#still figuring out how i feel but im starting to like that mf and im not so mad about ut

[p4nishers]

izzy already has a crush on stede and is about to make it everyone's problem send post

[luvvixu]

mind over matter pt. 1

synopsis: witness how your marriage was bound to fall apart with you on the front seat and your husband gojo had missed the show—now, he gotta figure out the story on his own.

tags: arrange marriage au, angst, husband!gojo, mean!gojo, mention of blood, miscarriage, strong languages, some unsettling scenarios, emotional trauma, read at your own risk

a/n: y'all, im back after ghosting this page for way too lonh cuz im on my process of taking psychology. yep! this random bitch is up for being a psychologist despite her mental health place amidst the fluctuating status. and you know what's crazy? my sanity is slowly decomposing! all thanks to that one mf and one chapter in which im not going to name about (gege and jjk chapter 261)

previous / masterlist / next

it all started when he started caring for you.

after being inside an arranged marriage for like five years, satoru was confident with himself that he doesn't need a wife to console his woes as he is perfectly capable all by himself.

to say the least, the start of your marriage was a definition of an absolute disaster. clearly, you and satoru were like a magnet in the same pole, it can never collide despite how many efforts you push on both magnets.

from fights, misunderstanding, up to almost divorce after you caught him kissing another girl when you decided to give him a visit during his mission.

you were hurt, yes. but you would always tell yourself that neither of you want this marriage, so being hurt when there's no even love is called invalid. yet, you can't still help it but to feel somewhat jealous because he was supposed to be your husband—but oh well.

your family begged you to stay as it was for the peace of mind and safety of your clan. you snorted sarcastically as you wondered if they ever cared for your personal peace of mind and safety also.

nevertheless, you still stay inside this loveless marriage and maintain the gojo surname. you forgive him even though he's not explaining himself nor asking for your forgiveness.

as for satoru, he's aware that he's being a dick to you. his reason is that this marriage was his least priority as it was a hindrance for him. so basically and truth may hurt, he thinks you're only a hindrance and a distraction from the higher ups.

there were times where he would bury himself with work so he doesn't have to go to his original home and breathe the same air as you.

there were also times where he spent almost two months without seeing you or even communicating with you. it was like you didn't exist in his life nor he doesn't have a wife!

although, he is not that cruel to the point that he would slam the fact in your face. no, he's just leaving his presence until you feel it yourself that he doesn't want you.

his shenanigans would continue for almost a year until that night occurred.

that night when it was your wedding anniversary and he came home very late after fighting some annoying curse. he took a swearing underneath his breath when the stinky smell of curse blood hit his nose.

scrunching up as he was about to proceed to his own room (despite being married, you two sleep in a separate room) to clean up when he saw you up by the garden. you are currently watching how your little seedlings grow into beautiful flowers swaying along the air with a calm look on your face.

your husband broke the silence by asking you what are you doing this late. in which you replied that you couldn't sleep as you slowly looked at him.

satoru watched your face, it did not even flinch with any kind of emotion—nothing, just nothing. you're basically acting like a robot to him, and he hates it.

"i'll prepare a warm bath for you." you mumbled, standing on your feet and was about to leave when he grabbed your arm.

"i heard what happened earlier." satoru said slowly, as if he's being careful on his words which was very out of character for him.

"really? great." detaching from his hold, you left him no chance and instantly left.

"y/n." the man followed you until both of you reached the bathroom. you paid him no attention and just did the usual things you do, prepare him a bath.

"talk to me, please." his tone becomes soft, pleading. turning the water on, you refused to turn around, you refused to make physical contact with him, you refused to let him see the tears brimming in your eyes.

"go on. say what you want to say. i'm listening." you mentally curse yourself for almost stuttering. satoru looked at you, eyes finally unveiling an emotion. he aches to hold you for some reason but to think that he doesn't want to upset you even further, he stops. all he can do is watch you serve him.

"do you want to keep it?" he asked quietly, his ocean blue eyes dropping on your stomach. getting uncomfortable, you tried to hide it.

splash, splash, splash, you did not answer him.

"i said, do you want to keep it?" satoru asked once again. this time, his voice was a bit louder than before.

"i don't know. do you want to?" you asked him back the question, quietly.

your husband went quiet. having a child is not part of your plan but you have to because that's your purpose of marrying him, to bear an heir. now, satoru was asking you nicely if you want to keep it when in the first place, it should happen this way.

"how many months?"

"two."

"and you didn't tell me?"

"do you want to know?"

"of course i want to know. that's literally my child in there." he pointed to your belly with a slight frustration on his face.

you did not say anything back, just continuing your duties as his wife—wife on papers. satoru was growing upset, tired, even angry at you. where was the talkative and fierce look that you have? where's the harshness in your voice? why do you look so vulnerable now?

"you can take a bath now. i'll be downstairs to prepare you dinner."

"y/n, wait—"

*slam*

before satoru could even stop you, you already left, leaving him in all silence. the husband heaves a deep sigh within him as he recollects the events prior to this day. he remembers how he acted when he discovered to ijichi that you went to the hospital and went back home with a pregnancy result in your pocket.

satoru remembers almost getting killed by the special curse when the news caught him totally off guard. you two only have intercourse when both are drunk after coming home from shoko's birthday and that's it. you also told him that you were on pills so he's relieved. but how?

what if—

no, no, no. you wouldn't. you wouldn't do that to him. you are his little loyal wife and even though both of you aren't on good terms, he trusted your loyalty…or was he? were you?

everything was so messed up that he couldn't think of anything even after taking a shower and now he's on his way downstairs to eat dinner. once he was in the kitchen, he saw you almost absentmindedly cutting the vegetables.

satoru took a seat, quietly. he was watching you as your back was facing him. his six eyes weren't dumb to notice how much weight you are slowly losing. unconsciously, satoru was clutching his fists tightly.

"i bought you your favorite milk tea. it's in the fridge, you can drink it later." your voice seemingly dropped him from his daze. satoru looked at you once more, only to find out that you're still not facing him back.

"o…okay, thanks."

minutes later, you place a plate of curry in front of him. satoru noticed that there's only one plate on the table, which was his.

"where's your meal?"

"i already ate." oh right, it was literally midnight now. you should be asleep by now, yet here you are, serving your husband. also, why does it seem like satoru was hoping to eat dinner with you? it is unusual, to be honest.

for your five years of marriage, you two would only eat together for formal matters. but with a simple domestic setting like this, there's no way a peace would occur if the two of you shared a table and a meal.

while he is eating, satoru watches you grab the said milk tea from the fridge and place it in front of him. "just leave the dishes on the sink. i'll wash them later." and with that, you left the dining room.

the food was great, it was very delicious. satoru can't deny that you're great at cooking, and you really have a specialty when it comes to curry like this. but why does this meal taste bitter? perhaps, was it because of the taste of his conscience? he doesn't know.

the six eyes ate in silence. he was planning to talk to you later about everything. but anyway, satoru has been eyeing the milk tea you bought for him. now this wasn't unusual. everytime you would go out, you would always buy him some of his favorites, mostly food.

like there's a time where you bought him his favorite mochi, crepe cakes, churros, ice creams—basically every dessert or food stalls you happened to pass by. it warms his heart, though. there's also a time where he anticipated what kind of sweet delicacy you would give him next.

anyway, satoru finished eating his meal. he was drinking the milk tea you gave to him while searching for you. he saw you sitting on the same spot when he first saw you this evening, by the patio of your garden. silently, satoru took a seat beside you with a mindful distance between you two.

"can we talk?" he started. in which you reply with a soft hum. satoru finds himself gulping, he sets aside his drink first before mimicking your posture—wrapping his arms on his folded legs.

"so um, since there's a baby now…i'd like to discuss this matter with you, properly. i was thinking about…moving you in one of the jujustu high's dorms." satoru nibbles the straw of the sugary drink, absentmindedly.

"it's for safety measures, since i'm not always at home and the risk will be doubled by now. but if you're inside the campus, a lot of sorcerers would be able to protect you." he added.

"okay." you did not even question him or even argue with him, you just simply agree without a second thought.

the man could feel himself gulping, the bitterness increasing despite the sweet liquid he was drinking. he's starting to get uncomfortable the way you are currently acting.

also, come to think of it, you agreed to temporarily live in jujustu high—does that mean you are keeping the baby? satoru couldn't help but to finally ask you.

"d…does that mean—"

"the baby has nothing to do with us. i'm not that cruel to take its life." before satoru could beat you, you already beat him.

"when will i be moving out?"

satoru gulped the growing rare anxiousness down to his throat. "probably next week. give me some time to deliver this news to the higher ups." you just mumbled an okay as your response.

"y/n, are you really sure about this?" the man couldn't really pinpoint your decision. although you made it explicit, he still couldn't comprehend you.

"i'm okay with anything. it's just you who didn't. also, if you are planning to ask me about keeping the child once again, go ask yourself instead. your decision is my decision." you replied.

satoru made a mental note that your voice sounds more tired than before. it kinda ignited something that he was not used to feeling before as literally a man-god himself who's full of pride.

"i'll be resting now. have a good night." he did not stop you, in fact, he thinks it's for the better. satoru could only follow you by his gaze as you enter your own room.

yes, your own room. the two of you did not share the same room. you two couldn't even bear to eat together, what more on sleeping together. this is not what satoru meant when he asked you to talk. but oh well, guess he should also call this a night. with that, satoru retreated to his own room and slept.

fast forward, you moved to jujutsu high and started teaching as a history teacher in a world full of related curses(suggested by satoru) since you're an alumni at this school like your husband. you like that idea too since it's a great way to distract yourself from everything.

currently, you are watching your third year students train themselves along with the second years and the first years. it was quite a good sight since all of them have a nice and strong potential as a sorcerer.

suddenly, one of your husband's students came to you with a big smile on his face. that must be yuuji, the vessel for the infamous king of curses. you always adored him, he's a good kid. but you couldn't help but to be saddened by the fact that he was literally carrying a big burden over his life.

"y/n sensei, good afternoon!" he waved at you before taking a seat nearby you. behind him, you saw his two other friends—your husband's students too.

"oi, you're being too loud." megumi scolded his friend. he was worried that yuuji's loudness was too much for your situation, your pregnancy.

"it's fine, megumi." you just chuckled. "i have some extra chocolate bars here, you three can have it." the trio thanked you happily, while you just smiled in return.

"by the way, we have a question for you, y/n sensei." yuuji said, munching on the chocolate. you asked him to shoot the question but he suddenly hesitated, looking at his two friends for support.

when he received the support he needed, he took a deep breath. "y/n sensei, we were wondering about your husband a-and…" yuuji trailed off. you already know what he meant, so you didn't wait for him any further.

"oh, i suppose you are curious because you haven't seen my husband even though i technically lived here?" the smile still lingers on your face as you watch them nod their heads.

there's something that you forgot to mention to them, they don't know that their teacher is your husband and the father of your child. you were prepared for a situation like this, though.

megumi on the other hand, could've known this beforehand since satoru took care of him during his childhood. then your marriage came through and your husband was already taking care of megumi, but it was kept a secret to everyone—including him.

stroking your six months belly, a recent hobby of yours when you want to seek some comfort. "he was a busy man. most of his job requires being out of town. but he never fails to shower me with love by making sure that we still communicate despite his busy schedule."

"lately, we've barely talked. yet, he promised me that he will finish all of his jobs and tasks before going home to me. probably that's when our child is about to be born." you sigh just to justify this facade.

the students seem to believe your story. although you're quite worried that they might tell this to gojo and your cover will be blown. you planned to talk about this to him, anyway.

"that must've been hard, y/n sensei." nobara mumbles out of sympathy. she was worried for you and your child due to the absence of your husband.

if only they knew that your experience was much harder.

"you could always come to us, y/n sensei. we will not hesitate to help you and your child." beaming brightly as the other two agreed, you really adore yuuji. the amount of softness he gave to you is something that your future child would like to possess.

"thank you, you three. now, you all better go back to training. i will be heading to shoko since i promised to visit her." watching as the three wave their good-byes to you, you couldn't help but to feel an urge to protect them at all cost. probably due to your maternal instinct but whatever, you just hoped they would stay safe.

another fast forward, you are on your way towards shoko's office to spend your free time. knocking softly on her wooden door, shoko opens the door with a smile on her face.

"how's my little mama doing?" she engulfed you with a hug, which you returned warmly.

"good. the morning sickness did not attack me today, thank goodness." you said as you took a seat on her sofa.

shoko also commented that she was happy too. as mentioned before, stroking your six month old baby bump is a must on a daily basis. you are now used with a thought and feeling of a growing child inside you.

"and how're you and dickhead gojo?" shoko changes the topic.

"we were just fine like i have said before."

your friend heave the deepest sigh you've ever known. "just fine? y/n, do you want me to say the like i have said before too?"

"sho, ever since we knew that we're having a baby, we really tried our best to be compatible with each other. but we just couldn't." it's true, on the exact tomorrow of that eventful night wherein gojo discovers your pregnancy, he tried to make it up to you by lessening the sparkling arguments, making sure you are well feeded, and even showering you with things your eyes would have landed on.

you are delighted, of course. even though he absolutely fails his duty as your husband, at least he's trying his best to be a good father for your child. you appreciate him for that and also start to open your heart and pour a little more trust to him.

however, you are not dumb to notice the faint smell of a female's perfume and lipstick stain on his neck whenever he's with you. your heart slowly closes once again and your little more trust shatters.

once you saw yourself crying silently—feeling betrayed and angry for yourself on trusting him shortly after that. guess old habits never die, you are crying about something you've already expected. self-blaming is an understatement for letting your guard absolutely down.

gojo's still a jerk even though you had his baby. i should've expected this. having a baby doesn't mean he's going to change for me.

"we both tried, sho—we both tried. but we just couldn't." your voice dropped its tone once more. you still felt bitter even if it happened way back like two months ago.

"or he just couldn't." she snorted sarcastically.

you both knew she's right, gojo just couldn't. for years of being married, you unfortunately learned how to love a man like him who doesn't even give a one shit about you. tragic. very fucking tragic. if only you could see yourself directly, you would laugh at her nonstop.

"maybe this marriage is meant to be loveless—"

*slam!*

"yo shoko, i need—oh…" the door suddenly bursts open as it reveals your hot issue for today and probably for the rest, your husband gojo. you could tell that he was also surprised (but he shouldn't be) to see you here in shoko's infirmary.

"learn to fucking knock, gojo." shoko hissed at the white haired male.

"oh sorry. am i interrupting something?" he asked, looking at everything but you. he refused to spare you even a small glance, which you kinda do the same.

"you're not. now what do you need?" shoko was the one who answered him.

before gojo could even open his mouth , you already excused yourself. "i'll be taking my leave now. thanks for the check up, shoko." and then you left, leaving shoko and gojo with an awkward silence.

"aren't you going to talk about your business or maybe you want me to kick you out?" shoko sarcastically made a comment.

"right…" satoru cleared up his throat. for some reason, he doesn't know why he's suddenly getting iffy.

"ho…how's the child doing?"

"you have to be fucking kidding me." shoko groaned loudly. somehow, she expected this, but she couldn't believe that she would actually encounter this.

"y/n was just right there moments ago and you didn't even bother to ask her that yourself?!" the doctor could feel herself getting really annoyed. the truth may hurt but she's getting annoyed by the two of you.

fight here, ignore there—ignore there, fight here.

"bet she told you that we're not on good terms even though we really tried to work it out. yet, you're seemingly acting clueless." satoru snorted sarcastically. he's not dumb that you're telling stories to your friend, shoko.

the doctor rolled her eyes. she was this close from smashing his old friend's face to the wall to wake him up and stop being an idiot. "every fucking time, gojo. but that should not be an excuse to not talk to her. you two are still married for god's sake, and now, there's even a child along the way. i can see how much effort y/n has put in your marriage, you must do the same."

"don't you dare to compare her efforts to mine, you know nothing." he growls.

"but i sure know how shitty you are."

something inside satoru snaps. "why are you being angry at me?! you've been like this since we got married. always defending y/n, but what about me?! i have been your friend since highschool and you just met that girl! wouldn't it be unfair to side with someone whom you just met?!"

"you're asking me that when you have six eyes and yet, you can't see how much she suffers from you?!”

“but what about me? am i not suffering too?!”

how did we get here? things are getting pretty out of hand. two friends getting fired up because of a marriage that was about to fall apart. one being inside the marriage while the other one has the eye inside the marriage.

both shoko and gojo have their own sides but it all leads back to one thing, you are involved.

“you don't know how much pressure i take just because of that fucking marriage. everyday that i woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups. i'm getting so, so tired and i just want to…”

“just want, what? end your marriage by divorcing her?”

the moment the last syllables escaped her lips, she already knew the answer.

“fucking gojo.” shoko mumbles under her breath. “if you want to fix your life, you better not act dumb.”

satoru was still caught silent. his wide eyes trailed on the floor and unable to move. shoko saw how she hit the point. sighing over herself, she motioned the door. “get out, gojo. if you're gonna rethink your life choices, do it in your home with your wife.”

and with that, without a word, satoru left her clinic feeling heavy and defeated.

along the hallway, he saw you. satoru saw you looking at him with horror in your eyes—for the first time in one month, you finally looked him in the eyes, but it's filled with fear and tears.

“y/n, i—” just like what he had done before he left shoko's clinic, you left without saying a word.

satoru felt everything become hazy, his knees were trembling, his six eyes were stinging, his lips were turning white on how hard he bites them. the man shuddered in disappointment, you must have heard everything.

his feet act on their own and chases you, holding you by the wrist. but it was torn away immediately after you forcefully snatched it back. while doing so, satoru didn't fail to notice the hot tears streaming on your pale face, in which you immediately wiped it out.

“y/n, i-it’s not what you think. i…” as much as satoru would like you to hear himself, he hasn't gotten the words. he was left stuck by his own thoughts and self-doubt that he puts himself into shame.

meanwhile, you thought you could've just walked away from the scene. but from the moment you hear shoko and satoru exchange heated words, it gets you glued to the floor and unable to move. despite her clinic being semi-soundproof, you hear everything. even if you're not there in the room physically, you seemingly know everything.

“you don't know how much pressure i take just because of that fucking marriage.”

“everyday that i woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups. i'm getting so, so tired and i just want to…”

“y/n,” satoru called your name. his tone was very far from you used to. you grow accustomed to him saying your name venomously, but now it seems like he's saying your name delicately and vulnerable…and satoru hates being vulnerable.

“i know what you're thinking. i accidentally eavesdropped but i didn't t hear everything.” you internally praise yourself for being a great actress. you thank yourself for not stuttering and not sounding so dejected.

but you lied. you're a terrible liar. you heard everything. you heard every single thing that escaped his lips during his argument inside your friend's office. and you feel like dying, his words hurt you so much more than any deadly curses.

“have you eaten already? do you want me to prepare you for a bath?” satoru couldn't understand why the heck you still care for your wife duties when your husband, him, just broke your heart not so long ago?

you're acting absolutely strange in his eyes and he hates it. he hates how you would just bury or bottle your emotions. you're creating a facade and a labyrinth where you keep it by yourself.

“y/n, it's not time for anything. let's just talk please.” you hate it how he sounds like he's begging, but satoru never begs.

“let’s go to my room. let's talk this out—”

“gojo sensei! yaga sensei was looking for y—oh…” yuuji trailed his tracks when he saw you and satoru together.

“dummy! why do you just yell like that?!” megumi bonked his friend's head for interrupting your talk.

wearing your mask again, you smiled at the duo then brushed yourself away from the scene. satoru couldn't stop you any further, you're already away from him.

either way, satoru does the same, he wore his mask just like you. smiling at his students, he let them navigate the way towards yaga and deal with all of his shits so he would have time and talk to you properly this time.

meanwhile, yuuji and megumi were dismissed after they had done their task. nudging his black haired friend, yuuji pointed out things earlier.

“hey, fushiguro. is it just me or did i just see y/n sensei…crying?” he questioned. megumi remained silent because even saw that you were crying—they’re also not dumb to notice the burst energy somewhere inside your body.

“whether she is or not, it's none of our business.” megumi replied.

“i know. but i couldn't help but to feel really worried about her. you know crying can be bad, especially when you're pregnant, that could stress her out.” yuuji surprisingly knows how pregnancy somehow works. but they both know he's right again. they're worried about you and your baby, so they both take a mental note to visit you later.

as you slam the door behind you, a silent sob escapes your lips as you slide your back behind the wooden frame. along with the sound of your cries, was also the sound of your heart breaking.

for some reason, the facade you just put up there early makes you suffocate. it burns your eyes and it makes you shudder in pain. the hyperventilating noise escapes from your lips while you clutch the handful of fabrics of your blouse.

“you don't know how much pressure i take just because of that fucking marriage.”

“everyday that i woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups. i'm getting so, so tired and i just want to…”

god, that feeling burns! his words keep on burning in your head, engraving the letters piece by piece. those words are not too cruel, it's a little far from what you had heard before. but it came out directly from your husband's mouth, the father of your baby.

maybe, you think you acted this way because of your hormones. but nonetheless, he's like blaming you for all of his misfortunes and that made you recall your past arguments with him before.

it was like a collection of puzzles coming up together, picturing a clear image; you were just a distraction, he wanted nothing to do with you, you were just a burden, he wanted to dissolve this marriage, you would never be his, he wanted to be free from you.

you put your hand on your baby bump, stroking it ever so gently. you swore to yourself that you would never let anyone harm your baby, you would never let this marriage harm your baby, you would never let satoru harm your baby, you never let yourself harm your baby. that's for sure.

because as the clock ticks, time passes. and as the time passes, more tears flow to your cheeks along with blood on your legs.

[part 2 is out now — ©luvvixu2024]

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

hii congrats on 5k!! i love your writing ! if you’re still celebrating could i request a carmy blurb where maybe you’re syd’s besite and carmy has this biggggest crush on you (im talking this mf is Yearning) and she gets on him sooo hard about it like teasing him and reader and him end up together ? TIA <3

Not So Secret.

carmen berzatto x female reader

warnings - cursing.

written for my 5k celebration- post here, masterlist here, inbox here.

“You’re gonna stare a hole through her fuckin’ head.”

“Shut up.”

Richie laughs, following Carmens eyeline to where it’s fixed on you.

You’re stood in the restaurant with Sydney, both of you giggling at something she’s showing you on her phone. When you look up, you smile at Carmy, all soft and sweet and like butter wouldn’t melt. He almost melts, a puddle of yearning on the kitchen floor.

Sugar appears next to the two of you, holding out a piece of paper.

“This is a really rough draft of what we kind of want them to look like. Obviously you have full control, but this is kind of the vibe?”

When Carmen mentioned wanting a more personal touch on the menus, Sydney quickly offered your services. You’re the most artistic person she knows, gifted with naturally gorgeous handwriting that almost looks like calligraphy. Plus, she knows how much everyone at The Bear likes you, having been a part of their transformation. It’s a win - win.

“Yeah, I get you. So you want the title words like Dessert in more of a cursive, and then the actual dishes and descriptions in a typeface?”

“Yes! Do your thing. We trust you.”

She gives you a side hug, careful not to hit you with her bump.

“I’m gonna need some nice paper, and probably a new calligraphy pen so I can start from scratch. I’m gonna head to the craft store, and I’ll be back.”

“Carmy will go with you!”

Richie shouts it from the doorway, where he’s been not so subtly watching the conversation. Carmy blushes, clearly caught off guard.

“He needs to go to the craft store too, right Cousin? Good. Go. Bye!”

Carmy’s practically being pushed out the door, uncomfortable and flustered. You smile reassuringly, grabbing your bag and walking over to your car.

“You’re okay with me driving?”

“Course. Shouldn’t I be?”

You laugh, and he can’t help but grin, the sound settling nicely into his ribcage to warm him up.

“I’m a good driver, I promise. Despite what Sydney might say.”

He looks worried but gets in anyway, ever trusting you and anything you do.

He can’t help but sneak glances at you as you drive. You’re completely focused on the road in front, bottom lip pulled between your teeth as you concentrate. Carmy feels heat bloom across his chest at the action, wishing he could reach out and release it for you before you draw blood.

A text chimes through the air, startling you both. You press the button on your steering wheel so your car can read the message out loud.

From Sydney: Carmy. Tell her immediately or I’ll lock you in the walk in freezer. Sick of you acting like a lovesick puppy. This is your chance. Don’t blow it, asshole. We’re all tired.

Both of you freeze, your hands tightening on the wheel. Carmy wants to throw himself out of the moving car, but decides against it at the last minute.

You pull the car into the craft store parking lot, choosing a space and yanking the handbrake on. You turn to him, looking at him for the first time since the bombshell.

He’s blushed all over, chest heaving and bottom lip pulled between his teeth. You almost want to reach out and release it for him, before he draws blood.

“Carmy.”

“I think, uh, yeah, I just - that was clearly sent to the wrong person. Not meant for you.”

You laugh, suddenly, and it spooks Carmy so much that he jumps out of his skin.

“Yeah, Carm. That I figured.”

He laughs with you then, unsure and nervous. You reach out and place a hand on his knee, trying to calm him down. It just makes his heart lurch.

“What’s Syd talking about? Tell me what?”

He looks down at his lap, hands knotted together.

“I think you know.”

“Wanna hear you say it,” you whisper.

He finds the courage to meet your gaze, taking a deep breath.

“I like you. So much. I can’t stop talking about you to anyone and everyone that’ll listen - to the point that everyone at The Bear gives me so much shit for it. Sydney won’t get off my back, either. She says I’m ‘yearning’.”

You chuckle, rubbing patterns into the material of his jeans with your thumb.

“They’ve all made bets,” he continues, “about if I’ll ever tell you or not.”

“Who bet on you? And who against?”

“Syd and Richie against me. Marcus too. Tina and Sugar are on my side. Not sure why.”

“Wanna make Tina and Sugar some money?”

He quirks a brow questioningly, eyes going wide when you lean over the centre console and plant your hands on either side of his face. You’re so close to him that your breaths tangle together, one set of lungs working overtime.

“Kiss me, Carm.”

He doesn’t think twice, closing the gap and pressing his lips to yours. You tangle your fingers in his hair, trying to pull him impossibly closer. His hands find your back, tugging you into him as much as the limited space allows.

You whine when he bites at your lip gently, and he has to pull away to take a steadying breath before he passes out.

“You should get your eyes checked.”

He tries to process for a moment.

“Huh?”

“You must be blind if you can’t see how much I like you, Carm. How much I’ve always liked you.”

He grins at you, bright and white, and you shake your head before leaning in to kiss him again.

When you don’t make it back into the restaurant that day, everyone has never been happier to not see the both you.

[youtellmeman]

Boyfriend! Lo’ak headcanons

All under the cut

Rated E

Fucking menace holy shit

That rumor that guys are annoying when they like you it’s cause of him

Absolutely the worst before y’all started dating his great idea to getting your attention was being annoying

This in the end like most of his shenanigans back fires so bad it’s sad cause it just leads to you ignoring his ass and then he wants to act butthurt

“Why are you ignoring me? :(”

Eventually tho he does figure out that he has like court you properly with gifts and compliments and just being nice

Sucks ass at it tbh feel like he gives the worst compliments totally on accident

“Don’t worry I think it’s cute how bad you are at weaving.” Smiles dumbly at you “You think I’m bad at weaving???”

Once you’ve fallen for him tho it’s a wrap magically gets smooth as fuck it’s wild

Knows just what to say, how to act, everything

Def a level 10 clinger

Always with you doesn’t matter if your busy he’ll just sit there and watch you

So touchy like he always has a hand on ur waist, messaging ur shoulders, tail wrapping around ur leg

Despite his recklessness with his life he is the exact opposite about you

You wanna come on one of his adventures with him, nah. You decide to do something reckless without him knowing, fattest scolding known to man

Literally the exact copy of how his father can be sometimes

Don’t tell him that tho cause he will be butt hurt about it for ages

While he might be reckless with his life he'll never be reckless with yours so be ready to get told no A LOT

you wanna go with him on one of his adventures, no. You wanna go on one of your own, no. You wanna go hunting by yourself, nah.

So protective im telling you and with being protective comes, you guessed it, jealousy!

Most jealouse mf in the world im not gonna lie to you

Like he's so used to neteyam getting what he wants while he gets in trouble for shit that once he has something of his own he is not letting go

PDA king for the sole reason that he needs everyone to know they can't have you

Someone hitting on you, he's coming up to you and just enveloping your mouth in a kiss until said person walks away

Hungry kisser for sure. Kisses like he needs you to live and it never fails to leave you breathless

the type to have you pinned against a wall, or tree if we wanna be accurate, and still pull ypu in by the waist

Theres never gonna be a time where he doesn't follow your lips when you pull away

Hands are very much everywhere he can reach like its rare that kissing him doesn't lead to something more unless its a quick peck

Loves to just plant himself in front of you if your seating and demand that you play or do his hair

Falls asleep like that incredibly often

Snores im so sorry

Mf could shake down a house with his snores if he's really tired that day

Runs hot so dw about sharing blankets in bed

Downside is he does have sweaty hands like you gonna have to pull away sometimes to air dry

Sucks at cooking but still tries cause he wants to be romantic, he almost burns ur hut down and its decided he doesn't cook anymore

wants to be ur big strong man he will hold anything and everything for you, and then will burn red if you notice

"What would i do without you and your strength to help me gather things hmm? " "I-uh-i dunno." Pink as hell

—————

A lil appetizer for before I upload part 2 of my lo’ak series

[emmyrosee]

IM GOING TO SAY THIS 😘 AND THEN IM GOING TO RUN. 🏃🏻‍♀️VERY FAR AWAY, 💃DO NOT LOOK AT ME, DO NOT PERCEIVE ME OKAY??? AVERT YOUR EYES AND FORGET THIS EVER HAPPENED. I’m exposing myself here again 🤩

…so I would like to be chased… by one of our boys… yes I said OUR. 🤧 BY KUROO. THE FIRST BOY IN HAIKYUU I FELL IN LOVE WITH.

but. I want him(.) to just give you a look?? randomly??? that screams “run” EITHER when he’s in a playful mood (maybe he’ll work you up a bit first, get you into the same playful mood he’s in with some teasing. bc we all know HE’D BE SO GOOD AT THAT. SLY MF.) OR bc you’re in a super high energy mood and need to be dealt with. and you get chased around after, adrenaline SO high. what happens when you eventually get caught? who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️ (he knows)

and and and he might just make it fun, if you manage to hide from him, he’d turn it into a game somehow. Literally do not look at me please. stop it, look away. I’m embarrassed for some reason. But if I’m gonna expose myself I’m at least gonna do it where I feel SAFE (your ask box). And Ik I won’t be JUDGED (bc we are of similar mind when it comes to our boys I feel like). (and maybe after the makeshift hide and go seek game there’s cuddles on the bed and super sweet kisses and just lots of softness from your big baby of a bf who just wants to have childish fun with you :((( cause he loves having fun w the love of his life ☹️) this was a mess bc for some reason when I’m sappy like this I cannot articulate what I want to say properly :(

THIS IS LONG WOW!!! and once again, NO RUSH AT ALL!!!! PUT IT ON THE BACK-BURNER ITS TOTALLY OKAY!!!! it’s just a funky little thought after all 😋

anon <3

GOD I LOVE OUR BOYFRIEND!!!!

So here’s the thing right? Here’s what’s cool about Kuroo- arguably, the only thing cool about Kuroo bc he’s a dweeb.

Basically, his entire life, he spent messing with people, but his real practice and the reason he’s so good, is because of Kenma. His first victim, but also the one who he learned the art of body language and subtleties about communication. It’s something Kenma warned you about when you first started dating, but judging by the immediate ruffle Kuroo have his hair, you know Kenma wasn’t being too serious.

So, because of the pudding head I adore so much, Kuroo knows exactly how you’re feeling regarding certain play fighting tactics, or if you’re not in the mood when he can then go gentle and just have you in his arms.

He’s cool like that.

For example, just four days ago, you clearly needed a small jostle of playful affection, some playful attention, but you were so busy to ask and just let it go. But tetsuro knew better; he could see the way your breath would hitch when he’d make you laugh, or bring you food and gently rub your back. His touch seemed to jostle you; you just wouldn’t give in.

He’s fed up, and he’s gonna make you give in, he’s made that clear.

“Hey booger,” he hums, strolling in and hooking his chin over your typing shoulder. His eyes flick to the glass of water he poured you hours ago, seemingly untouched and sweating onto the coaster. “Have you taken a break yet?”

“Don’t need one.”

“Liar.”

“Do not start with me, Tetsuro,” you mumble, putting pressure on your temples. “I just need to bang this out and be done with it. I’ll be done in a few hours.”

He goes silent. And you pause your fingers before looking over your shoulder at him.

He’s not happy.

“Did you just sass me?”

He can practically hear your heartbeat pause in your little chest. Still looking at him, you shake your head. "Are you sure? Because, like, it feels like you sassed me."

He sees the cogs in your head turning. He sees the way you're trying to fight back your smirk.

"So you can figure out when I'm sick of you."

"Gonna make you real sick of me," he snarls, and just as he makes a threatening dart towards you, you shriek and dash away, abandoning your work and searching for a place to save yourself.

Because you know Kuroo is going to save your work. And tidy up the space, and book mark your page, all before making true on his promise and sprinting after you.

And like... you're never hard to find, and that's indicator #2 that you want this more than anything.

When he finds you on the opposite side of the bed (like, seriously? you have so much better than that in the arsenal), he just manhandles you onto the bed, your smacking palms and kicking feet doing little to deter him.

“Tetsu!” You squeal, writhing uselessly under his heavy grip. His hands only tighten as he shakes you playfully, back hitting against the pillows and mattress.

“You! Are! The best! Thing! In! My life!” He chants between words, ignoring your giggles and squirming. “Stop! Sabotaging! Yourself!”

"I can't help it!" You titter, trying to bat him away as best as you can given your pinned position. "I-I-I just want things done!"

"They'll get done!" He growls playfully. then, like an absolute asshole, he buries his face in your neck and fingers into your ribs, "fucks sake, when was the last time you peed, dawg? Huh? Maybe I should just make you do it now."

"NNNAAAAOOO!" You howl, so loud his own ears hurt, but he doesn't stop his fingers, nor the nibbling of your neck and ears that're light enough to tickle but some will definitely stain your skin.

OOF BUT THEN????BU-BUT-BUT T H E N???

He lets you get away.

For one second, he pretends that the knee to his gut hurts, and he's out of commission for the next three seconds, and it always gives you enough time to scurry away to another room.

He knows you're not going back to your work set up. You're at your own mercy when it comes to needing his playful side, and he hears you down the hall, giggling in anticipation as you try to hide.

"Gettin' too old for this shit," he chuckles to himself, then strutting down the hall to look for you.

he just. i just. i he. just he i.

KERNFWIDNBWIEFBQ

[earlymorningfoxhunt]

Hello, we're a system/collective who started listening to Malevolent on June 7th, 2024, and boy did it hit close to home! not only because of the jarthur body sharing blues, but also johns individual experience with his identity made us feel seen in a way we haven't felt before.

the way john has to figure out what differentiates himself from both arthur and hastur, despite feeling trapped behind arthurs eyes and chained to hastur heart, aligns with our experiences... a lot. so we've been making a compilation for the past month that includes all of the moments that made us go OOORRG as well as different folks commentaries (mostly consisting of us going OOORRG). this is going to be long as shit because this entire show is this.

also if your a system/collective who likes malevolent: PLEASE put ur favorite moments/ur thoughts

and if you haven't listened to malevolent: hey, you should give it a try and then come cry to me about it :D

A Compilation Of Malevolent Moments That Hit Differently As A System:

The Caves: (34:59-35:20)

during their argument john laughs while arthur trips over things

hehehe ya

The Path: (43:06-44:05)

johns questioning if he's feeding off of arthurs emotions or if hes learning them for himself, new split type beat, trying to figure out where each other start and end.

"we are of two minds, and more and more im realizing two souls as well. there's a bleed over effect but you are something entirely your own, john."

The Fall:

oh my god this episode. this man got so fucking pissed, not at john for rubbing the death of arthurs child in his face, but at arthur pulling host rank???? i was like ya buddy you can rot in a pit for a few months, mf you cant do that!! we we're listening to this at work and we were so pissed

The King: (35:00-36:25)(45:18-48:57)

its the first time arthur talks for him and its the first time he feels johns tears.

arthurs confrontation with the king and the feeling of no matter how much you hate each other, you're going to have each others back. for us personally it feels like a sucker punch to the gut every time he says "because i cant lose another person!"

The Unconquerable:

when we wrote down the title we didnt know why the episode resonated with us, but now I come back to it a month later as a yellow introject. we have horrid memory issues on top of memory issues, so it hurts something familiar to see the state yellow is in when he gets thrown into arthur. not knowing who or where he is but still trying to hold the cards, arthurs disappointment that hes not who he wanted him to be. its a new kind of painful. its the odd solace that comes from a shattered mirror.

we see arthurs frustration but its almost nice to be able to hate him for not giving yellow more grace.

The Train: (4:19-8:10)

I have literally told this guy he looks 80lbs sopping wet before, this entire episode is perfect. the bickering, the team work, the having to navigate socializing, it feels so nice

The Tear: (12:14-22:48)

ya...

The Detective: [(3:50-7:05) (10:40-14:58)] (28:09-28:18)

we made the mistake of listening to this on the way to getting tacos and we just had to sit in the parking lot, crying as john got to be seen for the first time by an ally. I've never had the experience myself(others in our system are out tho) but seeing it go well for him sparked something in me, enough that it pulled us to front for the past few weeks. that, w. it was a very important moment to us

and on a completely different vibe, "have you ever... before?" fuckin "well with out my excellent call outs" silly guy

The Order II: (23:26-24:00)

huh? oh hes not talking to us

The Witch: [(16:11-17:24) (25:30-26:56) (29:00-33:17)]

the whole episode honestly, start to finish.

no, im not including the ending speech it makes me physically ill

WITCH: This woman cared for you?

JOHN: Yes. 

WITCH: Lies! She cared for your mortal!

JOHN: He couldn’t hear her! I was the one who received her care, her kindness, her –

WITCH: Intended for another!

JOHN: What does that matter!? She knew no difference between me or him! She knew nothing of the soul that heard her, whether it was… (He sighs in frustration.) It was the same care. The same… compassion. 

UUUUUUUUUGGGGG

Honorary Mentions:

all of johns memory issues in season 4:

how every time he came back he would be defensive saying "right, i knew that!" even when he didn't remember, that's a classic.

Intermezzo: (5:00-5:46)

kayne and his many many voices/me not me/ its not about the names were given its about the names we choose

every time jarthur says we/our

The King:

"well at least thats what the loudest voice in my head says" ya? and how many voices are in there?

[kiwibongos]

warning for ab/se & toxic relationships. and sdr2 spoilers duh

im thinking abt the remnants of despair. cause i hate how it just seemed to be like, "theyre suddenly brainwashed and then they turn evilll and they kill because they dont feel anything" like, i hate that. it feels so underdeveloped. it cant just be despair, it has to be deeper than that, i think it'd take personal angles and link with a lot of their own trauma, leaving them really vulnerable and deranged. so heres my own interpretation and headcanons for some of them

contains mikan, nagito, fuyuhiko, peko, akane, kazuichi, and brief analysis of the rest. keep in mind i havent seen the animes yet lol so this is a basic layer of it, but i just rly wanted to let this out cus i dont see it talked about. storing my brainrot here for later moments.

first of all i feel like the brainwashing would be a very slow process bc junko would definitely just manipulate everyone in her way to get what she wants. and by the time the world was plagued basically, all the remnants clearly had really unhealthy feelings related to junko specifically. they all love her, hate her, or praise her, but its all in very different ways that would be bc of their own personal backstories

we all know how mikan and nagito feel. mikan was constantly hurt by other people before junko herself, itd make sense for her to develop a very unhealthy attachment to her. mikan was extremely vulnerable and controllable, she would do anything for anyone and especially junko, just so no one is mad at her, hence why it got so twisted to the point where she wanted to keep a part of her inside forever. she wanted to be loved so badly, she would take whatever form of it she could. thats why it was so easy for junko to get her under her boot. now nagito has an odd love-hate relationship with junko imo (his mind is so messed up man) even if he praises hope in such a grossly obsessed way, the mf still TOOK her arm. i know he did it because he hated her so much and i guess to take power back, but i feel like because nagito had never really been loved, he wanted to try and feel what it could've been like out of some kind of confused desperation and fondness for her in a way, because his mind has no idea what those feelings truly are or what they mean, as hatred and love often get mixed up in his head and form this horrible amalgamation with whoever he meets, which is clear towards the survivors in the nwp anyway

fuyuhiko put junko's own eye into his own socket, and i feel like his relationship with her while in despair would be familial and extremely unhealthy. he is definitely one of the most fucked up to me. id say by my own headcanons though its heavily implied in his fte dialogues, is his parents are very ab/usive right from the start. fuyuhiko is messed up to all hell, he was constantly struck and under pressure but he had to be strong and perfect because he was the head of his clan, hence like his insane tolerance for pain. he had to make his clan, or more importantly his parents proud, or else he was a failure forever. so he clung onto that and did his best trying to be good enough for basically anyone. and even before despair he was in a really bad stubborn, mean, depressive state, leaving him far more vulnerable and more open to violent, impulsive actions as long as junko was smart enough to get him under her finger. fuyuhiko never knew what true love felt like (platonic or not), and when junko took advantage of all of that and he slowly fell into despair, shit hit the fan. he lost morality and he had come so attached to her to the point where junko was like a mother figure to him. he wanted her to notice him and be proud basically, it was moreso the idea of someone-- anyone-- being proud of him, but junko was his main focus of that by now, given his state. to him she was like the mother he never had, who seemed to be on the same terms with everything he had believed, someone who approved of him, so he wanted to make her proud, even if it was hurting him. fuyuhiko would keep digging himself a hole of desperation and self destruction, seeking more and more pain to test his endurance because it's what she wanted, and that became what he wanted, too, because pain is all he's used to. and because of that, makotos guess was right; he wanted to see her despair. it'd make sense he'd want to take a part of her, to see horrors she had witnessed so he could understand it, so she could be proud of him and part of him forever. he felt like if he did that, he would finally succeed, he'd achieve perfection, and he did. he'd done everything junko wanted him to do, while quenching his own thirst for violence itself, all via his own delusions. that was love to him and it felt real

as for peko she was definitely also treated the same in the kuzuryu family but more dehumanized obviously, so i think she'd feel a similar way; always needing to be good enough, but more specifically protecting the ones she cares about at all costs even if it results in bloodshed. i think she'd be a lot colder, forcing to suppress her feelings since she just has to follow fuyuhiko wherever he goes, and she was pretty much as insane as him as well so anything slid. i know peko doesnt want to be a tool, but she'd definitely succumb to the fact that she has to be one when they're under despair at the same time, and if she was going to be his tool, she has to be like a robot and just do what follows, because she didn't see herself as a person, her chance of being her own human was ripped away

as for akane, she grew up very poor, and didn't live a good life at all either (w/ definitely bad parents) but she always tried her very best taking care of her siblings in the past, despite everything. i think there was a lot of twisted familial love with junko whom she started to see as a sister despite being unrelated, just because of being a caretaker all her life, its just kind of instinct to protect anyone, but that just got mixed up as she fell into despair, and she would only protect junko, while chaotically killing anyone else in her way. she'd fight for her endlessly, she was one of the strongest, at least for a while, im thinkin she found her body and wanted to preserve it as much as possible by the end of everything, she still wanted to take care of her and do everything for her even if she had been too late. and with that, and barely any food in an apocalyptic world, the inevitable happens. akane would fall into a very hurtful spiral of self hate, that her starving was a sacrifice to junko so she could prioritize her first instead of herself, while also it being like a punishment to herself for her own failures and how she was failing to preserve junko

kazuichi always hated himself. he was bullied often, didn’t have a lot of friends going into high school, and he was very desperate for attention, especially from women. he’d be very notably attached to junko which would eventually evolve into romantic feelings, similar to mikan. he craved attention and validation so much, it left him very vulnerable, and kazuichi often grows attached to people who show him a sliver of kindness anyway, so junko would likely personally manipulate him and praise him, and they’d grow close, and he’d develop a very strong attachment towards her that derails into love and lust. and once he was influenced by her under despair, he would do anything for her. so, he’d get his hands on a lot of weapons, and go on mindless killing sprees, causing havoc 24/7 just to please her and keep her memory alive through despair. and deep in his mind, he probably truly thought that junko was his soulmate, that they were destined to be together, and he was fulfilling missions just for her, and in the end, they could be together

extra stuff i guess? as anyone would expect, sonia just became a corrupted leader and took advantage of her power under despair. her kingdom would try to keep her above it, but she’d fall into it somehow anyway, and probably had already been plagued by corrupt/unjust views by junko before, so she’d lead her people to worship junko the same way she does, and anyone who stood against it would be punished severely. mahiru falls into morbid curiosity because of junko and gets worse, given what she does with her camera, also both mikan and gundham would try to stitch junko up a little, and try to keep her from falling apart as long as possible. mikan is more likely to do that for her own twisted romantic purposes, but if gundham gets a hold of her before or after mikan, he would take her blood for himself, and most likely start a cult to worship her, all for like weird satanic purposes involving rituals and stuff. he’d also encourage his members or the other remnants to indulge in certain activities for the sake of praising her. gundham would probably even believe she was some demon from the underworld who granted him powers and chose him to carry on her legacy

also teruteru was just a little hungry. boys gotta eat

[heyybaejjk]

SAU, LA'U TAMA AULELEI !

Pairing: teen!miguel o'hara x fem samoan oc

Summary: Miguel loved being within his own space, but he still had three friends that were persistent.

warnings/notes: I haven't read the comics, so its OOC Miguel :( mb gng. not much of reader x miguel just yettt. profanity, awkward moment

series masterlist

Everyone at school loves Multicultural day: The day where students are able to showcase a few variations from their culture, whether it be food, a dance, or a song. The day Multicultural day was announced, students who chose to participate in performing had 3 weeks to come up with something to show on the day.

Miguel loved being within his own space, but he still had three friends that were persistent. Every day since the announcement, his friends in their shared group chat sent a daily reminder to Miguel, and Miguel only, knowing his anti-social ass wouldn't show up unless they annoyed him enough to do so.

(M.Ohara_99) mahi_sniffer has mentioned you in pussy eaterssssss

Miguel groans at his phone in his hand, as he pushes the trolley in front of him even faster, speeding up so his mother that was beside wouldn't see his lit up notification. Swiftly typing with one hand.

mahi_sniffer: @M.Ohara_99 usi, you coming tmr?

M.Ohara_99: David, what the hell have I told you about our group chat name? My mum can see everything you type.

M.Ohara_99: I know what usi means. I've hung out around you idiots to know enough.

mahi_sniffer: mann 😞 it was fun when you were a plastic samoan mig

M.Ohara_99: I'm not Samoan

aluaigioukae: usi is a Tongan word stupid ass

mahi_sniffer: ohh u right

aluaigioukae: HOW DO YK NOT KNOW LOL UR TONGAN URSELF

mahi_sniffer: mb, thats what happens when im around your samoan speaking ass missus too much HAHAHA

aluaigioukae: stfu

mahi_sniffer: ilyt

mahi_sniffer: ANYWAY.

mahi_sniffer: miguel bruh, come tmr pls

M.Ohara_99: no

mahi_sniffer: pls

M.Ohara_99: no

mahi_sniffer: i'll buy you food

M.Ohara_99: no

mahi_sniffer: YOU DIDNT LET ME FINISH MF.

mahi_sniffer: as i was saying 🌝

mahi_sniffer: I'll buy you food for a week, even at our expensive and very overpriced canteen because you're my bestest friend in the world and because kiuga is a dog😞😞😞😞😞😞💔💔💔

aluaigioukae: WHAT DID I DO

M.Ohara_99: okay. see you tomorrow.

mahi_sniffer: IT WOKRED.

aluaigioukae: worked***

mahi_sniffer: fuck uppp, bet ur freshie ass missus can't spell that either

bololicker: can you both stfu

bololicker: @M.Ohara_99 I got you something to wear for tomorrow

M.Ohara_99: Nevermind, I'm not coming.

mahi_sniffer: YOU JUST SAID YES LIKE A WHOLE MINUTE AGO WHAT

Miguel chuckles to himself while smiling at his phone, abruptly coming to a stop when he feels the trolley crash into something. He looks up with widened eyes, seeing a bunch of packets and vegetables on the floor along with a basket.

"U-uh, fuck. I am so, so sorry," He apologizes instantly, shoving his phone into the middle pocket of his jumper loosely, making his way in front of the figure before getting on to his knees and picking everything up, paying no mind to who it was. Mentally cursing at himself as his knees click loudly, wanting to drown himself as he hears a soft giggle. He was grateful that whoever it was couldn't see his face, because his embarrassment grew even more and his face morphed into a little: 0-0. He grabbed everything and placed them neatly back into the basket before getting up and handing them to the person. Only to be face to face with her.

Fuck.

Manaia Fepuleai. The very girl that may have, or may have not piqued Miguel's interest since the very start of senior year. As well as year 11, 10, 9, 8, and 7...

Miguel found himself standing still in his spot like a complete idiot. This very moment was something he planned out as one of those scenarios he thinks of before going sleep. Always thinking of a plan if he ever sees her in public, that being: flirt.

"Hey, it's okay," Manaia smiled with kindness, sending a sense of relief down his body, though, he still couldn't help that little ink of a feeling of wanting to jump off a cliff.

"You okay? Hope my big basket didn't hurt you," she joked simply, covering her mouth with the back of her palm, the other hand holding the basket. Miguel looked back at Manaia dumbfounded. Looking back at the trolley he was previously pushing and the very obviously, smaller basket in her hand.

"Wh- huh?" He looked back awkwardly while she stood there with an uncomfortable silence, as well as an expecting look on her face. He stared at her for a few seconds with a straight face, braincells finally connecting and forming her words together.

"Oh- Ohhh!" "It was a joke."

The both of them spoke at the same time. She's the first one to speak, beating him and his cut-off apology.

This was going to be one of those embarrassing thoughts that makes him unable to sleep at night, indefinitely.

"You're so funny, Miguel," Manaia laughed once again, leaving Miguel unsure whether she was laughing at him thinking he was joking as well, but it didn't matter anymore. The somewhat awkward tension was gone, he thinks.

"So! Tomorrow.. Multicultural day, yaaaayyyyy.." Miguel slowly stretches the words while making jazz hands, smiling widely as she tried her best to contain her laughter.

Oh my fucking gosh, what the fuck am I doing, Miguel thought to himself.

"You're coming this year? Normally you'd skip out. I remember the other years when you wouldn't come."

"I- uh- well, I guess since it's our last year, I see no harm in going, I guess... Never knew you were so observant of me not coming."

Manaia feels her cheeks flush, smiling heavily as she pushes his shoulder playfully. Both smile shyly at each other.

"Shut up! I've got to get going, but I'd be happy to finally see you tomorrow. Me and the rest of the girls are going to be performing tomorrow."

"I'll come!" Miguel responded a bit too quick for his liking. Taking one step back, realising his excitement and awkwardness made them both stand so close. "Sorry. I mean, I'll come tomorrow for sure. If my friends manage to annoy me enough to come." He gives her a sincere smile.

She tilts her head playfully, a sly smile painted on her face, "I thought I'd be reason enough."

Miguel grew quiet, too flustered to hide his bashful smile. "We'll see tomorrow then."

M.Ohara_99 has sent a message to pussy eatersssss

M.Ohara_99: Disregard what I said, I am coming tomorrow.

bololicker: "disregard 🥸☝️"

aluaigioukae: AINGG SAY MUMS SOUL YOU'RE COMINGG

mahi_sniffer: whose ass do i need to eat to give my thanks , my daddy is coming after a whole hundred years 😖😖

M.Ohara_99: No one's. I'll see you all tomorrow.

mahi_sniffer: you reckon it was his missus??? you kno whoooo LOLOLO👀

aluaigioukae: did ms fepuleai finally talk to you into coming to see herrrrrrr

M.Ohara_99 has left the pussy eatersssss

bololicker: LMAO IT WAS, IT FUCKING WAS SEE

aluaigioukae has added M.Ohara_99 into pussy eaterssss

mahi_sniffer: we shall thank your future missus for the wonderful magic she placed on you

bololicker: amen, amen, amen

aluaigioukae: MANAIA 🔛🔝 ‼️ ‼️ ‼️

M.Ohara_99: Of me.

bololicker: OUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

mahi_sniffer: HE UNSENT IT LMAOOO

aluaigioukae: I ALREADY SCREENSHOTTED IT GUYS, DW DW DW

M.Ohara_99: Kefe

next chapter

andddd thats all from me for now!! i actually enjoyed this a lot. dont be afraid to leave a comment :DDD <33

likes, reblogs, a comment and a kind follow are much appreciated 😊💞

[yourlocalartsonist]

MONTHLY MFIP UPDATE✨✨

9/24 | Month 2 | Next Month | Month 1

Hey folks 🦐 I finally got the chance to make this month’s MFIP Update cuz god damn life was kicking my ass. College is fine for the most part tbh, just a lot of reading and writing cuz of the specific classes I chose. HOWEVER I have 💥FUCKING PMDD💥 so um skill issue on my part but it’s why I’ve been kinda exhausted as shit this week and was late with the update so my bad folks! (Also for more info on PMDD, click here! I don’t wanna spend this post yapping about it but wanted to leave a resource to spread awareness just in case :3). Also, Imma be tagging some of y'all who have been reading/supporting MFIP consistently just for this post, so yk you guys actually know these updates exist. I was gonna do that for the first ever update but as with many things, I forgor, so I'm doing it now! They’re supposed to come out on the 18th of every month, but yk sometimes life happens and I’m a lil late. It won’t be any earlier than the 18th tho so look out for these once it hits that date! Anywho, cheers to this month’s update!

Alrighty folks we be starting with the Art~!

Alrighty so obvious new thing, WE GOT RAPH’S REF SHEEEEEEEET TEEHEEEEEEE

BRO IM SO HYPE ABOUT IT! It turned out so genuinely amazing and I’m ridiculously proud of it! Especially cuz I honestly thought Raph was gonna be a harder design to figure out yk? I’m not used to drawing his body type, I wasn’t as familiar with his outfit, and even tho I’ve sketched him a few times before, I was just a bit nervous with Raph. Funfact, he’s also been the hardest to figure out how to write back when I was first starting MFIP. I genuinely don’t know why, but I got there eventually (I actually really love writing him now—) and same thing happened with his design!

Since MFIP’s taking place a few months after the Krang invasion, i’m able to take creative liberties and update the boys’ designs more! For some clarification btw, in my story’s lore, the invasion took place in September 2020, and MFIP starts on March 2021. Anywhizzle, my ideas for the boys’ designs is to combine their movie look with their show look, cuz while I do LOVE the black on them, it doesn’t feel right to me to not make them still unique in their own ways. These guys are all about authenticity, so why make their gear exactly the same, ya get me? I basically recolored his show gear to be black and red (and added a lil asymmetry on his legs) cuz I think it makes Raph feel older and more sure about himself, just feels right for him! I also just think the red fade on the black is hella cool! Fun lil color theory i think application, the black is more of a really dark, inky blue, so it makes the red pop out even more! I decided to make a bow out of his mask tails, too! I don’t wanna spoil the entire lore reasoning for it yet (it’ll pop up in the story), but I can indeed say it’s intentional that it looks a little like a lunamoth with damaged tails :3 I also took a BUNCH of creative liberties with his sais’ handles, since we haven’t really seen it much so like idk gaslight yourselves into thinking it’s always been this epic✨✨

Also I gave him his shorts back because FUCK YOU I LIKED THE RED TRIMMMM—

OH I ALMOST FORGOT yes he has longer eyelashes! I saw he grows to have really pretty eyelashes in the future cuz of his turtle species, and I wanted to lean into that by showing they’re starting to grow now :3

Bullshit Gag Because Yes‼️‼️

There ain’t shit to say about this, I just pulled a silly. I saw the fact Donnie was supposed to have a “Doctor Donatello” persona in the deleted episode where Dale turns into a werewolf. I’m really heavily on the train of Leo being the team medic and into medicine in general. I don’t think it makes sense for Donnie to be the medic judging by his sensory issues and this mf being as much of a germaphobe as my mom, and in my opinion it felt too stereotypical anyway to have Donnie be the medic. Ofc, to each their own, and this is just my interpretation of it, but I thought it’d be funny if Donnie still had this persona and was passionate about it, but was like horrifically bad at being a doctor. I made this dumbass sketch that I’ll finish sometime in the future (it’s gonna be a chapter in Arc 3 probably) and I just wanted to share it with yall~

THEY’RE HUMAN NOW⁉️

My ass wanted to show off cuz I’m sketching out some ideas of what my human designs for the boys culd be. I already did Leo’s like ages ago so he’s not on here but I’m realizing as I’m typing this my dumbass forgor to post it so um my bad I will do that in a few days—

But I wanted to design (or more accurately, redesign cuz I did draw em once a while back but I’m not satisfied with them) and I think I ate so far so uh yea. There isn’t any logic to sharing this, I just thought it was cool😭

And actually, imma share them here too just so y’all can see my boy ;w;

(A lil outdated cuz I didn’t give him lips at the time)

Okay there we go~

As you can see, I want all the boys to look kinda etherial and like they'd turn heads, and I think I am SUCCEEDING SO HARD SO FAR CUZ DAMNNNN THEY'RE ALL PRETTY AS SHIIIIIIIT TEEHEE✨ Also am tryna make sure they actually look Blasian since that's what the canon of my story says they are. I'll talk about them more another time when I have all of them on here~

But yea that's all for art this time folks :> ONTO THE NEXT THINGGG

Chapter Progress Time Whoop Whoooop‼️‼️

I didn’t make much progress on anything this month due to college—again, it’s fine, but there’s a shit ton of time management going on in my part to just manage everything and make sure I’m on track—BUT I am indeed still working on chapter 10. We’re up to 20 pages now which is only two more pages written from last month, but it’s kinda cool writing Donnie and I feel like I’m getting a better understanding of him! One thing I’ve been tryna do is understand autism better as a condition cuz I do wanna acknowledge and show bro’s autism instead of just ignoring it due to a lack of understanding. Donnie ain’t Donnie without it, ya know? I don’t know everything and tbh I would say I still have A LOT to learn on the subject matter, but I’m tryna expand my knowledge every opportunity I get and experimenting with how to better show it! This is to say tho, I’M NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL, NOR AN EXPERT ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM. This is what I’m finding and comprehending via my own research, and can tbh end up being wrong so please don’t quote me as a reliable source, I’m still learning ;v;

I remember one of the things I kept hearing about was autism leading people to struggle with empathy. The best way I heard it being described was someone bringing the example of when their friend was upset. That person can’t truly feel their friend’s emotions because they’re not the one experiencing it, so can’t properly understand how it’s making their friend feel. But they can see that their friend is communicating their sadness, and they still try to comfort them and make sure their friend knows they’re there for support. I understood it as bringing logic to emotions in a sense; collecting data and figuring out how to handle the situation based on the data rather than using intuition alone.

I’ve been using that to figure out how Donnie might handle more emotionally subtle situations, where he might try to rationally work through what’s happening and kinda substitute it in place of natural empathy. Like the little tidbit I gave above! Instead of just automatically being able to get vibes that the other person is upset, I felt maybe Donnie would instead notice the fact their tone is kinda different from before; it’s basically a data point. With that data point in mind, he could connect it to past experiences where a tone change could indicate a mood change, and as a result he might conclude that Salena’s tone change means she’s upset. I comprehend it as manually working through empathy rather than it being second nature, if that makes sense. Obviously and thankfully Donnie isn’t gonna spend the entire chapter playing a guessing game or anything with Salena’s emotions, it’s just one lil moment that I thought was cool challenge to myself with when writing him! I really love putting myself in the characters’ shoes when I’m writing them or their dialogue. I highly recommend it as a tool too, since it's helped me a lot with staying in character!

Last Lil Segment Y'all

Aight so, I wanted to try doing something cool if y'all are up for it. I really love rambling about my story and lore and characters blah blah blah, but I don't really know how to do so tbh. I'm not that familiar with how social medias work cuz I just never took it seriously, and I don't wanna just keep being like HEYYYYY ASK BOX IS OPENNNNN like I'm screaming from the top of the hill either. Sooooo insteaddddd

I think it'd be fun to do Q&As here! Or at least something similar. I'll open my ask box again and feel free to send any questions you want; it can be about the story, past lore, design questions, getting to know the characters, absolutely anything! Then when I'm gonna do my update for the month, I'll compile all y'all's asks, (prolly will have to tag to make sure you guys know I answered it, or if you ask anon then uh idk look out for the monthly update) and then answer them during the monthly update as the last section! I think it'll be a cool way to make this feel more interactive, and gives me an excuse to ramble. Don't be afraid to ask potentially spoilery questions either! If it's something I can't spoil yet or even give hints or vague answers about, I'll just say so in the update!

Anywhizzle, That's All Folks~!

I'm glad there was so much to talk about this month! I actually deadass thought it would be short but I should know better with my yapping' ass💀✨ But yeah, thanks for reading everyone! I hope y'all enjoy the rest of your days, and I shall see you next month~ Bye :D

Tageroonies:

@yosajaeofficial @chaoticspeedrun @ramblehour @randomcerealbrand @goldanrabbit @m1sf0rtun3 @foundthethief @ackalice @jellyfishheartsss @dollyrin @harukonene @iieieiw @mwantstossleep @zipzaizen @hypocriticaltypwriter @lordfreg @rainbowpr1sm @idioticsky @oleander-nin @cheeselord-official @skittlesqueen101

By the way, if you guys think you’d like to be tagged whenever an MFIP chapter is posted, lmk in a reblog or comment (no asks or dms plz, too inconvenient) and I’ll be sure to tag so it’s more reliable than tumblr notifs :3🫶

ROTTMNT: Moths Fly In Packs

[fatuismooches]

I don't know if you've written about this already, but my period cramps are so bad i had to leave school early and I need to self indulge in delulu comfort 😔

I need to imagine Dottore cuddling his so when you're struggling with cramps, rubbing his hands over your lower abdomen mgshshsghg🤭 he'd massage anywhere that hurts while his clones get you some snacks and comfy blankets... (I just know he would give you a hysterectomy the same day no questions asked🤭🤭)

If this happened in the akademiya, I'd honestly think that Zandik would have thought that you were overreacting and tells you to get over it so you could go to class finally. Except for the fact that you can barely get yourself out of your bed without wincing every movement and the fact that you look like you're either about to faint or vomit. He'll grumble about but once you realize that you aren't lying and trying to get out of going to classes he does begrudgingly help them. He'll make a makeshift heating pad quickly and get you some water and medicine, but he's really not the one you would look for for comfort... so that's really all he does (he is worried I swear!! He just doesn't know how to show it without being mean or sounding too wimpy!) And although he'll grumble, it is an excuse for him to skip class considering he's busy taking care of you... (and he will definitely use any excuse if it means not going to those wastes of time. But... doesn't taking care of you count as a waste of time? He tells you to shut up.)

WAHHHH IM CRYING 😭❤️❤️ I totally understand, period cramps can really be a pain dbjiedb but I really hope you feel better anon, that sounds pretty bad :( Make sure to take care of yourself and don't push it!

Ugh me loves this so much,, at this stage in his life he would so understand that period cramps and complications are no joke (he is still a doctor after all... just an unconventional one) so he knows you aren't exaggerating your pain,, You would just be sitting on his lap and one hand is on your abdomen and another is scribbling down paperwork (he is good at multitasking) AND OH if his hands aren't good 🤭 he knows EXACTLY what points to hit and how to rub you to make you feel as better as possible. And the clones, checking up on you every now and then too 🥺 They probably developed their own special heating pad for you too 🥱

But YEAH Akademiya Zandik would just be like 'what are you doing 😐' at first, the mf 💀 He would think you're just overdramatizing it to get a reaction out of him, but nope, you're literally curled up in a ball and clutching yourself, maybe even on the verge of tears from the pain. Well then, he sure doesn't think you're faking it anymore... He'll still mutter some things as he tends to you, but that's just how he is you know? It's his way of showing affection to you... although it doesn't seem like that. But you should know that by now. And he is a teeny bit softer with you too, tilting the cup back so you can drink it and making sure the chores you usually do are done by him. Just don't say anything before he starts up on you! (Though... he is not cooking for you because he WILL burn everything 💯 just expect to be eating takeout for a bit 💀) If you've been with him this long, you probably have become accustomed to just finding his mere presence comforting since he doesn't offer much of it, physically and verbally 😅

Don't worry reader, just wait a few hundred years and your perfect murderous doctor husband will have your body figured out 😌

[deaf-solitude]

GUYS IM SO NOT NORMAL ABOUT THE TWO NEW OFMD EPISODES TODAY!!!! MY BROKEN HEART WAS MENDED AND THEN BROKEN AGAIN WITHIN TWO HALF AN HOUR EPISODES SO WHAT IF I DIED TONIGHT

!! EPISODE 6-7 SPOILERS AHEAD !!!!

OHHHHHHHH MY GODDDD????? THE PARTY EPISODES JUST DONT MISS?? IZZY SINGING LA VIE EN ROSE (I LOVE THIS SONG) IN DRAG W/ WEE JOHN WAS CRAZYYYYYYY I WAS ACTUALLY ALMOST BAWLING AND KICKING MY FEET WITH MY FRIEND OH MY GODDDD

and listen im no izzy apologist, but GOD he has very quickly risen from one of my least favourite characters to one of my favs. I love him SO much. Con's singing voice? FUCKING GORGEOUS. and frenchie playing the lute again?? FUCK. you bet your ASS im writing a fanfic about that WHOLEEE episode. GOD. im so unbelievably happy about episode 6 you guys have NO idea. Last season's party episode was my fav prior to this, but THIS episode?? all time fav hands down. I hated that it was only 30 minutes though that shit deserved to be so much longer. and then the crew singing along through the credits and chanting one more song had me in tears, how dare they rob us of seeing that scene play out.

now dont even get me STARTED on episode 7. die. so what the fuck was that. I was LOVING when the episode started, saw frenchie shake some ass in the background and almost had a heart attack (i will forever be in love with Frenchie sorryyy), but then THAT. scene. WHAT THE FUCK. the lead up to ed and stede reuniting and making up was SO good and then THAT??? WHAT THE FUCK?? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOURE GONNA BE A FISHERMAN??? DIEEEEE. I wouldve COMPLETELY understood if Ed said the last night was a mistake and he had to figure things out before he could continue with Stede. thats fine. thats actually really great and really healthy and i love that, genuinely. but then the ARGUEMENT?? FUCK RIGHT OFF. MY HEART? SHATTERED. TORN TO SHREDS. PUT THROUGH THE BLENDER. BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK. EVERYTHING that this season had been leading up to and perfectly crafting all for NOTHING?? FOR THEM TO BE SEPERATED AGAIN?? no. im SORRY but i hate it. I *do* see it working out in a few select scenarios, but im still pissed. like if they dont have them meet back up in the most perfect way possible ill be so mad. like SO mad. and then the whole thing with Olu, Jim and Archie and Zheng Yi was so cute and then Stede had to RUIN it. god. i ahte when he gets drunk and starts aggroing at people, it never ends well. AND THEN THAT MOTHERFUCKER RICKYYYYYYYY. RICKY. WHEN I CATCH YOU RICKY. RICKY WHEN I CATCH YOU. THAT MF IS DEAD TO ME. HES BEEN DEAD TO ME. Zheng Yi's face when everything got blown up??? fuck RIGHT OFF KISS MY ASS RICKY. I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER GOD DAMN IT.

anyway im so sorry for that outburst i HAD to get that shit off my chest. anyway ofmd continues to be my all time fav show and i love it sm <3

also working on a request rn to post!! been trying to overcome my writers block and im really liking how this one is turning out. feel free to shoot me some more requests, including season 2 stuff! :D

[chempack]

ok everypony it is now 11pm and i am less sleepy so i will chatter about my oc idea. also @mnikhowozu hi :)

so my working name for him rn is adam white (bonus points if u can figure out the origin of these names. hint: consider some of my other characters names) but i will likely change at least the given name. i’m considering lucas but not sure, i just generally want something Classic European bc i feel like that’s what two mfs named James and Catherine would name their kid (bonus points if it’s biblical). as i’ve said i’m making the character so i can do tale of two wastelands (hopefully. if i can figure out the mod. haven’t tried yet and dk how it works so it might be complicated…) so obviously he starts as the lone wanderer

to contrast charlie (who has always dealt with barely contained rage and loathes his dad, blaming james for all the shit he had to go thru in the wasteland), adam is more forgiving to him. not that he doesn’t also have conflicting and negative feelings abt james, he does, but he also sees him as ultimately a Good Man doing things for the Bettering of Humanity. adam never had much ambition in the vault and was just kinda drifting along as he grew up, was probably gonna be a maintenance worker or something “basic”. he didn’t learn medicine from james because james never bothered to teach him and he never thought to ask to learn. BUT! later in the wasteland — most pointedly after james dies — he takes it on himself to become something of a doctor because he wants to Continue his parents’ Legacy. etc etc

i also have it in mind for him to wear a mask while traveling (think along the lines of the blastmaster helmet. except i’m actually thinking of something from the pitt i just don’t remember the name.) so just imagine this nervous 20 year old in full armor with an assault rifle comes running up to you after you were brutally beaten by a raider or something, one year post-project purity, and he’s like TRUST ME LET ME HELP IM A DOCTOR meanwhile he looks like an overblown raider boss

at his core he is a Coward and, again, not ambitious. chronically indecisive. he Wants to help but he does Not want to risk himself (though of course he does since it’s. kind of the nature of the games if ur playing a mostly-good character). this then leads him to just going along with mr. house when he gets to vegas, because he doesn’t want to rock the boat and, honestly, probably won’t even think to kill house. he has his own opinions, for sure, and he’s not a saint — the choices he does make still are bad at times. but generally, he takes the road of “what is the most helpful at large but also the easiest for Me”

also, i think the followers of apocalypse have a university in california or smth? isn’t that mentioned once or twice in fnv? not sure need to research. and also i’m aware it generally doesn’t really Match for the courier to be the lw but obviously i’m ignoring that for the sake of the mod. but, depending on whatever is going on there, the followers’ university is what i’m currently thinking of for why he went west, and he… idk, gets roped into courier work for money or for a relatively easy way to Help or something, and ends up caught up in new vegas politics

if anyone read this whole thing i love you forever and ever i’m hugging you in my mind palace rn. and if you know anything about this supposed university that i might have just made up in my head then please let me know. okay thank you love you byeee

[lixies-favorite-cookie]

Hello! I would like to request something a little angsty, where the reader has been in a long-term relationship with a member, and suddenly ANOTHER member confesses to her. I want it awkward and I want it FULL OF DRAMA! But obviously, it's up to you! (I originally imagined it with Chan and Changbin, but it would be interesting with any combo, so I'll leave that to you!) Thank you!

RAAAAAAWR mf my brain just went wild for this

okay so i may or may not combine this with a personal idea I had about the reader who has had a "dream journal" per say about her biggest love fantasies and felix (the og man I was gonna have this go with defintally going to still go with this if you like it) finds the journal and reads it and starts bringing her fantasies to life (not sexual ones like dancing in the rain and somebody writing poetry about her stuff like that) but she doesn't know he read it so she just thinks they are on the same wave length but someway somehow she figures out he has actually been reading it and she SWOONS he thinks shes going to be mad but shes like wtf this is an act of love in of itself being willing to act everything out for me BUT I HAD AN IDEA WITH THIS ASK

What if... shes in a relationship with chan and its getting really tense

spoilers under the cut so if i write this and you don't want spoilers don't read

Hes always away always writing new songs always working so she feels really neglected and starts falling felix for emotional help and she sort of brings up her dream journal to him (which is how he knows about it) and how she hates that she cant share stuff like this with chan and one day felix stumbles upon the book and makes it his personal mission to undertake every single page of the book bringing all your ideas to life even if chan is in the way buttt basically after a fight scenes some tension and awkward moments potentially drunk words and dances in the rain you get to the end (this may or may not be a long asf story like 20k words no promises but my brain is ZOOMING) where its bittersweet but she chooses felix realizing that her whole life she has been waiting for a man that will bring her dreams to life and she simply couldn't find that in chan

LAALALALALA so yeah what do you think??

this is chaotic asf but IM SO EXCITED

THANK YOU ANON PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!

[glutaminase]

Im living in a comedy btw i started T almost 2 years ago now without telling my parents bc Im a little baby (theyre not scary I just dont like awkward personal conversations) & just figured I would get to a point where the changes would be so obvious that i would be forced to tell them . which i did do with my mom after a couple months! but i kept procrastinating with my dad cuz he is a 65 year old indian man and i was like how do i even begin to broach this subject

WELL TWO YEARS LATER despite visiting my parents a few times a month I STILL HAVENT TOLD HIM ... and he ALSO HASNT SAID ANYTHING ????? and my voice has dropped and even when i shave religiously i have obvious stubble by the end of the day and when we're out i am referred to as a male by any and all strangers and yet i see this mf every other weekend and we simply carry on with our lives as usual. and at this point im like ok its been so absurdly long that it feels even HARDER to tell him wheuhjhkdhkehj anyway this is honestly kind of funny to me . but WHAT DO I DO

[baahsu]

HIII BAHH SRRY FOR DISINTEGRATING FOR A FEW DAYS OPLA HAD MOMENTARILY CONSUMED EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING

HOWEVER this has been sitting, unfinished, in my vscest doc for a while now so i decided to finish it up. here u go eat up friend :]] oh yeah angst warning at the beginning btw:

so. lies on the floor. ichiji deserves to get fucked stupid after having a bad day and im thinking abt him w yonji rn so. :)

emotions regained/vs bros redemption ichiji having that almost subtle kinda self hatred one day- (bc in emotions regained aus all the brothers are chronically mentally ill, they're so traumatized its painful :,D) -not the kind that makes you wanna scream or cry or throw up, instead the kind that makes your heart go a little faster than normal and that makes your skin crawl and makes you feel sick for being alive. the kind that builds and builds until it's too much.

yonji (the most *emotionally* intelligent one out of 124ji, methinks) eventually notices smthns wrong and asks ichi abt it and ichiji just Breaks. like he pauses, crumples into a ball, and starts pulling his hair and venting about how he feels so disgusting and unworthy of love and how he wants to rip his skin off for something new and he hates this he hates this he hates this he hates himself

and yonji LISTENS to him. he listens with a frown until ichi is fucking winded, hyperventilating, and sweating with frustrated tears in his eyes. and then yonji hits him with the

"What do you need me to do, Ichiji?"

then ichi just stops shaking (and breathing) entirely for a moment as the question registers b4 his shaking slowly starts up again and his bottom lip starts trembling and he slowly looks up at yonji with big ole watery eyes and shakily signals him over to cuddle and theybpagaufuafuaf!!!!

the two of em lying down w yonji holding ichiji tight against his chest- one hand/arm curled around chijis lower back while the other is running through his hair and ichis just curling around yonji like a koala. he buries his face in yonjis neck and is constantly mumbling "im sorry" and yonji says "theres nothing to apologize for" each and every time back, proving his point by pressing a kiss to a different part of ichiji each time.

this continues on until ichiji stops crying and calms down. then he thanks yonji by sitting up slowly and holding yonjis face in his hands and kissing him *so* gently.

^ idk maybe its just me but i feel like out of all the vs siblings ichiji would have the hardest time being gentle. sanji always has been, reiju *secretly* always has been, yonji *had* to learn to be (even when he was still emotionless) bc of his strength (and therefore it came somewhat easily to him when he got emotions), nijis always been a giant fucking tsundere so even though hes an ass about 90% of the time, he does have the capability to at least sit and listen and take care of someone he loves (especially after regaining emotions, the percentile changes from 90/10 to 50/50 then lmao), but ichiji?? the perfect, emotionless soldier, even after getting fixed??? practically unheard of.

so when he pulls THIS shit???

it makes yonjis libido go WHAM. like that mf went redder than chijis hair. might as well been a cartoon character with the way he practically started floating as his eyes turned into hearts

THEN. then that gentle kiss delvesssss

ichiji getting lost in his emotions, leading him to grab yonjis face so *desperately* and straddle his hips/lap and kiss him thru tears.. n yonjis there half dumbstruck half horny, grinding on ichis ass while the hands once petting his hair and stroking his back to soothe him move to squeeze at it bc holy shiiit what is happening rn yonji cant compute. do u see the vision 🙈🙈

then, SHOCKINGLY, (/sarc) they fuck each other stupid. like STUPID stupid. so stupid that when 023 find them in the morning they straight up think the two were jumped in an alley together or smthn with how marked up their bodies were n shit (but they figure it out real quick once they see how badly ichiji was limping :]) ((tho if you asked me personally yonji wasnt exactly walking straight either :]])) (((they are both switches :]]])))

AND SCENE. i wrote abt both ichiniji and yoniji b4 this so now the 124ji circle is complete lmao. i need more soft ichiji in my life and if theres no one to provide i shall make it myself :)) -J.J

Honestly relatable, I can't stop thinking about opla since the day I watched it lol it was so good and I want to rewatch it already

But back to vcest 👀

Ichiji being emotionally stunted after getting his emotions back is a concept that's always at the back of my mind but I never put too much thought into it, but now I'm 👀

I see him as trying to keep himself, and the others, together, he doesn't let his emotions run freely, he tries not to let them take the better of him else he might go down and spiral of self hatred and guilt, so he puts his energy into looking after the others and trying to come up with a plan to get them out of judge's grasp

It takes a toll on him of course, his repressed emotions keep building up and he feels himself going insane and with no way to vent

When yonji catches him like this, on the verge of panicking, he finally let's go and it feels so good and so freeing for once. Yonji's rock solid, he embraces him, takes his whole body into strong arms and makes him feel safe, and he doesn't budge, he lets ichiji cry against his shoulder until he's satisfied and spent

Ichiji's tired but tries to show his gratitude with a kiss and yonji combusts. It's not every day that he has ichiji this pliant and soft and sweet sprawled in his lap and he wants to do so many things to him but his brain's all muddled and he doesn't know where to begin!!

Once he gets a hold of himself tho, it's over for ichiji, the strength he used to comfort him will now be used to ruim him

[bonnielunkas]

from all the faz frights (tftpp aswell if youve also read that) stories youve read, rate the protags from most to least gay (i am going to heavily gudge you /not srs)

in my heart the correct answer is toby and pete bc they're dating but if im abiding by canon and acting like tober / toby x pete isnt a thing uhhhh im gonna try to like do this without just rambling abt my hcs

as SOMEONE has pointed out devon was hate-crushing on kelsey so like uhhhhh. him he's the most gay ( btw @thatoneautisticfnaffan sorry for the tag but i still cry every night thinking about this thanks a lot /lh /nm )

greg is like a very close second bc of THE FUCKING TALK HE HAD WITH HADI ABOUT THE FUCKING???? BEST PARTS OF EACH OF THE MOST ATTRACTIVE GUYS AT THEIR SCHOOL LIKE???

sarah why do you have so many posters of pretty girls in ur room,,, why do u want the beautifuls to notice u,,,, sarah girlie do u wanna talk abt it,,,,

ignoring tober uhhhh pete still seems a fruity to me. like he played football if he's not gay then he's at least like VERY homoerotic like most teenage boys but like. '' as a joke '' or some bs like that

no way toby is a straight man either,,, no mf that wears a beanie is im sorry

something about reed. something about him sets off my gaydar. i cannot explain it he literally has a crush on shelly but there's just. something about him.

hudson is a pathetic little bi man i will not be taking criticism at this time!!!

uhhhhhh jessica and britney feel like they would've become more than gal pals after highschool if they realized popularity is bs or smth

i hc millie to be omni so like take that how you will

robert like. once he gets back into dating if he ever does seems like he'd start asking questions abt himself at some point

alec is aspec i will no take criticism part 2

stanley is straight but like he's a very valuable ally to the gay people he's so silly

oswald!! is tryna figure himself out first lol

i have no idea what to say for oscar im sorry oos fans