#sucks to be him but that's life

[sparkys-ec-corner]

sometimes i think about Full Moon Laboratory as the amostia song we will never get

[lineffability]

sometimes I see people calling Aziraphale selfish in an accusatory way, as if it's a flaw that needs to be smoothed out, as if it isn't a trait that is at once defiant and emancipating, as if his selfishness isn't mostly wielded in an empowering and kind way, as if it's categorically bad to want things for yourself, to enjoy them, to have and keep them, as if selfish isn't the most revolutionary thing an angel can be

[chrissy-kaos]

Awww my switch died.. looks like you gotta catch me instead of some Pokémon 😜

[moon7jay]

MINORS DNI

This is exactly the position he'll be in when he face times you to ask you for sex. Like he'd be so horny, so desperate, just sliding his sweats down to his thighs, making enough space for him to feed his dick out while he maintains eye contact with you through the screen.

"open your legs baby, show me your pretty little pussy" he'd groan, fisting his leaking cock, his own actions making him sigh in pleasure. When you slip your nightgown down your body and sit completely naked in front of him, his moans would reach a fever pitch. "God I wish you were here baby I need to fuck that tight little cunt-fuck-im so hard for you"

"are you wet? do u want this dick baby? then fuck yourself faster, fuck your fingers like it's my cock, I wanna hear how wet that pussy is for me" He'd grunt, guiding you to masturbate with him on call, watching your moaning and writhing body with lustful eyes. He'd be jerking off his cock furiously, tugging on it harshly upon hearing the squelching sounds that come from your pussy through the screen. His mouth getting parched cuz of how bad he wants to bury himself in your wet heat.

"fuck baby just like that, you're gonna make me fucking cum" His grunts of pleasure would push you over the edge and he'd come soon after, spilling all over his thighs and sweats, smiling at you lazily through the screen as he pants.

[shepscapades]

Doc: I have impossibly high standards.

Xisuma: [exists]

Doc, frantically texting Tango: Help, he's meeting all of my standards!

He never quite addresses what his standards are and wether or not xisuma is meeting them

[koipalm]

liushennnn in my attendant sy au (read right to left)

notes on this au:

sy transmigrates into a new body when sqq fights the system trying to force him out of his body. sqq is livid and decides to take sy as his retainer/secretary/assistant, forcing him to do most of the accounting & administrative work on qing jing peak and work for sqq for free while also helping sqq avoid his tragic fate by telling him spoilers and secrets about the world that sy remembers. sy has no golden core and no cultivation, and cant wield a spiritual sword or fight. sy has no documents, no money, and no prospects. sqq basically provides everything for him & can also take it away. sy moves into the other room in the bamboo house and cleans and organizes as well, although his own room is a mess. sqq never makes it clear what sy's position on the peak is, so all of the disciples follow his orders in fear of disobeying sqq. sy is basically 2nd to sqq, although he doesnt see it that way; he sees himself as sqq's overworked servant. he resents sqq for his control over sy's life, but he's terrified of being kicked out.

sqq takes sy to the peak lord meetings as well, using sy to carry documents, serve tea, and to give him information about anything that might be useful to sqq if it comes up during the meeting. sy also often acts as a messenger for sqq between peaks. he doesnt get much interaction outside of senior disciples and the other peak lords.

since sy's hands are usually full with documents, accounting books, talisman paper, & anything else sqq wants him to carry, sy can't use his fan to hide his face as much. instead he uses his hair & his glasses. his skin is sallow & he often misses meals from running around doing sqq's errands, so he always seems tired. clothes he wears are simple & loose, either slip on or buttoned up. he dislikes loud & bright patterns bc he doesn't want to stand out, but sometimes has no choice bc sqq buys his clothes. sqq will often make him wear more extravagant patterns, even when it makes sy nervous about attracting attention.

since sy seemed to appear out of nowhere to the other sect members, sy is very worried about acting too suspicious and getting kicked out. he copies sqq as much as possible to acclimate to the world and seem unphased & elegant.

sy is very interested in the other peak lords since he interacts with them often, especially liu qingge. liu qingge often catches him staring, but sy tries not to interact with anyone more than he has to. liu qingge usually sees him hiding behind sqq as a buffer. if sy does speak, he does it low & quiet, & if behind his fan if possible.

sy looks like his old body & has long black hair, similarly styled to sqq by his insistence. sy dislikes this.

sqq calls sy "a-yuan" bc sy doesnt like it. sy doesnt like telling people his name though bc it makes ppl think theyre related, which he also doesnt like, so he doesnt stop sqq from indroducing sy as "a-yuan". this makes it very difficult for other ppl to know what to call sy in fear of being too familiar

sy does meet sqh earlier in this au, and he helps him as much as he can get away with behind sqq's back. since sy is less bound by the system than sqh is, sqh sometimes "sponsors" sy to do things he himself cant do.

sy calls sqq the equivalent of "sir".

[ollyrewind]

The Hanged Man is the card that suggests ultimate surrender, sacrifice, or being suspended in time. Also known as traitor.

[marisatomay]

tom brady is so funny because he could have retired last season at a nice height while everyone in sports was out there sucking his dick calling him the GOAT but nooooooooooo he had to throw a fit and renege on his retirement to play one more season because some sports journalist on twitter broke that he was retiring before he could say it himself and now look at him. his hot supermodel wife left him, he had a losing record, lost the wildcard game, choked so badly in his final game in front of tom cruise that cruise left early, everyone knows he’s a little bitch, his team hates him, gronk already retired, and he’s stuck announcing his retirement via a front facing direct to camera video on twitter. the eagles are back in the super bowl. couldn’t have scripted it better myself. mwah.

[stiffyck]

I am In trouble with myself again

[noxious-fennec]

A redraw of an old thing because exam season is the only time i get creative energy ig

[panaceatthedisco]

Charles was actually so right we he told the Night Nurse that she didn't know anything about them.

She tries to prove him wrong by showing him that she knows his past, and more specifically, his trauma. She tries using that move on Kashi too. But the thing is, people are so much more than their pain, but as someone whose work is solely with dead children who were unable to pass on, I doubt she understands that.

The Night Nurse only begins to actually know who the boys are as people and what motivates them when she looks into Charles' mind the second time, to see the beginning of his greatest joys. She starts tearing up Charles' memories of Edwin and I wouldn't be surprised if that was the first time she'd seen one of the kids she was charged to find happy.

[charlotte-of-wales]

A statement from Buckingham Palace:

During The King's recent hospital procedure for benign prostate enlargement, a separate issue of concern was noted. Subsequent diagnostic tests have identified a form of cancer.

His Majesty has today commenced a schedule of regular treatments, during which time he has been advised by doctors to postpone public-facing duties.

Throughout this period, His Majesty will continue to undertake State business and official paperwork as usual.

The King is grateful to his medical team for their swift intervention, which was made possible thanks to his recent hospital procedure. He remains wholly positive about his treatment and looks forward to returning to full public duty as soon as possible.

His Majesty has chosen to share his diagnosis to prevent speculation and in the hope it may assist public understanding for all those around the world who are affected by cancer.

[hecksupremechips]

Mizuki and Date though like. Imagine being 8 and your parents are filthy rich and going through a bad divorce. Your mom treats you like shit, lashing out at you, hitting you, saying she wishes you were never born all because you were behaving like a child. Your dad is more comforting, but he doesn’t do anything to stop the abuse and he spends his time invested in a completely different family, a girl who you love and look up to but he loves her more than you and it fucking shows. Then your dads new friend, some fucking bachelor in his late 20s, is just like "wow you guys are the worst fucking parents ive ever seen" and next thing you know your dad is sending you off to live with him. And it’s just a massive kick in the head cuz you go from a rich lifestyle to living in some really shitty tiny ass apartment with this guy who’s clearly never been around a child in his entire life and he doesn’t know how to behave and does a really bad job of censoring himself like he has a bunch of dirty magazines that he can’t hide very well cuz it’s literally a studio apartment and also he talks to himself sometimes, it’s really weird. He doesn’t even have the slightest clue what he’s doing

And he’s the best parent you’ve ever had

Because fuck, it all really hurts. You have to cope with having never received any love from anyone, and with the fact that your parents clearly don’t want you and can’t even be bothered to send you with anyone even kinda responsible. And this guy has a scary job with crazy hours and you don’t know anything about him and neither does he. But still, he never once hits you or tells you you’re not allowed to cry. He just gives you space and doesn’t push you to feel any sort of way about him. And sometimes, he’s even kind. He makes you some stew, even though it’s a bit chunky. He lets you sleep in the bed and takes the couch for himself, even though he complains about the massive back pain he’d never trade his spot for a second. He pays attention to events at your school and gives you your favorite stuffed animal when you make good grades, even though you called it ugly. He gets worried sick when you come home with bruises and puts on a goofy voice and trains you to defend yourself and you develop some highly deadly skills and even though it’s really abnormal, he buys you a bench press so you can get stronger. There’s this distance there, and you feel really weird caring about someone who you aren’t related to, but you find yourself wishing it was meant to be like this all along, that maybe, he’s secretly your real dad and he loves you like his real daughter

And when you say "I’m back" he says "welcome home"

[ghostedrider]

you said you kill ppl? haha wooow thats crazy wooooaawww

[thomewt]

i was watching jimmys new video and

I HATE HIM . I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HA

[obsessedwithstarwars]

Danny makes jokes out of anyone finding out ghosts are real.

But only when it’s done through “accidental summonings”. In all fairness, if he hadn’t become a ghost at 14, he probably would have fuc-messed around with a ouija board too. So he can’t really blame them when the poor unfortunate souls happen to guess the correct phrase.

(And before you ask, it’s the ghostbusters theme song because of course it is.)

Instead of giving his victims summoners a heart attack, he decides to go for a more… Matrix approach. Incorporate a little humor into an otherwise terrifying experience.

Rather than a red pill and a blue pill though, he gives out a bright green glowing pill and piece of candy. He definitely gets annoyed more people don’t go for the candy. Just because it’s clearly the wrong answer doesn’t mean you should miss the opportunity for a delicious snack!