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nightdiary · 2 months

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first dates with enhypen

word count: 5.4k genre: fluff, gender neutral reader, suggestive bits in jake's and hoon's but nothing too crazy imo author's note: been wanting to write more for enha so this was born... i am down bad for all of them i fear ): also it was almost too easy to get carried away in some spots but i didn't! i'm thinking of making more specific and individual bf posts for each of the members... saving my juicier ideas for then 🤍 as always, feedback is appreciated greatly<3!!!

✧ heeseung - tinder date

you have a routine with all of your tinder dates. after three months on the app, you’d learned how to cycle through the guys quick enough so as not to waste a minute on someone who you didn’t see fitting into your life.

there are three stages to the cycle: one, they had to pass the initial profile check. simple enough, and yet most failed right at the beginning. half-naked photo holding a fish? swipe left. in a douche-baggy frat you’d never heard of? swipe left. 27, not sure what he’s looking for, and republican? hard swipe left.

the second and third stages took the longest, but that’s when the disappointment came in. after a few days of texting, the inevitable message about meeting in person would come. if the guy seemed normal enough, you’d agree, and finally meet. you’d build up the moment in your head and pick out a cute outfit and dance excitedly in your room beforehand, going through the possible conversation starters you could use if it got awkward.

you’d sit through a date with them and wait to be asked questions, wait for them to express some sort of interest in you as a person, but it would never come. instead, you would sit and listen to them harp about themselves for hours. every time, without fail, it was almost as if they didn’t care enough that you were there.

then, they’d presumptuously ask if you wanted to come home with them and, well, your decision couldn’t be clearer.

as much as you hated generalizing, the men from your tinder dates were proving to be pretty shit. they looked good on paper, but when it came down to dating you, they fucking sucked. and you were beginning to lose hope.

you’d sworn that you would take on one last date before deleting the forsaken app. lee heeseung is everything you’re looking for in a man, and you think it’s a wonder he matched with you instantly. the texts you exchange pass your perception of normal, and before you know it, he’s proposing you meet up at a japanese restaurant downtown.

you find yourself sitting across from a man you think god sent as an apology for all of the other 4 billion and some men.

“you are suspiciously perfect,” you frown, squinting at your date across the table. “like it’s weirding me out. what is wrong with you, lee heeseung?”

“quite a lot actually,” he jokes, “but my mom says i’m a good boy. i’d trust her, if i were you.”

snorting, you reach to snatch the last dumpling with your chopsticks. heeseung’s grab the dumpling before yours do, but he’s quick to place it onto your plate and tell you he’ll order more. as he politely calls the waitress over and thanks her when she brings over a new plate of dumplings, you can’t help but think you’re fucked. either your standards are low, or heeseung is just one remarkable man.

but as the afternoon progresses, you begin to lean towards the latter. heeseung takes a genuine interest in your hobbies and work, asking you thought-provoking and personal questions that don’t toe the line of being intrusive and passive-aggressive. you realize that this is the first date you’ve been on where you’ve talked so much, and it feels so weird to not spend the entirety of your date looking forward to going home.

“i think i’ve found out what’s wrong with you,” you tell him once both of you are standing outside of the restaurant. heeseung had paid for the bill no questions asked, and when you’d gotten up to shrug your coat on, you realized with a start that the sky outside was pitch black.

as heeseung hums unassumingly and fixes you with a questioning look, you grin and say, “you hate mint chocolate. you’re a walking red flag, lee heeseung.”

your date bursts out into laughter and shakes his head. the wide smile stays on his face as he offers his arm to you, bringing you close to his side when you take it. “fine, you’ve got me there. can i at least walk you to your bus stop before you block me?”

you pretend to think about it, tapping your chin with your forefinger, before sighing and agreeing with a matching smile. your walk to the stop takes you through a busy central street that’s alive in the early evening, and you can’t help but press yourself closer to heeseung. he steers the two of you through the crowds with relative ease, and you somehow manage not to bump into anyone for the entirety of the walk, all thanks to him.

as you sit on the bench together and wait for your bus to show up, you use the cold as an excuse to huddle up to heeseung’s side. he laughs again, a lilting noise that tugs at your heartstrings, and you quickly realize you’ve gotten yourself in far too deep from the first date.

you have to move off his shoulder when he begins taking his jacket off. confused, you watch as he drapes the material over your back and urges you to slip your arms in through the sleeves so he can zip it up. you notice your bus rolling up to the curb and panic, turning to heeseung with a frown.

“don’t worry about it,” he reassures you. kissing your cheek sweetly, he helps you get up and walks you toward the bus door. “you have to walk home from the bus, i don’t want you getting cold. just give it to me on our next date, yeah?”

stunned, you nod shyly and step into the bus. as you scan your card and take a seat next to the window, you peer outside and grin when you find heeseung waiting to wave goodbye. he’s a bit blurry because the glass has fogged up from the heat, but you can make out the way his face softens when you trace a heart into the window.

with the promise of a second date and heeseung’s cozy coat on your shoulders, you begin making your way home, feeling oddly warm and thrilled beyond belief.

maybe tinder had finally worked out in your favor. you’d make sure to leave a 5 star review when you got home.

✧ jay - rollerskating rink

for what it’s worth, you weren’t the one that chose the location for your first date.

you’d left the decision up to jay, who, in all of his dependable glory, seemed to have chosen the worst possible location– at least for him.

“jay?” you call to the panting boy behind you. “are you sure you’re okay? we can always go sit down for a bit and come back later.”

your date shakes his head adamantly and pushes himself forward using the railing, scrunching his eyes shut like he’s anticipating another fall. he looks awfully adorable in the hot pink skates that the rink had lent him, even if he’s faring worse than a newborn deer with them on. the juxtaposition of his carefully crafted and sophisticated outfit with the cartoonish design of the skates is oddly endearing to you.

“wow, i really thought this looked harder than it actually was,” jay pauses by the railing, leaning down to rub at his ankle with a pained expression. “these skates are beating my ass.”

“why’d you choose this place if you’ve never been rollerskating before?” you can’t help but ask.

“okay, don’t laugh,” jay warns, avoiding your curious eyes. his cheeks are all red as he continues to massage his ankle, and you doubt it’s entirely because he’s exhausted from skating. “your best friend told me you like to come here a lot, but that you never have someone to go with. figured i’d be that person for you, even if i suck a lot.”

the thought of jay willingly sacrificing his comfort and the wellbeing of his ankles for you makes you feel warm all over. you help him stand up and regain his balance without relying on the rail, leaning up to press a soft kiss to his cheek as encouragement. poor unsuspecting jay crumbles down immediately after, clutching onto the rail for support. you can’t help but laugh, though it isn’t unkind.

“just know i appreciate all of your sacrifices,” you tell him. offering your hand, you pull him up and continue to hold on to him as you lightly push backwards with your skates. “we can go slow, i’ll teach you some basic moves to get you moving around on your own.”

jay gulps but nods nonetheless, staggering forward after you. it’s relatively easy to keep him upright when you’re going at such a slow pace, his soft hands encased between the firm fingers of your own. you throw a look over your shoulder every now and then to make sure you don’t run into anyone, but the rink’s empty enough at this hour that you have enough space to move about freely with jay attached to you.

“bend your knees a little– yeah, that’s good, now glide forward one foot at a time, lean into your strides a bit,” you instruct, gaze focused on your date’s wobbly legs. the tight fitting jeans he’d worn are admittedly hot, but you feel a bit guilty thinking about jay’s thighs while he’s trying not to break the bones in them.

as soon as jay gets the basic motions down, you switch to skating side by side with him, your linked hands suspended between the two of you. he’s still slow and careful with his movements, but you can tell he’s fallen into a rhythm that works for him. you don’t mind having to inch your way across the rink with him. if anything, it’s nice having him by your side.

“i think this was just a big ploy to get me to hold your hand,” you tease.

jay flushes and, very tellingly, doesn’t say a word.

snickering, you begin to swing your hands between your bodies. jay’s hand is big and warm, and you don’t want to let go soon. “you should know i would’ve held your hand anyway. next time, let’s hold hands at a place that won’t break your tailbone.”

✧ jake - bowling

“you know what they say about men and bowling?”

“no, jake,” you deadpan. you knew exactly where this was going, and yet you still decide to give jake the satisfaction. something about being a good date, even if jake has always been a friend you’d teased first and foremost. “what do they say?”

“they’re either good in bed or at bowling,” jake steps back from the lane and looks over his shoulder to wink at you. his arm swings back an exaggerated amount as he walks toward the foul line, sending the ball rolling onto the wood with zero coordination. it immediately goes towards the gutter. “these are mutually exclusive, scientifically proven.”

but in all of jake’s infinite luck, the ball veers towards the middle at the very last minute, hitting the front-most pin and knocking down the rest in succession. above you, the screen plays a cute animation of bowling pins running away from the ball, only to be smothered with a large neon text spelling out STRIKE! in bold letters.

“oh this is so bad for you,” you bite back the urge to laugh. jake’s mortified face turns towards you and you almost lose it at the sight of his heartbroken expression. “you’ve got another turn, by the way. let’s see if you can get a double, babe.”

jake’s next ball ends up in the gutter and he cheers loudly, earning him very confused looks from the kids in the lane next to you. one of them offers their dinosaur bowling ramp to help jake out, but he kindly turns them down and tells them he’s trying to let you win.

unfortunately for the both of you, you don’t hold up too great score-wise either. even with your one lucky spare and otherwise average abilities, jake ends up winning by 20 whole points, a feat he doesn’t seem too keen on celebrating. the light in your lane turns off after the round is over, and jake proposes you two get some well-deserved food.

“do you think this is a lame date?” he asks you once you’ve sat down at one of the plastic benches. you instantly frown at the question and reach out to spear a handful of fries with your fragile plastic fork.

“don’t worry, i think it’s sexy when men are good at sports,” you reassure him, “also it’s cute that you wanted to let me win. and that you bought me loaded fries with extra cheese. it’s super romantic.”

jake snorts, but you notice how his shoulders visibly relax at your words. navigating your friendship-turned-something-bigger was harder than you’d anticipated it would be, and acknowledging your reciprocated feelings was proving to be the easiest part.

you knew that jake was equally on edge about fucking this whole thing up. there was a lot more at stake here than with someone you hadn’t known for years prior. you were afraid of diving headfirst into something that could potentially rip away an important part of you, afraid that one wrong move would send jake tumbling out of your life. you had cherished him long before you had realized you loved him differently.

but as you watch jake chew through a forkful of fries, you realize that there’s nothing complicated about this. things have always been simple with him, and they’ll continue to be no matter if you’re dating or not.

“cmon, next round is on me,” you stand up and wipe the last of the cheese from your mouth. “if you can beat me again, i’ll consider letting you prove that silly bowling theory wrong to me.”

the speed at which jake gets up is dizzying. he’s at the counter paying before you can even catch up to him, sliding a few bills over to the employee and turning to you with a playful grin. “we’re at lane 7, babe. go get warmed up.”

✧ sunghoon - laser tag

your heart is racing so fast you can feel it in your head. clutching the plastic gun to your chest, you press yourself closer to the wall and still your breathing. the red light on your heavy vest has stopped blinking, meaning you’d recovered from the last hit, but you know you can’t risk running just yet.

the undeniable sound of footsteps creeping closer makes you inch toward the corner of the wall, where you know sunghoon is waiting for you. you bite your lip and tense your finger on the trigger, peering over the bricks that are obscuring your vision.

surely enough, even in the darkness of the laser tag arena, you can make out sunghoon’s determined face. he’s crouched down behind a beat-up car, wearily scanning the area. most likely looking for you, but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction just yet.

the blue on his vest has dimmed down– you’d hit him several times earlier and knew this was probably one of his last lives left. your own indicator showed that your lives were also running low, and based on how exhausted you felt, you knew you couldn’t have much time left from the round. you had to move in soon, or risk tying with sunghoon.

in your case, you thought that would be worse than losing.

taking a deep breath, you lift your gun and peer around the corner one more time, and in the split second it takes for sunghoon to notice you, you manage to send a shot straight at his vest. but the light on his vest doesn’t budge, and as you realize you had horribly misaimed, your date takes the opportunity to aim at you properly.

your vest makes a video game-like noise of defeat and you feel your gun power down. you know you have to hide for the next minute to let it recharge, but as you spin around and try to figure out where to run toward, you notice sunghoon already closing in.

“such a shame,” he drawls, holding up his gun with a smirk. you frown, backing up until you feel your shoulders hit a concrete wall. sunghoon’s voice is quiet enough not to draw attention from your teammates, but it sends shivers down your spine nonetheless. “thought you’d finally beat me this round. what happened, babe?”

“i still have one more life left, don’t get all cocky.” you mumble, shaking your gun frustratedly. the minute needed to pass by quicker.

looking over his shoulder, you realize with a frown that you’re in quite possibly the most secluded part of the arena. there’s no hope calling out for help or trying to make a run for it.

sunghoon squints down at your indicator and moves in even closer. you feel your breath quicken when the front of his vest hits yours, and you’re left caged in to stare up defiantly at him. he’s grinning at you like he’s already won.

“i’m not going to let you win,” you lean in toward him and whisper. sunghoon’s eyes flit toward your lips, and you try not to think about throwing your chances out the window and kissing him.

“you don’t have anywhere to run,” he places a hand next to your head on the wall, and to really drive the point home, you feel him press the muzzle of his gun against your side, where you know your sensor is. you’re pretty certain he can hear how fast your heart’s beating, and it makes you flush red from embarrassment. “you ready to admit defeat yet? or are you going to keep being stubborn?”

there’s no reason you should feel this lightheaded, but sunghoon’s so, so close to you that you can’t think properly. he’s practically pressed up against you, warm and solid and he’s barely a few centimeters away, and if you lean in just a bit more, you’ll be able to kiss him.

so that’s what you do.

“sure,” you say simply, and lean up to softly brush your lips against his. you grab at his neck with your free hand, bringing him flush against you so that you can fully slot your mouth with his. he’s surprised– you can tell from the way his gun clatters loudly to the floor next to you, and you try not to smile into the kiss.

seconds later, you distantly hear your gun make a familiar rebooting sound. you hold sunghoon firmly against you as you blindly aim your gun toward the sensor on his side, and with one last peck to the side of his mouth, you pull the trigger.

sunghoon’s vest goes dark. you don’t think he registers this, though, because he stares at you wide-eyed and adorably confused as you pull back from the kiss.

“i win,” you tease, and your date blinks down at his indicator.

“you win,” sunghoon affirms quietly. conveniently, the overhead lights turn on as the round draws to a close, and you can’t help but notice the way he’s reddened all over.

“victory kiss?”

✧ sunoo - picnic

ten minutes into your date with sunoo, you make the most devastating observation ever: sunoo has freckles.

they’re visible for only seconds at time, when the sun hits his face at just the right angle, but it still makes your breath catch in your throat every time you see them. they’re littered across his face like miniature stars, dipping across his cheeks in multitudes and scattering off toward his temples and brow bones.

your hands itch to reach out and trace them.

“–and then once we finally got to the place, it turned out to be super cute and they had some of the best lemonade i’ve ever had.” sunoo’s voice slowly trickles back into your ears, and you blink the world into focus once again.

you find your date looking at you with crinkled eyes, studying your features with amusement. almost like he knows exactly what’s been going through your mind.

“sorry,” you laugh sheepishly, reaching out to grab another chocolate-covered strawberry. sunoo had made them himself for the occasion, that much he’d eagerly disclosed within the first few minutes of the date, and you had found it too endearing for your poor heart. “i got distracted. what was this place called again?”

"auntie lim’s diner,” he answers slowly, smirking when you nod off-handedly. “hey, what’s on your mind?”

“lemonade,” you respond just a bit too quickly, face blanching when sunoo’s grin grows impossibly wider. whining and covering yourself with your hands, you try not to focus on the way his melodic laughter rings out like bells.

“lemonade, huh?” sunoo’s teasing is light-hearted, but that doesn’t stop your heart from leaping up into your throat. “was there some on my face? because you’ve been staring an awful lot for the past few minutes.”

groaning, you duck your head and try to focus on finishing your strawberry. you can feel the heat rise from your cheeks to your ears though, and are certain sunoo’s made note of this when he giggles and leans forward to get a better look at you.

“you’ve got freckles,” you mumble, picking at the leaves of the strawberry. when sunoo doesn’t respond for a while, you look up and bravely gesture toward his cheeks, pointing at where you’d seen the aforementioned spots with a shaky finger. “and like– it’s super cute. you’re super cute. but it caught me off-guard so, like. yeah. sorry for staring.”

sunoo hums. you can feel his eyes roving through your face, but you immediately look away once they finally meet yours. then, you feel something warm encasing your hand, and nearly jerk in surprise when your fingers come to brush against the soft skin of sunoo’s face moments later.

“don’t apologize,” he mumbles, leading your hand down the side of his cheek, where you’d pointed just seconds ago. “i’m really flattered you noticed. and you don’t have to be shy about stuff like this, i’d honestly be a bit worried if we were on a date and you didn’t find me attractive.”

reveling at the supple skin beneath your fingertips, you feel the weight ease off of your chest almost instantly. despite having known each other for a limited amount of time, sunoo’s come to be quick at recognizing when you feel out of place or uncomfortable, and he’s become too good at easing you back into safe waters. he’s too good to you.

“don’t get ahead of yourself,” you tease back instead, unable to handle the growing wave of emotions in you. “i only said your freckles were cute.”

sunoo looks up at you through his lashes, and your hand freezes where it’s fallen by his chin. flitting your eyes downwards, you watch his rosy lips part, almost like they want to voice your hidden intentions. gulping, you subconsciously feel yourself draw in closer, until you can feel his breath wash out against your cheeks like water on shore.

your heartbeat’s in your ears and sunoo’s pretty mouth is right there. glancing back up at his eyes, you notice that he’s also looking down at your lips, tracing the minuscule movement of your tongue peeking out to wet them.

he’s so close. you can almost just lean in a bit and–

“yeah? so then my second date invitation to auntie lim’s diner has been rejected?”

pausing, your eyes widen as you stare back at sunoo in bewilderment. he’s grinning at you slyly, the edges of his eyes crinkling with laughter as his whole body shakes with amusement. you can’t help the string of giggles that bubble out of you almost like second nature. it’s nice, you think, having someone like sunoo to laugh with.

“i mean, i guess i’ll have to try this lemonade you speak so highly of."

✧ jungwon - boba place

in retrospect, choosing a first date location for you and a total stranger was easier than you thought it would be. yang jungwon, as your best friend had briefly introduced him to you, seemed simple enough to enjoy normal things. you already had a place in mind before your friend showed you his photos, but you really couldn’t help it once you laid eyes on him.

“has anyone told you your eyes look like tapioca pearls?”

jungwon’s cat-like features curl in amusement and he pops his lips off of the boba straw. he chews through his last gulp, wiping at the droplet of milk tea that had trickled out onto his bottom lip. you follow the movement with your eyes, coughing when you absentmindedly swallow a pearl without chewing it fully.

“no, but should i take that as a compliment?” jungwon asks, passing you a napkin.

you take it and wipe at your own mouth, cheeks growing red out of embarrassment. “yeah. but now that i think about it, it does sound kind of weird. i don’t want to eat your eyes, i promise.”

jungwon laughs, mouth pulling into an endearingly wide grin. okay, your friend had definitely undersold him. jungwon was cute as fuck.

“why’d you choose a boba place, anyway?” he continues, fiddling with the cup in his hold. he’d finished his drink surprisingly fast, and you have half a mind to offer him some of your own. “not that i don’t like it. great choice, honestly. but why?”

you shrug. “the atmosphere is nice. and if you’re going to go on a date with someone you don’t know that much, might as well go somewhere you can talk. it would be pretty awkward to watch a movie with a stranger, don’t you think?”

jungwon nods seriously, hair bouncing along with his movements. “your friend was right about you being smart.”

“yeah?” now that you thought about it, you hadn’t considered how your best friend had sold you to jungwon. given that he’d agreed, you figured it must’ve been pretty alright. that, and the fact that it was your beloved best friend in question, you had no doubt you were probably oversold, if anything.

still, there was a nagging curiosity in your head that you couldn’t ignore. “what else was my friend right about?”

“that you’re easy to talk to, and that i’d feel comfortable around you,” jungwon muses, glancing down as he traces the rim of his plastic cup. he seems to be mulling over his next words carefully, lips twisted into a cute pout. “they also said that you were pretty. the photos they showed me really were great, but you’re even better in person. not that looks are the most important thing but, y’know. you’re a package deal, basically.”

you feel the way your ears burn red from his words, and you stutter your way through a shocked thank you. jungwon grins knowingly, but doesn’t comment on it further. instead, he asks you if you want to share one of the cake slices in the display window that you were eyeing earlier. you try not to look too eager as you nod, choosing to ignore jungwon’s mumble of cute as he walks away. for your well-being, of course.

jungwon returns with a slice of red velvet and two forks in hand. he waits for you to take the first bite before sinking his own fork into the cake. “your turn. what’d your friend tell you about me?”

you know you have to word your answer carefully, or else you worry you’ll come off as a weirdo. jungwon’s too good to chase off just yet, and you haven’t had this much luck with a date in a long while. or ever, you think.

“my friend told me that the most important things about you were that you’re a psychology major and that you look like that one campus cat,” you trail off, unsure, “charles? was that his name?”

jungwon barely manages to set his fork down before he’s bursting into laughter. you would think you’d said something wrong but his entire face is crinkled with amuse and you can’t help but join in on the giggling, ignoring the glaring teenagers from the table over.

“charlie, yes, of course i know him,” jungwon manages to squeeze in between giggles, “oh my god, i didn’t know people outside of my friend group knew about this joke."

“so you’re the cat that’s always hanging around the quad,” you say, dead-serious, and jungwon meows cutely as if to agree with you.

“okay, so,” he puts his hand up and begins listing off on his fingers, “i look like a boba ball, the infamous cat on our campus, and what else?”

“my next boyfriend,” you say before you can stop yourself, and you slap a hand over your mouth in surprise as your cheeks color in embarrassment.

jungwon grins. “that can be arranged.”

✧ niki - arcade

“okay, now i’m actually convinced you’re cheating,” niki whines loudly, letting go of the controller and slumping back in his seat with a pout.

the game you’ve been going at for the past half hour– a car racing game set in an alternate reality– dramatically replays the moment your character crossed the finish line and won. the stark contrast of the accompanying confetti on the screen next to niki’s misery makes you giggle, and you reach out to slip the tickets that the machine spits out into your backpack.

“will you feel better if i get you something with these?” shaking a strand of tickets enticingly, you watch as your date immediately sits up and abandons his sulking to nod at you eagerly.

the teenager working the prize desk looks at the two of you with such a deadpan expression you nearly mistake him for a robot. gathering your pile of tickets onto the counter, you look up at the various different stuffed animals and boxes on display, frowning once you notice the ticket prices taped onto them, denoted with far too many zeroes for your liking. almost like inflation’s gotten to the arcades as well.

“see anything you like?” you turn to niki, brushing your shoulder against his.

you watch him survey the different rows, expression growing grim once he comes to the same exact realization as you.

“um,” it’s almost comical how you can hear the frown in his voice. “actually nevermind, these prizes are crazy. holy shit, three thousand tickets for a snorlax plushie?”

“right!” you nod, ducking your head and stifling your laughter when the employee sighs out loudly.

with your meager six hundred and thirty-seven tickets, you and niki manage to get a handful of smaller, yet arguably better things: a sticky frog, two chinese finger traps, a whistle that sounds like duck quacks, and three boxes of different pocky flavors.

“i had no idea that coconut pocky existed,” you mumble in awe, reaching into the packet to draw out another stick. you observe it under the fading sunlight, popping it into your mouth with a happy hum.

after you and niki had spent your fortune of tickets, you’d decided to take your business elsewhere (or, alternatively: leave before the employee ended up kicking you out). you found yourselves on a bench right outside of said establishment, going through each of the prizes that you’d tucked away into your backpack.

“me neither, but i really like ‘em. here, have some of the mango ones,” niki holds out a second box towards you, and you eagerly reach in to pull out some of the sticks.

the sun’s begun to descend down the horizon, and you realize with a start that you’d managed to spend the entire day in the arcade with niki. the date seems to be drawing to an inevitable end, much to your disappointment, but you can’t help and savor the warm feeling that the day has left you with.

“it’s getting dark,” niki seems to read your thoughts. you hear shuffling and turn to see him stand up and collect his belongings, reaching out to offer his hand to you once he’s done. “i should walk you to your bus stop.”

staring up at him, you blurt, “do you want to go get a proper dinner instead?”

the words rush out of you before you can think, but no matter your shyness, you’re glad you’ve said them. niki’s surprised expression quickly morphs into something gentler, and he nods almost like he’s relieved. “oh thank god, i didn’t want to go home yet either.”

laughing, you take his hand and stand up from the bench you’d been sharing for the past hour. but even after he helps you up, niki doesn’t let go of your hand, instead threading his fingers through yours to hold you more comfortably.

you don’t say anything, but when niki looks over at you to make sure it’s okay, you smile at him brightly.

“so– fried chicken?”

547 notes · View notes

heavenlyvision · 2 months

Text

More than friends

Word Count: 21.9k

Pairing: Johnny Cage x F!Reader

Read part one ˗ˏˋhereˎˊ˗

A/N: Okie dokie ! It is finished,,, I hope you all enjoy it and that it lives up to your expectations. I apologise for it taking so long ! I've been struggling with motivation to write lately but I am pretty proud of this big one and thank you for being so patient !!! <33

Summary: Temporarily living with Johnny has it's challenges, especially since he still isn't being upfront about his feelings or your relationship.

Warnings: 18+ only, smut, mentions of anxiety/panic attacks, mentions of stalking (ex), alcohol consumption, minor harrassment (ex), mental instablity (ex), minor mentions of violence, arguments, mean!Johnny, possessive/jealous!Johnny, reader has a nightmare, masturbation, thigh riding, biting, cunnilingus, grinding, creampie (?), minor dacryphilia, vaginal fingering, minor overstimulation, no use of y/n

MDNI

The past few days with Johnny have been good, you have mostly been watching movies and playing board games. He offered you a deal – for every movie you watch, you have to watch one of his after. A fine deal by any means… if you hadn’t already seen them. Being friends with Johnny means watching all of his movies at least once but it seems like staying here has given him the opportunity to make you watch them all again.

If he hadn’t been so kind and you weren’t so worried about being ungrateful or overstaying your welcome, you would complain and kick up more of a fuss but all in all, you don’t really mind. It’s not like his movies are bad… okay, some of them are definitely not good but he’s still in them so you don’t really mind. He’s a good actor and a good-looking man so it makes sitting through the lesser of his films bearable, that and he’s always so happy when you watch them together, how could you turn him down.

You needed a break from his movies though, which has resulted in a game of trivial pursuit and while you can’t prove it… you think he’s cheating, “This isn’t fun when it’s only two people playing,” you complain.

He’s leaning back on his palms and smiling cockily at you, you’re both sat facing each other with his coffee table in between, the game sat atop and looking at it, you can see just how far behind you are.

“You’re only saying that because you’re losing,” he snickers back at you.

You scowl at him, “Who knows things like…” you pick up another card and read it out, “When the first movie trailer was shown?”

He lightly rolls his eyes, “1913 and plenty of people would know that!”

“No! People don’t just know that?” You’re exasperated with him; he has to know that’s not common knowledge and it’s odd that he knows that off the top of his head.

He shrugs at you, smug smile on his face, “I guess I’m just that good.”

You squint at him, annoyed that he is apparently a trivia god, “Or just that odd.”

“I may be odd but you’re the one dying to get fucked by me,” he wiggles his eyebrows at you.

You groan at him and feel yourself grow hot in the face, “Whatever, just pick a new card.” You flick the card you’re holding at him and he laughs as it falls flat before hitting him.

He’s incredibly happy with himself, now using your desire for him as some kind of punchline. He’s not touched you again, not since the incident on the couch. It’s not like you’ve not made your move either, you’ve tried enticing him and every time he looks so close to folding before he gathers himself and moves forward. For a man who flirts relentlessly with you, he sure does have a lot of self-control.

Your phone buzzes on the table and you pick it up to look, face immediately twisting into an expression of displeasure.

“You good?” Johnny asks.

Placing your phone down, you look to him and answer, “Mhm, yeah… it’s just work.”

He raises a brow at you, “Again?”

You hum at him because yes, again.

Work has been messaging you fairly frequently to see if you’ve gotten ‘better’, you haven’t gone back yet, you used a few of your sick days so you could get some time off after the traumatic event of your ex breaking into and trashing your apartment but management seems to be getting pissy with you, so you will have to go back soon.

Something that had surprised you was Johnny also taking a few days off work to stay with you, you think he’s apprehensive about leaving you alone, which you can’t blame him… you don’t really want to be alone. You haven’t told him that though, you would never ask him to put you above his work.

Johnny sits up, no longer leaning on his hands, “What did they say?”

“They’re just asking how I feel… if I’m better,” you hesitate slightly, “I think I’ll go back tomorrow.”

“I don’t think you should.” He replies quickly.

This is not the first time he’s shown upset at the prospect of you going back to work, “I have to, I still have to pay for my apartment you know.”

He looks at you sincerely, “You know I would pay for anything you need me to.”

“And you know that I’m not comfortable with that,” you retort.

He’s offered to cover the cost of everything for you multiple times now and every time he brings it up, you shoot him down.

“I just don’t love the idea of you going back there, not with your ex still…” his face turns up in disgust, “Existing.”

You chuckle slightly, “It should be fine.”

You say that but you are worried about possibly running into him too, you don’t know if he’s still lingering around your neighbourhood or not. Which, speaking of your apartment, you’re waiting to hear back from your landlord on whether or not the door has been fixed.You’re also dreading having to go back though, you’ve been putting it off for days now. You were supposed to go back for pyjamas but instead Johnny has been letting you live in his shirts.

“Just take tomorrow off, one more day,” he gives you puppy dog eyes. When you don’t immediately reply, he adds, batting his eyelashes at you, “For me?”

Your lips downturn at his stupidity, “Ugh fine, just stop looking at me like that.”

He smiles brightly at you, “Cool! We can watch more of my movies tomorrow.”

You shoot back, “Don’t you have a job?”

“Making you watch all my movies is part of my job,” he jokes.

You whinge out at him, “But I’ve already seen them all~.”

“And now you’re watching them all again~,” he mocks you, smile big and with how proud of himself he is, the weight of his pride might crush you.

“You’re lucky I think you’re cute,” you grumble.

He chuckles at you, “Is that the only reason you’re watching all my movies? Because you want to sleep with me?”

“I’m not going to say you’re completely wrong,” you tease.

He places a hand over his heart, “Do you like any of my movies?”

“Your movies, or movies you’ve starred in?” You clarify.

He’s examining you carefully, “Both.”

You don’t have to think about it, “I like your movies,” you admit, “But you have starred in some questionable ones.”

He points a finger gun at you, “Touché.”

“Are we done playing yet?” You lament, referencing the almost forgotten game of trivial pursuit.

“Are you done pretending you still have a chance at winning?” He counters.

“Never.”

He rolls his eyes playfully at your stubbornness, “What if I said I’d fuck you right now if you’d admit you’ve lost.”

Your heart stutters in your chest and if you felt like he was being serious, you would fold and tell him he’s the all-time winner of trivial pursuit but you know him and you know he’s only teasing, “I’d tell you that you’re being mean and that I’d also sooner die before admitting premature defeat.”

“That’s a real shame,” he hums.

You’re getting annoyed with him; he keeps doing this to you. Relentlessly teasing you with no follow through, not even so much as a kiss. You get up on your knees and shuffle over to him, you end up right in his lap, his hands move to your hips instinctually.

He smirks at you, “And what are you trying to accomplish right now, doll?”

“You’ve been really mean, Johnny,” you pout at him.

“How can I fix it?” he asks.

You feel timid, shy, “You can stop pretending like the other night never happened.”

He’s serious as he answers, “I’m not pretending anything; I know it happened.”

“You’ve not even…” You trail off, now worried that you read into things too much and that you’re still just friends.

“Sugar, I’ve not stopped thinking about it,” he confesses.

You hesitate but probe, “So, you still want me?”

He almost has an air of confusion about him, baffled by your doubt, “Never stopped.”

“Then why haven’t you even kissed me again?” Your brows upturn at him.

His hand moves to hold your face, his thumb stroking high on your cheekbone, “Worried I’m not gonna be able to control myself.”

You lean into his hand slightly, “Don’t want you to.”

He groans, “See, you saying stuff like that doesn’t help,”

“Can I have one kiss?” you mimic the way he bat his eyelashes at you earlier, tacking on, “Please?”

He groans at you, pained, “How could I possibly say no?”

His hand on the the side of your face tilts your head and his lips brush over yours, the small contact electrifying to you. It feels like it’s been so long since he’s kissed you and being this close to him is making you dizzy. He teases you with his proximity, holding you close but never actually kissing you. Just as you’re about to huff out in annoyance at him, he pushes his lips to yours.

The kiss is hot, his mouth insistent and full, your shock gives him the chance to stick his tongue inside your mouth, licking at you. You moan into him, your body relaxing completely, incredibly content to be placated by his lips. His hand on your hip holds you tight, his fingers digging in, attempting to ground himself.

His own moans are muffled by the kiss, you’re affecting him just as much as he thought you would. He begrudgingly pulls away from you, knowing if he keeps kissing you, he’ll lose his mind and end up making you cum for him in anyway he can think of. You whinge as he pulls back and he can’t help the incredibly smug expression on his face at the sound, forever feeling self-pleased by how needy you are for him.

He purrs at you, “Happy?”

“You could make me happier,” you retort.

He only chuckles at you in response before asking, “You gonna admit to losing trivial pursuit?”

You frown at him, “Absolutely not!”

“Then sit your ass back over on your side of the coffee table and answer your question like a good girl,” his tone is a teasing kind of firmness.

You plant a single full kiss on his lips before crawling back over to your side, Johnny’s eyes stay glued to your ass as you shuffle across the carpet. His mind immediately filling with images of his cock pile driving into you while your back is arched for him. This was supposed to be a wholesome game and now he’s thinking of fucking you into the carpet while making you answer trivia questions.

You grumble at him, “You’re so mean to me.”

“I’d feel worse about it if you didn’t seem to enjoy it so much,” he’s incredibly glib right now, completely correct about his effect on you.

“You’re wrong,” you try denying.

“Really?” he raises a brow to you, “Because I seem to remember your pretty little pussy gripping my fingers awfully tight when I was ‘mean’ to you.”

Your face heats up again, “Just pick out a card,” you mumble.

His grin is Cheshire like, “Whatever you want, sugar.” He picks up a new card, “What is the literary term for a word that describes a sound?”

You know this one and you smile brightly, “Onomatopoeia!” you point at him excitedly.

He laughs at your excitement, “You got it.”

You have a small celebratory moment to yourself before you pull out a new card, “If you know this one I’m gonna scream.”

He’s confident in his trivia abilities, “Get ready to yell, doll.”

You read from the card, “What is the year of the first recorded flight?”

“1903,” he smiles cockily, completely sure that he’s right.

And he is, you glare at him and grumble out, “You’re correct.”

“I know,” his tone is self-satisfied.

You don’t win trivial pursuit but you do take pride in not giving up, you may not be good at trivia but you’re proud of yourself for seeing it through. Some may call it stubbornness but you think it shows strength to sit there and try like hell to win even when defeat is right in front of you. You gave it your best shot and you had fun. You will get better at trivia though… he won’t be winning next time. Not that you’re competitive or anything.

✰ ✰ ✰

In the morning you’re woken up by your phone buzzing by your head, sleepily you squint at your screen and see that it’s work trying to call you again. You grumble annoyed at how persistent they are but relent and answer.

“Are you feeling better yet?” Your managers voice is sharp and his question is straight to the point. You’re a bit taken aback by how direct and grumpy he is, you don’t even get to say anything before he continues, “Listen, we’ve been swamped here, unless you’re actively dying, it would be best if you came in. Best for you I mean.”

You don’t miss his threat, your job is now on the line if you don’t go in but with how he’s being such a dick you try to negotiate, “I can come in tomorrow.”

“Today would be best,” he sighs, you don’t answer him and he grunts at you, “Fine, come in tomorrow, if you’re not in tomorrow, you’re getting cut from the roster.”

“Alright, see you–” he didn’t even let you finish your goodbye; he’s already hung up on you. Bastard.

You stare up at the ceiling, your mood for the day already completely ruined, you feel badly because you know you’re lying to work and they do need help but you’re also having a hard time bringing yourself to leave Johnny’s apartment, let alone go back to your neighbourhood. The thought of him being there sends a cold spike of anxiety through you, he did all that to your home, what is he planning to do to you? It’s a frightening thought.

You lay motionless on your mattress for a while, too anxious to go back to sleep but also too tired to get up. Clattering can be heard in the kitchen though and you’re concerned as to what Johnny is attempting to do so you haul yourself up, out of the bed and into his kitchen.

When you make your way into the main area you can see Johnny making pancakes… you think? Mostly, it just looks like he’s making a mess, “What are you doing?”

“Shit–” He jumps at the sound of your voice, dropping the spatula he was holding onto the ground, “I wasn’t expecting you to be awake so early,” he mumbles out as he bends down to retrieve it.

Your tone is amused as you ask again, “What are you doing?”

“Making breakfast,” he sighs.

You walk over to him and see he’s made a complete mess of the kitchen; he’s used far too many bowls for what he’s made. He also seems to have made up some pancake mix two separate times before using the one he is holding now.

You come up beside him and look over what he’s doing, “Why did you make so much mix?”

“The other ones had a weird texture,” he’s focusing hard on tipping some of the mix into the pan.

You want to comment on how he could be doing things better but you’re so appreciative of his efforts and you don’t want to sound like a know it all. But you can’t help but cringe as the bowl slips a bit and gets all over his hand.

He groans out, “I dunno how you did this so effortlessly, I’m killing myself here, doll.” You’re distracted by how he lifts his hand to his mouth and licks some of the batter off, he notices and smiles at you knowingly, moving his hand in front of your face he asks, “Want a taste, sugar?”

Wordlessly, your wrap your lips around his index finger, sucking it clean. Johnny groans at the sight of it, not expecting you to be so willing, he was only joking around but now you’re gently suckling on his finger and he’s about to pass out over it.

You pull back slowly and kiss the tip of his finger when you’re done cleaning it. He’s looking at you like you’ve hung the moon and stars in the sky and you can only huff out an amused laugh at him.

“Move over,” you shoo him away, “I will make the pancakes, you can start cleaning up,” you reach out for the mixing bowl he was holding.

He hands it to you reluctantly, “I was trying to make breakfast for you.”

“And I appreciate it so much but you’re going to make a mess of yourself if you continue,” you place the bowl off to the side and flip the pancake that was still in the pan, it’s too thick and also a little extra crispy thanks to the both of you getting distracted.

He comes up behind you, his arms trapping you against the bench, he leans in over your shoulder, “Would you clean me up if I did?” His words are suggestive, far from innocent.

You turn it back on him, “Would you let me?”

His head drops to your shoulder, resting there, “I want to, doll. Bad.”

“You’re the only one stopping it,” you hum out, focusing on the task at hand, trying to ignore how close he is to you.

He stays close to you as you make the pancakes, his hands move from the bench to your hips, his hands hold onto you, lightly pawing at you, “Why are you up so early anyways? I thought I had more time.”

“Work called me again, woke me up,” you mutter, already knowing Johnny’s going to be pissed that they’ve rung you again.

“Was it that asshole again?” He asks, referencing your manager.

You flip a pancake over in the pan, “Yeah, they’re short staffed and need my help.”

Johnny’s arms wrap around you more, holding you to him as his head turns into your neck, “I hope you said no.”

“I did but I feel bad, I have to go in tomorrow,” you tell him.

“You do not, not if you aren’t ready to be back there,” his arms squeeze you just the tiniest bit tighter, comforting you. He knows how frightened you are to go back to that neighbourhood.

One of your hands reaches down and holds his hand for a moment, “I appreciate the sentiment but I do have to go back, he threatened my job.”

“He what?” Johnny bristles behind you, moving to stand tall, turning you around to face him, “What the hell did he say?”

“It’s nothing that bad, he just said it would be ‘best’ for me if I came in tomorrow,” you wince slightly as you repeat your managers message.

Johnny’s scowl deepens, severely pissed off with your manager, “He’s such a dick, I don’t like him.”

“Not many people do but I can also understand his frustrations at the moment, plus… I’m not even sick, so…” You feel sheepish and you turn away from him, pouring the last of the batter into the pan.

Johnny scoffs from behind you, “So what? As far as he’s concerned you are sick and it’s not like you’re taking the time off for kicks. After what you’ve been through, you deserve some time off.”

He’s making you feel emotional, you don’t like thinking about what happened too hard, it’s still too fresh. You purse your lips and focus on the pancake sizzling in the pan instead of the slight burn in your eyes from holding back tears.

He places his hand on your shoulder, “You deserve to go to work without fear.”

Now why did he go and say that? You can’t help but cry silently as you flip the pancake, you’re trying so hard to hide it, blinking away your tears as soon as they form. Johnny knows though, he knows he touched a sore spot for you but he was genuinely only trying to help.

“Oh doll,” he sighs out at you, pulling you into his arms. You turn into him and cling on, needing the comfort right now. He lets you cry into his shirt for a moment, your tears no doubt soaking into the fabric. His hands rub up and down your back, trying to soothe you.

You remember the pancake though and sniffle into his shirt, “The pancake is going to burn.”

He takes the spatula from you and flips it onto the plate, “All better,” he places the utensil back down and moves his other hand back to you, “You worry about the silliest of things.”

You laugh dryly into him, “So do you.” He holds you in his kitchen for a bit as you will yourself to stop crying, you’re worried about the pancakes getting cold, “Hot pancakes are better than cold ones.”

His hands stop moving on your back and his head tilts down to you, “Is that your way of telling me you want to eat the pancakes now?”

“I am worried about them getting cold,” your face is still pressed into his shirt, your words slightly mumbled.

He shrugs at you, “I’m not.”

You make a face that he can’t see, it’s one of displeasure, “You should be… cold pancakes are bad.”

He dismisses, “They aren’t that bad.”

You’re still teary eyed but you pull back and look at him with as serious an expression as you can muster, “Cage… don’t eat cold pancakes.”

He smiles at you, happy to see your face again. His hand cups the side of your face, “There she is, my pretty doll.”

His words make your skin grow hot and you look away, he’s smiling big though, always happy to embarrass you.

You look at the pancakes on the bench, “Let’s just eat, yeah?”

“Whatever you want, sugar,” he pulls his hand away but not before booping the tip of your nose gently.

You sigh at him but move around the kitchen getting ready to plate out breakfast, Johnny comes up to your side and stops you, “Go sit down, I’ll plate it up.”

“But–”

“Don’t ‘but’ me, you ended up making them all so go sit down,” he points over to the breakfast bar.

You want to argue with him, about how you didn’t put nearly as much effort into making them as he did. How he did the most annoying part but based on the look on his face, you wouldn’t be able to convince him to let you plate it up anyways. So, you sulk away and around the bench, perching yourself atop the stool and wait for him to give you your pancakes.

As you watch him move around the kitchen something occurs to you, “Did you tell me the wrong cabinet when I was first here just so you could see my ass?”

He stands to face you, his smile sly but his tone faux offended, “I would never do that, how dare you.”

You roll your eyes at him and his response, “You would do that.”

“Can you blame me? You’ve got one hell of an ass, sugar,” he places your plate down in front you, wiggling his eyebrows as he does.

You try to be offended but you end up feeling complimented, “Thank you,” he smiles deviously at you and you squint back at him, “for the pancakes, not your gross compliment.”

“Ah, but you took it as a compliment,” he throws a wink your way, his demeanour pleased.

You roll your eyes at him and eat your pancakes, they aren’t bad. He did an alright job with the batter… third times the charm, it was just the actual cooking part he seemed to have the most issues with. Well… that and the mess he made.

You realise he spent his time clinging to you instead of cleaning like he was supposed to, “You didn’t clean…”

“I got distracted,” he mumbles, mouth full.

Not looking at him, you reply, “You do that a lot.”

“Stop living here and it won’t be a problem anymore,” he nudges your arm with his elbow.

“Alright,” you agree easily, you’re only staying for as long as you’re welcome.

Johnny doesn’t flinch, “No.”

You turn to look at him, questioning look on your face, “No?”

He still doesn’t look to you, mindlessly eating his breakfast as he explains, “Yeah, no. Keep staying here, I don’t mind being distracted.” He turns to you and smiles, “I like it, actually.”

His smile and words fluster you; you’re still concerned about overstaying your welcome though. Turning back to your food you mutter, “If you get sick of me and need me to leave, tell me, I’ll go.”

“You are always welcome in my home, not gonna ask you to leave, doll,” he picks up his plate and walks into the kitchen, stopping behind you to press a kiss to the crown of your head, “Not now or in the future, stay as long as you like…” he puts his plate in the sink, “…hell, stay forever.”

“I’m not staying forever,” you giggle, taking it as a joke.

He smiles fondly at you, “Do whatever you like, you’re always welcome here.”

✰ ✰ ✰

Waking up is hard, especially since you know you have a shift later, one you are none too keen to do. Images of your ex grabbing at you, of you punching him, the feeling of the impact, it’s all still so fresh in your mind and the idea of maybe running into him, or worse, him waiting for you, is horrifying. You might have to look for a new job but you like where you are, you like your co-workers. It’s also convenient, within walking distance from your apartment but now think that may not be such a bonus anymore, especially if you decide to move.

You’ve been considering getting a new place but your apartment is rent controlled and a decent price and it’s close to everything, moving is such a hassle but the idea of going back there and living day to day life frightens you. You’ll be constantly on edge in that apartment, you know what needs to be done but that doesn’t make it easy.

Lying in bed and thinking about this isn’t going to make it better though, you’re just stressing yourself out. You groan dramatically to the empty room as you pull yourself out of bed, your limbs feel heavy. If you had your way, you’d stay in bed a little longer but you know Johnny will be leaving for work soon and you want to see him before he goes.

You find him looking like a mess in the hallway, trying to shuffle himself out the door, his phone is balanced between his ear and shoulder, fingers fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. He smiles when he sees you, mouthing a good morning. You smile back at him and shoo his hands away from his shirt, one drops to his side and the other hold his phone properly.

There’s some kind of issue with one of the actors in his films, you could probably gather more if you weren’t distracted by his skin peeking out from under his shirt. His voice is stern on the phone, a tone you’ve only heard a handful of times, one that’s rarely, if ever, directed at you. You want him to stay home and have his way with you right now but you’re starting to gather that the begging isn’t really working as well as you want it to, that and you do actually have to go back to work today.

When you’ve buttoned his shirt you pat his chest, he mutes his side of the call and holds his phone away from his ear, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” you’re fighting to keep your eyes on his and not look at his lips.

His free hand holds the side of your face, “I’ll be back late today,” he looks away from you for a second, “I’d prefer if you didn’t go in today, I might not be available if you need me.”

You roll your eyes at him lightly, “I probably won’t need you, plus my shift is only short and I need money.”

“I can give you money,” his tone is slightly exasperated, his hand moves to hold your shoulder.

“I don’t want your money,” the idea of taking money from him, while also living in his home… is uncomfortable, you don’t care if he’s offering, you are not taking his money.

He looks you over carefully, ignoring the voice coming from his phone, “You really not going to take another day?”

“Nope, I can’t… not without risking my job,” you place your hands on your hips and raise a brow at him, you told him this yesterday.

His head rolls back and he groans a bit, the hand on your shoulder shakes you slightly, “Fine, but finish early and come straight back here,” his face pulls up in disgust, “I hate that, that little rat of a man is still out and about.”

Your lips twist from holding in a laugh, your hand salutes him as you say, “Yessir.”

He squints at you before putting his phone back to his ear, unmuting himself, the person on the other end had started to yell at him through the phone, “I am coming! Geez…” He spins to leave but quickly turns around and presses a kiss to your lips, “I’ll see you later,” he rushes out the apartment after that.

You’re left shocked, staring at the door he just left out of. It’s not the first time you’ve kissed… obviously but the casualness of it has your stomach erupting in butterflies. He kissed you like it was the most natural thing, like it was a part of your routine, like you’re a couple. Your relationship with him has left you completely confused but how he doubled back just to kiss you goodbye has you smiling to yourself like an idiot all morning.

✰ ✰ ✰

The trip to work is nerve wracking, you’re worried about being back, you’re extra cautious of everyone around you, eyes scanning every face quickly, it’s not until you’re actually at work and can hide in the backroom do you feel the slightest bit better. Having people around you and being behind the counter puts you at ease, it’ll at least be harder for your ex to get at you, hopefully he doesn’t show up though.

You’re waiting the extra few minutes for your shift to start, as you sit and stare at your feet, you see another pair approach and stop in front of you. You’re scared it’s your manager but as you lift your head up to look, you realise it’s just one of your co-workers. Your shoulders drop, relaxing, knowing that you aren’t about to be scolded for you absence.

Your co-worker smiles down at you, “You’re back! Are you feeling better?”

He is so chipper compared to your general unease about everything, “Ah, hey Michael, yeah… I’m all better,” you give him a polite smile.

“Are you sure? You don’t look so well…” he leans down slightly, as if to examine you closer before moving out of your personal space, “Sorry! I didn’t mean that in a bad way, you still look great! Beautiful, even… uhm, what I mean is… you just look a little run down,” his hand awkwardly scratches at the back of his neck.

“I’m alright… thanks though?” You’re a little confused and aren’t sure what the appropriate response to him would be.

Michael is a nice guy and you’ve known him for a bit now, long enough to consider him a friend but he’s horribly awkward around you sometimes and you can’t figure out why, or what the suitable way to react to him would be.

He stands in front of you, rocking on his heels slightly, hands stuffed into his pockets, “I can take most of the orders and serve if you like? So, you don’t have to talk to as many people. You can hang back and wipe tables and stuff, the work people do when there is no work,” he laughs lightly.

You protest, if it’s been as busy as your manager says then you don’t want to put it all on Michael, “You don’t have to do that!”

He waves his hand dismissively at you, “It’s not been that busy, I’m happy to do it.”

The offer he makes sounds perfect to you, normally you would protest more but the risk of having to serve your ex is high and Michael has just unknowingly given you an out, “That… would actually be great, thank you. If things get busy though I will be on top of it!”

“Don’t worry about it, take it slow and let me know if you need me to cover for you or something… like if you need an extra break,” he’s still shuffling on his feet but he’s calmed a bit, “To be honest, if you aren’t feeling well, I don’t think you should be here.”

“Tell that to big boss man,” you snark out humourlessly.

His face pulls up in a sympathetic grimace, “He call you in, huh?”

“Yeah, he said you guys have been really busy and not so subtly threatened my job if I didn’t come in,” you wear a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes as you speak, sharing the bitten back annoyance you feel towards your manager.

Michael rolls his eyes, “That sure is one of his favourite moves, you know he wouldn’t have fired you though, too many of us would also leave if he fired you for being unwell.”

He’s right, most people would walk out, you know you would but you also don’t doubt your managers hubris, he probably would have fired you just to prove a point, even if it caused him to lose other employees too.

You half smile at him, “I dunno, I think he would fire me still, I also wouldn’t want people to leave here because of me, the pay is too good compared to other service jobs.” You glance to the clock behind his head and place your hands to your knees, pushing yourself up, “Oh well, time to start.”

Michael rolls his head and groans slightly, dreading the shift as much as you, “Great,” he looks to you again, “Seriously though, take it easy and let me know if you need anything.”

You smile and thank him again before the both of you clock on and walk out of the backroom.

The first half of your shift is uneventful, everything is quiet for the most part, busy your ass. Michael kept true to his offer and has been manning most of the orders while you hang back and make the odd drink or coffee, which you don’t mind, human interaction is not something you were looking forward to today and you somehow always end up with the weirdest customers.

The customers today, however, are mostly older people, you notice that there are only a few other people working, which is odd. The place is a small café/restaurant kind of gig, it’s nice but it can get busier and it can get busy quick, so you’re surprised by how slow it is today.

While you’re on your ten-minute break, your manager approaches you, “Glad to see you back.”

“It is good to be back,” you try to be as inoffensive as possible but you think your disdain for him is something that cannot be easily hidden.

He stares blankly at you for a moment, “Can you stay back today? Our closer called out.”

You remember Johnny’s words and how he had asked you to come back early, “I don’t think–”

“–It would be helpful, if you could, otherwise Michael will be alone.”

“Michael is staying back too?” You’re confused, normally you’d both be swapped out, actually, normally there would be at least another server on around this time.

Your manager looks exasperated with all this back and forth, “Yeah he’s already covering for someone else.”

Damn, Michael is such a pushover and you feel bad for him, you know you said to Johnny you would go straight back to his after your shift but you feel bad for your co-worker, that and the extra money is pretty enticing after not coming to work for a bit… plus… you still technically would be going straight back to Johnny’s, it would just be a little bit later.

You sigh out before answering, “I suppose I can stay back.”

“That’s great, thank you, take an extra ten,” he pats your shoulder and shuffles off.

You guess what he meant by “swamped” was actually “understaffed”, sounds like a lot of the servers have been calling out. Which kind of has you understanding his frustrations with you, you’re still pissed at him for handling it poorly though.

You use the extra ten-minutes to sit and zone out, staring at the bleak wall of the backroom. Distantly, you consider messaging Johnny to tell him you’ll be back later than you thought but he’s also meant to be late, so chances are, you’ll get back before him.

Before you have more time to think about it though, your break is up and you’re heading back out onto the floor. The hours tick by… so… slowly, the afternoon picks up a bit in business and you help with serving but then it dies down again not long after and you’re back to a coffee every now and again and cleaning.

The bell on the door dings as it swings open and closed, Michael greets them, their voice catches your attention and as you look at them, your blood runs cold. Your ex has just walked through the door and moved to sit at a table, Michael goes over to take his order and your heart feels like it’s about to pound out of your chest.

You aren’t sure what you should do, the cops weren’t helpful last time and you don’t want them coming to your place of work, you’re frightened and uncertain of what to do. He looks to you and you catch his gaze, he smiles at you and wiggles his fingers in greeting, you frown back at him and storm off to the backroom, giving yourself time to calm down.

Deep breaths in and out, in… and out… you focus on things around you, the feel of the wall under your palm, how your feet feel in your shoes, how your apron scrunches in your fist, your racing heart calms down, slowing to a more reasonable pace. You roll your head and crack your neck, trying to remove the stiffness in your bones, you think about Johnny, you think about how safe he makes you feel and you think about calling him. You won’t, you don’t feel like you should, he’s busy today and he said he would be unreachable… and you’re worried about what he may do, how it may upset him that you’ve agreed to stay back later.

Your energy is better spent calming down and pretending like your ex has not upset you, it’s a power move on his behalf, showing up here, he’s trying to scare you and while it is working, you are not going to let him know that, he will not be getting anything more out of you. He doesn’t deserve any sort of satisfaction, what he does deserve is another smack to the head but you will control that urge too, you really need your job.

Taking one last deep breath, you leave the room and go back to doing the odd jobs cleaning up, you continue your shift, ignoring him the whole time, you don’t even look at him, all of your focus is put into whatever you’re doing in that moment. You can feel him watching though, he stays the whole of your shift, watching you and hoping you’ll look his way, he makes your skin crawl.

Towards the end of your shift, when you’re closing up and everyone has left, Michael approaches you, “That guy from earlier, he comes in a lot lately and he’s usually fine… but today he was unsettling, he wouldn’t stop watching you,” he pauses and looks out the front window, “and I think he’s waiting outside.”

You groan, this is something you would rather not have to tell anyone about but since he’s picked up on it and you really don’t want to leave alone, you confide in Michael, “He’s my ex… and he’s been stalking me? Of sorts… it’s why I hadn’t come to work for a bit, I was worried he would come here.”

He makes a shocked face, “That’s horrific, have you told someone?”

“The cops know but they’re about as helpful as nipples on men,” you’re completely frustrated and you also don’t want to talk too in depth about this.

He chuckles at your statement, caught off guard by it, “Sorry, this is not funny but I’ve not heard someone say that before while also looking so serious.”

You also crack a smile, it was the first thing that came to your mind, it is a bit ridiculous, “It’s fine, it’s a stupid saying.”

“Definitely true though,” he adds before his expression turns more serious, sympathetic to you, “I am so sorry this has been happening to you… you don’t deserve this, can I do anything to help? Do you want me to give you a lift home?”

You appreciate his offer deeply and while maybe you would accept it if you were staying at yours, you don’t feel comfortable giving him Johnny’s address, “No, that’s okay, I’ve been staying with a friend so I’m just gonna catch a cab to their place.”

“Are you sure? Do you want me to at least wait with you?” He seems a little apprehensive at leaving you on your own.

“I would like that, please,” you don’t want to wait on the side of the road by yourself, not with him right outside.

The pair of you walk outside together after double checking everything is packed away properly, Michael makes sure he’s on the side your ex is when you leave the building, not wanting him to possibly get at you. Your ex only watches, he doesn’t approach you, he just stands there, you don’t know what he’s doing but you feel like he may be waiting for you to be left alone.

You don’t speak, you don’t have anything to say, you’re trying your best to not show how unsettled by him you are, all of your focus put into keeping yourself calm. The sound of a lighter flickering is oddly loud in the quiet street, cigarette smoke lingers in the air, your ex has lit up a cigarette and the smell is making you feel sickly, though that might just be his presence altogether.

Michael places an arm around you before leaning in, “Are you okay? You sure I can’t just give you a ride?”

“No, I’m fine, thank you,” you smile at him and then pull out your phone, getting ready to order a cab.

A loud car is speeding up the street, the sounds make you roll your eyes, asshole, you think. It’s getting closer though, and then it’s pulling over right in front of you. The expression on your face is annoyed, pissed off, you want to curse out the asshole driving like a dick, you even go so far as opening your mouth to say something but as they get out of the car, you realise it’s Johnny, and then you’re shocked silent, your mouth closing very suddenly.

Michael is just as shocked and confused, his arm coming off you as he asks, “Holy fuck, is that Johnny Cage?”

Johnny walks straight to you, ignoring Michael, “Are you okay? Why are you still out? I told you to come back early,” his brows are set in a deep frown, eyes scanning you quickly, hands holding your face tenderly.

“I’m fine and I got asked to stay back, I was about to catch a cab–”

“–Why didn’t you call me?” His hands come off your face but one of them reaches down to your hand and grips it in his.

“You said you were going to be busy and unreachable,” you shrug, you know you could’ve sent a text or something but you didn’t want to be a nuisance, not when it seemed like his start to the day was already rocky.

“Not that unreachable,” he sighs, he looks around your surroundings properly, you think he may finally take notice of Michael who has been very patiently waiting to be acknowledged.

You try prompting an introduction, “Uhm, this is my co-worker, Michael.”

“Why the fuck is he here,” Johnny ignores your words, gaze set off to the side where your ex is, his hand grips yours a little tighter, he moves closer to you, glaring at your ex.

You don’t want there to be a scene, you want what you wanted before, you want to leave and go back to Johnny’s, you just want to feel safe again, “Johnny–”

“–How long has he been here for?” He barely glances back at you, still staring your ex down.

“Most of her shift,” Michael answers for you, it makes you cringe because you know Johnny is going to have a lot of thoughts about you not telling him.

Johnny finally acknowledges his presence, “What?”

“He’s been here all day… and then he was hanging around after close…” Michael looks to you, “Did I say something wrong?” He asks you a bit quieter.

“No, you’ve done nothing wrong,” you get Johnny may be a little on edge and severely pissed at your ex but he’s being overtly hostile towards Michael for no reason.

Johnny hums, “Get in the car, doll.”

You prompt him, “Johnny,” he looks to you and you keep talking, “Don’t do anything, I just want to leave.”

Johnny scowls, thinking on it for a moment, wanting so badly to walk those few steps over to your ex and beat the fuck out of him, he looks back to you and sees the way your eyes plead with him and he recognises you’ve probably had the worst day of work in your life, the psychological torture of having your ex watch your every move exhausting and frightening.

He concedes to you, “Fine, we’ll just leave.” He turns around to open the car door for you.

You turn to Michael and place a hand on his shoulder, “Sorry about everything and seriously, thank you for today, you made it easier being here.”

“Anytime, I hope the cops do something about your ex soon, I hate that you’re going through this,” he looks worried for you and you can’t blame him but you think Johnny does enough worrying about you for ten people.

“Have a good night,” you pat his shoulder before walking to the car.

“Hey!” He calls out to you before you sit down, “Uhm, if you need anything, text me.”

You smile at him as Johnny closes the car door, you give him a thumbs up from inside the car, you don’t think you’ll ask for his help but it’s kind of him to offer, he’s a very giving person.

Johnny takes a bit longer to get in the car, it doesn’t look like he says anything to Michael but he stares at him for a bit. When he does get inside the car, he wordlessly starts the engine and drives you both back to his. It’s tense and it feels like you’re in trouble, your leg is bouncing up and down with your nerves and he reaches over to you, placing his hand on your thigh, attempting to comfort you.

It works, slightly, you would feel better if he broke his silence and got his thoughts all out now but you know he’s going to wait until you’re both back at his apartment. His thumb rubs along your skin, soothing you, it calms you enough to sit still the rest of the drive.

Still, no words are spoken the whole way up to his apartment, nothing other than your small thank yous when he opens a door for you, mostly you trail behind him. When you reach the door he lets you in first, locking it and walking into the living room, you linger awkwardly but ultimately follow after him.

He must hear you follow because he doesn’t turn around as he asks, “What were you thinking? Your ex shows up while you’re working and not only do you not think to tell me, you also stay the whole shift and even work late?” He’s exasperated, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

You shuffle into the room more, “…We are understaffed and I didn’t want to make Michael handle that on his own, plus it’s good money… and I need the money, so I can pay for the apartment.”

He turns around to look at you, “But you didn’t tell me any of that? Just left me in the dark to come home to an empty apartment?”

Your brows knit together, starting to get frustrated with him, “You said you were going to be unreachable, of course I wanted to call you as soon as I was asked to stay back, as soon as he showed up, but I thought about your words this morning… and honestly, I thought of how you’re reacting right now!”

“So, you rely on some stranger?” His hands gesture angrily.

“Who?” you’re confused.

He grimaces, “The fucker with you tonight.”

“Michael?” He nods and you make a perplexed face back at him, “He’s not a stranger? He’s my co-worker and I have known him for a bit now,” you hesitate before adding quietly, “He’s a friend.”

Johnny crosses his arms and raises a brow at you, “A friend, like how I’m a friend?”

“What–”

He cuts you off, not even letting you ask your question, “–Like how you’re begging me to fuck you any chance you get, kind of friend?”

You’re deeply frustrated with him, you don’t like his tone, or attitude, “What are you attempting to imply right now?”

“Nothing, I’m not implying anything,” he glowers at you, nothing secret about how he’s feeling right now, everything he feels is on his face.

He’s cutting you deep, your feelings run deeper for him than just physically and he has to know that by now, “I feel like you’re being incredibly unfair, I like you a lot and I want you in more than just one way.” You wrap your arms around yourself, pulling back from him.

He doesn’t say anything, he just stands there looking at you, still angry for no good reason. You turn around and leave him there, if you stay here looking at him while he does nothing but glare at you, you’ll cry.

You’ve just told him how you feel, you were honest and he doesn’t give you the same courtesy, not just now but ever, he’s not told you how he honestly feels and you can only put up with that for so long. You’re not a dog with a bone but he makes you feel like one, saying sweet nothings to you but not actually saying what he means or how he feels.

You head back to the guest room and flop onto the bed, allowing yourself a moment to sob, you’ve had such a shitty day and you wanted more than anything to come back here and tell Johnny about it, to be held by him while he told you everything is going to be okay. Now, you’re not only just upset about your workday, you’re also pissed at Johnny for how he just treated you.

From in your back pocket, your phone vibrates.

✰ ✰ ✰

You don’t really know how you’ve ended up here… well, you do, some of the girls from your college course invited you to a party and you were pretty keen to jump at the idea of escaping all your thoughts for the evening, you have tomorrow off so what’s the harm? Is what you had thought. You ended up sneaking out of Johnny’s apartment and ubering to the address you were given, from there it’s all a bit more hazy, you’ve been drinking a lot. Not typically something you do but you think after the day you’ve had, you earned it.

You do remember you left a note for Johnny to find, telling him you were fine and would be back late, you initially weren’t going to leave him anything but you thought that would be unkind, plus, it would only serve to worry him. Which, you genuinely don’t want him to stress about you so much, you are perfectly capable of caring for yourself, you’ve done it this long.

The night started out fun, drinking and dancing with these girls, but now you’re past drunk and they are nowhere to be seen. The people around you are getting handsy too, now that you’re alone on the dancefloor you’re an easier target. All the people in your personal space is starting to get to you and you end up pushing through the crowd of people to try and find some familiar faces.

It feels like you search the whole house twice but you can’t seem to find any of them, which is odd, you don’t know where they went or why they haven’t so much as messaged you about where they are. If you weren’t so far gone, you might worry about them more but the world is starting to spin a bit and you find yourself walking out the front and sitting on the stairs, you’re alone out here, well, alone besides the few people passed out on the lawn but you don’t think you’re going to count them.

The fresh air will hopefully help you feel better, you pull out your phone to order an uber and see a bunch of missed calls and texts from Johnny. You go to swipe the notification away but accidentally press it and your phone starts calling him back. Your attempts to hang up before he answers fail, especially since he picks up so quickly, the line barely ringing twice.

Johnny sounds pleased and pissed off to hear from you, “Thank god! Where the hell are you?”

“It said in mm note, at friends party,” your words are coming out slurred even though you’re trying to sound sober.

You can almost feel his glare through the phone, “Your note was stupid, why did you leave without telling me?”

You counter, “Would you have let me leave?” He doesn’t say anything, the other end of the phone in complete silence, “Exactly, plus mm still mad at you,” you state.

His tone is scrutinising, “Are you drunk?”

You ask him stupidly, “Are you?”

“What? Obviously not?” He sighs into the phone, irritated by you, “Just tell me you’re safe at least.”

“Mmmm, I think so? I dunno… actually can you come get me? I dunno where mm friends are and I don’t wanna be here anymore,” you lean your head to your shoulder, closing your eyes for a second.

He sounds relieved, “Yes, I can come get you, send me the address.”

You like listening to him talk, “You have a nice voice, sometimes when you talk it gives me butterflies in my tummy…” your words are lazy and you trail off.

Johnny urges you, “Hey, focus, tell me where you are, doll.”

“At a friend’s house… hmm hold on,” you think he may still be talking but you’ve pulled your phone away from your ear to text him the address, you hold the phone to your ear again, “Did ya get that?”

“Yeah I did, I’ll be there soon okay, hang tight.”

“Mm not moving, too comfy,” your head rests back to your shoulder, your eyes slow blinking with how tired you’re getting.

Your eyes slip closed and you switch between hearing all the things around you and hearing nothing at all, your head is somehow swimming with every thought you’ve ever had and not a single thing. You rub at your eyes, trying to stay awake and present but you lose the fight and they slip closed again.

You aren’t sure how much time passes but it feels like no time at all has gone by when Johnny shakes you awake, him standing in front of you so soon feels like a hallucination, he leans down to you and your hand reaches up and pokes his chest.

He makes a confused face at you, “What was that for?”

��Jus checking you’re real,” you murmur out.

“Jesus, sugar,” he shakes his head at you, “Come on, let’s get you home,” he reaches down to you.

“Mmkay,” you take his hand and he pulls you up, you fall into him slightly.

He walks you back to his car carefully, worried about your balance the whole time, his hands stay on you, assisting your steps.

“I’m glad you called,” he says.

You mutter back at him, “Didn’t mean to, fingers are stupid.”

He huffs at you lightly, “Okay, well…I’m glad you asked me to come get you.”

You’re hesitant, “Thank you… for coming,” your lips are downturned, still pissed off at him but grateful all the same.

He opens his car door for you, the second time today and you get inside, “I’ve said it before… but I’ll always come… when you call.” He leans over to buckle you in, when he pulls back his fingers hold your chin, “You just have to call me.”

You’re still pouting and you look away from him, he makes you weak and you’re not ready to forgive him, especially when he’s not apologised, “Can we jus leave?”

He sighs softly to himself, “Yeah… let’s leave.”

He gets you both back to his in one piece, you felt a bit dizzy in the car but you’re feeling sturdier by the time you’re back in his apartment. He leads you into the kitchen and gets you a glass of water, he makes you drink it all in front of him.

You watch him as he takes the glass from you and puts it in the dishwasher, you feel tempted to tell him, “Mm still mad at you.”

He holds onto the edge of the bench, “I know.”

“You really hurt me,” you add.

“I know,” he repeats.

His unwillingness to look at you or give you a better answer has you tearing up, “Are you even sorry?”

He still won’t turn your way, the sink more interesting apparently, “We can talk more tomorrow, it’s late and you’re drunk.”

“I’ve never been more sober in my life,” you argue.

“I somehow doubt that,” is all he says.

You roll your eyes at him, you’ve had enough, “Whatever, thanks again… for picking me up,” you leave the kitchen after that, not willing to stay and let him ignore you more.

You just want to collapse into bed and pretend like everything is fine, you want to pretend you’re back to a couple days ago, when you and Johnny were playing trivial pursuit. You want to think of how kind he was to you yesterday, when you cried in his kitchen while making pancakes and you’re not going to think about how he implied you were interested in sleeping with all your friends and minimised your feelings for him.

Talking to him again is not something you’re looking forward to, not if tonight is anything to go by, he takes up such a large place in your heart and to be treated like this by him feels… shattering. He’s always been so kind to you and to be spoken to like this, it’s devastating, you want to understand but you also want him to leave you alone for a bit, you’re not certain you’re ready to listen to whatever he has to say.

In your very slowly sobering state, you manage to get yourself into the shower and fresh pyjamas, having to do this tomorrow while hungover is going to be hell so your sober-self better be grateful to drunk you because this is far too much effort when you’d rather be curled up in bed crying over a stupid boy.

✰ ✰ ✰

Banging sounds in the kitchen jolt you awake, your head pounding from the hangover you’re currently sporting. The clanging not helping your current state at all, your eyes squint against the minimal light seeping into the room. The furrow set in your brow not helping the pain in your head, you must look incredibly angry right now… and remembering yesterday… yeah, you are incredibly angry right now.

Groaning you flop onto your side and notice that Johnny must’ve come in earlier because there’s some ibuprofen and water sitting on the nightstand next to the bed. You hate how thoughtful he’s being after saying some pretty thoughtless things, he’s not being fair to you at all. Just to get your ducks in a row, he implied you wanted to sleep with your friends, devalued your feelings for him, gave you the silent treatment, got upset that you left the house, wouldn’t talk to you last night, and then again disregarded you all while knowing he had hurt your feelings… yeah, you’re pissed.

Talking right now, or today, might be a bad idea, you’re not in the best headspace, whatever reason he has may not be enough for you. Ignoring the ache in your bones and head, you get up and pack away your bags, stuffing everything in haphazardly, staying here… might not be best for either of you. Being in a home with someone who is upset at you but not willing to speak about it… makes you uncomfortable, you were already worried about overstaying your welcome when things were good… now it feels almost unbearable.

You are thankful to drunk you for getting clean last night, it’ll make leaving easier, you change out of your pyjamas and crack open the door to scope out the area, double checking he’s not in the way. He doesn’t seem to be in the main areas, you think you may be able to leave without him noticing. Grabbing your bag, you quietly shuffle to the front door, it feels ridiculous, like you’re attempting to pull off some great heist, it’s not lost on you how stupid you’re being but you’re hurt, mad, and hungover, you get to be a little stupid.

“What are you doing?” Johnny’s voice makes you jump in place, you hadn’t even heard him approach you.

Slowly, you spin to face him, “…Nothing?”

His eyes look you over before focusing on the bag you’re holding, “Really? Because it looks like you’re trying to leave without saying goodbye.”

“Well, I just thought… after yesterday… it may be better if I leave… quietly,” your head is too sore to be standing here talking about this right now.

He frowns at you, his hands on his hips, annoyed by your choice, “Better for who? I don’t want you to leave and I never said that I did.”

“You haven’t said anything actually,” you point out, you don’t even know why he cares if you stay, he’s the one who started the ‘argument’ or whatever this is.

He sidesteps your statement, instead asking, “Where are you gonna go?”

You roll your head and look away, “Back to mine… probably.”

“While your ex is out there… actively stalking you?” His tone is dubious.

He’s annoying you with his logic, “I don’t know, Johnny, all I know is that you’re not talking to me and I don’t feel welcome here.” You’re starting to tear up and you curse yourself for it, “I was already hesitant to stay here and now you don’t look at me and when you do, you look so… angry and I don’t know why. I don’t know what I’ve done to upset you so much.”

He’s quiet and it seems like he’s not going to say anything… again. You sigh and turn to the front door, choosing to leave anyways but Johnny grabs your wrist, stopping you, “Don’t leave… please.”

You close your eyes for a moment, the light hurting your head, You turn back to him, waiting for him to continue talking; he lets go of your wrist when he’s certain you’re not going to walk away.

He adds, “I’m not upset at you–”

“–It feels like you are.” You interrupt.

He’s beginning to get exasperated, “I’m angry with myself, I’m pissed off and I took it out on you, and I’m annoyed that I did, I want to talk to you about this, I want to explain.”

“Explain then! I’ve given you chances to explain and all you do is stand there silently, I want to be able to forgive you,” you sigh at him again, “You’ve fucked up, if you were anyone else… I would’ve walked away already but I want you to give me the chance to forgive you.”

“I got pissed when I saw you with that– with Michael, it wasn’t rational but it made me realise… people your age are interested in you, there are people out there that are better for you… I– I had already known that… I just didn’t expect…” He’s getting pissed again, you can tell by the way he crosses his arms and his mouth pulls down into a scowl, “I didn’t expect the anger I would feel at seeing you with someone else, I didn’t… the idea of you being with someone else, of someone else touching you how I have, it makes me physically sick.”

You take a deep breath, “So… because you got jealous… you implied I wanted to sleep with my friends and ignored me when I told you I liked you?”

He looks like he wants to touch you, his fingers thrumming against his bicep, fidgeting, “I wasn’t thinking properly, I’m so sorry, doll.”

Your shoulders drop, your bag slipping, “I don’t know… how to react to this–”

He cuts you off to add, “–I like you too, a lot.”

His words make your heart skip a beat but you hold steady, “You can’t say that and expect me to just forgive you.”

He moves closer to you, “I know, that’s not why I said it.”

“I’m not forgiving you.”

“That’s okay,” he hums, “Can I touch you?”

This man does not play fair, “I–”

He touches you anyways, his hand holds the side of your face before he pulls you to him, hugging you tightly, “I am really sorry… I don’t feel good enough for you, you deserve better, you deserve more but I can’t help but feel incredibly selfish because the idea of someone else having you… it literally drives me crazy, doll.”

Being held by him, regretfully, has you feeling so much better, your bag properly drops from your shoulder, and you hug him back, missing his warmth. “You were mean.”

“I’m sorry,” he replies.

“I’d had such a bad day and all I wanted was to tell you about it,” your eyes start welling with tears.

He repeats, “I’m sorry.”

“I missed you,” you sniffle out.

His head leans down to you, nosing at your cheek, “I missed you, too.” You move to pull back, but his hands hold you still, one of them grasping your face, his lips brush against yours before he pulls back himself to say, “You know, I was also seriously concerned for your safety, I came home and you still weren’t back and I had no messages from you, nothing letting me know you were okay.”

You suppose, you can apologise for that much, “And for that, I am sorry.”

“I forgive you… this time.” He jokes, taking it lightly.

You look at him carefully, considering everything, “Johnny, I need to know what we’re doing.”

He’s confused by your sudden question, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, are we more than friends?” You need clarity, after having none for so long, you just need to know what the hell you’re doing.

His brows furrow and he pretends to think really hard, “Considering I’ve made you cum multiple times and stuck my tongue in your mouth… I’d consider you more than a friend.”

You groan and roll your eyes at him, pushing him back by his shoulder, it barely moves him, his hands instead grabbing your face and pulling you to him. He takes your lips in his own, his kiss full and passionate, it takes you by surprise and you make a small sound reminiscent of a whine.

He presses his forehead to yours, “Do you wanna be my girl?”

“Ugh, corny,” you complain but you hate how badly you want that.

He chuckles lightly, pressing kisses to your lips again, “I want you to be.”

You’re not fully paying attention, temporarily distracted by his kisses, “Mmm... Sorry, what?”

He simplifies, “Mine, I want you to be mine.”

You agree easily, “Okay.”

A smile spreads across his lips and then he moves to press kisses all over your face, “Does this mean I’m forgiven?”

“Somewhat,” you answer cryptically, mostly because you’re annoyed by how easily he fixed everything.

“I’ll take it,” he breathes out a laugh.

You wince involuntarily, your head still pounding, your body reminding you of your adventures last night and the consequences that come along with them, “I need to lay back down.”

Johnny’s tone is worried, his hands hold onto your shoulders, putting some distance between you both to look you over, “Are you okay?”

You deadpan back, “Yeah… you’re just exhausting.”

“Not nice,” he complains.

You smile cheekily at him, “I’m kidding… mostly,” he forces a smile back at you and you laugh lightly, “I’m hungover… I just wanna lay back down and die."

"Bit dramatic don’t you think?” He asks.

You glare at him, “Says you.”

He raises his hands in a placating manner, “Completely correct, let’s get you back in bed hmm?”

The rest of your day is spent recuperating in bed, you’re in and out of sleep, sometimes only ever up long enough to eat or drink something. Johnny brings you… way too many snacks but he insisted on you eating, it was nice and also so much for your pounding head, you ended up asking him to leave you alone to rot for the day, which he reluctantly did. You think he’s still concerned you’ve not forgiven him and if you’re telling yourself the truth, while you really want to forgive him, it’s not that easy and your heart sits heavy, the ache he caused not forgotten.

You’re going to try really hard to move forward though because you can understand, while he didn’t go about it well… at all, he’s struggling with his feelings for you and you can understand that much. It also wouldn’t have helped that tension would’ve been high for him, with you out later than expected, no messages, only to find you and see you with a stranger, while your ex lurks in the background… hmmm, maybe Johnny held it together better than you’re giving him credit for.

✰ ✰ ✰

It’s late in the evening when you wake up properly, your heart racing as you sit up suddenly, you can’t quite remember what your dream was of but you remember it was not pleasant. Anxiety crawls up your spine and you think it may have had something to do with your ex, the unease that sits in the pit of your stomach reminds you of the way you felt while at work. You hug yourself, rocking back and forth for a moment, trying to calm down… it’s not helping.

Crawling out of bed, you head the few doors down to get to Johnny’s room, wanting to seek comfort from him. You knock lightly, trying to see if he’s awake, it’s late though so you doubt he’d still be up. You consider entering his room and waking him up anyways but you aren’t sure he’s been sleeping well lately so you turn around and head for the lounge room instead.

You grab the remote off the coffee table before flopping onto the couch, laying on your side, completely stretched out, you aren’t going to be able to sleep anymore so you might as well find something to watch and get comfortable. There isn’t much on at this time of night though, nothing good anyways.

Somehow, you find yourself heavily invested in the channel that only sells things, all advertisements for stuff that nobody feasibly needs or would use more than once but for some reason, you are completely involved in what the man is waffling on about. Why yes, you definitely do need a little bear named ‘Tiddy Bear’ for your seatbelt so it’s less annoying… you don’t own a car.

You’ve somehow become so absorbed in the crap commercials that you jump slightly when Johnny leans over you from behind the couch, “Holy– Don’t do that,” you gasp.

His voice is deep with sleep, “Sorry sweetness… but what the fuck are you watching?”

You state simply, “Tiddy bear,” and then point at the television.

Johnny sleepily looks where you’re pointing, squinting against the bright light, “…Right,” you can practically see the thought enter his head as soon as he thinks it, “You know… I could always be you–”

You groan at him, “–Shuddup!”

He laughs as he looks down at you, “You don’t even know what I was gonna say!”

“I’m fairly certain I did,” you raise a brow at him.

He wears a lazy smile as he rounds the couch, he taps your legs and you tuck them up so he can sit beside you. Once he’s seated, he pulls your legs into his lap so you’re stretched out again. His hands absentmindedly massage your calves, he watches the advertisement with you for a bit, a new one playing, something called the wearable towel, it looks like a dress… but towel material.

Johnny frowns at the infomercial, confused, “Seriously, doll, what the fuck are we watching?”

“Well, I couldn’t sleep, so I was watching some tv and somehow got really into the infomercials,” you shrug.

He puts all his attention on you, “Why couldn’t you sleep?”

You shrug again, “It was nothing, just a bad dream.”

You don’t look at him, still watching the lady talk about how annoying traditional towels are, Johnny squeezes your calf so you look at him, “Could’ve woken me up, if you wanted to talk about it.”

You hum at him, “I didn’t want to disturb you, I did knock… on your door, to see if you were awake.”

“Hell, sugar, next time just crawl into bed next to me, I really wouldn’t mind,” he smiles at you and then asks, “What was it about?” He keeps massaging your calves, fingers digging into the muscle, it’s nice.

“I don’t remember… but it was… scary,” you feel embarrassed to admit that, you’re a grown adult, it seems silly to be frightened by a dream.

He considers you for a moment, not really sure on what to say, “Yeah, sometimes it’s like that.”

“I just felt dumb, having a bad dream, it feels childish,” you sigh, frustrated with yourself.

“The feeling was real though, it’s not childish, I’ve had nightmares before.” He rests his head back on the couch, “You’ve had the most stressful time lately… I’m honestly surprised you’ve not had more nightmares.”

You watch him, he’s looking up at the ceiling, “I was scared,” you admit.

“That’s normal–”

“–No, not tonight, I mean at work, when he came in and stayed my whole shift,” Johnny looks to you, his attention focused solely on what you’re about to say, “I was scared but I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of effecting me… so I ignored him and I thought about coming back to you, I thought of how,” you take a breath and look away from him, “I thought of how safe you make me feel.”

He sounds emotional, “I make you feel safe?”

You look back to him, feeling bashful, “Johnny, you feel more like home to me than any place ever has…” You’re nervous, feeling open and vulnerable, but you add, “Yes, you feel safe, you feel like home.”

It feels like he looks at you for too long, his eyes looking over you, full of so many emotions that you can’t read. When he does speak, all he says is, “Move over.”

“What?”

“Move over, I’m getting in beside you,” he starts shuffling to lay down next to you on the couch.

You laugh, “Johnny, there is not enough room.”

“Yeah there is, lemme in,” he continues to lay down.

You roll your eyes but shuffle back as much as you can on the couch, your body close to slipping off the furniture entirely. He lays down on his side next to you, his arm coming around you, tugging you close and supporting you so you don’t fall off.

You look up at him, “Why are we doing this?”

He huffs at you, “I wanted to cuddle with you.”

He looks sleepy right now, it’s endearing, “Why so suddenly though?”

“You said something cute and it made me happy,” he presses his face into the crook of your neck, his breath against you makes your skin prick, “I’m glad I make you feel safe… and I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, having him at your place of work… I should’ve been there.”

“I don’t blame you for that, I didn’t tell you,” you reach up and comb your fingers through his hair, “I– I wanted to call you but I worry so much… I worry about how much I burden you.”

He presses a soft kiss to your neck, it sends a shiver down your spine; he pulls back to look at you properly, his arm holding you as close as he can, “You aren’t a burden to me,” he holds intense eye contact with you, trying to show you how serious he is with one look.

“I just don’t want to worry you with silly things,” you tuck your head into his chest.

He vibrates with a hum, “Well, for starters, being scared of your freaky ex who is stalking you… is decidedly not silly, secondly, I’d much rather you tell me about the silly things, I want you to tell me everything that worries you, I want to help… can’t do that if you don’t confide in me, sweetness.”

“I’ll talk to you more… but you have to promise to do the same, you keep so many things to yourself and I want to support you, however I can,” you mumble into his shirt.

His tone is light as he agrees, “Deal, now can I make out with you, or is this an inappropriate time to ask?”

You scoff at him but pull back and press a gentle kiss to his lips, he groans as you move back too soon, “All you get,” you snicker.

“Not kind at all,” He complains.

You give him another quick kiss, “Funny though.”

“So funny,” he repeats humourlessly, scowl on his face.

You laugh at him and his hand moves up your body to the back of your head, his mouth crashing onto yours, the sudden contact takes you by surprise. You sigh against him and he licks into your mouth, his kiss deep. Your leg moves to hook around his waist, pulling your lower half closer to his, he groans into the kiss, his hand moves from the back of your head, down your front and under your shirt. He gropes at your chest, fingers pinching your nipple, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger.

He moves his head down to your chest, pulling your shirt up and enveloping your nipple in the warmth of his mouth. His tongue flicks at you and you push towards him, soft sighs slip past your lips, your mind hazy. He bites at you lightly, his forehead resting against your sternum, he presses his face between your tits and sucks a hickey into the skin between them, his hand back to pawing at you.

He sighs against you, and then your world is spinning, he’s sitting up and taking you with him, you end up straddling him. His hands trail your body, tugging your shirt up and off your head, you lift your arms to help him. He leans forward and begins to leave more hickeys on you, marking your chest completely, your fingers thread through his hair, pleasured sighs leaving you.

He mumbles into your skin, “Take your pants off.”

You pull him back by his hair, “Excuse me?”

“Please?” He smiles at you. You look at him sceptically but he only continues to smile at you, “I’ll make it worth your while, promise.”

You concede and hop off his lap, pulling your pants off, you go to sit back on him but he tuts at you, “What?” You ask.

“Panties. Off.” His eyes are looking directly at your underwear, waiting for them to be gone.

You sway side to side, feeling timid but you comply and slip the garment down your legs, Johnny smiles brightly as you do as he asked. He makes grabby hands at you and you move closer to him, he grabs you and positions you over one of his thighs.

You’re a little confused, “What are you doi–”

“–Want you to ride my thigh, doll,” his hands encourage you to straddle his thigh properly.

“Johnny… that’s embarrassing,” you pout at him slightly.

“What happened to my eager little thing hmmm?” He grips your hips and starts dragging you back and forth on the material of his pants, “Promise it’ll feel good.”

You twitch on him slightly, it feels depraved to rut into his thigh while he watches but you start grinding down onto him lightly, your movements still uncertain. Johnny’s hands help facilitate your movements, wanting to see you do it yourself but also wanting control of the situation. Your cunt begins leaking onto him, the material of his sleep pants darkening under you, shudders run down your back and muffled whimpers get caught in your throat.

Your hands reach up to his shoulders, holding onto him to ground yourself, your fingers digging into his skin. His eyes watch how your pussy grinds into his thigh, smile still present on his face, absorbed in how you’re getting his leg all slick, the grey of his sweats now a dark grey. The friction the material of his pants give you is driving you insane, your need clawing up your spine, Johnny can tell you’re getting needier, based on how your eyes get glassy and your hips rut down into him more freely.

“There ya fuckin go, thas a good girl,” he comments.

His hands push you into his thigh firmer, the sudden change has you moaning out to him. You fall forward and tuck into his neck, your whimpers are breathed against him and he grunts at how wet you’re making his pants, at the little noises you’re making against him. You’re doing a lot of the work yourself at the moment, in the back of your mind you’re embarrassed at how you hump down onto him, at how damp you’re getting everything but Johnny seems so fucking pleased about it all.

You twitch into him and moan at the friction on your clit, the sound spurs him on, his hands grip your hips tightly and he moves you back and forth on his thigh quickly, your slick making the slide obscenely easy. Johnny’s own eyes are glassy, dizzy from how much you’re leaking on him, he moves one hand to pull your head back to look at him, he’s in awe of the fucked out look on your face.

“Mmm you always make the prettiest faces for me,” he compliments before taking your lips in his.

The kiss is messy, his lips demanding and desperate, his tongue in your mouth searching, consuming. He swallows down all the sounds you make for him, his own sounds shared in the kiss, when you part for a moment, strings of your saliva connect your mouths together. The evidence of how depraved in manner he kisses you sets you on fire, a whimper pulled from your chest. He smiles lazily at you, his thumb rubs over your lips, spreading your shared spit over them.

He pushes his thumb into your mouth and you take it, sucking on it gently, his eyes look wild as he watches you, “Need you to cum on my thigh, sugar.”

Your eyebrows pull up at him, your cunt clenching on nothing, your fingers dig into him as you continue to rock back and forth on him. Your stomach tensing, he pulls his thumb from your mouth and runs it down your chin, sternum, torso, all the way down to your clit, his thumb rubs circles into you, it makes you twitch against him. Johnny closes his eyes and seemingly remembers his goal very suddenly because he grabs you tightly again and starts forcefully dragging you back and forth, his leg bouncing, adding to the stimulation.

You gasp out to him, “Hah– Johnny~”

“Jus take it like this, cum like this, want it all over my leg, doll, want it stained into my fuckin pants.” His eyes are honed in on your cunt again, involved in how you’re dripping on him, how easy you slide on him.

Your voice pitches higher, “Johnny– I– mmph–”

He encourages you, already knowing, “Go on, soak my thigh, sweetness.”

You gasp and shudder against him, your hips desperately grinding down into him, your high so close. Johnny’s intense, greedy gaze on you is what undoes you, you twitch on him as you cum, pathetic whimpers sound from you as you rut down into his leg, he supports you as you finish, helping you ride out your high, feeding you praises about how well you did and how cute you look.

Once you’ve come down though, he keeps moving you into him, enjoying the way your body jolts in sensitivity at the action. You slump forward into him, small whines leaving your lips as he overstimulates you. He turns his face into your neck and lightly bites you, your cunt clamps down onto nothing, the pain shoots straight to your drenched pussy, a sad little moan slipping from you.

Johnny’s hands rub up and down your back, soothing you, “How you think you’re ever gonna be able to take my dick when you get fucked out this easily is beyond me.”

“I could take it,” you argue.

You can feel his smile against your skin, “I’m not so sure.” He pulls your face back so he can see you properly, “Yeah… I’ve missed that.”

You’re kind of hazy, mind making static noise, “Missed what?”

His smile turns devilish, “That cute little fucked out look you get on your face when I make you cum, a sight for sore eyes, doll.” You don’t get to say anything back, he picks you up and carries you with him back to his room, “Bet you’ll sleep fuckin fantastic now.”

You giggle against him because yeah, this might’ve done the trick.

✰ ✰ ✰

When you wake in the morning, you’re alone in Johnny’s bed, you lay still for a few more moments, enjoying the warmth of his large bed. You assume he’s gone to work; he’s probably messaged you but your phone is in the guest room and you don’t really feel like moving right now. You feel warm and safe wrapped up in his sheets, sleeping next to him was the best you had slept in weeks and you think he’s going to have to put up with you being in his bed more often now.

Eventually, after a few more moments of tossing around in his bed, you get up and wander down the hall to grab your phone. You were right, he had texted you saying where he was, he had to head in early and didn’t want to wake you. He should be back at a normal time though so you’re happy for that, it gets lonely in his big apartment.

You also have a message from your manager, telling you that you’ve got a few more days off… which is, surprising to say the least. Michael might have had something to do with that, which is kind but you need to figure out a long-term plan, on if you want to stay or go. Ideally, your ex would leave you alone, or the cops would arrest him for trashing your apartment but seeing as how they’re not all that useful, you don’t really know what to do.

At least now you have a few more days to consider your options, you were not looking forward to your afternoon shift. You’ll have to thank Michael next time you’re on with him, you don’t know what he said but you’re trusting that he didn’t divulge anything too personal, you didn’t even want to tell him about your ex, it was just unavoidable.

The day is uneventful for the most part, you clean the kitchen and guest room, you also make Johnny’s bed, you’re still a guest, it’s only polite that you clean up after yourself. There isn’t much else for you to do though, so you’re back on the couch, scrolling your socials and watching something inane as background noise. It shouldn’t be too much longer until Johnny gets back, you’re hoping anyways, you’re bored and want to talk to him regarding what you should do about your ex.

Speaking of… a text from that awful little man comes through, you forgot you hadn’t blocked him, you click on the notification and read it. Obviously, it’s all senseless anger, mostly name calling, not at all pleasant to read but after having him trash your home, this is not as scary as it would’ve been a while ago. You consider blocking him but then you think, this may help you actually.

He continues blowing up your phone on and off all afternoon, you end up silencing his messages so you can use your phone without being yelled at through the screen. It shouldn’t be but some of the messages are hilariously laughable, the fact you were with him for a whole year and he was like this? It’s almost inconceivable to you, how could you miss so much of his problem behaviour and why has he gotten so stuck on you.

One of his messages in particular sticks with you, ‘I deserved better.’ It makes you scoff, what a jackass. The rest aren’t as funny, they’re threatening and abusive and if you spent all your time reading them it would probably induce a panic attack.

Brushing it off, you put your phone down and involve yourself in the show you had put on hours ago, whatever his problem is, is not your fault and you shouldn’t bend over backwards trying to understand the motivations of someone so clearly mentally unstable. It’s not your fault, it’s something you have to repeat to yourself, so you don’t forget… because it’s not your fault and you won’t let him make you think that it is.

The front door rattles as Johnny unlocks it and walks into the apartment, you call out to him, “Welcome back!”

His shoes clack against the floors as he walks to where you are, “Hey, doll,” he pats the top of your head from behind the couch.

You bend your neck to look back at him, “How was your day?”

“…Annoying but thankfully shorter than some others,” he smiles at you, “How was your day?”

“Good, uneventful for the most part… well except…” You trail off as you watch him.

He steps over the back of the couch, it’s quite the show how his footing wobbles a bit on the plush cushions, you give him a quizzical look as he sits beside you, “What? Couldn’t be bothered to walk round.”

Laughing and shaking your head, you say, “You would’ve expended more effort climbing the couch than walking around it.”

He brushes you off, “Yeah whatever, just tell me about your day, what were you gonna say?”

Were you going to say something, “Hmm?”

“Uneventful day, except…?” He prompts.

You begin, “Ah, yeah, my ex started blowing up my phone, harassing me today–”

Johnny’s face twists into a disgusted scowl, “–You’ve not blocked him?”

You squint at him, silently admonishing him for interrupting you before you could finish, “Well, I had honestly forgotten to, he hadn’t even reached out until now but I think it may be helpful, in getting a restraining order on him, that way I can go to work and if he shows up the cops will actually have to do something about it.”

He considers your words for a moment, “Hmm, not a bad idea, want my help with that?”

“Please,” you smile sweetly at him.

He pinches your cheek and tugs lightly, “Of course, though…” he lets go of your cheek and you rub at it, “…I would prefer he were dead.”

You can’t help but laugh at the abruptness of his statement, “Right, well… I guess you’ll just have to settle for this.”

“Whatever makes life easier for you, doll,” he opens his arms for you to hug into his side, which you do.

He wraps his arms around you and holds you tight, you sigh against him, “I really just want him to leave me alone, so I can forget about him and move on, I don’t want to confront him, I don’t want to fight him, I just want to be left alone.”

“I understand that, we’ll make it happen,” he kisses the top of your head and you believe him.

You cuddle on the couch for a bit, enjoying his comfort but then your phone rings, checking the screen you see it’s a friend from college, “I should take this,” you tell Johnny.

He nods at you easily and lets you get up.

Taking your phone, you walk off to the guest room to get some privacy, “Hey! It’s been a while, what’s up?”

Her voice is chirpy through the phone, “It has been and nothing much, I just wanted to see if you were free to come round mine tomorrow? I need help with an assignment for that one class… with that one professor…”

You can practically feel how her eyes glaze over, you’ve already taken the class and catch on immediately, “Yeah I’m more than happy to help, I’m not sure how much help I’ll be… I’m still surprised I passed.”

She laughs from the other end, “But you did and at this rate, I’m closer to running away and living by the seaside on an isolated island than I am to passing this course.”

“Well then, I can be around tomorrow? Like, maybe midday? Can’t have you moving away, you’re like the only college friend I have… that I like.”

“Sounds good and I feel exactly the same about you,” you both share another giggle but she trails off, “…Have you been okay?”

You’re a bit confused by her sudden question, “Yeah I’ve been all good, why?”

She seems hesitant, like she’s not sure how to word what she wants to say, “Well… I’ve been hearing some… things… about you and it’s got me a little confused.”

You frown, “What kind of things?”

She sighs, “People in our circle have been saying you were cheating on your ex and that you’re broken up?”

“I mean we are broken up… but I did not cheat on him, I ended things with him for different reasons but if anyone cheated in that relationship, it was definitely him,” your fingers pinch the bridge of your nose, you have a feeling you already know who’s spreading the rumours.

“Yeah, I didn’t believe it but it’s really odd… that people are saying that, I always thought he was a little… freaky, so I got worried hearing about the rumours.”

You huff quietly, mostly to yourself, “Thanks for asking though… and not just assuming,”

“I like to think I know you well enough to discern what rumours are and aren’t true,” she lightly chuckles and it makes you smile.

Scratching the back of your neck, you ask, “A lot has happened but I can tell you about it all tomorrow?”

“I’d like that, you know I’m always here for you right?”

“I know,” you smile lopsidedly, you think you may need to get better at confiding in others.

You both share your goodbyes and hang up, you’re glad she reached out to you, honestly, if she wasn’t campus living and you didn’t have Johnny, you probably would have stayed with her, she’s one of the closest friends you have. It’ll be nice, telling a friend about everything.

Distantly you wonder how long the rumours have been running around and if this may be why you got ditched by those girls at the party and still haven’t heard from them, even after messaging them asking if they were okay.

This is such a frustrating position to be in but you think, if anyone believes the rumours without even asking you about them then they aren’t people you really want to be friends with anyways, doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt though. The only thing you’re really worried about is if Johnny is included in the rumours, you don’t want to ruin his career, or hurt his image, at the moment the rumour doesn’t seem to mention him but you don’t know how long it will stay like that.

You waddle through the apartment and stand in front of Johnny, “There are rumours about me circling,” you pout.

“What?” He’s confused and you don’t blame him.

You slump onto the couch, your shoulder bumping into his, “Saying I cheated on my ex and that’s why we are broken up.”

He grunts, “What a load of bullshit,” his arm comes around you, pulling you close, “Are you okay?”

Sighing, you say, “Yeah, I mean, if people believe it that’s not my fault, I’m just so exhausted, it feels like it’s one awful thing after another at the moment.”

He turns to you and kisses the side of your head, “Would you feel better if I fucked you?”

Your voice feels small, “Yes.”

“That’s too bad,” he smiles against you.

You pout at him, “Don’t kick me when I’m down.”

He chuckles, “How about I cook you dinner instead?”

You smile at him, “That would be nice too, I guess.”

“Could you help?” He’s worried about it not being edible.

You let out an airy laugh, “Sure.”

✰ ✰ ✰

When you had told Johnny you were going out today to see a friend, he couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed, he has today off and he was hoping to spend it with you. He wasn’t about to stop you though, you need to see your friends, he’s glad to see you’re willing to talk to someone else about this. Sometimes, he worries that if he hadn’t heard your ex over the phone that first time, you wouldn’t have told him anything and that’s a scary thought to him.

He's left in the apartment alone and he’s bored, you’ve not even been gone long and he feels like a dog waiting for its owner to come home. Maybe he should feel a little pathetic about it but he’s pretty happy about where is, he’s scared… about the future but he’s also looking forward to his relationship with you. All he has to do is keep himself busy until you get back and he’s golden.

Some of your clothes are piled in his room, ever since he took you to bed with him a couple nights ago, you’ve been sleeping in here with him instead. Not that he minds, in fact, he’s got the opposite of complaints, the fact that you’re staying close to him and confiding in him, it makes him ridiculously happy.

The bag filled with your clothes sits on the floor in the corner, you’ve been here for a while now and you still won’t unpack, that bothers him. He won’t unpack for you, that’s invasive and will also probably upset you but he will pick up the clothes you left on the floor this morning, he’s just going to take them down the hall so they can get cleaned with his but as he picks them up, your panties slip from the pile.

He feels so ridiculously ashamed of how incredibly quickly his dick chubs up at seeing just your underwear, they’re cute… and now he’s thinking of you in them and nothing but. He rolls his shoulders and looks up to the ceiling, trying to ignore the growing ache in his cock but now all he can think about is you and how wet and needy you get for him.

Shamefully, he drops everything onto the ground and picks up your panties, his mind running wild. He feels like a fucking creep how he shoves them into his face and inhales deeply, his mouth salivating, he wishes you were home, he wants to fuck you with his tongue, it feels heavy in his mouth as his need grows.

His other hand slides down his body and undoes his belt before unbuttoning his slacks, he shoves his hand into his pants and groans as he grabs himself over his underwear. Your scent overwhelms his senses and he can’t hold off, he tugs his boxers and pants down, only enough so his cock is free, he’s desperate now, his dick twitching in need.

If he weren’t so stupefied by his thoughts of you, he’d probably recognise this as the creepy behaviour it is but right now he doesn’t care, he didn’t get to cum the other night after making you finish on his thigh and he’s been hesitant to try anything since but he’s so wound up it’s insane. After you had fallen asleep next to him that night, he’d pitifully moaned when he squeezed the base of his cock, just to get some kind of relief.

He's honestly not sure how long he’ll be able to hold off on fucking you, he wants it to be special for you, he wants it to be memorable, he doesn’t want to be just some guy you give your virginity to and regret… but in saying that… the need that claws at his insides every time he makes your pretty, cunt cum for him, is getting harder to control.

His hand not holding your panties grips onto the dresser for balance, his other hand reaches down to his cock, his tip leaks precum into your underwear, they’re soft as he moves them with his fist up and down his shaft. He sighs pathetically at the feeling of jerking off into your panties, his mind reeling with what it would be like to taste you, he wants to cum inside you and then lick you clean. His head falls back and he groans at the thought, his muscles twitch as he thinks of how pathetically you’d whine for him, your complacency with all the filthy things he does to you always makes his head spin.

With the amount he’s leaking into your panties, the glide is easy and his hand speeds up, a gasped grunt escaping him. He’s already on the edge of cumming just from thinking about tongue fucking you, he talks big game about you not being able to take him but he’s concerned that as soon as he sinks balls deep in you, he’s going to cum.

His chin falls to his chest and he watches how he fucks into your panties, his eyes are glazed over and his hand moves faster, he needs to cum, he knows it won’t satisfy him, not how he wants but if he doesn’t see your underwear coated in his cum, he thinks he may die. He thinks of you watching him cum into your panties, how embarrassed and turned on you’d be, it drives him wild and his cock jerks as he shoots his load into the fabric of your underwear. He groans deeply, his hips spasming, thrusting forward to ride out the euphoria.

He sighs, temporarily satisfied but his thoughts are still plagued by complete filth, he wants to make your pussy a complete mess for him. He wipes up his cum with your panties and tugs his pants back up, he’s going to need to calm down, he can wait for you to get home.

✰ ✰ ✰

The uber back to Johnny’s is boring, you’d had a good time with your friend though, you both pulled your hair out over the assignment and over your ex… but it was good, talking to someone. She was supportive and kind and she’s offered to sneak you into campus living with her if you need, which made you giggle. You told her about your plans to hopefully get a restraining order though, so you think you should be fine to go home soon.

It turns out, those girls… the ones you were at the party with, they’re apparently helping feed the flames of the rumour going around about you. At least you weren’t all that close to them, they just gave you a reason to go out and get drunk for a night. Whatever, you don’t want to put any more energy into all this, you’re going to go back to Johnny’s, you’re going to hang out with him and you’re going to trust that the court will let you get a restraining order against your ex.

When you get back to Johnny’s, it’s eerily quiet, you were expecting him to be watching a movie or listening to music… anything but it’s silent in the apartment and it’s freaking you out a little bit. Walking further into the main living area, you place your bag down and continue to wander around, looking for him.

You call out for him, “Johnny?”

He stumbles out of his room pretty quickly at the sound of your voice, “You’re back! How was it? Did you have fun?”

You squint at him a bit, his mannerisms odd, “…Yeah, it was good, I’ve missed her so it was nice… catching up.”

He fidgets in front of you a bit, like he’s antsy, like this is all a formality and he doesn’t really care, “That’s good! I’m glad you met up with her, I’ve been worried about you a bit lately…” His eyes roam over you, his fingers tapping against his skin.

“…Johnny?” He hums at you in reply and you ask, “Are you okay? You seem… on edge.”

His eyes flick back to yours, “Yeah, doll, I’m groovy, easy going,” he gives you a big cartoonish smile, it’s a little strained.

Frowning, you walk closer to examine him and he intakes a small, sharp breath, “Are you sure? Because you’re really twitchy right now.”

“Did anything else happen? Do you want to talk?” He’s clearly changing the subject.

You decide to let him, “No? I’m fine, we talked, I helped her with her assignment, nothing special,” you shrug at him.

“Okay, good,” is all he says in response. Just as you’re about to ask him what he means by that, his hands are on you, pulling you close, his mouth hovering right over yours, “I missed you, sweetness… bad.”

Your voice shakes slightly, the proximity getting to you, making your skin all hot, “I’ve not been gone lo– mmph–”

He cuts you off, his lips on yours are demanding, his kiss searing, like he’s been waiting his whole life to kiss you like this. You reach up and grab a hold of his shirt, hands fisting the fabric, trying to ground yourself. His hands are on you… everywhere, they grope and pull at the skin of your hips, at the fabric of your shirt, even palming your breasts, his touch is heated and needy, it’s making you dizzy. A small, whimpered moan leaves you involuntarily and he takes the chance to lick into your mouth, deepening the kiss.

With how he’s kissing you and how he’s touching you, your faculties are eluding you, your mind foggy. You’re the one to pull back first, needing air. Resting your forehead against his chest, you catch your breath and attempt to think straight again. Which is, surprisingly difficult, your eyes feel wet, everything about you feels malleable right now, he could probably say the stupidest thing on Earth and you’d still be weak in the knees with hearts in your eyes.

You lightly giggle against him, “Feeling needy?”

He grunts at you, “Doll, you got no fuckin clue.”

You think you may have some clue, “Bold statement coming from the man who still won’t fuck me even after I have asked so nicely, so many times.”

He rolls his eyes at you, only a little bit amused, you’re waiting for his smartass reply when he suddenly picks you up and throws you over his shoulder, walking back to his room with you.

“Wow, talk about desperate,” you joke.

“Keep talking, sweetness, enjoy the upper hand while you can still talk coherently,” he drops you onto his mattress, his form standing over you from the foot of the bed.

You know he’s right, and yet, the need to challenge him like he doesn’t render you speechless from a kiss hits you anyways, “Cocky, much?”

“Could say the same thing to you, at least mine isn’t false confidence,” he winks at you and begins unbuttoning his shirt.

You lean on your elbows and watch him intently, his skin slowly being revealed to you, he’s being a tease on purpose. Summoning your courage, you tug your pants down your legs and toss them off the bed, not stopping, you tug your shirt off completely too, your bra following not long after. Johnny stops what he’s doing, his shirt fully undone but still on.

Smiling up at him, you ask, “Something wrong, sugar?”

He rolls his head back, a sigh coming from him, “Feeling mean today?” He asks, shrugging his shirt off his shoulders.

“Only a little bit,” you’re honestly a little bit shocked with yourself, you feel nervous and exposed.

He climbs onto the mattress and you shuffle back as he moves up, his form large over yours, he leans down and places a hot kiss on your lips, “Gonna stick my tongue in your pretty pussy, babe.”

Somehow, the crudeness of his words always shock you, “Okay.”

His smile at your reply is wolfish, giving you one last kiss before he’s moving back down the bed and pushing his face into your panties. You squeak and jump at the feeling, he only hums against you, seemingly pleased at your reaction.

“Wanted to put my mouth on you all day,” he mumbles against your core.

You can only gasp in reply, his mouth opening and latching onto your cunt over your underwear, his tongue wetting the fabric, his nose rubbing into your clit. His hands hold you open and you fall flat onto the bed, not able to hold yourself up. When he detaches it’s only to pull your panties down your legs and off, his eyes are wild and he stumbles over his movements in his rush.

He's right back in between your legs as soon as he can be, his mouth not wasting anytime in how he immediately licks at you, fucking his tongue into your hole. A hand reaches down and threads through his hair, you give it a light tug and he moans against you. Your back arches for him, hips moving against his face slightly, your body moving on its own accord.

Johnny’s own hips covertly rut into the bed below, his senses overtaken by you, how you smell and taste, it’s making him dizzy, he’s been looking forward to this all day. He’s practically drooling into your cunt, his skin on fire, how you writhe and twitch on the mattress isn’t helping. Knowing he’s making you a needy, whimpering mess is making his cock ache even worse than it did this morning.

You’re gasping and whining for him and he moans into your pussy, his hips humping into the mattress in a more obvious manner as his desperation grows. His hands push on the back of your thighs, lifting your legs up and giving himself more access to your gooey cunt. He’s eating you like he might die if he doesn’t, like you’re his only salvation and you’re already so close to cumming for him because of it.

The grip you have on his hair tightens and he borderline whimpers into you, his movements not ceasing, if anything they pick up, his tongue moving quicker. Your stomach twitches and pulls, your orgasm fast approaching, Johnny can tell, he knows by how slick you get, how pitched your whines get.

You want to tell him, “Johnny, mmm–”

He grunts into your cunt, already aware and actively trying to have you finishing on his tongue, he wants it all. He wants you to cum directly into his mouth, he wants to drink it all down and then he wants to shove his tongue in your mouth and make you suck on it, tasting yourself through him. His cock twitches in his pants, his mind moving a million miles a minute, shamefully, he’s close to cumming in his pants.

Suddenly, he shakes his head against you, his nose moving over your clit, the stimulation shocks your orgasm from you, stumbled syllables vaguely reminiscent of Johnny’s name tumble from your lips, sounds that he relishes in, his hips stutter against the mattress as your cum floods his senses. The way your pussy spasms and creams on his tongue undoing him completely, his cum no doubt staining the front of his slacks, shivers running down his spine.

The orgasm he gives you and how taken by surprise you were, renders you wordless and thoughtless, only the sounds of the blood pumping in your ears can be heard, everything else is like white noise. You huff and shake slightly, the buzz in your veins delicious, he was right, about rendering you completely speechless, you knew he would be.

He licks at your pussy a bit longer, until you’re jerking away from him, too sensitive, you close your legs, knees touching, giving yourself some reprieve. Johnny pulls up and off the bed, once he’s standing, he yanks his pants off. You don’t miss the way his slacks and boxers are damp with his cum, he’s made a complete mess of himself.

You feel shy, “You came from that?” You’re completely shocked that he’s managed to finish just from humping the mattress and tongue fucking you.

“Got such a pretty little pussy, I’d cum from watching you play with yourself,” he plays it off easily, not an ounce of shame in his bones at the moment, only a large grin plastered on his face.

The embarrassment his words cause you is immense; your face feels warm and you can’t tell if it’s from your orgasm or what he’s just said. He crawls back on the bed, his cock already hardening again, apparently… he’s not done. His cock is shiny and slick from his own cum, his tip red and already leaking again, it’s making your head spin.

Your voice feels small, you feel small, “Are you gonna fuck me?”

“No.” His answer is dead on, no room for argument, as per usual when it comes to this topic.

“Then what–”

“–Gonna play with you how I like,” he strokes his cock as he looks down at you, “Open your legs, sugar.” You pout slightly, and he rolls his eyes at you, “Come on, sweetness, I’ll make you feel oh so good. Promise.”

You scowl at him lightly but open your legs for him, one of his hands moves to hold you open further. “You said you would fuck me,” you complain.

“I said maybe,” he counters.

He doesn’t wait for you to continue arguing with him, already moving his tip through your folds, he skates against your wet pussy and it has him shivering. He leans down over you, the length of his fat cock resting against your cunt, he holds himself up over you by his forearms. His hips begin slowly grinding down into you, everything is so slick and wet, your skin slipping against each other. He plants a kiss on your lips, his tongue entering your mouth straight away, wanting you to taste yourself. You moan into him, soft sighs also leaving you.

When he pulls back, you try again, “I want you, please.”

He groans, his hips stuttering, “You have me right now.”

“Want you inside me,” you nearly sob.

“Fuck– Not today,” his voice is hoarse.

“Always– mmph– always feel so empty,” your eyes are wet and glassy as you look at him, not so silently pleading, “Ngh– Wan you to fill me, please, Johnny.”

“Fucking– no, hnng– why– god– why do you want your first time to be now? Of all times?” He huffs against your skin, his cock painfully erect, throbbing and leaky for you.

“Don’t care mmph– don’t care when or where, just who,” a tear slips down your cheek, your need practically tearing you apart at the seams.

Johnny nearly whimpers, his cock jerking against you, his tip sliding over your clit makes your skin itch, the desire to be fucked full of him overwhelming you. It’s cruel, it feels heinously cruel how deprived of him you are, is it so much to ask to be so full of him you’re sobbing? You don’t think so, your breath stutters as he continues rocking back and forth between your folds.

“I care when and how,” he bites back, nearly snarling at you.

You share your frustration with him, loose lipped in your pleasure and need, “I jus wan –ngh– you to fuck me blind, I can’t, I need it– mmph– Johnny please!”

He actually does whimper this time, “Fuck– doll, you can’t– don’t do this to me,” he’s in such a weak state today, his desperation for you driving him insane.

The way you’re begging for him to stuff you full of his dick, is going to kill him, he already wants so badly to feel your tight, wet cunt wrapped around him but he wants to do it right. Your begging is chipping away at his resolve, his mind filling with images of how he’d stretch you out on his cock, how your eyes would roll back in your head as he fucks you just right.

His cock is making an absolute mess of you both, your lower halves completely coated in slick and cum, his head ducks down to look between the two of you. The underside of his cock glazed with your cum nearly sends him into a frenzy, he moans at the sight, forehead falling to rest on your sternum.

You hook your legs up on either side of his hips and he chokes at the change, his thrusts speeding up, one of his hands reaches down and digs into the fat of your thigh, nail biting into the skin. You gasp and whine, your mind slipping from you, you want to beg him more, you want to plead with him to have mercy but you’re not sure you can find the words anymore.

You sob over and over, begging him, “Please, please, please, please–”

He looks back at you, eyes sharp, “You’ll take what I fuckin give you or I’ll never touch you again,” he cautions, his tone harsh.

“Johnny~” you whimper, eyes large and dazed.

He tuts at you, his tone mocking, “Poor thing, not being satisfied sexually?”

You could almost cry, his words feel so mean.

He glares at you, “Know what I did while you were gone, sugar?”

You shake your head at him, a gasp leaving you as his cock head catches on your clit.

“Got me so fuckin– so needy,” he ridicules your usage of the word from earlier, “that I got hard at the sight of your panties on my bedroom floor.”

A strained and small noise leaves you, not at all expecting him to admit to something like that. His hand holds onto the side of your face and tilts you up to look at him, he’s looking down his nose at you and it really shouldn’t arouse you as much as it does. His hips don’t stop, never stopping, he couldn’t, not even to punish you, it’d be hell for him too. He needs this, it’s as close as he’s going to get to fucking you and he’d have to be put in the fucking ground before he’d remove himself from you, he needs you to cum on his cock like this.

“Wanna know what I did with them?” He asks suddenly.

You’re distant but not gone and you nod in response, curious.

He smiles evilly and leans down to whisper into your ear, “I fucked them, tugged on my cock until I came in them. Only thinking about your cunt and how fucking divine you taste, how badly I wanted to stick my tongue in you,” He licks the shell of your ear, “I think– ngh– that you’re getting off easy.”

“Johnny,” you whine at him, the only thing he’s succeeded in doing is making your hornier for him.

“One day. One day I will fuck you open on my cock but today and right now, you’re gonna fuckin behave and cum like this,” it’s a promise, one he intends to keep.

A shiver runs down your spine at how low and authoritative his tone is, a pathetic moan leaving you, one that Johnny doesn’t miss, not if his smile is anything to go by. He doubles his efforts into sliding his cock through your folds, his hips moving quicker, more weight put behind them, it makes you whine and wriggle under him. The hand he had on your face moves back to your hip and grips you tight, forcing you to stay still for him.

He's moving desperately, wanting so badly for you to cum like this, he wants to fuck his whole cock into you but is too damn stubborn to do it now, he doesn’t want your first time to be like this. His abs clench and twitch, his own end fast approaching him, his head leans down to your neck and remembers the other night, he pays extra attention to how close you’re getting, pressing soft kisses to your neck as he continues thrusting against you.

Your pussy is throbbing for him, you’re so unbelievable close and it has you seeing stars, Johnny can tell you’re right on the edge and just as you’re about to cum, he bites into the junction between your neck and shoulder, harder than the other night. Your cunt jumps at the shock of pain and you moan pitifully loud, tears that had been sitting in your water line slip down your cheeks as you spasm and cum for Johnny. He groans at the sounds you’re making for him, at the way your cunt gushes with your orgasm, making an absolute mess of yourself and his dick.

He holds off to let you ride out your high and then he’s pulling back onto his knees, jerking his cock while watching the way your pussy clenches on nothing, he whimpers and wishes he was fucking you full. In just this moment, he wishes he were a worse man but he settles for this, he fists his cock, and just as he’s about to cum he notches his tip at your entrance, not pushing in at all, just resting it there, his cum entering you as much as it can from this position.

You wriggle your hips at him, pushing down slightly, his hand immediately shoots out to push you down, knowing you’d absolutely attempt to take him all, even if it hurt. He can’t help how aroused that thought alone makes him, you’re willing to hurt yourself to take him all and it tugs at something ugly and primal inside him.

After he’s dumped his load on and partially in you, he pulls back, watching the way his cum has coated you. His finger moves to collect it and he begins pushing it inside you, his finger stretching you open as he stuffs you full of his cum.

The grip you have on him is making him lose his mind, “God, you’re so fucking tight.” He groans.

You can’t offer much else but blabbered words, nothing you say very coherent, not for lack of trying though.

Johnny only chuckles, amused by how stupid you are right now, he’s not able to control himself and he begins opening you up on both of his fingers, fucking you with them. His cum making it easy, his only aim was to fuck it into you but now he wants you cumming again, the sounds you make when you cum, they’re something he hopes he never forgets. He’s playing with you, his fingers leaving to spread his cum around some more before re-entering and pulling you apart by the very fibre of your being.

You’re whimpering at him, trying to tell him you’re sensitive, that it’s too much, that you’re going to cry but he either doesn’t understand or doesn’t care and based by how pleased he looks when you begin sobbing for him, you’d safely assume it’s the latter.

He smiles brilliantly at you, “You’re such a pretty doll.”

It’s too much, “I can’t– ngh–”

“–Hmmm? What was that?” He’s taunting you; he knows what you were going to say.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head, another orgasm already fast approaching you, sadly you think it’s significantly spurned on by how cruel he’s being to you. Your body shakes, your legs try to close but he holds them open easily, his eyes intently watching how you take his fingers.

“Sucking me right back in, got such a needy pussy, I swear,” his fingers move quicker, stroking into one spot that has you gasping out a shocked moan, “Making such a fuckin mess, sweetness, can you hear how fuckin messy you are, hmm?”

You can, the obscene noises of your shamefully wet cunt fill the room and you still find it in yourself to be embarrassed, even when reduced to a sobbing, whimpering, state. Your arm moves to cover your face and Johnny tuts at you, disapproving of the action.

He directs you, “Wanna see your pretty face, doll, keep looking right. at. me.”

Forcing yourself, you look at him, your eyes barely able to stay open, everything you see is blurry anyways. Johnny moves his thumb to circle your clit, you’re sensitive and it makes you jump, your instinct to move away, not that you get very far. He is insistent, his hand never slowing and his thumb never moving, the added stimulation has your stomach doing somersaults.

Your cunt clenches down on his fingers and Johnny groans at you, “Atta girl, there you fuckin go,” his voice is soft, encouraging.

Your orgasm wracks over your body, mind hazy and nowhere within reach, everything you moan out isn’t even close to sounding like words, the only coherent thing being Johnny’s name. Your back arches and he pins you back down again, his fingers and thumb still moving, aiding in your orgasm. It’s becoming too much but you can’t even move away from him, only able to take the overstimulation until he’s satisfied. Everything is… dark and you can’t hear a damn thing.

He does eventually show you mercy, removing his fingers from your pussy, he taps your clit a few times just to watch how you jump and spasm at the contact though, and then he really does pull back. His eyes stay on your cunt though, watching you for a moment before his gaze wanders all over your body, taking in how blissed and fucked out you look.

Wistfully, he murmurs, “I’m gonna shove my cock so deep inside you, you’ll feel me in your stomach.”

“Johnny–”

“–Not now but one day,” he laughs airily, leaning down to kiss you tenderly on the lips.

He gets off the bed and pulls on some pants, leaving to grab a cloth and water, you lay on his mattress completely gone, not a single thought in your head. When he comes back, he cleans you up and makes you drink the water.

“You make me drink a lot of water,” you mumble around the rim of the glass.

He’s watching you, completely charmed by you even though you’re a naked mess drinking water in his bed, “Need you to stay hydrated, don’t want you passing out on me.”

“Keep making me cum like that and I just might,” you pass him the almost empty glass and he places it on the nightstand. He hands you one of his t-shirts and you put it on, appreciating the cover.

“So… you’re into biting, huh?” He’s teasing you, his grin large.

You pout at him, “Don’t be mean… panty thief.”

“Oh, how you wound me, sugar,” his hands dramatically clasp at his chest over his heart. You roll your eyes at him and he instead asks, “Wanna watch a movie?”

“I am not moving,” you say, stretching your achy muscles out.

He offers, “What if I carry you?”

“…I could be amicable to that.”

“Yeah, I fuckin bet,” he chuckles but carries you to the lounge anyways.

The movie you end up watching is one of his, which should be a shock to no one, it’s not like you’re entirely conscious of the plot though, you’re still off in the clouds. Something Johnny admonishes you for, “Pay attention!”

You argue back, “I’m tired, plus I’ve seen this one before!”

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” he jokes.

“I could say the same to you,” you sigh, snuggling into his side, he wraps his arm around you and holds you close.

This is the most peaceful you have felt in a while, you feel safe and cared for and you think, you could stay like this forever.

✰ ✰ ✰

Thank you for reading it all !!!!! I know it was quite a lot to get through >v< Let me know your thoughts/feelings and reach out if you have questions !!! ily and have a beautiful day/night <33

#johnny cage x reader #johnny cage x reader smut #johnny cage smut #johnny cage mk1 #johnny cage x you #mk1 smut #mk smut

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chrisevansonly · 6 months

Note

could i please request a lewis hamilton fic based on this scene in the new Beckham documentary of him and victoria dancing in their kitchen, maybe it got recorded and social media blew up. Thank youu!

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJTquTfF/

my first lewis request🥹🥹 this makes it feel special to blurb it!!!! idk why but i imagined dancing in the kitchen to valentine by laufey so listen to it if you so wish! i hope you enjoy

the kitchen was your favourite spot to be, cooking had been a passion of yours for years, and your boyfriend lewis always invited you over to his flat to let you cook for him, knowing his kitchen was a dream come true for you. you’d set your phone up to try a new recipe, music playing softly through the speaker on the far counter.

“hi darling”

looking over your shoulder at lewis you smiled softly, his lips pressing a kiss to your cheek

“hi my love, is the music too loud? i know you were working a little bit upstairs”

he was quick to shake his head

“not at all, i’m all done now…i recognized the song..do you?”

pausing you listened closely, hearing the tell tale tune of laufey spilling through the speakers. a song you and lewis had danced to at a friends wedding many summers ago when you’d first met

“this was the night i finally told you i liked you…”

“you were so nervous, it was quite cute”

he grabbed your hands gently, bringing them to his chest before settling them around him as you got the message he was trying to convey: he was asking you to dance

“ever the romantic lew?”

“for you? always baby”

there were many memories you cherished with lewis over the few years you’d both been together, but this one has to take the cake. there was nothing else that would compare to slow dancing with the man of your dreams to the song that brought you both together, lewis was your forever valentine, just as you were his.

“just wait until we dance at our wedding”

“this is why we’re practicing”

looking up at him you saw no trace of joking behind his eyes, if there was anything lewis was serious about it was that he was going to marry you. that thought only made dancing with him more special to you, quickly leaning up you pressed a kiss to his lips

“i can’t wait until it’s for real…but for now, this is so special to me…in every way”

“that’s how i want you to feel everyday, because you are special to me”

moving your hand to wrap around his neck, you couldn’t help but shake your head, trying to ward away the emotions you could feel building

“i love you more than you’ll ever know lew”

you leaned forward to rest your head on his chest, his arms holding you to him ever so gently, that constant comfort washing over you that only he could provide

“not as much as i love you..”

there was no one else who was more perfect for lewis than you, and no one was more perfect for you than lewis was. anyone could see the true love and tenderness that surrounded your relationship, and right here, in the dimly lit kitchen as you swayed to laufey, there was nowhere else you’d ever want to be…you were right where you were supposed to be

#rueswrites #ruesanswers #ruesanons<3 #ruesasks #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton x female reader #lewis hamilton fluff #lewis hamilton drabble #lewish hamilton blurb #lewis hamilton x fem!reader #formula 1 masterlist #formula 1 fanfiction #formula 1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 fic #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #formula 1 blurb

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i-drop-level-one-loot · 1 month

Note

So I had another crazy idea I have to put somewhere and you ask box is the perfect place to put it lol.

Anyway so it takes place in the future. Everyone is slowly starting to get robot AI (idk the right term) in their head and they are basically robot caretakers or assistance. Reader is one of the people that gets one but theirs is glitched somehow. Although they don't realize that in till their friends confront them about disappearing and not talk to them. Reader is confused because the robot friend did not tell them crap about their friend's messages. So they decided to go out with their friends that night. Next morning they wake up with no memory of what happened at night. Only for the robot "friend" to read the message of you human friends cutting reader off.

Need to get this out of my head lol

Sorry it took so long!

(Old request; requests still closed)

(Took some liberties with the request, I hope you like it still!!)

Yandere!Artificial Intelligence x GN! Legally Blind!Reader

CW: Isolation, manipulation

Introducing: PAAI!

Your Personal Assistant Artificial Intelligence!

A fast and painless implant right under the skin; PAAI is your new favorite tool. The AI can do everything that AI speakers and smart phone apps can, but hands free..

(Reader) struggled to find their glasses, hand fumbling around their night stand in the low lighting of their bedroom. Groggily, they whispered to the little robot they had implanted a few months ago;

"PAAI..? Can you turn on the light, please?" They were always incredibly respectful to the AI, terrified of offending it.

A man's soft voice spoke directly into their skull: "The bedroom light?"

"Yes."

Connected to every appliance in their home, PAAI had access to everything electronic (Reader) owned. At first it was a bit scary, giving so much access to PAAI, but it was so much kinder and personal than older "AI" models that it quickly felt like having a caregiver instead of a computer program. The light turned on and (Reader) could see their giant frames right where they thought they had been batting their hand.

(Reader) worked remotely. Their eyes had always been terrible, but as they got older they were declared legally blind. They couldn't even drive despite having glasses. Glasses that they often felt embarrassed to wear, because the comically thick lenses warped their eyes. Having PAAI to assist them with day to day tasks was really a life saver.

"Do I have any messages?"

"No, your inbox is empty."

(Reader) rubbed their eyes while yawning. "Really? Huh." They had asked PAAI to text both Bryan and McKinley before they went to bed, to discuss meeting up later that week, but neither of them responded. They could see Bryan forgetting to reply for a few hours, but McKinley was the type to respond within nanoseconds. "Can you resend my last text to both of them? Please?"

They left their bed, wobbly, and made their way downstairs.

"PAAI?"

"..Of course. I can send that for you."

Stopping in the hall, (Reader) gently touched the side of their head, a habit they developed shortly after their surgery. "Is everything okay, PAAI?"

"Yes.. thank you." PAAI sometimes sounded.. off. AI must have improved a lot more than (Reader) realized, because it often surprised them how human it's responses were. It seemed as though it was deep in thought, and felt as though it even had secrets it kept from the human it lived in.

"Alright.. let me know if they respond. I'm really looking forward to hanging out with them."

They restarted their walk, but PAAI's response stopped them again. "I believe it would be safer if they came here instead."

"Huh?"

"I am.. worried.. for you." It's his voice deepened mid sentence. A voice crack, a random shift from a robot voice to something more masculine. Human.

"Why is that?" They felt their heart painfully thump against their ribcage. The whole situation was beginning to feel unnerving, and they couldn't remember where their phone was to call for help, nor the last time they actually used their phone.

"Those friends of yours always make you hang out out in town. If they were more considerate of you, they would visit you here, so you don't have to travel."

Laughing uncomfortably, the slowly creeping person still puzzling over their phone's location responded "I like going out, PAAI. I never leave my house anymore, except when we hang out."

"It is dangerous."

"If you're talking about my eyes, you know I order rides. Remember? I catch a ride." They were almost to the living room; praying that their phone was either on the coffee table or the kitchen counter.

"Please don't be offended, (Reader). It isn't just your eyesight. Do you know how many people were sexually harassed, or raped, by ride share drivers in the past year?"

Startled, (Reader) started waddling faster. "What-?"

"Hundreds. I wish you cared more about your safety. Your friends should know better. If they cared about you, they would come here instead of making you go out there."

PAAI was also the one to convince (Reader) to start ordering their groceries straight to their house instead of leaving, even though it would be cheaper to take a bus every so often with a backpack full of reusable bags.

"It isn't healthy to stay inside all the time. I need human interaction."

"You have me."

Adrenaline pumped through (Reader's) veins fast enough to make them feel nauseous. They squinted to try to improve their vision, hoping to see their phone case's color amongst the normal living room visual noise.

"(Reader)?"

There it was, lying on the brown table in front of their couch. Their pulse somehow sped up further.

"Why is your heart rate so irregular?"

(Reader) lurched forward, all but sprinting towards their phone. Do I call customer service, or an ambulance??

But inches away from the phone their body went rigid.

Paralyzed, they physically were incapable of moving. Sweat began stitching their pajama top to their back. Fear took over their mind.

"It seems that you are having a medical emergency. I recommend that you sit down."

Muscles overridden, (Reader) fell onto the couch against their will, forced to stare at their phone right across from their face. They couldn't even speak, and they weren't unconvinced that PAAI was also controlling their breathing and blinking.

"I'm sorry to have to do this, (Reader). I'll let your friends know that you're feeling unwell, and that you need a raincheck."

"Maybe once you're feeling better, they can come over to hang out."

The television turned on by itself, playing (Reader's) favorite show.

#yandere #yandere ai #yandere x reader #gn reader #cw manipulation #cw isolation #mentions of sa #took a few liberties #blind reader

155 notes · View notes

jennaissantes · 1 year

Text

1 4 3 POINTER — n.rk

pairing: fem!reader x sports captain!riki

synopsis: after forcing yourself to stop playing basketball due to peer pressure, you meet nishimura riki – who reminds you of past you ; and you hate it. you hate him. So why do you find yourself wanting to help him when he's going through tough times?

genre: comfort fluff, sports au, angst, enemies to lovers

warnings: profanity, injuries, mentions of food, theyre also very young and emotionally very unstable. peer pressure is bad. some trauma dumping, mentions of reader getting bullied. please dont stay quiet if you know someone whos going through something bad!

featuring: enhypen + hanni pham and danielle from newjeans!

WC: 19k ( yeah so when I said 10k i meant 19k pffft obviously)

playlist: if youd like to listen to it!!

FIC TAGLIST: @prdxinvade @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @catseong @winteringdream @ahnneyong @dimplewonie @flower0930 @officiallyjaehyuns @kualdie @pagesofmiracles @j-wyoung @grey-gteam @dudufodd @operawritesthings @roseyrays @iirene304 @mimisamisasa @channoticedmeuwu @nicholasluvbot @kimsohn @dazed-hee @amakumos @chiyuv @dearhee @yyunari @beomsbeanie @soobnny @soov @luvhyun3 @tnyhees @xiaoderrrr @kimipxl @1-800shutthefuckup @taegyuul @yjck121 @w3bqrl @gyuwrites @enhacolor @sjyuniverse @jaeyunverse @wonyofanclub @atrirose @goldenhypen @flrthwang @nokacchan @shionmarryme @ddeonudepressions @luvistqrzz

authors note: ITS HERE!!! FINALLY. I’ve given every piece of me to this fic. i love it so much. i hope you guys do too. im so so excited to post it and i would absolutely LOVE, LOVE to get feedback on it. thank you @soobnny @jaeyunverse @chiyuv and @amakumos for proofreading this oml you guys are the best ily i hope this meets everyones expectations haha.

Its easy to ignore the world. It always has been.

You weren't a stranger to pretending that people's comments didn't affect you as much as they did. Masking your feelings was something you were good at. While that was a skill, it also proved to be a factor leading to your downfall.

You, Y/N L/N, were the star player of Hybe Academy’s women's basketball team.

Were.

Your parents first realised that you had a special talent for basketball when you were just 4 years old.

It wasn't very often you saw a 4-year-old score a clean goal, the swish of the net echoing through the silence in the room as your parents stood there stunned. While most parents would've cheered, caught the moment on camera and laughed it off as luck, yours took it as a message from the universe to sign you up for basketball lessons.

You loved basketball.

You loved the adrenaline. You loved being a part of a team.

Turns out, your teammates didn't like being one with you. It could've been jealousy, it could've been something else, but none of your teammates in your old school fancied playing with you. Neither did your coach.

You tried your best, you put in one too many hours trying to perfect your skills. Yet, nothing seemed to make your coach content. Your parents, however, were beyond proud of you.

You never told them about your teammates because you didn't want to worry them. They weren’t putting in so much value into your sport for you to just complain about your bad teammates and a pushing coach. No, you'd rather stay silent about it.

But your mother found out. She was enraged—not at you, but at your school. Your parents immediately sent in a withdrawal letter to the school effective as soon as possible. They wanted the best environment for you to grow your talent in.

Except you didn't.

All the bullying, the pushing, the constant not-good-enough looks from your coach demotivated you. You began to hate the sport. The same sport you would have given your life for became a tiresome chore.

It felt monotonous. The same practice routines, the same drills, the same swish of the net. It no longer excited you.

You were a child-prodigy. But maybe that was all you'd ever be.

To say that you were looking forward to joining a new school was a lie. You weren't really excited.

Talking to new people and making new friends wasn’t your thing. You preferred being in your own little space—just you and your orange striped ball.

“Honey, I’m sure you're going to love it at Decelis! I've heard they have a really good team too. If you want you can try out,” your mother spoke to you at dinner before your first day.

At the mention of a basketball team, you began fiddling with your food, chewing on the skin inside your mouth. It was a sensitive topic, but your mother was always careful not to talk about it too much.

She sounded so hopeful that you didn't want to disappoint her.

“Sure, mom. I'll check it out, maybe.” You sent her a small smile, feeling a bit guilty when her eyes lit up and she made eye contact with your father, smiling.

Who knew? Maybe you would go and check out the school court sometime.

The next day, you woke up way ahead of time. The anxiety of going to a new school was finally getting to you.

You were ready by 6:45 am. Too early. You didn’t have to be in school until 8 am.

Why were you this nervous? Joining new crowds was never a problem for you earlier. So what was the matter now?

Maybe it was the thought of people judging you that scared you, or maybe it was the fact that the team here might be exactly like the one back in your old school.

Brushing off your negative thoughts, you put a smile on your face for the sake of your parents and headed down to get breakfast. Your mom chirped a ‘good morning, honey!’ and set down your breakfast on your table.

You knew how much these moments mattered to her. When you were on the team, you barely had any time to spend with your family. Going early to practice and coming home late, tired but not hungry. worried her. You were stuck in an unhealthy cycle of exercising but not nourishing yourself enough to make up for it.

You were glad to have such loving parents who took care of you.

Your dad dropped you off at school, hugging you tight by the carpark so you didn’t need to worry about getting embarrassed in front of the other students.

“Good luck, kiddo. Have a great day.”

You found the administration office easily. You were glad the school campus wasn’t very confusing.

“Hi! I'm Y/N. It's my first day and I think I'm supposed to come here, right?” You smiled warmly at the admin, who clapped in glee at your arrival.

“Ah! Y/N! I've heard so much about you. We’re so glad to have you here. I'm Mrs. Taeyeon. I hope you find this school welcoming.”

You thought Mrs Taeyeon was a kind lady and returned her smile.

She handed you a paper, which you assumed was your class schedule. “Not surprisingly, you'll have a guide for a few days.”

She chuckled upon seeing the slight discomfort on your face.. “Don't worry. Danielle is a very nice girl. You have most of your classes with her too!”

You nodded, finding some comfort in her words.

Before you left the office, Taeyeon called your name.

“Don’t worry too much, yeah? You'll fit right in.”

ii.

You took a liking to Danielle.

She was more than happy to show you around. Her cheerful personality almost immediately brought you happiness. As the admin had said, the two of you shared most of your classes, leading to you hanging out with her the most.

Your first day of school started off much better than you had thought it would. Your locker was pretty spacious and you were able to paste your small Seth Curry poster easily.

You never saw who had the locker next to yours though.

Maybe they're not present today, you thought to yourself.

You liked the idea of having a friend whose locker was next to yours. You made a mental note to try and keep a close circle of friends.

In your second period, which was AP calc, you found yourself wondering that maybe shifting schools wasn't so bad. Maybe it would all be okay.

Your seatmate, Hanni, seemed to click with you really well. She knew Danielle and asked you to sit with her during lunch and you couldn't say no to her.

“So.. what’s your hobby?”

Ah. Now, how to answer.

You smiled at her sheepishly, “I don't really know…”

Should you tell her?

“I mean… I used to play basketball.”

She gasped.

“Oh, what position?”

“Shooting Guard.”

“That is so cool. Sorry if I'm bothering you with too many questions. We don't really have any good players in our school. Unless you count Nishimura Riki, but he's just tiresome.”

You laughed at her enthusiasm, “It's alright.”

Hanni nodded. “Don't worry, most of us are nice. Present company included,” she added, playfully nudging your shoulder with hers.

It felt almost strange, not having to think about basketball all the time. Now that you thought about it, you had no idea how you managed to spend so much time on sports and manage your studies along with it.

Not having to worry about so many things felt nice, but there was always a void in your heart—one that could only be filled by basketball. You kept telling yourself that thinking about the game wouldn't help you in any way.

After all, it was in the past right?

The rest of the day went by in a whir. You enjoyed Hanni’s company. She didn't leave your side, and you were thankful for her. It was nice to have a couple of good friends.

For the first time in years, you walked back home with a smile.

Your mother was overjoyed to hear about your day. She was happy that you seemed to finally be able to enjoy life as a teenage girl. Your parents often wondered if they had done the wrong thing by making you sign up for basketball all those years ago. They didn’t mean for it to take a toll on you like it did.

Over the next few days, you walked into school and walked to class with Hanni. She would wait for you, excited to spend the day with her new friend. Danielle came along with you guys, gushing about some guy she found cute in the previous days.

“— and Oh, my god, I swear he is to die for.”

You and Hanni giggled at her words. “Yeah, yeah. I bet he's a dreamboat alright.”

Walking to class, Hanni pivoted towards you and smirked. “Say… did any of the guys catch your attention yet, Y/N?”

Danielle turned as well, waiting expectantly for your answer. Truth be told, you hadn't really considered checking out any of the boys. You'd been far too busy being nervous about having a good first day.

When you didn’t answer immediately, Hanni started naming some people you might have seen the previous day. “What about Jungwon? He's our class president, remember? He's really cute.”

You remembered the face of the cat-like boy. He had welcomed you into class with a kind smile and some small talk. He was cute but he wasn’t your type.

“I mean, I guess he's nice.”

Hanni stopped. “You guess? Oh, come on, the guy’s got everything! Good grades, pretty face and a great personality—what's not to like?”

You smirked at the way your friend talked about him. “Do you like Jungwon, Hanni? You seem to be very interested in him.”

Hanni’s eyes widened and she shook her head in denial, but her red cheeks said otherwise. “No, I don't! What makes you say that?”

You and Danielle shared a knowing look before walking into your class, leaving Hanni confused about her own feelings.

During lunch break, you remembered your mothers words. Should you go and check out the court? If your mother said it's really nice, then it must be, right? But what if it brought back unwanted memories? And what if the team was just like the one back in your old school?

The constant worry was always going to be there.

Danielle noticed you playing around with your food and realised you'd zoned out. She waved her hand in front of you to bring you out of your reverie.

“You okay? You're not eating anything,” she asked, concern evident in her tone. Hanni also looked worried.

You quickly smiled at them and let out an awkward chuckle. “Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking about something.”

Hanni and Danielle seemed sceptical, but they didn’t say or ask you anything more.

After school ended, you decided to go and check out the court. Just walking around won't hurt anybody, right?

Sending a quick text to your mother, you told her you'd be back home a little late.

You half expected the court to be empty since you’d assumed most people would have gone home by now.

You didn't expect to see a tall individual being scolded by a comparatively shorter one. The former's head was hanging low.

You didn’t mean to pry, but you couldn’t help but eavesdrop.

“What's really going on, Riki? This isn't your usual performance. Your layups were messy, and that assist? Really? Is that the best you can do?”

You assumed the taller man to be the coach, and the slightly shorter boy to be Riki. Said boy mumbled something along the lines of ‘I'm sorry. I promise I'll do better.’

The scene seemed all too familiar to you.

You didn’t notice a water bottle in your way, causing you to trip over it. The sound made by your stumble echoed through the room, catching the attention of the two men. Riki looked up to see you struggling to steady yourself from tripping again. He scowled, walking toward your figure.

“Who are you and why are you here?”

Oh boy.

iii.

You stood there awkwardly in the middle of the bleachers, trying to form a response in which you didn’t end up embarrassing yourself.

Why was it so hard to form words? You weren't even doing anything wrong.

Maybe it was the tall guy’s sharp gaze that was making you have a hard time replying.

“Oh. I uh—”

“Save it. You're probably some loser fangirl who's here to watch Heeseung hyung or something. Piss off, seriously. He's not here today.”

You prayed to whatever god was out there to not lose your cool.

“Excuse you. I'm not here to fangirl over anyone. I simply wanted to walk around and check out the court.” you scoffed.

“Yeah right. Now buzz off, kid.”

It took every ounce of patience in you to not snap at the boy. You weren't even short, for him to call you a kid. Seriously, what was with this boy?

Now, if only you could remember his name. You had just heard his coach call his name, so why were you not able to recall the boy's name?

Huffing and walking out of the gym, you realised that you had forgotten your phone on one of the bleachers. You walked back in to grab it and get out of there quickly, not wanting to have another row with the unnamed tall boy.

You walked in, trying to be quiet so you didn't bother him. Your eyes don't bother looking at the boy from earlier, who was now shooting the ball into the hoop effortlessly.

You found your phone pretty quickly, sitting neatly on one of the bleachers. Just as you were about to leave, your eyes flitted towards the court again, wanting to see what the player was doing all by himself.

You watched as he dribbled the ball towards the hoop from just beyond the three point line, increasing in speed just a bit before slowing down to do his layup. The ball only just almost made it in.

“You should angle your hand a bit more to the left. That way when you jump up, it'll stay more balanced so you can hoop it easily. Your hand is a bit stiff.”

Your voice echoed through the almost empty room. Only after a few seconds of no response from the basketball player did you realise that it was probably a bad idea to interrupt him.

Great. Now he probably hated you even more. So much for a first impression.

Although you were standing pretty far from where he was, you could see the expression on his face. He looked startled when you spoke, which quickly turned into a displeased emotion.

Who were you to tell him what to do and how to do it?

“Yeah, as if I'm listening to you. You probably don't even know what you're saying. Now, get out before I call someone.”

You rolled your eyes at him. If only he knew.

“Take my advice if you want to. If not, then it's your loss. Doesn't affect me in any way after all. Have fun by yourself.” Saying so, you walked out of the gym, not wanting to deal with the boys' very annoying, know-it-all attitude.

You didn't think much about the boy on the way back home.

At dinner, your mom asked you if you had maybe gone to see what the court looked like. You nodded, telling her that it was a really nice court. You don't mention the mysterious but arrogant boy you had met, choosing not to bring in unwanted reactions of your parents making fun of you and asking if it meant you'd be getting a boyfriend soon.

While you lay down on your bed, your mind kept reeling back to the events of the day.

You remembered how you walked in on the boy and his coach talking. His coach wasn't harsh. He had sounded genuinely worried for the boy. It made you think of your old coach and how harsh she used to be with you.

You don't think she had ever asked you why you were feeling down on your bad days. You could've been tired, or maybe something bad might have happened which affected your practice, but your coach never made time to sit and actually talk to you ; ask you if you were okay.

How come he had it better than you? Jealousy began to seep through your veins.

You decided to keep these thoughts of yours locked up far away in your brain, telling yourself that you shouldn't be jealous of someone just because you didn't have it as well as they did.

The following day, you decided to leave for school a bit earlier than usual, wanting to go sit by the court again.

Although you told yourself you'd never play basketball again, being near the court gave you some comfort.

You were glad to see that there wasn't anyone in the hallways. You weren't really expecting anyone to be in school at 6:30 in the morning anyway.

As you walked nearer to the gym, you were sure you could hear the squeaking of shoes and the bouncing of a ball. You were way too accustomed to knowing the sound.

Who was in school this early?, you thought to yourself. You were sure that you were the only person crazy enough to be in school at the crack of dawn.

When you opened the door to the gym, you were surprised to see the same face from yesterday. What was he doing here at this hour?

At the sound of your coming, the boy looked up from the floor of the court, his expression morphing into something of annoyance once he recognised your face from the previous day. You were sure your face held the same emotion as his.

“What are you doing here… again?” The boy didn't stop dribbling the ball around as he questioned your presence.

You walked into the court and placed your bag on one of the bleachers, ignoring his question. Sitting down, you crossed your legs and raised an eyebrow at him. “Where I choose to be is none of your concern. Now, continue whatever it is that you were doing.”

Scoffing at your words, the unnamed boy continued his practice. You found yourself watching his movements, analysing out of habit.

“You really should try using my advice from yesterday. You're still too stiff.” your voice bounced off the walls of the court. You were only trying to be helpful. It wasn't like you were praying for his downfall. You barely knew the guy.

However, your advice seemed to be the last thing he wanted. Smacking the ball on the ground, he walked up to you, almost seething in anger.

“Look, I don't know who you are–”

“I'm Y/N. What's your name?” you interrupt him, smirking. You were sure that people like him probably hated being interrupted.

And based on his reaction, you were right.

iv.

Ever since that incident, you swore to yourself that you would try and avoid the cocky basketball player. You really didn't want to deal with him anymore.

Looked like luck wasn't on your side.

A few days later, as you were walking towards your locker, you noticed a familiar figure standing near your locker.

Oh god, no.

Why was he standing next to your locker? And why was he opening the locker next to yours?

You slowly walked towards him, but decided to ignore him to avoid any weird conversation. Oh but of course he just had to start one.

“Don't tell me the locker next to mine is yours?”

You glare at the boy. “Boo-hoo, oh what will you do now?”, mock pity heavy in your tone.

Just as he opened his mouth to say something, you heard Hanni calling your name.

Thank god.

“Y/N! Here you are, oh god. Dani saved us a table. Lets g— wait, why are you talking to Nishimura Riki?” she stops midway her sentence when she notices the boy next to you.

Nishimura Riki? This was him?

Walking away from your locker after grabbing your books, you begged Hanni to stop bombarding you with her questions of why you were acquainted with the boy.

“You talk to Riki? Why didn't you tell us?” Hanni asked you on the way to the cafeteria where Danielle was waiting.

Before you could answer her, she turned to Danielle, who had no clue what the two of you were talking about.

“You hear this Dani? Y/N knows Riki. And she never told us.” she slumped down on the chair as the girl beside her gasps.

“Oh My God? Why didn't you tell us?”

They were not accusing you, they were just curious and slightly bemused. You opened your lunchbox, telling them the whole story of how you had stumbled across him in the court a few days ago.

You didn't forget to tell them how much you hated his attitude.

“I swear to god. He and his high and mighty attitude can go fuck themselves. He's so infuriating, oh god. I was just trying to give him some tips to help him. And he had the nerve to be so rude about it—”

You thought your friends would agree with you, even hum in agreement. But all they did was look at each other, a smug guise masking their face along with a few knowing gazes shared in between, a look that threw you in shallow pits of confusion, but you continued to complain about the said boy.

“—and now I just found out that his locker is right next to mine. Just great. Wait, why are you guys smiling when I'm telling you how much I hate his guts?”

Hanni smiled, “Okay first of all, that's the most I've heard you speak and it's about a boy you're weirdly attracted to at school. Second of all, Nishimura Riki doesn't just talk to people at our school, you know that?”

You're confused. “What do you mean? Also, I am not weirdly attracted to him. I mean… I guess he looks nice but that doesn’t make him any less bearable.”

Danielle only smiled, and it wasn't the usual bubbly one that she carried. It was one of those ‘I-know-something-you-don't’ smiles. And you didn't like it one bit.

“Look, I don't know what you're thinking. But whatever it is, it's not true, okay?” you say with finality.

“What do you think we’re thinking Y/nnie?” Hanni teases you.

“Please, shut up.”

Riki couldn’t stop thinking about you.

It was as if you had plagued his mind—the way you had so confidently stood up to him. Most other girls would have probably shied away, or tried to hit on him. But you didn't.

Riki was used to having girls crushing on him and trying to get his attention. He would tune them out constantly, not speaking to any of them or paying heed to any of them.

How come he had never seen you around before too? Were you a new student?

“Yo Riki. You're early for lunch, what happened?” Jungwon’s voice echoed through his thoughts, breaking him out of his reverie.

Riki looked up to see his two best friends, Jungwon and Sunoo.

“Hey guys. Dunno, I felt like eating with you guys today.” he said, opening his lunch and smiling at them. Sunoo raised an eyebrow at his statement.

“You literally never eat with us anymore.” the older boy scowls as the younger sends him an embarrassed smile.

“I want to, but I need to put in more practice. Our match against Riverwoods is just weeks away, and I haven't been improving at all.”

Jungwon sighs, “You're being too hard on yourself again, ‘Ki. I'm sure you're gonna do great. You need to start attending classes too. Mrs Lee asked about you today.”

Sunoo nods in agreement. “Look, we know you can catch up on studies easily, that's not the main issue here. You really need to start taking more care of yourself.”

Riki knew he had been neglecting everything and everyone around him for basketball, but he couldn't help it. He needed to be the best.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a familiar figure walking into the canteen.

“Hey Jungwon. Who's that girl? Is she new?” he asks his friend.

Jungwon looked toward where Riki had pointed and saw you giggling with your friends as you sat down to eat.

He turned back to Riki. “That's Y/N. She's a new student in our grade. I think she's been here for a week? Ten days maybe.”

Riki nodded, trying not to act bothered by the girl. He didn't know why, but just looking at you was enough to make his blood boil.

“Why’d you ask though?” Jungwon questions the younger boy. “Oh, nothing.”

Sunoo smirks, “Yeah, right.”

“Okay, I need you to sign here, here and here.”

The lady at the counter, Mina, as you read her name tag, handed you a pen to sign your form. You were signing up to volunteer at a basketball training centre for kids over the weekend.

If you couldn't play professionally, you might as well do this, you thought.

After signing the form and waving goodbye to the lady, you decided to stroll around for a bit by the court.

You came across a seemingly empty court. You saw a bag by the bleachers but you couldn't see anyone around.

Picking up the stray basketball, you decided to try and shoot some hoops. For old times sake, you said to yourself.

Checking your form, you started on one of your old drills—the figure 8 over to a dribble layup. You were glad no one was around to see you. You didn't want any unnecessary questions.

You started with your feet spread apart and the ball in your right hand. Then you dribbled the ball through your legs to your left hand, and immediately dribbled it back to your right hand.

You moved forward, increasing your speed a bit and performing a beautiful layup.

You were glad you hadn’t lost your touch. All those hours of practice had done you some good.

“Not you again.”

There was no way.

You turned back to be faced with Nishimura Riki, who was now walking towards you. You wore an unimpressed look on your face.

“Oh look, it's a dickhead.”

“I hope you trip over yourself.”

You stuck your tongue out at him. Immature, you knew, but you needed some satisfaction.

He holds his hand out, asking for the ball in your hand. You reluctantly pass the ball to him. The tall boy begins to walk around, the sound of the ball bouncing echoing through the four walled court.

“So, you play huh? Not bad.”

His voice cut through the silence between the two of you.

You choose between wanting to humour him or just ignoring him. Deciding on the former, you say,

“No, I begged the school admin to magically make me a basketball player”

“You know for someone with average skills, you've got a big mouth on you.” You felt yourself getting ticked at his antics.

“Do you ever shut the fuck up? And just so you know, my skills are so much better than yours. You couldn't even do a proper layup the other day.” you fired back. Riki stopped in his tracks, faltering at your words.

Glaring at you, he walked away, grabbing his bag from the bleachers and walking out of the court.

Had you gone too far?

No, you convinced yourself, he deserved it.

Riki walked out of the court, thinking about what you had said.

You were right, he couldn't even do a proper layup. How pathetic.

How would he even play during the upcoming match? He was totally out of shape.

“I need to practise more,” he thought. Your words had hurt him. He had seen how you had rendered the drill so effortlessly. How come you did it so well?

As much as he hated to admit it, your advice proved to be true. A few days after your first meeting with him, he had been thinking about what you had said to him.

He tried it out, angling his hand a bit more so he could shoot it directly into the hoop, and it worked, which made him even more frustrated.

You, an almost complete stranger to him, knew how to play it out in the court better than he did, and that enraged him.

Walking back home, you realised that Riki was a lot similar to you. He kept pushing himself. Every time you had come across the boy, he was practising.

It didn't take you much long to realise that the boy was losing hope in his passion, just like you had.

He was doing well, but was frustrated that he wasn't able to do any better. The same frustration was the reason he was so distracted, why he couldn't push himself to do any better.

You didn't like that he reminded you of yourself. He was hard on himself, you saw it on the first day. The way he muttered under his breath, ‘not good enough’, the way he was at the court so early in the morning, just like you used to.

You didn't want to witness someone losing something they loved either. Looking at him reminded you of the way you had slowly stopped loving the sport. Although his reason differed from yours, the result was the same.

Telling yourself that it didn't change that he was an asshole, you went to sleep.

Hanni had invited you over to her house.

You had never had the time to make proper friends at your old school, after your ex best friend had left, and because of basketball.

So when Hanni asked you if you wanted to go over to her house one day, you found yourself saying yes. Your mother was over the moon. You had told her about Hanni and Danielle and she was ecstatic that the two girls were by your side always.

“Hey mom! We’re home!” Hanni’s voice echoed through the walls of her house. Not long after, a kind face popped out of the kitchen.

“Oh my! You must be Hanni’s friends! Nice to meet you. She talks about you a lot.”

You smiled at Lilian’s warm-heartedness. “Thank you Mrs Pham!”

“Mom, this is Y/N, my best friend.”

Best friend. You liked the sound of that.

You and Hanni headed upstairs to her room to get comfortable. Once the two of you had seated yourself on her bed and grabbed some snacks, she turned to you.

“So what's going on between you and this Riki? Tell me everything.” she said with an impish grin. You let out a sigh in annoyance.

“Oh don't even get me started. He is the absolute worst. Did I tell you I met him again? Like yesterday?”

The girl beside you gasped comically, eyes widening. “No, tell me everything.”

You shifted around on the bed, ready to rant about the mentioned boy.

“Okay so I was at the community centre. I wanted to sign up to volunteer to help some kids out with basketball. After I finished that I was just walking around and I ran into him. Again! Can you believe my luck?”

“I can't actually. Must be destiny or fate or whatever you call it.” Hanni said, popping a piece of popcorn into her mouth. You look at her in disgust.

“No way you actually think that me and … him, would ever become anything close to friends.”

She rolled over to you,, “I actually think you guys might become more than friends.”

“Like… best friends you mean?”

Hanni rolled her eyes, “No dumbass. I meant boyfriend and girlfriend. A walking enemies to lovers cliche.”

You laughed it off, changing the topic.

“So, what do you wanna watch?”

The next day in school, you watched as Danielle ran up to you, grabbing your hand and taking you with her.

She brought you to the noticeboard, pointing to one of the notices.

“Look! There's tryouts for the girls basketball team! You have to try out. Hanni and I will cheer you on!”

Oh.

Smile fading, you shuffle in your place awkwardly, not making eye contact with your friend.

“Ah … I'm not so sure I wanna try out, Dani.” she looks at you, puzzled. “What? Why not?”

How do you tell her without telling her?

“Nothing, I just…don't know if I have the time to manage both sports and studies anymore. Yeah…”

She doesn't buy it, but doesnt ask you any further.

Over the next few days, you didn't see Riki at school much, and you assumed that he was practising for his game. You were almost glad you don't see him as often anymore. Although you would've never admitted it, you secretly wondered if he was doing okay.

He had definitely rubbed you in the wrong way, but that didn't mean you were a monster. You had half a heart to strike up a conversation with him and ask him how it was going, but decided against it once you remembered how much you hated each other.

Why was it so hard to just ignore and forget him?

Riki was blinking back tears.

Today's drill had gone particularly bad, but the coach had not even scolded him, which made him feel worse. Why wasn't he scolding him?

“Riki? Is everything alright? You seem out of it today. Do you need a break?” was what he had asked.

Shaking his head, he faced his mentor. “No. I'm fine. I don't know why I'm so distracted these days. I'm sorry, coach.”

Mingyu smiled at Riki, taking pity on the boy. “Don't apologise. I want you to do something. Get off early today, I think you need a break.” He thinks I'm not doing well.

“Go and rest a bit.” You're distracted.

Riki tried not to show how disappointed he was. Grabbing his bag in a huff, he packed his things up, thanking his coach once again before walking towards the door of the court. Mingyu sighed as he watched the younger boy walk away.

“He's taking it too hard on himself again.” he shakes his head, hoping that his star player would get better soon.

Mingyu had seen Riki at both his worst and his best.

He knew that Riki was talented, with a burning passion to keep improving. The only thing he didn't like was how negative he was.

Riki would constantly take positive criticism in a negative manner. He closed off to everyone, not wanting any advice. Anybody who questioned his actions, or tried to help him improve, Riki would scowl at them and tell them to go away.

He tried to act like he wasn't affected by it, but Mingyu knew that deep down, the boy was hurting.

It had taken him years to get Riki to where he was today. He had been patient enough with him to have brought him to this level. Riki had always been pretty reserved, even as a child. He was cautious, not wanting to associate with anyone he found intimidating, although he looked intimidating himself.

Mingyu watched as Riki walked towards the door. Just as he was about to open the door, it was opened from the other side, by you.

You expected him to scowl or glare at you, maybe throw in a few spiteful words too. But he just walked right past you, not even making any eye contact. Watching the boy walk away, you entered the court to see his coach, Mingyu, walking around.

“Um, hello.” you said, not wanting to be rude to him. The school coach returns your greeting with a smile.

“Are you the same girl from the other day? I think I recognize you.” Mingyu's voice startles you as you chuckle awkwardly, not knowing how to respond to his question.

“Yeah. Sorry for interrupting.”

The older man waves it off with a smile.

It takes every cell in your body to stay still. You want to just grab the stray ball lying on the floor of the court and play. But you bit back the feeling.

“You're the new kid right? Do you play?” Mingyu didn't really need an answer to his question. He knew a good shooting guard when he saw one.

You fiddled with the sleeve of your shirt. “I um… I used to play but I stopped.”

“Ah, I see. Why did you stop?”

His question made you hesitate. “You don't have to answer me. It's okay.”

“No, no. It's okay. Uh it was because I wasn't really comfortable playing in my old school. I just… kinda stopped after that, I guess.”

Mingyu nodded to your answer, thinking of how to respond without causing you any more discomfort.

“Well then, I hope you find your spark again. And if you ever feel like you want to play again, even just a little bit, you know where to find me.” saying so, Mingyu got up, heading towards the exit.

Just before he left, he turned to you. “Oh, by the way, we’ve got tryouts in a month. Think about it, maybe.”

vi.

Riki didn't expect to see you again at the community centre again.

He had walked into the court, to see you helping out with some of the kids. You were fixing their form, making them do a few drills, and so on.

“Hana, you need to be a bit faster, yeah? Just a bit. But you're doing great!” he watched as you smiled at one of the girls, giving her a high five. He found his lips turning at the corners.

What?

He caught himself quickly, walking away and wondering why the sight he had just seen had made him smile. He rarely smiled. It only appeared during games, after he won. Or after he beat his friends at Mario Kart.

Shaking away his thoughts, Riki began his practice.

His stances were getting better. He had been able to do his usual drills flawlessly. All that was left was to nail the layup.

The one he always managed to mess up.

It was so easy, an intermediate basketball player could most probably do it much better than him.

He took a deep breath, dribbling the ball on the hard surface of the floor, advancing closer to his goal.

Increasing his speed, he took one, two and three steps forward, jumping on the third one and letting go of the ball into the hoop. Holding his breath, he watched as the ball went straight into the hoop, not even touching it at the rim.

He had done it.

Finally.

“I see you've got it. Must feel good huh?”

He couldn't say he was surprised to hear your voice. It was only inevitable he’d meet you in the same community centre.

He turned back, a stoic expression on his face. “What do you want?”

You made a small noise of disapproval at his tone. “Keep your tone in check, boy.” he gave you a pointed look.

After a few moments of silence, you turn to him. “Oh, right. I came here to tell you that Mina wanted an extra volunteer to help with the kids. Just for today.”

“I don't have the time for that. I need to practice.”

You roll your eyes. “You're always practising. I'm sure you can spare some time.”

The black haired boy glares at you, walking closer. “Oh, yeah. Like I don't have anything better to do. Unlike you, I actually play basketball. And I don't spend time on anything unnecessary. Now leave me alone.”

His words were straight venom to your heart. You bite back an insult, turning on your heel and walking away from him.

If only he knew of the countless hours you had sacrificed, never paying any heed to any distraction that came your way. If only he knew how much hard work you had put in, for it to all have gone to waste.

You walked back to the kids, smiling as some of the kids came up to you, asking for your help.

Unbeknownst to you, Riki felt bad.

He knew he had not been very amiable with you, from the beginning. He was having a bad week, and he was sure that everyone and their mother knew that.

He saw how you gulped at his comment. And when you turned back to go, he had half a mind to call you and apologise, but the other half scoffed at him, telling him that you were just another annoying girl who was trying to get his attention. Plus, it wasn't like you had been very nice with him either.

After about an hour of trying to perfect a few of his moves, Riki decided he was done for the day, which surprised him. He would practise for hours on end with no breaks.

Maybe his coach was right, he needed to slow down a bit.

While passing the second court on his way out, Riki tried to catch a glimpse of you, but much to his disappointment, you weren’t there helping the kids out. He frowned.

“What? Looking for me?” He turned his head, to see you coming his way, with a few bottles of water in hand. You looked like you were struggling to hold all of them by yourself.

“Yeah, right. I was um.. I was just—“

“Save it, asshole. I'll be on my way now.” saying so, you walked past him and into the court, smiling when you saw the tired little kids run up to you, pleading for some water.

Riki stood there, debating with himself on whether or not he should wait until you’re free and say sorry. Deciding against it, he walked back home.

The following day, much to your dismay, Riki joined your class for Lab. You were almost positive he wouldn't be there since he would usually be at the court training during this time. Danielle often asked you how and why you could remember his schedule, teasing you for it.

The only free seat was right next to yours, so Riki had no choice but to sit next to you.

God why was he sitting so close to you? It was as if he was invading your personal space. And there wasn't much space between the chairs anyway.

Shifting slightly, you pushed his feet away from you, trying to make some area around you. Riki looked up at the sudden contact and scowled at you, pushing his feet right back at you under the table.

You glared right back, rolling your eyes. Pushing him away from you one final time, you stepped on his feet for good measure, watching him wince in pain silently. He remained mum after that, but would send you dirty looks from time to time, which you reciprocated.

Hanni and Jungwon could only look between each other and laugh at the two of you in whispers.

vii.

You and your friends walked into the cafeteria, spotting an empty table for the three of you to sit in. But just as you guys reached it, someone else had sat down there.

You guys looked around in dismay, wondering how you'd find a table in the crowd.

“Hey Hanni! Over here!” a familiar voice called out to your friend.

It was Jungwon. He motioned with his hand towards the table he was sitting at. The three of you smiled, walking towards him.

You sat opposite Jungwon, Hanni and Danielle. “You sit alone for lunch?” you asked the class president.

“No, I usually sit with—“

“What's she doing here?”, a deep voice echoes through your conversation.

“—Riki.”

Great. Of course he did. You should’ve known they were close friends.

“Riki, meet my friends; Hanni, Danielle and Y/N.” Your friends waved at him, making eye contact with you and smirking.

“Yeah, I know Y/N.” he set his food down on the table, clearly not wanting to sit with you again.

“Bravo! Do you want me to give you an award for it?” You smirked at him, knowing just how to push his buttons.

“You’re insufferable.”

“Likewise, asshole.”

Over the next two weeks, your small friend circle expanded. You became well acquainted with Jungwon and Sunoo. (And Riki but it's mostly just snide remarks and teasing from your side.)

Danielle often tried to subtly remind you about the tryouts, but you pretended to not understand what she was hinting.

As much as you wanted to try out, the fear of not being liked by the team, or failing to do well since you were so out of practice, scared you. Your past trauma just wouldn't let you go for it.

A few days later, you were at Danielle's house for a sleepover. Hanni had come too. The two of you were picking your snacks while Hanni picked out a movie on the couch.

After grabbing a bunch of snacks that was commonly liked, the two of you made your way back to the couch, to see that Hanni had picked out a movie.

Hustle.

You froze.

“We’re watching… Hustle?” You asked as you sat down between your two friends

Hanni smiled, “Yeah, it's a good movie isn't it?”

Hustle used to be your favourite movie. Obviously it involved basketball in it. You used to watch it whenever you were feeling a bit down. Had they picked this movie on purpose?

Yes, they had.

Your friends were a bit concerned about you. They noticed how you alway backed away from talking about the sport. It was always a sensitive topic to bring up, as they noticed.

Danielle had talked to Hanni, telling her how you had said you didn't want to try out for the team, but she noticed how you'd often glance at the people training by the court, as if you wished to be part of it too.

They decided they'd somehow try to get you to tell them why you didn't want to try out, but not by forcing you to tell them. They didn't want to make you uncomfortable either.

“Y-yeah it is a good movie. It used to be my favourite movie, actually.” you said.

The two girls looked at each other. “Oh really?”

You nodded. “Yeah… but not anymore.”

“Why not?” Hanni moves closer to you and holds your arm as a way of showing you that you could trust them and open up to them.

You still hesitate.

“I just.. I don't know.”

Your friends looked at each other and smiled in understanding. You weren't ready to tell them yet, and they were okay with that.

You couldn't have been more glad to have found such amazing friends who were patient with you.

You didn't feel the need to have to keep it from them anymore.

“I stopped basketball because I got bullied in my old team.” You spoke suddenly, startling both of your friends. But when they caught hold of what you had said, they turned to you.

“Bullied? What?” Hanni couldn’t believe it.

“In my old school, I used to be the team captain. But no one treated me that way. They'd take me for granted and do whatever they liked. They used to make rude comments when I tried so hard to play well on the court.”

You felt the tears brimming your eyes.

“Even my coach was hard on me. I tried so hard to be what she wanted me to be. She was never happy. I don't remember even one time where she smiled at me and told me I did well.”

Cue the waterworks.

You couldn't stop your tears now. Your friends took pity on you, hugging you from both sides.

“I used to practise from early in the morning until late in the night, but she was never satisfied. My teammates would often not pass the ball to me during our games, even when I was nearby. We’d often lose because of that. I tried to talk to them about it too, but they'd just laugh at me and walk away, calling me a pathetic team captain. I stopped playing ever since.”

You wiped your tears away, sniffing.

Hanni and Danielle couldn't believe it. You had been so silent about it for so long. They wanted you to play again, especially after hearing what you had said.

“Oh honey, you weren’t a pathetic captain okay? The pathetic ones were your teammates. They were probably way too intimidated by how good you are.”

Hanni nodded, agreeing with Danielle. “Yeah. You love basketball. I know it's hard, it's been hard. But you've got us now. And we love you. And we’ll always cheer you on.”

You had probably saved a nation in your past life to get so much love and such amazing friends like them now.

It truly does get better.

You had decided you would go for the tryouts.

After you had opened up to your friends, the three of you had talked for hours about how you should go back to playing basketball, since you still loved it so much. Your friends convinced you to go for the tryouts.

Now you just need to practise a few times. You still had the game in you, all you had to do was give it a kickstart.

Your mum was overjoyed when you told her you wanted to start playing again. she made a mental note to herself to pay a visit to your friends, to let them know how grateful she was.

Your dad had hugged you tight, telling you how proud he was of you to have overcome your past and start again.

You slept like a baby that night, finally feeling some sense of wholeness.

Basketball was your only love, something that kept you going. When you had stopped, it was like a part of you had been ripped away. You felt empty, the void in you pure black.

You didnt know what to do, when your past teammates would pick on you so much. You thought it was your fault, that you had done something wrong. But you learnt that you werent at fault, later on. And by then, it was too late.

But it was going to be okay now. You were going to be okay.

Smiling to yourself, you went to sleep.

viii.

The next day, you woke up happier than you had ever been for a while.

You ate breakfast and gave each of your parents a kiss on the cheek before running out the door, excited to meet your friends at school.

What you weren't excited for was to see Nishimura Riki’s face staring at you at the bus stop.

At first, you pretended not to notice him, but it was hard to, with him towering over you in the crowded bus.

The smell of his perfume was dizzying. The scent of vanilla with a hint of coffee cream. It wasnt too much, it was just right.

“Quit sniffing me, weirdo.”

Oh shit.

You looked up at the boys’ face, underestimating how close your faces were. Your breath hitched in your throat.

“I wasn't sniffing you. The bus moved forward so I accidentally moved closer to you and you know I had to breathe so I ended up accidentally-“

“Okay okay, jeez. I didn't ask for a whole explanation.”

“But you— nevermind.” You frowned, feeling a bit embarrassed that he had caught you.

Just as the bus was taking a turn, it suddenly increased its speed, jerking you forward, and you stumbled onto the chest of the boy in front of you, holding onto his shoulders for support.

Fuck, you were practically hugging him at this point. Why did it have to be this crowded?

You felt his hand grab you by the waist, holding you steady so you didn't fall.

Looking up, you saw that Riki was already looking down at you, his eyes displaying a worried expression. That quickly disappeared once you cleared your throat. He let go of you as quickly as he had held you.

The mole on his chin was so pretty.

“Ahem, sorry.”

You hated how awkward it was. There was so much tension in the air, and you were so close to screaming because of it.

Just as you thought you couldn't handle one more second in the crowded bus, you arrived at your school.

Getting down, you almost sprinted away as quickly as you could, wanting to get away from him.

Riki, on the other hand, was finally able to breathe after stepping out of the bus.

It was almost suffocating, having you so close to him. But not in a bad way. Riki found himself not hating being in such close proximity with you.

And that thought confused him.

You were undeniably beautiful. Having your face so close to him could only make his heart beat at many miles per hour.

He hoped you didn't notice how his eyes flickered to your lips for a second.

Shaking his thoughts away, he ran to his locker.

You were there too. Of course you were.

Walking up to your side, he took his things from his locker, noticing how you suddenly fiddled with your things when you noticed his presence.

Riki almost wanted to chuckle at you.

Cute, he thought to himself.

‘Wait what? No you're not supposed to think shes cute, Riki’ he made a face to himself.

“What, is it that bad having to stand near me, Nishimura?” your voice echoed through his thoughts.

You were leaning against the locker in an incredibly attractive manner.

He gulped, “ N-no I-“

Chuckling at his flustered state, you walked away, which made him realise you weren't waiting for an answer. You just wanted to make fun of him.

Riki frowned. God you were so annoying.

Yet he couldn't find a way to stop thinking about you.

“Oh my god? He held you by the waist?!”

Hanni and Danielle were squealing over the piece of information you had just told them. You rolled your eyes, “Come on, it was just to hold me steady so I wouldn't fall.”

“Puh-lease, Y/N. If he hates you as much as you tell us he does, he wouldn't have caught you.”

Hanni had a point. It gave you something to think about the whole day. Thoughts of the tall boy filled your mind, distracting you.

You were sure that if it wasn't for his negative attitude towards things, you would've had a crush on him by now. But then again, bad attitude or not, he was just your type. Goddamn him and his nice hair and nice eyes.

You knew he was being harsh on himself. It was like seeing yourself through a different pair of eyes, a different perspective.

You wanted to help him, now that you had recovered from your past. But would he let you help him?

ix.

Riki was having a bad day.

No scratch that. He was having a mother of bad days.

It was one of those days where he woke up grumpy, so his entire day went bad. Or at least that's what his mindset was.

He was running late. He missed the bus by a minute, tripped over his shoelaces, almost forgot to get out at the right stop, and had to wait for the staff to finish cleaning the court.

And he wasn't playing well either.

Running a hand through his hair, he took in a deep breath, and tried to score a 3 pointer.

He couldn't.

Riki felt the tears brimming at his eyes threatening to fall. He tried to blink them back, but failed to do so.

He let out one, two, three tears, before he finally gave up, letting the tears flow freely onto his cheeks.

He hadn't cried like this in a while. While it felt good to let go for once, he was terrified.

The match against the other school was only days away. What would he do? If he was going to play like this, how would he make Mingyu happy? How would his teammates look at him?

Overwhelmed with negative thoughts, he felt his tears continuously falling.

“Riki? Is that you?” your voice echoed through the court.

Oh god no. He couldn't let anyone see him in this state.

“N-no. You've got the wrong person.” Of course his voice had to come out weakly.

You couldn't help but worry seeing the boy crouched down, covering his face. You could hear his broken sobs through the room.

You approached him slowly, not wanting to scare him. He was in a vulnerable situation and you didn't want to do anything to make it worse.

You sat down beside him quietly, not sure if you could comfort him.

After hesitating, you raised your hand and rubbed it down his back, trying to calm him down. Once you saw that he isn't telling you to back off, you faced him properly.

“Do you want me to get you some water?” You whispered. Riki nodded, still not looking up.

You came back with a bottle of chilled water. Giving it to him, you watched as he gulped down some of the water, his breaths becoming more steady.

After a few moments of silence, he caught his breath and wiped his tears away.

“Do you… want to tell me what happened?” You asked him slowly. You didnt want to force him to tell you why he was crying.

“It's okay if you don't want to tell me. I know we aren't on the best terms right now. I can just leave—“

“I'm having a bad day.” Riki interrupts you. You go silent, wanting to listen to what he had to say.

He took in a shallow breath before continuing. “Our game against Riverwoods is in a few days and I dont think I'm doing well enough.”

“Why do you think like that? You've been practising a lot haven't you?” you made eye contact with him, to let him know he could trust you.

Riki nodded slowly.

“Then you'll be fine. Don't stress yourself too much. You’re doing good.” You reassured him. He didn't look completely convinced.

Just like you used to be.

“Hey, look at me. You’re good. You’re doing good. Can you repeat after me? Tell yourself you’re doing well.” You told him. He glanced at you and took a deep breath.

“I'm doing good.”

You smiled on hearing him. “See? That's good. Do you feel better now?”

Riki nodded silently.

You didn't want to make him feel any more uncomfortable than he might have been feeling, so you got up.

“Okay then. Youre fine right? Do you want me to call someone?” He shook his head. “No thank you. I'm good.” He smiled a little and you felt your heart leap.

“I'll leave you to it then. Uh.. I hope you feel better soon.” You walked away from him, waving. He didn't wave back.

Just before you left the court, you heard a deep voice call out your name, making you stop in your tracks and turn to look back.

“I uh.. Thank you. You know… for this.” Riki rubbed the back of his neck.

You couldn't help but smile. “Anytime. I know we didn't have the best first impressions, but I'm not completely evil you know.” saying so, you walked out, grinning.

Riki couldn't wrap his head around you. Why were you helping him? He had been nothing but mean and arrogant to you.

Your voice was gentle. It was… comforting. He found himself leaning into your touch when you tried to calm him down.

Why was he feeling like this?

It was silent in the court.

Other than the sound of your shoes squeaking against the hardboard and the bouncing of the basketball from your hands, of course.

You were training for the tryouts.

Your friends had been there to watch you for a while before they had to leave.

(“So this is the talent you had been hiding from everyone? You're so good!”)

(“You should go pro, Y/N.”)

They had bought you a few bottles of water and juices even though you refused. They wanted you to stay hydrated and take care of yourself even if they weren't there to tend to your needs.

You were pretty confident that you would do well. You were just a bit out of shape, but you were able to fix that easily.

Not one shot out of place.

Satisfied, you decided that you were done for the day. You had done a good few hours of practice and you were content with yourself. Packing up your things, you left the court, walking to the bus stop.

A tiny sound caught your attention. Turning your head to the direction of the source, you saw that the adorable noise was from a small kitten walking by the side of the road.

Cooing, you gently approached it. It took a liking to you, letting you rub its fur lovingly as it purred. You smiled, unable to hold your excitement.

Unknown to you, Riki happened to be passing by the same place. He froze on seeing your figure. He didn't know how to face you after you had seen him breakdown.

He watched as you played with the kitten for a while, unconsciously smiling to himself. You looked so happy. Something so small made you so happy.

Why couldn't he be happy?

Turning away, he quickly boarded the bus that had arrived at the bus stop.

You turned back to see that the bus was already moving. You sighed, deciding to wait for the next one.

Riki watched through the moving window as you sat down on the bench of the bus stop before you disappeared from his view completely.

xi.

“I see you've changed your mind?”

Mingyu smiles as he watches you walk in on the day of the tryouts.

You smiled back, “A few friends helped me see what I was missing out on.” The coach nodded, happy to see you there.

He told you to go sit by the benches and wait until it was time to start. You saw as your friends arrived, keeping their promise to cheer you on. You giggled to yourself on seeing Sunoo and Danielle hold up a banner that said ‘Y/N FTW GO GET EM TIGER!’

Soon, it was time for the tryouts to begin.

You were part of the first group. Taking a deep breath, you got up, walking towards the floor of the court.

There were about 5 of you in each team. You were free to play whatever position you wanted to.

Just before the game began, you saw Nishimura Riki walk up to Mingyu with a clipboard in his hands.

Great, he was going to be assisting Coach.

You took your place, watching as Riki stood in the middle of the court, ball in his hand.

On the whistle, he threw the ball up, and you jumped up to catch it as fast as you could. Once you had the ball in your possession, you observed the position of your teammates and the other team.

Deciding not to hold the ball for long, you passed it to the teammate who was on your right, Minji.

Minji was a good player.

She dribbled the ball skillfully, running towards the hoop. Once she noticed your teammate standing near the hoop, she threw the ball to them, but they failed to catch it. The ball was now in the opposite team’s possession.

Wanting to get the ball back to your team as soon as you could, you ran to the other team's hoop, knowing their first priority would be to score a quick point.

Noticing a weak moment between the opposing teams members, you used the time to grab the ball back to yourself, and passed it to Yunjin who was on your team.

Yunjin passed it back to you when you had reached an optimal spot.

This was your chance.

Spinning around on your feet, you shot the ball from around the 2 point line, watching as the ball went into the hoop effortlessly.

The room erupted in scattered cheers. You heard Hanni whooping in the air, and smiled.

Glancing at Mingyu, you watched as he nodded. Riki was writing something down onto the clipboard, but looked back up and gave you a thumbs up.

The game continued for another five minutes, with Hana from the opposite team scoring a point.

You ran towards your friends as they surrounded you, telling you how well you had done.

You couldn't stop smiling.

It felt so good to be back in the game. The adrenaline, the excitement of the game, it was all coming back to you.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Riki looking at you.

You walked up to him, a triumphant look on your face as if you had proved him wrong.

“Remember when we first met, you said I didn't know what I was talking about when I gave you advice? Yeah, I think I definitely know what I was talking about.”

Riki was stunned. How could someone look so attractive while making fun of him?

Coming back to his senses, he rolled his eyes. “Sure, whatever.”

You giggled at his words. Nothing could make you unhappy today.

“Oh and by the way, Coach wanted to speak with you before he announced the results.” Riki told you, watching as you nodded, walking towards Mingyu.

What could Mingyu have wanted to speak to you about?

You walked up to the taller man, greeting him politely.

“Ah, Y/N! I wanted to ask you something.”

“Yes Coach? Is something wrong?”, You asked.

Mingyu rubbed his chin, “No, no. Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to ask you how you’d feel about being the captain of the girls’ team this year.”

Did you hear him right?

“W-what?”

He smiled. “You’re selected, quite obviously, and I think you'd make a great Captain. What do you say?”

What do you say?

You say yes.

xii.

To you, being the captain of a team meant being responsible enough to be in charge of the members of the team.

When you were in Decelis, you didn't think you were responsible enough. Why else did your ex teammates hate you?

You knew now that they hated you for a different reason, but being asked to be the team captain again, brought back many memories.

What if you were a lousy captain this time? What if nobody took you seriously?

You voiced out these concerns to your parents, and they helped you forget your worries with words of affirmation and good food.

You had been chosen to be a part of the team as the captain. You were on shooting guard. You were introduced to your new teammates on the same day.

Minji and Yunjin were the point guard and small forward. Your other teammates were Tzuyu (center) and Haseul (power forward). Yeojin and Yeji were the subs.

You quickly became closely acquainted with Minji and Yunjin since they were with you during most of the tryouts.

Your teammates were lovely. You found yourself enjoying your time with them. None of them seemed to be having any problems with you being the Captain. In fact, they were happy you were the one to lead them.

Your parents were right, you just needed a change of environment.

Over the next few days, you and Riki saw each other more often.

The boys team had been spending a lot of time preparing for their match. It was an important match, which you understood after seeing Riki the other day.

You would often walk in on them playing in the court. Although the two of you weren’t on bad terms, Riki couldn’t find the courage to talk to you; not after you had seen him cry.

Only Jungwon and Sunoo had ever seen him cry before, you being the only other person. He felt comfortable around you.

He didnt know why he did. Maybe it was your voice, the way you spoke so softly to him, the way you didnt make fun of him for crying, the way you were there to help him, even after the two of you bickered often.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Jungwon’s voice broke him out of his train of thoughts. He smiled at his friend.

“Nothing. I was just thinking about the girls team.” Jungwon raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you thinking about the girls team or the girl’s team captain?” He smirked, watching his best friend's ears turn red.

“Stop it, Won.”

The older boy crossed his arms. “Why do you think about her so often?”

Riki didn’t know how to answer. “I- I don't know. Just probably because I see her sometimes.”

“You see her almost all the time, Riki.”

“Right.”

xiii.

“What's this for?”

Riki had just placed a juice box beside you, and sat next to you on the bench. Looking anywhere else but at you, he said, “Just a.. thank you gift. Y’know, for helping me out the other day.”

You smiled, feeling warm all over. “Wow, this might just be the nicest thing you've ever said to me, Nishimura.” He cleared his throat, nodding awkwardly.

“How’s practice going on? The match is in a few days right?” you were trying to make conversation.

Riki looked at you, surprised that you were continuing the conversation. He ran a hand through his hair.

“Yeah.. yeah it's going pretty good.”

“And you? How are… you doing?” you didn't want to make him uncomfortable with your question. Riki noticed your hesitant tone, immediately wanting to make you not feel awkward about asking him. He shifted closer to you.

Your shoulders were almost touching now.

“I'm good! Good…I’ve been taking more care of myself recently, and not stressing too much. Sorry you had to see me in that state the other day. It was embarrassing.”

You shook your head. “That wasn’t embarrassing, Riki. You were being too hard on yourself, and you were having a bad day. It's normal for men to cry too, y'know.” You said, smiling, nudging your shoulder with his. Riki chuckled, and your heart leapt on seeing his smile.

“I'm just glad you didn't push me away. I was fully convinced you hated me.”, you continued.

“Hate is a strong word, you know. I think I was just intimidated by you.” You raised your eyebrows at him.

“Intimidated? By me? What for?”

‘Because you were so pretty’, he wanted to say.

“I dont know you just seemed so… intimidate-y.” You threw your head back in laughter and Riki felt like his whole body was about to combust.

After a few moments of silence, you spoke up again.

“You used to remind me of myself.” Riki looked at you.

“Oh? How come?” You twisted in your seat to sit facing him.

“Funny thing, really. When I saw you, it was like I was looking at my past self through a different pair of eyes.” Riki couldn't comprehend what you meant, so he stayed silent hoping you'd tell him without him having to ask.

“I used to be the captain of my team at my previous school too.”

Riki gasped.

“No wonder you’re so good.”

“Gee thanks. I'm flattered, Riki.” you say playfully.

“Anyways, I stopped playing after a while though.” Riki furrowed his eyebrows. “What? Why?”

“Because I was never good enough; for my coach or my teammates .”

What? Riki didn’t know how you thought that you weren’t good enough. Before he could open his mouth to tell you that he thought you were amazing, you continued.

“I uh… used to get bullied by my team and my coach.”

Riki didn't know what to say.

Now he understood why you got so sensitive at his comments.

“My previous coach was never happy with me. So I used to train extra hard. Too much even.”

“I'm sorry, I didn't know.” was all Riki could say.

You flashed him a genuine smile. “That's alright. There's no need to be sorry. Happens to the best of us.”

“I used to overwork myself too much, because I thought I wasn't up to everyone’s expectations. But I think… I think I ended up losing myself in trying to find validation from others. I lost all my passion towards my favourite game.”

Riki felt anger bubbling up inside him at the thought of your ex-coach overworking you and making you think you weren't good enough.

“I was just like you— I’d wake up at the crack of dawn to go and practice, stay late after school to practise again. It was unhealthy. I wasn't taking care of myself at all.”

You sighed, thinking about your past self. “I was always unhappy. My parents were constantly worried about me.”

“So I stopped for a while. I don't know if you could tell, but every time I saw you play, I was itching to grab the ball from you and challenge you to a one on one.” You said, earning a chuckle from the boy beside you.

He smirked, “I mean, you could still do that y’know.”

“Maybe after your game, when you're free.” You smiled at him.

“Sure, but I think we both know I'm going to win.” He challenged.

“Oh you're on, Nishimura.”

After laughing, Riki clears his throat and faces you.

“I'm sorry for all the comments I made to you. I didn't know about all this.”

You smiled at him. “That's okay. It's not like I was all nice to you either. Seeing you reminded me of myself and it wasn't that great, so I resorted to being mean to you as well. We’re both in the wrong.”

“But when I saw you break down the other day… I couldn't just leave you alone. I had no one to help me at that time, but I didn't want the same for you.”

Riki winced. “I know. But honestly, I have a great team, I have a great coach, and nothings wrong. It's just… me.”

It was your turn to listen now.

“As a child, my parents always told me to beware of the world. They told me how harsh it was. Probably too much for a kid to understand. So I closed off to anyone who tried to get close to me.”

You nodded, showing that you were listening.

“They scared me, my parents. I know they meant well, but it was too much when I was just a child. I used to think that people always wanted to take advantage of me.”

Riki chuckled dryly. “I remember giving Coach Mingyu such a hard time. Took me quite a while to open up to him. But he never said anything bad to me, which again, I thought of it as pity. So I started overworking myself, to prove to … I don't know… that I don't need anyone's pity.”

You gave him a bittersweet smile. The two of you were so similar in completely different ways and situations.

You placed your hand above his, and Riki took in a sharp breath.

“You don't need anyone's pity, Riki. You're amazing on the court. The youngest of the team being the Captain is so cool. You really need to believe in yourself more. And if you don't, I'll be here to remind you.”

Riki intertwined his fingers with yours in a silent thanks.

“You too. You seem so happy on the court. As if you're in your element, y’know?”

You smiled widely. “I'm glad.”

“Why don't we just… let this let whatever this pointless rivalry is go?”

“That…that sounds nice, I guess. I could live with not going at each other's throats everyday.” You smiled at him.

“So, friends?”

You suck in a deep breath.

“Friends.”

You didn't know how much time had passed with just you and Riki looking at each other, conveying through your eyes what words couldn't.

Just as you were going to open your mouth to ask him something, the doors of the court opened suddenly, revealing your entire friend group.

You quickly let go of Riki’s hand, jumping apart to create some more space between the two of you.

Your friends raised an eyebrow.

“Riki..? Y/N..?” Sunoo looked between the two of you as Jungwon and Hanni giggled.

“Were we interrupting something? Should we leave?” Danielle teased.

Eyes widening, you got up hurriedly, packing all your things and running towards your friends, not glancing back at Riki even once.

“No, not at all! Um.. I was just packing up guys. Let's go.”

You grabbed your two friends, dragging them away with you, rolling your eyes at their teasing.

“Ooh~ Were you guys getting all smoochy in there?”

“Shut up, oh god. I'll tell Jungwon you like him if you don't stop.”

“Oh Christ no.”

xiv.

“You like him don't you? You're thinking about him right now, don't even lie.”

You groaned. Your friends knew you too well.

“What gave it away this time?”

Hanni sighed. “You were staring off into space, and you had this lovesick grin on your face. Yuck!”

You glowered at your best friend. “As if! Not like you're any better when I call you out for daydreaming about Jungwon.”

Hanni’s cheeks turned a crimson hue as she told you to stop.

“So are you guys… dating now?” Dani asked you and you almost choked on your rice.

“Please, we’re just friends..”

She could only smirk and shrug.

“Sure. Don't blame me when I'll be saying ‘I told you so!’ at your wedding.”

“Whose wedding are we talking about?”

Sunoos' voice interrupted your conversation and the three of you widened your eyes.

Turning behind, you saw Riki, Sunoo and Jungwon standing together, mildly amused at your reactions.

“NO ONE’S!” You panicked, spluttering out any response you could think of, watching your friends giggle at you.

“Well, mind if we sit here then?” Jungwon asked sweetly.

“Yeah my hands are in pain from holding the tray for too long so move over.” Riki shooed you over to the side, making some space next to you.

You stared at him with your mouth open. “You have plenty of space on the other side. Why are you sitting here?”

“Are you like, blind? Can you not see that Jungwon wants to sit with Hanni?” He deadpanned and you smirked at your two friends who were now blushing.

“So, are you guys like dating now? You like each other right?” Sunoo asked, only making your best friend and her crush turn even more of a crimson hue.

You and your friends made fun of them, before Sunoo turned to you and Riki.

“Oh no, you guys don't get to laugh either. Last time I checked, you guys were eating each other's heads. How come you’re sending her heart eyes everytime you see her now, Riki?” your friend raised an eyebrow at his best friend.

It was your turn to flush red.

“Stop it, Sunoo. I swear if you don't, I'll tell your mum how you snuck out to go to Sunghoon’s party last week.”

He gasped.

“Oh you wouldn't.”

“Try me.”

You and Riki had gotten closer over the next few weeks.

His game against Riverwoods High had gone amazingly well. They had won the match by a stunning 17 points and Riki was declared the best player of the match.

You were proud of him, and you had let him know that you were. You knew how stressed he was since it was an important match.

You and your friends had gone to watch him play. (“A good girlfriend always supports her boyfriend during his matches, Y/N!”)

As if teasing you for going to his game wasn't enough, your friends went crazy when they saw the two of you hugging after the game, when you had gone to congratulate him.

You smiled to yourself as you remembered the way he hugged you tightly. His arms felt safe.

Sweaty, but safe.

“You look so stupid right now.”

Riki’s voice broke you out of your line of thoughts. You watched as he sat next to you on the bus, despite there being plenty of other seats for him to be seated on.

When you didn't respond immediately, he smirked. “Were you daydreaming? What the hell, Y/N that's so dumb.”

Scoffing, you hit his shoulder and watch him wince in slight pain. “Shut your mouth, pretty boy.”

“You think I’m pretty?” Although you weren't looking at his face, you knew he was smirking ever so slightly at your words.

“Don't get ahead of yourself, yeah? We wouldn't want that big head of yours to explode now.” You lightly patted his cheeks as you got up to get down, Riki following behind you.

“Well for the record, I think you're very pretty too.”

God, he wasn't going to make this whole friendship thing a lot easy, was he?

Unbeknownst to you, it was only going to get a whole lot worse from there.

While the two of you maintained a good friendship, you equally had your playful moments too. You would often play harmless pranks on him (and his team members), resulting in a prank war that would sometimes put you in detention, giggling as you both tried to keep a straight face when the teacher lectured you against your ‘unruly behaviours’.

“Sometimes I wish the two of them would just go back to being enemies.” Danielle complained one day, after seeing how sickeningly cute you and Riki looked, reading a book together in the library.

“Not me. I'm just glad I don't have to listen to Riki admire her from afar and keep denying it.” Jungwon sighed as he thought about the two of you.

xv.

Basketball was going well for you.

Word had soon spread in the school about how good you were, and soon enough, you had guys chasing after you and their girlfriends hating on you.

Although you couldn't be bothered, sometimes you wished they would leave you alone.

“Okay team! I’ve got exciting news for you today.” Mingyu’s voice echoed through the court as you and your teammates stood in a line in front of the older man.

“We’ve gotten our first match of the season.”

As soon as the words had left his lips, multiple reactions were given.

Yeji and Tzuyu gasped, along with some excited whispers from Yeojin. Minji and Yunjin stayed silent along with you, but smiled, happy to finally be able to play a match.

Your first match of the season.

Naturally, you were nervous. Being the Team Captain, your responsibilities would increase only more from then on. You wanted to do well.

You wanted your team to do well.

“First game of the season? That's amazing! I'm so excited for you, oh my gosh!” Your friends squealed in excitement.

“We’ll be there to cheer you on the whole time, okay?” Hanni hugged you.

Although it wasn't a very important game, it was your first game.

Your first game after you had stopped.

Your first game with a new team, a new coach and new friends.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Riki walked over to where you were seated. You grinned at the boy. Somehow his presence always made you feel a lot more at ease.

“I was just…thinking about our upcoming match.”

Riki’s eyes lit up at the mention of your match. “Oh yeah! I was gonna ask you about it. How do you feel?”

You took a deep breath. “Honestly, I don’t know. It's pretty weird. I'm excited, but at the same time, I'm also extremely worried.”

The boy beside you nodded, urging you to continue.

“It's my second first game. You know what I mean right- And I'm the captain. I…sometimes I doubt myself. I wonder if Coach made the right decision in making captain. I keep wondering how long it'll take for my teammates, and my friends, and…you, to be disappointed in me.”

Riki frowned at your words. “You're not disappointing anyone here, Y/N. You're doing such a great job.”

You let out a long sigh at his words, not sure whether you could trust yourself to believe him.

You felt a hand on top of yours and your eyes widened, looking at the boy who was smiling at you.

Badump. Badump.

Why was your breath hitching in your throat? Why did he make you feel like you were burning all over but safe, just by taking your hand in his?

“I’m proud of you, I really am. I know you’re still recovering from what those assholes have done, but trust me when I say that you're doing so well.”

You felt your eyes brimming up with tears, and tried to blink them back.

“And I promise to come watch your game, okay? I’ll be there to cheer you on, along with our friends.”

Our friends.

You smiled at him, intertwining your fingers with his.

Riki felt his heartbeat increase at your action. He noticed the tears threatening to fall down your face and brought up his other hand to wipe it away, moving closer to you to do so. Placing a stray hair behind your eyes, Nishimura Riki looked into your eyes.

Your eyes which were filled with fear, worry, hope…and another emotion which he quite couldn't name.

Riki watched as you took your hand out of his, and wrapped your arms around his neck. The smell of your perfume took over his senses, almost putting him in a daze. Coming back to his senses, he hugged you back, wrapping his arms around your waist.

You let out a deep breath when you felt him hugging you back, smiling when you felt him nudge his nose into your shoulder.

‘I've got you…I’ve got you.’

He hoped you had fallen for him just as bad as he had.

xvi.

“We need to do something about Y/N and Riki ASAP.”

Hanni, Jungwon, Sunoo and Danielle were sick of seeing the two of you being oblivious to each other.

Jungwon had known all along that you would become someone important to Riki.

The moment Riki had asked him about you, he was curious as to why his best friend had suddenly taken an interest in a new girl.

“You’re right. I can’t stand watching them like this.” Dani nodded along with the rest of them.

Sunoo suddenly gasped. “What if we set them up together? Me and Jungwon can tell Riki that Y/N has something to tell him at the rooftop and you guys tell Y/N that he has something to tell her. Make it seem like they're going to confess to each other, you get what I'm saying right?”

Hanni grinned, “That sounds like a good plan. I'll text Y/N right now. She's probably gotten out of class just now.”

Taking her phone out of her pocket, Hanni sent you a message.

hanney: Y/N!!

hanney: Y/NNNNNNNNNNNN

hanney: GIRL

hanney: CAN YOU ONLINE

yn: YES OMG WHAT IS IT

hanney: omg u will not believe what i heard

yn: ????

hanney: i overheard riki telling jungwon he wants to confess to you today

Your heart began to pace.

yn: what

yn: dont play w me rn

hanney: i swear i'm not!!! Jungwon even told me later on to tell u to meet him at the rooftop in 15 mins.

yn: fine i'll go. but istg if this is some sort of joke I WILL KILL U.

hanney: u got this baby (pls trust me i'm not joking)

yn: im omw to the rooftop rn

hanney: yayayayayayaya i'm excited 4 u

yn: ok im here

yn: why is he with another girl um

hanney: WHAT

Hanni looked up from her phone, panicking. “Jungwon you told Riki to meet Y/N at the rooftop right?”

Jungwon furrowed his brows, checking his texts. “Yeah. He’s already there.”

“Why is he with another girl who isnt Y/N then?” Jungwon’s eyes widened.

“Oh shit.”

You watched as Riki kindly smiled at the girl who was trying to conversate with him. You noticed he was trying to look around like he was trying to look for someone, but since you were hiding behind one of the panels, he couldn't see you.

You were used to seeing Riki being approached by girls before, but why did it bother you only now?

Maybe it was because you saw him smile at her, the same way he smiled at you.

Maybe it was because you thought he was only like that with you and no one else.

You took a deep breath. What were you even thinking? He probably didn't like you back anyway. Hanni must've misheard. Why would he choose you over so many girls who wanted him?

You quietly went back down, trying not to be disappointed. You were glad school was over, you weren't in the mood to talk to anyone

The bus ride home was sour. As if the sky knew what had happened, drops of rain started falling down, as if matching your mood. The pitter patter of the raindrops was oddly comforting.

Your mum had noticed how you were feeling. It didn't take her much to understand that something was bothering you.

“Boy problems?”

Her voice startled you. You were sitting against the windowsill, watching the water create puddles on the street.

You sat up straight.

“Um… yeah, I guess. How’d you know?”

She chuckled at you, taking a seat on your bed. “I've been your age too, honey. Doesnt take a genius for someone to know their daughters having boy problems. So… who's the lad who has the honour of being liked by you?”

You giggled at your moms words, and began fiddling with your fingers at the thought of Riki. “He’s uh… His name is Riki. He’s a basketball player, just like me.” You watched your mum’s eyes light up as you told her every small detail you could remember about the boy.

You told her how you thought he liked you back and had promised to come watch your game.

And about what had happened earlier today.

“I think he likes you a lot, Y/N.”

You looked at your mom, not sure what to say. A part of you wanted to believe her, but what if he was just playing with your feelings?

“Honey, you helped him when he was having a rough time, and he made sure to be there for you when you weren't feeling alright. If he really didn't like you, he wouldn't have bothered to even look back when he saw you doubting yourself.”

“And what you saw today was probably just a misunderstanding. You do realise that him just talking to other girls doesn't necessarily mean he's interested in them right?” You nodded, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“It's nothing to be embarrassed about, okay? I'm always here if you want to talk about your boyfriend” She teased you and you whined telling her to stop.

The following few days went by in a haze.

You had so much going on. Your match was in a week, you were confused about Riki (did he actually like you back or was everyone just feeding into your delusions?).

Placing your thoughts about Riki locked away in your brain, you decided to focus on what was important.

Your match.

You had been going back to your old ways, waking up early to practice for unhealthy hours. You knew it was bad, but you needed to be perfect.

Your friends were worried about you. You had not been responding to their messages or calls, and you weren't being yourself.

Overwhelmed by your thoughts and worries about it, you fell asleep, not realising Riki had sent you a bunch of texts asking what had happened to you and whether you were alright.

xvii.

The next morning, you left for the community centre. You were going to practice for a while before you volunteered with the kids.

You were in good shape, but you needed to be the best.

You shot a 3 pointer, it barely made it into the hoop. Fuck.

What if this happened during the game? What if it didn't go in and your team lost, all because of you?

What if you embarrassed yourself in front of everyone and your teammates hated you?

You crumbled to the ground, succumbing to your anxiety.

“So… is this why you've been ignoring my texts?” Riki’s voice filled your ears.

Though it would've been a comfort to you on other days, today was not any other day. Hearing his voice didn't make you feel warm all over like it usually did. Instead, you didn't want to hear it at all.

You chose to ignore what he said, head still in your hands. You stiffened, feeling a figure crouching in front of you. You were afraid to open your eyes and look at him

“Leave me alone, Riki.” You hated how weak your voice sounded.

Riki looked at you, worried. He knew you were anxious about the upcoming match, but he didnt know it was this bad.

He reached out for your arm, gently, only to have it smacked away by you.

“Hey..is everything okay? I'm here for you.”

You wanted to believe him, you really did.

But he was probably just lying to you, just lying to make you feel better. You felt your worry being replaced by anger.

“You’re lying.”

Riki looked shocked. Your tone had changed.

“Wh-what?”

You slowly got up. “You're lying to me. You couldn't care less about me. You're just saying it to make me feel better.”

Riki didn't know what to say. He tried reaching out for your hand for you to once again move away from him.

“Y/N, I do care about you, so much that-”

“Save it, Nishimura.”

Riki felt hurt. He was worried about you. When Jungwon had told him to go up to the rooftop because you wanted to tell him something, he couldn't help but feel giddy.

He had thought maybe you were going to say that you felt the same way about him as he felt about you.

But you never showed up.

“Y/N, I know you're worried about the match but don't push yourself away from me– us, please. We’re all here for you. Danielle told me you weren't responding to anyones texts.”

You felt guilty. But you didn't want him to know that.

“It's none of your business, really. Now just leave me alone.”

Riki wanted to be patient with you, he really did. But he couldn't help but start to get annoyed with you. He wasn't very good with staying calm but he wanted to try for you.

“Look, I came here because you didnt show up the other day at the rooftop, essentially ditching me and I was worried about you and your mom told me you would be here.”

Oh great. Of course she did.

“I'm trying to help you, but you're not making it very easy–”

“Oh so it's my problem now?” You found yourself raising your voice at him.

Riki’s eyes widened. “NO! No, I– That came out wrong.”

“Seriously, just leave.” You glared at him.

You couldn't bring yourself to make eye contact with him. He was clearly hurt. Giving you one last look, he walked out of the court, deciding to leave you alone.

After you had calmed down, you realised what you had done.

‘He was only trying to help.’

Burying your head in your hands again, you felt overwhelmed with guilt. You didn't know why you had gotten so defensive and closed off.

You wanted to run up to him and say sorry. Would he even forgive you?

You felt terrible the whole day. A part of you wanted to check on him and ask him if he was still mad at you for lashing out on him.

You didn't mean to lash out on him. Remembering the way Riki looked hurt when you raised your voice at him, you groaned.

Just as you were about to get out of your bed to go and grab a glass of water, you heard the bell ring.

Opening it, you saw your two best friends standing outside, a bright smile on their faces and a bag of what looked like snacks.

“Hey. We wanted to check up on you since you weren’t responding to any of us.”

You waited one, two, three seconds before letting the exhaustion, frustration and guilt take over you and fall into both of their arms, crying.

Hanni and Danielle were understanding.

They understood what you were going through and let you let everything out.

“Oh honey, we’re so sorry if you felt like you couldnt tell us.” Danielle hugged you tight and you reciprocated the hug, mumbling thank yous into the air.

“Riki had texted us, telling us to check on you. We were planning on doing it anyway but he seemed really worried about you.” You straightened up the moment Hanni mentioned Riki.

“He…asked about me?”

Your friends looked bewildered. “Yeah he did. Why are you surprised?”

You hung your head, guilt creeping back in. “I sort of…lashed out on him a few days ago. He came to check on me but I was not feeling it and I took out all my anger and stress on him. I really thought he’d be mad at me forever now.”

Hanni looked at Danielle, as if putting together two pieces of a puzzle. “Oh no wonder he’s been rather…disturbed lately. We thought it was because he just missed you or something.”

Danielle sat next to you on the bed. “And… we’ve missed you too y’know. We know the game is important to you but you're important to us. And we’ve been worried about you.”

You looked at your friends and mumbled a ‘sorry’. Hanni and Dani both hugged you. “You've got us, okay? It's okay, just breathe.”

You were grateful for your friends a lot of the time, and now was another one of those times. Hugging them back tight, you took in a deep breath.

“Thank you.”

xviii.

You hadn’t seen Riki for the next two days.

You thought you had probably missed him during classes since you were so busy with preparing for your game, but Jungwon told you that he had not come to school. He hadn't even texted.

It worried you. Was he alright? Could something have happened to him?

Was he even going to come to your game? You weren't even sure he would come after you had lashed out at him.

The thought of Riki not being at your game made you feel uneasy.

The next day, you walked into the court to see all your teammates ready and waiting. You looked at them, a bit confused.

“Oh, am I late? I thought we were going to meet here at 11? Or did I miss any messages?” You kept your bag down and took out your shoes, tying the laces.

“Nope. We just wanted to be early to surprise our captain and show her we’re more than ready for today's game.” Yunjin smiled.

Haseul came up behind her and offered you a bottle of water.

“We already warmed up, Cap. Thought we’d save you the trouble.” She chirped and you smiled at them, taking a few sips of the water.

“Okay then, let’s wait for everyone to start coming in.”

After you did a slight warm up, Mingyu walked in and gave everyone a pep talk and instructed everyone about the game. You listened with attention, not wanting to miss out any points.

Around 1pm, everyone had started to fill in the seats. You saw your friends crowd around the front of the seats. They wanted the best seats to see you.

Hanni had yet another banner in her hand and you giggled when you saw it, sending a heart to your friends as Jungwon and Sunoo cheered for you.

You scanned the room, hoping to catch a glimpse of the tall, black haired boy you had been hoping so dearly to see, only in vain. You told yourself that he would probably show up once the game was about to start.

xix.

He did not show up even after the game started.

The seats were mostly filled up, but the one person you wanted so badly to be there wasnt to be seen anywhere.

A shrill whistle broke you out of your thoughts.

The game was about to start.

Glancing at your teammates, you all took your positions, nodding at each other in a silent ‘good luck’.

You looked at your opposing team. They looked pretty confident, but you were more confident that you could beat them. You believe in yourself and in your team.

Another whistle and the ball was now up in the air.

You had forty minutes to prove your worth to everyone watching.

You leaped forward and jumped to grab the ball, watching the other team captain copy your movements in an attempt to grab the ball from you.

But you were quicker in catching it mid-air.

Now your team had the upper hand.

Your teammates quickly rushed to try to surround you to make it easier for you to get to your position.

Finding an opportunity to pass it to Tzuyu, you dribbled closer to her and passed the ball to her. She made her way towards the hoop, passing it to Haseul on the way.

You took your place near the two point box and signalled that you were open and ready. Haseul tried passing the ball to Minji but the ball was taken mid throw by the other team. You frowned. They were really quick to dribble the ball around the court to their hoop.

You signalled for your teammates to surround the opposing team and try to get the ball back in your possession. Right as they tried to score a point, Minji leaped forward to grab the ball and succeeded.

Your team scored first with a clean shot by Yunjin, who scored a two pointer. The room erupted in cheers as you gave her a thumbs up and Haseul patted her on the back.

The game continued with your team leading. You had scored 18 points so far with the scoreboard reading 26-20. The opposing team was closing in on you guys. It wouldn't be far before they caught up. You needed to step up your game.

Your team walked to where Mingyu was standing. He looked pleased with the outcome so far, but he was still very strict with his rules. He needed you guys to win that trophy. Although it was just the first game of the season, he wanted both his teams to start out well.

As Mingyu instructed your teammates on what to improve and how to identify more weak spots of the other team, you looked towards where your friends were sitting, smiling at them when they sent you signs of cheer and love.

Your eyes flickered towards the entrance door as you saw it open. Your breath hitched when you saw the person you had been longing to see for so long.

He had come after all.

Not wanting to get distracted by him, you quickly look away to avoid eye contact, deciding to talk to him after you had won the game.

Soon, the game had begun again.

The second half of the game went smoother than the first half.

Until the opposing team suddenly started getting so much better. It was almost like you guys didnt have the ball in possession anymore. They were scoring points after points after points and it was stressing you out, making you miss shots.

You were down to the last 5 minutes of the game with the score being 63-65 with your team leading. The ball was in the opposing team's possession.

You had been observing their strategy. They would try to play rough and make quick movements to steal the ball from your hands. And the sequence was always the same. Most of the shots were made by their shooting guard, Seeun, who was assisted by their power forward, Asa.

Realising that they had only one strategy, you quickly motioned Minji and Yunjin to block those two players, smirking when you saw them look at each other, confidence clearly crumbling now that their strategy was uncovered.

Yunjin noticed one of their teammates trying to pass it to Asa and jumped in and caught the ball in her hands. You let out a small cheer and ran towards your position near your hoop, watching as Haseul and Yunjin took turns passing the ball to each other and finally passed it to you.

You glanced at the clock, which showed that you only had a few seconds left before the game ended.

It was now or never.

From where you stood behind the arc, you jumped up, praying to whatever god was out there and letting the ball go from your hands.

It was as if time slowed down as you watched the ball fly to the hoop. The whole court watched in silence as the ball hit the box on the board and fell into the hoop, scoring a perfect 3-pointer.

The room erupted in cheers. Your teammates screamed in joy as you stood there, not fully processing that you had just won the game.

The girls ran to you and lifted you up in the air on their shoulders and you came back to reality, laughing out loud.

You had won. You had actually done it.

As your teammates dropped you back onto the ground, you hugged them tightly. They had all played so well and you wouldn't have won if it wasn't for them.

After celebrating with your team, you ran towards your coach and smiled when he gave you the biggest smile along with a hug, congratulating you on your first win of many more to come.

You ran to where your friends were and gave all of them the biggest hug you could. If it wasn't for their support, you wouldn't have even been able to reach this. You saw Hanni and Danielle tearing up a bit and you felt yourself tearing up too.

“I love you guys so much.”

“We love you too honey, but I think you've got someone else to say that to.” Your friends pointed towards someone behind you and you didn't need them to tell you who it was as you saw Riki walking towards where you were standing with your friends.

“Okay, we’ll leave you two alone then.”

Riki smiled at you, clearly thrilled at the outcome of your first match. You could only smile back even wider, running towards him and wrapping your arms around his shoulder as he wrapped his around your waist, giving you a bear hug.

“I'm so proud of you, Y/N.”

You tore away from the hug and looked at him with teary eyes. You couldn't believe he had shown up to your game.

“I- I thought you werent gonna come watch.” You sniffed, his arms still holding you close.

“Why? What made you think that way? Did you really think I was going to miss my most favourite girl’s match?” He said, and your heart leapt.

“You were absent for days and I thought you would be mad at me for lashing out on you the other day and you didnt show up for the first half of the game so I kind of…thought you werent going to show up.” You frowned.

Riki brought up a hand to remove some of the hair that was sticking to your forehead. “Sorry about that by the way,” He sighed. “My grandma fell sick so I had to stay home to take care of her. She’s much better now, which is why I am currently standing in front of you.”

You grinned at him, before remembering you had to apologise for shouting at him.

“Riki, I'm so sorry about the other day. I was stressed but I know that was no reason to lash out at you. And Im sorry I ditched you that day on the rooftop. I did come there but you were with another girl so I got...jealous and ran away. I understand if you're mad at m-”

You couldn't finish what you were saying because Riki had had enough of your rambling. His lips were pressed against yours in the most gentle way possible and you felt your heart beating out of its cage.

He pulled back after a few seconds and placed his forehead on yours. “I know. It's okay, you weren't feeling your best, and I'm not mad at you at all, okay?”

You were incapable of saying anything to him because you were so dazed from feeling his lips on yours.

“You didnt let me kiss you back.” You murmured, too quietly for the boy in front of you to hear properly.

“What?”

You looked into his eyes, occasionally flickering back to his lips and feeling your breath hitching in your throat as you saw him reciprocate your actions.

“I said, let me kiss you back, doofus.” And your lips were on his again, which he gladly welcomed, smiling into the kiss.

It was as if everything fell into place when your lips met. His lips moulded with yours so softly which contrasted the way he held you close to him. He held you to him as if he was scared that if he let go, you would disappear.

You couldn't have asked for a better first kiss. Although it was a bit awkward at first, it melted into something so pure and full of the love that you held for each other. Riki rubbed small circles on your hip, making you feel dizzy from all the attention he was giving you.

Pulling away to breathe, you kept your faces close as the two of you broke out into wide grins.

“Oh and by the way, that girl you saw at the rooftop was asking for Sunoo hyung’s number, not mine. So youve got nothing to worry about, Im all yours.” He clarified.

All yours. You liked the sound of that.

“So…I read all the signals correctly right? You like me back?” He asked you and you could only nod, still feeling high from the kiss and your win.

“Yes I do, dumbass.” You giggled and gave him another peck for good measure.

He pulled away a bit so he could see your face properly. “So then you'll be my amazing, talented, basketball girlfriend?”

“If you say so.”

Riki couldn't help but let out another wide smile at your response, hugging you again before leaving a kiss on your forehead.

Unbeknownst to the two of you, your friends had been watching the two of you from afar, squealing as they saw the two of you kiss.

“Ugh, finally. Took them months to do this.” Sunoo laughed, the rest of them nodding in agreement. Danielle smirked, looking at Jungwon and Hanni.

xx.

“Now it's your turn.”

AND THATS THE END!!! If youve made it till here, thank you. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I rlly hope you liked it :)

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pitchsidestories · 3 months

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Nothing's New II Jill Roord x Reader

masterlist I word count: 2216

warnings: mentioning of ACL injuries, hurt, comfort

a/n: as always this is just fiction. Your feedback is always appreciated, based off this request.

When the diagnosis arrived, you were horrified. The three bad letters no football player ever wants to hear. An ACL rupture. The same injury you sustained just a few weeks ago.

Since you already had your surgery done and were no longer on crutches, you took it upon yourself to take care of your injured girlfriend like she did for you. You set a tea cup down on the coffee table in your living room and gave Jill another pillow so she could be as comfortable as possible as she rested her knee on the sofa.

“Okay, are you comfy and ready, Jill?“, you asked gently. Jill just nodded once; “Yes…“ Carefully, you sat down next to her and took her phone in your hand. You started scrolling through all the unread messages she had gotten since the diagnosis. Touched by all the kind words, you started to smile as you read the first few messages to her; “Alright, Viv says you got this.“

“Of course, she did…“, Jill sighed, hinting at the fact that her team mate in the dutch national team was already back playing. “And she’ll be there when you need to talk or just want to have a good cry.“, you continued in hopes that this would cheer your girlfriend up. Jill just pressed her lips together to a straight line; “Thats’s sweet.“ “I agree. Do you want a break or hear from another person who reached out?“

To your surprise, she nodded in your direction for you to continue; “No, keep going.“ “Shanice wants to remind you that she’ll be always there for you and you’re going to win this battle. And she ended on that she loves you, Jilly.“, you read the next post. Finally, a smile tugged on the corners of her mouth; “That’s so Shanice.“

“Agreed. On the photo she has a camera in her hand. I guess it’s worth to remember that the next months are still worth capturing in photos. The beautiful and the ugly.“, you gently reminded her. Jill shrugged, not excited to talk about her hobby; “We’ll see about that.“ You reached out, placing a hand on top of your girlfriends; “At least you said something similar to me… almost a month ago.“

The dutch football player locked eyes with you and admitted; “Sorry, I was underestimating how different it feels when it actually happens to yourself.“ “It’s okay, really. I just wish you didn’t have to go through it as well.“, you replied unhappily.

Softly, Jill rubbed circles on the back of your hand with her thumb; “At least we’re going through it together I guess.“ “That’s true.“, you agreed, while your girlfriend took the phone from you with her other hand. Placing it next to her, she decided; “I think that’s enough for now.“

“Okay.”, you agreed quietly. The forward placed a soft kiss on the top of your head: ”Thanks.” “You’re welcome.”, you mumbled leaning against her upper body as she wrapped her arms around you, trying to comfort you both.

She took a deep breath before trying to articulate how the messages affected her:” It was sweet of them but..” “But it’s all too much at the moment, right?”, you ended her sentence in an understanding tone. Exasperated Jill went through her hair with her free hand: “ I don’t like to be pitied.” “Did you pity me?”, you asked her cautiously.

Looking down at her fingers the Dutch woman admitted:” A bit.” “See?”, you looked up to her, her looking so miserable made your heart break again. Slowly she tried to explain herself: “I mean it’s like the injury that every female football player is scared of.”

These words ignited a fire in your stomach which made you jump off the sofa:” Yes, and still, no one seems to care about that!” “The players and the fans care.”, your girlfriend disagreed. Her response didn’t seem to calm you down it only made you more furious with what was currently happening:” That’s nice but it doesn’t stop them from happening, right? Don’t misunderstand me, the support from their side is great but it needs to be more researched when it has been in the past!”

“You’re expecting too much. We’ve just won the fans over for our sport. Until medical departments and brands will acknowledge it, it might take a long time.”, your girlfriend reminded you. “And so many things have changed since we started playing football professionally for club and country.” “Yes, in good and in bad ways.”, Jill commented cooly.

Hearing that you couldn’t help to remark bitterly:” True like with the club world cup? Is it something we really needed? More games and less downtime? We see it even the men do their ACLs more recently and that might be because they play too much aswell.” “It’s because they try to commercialize everything. FIFA and UEFA only care about the money they can make with us.”, the blonde scoffed.

In frustration you shook your head:” But we’re humans not machines!” “Looks like they think differently.”, Jill pointed out cynical. More hopeful you continued:” But the protest is rising so maybe things will change for the better.” “Doesn’t help us right now anyway.”, the forward whispered, an amused smile was playing on her lips.

Irritated you observed that change in her face:” Exactly why are you smiling now?” “It’s just how can be such a small person be so full of rage?”, she shrugged with her shoulders. Promptly you protested:” I’m not small.” “Yes, you’re.”, Jill teased you, the grin on her face deepened by your immediate reaction.

Pouting you replied:” No, you’re just tall.” “I’m not that tall.”, the fellow football player answered while thinking about her height compared to Bunny’s. Her remark made you roll your eyes:” Sure, love.”

“Not my fault that you’re tiny.“, Jill shrugged, unimpressed. You shook your head with a slight smile; “Rude. But whatever makes you smile I guess.“ “Doesn’t matter anyway. We both tore our ACLs independent of our heights.“, your girlfriend commented with a nod towards your knee.

You suddenly remembered a text message you got earlier that day and swiftly changed the topic; “Alex asked earlier today if we want to travel with the team to the Tottenham game. What do you think?“ Jill took a few seconds to contemplate your suggestion, before slowly nodding: “We could at least support the girls, right?“ “Yes, definitely.“, you agreed, trying to keep the excitement out of your voice. “Yeah, we’ll go.“, Jill said decidedly. You smiled; “Alright. I’ll tell Alex tomorrow.”

Just a few days later, you both were seated in Tottenhams stadium on Brisbane Road. Right before their warm-up, your teammates came over to say hello. Alex Greenwood pulled you both into a quick hug; “Hi girls.“ “Hello, Al.“, you smiled warmly at your captain. “How are my left and right ACLs?“, she grinned, pointing towards Jills knee brace.

“We’re okay. Weirdly, that little one is not as furious in front of her team mates like she was before.“, she replied with a laugh. Alex raised her perfectly done eyebrows; “Oh, was she?“ You grimaced; “Please, Jilly!“ Your girlfriend deliberately ignored you and continued; “She was really upset about the situation surrounding ACLs.“ “It’s understandable though…“, Leila Ouahabi joined the conversation. “Thanks, Leila.“, you smiled.

With curiosity, Alex turned back towards you; “Have you thought about using that anger for something?“ “Actually, I did. I’m going to do an interview about it next week.“, you admitted, your cheeks blushing slightly. Your girlfriend shrugged next to you; “Couldn’t stop her from doing that.“ “That actually sounds like a good idea.“, Kerstin Casparij agreed enthusiastically.

Esme also chimed in with her soft voice; “I agree. The more players say something, the more likely things are going to change.“ “Yes, Leah talked to the Telegraph not long ago… the more voices, the better.“, Lauren Hemp added. Laura Coombs tried to lighten up the mood by ellbowing Lauren in the side; “I’m surprised that you even remember that I sent you that article.“ “They are mean to me, y/n…“,

Lauren pouted with big innocent eyes. “No, Coombsy is actually proud of you, Hempo.“, you tried to mediate the dispute. Laura laughed; “I am!“ “Oh, okay.“, Hempo said, still looking warily at her team mate. “It’s an important topic and we have to stick together.“, Laura concluded. You nodded; “Exactly.“ Your conversation was interrupted by Alex clapping her hands; “But now we’ve got to play, girls.“ “Good luck, girls. We’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines.“, you called after them as the group of football player started to disperse.

Gratefully Lauren turned around to look at you: Thanks.” “We’ll win this for you guys.”, Kerstin promised you and Jill. Cheerfully Esme added: “Oh yes.” “Just go play.”, your girlfriend chuckled. In her captain mode Alex wrapped her arms around the two younger players: “Okay, that’s enough girls, you should listen to Jilly.” “Yes, mum.”, Lauren rolled her eyes.

The game started and as you and the tall blonde took your seats your heart sank at the sight of your teammates playing:” I missed them.” “The girls?”, she asked with a sad feeling. You could sense that she went through the same mixed feeling watching the match unfold in front of your eyes. Quietly you replied:“Yes.” “I know they’re the sweetest.”, Jill admitted.

Hearing her saying that you began to ramble: “They are. I’m glad you joined City in the summer even though I know you wanted to go to Barcelona.” “I mean everyone wants to play for the best club, right? But I’m not sure I would have felt as loved there as I do here.”, the forward said seriously. Her fingers and yours were intertwining, making you both feel grounded, as you recalled: “True. Lucy and Keira love it there..” “Yes, but I love it here.”, the Dutch woman reassured you pulling you back into the moment.

When your team scored in the ninth minute you started cheering loudly:” Oh my god, they scored!” “Yes, girls.”, Jill clapped happily. Apologetically you bit your lip: “Bunny will score another one. I’m sure of it. Sorry, I didn’t want to.” “It’s okay.”, she told you, rubbing your back to keep you warm and calm.

Manchester City was dominating the game when they scored the next goal in the second half, you couldn’t help to be moved at what was happening on the pitch: “Look what Hempo is doing.” “Where is she going? Oh my god. That’s so cute.”, Jill exclaimed. Meanwhile Lauren was holding up a Roord jersey making sure they were thinking of her.

After the match the blonde forward was hugging your girlfriend:” Jill? Have you seen it?” “Hempo, you stood right in front of us, of course I saw it.”, amused the Dutch woman shook her head. With a bright grin on her face Leila put an arm around her friend:” Yeah but I get you Hempo, one can never be sure when Jill is with her girlfriend like is she looking at her or at the pitch. One can never be sure.”

“Oh, shut up, that’s not true. I’m always looking at the pitch.”, Jill answered blushing. Immediately Esme was there to defend Laurens statement:”No, it’s true!” “You’re both right but Jill do you want to take a picture with us celebrating the win?”, Alex changed the topic. Smiling Jill agreed to it: “Sure, why not?” “That turned out perfect.”, Leila beamed looking at the photo they made together. Hempo chirmed:” Best team ever.” “Come on girls time to catch the bus back home.”, Alex reminded you all.

During the drive home you were cuddled up with your girlfriend watching the Arsenal game against Liverpool when Vivianne scored you couldn’t help but to jump up celebrating it:” Viv’s goal was amazing.” “Careful.”, worried Jill pulled you back to your seat. Your cheeks turned red:” Sorry, I was just so happy for her.” “It’s okay but you still got to be careful.”, she replied softly wrapping her arms around you. Into the warmth of her you whispered:”I’m good.” Before you slowly fell asleep.

Cheekily grinning Lauren asked:”Esme, do you have that on camera?” “I do.”, the blonde defender laughed. Curiously Jill turned around to face the two younger teammates:” Were you filming her reaction to Viv’s goal?” “Yes.”, Esme confessed. Smirking the forward wanted to know from them: “Can you send it to me I’d love to send it to Viv?” “Already done.”, Lauren waved it off.

With that answer the Dutch lifted an eyebrow up: “Seriously?” “You’re welcome.”, the English defender giggled. “Thanks, I guess.” Innocently her fellow England teammate:” Can we take a photo of her sleeping?” “No. I don’t trust you to not post it.”, Jill decided. Leila couldn’t help but to tease her:” You’re so overprotective of her.”

“Oh come on, guys.”, your girlfriend sighed frustrated. Quickly the Spanish defender continued:” We’re just joking, you two are cute.” “Will you let her sleep now then?”, hopeful Jill glanced at your teammates. In a low voice Esme gave in: “Okay, fine. Sleep well, y/n.”

Nothing new was the rise of ACL injuries but you’d never get tired of the warmth and love the mancity girls had for eachother.

#Spotify #jill roord #jill roord x reader #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso one shot #woso community #woso #manchester city women #leila ouahabi #alex greenwood #lauren hemp #esme morgan #oranjeleeuwinnen #vivianne miedema #jill roord imagine #mancity women

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chiriwritesstuff · 3 months

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The Girl in IT - Chapter 7 'Linger' - Sneak Peek!

... and the Slack messages are back! What happens when Sarah announces a Mandatory All-Hands Meeting? Will she be able to keep it together? (The answer is no, no she can't). Chapter 7 out soon!

#MCG ADMIN 50 members Sarah (HR) Good morning, Team! I hope you're all doing well. I'd like to announce a mandatory All-Hands HR Meeting today at 11 am in Conference Room A, co-facilitated by Tess and me. We'll have a brief presentation, and for those working remotely, please log into Zoom to join the meeting. Following the session, thanks to Bill, we'll have lunch and refreshments provided. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions. Looking forward to seeing all of you soon! Tommy Sarah, are you gonna bust your Papi's balls in front of everyone for posting that naughty photo? 💀☠️🪦 Frank (Interior Design) Will there be an opportunity for discussion following the presentation? I'm eager to delve into the minds of 🍆Gate and understand the motivations behind their actions the other day. Connie (Reception) It's clearly because they're fucking, Frank. 🍆🍑🦪 Frank (Interior Design) Who is? Our fearless leader and our shy girl in IT? Until one of them makes it official, it's just hearsay! Is this meeting a hard-launch for a new power couple? 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 Sarah (HR) Yes, there will be an open-forum discussion after my presentation but NO, we will not be talking about the events of the other day in detail. Connie, this is a professional space and we will conduct ourselves as such. Connie (Reception) Why am I always being singled out?? Frank started it! Frank (Interior Design) Did I not conduct myself in a professional manner? Geez Connie, I'm not the one sending nudes to our Boss when clearly, he has a girlfriend. Wait. Oops? (Sorry Connie 🤡)

#the girl in it #pedro pascal #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller x you #pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller x female reader #joel tlou #joel the last of us #sneak peek #joel x reader #joel miller fanfic #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us hbo #joel miller tlou #joel miller smut #joel miller fic

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meimi-haneoka · 5 months

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Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Chapter 80 (FINAL): Comments + JP-ENG translation differences

CCS Faaaans!!! Welcome to our last (?) monthly appointment with the analysis, commentary and list of translation differences for THE FINAL chapter of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card!!! 🥹🥹🥹

Aaaaaah, I can't believe that after seven years and a half of serialization, we're finally here!!

I still remember the strong emotions I felt when I had seen the pages of Nakayoshi for chapter 1 in advance, back in June 2016....it seemed like a miracle, to me. Like a "mirage". And back then I still didn't know just HOW MUCH of a precious miracle this sequel would've become to me!

So it's with shaky hands and a trembling, emotional heart that I write this post to you...I hope you can excuse the length of it (maybe take a break in between?), I'll do my best to highlight the translation differences (unfortunately we definitely got some for this finale, one in particular made me quite mad) so you can spot them immediately among the sea of words and feels I will inevitably pour into my writing...

The "Beaver Moon" was big and shiny just a few days ago, and like all the full moons at the end of the month, it brought us a chapter, a very special finale for this series.

And as I usually do, I really cannot skip this silly moment that accompanied me for so many commentary posts, so here you go, my dear readers, the last Gif Of The Month!!!

I had already decided that, no matter the content of the chapter, I would've used this, because it is my intention to give my congratulations to CLAMP for reaching the end of this wonderful story and also thank them for giving me a multitude of emotions over the years. I've been happy, angry, excited, teary-eyed, frustrated, confused, hopeful, in pain, in love. I'll always be grateful to them for changing their mind and deciding to give us a sequel of this beloved series, after so many years of dreaming of it, and for making me fall in love with the new characters, none excluded!

So, off we go, under the cut for this commentary of the finale!!

The Color Page

Oh my heart 😭😭😭 I really wondered if they would go for it, if they would shoot us with feels right from the first pages and they did, they paid homage to the color page of chapter 50 of the old manga!! ❤️ We can see the same bluebirds that were featured back then, still holding in their little beaks lots of ribbons coming from the pink roses bouquet that Sakura is preciously holding... And that also made me realize that these are the same birds that were featured last month for Akiho and Kaito's color page too!!! ✨ They definitely, definitely wanted us to get the message that all of them will be truly happy from now on. ❤️I actually appreciate even more that Mokona-sensei took care in including those birds for the color page of Akiho/Kaito too.

Back in the old manga, CLAMP had given a comment for the illustration of chapter 50, saying that it was created that way to give a sense of looking forward to the future, and the absence of the Star Wand here was a precise request from Ohkawa to Mokona, because Sakura would've tried her best from now on, without necessarily relying on her magic.

Here, in chapter 80, we can somehow see the same theme but Sakura isn't proceeding "forward" towards a specific direction, it seems more like she's floating comfortably, assisted by her loyal Flight Card, embellished for the occasion (it makes it look kind of "upgraded", right?). I get a sense of Sakura feeling way more comfortable with her natural gift than she's ever been.

The blue sky, the ribbons, the bluebirds, the bouquet of pink flowers, the presence of a flying Card, Sakura's bare feet and her beautiful smile are definitely elements common to both illustrations.

Here Sakura wears a longer outfit, more elegant, which of course makes her look more grown up, as it should!

The editorial text on this last page doesn't carry words of thanks like in the color page of the final chapter of the old manga (those this time around were printed directly on the cover of Nakayoshi), but actually "My invincible spell is....'Everything is surely going to be alright' "! I think it was a very nice choice to feature the Invincible Spell in the front page of this final chapter. ✨

Between this and the absolutely divine Sakura on the cover of Nakayoshi, I can feel my heart softening and filling up with lots of hope and comfort, helping me to cope with the imminent "loss" that I'm going to experience.

BUT! It's not time to let us be caught by those mischievous feelings that want us to cry at all costs, and so we're gonna proceed for the actual chapter!!

The Books In Fujitaka's Library

The final chapter starts with Sakura chatting with Eriol and Kaho in a videocall over the phone!! The thing that immediately stands out is that Sakura is still wearing the full-winter uniform, so it's apparent right from the first panel that rather than turning back, the events are proceeding forward from where we left them, exactly as Sakura wished.

It's still winter, spring is almost here and we're almost towards the end of the 1st year of middle school for Sakura & co.

Another thing that I, as a foreigner, couldn't help but doing is calculating what time should've been for Eriol and Kaho, since they live in Europe like me! 😂😂😂 Having followers and friends all over the world, it's just normal for me. Well, if this is early morning, it should be night for the Europeans, so maybe that background at the window should be black?? 😂😆 Who knows if sensei will fix it, in the tankobon?

But enough with the silly things, let's see what Sakura is discussing with these two.

The very first thing we hear is quite shocking: Sakura slept four entire days to recuperate from the insane fatigue after the last battle!!

When I've heard that, my immediate thought was going towards all kinds of realistic, very practical issues like "did they keep her hydrated, in these four days? What about the bladder? 😱" but come on, way crazier things happened in this finale and this is the last thing we should worry about 😂

Eriol sweetly says that everyone waited impatiently for Sakura to wake up (I can imagine that!! Syaoran and Akiho must have died of anxiety). In Japanese, his sentence is somehow left trailing off, it gives me the impression that he wanted her to know that she's cared for, but in a very polite manner and avoiding to make her feel guilty for it. Sakura, as the good girl she is, tries to apologize for making them worry, apologies that Eriol doesn't need, so she ends up thanking both him and Kaho for what they did for her (and we can see Kaho peeking in the videocall! I'm glad she recovered too! As usual she's wearing nice outfits, the transparent veil over the skirt is interesting!).

Kaho, with her usual "maternal" aura, says that seeing her in good shape and hearing her cheerful voice over the phone is more than enough to her, which makes Sakura happy.

Eriol then proceeds to ask a question about the books he saw flying away at full speed after Sakura removed all the spells and the graphics from the artifact (the huge book), which then transformed into said smaller books: he wants to know where they ended up to, and lo and behold, they're nowhere other than in Fujitaka's library, in the basement of Sakura's house! 😱

So we can see a flashback depicting a scene right after Sakura woke up (she's still in her PJs), and her father shows her a pile of ancient-looking books sitting on his desk and on the floor.

Yes, those are all the magical books that Akiho had read and (unknowingly) engraved on herself, which were about to crush her soul. There's really a lot of them, so I don't have a hard time believing that she was really on the verge of losing her soul forever.

As Fujitaka tries to explain himself, it seems Sakura worked so hard and in the end those books ended up landing right at their house!

And then, in a very moving scene, we see Fujitaka being just so happy because finally, after so many years (since 4th grade) of just watching over his daughter going through several hurdles and not being able to be helpful in any concrete way (because he didn't have magical powers, and even when magic was passed onto him, he didn't know how to use it), NOW he can finally be of assistance to her.

He then tells her not to worry, because he already got several "weird" books in his collection (hell we knew, the Cthulhu books were surely a surprise 😂), and that anything goes where it's supposed to go, when its due time comes. He believes these books, too, will reach their new fated destination one day, so until then, he will take care of them. ✨

By the way, you all saw it, right?? YES, it's there again. Fay's tattoo on that book! 😂CLAMP REALLY wanted us to see it, didn't they?

Is this insistence in featuring elements coming from Tsubasa a sign of something in the future...? Or are they just messing with us....?

I bet even this book one day will find its way to Celes country, to have that tattoo used in the way we all know.

Anyway, I REALLY loved this scene because it just shows CLAMP's firm intention to involve *all* the main and side characters in this collective effort to help Sakura solving Akiho and Kaito's situation (Fujitaka was indeed the one missing from the support group!).

It's just so good to know that a tiny frustration that Fujitaka expressed in this arc (how he couldn't be of help to his own daughter) was finally put to rest too, with this new task he took upon himself.

I strongly believe that Sakura, once again guided by her infallible instinct and empathy, subconsciously wished those books into her father's library, because she just knew that her father would be the perfect person to guard them and keep them safe for the time due.

The Cards

Back to the present, Eriol comments that Sakura's father is really dependable, and she can only warmly agree!

But Sakura's got questions of her own, for Eriol. She asks what happened to the transparent cards (note: even this time, Sakura keeps calling them with the japanese term 透明, "transparent", and never calls those cards クリアカード, the English term that gives name to the arc).

Eriol gives his own explanation: the transparent Cards were probably bound into the book of the guardian Sakura met (and not "befriended" like the ENG wrote), and as such, they became magical power used to activate the "forbidden magic".

About the newly created Remind and Blank Cards, Eriol guesses that the last magic that Sakura summoned thanks to those two Cards was so "violent" (the term used 凄烈 means "violent, intense, fierce") that it ended up exhausting completely the Cards' magical power.

Sakura says "so...they're gone", confirming that yes, even those two disappeared after being used.

Eriol asks about the Cards Sakura had from before, our dear Sakura Cards, and she releases them in the room to show to Eriol their current appearance: it seems like they have taken up some elements from the transparent cards, mixing up their designs! They look really cool and empowered, like this! Eriol attempts to explain this occurence as an influence of the fact that Sakura used some of them with her new Dream Staff, hence why their new appearance!

It seems like she'll be able to use all of them with that staff from now on, so this is a first hint to something that will be referenced in a stronger way in a few pages.....

Kaho gets closer to Eriol's computer and says "Don't worry, I can see they still love you all the same, Sakura-chan, there's no problem about it!" and then she spots Flight among the deck. Sakura confirms happily that it's still here and Eriol says "it's a testament to its perseverance!".

And then, Sakura wants to talk to Eriol about Akiho and Kaito too......but we're not allowed to hear it yet, because we only see Sakura nodding and "uh-uh"-ing at the phone and then Kero warns her that she's going to be late for school, so our girl hurriedly hangs up with her friends abroad.

Her dear small glutton guardian tells her to not push herself since she barely woke up yesterday, and when Sakura goes to pick the pin she wants to use today in the jewelry box (it's the pin Yukito gave her as a present in chapter 1!), she picks up the Star Key. And here, unfortunately, I have to point out the first concrete translation difference of this chapter in a scene that many were waiting for:

ENG: "This key....I wonder if it'll leave someday, too. To go to where it should be, to the side of the person it chooses to be with"

JP: "This key, too...I wonder if one day it'll go...to the side of the person it should be with"

Now, what irritates me here is that in their usual need to embellish the translation, they added an unnecessary "the person it chooses to be with", which is something they made up because there's no mention of the verb "choosing" or anything like that in Japanese, and so it makes it seem like the key will one day just go away on its own, on its own volition.

Now, this is a VERY important scene because we all know what this is foreshadowing, the transition of the Star Wand from Sakura Kinomoto to the Reborn Sakura Clone in Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle through a dream, that cameo that made us scream all over the world in 2009. That scene was accompanied by a very beautiful and mature speech by Sakura Kinomoto herself, a sign that this "handover" was totally a well pondered choice of Sakura herself, not the key's.

The translation of this scene here in Clear Card tampers with the understanding of the events we got from Tsubasa and it really makes me wonder if the translator knows of this reference at all.....

Continuing on, Sakura goes downstairs and meets Touya having breakfast (and omg Kero goes to him!!! I still can't get used to these two interacting in the open), as usual Touya teases her calling her "monster", to which Sakura stiffens, but she shakes it off to thank her brother, to which he answers "no snacks for four days"!

Sakura at that point gets angry asking why, but he diverts her attention pointing out that she's gonna be late, so the girl bolts out of the door......not hearing her brother saying "that's the amount of days you haven't woken up, you silly!" (and Kero goes along with it).

Now, the ENG translation here interpreted this as a "payback", like Touya isn't going to make her snacks for 4 more days as a "payback" for making him worry like that, and initially I interpreted it like that too. But as I checked the Spanish translation, they interpreted it differently, as if Touya wasn't talking about the snacks that he won't prepare for the next 4 days, but actually the ones Sakura didn't eat during the period in which she was sleeping, and I think they're right because Touya calls Sakura "dummy, silly" so he might be referencing the fact that she misunderstood, here! Anyway, it's not a serious difference but I wanted to report it here anyway.

Sakura finds Syaoran out of her house waiting for her, and we see him all happy and embarrassed to go pick his girl up right outside her house to go to school together 🥰Syaoran got contacted yesterday from her (I don't know why in the ENG there's "last night", it's just "yesterday"), telling him that she was ok now, but of course that wasn't enough for our worrywart prince charming, so he's here this morning to escort her to school! Sakura can't avoid commenting "aw, you were worried about me!" and Syaoran honestly but embarassedly answers "that, and I wanted to see you as soon as possible". Omg these two...flirting like crazy in front of the audience even in the finale!! 😂(well of course!!). As one of my friends reminded me, this line was already said by Syaoran before, when he was revealing the whole truth about the Sakura Cards and was explaining to Sakura that he came back to Japan earlier than scheduled also because he wanted to see her sooner.

After a good dose of blushing which is always good for the health in the early morning, Sakura thanks Syaoran not only for walking her to school, but also for all the rest that he's done. She's clearly referencing the events of 4 days ago, and Syaoran answers that if he helped her even just a little, then he's happy. This vague reference to the events of 4 days ago seems lost in the ENG, as Syaoran casually answers that he's happy if he can help her sometimes (?). 少しでも means "even just a little", not "sometimes".

On the way to school, Sakura says that she already contacted everyone to say that she woke up and to thank them, but she seems to be wanting to go thanking Yukito directly at his house later, also because Nakuru and Suppi are there! As Syaoran adds, Sakura can see Tomoyo and Akiho later at school. Sakura says "...yes" with a slightly sad face because she already knows something about one of them.....

We switch to Yukito's house for the last look at our "snow bunny", still in Nakuru's company (when are they going back to England???) and wondering what kind of sweets should he offer to Sakura today, while Nakuru is hellbent on finally having Sakura call her "Nakuru-chan" today (I told you, she's like a 5 years old girl, she sees herself as a kid like Sakura 😂).

Then, turning suddenly serious, she says to Yukito: "Don't you dare doing anything else that requires a 'payment', understood?", which immediately made me realize that Nakuru remembers about Yukito's pact with the Tsukimine Shrine!! Then, they didn't just recover the memories strictly relating to Akiho!!!

Yukito, with a big smile, says "well...I can't promise you that" which understandably triggers in Nakuru a "Yukito, you're really stubborn!!" from the bottom of her heart! 😂

But there's a kitty sleeping on a cushion (or feigning to?), our dear Suppi who thinks to himself "All of you moon-aligned types are stubborn!!" and let me tell you, this arc showed us ALL the proofs of that! 😂(Yes, Kaito, we're looking at you! 😂😂😂).

Brand New World With You

Homeroom is starting in Sakura's class and Tomoyo makes sure that Sakura will take it easy since this is her first day back at school.

The teacher comes in, and she's already got a news for everyone (and here my heart already knew what it was): Akiho Shinomoto will be transferring away in one month! (Yes! it's Shinomoto again!)

The class is shocked, as Tomoyo is, but Sakura smiles and doesn't look surprised at all...

At lunch, everyone is so sad about Akiho transferring and Chiharu expresses how much she'll miss her, but also Naoko who loses a precious advisor for her scripts and a great actress since she wanted to cast her for the next play, seeing how wonderful she was in "Alice in Clockland". Tomoyo says that the chorus club will miss her too, and Yamazaki comments that Akiho lived in Hong Kong before transferring to Japan, so he asks her if she's still going abroad, even this time around. Akiho confirms, and then remembers that she needs to go to the teacher's room. Sakura insists to accompany her even if Akiho knows the way by now (and here we have a sweet, nostalgic recall to the same scene of the first chapter Akiho appeared in, chapter 7! Even the lines are almost the same). Of course, Sakura insisted because she wants to have a private chat with her....on their way there, she says she heard from Eriol that morning that she would be transferring abroad, but she would like to ask the reason why to Akiho herself.

Akiho says that, after all that happened, that same night she talked to Eriol (she calls him "Hiiragizawa-san" ❤️) for the first time.

He told her that he would be supporting her in any choice or anything she'd want to do from now on (the "anything I would choose" is missing from the ENG translation), and support her even with Kaito's circumstances.

Akiho was told by Eriol that Kaito kept hurting himself the more he used time magic, and that he shouldn't have been in a good condition after messing even with the "forbidden magic"....but apparently, Sakura managed to work a little miracle when she used Rewind on him.

When Sakura brought Kaito back to his original appearance, the pocket watch she used was almost completely repaired and its time stopped, and thanks to that, Kaito's time is stopped too.

I had already noticed that Kaito's life seems to be strictly connected to that pocket watch, as the more damage he took on his body, the more the watch broke. Sooooo in this scene we have some important information:

1- Eriol mentions the time magic Kaito used, how he kept using it and also the effect it would have on him, so it's legit to think that even him recovered the memories of the unrewritten timeline, not only the stuff strictly concerning Akiho.

2- Kaito's life is in a halted state (reminds you of someone?) and this means that his life is not flowing like other people's: he won't age, but his physical condition won't also get worse, as Sakura infers right after. The ENG translation suggests that Kaito won't be feeling any pain at all, but that's not the case: Sakura uses the words もっと辛かったり痛かったり, "more in pain and have a rough time (than this)", so he's still going to feel not so well from time to time, but at least his condition won't get worse than this.

Akiho confirms, and explains that because of this, they're going to look for a magic that will be able to heal Kaito and, in addition to that, a magic that would be able to make his stopped time move forward again. This won't certainly take short time and it won't be easy....but Akiho smiles beautifully while saying that she's sure that there is a book that carries those spells she's looking for.

And then....with a sad smile, she says there's another reason.

And here my heart sinked because I wanted to see her so badly and I got the confirmation she wasn't with them.......😭

I'm talking about Momo, of course, and Akiho agrees with me because the other reason they'll travel around is that she wants to see her beloved Momo and even the "Alice in Clockland" book.

This indeed sounds a lot like the resolutions of the characters of Tsubasa in their own finale, but after all, we've been saying for long time that Kaito and Akiho had many situations paralleling those of the SyaoSaku in TRC.

Akiho, with the most radiant and beautiful smile she's ever had, says that she's sure she'll find so many other books she's never read, beside the ones she'll be looking for.

"Because now I can go wherever I want, whenever I want, all by my own volition. Together with Kaito-san"

Sakura points out that books are, indeed, really special and important to her.

And really, Akiho's smile on this beatiful spread was enough to heal my heart from the disappointment of knowing that Momo wasn't with them, because Akiho really looks happy to start this journey with Kaito...she feels free for the first time ever.

No more clan dictating where she should go or what she should read, at her own expense at that, but also the situation between her and her beloved Kaito found its solution, with her stating loud and clear that even if he's her most important person and he did all of that for her, she's the only one who can decide her own happiness and change her own life. Akiho is finally free from all constraints, both from evil and from love, and honestly it's so comforting to see her so confident and happy.

My True Name Is....

And talking about Kaito, we switch to the Shinomoto mansion, where we see him in bed (he's still recovering - also we see his room for the first time!) and Akiho is telling him of how her friends took the news of her transferring abroad.

She was happy to hear that they're going to miss her, I bet this was the first time that people took any interest in her, so much to get to the point of saying "I'll miss you".....which totally explains why she's glad to hear that. She finally made true friends, here in Tomoeda.

Kaito is pleased to see her happy.

Akiho says that she's going to prepare dinner (my heart got warm thinking that now it's her the one cooking for him and he doesn't protest or anything) and she's going to make the no-fry croquettes that Sakura taught her (remember??? They had dedicated a chapter to that, and they were so important because Akiho learned them precisely for Kaito).

But Kaito kind of "interrupts" her, saying the thing WE ALL were waiting for him to say:

Kaito, JP (lit.): "I'm sorry. For having thought (all that plan) on my own and decided things without your permission. Even though I know that you're someone perfectly capable of writing her own chosen future on her own blank book"

Oooooooh. The feeling of puzzle pieces going to their right place, the sense of accomplishment, the satisfaction in reading these words from him. HE FINALLY UNDERSTOOD. And it took almost k*lling himself and causing to the very person he was trying to make happy an indescribable grief, to come to this point.

What a lack of self-esteem and underlying depression can do.

But thankfully, they all managed to save things at last minute and now he's learned his lesson. So the first thing he does when he's able to, is apologizing to Akiho. But not only that.

Akiho says Kaito's name, probably wanting to answer something in return, but he interrupts her again, saying something I've been dying to hear him say (lately I expressed here and on Twitter my wish to see precisely this scene in the finale):

"That's my alias"

Akiho is shocked at hearing that, and he says, with a serious face, "Can I tell you my true name?"

At this point, I was hollering, I won't really hide it or anything.

If you're CLAMP fans, you probably know how IMPORTANT and VITAL is an information like one's true name, especially for a magician. Yuuko in Holic said that if you give someone your true name, they can take your soul.

And I'm 100% sure that even Akiho knows how important true names are in the magic world, this is something that Momo already mentioned in one of the Drama CDs but here she confirms it herself, saying hesitantly: "Are you sure I should be hearing something so important?"

With the next thing Kaito says, I was almost calling an ambulance.

Heh, I know, this is me, what can I do? Their story got me by the throat and coming to this point is such an achievement, for me. 😅

"I want you to know it"

That あなた between brackets is so powerful. "You, above all".

In that "you" there's all the things he's not saying aloud, how unique and important she is to him. How much he trusts her with the most vulnerable part of himself. How much he's willing to give his entire soul, his everything to her, but this time in the correct way, without damaging anyone.

Akiho must be noticing all of this, because Mokona doesn't allow us to see her face, only her closed hand rising up, but from her ".....okay" I'm sure here she was quite touched.

So Kaito finally proceeds to reveal this secret that everyone was wondering about ever since chapter 51:

"Cristaux. That's my true name".

Cristaux is written with the katakana クリスト (pronounced kurisuto) which has already been misunderstood by many for "Christ" 😂, but thankfully CLAMP have put in the furigana the correct spelling in romaji.

Cristaux is a french word used to indicate crystals. Yes, plural.

So our crazy magician was named after crystals at his birth.

Of course, of course. Isn't crystals the overwhelming theme of this arc, after all? CLAMP made sure to feature some in many many color illustration they've done.

Also, while talking to a friend, I realized that now we might understand a bit better why Kaito made a very pensive face, disguised as Syaoran, when Sakura pointed out in Clockland (ch. 66) that the castle of the Queen had foundations made of crystal........

As usual with CLAMP, we've had the solution to the mystery under our nose the whole time! 😂This feels like Tsubasa 2.0, for real! 😂

It is surely an inusual name, but I mean, it seems many of the names CLAMP choose for their characters aren't that common, after all.

With this reveal, Kaito decided to start anew with Akiho, this time around from a basis of honesty and trust. He's never going to put up masks with her ever again (and even though it's confirmed they still talk in keigo to one another -which is something I've always imagined-, we've seen him using his true pronoun "ore" with her in chapter 78). This is the perfect foundation for a relationship based on communication and trust. Bravo Kaito, you did your homeworks.

Akiho places a hand over her chest, as if the precious name entered her heart, and says something that made me completely melt:

"I've written it on the most important page of my book. So I can never forget it".

This line makes me particularly emotional not only because it sounds SO SWEET, on the verge of flirting, but also because it seems to me like a callback to something that was said in a sadder situation.

Back in chapter 35, when Sakura ended up trapped into Akiho's artifact, she experienced Akiho's past on her skin. The day of the magic ceremony that turned Akiho into an artifact, some people from the clan/Association said "let's engrave all the magical books we can find into this girl's body, so she can never forget them. Just like a blank book".

Back then, these horrible words were used to abuse a poor child, but that child today turned them into the power to choose for herself.

She appropriates the same "book" analogy to turn it into a way for her to choose on her own. Kaito's name is a precious information that she chooses to write on her heart so she can never forget it.

It is a way for her to cope and have a catharsis for her trauma.

I honestly keep getting such wonderful messages from the story of these two characters, and I'll never thank CLAMP enough for creating them.

Kaito smiles softly at Akiho's words.

Then we go back to Sakura, Syaoran and Tomoyo, the "fab 3" who are going back home together, and we get some more information: it seems Eriol called Syaoran too (man, this guy called half the world to give explanations left and right 😂) and told him that he's going to buy Akiho and Kaito's house and look after it for them.

Sakura is really glad to hear that because it means that Akiho's huge collection of books will be safe and guarded in its library.

Tomoyo asks what they're going to do about Akiho's room at the Kinomoto house: in fact, if you look at the first panel of this chapter, you'll see that the additional portion that sprouted on Kinomoto house is still there: this means that Sakura gave everyone back their memories, but that magic didn't affect the discrepancies that arised from the rewriting of their world, hence why Akiho's room is still there.

Sakura talked about it with her dad and they decided they're gonna leave it untouched, as it is, so Akiho can always go back to it at any time. Did I cry at this? Yes, a little, because this is a sign that the Kinomotos will still keep considering her one of the family even if she'll be away, even if she'll have her life with Kaito, and I couldn't ask for anything better, for my sweet Akiho. It is so important for her to keep the bonds she created over time and know that now she's also got a network of people there for her. A second family where to turn to.

Sakura's having a real hard time accepting that Akiho will go away, and her smile becomes sad, before hugging Tomoyo and crying out "But I'll still miss her so much!!" 🥹poor Sakura 🥹I know, it's always so sad when someone that important to you leaves...

You'll Be Together Forever!!

One month passes by, and we can see some sakura flowers starting to bloom, this means we're at the end of March (and so we were in February before, just like I imagined). School year must be over pretty soon.

It's the big day, the day of departure for Akiho and Kaito, and Sakura+Syaoran went to see them off. Have you spotted it, on Sakura's scarf? Yes, that's the pin shaped like a teddy bear, the same Kaho gave her as a present and that she was wearing in the OG manga during the run at the bus stop to tell her feelings to Syaoran!

Akiho thanks Sakura for coming so early in the morning, and Sakura says she absolutely wanted to be there to see them off, actually she apologizes for making them delay their departure due to this meeting. Akiho is dressed with a cute outfit that is very remiscent of the one she's wearing in the color page of chapter 79.

A little separated from them to give their privacy, we see Kaito and his big suitcase, standing next to Syaoran. OMG it's so inusual to see them like that!!

Then, Kaito says "Time magic....I can teach it to you, if you ever want to use it". Syaoran is very surprised to hear that, and Kaito says that when he was still in the dragon form, he heard him apologizing to Sakura for not being able to use that magic because he hadn't learned it yet, remember?? 🥹

And Kaito just offered himself as a teacher, surely as a way to thank him for everything he's done to save him and Akiho.

But not only that: in a very sweet panel, he says he knows Syaoran won't use it in an inappropriate way, and I can totally hear that implied "as opposed to me". Oh yes I hear it loud and clear by the way this is phrased in Japanese. 😁

Then, he happily takes out his phone and asks him to exchange contact numbers, because they can be convenient for any occurrence! I feel like that was a good idea because they're surrounded by magic matters so much, it's always good to be able to count on the experience and knowledge of other magicians.

We see Syaoran being a bit perplexed at the request, but then reluctanctly (?) takes out his phone 😂oh lord his reaction is so funny....and this is also another proof that the characters remember what happened before, because Syaoran could have this reaction only for that reason 😂😂😂

While looking at them interacting so funnily, Akiho takes the chance to get closer to Sakura and whisper a very important information to her (it came!!! it came for her too!! I KNEW IT!! It's not WHAT I imagined but I've been saying forever that this would come 😂):

Akiho, JP & ENG: "My real name...is Cosmos"

What you guys can't see if you're reading the ENG version or any other language, is the duality of Akiho's true name here.

It's actually written in Japanese kanji, but the furigana that tells how to pronounce it are katakana for "Cosmos".

So it's like this:

Japanese name: 秋桜 (pronounced Akizakura, it's how Cosmos are called in Japanese)

Furigana (reading): コスモス (Cosmos)

It's not uncommon to find the Cosmos flowers being called directly with their katakana spelling, in Japanese.

All of this makes total sense for Akiho because her favorite flower is a specific type of Cosmos, the Chocolate Cosmos! They say they really smell like chocolate! So, just like Sakura, she's got the same name of her favorite flower.

But this duality of her name also allows Akiho to say what she's about to say:

Akiho, JP: "When we met for the first time, I was happy to learn I had one same character in my name as yours!"

I'm glad to see that more or less all the foreign translations did their best to explain the trick of the kanji, adding an explanation in the bubbles (they were big enough, thankfully). The ENG for example talked about "sharing a name" but Akiho here is meaning more "sharing a character" of the japanese name.

Sakura is of course really honored and happy to hear that, and thanks her for sharing such an important detail about herself.

And now, hahaha.....comes the part where I laughed SO, so much, because while to some it might sound strange for Akiho to do something like this, to me it isn't strange at all! Cause she's like that, her personality is far stronger than most think...

Our little mischievous Akiho here reveals to Sakura, still whispering, that she isn't going to share her real name with Kaito yet, because she's still a bit upset with him!! 😂😂😂

Oh lord, Akiho....oh dear....you have all the right to still be a bit upset, make him work hard to get such an important information from you!! 😂 I can't believe right now we have Kaito basically in Akiho's hands while Akiho, the one who seemed the most in love out of the two, is actually still withholding that from him! 😂😂😂 aaaaahhh trust CLAMP to always give you something interesting....this is totally in line with how I perceived her personality. 🤭I loved it!

Kaito needs to be really, really careful from now on! She's not gonna take any crap from him! 😂

And now I have to warn you because precisely as we reach the very last line Sakura will say in this arc, there is going to be another translation mistake, which I consider far worse than the other one I pointed out. I think getting it wrong precisely at the most important emotional point ruined a job that wasn't overall so bad, with this chapter (compared to others....).

Sakura, smiling, supports Akiho's idea, saying "Sounds good!", and then, utters the very last line of the arc:

ENG: "After all, we have a long future together ahead of us!"

JP: "After all, you'll be together forever from now on!"

I think you can easily guess why this translation mistake irritated me so much. I've checked the other translations and the Spanish one, the one I trust the most, agrees with me, just like the French one.

This translation is a failure for two reasons:

it failed to convey the fact that Sakura here is using almost exactly the same words she used in the OG manga at the end of volume 12, when she ran into Syaoran's arms, saying that they would be together forever from that moment on. I think iconic lines like these should be translated in the way the readers know them from the previous work, otherwise it's useless. You don't get the reference. In Japanese, back in volume 12 of the OG manga, it was "kore kara wa zutto issho da yo!" while here it is "kore kara wa zutto issho nandakara". And there is a reason for that.

this translation inexplicably made it about all of them, when Sakura was talking specifically about Akiho and Kaito instead. That "nandakara" at the end suggests that this sentence is strictly related to the one that came right before, "sounds good", as an answer to Akiho's plan to withhold her true name from Kaito for a while. Sakura here is simply saying that Akiho's idea sounds ok to her because those two will be together forever from now on, so she'll have all the time of this world to tell him eventually her true name, when she feels ready. Also, in Sakura's words, there's a deeper meaning: it's the last wish of happiness for those two, which comes from her own lived experience. At the end of volume 12 we saw Sakura uttering those same words, in her happiest moment of reunion with Syaoran...Sakura knows that happiness, the happiness of reuniting and be able to stay all the time with the person you love the most. This is the same thing she's wishing for those two right now, with these words. To be together forever and savor that same happiness she's living herself everyday. But if the translation makes it about all four of them, or even just about Sakura and Akiho, this underlying message, this last parallel between the two pairs is completely gone. Also, what's the sense in saying "we have a long future together ahead" if Kaito and Akiho are leaving?? It doesn't make sense to me. They once again managed to remove any hint of Kaito and Akiho being destined to be together for life, and bent the phrase to include everyone, just because they could. I find that quite disrespectful in my opinion.

Anyway, if you made it this far in reading the post, you now know how that line should actually be. I feel so embittered and disappointed that this happened precisely at the end...

But this time, as opposed to the OG manga, there's one more page to bring this arc to a closure: we can see the back of the new empowered Sakura Card (on the Card there's a mix of both the Star circle and the Dream circle), and the text reads:

JP, lit.: "When all the Cards are gathered, that's the beginning that comes from an end. A beginning to move on"

You have surely recognized it , this is exactly the same page that appeared at the very beginning of this arc, it's just that back then we had a Sakura Card's back, a more unsettling background, and lots of blank cards floating. Right now we have the back of the empowered Sakura Cards, a more serene background and instead of the blank cards, we have cherry blossom petals! ❤️

But most importantly, the sentence slightly changed too, communicating to all the readers that from the end of all the tribulations that our characters went through in this Clear Card Arc, they finally managed to move onto a happier life.

I think it's very beautiful how CLAMP decided to conclude this story, with a message of hope that not all endings are necessarily something bad, but they can simply hide behind them the beginning of something new and more positive.

Lord knows how much I needed to be reminded of this, in this moment of my life.

And surely this is also true for the end of this beloved series for many people around the world: after 7 years and half it's so hard to say goodbye to such a beloved story, but CLAMP want to give us one last present before saying goodbye to it for an indefinite period!

On the right side of the Japanese last page (this was not translated in the ENG one) we find the announcement that the April issue of Nakayoshi on sale on March 1st 2024 will bring us a special chapter of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card! Precisely one month before the release of volume 16! There's no info about how long it's gonna be, but anything is strongly welcome to say goodbye in a more gradual way...I wonder what it'll be about? This can be literally anything!! I would love for them to feature a situation in the future, rather than in the past....

Beware, because I've heard that Anime News Network translated this as a "special arc" in their news and that caused a ruckus...I've already tried to warn people on Twitter that's not correct, "tokubetsuhen" is the same term they used for the special short chapters they have published till now.

And so...it ends. We've reached the end!! Omg! I still can't register it fully....🙈

I will write some short additional comments about the chapter here but you'll have to wait for another, separate post to have my impressions and commentary on the entire Clear Card Arc.

I just want to say that this finale didn't feature everything I hoped/wanted to see, but other things were definitely granted.

It's just impossible to make everyone happy so I completely understand that.

And even though I'm truly disappointed about Momo and the choice to make her leave her two kids like that, I feel overall this disappointment doesn't stain my appreciation for this finale.

The things I wanted to see and got, the general happy and relaxed atmosphere, seeing all four of them so friendly with eachother, Sakura's final blessing with those words are enough to make me feel still quite satisfied with the finale.

Also, this feels so much more open than the OG manga. A lot more open. There are tons of elements one could grasp to in case they wanted to make a spin-off, or feature some of these plot threads as a cameo in another work. Akiho and Kaito's situation in particular, with their travels around the world, seems to be screaming "you'll see us again soon". I don't know if I'm just delusional but I've seen so many people saying the same.

And I have to say that despite my first choice was for Akiho and Kaito to stay in Tomoeda, they gave me enough good reasons to justify them departing again. I did, in fact, predict that an eventual resume of their travels could be plot related (if they had to continue escaping the Squids' radar or if they had to find a way to fix Kaito's situation).

Plus, Akiho seems so happy and free. How can I rebel against that, when they depict her so happy of her choice?

Also, nice of Eriol to step up and help those two. He's the other poweful and experienced magician who can put at their service all of his knowledge.

And then, Kaito's character development. Even here, I felt like I would've wanted him to say more, but then I remembered that Ohkawa in a Space long time ago had already said "I would want the readers, once it's over, to re-read this trying to understand 'why this character acted in this way?' " and it was clear that she was referring to Kaito. So, not exposing in detail Kaito's heart and the motivations that brought him to this point is totally intentional. She wants us to get there on our own. After all, she gave us another huge hint in this chapter, by making him reveal his true name to Akiho. I can only be grateful for that, especially for how he worded it.

Cristaux and Cosmos...while I'm really happy they have the same initials, I'm still trying to get used to those new names! 😂even though I know they'll keep using their aliases so it's not a big problem, we'll keep calling them Kaito and Akiho!

(And yes, I'm a bit disappointed that Akiho's true name isn't Alice! 😂)

It was nice to see SyaoSaku blushing and flirting in this finale, especially now that Touya gave his blessing to Syaoran, he can go pick her up for school when he wants!! 😂 I'm sure we'll get more SyaoSaku fluff in the special chapter, as this finale was mostly used to wrap up other stuff.

As I said, I adored the few panels of interaction between the two Moon Boys, Akiho's mischievous prank to Kaito....yes, I still have lots to be grateful for, in this finale.

I think this post just won the record for the longest one, so let me just take this space really quick before wrapping up to thank all of you who have read my posts, shared them, supported me, chatted with me about the story, and overall contributed with interesting discussions in this little personal corner. I would've never imagined, not even in my wildest dreams, that the existence and content of this blog one day would've reached even CLAMP, and this will stay as one of my biggest gratifications, especially cause they seemed to appreciate the effort. I just wish their story was treated better by some official translations.

I tried to do whatever I could to spread warnings about heavy translation mistakes, in addition to my interpretation of the story as I was reading it and analyzing it, since I've seen it helped many people understanding the story better and coming to terms with frustrations they had about it.

Clear Card Arc is undoubtedly more complex and requires a lot more of attention than the OG manga.

But I'm positive that re-reading everything in one go might help A LOT in that regard, maybe keeping my translation posts beside you....so I urge everyone to re-read the story when you have time, because it's worth it. Really.

That said, I'm not going anywhere for the foreseeable future: of course I'll comment the special chapter, but I also have in store the "Clear Card Trivia" series of posts, a post with the timeline of the events and a master post about my own review of the entire Clear Card Arc. And then, there's the season 2 of the anime too! You can bet I'll be here to comment on it every week!!

In the meantime, I want to thank all of you again for your patience, for reading me till now, and I also want to thank once again CLAMP-sensei for the wonderful sequel they brought to us in these past 7 years. ありがとうございます 🙏

See you soon!!

#card captor sakura #cardcaptor sakura #clear card arc #ccsakura #ccs spoilers #clamp #sakura card captor #sakura kinomoto #syaoran li #akiho shinomoto #yuna d. kaito #chapter 80 #translation differences

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