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#swear ive read this in a fic before
mattmaesonnatural · 1 year
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What’s your favorite italian food?  — Jibcon11 February 26th 2023
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crybaby-bkg · 1 year
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I know I've talked about bull and bear hybrid Bakugou, but has anyone ever talked about lion hybrid Bakugou???? I thought about this concept when I was still half asleep this morning but like,,,,
lion hybrid bakugou with his big ole head and even bigger mane of hair, all soft, colored like the sand you'd dig your toes into at the beach. he has a little scruff on his chin, but he never grows it out because he hates the upkeep of it.
he's always loud, growly yawns whenever you see him, his canines sharp and pointy when he opens his maw wide enough for you to peek in. he's so big and soft where it matters, lazes around all day everyday, and gets these big bursts of energy at the most random of moments. he's basically an overgrown cat basically
omg and he has this complex where he's just sooo high and mighty, like he's some king meant to be worshipped. but all you have to do is kiss his cheeks and rub a hand through his hair when he lays his big dumb head in your lap, and he's purring up a storm.
and and and lion hybrid bakugou whose tongue can feel so rough when he's feeling lazy about it, but somehow knows how to work it just right whenever he wants to lounge between your legs. gets so huffy and growly when you mumble that you can't cum anymore, just nudges your thighs a little wider with his shoulder as he nuzzles his nose against your mound. doesn't care to hear any of your complaining, because he's still eating and doesn't intend on finishing until he's ready.
omg and and lion hybrid bakugou whose favorite position is, of course, doggy style. but only because he gets to wrap your little dainty neck up in his powerful jaws and pin you there, likes how you whimper and shiver but go limp either way because you trust him with your life. he pins your arms beside your head and grunts so loud into your nape when he finally sinks his cock inside of you. he practically lays flat on top of you, just rutting his hips against your ass over and over until he knots you.
which is his favorite part because you two get to just lay there for what feel like hours, and you keep coming intermitally because he can't help but rut his hips a few more times, and hiss at the way his knot tugs at your clenching lips. sigh just lion hybrid bakugou who looks so mean and intimidating but he just loves you so much and can't get enough of you
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ritzcuit · 29 days
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actually sso baffling to me that there are still somehow dhurkedatz fics i havent read yet
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monstertsunami · 2 years
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soul eater fandom needs to re-evaluate how they view & characterize stein bc it says a LOT abt what u think abt schizospec ppl
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todayisafridaynight · 11 months
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at this point i just dont know how dreaming works
#snap chats#this sounds depressing as hell no its not im just CONFUSED#i posted bout daigo and mine for like. months everyday 24/7#and in that time ive had one Utterly Peculiar dream with daigo in it but like. on a technicality#and ive never had a dream with mine yeah. probably for the better#but i swear last night i had a dream where i was watching something with tsutsumi and nakai in it#make it make sense brain. do you know ill be mentally unwell if i see daigo or mine in my dreams.#trying so hard to remember what it was but its been lost to the subconscious#im gonna blame it partially on me having read those arasawa fics right before bed#i mean it was objectively not arakawa and jo in my dream but yk. same face#i just wanna remember what it was even about... mightve been a comedy of sorts...#OH YEAH SINCE I MENTIONED THOSE FICS im gonna throw up they were great#ooohhh i love sad/tragic fics oooh the guilt on both sides was so real and potent#im gonna think of jo helping masato walk until i die#the vision of jo in the rain with masato’s burned in my brain actually i might. draw it if you will#but im going to the mall in a hot hour so. hm. we’ll see#maybe i’ll do it before i leave for the mall... shouldnt take long...#not unless i also wanna include a shot of arakawa and turn this into a two-panel comic ig....#IDK POINT IS everyone should read those fics. both sides theyre so good#there is no happy thought and if there is its incredibly fleeting and im injecting it right into my veins#these tags are damn everywhere but i treat tumblr like a Blog blog so im updatinng everyone on everything#plus its related ok. im valid.#alright im gonna snake to my computer and crank out that drawing then#mall wont open for another two hours anyway and i dont wanna be a mout breather standin at the door as it opens so
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theythemmer · 3 months
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for years my friends have tried to get me back into minecraft and idk how to explain to them that after tosoth the game will never be the same . it’s been A DECADE and this fic still rules over my brain
#and don’t even TALK about snow angels around me i’ll cry blood and vomit tears#that fic gave me SO many trust issues i hve TO THIS DAY#and i KNOW ive ranted about this before but IT GENUINELY TRAUMATISED ME#but i was at one of the lowest points of my life and decided fuck it. i’m gonna read a long fic. i’m usually a max 25k person but i was like#nah let’s get invested in this one. good ol erisol human au. what could go wrong#oh dear reader it turns out that there was something that could go wrong#because at tht time i was an avid ff net user and there are no warnings there#especially not for major character death.#so i’m so invested in this fic#got a few chapters left. and then i start a chapter i swear ive read before in a one shot#and i’m over the MOON bc i know how this ends. they get engaged! so i’m SO fkn happy#and then. all alone in the snow of their front yard. eridans heart gives out. and he’s gone.#as a very traumatised teen who was dependant on happy endings to make me feel like life was worth living#i have never felt heartbreak and betrayal like that. only other thing that ever made me feel that much was my really messy breakup w da loml#i didnt sleep for a week. i was constantly sobbing and breaking down at school#reading about sollux going through their minecraft world and i just#yeah.#haven’t been able to make pancakes since too. used to be the thing i was best at#since then pancakes minecraft and snow angels are forever tainted#absolutely INCREDIBLE fic but i do Not do MCD or sad endings#and i was like being horrifically abused going thru hormonal conversion therapy to ‘fix’ my nonexistent sex drive#whilst dealing with r/pe accusations simultaneously . as a fkn 16 year old baby trans gay ace#so i was going thru it and when i tell you my ENTIRE mental state was depending on the dopamine i got from fan fictions w endings that#gave me hope my story wasn’t gonna end there. for them to struggle for so long to find true happiness within eachother#to them being torn apart by the cruel hand of death#bro i was inconsolable for so long . i still am and im almost 26 LMFAO#know it seems so silly to be so worked up over this but i can’t articulate how much my undiagnosed autistic bpd cptsd ridden self depended#on these fics to emotionally regulate#OBV THIS IS NOTHING AGAINST THE AUTHOR OR THE FIC I WAS JUST YOUNG AND TRAUMATISED AND COPING UNHEALTHILY#but i will never be able to play minecraft happily ever again
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bsaka7 · 2 years
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🤗
🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?
i guess the big thing is: make it easy to write. i don't think writing itself is easy, per se, but this is the philosophy i have. the biggest thing is:
if you are excited about the idea, write it!! doesn't matter if it's been done before. doesn't matter if you think someone else would do it better. if you are excited about the fic you are writing, it'll be a lot easier to keep working on it.
in terms of everything else:
getting started is hard! the beginning doesn't have to be perfect (and you can always go back). just jump in!!!
writing what you know can help. not necessarily literally - i mean, have i ridden a dragon? no. but i do a lot of thinking: okay, here's how i felt in this situation. i think this is the same as [character] would feel in that situation. and that helps me get through emotional bits -- pulling feelings and thoughts from my own life and putting them in a totally different context. but for me, having that bit of personal experience in there makes me feel a lot more confident about what i am working on. and that kernel of truth helps me just. go further and further afield.
i like outlining but not everyone does -- i think just knowing WHERE you are going with your fic (even if it changes) helps to get to the end
make writing routine. i usually write after dinner. if i don't write, then i read. but that time/space is there :). but at the same time, be willing to give writing space to breathe and for you to do other things...or if you feel the pull to write some random time, let it happen!
write while comfortable!!! in bed...in a comfy chair....listening to music (or not!). if it doesn't come it doesn't come, but for me, writing fic is supposed to be fun and relaxing so i should be feeling relaxed (rn i am on the couch!) :)
don't be afraid to just share or post!! if you're unfinished, comments might push you along. i refuse to get caught up in a swirl of doubt before something is posting. if you're done or ready, just do it!!
if you're not having fun, and you don't see yourself having fun with it in the future, it's okay to abandon it and write something else. this should be fun!!!
ok this one is maybe harder because i don't know how i did it but it is one of THE most important parts of writing for me:
find a friend and/or a community you can talk about what you're working on with!! for me, it is so important to be able to complain about how writing is going, share snippets i like, ask advice about plot. literally writing a fic and knowing there's something in there my FRIEND will like makes me really happy. reading and sharing fic with my friends is literally so much fun and it makes me so much more comfortable about writing "weird" stuff!!
i have no idea if any of this is remotely helpful and i'll probably think of more later but hopefully something resonates at least a little?! you can always come to my ask or dms or whatever to share fic and ideas and stuff!! always happy to hear :). if anyone else has stuff to add, please do!!
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guest-1-2-3 · 9 months
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When people ask me “do you like to read” and I’m like “Oh yeah definitely! I read every day!” but then they ask me for BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS and I desperately try to remember the last physical book i read
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hysteria-things · 3 months
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ive never requested anything ever so..
but ive read everything you've wrote and oml your writing is heaven sent 🙏
is there any possible way you could do something kinda like the trope u had w the fic zipper u wrote where the reader is nates sister and nate catches chris and reader doing it or almost doing it?
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SECRET'S OUT (part one)
read part two here
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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: soft dom!chris x reader
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you are the little sister of nate doe, who so happens to be best friends with chris sturniolo; who so happens to be the boy you’ve been hooking up with behind his back for weeks.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SMUT, fluff, making out, swearing, p in v, praising, getting caught
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 872
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: thank you anon for the kind words🥹
decided to combine these two requests! hope i did you guys justice :)
i’ve been getting a handful of chris requests which is why i’ve been posting about him more, but matt will make an appearance soon i promise🙏
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you tap the contact on your phone, acting like you’re calling your crush for the first time. you bite your lip and smile while bringing it up to your ear.
the person on the other line picks up after two rings. “hello?”
“hey!” you say with excitement.
chris chuckles through the phone. you almost melt at the sound. “hi, baby.”
the heart in your chest flutters. everybody on the planet knows chris cannot stand that nickname, but he always makes you an exception.
you walk over to the bed and lay on your side, your unoccupied hand rests on your cheek.
“soooo…” you drag out. “nate’s out right now…”
“uh huh.” chris says with amusement, knowing exactly what you want.
you clear your throat and get straight to the point. “come over, pretty boy.”
chris’s dick twitches in his pants. “give me twenty minutes.”
“make it ten,” you say before disconnecting the call.
what do you know? chris comes marching into your room about ten minutes later. the door must’ve been unlocked.
he smiles down at you — since you’re so much shorter. you stand on your tippy toes to give him a peck on the lips.
a peck turns into two pecks. then three. then to his tongue exploring your mouth.
the smacking of your guys’ lips echoes through the room as chris backs you up to your bed. when the back of your knees hit the frame, you fall backward onto the mattress. the kiss is still intact. nothing could be able to stop you now.
“y/n? are you home?” nate’s voice shouts from down the hall.
okay, maybe one thing can stop you.
chris immediately pulls away to scramble to his feet. it’s too late to shove him somewhere since nate’s footsteps eventually reach the door to open it.
chris stands like a statue next to the door. luckily, he’s on the side where the door blocks him from your brother’s view.
“i thought you already left?” you say breathlessly, sitting up to make yourself look less suspicious.
“i did, but i came back to grab something.” he explains, looking around your room. “are you good? do you need anything while i’m out?”
“no, i’m good. thanks though!” you reply enthusiastically.
he gives you a look of disgust before shutting the door and making his way down the hallway. chris sniggers at you.
“shut up,” you mumble as he starts coming over to you to continue what he started.
he starts to kiss your neck and collarbones, each one leaving you with a tickling sensation.
“you’re so gorgeous.” he says between kisses. “the best thing to ever happen to me.”
your cheeks flush a maroon. he gently starts removing your pajama shorts and underwear. his lips still pepper your skin as he takes off his lower attire as well.
he finally pulls away, removing both yours and his shirts. he stares at your naked body in awe. “so fucking gorgeous.”
you moan as he starts to push in slowly, resting his forehead on yours. you’ve been railed by this man more than enough times, but you’ll never fully adjust to his size no matter how hard you try.
he sits there for a few seconds, caressing the outside of your thighs with his thumbs in a soothing manner.
“you okay?” he asks, kissing you again and again.
you nod. he starts to thrust deep and slow, earning a ‘faster’ from your lips when you think he’s going too slow. he interlocks your fingers with his and holds them above your head.
“oh, fuck.” you say in a voice higher than your normal one. “just like that, chris."
his movements are at a decent speed. you spread your legs wider, forcing him to go deeper. he rests his head in the crook of your neck and moans with you.
you pant and whimper at each thrust, loving his warm and safe touch.
it’s not until he hits a certain spot that make your eyes flutter closed, a wide grin of contentment plastering your face.
“does it feel good, baby? hm?” he starts, lifting his head to look at your face of pleasure. “you like it right there, don’t you? ah, you’re so fucking tight.”
you clench around him, making him lose rhythm for only a moment. “chris, i’m cl—”
“i fucking knew it.”
the two of you pause and stare at each other in fear. your face turns pale when all the pleasure is gone in a snap.
you both take turns facing the source and cover yourselves with your comforter.
nate is standing in the doorway with his hand on the knob. you’ve never seen nate mad, and right now he doesn’t look mad, but something feels off.
he needs to let this sit for a moment before he explodes.
chris grabs his undergarments that are on the floor next to him and puts them on quickly.
nate glances at you, who’s too frozen in fear to do anything. he then looks at chris and exhales loudly.
“for future reference, don’t leave your fucking shoes by the front door.” his voice is in a low but dark tone. “now get out before i beat the shit out of you.”
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𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!
@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @hearts4chris @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom
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allur1ngs · 5 months
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✮ bloody knuckles ✮
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TW: angst to fluff!! i know the summary seems like pure angst but i swear its not! semi-graphic violence? , guns, kidnapping, bada and reader get into an argument, reader acts naively and a bit selfishly (but it’s okay, she’s young and makes up for it in the end), bada still having beef w your bodyguard, protective!bada, cold!bada (this time to you too…), violent & frusterated!bada, brief mentions of sexual activity (inc…toys, ass, boobs… sorry), use of the word unnie (about six or so times) brief mentions of drugs, a creepy woman, and a surprise character from the previous installment! 
SUMMARY: breaking bada’s three rules for a night of partying backfires in ways you could’ve never imagined. now, you have to deal with the consequences of your lies
part iv. succumb (to me)
WC: 12.5k… get some popcorn y’all this is a long one
A/N: read this and this for more background on this au. i’m sure there are a ton of mistakes sprinkled throughout this fic so please ignore them, this took me so long to write and i just want to put it out on time… i promise i’ll edit it once i get the chance😭
DISCLAIMER: all characteristics portrayed are purely speculation and fiction, they are not meant to reflect bada or team bebe’s actual character, values, or attitudes. please keep this in mind!!
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On an inconspicuous Thursday night, when a heat wave had just hit Seoul, you lounged in your lavish bed—free from sheets—scrolling through social media.
Pictures of cute animals and food fill your feed, making you smile down at your screen. You are about to like a particularly cute picture of a cat when a notification banner stops you midway. Your eyes flicker to the top of the screen, finding a message from your best friend, Jae Hwang.
Clicking on the notification, you're transferred into your messages app, and Jae’s text fills your screen. “Unnie, I haven’t seen you in so long!! Please come to the party I’m throwing tomorrow so we can catch up and have some fun~!"
Your lips fall open in mild surprise as you instinctively sit up. A party? You text Jae back quickly, asking the reason for the party and where it will be held.
“At my house, of course! We’re all gathering to celebrate your engagement!”
Your engagement… so your parents really hadn’t wasted any time spreading the good news. You’d barely been living with Bada for a month, and they’d already informed your friends. You shake your head and sigh rather loudly. Bada would greatly disapprove of your parents' loose lips. She preferred her privacy, not only for protection but also because she liked people staying out of her business. That much you could tell from the little time you’d had to get to know her.
Shifting your focus back to Jae’s unanswered text, you contemplate attending the party or skipping out. Though they were technically throwing it in your honor, they should have let you know beforehand instead of asking you the night before the party. You felt well within your rights to refuse, but a nagging thought holds you back.
What would you do instead? Technically, you had no plans on Friday night—or Friday at all for that matter. Saturday neither… nor Sunday. Really, you never had plans anymore. Since staying with Bada, you mostly remained inside the Lee mansion, either lounging by the large infinity pool, taking a dip in your personal Jacuzzi, or perhaps enjoying a film in the theater room on the second floor.
Or, if you wanted to leave home, you would be escorted by your bodyguard to certain malls, grocery stores, or establishments. All of which were either managed by Bada or by one of her partners. She made it clear to you from the start that going places not protected by one of her subordinates would be dangerous.
"I have connections to half the establishments in Seoul," she had muttered to you. It's incredible that despite the implications of the words falling from her mouth, Bada had a way of saying things so humbly. She didn't sound like she was boasting—though you wouldn't fault her if she was. "I bet some of the markets you entered when you were a child were run by my family, and you'd never have known."
You’d try your best to conceal your amazement at her confession, but the glow in your eyes was as clear as day to Bada. “And what about the rest?”
She let out a quiet breath, saying, "The rest are mostly run by rival gangs. Almost no stores or establishments are free of mafia influence. Not anymore, at least." Seeing the way your eyes shifted from bright to slightly apprehensive, she pushed her chair back and rose, walking around her desk before leaning on it and clutching onto its edges. "There's no need to worry about them. As long as you stay in areas where my people are, you are safe." Her hand came down to rest politely on your thigh, patting it in a comforting manner.
Her words made your stomach flutter with butterflies, and a giddy smile instinctively formed on your lips. For someone who claimed to want to avoid fostering romantic affection between you both, Bada seemed to be doing the exact opposite.
Before you could lose yourself in the tenderness of the memory, you climb out of bed, having made your decision. Because you barely left home as it is, what harm is there in going to a party? A party organized in your honor, no less. It’s a rare occasion, and truthfully, you miss Jae and the rest of your girlfriends. You haven’t seen them in over a month and texted them sparingly during that time. To be fair, it was mostly your fault—you were much too focused on getting to know Bada and adjusting to your new way of life to strike up conversations with them.
You nod your head firmly as if the action will help build your confidence before you grab onto the handle of your bedroom door and slowly open it. Standing to your right, the figure of your bodyguard, Hyo Kim, immediately greets you on the other side. She turns to face you, her black-tinted sunglasses obstructing your view of her eagle eyes.
“What are you doing up so late?” She says lightheartedly.
“Do you know if Bada is still awake?” You ask. “I wanted to ask her something.”
Hyo lifts her arm up, pushing aside the fabric of her suit to reveal a golden watch. She gazes down at it, pretending to think long and hard. “The Boss should be awake for about…” she trails off playfully, “another four hours.”
You chuckle under your breath, “I didn’t even need to ask, did I?”
“Not at all.” Hyo shakes her head while smirking.
“Alright then,” you clasp your hands together tightly, “I’m going to go see Bada.”
Hyo gestures ahead of you with her hand. “I’ll follow your lead.”
You nod quickly before advancing forward, her trailing close behind. You can’t lie; it was strange to have someone following after you almost every second of the day in the beginning. You remember that at the beginning of your stay at Lee mansion, you kept forgetting that Hyo was following you—she has the tendency to be extremely quiet when focused—and were jump-scared by her multiple times. You’d round corners and suddenly hear one of her heavier footsteps behind you, making you jump and your heart practically leap out of your chest.
At some point, you swear she started doing it on purpose, enjoying the look of fear you gave her when you jumped. Eventually, though, you started to grow used to her constantly lingering presence and even grew comfortable around her. Somewhere along the way, you’d both gotten to know each other more, and a slow but harmonious friendship grew.
“So, what are you going to ask the Boss about?” Hyo’s low and blithe voice cuts through the silence.
“Oh,” you begin, “my friend asked me to meet her and some of my other friends tomorrow night.”
“Really?” Hyo comments, her voice dripping with an emotion you can’t quite decipher.
“Yes,” you affirm. “I wanted to ask Bada if it’s okay for me to visit her.”
Hyo hums under her breath in acknowledgment. “She’ll appreciate that.”
“I hope so.” You smile lightly to yourself. “I just thought that since you follow me wherever I go, she’d find out either way, and I might as well get her thoughts on it.”
“Not to crush your hopes and dreams, kid, but I doubt she’ll say yes.” Hyo remarks.
“Really?” You pause and turn around to face her, a frown forming on your lips.
“The Boss values your safety more than anything else,” Hyo shrugs. “Meeting people she isn’t familiar with puts you at risk.”
“But they’re my friends.” You push back lightly.
“I get that, but like I said, the Boss only cares about keeping you safe.” Hyo raises her hands up in defeat.
You deflate at her words, acknowledging that she’s most likely right. After all the events that’d taken place in the span of a single month, you honestly wouldn’t hold it against Bada to be cautious of where you go. But at the same time, you can’t help but feel mild resentment at the fact that you aren’t even allowed to see your friends.
“Hey,” Hyo frowns at you like a scolding sister. “Don’t be discouraged. You haven’t even asked her yet. You never know; she just might say yes.”
You pick your head up at her words, slowly but surely nodding back. “Yeah, you’re right.” And with that, you continue walking down the corridor to Bada’s office until you reach the dark mahogany wood of her door. Lightly rapping on it, there’s a period of silence before you hear the low tenor of her voice speak up.
“Lusher, if you’re coming to ask me if I’ve finished the paperwork for POSCO’s deal, for the millionth time the answer is no, I haven’t.” Bada’s disgruntled voice makes you laugh to yourself, and you immediately bring your hand up to cover your mouth as you grin widely.
“Is now a bad time to see you, then?” You answer back cheekily.
You receive no response for a solid minute before the sound of papers rustling loudly and approaching footsteps reaches your ears. The door to Bada’s office opens, and there she stands in all her glory, looking rather flustered. “Sorry. I thought you were Lusher.”
You smile at Bada while shaking your head. “It’s alright. Can I come in?”
“Of course.” She steps aside, making room for you to walk into her office while she holds the door open for you. You say a quick thank you as pass through the threshold, missing how Bada lets the door swing closed behind her and shuts out Hyo. “So, is there a reason why you’re visiting me? It’s very late into the night; I expected you to be asleep already.”
“Well, I was about to go to sleep, but I got a text from Jae—” you pause upon seeing her frown. “my best friend.”
Bada nods in acknowledgment, moving toward a chair and pushing it back, gesturing for you to sit down. You do so, trying to ignore the nervous tension building in the pit of your stomach.
“Yeah, she invited—” you pause, choosing your next words carefully. Phrasing Jae’s invitation as a party would most likely mean Bada wouldn't let you go. So, if you just tweaked your wording a bit to make the party seem less extreme… it wouldn’t be that big of a deal, right? “she invited me to a get-together between friends.”
“A get-together?” Bada questions, folding her hands across her lap as she leans on the edge of her office table. “For what purpose?”
“Just to catch up and… celebrate our engagement.” You gesture between you both, immediately noticing how Bada’s expression shifts, her lips pressing into a thin line.
“They know of our engagement?” She asks.
“Yes,” you sigh. “I guess my parents couldn’t keep their excitement in check.”
“Your parents.” Bada shakes her head, pinching her nose-bridge tiredly. “I’ll have to have a word with them about that.”
“Please do.” You nod rapidly. “But aside from that, what I wanted to ask you was if I could be escorted to the get-together tomorrow night?”
Bada moves her gaze from the floor to your eyes, removes her hand from her face, and gives you a hesitant expression. “I don’t know… after all the incidents recently…” she trails off, a faraway look finding her eyes. “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want you to feel like you’re a prisoner in your own home, or that you can’t see your friends, I just want you to be safe.”
“I get that, I really do, Bada, but this is just a small get-together.” You lie between your teeth.
Bada stays quiet, looking to be considering your words. “And you trust your friends, right?”
“I do.”
Bada lets out a light breath, while a small smile finds her lips. “All right then, you can go.”
“Really?” You give her a shocked look before you snap out of it and practically squeal, jumping up from your chair and instinctively wrapping your arms around Bada’s shoulders in a hug. “Thank you so much!”
Bada freezes in her spot, surprised by your affection. Slowly, a warm, sappy feeling builds at the bottom of her stomach, and her hands, which had been propped up in the air stiffly, gently come down to rest against your back, patting it tenderly. “You’re welcome.” She tries not to think about how lovely you feel against her or the allure of your natural scent.
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You spend all Friday preparing for the party, choosing your makeup beforehand, your jewelry, shoes, and of course, your dress—a beautiful wine-red ensemble that you’d picked up on your shopping trip with Bada. She’d chosen it for you—claiming, “This dress would look beautiful on you.” The meaning behind her words, that it wasn’t the dress that was beautiful, but instead your figure that would make it look divine, had struck you in that moment.
If Bada wanted you to wear the dress, you’d buy it in a heartbeat.
For the little hours left you have in the day, you try not to get too giddy thinking of the party or how magnificent you’ll look in the dress, instead trying to busy yourself by catching up on one of your favorite TV shows. But when the milky raven sky begins to take over the horizon, you jump off of the couch, rushing to your room, leaving Hyo to scramble after you.
In your bedroom, you sit down at your antique-styled vanity, your makeup laid out in front of you. You begin prepping your skin before beginning your usual routine. It takes you a slightly longer time for you to finish because you’re being incredibly meticulous, but by the end of it, you look amazing. Before you can get distracted, you quickly dress yourself.
As your fingers curl around the clasp of your teardrop diamond earrings and secure them in place, you take a step back to gaze at yourself in your floor-length mirror.
The win-red dress hugs your body, accentuating every favorable feature of it. A similar dark rouge to your dress is blended across your eyelids in a smoky eye, making the color of your eyes pop in contrast. Your lips, fixed into a slight pout, are glossy and soft, tinted with a color of your choice. Taking your look all together, all you can say is that Bada was right—the dress does look beautiful on you.
A knock on your bedroom door startles you, your hand instinctively flying to your chest. "Hello?" You respond, a bit on edge.
"It's me. Can I come in?" Bada's voice, muffled behind the door, reaches you.
"Yes," you reply, hastily adjusting your dress and double-checking your appearance.
Bada enters just as your hands fall to your sides, her gaze immediately scanning your figure. She appraises you, from collarbones to legs, before fixing her eyes on your chest for a lingering moment.
Suppressing a nervous giggle, you greet her, "Hi, Bada."
Her eyes quickly snap up to meet yours, a sheepish cough escaping her mouth. "Hello."
Standing awkwardly by the door, Bada stares at you for a solid minute before you give a lighthearted smile. "Is there something you needed?"
"Uhh, no. Well, actually..." Bada stumbles over her words, closing her eyes in embarrassment. "Sorry, yes. I wanted to see you before you left."
You release a small breath of understanding before a cheeky thought crosses your mind. Walking closer to Bada, you do a little twirl when you reach her. "So, what do you think?"
Bada exhales while chuckling, her nervousness leaving her. "I think you are the most beautiful woman I've ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes upon."
Out of shock, you remain still, surprised by how unabashedly Bada expressed her thoughts. You expected a simple compliment, but she exceeded your expectations. "Really?" You ask quietly, sensing a shift in the room's atmosphere. An air of intimacy and something more sensual makes your skin prickle and breath hitch.
"Of course. There's no one I could think of that could make that dress look so stunning." Bada looks back at you with a serious and genuine expression.
"Bada..." you trail off, immediately thinking of countless other women who could wear the dress better. Supermodels, actresses—
"I think there's just one simple thing that would finish off the look." Bada's voice brings you back, and you give her a questioning stare. She smiles, her hand digging into her pocket before presenting you a sleek black box. Your confusion deepens as she opens it, revealing the most elegant necklace you've ever seen. Matching teardrop diamonds, akin to those on your earrings circle the chain, glittering against the low bedroom light. At the center, a silver locket shaped like a dainty heart ties it all together.
You stare at the necklace in awe, alternating between Bada's eyes and the exquisite piece of jewelry. "Bada, it's beautiful."
She watches you marvel at it, sparkles dancing in your eyes. Giving you a fond look, she nudges the box closer. "Take it."
Hesitating for a brief second, you gently retrieve the necklace. "Wow," you breathe out, fully admiring its beauty now that it’s free from the box.
"You should put it on," Bada encourages you softly.
“Oh, I shouldn’t—” you protest.
“I insist,” she cuts you off, tucking the box back into her pocket. She steps forward, taking the necklace from your hands and moving behind you. “Here, let me.” She places it across your collarbones and brings the clasp together, her long fingers brushing across your skin. 
Her touch ignites a spark, but as quickly as it appeared, her fingers are gone. She steps back, placing her hands on your waist to move you back so that you’re facing your mirror again. But this time, Bada's at your side, admiring how exquisite you look.
 “Absolutely perfect,” she whispers into your ear.
The warmth from her touch lingers as you stare at Bada through the mirror. “Thank you.” You bask in the comfortable silence in the room for a moment before speaking up again. “Can I ask, did you buy this?”
Bada places her hands atop your shoulders, a soft, wistful look finding her irises. “It was my mother’s.”
Immediately, you whip around to face her, your mouth wide open in mortification, and your eyes the size of saucers. “Bada, why didn’t you tell me?” Your hands frantically try to find the clasp of the necklace, wanting to take it off. “Here—”
“No.” Bada’s hands find yours, holding them and stopping you from removing the jewelry. “Don’t take it off.”
“But Bada, this was your mom’s—”
“And I want you to have it,” Bada states firmly.
“I can’t—”
“Are you rejecting my gift?” Although her words sound accusatory, when you look into her eyes, there’s a glint of amusement in them.
You let out a huff of defeat. “Fine.”
Bada smirks proudly, removing her hands from yours. “Good.”
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After bidding farewell to Bada, Hyo swiftly whisks you away to a black Jeep, one that, according to her, is "much more secure than a sports car." Seated in the front, she drives and engages in casual conversation while you relax in the back. You take the opportunity to share stories about each of your best friends—Jae, the liveliest, Da-Eun, the second oldest, Min-Ji, the oldest, and Ryung, the youngest and most timid. Hyo listens attentively, interjecting with comments or laughter at your anecdotes.
“You all seem to be very close,” she remarks, steering the wheel to the left.
“Yeah, we are. We’ve known each other since childhood, and our parents are all friends,” you reply.
“Those types of friends… you should hold onto them,” Hyo advises. “In this line of business, it’s hard to find someone you can trust as much as you four trust each other.”
You gaze at your bodygaurd through the rear-view mirror, sensing the weight behind her words. "Hyo?" You inquire.
"Yeah?"
"Does Bada find it hard to trust other people?"
Her lips tighten, an audible exhale leaving her nose. "She hasn't fully placed her trust in anyone since the day Mrs. Lee died."
A somber atmosphere envelops the car, akin to a bucket of ice-cold water. You shift in your seat uncomfortably, your heart aching at the thought of the pain Bada must have endured when her mother was killed. "Bada was still young when she passed, wasn’t she?"
"Fifteen," Hyo nods. "Barely beginning her climb towards adulthood."
A stark silence follows after, and the rest of the car ride is silent, filled only with the quiet hum of the Jeep’s engine and the sounds of passersby. It's not uncomfortable, but rather solemn, as if you and Hyo are silently mourning Mrs. Lee's memory.
Fifteen minutes later, Hyo's driving slows as she turns into a large house—though noticeably smaller than your shared one with Bada, of course. The GPS on the tablet beeps, signaling your arrival at the destination. "We’re here," her voice rings through the background noise.
You turn away from the window you’d been gazing out of, a smile forming on your lips at the sight of Jae’s house. Out of your group, Jae always had the most luxurious home, because though all of you came from affluent families, Jae's parents were the wealthiest. Well, it seemed like now the dynamic had changed. Once you and Bada are officially wed, your combined wealth will likely rival all of theirs combined.
"How long do you think you’ll be staying?" Hyo asks.
"I'd like to say it won't take that long, but knowing my friends, I might be here all night," you admit.
"Alright." Hyo parks the Jeep in the driveway, exits, then moves to open your door. You offer a quiet thank you as she helps you step out, mindful of the relatively short length of your dress.
Leading the way to Jae's house, you pause before knocking. Judging by the time, it seems you arrived slightly early, which in party terms means very early. Fortunately, that likely means no other partygoers are here yet, as evidenced by the absence of parked cars in the driveway.
"Actually, Hyo?" you turn back to face her, a sheepish look on your face. "Could you maybe… wait outside?"
Your bodyguard raises her eyebrows, crossing her arms across her chest. "I'm supposed to be keeping an eye on you."
"I know that, but I think the girls will be thrown off by the fact that you’ll just be standing there… watching us the entire night." Though your reasoning is somewhat woven with lies, it's also partly true.
Hyo remains silent, giving you an unimpressed look. "I have a job to do."
"Technically, you can do it from out here," you weakly argue. "Please, I want to feel like a normal person again. Like my life isn’t constantly at risk, and I always need to be monitored."
Although you can’t see the look Hyo’s giving you behind her sunglasses, you notice her posture deflating, and her shoulders falling. She releases a defeatist breath, "Fine, I’ll keep an eye out from here."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" You express with a grateful smile.
"Yeah, yeah, never say I haven’t done anything for you," Hyo grumbles. "Oh, and don’t forget I have your location on my phone, so don’t even think about sneaking out because I’ll know."
"I wouldn’t dare," you joke.
"Right…" your bodyguard trails off. "I’ll be waiting in the car. If you need anything, just call or text me, and I’ll be out in an instant."
"Yup, thanks!" You give Hyo a thumbs up, and with that, she retreats back to the Jeep. You watch her go, a sudden wave of guilt crashing over you.
She'd probably be much more comfortable in Jae’s house, sitting down or enjoying the air conditioning, rather than waiting for countless hours in the Jeep while you gossip and talk to your friends. But you're in too deep now. You can’t tell her the truth or let her in, or she’ll whisk you away back to the mansion, and all your white lies will have been for naught.
Biting your lip, you cast one last look at Hyo before knocking on the front door. Silence greets you for a few minutes before you hear shuffling approach the door, and it opens. Jae’s face greets you on the other side, her eyes immediately sparkling at the sight of you.
"Oh my god!" She squeals, bringing you into a hug and squeezing you tight. "I’m so glad you’re here!" She rocks back and forth in the hug, making you laugh giddily. "I missed you so much!" When she pulls back, she’s wearing a pout across her red-tinted lips. "Don’t ghost me for a month again, okay? Or I’ll steal you away from your wife!"
"I missed you too," you say fondly. "But we’re not married yet—"
"Oh, come on, you’re engaged to Bada Lee! You’re married in every sense except legally." Jae rolls her eyes playfully, though they stray a bit before landing on something—or rather, someone—behind you. "Who’s that?" She points at the Jeep, where Hyo is sitting in the front seat, trying not to look like she's watching you.
"That’s Hyo Kim, my bodyguard."
"Your bodyguard?" Jae awes before pouting. "Why am I even surprised? Of course, Bada Lee would have her fiancée under lock and key." Jae grabs your hand, giving it a light squeeze before her expression shifts, a sly smile curving her lips. "So tell me, have you two done it yet? Is she dominant? Is she more of a boobs girl or an ass girl—"
"Jae!" You shout, eyes wide and voice full of mortification. "Are you serious right now?"
"Come on, tell me! I want to know all the stuff you haven’t told me over the past month. You owe it to me!" She whines.
You let out a long sigh. You suppose this is your karma for unintentionally ignoring your best friend for so long. "At least invite me in first, Jae. Don’t you have any manners?" You lightly scold her.
"Oh, right." She looks behind her, realizing that while she’s inside her home, you’re still outside the threshold, waiting for her to invite you in. She looks like she’s about to take a step back so you can enter before she pauses, a thoughtful expression crossing her features. "Wait, does she use toys—"
"Alright, that’s enough!" You push Jae further into her house and step inside, swinging the door shut rather loudly behind you.
Once inside, you scold her for a solid five minutes straight about manners before the two of you properly greet each other and begin a normal, casual conversation—thankfully with no mention of your and Bada’s sexual activity, or lack thereof. Instead, you're practically interrogated by Jae about every aspect of your life with Bada while you help her finish setting up for the party.
You stack up red solo cups, place beers into multiple coolers, and set out chasers. Thankfully, it doesn’t take much for the two of you to finish, and once you do, you simply lounge around a bit. Jae takes the break as an opportunity to compliment how amazing you look in your dress.
"Is that Chanel?" She asks, motioning for you to do a spin.
"Yes." You nod, doing as she wishes. "Bada picked it out for me."
"I bet she’s regretting her decision right now." Your friend giggles. "No one’s going to be able to resist you tonight!"
"Jae, stop exaggerating." You laugh.
Your lighthearted conversation continues until slowly but surely, party guests begin to arrive. They come in small waves, all dressed much more elegantly than the average partygoer. You assume they must be some of Jae’s rich friends that you’ve heard about only in passing because you don’t recognize some of them. The thought sends a small prickle of worry to the back of your mind, but you choose to ignore it for now. Instead, you greet each guest kindly, albeit rather awkwardly.
As the dark sky deepens in color, the living room starts to get more and more crowded, the rest of your friends arriving along with other guests. Min-Ji gets there first, wearing a classy black cocktail dress. She greets you with the same enthusiasm as Jae, but her demeanor is slightly more controlled, her older age shining through.
Next, Da-Eun arrives, dressed in green, and lastly, Ryung. By the time she settles in, the party is in full swing, music leaking out of speakers, and beers being passed around. You’re fully immersed in the atmosphere, happy to be surrounded by your girls and other somewhat familiar faces. You can’t lie, partying with your friends really puts into perspective the loneliness you hid behind your home’s mansion walls.
But in contrast to your free spirit, Hyo is struggling. Multiple cars have begun to pull into the driveway, groups of people entering the house and giving her a peek inside. The home has many more people than it should for a "small gathering." 
Her first instinct was to exit the Jeep and head toward the door to end your night prematurely, as well as tell you off for not only lying to her but also to Bada. However, through one of the windows, your silhouette peaks through, the light in the living room shining against your features and displaying your expression of pure joy as you dance with your friends and sip beer.
She stops mid-stride, conflict brewing in the confines of her mind. Deep down, she knows you deserve to enjoy yourself. Being stuck in a mansion—while large and full of entertainment—is nothing compared to the comfort of being with friends, partying, and drinking. “Fuck.” Hyo mutters under her breath, passing a hand through her hair in frustration. She takes another look at your smiling figure through the window, then turns back. “The Boss is going to kill me if she finds out about this.”
She stays back in the Jeep for another hour or so, listening to the music coming from inside the house and the loud chatter, keeping an eye out while checking her phone every other minute. Your location never moves, thankfully. It seems that you have the foresight not to take it as far as sneaking away from her for some fun.
But, of course, there’s no need for you to do so because the party is practically buzzing with energy. Couples and friends dance together, grinding and touching each other playfully, while some are playing cup pong or various other party games in corners of the room. You, on the other hand, have moved away from dancing, instead cooling off with another beer as your friends chatter amongst each other.
“You’ll never guess what happens next!” Jae grabs onto Min-Ji, tugging on her hands with poorly concealed excitement.
“What?” Min-Ji indulges her younger friend.
“Bada stops him right before he leaves the store just by saying, ‘And where do you think you're going?’” Jae lowers her voice and puts on a serious expression when imitating your fiancée.
“Really?” Min-Ji's eyes find your figure, a small smile curving her lips upward.
You smile back at her shyly, nodding.
“And then, she makes the asshole pick up her clothes from the ground!” Jae divulges.
“Does he do it?” Da-Eun cuts in, smirking widely.
“Of course he does! Like a little worm, he picks up all the clothes and gives them to her.” Jae points at you, letting go of Min-Ji’s hands.
“Bada must have a very strong presence,” Ryung comments quietly.
“More like everyone in the store was on Bada’s payroll,” Jae snorts. “Right Unnie, didn’t you say Bada has ties to half the population of Seoul?”
“Yes,” you confirm. “I think everyone in that store had guns on them.”
“How do you know?” Min-Ji asks.
“Well, they were all putting their hands in their pockets like they were going to pull out a firearm,” you reminisce. “And they were all staring between the man and Bada like they were waiting for her word to dispose of him.”
“It’s so crazy hearing about it.” Jae whines. “I wish I was there!”
“Don’t say that.” Min-Ji scolds her. “It must have been scary at the time, wasn’t it?” She looks back at you, posing the question.
“I wasn’t really scared for myself.” You shake your head. “I was more scared for the man. You should have seen the way Bada was looking at him.”
“I can imagine it now.” Jae tries to imitate a hardened and scary glare but ends up failing.
“You just look like you’re constipated.” Da-Eun laughs loudly, pointing at a now offended Jae. The younger girl hits Da-Eun, whining about how she was really trying to look serious.
You join in laughing with Da-Eun and Min-Ji at Jae, when you suddenly feel a tug on your right hand. Your laughter dies down as you turn to face Ryung, who’s looking between you and another corner of the room. You give her a confused look, trying to find what she’s gazing at. “Ryung? Is something wrong?”
“A woman's been staring at you since she got here.” Ryung whispers, casting her eyes to the other corner of the room.
You follow her line of sight to an unfamiliar, relatively attractive woman dressed in a loose white dress shirt and slacks. She has fiery red hair and a boyish look. She’s already watching you, her eyes unabashedly trailing up and down your figure, completely unbothered by the fact that you caught her staring. In fact, she smirks back at you.
You turn away from her quickly, a prickle of anxiety running up your spine. Though most would be excited at being ogled by an attractive woman, there’s something about her gaze that unnerves you. It's like she knows something you don’t.
“Do you know her?” Ryung asks, a worried look crossing her features.
“No.” You shake your head, a trembling breath leaving your lips. “I’ve never seen her before in my life.”
Da-Eun, Min-Ji, and Jae stop laughing at the sound of your nervous voice, turning to face you with questioning looks.
“What’s going on?” Min-Ji asks, noticing your rigid posture and Ryung’s grim expression.
Jae mutters your name, her voice becoming uncharacteristically quiet.
“There’s this woman that’s been staring at Unnie the entire night.” Ryung secretly motions towards you, then looks back at the woman with red hair. All of your friends' eyes follow, seeing how the woman gazes at you darkly; even with all their eyes on her, she doesn’t cower. Instead, she continues to watch you.
“Alright.” Da-Eun rubs her hands together, her expression dripping with anger. “Let me go have a word with her—”
“Not so fast.” Min-Ji grabs onto Da-Eun’s arm, pulling her back and keeping her from advancing toward the woman. “Jae, do you know her?”
Jae bites her lip, shaking her head. “I don’t remember inviting anyone that looks like that.”
“Then let me—” Da-Eun tries to wiggle out of Min-Ji’s hold but is unsuccessful.
“Don’t be so rash.” Min-Ji asserts. “Let’s just ignore her. If she decides to bother you directly, we’ll be here, okay?” She looks back at you with a caring expression, placing her hand on your shoulder.
“Okay.” You agree shakily, turning your back toward the woman’s direction.
For the rest of the night, you constantly feel her eyes on you. Though you try to act normal, a spike of fear runs up your body when you see someone approach you or accidentally brush up against you while you dance with your friends. You consider asking Hyo to come get you, but you don’t want to sour the mood of your friends. So you deal with her predatory gaze, and do your best to ignore her overwhelming presence.
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Hyo’s eyes scan the neighborhood leisurely when a notification banner pops up at the top of her screen. Her eyes snap toward it, finding a text message from none other than her boss light up the screen. She takes in a deep breath as she presses it, her screen being moved to the message app.
Bada’s text reads, “How’s it going?”
Hyo lets out a sigh of relief, quickly texting back, “Good, she’s having fun.” She watches Bada’s text bubble show up soon after indicating she was writing, but it disappears a few seconds later. Hyo takes the opportunity to add, “Her friends are very lively.”
Bada’s text bubble appears again, but this time she sends a message saying, “Focus on doing your job.” Hyo huffs under her breath, exiting out of the messaging app and switching back to managing your location.
Her brief distraction keeps her from noticing a new group of men heading toward the house. Most slip in, it’s only until the last is about to cross inside that Hyo looks up, her eyes catching a baggy of white powder one of the men is carrying.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” She hisses. Immediately she exits the car, dialing Bada’s personal phone as she races up the driveway and slips into the house behind the man.
Inside, you’re slowly becoming more and more unnerved by the red-haired woman. Your friends try to take you around the living room, using the other partygoer’s bodies as a shield between you two, but she doesn’t allow them to. She moves through the crowd until she has a clear view of you again, then just stands there, her gaze unwavering.
“She really doesn’t give up, huh?” Min-Ji curses under her breath.
“What a creep,” Da-Eun adds.
“Are you okay?” Ryung asks you.
“I don’t know.” You admit, rubbing your arm uncomfortably.
“Hold on,” Jae cuts in. “I think she’s coming this way.”
Four pairs of eyes snap in the direction Jae is looking, finding the woman weaving through the crowd of partygoers in an attempt to reach you.
This time your entire body goes rigid, intense fear running through your veins as your friends rally around you, muttering comforting words. Their voices and the loud bass of the music in the background fade away, all you’re able to focus on is the woman with red hair only a few feet away from you now.
She’s just about to reach you when a firm grip grabs onto your arm, pulling you away from your friends. You jump at the person’s touch, instinctively trying to recoil away before you turn to see a familiar face.
“Hyo.” You breathe out in relief. 
“We’re leaving right now.” She says firmly, pulling you through the crowd of people. 
“Hey!” Da-Eun surges forward at the sight of Hyo taking you away. “Who are you–?”
“No, it’s okay, that’s her bodyguard,” Jae informs your friends.
Your friends share resounding noises of astoundment before Hyo starts to firmly push you toward the exit. You say a hurried goodbye to them, catching out of the corner of your eye the red-haired woman. She’s now wearing a frown as she quickly retreats into the crowd of dancing bodies, hiding away from your gaze, as well as Hyo’s.
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The entirety of the drive back home is dead silent, but this time it’s not comfortable. Hyo’s lips are set into thin and firm lines, her expression unchanging as she switches lanes and drives through the jet-black night. You try to will your voice to work and make idle conversation, but the words get stuck in your throat, a deep feeling of regret pooling at the depths of your stomach.
The car ride back unfortunately felt much shorter than the ride to Jae’s house had. One minute you're just barely pulling out of her driveway, and the next you're passing the gates into your mansion's driveway.
Hyo parks the car, exiting quickly and opening the door for you like she always does. You still say thank you, but this time she doesn’t acknowledge it, she simply lets you take the lead as you begin the walk of shame into your home.
Walking through the front door, the first floor is eerily quiet, missing the sounds of Bebe walking around or talking amongst themselves. You hesitate before walking up the right spiral staircase to the second floor, then move to your right toward the direction of your bedroom.
“We’re going this way.” Hyo breaks her silence, motioning with her thumb behind her, toward the corridor that leads to Bada’s office. You gulp but say nothing in response, instead choosing to listen to her and head toward your fiancée. 
The sound of both your and Hyo’s footsteps echoing against the cold marble floor causes even more unease in your mind, the feeling all but tripling when you see a dark mahogany door come into view. You stop right in front of it, your legs starting to feel weak and your hands sweating. You try to build up your courage to knock on the door, but Hyo’s already a step ahead of you.
She doesn’t bother to knock, she simply grabs ahold of the door handle and pushes it open. She gestures for you to head inside which you do timidly, the door closing right behind you.
Inside the office, your eyes immediately find Bada’s figure. She’s sitting in her chair like she always is, looking incredibly tired. And instead of wearing a soft expression at the sight of you, her face is blank, not a single wisp of emotion to be seen. 
“Sit down.” Her voice cuts through the tension in the air.
You do as she says, noting that she doesn’t get up to pull your chair back for you like she normally does. “Bada,” you begin, voice quiet and full of remorse.
“I heard you had fun tonight.” She cuts you off, her tone harsh. “A party, was it?”
You close your eyes in embarrassment. “I’m sorry–”
“Are you?” She interrupts you again. “Truthfully, are you?”
“Yes.” You say frantically, trying to convince her. “I didn’t mean for it to go this far.”
“You had multiple opportunities to tell me the truth.” Bada asserts, her hands coming in front of her to clasp together tightly. “The night before when I asked you about your so-called ‘get-together.’" She lists, "You could have told me anytime today, or Hyo when she was driving you. Instead, you unabashedly lied to my face and deceived me.”
You swear the wind is knocked out of your chest at her words. Her dark brown, almost grey eyes are cutting into yours, wounding your heart as you will something, anything out of your mute vocal cords. “Please believe me.”
“I can’t.” Bada shakes her head. “All I asked of you was three things.” Much like she had when you first arrived at the Lee mansion, she holds up three corresponding fingers. “Tell me the truth, remain loyal, and never put yourself in unnecessary danger.” She places all three fingers down. “Somehow you managed to disobey all of them in the span of a single night.”
Tears prick at the corner of your eyes, and heaving breaths start to build in your windpipe. You can deal with Bada being upset with you, but there’s something about her calm disappointment that hurts you more than you could have ever imagined.
“What would have happened if someone at that party brought a gun, hm? What if they knew who you are to me? What if they wanted to hurt me by hurting you?” Her voice slowly rises in volume but never reaches a full yell. “More than anything, you put yourself in danger. All for the sake of a good time.”
You hang your head in shame, acknowledging that she’s right.
“I can’t trust you anymore.” She states plainly.
Your head snaps up from its hunched position, your eyes widening at the implication of her words. “What? Bada, what does that mean?”
Your fiancée remains quiet for a moment, her blank look doing nothing to soothe your heightening fear. Then, she speaks up. “It’s late, you should go to sleep.”
“Go to sleep?” You cry. “Bada–”
“I’m sorry, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” She tears her eyes away from yours, staring to her right. “I can’t look at you right now.”
Her words are the final blow to your breaking heart. You stand up from your chair loudly, attempting to hide your devastated expression as tears fall from your eyes in steady streams. You race over to the door, pull it open, and run out of the office, accidentally bumping into Hyo on your way out. You don’t say anything to her, simply wanting to get as far away as possible.
Lusher, who’d been rounding the corner about to head into Bada’s office catches sight of your teary eyes and sighs. She makes eye contact with Hyo, sharing a knowing look with her before entering the office.
“I’m not in the mood, Lusher,” Bada mutters, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration.
“Don’t you think you were a little too hard on her?” Lusher contends.
“She put her life at risk,” Bada states firmly.
“She went to a party, so what? She’s at the age where she’s supposed to be having fun with her friends, clubbing and drinking.”
“She lied to me,” Bada argues.
“Listen, I know that–” before Lusher can finish her sentence, the door to Bada’s office opens again, this time much more violently. Hyo stands in the doorway, a worried look encompassing her features.
“What now?” Bada snaps at her.
“Boss,” Hyo huffs. “the keys to the Jeep are gone.”
“What?” Bada stands up with urgency, her blank expression morphing into nothing but unrivaled anger. “Where did you put them?”
“I had them in my pocket–” Hyo freezes, a look of realization glinting in her eyes before she stops and runs a hand down her face in frustration. “Your fiancée pickpocketed me.”
“She pickpocketed you?” Lusher says incredulously. “So she just left? But it’s dangerous to be out this late, and in that dress–”
“Lusher, gather all of Bebe.” Bada interrupts her, voice loud and commanding. “You,” she points at Hyo. “find her. Now.”
“Yes, boss.” Lusher and Hyo say in unison, scrambling to do what their superior asked of them. 
Meanwhile, Bada remains standing behind her desk, a mix of fear and unadulterated anger building in her. She feels immediate regret for the way she’d treated and spoken to you. She never should have let you leave in such a vulnerable, and most likely intoxicated state.
She could never forgive herself if something happened to you because of your argument. She slams her hands down on her desk, almost breaking it with the amount of force she uses.
Bada storms out of her office, heading down the corridor toward her bedroom, pushing the door open before heading toward her bedside table. She opens the first drawer, revealing a black pistol. She grabs it, about to exit her bedroom when her eyes catch the portrait of her mother hanging just above her bedside table. She takes a moment to face it, her face morphing into a grim expression. 
“I won’t fail you, mother.”
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Lusher, Tatter, Kyma, Minah, Chehe, and Soweon, otherwise known as Bebe are all gathered in the armory room, guns in their hands. Lusher dons a sniper, Tatter a pump shotgun, Kyma a handgun, Minah a rifle, Cheche a break action, and Soweon a pistol.
“She managed to pickpocket Hyo?” Soweon exclaims, loading her pistol with bullets. “How is that possible?”
“She must not be as innocent as we thought.” Cheche comments. “Out of all of us, Hyo is the most alert and aware of her surroundings. She has some skill.”
“Enough talking.” Lusher cuts in, clicking a magazine into her sniper. “We’re wasting time. Boss wants us to find her as soon as possible.”
Bebe falls into line, following their second-in-command to the first level of the Lee mansion where Hyo is, tapping her foot against the marbled floor impatiently.
“Do you know where she is?” Bada’s booming voice causes all her subordinates to freeze. It’s brimming with urgency, and full of poison.
Hyo looks up at where her boss is standing at the top of the spiral staircase, her aura demonstrating absolute authority. “I think she’s lost her phone.”
“What do you mean?” Tatter speaks up.
“The location stopped moving right in front of her friend, Jae’s house. But it’s not inside, it’s farther down the road.”
The room becomes astoundingly quiet, so silent you could most certainly hear a pin drop. Although no one has the heart to say it, they all know the truth. You’ve been taken.
But then, Bada’s heavy footsteps begin descending the stairs, her eyes alit with a fiery passion and her eyes fixed into a firm glare.
“We’re finding my fiancée.” She demands. “And if she’s not home by the end of the night, it’ll be your head on a pike.” She points at Hyo, her pistol held firmly in her other hand.
“Yes, Boss,” Hyo says fearlessly. Truthfully, she felt partially at fault for what had happened. If she had only brought you home the second she realized you were throwing a party, or if she paid more attention when you bumped into her, you would be here, safe. 
Before they can all head out, Bada’s phone buzzes in her pocket. She stops, pulling it out and observing the caller ID. Her eyes widen when she sees it, immediately pressing the answer button and holding the phone up to her ear. She mutters your name into the speaker, causing all of Bebe to freeze and look at her in shock.
“Where are you?” Bada says, voice soft and full of worry.
“Hello?” A voice that is most certainly not yours greets her ears.
Bada’s expression shifts immediately, her eyes narrowing to slits and her voice dropping. “Who the fuck is this?”
“Are you Bada Lee?” The voice says hurriedly.
“Yes. How did you get this phone? Where is my fiancée?” Bada demands.
“This is Jae, Unnie’s best friend.”
“Jae?” Bada says, her tone calming the slightest bit. “Where is she?”
“Bada, you need to come here quick.” She cries. “Unnie called me a few minutes ago saying she wanted to stay the night with me, but right when I saw her pulling into the driveway, another car parked beside her, and I think they took her!”
Bada’s hands form fists as she motions with her head for Bebe to go into the garage full of cars. They do so immediately, piling into a modified and armored SUV with a sunroof. Lusher sits behind the wheel while Hyo takes the passenger’s seat. The rest of the girls sit in the back, guns positioned in their laps, Minah poking out of the sunroof with her rifle propped up in front of her.
Bada follows after them, getting into her personal, fortified sports car as the door to the garage slowly begins to open. She puts Jae on speaker, “Did you see who took her?”
“It was dark, but I recognized one person,” Jae confirms. “It was this woman who was at the party I threw for Unnie. She was staring at her the entire night like a creep.”
“What does she look like?” Bada asks through her teeth.
“She’s wearing a white dress shirt, a pair of black pants… oh, and she has very vibrant, red hair!”
Bada pulls up next to Bebe’s car, her eyes meeting Lusher’s, a new type of rage building in her irises. “Seong.”
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When you awake from your slumber there’s a pounding ache at the back of your head, and your eyes are blurry. You blink as you try to gather your bearings and sit up, but your arms are held behind your back by something. You start to panic, your head whipping around as you begin to remember what had happened just before you lost consciousness.
You’d been driving the Jeep toward Jae’s house whilst sobbing uncontrollably, realizing that your selfishness would most likely cost you your engagement to Bada.
When you were a few minutes away from Jae, you called her with trembling hands, breathing heavily into your phone.
Your friend muttered your name into the phone, sounding like she’d just woken up.
“I’m sorry.” Your voice shook with emotions. “Is it okay if I stay with you for the night?”
“Of course,” Jae answered immediately. “But what’s wrong? Have you been crying?”
“Bada and I got into a fight.” You admitted. “I think she’s going to call off the engagement.”
“What?” Jae’s incredulous voice rang out of the phone.
“I’ll tell you everything in a second, I’m right next to your house.” You made a left into Jae’s neighborhood, finding the lights in her house on. You parked a little further down the street, seeing stray liquor bottles and red solo cups littering her lawn, most likely thrown away by her drunk party guests. “Okay, I’m here.”
“Where?” Jae’s figure approached the window that oversaw her driveway, her eyes squinting as she tried to discern your body from the pitch-darkness of the night. “I don’t see you.”
You sniffled into the microphone, switching hands as you climbed out of the Jeep and waved your hands to get Jae’s attention. “To your right.”
Jae’s eyes shifted in your direction, and after searching for a few minutes her eyes shone with recognition. “Oh, I see you!” She waved back at you, the interaction distracting you to the point where you didn’t hear a car pull up next to you until people were clambering out of it, their heavy footfalls approaching you.
You jumped when you felt an arm grab you, gasping and struggling against their grip. “Let me go!”
Jae’s voice came out of your phone, saying your name, but before you could answer her or call out for help, something hard hit you in the back of your head and caused you to fall limp into your kidnapper's arms. But before you fully lost consciousness, you caught a brief glint of red hair from the corner of your eye. 
“No.” You whisper, reality finally settling in. “No, no, no.” You try to move your hands, but your eyes find them secured behind your back with handcuffs. You struggle against them, trying to wiggle your hands out but they’re closed tight against your flesh, making the steel rub your skin raw. You hiss in pain but continue trying until your wrists are red. You try to move toward the wall behind you, leaning on it to help you stand up.
Once on your feet, you stomp on the floor, trying to break the heel of your platform heels. You repeat your action a few times on each foot until part of the heel breaks off, leaving you with shoes that are easier to run in. You huff out in exhaustion, but you’re not done yet. Using the wall once again, you attempt to get your arms in front of you by jumping and pulling your arms under you. Thankfully, you’re successful, and let out a breathy laugh of victory. 
 You slide down the wall, taking a small break when you suddenly hear footsteps coming close to the room you’re trapped in. Your eyes widen in fear as you try to back away further from the door.
“Look who’s awake.” The woman with red hair enters the room, her voice coming out in a sing-song.
“Who are you?” You rasp, sitting up tall. Although you’re terrified out of your mind, you know better than to show it. 
“The name’s Seong, sweetheart.” She smirks, one of her lackeys trailing after her. “And you have something I want.” You stare back at her as she gets closer to you, bending down so you’re at eye level. “Not going to ask me what it is?”
You say nothing, instead just keep eye contact with her, never once wavering under her unnerving gaze.
“Ah, we have a strong one here.” Seong laughs heartily. “I can see why Bada keeps you around.”
Mentally, you curse at yourself. Of course you’d been kidnapped as some sort of leverage piece between this woman and Bada. She’s most likely one of the rival gangs that’d been waiting for the chance to pounce at an opening to get through to Bada. And you’d stupidly given her the perfect opportunity.
“Well…” Seong’s voice drops, chills running down your spine as her eyes lower to your figure. “I’m guessing she doesn’t just appreciate your banter, huh?” She reaches out to touch you, her cold hands dragging across your collarbones. “So pretty…”
“Don’t touch me.” You spit, tone dripping with disgust as you recoil away from her.
“So lively too.” Seong chuckles.
“Bada’s going to come get me.” You cut in, glaring at the woman with fiery hair.
“Oh yes, I’m counting on that.” Seong smiles. “You know, she owes me a lot of money.” She stands up and begins to pace around the room. “My father and her father used to work together back in the day. But once Lee died and your little wife took over his business, she cut ties with him. Apparently, selling drugs is too ‘corrupt’ for her.” She scoffs loudly, the sound full of resentment and anger. “My father lost all his connections. He had to start selling to junkies on the streets, and now he’s running out of money.”
She stops in front of you again, a twisted smile stretching across her face.
“Bring him in,” Seong says to the lackey behind her. He follows her orders, trailing out of the room before he returns minutes later, a man shuffling behind him. When the man steps into the low light of the room, you audibly gasp and your eyes widen. “Remember him?” Seong stands next to the man–the same man from the mall. The man that’d harassed you, and had been humiliated by Bada.
Here he stands, the right side of his face swollen and colored in grotesque combinations of yellow and purple bruises.
“You.” The man rasps, his eyes shining with a crazy glint.
“This man right here was beaten half to death by Bada when I found him lying on the street.” Seong pats his shoulder. “Imagine my surprise when he told me how he’d accidentally hit on the Bada Lee’s fiancée, and almost gotten himself killed because of it.” She circles around the man. “Finding you after that didn’t take much. And look at you now…”
“Lying on the floor like some pathetic bitch.” The man spits. “How does it feel?”
“Go to hell.” You snap at him, eyes set in a glare.
“You should be careful how you speak to me.” The man warns you, walking closer before he bends down in front of you. “You’re the one who’s restrained, and at our mercy.”
“And yet despite that, it’ll be your blood that stains this floor when Bada finds me.” You retaliate.
The man’s face screws up in anger, and in a flash, he grabs onto your necklace, using it to tug you forward painfully. “You bitch–”
Your eyes go wide as you watch your necklace–Bada’s mother’s necklace–stretch in his hold. “No–” you choke out, using what little control you have of your hands to slug them against his face, taking his hands off the necklace. But unfortunately, his strength ends up ripping it off your neck, the broken jewelry falling onto the ground. “No!” You cry, scrambling over to the necklace, trying to grab it with your hands.
The man turns to face you, wearing a look of anger you’d never seen before in your life. He raises his fist, about to punch you when a hand stops him from doing so.
“Now, now, let’s not get too caught up in our anger.” Seong pulls the man away from you and pushes him toward the door. “We’ll have our fun once Bada arrives, believe me. You can do the honors of killing her if you really want to.”
Seong follows the man out of the room, her lackey trailing behind her before she stops to give you one final look, and closes the door to your room, leaving you trembling and in almost complete darkness.
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In the raven black of the night, Bada, Tatter, Chehe, Hyo, Kyma, Minah, and Soweon stand at the door to Seong’s hideout, guns held tightly in their hands. Bada turns to look at a building across the street, holding a thumbs up in the air. Atop the building is Lusher, her sniper propped up against the ledge of the roof, her scope focused on Bada’s signal. She traces the red dot coming from her sniper around Bada’s thumb, indicating she’s ready.
“Lusher’s in position.” Bada turns back to face Bebe, nodding at them. “Let’s not waste any more time.”
“Yes, Boss.” They all parrot in response.
Bada turns to face the doorknob, pointing her gun at it before shooting. Tatter steps up first, shouldering the door open with intense force, making it swing open and reveal Seong’s hideout. Some lackeys that had been standing around jump at the sudden intrusion, their hands instinctively reaching for their guns. But all of Bebe’s members are twice as fast and skilled. Tatter shoots down one man with her shotgun while the rest of Bebe pile in, backing her up and mulling down the waves of oncoming men like they’re bugs.
Bada steps in last, shooting a man who was running in as backup, then shooting another who almost managed to get a shot in on Minah. She charges forward without fear, cutting through the mess of flying bullets and punching one of Seong’s men in the gut, then shooting him between the eyes. His blood splatters against the side of her suit as she kicks his body away, continuing her advance until she makes it out of the entrance of the hideout, and into a split hallway.
Bada keeps her pistol trained up and ears keen as she hears Lusher’s sniper bullets break through glass windows and hit some of the men still flocking to the entrance. An emergency alarm begins to blare in the hideout, red lights bathing Bada’s figure as she studies both paths ahead of her.
Suddenly to her right, she hears loud footsteps approaching and whips around to face a man running down the hallway. Thinking quickly, she shoots him in the foot before he has the chance to reach for his gun. He falls to the floor, screaming in pain whilst clutching his wounded foot. Bada walks over to him, kicking his gun away then aiming her pistol at his head.
“Where is she?” She yells over the loud, blaring alarm.
“I don’t know who you’re talking about.” The lackey wails.
“Yes you do. Tell me or I’ll kill you!” Bada places her pistol on the man’s forehead, making his pathetic wailing increase.
“Okay, okay, just please don’t shoot me!” He begs.
Bada grabs the man by his clothes, hoisting him up and pushing him forward, causing him to stumble and almost fall onto the floor again. “Show me the way, now!”
The man cries as he hobbles forward, leading her in your direction.
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“Fifty-five, fifty-six, fifty-seven…” your voice mutters amidst the silence, keeping track of the minutes passing by since Seong left. You stare at the steel door separating you from your freedom, hoping with every minute you count, Bada gets closer to finding and rescuing you.
It’s at minute forty-two when bright, red lights flood your room, blinding you and throwing you off your count as loud alarms sound outside. You sit up, your heart beating wildly in your chest.
“Bada…” you sigh in relief. She came for you.
Another five minutes pass before you hear movement coming towards your room, making you scramble towards the door. But when it opens, you’re not greeted by the sight of your fiancée. No, instead, Seong rushes inside, her red hair ruffled and her breaths uneven as she closes the door behind her.
“Fucking–” She mutters, her eyes finding you instantly.
“I told you.” You smirk. “You’re all dead.”
Seong stares back at you silently before charging up to you and slapping you across the face. You shriek and recoil back as she breaks into manic laughter, pulling out a gun from her pocket. “Maybe, but if I die, you’re coming with me, sweetheart.” She clicks the safety off, her finger in position to press against the trigger when three loud bangs come from outside your prison, making you scramble back in shock, and Seong turn to face the door.
A long moment of tense silence follows before the door to your prison slowly creeks open, Seong gulping as the hand holding her gun starts to tremble. Right before the door fully swings open, a shot is fired from the person outside, grazing Seong’s cheek and making her cower away.
She runs over to you, picks you up from the floor and holds onto you by your throat, her gun pressed up against your temple. "Don't get any closer, Bada Lee,” Seong yells, digging her fingers into your throat. “or I’ll kill her!”
Bada side-steps away from the door, revealing one of Seong’s men dead behind her, blood leaking from his foot and his forehead. “Let her go, Seong,” Bada demands. “Your problem is with me, not with her.”
“But that’s just the thing, isn’t it? When you hurt one person, the people you care about suffer!” Seong laughs maniacally. “You had no mercy for my family, so why should I have any for yours?”
“You did all of this because I refused to sell your drugs?” Bada spits, her voice dripping with venom. “You’re pathetic, just like your father.”
Seong’s face reflects sheer anger in response to Bada’s words. She’s about to pull the trigger of her gun when Bada shoots first. She hits Seong in the knee, causing her to collapse and shoot the ceiling instead of you. You scramble away as Bada lunges forward, tackling Seong and knocking the gun out of her hand before she can try to shoot at you again.
Unfortunately, Seong is strong as well and fights back against Bada for her gun, both trading blows with each other until Seong manages to get Bada’s gun from her grasp. She pistol whips Bada in the face, giving her a cut across the nose as Bada falls to the floor, blood falling from her wound.
“Not so tough now, huh, Lee?” Seong screams as she points Bada’s very own gun at her.
“You should know that even if you kill me,” Bada says through heaving breaths, “you’ll still never make it out of this building alive.”
Seong bares her teeth at Bada, pushing her gun closer to her temple. “You’ll still be dead.”
“Don’t!” You scream, emerging from behind Seong, holding her gun. “Put the gun down or I’ll shoot.”
Seong clicks her tongue, laughing condescendingly as she turns to face you. “You don’t have the guts to kill me.”
“But I do.” Bada jabs her fist into Seong’s stomach, knocking the woman off of her and the air out of her lungs. Bada takes her gun back and places it in her pocket as the woman with red hair heaves against the floor, her eyes the size of saucers.
Bada walks over to your trembling figure, her gaze soft as her hands come up to grab yours that are still holding onto Seong’s gun.
“It’s okay, you’re okay.” She whispers tenderly into your ear, bringing you against her chest as she quietly soothes your shaky breaths.
“I thought you were–” You begin, the words falling from your mouth through gasps.
“I know, I know.” She shushes you. “Everything’s all right now. Give me the gun, honey.” You let go of Seong’s gun, allowing Bada to take it into her hands as she faces the red-haired woman who’s writhing on the floor. “You should have known better than to touch the people I care about, Seong.” Bada’s voice is cold, and more charged with rage than you’ve ever heard her carry before. “You’ll always be your father’s waste of a daughter.”
Through Seong’s choking breaths, you hear a sob wrack her voice, tears falling from her eyes and running down the sides of her face.
Before Bada pulls the trigger, her unoccupied hand comes down to shield your eyes. “Don’t look,” She whispers softly, “and cover your ears.” With tears streaming down your face, you plug your ears and shut your eyes, a deafening shot following soon after. A few minutes pass before you feel Bada move you around, hugging you close to her chest as she breathes a sigh of relief. “It’s over.”
It’s like the floodgates open at the sound of Bada’s soothing voice because you start to sob violently into her chest, wishing you could cling onto her, but you can’t your hands still restrained by handcuffs. “Bada.” You cry, burying your face into her warm body heat.
“I know, I’m so sorry.” She whispers. “I came as fast as I could.”
“I thought she was going to shoot you.” You sob. “I was so scared–”
“Shh, it’s all right honey, I promise. I’m okay.” She pats the back of your head before pulling away to gaze into your eyes. They’re wide and filled with tears, but so infinitely beautiful to her. Bada wipes your tears away with her thumb, smiling softly at you. She takes a step back, taking off her suit jacket before placing it onto your shoulders and rubbing up and down your arms. “Let’s go home, okay?”
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Bada’s room is warm, the atmosphere a far cry from the prison you’d been held in. You sit on Bada’s fluffy bed, staring into the distance with a faraway expression while waiting for her to return.
Thankfully she does as soon as the thought crosses your mind. She makes her presence known by knocking gently on the wood of her bedroom door. “Can I come in?”
“Yes.” You croak.
Bada enters the room with a mug of piping tea in one hand, and uses her unoccupied one to close the door behind her. She sits next to you on the bed, handing you the mug while muttering a soft warning about how hot it is.
“Thank you.” You say quietly, taking the drink and blowing on it.
Bada places her big hand on your thigh, rubbing it gently as she looks into your downcast eyes. “How are you feeling?”
“Better now that you’re here.” You admit, staring at the ripples in the tea caused by your breath.
“I’m glad.” Bada’s eyes move from yours to your hands, noticing how red and raw your wrists are. She removes her hand from your thigh, gently touching your wrist so she can turn it over to get a better look at it. “Should I get you some pain medicine?”
“No.” You answer quickly, your eyes shooting up from your tea and meeting hers. “Stay with me, please.”
Bada nods silently, rubbing the skin just above your wrist. “I’m sorry.” She whispers grimly. “You got hurt because of me.”
You stare at Bada with an incredulous look, shaking your head rapidly. “It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t lied to you and went to that party, Seong would have never been able to get to me–”
“You went to that party because you missed your friends,” Bada argues back lightly. “I deprived you of a social life in my obsession with keeping you safe, and look at where it got us.”
“Bada Lee, this is not your fault.” You say firmly. “You saved my life.”
Bada looks like she wants to argue more, but holds herself back. The silence between you two allows your still-racing mind to catch up, and you suddenly sit up, eyes wide and full of sorrow.
"What is it?" Bada questions, noticing your expression.
"Bada..." you trail off, turning to the side to grab something you'd hidden. Facing her again, her mother's broken necklace is in the palm of you hand. "I'm so sorry. I tried to keep it safe..."
Bada takes the necklace out of your hand and holds it up in front of you both. "I don't care."
"What?" You breathe incredulously. "But Bada, it was your mother's–"
"And it can be fixed." She says softly. “I’m just glad you’re safe.”
Your look of shock melts into a sappy smile. “Me too.” You agree, placing your mug-free hand on top of Bada’s. She moves her hand around, weaving your fingers together tenderly as her thumb swipes across the skin of your hand.
“Did Seong hurt you anywhere else?” Bada asks, scanning your face for injuries.
You turn your face to your right, showing her your left cheek, which is now slightly bruised. “She slapped me.”
Bada’s eyes take in your injured cheek, a storm of emotions flashing in her irises for nothing more than a split second before she masks it with a caring expression. She brings up your arm so that it’s in front of her, places her lips on your hurt wrist, then she brings it back down and brushes her other hand across your left cheek. She leans in, pressing a soft kiss to each of the growing bruises.
When she’s done she leans back, nothing but pure care in her eyes as she gazes at you.
“Can I ask you something?” You mumble, butterflies dancing in the pit of your stomach.
“You can ask me anything, honey,” Bada whispers, tracing shapes onto your hands. 
“You always kiss my injuries.” You point out, careful to keep your voice sweet so she knows you like her display of affection. “Is there a reason why?”
Bada’s eyes leave yours for a brief moment, finding something above your head and gazing there before her eyes move back to you. “My mother, she used to…” she trails off, “she used to do that when I was younger. It always made me feel better.”
You smile softly at Bada, warmth flooding your veins. “That’s beautiful.”
She smiles back at you, muttering a soft thank you. You both allow a comfortable silence to fill the room until an idea pops into your head.
You quickly place your mug of tea on Bada’s beside table, then turn to face her. She gives you a confused expression when you take both of her hands and lift them up. Bada’s long fingers curl against yours, displaying her bloody and bruised knuckles. You lean down, placing a soft kiss next to each of them, unable to see how Bada’s eyes widen at your actions until you pull away.
When you look back at her, she’s looking at you like you hung the stars in the sky. You smile at her, then lean up, placing one final kiss on her nose, right below the cut Seong made.
Pulling away for the final time, Bada brings you closer to her, missing your warmth as she touches her forehead to yours and closes her eyes.
“Please never leave me again.”
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❝ should my hands be stained with blood, let them be so, solely for you. ❞
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646 notes · View notes
roosterr · 1 year
Text
murphy's law
a/n: ive had this idea in my head for a while so i decided to dump it out of my brain for all of you to enjoy. somewhat inspired by lunarvicar's amazing wonderful fic to the flame i really love her writing so check it out yo also i haven't written anything in years so cut me some slack :')
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pairing: captain john price x gn!reader
summary: when a simple mission goes south, you get left behind in the confusion. you just can't seem to catch a break.
no use of y/n, callsign is 'vantage'
no physical description, but reader is (very) vaguely implied to be shorter than price
warnings: descriptions of injury (nothing too graphic), canon-typical violence, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, minor character death, i don't know how the military works lmao, lots of swearing bc i can't help myself
word count: 8.6k
read it on ao3 here
✹✹✹
it was a straightforward mission; in and out, grab what you need, and you'd be home in time for dinner. nothing you hadn't handled before.
ghost and price were on overwatch; the lieutenant was positioned with his rifle on a rooftop across the street, whilst the captain stayed in the suv with a laptop to keep an eye on the surveillance cameras around the exterior of the building.
you'd had your eyes on this intel for months now, biding your time and waiting for the perfect moment to strike. your opening had finally arrived, and with all that time spent planning, it was going so well.
that should have been the first red flag.
the second, more apparent, warning sign was that anything you found as you, gaz, and soap swept the building was either something you already knew, or irrelevant. how was that possible? the location of this facility was a heavily guarded secret, you'd fought tooth and nail to find it; why spend so much effort hiding something which had such little value?
you'd ventured to the second floor, up the damp stairwell and further into the eerily quiet building. there must be something worth hiding here, you just had to find it. you certainly weren't planning on going home empty handed.
you paused your movement into the dark, staring down the empty corridor through the sights of your gun. you felt your stomach turn, and swallow down the sick taste of bile in your throat. for everything you'd done to get here…
it was going so… well.
bringing your hand to the radio on your chest, you don't bother to calm the shake in your voice before speaking.
"does this feel off to anyone–"
you're cut off by price's shouting, a twinge of panic in his voice you aren't used to hearing from him.
"fuck– it's an ambush! get out of there, now!"
you're about to respond, when you hear gunshots from below you. soap and gaz were downstairs, where the hostiles were pouring into the building, and you were on your own upstairs.
the shots from ghost's rifle make your ears ring, even from across the street.
"vantage, get yer arse down here, there's too many of 'em!" soap's yelling brings you out of your haze, and you can't find the energy to respond as you take off running, back to the stairs you came up. "shit– man down! gaz is hit! they're coming up, vantage!"
you just about register what he said when the door to the stairway bursts open only a few metres ahead of you. diving into the nearest open room, you narrowly avoid a bullet to the gut, and slam the door shut behind you.
shit. fuck. fucking shit.
you counted at least four hostiles up here, and with gaz injured, soap would most likely be dragging him back to the suv you all arrived in, where price was waiting, which meant…
you really were alone.
well, ghost was out there, but he was a man of self preservation. he wouldn't risk coming in here to save you. not when you were this fucked.
your chest felt tight, now, and you could hear the enemies shouting on the other side of the wall. come on, you plead with yourself, do something!
snapping your head to look around the room you'd trapped yourself in, your eyes linger on the filing cabinets lining the wall next to you. you can drag them over here, barricade the door. 
prolong your survival, or delay the inevitable.
you hadn't noticed how hard your nails were digging into your palms until you went to grip the cabinet. the half-moon divots stung against the cool metal as you heaved it in front of the door.
now the hostiles are outside, rattling the wall with their attempts to kick the door down.
you drag another one, for safe measure. you pray they'll be heavy enough.
through the blood rushing in your ears, you can just about make out price's voice.
"vantage, answer me dammit! what is your bloody status!"
"i'm good– i'm good," you manage to get out between pants, never once taking your eyes off the door. willing your heartbeat to slow down. "not injured, just– stuck in a room upstairs."
"that doesn't sound good to me."
it all went quiet when he spoke to you. at first you thought it was just because your focus had shifted– because it was him– but it really was quiet now.
"yeah, i… they're– wait, they're not at the door anymore, they…"
hold on.
what?
"ghost, you got eyes? what's happenin' over there?" there's a sense of urgency to your captain's voice, and for a single selfish moment, you think he might be worried for you beyond that of a just soldier. your frenzied mind lingers on that thought.
the gruff voice of ghost brings you back to reality,
"they're setting charges– vantage, you need to find a way out."
charges. explosives.
all you can muster is a half-hearted, "shit…"
deep down, you know that isn't going to happen. you wouldn't have time to run down the stairs, and even if you did you'd only be walking right into their bullets. there's nothing they can do to help. and you think, deep down, they know that too.
this is it, then, you think to yourself, am i really going to die like this?
and for another fleeting moment, you're filled with regret that you would never get to see john's face again. all the stolen glances, lingering touches, inside jokes; none of it would ever amount to anything. would he remember you? would he even come back for your dog tags?
the tightness is back in your heart, but it's different this time.
your eyes still don't leave the door as your back hits the wall. the faint moonlight gives the room a soft glow, serene, and your heart sinks further into your stomach.
the moonlight;
the window, the outside.
not an ideal escape route, but these were hardly ideal circumstances.
you didn't waste a second with hesitation and backed up for a running start. you thank every deity you can think of that you always insisted on wearing a helmet.
this was going to hurt, but it was better than the alternative.
"van, you have to get out, please!" you're not even sure who's talking in your ear anymore, but you know who you want it to be.
for him, you think to yourself, i have to make it back to him.
with a deep breath, you take off into a sprint, tucking your head into your elbow and diving shoulder first through the glass.
as you free fall out the second storey window, you think you hear john calling your name, your real name, and you think you feel a flutter in your chest. it was almost peaceful.
and then you hit the ground.
with a thump and a sickening crack, you rolled unceremoniously and ended up on your side, in the snowy alleyway behind the building you were just trapped in; the building that was about to be demolished. your elbow muffled your pained cry.
right, explosives, the reason you jumped to begin with.
your teammates are still going berserk in your ear, yelling at each other or you or both, but you can't bring yourself to respond. you could answer them once you were a safe distance away– and when you could breathe without heaving. as you stand, swaying on your feet, you feel your ribs shift in a way they definitely aren't supposed to, filling you once again with the innate urge to vomit.
but you swallow that down; it'll have to wait, you need to get as far away as possible, now.
your hands braced your broken ribs– and you notice, then, that your shoulder is killing you too– as you stumble down another alley, leading away from the building. you slip and almost fall on the untouched snow, but somehow manage to catch yourself. in the back of your mind, you notice you lost your rifle at some point. you'd have to survive with just your pistol.
for a moment, you almost felt that you'd gotten away, that you'd made the perfect escape.
of course, it was too perfect.
the charges finally went off. you were thrown forward, and despite your helmet, everything went black.
✹✹✹
your ribs flared with agony at the ragged breath you took, blinking your eyes open as consciousness returned to you. darkness swarmed your vision, contrasting the pure white of the snow that was slowly freezing your extremities, and you fought with every bit of self-restraint you had not to cry. your eyes stung anyway.
how long were you out? you were still in the alley, and you hadn't been found by anyone yet, so it couldn't have been long. i need to move, is the only thought swirling in your head. with what little strength you could muster, you rolled yourself onto your back to look at the ruins behind you.
dust filled the air and coated everything in sight, obscuring your vision almost fully; but what you could make out, was the lights from your enemy's guns as they swept the rubble.
looking for you, presumably.
shit shit shit.
you had god knows how many broken ribs, your shoulder was fucked, and now your vision was swimming, and to top it all off you could barely hear yourself think over the violent ringing in your ears. this night just kept getting better and better.
it took everything in you not to scream at the agony as you dragged yourself behind a fallen dumpster, sitting up against the cold brick of the building behind you in an attempt to catch your breath.
in. out. in. out.
in.
out.
every move had your bones creaking in protest, the longer you sat here the more you felt every little cut and bruise and shard of glass littering your body. the dust in the air tickled your throat and threatened to make you cough up a lung, spots in your vision danced like fireflies, luring you back into the clutches of sleep.
no… i can't rest yet, you urged yourself to fight your drooping eyelids, i have to get back to the suv… they're waiting… for me…
the crunch of debris under heavy boots snaps you back to the present.
someone was approaching.
the optimist in you wanted to believe it was price, coming to rescue you. but you couldn't take that chance. your hand grips the pistol on your hip, drawing it out slowly to make as little noise as possible.
the shadowed figure came stumbling into view. your arm straightened to aim at their unprotected head, eyes wide and breathing laboured.
the man– the boy– locked eyes with you, flinging himself backwards to the wall opposite you with his hands held high.
your expression hardened. he was your enemy. his uniform made that clear. for a moment, neither of you moved, you weren't even sure if he was breathing anymore. like two wild animals, locked in a staredown, each of you waiting for the other to make the first move. which one of you was the hunter, and which one was the prey?
shooting him will draw his comrades over here. sparing him means he can call them over himself. a lose-lose.
lost in your internal debate as you stare at him, you vaguely notice his hand lowering to his belt, and in a moment of panic, your heart clenches in time with your finger to deliver a shot right between his eyes.
his body slid down the wall, a perfect mirror of your own as the life fades from his expression.
shit. again.
his friends must’ve heard that. with renewed, adrenaline fueled vigour, you scramble across the alley, and begin rifling through the packs on his chest and belt.
a twinge of guilt fills you as you notice his empty holsters. he wasn't even armed.
shaking your head, you find what you're looking for; a morphine shot. at least, that's what it looked like, the words on the label were swimming with the concussion you surely had. it would have to do.
you take the syringe carefully, and stick the end into the muscle of your thigh, through a rip in your pants you hadn't noticed before, and inject the solution. it would take a minute to kick in, but hopefully the painkiller would help you at least make it back to the suv where your team was waiting.
where price was waiting. god you hoped they were okay, him especially, though he was probably in the least danger of you all. what you wouldn't give to have stayed in the car with him.
pocketing the empty syringe, you spare another glance at the boy's face. his wide, lifeless eyes. the pack he was reaching for. the same one you found the morphine in.
he… was going to help you. and you'd killed him.
oh god. the realisation has your stomach turning for the third time that day.
you pressed his eyes shut and pushed yourself to stand. as you trudge your way to the far end of the alley, you keep your eyes forward. there wasn't time to linger.
with a deep breath, you steel yourself and begin to make your way through the cold, abandoned streets of the small town. the suv wasn't far, only a couple blocks away. it wouldn't take you long to get there, even with your injuries.
somewhere in the distance, you could hear terrified screaming, presumably the residents who were forced awake by the sound of the explosion.
now that the ringing had died down, you realise that you hadn't heard your teammates in a while. absent-mindedly, you bring a hand up to press the comms, and you almost start talking before you feel the plastic crunch under your fingers.
"oh for fucks sake."
of fucking course your radio was broken. it must have been crushed when you were flung forward by the explosion.
brilliant.
whatever, the suv would be in your sight soon anyway, you don't need it.
the cover of night made it significantly easier to hobble through the streets unseen, thanks to your all black gear. the enemy were still hovering around the destroyed building, but at least that meant they thought you were buried under there. hopefully they would stay distracted long enough for you to make it back.
god, fuck, you really couldn't wait to get back to base. you desperately needed a shower hot enough to melt your skin to scrub off all the dirt and blood from your body. the morphine had started to kick in now, but you still felt your ribs shift unnaturally with every heavy step. you'd definitely need a few weeks off to recover from this one, and you’d probably get an earful from the captain. you’d kill to hear his voice right now, even if he was yelling at you for being an idiot.
only a little further. then you’d be back with the safety of your team, with this godforsaken place in the rear view mirror. with the promise of being able to rest, your limbs seemed to grow heavier as the exhaustion finally made its way into your bones.
except, when you turn the final corner, you freeze, an ice-cold dread sweeping through your veins.
the car was gone.
it wasn’t there.
they weren’t there.
there was a stretch of tarmac that fresh snow just beginning to fall had yet to cover, tire-tracks that showed the u-turn the suv had done, blood on the snow from– you assume– gaz, empty bullet casings from the fight they put up.
but no suv.
no teammates.
no john.
no. no, no no no. they couldn’t have left you. that wasn’t how you did things in the 141. it was no man left behind, you knew that. maybe they’re just circling the area, you rationalised, desperately trying to calm your ragged breathing, yeah, they went to look for me. they wouldn’t leave me behind.
but they weren't here.
and as you followed the tire-tracks down the street, they didn’t go back into the town. they made a straight line, directly to the dirt track leading into the wilderness, clear as day in the snow. back the way you had all gotten here earlier that night.
your knees dampen from the snow, the painkiller in your system keeping you from feeling the impact. when did you fall over? there was no attempt to stop the searing hot tears this time as they ran through the dirt caked to your face. your throat constricted, lifting a hand to your mouth to muffle your hyperventilating.
they were gone.
long gone, without you.
they really had left you behind.
a mumble from somewhere to your left interrupts your breakdown. grief morphs into blinding rage for a split second; can i get a fucking break? you swing your arm still holding the pistol to point at whoever was watching you, twisting your abdomen in a way that has you gritting your teeth.
a woman, clutching her young son, shielding his eyes and ears from you.
you lower your gun. that’s not a mistake you’ll make twice. catching her eyes, you gesture for her to be quiet, which is quickly met with her frantic nodding.
it reminds you, you’re still not safe here. you were supposed to be, but hey, it looks like plans change. no man left behind– what a load of horseshit. you push yourself onto shaky legs, you only had a few hours until the morphine wore off, and you needed to be out of here before that happened. as fast as you could possibly muster, you begin to stumble towards the dirt track that disappears into the treeline, following the slowly disappearing tire-tracks.
✹✹✹
you managed to make it into the woods faster than you expected, and you found a fallen tree slightly off the path to take shelter behind while you licked your wounds. literal and metaphorical.
this was unbelievable. how could they leave you like that? if they’d only taken the time to do a quick lap of the building, they would’ve found you laying face down in the snow, and this whole mess could have been avoided. where were they off to in such a hurry anyway? it’s not like you guys had found anything sensitive. 
oh, wait. gaz was shot. that had briefly slipped your mind. perhaps you were being a little selfish by getting so worked up by this, but then again, for all they knew you could have been in the same condition– or worse. they…
your breath hitched. and not from your injuries.
they thought you were dead. that would make sense, in the chaos of everything, and amidst your panic, you didn’t really do a good job keeping up with answering your comms. still though, you were definitely going to rip them all a new one when you got back; or maybe it would be the other way around.
either way, you couldn’t sit here and dwell on it all night. you needed to make it to the safehouse before they flew back to base. if you missed them this time, you really were well and truly fucked.
✹✹✹
"i've gotta be at least half-way by now," you lament, flopping down against another tree with a grunt in an attempt to calm the burning in your legs and chest. the morphine had worn off about a few hours ago, and you were finally feeling all the bleeding wounds you'd ignored before. nothing lethal, you hoped, aside from your shoulder, ribs, and splitting headache, it was mostly just a lot of glass in your skin.
when you left the town, it must have been just past midnight, and at this pace it would be well after morning before you made it back. you could just about see the first signs of dawn poking through the cloud layer.
the snow had gotten heavier, casting a haze over the horizon, but it hadn't escalated into a storm yet. even under all your gear, the cold was starting to bite at your limbs. your lack of gloves was a decision you were coming to regret; if you lost any fingers because of this you really were going to kill price.
"fuck, he thinks i'm dead…" you groan as you stare up at the sky. snowflakes catch in your eyelashes and threaten to freeze the tears as they well up in your eyes. was he as distraught as you currently were, you wonder? was he even moved at all, or were you just another soldier, just more paperwork he had to fill out?
being in love with your captain was so, so difficult. a mistake, most would say, and you used to tell yourself the same thing. but after knowing him, seeing the vulnerable parts of him he keeps closely guarded, you can't bring yourself to care. seeing his expression when you gifted him the cigars you bought for him, learning his favourite drink when you all went out after missions, trading stories over paperwork in his office late at night. even after everything you've been through together, you know, in your heart, he doesn't feel the same; he's your superior, you're his sergeant, and he is nothing if not an honest man. it can never work between you two. but despite it all, the only regret you have as you sit bleeding in the snow, is that you never told him how you felt.
please, don't leave me here… 
in the back of your mind, you know they wouldn't go home without at least id-ing your body, but you were so shaken by the ongoing near death experience that your train of thought wasn't making much sense anymore.
the distant whirr of a helicopter snapped you back to reality. maybe it was… no, the 141 didn't have a helicopter here, which could only mean it was a hostile one. fucking fantastic. where you were slumped was right at the edge of the road, with very little cover from above. you needed to move further off the path, under the protection of the forest canopy.
with a laboured grunt, you pulled yourself back onto your feet, using the tree behind you as a crutch until you could catch your breath again. the helicopter was getting nearer now, close enough that you could almost make out the spotlight through the falling snow.
a brief jog was all you could manage to get away from the road. the snow wasn't deep enough to leave tracks that would be noticeable from the air, not through the shade of darkness. you still as the helicopter passes overhead. there's no change in its course, and you huff a breath of relief. at least you wouldn't have to try and outrun a chopper.
you watch the helicopter's silhouette fade into the night sky. there was nothing to do but carry on. you needed to get to the safehouse.
this was going to be a long night.
✹✹✹
hours, it had been hours since you first set off, so long in fact that it was essentially daytime. the sun hadn't fully risen, casting the world in a dim light that was just dark enough to keep you tripping over roots and holes in the ground.
the snow had let up a while ago, but the overcast clouds had stayed, the perfect match to your steadily declining mood. you thought you felt like shit earlier? if only you could have predicted how much worse it would get. you were acclimated to the pain by now, it reduced to a constant throbbing where your bones were broken. perhaps the icy temperature around you was numbing your injuries; it was either that or the shock.
ahead, you recognised a set of worn tire-tracks making a hard turn through a gap in the forest. there was no way of knowing it was the right way, but a spark of optimism ignites in your chest. maybe you were finally getting close. you just had to pray that your sense of direction was good enough to be leading you in the right direction.
you were right on top of the tracks now, and upon closer inspection, the pattern of the treads might just match the ones on the suv; you've had to fix that damn car so many times you'd know it in your sleep. they were messy, the snow making it hard to pick out, but you needed the hope right now.
this had to be them.
you go to continue down the clear path, to follow where your team had gone, but your luck just doesn't improve.
the mud slides under your foot, catching your ankle and toppling you in your attempt to struggle through. the breath is forced from your lungs as you impact the ground. you cry out through gritted teeth, feeling the strain of your muscles twisting far further than they're supposed to.
pain strikes through your ankle like lightning. drawing a breath is almost impossible from the pressure of your ribs. as you fight to sit up, the mud fights to drag you back down like quicksand.
fuck. another injury to slow you down.
muddy snow covers you from head to toe, the stabbing pain in your shoulder coming back in full force.
was that a car? the low rumbling from the direction you came from drew your attention, and you faintly see beams of headlights through the darkness. you momentarily forgot about your injuries, a frenzied panic making your blood run cold. another patrol. i need to go.
then, as you struggle to get up and out of sight, you feel a concerning pop from your kneecap, and you don't even have to look to know it's dislocated.
but there was no time to check the damage, you had to hide, now, or the truck would reach you and you'd have a lot more problems on your hands. you scramble onto your hands and knees, and yank your ankle free of the wet mud, practically throwing yourself behind the undergrowth just in time for the truck to round the bend.
your ribs are displaced again, injecting fresh pain into the shuddering breath you took, on top of your newly twisted ankle and dislocated kneecap bent uncomfortably beneath you.
it's a miracle you were able to keep quiet as the vehicle passed by.
by some stroke of luck, or just divine stupidity, your enemies drive straight past the space in the trees and your hiding spot. the headlights cast ominous shadows as they cruise by, but they didn't see you.
struggling to your feet once again, this time you give the muddy path a wide berth as you make your way deeper into the forest.
✹✹✹
one foot in front of the other. dragging your injured leg behind you. cradling your broken ribs.
just keep going.
limping through the mud took every resource your body had left, the effort of keeping upright was almost more than you could take.
how much longer could you possibly go, before you can't get back up again?
you couldn't lose hope.
ahead of you, a break in the sea of trees.
just one foot in front of the other. that's all you need. it's all you can do.
closer, stepping out into the open, squinting against the sun.
against the pale light of the morning sky, you see a dark shape. a building? you couldn't tell, you could only pray it was the warehouse you'd been longing for.
one foot in front of the other.
closer still, despite the bone-deep exhaustion in every limb. you could make it out now, the rusted metal siding and fresh tire-tracks in the mud. you were right there.
you taste the salt before you realise you're crying. 
almost,
somewhere between the agony, you hear yourself think,
still too early to celebrate.
your heart stutters. they were here, they had to be.
they had to be.
one foot in front of the other.
closer again, you focus on the keypad beside the door. your ankle twists uncomfortably as it drags along the gravel.
the handle became your crutch as you mustered the energy to lift your arm to enter the code.
seeing double, vision swaying as the edges fade.
a distant beep. a red light turning to green.
the handle turns under your weight, and the door swings open.
you find the floor coming up fast.
voices are all around you.
you give in to unconsciousness.
✹✹✹
the distinct hospital smell is what rouses you from your deep, dreamless sleep. hands prod at your busted ribs, drawing a scratchy groan from your dry throat. you grab the wrist of whoever is there as you fight to open your eyes.
"sergeant vantage?" they call out to you, and you realise with a disappointed sigh that it's the medic and not your captain. you open your eyes fully and see her standing above you with a clipboard in one hand. apart from her, you're alone in the medical wing. she notices you looking around, and looks down at the clipboard as she continues,  "glad to see you finally awake. your teammate gaz got off pretty lucky, the bullet went clean through his leg. you on the other hand, i'm impressed you made it back at all."
your ankle is in a boot and elevated on some pillows, and you can feel your knee is tightly bandaged under the blankets. an ache starts to form in your shoulder at the effort of holding your arm up.
"vantage, i need you to let go of my wrist." she says, and after an awkward pause you free her from your hold.
"sorry doc…" you mumble, bringing both hands up to your face and observing the tiny cuts littering your skin. you let them flop down to your sides again, but the aching doesn't subside.
"how are you feeling?" she breaks the momentary quiet, setting her clipboard down on the table next to your bed, "want me to get you anything?"
"i'd kill for some water…" you wheeze, the dehydration was catching up to you.
"alright, i'll be right back," the doctor affirms, making her way to the door. she turns back to look you in the eyes with a stern expression before she leaves, "please don't go anywhere."
and with that, the door clicks shut and you're left truly alone with your thoughts again.
your bones creak as you push yourself to sit up, your movements sluggish still with exhaustion, and you're reminded of just how badly you were hurt. everything aches, and it feels as though you'd been asleep for years.
gaz was okay, that's a relief. a little insulting that he got shot and was still in better condition than you, but whatever.
you look around the room for something, anything, to take your mind off the pain, and your eyes eventually land on the table beside you. a few cards sat on top, all with some variation of get well soon on the front, along with a small vase of flowers. you pick up the card closest to you and open it to read the scratchy handwriting inside.
'i swear you could survive a nuke, you're like a cockroach! get better soon, lots of love, soap! xxxxx'
what a charmer soap was. you chuckle at his lighthearted message, he always did try to keep your spirits up in times like these. as you place the card back where it was, your gaze is drawn to the empty chair next to your bed. there was a thin blanket folded over the back, probably left by whoever was last sitting there.
your mind begins to wander; how long were you out? your teammates clearly visited, does that mean price did too? you feel your stomach flutter at the thought of him worrying for you, watching over you as you recover. and if he fell asleep at your bedside? the heart monitor might call the doctor back if this train of thought continues. but then again, you doubted he'd be that forward, he would most likely be buried in paperwork like he usually is after a mission. and the mission you just came back from would require more paperwork than most.
because they… left you behind. that's right. you had to walk yourself back to the safehouse on all your injuries. who knows how long you were walking for but it must have been at least ten hours, considering the sun had risen by the time you got there. the butterflies were swiftly melted by the hot anger rising within you.
you were going to give him a piece of your mind, just like you promised.
all thoughts of the pain you were feeling are out of your head as you fling the blanket off your lower body. you grip your injured leg and lift it over the edge of the bed, swinging your other leg to plant both feet on the floor.
just as you were about to pull yourself up to stand, the door opens again and the medic walks in with your water bottle in her hand. she stops, an icy look in her eyes as she observes what you're doing.
you look back at her, debating whether you should give it up and lay back down, but your anger quickly wins over. the heart monitor picks up again as you work yourself up.
"i swear to god, if you don't sit back down right now," she makes her way over, setting the water down on the table you were using as a crutch. you meet her eyes indignantly, and go to step around her anyway. "no! you need to rest!" the doc puts her hands on your shoulders, and she stops your movement embarrassingly easily.
"fuck that," you croak, your voice still hoarse, "where's captain shithead? i need a word."
she maneuvers you back into sitting on the edge of the bed, and hands you the water. you keep your sour expression, but still drink half the bottle in one go.
"i assume you mean captain price? he's in his office, hasn't come out since you all got back." she takes the bottle from you when you're done, setting it down again, before moving to take the iv out of your arm. if she feels your glare, she doesn't acknowledge it. "whatever it is, it can wait."
"yeah right, i got a few strong words for him, and he is gonna hear 'em."
the doc hesitates as she works.
"i don't know exactly what happened out there, but i think you should know… that he hasn't visited you," she speaks softly, watching your angry expression fall. "your other teammates did, i even saw ghost sneaking out of here one night, but you didn't hear that from me."
silence overcame the small room again as her words sunk in. he left you for dead, and now he was avoiding you? even ghost visited you, and you'd barely had a single conversation with him. your heart feels tight again, the same way it did when you were trapped in that building.
"how long was i out?" your voice is low, almost a whisper.
"two days."
you should have listened to all the people who told you loving him was a bad idea. you'd almost died, and he still didn't visit you? that stung. god, you haven't even been awake an hour and you already want to throw up.
i guess i really don't mean that much to him, huh?
you think back to the night before the mission, when you'd sat with john while he did paperwork. at first, he tried to convince you to get some sleep, 
"you wanna be well rested, love."
but you stayed anyway, saying that you'd just sleep on the flight. you would rather spend your nights of insomnia with him anyway.
the two of you had talked for hours that night, about anything that came to mind. it was the early hours of the morning when you finally retreated back to your own quarters. he'd insisted on seeing you back, despite the fact that it was the middle of the night and your room was in the next building over. the way he'd lingered by your door as you said goodnight, you really thought he was going to kiss you then. but he didn't, and you went to sleep with a heavy feeling of disappointment that persevered into the next day.
"i'm sorry vantage." the medic sets something down on the end of the bed, and you turn to look. a pile of your clothes. "i know how you soldiers are, you're gonna get up as soon as i leave no matter what i say, so i'd rather you not walk around in a hospital gown."
she was right.
"...thanks, doc."
despite the overwhelming pain in your heart, you were still about to rip into price.
✹✹✹
you limp out of the infirmary after dressing yourself as quickly as your injuries would allow, which is to say, not very fast. thankfully there weren't any stairs between here and your captain's office, you definitely wouldn't be able to make it up them with your crutch.
the sun was already setting, a pink hue filling the sky as you pushed open the doors of the medical wing. you tried to think as little as possible as you made your way steadily across the courtyard. it would only upset you, and you desperately wanted to be pissed at him. you wouldn't– couldn't– let price see how hurt you were, he probably didn't care anyway. he was just your captain, after all, realistically there was no reason for you to be this upset.
but you were, and the few people you encountered in the corridors could see it written on your face, staying well out of your way as you shuffled past them.
as you stared at the closed door of john's office, your anger wavered. despite the ache in your heart, you considered for a moment that perhaps you were being dramatic. he was your captain, you were just one of his soldiers. it made perfect sense that he'd prioritise the lives of three others over yours alone.
it was his job, and he did it well.
you love john, of course you do, and that's why you're so affected by that fact. maybe you were letting your selfishness get the better of you. honestly, you didn't have a real reason to believe he felt the same way about you. everyone on task force 141 was close, that's the way things are, you couldn't confidently say he treated you differently.
but he was smart. he had to know how you felt, had at least had to know that you don't go out of your way for your other teammates as much as you do for him.
then again, even ghost had visited you while you were out, and you considered yourself much closer to price than him. so maybe he hated you now, he'd finally gotten tired of your poor decision making skills. it was the reason you were in this situation to begin with.
you were just about to abandon the idea of laying into him when price's voice sounded through the door.
"whoever's standin' out there, hurry up and come in, or piss off." he sounded exhausted, his tone blunt with annoyance. it wasn't unusual for him to get like that, especially whilst buried in mind-numbingly boring paperwork, but you could feel something else under the surface of his sharp tone.
well, there goes your last chance to run. you took a moment to steel yourself, to remember that you were in fact angry at him, and open the door with the harshest look you can muster.
he didn't look up as you let the door close behind you, keeping his nose buried in whatever report he was currently scribbling on. his hat was discarded on the desk next to him, and the hand in his hair was keeping it the messiest you'd ever seen it. you breathe in deeply through your nose.
"oh you'd love to get rid of me that easily, wouldn't you?" you spit, coming to stand in the middle of the room.
john's head snaps forward at the sound of your voice, the hand in his hair dropping to his desk, allowing you to finally get a good look at him. his eyes were wide and tired, you could tell the bags under them were darker than the last time you'd looked him in the face.
"vantage…" he spoke with something almost like disbelief, like he couldn't fathom that you were really in front of him. the hard lines of his face soften as his eyes meet yours, and then even further when his gaze falls to your crutch and boot.
fuck, how were you supposed to stay mad at him when he looks at you like that? you channel every ounce of bottled up frustration you have before his blue eyes consume you.
"well unfortunately, i am still alive. not that you give a shit; you got a restraining order on the infirmary or something?"
he murmurs your name– your real name, and as he rises to stand, his eyes don't leave yours for a second.
fuuuuuck.
"what? you leave me for dead, now the cats got your tongue?" you hiss at him, but you can feel the venom leaving your words with every second. the way his expression falls ever so slightly has you regretting what you were saying. you came in here needing to hurt him the way he hurt you, but you were quickly losing your nerve.
"don't do that…" he was almost pleading, as he made his way around his desk to stand in front of you, his piles of paperwork long forgotten. he goes to grasp your elbow, but you pull back before he can touch you. 
"sorry if you've already filled out my death certificate, i'd hate to cause you any more headaches." there was little fight left in your voice now, as you stared each other down in the middle of his office.
in the pause, john screws his eyes shut, turning his head to the side, before fixing you with a hard stare.
"don't. you know i would never've left you if i had any other choice!" it's not anger when he raises his voice, it's desperation; trying to convince himself as well as you. he takes another step towards you, toe to toe now as you lock eyes.
"do i know that? because from where i'm standing, it looks like you couldn't get far enough away from me," you can't help the way your voice cracks, nor can you disguise the hurt when you continue, "even fucking ghost visited me, but not you…"
another beat of silence.
"i couldn't…" john mumbled, eyes showing his mind was somewhere else. your chest tightened; every trace of anger was gone, replaced with the heartache you'd gotten so familiar with when it came to him.
"correct me if i'm wrong, but i really thought you cared." you try to take a step back, put some distance between the two of you, but he grabs your upper arm– successfully this time– to stop you going anywhere. it takes an impressive amount of restraint not to melt at his touch.
"of course i fuckin' care!" he growls, tugging you marginally closer.
your eyes hardened again; of course he did, just not in the way you wanted him to.
you jab your finger into his chest as you speak, your expression sour. "well you could've fooled–"
he grabs your hand as he cuts you off, and you can see the muscles in his jaw clenching, his face turning sharp again.
"bloody hell, just shut up! it killed me to leave without you, y'know that? if it weren't for simon i would've sent 'em back without me! i waited, as long as i could," he wasn't shouting, but you went quiet as if he was, any retaliation you thought of dying on your tongue. john let out a heavy sigh before he continued, "but you didn't come. you were stuck in that building, and then when it went up in fuckin' smoke, what was i supposed to think? i– we called out to you so many times, but you never responded."
the silence between you was heavy. deep down, you had already assumed everything he was telling you, but to actually hear it from his mouth had you choking up in his grasp.
"i…" you tried to say something, anything, but the words just wouldn't come. despite your best efforts, the tears welling up in your eyes were close to spilling over as your gaze fell to the floor.
john sighed again, softer this time, and using the hand on your arm he brought you into his chest, letting go of your hand with his other and wrapping it securely around your back.
you rest your cheek against his chest, bringing your own arms up around his torso, and revelled in the feeling of his embrace. listening to his elevated heartbeat, you wondered if he could feel just how hard yours was beating too.
"when you came crashin' through that door the next mornin', alive, i swear i've never been so relieved. but then you wouldn't wake up, and you were covered in so much blood… i…" his voice breaks, actually breaks, and you try to lift your head to look at him, but his hand on your arm moves up and presses into the back of your head, holding you tight against him. "...i was fuckin' terrified, love." he whispered.
"... why didn't you visit me?" the question you'd been meaning to ask all along, the real reason you had been upset at him.
you feel him press his lips into the top of your head, gently rocking you both where you stand. the crutch falls from your arm, but neither of you make any move to retrieve it.
"i couldn't. i couldn't face you, layin' in that hospital bed, hooked up to all them machines… knowin' it was my fault…"
"Hey, you know it wasn’t…" you murmur with disapproval; as much as you hate to admit it, you dug yourself into that hole.
"fuck, i'm– so fucking sorry love,"
"don't apologise… please, you did what you had to," you lift your head, and you can look him in the face again. his eyes were slightly red; if your heartstrings were pulled anymore they'd surely break. "plus, i was never really mad at you anyway."
he huffs out a small chuckle, his breath fanning over your face, the crease in his brow melting away as your eyes meet, "well ain't that a relief?"
"i thought you were pissed at me, and that's why you didn't visit…" you clear your throat and avoid his gaze, "i mean, i did lock myself in a building full of hostiles… not my finest moment,"
"no. as stupid as you are sometimes, i could never be angry at you." 
"that is a relief."
a quiet overcomes the two of you, standing in eachothers arms as the evening sun casts the room in an orange glow. you wanted to stay like this for the rest of time, but it was getting increasingly difficult to ignore the voice in the back of your head that said this was inappropriate. the way he was talking, holding you, had your hopes high, just like that night before the mission. the one where you went to bed disappointed. it didn't help that you were expecting the let-down now, if anything it only made your heart sink even lower.
you notice that, exactly like you, john was staring at you with an unreadable expression on his face. you tilt your head, wordlessly urging him to tell you what's going on. he sighs, scanning the multitude of cuts and scrapes that litter your face, "i promise you, i will never let anything like that happen again, alright?"
"i believe you." you smile softly, and you do; of course you do, you'd trust him with your life. it wasn't something you'd admit out loud, but you would do just about anything if he asked you to.
"i swear, i'm not lettin' you outta my sight." the look on his face has you squirming is his grasp, under the intense gaze he pinned you with.
"alright, i get it," you chuckle, your face heating up at the implication. this was doing nothing for the enormous crush you were harbouring. shuffling backwards slightly, you put enough space between you that you can comfortably rest your hands on his chest.
"i don't think you do, love," you feel his chest rumble as he speaks, and his gaze becomes serious, "i coulda' lost you. i thought i did. fuck, when soap and gaz came outta there without you? i thought my heart'd stopped… i just– i…"
it was rare to see your captain so lost for words. you feel his heart beat faster under your fingertips, the distant look in his eyes giving away the internal debate he was surely having.
"john?"
"if i'm out of order, say the word and we can forget all about this, but vantage…" his voice was low, and you felt your cheeks heat up to a boiling point as he cradled your face with one hand and leaned in closer, chest to chest again. the anticipation and the proximity might just make you sick. "you mean the world to me, i don't know what i'd do with myself if i lost you."
was that… what you thought it was? it sounded an awful lot like a confession, and you really really wanted it to be, but… was it too good to be true?
the lack of a response from you had john pulling back with an uncharacteristic cough that radiated embarrassment. he let go of your face, hovering next to your cheek as if he couldn't bear to let go, and you frown at the absence of his warmth.
"just ignore me, i shouldn't've–" he begins to back-pedel, going to move away from you before you cut him off.
"no!" you exclaim, with a bit more panic than you intended, and grasp his shirt in your fists to keep him close. "i get it, i really do. i- i care about you too, probably a lot more than a teammate should." your face heats up at the admission, and he lights up with surprise. "i think i always have."
slowly, he moves his hand back to its place cupping your jaw, searching your eyes for any signs that he was misinterpreting your response. when he found none, he smiled at you so genuinely you doubted anyone had ever been so sincere towards you.
"yeah?" he murmurs, the slight disbelief gone from his expression but still present in his voice.
"yes, john," you mirror his tone, bringing a hand up to hold the back of his neck. his skin burned hot under your touch.
"well thank god for that," his voice is barely a whisper now, as he draws your lips closer to his. the air separating you felt thick enough to be cut.
you let your eyes fall closed, and with a small burst of confidence, you lean forward and close the final distance between the two of you. he kisses you so tenderly, with so much emotion, it makes your head spin. you sigh into him, tilting your head and pressing yourself impossibly closer, revelling in the feeling of being in his arms at last. all your many months of pining had led up to this moment, and you felt like your heart might just burst. regretfully, you find yourself needing to break away for air, and to your delight he follows your lips as you pull back.
"maybe i should get injured more often, if this is what i get," you breathe, a dazed smile on your face as both your eyes flutter open, and his chest rumbles under your hand with a deep chuckle.
"you better not; i'll have your head if you do, love."
✹✹✹
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gangplanksorenji · 7 months
Text
No Control
Pairing: IVE Gaeul x Male Reader
Word Count: 3229
A/N: Hello Orenjideul! This is a legit BFH fic induced because I've been so down bad for 7 Rings Gaeul and you probably know why though... Also, this is unedited and rushed and hoping y'all enjoy reading this BFH fic. Have a great day!
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The fanchants uproaring alongside the ebullient shouts of the crowd never fails to send shivers down your spine, maybe, another cause would be the performance of the girl that absolutely killed the stage with her charisma. She never fails to make everyone drop their jaws on how incredible she performs and it's in her blood—and you swear to god, she's going to break the Internet with this remarkably hot performance.
You've been with her through thick and thin, comforting her whenever she's at her lowest point and being the paramount of all fanboys whenever she performs—all you ever know is that you're her number one fan and no history books can erase that even until the end of time.
The way her hips sway; her expressions exuding class and charisma; her vocals ringing around your ear that can absolutely melt you—it's everything you could expect for, well, you always expected her to serve and nail every performance she becomes in but not this hard.
God, you can't help it. She probably knows what she's doing and maybe you're the only one who can decipher the context clues—let me give you a hint: it's the way her eyes flirtatiously winked at the camera and lets her know how much she'll seduce you.
Well, you expected that—you always know she's giving her two-hundred percent on stage and knowing that you'll be watching and coming, she almost doubles those efforts and she doesn't really need to but she has to.
Maybe for her… to you…
As the stage ended, the pandaemonium of cheers broke out loose, every person admiring Gaeul's performance and anticipating for the others. As you're in the same boat with the others, a single notification lit up your phone enough to capture your attention as your eyes averted towards the blue pixels and oh god… it's her.
It was nothing much, maybe just Gaeul texting you immediately, wanting to know if you liked the performance—of course you did and probably else will be answering the same too—but it was something out of the blue… and you like it.
“Come to the dressing room quickly. Go in a hurry, I had let the staff know you're coming so they'll let you in…”
Well, that was unexpected but you didn't care. So, immediately, you excused yourself in the crowd and rushed towards their dressing room and once you got there, you couldn't believe what you're seeing.
Of course before that, you knocked on the door, nervous yet anticipating something only to know that it's only Gaeul inside the room and nobody else was there, not even a single one. 
“Where… are the o-others, Gaeul?” You furrowed your eyebrows, feeling uneasy as you didn't expect that it's just her inside yet you didn't really complain about it further—in fact, you love it when it's just the both of you alone together.
“Oh, they're preparing for other members' stages. I said to my manager and the staff that I need to be alone for a moment because of you!”
And then, she suddenly hugs you tight as you can see her gleeful smile, radiating around the room and rejuvenating your happiness. She faces you again with those endearing eyes and asked you if you like what she performed—
“Oh come on, Gaeulie—of course I really love it! God, you don't know how great your performance was! The crowd is absolutely screaming and really cheering for you!”
That earns a sheepish smile from the eldest, the curvature of her lips forming a smile that's too radiant to be described as thanking the fans and especially, you. You then kiss her forehead as a reassurance, and she whimpers silently because of your actions.
“Well, Gaeul, I know I'm here for a reason, right? Then what is it?”
“Hah, that? Oh, baby—” Gaeul places her hands on your chest, feeling the emanating heat of it even still with her gloves on as she looks at you right in the eyes, a look capturing your soul, demanding to be under her spell as she captivates you with her seductive aura. “—you don't know how much I'm feeling so different once I perform on that stage. You know the buttplug you gifted me a month ago?”
No, she didn't. No way on this earth she had that on—
“Yes, baby. I know what you're thinking…” Gaeul traces her finger onto your chest up to the heat of your abdomen, feeling the rock-hard abs she always loved to touch. “You can't believe it, right? But, yes, I performed it with that on and hope to god no one notices because that would be a little embarrassing if someone notices and of course baby, I made it sexier just for you—” Gaeul inches her face closer towards yours, her hot breath brushing towards you cheek as she allured you even more, yourself flustered upon this sudden escalation of this situation. “—and I became so horny after the stage to the point that I want to relieve it with your help, baby.”
God, she invites you so fucking well—you want to resist the temptation but seeing Gaeul being this needy and hot makes it hard for you to resist
Luring you to her utmost lustful desires is the first thing you wanted to hear escaping her lips, and you're loving this.
Yet, of course, she's still going to perform later so you're really hesitant about this—
“That's the point, baby. Let's not waste time here. Come on, now, baby—please, I want to feel you inside me…” Gaeul unbuckles her belt, getting ready for what's about to come. You then warned her about everything that may happen if they get caught and the possible consequences but she didn't seem to care at this point, the primal lust taking over her and letting it control over her body.
“Please, baby—I want you right now—”
And you agree. She kissed you because of it and there's no reluctant thing that brushed off your mind while thinking of it. You then kiss her neck, suckling on the soft skin gently and nibbling your tongue onto it as she moans silently in response. 
“I'm s-still sweaty, b-baby—ahh…”
“Doesn't matter, Gaeul. I love it when you're this hot.”
You continue suckling onto the porcelain skin as courses her way on undressing her bottom half. Still with that faint concern, you ask her how much time the both of you have until the no-return.
“Probably twelve minutes, baby—please, I need you inside right now! Please!”
Undressing your bottom-half completely as well, you tell her how she wants you as an answer immediately linger around your ear, your eyes lit up because of the thought of what she likes to do with you.
“I want to ride you, baby—oh god!” Brushing your fingers over her labia, she squeals uncontrollably as she tries to silent herself but fails to do so, earning a glare of trepidity directed towards her. She then brings her hands on her mouth, closing it as you continue teasing the heat of her lower lips. In response of your 
“Please, we don't have much time! I sweat, baby—please! Just do this sometime but not now!”
She begs for you and teases her within your own accord. You just need her to get herself wet enough for what you're about to do and with the thought of not prolonging the tease, you then stop fingering her pussy and immediately lay down at the leather couch, getting ready for what's about to come. Gaeul pounces at you like a wolf on its prey—and the only thing she's preying is your cock and you. 
You really hate to see her outfit get undressed—that's the reason why you got down bad for her at the moment: they way she looks spectacular and sexy in it. But, it doesn't matter, because you also wanna feel her walls clenching around your shaft at this given moment, also considering how the both of you have such a limited time for a hot, steamy session.
“God, Gaeul—if your pants only had a hole, I would love to see you riding me with these pants on—you looks so fucking sexy in this.”
“Oh, thank you, baby~ Glad you liked it!”
Getting a better angle at straddling your lap, she places her hand at your chest for support and strokes your shaft gently with the other, getting you fully-erect and in no time, she's now a step closer to engulfing the desired promised land.
“Oh god—baby! You're s-so fucking big—s-s-shit!”
And she’s so fucking tight. Her pussy grips onto your entire length like there’s no tomorrow and it’s probably for the best since the time is limited. She supports herself for the time being, getting used to the entire length of your cock as she gyrates her hips, herself starting to move up and down is probably the most euphoric thing the both of you are experiencing. 
Of course, it’s natural. The both of you are just exchanging moans and praises towards each other as the sudden serotonin running down your veins unable to make you think straight nor articulate such words—her pussy clenching in each bounce she does hypnotizes you into the abyss of lust that you couldn’t escape and all you need to do is to submerge through it, deeper.
In response, your hips thrust upwards as a recoil from her actions but she stops you, saying that she wants to ride you at a pace that she likes and not in accordance with what you want. She knows you want to help her, but being the (im)pure angel that she is, she lets herself do the job as you completely relax yourself, in a state of bliss and tranquility. The clapping of her cheeks towards yours becomes so redundant that it reverberates around the room. You find it hotter as you can see her thighs jiggle, the muscles ricocheting in every contact it makes on your skin.
“Gaeul—god, you ride me so well. You missed this, didn't you?”
It takes her seconds to respond as the overstimulation makes it hard to comprehend your question. “Y-yes, b-baby! I m-missed riding t-this big cock of y-yours! Y-you don’t know h-how long I’ve been w-wanting this!”
With minutes and minutes of Gaeul fucking herself onto your cock and riding you until her own ecstasy, she orgasms without even warning you, her legs convulsing and her pussy constricting around your cock as her nectar streams like a rivulet. She almost screams because of the sudden course of pleasure as your hands assist her as she came harder than what you’ve expected. Even after her orgasm, the cock-drunken Gaeul still wants more and you’re willing to give it to her no matter what happens.
“B-baby…”
“Yes, Gaeul?”
She then immediately reaches for your necktie and pulls you closer to her, unsure about what trick she’s going to show up her sleeve. As she bounces onto your raging length with a leisurely slow pace, you feel the urge of just pinning her down to the couch and fucking her there but on how hard she grips onto your necktie, you probably know it’s one of her growing kinks that she’s now showing you.
“Wanted like a collar to hold on whenever you ride me, hm, Gaeul?”
“Fuck—b-baby—you know me s-so well.”
Yes, read her like a book since she’s been gripping on it for dear life and possibly choking you—you even wanted this thought and made sure that you’ll take note of that whenever the two of you fuck again.
With this pace of hers, there’s nowhere on earth you'll be able to last for a minute as you can feel the tingling sensation on your loins, signaling your near high and probably releasing everything inside her.
“Gaeul—I’m s-so fucking close!”
When she immediately picks up the pace, you lose it. Symphony of moans escapes your filthy mouth as you’re already getting too close but she decides to stop riding you which earns a frustrated expression towards her, puzzled and perplexed on why she suddenly stopped once you’re chasing your own high.
“But why would y-you stop, Gaeul? I was so fucking close!”
She pouts cutely yet seduces you, her eyes burning in deep lust as she wanted to do something more with you as there’s still time left.
“Sorry, baby, but—you can’t cum in my p-pussy right now—no, no, no…”
Gaeul then lifts herself up, getting off on your raging length as she whimpers, feeling empty without your rod inside her. You’re still unaware on what she’s about to offer you as see the silver shining at her buttplug with the help from the fluorescent lights above and the thought of fucking her ass at this moment is beyond exceptional—probably, you’re foreshadowing yourself about it but you could never be so sure. 
She then positions herself on all fours and god—she just looks so damn fuckable and ruinable on that position. You really can’t tell how she wanted you from the first and up to now, you really can’t read what her thoughts might be at the moment but you know she’ll be liking—
“Yes, baby—see this buttplug? I’m just getting ready for what you’re really going to give me for today. You can reach out for the lube inside my purse and you probably know where this is going, right?”
You damn sure know where this is going and you could never be so sure about what’s on her mind. Gaeul isn’t really a stranger to anal sex—the both of you probably onto it even months ago—and that’s the beauty of it: you can experiment different things with her even in these risky situations.
Getting the lube on her purse, you hurriedly squeeze a desirable amount on your hand and spread it onto your still fully-erect cock as you play with the buttplug inside her snug hole, earning a small whimper in need escaping her lips.
“Please, baby—we don’t have that much of a time left—just fuck me in the ass real good!”
And you concur with her in this given moment. You swear to god, you just can’t wait until you feel her snug walls around your shaft and it twitches just by the thought of it. Now with just a few seconds of teasing her asshole with the buttplug, you give her the best stimulation possible before ejecting the metallic object outside her hole and replacing it with your lube-lathered fingers. You spread a good amount inside her hole and onto the rim of it, earning plenty of lustful moans from her as the noise outside it just a background sound as you averted all of your senses towards Gaeul and her only. 
You’ve been longing for this god knows how long and you could never feel better. Within a single second, the adrenaline kicks in like a truck as her walls wraps around your rod, hugging it for dear life as the tightness of her rim makes you groan in pain and pleasure, the lube aiding you to go deeper but she calms you down, letting you know how she needs to get used to the entirety of your member before doing the unthinkable. You give her a breather, a time to comprehend the sudden set of things happening within just a second as she pushes herself, impaling herself more onto your shaft as the both of you add up to the sea of moans that sails down on the ocean of lust.
“Fuck me hard, b-baby. Fill my little asshole u-up all the way to the hilt—god!”
She screams in delight as you push your shaft into her, developing a moderate pace that will soon increase as you’ve only just started revving up your engines. With a harsh grip on her hair, you pound her snug hole in the point of no-return, your hips in full throttle as you’re only clouded with lust and the urge to break her. The both of you didn’t care about the consequences that may happen as the both of you let your primal desires take over you—your animalistic urges dominating every action the both of you do. With the makeshift ponytail you made while ramming her asshole, there’s a point where you pull her head up as the once muffled moans now become deafening screams of pleasure as she cries in every thrust you do.
“God, baby! Please fuck me h-hard and fast, please! Use me, use me, use me, please! Hngg—ahh!”
She’s just uttering useless, repetitive syllables at this point—too broken to think articulately as you pound her asshole, bringing in an onslaught of thrusts which only aims to ruin her.
She’s broken and there’s probably a little time left before your breaking point and it’s all going to break loose from here.
“Gaeul—I’m going to fucking c-cum—please let me cum inside y-you!”
“J-just cum inside m-me, baby! I’m going t-to cum too!”
You’ve never noticed that she’s been fingering herself in tandem with your thrust as you're going to explode within a given second. Count off to five and you wouldn’t even last until four as you groan, giving her the last hammering thrusts before burying your entire shaft in her and letting everything break loose. You paint her insides as you let out your carnal desires fulfilled, filling her up to the brim. After like a full-fifteen seconds of an entire state of bliss, you pull out slowly only to see the little semen leaking out of her hole as she commands you to pass her buttplug, plugging it back onto her hole and wanting to store the cum that you gave her.
“God, baby—that feels, so fucking good… Oh god, you came a lot in me…”
“You felt incredible too, Gaeul…”
You then lean in to kiss her passionately, also exchanging hot breaths in the process. She immediately reciprocates as you smile at her, satisfied with what just happened as she faintly laughs because of the short discourse.
“Oh shit—” Gaeul quickly realizes that she’ll be up for a short amount of time so you hurriedly helped her get dressed as gratefully, her makeup didn’t get messed-up and her hair is somewhat, still styled perfectly. 
“This is not good. Help me get dressed?”
“Sure—are you okay though? Did I fuck you too hard?”
“No, my legs are a bit painful but I can still perform. Don’t worry about me, hihi~ Glad you trained me well in these kinds of situations.”
“You’re crazy, Gaeul…” You mouthed as you can’t believe how risky she took this but somehow, the both of you managed to get off without getting caught. Without wasting a time, you help her put her pants back on as she receives a text from her manager, saying that she only has two minutes left before they group together. 
“Thank you, baby. I’ll text you whenever we are already all set-up, okay? Just enjoy the rest of the concert from the crowd, bye!”
You waved goodbye at her as you still ask her if she’s fine and thankfully, she is and walked out of the room like nothing ever happened, maybe of course with a little leg pain and absolutely used holes.
She’s crazy and you love it, and it’s only a matter of time before everything comes to the right place…
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omg i really really love your blog<3 you are such a sweet person and so kind to all your followers and others on here and your writing is absolutely amazing!
i saw ur requests were open and i was wondering if you could write something for poe dameron? a hurt comfort because in your rules you said you wouldn't accept full angst which honestly is so real of you and i completely agree :D its just, ive read so many fics where poe's best friend or squadron member is either in love with him or fwb with him and he starts dating someone and they look rlly in love but then he leaves the person for the best friend and i cant help but always wonder how the person he left is feeling! and i was wondering if you could write something along the lines of this but he doesnt leave the reader and hes not really in love with his best friend or anything im so sorry this became really long but you can totally ignore this or say you cant do it its absolutely alright!<33
thank you sm though and i hope you have a good day!
Anon, thank you so much for such lovely and kind words! You are AMAZING! (Seriously, they have absolutely made my day/week/year!)
This ask has killed me (positive), my subconsciousness had a lot to say, it seems.
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Tangerine, Tangerine
Poe Dameron x GN!Reader Rating: M Masterlist | ao3 | want to be tagged?
Warnings: angst (but with a happy ending), thoughts that a partner is cheating, blood, x-wing fight, swearing (not star wars swearing, because even though Kriff is great, I need to say fuck), Moonbeam as a nickname, typos, rail road sentences, please let me know if I’ve missed a warning!
Word Count: 4494
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It was just a kiss. It was just a kiss. It was just a kiss. 
You’d misunderstood, you’d read the situation wrong, you’d seen incorrectly. It was just a kiss. It was just a kiss. It was just a kiss. 
Your radio crackled, “Green Leader, checking in. We’re manoeuvring in 5. Call out.”
“Green Two check.”
“Green Three check.” 
 It was just a kiss. 
“Green Four check.” 
 It was just a-
“Green Five check.” 
Just a-
“Green Six check.” 
Just-
“Green Seven,” you swallow. “Check.” 
It wasn’t just a kiss. 
You patted your helmet twice and rolled your neck, breathing deeply as you settled in. On your left, you could see some of Blue Squadron. 
This mission was straightforward - on a holopad. 
Two teams to escort The Harbringer, the resistance supply ship. It had been damaged by a rogue blast from a tie fighter just as it jumped to hyperspace and had had to make an emergency landing on one of Tre’Ral’s desert moons. 
The crew on board had managed to fix all they could. But without proper materials, there was little chance of the ship making it out of the moon’s thick atmosphere and entering hyperspace. So Blue and Green Squadrons had been dispatched. Blue 1-4 had already made contact, jump-starting The Harbringer enough to get it airborne. 
Due to Tre’Ral’s sun and planet density, the gravity on the moons was a little stronger than most world’s atmospheric pressure. 
Green Leader, Sena, had repeated through briefing at how this would affect flying. How to be ready for it. And she hadn’t been wrong, it was different flying here. Tougher. And you loved it.
You’d grown up on Para, a planet with a high gravity density. You’d learnt to fly there well before you’d flown in space. Being here on this desolate moon almost felt like home. Your movements seemed smoother, precise. No longer needing to overcorrect for your naturally ingrained harsh movements. No longer spinning out and fighting low gravity, finally working with the tide. 
The manoeuvre would see the ships escort The Harbringer out of the moon’s atmosphere and then the rest of Blue squadron would form a sort of 3D star formation around the cargo ship. All jumping to hyperspace at the same time to carry it along with them. 
Simple. 
In theory. 
Everyone had spoken about how practically textbook it was, how easy. 
But then, of course, why was Green Squadron going? 
No one at the briefing had asked, why would they when the answer was so obvious. This part of the quadrant was teething with First Order. With a slow, busted supply ship you were all practically screaming for them to come and play target practice. 
You swallow. 
You should be focusing on that, on the mission. Instead of the utter nonsense that was ricocheting around your head and piercing your heart. 
I hadn’t just been a kiss. 
You and Poe had gotten together clumsily, three months ago, your normal awkwardness drowned out by so much Polanis Red that you almost couldn’t see straight. It had been after the battle of Hurthwen, a nasty dogfight that had everyone hyped up on adrenaline. 
He had been drunk when he kissed you, you remembered that. 
Maybe he had thought… maybe he had believed he was kissing her instead. 
It made a lot more sense. 
Sena was the Green Leader, she was a great pilot. One to be reckoned with. She was kind, she was fun, she was beautiful. She and Poe had joined the resistance together, risen the ranks together. Basically inseparable. Always laughing and joking. She had been in the same squad as Poe, under his command before she was promoted to leading one of her own. 
They had always been close. Always. Best friends. 
Sickness bubbled in your throat. 
You remembered Frizz and Hank talking offhandedly, well before you and Poe were a thing. Both of them sure that Sana and Poe were dating or ‘knocking boots’ as Frizz had so elegantly put it. 
“Two people can just be friends, you know.” You’d said, trying to hide your little crush on the commander. 
“Yeah,” Frizz laughed, “But not them. You seen them together?” 
Hank chortled. 
Nonsense. You’d brushed it off then. Allowed it to creep into your thoughts when it was dark and the base was quiet. When Poe’s breathing was soft and light behind you, his arm around your waist. 
Him and Sana just made a lot more sense than him and you. 
“Yeah, but not them. You seen them together?” 
Yeah. Now you had. 
The Harbringer came into view over the horizon. The seemingly endless stretch of desert was cut through in the distance by a fearsome outcrop of crocks, leading up into a field of formidable mountains. 
Blue 1-4 were already hooked up to the cargo ship, all five hoovering moving together as they flew towards you to meet. 
You wouldn’t have said things were difficult with you and Poe. Well, you wouldn’t have said that before. It was complicated for everyone on the base, most staff were on different call schedules, off-world or on a mission at all times. Having a relationship wasn’t straightforward. There were stretches where you wouldn’t even be on the same planet for days, but…
But you had thought it was…
It didn’t matter. 
You’d gone back to the briefing room, just before take off. You’d wanted to tap the main holoscreen twice, for luck. A little ritual you’d adopted early on. Most pilots were a superstitious bunch. 
That’s when you’d seen them. Sana and Poe. Locked in a tight embrace, their lips pressed together in a deep kiss. 
Your heartbeat had thundered so loud you’d been surprised they hadn’t heard it. But they’d been too preoccupied to notice your presence. 
It was cliche but time had almost slowed, calmed and stretched like the moment you take aim, the second before you fired your ship's canons. 
A flash of the control panel had flickered into your mind when you saw them, your fingers twitching as if you had the trigger in your hands. 
You’d turned and left without a sound. Without a word. Without letting them know you saw. Leaving them to… whatever they did next. 
Was it their first kiss? One of many? Had this been going on well before Poe had taken your hand and led you outside so he could clumsily name all the constellations, making up new ones and backstories to make you smile?
“That one here, you see it?” 
“Yeah?” 
“That one’s the best one, best in the sky. It’s orange and it’s right next to that other orange one, like they’re holding hands.”
You’d laughed. 
“That’s me and you Moonbeam.” 
Moonbeam. That stupid nickname. 
You’d gone to your room quickly, the one that you and Poe shared, and taken off the necklace he’d given you. 
“I want you to wear it for luck, Moonbeam.” 
That stupid smile he’d given you as he’d slipped it from his own neck and onto yours. That stupid kiss he’d given you after. You’d thought that expression was cute when you’d seen it, pure. Now it just seemed like he’d been laughing at you, playing some sick joke. ‘How long can I string someone along?’, ‘how far can I go before they realise it’s all pretend?’ 
You’d left the necklace with the ring slipped through on the small set of shelves in the corner, the one Poe normally kept his holopad on. 
It was idiotic, but your neck felt… empty without it. Cold. Every now and then you touched at where the chain normally lay.A subconscious action only brought to the forefront of your mind by the sensation of your own skin instead of metal. 
Something caught your eye in the distance, a flash of sunlight glinting off the horizon. Dread twisted in your stomach as realisation dawned a second earlier than your scanners. The extra gravitational pressure and high quantity of magnetic metals in the sand affected everyone’s ship computers, causing a brief information delay. 
Your alarm sounded out inside your ship, the radar blinking into life as tie fighters approached from the rock outcrop. They’d used the high mineral concentration to hide their energy signatures. 
“Fuck.” 
The radio screamed into life, orders out pouring over orders. Blue squadron rushed into position while Green scrambled. 
“Blue in place now!”
“It’s gonna be rushed, but we haven’t got a choice!”
“No time!” “Incoming!” “Green half split! Evens left, odds right, let’s keep those fighter’s off The Harbringer and Blue squadron! Gamma pattern!” 
“How far away is the Delta?” 
“Calling in attack pattern!” 
You swing to the right, falling in with Hank and Petal and bank hard, it takes less than a second for you to notice that your squad's movements aren’t as precise and well-timed as usual. The stronger gravity throwing everyone, except you, off their game. 
That didn’t bode well. 
You climb for a second, punching hard on the acceleration to get some height and a clear view of the oncoming and flick on your targeting system. The image glitches, doesn’t hold steady even as you focus. Off by half a fraction. 
Shots fire out from both sides, most missing.
“Targeting not working!”
“It’s out!”
“I can’t get a clear shot!” “The read is malfunctioning!”
“Half a click 4/8!” You shout, as you take your shot, hitting two tie fighters head-on. 
“Good shot Green 7!” You can hear the joy and relief in Sana’s voice. “Half a click 4/8, you’ll all have to manually adjust!” 
You dive, swirling around two fighters before skimming close to the ground, trying to draw their attention away from the cargo ship. You spin, slamming your control harder than you would need to in any other situation as you turn and spike past another fighter, taking out one in the process. 
“Wooooo!” Hank yells over the intercom.
You laugh. “Bet you never thought you wished you grew up on Para right?” 
“Every day new things surprise me.” He banks left, you right, Petal dives down. 
It’s too much of a rush, everything all at once, patterns and shots flying, your ship’s systems screaming as you push the engines a little too hard. 
The tie fighters aren’t moving as fast as they normally do, bogged down even more than the x wings by the gravity. They can’t make their normal quick turns and it’s affecting their strike patterns. 
Good. 
But there’s so, so many of them. 
Explosions fly debris out, and you climb higher. Needing a clear view and unable to rely on your targeting systems. 
More shots fly out, The Harbringer is taking a battering but so far its shielding is holding the hull together. 
The radio keeps screaming, overlapping voices that blur into background noise. You’re trained to only hear your call signal, direct messages. You vear off, narrowingly missing a blast to your wing. 
“-On my tail.” Frizz’s voice cuts through the noise, a sharp stab of dread slicing you open as you turn, automatically looking to the reader, it’s still not clear. 
You climb, twist, fall, see a Green ship, followed tightly by two fighters. Accelsorate, bank. You fire. You’re aiming in a panic now, not adjusting right, not breathing through. 
The shot hits one, before you have to swerve to avoid being struck head-on. 
“Thanks 7!” Cril yells over the speaker, managing to shake the other fighter. 
There’s a scream, a crackle of sound over the system. A sound you know too well. You see the ship crash into the desert, exploding before it even hits the ground as the a tie fighter’s shots hit home. 
Frizz.
“No…” 
“Check!” Sana yells, unable to tell who went down with the system glitching. “Green Leader!”
You swerve around another fighter, everything moving so fast, too fast.
“Green Two check!” Cril.
“Green Three check!” Petal. 
Nothing. 
“Green Four!” Sana yells. No call replies. Balna. Not Frizz. 
The momentary rush of relief at Frizz being alive is cut horribly short by the image of Balna’s kind face that bursts behind your eyes. 
You bank left, right, swerve, take aim, twist. 
There’s a chance, a good chance that you’ll win. All of Blue is in place, The Harbringer is moving up with them. The tie fighters are taking more hits than the resistance, their less aerodynamic design hampering them more than usual with this gravity. 
All you need is…
Another alarm. 
“Oh… fuck.” You slam on your intercom. “Z-Fighter!” 
A chorus of yells answer you. 
A Z-fighter, a quick moving ship a fraction bigger than The Harbringer, with two powerful front guns. A few shots would take the cargo ship out completely. 
And with how slow the supply ship was moving, that wouldn’t be hard. 
The Z-fighter storms in, moving fast but not firing, they were obviously having problems with their targeting too, needing a close clear shot. 
“Take out the main cannons!” Sana yells, the panic in her voice cutting through the chaos. You turn, aim, take out a tie fighter but have to veer up at the last second. Twist. 
Someone comes in after you, aiming for the cannons, a fighter clips their side and they can’t correct quick enough. They spiral off, their ship crashing into the Z-fighter. Obliterated on impact. The Z-fighter seemingly unaffected. 
You loop back, adrenaline blinding you to everything, anything that’s not the goal. Take out the canons. Take out the canons. People are counting on you. Take out the canons. 
You fire, a clear shot before you bank to the side to avoid a direct hit to your hull. 
It’s not enough.
You need to pass again, and again. Other x wings flying in, taking shots, the gravity making them slow, imprecise. Only one blast hits and it’s not full on.You’re the only one hitting directly and it’s not enough. 
It’s not enough. It’s not enough. It’s not enough.
There’s shouting and screaming, the zipping of the fighters as they cut through the sky. Someone yells your name and you don’t hear it. 
Another hit lands. One canon out. Only one left. You can do this. The Harbringer is nearly in the upper atmosphere, they can jump from there. Just a few more seconds. You can do this.
“Black Leader!” Poe’s call sign cuts over the dim, followed by the call signs of half of the Red Squadron.
They must have scrambled after first contact. 
The canon’s powering up, a quick glance to your panel tells you that The Harbringer’s shield is barely functioning. They won’t survive a direct hit. With how close they are and the Blue Squadron ships that are attached there’s no way they wouldn’t be pulled down too if The Harbringer fell. 
The canon needs more than one hit to take it down, more than five. No way you can shoot five times before they fire. 
You twist, full force. Pumping the acceleration. Fire. Fire. Fire. Three hit. You don’t slow down. Fire. Fire. Fire. They hit. The canon is still operational. 
Sana is screaming orders, so many shots fire at the canon, none of them hit right, hit full on. 
Two chances left. 
One to fire. If it takes out the canon you just have enough time to serve up, to avoid getting smashed to bits. 
Poe shouts for you over the intercom. 
You don’t answer.
One to fire. If it doesn’t take out the canon then… then you crashing into it head on will. 
Poe yells again, this time cutting over everyone else, sending you a direct call. 
You don’t answer.
You fire. Hit. 
Poe screams for you, his voice painful and panicked. He’s already worked out your plan before you had even thought of it. 
The canon doesn’t go down. 
You cut the call to him. Blocking out his signal. You don’t want Poe to think you did this for him. 
You don’t want him to think you did this because of him.
“Green Seven!” Sana yells, seemingly knowing what you’re going to do. 
Hank screams your name over the radio. It hurts. You think it’s the worst sound you’ve ever heard. 
“Moonbeam!” Poe’s voice is ripped raw from yells, Sana has patched him through over her signal. You were wrong. That was the worst sound you’ve ever heard. 
You dip at the last second, not hitting the canon straight on but smashing your right wing into it. The force surprises you, even though you braced for it. The impact sending you spiralling. You try to regain control, try to turn into the spin. Training taking over even though you're a wing and half a ship down. 
Shouts over the radio, you barely make out- 
“-cannon’s down-”
“-Jump!-”
A spark hits, your console explodes into flame, shards hit your side and you yell. Sky and sand tumbling over each other over and over, and you manage to hit the eject button.
The force rips you upwards, free briefly from your burning ship. But you’re too close to the floor, not enough time to slow down your velocity. There’s-
.
The impact of the ground hurts. Pain explodes along every nerve despite the ejection seat dampening. You scream. 
Agony is everywhere, everything. You can’t feel anything else, can’t comprehend anything except floods of pain. 
You hit your belt, falling out and to the desert floor. Looking up just enough to gauge where you are, where your ship fell. It’s an exploded, fireball mess far off. At least it’s not an immediate threat. You crawl to the side and sob. 
There’s blood falling into the sand from your head, the right side of your face. You can’t see properly out of your eye and your left leg is definitely broken. Shattered. Still, you drag yourself forward, digging your hands in and pulling as something ribs and tears in your side, warm liquid soaking into your fight suit. 
The resistance will jump to hyperspace, they’ll get out. They’ll make it. 
You just needed to get away from your ejection seat, when the First Order doubles back they’ll see it, they’ll see you. You just needed to get to an outcrop. Hide. 
Make it look like you had a weapon. 
Make them shoot you first instead of taking you for questioning. 
Can’t let them take you alive. 
There's the faint sound of a ship somewhere above, landing gear coming down. 
For a second you freeze, panic gripping your heart, you dig into the sand hard, pull, pull, pull  yourself closer towards the outcrop of rocks. The air seems to be leaving your lungs, your breathing ragged and hot. 
You cough, red hitting the dirt, iron hitting your tongue. 
You crawl, pull. The pain is making you light-headed. You gasp, trying to get in a full lung full of air. It's not enough. It's not enough. It's not enou…
.
When you open your eyes your first thoughts are simple. Clear. 
I'm dead.
You were either shot in the head in the sand or simply succumbed to your wounds. 
But then things begin to feel… fuzzy. Not painful, but not right either.
And that's when you smell the Bacta. And then the light starts to change to distorted shapes, and finally, you recognise Hank sitting next to you.
“You better not be dead too,” you whisper your voice dry from lack of use. 
Hank jumps up, goes to grab your hand and then stops himself. There are tears in his eyes. He softly places his fingers on yours and you squeeze back. 
“You're a fucking idiot you know that?” He grins and you laugh. Which hurts a little, but feels good. 
“One sec,” he moves away just to speak to someone outside before he comes back. “I'm the one that picked you up, you know?” 
“Now who's the fucking idiot?” You smile but your chest aches, heavy with the weight of his words. “You shouldn't have done that.” You whisper. 
“What?”
“You were under fire, you should have just jumped-” 
“I saw you eject. Saw you moving. You think I was just gonna leave you there?” He sits. “Besides, I was closest. The commander would have blown up the whole planet to get to you.” 
You swallow, turning away slightly. Going cold at the mention of Poe. 
Hank mistakes the look for guilt, and squeezes your hand again. “Hey, look,” he smiles, “you took out the canons, you're a fucking idiot but you know how to fly in heavy gravity.” 
You snort. 
He smiles. 
“Who did we lose?” 
Hank sighs, “three…”
You nod, closing your eyes for a moment. 
“There-”
There was shouting from outside, a crash and then Poe stormed into the room, med staff close behind him.
You swallow, sickness building in your throat.
He looked awful, drawn out and worn thin like he hadn't slept or eaten in days. His eyes red. 
He rushes forward, Hank moves out of the way, so Poe can take your hand in his. He leans forward and kisses you softly, carefully stroking your cheek, being gentle with your bandages. 
“Moonbeam…” he mutters and you flinch back from him. He looks at you with sad, confused eyes. 
“Look, I can only allow one visitor in here.” The med staff member says.
Hank stands, and speaks when you frown. “I'll see you later, Poe’s the one that hasn't left your side. The only reason he wasn't here when you woke was because I made him go take a shower.” Hank smiled, “you can thank me for that later.” 
Both you and Poe are quiet as the others leave. Poe searching your face for something, while you look away. 
“Moonbeam,” he says again softly, but there's an edge to his words that you're not used to. “What the fuck happened on that mission? What the fuck is this?” He holds up his hand, his necklace and ring wrapped around his palm. His eyes are shiny as he speaks. “Were you trying to kill yourself? What the fu-”
“Poe,” you breathe. Best to get it over quickly. “I saw.”
He frowns. “Saw? Saw what?” 
“You and Sana, in the briefing room… before take off.” 
The small frown on his forehead relaxes slightly for a moment as his eyebrows raise. “You… saw?” 
You nod. 
“You, but, I didn’t see you when I pushed her away?” His voice cracks at the end, a splinter running into the muscle of your heart. 
“You pushed her away?” 
“You didn’t see that?” He frowns again, blinking hard, “you just, just saw and walked away and what? Took this off?” He holds up the necklace again. A tear falls from his eye and he rubs it away furiously as if it had scorched his skin. “Just, just left it and… and…” 
“I didn’t know you didn’t want it…” You say quietly, emotion is making your chest tight and constricted. “I didn’t know you didn’t want her…”
“What?” He breathes, moving closer and squeezing your hand. There’s disbelief in his voice, confusion. Anger, it’s deep down and controlled but it’s there. “No, look, she kissed me. I pushed her away, I, I even logged a report, I’ll pull up the god damned camera feed to show you.” 
He’s not lying. His gaze is unwavering and he’s got that painfully earnest look in his eyes. 
“You thought…” he shakes his head slightly, his voice pained, “you thought I’d-”
“You both make sense together.” You blurt out. “She’s… and you’re…” you shrug and sigh, on the verge of tears yourself. “You’re both the best of us.”
“No,” he shakes his head fiercely, “Moonbeam, no.” He wipes roughly at his eyes again, glancing down for a moment and you lightly touch his head. 
He looks up instantly as you stroke his curls, still lightly damp. 
“I’m sorry.” You whisper.
Poe shakes his head again, grabbing your hand and kissing your wrist. “I’m sorry.” He kicks off his shoes and clambers into bed next to you a little awkwardly. He’s trying to be careful, trying not to hurt you but needing closeness so badly it’s suffocating. 
You scooch to the side as quickly as you can in your current state and lean into him as he wraps his body around you softly and kisses you sweetly. 
“Love you, love you, love you,” he repeats after every kiss, pressing his lips to every part of your skin that he can reach.
“Why are you sorry?” You mutter as he holds you, “I’m the one that messed up.”
He shakes his head, “I’m sorry that I don’t make you realise how special you are, how perfect.” He kisses your cheek, “you’re the best of us Moonbeam.” 
You tut but his grip tightens and he holds you tight. 
“And one hell of a pilot.” He grins. 
You scoff. 
“You are.” He kisses you again. 
You nuzzle against him, settling into his touch. Knots have formed in your chest, pain that’s loosening. His warmth is comforting. Home. 
“Sana said she didn’t know I was in a relationship,” he says softly, resting his chin on the top of your head. “I don’t know if that’s true, but… I do believe her.” 
You nod. “She’s a good person.”
He moves so he can look you in the eyes. “Please, Moonbeam, I… don’t,” he bites his tongue, closing his eyes for a long second. “I want to tell you, I want to say, don’t ever do something like that again… don’t… don’t put yourself at risk.” 
You touch his cheek lightly. 
“But it’s not fair is it?” He smiles sadly. “We both do that every day… You know you were gonna be in my squadron at first?” 
You shake your head in surprise and he nods.
“You were, but… well,” he blushes ever so slightly. “I was so embarrassingly head over heels in love with you,” he laughs lightly. “For months I could hardly talk to you, you know I had to down five Polanis Red’s in a row after Hurthwen just so I could ask you out? I knew I wouldn’t be able to function right if you were in my squad. I knew that I’d put everyone else at risk because if it came down to it… if there was a choice between everyone in the squad dying, everyone on the base, or you… I’d let the resistance burn instead of lose you. Every single time.” 
You close your eyes, fighting the emotion that needs to break through and squeeze his hand like a lifeline. “I love you.” You whisper. 
Your fingertips brush against the necklace, the ring hooking around the first knuckle of your index finger by chance. 
Poe slowly moves his hand from yours and unwinds the necklace from his palm before carefully placing it over your head, giving you plenty of time to move away if you wanted. 
“I love you Moonbeam,” he mutters, his voice low, reverent. Then leans in to kiss you. You kiss him back with all your heart. 
____________________________________
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jihyoruri · 6 months
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— BUTTERFLIES: KIM CHAEWON
warnings: swearing, wow!kim chaewon x wow!yn i suggest you read my other wow fics before this one they’re in my masterlist <3
indie music filled the room, along with the smell of lavender coming out of air defuser, in said room was four ive members spending some quality time together.
yn sang along to lyrics as she lays her head on wonyoung’s lap who proceeded to run her fingers through the girls hair.
rei who was laying on her stomach across from the two girls brings her finger to yn’s neck and lightly grazes over one of yn’s many star tattoos, “I feel like I could’ve done better on this.” the japanese girl says referring to when she did stick and poke on yn’s neck when they were trainees.
“yeah.” yn replied lowly, her eyes still closed as rei gasps offended telling the girl that she wasn’t supposed to agree.
“I don’t even know why you allowed her to do that on you.” yujin said from yn’s bed, looking down on the girls on the floor.
“because I knew it would get on your nerves.” yn hums, her eyes still closed as she used to the feeling of wonyoung’s fingers through her hair, “and I like seeing you mad.”
a slight pain hits yn as wonyoung tugs on her hair, she opens her eyes and smiles lazily at the girl who looks down at her disapprovingly, “pulling my hair now jang?”
yn closes her eyes again before lowly saying, “didn’t know you were like that.”
rei’s laughs fill the room as wonyoung rolls her eyes and flicks yn’s forehead, “you’re such a kid.”
“leave her alone yn.” yujin says looking pointedly towards the girl who just waves her off, “she loves it.”
“sometimes I feel like choking you.” only yn can bring out the aggressive side of wonyoung.
yn opens her eyes and looks up at the girl who glares down at her, she fake winces and brings her hand to her neck, “promise?”
wonyoung let’s out a load groan as rei’s and now yujin’s laughs fill the room once again, “you’re never gonna win with her.” rei voices as her laughs calm down.
“I know..” wonyoung trails of before pinching yn’s cheek rather harshly which gains an ow from the girl who’s head rests on her lap.
“hey, yn?” yujin calls for the girl who rubs her cheek in pain, telling wonyoung that she has to kiss it better.
“yeah?”
“when was the last time you talked to chaewon unnie?”
the question alone was all it took to take yn’s attention off of wonyoung and on yujin, “a couple weeks ago, why?”
“I need you to do me a favour.”
yn raised a brow, she lifted her head up slightly and looked at yujin in question, “what type of favour?”
yujin sat up from the bed and looked at yn who had now switched her position and leaned her head on wonyoung’s shoulder. she scratched the back of her neck and looked off to the side.
“uh… I need you to hang out with her.” yujin said awkwardly, it shouldn’t have been but this situation was pretty awkward I mean who just asks their current group member to hang out with their ex group member?
yn let a laugh at the words that came out of yujin’s mouth earning a slap on the thigh by wonyoung, “why?” she asks rubbing her thigh before muttering to wonyoung to stop “abusing her.”
“she needs help.” yujin sighs, “she has a performance coming up and for some reason she’s having trouble with the dance.”
“what does that gotta do with me?”
rei laughs at yn’s words and wonyoung shakes her head, “be nice.” she says into yn’s ear.
“what am i supposed to say?” yn asks lifting her head to look at wonyoung who just gives her a stern look, in return yn pouts slightly and brings her head back to the girl’s shoulder and groans.
yujin rolls her eyes at the yn’s attitude, “yn you’re one of the best dancers I know.” she says to yn who blows her a kiss mockingly at the compliment, “so, I know that if anyone can help her with this dance it’s you, so please help her for my sake.”
yn lifts her head from wonyoungs shoulder and looks at yujin, “I’m only saying yes because you gave me an ego boost.” yn says to yujin who smiles brightly.
“that’s not good.” rei mutters in response, earning a glare from yn.
“ah! thank you yn.” yujin says as she gets down from yn’s bed and onto the floor wrapping her arms around yn, “this means a lot i couldn’t bare to see her so stressed.”
yn hums and wraps her arms around yujin’s waist, before looking at wonyoung and teasingly mouthing “this could be us.” in return wonyoung just rolls her eyes at the girls antics.
“okay,I’ll get the demo video from chaewon unnie and send it to you.” yujin says as she pulls away from yn, “you’ll probably start helping her on monday.”
“alright leader,” yn sighs leaning back down into wonyoung, “I’m hungry.” she looks up at wonyoung and smiles, “buy me food?”
wonyoyng sighs and pulls out her phone, “okay, what does everyone want.”
✮✮…
when yujin told chaewon that she knows someone who could help her with the choreography, she expected a choreographer that the girl might’ve known.
she did not expect yn of ive sitting on the practice room floor leaning on her one of her elbows with her phone in her face.
chaewon stood in shock.
it’s like you’re a curse.
she hasn’t spoken to yn since the last time she ran into her, it was a while ago but chaewon remembers it so vividly, the words fell off of yn’s tongue like water.
“I know you have a crush on me.”
which she did not of course.
that was a lie, yes the older girl has taken an interest in yn but who was yn to make such an assumption about her? even if she was right.
chaewon timidly walked into the room, she swallowed before opening her mouth, “uh..”
yn looks up at the sound of chaewon’s voice and a small smirk makes it’s way to her face, “hey unnie.”
“hey…” chaewon trails off, “so you’re helping me with the dance?” she asks praying that it’s not true, maybe yn was here to help her sister with something.
yn looks up at her from the ground and nods her head, “isn’t it obvious?”
chaewon doesn’t answer and just stares, no way this is happening to her she loves yujin but oh why?
yn laughs at the girls lack of words and continues, “let’s get started and not waste anytime.” she says getting up from the ground immediately towering over chaewon.
yn adjust the cap on her head and looks at chaewon, “okay, so I watched the demo and you’re doing monster by irene and seulgi.”
that was correct the performance was a cover of monster with a little bit of changes to the choreo to make it it’s own, yn was shocked to see that it was even more touchy than the original dance.
chaewon nods her head at the girls words and yn continues, “okay, who are you doing this cover with?”
chaewon let’s out a sigh and looks up at yn, “that’s one of the problems i don’t know, I’m just supposed to learn the dance and song do it with them on the day of the performance.”
yn furrows her eye brows at that, “that’s stupid.” she voices making chaewon nod her head in agreement.
“okay so you think you’re main problem is that you don’t have a partner?” yn asks.
“yeah.”
“okay.” yn nods her head before gesturing towards the middle of the room, “I want you too dance it for me.”
“what?” chaewon asks nervously.
“yeah, go on.” yn says, “I wanna see what you can do.”
chaewon nods and walks towards the middle as yn gets ready to turn on the speaker, she feels butterflies in her stomach and she doesn’t know why, it’s just dancing right?
when the music starts, chaewon can feel yn’s eyes on her while she dances and makes her even more nervous than before much less she’s dancing a dance that she’s not even confident on in the first place.
she looks in the mirror, to see yn leaning on the wall her eyes never leaving chaewon as the girl dances, the butterflies are back.
when the music is done and the only thing that can be heard in the room is chaewon's breathing she's sure she's gonna pass out.
she looks at yn through the mirror in front of them with a questioning face, waiting for the younger girl to say something.
yn gets up from the wall and walks over to chaewon, "you not having a partner and someone to practice this with is definitely not your only problem with this dance." she says calmly.
chaewon looks at her a little offended,"huh?"
"you're stiff." yn says looking at the shorter girl,"you need to get a feel of the music, you're supposed to be dancing sensually with power but you're dancing like you need to take a shit."
chaewon’s mouth drops at the girls words, yn being attractive really covers up her vulgarness, “well, if you know so much you dance it, show me.” chaewon says rushingly.
yn looks at her before shrugging her shoulders and walking more into the centre of the room, “go get the music ready, I’ll do the part that you’re partner is supposed to do, watch me.”
chaewon walked over to the wall and started the music she hoped that yn was horrible so she could feel some type of satisfaction but oh her hopes didn’t come true at all.
chaewon felt entranced when yn started dancing to the music, it was exactly like how she told chaewon it supposed to be, sensual and powerful.
chaewon’s haert sped up slightly as her gaze travelled yn, from the cap on her head to the crop top that revealed a lot of the girls tattoos, chaewon’s mouth drops when she takes notice of the big wings on the younger girls back it was beautiful.
but it didn’t stop there, it wasn’t just the way she looked was beautiful, the way she danced was beautiful as well, she captivated sense of the choreography so well for only knowing it for a couple of days, it made chaewon feel both impressed and a little insecure.
when the music stopped, chaewon heard yn take a deep breath and turn towards her, “how was that?” she asked but the look on her face told chaewon that she definitely knew that she did good.
“that was…” chaewon trails off, trying to find the words, she wants to say hot but…. “good, that was good.”
yn let’s of a low laugh and walks towards chaewon, “well, now what you know how it’s supposed to look like.” she starts, “let’s fix you up.”
chaewon feels like she’s on fire, when yn softly grabs her hand, the coldness of the star ring that yn gave her doesn’t do any help either.
yn brings chaewon to the middle before stepping behind her, “okay do the dance and I’ll stop you when you need help.”
chaewon nods hesitantly before counting in her head and starting the dance, she feels hot all over knowing that yn was monitoring her like this.
“okay, stop.” yn says from behind her, she walks closer to chaewon and puts her hands on the girl’s shoulder pressing them down, “this is what I mean by your stiff.”
“un tense.” yn says, her hands still on chaewon’s shoulders, “relax.” she whispers in the girls ear.
chaewon tries her best to relax but it’s hard when you have yn in the room but the tries nevertheless.
“good…” yn says before removing her hands from chaewon’s shoulders, “okay, so on this part you’re supposed to be moving your hips not your whole torso.”
chaewon’s face heats up slightly when yn puts her hands right above her hips, “I’m gonna keep my hands here so you’re only moving your hips.” she says leaning down slightly to chaewon’s ear so the girl can hear her properly.
chaewon does the move over and over again until yn removes her hands from chaewon so the girl can do it on her own.
a smile breaks onto both of yn and chaewon’s face when she gets the move perfectly, “you did it!”
“I did it!” chaewon repeats happily before turning around to face yn, her face heats up when she realizes how close the both of you are.
she looks into yn’s eyes before her gaze slowly moves down to the taller girls lips, yn truly is even more beautiful up close.
there goes the butterflies again.
yn was the first to look away, coughing awkwardly, “uh…”
“break?” she asks the shorter girl who nods in embarrassment.
“break.”
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ririblogsss · 16 days
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Ive been in a mood to write angst but I keep writing happy endings
So I read this fic ill link it when I remember the name, its basically a Suaci_al teen goes on a roadtrip before you know. But Damian escaped his mother and wanted to go meet his father, so he entered this teens van and accompanied her, and basically had a whole jurney together with each other so they could take Damian to gotham.
Anyways I got inspired by it, and thought what if the bat burger explosion still happened, but Danny decided he was more scared of becoming Dan. So he grabbed Sam's car and left Amity. During his drive he decided to honor Dani (who also passed) by going to each state before he went to the realms and locked himself in one of the darkest corners so he would never hurt anyone.
But when he was going through Philadelphia specifically he stumbles upon 2 teenagers fighting to the death arguing in front of a basically destroyed street. Danny mentally tells himself "not my crircus not my monkeys" over and over. But then he hears they are both child heroes, and he basically says 'FUCK IT WE BALL'.
Danny goes up to them and ask them if they need help with helping people out of the debris and the kids glare but relent. Cause they do need help in rescuing anyone that's in the debris.
As they finish rescuing everyone and taking them to the hospital if they need it or giving them to paramedics. They introduce each other. The younger being Billy batson (Aka Shazam) and Damian Wayne (AKA Robin) .The kids try to deny they are child heroes, but Danny just tells them he is also a hero and transforms, so they can trust him.
Apparently both Billy and Damian were sent to a nearby school to make sure nothing illegal was happening, but things got out of hand, as they always do. They bond over burgers (a veggie for Damian) and smoothies. The three fight about were the best burgers come from, Danny saying that the Best were from nasty (he gets a hazy look in his eyes when he mentions the joint). Damian argues that the bat burger are the most acceptable (high praise apparently). Billy argued for Big Belly.
In the end they parted ways, but Danny didn't know that both Billy and Damian snuck into his car. Look they didn't want to face the consequences of going against orders just yet. They had failed to tell Danny they hadn't actually been officially sent for the recon they sent themselfs.... oops
Look normally Danny would have been able to sense them or even notice the weird way his things were shifting every few minutes. But Danny wasn't in his right mind. He wasn't copping with his loss and grief as he should (not that there is a right way to grief) but Danny wasn't himself, so it wasn't until he got to savannah as a pit stop that he noticed the 2 extra passangers.
the interaction went something like this:
Billy: Can we stop now. I need to pee!
Danny: HOLy SHHH MaCaRONi!! (swearing the car almost causing a car accident)
Damian: Your spacial awareness skills need refining. But given your current position is understandable.
Danny: MY current position/?
Billy: Hahahaha about that you mutter and speak to yourself out loud a lot.
Damian: yes and clearly you are under no position to be making decision. So we are taking responsibility about your well being.
Billy: ahahahaha yeah no other reason, its not like our adopted father who is also our vigilante boss is currently hunting us down for disobeying not at all hahahahaha.
Danny: What the FU-dge stick
thus commences the road-trip of hell. Somehow Billy and Damian were able to convince Danny of bringing them along and trying to avoid the Big Bat.
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sturnrm · 2 months
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I’m literally sending this to everyone I need to read this fic idea
So it’s where Matt and reader are bestfriends and reader has a date but has never kissed anyone before so Matt says practice on him then it semi escalates (smut or no smut idm) and reader cancels her date for Matt ???
~ ITS JUST A KISS ~
Matt sturniolo x bsf!reader
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Warnings: swearing, kissing, ass gabbing, grinding, mentions of sex
I was at the triplets house sat on matts bedroom floor on my phone, matt was playing Fortnite and Chris and Nick had gone to get food.
I was messaging this boy who I had met at top golf a few weeks back and I was going on a date tonight with him but I hadn’t told Matt yet, although matts my bestfriend he is very protective with who I see and who I don’t and apparently ‘he just doesn’t wanna see me get hurt’ which is sweet yes but it has resulted in me being a virgin and never kissed a boy.
“FUCK” Matt screamed slamming his fist into the keyboard
“You lost again?” I asked
“Yes smart ass” he rolled his eyes at me.
I mocked him by mouthing what he last said and pulling a face.
“You wanna watch a movie and get doordash” he asks me switching his monitor off.
“I can’t today” I say biting my lip already knowing his response to going on a date
“Why” he furrowed his eyebrows
“I have a date in about 2 hours so I needa get ready” i say smiling holding eye contact with him
“Who”
“The guy from top golf he’s called Jack” I reply
“Alright have fun then” he scoffed, he picked up his phone looking away from me and fixated on his TikTok for you page
I didn’t reply to him I was definitely confused on why he didn’t ask any questions but if I kept my mouth shut I could just enjoy my date.
—————————
I had gone home to get ready and my date was picking me up in about 30 but I told him to get me from the triplets house since I wanted matts opinion on the dress.
I walked up to his room he was sat on his bed on his phone.
I was wearing a short black dress which was tight at the top but semi flared out at the bottom just barely covering my ass.
“What you think” I say spinning so he could see the whole dress front and back
Matts eyes widen “wow you look good” he smiles he sits up at the edge of the bed
“Thank you” I giggle
“What are you guys doing then” he asked
“Well he’s taking me for food then I’m going back to his to watch a movie” i say straightening the bottom of my dress out looking at myself in the mirror as matts eyes didn’t leave my body
“Here” he turns around grabbing something from his draw and throwing it at me “your gonna want this if your going back to his place” he smirked
I looked at my feet to see he threw a condom “seriously matt I’m not gonna fuck him” I pick it back up throwing it at him
“Why you can tell me allll about it after” he laughs
“Because I’ve never even kissed a boy let alone fucked one and I’m not gonna loose my first virginity to a guy I barely know” i say sorta embarrassed
“WHAT” his eyes widen with a shocked look on his face “okay I understand that you may have never fucked a guy but you haven’t kissed a guy” he asked making me more embarrassed
“Well you always crash my dates” I blame him
“Because the guy your with is always a dick and I don’t wanna see you get hurt”
I roll my eyes
“Well Y/N you better hope your decent at kissing or it’s gonna make things awkward between them” he says
“I don’t know if I’m a good kisser”
“Come here I’ll tell you” he smirks standing up
“What” I say confused
“Your my bestfriend I’m helping you out here, ill help you learn how to kiss them your date will be even better it’s just a kiss” he stepped closer to me “but only if you want my help”
Matt was the one person I trusted with my life and I knew he wouldn’t judge me but was I seriously about to kiss my bestfriend???
I stood there looking up at me not a word left my mouth
“Ive kissed a lot of girls they have told me I’m a good kisser it will be fine think of it as a lesson,a kissing lesson” he said cupping on side of my face with his hand
I didn’t know what to say I just nodded in approval
“Never seen u so submissive before damn” he laughed “but use your words I need you to use your words Y/N”
“kiss me teach me” i stared up at him
He used his other hand to pull my waist closer to him resting it on the lower of my back and pulling me in for the kiss
It was slow but I quickly got the hang of it moving my lips to the rhythm of his as my arms ran up his chest and wrapped around his neck.
I pulled back with my arms still around his neck his still on my waist and cheek
“Your not bad” he said pulling my hand to the bed as he sits down, I’m stood infront of him
“I’m not” I ask
“No but I think you need more practice” he smiles pulling me onto his lap straddling him
He pulled me back in for the kiss this time one of his hand on my waist other on my ass
My hands played in his hair, the kiss was stronger this time more passionate, he lifted the bottom of my dress up and moved his hands to my hips and pushed me down bucking his up feeling his dick against my cunt making me moan lightly
He pulled away smirking, he kissed my neck which sent shivers down my spine.
I could feel his hard dick against my clothes cunt, I knew I shouldn’t have liked it as much as I was but I didn’t want it to stop I wanted more, I needed more.
Matts hand went up my dress on my bare ass squeezing lightly still sucking on my neck, I grinded my hips slowly to feel some sort of friction, “fuck” Matt groaned as he froze squeezing my hips stopping me from moving.
“Don’t do that” he said looking down at my neck “you might wanna cancel your date y/n”
“If I cancel can we continue” I ask
“If we continue it’s gonna escalate” he whispered in my ear, I could literally hear the smirk on his face as he spoke
“Well deal then, I’ll cancel and you fuck me” i smiled, I don’t know why I said that but I was sure as hell being serious
Matt looked at me shocked but with a huge smile on his face “cancel it” he said picking me up and throwing me on the bed.
“I’m pretty sure we’re gonna need this” he laughs picking up the condom that he threw at me earlier.
————
this is pretty bad but leave requests if y’all want me to write something else 😭
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