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#sorry for this stream of consciousness xd
jarognieva · 10 months
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I want to remind that School of Mensis doesn't have to be school per se or as part of university (Burgerwerth) but more like organization of people (philosophers, scientists or clerics? Or maybe all at once) with common view and beliefs. Of course we know it turned into a sect. So instead of civilized discussions and lectures like it should be at university, we have brainwashing, tortures and praying to huge eldritch spiders. I think there were no students here but """scientists""". Or maybe there were students but true students should study, seek truth and asking questions! But asking questions in a sect doesn't end well :3 And the rest of students who were listening to Micolash without any reflections just turned into believers!
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chubs-deuce · 6 months
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Hi!!
hiii omgomg, i am literally hyperfixated/so obssessed w ur au rn. i found your blog/acc yesterday and i read all of ur posts AHHH omg… regarding dawn, what do you think her personality is if she grows up? would she be more of her mom or dad and in ur imagination what would her quirks be and etc? (sorry if this was answered already)
Jdjskskdkdksk OMG?? THAT'S SO FLATTERING ACTUALLY-
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To answer your question, I've technically already outlined a lot of my thoughts on her personality as she grows older in this post, but that was technically to a barely related question and more of a stream of consciousness that turned into a ramble xD
But obviously I don't mind pulling out some more if you'd like to indulge me a little lol.
When she's younger she's a lot more like her father - mischievous, fun-loving, spiteful and to a harmless degree even a bit manipulative (as in it's never to anyone's detriment) - but as she grows older, there's a lot more of her mother's sympathetic and protective passion coming through too.
Dawn as an adult is temperamental like her father but ultimately well-meaning and has a strong sense of justice - though unlike Charlie she doesn't shy away from breaking rules to get her way if needed.
She's the type of friend in a group that would go to the cashier and declare sternly that you've asked for no pickles and then proceeds to scare the eyerolling jerk behind the counter into compliance >:D
Here's some quirks I can think of lol:
When Dawn gets frustrated or particularly angry, her ears start flapping/twitching pretty hard
She has her mom's ability to control and summon hellfire and sometimes when she's bored she'll just doodle with it in the air a little
She sings a lot (probably more than her mom if given the chance to) and does so with her whole chest lol.
Her dad taught her how to play piano but she likes using those skills for "evil" (i.e. Playing brief little meme songs and ad jingles)
Dawn loves sweets! Some of her beverage concoctions put even some of Charlie's worst hot chocolate builds to shame in complexity and overdoing it on the sprinkles
Dawn can, to a degree, manipulate soundwaves, though not radiowaves like her father. Her skills consist more of manipulating the sound of her own voice or the voices of others. She could hypothetically mimic voices and mute other people temporarily. So far Alastor is the only one able to circumvent this lol
Dawn doesn't have a good Pokerface
Thank you so much for this ask!!! <3 have a good one~
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ravenmold · 3 months
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For the WIP Game, I'm going to ask about "i like the way you" because I really doubt that the song that comes to my mind with that title is the correct song and I wanna know. XD <3
😂 hi lovely prime!!
I'm adding a lil doodle for you, for in case you're right about the song! And also in case you like doodles. Here ya go:
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Anyway, let's see if you're right? The song I took it from is I Like The Way You Kiss Me by Artemas. Lmao i think it's a pretty sexy song, it has ensnared me 😌
The wip is nothing special and unfortunately I don't have any text to quote for it, as I've only written a hook and a summary for it so far, it's brand new! 😂 It's a mattfoggy one shot, and it's set a bit after Foggy found out about Matt's senses and made peace with it.
My hook is:
Getting drunk around Matt in college had been a bad idea.
Being drunk around him now was an even worse idea - when Foggy's been sad for a while, when he really should be getting home, and he definitely still has questions about Matt's senses ...
So basically, Foggy is a very babbling and touchy drunk, and he's especially barnacley with people he has a crush on. In college, he thought Matt didn't really notice the correlation. Now ... He's questioning everything. Matt finds him at Josie's and tries to get Foggy home, and Foggy basically just stream-of-consciousness babbles at Matt about his senses and it ends in an accidental love confession ☺️🥺
Sorry that I don't have a piece of the writing for you to judge! But the moment I add more to it I'll @ you immediately 😉
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m-y--p-a-s-s-i-o-n-s · 6 months
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Writing Patterns
Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!
Thanks for the tag @lizzy0305 <3
I can tell you right now that I make a conscious effort to not use the same kind of opening line for every fic, but I do still use the same kinds regularly enough. I'm aware of my own pattern XD Alright, from last posted...
What was he doing? - The Man Behind The Uniform (Carnival Row)
They were on their way out finally, the BAFTAs being over for another year. - Exposure (Staged RPF)
Eddie rose to consciousness slowly, flinging an arm over his face to block out the glaring sunlight that was streaming in through the ratty, makeshift curtains, now that he was becoming aware of it. - Happy Birthday, Eddie! (Venom)
Teeth. - Teeth (Venom)
It had been a spectacular night, all of the nominees had deserved to win, but he wasn’t lying when he’d said that he’d been repeatedly reminded that there could only be one winner for each category. - The Secret After Party (Staged RPF)
Aziraphale had been sketching him for years, centuries even, without his knowledge. - An Artist and His Muse (Good Omens)
The weather was how you’d expect it to be in Soho; overcast, and occasionally drizzly. - The Umbrella (Good Omens)
“Can’t get drunk on food,” Crowley had told the angel. - A First Taste (Good Omens)
Aha! - A Racy Read (Good Omens)
Aziraphale watched the bees as they buzzed quietly from flower to flower in the luxurious garden attached to their little cottage, and Crowley mostly watched his angel. - An Ineffable Garden (Good Omens)
I see a few that are similar there, like I said, I'm aware of it XD
Tagging: @heartshapedvows, @doonarose
I always struggle to remember which of my mutuals writes fics sorry! Feel free to do this if you want!
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nocek · 2 years
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Hello, do you have a guide to drawing faces? I'm going through an artstyle revision to be more soft around the edges and less sharp and I've always struggled with faces...
oh my... that's a very broad question to ask and hard to give any usefull answer without actually seeing your work. But it's good that you have concrete goals and can pinpoint what exactly you want to change about your work. It's a very professional attitude.
Which is why I may be a bad choice of person to be asked for advice. Because I'm not a professional and I want very much for drawing to stay just my hobby to keep me sane. I never consciously thought about my artstyle beyond maybe making it less manga (but residue it's still there, art teachers were right lol XD). It's about having fun in the process for me.
That's why I can only give you some fun things to try out. Maybe one or two will work for you.
If you want to soften your faces in generally paintery way best way I tried is to gradually unblurr your picture. Like take the most basic round brush with soft edges and make it very big. Turn down the opacity a bit and try to sculpt basic shapes of the face using the main limited pallette colors of your reference. Then use slightly smaller big brush to add bit more details. Then gradually make the brush smaller and smaller. And gradually add new details and colors if necessary.
This actually does wonders because helps you stop being precious about some sketch details because there is no sketch. It helps you stop seeing face as face so you don't draw what you know but what you actually see.
Actually speaking of that. Another great trick is to put your reference upside down. Our brains are lazy and just extrapolate the information and our brains are great at face shapes so it's actually harder to draw them. But if you put them upside down you actually need to focus on proportions of this new unknown shape. It actually does wonders!
When it comes to lineart (because after all this rambling I figured that's most likely why you've written to me, sorry) i have 2 suggestions.
Try to figure out if you draw with only your wrist. It doesn't decide if you draw more in straight or in curved lines (I guess in that department we have opposite problems :D) but it's good idea to try consciously draw using more of your elbow. It works well with bigger canvases and actually taught me to draw really long straight lines (yay architecture, it was useful for that and learning how to do really tough boxes XD) but actually it's about stability which is crucial in doing curved lines too.
On smaller scale try using different media or have fun with new pens. It will help you get out of your used path and is an excuse to raid nearby cheap art store.
I guess many people would recommend doing lineart with brushes. The varying thickness will encourage you to use more round lines and so on buuuuut.... actually I think brushes are very discouraging when you don't have the muscle memory to control them properly. My advice here would be to use felt tip pens actually. They are more springy thus more forgiving. Try the ones that are soft and more spongy than actually felt. Idk how to describe them. If that's something you think may be interesting let me know and I'll try to dig up the ones I used.
Generally let me know if you want more details in certain direction because all above is kind of rambly stream of consciousness answer and idk how usefull it actually is but I prefer to post it that way otherwise I'll get stuck in perfecting the reply limbo >.<
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the-lunar-library · 1 year
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I finished The Price and Prey of Magic and oh my god why did I take so long with such an wonderfully enjoyable novel? T_T
(Warning, this stream-of-consciousness ask was meant to be shorter but it got out of hand, sorry! 😅)
Yew on her own was a wild ride; impressively impulsive (often as a benefit and often amusingly!), just self-aware enough to realize it, but not enough to keep it from causing trouble. I was getting more hopeful for her as she began heading out for missions, but that just made the downward spiral even worse. I honestly didn't expect things to go quite THAT wrong, but my god she deteriorated into a human disaster. Although she does become a semi-antagonist toward the end, it had become heartbreaking to read. So many catastrophes that she couldn't even process good decisions anymore. Just blame, blame, blame.
I honestly though Yew was going to tell Arsen "I know about the cost limiter. Remove it without a word, and I'll forgive you." But that is not how Yew works. (It IS, however, how Eider works!)
What hurts is that you could really tell Arsen was growing into a more caring person because of her. He wasn't fully there yet, but now he never will be.
I out loud gasped "oh no" when she learned that Siege City was hit by the plague. With how hellbent she was on putting all the responsibility on herself for everything, I thought for sure that would finish her. I'm glad she was able to keep herself occupied for the time being, at least.
Maybe one day, she'll learn how to remove the cost limiter herself. Who knows.
The shift of personalities from Yew to Eider was a breath of fresh air when part 2 started, even if it opened with her in a rotten situation. With how grim things got, it was nice to see that her friends had her back in some capacity. Yew feels strong-headed, but Eider's just plain strong.
Then of course she eats a pear, and I'm embarrassed at how long it took me to recall you mentioned a giant mirrored world in view. It took me until the snake first spoke for the egg timer in my brain to go off and I was like "ohhhh, hi Diarca." XD
He grew on me so much. By the time Eider came back for him and saved him from the collapsing prison, that whole scene from the bed to the outside world had me 🥺😭💖
The whole bond between them was beautifully developed, and I love how hard she worked to save him all over again. Right up to EQUIPPING CLAWS. Like… I'm with Yew: sorcerer or not, I'm stepping aside, the hell with that! lmao
Just… all the ways this story dealt with forgiveness or pacing blame between the two protags, it was really well done. 👏
So glad to have read this story! Already recommended it to a few friends who like this genre. ^^ Skillfully written, I loved the characters, and I loved the occasional snark and humor. You did a wonderful job! I look forward to your next book. :D
Aaaaaaaa, I'm incoherent, thank you! I'm so, so happy you enjoyed it. Yew's descent from merely making bad choices to being an antagonist is pretty heavy, and I worry sometimes about it alienating readers. But you're right -- I want this to be an ultimately hopeful book. Yew goes through a lot, but that doesn't mean there aren't still better things ahead for her.
I'm just hugely smiling as I type. Thank you again, so much, iffy!
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Imagine being in a relationship with: Vrox
This strange boy, a Disney’s prince’s smile marred by the scars embedded in his skin. One moment running with a wild crowd, jostling and snapping and howling like a wolf pack, utterly alone the next. Isolation was punishment, self-inflicted solitary confinement. Eyes that bright a blue should not be able to be so shadowed. Hands mottled purple and black with the memory of violence should not be so gentle as they caressed your cheek.
Your relationship was the night. Pacing in your apartment to the thundering music, shaking the pictures on the walls. On the bed with his hands under your shirt and your tongue in his mouth. In the bath, skin on skin and fast food and alcohol - only enough for a buzz. Driving out of the city for the hell of it, motels you had never seen and will never see again when the lines started to blur. Broken-down buildings and disabled subways explored, no barbed wire sharp enough to keep him out. Bars where one look was enough to keep trouble away; though normally he sought it, nothing was worth losing you. That was the one rule, that you would tell him if he was taking something too far. Scaring you. Driving you away. It was the last thing he wanted. His worst nightmare. So you promised, and he held you to it. Checking with his eyes, his touch, his words. He never forgot, not once.
He looked strange in the mornings. The yellow light seemed to shy away from the scars, leaving them pale and stark against tanned skin. He would roll away from you to stretch, his feet hanging off the end of the mattress you hadn’t gotten around to putting on a bed frame. He would turn back to face you and lazy explore your face with his eyes and his fingers, tracing softly tingling lines into your skin. When his hand found your jaw, he would cup it and lean in for a soft kiss, so at odds with the ones from last night. Then he would grin, give you a playful little shove and go to make something way too heavy for breakfast. Steak was common, as was bitter black coffee that earned you a glare from him if you put any milk or sugars in.
He had a bad habit of showing up at your work or school without anything but a warning text, most often with food and a story to tell. You paid him back at his work, volunteering with some of the sweeter dogs than his kin. You laughed over stupid and cute moments, cried together when someone couldn’t be saved. He would send you pictures when he couldn’t handle in alone. The ones with the captions where the best. A blurry cat mid-leap and hissing as it sprang for his face, with the only caption ‘they still hate me.’  One was a tiny puppy doing its best to gnaw off his finger, labelled ‘think I found a new recruit for Hell’s army, what do you think?’ The puppy was definitely more ferocious and cuter than him, and you replied as such. He agreed. (You ended up eventually adopting the puppy, or rather your coldhearted demon brought him home one evening because “he cried whenever I had to leave.” And just like that, you had a son. Go figure.)
The inside jokes were numerous and mostly rude or dark or both. Pentagrams cut into food and served to him just to get that look and that grin. Sitting in bus shelters with a curtain of rain separating you from the world, his lips inevitably finding yours as he pulled you closer. There was a wildness to him, a wordless promise that anything could happen. No restrictions, no rules, just life and your heart pounding in your chest. Safety was overrated. No consequences could take away the thrill of the moment, so why care?
“Easy for you to say. You can go and hide down there for a hundred years and get out of anything.”
“Down there?”
“Ye- oh, shut up.”
His laugh made your pulse skip, and the way his blue eyes caught the neon lights and glowed unnaturally blue, the way his fingers slid between yours and held with just the right pressure... and how his lips glided down your neck like ice on silk. The amount of times you were caught by his packmates was unprecedented, sometimes you thought they liked catching you two in the act. You could see the family resemblance, the grins a little too wide, the eyes gleaming a little too much, the loyalty in their stances. Men and women and others, an extended family of demons attached to you by your boyfriend. You were glad to know they had his back, since he seemed intent on getting it broken.
You lost count of the times he entered the apartment with his head low, eye so swollen he couldn’t see, nose crooked, knuckles split, bones bent at disturbing angles. At first he tried to hide it from you, deal with it himself as he always did, but he came to trust you more. Eyes on the floor, letting you help him; it was more painful and frightening than the fights themself. Tensing not because of the pain, but the raw vulnerability. You knew him enough to see it, and so you kept the tenderness in your hands despite your frustration. Your words however, not so much.
“You’re going to get yourself killed.”
“I’d like to see them try.”
You sighed, looked to the ceiling, and climbed into bed beside him, resting your head on his shoulder. You felt the ridges and indents from the scars, smelled the blood still lingering; his and others’. You remembered the mornings he couldn’t get out of bed, lost in some grey world you couldn’t reach. You remembered all those nights, showing up late and soaked in red. You remembered the temper he tried so hard to direct elsewhere, stifle, heal. You remembered him kneeling down and letting rescued puppies scramble all over him with their little tongues and wagging tails. You smiled to yourself, and let him rest you against his chest and curl himself in around you. Keeping you safe for the rest of the night.
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thefirstknife · 2 years
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OK... So I was told when I first started getting into lore that back in D1 there were lore tabs (called grimoire notes or something? IDK, I only started getting into lore once D2 was out) that said specifically guardian's could have children. But then I also got conflicting information that there is no such thing. Now I know that you, personally, have stated that we don't really know. So I guess what I'm asking is, do you think there's merit is literally reading every single grimoire note from D1 to see if there's anything that could tell us one way or another? Because I'm the crazy who will do it and hate my life cause, I'll be real with you, the old stuff was a little dry. Also, if you know what lore tab they might be thinking of that is actually ambiguous, but 'seen in the right light' could be misconstrued as saying definitively they can have children. Also is there lore that would have started the thought process that they /can't/ have children, because that actually seems kind of a stretch to suddenly jump to. I would be more likely to believe they CAN then they CAN NOT as they are brought back from death perfectly fine and healthy. So unless there's lore saying they CAN'T then I'm a little baffled by it. Sorry if this was meandering? Also, thank you for reading through that trainwreck of stream of consciousness xD
Old grimoires don't go into this question so you won't find much digging through them. It hasn't been discussed much back in the day, not that I can remember at least.
This has always been up in the air. Guardian health and body-status in general. Like, how .... "alive" are they really? Given that they're immortal and paracausal and all that. We don't have any firm answers, but there have been some hints recently actually.
For example, in the second lore page from the new lore book, Triage (still not available on Ishtar but linking for the future), Safiyah doesn't let Zavala's Ghost heal him and instead she shows him how to tend to the wound. That means that Guardian bodies still work relatively normally, as Zavala was bleeding and his wound acted like it would for anyone else. He just has a Ghost that can patch that up quickly.
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"This isn't necessary," he says, but lets her continue. She produces her hooked needle, the hemostat, the polypropylene thread. Tools that fit easily in her hands; precious resources for an immortal man.
"I'm going to close the wound," she says, and touches his arm lightly with a gloved hand. "I will make six sutures. It will take four days, maybe five, to heal."
So without using a Ghost, a Lightbearer needs the same type of medical attention and healing time. This suggests to me that their bodies still work exactly the same.
As for children.... It's a very tough question to answer because even if Lightbearers' bodies work normally otherwise without a Ghost (need to be healed, can scar, become disabled...), bearing children is a whole other thing.
There is only one direct mention of this, but it's unclear. Iron Forerunner class item from Season of the Lost:
"You'll never have a son," his Ghost had said, "but it isn't too late for you to take an apprentice."
This is Saladin's Ghost telling him to take Zavala as an apprentice because he will never have a son. Does that mean that Saladin, as a Lightbearer, physically cannot have a son? Or that he as a Lightbearer should not make children because he will outlive them? As I said, it's unclear. We can't tell if this is something that's just phsically impossible or if Saladin's Ghost is just telling him it would be a bad idea to have a biological family given that he's immortal.
Or maybe it's just Saladin himself who simply cannot have children? As in, maybe he couldn't have children before he was a Lightbearer too.
This is interesting also because we now know that Zavala had a family with a mortal woman. And lore on Tymbal Lucidae mentions also that he had a son. However, it does not specify if the child was Zavala's biological son. Frustrating.
At first I thought that the previous lore for Saladin was as clear as they could get with telling us that Guardians can't have children, but this new lore with Zavala is making me question that. Obviously, Hakim (Zavala's son) can be adopted, but the ship lore mentions that Zavala was there since the child was an infant. The framing makes me think it's not an adopted kid:
Early evening stretched out before him; his son's infant silhouette traced into the violet sky. The air thrummed with the cicada's song. Hakim traipsed through the meadow as a child, stood a boy, and flickered forward through adolescence in rotoscoped evolution until, when he stepped in front of his father, he was almost a man. Zavala laughed to himself with prideful disbelief at the sight of his son.
We will likely get more info on this through the Triage lore book, but we'll have to wait a few more weeks. And hope that Bungie gets a bit more specific about whether or not Zavala actually had a biological child.
We'll have to wait to see the full story of the Triage lore book and Zavala's life with his family to get more answers. And that is IF they give us a direct answer. At this point, it all hinges on how they tell us more about Hakim and whether he was Zavala's biological son. Only that, for now, will fully answer this question for good.
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i had a dream team rwbyjnr lost oscar and the only reason they couldn't find him was caz the place they were in everyone were green and red XD
LMAO that sounds like a chibi sketch! Like a Where's Waldo situation.
Nora: How is it possible Oscar got even harder to find??
This is the perfect setup for one of those memes where you yell something out in a crowded area and the lost person responds. But what would it be? Time for a stream of consciousness!
Blake: I'm sorry, I can't see him anywhere.
Yang: Not your fault he's so short.
Ruby: I got this. *Cups hands over mouth* FARM EMERGENCY! Is there a farmhand in the house?!
Jaune: What's a farm emergency?
Ruby: I dunno, but there's an emergency for everything. He'll know, and then we'll find him!
Weiss: We're not on a farm.
Ren: Or in a house.
Ruby: That's the thing about farm emergencies, Weiss. You never know where they're gonna strike.
Oscar, pushing through the crowd: There's an emergency?
Nora: Oscar! We found you! *Bear-hugs him*
Oscar: Is it pests? What kind -- insects, deer, grimm? Or is something wrong with the irrigation? Oh gosh, we have to hurry--
Yang: There's no farm emergency.
Oscar: ... What?
Ruby: Yuh huh. The farm emergency was you were lost.
Oscar:
Ruby: You're a farmh--
Oscar: I got it.
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lunar-winterlude · 7 years
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My sister called earlier, and somehow we got on the topic of relationships, which led to us ranting to each other about how irritating some types of couples can be. Mostly when they do things like offer to hang out with single friends and then ignore them so they can make out and giggle at each other. :x
If I ever act like that in a relationship, someone please slap me in the face.
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spice-chan · 4 years
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A Christmas Present
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Hitoshi Shinsou x reader
It’s time for Shinsou to get his feelings across, what better time then Christmas, the day of blessings and magic ?
Soulmate au, coffee shop au.
Word count: 3200
This is written for the secret santa event, for @what-the-censored-xd I hope you enjoy this and merry Christmas!!
warnings - misunderstandings and a teeny bit of angst
.....................................................
A soulmate. A gift all the quirky individuals of this world have been gifted with. 
With a mark on your wrist indicating who the individual is, the circumstances, perhaps the time. It’s pretty ambiguous, and the thought of missing the fated person is an ever present fear on most people’s mind. At least yours. 
It’s rather plain, sweet, but plain. Easy to be overshadowed by the more gaudy, exquisite, or creative soul marks. It's a dark brown, a darker shade than the earth, but lighter than a macchiato, and its heart shaped. A tiny heart, like the one that often adorns the textbook of bored teens who opted to doodle in class. Still, looking at it never failed to bring a smile to your face. 
It’s almost as if you have a premonition that it’s going to bring you something magical. 
With those thoughts in mind, you entered the coffee shop, the red ribboned bell at the door making a semi loud jingling sound that alerted the workers of your presence, causing smiles to plaster across their faces. Some looked easy, as real and carefree as breathing, some looking more stiff, almost unnatural on the beholders face. However, one stood out in particular. 
Purple, and appearing like cotton candy in softness, hair, with equally gorgeous lavender eyes that sported bluish semi circles underneath. And a face devoid of a smile, his lips set in a straight line. Bored, uninterested, even sad. 
“What would you like to order ?” You were startled for a second, taken aback when his lips parted for his monotone tone to slip out from between the cracks. Your cheeks felt hot, realising that you’d walked all the way to the cashier without realising. 
“Latte, please. With cream on top. Thanks” You replied nonchalantly, pretending that you weren’t ogling him. You definitely weren’t. 
He hummed, his lavender eyes zeroing in on you, making you gulp nervously. Is he ok ?
“Umm..” you cringed nervously. His eyes widened a fraction, and if you weren’t mistaken, a red hue tinted his cheeks. He nervously started putting in your order, his fingers shaking a fraction while his heart thudded in excitement. Your words rang in his head, but instead of the usual robotic monotony that usually accompanied them, they were laced with your unique, bashful voice, accentuated with your embarrassed, cute face. 
“Latte, with cream on top ?” He asked again, as if consciousness only streamed back to him. Holy shit he thought. He should ask for your number. 
He should, the words formulated in his head, made the movements of his fingers slower, they went to the tip of his tongue- 
“That’ll be 2.99, thank you for your purchase.” 
But he did nothing. 
His shoulders deflated, the movement noticeable to the perceptive eye, especially when he saw your figure move away and take a seat on one of the tables while he prepared your drink. His hand instinctively went to tangle in his soft purple locks, however, the stupid christmas hat he was forced to wear prevented him from doing even that. Frustration towards himself willed up in his chest, the feeling akin to a burn that refused to go away. 
It’s fine. You’re not gone yet. He still has time. 
Those were the thoughts he kept repeating in his head as he prepared your latte, the words on his wrist feeling tingly, as if stroked by the softest of feathers. 
All too soon, he finished and had to call out your drink, anticipation coursing through him. He saw you stand up, bright eyes seeking him out, only to abruptly look away upon finding his gaze rooted on you. 
He grabbed the cup, intent on handing it to you, but his fingers shook at the last second when your pretty gaze met his, and he nearly spilt the drink, but he saw a droplet escape, landing on your sleeve. He didn’t comment on it, he didn’t have the chance to. 
“Are you ok ?” You questioned him, you didn’t think he was the ditzy type, then again you don’t really know him. But even this knowledge didn’t stop the concern for the handsome stranger to bubble through you. Caring about him felt as natural as breathing. 
“Yeah. Sorry about that.” His previously monotone voice seemed just a bit more breathy, just a bit more deep, but enough to have you swooning even more then before. 
You smiled at him- and gosh wasn’t it the prettiest sight he’d see— and grabbed your drink from his seemingly clumsy hands and settled back on your table. If only the turmoil within his heart could be settled as well. 
………...…
You walked out, the bell once again jingling, but this time to signal your exit. The taste of the best latte that ever graced your mouth was still present on your tongue, the remnants reminding you of the handsome stranger who made it. 
You goofily smiled, happiness gushing out of you without rhyme or reason, however, when your hand went to cover your mouth, you saw it. A coffee stain on your white shirt. A heart shaped, coffee stain where your soul mark is. 
.……………
The bell jingled, signaling your arrival once again. It’s been a habit that you made to frequent the coffee shop at least three times a week, in hopes of seeing your soulmate. 
On instinct, your eyes sought the lackadaisical male, and they were blessed, for you saw him, in the same place as usual, sporting the Christmas hat that he always seems to have on. The hat that failed to do hide the soft purple locks that your hand ached to run through- 
“Latte ? With cream on top ?” 
“Yes” you should be flattered that he memorised your order, but then again, you have been coming here more then a devout Catholic frequents the church. You really just hoped he’d say something else. Everytime. 
He should know you’re his soulmate, shouldn’t he ? 
“That’ll be 2.99” Maybe he just doesn’t want you. 
“Thank you.” 
Dammit. Shinsou thought. Disappointment filled his chest when he saw your downtrodden face move away and sit at your regular table, leaving him to his own devices. It’s been about a month since he’s met you. A month since he discovered who his soulmate is. A month since you began to frequent the place he works at. A month since he failed to act on it. 
The aroma of coffee that surrounded him, while aromatic, filled him with an innate sense of bitterness as he acknowledged his cowardice. No amount of pep talk could get him to ask for your number, and everyday, he felt you slip further and further away from him. 
Coward. He repeated that over and over in his head as he added the whipped cream and called out your order . 
You’re going to be alone forever.
A few seconds pass by while he stared scornfully at the wall, ticking by painfully slowly, or so he thought, until he realised a few minutes had flown and you hadn’t come to take your drink. 
He glanced towards your table, eyebrows furrowed in concern. However, what met him didn’t manage to ease this. 
A purple eyed guy sat on your table, a shade lighter than Shinso’s, but enough to make him seem more livelier at a glance. His hair was golden and slicked, giving the stereotypical facade of a prince charming. He held your delicate palm in his own, even his hand played into the princely impression he gave off, not incredibly massive and impossibly smooth-even more so than your own. Shinsou hated him already. 
Shinsou lowered his head, his hair covering his eyes slightly, perhaps to shield him from this wretched sight. Is this what he gets from not acting sooner ? Are you on a date with him ? Oh God, he hopes not. But his hair couldn’t protect him from the blood curling sight of the jerk bringing your hand up to his crooked lips and lying a kiss on them. 
Shinso looked at you this time, and he can’t tell relief from happiness as both emotions flowed predominantly in his chest at the sight of your indignant features. Your lips were pulled down, the frown not taking a tiny ounce of your beauty, and you pulled your hand away from him. 
That’s when Shinsou decided that no, it’s not too late to act. It’s not too late to try to be the one who sits opposite to you in cafes, the one who can hold your hands and shower them with kisses, and the one who brings a smile to your face. Just as he was always meant to be. 
He grabbed your still steaming latte, walking up to your table calmly, nothing in his relaxed posture indicated the turmoil happening within him. 
“Monoma, I told you, I’m not going anywhere with you. Not again.” Shinsou heard you utter now that he was closer to your table, and the jer-Monoma, didn’t seem deterred in the slightest.
“Come on, (y/n). Let’s try this again-“ 
Shinsou halted him in his speech, putting your drink in front of you loudly enough to overpower the absolute gibberish spewing out of Monoma’s mouth. After doing do, he grabbed the hand that was previously held captive in Monoma’s own, and brought it up to his lips, lying a lingering kiss on it that had your face feeling warmer and heart palpitating at the turn of events. Shinsou fleetingly  glanced towards Monoma, and found all traces of self assurance wiped out. 
“Is he bothering you kitten ?” Asked Shinsou, kissing your forehead, making any cohesive response cooking in your brain a victim to burning, no, charring. 
“Um-uh, no ? It’s fine…” kitten ?! What the-did he just ? 
Why ? 
That question resonated in your head, among all the scattered thoughts and chaos. Because the soulmate that you thought didn’t want you was suddenly here, ‘rescuing’ you, calling you kitten and kissing you as if that’s all he’s ever known. 
You didn’t realise that you zoned out until Monoma was calling your name. 
“(Y/n), is it true ?” He asked, sounding somewhat betrayed. 
“What ?” You seemed like such a ditz right right now. 
“Are you dating this gloomy guy ? I didn’t know you found a replacement so quick.” You’re dating who now ? 
“Yeah.” Monoma quirked an eyebrow at your response, unimpressed, distrustful. He got a hold of the drink that Shinsou obsessed over, worried that he wouldn’t impress you, and took a sip. A sip of the drink that Shinsou prepared especially for you, with your bright, eye crinkling smile in mind and sincere thank you. Now Shinsou was certain he hated him. All smug smiles and shitty attitude. 
Monoma remained silent for a moment. His eyes hard and steely, alternating between you and Shinsou, until they brightened once again, almost as if a veil that had previously been placed over them had been lifted. He smiled his princely smile, his teeth making a brief appearance to dazzle their beholders with their brightness. 
“I don’t believe you. And I won’t stop pursuing (y/n) .” Shinsou ground his teeth at the audacity. How dare this assh- 
“But, I will if you show up to my Christmas ball and convince me. I’ll leave it up to you as to how. I want you to remind me of every moment we had together and make it feel meaningless in comparison to what I’m seeing before me.” He maintained his crooked smile while he spoke, but reached out into his pant pocket and pulled out a card with a location on it. The card was of medium thickness too. Even that screamed rich. 
Shinsou wasn’t sure what the appropriate response should be, it could be a solid ‘no, we don’t need to prove anything’ or a solid ‘yes, I’ll show you that whatever you had with her was nothing more than elementary crushing. At least to her.’ Shinsou was flooded with so many opportunities, that for a moment, he forgot what situation he placed himself in. 
What is he proving ? He isn’t dating you. He was a coward who hid behind a cashier because he couldn’t acknowledge that the one meant for him was right in front of him. 
“Monoma. Leave, you’ve said enough.” Your voice shattered the fake amiability that somehow built in the atmosphere. Shinsou and Monoma glared at each other openly, one with more hostility than the other. If Shinsou looked in the mirror right now, chance is he wouldn't recognize himself. Monoma gave Shinsou one last meaningful look before standing up and taking his leave. 
He was shorter than Shinsou, and he grasped into the fleeting feel of superiority the knowledge gave him. He could probably squash him like a pest too. 
“What was that about ?” Your gaze was directed at him now, icy and expectant, Shinsou gulped, not having expected the sheer amount of seriousness pooling in your irises. 
“I saw how uncomfortable you looked, I just wanted to help you out.” You sighed at his answer. It was stupid of you to expect anything from him. Maybe you are wrong though. You held on to the fleeting hope, a thread to thin to keep you afloat. 
“You know I’m your soulmate, right ?” Shinsou nodded, guilt written across his face. 
“Yeah, the first thing you said to me is written on my wrist.” 
And the thread of hope snapped. It’s just as you thought. He knew before you, all those days that you came, desperate for his acknowledgment but to no avail and it was true. The dark thoughts that you tried to keep at bay festered, tangling together producing something ugly. 
You stood up abruptly, shocking Shinsou. 
“Thanks for trying to help. I think you only made things worse.” His face became ridden with guilt, he didn’t want to cause you inconvenience. He only ever wanted to help you out— but why didn’t he think this through ? 
“I’m sorry-I don’t know why I did this.” He was desperately trying to salvage this, knowing that the moment you left, you would be gone, for good, no more chances. 
“Yeah, I don’t know why either.” You hissed angry, grabbing your coat and leaving.
…..………………
Shinsou laid on his bed, face mushed against the pillows and eyes bloodshot. He single handedly messed up everything. Then again, he has a knack for doing that. 
It’s Christmas day, and Shinsou rejected all invites to dinners made by friends and family alike, opting to instead wallow in misery. He hasn’t seen you since that day. He probably lost you forever, and he didn’t even get the chance to properly get to know you. He glanced at his wrist, the sentence written on it something he fantasised about as a child many times. It’s what led him to working in a coffee shop, aside from his love for coffee. He knew one day, his soulmate would come along, and say the re-enact the writing on his wrist, be the sugar to his bitter self. 
He finally stood up from his bed, stretching his weary limbs. It felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. His eyes caught the card Monojerk gave him though. 
His last chance to be with you…. 
………………
Shinsou stood at the entrance of the huge mansion that Monoma is the owner of, apparently. He’d been standing there for two hours, after coming an hour early to make sure he didn’t miss you in case you did come. People continuously flooded inside, their laughter and smiles a clear contrast to Shinsou’s straight face. 
All of it merged together, making a meaningless sound that didn’t resonate within Shinsou, the only thing he registered was the icy wind biting his skin-he opted out of wearing a coat, and the anxiety reigning within him, making his palms clammy despite the weather. He’s here to make things right. This is his last chance. He can feel it in his very bones. 
He only hopes you'll come. 
But all thoughts flew out of his head when his ears picked up the angelic sound of your laughter, surrounded by friends on either side of you, but they dulled in comparison to you, only side characters while you owned the spotlight. His heart thudded in his chest. 
He’ll make things right. 
………
Contradictory to what you thought, when your soulmate approached you, your friends didn’t tell him to shove it and to leave you alone. No, oh no, they pushed you towards him and patted him on the back with encouraging smiles. They really just want the best for you. You didn’t think your night would be playing out like this, but here you are, dancing with him. 
“Why are you here ?” You questioned, not irritated, but your shoulders were slumped as if you’d given up. 
“I’m here because I—I want to finally talk to you. Something I should have done the moment you spoke to me.” He answered, his deep voice ringing clearly in your ear despite the ruckus around you, sending tingles down your spine. You’d never heard such a calming voice. 
“And why didn’t you ? I came everyday, hoping you’d mention something. I guess I could’ve as well but, when I discovered who you are to me, the moment was over and gone. But why didn’t you ?” Your emotions were pouring out, tumbling clumsily. You couldn’t get a hold of them. 
His hand felt warm on your waist, and you were enshrouded with his warmth, and even his virile scent made you feel safe. You wanted to be as nonchalant as he seemed to be, but you couldn’t, you could never when it comes to the mysterious man who’s so good at making lattes and making your heart pound. 
“I’m sorry. I wanted to. Every single time you came. But I don’t know. I guess I was scared. When I saw you, you always seemed to be glowing, as if you made the world your star while you shined like the sun. I knew I could never compare to that, and I knew you were too good for me. But, if there’s a chance that you’d have me, I’ll fight tooth and nail for it.” You listened intently to every word that came out of his mouth, shocked. You remained silent for a few seconds, not knowing how to respond to this newfound discovery. You ? Too good for him ? 
Instead of responding, however, you stilled your movement and grabbed  his face, bringing him down for a kiss, much to the shock of everyone around you and the man himself. It didn’t take long for Shinsou to respond, while everyone around who were rendered to side characters. 
Shinsou doesn’t really need presents, entertainment, or food on Christmas, the biggest blessing is right here in his arms. It’s all he could ever ask for. 
…………
Bonus
Monoma looked on, scrunching his face in disgust at seeing his ex kiss the gloomy bastard. He had wanted to talk to you since you came in, but everytime he tried to approach you, someone would come to him and distract him. And well, it was in his nature to revel in attention and adoration. He was surprised that you didn’t run back to him, but he could see it now. Monoma had never seen you do something so bold with so many people around, but love does bring you to new heights.
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veilder · 3 years
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What's your philosophy on writing? ;)
Omg, coming out swinging with this ask. XD I can just feel a rambling, stream of consciousness answer waiting to come out. XD So, lemme think... I mean, considering I haven’t done very much writing at all in the last half a year, I don’t even know anymore? And before that, I never really considered myself... an actual writer, either. Reader, yes. Commenter, sure. Writing was like... It was my least polished skill, y’know? I’d only ever tried to write some fics casually before 2019 and I certainly never published any of them, omg. And I never expected that anything I did publish would get any sort of response. So... It’s all still sort of an ephemeral concept to me. When I talk about fanfic authors, I always think of other people first, lol. Always think of their epic, sweeping fics first.  I guess it more comes down to knowing I’ll never quite have that same impact, y’know? I consider the stuff I write as cheap, popcorn fics. There’s not really a lot there, really. The stuff I write is cliché and predictable and it’s not super evocative. I... don’t know why I do it, really. The enthusiasm has certainly drained out of me recently.  I guess... It’s not that I don’t like my own writing. On the contrary, I don’t think I could’ve written any of it if I wasn’t fully invested. But it’s not like... integral in any way, shape or form. I don’t have the same spark I did at the start of things anymore and I don’t have someone to discuss ideas with or try and drive me forward anymore. So I’m just kinda... languishing atm.  ...God, what a depressing answer. -_- Sorry, this probably wasn’t the sort of answer you were expecting. Writing is a hobby and it should be fun I guess. And it was for me for a time. But it was always so, so stressful, too. I loved getting the ideas I had out of my head an onto paper, but I was always so anxious all the time. I wanted my stories to be good and I agonized over them relentlessly. And I think that, with the last thing I wrote being such a crunch, I’m just super burnt out right now. Which is a shame, cuz I still have so many ideas I’d like to get around to.  So, I guess tl;dr is, I’ve never really considered myself a genuine author and writing is as stressful as it is rewarding for me. And I’d like to do more of it but I can’t muster the motivation anymore.  Sorry if this was a rather... sad answer. My ramblings weren’t exactly the happiest this time around, lol. And I hope no one gets discouraged from this, these are my own issues I’m dealing with. But... yeah. That’s my current philosophy on the matter.
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Baby Boy (Draco x Reader)
Hi! this was requested but I didn’t know tumblr didn’t keep messages so I don’t remember the user name of the person who requested, sorry!! BTW sorry if it sucks, its my first time writing something with pregnancy xD Warning:Lucius, Cussing, fluff, pregnancy 1.7k words
Summary: Reader pregnant with Draco’s baby, time jump to when you discovered, time jump during, and time jump to an event causing you to go into labor.
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You were walking around diagon alley looking around for your Husband holding your belly, you were around 8 months pregnant and were shopping around for the nursery "Malfoy, where the hell are you" you said going into shops searching for the white-haired boy. You've looked through every store there and decided to take a drastic measure and check the Dark Magic stores, going into Knockturn Alley "Uh Miss Malfoy I don't think it's a good idea going there, they know who you are" a shop owner said "It's okay I'm just looking for Draco, maybe he's there" you said giving them a small smile and going into the Dark Alley. A chill ran down your spine as you entered the dark place looking around "Draco if you're here I'll kill you" you said under your breath walking around carefully peering your eyes into store trying not to be seen "My my, look what we have here"  You stopped at the middle of your tracks looking back at who was talking "fuck" you said Lucius Malfoy stood behind you with a smirk on his face "What do you want Lucius" you said getting nervous "Oh nothing darling I just wanted to see if my grandson our granddaughter was all right" he said  "You know you're not allowed to talk to any of us after that day" you said backing away he just laughed getting closer to you "I know, and it's all your fault” he said as he grabbed you neck pushing against the wall, a sharp breath leaving your mouth, you felt your heart beating so hard you thought it would pop out of your chest “Lucius don’t do this please” you said tears starting to well up “please” you said in a whisper as your eye began getting hazy “Stop” you heard as you began losing your breath and consciousness “Draco” you said as everything went black. 
“Draco” you said smiling calling him “Come here please” you said signaling him as he stood up from his bed “I have a surprise!” you said excited as you hugged him “Uhh what is it” he said chuckling lightly hugging you back “So, do you remember that night that we went to Ron and Hermione's wedding?” “Mm yes” he said kissing your forehead “Okay what did we do after that?” you said Draco smirked “Something you might want to do now?” he said you playfully slapped his chest “No, at least not for nine months” you said while handing him a positive test “W-what?” he said letting a loud breath as he grabbed the test looking at it “Is this real?” he said looking at you “Yes” you said in a whisper like tone then he grabbed you a kissed you smiling to the kiss “We’re going to be parents” you said hugging him  
Suddently you woke up chest heavy trying to find your breath, you're on the floor “How dare you touch her” you heard someone scream you tried stand “Draco” you said in a whisper “You should've never married that mudblood” you heard Lucius say looking at you “Cruciatus” he said as you screamed In agonizing pain “STOP” you heard Draco “Avada Kedavra” you heard him his voice breaking say watching Lucius fall to the grown. Draco running towards you as you let tears fall from your face holding yourself “Y/n, you're okay, you're okay” you heard Draco say with a shaky voice “You're Bleeding” he said looking down on you and you followed his gaze looking at your thighs your jeans getting red you screamed as you felt yourself slipping out of consciousness the pain becoming unbearable “Apparition” you heard Draco scream as it all went black.
   You were sitting on the couch hands on your belly, you were already 6 months along and finally started showing Draco taking a seat beside you “When are we going to tell my parents?” he said looking nervously at you, you didn’t know if you wanted to tell them, Narcissa loved you but Lucius hated you for being a muggle-born and you know that “I don’t know Draco, your dad scares me” you said “I know babe, but they’ll find out eventually so better late than never”  he said laying a kiss in your forehead standing up “Ill sent them a letter and invite them over for dinner” he said heading out “Okay” you said in a whisper as you hugged yourself. Dinner came by and you got more nervous than before and you knew Draco was nervous himself. You stood by him holding his hands as you watched his parents arrive at your house, you felt nauseous as Draco squeezed tight your hand reassuring that everything would be alright. His mom came first she hugged you tightly “Hello darling” she said with a genuine smile then she went to hug her son “My Boy” she said “Good to see you Mum” he said hugging her back “Draco” you heard tensing up “Father” Draco said with a stern look on his face while Lucious just looked at you with a Disgusting face, Narcissa took your hand on that very moment “Come on Honey, let's go inside you have a lot to tell me, How's Draco treating you?” she said smiling as you giggled and went inside. After Dinner you all sat in the living room, Lucius hasn’t said a word to you but Narcissa has been treating you like her daughter, she didn’t like muggle-born but she saw how happy you were making his son, she had never seen him look so content with life, she just knew she had to make an exception and she made the right choice, now Lucius didn’t even take his sons feeling into consideration, he never did OfCourse, he hated you, he wanted you gone, he didn’t want you to ruin the pure blood in the family, his thought being interrupted by Draco “We have something to tell you guys” he said causing them to look up at you and Draco, you put your hands on your stomach and smiles “NO” said Lucius said standing up, “You will NOT ruin our blood” he said Draco pushing you behind him “Calm Down, Lucius” you heard Narcissa say “No, I will not let them ruin us Narcissa, don’t you see it, how could you accept this thing”  he said pointing at you, you could feel Draco tense up “You don’t get it Father? I was never happy, when I finally find someone who loves me and accepts me after everything that happened you still can’t be a little happy for me?” he said angrily, his father scoffed “I could find you someone Pure and well for the blood line Draco, someone who won't ruin our name” “Our name was ruined when you decided to follow the dark lord” he said Lucius looking at him “I will not let you ruin us” he said lifting his wand pointing it at you “Avada-” “No” you heard Draco Scream standing in front of you hugging you “DEPULSO” you heard Narcissa scream and everything went silent . You looked up and Lucius was nowhere to be found Narcissa standing there with her wand in her hand as she looked at the spot where the man stood “Mum...” Draco whispered “He was going to kill you, I had to” she said her hands shaking “It’s okay” Draco said letting go of you making his way to his mother “Mum, we’re okay” hugging her and you slowly walked towards them “Thank you” you said tears welling up “Thank you Narcissa” you said hugging her as she hugged you back “I can't lose Draco, and I don’t want to lose you either” she said giving you a smile. 
“Y/n, y/n, wake up” you heard as you slowly regain consciousness opening your eyes slowly “W-where am I?” you asked looking around slowly “Were at St. Mungo's, you were attacked by my father and started bleeding, the Doctors told me that you were alright and that the baby is also fine, but they want to keep you for observation since you're close to the end of the pregnancy, the damage you took may cause you to go into labor sooner”  he said running his hands through your as he smiled weakly at you  “Your Dad” you said “Y-you killed him, Draco” you said placing your hand on his cheek “He was going to kill you both, y/n” he said putting his hand on yours “I’d rather lose someone who's made me suffer other than loosing someone who's made me love life”  he said kissing your hand and taking it into his, suddenly a sharp pain ran through your body “Fuck” you screamed “What's wrong?” Draco said standing up “I NEED A DOCTOR NOW” he screamed as he watched you with a worry look on his face “You're okay Darling” he said as the doctor came in “Okay looks like she's going into labor” “Already? I thought she still had time” Draco said looking at him in disbelief “Well Malfoy, the consequence's that she suffered cause her to go into labor earlier but don’t worry she's in good hands” the Doctor said giving him a pat in the back as he stared at you, looking at you in pain was the worst, he hated it “I'll be okay Draco” you said feeling the contraction go  “We’re ready” giving him a light squeeze on his arm, a soft smile appeared on his face “We’re ready” he said. The labor was intense, you cursed out Draco for getting you pregnant as Draco just stood there holding your hand laughing as his sweet, loving, kind Wife told him to fuck off “Y/N, I need you to push please” the doctor said you screamed as you pushed hard breathing rapidly “come on two more” he said and you pushed again squeezing Draco's hand “ouch” he said “ Shut up” you screamed at him as you pushed again hearing crying “He’s here” you heard the doctor say “H-he?” you said “Yes, a wonderful and healthy baby boy” he said as he placed him on your chest “Draco, it’s a boy” you said looking at him tears streaming down both of your faces “He’s wonderful” he said laying a kiss on your forehead and placing a hand on the small boys back as you hummed “My boys” you said turning your head and placing a small kiss on Draco's lips smiling. 
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candiliam328 · 4 years
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Season 1 was SO musically superior! Like imma be honest, there are very few songs I remember or liked from season 2. I think in hell I’ll be in good company, golden brown, and major Tom are the ones I can think of off the top of my head. Season 1's soundtrack is iconic. Phantom of the opera? I think we're alone now? The Walker? Shingaling? Kill of the night, hazy shade of winter, happy together, run boy run, picture book, don’t stop me now... they’re all so good! No mistakes were made XD
YES. YES. YES. 
ok this is going to be an extremely long answer and... 
Necessary disclaimer: these are just all my personal opinions (pls don’t attack me)
Season 1 was a musical masterpiece. The OST and the pop music worked really well together. But I... wasn’t impressed with the music in S2. There’s lots of reasons why.
But what you’re talking about... honestly same. I just looked through a playlist of the pop music in S2 and I didn’t remember most of them? Couldn’t even guess what scenes they might play in? That’s... an immediate failing. If you put a song in a show, it needs to be a deliberate choice and it needs to mean something or else why would you bother including that song? 
yike I can literally talk about this for hours (more below the cut)
Music in cinema is really... weird. Even more so when you introduce pop music. 
Ok, let’s go from the beginning... a good musical scoring is supposed to reflect what is happening on your screen. It’s meant to support but not overwhelm. A good musical scoring will implicitly tell you more about the story than what you are visually given... but it’s incredibly subtle. You’re not meant to realize that you’re getting some extra info because that would distract you from what’s actually happening on the screen. Some background processing of info, if you get what I mean. (more to come in my OST analysis, should it ever be finished I guess lol)
This isn’t the case with pop music. This can’t be the case with pop music. 
Remember, the OST is original composition. Written specifically for this show. Only introduced to you in the context of this show.
Popular music, by definition, exists outside the context of this show. 
So there’s a really subtle balance that needs to be kept here when introducing pop music because you risk taking your audience out of the moment and making them think of other memories they already associate with that song. 
How do you combat that? Well, diagetic music (music built into the show, like “I Think We’re Alone Now”) tends to be more easily digested and accepted as part of the show material, since the characters are obviously hearing this music as well and interacting/reacting to the music. You have visual confirmation that this music is part of the show as well as auditory stimulation, so brain is less likely to wander off on its own journey. 
But the more clever way? Have an incredibly meaningful scene tied with it, something that fits in all the right ways and allows it to work like the score, giving you additional information without you even knowing it. Something that overpowers your brain’s tendency to get distracted by whatever other context you may associate with that pop song. Something that will grab your brain and be like “Sorry, brain. This song is officially a TUA song.”
This obviously works best if you have very little memories associated with the song, so the more obscure the song the better. But if you’re an absolute mad genius with your music and your cinematic timing, you can overpower any association with any song, no matter how popular it is. (... ever wonder why every song in Shrek became an immediate Shrek song? yeah lol)
You also have to recognize that the pop music in TUA or in any other piece of cinema that includes pop music? It does not exist in auditory isolation. There’s a running stream of background music and sounds and noises. Clever sound production will make the jump between music as smooth as possible. Clever scoring will think about how to weave a narrative, while keeping in mind the pop music that will be inserted as well. Make everything as subtle and smooth as possible. Your job is to not take the audience away from the narrative of the screen.
Ok, that was a lot of background info. You may be asking, “LOL BEAN WHAT’S YOUR MAIN POINT?”
Alright, so here it is.
The pop music in season 2 was pretty much doomed to be less effective from the get-go. 
The original score of TUA is composed by the lovely Jeff Russo. From my understanding, he knew what pop music was already planned for season 1 before he even got to scoring. This is important. Because he could make choices about the score and the motifs, while keeping the pop music in mind. He could make a more cohesive sound and music experience. And it worked.
There were deliberate choices made with the pop music. They prioritized and made sure you heard them in the right contexts. I will tell you now that there may be some pop music in season 1 that you completely forgot about. That’s OK. You weren’t necessarily supposed to remember them that much. You can’t be expected to pick up on everything. But the ones that played during the most important scenes? “Run Boy Run,” “Don’t Stop Me Now,” “The Walker,” “Never Tear Us Apart”? You know them. They played them longer and they took the time for your ears to appreciate the music and recognize its context in the show. None of this works if your ears and your brain don’t have enough time to process and form the associations of this song with what is happening on the screen. And they resonated with you the most because they reflected what was happening in the show the strongest. These are the important scenes you were supposed to care about and will play in your mind now whenever you hear those songs. 
But an even stronger testament to the integrity of pop music in S1: The other songs you forgot about and can’t name off the top of your head? You can listen to them again and maybe even make a good guess at when they were playing in the show. They... fit the show somehow, even if you can’t exactly place it. 
And this all makes sense if they chose these songs even before they started filming. Even before they started most of the scoring. 
In season 1, choices were made because of the pop music. 
... not so much the case for season 2. 
I’ve spent less time on the music for season 2 and honestly I don’t plan to spend much more ahaha... But here’s my two cents:
The music in season 2... is incredibly confused. You no longer have this cohesive sound experience that showed up in season 1. The OST is stuck with motifs that were developed with pop music from s1 in mind. Also, Russo played really hard into the fact that Vanya played the violin in season 1 and now there’s no violin at all on-screen, but he’s stuck with an excess amount of violin in the scoring, so there’s already less of a connection there. Not only that, but Russo is no longer the sole score composer, was working on other projects while scoring this one, so there’s less time from him dedicated to make this score work, but also a slightly different sound being introduced from another composer.
Now, add in the messiness of time travel to the 1960′s. The OST is not the 1960's. Not even the new tracks introduced. So the 1960′s sound is... trying to come from the pop music. The pop music that doesn’t blend in with your OST because your OST was developed for a time set in the present. 
But wait! Your S1 soundtrack got really popular because of its prime pop music choices... music that fit really well with your scenes. Let’s do that... but even more. Let’s use really popular music !! Backstreet boys, maybe some covers of Billie Eilish, and Adele. Everyone knows these songs !! They’ll see how clever we are and it’ll make them laugh !! 
(Notably, this kinda ruins the charm that they were hoping to replicate from S1? Honestly, several times while I was watching S2, I literally shook my head and closed my eyes, thinking.... “of course, they would play this.” Took me completely out of the show. Yeah, it can be really fun, but idk if you are thinking about the people behind cinematic decisions during your first watch of a show, those people probably messed up at their job?)
But wait, I thought you were using your pop music to establish the 1960′s theme? Now some of your music is directly clashing with that and the environmental setting? You’re confused. What are you supposed to be taking away from the pop music now?
And here’s something even more messy: the pop music in S1 was so incredibly important in establishing the musical identity of your characters, since they were played during some of the most defining character moments. Consciously or not, you have some musical expectations already for each of the characters. Not only that, but you’re expecting this pop music to be telling you more things about your characters than what you’re seeing on the screen. What happens when those expectations are not met? There’s some cognitive dissonance. You’re mentally taken out of the show, thinking about other things. Confused about what you’re supposed to take away from this music. Bad. Musical. Decisions.
So... what does that leave you with for the music in season 2?
A mess of 1960′s music and clunky ‘on-the-nose’ music choices, which may or may not clash with the established musical identities of the characters and all clumsily tied together with a struggling OST for the musically confused ears of the audience.
Tldr; Season 1 was a musical masterpiece. The Season 2 music never even had a chance.
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YANDERE NAGA (or drider!) IZUKU!! Imagine his darling riding his back because she's too pregnant to walk, aaaaaa I can't my heart is too softaksjkdjksjkjsk!
this totally got away from me and didn’t follow the plot, and im not very happy with the smut, but I hope you like it! If not feel free to reask and ill try to follow your request better next time :)
Also, like most of my works this was written in (basically?) one sitting and isn’t beta’d so im sorry for any mistakes or weird wording xD
Warnings: Noncon, oviposition, Izuku’s part spider so spiders, female reader
“Doll, you need to be more careful! You shouldn’t be out in your condition~” 
You bit your lip choking down the weak sobs that threatened to bubble out as you were cradled in the drider’s arms, being oh so carefully wrapped in his web, tied up and “protected”, left unable to move other than the violent shivers that wracked your body as you were carefully moved to rest on the spiders back, cringing as the feeling of his furry body pressed against yours. Even now that you were sitting down, resting against your “mates” body, your stomach still rolled, the swell of your stomach feeling tight and sickening, with every shift you could feel the eggs stuffed inside you rolling and grinding against each other.
You had tried your best to take advantage of Izuku leaving you in a panic, frantic to hunt down more food for the two of you when he saw the snow starting to fall from the clouds, coating the normally green forest in a haze of white. In his rush to find food before the cold completely took over and drove any prey into their burrows, he hadn’t completely secured you in his web, and with just a few weak wiggles you had managed to pull free, crying out as you collapsed to the ground. 
After struggling against the loose webs, you had managed to stumble to your feet, your balance completely different now that you had this new heavy weight in your stomach. Every movement had been slow, but you had managed to waddle your way out of the cave, only making it a few steps out before you collapsed, legs shaking from exertion, nausea rolling through you making you dry heave, the movement of your stomach clenching causing the eggs stuffed inside you to grind sickeningly together, starting a whole new cycle, leaving you unable to move, shivering and blue lipped in the snow until the drider found you again. 
“I didn’t think you would miss me so much~! I always forget how fragile and lonely humans get so quickly, especially when its cold~” 
The delighted coos and clicks of the green spider pulled you from your thoughts, the blood in your veins turning to ice as his next words registered. 
“Don’t worry! I have plenty of ways to make sure you get warmed up~” 
Either oblivious or ignoring the loud sobs and desperate pleas that immediately started bubbling from your lips, Izuku hummed softly as he carefully pulled you off of his back cradling you gently in his arms as he cut away the webs he had wrapped you up in, clicking softly in disapproval as he felt your cold skin as he rewrapped you up, tying you to his nest, arms trapped to your sides as he spread your legs wide. 
“I-izuku! Please- Please I c-cant-! N-no more! Please!” 
Tears streamed down your face as a (luckily) human hand slid down to rub at your entrance, dipping in causing your legs to jerk as you twitched around him, whimpering frantically, choking on air as you sobbed harder, chest heaving as you whimpered down at him desperately. 
“I-i can’t-! I-im too full! Izuku!”
Dread filled you as you watched green eyes light up when you whined out his name so pathetically, instantly you knew you had just sealed your fate, even as the hand pulled away from your sex just to cradle your face, thumbs wiping away the tears as you squeezed your eyes shut, refusing to look at him even as he ran his fingers across your eyes, trying to coax them open. 
“Doll~ It’s okay~ You can take it, I know you can~ I think you just need a little help relaxing~”
Soft frantic whimpers bubbled out from you as you felt fangs sink into your neck, the familiar burn of his venom flowing through your veins starting immediately. Almost immediately you fell slack against the webs, held up only by them at the arms/legs that wrapped around you, pulling you closer to him. Hazily you looked up at him, tears still brimming in your eyes even as your body went completely slack. 
“There we go~ Now isn’t that so much better?~”
Unable to do anything you were left watching as his hand slid back down to your cunt, head lolling against his shoulder as small whimpers and moans managed to slip past your limp lips as he rubbed at your clit. 
“Such a good mate...I’ll breed you so full you won’t even be able to move, you’ll just have to rely on your big strong mate to come back and take care of you~” 
You moaned weakly, tears burning in your eyes even though you couldn’t cry any longer, left unable to do anything but lay there and feel and take it as fingers slipped into you, starting to tenderly stretch you open as a thumb rubbed insistently at your clit, determined to make you feel good no matter how badly you didn’t want to. It wasn’t long before the constant stimulation had you crying out weakly into the driders shoulder, drooling as your climax rolled through you, your thighs twitching even with the venom pumping through your veins. 
“Such a good little mate, my good little girl~” 
You gasped weakly for air, pleasure still lingering inside you as he shifted you, settling you fully against his nest as his cock nudged against your entrance, causing a weak protesting whimper to come from you, one that was quickly hushed as he pushed inside. 
Your thighs were pushed up, causing you to whimper in pain as they touched your stomach, the position making it all the more apparent how full you were, stuffed to the brim between the eggs and cock stuffed inside of you. And yet there were more still to come. 
You could feel it already, feel the egg pushing inside of you, dragging across your g-spot painfully slow, grinding in just the right way that had you moaning and sobbing, the torture mixed with pleasure driving you insane. You couldn’t even squirm or grip the web below you to stabilize yourself, left in a limbo of feeling nothing but the pleasure of the egg grinding against your most sensitive spot, slowly pushing in till it fell in place with the others, pushing even harder against your walls in a way that made your stomach roll desperately, begging to throw up.
Not that you had much time to focus on that, just as the first one fell into place the next one was there, grinding deep inside of you, demanding your full attention. Fuck. The drider wasn’t even thrusting, standing completely still as he stared down at you with those loving, doting eyes as you fell apart, drinking in your pitiful surrender. You couldn’t even beg him to stop, not that he ever would.
You didn’t know how long you laid there, shaking and whimpering through orgasm after orgasm, Izuku coaxing one after the other out of you, even when it started to hurt, your legs cramping as you shook weakly, having laid there long enough the venom had weakened enough your toes curled with every climax, your body tensing as you rode it out before slumping once it was done. Everything became hazy, time slipping away from you. You were pretty sure you had passed out a few times, sliding back into consciousness by your own moans and Izuku’s delighted praises as your body shook. 
“All done, baby~ You’ve done so well, so perfect for me, the perfect little mate...”
He kissed away tears that you didn’t even realize were sitting on your cheeks, his cock easing out of you slowly, leaving you whimpering as you instinctively clamped down to stop any eggs from falling out. You had already made that mistake once...
You jerked slightly whimpering when a hand ran over your distended belly, reminding you of the heavy weight that you had managed to tune out until now. Stuffed didn’t even begin to describe the feeling that had you trembling hard as your mate fully wrapped you up this time, cooing and stroking your hair as your eyes slid closed, unable to find the energy to cry or even focus on what had just happened, all you knew was the hand combing through your sweaty hair felt nice...
Exhausted you felt yourself soothed to sleep by the feeling of fingers sliding through your hair and the soft pleased humming of your mate.
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tracybirds · 4 years
Text
Don’t talk to me about timelines XD lockdown 3.0 was an unpleasant surprise but it did give me some fun fodder to play with. Missing from this were the stream of Valentines to Covid that spread around my section of NZ social media XD I was tempted to make Scott write some, but alas it didn’t fit. Obviously plenty has been fudged, it’s definitely not meant to be taken too seriously and more allows me to collect together some of the mixed emotions of getting a five hour countdown to lockdown D: That was not fun lol like far out, and we had to prepped for remote learning by 9am the next day. Scott is not allowed to complain further in his swanky apartment and no job XDD
In all seriousness, this is Scott’s story for FabFiveFeb2021, hosted by the ever lovely @gumnut-logic (Happy Birthday! still the right day in Aus, I didn’t miss it right :0 either way *hugs*** and I hope it was a nice day :DD)
Prompt used was “Are you kidding?” - it really resonated on Sunday evening ahaha (okay I will stop rambling in my defense it’s post midnight and I have feverishly pummelled this out in a couple of hours, it had been itching at me all day.... I missed that feeling :DDD)
----------------------
Scott was International Rescue through and through, but in the murky waters of the central business district, he thrived.
It was a closed meeting, stretching into the long shadowy hours of the evening. Legal advisors quibbled over clauses while Scott exchanged pleasantries with the company representatives, talking up his local ties to New Zealand’s City of Sails.
“My Dad taught me to sail, right out there in the harbour, you know.”
A casual remark but carefully designed to make himself seem approachable and down-to-earth, just another “one of the guys”. His associate had also sailed once, a national representative in his youth, although time and his new habit of lunch meetings had left those days long in the past.
Personal connections made more money than the lawyers in the background ever could, and Scott prided himself on the homegrown touch.
“Mine too,” said the jovial, middle aged man. “Although I reckon it wasn’t near as pretty a yacht as yours. I’ve read up on you as well, you know.”
Scott laughed, clapping the man on the shoulder.
“Len, I knew we’d get on. What do you say to dinner? This has been going on for far too long.”
“I know a great place that keeps a table reserved for me. Even on Valentine’s.”
“I’m flattered.” He nodded to Van Zyl briefly before addressing the small crowd.
“Ladies, gentlemen. You’ve done some good work, and it’s been a long one. We’ll leave it here for the night and reconfer in the morning.”
He acknowledged the tired smiles and leaned back and listened as the chatter evolved from the dry intricacies of patent law into cheery conversation of dinner plans and family time ahead.
He turned and looked out at the city, lights starting to turn on in the early evening light. The sun wouldn’t set for another half hour or so and he wanted to make the most of what they had left in the day.
So did the rest of the Auckland population it seemed. Cars were flooding into the area, people starting to stream into office buildings.
“So, Federal Street?”
“Len, what’s going on down there?” he asked, jabbing a finger down at the street below.
“Sorry?”
He and Len watched, dumbfounded as the office buildings lit up one by one, lights turning on and off again mere minutes later.
“Mr Tracy! Mr Van Zyl!”
“Charlotte, what is it? What’s happening?”
“Oh, Scott, I mean, Mr Tracy, sorry sir.”
“Charlotte. Take a breath,” commanded Scott, letting the authority of Thunderbird One bleed into his voice. “Tell us what’s happened.”
Charlotte shook her head, her hand creeping up over her mouth. She handed him her tablet.
“It’s a civil defence lockdown, effective midnight.”
A cold dread crept up Scott’s spine.
“Tonight?!”
Len pulled out a comm beside him and started dialling. The person on the other end picked up at the first ring, and dimly Scott could hear her calm, measured voice transmitted through the device.
“Can I help?” he asked, still staring at the stark words on the page.
“I… uh... help? Sir?”
“With the civil defence response, with the company, I don’t know!” He looked up, desperation in his eyes. “What can I do to help?”
Charlotte shook her head, pressing her lips together tightly.
“Mr Tracy, we have an isolation response in place, at your father’s request. Leave the board to organise the company, you need to get home and…”
“No.”
Charlotte’s voice pitched up a near octave.
“Sir, I must insist…”
“There are lockdown protocols on the island as well,” snapped Scott. “I can’t just go home, risk my family, my Grandma.”
She shook her head again.
“You can’t help here. They’ve done it before. It’s Level Three, people will be able to collect gear tomorrow if needed, we’re set up for remote offices and the last thing people need is you dilly-dallying in the top office.”
A loud shrieking alarm pierced through her final words and Scott flinched at the sound.
Len yelped next to him, dropping his comm with a curse.
“Damn emergency alerts, don’t they know the whole country has heard by now? Why do they just SHUT UP!” he bellowed at the still beeping comm. “It’s so unnecessary, the first time we went under, I thought we were about to evacuate for a volcanic eruption. Staying home, it’s hardly an emergency.”
Charlotte did little to hide her scorn, but Scott smothered a smile as he read through the full message.
“Okay, fine,” he said at last. “I can bunker down at the apartment for a few days.”
“Weeks, I’d be prepping for,” interrupted Len. “Hard to say of course, but they keep extending them.”
“You know why we do it,” said Charlotte, coolly.
He shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I have to pretend it’s a holiday like everyone else seems to do.”
“Well, there never was any rest for the wicked, they say,” quipped Scott.
Len barked a sudden laugh.
“You’re alright, Tracy. Shame about how this ended, I’d have liked a bite with you.”
“Well, there’s always next time. Maybe we’ll find time for a shared celebration after all this.”
“My treat, Tracy, my treat,” he said with a chuckle. “Take care now.”
Scott nodded a farewell and turned back to Charlotte.
“You’re going to be fine?”
“I’ll go stay with my Mum,” she said, easily. “She doesn’t like to be in her house alone, and I can’t say I blame her. Holotech’s just not the same as being there, you know?”
“I certainly do,” said Scott, thinking of his brothers, hundreds of kilometres away. “Thank you, Charlotte, I’ll be seeing you.”
“Good luck, Scott.”
***
The downtown apartment was a mere fifteen minute walk from Tracy Tower, but with Charlotte’s words echoing in the back of his mind, the thought of potentially weeks stuck in an incredibly well furnished, yet incredibly unstocked apartment plaguing him, he opted to swing past the local supermarket. Located at the heart of the city, it was never quiet at the best of times but this was unlike anything Scott had ever seen.
The tension in the packed shop was thick as the throng that filled it. Over half the customers were already wearing masks, glaring suspiciously at those who had gone without and Scott self-consciously tugged his rain jacket higher.
Essentials, he thought wildly, just eggs and milk and bread and….
There was no bread. No flour either and the confectionary aisle was already looking sparse. He grabbed a few chocolate bars and threw them in the basket.
“Excuse me,” he said, waving down a frantic and wild-eyed shop assistant. “Do you have any bread out back?”
“No way man, haven’t you heard? Lockdown hits in like three hours, people are going mental.”
“But I don’t have any food at home, I was meant to be flying back tomorrow morning.”
The shop assistant, Ariki as his name badge proclaimed him, grimaced in sympathy.
“That’s hard luck that is. You don’t live in Auckland?”
“No, I don’t. But I won’t be able to get home now either.”
He nodded, like he’d heard it before.
“You’re thinking this is like last year, aren’t you?”
“I, uh, yes.”
“Right,” said Ariki, still nodding along with him. “Right, well it’s not quite the same so don’t stress out. Look, you can still get takeaways this time, we’ll be restocked tomorrow and all the real crazies–” he nodded towards a pair who were arguing over what looked like the last can of baked beans, “–yeah, they’ll be tucked up at home, refusing to take a step outside, it’ll be sweet as.”
Scott stared at him, then looked over at the line snaking through the frozen food aisle, between the meat and dairy and coiling up in the sad looking and so-called fresh produce.
The two chocolate bars and eggs he’s managed to grab hardly seemed worth it at all.
“I can put those back if you want.”
“Yeah,” said Scott, dazedly. “Yeah, thanks that’s be great.”
Ariki smirked a little.
“We’re reopening at seven, yeah? I’ll see you then.”
“Thanks again,” called Scott as he hurried from the shop.
The rain that had been threatening its arrival all weekend was starting to appear, and Scott hurried home, ducking his head down and shoving his hands in his pockets. He knew there’d be enough food for at least his dinner tonight and Ariki was right, he could sort the rest in the morning.
A swipe of his keycard, and he shut out the world with a muffled slam of the door and a sigh.
He shucked off his rain jacket, not bothering to hang it up, and trudged into the kitchen. It wasn’t like there’d be anyone around to complain for a while and he was starving. Lunch, the little afternoon tea nibbles they’d provided, even his last coffee felt like it had been drunken in another life.
Dinner, then finally he’d call home.
He didn’t doubt they already knew what was happening, was probably wondering why he hadn’t called, but none of them had even been swept up in the chaos of lockdown preparations.
He stared blankly in front of the fridge, the cold, bluish light illuminating him in the dark room. The sun had fully set by now, and the last vestiges of twilight had given way to the true, deep night with the onset of rainfall.
His carefully defrosting steak wasn’t on the shelf, and he looked around him in confusion, wondering if he’d accidentally left the meat out on the bench. He was hungry enough that he didn’t think he’d care and his stomach was well practiced at digesting the indigestible, bug and all.
On the kitchen counter was a neat pile: a plate, used utensils and cooking equipment all stacked together, waiting to be washed.
Scott blinked.
“Oh, hey, Scott,” called Gordon’s cheerful voice from behind him.
Scott whirled around, gaping at his younger brother, suddenly in their New Zealand apartment and not where he ought to have been – namely a thousand odd kilometres north east of the kitchen they were standing in.
“Are you kidding me?”
“What?”
“You,” Scott shouted, jabbing a finger towards Gordon. “You ate my dinner!”
“Oh, crap.”
Gordon bolted a split second before Scott charged at him, yelling wildly with all his might.
“Scott, I’m sorry, it was – shit, I mean – come on, it was past nine, I thought you’d been out, and I, oh damn, I, Scott, damn it, I’m not dressed.”
“I don’t care, you ate my food, have you seen the grocery stores? It’s absolute chaos, you traitor, you can go out and get me something, put some pants on and move.”
Gordon yelped as he dove over the couch.
“Okay, I can see there’s been some errors in judgement here,” said Gordon, panting. “I’m sorry, Scott, I really am.”
Scott glared.
“Not good enough.” He paused, eyeing Gordon as he cowered behind the sofa. “What are you even doing here?”
“Uh, excuse me?”
“Here. What are you doing in Auckland?”
“Happy birthday to me too, love you bro, congrats on surviving another year.”
“You came to Auckland for your birthday?”
“Yeah.” Gordon sat up cautiously. “Couldn’t exactly see Penny, and it’s not like there’s many other places that will let us in.”
“I thought we counted as a US territory.”
“John cleared it with someone, I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Didn’t want to be stuck at home for my birthday. And look how that turned out.”
He did look extraordinarily sorry for himself.
Scott sighed, and reached out a hand.
“Go get some damn pants on,” he grumbled. “And go look for Virgil’s emergency snacks, I know he stores them everywhere.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“I mean it, don’t you dare come back unless you bring me food.”
Gordon snorted.
“Sure, wouldn’t want to provoke the wrath of a starving Scooter.”
Scott jerked his body towards Gordon, and smirked as he bolted up the stairs towards the bedrooms, before sinking down into the cushions and closing his eyes.
The comm beeped gently, a stark contrast from the blaring alert from earlier.
“Hey,” he said, opening an eye as Virgil was projected in front of him.
“Tell me you’re not–”
“Oh, I am.”
“Gordon too?”
“Yep.”
“Damn.”
“Tell me about it.”
They were both quiet for few seconds, thinking about how rapidly the world had seemed to shift around them.
“I suppose it’s only for a few days,” began Virgil, but Scott was already shaking his head.
“We gotta do the full two weeks. After that, we ought to be able to clear an exit with the harbourmaster and the coast guard, even if it’s not over, but we can’t come back earlier. The only reason we could move freely before without our helmets is because–”
“Preaching to the choir, Scott. I get it.”
“You gonna be alright without us?”
Virgil shrugged. “Rescues are down what with more people staying at home. Alan and I can handle the small change, and Kayo’s been itching for some POD practice recently. We’ll manage. Besides, you’re the one stuck with Gordon.”
“Hey!”
“Food,” growled Scott and Gordon threw a muesli bar and a tube of M&Ms at him.
“Is that mine?”
“Gordon ate my dinner and the shops were out of everything,” grumbled Scott. “Blame him.”
“It’s my birthday, I don’t deserve this.”
“Cry me a river.”
“Alright, don’t kill each other before the two weeks is up. John’s already organised a betting pool, don’t give him the satisfaction of winning again, he’ll be insufferable.”
“Oh, he’s on,” said Gordon, grinning. “Tell him I put fifty bucks on Scott tipping me out of bed or off the couch by the end of the week.”
“Got it.”
“You can’t bet against us,” said Scott, mumbling around the chocolate. “I thought you were on my side.”
“You tried to murder me over a steak.”
“The jury would have never convicted.”
“Okay, I can see you two are going to have a fun time,” said Virgil, loudly over their bickering. “See you in two weeks.”
He didn’t wait for a response. After all, two weeks was a smidge outside even his patience.
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