#stolen lands shitposts

[stolenlandsshitposts]

Discovered today that this image that has lived on my computer for over a year seemingly never made it to Tumblr. Whoops

[ur-dad-satan]

New introduction

Okay, so I've recently gotten a few new followers so I'm going to reintroduce myself and set a few ground rules about interacting with my account and myself.

About me:

I go by A or Satan on here

I am 19 years old as of early 2024

I am gender fluid and use all pronouns

I am black, queer, afab and proud

I prefer 17+ on my account

My beliefs:

No one is illegal on stolen land

Trans, non-binary, and other GNC people deserve life and happiness

Trans women are women and trans men are men

Asexuals and aromantics are valid

Cutting off toxic people including family is valid

Consent is one of the most important things

My Content:

I will post a lot of Obey Me! content

I will post personal life things that aren't too personal

I will shitpost about anything I want

I will post about wanting a partner and very gay things

I will post cute outfits sometimes

I will post and things with different ratings including: Okay for everyone, suggestive but not explicit, 16+ and 18+ or NSFW

I will not tolerate:

Homophobia/transphobia/biphobia or anything like it

Racism, sexism, misogyny, or ableism

Other hate that is not directed toward a fictional character

Sexualization of underaged characters or any other illegal/gross things like that

Sexualization of a sexuality/group of people who didn't consent to it

Disrespect of any kind

With all of that being said, if you can respect my boundaries and be cool, welcome!! If you can't, then leave. If I make a mistake about anything, like misgendering you or even just getting some information wrong, please tell me. I'm only human and I will make mistakes; I'm open to learning from my mistakes.

So, hi everyone, I'm Your Dad, Satan!

[dontmean2bepoliticalbut]

[universestreasures]

Is this what Setsuna wants Yudias to do to Riku next time he tries to hang out with Towa LMFAO

@senpujin​ @kaizokv 

[levbug]

— 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒: 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

₁. CHAPTER ONE: gratitude

first of all, i would really like to express my gratitude to everyone !!! i’m just a kid who likes writing and i never expected to gain a following anywhere because compared to others, my writing isn’t anything special. despite that, more than a hundred people put their faith in me and believed that i could improve and do better. that, or they just find my shitposting funny :’] jokes aside, i’m really grateful for all the people who have reblogged my stories and wrote cute notes in the tags, or who just reblog them and say nothing, or maybe just leave a like. every time i receive a notification, the amount of joy i feel is just...indescribable. so, to everyone who has once contributed to my happiness: thank you. i hope i made you happy with my writing as well :)

₂. CHAPTER TWO: playing cupid

in which i pretend to be cupid and match you with your haikyuu!! soulmate !!

𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒:

leave an ask ! tell me some fun facts about yourself ! what kind of sweets do you enjoy? do you prefer sweet or savory? what’s your favorite thing about a person? do you notice their eyes first or the way they speak? what are your hobbies? let us get to know you !! (ships are only open for haikyuu!! :<)

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒:

PLEASE refrain from leaving ship requests that center around physical appearance, zodiacs, and mbti’s !!! love is more than just physical attraction !!! (and also i can’t match zodiacs and mbti’s </3) you don’t have to be a follower of mine to participate, just promise that if you do leave a ship ask, you’ll follow me, okay? (that makes me sound so desperate i’m so sorry)

₃. CHAPTER THREE: love letters

this section is a little more personal :’) i’ve expressed my thanks to my followers, so now let me say thank you to my moots and people who just mean a lot to me on this website :’)

firstly, i would like to thank @lovingtobio for being one of the best moots ever??? 

dear lili, i never thought i’d meet my soulmate but ig tumblr’s just great at matching people up :’) i like to believe that, in a past life, you and i were the same person. we share so much in common that the only plausible explanation would be that our souls were stripped from each other and we landed in different bodies, separated by the great big sea. except, you got all the guts and the brains </3 lili, i love you so much that it hurts and i think about you every day, even if sometimes i forget to respond to your messages because i was half-awake in the bathroom when i read it. you mean so much to me and i love you <3

also, to chel @kitazura​ 

dear chel, we’ve never spoken privately before because you’re too cool and that scares me </3 only I can be the cool one around here >:(( jkjk pls don’t hit me with your toothbrush </3 even though we’ve only interacted through asks and tags and all that jazz, you mean a lot to me !!! you make up 1/3 of the three musketeers so obviously i love you and i’d challenge anyone to a sword battle for you !!! everytime you reblog one of my posts i get all giddy becus Omg the coolest kid in town just reblogged something i posted maybe I’M cool now too </3 anyways i love you, i love your aesthetic, i love your music taste, i love your sexy brain, i love your toothbrush, and i love chel. the end.

AND FINALLY, to @juhni027​

may i present to everyone, my husband, johhny, whose identity was unfortunately stolen by johnny suh from nct </3 jk if an nctzen sees that, pls dont come for me, i WILL cry <33 anyways hi johnny ur asleep rn cos u have the sleep schedule of a grandpa but ur MY grandpa and thats why ur the best :DD i hate u with every fiber of my being and if i could, id replace u with changbin and booseoksoon but ig im stuck with u and thats ok. thanks for kidnapping me back in 2nd grade and basically making me ur bitch </3 thanks for reading all my fics and telling me they arent complete garbage and also giving me the will to live and just ?? helping me become me?? it sounds sappy, but without u, i wouldnt be who i am today because we all know how shy i used to be </3 anyways suck my left toe i hope u swallow ur peppa pig toothbrush

and...that just about ends my list LMAO jkjk </3 i have so many moots who are so lovely and wonderful and i just love them all !!! unfortunately i’ve only either had short interactions with them or i’ve never spoken to them at all, but please know that i love and appreciate you as well !!! i just get awkward with new people because i don’t know if i can match their energy, so sorry 🥺👉👈 i love you all tho and i will profess my love for any and all of you if you asked me to !!! i’ll even shout it in the middle of a grocery aisle !!!

₄. CHAPTER FOUR: justice

lastly, please sign this petition and donate if you can !!! it’s a petition to help seek justice for sonya and frank gregorio. if you want to learn more about this case before you sign or donate, please refer to this post. 

all posts related to this event will be tagged under #rissie’s night with the gang !!! this event will be held until december 30th, 2020

[akegatacchi]

Sense8 AU!aftg

In the honor of absolutlynothing I’ve decided to put out there one of the many au I have on my phone and archive it there

Big shout out to @a-m-peengoo and @bluesuederose for participating in this mess with genius lines and always be there to bear my 36 ideas per hour. We did a masterpiece girls.

Here we go it’s gonna be long

The cluster:

Kevin: Nomi. He’s just a fuckin hacker who’s running away from his family (riko). When he’s bored, he spends nights crashing the Pentagon system for fun, and makes every screen in the White House play Best Exy Actions Compilation (the longest and hardest part is choosing one compilation to play).

Dan: Will. One of them have to keep them under control. Plus, Dan with a gun i can’t even-

Matt: Riley. Soft, blue strand of hair, a heart of gold, maternal. As a DJ. Yes. SO SOFT (he still knows how to box)

Allison: Capheus. Listen. Imagine Allison in high heels, skin tight leather pants, driving a bus. Also, a F1 pilot champion who can drive anything (even if it’s the first time)

Andrew: Wolfgang. Duh. Do I need to explain myself. Just think abt him saying “This is Berlin. Those are my people. And we go to our knees for no one”.Boy he does NOT like this situation, at all. Will keep the others out with sheer willpower and no blockers. The cluster’s deadliest weapon. PLUS HELLO???? ANDREW IN A PASTEL PINK BOMBER SHOOTING ON A HELICOPTER WITH A BAZOOKA????

Aaron: Felix? Sorta? not a senseate but a great doctor. Senses bullshit and when someone is in Andrew’s body real quick  (Andrew: says more than 2 sentences and is pleasant. Aaron:.....who’s that bitch where is my brother) . Later helps to manufacture blockers.

Neil: Kala. A pharmacist that uses his skill for arson and may or may not be running away from mafia/family matter and currently hiding in India. Him saying “Bring it, bitch” to Riko is my sexuality and Andrew’s. Can create explosives from a Fanta can and spices I mean it’s already canon in aftg. (plus andreil would work even better bc technically Neil can’t even touch Andrew for real)

Nicky: Lito. The drama, the sass. Also the scene where he discovers the Twinyard in Germany are his cousins would be hilarious. The scene where Lito seduces the nurse but with Nicky (“engaging into heterosexual activity? me????”) or the scene where Lito screams in the museum but with Nicky

Erik as Hernando. That’s it that’s the post.

Renee: Sun. I mean, a korean fighter lady in prison trying to be a better person and had a silent bffs relationship with a german gangster? Come on. Also. Allison in a bus and Renee doing art martials stuff. 

Riko: whispers i guess he can eat Allison’s high heels

Now the ~scenes~ (it’s just shitposting):

Aaron, on the verge on several break downs: wait so you have like … DJ Blue Matt and F1 pilot Allison Reynolds in your head? since when? ANDREW SINCE WHE-

*

Neil: what’s a better use of a multiple thousands dollars education than precise arson?????

*

Aaron: why does your boyfriend always end up burning things up?

Andrew: he lits up my heart as well

Aaron: FOR FUCK SAKE

*

Kevin, shocked and betrayed: is there a better sport than exy?

Aaron and Allison: YEAH A REALLY GOOD CAR RACE

*

Allison: you’re - you’re like the spirit of Lucy Liu. In Charlie’s Angels. I watch it once a day. Renee:.....that’s sweet actually :) 

*

Neil: does a molotov cocktail

Matt: I tHoUgHt yOu wErE a PhArMaCiSt

Neil: Yes? That’s PHYSICS

Matt: no that’s ARSON NEIL

Alternative:

Kevin: breaks into the Pentagon virtually

Neil: breaks into the Pentagon physically

Matt, again: i thought you were a PHARMACIST!!!! Neil: Yes I am??? That’s irrelevant

*

A senseate sibling, escaping, grabbing a vehicle at random: someone knows how to drive that?

Allison, in stilettos : no, but I sure will soon

*

Just Allison driving Renee around to fight people

*

Everytime someone mocks a senseate sibling Neil or Nicky shows up to roast them. Sometimes they do it both at the same time. It’s apocalyptic. The sass. The drama. 

They can also bullshit their way out of any situation. Neil is such a smooth liar and Nicky is just ridiculous. The FBI agent charged to arrest them somehow ends up crying abt childhood trauma while hugging a teddy bear.

Neil, caught in the act of making a string of explosives by the FBI guy: uuuuuuh….Nicky?

Nicky, currently dealing with a white mom in retail: somehow convince the FBI to buy christmas lights

(Yes Nicky works in retail bc his family cut ties with him but he hopes to be an actor.ON BROADWAY)

(From retail to actor to cluster negotiator real quick)

A  fuckin moron to Allison: a hottie like you driving a bus? what is this, hooker on wheels?

Neil: please let me have this one

Allison: seats back and enjoys Neil roasting him

Nicky: brings the popcorn

Nicky, to the FBI guy: You can’t arrest me Daryl I’m your long lost little brother

The FBI guy, a white man: My name is not Daryl Neil: THAT’S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO BELIEVE

The FBI guy, texting Neil (don’t ask): I guess I’m still in love with my ex

Nicky: aaaaaw we have to help this sweetheart

Neil: do you want me to burn his current boyfriend’s car, buddy?

(Nicky: DON’T REMIND HIM THAT HE’S SUPPOSED TO ARREST US)

*

A fuckin homophobe: ready to get your ass kicked, faggot?

Andrew: appears through Nicky

Nicky, smiling: fuck yeah, baby 

*

Andrew, between two bazooka shot, to Neil:  we’re nothing

*

Nicky, through Andrew, all cheery: Hi!!!! :D

(Aaron jumps like a scared cat)

*

Andrew: ready to kill ppl for mafia business

All the senseate siblings in the back minus Renee, eating popcorn and enjoying the show: Kick ass, Drew!

*

Andrew, on the hospital bed: has an emotional moment with Aaron

Aaron: sir or ma'am, idk who you are but it’s family only, I will ask you, as his doctor, to leave my brother’s body

*

Aaron: Andrew is2g if you’re making psychic love to that fuckin red hair rn i will-

*

Andrew each time a senseate is hurt: Aaron it’s for you

(Just Aaron doing med tutorials for a whole cluster while Andrew repeats it with a bored tone to everyone)

(Aaron, sighs: it is Neil again? Just let him bleed for a few minutes)

*

Neil, making bomb with kitchen stuff: If it means losing you then no

Andrew, falling in love: oh

*

Bad guy: You have no weapon, blondie!

Allison, with Renee and Dan behind her: Think again, sweetheart

*

They made a little “honorary cluster member” badge to Aaron (he does not cry STFU NEIL)

*

Dan and Neil both knows by heart the laws of different countries…..for very different reasons.

*

Luther: humiliates Nicky once again

Renee: calmly breaks his hand at dinner while smiling like an angel, all the while stopping Andrew from killing him with the other hand

*

Neil, a pharmacist: blowing shit up and arson

Aaron, a doctor, watching him: yk what hold my beer I know several ways to stop a man’s heart

*

The whole “You don’t know how to use a gun” “No, but you do” with andreil or matt and dan

*

Just Drew and Renee kicking some mafia asses together as buddies

(While Neil blows some shit up in the background and Allison/Nicky cheer)

*

Matt has the perfect ear too

Him and Kevin are the remote operation/communication team but one day all the fighters/criminals of the cluster are busy so they both start to fight as well and fuck they are good at it

Nicky: I expected this from Biceps Matt but Kevin??? You can land a kick like that???

Kevin, outraged: I WENT TO THE EXY OLYMPICS WHEN I WAS 16

*

Speaking of Kevin, they all call him “nerd” or “einstein”

Allison: so the nerd can fight uh

*

Aaron, counting down on his fingers: so you have F1 Pilot Superstar Allison Reynolds, former gold medalist and tech genius Kevin Day, a human diapason, a multilingual arsonist, World no.1 Taekwondo Champion Renee Walker, a cop, an actor…..what are you there for??

Andrew, literally a mafia king:....ice cream and crime?

*

Neil to Andrew, after the whole debacle with his father is out: You did know there were mafia out of Germany too, right?

Andrew: I can’t even have that for myself fuck this family

*

Dan, every time before each “mission”: okay guys I know we need to do it but I’d like to remind ALL of you *looks pointly at Neil and Andrew* it’s STILL illegal and morally dubious

Neil: …….like I said to Nicky, irrelevant *without missing a beat blows up the entire building and puts on stolen Gucci shades*

Alternative:

Neil: ok saint theresa why were you the one to suggest we explode Riko’s brain off then

Dan: ...don’t turn the conversation around me it’s about you

*

Allison “guess we’re detourning a place next” Reynolds and Kevin “It’s not that hard to pilot” Day

(Kevin: But why are you on a plane to Russia? I thought you were in India last time?

Neil:....don’t ask)

*

Aaron to Andrew, where they are trapped and betrayed: your boyfriend wouldn’t happen to know how to poison a whole room with gaz?

Neil: I was born for this moment

(Andrew: just bc you’re my brother doesn’t mean you have the right to dirty talk my boyfriend)

*

Andrew: be gay, do crime and eat ice cream

Nicky: AND BLOW NEIL’S D-

*

(before they know abt Neil’s past, when Andrew is angsty bc he caught feelings)

Andrew: You  shouldn’t get close to me, it’s dangerous, i’m mafia

Neil: oh haven’t you heard-

*

Jeremy, bouncing out of nowhere: Hey Kev ! Love how you BI-nary code ahah have you heard of the ARCHIPELAGO 

*

Neil, sipping tea: so my father is the Butcher

Matt:  okokokok coolcoolcoolcool yk what arson doesn’t sound like a bad idea after all

*

(this one is not funny sorry) but Neil taking over each time someone is hurt bc he is used to deal with it

“Give the pain to me”

*

Andrew and Aaron like to fuck around a lot with the whole sensate stuff (since only one of them is a sensate)

Bad guy: only one of you is a sensate, which one is it?

Twinyard, in a perfect and flat tone: try to guess

A bad guy is spying on Andrew and waiting to kill him in Germany, via a cam, thinking he’s safe BUT SUPRISE MOTHERFUCKER it was aaron dressed as Andrew in a mafia meeting and now you have to deal with a 5 feet tall mafia boy

*

For real tho they are a little protective of the normal doctor who heal them every time (yes even Neil but don’t tell him) so you bet something like that happens one day:

Aaron: comes home from work angry

Andrew, cleaning up blood or counting money: whassup shithead?

Aaron: There’s this older doctor he’s great and all but he’s a fuckin asshole to me he belittles me everyday bc i’m young and we lost a patient today bc he rathers humiliate me than let me save him 

Andrew, a dangerous glint in his eyes and a whole cluster behind him: oh?

Kevin, opens his computer and digs up dirt on him: give me a sec

Allison: I can roll over him with my truck

Neil: there is so many ways to mix two meds and kills him ON ACCIDENT

Dan: let’s see how he deals in prison

Nicky: oh this is going to be fun

Kevin, reciting facts like he’s reading a grocery list: so yeah he smuggles meds from the hospital so local drug dealers, illegally sells meds for himself on the black market, does tax evasion, is friend with a local senator and both of them are involved with minors….i have already several reservation at X hotel btw and cases of work harassment on nurses and interns, threats to others older doctors in serve, and OH. OH. We have a spanking kink on our hands too.

Every members of the cluster, turning to Nicky and Neil:....go wild

Nicky, giggling: not that’s it’s a shame when it’s consensual but not here so - let’s start with the spanking :D

Neil: Can I make him cry

No violence is used but the doctor is found on the floor drowning in his own tears after a few minutes and after an hour he’s resigned and leaving the country

Andrew was dressed as Aaron for that (that being: smuggling Neil and Nicky into the hospital to meet the doctor through him)  and sends him a selfie of a 5 feet surgeon and the man crying on the floor 

It’s their best memory as a family (Aaron hates Neil a little less after that)

Neil to Nicky: why did you stop me from pushing towards suicide??? He’s gonna do that in another country

(Kevin: no if I can help it)

Nicky: bc we don’t do that to people!

Neil, Andrew, Aaron, Allison:...........right

Neil: killing even indirectly is no good but destroying their life and humiliating them publically is good?

Nicky: YES!

Matt and Dan: WAIT NO

(Allison: don’t brother Neil you’ll just hurt your head)

(Neil, close to tears: but...but...but arson?? Andrew, with knives out: alright fuckers who broke his heart?)

*

Matt and Dan bc they’re fuckin weak to Neil: ITS OK BUDDY ARSON IS GOOD

*

I have to end on this note:

Storyline wise, Neil would have make the perfect Wolfgang too….if Wolfgang was a twink.

[joanofarchetype]

A Connecticut Yankee...a kid...that's all well and good but we really don't talk enough about the werewolf in King Arthur's court

This is not a shitpost — in Le Morte D'Arthur, Sir Thomas Malory makes mention of "Sir Marrok, the good knight that was betrayed with his wyf, for she made hym seven yere a wer-wolf". Of course, Malory lifted the tale of the werewolf knight straight outta "Bisclavret," which is one of the Twelve Lais of Marie de France. And it is...wild. There's also "Melion," an anonymous Breton lai which along with "Biclarel" is believed to have evolved from the same source as "Bisclavret". In this post we're gonna refer to the protagonist as the "knight" or the "wolf-knight" and tell a somewhat composite tale.

(A note: this takes place well before commonly established werewolf lore, which crystallized thanks to Universal's The Wolf Man. Curt Siodmak wrote all that stuff about the full moon and silver bullets in 1941 so well that our common imagination accepted it as ancient fact.)

So anyway our guy is a knight who disappears for a couple nights a week and his wife is like ?????? dude ??????? where ??? do you ???? go ??????

And my dude is like "babe I love you but I can't tell you because you won't look at me the same" and she's like "I am your wIFE you better tell me right quick or otherwise have a good nose for almonds in your oatmeal" (jk she doesn't say that because if she did he might've gotten a little foreshadowing of her treachery, but alas, our man was a sucker)

So the knight tells her he's a werewolf, and on the nights he disappears he's wolfing around the countryside and his wife is like !!!!!!!!!! on the inside but makes sure her face is only 🤔 on the outside

(Mind you, Marie de France goes into how the wife is grossed out because she shared her marriage bed with a beast, which has some interesting implications but we'll get to those later)

She starts digging about his transformation until he explains how in order to return to his human shape, he *needs* to put his human clothes back on or else he'll be stuck as a wolf, at which point wifey is 👀👀👀👀

Wifey's like, "but if ur in wolf form, how do u remember where u put ur clothes lol" and the knight's like, "no no, I retain my human mind even in wolf form and besides, I always put them under this one rock outside this cave"

now bear in mind he's never been able to talk about this to anyone so he's pouring his heart out about his deepest secret which he kept even from his wife & I know we're all pretty used to medieval repression but imagine how it must have felt to share this secret at long last 😥

So to recap:

knight: 🤵🏻🛡🐾🌕🐺🤫😅😍♥️💐 wifey: 👰🏼💭🤢🤔👀🧐💡💡👔💍🔪🔪🔪

Our knight is like "yeah so I was born this way and it's just a part of who I am and whew it's kind of a relief to finally be talking about it with someone"

Wifey nods along 🤔🤔🤔 because she's had a💡moment and is 🍳 up a plan...

so the knight has unleashed (pun intended) his secret for the first time in this life and is feeling just dandy, but what he doesn't know is his wife is already plotting his downfall with her...LOVER (dun dun dunnn)

wifey & her secret lover steal the knight's clothes when he's transformed, essentially trapping him in wolf form, get him declared dead in absentia, marry each other & take over his lands

and the royal court goes for this because at this point the whole kingdom knows about the knight's habit of disappearing for days at a time (because medieval nobles are messy gossipy bitches who live for that drama) so they just assume he abandoned her

*~*ONE YEAR LATER*~* (or if you're Malory, *~*SEVEN YEARS LATER*~*)

the king & hunting party corner the wolf-knight in the woods. knight is overwhelmed at the sight of his monarch & runs up to what for all he knows might be his oblivion to kiss king's feet at which point king's like, "THAT'S NO ORDINARY WOLF. HE SHALL JOIN MY COURT IMMEDIATELY."

the wolf-knight goes to live at court where he's basically regarded as a knight (so the takeaway from this part of the lai is that a literal wild animal had a better chance of becoming a knight in ye olden days than a peasant or a woman but I digress)

anyway so there's a celebration at court and who comes to the party but the ex-wifey's new husband, now a baron. understandably, the wolf-knight does NOT react well and attacks him, and the reaction of everyone at court at this near-mauling isn't to say "whoa whoa maybe bringing a wolf to court was a bad idea" but rather "huh, this wolf has never been hostile towards a human before so obviously this guy must've personally wronged him." which is...progressive.

so the new husband/baron/co-conspirator is all "wtf keep it away from me" and the king is like "idk man, what were you wearing? maybe you smelled like royal beef jerky at the time. seems like you were asking for it"

king & the other barons take wolf-knight to the new baron's property. they just need to figure out what's going on because they're not ready to take sir wolf to his final veterinary visit, u feel? they're attached. now get ready for this next part because it's a doozy.

ex-wifey hears about the king's visit so she's waiting with gifts & cakes & shit. the wolf-knight sees her & immediately BITES OFF HER NOSE & he bites it so good her progeny can feel it & henceforth all her descendants are — I SHIT YOU NOT — born noseless. talk about losing face.

under questioning (*cough cough* torture *cough*) the wife admits to her crimes & yields the stolen clothing, which they put in front of the wolf & he just stares at them until they realize "wow yeah sorry dude our bad" and leave the room to give him privacy

when they see the wolf-knight again he's in his human form and in Marie de France's "Bisclavret" it's expressly written that the king embraces him in the bedchamber and gives him "many kisses" (hashtag heterosexual friends doing heterosexual things)

the king restores the wolf-knight's lands and ex-wifey has to live with her ex-baron in exile, forever marked for her betrayal. some real Mark of Cain shit. (obviously this lai has a lot to say about spousal dissatisfaction but that’s another day’s dissertation)

the wolf-knight (Bisclavret, or Melion, or Marrok, or Sir Wolf or whatever you fancy calling him) not only regains his good name, but also the support of a court which now knows his secret dual nature.

something to be hated or feared, only understood and accepted. no one at court shuns him once the secret's out & no one tries to change or "heal" him of his lycanthropy.

remember when I said we'd come back to the wife's reaction? in "Bisclavret" Marie de France specifically states that upon finding out his secret, the wife no longer wishes to "lie beside him." let's unpack that a bit by exploring similar themes across folklore.

the marriage bed serves as a common motif in tales of animal transformation. ex: in "Beauty and the Beast," the protagonist has to overcome her revulsion towards her suitor's ostensible monstrosity before she can accept his marriage proposal. traditionally these stories with mysterious, beastly husbands who are secretly a true catch serve as an allegory for arranged marriage, designed to help young women process their anxieties about being passed from their father's house to that of a strange new husband.

(we should differentiate these tales from those of an ostensibly appropriate groom who turns out to be a monster in disguise such as "Bluebeard," "Mr. Fox," and "The Robber-Bridegroom," as those deserve a detailed thread of their own but also provide good thematic contrast here)

more often the Beast is kind, patient & gives Beauty the time she needs to the detriment of his own freedom from the curse. once the protagonist gets over her anxiety, she ceases to perceive her groom as just a hulking hairy beast and he can take the shape of a prince at last.

circling back to wolves! in most lore both ancient and modern, werewolves represent something uncontrollable; an animalistic second nature which threatens to literally tear through our well-mannered social façade. "Bisclavret" and its various incarnations don't do that.

if you read "Bisclavret" under a queer critical lens, you can interpret the knight as bisexual; a husband has a secret duality to his nature which he is unable to express in their current social order. significantly, he is born with his lycanthropy rather than being afflicted by the sudden, violent means through which most fictional werewolves are afflicted. it's a part of who he is, and it requires no further explanation or cure.

the wolf-knight finds freedom rather than shame in his lycanthropy, and as a result maintains both honor and control while in wolf form. unlike other famous werewolves, he doesn't function as an expression of tension between the id and the superego.

considering how often wolves are used to imply sexual violence (see also: "Little Red Riding Hood" or its medieval predecessor, "The Grandmother's Tale") this would be a fairly positive portrayal of a bisexual man.

however, his wife doesn't see it that way and is repulsed at the thought of sleeping with him again, so she commits adultery and conspires against him. so really, the crimes in "Bisclavret" have a lot to do with sex, just not sexual violence.

the king's attachment to the wolf & the way he embraces the knight can easily be read as homoerotic. there's absolutely an argument to be made about the normalization of homosocial behavior & male kinship across eras but...two things can be true. either interpretation is valid.

so what we have is a werewolf protagonist — not a villain or tortured anti-hero but an honorable man who isn't made to shed his lycanthropy at the end of the tale (tail). rather, he is accepted by his contemporaries and given a place in society to live as he truly is/ROLL CREDITS

[halfusek]

BATIM SPOILERS AHEAD

SECRET MESSAGES FROM CHAPTERS 1 - 5

With a sort of analysis/shitposting on my side? Yea.

Chapter 1

There is like two walls with these, that’s a lot. Is he... aware from the beginning now? I mean someone’s crossing this and Henry is implied to be leaving these messages so...?

Choose your fighter.

Ok wow harsh.  Haven’t you seen all these cool AUs in his house?

Also can I just point out how... Joey... literally... drew... the Studio...

Oh, my bad.

He drew STUDIOS. Because the damn thing keeps happening over and over again.

Oh fuck if that’s the case then that is clever. I made puns about him drawing the studio before, wish I did something with it before Chapter 5 dropped, that would be hilarious to look back at fvdfjkvnfkj

That’s just depressing. But like... yeah...

Wow Henry you must be a proud mom now

Hey remember when DAGames played Chapter 4 and was interrupting Alice Angel’s monologue by telling her to stop watch him poop

It spells “There never was a choice.” (never underlined)

Those messages are either hilarious or straight up depressing.

It’s... kinda sweet how Henry from the past (pasts) helps his future self (selfs). And encourages.

I’m pretty sure she’s got many hearts in her stock.

STOP WATCHING ME POOP

Henry what the fuck

The falling human made out of the two Ls, the Y and the splatters above it-

Fuck.

GASPS NO WAY

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He is not the creator of the cartoons. He is the creator OF THIS WHOLE FUCKING STUDIO AND EVERYONE IN IT. Like it’s maybe a sort of obvious thought but when you let it sink in... damn

Rest of the chapters under the cut because it’s really long

Chapter 2

ARE THOSE IRL BODIES? YES? NO? SYMBOLS OF THEIR SOULS BEING TRAPPED HERE? WHAT???

Do you remember that? Or only slightly? Oh man. “I should have warned him” thoughts and then you get a pissed off boy in Chapter 5.

COME ON NOW

Ok. How. How did you write anything there. When. The only time he’s aware would be right after Sammy hits him with the dustpan. So is he like fainting and writing it? So he wouldn’t be able to write anything else like SAMMY IS GOING TO KNOCK YOU OUT WITH A FUCKING DUST PAN because yeah he’s passing out so it’s just... OUCH! Also to confirm this he is facing the way he’s facing when he’s on the floor. God that’s both shitposty and depressing. Nice.

Henry don’t be a dick

So you do sing 👀

I wonder how Henry figured out walking backwards to not trigger the Demon here and write this specific message. Also is Joey behind those closed doors because there’s the whistling.

Is he cooking

Chapter 3

Oh, hi.

Excuse me what

Henry is a Jacksepticeye fan confirmed

Joey is a man of ideas... and only ideas.

Which is why he created a studio, an OC based on a person he has a one sided crush on (me) from who he stole and claimed their OC as his, also made that stolen OC a thing and then made both of the OCs fight in an infinite loop in the massive studio which is behind his kitchen.

This both has a literal meaning but is also like a deeper general thought Henry do you want Joey to create a therapist OC you seem to have some problems

Why do these coffins hurt so much

Who are you asking Henry because Alice sure won’t fucking read that And why won’t you just write it with regular ink why you gotta do it like this

Why does he keep this thing secret? Did he make it? Probably since he’s the one leaving the messages Hmm

I fucking wheezed.

But also imagine Alice just giving her speech and Henry writing something on the wall with his finger Unless he doesn’t write that in a literal sense but like... spiritually Huh

THEY HAD DRINKS TOGETHER AND JOEY WAS PAYING FOR THEM AWW

He’s so fucking gay I swear to fucking gods.

Let’s hop on the existential crisis train, choo, choo.

How can you be kind to people who try to murder you

But this. This. Is such a good fucking work/life thought like damn. I love this game for those.

But are those just some thoughts Henry wanted to get out of his head or does it have something to do with the game because I’m kinda getting pacifist/neutral/genocide route vibes from this. But it it’s not the case it’s still pretty neat, we do meet them, we just don’t have the choice to treat them in some way most of the times.

It’s on level 14 and damn you game damn you yet again. I guess it can also be applied to that moment when The Projectionist is reaching out for Henry who is hidden in the Miracle Station? Like we don’t know what to expect of him because he had that small moment of realisation of... something. And he is also one of Henry’s “old friends”.

Is Is Ink Demon killing The Projectionist a symbol of Joey’s jealousness like Norman: *reaching out in curiosity, maybe to help* Joey: >:( my fren

Chapter 4

Thanks. Roll credits. So Chapter 4 is intentionally pointless in the terms of Henry trying to save Boris. THAT’S FUCKING SAD STOP IT

NOT. MY. DOG. YOU. BITCH.

So Henry is catching up. Joey does regret all that shit he did. I wonder how exactly does it tie here, with Bertie. Maybe that theory I had about Bendy Land being Hell for Bendy? :0c I don’t really think so but that’s a thought.

I’m losing my shit.

Okay that seems like another woke thought.

Henry can’t change not being able to save Boris.

Joey can’t change all of his mistakes. But Joey is the one making it happen over and over again so it might be slightly pointed at him?

Like, pal. Stop dwelling on your mistakes. Move on. Let me the fuck out.

This game is really heavy with this problem:

Move towards your goal, hope, believe, dream, don’t give up. Well actually do if it’s like super hard.

????? This is such a deep uuhhh analysis of this like one of most basics functions of how we people fucking work and live, what keeps us going. Holy shit I am IN LOVE with that.

But oof yeah Henry was and IS the one good at pushing Joey to do the right thing. Man...

Instead of trying to cheer you up lemme just write this message you can’t read real quick.

THAT WHOLE FUCKING THING WAS POINTLESS AND I’M LOWKEY MAD

;_; holy lord sweet baby jesus

Can Henry like be fine fun concept Meatly please

I suggest giving this a read if you as I weren’t familiar with that expression https://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/09/23/heels/

Of course it’s a pun on “Time heals all wounds” expression. The word “heels” there refers to contemptible people. Earliest citation: 1934 and it got more popular around that time till something around the 50s-60s according to that website at least. Neat.

That is interesting. I guess we can associate the door with Joey as well since Henry warns himself not to go through them? And the Demon drags Projectionist’s corpse through them. Sorta against his will, heeeeeeh.

They look like they could be interactive but I dunno :0c

Oh, yeah. That two-faced motherfucker. That’s my bitch.

HE GAVE THEM FUCKING NAMES

Chapter 5

I feel like it was kinda exaggerated. Henry they like saved your life twice or so, how salty can you be

OKAY LET ME TELL YOU ONE FUCKING THING

AT FIRST WHILE PLAYING I THOUGHT JOEY WROTE THOSE BECAUSE

I mean why the fuck would they drop this star outta nowhere AND HE IS EXTRA LIKE THIS

But then again there’s this “Don’t go through the door”

Unless Joey did contact him through this as well? But I’m assuming it only because of the stars vfnjksd Idk I like when symbols actualy uhhh symbolise something

ALSO YOU KNOW WHAT’S INTERESTING

This is pointing at ANOTHER way. Without the boat. Possibly the Valued Employee (take the long walk) achievement?

I would check it right fucking now but my saves are fucked and I would have to replay everything again and I’m just too tired hhhh

Also Valued Employee does sound like someone who listens to their boss right?

And I’m getting the impression it’s not all Henry’s writing because it seems as if there is a different personality present? Idk

That sounds like sort of both of them. Joey is cheering for Henry, even if he’s planning to make him go through all of this again. Does he... have to make him go through it? That’s a bit odd. Joey nani the fuck.

I like the idea of Joey saying this ok lemme dream vskjvnskjvs

But it could be Henry (past/present/whatever) trying to cheer himself up like he did with the “Don’t be scared” message (if that was also him)

Oh, Henry...

Once people That implies that real people got somehow affected, right?

I love the halo and the bone, also you can see the bone only if you give it to Boris in Chapter 3

Wait It is The whole fucking Ink Machine Is inside Holy

A cooking gay.

Ink Demon/Joey parallel implication. I don’t think he is Bendy in a straight up sense though. He is/was a soulless boss, just how soulless Bendy was/is. I wonder if there is a studio version of him or HHHHHH complicated stuff

Is it like When people create something good but they just don't know when to stop it eventually ends up really bad And the Demon took The End so his cartoon couldn't be finished and it all had to keep going, Joey had to keep going Hm?

So like there is no message on Henry’s second desk

But it does trigger the same dialogue AND IT HURTS

Actually a lot of people missed the arrows so just so you know

But I thought we don’t like doors

Also it’s the last hidden message so I do believe it has a special meaning

CONCLUSION get Henry outta here and give him loads of therapy

Is his fucking last name Stein because he made monsters via the Ink Machine by powering it goddamnit Joey don’t trick people into creating that shit

[kyleisme14]

My trip to Area 51 - unedited

On Facebook, a kid from Bakersfield created an event. He uses his page, perfectly named, shitposting because my life is in shambles and makes 'storm area 51, they can't stop us all' and seemingly overnight a million people said that they would be attending. I did attend. Shitposting because my life is in shambles is inadvertent the most zeitgeist worthy name for this page. Shitposting is when you share terrible content that you know is bad just to get a reaction. You are sharing a low effort joke for the sense of connection from others.  Because my life is in shambles, this anonymous statement of personal vulnerability, I shall try and make a low effort attempt at connection. This is what our age is all about. We are doomed to be as connected and as isolated as possible. This had a chance of being a real life meme where we'd be isolated no longer.

The page became an immediate stronghold for memes. It adopted other internet jokes like Karens asking to see managers, Kyle's drinking monster energy drink for invincibility, and Naruto runners being faster than bullets, as ways of infiltrating the base. And also generated new ones about what people would find inside Area 51 like the 10th doctor to recommend a toothpaste or where my girlfriend wants to go for dinner or how we'd sneak in with a minivan but escape with a space ship. The killer meme was how once we 'free them aliens' we'd keep them as lovers and bang them so hard that we 'clapped them cheeks'. This was the low effort comedy that this meme page generated.

Was it a joke or would people actually go? At first I did not know why I needed to go to area 51, and everybody seemed to ask me. I failed to recruit any friends to join me on the quest, 7 hours driving to the infamous base. Most thought I was crazy for going. My brother told me to be safe. My sister thought I was joking, and called to counter my bluff. Whenever somebody said they couldn't go, I pittied them because I was sure they were going to miss something incredible and life affirming. I was excited because I had no idea what was going to go down, and nobody in the whole world did. I stopped at the army surplus. I thought we'd either see a humanitarian crisis like fyre fest or a government crackdown. Don't forget, 2 million people clicked GOING online, so even if 1% came that'd be 10,000 people to a town with a population of  1000. The airforce released a warning about 'raiding' active military bases being a bad idea and the use of deadly force being a possibility. Lincoln County, one of nevadas sleepiest, had to call in enough police to potentially break up a neo-woodstock.

I always wanted to go to area 51 since I first learned about aliens as a kid. When I asked the big question of are we alone in the universe? If there was an answer, if somebody had the evidence, if it was anywhere, it was stored at area 51.  UFO's and little green men were hiding somewhere in Nevada... at least according to pop mythology. In grade school I would check out the same book over and over from the library, about aliens and the search for exterterestrial life and the scientists who were looking at the stars. There was a spooky section about times aliens might have visited early humans based on cave paintings and statues. And then the next page was all about area 51, where the government did secret expirements on alien artifacts and maybe had a specimen. So I've been captivated since at least then. Area 51 represents a big secret. A mystery! And somebody powerful, a general or established congress person, knows and is keeping the answers from us. So as an anti-establishment, meme and alien lover, I was fascinated with this 'movement,' that would of 'raid the base'. I wanted to go and find out how many people like me were out there! Turns out I wasn't completely alone! But... for the ignorant... What is Area 51? I could never believe people weren't following the biggest BREAKING news of our lives. But for those out of the loop, Area 51 is an infamous hotspot for UFO lovers. It has a rich history in alien folklore. But here is the factual history: Nevada is almost all federal land. and it was used back in the day for nuclear testing. an original tourist attraction to Las Vegas was watching nuclear testing in the distance...

Some airforce commanders were flying around dropping bombs when they spied a dried lakebed next to a mountain, Groom Lake. They landed on it and found it to be a perfectly flat natural runway. Excellent for testing expiremental aircraft. The facility became known as  Area 51. And was where the airforce and Lockheed Corp developed the U-2 stealth bomber. They brought the best and brightest scientists and engineers to develop new aeronautics and weaponry for the US military. At the height of the Cold War, any foreign technology that was aquired would be brought to Area 51 to be tested and backwards-engineered. You can imagine Chinese reactors and Russian jets being taken apart and used by the best tinkerer's and best test pilots. People at the highest levels of classified access. Because if you are one of the folks who are handling stolen foreign items, you are so classified that your spouse isn't supposed to know what you do all day. Yes honey, I was testing out the Ruskies new fighter plane! They don't even know we have it! These were experts in aeronautics and weapons science who could decipher technology even if the instructions were in another language... so perhaps if the US government were to encounter any other 'foreign technology' of an unknown origin, maybe they'd  send it to Area 51 to be backwards engineered? That's the set up, those are the facts, the rest is conjecture and tinfoil hats stuff. Like unexplained phenomena,  military released sightings that definitely aren't weather baloons and general mysticism. Do you believe in aliens or not?

If you believe that it's more likely that our government would keep aliens a secret than releasing that information to the public... welcome to the club! If not, do some reading. As I drove across the desert, down lonesome roads and through one horse towns, I realized what I was doing. I was driving into the middle of nowhere, likely to stand around doing nothing... and boy was I excited. My plan was to go and maybe film something and if that didn't work out I'd put on an alien costume and hold a sign. I figured that there'd be a bunch of cameras and I could use it to collectively protest all sorts of wrongs in the world. One of the initial reacitons to the playful event was, 'hey there are more imporant places to raid! why not raid the border detention centers, why not congress, why not the oil companies?' To which I say, hell yes... but that's not shitposting. That's being earnest and noble. This was about being ironic and part of a joke. This was about chasing an internet meme into the ground and disecting it until all that was left was the human connection. I had a sign and costume and figured that even if nobody showed up at least news organizations would be covering it.  The sign I held said, Peace on earth ain't coming from outer space, and I really believe that. We shouldn't expect peace to come from somewhere else in the universe, it has to start right here at home, inside each of us. I wanted to get that message out. The day of the event, due to classic internet decentralization, people debated whether the raid meet up (located at the Area 51 gate) should be at 3am on friday morning or 3am on saturday morning. Most people kind of agreed to just gather sporadically between those two times. I monitored a live stream late on thursday to confirm that millions of people weren't gathering to make American History. Instead, about 30 people gathered for that 3am moment. I only missed a photo-op. I awoke on friday morning and drove towards my destiny. There were two events scheduled. One hosted by the facebook Shitposting kid who decided to use his 15 minutes of fame to organize a rave in the desert at the local Little Ale'inn, a motel close to the gate. The other was set up by a filmmaker who made a movie about Area 51 at the Alien Research Center. Both locales are alien themed tchotchke paradises designed to sell the eager UFO tourist any manner of t-shirt, shot glass or Alien doll. These spots have a fun feel and would be desert trinket spots selling only desert sage and gems if not for the boon of being next to an infamous mystery base.

The dueling events were both hoping to capitalize on the rush of people to the desert for the raid. Alienstock, as shitpost called it, was going to be a kumbaya style gathering. But everybody thought it was an alibi for shitpost incase anybody got in actual trouble at the gate and roped him in. Shitpost from bakersfield ended up not even going to his own event out of fear. Also the county sued him for the cost of preparing for a potential fiasco. The Alien Research Center event was going to have famous Alien Community folks speak and some high end music performances. But as I drove down the dusty route 375, known as Exterterestrial Highway, I saw very few people on the roads. Lots and lots of cops. It became obvious that the whole county and the organizers of these events had been preparingor at least 30,000 people. They had nearly 200 port-a-potties. Which makes  sense, if 1% of the people who claimed they were coming online came! The reality was that maybe only 1% of 1% showed up to these sleepy nevada towns on the edge of a fabled military base. The imediate reality of the events was that they were extremely underattended, but that was also a blessing. it made everything a little bit more intimate and accessible. I pulled into the dusty parking lot of the Little Ale'inn to find a rag tag DIY music festival set up. People were essentially tailgating on the side of the road. It was a scene and it was dusty. All sorts of folks were jovially milling about, some in alien themed costume, many with cameras. Many folks with booze, despite the morning. I pulled out a camera and tried interviewing people, but found that everybody I talked to had the exact same talking points. Do you believe in aliens? Duh. Why are you here? Free them Aliens. Do you really think they are in the base? Yes, but maybe now they've been moved. What did you think would happen if we charged? We'd all get killed or arrested. Nobody seemed to have really believed in the facebook post's idea of 'they can't stop us all.' Most people were sure that, especially with the meager turn out, the military and police could stop us all. Everybody just wanted to see what would happen, expecting anywhere from fyre festival 2.0 to a bloodbath to nothing. Everybody had listened to the same Joe Rogan podcast, where he'd interviewed Bob Lazar who claims to have worked at the base. That podcast was the bible of this gathering and  was what had inspired Shitpost to shitpost.

It was special that everybody was a believer. That's rare that strangers are all on the same wavelength. Nobody seemed to have any doubts that the government knew about aliens and weren't telling the public. And it was agreed that UFO's had been tested and stored at the base. Everybody I ended up meeting seemed pretty prepared. They had plenty of water and booze and camping supplies, so the idea that a humanitarian crisis was going to occur dissapated completely and reminded me of a group outting to the desert. Most important was that everybody at the event seemed to be in on the joke. They might believe in aliens but had no plans of raiding the base in actuality. Aliens might exist but the might of the US government is way more certain. The police presence alone was insane, but they merely hinted at the military might behind the base's perimeter. The police actually became quite friendly once they realized it wasn't going to be a boodbath. But the silent and hooded guards behind the gate remained terrifying with big guns and big dogs. There was definitely the threat of violence if you crossed. But we all joked that maybe if a million more people showed up we'd actually start Naruto running passed the guards.

After a while of milling around quasi-interviewing people I decided there were enough people with cameras that I should just put on my alien costume and go to the gate and get in front of the camera. I was taken to the gate by some friends I'd made while trying to get interviews. Evan and Kevin were two dudes I became super weirdly close on the day of the Raid. Each of us had come by ourselves from far away, San Francisco, Boston and Los Angeles, with a vague intention of documenting it in some way. I had a vision of either a mini doc or article, Evan was a photographer and who took some insanely beautiful photos (featured here).

Kevin was a video creation guru who just wanted to make as much instagram content as possible. Kevin was by far the most successful, he's got that showman's knack to always get on camera with insanely high energy. There were a lot of cameras and each one he'd run up to and start lecturing about how the governemnt needed to release the secret documents! It was a great bit especially with his Boston Townie accent turned all the way up.

Evan explained how he was drawn to the site by a mysterious desire to see what would happen.  He expressed it best as, 'this is like a reddit safe post.' People will find safes while remodeling or cleaning a house and say, 'hey reddit, look i found a safe, i'm going to open it and see what's inside!' Then people get excited trying to guess what marvelous jackpot could be in that old dusty safe. They wait desperately for the original poster to share an update. More often than not the poster never returns and people are left waiting for nothing.

Once and a while there will be an updated post to show what was found inside and sometime's it's a haul of trinkets and dubloons and rare items that were saved throughout time to be found by some noble internet user. but then most of the time it's like, wow a roll of coins from 1953! "so yeah i felt obligated to go and find out what was in the safe and share it with reddit even if there actually was nothing inside. reddit deserves to know.' evan said. Because sometimes those posts are just as important, the safe find coming back to say, 'hey we cracked the safe, but turns out there was nothing in it! here's a picture of an empty safe."

So I was beginning to realize that I was standing inside an empty safe. But wow, all of these people had also come to be here and that was something special. It's not often that we get to organically be around likeminded strangers that all have such clear and imediate shared experience. Here we all were, because of a a meme, just to see what would happen. The gathering had a magical quality because we were an internet joke that had left the cyber space and entered the meat space. It was a silly idea that was reaching a physical end point.

I stood around the gate for a good while, we chatted with everybody, shook hands with the police guarding the gate, exchanged instagram handles and shared jokes we'd heard on the internet. You could tell people were really cutting loose. Most people spent most of their time on their computers it seemed. Hey, me too. We shouted 'clap them cheeks' and 'let them out.' We were all in on the joke. There were still mainly cameras and I got interviewed and photographed by dozens including history channels ancient aliens and the nytimes and countless youtubers and instagramers. It all kind of culminated when Kevin and Evan were getting cold and saying we should leave, I heard a distant 'clap them cheeks' chant and booty shuffling down the lonesome road to the infamous Area 51 gate was Riley Reid! Pornhub's number 1 star. She's somebody I have searched for all my life, on google. She did a strip tease and pretended to rush the gate. She was an internet hero in the flesh, and she was in on the joke too! A perfect metaphor, eh?

The next morning, hungover from the excitement and extrovertism of the day before I was sitting in a diner scouring news websites for mentions of the raid and looking for photos of myself. Behind me I heard some locals discussing, a gravelly voice said, "usually this town has 1 car every 10 minutes. this weekend we've got like 1 car every minute!" The townsfolk seemed to have had the wildest weekend of their lives. Me too. I managed to get into a few articles in my green alien suit.  A USA Today affiliate newspaper even printed a whole write up about me and my sign. On the way back, realizing I expected nothing, and found little more than nothing, I was completely satisfied. I had held my sign for peace and found a version of it, internet strangers, weirdos from all over had gathered peacefully to celebrate an idea. A silly and anti authoritarian conspiracy idea, but an idea none the less. I decided the reason I was drove all this way through beautiful american desert land, was because it's something I would have thought was cool as an 11 year old. A mission to see aliens and the people who wanted to meet them. Radical.

[stolenlandsshitposts]

Is this anything... I assure you that placements are based on how vividly and directly these lines were spoken into my ear

[puddingcatbeans]

tagged by @fuzzballsheltiepants, thanks!!

Author Name:

bean! or earlgrey_milktea

Fandoms You Write For:

i started with sports anime fandoms, mainly volleymanga and gentle baseball boys (pls watch 00furi). i wrote a bit for bn/ha and do have plans for more! and then i took a left turn and landed myself in both ff/xv hell and af/tg hole. no ragrets.

Where You Post:

here and ao3~

Most Popular Oneshot:

my very first b0kuaka that i wrote based on popular trends in the fandom at the time... not my best but definitely a fun write. 

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story:

i really only have two multi chapter stories and only one is actually being updated right now - the aftg high school au. counting my ficlet collections though, the promptis fluffy drabble collection has the higher kudos/hits count. 

Favorite Story You Wrote:

i’m gonna take this chance to list some personal faves i think are a bit overlooked... on tenderness; a guide to taking better care of yourself [andrew-centric andreil] (and when i go) leave a light on for me [ffxv gen] all our stolen moments (i’d spend forever with you) [matsuhana ficlet collection] the ghosts that call you home [kikuro liminal laundromat au. this one literally haunts me] come morning light (you’ll be alright) [ao no exorcist, okumura rin-centric. this one is a little heavy but very dear to my heart]

Story You Were Nervous to Post:

all my af/tg fics tbh because i was worried i might butcher (haha) the characterisation considering i... uh... never actually finished reading the series. turns out you can speedrun fandom, guys.

How Do You Pick Your Titles:

i think song lyric titles are the worst kept secret in all fic-writing circles, but i’m a poet at heart so, as you can tell from above, i tend to lean heavily towards the long lowercase titles with (parentheses for aesthetics). 

Do You Outline:

i never used to but having taken many creative writing workshop classes in recent years, i try! my notes usually look like shitposts and memes but it helps me keep up the hype for the story. and then i end up completely disregarding my outlines, but you know, the effort is there.

How Many of Your Stories are Complete:

so i realized a while ago that i’m Terrible at planning and plot, which is why 98% of my fics are oneshots or ficlet collections. my current longfic is... headed somewhere, i promise. just not sure where yet.

In-Progress:

aftg high school au!! i’m excited to update bc i realize i left it at a point where we’re waiting for Things to Happen. and things! will! happen!!

Coming Soon:

currently i’m just rushing to finish up a fic for a pr0mptis doujin anthology i got invited to, and then i’m participating in the aftg remix event, and then i have short stories to finish for class. then i’ll update high school au... Soon. i’m also hoping to finish some bn/ha fics i have on the back burner, kind of a series exploring more qp relationships and acespec identity.

Do You Accept Prompts:

yes! i occasionally reblog prompt lists here for exercise, but my inbox is always open. i just can’t guarantee the promptness of the actual post, aha. i love to talk headcanons anytime, though. that’s where all fic is born, really.

Upcoming Story You’re the Most Excited For:

high school au!!!!!!! but i’m really hoping to get started with the bn/ha fics, and i also have another rin-centric fic focused on food that i hope will break hearts and mend them, too :D

Tag Five Fanfic Authors to Answer These Questions

@taizi @mathclasswarfare @ninemelodies if u want to! ummm i’m so tired i can’t remember who else is a writer but pls do if ur interested to share and pls tag me so i can Read!!

[hugs-from-the-universe]

Intro thingy

Stolen from @cardinalcopiia

nickname: I don't really have a nickname lol just call me whatever you want

gender: am gorl

astrological sign: picses all the waaaayyyyy

height: literally 5'0 I am the shortest person lmaoooo😂

sexuality: I'm bishreksual 💁🏻‍♀️

hogwarts house: Hufflepuff babeyyyyyy

favourite animal: every animal lmao, but if I had to choose then, horses. Because like, have you seen them??? Just big doggos! Kissing their lil snoots? Spiritually healing. Feeding them apples and carrots? They're so freaking gentle! One time, when I was at my grandma's farm, I was petting one of the horse's snoots and I stopped and it mcfreaking nudged my face with it's snoot to get me to pet it some more!!!!😭😭 They are just big doggos and I love them with all my heart!!💖💖💖💖💖

average hours of sleep: like 1-2 hours lmfaooo I never sleep, catch me staring at my ceiling at 2am listening to some Neck Deep😂😂

number of blankets: 5 thick ass, fuzzy ass blankets + 3 throw blankets because I am C O L D

where i’m from: Ya binch from the land of hockey and beavertails👈🏻👈🏻😎 Canada babay

dream trip: Germany!!! I'd love to go to Germany! Or like the Netherlands! Because my ancestors are from both places, it would be hecking neat. Also they're just super pretty countries!

when i created this account: idk man, I can't remember 😂😂 but like it hasn't been around for long

why i created this account: so I could reblog aesthetics and shitposts without being judged by my friends irl😂😂

In conclusion, I am v boring and that's about it

[jonphaedrus]

i just want to go ahead and say that when people who fall into deeply marginalized categories talk about their genuine fears of living in this current world, talking about what to do/where to go/how to live, they arent #relatable #mood #tfw posts. they aren’t for people who are upset because policies are bad and violence is on the upswing.

these are posts that come from spaces of genuine fear.

if a black person talks about how they’re terrified to do things that could be turned into “breaking the law” and you aren’t black, this isn’t for you.

if an indigenous person talks about how they’re afraid of what rights, land, or culture will be stolen from them next and you aren’t indigenous, this isn’t for you.

if a disabled person talks about how they’re terrified about the way that internationally accessible healthcare is being shut down because its too expensive and those poverty-disease-ridden-sponges are sucking it away and you aren’t disabled—even if you don’t have a job! and don’t have guaranteed healthcare!—this isn’t for you.

if an LGBT+ person talks about public violence and the potential to be sterilized, forcibly disfigured, having their marriages annulled, losing spousal rights or parental rights, or attacked for existing in public spaces and you arent LGBT+, this isn’t for you.

if a sex worker talks about censorship and the international movement to destroy their abilities to work in safe environments, make money online, the or protect their autonomous rights, and you aren’t a sex worker, this isn’t for you.

if a person who comes from a population (jewish and roma especially) that was a target of the nazi regime talks about their terror of repeating the horrors of the shoah (the holocaust) and their lack of agency or existence in the world where there isn’t and has never been a place for them and you aren’t from a group that has actively survived that, yes even if you are gay if you don’t have relatives who were affected by it and the cultural memory, this isn’t for you. 

if someone from any population in the entire world who has been affected by genocide talks about their fears of history repeating itself and you aren’t from those populations, this isn’t for you.

if an immigrant talks about their fears of being deported no matter their immigrant status and you aren’t an immigrant, this isn’t for you.

if someone talks about the way that settler colonialism and international american-mandated democratic violence has destabilized their country, invalidated their existence, murdered their people, and forced them into exile and you don’t come from that population, this isn’t for you.

if anyone, from any disenfranchized group, from any minority, talks about issues that affect them as that minority and you share similar fears but you do not face the same cultural, systemic, and political violence, that is not fucking for you.

you can support us. you can reblog and retweet us. you can use your fucking votes, your voices, your power, your protest, your bodies and your minds to support us. you can agree that the world is changing in negative and terrifying ways. you can sympathize with the way that we fear these things. you can talk about your own fears, for your own intersectional identities, you can admit that you don’t fall into those categories and you’re scared so how scared are they? but these posts? they are not social media jokesting. they aren’t for notes. they’re not to spitball and shitpost and fill the air.

we are scared.

they have come for us before.

they will come for us again. say it with me. they. will. come. for. us. again.

our fears from our intersectional, generational, cultural, genetic, ethnic, religious, lived memory are ours. you can share them. you can want to join us. but you cannot just agree like you feel the same way.

[arbitrarygreay]

hot take

actually I don't really get the Uchouten Love hype it doesn't really have the elements I talk about in the last post, any technical difficulty to balance against the cutesy I mean, yes, Tsunku wahoos forever, but that's stolen from Honey Pie anyways so (Non-shitposting: S/mileage is actually a perfect further demonstration of the things I talked about in the last post. Especially 4nin was already inherently at a very high level of cute, so saddling them with EVEN MORE cutesy and high-energy songs took them over into saccharine territory. I will never stop stanning for Asu Wa Date, where they were allowed to be wistful and cool, which only made their cuteness land with more impact. Meanwhile, the old cutesy S/mileage songs are indeed making that turn around the long term bend now, because Angerme isn't about cute at the core, but craaaaaaazy energy, so you get that balance again...which ironically is what made Honey Pie so good)

[doc-saturn]

RINDRE’S WAIFU QUEST: aka The Better Lux

a short shitposting game for @pakilusin‘s birthday/Christmas present.

Download it here on Mediafire 

ABOUT THE GAME:

After completing her fantastic new groundbreaking sweet-ass game demo for LUX: dream.girl (that can be downloaded at itch.io & gamejolt), Rindre decides that she should venture out into her own dreams and get her own dream girl, Yume Nikki style.  Accompanied by her boyfriend Len Kagamine (whom she won in a poker game), the two of them must traverse her RTP filled dreams and find the perfect waifu - or die trying.

Rindre’s Waifu Quest aka the Better Lux is a “Yume Nikki Fangame” made in about a month for Rindre, but it’s goofy and nonsensical enough that it can be enjoyed regardless of context I hope.  It’s about 40 minutes long if you lollygag around and try and read everything in one run, with 3 different endings based on one decision in the game since I couldn’t be bothered to do anything meaningful for it.  There’s a random event or two you can find.

 FEATURES:

8 Effects to collect!

4 different branching worlds to explore!

Lots of Flavortext & Dialogue!

Original AND Stolen Sprites!

A soundtrack comprised of mostly Vocaloid and Linkin Park Midis!

Three different endings determined by one choice in the game!

Memes!

Edge!

Puns!

Meta commentary on game development!

Tons and tons of copyright infringement!

Special thanks to @choko-flan for creating Rindre & the Vocaloid’s sprites in this game, as well as beta testing it and giving the game it’s sweet name.  Even more special thank yous to @land-sea-entropy & @lonestargame for being rad people who beta tested this mess when I sent it to them.  And a Super big thank you to @pakilusin herself for putting up with this shit and letting me steal her sprites to make this monster (and for existing in general)!

[stolenlandsshitposts]

Thanks to @mountainashfae for consulting on this. I love being enabled.