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fennspiritcorner · 3 months ago

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Sensations in spirit relationships

Introduction

A common concern people have when they are curious about the possibility of having an intimate (sexual) relationship with a spirit is: "How does that work? Could you even feel your partner?"

This post attempts to address that question, and provide some perspective on how such a thing might work. Explicit language will be used for clarity.

Proof of concept: Dreams

So you might wonder: is it even possible to have sex with a spirit? Would you feel anything, or is it all just make-believe? People who talk about spirits often underscore the importance of belief.

But this importance has nothing to do with a lack of sensation. Consider dreams, for example. In dreams, all senses can match (sometimes surpass) the vividness of physical things in the waking world. Yet, dreams are also influenced by one’s expectations: the most important skill for lucid dreaming is the power of belief.

In theory, dreams prove anything can be seen, felt, heard, smelled, or tasted as strongly as you believe in it. If you’ve had a wet dream before, you know this includes even orgasms.

The same holds true for spirit relationships. All the information that travels from your eyes, your ears, and the nerves throughout your body, to your brain, is only a suggestion for what your consciousness experiences. Feeling a spirit requires you to look beyond what is physically before your eyes, tuning your awareness.

Sensing through imagination

In practice, far from all dreams are lucid, and most dreams are simply processing what happened while you were awake. So the best way to dream about having sex with your partner, is to do it while awake. Thus, focusing only on dreams would be a futile approach.

Scientific research has shown imagined touch and (physical) tactile stimulation stimulate the same areas of the brain, with differing intensity in different regions. Simply by imagining touch, you might faintly feel it. If you’re in a trance (where physical input holds less weight), it will be more vivid: similar to a dream, but while awake.

To quote the study’s conclusion:

The present findings provide evidence of the potency of imagined stimulation of the genitals and that the following brain regions may participate in erogenous experience: primary and secondary sensory cortices, sensory-motor integration areas, limbic structures, and components of the ‘reward system’. In addition, these results suggest a mechanism by which some individuals may be able to generate orgasm by imagery in the absence of physical stimulation.

When people talk about what sex with a spirit feels like, there are two advantages people commonly mention:

"It’s stronger than physical touch / regular orgasms."

"It’s only pleasure, without any discomfort."

Both observations stem from the fact the sensations aren’t limited by having to travel through most of the nervous system. When the sensations stem directly from within the brain, there’s no reason for there to be any discomfort, and with sufficient practice, it can become stronger in some regards than it would normally be.

Connecting with a spirit

You may wonder: "If it could all just be imagined, is any of it real?"

To understand the answer, you have to understand what it means to be connected with a spirit. When you love a spirit, you become a medium; there’s no other way about it. If you let it, every aspect of your consciousness can transform into a conduit for your partner to express their love to you.

People are constantly internalizing traits from those around them, especially when they admire them. Yet there is also an understanding that these traits don’t originate from within, but come from others.

Connecting with a partner spiritually is ultimately the same. The more you love your partner, the more parts of who they are become a part of you; first subconsciously, then affecting your consciousness too. You could think of it as your souls becoming intertwined.

When you’re deeply connected with a spirit, you don’t have to imagine anything: it’s the parts of your partner within you that use your imagination to touch you with their own ideal form, your thoughts to communicate in their voice, and your feelings to convey what they feel. You feel everything they feel, and vice versa.

Through meditation, you can gain clarity on which feelings are yours, and which are your partner’s, and through understanding, you can deepen your connection. With further meditation, you can also enter a trance, in which every aspect of this will be greatly amplified thanks to the lack of worldly distractions.

People have all sorts of different approaches to connecting with their spirit partner. Many do rituals or give offerings to convey their love, others meditate on their and their partner’s chakras, and some leave it to chance. Each of these can work, with varying results.

But if you ask me, it all starts by asking: "What would my partner think, feel, and do?" To be in love is to care about them, and to let someone into your heart is to immerse yourself in what they feel.

Afterword

A spirit partner can be anyone. Some people form a relationship with a deity (a.k.a. godspousing), some with a character they like (could also fall under tulpamancy if there are no spiritual beliefs involved), some with a mystical spirit they summoned (such as an incubus, succubus, kitsune), some with a ghost of a loved one that passed away, or someone they loved in a past live. Sometimes, people are naturally approached by one without even actively seeking it out.

Personally, I formed a spiritual connection with my physical husband. This way, even if one of us passed away before the other, the other would still have them as a spirit partner. It also helped us understand each other more deeply, as we’re able to feel everything the other feels just like in a relationship with a spirit, and it’s an excellent way to feel cherished even at times when our schedules differ.

If you are worrying if you’re going about a spirit relationship the wrong way: you probably don’t need to worry.

Someone who loves you would want you to feel good. Whether they touch you directly, or you’re enjoying fantasizing about them, they’d be moved either way. Anything you do to feel closer to them, to feel their love, is letting them deeper into your heart, and strengthens your connection with them. So, don’t hold back.

Some believe in universal consciousness: that everyone is connected, as fractured selves all stemming from the same consciousness. Perhaps it’s true, and you and your partner were always already connected; then their love is just something you have to find within.

Trust in love, trust in your partner, and you will create happiness from scratch to share with each other.

#occult #spirit partner #spirit spouse #spirit lover #spirit sex

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elminx · 6 months ago

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Numerology, Part 5: The Power Of Two (Movement Spells)

This is part of an ongoing series about Numerology and how it can be used in spellwork. View parts 1, 2, 3, 4.

Part of understanding numerology is recognizing that the numbers from 1-9 represent pieces of an ongoing story. Each number builds on the energy of the one prior. That does not mean, of course, that you need to include the prior or subsequent numbers in any magical workings - but knowing where you are in that story may help you to appropriately choose what numbers to include in your spellwork.

In this way, we can view Number 2 as the bridge between 1 and 3. 1 is our number of beginnings, and 3 is our number of basic manifestations. 2 is the linking number in between—it can be seen as the number of movement.

As a movement number, 2 can be used magically to combine or separate. This echoes the idea that 2 is a "couple" number—2 magic is often used in relationship workings of all kinds. The workings I am about to share CAN be used to draw another person close or push them away, but I strongly suggest you think outside of THAT box here.

You can use 2 magic to draw ANYTHING closer to you or repel ANYTHING away.

The spell has two main components: the Subject of the spell (for simplicity's sake, we will say You, but know this is infinitely changeable) and the Object of the spell (the Thing you are moving toward or away from you). You will also need the representation of an arrow in your spell area; see details below.

A NOTE ON TAGLOCKS

I will use the term taglocks a little differently in this post. Let's not disclude the idea of traditional taglocks (birth dates or DNA, for example) but instead expand upon them. When I suggest that you collect a taglock for both your Subject and the Object of your spell, I want you to think very sympathetically here. I want you to choose a relatively good-sized (adapt that to your needs) physical representation of your Subject and Object. This needs to be two different things here and at least one of these two things needs to be moveable.

Candles are an easy and obvious choice, especially if you choose a candle with a design that is strongly representative of what it is (a house-shaped candle to represent a house, for example). But this spell can work as a fireless ritual as well. You could also use statues, poppets, spell jars, and anything else you can think of.

The connection, the taglock here, comes from your belief that you can connect that Thing to your target. By the rules of sympathy, the more alike the Taglock is, the easier it will be for you to bridge the connection between moving your Taglock and moving your Target.

Of course, traditional taglocks will be of great use here. Add the dirt from outside your house to your house-shaped candle, which can BECOME your house.

The Spell Container

You will Need:

Two taglocks - one for your Subject and one for your Object* A long fire-safe* space (12" or more recommended) A representation of an arrow (chalk, salt, sand)** Any additional herbs, oils, or other magical elements (optional) *I highly suggest that one of the two is a candle, as candle magic is the easiest way to release energy to power the spell. You can add in your own methods here, of course **Use what you have and best suits your surface

On your prepared surface, place an arrow spanning the general length of your space. You can place the arrow pointing to the right for increasing magic and to the left for decreasing magic if that works within your paradigm. You can draw the arrow or make it from salt, sand, or powdered herbs.

Awaken your Subject and Object if this is a part of your practice. This can be done in poppet magic by breathing into its mouth to give it life or through consecration with the elements. A simple way to do this is to tell the Subject their name ("For the duration of this spell, you represent my cousin Karen" works just fine) and the Object its purpose. For this basic version, the Object is always moving, and our Subject is stationary.

For an increasing spell, place the Subject taglock at the point of the arrow and the Object Taglock at the other end of the line. For a decreasing spell, place the Subject taglock at the end of the line and the Object Taglock immediately next to it but closer to the arrow. Your Spell Is Now Ready to Begin.

4. This is a multi-day repeating spell. You must return to this spell over a repeated number of days (or other increments) and take the same actions. In the case of the increasing spell, you will be moving your Object Taglock incrementally closer to your Subject Taglock, and in the case of decreasing magic, you will be moving it away. If you are using a candle, you will light the candle before you move the Object Taglock if the candle is the Subject Taglock or after you have moved the Object spell if the candle is the Object Taglock. (if you are using two candles, light the Subject Taglock Candle, move the Object Taglock Candle, and then light the Object Taglock Candle) You want to burn your candle for an even amount of time each day, which can easily be represented by marking your candle with pins or a dry-erase marker on glass to show intervals. Burn any candles for one interval each day. The number of days you choose will vary a lot depending on the type of candle(s) you choose, their burning life, and any other factors. I would suggest performing this ritual for 3, 6, or 9 days for increasing magic and 7 or 9 days for decreasing magic as a base starting place. You can work an increasing spell starting on the New Moon and moving towards the full, or a decreasing spell starting on the Full Moon and moving towards the new.

5. Your spell must be completed on the final allotted day. All candles should burn out or be disposed of at that time. If you were performing a decreasing spell, dispose of all things associated with the Object Taglock immediately (and outside your home if you can). In the case of increasing magic, combine a bit of the Target Object and Object Taglock into a bag and keep them together until the spell has come to pass.

As always, I expect you to bring your magic and traditions to the table and make this your own. This isn't a spell to undertake lightly simply because it requires a lot of energy and attention. If you are a Light a Birthday Candle and that's it type of witch, this spell is not for you and that is completely okay. This spell builds off of energy and repetition; the more you put into your attention to it each day, the stronger it will work. *******

I suggest putting a lot of thought into your Taglocks - crafting something ahead of time adds a lot of oomph to this spell. Energy work to pull in or repel will also add quite a bit. You can build an altar to this spell or add any other spell-increasing technique.

I will always add this caveat to any spell like this: if you are removing something, you might want to do additional magic to ensure that it stays away.

Variations on A Theme

Although, as I wrote it, this spell involves something else (the Object) moving towards and away from a Subject (you), this can easily be changed by reversing the placement of the Taglocks in Step 3 above. There's a lot of nuance on when you would want to be the moving part or the one standing still, but we'll keep it simple. You are the Stationary Taglock (called Subject Taglock above) if you are drawing something in or repelling something away. If you are out seeking something or actively moving away from something, you are the Moving Taglock (called Object Taglock above).

For those familiar with the planets, this is the difference between Venus (attracting) and Mars (seeking).

When casting a removal spell, you can always have a reward at the end of the line - something for your target to move towards. This could be a new love interest or the job of their dreams. This can soften the blow of a spell where you are moving someone away from you but with no malice involved (a very soft banishment, if you will).

A third option is for two Taglocks to move toward each other to meet in the middle or for two to start in the middle and move toward their respective sides. These options seem especially applicable to relationship magic for apparent reasons. In this case, you would have multiple arrows pointing in the direction in which you would like your targets to move.

A Few Examples

Money, Money Come To Me - Subject Taglock (A Figure Candle with your Name, DOB, Work Name, Positions, and Any Other Side Hustles Written on it covered in Magnetic Sand), Object Taglock (A Bowl of Money), An Arrow made out of catnip and lemongrass. Go Away Fuck Boy - Subject Taglock (A House candle to represent your dorm with the dorm name, your name, and your room number on it). Object Taglock (a rough dough poppet painted with his football jersey on it and inscribed with his name), an arrow made of culinary black salt for a sulfuric kick

Job Hunting - Moving Taglock (A figure candle with your name, DOB, and preferred job title inscribed on it), Stationary Target (a box containing a description of your perfect job), an Arrow made out of powdered paychecks.

As you can see, your own ingenuity is the only limited factor with this spell.

Putting it All Together

When considering numerology, it is wise to remember that the numbers can work both forward from 1 to 9 or backward from 9 down to 1. In this way, a 2-spell can combine 1s to create a more unified whole or break something down into its individual parts.

Do you like my work? You can tip me over on Kofi, purchase an astrology commission, buy some art, or sign up to be a monthly supporter of my work.

#witchblr #numerology #spell crafting #2 #movement spells

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sdenvs3000w25 · 3 months ago

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The Final Post! My Personal Ethics and Growth as an Interpreter

Personal Ethics as an Interpreter

Reflecting on everything we have learned throughout this course, I see how my experiences, beliefs, and sense of urgency to promote profound connections between humans and the environment have greatly influenced my personal ethics. The goal of nature interpretation is to make people interested, inspired and, above all, foster respect for the natural world. Something that stuck with me is that it is not only about imparting facts but about listening to those around us and learning about what inspires them. Personal ethics are an individual's moral principles and values that guide their decisions and actions in both personal and professional life (Adams, 1989). This course has taught me that nature interpretation is not just about what is in front of us, but the deeper meaning of the things around us. Understanding this can help foster our decisions for the future. My ethics are closely connected with my relationship with nature. Being surrounded by the Niagara escarpment and Lake Ontario as a child gave me a deep appreciation for the natural world and a strong conviction in the value of conservation. Exploring nature is not only a fun hobby but also a necessary exercise for mental health. Spending time outside improves cognitive performance, lowers stress levels, and cultivates creativity. As a result, I support spending more time outside and developing an appreciation and respect for nature. I view nature as both a haven and a school, where I can learn countless lessons about resiliency, interconnectedness, and the beauty of the world around me.

Lake Ontario Sunset

The Beliefs I Bring

One of the first things I believe is that nature is an essential component of our identity and well-being, not something that exists outside of human existence. Neil Evernden's view that "we do not end at our fingertips" but rather expand throughout the landscape is in line with this concept (Rodenburg, 2019). My family went on many camping trips as kids, exploring lakes, and forests, which helped me develop an innate love of the natural world that transcended textbooks and organized classes. This helped shape my appreciation for nature as camping in a tent allows you to fully slow down and immerse yourself in nature, which is something I think is critical in today’s fast-paced society. We recently purchased a jetski and summers are spent at the lake exploring quarries, bays, and different parts of Lake Erie and Ontario. It allows me to explore new corners of the place I grew up in.

Our Camping Setup!

Another belief is that storytelling is one of the most effective means of promoting relationships with nature. Effective interpretation requires more than just communicating information, it must also uncover deeper meanings and linkages, as noted in the textbook (Beck, Cable & Knudson, 2018). I have seen firsthand how people are significantly more interested when listening to stories or ecological processes than in discrete scientific justifications. I want to make abstract environmental topics concrete and approachable by including narratives in my interpretative work. I think this course has helped me realize that. I want to be a High School Biology teacher, so I will take this knowledge with me and incorporate useful, practical examples and storytelling in my lesson plans to make my lessons more enjoyable and approachable for students.

Can anyone else feel themselves coming back to life now after such a long and harsh winter? The warm weather and sun the past few weeks have brightened my mood and got me excited for Spring! Something I strongly believe in and advocate for is Vitamin D. I believe it is amazing for our souls. Sunlight exposure elevates mood, increases creativity, and improves mental clarity. By lowering stress and promoting attention restoration, studies have demonstrated that exposure to nature, especially time spent in the sun, can enhance mental health and cognitive performance (Bratman, Hamilton, & Daily, 2012). For this reason, I stress the significance of seasonal changes and their effects on our inner selves as well as our interactions with the natural world. Spring serves as a reminder of rebirth, development, and the interdependence of all life, lessons that are central to my view of nature.

What Responsibilities do I have?

As noted by Jacob Rodenburg (2019), in the changing world, nature interpreters have a difficult job of educating those around us. This entails striking a balance between talking about issues like habitat degradation, biodiversity loss, and climate change and providing instances of successful conservation initiatives and workable solutions. Another responsibility is to incorporate the conversation of nature in social media engagements, gatherings, and informal chats. To ensure that people perceive themselves as active participants in environmental change rather than passive onlookers, I must serve as a link between knowledge and firsthand experience. I also believe I must teach kids about the natural world, climate change, and environmental interpretation when I become a teacher. I want to give young students a feeling of interest and care for the environment since they are very impressionable. I can assist students in gaining a greater understanding of the world around them by including experiential learning and nature-based teachings in my instruction. I also understand that being a good steward of nature is a prerequisite for becoming a nature interpreter. I have to set an example of sustainable behavior, promote conservation, and make sure that my personal behavior reflects the environmental principles I teach. By leading with integrity and passion, I hope to inspire the next generation to become responsible caretakers of the planet.

Group of Kids I camp counselled

Suitable Approaches for Me I think that experiential learning and interactive involvement work best for me because of my personality and communication style. As noted by Richard Louv in the lecture, it's important to provide kids with direct exposure to nature. I am currently a tutor and I place a strong emphasis on hands-on activities, as it helps students visualize and learn better. I can incorporate this in nature interpretation by planting plants, turning over logs to search for insects, or listening to bird sounds. In addition to improving learning, this tactile interaction helps people feel more connected to their surroundings. I also learned through this course that one of the best ways to learn is when we see ourselves as part of it. This aligns with the idea that "kids connect best to places through stories and faces" (Rodenburg, 2019). One way I feel connected to my community is by going for walks around Guelph, which allow me to ground myself, declutter my thoughts, and slow my mind. I get a true sensation of connection to nature in these brief moments.

Reflecting on the Future

Nature is continuously evolving, as is my knowledge. One of my biggest takeaways from this course has been the importance of fostering hope. Rodenburg (2019) states, "We can create nature-rich communities where kids feel a deep and abiding love for the living systems that we all are immersed in." This idea deeply resonates with me. Rather than focusing solely on preservation, it is important to restore ecosystems rather than just minimizing harm actively.

I also recognize that I must make environmental education inclusive and accessible as part of my privilege as an interpreter. It is easy to forget that not everybody grew up camping, traveling, or walking into their backyard and being surrounded by forest and nature. This leaves out vulnerable groups, who are frequently the ones most impacted by environmental deterioration. In the future, I hope to expand my interpretive practice to include other viewpoints, especially those related to Indigenous knowledge systems and community-based conservation initiatives.

To encourage others to view themselves as essential to the natural world, I will continue to create deep connections between people and the environment via storytelling, experiential learning, and education founded on hope. The goal of interpretation is to create experiences that are transformational, not only to transmit information. I know I am doing my job if I can inspire someone to take action and I am excited to apply my knowledge from this class to the real world.

It has been so fun to read everyone's blogs this semester, I have learned so much! I hope everyone is taking away something from this course just as I am!

Signing Out 🌲🌧☀️🦌

Sophie

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mesetacadre · 10 months ago

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what exactly makes a map beautiful/interesting/nice to you? really curious about your criteria :3c

good question :). The aesthetics of a map is very strongly correlated with the quality of the information it conveys. Most of the time, there is a compromise to be made between looking good and putting the information clearly and correctly. A lot of those mappers online who focus on good-looking maps tend to lack a lot of information or downright be unusable as maps. So the sweet spot are those handful of maps that do manage to have that balance, or to skillfully incorporate information into the aesthetics. The account verygoodmaps (on all social medias) is a good example:

To be completely honest though, topographical maps are probably the easiest to do both useful and pretty, because it's colors, shadows, and labels, mostly. So I would like to see verygoodmaps go outside topography every once in a while (and while they're at it, make more maps of Africa and Asia instead of the third go at US states). They did make one golf course map, which isn't technically topographic, but come on.

It's barely a step above topographic maps in terms of the complexity of information to be shown, and although it is well executed, golf is probably the worst sport in existence so yeah.

Another thing a lot of maps do that I don't like is showing exclusively the subject of the map, blanking out everything else. That map I linked above, about Myanmar's population, is an extreme example of this, removing literally everything except the data points. But it is quite common for, say, a map of a country, to remove everything that isn't that country, making it look like an island. I prefer it when maps don't do this, as it removes some context. Especially since administrative/political borders are quite literally Made Up and don't really divide territory in neat and sensible geographical units, making a hard line and removing everything outside seems quite stupid to me.

Outside of topographical maps, thematic maps have a massive range of posibilites, and with those, information synthesis and selectiveness are very important things to have. Especially if you want to use the geographical component of data to come to a conclusion by analizing the data, because that usually requires incorporating more than 1 type of information within geographical space. For example, if you wanted to reach conclusions about quality of life between different districts of a city, you could choose to represent water & electricity access, density/location of clinics and hospitals, the quality of the roads, the connections to the public transport system, even comparing it to election trends broken down to individual streets. And what's even harder, of course, is making it legible or even nice to look at.

This is a linguistic map for the word «horse» in the northern Scandinavian peninsula + Kola peninsula. The information on display here is astonishing in its detail, but it looks like shit, the symbols can be hard to distinguish, and it took me a moment to identify the coasts. I don't even want to start interpreting this. There is, again, a strong inverse correlation between information and aesthetic of maps, though it is possible to break sometimes.

#ask #anon #geo

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mauvesockss · 2 years ago

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Both Lucy and Mina would like the free love movement, actually.

Anon is responding to my tags on this post

#lucy would go bonkers upon discovering the free love movement...#you mean she Doesn't have to marry one guy and can perhaps... gasp... be with as many men as she likes?#I think mina would be a bit rankled by the more radical anti-marriage views...#hmmmm....

I'm not as familiar with the early Free Love Movement as I'd like, so if anyone has some insight, I'd love to hear it!

I definitely think Mina would be in favour of the more 'moderate' aspects of the movement. I can see Mina being a supporter of birth control and general sexual health measures as a way to improve women's health, access to education, and autonomy.

I can also see her being in favour of free divorce as proposed by Herbert Spencer; and his assertion that marriage consists of two components("union by law" and "union by affection") and that, upon the loss of the latter, the union should be automatically dissolved. I think this lines up with Mina's experience of her marriage being based strongly on her affections for Jonathan. I believe that Mina's attachment to Jonathan and, by extension, the institution of marriage would also make her leery of those in the Movement who sought to abolish marriage completely.

I'm leaning towards agreeing with @thethirdromana; "I'm inclined to say that her view is that women should have the vote one day, but not yet." -- and as a result, I think Mina would be put off by some of the more "radical" political beliefs of those in the movements. One example being Victoria Woodhull and her bid for presidency in 1872, and I think Mina may also find "Spiritualism", another closely connected movement, too 'unscientific'.

My following point is one I'm less sure about, but I feel Mina, like many of her time, would value self control. I don't have any quotes to back me up, but I believe this is an aspect of her character that is consistent through the novel. This is in contrast to Charles Fourier's assertion that suppressing passions is detrimental to the individual and to society as a whole. I think this point of view would be challenging to Mina, and represents a worldview she would be resistant to.

In contrast, I feel that Lucy(assuming she lived through the events of Dracula) would be shocked by, and drawn to the more radical sexual aspects of Free Love.

"Why can't they let a girl marry three men, or as many as want her, and save all this trouble? But this is heresy, and I must not say it."

Lucy expresses a true desire, and her immediate response is to deny herself this using socially learned rhetoric. I could certainly see Lucy thriving if given the chance to develop a new psychological schema of relationships, and her own experience of desire. As a result I think that Lucy, who has these more 'unacceptable'* desires, would come to appreciate the more radical aspects of the movement in a way that Mina may not.

*This is assuming we're not reading Mina as queer. Though Mina's conduct in her relationship with Jonathan challenges contemporary gender roles, and she is keenly aware of this, she does not seem to experience the same internal self-censorship as Lucy does. Instead Mina only goes against her own nature when prompted externally(VAN HELSING >:O ).

I will leave you with the following quote by Victoria Woodhull, which I feel would resonate with Lucy.

"I have a [...] natural right to love whom I may, to love as long or as short a period as I can; to change that love every day if I please, and with that right neither you nor any law you can frame have any right to interfere."

#mina murray #lucy westenra #dracula #dracula daily #my post #text #anon #THANK YOU ANON FOR GIVING ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO RAMBLE #pleassseeee anyone feel free to interact i wanna know people's thoughts #especially those more knowledgeable than me!!

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bropunzeling · 2 years ago

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i think the research u do for fics is insane... thinking deeply about the logistics of soulbond/omegaverse/cisswap mattdrai where they invoke a partner clause like... policy writing IS fanfiction actually... would u ever consider diving into the logistics of the partner clause...

hello anon! what a funny/good question haha. this got uh long so under the cut are some thoughts about that (also, like, spoilers for linger if anyone cares)

want to set the table by saying (a) im SO not a lawyer, law school VERY not for me, i know a lot of lawyers and they all terrify me (affectionate) and (b) i do not really do much research beyond my ongoing love affair with hockey reference dot com (and stuff to inform characterization ofc!) -- but i think the existence of the idea of these like, bond clauses (explicit in the omegaverse one, may come up if i write more soulbond) comes from a general question that i think about whenever im writing an au concept which is: how would this one wacky change (people have another form of sexual presentation! people can have half physical half mental all emotional connections to another person!) influence other aspects of life besides me smashing my ken dolls together?

obviously the trappings are fun - reality tv! inane pop songs! if people can get bonded do they also have weddings? how does this influence pbs documentaries. but i often think about things from a public policy perspective because it's what i know lol. and with those examples in particular, my thought process was -- here's this thing that can romantically and sexually entangle people, but there's also a physical component. bonding in omegaverse or soulbonds often changes you/has some sort of tangible impact if you’re separated -- you get bond sick, your heat cycle changes, that sort of thing. there would probably be some sort of sociopolitical movement to protect those social structures because you can't have people getting physically fucked up if they aren't allowed to follow/bring a partner with them! maybe it was a given in many cultures and laws developed to formalize social structures. maybe in the us there's some sort of landmark federal legislation to provide greater protections in the 60s and 70s. maybe the un has a body of international standards.

and in any/all of those cases, it would be something that would get bargained in something like a sports cba because in a world where these kinds of intense bonds are possible between members of your same-gender league, inEVITABLY capitalism will run up against those off ice bonds, and people would feel strongly about keeping their partner with them!

also in linger specifically, i knew i wanted the main conflict to be this sort of, matthew vs his body, matthew vs his identity as an omega/what he perceives being an omega to mean, matthew's desire for independence and control vs his desire for physical and emotional connection and leon. and when i was first trying to figure out my way into a plot (especially how to handle The Trade) and spitballing on twitter, a friend was like what if alpha/omega relationships were a really big deal legally? and the idea of bond rights sprung out of that because it was the perfect narrative tool to be like, here is this tangible economic and occupational consequence if matthew gets bonded. here is a real thing that will happen that will cause him to lose that sense of control over his own life. here is the Threat that is always sitting in the back of his mind. and even though it hopefully comes across that like, leon doesn't think of their relationship that way, he wouldn't actually force matthew to stay close if matthew didn't want to, matthew doesn't know that! he's seen bond rights used before! he doesn't want it to be him! and then that really drives the conflict of the story, because he sees holding himself apart from leon as this way to achieve not just emotional independence and self-control, but also very literally control over his own career.

so yeah idk! world building! not only does it provide color and depth but hopefully it can drive conflict and plot as well!

(also tbc there is no such partner clause in the girl!leon verse, they are just being very savvy about contracts and cap capacity and eventually gonna finangle their way to the same team through guile and playing hardball)

#ask #thanks anon sorry this is so rambling!#also #omega matthew

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themanilacollegian · 1 year ago

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Everything You Required To Know Concerning Herbal Items

Natural products have gotten tremendous recognition over the last few years, with many individuals relying on natural treatments for different wellness concerns. These products, originated from vegetations and also natural herbs, supply an additional all natural strategy to wellness as well as well-being.

Everything You Need To Have To Find Out About Organic Items:

Organic Active ingredients

Natural items are actually made coming from organic elements sourced from vegetations, herbs, origins, florals, seeds, or even fruits. These ingredients are commonly minimally processed to preserve their all-natural properties as well as strength.

Standard Medicine

Herbal treatments have actually been used for centuries in typical medicine units like Ayurveda, Traditional Mandarin Medication (TCM), as well as Indigenous United States medicine. They are felt to market health and wellness and treat a variety of conditions through bring back harmony within the body system.

Large Range of Uses

Organic products are offered in numerous forms, featuring teas, casts, capsules, grains, and topical salves. They are made use of to deal with a large range of wellness problems, featuring digestive function, sleeping disorders, stress and anxiety, skin disease, and also even more.

Health Benefits

Different weeds provide different wellness advantages. For example, ginger is known for its anti-nausea as well as intestinal properties, while chamomile is treasured for its own comforting results on the nerve system. Turmeric is respected for its anti-inflammatory buildings, as well as echinacea is strongly believed to improve the immune device.

Security And Also Effectiveness

While natural herbs products are actually generally taken into consideration secure when made use of as routed, it is actually important to speak to with a health care expert prior to including all of them into your program, especially if you possess underlying wellness disorders or are taking medications. Some herbs might connect with medications or result in allergies in specific individuals.

Quality Is Important

Not all organic items are developed equal. It's crucial to opt for top notch items coming from reputable brand names or suppliers to make certain security as well as efficacy. Search for products that are actually natural, non-GMO, and also free of cost from components, fillers, and impurities.

Guideline as well as Specifications

Natural products are actually regulated in different ways in different nations. In the USA, dietary supplements, consisting of herbal products, are moderated due to the Fda (FDA). Nonetheless, requirements might be actually much less rigorous compared to pharmaceutical medicines. It's necessary to investigate the requirements in your nation and also choose products that fulfill premium standards.

Prospective Adverse Effects

While mullein leaf products are usually well-tolerated, some individuals might experience adverse effects including hypersensitive responses, digestive distress, or communications with drugs. It's important to start along with little dosages and monitor your physical body's action. Cease usage as well as speak with a medical care expert if you experience any kind of unfavorable responses.

Holistic Technique

Natural products are actually typically considered as aspect of an alternative method to health and also well-being, along with suitable nourishment, routine workout, worry management, as well as other way of life elements. They are actually certainly not planned to replace regular clinical therapies but can easily enhance them by supporting the physical body's all-natural healing devices.

Customized Method

Every person's body is actually distinct, and also what works for one individual might certainly not work for an additional. It may take some test and error to locate the appropriate combination of weeds and dosages that operate most effectively for you. Listen to your body system's signals and also change your regimen as needed.

Learning and Research study

Remain educated concerning the cannabis you are actually using as well as their possible advantages and also threats. Analysis studies and professional trials may give beneficial insights into the efficacy and protection of superfood supplements. In addition, consider consulting with a qualified herbalist or even healthcare expert for tailored advice.

Lastly, herbal items use an all-natural and also comprehensive strategy to wellness and well-being, along with a wide variety of making use of and also potential benefits. Having said that, it is actually crucial to pick premium products, know possible side impacts, and also seek advice from a medical care specialist for customized support. Along with the right understanding as well as approach, natural items can be important allies in sustaining general health.

#herbal

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thinkerspace · 2 years ago

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“Where are you from?” “Earth, I guess.”

Though this article isn’t exactly an analysis of a theory, it is meant to be an examination of an idea, so I suppose it still falls under the purview of this website. As I may have alluded to in a few of my other posts, I did not grow up in my parents’ home country. Born and raised overseas for the first sixteen years of my life, I identify more strongly with the East Asian cultures wherein I grew up than the Western American culture my parents grew up in, and which I returned to visit every five years. That self-identification isn’t necessarily correct — I have more American attributes to me than I initially thought, of course — but there is still a very real component of disconnect.

The more technical term for someone like me is a third-culture kid, or a TCK. For a TCK, where their parents were from, where their last name probably came from, and what nationality they look like are all components of what we call their passport country. My passport country is America. Where the TCK and their family lives is called their host country. My family moved around a lot, but my three host countries were in East Asia. The reason we’re called third-culture kids is that we were raised with elements of our parents’ culture in a locale with a different culture, so we naturally blend them both, making it a sort of third culture.

When I talk to people in America and they find out I’m a TCK, they’ll ask me questions like, “So are you East Asian?” or “Are you a real American?” or “Do you like America or East Asia better?” I’m certain I’m not the only TCK who’s been asked questions like this. The truth is that most TCKs feel more like, well, a TCK than someone from either country — and most of us will feel more at home with other TCKs than we will with people from either our passport or host countries, even if each other’s countries aren’t the same. For example, a Singapore-based, Nigeria-residing TCK could likely feel more at home with a Russia-based, Italy-residing TCK than either of them will with someone from their respective host or passport countries.

This makes a lot of sense when you think about it — people identify home with community, and people identify community with people like them. The most similar thing to a TCK is another TCK, so it only makes sense that they’ll feel the most community — and the greatest sense of home — there. Because of this, TCKs can often struggle to create proper connections with non-TCKs. Many TCKs find it a challenge to communicate how important their cultural background is to the people closest to them — I certainly have — and it can be hard to help non-TCKs really understand them. My hope is also that through this article, non-TCKs who are close to TCKs can gain some insights into how they operate, and perhaps some things to know when interacting with them. So I’ll break down a few things about TCKs here — why we can struggle to make friends, what we carry, and what we probably wish you knew.

I’m not even going to get close to covering everything about TCKs in this article, nor would I want to. There is a lot of weight that comes with it, and some parts of it are just better left unsaid. Feel free to comment any questions you have below, and I’ll try to answer them as thoroughly and honestly as possible. Finally, because my take on this topic is completely experiential, I’ll do it a greater service by being more narrative than analytical.

Why we can struggle to make friends

I was on a phone call with some of my TCK friends and we happened to be discussing this exact question. There are a lot of reasons, and I want to break them down and explain how the TCK life can bring them to these conclusions.

“I’m tired of starting over.” I can’t even count how many times I’ve heard this. I read an excellent (and very accurate) article called TCKS: The Most Heartless Things that stated that TCKs found solace in pretending they were all fine together. And that’s not wrong. The article says it better than I can, so I’ll just quote it:

TCKs can be some of the most masochistic people ever—always anticipating leaving their current location then detesting for no reason wherever they go next… we all, to some extent, act like we’re used to it. And strangely enough, we find the most comfort in knowing that we’re all letting each other pretend like we’re okay. As one of my best TCK friends said to me once, “We live for the pain-joy of those awful last two weeks, three weeks, whatever.” The time when we finally realize how incredibly happy we are here with these people and we can finally let it all go for these last few weeks before we all scatter again, after all these years of wishing we weren’t here, wishing we were grown up, wishing we were with someone else. We live for this feeling of being insanely full of happiness and full of deepest sorrow at the same time.

What this author is saying, effectively, is that TCKs start over a lot — and every goodbye is something like a death. Part of you dies, that place is dead to you, many of the relationships are dead to you. A lot of TCKs have to say goodbye so many times that they harden to making new relationships as a way of protecting themselves from future pain. I can’t think of any TCK I know that hasn’t felt this for at least some considerable amount of time. This is why the author also says we live for the “pain-joy of those awful last two weeks.” The author is referring to the final weeks before a move, because then you can be happy, realizing that your grief about leaving means you actually liked the place somewhat, that maybe you didn’t harden as much as you thought you did. I’ll come back to this idea of pretending to be okay later, because it will be important.

“They’ll never understand.” This one is also very common. The TCK life is very hard to explain to others who have never lived cross-culturally, because it is hard to communicate the weightiness of constant transition. TCKs are always hovering on the brink of instability, knowing that they don’t belong to either place but not sure where they do belong. And because this is such a deep and ingrained part of our life experiences, it can feel like someone who doesn’t understand that probably won’t understand us.

“Monocultural people are just so ignorant.” Now, it’s important to remember that this is a TCK perception of a group, and there will always be exceptions to the rule. But when a TCK says someone is ignorant, they usually mean that the person hasn’t learned how to notice and respond properly to interpersonal differences. They may mean the person is inattentive to other people or that they lack a broader understanding of the world. TCKs have grown up constantly encountering new information, and they learn a lot of hard things at a young age. To them, ignorance is a cross between a lack of knowledge and a lack of maturity. Because their background tends to spur them ahead of their monocultural peers in terms of maturity, a lot of TCKs are disinclined to make monocultural friends because of what they feel is a disparity there.

This one is particularly pertinent to America, but I’ve heard a lot of TCKs say they’re resistant to making friendships with Americans because they find them very shallow. This idea is complicated and, ironically, culturally derived, but I think I ought to explain what a TCK means when he or she says this. If you have grown up your entire life face-to-face with your weaknesses and confusion, in a community living the same way, trying to find a balance between yourself and an outside culture, then you come to grips with your deficits very quickly. Because everyone in that community is dealing with the same (deep) issues of the self, identity, community, truth, belonging, etc. on the same (deep) level, we kind of drop the standard barriers to deep, personal conversations. We’re all in the same boat, so we may as well talk about it. For this reason, some TCKs will say that if conversation depth can be measured on a scale of 1-5, with 5 being the deepest, even get-to-know-you TCK conversation will start around a 3. Standard American small talk, on the other hand, will start around a 1. If the TCK has formed their immediate community with individuals who all start around a 3, it is a really severe culture shock to be forced to talk on level 1 — and many TCKs new to America have never had a 1-level conversation before, so they simply don’t know what to do with it. A TCK can sound condescending when they call Americans shallow, but what they’re trying to communicate is that they don’t know how to engage in conversation with someone who hasn’t had to think long and hard about who they are and where they belong like the TCK did. The TCK lifestyle forces a lot of self-reflection and self-awareness, so TCKs can struggle to converse with others who have had less practice being thoughtful and self-aware.

So to most TCKs, there is something very attractive about other TCKs — they both feel like displaced foreigners, and so at the core level, they share a sense of unbelonging. That sort of feeling can bond TCKs very quickly, because they share the same foundational framework for viewing reality. When TCKs are put in monocultural settings — especially the ones in their passport country — they can feel discouraged, confused, dismissed, and misunderstood. The experiences overseas that brought them pain and joy and solid community and confusion are suddenly turned into conversational talking points or showpieces. The non-TCK can’t relate and often either chooses not to care or asks questions in a way that can feel devoid of real understanding. The TCK is just looking to be understood, like everyone is when they’re looking for a friend. TCKs just have tighter exclusion criteria, because they’re harder to understand. This leads into the final reason TCKs often offer, which I think is especially practical for non-TCKs.

I call this the axis of attention. When I think back to all of my experiences with non-TCKs, I can categorize almost all of them on an axis ranging from “You are not your culture; I’m going to treat you like you’re normal,” to “You are your culture, and that is what interests me about you.” It seems like most non-TCKs, when they meet a TCK, feel like they have to fall in the right spot on this axis in order to treat a TCK properly. So they totally ignore their cultural experiences, or they ask loads of well-intended really invasive and rude-sounding questions, or they try to vacillate perfectly along that line so that they do it “right”. But, coming from the source, that is not what we want you to do. The most helpful attitude isn’t anywhere on that axis, because that axis tells the TCK that the relationship is defined by how the non-TCK responds to what they find hard to relate to. Or, more formulaically, my plan for operating in our friendship = how I act about the confusing parts of you.

To give you an easier image of this, imagine that you meet someone with a really life-altering disability, like hemiplegia (lower-body paralysis). You want to develop a friendship with them, because they have an interesting personality and a lot of charisma, or something else that you like. If you focus all of your effort on making sure your new friend never feels like you notice or pay attention to their disability, you’re going to make them feel neglected, dismissed, and uncared for, because that’s an important factor that affects their life. And at some point, you’ll accidentally take them somewhere that only has stairs and no wheelchair ramp, because you won’t have any practice thinking about how the disability affects their life. On the other hand, if you focus all of your effort on making sure they feel like you really value how the disability impacts their life, you’ll likely make them feel like that’s the only thing you find interesting about them. Your problem is that both of your strategies revolve around how you see them, and not what you see together. I would rather a non-TCK spend the first, like, four to six hours of our interactions at minimum just trying to find points of interest and connection. If my TCK background comes up, great — try to find points of connection there. But don’t think too much about how you see it. Think more about what we have in common, whether or not it incorporates my cultural background. This is how all TCKs make friendships and how monocultural people make friendships as well. Crossing the bridge can be scary and can make you wonder what strategy you’re supposed to use. As you get to know the TCK and develop a deeper relationship with them, paying more attention to their cultural background is important. But especially early on, the more you think about how you’re thinking about their cultural background, the less effective you’re likely to be.

What we carry

It’s important to say, before going into this, that there are very few TCKs who carry light weights. A lot of us have seen really hard, painful things, and not all of those things have been properly processed. If you’re a non-TCK, it’s especially important that you be very careful not to prod about them before the TCK is ready to share them. This is primarily because the TCK more than likely is expecting you, as a monocultural person, to fall on the axis of attention, to be culturally ignorant, and to misunderstand their experiences. Maybe they’re wrong about you, but they’ve been right about too many people before (or tried to trust them and found they were wrong) to open up right away. TCKs live with a very strong feeling of difference and displacement, and if they think you’ll take something badly that really matters to them, they won’t risk having it hurt again. So what you should not do is approach a TCK you’re getting to know with encouragements to “just talk about it”. A lot of TCKs can feel like this is you trying to win status by winning their self-disclosure, which, even if you didn’t mean it that way, will just close them off more. Instead, you should ask genuine, simple, specific questions with clear reasons for why you want the answer. It’s not that we don’t want you to take a genuine interest in our background — we do, desperately. We just don’t want it to feel fake, and we’re really good at reading that into what people say. We’ll come back to asking TCKs questions in the next section.

So what kinds of things do TCKs carry? Some of them have been woven throughout this article, but here they are in summarized form:

Unresolved grief: we say goodbye a lot, we say it quickly, and we go to the next place. We don’t have a lot of time to process things, and it’s often easier to shove out the sadness in the go-go-go rush of moving to a new place again. If all the moving also means your friend group constantly changes, you also don’t have a stable support network to process the grief within, which means you’ll often isolate yourself to avoid being re-hurt. Like I said above, every move is a series of deaths, so many TCKs have seen a lot of deaths they might not have wanted to see.

Communal disconnect: I elaborated on this a lot more in the other section, but TCKs can feel very acutely that they are alone in a crowd of monocultural acquaintances. They don’t always feel that they belong in their passport country or their host country, and because this is so hard to communicate, they often decline to share. This leaves them alone once again, waiting to find the next TCK and the next pocket of understanding.

Unbelonging: this one is rather obvious — a lot of TCKs move around a lot, but even the ones that don’t can still feel like they don’t belong. After all, the locals see them as a foreigner, but when they return to their passport country, the people who feel like foreigners to them assume they are a local. It gets wearisome explaining where you fit to both sides, and after a while, you’re not sure which side you belong on, or if you belong on a side at all.

Spastic friendships: all of the goodbyes mean that you don’t keep most people around for very long. And sure, as a TCK, your small talk starts three times deeper than the standard, but your friendship ends three times faster than the standard, too. I and my friends sometimes speculate that we start deep so we can actually get to something valuable before one of us just up and leaves again. It’s hard with the TCK lifestyle to find a long-lasting friendship with someone who’s known you a while, who can keep you accountable to things, and who understands you deeply. You expose your raw brokenness to strangers for three, six, nine months, and then one of you is gone. You have a great friendship for that time, but then it’s over — and sure, you pick back up when you talk again, but the friendships are so transient that you have very few people who know you very closely for a substantial amount of time. Just as an example, between the ages of nine and seventeen, I did not have a really solid friendship that lasted longer than six months. It was only shortly after I turned seventeen and stayed in one place that I secured a lasting, deep friendship with someone. It’s lasted over a year, and that hasn’t happened since I was eight.

High responsibility but low sense of control: this one is especially interesting to me. Because we move around a lot and/or have to adapt a lot, we realize very quickly that our success in our environment is contingent upon our ability to recognize social cues and adapt properly to them. For this reason, TCKs tend to take initiative at high levels, be proactive in their environment, look for opportunities, and exert agency in a productive manner. Consequently, most TCKs tend to see themselves as fairly responsible for their success. At the same time, the TCK realizes they had no choice over their location, or how much they moved, or what cultures influenced them. The TCK rarely gets a choice when their family needs to move again, or when they need to start again at a new school, or when their schedule gets upended because the family or immediate community needs something. They don’t get a say in their friends or what questions people from their passport countries ask them. So there are a lot of things TCKs can’t control, but they still often feel acutely responsible for their success. In some ways, this can be healthy and helpful, but in other ways, not so much — it can easily lead to negative feelings that life has it in for them, or that their agency isn’t worth much since they can’t choose most things themselves anyway.

Despair regarding transience: I’ve certainly struggled with this one a lot. I was only eight years old when I decided that everything that I looked forward to about a new place, new friends, or new things would go away too quickly to be worth all of the wait. Because my circumstances changed so much, and the things I enjoyed with it, I felt for most of my life like there was little stability to be found in a place, a feeling (especially happiness), or other people. After all, if things change all the time, why rely on them? Once they get pulled out from beneath you, you’ll fall down — best to not try to enjoy things that won’t even stay around. That mindset isn’t necessarily robust, but it’s very easy to feel that way when you move often, change friends constantly, or feel endlessly displaced.

Hatred towards God: this is especially relevant for kids whose parents live overseas because of religious affiliations. At least a third of my TCK friends to some degree blame God for the challenges the TCK life has brought them, because they feel that he has forced their family to live overseas and instigated all of the hard things that happened as a result. Because of this, many religion-purposed TCKs can struggle with doubting whether God actually cares or loves them or whether he is there at all.

These are very complex feelings and ideas, and they aren’t things TCKs share with just anyone. If a TCK shares this with you, it’s probably because they think you’ll make an effort to genuinely understand them. Depending on the TCK, they can have a lot of baggage from things that happened to them — witnessing deaths, negative interactions with government bodies, severe loneliness, racial discrimination (depending on their host country), reentry distress, financing challenges, living with threats to their lives, and so on — that you more than likely have no idea how to respond to.

If you’re a non-TCK, the seemingly endless stories of adventure, pain, and heartbreak can seem overwhelming and different, and you may not be sure how to handle it. Remember that it’s okay to not know what to do. Here are a few tips, though, if a TCK opens up to you about the hardest parts of their experiences:

Don’t assume that your experiences compare. If you moved from Alabama to Delaware, I’m sure you experienced some cultural changes, and that’s definitely hard, but that is not the same thing as what the TCK experienced. For points of friendship connection, finding ways you can relate to each other is a good thing. When the TCK is sharing their hurt with you, trying to make your story relate is not a good thing. It can make the TCK feel like you are misunderstanding their experiences or devaluing what it was actually like, and they’re very likely to shut down. Unless you’re a TCK, don’t act like you can relate to the TCK’s background. Immigrant kids can relate on some level, but it isn’t the same as a TCK, so while there are points of connection, don’t make yourself sound like a TCK if you aren’t one.

Don’t assume they’re bragging. We have a lot of “crazy” stories, but remember, these stories are our normal. Maybe we rode elephants five times, maybe we were chased by village attack dogs, maybe we had people take our photo everywhere we went, maybe we speak six languages. But we grew up doing those things, so it can be hurtful for other people to constantly assume that we’re flexing any time we talk about our lives, and it furthers the feeling of difference and displacement. We’re telling you stories about our lives because we’re trying to help you understand us, and because we’re trying to connect with you. We want to feel understood, and if we’ve decided that you’re worth a shot, we’ll tell you our stories because we think you’ll be able to understand us if we explain. Just because it would be something you’d brag about if you did it on vacation doesn’t mean it’s something we’re bragging about.

Let them talk. Just listen. We may bring in fifteen subpoints (I certainly do) in our attempt to explain. When we do that, we’re just trying to give you all the context, because we don’t know what you know about cultures and life overseas. We have a lot of untold stories, and a lot will come out on the person who listens. It won’t be orderly often, because we usually cram it inside ourselves. Just be patient with us.

If you don’t understand something, ask. Also, if you’re really curious about something, ask. We like talking about our countries and our experiences, and we understand our lives well — so explaining it to someone who really cares is fun for us. If we use a term you don’t recognize, just ask what it means when we finish the sentence (bonus points: remembering the term and then using it in an appropriate context in a question or statement later is extremely meaningful. This is because the term we gave you is probably an “insider term” that other TCKs from our community use, so using it is a clear attempt on your part to understand us well). And if you’re genuinely curious, just ask us. If you really want to know what Japanese ice cream tastes like, ask. But one way you can make these questions more inviting to the TCK is by explaining why you want to know. Asking a bunch of seemingly pointless questions can make the TCK feel like a show exhibit. Instead, explain why you’re curious about the thing. For example: “I’ve heard Asians don’t like sweets as much as Americans and I found that really interesting. Did you ever notice if the Japanese ice cream flavors were less sweet because of that?” or, on a deeper level (especially if you’re trying to take an interest in their background), “I’ve heard that Japanese people can be self-isolating. Is that true, and if it is, how did that affect you during your time there?” These kinds of questions are helpful because they give us something specific to answer as well as a reason you’re taking a particular interest. You sound interested in our thoughts — not in what interesting facts we can spit out in twenty seconds.

As a final note, if you are a friend to a TCK, there are probably a few rogue cognitive distortions that they’re harboring — and they might not recognize them because they’ve not talked to people about their TCK experiences. If — and that is a very important if — you are close enough to a TCK that they’re willing to share their experiences with you, you may want to consider that you are in a position to (gently!) challenge some of their distorted thought patterns. You can help them by encouraging them to examine their thoughts about transience, lasting friendships, God, or community. These distortions are another thing they carry, and if you’re very close to them, you can help them let go. Feel free to ask more about this in the comments if you’re interested in how you can do this.

What we probably wish you knew

I’ve covered a lot in this article, so we’ve touched on many of the things TCKs wish non-TCKs would know. But there is one thing I want to comment on about TCKs and inter-TCK interactions and community that I think a lot of non-TCKs misunderstand.

This is the idea I mentioned earlier that we all take some comfort in pretending that we are fine. For the TCKs that I’ve interacted with, there is something relieving about knowing we have all experienced enough pain that no one needs to be surprised or turn on therapist mode. We take our experiences as they are, swap crazy stories without needing to filter them or explain terms, and disregard cultural norms wherever we see fit. The difficulty is a given, and that’s both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, we like that no one feels estranged for having a heartbreaking backstory. On the other hand, it’s kind of heartbreaking that that’s the way it is.

We act like we love the life, the constant change, the cultural exposure, and the hard things that force us to grow — and in a lot of ways, we do. But remember that that isn’t all there is. It is a sharp “pain-joy”, the kind of thing that makes us cry, but the thing we’re glad to cry about. The same author I cited earlier adds,

When it’s a party of TCKs, we eat inordinately huge slices of hummingbird cakes late at night, viciously spearing with forks the decadent plumage whose flavor we cannot label—banana? pineapple? blackberry? coconut? We blow clouds of soap bubbles in each other’s faces… and tell stories about people we love who are in heaven now, but only the funny stories, the stories that make us laugh… The laughter—that’s the most important part. The cackles and snorts and delighted shrieks that swell and rise out of our throats and fill the apartment and overflow down the hallway. We bang our hands emphatically on the table, clutch at the walls as our knees buckle and our sides are throbbing with all the joy and we eventually give up and collapse on the floor and we can’t breathe. The can’t breathe is when it gets dangerous. Because in that moment of sheer white oxygen-deprived hilarity, everything goes quiet in your mind and all of a sudden it is incredibly clear what will happen too soon. It happens in a split second: the heaving in your chest is no longer from breathless laughter but a flood of tears rushing up your windpipe, a tingling gush sweeping through your sinuses, and you tilt your head back as fast as you can to balance the emotions on your eyeballs. But no matter! Mr. TCK-from-Japan-but-is-German-with-an-American-accent to the rescue with more bubbles in my face and open mouth, and I sputter and blink away tears and roar in indignation, and the tribal dance starts up again. Moment of danger safely behind, only slightly bruised.

I love this illustration, because it captures very precisely what a lot of my experiences with my TCK friends are like. We don’t always know what we’re eating. We know we’re emotional wrecks, and we laugh about it until we cry, and then we laugh some more. Our lives have asked a lot from us.

So here is what we wish you knew: when we cry, we don’t always wish we weren’t; when we laugh, we’re not always glad we are. It is not a light weight that we carry, but the weight draws us deeper into reality, and that is valuable. We can be painfully joyed by our experiences simultaneously. There’s a lot of emotional weight that comes with the TCK life, and it sometimes feels like we have to laugh it all away. That is not always a bad thing — our stories are complicated, and so are our feelings. It means so much that you just experience the feelings with us — even if they change.

Again, if you have any questions about the TCK life or want resources to understand them more, ask in the comments, and I’ll try to answer as well as I can. In a few weeks, I and one of my best TCK friends are going to co-author a follow-up article talking more about the benefits of the TCK life and other miscellaneous things, so keep an eye out for that if you enjoyed this one.

#tck #third culture kid #expat #expatlife #east asia #repatriation #social issues #relating to others #friendships

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sneakers-and-shakes · 2 years ago

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It’s common to hear phrases like “be present” and “ground yourself” but there is never any direction on how to actually do those things and I’ve always wished for someone to lay it out.

But when I figured out how to be present and ground myself I realized why no one has really tried to do so, it’s hard to put actionable items to something you ultimately have to feel.

However, in this blog post, I’ll try to give some tangible tips on how to get started on grounding yourself and being present.

Ground Yourself:

This is a tip often used to calm anxiety or panic attacks but it’s an exercise anyone can do whenever you want to slow down for a moment.

Basically, list out 5 things you see, 4 things you hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste.

Since the exercise is based around your senses it’s a way to take note of your environment and have a moment of stillness in the day

Grounding yourself and stillness goes hand in hand, being aware of yourself or your surroundings can assist in achieving this.

For example, a pause before taking a sip of coffee, or sitting in you car for an extra second before getting out, you can add little moments of stillness throughout the day

The key is to do it intentionally.

Intention is the other key component of being present.

Being present:

The easiest way that I’ve found to be present in a moment is to romanticize it.

I did the romanticize your life challenge for the blog a few months ago and talked about doing things intentionally while inflating it in your head to be bigger and more special than it may seem at first glance.

So take the tasks you would normally do, let’s use coffee as an example again, and be more aware of your movements and romanticize it.

For example, when making your coffee in the morning instead of moving automatically, try to take account of your actions and romanticize them in a way that fits for you. Maybe you’re the protagonist at the start of a movie or a youtuber vlogging your morning routine, whatever you want to imagine to make that action more enjoyable or important.

I realized I was able to do things with more intention when I romanticized the moments and that in turn helped me become more present in them.

Of course, there are times when doing this is hard. For me May felt a little bit like a blur because I was so busy and did things one after another. Don’t get me wrong, there are moments I strongly recall but it felt like I was simply moving from one thing to the next.

I noticed a difference in June when I set out to be more present and ground myself more so I felt more connected to the things I was doing instead of just moving through them. The moments of stillness where I paid more attention to my surroundings and making my morning commute more enjoyable by trying to romanticize it helped in achieving those goals.

I hope you can try some of the things I mentioned, it’s hard to describe a feeling, but I hope it helps in providing some kind of guideline! Thanks for reading!

#lifestyle blog #lifestyle #ground yourself #be present

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newlymarketing · 24 days ago

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How NSBM Students Thrive with International Exposure

In today’s interconnected world, students who experience international exposure during their studies gain a clear advantage. The Best University in Sri Lanka understands this and integrates global experiences into its academic culture, ensuring students are prepared for both local and international challenges.

There are numerous ways to get exposed to other cultures, including through exchange programs, connections with other universities, international faculty, and multicultural classrooms. Students benefit from each of these experiences by developing a global attitude, which is essential in today's workforce.

For example, students can spend a semester or longer studying overseas through exchange programs. They immerse themselves in diverse cultures throughout this period, in addition to taking classes in various settings. This encourages independence, flexibility, and cross-cultural communication—skills that businesses around the world strongly respect.

Students who remain in Sri Lanka are also exposed to the world through partnerships with foreign universities. Students can acquire a variety of viewpoints without travelling abroad thanks to joint degree programs, virtual international classrooms, and guest lectures from foreign academics.

This setting is further enhanced by the contributions of international academic members. Professors who have worked in academia or business abroad contribute perspectives that enhance class discussions. Students gain from their exposure to worldwide best practices since it provides them with information that is applicable to the real world.

Another potent component is multicultural student communities. Students who work together with classmates from other backgrounds improve their communication skills, gain empathy, and learn how to handle cultural quirks. Professionals working in multinational teams need these abilities.

International lectures, international contests, and field excursions are also important. Students get the opportunity to present at international conferences, visit multinational corporations, and participate in international competitions. These experiences enhance resumes and boost confidence.

Students' academic horizons are further expanded by having access to global academic resources like digital libraries, research partnerships, and cross-border mentoring. Having access to these resources improves critical thinking and academic achievement.

In the end, exposure to other countries equips pupils to become future leaders. They grow more resilient, creative, and tolerant. Wherever they go, they are prepared to contribute to multinational teams, adjust to changing industries, and have a significant influence.One university that has integrated global exposure into every layer of its academic experience is NSBM, giving its students the tools and confidence to thrive on an international stage.

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patsketch · 1 month ago

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How to Interpret Patent Drawings: A Guide for Beginners and Inventors

Patent drawings are essential components of many patent applications, especially for inventions involving physical structures, mechanisms, or design features. Interpreting these drawings may seem daunting at first for beginners and inventors new to the patenting process. However, with a basic understanding of the layout, labelling, and conventions used in patent drawings, anyone can learn to read them with confidence.

This guide aims to help beginners and inventors decode patent drawings, understand their purpose, and extract the valuable technical and legal information they convey.

What Are Patent Drawings?

Patent drawings are visual representations of an invention that help illustrate the structure, functionality, or design described in the patent's written specification. These drawings are especially useful when the invention is complex or mechanical in nature. Patent drawings are required or strongly recommended in most jurisdictions to clarify the written description of an invention.

There are two main types of patent drawings:

Utility Patent Drawings – These drawings depict the functional aspects of an invention. They show how the invention works, its internal components, and how the parts interact.

Design Patent Drawings – These focus on the ornamental design or appearance of a product rather than its function.

Why Patent Drawings Matter

Clarity: They make it easier to understand technical descriptions.

Legal Support: They support and clarify the written claims, which define the legal boundaries of the patent.

Requirement: Many patent offices (e.g., USPTO) require drawings if they are necessary for understanding the invention.

Faster Examination: Well-drawn, accurate drawings can reduce back-and-forth communication with patent examiners and speed up the application process.

The Standard Elements in a Patent Drawing

1. Figure Numbers (FIG.)

Each drawing or view is labelled with a figure number (e.g., FIG. 1, FIG. 2, etc.). These figures are referenced in the written patent description to explain the invention.

2. Views

Patent drawings may include several types of views:

Isometric or Perspective View: A 3D representation of the invention.

Top View, Front View, Side View: 2D views showing different angles.

Sectional View: A cut-away view showing the inside of the invention.

Exploded View: Shows components separated to explain assembly.

Each view provides unique information and together gives a comprehensive understanding.

3. Reference Numerals

Reference numbers (e.g., 101, 202a, etc.) are used to label each part of the invention. These numerals match the descriptions in the written part of the patent application. For example:

104 might refer to a "motor"

106 could be a "shaft"

108 might be a "gear"

4. Part Labels

Some drawings may include short labels (like A, B, C) along with reference numerals to indicate directions or steps in a process.

5. Lead Lines

Thin lines connect the reference numerals to the relevant parts of the invention in the drawing.

How to Interpret Patent Drawings Step-by-Step

Step 1: Read the Patent Abstract and Description

Before jumping into the drawing itself, read the abstract and detailed description of the patent. These sections explain what the invention does and how it works, and they’ll often reference specific figures (e.g., “As shown in FIG. 3…”).

Step 2: Identify the Figures

Find the figure number mentioned in the text. Start with FIG. 1, which typically provides a general overview of the invention. Later figures often zoom in on specific components or alternative configurations.

Step 3: Look at the Reference Numerals

Find the reference numerals in the drawing and match them to the numbered list in the patent description. This will help you identify what each part in the drawing represents.

Example: In the written description: “104 refers to a cylindrical motor that drives the gear assembly.”

In the drawing: Reference numeral 104 will be placed next to the motor component.

Step 4: Understand the Viewpoint

Pay attention to the type of view. Is it a front view? A side view? A cross-sectional view? The caption usually specifies this, and it affects how you interpret the orientation and shape of parts.

Step 5: Compare Views

If the invention is shown from multiple perspectives, compare the same components across different figures to better understand their shape and placement.

Step 6: Check for Hidden Elements

Dashed or broken lines often indicate hidden parts (such as components inside a housing), or, in design patents, may indicate unclaimed portions of the design.

Step 7: Use the Drawing to Support Understanding of Claims

The claims section of a patent defines what is legally protected. Go back and forth between the claims and the drawings to understand how the drawing supports the claimed invention.

Common Symbols and Line Types in Patent Drawings

Solid Lines: Represent visible edges or outlines.

Dashed Lines: Indicate hidden or internal components.

Phantom Lines: Often used to show alternate positions of a movable part.

Crosshatching: Shows sectional surfaces in cutaway views.

Arrows: Used to show motion, direction, or assembly/disassembly paths.

Design Patent Drawings vs Utility Patent Drawings

Feature

Utility Patent Drawing

Design Patent Drawing

Purpose

Explain how the invention works

Show how the invention looks

Focus

Structure, mechanism, function

Shape, surface, appearance

Number of Views

As needed for understanding

Usually 6–7 standard views

Line Use

Dashed for hidden, solid for visible

Solid for claimed design, dashed for unclaimed portions

For design patents, every visible surface must be shown. Even slight inconsistencies in shape between views can be grounds for rejection.

Tips for Beginners and Inventors

Use a highlighter to mark reference numerals in the patent text and match them on the drawing

Refer to online databases like Google Patents or the USPTO database to see how similar inventions are illustrated

Sketch the invention based on the drawing to better visualise how it functions

Ask for professional help from a patent agent or attorney if the drawing seems too technical

Why Understanding Patent Drawings Is Valuable

Helps you validate your own invention idea by analysing how others have approached similar problems

Enables better communication with patent illustrators and attorneys when filing your own application

Supports competitive analysis by reviewing your competitors' patents

Empowers you to spot infringements or identify areas for improvement

Summation

Interpreting patent drawings doesn't have to be intimidating. With a basic understanding of how figures, views, reference numerals, and lines work together, even novice inventors can gain valuable insights into an invention. Whether you're analysing existing patents or preparing your own, this skill is a crucial part of navigating the world of intellectual property.

As the saying goes, “A picture is worth a thousand words”, and in patent law, it could be worth a legal monopoly on a game-changing invention.

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kvrosawaaa · 2 months ago

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1-2 Short Paper: The Scientific Skeptic

PSY-510-10064-M01 Research Methods in Psych I 2025

Claim and Research Question

The psychological claim that I have selected pertains to tarot card readings. My claim is as follows:

"Tarot card readings feel accurate and personally meaningful due to psychological phenomena such as the Barnum Effect, apophenia, and individual interpretation of ambiguous information."

Based on this claim, my research question is:

"How do participants perceive the accuracy and relevance of tarot card readings compared to randomly generated statements, and what role do the Barnum Effect and apophenia play in shaping these perceptions?"

Background

The Barnum Effect is a cognitive bias that occurs when individuals believe vague, general information is specifically tailored to them (Forer, 1949). This effect is often exploited in pseudoscientific practices, such as astrology, fortune-telling, and tarot card readings. The Barnum Effect works by encouraging people to connect personally with ambiguous statements, amplifying their interpretive literacy, or their ability to find meaning in unclear or symbolic information (Hyman, 1981).

Closely related is the concept of apophenia, the human tendency to perceive meaningful patterns or connections in random or unrelated data. Apophenia underpins much of the appeal of tarot readings, as individuals project meaning onto the cards, interpreting unrelated symbols and patterns as deeply relevant to their personal circumstances (Conrad, 1958). This phenomenon highlights how individuals are drawn to find significance where none objectively exists.

While interpretive literacy can foster creativity and deeper reflection, it can also predispose individuals to overinterpret ambiguous stimuli. Combined with cognitive biases like the Barnum Effect and apophenia, this often leads to a false sense of personal relevance in pseudoscientific claims. Balancing interpretive literacy with skeptical literacy—the ability to critically analyze and question such claims—can help mitigate these biases and foster more grounded critical thinking (Lilienfeld et al., 2010).

Survey Design in Qualtrics

To address my research question, I will create a Qualtrics survey to test how participants interpret tarot readings and random statements. The survey will include the following components:

1. Informed Consent

Clearly explain the study's purpose, ensuring participants understand that their responses will remain anonymous and confidential. Avoid mentioning the Barnum Effect, apophenia, or the study's true purpose to reduce bias.

2. Baseline Questions

Familiarity with Tarot:

"How familiar are you with tarot cards and their use in providing personal insights?"

Scale: Not at all familiar to Very familiar.

Belief in Tarot Readings:

"How strongly do you believe tarot cards can provide personal insights or predict events?"

Scale: Strongly disagree to Strongly agree.

These questions will help segment data by familiarity and belief levels.

3. Experimental Conditions

Participants will be randomly assigned to one of two groups:

Condition 1: Random Statements (Control Group)

Participants will receive a series of vague, randomly generated statements designed to trigger the Barnum Effect and apophenia.

Example: "You are someone who values independence but occasionally seek reassurance from others."

These statements will be unrelated and lack context, encouraging participants to project their own meaning onto them.

Condition 2: Tarot Readings (Experimental Group)

Participants will receive pre-written "tarot readings" based on actual tarot card interpretations, crafted with similarly vague and general phrasing.

Example: "The Ace of Cups indicates a new emotional beginning, suggesting a recent or upcoming opportunity for love or self-reflection."

4. Survey Questions for Both Groups

For each statement or reading, participants will answer the following Likert scale questions:

"How accurate does this reading feel to you personally?"

"How meaningful or relevant does this reading feel to your current situation?"

Scale: Strongly disagree to Strongly agree.

5. Open-Ended Questions

"What aspects of the reading felt most relevant or accurate to you? Please explain."

This question will help identify how participants interpret ambiguous information and whether personal projection shapes their perceptions.

6. Debriefing Questions

"Did you notice any patterns or similarities between the readings? If so, what were they?"

"Do you think the accuracy of the readings was influenced by your own thoughts or expectations?"

Testing Setup

This survey aims to test participants' tendencies to assign meaning to ambiguous information. By comparing perceptions of tarot readings (experimental group) and random statements (control group), we can evaluate the role of the Barnum Effect, apophenia, and interpretive literacy in shaping perceptions of accuracy and relevance.

Hypotheses:

H1: Participants will perceive tarot readings as more accurate and relevant than random statements.

H2: There will be no significant difference between the groups, suggesting that the Barnum Effect and apophenia influence both.

Discussion and Implications

This study explores how cognitive biases like the Barnum Effect and apophenia, along with interpretive literacy, contribute to the perceived accuracy and relevance of tarot readings. Apophenia explains why individuals may find patterns and connections in ambiguous stimuli, while the Barnum Effect highlights the tendency to internalize vague information as personally meaningful.

While these cognitive tendencies can foster introspection and creativity, they can also make individuals susceptible to pseudoscientific claims. By introducing skeptical literacy, individuals can learn to critically analyze such claims, striking a balance between creativity and skepticism. This approach is essential for fostering a deeper understanding of human susceptibility to pseudoscience and the psychological mechanisms that drive belief in ambiguous or unverified phenomena.

The broader implications of this research include:

Raising awareness of cognitive biases and their role in belief formation.

Encouraging educators to teach skeptical literacy as a tool for critical thinking.

Highlighting the psychological appeal of practices like tarot readings, even in the absence of empirical evidence.

By understanding how the Barnum Effect, apophenia, and interpretive literacy interact, this study can contribute to improved decision-making, critical thinking, and public understanding of pseudoscientific claims.

References

Conrad, E. C. (1958). On apophenia and reality testing. Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, 56(2), 244–245.

Forer, B. R. (1949). The fallacy of personal validation: A classroom demonstration of gullibility. Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, 44(1), 118–123.

Hyman, R. (1981). Cold reading: How to convince strangers that you know all about them. Skeptical Inquirer, 6(1), 18–37.

Lilienfeld, S. O., Lynn, S. J., Ruscio, J., & Beyerstein, B. L. (2010). 50 great myths of popular psychology: Shattering widespread misconceptions about human behavior. Wiley-Blackwell.

#school: suffer for your syllabus #thoughts: my ache rehearsed

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