#thank you anon for this great commentary

[nachosncheezies]

I just saw your tags about s5 scully hair being the one and just wanted to say I agree so much. I feel like ftf and s5 is scully hair TM. I also have a real soft spot for the late s3/early s4 scully lewk, particularly the make up.

(Whispers quietly: I really don’t care for her s6 hair)

Hi hi hi anon! \😄/ I am so glad you see it too! If you're talking about the post I think you are, I can't take the credit - I'm pretty sure I copied some of those tags from the previous poster. xD But hey, that just means we're in good company, right?

I generally feel pretty icky commenting on anyone's appearance except in a positive light, but I will say that I don't disagree about season 6. When it got even shorter in season 7 (around about Maleeni) though was probably the one I like the least.

(Karenish before "Karen" was a thing? idk. she looks like my therapist (but hotter.))

(top hats can improve many things)

That bathtub updo in Hollywood AD was cute as shit, though.

But yes, season 5 was definitely a - maybe THE - highlight. I mean:

(may we all look this good on our inexorable path to the grave)

(not bad for someone who didn't even get real cream cheese!)

And yes! about seasons 3/4.

I'm rewatching season 8 right now and finding myself pretty partial to the look in some of those episodes too, though I concede my opinion may be colored by my just generally loving the angstfest that is season 8.

(there's something a bit Never Againy about it isn't there? like the fringe or something? idk i know literally nothing about hair. anyway i think it's similar just with ANGST CLASSIC™ instead of Rebel Angst Lite™)

I have to admit I haven't watched past the end of season 8 yet, at all, ever, so take this with a Big Grain Of Salt but I just really really gotta give honorable mention to IWTB. Just look at this post!!!!!!! It just works. Never seen a gif from that film that I didn't like.

My last opinion is also a PSA, but I also really think Scully deserved more ponytails. How you gonna do science much less CORPSE science with your hair at risk of falling in your eyes! You can't just brush it away! You're wearing gloves! Those things touch your subject and your tools and nothing else!!! Safety first guys!!!!!

Thank you so much for your message anon! 💕 We're all members of the "damn she looks good" club and it's so valid and fun to say it.

[delullu]

That band that you reblogged (Ghost BC) gloryfies satanic messages. You should do better research before sharing such deprimental content. Our youth especially are already endangered from all sides by terrible influence, they don't need Satan in their life even more than they already are exposed to him already. They need Jesus our Lord and Saviour, not Satan. Do better!

honestly, this is a top 3 ask I've ever gotten on this site, so, thank you anon for making me laugh so hard, that i choked on my oat milk.

the short answer to this is: wat

the long answer is: YOU should do the better research, because just watching one (1) of their short film video thingies on youtube would make it very, very clear that this isn't about real satanism. The satanism is just a vehicle for their actual message, just a fun little gimmick and also to make their message more clear. theyre not "pro satan" or "anti jesus" or whatever shit. theyre anti "organizations that take advantage of people" (what many religious groups often do!) and anti "just following blindly some asshole in charge" (again, many religious groups!) especially under the pretense of religion and other believe systems (like maga and other shit).

I'm too lazy to go into any details, so i'll just drop a screenshot from a recent interview the bands singer did regarding their cover of Genesis' Jesus he knows me

So, yeah, there you have it. Nothing satanic. Just commentary on current social developments.

And thanks, but please let people decide for themselves how much Jesus they need and want in their lives, that would be great. You should be less concerned about fun bands and more concerned about the rate of church officals molesting innocent children :)

Finally, here, have a gif of the current leader of this Terribly Evil Satanic Church, look at how much of a scary evil overlord he is

[yj-98]

Followed you for interesting commentary and excellent taste in character art

:) thank u anon i try my best <333 ☀️🫶

[signedkoko]

Hi hi! I want to request a gn reader who is the closest thing Alastor has to a best friend, right hand man type feel. Like Reader is a sinner and had to make a deal with Al for their soul, but Reader is so honest when they talk and act that Al is all "they aren't so bad." Alastor calls on the Reader first almost everytime and Reader is like, "This is the least worst situation. Let's not screw it up" as they throw their all into whatever Al needed them to do. So when Alastor tells them to get a job with Vox to spy on him, there's a groan, then a fine.

Sorry if it's a bit jumbled, I had a thought and ran with it. Also, could I be 🗑anon

Alastor X Reader [Platonic]

In which you are the only person Alastor might consider a best friend. Reader is genderneutral.

While you'd sold your soul to the demon a long time ago, you certainly had perks that most others under his control did not

In fact, you didn't even act as if Alastor 'owned' you; you did your own thing and respected his wishes as best you could, and Alastor just never seemed to mind

Perhaps that was a front; no one was certain; all they could tell was that Alastor certainly favoured you

Anytime an issue arose and he was busy, he would leave you in his place, and by god, you never did disappoint

Actually, most people prefer it when it's you; you are far less worrisome to be around and a lot less mysterious about things

The only thing you didn't talk about was yours and Alastors history

Whether that was part of some binding agreement or you were just scary good at diverting the topic whenever it came to what you did in the past

Typically, Alastor's duties for you include watching over his other souls, going to the tailors, or doing 'whatever Charlie asks of you!'

Otherwise, you'd be at his side, usually the two of you watching the rest and making bantering commentary about the hopelessness of the people in the hotel

Unfortunately, being so close meant that Alastor really trusted you with difficult tasks

Were you capable? Absolutely!

But did you want to? No.

Because he tells you so much, he probably goes to great lengths to make sure you aren't accidentally 'letting things out'

Which means no technology when working with him

You found that out the hard way

" Oh yes! Do you have a phone I could borrow? "

" Uhh - yeah, sure. Here. "

He crushes the device instantly

" What the fuck. "

The one thing about you is that you prefer the easy way out, and as Alastor puts it, you have hidden talent that you are 'too lazy to use', but you couldn't care less

You'd do anything he asks, both because he is your friend and because you technically have to, according to your soul binding

But you will be grumpy about it the entire time

Being so close with Alastor means you also hate Vox by proxy, so any mission involving him is just miserable

Fortunately, Vox doesn't know you, though, so you really were Alastor's best bet when he wants a spy on the inside

" Do I have to? "

" Of course you do, deary! Now pick up that smile and get marching! "

Author's Note - He is such a menace to his friends, I love writing for platonic Alastor. Thank you so much for requesting, and welcome to the blog, bin anon!

[dizscreams]

Hii hii can I request a Jack Champion × actress reader where they react on some edits Abt the two of them in an interview and then one ship edit Abt them came out thank you so much

++ I luv your writing so much some times I go overboard by liking all of them sorry Abt that Have a great day/night

ur so sweet anon ty :( <3 I hope I understood this right 😭

Mesmerized — Jack Champion ★

PAIRING: Jack Champion x gn!reader

TAGS: @beary-rambles @ashlesys-blog @wekiamo @wenvierismycomfort @aesthetixhoe @mbankfav @aqellano @dizzyscreams @c8rdigan @teyamsgirll @evanpeterswifeyy868

A/N: he’s so bf like he’s literallyy my bf?! I love my bf!! bf!! he’s so this song!!

The producers for the interview you were doing didn’t tell you what the interview would be about. Both you and Jack just assumed it was a normal interview until you had to do the intro for the video. ‘Action!’

You wave, “Hi I’m y/n l/n!” Jack follows you and waves as well, “And I’m Jack Champion.” You both share a smile before quickly looking back at the camera, “And today we are going to be reacting to edits of ourselves.” Jacks eyes widen a bit before nodding slightly, “Lets do it.” “Lets do it,” you repeat.

Someone gives you a phone and tells you all you need to do is scroll and give commentary. “Jack, do you ever look at edits of yourself?” You ask him before clicking on the first video, you pause it before it starts to hear Jacks answer. “Uhh sometimes,” he laughs, “When I’m bored, or they’ll randomly appear on my for you page. What about you?” You smile a bit, “Same here. I also get tagged in a lot of them.” “Oohh yeah me too.”

“Shall we start?” You ask shaking the phone a little.

“We shall,” Jack responds with finger guns. You chuckle and start the first video, it’s an edit of Jack. It was of his Scream 6 character, Ethan Landry. Jack was blushing slightly when you had looked over at him. You giggled when the video ended, “Soo what’d you think?” He giggled with you, “People are really talented. I will say though I wasn’t expecting so many people to love Ethan. Especially because of.. the movie,” he said slowly.

You hum, “The movies been out a while I think you can say it.” He looks at you and then back at the camera, “I didn’t expect many people to love my character in Scream 6 because he’s a psychopathic murderer who chases people in a Ghostface mask,” He says in an accent and claps his hands together. You cover your mouth with your hand as you laugh. “Alright let’s move on, next!” Jack says smiling.

“Okay, here you can take the phone this time,” you tell him handing the phone to him. He takes it and scrolls down to the next edit, “I think it’s of you,” he whisper yells. You recognize the clip used as one in an interview you did only about a week ago. Jack looked at the video and then looked back at you while grinning. He seemed to be enjoying this a little too much, but you didn’t mind.

“Aw I liked that one,” you spoke up first.

“Me too,” Jack says as he stared at you. He liked the outfit you chose to wear today, he always admired your sense of style. He also liked the way you did your hair, it framed your face nicely. “Jack?” He cleared his throat, “Yeah? What?” You let out a confused laugh, “Were you listening?” His face turned red at the question, “uhhh-” You shake your head with a smile, “It’s okay, next edit!” You stick out your hand, signaling for him to give you the phone and he just looks at it.

You shake your hand and nod towards the phone a bit trying to be more clear and he tilts his head. You look at him and he looks like a lost puppy with his big brown eyes boring into yours. You smile a bit and lower your voice, “The phone, Jack.” “OH! Right yeah here,” he stumbles over his words as he hands you the phone. The light pink blush dusting his cheeks once again making him look even cuter than before.

“Okay and here we go,” you mutter. The video plays and at first it’s clips of Jack, you can recognize where some of the clips are from. A lot of them are from Avatar interviews, which makes sense. But then there’s clips of you and that causes your eyebrows to knit together slightly. Just a friendly edit, you presumed, but at the end of the video there’s a clip of you and Jack together.

It’s a clip from a little behind the scenes of Scream 6. The small moment was of Jack putting his arm around you while you were both in the backseat of a bus going to set that day. You smiled at the memory and the video came to an end, “That was cute.” He nodded in agreement, he had the same stupid smile on his face, “Yeah.” You took a peak at the comments, all of them were ship comments.

“They’d be so cute together!”

“Are we sure they aren’t dating?”

“The way they look at each other 🥹”

“I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE”

“There’s no way they aren’t dating”

Your smile got bigger and you handed Jack the phone with a quiet, “Your turn.”

The interview went on for a couple more minutes until they were satisfied with the length that the video would be. Then, it was time for the outro. “I’m y/n l/n,” Jack said and you followed his lead, “And I’m Jack Champion.”

“And you’re watching Disney Channel!”

“That’s not it, Jack-“

“And you’re watching Buzzfeed Celeb!”

“There you go. Thank you so much for watching..”

“And make sure to leave a like for more content like this,” he said finishing your sentence in a British accent.

“Cut! That was great, guys.”

You looked at Jack only to find him already looking at you, “You wanna go get lunch?” He asked already standing. “Of course.” You guys made your way out of the filming room and he made sure nobody was looking before he grabbed your hand, giving it a kiss,

“You don’t know how hard it was for me to stay quiet about our relationship. You looked so good, I just wanted to brag about how you were mine the whole time,” he said while pulling you in for a hug. You giggling and wrapped your arms around his neck and gave him a quick kiss, “We’ll tell them soon, babe.”

[slytherheign]

LETHAL LOCKET | harry potter

PAIRINGS: harry potter x reader, hermione granger x reader (platonic), ron weasley x reader (platonic)

WORD COUNT: 1.9k

SUMMARY: each time one of you wears the locket and how you comfort each other when things get overwhelming.

WARNINGS: depression, doubts, anger, and hopelessness. let me know if i missed any warnings. [⚠︎︎RATING: G]

AUTHOR’S NOTE: this is a gender neutral one and i didn’t specify which hogwarts house the reader is in. requested by an anon here. also, ron leaving hasn’t happened here yet. i barely got time to proofread this so please let me know if you see any mistakes!

DESTINATION: Angst Avenue | GO BACK TO THE STATION. CLICK HERE FOR ALL THINGS LETHAL LOCKET (reviews, commentary, etc. about this fic).

Nothing has been the same ever since you managed to get Salazar Slytherin’s locket from Dolores Umbridge. And now you were hiding in a tent in some forest Hermione led you all into.

You all knew that the locket contained a piece of the Dark Lord’s soul, that was why you and Hermione deduced that whoever wore it gets irritated, angry, and extremely depressed. You came up with a plan to take turns wearing it and it was your turn.

You slowly put the locket on your neck, already feeling anger clawing its way into your heart. It was suffocating, corrosive, eating away at every ounce of happiness you tried to hold onto. You did your best to shake it all off at the moment.

“Are you okay?” asked Harry, holding your hand. You squeezed his hand to tell him you were fine. You followed him towards the table, sitting on the chair beside him. 

The tent glowed from within under a starlit sky as Hermione poured tea from a kettle into the cups. “How’re the mushrooms? Seem to be the only edible things growing round here,” she asked.

Harry could only grimace as he chewed. “They’re great,” he lied. 

“Make sure to leave some for Ron,” Hermione said.

You looked at Ron who was sleeping as Harry asked Hermione how bad he was at the moment. “He’ll be alright in a few days. Hopefully. If we could take him to Hogwarts, to Madam Pomfrey–” she cut herself when Harry glanced at her, giving her a look that confirmed what she already knew—it was not possible to take Ron to Madam Pomfrey. You would just have to settle with what you have right now.

You felt it again, that familiar weight pressing down on your chest. The world felt like an empty void, and the possibility of winning the war seemed so distant… so out of reach. You took a deep breath, trying to push the darkness away. Yet, depression started to creep its way in, causing your shoulders to slump.

“Take it off,” Harry instructed you, instantly feeling the change in your demeanor. 

“But I haven’t been wearing it for that long. I can manage a little longer,” you reasoned.

“No, Y/N. Take it off. I’ll wear it instead,” he told you and you didn’t bother to fight with him anymore. You gave him the locket, and he placed it on his neck.

“Thank you,” you whispered to him, kissing his cheek. He smiled in response, yet again squeezing your hand that still held his.

“It’s comforting to know how much you care for each other. Especially during these times.” Hermione grinned at the two of you.

Hermione was agitated, you could tell it by the way she handled the fish she was about to cook. And you knew it was mostly because of the locket she was wearing. 

You immediately grabbed her hands tightly, stopping them from further stabbing the fish when she was supposed to remove the scales. “You know the fish is already dead, right?” you asked. She looked at the fish, realizing what she was doing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was doing that,” she replied, shaking her head. You could see the disappointment that etched her face.

“It’s okay,” you smiled. “I can cook for tonight.”

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Of course. You’ve already done so much today. You deserve some rest. I’ll just wake you up when it’s time to eat,” you replied, taking the knife and the fish away from her.

She teared up a bit, smiling widely. “Thank you so much, I really appreciate this. If you need any hel–”

“Hermione,” you stopped her. “Stop. Please, just rest. I know how to cook a fish. I’ll be fine.”

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll help her cook,” Harry offered, coming up from behind you. “I’ll make sure the fish stays edible.”

You glared at him and he just laughed. You did not appreciate the fact that he couldn’t trust you with cooking, but you did appreciate that he was going to help.

“Thank you guys so much,” Hermione smiled, hugging the two of you before going to bed.

You saw Ron covering her with a blanket and you looked at Harry to see if he saw it too. He did, and now you were giggling with each other at how your two friends couldn’t just admit their feelings for each other.

Ron was staring at the fire. There was so much anger and doubt beneath his eyes and you understood where they were coming from. You walked towards him, sitting down beside him.  He nodded, acknowledging your presence before looking at the fire again. You could tell from the way he breathed deeply that he was attempting to steady his thoughts. However, a pang of anger emerged, causing him to clench his fists.

He was still injured and you have noticed that he seemed more quiet and reserved lately. You wanted to ask him a question, to ask him how was he but you were scared you’d make him more annoyed than he already was. The locket on his neck wasn’t helping.

“I’m guessing you’re here to ask how I feel?” he voiced.

“Yes…” you replied, still skeptical of whether you should leave him alone or stay with him. 

You chose to stay with him.

“Well, how do you think I’m feeling?” he snapped. “What do I look like? Do I look like I’m fine?”

Harry and Hermione stopped their conversation as soon as they heard Ron. Harry stood up from his position immediately, ready to intervene. 

“Ron, I’m just concerned–” you told him.

“I feel horrible,” he interrupted you. “I feel like I’m a barrier stopping all of us from making progress.”

Harry’s stance changed, he was ready to fight Ron earlier when he heard him snap at you. But now, he felt heartbroken for his friend. He sat down beside you and Hermione followed him. Now, the four of you sat in a circle.

“What makes you feel like that?” Hermione asked him. “That’s not true.”

“Really? Do you think I don’t hear you all constantly talk about how long it takes until I get fully healed?”

“Ron, it’s just–we don’t have all the time in the world and we want to get you healed as soon as possible,” you reasoned.

“Exactly,” he said. “I’m halting all of us. You all wanna leave but you feel like you’re forced to stay because of me.”

“You are taking all of this wrong,” Hermione spoke up.

“It’s the locket,” Harry interrupted, trying to remove the locket from Ron’s neck but Ron swat away his hand. “Take it off,” Harry warned him. He was getting irritated as well.

“Can you both stop?” you vocalized. “Ron, I don’t know what it is that you want us to say but at least believe me when I say that we don’t feel forced staying with you here. Yes, we could’ve traveled more these past few days but we still made progress by staying here. We had more opportunities to talk and brainstorm together. And at the same time, we were able to get some rest from constant traveling. If we wanted to leave you, we could’ve done that way earlier. We could’ve left you injured, but we didn’t. We didn’t leave you, we stayed with you because we care for you. Now, please take that locket off before you assume things again.”

That seemed to calm him down. Harry tried to take the locket off from him again, but this time, Ron let him. Ron looked down, letting your words sink into his head. “I’m sorry,” he apologized. Hermione moved so she could sit beside him, rubbing circles on his back to comfort him.

“It’s fine. We all overthink things when we’re stressed,” you said, smiling at him.

“Thank you,” he spoke, looking at each one of you. “I’m glad I have you all.”

You were all gathered around the table when you noticed that Harry’s hands started fidgeting. He hid them behind his back but it was too late because you already saw them. When Hermione asked him a question about where all of you should go next, he only shrugged. At that moment, Ron and Hermione knew something was wrong. Harry suddenly walked out and you immediately followed him. Hermione wanted to go after him as well but Ron stopped her before she could even move a step.

“Let Y/N talk to him,” Ron said and Hermione agreed it would be the best.

You saw Harry sitting alone, visibly overwhelmed. His hands were grasping tightly onto each other, trying to fight off the anger and depression creeping in. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to regain control. The locket he was wearing doubled up the anger and depression he was already feeling.

"Come on, pull it together," he whispered to himself. He didn't notice you sitting beside him. It saddened you to see him like this. If you told your young self that the giggly kid you met at the Hogwarts Express back in your first year would end up like this years later, you wouldn’t believe yourself. But now here you were, beside him, watching him say positive things to himself when you knew there were little to no positive things left.

Harry hugged his knees. His eyes were still closed, and he put his head down as if he were trying to cover himself from the world. You teared up just from that sight alone.

That little kid who gave you candy on the train years ago grew up with the weight of the world on his shoulders, and you were a witness. The war was far from over and each day that passed without finding a horcrux troubled every one of you.

You didn’t know what to say so you just did what you could do at that moment. You hugged him, so tight to make him feel that if he wanted to cover himself from the world, you would provide a second layer of protection.

His body stopped shaking and he looked up at you. That was when you saw he was crying. You wiped his tears gently with your hands, telling him that you were there for him and that you were always going to be there for him.

“What if everything fails and he wins?” he asked, hugging your body with every bit of his strength. He was holding onto you like his life depended on it. You hugged him back, kissing his forehead before putting your chin above his head. You saw Ron and Hermione standing at the entrance of the tent, their eyes were tearing up as well. You didn’t know how long they had been watching you and Harry but you motioned for them to go outside.

They joined the hug, and right after, you felt safe from every harm that would come your way. Moments where you felt safe only happen rarely, so you cherished this moment.

“He won’t win,” you stated.

“How do you know so?” Harry asked.

“I don’t know so. I just believe so,” you answered. 

You hugged them even tighter, whispering that it was going to be alright when in reality you weren’t sure if everything would be alright.

Maybe what you were doing was instilling them with false hope, but at least it was still hope.

And right now, you all needed hope so badly.

SLYTHERHEIGN TAGLIST: @writingstoraes @joshiiieeenesx

message me or comment down below if you want to be added to my taglist! specify if you want to be added to my main (slytherheign) taglist where i’ll tag you in everything i publish in the future or just the wizarding world/hp taglist.

[assortedvillainvault]

Hi! I was browsing the Lord Shen tag and found your blog 👀. I loved the headcanons for ShenxReader through the wolf henchmen's pov ❤️.

Would you mind sharing some headcanons but from the pov of the fluffy Lord peacock himself?

Hi Anon, thank you so much!!

I'm so sorry that my Lord Shen Masterlist slipped my mind - I'm fighting tumblrs atrocious tag search to find my previous writings for him and get them on there for you. In the meantime please - have some more!

Lord Shen x Reader Headcannons

- This stuck up, mithery, hairpin tempered ball of anxiety and condescension is officially your problem now. I mean. You chose this, so I’ll leave it to you as to what end of the bad choices scale you’re landing on, but man. You sure picked.

- I also can’t get over the fact that – in China and most of the East: white is associated with death and sadness, and mourning. You not only picked the unhinged genocide gun bird, you picked the only person in all of China to be literally born emo via albinism.

- I will get back to the above, but I’m mcfucking losing it over the image of Shen being. The smaller of the two of you.

- Like if you were a smaller creature he could properly get his elegant noble stride on, nose in the air and tail gently swishing behind him as he circles you, admiring every angle and relishing the nervous, excited little glances you give him. He might not be a strictly predatory species but he sure loves that thrilling edge of not-quite-stalking. He’s too high class for the genuine article, that’s what he has the wolves for.

- But if you had the audacity to be larger than him?!

- He’d grind his teeth if he had any. He wants so badly to intimidate you – making sure to step with an extra click of metal coated talons, words honey-barbed and sticky as he looks for chinks in your armour, having to crane his head back and up to look you in the eye and- look- could, could you just- just lean down? Lean down for goodness sake just- there. There. Lovely. As he was saying…

- Shen going to go bananas planning the perfect courtship. Everything must be. Exactly. As he plans it. God forbid you trip on the stairs. If you bribe the guards to move all furniture two inches to the left you’re going to have a great time watching Shen’s eyelid twitch for twenty minutes as he tries to figure out what’s ticking him off.

- Want a shortcut? Say nice things about his cannon. No seriously, it’s not a euphemism (though it could be-)

- The cannon is the culmination of Shen’s ambitions, the reason for his exile, the demonstration of ingenuity that set him apart. Seeing you run a hand smoothly over the intricate castings and complimenting his life's work is going to fill him with so many butterflies he’ll have the wedding ready by noon.

- Of course he does, underneath all the royal snobbery and sass, really, genuinely like you. More than he ever thought he could ever like another person. Go you.

- ...He can’t contain the terror that you might not like him back. Not because of all the murder, no, that’s clearly not the issue. But because he isn’t perfect enough for you. Because he’s not enough.

- Shen popped out of his egg all but rocking the 2007 bangs and MCR soundtrack of his time: born the colours of death in a house and species traditionally all the colours of the rainbow will have been like a self fulfilling prophesy – unspoken but not forgotten as he grew up and internalised his inadequacy by striving for excellence in literally everything else in life.

- Excellence in the form of weaponry, security, excessive control and genocidal ruthlessness. Combined with ingenuity, high intelligence and paranoia: all wrapped in a package of straining courtly manners and a need to constantly have the upper hand.

- You keep taking the fucking rug out from under him by reversing the script and being nice. Even his nanny (soothsayer, who has having a great time munching popcorn and giving incidental commentary) gives him shit and drives him up the wall – yet you’re out here, smiling (how dare you-) and- and saying he looks good (he knows, knows he looks sickly and out of place, a reaper amongst royalty-) and – of course you want to hand his hand really, who wouldn’t (who would?) - he’s fine, he’s fine-

- If he dared to let you go, he’d shatter like a discarded doll.

- How does it feel, reader, to hold the fate of all China in the balance of your smile?

[fa-by]

I LUV IT

Hi babies and dear Anons 👋🏼, me again 🙃. I posted a new Q&A yesterday, and @camrensrealbish (btw hi, bud 👋🏼😄) asked me in the comments if I could create a post just for I LUV IT's two analyses.

@camrensrealbish: “Hi Faby, I love the interpretation of I LUV IT. I luv it, I luv it, I luv it 👌😅. I think it explains so well that this era is not surface-level at all. That thought through lyricism and symbolism is definitely still here. And how we’re so eager to dismiss hyperpop as stupid and without substance, be it for our convictions about femininity or sexuality, or even caution because of how other people use women’s sexuality. But when done purposefully it just shows how showing someone’s sexuality in this way *can* be empowering and authentic. And I think this is the case here. Can you please post your song commentary in a separate post, please? I would like to share it properly 😘”.

I originally wanted to post the two analyses as I did here now, but I couldn't because Tumblr has limited the possibility of posting more than 30 pics and I don't know why the fuck 😤. So thank you, dear 🤗. You gave me the excuse to be able to do it 😉.

Enjoy 😊.

Hiii to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I hope you're good too and about your ask, sure 😉.

So. I LUV IT ft. Playboi Carti released on March 27, 2024, is the first single for her fourth LP: C, XOXO. It's a hyperpop/experimental pop song and it samples Lemonade by Gucci Mane and interpolates Cockiness (Love It) by my queen RiRi (Rihanna). The studio recording with Carti was completed on Dec 17, 2023: (Carti's instastory)

Let me tell you something, this song was meant to shock. She pulled a Yes, and? and it worked 😎. For those of you who don't know what I'm referring to by that, I meant that Yes, and? was Ariana Grande's single for her album Eternal Sunshine and it's a diva house/dance-pop song, which was a different and unexpected genre especially then comparing it to the rest of the songs in the album when it was later released. It's a great song, but if it weren't for the concept that connects to two other songs, it would have nothing to do with the rest of the album musically and sonically speaking. It was a calculated idea to make it different from the rest. It's very smart and it's a good strategy for both a comeback and an album. I feel like I LUV IT is exactly the same thing. An impactful comeback was needed and this, together with the platinum blonde and the new era in general, served the purpose. The song was meant to be talked about for better or for worse. And guess what? Mission accomplished 😜.

This song is not for everyone. There are those who loved it right away, those who hated it and still do, and there are those who hated it and then slowly loved it. In reality, most people hated it and then loved it 🤣. I personally didn't hate it but I didn't love it right from the start either, not gonna lie. I just liked it 🤷🏻‍♀️. But after the third listen? Bouncing ass, tongue out, aaaand I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it 🤣!! This song is definitely a grower! The more you listen to it, the more you become addicted to it 😍.

But anyway. Unlike the video, the lyrics talk about sex. So let's get started. Oh and, of course, I won't include Carti's mumbled Atlanta rap or as his fans say, the Cartinese, simply because he wrote his part.

***Btw, I can no longer listen to Carti’s “Oh, you on the road now? - Oh, you grown now? - Oh, you too grown now” without bursting out laughing 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣. I can't help but hear Nas' imitation of Carti's voice in the HE KNOWS music video🤣🤣🤣. For me, those three sentences have now become just one repeated X3: “Oh, you on the floor now” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣***

Oh oh oh, last thing before starting. If you're a prude, LEAVE NOW. Skip the whole lyric analysis and go straight to the music video analysis. The song is about sex like I just said and I therefore won't hold back from explaining certain things, okay? I warned you 🙋🏻‍♀️. I don't wanna see complaints in the comments as happened years ago. Thank you.

Song

Verse 1:

“Supersonic, in your orbit”

So, supersonic. One word from which two derive: super and sonic. Super: above the rest, better than the rest. Sonic: derived from the Latin ‘sonus’ which means sound. Super-sound. Basically a loud noise, a sound/sonic boom that (the actual meaning of supersonic:) breaks the acoustic barrier by traveling at a speed faster than the one of sound. A flight can be supersonic. As well as a missile and even a gun bullet.

An orbit is an ever-changing path one object in space takes around another. An unscientific example? A dog with its favorite toy often orbits their owner insistently because they want to play with them. Speaking from personal experience here 🤣.

***Oh and, lil fun fact. In prostitution specifically, orbit was, and perhaps still is, a code word for oral sex***

Ultimately, “Supersonic, in your orbit” means that Mila is this supersonic boom, this let's even say supersonic shock that orbits around her prey. As I've said many other times in my analysis, Mila likes to use wordplay in her songs and this is basically her artistic way of explaining sexual provocation. She's provoking her target.

“And I’m bad, diabolic”

It's giving intense energy and mischief out of the ordinary 😜. She knows she's good at it (provocation). She has a goal (to sleep with her) and succeeds because we have the aftermath of her intent in the next sentence.

“Bottle rocket, on the carpet”

Her favorite lyrics because many people didn't grasp the meaning 🤣. Definition of bottle rocket: a firework typically consisting of a cylindrical case that is partly filled with combustible material and fastened to a guiding stick which may be placed in a bottle to control the direction of the rocket's launch.

In this case, in sex, bottle rocket is the representation of cuming hard in an explosive way.

Rockets have a phallic shape, so the first thing that's assumed here is that it's the sperm that's on the carpet, also because the song acts as straight 🙄, but where's the deception? Even girls can give someone a bottle rocket. How? By being an explosion and not a normal female cum orgasm, with female ejaculation also known as squirting.

Ergo, she's talking about herself. This song is not about sex with a guy and I can even prove that with the next sentence.

“Threw it back and he caught it”

Round two, doggy-style position. Movements: “Threw it back” her ass “and she caught it” with the hands by placing it directly back on the face aka mouth-tongue (clue about the lil fun fact I mentioned earlier) or by directing the entrance of the cave of wonders on the dildo (since Camren loves toys so much 😜🤣🤭). But, given the “he” because, again, the song acts as straight 🙄, the meaning should make you think of the guiding on the dick. But no. As I said before, I can prove it.

When guys cum, it literally takes them a while before they can go again. Some need 10/15 minutes, others hours or directly the next day because they literally physically can't. It's rare anyway that they manage to go beyond the second round (unless they're in the midst of adolescence and are like 14/15 years old 🤣), and those who miraculously can make it, also last very little and their cum is also very little. And mind you, I'm not saying these things to belittle men. I'm not making anything up. It's the pure truth. Not only have I experienced it myself (cause yes, hi 👋🏼, I've been with my gf for 3 years but I'm bisexual and I've had relationships before her), but these are facts that you can even look up if you don't believe me.

It's obviously not the same for all guys and they're all different, but us girls literally need 5 seconds or nothing at all to recover, and we don't have limits like they do. Unlike males, we females can have multiple orgasms. Sexual arousal and orgasm are possible again right away. So no. It's impossible she was talking about a guy.

If she was really talking about a guy, it's impossible that immediately after his Bottle rocket, on the carpet (yet another proof that Mila was talking about her cuming, her squirting) he didn't need some enough available time for round two (Threw it back and he caught it). Let’s move on 💪🏼.

“I go soprano, baby, go down low”

Soprano in music is the highest note, so in this case, going soprano means she's screaming with pleasure. And in her euphoric state, she guides her partner back down there into her buried treasure.

“And when he leads, I gotta follow”

The movements. Like in dance. In partner dancing, there are those who lead and those who follow. They're designed roles to facilitate the movements. The one who leads manages the body of the one who follows and decides the dance steps and direction of travel from time to time.

The thing that makes me laugh about this part is the “when he leads”. “When” 🤣🤣🤣. Because she's the top and she's the one who leads most of the time because Laur's the bottom (even though they're both also switch) so when Lo leads, when, sometimes, occasionally, I gotta follow 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Oh Mila 🤦🏻‍♀️🙈🤣.

“I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral”

She feels out of control (spiral) because the ending is so beautiful that it almost makes her lose consciousness (blackin’ out).

“I need you now and tomorrow”

And forever.

I’d also like to add a deeper meaning of sex to I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral – I need you now and tomorrow. Although she said the song is about sex, she also said:

“Part of that cocktail is also the emotional drama between you and that person, and the chaos and butterflies and nerves and passion. It’s unsustainable and not peaceful and exhausting, but also, I LUV IT.” – “Now I feel kind of lonely and small and weird, but at the same time, I’m an adult and I feel so strong in other areas of my life, but not this one. There’s just the wrestling of those feelings without it being kind of neat or in a box. You can’t really say that it’s a sad song, you can’t really pin it down. It’s just kind of me wrestling with these feelings and me kind of being really present on a particular feeling and exploring it. I feel like a lot of songs on the album are that”.

So going deeper, “I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral” indicate her anxiety. Being on a spiral or simply spiraling, is an emotional state that rapidly worsens in a way that becomes increasingly difficult to control and often leads to short-term periods of anxiety or depression. Aka her OCD gets triggered. Which by the way, I remind you that for her leads to obsessions and repetitive thoughts. And in a certain way, we can also see it in the repetition of the same phrase in the chorus.

So here she's saying: 1) I’m blackin’ out, aka I'm going crazy, I'm freaking out (connection/thing that reminds me a lot of “Am I out of my head? Am I out of my mind?” Bad Things [analysis here (eleventh ask)]) 2) I’m on a spiral, aka I'm anxious, distressed, worried, fearful. Why? Because I don't wanna lose you aka 3): I need you now and tomorrow. This alludes to the desire for connection and intimacy that goes beyond sex.

Both meanings (sexual and deeper) however indicate the intensity of her uncontrollable and erratic emotions towards as she said “that person” Lauren. But she doesn't care. “It’s unsustainable and not peaceful and exhausting, but also, I…?” She…? She what? Sing it all together🎤🎵🎶👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼:

Chorus:

“I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, ooh

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it”

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7…...

27.   27……

27 times, huh? 😜 What a wonderful coincidence! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 of all the numbers, precisely the 27. Would you look at that 🤣🤣.

No seriously tho. The words have to fit and respect the tempo of the song, but coincidence or not it's still funny for me 🤭.

Post-Chorus 1:

“Lemons on the chain with the V-cuts (X2)

Lemons in their face, watch ’em freeze up (x2)”

This part was sampled from the song Lemonade by Gucci Mane. Lemons are basically yellow diamonds (known as Canary Diamonds) cut/engraved in the shape of the letter V (an expensive method of cutting diamonds).

The meaning behind that would be that people would “freeze up” in shock at seeing this display of wealth and success, these lemons/diamonds, “in their face”s. They're oh so surprised and intimidated that they even freeze up for this luxury lifestyle thrown in their faces.

Umm………. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Do we really care? Of that? Okay 🤣. About something she didn't even write? Something that she literally took copied and pasted into the song? Pfft, okay. Can we move on? Thank you 🤣.

Verse 2:

“Super twisted, sick addicted”

Twisted: someone who's mentally or emotionally unhealthy or disturbed: sick. --> Sick addicted: someone who's unable to stop doing something as a habit. Ergo, she's saying that she likes/enjoys it a lot and wants to spend as much time as possible doing what they're doing: sex.

Nonsexual meaning: She's using strong words to describe not only herself but also what their relationship is like. They may be twisted, and addicted, and toxic, and all the other things we've seen in their songs, but no matter what, she/they LUV IT, cause they luuuv each other.

“Kiss me hard, someday you’ll miss this”

A dig for all those times they break up or take breaks.

“Meteor shower, in your power”

What's a meteor shower?

The meteor shower is nothing other than what we commonly call shooting stars. These are obviously not stars, but meteors. Meteors are the aftermath of asteroids and comets that ORBITATED the SUN.

Asteroids (celestial bodies composed of rocky bodies) and comets (celestial bodies composed of frozen gases) become meteoroids when they fragment. In turn, meteoroids ignite and disintegrate when they enter our solar system, becoming meteors, ergo shooting stars. Those that don't disintegrate and manage to touch the earth's ground instead become meteorites.

How does a meteor shower happen?

The meteor shower happens when the earth, in its ORBIT around the SUN, crosses an area in which fragments of rock and dust (meteoroids) lost from a comet or an asteroid (celestial bodies made of rock, dust, and ice coming from the outermost areas of the solar system) are concentrated. When an asteroid and a comet heat up as they pass close to the sun, they reach such temperatures that they fragment even more (meteoroids) and when these very tiny fragments enter our atmosphere, they ignite and burn due to friction by generally developing tails, luminous trails (shooting stars) until they vaporize or leave debris (meteorites) behind.

Lil fun fact: some meteorites found on earth come from the MOON 🤭🤣. Most come from destroyed comets and asteroids, but some come from Mars or the moon.

So, after this compelling little science lesson, I can explain what Mila means by “Meteor shower, in your power”.

It's very simple actually. A meteor shower is a celestial event. She's comparing their sex to this astronomical phenomenon, the “Meteor shower”. The “in your power” is due to the fact that Lo’s the one who’s leading as we saw in “And when he leads, I gotta follow” in the first verse.

“Seein’ stars, oh my God”

The retina sends light signals to the brain by making sparks, stars, or flashes of light appear in the visual field. When does this happen? It usually has to do with the head. You've made a movement too fast, like standing up suddenly, or you've been hit on the head, or you're about to lose consciousness, etc. These are all negative aspects, but we're talking about something positive here. Sex.

This amazing sex (Meteor shower), this second round (Threw it back and she caught it), brings her to another orgasm (maybe even another Bottle rocket 🤷🏻‍♀️😏) during which she feels so bewildered, so dizzy, and she experiences this very surreal feeling that overwhelmed her by even Seein’ stars during it. Seein’ stars: to climax, to achieve orgasm.

This can very well be connected with ““I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral” She feels out of control (spiral) because the ending is so beautiful that it almost makes her lose consciousness (blackin’ out)” that I explained earlier.

Oh and, the “oh my God” was her, um 🤣, comment, to express that ending if it wasn't already obvious enough 🤣.

Bridge:

“Slow down, baby”

All of Playboi Carti's “Uh, uh, uh, uh” before Mila's “Slow down, baby”, at least to me, indicate the thrust of the act. Again, he “sings” them to prove the song is straight 🙄, but we know the truth. Anyway. The “Slow down, baby” means exactly that. Either Mila's settling down from the end of round two and needs a tiny bit more time to go as fast as they were going before, or she simply wants this third round to go at a slower pace than the previous one, or better yet, Slow down, baby like in ‘stop, it's my turn now’ (to lead).

Another proof that this doesn't talk about sex with a guy. As I said before, it's rare for guys to get beyond 2 rounds, so let alone a third one 🤣. Sorry, not sorry, but it's literally the truth 🤣.

And that's it. I luv the fact that Camila's lyrics in this song talk about sex but she uses words that still perfectly capture the magnetic attraction between the two of them. I luv how she's quite unapologetic about it. And I LUUUV how she also used these cosmic references in general, but above all, how they anyway hide in a certain way the two important celestial bodies in our sky and solar system: their representation, aka the moon and the sun.

Now let's move on to the music video where everything that could go wrong happens 👍🏼🤣. What is she trying to convey here? Let's find out.

Music video

Opening scene. A Robin Hood wannabe who takes coins from his pocket.

Three empty stationary police cars in a driveway while an aspiring lumberjack cop is, for what initially appears to be, cutting down a tree to prepare for winter.

KhaleesiMila enters the scene 5 seconds before she starts singing. She looks like she just came back home from the night before given her outfit and her slightly messy hair. But not her makeup. The makeup is perfect of course because it's still a music video 😉.

She enters the kitchen with a chocolate cake in one hand while with the other she nonchalantly tosses her heels in a spot where it's very usual for us girls to leave them 🤣: at the doorway or in the bedroom on the kitchen counter.

She starts singing and eating a piece of chocolate cake at the same time.

At the same moment as the first bite of the cake, we have a really well-done perfect transition of her spitting her mouthguard out in a somewhat snobbish but challenging and provocative way because she's ready to fight against a professional female wrestler.

Soon after we have a 3-second split shot of her chewing the cake in the kitchen again and her and Carti in the gas station, before cutting to a long one where we have the reappearance of the archer from the opening scene.

From this moment on, all the small shots, the little introductions that we initially had, are explained a little bit more extensively with longer scenes and shots. Still messy 🤣, but longer.

Hospital part 1

Now that we see the surroundings, we notice how Legolas wannabe is in the corridor of a hospital and that the coins he took from his pocket in the opening scene, he needed them to get something like a chocolate bar from the vending machine. After taking it, he walks back to a white-dressed Mila who's sitting with an arrow in her heart.

A flash passed before my eyes and for a moment I was back in 2019. Why? Liar. The cover art picture of the song portrays her as an angel with wings.

Camila explained that Cupid strikes her with his bow to make her fall from heaven and unmask her, by making her not so angelic anymore because she's actually a liar who's hiding something, that is a secret [hmm, I wonder which one 😏😎🤫🤐🤣]. This whole story created for the song inspired the visual for the entire album Romance (whole album inspired by the surrealism of a museum of love stories in heaven).

So I asked myself, what is this? A connection to Romance but direct to Liar? No. I'd say more that she paid homage to it since even though the lyrics are about sex, the ideology of the video is about their toxic relationship and how she knows it's toxic but she LUVs IT anyway.

Anyhow, I guess that at the arrow in the heart scene, you all thought that the Green Arrow wannabe was Cupid. Same thing here, mostly because of the connection with Liar. I initially thought: “Oooh, it's Cupid! Cupid shot her with his arrow, ergo she's in love. But she's lovesick, and because of this the hospital: love - sick”. Then I saw the whole scene (plus the ending which I'll explain, well, at the end 🤣) and I realized: “Nope. Not Cupid. Not Cupid at all. Hi, Lauren 👋🏼”.

***Let's be clear. This is a music video. A creative and imaginative way of portraying objects, people, and scenarios in general. Yes, it's Camila's POV, but Lauren isn't that bitchy and dickish in real life. Okay? Every artist does it. It's art. Literally, as the word implies.***

So, back to the scene. Rewind. Lauren Hawkeye wannabe takes the candy bar from the vending machine and goes back to Mila. *This is the point where I got to before.* He doesn't even look at her. He just sits. Contrary to her who follows him with her gaze as he sits down and she also turns her head to look at him one more time before looking straight ahead.

That chocolate bar or whatever the fuck it is, it's not even for her. He took it for himself without even having the thought of taking it for her or taking something for her as well. I mean he's like, he's there for her. He went with her and he accompanied her also because he hit her with an arrow. Like yeah, we know that. We can see that. But even though he's there for her, he at the same time doesn't acknowledge or address her at all. He's just there. Present and not. Waiting for her turn.

While she, even smiles with her mouth closed as he's returning to her, but it's a smile I'd say forced. A kind of smile that masks how uncomfortable she feels. It's a wan smile that shows no energy or enthusiasm. It's a stoical ‘grin-and-bear-it because you're used to it after all’ kind of expression. That smile alone makes you understand how ‘normal’ this situation is for her. She's so used to it that it's a standard routine for her. It doesn't come as a surprise.

In a situation like this one, in a hospital, with an arrow in the chest/heart, anger or pain or both reactions are what you expect to be shown by her. But no. She's just there. Waiting for her turn.

Meaning behind this? The arrow in the heart represents a metaphorical way to express the idea that love can be both powerful and overwhelming, capable of causing joy and pain in equal measure. In this case however, the arrow in the heart doesn't represent a tender sweet and romantic symbol of Cupid and Valentine's Day. It represents a heart-piercing emotional pain. In this case, that arrow is nothing more than a heart-stopping arrow through the heart.

Fight & Dogs

In the next scene we have the professional female wrestler again. Like when she spat her mouthguard out in the opening brief shot, Mila continues to have this defiant attitude *she’s so hot there btw 🤤🥵*.

She shows herself as very self-confident with this superior aura and this cockiness that gives off an ‘I can kick your ass’ vibe. All of this flies out the window the moment the wrestler makes her move against her and Mila shits in her pants and starts running away 🤣.

At the same time that she starts running, we have another perfect transition of a running dog.

Then we have another very brief shot of her continuing to eat the cake in the kitchen, before alternating the fight with the wrestler and not just one dog running randomly, but her being chased by no less than three dogs 🤣.

These two scenes are connected on the part of running for your life. Literally as far as the dogs are concerned 🤣. And speaking of the dogs, the scene represents the danger and risks of being in love with someone. It represents all the feelings of chaos that go along with it. It represents feeling afraid and helpless with a constant internal battle of anxiety and fear. Being chased by dogs is stressful, scary, and unpleasant, BUT, it's even adrenaline-pumping and the depiction of it, is basically like an excited nightmare that represents not knowing where things are leading. Running into the unknown. She's scared but she does it anyway because the journey is electrifying.

Going back and talking about the scene with the wrestler, the running scared to avoid the actual physical fight is the representation of avoiding the confrontation. And that's something we know Mila does thanks to both her and Lauren. We also know this because in 2016 she herself said that she avoids conflicts with people. It's a vice/bad habit that she's always had.

BUT, no matter how much she tries to run away and avoid this confrontation, it always happens. Sooner or later, she eventually always finds herself having to face the problem unwillingly or not. The representation of this in the video is when she's captured. We actually see this section almost at the end of the video after Carti’s “🎵tursin-eh-oh-and-halloh-eh-halloh-eh-halloh-I'm out o-controool🎵” 🤣🤣🤣. We see the wrestler chasing and catching Mila, which leads to the headlock wrestling move.

Now let's talk about this section with the headlock that we see both at the end and currently in the first chorus of the part of the video where we are. Specifically this one here. We see several headlocks in sequence, but the one I want to focus on is the second one, where the wrestler is enacting the chokehold with only one arm.

Like, umm… 🤭 The way you caress her arm and look at her, and the way you sing “I luv it” with your tongue sticking out in that seductive way 🔥.

I mean... Mila, honey…😏 I see you! 🤣

No wonder in the BTS of the video she said: “I've been the most excited for this scene all day”. Hmm 🤔, I wonder why is that 🤣🤣🤣. Just as I'm not surprised by the other clue she gave in the interview with Bru On The Radio when talking about the scene: “It's like a little homoerotic. It's cool! But um- * she bursts out laughing by looking to the side* -yeah”.

Homoerotic: 1) (especially of art, literature, drama, or the like) using symbolism, allusions, situations, etc., that invoke sexual attraction or activity between people of the same gender. Example: There's definitely some homoerotic subtext in that book. 2) having sexual attraction to people of one's own sex or gender, especially when that attraction is repressed. Example: To say a man has a “streak of lavender” means that he has homoerotic desires. 3) relating or involving sexual activity between people of the same sex. Specifically: marked by, revealing, or portraying sexual desire between people of the same sex.

I have nothing else to add, Your Honor. I have nothing else to add 😎🤣.

No but seriously now. She doesn't act that way during the other headlocks. In those, she tries to fight back and somehow defend herself by trying to free herself. We see her react in a rather normal way to that type of situation. But in that particular hold? Nope 🤣. We can see how much she likes it. How attracted and aroused she is. The reactions she has during the other headlocks represent her external side, what really happens and what she lets see. While in that particular one, we see the toxicity of what happens in her inner part. The “I luv it” to the choking which on a larger scale, represents her toxicity in loving the pain. Even though they're fighting and she hates the confrontation and is in pain, she LUVs IT anyway because she luvs HER.

***Mind you that this is only an additional representation and seen in a more generic way. I don't see it as fitting to the theme of the music video as much as the one I've already explained to you now.*** A broader meaning could also be the representation of how the love for Lauren is so strong that she can't fight it. We've seen this other times in the lyrics of songs like This Love [analysis here (the penultimate ask)] and Señorita [analysis here (the last ask)] where Mila was having an inner struggle because, on the one hand, she wanted to protect her feelings, and on the other, she couldn't resist her. Ergo, the scene where she tries to fight this love, the professional wrestler, but she loses and thus is ultimately defeated.

House

Next scene we have her continuing to eat the chocolate cake plus this guy who comes in and rides around her house on his motorcycle and she does nothing.

Let's dwell for a moment on her eating.

Where have we seen something like this before (besides the reality of everyday life)? In every damn movie and TV show since forever 🤣. Someone is sad for some X reason like they had a fight with someone, or they're going through a breakup, and what do they do? They eat either something chocolate or ice cream. 90% of the time it's something chocolate related. Why? Because when consumed, it releases endorphins in the brain that produce a mild feeling of euphoria by mimicking the feeling of being in love. This is why chocolate is called the love drug. It gives comfort and joy and when we're down, we emotionally crave chocolate because we're unsatisfied with something.

Her eating chocolate cake in this case is an indication of unsatisfied desires and emotional needs.

Now let's go back to the guy with the motorcycle. He's destroying everything in his path and she's simply there, munching on her cake unbothered.

He's causing a mess but she doesn't even try to stop him. She doesn't get angry, she doesn't scream, nothing. And why? Because as I said before by talking about that type of smile in the hospital, this situation is ‘normal’ for her. She doesn't react simply because she's used to it. The chaos of their relationship doesn't surprise her also because, I mean, it's been years and years.

The house depicts her head and what happens in it. Him destroying the house is a representation of how she sees his bringing chaos into her life and their relationship. On a deeper level, her not reacting to the destruction of the house represents the fact that she's so in love that she ignores bad and toxic behaviors. The whole scene represents the toxicity and destruction that a relationship can bring into your life but you keep trying because you LUV IT. Lauren brings love, happiness, passion, euphoria, but she also brings chaos which also encompasses mess, confusion, disarray, whether all good or bad. We also saw this type of example in the lyrics of Consequences [analysis here (penultimate ask)].

Successively we have a mix of scenes, among which are the cop one of the opening scene, the car one, and the bathroom one.

Palm tree

We can finally see that this aspiring lumberjack cop is chopping this palm tree because Camila is on top of it.

Now, I have two interpretations for this. The palm tree represents Lauren/their toxic love in both interpretations.

N° 1, she's stuck on the tree. Being stuck represents her way of saying that there's no way out of their toxic relationship even though someone (represented by the cop) or more than someone (since there are 3 police cars even though we only see one cop) tries to get her out of this situation.

N° 2, the one I see as the most truthful, the most right one. She's not stuck on the tree. Mila is Walzing it 🤣🤣🤣 (for those who don't know, Dinah used to call Mila ‘Walz’ and here you can find the reason why the nickname was born). Her koalaing the tree also represents her co-dependence. She's clinging to it and doesn't want to let go.

She's on the very high point of the tree; visual meaning: danger. If she were to fall, she would die or be seriously injured. But she doesn't care. She's ready to risk her life. Deeper for the representation: her love is so strong, that she's ready to risk it (“I'll risk it all”, as we've already seen in Used to This [part of the interpretation that you can find in the analysis of Only Told the Moon here]). She's ready to risk everything/risk it all even if she were to lose her heart and if it were to affect even her mental and physical health as we've already seen in the lyrics of Consequences.

Even in this case, the cop represents someone or more than someone in her life who tries to get her out of this situation. They use extreme ways to do this, representative of getting her down: cutting down the tree. Why? Why doesn't this cop who clearly knows that this person is experiencing some kind of problem call the fire truck to bring a ladder to save her since that's what's normally done in these situations? Or he doesn't go directly and find one himself? Why doesn't he talk to her and try to reason with her to get her down?

Because it's not the first time this has happened. The cop (her family, her friends) is so used to and tired of seeing their on-again, off-again/cycle/loop/circle, that he decides to help her in a more brutal way in this case. Representation: chopping down the tree. It doesn't matter tho. It doesn't matter that other people try to help her in hard ways. She doesn't wanna lose her, and therefore she depicts how even though she knows it's a toxic relationship, she's clinging (codependent) to it and continues to love her because she doesn't want to depart/separate herself no matter what. Reason why we even see her singing “I luv it” while she’s glued to the tree.

Car

Speaking of falling (and how these two scenes are connected). Instead of that tree, here we see her having fallen over a car. Part of the car is destroyed, as is she. It's a representation of being in love and how it can sometimes destroy you. But again, we even see her singing “I luv it” because she doesn't care.

She doesn't care about falling and being crushed by/for her. They've taken a lot of risks over the years. They've suffered, they've hurt each other, and they've fallen down and gotten up every single time. And those wounds, in the video are represented as real wounds with cuts, bruises, gashes, and all that jazz.

She doesn't even care when we, the public and the fans, see her destroyed like that. We've seen it many times, especially after years and years spent growing up in the public eye. By this, I'm obviously referring to the woman who's immortalizing the scene with her phone.

Although that, it's also a representation of what would actually happen in today's world: instead of helping or calling an ambulance, the woman is filming or taking pics.

Bathroom & Bedroom

Contrary to the connection that the tree and the car scenes have, this one is connected to the ones of the dogs and the professional female wrestler.

We first see her in the bathroom. She looks in the mirror and even lifts her shirt up to look at her belly. Let's say normal things that we all do, and so far, nothing strange. Then we also see her perplexed and undecided tho (when she sighs with her finger in her mouth). And we see her rehearsing. We see her change her expression to a determined one and make the gun gesture with the fingers of her hand.

***Sorry but I have to tell you guys 🤣🤣🤣. I found it extremely funny how she made the gun gesture with her fingers precisely at “someday you’ll miss this”. THIS and bam: fingers out 😏😎🤣.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry 🤣🤣 one day she'll miss, what, Mila? Your gay fingers?🤣🤣🤣 Oooooookay 😉🤣***

Back to normal. All that represents her mentally preparing herself, and for what? For what we then see in the bedroom. Before heading there, we can see her expression of determination but more importantly, we can see her pissed-off expression.

She walks into the bedroom with this imaginary automatic machine gun that she uses to shoot and destroy the bed. As she does that, the footage also shows us the rest of the room, and what do I spy with my little eye 🧐? A frame hanging on the wall. And what's in that frame? Five boys with the word ‘sorry’ written on their backs.

Wait a second, wait a second… FIVE???? 😲 Five as a reference to Fifth Harmony? 😱 Five as in 5H because it's a hidden clue to confirm that she's talking about Lauren? 🤯 WHAAAAAT??? 😵

Yes, guys, yes. For those who haven't noticed, the answer is yes. Camila doesn't do things shittily. There's always meaning in the things she does, whether it's hidden or not. And if anyone tries to tell you otherwise or something different about that clue, don't be fooled. Why 5? Explain the 5 otherwise? They could've used a thousand different things like, for example, an apology/sorry note left on the bedside table, or even just one guy with sorry on his back in that frame since all of this is supposed to be straight and about a guy 🙄. But no. They used FIVE of them specifically.

Moving on.

The rehearsals she was doing in the bathroom that we later saw lead to the destruction of the bed with the imaginary automatic machine gun, were all due to Mila being pissed off about something Laur had done. Something we know thanks to the not-so-hidden apology message in the frame. Now I don't know about you 🎤🎶but I'm feeling 22 🎶🎤 sorry but I had to 🤣 but I know that even though Camila is magical, she doesn't really have powers 🤣. So even though this is the representation of her being pissed at Lo, she didn't actually shoot the bed. It was all in her head. She was just imagining doing it. Yeah, she was angry, but we also know that she'd run away in reality to try to avoid conflicts as we saw in the scene with the dogs and in the scene with the wrestler (aka Laur herself), during which, however, we also saw that the wrestler captures her and that therefore Mila was then forced to face.

Hospital part 2

During the mix of these three scenes (Palm Tree - Car - Bathroom & Bedroom) just discussed, we have two small shots of Mila in the hospital. The first during “oh my God” and the second during “I luv it”.

We see her looking in one direction before saying “oh my God”. It's an exasperated “oh my God” because no one's assisting her yet.

She sings “I luv it” by tapping her finger to her temple in rhythm but we can see how impatient she's starting to get for the wait. Yeah, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, but she's irritated and frustrated.

Gas station

Mila and her friends pull over into this gas station. A guy with long hair immediately approaches to serve them, but instead of refueling the car as we normally expected, he does it to them. He takes the pump and fills their glasses with gasoline, even though we know very well that it was actually nothing more than “some disgusting water-down apple juice”, according to Mila herself.

All this during “Lemons on the chain with the V-cuts (X4) - Lemons in their face, watch ’em freeze up (x4)” Oh well, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade Camila Cabello drinks gasoline 🤣.

Sorry, sorry 🤣. Joking aside now.

Drinking alcohol produces euphoria. It's stimulating, exciting, and lowers inhibitions and control. It's intoxicating, and although this word usually indicates something positive, it can also represent something negative especially when associated with alcohol. Drinking alcohol is intoxicating in a good way, but if done too much, it's intoxicating in a harmful way. In this case, alcohol is the representation of another hyperbolic metaphor. It's yet another concept represented in an exaggerated way. Gasoline, fuel, or whatever the hell it was, is obviously toxic. Ingesting it is dangerous. It's yet another representation of their toxic relationship and tendencies and how she doesn't care going against all common sense because she LUVs IT.

There would also be another possible meaning behind this scene due to Playboi Carti's verse. He talks about drugs (Novocaine and Mary Jane), luxury cars (Lamborghini Aventador SVJ), and rebellious life in general.

Novocaine is a drug used as a local anesthetic normally by dentists. Mary Jane is the literal English translation of the name Marijuana. Spanish: Maria/Mari. English translation: Mary. Spanish: Juana. English translation: Jane. Ergo, Marijuana: Mary Jane. In the past when drug users talked about marijuana, they called it Mary Jane so as not to arouse police suspicion.

I explained all this because specifically his talk about drugs made me think of a different possible meaning behind this scene. You see in the US, many drug dealers operate out of gas stations. Mila and her friends are getting gas at the gas station. In slang, ‘gas’ is a noun made popular by rappers to refer to weed/marijuana.

It might be that the scene has both meanings. Alcohol for her and drugs for him. Who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️. Maybe we would've seen it for real if Carti hadn't arrived late for the video shoot. But anyway.

Right after that, we have the dance scene. I have two interpretations for that even here. Both true.

The first one: Don't expect me to say sweet and predictable things like that she's dancing hypnotized because she's drunk on love 🤣. Nope. The blindfold is supposed to represent how blinded she is by love and shit, right? The typical phrase ‘love is blind’ that makes someone unable to see the flaws of the person they love. True, but at the same time in her case, bullshit tho. Buuuullshit! Because we saw throughout the video how she's aware of everything.

She chose to put the blindfold on and dance freely whether it's just for fun or distraction or to literally dance the pain away. She chose to put it on to ‘not see’ the flaws, the toxicity, and all the negative things. She knows. She knows they're there. It's just her choice to ignore them because, once again, she doesn't care because she luvs it and her.

The second one: Based on the getting gas in the previous shot, whether it's just alcohol or whether it's also marijuana, that's why right after that scene we see Carti with his hoodie backwards (it's literally backwards, look closely) before he starts singing and Mila and the girls dancing together blindfolded with X’s over their eyes.

It represents the beginning of the effect. 😵: literally the dizziness of drunkenness and/or stonedness. In a deeper way, it represents love being a drug/addiction to live to the fullest (dancing).

Again whether it's just alcohol or weed, that's also the reason why at the end of the video they're both comfortable and relaxed in eating calmly as if they don't have a care in the world (despite the video being completely the opposite). Both alcohol and weed increase hunger and appetite, sometimes leading to strange and uncontrollable cravings. That represents half to almost the end of the effect.

Hospital part 3

She's still waiting. She's still waiting for someone to help her remove that fucking arrow from her chest. The whole reason she's been there waiting for probably hours. Nurses even walk past in front of her but still no one assists her. As before, she's still annoyed, but now she's also discouraged and sad. Not only that, but the male version of a Katniss Everdeen wannabe is also gone. Representation of a breakup or one of their breaks. Mila's alone, and suddenly, the wound begins to bleed.

In this case, the arrow through her heart symbolizes feeling emotionally hurt. Since loving someone is not always a walk in dreamland, but it also consists of twists and turns and can really fucking hurt you, here we see how her heart starts dripping blood. The bleeding can also represent how toxic relationships leave you in the end. Again, love is pain but she LUVs IT.

Thing more important, the wound begins to bleed because she's no longer with her. It didn't do it the entire time Laur was with her, but her heart started to bleed in pain only after she left. Representation of how her heart, although already wounded (arrow) by her/for her, cannot bear to be without her (bleeding). As I also explained in my This Love’s interpretation, the choice over the years has often been between having her and suffering, or not having her at all, and as we know, she always chose her.

The end

So, that was the music video. It gave me Miami and Florida. It gave me GTA and crack house feelings 🤣. It gave me wildness and adrenaline. It gave me roller coaster. It gave me college students traveling for the holidays/Spring Breakers movie. *For those who don't know what I'm talking about 👇🏼*

Especially here with this promo.

*Last minute edit: she just said Spring Breakers is one of the inspired aesthetics for the new era*

She in specific, gave me addicted to pain. She gave me impulsiveness. She gave me a fast-paced lifestyle, full of passion, desire, and disregard for consequences. She gave me vibe. She gave me boujee. She gave me dance. She gave me actress and humor as has also happened in other videos in the past (although less than those ones) such as for example Havana, Liar, My Oh My, Bam Bam, Don’t Go Yet, etc. (it's not the first time Camila's been in ridiculous situations in her videos). She gave me chaos begets chaos, and in order to maintain sanity, one must embrace the insanity. Or in her case, a palm tree 🤣🤣🤣.

I mean, all in all and in its complexity, I really enjoyed it. She said the theme of the video is chaos and danger, and we saw that. In the interview with Bru On The Radio, still talking about the video, she said: “This complex feeling of loving the pain of something, or loving the messiness of something, or loving the chaos of something, really kind of like finding the beauty in that part of our humanity”. And we saw that too.

And as if it wasn't clear enough already, the video is an artistic representation of the toxic tendencies and behaviors of their toxic relationship in general throughout all these years. And yes, their as in both of them, not just her as in Lauren's. I told you guys in the beginning that it's Camila's POV and I explained that Lauren isn't that bitchy and dickish in real life, but we don't just see Laur's toxic tendencies and behaviors from Mila's POV in the video. We actually see Mila's a lot more. Let me explain.

We saw how Laur brings chaos into Mila's life and their relationship (house scene). She's hurt her (shot her with an arrow through the heart), she doesn't acknowledge her in the hospital, and she also leaves at the end. The leaving her there (breakup or break) in those conditions as well as not taking something for her too from the vending machine is a neglect; another trait of a toxic relationship. That's all. That's what we see as far as Lauren is concerned. Mila on the other hand…

She's the one who's unbothered, especially in the beginning, in having an arrow in her heart, aka being hurt. She's the one who doesn't react when Lo destroys the house, aka when Laur has toxic behavior towards her. Still her the one who runs away from her problems so as not to face them and avoids conflicts (dogs and wrestler). In fact, if that's why, I wanna put in a good word for Laur in this case since she fights her by forcing her to confront her, aka talk about their problems. Still Mila the one who uses an imaginary automatic machine gun to shoot and destroy the bed symbolically in her head just because she’s angry with her. She's the one who crashes herself on top of a car and risks her life on other occasions with the dogs, the palm tree, and by drinking gasoline. I mean, see what I mean?

Who's the most toxic one we see here? And again, this is just a video. Not the reality. I feel like I always have to specify these things with you guys because one never knows you misinterpreted it 🤣. But anyway. I'm happy Mila did it. I'm happy that Mila represented even her toxicity since for many years due to her songs people only and always blamed Lauren. It's something I've been saying for years 💁🏻‍♀️. They both have their faults. There are two people in the couple and there are always two sides to a story. Not just one.

In any case, that's it, dear Anon. I hope you enjoyed both analysis 🙃.

🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

Aaand I'm done 👅. Thank you all for your asks and I hope I've been helpful this time too 🙃. As usual, I'm always available for those who have questions, so ask away 😄.

Remember to be nice. Always. Both with others and with yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏🏼. Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗. I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️.

[strangegutz]

i made a heartbreak gulch guy i wanted to share with you!! i am so obsessed with this whole universe (i made this blog literally five minutes ago expressly to message you since you can't send pics on anon lol). it's such a fun world to play in and you and your co-creator are so talented.

i wanted to have my oc be a singer, since I love the sort of "old west saloon girl (gn)" energy, and from there, I got the idea of Ramirez Robotics licensing the voices of certain musicians, the same way they do their likenesses. There are three genres of song (crooner/oldies, country, and rock) and one of each gender for six total options. I'm not a great visual artist, but I made a little fake advertisement for that model of C-Droid styled after a 50s nostalgia moment.

Anyway, that's what my little guy, Cassidy, is--he's a deluxe model who was purchased for one of those tourist-trap "saloons" out in Texas with the voice of a female country music star (like a Loretta Lynn or Bobbie Gentry type) and would headline their performances. He was built with a female body mold with wide hips, like a pixar mom. Then the saloon went under and Cassidy was kicked to the curb. Left to his own devices, he decided he wanted to get a few changes made to his body--he started by getting his chest plate swapped for a flat one by his on-again off-again mechanic boyfriend, and buying himself an accessory d*ck he could swap out at will, but by the time he'd saved enough to do things like getting his voice box altered, Ramirez had stopped making the male country model he wanted, so he stuck with his original voice and just named himself after the country star. He kind of bounced around from place to place for a few years looking for somewhere with the same vibe as his hometown until he found Heartbreak Gulch, which is where he posted up! I'm working on sketching him but rn i'm just rotating him in my mind <3

THIS IS SOOOOO SO COOL

I like, don't have any commentary other than vigorously nodding my head and pointing at you. Amazing. Beautiful. Such a good idea. Also really good username you were able to nab

Eddie had a fleeting lover in his past, one of the first other free CompanDroids he ever met, who was a transgender model B named Bruno in a similar vein as this! When Eddie knew him he hadn't had a proper flat chest piece tooled for him yet, so he proudly showed his inner mechanics where he removed his breastplate. Eddie has his own trans allegory thing going on but straight up transgender robots are so so cool conceptually.

I love this sssoooOOOOOOO MUCH thank you for sharing!

[didalexiabreakupwitholgayet]

With all the bad commentary around the Catalans protesting tourists I wanted to share my experience from a few months ago. I found Catalans to be nothing but kind and welcoming, we had such positive interactions! At the Barça game, we were seated next to a lovely Catalan family who spoke no English and we communicated with our very, very basic Catalan and had a great time with them. I won’t get into it further other than to say, there were definitely asshole tourists we came across who 100% deserved to get sprayed with water! I’d suggest tourists learn a bit of Catalan before visiting, just to show you’re trying (so many people would light up at a simple “bon día!”) and try to venture deeper into Barcelona, not just the touristy parts. Language is honestly no barrier, we went to a family owned restaurant and even though no one spoke each other’s language, we had a great night there. We went to an art gallery and the woman working there gave us a mini Catalan history overview simply because she was so happy to hear us greet her in Catalan. Of course this is our experience but I truly think if you are a respectful and ethical tourist, no one will have issue with you.

I could keep going and I’m sorry if I’ve gone overboard! Lots of people we spoke to shared how hard it is for them economically with the influx of digital nomads. This is their home they are trying to look after. I just love Barcelona and Catalan culture so much and would hate anyone to think these protests are unjustified

thanks for sharing, anons! and i'm so happy you had wonderful experiences visiting barcelona and found the locals to be friendly. (i'm biased but i think spaniards are generally easy going and happy to talk to you even if they don't speak english!) there are terrible tourists everywhere in the world and what you all have described are universal principles that i would hope are common sense but sadly are not.

it honestly irks me that there are tourists who don't even attempt to speak the basics of the language, and the worst (sorry to call out english stereotypes) but are the ex-pats who actually have summer flats here but only speak english! 🤦‍♀️ it's as if i go to california or london and automatically expect everyone to understand me if i speak in catalan. 😅

but honestly, 5 greetings go a long way:

spanish/catalan:

hello: hola (same for both!)

good morning: buenos días/bon dia

thank you: gracias/gràcies (pronounced basically the same)

please: por favor/si us plau

bye: adios/adéu

and no one cares about your accent! it's not like spanish people have perfect accents when speaking english!! 😅

[hashtagloveloses]

so are you back on tumblr after a while or you're new? welcome! it's a lot nicer here lately, and, shockingly enough, the website actually works a lot better too, thanks to the hard work of a bunch of very talented people. the mobile app is constantly improving, but if you're on desktop and used to use things like missing e or xkit, the latest helpful extension is XKIT REWRITTEN, which you can go download and read about at @addons that was created by @april, who worked on new xkit back in the day and now works at tumblr itself!

here's some other helpful tips to know:

PLEASE REBLOG THINGS. it's the main form of engagement here. there is no penalizing for spam interaction, most people are not looking at your blog directly, and it is the main way people find you and you find good content to follow. for original content like fanart and fanfic, it also REALLY helps people out. likes are better for like, personal posts, and for storing things for later. also, it doesn't matter if you blog is a jumble of things - it's yours, nobody cares, and that's kind of the purpose of the site

MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A PROFILE PHOTO, BANNER PHOTO, AND UNIQUE URL (that isnt like a bunch of numbers or something), or else people will think you are a bot and block you. you don't have to do anything fancy, you can use the default tumblr theme on your blog itself, but just make sure you look like a real account PLEASE

DO NOT CENSOR WORDS. much like on twitter, if you censor a word for a trigger, it will do the opposite of what you want - people's blacklist and mute functions won't work if the word isn't spelled out in the tags or the text of the post. also there isn't post suppression here.

Don't like your dashboard? Getting bored? Feel like your community is getting annoying? JUST FOLLOW MORE PEOPLE (and maybe unfollow some. a block and an unfollow are always ok). nobody cares, or can see about your follow ratio, and it'll help your dashboard feel more lively (you'll also not give as much of a shit about petty dramas). the follow limit is 5000 last i checked

keep your comments to the tags (unless it's like....really funny or adding something good? use your best judgement). the tags are helpful for subject matter, but you should also use them to talk as like side commentary!

Close your ask box to anons and don't share personal information if you don't want to. You are under no obligation to share your name, age, diagnoses, history, location, face, and you SHOULDN'T. and the ask box is great but if it gets overwhelming just close it. If you're a minor, maybe say somewhere that you're a minor, but that's it. (that goes for any social media site)

MAKE YOUR LIKES AND FOLLOWS PRIVATE. for the love of god. just protect yourself.

just like any social media site - be critical about the things people claim are true on here. screenshots, takes, facts, can be skewed and you should do extra research before believing anything just because somebody said it on tumblr dot com

DON'T GET INTO QUEER OR NEURODIVERGENT LABEL IDENTITY DISCOURSE. whether you are young or old, on tumblr or another site, things will just get confusing and weird. if you learn something here that makes you feel affirmed, great! but also please make sure your interaction with fellow queers (or other neurodivergent people) is not limited to just this site. get involved with a local or school lgbtq center if you can, get to know queer people in your life or queer spaces if you can. (and if you can't - go read about queer history somewhere other than tumblr. do research, watch movies and documentaries. look into disability organizing and history outside this hellsite). Label discourse is also how many unknowing queers and others get recruited to T*RFy shit unknowingly so....be careful out there.

Don't get guilted into things on your dashboard. You should definitely care about the things people are talking about, but you don't have to know about every ill happening in the world at once to be a good person. If you're feeling lost, or hopeless and endlessly scrolling or feel guilted by people online, pick ONE thing you can do, for people in your local community, and then just make a reasonable effort to stay informed otherwise.

create an original tag for your "original" posts, aka the posts you make that aren't reblogs, so you can look at them later

explore the QUEUE FUNCTION! you don't have to use it, nobody cares if you reblog spam, but sometimes it's fun!

Don't know who to follow? Go follow the tags of things you like (TV shows, movies, musicians, aesthetics, whatever!), and suggested posts will pop up on your feed, or you can go through the tag and follow some people who look interesting

[saintsenara]

Wood/Flint has me considering other changing room ships…sports films make for the best romcoms

Cormac/Ron

The chaser trio of Johnson/Bell/Spinnet

Zacharias Smith/Ginny

Lee Jordan vs Luna Lovegood in the commentary box

Snape/McGonagall after Gryffindor narrowly loses the cup to Slytherin in dubious circumstances…

Cedric/Krum (can’t be outdone on a broom by a scrawny 14 year old who can’t see, must meet for extra practice)

Hooch/Voldemort (a tryst that goes so badly wrong Voldemort immediately sets his mind to broomless flight)

thank you very much for the ask, anon! in the spirit of the euros, let's get into some quidditch team shenanigans.

cormac mclaggen/ron weasley

yes, i love this toxic mess.

mclaggen was definitely into ron - how else would he know that he was poisoned [and why's he waiting for harry to update him on ron's condition! very suspicious!] if he wasn't constantly watching him?

katie bell/angelina johnson/alicia spinnet

yes. it's why wood is so frightened of them.

zacharias smith/ginny weasley

i've clocked it myself:

ginny clearly loves a man who is deeply offputting [all my love to hazza p, but the man is surly], and zacharias has that in spades.

lee jordan/luna lovegood

flopping, i fear, since lee clearly needs a lover with great chat, rather than luna's inability to sustain a conversation for more than three sentences because she's nonsensical and vague.

but i'd read the shit out of luna/mcgonagall.

minerva mcgonagall/severus snape

i'm a great fan of the pairing in general, and that doesn't change in this specific circumstance.

snape ends up pinned against one of the bookcases in the staff room after he was taunting mcgonagall by drinking whisky out of the quidditch cup.

topless.

cedric diggory/viktor krum

hot.

cedric and krum seem to figure out the eggs at the same time, and i think we all know that this is because they were "working on the clues" nightly in the prefect bathroom.

rolanda hooch/lord voldemort

those of us with the [mis]fortune to be in bellamort nation have, of course, deeped that lord voldemort has a latent interest in being bossed around by women with cunty demeanours, so this initially looks like it would slap.

not so! because lord voldemort is also carrying around a bag of mammy issues which would make sigmund freud himself say "bit much, mate..."

according to her entry on the harry potter fandom wiki, hooch is about ten years older than tom riddle. and so - i wager - her first year teaching was his first year at hogwarts, she strutted into the first flying lesson in head-to-toe leather, wee tom accidentally called her "mum", abraxas malfoy pissed himself laughing, lord voldemort never got on a broom again.

[fractualized]

hi!! i hope you don’t mind me asking this but i recently read harleen (specifically issue 1) and wondered if you might know of any other comics that have an outsider perspective of batjokes? thanks !!

I don't mind at all, anon! I also enjoy in-universe outside perspectives on Batman and Joker's relationship (and I've included quite a bit of it in fic). Harleen #1 does have a pretty great one:

The most common commentary on Batman and Joker from other characters is the ol' "why haven't you killed him yet?!" but that reflects more frustration than any inkling of the connection between Gotham's most famous nemeses. So with the help of @distort-opia, I wrangled panels from a couple dozen comics that show characters having a better (even if incomplete) understanding of what the heck is going on there.

Many of these may already be familiar if you've been around batjokes fandom long enough. Regardless, spoilers abound!

I've ordered these (mostly) in cover date order.

June 1996 - The Batman Chronicles #5

This is a flashback that takes place shortly after The Killing Joke. Barbara is understandably bitter about being fridged, and it's clear that officers who saw Batman and Joker laughing together have spread the word, because heyyyyy wtf?

October 1996 - Catwoman (1993) #38

Selina knows releasing other rogues is a good distraction; Batman is always more concerned about Joker than her.

May 1997 - Batman: Batgirl

Before this, Joker was firing his gun willy-nilly, hitting his own men, and he hit Batman accidentally. Barbara doesn't seem to think he fully understands the consequences of killing Batman, especially given the surprise he shows when Batman goes down.

Five years later, this story gets retold (with a worse rendition of Joker's fantastic oufit):

July 2002 - DC First: Batgirl/Joker 

In this version, Barbara more actively realizes she needs to get at Joker by laughing at him, because he's caught up in a reality where Batman is the only other real person. (Not sure if this is the first comic to posit that idea, but it has shown up elsewhere.)

February 1999 - Catwoman (1993) #65

Joker has been terrorizing Catwoman for Batman-related reasons for a few issues, and she knows that saying she's killed Batman will devastate him. (You know, the more stories like this I see, the more I see Tom King actually didn't have too far a walk to jokerize Selina.)

August 2001 - Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight (1989) #144

Alfred has noticed that Joker's presence affects Bruce's behavior. 

September 2003 - Batman: Gotham Knights #43

This take from Barbara is set before TKJ and meant to foreshadow (aftershadow?) it. Here she shows a better understanding of Batman and Joker's relationship than Bruce does.

October 2003 - Outsiders (2003) #3

Luthor knows just how to get under Joker's skin.

March 2011 - Streets of Gotham #19

Hush also knows how to get under Joker's skin.

March 2011 - Gotham City Sirens #19 

Selina and Harley are thinking more about themselves here, but it's not hard to connect the dots. Joker is part of the criminal morass that Bruce is focused on fighting, and Joker's focus is constantly on how to best the Batman.

November 2011 - Batman: Noël

Bruce has been told that Catwoman has information about the Joker's whereabouts. Note that Selina isn't saying she's aware that Joker is up to something right now; she implies that Batman is always thinking about Joker. It's a fact she can bank on.

May 2013 - Injustice: Gods Among Us #4 (digital release #11) 

Perhaps the most infamous example. This is related to the "why won't you kill him?" trope, but Clark's accusation takes it further by directly saying it's because Bruce loves fighting Joker more than he loves his friends and family.

Clark says something similar about Joker being Bruce's playmate in another comic:

August 2014 - Adventures of Superman (2013) #14 (digital release #41

Even outside of the Injustice universe, Clark knows Bruce's priorities are out of whack when it comes to Joker.

January 2013 - Catwoman (2011) #14

Selina just stating the obvious here, again after a now-faceless Joker has tormented her for Batman-related reasons for a couple issues.

April 2016 - Batman (2011) #49

Heartbreaking example from Alfred here. He watched Bruce's obsessiveness and understood that Bruce, consciously or subconsciously, saw dying with Joker as his destiny. He probably suspects that Joker didn't really die either and knows they're going to end up back on the same track.

April 2016 - Batman: Europa #4

These panels sum up Europa. Bane, always looking for fresh ways to break the Bat, saw Joker as a clear catalyst (even if he had to make up a convoluted plot to make Batman see it first).

January 2017 - All-Star Batman #4 (backer)

Duke is pretty much repeating Bruce's soliloquy from Death of the Family here, so he's not saying anything Bruce doesn't really know, but he doesn't know that Bruce knows. lol Interestingly, this happens before Dark Days: The Casting, in which Duke watches Joker demonstrate his love in a more positive way by trying to stop Bruce from blundering into everything that happens in Dark Nights: Metal and beyond.

January 2018 - Batman: White Knight #2

White Knight is problematic from a batjokes standpoint (and other standpoints!) but poor Harley presents another infamous outsider perspective here.

October 2018 - Harley/Gossamer Special

She's right and right to say it!

August 2020 - Birds of Prey (2020) 

This take is interesting in how it posits that Joker already felt unfulfilled by Batman by the time he met Harley and that she was kind of a rebound.

August 2020 - The Joker 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular

This is from "The Last Smile," in which Harley reveals Joker's recurring nightmare about Batman mocking him as he's put to death. Joker didn't picture Harley appearing to save him, but perhaps he felt like Batman's respect was "saving" him all the long.

September 2020 - Batgirl (2016) #47

Nooooo! That's the thing he's sensitive about!

April 2021 - Batman/Catwoman #3

I have… a lot of thoughts about Batman/Catwoman, few positive, but if you can push past the muddling storytelling technique (and the batcat if that's not your thing), Selina has a lot to say about Bruce and Joker's relationship, like in this and the following example.

May 2021 - Batman/Catwoman #4

Catwoman describes how Batman treats all his rogues and then equates that with how he treats his lovers. How much do you know, Selina? Who is Joker's main competition?? It's Harvey, isn't it?!

May 2022 - Detective Comics (2016) #1058 (backer)

Even newbie F-level antagonists like The Forgotten know what's up!

Well, that was a lengthy but surely not exhaustive account of what other DC characters think about the vibes between the Dark Knight and Clown Prince of Crime. (May they be bewildered for years to come!) I hope you spotted some comics that caught your interest, anon.

[wannaeatramyeon]

Hello love you're work! (Please eat and drink!)

May I request taehun with a Yor forger?

reader?

(Please feel free to ignore this!)

<3

THANK YOU ANON. YOU STAY HEALTHY TOO!

This ask... You're killing me. I have NO idea what Yor Forger is. I thought it was a misspell of something to do with a forager 💀 I did a quick read of her Wiki and uhhhh. I think I get it? Sorta? Im so sorry I did try 😩

HCs and dumbing it down to focusing on characteristics because I don't know the character.

Seong Taehoon x Reader: Yor Forger-ish type S/O hc

Reader characteristics: Aloof, not great social skills, murder-happy, intelligent but little common sense, very gullible, little insecure

Taehoon sees a bit of himself in you, that plus the mystery of your general aura compells him to find out more.

Turns out the mystery is just that you're a little odd. But your underlying kindness and preference for violent tendencies suckers him in.

And heavens above are you both a dangerous duo. You might be a little bit more... mild-mannered than your boyfriend but people initially tiptoe around the both of you in case they get their ass kicked.

Seriously, what a match made in heaven. If you two can just keep to yourselves and away from general society that would be much appreciated.

You may be able to punch Taehoon into next week, but being with you actually brings out his more protective side.

Once they get to know you, you're an easy target for some of the company's (and less well-meaning people's *coughGYEOULcough*) pranks. You don't really understand what's going on and your boyfriend has to reluctantly step in and tell them to piss off.

Honestly sometimes Taehoon gets a little exasperated with you. You seem intelligent enough but the questions you come out with. How did you get so far in life with your gullibility? How do you fall for the bullshit?

It gets to the point that he becomes a bit wary and anxious when he's not around you. And tbh that's not the way he operates. Thankfully over time you get better and it's not a moment too soon.

Absolutely loves sparring with you. Sure he would sulk if you get some hits in or win, but it's a way for him to get better. The fact that you're pretty tough with amazing durability? He doesn't need to hold back. It's SO refreshing to spar with a partner as an equal.

Seeing you in a proper fight though? He will gladly stand aside and cheer for you. Throw out cocky remarks and commentary that will guarantee to make you laugh. To Taehoon, you beating people up? There is possibly nothing sexier.

Despite initial misgivings, you and Gyeoul are very close. She sees you as a big sister. Loves how bloodthirsty you get. And the way you're so easily fooled? You're never sure if Gyeoul is laughing with you or at you but you're happy that she's laughing at all.

Your friendship causes Taehoon a bit of a headache but at least he knows that Gyeoul will cut the bullshit and look after you. The one with the full blown migraine would actually be Wangguk.

[snap-oversteer]

Is there any things you recommend to start learning about cars? Especially from a complete beginner standpoint

hi hi hi anon!! first of all thank you so much for asking this question and second of all: I binge youtube, and go to car shows. And play videogames.

A little bit of (disclaimer?) info is that I was never really allowed to do anything in my life, and that included driving and working on anything mechanical. We're still in that phase of getting out this box and branching out, so in a sense, we're both beginners on this together :)

Youtube - So there's a lot of youtube channels out there that talk about cars (and of course other automotives) my picks are the really silly funny ones. I personally watch MartiniWorks, spearheaded by Alex Martini. This channel is mainly focused on history and drama and of course useless fun facts about cars I wish I can afford. He has builds like the junkyard Ferrari and racetrack S2000 that keeps blowing up in retaliation against the government - Hmm, not into the history aspect of things? Want something more hands-on? Still want it to be silly so it doesn't bore you to death? Look no further than Garbage Time ! This channel is focused on mainly restoring weird little creatures and the video lengths are not too terribly long to make you wish you were in math class instead. Things to expect: trying to run the engine with chocolate / WD40, replacing the coolant with Pepsi, and restoring weird goobers you've never seen in your life. - What if you have a car and want to work on it? Getting serious about it? Then I must introduce you to every car guy's holy grail, CHRISFIX. This channel is all about the specifics and step-by-steps on how to destroy modify your car. Or maybe you just like the guy. Or like knowing how people work on cars. Either way, ChrisFix is a wonderful channel if you're interested in actually working on cars! - "But I like experimental vehicles and racing and cool expensive builds!" We have a classic for you, then! TopGear showcases the latest and greatest of cars, from the Tuthill GT ONE road legal Le Mans race car to the Bentley Blower, if you're one to simply appreciate great pieces of work, or you're a history nerd with a knack for enjoying sarcastic commentary, you're looking at the right channel.

Car shows / meets - My first experience with cars was a car show I went to by myself. The show included supercars, built JDMs, local cars, bikes... pretty much everything you'd expect out of a car show. I even have a tumblr sideblog where I post my photography. My tip when going to shows is don't be afraid to ask around! Car guys are simple people. You can come up to them and say that you're just starting out and would like a little explanation on what's going on with the car in front of you, they'll be more than happy to entertain you! You'll even make friends along the way :) There's different things to expect when going to a show vs a meet, I recommend going to shows rather than meets because meets are more closed and most likely held just amongst people who own said cool cars.

Videogames - Videogames remain a great way to learn and be accustomed to cars, and there's a lot of titles out there like NFS, Burnout, Gran Turismo, etc... so which one is for you? - Most mainstream racing games like NFS and Forza Horizon focuses on the gaming aspect of things. If you're looking for something uncomplicated and fun, those games are the way to go. - Lets get a little bit technical. Wanna learn how to build an engine, but you don't want to ruin your own? Car Mechanic Simulator. I'll admit this isnt the most detailed, theres so many things going on with a car and so many different platforms and complications, but from a learning standpoint? Really great if you're just getting into it or want to learn names of different parts effectively! - Ohh. Maybe you're that type of person. Experimental tuning and racing person. Assetto Corsa / Competizione, iRacing, Gran Turismo is for you, buddy. There is a steep learning curve that will force you to learn about different specs and how they affect the car holistically, and if you're into that, then I don't see why not.

Honorable mentions - [HOONIGAN] for very insane car builds. - eletor for really cinematic drift vids. - Misha Charoudin if you want to know what it's like driving a performance vehicle around nurburgring.

And REMEMBER, have fun! Everyone develops a taste in cars differently, some like muscle, some like JDMs (like us). There is no right or wrong way to enjoy cars.

I've only been into them for about 2 years, let's go insane together.

[theelvenhaven]

Wedding Night Nerves

Caranthir x Reader

2.1k words

Request: I'm do happy requests are open! I love your blog so much! I wanted to Caranthir, it's not really nsfw but whatever you're comfortable with. It's their first time, basically wedding night and Caranthir - despite in love with them - is still afraid of rejection beside of his skin. Reader coos and kisses and caresses his skin, letting him they love him. If you could thank you!

A/N: Hey anon I was happy to do this! Anything for Carnistir I love him so much. Hope this is what you were looking for it kind of goes into NSFW territory. But not too heavily.

Warnings: NSFWish

* * *

Everything had gone so smoothly. 

The feast in which was held in yours and Carnistir’s honor, to celebrate the nuptials in which you two shared. The exchanging of rings, the festivities that came with it. You and Carnistir sharing in dances, and smiles and laughs. The whole family celebrating- both yours and his. It was a full wedding day teeming with cousins, siblings, aunts and uncles from both sides of the family. 

Toasts had been made, even from the most unlikely of people such as Curufinwe and Tyelkormo who had nice things to add and welcoming you into the family. While Tyelkormo wasn’t one for speeches he managed to get it out coherently and without adding an inappropriate joke or two. 

The celebration had gone on for a long time, yet by the time it came for it to end, you were ready to spend the night alone with your husband. And Carnistir was clearly feeling the same way, as you two were the first to depart from the wedding festivities. Being sent off in a hail of rose petals as you two left the great hall of the Feanorian home. 

Now you were grateful when Carnistir shut the bedroom door and it was just the two of you alone finally. Both of you wearing a smile on your face and Carnistir’s face was rosier than it had been earlier. The realization settling in of what was to come next- the consummation of your marriage. One that would bind your fea together and you could be one with one another. 

“I am glad today went so smoothly, I was surprised your brothers gave us the opportunity to have a calm and collected day.” You laughed out softly as you moved to slip your shoes off in the corner of the room. You heard Carnistir snort at your words as he mirrored your actions, 

“Atar must’ve made a threat of some kind, though I could see how Tyelko was bursting at the seams at his speech to say something inappropriate about our wedding night.” Carnistir added with a little bit of snark, it wasn’t a secret to him when Tyelkormo was holding back. And to Carnistir he looked like he might implode on himself if he didn’t get the speech over with when he did. There would be lots of inappropriate commentary from him later. 

You only laughed at his words, knowing there was truth to it after being with Carnistir for so long you knew his brothers well enough as well. 

“Yes he did look a little… constipated during the speech.” You chuckled, as the two of you moved towards the bed, Carnistir being the first to sit down on it as you stood before him. He took the time to sit in silence for a moment and admire how beautiful you looked in your wedding attire. 

How he looked forward getting to know you intimately, peeling away those decorative robes and layers of lace and silk. Pulling the flower crown off your hair and laying you back… Carnistir had dreamed of being able to have this moment with you, so when you came to move closer he spread his legs to let you stand fully in front of him. 

“But enough about him… I want to focus more on you, meldanya.” You whispered to him, as you bent over pressing your forehead to his. Carnistir smiled softly to himself, before he angled his head up, letting his nose brush against yours and his lips coming to press against yours. 

It was like all the other times he kissed you, it was sweet and slow… Though this time Carnistir started to put more passion behind his kisses. Passion that was pent up since the start of your courtship because he wanted to do things right with you, because you deserved it. He brought a hand to your waist and pulled you in closer and steadily he laid back, pulling you on top of him. 

His tongue light licking your bottom lip and you hummed in response at the feel of it, feeling a fluttering in your stomach before you granted him entrance into your mouth. Carnistir had never tasted sweeter until now, and you moaned softly as his tongue met yours curling around it as you two kissed. 

You felt a pulse of pleasure run through you as you felt Carnistir use his strength to shift you both more comfortably on the bed. You couldn’t wait to see how all that muscle and strength could be put to such good use. His lips never leaving yours, and his trousers becoming a bit tighter at the sound of your beautiful moan. 

Carnistir wanted to hear more, desperately. He wondered about all the things he could do to you all night long that would make you moan like that, or make any other pretty sounds. At that he rolled you both over, his lips parting from yours to see your face flushed and your lips a little swollen. 

“You look beautiful…” He murmured out before dipping his head down to come and kiss your jaw, his lips trailing down towards your neck. Leaving open mouthed kisses, lightly licking against your pulse, making you shudder as you tilted your head back to grant him more access. Your hands came to his shoulders, caressing towards his chest and coming to the buttons of his white tunic. 

Desiring to feel his skin underneath your fingertips for a change, not wishing for clothes to inhibit more than what they were. 

Carnistir was distracted as he kissed your neck, listening to your little gasps as he nipped at your throat. Your fingers fumbling some but undoing the first button, and then the next before Carnistir’s lips came back to meet yours, resting on his forearm. You spread your legs wider to accommodate, and felt his erection pressing against you. 

Your hands continued at their task, trying not to get too distracted unbuttoning his tunic, when suddenly you felt Carnistir freeze in his kiss. His body tensing and a hand reflexively shot out to grab one of yours, making you in turn freeze too as you felt a shift. 

He had no idea what came over him suddenly, until the idea of you seeing him shirtless came to mind… Let alone bare. Carnistir wanted to be one with you, but suddenly his nerves were sky high and he feared that once you saw him shirtless…. Saw the extent of his freckles and his redness… That you’d reject him. 

That you would be disgusted by him and that you would want to go back on everything that happened here today. 

“Carnistir?” You whispered out to him softly and he didn’t answer you, only climbing off of you rather quickly and turning his back to you. You began to panic, wondering if you had done something wrong. Did he think this was a mistake?

Oh Eru… You thought wondering if he wanted to go back on everything that had happened today and annul the marriage entirely. You felt tears spring to your eyes but you tried to quell them, because you didn’t know what was wrong. You were only making assumptions and you didn’t things to be irreparable until you had an answer from him. 

“Carnistir what’s wrong?” You pressed again, and you heard him take a shaky sigh, watching him run a hand through his hair, before you noticed he was clutching his chest. Holding his tunic closed, he just knew you would reject him if you saw it… he didn’t know how on earth the marriage night could proceed now. 

“I-I’m sorry.” Carnistir managed out, and he sounded almost bitter, but you knew well enough by now that it wasn’t aimed at you… Was he angry with himself? You wondered and it settled your nerves a little bit. You knew how he could be when he was waging war with himself,

“I can’t… I can’t…” He said softly, almost pained and this time you sat up, getting off the bed and approaching. There was more happening here than him rejecting you and you knew that now, hearing the self directed bitterness, the pain in his voice. This was about him, it wasn’t about you and now you felt better knowing he wasn’t rejecting you. 

“Meldanya, what is the matter?” You asked as you moved to approach him, and slowly he turned to look at you, and you could see where his hands held his half open tunic shut. His silver eyes half meeting yours before they met the ground, his face was cherry red going all the way up to the tip of his ears. 

Carnistir was quiet for a long moment, closing his eyes like he was pained to have to admit what was wrong with him and why he was…. Hesitant. Which was a mild way of putting his reaction. 

“It is nothing you’ve done…” Carnistir whispered out to you, looking at you with knitted brows and a frown pulling at his lips before he looked away again. Hesitantly you approached him, letting your hand come out to touch his shoulder. You felt him tense underneath your touch again but you didn’t feel him pull away. 

“Then what is it, meldanya. You can tell me, I am sure whatever it is we can work through it.” You assured him with a warm smile, hoping to help put him at ease and help him open up. You wanted your wedding night to be an enjoyable one for you both, but it was clear his nerves were getting the better of him. 

He was quiet for a long moment, watching you as you came to stand in front of him. Your hands coming to his shoulders where you rubbed affectionately, hoping to soothe his nerves and help him relax under your touch. It seemed like it was working as his shoulders sagged some as he took a breath. Finally mustering up the courage to speak to you about what was on his mind. 

“What if… you don’t like what you see?” Carnistir revealed to you and suddenly it all clicked. He nervous about you seeing his skin, that was why he had reacted the way that he had. You gave him a gentle smile, 

“Of course I will like what I see, melda.” You answered him softly as you gently reached for the hand clutching his tunic tightly. Slowly as you moved to take his hand away, Carnistir complied, letting you pull his hand away and his half undone tunic began to fall open. 

“If I didn’t love you, all of you, I would not have agreed to marry you, Carnistir.” You said to him in a soft voice, letting your eyes trail to his muscular chest and you could see red splotchy patches on his skin. But it didn’t detract from his beauty in the least bit, if anything you were eager to see more of his beautiful skin. 

“May I?” You asked softly when your hand came down to the buttons of his tunic and there was a moment of silence between the two of you. Slowly he nodded his head, taking a deep breath especially as your fingers brushed against his skin as you began to undo the rest of the buttons. 

You were quiet as the tunic began to fall open the rest of the way, exposing his more muscular physique, and you brought your hands to gently touch his abdomen. Feeling it flex at your cooler touch before you brought the other hand over, sliding it up his stomach, and towards his chest and too his shoulders.

“You can tell me to stop.” You assured him as you paused just at his shoulders, and when he said nothing, gently you pushed the tunic down his arms. There was a long moment of silence as you began to drink in the sight of his bare chest, splotched with red and freckles. And you couldn’t see how any of him wasn’t just absolutely perfect. You began to smile before you leaned forward to press a kiss to his clavicle and press yourself against him. 

“You are beautiful melda.” You whispered softly against his skin, and Carnistir flushed at your words. Shivering at your caressing hands, but tongue tied on being able to say anything on the matter, overwhelmed that you found him to be beautiful despite his difference in skin. 

You tilted your head up from your spot on his chest, your nose brushing against his and a smile playing on your lips, especially as you heard the shaky exhale of your husband. 

“It’s only fair you see more of me too… Come, help me out of my clothes.” You whispered to him, your lips centimeters from his, barely brushing against soft ones. 

It was all the motivation that Carnistir needed before he pressed his lips right into yours again, with unbridled passion, making you hum. You certainly couldn’t wait for what was to come. 

* * *

Tags: @saviorsong @lilmelily @dicksoutformtl @fandomhoe101 @celebrimbor-telperinquar @red-riding @miriel-estelwen @ta-ka-shi-ma @nerdysimpy @thegirlwithoutaname87 @anunexpectedsideblog @spidergirla5 @eunoiaastralwings @eternalabysss @noldorinpainter