#testing reads the thief

[loud-whistling-yes]

nobody touch me i just read kj encore and SO NO ONE'S GONNA FUCKING TALK ABOUT HACHI COMPETING WITH JOKER TO BECOME A THIEF???????

[aryastark-valarmorghulis]

🤦🏻‍♀️ Lestat takes one step as a human, stumbles, falls, almost kills himself after slamming his head against the fireplace like a slapstick movie, and thinks "Haha so funny, Louis would have a good laugh" 🤦🏻‍♀️ NO HE WOULD NOT BE AMUSED IN THE SLIGHTEST *facepalm*

[pucksandpower]

The Girlfriend Test

Lando Norris x girlfriend!Reader

Summary: no new LN merch is deemed ready for sale unless it passes the girlfriend test (or in which you are Lando’s favorite hoodie thief and the sight of another driver’s brand on you drives him just a little bit crazy)

You hear the front door open and close, followed by the sounds of Lando rummaging around in the entryway. “Babe, I’m home!” He calls out.

You’re curled up on the couch in his latest hoodie design, a soft charcoal grey number with black sleeves and his LN logo embroidered over the heart.

“In here!” You reply. Lando comes into the living room and smiles when he sees you wearing his new creation.

“Well hello there, hoodie thief,” he says, leaning down to give you a quick peck on the lips before flopping down on the couch next to you. “So I see you found my newest sample.”

You grin and snuggle further into the super soft fleece. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is my hoodie now.”

Lando laughs and tugs lightly on the hood. “Oh is it now? I could’ve sworn this was a prototype I brought home from my design meeting a few days ago.”

“Nope, definitely mine,” you say cheekily. “It’s so cozy I don’t think I can ever take it off.”

“In that case, I guess it passes the girlfriend test with flying colors,” Lando declares. At your confused look, he elaborates. “Oh, I never told you about the girlfriend test? I can’t launch a new LN design until you have stolen it out of my closet. That’s how I know for sure it’s comfy enough for my fans.”

You raise an eyebrow in amusement. “You’re telling me every hoodie so far has passed this supposed test?”

“You got it,” Lando grins. “I’ll leave the samples laying around and if you end up snagging one and wearing it all the time, I know it’s prime merchandise.”

You think back and realize it’s true — Lando’s hoodies have a habit of migrating into your wardrobe. The papaya one is your go-to for grocery store runs. The tie-dye version is your favorite for lazy Sundays. Even the bold purple hoodie he released last month has already earned a permanent place on your desk chair.

“So you mean to tell me this was all part of your master plan?” You ask in mock offense. “And here I thought I was sneakily stealing your comfiest clothes.”

“Baby, if I really didn’t want you wearing my stuff, I wouldn’t make it so tempting to take,” Lando says sincerely, wrapping an arm around you. “But it makes me so happy to see you in my designs, wearing my brand.”

You cuddle into his shoulder. “That’s really sweet, babe.”

“Anything for my number one fan and favorite hoodie model,” he says, planting a kiss on the top of your head.

You snuggle together in contented silence for a few minutes, your head tucked perfectly under his chin.

“So, how was the simulator today?” You ask. “Get some good practice in for Monza this weekend?”

Lando nods. “Yeah, had a really solid session. Tweaked a few things with the setup that I think will help with the low downforce.”

“Nice,” you say. “Maybe another podium this week?”

“We’ll see,” Lando replies. “Ferrari looked quick in Spa so it could be tough. But I feel good going into the weekend.”

“Well, I know you’ll kill it babe,” you say supportively. Lando smiles gratefully and pulls you closer.

“But anyway, enough about F1. How was your day off?” He asks.

You launch into a recap of your relaxed day — sleeping in, catching up on chores, and working on some creative projects you’ve had on the backburner. Lando listens intently, asking questions and commenting on the new songs and recipes you’re dying to try. The conversation flows easily, as it always does between you two.

Before you know it, Lando’s stomach rumbles loudly and you both crack up. “I guess that means it’s dinnertime,” you say, checking your phone. “Pizza sound good?”

“You read my mind,” Lando replies. While you call in the usual order from your favorite local pizza joint, Lando queues up Netflix and scrolls through options for tonight’s viewing.

Thirty minutes later you’re back on the couch, the coffee table littered with pizza boxes and cans of soda. Lando hits play on an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine and you settle in, toes tucked under his legs to stay cozy.

You’re only halfway through the episode when you feel Lando’s gaze on you. You turn and find him staring at you wearing his newest hoodie creation, a small smile on his lips.

“What’s that look for?” You ask around a mouthful of pizza.

Lando shakes his head, the smile growing wider. “Nothing really. Just thinking about how lucky I am.”

You tilt your head curiously and he continues. “I have my dream job, getting to race cars for a living. And then I come home to you and … I don’t know. It just feels really good. Like everything is kind of falling into place.”

You set down your pizza slice and cuddle up to him. “Aww babe. That’s so sweet.” You give him a greasy kiss on the cheek. “I’m the lucky one you know. I get to see you living your dream every day. And then I get to be here to celebrate the wins with you and cheer you up after the tough days. It’s pretty amazing.”

Lando wraps both arms around you in a hug. “Love you so much,” he says softly.

“Love you more,” you whisper back, your head tucked perfectly under his chin once again.

***

The next evening, you’re sprawled across the bed browsing on your phone when you hear Lando come home.

“Honey, I’m home!” He calls out in a sing-song voice. You grin, expecting him to come give you a kiss. But instead you hear his footsteps stop abruptly.

“Babe, what … is that?” Lando asks slowly.

You look up confused. “What do you mea-”

Then you spot what he’s staring at in horror: the soft teal hoodie you’re wearing with an embroidered Enchanté logo across the front.

“Oh this?” You say casually. “It’s from Daniel’s new merch drop. The fleece is so soft, I couldn’t resist snagging one.”

Lando’s jaw drops open. “You … you bought a hoodie? From a competing merch brand?”

You stifle a laugh at how seriously Lando is taking this. “Well yeah, you gotta support your friends right? And I told you how comfy it looked in his posts.”

Lando just blinks slowly, looking utterly betrayed. You almost feel bad for riling him up.

“Babe, come on, don’t look at me like that! You know I’m your number one fan.” You get up and go to hug him, but Lando dodges you.

“Nope. No hugs until that … that enemy hoodie comes off,” he says dramatically.

Now you really have to hold back your laughter. “Lando, don’t be silly.”

But he crosses his arms and sticks his chin up. “I’m dead serious, Y/N. My own girlfriend, wearing another man’s merch!” He shakes his head in despair.

You bite your lip, trying not to smile at his antics. Time to have some more fun with this.

“Well if you’re going to be like that, maybe I’ll just keep it on,” you say nonchalantly, snuggling back into the ridiculously soft fleece.

Lando’s eyes go wide. “You wouldn’t dare!”

You raise your eyebrows challengingly. “Try me.”

You stare each other down for a few tense moments, before Lando huffs loudly.

“Fine then. Desperate times call for desperate measures.” And with that ominous statement, he lunges forward and lifts you up, tossing you over his shoulder.

“Lando!” You shriek through laughter. “Put me down!”

But he marches down the hall determinedly, you still slung over his shoulder. He brings you into the living room and gently tosses you onto the couch. Before you can react, he rips the Enchanté hoodie up over your head in one swift move.

“Lando!” You squeal, trying to reach for the hoodie, but he’s quicker. In a flash, he has the offending article of clothing in his grip.

“How could you bring this … this enemy propaganda into our home?” Lando accuses dramatically. He holds the hoodie between two fingers like it’s contaminated.

You have to press a hand over your mouth to contain your giggles. Lando looks utterly scandalized at the sight of you in his rival’s merch.

“I’m sorry babe, but you left me no choice,” Lando says solemnly. And with that, he crosses the room, opens the fireplace, and tosses the hoodie in.

You gasp loudly. “Lando Norris, did you just burn my hoodie?”

“I had to protect the sanctity of this home! Can’t have you falling for another man’s branding,” Lando exclaims. But you can see his facade cracking as he fights back a smile of his own.

You get up from the couch and poke him in the chest. “You’re absolutely ridiculous, you know that?”

Lando grins sheepishly. “Maybe. But you love me.”

You roll your eyes but can’t fight back your own smile. “Debatable at the moment,” you joke.

Lando pouts and gives you his best puppy dog eyes. “Come onnnn, you know I’m your favorite driver.”

You pretend to think about it for a moment. “Hmm well Daniel does give the best hugs ...”

“Hey!” Lando exclaims and tackles you into a bear hug. You dissolve into giggles as he squeezes you tight and sways you back and forth.

“Nope, absolutely not allowed,” he declares, still holding you captive.

You lean back to look up at him with a smile. “Oh yeah? And why’s that?”

“Because you’re my girl and I don’t share,” Lando states matter-of-factly. His eyes are soft now as he gazes down at you.

You feel your heart melt a little. You stand on your tiptoes to give him a sweet kiss. “You’re right, I’m all yours Lando.”

His answering smile is dazzling. But then a thought seems to occur to him and a grin spreads across his face.

In one smooth motion, he strips off the neon green hoodie he’s wearing, leaving just a black t-shirt underneath. Before you can react, he pulls it down over your head, enveloping you in soft fleece that smells like him.

“There. That’s better,” Lando declares satisfied.

You snuggle happily into Lando’s worn hoodie, his warmth still lingering in the fabric. Looking down, you recognize it as the exclusive design he wore constantly last season.

Lando’s eyes crease with happiness as he looks at you swimming in his hoodie. “That’s my girl,” he says softly, pulling you close again.

You nuzzle into his chest, perfectly content.

“Am I forgiven for my momentary lapse in loyalty?” You ask cheekily, peering up at him.

Lando pretends to consider this for a moment. “Hmmm, I guess I can let it slide this one time,” he teases back. “But only because you look so damn cute in my clothes.”

You smile and tighten your arms around him. You sway together slowly, Lando humming tunelessly under his breath. The fireplace crackles gently beside you.

After a few moments, Lando speaks again, his voice quiet. “You know I was only joking around before, right? You can wear whatever you want babe.”

You lean back to meet his gaze. His brown eyes are warm but serious now.

You touch his cheek softly. “Of course I know that Lando. Your hoodies might be the comfiest, but they’re not the only clothes I own.”

Lando nods, looking relieved that you understand. “I just never want you to feel like you have to choose between me and your own style or interests.” His voice is earnest. “I want you to always feel free to be yourself.”

Your heart swells at his words. You reach up and kiss him tenderly. When you pull back, Lando is smiling again.

“Thanks babe,” you say. “That really means a lot to me. And same to you, obviously.”

Lando grins. “Of course, it’s you and me against the world! Oh, and McLaren against the other teams,” he adds cheekily.

You laugh and snuggle back into his chest. “Yes, McLaren over all,” you agree, just to make him happy.

“That’s my girl,” Lando says again, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

[soullessdianthus]

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐯!𝐊ö𝐧𝐢𝐠 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

Warnings: obsessive behaviour, dubcon/noncon for the last few headcanons (I've put a warning if you want to stop reading)

Poorly translated German, correct me if needed!

Important note at the end!

✧°.  König is a kind of pervert who fantasizes about you, when he beats his meaty cock with his hand, imagining all of the possible scenarios in his head.

✧°.  With you bend over the surface of the table or desk and him pounding into your tight cunt from behind. Your hair falls out through his thick fingers as he tugs on them to arch your spine better.

✧°.  Perv!König can’t help but stare at your breasts from above (thanks to his height), exposed by the cleavage of your shirt. A soft, plump flesh squeezed by a little to small size of bra. Did you do that on purpose to torment him with the beautiful sight?

✧°.  He wants to sneak his warm hand under your shirt and fondle them, play with both nipples until they’re perky, before he finally laps at them with his wet mouth and sucks.

✧°.  His cock twitches painfully when he sees you with a gun holster or climbing equipment on. The stiff material digging into your plush thighs, one stripe just under the curve of your ass. It gives Perv!König the new fixation he would like to test out with you – a shibari or any other bondage. 

✧°.  Just to have you tied up like a little gift and on his sick mercy.

✧°.  But there would come time, where the fantasies, weirdly specific porn and fucking his own palm is not enough, he craves more.

✧°.  König starts to supervise your training with a gun or in a gym. Instead of just verbally correcting your aiming posture, he would stand behind you, his bulky arms wrapped around your sides. He would lean over your shoulder and whisper a few words in German. Quickly and incoherently, but you didn’t understand it anyways! You don’t know German! 

✧°.  “Fokus auf das Ziel, nicht mein Schwanz, Schlampe" [ger.: Focus on the target, not my dick, slut].”

✧°.  Perv!König is delusional as fuck. He would interpret your confusion and shyness in such situations with succumbing to his flirting. Your eyes were begging for his attention, ja? 

✧°.  He would absolutely push your limits, telling you to do a series or two more in the gym just to hear your little whines and moans due to your hard work! 

✧°.  Not to mention how König is fascinated with your scent even after such an intense workout. The sweat glistening on your smooth skin, pretty face red from exhaustion. You looked exactly just like he imagines you after being fucked stupid. 

✧°.  But even creeping on you in the gym or armory wasn’t enough for Perv!König! He still wants more! 

✧°.  I bet we can all agree that he would be a panty thief, especially those used ones. König would take them out of the laundry and rub along his painfully throbbing cock just to cum into them! 

✧°.  And then he put them back in the basket and pretended like nothing happened. Although, he was a little sad that you didn’t put them on with his warm seed still on it. 

✧°.  This way Perv!König could mark you as his girl. <3

✧°.  Perv!König would sneak to the bathroom to peek at you taking a bath or shower, admiring your naked body from a safe distance.

[Dubcon/Noncon Warning]

✧°.  If you ever happen to get super drunk while hanging out with him, Perv!König would absolutely take advantage of your easily persuasive state. Pulling you into his lap, because it’s more comfortable than a wooden chair, ja? Just to help you relax, because you seemed so nervous about getting drunk with your Colonel!

✧°.  König would place his big hand over your stomach and slowly slide down, under the hem of your pants. When you started mumbling something in your drunken state, he was quick to whisper little praises into your ear, assuring he would take good care of you. 

✧°.  His fingers easily found their way into your panties – who knows, maybe it was the same pair he jerked himself into before? Perv!König took his time playing with you, rubbing your clit in circles, before he eventually plunged two of his thick fingers into your sweet pussy. 

✧°.  He had to shush your precious mewls, when he continued stroking that specific spongy spot inside of you, until you came onto his fingers, still sitting prettily in his lap. Like a trophy. King’s trophy.

A/N: This was highly requested and let me tell you ─ I have two more pervy scenarios in the drafts: Perv!Boyfriend!König and Perv!Landlord!König. It depends if you want to read those. Let me know please. 👉👈

[laxxarian]

Graves Are A Gateway

After everything the Amity Park went through, they all became more used to Danny Phantom as Danny Fenton.

Now they're all just accustomed and adapted to the ghost fights and even advised Danny how to fight without destruction in the town while Danny's parents would go around building some ghost repellent in others home in case an actual evil ghost would come and also built a training room for Danny to practice his powers without destroying anything.

They discovered and enhanced Danny's powers and one of them seemed to intrigue Sam.

A power to go to a far place by using Danny's grave as his teleporter and they could build at least three graves for him at max.

And Sam suggested to build one in Gotham since Sam usually visits Gotham because of charity and all that and also in Metropolis since the hero there could help Danny if anything went wrong.

Sam doesn't know about Batman since she's more focused on the gothic themes.

The third one would be at his parents backyard so that Danny could go home quickly.

And so, it was decided.

One in Gotham.

One in Metropolis.

And one in Fenton Works.

)-(

One day, Sam went to Gotham and invited Danny and Tucker to test out the grave she built a few months back and the trio plans to meet at Wayne Enterprises. Sadly, Tucker can't go with Danny, not because he was busy, but because the grave only works for the owner which is Danny. Graves are a personal thing.

So Tucker took a plane instead and Danny went to his grave. But as he came out of his grave, he saw two men who looked like a thief, and the two were tied up by the people who were in costumes.

)-(

Robin (Damien) was right behind Danny's grave and saw the whole thing.

A ghost coming out of his half-dugged grave.

)-(

Before Danny came, Batman, Nightwing and Robin were on patrol. Nightwing is there to catch up.

And the three just saw a grave digger so they went and easily apprehended the criminals.

Nightwing read the tombstone for whose grave that they were to dig up, it was Danny Fenton's and he died quite young. Close to Damien's age.

Nightwing was mad and questioned the criminals while Batman called for the police and stuff while Robin was just right behind the grave when he saw the ghost boy coming out.

[mixingpumpkins]

Man, we really lost when we decided that the best way to feel safe or to try to prevent bad things from happening is to assume malicious intent from everyone and police every little fucking thing about existing.

Want to go shopping? You'll be treated like a thief. Security cameras, anti-theft sensors by the door, and a staff that may or may not follow you around isn't enough; we're also putting security tags on every single piece of $4 underwear in the bargain bin and keeping everything on the shelves under lock and key, so you can't even look at it without staff assistance/supervision. No, cameras and staff monitoring checkouts isn't enough. We also need someone else searching your bags and verifying your receipts at the door. (And god help you if a security sensor somewhere didn't get deactivated properly and the door alarm goes off.)

Are you a student taking an exam? We've already decided you're a cheater. Of course you are — all students cheat. So you get assigned, spaced out seats in the testing room, surrounded by cameras. Show us your photo ID at the door. Nothing goes in the room with you but your pencil. Leave your phone, wallet, water, and anything else in a locker outside. All your jewelry, too. No long sleeves. Let us check your hair/headbands/pockets/ears/religious garb in case you're smuggling something in. Need to leave for the restroom? No, you don't, or your exam is done. Emergency? You can choose between literally shitting yourself or failing your course and risking expulsion for cheating.

Online exam? Prepare to be subject to literal spyware. Your eyes better not waver a fraction out of the "acceptable" gaze window. Don't press any button you're not supposed to or mis-click anything; that's proof you're trying to cheat. Don't even think about shifting in your seat, even if your test is two hours long.

Do you work? It'd better be at top speed and no errors at all times. We have security cameras trained on you every moment, sensitive enough to read the text of any paper you handle. We're tracking exactly what you do and how fast. Did your metrics slip for even a second? Unacceptable, even if your rate is otherwise within our "acceptable" range, because we know you can work faster. Yawn? How dare you — we don't pay you to be tired. You're not working hard enough. You must not have enough to do — your requirements have now tripled and we've cut your pay as an incentive not to waste time again. Make a mistake? You must have done it on purpose. You must be trying to steal or sabotage. We'll be evaluating to see how quickly we can fire you and if we can press charges or sue you for damages.

Need to travel via plane? It doesn't matter if you're paying through the nose to do so; you're clearly a criminal who's only not committing a crime at this very moment because you're outnumbered by security officers. We need to question you excessively if you don't look exactly like your ID picture taken three years ago. Take off half your clothes and walk through our scanners that will basically show you without them. (Then prepare to be wanded, and possibly groped — maybe even by more than one person — and if we really feel like it, taken to another room to be stripped and questioned further.) You can't take some necessities with you. Your belongings will be x-rayed and pawed through and commented upon, and they're maybe even a reason to detain and question you further. Why does your purse have suspicious organic matter in it? No, that can't possibly be a bag of fruit snacks you bought from the kiosk 20 feet away; you're trying to hide explosives.

Need medication? You're lying. You're faking. You're just trying to get drugs. You're an addict. You're a dealer. No, you don't have a condition that really requires medication; if you just slept more/lost weight/did yoga/were a better person, you wouldn't have to feel like you need to use drugs. We don't care if your doctor says you need this medication — your insurance company says you don't. Oh, you can afford it anyway? At that price? You must be reselling. We need to investigate and put notes on your file.

Communicating via message? God forbid you take even a fraction of a second too long to respond. You must be trying to hide something. You're slacking off your work. You must be cheating on your partner. You must have a problem with the sender and are leaving them out of something. You left them on read; you're being a bitch. You edited a response or took too long to type something — you're actually being mean and manipulative by not just saying what was on your mind first. Company policy is we get to see everything on your devices. You shouldn't have a problem sharing your personal location/passwords/etc. with your partner if you're not up to no good.

Want to simply exist where a stranger might see you? That's suspicious. What are you doing out here? We don't recognize you. You must be stealing. You must be casing the houses or stores in this neighborhood. You must be looking for someone to rob/assault/harass/etc. You must be part of that rabble claiming they're protesting to cover up the nuisances and criminals they are. Why did you hold a door for me — are you trying to get behind me? Why have I seen you more than once while I'm shopping here — are you following me? Why did you smile at me — do you have a problem? Why are you walking down the street? Why are you sitting on a bench? Why are you visiting the library? Why are you eating alone at the cafe? You don't look like you belong here. You look like a creep. You need the police to come handle you. (If they use force, that just shows you were up to something and totally deserve it.)

Want to exist online? We need to know everything about you — your real name, address, email, age — to ensure you're not a criminal. But you're probably also lying. We need to spy on everything you do, too: every site you visit (and how long you spend there), every purchase you make, every message you send, every search you do. We will take everything you say in bad faith, so be careful about what you post. But it's also extremely suspicious if you don't post — who doesn't have an extensive social media presence these days? What are you trying to hide? You need to indicate that you think the right way. You aren't posting about this — you must not care; you must be a bad person. You deleted an old post — you must be trying to hide your awful views. You can't possibly just be removing things from your profile that no longer reflect who you are. You posted something that I don't like — I knew there was something off about you. It's not a leap to think you're also into worse things. You're probably a pervert. You're actually a criminal of the worst sort and this is an early warning sign for those of us who are smart enough to see it. We're only accusing you of these things NOW so you don't have an opportunity to do them.

Didn't you know? You need to be constantly watched and humiliated and inconvenienced and sometimes even attacked because that's the only thing standing in the way of bad things happening. If you find all this demeaning, there's something wrong with you. Only criminals would rather trade this for being less safe. You don't want us to go from thinking you're a criminal to knowing you're a criminal, do you?

...

Like, fuck. Aren't you tired of living like this???

Some of this stuff has been around for a long time, and it obviously isn't applied evenly across all demographics. But a lot of it has also gotten exponentially worse within the past few decades. Please don't ever accept any of this as normal or necessary or good, because it's not. I'm going insane watching people shrugging off the increasing infantilization and dehumanization of everyone just because this is all they can remember.

It doesn't have to be this way. Don't ever take this shit as a given — it wasn't that long ago that some of this would have been unthinkable. And the instant someone starts talking about doing things a certain way/supporting certain things because of "safety" or "security," be very careful about blindly agreeing with them. We lose very real, important things in pursuit of the nebulous concept of "safety."

[my313]

milk teeth ୧ ‧₊˚ 🥛 ⋅ ☆ kang taehyun

now playing 𝄞₊⊹ milk teeth - niki

⋆ pairing: taehyun x f!reader 

⋆ summary: taehyun loves the things you do for him. he loves how familiar you are. probably more than he ever liked you.

⋆ genre/themes/warnings: angst, suggestive (implied former sneaky link!tyun, implications of sex), unhealthy relationship ++ scenes in italics are flashbacks

⋆ word count: 2.6k

a/n: sorry to solomons he was my muse for this song.... I PROMISE ITS NOT THAAAAT BAD I THINK?? lmk actually if this is sad enough.. highly rec listening to the song while reading, i ref some scenes and lines throughout n just... i love the lyrics ! underrated nicole track icb she wrote this in high school lmao

taehyun had been something between a secret lover and a stranger in the past few months. over the course of your frail affiliation, you jump between thinking that the world was testing you by sending over a guy who would kiss your forehead in the comfort of your dorm room but never look you in the eye in-front of his friends; to being so overtaken by infatuation each time you see his bare skin against your sheets, the sun kissing him on places you’ve found yourself feathering over the night before.

the daydream always shatters when you wake the morning after and the only remnants of his existence within your bedroom are the stains on your bed and the warmth of his body clinging desperately onto where he slept. it’s easy for that dream to rekindle every night; because when taehyun’s at your doorstep with a huge grin on his face, you can’t help but leap into his arms.

when you feel the sun joining you in bed and instead of a phantom of his physique, you find taehyun sound asleep next to you; you can’t fall back asleep. you prop yourself on your side, cheek pressed on your hand and elbow holding your weight, admiring the rare view bestowed upon you. you think it won’t be as rare to see now that taehyun’s your boyfriend — a newly-formed title that came into fruition just yesterday. it wasn’t the most romantic way to ask, settling for a conversation on this very bed after showering together. 

it went along the lines of you saying:

“i’m starting to like you a lot, taehyun.” 

your back is against his chest, situated between his legs. “yeah?” you etch taehyun’s half-smile, half-smirk in your mind as he plays with your hair. it almost feels like he’s finally in the room with you, not drifting away, someplace else, when you confess. you push the thought to back of your head when you feel his chest rumble from a laugh. “have i stolen your heart yet?” 

“...y/n, you thief.”

“am not!” you refute, silly smile stretching your lips, cheeks swelling from the searing affection taehyun offers. it probably burns, but you can’t resist – not when you’re usually off scraping corners of his lukewarm responses and icy texts. 

“can i keep it though?” the tone of your voice is hopeful, and taehyun doesn’t have it in him to say anything but yes. he doesn’t know why he does this, is it because you’re nice? the girl you love should probably have more words under her belt than nice. but that’s what taehyun settles for. 

you’re so nice that taehyun doesn’t even have to spew out the question. 

“can i be your girlfriend, i mean.” you clarify, assuming the silence on his end stemmed from confusion. or that’s what you’ve convinced yourself these kind of moments were; the times where taehyun reels back in and decides you’ve seen enough of his kinder gestures for the time being. 

he nods.

giddy, anxious, once again hauled into infatuation; these are the things that culminate in your chest as you watch taehyun stir. 

you don’t bother to look away once his eyes flutter open, wincing at the light sneaking between your blinds. “morning, boyfriend.” his lips curve into a small smile, “morning, girlfriend.”

you sit up expectantly, wanting to start the day with all these ideas that have been blossoming since you started liking taehyun. things like making pancakes when he finally stayed long enough until the morning, or simpler ideas like struggling to leave the bed and being tugged back into his arms, “five more minutes…” tickling your nape as he nuzzles into you. 

your ideas start to dwindle when taehyun’s first course of action is to pick up his phone and look through his texts. you’re left blinking, confused by the nonchalance that clouded the air in your room. you should be used to this by now. the push and pull was always what made you come back to him anyway; but in your brain, after the intimacy of last night, you had hoped that taehyun’s hot-and-cold would begin to melt.

you don’t want to think about it. giving taehyun the benefit of the doubt is always easier than having to recode your mind to admitting that you just like him a lot more than he does you. you already have a boatload of excuses piled up from all the times you had to defend your crush on him from your friends; always something about “he’s never had a serious relationship, he doesn’t know!” or “he’s just not that kind of guy, y’know..”

instead, you’re pushing yourself out of bed, and that is thankfully enough for taehyun to look up in surprise.

“want pancakes for breakfast?” 

‧₊˚ ⋅ ☆

you’re sitting in the back of his friend yeonjun’s car the next time taehyun invites you outside of your stay-at-home ‘dates’. 

you’re squished between two long-legged boys, soobin and kai, while beomgyu called dibs on the very back, using the excuse of “somebody needs to hold our shit from falling” as a guise for wanting to catch up on sleep. taehyun’s in front with yeonjun, chatting with a carefree smile.

that kind of smile was reserved for people you knew taehyun held no doubt for. the kind of people that taehyun’s already settled into and signed his lease. you’re a hostel in taehyun’s unknowing search for a home, you start to think.

but you’re young, and there’s plenty of time for renovations and renewals. maybe in a few months time, taehyun’s “nice” and “cute” will turn into “beautiful” and “kind-hearted.” in a few months time, you’ll be more than a place to lounge and leave; perhaps even earn his breathless laughs and sparkling eyes. 

today, your destination is a barred cliff overlooking the view of your hometown. beomgyu suggested watching the sundown before spring started, ever the romantic. he’s also the reason taehyun even bothered to bring you; the invite making you audibly gasp over the phone when he called, asking just half an hour before they were set to go. taehyun always did that — made plans and canceled; only to call you a few hours later, when the sinking feeling finally set in and you were ready to push it to the backburner, saying “i’m coming over.”

you’re leaning against the side of yeonjun’s car, taehyun on the edge of the hood and the rest of the boys scattered just around the front. by the time you’ve arrived, the chill of the upcoming night was beginning to creep up. 

kai picks up on how much you’re feeling the cold. your teeth are chattering, and your posture hunched into your own body, arms crossed and trying to keep yourself as warm as you could. he blinks at taehyun’s apathy. you’re right next to him, there is no way he couldn’t hear the way your teeth crash against one another, or the hisses you unconsciously spew. 

“dude, y/n looks like she’s dying.” kai finally speaks up, interrupting the flow of conversation between his friends.

all five turn to look at you. you feel like you’re being watched like a wild animal at the zoo, scowling at beomgyu’s laughter. his teasing begins, taking advantage of being on taehyun’s other side, sprawled on the hood. he pokes his friend’s forearms, “yeah, tyunnie, y/n looks like she’s dying. why don’t you go warm her up?” his mischievous antics have your heartbeat picking up. you don’t know whether to thank him or jump him.

you’re anxious, for some reason; but you’re also wide-eyed and expectant. you’ve been dating taehyun for a month now and his friends have been warming up to your relationship, though you can’t get beomgyu’s words out of your head — much like now. 

you recall it was at one of yeonjun’s parties.

beomgyu hovered around you and taehyun that night, tipsy for the first time in a while. the air was silent, each breath clinging onto the question that beomgyu spilled that night: 

“why don’t you ever do anything.. like.. couple-y with y/n? i swear- i’ve only seen you makeout. and that was before you even started dating!”

beomgyu always seemed to know the pain points of your sluggish relationship.

taehyun rolls his eyes at beomgyu’s jabs, though his smile reflects different from the snarky glint in his eyes. you don’t know what he’ll do. will he tug at your arm and pull you over his lap, wrap his arms around you? say “i’ll keep her warm, don’t worry.” and keep you close for the rest of the evening, until the stars wake from their slumber?

your arms are wide open for anything. any semblance of affection or care, anything to make you feel like taehyun isn’t just keeping you for the sake of avoiding being the primary source of your heartbreak. sometimes, it felt like he kept tabs on you like someone who had forgotten about a game they once liked, habitually coming back but never in the same intensity. you remember how he looked at you so hungrily the first time you met. you only ever get glimpses of his twinkling eyes when he has you under him.

your boyfriend shrugs his jacket off and pushes it in your direction, barely looking at your pitiful state. this time, even beomgyu knows to hold his tongue when you both share the same look of disappointment and confusion at taehyun’s frigidity. taehyun resumes his conversation with soobin, though the latter boy awkwardly smiles at you, dimples providing some comfort. 

“thanks,” you mutter, holding the jacket to your chest before slipping your arms through the sleeves. you don’t feel much warmer, even with the makeshift feeling of taehyun’s body heat radiating from the inside of his jacket, right on your bare skin. 

you’re not sure if it’s the wind that’s keeping you shivering, or the awful feeling that you’ve made the wrong choice.

‧₊˚ ⋅ ☆

“why don’t we ever go on dates, taehyun?” you quiz, half-curious and half-unprepared for the answer you’re going to get. if you get to that point. but tonight, you’re determined to know.

it’s been four months since you and taehyun have started dating, and nothing much has changed from where you started. except for the fact that taehyun thinks he’s starting to get better at keeping you at bay; knowing the right words to say at the right time, being aware of your weak points and using his kisses as a way to sway your lips away from yet another important conversation.

“what do you mean, babe?” he only calls you that when he wants to shut you down. “we just had one. the movie marathon yesterday?” 

“no, i mean–” your voice is stuck in your throat. taehyun often has that effect on you. at first, starstruck from seeing him at a frat party; then, when he’s pushing your head down onto the pillow as you tremble beneath him; and now, too cowardly to know how he truly feels about you, but too fed-up not knowing.

“i mean outside dates,” you explain, fingers fiddling aimlessly with each other, trying your best to keep looking at taehyun. he’s sitting across from you, on your bed, again. this godforsaken place that started the turmoil in the first place. “we never do anything planned. we don’t even go out for anniversaries or anything, tyunnie.” you hope the nickname softens the blow.

“i just like being at home with you, love.” taehyun answers gently, like he knows he’s treading on dangerous grounds right now. he doesn’t want to hurt you, and he doesn’t want you blaming him for anything that happens once you’re just another travel stamp on his life; permanently a memory. 

despite his consistent nonchalance towards you, taehyun can admit to himself that not having you around would be odd. it would be inconvenient, would be the better word to describe it. your hopes of becoming more than “nice” and “cute” have transformed to something arguably worse; now, you’re “helpful” and “grounding.” 

he couldn’t survive without you, but not for the passionate, romantic reasons you long for. taehyun knows this; that he loves the familiarity of you more than he likes you. he likes the heat that radiates off your body more than your body itself; the habits you’ve grown into that he’s responsible for, like the pancakes you make every sunday morning or how you’re always prepared to run to him when he needs you. he doesn’t remember you calling for him like that (though he doesn’t know if he would drop anything as fast as you had done).

“taehyun.” 

“what..?”

“you don’t really mean that,” you shake your head, now unable to keep your eyes trained on him. you opt for the solid colour of your sheets.

“why are you.. doubting me?” 

“because you’re never here!” your voice is strained; you try to say it in some sort of yell, but it comes out as a desperate screech. “and i mean your mind. your heart. whatever the fuck it is. your body’s here, but you’re always drifting somewhere else!”

you keep going. your mouth is spilling words like a waterfall, the most you’ve ever truthfully said in taehyun’s presence. “you don’t even like being around me. you do just enough to keep us alive, and then you half-ass it until you have to fix it again. what– what kind of relationship is this?”

“babe, wait,” taehyun’s moved from his spot now, laying his palms flat on your shoulders and trying to ease your outburst. you’re starting to sob, hiccups replacing your words. “i-i’m sorry if i made you feel that way–”

“if?” you scoff, and taehyun is taken aback. you’ve been rather docile and forgiving for most of the time taehyun has known you, only ever yelling at beomgyu that one time. 

“i mean– i’m sorry that i made you feel that way, baby..” he soothes you, taking your hands and trying to get you close. 

“i think we should stop here.” your words are firm in spite of the trembles underneath. 

taehyun pauses. it’s the first time you’ve seen him display some sort of fear over you. 

“no, no, no,” he’s desperately clutching your hands to his chest, bringing your knuckles to his lips and pressing kisses to the back of your hand. “it’s only been a few months. i’m just going through something right now, baby. i promise.”

your courage only takes you so far, because you let taehyun toy with your hands, bring his face close enough to make you fluster and cave.

he puts your intertwined hands down, a thud against your unassuming mattress. taehyun’s saving face by pressing his forehead against yours, lips hovering over one another. “i’ll make it better. i’ll be better, i swear.”

so you do. you cave. 

when you feel his lips on yours, you know you’re doomed to unwrap the fabric and find you’re still bloodied; that your relationship is bound to break its fragile bones beyond repair. still, another empty kiss bandages over the scabs and wounds you’ve accumulated over the course of your ‘love’ and you make-believe that it isn’t too bad. not at all.

[skippyin]

Kept thinking about that first post I did and wanted to draw a scene like this. Idk I thought it'd be neat :)

If you're interested in the details of this idea then feel free to read below the cut!

Yusuke would appear around Ryoshima Coast where he would quickly start gaining a reputation as a mysterious thief, stealing from the Aristocratic Quarter of Sei’an City in an attempt to help the starving and dying people in the Commoner's Quarter. With demons running amok and their curses causing the land to wither, he would do his best to try to investigate and keep civilian casualties to a minimum. Patrolling the city at night to kill any wandering demons and aid those in need, he would quickly gain many supporters who consider him a hero while others consider him a criminal or even a demon himself.

Before this, he would be responsible for stealing the Fox Rods from Ninetails in order to stop his attack on the Dragon Palace. This means the Water Dragon debacle wouldn't happen in this course of events, and King Wada would live. This earned Yusuke a massive target on his back, as Ninetails will do all he can to get those back, even going so far as to try to pit Amaterasu against him.

I imagine Yusuke and Amaterasu would meet while Yusuke was in his civilian attire, but after learning that she is a Goddess, would probably want to test her. Hence the scene above. After all, all the Gods he's met so far haven't been the most... Benevolent. Getting snapped out of existence when you're only 16 tends to be traumatic! Who knew! :Y And that's only covering Yaldabaoth!

But yeah these are just some of the fun ideas I had for this crossover idea. Hope you guys like it :>

[nocturnowlette]

Hypnosis File Recommendations!

Previous File Recommendation Post Here

I've been gently motivated to start listening to and re-finding old hypnosis files again due to the reception to the previous post. I've been surprised at the amount of actually decent files I've come to remember, but still struggle to find many files that really blow me away. As I've said before, though, I'm a very stubborn owl.

That all being said, here are more files for your consideration.

Read all descriptions and warnings before engaging with these files. Do not engage with anything here or anything in my blog if you are under 18.

--------------------------------------------------------

Dr. Voidritch's Experiment by Bloof

This is a ren.py game about being being a test subject for the eccentric Dr. Voidritch and his hypnotic experiments. It's rather silly and fun, while still having real hypnosis, and fairly competently done hypnosis at that. It's best to download it instead of running on browser.

There is also a sequel to this game called Lavender Labs, though I have not tried it. It seems a lot more like a slice of life thing with dating and hypnosis from the screenshots though.

The rest of these recommendations for today will be about one person, Dragontize.

I rediscovered her shortly after the last recommendation post, and was pleasantly surprised. The best way to describe her overall vibe is "deceptively cute".

She opens every file with the same endearing tagline, "Hello world, I'm Dragontize, I messssmerize with voice and eyes." Her voice is light and enjoyable, the intonation the type to make the edges of your mind feel like they're oozing with pleasant sensations in a minute or two of talking.

Her files are much more directly practical and hypnosis-centric than most, with even her fantastical story-based files keeping a good balance. This is all to say that at a minimum, you will enjoy yourself with these files, even if they may not blow you away.

A Slice of Fractionation by Dragontize

This is how I re-found Dragontize, the actual original file with Evil Fractionation I found! I couldn't locate it for a long time, and realized that the issue was DuckDuckGo being a kinda bad search engine when it comes to specific things.

While I'm working on an Evil Fractionation file myself, this one is a nice and casual overview of it.

Brainwashing Fractionation by Dragontize

A very straightforward and enjoyable fractionation file with the light theming of becoming a member of Dragontize Inc.

For the Very Motivated Subject by Dragontize

This is maybe her best file. It does an interesting sort of thing where the file functions as if you're in the room with her, signaling multiple times that she has moved in some way, but without actually seeing her at all. It doesn't overly describe what she is doing, it's a very naturalistic sort of script in contrast to the often overdetailed storybook manner that others do.

It also very effectively plays with the concepts of anticipation and focus. It demonstrates a better understanding of the psychological aspects of hypnosis than a lot of others.

Good Little Thief by Dragontize

Lastly, a light and fun fantasy session. It's about a thief that is tasked to steal something from a wizard. That's all I'll say.

I've been enjoying going through files even if I don't find many of them super effective. I hope you all will be able to enjoy them even more than I have.

[misscinnamonroll16]

Headcanons for brozone

Floyd is a clothing thief. He does not care that this shirt is huge on him, it's his now!

John Dory walks around the bunker in his underwear. When Poppy comes over, she announces as she comes down "hey, I'm here. Puts some pants on!" Viva doesn't do that, she's quiet until she sees JD and yells at him to "put on some God damn pants!"

John can bake. He had a love interest that he went all out for with baked goods but sadly they didn't feel the same.

I've already said Floyd is a decent artist, his favorite medium is either charcoal or paint. It's being able to see how much work has been done by how dirty he is. The bunker gets a fresh coat of paint once Floyd gets in there (and is feeling up to it).

JD leans back in his chair constantly. Like lifts it off the ground leaning back. He's fallen a handful of times in front of the others. It's embarrassing but it's his own fault

John and Bruce can and will hit the others with a wooden spoon when cooking. Clay runs in while one of them is cooking and tries to sneak a taste and gets his hand smacked with a wooden spoon. They got it from their grandma.

I feel like Floyd is the brother that would put ranch on everything

John is definitely the one to announce when he's gotta take a shit. Half bc he knows one of the others has company and it will embarrass them, half bc he has no concept of socially acceptable behavior or bc he's just that comfortable around his brothers

Clay read Harry Potter and is a Slytherin. He made Viva take the test as well (she's a Gryffindor)

Clay's special interests as a child were dinosaurs and math (he's a nerdy kid)

Clay can burp on command and has tried to burp his ABC's

John is a sad drunk. He gets super upset over nothing. "I don't cry easily." "Just last night you were crying over snakes." "They don't have arms, it's sad!"

John has chapped lips bc he keeps biting the skin off. It's from his anxiety

Clay likes doing weird voices and impressions

Floyd used to call his brothers bubby. Not so much now that they're older but every so often one slips out.

Clay is naturally funny. He doesn't have to try or force it, it just happens

John Dory taught Bruce who to flirt. Bruce just got better at it than him.

All of the brothers are sassy as fuck. Sassy and sarcastic.

Floyd likes wearing dresses and skirts sometimes

Floyd stretches like a cat.

Floyd still gets pains in his arms and legs from the V&V incident

Clay can braid hair. He's not as fast or as good as Viva but he can still do it

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

June 4th

~*~

1. For the next Fic Finder, I read this long time ago and can't remember the title but it was a long fic (one shot) and I remember it was an AU (kinda futuristic from what I remember) where Wei Ying was a werewolf shifter and he was on the run when he got transported/summoned to another world by some mages Lan Zhan being among them when he first came to the new world. There's some magic academy mystery they needed his help with and in the end Wei Ying stays in the new world with Lan Zhan. I also remember towards the end, the reason Lan Zhan was involved and so intrigued by Wei Ying because his brother turned into a werewolf but with none of his humanity and he was trying to find a solution to save him. Wei Ying was helping with him when he went back with Lan Zhan to his home.

I would be so grateful if anyone knows this fic!! @cara-tanaka

FOUND? Ribbons and Heartsongs by jeyhawk (E, 36k, WangXian, Fantasy AU, Science Fiction AU, Dimension Travel, Case Fic, Loss of Virginity, Marriage Proposal, Pining, Sharing a Bed, Anal Sex, WWX is a werewolf, but it's not a typical werewolf au)

~*~

2. Hi mojo! Just want to say ur blog is soooooo helpfull and i am on it everyday!!! I was looking for this fic where lwj and wwx get stuck in a coffin because there are some thiefs who break in to find something id remember and lwj gets dirty with wwx and *ahem*😏 f**gers (fingers) him and wwx starts screaming for help. That's all.Hope you can help me find it 🥺.Thank you, Bye Mojo 👋🏻

Found?🔒 Tomb raider by Aki_no_hikari (E, 6k, WangXian, Case Fic, Anal Fingering, Dry Humping, wangxian have sex in a coffin)

~*~

3. Hello! I've read a couple years ago a WangXian fic in Modern AU, I believe it was.

I don't remember if it was pwp or not, but I wanna read it again! lwj might have been a university professor or TA, I don't remember. I know wwx came by earlier then his pears for the lecture / test, things happened and he got on to work. Blowjob lwj under the desk with the other students taking a test. Something like this.

Please help me find it! 😭😭

FOUND? but you brought me to my knees by orphan_account (E, 3k, WangXian, Modern, College/University, Shameless Smut, Oral Sex, Blow Jobs, Under-Desk Blow Jobs, Face-Fucking, Choking Spanking, (just once), Cock Slut, Crossdressing, Teacher-Student Relationship, PWP)

~*~

4. hello! I went through all of my bookmarks to find a fic I suddenly thought of but unfortunately, I couldn't find it. I only remembered a scene where alpha!wwx gave something to omega!lwj (not really sure if it was a suppressant, but if I remember it right, it's something he could use to conceal his scent) jiang cheng was with wwx when he gave it to lwj. wwx also had a conversation with jyl about why a certain omega's scent bothers him (not bother in a bad way). I don't know if it was a getting together fic but yeah, wwx had some realizations. that's all I have. I would appreciate the help! thank youuu!

~*~

5. Hey there, love the work you do, giving me reading material for years. This time I come before you because I failed to track my fics like an amateur.

So this fic was had age reversal among the twin jades and there was something about lwj bonding with nmj as big bros. Pretty sure wangxian was involved, not sure though.

Ik it's all over the place but let me know if you find it.

FOUND? Strong enough to carry him- he ain't heavy, he's my brother. by Starlitverses (Not Rated , 5k, LXC & LWJ, WangXian, LWJ & NMJ, LXC & NHS & NMJ, WIP, Twin Jades of Lan Dynamics, Brotherly Love, LXC Deserves Happiness, Protective LWJ, Age Swap, First jade LWJ, Second Jade LXC, Sect Leader LWJ, LWJ being the protective older brother, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives,bFluff and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt LWJ, Hurt LXC , LXC & WWX Friendship, Protective Older Brothers, NMJ & LWJ bonding over their little brothers, WangXian learn actual communication, Meddling LXC, you thought older brother LXC was scary? LWJ is worse, Older LWJ, Older WWX, everyone loves and wants to protect LXC, LXC-centric, LWJ will destroy anyone that hurts his brother) haven't read it but the tags sound like what you were looking for!

~*~

6. Fic Finder ask: Idr anything else, but I vividly remember this one paragraph where WWX and LWJ were in a relationship(I think it was young love but it might not have been, I just remember picturing them very young and wwx in his og body) and WWX was working hard on something(I think it was talisman related but that’s also a variable)and to take a break from it he’d turn to LWJ and jump him req-ing “rape” which was just shorthand for woo hoo with cannon kinks.(which was explained in the text)

~*~

7. Hi!! I've looked for this fic on ao3 and my bookmarks list but I was unable to find it, maybe I've been filtering with wrong tags or keywords.

But from what I remember, it was an au where if you love someone enough, the first time you touch them you leave a colored mark on them. Wwx has left his signature red on most people, but has never had any marks left on him, not even from jyl. So he always covers himself up and wears gloves, accepting he'd never be loved, until of course Lwj leaves a blue hand print on him. It isn't a soulmate au though, I don't exactly remember if it was canon settings or modern settings.

Hope you can find it easily and many thanks for your hardwork :> @songtaegguk

That sounds like one of these -

FOUND? leading tone by silencemostofall (G, 32k, WangXian, Modern AU, Soulmates, with a lil twist, Eventual Happy Ending, Music, Orchestra, [Podfic] Leading Tone by silencemostofall by Beria1021)

FOUND? pastel by antebunny (G, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Soulmates, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Self-Esteem Issues, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Unrequited Love, but not actually, no courtesy names)

FOUND? Mark me with your devotion by orphan_account (M, 18k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, soulmate AU with a twist, The twist is not a curse though, I'm sorry but everyone is kind of toxic in this, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, A-Yuan is adorable, First Time, Canon-typical Sex, Cultivation Partners, Fluffy wangxian, Nothing else is all that fluffy, Night-hunting together, Their studies are different that's why they keep going on missions and not staying in Gusu much)

~*~

8. Hi! There is a fic that i want to read again. The problem is, not only i don't remember much of the story, i don't know if this fic is from this fandom or detective conan. But i'm sure it's from this fandom. It's modern au where there are serial killer on the loose. WWX investigate it. He has an ability to see the corpse's past (i think he has an ability? Not sure about this part). But even with his ability, he can't solve it. There are connection between the victim. Their connection is the next victim is the one that found the previous victim (again i'm not sure if it only the one that found the body or other witnesses too). The state of their body is brutal. There are some evidence of torture. WWX investigate this until he become the target because he found the newest victim. I think he was kidnapped and when he wake up he is in a room. I don't know how to explain it but he tried to escape like the previous victims but the room or more like the place he was in is full of trap. If you ever watch danganronpa v3 side despair, the place is similar to when Nanami Chiaki died. Thats all i can remember. I trully hope its not my imagination. Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

unfortunately is not it! If i remember correctly, they all work in police force and WWX work as forensic i think?

Hi! Im from fic finder June 4th #8. I found the fic. Its Slaughter House by Duochanfan. The detail i gave was a bit off. WWX is not the victim (a shame really...) And there was no connection between the victim

NOT FOUND! I don’t know if this is it but th me description vaguely reminds me of Post Mortem by Cataclysmic_Calamity (E, 178k, WangXian, Psychological Horror, Modern, friends with benefits, they're both fucked up but they love each other so much, Slow Burn Mystery, Unnegotiated Kink, Dom/sub, Anal Sex, Consensual Non-Consent, Stalking, Drug Addiction, Serial Killers, in WWX's desire to critique the 'final girl' trope he accidentally becomes one, Angst with a Happy Ending, meta commentary on the horror and true crime genres) If nothing else it’s a good read!

FOUND! Slaughter House by Duochanfan (M, 24k, WangXian , NieLan, ChengSang, Angst, Drama, Crime Scenes, Crime Drama, Psychometric! WWX, Coroner WWX, detective LWJ, Detective JC, slight romance, Amnesia, Past Kidnapping, Murder Mystery, Reference to Autopsies, dead bodies, Single Parent!WWX, Modern AU)

~*~

9. Hi, fic finder request pls: I've been searching for this one specific wangxian fic i read an year or so ago on ao3. AU: mordern world, a/b/o, heavy angsty plot with a happy ending, i cant recall the tags n no matter how much i browse it's like the fic never existed but i kind of remember the plot: ""wei ying got $Aed (sexually assaulted) by a stalker n lan zhan blaimed him for cheating?(i don't exactly remeber) so WY disappeared later found out that he was prego ..gave birth to his baby all alone (i remember crying 10 times) later our alphaLZ regrets everything and finds him and tries to help him anyway possible and to have a fresh start :') but one day wei ying goes into heat n the stalker finds him but lz comes through and saves wei ying and they bond and become mate... happy ever after"" I've been dying to read it again :") I'd really appreciate if you're able to find it.

Thank you!!!

~*~

10. Hello!!! This is my first time asking, you guys truly do god’s work!!!!

I’m looking for a fic where jiang yanli was reincarnated as wei wuxian’s child? I think it might have been the second part to a series and it may have involved a time traveling wei wuxian, though i’m not completly sure. I think in the summary it refers to Jiang Cheng as a neibhour who’s also reincarnated.

Thanks so much in advance!!! @avocadokichi

FOUND? sounds like the third part of 结局难更改 (the ending is hard to change) Series by PorcupineGirl (G, 50k, WangXian, Modern with Magic AU, Canon Divergence, Time travel, Reincarnated LWJ & LXC, YL WWX, Reincarnation, Secret Identity, Identity reveal)

~*~

11. So there's this timetravel fic where teen wangxian meets older wangxian and teenLWJ is upset futureLZ's husband is not WWX.

Teenji dont realise HGJ's husband is wy in mxy's body and is quite rude to both hgj & his husband for betraying his pure love.

Does this ring any bell? @imstillthinkingaboutithmm

Hanguangjun's husband is not the fic i was looking for.

There's only four characters in the fic, teenwylz and olderwylz. They meet in the jingshi and teenwylz are the ones who timetravelled

NOT FOUND! Hanguang-jun's Husband by lilacevergarden (alittlemorecreative) (T, 6k, WangXian, Time Travel, Jealous WWX)

~*~

12. Hi, I'm hoping you can help me find this fic. It takes place during the Cloud Recess study arc. I remember the Jiang's arrive at Cloud Recess to discuss Wei Wuxian marrying Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian was confused as to why they thought he was in love with Lan Wangji, until Jiang Yanli and Madam Yu reminded him that he sent letters with bunnies with red and white ribbons in the margins kissing. The story had a happy ending. I'd appreciate any and all help in finding this story. @amalthia

~*~

13. For fic finder please! I am looking for a fic where Wei Wuxian was blind or maybe just color blind. This is revealed in the Burial Mounds Settlement days when a-Yuan is learning colors and Wei Wuxian teaches him the wrong color for a radish (because he can’t see/doesn’t know colors either). Wen Qing was surprised to learn that Wei Wuxian had been blind the whole time she knew him..

FOUND? close your eyes, feel my heartbeat by ThatDesiGirl (T, 11k, WangXian, blind WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, Rewriting Canon, not a fix-it but a what-if, Canon-Typical Violence, Golden Core Transfer, Romance, Pining)

~*~

14. I once read a fic about the four children showing the future to the past using an array or a talisman.

I want to know its name.

FOUND? Teen Project to Change the World by animeloverhomura (Not Rated, WIP, 841k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, Watching the Show, With a bit of the Manhua and Book thrown in, BAMF WWX, Fix-It, JGS is his own warning, Attractive WWX, Homophobia, disturbing imagery)

~*~

15. Hi there! I'm starting to pull my hair out in fear it has been deleted from ao3 but shooting my shot. Looking for a very specific amnesia LWJ fic (I cannot recall if it was one shot or multi, but it was either a long one shot or at least a few chps long?) where I think LWJ got cursed, and no one specifically tells him who WWX is - he gets jealous of himself cause it was at least revealed that WWX is married to someone in the clan? Sorry if this is not quiet enough info.

FOUND? It's not an exact match (LWJ eventually overhears that WWX is married, but no clan affiliation is mentioned) but I think #15 could be Unavoidable by diamondbruise (T, 18k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Amnesia, Jealousy, LWJ just is like that idk what to tell you, Misunderstandings, Falling In Love, Again, Happy Ending, it's that thing where they're married but lwj can't remember wwx and they meet again)

FOUND? #15 an effect (without a cause) by astrobandit deleted from ao3 afaik, i have a copy

FOUND? tonight i can write the saddest lines by sarahyyy (G, 3k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Amnesia, Falling In Love, Domestic Fluff) i haven't read this in a while, but "tonight i can write the saddest lines"might be similar?

~*~

16. Hey

I am looking for a fic. In the fic there is a book that explains lwj and juniors find it and use it interpret his expression. @mayavsworld

FOUND? Important Distinctions by nagi_blue (T, 5k, gen, Fluff and Crack, [Podfic] Important Distinctions by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona) )

~*~

17. Hello again, thank you for finding the book for me lastime. So this book is a time travel fix it where wei Ying and peacock go back into the past and run away together to try and find a way to stop the war but they don't know that their clans are watching them, poor lan wangji is so jealous that he wants to kill the peacock. I hope you can find it please! @blackrabbitusako24

FOUND? Wei Wuxian and Jin Zixuan are oblivious Besties ♥ series by Akak_ShadMe (G, 16k, JZX & WWX, JYL/JZX, WangXian, JC & NHS, NHS & WWX, JC/NHS, JC & JZX, LWJ & WN, JZX & WWX Friendship, Time Travel Fix-It, Platonic Relationships, Protective JZX, Confused JC, JZX Lives, Oblivious WWX, Awkward JZX, Angst and Humor, Platonic Cuddling, Fluff, Hurt WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Breakdown, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Feels, Protective JYL, JZX Has Friends, Cuddling & Snuggling, Crack, Good Sibling JC, Crossdressing, JC is So Done, Cinnamon Roll WN, JZN Being an Asshole) i was curious about this so i looked in ao3 and this is what i found closest to the description

~*~

18. Hello,

I'm looking for a wangxian fic, post canon,

where wei ying I'd traveling but can't fall asleep because he has nightmares. So he doesn't sleep at all until the juniors find him. He almost gets hurt and the juniors take him to lan zhan. Lan zhan helps wei ying to sleep.

I think it was only one chapter.

Thanks in advance @smarti1997

FOUND? hunters seeking solid ground by Attila (E, 23k, wangxian, Canon Compliant, discussion of canon character death, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Getting Together, Yearning, Literal Sleeping Together, Really Excessive Amounts of Hurt/Comfort)

~*~

19. Hi! looking for a fic with this description. it may have been deleted. I am not sure who is the creator. I do have an old link to it: lan wangji tries to be a hall monitor but this is not his house, now he's in detention too.

~*~

20. searching for a fic...reincarnated wwx and immortal lwj?

fic search: WWX was reincarnated and LWJ was immortal. Set in modern times. LWJ had a lot of little bits where he hadn't fully caught up with technology. I believe he had adopted LSZ as well? And may have been a music teacher?

I also believe both LWJ and LXC were immortal.

In WWX's modern backstory, he was on the outs with the Jiangs after he had accidentally injured JYL on her wedding day and she bad been in the hospital ever since, so Jin Ling was being raised by Jiang Cheng.

Wen Ning may also have been working at a coffee shop and may have been dating Mo XaunYu

I read it several years ago, possibly around 2021, so it is not at all a recent fic. @kaijuerotica

FOUND? #20 is monotone. I don't remember the author's pen name, but they took it off of AO3 and uploaded it to Google docs

There's a link in this thread

~*~

21. Hiiiii I am looking for a fic i read awhile back. Its a/b/o. I remember it was omega lwj and Alpha wwx. I just remember one scene from, where after they are mated they visit jzx and jyl. Jzx meets lwj privately to give him back his mothers hair pin. Apparently they were previously engaged but i think the lans fell from power so the jins canceled the engagement. Thaaank you 💕

FOUND? all the roads by silverclaw (E, 30k, WangXian, A/B/O, Alpha WWX, Omega LWJ, Enemies to Lovers, Jealous WWX, Protective WWX, Angst, Happy Ending, The first chapter can be read as a complete story, the following tags are for the second chapter, Top WWX, Bottom LWJ, Belly Bulge, Mentions of mpreg but no actual mpreg, Pregnancy Kink)

~*~

[barrenclan]

is it weird i’m thinking about a werewolf cormorantpaw au?? is that normal to think about werewolf cats??

(This was my Patreon illustration for October 2023! Go check it out if you feel like giving me a couple dollars)

Okay so fair warning, I have slightly hijacked this ask to talk about my MHA AU instead! I came up with it in a feverish pitch on the Discord this summer. But it's basically a REVERSE werewolf AU so it's fine!! WEHEHEHE ANYWAYS

I'm sure all of you know the basics of MHA, everyone has superpowers and there's heroes and villains and whatnot. (I have my own problems with MHA but it is such a fun world to play around with. And it has Shigaraki, which is a notable point in its favor. Regardless) The backdrop for this AU is basically the human AU for PATFW - ratty small Nebraska town, Defiance is a secret cult in the woods, etc. You can read more about it in the 'human au' tag.

I didn't include descriptions for Cormorantpaw and Pinepaw's Quirks in the drawing because I wanted to explain them a little more - they're a bit complicated. Pinepaw's Quirk, Seeing Eyes, allows him to form eyes on any part of his body, and up to around 20 at one time. However, any more than that and he starts to get overwhelmed; and unbeknownst to him, he starts getting prophetic visions. Corm's Quirk, Beastform, lets him change into the design you see in the drawing, basically a big Set animal with heightened senses and strength. But since his Quirk activated, the longer he stays in the form, the longer it is before he change back.

(Daffodilpaw, Asphodelpaw, Slugpelt, Rainhaze, Nightberry, Deepdark)

These are the rest of the main characters that I came up with Quirks for, although I do have some vague ideas for a couple other characters.

Applying Quirks is the main AU thing that changes here, and it's a big one with Corm! So in short, Thrasher (Dustin Turner) in this AU would have been a thief villain whose Quirk was having wings and talon-like hands and arms, but eventually one of his wings gets ripped off and it destroys his career. So when he starts having kids with Hush Puppy (Hope Turner), he’s super Endeavor about it and begins testing them all for training. Cormorantpaw (Cesar) becomes his favorite because of his Beastform Quirk, so he really starts hammering on Cormorant and doing his canon typical horrible abusive training.

They don’t realize at first the limit on Corm’s Quirk, since it's super short and unnoticeable at first, but eventually they realize that each times he changes it gets longer to change back. Once Hush Puppy dies, there’s nothing stopping Thrasher and he forces Corm to constantly train and do crimes for him in his Beastform. So by the time that he’s dead, Cormorant is essentially stuck in his scary beast form, and everyone assumes he was just born with a really fucked up physical Quirk. And then he comes to BarrenClan town! That's where the "plotline" of this AU would kick in.

And I did have to throw in an actual werewolf Cormorantpaw drawing. Mostly so I can justify my unhinged anime AU.

[imagineredwood]

"Enjoying the fruit?"

Pairing: Yandere!Miguel Galindo x female reader

Word count: 1.1K

Warnings: Triggering content possibly; read with caution. Dark Miguel, could be seen as kidnapping if you squint, more like false imprisonment really.

A/N: This idea came from booktok and also prompts from this prompt list

You hummed as you swallowed the sweet fruit, your finger coming up to wipe away the dribble of juice that ran down your chin. The fruit Miguel got you was always sweet. The sweetest actually. He made sure of it. All of your food was always tried and tested before it made it to your plate to ensure you only ever got the absolute best of the best. Miguel was just like that when it came to you. With most things actually. 

You always had the sweetest fruit, the freshest veggies, the purest juices, the prettiest dresses.

Miguel loved you in dresses. 

He loved the way the style of the dress could change your energy. How the soft flowly dresses made you want to sit by the window and bask in the sunlight, maybe open the sliding door to feel the wind blow the fabric against your skin. 

How tighter dresses that were so short you could barely sit in them made you sometimes blush and rub your thighs together. Sometimes they were just nightgowns, plain but soft and cozy, making you feel ethereal and docile. 

You only ever wore dresses for that reason. Because that's what Miguel liked; so that's what he bought you. That's what your wardrobe consisted of. 

Your dress today was lilac, soft, and light against your skin. It was warm and ran a little past your knees, leaving your feet and ankles exposed. You shook your foot, the chain jingling against the shackle and frowned at the noise. 

Sometimes you forgot about it. It wasn't too heavy, light enough for you to be able to move around the house, but heavy enough that you had felt like a boulder was tied to you when he had first put it on. Now with the months that had passed, you were used to the feeling, sometimes the sight being what reminded you when the hem of your dress was shorter.

That and when you forgot and tried to venture out of the room. He allowed you a good bit of freedom. He let you go wherever in the house you wanted really; you just had to be secured. Metal hooks were bolted into random hidden areas of the house. You were currently stuck to the one fastened to the underside of the granite coffee table. 

It hadn't always been like this. Once upon a time, you had been able to walk around the entire house on your own, from room to room, inside to outside, then back again. You had been his little perfect girl, always on his arm to events or dinners. It had been going so well. 

That was until you had tried to leave him. 

It had been a small fight. Simple really. 

He had canceled on you and your pre-planned dinner date plans to have a business meeting for the third time that month and you had been angry. So you grabbed your purse and keys and left. 

You hadn't actually been leaving the relationship. You were simply taking a break. A night to yourself to drive around and blow off some steam. You hadn't told him that though and when three in the morning had rolled around with no sight of you, his guards patrolling the streets for hours looking for you with no such luck, he had been sure that you were leaving him for good. Gone like a thief in the night. No call, no text, no note. Just gone. 

And boy had it made him angry. 

After all he had done for you? The gifts? The wine? The vacations? The love? The adoration? The worship?

Oh, angry was an understatement, and the disarray in the living room had been a testament to that. Flipped tables and scattered shards of glass.  

You had returned early the next morning, of course, never having planned to truly leave. All you had needed was some time to cry and cool down. You had gotten that and now had calmed down considerably, ready to return to your husband and home. 

And that was how you had ended up with the shackle. 

Placed onto your ankle while you slept.

Your departure had been the straw that broke the camel's back and Miguel had become unhinged then, and swore he would never let you leave and put yourself into harm's way again. Only he could truly love and protect you. No one else. And he had to make you see that. 

The sound of his voice from behind you broke you out of your reverie and you turned to face him.  

His eyes were warm and full of love as he looked at you, crossing the way over until he stood in front of you. He smiled down at you, his eyes trailing to your mouth where the juice from the dragon fruit had stained a bit. He reached up and rubbed at your chin lightly, eyes crinkling in the corners. 

"Enjoying the fruit?"

You nodded and offered a smile of your own, but it didn't quite reach your eyes and Miguel noticed immediately. 

"What's the matter?"

You hesitated and then shrugged as if to make it seem like it weren't a big deal. Looking down, you shook your foot, the chain jingling loudly in the silence of the room.

Miguel looked down and sighed before reaching up to cradle your cheek in his hand.

"It's for your own good, mi amor. You ran away. You could've gotten taken. Hurt. Killed. Or worse. There are plenty of men out there who are evil and would love nothing more than you pick you up and steal you away from me. I can't let that happen, you know that. I'll let you go when you understand this is where you belong." 

You nodded, easing into his touch. You'd asked before a handful of times and had gotten the same schpeal. It had been months now though. Surely you had earned his trust back by now? 

"I just hate this thing. I don't need it anymore. I'm yours, I know that. I always knew that. I just...I want to walk around free again." 

Turning back slightly to look out of the sliding doors longingly. 

"I miss swimming."

Miguel sighed at your longing look and tone before nodding gently. He softly took your chin into his grasp, turning you to face him again. His touch was gentle, but the gravel in his voice as he leaned his forehead against yours was anything but. 

"I'll take it off. But remember, I'll follow you to the ends of the earth. No matter where you run, I'll catch you."

You nodded, knowing all of his words were true. You offered him a smile and just like that, his voice was silk again as he reached into his suit jacket and retrieved the little key. Sitting down, he patted his knee and you lifted your leg, placing your bare foot down onto his slacks. He slid the key in and looked up at you before turning it. 

"This is your last chance."

General taglist

@piccasoe @ateliefloresdaprimavera @gemini0410 @woahitslucyylu @my-rosegold-soul @that-chick212 @everyhowlmarksthedead @glimmerglittergirl @elcococruz @fanaticfangurl21 @encounterthepast @iambabyharry @svintsandghosts @starrynite7114 @saturnsaree @multiyfandomgirl40 @destynelseclipsa @sadeyesgf @queenbeered @iamthegraham @emoengelfurleben @all-the-boys-to-the-yard @otomefromtheheart @rosieposie0624 @papa-geralt-of-cirilla @beeroses @weirdosandhopelessromantics @kola95 @black-repunzel99 @xonickibaby @cruzwalters @myakai13 @mrsstevenbuchananstark @lyly00 @kaystacks17 @cole-winchester  @alexxavicry @kaykaysuh @savagemickey03  @fanfic-n-tabulous   @gangstaliciou06

Mayans MC taglist

@dazzledamazon​  @abunnykisses​ @briana-mishell24​ @angelreyesgirl @wrcn9fvlcver​ @peaches009 @capt-canadian @thesandbeneathmytoes​ @krysiewithak​ @darklingveracruz @appropriate-writers-name​ @cind-in-real-life @blessedboo​ @montanaraed @kkim120 @megapeacelovemusic-blog​ @emoengelfurleben​ @blowmymbackout​ @abby-splace​ @kola95​ @black-repunzel99​ @redpoodlern​ @xonickibaby @myakai13​

@cruzwalters​ @yosoynicolexo @mrsstevenbuchananstark @danimals1096 @po3ticb3auty​ @lyly00​ @im-just-a-mississippi-girl​ @kaykaysuh @angel-121​ @fanfic-n-tabulous​ @90sisthenew80s​ @lovelytricia

Miguel taglist

@omg-mymelaninisbeautiful @maciiiofficial​ @jatriciaaa @black-repunzel99​ @ben-c-group-therapy​ @witchygagirl​ @xonickibaby @berniesilvas @myakai13​ @fanfictiontrash9​ @kaykaysuh @angel-121​ @90sisthenew80s

[strvngeweather]

WHAT YOU NEED.

a one shot.

🍷PAIRING: collegeartnerd!taehyung x black!reader. 🍷GENRE: College AU, smut 🍷WORD COUNT: 1.7k 🍷WARNINGS: Smut, consumption of alcohol, swearing, drunkness, non-consensual kiss 🍷SUMMARY: After getting your heart broken by Jin, Taehyung, the local art geek, provides a worthy distraction from the heartache. 🍷AUTHOR'S NOTE: So I had no plans on posting this because it's not ... great but, I decided to anyway because I may continue it as a series. Thanks for reading <3

You knew better than to get involved with Jin.

He had been your first love – still was. He was the bad boy who wooed you, the head cheerleader, in high school and the rest was history. Everyone had warned you about the relationship. They said that it wouldn’t last, that he would end up leaving you high and dry, and that attending the same college as him was a romantic death wish. But you knew you and Jin were different. You knew that you had a love that would stand the test of time. You knew that deep down in your heart, that Jin was the only man for you.

You had been wrong. So wrong.

Your first mistake was believing that a guy like Jin could be tied down. Your second mistake was coming to the hottest party of your college career just a month after Jin broke up with you in a Denny’s parking lot at two in the morning.

He had spent the entire party cozying up with some blonde girl with a bird tattoo on her arm. Every time he put his arm around her or kissed her or whispered something in her ear, it was like he was taking a piece of your heart and shattering it.

“Here,” your best friend, Lea, shoved a red plastic cup full of a dark brown liquid into your hands. “You need a drink.”

“I need Jin.” You realized how pathetic you sounded but you didn’t care.

“You need a drink,” Lea repeated. “And you need a fuck.”

You shook your head, taking a gingerly sip of the drink; you winced as the alcohol hit your taste buds. It was strong, burning as you swallowed. “What the hell is this?”

“Rum and coke. Mostly, rum though.” You tried to give the drink back, but she shook her head, forcing the drink back into your hands. “Drink it,” she demanded. “Screw him! Tonight is about you having fun. It is not about Jin. So, you drink that drink, you climb up on a table, you shake that beautiful ass of yours and then you fuck the brains out of someone else.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you should consider a career in public speaking?”

“All of the time.”

You obeyed your best friend, quickly chugging the drink and heading to the kitchen for a refill. She was right, you figured. You couldn’t spend the entire party sulking over a guy who no longer cared about you. This was college, for crying out loud, you deserved to have some fun. 

And fun you had. The night slipped away from you like a thief. One drink turned into two and two turned into three and soon enough, any thoughts of Jin were out of your mind. It had been the first time in the last two weeks that he wasn’t on your mind.

It was just too bad you were never on his.

You had gone to the kitchen to pick at the lukewarm finger food the host had put out. Most of it was gone but you took what you could from the vegetable platter. The kitchen wasn’t exactly packed but it was crowded enough to where he hadn’t noticed you. And because he hadn’t noticed you, he had no problems telling his friends how he really felt about you.

“So, you broke up with Y/N?” This was Hoseok. A frat boy that was obsessed with penis jokes.

“Yeah,” Jin replied. “Had to let that clingy bitch go.”

His words knocked the wind out of you like a sucker punch. You could feel the sting of tears in the back of your eyes but there was no way you were going to cry. Not here. Not now. You slipped out of the kitchen quietly, pushed your way past the other partygoers, and ignored the sound of your name being called by Lea. You made a beeline for the staircase, heading up it and into the nearest bedroom. You took a seat on the edge of the king-sized bed and wept to yourself.

“Are you okay?”

You jumped at the sound of a deep voice. You thought you had been alone but as you turned around, you saw the outline of a figure sitting on a bean bag chair. “I’m sorry. I thought I was alone.”

The figure got up and you could see who it was now: Taehyung Kim.

Taehyung was an art major that everyone seemed to love. You shared a class together and saw him on campus a few times but didn’t interact often. You two just didn’t run in the same circles. Most people had agreed he was exceptionally handsome, but you were always so preoccupied with Jin that you couldn’t fathom finding anyone else attractive. But as you looked over him now, you realized that they had been right. Taehyung was handsome. Really handsome. And that voice – good, God! Had it always been so velvety?

Taehyung came and sat next to you. “My bad, I just needed a place to sober up from the craziness downstairs.”

“You’re drunk?” He certainly didn’t look it – or sound it.

“Mhm,” he hummed, laying back on the bed, and placing his hands behind his head. You noticed the way his dark blue shirt lifted, getting a peak of his toned stomach. “Not super drunk but the buzz is buzzin’, ya know?” That earned a laugh out of you which forced a smile out of Taehyung. “Anyone ever tell you that your laugh is sexy as fuck?”

You laughed again. “You are drunk.”

“A little,” Taehyung admitted. “I’m a little bolder when I’ve got liquor in me. But I’m not lying, you’re sexy as fuck.”

“I thought you said my laugh was.”

“That too.” He got up, running a hand through his dark, wavy, locks. “I’ll leave you alone now. I don’t wanna disturb you or anything.”

‘You need a drink, and you need a fuck.’ Lea’s words rang through your head. You had your drink and Taehyung did seem like the perfect candidate to get your fuck. No, you thought. This was too crazy. You had just met him officially for the first time tonight and as far as you knew, he had some goth girlfriend who he loved dearly. You watched him go, cursing yourself for thinking of hooking up with a random person tonight. His leaving was clearly a sign from the universe that you needed to deal with your heartbreak in a more mature way. 

After about ten minutes, you got up to leave. When you opened the door, Taheyung was on the other side. “I think I forgot my phone,” he said.

“And something else.”

“Something else?” He cocked his head to the side.

You nodded and did something completely out of character. You kissed him.

And he kissed you back.

His lips worked against yours in a feverish manner, his tongue slipping inside. The only person you had ever had sex with was Jin so you were trying hard to keep up and if Taehyung could tell, he certainly didn’t let on. He left a trail of kisses from your chin to your clavicle, stopping at the top of your breasts to suck and bite at the flesh.

His hands roamed your body before settling on the curve of your ass, softly groping the fleshy area before moving down to the end of your dress and pulling it up over your hips. His lips found yours again, taking your bottom lip in between his. He placed an arm around your waist and used his other hand to gently rub your core through your panties. A moan escaped your lips as he pushed your panties to the side, his fingers sliding up and down your already-soaked slit.

“Can I taste you?” He asked between kisses.

You muttered out a yes or at least you thought you had. You were too busy trying to keep your composure as his thumb worked against your clit and his middle finger pumped in and out of you.

Taehyung guided you to the bed, laying you down and sliding your panties off. He settled in between your legs. You felt his lips against yours, his tongue lapping at you, his hands forcing your legs to open wider. You gripped the bed sheets feeling your pussy tightening; an indescribable feeling bubbled up in your lower stomach and just as you felt you were about to burst, Taehyung stopped.

“Wait, why did you –” You paused once you realized he was slipping off his jeans, followed by his briefs. He stroked his hard dick, placing the head at your entrance, and rubbed it up and down your slit.

“Tell me you want it.”

“I want it.”

“Say it louder, baby. No one can hear us.”

“I want it.”

“You want what?” Taehyung rubbed the head right on your clit.

“I want your dick,” you told him through a moan. “Please.”

“Good girl,” he replied before sliding it all the way into you.

A throaty yelp escaped you as he began to pump in and out. He pushed your legs back as far as they could go, fucking you at the perfect angle. Your body shivered in pleasure beneath him. It had been a good year and a half since you had been fucked properly. Looking back, you should have seen the signs with Jin. Despite being so young, the two of you walked around like an old married couple, and sex with him was almost like a chore and you had settled into that thought – accepting that this was what sex would be like for the rest of your life.

But Taehyung was proving you wrong.  

“Oh, fuck, oh baby,” Taehyung moaned. The room was filled with the sound of your moans and his dick slamming into your wetness. “I’m going to cum, baby.” He sped up but made sure to place his thumb on your clit, working it until he felt your juices soak his dick even more. He waited for your eyes to roll back and your moans to heighten into a whistle tone before he pulled out and came all over your thighs and stomach.

He lay on the bed next to you, the sound of heavy breathing filling the air.

“Taehyung,” you managed to get out after a moment, but he didn’t hear you. He had already fallen asleep.

You contemplated getting up, going downstairs, and slipping out of the party but you didn’t. Instead, you scooted closer to Taehyung, cuddling up next to him, and to your surprise, he woke up just long enough to wrap his around you and whispered, “Sleep well,” before both of you drifted off into slumber.

[chestcongestion]

Losing Your Grippe- Ch.4: Ha//zbin Ho/tel

This was way longer of a chapter than I was originally expecting, but I am ultimately very satisfied with how it turned out, I sincerely believe and hope it was worth the wait!

Fic is under the cut as always, I hope you guys enjoy!

Word Count: 9,275

Content Warnings: Contagion, Current events-adjacent disease testing (mentions of rapid tests and antigens and whatnot)

  On the other side of Pentagram City, Angel Dust was reclining in a chair while waiting for his turn on set. 

Valentino had come up with a brilliant idea for a porn where two security guards fuck a jewel thief as punishment for breaking into the museum they work for, but there had been a few setbacks during filming. The usual cinematographers were out sick, and the two burly actors playing the security guards would have been out, but there was no one their size on the employee roster left to replace them. 

“Hn’KtShoo! Mm… I’m sorry, I think I’m holding the wrong script… I’m ‘Guard One’ and you’re ‘Guard Two’,” Axel, a rhinoceros demon with a spike collar neck tattoo and industrial piercings in his ears, said. 

“Shiiit dude, you’re right, we’ve been memorizing the wrong scripts- HDd’TsShihh! HhdD’Tshhhuh!” Hummer, a muscular barracuda demon with translucent neck and back fins, said as he struggled to stay on his own two feet, his nose trickling down his face, in spite of constant sniffling to avoid such a fate.

“Idiots! Pull yourselves together, I don’t understand why you’re both bumbling around when we’re on a schedule… god, for nerds I recycled from Voxxy’s staff, you two are idiots,” Valentino grumbled, folding his arms in between fits of furiously slapping at his copy of the script. 

“I feel hot,” Axel complained, fanning himself off with the script. 

“I feel cold… H-HhDd’TSHhuhh! Hnk’Tschhuh!” Hummer said, followed by a heavy sniffle as he rubbed his upper arms in an attempt to warm his damp skin. 

“Waaah waah waah, excuses excuses, I’m freezing my ass off but you don’t hear me complaining about anything but your piss poor performance!” Valentino shouted into his cupped hands, turning to cough into his fuzzy sleeve after raising his voice irritated his throat, “kHHF! KHFF!” 

“Val… I-ihh…Ih’PsShuu! Ih’PSshuu!- stop shouting… my head hurts,” Velvette complained from her small platform of blankets and cushions next to Valentino’s chair. Her bedroom was being fumigated after a cleaner found two nests of hornets under the floorboards, and because she was too exhausted and feverish to be left alone, Valentino was charged with keeping an eye on her while he worked.  Velvette’s hair was pinned up in a loose ponytail of dense curls, a few flyaways and stray hairs poking out of the style and sweat trickling down from her hairline as she shivered in her fleece button-up pajamas patterned with hearts and swirls. 

“I’m so sorry, pequeñita…I-Ihh’PTsShhEW!- euch- I’ll try to keep it down,” Valentino replied, his voice slightly rough as he took a swig of his cosmopolitan, coughing harshly into his fist after the alcohol stung his raw throat, “Hurry it up and try agai-ihh… IiH’PTSshhhEW! Ih’PTsShhiiiew!” 

Axel and Hummer got back into position and attempted to run through the scene again, Axel grimacing as his joints ached intensely every time he took a step or bent down to grab something. 

“I just checked the… snff!- the perimeter a’d the… SnFFF! Snff!- the back door is ope’d… Hh’hnkk-TsSchoo!” Axel read, his nose beginning to drip until his sniffles became snorts, “SnRK-snrk!- fuck- Did you check the camberas for the back door to see if a’dyode- Snrk!-” 

Before Axel could finish his line, the first line in the entire script, he was interrupted by Valentino throwing a box of tissues at the side of his head.  

“Oww!” 

“If I wanted a bumbling idiot who couldn’t enunciate the letters ‘m’ and ‘n’, I promise there’s meatheads way hotter than you who I could’ve paid a lot less, say your lines right, idiot!” Valentino hissed, squeaking indignantly as his antennae twitched before turning to cough into his fist. 

“Mby ndose is stuffed up- SnRkk!- I ca’d barely breathe,” Axel argued, wilting a bit from exhaustion as a trickle of mess threatened to run down his face before he wiped at it with a balled-up tissue.  

“Hurry up and blow your nose or I’ll punch you in that hunk of ivory in the middle of your face and unstuff it myself!”  

“Val, please,” Velvette groaned, grabbing her pillow and using it to cover her head, whimpering in pain before letting out an aggressive, hacking cough, “Oh for fuck’s sake- KHFFF KOFF khff khhuff!- I need to- KHFFF kHFFF!- take some more cough syrup.” 

“You’ve already had a dose three times, Velvette, you need to save the last  two doses for tonight, you can’t have anymore,” Valentino said, quietly taking the bottle of raspberry-flavored cough syrup out of Velvette’s hands and stowing it away in his pocket, only for the fashion designer to start clawing at his coat in retaliation, “Ow- OW! Velvette, cut it out!” 

“You’re being a prick, give it to me,” Velvette hissed, weakly throwing a punch at Val’s leg only to wilt back into her small nest of quilts, “I… I need it.” 

Exhausted and covered in febrile sweat, Velvette shivered and wrapped herself in a throw blanket, glancing back up at Valentino with a pitiful look in her eyes.  

“You can have some more cough syrup later, I promise… KHhf-khff!” Val promised, moving a piece of Velvette’s sweat-dampened hair out of her face, even as his own eyelids began to droop. 

In the middle of watching all of the chaos during the shoot, Angel felt someone tugging on his sleeve, and turned to see Papermint- Vox’s assistant- standing sheepishly next to him while holding a small vial and a long swab. 

“What’sa matter wit’ you? Whadda you want?” Angel asked, having grown slightly irritable throughout the day due to a mixture of the commotion and a slight headache that seemed to develop out of nowhere. 

“Mr. Angel Dust, I need you to open your mouth,” Papermint muttered, shuffling in place in an attempt to shove down any visible nervousness. 

Angel scoffed, “Oh dat’s rich, for a shrimp like you it’s 50 bucks to see my tongue, 100 for the uvula, and 200 more if ya want me to do anythin’ else while my mouth’s open.” 

Papermint chuckled, adjusting his glasses with the hand that wasn’t holding the swab, “No, no- uhm… because Ms. Velvette was diagnosed with the flu yesterday, company policy dictates that all VoxTech associates undergo diagnostic testing for at least a week as a precaution,” he said, “I have to swab your tongue and the back of your throat, and you should get your results via SMS message in a few hours.” 

Angel sighed, shrugging his shoulders and turning to face Papermint properly, “Alright, if it’s policy I guess I gotta do it anyways,” he said, gently massaging his temple with one hand, grimacing at the dull throbbing pain beneath his skull. 

“Excellent!” Papermint cheered, gently holding the swab in front of Angel’s mouth, “Say ‘Aaah’.” 

“Aaaaah,” Angel droned, his voice straining a bit as Papermint swabbed along his tongue, underneath his tongue, and at the back of his throat. 

“I’m impressed, most people I’ve had to swab have gagged and choked even when I’m only swabbing further back on their tongue,” Papermint said with a warm smile, only to shudder upon realizing who he was speaking to, “Oh… ohhh.” 

“There we go, glad ya figured that one out on yer own,” Angel said with a smirk, rolling his eyes and taking a sip of water from the bottle next to his chair, “How’d I do, shrimp? My throat look nice and pretty?” 

Papermint chewed on his tongue, flushing slightly as Angel batted his eyelashes and winked playfully at him, “A-about as attractive as an individual’s internal cavities can look, Mr. Angel Dust!” he said. 

Angel giggled, “Good answer,” he said, gently cupping Papermint’s cheek in his hand and giving it a few flirtatious taps, “Alright, now get lost, I gotta get ready for my cue if they ever get past the first two lines.” 

“Y-yes, of course, thank you for your cooperation with the testing! I’ll leave a few rapid testing kits near your chair for you to take home, enjoy the rest of the shoot!” Papermint said with a wave. 

Angel waved back, turning to look back at the set and wincing once the shouting and throwing of chairs aggravated his slowly-building headache, “U ugh, I’m gonna be sittin’ in this chair forever,” he groaned, tugging at his eyelids. 

“It cannot be that difficult to get your lines right, we haven’t gotten past the first page of this goddamn script and it’s been two hours!” Valentino screamed, throwing his copy of the script at Axel as his eye twitched. 

“Ow!” Axel whined, rubbing his head after the script made impact. 

“Fuck off! Do better or I’ll… I’ll… i-Ihh… hhh! Hihh-!” Valentino began, scrubbing at the center of his face and sniffling, “Ihh-” 

“HnK’TSHOOO!” Axel sneezed. 

“i-IHH’PshHhue!” then Velvette. 

“I-IhH’PsSHHHiIEW!” then Valentino. 

A flicker of blue static appeared in the center of the studio before Vox took its place, clasping his hands together, his back panel open and an unamused look on his face. 

“Alright, I have seen enough,” Vox sighed, “Shoot’s canceled, we’re done here.” 

Vox turned to address the actors and crew that were still on set, “Filming is postponed until further notice, all of you are free to go home, building staff will hand you a week’s worth of rapid testing kits on your way out, but you are free to leave,” he said. 

A majority of the cinematographers and audio technicians put their equipment away before hurrying out of the studio, eager to enjoy their time off. 

Vox approached Valentino’s chair, gently planting a kiss on the back of his neck and pressing a cool metallic hand against his forehead, “They’re all going home, you are coming with me to get swab tested,” he said, his voice soft as he gently wiped the sweat from Valentino’s face and turned to address Velvette, “and you are going straight to bed.” 

 “I don’t want to go to bed,” Velvette pouted, leaning against Vox’s side after he pulled her to her feet, struggling to stand up straight, “M-my room’s still full of hornetss.” 

“Not your bed, Vel, our bed,” Vox chuckled, hoisting Velvette into his arms and rubbing the hot skin on her neck and shoulder with a cool hand. 

“Oh… alright then,” Velvette sighed, pressing her face against Vox’s chest as he carried her, quietly fading in and out of consciousness as Vox walked through the halls, into the elevator, and back up to their penthouse at the top of the tower. 

Upon finally registering her new surroundings, Velvette yawned and whimpered in frustration when Vox peeled her away from him and set her down in his and Valentino’s shared bed, covering her shivering form with a blanket. 

“Noooo- Khhf khff!- come back, don’t leave me in here,” Velvette whined, tugging on Vox’s sleeve and staring up at him with shimmering eyes. 

“I’ll be right back, I promise, I’m just going into the bathroom with Val, I’ll be right out,” Vox said, gently twirling a lock of Velvette’s hair around his finger before letting go and walking a few paces into the master bathroom, where Valentino was leaning against the sink and grimacing at the swab for the rapid flu test. 

“Papi, where do I stick it?” Valentino asked, pulling off his glasses and cleaning them off with a paper towel before pushing them back onto his face, “I-Ihh’PTsSChhiiew!” 

“Peel the plastic off and then swab the top and sides of your tongue and the back of your throat,” Vox explained. 

“How far back?” 

“This is a swab test, not a blowjob, right around your tonsils is fine,” 

“What the fuck are tonsils? Khhfff-KHFF!” 

“The fleshy round things in the back of your throat that swell up when you get sick,” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Vox rolled his eyes, swiping around on his screen and pulling up his ‘Internals Close Up’ app that allowed Papermint and his technicians to get a better look at his throat using two cameras attached to the roof of his mouth, “Okay, see where the uvula is?” he asked. 

Valentino squinted at the screen before nodding. 

“Look behind it, see those two things poking out behind my tongue?” 

“Mhm,” 

“Those are my tonsils, everyone has them,” 

“That’s trippy,” Valentino said, prying his mouth open wide with his fingers before swabbing his tongue and throat, moaning in satisfaction upon swabbing around his newly-discovered tonsils, “Nghgkk, Koff-khfff!” 

Vox winced, “You alright?” 

Valentino removed the swab, drooling a bit as he took his fingers out of his mouth, flashing a slightly loopy smile, “M mm that felt good, it’s like getting your back scratched but in your mouth,” he sighed, “I wanna do it again, my throat itches so bad.” 

Vox looked down at Valentino’s crotch and rolled his eyes, “Val, for the love of God, it shouldn’t be that easy to get you hard,” he said, looking away and placing the swab inside of a tube of fluid, shaking it up before smearing the wet swab onto the testing strip. 

“It’s not my fault that my dick responds whenever I feel good, Voxxy, don’t be a prude… I-Ihh’PtSchhiEW!” Valentino replied, his flirtatious tone fading after his sneeze, the feeling of the cold bathroom floor against his feet making him shiver.  

Vox squinted at the testing strip, watching as the paper turned blue before quickly turning red, “Yup, positive, you’ve got the flu… how do you feel?” he asked, watching Valentino bracing himself against the water tank of the toilet. 

“Uhmm… not too bad,” Val responded, cleaning off his glasses, with his sleeve, “Just a little tired… and cold… really cold.” 

Vox turned on the hot water faucet of the master bathroom’s tub, switching on the shower and letting it run until steam began to fill the room, “Take a hot shower, I’ll get your pajamas,” he instructed, closing the bathroom door and walking back into the master bedroom of the penthouse, rummaging through a drawer and pulling out a pair of yellow silk pajamas covered in purple hearts, the only set of pajamas Valentino owned that covered his chest, stomach, and more than 50% of his legs. 

“Did I- Khff!- get Val sick?” Velvette asked weakly, curled up in her blanket in the middle of the massive bed, “‘M sorry… I-ihh’Pshhuu!... didn’t think I was getting sick, now we’re gonna… KHff-khff-khff!- miss the summit.” 

“The summit’s being pushed back, apparently everyone and their dog is sick at the moment, so there’d be no one in attendance, we’ll all be able to go when you’re feeling better,” Vox said reassuringly, pressing a hand to Velvette’s forehead, “103.” 

“I feel absolutely horrid,” Velvette complained, tears in her eyes, “My head hurts, my back hurts, my throat hurts… I’d rather be on my fucking period.”  

Vox winced, “You must really be miserable if that’s the case… want some medicine?” he asked. 

Velvette shook her head, “Had too much already… can I have some tea? I’m thirsty,” she pleaded, her voice hoarse and cracking before she turned back towards her pillow to cough. 

Vox gently motioned toward Velvette’s large metal cup, magically filling it three quarters of the way with hot liquid, and handing it over to Velvette, who eagerly took a sip. 

“Nghh, it tastes different,” she croaked, “kHFff-Khff!” 

“It’s peppermint, figured it might help your muscles and joints,” Vox said, stroking Velvette’s back as she coughed in between sips, “There we go, does that feel better?” 

“Mhm,” Velvette replied, setting her cup down on the nightstand and curling back up into her blanket, wiping her eyes with the heel of her palm, “snff-snff! ‘S good… making my ndose run, though.” 

Vox plucked two tissues out of the box on the nightstand, gently holding them up to Velvette’s face and stroking her scalp as she emptied her sinuses into them until both tissues were thoroughly soaked, “Think you’ll be alright?” he asked. 

Velvette nodded weakly, rubbing her eyes again as she settled against her pillow with a scratchy yawn, “I think so,” she mumbled, “Do mby eyes look puffy?” 

Vox briefly glanced at Velvette’s eyelids, noticing that they seemed normal and inflammation-free, just accompanied by slight dark circles due to Velvette’s lack of restful sleep, “Not puffy at all, you just look tired… but that’s fine, you are tired,” he said with a smile. 

“So tired,” Velvette replied. 

THUMP!

Vox perked up, turning to look at the bathroom door and silently fretting about the possibility of Valentino falling, “I’ll be right back Vel,” he said hurriedly, walking into the bathroom and peeking behind the shower curtain. 

Unfortunately, Vox’s worst suspicions were confirmed, and Valentino was sprawled out on his back in the bathtub, being pelted with comfortably warm water against his unbearably hot and flushed skin. Unable to hoist himself back up, the pornographer simply moaned in pain, staring at his beloved partner with glassy eyes. 

“Val, what happened? Did you hurt yourself?” Vox asked, tugging anxiously on the wires in his neck and ignoring the sparks that flew as a result. 

“Shhh shhh, it’s fine,” Valentino said, his voice hushed and soft as he struggled to his feet with Vox’s help, his legs shaking, “Just got really dizzy all of a sudden, then out of nowhere my legs gave out… I feel a lot worse now, is that s’posed to happen?” 

“Yes, it usually gets worse on an exponential curve and hits pretty fast,” Vox sighed, pressing his palm against Val’s forehead, “102…2.4… 2.6… 2.8… 103… 3.2… 3.5.” 

“I feel hot,” Valentino complained hoarsely as he leaned against Vox for support, “Khh-KHFF! Khfff!” 

Unable to muster up the energy to hold his hand to his mouth, Valentino’s harsh and raspy cough was released into the open air, with particles quickly hitting the sensitive wires and circuit boards that were tucked away in Vox’s back panel- which was still hanging wide open haphazardly. 

Vox was so focused on looking after Valentino that he didn’t even feel the moisture brushing up against his delicate circuitry, and instead just patted Valentino on the back after he coughed, “It’s okay, once you put your pajamas on I’ll bring you a glass of water,” he said. 

“Mkay,” Val replied, sniffling as he slowly struggled to pull on his pajama pants and the accompanying shirt, sighing in relief once he finally finished, before staggering over to the bed and collapsing against the comforter, curling up next to Velvette and smiling at her, “Hola pequeñita.” 

“Hiii,” Velvette greeted weakly before turning away to scrub aggressively at her face in an attempt to fend off a pending itch, “I’m so sorry I got you sick… Iihh’Pshhuue! Ih’psshhuu!” 

“It’s fine… I don’t blame you- snff!- I’m just exhausted,” Valentino mumbled as his eyelids began to droop. 

“Me too,” Velvette agreed, rubbing her eyes. 

The two struggled to entertain one another and keep the other awake by exchanging goofy faces and long stares while Vox was out of the room getting a glass of ice cold water, but eventually their efforts failed, and Velvette fell asleep with Valentino following right behind her. The two snored peacefully outside of the occasional raspy cough, and Valentino unconsciously inched closer to Velvette as the two slept, the two patients caught in a half-hug of sorts.  

A few minutes later, Vox returned to the master bedroom with a glass of water, only to find his life partner and their closest friend fast asleep, their chests rising and falling. 

“Well, sleeping is good, hopefully they’ll feel a little better,” Vox whispered, turning out the lights in the master bedroom and carefully draping a blanket over Valentino’s unconscious form before turning on his heels and leaving to go get some work done in his office. 

On the walk to his personal workspace in the penthouse, Vox was suddenly stopped in his tracks by his frenzied assistant, who was hurriedly tapping through various screens on his touch-screen laptop, “What is it?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Sir, I just got a notification from your technician, there’s been a breech,” Papermint explained, showing Vox his laptop that was littered with warning messages and system alerts. 

Vox blinked, suddenly feeling the draft blowing onto his circuits and wires, “Ohhh, that’s just because my back panel is still open, I got sidetracked and forgot to close it,” he chuckled, closing the panel on his head and smiling triumphantly, “There- snff!- problem solved.” 

Papermint adjusted his glasses and scrolled through the message log, only to wince and yelp upon receiving more warning messages, “Uhmmm, it seems that the problem hasn’t been solved, Sir, your system is still reporting a breech, there’s foreign body activity near your processor and your air filtration system is about to malfunction…” he said, biting his lip nervously. 

“Nonsense, I probably just need my sensors adjusted, my air filtration system is fine- Hhn’Kk! Hhnkk! Kxhht!” Vox replied, only to be stunned by his sudden sneeze, a fine spray misting out of the sides of his head from his stuttering air circulation system. Vox sniffled, tapping the side of his head in an attempt to knock non-existent dust loose, “Wh-what else do the system alerts say?” he asked. 

“Organic material has leaked into your system and your software is having a pseudo-immunological response,” Papermint said, rambling as he fumbled with his notification wall and smoothed out his hair. 

“Layman’s terms please, Papermint, I don’t have time to decipher your jargon, I’m getting a headache,” Vox complained, massaging the corners of his screen as his interface glitched and his fans malfunctioned again, “Kxhht! KXHHT! Hhn’kk!” 

“You have the flu,” Papermint said nervously. 

Vox’s eye twitched, “Oh for pete’s sake… khff!- I can’t be sick, all three of us can’t be sick,” he groaned, “What am I gonna do?” 

“I received some experimental immune defense spray from Sloth Pharmaceuticals the other day, and all my swab tests have come back negative, Sir, I could help look after you if need be,” Papermint offered with an eager smile. 

Vox sighed, “Thank goodness for the clowns at Sloth Pharma… Hhn’Kk! KzZXHHT!” he said, wiping up the coolant that was beginning to leak from his air filter with a tissue, “Euch… snff!” 

“Why don’t you put on something comfortable and join Mr. Valentino and Miss Velvette in bed?” Papermint suggested. 

Vox opened his mouth to object, only to realize that he’d rather be relaxing in bed than sifting through licensing agreements, and shrugged, turning on his heels and heading back to the master bedroom, his exhaust fans stuttering and making him cough as they clashed against one another and his liquid coolant system. 

Papermint smiled contentedly, dusting off his hands and heading over to the penthouse’s small laundry room to hunt for the warm mist humidifier and a can of pressurized air to clean out Vox’s air filters. “This will be nice,” he mumbled enthusiastically to himself, beginning to sort through various devices in search of what he needed. 

About forty-five minutes later, back at the hotel, Angel sauntered in through the front doors and walked over to the parlor-turned-quarantine space, leaning over the arm of the sofa to massage the space between Husk’s ears, “I’m back from the fuck factory,” he greeted, kissing Husk’s cheek. 

“You’re back early- Khfff khff! KHFF khff!- fuck,” Husk observed, rubbing his neck and chest and grumbling in pain after his harsh, throaty cough. 

“Eh, Val’s sick so I’ve got the week off, fine by me, I was supposed to do a two-on-one in a contortion pose for ‘dis stupid flick, I’m happy I get to put it off long enough for Val to hopefully forget about it,” Angel said, sighing as he handed Husk his glass of water from the coffee table, rubbing his back as he took eager gulps before setting the empty glass down.

“Happy for you, I can’t even touch my toes, couldn’t imagine takin’ it up the ass with my legs behind my head,” Husk said, chuckling until a wave of dizziness overwhelmed him and he reclined against his pillows, covering his eyes with his palms as he tried to compose himself, “Sorry… room started spinning.” 

Angel inched closer to Husk’s level of the makeshift sofa-bed, kneeling down and resting a cautious hand on Husk’s forehead, “Marone, your brain’s gonna melt and start leakin’ outta your ears,” he said, frowning in disapproval before kissing Husk’s cheek, “How ya feelin’?” 

Husk swallowed, adjusting under his blanket and scrubbing under his nose to stave off a damp sniffle, “Like death,” he grumbled, losing the fight against a violent shiver that radiated up his spine, “I’m so cold.” 

Angel leaned over, wrapping Husk in a tight hug and nuzzling up against the crook of his neck and his shoulder, “My poor baby,” he crooned, kissing Husk’s neck, “This make ya feel any warmer?” 

Husk’s body was wracked by another violent shiver, and he continued to tremble before shaking his head as his vision began to blur and warp, forcing him to brace himself against the arm of the sofa, “Fuck… I can’t see straight… ‘m gonna lie down again,” he said, gently pushing away from Angel and curling back up into his blankets, his sharp teeth chattering, “Khhhhfff- khff khff!” 

Angel pinched the center of his face, gently massaging the skin as pain continued to build behind his eyes, “Goddamnit,” he groaned, hoisting himself to his feet and rummaging through the cleavage separating his chest fluff before pulling out his phone, scrolling through his text messages, “My head’s killin’ me.” 

“E-ehh’PssSCHEW! Eh’PsSCHHEW!” 

Angel turned, seeing Lucifer reclined on the loveseat, noisily blowing his ‘nose’ after his wet sneeze, “You too, huh?” he asked, smirking at Lucifer’s fuzzy socks peeking out from the other end of the blanket. 

“Mm- SnFF!- mmhmm,” Lucifer replied, rubbing at his eyes before tossing his soggy tissue in the trash can next to the loveseat, “I feel awful.” 

“Well, I’m gonna go talk to Vags before I hop in the shower, need anythin’?” 

Lucifer released another pitiful sniffle, “Another glass of apple juice?” he requested, taking another swipe at his tired eyes. 

“You got it,” Angel said, shooting Lucifer a thumbs up before walking out of the parlor and into the kitchen, where Vaggie was chopping vegetables and humming to herself while Niffty- visibly bored- peeled shrimp while sitting on the kitchen island, separating the viable meat and the veins and shells into two separate bowls. 

“You’re back early,” Vaggie remarked, not even looking up from the carrot she was slicing. 

“Yup, shoot got canceled before I even had to read any lines,” Angel said with a snicker, opening the fridge and grabbing a bottle of apple juice, pouring it into a glass with a couple of ice cubes. Upon filling up Lucifer’s cup, Angel gently shook the bottle of apple juice, looking skeptical, “I coulda sworn this bottle was full this mornin’.” 

“Lucifer and Charlie both basically refuse to eat, so they’ve been chugging it, I’ll have to get more bottles delivered when I order groceries tonight,” Vaggie replied, “Have you seen Alastor?” 

“Nah, ain’t seen hear or tail of ‘im,” Angel said with a shrug, “Gotta go bring King Pipsqueak his juice, I’ll be back.” 

Vaggie waved at Angel as he vanished back into the parlor, when she began to hear the hissing sound of static in her ears, turning around and focusing to try and decipher where the sound was coming from. 

“Hzzhht! Hxhht! HxXhht!” 

Vaggie narrowed her eyelids, waiting patiently and counting in her head as the noise continued, until suddenly it changed. 

“HxXHhht-Shhiew! Hnk’Kzxhht-Chew! HnXxhhT’Shhew! ‘Shhhiew! ‘SHHIEW! ‘Chhiew!”  

A-ha! 

“Alastor, get out of the pantry, I know you’re in there,” Vaggie ordered, watching with a smirk as Alastor slowly stepped out of the walk-in pantry, clutching his handkerchief to his nose and attempting to wipe at his watery eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. 

“Snff-snff! You kndow- snff!- I would have cobe out eventually- Hnx’xXHt-CHEW! HnxXHhtiew! ‘Chhiew! ‘Shhew!” Alastor said, blowing his nose and fanning off the red, irritated skin with his free hand. 

Vaggie rolled her eyes, only for her exasperation to screech to a halt upon hearing Alastor’s audible congestion and constant sneezing, “You okay?” she asked.

Alastor roughly cleared his throat, wiping desperately at his nose in an attempt to stop the near constant dripping, “Sindce I ndo longer have the privilege of bei’g discreet with mby… issues, I’b goi’g to be hondest- Snrkk!- a’d say ndo,” he said, his eyes twitching as he felt another sneeze building in his sinuses, “hHihh! H-hihh!! Hhh! HnkXxh’tSHEW! HxXhht-Shew! Hnk’Kxhht-chew!” 

“A shocking but pleasant surprise… I’m not proud of you for being vulnerable, I just like watching you suffer,” Vaggie scoffed, smirking at Alastor and feeling a swell of pride when he opened his mouth to snarl at her, only to sneeze instead. 

“Uch… I’ve been milli’g about with plague urchins for far too long, and their opportunistic pathogens have got mbe right where they want mbe,” Alastor grumbled, “Hih’KxXHHT-cHHIEW! Hih’Kxhhttiew! Hnk’KxzZHt-Shew!” 

Niffty giggled, climbing onto Alastor’s shoulder and poking his nose. 

“Hh’Xxhht-Chiew! HxXhht-shew! Hhnk’Kxhht-schiew! ‘sCHHiew! ‘Sheww!” Alastor sneezed, his eyes streaming with tears and his nose running hopelessly as he swatted Niffty away, still holding his handkerchief up to his nose. 

“I’m not going to help you if you’re gonna be coy to avoid being embarrassed, say what you mean or you can put a clothespin on your nose and help me with dinner,” Vaggie said, unamused. 

Alastor flushed, turning away and mumbling something through clenched teeth. 

“Huh?” 

Alastor mumbled a bit louder, but ultimately still unintelligible, especially with his handkerchief clasped over his nose and mouth. 

Vaggie placed both hands on her hips, “Alastor, just say it,” she ordered. 

Alastor huffed, balling his free hand into a fist before rolling his eyes and letting the confession spill out, “I thig’k I have the flu!” he exclaimed, sniffling as he swiped at his nostrils with his damp handkerchief, “Happy ndow? H-Hhnk’Kxhht-chew! Hnk’Xxht-shiew!”  

“Not really, it means I’m down a helper,” Vaggie sighed, “Go sit in the parlor on the other loveseat, I’ll be in there after I wash my hands to take your temperature.”  

Alastor gave a weak nod, wandering out of the kitchen and into the parlor, still sneezing. 

Upon Alastor leaving the kitchen, Angel returned, having showered and changed relatively quickly, “Well, looks like ya’ found mista’ happy face,” he said, pouring himself a glass of water and hurriedly chugging it before wiping off his mouth, “What’s up wit’ him?” 

“He thinks he’s getting sick,” Vaggie groaned, “It’s gonna be me, you, and Niffty looking after things, I guess.” 

“Guess so,” Angel replied, only to pause, pulling out his phone and scrolling through his messages, “Damnit, what’s takin’ them so long? At this point I oughtta just take one a’ the rapid tests they gave me.” 

“What are you talking about?” Vaggie asked, washing her hands in the sink before wiping them off with a dish towel. 

“Bunch of people at my job are gettin’ sick, so they tested all of us, and we’re supposed ta’ get the results soon, but they sent us home with a bag of ‘rapid tests’ that take like a minute,” Angel explained, gagging quietly, “I didn’t mind swabbin’ the back of my throat, but that stupid stick tastes awful runnin’ across your tongue.” 

Vaggie’s face brightened, and she grabbed Angel’s wrist, “Well, buck up and get ready for the taste, because the four of us are gonna take one,” she said, leading Angel out of the kitchen by tugging on his arm, “C’mon Niffty.” 

Niffty scrambled to get down from the kitchen island, skipping after Vaggie and Angel only to run back into the kitchen, hurriedly clean the shellfish scent off of her hands, and sprint to return to the parlor, eagerly sitting on the floor between Alastor’s legs. 

Angel pulled out four rapid tests from the plastic bag of them he’d been given upon leaving the broadcast tower, handing one to Vaggie, one to Alastor, and one to Niffty before keeping the last one in his hands. 

Husk and Charlie were both fast asleep, curled up against the base of the sofa from their respective levels of the makeshift trundle bed. Lucifer, on the other hand, was somewhat awake, and watched the four “healthy” hotel residents unwrap their tests in between small sips of his apple juice. 

Angel opened his mouth, scrubbing the surface of his tongue, the underside of his tongue, and the back of his throat, swirling the swab in a circle on the surface of his tonsils, nearly drooling with satisfaction as the sensation of the swab on his throat appeared to be scratching an itch he wasn’t even aware of, “Ngghhkkkk… nghh-ghhkk,” he droned, pulling the swab out of his mouth and struggling to keep a stray hand from gravitating toward his groin, “Hrghht-hrmm! That felt good…I kinda wanna do it again.” 

Alastor rolled his eyes, “Shambeless pervert- snff!- Hnk’Kxhht-Sshiew! ‘Shhiew! ‘Shhhew!” he grumbled, reluctantly putting his swab in his mouth and gagging with disgust upon swiping around his tongue and gagging a bit harder while reaching the back of his throat, quickly pulling the swab out once he’d been scrubbing for the instructed amount of time, “Euch… that was disgustii’g- Iihh…. HnKxXHt-SHEW!”  

Niffty quietly scrubbed her tongue and throat with her mouth closed around the swab, humming ‘Lollipop’ to herself as she worked the swab from side to side and up and down, pulling the swab out of her mouth and giggling after it made the same ‘Pop!’ sound that can be heard after the first segment of the song, “All done!” she cheered. 

Vaggie grumbled, nearly gagging prematurely upon watching the others complete their swabs, “Si vomito, mataré a alguien,” she grumbled, popping her swab into her mouth and hurriedly scrubbing the surface and underside of her tongue before gently inching closer to the back of her throat, sighing with relief when the sensation wasn’t nearly as gag-inducing as she expected, pulling the swab out with a triumphant smile. 

“Okay, now ya hafta put the swab in this tube and shake it around… and then rub the wet swab on the piece ‘a paper in the testing kit,” Angel explained, squinting through his bothersome headache to read the tiny print on the back of the testing kit’s packaging. 

All four participants shook their tubes of testing solution before smearing the sample across the rapid testing paper. 

Vaggie watched as the wet portion of her paper turned blue, “Negative,” she said with a smile, “Phew.” 

“Negative!” Niffty cheered, waving around her blue testing paper. 

Angel blinked, watching as his testing paper turned blue for a moment, only to quickly turn red, “Positive,” he sighed, massaging his temples with one pair of hands, “Explains why my head’s fuckin’ killin’ me.”  

Alastor waited patiently as his testing paper turned blue, and remained blue for a brief period, only to change colors, “It’s…greend- HnkXxhht’SHEW!” he said, cleaning off his monocle with his sleeve before staring at the testing paper, confused. 

Angel looked at the back of the testing kit, “Green is negative for… antigens… but positive for… antibodies, the fuck does that mean? Christ on a bike I barely passed goin’ to Catholic school in the 20s, I can’t read ‘dis shit,” he grumbled, pulling out his phone and plugging the words into a search engine, “Oh for Christ’s sake- I got nothin’ on ‘antibodies’,  but it says that testin’ negative for antigens means ya ain’t sick… I gotta keep scrollin’.” 

Alastor looked puzzled, staring back at his confusing testing paper before sniffling hopelessly into his handkerchief, “The accursed thi’g has to be faulty- HnkXxhht-sCHHIEW! Hnk’Kxhht-shew!- if I was fide I wouldn’t be put through the id- Snrkk!- indig’ndity of all this sdeezi’g… HnK’Xhht-SHIEW!” he said. 

Vaggie walked over to the loveseat where Alastor was sitting, pressing a hand to his forehead and waiting for a moment with narrowed eyelids before pulling it away, “I think it’s right… you feel fine to me, nice and cool,” she said with a smirk, “You’re just being a hypochondriac.” 

“Stop usin’ them big words, I don’t wanna have to look up anythin’ else, this is makin’ my brain hurt!” Angel complained, still scrolling through his phone.  

“You’ve been so worried about getting sick that your brain is doing everything it can to convince you that you’re sick,” Vaggie explained, poking Alastor’s red and irritated nose. 

“HnK’Tshhew! Hnk’Kxzxht-chiew! Hnk’KXxshIEW!” Alastor sneezed, wiping his nose with his handkerchief and letting loose a watery sniffle, “Euch…the’d why does mby ndose still feel so Iiihh…i-ihh…. Itchy?” 

Vaggie stared at Alastor’s runny nose and his watery eyes with puffy, visibly irritated eyelids, before directing her attention to Alastor’s handkerchief, noticing that his breath began to hitch and his eyes watered more when he held it closer to his twitchy nostrils, “Hand me your handkerchief,” she instructed. 

“What? Ndo- snff!” Alastor argued. 

Vaggie rolled her eyes, yanking the cloth out of Alastor’s hands, and watching as the Radio Demon’s twitchy, sensitive nose seemingly calmed down, his watery eyes drying up, and his breathing returning to normal after a few damp sniffles. 

Alastor sighed in relief, wiping the moisture out of his eyes and fanning at his friction-reddened nose, “Oh my goodness,” he said in between panting breaths, leaning his head back against the back of the loveseat. 

“That feel better?” Vaggie asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Very much, yes,” Alastor said with a relieved smile. 

“So it was just your allergies, mystery solved,” Vaggie said, folding her arms, “Wonder what was on this thing that was making you sneeze so much.” 

Vaggie held up the handkerchief so that it was closer to her face, sniffing the air around it and sticking out her tongue in disgust when a heavy scent wafted into her nostrils, “Euchh, this thing reeks of cologne, no wonder you were sneezing so much,” she said, tossing the practically wet handkerchief into a garbage can in the far corner of the room. 

Alastor’s eyes widened, and he turned to stare at Lucifer with an unamused glare lingering in his eyes in spite of his tight smile, “It appears that your sweat practically burned the stench of your repulsive cologne into my clothes after I carried you,” he said through clenched teeth, “I was able to wash the stench out of my coat, but I didn’t think to wash my handkerchief that had been tucked into one of the pockets.” 

Lucifer scoffed, “My cologne smells fine, not my fault you’re allergic to it,” he said, blowing a drowsy raspberry in Alastor’s direction. 

“I wouldn’t put in so much effort to aggravate me when you’re so… fragile,” Alastor said, practically snarling as he flicked the center of Lucifer’s forehead. 

“Oh please- Khff khff!- I can still unravel your skin at the seams,” 

“I’d like to see you try, ‘Your Majesty’, your tiny little skull would be meeting the blunt metal edge of my microphone,” 

“D’aww, I appreciate the flirting, but you’re not my type… I could still give you a big, wet, germy kiss for your trouble if you want,” 

Alastor hit Lucifer over the head with his microphone, clutching the fabric on the chest of his shirt and shuddering with disgust, “You go too far,” he chided, avoiding Lucifer’s gaze by staring at the carpet. 

“Not far enough, get back over here so I can stick my tongue down your throat- Khff- KHFF!,” Lucifer teased, sticking out his tongue and tugging on Alastor’s long sleeve, giggling deliriously. 

“Okay, that’s enough,” Vaggie said, pulling Alastor away from Lucifer and pushing Lucifer back into a reclined position in his makeshift bed, “Alastor, leave Lucifer alone- Lucifer, keep your tongue to yourself.” 

Lucifer folded his arms, pouting, “Fiine,” he said, plucking two tissues out of the box in his lap and blowing his ‘nose’, tossing the soiled tissues into the trash. 

“Overpowered garden gnome,” Alastor grumbled. 

“Pretentious loser,” Lucifer spat back. 

“Self-pitying recluse,” 

“Bitter self-absorbed misanthrope,” 

“A bit hypocritical coming from you, you insecure man baby,” 

“At least I can admit when I’m a hypocrite, you delusional megalomaniac,” 

Angel’s head swam as his brain tried to piece through the article on antibodies he was reading, the onslaught of syllables the two men were flinging at one another, and his own throbbing headache and sore throat, “I have no idea what the hell’s goin’ on,” he whined, clutching his sore abdominal muscles as sweat trickled down his face, soaking into his thin layer of fur. 

“Lay-about!” 

“Piss worm!”  

“Callate!” Vaggie shouted, pulling on the back of Alastor’s shirt and swatting at him before sticking a thermometer from her pocket into Lucifer’s mouth to quiet him down, “Both of you cut it out.” 

Alastor and Lucifer’s shouting roused Charlie from her slumber, the princess rolling over and sitting up with a scratchy yawn as she rubbed her eyes, looking around the room, “Mmm… wha’s happening?” she mumbled, trying to shake off the grogginess that weighed down every word that left her mouth. 

“Nice going, jackasses,” Vaggie huffed, turning to stroke Charlie’s feverish cheek with her left hand before kissing her forehead, “Nothing babe, don’t worry about it.” 

“Oh… okay, okay, I trust you- Snff snff!- I need a tissue,” Charlie rambled, blowing her nose into a folded-over tissue before settling back into her blankets with a shiver, “What time is it?” 

“Honestly I don’t even know, Angel, what time is it?” Vaggie asked, looking over her shoulder towards the spider. 

Angel groaned, massaging the center of his face before glancing at the time on his phone in the corner of the screen, squinting at the tiny print making his headache even worse, “6:15,” he said, going back to reading. 

“There you go… it’s earlier than I thought it was,” Vaggie said with a slight smile, running her fingers through Charlie’s hair, “You okay?” 

“Not really, but I’ll manage… H-kHHF! KHFFF!...(gasp)- KHFF KhFF KKHhFF!,” Charlie replied, rubbing her chest after her harsh cough and looking around the parlor, focusing on the swaying image of Lucifer, shooting him a drowsy wave, “I didn’t know my dad made it back home… Hi, Dad!”  

Lucifer waved back at Charlie, humming inquisitively at Vaggie and gesturing to the thermometer under his tongue- which had started to beep. 

Vaggie rolled her eyes, pulling the thermometer out of Lucifer’s mouth and glancing at the screen, “103.4,” she said, wiping off the thermometer with an alcohol wipe before stowing it back in her pocket. 

“Aw, you too, Dad?” Charlie asked, leaning over the arm of the sofa and resting her chin in one hand, “Sorry I got you sick… Eeihh’KsSchiew! Eh’KsSchiew!” 

“No worries, Charlie, I picked this up the old fashioned way…snff! Last time I take the bus anywhere,” Lucifer groaned, swiping at his ‘nose’ with the back of his hand.

“Wait, if both of us are sick, that means neither of us are gonna be able to go to the summit!” Charlie exclaimed, tears welling up in her eyes, only for Alastor to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. 

“No need to worry, the overlord summit has been postponed on account of the majority of its attendees being… indisposed at present,” Alastor said with a calm smile. 

“Wha?” Charlie asked, looking up at Alastor with a confused look on her face. 

“If I hear anotha’ word wit’ more than two syllables that nobody knows the meanin’ of, I’m gonna pass out,” Angel snapped, turning away from his phone to cough, tucking his head into his elbow and swallowing against the ache in his throat before going back to reading. 

“Everyone’s sick, so they’re putting the summit off until later, Babe,” Vaggie explained. 

“Oh no, that’s terrible- Eeh’Ktschhew!- sorry… wonder how everyone managed to come down with it so fast… so close together,” Charlie pondered, pulling her blankets up to her chest. 

“Ahhha!- Koff KHFF KHFF! KHHHFFF!- fuck!” Angel shouted, tossing his phone aside and massaging his face, “Finally figured out what the fuck the antibody shit means!” 

Vaggie gestured for Angel to continue. 

“It said on this stupid website… ‘A green test result means that there is no active infection, but that the body has built up a resistance to the pathogen after a past infection, typically a recent one’,” Angel said, leaning back against the loveseat and draping an arm over his eyes. 

“So that means that you aren’t sick now, and you’re immune because you were sick recently,” Vaggie said, turning to look at Alastor with an unamused glare, “Before anyone else.” 

Alastor held up both hands defensively, “I have no recollection of being anywhere near this ill, that’s absurd,” he argued. 

“Not even a week ago, when I heard you down here trying your damnedest not to cough while you made your coffee before you disappeared for four days?” Vaggie asked, tilting her head to the side as she awaited Alastor’s response. 

“I-I felt perfectly fine, I only had a bit of a cold, and I do not appreciate this accusatory tone,” Alastor replied with a huff, polishing his monocle with a microfiber cloth he pulled from his pocket. 

“Alright, what did you do that day after you left, if you don’t mind me asking?” Vaggie asked, leaning over the back of the sofa and stroking Charlie’s hair as she waited. 

“I… I had to go to a sovereign overlords meeting… and then I had to visit the seamstress where Rosie had her dress made in order to pick up the extra fabric for my ensemble, a charming young succubus, I wish I could remember her name,” Alastor began to ramble, nervous sweat coating his forehead as he fiddled with the base of his microphone and averted his eyes. 

Charlie sniffled, narrowing her eyelids, “Did she have purple hair and a star shaped tail?” she asked. 

“As a matter of fact, yes, she did, how did you know?” Alastor replied with a chuckle, only for Charlie to snarl angrily, balling her fists before throwing her pillow at his head, “Ouch! My dear, there’s no need for senseless aggression- Ouch! Hey!” 

Charlie hissed and threw another pillow, “You,” she growled, “You started all of this because you’re too stubborn and stupid to admit- let alone tell someone- when you’re sick- Snff snff!- so you just wandered around town getting germs everywhere. All. Day!” 

“I- I reject the notion, you have no proof!” Alastor exclaimed, feigning a hurt expression as he pressed a hand to his chest. 

“Bullshit, breathin’ is enough to spread it around, not even mentionin’ the kinda trail you leave behind when you’re constantly blowin’ your nose wit’out washin’ ya’ hands… you filthy fuckin’ germ-spreader,” Angel said, folding his arms and furrowing his eyebrows in anger.

“Yeah! Exactly- Eeihh’KsSCHIEW!- Oh shoot- KhHhFF khff khff! KOFF- Khhff- khHff!,” Charlie said, rubbing her chest in an attempt to calm her ragged breathing after her coughing fit. 

“This kind of aggression and hostility is quite unlike you, Charlie, I must say I’m surprised,” Alastor remarked, quickly ducking as Charlie threw another pillow at him, “The projectiles are also unlike you.” 

“Oh ffuck you!” Charlie hissed, her horns peeking out through her crown of blonde locks, the same angry red as her nose, “I’m tired, I’m cold, my whole body hurts and I can barely get up to go pee, and you act so grossed out and high and mighty about ‘germs’, I’m allowed to be mad when they’re your germs to begin with! I’m allowed to be angry sometimes! KHFFF-KHff-Khfff!” 

Vaggie gently tapped Charlie’s back, carefully making sure not to rouse Husk from his sleep as she leaned over the arm of the sofa to embrace her girlfriend, “Of course you are, Babe, but try not to get too worked up,” she whispered, kissing Charlie’s feverish neck and smiling when Charlie melted into her touch, “There we go, it’s okay.” 

“Nice going, Antlers,” Lucifer scoffed, rolling his eyes. 

“Oh hush, you have nothing to do with any of this,” Alastor said, waving Lucifer off nonchalantly. 

“Hey, listen Tough Guy-” Lucifer began, sitting up and beginning to gesticulate, only for Vaggie to pull away from Charlie and walk over to Lucifer, pressing her cool hand against his  burning forehead and silencing him as he sighed in relief, “Mmm… that feels n ice.” 

“I bet it does, and if you promise to stop picking fights with Alastor I’ll go get a cool washcloth for you,” Vaggie said with a knowing smile, noticing the eager and desperate look in Lucifer’s eyes, “Promise?” 

Lucifer nodded weakly, “Mkay, I promise,” he said, lying back down and staring at his socks, chuckling to himself as his feverish mind wandered, turning the solid blue fabric into a makeshift sky, clouds drifting across the fabric. 

Vaggie sighed, turning to Alastor and gesturing at him, “Well?” she asked, unimpressed and exasperated with the nonsensical back-and-forth. 

“I… I apologize for unknowingly causing all of this… and for being a bit-” Alastor nearly gagged on the platitudes forming on his tongue, “- impersonal and detached in my methods of engaging with the afflicted, particularly in this instance since your ailments were my fault to begin with, and… I will find some way to make it up to you,” he said with a pained smile, one eye twitching behind his monocle. 

“Awww- Snff!- that was beautiful,” Charlie said, her voice cracking as she threatened to cry, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve before blowing her nose, “I forgive you… I wasn’t even that mad, I just really don’t feel well and it’s making me cranky.” 

“Perfectly understandable, my dear,” Alastor replied, fighting back a shudder and reaching out to stroke Charlie’s scalp, “Nowhere to go from here but up.” 

Charlie nodded, coughing harshly into her elbow before weakly gesturing to her three pillows that were scattered at Alastor’s feet, “Can I have my pillows back?” she asked, pitifully attempting to lean over and reach out to grab them. 

“Of course,” Alastor said, tucking two of Charlie’s pillows behind her to support her back and neck, and placing the third pillow near Charlie’s feet, “Better?” 

“Mmhm… Ehh…E-ehh… EhH’KSschew! Eihh’KtsSChiew! Eehh’KSschheww!” Charlie hummed in reply, emptying her sinuses with a desperate blow before tossing the damp tissue in the garbage, “O h hhh… my sinuses hurt.”  

“I’ll get you some decongestant after dinner,” Vaggie promised, massaging Charlie’s sinuses with her fingertips. As she massaged Charlie, Vaggie looked over and noticed Angel curled up in a half-formed fetal position, shivering, “Are you gonna be okay?” she asked. 

Angel made an indecisive gesture with his hand, wiping sweat from his brow and grimacing as an ache radiated through the muscles in his abdomen, legs, and back, “I ain’t feelin’ too hot… Hh-KHFF! KHFF!- ‘s like I got hit by a truck,” he mumbled, voice slightly hoarse from his sore throat as a hand reached up and rubbed the base of his neck.

Vaggie thumbed Charlie’s cheek for a moment, before walking over to the loveseat opposite Lucifer’s, maneuvering Angel into an upright position and pressing a palm to his forehead, “You feel plenty hot to me,” she chuckled, pulling the thermometer out of her pocket. 

“Ya know what I meant,” Angel huffed, rolling his eyes. 

“Mhm, I did, open your mouth,” Vaggie instructed, sliding the thermometer under Angel’s tongue and waiting until it beeped before pulling it out, “102…2.4…2.7.” 

“Shit,” Angel said with a groan, lying back down only for Vaggie to tug him back upright. 

“Ah-ah-ah! Sit up, I’ll be right back with your pajamas, you can lie down after you’ve changed,” Vaggie said, “Where do you keep them?” 

“They’re lyin’ across my bed- Snff! Snff!,” Angel replied, his eyelids threatening to droop as a deep flush covered his cheeks, burning bright enough that it was visible through his fur. 

“Alright, I’ll be right back, Niffty make sure he doesn’t lie down until I come back,” Vaggie said, turning on her heels and disappearing up the stairs. 

Niffty giggled, standing on the back of the loveseat and gently combing Angel’s frayed hair with her tiny fingers, “You’re so sweaty I can use it like moisturizer,” she said. 

“Khhff-khff! Quit rubbin’ sweat into my hair, Niff… Snff!” Angel said, weakly swatting at Niffty only to relent, enjoying the feeling of her tiny hands massaging his scalp, the sensation practically relieved his throbbing headache, “Mmm…” 

Vaggie returned to the parlor with a silk pajama top adorned with pink lace, a pair of fleece pajama pants with button-up pockets, and a pair of large pink socks, tossing them in Angel’s lap and dusting off her hands, “You need help getting to the bathroom to go change?” she asked. 

Angel shook his head, “I got it, I got it,” he insisted, putting on the pajamas and socks, before squirming a bit and adjusting two of his arms, suddenly pulling out his shirt, jacket, pants, and boots from the waistband of his pajama pants, “All’a them years doin’ quick changes finally paid off… hHh! Hahh! Hah’TsShhew! Hah’TsSsHEW!” 

Vaggie folded Angel’s street clothes and placed them in a laundry basket behind the sofa before handing Angel a pink fleece blanket adorned with zebra stripes and a box of tissues. 

“Thanks, Vags… Snfff! Euch,” Angel said, plucking a tissue out of the box and gently pressing it to his face before emptying his sinuses in a heavy blow that sounded closer to a honk at the tail end. 

“Okay, now that everything is all settled, you four are going to stay here and rest,” Vaggie said before turning to Alastor and Niffty, “and you two are going to help me finish dinner.” 

“Of course, lead the way,” Alastor said calmly, resting his microphone in his palm and shifting his weight onto his other foot before following Vaggie into the kitchen. 

“Okey-dokey!” Niffty cheered, skipping behind Alastor and Vaggie, only to scurry back into the parlor and land an open-hand slap on Husk’s chest, rousing him from his deep slumber, before scrambling back into the kitchen, giggling uncontrollably. 

Husk snorted, rapidly shaking his head and rubbing his eyes as his ears twitched, “Hhm? KHFF-KHFFF! Fuck… my chest hurts,” Husk grumbled sleepily, opening his eyelids after a moment of struggle and looking around the room, “Mmm… what time ‘s it? Did I miss somethin’?” 

“Nothin’ important,” Angel yawned, pulling his blanket up to his chest and blowing his ‘nose’, “H-hahh…Hah’TsShew!” 

“Bless you,” Husk said, still a bit drowsy. About seven seconds passed, before Husk’s eyes widened and he whipped his head around in Angel’s direction, “Wait a minute, when the hell did you get here?!” 

Angel snickered, weakly kicking his feet as his snickers devolved into full blown laughter, laughter so intense that Angel began rolling gently from side to side, only to roll off of the loveseat and collapse onto the carpet. 

Husk rolled his eyes, “Real funny, huh Legs?” he asked, glancing over at Angel again with an unamused scoff. 

“Damn right it was funny, it was worth it,” Angel said in between guffaws and coughs, only to groan in pain as the sore muscles in his back throbbed after the initial impact, “Not completely worth it… but it was still funny.” 

Husk sighed, using the television remote cradled in his lap to turn on the TV, before rolling back over to face the base of the sofa, and falling back asleep, his soft but deep snoring filling the room as his ears and tail twitched, the rest of his body completely still and quiet. 

“HrRR’SshOO! HrR’Schuhh!” 

Well, mostly quiet.  

[silvervioletvalentine]

🦋A love so easy🦋

Pairing : Fernando Alonso X Cherrie!

Word count: 6k

Summary: in which she’s the female version of him. A complete menace . Or- moments that brought them love.

A/N - had to write a lil something for my fav silly little man. Don’t know if I like it seeing as I’ve never written for him before butttt, whatever! There is a age gap between Cherrie and him so… if you don’t like it then simply don’t read! Lemme know what u think xoxo

Whenever somebody would ask Fernando if he liked his new teammate, he would usually, typically answer with a sly smile and a casual 'she's okay I suppose' to them.

Because he didn't know how the hell he was supposed to explain how quickly fond he had become of the annoying little woman that followed him around, motormouth running a hundred miles per second as she chatted shit to him , even when she knew that he wasn't listening , simply refusing to leave him alone until he gave in and gave her the attention that she wanted. No, needed.

Because She was a brat. But a funny one. And very pretty too. At first Fernando had told himself that he was going to keep his distance to his new teammate , that he was going to just focus on climbing up the championship rankings and  keep to himself as he did so. Not wanting any distractions in his way.

But then Cherrie happened and she left him with absolutely no choice in the matter. It greatly amused everyone else around them to see the older man practically running away from her down the paddock as she casually jogged bedside him, a wide smirk on her pretty face as she tortured him with long tales of how her weekend had been.

Jokingly trying to trip him up with her feet and prodding him in the back with her fingertips until he finally snapped. Smugly giggling away when he would scold her and tell her to leave him the hell alone , that she needed to at least let him have a giant cup of coffee before he was forced to deal with her.

So yes. Whenever somebody asked him how he felt about his new, younger and ridiculously beautiful teammate .. his answer now was always the same.

"And how are you finding working with Cherrie? Any difficulties? Have you two bonded well? She seems to think the world of you!" Jack, the interviewer questioned him with a knowing smirk on his face.

It being no secret around there over how fondly exasperated she made Alonso. It was more than amusing for them to all witness him looking to the sky pleadingly and asking the world what he had done to deserve this kind of torture, while Cherrie just was casually leaning against his shoulder , talking shit again in hopes of getting a reaction out of him.

Fernando just sighed, fighting back a grin of his own as he answered him , squinting from the sun that was beaming down in his eyes. Briefly Wishing that he had his sunglasses again. Only, they had been stolen.

And you could guess just who the little thief was. He had seen his smug teammate bouncing around the paddock with them sat proudly over her eyes, giving him a teasing little wiggle of her fingers when she passed him. Getting a middle finger in response from Fernando who was unable to hold back his own chuckle at her behaviour.

"She's very annoying. A complete attention whore." He answered him matter of factly, grinning to himself as he heard the few people that were around him laughing . Knowing that he wasn't exaggerating at all either.

"You know , I've been suggesting at the meetings that they do a regular drug test on her. Because she's so loud and hyper, like all the time!" He grinned in amusement , shaking his head at the thought of Cherrie and her big mouth.

In fact, Fernando was certain that she couldn't go more than an hour without causing trouble and deliberately going out of her way to bother someone.

He had seen her running around and testing all the other drivers patience as well, with her insulting jokes and lack of filter. He had, many a times, had to drag her away from one of them before she caused a fight just for her own entertainment.

She was a complete menace and she was turning his hair greyer and greyer by the day. But only to himself would he admit that he looked forward to seeing her chaotically bounce around the track each day, to hear her loud laugh and see her pretty smile.

She always threw her head back when she laughed and her knees buckled whenever she found something truly funny . Clinging onto whatever or whoever was closest to her so that she didn't collapse on the floor in a heap of giggles.

Her laugh and her bright smile were just so infectious that Fernando struggled not to laugh alongside her each time , no matter how stupid the joke had been. He always shook his head at her fondly because how on earth was he supposed to keep his distance and remain cordial with a woman that was so overly friendly, so affectionate and warm like she was?

He just couldn't do it. Instead he simply made himself a extra flask of coffee and wondered about how she was going to annoy him that day.

Would she try to trip him up again in front of everyone? Would she steal his lunch and leave a paper with 'thanks for dinner!' Written on it again?

Would she be taking his Ferrari for a spin again? Failing to let him know that she had slipped his car keys out of his pocket while hugging him, distracting him with her mischievous grin. Only finding out about her thievery later that day when multiple photos of her out and about in his car hit the internet. He had found a Polaroid picture of her sticking her tongue out at him blue tacked to his dashboard later that night and It was still there to this day.

She made his life even more exciting than it already was. He could never bored whenever she was around, she always kept him on his toes and at the edge of his seat. Running around after her like she was a naughty child wreaking havoc and not a nearly twenty five year old woman instead.

And if he asked himself when he was alone how he felt about his new teammate . He would answer to himself honestly . Without the fed up facade he usually wore whenever she was around.

He knew that he loved his new teammate . As simple as that. She was funny. She was snarky , sarcastic , with the attitude of a teenager who knew no boundaries. She loved causing drama and pissing people off just for the fun of it. She was like the female version of himself and Fernando loved it.

They worked great together too. And he loved the way that she would drag him over to her car with her after a difficult race , so she could show him where she thought she was having problems and what was frustrating her about it . Trusting him to give her good advice and help her out with her problems.

The rest of the world were more than shocked to see how unselfish he was when it came to her. The way he would instruct his team over the radio with ways to help his teammate out during the race. Still thinking about her even when he was going at ridiculous speeds around the track.

It was the way that he now always brought two drinks to work with him. A coffee for himself and either a large strawberry milkshake or a hot chocolate with marshmallows for Cherrie, depending on what the weather was like. She would always thank him with a long hug to his side and a beaming smile being gifted to him . And That was more than enough to make the extra thirty minute drive to her favourite cafe for the hot chocolate worth it for him.

It was the way that he always waited around after a race for her, just standing back and watching her do her interviews confidently , in her zone . Keeping an eye on her to make sure that nobody stepped out of line and upset her. He would kick their teeth in if they did. But she didn't need to know the lengths that he would go through just to make sure that she was happy all the time.

It was the way that he drove her home after each race , despite knowing that she had a car of her own. But she had complained once that she didn't like driving outside of races, that she was too tired and never wanted to hold a wheel again. So now, without them even discussing it, Fernando simply waited at his car for her so he could take her home. Becoming his passenger princess and forcing him to listen to her chaotic playlists and true crime podcasts while she fell asleep half way through one. Leaving him to smile fondly to himself and double check her seatbelt to make sure that she was safe. Carrying her sleeping self into her apartment and tucking her in, not bothering to leave a note. Instead he simply left a  small kiss on her forehead before making the long drive back home, content with knowing that she was safely tucked away in bed.

It was the way that he now looked for her in every crowded room. Simply leaving if she wasn't there because to him, he would rather be at home alone than in a room that she wasn't in. And he didn't go the the celebrations party's if she wasn't attending them either.

They celebrated wins together or not at all. They were teammates on the track and off it too.

It was the way that Fernando could feel his skin itch whenever he watched some of the younger drivers giggle at her jokes and try to flirt with her right in front of him. And if he 'Accidentally' ended up tripping one of them up while walking by... well, that was nobody's business but his own now was it?

But it went both ways too. Fernando wasn't the only one showing these little things that had greater impact on his heart than he ever thought could be possible.

Cherrie did the same for him too.

It was the way that she always wore his merch, even when they weren't at the track. He would see a paparazzi picture of her out with some of her friends , wearing a pretty dress with his numbered cap ontop of her head. Despite it not matching her outfit at all. She always wore some piece of him on her. No matter where she was or who she was with.

It was the way that she would buy him his favourite whiskey from every country they went to. Dropping it off at his hotel room with a proud smile on her beautiful face when she held the giant bottle up for him to see. Then they would always end up inside his room, leaning against each-other sides in his bed as they watched a film together , Fernando trying to get her to like whiskey and Cherrie dramatically gagging each time he took a sip until he gave in and had room service bring up a pink cocktail for her. Enjoying the pleased grin that would light up her face when he handed it to her with a exasperated rolling of his eyes.

It was the way she trusted him with her life. The way she confided in him about her family, about her relationships and friends. The way that she always called him up first for advice. The way she trusted him to silently look after her and always have her back. The way that she never once left him out on a joke, or a conversation, always managing to make sure that he was included even when he honestly had no idea what was going on. He simply enjoyed listening to her chatter away to her friends, mesmerised by the way she could make anyone laugh , she lit up every single room that she was in. And he loved it.

So , yes. If asked about his new teammate. Fernando could only admit to himself that he was well and truly fucked!

Because keeping his distance from the loudmouth hadn't worked out in his favour at all. Instead he had fell in love with her instead . Because apparently that was the kind of idiot that he was now.

"You know..she is so annoying .." he continued to tell the interview with a loud laugh as he leant back against the railing behind him. On a small platform stage above the track now that the race was over.

"-she came knocking at my hotel room the other night at half past one in the morning . Demanding me to play fifa with her." He told them with a rolling of his eyes, still chuckling as he thought about the way she had turned up at his door in cat pyjamas and a sleepy look on her pretty face, barging into his room like she owned the place. With him simply closing the door behind her, knowing for a fact that she wouldn't be leaving his side anytime soon.

Jack laughed, looking amazed at the information. Because ten years ago if a teammate of his had turned up at his hotel room demanding he play games with them at nearly two o'clock in the morning, he would have punched their lights out without any hesitation.

But not Cherrie. No. Never her.

"Oh wow! And what did you do? Tell her to bugger off?" Jack laughed, curious to know how it went down.

Fernando simply smirked and answered him easily "well, she likes to behave like a child so I treat her like one. I made her a hot chocolate , wrapped her up in a blanket and then I bored her to sleep by talking about a nature documentary I watched. It was lights out in as little as twenty minutes." He smugly grinned. Proud of himself for handling the definitely unmedicated adhd woman the way he had.

They all laughed and Jack shook his head at the older driver with a amused grin.

"So it's going well then? Friends?" He said knowingly.

Fernando chuckled a little , adjusting his hat ontop of his head. "Well..I have no choice really. She never leaves me alone. I think she's in love with me." No, he knew that she was. Just like she knew that her feelings were definitely returned too.

They just hadn't brought it up to each other yet. Because between Cherrie stealing his car , sneaking into his hotel room , stopping her from picking fights and travelling all around the world together. There hasn't really been any time to bring up their feelings just yet.

Fernando didn't know if they ever would because as sociable and amazing as Cherrie was. She hardly ever took anything seriously. She didn't talk about her feelings for you, she would simply just bully you instead.

Fernando knew that she liked him the first time that she had called him a 'arrogant prick' and told him to stop revving his engine obnoxiously because 'making his Ferrari roar wouldn't make his dick any bigger!'.

And Fernando knew that he liked her back when he had simply burst into laughter at her insults instead of running her over with his car. It was as simple as that.

She was the only one who could speak to him that way and still live to tell the tale. He loved it because he could do the same to her too.

Because unlike max, Cherrie could dish it out and take it too.

She bullied him with a affectionate smile. And he bullied her back with a fond smirk plastered across his face too. That was just the way they worked and Fernando wouldn't change it for a single thing.

Before he could go on to tell Jack about all the  other annoying things she had done to him lately , a familiar voice was heard shouting up to them.

Fernando chuckling to himself as he turned his head to look down at the ground beneath them, seeing Cherrie wave up at them with a mischievous grin on her pretty face from the bottom of the metal stares that led up to where they were.

"Speak of the she devil and she will appear!" He joked to others around him, smirking to himself in amusement . "We've summoned her." He muttered.

"Fernandooooo! Everybody loves Fernandooooo!" She sang up to them with a grin as she jogged up the stairs to join them. Not at all bothered about busting into the middle of his interview .

She simply winked at the camera and waved at the crew surrounding them filming . Walking over to her teammate and immediately leaning into his side.

"You missed me already?" Alonso teased her as he loosely wrapped his arm around her shoulders, giving her a small subtle squeeze. Looking down at her sunburnt cheeks and even darker freckles that now littered her noise.

Rolling his eyes to himself , knowing for a fact that she had forgotten to put on the sunscreen that he put in her bag for her to use again. Also knowing for a fact that he would be the one rubbing aloe Vera onto her skin later on when she complained of her Sunburn to him.

Cherrie just sighed dramatically, leaning her cheek against his arm and fluttering her lashes at him with a grin. "Oh yes. As soon as I couldn't find you I just burst into tears and fell to the ground , crying my little heart out!" She flailed her arm about , sniffling obnoxiously as she mimicked sobbing , despite the smirk on her lips. She was committed to her act.

He patted the top of her head with a amused laugh, shaking his head fondly at her . "I know. I would miss me too. I am amazing ." He said to her, eyes never leaving her own.

Missing the knowing looks that Jack and the crew were giving each other as they watched the teammates mess about in front of them.

Cherrie just laughed at him "sureee! Anyways ..I heard that you're going on holiday." She said to him, pretending to not be that interested in the fact that he was going to be out of the country for a few weeks tomorrow.

Fernando hummed suspiciously , knowing for a fact that she was planning something . "Yes..? I need the peace and quite. Some well deserved me time during our break." He said while side eyeing her. Counting down the seconds until she stopped beating around the bush and told him what she really wanted.

Trying not to laugh to himself as he watched her rock back and forth on the heels of her feet, plastering on a sweet smile on her pretty face as she looked up at him.

"Ya know.. I haven't been on holiday in a long time." She innocently mentions to him, looking up through her dark lashes at him.

Fernando snorted a laugh "go on one then." He simply replied back to her. Knowing for a fact what was about to happen.

He knew her a little to well already. A side effect of being in love with a woman that was as about as subtle as a flying brick in the face he supposed.

Cherrie just beamed at him, clapping her hands together excitedly. "Okay I will! What time will you pick me up tomorrow then?" She asked him with a grin while the crew around them laughed at her audacity.

Fernando looked back at her in disbelief "I didn't say you could come with me on my holiday! Did you not hear the 'I need peace and quite' part?" He exclaimed, trying not to laugh. But it was hard. He loved her! He really did.

She just pouted back at him pleadingly "please! You won't even know I'm there! I'll be quite. I'll just sit back and get a tan while you do you!" She promised him with a hopeful smile. Already knowing that she was going to get her own way.

Fernando laughed loudly at that, looking at her in amusement . "Trust me you cannot be quite for more than ten minutes and I will know you there! You're not a woman to be missed Cherrie! You're not coming with me! I'll never get any peace with you there!" He shot back at her, shaking his head.

Cherrie just stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her chin on his chest so that she could peer up at him with those eyes..

Fernando groaned to himself, unable to look away as she batted those beautiful eyes at him. Pouting her lips in a way that she knew would have him folding in half like a ironing board.

"Come on! It'll be fun! We can get tan and swim around..oh my god did you get the room with a jacuzzi?" She gasped excitedly, already planning what she was going to do.

Her teammate just sighed "yes I did. For me. Not you." He reminded again. But it was no use.

Cherrie looked at him for a moment before smirking to herself and letting out a dramatic sigh of her own, simply shrugging her shoulders at him.

"okay. Then I guess I'll just go on holiday with Charles and Pierre instead. Two beautiful men and just me .. in a tiny bikini on some tropical island together where we can do whatever we want without anyone watching us .." she pretended to pull away from him, acting unbothered.

But she couldn't stop the smug smirk from tugging at her lips when she felt Alonso grip the belt loop of her denim shorts and yank her back into his side within seconds of her mentioning the two drivers (who had crushes on her and always flirted with her in front of him) names.

Fernando was scowling at her now, jealously biting him in the ass as he folded. Just like she knew he would.

"Absolutely not! You're coming on holiday with me!" He snapped immediately.

Giving her a grumpy shove to the side of her head with the palm of his hand  , Sending her stumbling away from him with giggles falling from her lips as she obnoxiously cheered , throwing her hands in the air victoriously.

"Okay. We need to pack your shit then." He sighed out , smiling despite himself as he took ahold of her hand so that he could help her safely down the steep stairs. Not trusting her not to face plant right down to the bottom of them. She was that clumsy.

He briefly looked over his shoulder at the chuckling crew and sighed "I'll see you guys in two weeks. I'll either be bald or completely grey haired! Pray for me guys!" He joked. Getting a offended slap in the arm from Cherrie who just called him a dick underneath her breath , before running off to wait for him by his car.

And really Fernando should have seen this whole thing coming . He was completely gone for her. It was ridiculous . All these little moments of laughter, of insulting jokes and bickering. Of soft moments and warm hugs in hotel rooms. Of pretending to be unbothered by her presence in a room full of people, when the only person he wanted to be with was her.

It had all come down to this. It was just a matter of time wasn't it? And well, Fernando had never been a coward. Never been afraid of saying it like it is, his feelings included.

So it wasn't surprising to him that as soon as they were in his car and he was driving her to her apartment to help her back for their holiday in the morning , he took one look at Cherrie, bathed in the golden sun that was setting around them and just sighed in defeat .

"I love you ya know?" It came out so simply, merely stating a fact . Because it was that simple. He loved her for all that she was and all that she could be.

And he knew that she felt the same. Love didn't have to be complicated or scary . It didn't feel that way for them. It just felt right. Like all the pieces of the puzzle were falling into place. This has been a long time coming.

He thought about that time when she had snuck into his room after they had a little argument about him accidentally blocking her from getting past on the track, having defended the wrong position by mistake. They had bickered and his ego had prevented him from taking all the blame, leaving a loud mouthed Cherrie to tell him to go fuck himself before storming away. He had expected her to hold a grudge , for their newly formed friendship to fall apart . But he should have known better than that.

Because not even a few hours later she was walking into his hotel room like it was her own, holding a bottle of champagne as a peace offering, no longer mad after she had seen the upset look on his face when he had to explain himself to the media , apologising to her publicly with regret, clearly beating himself up over his mistake that had cost her points.

So she had put her own ego aside and did the right thing. She simply threw herself down on the couch beside him, giving him a casual grin as she held up a small bracelet for him to see. Looking pleased with herself when he carefully took it from her fingers and examined it closely .

"I made it for you. A little gift from me to you." She muttered while smirking.

Fernando had looked down at the cotton threaded bracelet made up of their team colours and laughed when he saw the beads in the middle of it.

No.1 Asshole. It read.

He slipped it onto his wrist with a growing grin on his lips. Chuckling at her as he looked back up at her smug , ridiculously pretty face.

"You have to make me one now." She had joked "like friendship bracelets."

He had merely laughed again "and what would I put on it? Loudmouth?" He resorted back to her. Tightening the braclet around his wrist to make sure that it didn't fall off.

Cherrie had just shrugged, more interested in the football game on the tv then. "Whatever word you think of when you think of me I suppose ."She muttered distracted.

And maybe he knew it back then too. The love had to have already been in his veins . Because the next day he had bought a children's bracelet making kit and got to work.

It was after a race when he handed it to her casually , as though it was nothing . Kissing the side of her hand in congratulations, the proudness clear on his face for her after she had gotten a podium win.

hermosa. It simply read. She just winked at him and tightened the cotton around her wrist. Nothing needed to be said. It was that simple. It always had been.

There was also the moments that brought him to loving her that she didn't know about. That he would never admit to doing.

Like the time that he had found out from Lance that Cherrie was going on a date with some guy she had met in a bar with her friends the night before. He should have known that it was love the moment he felt his stomach twist and his smile drop from his face as though he had just been told someone had died.

He Should have known it was love the moment he found himself outside the hotel , casually leaning against one of the fancy pillars as he waited for her date to show up. Having heard from Lance that Cherrie had told the guy that she would meet him outside the front of the hotel.

And well, love apparently made you crazy because the minute Fernando spotted the suited guy strolling up to the hotel holding roses in his hand, he had a sudden urge to hit him with his car.

Instead he simply smiled at the man , who was none the wiser to what he was about to experience.

And look. Fernando was a good guy. He was trying to be a better man. Really he was. But he just found it a little difficult to be one when he was face to face with the man about to take his teammate , the one woman that he might have fallen in love with, out on a date.

So he stopped the poor man in his tracks and sighed pitifully at him . "You here for Cherrie?" He spoke up casually , acting unbothered.

The young man frowned slightly but nodded his head on conformation. "Yes. I am."

Alonso faked a wince , patting him sympathetically on his back. "Oh man. Good luck then. She's crazy! You have a first aid kit ready?" He said to him, fighting back a grin as he saw a flash of uneasiness pass the mans face.

He frowned over at him in confusion "no? Why would I need one? We're just getting dinner." He told him obliviously. Shifting away from him uneasily.

Fernando just shrugged, trying not laugh. "Oh you don't know? I've just heard that she's into the whips and chains. Likes to make a man scream if you know what I mean, and not completely in the pleasurable way but.." he let out a sigh, casually shrugging his shoulders . "To Each there own i suppose."

Her date had paled horribly, looking horrified. "What? But-she didn't mention anything about it. She seems really sweet and fun last night when I met her.." he trailed off, looking worried now.

Fernando was trying to not cry with laughter , biting his cheek to hold his mean little giggles in.

He kept going, needing to scare him off completely. "Mmm. She likes role play . All though it wouldn't be pretend for you if you do stick around after the candle wax and whips...she'll be popping that baby out soon too! You can play daddy!" He couldn't help himself . Really he couldn't.

Smirking slyly beneath the palm of his hand as he coughed to hide his laughter , looking at her date who looked like he was going to pass out in fear.

"Baby? She's pregnant?" Her date weakly echoed in disbelief .

Fernando just casually nodded his head "oh yeah. With her husbands , brothers baby. A real drama but.. hey, good luck man! You'll need it!" He stepped away from the wall, patting the horrified man on the shoulder encouragingly .

Before he could get very far, the man quickly shoved the roses into his hands and gasped. "I can't do this! I just-I don't want to be whipped or tortured in bed!" He panicked , looking like he might be sick "and I can't -a baby? Oh my god!" He stumbled over his words, backing away from the hotel fearfully.

He looked at a smug Fernando with wide eyes "will you tell her that I'm sorry but I'm just not the right one for..whatever it is that she wants?" He pleaded to him.

Alonso just beamed back at him happily "no worries buddy! I'll let her know!" He shouted gleefully at his back as her date ran away. Sprinting away from the hotel and never looking back again.

Not even five minutes later a annoyed Cherrie was stomping towards him with a pout on her pretty face, feeling his breath hitch as he looked at the little black dress she was wearing. She looked like a goddess and Alonso could only silently stare in awe at her for a moment as she stomped towards him.

"He stood me up! What a jerk!" She complained to him obviously .

Fernando just offered her a sympathetic smile before holding out the roses her date had shoved into his hands when he scared him away.

"I know . I bumped into the coward. He was bragging about how he had a wife waiting for him back home so I told him to fuck off for you." He lied to her. Feeling a little bad but not too much.

Cherrie gently took the roses from him with a small smile , looking at him gratefully. "You got me flowers? That's so sweet!" She cooed before squeezing him into her embrace. Both arms around his waist as she cuddled into him happily, ditched date forgotten as soon as she saw him.

He hugged her back just as tightly , running the palm of his hand over her bare back soothingly, kissing the top of her head with a quiet , content sigh.

"No big deal." He simply muttered before pulling away and giving her a smile "I'll take you out tonight instead. You want to go to Tilly's?" He mentioned her favourite restaurant smugly. Knowing how much she loved the food there.

Cherrie gasped excitedly, beaming at him as he gently hooked their arms together , leading them to his Ferrari .

"Fuck yes! Can I drive?" She tried her luck, looking up at him hopefully.

Fernando just snorted and pushed her into the passenger seat of his car not so gently , giving her a amused look . "Absolutely not. Plus , you want to drink like a alcoholic tonight , yes?" He knew her too well.

Cherrie paused before slowly nodding her head , smiling over at him sheepishly as he got into the drivers seat and started up the car.

"Yes. You don't mind not drinking?" She looked gratefully at him. Pulling out her phone to take a picture of him as he drove, admiring his side profile with a small smile tugging at her red lips.

"As long as your happy, I don't give a fuck." He simply replied. Meaning it.

And really. He should have known them what he knew now. It was all so simple and so obvious when he looked back at all their moments together , each one leading to this.

So it was no surprise that he told Cherrie he loved her casually in his car as he drove them to her apartment to pack for their holiday that she had invited herself on . In typical Cherrie fashion.

And it was no surprise when she simply reached over the console to press soft kisses against his skin as she whispered back to him  "I love you too."

It was that easy. That simple. And others may not have understood their relationship. They may not have liked it. But they simply didn't care. Because love was love , as simple as that.

He was winning on the track and off it too. He couldn't have been happier.