#stares at the wall at 5 am about all of the deadlines i have and how i must structure my silly little life around them like a fool

[ironmanstan]

.

[lesbianoms]

Hihi love your writing and was wondering (if you took prompts) to do more werewolf endo stuff?

Anon I am SO SORRY this took 80 YEARS TO WRITE 😭

It Started with a Sandwich

(Includes soft vore, f/f vore, kink, safe vore/endosoma, gentle/caring pred, werewolf pred, same-size) minors dni!!!

I didn’t know her that well, but she knew me. At least, knew of me.

My college had recently implemented a new kind of "supernatural studies abroad" program; currently, they only offered it as a J-term with limited spots. It served to both teach us about the history of other countries, and to satisfy anyone who was super into fantasy and folklore.

On the night of the deadline, just 5 minutes before midnight, I typed up a rushed essay on a whim... now, here I was, studying old European legends in Romania. It couldn't be helped. I'd always loved the strange.

The woman I watched from across the cobblestone street was our guide. She was not a professor at my school, or a fellow student, or anything like that. Born and raised in Romania, she had shown our small group around, pointing out the tall churches and the intricate, weaving designs of stone atop old castles. Crumbling structure. Old structure. Yet the way she spoke of the past somehow endeared me to it.

I won't deny it. As I looked at her— sitting in the empty outdoor seating of a deli, eating her sandwich— I felt really attracted to her. She was older than me, much older, I'd say about 35 or something like that. Early 40s maybe. Just from her deposition she seemed the type to have kids. A husband, a family.

Not that there was anything wrong with that, because my heart was all too familiar with the stupid, stupid tugging pulse of heartache. It came with the territory of being in love with women who were an entire lifetime away from me. But still, I wondered... would she see me?

My thoughts drifted to the sandwich in her hands. Another perk of being a college student is forgetting that you need to eat to keep your energy up. I thought about the places I’d seen along the route to the hotel: there was a ramen place, a burger joint… hm, “Romanian Ramen” had a nice ring to it. Maybe-

I froze as she looked up at me, and with an embarrassed turn of my head I realized that I’d been spacing out and staring at her the entire time. Ugh, I’m such a dork.

But when I glanced in her direction again, I was confused (and admittedly, a bit intimidated) when I saw her waving me over with a smile. I slowly slid off of the wall I was sitting on and walked over, compulsively brushing at my hair with my fingers.

I hope I looked good.

“Hello!” she said. Her voice was sing-songy, with a soft yet prominent Romanian accent. It radiated warmth. “Would you like to have lunch with me?”

~~~

I don’t remember how long we both sat there in that Deli, talking and laughing. As the time went by and the world around us changed from bright to dark, we seemed to be lost in ourselves.

She was easy to talk to. At first I’d felt like a bit of a geek sitting down and rambling on about whatever was currently on my mind, but she just sat still and listened. She would nod and look at me with interest, as she continued to devour her sandwich. I’ve never been the best at making eye contact with people, so while I talked, I found my eyes wandering down to her mouth as she chewed…

watching her throat bob as she swallowed…

It’s at this point in the story I need to confess something. I have a bit of a… strange “interest.” This is kind of embarrassing, but a necessary detail to the story-

-Oh who the hell am I kidding? Vore. It’s vore. I’m into vore.

So now, as you can imagine, watching her eat made me feel a bit flustered. I was ready to just ignore the feeling and continue on, but ohhh boy… I had no idea what was coming next.

Somehow, we got back on the topic of the program.

“So? Are you enjoying your stay in Romania?” she asked, licking her fingers. The sandwich was completely gone.

“Yeah! It’s a really cool place, with a lot of history. I thought the stuff you were talking about yesterday was really interesting.”

She giggled. “Real spooky, hm?”

“Oh, definitely.”

“The legends, they are my favorite part of living here. I’ve had an interest in the supernatural ever since I was young. When I was 18, my mother took me to Transylvania— it was a difficult trip to make, but I begged her to go— and, ultimately, I’m glad I did. Some of my best and worst memories come from that trip.”

I leaned back in my chair, a slight chuckle in my voice. “Did you want to go to Transylvania because of the vampires?”

There was a sudden shift in her demeanor after I said that. Her eyes looked sad as she smiled and continued her story.

“Well, yes and no. There was something needing to be done there. I had studied vampires before, and…”

She looked left and right, as if making sure nobody was listening to us from the shadows. I blinked in confusion, then watched her lean in and heard her voice drop to a silky whisper.

“Do you know why Transylvania is the vampire country?”

I shook my head. She licked her lips and continued.

“It is because they need a place to roost. They like old things. Old castles. They need a place to hide, yes. But they can't have Romania, because someone is already here.”

“Who?” I asked, my brow furrowed in confusion.

She grinned, and in the rising moonlight, her teeth shimmered like fangs. “The werewolves.”

~~~

It had been hours since I’d let her give me a ride back to her place; the full moon, in that time, had been tucked away behind the clouds. Still. She kept all the curtains closed.

She could tell I was nervous. Even though we’d both been very clear about boundaries and terms, my anxieties were not quite put to rest. I felt stupid for asking, but I also felt like I had to.

"So you're not going to kill me?"

She gave me a warm smile as she stood across from me. "I understand your concern. But I can safely say that no, I'm not in the business of taking any lives. I'm no loup-garou, darling."

“…But you are a werewolf.”

Something dimmed in her eyes, and I felt a little bad for being so pressing with all my questions. But if this was true, and it was all real… I needed to be sure that I wasn’t in any danger.

“In Romania, werewolves are protectors,” she said putting a hand to her chest, “I swear on my life that I will not harm you.”

My fingers drummed along the bed that I sat on, and I took a deep breath before responding with, “Okay. I trust you.”

An excited look lit up her face, as she began to take off her clothes.

I watched, enchanted. Enthralled, by the swiftness of her movements as she pulled her shirt off, revealing her bare belly to me. Even mostly empty, it still sported a bit of a round shape. She had a little paunch that just hung over the waistband of her underwear, straining against the elastic. I stared.

When I heard her giggle, I hurriedly averted my gaze from her stomach and tried, unsuccessfully, to make eye contact with her.

"You like what you see?" she teased.

I stuttered, "Wow... um, I dunno if this is a weird thing to say but your belly looks so... soft..."

"Years of good hunting will do that to you, love."

I didn't really want to think about what she meant, so I slowly shifted my position on the bed, fiddling with the trim of my shirt. Quietly, I asked, "Have you ever done this before?"

She smiled and shook her head. "No, never. But you're so small, I should be able to get you down easily. You're like a baby deer."

A hot flush spread across my cheeks as I hummed in satisfactory embarrassment.

"Do you look for baby deer when you go out hunting?"

"No, no! Of course not. That is... not for me. I prefer not to go after fawns. They are in the prime of their life, no? And it feels, for me at least, that it would be cruel to snuff them out at such a tender age."

“So, I guess I'm your first, then..." I chuckled.

A wide, warm grin spread across her face as she approached and sat by me. I felt her strong hands on my thighs. Her voice was sweet, and I shuddered at her hot breath on the side of my face as she leaned in to whisper her melody to me.

"My sweet, sweet fawn," she purred, "these lips and jaws will be so honored to have your small form pass between them, squeezed so snugly into my depths…”

She sniffed at me, licking her lips.

“You smell delectable. Oh, dear, if you could only know how hungry my belly is for you… mmm, yes~ I am quite looking forward to wolfing you down, and keeping you warm during this cold, blustering night.”

"Oh god," I squeaked. I was smitten.

The heat of her round stomach touched my skin like the sun. Tentatively, I reached up a hand. My fingers curled into hers as she took it, grasping it gently. She led my hand over to the soft swell of her belly and I felt goosebumps break through on my skin as I made first contact.

Much like her, the resonance of her stomach made me feel safe. It talked to me with a low and constant grumbling, the groan of a hunger aching to be satisfied. I felt her belly growl against my hand. Oh god, I could only imagine how it must feel to be in there. It actually made me lightheaded.

"Wow…” I whispered, pressing the palm of my hand into her skin. "Your body sounds beautiful."

She flashed a coy grin at me. “The moon is up now.”

~~~

I watched in a mix of fear and admiration as she transformed. Bones shifting and cracking into place, ears and jaw muscles elongating… despite the awful noises, it didn’t look painful. I’m sure she was used to this.

The top of her wolf head and the tips of her ears just barely scraped the ceiling, and she stared down at me with a lustful glow in her eyes. A sharp-toothed smile curled across her muzzle, but instead of being scary, the expression actually made me feel kind of warm inside.

She licked her chops and beckoned me over with a clawed finger. My eyes widened as I watched this movement; her beastly demeanor, infused with all the graceful nuances of a human woman. Even now, it makes for a pretty picture in my mind.

Looking into her eyes, I knew that I was safe with her. I stared up, now pressed against her furry, somewhat swollen belly. The noises coming from inside were downright monstrous. I felt my core heat up, the sensation delving lower all throughout my body, as I slowly began rubbing my legs together. In sure she must have seen how excited I was, because at that moment, she opened her jaws wide and lowered them down onto my head.

Her tongue curled against my face as I entered the slimy cave, whimpering at the feel of so much warm and gooey saliva assaulting my senses. It seemed that first taste was all she needed for instinct to take over.

The gulps were loud and thick, occurring in rapid succession, and I didn’t have any time to think as I was swallowed up by the undulating movements of her gullet and sent down into her powerful stomach. She slurped on my body and growled as the last of me disappeared into her. I’m sure that, despite my size, I made a prominent bulge in her throat…

I could hear only my own breathing for a few seconds as I curled up in the fetal position— welcomed into my new snug home for the night— and then a meaty squelching from underneath me caught my attention, bubbling up into a series of digestive groans. I felt them echo all around my body, and I moaned, all inhibition drowned in that pool of warm acids.

I felt my sleeping bag shift, heard a big slosh of fluids as she flopped over on her side. She was panting and whimpering… I assumed with pleasure. A shrill bark left her jaws and she rubbed at me, pushing against my form, being sure not to hurt me even as she kneaded her prized catch. Me… a prize… I’d never felt so honored to be won as the shifting walls of her belly began to claim me. And as her stomach squeezed me, I came.

I have no idea how long we stayed like that, me and her. Her wolf gut made for a comfy pillow as I yawned and drifted off to the sounds of indigestion I was giving her. She moved towards her bed and tenderly squished me against the mattress, which made me wriggle and squirm. No harm came to either of us as we snuggled together in the most intimate way I know.

I think that overnight, my clothes melted. Or at least, most of them. I remember receiving a text from her days later that my panties were stuck in her intestines. I still don’t know how that happened, but admittedly, it was kind of hot. I got a little wet while I was responding to her.

I’ll never forget my trip to Romania, for several reasons… though if I had to pick one, I’d say that it was because of that stunning tour guide, and her beastly appetite that I had the honor of sating. And to think, that it all started with me watching her eat a sandwich… 💖

[dcbbw]

Prodito

After what seems like forever, I have managed to carve out some writing time in the midst of riding the rollercoaster that is my life now. I am making headway on lots of deadline late stories, and have even managed to finish the first one!

This story is my submission for @choicesflashfics inaugural prompt challenge. I chose the following prompt: “Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.” and it will appear in bold.

The storyline is born of the idea that Liam has a private conversation with Adelaide, the Duchess of Krona, following her lack of support once Barthelemy invokes the Coventus Noblis. It’s really nothing new, but hopefully the perspective these two characters bring sets it apart.

It was also brought to my attention that @queenjilian and I share a head canon regarding the death of Queen Eleanor I and the reasons behind it. I promise, the idea came to me at 2am this morning and was not influenced by her story, Only Time Will Tell. Specifically, check out her Chapter 5 to see her execution for the hows and whys it went down.

Also, unsure if it’s canon or fanon, but I think a majority of us share the belief that Leo’s middle name is Alexander. If not, my usage is purely coincidental.

Now re-thinking posting this story …

THANK YOU to all who looked this over. It’s still a one-shot. (for now)

THANK YOU to all who will read this story; you and your likes, comments, and/or reblogs are appreciated more than you know.

Last thing, prodito is Latin for betrayal.

All characters belong to Pixelberry

Song Inspiration: To the Room, Gabe Gurnsey

Word Count: 2,500

The Duchess of Krona stared moodily out the arched cathedral windows that lined one of her private libraries’ walls. Her gaze registered the full bloom of quince and loquat trees, and the delicate blossoms of Agapanthus, and Mediterranean Sea holly flowers that comprised the small garden encircling the outdoor swimming pool.

But she didn’t see them.

Her eyes fell to the band of gold rimming the lip of the Waterford glass in her hand; she idly swished the remaining liquid, lips twisting slightly at the small amount of drink left. Adelaide didn’t recall drinking so much; she definitely wasn’t suffering the effects of consuming nearly a full glass of overproof coconut rum direct from Comery Isle. Either she had been drinking too much for too long, or the stress of the impending meeting had completely numbed her nerves.

Protection and treason often shared similar traits.

A discreet knock on the closed doors caused the Duchess to turn; two maids entered, both pushing trolleys of refreshments. The women curtsied quickly at the sight of their employer before setting a Victorian English tea service complete with biscotti and finger sandwiches, along with refreshments such as luncheon meat-filled pita wraps, cheese, crackers, and fruit on a sideboard that sat beneath a portrait of the duchy’s noble family.

Adelaide’s pale-blue eyes studied her wedding ring as the women worked; it was a large diamond, almost gawdy in its flashiness, surrounded by diamond chips. The gems sparkled and twinkled in the sunlight pouring through the window.

A symbol of her union to the Duke of Karlington.

She could have been Queen.

The Duke and Duchess over two houses in two countries did not have a marriage, nor did they ever entertain illusions that they would. It was a failed power play, one Adelaide had used to her advantage. She had learned early in life to turn drawback into favor.

“Your Grace, His Majesty has arrived,” one of the maids murmured, pulling the Duchess of Krona from her thoughts.

“Please escort the King here to the library,” Adelaide requested as she looked over her reflection in the gold-filigreed mirror hanging above the fireplace.

Her silvery-blonde hair hung in loose curls about her face, the bangs side-swept; the hairstyle looked stiff and unnatural, but not much she could do with it now. She ran her palms down the sides and front of her simple frock, smoothing away any wrinkles. At 60 years of age, Adelaide still had an hourglass figure, although the sand was beginning to settle in unflattering places.

After a moment’s hesitation, she cinched her belt a little tighter, accentuating her ample bosom.

The Duchess of Krona had a reputation to uphold.

Even before the King of Cordonia strode through the open doors, the Duchess felt his presence. Liam had an authority about him, an almost magnetic pull; one could not help but lay eyes on him.

“Your Majesty,” she curtsied.

“Your Grace,” Liam acknowledged in a curt tone as he sat in one of the many tufted velvet armchairs placed throughout the room.

“I do appreciate you agreeing to meet with me. The invitation was also extended to the Queen; I’m sorry she could not attend.”

“She has business in Ramsford,” Liam explained. “And given recent events, you’re fortunate I deigned to give you an audience.”

“Food? Beverage?” Adelaide waved a hand towards the sideboard. “You may be a bit …  famished after your trip.”

Liam leaned forward in his seat, elbows resting on his knees as his hands interlocked; his demeanor was cold, his eyes pools of flat ice as he looked up at Adelaide, who was still standing. His tone was stiff when he spoke.

“Duchess, let’s forgo the niceties and formalities. You withdrew the support of Duchy Krona and by extension, Fydelia when I needed it most. Tell me, right now, why I shouldn’t strip you of your lands and title?”

The skirt of her dress swished about Adelaide’s still-shapely calves as she made her way to the bar cart. Without asking, she poured the King three fingers of scotch over a single ice cube, and herself more coconut rum. As she headed towards her seat, she paused to press crystal glassware into one of the King’s now unclasped hands.

“Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation,” Adelaide advised. “You’ll need this.”

She sat, crossing her legs at the ankle before tucking her feet beneath her chair. Her eyes carefully appraised the monarch before her.

“You ask for loyalty from those you lie to,” she observed quietly.

Liam continued sipping the Dalmore 50-year-old single malt, raising an eyebrow in inquiry. “I beg your pardon?” he asked in an even tone.

“You entered into an agreement with my daughter for her hand in marriage. An agreement you abandoned, bringing embarrassment upon my duchy and her fiefdom. An act such as that was certain to bring about consequences.”

“Choose your words carefully, Duchess,” Liam warned through gritted teeth as he deliberately placed the drink upon a coaster on the ebony coffee table.

Adelaide shook her head slightly. “The withdrawal of my support in face of the Conventus Nobilis was not premeditated, but an opportunity for us to speak privately on the matter. And save your breath with threats of taking my lands. We both know that by law, you cannot.”

“Laws can be re-written.”

“This particular law is in the original Cordonian Charter, as you well know. Once a family has ruled over a duchy for the minimum amount of 150 years, the family owns the land and its associated titles free and clear, with the exceptions of wartime where lands may be seized for the good of the country, or back taxes owed exceed the worth of said lands.”

Adelaide looked over the rim of her glass, a gleam of triumph in her eyes. “My lineage dates back to the time of Queen Adriana, when our ancestors fought side by side.”

“I can strip the Duke of his titles and lands.”

“I presume you realize that Duchy Karlington is in England? I also presume you are working with the authorities there to make that happen. What you don’t know is, Godfrey no longer owns Karlington. Madeleine does. He bequeathed it to her upon her 18th birthday, and is now technically part of Duchy Krona.”

Liam’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “And yet, your unpunishable treasonous act was not premeditated?”

“Oh, for God’s sake, Liam! Not taking your side in an argument is not treason!”

“THIS IS FAR MORE THAN AN ARGUMENT, ADELAIDE! THIS is an OVERTHROW of the government!” Liam yelled, his deep voice reverberating off the walls of the library. “The support of Cordonia’s longest-reigning Duchess who happens to govern the country’s second-largest duchy would have been a key turning point for both paparazzi and Crown!”

Adelaide rose, needing to eat something before she did begin to feel the effects of the rum. “You’re correct,” she conceded as she carefully stepped to the sideboard, plating a turkey, spinach, and cheese pita and some fruit. For good measure, she also plucked a chilled bottle of water.

“This … coup … has been in play for decades involving once prominent members of Court: The Duke and Duchess of Lythikos, The House of Severus, The Duke of Ramsford, and Godfrey. There are probably many more, but those were the primary players.”

Liam leaned back in his seat, crossing his ankle over his thigh. “But my father only recently died, and not by an assassin’s bullet.” His tone was laced with both skepticism and distrust.

Adelaide met his gaze. “But your mother died at an assassin’s hand.”

The King’s complexion darkened as realization dawned. “Are you saying …?”

Her Grace nodded slowly. “It was a group effort between Lionel, Barthelemy, and Godfrey to unseat Constantine. Had it succeeded, Lionel would have become King. And then he would have been assassinated, leaving Barthelemy a free and clear path to the throne. Naturally, Lionel was unaware of the double cross.”

Instantly, Liam’s complexion paled. “But … but …"

“Godfrey didn’t want the throne. He wanted a marital alliance between Bertrand and Madeleine.”

“I don’t care about that,” Liam spat. “Were they going to kill us all off? There is still a line of succession, Duchess!”

“Eleanor drank from the wrong goblet; she took Constantine's by mistake. Your father was supposed to die, and it was assumed Eleanor would abdicate and return home to Auvernal. The Crown would be effectively vacated.”

Liam stared at the Persian carpeting beneath his feet. “Is this why father sent Leo away to boarding school?”

Silence as Adelaide pondered divulging her secret. She chewed her sandwich as she and the King gazed upon the other.

“Unsure if that was a rhetorical question, but I have the answer: No. Leo was sent away because Godfrey was pushing for the alliance between your brother and my daughter … his sister.”

Adelaide stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror: Her skin was pale and blotchy; vomit dotted the corners of her mouth and rested on tendrils of her hair. Her stomach lurched and roiled, but the nausea had subsided. With a shaking hand, she reached for a washcloth, turning on the faucet with her other one.

In the doorway, Constantine stared at his fiancée through slitted eyes. “How in the HELL could you have been so careless?” he demanded in a furious tone.

“I didn’t do it alone, Constantine! YOU helped, or have you forgotten?”

“How far along are you?”

“I haven’t seen my period in eight weeks at least. I thought it was the stress of the Social Season and now the Engagement Tour, but it appears I was wrong,” Adelaide muttered, leaning forward into the basin to clean the ends of her hair.

Constantine stared at her for a moment before turning his back and walking back to the bed. He picked up the hotel phone, speaking quickly in hushed tones. Adelaide didn’t try to overhear. She was too worried how this would present to her country, her parents. The wedding was still four weeks away; she wouldn’t be able to hide her already swelling belly.

She didn’t have to worry long.

The next day, the Engagement Tour ended; Cordonian Court returned home. The soon-to-be Duchess of Krona was sent to a home for unwed mothers, run by nuns in a mountainous Swedish region. She heard regularly from her parents, and the Duke of Karlington who had been vying with the future King for Adelaide’s affections.

No word from Constantine.

On a cold, snowy February morning, Adelaide gave birth to a healthy baby boy who had her eyes and hair, Constantine’s nose and chin. She named him Dimitri and bonded with her son for two months. One April evening, her parents arrived at the institution to take their daughter back to Duchy Krona.

They brought with them an order from the highest Court in Cordonia, instructing Adelaide to turn the child over to his father, the King, and that her parental rights had been terminated. Anger and frustration flooded her blood; Adelaide became so violent in her fight to keep her son, she had to be sedated.

When she awakened, she was home. And childless.

The headline of the newspaper on her nightstand announced that King Constantine and his new bride, Queen Laura, were the proud parents of Crown Prince Leopold Alexander Dimitri Rys. There was also a velvet ring box from Godfrey. She opened it slowly; through a torrent of tears, she saw the diamond ring and a folded slip of paper on which two words were scrawled:

Marry me.

“Why are you telling me this? What do you gain from it? Liam asked angrily. His eyes were filled with hurt and disbelief, but no tears.

“Because the coup is still in play. Barthelemy has help from a force stronger and more insidious than Sons of Earth or Liberation Army.”

“WHO?”

“Via Imperii.  They have infiltrated every royal court and numerous noble houses throughout Europe, and if rumors are true, the highest levels of American government.”

Adelaide took another sip of the rum as Liam gulped his scotch.

“I realize I’m the laughingstock of Court, that I’m viewed as nothing more than a drunken slut with a penchant for younger men, but I’m the only duchy with no rising crime, building more institutions of higher learning, and attracting more new businesses to Cordonian than any other.” She paused to set her glass down. “Ironically, the very traits that people laugh at are the same ones that make me so trustworthy; they beleive I’m inattentive, and proceed to tell me all the gossip, all the conversations.”

“And this benefits me … how?” Liam asked skeptically.

“Your wife is not Riley Brooks of New York City. She is Crown Princess Valeria Runarsdottir, daughter of Queen Sigrid of Vallenheim. She is betrothed to Lord Tariq; I believe it was his idea you frequent the restaurant your future bride was “waitressing” at the night you met.”

Liam entire complexion blanched; his hands curled into fists. “LIAR!”

“She was given an entire dossier on you, Liam. She knew everything about you: how to pique your interest, how to captivate you, your favorite scents, colors, foods. Your quirks, personality type, interests, and hobbies.

“The pictures that caused the scandal were real; she and Tariq couldn’t stay away from each other. He’s never been found, has he?”

Liam shook his head slowly.

“He’ll resurface once you’ve been removed from the throne.”

“It’s UNTRUTHS, Duchess! Riley would NEVER place our child in jeopardy!”

Adelaide looked at him almost regretfully. “She’s still seeing Baby Eleanor. That’s her business at Ramsford. Bertrand and his family are in Paris under the guise of vacation to escape Barthelemy; Young Beaumont is in Fydelia with Madeline helping to uncover further members of the Cordonian Via Imperii. She’s in Ramsford visiting with the baby and strategizing with the elder Beaumont.”

“MY WIFE LOVES ME!”

“She loves your power, your wealth. She’s working to unseat you, and once that is carried out, Cordonia and Vallenheim will unite, creating a union unheard of in the Mediterranean.”

“I need proof, Adelaide. I need unequivocable evidence of ALL of this!” Liam raged, pacing the room like a caged lion.

“I can provide it, but I will need your word that I have your utmost discretion and complete trust. I’ve only gotten this information by agreeing to go against you in the vote. If word gets back that I’ve alerted you …"

“You have my word. I’ll swear it on the Bible, ancestors’ graves, whatever you need,” Liam promised as his thoughts tumbled.

There was a brisk knock upon the door before it opened.

“Word on what, darling?” the Queen of Cordonia asked as she walked into the room, her eyes darting between her husband and the Duchess.

Liam and Adelaide stared at each other. The door had been shut, it’s wood inches thick.

How much had the Queen heard?

Tagging: @jared2612​ @ao719​ @burnsoslow​ @marietrinmimi​ @merridithsmiscellany-blog​ @queenjilian​ @indiacater​ @kingliam2019​ @bebepac​ @liamxs-world​ @mom2000aggie​ @cmestrella​ @liamrhysstalker2020​  @neotericthemis​ @twinkleallnight​ @umccall71​ @superharriet​  @busywoman​ @gabesmommie1130​ @tessa-liam​ @phoenixrising308​ @beezm​ @gardeningourmet​ @lovingchoices14​ @foreverethereal123​ @mainstreetreader​ @angelasscribbles​ @lady-calypso​ @emkay512​ @jovialyouthmusic​ @21-wishes​ @princessleac1​ @charlotteg234​ @queenrileyrose​ @alj4890​ @yourfavaquarius111​ @motorcitymademadame​ @bbrandy2002​ @eversoaringqueen12​​ @queenmiarys​​ @choicesficwriterscreations​​

[punkspacepirate]

What do I do about my dad?

ok, this sounds like it's going to be really bad. it isn't. his days of being my worst parent are far behind us, and he's pretty cool now. but he is SO adhd. this isn't a prejudice thing, i also have adhd, but that's the point. i got it FROM HIM. and he doesn't know. and it's driving me up the wall.

symptoms include:

extreme absent-mindedness (5 times a day "where are my keys/wallet/phone??!!)

trouble with deadlines (i love my job because i can wait until the last day before it's due in to do anything. i can't focus at all until a deadline is staring me in the face. - verbatim)

fidgeting

prone to addictions / substance use

reckless behaviour

great long term memory, poor short term memory

struggles with emotional regulation

starts loads of projects he never finishes

develops sudden intense interest in a hobby or piece of media

difficulties sleeping

impulsive

do you see where I'm going with this

he has one friend who got diagnosed maybe 15 years ago, and told me that at the time, he didn't believe it because they are just so similar, and all of his mate's symptoms were just quirky habits that they shared. he's since come around bc his friend is more traditionally hyperactive.

so idk what to do. because i'm staring my own diagnosis in the face, and atp, i'm not sure whether to bring it up a lot. if i had been able to go back, 10, 15, 20 years and tell him i would've. but now, he's pretty well adjusted, has finally settled down and got his life together. given that I'm kinda short on parents / pseudoparental figures who respect me, my 'choices', and who i am, i don't wanna cause a rift between us.

tl;dr: do i tell my dad that i got my adhd from him? or do i let it lie?

[diedbutterflies69]

Cars- Bang Chan imagine

Contains: explicit sexual contact, chan as hot rich hotel owner, car sex, slight degradation, blowjob, fingering, etc

Minors don't interct.

Working in one of the most expensive hotels in the country was something you never expected. You were just a normal student who was struggling to meet deadlines and pay for tuitions and so doing many part time jobs. A law student washing dishes in random restaurant and drooling over food, observing the way those chefs used to work with wok , deep fried food, the process fascinated you so much. Even though you were familiar with cooking since a young age it was rather more like responsibility, a chore. And that's how you learned cooking by slowly observing the chefs and utube videos, as changing the entire career dreams at the last year was little too wild and impossible. But struggles eventually leads to happiness, the owner of one of the restaurant you used to work at got surprisingly close with you ,her name lucy a single divorced hot milf she thaught you many skills and tricks with cooking. Your last straw before quitting the law school was getting failed . And just like that a blessing in disguise. She noticed how dishearted you were and then decided to give you the greatest opportunity in your life.

Working in God's menu was every chef's dream, and Lucy made your dream come true. The owner and main chef of God's menu Bang Chan was close with Lucy and just by that using some connections you got yourself inside that paradise, but Chan was a total boomer with you, he didn't wanted to give you job at the first place as you lacked experience and knowledge but he valued friendships way too much to deny Lucy.

Chan was always hard on you, constantly making you work with him, teaching the mystery behind flavours, making you memorize foreign cuisine recipes, you sweared you didn't even struggled that much in law school as there was no one lecture you and expect from you. He acted all tough just to make you perfect and eventually became close, you fell in the pit of one sided love the moment Chan agreed to hire you. What you adored most about Chan was how he always made sure to not make you panic while being near fire, never told you to hurry while cutting vegetables. His this small gestures meant so much too you. And in span of 7 months that baby was finally your boyfriend. Chan was someone who followed his heart and just like that, he confessed in the most cheesiest way possible. And here you are today a great chef with lot of knowledge and a handsome, caring and loving boyfriend. 3 years of loving relationship.

"baby~~ " you said while hugging your boyfriend from the back who was too invested in making a 4 tower cake for his best friend's wedding even though he wasn't much experienced with baking whatever he tried doing was no less than perfection.

"yes, baby? Need anything?", Chan asked you. Even though you have been listening to his sweet honey voice since years it never failed to make your heart flutter.

"stop working now, it's 2:30 am let's go home now", you whined slightly tipping on toes and kissing Chan's neck. Getting a small hum from your boyfriend.

"just few more minutes babe", Chan said turning back and softly giving pecking your forehead . You huffed in response being too tired of your boyfriend's night owl tendencies, you went back to the table and singing a good night in most extra way possible. Chan just smiled at his girlfriend, he too wanted to go home and just cuddle with you but work was trash .

Finally looking at clock it was 3 :15 something, his work finally done. After cleaning up every thing,washing the dishes and shoving the massive cake into refrigerator carefully, Chan happily made his way to you. He too saying baby~ in most extra way possible, he was an true night owl no matter how much he worked at nights without you being by his side he wasn't able to fall asleep. A habit he picked up 3 years ago.

"get up, it's 5 am", Chan whispered into your ear while aggressively moving you to make you leave your dreamland.

"aggh, good morning the love of my life", you said slowly leaving your subconscious world. Even in slight unconscious mind you were flirty and cheesy.

"good morning, it's 5 A.M ", Chan again told you a wrong time just messing up with you.

"what the fuck", you yelled being angry on your boyfriend's crazy work habits , you were glaring at him till he bought his his wrist infront of your face . His watch reading 3 : 08 , being confused and worried for your wrong vision you looked at the wall clock that to read 3:07 am.finally realising you have been scammed.

" you fucking lier", you yelled at Chan for pranking you, but you were glad that he finished the work soon.

"heheh", Chan laughed, he was too cute for you.

"let's just go home", you said trying to keep a poker face, packing your stuff then gripping Chan's hand and walking out of the space.

Going down through the elevator, Chan unleashing his 50 shades enthusiast.

"What is it about elevators?" Saying this and immediately pulling you into a deep kiss, he tasted like chocolate probably from the previous cake flavours, his tongue feeling so good while exploring your mouth, one hand at the back of your neck and the other interlocked with yours. His lips always felt like heaven.

He broke the kiss as the door opened, he adjusted your hair and outfit and locking his eyes with you giving you a warm smile, fully a contradiction to his previous action. This man's duality always suprised you.

"let's go baby~", Chan said getting out of elevator with you, hands interlocked moving back and forth, if someone saw you both they would probably think that you both are possessed, smiling and jumping like kids finally reached the car.

"let me open the door for you", Chan said with a smirk while opening the car door for you , there was not a single human present in the parking lot, creepy vibes but perfect for your both future activities. Chan entered the car and stared at you in the most innocent way possible.

"what?", You asked him giving him the same innocent eyes.

"babe, the kiss made me hard", Chan admitted almost shamelessly his eyes pointing at his pants , and yes it was a great hot site too notice.

"will you melt, till we reach home?", You asked Chan looking into his eyes hands slowly creeping to his thighs dangerously close to the not so safe zone.

"I would rather burst here than melt till we reach home", Chan said holding your hand bringing it straight over his memeber, you blushed deeply at his actions.

"Come on babe, we had done Car sex multiple times", Chan said making you blush and wet down there even more. You got a little too needy as the memories of Chan fucking you ruthlessly on the back site of the car came to your mind. Your hand still palming his cock through pants.

"hop on the backseat", you said almost breathlessly, Chan smirking at your needy , horny State. You both went on the backseat to make a great mess over there .

"aaah" , you moaned loudly as Chan slapped your left boob while sucking your neck. His teeth never failed at marking you all over, his touch was heaven especially whenever he squeezed the back of your neck or roughly groped those boobs. Detaching himself from your neck he gripped your neck in an erotically painful way and forcing you on your knees.

"Suck, use that mouth atleast one time for a good cause", Chan said , his degrading voice mixed with heavy lust. Nodding at his words , without wasting any time you bought your hands to undid his belt and zipper . Palming him through his boxers and finally releasing it from all restraints, you slowly put hs cock inside your mouth, he was really really hard. A fucking long and thick cock he had, you not being able to take him even half way as the position was slightly painful but nevertheless you started bopping your head up and down and palming the remaining with your hands. His loud groans and moans indicated that he was satisfied enough, you increased your speed, occassionally hollowing your cheeks to take him deeper every time. He gripped your head as he was close , he started to move your mouth as he pleased making you gag non stop, it hurted but you liked it so much. " You feel so fucking good, all mine", Chan said breathlessly after a final thrust and empting himself inside your mouth, his cum feeling your mouth in escasty. You sucked off every single drop not wasting anything.

Chan lifted you up from the car floor and made you sit on his lap. You looking fully fucked out, with clothes misplaced and mouth dripping with saliva and his liquid , black mascara tears running down.

"My precious slut", Chan said while making his way to your panties, your jeans were already removed a long ago.

"you want my fingers? Hmm?" Chan said as his fingers were slowly entering your pussy , his cold hands making you shiver .

"yes please sir" , you begged voice laced up with pure desperation and needily grinding on his fingers and thighs. Chan smirked again at you.

"what you want more, my fingers or my cock?" Chan made gave you 2 choices both of them heaven.

"your cock, sir please" You begged again. He finally smiles at you pure ill intention smile.

"Since you are too good girl, I should give you whatever you want", Chan said and finally bought his cock towards your tight leaking cunt slowly entering himself inside you.

"ride", Chan said and you felt like being on cloud nine. Slowly moving your hips up and down in decent speed . His cock fitted so well inside of you, it was pure bliss for you.

But without a warning Chan bought his hands towards your clit and pinching it making your whole body jolt in overstimulation.

" babe,you are too good, so deserve my fingers too", Chan said with a sadistic smile.

It's gonna be a long morning.

[ojisanmuramasa]

Twitter Shadowpeach Drabbles, Part 1

gonna start reposting my lil shadowpeach drabbles from twitter to here, cause why not? or would that be called cross-posting? idk, anyway, i was running on no sleep, after a work shift, and was typing this for hours, so forgive me for any weird grammar or if anything else doesn’t make sense. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ yeah, so- shadowpeach AU. Mad scientist Sun Wukong and his master piece robot Six-eared Macaque, with Assistant MK. Let's nickname this, the Dance Robot Dance AU, since that's the song that inspired this! Sun Wukong is a genius mad scientist, prodigy inventor, and unparalleled roboticist in this AU, with loyal fanboy MK as his assistant. Sun makes insane and oft not thought impossible contraptions, MK at his side, solely to satisfy his endless hunger to challenge what is possible and what is truly impossible, and bend the laws of nature and the world to his whim. Prideful and a bit maniacal, questioning his talents is a mark against that pride and a grave mistake to make. Only someone equally prideful and maniacal would do such a thing. Enter Red Son. At a science convention, the conversation somehow ends up on the topic of whether or not someone could create a robot advanced enough, that it could develop and feel emotions, on its own. Wukong, ever the optimist, thought it difficult but not impossible. Red Son, on the other hand, thought the opposite- finding it to be a nigh impossible and fruitless endeavor to even think about, while thinking what use does a robot with emotions even have? Besides, even as quote on quote ~talented~ as Sun Wukong is, even he couldn't accomplish such a feat. Of course, such an insult towards him and his talents, would not be tolerated. Enraged, Sun would make a hasty bet, that if he couldn't build a robot fully capable of fully feeling emotions within 2 months, Wukong's next 2 grant checks would go to Red Son, and if he succeeds, Red Son's next 2 grant checks would go to Wukong. The bet sealed by verbal agreements, Wukong would storm out of the convention center, yelling out, "COME ON, MK, WE'RE GONNA MAKE YOUR BOYFRIEND EAT HIS DAMN WORDS!!!" Then... the agonizing process of actually going about designing and building the robot. Hours turned into days, days into weeks, and the weeks almost closing in on that 2 month deadline. Blueprint after blueprint, the design was settled on. Build after build, a stable body was finally put together. The first real wall, was actually getting the damn thing to start up! Whenever he would boot it up, it either explodes or instantly shuts back down! Things... were looking hopeless, unfortunately. 2 days away from the 2 month deadline, and Wukong and MK just could not get this damn robot to start up.

Resigned that he might not be able to conquer all that is impossible, Sun gave it one last try, to start up the handsome robot, that he built in his image. 5 minutes pass, after Sun asked MK to flip the switch.... nothing. A heavy sigh leaving his lips, Sun and MK hang their heads in defeat. Until... "...Hello?" The quiet, raspy sound of a robotic voice speaking for the first time echoes out into the tense laboratory. "MK... He's, he's-" "Activated, Doctor Wukong." "No- he's alive, HE'S ALIVE, MK!!! ALIIIIIVEEE!!" The mad monkey scientist and his assistant hoot and howler, dancing around like the excited idiots they were. The poor, new to this world robot monkey, curled in on himself and stared with wide eyes at the whooping and hollering doofuses. "What is going on???" Sun and MK stare at each other, then back at the robot. "He's curling away in fear and confusion, sir!" "He's experiencing fear and confusion, kid!" "HE'S FEELING EMOTIONS!!!!" "CAN YOU FOOLS STOP YELLING AND TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON, WHO YOU ARE, AND WHO I AM?!" Silence. "... He's right, we should calm down, sir." "Yes, I suppose we should." So the two took their time, introducing themselves and  teaching the robot about himself, giving him his names: 6-eared Macaque, his model and title, and Liùěr Míhóu, a more personal name. Now, with all that settled, it's time for the monkey scientist to make Red Son eat his words! Sun Wukong is the scientist that will conquer the impossible, after all!!! ... But does the impossible include the impossibility of his perfect robot falling in love with him? Bonus: Visualization of Sun presenting Macaque to Red Son, and RS being judgy about Mac's design.

[mypoisonedvine]

Love, Theoretically | Sebastian Stan x reader (Chapter 8)

(chapter 1) (chapter 2) (chapter 3) (chapter 4) (chapter 5) (chapter 6) (chapter 7)

series summary: having lost your husband, sister, and best friend all to the same extramarital affair, you ran away to a secluded villa in the Hungarian countryside to write and get a little time away from the life you’d left behind.  you were only looking for peace and perhaps some inspiration for your novel, but instead you found an unlikely connection with the immigrant repairman– even though the two of you don’t speak the same language.

word count: 3.4k

warnings: smut... a minor injury... a motorcycle... a teeny tiny bit of angst?? honestly it's just pretty normal aside from the smut

You actually fell asleep without anything too untoward happening, just kissing and cuddling and whispers that didn't make much sense to each other but still made your heart flutter each time.

Waking up, though, was another story entirely.

"Arăți frumos în timp ce dormi," he mumbled into the crook of your neck, pulling your hips back so you could feel his hard cock against your ass. You hummed and snuggled up closer to him, bathing in his warmth as much as possible.

“I swear I’ve never slept so well in my life,” you mumbled as you reached back to run your hands through the hair at the nape of his neck. “I need you in my bed all the time so I can finally get some rest.”

He smiled against your skin, sucking on that spot just behind your ear that made your eyes roll back in your head. “Il vrei?” he asked huskily, and you didn’t even care what he was asking; when he said it like that, the answer was always ‘yes.’ You nodded happily, biting your lip, as he started to push your panties down and helped you arch your back so he could guide his cock to your entrance.

You still gasped and clutched at the sheets beneath you, you couldn’t help it even if it wasn’t your first time discovering how thick he was. It was just barely painful for one fleeting moment before it faded into that delightful fullness, his strokes long and slow as he sighed against your ear. “Seba,” you whimpered under your breath.

“Sunt mai bun decât el, nu-i așa? Nu te-a futut niciodată atât de bine,” he growled a little, holding you tighter. “Sper că știe. Sper că știe că am făcut dragoste cu tine și că sunt îndrăgostit de tine.”

You couldn’t be sure if it was his words in your ear or his arms so tight around your chest that made it a little hard to breathe, but something was so different about the way he was speaking now than you’d ever heard him before. It was difficult to describe— not quite angry, but so passionate it could almost seem that way. You could feel it in the way he moved inside you, too; he was clearly holding back, like there was a storm beneath his calm surface.

You wanted all of it. Turning back, you kissed him and pulled his hair a little, hoping it would get the point across. It seemed to, considering how he gasped and sped up, fucking you harder and deeper as you moaned a little louder than you meant to.

“Când a fost aici, am vrut să te sărut,” he continued in a low voice, speaking right against your parted lips. “Am vrut ca soțul tău să vadă. Am vrut să te arunc în patul ăsta și să te fac să țipi, pentru ca toată lumea să te audă. Am vrut să știe că sunt eu.”

“Yours,” you said before you could stop yourself, and thankfully you didn’t have to worry too much about the implications of it because he couldn’t understand what you meant. He grabbed your face anyways, stroking your cheek with his thumb as he stared into your eyes.

“A mea,” he purred, fucking you faster until you started to whine and arch your back harder.

“F-fuck, I’m gonna—” you stammered, but he nodded before you could finish, encouraging you with whispered words and a hand slipping down between your legs to rub your swollen clit. You cried out, instinctively reaching out to grab his arm, but he held fast and kept up the pace, sending you tumbling over the edge before you had really prepared yourself for it. Unintentionally, you held your breath for a few moments as it washed over you, the tension releasing finally with a long sigh.

The very moment you began the denouement from your peak, he pulled out and rolled you onto your back, slipping right back in as he slotted his body between your legs. You whimpered and gripped his shoulders, and he got right back to his pace— but this time your body couldn’t take as much of the force and so it began to rock the bed, his headboard slamming into the wall. At first neither of you cared until he glanced up and hissed, “rahat.”

“What?” you asked, sitting up and craning your head around to see he’d clearly damaged the wallpaper there. “Oops,” you giggled, “guess we should take a break and fix that—”

He pushed you back down onto the bed as you yelped, capturing you in a hungry kiss; one arm slipped under your shoulders, holding you tight, while the other reached up so his hand could grip the headboard and hold it still as he started to pound into you again. You moaned weakly and relaxed in his embrace, feeling the bed still rock slightly under you but much more interested in the feeling of his cock slamming right into the most sensitive and overstimulated spots inside your channel.

“Oh god,” you sighed as you couldn’t stop your head from falling back into the pillow, closing your eyes to dodge the way he stared down at you with an intensity that bordered on fury. He moved in to bite at your neck instead, and if you were any more in touch with reality you would’ve complained that you didn’t bring many clothes that would cover his bite marks, but you were much too lost in the sensation he was bringing you for that.

“Atât de bine, atât de bine,” he chanted with a growl, “voi veni… atât de aproape…”

“Yes,” you whimpered, “please, Seba— yes, right there, oh fuck!”

You came again, technically, but it was nothing like the first time— more shallow but less brief, like the pleasure was spread thinner and wider, until you worried your vision would go completely black. He grunted loudly as he filled you, still thrusting roughly with each pump of his release into you, but finally he slowed and sighed, his breaths coming hard and fast as he let go of the headboard and held you tightly.

He seemed exhausted, honestly, and you laughed breathlessly as he collapsed on top of you. “You can’t be so worn out this early in the morning,” you scolded as you kissed his shoulder.

“Nu voi mai părăsi niciodată acest pat,” he groaned.

“At least let me up so I can shower!” you protested, trying to push his limp weight off of you and failing pitifully as you laughed.

“Nu, nici tu nu vei părăsi niciodată acest pat,” he cooed, covering your face in kisses as you laughed harder. Only when you defensively pinched his arm did he pull back and pull out, letting you slip out from under him.

“I’ll be back soon,” you promised as kissed him on the cheek, dashing to the bathroom and getting one last glance at him shaking out his sore hand before you shut the door.

Chapter 38 done… only five more to go, if your outline was to be trusted (which it most certainly should not). Still, you were finally reaching the real height of the tension, the climax of the story likely to hit as soon as the next chapter.

But it wasn’t what you were expecting. It wasn’t what you thought you would write when you sat down here months ago and began with page 1. In fact, it was better.

You sighed a little, looking away from the typewriter for the first time in maybe an hour or more, glancing out the window where the sun was starting to set and painting the whole countryside in an orange glow; but it wasn’t the only thing making the leaves change colors— fall was undeniably on the way, enough so that poor Sebastian was raking leaves already. And, because evil is a real and powerful force in this world, he had started wearing a shirt while working outside.

Not that it wasn’t still buckets of fun to watch him go: you found yourself leaning against the window frame to drink in the sight of him, smiling widely to yourself as he sighed and wiped his brow.

All of a sudden, he turned and caught you ogling, making him grin and you laugh with embarrassment. He waved at you, and you waved back, resigning to getting back to work for just a few more pages…

The creaking of the stairs made you realize someone was coming, but with Sebastian just outside it could only be Mrs. Alberti. With a sinking feeling in your gut, you ran to the closet to rifle through your sweaters, hoping to find something with a high neck. Nothing looked long enough, making you groan in frustration.

She knocked on the door and you jumped slightly. “One moment!” you called out to her, digging up a random scarf and throwing it around your neck to hastily cover the bruises Sebastian had left on you. “Yes, come in,” you finally sighed with relief as you threw yourself back into the chair.

“Good evening,” Mrs. Alberti smiled sweetly as she peeked through the crack in the door, “I just wanted to offer to cook dinner here tonight. I’m making a big recipe so I figured I might as well, unless you had your own plans.”

“No, that would be lovely,” you nodded, “thank you.”

“Just come downstairs in about, oh, fifteen minutes and it’ll be ready,” she explained.

“You don’t want any help in the kitchen?”

She scoffed a little. “From you?”

You chuckled at her brutal honesty. “Okay, point taken.”

“Sorry, dear, it’s just that I wouldn’t want your… Western sensibilities to muck up the recipe,” she defended.

“I can’t blame you,” you smirked. “I’ll be down in a quarter hour.”

She nodded and shut the door again, leaving you to unwrap the itchy scarf from your neck and let out a slow breath.

Of course, with an imminent deadline you couldn’t actually get any good work done, so you just read back over some older chapters and made a couple simple edits. All too soon, you checked the clock and realized you should go ahead and make your way to the kitchen.

You took a deep breath as you stepped into the entryway where the smell of Mrs. Alberti’s cooking emanated through the rest of the house. It brought back memories of when you were here with Michael and she cooked for the both of you. Those memories were wonderful once, then soured, but now you were coming to appreciate them again. Although, it was easier to enjoy them when you imagined the black eye your soon-to-be-ex was likely sporting now.

You took a seat at the table and let her serve you, even though it made you feel a little guilty; you knew she would never let you serve yourself when she was cooking.

“How’s your novel coming along, dear?” she asked as she took her own seat and you began eating.

“Well,” you began with a little sigh, “stories have a mind of their own, Mrs. Alberti. All this time I thought I was writing a thriller— something scary, gritty, maybe even tragic. But I’m coming up on the end of it and I’m realizing that all this time, I’ve been writing a romance.”

She smiled, glancing behind you to the doorway. “Yes, things have a funny way of turning out differently than we expect.”

Wondering what she was looking at, you turned to find Sebastian leaning against the wood frame, wiping his hands on a towel. “Bună seara,” he greeted.

“Sit down, Sebastian, have some dinner,” she offered to him as she stood up to pour him a new portion of soup.

He nodded and sat at the table, “multumesc,” he mumbled when she put a bowl in front of him.

You fell into a comfortable silence after that, everyone eating their meals quietly. It was nice to have a moment of normalcy— your new normal— after such an eventful day previous.

“So,” Mrs. Alberti broke the silence unexpectedly, “you two had sex?”

You instantly spat out your sip of soup, making Sebastian give you a concerned look; you waved dismissively as if to say you were fine, though you coughed a couple times. “I… uhm— how did you—?”

“He was whistling while he gardened today,” she explained, “and you look the happiest I’ve ever seen you.”

“To be fair, I think the first thing is because he punched my husband yesterday morning,” you added with a little laugh.

“And the second thing?”

“...at least partially because he punched my husband yesterday morning,” you admitted.

“Fair enough,” she chuckled, “but don’t think I don’t see the way your shoulders aren’t so tense and you’re smiling all the time. I know a woman in love when I see one.”

“L-love?” you questioned instantly, choking on the word.

“Oh, honey,” she sighed, almost a look of pity on her face, “did you not know? It’s all over your face.”

You took a slow breath and pondered your meal before taking another bite. “No… I knew,” you admitted, “I guess you just put it really bluntly.”

She smiled. “It’s how we do things in Hungary. You should be honest with him.”

“With what words?”

“Sounds like you don’t need them,” she smirked. “I’ll leave you two be, then. You’ll have to tell me how it goes.”

She bid Sebastian goodnight with a little wave, and he nodded back happily; with the back door shut as she headed to her own house, you two were alone again. He took a sip of his soup and you finally noticed the marks on his spoon-holding hand.

“Your hand…” you realized, pointing to it, remembering with burning cheeks how he got that injury.

“Ah,” he smiled, looking down at the purple knuckles and smiling as he rubbed them gently. “Un sacrificiu demn.”

After dinner, you picked up with some reading (so much more relaxing than writing, believe it or not) and Sebastian joined you for the same on the couch.

Just laying together like this— quiet, relaxed, and totally at peace— was igniting feelings inside you that you had gone without for so long that you’d forgotten they existed completely. Resting your head on his chest, between the unbuttoned halves of his shirt, you could hear his heartbeat and it was soothing yet invigorating somehow.

He held his book up over your head while you used one hand to hold yours open and read through the space between his chest and his arm. It wasn’t the most ergonomic position necessarily, and your arm was definitely getting tired, but it was worth it to be close to him in these little ways.

"Book?" he asked innocently after a long stint of silent reading, setting his own aside to look down at you.

You closed your book and looked back up at him, resting your chin on his chest. "The book I'm reading? It's good," you nodded (as much as you could without stabbing him in the sternum with your chin, that is).

"Nu, book ta," he clarified, poking your forehead, before making a motion like he was typing.

"My book!" you realized. "Yes, the book I'm writing, it's nearly done…"

Your heart started to sink inside your chest.

"And when it's done, I'll go back to London. Like I planned from the beginning. And it'll be published and I'll start from scratch at a new life… alone.”

You cleared your throat and looked away. “Ești în regulă?” he asked quietly, sounding concerned.

You shook yourself out of it, smiling back up at him. “Let’s go into the city tomorrow,” you decided. “I need some things, if I’m going to be staying longer…”

He seemed to appreciate that you were telling him something, but couldn’t determine what. “Nyíregyháza,” you explained, “let’s drive into the city.” You pantomimed a steering wheel to explain yourself better.

“Ah,” he nodded, “nu într-o mașină. Îmi luăm bicicleta.” He returned with the motion of steering a bike— and when he curled his fingers to rev the proverbial engine, you realized he meant a motorbike. “Motocicletă,” he smiled.

“You drive a motorcycle?” you realized with a little gasp.

“Da,” he grinned, a little more mischievous than before.

“Oh, you really are gonna be the death of me,” you laughed. “Let’s go see this bike of yours.”

He helped you up off the couch and escorted you to the shed across from the house, the last light of sunset just barely enough to illuminate the way. You knew he worked in here sometimes, but you never realized he was doing mechanic work— indeed there it was: a motorcycle, right by Mrs. Alberti’s car, clearly quite old but restored to decent condition. “Iată-o, fetița mea,” he announced as he raised his arms to present it to you.

“Wow, you’ve been working hard,” you realized as you looked around at all the parts and tools strewn about.

“Avea nevoie de un alternator nou și ceva de lucru în interiorul motorului, dar acum funcționează la fel de bine ca nou... dacă nu chiar mai bine,” he enumerated as he knelt down in front of it, grabbing a towel to rub a spot of dirt from the headlight. “Vrei să conduci acum?”

You tilted your head.

“Acum,” he repeated, standing up and pulling you closer, tilting his head back toward the bike. “Sa mergem acum.”

“You want to go for a drive now? It’s pretty late, I was about to go to bed,” you protested meekly.

“Haide,” he smiled, stepping back and pulling you with him. “Plimbare pe spate.”

He handed you a helmet that had been resting on one of the handlebars, and you dutifully put it on as he got on the bike and fiddled around with it for a moment, kicking out the kickstand and finding his balance before getting it to start with a roar that echoed around the shed. He beamed proudly, looking up at you. “Eh?” he prompted with a nod.

“Yeah, it sounds great,” you encouraged with a thumbs up.

“Ce mai face casca?” he asked, leaning forward to knock his fist on your helmet lightly, making you laugh.

“Yeah, it’s good,” you nodded.

“Atunci alătură-te mie,” he instructed as he patted the seat behind him. You took a quick breath and got on, wrapping your arms around him. “Mai strâns,” he mumbled, pulling your arms in to hold him tighter. You smiled and rested your head on his back, yelping slightly when the bike lurched forward and he steered you out of the shed and into the grass outside. He was very slow at first until he steered to the gravel road, at which point he instantly picked up speed until the wind whipped at your face. His unbuttoned shirt was flying in every direction, leaving him totally unprotected from the night air, but he didn’t seem to mind, holding fast as he took you down the road, hugging the turns letting the headlight illuminate only as much as he needed to see.

When you looked up, you could see the stars more clearly than ever. You sighed and hugged him tighter, amazed at how they didn’t move at all while the world on the ground flew by. It made sense, obviously, with them being millions of miles away, but it was jarring how different the speed of the world could look from different perspectives. And as exhilarating as it was to see the countryside roll by in a blur, you preferred the steady night sky; you didn’t want to think about this moment flying by, about the fleeting nature of all of this. You wanted to believe this would always be here, just like the stars. You wanted to focus on the things that would never leave you, the moments that would become lifelong memories, and not on the reality of how beautiful things are not usually permanent things.

“I love you,” you whispered against his ear, quiet enough for your words to be blown away into the night. A small tear left a hot trail on your chilled skin, blown back over your temple instantly by Sebastian’s acceleration.

In silence, you drove into the unknown with him, letting yourself forget about the rest of the world for just a little while longer. You deserved that.

[pennylanewrites]

I got seven different asks about the College AU so here are some headcanons I have about them! (imagine aiura is in the picture I couldn’t find a good one with all of them)

I definitely didn’t mean to make this so long but I can’t help it I love them all so much<3

~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~

Saiki Kusuo

→ marine!!!biology!!!major!!!!!!!!

→ doesn’t need to study but he still does bc he finds marine life so fascinating

→ read all of his textbooks on the first day bc he was so excited eeeek

→ always wears his germanium ring in class so he can stay hashtag focused

→ him and aiura have to bail toritsuka(didn’t go to college) out of jail once a month

→ speaking of aiura, she somehow has convinced him to go on a date on five different occasions

→ i think after high-school he realised he didn’t mind a kind of casual not-relationship with her

→ lets her hug him to greet him and sometimes he hugs back bc college boys stare a lot and he is just worried for her okay?

→ maybe I’m just projecting bc I kin aiura

→ does not go to parties unless he absolutely has to

→ if he does go to a party he’ll drink something quietly in a corner, just watching the crowd

→ a perv laced Teruhashi’s drink and almost lured her up the stairs so of fucking course Kusuo sprinted to help her, holding her on the way home bc men are drawn to her like bees to honey

→ she didn’t let him live it down ever

→ he rented a studio apartment and keeps it super clean, minimum clutter but enough to look lived in

→ cooks amazing food that Nendo smells from upstairs and next thing you know, they’re all bringing chairs to Kusuo’s apartment and have dinner

→ nothing excuses the fact he makes at least eight servings every time–

→ such a dad to everyone honestly

→ usually studies at a library or teleports back home if there’s a big test

→ mrs. saiki was banned from visiting every two days but she still ends up there somehow

→ not that he minds bc he’s the biggest mama’s boy ever

→ probably graduates a year early

→ doesn’t move away even though he got a job at the aquarium at the other side of the city help–

Kaidou Shun

→ fine arts major you can NOT change my mind

→ doesn’t do good in theoretical subjects but mans can draw some good bowls of fruit

→ wears those stained from the paints t-shirts all the time bc ‘no they’re not dirty it’s art!’

→ him and aren have small designated spaces in their apartment so they can focus on their hobbies/studying

→ his corner at the living room has newspapers on the floor to protect it from the splattering paint, some canvases propped up on the wall and a lot of unfinished projects

→ hides all of them when Nendou comes over

→ can not cook or clean to save his life

→ so he calls his mum to help clean up when Aren is at work

→ got over his 8th grader syndrome at some point

→ still wears red bandages bc he’s edgy

→ volunteers at the neighborhood exhibit centre

→ got asked to showcase his own works for a night and hasn’t shut up about it since

→ goes to yumehara for relationship advice and braids her hair as a thank you

→ couples sleepovers with Yumehara and Teruhashi (yes they’re dating shut up)

→ always makes something for Aren at special occasions (birthdays, anniversaries etc)

→ at first he went back home every saturday bc he missed his family :(

→ Aren helps him get over it though!!!!

Nendou Riki

→ got in on a sports scholarship

→ we already know he couldn’t be accepted in a college otherwise

→ in the chiropractic major bc he wants to be one of those athlete doctors

→ has failed way too many exams and classes

→ Hairo helps him so much though!!!

→ the last one in the group to graduate but somehow gets a job first (excluding Saiki)

→ him and hairo get up at 5 am for jogging or to hit the gym

→ and then he goes and gets noodles bc ‘if noodles aren’t for breakfast why do shops open at 6 am?’

→ hasn’t stepped foot in class in months

→ he gets decent grades after failing the first semester and it’s totally not Saiki’s doing

→ he ends up signing up for way too many clubs

→ attends all of the meetings and has so many friends through them

→ I would be his friend too in college honestly

→ a fraternity wanted to get him bc he’s so good at sports

→ he declined bc he does not understand how fraternities even work

→ is the life of EVERY SINGLE PARTY change my mind you can’t

→ whatever you do don’t imagine nendo surprising his boyfriend with flowers after every practice

→ *dies cutely*

Kuboyasu Aren

→ SOCIOLOGY MAJOR

→ idk I just think he would enjoy Marx’s Capital

→ debate club? hell yeah

→ gets in philosophical conversations at the school yard for HOURS

→ kaidou has to drag him away

→ only shops at thrift stores and makes coffee at home bc “capitalism is not accepted in this household”

→ rides his motorcycle to college even though he lives five minutes away

→ grew his hair out in a mullet again and he looks *chef’s kiss*

→ thought he would be moving too fast if he asked Kaidou to rent an apartment together

→ aiura convinced him it was fine

→ cooks kaidou’s favorite foods every day

→ participates in student rallies, human rights protests etc etc

→ comes home with bruises and kaidou thinks he looks so hot but still yells at him

→ Aren’s favorite place to study is his balcony or at a coffee shop

→ always with kaidou! cute boyfriends who do everything together!!

→ gets so drunk when they go out

→ drunk karaoke with kokomi yes yes yes

Hairo Kineshi

→ did someone say Athletic Training?

→ does every single sport and is amazing at it

→ will cheer for his bf if they have a game at the same time though

→ it was his idea to move in together bc ‘hey we’ve been dating for three years now might as well’

→ volunteers at a nearby elementary as a coach for the kids

→ SO GOOD WITH KIDS

→ wants to be a P.E. Teacher and he’s going to be great at it

→ does everything he can at campus

→ helping random clubs, making posters, cleaning up the hallways, helping the cheer squad with their new routine

→ dances ballet as a hobby even though he’s so good at it that he could be a professional

→ makes everything a competition with Nendo so they never get bored

→ once made everyone get up to jog with them and they ended up sleeping on random benches while Hairo and Nendo were halfway across town

→ will punch someone if he sees them catcalling a girl

→ doesn’t drink at all and eats super healthy

→ designated driver for the group’s outings downtown

Aiura Mikoto

→ THEATER MAJOR

→ is so good at stage acting it’s unreal

→ lands the lead role almost every time

→ is also an amazing singer so she gets great roles in musicals as well

→ doesn’t have to get a job bc she gets all her money from doing readings on campus

→ gets coffees and pastries from all the coffee shops around campus and sits Kusuo down so he can taste them

→ they have a little taste-testing date in his apartment until they decide none of them are as good as the ones at Cafe Mami

→ she totally doesn’t make him teleport there every morning and he totally doesn’t listen to her

→ moved in with chiyo bc they wanted a nice place that they couldn’t afford on their own

→ teruhashi told them to move in with her but they already loved their little place

→ aiura’s bedroom is the most comfortable and cozy room ever

→ their apartment is also the hang out spot for the group bc it’s just so homey

→ hangs out with her theatre group a lot, especially after class

→ they can’t compare to her friends though:(

→ everyone goes to her when they’re worried and she loves it bc she’s the mummy of the group

→ she makes everyone coffee and their comfort food before big exams:)

Yumehara Chiyo

→ psychology major one thousand percent

→ you know how they say that people choose psychology bc they don’t know what major they want?

→ that’s exactly what happened except she fell in love with it immediately

→ such a good student!!!

→ always does her assignments on time and still manages to have a social life

→ teruhashi asked her out at the end of their first semester and that’s the first time chiyo missed a deadline

→ practically lives with teruhashi, insisting it’s just to leave aiura alone

→ she’s just IN LOVE OKAY?????

→ would want to be a sorority girl at first

→ changed her mind when she realized how much shit they all talked

→ her and kaidou drink wine and talk about their relationships and studies

→ she’s so sleep deprived it’s unreal

→ she doesn’t need sleep anymore though

→ coffee is her best friend

→ makes asks Aiura for readings twice a week

→ brings all her psychology friends home and they analyze their textbooks

→ once she got the hang of it, she decided to examine Kusuo

→ she told him he needs actual medical evaluation

→ he almost threw her out the window when she offered some Xanax for his nerves

→ chiyo is a neat freak one hundred percent

→ hates when Aiura throws everything on the floor, but she loves cleaning

→ opens her own office after school

Teruhashi Kokomi

→ PRE-MED

→ lesbian doctor :)

→ just wanted to get away from her perv brother at first

→ she always wanted to be a doctor though, preferably a neurosurgeon

→ she’s super duper smart and hates when she gets good grades bc of her good looks:(

→ makes it her goal to show her professors that she’s more than a beautiful girl

→ hasn’t failed a single exam

→ helps everyone with their studies even though she’s drowning in work

→ drops the perfect girl image at college and decides she should try and aim for something normal

→ gets invited to every single party

→ in a knitting club bc it would get disbanded without one more member

→ knits!!!matching!!!sweaters!!!for all of her friends!!!

→ asked Chiyopipi out while drunk

→ never regretted it though

→ her and aren get so drunk when they go out with the group

→ it’s honestly unreal how much they can drink before passing out

→ has to get carried home

→ wakes up after getting drunk and runs to her class before remembering it’s Sunday

→ her penthouse has the perfect view of the sunset and sunrise and is all she could ask for in life

→ does get lonely so she’s practically living with Chiyo and Aiura

→ once she realized she didn’t like boys she made it her goal to get Saiki and Aiura together

→ people wonder how she has so much time to play matchmaker and volunteer while she’s in premed

→ does her internship at a hospital

→ ends up working there as a neurosurgeon after her Doctorate degree

~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~

[bbrandy2002]

Little Shit:

Part 1: Wrapped Around A Finger

This is for week 96 of @wackydrabbles prompt: I can't -- I have a deadline. Prompt will be in bold.

Okay, so I couldnt fit all of this into the 2000 word limit and had to break it up and didn't have the heart to cut.

@kingliam2019​ you made a request for a Little Shit story on New Year’s Eve and it only took 5 months to come up with something, so this one is for you.

If you're unfamiliar with the Little Shit series (because it has been over a year since I wrote anything for it) Nikolas is Liam and Riley's 5 year old mischievous son who just can't help from wreaking havoc, especially toward Drake. He enjoys getting a rise out of him even if he does love his Uncle ... for the most part.

Warning: Crude Language. Mention of Covid and vaccinations.

Word count: 1928

-----------------------

Returning from the stables one afternoon, Drake was stopped at the palace door by security -- again -- for not wearing the required mask to enter.

“Mr. Walker, I’m afraid you need to have a mask on before I can allow you inside. I have to tell you this every day.”

“That because I fucking live here,” Drake grumbled as he snagged the offered surgical mask from the guard. 

“Not in the common areas, Mr. Walker.”

“You know this whole virus thing is just a conspiracy and Liam is using it to control all of us, right? He’s gone mad. This shit’s never gonna end.”

“I understand, sir.” The guard waited patiently as Drake begrudgingly slipped the mask over his face. “Perhaps, though, there is an alternative, one where you wouldn’t have to wear one anymore. They’re offering free vaccines in room 105 today. If you get the shot, you won’t need to wear a mask when you come inside,” the guard cajoled.

Drake let out a humorless laugh.“I’m sure that’s exactly what Liam wants: make a guinea pig out of me. Pump me full of that radioactive shit and in five years I’ll have a tail growing out of my face. No thanks.” Drake disregarded the information and moved past the man.

“But, sir .. .they’re giving away bottles of whiskey to the first 100 recipients. Last I heard, they were close to reaching that number. Top of the line stuff too.”

Drake turned on the heel of his work boots, glaring back, before asking skeptically. “Whiskey? They’re giving away alcohol to get this damn shot?” The guard nodded in response.

“Glenfiddich -- 1955, I believe. The King paid for it himself.”

Drake’s eyes widened in disbelief. “That’s a $90,000 bottle! And they’re just giving them away if you get this shot?”

“I … um … yes. His Majesty wants to reward those who are doing their part to create a healthier and safer Cordonia. He won’t rest until every last citizen is vaccinated from this dreaded virus. We can all fight this … together. What do you say, Mr. Walker? Will you help stop the spread?”

“For a $90,000 bottle of whiskey? Hell yeah! I’ll grow two tails out my heads for -- hold on a damn minute …” Drake burrowed his eyes into the guard who was sweating bullets, desperate for him to leave. “Where the hell is Nikolas at? This whole thing reeks of him..” Drake’s eyes began darting around the perimeter in a feverish search for the little prince’s battery operated car. “That little shit is blackmailing you, isn’t he? I should have known.”

The guard straightened and answered in a solemn tone, “I’m a serious professional, Mr. Walker. And I take your accusations of being anything but, demeaning to the loyalty and oath I’ve given to the Crown. How dare you stand there --”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to suggest otherwise.” Drake ran a hand down his weary face in frustration. “It’s just that kid is the bane of my existence. I’ve had a long, hard day at work and I’m in no mood for his fucking stunts.”

The guard waved him off. “Nah, don’t worry about it. I’ve heard all about the stuff he’s pulled on you.” He leaned in closer and spoke in a hushed tone, “Between you and me, he’s a little pain in my ass too; always coming down here acting like he runs this place. If you ever need help teaching that kid a lesson, I’d be happy to help.”

Drake arched a brow. “Loyalty to the crown, huh?” The man regarded that retort with an awkward shrug. “Yeah, he needs his ass busted, that’s for sure. Liam thinks he just needs a little more love. I’d like to show him the Bianca F. Walker way of love.” He slammed his hands together.

The guard chuckled. “I’m with you on that. He needs something done; he’s out of control … Anyway, you should probably head on up there and get your shot -- and whiskey -- before they’re all out. I wish I’d have waited to get mine until today.”

Twisting his face in doubt, Drake walked around the corner and leaned up against the wall as he pulled out his phone. Something just didn’t feel right, and he determined the safest thing to do was shoot off a quick text to his best friend.

Drake: Liam, are you really giving away Glenfiddich, 1955, to get the Covid vaccine?

He waited a brief moment until a response came through; he looked down at his phone and read:

Liam: Yes.

Drake: Is that all you have to say about that?

Liam: Yes.

Liam: I am in meeting for Cordonia.

Drake tilted his head to the side and scratched at it as he stared at the odd message. He typed out another response.

Drake: What kind of meeting for Cordonia? And with who?

Liam: Top secret. Can't tell you.

Drake: Uh-huh. Where’s Nikolas?

Liam: With Riley and baby in Vallteria

Liam: Shit. Valtoria

Drake: What’s the capital of the United States?

Liam: Damn it Drake I’m in a meeting!

Drake: Then hurry up and answer

Liam: Washington D.C.

Drake: Who shot me at the costume ball?

Liam: You son of a bitch. IM IN A MEETING!

Drake let out a heavy groan and decided to just call Riley. He knew without a doubt Nikolas took Liam’s phone again. If he called Riley, though, there was no way the boy could pretend he was her.

Picking up almost instantly, Riley answered cheerfully, “Hello. Queen Riley speaking.”

“Riley, it’s Drake. I was just wondering if you and Liam were really giving away whiskey for getting this shot? Sounds a little fishy to me.”

There was a moment of silence, then a clicking noise, followed by a long beep, before Riley replied. “Yes. We. Are. Giving. Away …. Whiskey. Get.The.Shot.Drake.”

“The hell is wrong with your voice?”

“I.Am.In.Valtoria.”

“Riley, why the fuck are you enunciating every word?”

“I. Have. A. Cold. And. Must.Talk.Slow. Nikolas.Is.With.Me. And. I. Must. Get ... Going. Bye. Drake ...You. Ass. Hole.” 

Drake rolled his eyes and slipped the phone in his back pocket. “He’s got her phone, too. Damn that evil-ass kid.” He hesitantly made his way down to room 105; it wouldn’t hurt anything just to open the door and see if there was anything legit about this. As he approached, a lovely lady he knew from the kitchen exited with a big smile on her aging face and a bottle she cradled in her arms; he recognized it almost instantly as the Glenfiddich.

“Miss Milly,” Drake greeting kindly and held the door open for her. “You’re looking as lovely as ever.”

“Oh, you.” She laughed bashfully in her grandmotherly voice as she stepped into the corridor. “You’re always flirting with me, Drake. One of these days, I’m going to make you take me out on a date, buy me dinner, and give me a peck on the cheek at the end of the night.” 

Drake smiled back fondly at her. “You just tell me when, Miss Milly, and I’m there.” He motioned to the bottle in her hand. “Say … couldn’t help but notice that bottle of whiskey you’re carrying around; where’d you get that at? That brand doesn’t come cheap.”

“Ohhh, I know. But I heard they were giving shots in that room right there.” She pointed with a crooked finger. “And they said I was the 99th person to stop by, and gave this to me after getting my shot. I couldn’t believe my luck. And they only have one bottle left. I can finally put my grandson through college.” 

“That’s great! And you said there is still one more bottle left?”

She nodded her head. “Yes. But you better hurry. One of the chefs is on his way here for a shot as well.”

Drake hurriedly kissed her on the cheek and opened the door. Thank you, Miss Milly!” He stepped inside, then stopped and whipped his head back out the door. “Milly, wait. Have you seen Prince Nikolas today?”

“Yes, he left with the Queen after breakfast this morning. I believe they mentioned going to Valtoria.”

Drake rubbed his hands together anxiously and thanked her. He’d known the cook for years, she’s the sweetest person he knew. There was no way she would cover for Nikolas, and Drake couldn’t imagine the boy would have any dirt to hold over her head.

When the door shut, Nikolas grinned mischievously from a dark alcove where he was parked in his black 12V Mercedes Benz S63. “This is the day I’ve been waiting for.”

He set his laptop and both parents' phones in the passenger seat and slowly pulled out. He paid $100 to Milly and asked her to put the bottle back in his father’s liquor cabinet and rolled a few paces to room 105.

======

After filling out medical forms, the palace doctor ushered Drake behind a curtain where a long rectangular table and folding chair sat. Taking the seat, Drake watched the doctor slip on a pair of gloves and pull a small tube of lube out of his lab coat pocket. Drake furrowed his brows in confusion. “Heh. What’s the lube for?” he chuckled lightly. “I’m just here for a shot, man. Nothing else is going in me.”

“Just relax, Mr. Walker. It’s all part of the process.” A squirt of clear liquid was squeezed onto the doctor's two gloved fingers as he held them up. “On your medical forms you denied having a physical exam in the past year. I just need to do a quick exam and check for rectal polyps.”

Drake started laughing in amusement, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You’ve got to be shittin' me. So let me get this straight. I can’t get a shot until you stick your fingers in my ass to check for ‘polyps?’ Yeah, that’s happening. What a bunch of horse malarky.”

The doctor let out an annoyed huff. “I see you didn’t read over the information forms. They never do,’ he mumbled. “Look, if you want me to wait here all day while you figure out what to do, I can’t -- I have a deadline to finish here. Now if you’ll move along, I have another patient waiting; you’re free to go.”

And Drake knew he was. But that expensive bottle of Glenfiddich was calling his name. He glanced over to that one last beautiful bottle sitting atop a desk on the far side of the room, calling his name. Selling it for even half of what it was worth would afford him enough to move the hell out of the palace and get the freedom from Nik he desired. Rubbing a hand over the scruff on his chin, Drake's timid gaze turned from the bottle to the doctor. He could handle a finger or two in ass for a few seconds if t made him $90,000 richer. 

“Okay. What do I need to do?”

Nikolas quietly typed on the keyboard of his laptop from the opposite side of the curtain. The images from the hidden cameras plastered on the wall where Drake was seated popped into view on his screen. Feeding a link to, and overriding the broadcast feed at the CBC, Nik crouched down low and waited with little beady eyes for the exam to begin. “Perfect ...Okay, Doc, let’s see if you can get a hole in one.”

----------

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[randomishnickname]

Working on a uni project with ADHD in six easy steps

1. The deadline is far away but this time I'll start early in order not to work in a rush. Look, I'm booting up my PC and --- ooooh got distracted by my emails got distracted by my messaging app got distracted by a youtube rec got distracted by my roommates ooooh it's evening gotta sleep. But that's not so bad, there's still time, thank fuck I started early!

2. Mkay I should really get started the deadline's getting nearer. Look I'm booting up my PC although i really don't want to do this and look i opened up a document i really really don't want to right now and look i started the web search aaaand shit i opened tumblr instead. I should work on the thing tho and i'm feeling very bad about wasting so much time but also i really don't want to. My evening ends with me feeling like shit and hating myself.

3. The deadline is looming in the background of my mind in every fucking moment and seriously how am i supposed to work when i already have a headache from stress? I can't be expected to get started now in these conditions can I. I stare at the wall for hours trying not to cry and end up giving in and reading a random 200k fanfic until I pass out from exhaustion at 5am so my next day will suck even more. Can't decide on whether to coddle or punish myself for these failings.

4. The deadline is so near I can taste the panic on the tip of my tongue. This time when I boot up my PC I get started out of sheer shaky adrenaline and a dreadful amount of coffeine and sugar. I gather information as fast as I can type, and it's all half-understood and half-digested but i slap some elegant syntax and good formatting on it in order to disguise the mess and I hate it, hate to have invested so much energy and pain into something that turned out shitty and that fills me with shame at what could have been if i only put in the time. I reachin the project 1 minute before deadline and collapse in a pile for the next few days. Never again, i swear. Never again.

5. Oh. got a decent grade on the project, neat! Worked out in the end lol. This was easy, what the fuck did I got worked up over?

Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat...

[tomtenadia]

A Little Braver - ch. 5

So, here is ch. 5 for you all.

We finally get to meet the mysterious man that Aelin was kissing.

Also, the firehouse gets a great news

Enjoy it!

Ten days had passed. Aelin had been discharged from the hospital and allowed to move around in crutches providing she took it easy, a concept totally alien to her. She had gone back to the station as soon as she could do it.

The deadline for the performance review was fast approaching and she had spent the last few days at the station. They only got a week extension so she had offered to help but all she could do was sit and direct the show. Also, working kept her mind off… things… and as in things she meant a certain arsehole who had gone completely awol. She had texted him and never got a reply. Lately every time she tried to phone him she was told that the phone was not available. So she had stopped. He clearly was offended by what she had said. She just wished he had spoken to her, explained why her confession had terrified him so much. Just as she had finally found the resolve to try again after losing Sam, he had gone and ruined everything.

A glove hit her face “planet Earth calls Aelin.”

She refocused for a second and noticed Ansel’s red mane of hair in front of her.

“Dorian is looking for you. He is in your office and Aedion is there already.”

Aelin groaned “can they come to the couch? I am so comfy here.”

“Apparently not.”

“Fine.” She dropped the documents she was revising and grabbed her crutches and pulled herself up.

At snail pace she made her way to her office and once she got there she saw Aedion standing in front of her desk while Dorian had his feet up on it and was sitting relaxed on her comfortable chair.

“I don’t care if you are the chief. First, feet off my desk, second, arse off my chair.”

Dorian moved away and let her sit down and grabbed her crutches.

“So, what is so important that I had to leave my spot on the couch?”

Dorian passed her the documents he was holding, with a grin. He was positive this was going to cheer her up.

“No fucking way. You did it.”

He smiled at her smugly “Not entirely my merit.” He confessed “As you remember, the community protested in front of the government in the aftermath of the embankment accident. They did it just before the budget review was due. The government could not ignore them and what you all did that night. And I guess that the statement from your cheerleader had helped a lot as well.”

“Who?”

“Someone I am not allowed to mention in your presence.”

Aelin stare darkened all of a sudden.

“We are getting a second engine, but that engine needs staff.” She pointed out, her excitement taking a hit “I was just getting to that” added Dorian quite quickly, “Thomas has offered to give you a few men to help staff the second engine. It will have a mixed crew of newbies and experienced staff for a while. Aedion and I thought it was the best way to go.”

Aelin nodded “I want to help interview the candidates. Aedion is busy with drills. I, on the other hand, I have plenty of time.”

“As if I can sideline you. You are the captain after all.” Added Dorian knowing full well that if Aelin had her mind set on a task it was almost impossible to dissuade her.

“I want a bigger female presence. I can’t believe that from all the candidates that graduate from the academy there are no good female firefighters.”

“I can spread the news at the academy and see who applies and go from there.”

“Good.” Aelin relaxed on the chair.

“We have also have been invited to a party thrown by the mayor.”

“You are joking.” Aelin hated that kind of party. She had been to a few and it had been a nightmare.

“There is no escaping it. We have all the be present and dress mess is required.”

“My leg is in a protective support, if I wear dress mess I need to wear the skirt which means heels and can you see where I am going with this?” Aelin protested.

“I guess we can do an exception for you. Wear your regular blue trousers, make sure your boots are shining and wear your uniform shirt with the tie, not the t-shirt. And don’t forget the hat.”

“I can live with that.”

“When is the dreadful event?” Asked Aedion who hated those ceremonies just as much as Aelin.

“This Saturday.”

“We are on night shift, you genius.”

Dorian smiled dangerously “Not anymore. Second team is taking the night shift. Let me remind you that attendance is compulsory and pass the info to the team.”

“Yes, Chief.” And Aelin was very tempted to flip him off, but he was still her boss.

“Lys and Elide are to come as well. They are part of the team.”

“Oh so, no one is immune to this horrible shenanigans. Lovely.” Aelin sat back, still annoyed at the invitation.

“No darling, if I have to suffer, you will all go down with me.” And with that Dorian disappeared behind the door.

“Come on Aedion, let’s go and ruin the team’s day.”

Slowly the two made their way back in the common area where the squad was relaxing. Aedion had put them through a gruelling session of drills in the morning and now they needed time to unwind. No one had taken nicely the fact that the review has been postponed only by a week, but at least they hadn’t asked Aelin to attend as well with a destroyed knee. She would be there of course but on the sidelines.

“Ok, people,” Aelin shouted as she slowly made her way to her team “Brullo, switch off the tv for a minute.”

“That doesn’t sound promising,” complained Ren.

“Where are Lys and Elide?”

“In the ambulance doing inventory.” Replied Nox.

“Ok, can you please go and get them?” She asked him.

He nodded and ran away and got back a few moments later with the two ladies in tow.

“Ladies, sit.”

“Uh oh.” Said Lysandra, sitting on Aedion’s lap.

“Now that everyone is here, I have an announcement.” She smiled wickedly and the team shivered. That was her scary smile “Our esteemed mayor has decided to throw a party this Saturday. Bad news is… we are all invited so that he can show us how he appreciates what we do for the community.”

“Fuck no,” shouted Ansel, while finishing the bowl of cereals she was eating.

“We are on night shift.” Added Brullo.

“No we are not. Dorian gave the shift to second team. We are all free.”

A chorus of very rude words erupted from the team. Yeah, everyone hated those parties.

“Oh and by the way… it has to be dress mess.”

The protests grew louder. Aelin let them vent for a moment before putting an end to it.

“Guys!” She shouted, and the room went quiet “I know none of us like those parties, but my hands are tied. Dorian made it pretty clear that this is mandatory. So, protest how you want but there is no getting out of it.”

The team went back to their protest when Aelin raised her voice again “Did I say I was done?”

The group went silent again.

“The second piece of information is hopefully a bit more welcome.” And she really hoped so “we are getting our second engine.”

The cheers that erupted from the team were of pure joy.

“How did you do it?”

“You have to thank Dorian. He is the one who pulled the trick.” And Rowan apparently. No, she was not going there.

“He really is better than his old man. We have been pleading the old bastard for ages and nothing. A few months in charge and Dorian gives us the second engine. If it wasn’t that I am I straight I’d kiss the guy.” Said Ren happily and everyone laughed. 

Good, Aelin thought, they needed the good spirits.

“How will we do for crew?” Asked Ansel.

“Thomas is willing to give us some of his experienced men from one of his engines and take a few newbies. We’ll man the engine with a hybrid crew. Half experienced and half newbies. I need everyone to help with training. Aedion and I will do the main stuff but you guys are involved in this as well. I am out of commission for a while so I can only do classroom training.”

“We’ll help you, cap.” Chimed Nox happily.

Aelin turned to Ansel “I have asked to have a few more ladies in the team.”

“Thanks for that. Far too much testosterone in here.”

Aelin sat back down on the sofa, her knee started to get sore again “We are going to have other women hopefully, just don’t break their hearts.” She told Ansel.

Two of the guys sprayed what they were drinking, Aelin laughed “Oh come on, don’t tell me you had no idea Ansel was swinging on both sides.” Joked Aelin smiling at the woman.

“Both…” asked Brullo still quite shocked.

Ansel drank her coffee very calmly “Men, women, on a few occasion both at the same time.”

Aelin laughed at the expression of the guys.

“Ansel, I think you broke our boys.”

Aelin mobile went off and for a moment she hoped. But that hope had been short lived.

“Give me two minutes,” she said at the person at the phone. She stood and very slowly she made her way back to her office.

Once she got off the phone she stayed in her office to work. Then the dispatch siren went off and she heard the team depart and staying behind broke her heart.

She worked a bit longer but her mind could never fully concentrate. So she decided to do something stupid while the team was out on a call. She booked a taxi and not long after she was in front of the station waiting for her ride.

The driver got her at the airbase pretty quickly. She took out her pass and she hoped it worked even without him about. The man at the main gate let her through after checking her badge. So apparently he had told people she was allowed on the premises. That was a start. Painfully she reached the second check point and a guard approached her. Ok, her luck had already ran out.

“Can I help you, miss?”

“Yes, I am here to see captain Whitethorn.”

The man looked at her with curiosity for a second.

Did she got to the right airbase? As far as she knew there was only one and the first guy let her in.

“I am sorry miss but the captain and his team left a week ago.”

“Left?” Her voice trembled.

“Yes ma’am. They have been recalled and deployed a week ago.”

“Oh.” Was all Aelin managed “Th— thank you.” She turned and made her way back to the exit. Her heart slowly breaking. She sat down on a cement wall and let the sobs come. She took the phone and dialled his number and it went to voicemail “You could have told me. Instead you left. You just left me. Do you really hate me that much?” She sobbed and brushed her hand against her eyes “I hate you and I wish I never met you. Don’t ever bother look for me when you come back… I don’t want to see your face anywhere near my station. I am done with you, captain.” She hung up the phone and lowered her head and kept crying. She was done with men. She was done with pain and a broken heart. It was not worth it.

Eventually she pulled herself upright again and started walking. She had no idea to where, which she then realised that with crutches was a really bad idea. She had to stop a few times, exhaustion taking root. But the pain in her leg was keeping away the pain in her soul. It was much later when she realised she ended up in the west of Orynth and decided to go to west station, perhaps she could bribe the guys to give her a lift back to her firehouse.

Once outside the station, Thomas was the first one who noticed her. He ran to her and Aelin collapsed in his arm.

“Aelin, what are you doing here?’

“I need to sit” was all she managed. He lifted her in his arms and carried her to the section with all the bunk beds. He placed the crutches on the floor and sat on the bed at her side.

“What happened?” He asked when he noticed her puffy eyes “Why are you over here? On your own?”

“I was at the airbase.”

Thomas looked at her in shock “are you telling me that you walked in your condition from the airbase to here?”

Aelin nodded. “Can you give me a lift back?”

“Of course,” he patted her leg “let me go and tell the guys.”

He came back not long after, and lifted her in his arms “Let’s go.”

Once in the car Aelin relaxed and leaned her head against the window.

“Excited about the big night with the Mayor?”

Aelin groaned and Thomas laughed.

“Exactly the reaction my whole team had as well.”

She sighed “Dorian said it’s mandatory and I think for the very first time I have been this close to hit him. But he still is my superior.”

Thomas chuckled “If there is someone who can hit the chief without repercussions is you.”

Aelin turned and looked at him with a questioning stare.

“I mean because you are close. It’s not news that the man is madly in love with you. He might let you off if you beat him. Actually he might even like it.”

This time it was Aelin’s turn to laugh “Dorian and I… nothing ever happened. We are just really good friends. Not even a kiss.”

“So now the news is that you have your eyes set on a certain airforce captain.”

Aelin tensed at those words “You all are a bunch of crazy gossiper, you know that?”

Thomas shrugged “What did he do?”

“I don’t want to talk about him.” Her tone hard and the man at her side realised it was time to shut up. They were at her station anyway.

Aelin noticed the engine was back and she knew she was in trouble. They clearly had noticed her absence. When she decided to look at her phone again she saw a lot of message and missed phone calls from Aedion. Damn, she was screwed.

“Here you are, my lady.”

Aelin leaned over and kissed him on the cheek “thank you so much for the ride.”

“Anytime.” He opened his mouth as if to speak, then stopped and tried again “if you need to talk, I am here. I know you have your friends, but if you prefer to talk with someone who is not around you all day, I am here.”

“You are wonderful.”

He helped her get out of the car, they said goodbye and he drove away again.

Aedion came marching on as soon as he noticed she was back “where the hell have you been? Why don’t you answer your bloody phone? We came back and you were not here, where you were supposed to be.” She felt bad for making them all worry but she did not feel like explaining herself so she just moved past him and in silence she dragged herself to her office and slammed the door shut.

She sat down at her desk and plopped her leg on the spare chair the guys had placed at her side so she could stretch her injured leg, hoping for the pain to subside. She took a few minutes for herself, then texted Lysandra telling her she needed her and Elide.

The two women arrived a few minutes later. They sat on the chair in front of her desk and Aelin knew that Lys was just as mad as Aedion had been.

“Where were you? We came back and you were gone.”

“I went to the airbase.” She confessed, looking outside the window, the sky looked heavy grey and she was positive snow was coming.

“As in the airbase. His airbase.”

Aelin nodded “I needed answers. I needed to know why he left that way. I had to ask him why all this hate.”

“And?”

Aelin felt tears sting her eyes again “he was gone.” She paused “the whole team has been recalled and left for a mission a week ago. No goodbyes. Nothing. He just took off.”

Lysandra stood and ran to hug her friend “what an arsehole.”

Aelin started sobbing again “all I could do was leave him an angry voicemail telling to get away from me forever.”

“I am seriously going to kick his arse.”

Aelin pulled back from the hug “Not worth it remember?”

“We all go to that stupid party and we’ll find you a man there. Perhaps a hot wealthy man.”

Aelin chuckled “You know what, screw it. I’ll remain single all my life and if I want a good time I might ask Ansel.”

The two women laughed “she might take you up on that, you know, right?” Added Lysandra.

“Can we just stop talking about it? Fine he is hot but is he not a nice man. I want to forget that I even contemplated the fact that I had feelings for the bastard.”

“Copy that. I will pass the message along.”

“Have you considered that he might not be able to reply to you because of where he is? Perhaps he is on an aircraft carrier in the middle of the sea.”

Lysandra and Aelin stared at Elide.

“What?” She said shrugging “Lorcan gave me his number, he told me to text him. But he added as well that in the case he was going to leave for a mission not to worry if he did not reply because sometimes their phones don’t work.”

“So you knew they were away?”

“No,” replied the woman lifting her hands “I haven’t heard from him in a while. He is not the greatest of texter and I haven’t spoken to him in a while. I had no idea he was away until now when you told us.”

“Basically airforce boys do not know how to communicate. Got it.” Sarcasm dripping from Aelin’s voice.

Aelin shifted uncomfortably in her chair and Lysandra noticed that.

“Are you okay.”

“Just my leg, bothering me like hell today.”

“Sure, if you only just didn’t walk from the airbase to west station…”

Dispatch alarm went off and the two ladies ran out as the ambulance was needed.

Aelin tried going back to work but her brain was not there.

Out of boredom and curiosity and probably a deep desire for punishment she looked up the captain online. The search engine brought up a page about him. He was only two years older than her. Native of Wendlyn but moved to Terrasen when he was quite young for his father’s job. According to the article he climbed the ranks quite quickly and was thought to be one of the most promising captain in the TAF in a very long time.

“Nerd.” She joked.

Then she scrolled down to personal life and she got even more curious but froze when she read the paragraph.

Fuck.

The man had been married. His pregnant wife had died in a car accident over a year and a half before. She opened the link to the newspaper article about the accident and noticed the picture of the accident site. Her eyes fell on one detail of the image and swore.

She stood and wobbling she went to the file cabinet where she kept the reports for the old cases. She found the one she needed and sat back down. Lyria Whitethorn, that was the name of the woman. She had a look through the case file. She did remember it. It had snowed heavily and the road and had been icy and pretty bad in some areas of town. That accident had been horrendous and it had involved quite a few cars. Lyria’s car had been stuck under a lorry. According to the police it seemed like it had lost control and smashed under the lorry that had crashed against the barriers at the side of the road. She died on impact. It had been an horrendous night. They spent hours working under the snow and only one person had come out alive from that disaster.

She leaned back and felt tears running down her face. They had one big thing in common. They both had lost someone they loved. And all of a sudden it hit her. His reaction. His fear. And for a moment contemplated that he was just as scared as her to get involved again. She closed the file and  grabbed her head in her hands. How badly had she fucked up? 

She took her phone and dialled his number. The number was not available and she left him a voicemail message again “Hey it’s me again. I know you are away and probably can’t get this message. If you listen to the old one as well, just ignore it. I was mad. I did not mean it. I… just… let’s just talk when you get back. Please. Be safe, okay?”

She leaned back in her chair, closed her eyes and cried for both of them, for what they had lost and for the fear of committing again. 

Saturday eventually arrived and Aelin was at home getting ready for the party. Lysandra and Elide had joined her since Lys was going to drive them all.

Aelin had been in a bad mood since her discovery about Rowan but had not told anyone about it. To do so would mean reveal his secret and she could not to do that. It was far too personal.

“You’d think that being barely able to walk would excuse me from such horrible events.” She growled while tying her tie.

“You have been in a funk for a few days. Are you okay?” Lysandra had noticed her bad mood.

“Fine.” She snapped. “I am sorry…”

“Just don’t piss off any politicians, okay? We need them.”

Aelin sighed “I will behave.”

They arrived at the venue not long after and they noticed the already high number of cars present.

“Are we too late to bail?” Asked Elide who had been uncomfortable as well at the idea.

“Unless you want Dorian to rip you a new one, I would leave aside that plan for now.”

The three women made their way to the main entrance where someone checked their names against a list. Aelin for a moment hoped that someone had messed up and forgot to add them.

But that hope died quickly when the man greeted them a bit too happily.

“Ok, are we ready?” Said Aelin gathering the courage she needed to face such a horrible night.

They entered the venue and the notes of classical music hit them.

“At least they have great taste in music.” Commented Aelin staring at the great hall.

Dorian spotted them from the distance and walked to them with a brisk pace “Ladies, you made it. wonderful. Go, mingle, have fun. There’s plenty of food.” He grabbed Aelin’s hand “You come with me. The mayor wants to meet you.”

“What?” Blurted Aelin, sweating cold all of a sudden.

“The mayor would like to speak with you. He met Thomas already. Now it’s your turn.”

“I am not speaking to the mayor.”

“Aelin… this is an order from your superior.”

The woman growled back “Oh, so pulling rank, now?”

“Come,” he repeated.

Aelin turned to Lysandra and Elide “if I don’t come back soon, please come and get me. I love you both.”

Dorian rolled his eyes and he started walking and Aelin followed behind.

Eventually they arrived where the mayor was entertaining some guest and Aelin wanted to turn away, but Dorian sensed her intentions and placed a hand on her lower back in warning.

“Ah, Dorian, I see you have captain Galathynius with you. Wonderful.”

Aelin leaned on one crutch and extended her hand to the man “please to meet you sir.”

“The honour is mine captain. And thank you for coming even in your conditions.”

As if I had a choice and she looked at Dorian glaring at him.

“I just wanted to offer my thank you in person for what you do in the community and what you did the night of the embankment accident.”

“The community comes first.” She commented and Dorian gently nudged her sides at her comment.

“You are absolutely correct, captain. I am aware that you will be getting a second engine at east station, I hope this is a welcomed news.”

Aelin smiled “Very much sir. It has been a long time coming and we are very excited.”

“This is my email,” he gave her a business card “email me. Any idea, concerns or anything else related to your job. I will do my best to make it happen.”

Aelin took the card and was speechless. 

“Now unfortunately being the host forces me to go around and be pleasant with all these strangers. I don’t think there is alcohol enough to survive such an evening.”

He gave her a huge grin, waved at Dorian and walked away.

“Are we sure that was the mayor?”

Dorian nodded dumbfounded.

“Do you think he was drunk?”

Dorian shrugged, just as confused as her “Just don’t loose that card.” The man then left her and she had a moment alone to look around and enjoy the music. She hadn’t been at a classical concert in a lifetime and missed it. Or at the opera. She wanted to go to the opera again.

She had her eyes closed when she perceived a figure at her side. She opened her eyes again and noticed it was Thomas, looking at her in a curious way “Hey you.”

She looked at him and froze. The man in front of her was gorgeous. She was used to see him in his everyday uniform or the fire gear, and his hair tied and under an helmet. She almost did not recognise him. He had his dress mess uniform on, and his hair was free and she discovered it reached his shoulders. 

“I almost did not recognise you there.”

He grinned “I know, without soot and dirt on me it must be a challenge.”

She smiled back at him.

“How is your night going?” He asked, moving closer to her.

“Counting the minutes until Dorian tells me it’s okay to go home.”

She shuffled in her position and he placed a hand on her back “you should sit down.”

“Does this place have a balcony?”

Thomas grinned “Follow me, m’lady.”

“Did you meet the mayor?” She asked as they started walking.

“I did.”

“And?”

“He gave me his business card and told me to tell me if there was anything we needed.” He made his way through the crowd.

“Me too. I am going to email him and ask a bucket load of expensive equipment.”

“I have my wish-list ready.” Thomas commented smiling wickedly.

They arrived at the balcony and once there Aelin leaned heavily against the wall.

“Are you okay?” Suddenly Aelin noticed their proximity. Thomas was right in front of her.

“I am fine.”

“Want something to drink?”

“Please. Wine if they have it.”

He smiled and she noticed his dimples appear “I’ll be right back.” And she felt her face flush hot.

What was happening to her? Why all of a sudden she was attracted to him?

She saw Lys walking by and waved at her.

“What are doing here?”

“Hiding.” She said hurriedly “I have a problem.”

“What did you do?”

“I want to do something stupid.”

“As in?”

“Thomas.” She explained.

Lysandra looked at her friend with a puzzled face.

“As in he is the one one I want to … do”

“Holy fuck,” she exclaimed almost spilling all her wine on her uniform.

“How?”

Aelin looked up “I don’t know. He was here, he was nice, he smiled and I just… have you seen him tonight?”

“No I was with Aedion and the guys.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“Don’t do… anything.” Then she moved away “he is coming back.”

Thomas came back with the drinks and placed them on the ledge beside them.

She had known and worked with the other captain for a very long time. They had gone through the academy together. And never, not once she had ever felt a smidge of attraction for him.

He leaned against the wall just beside her, shoulders brushing gently “is your team ready for the performance review?”

Aelin nodded “Yes, Aedion and I are going through as many different scenarios as possible. They are ready. But I hate that I will have to stare from the sidelines.” She told him “How did yours go?”

Thomas drank some wine “We had a few bad moments. My newbie fucked up a couple of things and threw the whole team off track for a moment but they did recover splendidly. Manon was the best in our individual challenge.”

“Ohh I like her. Can I please get her and Asterin for my new engine?”

“We’ll see.” The man gave her a wide smile that made his dimples come back.

She pinched his side and he grabbed her hands to block her. She stopped and stared at him for a moment and then they both moved at the same time. Their lips met and he pushed her against the wall and she left her crutches fall on the ground. His hand behind her back to hold her up. The kiss deepened and Aelin opened for him and a small moan escaped her.

“Oh shit.” Said a voice at her side and Aelin recognised Lysandra and Aedion at her side.

She and Thomas broke apart quickly. Thomas coughed embarrassed, looked at Aelin and excused himself.

“What the fuck was that?”

Aelin’s hand went to her mouth, her lips still swollen by the kiss.

Aedion kneeled to pick up her crutches and passed them to her.

In that instant the rest of the team arrived.

“Why is everyone out here? It’s cold.”

“Aedion and I just discovered Aelin making out with Thomas.”

“Do you mean captain Hamilton?” Asked Brullo.

“I thought you liked the silver haired fox.” Added Ansel.

“Are you and Thomas a thing now?” This time it was Ren.

“I don’t know okay?” Aelin shouted, frustration rising “It happened.”

“You… happened to trip on his lips?” Nox gave her a smug smile and Aelin would have stormed out if she hadn’t been on crutches.

Aelin placed the glass back on the ledge and started to walk away. Lysandra caught up with her “I am sorry. It just came out.”

“Lys, I don’t care.”

The woman grabbed her arm “Aelin, please…”

“What? I don’t know what I was doing okay? We kissed. And I don’t understand my feelings anymore.” She leaned against the wall, her knee throbbing with pain “I haven’t known my feelings since Sam died.” She sniffled “I work. I throw myself into work because that it’s when I do not think that he is gone from my life.” She closed her eyes and tried to put all her pain back “it just felt nice for a moment to have that again. And I know I am sounding like a pathetic mess… I don’t know why I did it.” Aelin sobbed “I am so tired of hurting.” A tear appeared at the corner of her eyes “you have Aedion. I don’t have anyone.”

Lysandra hugged her friend “I am so sorry.”

Aelin leaned into her friend “we are fine.” She pulled back “but I am going home. I am in a ton of pain and I really want to lie down.”

“I’ll tell Dorian if he starts looking for you.”

“We are off tomorrow. Fancy a girls day? We can invite Elide and Ansel.”

“Yeah. Yeah, please.”

“Good,” Lys patted her shoulder “now go home and relax.”

She was outside ready to call a taxi when she heard a voice calling her. She turned and saw Thomas running to her.

“Aelin,” he stopped in front of her “I am sorry. I have no idea what got into me. I was there and all of a sudden I wanted to kiss you.”

She turned to him and moved closer enough to kiss him. His hand slipped to her waist and pulled her closer. She melted in his arms and felt his hand caressing her back.

“I was going home.” She said against his lips.

“I can’t let you piss off Havilliard on your own.”

She kissed him again and then detached so he could call a taxi.

Their ride home arrived not long after and the journey to Aelin’s flat was not too long. 

They made it to her flat and he lifted her in his arms and walked to the bedroom. He dropped her on the bed and leaned on top of her and kissed her deeply, his hands trailing on the sides of her body and Aelin leaned into the touch. Her hand trailed up to his face and then fisted into his golden hair and pulled him down for another kiss. Maybe it was a mistake but she could not care.

Slowly he started to unbutton her shirt and Aelin did the same for him and not long after they were both naked and Aelin stared at his body and realised the man was so incredibly well built. 

“You will have to lead the dances, captain.” He lowered himself again over her and kissed her in a way that made her forget all the pain and hurt.

It was later, after their adventure in bed. 

Aelin smiled at him satisfied. The man had skills and for a while he made her forget the real reason why that night she had searched for comfort in him.

They were now sitting in bed, their back against the headboard and the blanket covering them up.

“Did we just mess up our friendship?” He asked turning to her “I am not complaining I just…”

She sighed at his side “I think we did it for the wrong reasons.”

He agreed “Epically awesome rebound sex?”

Aelin nodded and Thomas turned to her “you are stunning though, and if the captain can’t see it, well, it’s his loss.”

“You are a sweet man” and she caressed his face “and your ex is a bitch.” She grabbed his arm and pulled him down, “fancy watching stupid movies? We can also order in. There’s a place round the corner that stays open till late. I had no food at that stupid party.”

“I’ll get the beers.” He said getting off the bed and putting his briefs back on. 

Aelin grabbed a discarded t-shirt “I’ll order the food.”

He came back with the beers and offered one to her “to our own party.”

They clinked the bottles and went to camp on the sofa.

TAGs: 

@rowaelinismyotp

@swankii-art-teacher​

@courtofjurdan

[incarnateirony]

what's shot 46? should we keep an eye on that? i remember some spec that would be cas' last appearance before all the PR made people pivot to full on anxiety "he's not in the episode"

There’s a variety of potential “last” shots.

I’m still staring into the abyss of 28pt4, myself. It’s incredibly strange that they shot it early... twice... with the rest not being handled for almost two weeks. Which tells me they needed someone or something incredibly specific, close to the beginning of shooting, for that particular scene. 28pt1-3 appears to be entering and battling masked monsters in the barn, and they didn’t need whoever was there early for those parts, but they needed it for part 4. Which... 

46 does fall into the possible list board range, but here’s the thing:

There are very few scenes we know what the shots ARE.

We know 47/47A are the brothers sitting around outside the impala in that cute town setting, I’ve presumed preparing their goodbyes. So yes, up to 46 would be possible. Hell, after 47 would be possible. 

These are the highest possible days I can see Misha in (I know it’s 19 boards but look closely at the actual shots):

Notice 46 is there.

From 20: 11, 12, 20, 28pt4 (2x), 46.

The boards are Aug 19, Aug 21. Remember the Misha dirge he posted on the 20th saying he hadn’t been on set? Despite the dramatic zoom on the goddamn tapeball showing his colors from recent years that fandom mysteriously thinks is yellow but it’s been Green?

Here, have a Misha heavy episode:

This is the most conservative estimate of what I see out of Misha’s vancouver timeline, but only accounts for 2 days, as opposed to his original 5 day statement back in Vancouver. However, covid arrangements may have warranted shuffling and trying to bulk out as much Misha as possible early on to save on accomodations, and we ALSO know 19 & 20 are both missing about 30% of their shots, so the 3 other filming days that week may have very well even had other 20 shots, who knows?

Now, that’s again--most conservative estimate. Based on what we saw, Misha deadlined his streaming for the most part after this (in which the goddamn Van cityscape was visible outside of his window in parallel to him being in Van via Charlie before Charlie deleted lmao), and the only visual we get of him afterward was his Aug 25 post for Sam Smith (x)

The vaulted ceiling seems to change but it has the same HP Slam walls as the other unit; we have no context for this shot, but a great number of rentable extended stay suites in Van actually have these, if he rented a furnished apartment instead of a bog standard hotel to go insane in for a few weeks. And depending on the complex, can still be a relative highrise like his hotel view was.

Now, ep 20 shots don’t begin actually appearing on the board again until um... well, it starts being officially 20 Aug 28, or basically at the end of the week I consider “reasonable range”, with the Aug 25 post in mind:

The next week does not begin until Aug 31, which I am more tentative about misha being at. You can find all the QOTDs here (x)

On the second day of the week of Aug 31, they start heavily mixing 19 scenes into the boards as if to compensate for starting heavy with 20 scenes. Across all boards, both episodes are missing about 30% of their listed shots, so we have literally no idea when they were filmed.

28pt1 starts filming Sept 2, and the parts continue through the 4th.

September 11th, Misha surfaced from being invisible to the world with a roughly one week beardfuzz saying he had been on a camping trip. This would put him in range, via ~shaving~, of being at Sept 2-4, but I’m not entirely sold. 

When it comes down to it, the biggest most suss thing is that the ENDING of shot 28, pt 4, was shot Aug 21, but the rest of it was shot 2 weeks later?

So despite beard being small enough to possibly have been there, I don’t think he actually was in that particular week. I could be pleasantly surprised, and you can check the quote boards if you want to consider that. 

What do we know about shot 28:

Cool, it’s the barn scene where Sam and Dean are facing weird masked shadow people. So shots 1-3, they walk into a barn, get jumped, and fight shadow monsters and then *something* important enough happens that part 4 was shot weeks earlier for *reasons.* Got it. 

It’s so weird that fandom seems to have missed this.

I dunno, maybe they just needed alastair to fulfill the 15.01 pennydrop and that was the day for it but I really doubt it. Considering Heyerdahl lives in BC and wouldn’t need special accomodations being paid for. He could just kinda stroll in whenever. So that’s not it. It’s not Billie, not only did she say goodbye but even if she didn’t, she also lives in Canada. In fact, most potential big players won’t need that kind of accomodation like J2M do. 

Keep in mind folks: whatever leak you think you’re working on, check it closely. The original March 18 leak? Came attached to claiming Cas wasn’t even mentioned in 19 by supposedly reading the script. How did that work out? What about the spoilerglasses I chuffed off by disregarding their attempts to throw liminal script bits of 17 at me that also claimed Wayward characters were going to die brutally and disrespectfully in 19 and their friend saw it on a nearby lot? How did that turn out? What about the fact that one leak-bearer has two sources that oppositely say that there’s no Cas in 20 and another that says it’s a TFW positive ending, Cas doesn’t end up human, etc etc, and has a bunch of specs on it? 

They’ve endgamed yall. And everyone acts like their basic wordplay on things like “story, show, scripts, page, fictional character” in PR would be ridiculous lies in the same show that made up an entire fake Abominable Snowman movie in the past to cover Jim Beaver coming back. Like, you’re... oh, you guys are serious, you’re actually believing this. lol ok

After that, Misha shaved again, got a haircut, mentioned traveling for his new Amazon movie from a different apartment/hotel -- an Amazon movie filming in the US, not Canada by the way -- then came back a few weeks later with a beard again, much denser than the Sept 11 beard.

[hermannsthumb]

I know you don't usually write PRU stuff, but if you ever feel inclined, here's a ficlet idea! so: Newt is trying to fight off the Precursors by constantly reminding himself that He Is Human. but whenever newt thinks about what makes him Feel Human, the answer is always hermann. so newt starts conjuring up vivid mental images of hermann (doing mundane, hermann-y things) to ward off the Precursors. bonus point if, like, newt fondly remembering smth innocuous (like the scent of Hermann's chalk dust?) is enough to actually sever the alien mind control.

Anonymous asked: Maria!!! Would you ever write an angsty post uprising prompt? Or even a pre uprising? Anything with Newt fucking around with Kaiju and being sad i am HERE FOR 👏

in honor of the sequel’s 3 year anniversary, let’s try something a little different 👀 THIS ONE GOT AWAY FROM ME RE: LENGTH....I'll leave it up to interpretation whether or not the bonus is wholly fulfilled.... also on proofing this I realized it might need content warnings? so vague refs to disordered eating and alcohol drinking (ie, newt’s body is inhabited by aliens who forget how human stuff works)

-----------

Honestly, Newt’s life has been kind of a shitshow lately. He’s too, like, high strung. Too many responsibilities. Not enough hours in the day to get that shit done. He’s even higher strung than he was during the war, which is nuts, because certain doom was lurking around every corner. Maybe that’s why it’s not that nuts, though. The war was chaotic—and Newt’s fueled (or, used to be fueled?) by chaos. The kaiju were unpredictable. The kaiju didn’t run on a 9-5 schedule. The kaiju didn’t expect Newt to have three new jaeger prototypes on their desk by noon on a fucking Saturday, which is usually the day Newt spends two hours in his expensive bath tub and drinks a nice bottle of wine, and definitely not a day he wants to spend giving himself a stress migraine and shouting at underlings to make themselves useful. On top of that, his usual cafe got his coffee order wrong—when Newt had to run in to get it, himself, on a Saturday morning—and it only had half the espresso shots he really needs for the day. No wonder he’s going grey at forty. Fucking nightmare. Stable employment is exactly the kind of chaos that’s bad for Newt—give him the kaiju any day, thanks.

“Dr. Geiszler?”

Newt pushes his sunglasses up, and scowls at whichever one of his employees has dared to interrupt his catnap. The fluorescent overheads are brutal on his poor eyes right now. The lab needs more natural lighting. Maybe if he complains, they’ll knock out some walls in put in a few more windows. “Did you find any Aspirin?” he says.

Wordlessly, Newt’s assistant passes him a bottle. Newt pops the cap off and takes at least four. The coffee he washes it down with is cold. “How are the last simulations coming along?” he says, flicking his sunglasses back down. He seems to have so many migraines these days. It’s the contact lenses, he thinks—making the switch over from frames so late in the game. Screwing with his perceptions. Newt went thirty years with frames, after all. “We only have two hours before—”

“We’re almost done,” his assistant cuts in. “We’re working as fast as we can, Dr. Geiszler.”

“But are we gonna make the deadline?” Newt says.

She fidgets, and moves her clipboard to her other arm. “Well—we’ve had some—issues.”

Newt stands up with a long sigh. Double overtime, probably. Sunday lost to this shit too. That new bottle of wine waiting for him on his kitchen counter bought for nothing. “Gotta do everything myself, huh? Unbelievable.”

He follows his assistant over to the main lab down the hall, where his team of j-techs are hurrying around. Hardly anyone in proper lab attire—no labcoats—someone in sweatpants—Newt wasn’t the only one who had his Saturday ruined, probably. No one else is going grey, though. “What’s this shit?” he says, stopping in his tracks with one foot through the doorway. The high-tech holo-smartboards have been pushed aside, and instead, someone’s wheeled in a huge…chalkboard.

“Technical issues,” his assistant says. “The other floors are having the same problem—something in the new interface update that downloaded last night, we think. They’re all out of commission. Technology is working on it, but for now, we had to pull that out of deep storage.”

Two of his scientists are scrawling across the board quickly—one with white chalk, the other with pink. They’re debating something in hushed tones. Newt hasn’t seen a chalkboard in years. It doesn’t fit with Shao Industry’s whole chic, sleek, futuristic aesthetic. So—bulky. And messy. “Of course it would happen today of all days,” Newt sighs. The sight of it makes him feel odd, and he can’t seem to drag himself any further into the lab and any closer towards it.

His assistant says something. Newt doesn’t hear—he’s listening, instead, to the squeaking of chalk across the blackboard. So noisy and obnoxious. It reminds him of years and years ago, of working in a grimy little basement, of…

“—look it over. Dr. Geiszler?”

“Hm?” Newt says. It was like a layer of fog had begun to lift from his thoughts, but the interruption sends it rolling right back in.

“I said we’re ready for you to look it over. Only if you want too, of course,” she adds, nervously.

“Uh-huh,” Newt says.

Newt’s never had anyone fear him before, not like his employees seem to fear him—he’s not sure he likes it. His scientists shut up the second he looms over (well—under, Newt’s never loomed over anyone in his life) their shoulders to inspect their work so far. The squeaking stops. One of them lowers their piece of chalk. “Wait,” Newt says, too-loudly, surprising them and himself. They both look at him with the same nervousness as his assistant, like he’s about to start shouting or something. “Keep doing that.”

“Keep…?”

“Writing,” Newt says. “On the chalkboard.”

The scientist frowns at him. “Um, okay,” she says. “What am I supposed to write?”

“Anything,” Newt says. “Seriously. Anything.”

She hesitates.

“Anything,” Newt repeats.

She picks up the white chalk, and writes out her name, then doodles a few random pictures—a DNA helix, a flower, a cat face, a star. Newt shuts his eyes, and breathes in deeply. That smell. He snags the forgotten piece of pink chalk from the ledge. “Can I have this?” he says. He doesn’t wait for them to respond—though they both nod yes frantically, and bewilderedly—before writing out his own name on the board. Dr. Geiszler. It looks wrong, so he writes Newt beneath it. He shuts his eyes, and writes Newt again. Why does he feel like he’s done this sort of thing before? This thing is ancient—before his time at Shao—he wouldn’t have used it before they carted off to the basement. Newt, Newt, Newt Was Here,he writes, Newt +, and then he stops.

He opens his eyes. “Who’s Hermann?” his assistant says.

Newt + Hermann. Newt didn’t realize he wrote it. “Someone I knew,” he says, faintly. “Years ago. He was my—” He swallows. He feels strange. “My colleague?”

Strange. Dizzy. The Aspirin isn’t working. Definitely the contact lenses. He could afford laser eye surgery now, if he wanted, maybe he should look into it. He grips the ledge of the chalkboard, swaying, and grits his teeth; his two scientists back away from him slowly, no doubt worried he’s about to hurl all over their shoes. He might, to be honest. Newt + Hermann. Hermann was his colleague. Hermann was his— “Are you feeling okay, Dr. Geiszler?” his assistant asks. “You look…”

“Tell Shao I’m taking the rest of the day off,” Newt says.

“What?”

“You guys got this shit handled without me,” Newt says. He pockets the chalk. “I’m not—I’m not feeling myself. I think I need to go home and lie down. Seriously, you’ve got it under control—all these numbers look, uh, good, I trust you. If you guys don’t get it finished you can just tell Shao it’s my fault, okay?”

She gapes at him. “Uh,” she says. “Okay?”

Newt doesn’t go home. He goes to the nearest shop he can find instead, and makes a beeline for the art supplies aisle. Only a few boxes of chalk in stock. Four multicolored, two all-white, one yellow. He drops them all into his basket but the yellow, which he rips opens and immediately smells. Newt + Hermann. Hermann always smelled like chalk dust—he always had a fine layer of it on his clothing, patches of it on his blazer, his sweatervest, even on his undershirt. Newt used to tease him for that. He closes his eyes, and breathes in again. Funny—all those baths, all those bottles of wine, and this stupid little box of chalk is what’s finally making him feel calm for once. Quieting down his brain. He didn’t realize how loud it’d gotten in there. When Hermann would kiss Newt, he would sometimes stain Newt’s clothing with chalk, too, and Newt would pretend to be annoyed, but he never really was.

Someone is speaking to him. An employee. They’re staring at him, a cautious distance away, and Newt’s not sure what they’re saying.

His vision’s gone blurry—he didn’t realize he’d started crying, either. He wipes his eyes on the cuff of his blazer and sniffles. “Sorry,” he says. The box of yellow chalk is wet. “Um. Do you have any more of these in the back?”

He takes the bus home for the first time in years, one hand stuffed in his little brown shopping bag the whole time, wrapped around a box of chalk. When he gets back to his apartment (his big, lonely, apartment), he pulls out the only food in his fridge—some leftovers from a Shao Industries event three nights ago—and settles down on his big, lonely couch. He can’t stop thinking about Hermann. Five or so years, maybe more, not thinking about Hermann, and now suddenly—it’s like the floodgates have opened. He thinks about Hermann’s haircut. (Bad.) He thinks about Hermann’s smile. (Silly, and sweet.) He thinks about Hermann’s dumb accent, and the clack of Hermann’s cane on the floor, and Hermann’s chalk squeaking over his chalkboard, and how it felt when Hermann would wrap him in his arms and kiss him and whisper things to him. Hermann’s sweaters always smelled like mothballs and stale cigarette smoke. Terrible combination.

Newt’s stomach growls. He’s finished the small bit of leftovers without realizing, and is apparently still hungry. He would kill for some sushi takeout right now. Or pizza, God. Yeah, it’d be screwing with his new diet and fitness plan—he casts a guilty glance over at his brand new exercise bike, which is gathering dust in the corner by his TV—but he’s tired of doing stupid kale and juice cleanses or whatever, just to please—well. He’s only human.

He is?

He walks up the stairs to his bathroom, and stares at himself in the mirror. Stupid vest. Stupid tie. Neat hair, clean-shaven cheeks, contact lenses. Newt’s only human. “I’m human,” he tells his reflection. Is he human? He felt human standing by that old chalkboard back in the lab, and holding that box of yellow chalk in the aisle of that little shop. He felt human when he was remembering things. Because of—Newt blinks at himself. Because of whom?

“Hermann,” he says, and smiles at the way the name makes him feel. He should text him, maybe.

-------------

“I must say,” Hermann says, “I was quite surprised when I received your dinner invitation. You’ve done a rather fine job of ignoring my calls as of late. I’d thought— Ah, thank you,” he adds, as Newt holds the door open for him. He steps into Newt’s apartment and cranes his neck around, squinting curiously, and then shoves a bottle of red wine at Newt’s chest. Hermann is much more personable than Newt remembers—what little Newt remembers—and he wonders if it’s age or something else. “I’ve been holding onto this one for a while. It’s the one you gave me as a part of a gift for my thirty-seventh birthday—you remember? Oh, but isn’t it so terrifically, er, modern in here.”

“Is it?” Newt says. He’s never given much thought to his apartment before, but he stares around at it now in mild interest. It is very chic, isn’t it? Monochrome. Impersonal. Not something Newt would’ve picked for himself. “Yeah, I had some interior decorators come in and do it for me.”

Hermann arches an eyebrow. “How…”

“Modern,” Newt offers. He puts the bottle of wine on his marble kitchen island. “Thanks for this, by the way, but I’ve actually been trying to cut back on the—” He bites back drinking. No need to alarm Hermann. “—Calories, so if it’s cool with you I’d rather not open it. I’m doing a, um, a new fitness program.”

“Ah,” Hermann says. “I suppose that explains that, then, doesn’t it?” He points at the dusty exercise bike. Newt watches his gaze move from that, to the barren leather couch, to the short staircase which leads to Newt’s shut bedroom door. Newt can practically see the gears working in his head. “Will—ah, what was their name, that little flight of fancy of yours—a dalliance, one might say—will they be, ah, joining the two of us?” He looks at Newt out of the corner of his eye. “Alice, was it?”

“Who?” Newt says, blankly.

Hermann breaks out in a broad grin, which he quickly tries, very badly, to turn into a sympathetic frown. He pats Newt’s arm. “There’s the spirit, then, Newton! All in the past, I presume? Hardly any use in dwelling on a broken heart. Then again—it’s not as if you were together long enough to warrant those sorts of dramatics, were you?” he says, cheerily. “What I mean is—certainly it wasn’t as if you had any sort of deep or emotional connection with—?—oh, I’ve forgotten the name again.”

“Uh,” Newt says. He’s not really sure who Hermann’s talking about, but just based on that fact alone, he would assume Hermann is right. “I guess not?”

“Precisely as I expected,” Hermann says, with a satisfied nod. “Rotten grounds for a relati—for a fling. You deserve far better, Newton.” Hermann touches Newt’s arm again, and this time, he doesn’t move his hand. It makes Newt’s skin prickle pleasantly. “You look well these days, though I admit it’s a bit of a shock to see you without your glasses,” Hermann continues, flicking his eyes up and down Newt twice. He lingers on Newt’s left hand, over the bare spot where—until this morning, when he suddenly realized how stupid it looked and yanked it off—he was wearing that Elvis ring. “Ending things must be treating you kindly. I don’t suppose I could dash to your loo?”

“Loo?” Newt says. “Oh, right. Yeah, it’s that door there, right off the living room.” He drops down onto the leather couch. “Knock yourself out. I’ll be right here.”

Hermann disappears into Newt’s bathroom, and comes back out three minutes later with combed hair, a straightened collar, and the vague smell of cologne. He’s tucking a small bottle into his top pocket. “I found a box of hair dye in your medicine cabinet,” he declares, smugly. “I knew there was no bloody way that was natural. Though I’m not surprised it fooled Alice.” He rests his cane against the glass coffee table and sits down next to Newt. Right next to Newt. The whole sofa to pick from, and he’d rather their thighs touch. Newt doesn’t mind—actually, the contact is strangely grounding, like Hermann’s hand on his arm had been earlier. He’s here, in his living room, with Hermann, his friend Hermann, his colleague Hermann, his—well, question mark—Hermann.

“Hermann, can I ask you something?” he says. “Something important?”

“By all means,” Hermann says, leaning in and fluttering his eyelashes. Even over the cologne, Newt can still make out that mothball-chalk-smoke smell.

“Do you take your coffee with sugar?” he says.

Hermann laughs. “Do I—what?”

Newt repeats the question. The smile slips off Hermann’s face, and he draws away, furrowing his eyebrows. “Well,” he says, “yes, usually, only I’m not sure what—”

“Sugar, and some milk,” Newt says. “It was the same with your tea. And you had a mug that you would use—you wouldn’t use any other. It was blue, and it said—” He exhales through his nose. “It said TU Berlin. That’s where you got your PhD.”

After Newt sent Hermann a text about dinner last night, he sat down with a pen and pad of paper and made a list of everything he could remember about Hermann. He started with what Hermann looks like, and who Hermann is, and then moved into the harder stuff like what Hermann likes and the sort of things Hermann used to do. He stayed up all night doing it, until his hand cramped and his head hurt even more than it had that morning, and then recited it over and over to himself in a whisper as he fell asleep. Hermann has brown eyes. Hermann likes blackberry jam on his toast. Hermann wears little glasses on a chain. Hermann uses a cane with a tiny little nick in the brass of the handle. The list is in his pocket now; it makes Newt feel calm, and even calmer when he reaches into his pocket and touches it. He exhales again, hard, and then inhales. “We were together,” he says. “When we closed the Breach, you told me you loved me.”

“I did,” Hermann says, quietly.

“I said it back,” Newt says.

Hermann nods.

Slowly, Newt reaches out and puts his hand over Hermann’s. Hermann makes a strange noise in the back of his throat—like a sigh, or maybe a groan. His pulse twitches erratically under Newt’s fingertips. “I bought chalk,” Newt says.

“You—” Hermann echoes, his voice choked. “You bought chalk?”

“It reminded me of you,” Newt says.

He’s not surprised when Hermann kisses him, but he is surprised at his knee-jerk reaction: to pull away, or push Hermann away, and to order him to get out of his apartment. He’s surprised, because those aren’t his thoughts. He doesn’t want Hermann to leave—he wants Hermann to stay longer, and kiss him more, and help him remember more. “Oh, Newton,” Hermann says. “Newton, Newton—” He moves his mouth to Newt’s neck, kissing, breathing, and whispering his name, and Newt shuts his eyes and forces himself to remember his list.

“Tell me things about you,” Newt begs. “I want to remember you.”

Hermann’s laughter, hesitant and confused, comes out in a puff of hot air against his skin. “Remember me?” he says. “I’m not sure— Are we not a bit—?”

“Hermann,” Newt says.

He grips the back of Hermann’s sweater, digging his nails in Hermann’s skin through the layers of fabric. Hermann must hear the urgency in his voice, because he shakes his head with another laugh, kisses Newt’s jaw, and says, “Well, alright. What am I even meant to tell you?”

“Your favorite color,” Newt says. Hermann kisses his chin. “Your favorite song. No, wait—” He nudges Hermann away from him, just enough so that Hermann can see him smile. “Tell me what you like about me.”

“Feeling rather egotistical tonight, aren’t we?” Hermann teases. He reaches out and brushes his fingers through the side of Newt’s hair. One of the spots Newt dyed—it was too grey. He catches Hermann’s hand by the wrist and pulls it away gently, but only to press himself up against Hermann’s chest instead. He can feel Hermann’s heartbeat. “I like—hm,” Hermann says. “I like your stubbornness. I like your passion. I like…”

His voice vibrates in his throat—Newt can feel that, too. He listens.

[queeen-goldfish]

5 Stages of A Heartbreak 1/5

A/N- I did something like this a couple of years ago but I got a little insecure about it and deleted my whole account... over one story. However I found some of the plot and decided to rewrite it. My lovely friend read it and gave me the confidence I need to repost it. I hope you enjoy it!

Category~ ANGST (my fav lol) 

WARNING (Triggers) - A tiny description of a Panic Attack 

Peter Parker Masterlist

   “Please. I- I don’t have anything, just please don’t hurt me.” you pleaded with the robber who was currently holding you at knife point. How did you get in this situation? Lord knows, but no matter where you were, trouble was always around the corner. 

The man pushed his head back with a laugh, allowing the smell of alcohol to escape his mouth  invading your senses. “Come one now darling don’t give me that crap” the robber spat as he began to get close to you. "You were just asking to be hurt. I mean what sane person goes through an alley all by themselves in the middle of the night , huh?” he asked you, sliding the knife down your cheek causing a chill to run down your spine. He opened his mouth once again only to be cut off by a familiar voice,

“Hey now why wasn’t I invited to the hang out”  

’Oh thank God, it's Peter’ you thought to yourself. To afraid to move you stared at the multicolored brick wall accompanied by the rusted fire escape that looked too old to do any real good in any real emergency, 

“Spider-man?” The robber questioned looking around trying to place a location on the young hero. Spider-man gasped dramatically, “You know who I am? Who would have known I had fans around this part of town?” He asked sarcastically as he swung from the roof onto the alley floor. Seeing Spider-man getting closer, the robber placed the knife against your neck as a warning. “Woah now let’s not get too excited” he added as he put his hands up for the robber to see

“Yeah, well we were just having a little chit chat, weren’t we darling?” the robber asked you, adding pressure to his hold on you making you whimper against the pressure.

“Tsk tsk tsk” Spider-man responded walking closer to the robber “Now thats no way to talk to the lady now is it '' he asked shooting a web onto the robbers hand pulling him away from you. 

Seeing that he was in a losing battle,the robber dropped his weapon holding his hands up, “Wa-wait we can work something-” but before the man was able to say anything else he was swept off his feet and on the ground groaning in pain. Within minutes the robber was tied up and left for the clean-up department, a.k.a the police officers.

“Spider-man?” you called out. Your voice was raspy and you couldn’t control the tears that started to flow down your face with such ease. His full attention was on you, walking over slowly, he placed one hand behind his back and the other reaching out for you to grab, “Milady?”  As you placed your hands upon his, he swept you off your feet and into the air. At first your eyes were closed due to the spontaneous change in altitude, but once your body calmed down you opened your eyes. Face to face with the dazzling stars that illuminated the night sky. Looking down at the city lights you could tell Peter was taking you but it didn’t stop the question from leaving your lips, “Are we going home?” you asked your voice no higher than a whisper. Peter answered your question with a gentle squeeze but not a word was spoken until you two landed on top of your building's roof.

“Peter- I mean-” you cleared your throat a bit nervous,“Spiderman. Uuh- Thanks” you said, feeling the blush creep up your neck. You were used to speaking to Peter, but never when he was in his suit, it almost felt too- unreal.

Peter snatched off his mask from his face, searching your body with his eyes for anything out of place. Only then did you notice the way his breath was almost shaky, like the reality of it all just hit him. Any other day you would have looked away too afraid to be caught staring, but the way he stood there watching over you like it was his only reason to live had you memorized. The only thing that took you out of his trance was the crack in his voice as he grabbed your shoulders,  “I thought, I thought I lost you. I heard your voice but I didn’t think it was you- or- I, I don’t know but I just knew I had to come and then I did and he had a knife against your throat and- oh God '' he cried taking in a sharp breath. Placing a hand on his cheek you rubbed the tears away with your thumb. He put his hand over yours, caressing it ever so gently staring into your eyes. You tried to think of something to say, something that may ease the shock he had on his face but before you could even form the words he pulled you into a kiss, only coming up for air to look into your eyes and kiss you all over again. 

After a moment Peter stopped and looked at you for what seemed like forever, “I know this is sudden but-” Peter pulled a candy ring-pop from dropping down on one knee. You chuckled looking between the boy you’ve loved for so long and the sugary treat he held in his hand. “This ring pop is- well a little smashed up-” you both laughed at the statement, you couldn’t figure out if it was the adrenaline or pure happiness but you felt like you could run a mile. “- But I was hoping that you would still at least let me do my romantically cringy speech” you nodded and he chuckled nervously, “ Okay here it goes, y/n?”

“Emhmm” you tried to contain your smile with your hands but you were sure it could be seen from miles away. 

“Y/n” 

“Uh-huh” you said, egging him to go on. Suddenly his facial features changed like there was something wrong. “Peter you're scaring me what's wron-”

“You’re gonna be late?” he said drooping the candy ring pop looking around

“Peter what? What are you talking about'' Peter grabbed your hand pulling you closer to the edge, “Peter you’re scaring me what's going on”

“You have to wake up”

“What-” He shoved you off the building and as soon as you hit the ground-

“Peter!” You popped up huffing as you looked around only to meet face to face with your mother.  

“No it’s not Peter, it’s your mother. It’s about time you woke up” your mother yelled as she picked up the dirty clothes that were on your floor and placed them into a hamper. 

“Mom, you scared me! I think you just ended my life…. in my dreams!”

“Yeah, well if picking up your dirty clothes at this age is going to be a normal activity of mine, I guess my life ended ages ago. So you can call us even.” she said without hesitation while  taking the hamper exiting the room, “You need to be out of the house in twenty minutes!”

“Yes ma’am” You said sighing as you swung you leg off the bed 

I mean of course it was just a dream. Perfect Peter would never do anything that heroically romantic...Not to you at least. You guys had been friends for over 10 years- no, not just friends, best friends.So close that he feels the need to tell you every single detail about his crush, Ms. Liz freakin Allen. As if your love for him wasn’t already impossible, he goes and crushes on the rich ‘cheerleader’ with brains. Not to mention he talks about her all the time, even at this very moment! I guess you don’t mind his little rambles, or at least you pretend you don’t. It gives you an excuse to admire his features a little more. Like his mesmerizing lips that moved so elegantly as he talked. Making the most boring of subjects an entertaining sport. The way he casually bit his lip as he smiled or when his tongue would tease you with a quick game of peek a boo as they swept across his bottom lip. Or the way he just said your name so sweet like the morning dew on a summers day.You loved the way your named rolled off his tongue with… wait-

“Y/n!” Peter called, you looked up at him confused, why on earth was he shouting your name like that? “Y/n are you even listening?” Peter Parker asked, making your stomach drop a bit. Of course you weren’t listening; he was ranting about Ms.Perfect, but you didn’t expect to be quizzed on the subject.  

Giving a chuckle you pulled on your sleeve out of habit, “um of course, I just.. Zoned out for a second.. Or two” you explained looking down at your half eaten pizza. The school pizza didn’t look all that appetizing, but anything was better than looking into Peter’s eyes. That boy could read you like a book with no cover. You heard him give a small chuckle, that made the ends of your lips curve up. His soft laugh gave you the ability to look up at him. At the moment he was combing his fingers through his hair as he bit the side of his lip, something he did quite often to stop from smiling but his smile was almost memorizing. The way his smile could melt you from the inside out was almost scary. 

He looked back at you shaking his head jokingly, “Well I guess I’ll just have to tell you again won’t I? I was telling you guys that I finally asked Liz out” he said simply. It took you a moment to process his words. You were waiting for the punchline, the “Ha you should have seen your face”. Yet the only thing you got was the gut punching feeling in your stomach that made you want to throw up your half eaten pizza, and the breakfast you thought would have been devoured by now. It’s not that bad, keep it together just nod just do something just don’t- “Y/n?” All eyes were on you. Peter. Ned. Mj...Peter. You could feel the lump in your throat building and your breath begin to shorten so you smiled and nodded, taking a deep breath, and then another but it was as if your lungs had stopped listening to orders. 

You heard Mj grab her bag and grab yours too, “I just forgot me and Y/n have a project we need to work on-” she said handing you your stuff and pushing you towards the cafeteria exit

“What right now?!” Peter asked, you were still walking, afraid a tear would slip if you turned back now.You could hear MJ talking to him in a rushed voice. Something about a deadline and in a hurry.When she finally caught up to you she led you to the nearest bathroom and locked the main door.You leaned onto the bathroom counter trying to focus your breathing as she looked under each stall until she was satisfied no one was in there.

“I can't- I can’t” your chest tightened and the lack of air made your face feel like a thousand needles were poking at it. Panic attacks weren’t very foreign to you but they didn’t happen very often, however when they did Mj was the first to help you. To be completely honest she was the only one you were comfortable helping you in this state.

“I know I know, sit down okay just sit and look at me, just like last time remember”  You nodded as she took a deep breath and you tried to mimic her.She continued to do this until you remembered how to breathe. In between she would ask you silly questions to get your mind off the obvious. 

Once you were calm you sat there looking at the wall, “I knew he would never love me but it still hurts” You explained your voice cracking as the tears built back up. You and Peter had known each other for ten years and you guys were immediately besties. You caught feelings after two year.. And after all this time you finally get your heartbroken by Perfect Parker. “I was never going to be good enough...was I?” You sobbed into Mj’s shoulder. 

“It’s okay, let it out” Mj said, holding your sobbing body. One second you were fine, having a normal day with your friends, and in a blink of an eye your world came crumbling down. The only piece of dignity you had left, went out the window the moment you sat in the corner of this dirty bathroom crying your eyes out about a boy who would never think of you as more than just a friend. 

I heard a story about a girl who loved her best friend. She spent days watching him as if her feelings were nothing more than a friendship. Her heart tugged as she heard him talk about his new profound love. It made her stomach twist with the way his eyes sparkled when he talked about a girl she knew wasn’t her. The butterflies she once had, had grown into jealous moths ready to attack any sort of light left within her.Every insecurity she had was labeled as another reason her best friend didn't view her like he did other girls.I heard that she continued to smile as if nothing was wrong. She even laughed when the timing was right. I haven’t gotten to the end of the story yet..The girl does seem kind of stupid though huh…

Chapter 2

[neo-deobi]

Hold me, my love

request: yes (thank you for requesting)

genre: fluff, some cute stuff

pairing: hyunjae x gen. neutral reader 

warnings: a sad hyunjae

Word count: 0.9k

[masterlist]

a/n: I’m so sorry for the delay. I'm very high these days and I, unfortunately, half heartedly proof read it so I apologise for any mistakes that you will find.

I pressed my back against the elevator wall as I waited for it to take me to my destination. The dim lights and soft music made the atmosphere so comforting that I felt myself feeling sleepier.

 “I haven’t seen you in so long. How is work going?”

 I turned my head towards the staff who was taking me o the practice room. I stood up straight and spoke, “It’s going well. Just very busy. Two of our teammates fell sick so the workload has increased and the deadline was for yesterday. Now that, finally, I am free I decided I’d drop by. ”

 “Ah, no wonder.”

 The elevator paused before making a ding and opening the door. I walked out saying my goodbye, thank you and leaving with a respectable bow.

 I moved the bags into one hand to pull out my phone from my pocket. I quickly texted Eric to check if they were on their break or not. After sending the text I waited a minute. Upon not receiving a message I decided I’ll just have to wait. I place it back into my pocket and support the bags in both hands and walked towards my destination.

 I made the last turn to the practice room. I readjusted the bags I was holding in my hands to reach the doorknob. I quietly opened the door to not disturb anyone but right then the door was pulled opened, pulling me with it.

 Eric appeared from behind the door with surprised eyes. He let out a cry of excitement and pulled me into a hug. “Oh, Y/N. I just read your text. How are you? Wah, it’s been so long since we’ve seen you. We missed you so much!”

 “I missed you guys too! How have you been?”, I spoke.

 I patted him on his back causing him to pull away. He looked down at the bags I was holding in my hands and stared at them puzzled while moving back to get a better look at them.

 “Hyunjae hyung, guess who’s here?!”

 Before I could explain what was inside the bags to him, I heard my name being called by one of the members who were now approaching me. My eyes search for the owner of the voice however, they are caught on a tired figure sitting against the large mirror.

 “Hey everyone. I brought you guys a little something to eat.”

 The members marched towards me, pulling me towards the center of the room and greeted me. I noticed a tired Hyunjae getting up from where he sat. He brushed off his clothes before slowly walking towards the group.

 I ushered Haknyeon on taking the bags I held onto for far too long. I asked them to enjoy the food. I turned towards Hyunjae who was about 5 feet away from me. He opened his arms and I speed walked into him, wrapping my arms around him. He engulfed me into a bear hug and nuzzled into my neck.

 “I missed you so much!“ Hyunjae spoke.

 I hummed in agreement and mumbled a me too. The interaction was soon interrupted by Kevin who pulled the two of us to join everyone to grab a bite.

 …

 “Don’t you want to go back to the dorm and rest a bit?” I asked Hyunjae as I sat on the couch next to him. He was stretching his legs while contemplating whether he wanted to rest or practice more.

 “I keep messing up. The members will have a hard time if I don’t get it right. We have to perform within a week.” He sighed. He laid back against the soft material before continuing.

 “Everyone is nervous. I am nervous. So very nervous. Our seniors and juniors will be watching us perform. It’s nothing new but after winning on Kingdom and returning as contestants again, everyone has high hopes from us and I’m worried they might-” Hyunjae cut himself off with a sigh. He closed his eyes, rethinking whether he wanted to voice out his fears or not.

 I observed him and notice how tired he looked. His body was already showing the signs but now that I see him from so close, he looks like he hasn’t been sleeping well either.

 I study his features, watching him battle his pessimistic thoughts. I reached for his hand and held it between both of mine. He opened his eyes and adjusted his head to look at me.

 “You are an amazing artist. Do you know that?”  I continued, “I’ve watched you grow, not only as a musician but also as a performer. I see you work hard for every stage and at the end, it’s a performance the mesmerizes hundreds and thousands of people.”

 I stopped talking, taking a moment to breathe as well as giving him some time to process my words.

 “You guys are giving it your all and I, someone who knows nothing about performing, can tell that your work is beautiful. You have so much trust in the members, why not trust yourself a little?”

  He sat up, looking straight into my eyes as if he had something to say. He pulled onto my wrist, pulling me into his arms. He placed his chin on my shoulder and continued to hold me. I wrapped my arms around his waist. I placed a kiss on his shoulder and sat there in the warmth of the man I love so dearly.

[mkkhaikyuu]

Autumn Skies: Chapter 4

 previous | chapter 4 | next |  masterlist

Horizons

Warnings: none (?) except for angst

wc: 3k 

Coffee. You desperately needed coffee. And lunch, too, you decided, your eyes flickering to the wall clock across from you to look at the time. 

You sat deflated in your seat at Miss Yukino’s office. You had just finished taking an English language assessment test for your Yale admissions that lasted around two and a half hours. It’s not that you had a hard time. You were confident that you’d managed to at least get a decent score on it. But you stayed up late last night, combing through your brain for the words to write in your college essays. 

You vaguely recall 02:46 AM glowing green on the digital clock on your nightstand when you finally plopped down into your bed last night. And at 5:15 AM, the same clock had woken you up for morning club practice. 

Practice had gone on normally that morning, which actually was quite unfortunate for you. Not only did you not get enough sleep, but you had to toss balls to each of the volleyball players for their spiking practice and had to clean up the gym afterwards. You barely had any energy left when you had your morning class.

It was the week before your final exams for the term so some classes were free so that students could get some of their own studying done. So after your first class that ended at 9:30AM, you were free for the rest of the morning. You then went straight to Miss Yukino’s office for the language assessment test. By the first hour of the exam, you were already beat. 

Stifling a yawn, you looked over at the clock again. 12:03PM. You waited as Miss Yukino typed away into her laptop, shuffled through the papers on her desk, then typed away into her laptop again.

You decided to fish your phone out of your bag and found that Kenma had texted you.

Kenma (11:58am): y/n, where are you?

You (12:03pm): I’m at the guidance counselor’s office. I’m almost done here and I’m gonna go grab lunch right after. Why?

Kenma (12:04pm): what are you doing there? did you get into trouble?

You (12:04pm): No! What do you take me for? I’m here for my uni admissions. You know, that kind of stuff.

Kenma (12:05pm): what? I thought you were going to the university of Tokyo with Kuro. he doesn’t seem to be busy preparing for all that stuff right now unlike you.

Kenma (12:05pm): y/n... is there something you’re not telling me?

You grimaced at Kenma’s text. If he were here right now, he would have pinned you down with his calculating gaze. The guy was just too observant. It was hard to let anything get past him. Sighing, you typed in a reply.

You (12:07pm): oh yeah about that...There’s a possibility that I might not be attending Tokyo uni. Nothing’s set in stone yet though so I’d rather not talk about it for now. Please don’t tell anyone?

Kenma (12:07pm): okay, sure. but you know you can tell me about anything anytime, right?

You (12:07pm): yeah, I know :) 

Kenma (12:09pm): anyway. can you come down to the clubroom once you’re done there? we can eat lunch together. i’ll buy you food. my treat :)

You (12:11pm): oh??? why’s that? but sure! thanks Kenma! You’re the best <333  

Kenma (12:11pm): you’ll see when you get there.

You frowned in curiosity at his message. Kenma was not the type to initiate something like this. You wonder what was up. Exhaustion momentarily forgotten, you couldn’t wait to get yourself to the clubroom. Just as you put back your phone back into your bag, Miss Yukino calls your attention. 

“Y/n, the testing center said that your results will be available next week. In the meantime, I suggest you work on your essays.” 

“Oh, right,” you nodded.

“The deadline’s coming up. Don’t hesitate to drop by anytime if you need any help. The sooner we can comply with all the requirements, the better,” she grinned, raising an index finger. 

You sighed in relief and stood up, smoothing down your skirt. “Thank you, Miss Yukino. I mean it.” 

She waved you off, laughing softly, “I’m just doing my job. Don’t worry too much, okay? Now get out of here and have lunch. Catch up on some sleep tonight, too! You look like you need it.”

You grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of your head. “Yeah, I will. Thanks again! Enjoy your lunch!” 

You gave her a quick bow then left.

Once out of the office, you headed straight to the clubroom where Kenma asked you to meet him, jogging on the way. You were half worried that something was wrong and half relieved that you could finally take a break from the wave of draining activities you’d had since you stepped foot into the school this morning. 

Reaching the clubroom, you reached out to grip the door handle and slid the door open slowly, hesitatingly, as if you were afraid of what you’d find on the other side. Peeking through the small gap, you see Yaku and Kenma staring back at you owlishly. They were seated at the table in the clubroom, Kenma holding his console and Yaku opening his lunch.

“Come in,” Yaku tells you, eyebrows raised at the way you hovered at the entrance.

“Is something up?” you asked them as you strode in and sat beside Kenma. You noted the takeout food and iced coffee that sat on the table. 

“Eat first, talk later,” Yaku announces. He gestured to the food on the table. You wonder what was making him uncharacteristically serious but at the moment you were too hungry to care. 

Right. Eat first, talk later.

“Here,” Kenma says, taking out the food he had delivered from the paper bag it came in and setting it in front of you. Your eyes glossed over when you realized that it’s katsudon from that pricey restaurant at the mall. 

“The coffee’s yours, too,” he tells you simply. 

“What the hell, Kenma? When you said it was your treat, I thought you meant food from the cafeteria! Not-” you gestured to the food he laid out in front of you, “THIS!” 

You were not a crybaby. But maybe it was the built up stress you had been feeling from dealing with your feelings for Kuroo, managing the volleyball club, and working on your Yale admissions that had tears welling up in the corners of your eyes. You pouted at Kenma, touched by his gesture. 

“Why are you doing this?” you eyed him warily. 

“You looked like you needed some cheering up this morning,” he shrugs. 

Humming, you run your gaze suspiciously between Yaku and Kenma. “Right... Well, in any case, I can’t accept this for free so I’m going to have to pay you back later.” 

“You can try but I won’t accept your payment either,” Kenma answers. 

“Can you two just eat already?” Yaku huffs as he chewed on his food.

You pouted at Kenma but he only stares blankly at you until you finally decide to relent. Sighing, you reached out to poke his cheek. 

“Thanks, Kenma,” you told him with a soft smile before digging into your food.

---

Now that you’re done with eating, the food containers sat neatly arranged on the table, ready to be disposed. You sat back on the chair and sipped on your coffee, finally feeling alive for the first time that day. 

“So, why did you ask me to come here?” you asked. Maybe they wanted to talk about the Christmas party you were going to have on Saturday. Were they planning a surprise or something?

Yaku met Kenma’s eyes briefly before he looked back to you.

“We need to talk. The talk. This is an overdue discussion,” Yaku tells you seriously, his arms crossed over his chest.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you said and raised an eyebrow at him. You turned to Kenma for some answers.

“Just so you know, this was his idea,” Kenma shrugs. 

Yaku clears his throat before asking, “Okay, I’m not going to beat around the bush. Y/n, do you like Kuroo?” 

You almost spit your drink. Being asked that question was the last thing you expected. “What? Like, as a friend? Of course, I do.” you say matter-of-factly. You have an inkling that that was not what Yaku meant but you were not going to give it to him so easily.

“You know what I mean. Do you have feelings for Kuroo? Romantically?” 

Yaku leans back on his seat, a softer look appearing on his face. 

“And if I do?” you challenge, raising an eyebrow at him. The libero’s face lit up at the revelation.

“I knew it! You like Kuroo!” he yells shortly before frowning at Kenma and muttering, “Wait. Don’t tell me you already knew all this and didn’t bother to tell us.” 

You tell them to keep it down, quickly looking around in case someone was around who might overhear.

“It’s not my story to tell,” Kenma retorts.

“Okay, okay,” you quickly interrupt the two, tapping a hand on the table twice. “What’s with all the sudden interest about me liking Kuroo?” 

At that, Yaku reveals that they’ve always thought that you and Kuroo had a thing for each other before Hana came into the picture. How the team thought you were secretly dating, and how it was only a matter of time before the two of you would announce it to the team. 

“I’ve noticed how you two don’t joke around like you used to before. You two don’t talk as much. You both were so inseparable -- practically attached at the hip -- before. It’s so weird seeing you two be so distant with each other now,” he continues. 

Kenma listened as he played with his console, occasionally agreeing with and adding to Yaku’s points. You allowed the two of them to speak up, preferring to listen instead. A few more moments of Yaku rambling passed before he quiets down.

A whisper of a frown was etched on his face. “We’re just concerned about you, you know. Ever since you showed up late that one time to practice and when you didn’t join the celebration dinner after the spring interhigh tournament on Kuroo’s birthday, the team is starting to wonder if something’s wrong. Not only that, I noticed how you’re often spacing out and acting distracted during practice these days, which is so unlike you.”

Kenma looked up from his game and turned to you. “Yeah. You always seem so tired these days. I know you’re stressing about your studies so you could maintain your grades and graduate at the top of the class, but I know you wouldn’t stress about it to that extent. I know you well enough to know that there’s something else that’s stressing you out. At practice earlier, you didn’t even look like you had a wink of sleep last night. That’s the reason why I bought you coffee.”

The two of them look at you expectantly, making you shake your head with a snort.

“I honestly don’t know where to begin,” you said, laughing wryly while running a hand through your hair.

“I was just as surprised as you, really. Kuroo never talked about Hana to me before. They just started hanging out after class one day, and since then he’s been spending less time with me and more with Hana.”

“Kenma already knows about my feelings for Kuroo, though,” you said, meeting Kenma’s eyes.

You paused, looking up at the ceiling, trying to find the right words.

Kenma nods in agreement. “He never talked about Hana with me either so we never saw it coming. The three of us were walking home after practice a few months ago when Kuroo saw Hana and told Y/n and I to go home without him. And weeks later, we found out that they’re dating.” He shrugs and goes back to his game.

“And how do you feel about them?” Yaku asks.

Your eyes scanned the room, as if the answers were written in the walls somewhere. “Hmm, I don’t know. I mean, at the beginning, I moped about it for a few weeks.” 

You thought back on all the sleepless nights and the pints of ice cream and the junk food you binged on while you wallowed in your pain and sadness. If Kuroo had seen all that, he would have thrown a fit at the unhealthy lifestyle you had adopted. But of course, he hadn’t. And so it went on like that for days.

You remember your tearstained pillows, the bad score you had on a test for the first time in a long time, and all the acting like you were fine when deep down you felt like an open wound. And Kuroo and Hana were the salt on the wound that halted your healing process each time you saw them. 

But maybe the worst of it all were the questions and the what-if’s that started to haunt you. 

What does Kuroo see in her that he doesn’t see in you? What did all the flirting, the soft looks he gave you, the lingering touches when your fingers or arms brushed mean? 

Was it really all in your head? Was everything one-sided? Did he not feel the same pull that you felt towards him? Not even a little bit? 

What if you confessed to him before it was too late?

You inhaled sharply. It felt weird to lay your feelings out in the open like this. “I was crazy to think he felt the same towards me, you know. I guess I led myself on. I actually thought I was special.” You laughed humorlessly. “But I realized that’s just how he is to the people close to him. I see it in the way he acts around, Kenma.”

“What?! No, no,” Yaku interrupts. “Like I said, we all thought you had a thing for each other. We were so sure Kuroo had feelings for you. It’s different from how he is around Kenma. There was something more,” - he paused and met Kenma’s eyes - “At least we thought there was.” 

The room was silent for a brief moment as the two quickly shared a look as if they realized that they said something they shouldn’t have.

“Well, in the rare times that Kuroo acts like an idiot, he does make sure he’s a big one,” Kenma says.

The room fell silent once more but this time, the air was buzzing with some sort of giddy energy. The three of you shared a knowing look. 

And then --

“Pfft!” Yaku snorted, unable to hold in his amusement any longer. And just like that, the three of you burst into laughter, although Kenma’s was more of a snicker. 

You don’t really know what the look they shared just now or what Kenma’s words implied, you just found it funny.

It was a few moments later when the laughter finally died down into a comfortable silence. 

“It’s been a while since I laughed that hard,” you said breathlessly, leaning back on your seat and clutching at your stomach that began to hurt just a little at how much you were laughing. 

Yaku and Kenma looked over at you with fond smiles, happy to see you happy. 

“So, are you going to be okay?” Yaku asks softly.

“Yeah, I think I’m doing better these days. I’m slowly learning to accept it. I know can’t force someone to love me. And I’m not the type to beg and chase after someone. So...” you shrugged. “That’s that. I’ll get over it eventually.” You really hoped so. You know fully well that some things were just not meant for you and you just had to be okay with that. 

“Are you sure? You didn’t seem okay this morning.”

“I’m fine! Really!” you reassured them, waving your hands off at Yaku. 

Sighing, you said, “Okay, okay. So, I didn’t really want to bring this up just yet but there’s a possibility that I won’t be staying in Tokyo for college.”

Yaku’s eyes widened in interest. “Oh? Where are you going then?” 

You grinned. “I don’t want to speak too soon since it isn’t final yet. I’ll let you know once I’m sure. So yeah, I’ve been busy preparing for my admissions these days. I stayed up late last night trying to write my essays. And then we had morning practice, which is why I probably looked like shit at practice this morning.” 

“For real? Good luck then!” Yaku beams, giving you a thumbs up. “We’re here for you, alright? Just come to us if you need anything.” 

Kenma wordlessly nods in agreement. Suddenly, the school bell rings, signaling that it was time to go back to class.

“You guys, thank you for today,” you gave them a warm, genuine smile. “I feel so much better now that I was able to talk about things with you.”

You opened your arms, inviting them in for a hug, to which they accepted. After giving them a quick hug, you reached up to ruffle their hair, much to Kenma’s displeasure. But he’d put up with it because it was you he’s used to it. Grinning, you let go and started cleaning up the table. 

With the possibility of going to Yale on the horizon, you couldn’t help but be hopeful. Maybe some distance from Kuroo is what you needed to get over him. Maybe you were just meant to be friends and nothing more. If you can’t have him the way you want him, then you’ll learn to accept that being his best friend is enough.

Baby steps. You remind yourself. One day it won’t hurt to look at him anymore.

You smiled to yourself, feeling so much lighter for the first time in a long while.

You picked up your bag from the chair as you were about to head out of the clubroom when something catches your eye. On the shelf was a nekoma volleyball club jacket with the letters KT written in permanent marker on the lining. Was it Kuroo’s? He never leaves his jacket behind.

You gave it a second look, debating whether to take it with you so you could give it to him but ultimately decided not to.

previous | chapter 4 | next |  masterlist

-

A/N: Hello! I know it’s been a while since I updated. I hope my readers are still around. Kuroo isn’t here but he will appear in the next chapter. I’ll be able to post the next chapter sooner since I already have it mapped out.

I apologize for being away for so long. Apart from being busy with studies, I also had a hard time mapping out the direction of the story. 

You see Kuroo and Hana weren’t meant to be a couple LOL. Kuroo was just meant to like her but I was too excited to post the first chapter that I completely overlooked it so I had to think of a way to blend that into my original plan for the story hahahaha. Also, I had a bit of a writer’s block for a while and wasn’t so satisfied with my writing. But i’m back! Let me know what you think of this chapter! :)

(I was going to post this as a bonus chapter but I decided that this is important to the development of the story.)

See you in the next chapter of Autumn Skies!

Brace yourselves for more angst!

taglist is still open!

Disclaimer: Kuroo Tetsurou, Haikyu!! and other Haikyu!! characters belong to Haruichi Furudate.

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