#splash configuration

[yuki2sksksk]

Instead of a bounty plastered, this time, the merman noticed, the pirate had her face over a large poster, hung almost neatly just by the ship dock. He stayed hidden, still hearing footsteps and chattering echoing through the small port belonging to a small island he had just came across on.

He heard, despite the slurring words of those drunken humans, that the island is under the protection of the Butterfly Pirates ever since those -- what the government branded as criminals -- saved the natives of the island from nasty illness that had reduced the number of their populations. The government had deemed the islanders a 'loss cause' and abandoned them in time of needs. The pirates had saved them and the islanders were so grateful they even propped a picture of the captain by the dock.

He emerged out of his hidden spot once the coast was clear, propping his arms over the dock configuration, careful not to make loud splashing in the water as his eyes darted towards the taken picture of the Butterfly Pirates captain.

Gentle looking, her eyes were, even in the form of a picture. Unlike her bounty poster, she had her mouth opened in this one, the corner of her lips tucking up as if she was almost laughing while the photo was taken. It didn't matter what she wore in this poster or her bounty one, she could have worn a rug and still looked beautiful in it.

He tilted his head, eyes never left the poster, remembering the way this particular captain looked at him with no trace of judgement, eyes twinkling with no hostility and leaving him be in peace when he didn't reply when she greeted him.

" My, aren't you the prettiest merman I have ever laid my eyes on. "

He shuddered, feeling heat creeping up to his cheeks and ears as he recalled her sweet tone voice. Shaking his head, the merman dived back into the water, deciding that, while his dislike for humans still remained, it doesn't apply for this pirate with the name Kanae.

[Masterlist]

[peterparkersnose]

It’s Just Paint

pairing: Din Djarin x reader

word count: 1.2k

warnings: a bad day of parenting, stress, anxiety, arguing, fluff, SAND

a/n grogu’s art is the future mona lisa. shorter piece, i hope you enjoy. I got this idea from a fan art (that I cannot find to save my life) so if you recognize the art, tag me please! I would love to give credit where it belongs :)

summary Din and Y/N struggle with the parenting lifestyle. 

masterlist

join the tag list

read time: 4 mins 36 seconds

Home sweet home. If you could call the dingy, falling apart ship home. But home to you were two people; A Mandalorian and a green baby. Sighing, you questioned your life decisions as you began the journey to the ship.

You trudged up the sandy hill Din had parked the crest on, woven bags of groceries hanging from your arms. The calls of the night creatures began to ring, making you walk a bit faster. The suns were setting, and the gorgeous orange sky was very present.

The hatch opened and it was eerily quiet. Grogu wasn’t whining to meet you at the door; Din’s beskar wasn’t clanking around.

“Hellooo?” you sang, your voice echoing down the hallway.

Setting the groceries down on a shelf, you went to see if Din was even home. Maybe a bounty came up unexpectedly. You carefully made your way around a corner when the scent of paint hit you.

Your paint.

“Dank farrik,” you sighed. Grogu had most definitely gotten into your paints you had hidden away. “Din!” you called. No response.

Annoyed, you slammed the button to open your quarters and change out of your sand clothes. The goggles came off, and you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.

Your hair was a mess- covered in sand to say the least. Your white boots had now a tan configuration to them. The robes hit your floor with a thud. Exchanging them for a comfy pair of joggers and a tee, you walked to your sink and tried to get as much sand out of your hair as you could.

When you shut off the water you heard a bump.

So they are home.

As you squeezed out your hair, you heard a faint coo from Grogu.

You anxiously combed back your hair, eager to see your family for the first time today.

The hatch hissed open and revealed a sight. Din was struggling to keep Grogu still; little red painted toes ran across the steel ground of the crest.

“Need some help?” you asked, leaning your hips against the doorframe. You didn’t need to see his face to know what face he was making.

“It would be nice,” he sighed with a slight sarcastic tone, turning around from the sink.

Your eyes grew wide at the sight. Grogu was covered in red, blue, and mixed purple paint. Green paint was smeared on his fingers and on Din’s gloves.

A burst of laughter erupted from you. “Not funny,” he hissed, holding the nude creature awkwardly in his hands. You weren’t laughing at that; no way you were laughing at the wasted expensive paint.

Din had little works of art all over his beskar. Unsure of what, but Grogu had definitely painted a few murals all over him. What looked like Banthas were sloppily drawn over his chest plate; a surprisingly good night sky with what seemed like were orange stars plagued his helmet.

“What happened?” you asked, a hand supporting you on the wall to make sure you didn’t fall over in laughter.

“Grogu was naughty.” Din said, turning his attention back to the baby and plopping him in the sink. Grogu splashed around and whined.

“You fall asleep?” you asked, joining Din at the sink to help keep Grogu in control. No response.

“You fell asleep.”

“Did not.” he resisted. His body art was just proof he was lying. “You are a horrible liar, Din Djarin.”

“And you are a great painter,” you said, scrubbing Grogu’s tiny hands. “Painted all over daddy while he slept.”

Din audibly sighed over the daddy comment. “What do you mean, painted all over me?” he asked, taking his gloves off in defeat.

“Have you looked in the mirror lately?” you scoffed, grabbing a dry kitchen towel to wrap Grogu in.

Din stepped into the fresher. A small gasp came from behind the mask. You heard the hinges of the mask come off and him set it on the countertop.

“Put him down, will you? I need you to come in here.” he yelled from the fresher. Grogu now sat on the kitchen countertop chewing on some grass seeds draped in a kitchen towel.

You picked Grogu up and set him in his floating bassinet.

You entered the fresher to find Din in a panic. His mood was a shock to you. You didn’t expect him to be so upset about a little paint.

“It’s just some paint. It comes out,” you said, trying to calm him. “I just can’t believe- that little shit. Gods Y/N I just don’t know-”

“Din. It’s just paint.”

Your re assuring words weren’t as effective as you hoped. He still had a horrified look on his face and you understood why.

“My armor…” he said in shock, holding his chest plate now in his hands. “It comes out, right?”

“Just told you it did.” you called from the kitchen, collecting his gloves that were full of paint.

Coming back to the fresher, you were met with a defeated Din. His armor was sprawled out on the floor. He was sitting on the corner of the bathtub with his hands on his head.

A saddened sigh came from you. Meeting him at the side, your hand rested on his back and slowly moved back and forth. He slowly leaned his head into your stomach.

“He doesn’t know any better, you know that.” you said, turning and looking at his armor. “I know,” he said solemnly. “It’s just…”

“Hard.”

Din’s tired eyes met yours. “Didn’t sleep well last night?” you asked him, cupping his left cheek. He pressed into your hand and nodded his head. His scruffy face tickled your hand. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the small parenting moment the two of you were having together.

“Go and lay down. I’ll take care of this. If that’s okay,” you offered. Din nodded as your hand left his face. He trudged into the bedroom. You heard the bed creak as he flopped down on it like he always did when he was tired.

An hour and a half later, it was done. His armor looked almost brand new.

All the hard scrubbing, the pile of used paper towels behind you and the steam from the shower was enough to send you into a coma. You were exhausted. Slowly, you cleaned up the mess you made and layed a towel down next to the bathtub. There you left the beskar to dry, and for Din to do what he wishes with it later.

You peek out in the hallway. Grogu was fast asleep as you expected. A little bit of red paint sat on his ear tip, small enough where you could just flick it off. You gave him a small kiss on the forehead and left to go find Din.

He was wrapped up in the burgundy blanket on your bed. His soft hair was laying flat on the bed, his pillow was clutched between his arms. His mouth was squished against the mattress slightly agape.

A smile rose to your face. “Din,” you whispered, slowly making your hands meet and trying to loosen the pillow from his hands.

“No,” he muttered, pulling it closer to him. “I’m here,” you said. His soft brown eyes opened. “Oh,” he muttered, shoving the pillow aside.

You crawled into the bed slowly, trying not to make so much noise. His arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you close. He let out a satisfied grunt when the two of you were comfortable. You knew he couldn’t sleep properly without you, or without holding something.

“The pillow really was a lousy excuse for you,”

all posts @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @samanthacookieone @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25 @nyotamalfoy​

[discotechque]

oh, i think you’re standing on my left foot

pairing: jamie tartt/gn! reader word count: 915 warnings: allusions to nsfw requested: no

establishing myself as a ted lasso fan and s2 jamie tartt ... i miss you and your mess!!!

if there's one thing you learned during your time tethered with jamie is that there are no good relationships, only boring ones.

Jamie watches you like prey. It’s the only real way to subtly attract what he wants. Lingering glances, a trailing hand, circling around your frame. To be wanted is to be hunted, you've learned that he is not interested in things that don't give chase.

It's a motivation, after all, a purpose that keeps your relationship relatively stable. You are caught within his bite, punctured right through your chest and stiches slowly pulling apart. He sews them back up through fleeting meaningless affection. If neither of you had that, this would have surely failed long ago.

So, you're not particularly bothered at his sudden departure from Richmond to Manchester. His physical presence comes without attachments and dialogue is exchanged through some messages. His appearance on a dating show wasn't anything of note. There's not enough shame in him to weigh a full ounce an even that description is grossly generous. You didn't mind him crawling back into your lap after his status had been stripped for him and he was a liability only you could handle.

You are not jaded by his worst qualities, it's something you've learned to embrace over short moments. Realistic is a term that sits well as coffee pours from his sponsored Keurig. It already looks dent and worn despite being a newer model, obvious marks of his most epic battle of configuring basic technology. The machine spurred to life only after a second and doesn't even fill your cup halfway. It's a shame because Jaime only buys shitty holiday creamers, lured by their supposed seasonal exclusivity.

He's forced you to bring your own, the splash of French vanilla hardly does anything to increase volume. Imposed domesticity, is there anything more romantic than that? Some would argue that's all this arrangement is.

"You're up early, eh?" His voice doesn't spark your attention.

The patting of his feet trickles alongside him as he treks downstairs. This house is fraught with empty crevices that echo any sound that grazes their walls. The sound of a spoon swilling in your cup is deafening, it's somewhere around seven in the morning. Jaime doesn't keep any clocks near him—your guess is purely intuitive, and this attempt of an early departure has gone unnoticed.

His arm slips past your waist and plants itself against the marble counter, a chaste kiss pressed against your collarbone follows in quick succession. He's nothing if not a man composed of unrecognized rhythm. "Gettin' real sick of me already?"

His canines lightly dig into your shoulder, teasing teeth marks that will somehow inevitably find themselves in planned positions later on. Jaime takes time with his hunt, what he's struck down is his alone. You don't altogether mind the implications of it.

His bare pelvis grazes against your backside but he's still soft. The grasp he's kept on your waist is tender alike to his tone. He's reeling you in for more. "Don't ask stupid questions. Your sudden modesty isn't doing you any favors."

Modesty is an exaggeration. If you hadn't chosen dramatics, you would have settled on slim dignity.

His hair tickles the back of your neck, face resting against the dip in your shoulder. "Least, I didn' beg you to stay. What an absolute sad sack of shit I would be." He would have done so though; you don't dare to say it out loud. Instead, a complacent grin rises upon your lips as you turn within his hold.

He would've stuttered through some messy halfhearted apology that only concerned itself with fibs if you hadn't taken him back after everything. You wonder if he would've resorted to some insincere confession. I really like you; the words would be chewed out into sticky syllables, molasses coating each one.

The thought would be so amusing if you didn't know that in another life, it would be true.

"The day Jamie Tartt has to beg to get his way will be when hell in unleashed."

Your hands languidly wrap around his neck, fingers loosing connecting near his upper back. Scratching a trail along his clothed spine and he hums in affirmation. Jaime shuts his eyes, keeping his hands on you and shallowly swaying.

"D'ya always have to speak so melodramatic?" Unsubtly, his grasp manages to travel down your waist. Small squeezes encouraging you to find a seat on his marble countertops. "Nothin' like oh yeah, Jamie, I think ya so smart and I want your cock."

His suggestions are something you often resist at first.

"You ever hear me say cock in this lifetime and I want you to hire a militia firing squad to go at me. Promise me that."

His first curls up nearly your shoulder, it's gone through a hesitantly travel you've only been acutely aware of. There's an instinct for Jamie to cup your face, you can sense his conflict over such an insignificant action. "I'm not good on promises, love."

"Yeah," his calloused fingers return to dig into your thighs. They aide you in finding some purchase on the cramped enclosure. In the meanwhile, you trail light pecks along his jaw. "I'm aware."

He wants you this morning, roaming down the length of your frame with precision. Just like he did last night and just like all the other nights where you'll stumble into his home with him half bruised. Somehow, he's been made the epitome of temptation in your eyes. You don't think prey often wish to be devoured.

It doesn't matter. You'll indulge him this once.

[lonestarbattleship]

January 7, 2023 update from the Battleship Texas Foundation

Battleship Texas in dry dock 1/7/24.

"DRY DOCK TOURS

Tours are now full through the entire month of January. We look forward to welcoming five hundred of you into the shipyard to see the amazing progress made to Battleship Texas!

A Dry Dock Tour wanders underneath 27,000 tons of Battleship Texas.

Dry Dock Tour participants sign one of the COME ON TEXAS banners that have hung on the gangway for many months.

STEEL REPAIR - Steel repairs have been completed on the hull of Battleship Texas. Some troublesome areas were found once the ship was sandblasted, so additional repairs have been made. These areas will be blasted and coated before the ship submerges in the water once again.

New steel being placed near one of the ship's docking keels. This area will be lightly blasted and coated.

HULL - The ship's hull has been coated in PPG

SIGMASHIELD 880 GF to protect the steel from potential corrosion. While the hull is supposed to be red below the black band at the waterline, the Battleship Texas Foundation has chosen to not spend the extra funds on a cosmetic choice that will not be seen once the ship is back in the water. The coatings that have been applied are plentiful and should protect the ship for many years to come.

NAVY BLUE 5-N - Above the boot top (above the black band) the ship has been painted Navy Blue 5-N. This color was matched from existing examples found aboard (both internally and externally) the vessel. The ship was painted in this camouflage scheme (Measure 21) prior to deploying to the Pacific Theater in World War II. At this time Battleship Texas is the ONLY museum ship painted in this scheme and only one of two Battleships in their wartime measure.

The ship's draft numbers have been installed and painted on the bow and stern

HULL NUMBERS - The new hull numbers have been extensively researched so each number is not only the correct font, but applied in the appropriate position it was in 1945. The numbers have been applied to both bow and stern.

The ship's name and hull number have been applied to the stern.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

KEEL BLOCKS - Yes, the keel blocks supporting Battleship Texas can be moved. Each block is moved so the area atop of them can be blasted, repaired (if need be), and coated.

SPLASH! - The ship will be put back into the water in February 2024, but is dependent on the weather.

WHAT'S NEXT? - Battleship Texas will remain at Gulf Copper Shipyard for the time being. WHAT'S NEXT? - Battleship Texas will remain at Gulf Copper Shipyard for the time being. Additional steel work, removal and replacement of the ship's deck, and superstructure/aft fire control restoration will continue.

Scaffolding surrounds the ship's superstructure as repairs in these areas come to an end.

The ship's aft fire control continues to be restored to its 1945 configuration. The installation of the windows and more has already begun.

The areas that the ship's six 5"/51 cal. guns sat have been blasted and coated. A wood decking will go down next.

Part of a Dry Dock Tour ends their tour with a picture in front of the ship's bow!

Live, Laugh, And Flood your Torpedo Blisters. To donate to the preservation and operation of Battleship Texas, please visit: https://battleshiptexas.org/

Support Battleship Texas by making a purchase through the ship's store: https://store.battleshiptexas.org"

Posted on the Battleship Texas Foundation Group Facebook page: link

[sanctus-ingenium]

So the knight sits in the throne to drive the mechs, but where do the enginesmith and the rest of the crew sit in the mechs?

this is a typical battle configuration. for transport to the site of the battle, additional crews ride on top or wherever it's safe, and dismount to set up camp and provide ground support when they reach their destination

i've drawn the chambers really big just for illustrative purposes. there's a platform usually on the head/behind the helm area for lookouts, navigators, and signallers (they use flag signals to communicate with the ground/other beasts)

the throne chamber is the most heavily armoured with an open front protected by a grille of bars. knights go in there. this is the safest place to be when being attacked from above (rip to the navigators). because knights' helms have no eye holes, field of view is not important.

in the chest there's the heart chamber and its great vessels. usually 3 great vessels. this is really cramped and really deep inside the body so it carries a really high risk of suffocation. one enginesmith, usually the senior, essentially 'plays' the heart engine's cylinder block like a piano to regulate it. iirc pantera has something like 112 pistons total, though not all in the heart. the purpose of the heart is to deliver fuel from the furnace to the limbs/neck/weapons systems/whatever currently requires it. the second enginesmith manages the valves which govern where the fuel goes.

in the belly furnace there's space for a very large crew, these guys have to manually inject fuel from the tank (in the pelvic girdle) into the furnaces at the correct rate to keep it the right temperature. they have tons of ventilation to ensure the fires are always going, but it's, again, very dangerous. the fuel can eat through flesh when it's at this temperature and even a small splash can very quickly become fatal. because of the boiling temperatures, there's no ppe. they work shirtless and have to rely on skill and experience to stay safe.

each area has a communications panel which uses a pull cord system or a message tube system (rarer). the cords are painted alternating bands of colours so that it is visually obvious when someone on the other end of the cord pulls it down a notch. it's simple but it works.

the knight's dialogue with the beast allows them to experience the movement of the cords as an extension of their own body, because the cords go through the spine. so any communication between the different chambers is known to the knight.

[3dspecbio]

Thanks to @hotkoin for the splash screen/home page for my setting's Wiki! I hope to share that as well once I configure it to be properly online.

[lonestarflight]

"The Skylab 4 Command Module splashes down in the Pacific Ocean southwest of San Diego, California at 10:17 am. The Command Module bobs in an apex-down configuration (stable two) in the calm water of the Pacific Ocean 176 miles southwest of San Diego, California, following a successful splashdown and 84-day mission in Earth orbit."

"A smiling William R. Pogue pauses in hatchway of Skylab 4 command module during recovery activities today aboard the USS New Orleans at the completion of man's longest space journey to date. Pogue splashed down with astronauts Gerald P. Carr and Dr. Edward G. Gibson, 84 days after the trio was launched by a Saturn IB rocket from Kennedy Space Center. Circling the globe 1, 214 times aboard the sophisticated Skylab space station during the nearly three-month flight, the astronauts demonstrated man's ability to live and work in space for extended periods."

Date: February 8, 1974

NASA ID: S74-17741, S74-17742, S74-17133, KSC-74PC-32

[jedifarmerr]

Javi's Having a Baby

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader/OFC (no y/n or physical description)

Rating: E (18+)

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Body insecurities related to pregnancy, smut (oral sex & masturbation) and lots of fluff.

Series Masterlist

Chapter 4

Strands of morning light swept through the fine curtains in splashes of gold over pink satin; the flimsy nightie clinging to her growing belly. With her leg draped over the plush white comforter and cradling the pillow, she almost appeared to be sleeping on a cloud. Ethereal. Javier couldn’t help but reach out and feather the tips of his fingers over her cheek; she let out a soft, dreamy sigh that he mimicked with one of his own. 

Bliss. 

Reluctantly, Javier slipped out of bed, careful not to wake her as the door clasped silently behind him. Goosebumps splattered his chest, in only a pair of loose fitting sleep shorts the draft in the hallway nipping his bare skin; a small price to pay – he reasoned as rummaging through drawers would certainly rouse her. He simply turned the dial on the thermostat on his way to the bathroom. 

Once his teeth were brushed, he plodded off to the kitchen with a languid overhead stretch and yawn. Soon, the smell of freshly brewed coffee stirred around the kitchen.

On the counter was a brown paper sack from the local bookstore by her work: another haul of pregnancy books. Baby names. Guides and How-To’s. What to expect. The basket by the toilet already full of them. Magazines alike scattered around the end tables, next to her stained tea-ring mugs. 

The house was a sanctuary of her small clutterings – trails of cups, oddly configured piles and sample-size beauty products lining the tub. 

Sure, he’d lived with Chucho after Colombia and there were those few weeks a lifetime ago with Elisa; bunked up in an apartment he would hardly call his own; a preservation of the previous owner where all that was truly his were the cigarette buds, whiskey in the fridge and suitcase in the closet. It was a still shot of sterilized loneliness. Nothing personal. Nothing changing from morning to when he arrived back at some godforsaken hour, not even a lamp left on. Just the lights of Bogotá interwoven in moonlight slicing up the tile floor. 

So, while she may have claimed it as a bad habit, Javier found those tiny reminders to fill a void that had long been overlooked. 

Sometimes he worried that one day he’d wake up in Colombia or Laredo, learning it was all some cruel dream. In awe over how his life turned out. Especially now. With an ultrasound clipped to the fridge. 15 weeks; healthy as can be. 

So much had changed since that first appointment. They’d really started to take shape – small button noses and sprouting limbs. No longer blobs but instead actually looking…real. The next appointment was set for 20 weeks and Dr. Kelly had tease the possiblity of learning the sex, depending on their position and all that. 

Hanging near the gray and grainy photo were holiday cards of friends and family, including the smiley faces and cheesy matching sweaters of the Murphy’s. Steve had gotten an earful while in town, a dinner squeezed in amongst the chaos of late December to share the exciting news. 

If only the restaurant had a camera hidden somewhere, Javier would’ve paid an obscene amount of money to have Steve’s reaction on video. Rarely was the blonde rendered speechless but the news of her not only being pregnant but with twins had Steve on a momentary vow of silence that was only broken by a sputtering cough from downing his whiskey and coke. 

When they parted later that evening under the harsh white street lights, the pride and joy in his blue eyes glimmering like the splash of stars above. Steve’s arms lingered around his shoulder, squeezing them as he pulled away; the whirlwind of emotions seeping into his drawl:

From one dad to another, I think you’re gonna do great. 

Javier sure hoped so. 

It was so easy for him to see how great a mother she was already becoming. It seemed like overnight the fridge had become stacked in color, all leafy greens and rosey fruits. Sadly, it reeked from that mystery smoothie batch she’d concocted earlier in the week which tasted like candied onions; one sip had him bent over the sink while she chugged it down like a beer bong at a frat party. 

It was honestly quite impressive. 

Wanting to do what he could, Javier put on a fresh kettle then started on breakfast, whipping up some chocolate chip pancakes. The sizzling pan drowned out the small groan of the bedroom door, the creak of wood under her steps. 

“What’s this?” Her voice was doused in sleep, rubbing her eyes and blinking awake to take in the fullness of the scene. She had thrown on the robe he’d bought her for Christmas, the ribbon tied in a loosely strewn bow. 

He smiled warmly. “Oh, nothing.” He shrugged all nonchalant, flipping the pancake over.

“Nothing, huh?” She wrapped her arms around his torso, warm and cozy from the blankets still and smelling of laundry. Her lips brushed over his spine, making his stomach flex under her palms. “Looks to me like something.” Her voice muffled against his skin. 

“It’s just pancakes,” he brushed off, grabbing her hand to place a chaste kiss to her knuckles before sliding the pancake on top of the leaning stack.

“Just pancakes,” she scoffed at his minimizing then scooped some batter onto her finger, sucking it off. “Oooh, that’s good,” her voice was innocently sensual and Javier knew she wasn’t trying to tease him as she’d done so countless times before, working him up until he was left with no choice but to drop to his knees, lift up that robe and bury himself between her thighs. 

No – she was completely preoccupied by the bowl, diving in for seconds and thirds. Oblivious to the way her barely there moans, a small pop of her spit-soaked finger made his cock twitch against the thick cotton seam. 

Over breakfast she detailed the itinerary for the day, zig-zagging around Austin, bouncing from one open house to the next. She’d practically mapped out every single one listed in the newspaper and advertised on street corners. Javier tried, really he did, to listen but his mind kept drifting into the gutters with the image of her hollow cheeks and eyes fluttering shut. 

He was like some rabid teenager doped up on testosterone and while he hoped a shower would wash it away, one whiff of her shampoo seduced him into taking the weight of his heavy cock in hand, pumping it empty while moaning her name into the shower head. 

Still.

He found little relief even as his cum painted the tiles, trickled down the drain. The splash of warm water a poor substitute in comparison to her slick cunt: tight and hot and all for him. 

Specks of water clung to his lips and imagining it was her wetness, his tongue swiped across it as if he could taste her just on bare memory. If he tried hard enough, maybe he could. 

It wasn’t much later when she waltzed in the front door after her daily walk; sweaty and lightly panting. His hair still damp and dark, cock spent – yet it throbbed at the sight of her. All greedy and wanting.

There had to be something wrong with him. Maybe that natural sleep remedy bullshit she’d bought was laced or something.

Because fuck – just hearing the shower running summoned a memory of her braced against those very tiles he’d just spilled onto; the borderline pornographic slap of skin on skin, the clamp of her soaked walls as his thumb grazed over the cleft of her ass, dipping experimentally into the tight hole. 

Javier shook his head as if it was an etch-a-sketch, scrubbing the pans and counters until they were spotless and rushing to get changed, but nothing could break him from the lustful curse. It’d been a week since he’d last had her and his body acted like it was water, dehydrated and lacking a pivotal need. 

When the shower finally shut off, Javier plopped down on the side of the bed, running his fingers through his hair. His cock tucked away in his jeans, hard and aching. 

Already at the end of his rope when she suddenly appeared in the doorframe – hair pulled back from her face and wrapped in a towel, he let out a throaty groan. The beams of morning light made her skin look dewy; beads of water like crystal teardrops tracing her collarbone and down to her chest and making him immediately feel parched.  

Javier gawked in exhalation – unworthy of someone so angelic. 

But she stiffened under his reverent and devouring gaze, clutching the towel closer to her body until it became skin and trying to walk away, but Javier was quick to click his tongue and drag her by the hip into the slot between his thighs. 

“Baby,” he said in a husky voice, roaming along her sides and whining at the thickness of the material. Damn these nice towels. He just wanted to feel the outline of her. 

“Javi.” 

He peered up with those puppy dog eyes she couldn’t deny, begging for just a selfish moment of indulgence. She relented, a subtle shake of her head with a smile that betrayed her. 

Keeping his eyes on her, examining her expression as he teased where the towel and her skin met. The graze of fingertips over the misty plushness of her inner thigh made her lips part. Only to clip back shut, tensing as his other hand fiddled with the makeshift flap. 

“Javi - I - I should get ready.” Her voice spiked up and his lips dipped into a subtle frown, but not for himself. He laid his palm flat on her thigh, teasing at the apex. He could feel the heat that radiated from her cunt, knowing if he closed that centimeter gap she’d be wet. 

“Just-” His forehead dropped softly against her belly, nuzzling his nose into the towel fold. “Let me see you.” Her thighs clamped around his hand; her silence prickling the air, bleeding with self-sabotaging thoughts that drew a furrow in her brow. 

He knew she was struggling with her evolving body. It seemed to snowball in the past few weeks after a button had popped off her jeans. It started with small comments that grew more frequent – comparing herself to a pregnant co-worker, pointing out the funny fit of her clothes. Of course, he tried to rebuff them with sensitivity and understanding but to no avail. The mind was tricky like that. He noticed how she looked in the mirror with what seemed to be a sense disapproval, trying to hide herself by insisting the lights stay off during sex, if not keeping on her shirt. 

Her perception of herself and what she saw was completely mismatched to his and Javier felt lost on what to do; how to help. How could he make her see what he did?

“Please, baby,” his voice was thick with desire, gaze earnest. He could see her contemplating, gnawing on her bottom lip before giving a small nod. He gave her the lead, leaning back slightly which also happened to offer a more ample view. 

With a shaky exhale, she ripped off the towel like it was a band-aid.

Bare before him, stomach swollen; his dark eyes cruised her figure and the sound that rumbled from deep in his chest bordered on barbaric and even slightly possessive. 

He visibly adjusted his cock then grasped at the meat of her hips. “My pretty wife,” he murmured, dragging the tip of his nose along her stomach, one hand skating along her side. The catch of his thumb at the cusp of her swelling breast made her shiver in his hold; she’d become so sensitive. 

“Beautiful,” he breathed out, enveloped in her softness and scent of her body wash. 

“Still?” The slight tremble of nervous hope in her voice ripped at his insides. 

He stopped, looking into her eyes. 

“Always,” he said, sternly and she breathed out, body melting in relief. 

Slowly, she became malleable in his arms as his worshiping hands turned her doubts to dust; a river of praise flowing from his lips as tender as the kisses he dotted her belly with. He roamed to her thighs and her fingers threaded into his hair, tugging at the strands. Her head thrown back, praying to the sky in needy little whines. 

“Oh baby,” he marveled at the wetness smeared across her skin; a graze of his fingertips making her buck into his hand. “So wet for me.” He swiped over the sensitive bud, ripping a pitiful sound from her lips that sparked at his spine, tugged at his balls. 

“Please - Javi. I-” 

“What baby?” He cooed, “Want me to take care of you?” She bobbed her head eagerly, hips rolling on reflex. “Then lay on the bed.” 

She scrambled onto the bed, grabbing a pillow to support her back as his knees collided on the rug, yanking her by the hips to the edge. He caught a whiff of her musky scent and growled. 

Propped up on her forearms, she watched in awe as Javier spread her open, gaping at her shiny folds and swollen pussy on full display. 

“Look at you,” he wet his lips then smeared it across her thighs. Her breath caught in her throat at the wet slide of his tongue tracing where she desperately craved him most.

Teasing her was one of his favorite hobbies and searching for a smidge of relief to the heat in her belly, she palmed at her breasts, nipples pinched between her thumb and forefinger. 

Javier hummed in approval and leaned in, catching her off guard with a swift swipe over her soaked seam; a taste tantalizing as it bloomed on the tip of his tongue. An urge to devour her clawed at his senses; to plunge his tongue inside her and torture her with the tip of his nose until she was screaming. 

But – mindful of her newfound sensitivity, he explored with slow and steady strokes that had her soaking his tongue. 

“So good." He sounded drunk, lapping at her dripping entrance and up to suck her clit between his lips. The ever so light graze of teeth over the swollen bud had her crying out his name in ecstasy. Clawing at the comforter and finding ground in his hair; each tug and pull and delicious scratch of her nails along his scalp sent him spiraling in coils of pleasure that made him rut into the side of the mattress like some depraved hound. 

It reminded him of that addicting moment when he finally gave into desire and touched her – tasted her like he’d dreamed of. He’d never felt anything like it. The pleasure was so sharp; so precise. Never a sound so sweet as his name on her lips in the crest of the release he built. 

He’d been overwhelmed by it, hand wrapping around his cock until he came with his tongue buried inside her. 

The effect she had on him was unexplainable, a wild drive of insane want. Insatiable, he could spend every day right here and it still somehow would never be enough. 

She whined in protest when his mouth retreated to her thighs, seeking him out and earning a quick tsk of his tongue and nip to her thigh. 

“I got you,” he assured with a taunting undertone as two thick fingers sunk into her, walls drenched and clenching around him. “Already so close,” he commented, cocky as if he wasn’t on the edge of finishing in his pants. 

A crook of his fingers hit that spot that made her thighs tremble and breath waver.

"You wanna come?” He asked, dragging his fingers in and out, the obscene squelch torture to his constrained cock but this wasn’t about him. It was all about her and the swipe of his thumb over her clit made her gasp and body bow forward in pleasure.

“Please,” she cried out, “Oh, please Javi - please.” 

“Look at me.” Her eyes fluttered open at his demand, wild and ravishingly desperate, matching his own. “You’re gonna watch,” he emphasized with a soft stroke directly to her bud and her head fell into a broken nod, mouth wide open and panting. 

“Been thinkin’ of this pussy all day.” He glanced away from her blissed out face, just for a moment to watch her greedy hole suck his fingers in, the thick digits coated in slick, glistening in the sun as they reemerged. “About my pretty wife, all fucked out.” 

Unable to speak, she could only whimper in response; white hot pleasure spreading through her veins, down to her toes and fingertips, prickling the hairs on her scalp. 

“Fucked myself in the shower,” he admitted and her body twisted, moaning as her pussy eagerly welcome a third into her. “Thinking of you but fuck - nothing compares. No one compares.” 

He spit on her clit, possessively and swirled it around with his thumb until his name was strung together, intertwined in a babbling mess. 

“Come on, baby. Yeah, I can feel it,” he moved faster, primal. Eyes black and watching himself drive into her cunt. “You’re gonna soak me aren’t you? Fuck I want you too. Come on baby, come on - claim me - fuck. Yeah - claim me.” 

Javier moaned in unison with her, mouth open in awe as she gushed around his fingers, rubbing at her clit relentlessly. She shuddered in the aftershock. 

“Javi,” she whined, making him slow to a steady halt, murmuring sweet praise between cleaning her thighs, sucking it off his fingers – a rare delicacy. Moments away from mouthing at the mess on the sheets, she called out to him. 

He looked ravenous, lips and chin shiny and shirt completely ruined. Climbing on top of her he crushed his lips against hers, smothering her in her own release – drawing it across her lips, tongue and mouth. His painful bulge pressed into the softness of her thigh, grinding unconsciously into it. 

“Javi,” she spoke into his mouth and he groaned at the sweetness of the sound, how it echoed in the cavern of his mouth. With all the blood rushing to his cock, brain fizzled out all he could hear was the roar of his heartbeat, feel the static as it built at the base of his spine. 

She called his name again and again until finally it sliced through his mushy brain and he halted. Every muscle in his body rigid and on the verge of snapping. His breathing heavy with shame, head buried in the crevice of her neck to hide the burn of it on his cheeks. 

He panted his apology, shaking his head. His cock was throbbing painfully against his zipper, denim sticky and incredibly uncomfortable. 

“No - no,” she rushed out, combing down the sweaty strands of hair at the base of his neck with one hand and catching him off guard as the other cupped his erection. The cords of his neck went taut and strained, breath catching on something in his lungs.

He dropped his sweaty forehead to her shoulder and tried to speak but the words died off into a whimper as his hips moved on their own freewill.

“Do you wanna cum like this?” The hush of breath over the shell of his ear built at the fire inside him. “Or in my pussy?” 

“Oh fuck.” He gasped. “I won’t - I won’t last. I’m so close.” His voice broke on the words, vulnerable and raw. 

She shushed him softly. “That’s okay, let me take care of you. Lay down - your poor knees. Come on, baby.” She was right, his knees ached at the mere mention; the edge of pain drowned out by searing arousal. 

Surrendering, Javier rolled over, feet thunking flat on the floor and knees bent. The comforter felt heavenly on his back. 

In the light, he could see the stain along his zipper where blue turned black. Working in tandem, jeans inching down his calves and rucking up his shirt, she burrowed into his side, nuzzled into his neck. A perfect fit. 

His cock laid heavy on his tummy, head nearly purple and leaking onto his brazen skin, cooling it. He draped his arm around her, grasping at her hip as the other clenched into a fist at his side.

The first stroke along his swollen and slicked up cock made his back arch off the bed. Each one after drawn out, featherlight from base to tip; thumb sweeping over the pearly beads and tracing them along the thick vein of his cock. 

It was so different from his hard, means to an end touch earlier; all honeyed hands, tender caresses. The praise she whispered for only him was too much. Too dizzying. He squeezed his eyes shut and thrusted into the ring of her grip. Her name dripping like nectar from his lips. 

“Go on, Javi. Take it. It’s yours.” 

Javier wasn’t an innately possessive man but hearing her say that, his mind went absolutely blank. Bucking up, headboard clapping against the wall from the force of it. His thrusts were sloppy; unhinged and desperate.

When her lips dipped to the curve of his neck and sucked softly at the sensitive skin, it left him groaning and shuddering with pleasure. Her grip tightened, pumping him in unison and for a moment he couldn’t breathe; there was no oxygen that high up. 

“Come on, Javi,” she whispered, feeling his cock pulse in her palm, dangling right at the edge. “Cum for me.” The force of his orgasm took his breath away, white-hot and blinding. His hips jerked, body trembled, riding the waves of ecstasy. 

Her lips tangled with his in a languid kiss, bringing the air back into his lungs. He groaned when she broke away, licking her hand then his hips clean. The wet slide of her tongue had him shuddering with racks of residual pleasure. 

Cognitive functioning slowly returning, Javier brought her face between his hands before she could wander too far and kissed her lips, “You’re so beautiful, so amazing. I love you so much." he kissed her nose and forehead, wiping away the overwhelming tears on her cheeks with a tender stroke of his thumb.

“I love you too.” Her hand covered his, placing a kiss to his wrist then palm. She caught a glance at the clock on the nightstand and sighed, pulling out of the embrace and to her feet. “But, we gotta go.” 

Javier groaned, flopped back on the bed and draped his arms over his eyes. He heard the rummaging of clothes, somewhere in the closet. 

“Javi, are you up?” 

“I’m basically ready,” he murmured, still recovering from the mind-blowing orgasm. 

She scoffed, looking him up and down while pulling on a pair of leggings. “You gonna wear that?” She chuckled at his current state, jeans pooled at his ankles and shirt stained in a mix of both him and her. 

He propped himself up on his forearms and glanced down, shrugging. “Maybe. If you wear just that.” He wiggled his brows at her bare chest and she couldn’t help but smile, even as she threw off the comment with a dismissive wave. 

“You’re impossible, now come on. We’re gonna be late.” 

---

The housing market had hit that typical lull around the holiday’s which Javier understood. Who wanted to bother selling and moving during the busy season? However, it put the search on quite a time crunch. 24 weeks. 

At most. 

Neither him nor her wanted to settle for anything less than ideal, but seven houses later and each one earning her indifferent hum, she was slumped in the passenger seat; dejected. The only positive seemed to be a promising realtor at the fourth house who had given her their card and just so happened to have a house down the street coming on the market in the coming days. Driving past it, it looked perfect but had one problem – it was only three bedrooms. 

“Do we really need four bedrooms?” Javier asked, glancing over his shoulder while switching lanes. “I mean - it’s just us and then…them.” 

Her head did this little teeter from side to side, “Well….yeah,” she drew out the last word and Javier knew what that meant: someone had an idea. He looked over the rim of his aviators and she breathed out through her nostrils, stirring in the seat to face him. 

“I’ve been doing some thinking,” she said and Javier hummed at the very obvious statement. “And well, I - I just thought it’d be nice for your dad to have a place.” 

Warmth spread across his chest at her admittance. The fact that she’d thought of that, thought of his father and planned for him in the future, his eyes went glossy – hidden by the colored lenses of his sunglasses. 

He’d never felt so lucky; so appreciative of her. 

Lost in the moment, speechless by it; she continued on. “Ya know, with them coming it might be hard to get away for a weekend and with Danny starting to help out, the place will be his one day and all, I thought he could come and stay for even like a couple weeks or something.” 

Javier cleared his throat, “Baby, that’s - yeah - he’ll love that. He’d love that.” 

Her hand found his, fingers intertwined and Javier would never know what he’d done to deserve this. 

A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long, I hit a small roadblock on configuring the chapter so thank you for the patience!

[teataglia]

𝐁𝐨𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬

pairing: pantalone x f!reader

warnings: mentions of eating, slightly suggestive a bit at the end (literally the last line), nothing else

wc: 3k

tea’s note: this is part one of a request from @stygianoir (welcome back btw) part two will be nsfw ;)

Part II (NSFW)

Pantalone has been trying to express his affection and very obvious crush on you for a while. He’s tried complimenting you, giving you little gifts, holding doors open for you, etc. but you’ve never picked up on his advances. He hoped that it wasn’t because you disliked him, and that instead that he wasn’t making his feelings obvious enough for you.

One night, Pantalone paces back and forth across the wide expanse of his living room, completely alone and lost in thought. With his brows furrowed and his fingers interlaced, he contemplates his feelings for you. Pantalone truly believes he loves you. Ever since he first laid eyes on you, he knew he wanted you as his wife. And the first time you spoke to him just solidified his desire. Ever since then, he’s been trying to configure a way to get you to recognize him.

He’s tried asking Tartaglia, Arlecchino, and Dottore about what he should do, but they all give him different, equally unique tips. Tartaglia suggests showing off how good Pantalone is with children and flexing his wealth. Tartaglia reasons that these displays would prove how much of a stable partner Pantalone would be and how he is seeking something long-term.

Arlecchino scoffs whenever Pantalone brings up his feelings. But she is also surprised that he has such strong feelings about a person for being such a heartless businessman. She recommends listening to you. Like really listening and noting the things that you like or find important, and then finding a way to subtly bring them up in later conversations. She explains that this shows that what you say matters to him.

Dottore is unfamiliar with the concept of human emotion and caring, so he struggles to even comprehend the desire to please another person. He gravitates towards gift giving, more specifically making something from scratch.

Pantalone took all of these into account. He decided a special date for when he would ask you out. He enlists his comrades’ help and they deliver. He plans an extravagant dinner, and if this doesn’t convey a clear message, he doesn’t know what will. He rents out a private room at a high end Snezhnayan restaurant with an excellent view. The dinner will be for two, just you and him. Pantalone extends the offer to you a week in advance. He’s a very prepared man, afterall. When you accept, his heart leaps out of his chest.

The entire week leading up to the dinner, Pantalone lays awake at night going over every excruciating detail of the plan. He tortures himself over every element of the reservation, waking up each morning double and triple checking that he reserved the right table at the time at the right restaurant. He didn’t dare allow his sleepless evenings to affect his business performance, but the fellow Harbingers understood just how distressed Pantalone was. Of course, being the most powerful people in Snezhnaya, they didn’t offer any consolation. It would only be insulting.

The night of the reservation rolls around too quickly but also not fast enough. When Pantalone arrives at the restaurant, the room is set up exactly as he imagined it. It’s perfect. Candles line the walls and create an intimate atmosphere. He sits and drums his fingers on the table anxiously. He’s half an hour early and antsy. The second hand on his watch ticks away, every moment drawing you closer to the dinner. He stands. He shouldn’t have gotten there so early, now all he can do is sit and wait. A splash of water on his face will freshen him right up he decides. He trudges to the bathroom and runs the faucet. His glasses dangle from around the back of his neck and he cups his hands under the water. A bathroom stall door slams shut and he flinches. Archons, he hasn’t been this nervous in ages. He splashes the water over his face and it drips into the sink. He looks at the mirror. The water isn’t helping and neither is his disheveled reflection that stares back at him. He dries his hands and sighs.

There’s nothing to worry about, he tells himself. The worst thing that can happen is that she will say no… But what if she does?

His anxious thoughts eat away at the last shred of his calm and he makes his way back to the table. Upon arriving, he spots someone at the table. Your back is to him, but he would recognize you anywhere. His nerves flare even more and he wrings his hands together. But he knows himself, and when the time comes when he’s face to face with a challenge, his will resolves.

Pantalone clears his throat. “Good evening, my dear.”

You startle and then turn to face him, blushing. He’s the only one you know who always manages to pull off a giant puffy coat. “Good evening, Regrator.”

He grabs your hand in his gloved one and bows down to kiss your knuckles. “You’re looking ravishing as always. I’m so glad you could make it tonight. There’s something very important I have to tell you.”

“Alright, you’ve caught my attention. But first, let’s eat,” you smile kindly and gesture to the seat across from you.

“Of course, we can’t have pretty ladies like you going hungry,” Pantalone takes his seat and the food is served. You blink. Did Pantalone just compliment you?

You feast and the food is delicious. You would expect nothing less from such an esteemed restaurant that even Pantalone would dine at. As you eat, you discuss the happenings in Snezhnaya. Pantalone would never disclose anything top secret, but he is very knowledgeable of current events especially when it comes to financial news. He’s well-informed about all trade relations and what each nations’ specialized goods are.

When the conversation shifts to a more personal level, you notice that he is an attentive listener. The intensity of his focus makes you wonder if he’ll pull out a pen and paper and start taking notes. But you can’t help but feel the same when he starts talking about himself. He tells you about his childhood, growing up in the cold, unforgiving slums of Snezhnaya and how he clawed his way through the ranks of the Fatui to finally be chosen by the Tsaritsa.

Hearing this, you understand how he could have possibly accrued so much wealth and managed to retain it. Social mobility anywhere is difficult, but in Snezhnaya it is near impossible. The harsh climate forces more resources to be spent on habitable infrastructure and suitable clothing. A popular Snezhnayan saying goes: you either buy a fur coat or make one yourself. Implying that regardless of everything, everyone needs a fur coat if they are to survive.

Joining the Fatui is the only option that offers an up and an out. But this option does not come without sacrifice and risk. The Fatui as an institution is designed to weed out the weaklings, chewing up and spitting out whoever is not deemed worthy or strong enough. The payment for joining the Fatui is your life and oftentimes joining the Fatui is riskier than remaining whatever you are born into.

You realize that in order to make it out of the slums, Pantalone must have been born with not only naturally sharp survival instincts, but an indomitable will. He is infamous throughout the Fatui ranks for being ambitious, but no one who’s met him would ever dare doubt his capability. You also suspect that Pantalone has never been so open with anyone and you make a promise with yourself to cherish this information and never share it.

After the desserts are eaten, he takes you on a walk. The sun has set and you stroll around the town square. A thin layer of snow coats the ground and keeps falling, each flake glittering in the light of the streetlamps. The air is thin due to the altitude and when you exhale your breath clouds in front of you. As you walk, you sense Pantalone’s eyes on you. You look up at him, meeting his gaze for a second before you have to turn away. His eyes bore into yours, and you know he doesn’t mean to come across as intimidating but when you’re the Ninth of the Fatui Harbinger it can be hard not to. You suppress a shiver. You’re not sure whether Pantalone caused it or the cold and you pray that he doesn’t notice.

You should have known better, because of course he does.

“Come. This way, darling. I know a tavern nearby where we can seek shelter.” Pantalone takes your hand in his and guides you in another direction. “It’s not far.”

He was right. After ducking off the main street and following a winding alley, you spot a soft light emanating from the end. The glow of warm light grows brighter as you get closer. The din from inside carries through the street, beckoning you to enter. Pantalone opens the door and steps back to let you in first. You thank him and the comforting atmosphere envelops you. The cold that clung to your jacket melts off immediately.

As soon as you walk in, all eyes fall on you. The tavern is filled with men, specifically middle ranked Fatui soldiers. You feel self conscious, even though you figure most of them are staring at their superior.

Pantalone leans down. “You can stay here if you’re not comfortable, I’ll be right back,” he whispers against your ear. Though the gesture had no ulterior motive, the sheer proximity sends a shiver down your spine. You blink up at him and shake your head.

“I’ll follow you,” you hook your arm through his. You’re never this forward, and you can tell you surprised him by his eyebrows raising slightly. You regret your impulsive action and feel badly about potentially putting him in an awkward situation. But Pantalone covers his shock with his usual placating smile and moves you towards the bar. You think you feel his arm tighten imperceptibly around yours but it could also just be your nerves.

“I’ll take Fire-Water, and a hot chocolate for the lady,” Pantalone requests, placing his hand on the small of your back. In his and everyone else in the tavern’s eyes, this action signals possession. In your eyes, it’s simply a gesture indicating that you are the lady that wants hot chocolate.

“Actually, I’ll also take Fire-Water, thanks,” you chime in. Your voice almost getting lost among the various drunk conversations and clinking of glasses.

Pantalone hears you, though, and looks at you curiously before turning to the bartender. “Make that two Fire-Waters.” He faces you again. “My, my, you’re full of surprises tonight. If I’m remembering correctly, I thought you liked hot chocolate?”

“I love it. But I can’t let you have all the fun,” you shoulder him playfully. You’re feeling bold. Little do you know he is thoroughly enjoying this new side of you. And the fact that he remembered what you like is not lost on you. His attentiveness causes a blush to dust your cheeks but you don’t think he’ll be able to notice in the dim lighting. He does.

The bartender pours your drinks and Pantalone places a large bill on the table.

“Th-that’s far too much, sir! I can’t accept this,” the bartender stutters.

“Keep the change,” Pantalone states and then promptly downs his glass. You are not one to be shown up and follow suit. The Fire-Water burns as it goes down and you try not to let the unpleasant taste affect you. You must have made a funny face, though, because Pantalone chuckles. A resounding cheer echoes throughout the room and you realize that they’re cheering for you.

“Are you ready to keep going?” Pantalone extends his arm out to you expectantly.

You grin, understanding what he wants, and loop your arm around his. “Onwards.”

You step outside and the brisk wind blows against your face. But the alcohol is buzzing in your system, and contact with Pantalone is enough to have warmed you and you’re not as affected by the cold. You don’t know where you’re headed and you let Pantalone lead. You stop at the base of a wooded mountain.

“Think you can make it up? It’s not a hard walk and it shouldn’t take long. There’s something I would like to show you up there, but if you don’t want to I can take you another night.” Pantalone’s voice is gentle and his body is warm. You’re giddy about what he wants to show you, but you also appreciate the amount of patience and understanding he has shown you throughout the night.

“I can make it. I trust your estimations so it shouldn’t be too difficult. Please, lead the way,” you beam at him.

You continue forward, working your way up the mountain. The footing isn’t treacherous and the incline isn’t steep, allowing you to concentrate on what Pantalone is saying.

“I hope you’ve been enjoying tonight. I tried to plan around your interests.” You know that Harbingers rarely second guess themselves, but the expression on his face is nothing short of sheepish.

You can’t help but think about how cute he looks. In fact, the only thing you can think about right now is him. He fills your senses. All you can focus on is the depth of his voice and how his eyes have been trained on you for the past few minutes. His scent mingles with the sharp and refreshing smell of pine and you’re hooked. The point at which your two arms meet exudes enough heat to keep you warm. Maybe the Fire-Water was affecting you a little more than you thought it would.

You realize you haven’t responded to him, and think that he must be confused as to why you’re just staring dumbly at him. “Tonight has been amazing. Thank you for suggesting and planning the whole event.”

“It was my pleasure, my dear.”

You continue walking in silence, basking in the sparse rays of moonlight that shine through the gaps of the trees. The path narrows and you drift behind him, completely lost in thought. Your thoughts begin to wander into dangerous territory. What if these feelings are reciprocated? You’ve always noticed that he’s been kind to you, but you had just chalked that up to him being a generally nice person. But tonight, all signs were pointing to something else. Something more…

You were too busy thinking wishfully that you didn’t notice when Pantalone stops right in front of you. You run directly into him. You were cushioned by his huge jacket, but you did note how hard his back was and how sturdily he was built.

He looks over his shoulder and down at you, flashing you an apologetic smile. “Sorry, darling. I didn’t mean to startle you.” He guides you to a lookoff point. “This is my favorite view in all of Snezhnaya - Teyvat, perhaps.” He steps back to let you soak in the view.

The trees cleared to frame a picturesque view of the Snezhnayan cityscape. You didn’t realize just how big the city was but your vantage point gave some perspective. Groups of houses and a mess of streets sprawled across the landscape. The gently falling snow contrasted the twinkling lights from the city, making the warm glow all the more cozy. You were already slightly out of breath from the trek, but the sight takes the remainder of your breath away.

“It’s beautiful. How did you even manage to find this in the first place?” your voice comes out slightly above a whisper. The awe plus the high altitude subdues you.

“I used to hunt on this mountain. Excellent game on the Eastern slopes,” from behind you Pantalone points to a specific hill, leaning against you. His warm breath fans across the side of your cheek. You’re not used to being this close to someone, but you like it with him. “I don’t often get a chance to come here. I’m glad I could share it with you.”

“Truly thank you for showing me,” you’re suddenly overcome with shyness. And while it’s difficult to rip your eyes away from the view, the sight of Pantalone makes it all worth it. His cheeks are tinted pink, most likely from the cold, and his lips are slightly parted. He stares down at you intently. His eyebrows knit together just slightly, you wouldn’t have noticed if you weren’t standing so close to him. A shimmer of doubt crosses his eyes, but what he could possibly be unsure about you have no idea. He seems to have everything he could ever want.

“I’m afraid I haven’t been completely truthful with you,” Pantalone’s tone turns serious, “about why I brought you here.”

You stare at Pantalone for a beat, allowing his words to fully sink in. “I’m sorry, am I missing something?”

“My dear, you’ve been missing things for a while now.” Pantalone laughs wryly. “I’ve been dropping hints all this time. But, of course, it’s not your fault for not realizing.”

Your pulse quickens and you can feel the beat of your heart reverberate deep within you. Could it really be? Could your crush actually like you back? “I’m not sure I follow.”

“I like you. I’ve always liked you. Since the moment I saw you.” Pantalone grips your chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing you to meet his gaze. “Are you following me now?”

He continues staring at you, and with the other hand he brushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear. The butterflies in your stomach flutter harder. Maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe you’re just so relieved that Pantalone actually returns your feelings but you’re seized with courage. You grab the lapels of his coat and bring him down to your level.

“Not quite yet. I think you need to be a little clearer,” you grin.

Pantalone steals your lips in a searing kiss. The passion he exudes is that of a man who’s been deprived of that which he has most desired for decades. His hands grasp your hips, pulling you away from him.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do that. Come on, let’s get off this mountain. I have another special, more intimate view I’d like to see.”

taglist: @simp-lauren

© da1ryqveen 2022, all rights reserved. do not plagiarize, copy, translate, repost my content on any platform. 

[inventors-fair]

The Finality Countdown Runners Up!!

Beguiling Liferotter by @reaperfromtheabyss

A colorless-requiring creature with a colored activated ability feels off to me, since colorless is the harder one to get. Colorless activated abilities on colored creatures makes sense for a green deck that “splashes” colorless, but this implies more of a colorless deck splashing green which is much odder. There’s no particular reason this effect needs to be eldrazi, but it certainly works that way; im just not sure about this particular configuration of costs, cause at the point where the base cost is colorless I’d rather it just all be, ya know?

Dross Revivalist by @just--a--penguin

This is interesting. It definitely feels most at home in a set that has a mechanic specifically using finality counters to get enough volume, though I’d generally expect it to have that mechanic itself. I kinda like this card not having it though, for some reason. And the higher toxic value than toxic 1 was definitely a good choice, since the things you’re reanimating might be big enough that they’ll kill with life before poison gets a chance.

Cinderscale Dragon by @bergdg

I like the upgrade this gets when it has a finality counter. It lets you take the “dies and comes back stronger” thing of undying to the extreme. I do think this is a bit too strong though, but with a slight adjustment to the numbers I love it. Great use of a finality counters.

[dyrewrites]

Pale Blood -- welcome to the aquarium

Open and drooling, with twinkling strings of light and thin rivulets of shimmering blue water—it was not a real colossal clam, but similar enough to the gaping maw it was meant to convey—the building’s wide circular door and glowing elevator pad welcomed them into the lower lower Mer District.

Regarding the fun emphasis on lower, the official term—coined by some ancient fang who insisted she’d been around when the discs were erected—was ‘Subterranean’ but Upper Dolor stood thousands of miles straight off the ground...so it was a stupid name that everyone chose to ignore.

As the elevator descended—so smooth, so quiet, one could hardly tell they had moved at all—they were greeted by cooler air, salty-sweet perfume, lights that veered ever-more toward a deep, dark cyan and...glass. Thick panes of glass, everywhere, on everything; it glistened in the mists of the ever-flowing falls that poured down the tunnels of the clam’s throat—again, not a real clam—and forced every step they took to splash more water along its already wet, dripping surface.

A surface too tall for the space allotted, the space defined by the skycab trip to it, too stretched and sunk and altogether big to be floating above the smog they left behind. Yet it stretched all the same, the tunnels wide enough to accommodate as many as five ogres shoulder to shoulder, tall enough that they could stack just as high. It made no sense, logically, mechanically—spatially.

And yet it was.

Coupled with the confusion of its size—and where all that water went, as it never rose above the inches they walked in—came the distinct lack of other bodies wandering it, or curves in its halls, or any visual guide for where to go or what things were.

But none of that was what worried the only one of them who had never been down there before, oh no, what stuttered Den’s steps and bent him over in a terrified shuffle...were the shadows.

Colossal shadows of undersea creatures slithered and bumped on the other side of the glass; left, right and below. Above offered bright blue-green lights swirling and blinking in various configurations, none of which Den recognized and so he did not care—he should have, as those were the signs which expressed the where and the what.

The shadows he recognized though and, as they edged closer to the glass, to the light, and he spied the gargantuan eyes and shimmering black scales he whimpered, “Th, those aren’t...real, right?”

“Mer need some of the sea around or they get screwy,” Odea said, as if that explained anything.

“And that includes leviathans?” He had not stopped moving, but he did delight in the squeak as he latched onto Delmas.

“They can’t touch you,” the squeak assured, “but yeah, they’re real,” the grip on his side tightened and he chuckled, “I mean it, they can’t hurt no one,” to demonstrate, Delmas walked up to one of the walls—losing Den in the process—and knocked on it. Without a sound he knocked, and knocked again before returning to Den, welcoming him back to his side, “Ain’t just glass.”

That helped, ever so little, but it helped and Den breathed.

Odea screamed, wordless and fuming, from much further down the hall than she had been last either of them bothered to notice her.

So, eyes yet glued to the shadows, Den chased quicker steps and tried to keep up with the safe arms that led him.

[crankycorvid]

Scrapped splash art from Taka Taka's setting page. Had to remove it to make room for the key configurations menu. Tragic.

[nvoc]

Hi! Could I ask about your most recent mods? I’m the most interested in improving graphics/visuals, so, ENB, forests(!), animals, etc.

Hello!!

My modwatch modlist has all the current stuff that's in my game, tho it can be a bit confusing to read if you're new to the site since the modlist tab is read from bottom to top.

I'll link some (cough, a lot of) mods (for SE) under the cut that i'm using/have used in the past to get you started. Super long post ahead lmao sorry

Some things aren't linked since i think i've hit the character limit 😶 tho they will be the mod name so you can easily search them up.

Videos/YouTube channels that have helped me build my list

Credo's video - modlist showcase, describes what mods are being used and why, plus links in the video description. Helped me tremendously when I got back into modding.

Mern's video - graphics overhaul showcase. There are also other brilliant modding guides on their channel.

SoftGaming - mod showcases. I sometimes find minor retextures and stuff from them + a new beginner's guide to modding.

& so many of those graphic comparison videos e.g hodilton, Fabricio Siqueira, etc.

Weather Mods & ENB presets

Cathedral Weathers & Rudy ENB

Obsidian Weathers & Rudy ENB (a good ol classic)

NAT.ENB III (has its own weather mod alongside its ENB)

NAT.ENB III Weather Plugin & PI-CHO ENB (current) -

Splashes of Storms

Moons and Stars - Sky Overhaul SKSE

8K Night Skies by Cathedral Concept or Skyrim Textures Redone - Stars (current)

AURORA SE

Rainbows SE

Shooting Stars SE

Volumetric Mists or Mists of Tamriel (current)

Obsidian Mountain Fogs

Better Dynamic Snow + No snow under the roof *OR* Simplicity of Snow (latter is more compatible with other mods)

Lighting

Lux & Lux Via - in Lux Via, **you need either the main mod or the the resource pack for Lux to work.** The main mod includes assets on Skyrim roads to make it a bit more lively; such as signposts, lampposts, small structures/statues, bridges, etc. iiimmerrrsionnn

Lux Orbis - exterior version of Lux

EVLAS - better volumetric lighting -

Embers XD and/or Inferno - fire overhaul

Smoking Torches and Candles

Torches Cast Shadows

ENB Lights

ENB Light

Rudy HQ

RemmyKun

Graphics Base

Static Mesh Improvement Mod - must have -

Base: Skyland AIO or Skyrim 202X - i use these as a base then overwrite them with other texture mods.

Landscapes: Vivid Landscapes or Skyland or Tamrielic Textures or MystiriousDawn’s Parallax textures (can also be used w/o parallax)

Architecture: True Nordic Farmhouses or Noble Skyrim (current),

There are so many retexture mods out there so feel free to search around for something you may like.

Fluffy Snow - there are probably better snow retextures out there but i've stuck with this for a long time.

Vivid Landscapes' Complex Parallax Occlusion Snow is another option if you use parallax.

Majestic Mountains (Main version)

Water for ENB (Shades of Skyrim)

Northern Shores - can overwrite Tamrielic Textures if you prefer these beach textures

GKB Waves Reborn

Just Ice

Caves HQ

City Retextures

HQ Solitude

Extravagant Interiors - Solitude

Boreal Whiterun

The Streets of Whiterun - replaces the stonework floor in & out of Whiterun.

Skyland - Markarth

WiZkiD Riften & Ratway

Spice of Life - Orc Strongholds

Classic HD Reworked Whiterun Walls - I wasn't a fan of the ones that came with Boreal Whiterun so i'm using these.

Be sure to also use BethINI to configure your Skyrim settings more-in depth - helps with fps A LOT especially with heavy foliage mods. Video guides here (5min) & here (10min).

Grass

Cathedral Landscapes (performance friendly)

Folkvangr, or Veydosebrom Regions, or Origins of Forest - these are very heavy grass mods. say goodbye to ur frames.

I personally use both Folkvangr and Origins of Forest together - a patch is here to make them work well together.

Folkvangr summer tundra (to pair well with Whiterun forest mods) -

ENB Grass Collisions & ENB Complex Grass & Windy Grass

Trees

The Great Forest of Whiterun Hold - adds a dense forest in the Whiterun tundra region. not super lore friendly but gahdamn! I'm in Whiterun a lot & I like trees sooo yeah. Expect frame drops lol

Whiterun Forest Borealis - a more lightweight version of GFoWH. -

Happy Little Trees (performance friendly and looks good)

Nature of the Wild Lands - really nice mod, makes the forests more dense since it adds forest debris like fallen logs/rocks and stuff. I think it adds extra trees as well, can't remember. Optionally comes with its own grass mod & terrain textures.

Or if you only want the forest debris of NotWL (main mod required)

Blubbo's Trees - pick & choose. really nice selection of tree replacers.

Veydogolt Trees + extra trees (current) - the extra addon adds hand-placed trees all over Skyrim. **If this mod is causing crashes with DynDOLOD, check the "Bugs" tab > "Trees causing a crash with Dyndolod" for a potential fix**

Aspens Ablaze (current) - replaces the trees around the Rift

Blubbo's Trees for the Reach + cliff trees - trees around the Reach region, rly nice 10/10 -

Blubbo's city tree addons: Whiterun, Riften & Markarth. - I haven't used the Riften ones but the other two i'm currently using.

Trees inside Solitude

Veydogolt Whiterun Trees - another alternative for trees inside Whiterun - meant to pair with Veydogolt.

Tree mods comparison video guide

Other foliage/landscape mods

Immersive Fallen Trees

Skyrim 3D Rocks

Mari's Flora

Waterplants + animated

Cathedral 3D plants

Aminals and creachures :)

Fluffworks + Domestic Goat with Bell

Chickens + more variants

Wolves of Skyrim

Skyrim Horses Renewal

Butterfly Improved

Beehives

Real Rabbits HD

GoT Dragons

Creatures by Kajuan

Misc retextures/ers

Pfuscher

ElSopa

johnskyrim

Rallyeator

TheBlenderAnimator

Hanaiss

SDlutz

Yurii -

Daedric Shrines AIO by Mandragorasprouts & their other statue overhauls

RUGNAROK & PELTPALOOZA - retextures rugs & animal pelts

Rustic Furniture & Rustic Windows

Noble Furniture

KD - Realistic Fireplaces

WiZkiD Signs

Book Covers Skyrim

+ so many niche stuff to retexture. just scour the nexus to find stuff you might want

World Overhauls

Blended Roads & Skyrim Better Roads

or Northern Roads (current) - this is a newer mod and it is a compatibility nightmare (if you have other big mods), but otherwise I highly recommend this since it also adds structures/bridges onto the roads like how Lux Via does. Check the mod description for more links.

Northern Roads retexture

Enhanced Landscapes - adds ruin-like structures all over Skyrim. exploring is fun 🤓

Town Overhauls

make sure you get the patch collections for these mods (and for the other mods listed before) lmao.

JK's Skyrim & JK's Interiors - highly recommended since it adds more to the cities & interiors. No AIO version for interiors at the moment, so feel free to pick & choose what interiors you want (i recommend all of them ;-))

Cities of the North - can be annoying to patch but adds more to the smaller towns: Dawnstar, Falkreath, Morthal & Winterhold.

Fortified Whiterun

Riften Docks Overhaul

Palaces and Castles Enhanced - ok this is a major pain in the ass to patch but it overhauls the interiors of the palaces/castles and it looks so good (for some reason i'm getting major frame drops in the Blue Palace and i can't be arsed to fix it). Pairs well with JK's interiors & it also looks super nice with the Extravagant Interiors retexture.

Ryn's Farms - all-in-one overhaul of all the major farms in Skyrim. Super cool thumbs up emoji

Ryn's Standing Stones - aio overhaul of all the standing stones in Skyrim. super cool thumbs up emoji

Ryn's dungeon exterior overhauls - i haven't personally used them yet since i don't wanna redo my modlist with patches, but these i've heard have been really good & may make the game a bit harder (as said on the mod description).

Ryn's Whiterun City Limits - overhauls outside Whiterun + adds more stuff. New mod, annoying to patch, I haven't fully used it yet but may do in the future.

JK's Whiterun Outskirts - another overhaul to outside Whiterun like Ryn's. Very new mod, annoying to patch. Can work with Ryn's Whiterun with patches tho the patches are still being worked on. **Also there is no patch for this to use with The Great Forest of Whiterun Hold so you may have to pickup on how to make your own patches with CreationKit or use the "disable" command on your current save to remove trees. or just don't use this or the other mod entirely.**

you'r'erere welcome and i hope this helps. have fun xoxox

[lonestarbattleship]

February 4, 2024 Update from the Battleship Texas Foundation

"Battleship Texas just after sunset.

DRY DOCK TOURS

Tours in February are SOLD OUT. We will announce if new dates become available.

A Dry Dock Tour just for our volunteers and their friends and families!

A quality control check was conducted on January 30th, 2024. Leaks were expected and the team has successfully located them. Work will continue to ensure that Battleship Texas is leak free.

Above the boot top (above the black band) the ship has been painted Navy Blue 5-N. This color was matched from existing examples found aboard (both internally and externally) the vessel.

Battleship Texas with a new paint job on the hull. The rest of the ship will be blasted, repaired, and painted at a later date.

The ship was painted in the Measure 21 camouflage scheme prior to deploying to the Pacific Theater during World War II. At this time Battleship Texas is the ONLY museum ship painted in this camouflage scheme and only one of two battleships in their WWII measure.

The ship’s hull has been coated with PPG SIGMASHIELD 880 GF. Historically the ship would be coated with an anti-fouling coat that is red in color, but that coating is no longer needed as the ship is not in service.

The new hull numbers have been extensively researched so each number is not only the correct font, but applied in the appropriate position as it was in 1945. The numbers have been applied to both bow and stern.

Yes, the rest of the ship will receive a new coat of paint once repairs conclude at a later date.

Work continues on and in the ship’s aft fire control tower.

Looking forward from aft fire control.

Looking aft from main battery control in the ship’s aft fire control.

Looking to the starboard side from secondary battery control in the ship’s aft fire control.

Looking to port while in the second battery control in the ship’s aft fire control tower.

Mullions have been installed in secondary battery control level within aft fire control for preparation of the windows needed to present the ship to its 1945 configuration.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

WHAT’S NEXT? - Battleship Texas will remain at Gulf Copper Shipyard for the time being. Additional steel work, removal and replacement of the ship’s deck, and superstructure/aft fire control restoration will continue.

SPLASH! - The ship will be put back into the water in mid to late February 2024.

KEEL BLOCKS - Yes, the keel blocks supporting Battleship Texas can be moved. Each block is moved so the area atop of them can be blasted, repaired (if need be), and coated.

WHAT ABOUT THE RUDDER? - The rudder will remain where it is. Funding is best spent elsewhere.

WILL THE SHIP RUN AGAIN? - No, the ship will never be able to run under its own power again.

TOURING? - The Battleship Texas Foundation is working on new touring opportunities before the ship reopens.

REOPENING? - There is a lot to be done before the ship is ready for touring at its new home in Galveston, Texas. Reopening is projected to happen sometime in 2025 or 2026.

Live, Laugh, And Flood your Torpedo Blisters.

To donate to the preservation and operation of Battleship Texas, please visit: https://battleshiptexas.org/

Support Battleship Texas by making a purchase through the ship's store: https://store.battleshiptexas.org"

Posted on the Battleship Texas Foundation Facebook page: link

[kahuna-burger]

Sorry I couldn't finish this in the event window, but I will keep plugging on it and put it on AO3 eventually.

Oh Oh Those Summer Nights

Warnings : None

Pairing : Hydra husbands (of course)

Characters : Brock Rumlow, Jack Rollins, Jasper Sitwell, Phil Coulson, mostly unnamed STRIKE team OCs

Other tags : Pre canon, mild identity porn, under cover operations, SHIELD compartmentalizing like crazy, implied homophobia, possible internalized homophobia, epistolary (email), unreliable narrator due to epistolary and homophobia

Summary : Tell Email me more! Tell Email me more!

Chapter 1 : Happened So Fast https://www.tumblr.com/kahuna-burger/727100817162797056/

Chapter 2 : Had me a blast https://www.tumblr.com/kahuna-burger/727218990297055232/

Chapter 3 : Met a girl, cute as can be https://www.tumblr.com/kahuna-burger/727405419318984705/

Chapter 4 : Met a girl, crazy for me

https://www.tumblr.com/kahuna-burger/727672322363932672/

Chapter 5 : I showed off, splashing around

To : <shitheads>

From : brumlow@shield.gov

Re : Wishing Coulson would spy on my emails

This entire assignment is bullshit. Sure we don't always get told the "why"s of our missions, but with STRIKE I know what the mission is! I'm supposed to be on surveillance, but who am I surveilling? Just keep an eye on the area. What am I on the lookout for? Oh, just stay alert to your surroundings. What the fuck makes this area even of interest? That's classified! Yeah, that's right, not only am I not looking for anyone or anything specific, I can't even know the most general of reasons to be here. Fuck every compartment of this organization.

*deep breathing exercises from the shrinks* Okay, pissbaby rant over. Dream Customer (henceforth D.C.) has been back a few times now, and the most recent visit she was in the attraction when another customer fucked up. It's an indoor underwater setup, which is your only identifying info and I WILL be checking you fuckers' search histories, so be good. Anyway, some dumb fuck tried to get into an area they obviously shouldn't have and snagged their hoses. Genius, huh? Unfortunately, we aren't allowed to let fuckheads die with the consequences of their actions, so I had to go sort it out before there was an insurance hassle.

But when I got to him, D.C. was there, stopping him from moving and fucking up his gear any more, AND had managed to hold the tube in place temporarily. Fucking rockstar, she saw what I wanted to do with the emergency mask right away and helped get him untangled so I could pull him out easier. Of course, then I was stuck dealing with the asshole and paperwork on him for the rest of the shift, but I am officially fucking head over heels guys, I cannot deal with this level of competence along with looks and a decent personality. 

But of course, since I don't have any idea who the damned people of interest even are on this fucked up op, I can't actually risk asking her out for a drink, because she might end up being someone we move on! So, we're back to fucking SHIELD in all available configurations.

Glad to hear Lee's follow up procedure went well, but only because it brings me one step closer to escaping this mindfuck of an assignment. Get well soon, or else.

***

To : <gamma>

From : jrollins@shield.gov 

Re : wow

Had some excitement at the attraction, which I really do like and am not just stalking Robin. (More excitement than this so called assignment, I'll tell you that.) 

So it's a caving adventure of sorts (I think there's enough of those not to be accidentally identifying) and the crew gears everyone and makes them demonstrate skills before they go in (that's where I usually see Robin, though sometimes they switch roles around.) But someone ahead of me got tangled up and then made it worse panicking.

I pressed the panic button on the gear and was keeping him from flailing while trying to figure out how someone was gonna get him out without injury (it was in a narrow section) when the whole wall opened up and Robin was right there with an emergency kit.

And okay, I already liked her, even though I didn't know how much was the whole public facing persona, but we've moved up to a whole other level now. She just took charge instantly, gave quick clear directions in a really chaotic situation, and had the guy clipped to an emergency line and out of there in literal seconds. Stone cold professional in what was probably the first crisis at the attraction. I gotta ask her out, this is no longer optional.

Oh, and I put down my money on "morlocks/mole men/other underground uprising" in the new pool, cause I figured it wasn't any less likely than alien invasion but I would be one the only ones on it if it won.

-Jack

***

To : brumlow@shield.gov 

From : pcoulson@shield.gov 

Re : Just this once.

Since your clearance increase from being made a STRIKE Commander has gone through, and having no contacts on this mission is clearly more stressful than we anticipated, I am giving you access to the level three briefing.

To summarize, we have reason to believe that this area could be subject to an extra-human instigated attack in the next three months. To avoid panic or excessive non-SHIELD interest, prestaged assets have been infiltrated rather than stationed in a temporary compound, and it has been presented as a surveillance operation to everyone below command level.

You can therefore consider yourself on standby, and do not need to be any more suspicious than your norm of local humans. (Continue to report suspected extra-humans through the normal channels.)

Thank you for your continued professionalism.

-Phil Couson, SHIELD 

Attachment(s) : Area5lvl3

[onebloodsoakedlion]

Things I don't like about The Legend of Zelda - Tears of the Kingdom

While Tears of the Kingdom is a really, REALLY great game, it still has flaws because... well... one can't always be perfect. Or please absolutely everyone. And that's okay.

By the way, this is just my silly little opinion, and while you may agree with some of the things I find fault with, there could be things you think are just fine with this game. Also, spoilers for the game, I guess.

Sage controls are really annoying Basically trying to use the Sages' powers is a pain in the butt. You need to go up to them and press A to activate their powers. Which would be great if not for the fact that they're constantly moving around in battle or there are items on the ground and you just want to pick those up. (I'm looking at YOU, Tulin and Riju!) My idea to fix this would be to have a Sage menu that you can access, either by having it replace the Map or Amiibo in the Ability menu, or have the menu appear when you hold down ↓ on the D-Pad and selecting a Sage will prompt them to lend you their power. However, when you're in the air or riding a vehicle, activating Tulin and Yunobo, respectively, can remain the same just because it's faster. Hell, you could probably use the X button to summon or dismiss Sages from this very menu! However, I will admit that the Sage powers suffer far less from Too Awesome to Use, since their cooldowns are far, far shorter!

WHY IS THE MAP AN L BUTTON ABILITY!?!? A minor one, but it's VERY annoying for me. Why have it as an L Button ability when most of the time, it's probably even faster to access by opening the Purah Pad. This "ability" should be off the wheel and and spot freed for something else. Like calling on the Sages' powers or something new altogether.

The elemental fruits are the only source of their respective buffs, and even then they're far too weak. Fire Fruits, Ice Fruits, Shock Fruits and Splash Fruits seem to be the only way to get meals with Hot Weather Attack, Cold Weather Attack, Stormy Weather Attack and Swim Speed Up respectively. Meaning you can't use meals instead of armour in the case you want to have more defence or a different set bonus. You will never get a Level 3 meal of any of these buffs, and pretty much the only way to even get a Level 2 meal is to get lucky with the Monster Extract. I would personally either add more powerful buff ingredients or just make the elemental fruits themselves stronger when it comes to cooking.

Dream house... more like... nightmare house... kinda... Don't get me wrong, the house you get to build in Tears of the Kingdom is pretty awesome but... COME ON, just 15 rooms!? Nothing to connect them with other than squares and triangles!? Plus, what you see is what you get. There's no ability for a room to be sealed off from the outside by extra walls if you have a room that is partially exposed. Plus, the tiny room limit makes it less viable to use purely aesthetic rooms such as the Study and Gallery. To fix this, I would personally remove the room limit or raise it by... a lot. I'd add more choices for empty rooms, such as hallways, L shapes and more. I'd also have configurable walls so that no room interior is left exposed to the elements or monsters. I'd probably let the player paint them, too. If certain room types really were a larger strain on performance (e.g. equipment stands), I'd have limits on those individual rooms (e.g. you can have up to three Weapon Stand Rooms).

Aaaaaaand that's all I can think of. And that's pretty good, actually. But ToTK is a brilliant game regardless of these flaws. And I love playing it!