#tangientiality

[rachymarie]

Some education/symptoms list about "schizophrenic rambling":

Hi, howdy folks. Today [edit: 2 days ago now, on Friday NZ time) I am once again experiencing a flare-up of schizospec symptoms after a day of overexertion yesterday, and I somehow managed to be organized enough (yes, baffling, I know) to group these similar symptoms all together. So I thought it might be nice to share. A little pre-amble (or rather pre-ramble, amirite ;) )/foreword of thoughts:

If you ever witness "schizophrenic rambling", please be considerate and don't make fun of them!! - as this person may be experiencing something that they can barely help, because of their brain wiring. Please think about what we are going through. And it can really be embarrassing enough for us rambling in public, feeling like we have little to no control over it when it takes over. So without further ado, (before I really do descend into a ramble, because this is just me getting started lol) the aforementioned symptoms:

Logorrhoea:

In psychology, logorrhea or logorrhoea (from Ancient Greek λόγος logos "word" and ῥέω rheo "to flow") is a communication disorder that causes excessive wordiness and repetitiveness, which can cause incoherency. [x]

Graphorrhoea:

In psychology, graphorrhea, or graphorrhoea, is a communication disorder expressed by excessive wordiness with minor or sometimes incoherent rambling, specifically in written work.[1] Graphorrhea is most commonly associated with schizophrenia [x]

Idiosyncratic speech:

What is the psychiatric term for excessive talking?

Idiosyncratic speech—sometimes referred to as "excessive talking," "non-stop talking," or "unwarranted talking"—lacks the urgency associated with compulsive speech, which tends to be intense and pressing. Idiosyncratic speech might represent a personality trait, a thought pattern, or a personal preference. [x]

Tangentiality:

What is an example of Tangentiality?

Tangential Thinking

For example: "I really got mad as I was waiting in line at the grocery store. I cannot stand lines. Waiting and waiting. I waited for a long time to get my driver's license. [x]

(this last one I really relate to)

Flight of ideas:

In schizophrenia, flight of ideas may include disorganized speech patterns, fragmented thoughts, and a lack of logical coherence. Common flight of ideas examples include: Rapid speech: Individuals may speak quickly and incessantly, often without pauses or interruptions.

Flight of ideas occurs when thoughts rapidly flow, often involving fast-paced speech, topic jumping, and difficulty maintaining focus.

Flight of ideas are thoughts that go really fast and might not make sense to others. [x]

Racing thoughts:

Individuals’ minds may feel overwhelmed by rapid and continuous thoughts. Racing thoughts keep coming one after another, making slowing down or controlling these thoughts challenging. [x]

Pressured speech:

Pressured speech means individuals talk really fast or interrupt others because they can’t slow down. They may feel like their words are rushing out [x]

Yes I know I know, unironically quoting Wikipedia lol (regardless, I feel I've done a good job and I'm proud and I can verify first-hand that these symptoms are real. The above is still better info than WebMD or a lot of other online health publications aka Dr. Google). But hey I'm disabled and this is the best I can do for now, running out of spoons. I've done what I can, spending hours researching and experiencing first-hand these symptoms, and it is all I can do this morning to put this post together.

So I allow myself to take the burden of proof off of myself for the day, and instead put the burden of further education of oneself onto the non-schizospec (we are tired enough as it is always having to advocate/stand up for ourselves to often deaf ears, please don't expect us or stigmatized disabled folks to always do all the work on abolishing stigma).

Obligatory pre-emptive defensiveness aside, I hope this helped open up your mind a little to just some of the many experiences of severe mental illness.

To non-schizospec/non-psychotics:

It can feel incredibly embarrassing for us "rambling" a lot publicly - but at the end of the day, at least we know we're usually "rambling" for good reason: getting our story/experiences out and actually expanding mental health awareness.

It actually takes a lot out of us to keep doing the full-time job of trying to educate you on having compassion for us and treating us better, so please don't let it be in vain, please listen to what we are trying to say, even if we may come off as incoherent at a glance.

Post-amble ramble:

Collecting and listing names of the symptoms I experience kinda helps me cope and make sense of it all and validates my struggles so I can forgive myself for simply experiencing symptoms. It can feel incredibly embarrassing for us "rambling" a lot publicly - but at the end of the day, at least I know I'm usually rambling for good reason: getting my story/experiences out and expanding mental health awareness. So I'm not just "being difficult" - I'm experiencing symptom flare-ups/disabling features of my disability; I'm not just "lazy" - I'm fatigued as hell and need rest. So if you wouldn't point and laugh at someone in a wheelchair, and find the idea of doing so repulsive, disgusting, unforgiveable, etc - don't point and laugh at us for our disability.

Sorry if this became messy and hard to read/too many words, but as per the point of the post, I am trying my best - and it took me three days just to get this posted/write + edit down all the relevant tags to fit within the 30-tag limit. If anyone knows more about these symptoms please add.

On Schizophrenia + Psychosis Awareness Day on 24 May (NZT, or New York time or later depending on my capacities closer to the time) I'm planning to do a bit more of a master list of all the symptoms I can think of off the top of my head that I have experienced, so stay tuned. Already wrote it for mother's day but missed that so figured it's more natural on Schizospec day lol

Extra keywords:

Idk if this works but, extra keywords for visibility/reach and possible other conditions to experience these symptoms:

anxiety, depression, autism, actually autistic

(Also the communities that have tended to speak over us in the mental health and neurodivergence discussion/community. I say this even being autistic myself. Please let other conditions into the discussion and not just the "cool/trendy" ones)

[dunsbar]

[me-sploh-rada-imas]

Being here in this city is both so similar and yet so different to the last time they were here eighteen months ago. They’re recording in the same studio and living in the same apartment, though it’s had a fresh coat of paint and some new carpets since last time they stayed here. Even this insomnia isn’t new; he’s spent enough sleepless nights on this very balcony that it almost feels like home. But within the band, it feels like everything has changed, the balance between them has shifted... Jan knows that the difference is Nace. --- Joker Out are in Hamburg recording their next album. One sleepless night, Jan can't help but think about what has changed since the last time they were here. Most notably, his relationship with Nace.

i was talking to @lovvecherrymotion about rooming arrangements in hamburg and jance and how much has changed since eurovision and when they recorded carpe diem and she gave me this prompt. no one on here actually knows this but i write sometimes and jo encouraged me to share...

i am so soft for these two and have ended up writing the fluffiest thing i've ever written about their relationship. so yeah. i hope you guys like it...

and a moodboard for the vibes!

[cadetheespeon]

messing around with more spider-holly au stuff, so here’s her sister rosemary as her nemesis.  she’s like if doc ock also had a business degree and constantly served cunt

[luminousp]

Occasionally, I do bedtime story reaidng streams! Here's a VOD of one from last week! We're reading from the Wanderer's Library, which is an open repository of stories (and a sister collection to the SCP article archive, if you didn't know!). See the lists of what we read below!

The authors are all so talented and cool. Please support by going to visit: https://wanderers-library.wikidot.com

Story titles and authors under the cut! Timestamps are on YT!

TITLE - AUTHOR:

Witch Season - Loiterer87 Library Rat - mxssacre A Misplaced Letter - Rounderhouse Cornelius The Goat Slayer - Uncle Nicolini Spiraling Shape - RJB_R An Undead Hymn - Prof Hassan Space Man - Avelon21 Egg - Stygian Blue The Wolf Who Wanted to be a Boy - Bryx The Exhibition - Skipmeister A Brief History Of Stairs - RJB_R Names - Dragonofelder Tourist - Florita Idolatry - Din-Bido

[ruvi-muffin]

I wonder what kinda graviturgy would be most efficient in stopping a plate from breaking if you drop it while doing the dishes ... obv levitation but like.. if you decrease something's weight enough will it simply bounce away??

How does That work?? What breaks a plate??

In theory, if you could change weight without changing mass.... would things be more durable or less?? How the fuck does That work??

.... man it rly is 3am rn huh

[tuiyla]

Have you ever listened to Dianna Agron's podcast series Narcissa? Maybe you should give it a try! It only has 8 episodes, features a sapphic love story between Dianna’s character and the other female lead (who I can’t really describe because she’s a walking spoiler) and the sci-fi thriller storyline is also really interesting and eventually converges with the queer romance plot. I also recommend it for Dianna’s beautiful and soothing voice and the podcast’s amazing sound effects. I'd love to read your thoughts on it if you do decide to listen to it. :)

(A few downsides, though: 1) not every loose end was tied up, but I assume it's because there might be a second season; 2) content warning: there’s one disturbing scene of SA).

I haven't! I assumed it'd be an older project but turns out it's from last summer, interesting. I do love Dianna's voice and can only assume things about the plot based on the title but sounds intriguing, I'll check it out. I've been meaning to check out more of Dianna's stuff for ages haha and I thought that'd be Shiva Baby and other movies but sure I can give the podcast a go.

Thank you for the rec and the warning, appreciate the heads up.

[cadmium-free]

I’m still haunted by the time I read a fanfic and the POV character was like, I can’t think about making out with this guy I just saw because it’s creepy and I’m violating him. And it was so incredibly off putting to read that, like, you guys know it’s okay to think people are hot, right? You guys know it’s okay to see someone attractive and wonder what it would be like to be with them, right!??? You’re allowed to think about kissing them!!!

[theygotlost]

moistsweep or whatever

[quatregats]

Was bored in quarantine and made an object, it just lets you generate fictional starmaps basically (mostly made it because I couldn’t bring my pencil-and-paper version since it was at the bottom of a box and I wanted to work on the map/try to redo it). If you want to save the images as .svg you kind of have to do the back-end work, it’s a little janky but if you copy and save it, it should work fine.

[rachymarie]

Anyone else relate to how painful it is to have to go out into the public when you are stuck on a sleep-deprived rambling/oversharing spree and can't manage to mask either the autism or schizospec?

Emotional dysregulation is REAL, y'all

[rawliverandgoronspice]

I absolutely love your analysis of the gerudo and Ganondorf because they put into words what bothers me about how TOTK portrays Ganondorf. That being they remove his agency as a character in favor of having some great evil against the good guys.

[Major story spoilers ahead for the end of the game]

At the end of the game, when you’ve defeated Ganondorf, he swallows the secret stone and becomes a dragon, like Zelda, fully knowing the consequences of what happens when that happens. And it’s just kinda left me with a bitter taste in my mouth? In the context of the story it makes sense, he’s portrayed as a egomaniac who just wants to destroy Hyrule. But compared to other versions of him, this one just feels more openly biased against him and the gerudo, with no reason or justification other than “he’s evil, hate him.” As far as I can tell… They never really show us that he’s done anything horrible or deserving of being feared before the show of fealty cutscene, other than not submit to Hyrule, attack them once, and generally have bad vibes. It feels forced how much they want us to hate him and the people who follow him. I’m not saying character in video games always have to be nuanced or complex but comparing like, Wind Waker Ganondorf next to TOTK Ganondorf…. 🙃 Waste of an excellent design imo.

Heyyy sorry for being a billion years late with this ask!! I was busy finishing the game!!! among other things!!! Thank you so much for your kind words, I'm super happy it resonated with you in that way!

I mean, the whole draconification plot beat doesn't really work for me. Like yeah, sure it's sad that Zelda is now a giant dragon and it's cool to have her soaring above your head while you have no idea where she actually is (a situation that isn't nearly tapped into enough in the narrative imo, like it gets obvious way too fast if you happen upon the wrong memory, etc), and I actually think the whole sequence of you removing the Master Sword from her head was the best scene in the entire game in terms of mood and emotions --even THOUGH it would have been so much better with a stronger story and stronger stakes-- BUT. How does that build up thematically?

I think what doesn't work for the Zelda side of this plot point (I'll get to Ganon next) is that... she doesn't make that choice. It's not like she's being tempted by an easy way out and decides to sacrifice herself for the sake of Hyrule or Link or whoever: she has no choice in the matter. Her powers activate (?? somehow? once and never again also, talk about dropped plot threads), she finds herself in the past, is the passive witness to a bunch of shit that only tangientially relates to her --it's like she's visiting estranged family in a foreign country and watch their drama awkwardly before being dragged into it against her will even though she was just trying to renew her passport and get back home (if there had been any callback to her relationship with her father it would have landed better, but it's just completely ignored so vOv). Then her relatives all die or corrupt or something, and she still can't get back home. What is she meant to do besides draconify? Grow old and die in the past? What would that accomplish?? Her adventures in the past are just basically about solving a shrine puzzle with a particularly weird solution --but the game treats it like a huge sacrifice when it's basically her only way out, and she lost absolutely nothing making that sacrifice (and then she... cries about the weird family drama? sure. Honestly I think it would have worked better if the tears were Rauru's, it's his bullshit everyone is dealing with right? He's the one who feels broken and aggrieved by the whole thing.)

So, if we ignore the draconification precedent builds up to zero thing thematically beyond cheap drama that reveals nothing about neither the characters nor the world, I think Ganondorf's case is a little more compelling because he does make a choice here: dying as he tries to achieve his weird lofty goals (and fail), or postpone his victory eternally by sacrificing his objectives but reject death and defeat --while also barring himself from victory. In a better crafted story, this could be utterly excellent and it feels very Ganondorf to me. BUT, my beef with that plot beat isn't that he chooses the second option, making him kinda active for the first time in the entire game (and makes an appropriate hideous smile: *loved* this second one, the first one didn't land for me but this one really captures the ecstatic insanity and transcendance and desperate madness of the act --I have nothing against Ganondorf offputting smiles and cackles when they feel earned, and the Sonia one just... doesn't to me, it just feels like weird rigging and mesh deformation choices getting out of control).

My problem is that his existence as a dragon contradicts everything we knew about dragons before --both for him and for Zelda. I thought the big issue with draconification was that you'd lose yourself to the act entirely, and would become this sort of organic landmark of infinite power and eternal life but without will to act on your precedent goals and understanding of yourself. But the second the big man becomes an evil dragon, suddenly Zelda zips in to the rescue (apparently remembering who you are? understanding she's meant to fight Ganondorf? I mean, this kind of works emotionally as a climactic ending and the power of love or whatever, again it would have worked better in a better story), and Ganondorf is still very much into destroying the world as well as you and Zelda.

Also, he's very definitively mortal (and he has the stone on his head again? And so if you destroy it you destroy his immortality? why???)

So... What I dislike here is the suggestion that he was somehow so evil and rotten and bad that all of these rare moments of interesting worldbuilding and ambivalence gets completely swallowed in the bossfight logic, making his choice (and Zelda's) completely meaningless in retrospect.

also: let Zelda remain a dragon you cowards, that way Hyrule gets any sort of chance to escape and reimagine its horrying eternal monarchy instead of re-establishing it even harder than before!!!

[justhereforqsmp]

topically relevant but only tangientially:

*furnitures your qsmp*

(if any of you have more ideas.. put em in the tags)

[ruvi-muffin]

This is a personal opinion so don't take it too seriously, but i rly dont like evil shadowgast aus

It's quite simple rly

There's no jester.

[starlightandsunshine]

So like I'm back to rewatching Charmed (1998, obviously, yay for like my first fandom ever) again for the umpteenth time, (in a randomised order, of course, because why watch chronologically like a sane person) and I was watching "That 70s Episode" and then looking at additional trivia and episode information as you do, and I came across a comment about how Magic School makes the entire plot of the episode into a plot hole or vice-versa, which just… No.

I'm not going to say that their haven't been some absolute ass-pulls in Charmed that create plot holes in earlier episodes (The cleaners vs "All Hell Breaks Loose" is technically one even though I have Thoughts on that) but the existence of Magic School is really not one of them for quite a lot of reasons that I can't be bothered to go into rn because this post is about "That 70s Episode".

Time travel in Charmed happens in an essentially fifty-fifty split between time travel that intentionally changes the past (like "A Witch in Time" and the whole s6 arc with Chris) and closed time loops/predestination paradoxes that essentially mean the whole thing was one long foregone conclusion from the start (like "All Halliwell's Eve" and also "Imaginary Fiends" if you take it from the time traveller's perspective and not like Piper's). "Forever Charmed" and "Morality Bites" are exceptions to this that sort of hang about in their own bubble for Reasons but literally every other incident even tangientially related to time travel is one of those two (time travel in Charmed is maybe something that I've put a bit too much thought into but that's a different post)

(all my thoughts on "That 70's Episode" as a closed time loop under the cut because it, uh, got really very long)

Now admittedly, I may be coming at this from a slightly different perspective since the first time I watched Charmed I did it out of order and saw a couple of the later seasons first before I watched s1, which means I already knew about magic school and was elbow deep in the shows mythology (specifically relevant here: whitelighters, which iirc hadn't really been delved into at all - I can't remember if the episode w Phoebe finding out about Leo and the little witch boy called Max was before or after this one but either way they don't really start building on whitelighters until "Love Hurts" and s2). But literally the first thing I actually thought about here was that it was a closed time loop where they basically contributed to causing the whole thing in the first place (and hey, I just remembered that there's a different time travel ep in s1 where a warlock comes from the future to change it in the truth episode, so in hindsight I was probably like "oh cool they're showing two different ways it works already").

But I mean really, lets take the time travel out of the picture for a second:

If the sisters don't travel back in time at all, how does this situation play out? Like, Patty gets threatened by a warlock into blessing a ring to give him immunity to her daughters powers and presumably goes home and tells her mother about it and then they bind the girls' powers after Phoebe is born and don't? do? Anything? About the situation. Like in the threeish years between being threatened and dying Patty never tries to do anything about this warlock that is almost definitely going to try and kill her babies? (lets be generous and say that she didn't want to do anything while pregnant, that still leaves thirteenish months between Phoebe being born and Paige's conception, and sixish months between Paige's birth and Patty's death, and even then she doesn't have to actively be doing anything to be figuring out a way to track him down and vanquish him or whatever) Penny "Battleaxe Grams" Halliwell doesn't ever go after him or try to do anything about him and for twenty-odd years just twiddles her thumbs about the situation while he visits every year??? (the very same woman who had a relationship with and then vanquished the freaking Necromancer!) Neither of them ever tell their whitelighter Sam about the whole thing (which, you know, is part of his job description), they never reach out to other witches about this dangerous warlock running around (like say the multiple canonical witches that the Charmed Ones meet that worked with one of them), they never go to the canonical magical school that presumably has plenty of competent magical beings on staff or to the Elders like "Hey you know those prophesised Charmed Ones you've been waiting for? Yeah we had to bind their powers to save them from this one warlock, if you want them to ever be able to use that power you need to help us find a way to get rid of him, K thanks"?? Like I know they're not the Power of Three babes, but come on, they're still Warren Witches and plenty powerful and competent in their own right. They've both gone after tougher opponents alone and it's not like they couldn't work together (and if your argument is "what about the sisters", like it costs zero money to ask Sam or even Victor to watch them for like an afternoon while Patty and Penny go and vanquish the active and real threat to their lives) And like after all of that, after not hunting this warlock down or telling anyone about him or doing really anything at all about the situation for over twenty years, Penny, after being diagnosed with a heart condition, doesn't then ever think, "oh hey, when I die, this one warlock's going to come after them in like twelve months at most because he keeps popping by once a year, I should do something about that, like write a note in the Book or make an addition to my will about it or something"???

Uh, no. They would not do that. That is incredibly out of character for the Halliwells that we know and love. They'd probably have spent the nine months Patty was pregnant with Phoebe figuring out how to vanquish him and destroy the ring , and then if he didn't show up right after Phoebe was born they'd have asked Sam or maybe a couple of other witches they know to keep an eye on the sisters for a couple of hours while they summon Nicholas and vanquish him while he's off guard. The whole situation is over and done with by the time Phoebe turns one and the sisters' powers don't need to be bound at all.

But when you take the time travel into account, the whole lack of proactiveness on Patty and Grams' part makes a whole lot more sense. Because after having to bless the ring and then telling her mother about it, Patty remembers the other people who knew she was pregnant, and being the very much not stupid witch she is goes "hmm, maybe there's something going on there". And then like the plot of the episode happens they steal back the ring blah blah, and lets say that when Patty unblesses it she does it with like a time delay when its first used or it uses the powers of the girls to undo the blessing or even it takes a hot minute to take effect bc like Patty said they didn't have time to test whether or not the unblessing worked or whatever - its magic, we've handwaved way worse in canon - so that Nicholas still has the two minutes of being able to blindside the girls when he first attacks them and they can't use magic that prompts them to cast the time travel spell.

The girls then get sent home and Patty gives the unblessed ring back to Nicholas without letting on that she's unblessed it, fine. But because the girls have now time travelled, Patty and Penny realise that they have to preserve the order of events that led to them time travelling in the first place. Which means that when Phoebe is born they have to bind the girls' powers. Ok fine, they do that. They raise the girls with no knowledge of magic. Except, they're not stupid, they saw how the three girls looked at Patty and how they talked about Grams but not really about their mother, and they put together that Patty dies young. So Patty puts some entries in the Book, some messages for her daughters that she's not going to get to see grow up. Information that she'd rather give them in person but that need to be recorded somewhere for them because she won't be able to - like the Demon of Fear entry, or about magic around babies and so on. She doesn't know when she dies, but she figures it's got to be before Prue is a teenager because there's a different way you look at a parent you lost in your teens to a parent you lost as a child and because if Prue was a teenager then Phoebe was at least seven or eight and the girls would have something to say about her that proves who they are rather than just the wistful looks. And Penny keeps on raising the girls and doesn't do anything about Nicholas even though he keeps coming by, and she puts the vanquishing spell in the Book for when they need it, right by the spell they'd use to go back in time. And events play out like in canon.

The time travel being a closed time loop also neatly provides a further answer that isn't just "we were afraid" for why Patty gave up Paige rather than say, binding her whitelighter powers (like she did canonically) and pretending that she was the child of someone other than Sam (like maybe a one night fling with Victor, which, hey, that's how Phoebe was conceived, it could be true for Paige too!) or even just pretending that she was adopted from a different witch. Because the sisters clearly didn't know she had trouble with pregnancy and aren't very practiced witches, they came back in time to change the past and they didn't once mention a younger sister. There was no fourth daughter that time travelled, so either the three older daughters just left their younger sister behind when trying to stop Nicholas (which, unlikely), or they don't know she exists. So Patty takes the harder option of giving Paige up rather than the selfish one of keeping her and endangering all of her daughters because as previously mentioned, she's a very smart witch and figures out that this is a choice that she already made in the future her daughters travelled from.

But what about Grams wanting to strip their powers in "Pre-Witched"? You ask. Well that's easy, Grams knows she's ill, she looks at her granddaughters who look very much like the three time travellers she met and are about the same age as them too, and figures out that she's going to die soon. Now remember, she met the sisters after they'd already been Charmed for a while and only saw them as a united front that supported each other and were a pretty good team. She didn't see all the difficult growing pains they went through at first or how it took them a minute to get their shit together as a team. So she looks around at her granddaughters, who are not just a mess, but also cannot keep it together for five minutes, or even long enough to take a picture. And she comes to the conclusion that she must have messed up somewhere, that she changed something by accident and stopped them from becoming the tight-knit sisterhood that she saw in her past and she lets her doubts take over and stop her from listening to Patty, who has faith that they'll still pull together. And then, before she can go through with it, destiny strikes, and she dies, which kicks off the events that lead to Nicholas coming to the house and finding her dead and trying to kill her granddaughters who go back in time to stop him and end up causing the whole chain of dominoes that lead to them growing up without their powers and having to time travel in the first place.

Ta-da! Closed time loop. I'm probably forgetting some things, but this was basically a rant post about how not everything big and new about magic in the back half of Charmed is a continuity screw up or ass-pull ft. one of my favourite s1 episodes

…there's also a bunch more thoughts I have about Halliwell's time travelling in general and also specifically them meeting their parents/ancestors when they're young/not yet born and how there are a bunch of repeating patterns that keep popping up surrounding it, but again, that's a different post.

[animalinvestigator]

sry my wrist hurts and im exhausted so i cant draw good but heres my ideas about ai and makoto. In my world they were extremely negatively impacted by their tangiential relationship to everything that happened with impmon and instead of positively learning from it and growing as people they developed a collective superiority complex, going around telling everyone that they helped save the world, no guys we're really digimon tamers i promise , we're so cool and our digimon was so strong you have to believe me. ai is siuchuns frined in school because the two of them are both considered weird and disliked by their classmates for their obsession with having been real digimon tamers as children that htey never stop talking about. and so ai and mako go along on the adventure and are generally useless. their goal is to meet impmon again so that they can take him back to the real world and prove to their classmate sthat they are real digimon atmers so they will gain social boons but they go there and find out taht impmon liek completley does not want anyhting to do with them anymore and is just taking quiet and peaceful time to reflect on himself and repair his relationships for the past 5 years, so they have to find new digimon partners, but because they are so generally unlikable and not even remotely pure of heart they have a really hard time