#speaking as a person who is barely cis

[hidefdoritos]

they say I'm not feminine enough because I do masculine things, but I never feel more feminine than when I do masculine things femininely. is this anything

[kryspiekream]

I did it holy shit I did it

Someone called me sir in public

And for the first time ever, I found the willpower to not even turn and acknowledge them

The most I did was stutter step, but that was barely noticable

When the person kept talking, I ignored them until it was "obvious" they were trying to get my attention

The shock-horror on her face when I asked in a high, light voice, "sorry, are you speaking to me?"

And she fully believed she had misgendered a cis woman.

Trans girls, you don't owe anyone passing. But for those of you who do wish to pass? It's possible, and damn does it feel good when you succeed.

I never thought I'd be here myself. But never give up, and definitely don't let OTHERS tell you what you can and can't do.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for reporting my coworker friend to hr for harassing our other coworker friend?

(🥩🦎 to find later)

I (23nb) work at a food service place and always close with the same two people one day of the week, we'll call these people N (20m) and Red (19nb). We all met at work and being closest in age with each other compared to most of the other people there plus having similar-ish interests, we started hanging out with each other outside of work

Red is the kind of person who overshares with people right after meeting them, and N is the kind of person who rarely takes anything seriously and thinks its funny to pretend to be a jerk and bigot (hes the only cis white neurotypical guy at work while red and i are both trans and autistic and I'm black), so Red has shared a lot of their trauma and past with the both of us and N typically uses it to jokingly bully them

Now most of the time Red and I are okay with N's jokes, and we make it clear where our boundaries are and N usually respects this with the exception of a few times we've had to make it very clear where our boundaries are after he's crossed them. But lately N keeps poking at one particular thing of Red's that is especially triggering for them, and this has happened two weeks in a row now. I don't know what this thing is specifically because both times I've been just out of earshot when the topic has been brought up, Ive just been told by Red that it has to do with the worst thing that's ever happened to them.

Both times this has happened Red has, understandably, gotten really upset and angry at N, and N only apologized for it the first time it happened. This week when it happened apparently he only started to make a joke about it but then stopped before he finished it because he thought better of it, but it was still enough for Red to figure out what N was gonna say and be upset about it.

I've tried to explain to N why even if he didn't completely say the joke he was going to make it still hurt Red, but he just sort of threw a tantrum about not understanding why he was getting in trouble for something he didn't say and concluded that it would be better to say it outright if he's going to get in trouble just for thinking it anyways.

I've also tried to convince Red to either just stop joking around with N while at work or report him to our manager or hr themself, but they're standing firm on that it shouldn't even be an issue to begin with and that it wouldn't be if N could learn to think before he speaks.

I'm also convinced that Red would feel bad if they reported N because he's been reported by other coworkers in the past year and everyone we work with including our manager often pokes fun at him to varying degrees of intensity and they might feel bad if he lost his job because they reported him. (Red has a second job somewhere else while this is N's full time job)

My concern is that N is actively making Red feel unsafe and uncomfortable, and I also feel uncomfortable both in knowing that N would carelessly cross our boundaries for the bit and also because of the tense and awkward atmosphere in the workplace that has followed immediately after both times he's done it. I don't want to have to deal with that and I'm pretty sure Red doesn't want to either.

I told N right when I learned that he'd joked about Red's trauma again that he was on strike 2, and i plan on telling N and Red both that i plan to take action if it happens next time i work with both of them.

WIBTA for following through and reporting N? Am I overstepping into a situation I'm barely involved in?

What are these acronyms?

[beautifulblooms]

Could I ask for Miguel taking care of a gn reader who’s overwhelmed from a migraine? Like super sensitive to just about any noise even their own voice at a whisper, can barely open their eyes or it makes everything worse, practically nauseated at any movement type of migraine. If not that’s totally fine I understand ♥️

Callate... - Miguel O'Hara x GN! Reader headcanons + drabble

I tried my best to write for this, I don't personally have experience with migraines but I know how it is to help people who experience them, I hope I did you justice anon!

CIS Women and Female Aligned people, please DNI, this story and all of my others are for non-binary, masculine aligned and male readers!

Super understanding and honestly loves taking care of you

I feel like if he could get away with it (convince himself to give into his desires), he’d take the day off to make sure you’re okay

If they’re more common he would definitely find ways to have you stay with him at the spider society in his little office/platform room just to keep his eye on you

Keeps the room dark for you, has small snacks and water on standby, and doesn’t speak loudly if at all

He would deadass become a bedside nurse for you

Cup of tea? He’s already boiling the kettle

Need your meds? Bottle in hand with a cup of water

More blankets or pillows? Say less

His first time experiencing one of your migraines probably didn’t go so well, but he’s definitely gotten better with practice

Waking up one morning (y/n) didn’t even try to get up, too overwhelmed by the feeling of their head pounding from the migraine. Staying as still as possible, they could hear Miguel start to wake up as well, the ringing from his alarm only making the migraine worse. Slowly moving a hand to their ear, (y/n) covered both as their eyes were screwed shut, sighing slightly as Miguel turned his alarm off. 

“Good morning mi amor,” Miguel turned over to start cuddling (y/n) but was quickly swatted away when he tried to turn them over to face him. As they slowly turned over to face him, their eyes were still shut and their voice barely registered as a whisper.

“Callate…I have a migraine,” Miguel was very confused but quickly nodded in understanding, even if (y/n) couldn’t see him do so. Slowly getting out of bed, he quickly went to the bathroom to grab some Excedrin and to the kitchen to get a bottle of water, only returning to the bedroom once he had both in hand. When he spoke this time, his voice was much quieter, matching (y/n)’s from earlier.

“Take it slow, I’ll be here to help you” He set down the bottle of pills and the water on the nightstand before sitting down beside (y/n) on the bed, gently rubbing a hand over their arm, a smile on his face at the thought of helping his partner.

[walrus150915]

The most random out-of-order Nimona headcanons I've scrambled out of my mind and put in my notes as coherent as I could bc there's a LOTTTT

• I don't think Nimona uses specific names to label her sexuality/gender. Was she in love with Gloreth? Maybe she was. Maybe she was not. Does she like boys? Who knows, she sure doesn't. What's her gender? Nimona. That's it

• I think Ballister did try to be the cis ally™ and figure out the label Nimona would use but she'd just shrug her shoulders and say "I don't know, boss, it seems like you care about it more than I do"

• And even though she's NOT a girl, she uses she/her pronouns because 💥YOUR PRONOUNS DON'T DEFINE YOUR GENDER💥 you may use she/her and not be a girl, he/him and not be a boy, I even saw cis people use they/them simply bc they're comfortable. And that's okay!

• Although she's comfortable with people calling her he/they/neopronouns you name it. Just. Not it/its. You know the reasons😬

• Nimona is left-handed and it's CANON actually I am SO HAPPY as a left-handed person she's just like me fr💥💥

• Nimona isn't a big fan of domestic bliss Ambrosius and Ballister spend most of their time in (plus they're very sappy and very much disgustingly in love, Nimona's stoic organism can't handle their mushiness for the dear life), she's like an independent cat I think: comes to hang out, eats, spends time with her father-not-really figures and goes away for weeks only to come back again. She travels the world my dudes✨

• I think she has a bunch of photos from the places she'd been to and talks about her adventures a lot!

• Nimona also is the best cook of the fam I'm afraid. Ballister cooks, like, the bare minimum to serve himself as a functioning adult (rice, salad, pasta, some meat like you know the deal) but nothing too complicated. Ambrosius is a nepo baby who's probably lived in palaces and mansions with dozens of servants do you really think he's good at cooking😭 as he distanced himself from the Institute and moved in with Bal I think he learnt to cook, still not great at it.

• Nimona though? SHE CAN DO *ANYTHING* like she's madly good at cooking. It might look like she's burning the kitchen down only to reveal that she was putting Gordon Ramsay to shame!

Speaking of BallBros

• Ballister's experience is close to a second gen immigrant. Ambrosius's experience is close to a third gen immigrant. They can't be immigrants bc of the context of the story?? I DON'T CARE☺

• Ambrosius doesn't speak his mother tongue except for like a few words or phrases he's heard at home. His older relatives probably make fun of him for it on family gatherings. His parents didn't teach him because they didn't want him to stick out (totally not self projecting here - yeah I'm a third gen immigrant hiii)

• Ballister tho? I think Urdu was his first language but he learned English along the way

• And it kinda mixes in his head so he forgets the words from both languages sometimes and replaces them with the word from the other one (HA my experience again)

• When he's experiencing hard emotions, be it anger, happiness, sadness, or is overwhelmed, he drops English entirely and just starts bantering in Urdu

• Ambrosius didn't know Ballister was bilingual but when he learnt it? He was amazed and I think... Kinda jealous because he didn't get to learn Korean himself (self projection yeahhhhhh)

• "You know your mother tongue? Damn! I wish I did too!"

• That said, Ballister has no idea how to shorten Ambrosius's name (WHAT THE HECK IS THIS NAME BRO WHAT ARE YOU, GOD'S FOOD???), so he sticks to Urdu endearments, "luv" (in the most British accent possible) and "darling"

People who say French/Spanish are the romantic languages are wrong LISTEN TO URDU OR INDIAN LANGUAGES OR ARABIC. THAT'S WHERE LOVE IS DUDE

• Ambrosius has learnt like a few words in Urdu and tries to rizz up Ballister by saying some basic words like "jaan", "mohabbat" and just😭😭😭 fails😭😭😭 because he's a cringefail man😭😭😭

I remember trying to ask out my (NOW EX😔) gf who's Italian by writing "will you be my girlfriend?" in Italian and I used GOOGLE TRANSLATION🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ SHE UNDERSTOOD THAT I USED GOOGLE AND POINTED IT OUT AS A JOKE BUT I CRINGED AT MYSELF SO HARD..... Ambrosius would totally do that too and Ballister would chuckle and pull him in a kiss bc he loves this cringefail man so much

• Ambrosius also serenades like I KNOW DAMN WELL HE DOES. He goes "this one's for you, Bal" with a wink and sings like the sappiest most disgusting love ballad ever and Ballister tries his best not to laugh because that's his beloved boyfriend but also like.... So cringe. So embarrassing😭😭 Nimona has more balls than her boss so she would outright say that it's cringe

• Also. I don't agree with people saying Ambrosius's a jock because have you seen this man?? He's a theatre kid. The worst kind of theatre kid. Even after not being a kid anymore he's still a theatre kid. BRO IS A HAMILTON FAN UNIRONICALLY, OF COURSE HE IS. He makes weirdass references to musicals and giggles like an idiot

• Can we agree that Ambrosius was an awakening for many teenagers because OOOOH BOY he sure would be mine. Some pop news youtube channel probably has a video of him reading the kingdom's equivalent of "thirst tweets", like yknow this type of vids😭😭

While we're on the topic of thirst tweets

• Diego the squire runs a fan page account with edits of Ballister like he's some pop celebrity

• He also may or may not write self-indulgent "Ballister x reader" fanfiction in his off duty time

• Also hc that when Ballister was on the run he saw some "WANTED" poster of him and hang up on the wall like yeah boy's crush is EMBARRASSING (can we blame him? I'm the same with Riz Ahmed)

• Todd would be on the "straight" side of their equivalent to TikTok. You know the ones with shirtless men with the same haircuts who think they're hot when in reality they're not?? That's what Todd and his friends are up to in their free time *throws up*

To wrap it all up NOT with Todd, some super random ones:

• Ballister and Ambrosius force Nimona to take her shoes off ("DO NOT bring your European nonsense in this ethnic household") in their house even though she doesn't even have boots on😭😭 it's just her skin😭😭😭 so she morphs her form to simply be shoeless😭😭😭😭

• Ambrosius knows how to tap dance. Idk don't question it I just think he does

• Nimona plays piano YEAH SHE DOES she's lived for 1000+ years man she can do anything

• Ballister's hair routine is "genetics, coconut oil n some prayers"

Yeah that's it I'll probably make a part 2 because it's not all... These characters have occupied my mind and won't let it go🧍‍♂️

[mothmanssweetsucculentass]

Bloody Painter Headcanons

Did y’all miss these? Idc if this seems like a weird direction to go from my past two HC lists, I’ve always loved Helen as a character and I just went and read up on all the compiled lore DeluCat made of him years ago, and I got some HCs fresh in my mind!

I used THIS YouTube video from DeluCat herself as my main source, assume anything I don’t list/discuss here is filled in by anything here. I’m actually really impressed that she did so much research on different serial killers, psych ward operations, and violent crimes to make Helen as realistic as possible.

Expect canon typical horror/mature topics being discussed from this point forward, nothing is censored beyond this point!!!!

Roughly about 25, give or take a few years

STRICTLY he/him, will react violently if anyone calls him different pronouns, especially feminine ones

Despite this, he’s definitely not cis (it’s actually canon that he’s agender! Friendly reminder that pronouns =/= gender)

Like bro you were literally raised to have a gender crisis. Everyone point and laugh at the egg

Jeff used she/her for him once as a joke and he still has deep scars from what Helen decided to do to him

Like I shit you not, Helen took a sizable chunk of skin out of Jeff’s back, and only stopped because Eyeless Jack physically had to hold him back until Jeff left his line of sight

You wouldn’t even expect such violent outbursts from this guy considering how normally calm he is

Barely talks at all tbh

Like, he’ll interact politely with most of the residents of the mansion and isn’t turned off by conversation, but don’t expect him to hold a full conversation if he deems you boring or unimportant

Which tbh he probably will, he’s not super big on friendships considering how his last one went

Mostly prefers to keep to himself and is often in the more run down/abandoned wings of the manor

Has a naturally more feminine looking face (long eyelashes, smaller nose, etc) and does nothing to try and fix/hide it

Has converted one of the dilapidated rooms into an “art” studio

And by art. Heh. Let’s just say. Corpses

No actually he really just has an entire room dedicated to some of the most fucked up art a person is capable of making

Sculptures made out of bones and flesh, jars filled with coagulated blood submerging his taxidermy projects, eyeball jewelry, teeth jewelry, paint made from pummeled organs and flesh, brandings and etchings on stretched human skin, plushies made of human hair, he’s got it all

He also makes more “normal” art, which in reality is just more traditional mediums that still depict his usual obsessions with violence

Has gotten used to the scent of rot and decay like pretty much every resident has, but is one of the few who enjoys it

Is very selfish, self centered, and has an ego larger than Texas

Him and Ben have a somewhat transactional relationship; Helen films all the depraved torture and crafting he enacts and shares it with Ben, and Ben prints out news articles of Helen’s crimes for Helen to make art with, or just look at to admire his handiwork

ZERO empathy. His morals heavily align with the BEN AI, and even somewhat Slenderman’s

Hates animals. Not cause he’s scared of them or anything, but because he finds their existence useless

…unless he’s using it for fucked up taxidermy

LOVES torture the same way Eyelss Jack loves vivisections

One of his favorite things to do is rip a person’s fingernails out one by one, and then severing the hand and using the bleeding nail beds as the world’s most fucked up large paintbrush

Besides art, he loves to read. Kind of a given considering he’s basically the quiet kid

Loves depraved horror novels and serial killer memoirs/autobiographies

Can speak fluent Chinese, and often shit talks other pastas to their faces without them even knowing

Kagekao learned Chinese just so the two could gossip

Similar to EJ, has a more “buff” physique and has been seen breaking bones effortlessly. When you’ve been murdering steadily for over a decade at this point you kinda just learn where the weak/break points are in the human body

Can improvise anything into a weapon

Actually he really loves killing people with unconventional murder weapons. Scenes are often found with things like metal straws lodged in a victim’s sternum, or the top of a bowling pin shoved down a victim’s throat so far their jaw broke and the victim subsequently choked on their own blood from their shattered teeth

He’s gotten so good at this that the other pastas will literally make a game out of it and challenge him to use an outlandish item as a weapon the next time he kills

“Okay okay how about a bong” “are you being serious right now” “just answer the question art boy” “twice, actually. Though technically I think one of them was a really weird ceramic frog instead. That, or a pcp pipe.” “Awesome”

Hates removing his mask around anyone he’s not acquainted with

Gets reeeaaalll fuckin quiet too

Has gotten so good at being stealthy he doesn’t even alert or startle people like Eyeless Jack does

Surprisingly enough he actually gets enough sleep compared to most of the other residents of the manor

He’s also able to get comfortable and sleep practically anywhere, in the weirdest positions too. Is often found passed out in his studio sitting up, or laying on the floor covered in metal torture tools and bones

Despite his lack of empathy, his blood boils and he seethes if anyone dares to mess with Sally

The first day he stumbled across the manor and introduced himself by what the media called him, Sally gave him a drawing of himself, and he vowed on the spot to look out for the little snot

Is already a naturally patient person, and is incredibly patient and gentle when explaining how to do specific art things to Sally

Jokingly “agrees” with Sally about not liking doctors whenever she’s around eyeless Jack (though in his case he hates psych doctors vastly more than physical ailment doctors)

Back to the patience thing: will stalk a victim for months to toy with them. He has an eternity to do this to people with his newfound abilities granted to him by slenderman, why rush?

Helen 🤝 BEN/Ben = malewhore mansplain manipulate

Will say anything to get what he wants

Thinks in a very transactional and technical way. If you don’t do or offer something to benefit him first, he doesn’t even see you as a person

Is friends/close with: Sally, Eyeless Jack, BEN/Ben, Jason, Ann, and KageKao

Has a tolerable relationship with/is very neutral about: Masky, Hoody, Jane, Liu, Puppeteer, LJ, and Slenderman

Doesn’t get along with/HATES: clockwork, Nina, and Jeff

Him and Jason often collaborate together on pieces involving still living people

Him and Ann have a mutual distaste for doctors/hospital settings, and can often be found stitching up their wounds (or sometimes in Helen’s case a piece involving human flesh) together

Ace, heavily questioning if he’s aro too

He finds Ann aesthetically pleasing to look at, but his thoughts don’t go any further than that. Often uses her as figure practice (with her consent)

Is mainly fascinated by the fact she’s a walking sentient corpse

Tried cannibalism once, wasn’t a fan

Tried going to both Eyeless Jack and Ann once during a dysphoria-spurred panic attack and begged for bottom surgery

“But why tho” “I’m ace. I don’t need it. Don’t women who never want to get pregnant get rid of their uteruses anyways?” “Well, yes, but-“ “so help me god get this thing off my body”

Obviously one of the few times he actually doesn’t appear calm and put together to people. Tries his damn hardest to hide these panic attacks unless around Eyeless Jack or Ann. Would be mortified if Ben, Sally, or any of the loud judgmental pastas saw him in this state

Gives a lot of his full corpse art pieces a physical sex swap

You’re dead but hey free top surgery and you get to be fucked up art

Honestly doesn’t give a shit about symbolism, makes art of whatever he wants/feels like and makes it pretty clear there’s no hidden meaning

[jasontoddssuper]

Okay so speaking as a long time fanfic author and aspiring books author,Percy works best as a trans girl from a writing standpoint and not just because she'd be extremely good rep.Percy being a cis guy who's stereotypically masculine is forced characterization because she has no reason to want to be one-She had no positive male role models growing up.There were definitely male teachers who were mean-spirited to her as much as female ones,Poseidon abandoned her and even after they met he prioritized her or at least treated her like a father who genuinely loves his daughter out of just her being his child instead obligation a grand total of zero times,Smelly Gabe is self-explanatory and Luke abused her too right from the start by gaslighting her.All she had was Sally so it's realistic that Percy would think women are better than men and not give a shit about being manly and preferring femininity

It's semi-canon that Percy has a trauma based dislike of men if we're looking at subtext-In the og series,she speaks much more positively of the girls around than she does the boys and she actually trash talks the latter while using being hypermasculinity as an insult,such as implying Ares is ugly multiple times.And one of the three male friends she has vs being friends with almost every girl in her age range?Nico,Pjo's first canon mlm.This just absolutely screams 'baby gays spotting eachother without either knowing they're not cishet yet' and it's only added on to by how devoted they are to eachother despite the problems in their relathionship.Plus,just sayin',but the explicit reason Nico got over his crush on Percy is that she wasn't a traditional male hero like he thought she was

On similar note,Rachel is a lot like many irl lesbians and her and Percy remain besties after their break up and the first point applies to Reyna too,who liked Percy and likewise after taking away the posibility of romance to their dynamic,they remained great friends and it's a common tgirl experience to still be close to all your ex girlfriends in a platonic way post-egg cracking.Percy reminds me so much of so many of my trans woman friends in tons of ways and i've seen others say the same and back to my first point,the logical conclusion to Percy hating having to be a man who's super masculine is to make her a woman who's super feminine so she can be happy so this all comes full circle

And onto specifics for the Pjo storylines and developments,Percy gains even more depth if she's a trans woman.A self admitted former 'troubled kid' who just wants to be normal but is always getting shoved into a role she dosen't want by people who think they know better than her despite barely knowing her,Luke's fixation on targeting younger girls can be told as a feminist tale by having her the hero of the prophecy instead of him and also be the one to kill him to avenge her female friends and you cannot tell me that the idea of the protagonist of one of the best children's books series out there being a trans girl who's got bad social skills,anger issues and merciless tendencies but never gets demonized for them,is the funniest person in the whole franchise,hyperfemme too and the fucking daughter of Poseidon isn't based as all fuck

She would also help Annabeth's character development by teaching her to not be a pick me anymore and Annabeth would thank her by teaching her to be more self-confident,Nico and her would've become found siblings and Nico and eventually Hazel could've even been adopted by Sally because of it,her transfemininity would've changed the angles of her dynamics with the gods to make them make more interesting,we could dive into how Pjoverse greco-roman mythos play into transgenderism and other types of queerness,Percy's already canon present Team Mom habits and hinted love for cute and 'kiddy' things would be used to their full potential like they deserve,it opens to door to an even more interesting potential romantic dynamic with Jason and there's definitely way more

I'm not sure how to end this so i will make a /hj:Percy Jackson is a female protagonist of all time

[buff-daddy-cole]

ninjago headcanons i found in a google doc i wrote a month ago

Zane 🥶

Zane records soundbites (like laugh tracks and applause) and plays them whenever he feels like there needs to be dramatic tension

Zane has backup memories and a mind palace (kinda like Conner from D:BH)

Whenever he zones out he goes there, he can see PIXAL and can save his memories (Conner D:BH 🥰)

Cole 🪨

Cole likes to arm wrestle people, he always fake loses

Cole is naturally very strong but also bro is so bulked that even without his super strength he can still lift a car with one hand (bro is so damn cool)

Cole is a ghost

Cole yearns for touch, but cant get it (he's a ghost)

Cole can talk to crows (calls them ‘crowbros’)

Cole calls Jay blueballs

Jay ⚡

Jay slits his eyebrows

Jay doesn't swear (“it's a sign of weak verbal skills”)

Jay is a drag queen and crossdresses

Jay is Intersex, and identifies as Cis Masc

Jay is afraid of the dark

RGB 🔥🌊 🥬

Kai and Jay sing in the shower together (as broskis do)

Kai named himself after the cobra kai dojo from Karate Kid

Kai the type of person to ask for his nipples to be removed during his top surgery

Nya is great at darts and Kai always gets hurt when trying to play

Kai used to read bedtime stories to Lloyd when he first arrived at Destiny’s Bounty

He still does when Lloyd needs help sleeping

Kai and Lloyd also cuddle a lot, as Lloyd's main love language is touch

Nya views Lloyd as a little brother and Lloyd views her as a cool older sister (despite being physically older than her)

Nya and Lloyd view Kai as their Dad//Older Brother

Kai hates when people leave (even if they're just going to the store, it causes him anxiety)- He's worried they won't come back

Kai and Nya were left alone for 3 days before Kai left to get food for them

Kai knows how to speak/understand backward talk on command

Kai has multiple stick-n-poke tattoos (most look like shit ((he did them himself))

Kai gets into a lot of bar fights

Kai is a sleep talker

Nya is a sleepwalker

Lloyd is normal

Nya can lift a truck with her bare hands

Nya deals drugs (“I know a guy who knows a girl, and she knows this girl knows a guy, well this guy knows a real estate agent and she can help you find a place! if you catch my drift.”)

Lloyd is Cody’s Theme (by AJJ)

The main four have talked about sacrificing themselves for Lloyd in front of It multiple times

Lloyd is very worried about them

The two guys at 10.50-10.54 S3 EP1 are dating

When the Overlord controls Borg, Borg is dead (dead on the ground no pulse)

Brad does “ 👉👈 ”

[darker-than-darkness]

Little rant about getting an autism/adhd diagnosis as a person under the trans* umbrella.

Right of the bat: I am (as of now) only self-diagnosed, with strong suspicions of autism or possibly audhd. My psychiatrist agrees, but can not give me that diagnosis without consulting a therapist. Nonetheless, I will refer to people of the above mentioned minority (unfortunately) as a collective “we” for easier accessibility.

I also identify as nonbinary and transmasculine, using they/he pronouns and I have had my coming out as trans* in 2015, albeit mistaking my identity as genderfluid in the beginning. Since 2020 I have been labeling myself correctly, had my social and public coming out and was even able to get my name recognized by my university.

I am certain of my identity, hence why I feel like I can speak for the trans* community. As mentioned above, I’ve completed my social transition, whereas I am still awaiting a proper referral for surgeries and a legal change.

I also want to apologize in advance for my language potentially being a bit too scholarly for a site such as tumblr. I am a university student of English and American studies and this comes naturally with the occupation. I also feel it helps me get point across more distinctively and precisely. I will however try to give examples to illustrate my thoughts.

That being said, here’s my main thesis:

I feel like we do not get enough recognition and struggle more to get diagnosed in the first place. Let me elaborate.

A lack of therapists worldwide makes it nearly impossible to get diagnosed with anything these days, but self-diagnosis after extensive research gets devaluated and ridiculed.

Whilst autism in cis women has started finally getting the recognition it deserved (don’t get me wrong, this is amazing) and cis men have been able to get a diagnosis often at an early age, we are a blind spot in the field of psychology.

It is impossible to get a therapist specializing in both gender and neurodiversity, even though they are closely linked. You have to weigh out which of the topics you want to tackle first, whilst both need to be regarded together, not separately. Therapy for both has the purpose of saving a life, but is impossible to achieve.

For the past three years I have been trying to get a therapist. I live in a big city in Germany, and whilst therapy is covered by public health insurance, many are unable to find any therapist, let alone a suited one. The one or two (out of the hundreds that exists) have long waitlists of a year and above and whilst you can pay for therapy sessions, many students like myself, who live on the bare minimum, can not afford paying 300+ Euros a month that weekly sessions would cost.

I also feel like many of us get disregarded for our special interests, hyperfixations and other symptoms. They can vary so much from those of cis women and/or cis men. We many times show symptoms of both cis men and cis women, many times show neither or ones exclusive to trans* individuals.

Of course these symptoms always vary greatly from individual to individual, yet especially in those who are afab or amab they get overshadowed or falsely attributed by/to the many mental illnesses/symptoms we have because of not identifying with the gender we were wrongly assigned at birth. I will come back to those mental issues in a bit.

I, for example, share a special interest for makeup and fashion, stereotypically seen as more feminine interests, and a special interest for motorcycles, cars, wrestling and many other stereotypically male interests. These are obsessive and hinder me in everyday life.

Not only are stereotypes harmful wherever they may apply, them being seen as such, they get disregarded as special interests/hyperfixations that come with neurodivergence. The symptoms are ignored and wrongly attributed (those aligning with the gender you were assigned at birth) or not attributed at all (those that not aligning with the gender you were assigned at birth) to a potential autism/adhd diagnosis.

However, some special interests/hyperfixations I’ve observed in many trans* people are those relating to the struggle unique to trans* individuals. They can include trans* or lgbtq+ rights, politics in general, the science behind being trans*, activism, hate crimes, police violence, gender reassigning surgeries and many others.

I suppose we, as those these issues relate to in many ways, naturally have a closer connection/desire to indulge in these topics in detail. However, this, once again, gets disregarded and not attributed to the neurodiversity but rather the issues with gender.

Coming back to a point briefly mentioned above, many of us have been wrongly diagnosed many times within our lives. Many of the symptoms naturally coming with everyday life as a trans* person have been signed off as standalone diagnoses. These include depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia, anger issues, escapism, low self-esteem and self-worth and even suicidal/homicidal thoughts.

The collection of wrong diagnoses throughout ones life, if one is lucky enough to have a therapist in the first place, comes naturally with both being trans* and having autism/adhd. This not only stems from the lack of knowledge in the healthcare system, but also the struggles we experience.

I, for example, have had both a diagnosis for social anxiety and depression through my teen years. Looking back, unsurprisingly so. I was bullied to oblivion for being outed (as both trans* and bisexual) whilst growing up in a small, Christian town. I say being outed, for both times I have been outed by those I wrongly assumed to be my friends/allies.

Transphobia and homophobia were part of my everyday life. Most human interactions I had were horrible, causing me to struggle with low self-esteem. Being ridiculed daily plus getting my trust broken so often, together with an immense burden of being overwhelmed by the noises of a school classroom caused me to go mute for most of 8th and 9th grade. I’m assuming I do not have to explain the concept of selective mutism to those reading, but this is what eventually caused my social anxiety diagnosis.

Of course, someone being bullied constantly plus struggling with severe personal trauma (I do not want to elaborate this, for it is beyond the point) will feel sad, have meltdowns (I would throw things around my room, clear my desk with my arm, punch walls and have yelling fits) and cry constantly. I was ostracized for being “the weird kid” with “weird hobbies and interests” and the loneliness made me extremely sad. Naturally, a depression diagnosis came my way.

Now, I am not saying people can not have multiple diagnoses. I, myself, do and many others do as well. Not only do many people have both autism and adhd, many people also have further mental illnesses that make their life hard.

I, for example, have been diagnosed with bipolar in my early adult years (around age 18/19). It is genetic in my case, but ever since taking medication for it, I have been doing much better. That, however, has not calmed the symptoms I personally attribute (potentially) to “my” autism/adhd. They are also not side effects of my medication, that has been ruled out.

Talking about the health system brings me to another huge flaw both people with neurodiversity and trans* individuals struggle with. Organizations and officials meant to help letting us down, failing us and making us the problem.

It starts with the health system. Simple things like autism in adults (no matter their gender identity, but especially for cis women and trans* people) not being diagnosed properly, being trans* still being (mainly legally) considered a mental disorder in many countries and vital health treatments being denied are quite literally killing us.

The suicide rates in trans* and neurodiverse people are at an all time high, the US is infuriatingly going back in history with their law-making and removing safe spaces whilst simultaneously endangering trans* individuals. That possibility of being hatecrimed both for not being cis as well as being neurodivergent has risen drastically. It shocks, angers and saddens me.

As an individual living in Germany, we might have public health insurance but not enough therapists, as previously elaborated. This and trans* people still having to go through multiple discriminatory processes to even get their gender recognized are just a few examples.

Of course we are often also failed by politicians, law makers, courts, police and any other institution that is there to defend and uphold democracy. If we even are lucky enough to live in a democratic state and not a monarchy with a power hungry heir or a state claiming to be democratic whilst their leader is clearly a dictator. (Looking especially at Russia, here.)

In Germany, for example, the government had promised to simplify the process of legally changing your name and gender by April of 2024. So far it has not made any progress whatsoever and with openly right-wing parties on the rise in most states the chances of it actually happening are minimal.

There is also a huge issue with police and not understanding who they’re protecting versus pursuing. Autistic people are often seen as aggressive in their meltdowns, causing them to be detained even when not the culprit whatsoever. Trans* people often have to let people from their opposite gender perform invasive and humiliating searches on them, something a cis person legally can contest. But we are not as lucky.

Some of the worst institutions when it comes to accommodation are schools. Trans* and neurodivergent students often get picked on by their teachers (for example through misgendering or being called upon even in their mute/overwhelmed stages). Trans* and/or neurodivergent students often get reprimanded for causing trouble, even when not the perpetrators. Neither the teachers nor headmasters seem to really care.

I have a more distinct anecdote for this one. I distinctly remember getting suspended from school for two days and having to come to the headmasters office with both of my parents in 9th grade. When I was in my teen years I had an admittedly unhealthy hyperfixation (I call it this for it was obsessive and involuntary, beyond my control and took my focus of school and any other responsibilities.) on school shooters, particularly Columbine. This was in 2015, so before liking True Crime became normalized.

Of course, as any teen I scribbled on my desk in school. Unfortunately scribbling the nicknames of the Columbine shooters was not the smartest idea. I didn’t understand that at the time, however. My sociology teacher saw after some students had told on me. I was sick that day and had no way of defending myself immediately. So instead my parents were called. I was in big trouble.

Not speaking with my classmates (due to my selective mutism) didn’t help. Neither did the fact that, due to my gender disphoria, most of my clothes were black oversized shirts, combat boots and cargo pants. I had short hair (that I had dyed black at the time.) and wore stark emo makeup. I not only fit the weird quiet kid in the back of the class stereotype perfectly but also dressed like the shooters I had been focusing on.

It was the second headmaster that called my mother. I have to give him a bit of a compliment here. His first question was not what I had done or what I was thinking. It was wether or not I was okay. (Which obviously, I wasn’t.) Unfortunately, reality looked very different when in the headmasters office.

The headmistress had returned from her vacation and absolutely tore me to pieces. She was convinced I was planning a school shooting myself. From telling me she should have just called the police, to telling me my behavior was unacceptable and inappropriate, telling me I vandalized school property (it was in pencil, I didn’t), to telling me everyone was afraid of me and all the school knew, she threw every accusation my way. It was not only intimidating, but I’ll always remember how much I had to mask in that moment.

Unfortunately the second headmaster didn’t help, telling me I should maybe look for happier interests, like flowers and bees. (Literally his words.) They didn’t understand, neither of them, that it was involuntary. I had no control over it. But neither did I. Back then, I didn’t know hyperfixations existed. I remember how guilty yet confused I felt, not understanding why everyone was so worked up about a simple scribble.

In retrospect I know the reason for the outrage. But never will I understand why on earth one would react so cruelly. The rest of my time there was hell. Half the school knew me as the person who planned a school shooting, stupidly believing I actually would. They didn’t know me, of course. Jumped to conclusions because I was different and didn’t fit in.

This school failed me hard time, just like the school before had. I’m still surprised I managed to finish tenth grade, with a friend in my class even. (We had bonded after I explained the situation to her.) I was lucky enough to go to a different school after a year of a mental health break, together with said friend who also had many issues with the school we went though, even though she was a neurotypical cis woman.

Moral of the story is: I am appalled how many times we get failed and disregarded.

But of course we do. For we, as trans* and neurodivergent people, have mastered masking. We had to pretend/were raised as a completely different person from who we actually are. Had to pretend to be and conform with a gender we were assigned at birth, even though we knew we never identified with. Had to pretend to be one of the neurotypical ones because we didn’t want to be even more different. We already didn’t fit in, neurodiversity was not something we needed.

Unfortunately, without a proper diagnosis, we never knew differently. Didn’t know why we always felt out of place, or why we suffered from constant imposter syndrome. How could we, when people constantly told us we were “normal” or “just a little sad” or “a bit of an outsider.” They didn’t see we needed help, even when the cries for help were as big as having morbid hyperfixations, injuring ourselves to fit the gender identity we wanted to fit (self-mutilation as well as wrong methods of for example binding).

No one helped us then.

And still, no one helps us.

Self-diagnosis is a last resort for many of us and many of us are not lucky enough to ever recognize who they truly are.

And that they’re okay the way they are.

I guess I’m writing this for the “weird kids.” The kids that were ridiculed for being different, the kids that never knew why they couldn’t seem to fit in. I see you. I used to be you. And only if we rise up, we cause an uproar, can anything ever change.

If you read this far I thank you. Feel free to leave comments, like, ask questions. My inbox is always open, also for anonymous questions.

[specialmouse]

The way ****SOME*** (🙄) trans men speak its obvious they dont want trans girls in their community because a lot of trans girls will check em when they start saying weird shit. And it ties again into race because umm.. who can’t handle any criticism at all ever about anything they’ve ever done because they think it invalidates their personal struggles… never in my life have i seen a nonwhite trans guy say anything near as vile as what ive seen white trans guys so casually say about their sisters. Cosigning what speed said so hard—you could’ve just read his post saying SOME trans men and went phew, at least I don’t think that (whether or not that’s true is another matter, but at the VERY least you could say phew, at least i don’t WANT to think that way about trans women, the bare minimum) but instead you fly into a fucking rage and accuse trans women of things i’ve never seen said once in my life by anyone except cis people…

[houseofashesif]

𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐈𝐓𝐀 ❝ 𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐊𝐈 ❞ 𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐊𝐀𝐒 𝐕𝐈𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐇

𝐂𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 ;; Erebrus, named after Greek god of primordial darkness

[ 20 || 6'2 || cis - male || androsexual lithromantic || ❤ ash & rin ]

𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐒

a big tattoo on his back spanning nearly the entirity of his upper back. one can even see the floral pattern by the side of his neck from a certain angle

𝐅𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐎𝐍

𝑪𝑨𝑺𝑼𝑨𝑳 : everyday casual clothing , which is usually either all black or has some in it , but never without it

𝑩𝑼𝑺𝑰𝑵𝑬𝑺𝑺 :

𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑴𝑨𝑳 : he just likes a lot of burgundy and maroon red

𝑶𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑪𝑶𝑨𝑻 : being the classic guy he is, Nikita likes wearing long trench coats over his suits whenever he's off to a super important meeting or something

𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐊

this but with a lot more shadows around the edges leaving over the lower half of the face barely visible

𝐕𝐄𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐋𝐄

bugatti divo

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐀

pronouns ➜ he / him

build ➜ athletic

height ➜ 6'2"

guns ➜ sköll & hati

ice cream ➜ mint chocolate chip

breakfast ➜ belgian waffles with a drizzle of maple syrup

take - out ➜ a crispy chicken burger

sweets ➜ classic chocolate cake

drinks ➜ herbal tea & espresso macchiato

◾️ his MBTI type would be ISTP-A (Assertive Virtuoso). a Virtuoso (ISTP) is someone with the Introverted, Observant, Thinking, and Prospecting personality traits. they tend to have an individualistic mindset, pursuing goals without needing much external connection. they engage in life with inquisitiveness and personal skill, varying their approach as needed. which in a nutshell basically embodies his whole "do it my way or hit the highway" mindset

◾️ Nikita usually prefers to keep his gaze away from people unless he’s speaking, keeping his eyes down to the ground whenever he’s all alone by himself for reasons to be discussed later. but in the rare times when you finally meet his gaze then you’ll finally realise how deep yet bright of an emerald green his eyes are, almost resembling an uncut emerald. they are surrounded in thick black coloured lashes which make his eye colour pop out even more. they seem almost hypnotic in a sense, mesmerising and trapping people in those deep pools of green. however they are just as scary. whenever Nikita feels a very rare yet sudden burst of bloodlust or anger his eyes turn into a muddy, dirty green. they become more sharp and calculating, losing the lazy and carefree glint in them, even soulless as some describe. people have even pointed out how his darkened eyes resemble ones similar to a dead fish’s.

◾ suffers from myopia or nearsightedness and is therefore required to wear glasses. however he vehemently refuses to wear them, and instead goes for lens instead or none at all

◾️ *seductively takes off glasses* "wow, you are so fucking blurry."

◾️ other than his hellhounds, who he likes to call by various flower names (i.e. lily, rose, iris, buttercup and etc), Nikita also likes to create shadow ravens who serve as his messengers from the sky, thus his crow inspired mask.

◾️ apart from depression, Nikita also suffers from post - traumatic stress disorder or ptsd (courtesy of his fathers death), anorexia nervosa, bodily dysmorphic disorder and mild insomnia.

◾️ one of his main hobbies is collecting. as a kleptomaniac, Nikita usually gets quite … creative with his hobby of ‘collecting’ stuff, especially the shiny ones. he doesn't really collect much, but when he does its large in quantity and amazing in quality. his favourite things to buy + collect are music boxes.

◾️ although he's not yet ready to accept Yvette back in his life, Nikita for now, has chosen to simply avoid his confusing feelings about his mother but focusing on the mission in hand (but still he's saved her contact as "Deadbeat Mom" in his phone)

◾️ in terms of love, oh boy, Nikita is super dense, so he probably wouldn't even realize he's got a crush until somebody slaps him across the face figuratively by telling him straight - up clearly by stating facts even he can't deny or some miracle of an epiphany strikes him out of nowhere – when he's still oblivious he'd probably be more docile and kinder towards the crush, probably being slightly overprotective and flirting without knowing it. when he's not-so-oblivious anymore, cue the flusteredness and avoidance because he's embarrassed! let the drama ensue!

◾️ he chose "Elysium Cleanup Crew" as the group name, mainly because he wasn't ready to start another war in the group chat about the names, plus it seemed the most logical to him then, in his still sleep muddled brain

◾️ more info shall be added once available

IF :: @vendetta-if

[neotrances]

ok i hope this doesnt come across as mean or like hostile but u commented this on my reblog of that post and i don’t think as a white person understand no one views women as lesser for being hyperfeminine and “looking like anime girls” bc many of the standards of what anime girls are align with misogyny and other bigotry out agaisnt women to deny their womanhood, hairless skinny small dainty dumb and always horny or childlike are things u see a lot with anime and specifically are stereotypes put on asian women, im saying this really nicely, it isn’t about you, you will not be oppressed for passing better and appearing more “cis” than trans women who don’t which is what the post is about, trans women who donot look like the hyperfeminine made up standards of ribless giant boob hairless barely humanoid imitation of asian women, bc that standard is impossible for basically any women to meet, u as a white person need to understand when to step back and ask ur self why u feel defensive of an ideal that hurts all women but especially harms asian women, let’s do a little thinking before speaking

[anurarana]

And this feels mean to say (not counting my body hair positive mutuals because you are all wonderful and make me feel so much more comfortable with myself), but a lot of the positivity for women to stop shaving is headlined by thin, white, cis woman who barely grow any hair beyond some armpit hair and a sprinkle on their legs.

Like yes, men will always be weird about body hair, but it's other women that have made me feel like a monster for not "cleaning up". As a femme lesbian, being fat already elevates the standards I have to jump through to be seen as like feminine and pretty, now add on thick, dark body hair, some of which grows on my face, that I have to basically remove everyday/every time I leave the house to be viewed as a person deserving of respect. Now I am speaking on my experience, and I can't even fathom how awful it is for trans women, woc, or even people who are gnc and all of the intersections inbetween, to have to put in the extra work to not feel disgusting in your own skin.

Can we get normal about body hair.

[beautifulblooms]

Hi! I'm a side blog so I hope it's ok to request this way 😅 Could I by chance get an Eddie x reader where reader is Billy's identical twin but is kind and pretty shy. Maybe he asks if he could join hellfire club.

Requested in DM's

You Two are So Different - Eddie Munson x Hargrove Twin! Male Reader

Male!Reader, I did a fraternal twin rather than identical so the reader is a little more customizable for each reader, still the same premise of a shyer Hargrove, also if you're the person that requested this in my dm's I hope you're doing well and sorry for going on hiatus right after you sent this-

Part 2 maybe???????

CIS Women and Female Aligned people, please DNI, this story and all of my others are for non-binary, masculine aligned and male readers!

Tags: @qthetherapist, @rlmt1, @eddieverse, @alexs-playground, @mazettns, @mother-dragon-and-her-hatchlings, @samthecultist

"Hey I wanted to ask you about joining your D&D club, Hellfire right?" I played with the sleeves of my sweatshirt, eyes trained on the floor after building up enough courage to talk to Eddie Munson. He was the prettiest guy in school and I could barely grow the balls to talk to him. But today was different, it was my day, (y/n) Hargrove's day to ask Eddie Munson to join Hellfire.

"And who might you be, cute stranger?" I could feel the nervousness coursing through me, wanting to crawl into a hole and never come out. Eddie Munson called me cute, he probably thought I was a girl, that's the downside of keeping my hair long at my brothers request and speaking quietly I guess.

"Um, I'm (y/n) Hargrove, I was wondering if I'd be able to join Hellfire, it um sounds fun and I've never seen a D&D club outside of California." Eddie took a deep breath after I said my last name, and there was the fear that I always got from people at the mention of it. Guess that's the downside of being the new Hawkins High King's twin brother.

"Well that's a new one, how about it boys? A newcomer for our party? It's been a while since we've gotten any requests to join." Turning back to the group, Eddie leaned onto his hands, god I always loved when he did that, head tilted and smiling like an idiot. They all muttered amongst themselves while I stood there and watched them deliberate. After a couple minutes there was a nod from most of them, Mike Wheeler was the only one to deny the request.

"Majority rule Wheeler, he can join, and with that, welcome to Hellfire Hargrove, I look forward to seeing you every Friday." My heart was pounding against my chest, but I nodded anyway and began to walk back to the corner table I always sat at before a hand grabbed mine.

"Where do ya think you're going Hargrove, Hellfire sits together, and I happen to have a chair right here with your name on it." Without another word Eddie pulled me into his lap, I didn't even know what to do besides sit there shaking and burying my face in my hands while Eddie chuckled at me. "Ya know, I may not have known you for long, but you and your brother are very different."

[masterjedilenawrites]

🌟 The fun thing about clone battalions having assigned numbers is that there's (usually) a calendar date to match them. I've decided to shower some attention on our favorite clone battalions this year by writing a little something-something for them on their corresponding dates 💜

Though this may not be popular, I'm starting off with my OC clone unit: the 116th Battalion. I've mentioned them a few times in The Sniper & the Medic and in anon conversations about OCs. I've been wanting to put more of them onto paper, so to speak, and January 16th gives me a fun excuse to do so!

OCs: 116th & Joan Vo | 1.4k words

Content: references to blood and death

The 116th

"Prepare to jump." Commander Crowe's voice echoed around the bridge and his men immediately fell into position, quietly and efficiently. Like a well-oiled machine. Crowe may have been known to sport hairy legs and flip-flops on his days off, but his authority was not to be messed with while on duty. There'd be time enough for everyone to have their personalities later, after the mission was over.

"Coordinates set for -401.72, -561.84, 004.32," confirmed the battalion pilot, R.J.

"Ready to jump into hyperspeed, on your command," nodded R.J.'s co-pilot, Diver.

Crowe let a brief, dramatic moment pass before saying, "Jump." It was his favorite thing to do, though he'd never admit it to a soul.

Stars stretched into dazzling streaks across the viewport as the Valiant cut through them. They'd have about an hour before reaching the rest of the battalion stationed outside of Batuu. The data they'd recovered from a grounded CIS craft on Malastare could then be transmitted back to Coruscant for further analysis.

But the data chip wasn't the only thing they'd be bringing back with them. Crowe couldn't help but glance over at the young woman who sat in one of the tactician chairs, clothes stained with the blood of its previous owner. The shiny, Brig, hadn't even been in the role two full rotations before getting blown to smithereens. Crowe blamed himself for not checking for booby traps on that CIS cruiser before sending the young hotshot in. And this woman blamed herself for not being able to stitch him back together in time.

"What do you make of her?"

A soft voice came up beside him, Jedi General Rhee. Crowe grunted in acknowledgement.

"She's alright," he responded, not wanting to commit to an opinion one way or the other. Not yet.

She was not the first stray they'd picked up. Far from it. No matter where they went, on a mission, in the thick of a battlefield, even on R&R, they always seemed to attract whatever sad, lost, and lonely being was around, from Tookas to orphans to escaped slaves. They'd shelter the poor things for a bit and then help them find a home elsewhere. Though Crowe was pretty sure there was still a porg being secretly kept on one of the other ships.

This woman, Joan Vo, was a little different. For one, she hadn't begged to come aboard. Hadn't tried to strike any deals or use the sad puppy in the rain tactic that others had done. No, she simply stated it. Demanded it, even. And for another, she seemed equally determined to stay. Become part of the crew. Crowe wasn't sure what the legalities were with such a thing. The Republic would get their fair share of civilian volunteers, but they were often in administrative or training roles, not as an active combat medic.

All that to say, Crowe didn't know what to make of her. And he wasn't about to get attached to something he didn't understand.

"She has heart," Rhee was saying. The Jedi's gentle voice just barely managed to recapture Crowe's attention from his confused thoughts. "The boys need some of that, after all the hell they've been through these past few cycles."

Crowe only grunted again. He supposed he was right. They'd been on very punishing back-to-back missions that had lost more brothers than expected. Though he wasn't sure what this lady would be able to do about it. There were things not even a doctor could heal.

She seemed to sense they were looking at her. She promptly rose from the chair and came over.

"Dr. Vo." Rhee extended his hand, not having been properly introduced yet.

"Please, call me Joan," she said, taking his hand. Her voice was low and raspy, as if she'd been shouting all day. Which, Crowe knew, she had not. She had remained calmed and assertive throughout all the horrors they'd faced on that cruiser.

"And you may call me Rhee," smiled the Jedi. The 116th was very loose with their names, rarely ever using titles unless they were around other units or Republic leaders. Even then, Rhee insisted on being called General Rhee as his last name was far too difficult to pronounce for most.

"I understand you wish to join the battalion," Rhee continued as they dropped hands. "We would be honored to have such a courageous spirit among our ranks."

"We already have a medical team." A new voice joined the little circle they'd created at the back of the bridge. Captain Civic, Crowe's righthand. The solider was opposite to Crowe in every way, which was saying something considering that Crowe himself had quite a dueling personality. Where Crowe had a laidback, "live-and-let-live" demeanor in his downtime, Civic was much more concerned with the status quo and all the "shoulds" and "should nots" that came with it. But on a battlefield, Crowe held his ground while Civic improvised. Crowe was competitive; Civic was civil.

The list could keep running on, but despite all the differences, the two brothers were tight-knit, leading their men in a united effort. There was only one other clone whom Crowe was so completely bonded with, but they were assigned different battalions. Civic was his true brother in arms.

Joan didn't seem put off by Civic and his disapproval suddenly showing up to the conversation. "But you didn't bring them with you today," she countered. She crossed her arms over her chest, not-so-subtly drawing attention to the fact there was still blood all over it.

"They were needed elsewhere," Civic responded cooly.

"And I'm not. I am an additional resource."

Civic already had his mouth open for another retort but Rhee wisely stepped in before things got out of hand.

"And we are very grateful for your generosity," he said with another kind smile. "Now, it will be some time before we join the rest of the fleet. Allow me to show you to refreshers so you can get cleaned up. Civic will make sure a room gets prepared for your stay as well."

The Jedi gave the Captain a knowing look as he ushered Joan to walk away with him.

Civic waited until the two got out of sight before letting out a frustrated huff.

"Don't know what you're so upset about," Crowe chuckled lowly. "She doesn't strike me as the type to steal your socks."

He was referring to a pretty Twi'lek girl they'd once rescued from a nasty old Baron. All the boys had been smitten with her, until they realized she'd been stealing odd things from them all.

Civic's mouth only deepened in its frown. "I'd rather deal with petty theft."

"Than what?"

"Exactly. We don't know what this chick's MO is. What civvy in their right mind would demand to work with the GAR on the frontlines? She's either crazy, or she's up to something."

Crowe agreed that it was odd, and that he didn't like not understanding what this woman was about. But so revealed another difference between him and Civic. To him, this was an intriguing mystery that needed to play itself out. He was content to simply keep an eye on her and nothing else.

Civic, on the other hand, was lining her up in his scope, ready to fire at the first sign of maliciousness. Crowe almost felt sorry for the girl, if he didn't believe she could handle it. Of the few things he knew about Joan so far, she wasn't phased by much.

"Well, like it or not, she's here to stay," he clapped him on the shoulder. "We'll just have to make do."

Crowe hid a smile as his words predictably got Civic all worked up.

"Make do? Make do?" The poor clone was practically hyperventilating at such a notion. "What if she's plotting to overtake control of the fleet, use our forces against the rest of the garrison? What if she kills us in our sleep? Or what if she's just crazy and still kills us in our sleep?"

Crowe just shook his head and left Civic standing on the bridge with more of his what-if scenarios. Only time would tell what Dr. Joan Vo was up to. In the meantime, Crowe needed a shower. He'd just realized that he, too, was still covered in the blood of their fallen brother.

Every Character Tag: @dangerousstrawberrypie, @justanothersadperson93, @arctrooper69, @sleepycreativewriter, @techie-bear, @theroguesully, @cw80831

I didn't think to include an OC category on my tag lists, so if you want to be added or removed from this type of content from me, let me know!

✨Join A Tag List Here!✨

🌟 2024 Clone Battalion Series Master List | 🌙 Master List of Master Lists

[divinctions]

✿ ━━━━ ARLO HWANG

Is that Cha Eunwoo ? oh, no, that's Arlo Hwang ! A twenty-seven year old Gaming Content Creator/Streamer who uses he/him pronouns. They currently live in Valparaiso, and the character they identify with most is Arataki Itto from Genshin Impact. Hopefully they find their own little paradise here in el país de los poetas!

your resident gamer boy with brainrot here only to be loud and wrong / more below

━━━━━━━━━   B  A  S  I  C  S :

full name: arlo haneul hwang ( contreras )

nickname(s): hannie ( by his mother ), lo, lolo

age: twenty - seven .

ethnicity: korean american . korean chilean ( dual citizenship ) .

gender: cis man .

pronouns: he / him .

orientation: heteroromantic / heterosexual .

occupation: youtube gamer / streamer .

language(s) spoken: english , spanish ( valpo spanish ) , learning korean .

career claims: lazerbeam fortnite content, markipliers fnaf content, and quinbobins youtube channel .

aesthetics: glow of a computer screen in a dark room, the sound of someone feverishly typing on a keyboard, and screams of delight followed by hours old monster energy and axe body spray

most replayed song: snooze - sza ( patrick star ai cover )

━━━━━━━━━   P  E  R  S  O  N  A  I  L  I  T  Y  :

absolutely unhinged . speaks without thinking . impulsive . he’s comfortable in his skin, career, and outlook on life which makes him confident beyond belief ( alot of the time unjustifiably so). he’s an idiot and he knows it. anyone can correct him and he won’t say anything, even if it’s a topic he knows like the back of his hand; he just assumes they’re right because he’s really dumb like barely graduated dumb and that’s okay. which means he’s so fucking gullible. it doesn’t even take much to gaslight him, it’s more of a match that won’t strike and he’ll still believe it. truly takes everything at face value. easily gets hyper fixated on his interests and will talk about them nonstop, you don’t have to be listening to him but he’ll yammer on and on; he swears it’s just the streamer effect but honestly he’s just like that. like i said he’s dumb as hell but the knowledge he does retain is all very irrelevant and useless on the grand scheme of things like he couldn’t tell you the right way to use a comma but if you have a few hours for to go over five nights at freddy’s lore he’s excited to share . very kind mainly because he’s not someone who will do well in a fight. his comebacks are limited to ‘ i know you are but what am i ’ and ‘ i’m like rubber, you’re like glue; what you throw at me bounces off me and sticks to you ’. he has to be nice. always has a joke on his tongue that it’s okay not to laugh at because he’ll laugh enough for everyone . over all has very good energy, he’s a go with the flow kind of person, the kind you can call on a whim to go out and he’ll be down. can make the most out of a bad situation and tries to see the positive in everything. that being said though he is dramatic af, but it’s over minor inconveniences like his package is delayed or he’s hungry and his food got delivered to the wrong address. then he’s the biggest baby around. 

━━━━━━━━━    B  A  C  K  G  R  O  U  N  D  :

arlo grew up in a extremely loving family. as the only child with a single mother who worked from him, he wasn’t necessarily spoiled, there were a lot of guidelines he was expected to follow and his mouth often got him in trouble in school, but his mother was always very gentle with him. he had undiagnosed adhd as young as four years old and had no place to expel that energy; he was no good at sports, didn’t have the athleticism for it, it only left him with injuries. but he was restless so his mother decided to introduce him to a variety of video games she was working on the concept art for..

it was a way to get him to settle down and focus on something, and also spend time as a family. he got to learn more about his mother’s job as a concept artist and what sparked her interest in video games and the kind of escape they give. arlo was very bad at them from the start, no matter how long he played or how easy the mode he set himself in, but it never turned him off from the games. he was really attracted to the idea that he could fail however many times he wanted and would still get the chance to try again and correct where he went wrong until he did get it right. or the game took pity on him and pushed him forward anyway.

his mother would go out and purchase a variety of consoles and games to have family game nights that she would use to slowly introduce her new boyfriend to. what started as a weekend thing quickly turned into a nearly every night of the week thing and something he looked forward to the most. At first, the addition of mr. contreras ( the name arlo still calls the man to this day ) bothered arlo to his core. there was a routine he’d fallen into and he loved it. he lived a comfortable life, but him showing up meant nights with babysitters and limited time in front of the tv or in front of his games to be sent to his room or go out on family outings where they’d pretend to a big happy family, but arlo always felt they were just that without mr. contreras.

despite arlo being a dramatic little shit, his step-dad was determined to get on his good side. he worked hard to prove to arlo he was someone he could trust and that he wouldn’t be going anywhere with a beautiful engagement ring to his mother. his soon to be step-dad, a costume designer, would hand make arlo’s costumes for halloween or events where he wanted to be his favorite video game character. it was a process he actually really enjoyed learning about and taking part in. by the time they packed up and moved to chile when arlo was 11 for the wedding, he was beginning to make his own costumes and tailoring his own clothes ( not always the best but he was getting there ).

as he got older his parents interest in the games dwindled as his mother turned to the beautiful mural work of valpo and his step-father focused more on the local theater scene, but they had already created a monster. he tried to connect with his classmates, joined gaming clubs, and online spaces available, but the thing is he’s not very good??? at playing games??? easily confused, has a hard time figuring out controls, and panics at any sudden music change which makes him forgot how to play the game completely because he thinks he’s about to die anyway. his game play style didn’t really mesh well with the people who are very good at games and they figured why let him play if he was only going to die or bring his team down. not to mention he was still adjusting to learning a new language, being in a new country, and missing the time when it was just him and his mother. he wasn’t use to sharing her, and it had always felt like it would be him and her against the world. it’s not that he didn’t like his step-father, arlo just couldn’t adjust to change well. once he was comfortable in a space that’s where he thrived, where he wished to stay. his step-father took that comfortability away and pushed him into something new, and he wasn’t doing so well with new.

like all us lonely, ostracized folks who wanna share a space with people who share like interests, he turned to the internet ! at first, he started uploading on youtube and streaming to get better. he was looking for tips, and hoping others would reach out to help him out. games had become a solace for him when he was growing up, and he hated feeling like he was being torn away from it because he couldn’t find anyone to connect with. what his bad gameplays actually brought him was a community of people who liked that he just enjoyed the game for what it was without worrying about being the best. they laughed when alongside him as he managed to die for the fourth time in ten minutes, they cheered when he managed to win a match by pure luck, and they felt comforted knowing there was someone out being bad at games and having fun with like most of the game players at home. he had created a space for players of any level to just have fun and not have to worry about the pretentious ridicule from others in the community.

after having that realization he completely embraced the brand he unintentionally created and the upward success. his parents are super proud of him and brag about his career all the time. of course, he’s insanely active on social media always posting but he’s especially active in his discord servers and in the comments of his posts because he really does love engaging with his community. he loves collaborating with smaller creators and pushing the notion that gaming should be fun and relaxing. and never cruel.

━━━━━━━━━   H  E  A  D  C  A  N  O  N  S  :

he absolutely ADORES music. could be the adhd but he often has to have it on in the background when he’s playing games no matter what. during his streams he’ll have a 15 minute dance party with viewers to hype himself up before playing. also enjoys learning gg dances and tiktok dances on stream. he’s actually a pretty good dancer too but you won’t catch this man in a class. closest he gets to sweating is when he plays just dance and takes it very seriously, obviously.

sza’s number one fan. if he could uproot his life to become her groupie he’d do it without hesitation.

He’s a cosplayer!!! Very serious about it to, he’s invited to hella conventions to host cosplay contests and has talks with some of the most famous cosplayers in the game. He thinks the craft is really cool and is super proud of the work he does. His current favorite cosplays to do are: Sidon from botw/totk, Childe, Itto & Zhongli from Genshin Impact, Levi Ackerman from Attack on Titan, and Tuxedo Man from Sailor Moon.

the gaming chair he has is really just for show, because he stands almost immediately whenever he’s playing games bc he panics. spends a lot of time walking in laps around his room whenever he does something more stupid than usual in game. 

he doesn’t really have “gaming rage” he finds it more funny if anything. that doesn’t mean there’s no shouting, there’s a lot of shouting, it’s just not angry and vile. It’s a lot of laughter and a lot of begging, but whenever he’s playing horror games his spanish comes out. he’s been living in chile for 16 years so the language is second nature to him he just blurts it out very passionately, very terrified. It’s very funny.

absolutely hates horror games, he has a gentle heart, but he also has fomo and a curious mind so he plays all of them that are requested. especially since his fnaf videos skyrocketed his career forward. He actually had a cameo in the fnaf movie as the security guard in the beginning of the movie, and yes his fear was very real and yes it’s one of the coolest thing he’s ever done. 

has a fortnite skin and locker bundle and it’s his pride and joy he loves it so much. Will brag about it whenever he gets a chance, so give him a CHANCEEEEEE.

does not pull at ALL. he simply does not know how, and does not know when anyone is interested in him so he really is just out here spinning like a ballerina with his steam deck in one hand and his switch in the other.

Has a pet turtle named after his queen, his icon, the goddess he preys to: urbosa from the legend of zelda games.

━━━━━━━━━    W A N T E D C O N N E C T I O N S :

A vampire by olivia rodrigo esque plot where arlo is just used for money, status, company ( dont know why youd want that BUT FDKGIJKODFUKHJIS We can plot ), but he’s very gullible so he believed that it was real and it was fine but they only ever came around when it benefited them, never wanted to talk about anything he was interested in or any problems he had was basically just so awful to him and it took him way too long to get the picture honestly UFIJDKSFUFIJSKO

FESTIVAL PARTNER. This would be someone he goes to musical festivals with, like all the festivals. It doesn’t matter where in the world it is or how last minute it is, if there’s a festival they’ll get tickets and catch the flight, rent the car, etc. It’s led them on so many great adventures and they’ve landed in some very funny situations because of it. Just an all around great time.

ROOMMATES !!!! I think its funny if they didn’t know arlo was a streamer when they agreed to move in and so are shocked when he’s not only home all the time but shouting at top volume at 4am. He’d definitely try to convince them to game with him, and try bribes. He’s always ordering food bc he cant cook so at least he’s eating good.

Influence/Celeb/Socialite frenemy. I’d like to see him in a collab contract for a clothing company, or energy drink, or something influencers are paid insane amounts to promote, but they can’t stand each other BKJFGKODUHFIJKOS Arlo is notoriously hard to work with because he doesn’t find the work fun so he pouts a lot until it gets fun and then he can manage but only for a little bit because he’d rather be doing something else so I can see them bickering a lot but at the end of the day they’ll stand up for one another if they think they’re being mistreated.