#stopped eating

[mias-back-from-the-dead]

tbh i think the funniest phenomena that's been happening in the last couple years is "youtuber, having gone too deep into the research hole, has been made an investigative journalist against their will"

[podcastwizard]

cashier: ok that'll be $20

me (visibly sweating): ah, yes, of course! a perfectly reasonable price for a grilled cheese and a small smoothie! that was exactly the price i expected you to say when i ordered a single grilled cheese and a smoothie and my vision is NOT getting blurry as we speak! i am a perfectly normal temperature and my speech patterns are natural and even because this is the countenance of an individual who expected to pay 20 american dollars for a single grilled cheese and a smoothie!

cashier: where's all that blood coming from

[badolmen]

WARNING 18+

19

[muffinlance]

My baby daughter got her adorable puffin-print dress absolutely CAKED in mud crawling around the yard and my first thought was "oh no her beautiful dress"

And my second thought was "oh huh it really WOULD be easy to unconsciously steer her away from playing in the dirt. Unlike my son, whose outfits are usually some kind of solid dark easily washed pants plus a shirt that doesn't trail in the dirt like a dress does."

Anyway something something gender roles start getting shoved on kids from literal birth, but with a little time to think about things, YOU TOO can let your children of any gender absolutely destroy their clothes in the dirt pit they're digging in your garden

[adriles]

when we’re done with our overwhelming grief we’ll eat i guess

[puerto-nic0]

[theartofmadeline]

yes i'm still thinking about the botw champions in 2024

[wombywoo]

check-up 🤕

[karsunboy]

They took too long grocery shopping and somebody was getting hungry

[lazylittledragon]

i refuse to believe that boycotting is hard. my favourite thing in the world is ordering maccies after a late night at work/a concert/getting drunk. yes i do miss it sometimes. but the other night i ordered from a small place near my house instead and it was the most orgasmic burger i've ever had in my life. i very rarely say this but fucking suck it up people are DEAD

[nerdpoe]

Danny was adopted, and he found out who his birth mother was. He went to Ethiopia to go meet her.

As he was psyching himself up to go into the tent to see her, however, he saw Jason go in first.

So Danny went invisible and intangible, just to observe, definitely not because he was super nervous or anything, but something isn't right. She never once mentions that, apparently, Jason is a twin. Jason is Danny's twin.

Then everything goes to hell in a handbasket and she sells his twin brother to the Joker.

And yeah, no. That isn't happening. It's cool his brother is a hero too, but Danny's gonna have to step in here.

[notalizard]

You ever get bored y’all can just look at bumper stickers on Etsy

Might do a part 2

Who knows really?

[chappelroans]

missing someone bad for you

trista mateer / trista mateer / sue zhao / u.k / u.k / clementine von radics / trista mateer

[inklessletter]

Easy there, be gentle.

[the-travelling-witch]

Mc: *sneezes*

Mammon, leaning towards Levi, whispering: What does it mean when humans do that?

Levi, whispering back: I think they just took a screenshot

[cosmicwhoreo]

I think I introduced my cats to each other incorrectly...