#stole the hands from google sorry god i hate hands

[cats-thoughts]

"...what did you just say about my sister?"

[mye-chi]

6 and 29 for the ask game!

oh i didn't expect to recieve any questions but i'm flattered regardless! ૮( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)ა

06. what are your favorite and least favorite skins?

in no particular order these are my top seven favorite looks!

i think nekoette and dmitri are cute next gen designs without being a complete copy of their parents! i especially adore the white cat ears, light blue hair, and pink clothes that nekoette has, it's very pleasing to the eye.

likewise zoey got such a massive glow-up in s2 oh my goodness. i much prefer this color palette compared to the darker, saturated colors she used to have and the bright pink lips she had (only brendan and ginger laurance pulled off having lips imo). the clothes she wears are very cute too, really fits communicates that she's an elf.

rebirth aphmau my girl, my gal, my beloved!! i just think the markings are just such a great way of elevating her base design and immediately setting her apart from the other characters. equally i also really like the cocomau irene design, trading out the pale blues for a bright purple speaks to me.

i think lo's skin is a bit too pink and his new skin has his eyes way too blue, but as a general skin? prettier than the entire male cast. garroth who? laurance what? don't know them sorry.

i know the blue jacket laurance's skin is just an outfit template but oh my god does he pull it off well. my absolute favorite out of all of his clothes and you can pull that from my cold, dead hands.

AND I DON'T KNOW WHO THE PHEONIX DROP DAYS GIRL IS BUT OH MY GOD??? PRETTIEST DESIGN BY FAR??? when i stumbled across a photo of her my jaw dropped i was so shocked. girl, are you single i'm asking for a friend.

i also really like the kitty cat maid cafe butler uniforms for uhm. no reason. no reason at all!

...i'm not doing a top seven least favorite looks. these two are such a horrific crimes against fashion that the other mid looks weep in comparison.

they just straight up yoinked brian's skin and gave him four belts in return. what is that horrid chain mail texturing. an entire team of people allowed this look to happen. shame on all of you.

and don't even get me started on laurance. look at this guy. look at what he's wearing. laurance sweetheart honey babe. there's no way cadenza let you leave the house looking like that there's no way.

29. any general unpopular opinions?

oh boy this is long.

too many people are weird about jessica having a self-insert. there's a huge difference between not liking how jess's personal feelings have been a detriment to the series and vehemently saying you hate her for daring to include herself and her interests on her own channel.

"she's such a narcissist for including herself in everything" "why does she project herself so much on aphmau?" "i can't believe she stole her name after a final fantasy character—" personally i think it's based to get a shitton of money from role-playing your overpowered mary sue. cringe culture is dead and no this does not make me a jess supporter for not whining endlessly about the smallest shit. not all criticism is valid and i'm allowed to disagree with it.

also i find it tiresome when people endlessly complain about canon, prop up their rewrite, and said rewrite is just a bunch of bullet points on a google doc. which isn't to say that you aren't allowed to critique jess, i'd be a massive hypocrite if so, but atleast she actually made something. way easier to critique a piece of fiction when it actually exists (and on the same note, most rewrites aren't my cup of tea compared to just rewatching rebirth! which isn't to say that they're bad but i haven't found one that's of the same quality or pursues the same avenues that rebirth does. which, again, not a bad thing and absolutely understandable.)

and also i think it's fucking laughable whenever people rightfully complain about the problematic shit in canon but then keep/add problematic stuff to their rewrites. if i see another "🥺 omg laurance touching his s/o face" post i'm setting myself on fire.

...also i don't like younger dante hcs after someone tried arguing that he's canonically a child to defend putting him in a grooming subplot (no the fuck he isn't). i think the idea is nice and has a lot of potential but i'm probably never going to pursue the idea myself or interact with it from now on.

[calswildflcwer]

Starting Over !

Pairing : Carlos x fem!reader.

Info : This is part three of I Wish You Didn’t Love Me !

Warnings : FINALLY A HAPPY FREAKING ENDING !

Plot : Carlos finally discovers that he no longer cares about what the town thinks and wants to start over with you, you let him back in and he realises that the feelings had never changed between either of you.

Pronouns used : he/him for Carlos, she/her for reader.

Note : I am not a Spanish native and I don’t know any Spanish, all Spanish nicknames mentioned in this story are translated from google. If anything is wrong PLEASE let me know and I will correct it.

Song fic : Listen to this song, as that’s what this fic is based on.

Carlos taglist : @tigreost, @try-cry-why-try, @dai-tsukki-desu, @xxhome-is-where-ria-isxx, @cassiopeia-black-brenda, @elegantkidfansoul, @ale-creates-worlds, @eeyahhh, @camilos-mivida, @inky-clover.

Part One : I Wish You Didn’t Love Me.

Part Two : Think About Us.

Part Three : Starting Over.

You bounded towards Carlos, a soft grin spreading across your face. “So, I know it’s been a while but uh… w-would you like to maybe hang out?” You asked.

Carlos eyed you, was this a dream? Another fucking dream?

“Carlos?” You asked, clicking in front of his face.

He blinked back, staring at you in surprise, “¿Qué pasa?” He asked, confusion flickering across his features.

“Do you want to hang out?” You giggled.

It wasn’t a dream! It wasn’t a fucking dream! You were talking to him again! Carlos felt like celebrating, god, he’d missed you.

The twinkle in your eyes when you looked at him was finally back, Carlos felt his heart flutter slightly, a small smile crossing his usually scowling features; his face softening as he stared at you like it always did. “Yeah, yeah, I’d like that.” He finally answered your question.

Let’s bring this love back to life

Do you remember how to love me?

You and Carlos wandered the streets together, playing your pranks together, laughing loudly, you dragging Carlos along behind you. The villagers watched on in awe, it seemed like the pair of you were finally back to normal. You were back to playing pranks, you were back to laughing obnoxiously loud with him, you were back to paying for the fruit he stole.

The villagers realised that they were right, Carlos’ silence really was the quiet onset before a shitstorm of stealing and pranks started up again.

Carlos watched you as you laughed, his heart melting at the sound of it as he stared at you. God, he really loved you.

‘Cause baby, my heart hasn’t changed

Carlos sat beside you as the pair of you sat at the lake, “Listen, about those horrible things I said, I’m really sorry. I never hated you and I never meant to hurt you.” He sighed as he stared at you.

Your eyes met his, a soft smile crossing your features, “I know that, Carlos.” You responded. “I missed you so much and I know that the reason you pushed me away was due to fear of the townspeople. Dolores told me everything.” You sighed.

“I knew about your feelings for me, (name). And I knew that if we acted on them then the villagers would tear you down, just like they’ve been doing to me for years.” He sighed. “I felt the same for you but I couldn’t be the reason why your reputation suddenly diminished.” He added.

Please remember how to love me

‘Cause I still wanna give you my last name, oh yeah

You placed a hand on his cheek, a soft smile gracing your features, “That’s where the problem lies though, Carlos…” You began. His head tilted to the side in confusion, waiting for you to continue, “I never cared about what the townspeople thought.” You let him know.

“I know, but-” He began but you cut him off.

“Do you really think that the things people said about us would change if we dated? Did you really think that they would bring my reputation down just because I dated you? One; they’ve been trying to do that since we became friends. And two; not everyone thinks the worst of you, Carlos. Things wouldn’t have been much different if we’d have acted upon our feelings.” You explained to him.

Guilt and regret flickered across his features. “Lo siento, (name). I-I didn’t know.” He mumbled.

You smiled softly at the boy beside you, squeezing his cheeks slightly, “Let’s just start over, okay?” You smiled at him. He stared at you, nodding his head as he watched your skin soaking up the sun.

Let’s pick this up from where we left

Carlos eventually stood up, reaching his hand out towards you, “Come with me, I wanna take you to the other end of the river, the end that isn’t covered by trees.” He told you.

“The end that we always used to hang out at?” You questioned, only for him to nod in reply, a small grin spreading along his features as you took his hand and he pulled you to your feet.

I’ll take you places that we used to love

If we don’t try then we’ll never know.

The pair of you were soon at the other side of the river, the sun reflecting off the surface as you sank your feet into the cool clear water. Carlos stared at the sky, feeling the warm sun soaking into his features, letting the warm beams of sunlight soak into his sun starved skin. He let out a contented sigh, his mouth forcing words out before he could even process what he was saying, “What if we did give the whole relationship thing a go?” His eyes went wide. His hand lifting to cover his mouth.

Why the hell couldn’t he stop his damn words? Why couldn’t he keep his mouth shut? Why did they have to just fly out like that?

You snapped your head in his direction, your own eyes wide also, “Wh-wh… I… What?” You stuttered along your words, confusion etching itself onto your every feature.

Carlos stared at you, rubbing the back of his neck as he thought for a few moments, “Uh-uhm….” He began. He then sighed, turning to you; repeating the words he had spoken moments prior, “What if we did give the whole relationship thing a go?” He questioned.

Your eyes widened as he continued, “L-look, this is really difficult for me considering I’m not really that good with expressing my feelings and stuff.” He let out a sigh, “I’ve liked you a really long time now and it’s been difficult for me considering that I also knew of your feelings. It’s just, the towns insults and hatred isn’t the easiest thing to deal with sometimes and I really didn’t want you to have to live through that.” He sighed, placing his head in his hands.

“Carlos, I-” You began.

“Look, I know that you don’t care about the villagers opinions or anything like that. I just… I-I just… I love you, (name) and I know that if we dated then I would be in fights every day because I know the villagers would try to tear you down and I wouldn’t be able to live with that.” He rambled out.

It’s starting to feel like

Maybe we are starting over

Your breathing hitched in your throat, your eyes widened in shock, “Do you mean that?” You questioned. He only nodded slightly, you barely saw it, if you weren’t watching him carefully then you wouldn’t have even noticed.

It’s starting to feel like

We might make it out alive

Your eyes were wide, processing his words, your feet swaying back and forth in the cold, crisp, clear water of the river. “Carlos… I… Well, I don’t want this to be some stupid prank.” You sighed.

No, we’re not in the clear

But we are getting closer

“It’s not a prank.” Carlos reassured you, hesitantly taking your hand in his and giving it a squeeze.

“Then…” You thought for a second. Nodding your head slowly, bringing his hand up to your lips and pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles, “I say, let’s give it a go.” You grinned. “However, you have to ask me properly.” You wiggled your brows with a grin adorning your features.

Let’s bring this love back to life

Carlos stared at you, a soft smile gracing his usually scowling features, “(Name), will you be mi novia?” He asked you.

You stared at him, your eyes emanating nothing but love that Carlos nearly lost his shit right in view of you; nobody had ever looked at him like that before. “Yes, Carlos Madrigal, I will be your girlfriend.” You smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his cold cheek.

His face flushed the same colour as his ruana, turning his head away from you in an attempt to hide the flush that was currently covering his cheeks.

“Maybe things will work out for us after all.” You thought aloud. Carlos stared at you in confusion but you shook your head, “Don’t ask.” You laughed slightly.

“You know, Carlos, if we’d have just ignored the villagers this whole time, none of this whole separation and missing you thing would’ve happened.” You laughed.

Carlos cocked an eyebrow, nodding his head slightly, “Yeah, yeah I know.” I replied as you placed your head on his shoulder.

His breathing sped up, he was sure that Dolores could hear his heart beating in his chest all the way from casita. Your breath was hot on his neck, causing him to hold back a shiver. He was really losing his shit.

You eventually went home, planting a soft kiss on the boys lips before you parted from him, he watched you go, placing his hand over his lips as you walked into your home, a lovesick smile, that made him want to throw up, gracing his features as he spoke his next words and headed home.

“¿Ay, mi vida, qué diablos me estás haciendo?”

(Translation: “Oh, my life, what the hell are you doing to me?”)

~ Hey all! Here is the final little part for the song fic miniseries I made! I really hope y’all enjoyed this and finally a happy ending because I realised I can’t write no comfort fics because it hurts me too 😂😭 Anyways, lemme know what y’all think, angels! 😘 Stay hydrated, make sure you’ve eaten today, remember you’re loved more than you’ll ever know and stay safe, lovelies! Mwah! 💖

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Okay but like I feel like Diego is the kind of person to flirt with really bad pick-up lines and Klaus is just Not Having It

featuring: Diego being a flustered Mama's boy and Klaus being a disaster dumbass and the two of them being completely in love with each other anyway

DISCLAIMER: None of the pick-up lines are mine, but the responses and ensuing shenanigans are :)

(there's fifty of these so buckle up kids :) sorry not sorry <3)

seriously though some of these are really bad

#1: He A Snack

Diego: Baby, you belong in the vending machine because you’re a snack.

Klaus: Diego you know I’m claustrophobic.

Diego: Don’t you mean Klaus-trophobic??? *finger guns*

Klaus: *blinks*

Klaus: I want a divorce.

#2: I’m From Hell

Diego: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Klaus: I’m a veteran addict and abuse victim who can see ghosts, Diego.

Klaus: Everything hurts.

#3: Animal Puns

Diego: *points to TV screen playing the Discovery Channel* Hey Klaus.

Diego: You’re my otter half.

Klaus: Diego those are meerkats.

#4: Stars

Diego: The stars are beautiful tonight.

Klaus: Yup.

Diego: You know who else is beautiful?

Klaus: Ben.

#5: Get Out Your Handcuffs Mister

Diego: You’re under arrest… for stealing my heart.

Klaus: Diego you got kicked out of the police academy like five years ago, just give up.

#6: Bad Boys

Diego: *leaning against the doorframe like a moron* So. I hear you like bad boys.

Klaus: Diego you cried because you accidentally stepped on a bee last week.

Diego: Well yeah but -

Klaus: You held a funeral for it. You made us all speak. You had Allison fly in from California. It was a fucking bee, Diego.

Diego: … I wear leather?

Klaus: So does every other kid who shops at Hot Topic. You’re not special.

#7: Prince Charming

Diego: Your knight in shining armor is here -

Klaus: One, that’s a turtleneck, not armor.

Klaus: Two, you’re covered in blood. That’s the opposite of shiny.

Klaus: Three, you smell like dead fish. Go take a shower.

#8: Chemistry

Diego: Did we have a class together? Because I could’ve sworn we had -

Klaus: Chemistry? Yup. Also English and math and foreign languages and history and like every other fucking thing because we grew up in the same sadistic boarding school, Diego.

#9: The Store Can’t Just Give Away Things For Free. That’s A Terrible Way To Run A Business.

Diego: I like your pants.

Klaus: Thanks. I got them out of a dumpster. And yes, you can have them 100% off.

Diego: *voice cracks* Really?

Klaus: No.

#10: Boyfriend Material

Diego: My jeans are made of -

Klaus: You’re wearing leather pants Diego.

Diego: Okay but -

Klaus: So they’re made of leather and they’re not fucking jeans.

#11: Digits

Diego: I lost my phone number. Can I have -

Klaus: None of us have phones, Diego.

Diego: I can… buy us some?

Klaus: Fine. I want my number to be 1-420-420-4201.

Diego: Baby no.

Klaus: *pulling out the puppy dog eyes* Pwetty pwease?

Diego: Fine, but mine’s gonna be 1-696-969-6969.

Klaus: I love you so much. Marry me. Have my babies.

#12: Love At First Sight

Diego: Do you believe in love at first sight or -

Klaus: If I did I’d have already fallen in love with a lot of hot ghosts.

Diego: - should I walk by again?

Klaus: You’ve been pacing for the past ten minutes, Gogo. I think if it was gonna happen it would’ve by now.

#13: You Have Fine Written All Over You

Diego: Are you a parking ticket? Cause -

Klaus: Diego I can’t drive.

#14: His Eyes Are Green Not Blue You Dipshit

Diego: Your eyes are an ocean, and I’m lost at sea.

Klaus: ... can’t you, like, hold your breath forever?

Diego: *blinks* Baby, I love you, but you’re ruining this with our childhood trauma.

Klaus: Well since you’ve refused therapy I just thought this was the next best option.

Diego: I take back what I said about loving you.

#15: Math Is Dumb And I Wish School Would Stop Teaching It

Diego: Are you a forty-five degree angle?

Klaus: Actually, because humans have non-linear body shapes, it’s impossible for their specific angles to be measured -

Diego: Are you high or have you been defiling Five’s books again?

Klaus: *blinks* Why can’t it be both?

Diego: *rethinking life decisions*

#16: Baby I’m All Yours

Diego: Do you have a name?

Klaus: Klaus.

Diego: Or can I call you mine?

Klaus: I mean I prefer “baby”, but sure.

Diego: *super wide eyes* Really?

Klaus: *melts into a puddle of glitter* Yeah, Gogo.

#17: (Not) Bookworms

Diego: Thank god I brought my library card. Cause I’m here to check you out.

Klaus: *through a mouthful of waffles* God isn’t real. We all die and rot beneath the earth to be eaten by maggots. There is no such thing as a higher power.

Klaus: *swallows waffles and takes a really loud slurp of an orange juice and chocolate milk combo*

Klaus: Oh, and the library’s closed for renovations til, like, Christmas so you’re outta luck, sorry.

Diego: I thought you met god? Little girl on a bicycle?

Klaus: Her? Nah, only Satan’s got that much sass. Plus, that wasn’t heaven.

Diego: And you know this how?

Klaus: *squishes Diego’s face with both hands* Think about it. Do you really think dear ol’ dad’s in heaven?

Diego: Can you let of my face please?

#18: Bad Move, Buddy

Diego: Are you a pre-historic fossil? Cause you’re my missing link.

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: Did you just call me old?

Diego, backing out of the room slowly: What? No! No of course not! No, obviously no, absolutely not -

Klaus: *releases savage war cry*

Diego: *runs for his goddamn life*

#19: I Rate This 0/10

Diego: Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only -

Klaus: I don’t know where I’m from. I’m an orphan.

Diego: Oh… I know, baby -

Klaus: And the piece of shit that adopted me lived in New York anyway. We’re in New York right now actually. Do you need a geography lesson? I think Pogo’s got a map -

Diego: Klaus.

#20: Oh Shit

Diego: If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: *tears up* I’m nothing?

Diego: Oh no. No no no. No, baby, you’re not nothing, don’t cry, I’m so sorry, that’s not what I meant, baby - oh my god please don’t cry -

#21: You’ve Got Everything I’m Searching For

Diego: Is your name Google? Because -

Klaus: Diego. For the last time…

Klaus: My name is Kimberly Linda Aerealia Ulysses Saffron Hargreeves the Twenty-Fourth. I don’t know why I need to keep explaining this to you -

Diego, kissing him quiet: You’re my favorite person in the world, you know that?

#22: Don’t Make Bets You’ll Lose, Luther.

Diego: Luther bet me a hundred bucks I couldn’t talk to the prettiest person here. How do you wanna spend his money?

Klaus: Drugs.

Diego: Baby -

Klaus: *beams* Nah, I’m just kidding. Stuffed giraffes.

Diego: *grins* For Five?

Klaus: *nods* For Five.

Diego:

Klaus:

Diego: He’ll hate them.

Klaus: Exactly. Let’s go.

#23: Deja Vu

Diego: Have we met before?

Klaus: Yes. Obviously. Are you also high?

Diego: No -

Diego: Wait, you’re high?

Klaus:

Diego:

Klaus:

Diego:

Klaus: No?

#24: Such An Optimist

Diego: Are you a time traveller?

Klaus: No, that’s Five.

Diego: Cause I think you’re my future!

Klaus: *stares blankly*

Diego: No? Nothing? Nada?

Klaus: In the future we’re all dead dipshit.

Klaus: Because. Ya know.

Klaus: THERE’S A FUCKING APOCALYPSE COMING.

Diego:

Diego: Okay then.

#25: Please Go To The Hospital.

Diego: Are you my appendix? Cause my stomach’s fluttering and I think I should take you out.

Klaus:

Klaus: Did you drink water from the fish tank again?

Diego: *turning green* Luther dared me to okay???!!!!

#26: Suicidal Tendencies

Diego: Hey gorgeous -

Klaus: Let me guess. I should drop dead?

Diego: What?! No! Baby -

#27: Infinitely On The Naughty List (And Not The Good Kind Of Naughty List (If There Is One I’m Asexual I Don’t Know))

Diego: Are you Santa Klaus? Cause you make all my wishes come true.

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: You have five seconds to run.

Diego: *already two streets away* Fucking shit -

#28: You Can’t Use That Every Time We Have An Argument, Tony.

Diego: Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?

Klaus: I mean, there’s one in the corner of our living room right now, so I guess?

Diego:

Diego:

Diego:

Diego: *squeaks* You - you can see dinosaur ghosts?

Klaus: I mean, there’s a chance that thing Ben’s petting is just a super deformed ostrich, but yeah, I think so.

Diego:

Diego:

Diego:

Diego: *tearing up* That’s so cool.

#29: A Whole New Kind Of Thirst Trap

Diego: I’m thirsty. But guess whose body is 75% water?

Diego: *smirks*

Klaus: *frowns*

Klaus: Hold on, I know this one…

Diego: Klaus -

Klaus: *snaps fingers* Oh, I know! Luther!

Diego: *horrified* What the fuck Klaus why the fuck would you say that -

#30: What A Tragedy

Diego: You must be a campfire. Because you’re super hot and I want s’more.

Klaus:

Klaus: Diego sweetheart, you’re allergic to marshmallows.

Diego: *tearing up* I know.

Klaus: You wanna hug, baby?

Diego: *crying* Yes please.

#31: That Can’t Be Allowed

Diego: Don’t tell me if you want me to take you out to dinner. Just smile for yes, or do a backflip/somersault/counter-spin gymnastics combination for no.

Klaus: *smirks*

Klaus: *does a triple flip and lands perfectly on the top of the bar counter*

Diego: *turns bright red* That was h-h-hot.

Klaus: *beams and jumps down into Diego’s arms bridal-style*

Klaus: *kisses his cheek* I know, baby.

#32: Merry Christmas

Diego: You’re the reason Santa started the Naughty List.

Klaus: *blinks*

Klaus: *pouts*

Klaus: No fair! He told me last week I was on the Nice List!

Diego: What? Klaus? What does that -

Diego: OH MY GOD KLAUS IS SANTA DEAD???!!!!

#33: I’ll Keep You Safe, Honey.

Diego: I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me instead?

Klaus: *pulls out a stuffed tiger*

Klaus: He got lost in the kitchen. Don’t worry, I rescued him for you.

Diego: *takes soft tiger*

Diego: *voice cracks* Oh. Thanks.

Klaus: *kisses his forehead* You’re welcome, baby.

#34: Excuse Me?

Diego: The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.

Klaus, internally: Shit. What if he finds out I stole like five of his knives and all of the cookies last week?

Klaus, externally: *blinks*

Klaus: Um… Stefonopolis?

#35: I Am Not Apologizing For This One

Diego: If you were a steak, you’d be well done.

Klaus: But I’m so unique…

Klaus: I talk to the dead, Diego.

Diego: Okay…?

Klaus: *smirks*

Klaus: So wouldn’t I be medium rare?

Ben: Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#36: Leonardo Da Vinci Was Arrested Multiple Times For Homosexual Activity.

Diego: Is this a museum? Cause you’re a work of art.

Klaus: *dancing to the soundtrack of High School Musical 3* Actually Five took me back to Italy once. Leonardo da Vinci and I had some fun.

Diego:

Diego: Oh my god. Seriously?

Diego: *looks up picture of Mona Lisa, now titled Mona Klausa*

Diego: How the fuck -

#37: Why Would You Say That Though

Diego: Am I sleepwalking? Cause I’ve only seen you in my dreams.

Klaus: *sitting on the counter and eating a donut in one bite* Are they dirty?

Luther: *chokes on a pickle*

Diego: Oh my god no -

Diego: Well sometimes -

Diego: I mean no of course not -

Luther: *praying to whoever’s up there to just kill him already*

#38: Be Safe Kids!

Diego: Can you hold this for me?

Klaus: Sweetie, you need to wash your hands.

#39: Apocalypse Averted!

Diego: If looks could kill, you’d be a weapon of mass destruction.

Klaus: *blinks*

Klaus: I thought that was Vanya.

Diego:

Diego, panicking: Holy shit Klaus you can’t just say things like that -

Vanya: *crying from laughter*

#40: Attractive

Diego: Do you swallow magnets? Because you’re -

Klaus: *shoves him up against the wall*

Klaus: How did you find out? Who told you? Was it Ben? I swear to god I’ll kill him -

Diego: *squeaks* What?

#41: First You’ve Gotta Propose Diego

Diego: Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?

Klaus: Diego. Did you buy me a cake?

Diego:

Klaus:

Diego:

Klaus: I’m waiting.

Diego: Right sir yes sir right away sir -

#42: He May Not Be A Kitten But He Is As Soft As One

Diego: If I followed you home, would you keep me?

Klaus: I’m homeless, Diego.

Diego: What? You are? Oh no, baby - you can come stay with me?

Klaus: *looks up from Disney Princess coloring book and raises an eyebrow* Is your bed available?

Diego, blushing: Ye-yeah, b-ba-baby. Whe-whenever you-u w-want.

Klaus: *smiles*

Klaus: *takes Diego’s hand*

Klaus: Okay.

Diego: *dies a little bit inside (in a good way)*

#43: It’s Just You.

Diego: Is it hot in here or is it just you?

Klaus, blushing: I -

Five: DIEGO. THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE. NOW IS NOT THE TIME.

#44: ‘Scuse Me, Mate?

Diego: You know, penguins mate for life. Wanna be my penguin?

Klaus: Eh. I’ve always been more of an iguana man.

Diego:

Diego:

Diego:

Diego: What?

#45: You Look Like… Antonio Banderas With The Long Hair.

Diego: How’s the most beautiful person in the world doing today?

Klaus: *buried in a Vogue magazine* I don’t know I’m not Antonio Banderas.

#46: What The Fuck Klaus

Diego: Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.

Klaus: *hands him a Candyland board* Here. I stole it from Pogo.

#47: You Dumbass

Diego: I hate my last name. Can I borrow yours?

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: We have the same last name, Diego.

Diego: *blinks*

Diego: Fuck you’re right -

#48: Okay But Diego Would Make A Great Aladdin Though

Diego: I’m not a genie, but I can still make your dreams come true.

Klaus: *wrinkles his nose*

Klaus: You can get me a pink elephant with jaundice?

Diego: *blinks*

Diego: What the fuck Klaus -

#49: HELLO

Diego: Is that a knife or are you just happy to see me?

Klaus: I don’t just have random knives on me Diego, I’m not you.

Diego: So you are happy to see me?

Klaus: I mean you just interrupted a very riveting episode of Sesame Street, so… we’ll see.

#50: It’s Always Best To Start With The Truth.

Diego: I love you.

Klaus: *beams* That’s all you had to say, darling.

[imkylotrash]

Hidden Truths

Pairing: Hardin Scott x reader (Platonic)

Summary: Can you write something where the reader learns she was kidnapped at birth and Hardin helps her through the trauma? Anonymous

Warnings: Angst, kidnapping, trauma, mentions of miscarriage. Let me know if there are more. 

A/N For this one Hardin stayed in England with his mom. Also one of the hardest concepts I’ve ever tried writing. 

It starts out as a joke. You just want to know more about your ancestors and there’s this trend going around that you send in your DNA and it tells you all about where you come from. The 5% Ireland doesn’t surprise you. Frankly, you expected that part. It’s the 80% Canadian that surprises you. Your family hasn’t left England for centuries. You did a family tree as a school project in 3rd grade and you know your roots are English and somewhat Irish. Why would the test tell you that you’re from Canada? 

“Mom? Do we have any family in Canada?” Her hesitation last only a moment but you notice it all the same. 

“No, honey. We’ve never even been to Canada.” Your mom has a tell. She always lift her right eyebrow slightly whenever she’s lying to you. It’s something you picked up along the way when you watched her lie to her clients. Over the next few days you can’t shake the feeling that there’s something about Canada you need to discover. 

“Maybe you’re adopted?” Hardin speculates. You’re lying on his bed while he’s placed himself in his desk chair. 

“Don’t say that. My parents are my parents.” 

“It’s possible. You said your mom had a weird reaction.” You hate that he’s making sense. You don’t want to believe that you’re adopted. This family is all you have and to find out it may be based on a lie would destroy you. 

“But if they won’t tell me anything, I’ll never know.”

“So quick to give up?” Hardin asks with a smirk turning his laptop on. You can hear his mom rummaging downstairs and you wonder if she knows something. If maybe your mom told her something over a cup of coffee while 10-year-old you and Hardin played out in the yard. 

“We could always look it up. Maybe you can access your file. If you have one.” He starts searching google for adoption agencies in Canada and even though you’re not remotely ready to consider you might be adopted, you still peek over his shoulder to see what he finds. 

“If there is a file, it’s probably closed. I mean, all the shows always say those kind of cases are closed.” 

“You mean TV-shows?” he chuckles not even looking up, “what the hell?” In an instance, you’re right next to him. 

“What? What is it?” It’s an old article of a baby that was kidnapped. You look at the date only to realise that it’s your birthday. The baby was kidnapped the same day you were born. But that’s not the weirdest part. It’s the photo of what the baby would approximately look like now. It’s the spitting image of you. The article mentions a birthmark on the hip. The exact same place as your birthmark. 

“This is seriously freaky,” Hardin comments. You tell him to close the article and pretend you didn’t find it. It’s too much information and you need to talk to your parents. But when it comes down to it, you’re too scared. It takes you weeks before you feel ready to do something. You’re terrified of the truth, of realising that your parents not only weren’t your biological parents, but that they kidnapped you as a baby. Who even does that? 

“I think I need to find out,” you tell Hardin one day. He buys plain tickets to Canada within an hour. You lie to your parents as you’re packing your bag hoping that the universe forgives you. It’s not that you want to lie to them, but they’re not being truthful and you don’t trust them to tell you. In less than 24 hours you’re standing at the Canadian airport trying to catch a taxi. You don’t even know what you’re going to tell these people but all too soon you’re standing at the address mentioned in the article. 

“I’m right here next to you. Just say the word and we’ll get out of here.” You’re so thankful for his support even if you don’t have the words to tell him right now. You knock on the door and your possible birth mom opens up. Her reaction is instant. Tears fill her eyes. 

“Oh God,” she whispers almost reaching out to touch you. 

“I found an article online of a baby that was kidnapped.” You hold up the picture with shaking hands. This may be nothing but you need to know. You need to know if you were robbed of this childhood. She invites you in for tea and you accept. Hardin is right behind you the entire time making you feel safe despite everything that’s happening. You’re pretty sure if he hadn’t come with you, your sanity would jump out the window. You try to keep the conversation with Diana light because you’re not ready to dive into the serious stuff just yet. At some point, her husband Joseph comes home from work. They’re nice people. At the end of the day, you have to return to England but you get their information to stay in touch. You want to stay longer but you’re also itching to return and confront the people who took you. Anger fills you when you think of the childhood taken. You agree to leave them a strand of hair for a DNA test so you all can get the answers you so desperately crave. It isn’t until Heathrow airport that you break down. It comes sudden and overwhelms you. Hardin holds you tight as you break apart. He keeps shushing you as he leads the two of you to the taxi outside. 

“I’m sorry,” you hiccup through the sobs but he just shakes his head. There’s zero judgement in his eyes and it isn’t until you’re parked in front of your house that you realise he still hasn’t let go of you. How did your life turn into an episode of Criminal Minds? 

“Do you want me to come in with you?” he asks. Maybe you should be scared to go confront them but the need for answers overshadow all the other feelings. You have to know and for some reason, you feel sure they won’t harm you. 

“I think I have to do this alone.” So you hug him one last time before entering the house on your own. 

“Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick!” So apparently the lie didn’t last that long. 

“I went to visit Diana and Joseph. My birth parents.” You could hear a pin drop. They both stand still in utter shock. 

“Anyone want to tell me why I was kidnapped?” You’re angry and hurt and terrified but you need to have this conversation in an attempt to find some peace. What you don’t expect is your mother to sit down with tears streaming down her face while your father places a hand on her shoulder. 

“I had three miscarriages. It was horrible. After the third one, I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t go through the pain of losing a baby again. Instead we started looking at adoption agencies but it was expensive. There was no way we could afford it.” Shame dominates her features as she tells the story. You try to hold on to your anger but you’re looking at a broken woman. She’s unable to continue so your dad takes over. 

“We finally found an agency that offered their services to a price we could afford. It was very discreet and we received no information. We didn’t know until after we got you. We never would’ve accepted it if we knew. You have to believe that. But when we heard about the missing baby, we’d had you for almost two months. And we couldn’t give you up. So we closed eyes and ears to everything on the news. In the end, we managed to convince ourselves that it wasn’t you.” It’s too much. You want them to be the villains who stole you away from your real life but you just feel sorry for them. Everything they went through. There’s no arguing that what they did was wrong and awful but they just look so sad and small standing before you. 

“I need some air.” You don’t even look back but instead head straight out where you find Hardin. 

“I know you said you wanted to do this alone but I figured you’d might need company.” There’s no hesitation as you walk into his arms. You have no idea what the future will bring. You want to know your birth parents. And you have no idea what to do with the people who raised you. It’s all just too much for you to comprehend right now. But you do know that Hardin will be right there through everything. In the chaos, he’s your constant and you’re forever thankful. 

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 14-20 thoughts!! I finished up s1 :D these last few eps were actually really really good!!!

-did. did tucker really just say esperanto was a dead language only spoken as a secret code between geeks. google says around 100,000 people actively speak it. oh my god...it being an auxiliary language doesn't mean its 'just for geeks to speak in code' ...it helps bridge gaps between people who don't have a language in common...

-danny really isn't pulling punches when it comes to fighting the ghost-cop possessed people huh. like he SLAMMED KWAN INTO THE CONCRETE SO HARD. HE THREW PAULINA INTO A BILLBOARD. will that...I mean it WOULD carry over to their bodies non-possessed, right? like if the ghost piloting their bodies gets hurt?? itd be so upsetting to be possessed, lose time, then wake up covered in bruises (and possibly, broken bones??) real horror movie stuff im sure wont be addressed in any way

-tuckers parents seem nice! I like them :)

-WULF IS CUTE AND I FEEL BAD. im so glad the gang realized he was only causing trouble bc of the shock collar walker put on him and helped. also, him wearing that big hoodie with the hood on, and thinking its subtle. we can tell youre still a giant wolfie :) THEN GETTING SUCKED INTO THE PORTAL AAAAH :( anxiously waiting to see Him Again....

-DANNY BLASTING HIS PARENTS THINKING THEY WERE OVERSHADOWED LMFAO GET THEIR ASSES. maddie marking how many ghosts she gets with lipstick tallies on the side of her portal gun? kindaaa iconic tho. (ALSO, SHE WAS LIKE, 2 FT AWAY FROM HIM RIGHT AFTER SHE TRIED TO SHOOT HIM. HOW DO YOU NOT RECONINZE YOUR OWN SON??? like sure, he might have diff hair/eye colors. but like, if one of my family members dyed their hair, and was wearing contacts, its not like id be like 'wHO IS THIS STRANGER!!!' ...he still has all his facial features!! same everything!!! I hate it here)

-paulina being #1 girl realizing danny's a friendly ghost immediately. smart queen. lancer and kwan ran away right after he made this sweet baby face at them:

which is hilarious.

-ok. im not saying his bullying is JUSTIFIED, but. dash looked so pleased with the (cute!) poster he just painted, and danny comes thru the wall and spills paint on his nice letterman jacket. his anger is justified maybe 65% of the time so far...(not the way he handles it, but STILL.) at least lancer is stepping in!! and them making a silly little bet was...cute?? until dash pulled out his GROSS UNDERWEAR AND SAID DANNY WOULD HAVE TO EAT THEM???? WHAT THE FUCK MAN. TUCKER WAS SO RIGHT ITS FUCKING WEIRD TO CARRY THOSE AROUND EWWW. THIS KID IS UNWELL. lancer was right, his animatronic setup was SUPER IMPRESSIVE?? hes actually pretty creative. danny meanwhile is stealing the fright knight's design...I hope dash is taking art classes or smth with his sports

-fright knight is the most bestest ghost so far i LOVE THAT DESIGN. I am biased towards knights, and characters with swords, but he fucks so severely. and should sue danny for copyright infringement for stealing his design for his haunted house. if some 14 yr old broke into MY house and stole MY sword, id also be pissed. his evil winged unicorn rules too with its FANGS. and he just CAN SHOVE THE PORTAL OPEN WITH HIS HANDS??? is he the strongest ghost weve seen so far? idk but hes my fav. SOUL SHREDDER IS SUCH A COOL SWORD NAME TOO. ANY NAMED SWORD ALSO FUCKS. 'flaming bedsheets of DEATH' funny king. ALSO he was polite to dash and tucker when just asking for directions and telling tucker 'oh maybe, just a suggestion, maybe be nicer to me and be more respectful :)' I LOOOVE HIM.

-I noticed this in the Ember ep, but jazz has an electric guitar in her room!! talent musical queen!! its cool to see hobbies just in the bg.

-fright knight's murder castle reminds me of the booby trapped murder castle in zexal!! another supposedly 'for kids' show with murder/trap castles! we love that. if you are a dp fan reading this, give yugioh zexal a try. its also got 13-14 year old protags and involves (alien) ghosts. the cardgame is just a vessel for the plot, which is really good. (I just want more people to watch my fav yugioh, man)

-danny. with a SWORD.

-danny doesnt NEED TO WIN this contest, dash didnt STEAL HIS DESIGNS AND STEAL A SWORD. he also got excited to hear lancer got sent to a dimension with his worst fears too just so he could win the contest? DANNY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! BRO MAYBE YOURE 14 AND HAVENT FULLY DEVOLPED YOUR WHOLE BRAIN YET, BUT...THATS FUCKED. this kid casually says the most deranged things, I do worry for my spooky son. once again, therapy needed. that judo toss was great tho. I wonder if he actually did pick up some martial arts stuff from his mom?

-danny can fly 112 mph!!! thats so fast! I love the lil montage of him and his friends testing his abilities and stuff, very cute and a good way to showcase what he can do by now and how much more proficient he's gotten from ep 1!!! I'm sure he's going to get more abilities :)

-im glad...maddie's at least TRYING this ep. I do feel for her because her husband is a man baby. but the fact it took 16 episodes to get a kinda semblance of any kind of real concern or attempts at bonding. hmm. jack's 'BACK OFF SHES A MINOR' @ the ghost trying to attack jazz. also was very funny. and him wanting to make an action figure of her? are the parents redeeming themselves to me? slightly. they gotta Work Harder

-THE GHOST. IS FLYING. THE PLANE.

-fenton machete. but she doesnt carry a PHONE??? ???

-I mean I expected vlad when you namedrop him earlier in the ep, and also the title card picture, and dalv corp being fucking vlad backwards. but seeing him just pull up on a golf cart made me bust out laughing. WITH the gift baskets prepared. why wouldnt you at least be suspicious. also, if he wants danny to be his lil sonboy, why is he so fucking malicious?? dude you are going about this in such a bad way. stop it. get some help.

-maddie not even hesitating to drag danny out. fucking good. danny is so right, go on the internet to date. get a cat. how do you spend...how many years?? has it been since college?? at least 20, right, since the parents/vlad are in their 40s? hung up on ONE girl. my god, man. incel drama queen. her kung fu IS impressive, but dude. 'we both know hes a creep' SO right. it sucks but they do need a phone and shit being in the middle of NOWHERE. also, just stealing his helicopter was great. <3

-'you must be exhausted carrying the weight of that mistake you made years ago' 'well we all make mistakes. maybe I'll make one now!' WHY DID THIS EXHCHANGE SEND ME. AND VLAD WITH THE BREATH SPRAY EWWW BITCH. 'OLD BAIT BREATH' SOO RIGHT. both danny and his mom playing him HAHAH hes so dumb. or rather, I think he thinks with his emotions too too much and is...actually pretty gullible? lmao he believed danny was ready to give in SO fast. (which is sad hes that hopeful, like you have SO MUCH MONEY YOU COULD EASILY GET ANOTHER GIRL WHO HAS A KID. AND WOULD WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND BE SUPPORTED. GET OVER THIS (1) WOMAN ALREADY IM GETTING SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT AAAAH)

-GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR. it was also in the title card, but I still got very excited. we love bears here

-SAM'S BAT SWIMSUIT COVERUP!!! her outfits are simply iconic.

-'i'd tell you to go to the mens room, but I don't think you qualify' top paulina transphobic moments. :( and him wearing a tanktop to the swim park? hmmm! (actually I think she was overshadowed by then, so, KITTY top 10 transphobic moments??)

-kitty just piloting paulina around makes me feel SO bad tho, paulina's gonna wake up and be like 'wtf do you mean I was dating this rando' like youre leading danny on to make johnny jealous, and also just POSSESSING POOR PAULINA. dude take your relationship problems ELSEWHERE. last time we saw them, they seemed like such a cute couple!! wtf johnny!! I mean, she sucks for trying to make him jealous, he sucks for looking at other girls...maybe they need a break, but Not Like This. or, you know, just. better communication...

-and the A-listers having a full packet and a stamp system. who organizes this. kwan fucking owning being the new danny though, this is hysterical. THE TUCKER/KWAN FLOWER FIELD TWIRL. UNIRONICALLY ADORABLE. and him giving it his all for the poetry slam. bless his HEARTTTT.

-Star owns. actually, all of the extra characters are shining this ep and I love it.

-INVISO-BILL??? NOOOO THEY DID HIM SOO DIRTY. DANNY SWEETIE IM SO SORRY.

-johnny and danny bein friends and staging a fake fight (which danny takes too seriously, once again this child has aggression he NEEDS TO WORK OUT) I hope these three stay friends, I said it before but danny needs more friendly ghosts to hang with.

-at this point, Danny's ghost enemies are a lot like, I dunno, batman's rouge gallery is the first thing that comes to mind. they all have their own gimmick and unique designs, but most of them are easy to beat after learning the Moral Lesson. I still get excited when any of them show up again, though. 18 is another valerie episode!!!! :D skulker really said you two will get along if I have to handcuff you together <3 and the gym teacher really said, youre married now, have a flour baby! ngl, I'm not really watching this show for the shipping stuff (which I am very scared to look at the fandom for after I finish this watch through- I feel like there's probably discourse/arguing about ships...) but. I'm gonna put my opinion out there. valerie/danny > sam/danny. maybe I just really love the enemies to lovers trope. And the secret identity stuff adds Extra Flavor.

-SKULKER JUST HAVING THE BOX GHOST AND DANGLING HIM BY A STRING. HILARIOUS. and him watching them with binoculars and making his silly little commentary. AND MAKING THE SACK BABY CRY. LMAO. THIS DUDE IS A BABY KIDNAPPER. skulker is super fun

-danny, you just...collapsed the water tower. and then attacked the nasty burger machine...mascot thingy...out of anger..I KEEP SAYING HE'S GOT ANGER ISSUES BUT. HE REALLY NEEDS A LESSON IN MANAGING COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!! So does valerie!! They're both pretty focused on each other. I mean it's good of Danny to say he's trying to make sure PEOPLE don't get hurt, but... (I mean I guess it's not something 14 year olds WOULD worry about, but as an adult im like, who's going to fix that? how much money will that take??)

-TUCKER MAKING BANK. and sam and tucker being super emotionally attached to their flour baby and being pretty good parents. that's cute...also him just straight kissing her and being like. WAIT. O_O JDSKAFHD. his mom baking them into cookies was the funniest possible result. tbh I dont feel like this is on tucker, if anything the other kid's shouldve been more responsible! He was just taking an opportunity to get that $$ which I respect

-Danny being more understanding of Valerie's situation in the end (helping her at her job, too, and trying to keep that a secret for her!!!) And seeing them work together this ep, and also her letting phantom get her out of the ghost zone...was very sweet. LOVE that. more valerie eps pls

-me when I realize vlad's big stupid house exploded because of his own carelessness with changing the ghost portal ectofiltrator or whatever: *pointing and laughing*

-me when I realize it means he's gonna go make danny's life hell for it somehow: >:(

-SCOOBY PARODY!!! I feel like there's gotta be some scooby doo/danny phantom crossover stuff, right? also, 'guys in white' men in black wishes

-'oh, that's right! dad married the love of your life! you're bitter and alone!' DANNNNNYY GET HIS ASS ONCE AGAIN WE ARE POINTING AND LAUGHING AT VLAD

-'jack, you captured the ghost boy!!' UMM. he did nothing <3 'we have a weapon's vault??' YOU HAVE A WEAPONS VAULT??? and jack didnt put a handle on the inside. of fucking course he didnt! why would you leave that to your son!! or expect him to clean YOUR LAB when its where you work with probably dangerous chemicals and weapons and hes 14!! give him normal chores, like, I dunno, vacuuming, laundry, dishes...CMON. I hate it here. But I'm glad Jack is more chill about danny while he's a ghost, and willing to work with him for this ep. AND. I DID ENJOY JACK PUNCHING VLAD IN THE FACE. AND GENERALLY JUST OWNING HIM. the ghost punchy fists are actually amazing. like yeah, just punch a ghost in the face. that rules.

-ep 20 opens with the coolest fucking ghost lady design. her tattoos can come off and fight. MA'AM. I like ur nose ring and your cape maam hello 👉👈😳

-sam's grandma is hilarious and the most valid member of her family and I love her. thats my grandma now. and tucker covering for sam by dressing as her. thats true friendship <3 also skipping school to go to a goth circus. just bestie things! sam's parents are haters but for all the wrong reasons.

-'my family has controlled ghosts with this for generations!' WAIT. WAIT FREAKSHOW /ISNT/ A GHOST? I didn't expect that...he's just a fucked up guy controlling ghosts? anyway watching danny shoot at police cars and rob banks while mind controlled. its like, the most stereotypical 'bad' things lmao. (tbh an evil ghost circus troupe is a sick concept)

this gives off big deviantart emo edit vibes

(I'm going to assume evil circus reaper danny has a lot of fan content. people love an edgy au, except this one is canon (even tho its via mind control...having the protag go evil otherwise might be hard, I guess?) but au where he stays with the troupe...that has to exist, right?)

ANYWAY. excited to start s2!! lowkey surprised by how many notes some of these posts have gotten. I've gone back and tagged them all with 'dp thoughts' so they're easier to find on my blog! ^^ and I will probably possibly do (more) fanart on my art blog after I finish the watch of the whole show, so like. @sanchoyodraws follow my art blog :)

[ghostietea]

I would love to hear those Akito headcanons! (Also your Akito metas are amazing :D)

Thanks!!! As requested, here's some of the Akito headcanons from my masterdoc:

-Akito slowly and intimidatingly slinks around the estate because she is a powerful and scary God certainly not because she will pass out if she stands up too fast

-at the end of Furuba Akito should have permanently ended things with Shigure and then walked around acting like a 50 year old twice divorced woman even though she's like around 20 and they weren't even formally dating. Ex: Akito, wearing a huge vintage fur coat she found in some closet over slacks and a blouse, taking a sip from a glass filled with a beverage comprised of like one drop of wine and a bunch of cranberry juice: "Just kicked my ex out for the second time. Good riddance, you see-"

-Stole an eyeliner from Kagura one time when she was like 13 and promptly stabbed herself in the eye with it on accident and blamed Kagura.

-Can't even use a microwave. Don't let her cook your kitchen will burn

-When she was a baby Ayame tried to recreate the presentation of Simba with her and dropped her on the floor

-The one time she broke a bone it was because she got pissed off and punched a wall really hard

-Didn't like lit class. Likes reading but hates things like "effort" and "critical thinking." Payed someone else to write the essays she mailed in to school.

-Lesbian but doesn't know what a gay is. Doesn't think anyone suspects anything when she's climbing all over Kureno and Shigure not just because she's generally clingy but because she doesn't know gay people exist. Someone (Hana) has to stage an intervention to inform her that she is gay years in the future after months of everyone having to listen to her talk about how pretty and neat girls are as part of what she thinks is her unlearning being a raging misogynist.

-Demigirl she/they nonbinary but doesn't figure it out for years after she stopped presenting as a man

-Gets anxious about how clumsy Tohru is because of… that incident. One time saw Tohru fall down a flight of stairs and panicked and now she links arms with her anytime they go on stairs.

-Actually sorta likes dressing androgynously when it's her choice. Chronic dressing like a gay person syndrome. 

-Didn't keep her hair long. Cut it off after like a month in a moment of passion with a pair of kitchen shears and then had to reluctantly slink off to have someone make it look presentable.

-Secretly loves plushies but is too embarrassed to buy them for herself. Slowly acquires a hoard postcanon and can bury herself in a pile of them.

-She's very light and can be easily picked up and carried around by any of her friends that want to

-Googled "is hitting people bad?"

-Hana can call Akki over by pspspsps ing at her like a cat and Akki HATES it but still falls for it every time

-Doesn't get anything more than a flip phone and work laptop until postcanon. Generally REALLY sheltered, would get addicted to the first video game she got to play. Probably Animal Crossing.

-Secretly read every book of Warriors as a middleschooler but it became unsecret when she got into a fight with Haru about who could do a better human!Scourge cosplay.

-As an adult Kisa is taller than her.

-Mega lightweight with pretty much everything. Will either LOOSE IT and have an anxious breakdown or space out staring at the wall for 3 hours if she drinks coffee. Would probably be strongly affected by too much sugar. Strictly prohibited from drinking alcohol.

-As a child tried to convince the boys that the zodiac girls all had cooties

-Either can't swim or taught herself in her stupidly large tub.

-Sensory issues, does badly with bright lights, loud/annoying noises, non neutral temperatures, ect.

-Has perpetual cold icicle hands

-Crashes through several rebellious teen phases as an adult trying to find herself postcanon. Bleaches her hair and dyes it some unnatural color in the bathroom, immediately regrets it and dyes it black again. Nobody ever knows.

-One time ate a leaf because she was bored and has -10 impulse control

-Makes other people order for her at restaurants 

-Postcanon she has a pencil box FULL of animal shaped squishies Tohru gave her

-Was one of those kids that got A's without studying (also canonically homeschooled and ik that crowd)

-Starts painting her nails black after she meets Hana. Likes the symbolism 

-Called Hatori her brother by accident once and they both silently agreed to never speak of it

-Rin anonymously mailed her the "I'm sorry women" hat

-Realized she had almost no interests and started ping ponging between hobbies as she tried and then ditched them upon not being immediately amazing at said hobbies. Eventually is given encouragement to keep on trying instead of giving up because she believes she won't be good at it. One of the things she liked was doing stuff with flowers, but she initially ditched it after she killed all the plants she tried to take care of (@ Akki, lying flopped down on a windowsill: Why is everything I touch destroyed… @ her dead flowers: *are dead*). She goes back to it though when she realizes accidentally offing some plants is not a universal statement about her morality and eventually figures it out. Is told to get a personal creative project to work on by her therapist and she sits in the garden and makes a little journal with entries about the flowers and their symbolism complete with illustrations. 

-Connected, has a weirdly large amount of flower symbolism and lore memorised postcanon because of this (@ Tohru: wow a pretty flower! @ Akito: Ah yes, the poppy, did you know it symbolizes death, dreams, an eternal sleep… though is an eternal sleep not as good as death? Are dreams a small taste of what's to come? Also did you know they contain opi-" @ Tohru, confused but likes listening to her friends talking about their interests: 😶)

-Would probably do good with a pet cat for emotional support once she gets over the Sohma biases and can be trusted to take care of an animal.

-The Sohma mansion is always out of hot water because Akito uses it all taking hour long angst baths in the giant tub. 

-Uo+Hana+Akito have a sleepover were Uo and Akito are talking and are just like wow we both sure had a thing for the same dude because of varied ulterior reasons haha that certainly doesn't mean anything and Hana just sits there wanting to bang their stupid heads together like rocks

-Due to general isolation and probable lack of exposure to "memery," I believe that Akito Sohma would fall for the "updog" trap, in this essay I will-

-Akito full on doesn't remember how old she is. Someone's just like "how old r u?" and she's just like (internally) "How long have I endured existing in this wretched world? Hmm" *sweats in the passage of time doesn't seem real when you dissociate in a dark room all day*. Nobody else remembers exactly either. (That's why Shigure put an "I think" on the end of his "he's in his 20's" lol) Hatori can remember if he needs to but that's because he has her medical records. One time one of the younger juuni is like how old is he??? And they talk for 30 minutes and only come up with "has to be close-ish to but older than Yuki and Kagura. Didn't go to school. Was he born or does he just exist??? 

-Akki would be that one person that's always cold and has to be lent sweaters by their friends when they're out. You go into Akki's room postcanon and there's a pile of sweaters on a chair that where SUPPOSED to be washed and returned but just haven't been yet

-If Akito was an animal she'd be a cat... claws, dramatically lounging around all day, climbing all over people, attacking and then being like??? But I want love??? I did nothing wrong??? She's got the vibes.

[thiswasinevitableid]

winter prompt fill 5, indruck, nsfw?

5: your car slid into a snowbank and i’m the mechanic that comes to tow you

Two hours.

Two fucking hours, that’s how far this guy is from town. But because he’s three hours from the one to the west, it’s Duck’s company that got the call from AAA for a tow. On night three of what's forecasted as a week-long snowstorm.  And because it’s that kind of job, the call came in at 4:45 pm. At least he’ll get overtime for this. 

Being out of Kepler means the radio has real stations, half of them playing blocks of pop hits and the other half blaring Christmas carols. Duck doesn’t mind either, settles on listening to crooning about sleigh bells and winter wonderlands as he tries to keep the truck from sliding into snow piles. 

He’s all prepared to be aggravated at whoever was clueless enough to get themselves stranded and stick him with the four hour round-trip, but the closer he gets to his destination the more he sympathizes. Because this is a rural two-lane highway and not a major through-road, the maintenance is spotty at best. Couple that with the still-falling snow and he’s just glad the guy was in the kind of accident where he could still make a call after it.

The last half-hour he’s down to thirty miles an hour, lets out a groan of relief when the dead  taillights of a car reflect back at him. Once he positions the truck and hops out, he rolls his eyes; the sedan doesn’t have snow tires or chains on, something even a person with a Nevada license plate should have known to carry north.

Duck wonders if being unprepared is a habit when the driver steps out in far too light a coat for the weather, shuddering and stuttering out an “Th-thank g-goodness.”

“Guessin you’re Mr. Wilde?” 

Pale hair falls over red glasses as the man nods. With his hood up, he looks owlish, guarded. He’s all limbs and edges, and Duck can’t help but think of a stray cat that needs a warm bed and some food. 

“Go ahead and get up into the passenger seat. Heat ain’t runnin, but it’s sure as heck warmer than out here. I’ll get her hitched up and we can get going.”

Another nod, the man hunching forward as he scurries into the truck. This is the easy part, getting the damaged car hooked to the truck and freeing it from the snow. The hard part comes when they turn towards town, two hours of darkness and icy roads ahead of them. 

“I’m so sorry you had to come all this way. I, ah, did not intend to crash, nor to do so this far from help.”

“Hey, it’s what we’re here for. Gonna be slow goin on the way back, since it’ll be real fuckin embarassin to call a tow truck for a tow truck.”

A snicker, “I picture them as growing exponentially larger, like nesting dolls. A tow truck towing a tow truck towing a tow truck towing a car would be the size of a semi.”

Duck chuckles, “Yeah, it’d be a sight. And a fuckin nightmare for anyone who got behind it.”

The cab is warming nicely, so his passenger pulls back his hood. In the darkness he can tell the pale hair is metallic silver, and there’s a hell of a bruise blooming on his forehead. Duck’s never seen anyone quite like him, and if their survival didn’t depend on his concentration, he’d spend the next hour studying him.

“Damn, got banged up in the crash huh.”

“Yes.” The man gingerly touches the bruise, sighs, “It’s my own fault for being careless.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, nearly spun out on the way to get you from the damn black ice.”

“I wish I could say that was the sole cause, but I was also asleep.”

Duck bites back the urge to scold him; he wants him to be comfortable around him and besides, even if Duck is having a crappy night, this guy is having an even worse one.

“Wouldn’t be the first person who thought they could make it one more town before stoppin for the night and was wrong.”

“True. It’s just that, ah, I’ve been driving three days straight without sleep.”

“Jesus Christ, you on the lamb or somethin?”

In his periphery, he swears the taller man flinches. 

“No. Just having bad luck with a chaser of poor choices.”

“Gotcha.” Duck drums on the wheel, “so, uh, Mr. Wilde, what do you do when you ain’t stuck in the snow?”

“I draw. And Indrid is fine…” he peers awkwardly at Duck’s name tag, “Duck.”

“It’s a nickname.”

“Ah. Are you a mechanic as well as a driver?”

“Yep. Do it part-time when I���m not workin at the national forest. Friend of mine, Ned, runs the garage attached to the Cryptonomica.”

“I recall seeing that when I drove through. Quite the Jacks of all trades, you two,”

“Most of Kepler’s got more’n one job. It’s the kind of place that’s always losin fundin or people, just barely stayin afloat.”

“One sympathizes. Do you like your jobs?”

“Trained in forestry, so it’s always what I’ve wanted to do. The mechanic stuff,” Duck shrugs, “nice workin with my hands and beein able to help folks out. And I ain’t half bad at it.”

“I certainly appreciate your efforts. I--wait, hold on, I’m sorry but I need to…” he turns up the radio, playing what Duck assumed was Santa Baby from the melody.

“He is saying ‘buddy.’ What in the world? Why would you change it?”

“Can’t have the fella in the red velvet suit thinkin you’re gay.” Duck jokes. 

“Heaven forbid.” Indrid smiles, and Duck likes the expression so much he decides to see if he can get him to do it again.

“You wanna hear a slightly inappropriate joke?”

“Absolutely.”

“How come Santa don’t have any kids?”

“How come?”

“Because he only comes once a year and it’s down a chimney.”

There’s a beat and then Indrid guffaws, covering his face with his hands as his whole body shakes with amusement, “that was horrible, do you have any more?”

Thank god he’s got a wealth of bad jokes tucked in his brain. When he exhausts those he and Indrid trade brainteasers, stopping now and then to talk about their lives. The taller man asks Duck about his jobs, about the woods, and the town, and offers a few anecdotes in exchange. Duck senses they’re about they’re set in a time in his life that’s further away than Indrid would like. 

Indrid also readily shares the snacks from his small backpack. Duck eats what he can while still safely piloting the car. Then nearly takes them across the yellow line when Indrid unwraps a Starburst with his tongue, and prays the man will stay in Kepler long enough for Duck to take him to dinner.

-------------------------------------

Given he was expecting a painfully awkward trip at best, Duck’s friendliness is a welcome surprise. Now that they’ve been stuck in the car together for close to two hours, Indrid is confident saying this is most fun he’s had talking to someone in a long time, even before things went all to hell. 

It helps that Duck is the picture you’d get if you googled “Indrid Cold’s type”; sturdy, handsome in an unassuming way, undoubtedly pleasant to cuddle, with muscles that Indrid is positive could hold him up against a wall for at least a few minutes. In another life, one that’s so far away he fears he imagined it, he’d wait until they were done with the business portion of this evening, then slip Duck a card with his name in silver letters and his hotel room number on the back. The man is so genuine in his kindness too, Indrid feeling safer in the dark with him than he’s felt in years.

Which makes him feel even worse about what he’s going to do.

“Not too far now.” Duck turns the windshield wipers up a notch, “thank fuck for that.”

Indrid curls forward, holding his stomach, “I, ah, I really hate to say this, but I’m afraid my gas station lunch is coming back up.”

“Shit, okay, lemme pull over.” Duck guides the truck onto the side of the road, “do what you gotta do.”

His hands are on his lap, keys still dangling from the ignition. Indrid lunges over, grabbing them and trying to shove Duck into the door in one go. The mechanic is too fast, yanking the keys to his chest.

“What the fuck man!?”

“I’m so sorry about this!”

“Then fuckin stop!” Duck kicks, misses, and Indrid knees him in the stomach as gently as he can.

“I can’t, I need the truck.”

“Are you fuckin car-jackin me right now?”

“It’s not personal.” He gets the keys away, only for the world to flip ninety degrees as Duck tackles him backwards.

“It sure feels like it is!”

Indrid hoped that his survival instincts would kick in hard enough to make up for the exhaustion and that coupled with the element of surprise would bring him success. Instead, his limbs have no power behind them, and all he can do is curse when the driver flips him onto his stomach, trapping his hands behind his back and pinning him with his body weight. 

“Fuck.” It’s a pathetic noise for a pathetic man.

“Explain. Now.” Duck growls.

“I, I, you were right when asked if I was on the lamb.”

“....fuckin what?”

“It was a set up, and I finally, finally got free, and, and I will not go back, I can’t, but if I’m out a car I need a replacement and-”

“And you almost stole a truck that’s got a goddamn tracker in it.”

“Oh.” He presses his face to the seat in shame.

“Somethin tells me you ain’t a seasoned crook.”

“I’m not a criminal at all! I have no idea what I’m doing. I was just going to drive and drive until I hit the coast, I hadn’t even decided what to do after. I, I’m sorry, I waited until we got close to town so you wouldn’t be too far away to walk home safely. I, ah, I wasn’t prepared for having to do this to someone I like.”

Duck shifts above him, mutters, “what the fuck do I do now” to himself, and tightens his hold on Indrid’s wrists. 

Indrid whimpers, realizing with horror that his body responded to the mechanics of the fight but not it’s context.

Duck freezes at the noise, and when Indrid hazards a peek the mechanic is staring down in disbelief. 

“Are you fuckin hard from this?”

There’s no use in lying, he’s faced worse humiliation than this, “Some. Not on purpose. I, ah, I enjoy rough treatment.”

Duck’s face fills with bitter amusement, “And I like givin it. But not to fellas who nearly steal my truck. Fuckin figures the first guy to flirt with me is doin it for some other reason.”

“That’s not true, my plan involved no flirting.” Indrid huffs, “I was flirting because I think you’re handsome.”

More pressure on his back as Duck leans down to whisper in his ear, grinding against his ass, “Yeah? Were you hopin I’d fuck you in here? Or over the hood when we got back?”

“Maybe.” He manages a smirk.

“Hopin I’ll fuck you now?”

Indrid nods, but Duck doesn’t notice. The mechanic sits all the way back, releasing his hands, “too damn bad, because unlike you, I only take things with permission.”

“C-consider it granted.” 

The hand finds his back again, but instead of shoving or grabbing it strokes up and down, “Indrid, I’m serious. I ain’t doin anythin if the only reason you’re offerin is because you think I’ll hurt you if you don’t.”

“I’m not. I want this, Duck, I want to be with you.” He’s going back to jail one way or another after this, unwilling to consider the thought of hurting Duck to get the keys. He’d rather go back with one happy memory and a few minutes of fun freshly stored in his mind. 

There’s silence, Duck’s hand still as he thinks. Then it comes down hard on Indrid’s ass, “Okay sugar, happy to oblige you. Besides, seems to me you owe me an apology for that sorry excuse for a car theft.” 

Indrid moans loudly when Duck hauls onto his elbows and knees, though it’s the pet name that hits deeper than any of the much-welcome pain. The waistband of his dollar store sweatpants hits his thighs, there’s a pop of something plastic, and then a slick finger is teasing between his asscheeks. 

“Vaseline. Great for keepin your skin from cracking in the cold.”

The finger disappears and he whines, pushing his ass back and getting it slapped so hard he yelps. 

“Nice try. But this ain’t for you, it’s for me. Don’t got a condom and only got a tiny bit of this left and it ain’t enough to fuck you full on.”

“It’s alright, I like the pain, you could use spit or-”

“Nope” another slap, “that turns into the bad kinda pain real quick. Now open your fuckin legs.”

Indrid does so, gasps happily when Duck slides his lubed-up cock between his thighs. 

“Close ‘em and keep ‘em closed. Good, ohfuckyeah that’s good.” The thrusts are already fast, Ducks hands holding his hips in place, “fuck, tell you what sugar, you may be a shitty crook but you’re a damn good lay.”

“Yes.” Indrid moans, scrabbling for a hold on the upholstery.

“Shit, you do like it rough. Like it when I talk like that?” One hand comes down, petting Indrid’s head and brushing his hair away from where it’s stuck over his eyes. 

“So much, Duck, please, please, more, I want more AHgod!” Tears slip past his glasses as Duck hits the right side of his ass over and over again. He’s been treated like a criminal mastermind, made miserable because of it, so being nothing more than an eager piece of ass is a welcome change.

“Then I oughta tell you this is what you get for tryin to get one over on me. Think you can throw my ass out in the cold? Gonna turn yours so red you won’t be able to sit for a week.”

He’s so hard it isn’t even funny, and beneath the wonderful cycle of pain-relief-pain-relief his mind chants safesafesafesafe.

“Fuck, Indrid, I’m so fuckin lucky you tried that stunt on me, can’t wait to cum all over that cute little ass, ohyeah, fuck, fuckyeah.” He pulls out, cum spurting onto Indrid’s ass and legs and Indrid hears his own voice saying “thank you” as he does. 

As he’s contemplating what form of begging will earn him an orgasm, he’s flipped onto his back, one calloused hand pressing him down by the shoulder while the other jerks him off. He squeaks and squirms, one palm thwacking into the door as his right leg catches the steering wheel. 

“Sensitive, sugar?”

“Yes.”

“Shoulda thought of that before you bent over for me.”

“TechnicallyAH, you, you’re the one who bent me over.”

Duck jerks him extra hard in reply, grinning. The sight of him is just the right balance of menacing and protective that Indrid only needs two more bucks of his hips before he’s cumming. The mechanic works him through it, squeezing him roughly just to hear him whimper (Indrid’s certain of it).

He sits back and starts putting his clothes in order as Indrid lays there, panting from exertion and the weight of reality on his chest. 

“I don’t suppose you have something I can, ah, wipe off with before you take me to the station?” He asks softly.

“I’m not taking you to the police, Indrid.”

“What? Why?” He bolts up, his mind screaming that he shouldn’t ask too many questions lest it make Duck change his mind. 

“I’m not sure what kinda guy fucks someone and then hands them over to the cops, but I’m damn sure I don’t wanna be one.”

“You’d do that without even knowing the full truth?”

“Wouldn’t mind if you told me.” Duck starts the car, adds “seatbelt” as he pulls back onto the road. 

Indrid gets his pants up and buckles in, huddling in on himself, “As you probably guessed, my name isn’t Wilde. It’s Indrid Cold. Wilde was the man I stole that car from, who also had a very nice AAA plan it seems. I am, or was, an architect. Quite talented, if I do say so myself. And many other people said so, once upon a time. My firm got a contract with a certain large city to design and help build a bridge. I was head of design, and I was certain this would be the project that made my name. It did. Just not how I hoped.”

Duck slows down as they reach the edge of Kepler. 

“Have you ever heard of the Silverlake Bridge?”

“Ain’t that the one that collapsed a few years agooh, oh shit was that your bridge?”

“Yes. Halfway through the project, I became concerned that certain elements of the design would not be as stable as they needed to be and might collapse without warning. The higher ups said it would require a larger budget to do the new, far safer design, but gave me the go ahead to finish my proposal of the securer model. They accepted that design, and I thought that was the end of it. Turns out, they funneled the money needed for the better bridge into their own pockets, both my bosses and the representatives from the city. Unbeknownst to me, they built the weaker bridge. When it collapsed I” he takes a deep breath, the memories surfacing in a tidal wave, “I was shocked, and prepared to accept responsibility, as I could not understand how the design failed. It was only when the investigation revealed how it failed that I understood my warnings had been ignored and I was being set up as a fall guy. Not only for the collapse, but for the missing funds, my bosses swearing up one side and down the other that they’d given the money to me to manage. They’d had this planned for months, and so had built our communication in such a way that I had no proof the money hadn’t come to me. Thus I was blamed, tried, and convicted, and in the minds of many I am responsible for the death of 67 people.”

The engine shuts off and he looks up to see them in an auto garage. Duck is turned to him, face so sad and sympathetic that Indrid could almost believe..

“You think I’m telling the truth.”

“I know you are. Not sure how, but even though I ain’t much of a liar myself, I can usually tell when someone is bullshittin me.”

“I don’t want to go back to prison.” 

“You won’t.”

“Duck I, I can’t ask you to hide me, that could put you in danger of arrest.”

“There’s all of four cops in Kepler, and I’d bet my life no one here could pick you out of a line-up as a ‘disgraced architect Indrid Cold.’ And if we need a cover story, Ned’s got a knack for ‘em.”

“We?”

Duck cups his cheek and Indrid leans into it, “You and me. Indrid, I think fate is a load of bullshit, but I can’t shake the feelin me pickin you up tonight was meant to be. Lemme help you, please.”

Indrid sets his hand on Duck’s own, “Okay. Ah, where do I stay? I have fifty dollars left.”

“Could stay with me if you want. No strings attached.”

“Is that your way of letting me down gently?”

“My way of saying you don’t gotta fuck me to have a place to live. If you wanna fuck me just because, say the word and I’ll rail you into next week.”

“I’d like both those things so very much. Though right now all I want is to sleep.”

Duck leans forward, kissing him so chastely that the following lovebite is all the more thrilling.

“In that case, sugar, let’s get you home.”

[stxleslyds]

MY REVIEW OF UNDER THE RED HOOD!

EDIT: This is Tati from the present, Hello! I am writing this little message right now to let you know that I am rebloging this post because I recently re-read it and I wanted to make it “better”, this was my second review that I had ever made and I am quite fond of it but it needed to be brushed up and made easier to read. Now, let me be honest, I am not an excellent writer so there are probably some mistakes here still but I like it even more now, so yeah, that’s all I had to say!

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

This review is here not only because I love that book but because Geoff Johns and Scott Lobdell’s characterization of Jason and Red Hood gives me nightmares and it’s just annoying.

First let me set the scene, here we go!

Jason’s death was confirmed in book three of four in the Death in the Family event back in December, 1988 (Batman #428). But he is officially brought back sixteen years and two months after his death in the iconic Batman: Under the (Red) Hood event (Batman #635-641, #645-650, Annual #25)

This particular event is just wonderful, I love this for many reasons some of which I will probably talk about in this post but it has impacted me so much that if anyone asks me what Batman story I would recommend it would be this one.

Now just a heads up, I always felt impartial to Batman as a hero but around three years ago I started borderline hating the guy and now I just can’t stand him half of the time, and I blame it on his overuse and the god complex that some writers can’t seem to write him without. So, I don’t really recommend UtRH in a good light when talking about the Bat himself. It’s all about my boy, Jason Todd.

UtRH is just amazing at showing these two character’s motivations and how they seem to think that their ways of handling crime are the best way. But it also shows us so many aspects of how Jason’s death impacted both Jason and Bruce.

Let’s start the review!

UtRH starts with a look into the future, a fight between Batman and a mysterious man in a red helmet that seems to not be an easy opponent for the Bat and it also looks like these two have been going at it for a while but just as we arrive we see that it may be over in the Bat’s favor but in that exact moment the red helmeted man unmasks Batman! Seemingly not shocked that Bruce Wayne is the Bat the mysterious man decides that he will show his face too...but all we get to see is Bruce’s face of shock and then.... we are thrown back at what we come to believe is the real beginning of the story.

Probably you can’t tell, but to me this is an amazing start to a story, you have the Bat who is sold as an excellent fighter struggling in a fight but when it seems that he is going to win something major happens... the mysterious man unmasks a legendary hero and doesn’t make a fuss about it and then he manages to shock the Bat by showing his face (which is not shown to the reader), I just think its genius, it sets up this new guy as an incredibly good and interesting character.

So now we find ourselves thrown back 5 weeks in the past and we come in contact with a meeting with some very shady people that don’t really know who put together the whole thing and while they try to rationalize it a round of shots hits the table they are sitting around.

Here is where we see this leather-jacket-wearing dude, holding an AK-47 while posing for the Google earth cameras, telling those people that he reunited them and that he is hot shit. He is there to make a deal; the dramatic queen wants to run the underworld of Gotham and not only is he offering protection against the Black Mask but against the Bat too.

Well, needless to say, those guys aren’t necessarily buying what he is selling so that my friends takes us to an iconic moment, this dude proceeds to throw a duffel bag with the heads of these people’s lieutenants and to finish it off he just shots another round to make the message clear...I mean talk about dramatic entrances!

Please don’t worry I didn’t forget about the most important part of this whole entrance...we were just introduced to this man who means business and wants to rule Gotham’s underworld and manage its drug trade and it’s all very swell but the truly important thing is what he says next:

“You stay away from kids and school yards. NO dealing to children, got it? If you do, you are DEAD.”

That’s a powerful message and this is just me speculating but if he has to make that specification clear...it leads me to think that kids are people that he wants to protect and no matter how much money they could bring to the business he wants them out of the equation, also the price for breaking that rule is death…. So yeah, is he truly a villain or...?

Now after all of this we jump to Black Mask receiving information of a new player in the game and he doesn’t seem like he cares, to him it’s just a newbie trying to mess around on a street level so he moves on with his business of recruiting Mr. Freeze for an undisclosed job. On the other hand, we are shown Batman crying over the fact that Oracle isn’t working with him anymore and then teaming up with Nightwing (that is wearing a knee brace and probably shouldn’t be out doing extreme parkour with his furry dad but hey, what do I know?)

We see Freeze trying on some new clothes and then we are back again with Black Mask, here, for the very first time we hear the new player’s name...Red Hood.

Following Batman and Nightwing we find them intercepting a shipment that appears to have a bunch of gadgets from several villains and among them there was a bomb, it explodes (detonated by the Red Hood) and from then on, the fun begins...the Bat and Nightwing go on pursuit and we get to see what the Bat thinks about Hood. He thinks that he is very well trained, agile and unpredictable, he also has an overall sense of familiarity coming from Hood but he ends up saying that it’s nothing they haven’t seen before, what he doesn’t expect is having been led to a trap which is, Amazo, yay! (Amazo was the cargo that Mask was waiting for).

Amazo is taken down with a little bit of struggle but he eventually is thrown to Gotham harbor and we are informed in another panel by Mask that Amazo wasn’t supposed to be activated so we can safely assume that it was Hood the one who did it. Mask is pissed that the Bat broke his toy and is going to be more pissed off when he answers a call from a certain red helmeted man...

Hood informs Mask that he took one of the crates from the shipment and that it might be one of the most valuable ones, our boy stole a crate with at least one hundred pounds of kryptonite...yeah no big deal.

Here I will make a stop to tell you that we know that this Red Hood is extremely tactical, he has a plan within a plan that takes down several players, he is confident in what he is doing and is certainly not afraid to get his hands dirty. He is a worthy opponent to Black Mask, Nightwing and Batman. We are just starting to know him but he is already great and it only gets better.

As we enter chapter three of the story we see Hood asking for 50 million dollars from Black Bask for the kryptonite that he stole from Black Mask (say that again), to everyone’s surprise Mask “agrees” to give him the money easily... well, not really, Mask is going to send Freeze to kill Hood and get that (quite honestly) unnecessary amount of kryptonite back.

Hood obviously knew that he wasn’t going to get whatever money he negotiated but he also wasn’t quite ready to take on Freeze but he did his best. When Freeze is the last one standing Batman shows up and a kinda lame fight ensues...Freeze leaves and Hood says that he really doesn’t care about the kryptonite, all he wants is the “lay of the land” and then leaves.

If you are wondering where Hood went, well…he went to an abandoned funhouse to terrorize the Joker! Yes people, it’s confirmed, Hood is a good boy! Go get him Hood I am rooting for you!

IT IS CROWBAR TIME! (And this time in reverse)

 In the start of chapter four Hood is blowing up yet another truck full of weapons belonging to Mask.

Elsewhere Batman is bothering Zatanna about one of Ra’s Al Ghoul’s (sealed) Lazarus pits. Asking if the pit can raise the dead and being his natural rude self. Because he doesn’t get the information that he needs and goes to Jason Blood who tells him that if he wants to know about people who came back from the dead he might as well talk to Green Arrow but his chat with him doesn’t lead anywhere so that’s that.

Onyx is introduced to us as a vigilante accepted by the Bat (you know, because of that thing where other vigilantes can only do their thing in Gotham if the Bat lets them because he is the high king or something) and when she comes across some dealers she finds out they work for the Red Hood and given that he is an unknown player she relieves the information to B who acts like an ass because he thought she had seen Hood and that she compromised one of his informants…now here is the thing, why does B act like everyone has mind reading abilities? How on earth would she have known that he had an informant and that the Red Hood wasn’t news to him...I am sorry dude but you are a shitty person of the highest quality  

Anyway, Onyx is actually doing her work watching shady men talk about if they will or not join the Red Hood, one of them says something like “I won’t join that psycho because he decapitated some of my men” (good men, he specified) but Onyx isn’t alone, Hood makes it known by telling her that those men were selling drugs to twelve-year-old’s (remember kids are protected by Hood, you absolutely do not involve them and if you do...well, congrats, you are dead)

At this point we are in chapter six of the story and another character trait is revealed to us from Red Hood, he is meticulous in the way he works. He knows almost everyone involved in the drug trade, what they did and are doing, the relationships they hold with Mask or whoever their boss is. The information he gathers lets him know if the people will stick to his rules and can also use the information he has against them. So, he is extremely dangerous, we have to imagine that if he is that thorough with street level baddies what kind of knowledge does he have on people like Batman...well, spoiler alert, he knows everything and he will use it and has been using it since he first saw him.

 While Onyx and Hood are on their way to take down those men Batman is in Metropolis asking Superman about his death and how he managed to come back to life.

Onyx soon understands what “taking down” truly means when it comes to Hood...they manage to get out of the warehouse just for him to grab a gun and shoot everyone on sight, which doesn’t sit well with Onyx so she tells him that, to which Hood has something to say just before he stabs her:

“Welcome to earth, baby! These dead sacks of meat on the floor made their living by beating, raping and devouring. Fear isn’t the answer.”

And I want to put as much importance into this as I did to the whole “keep kids away from this business” because it’s really important in what’s to come and the way Hood thinks is the better way to battle crime in Gotham.

That sentence alone tells us what kind of people Hood takes down, he plays judge, jury and executioner, he chooses who he kills and who is worth leaving alive if their crimes aren’t the ones that he decided must be paid with death. But it goes beyond that, he brings the fear factor… we know how batman works, he relies in criminals fearing him and the fact that they will be beaten and sent to jail or Arkham (if they are mad enough).

Here is what I believe is the fundamental difference between the fear factor used by those two, on the Bat’s side, the fear is left in the people he attacks but in Hood’s side, the fear is left in those who find the bodies.

After Hood stabs Onyx he decides to stay and chat, he tells her that he stabbed her in the shoulder because he knows it hurts and because (look at this smartass) he saw that she was “favoring one side” so he deduced that she had had an injury and teases her about maybe coming back to crime fighting a bit early...if you don’t think that’s cocky enough he then makes a comment about how the angle of the knife will make it harder for her to pull it out so, there you go, the man is well trained and knows what he is doing.

After that we get another piece of information about Hood and it’s actually given to us and Onyx by Hood himself, he says “I am no one’s son”.

Hood also shows us another character trait of his...he is a little shit. And very good at it. After he stabs Onyx “choice time” comes, basically he gives her two (three) options either he takes out the blade and she runs or he pulls the blade down from her shoulder to her hip and she bleeds out.  He also says that she could maybe join him, which is revealed quite quickly to be a joke and then proceeds to take the blade out and covering the wound with a “high-end field dressing for the modern soldier. It adheres as well as closes the wound with an antibacterial adhesive agent...stops the bleeding cold”.

I wrote the whole thing word for word because I think it’s important for us to see that he saved her life, and he also didn’t let her choose he just did it, let’s think about this, Hood shows up to that meeting not expecting to see Onyx there and instead of losing his cool he just talks to her about the men,  invites her to fight (his way but she didn’t know that) they make their escape and after the men are all killed by Hood she is furious so he, rather violently, completely immobilizes her so he can tell her what’s on his mind and then he gives her choices but here is what I really think...she never had choices because she is not his target, she doesn’t fit among the people that he thinks must be put down, so stabbing her came hand in hand with saving her.

Saving her just to ask her if she will “get up, fight and stop him” because he is still a cocky bastard...but surprise! Batman showed up to the party!

Hood isn’t too shaken up, in fact he uses the opportunity to make a show of his knowledge of the Bat’s thinking and his gadgets...he flatters the fact that he didn’t even hear him land and starts explaining to Onyx how the plane works, it can be stealthy or it can destroy your eardrums, then the chase ensues, B actually makes Hood fall at some point but it really doesn’t bother him, he continues to “flatter” the Bat’s technique, training and gadgets (all to fight the “malignant scum that ravage this city” Hood says) but ultimately tells him that he also has toys (that apparently he intercepted from Kord industries).

The chase turns into a fight in a rooftop, and yes my friends, this is the fight from the beginning of the story, the “you show me your face and I show you mine” fight.

Hood wants Batman to ask himself what has he done, and this I suppose is in reference to what he has done to deserve Hood coming after him. To which the Bat offers nothing but accuses Hood of being a murderer to which he answers with “No. I’ve killed, not murdered”

That confuses me, so first I will tell you what I found about the difference between killing and murdering somebody. A human kills another when it’s without intent or an accident, on the other hand when a human murders another it’s done with intent. About intent I found the following: “A person intends a consequence when they 1) foresee that it will happen if their given series of acts or omissions continue, and 2) desire it to happen.”

I don’t really know if Winick or the editors mixed the concepts of the two or if there is more to it. I honestly cannot wrap my head around it. It really doesn’t fit with what he has been saying, like the no dealing drugs to kids because if they do they will pay with their lives.

Anyway, my confusion is not what matters here, what matters is that we have arrived to the moment in which Red Hood will reveal to Batman his identity yay!

It’s Jason! Jason Todd is back from the grave!

It takes a bit of time for Bruce to come to terms with the reality of things but Jason assures him that he is who he says he is, he even suggests that Bruce has known his identity for a while and that it has been brewing in his head since Clayface.

I know, there are some things that need to be cleared up, the UtRH story is set in issues #635 (February, 2005) to #650 (April, 2006) but in a previous story (Batman: Hush) that ran from issues #608 to #619 “Jason” or better said Clayface disguised as an adult version of Jason had a fight with Batman where some old wounds were opened, this happened in issue #618 (October, 2003).

As far as we know that Jason wasn’t real and that was that, in fact we didn’t get the real events up until Red Hood: The Lost Days, a miniseries that came out in 2010, in the last issue it’s explained to us that by the time of Batman: Hush’s events Jason was already in Gotham and he was giving Hush information to mess with the Bat, and that’s all the information I have right there.

Back again to the story, Batman wants to know how Jason came back to life and he responds that he doesn’t know and doesn’t care, but he does give blood, tissue and fingerprints to Bruce so he can do some tests in the cave to prove that it’s really him, Bruce is once again being difficult saying that it still won’t make him believe but Jason knows better and tells him so.

He also says that it doesn’t matter what he is now, what matters is what Bruce is and what Jason will become. And Jason will become the kind of man Bruce would have been had he killed the Joker.

This whole conversation is very informative; Jason tells Bruce that he knows how to help Gotham because he understands the city more than Bruce. And in order to do that he will kill the Joker and those who deserve to die. This obviously doesn’t sit well with Bruce but Jason doesn’t really care what he thinks so he creates a distraction so he can leave B alone to marinate his thoughts.

It’s here at the end of chapter seven that I am going to cut the first part of the review before too long becomes way too long, so, see you in the second part!

The second part is linked here!

[cosmicclownboy]

 Malex day 7: AU

If there was a concept Michael could blink out of existence it would be blind dates. Not that there aren't other social constructs that he struggles with he just fails to grasp why this is a thing. Can't he be trusted to find someone through his own volition? It's not like either party usually wants to be there anyway? It's a product of peer pressure and it's just so painfully awkward he ends up nursing a beer at a bar by the end of the evening wondering how in the hell he's going to get out of the next one.

The primary issue is the matchmaker in question because in many ways he is in a rock and a hard place. If he even remotely musters up the courage to tell his sister, Isobel no she's going to become hyper fixated on getting him more dates. And that's the last thing he wants. If he just gets through them maybe Isobelle will realise it's a lost cause and just give up. In the past month alone he’s been on three dates all equally terrible. Lisa who worked in finance drank three margarita's and promptly left their dinner on the sidewalk. Doug, a gym trainer who had the personality of a potato. And Susan an astrologist who despite being career goals just didn't fit. It's almost depressing that his brother who set him up with a coroner for a joke somehow wound up getting him a relationship yet his sister who has a better grasp of him then anyone keeps setting him up with these duds.

By month four he's had it. He cannot do it anymore. "Isobel I love you but if you try to set me up on one more date after this I will Jedi frisby your favourite shoes to the moon" Isobelle has never looked more horrified and scared in her life. "You wouldn't dare not the Dolce with the tulle". "I didn't actually know which were your favourite so thanks for the info drop" He nabs a fry and winks at her leaving her with the mental image of destroyed ankle boots. Hopefully, it means she will stop promptly.

According to her logic, he implied he was open to one last date which in turn creates a loophole that she can have one final try. He agrees only because she shoos away a woman he's spent the last hour flirting with. And if he goes on this last one he can finally know some semblance of peace from his sister. When she calls Alex the man of his dreams and uses the word Adonis as a descriptor he's already planning the ways of which he can fling those Dolce shoes. The last man she said would rock his world gave him the worst orgasm of his life and stole ten dollars from his nightstand. He does not want a repeat of that night. To which she enunciates very proudly that she knows him specifically and if he dares to be an asshole she'll shred his cowboy hat. "When have I ever been an asshole on one of your dates Iz" "Ali" She's got him there but he's still offended. "Ali kept sending back her ravioli because it wasn't hot enough.I'm not sorry I didn't want to stay for another course of oh my god my asparagus is touching my salmon Michael my daddy owns a yacht club Michael". He does his best squeaky imitation of her voice that has Isobel shaking her head grinning. "You know I saw her the other day she was spray painting her poodle, Edguirdia bright pink"

Instead of a gaudy restaurant with an obnoxious french name requiring him to google map the address. He's given one not too far from his apartment. Surprisingly it's in the neck of the village he likes that's quiet and reserved. Michael bites back a small smile when he sees the establishment is quite literally called "a Grillhouse".It's rustic. The chairs look a little battered for wear and the kitchen is so close to the tables that the aroma wafts throughout the restaurant. It's peaceful and the smell alone makes him hungry. If Ali ended up here for a date he's pretty sure the place would wind up condemned within the hour. This Alex Manes already has earned points in his book. The menu has food he'd actually eat at a reasonable price and there's a really old jukebox in the corner that he's itching to get a look at. He drops his jacket at the weathered booth in the corner and it's two steps before he's silently reading each song title in his head.

"There are sixty songs on there. I should warn you that fifteen of them are cutesy bops that his girlfriend likes. Who even pairs ACDC and Foo Fighters with the Jonas Brothers?" The voice appearing out of nowhere takes him by surprise so much so that he jams his foot into the corners of the metal. Whatever curse that was going to fall out of his mouth is quickly gone when he turns to see the face to the voice. God, he hopes this man is his date. Dressed in tight black jeans with a marble looking sweater the man is a vision. He stares a little open mouthed for a minute before he remembers he has to speak.

"He must really love his girlfriend"

"Can't say I relate"

He steps in front of him with a coin and Michael quickly moves curiously wondering at what he'll pick. The first bar of Roxeanne by the Police hangs in the air and he's staring at the man in front of him swaying softly eyes closed and smiling. Beautiful. Adonis beautiful?

"Please tell me your Alex?"

Isobel is so forgiven.

"You're a YouTuber?" He tries not to sound offended or judgy but judging by the smirk and raise of his eyebrows Alex immediately sees through his bullshit.Alex rubs his hands on his jeans slowly debating what to say.

"I got in an accident after I left the air force" He knocks his knee revealing a clank. "At first it was to document the journey and so my buddies overseas could feel like they were with me. But then people really got interested in my life and stuff. I do a lot of different stuff. I show people some of my leg fittings. Do videos with my dogs and sometimes I play music"

"You play?"

"Piano and Guitar"

When Michael winds up pressed to his truck an hour later Alex's hands everywhere and anywhere his mind is blank. He's going to combust or come most likely both. And he's perfectly fine with it if Alex's kissing him like he's the instrument that he wants to play non stop. It's dirty and passionate and soft and oh god maybe he is the man of his dreams.The kisses leave him dizzy but he wants more and more. So he maybe has sex with Alex in the back of the truck multiple times over the weeks. And maybe he falls a little bit in love with him. It does not mean he is willing to give Isobel the satisfaction of knowing she found his person. He refuses. So they keep it sort of on the down-low. Alex is fine with this because the internet tends to hold an opinion on every relationship he's ever had and he wants to have moments for them.

The jig is up after four months when Isobel hears Michael say baby off-camera to Alex in one of his videos to his specialist. He gets an earful mainly I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!! He's not even mad at that point he's just relieved he didn't want her to find out after he's moved in with Alex.And if he's honest he's hated not being able to tell her about him. He thinks Alex feels the same because he's been hassled for the past week in texts from all his friends about mystery guy. First, they release a photo of Michael unboxing his stuff with the hashtag #home and they slowly ease him into being in the videos. Michael's quickly come around to realise it was dumb for him to judge especially when he reads some of the comments in the tags about how much a video affects a person's mental health.

The first video he makes his first on-screen debut is Alex doing weird science experiments with Liz and he spots their dog going for the squirrel. Their second dog, of course, spots the squirrel after he's deferred the first dog and long story short the video ends with all three of them bathing the dogs soaked to the brim.

Maybe blind dates aren’t so bad if it’s Alex Manes.

[matrivers]

Texts between me and my friends that you could totally use as incorrect quotes (with credit)

A: I’m prank texting random numbers

B: A! NO! BAD IDEA! Well...I mean do it but like, be careful

———

A: hey, B? what do you get when you’re friends with two lesbians?

B: what?

A: Two gay disasters

B: I know that

A: aw

———

A: *sends google form to the group chat* FILL THIS OUT FOR SCIENCE...and an essay I have to do for school

———

A: NO ONE TALK TO ME B IS MAKING MAC AND CHEESE!

———

A: LMAO trauma sucks

A: Also bro the new ultra gold monster is FIREE

B:...

C: you are THE stereotypical alt girl

———

A: B just came in and asked me about a zombie apocalypse and handed me a bat what do I do???

———

A: Auto correct ducking hates me ☹️

A: Sh*t really auto correct

A: Ducking really

B: HOL UP, A SWEARS???

A: Only a little I learned from C

———

A: GIRL PICK UP

B: *sees they have 11 missed calls from A* A! WHAT THE HELL

A: Hehehehe I could’ve done 100 like I did with my other friend

B: NOOOO

———

A: *sends link to a video called “ASMR for arsonists* Omg you guys know me so well!

———

A: *sends pic of B* on a scale of one to ten how hot are they?

C: 0

D: 0

A: *pulls out handcuffs* I’m sorry you’ve both failed

———

A: *sends an edited photo of B so they are of the opposite gender* gender bent B, thank you for coming to my TED talk

———

*A adds B to the conversation*

A: hi

B: I have your friend A if you ever want to see them again send $1,000 in unmarked bills to the following address

C: AN UNKNOWN NUMBER HAS A!

C: ...wait a minute, this number is familiar...

B: I stole the phone

C: the address doesn’t exist???

*B leaves the conversation*

C: wait who was that?

A: HAHAHA THAT WAS MY SIBLING SKAHAJQH

———

A: GUYS B WON’T ANSWER ME!!! I think they’ve been kidnapped! We must gather all the [thing B is obsessed with] we can find to summon them!

B: ...what the hell? Oh my god, I’m gone for like 15 minutes and you assume I’m kidnapped?

A: yes

———

A: I’m feeling especially gay today

B: ha! Me too to be honest, I mean have you SEEN C?

A: yeah they’re hot

———

A: B is that one friend who we weren’t sure was gay but then eventually it was like...yeah....

———

A: A is ______! Wrong answers only!

B: straight

A: *gasps* NO ANYTHING BUT THAT!

B: A is a hetero lol

[bobbyonboard]

Some Enchanted Evening [Gwilym Lee x Reader]

Summary: One busy Valentine’s Day has you forgetting that it’s the 14th. But your boyfriend didn’t. 

Warnings: cursing? slightly?

Word Count :1.2k

Author’s Note: I can only say I AM SO SORRY to my secret valentine @denimmay​ I know for a FACT i posted this on the 14th, and I don’t know if tumblr ate it or what. I wasn’t getting any notifications, so my anxiety told me everyone hated it, so i didn’t check tumblr for ten days until I got @dtfrogertaylor​‘s message. again, I am SO SO SO SO SO SORRY and please forgiveness the lateness. 

[also thank you to @dtfrogertaylor​ for organizing another wonderful event!!!!]

“Morning, Donna!,” you smiled as you walked into your office building, cup of coffee in one hand and your phone in the other. “Sorry I’m late, I overslept, Gwil was gone by the time I got up. You’re lucky I put on makeup,” you laughed.

“Don’t worry about it, you’re here early most days anyways,” the older woman chuckled, and it was then you noticed the large bouquet of flowers on her desk. 

“Ooooh, John did good today. What’s the special occasion?,” you asked with a wiggle of your eyebrows, leaning over to smell the flowers before you had to head back to your office. 

Donna just rolled her eyes, shaking her head at you. “Ha ha, very funny, Y/N. I bet it’s nothing in comparison to your Valentine’s Day morning. I bet I know why you were late,” she teased. “Tell me, was the bed covered in flowers?”.

“No, that’s not until--,” you froze, looking at the calendar on her desk to see the numbers 1-4 staring back at you. It was Valentine’s Day. It was Valentine’s Day and you fucking forgot. 

It all started to make sense. The way Gwilym let you sleep in, the cute note left for you on the counter that said “See you tonight- xxxxx”. The fresh picked flowers on the table that you thought he must have gotten to “brighten the kitchen”. 

“Oh my god--I have to go,” was all you managed to get out, running off to your office to try and think of something, anything you could do. You were going to make him a nice dinner and buy a new lingerie set to give him a really nice night, but you hadn’t gotten that yet or the ingredients for your meal. Just as you were about to google where to get take out, your boss called you off into a meeting and you didn’t stop again until later that afternoon with the realization that it was far too late to do anything about it now. 

You plopped down in your chair, looking at your phone to see the picture of you and Gwil smiling that was your background photo. He certainly wouldn’t be smiling tonight when you had to admit to him that you didn’t have a single thing for him. 

Just when you were about to close your eyes in frustration, you saw his face fill the screen, and you swallowed thickly before answering. “Hi, baby.”

“Hello, my love. Happy Valentine’s Day,” Gwil hummed into the phone, and it sounded like there was wind in the background.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” you mumbled almost sadly, leaning against the back of your chair. “Gwil, I--”.

“So I was thinking, instead of you taking the tube home, how about I pick you up at work. Say around five-thirty?,” he asked, and you felt your heart break. 

“Yeah, sure, whatever works for you,” you told him with a smile. “I’ll see you then. Love you.”

“Love you!,” he smiled through the phone, hanging up, and you let out a long groan.

Stupid, perfect boyfriend. 

At five-thirty, you made your way out to the front of the building with a sigh, spotting Gwilym already parked out front and waving at you. 

“Hi,” he grinned as he got out, and you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around him and squeeze. 

“The Lee Taxi Service is here. It’s free, but only if you let the driver take you to a surprise location,” he said as he bowed and opened the passenger door for you as you laughed. 

“That sounds like a good way for me to get murdered,” you joked, sitting down. 

Gwil just rolled his eyes fondly, going around to get in the car, turning it on, but not putting it in drive before he stole a quick kiss from you. “How was your day?”.

You told him all about your  non-stop meetings, your conference calls, and the last minute project you were assigned. “How about you?,” you asked. “How did the audition go?”.

“Great!,” he exclaimed, turning left, and it was only then you noticed that he wasn’t taking you home. 

“Where are we going?,” you asked suddenly, trying to notice what was around to see if you’d know where he was taking you. 

“On a picnic,” was all he said, and you raised an eyebrow. 

“Babe, it’s the middle of February. We’re gonna freeze.”

“Would you quit trying to figure everything out,” he laughed, taking your hand as he made a few more turns and eventually pulled into a parking garage. “You wait here,” he told you, heading around to grab a backpack and a picnic basket from the back of the car before he took your hand once more. “Alright, let’s go.”

At this point, you just let yourself be led around by your six-foot-two boyfriend, holding his hand tightly in your own as you eventually came to a set of stairs that led to the planetarium. “Is there a show tonight?,” you asked him, walking up the steps. 

“Not exactly,” he smirked, opening the side door for you marked for “employees”, and at this point, your suspicions began to grow even more. 

“Gwilym!,” a bald man greeted him, extending his hand for Gwil to shake. “We’ve got everything set up for the two of you to enjoy, we’ll let the tech know to start everything up once the two of you get settled,” he told him, smiling at you, and you just returned it with a bit of confusion. 

“Thank you so much, I really owe you,” Gwil said softly, giving your hand a squeeze before taking you through the next set of doors to a lit auditorium with a large space in the middle. 

“Alright, let’s get this set up before they turn off the lights,” he grunted as he leaned down to open the backpack. He placed out a few blankets for you to sit on, along with two pillows. Drinks were produced, along with glasses and plates, before fruit, cheese, meats, and wine were all put in front of you. 

“Oh, Gwilym,” you whispered, looking at him once he finished and put out his hands to go, “Ta-da!”.

“I forgot it was Valentine’s Day,” you blurted out, suddenly feeling like the worst girlfriend on the planet. 

“Oh. That’s okay,” he shrugged, sitting down and helping you sit down next to him. 

“That’s okay?!,” you responded incredulously. “No, Gwil, I forgot. I didn’t do anything special. Nothing,” you added, as if he wasn’t understanding. 

“Love, it’s fine,” he assured you, reaching up to cup your cheek. “You just spent most of the car ride telling me how busy you’ve been lately. Everything is alright,” he said soothingly, and you might have started to believe him. 

“Now lay back, the show is going to start,” he grinned, pouring you both a glass of wine before encouraging you to lean back against his chest. 

Just as you got relaxed, the lights went out, and stars flooded the ceiling above you. You let out a soft sigh of wonder, just as “Love of My Life” began to flood through the speakers, and you turned to grin at your boyfriend.

“It’s a Queen Planetarium show. I couldn’t resist,” he shrugged, and you just laughed softly before leaning up to kiss him. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, beautiful.”

“Happy Valentine's Day, Gwil.”

[all1e23]

Heart & Soul [Pt. 19]

Chapter: Poison In My Blood

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Summary:   Steve and the rest of the unit focus their efforts on finding their missing friends. 

Warnings:  None really. I guess impending doom? 

A/N:   Again Google for the Russian. If it's incorrect please let me know so I can change it. хватит дуться моей любви. Я скоро буду дома - Stop sulking my love. I'll be home soon. 

моя любовь - my love

***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam though! Thanks!*

“What the hell do you mean Y/n and Bucky are in trouble?”

Steve nearly pinched his armed to check that this wasn’t some terrible he was having, he would wake any second and be back home with his mate and Bucky and Y/n would be fine. That would be too easy and Steve’s never been that lucky. He had no idea how Sharon would even know about the case? Or about Y/n for that matter. Unless Bucky shared some of that at his appointment and he can't imagine Bucky talking about Y/n to someone he didn’t have blind trust in, and that was not Sharon. 

More importantly, probably the most important thing he wanted to know, was how the hell she knew they were in trouble.

Sharon held a thumb drive towards Steve, but he made no move to grab it from her hand. The fear and anger running rapidly through him had him paralyzed, he couldn't move even if he wanted to. If Y/n was in trouble that meant Tony was in trouble and Steve was finding it difficult to stay calm from the even slightest implication that his other half was in trouble. Natasha rolled her eyes at their silent standoff and plucked it from the Omega’s hand. She moved over to Bucky’s computer where they could see whatever was on it with some semblance of privacy.

“And what exactly are we looking at Sharon?” Natasha asked, glancing over the top of Bucky’s monitor carefully watching her as she waited for the files to upload.

“It’s the video surveillance from my office. It shows Brock breaking into my office and threatening me from a hidden cam I keep in a plant on top of the bookshelf in my office. There is also a backup of all the files he stole from me. Most are about Bucky. A few on Steve and--“ She hesitated and looked over at Steve. He hasn’t spoken yet but the way his hands were clutched at his side and the tick in his jaw gave off the impression that he wasn’t holding things together all that well. 

“What Sharon?” Steve pressed. “And what Sharon?”

“And some on Tony...”

Natasha pressed a hand to Steve's chest when a snarl slipped from his lips. She ‘ always been good at appearing calm even when she wasn’t. It was a running joke within their unit. No one ever knew exactly what the Alpha thinking, well everyone but Clint. However, the burning red flecks in her eyes were giving her away. Tony may not be her Omega and yes, he often annoyed her and he was way too sarcastic, always at the absolute worst possible times, but he was still family and she protected her family with her life. 

“He did more than steal Tony’s files. He threatened his life.”

“What?!” A growl tore from Steve’s chest and his eyes snapped red.

“I just let my Omega go check on Y/n and you’re telling me Rumlow threatened his life?!” 

Sam grabbed Steve by the arms and held him back, whispering something that seemed to keep the Alpha from completely losing it. For the time being anyway.

Sharon took several steps back from the fuming Alpha. Steve wasn’t usually one snap at an Omega, particularly one that is already upset and scared but when it came to the safety of his Omega, Steve didn’t always think things through. If he feral, well, Sharon didn’t want to see how much darker he became. 

“Y – Yes." She confirmed, holding her head high despite the three Alphas glaring at her. "I didn’t know Tony would be involved at all. I’m sorry Steve… I-“

“Are you sorry Sharon?” 

Natasha walked around Bucky’s desk, her eyes were back to green but somehow, they were making the Omega tremble. 

“Or are you in on all of this too? Did you do all this so you could have Steve all to yourself? Was that the plan from the beginning and you’re just now starting to feel guilty?”

“Jesus.” Sharon breathed her body deflating at the thought. 

“No! Of course not. I would never wish that on anyone and for your information detective Romanoff, I’m not interested in being anyone’s second choice. I know you don’t like me Natasha for…” Her flicked to Steve for a minute who looked a bit uncomfortable with whatever she was about to say. 

“For reasons that aren’t important anymore, but I would never put Tony’s life at risk. I was scared! He said… Just listen to the video. You’ll see I had nothing to do with any of this until he showed up in my office and threatened me.”

Steve walked around the desk to pull up the video, all three Alphas were huddled close by the computer, but Natasha’s eyes didn’t leave Sharon’s. She wasn’t sure they could trust her just yet and she wasn’t going to let her guard down until she was absolutely sure Sharon wasn't a risk to her family.

“Get her to an interrogation room.” Steve snapped at the young Beta officer who happened to be walking by at the wrong moment. 

“She doesn’t leave till I can verify this hasn’t been tampered with.”  

There was a flash of betrayal in Sharon's eyes. She expected that from Natasha but not from Steve. She thought he knew her better than that, but apparently, she didn’t know Steve as well as she thought she did. The officer ushered her along as quickly he could, attempting to avoid more of the captain's wrath.

“Nat? What is going on in here? I was waiting for you outside and--” Clint slowly trailed off as he watched Sharon being escorted off and placed into one of the small conference rooms with an officer standing guard just outside the door. He slowly came around the front desk, pushing past the officer that tried to stop him. Once he caught his mates’ distress there was little that could keep them apart, that included some Beta beat cop. He wrapped his arm around her tiny waist and his nose immediately nuzzled into her neck.

“Tony, Bucky, and Y/n are out of reach at the moment. We think it has to do with her case.” She kissed his temple gently as her arm wrapped his shoulders. 

“I’m going to be working all night. I think dinner is on hold. Why don’t you go home моя любовь?”

“No,” Clint said flatly.

Natasha arched her brow, “No?”

“They are my friends too Tash. I can’t just go home and wait for you to tell me what's going on. I want to help in any way I can.”

“Actually,” Steve looked up from Bucky’s computer and met her icy glare. “I could use his help, Nat.”

“Excuse me? We have two Omegas missing and you want my Omega to get involved? No.”

“Wait… By out of reach you meant missing?” Clint pulled back from Natasha and narrowed his eyes.  “You thought that was best to keep that from me, любить? Just because you’re the Alpha, that doesn’t mean you can keep shit like that from me. ”

Clint.” Natasha growled softly and quickly took a deep breath to calm down. “You know that’s not what I was doing. I didn’t want you to fret over something you can’t do anything about.”

“Because I can't physically do anything to help or because you won’t let me do anything to help?"

"Omega--"

“Could everyone just shut up for ten minutes!” Steve howled, silencing everyone surrounding him.  

“We need to get our heads out of our asses. Brock’s been two steps ahead of us this entire time. With the airport, Pietro, and the crime scene. He knows where we are going to look for before we do. If we want to find them, we need to be smart about our next move.”  

“Uh, what the hell is going on here?” 

Everyone’s head snapped up at the sound of Tony’s voice filling the station. He took a few steps towards the group huddled around Bucky’s computer but quickly stopped, wrinkling his nose at the awful smell. “Good Gods. The amount of Alpha arrogance in the air right now… Can we tone it down a bit?”

Steve barreled through everyone and rushed over cupping Tony’s face in his shaking hands, there was a look of panic, maybe terror on Steve’s face and if Tony didn’t know any better there were tears webbing in his lashes. He’s only seen that look one other time, with Stane and it made Tony’s chest ache at the sight. 

“Are you okay?” Steve asked frantically checking him over, looking for any sign of injury.

“Am I okay?” Tony repeated, confused. “What? Of course, I am okay.” Steve clearly needed the reassurance that he was, in fact, healthy and okay, so he leaned into his mate’s chest and offered his neck up to him letting Steve scent him. 

“I’m fine, Alpha. I’m okay.” He whispered in Steve’s ear.

Steve buried his nose in Tony’s neck, holding on to the Omega tighter and longer than he normally would in front of their friends and colleagues. 

“You’re never going anywhere alone again. I don’t care if it makes you hate me. I can’t go through that ever again. Not after last time,” Steve whispered against his skin and placed a kiss over his mark before finally pulling back, but he didn’t let go. His arm stayed around Tony’s waist, fingers digging into Tony's hips so tightly they were sure to leave a bruise. 

“Buck never came back from that call and then you went to check on Y/n and I--“ He didn’t need to explain the rest, Tony and everyone understood what he was saying. Tony shook his head smiling fondly up at his mate.

“I’m okay. No one was there. No need to call the national guard to come looking for me handsome. I found this tossed on the floor in Bucky’s apartment though.” He held up Y/n’s necklace and Sam was the first to grimace at the sight of the broken chain. 

 “Bucky gave it to Y/n sometime during her heat. I saw her after he gave it to her and there is no way she would take it off. Let alone leave it thrown on the floor the way I found it.” 

Steve eyed the necklace and tucked it back into his Omega’s hand.  “Hold onto that. She’s going to want that back when I bring them both home.”

“What’s the move, Cap?” Sam asked, anxiously. He wanted his partner back, and maybe a bit of guilt was finally starting to rear it’s ugly head because he shared the blame for some of this. 

“Sam and I will head to where Bucky was supposed to take that call. Nat, I want you over to Pierce’s place. Ask him about Rumlow and if they know each other. See if he happens to mention the fact that Brock seems to believe he's his father. Don’t let on to what we already know. Get him talking and take a patrol unit with you.” 

Tony detangled himself from Steve’s rough grasp and walked towards his desk, Steve watching him closely as he did. He wasn’t going to leave Tony’s side for a month when all this over. Tony couldn't complain about that too much. He did like it when Steve got all handsy.

“Nat, let me grab my-“

“No,” Steve commanded, voice firm. There was no room for argument and Tony knew it before he turned around to see the look of determination on Steve's face.

“You’re not going. End of discussion. He already threatened your life and I won’t risk your safety again.”

“Steve--”

“I said no, Omega!" He growled. "You can be pissed at me later. Right now, you’re going to listen to your Alpha and stay put.”  

Tony nodded and dropped down in his desk chair, seemingly obedient and content to be so but Steve knew better. Tony was pissed and Steve would pay for it later, he was okay with that if it meant Tony was around to follow through on whatever punishment he deemed fit. 

“Okay. Come back to me in one piece and don’t let him hurt her…”

Steve started to reach out for Tony but stopped himself and simply nodded knowing he wasn’t going to get any type of goodbye from his mate right now. Tony was angry with him, but he really didn’t mind for once. Steve would sleep on that tiny couch in his studio as long as Tony was safe and sound a few doors down from him. That was all that mattered. He turned on his heels, barking on his way out.

“Nat! Sam! Let’s go.”

Clint tightened his arms around her waist as she began to pull away, “Alpha…” He whimpered so softly only she could hear. “I...” He hated that he wanted to beg her not to go, that he was acting like a stereotypical Omega but he didn't like the sound of any of this. It wasn’t a simple case or some average call, this was life and death for someone because Brock wasn’t going to lay down and let them win. 

“I have to go,моя любовь. I’ll be fine. You know I can’t leave you to your own devices. Go watch after Tony and no scheming.” Natasha kissed the tip of his nose but raised her brow at the look playful look on his face and combed her fingers through his hair to help calm him. 

“I mean it, you and Tony are to stay here and not get involved. I can’t stay focused if I am worried about you keeping you safe, моя любовь."

Clint nodded but he didn’t look very convinced, he tried one last time to keep her by side, sticking his lip out enough that she knew he was pouting. Natasha rolled her eyes despite her grin. 

“хватит дуться моей любви. Я скоро буду дома.” She gave him one soft kiss to his cheek before she started off towards the direction Steve had stormed off in.  

“Nat?”

She turned back to look at Clint and he whispered weakly, “Budapest?”

A small grin graced her face, “Budapest, my love.”

The station quieted as the Alphas and half of the patrol officers on duty left following their captain. It took Clint a few minutes before his brain was able to convince his feet to move. He turned around and found Tony staring at him with an amused expression on his face making Clint's cheek pink. Tony raised his brow at his blushing friend, smirking. 

“Who knew you were so sappy Clint.”

“Shut up, Mr. Whatever-You-Say-My-Gorgeous-Alpha. What are you doing anyway?" Clint grumbled as he plopped down in his mate's chair and rolled up to Tony's desk. It only took a short glance at Tony's computer for him to realize what the Omega was up to. 

“Oooo. You’re in so much trouble. Your Alpha said no scheming and you’re scheming.”

Tony grinned at the childish sing-song tone in Clint’s voice. “You in or you gonna tattle on me?"

“Oh, no." Clint scoffed, grinning widely.  "I’m in. Besides, sometimes the punishment is well worth all the scheming. What are we looking for?”

“Well, Buck took a call out at this location and now I’m comparing Pierce’s properties to this location and we’re going to see what comes up in the area and hope that Brock is there and we are not too late. If we're lucky he will own something nearby or something in his records will give us a hint as to where they could be.”

Clint winced at the search results loaded, not terrible but not great either. “Seven properties? I guess, not so lucky?”

“Wait…” Tony frantically searched through the files on his desk, tossing folders, papers, and pads of paper onto the floor until he found his tablet and started aggressively typing away until he grinned. 

“Got him.” He whispered and jumped up from his chair pulling his phone from his pocket.

“You got your kit with you?”

“No, we can swing by and grab it. Why?” Clint jumped up and chased after the Omega.

“We’re going to meet them there. Y/n or Bucky could be hurt, and we should be there. Not sitting here locked away like some helpless Omega waiting for word from their Alphas."

“Oh, yeah. You’re in so much trouble.” Clint confirmed, grinning widely, and followed behind Tony as he dialed, what Clint assumed was Steve and boy was he was right. Everyone could hear the Alpha’s booming voice coming from the other end of the line.

“Tony? What’s going on?”

“I was looking at Pierce’s properties and-“

“Omega!”

“Listen, you can lecture me on the importance of following orders later. I know you told me to stay out of it, but I am who I am Steve. You knew who I was when you married me. You should be thanking me really. I know where they are.”

“I swear to Gods, Tony. Can you just listen for once? You are in so much trouble – You, you what!?”

“I know where Bucky and Y/n are. Clint and I are on our way there."

---------

The damn kids Bucky had been called to deal with took off running the second his squad car pulled up to the building, he had jumped out of the car and chased after them without thinking twice. The little shits were faster than he expected though and led him to an old warehouse that looked as if it had been closed for years. At this point, he was seriously rethinking having kids. Okay, not entirely true, a little mini Y/n wouldn't be so bad. Gods, he had it so bad he couldn't even focus on the teenagers he was chasing. Bucky eyed the warehouse and sighed as he patted his pockets down for his phone which was of course back in his car. He pulled his radio from his pocket and went to report in his location but stopped as he noticed a black shiny SUV parked off to the side of the abandoned building.

Something was off. The SUV was brand-new and the warehouse looked untouched for the last several decades. There was no way those kids drove that, if they had a car they would have been long gone when ran from him. Of course, it could be a new owner or a couple who couldn't wait till they got home. He's seen that one too many times. There were some things you can't get out of your head once you see them and that was one of them.  He slowly stepped into the warehouse and glanced around what seemed to be an empty building. 

"NYPD." He called out, his booming voice bouncing off the walls. "Just checking in. There was a call about some kids defacing property in the area..." The hair on his arms stood up as he slowly reached for his gun.

“Detective!” A voice boomed from the back corner of what looked to be someone's old office before the building was deserted. A figure slowly stepped forward and the Alpha grinned widely. 

“So good to see you again.”

Bucky frowned as he came into the light and slowly released his grip on his gun once he recognized him. “I know you. You… you were that dick outside the coffee shop. The one that was mouthing off about my Omega.”

“Wrong on two accounts Barnes. Not some random dick and she’s not your Omega.” 

He reached back into the office and pulled Y/n out by her arm. Bucky’s eyes flashed red the moment he saw the Alpha with his hands all over his mate, his Y/n. He was going to rip him apart for touching her. Bucky started to step towards them but Brock put Y/n in front of him, using her as a shield, like the pathetic excuse for an Alpha he was. Bucky stopped in his tracks when he met her eyes and Bucky knew exactly who he was.

He should have thrown the piece of shit through the window when he had a chance.

"It's not nice to play house with an Omega that's promised to someone else Detective." Brock placed a kiss to Y/n's temple and she closed her eyes in disgust. He turned his attention back to Bucky, grinning wickedly as he spoke. "I think it's time we talked about you touching what's mine."

Previous // Next

[yourlocalmusicalprostitute]

Cry to Me Ben Hardy x Reader

Howdy again! I'm here with a gift for the incredible @owensgrxdy ❤ I saw that you enjoy movie soundtracks & since we share that in common I went through some of my favorite movies which landed me on this song! Its from Dirty Dancing and I really suggest you give the song a listen.

Few things before you read: this is a good old fashioned (lover boy) friends to lovers troupe, theres a kissing scene & mention of sex, but I wouldnt say this is 18+. Still read with caution, if that kind of stuff bothers you please dont read **i cant do cuts im on mobile stop judging me**

Doncha feel like cryin'

Doncha feel like cryin'

C'mon baby, (c'mon) cry to me

Had it really been twenty-three days? Twenty-three entire days that your apartment grew colder by the minute.

Google advised you on day eight that it takes three months to get over a major break up, so you began to keep tally on the wall paper of your mind.

For twenty-three days your body only knew work and your couch. A shower weasled its way in there only a few times. You hated to admit that, but you can't step foot in your shower without thinking of every thing that occurred in it. All of the roaming hands, pleased noises, muscles tense then relaxed.

You shifted on your couch. The memories placed a sad pit in your stomach. You'd give up everything just to have him back. Maybe not even him, just the comfort of him, if that were even possible.

A few loud knocks landed on your door. You knew it couldn't be him, but you still held the hope. Quickly, you stood and walked to the door. Just before opening you adjusted your more than oversized shirt and gave your armpits a sniff. You were good to go to open the door.

But you hesitated. If it were who you wanted it to be he would clearly see the mess you were. Frankly it was embarassing. The man walked out one week before Christmas, all things he wanted to keep already packed. He had to have it planned for a while.

You took a step back. There's no way you're answering the door now, your mind talked you out of it. But the knocking happened again. It was freezing out, you couldn't leave him there, so you opened the door.

It was just Ben.

"Oh...hey, what are you doing here?" Ben rarely showed up unannounced.

"You weren't answering any of my calls." Ben let himself in. It was infact freezing. He trudged snow in with him.

"Yeah, sorry. I-I've been busy." That was true. You were busy moping and you could tell Ben knew by the way his eyebrows raised at you.

"Well, I haven't seen you in a month. I brought wine," Ben looked around and saw the bottle you already had open, "but I guess you've had some already."

"It's been twenty-three days actually." You took the bottle of wine and sauntered toward the kitchen. Ben followed and leaned onto the island.

"What?" He asked and you sighed.

"It's been twenty-three days." You informed him again and allowed him to follow you back to the couch.

The television was the brightest thing in your space. You had a few christmas lights up, but many of them weren't lit. You could never figure out how to fix them, but your ex knew. Another reason why you wanted him there with you.

"Well that's much too long. I should've came sooner." Ben brought his feet onto your coffee table. You slapped his knee, he moved them reluctantly.

"It's fine. You were working."

"Yeah, but I never fail to make time for you, and you need a friend right now." You didn't intend to scoff at Ben's words, but you did.

"What I need is a machine to just erase everything in my brain." Ben shook his head at you.

"I'm sorry he hurt you. He's such a dick. Anyone that can walk out on you like that has no idea what they're giving up." Ben always knew what to say.

For the first time in over three weeks you cracked a bit of a smile. You moved closer to Ben and lay your head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you Ben. He left and I...I just felt so alone, which is so stupid because you're my friend, you're always right there. Always one call or text away." You stopped talking to take a breath. Tears were beginning to form along your water line. Sitting there with Ben made you realize you hadn't really allowed yourself to cry.

"I just didn't want to come to you like this, crying." You finished talking and Ben took hold of your hand.

"Please don't ever hesitate again. Cry to me all you need, I'll turn the world upside down to make you feel better." The sincerity in Ben's voice was richer than it had ever been.

You looked up and Ben's eyes were red too. "God, I'm sorry." You let go of Ben's hand to bring your own to his face. Your thumb caught a tear and wiped it away.

When you went to move your hand away, Ben's came up. He held your palm against his cheek. Then, in the swiftest but most gentle motion, Ben moved his head to press a kiss on your palm.

Surprisingly you gasped, but didn't move. Ben kissed your palm again, then your wrist, and traveled further up your arm. "You're beautiful," Ben kissed your upper arm, "you're valid," he then kissed your collarbone, "I love you," you weren't stopping him, he kissed just below your ear, "I'll do anything for you." That's where Ben stopped.

Your breathing had quickened without your knowledge. Ben had never been so intimate with his kisses before. He had kissed your hand or cheek when greeting you, but this felt as if he had been wanting to kiss you that way.

The two inches of air between his mouth and yours grew thicker. "Would you really do anything for me?" Your question was barely audible. It seemed like if you made in sudden movements that your mouth would collide with his.

"Of course. You're my.." Best friend. Ben was going to call you his best friend, but he didn't want to say that. He didn't want that title anymore.

"Best friend." You finished for him and he nodded slowly. Neither of you had moved. "Would we still be best friends if I kissed you?"

Ben raised his eyebrows at you. "I suppose, can't know for sure. I mean we haven't done...it."

His lips are a little thinner than yours so at first it seemed as if your lips were cradling Ben's. As the kiss went on Ben grew more confident, his hand found its way to the nape of your neck which sent your mind spiraling.

Ben used his thumb to rub lovingly on your cheek as you kissed. You don't remember when exactly, but his tongue was now tangled with yours. He felt so amazing. The urge to wrap your legs around him grew more intense as the seconds passed. You were going to, but Ben pulled back.

Fear immediately swam through your body. Ben was searching your eyes for something and you prayed he could see that you wanted this. You wanted him. Even though you felt as if you never knew how badly you wanted him until now.

"You just broke up with him. I can't do this. I don't want you to regret it." Ben felt as he was on fire. He waited ages to get you where you are, but he couldn't move forward if you weren't completely on board.

"God Ben, why didn't I choose you? Am I crazy?" You and Ben laughed for the first time since he arrived.

"Maybe a little, but that's okay." Ben's tongue darted between his teeth as he smiled and you groaned.

"Stop being cute Ben, you're killing me." He laughed more, this time hiding his blushing face between your neck and shoulder.

You were still best friends. Best friends that spent Christmas day having sex, eating, watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas, then more sex.

[grimmjowkurosakidrake]

a modern royalty au for ss? I loved Mutant btw 💗

This was longer than I anticipated and it came a lot later too! I’m sorry! I also don’t know a lot about modern royalty au’s which is shameful for someone who used to read so many Merthur fics back in the day but here it is! 

The Uchiha kingdom doesn’t work in the way the Senju kingdom works. In the Senju kingdom, the men of the royal family are usually more highly regarded than their female counterparts. Be it for blatant misogyny or just a big cultural gap between the two countries. The Uchiha and the Senju have always been different in the way they treat their royalty.

In the Senju they glorified their first king as equal to a god, they regarded their second as a prodigy and just like that they kept on loving their kings, princes and lords. From their martyr warriors like king Minato to their current heroic Lord Naruto Uzumaki. The boy with the sunny smile and kind altruistic nature. 

The future of their country.

Meanwhile, in the Uchiha kingdom it is not kings that the people love, neither are the princes the members of the royal family that the people look up to. Ever since Sasuke can remember, ever since he was a child. Still too young and too naïve to be aware of the nasty, superficial world he was part of. The queen, the princesses and the ladies of the royal family have always been the center of everyone’s attention on his country.

No one cared about his father’s marriage suit when he married his mother in the way they cared about lady Mikoto’s wedding dress, no one cared about his brother’s credentials on the military before he stepped into the throne in the way they cared about Izumi’s masters’ degree in child education.

No one cares about Sasuke Uchiha, next on the way to the throne, in the way they care about the commoner he falls in love with.

Sakura Haruno is not a lady nor is she related to anyone on the royal family. She’s a common girl, daughter of a baker and a taxi driver. A simple, freshly graduated med student who just happens to be Ino Yamanaka’s best friend.

Ino Yamanaka, the girl who just started working as the castle’s florist at the start of the year and without meaning to, introduced the future king of Uchiha to the woman he would eventually fall in love with and then even if just in his own head, would call his queen.

Sasuke meets her one Saturday afternoon as the bright eyed girl runs up to him to ask him about his mother’s private garden.

“Do you know where is the garden?” She asked him that day, looking at him directly on the eyes in a way that Sasuke wasn’t really used to. Already complacent with the detached life the rest of his family taught him to lead ever since the day of his birth until his current twenty-six.

“I’m sorry?” he inquired, blinking and shaking his head in obvious confusion. 

“The garden,” repeated Sakura. Her bright, green eyes curiously looking up at him from underneath her long, thick eyelashes. “The queen’s garden to be exact."

"The queen's garden is private property. Only members of the royal family and the appointed gardener can enter that place alone." Stated the prince automatically. 

"Then you can take me there." She smiled taking his hand in hers. "You're prince Sasuke aren't you?" 

Sasuke didn't respond, too surprised by the girl's forwardness to do anything more than be dragged to his mother's garden by the pink haired stranger. 

Sasuke couldn't keep away from that day on and now, every single newspaper column and every gossip site on the Internet is talking about the pink haired commoner who stole Uchiha Sasuke's heart. 

The bad thing about being part of a monarchy that concentrates completely on the women of the royal family is that the women the people don’t love are usually attacked with the scrutiny of the public. Sakura is not part of the royal family, she’s not traditional nor is she lavish in nature.

And some people hate her for it. They talk about her bright hair and speculate about her natural hair color. Calling her a Yankee for dying it in such a scandalous shade. They talk about her eyes and how she can't possibly be a completely pure Asian woman. As if such a thing really existed anymore, even inside the royal family. 

The worst of them call her a gold digger. Going as far as investigating her family and presenting her economic problems bare to the world: The current state of her student loans, the pending debt from her father's taxi loan, the way she still lives with her parents at twenty-seven and already working full time. 

Sasuke knows this isn't true. Sakura is no gold digger, she hadn't asked him for anything in the entire year they've been together and he can't even recall a time in which she accepted one of his, admittedly, lavish gifts without a single complain. 

“You shouldn’t bother,” she apologized sadly, with a guilty expression marrying her face the first time he gave him a gift. A gorgeous set of ruby and white gold earrings in the form of roses. “I don’t even have my ears pierced.”

“Please don’t expend so much money on me,” she would eventually tell him every time he spent too much money on a gift or a date. “I’m not dating you for your money.” She would say. And then she would kiss him, right on his lips with a playful look on her face “I’m dating you because you’re cute.”

The only time she ever accepted an expensive gift from him was only when Sasuke decided to donate an outrageous amount of money on her child’s mental health initiative at the hospital she was working on for their five month’s anniversary.

She cried right in front of the cameras from the tv channel his brother’s PR group hired just to showcase the future king’s show of altruism. She fell into his arms, kissed him deeply on the lips and whispered a heartfelt “thank you, Sasuke-kun.” For his ears only.

Sasuke fell a little more in love with her that day. He’s never met someone so simple and yet so profound on his life. Never saw a smile more beautiful or eyes more honest. He can easily say that he felt in love with her effortlessly. Saw all of which made the commoner who without contemplation treated him as one would treat a normal human being and couldn’t help but be mesmerised by it.

He just wishes his country could see all that he sees on her. Sakura couldn’t care less about the tv channels who showcase her as an overly emotional and yet raggedy common woman, and she doesn’t even bother to read the tabloids who work every day on trying to expose her as a poor, pitiable gold digger who won’t last even a year on the prince’s heart.

But Sasuke cares. He cares about his country and the woman he intends to make his queen more than anything in the world.

The internet becomes a sudden and unexpected comfort. The first positive comment he finds of Sakura it’s on the YouTube channel of two girls that decided to review the medic’s outfits for her last four public dates with Sasuke.

They talked wonders about Sakura’s natural beauty, on how she didn’t seem to prefer any major brands on herself and how she was such an inspiration for young girls all along their country on defeating classism and unrealistic beauty standards. Sasuke started following their channel after finishing the video that same day and he did the same with any Tumblr, YouTube or google blog that saw Sakura just as he saw her.

The YouTube channel though, that channel will always be special in his eyes.

ShyGirlLoudGirl starring Hinata Hyuuga, a lady from a family barely related to the Uchiha but known enough for her name to be recognised and TenTen a martial arts specialist who became Hinata’s friend by dating her cousin Neji. They were the first members of the media to ever be positive about Sakura and Sasuke never forgot them.

So when his brother asks him to make a couple’s interview with Sakura for the sake of appearances in their actual one-year anniversary, he contacts ShyGirlLoudGirl directly on their twitter account. They respond immediately and even Sakura is a little bit interested on the obvious PR move.

A few days later they sit side by side on a cute, purple love-couch on the girls’ studio, just one big room in Neji’s house that he speared for his girlfriend and beloved cousin. With both Hinata and TenTen siting obviously exited in front of them on their signature white and black computer-desk chairs.

“He-Hello, Haruno-san,” stutters Hinata, the shy girl and after a full minute she amends herself in the face of her prince “A-and Uchiha-sama. too! Of course!”

“Hello, Hinata-chan!” Smiles Sakura in that overly friendly tone of voice she always uses when meting shy or introverted people. “And TenTen-san! How are you both?”

“We are fine!” Cries out TenTen excitedly, already immersed in her LoudGirl persona, “we’re really excited to have you both here!”

“Well,” smiles Sasuke, falling into his charming royalty façade for the media with ease “I’m really happy to be here, I been following your channel ever since you did your first video on Sakura.” This he says it honestly.

“Really?” Asks Sakura herself, surprised. She holds his hand and leans into him in a slightly demure yet enamoured move.

“Of course,” smirks Sasuke, holding her close, embracing her by her shoulders and then kissing the top of her pink hair. He distances himself away from his girlfriend just enough to address their interviewers “I love Sakura, she’s the woman I intend to make my queen. throne or no throne, so it makes me happy to know that you can see her as I see her.”

“Sasuke-kun…” murmurs Sakura, looking at him in awe. He has told her he loves her a handful of times. But he’s never been so public about his feelings for her until now.

“You look really happy,” smiles Hinata, “like you really belong with each other.” Her smile is kind and dazzling, as if the very sigh of love and affection can make her genuinely happy.

Finally finding her voice and her normally strong attitude, Sakura kisses him on the cheek “That’s because we love each other.” She declares, firmly “we are happy because we are together.”

Sasuke kisses her right behind her ear, Hinata and TenTen sigh completely enamoured with their relationship. Sasuke smirks knowingly.

The media will probably never forget about Sakura’s origins, not even when he eventually gives her the lady title just for appearance’s sake.

Maybe they will forever talk about her clothes and her hair and maybe they will never accept the fact that Sakura will never stop being a doctor after marriage.

But Sasuke will never stop loving the bright eyed doctor who demanded entrance into his mother’s garden as if it was her right and he’s sure that his people will eventually understand this as fact and maybe, just maybe. 

They will love Sakura for who she is just as he and these two girls already do.

Because she is his queen already just as she will be their queen sooner or later.

[maiaisbia]

Clizzy and 38!

"Everyone thinks we’re already dating, but we’re just best friends- oh wait"

Thank you so much @heronstairslover! Here are five times Izzy and Clary were mistaken as a couple, and one time they acted on their feelings. I have no idea where this fits in canon, so it is technically canon divergent in a slightly softer, more Valentine free world, with slightly sooner Maryse redemption. from this prompt list | on ao3

| Maia |

Clary leaned against the bar, trying to catch the pretty bartender’s eye. It didn’t take long, and the young woman leaned on the other side, eyes flicking over Clary’s face. Clary couldn’t help a blush at the attention.

“Ah, I was wondering if I could get a cider?” Clary said, and suddenly hoped she wouldn’t be carded. The shadow world seemed to have a different idea of what the legal drinking age was, but there was always the chance-

“Sure thing, we have a pumpkin one for the fall?”

Clary let out the breath she was holding. “That’d be great!”

The bartender walked down to a little fridge, returning to open the cider and pour it carefully into a beer glass. “I’m Maia, by the way,” she said.

“Clary.”

“New recruit?” Maia asked, as she put down a coaster and slid the drink across.

“Something like that,” Clary reached into her purse, setting her wallet on the bar. “How much do I owe you?”

“How about your number-” Maia’s words cut off as Clary felt the familiar weight Izzy’s arm around her shoulders. “Ah.”

“Watcha got there?” Izzy asked, taking the cider and sipping it before making a face. “I hate pumpkin.”

Clary laughed at Izzy’s adorable expression. “Well it’s my drink! Maia was just-”

“Nothing, nothing,” Maia waved a hand as if to clear the air. “I know not to step on someone else’s territory.” She winked, and Clary grew hot.

“Oh Izzy and I-”

“You’re drinks on the house, but only this once,” Maia said, and gave Clary one last wistful smile before turning towards Izzy. “Your usual?”

“Please,” Izzy was still hanging off Clary, and pressed her cheek against Clary’s hair.

Clary was left sipping her cider and wondering if Izzy had realized Maia had mistaken them as a couple. As much as that set cliched butterflies in her stomach, Clary didn’t want to lose Izzy’s friendship so she didn’t want to bring attention to it. If Izzy didn’t want to acknowledge it, then Clary wouldn’t either.

| Simon |

“Clary, Clary!” Simon ran down the Institute hallway, skidding to a stop in front of her. His hands moved all around letting Clary know he was very excited about something.

“Simon, woah,” Clary laughed, and walked to her room. Simon followed after her. “What’s up?”

“I need your help,” Simon said, flopping on her bed as if they just finished a day of highschool and not the reality that they were graduated and now deep in a secret society.

“Okay,” Clary prompted, moving to her desk and picking up one of her little sketchbooks. She always thought better if her hands had something to do.

“I want to ask out this girl,” Simon was hanging upside down off the end of the bed. Before he’d been turned, this would have his glasses falling to the floor. Clary felt a pang for that simpler time.

“And you want my help?” Clary asked, confused, and chewed on the end of her pencil.

“Your advice,” Simon said. “I assume you know how, considering you and Izzy-”

“Wait a moment,” Clary stood up, crossing the room to sit in front of Simon. “Izzy and I aren’t dating.”

“You aren’t?” Simon’s forehead scrunched. Clary poked it, but she guessed he didn’t need to worry about getting wrinkles.

“No,” Clary said, and hoped he didn’t notice her blushing. But this was Simon.

“I thought, well, since you’re always training together and you usually go out together and take your meals together,” Simon said, counting off on his fingers. “And you hold hands and you share clothes and you’ve drawn her all over that sketchbook.”

Clary quickly closed the book. “We’re just friends!” And then she shoulders sagged.

“But you want to date her,” Simon said in a whisper, glancing toward the closed door. He sighed. “Well I see you’re going to be no help with this. But maybe I can help you? Izzy clearly likes you.”

Clary shook her head, “No I’m not her type.”

Simon didn’t look convinced. “How sure are you about that?”

| Lightwood brothers |

“I’ve called this family meeting-” Jace began.

Alec and Max rolled their eyes in the exact same way and Izzy tried to hide a giggle. Jace just glared. They were seated at a far table, just the four of them, tucked away from the other shadowhunters.

“Hey, this is serious,” Jace said, before stuffing a bite of waffle in his face. Izzy snagged some of his bacon and one of his strawberries, because she’d already finished hers.

“I’m listening,” Izzy promised.

“And it required the toll of my bacon?” Jace asked, mouth full.

Alec made a face. Max stole some of Alec’s bacon while looking Izzy dead in the eye. She nodded her approval. Younger siblings’ privilege.

“I don’t have time for this,” Alec muttered, but dug into his eggs, signalling he wasn’t actually going anywhere. “And I’m not forgiving you for calling me in early. Magnus can summon a much better breakfast than this.”

“This is why we need a family meeting!” Jace said, waving his fork around. “We haven’t all talked in what feels like forever. You and Izzy both need to update us on how your relationships are going.”

Izzy frowned, the light, silly atmosphere suddenly awkward to her. “I’m not dating anyone.” All three of her brothers turned to stare at her. She stared back.

“Wait, you’re not dating Clary?” Alec asked.

“What? No,” Izzy said, though she wasn’t offended. Instead she felt a tug in her heart at the idea, but knew it was for nothing.

“That makes no sense,” Max said, shaking his head. “I saw her leaving your room this morning.”

Izzy blushed. “She’d just come in early to borrow a dress.”

“Isn’t it a couple thing to share clothes?” Jace asked, then reached over to tug on the shirt Alec is wearing, that was clearly one of Magnus’; a lovely, slightly shiny, dark green button up. “Exhibit A.”

Izzy frowned, because she didn’t know if she could express how much she longed that Jace was right. She sometimes borrowed Clary’s jackets or sweaters because they would still smell like her. Might as well be honest. “We’re just friends and it’s killing me. God, do you know how hot she is when we spar?” She pushed her plate away and dramatically rested her head on the table. “And she’s so talented with her art!”

“Change in the family meeting agenda,” Jace declared, then lowered his voice. “Operation Clary Fairchild needs to be planned.”

Izzy listened as for the rest of breakfast, her well meaning brothers argued the best way to let Clary know about Izzy’s feelings.

| Luke |

“Hey kiddo, you know you can tell me anything,” Luke said, as he walked with Clary along the river. Neither of them had any real reason to be there, but could excuse it as patrol. Clary was a little sad that this was the best way to see her dad, but they had both been so busy.

“I know,” Clary said, her breath visible in front of her. “And I’m pretty sure I tell you just about everything.” She nudged him with her elbow, smiling up, and keeping her hands deep in her pockets. “I have to keep some teenage secrets though.”

They were silent for a moment, just the sounds of the murky water and their footsteps. Then Luke said, “Can I ask about when you and Miss Isabella Lightwood got together?”

Clary startled. “What?”

“I know you might want to keep your relationship on the downlow, I just want to make sure you’re being safe,” Luke continued as if she hadn’t said anything. “Just because you both-”

“Izzy and I aren’t dating,” Clary said, quickly. “And you don’t need to give me the talk. Again. Google is a thing.”

Luke stopped walking, hand going out to rest on Clary’s arm. “I’m sorry. Did you and Izzy break up?”

“What?” Clary said again, then sighed deeply, remembering her conversation with Simon earlier that week. “We haven’t dated and aren’t currently dating.”

Luke raised both eyebrows and gave her his best unimpressed dad face. “Clary, I don’t know who needs to tell you, but it sure looks like you’re dating. Do you like her?”

“Yes,” Clary started walking again, needing the movement. “And no, I haven’t told her. She’s just… brilliant and gorgeous and strong... I can’t imagine her liking me back the way I like her.”

“You are also those things,” Luke said.

“You’re my dad, you are legally required to think that,” Clary chuckled. “As a cop, you should be familiar with that law.” Chewing her lip and thinking for a moment, she added. “It would be nice to talk about it though.”

“Gush about your crush, I’m all ears,” Luke said, smiling over at her.

“Hi all ears, I’m daughter,” she said and stuck her tongue out as Luke nearly doubled over laughing.

| Maryse |

It is still odd, and sad, to see her mother without her runes. Izzy was tentative about building a better relationship, but she decided she was going to follow Alec’s lead. If Maryse did anything to hurt Alec again, or Jace or Max, Izzy wouldn’t stand for it, but so far she seemed to genuinely want to change.

Izzy’s righteous anger from her childhood was almost snuffed out completely as her mother pulled her into a fierce hug. Maryse pulled back and smiled at Izzy, resting a hand briefly on her cheek. Then her eyes grew a little worried. “Isabelle, have you been sleeping alright?”

Izzy wasn’t going to tell her mother that no, sleep had been hard lately because she was pining after a certain fire-haired shadowhunter. She shook her head. “I’m fine, just been busy.”

Maryse doesn’t look convinced and brought Izzy further into the little bookshop someone had set her up with (Luke? Magnus? Izzy wasn’t sure). Maryse sat them both down in surprisingly comfortable chairs, some coffee and cookies already set out.

Izzy gratefully took a mug and used it to keep her hands still. It was getting cold out, and she forgot to put on the gloves that Clary had gifted her.

“Izzy, I’m worried about you,” Maryse said, hand reaching out to rest on her arm. “Trying to keep your relationship with Clary secret can’t be good for either of you.”

Izzy froze, and wondered if Jace had put their mother up to this. It didn’t seem like something he would do… “Clary and I aren’t dating.”

Maryse looked more worried. “Isabelle, darling you know you can always be honest with me. I haven’t always been the best mother in the past, but I want to make that up.”

Izzy shook her head, huffing a sigh. “No, Mom honestly, Clary and I really aren’t dating.”

Maryse looked confused. “Are you sure?”

“Yes?” Izzy said. “We’ve never talked about my… feelings for her.”

“Well why not? She seems very nice, if a bit reckless,” Maryse moved her hand away.

“I don’t think she likes me the same way I like her,” Izzy said, and almost jumped when Maryse laughed.

“Darling…” Maryse shook her head. “Even I can see that isn’t true.”

| +1 |

Clary rested against the headboard of Izzy’s bed, sketchbook propped in her lap. Izzy’s head was resting on Clary’s shoulder. Izzy knew to be careful and not bump Clary’s arm. The laptop Clary had placed at the end of the bed played the Great British Bake Off. She wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to show what baking could look like to Izzy, and there had already been some science experiments. But it was the most relaxing way to spend a night off from patrols.

“You sure you don’t want to go out tonight?” Clary asked, glancing at Izzy.

“Would you be joining me?” Izzy asked back, looking between her phone and the show. They’d already watched this season.

“No, I want to get some work finished,” Clary said, looking at the comic page she had managed to sketch out. She wasn’t sure the panels were quite right for the story’s pacing though.

“Then nope, I want to to stay right here,” Izzy smiled at her, and Clary wondered if her own expression gave away doomed she was over Izzy.

“Okay,” Clary couldn’t stop her responding smile, and moved a little closer to Izzy. The chatter of the contestants on the show and the scratch of Clary’s pencil were the only sounds for a long moment.

“Something weird happened to me this week,” Izzy said, and Clary could hear the little quiver of nerves in Izzy’s voice. Otherwise it was Izzy’s strong voice, the one she used when directing a patrol on how to corner a demon.

Clary set her notebook aside, turned so that she was facing Izzy. They were probably too close, but Clary couldn’t bring herself to move away. Izzy had put her phone aside, but she was staring at her lap. “What happened?” Clary asked.

“Well… my family… um,” Izzy shifted and sat up straighter. Her hair was in a messy bun and Clary reached to tuck a fallen strand behind Izzy’s ear. Izzy gently took the hand, and moved to hold it in her lap like a lifeline. “There is no easy way to say this.”

“Is everything okay?” Clary asked, trying to think of what horrors Izzy could be this nervous about talking about.

“Ah,” Izzy bit her lip and Clary couldn’t help it has her eyes followed the movement. “They think we’re dating.”

Clary felt like her ears were full of fluff. That couldn’t be… “They think you and I are dating?” Clary had to repeat it to be sure.

Izzy nodded, “Jace brought it up last week, and then when I saw my mom yesterday…”

Clary searched Izzy’s face, trying to gage what the other shadowhunter was feeling. Smiling again at what she saw, Clary said, “Simon and Dad actually both asked me something similar.”

Izzy’s mouth fell open in surprise, but then it turned onto a shy smile. Clary knew that Izzy was very good at seduction skills, but maybe this was different, what they had here in the warmth and safety of this moment.

Clary hardly noticed as they both leaned forward. Kissing Izzy was like coming home, a final puzzle piece sliding into place. When they pulled away, Clary whispered, “You should have told me we were dating.”

“And you should have told me!” Izzy chuckled back, before pulling Clary close and kissing her again. “I have a lot of these to make up for.”

Clary could only hum in agreement as Izzy climbed into her lap and got to work making up for lost time.