he’d throw my shit around like you just did.”

“I bought you those damn flowers,” he growled.

“You gonna buy the replacements too?” I asked playfully, trying to diffuse the tension but failing. It was painfully obvious, literally, he wasn’t in the mood to play when I felt his fist grip me like a boa constrictor. He forced my head against the kitchen cabinet behind me and got close to my face. If he moved any closer he’d be able to taste the chive cream cheese bagel I had on the way over here. 

“Now that all depends…”

“Victor, let go of me. Now.”

“What’s the matter, hm? I thought you liked it rough?” he spoke with a tone of warning before a lecherous grin spread across his face. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t release a flutter deep in my belly, my incessant desire for him threatening to surface. It was embarrassing and admittedly disgusting to me, how even in moments as such, there was always going to be some shred of me that could neither ignore nor deny my constant thirst for him to satisfy me in ways only Victor knew how.

“You’ve made your point.” I tried to remain calm while fighting for air. I was willing to bet money that he could feel my pulse quickening beneath his grip. If even one of his claws came out I’d be bleeding out all over the linoleum.

“Have I?”

“You have five seconds to get the fuck off of me... or I walk.” He stared me in the eye only a few seconds longer before relinquishing his grip. If there was anything I caught on to in the seven months we’ve been seeing each other, if that’s even what you wanna call him dropping by for food, sex and quality conversation with a solid night’s rest, it’s that he actually greatly enjoyed having me in his life. He would never admit it, of course, being the poster boy for hypermasculinity; no way he’d display the level of emotion required to confess he liked me. But I picked up on it in subtle ways he probably doesn’t even notice. The way he throws his arm over me in his sleep, subconsciously keeping me in place with him. The way he came over and pretended it was just for sex, when we wouldn’t wind up having sex at all. The flowers he bought me, before throwing them to the wall in a rage. Most importantly, the way he wouldn’t stay gone long after a fight and would come back with his tail tucked in ready to apologize, afraid that would be the fight that finally scared me off and into the arms of someone else. I wasn’t using that to my advantage here, but I was letting him know what we both knew but never spoke of:

He wanted me around. He liked me.

I took a moment to allow oxygen to return to my lungs before I addressed him. “I pushed a button o’ yours with that little J-word?”

“What on Earth gave you that idea?” he asked sarcastically.

I nodded. “Fine. Noted. But I promise you, next time you use your words, because if you ever think about putting your hands on me again-”

“-Now you’re ending sentences with threats?”

“Guarantees, right?�� I stalked to the corner of the kitchen and grabbed the broom that was wedged between the wall and my fridge then slammed it into his chest. “Dust pan behind the fridge,” was all I said before making my way to the bedroom.

“We’re not done-”

“-I am.” The moment I turned the corner out of the kitchen he was following me, the broom loudly clapping against the kitchen floor. The same hand that was just wrapped tightly around my throat was now finding its way around my waist along with his other one, pressing me to the wall. “Victor-“

“-I’ll getcha new flowers.”

“Fuck the flowers and fuck you.” He wasn’t hearing any of it. He grabbed my wrists and began making his way to the couch, my legs clumsily bumping into any and everything I walked towards. 

“I’m not gonna pour my heart out an’ tell you all the fucked up things about me, if that’s what you’re waitin’ for me to do.”

“Mutant in human world. It’s not hard to figure out.”

“And I’m not tellin’ you the textbook of reasons I’m not holdin’ hands with him either.”

“And I’m not agreeing to stay away from him for your reasons and personal grudges unknown.”

“So maybe I didn’t make myself as clear as I thought.” Before I was aware the back of my legs bumped into the arm of my couch. I was desperate to create some sort of distance between us, so I fell backwards and wiggled away to the far opposite end of the couch. He stood at my feet and without breaking eye contact, lifted the loose black henley from his chest. He was possibly the only person I knew that could wear black and long sleeves in the peak of a summer in the city without breaking a sweat. But now wasn’t the time to be impressed by minor things.

“It’s too hot for this, too.”

“You tellin’ me no?”

“Yes!”

“Why?” he asked as he continued advancing in my direction, fumbling with the belt on his jeans as he kicked his shoes off.

“Because I don’t feel like it. You’re not about to makeup sex your way out of putting your hands on me, dick.”

He shrugged to himself. “You never turned it down before.”

“Well, you know what they say the definition of insanity is, right…”

“Doin’ the same shit, expecting different results.”

“And I want different results, Victor.”

“Fine. So let’s try somethin’ different.” Without a word or warning he bent down and scooped me up, a hand firmly resting under each of my thighs, my legs snaked around his waist. I thought he was headed towards the bedroom, but he took a surprising left turn to the apartment balcony, gripping me tightly before using a hand to open the sliding glass door. The humidity instantly smothered me, my glasses fogging from the shock of being exposed to the summer heat after leaving my air conditioned living room. He sat in one of the wicker seats of my patio set and placed me in his lap, lifting my sundress so I could straddle him free of obstruction. He placed me directly onto his cock and was not gentle about it; my head instantly fell back as a rush of air escaped my chest, my hands finding his neck. 

“Fuck,” I whispered.

“Exactly.”

“Shut the hell up.” There was no time for playful banter. The sun had only just started to set, meaning there was still plenty daylight for us to be seen; this had to be quick. And quiet. Quiet would be the hard part without a doubt. With his help, I lifted my body up and down, his fingertips digging into my hips as he held tightly to my waist. “Holy shit, Vic.”

“Still think I’m jealous?”

I grinned to myself. “I dunno; you’re fuckin’ me like you got somethin’ to prove,” I teased. Clearly there was jealousy but I knew better than to answer him with a yes. But if jealousy is this good a sexual motivator, I’d be happy with this silver lining to our fight. He lifted my dress up more, enough for him to expose my tits and seize my right one with his mouth. My head fell back, a cry escaping me when I felt the sharp stab of his teeth on the mound of flesh. “Fuck!” He growled, his mouth vibrating slightly around my nipple. 

“Ya still gonna run away and leave a note?” he asked, the heat from his mouth making toes curl.

“Never.” Unless he pushed me to it, of course. 

I felt the pads of his fingertips press my scalp, my hair tightly intertwined in his digits as he pulled my head back and forced me to make eye contact. “Don’t threaten to walk again.”

I rolled my eyes. “Or else?” I mocked.

He shook his head, his pelvis ceasing, the rapid rise and fall of our chests the only movement remaining between us. “No. Just don’t.”

I stared at him a moment longer and simply nodded before standing and turning around, lifting my dress over my head, then taking the rusty balcony rail in my hands to steady myself. I turned to look at him; to my surprise he was already stroking himself in the absence of something else warm wrapped around his cock. “Whatcha waitin’ for?”

“Can’t enjoy the view?”

“Enjoy it any longer and I’m gonna melt.”

“Someone other than me hungry for it?” he said with a hard slap to my right cheek before roughly re-entering from behind, making me jerk forward into the hot metal rail. I grunted at the pain in effort not to be too loud and settled comfortably on him, my body fitting him like a glove. He was in no way gentle as he thrust himself in and out of me, primal grunts escaping his chest every time his hips rammed into my ass. My tits would surely be bruised the way I was uncomfortably pressed into the railing. I stared at the rusted and flaking metal coating of the bars beneath my arms and fought to keep my legs from collapsing beneath me, every bone in my limbs turning to apple sauce, my muscles sore and aching. If only this kind of workout kept me in shape and was doctor recommended. And quiet as I was, there was nothing I could do to muffle the loud smack that echoed in the air when Victor got slap happy, or the sound that came from my mouth as a result. The funny thing was, the more I tried to shush him, the more intensely he fucked me, and the more sound we both ended up making. 

“Sss, holy fuck! Fuck fuck fuck, Vic! Shit!” I cried out, the restraint I had for my volume loosening. On a slower day I would have had a bit more self control, but I never lasted long, or quietly, when he was in a more animalistic mood.

“Mm, that’s right,” he grunted, digging his fingers into my hip bones. “Lemme have it, baby.” And before I knew it I did exactly that. My legs gave out beneath me and I fell to my knees, failing to hold myself up on the balcony railing any longer as I came. My moans were beyond stifling, and I felt nothing else, not even the pools of sweat pouring out of me. For just a moment I’d fallen into a deep well of ecstasy, my head throbbing from the mix of summer heat and pleasure, before I regained some composure to return the favor. 

I grabbed the thin cushion from my patio chair and placed it at his feet and knelt before him, taking him into my mouth as deep as I could. As hungrily as I could. Without hesitation his hands flew to my head, cradling the back of my skull and maneuvering me to a pace of his pleasure. “Atta girl,” he encouraged. He knew I was a sucker for praise, and after being a complete asshole I was expecting him to lay it on with the ass kissing for the rest of the evening. Now he had me working like I was the jealous one, when really I was only in competition with myself; I wanted to see if I could make him cum quicker than any of the other times I did this. I worked my head in a swivel and both of my hands in opposing twisting motion, pulling him into me as far as I could without biting off more than I could chew. It was useless, however, since Victor was determined to push my head down way past my limits. His hips undulated as he thrust his dick deeper and deeper into my throat. He’d momentarily pause and hold his place before pulling out to allow me to draw air, all before repeating the process. “Look at me,” he demanded, which was all he needed to say for me to know what time it was. I stared upwards at him with his cock still in my mouth, my eyes glassy with tears, and he pushed himself deep into my throat one final time and pumped the tip of his dick at the back of my throat. He held eye contact for as long as he could before his head fell backwards, eyes slamming shut as I felt the muscles of his thighs tighten. He grunted a low, beastlike growl before I felt him release all he had to offer in my throat, the sensation slightly tickling. I slowly jerked his dick off for good measure to ensure I got him for every drop before swallowing the thick, sticky fluid, swirling my tongue around his tip before he removed himself from my mouth. 

“Ah, Jesus fuck,” he sighed, his chest rising and falling as he tried to recover.

“I think I missed that Sunday school lesson.” He rolled his eyes and looked down at me, head still resting in his lap, before rising and extending a hand. I grabbed and he pulled me up, coming face to face with him and the wild grin plastered on his face. “Back inside before my ass gets covered in bug bites.”

“I could scratch it for ya,” he offered, running a claw harmlessly up my spine. I shivered and pushed away from him before round two threatened to begin, sliding the balcony door open, relieved once the ice cold air conditioning hit my chest.

“No thanks. But you absolutely can buy me another bouquet of flowers. And a vase, while you’re at it.”