#spop humor

[tippenfunkaport]

When I'm just about to relax and take my first sip of coffee for the day but hear an ominous crash from the other room.

[shadowpuppetteer]

I was given the prompt: Glimmer and Bow dancing at her coronation while Lance, George, and Aunt Castaspella discuss wedding plans in the back. Listened to a lot of 80's love ballads while drawing this and had so much fun with the lighting! Wanted to add that touch of romantic magic to the image.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

Bow’s voice cracking was funny the first couple times IMO, but then the writers decided to do it 89+ more times and it stopped being funny

exactly. there was that one interview where nate says that whenever he wanted a scene to feel funnier, he would ask bow's VA to add in a voice crack. which explains why that joke went stale so quickly. you can't keep reusing the same joke or comedic beat whenever your story gets a little boring, that's called ✨ lazy writing ✨

[aprillikesthings]

In honor of me getting through season four in my rewatch of She-Ra, have a collection of "times that a screenshot or caption or the combo, accidentally makes a sex joke when taken out of context," because I'm 44 but mentally sometimes I am 14.

^ngl that one's the whole reason I decided to do this post bc LOOK AT IT LOL

(I mean the entire plot of this episode is Sea Hawk paying someone to tie them up and pretend to kidnap them so uhhh)

[alicelinducha]

I don't give a fuck if you don't ship Catradora, but come on, Glimbow is so much better than Glimadora

and- I'm sorry but- I would rather ship Adora with Huntara than with Glimmer- THEY DON'T HAVE ANY CHEMISTRY GUYS I'M SORRY LMAOKAKAKAKHKKKHAJHAKAKAKAKAKK

[azulina98]

Don’t ask i just find it funny

[nny11writes]

Only One Bed: A Design Choice

For my trick or treater @glitrahasconsumedme, please enjoy this glitra fic I never posted! Happy Halloween! :)

(consider this the probably one full sized candy bar I had on hand and you got it for having the best costume of the night)

“Thanks for letting me crash again, Hordak’s been riding my ass but not paying me for the pleasure so the funds are not so great.”

Glimmer tried to not snort too hard as Catra dramatically flopped about her limited space in the passenger seat. She’d missed this. She’d missed her. By the stars and the moons, she was going to fix this and woo the girl in the process.

She carefully pulled into her driveway and tried to not be too excited. Catra might be jet lagged beyond reason (not that her sleep hygiene was ever great to begin with), but too excited would 100% give up the game. “I’d say fuck him, but don’t.”

Catra giggled a little helplessly while pawing at her bloodshot eyes. “Yeah. No Hordak fucking please.”

The woman she was desperately in love with might have trash humor and been stopped by security after being pegged as being high on drugs delaying them almost five hours, but gods fuck Glimmer had missed her garbage cat.

The ride went smoothly enough and while Catra was struggling to undo her seat belt and open her door, Glimmer grabbed her luggage and started towards the front door only to hear cursing.

“Wait. Where’s my bag? Shit. Fuck! Glimmer I fucking forgot my fucking-” Catra whipped around with wild eyes only to see Glimmer heft the duffle in the air proudly. “You’re laughing. I almost died from a heart attack, and you’re laughing!?”

“Yes!” She cackled, skipping inside her house and graciously ignoring the fond sounding bitch. Nope. No siree, didn’t hear a thing. Maybe you heard something, and if you did, get your ears checked. Be cool Moon, calm down! She was perfectly calm!

Now, she just had to be cool. Real cool. She could practically picture the lightning bolt flying around her non-existent sunglasses cool. Step two of her fool proof plan was a go-go. Glimmer watched as Catra hopped on one foot and crashed into the wall twice while trying to take her shoe off and winced. Step two was soon to be a go-go. “Need some help there?”

“I’m FINE!” Catra growled but did finally get her shoes off and stumble into the living room. “Uhhhh…”

Yessssss step two was a go-go!

“What’s up?” Be cool Glimmer.

“You...couch? You got a new couch? That looks uhm, a little, you know fancy. To be sleeping on?” Catra’s voice cracked slightly and she instantly felt horrible about this plan. She’d been banking on Catra being tired but not cry over something like this tired.

“Duh, you’re not sleeping on the couch silly. What are we? College students? C’mon, my California king came in a few weeks ago, plenty of space!” Glimmer gently bumped their hips together before looping her arm through Catra’s in apology. “Let’s get you passed out.”

Catra snorted softly but was clearly still recovering from the emotional trauma of thinking she was- gods, what? Sleeping in the bathtub? “Fuck you.”

“Ask nicely.” Glimmer pushed Catra into the bathroom. “Bath wipes on the sink, put them in the trash. Do not flush them or I will kill you.”

“Okay, and I’m supposed to?”

Don’t scream at her, don’t yell at her, she’s not being difficult on purpose for once, hold it together now. “Use them. Always feels better after a shit day or travel day to clean up.”

“Are you-” Catra cut herself off with another sniffle, carefully picking up the package of body wipes like Glimmer hadn’t bought them expressly because of her phobia. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, clean up I’ll pull your jammies and if I don’t like them you’re wearing mine.” Glimmer smirked over her shoulder, calling through the now shut door, “AND I’LL CHOOSE THE GIRLY GIRL ONES.”

Her threats were unnecessary, because Catra had at least listened to her this time about bringing proper pajamas. The last time they’d taken a trip together Catra had thought she was being hyperbolic about the jammies situation. Her mistake. Glimmer had few demands of her travel companions, but bringing real pjs and a ceramic mug were non-optional. Catra had learned that the hard way by wearing a purple silk sleep set while being forced to drink the coffee Glimmer made from the trusty ten cup drip she brought with her on every trip out of a stoneware mug covered in babies. Right on top of everything else Glimmer found a soft t-shirt wrapped around a pink and brown mug with “pussy play” surrounded by cats proudly emblazoned on it. Under that was a pair of shorts so fucking comfortable looking that Glimmer had to remind herself to not steal them instantly.

After passing Catra her clothes and changing into her own jamjams, Glimmer quickly set the bed up and prayed that the quick wipe bath wasn’t long enough for Catra to try and fight her about sleeping conditions. Or fall asleep on the toilet. Damn there were more variables than she’d intended.

But it turned out she shouldn’t have worried about that. She should have worried more about Catra’s entry into the bed, which consisted of her flicking the lights off and screaming while somehow doing a cannonball into the center of the mattress. By the time Glimmer stopped shrieking and having her heart beat through her chest, Catra’s cackling had died off into soft snoring.

Step three was a go-go.

Glimmer scooted over and wrapped herself around the little adorable ball, completely on purpose, and went to sleep.

~

Several Years Later

“Well,” Catra snickered, “we got together because of a cliche really. It only actually happened because I had to sleep in Glimmer’s bed when I was visiting, so there really was only one bed.”

Perfuma and Scorpia exchanged confused glances.

Oh shit. Glimmer tried to signal them but it was too late.

“What do you mean? Was something wrong with the pull out?” Scorpia asked.

Oh no.

Catra squinted at them and pointed to the pink leather cushions her friends were sitting on. “The pull out? What pull out? She had this couch by then!”

Perfuma had the gall to giggle as she waggled her eyebrows while standing up. Rude! “Oh silly, this is a pull out couch.”

“...no it isn’t.” Catra wasn’t really glaring so much as confused, right until she saw Glimmer’s bright red face. “Oh my god.”

“Oh yeah, we’ve slept on this puppy a few times!” Scorpia helpfully got up to unfold it to demonstrate as if Catra hadn’t already cottoned on to Glimmer’s old scheme.

Catra blinked at it before glaring proudly at her girlfriend. “You bitch!”

Glimmer tried to put on her best puppy dog eyes, not that it seemed to work well.

“You MANUFACTURED bed scarcity!”

“For a good cause!”

Was Glimmer ever going to live this down? No. Was she going to get kisses for life from Catra? Yes.

Worth it!

[foolforshera]

When someone switches from food they're used to, their normal everyday diet, to a new diet of food, there's often, shall we say, tummy trouble while they adjust.

All I'm saying is that after the war, I hope there's plenty of good plumbers for all the Horde soldiers who stop eating ration bars 24/7.

[freedfromthegalactichivemind]

Etherian Post-War Safety-Course for Younglings

(or Kindergarten Kaboom!)  

She-Ra fanfiction Rated G Comedy Entrapta, Hordak, Catra, Pickles the Clone 

Inspired by conversations had with @jidblogger

Summary: In the aftermath of the wars with the Horde, both cosmic and domestic, many dangerous weapons were left behind all over the planet.  Clean-up work will take a long time and discarded weapons will pose a danger to civilians for years to come.  

As part of their community service, former members of the Horde have been assigned to go to public schools to inform children as to what weapons look like and to avoid touching them if they find them.  Entrapta, Catra, Hordak and a clone who has volunteered to assist them have been assigned to speak at a kindergarten.  It goes...um...well?  (A bit removed from the real-world version of this as I wanted to keep a lighthearted spirit.  In our world, landmines from ancient wars are still a problem and they maim and kill in many parts of the world - very often children out playing.  In my story, since it is in response to a comedy-vein ask, I firmly went with the ‘80s cartoon style for a reboot-series story of “The Horde uses stun-weapons / the Horde doesn’t use real bullets, etc.” because I really didn’t want to show lack of respect for a serious real world problem).  I tried to keep this funny with character-writing / character-focus.  

----------------------------

Etherian Post-War Safety-Course for Younglings (or Kindergarten-Kaboom!) “Class!  Class! Settle!”   The Afternoon Kindergarten at Mystacor Elementary  School was rambunctious after their nap and Graham crackers.  Several of them were weaving simple sparkle-spells and making misshapen animals and funny monsters out of light, the stuff of crayon-drawings done with magic.  One little boy started levitating the paperweight off of Ms. Astral’s desk.  She closed her eyes, put her fingers to her forehead briefly and then calmly grabbed it from the air and put it back.  She’d been told that she’d taken up an especially difficult assignment and would have had an easier time if she’d chosen to teach in almost any other Etherian kingdom.  Mystacor was, of course, the home of sorcerers’ children.   Ms. Astral stood before the class and raised her voice for attention.  She held her hands cupped and crossed out before her.  “Class?  Classs! We are having some special guests to speak with us today!  They are here as part of the Horde Rehabilitation Program and are going to speak to you about safety.  Won’t that be exciting?”   There were a few groans.  A few faces brightened at the mention of the Horde, a fascination with former enemies. There were some shocked gasps.  A few of the more anxious kids fidgeted and looked afraid.   Ms. Astral jumped back as she opened the classroom door to let her class’ guests inside. She taught a diverse classroom and encouraged respect for all manner of people, but she could not help but be intimidated by the first entrant.  Like many Etherians, she was taking some time getting used to the clones.  They had sharp claws, sharp teeth, unnerving eyes without visible pupils and, most of all; they were big – just big.  This one blinked - those weird eyes wide, green and glowing.  “Um… is this Ms. Astral’s kindergarten?” he asked.   “Y-yes,” Ms. Astral answered him.   Tall, predatory- a super-soldier with just the slightest hint of machine-sounds as he moved… The young woman reminded herself that there were clones in Mystacor.  Some of her students’ families had even adopted a few.  She, herself, had little contact.  Did this one have to wear the old uniform? She noted that the Horde-wings sigil had been crossed out with a large red diagonal line, so she knew she was not dealing with a Prime-loyalist.  Maybe this one was one of those who were not yet comfortable with Etherian clothing.   He bowed.  “I am here to assist my most esteemed brother,” (he said “esteemed” with an emphasis on the last syllable) “The Promised Defiant!  The First of the Named!  The Legendary-” “Pickles, stop.” The clone awkwardly straightened up and entered the classroom in full at being broken out of his spell by the voice behind him.  Ms. Astral’s eyes widened.  She stared up at the figure that was looming before her.  Steel-toed boots, a black dress (no sigil), heavily-armored arms, a collar with a gently glowing purple crystal in its center, a white face, red eyes lined in black and Stygian blue hair… Completing the look was a scowl that could sour milk.   “L-lord Hordak?” He closed his eyes and held up a hand. “Not ‘Lord’ any longer, just Hordak,” he said, “or, if you wish, ‘Atoner.”   “Hah! Way to be overdramatic!  Don’t mind him…he’s always so emo at these things!” Sashaying her way in was a young woman who led with her tail.  She spun around and casually looked at the claws of one of her hands.  “Anyway, let’s get this over with!  The sooner we get done with our mandated community service for the day, the sooner we can leave!”   “You shall have to excuse Catra,” Hordak apologized to the teacher.  “She does not take these things as seriously as she should.”   A whirlwind of purple suddenly burst into the classroom.   “Hey, kids!  Who’s ready for SCIENCE?!” “A princess?” one of the children cried.

“A princess is here!” a couple of others shouted.  

“It’s the pretty-hair one!” a little girl exclaimed.  “Hey, can we brush your hair?”   “Why do you even care about that?” another kid said, “She’s the one who builds ROBOTS!  Robots are soooo cool! Didja bring any robots?” “YES!” Entrapta loudly proclaimed, “You’re all going to meet my best friend, Emily, today! She’s outside, though, so it will be later!” “Ooh!” all of the kids gasped at once. “Lord Hordak!  Lord Hordak!” one doe-eyed boy asked, raising a chubby little hand toward the ceiling, “Did you bring your baby, too?” “My…baby?” Hordak snorted, going cockeyed. “Don’t you have a little blue-guy…” one girl resembling a horned-lizard stammered, “And he’s got wings and a tail and he looks kinda like my little brother, Dougie.”   “I left Imp in the care of trusted subordinates,” Hordak answered.  “Er…um…friends.  Friends.” “Anyway!” Ms. Astral announced, clapping her hands.  “Our speakers are here today to tell you about Horde-weapons and what to do if you see any old Horde-weapons lying around!” “Safety First!” Entrapta said with a bounce.  She lifted one tendril of her hair up in a finger to the oohs and ahs of the class.  Ms. Astral gratefully sat down at the corner of the classroom.  “Pickles!  Can you write on the chalkboard for me?” The white-clad clone delicately took a piece of chalk from the liner of the chalkboard and started writing in big letters: “Softy Farst: Harde We-pons.” “Oh, oh, you spell it like this,” Entrapta corrected him, erasing part of his lettering and showing him what characters to write.  She turned to the teacher and to the class.  “He’s still learning how to write Etherian-Standard.”   “Ah, okay, like this?” Pickles asked. For flourish, he wrote Hordish characters beneath the newly-scrawled “Safety First: Horde Weapons.” “And you want to become a teacher…” Catra scoffed. “Sister Entrapta says I have to start somewhere!” Pickles countered, “Which is why I am following your community-service as a teacher’s aide!  Glory be, the things I am learning!”   “None of us are perfect!” Entrapta chimed, “and he’s grasping our languages surprisingly well for having it just dropped on him!”   “Fair enough.  Shadow Weaver barely taught me anything.” Catra commented, “I had to learn from copying Adora.  At least the teacher doesn’t smell like booze.”   “I would never drink on duty!” Ms. Astral asserted indignantly.  

Catra sniffed.   “She’s using cat-senses!” Entrapta loud-whispered to the class.  “Fascinating!” “Nope, no wine,” Catra said.  “This place reeks of crayons and play-clay. Wow, you kids don’t know how lucky you have it!  All we Horde-cadets had to play when I was your age was scrap metal, dead rats and stun-grenades.” “Dead rats? Ewww!”

“Grenades?  Cool!”

“You can smell our crayons?  What does yellow smell like?”  

The kids were all talking at once.  

Hordak held up a finger and his ears were pinned to the sides.  His previous milk-souring scowl had officially turned into a glare that could scare said soured milk into instant hard cheese.  “How did you get into the grenades?” he demanded, “They were for battle-use only!  Using them for sport was well against protocol!”

“Search me!” Catra snarkily replied “Not my fault the higher officers weren’t securing the munitions sheds! Anyway, we all called them ‘boom-potaters’ and Adora, Lonnie and I would play hot-potato with them all the time!”  

“Oooh!” – All eyes were on Catra.   “And Adora and I would go up to our favorite spot to watch the moons set – it had a view of the entire Fright Zone and we’d just lob those suckers off of there and see how far we could throw them! It was a contest!  I once got one straight through the window of Shadow Weaver’s office and she never caught us!  And one time, we blew up a sewage pipe…”   Hordak was grinding his teeth.  “So THAT was the mysterious explosion that destroyed the plumbing system for a week! I had to make arrangements with the inspector and re-format the pipes MYSELF!  It took precious time away from our Fifth March on Thaymore and…”   “Yeah, yeah, I know, it was a total mistake!” Catra said with a dismissive wave.  “We had to sh…” she remembered her audience suddenly, “We had to make poo-poo and pee-pee in boxes and jars for a week.  It wasn’t fun and it was smelly.”   The classroom burst into an uproar of laughter. “And you see, class,” Entrapta chimed, “This is why you shouldn’t play with any grenades you find!  You could mess up an entire infrastructure system and have to go potty in a box for a week!  And I bet there were no baths, either!”   Catra wrinkled her nose.  “Yeah. We could all smell Hordak coming.”   “WHAT?”   “You already smell like machine-oil and blood.  I bet you don’t even notice what you smell like unwashed!”   “Did you not have an amniotic-fluid shower set up, Brother?” Pickles asked.   “I had to… make do… with local limitations,” Hordak grunted.  “And I bet the former Force Captain smelled of unwashed fur.”   “Wrong!”  Catra gave one of her arms a long lick.  She flicked her ear.  “Part-cat! We’re self-cleaning!”   “Moving on?”  Ms. Astral inquired.   “Oh, yes!” Entrapta said with a big grin. She pulled a small device from her hair. Ms. Astral went stark white. Several children ducked under their desks.  A few children remained seated and leaned over their desks looking forward. Entrapta held aloft, in one tendril of hair, a standard-issue Etherian Forces Horde Stun-Grenade.   “Oh, don’t worry!” she said.  “I deactivated it!” “Are you sure?” Catra asked.    “Yep!”  Entrapta slammed the grenade down on the teacher’s desk. Children screamed.  Ms. Astral jumped and shielded the children at the front. When the explosion didn’t’ happen, they all looked up cautiously to see Entrapta holding two halves of a grenade, showing the interior components.  

“See?” she said. “Every Etherian-Horde Grenade has a liquid-chamber inside!” She held up a tiny vial with a red liquid. “I took it out for the demonstration. See, nice and safe! Oops!”  

The vial slipped through the silky tendrils of her hair.  She swiftly caught it in one of her gloved hands.  “Oooh, good thing that didn’t happen!  If it had hit the floor and broke, everything would have gone kaboom! Which would have been AWESOME! And…bad…um…very bad.”   Ms. Astral did not drink on duty. However, at the moment, she wished for whiskey. Entrapta held the vial out for the children to see (as soon as they’d stopped ducking, letting their curiosity overcome them).  “It is an explosive compound.  Your Principal didn’t want me to explain the chemistry because they thought it was too advanced for you, but I just think she just doesn’t want you all to make it, which is ridiculous because I was making explosive-compounds when I was three and I turned out fine.”   “Perhaps I should take that while you show them the rest, Entrapta,” Hordak offered, gently taking the vial with a thumb and forefinger.  He placed it in a compartment on his hip-guard. “Okay, so take a look at the inside of the grenade!”  Entrapta said, holding out a half.  “So, the vial you saw fits into here, and the charge is here!  And when you pull the pin, this mechanism here strikes the vial, which causes a chain-reaction in the chemicals and makes a BIIIIIG stun-charge! Oh, and you should never, ever pull the pin with your teeth!  That’s a great way to make your head explode into sloppy spaghetti! KER-BOOM!”  

She was laughing maniacally. Some of the children hugged each other. Some hugged Ms. Astral. Others…started laughing manically. Hordak sighed and addressed the class. “The point of all this is not to touch them.  If you see a grenade when you are out…um…playing? Playing, was it?  With your little friends, you should report it to an adult for proper containment and disposal.”  

Pickles held up a finger. “Oh!  And if you see any white ones, definitely do not touch them!  They are the same model on the exterior, but they are Prime’s!  My most exalted Brother, Hordak worked primarily in the non-lethal phase of conquest! Weapons from the Fright Zone will still hurt you, but Prime’s will kill you!”  

He drew pictures of several robots and ships on the chalkboard very quickly.  They were extremely skilled, like blueprints – exacting, the kind of plans drawn by one who had them programmed into his brain.   “Prime,” he stated, “Had four phases of conquest when he found a planet inhabited by intelligent beings.  The first was Gospel – he would announce his presence and welcome everyone to enter peacefully into his Light.  If the entire population did not obey immediately, the second phase was Subjugation.  Etheria spent most of its time in this.”  The clone pented his hands gently, “This was non-lethal warfare, stun-beams and containment of towns.  We Brothers of Prime were authorized to use some force, but were not authorized to end lives, for all creatures great and small belonged to Prime. After that, there was True War – the lethal phase to gain control if the populace was stubborn, and the final phase, when Prime had given up bringing a hopeless world into the Light was Annihilation.”

Hordak flicked an ear. “Indeed, I spent most of my conquest of Etheria in the Subjugation-phase lacking direct orders from Prime.”  He looked down.  “People did… die by my hand, but I thought it prudent to gift as many resources – including the living – into Prime’s hand.”  

The children regarded him with some fear.  

Pickles smiled brightly, reaching over to pat Hordak on the shoulder.  “But we all know that Prime lied now!  And he cannot hurt any of us anymore because he is super-duper dead!  The once Reagent of the Seven Skies is the Regent of a Thosuand Worms! Deader than dead! He Without Existence!  The Lonesome Wanderer of Pure Oblivion - !”     “But his weapons can hurt you!”  Entrapta fielded.  “This is a land mine!”   Ms. Astral stood and shielded her children again.   Catra laughed.  “Oh, that’s a model.  Adora took away all the real ones she tried to bring in!”   “Oh, no, this one is real!  I smuggled it in!”  

 Catra’s eyes went wide. “Entrapta!”  

 “They have to know what a real one looks like, riiiight?’  She set it on the floor.  “Prime’s robots buried a bunch of these in the ground and covered them with grass and stuff.  And if you step on them, you go kaboom!”  

She STOMPED on the mine.

The entire class screamed.   “I disabled it!” she exclaimed.  She held it up in her hair, showing that it was a hollow shell.   Catra’s nose wrinkled.  “I smell pee,” she said.  

“Honestly,” Hordak said smoothly, “I am surprised that we have, thus far, avoided explosions.”   “Alright class, calm down…uh…heheh...uh...heh?” the teacher stammered.  “Are there any other things that the children should watch out for?”  

 “Oh, very much yes!’ Entrapta exclaimed.  “All robots are to be reported to the Dryl offices!  That’s my domain!”  

“And you should never repurpose tanks for parties, like those idiots in Elberon did,” Catra added, flicking her tail. “They stuffed the canon full of confetti.  I’m surprised they didn’t blow themselves up!”  

Hordak drew a small staff from a carrying case.  “This,” he said, “is a stun-baton.  They were standard-issue for my troops.  They were also standard issue in the Galactic Horde.”  He turned to the class, holding it aloft.  “If you find any, please do not play with them.  Entrapta, will you demonstrate?”  

“Okie dokie!”  

The teacher yelped as Entrapta started lifting up her top.  

“No! No! No! No! You can’t get naked in front of CHILDREN!”  

“Naked? Huh?’  Entrapta said, smoothly turning around.  She kept her shirt partially pulled up, showing her back to the class, her front firmly covered.  “Pish! Don’t get in a tizzy, I’m just showing off my back! See this scar, kids?  I got it from a stun baton!”  

Catra was cringing.  Her ears were back, her head was down, she had one hand wrapped around an arm and her tail tightly coiled around one leg.  

Entrapta pulled down her shirt.  “Don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt anymore.  Oh! Oh!  And this is exactly how the baton disrupts the humanoid nervous system!”  

She was scribbling on the chalkboard with multiple chalk-pieces in tendrils of her hair.  Soon, there was a human body, a brain, a spinal cord and various branching nerves.  She was drawing arrows representing flow.  “Oh, the electrons go in here, and they seize up the brain and you wake up with a BIIIIIG headache, believe me!”  

Catra was still looking down.  Hordak subtly growled and gave her a sideways look.  He smoothly pressed a switch on the stun baton, bringing a web of crackling electricity to life.   “IT’S LIVE?!” Ms. Astral screamed.   “Of course it is.  My cadets trained with these often and learned to build up a resistance.  They do not hurt much when on their lowest setting.”   “I got a high dose!” Entrapta chimed.   “Fortunately, we do have a lab-animal to demonstrate the effect on,” Hordak rumbled.   “Oh, no!” Catra said, backing up, holding up her hands.  “You aren’t using that on me!” Hordak gave her a wicked smile.  “You do want to educate the children, do you not?’ Before Catra could make a move of self-defense, Entrapta beamed and withdrew a stuffed animal from under the desk. “Tada!” she said, presenting a pink fuzzy plush creature that resembled a koala crossed with an owl with big, floppy ears.   Hordak strode over to it and plunged the active stun baton down on its head.  Smoke rose from it and it burst into flames.   The sprinkler-system activated.  The children screamed and laughed.   “Alright, children!  Single file!” Ms. Astral instructed, making the evacuation calm. Entrapta was laughing.  “Time for the outdoor demonstration!” she chimed. “Who’s ready to see some ROBOTS?!” “There…there’s MORE?” the exhausted and exasperated teacher quailed.   “MUUUUCH MORE!’ Entrapta said, leaning up on her hair and coming close to Ms. Astral’s face.   Hordak and Pickles walked straight and stiff. Catra sighed.  Entrapta expanded her hair and shepherded many excited children out to the playground outside the classroom.  “Emily!” she exclaimed as the robot beeped and trundled her way.   Children squealed and surrounded her. Emily tucked in her legs and rolled. “She’s a giant ball!” some kid laughed. She rolled to a stop and Entrapta patted her on her top.  “Emily was a standard Horde search and destroy drone!” she explained.  “I met her when I was chasing a little cleaner-bot in the Fright Zone!  I reprogrammed her and have given her loads of upgrades!  Queen Glimmer made me get rid of her steel-melting laser, which was so poop of her, but Emily retains a whole range of complex capabilities. She’s smart and affectionate, too!” Entrapta clapped.  “Show them your shuffle, Emily!”  

Emily danced around in a kind of crab-walk.  The children cheered.   “Now, I am going to show you all of the components of a Fright Zone drone – with Emily’s assistance!  Now, most of them should be out of commission and the rest I’ve reprogrammed for rebuilding-help!  However, if you meet one when out playing on the planet’s surface, there are some safety things you need to know!”   Emily obediently raised up for her so Entrapta could show the rapt children how her legs worked.  She then pointed to her optic.  “Here is the optic – she sees through this and this is also where she could fire a laser if she still had one.  All she has now is a pointer-light.  Anyway, you just need to dodge to the side here to get out of the sight-range, and if you hear a ‘whoooo’ powering up, stop, drop and roll!” “If you have claws or can get your little fingers under the chassis,” Catra said, you can rip out their ‘guts!’  The main power-unit is right under here!”   Emily backed away from her.   “Okay, who wants to play a game of ‘Search and Destroy’ with Emily?” Entrapta announced.  “She’s got her harmless laser-light and her optics and she won’t hurt you.  It’s like Hide and Seek!  She’ll beep loudly when she finds you!  Go, go, go!” Ms. Astral sighed as the children scattered in all directions, climbing playground equipment and trees.  They hid behind playground cubby-boxes and bushes. Emily spun around, seeking a target. “I assure you that no harm shall come to them,” Hordak said to the teacher.   Pickles slunk down and got into a hunting mode, himself, deciding to up the excitement of the game by adding a Galactic Horde warrior to the mix.  “You have been captured!” he said to a squirming boy with goat-horns as he grabbed him from behind a tree.   “Alright… I guess this relieves the tension from earlier,” the teacher said, wiping her brow.  “But please, if you come to my class again, DON’T SET THINGS ON FIRE!” Laid out on a table were various tools, scrap and a few weapons that were to be a part of the demonstration (Entrapta wanted to show the kids how to build small robots if they had time, just to make EXTRA SURE they wouldn’t accidentally build one if they found old Horde-scrap).  Hordak was guarding it when a small boy ran right up to it and grabbed one of the grenades. “I’ve got a boom-potater!” he cried in triumph. “No, you little fool!” Hordak hissed running after him.   “Let’s play hot-potato!” he squealed, tossing it toward a pair of children who were outrunning Emily.   In an instant, Hordak launched himself between the children and the stun-grenade.  He took it full in the chest.  A loud boom sounded and a flash of red light temporarily blinded everyone in the area.  His armored form ragdolled, almost going right off the edge of the floating island they were on.  He came to rest in a rumbled heap on his side and didn’t move.   Entrapta was immediately on her feet running toward him.   “Brother!” Pickles cried.   Catra held some of the children back. The two that had been the ‘hot-potater’ target stood with Hordak at their feet.  Inquisitive kindergartners climbed down from trees and playground equipment.   “Is he…dead?”  worried children said, approaching him.   “Poor old vampire…” one little girl lamented.  One of the little boys nudged his head with a toe.  Entrapta was soon bent down before him, checking his armor and his vitals quickly with both her hair and her hands.   “He’s okay!” she said with a thumbs up as he opened his eyes and groaned.   “Brother, would you like some help up?” Pickles offered.  Hordak grunted as Entrapta lifted him to his feet with his hair and helped him to limp to a bench.   Ms. Astral stood in stark wonderment. “Give him his space, children,” she instructed.  “I believe our safety lesson is over for the day?”   Here today, the once Scourge of Etheria had just risked his life and gotten himself hurt to save her children.  Of course, he’d kind of saved them from himself since the Horde guest-speakers had brought weapons to class in the first place, but at this point, she was going to take any blessings she could get.  

When Adora, Bow and Glimmer showed up to pick up their community-service-servers they found Hordak sitting on a bench, sipping tea with a blanket over his shoulders and a gaggle of children looking up at him adoringly, one latched onto his right leg as he kept his ears down with a subdued scowl.  Catra was lobbing stun-grenades into a duck-pond to delighted squeals, Pickles was gently hugging a sobbing kindergarten teacher and Entrapta was leading an army of youngsters who had built small robots that were demanding in mechanical voices “Cook-ies! Cook-ies!”  

“I think we need to rethink this part of the Horde Community Service Program,” Bow said as Adora tried to stop Catra and Glimmer balled up her fists, ready to explode.  

[distant-screaming]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Catra & Glimmer (She-Ra) Characters: Adora (She-Ra), Catra (She-Ra), Glimmer (She-Ra) Additional Tags: Fluff, Humor, Lazy Mornings, Domestic Fluff, Lesbian Disaster Adora (She-Ra), Teasing, Flirting Series: Part 16 of Flufftober 2022! Summary:

Catra and Adora spend a romantic morning together. Well, as romantic as they can be, anyway.

[spopsalt]

Horde Prime is just such a lame final villian, He has no ersonality beyond just evil cult leaderrr like you have SO MUCH potential there! There is SO MUCH you can do with having a literal CULT LEADER as your main antagionist, I say this as someone who's written a story with a cult leader before. Y'know a show that does villians right? RICK AND MORTY BABY!

Honestly I don't get the hype around Rick Prime, he's not the greatest villian, he's fine, he's passable, but he doesn't have much personality, kinda seems like wasted potential. Especially considering that he didn't personally know Rick c137, and only brutally killed his wife and child because he bruised his ego. And I struggle to say three words about him, I mean uhhhh he's evil, sadistic, and uhm....has a big ego. I mean he's a fun to watch, and is admittadly very memorable. Also, it's honestly refreshing to have a villian that doesn't have some tragic backstory, honestly though, I feel like Evil Morty is a MUCH more interesting villian. He's smart, manipulative, cunning, arrogant, and is shown to have a sense of humor (Example Rick c137 saying "Are you better than me?!" And Evil Morty replying "Jesus Chirst, I hope so!) and is very good at making plans. Needing only one day to completely control Evil Rick, he also has a belivable backstory, his Rick is implied to be physically abusive, since he has a tendency to flinch, we actually see him flinch and shield himself in his backstory when Evil Rick yells at him, but both of these villians are WAY better than Horde Prime because THEY HAVE PERSONALITIES.

While Rick Prime doesn't have a ton of personality, they make up for that by having him be fun to watch, Horde Prime is just boring, he has no interesting dialogue, as of writing this I can't remember a SINGLE line from him, just the god-awful deleted victim blaming line "You always wanted more, all she ever wanted was you"

Meanwhile the lines I remember from Rick Prime off the top of my head "You think it's cool being the smartest man on earth, but once we give you this technology you become the smartest thing in every concieveable universe, the infinite Rick, a god." "It's a non-stop where all the guests are the only people we like" "Or me! Again it might be me! But like a saw thing! I'm veryyy sneaky." "Look it's the wife guy! Dead wife Rick! I'll tell you this guy does not know when to quit (...) You brought two Mortys with you? What are they, your cheering section?" "What're gonna do? 'Aw Jeez' me to death? Oh you don't want those scematics buddy, those are for grownups. (...) Listen, Rick to Rick, he's got the weapon plans, buddy, nip this in the bud! He's 14! What's gonna happen the next time he gets mad at Grandpa?" And my all time favorite lines from him that he says while literally getting brutally beaten to death by the guy who's wife and child he brutally murdered "Haha! Let's do this then! You're welcome by the way! I MADE you! I showed you infinity! And what did you do with it!? Hang out with MY grandson?! Raise echos of MY daughter?! What's your LIFE without me!? Admit it! You would've been me! I just walked into your garage before you walked into mine! But eventually you did! YOU LIVED IN MY HOUSE!" He made it abundatly clear that he regrets NOTHING! Not. One. Single. Thing. Meanwhile I literally cannot remember Horde Prime's last words.

How do you screw up THAT badly with a final villian? Rick Prime isn't the greatest villian, but at least he's fun and memorable. What's memorable about Horde Prime besides his character design? That's right! Nothing! Evil Morty is an amazing villian with an interesting backstory that makes sense, being one Morty who finally snapped after years of emotional and implied physical abuse. Meanwhile Horde Prime is just uhhhh evil and uhmmm that's it. He's evil, deal with it. HE'S A GOOD FINAL VILLIAN!

Sorry I kinda blabbered on about Rick and Morty for too long, it's just AMAZING how many things it does better than spop, it's not the greatest tv show ever, but I like it nonetheless, and when it does good, it does GOOD! It just has a bad reputation because of those godawful episodes in seasons 4-6, I won't specify, but if you know, YOU KNOW! Ok, I'll stop talking now, I hope you enjoyed this comparison!

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

i remember seeing an interview with nate where he was talking about the creative process. and he said that whenever he needed a scene to be more comedic, he would just ask bow's VA to add in a voice crack while recording his lines. which shows us how much effort they put into writing good comedy (or heck, good anything) for the show.

[catboymoments]

hello!! out of curiousity, do u have any voice headcanons for the nextgen kids?

OKAY SO last time this question was asked I didn’t have answers but now I have a few!!! It’s been a bit of a struggle to find voices for some of my guys but I do have ideas on their voice profiles so I’m open to suggestions on who would be good…

Azura- I’ve really fallen in love with the concept of AJ Michalka (Stevonnie, Catra spop) being her voice- I think Azura would have a scrappy cute voice that’s still unique to her that fits in with her family, and it would be very cute to have a VA who’s iconic for voicing queer cartoon characters be the voice for the kid of two of the biggest history makers in Disney…. Shes so cute

Bronwyn- Bronwyn at her core is a musician and her struggles with anxiety and panic disorders are a huge part of her character- I feel like her voice would be that of someone who could connect with her and play a soft voiced “mature” girl with a passion for singing and songwriting, so I settled on her being voiced by Mitski, the singer we all know and love. I think she would be able to bring a lot of life to her.

Juno- Juno being a trans girl is very important to her character and I would want a transfem to voice her, but when there’s transfem characters in media they’re almost always portrayed with higher “passable” voices from what I’ve seen. I want her voice to be a little deeper to represent girls who have those voices, and I think her sense of style and humor would come through well with iamblizzymcguire/blizzabella, A transfem nyc based comedian and model who I love. She’s so unique and sillay and I adore her

Now!!! Voice profiles for the guys I don’t have specific ideas for!

Hyacinth- at first I thought of him being voiced by Alex Lawther who plays younger Philip in canon, but he’s 1) British and 2) his voice is a bit more mature than I would like. Part of Hyacinth and how he differs from Philip is that he’s a lot smaller, and while I wanna have a voice for him that’s still in that “tenor range head voice that’s very in the nose and has a soft cadence,” I don’t think Lawther could do that. I would want someone similar and who isn’t British so I could imagine it better…

Mittens- I think mittens would have a tiny voice that’s also more masc, not so much scratchy and raspy but like. Little guy. Y feel me

Calcifer- honestly I’m not sure how to describe what I hear for them- they give me a vibe of a very cute and polite little kid who’s able to get Sillay???? They’re excitable and they tend to infodump………

Bramble- at first I thought I had a voice for him- that voice being Andrew Kishino who voices the character his design is based off of (Kevin from Steven universe) but Kish’s voice is way too mature for an angsty 14 year old trans boy. I do want his voice to be on the deeper and softer side with a good amount of sass though.

Briar- I don’t really know what to do for her since she’s still kinda new ….

[catgirl-catboy]

Redoing my comms post!

Hi! I'm Tenko/Cat and I offer writing commissions! I charge a US dollar for 500 words.

Here are some examples of my usual writing that you should check out! 1, 2, 3, 4! Here's my Ko-fi, where I accept payment.

If you want a fic that's longer than 5k, I would like half of the money upfront, to make sure I don't get scammed.

If you purchase a fic under 5k, I can write it in 1-2 weeks max. Over 5k, and it will take a lot longer. (precise estimates are hard due to my schedule varying.)

The wordcount you pay for is a minimum. If you commission me for 1000 words, and I write 1200, then you don't need to worry about paying extra. I won't write 900 though, since that'd be shortcharging you.

Since I usually write dark stuff, commissions can be anonymous if you'd prefer!

My fandom list: Danganronpa, Homestuck, Ace Attorney, One Piece, South Park, The Owl House, Warrior Cats, Wings of Fire, Total Drama, Death Note, Fullmetal Alchemist, BNHA, Harry Potter (obligatory fuck JKR), Steven Universe, SPOP and ATLA!

I mainly write: Angst, Whump, Drabbles, Dead Dove, genfic and Character x Character.

Specific things I enjoy (and think I'm good at) writing: Accurate characterization, Abusive Relationships, Phycological Horror, Murder, Gore. I feel less confident in my skills of writing: Fluff, Smut/PWP, OCs, x Readers and Humor! I'll still give them a shot though!

I will not write: (no hate if you like any of these things, but not my cup of tea!) Large Age Gaps (aged up is fine!), Human x Animal, Teacher x Student (ex Teacher and Student is fine!), Mommy/Daddy kinks, Piss and Scat kinks, Pregnancy, Agere, Kacchako.

This is probably an incomplete list, and I can add to it at any time.

Feel free to shoot me an ask or PM if you have specific questions about what I'll write!

[antisociallilbrat]

Comparing IT Losers Club and the Party is interesting character-wise. Which Party members represent which Losers Club in your opinion?

I have been waiting for someone to ask me this, thank you anon, you're encouraging my nonsense.

As Entrapta from spop said: “You're asking me about my theories? I've waited years for someone to ask me about my theories! Hang on, I made a model.”

So long story short, Suffer Brother wanted to direct the It remake, they got denied and so they went and made St instead. Here's an article on this, read it, it's interesting despite being dated.

They took a lot inspiration from It and this reflects in The Party in season one. I'm going to compare The Party to The Losers from how they were portrayed in season one- so no Max. Because while The Losers were the blueprint for The Party, they did grow into their own characters as the seasons went on. Also season one of St came out before the It remake the Suffer Brother's would've pulled from the It book and/or the miniseries.

Mike: he is so Bill Denbrough coded. He's kinda like the unspoken leader (this goes away after season one though I feel like) of the Party. He's the Dm after all (again, season one) He's protective of the ones he loves and is willing to go to extremes to protect them. The cliff scene. He's picked on but not to the extent his other friends are. Also he gets the girl, Billverly anyone? yes I know, I'm talking season one only

Dustin: Him and Richie would be horrible in the same room together. They're similar in their humor. He's also is a bit like Mike H, the peacekeeper. The unit that keeps everyone together, Mike calling everyone back to Derry and Dustin trying to get Lucas and Mike to make amends after their fight. And him and Mike are both kinda nerds. Well kinda for Mike H, Dustin is a nerd.

Lucas: He, like Dustin, is Richie coded. Not so much Richie's humor but more his determination, his strong personality? His fight with Mike in season one is very reminiscent of Bill and Richie's fight. Although again, St came out before the It remake so I'm talking more about how their personalities could clash in the other It medias. The two are like brothers, Mike and Lucas & Bill and Richie. I would even say he's a little bit, just a bit, like Stan, wary of the unknown and supernatural, like how he was with El. After season one he's nothing like Stan though.

Will: he's so Eddie. He is Eddie if Eddie had a good mom. Will had to be brave to face the monsters, just like Eddie had to to be against It. Physically on the smaller side, like Eddie, but he will fight for his friends and his life. But I feel his more reserved personality is more reminiscent of Ben. He's the happiest around his friends, like Ben, and he honestly just wants them to be happy too. Also they're both creative people.

El: She's kinda hard to say but she is Bev coded. The abusive father figure, running into a bunch of boys that accept her despite reasons not to-El having powers and Bev and the rumors about her, and they both end up with the 'leader' at first. But Bev ended up with Ben as adults. Will, El, and Mike is comparable to the to the Bill, Bev, and Ben love triangle so we'll see what happens. (NO I'm not saying she's ending up with Will, do not misconstrued what I am saying, you know what I mean)

I have not read the It book, just bits and pieces here and there and listened to some of the audio book. So I would love to hear from someone who has read It and has different opinions!

There are other parallels I could talk about bc I am feral for this stuff, thank you again anon for asking me this!

[theowritesfiction]

alright, this looks like a fun list to put together, thanks for tagging me @juniperhillpatient <3

10 characters 10 fandoms 10 (ish) tags!

Katara / ATLA – yeah, gasp, no Azula, I always say I love them both equally, but I’ll go with Katara this time. A lot of the times, I will find the good girl too plain or boring, but that couldn’t be further from the truth with Katara. Katara has too many good character traits for me to list, but she also comes with plenty of flaws, painful childhood trauma and some unresolved anger issues. Put together, it makes for the kind of complex character that I always become deeply attracted to.

Adora / SPOP - again, no Catra, gasp, but I wanted to continue with the good girl vibe, and Adora definitely has a lot of similarities with Katara, good girl with issues. I would say that Adora is a lot more patient than Katara, and it takes a lot more to push her to the breaking point. Also, Adora has the kind of martyr complex that’s not very obvious in Katara.

Dawn Summers / BTVS – okay, I’m cheating a little here, normally I would go with Faith or Buffy here, but @juniperhillpatient already picked Faith, and Buffy is such an obvious choice. And I do love Dawnie because I always stand up for the underdog. Coming into the show the way she did, having all this conflict with established characters, turned many (horrible and wrong) fans against her, but I want to say that every issue she ever had was totally valid. Just thinking about what this kid was put through in S5 is still crazy.  

Elizabeth Harmon / The Queen’s Gambit – okay, maybe it’s just me, but watching one of my favorite actresses portray a stunningly beautiful young woman who destroys the patriarchy at the chess board meant everything to me. She also has one of the worst, if not THE worst childhoods on this list, and even the foster family that took her in treated her so coldly. Raised with no love in her life, Beth struggles with empathy and finds it very hard to form relationships.

Aeryn Sun / Farscape – for the crime of conceiving a child out of love, her mother was given the choice to kill her lover or her child. She killed Aeryn’s father so that the child could live. Aeryn was then brought up by the state, in a heavily militarized society, pretty much bred for war. Over the course of the show, Aeryn slowly and reluctantly learns the value of forming genuine emotional connections and experiencing all these ‘weak’ feelings.

Susan Ivanova / Babylon 5 – first openly (or at least very heavily implied) lesbian – or bi – character that I came across in any TV show. Her romance with Talia is deeply tragic and captivating. Susan is an unflinchingly loyal and courageous character, but I also remember really appreciating her snarky sense of humor (as well as her stunning looks, ofc)

Angua von Uberwald / Discworld – I had to include Angua because her character concept is just so fascinating. The City Watch books are my favorite in the series, and while I love all the characters of the Watch, Angua is a personal favorite. It’s always fun to watch her balancing her werewolf nature with the demands of her job and just fitting into human society and having meaningful relationships. She also has very tense relationship with her family who are way more into traditional werewolf lifestyle of hunting humans for sport.

Shadowheart / Baldur’s Gate 3 – it wasn’t easy to decide between the BG3 ladies, but it had to be Jenevelle. It’s so hard to summarize her, because you have to first establish which Shadowheart you’re talking about. Taken as a young child, Shadowheart had her memories erased by the worshippers of Shar, twisting her into a disciple of their cruel deity. This is why when you begin traveling with Shadowheart, she will usually respond well or at least won’t denounce evil and cruel choices, but even then, you can see occasional glimpses of another, gentler personality underneath, one that someone has tried very hard to erase. Helping her denounce Shar, allowing her to reclaim her memories and find redemption is maybe the most rewarding experience I’ve had in any video game. She’s also beautifully voiced and has an amazing sense of humor, even if she doesn’t verbally obliterate people the way Minthara does.

 Audrey Horne / Twin Peaks – I guess Audrey would be the femme fatale of this list. She’s the spoiled brat with the rich daddy, used to get whatever she wants. She’s pretty manipulative and enjoys toying with people. Audrey��s big flaw is that she thinks she’s more mature and cleverer than she actually is, so she occasionally will get herself into a lot of trouble by not thinking things through. She is a really fun character, though, especially when she’s at her spoiled worst at the start of the show.

Rachel Amber / Life is Strange – I wanted to put Rachel after a character from Twin Peaks, because Rachel is so obviously inspired by… no, not by Audrey, but by Laura Palmer. Both of them have this outward glamor girl appearance, but underneath it, there’s a dangerous fascination with the ugly and filthy aspects of human experience. Rachel is also taught by many to be extremely manipulative (which I don’t necessarily agree with). It’s true that Rachel needs attention as much as she needs air. In many ways, Rachel is like a social chameleon. She just effortlessly makes people see in her whatever it is they want to see.

Anyway, I’ve rambled way too long already, have a great day and I’m sorry if you read through all that!