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#technically he has been to the US before
spnexploration · 23 days
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My Dad's trip to the US:
Houston Space Centre
Smithsonian Air and Space Museum (he was annoyed half the exhibits were closed)
Kennedy Space Centre
And that's it. He's about to leave again 😆
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mintjeru · 9 months
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my pride and joy
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beatcroc · 30 days
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i think tdov is technically passed by now but i realized i never posted the doombox shirt so here is the doombox shirt
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bravevolunteer · 10 months
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MICHAEL + SEXUALITY ( aka the gay gay homosexual gay meta )
note: the time frame as well as mentions of "relationships" are by DEFAULT. they may be altered according to certain ships that would either have to speed up the process of his questioning depending on where they're placed and/or negate any mentions of intimacy that are placed while said ship is established. homophobia and suggestiveness cw, though both are only mentioned.
for michael, coming to terms with his sexuality was a journey uniquely separate from most things in his life, but it took him a while to fully realize and accept. he never thought about it much when he was young, though the idea of anything beyond heterosexuality was hardly ever discussed in hurricane, utah, if at all. any mentions were usually met with either hushed words or blatant homophobia— although michael was too young to understand that when people had already started commenting on his close friendship with charlie emily, teasing about how they'd end up together one day ( always met with a resounding ew, no! ). still, michael got the heteronormativity message just as everyone else did, not realizing there was ever another option until old enough to understand what those insults meant.
he seemed late to show any interest in girls— when proudly proclaiming that no, he didn't like anyone in his class no longer seemed to work as the type of friends he surrounded himself with actually began to talk about it, he would make his own thoughts up on the spot ( how long would it be until they stopped thinking him picky and turned on him for being different? ). he shrugged it off, figuring he would come to develop crushes as time passed.
michael didn't, not before or after the mistake that turned his life around for good ( though he would years later come to realize how he felt around a friend or two before he lost them was decidedly not the most heterosexual ). with the rumors spread around him and michael closing himself off to most, he didn't expect anyone to show interest in him anyway. his first real experience was at some party ( not usually one to be invited, but it was always an easy way to get fucked up and out of the house ), where he ended up making out with a girl due to some game he barely remembers. he didn't feel much besides awkward, blaming it on the both of them being drunk and not truly interested in each other, though there was an exhilaration to someone not turning away from, but pursuing him. michael would easily confuse attraction with the thrill of feeling wanted, less monstrous.
that's what most of his experience through his teenage years consisted of: despite copious rumors surrounding him... getting around ( because he was a delinquent in small town utah, of course— ) the most he ever experienced was loosely fooling around with girls, usually intoxicated and typically pursued for the appeal of seeming forbidden. despite the allure that came with feeling desired, michael would always find an excuse to back out before things went any further. he chalked it up to a fear of intimacy. after all, he never had an official relationship, always cutting the rare potential connections off the moment they seemed to grow too serious: he had too much going on, refused to allow himself to grow close with anyone, this must be for the same reasons.
there were always signs he never caught— being more transfixed by a boy he'd meet smoking outside than he ever were any of the girls he was with, who his gaze would linger towards in movies, any thought he would shamefully bury. he only began to truly put those pieces together around his last year of high school/as a young adult, taking a while to find the words to put to them. even as he slowly did, it was difficult to accept. he didn't exactly have family left to worry about, but the hostility of both his environment and the time period ( rampant homophobia of the 80's/early 90's was absolutely factor of how long this took him to accept without denying every consideration ), as well as... his plethora of already existing issues got in the way.
although there came a point where he was aware of his sexuality even if he wasn't inclined to acknowledge it out loud. in the few years that he managed to move away from hurricane before the events of sister location, he DID have a few experiences that could only be described as situations: again nothing officially labeled as a relationship, though at least one may as well have been, while others were strictly hook-ups. it was all very secretive and complicated for both usually, even if there WAS mutual yearning for more. the conditions of the time, michael's self-destructiveness, and potential issues on the other end often got in the way.
being pulled back to his hometown and into the fray of his past put a swift end to ANY connections with others at all, never mind romance. in a strange, roundabout way, being scooped almost helped him fully accept his sexuality: if he is going to be isolated from the world until he fulfills his last purpose, if he's never going to get the chance again in the first place, what's the point of trying to deny the fact that he's gay?
— for unscooped au, this mostly still stands, but more due to natural passage of time while ALSO still having that laser-focused goal that hardly leaves him room for connecting with others anyway.
all things considered, it's an anticlimactic conclusion, but there is an, albeit odd, sense of relief and peace that comes with that final acceptance and willingness to self identify as queer.
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fucksatan · 2 years
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these guys haven't really hung out yet before
the song in question
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🪶
#not to be weird on main but jaysteph hallmarkesque fic where it's like. steph has been away at college#and comes back to gotham on holiday break absolutely jonesing to get back into ''the family business'' aka vigilantism#she and jason were childhood acquaintances (schoolbus theory!!!) and worked together a bit before she went to school#steph has an argument with tim about something stupid (no they're not dating at this point they're just besties and both a bit petty)#so they're at odds and the whole family is a bit tense bc there's a Big Case going on and B is away on JL business#(B has promised he'll be back in time for Christmas. he is SCRAMBLING to keep this promise.)#anyway: cue steph deciding to make things a little easier on dick by handling arrangements for The Christmas Eve Gala TM#and recruiting jason (who is honestly just along for the ride/lowkey keeps mom-friending literally everyone in the absense of bruce)#they end up doing Shenanigans while trying to pull this event off and not cause any more trouble for alfred#while also working that Big Case during the nighttime and dealing with regular Family Tensions.#steph is also conflicted about transfering back to gotham u or staying with her current program that isn't really doing it for her#(jason is also considering enrolling in college now that he's legally alive again and is struggling a little with Being Alive)#at some point they end up reminiscing about their shenanigans as kids who rode the same schoolbus#and there's this really emotional moment like ''sometimes i wonder why I'm even allowed to be alive. why did we get to come back''#and all that. steph has a mild existential crisis brought on by emotions running high and sleep deprivation#thats basically her asking how she's able to go to college. she should have brain damage after being technically dead for minutes like that#and jason is like ''i DID have brain damage'' and they just look at each other and it's like this *zing* moment#like hotel transylvania skkdfnskfnsk#anyway yeah college girl steph home for the holidays falling for the guy she used to sit with on the bus??? i am Thinking#also samsung needs to give me a starling emoji smh
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lilgynt · 7 months
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i hate the other departments at my company so bad we’re a security company ur answer to has this merchant been verified CANNOT be probably at some point 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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iamthescalesofjustice · 8 months
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an eclectic group of wardens trying to figure out why they arent being swayed by the calling all the other wardens are getting and figuring out they were all joined either with the substitute archdemon blood from soldiers peak or by this one specific guy who apparently may not even be a warden. and then once anders meets up with them he hears this and gets visibly five times more exhausted and then he opens his mouth to finally start laying out the surana deep lore he has pieced together and well, its good news and bad news.
#also baffling news revelatory news and terrifying news.#tldr up at soldiers peak avernus has what he and surana says is zazikels heart. its in a complicated apparatus that keeps blood pumping#through it. by using draconic blood they can make substitute/postmortem(?) archdemon blood. this would have been fine if zazikel was#inactive the way the rest of the past archdemons are (aside from urthemiel whose soul went into kieran). instead surana is Connected to it#in a way that he has never coherently explained but which he has seemingly-contradictingly claimed is not entirely unlike the situations of#kieran and the magisters sidereal and the sentinels of mythals temple. functionally this amounts to him being the acting#leader of zazikels horde (which they partially comprise) as a semi-separate thing from the general darkspawn horde. fun fact the real#actual canonical term for this is 'omega'. surana has been taking psychic damage from this term since before the veil went up.#none of this is even getting into the really crazy parts yet. anyway yeah bad news we are technically a darkspawn horde good news our boss#isnt interested in obliterating our personhoods beneath his call. but we are still sort of instruments of his will and if any of you here#have not met this guy let me assure you this is going to be a bumpy ride bc on his best days the guy has a death-grip on what few hinges#he can scrape together. but if you want to get paid for all this tell him that and he will definitely try. okay ted talk over'
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ajdrawshq · 2 years
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Okay actually a question real quick like what did you think of the whole Stranded Pair fragment thing? I think. I think that when you saw that was during the parts where the live blogging became utterly incoherent right it'd. track. because well damn that whole thing is awful
OH YEAH.. thats the one with Sigma n Diana isnt it. thats the part that i got to when my phone was dead so i didnt have a way to write down my thoughts while things. happened. but yeah that was a fucking mess sjxvkshxn the one thing i can 100% remember from in the moment was like. for a good minute or so i could only think of this
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cuz genuinely. what on earth (derogatory). what in the goddamn was that. theres like quite a few scenes or entire parts of the game that made me Uncomfortable and that one is near the top of the list for so many reasons i dont even know where to start. like. ur right the whole thing Was absolutely awful. i almost wanted to rewatch it to at least refresh my mind on the details but i also would rather not relive that
ok yea im trying to come up w some actual Thoughts abt it that arent just vaguely bashing its head in but just. ew. yikes. yknow. to be fair my brain was blank the entire time minus that image specifically so its not like the liveblog missed out on much tbh but. yeah !
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arolesbianism · 1 month
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Sigh. Why must you have died Aris, now I have to actually think abt what your abilities are instead of just sweeping it under the rug and calling it good enough
#rat rambles#eternal gales#like I do have stuff in mind but Ive been needing to flesh it out a bit more even if it doesnt rly come up much#basically shed the other side of the information translation coin that is tali#tali translates information into smth readable to people and aris translates information into smth usuable for a universe's purposes#im theory anyways aris doesnt actually get that much use out of that stuff since she only died once or twice#tali also only died once or twice but she had her connection to her role amplified by the whole scar debacle#if youve seen the blue string stuff in my eg art before then thats the stuff put in her face and eye#its basically just smth the narrator uses to gather and transfer information from different universes#so tali got tapped into that a lot more forcefully than most tali's in ither universes are#aris on the other hand mostly has her abilities expressed in a lot less immediately noticable ways#mostly just in her far too late newfound immunity to The Goop™#most of the others never rly directly get to use their theoretical abilities due to the fact they never die lol#bloom did die tho so congrats girlie you get to finish off the information triangle#she acts as the data storage itself 👍#great ability for a nine year old who just bled out and died#the others abilities get to be seen in their au counterparts at least#au snek being the most in your face one in that regard due to having died the most by a longshot#most of the others died only a handful of times with mostly no physical alterations from their abilities#au snek can still appear mostly normal but she always has splits between different sections of skin from when she is in meat snake mode#most of the others physical alterations are either just general universe chanres or aren't directly from their abilities#such as owl being all goopy from eating her original universe and au aris being all goopy because thats how she died#the goop™ is basically just a defense mechanism of the universe core btw#anyways au mase looks all edgy and shit because hes storing a shit ton of ppl in him#and then au fydd tali and bloom all just look different from being different agaes and going through different shit#au fydd is abt 15 au tali is abt 18 and au bloom is somewhere in her mid 30s#au sier is also around 18 and au aris is 14#au mase and snek get to be the odd ones out as the only two who are the same ages as their main universe counterparts#I should rly get around to actually drawing all the au antags sometime soon its been like 5 or so years they desperately need drawn#I technically did draw them way Way back but that was all the crusty dusty original versions of them
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ralfmaximus · 3 months
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on the way home, the Tesla Model 3 barreled into a tree and exploded in flames, killing von Ohain, a Tesla employee and devoted fan of CEO Elon Musk. Rossiter, who survived the crash, told emergency responders that von Ohain was using an “auto-drive feature on the Tesla” that “just ran straight off the road,” according to a 911 dispatch recording obtained by The Washington Post. In a recent interview, Rossiter said he believes that von Ohain was using Full Self-Driving, which — if true — would make his death the first known fatality involving Tesla’s most advanced driver-assistance technology.
Finally, they have a witness. A survivor of an Autopilot mishap who can testify that the driver was using Full Self Driving mode at the time of the crash.
See, this has been impossible thus far because (1) survivors are rare, and (2) Teslas are programmed to automatically disengage Self-Driving milliseconds before the crash so that when investigators review the telemetry it clearly shows FSD wasn't turned on.
And due to this technicality, Musk has been able to claim Autopilot has never killed anybody. Until now.
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hetanatural · 9 months
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#vent#cw for animal death if you read through this#just feel like i have to ramble about this. somewhere. but everyone's asleep rn and i don't wanna randomly pop into someones messages#so to yell at the void in the tags i go#but one of my dogs died today. or yesterday technically. idk it's 4am rn and my sleep schedule's fucked#but yeah. apparently he passed away in his sleep. teddy bear's gone.#which like. shouldn't be that surprising since he was like 13 years old#and he was a maltese and yorkie mix and both of them live to be about 13. he was a little old man#but none of us really expected to lose him before we lost susie who's a little over a year older than him and his mom#and also has been having some health issues. nothing major or serious but enough to be kinda concerning with how old she is#but teddy was perfectly fine. didn't have any issues at all#but i was helping my brother get ready for school and was about to go and watch for the bus#and we were passing by the couch that he loved to sleep on and it just looked like he was asleep on a pillow#and my brother went to pet him and immediately noticed that he was cold#and yeah. a while after that my dad put him in a box and now he's buried in front of the well we have in our backyard#and it's just been kinda hitting me in waves all day#like i'll be fine and then i'll realize he's gone and then i'm fine and then i'll remember what he looked like on the couch#before we realized#and i'm kinda surprised it's affecting me this badly? like. idk. when i lost my cat orange a couple of years ago#who i had since i was like 2 i didn't react like this at all#like of course i was still sad and i miss her but. idk.#maybe it's because there wasn't any build up? like with orange we knew something was wrong#and had a couple of weeks knowing something was wrong and she might not live before she died#and also i didn't see it. my parents were there when she was put down by the vet but i didn't go#but with teddy. i saw the body. thought he was just asleep until my brother tried to pet him#so i guess maybe those combined is why? idk#grief just never. hit me this much this quickly before#also sucks to know we're probably going to be losing susie soon too#we're planning on getting another dog so louisa won't be alone when it happens#she's been with teddy and susie her whole life. we don't want her to be lonely without them so we want to get her a friend
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deadsetobsessions · 4 months
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Danny Fenton is so damn sick of rich fruit loops. It’s worse now, since he’s one of them.
It’s not Vlad that he’s with, thank the Ancients, but Danny isn’t sure that this is better.
Because he’s Timothy Drake, a baby, and he’s been reincarnated after the Ancient of Reincarnation accidentally drank too much wine.
He’s going to kick their ass so hard when he gets back.
Danny huffs. He rolls over, ignoring the silent manor. Sure, he’s read the comics. Sure, he laughed and imagined being adopted by Batman- come on, Danny had black hair and blue eyes even back then, he was totally adoption bait- when his parents gave him reason to lose trust in their love. But that’s it, that’s all he thought it was. A day dream, a wish for a universe that didn’t exist.
Danny hadn’t understood the reality of the whole Infinite Realms thing, a place he was now the King of. Batman? Real. Danny? Reincarnated. Hotel? Trivago.
Like, this wasn’t what he meant, dammit.
And now he’s stuck as Timothy Drake, and Ancients, he was starting to see parallels.
——
Danny tried photography. He really did. He wanted to at least stick to the source material. But that’s not who he is. Even with the shiny new brain that memorized, catalogued, and put together clues at the snap of his fingers, but Danny’s never been one to take photos. It’s a respectable art, for sure, but Danny preferred to live in the moment instead of capturing it to remember forever. It’s just-
He watched the Graysons fall. He watched Dick Grayson turn into Robin. And Danny can’t and won’t ever betray his Obsession like that, ever again. He can’t let Jason die for his “story” to begin. That’s not how Danny works.
He’s there to protect.
Danny hasn’t ever been just Tim. Danny was also Tim and the Ghost King without a haunt. But now? Gotham is his haunt. He, in lieu of an actual city spirit, is Gotham. He’s also a Drake. And Drakes were meant to hoard.
Batman and Robin? They are his.
He claimed them, as a Drake. But that claim is weak. So he claimed them as their city, and that is a claim that will never be able to be challenged.
Danny’ll be damned before he allows some lanky starved clown beat the life out of one of his Robins. So, for the first time in his nine years on this planet, Tim-Danny goes ghost and flies.
“Who- who. Are you?” Robin slurred from his place in Danny’s hold. He is broken, yes. But not dead. Danny infuses some of his vitality, his ecto, into Jason’s injuries to help them heal.
“Gotham.” Danny replied, layering his ghostly voice with those of the city.
“Goth’m?”
“Gotham. Sleep, little bird. Your city has got you.”
When Robin, Jason, settled with a sense of trust that tugs at Danny’s core, Danny carried him to Batman, whose eyes were wild and manic. He glared menacingly at the green and white ghost in front of him, who was holding his broken and beaten son-
Well, it’d be menacing if Danny hadn’t watched him eat bricks and mortar, crashing into a building while using his grappling gun.
“You-”
“I am Gotham.” Danny cut him off. Despite his wary nature and natural paranoia, Batman settled at his city’s gaze rested on him. Danny knew that Batman recognized his city. Batman’s head bowed, but his eyes stayed on Robin. “You were supposed to take care of Robin.”
“I- I know.” And that voice was all Bruce Wayne the Dad instead of Batman the Vigilante. Danny gently placed Robin in Batman’s arms, taking in the tremors as he held his son close.
“Go back, Bruce. And make sure Jason knows how much you love him.”
He laughed as Bruce whipped his head upwards. “I am your city. You are mine as much as I am yours. I’ve known of you before you were born.”
Technically? Not untrue. But Bruce will chalk it up to weird magic shit. It’s not like it’s a secret that Gotham’s kind of curse. Besides, this way, Danny will be able to help out more often. And Bruce won’t be able to connect Tim Drake to the “Spirit of Gotham.”
“Return, my knight. This is not your city. I can not protect you as well as I can in Gotham.”
“Thank you… Gotham.”
Danny sighed. He wondered when he’ll have to field questions from a John Constantine. He’s pretty sure Bruce will call in magical help, even if it was his own city he was investigating.
Batman’s lucky Danny liked him enough to allow it.
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buckyalpine · 5 months
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I need a feral and unhinged, touch starved Bucky to ruin me.
He’s selfish in giving and taking.
He's gone years without touching his cock, no orgasm, no relief, nothing. Any experience he has had has been long forgotten. The man loves getting his cock sucked. There’s something so filthy about the way he goes feral for it, torn between throwing his head back in pleasure and watching his cock disappear into your mouth.
He used to be such a gentleman but he can’t anymore.
He's a fucking menace because he loves how dirty it is, having his dick in your mouth of all places, letting you slobber and drool all over his length, getting his balls wet in the process.
He doesn't give a fuck who hears either, letting anyone and everyone know his cock is in your mouth, that he's getting the best head of his life.
"Fuck, suck me princess, just-yeah just like that, sucking my cock so good babydoll, makin' me so hard"
You let out a muffled whine in response, still on your knees, tears streaking down your face while he holds your face, his thumbs swiping your wet cheeks. He bites his lip while thrusting his hips forward, pushing his length down your throat. You claw at his thighs, gagging and he lets out a delicious moan seeing your arousal starting to drip with how turned on you are.
"You're makin' me feel so good sugar, you know that? Y'have any idea how good my dick feels right now, how much cum there is in my balls?" He takes a a hand off his thigh and makes you cup his heavy sack, guiding you to squeeze him while you suck, the combined feeling making his eyes roll back.
"C'mon princess, suck my balls next, never had them sucked before-oh fuck-yeah-just like that baby shit-oh fuck feels so good-" His abs tense as he moans loudly again, jerking himself while you move to lap and suck at his sack, precum dribbling down, making a mess everywhere.
He might as well be addicted to the feeling. On more than one occasion, he's missed morning training because you decided to wake him up with head and he loses himself to you, not giving a shit who is waiting for him at the door.
He hears the knocks, hears them calling for him and he'll let them know what's keeping him so busy.
"Buck, you coming-?"
"Oh Fuck yes! Suck my cock, yes, yes, yes, gonna cum, drink it up baby, c'mon, swallow, fuck yes, m'gonna cum again-don't stop princess"
"Well...technically he's coming" Sam snorted, hearing every filthy word the super soldier spewed out while Steve bit back a smirk, "I think your best friend is busy"
Steve couldn't help the proud smile that made it's way onto his face, shaking his head, quickly walking away before round two started.
Tony occasionally goes as far as cheering outside of Bucky's bedroom, especially when the steady thump of the headboard banging against the wall can be heard from downstairs.
No point hiding anything from Tony, especially when he's the one who had to install the xl mirror in the bedroom Bucky requested and god knows he didn't ask for it because he's into fashion.
He's gonna put you in positions that are unholy as it gets. He wants to watch every detail. He's gonna throw your legs all the way back till your knees hit the bed. He wants to watch his cock stretch you open. He's gonna experimentally flick that little button between your legs, using it as his own personal play toy, rubbing and pinching it to his delight just to hear you squeal.
“That’s-that’s your spot, huh princess-take my fat cock baby, doin' so good, moaning for me" He growls, watching he way you take his cock. His favorite thing to do is lock eyes with you in the mirror while your on your hands and knees watching you watch him while he fucks your brains out. Your breasts bounce with each thrust and he doesn't know what he loves to watch more. God forbid your eyes roll back, he spanks you till you focus again.
"Look at me when you take my cock baby, look at how pretty you are when you're all stretched open"
"Sargent-I-fuck-can't-
"Yeah, can't even speak huh, that how good your pussy feels baby? You wanna cum? Want me to make you cum?"
"Please!" You wail and he grabs your hair and pulls you till your back is flush against his chest. He forces your thighs apart as wide as they'll go before grabbing his phone and positioning it under, getting a perfect video of his cock pumping you full of cum while his fingers reach around to rub your swollen button.
"Go on and cum baby, cum with me, together, make your Sargent proud princess, make me dick feel good, fuck, gonna fill you till it spills out, mother fucker-FUCKK" He moans loudly with you, letting your convulsing pussy milk him dry, his veins throbbing as he shoots ropes of cum into you. The end of the video is blurry after all his cum drips onto the screen but it makes it so much filthier.
He's going to record all of this along with taking pictures, always getting you to spread your legs for him, laying on his bed after he's poured load after load into you. I want him to be the dirtiest fuck, looking at all the pictures and videos he's taken, jerking himself off afterwards when you're away for a mission. He can't have you but he's gonna take what he can get. He loves how you moan and scream, how cock drunk you get. A part of him almost feels like a pervert, tugging at his dick like a horny teenager but he can't keep his hands off when he thinks of you.
He's fucking feral even when he jerks off. Legs spread wide apart, no clothes on, back arched off the bed, fucking his hips up into his fist. He doesn't care if you walk in anymore. He was shy at first but now he just smirks while continuing to lazily touch himself, using his own spend to palm himself, the other arm propped behind his head. He knows you love the sight, planting his feet onto the bed to give you a better view while you take your clothes off-
Anyway, my bad, this was sitting in the drafts for long enough, you can go about your day now.
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supercutszns · 3 months
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Luke x reader where a girl, daughter of Aphrodite, flirts with him and insults the reader, causing her to avoid Luke, but later he manages to find her and confesses that he actually likes them... I don't know if they should already be together or not, but I believe in you!!! you write very well :ooo
Sorry if the idea is bad or you wouldn't want to write something like that, if that's the case please pretend you never read this 🤡🤡🫶
true colours; luke castellan
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wc + pairing: 3.6k, luke castellan x child of iris! reader
synopsis: everyone wants luke castellan, including you. curse your mother for getting your hopes up.
warnings: friends to lovers, reader is very insecure, bullying, lee fletcher & will solace cameo!! some angst with a fluffy ending
notes: thank you for the request!! as always this is longer than i anticipated but hope you like it :) i also combined it with another request for a child of iris reader (i also identify as a child of iris sometimes so i lovee writing for them) also i’m pretty sure lee + a lot of parts of this are ooc sorry but i havent read the books in about a year so hopefully everything’s fairly accurate!🌈
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You knew this summer would be different because your mother sent her wishes twice as much. On the first day of July, when children flood into Camp Half-Blood like a hive of wild bees, a rainbow always lights up the sky. 
This year, there were two. 
As a child of Iris you’re technically supposed to be in the Hermes cabin. But your love for art, for music, for fun, has made you a particular favourite of the Apollo cabin. Most of your friends are there. They tolerate you singing in your soft, often unsure voice. They love when you catch sunlight and filter it into prisms of colour on their cabin walls. 
You’d probably move in there permanently if it weren’t for Hermes. Or rather, his son.
Over the last few months, in the sticky summer heat, your mother knew you would fall in love. 
It's not any surprise you love Luke. Everyone loves Luke. A fact that's becoming more obvious every passing day. 
It used to bother you less. You’ve always been his meagre, hopeless friend, never any real competition to these girls. You’d basically taken yourself out of the running and instead decided to pine after him in the very back of your mind. A safe, deluded fantasy that would never happen. 
Until recently, where it seems less like a fantasy and more like a terrifying possibility. 
Over the past few weeks Luke has gone out of his way to be sweet to you. Or at least you think so. He’s spent extra time talking to you at lunch, laughing at your half-formed jokes almost in earnest. At bonfires he saves you a seat, grabs you a marshmallow on occasion. You even made him a friendship bracelet of sorts—admittedly a little ugly—but he’s never taken it off. Not since the day you gave it to him. 
Not to mention helping you last week before the archery competition. His hands lingering over yours as he steadied your bow, the curls of his breath on the back of your neck when he stood behind you. 
“Don’t be nervous,” he says, a tinge of mirth in his voice. “You just steady your aim and first is as good as yours.”
(You came in fifteenth.)
You don’t want to say that it’s him weakening your aim, making your pulse beat out of your neck. His nose brushes against the back of your jaw as he leans forward and you smell the pine on his skin. Is this friendly? Is he this close on purpose? Are you delusional?
It’s all you’ve been thinking about these past few days. So when Luke Castellan’s endless admirers come to the forefront of your mind, you feel like all those moments of potential buildup have been ripped away. 
“You alright there, sunshine?” 
He takes you out of your spiral with a teasing lilt you love. When you look at him, his face is a shimmering warmth, complete with boyish smile. 
“Yep,” you reply, trying to ignore the nickname making your insides flutter even though you know he’s saying it ironically.
You’ve always had a gift for identifying colour. It’s the thing you pay attention to most. Something inherited from your mother, you suppose. So you’ve memorized the way Luke’s eyes melt in the sunlight. How his scar blends with his pinking cheeks when it’s hot outside. You never told him, and you probably never will, but you’ve painted him from memory quite a few times in the Apollo cabin—always with the excuse that you were practicing. It's so blatantly obvious you're in love with him there's no point in your friends bringing it up.  
The two of you are meandering around camp before dinner, a tradition Luke started early on in the summer. You talk about high points of your day (mostly you) or share nuggets of gossip you’ve heard around camp (mostly him). It's the thing you looked forward to every morning. A time when his words are just for you. 
Idle chatter flows as you keep walking. Sometimes your arm brushes his and you have the embarrassing urge to tug yours away. You do your best not to stare at him too long or laugh too loud at his jokes. 
“Hey, Castellan!” Someone calls. 
Luke’s head turns. Your heart plummets. A beautiful girl, Aphrodite cabin, you think, is heading towards you. She’s all honey-spun hair and dazzling pink lips, and it’s obvious she knows it. You don’t know her name. But Luke does. 
They fall into conversation the second she arrives. It’s just greetings, pleasantries, but there’s a coy smile on the girl’s face that betrays any sense of disinterest. “Heard you’re not too keen on pairing up with us for the Chariot Race next week. What gives?” Her tone is pouty and playful as she taps Luke’s shoulder. She side-eyes you, lips curling imperceptibly. “I’m sure you’ll have a better chance with us.”
He lets out a strained chuckle. “Dunno, just thought it was fine to switch it up.”
Just like that, you’re out of the loop again. More of her friends flock after her, and soon Luke is tangled in a whole other world. They’re all glowing with a kind of righteousness you only get when you’re popular. You know Luke has friends, tons of them. He's the leader of the cabin with the most campers. Not to mention assertive and gorgeous. His presence is so inviting it’s a challenge not to fall in love with him. 
So you can’t blame this girl, the one that keeps touching his arm and giggling. It’s not like you’ve staked your claim on Luke—no one even knows you exist. As much as you want him to be yours, you know you’ll never stop someone from taking him first. It’s your fatal flaw, you think. Cowardice. 
You end up sidelined completely. Watching him swathed in people more charismatic than you plants an ache deep inside you. All your wishful thinking feels sour now, a pipe dream, a bedtime story to help you sleep better. Somehow it hurts more knowing that it’s nobody’s fault but yours. These people can’t be doing this on purpose. It’s just who they are. It’s who you are—always a step behind, always daydreaming. You are your mother’s daughter, after all. Just a prism reflecting everyone around you. 
Eventually, one of the boys in the group takes notice of you. He’s not nearly as captivating as Luke is—you don’t find the colours of his eyes hold as much depth. There’s also a haughtiness when he looks at you. He sneers, “What the hell do you have on your face?”
It draws the attention of others in the group. You feel like a naked sculpture in an art gallery. “Uh, what?” You stammer. 
Some of them purse their lips. The girl with Luke lets a laugh slip. You’re pretty sure you look like an idiot, waiting there with your brows wrinkled in a daze. Their gazes keep flicking over to your cheek, so your hand flies up there before you can delay any more. When you press your fingers to the side of your face, they come away tacky and pink. Mortification constricts you.
Paint. It’s leftover, half-dried paint. The colour of Luke’s cheeks in the sun. 
“Oh,” you say dumbly. It’s drowned by snickers. All you can do is find Luke, the only face you know, and ask, “Why didn’t you tell me?” without sounding too hurt. 
You know you failed when your voice comes out wrong and his ebony brows push together. “I thought it looked—”
He never gets to finish because the golden girl laughs a little louder, the pink tones in her face a little darker. “Oh my Gods, you’re that Iris kid that’s always singing, right?” She giggles sharply, cornflower eyes darting between her friends. There’s something in there you can’t quite pick up on, until it flushes the pupils of all her friends, and they all grin with a secret knowledge they want you to see. “You’re, like, really good!” The girl simpers, but her bottom lip pulls between her teeth to soften another laugh. 
“Oh, so good!” Another friend piles on. 
Their passive-aggressive chuckles start to sound like hail on a window. You shift further away from them. Dirt slides beneath your shoe, and you long to kick up more of it, displace yourself, disappear. 
You don’t look at Luke. The giggly, flaxen girl has already turned back to him, and you’re sure he’s enthralled once more. You try to stir up the image of Luke’s closeness during archery practice, the lilac bruise on his knuckles when he angled your bow, but it doesn’t take. Now, it feels like you’ve dreamed it. 
Out of the corner of your eye, you see Luke leaning down to catch a whisper from the Aphrodite girl’s ear. The boy that first commented on your cheek leans closer to you again. He’s suffocatingly smug when he grins, “Why are you still here? Shouldn’t you go … wash that off? You don’t want to look like that at dinner.” He snorts. “For an Iris kid, you really aren’t good at taking a message.” 
If you were a more confident person, maybe you’d point out how that didn’t really make sense, or how stupid it sounded coming out of his mouth. But the sentiment of it wounds you, and you’re weak enough as is. 
"Guess you're right," you mumble. You wipe your face of paint as you leave. The memory of Luke’s skin stains you until you wash your hands off in the sink. 
You haven’t talked to him since. 
It’s been a few days of you avoiding him, and it’s hard to explain to anyone why you’ve been doing it. How do you tell the truth? Luke Castellan is a work of art and you are … a weird doodle, or something. Despite your adoration, you know there’s no reason he should feel the same for you. Everyone loves him for a reason. Everyone must ignore you for one, too. 
“Why haven’t you been talking to Luke?”
The question breaks your concentrated silence in the Apollo cabin. You’ve been sitting here for a while now, humming to yourself over a mostly blank canvas. The cabin is dusted with a lilac haze, thanks to your manipulation of the light streaming through the windows. Helps you feel less like you’re at camp and more like you’re in a fairytale. 
“Helloooo, lady, I asked you a question.”
You begrudgingly look up. Lee Fletcher, head of the Apollo cabin, is at the mouth of the cabin, gazing at all your supplies strewn about the floor like they’re a bunch of unsavoury substances. “It looks like a hurricane came in here. Now why aren’t you talking to Luke?”
“How do you know I’m not talking to him?” You mutter as Lee sits beside you. 
“Uh, because you’ve been sleeping here multiple nights in a row and you never do that. And you don’t sit with him at dinner. And whenever we see him you drag me in the other direction—”
“Lee!”
“I’m just saying, you should probably talk about it. My beautiful voice can heal wounds, yes, but not of the heart.” He splays a hand across his chest in mock theatrics.
You don’t say anything. The familiar weight of the brush against your fingertips is far more comforting than trying to talk, so you busy yourself with your canvas again. “He waits for you, you know,” Lee continues, quieter. “In the morning. And before dinner. He always asks if you’re here.”
“Oh,” you say, and your wavering voice betrays your expression. But you think of everyone else at camp, their gleaming smiles and their celebrated parents, their own cabins and friends and dreams, how you don’t seem to have any of those. You think of the girl whispering in Luke’s ear. All her shades of beauty. You know it’s wrong to compare yourself, to be jealous. You’re just … sad.
The cabin darkens from a lilac to an imperceptibly gloomier shade. A blue sort of longing gets caught in your throat, blurring the colours on your canvas. But you keep your brush steady, focused on the scratch of its bristles so you don’t have to hear what you say next. 
“I think I love him, Lee.” And then, “But I don’t think he loves me.”
There’s no sound except the scraping of your brush when it’s run out of paint, and a sniffle when a tear rolls down your cheek. 
“Oh,” Lee fills the silence the way you did just moments before. Then he says your name, laced with pity, and hugs you on the floor of his lavender cabin. 
“You want to help me lead the bonfire song tonight?” He asks after a minute. “Or at least … come to the bonfire song?” 
“No to the first, yes to the second.”
You wish you said no to both. 
The spot you choose after dinner is right next to the fire so you can distract yourself with the golden flecks of flame. Fire is so fluid, so complex, from a colour perspective. But no matter how close you get, the searing warmth can’t hide Luke’s gaze peering over the embers. 
He will not. Stop. Looking at you. 
The singing from the Apollo kids usually soothes you but tonight it’s just making you anxious. All this attention so close to you. Will Solace has been sitting next to you this whole time, your unofficial assigned companion for the night thanks to Lee. One of his siblings beckons him over, and he shoots you an apologetic look, hesitating. "Just go," you wave off kindly. "It's all good." He's not entirely convinced, and you aren't either, but he squeezes your shoulder with thanks and leaves you anyway.
Now you’re acutely aware the space next to you is wide open. And so is Luke, it seems. There’s an awkward moment where your gazes slide over each other and he weaves out of his current crowd towards you. So you do the most mature, sound thing you could possibly do in this situation:
You say you have to go to the bathroom to no one in particular and get out of there. 
It’s dark, but you’ve got sharper eyes than most. Soon the noise of the campfire is behind you. You traipse through the camp towards the bathroom,but you don’t get far before you hear something that makes your stomach drop in the worst and best way. 
Luke, calling your name. 
At first you think you can get away with not hearing him. Then he calls a second, a third, a fourth time, punctuated with, “Come on, I know you can hear me, can you just turn around?”
He’s got longer legs than you so the next time he speaks it’s practically in your ear. “Hey, just look at me. Please. I want to talk to you.”
There’s something so tender in his voice that it makes you cave immediately. But you already feel so fragile, you can feel the tears behind your eyes. You know you won’t have the strength to talk to him. 
His hand curls gently around your wrist and it sends warmth all the way up your arm. He says your name again, softer, and you love the way it sounds. You can’t meet his eyes, but you already know what he looks like. Even in the dark you picture him crystal clear. 
“Look at me,” he repeats. “I just—I need to know what I did wrong.”
His dark eyes are full and apprehensive when you heed him. You notice how much you’ve missed studying his face—the slight bunch of his brows, the tensing in his jaw. And you almost delude yourself that he’s missed you just as much, the way he squeezes your wrist and rakes over your expression.
“Why are you ignoring me?” He asks. 
“I’m not—”
“You are. I know you. Just tell me why.” 
He looks so sweet, so earnest, and it kills you. You think of the way he looked when all his friends made fun of you. It all comes up before you can help it. 
“Do you always let me walk around looking like an idiot?” You ask bitingly, staring at the floor. “The thing, with the paint on my cheek—why didn’t you tell me? I looked so stupid and all your friends just laughed at me!” 
His face falls. “I tried to tell you, I thought—”
“It’s okay to say you don’t like me, or that you’re embarrassed, or whatever, but I …” You swallow, tears thick on your lower lashes. “Everyone makes fun of me. I don’t know why you don’t.”
“Because I do like you,” he states, hand moving up to your forearm. 
“Don’t say that,” you whisper. “You’re so much … better, you know you are, and I don’t want your pity, or your spare time. I just—I made something up in my head that wasn’t there and I only noticed it the other day after you talked to that girl and that guy made fun of me and I’m really, really sorry—”
“It looked cute. I was trying to say I didn’t tell you about the paint because I thought it was cute.”
There’s a lull.
“What?” You blink stupidly. 
“I know I should’ve told you about it, but I swear I was going to before dinner, I didn’t think we’d run into anyone before then.” His cheeks tinge red. “I had this whole dumb thing planned out where I’d wipe it off your cheek and tell you how cute it was once you got embarassed. I was waiting to tell you. I was thinking about it the whole time.”
His hand on your arm is a frighteningly grounding thing. You're dumbstruck by that alone. Your lips part, but all that comes out is, “Why?”
A gentle laugh tumbles out of his throat. “Why do you think?”
His other hand comes up to brush your cheekbone, where the paint had been, and you can imagine him doing it to you on that day. How you'd probably react just the way he said you would, the way you are now. A warm orange glow blooming in your chest. “But the girl—”
“She tried whispering to me how much she liked my bracelet,” he smiles fondly. “Told her you made it for me. It shut her up. I don’t know what that guy said to you but I chewed ‘em all out the second you left. They knew I wasn’t happy. I tried looking for you but you were gone. I don't like them, you know."
You don’t know what to say. It’s too difficult, too uncertain for you to jump the gun on this. So you just stare at all the shifting colours on his face as he moves closer to you. All this time going over his every detail, and there's still more to be enthralled by.
“I found the paintings,” he says, voice so close you can feel it brushing your skin. “The ones of me. I was looking for you in the Apollo cabin a week ago and you left one out. I knew it was yours because ... I mean, there’s no one in the world that can make me look that … beautiful.” 
The last word is apprehensive but it’s spoken with an unimaginable tenderness. He looks a little teary himself. You think you’re dreaming. “I knew I had to tell you after that. I’ve been trying to tell you. But you started pulling away from me so I thought I was making it all up.”
“Tell me what?” It’s a ghost of a question between you, an impossible thing, but the hand on your arm slips around to your back and he presses it there with such certainty. 
“You’re really gonna make me say it?” He cocks his head, but you nod. “I’m in love with you, I think.”
The words cascade over you in ribbons of warmth. Your brain feels fuzzy, seperate from the rest of your body. Your mouth opens multiple times but you can’t seem to control what comes out. “Luke, are you joking?”
“Not even a little.”
“But you’ve got so many other—”
“I want you.”
“I am literally the most incompetent person alive; I can’t sing, I can’t talk to people, I have a weird knee—”
"Your knee is fine!"
"I'm just saying, this makes no sense from an outsider perspective, it's—"
“Okay, clearly the telling thing isn’t working so I guess I’m just gonna have to kiss you.”
It happens so quickly you don’t have any time to think (probably for the better). You let out a surprised “oh” before his mouth silences you, stopping every other thought. He’s gentle, thumb still rubbing your cheekbone, other hand still firm at your waist. You want to panic—where should you put your hands? How do you know you’re doing this right? But he steadies you, the way he always does, and you give in. 
He starts to smile against your lips. You’re almost positive the intensity of your heartbeat could summon a storm. When he pulls away, he kisses the corners of your mouth and you think you’re going to evaporate. “I don’t think I’m very good at this,” you whisper.
“You’re perfect.” He grins a little when your hands tentatively tug at a curl on the nape of his neck. “And none of that stuff you say is true. I mean, you’re definitely a better singer than me.”
Leaning close to your ear, he warbles out a song you know but gets the words horribly wrong anyways. You can’t help but laugh. “Okay, maybe you have a point.”
He hums and chuckles with you. You swear the moon gets brighter when he wraps his arms around your waist to kiss the side of your face. “Next time you paint me, I want to be there when you do it.”
You blush harder than you ever have in your life. “Only if you try painting me,” you say quietly.
“Of course. You’re very pretty, so I’m sure my horrible artistic skills won’t even make you look bad.”
Luke lets you press your face into the crook of his neck. You soak it up for all it’s worth. 
In the morning, you wake up in the same position. Your nose tucked against his collarbone, the shade of pink you love freckled across his cheeks. You can't wait to paint him again.
When you look out the window, you say a silent, grateful prayer to your mother.
She's given you two more rainbows.
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