#that has Absolutely been a known trigger and a way to get me to immediately be emotionally back in hell

[elprupneerg]

Good news: talked over the triggering thing this morning a little bit

Bad news: immediately two other, different triggering things got brought up in rapid succession right afterwards

[emmyrosee]

doodoo fart 🦨 would you still love me if I was bald?

Rintaro doesn’t even get a chance to finish the water his sipping before he spits it back out, choking on it as he laughs aloud in front of his teammates.

The entire team turns to look at him, a brow cocked in confusion while he chuckles amongst himself.

Komori is the first to smile and chuckle himself, “something you’d like to share with the group, Suna?”

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before shaking his head, never being one to share your discussions with the group. He has an image, okay, and you being an absolute cracked menace is going to bring that image down one day- this, he’s convinced of.

“The better half’s just funny is all,” he says casually, watching his team begins to chatter once again in the locker room. Komori gives him an unconvinced, yet understanding look before letting him back to his phone where he’s finally able to face your

SENT is there something I need to be prepared for when I get home?

doodoo fart 🦨 depends on how you reply

would you

still love me

if i was bald

SENT I feel like this is a trap.

doodoo fart 🦨 you’re the one who leaves me alone all the time

im bound to fuck around when you’re gone.

Once again, Rintaro laughs to himself before he rises to excuse himself from the crowd. The possibility of you being bald is plenty to excite him and his amusement, wondering if you’ve done something unholy to your poor head.

He thinks you’d be hot with no hair. And wash days would just be such a breeze. Maybe there’s some merit to your potential madness.

He presses the small button to FaceTime you, settling up a small distance from the door- you’ve both been known to say some unsavory things, the last thing you need is to give Washio another reason to retire.

The phone rings once, twice, and a third before you answer, your ugly stunning face filling his screen. To his shame, his eyes immediately dart to the scalp of hair that still adorns your head, and he bites his lip as you cackle a victorious cheer.

He’s been duped by your stupid ass.

“I knew you’d take my bait,” you snicker. He laughs as he’s caught red handed, poking his tongue in the corner of his mouth while you laugh. “You think you’re soooo slick, like you aren’t obsessed with me. You aren’t shit, bro.”

“I’ve been letting you hang out with the twins too much,” he snickers, leaning against the brick wall of the stadium. “Though I would’ve scream-laughed if you answered the phone and was completely bald.” You snort and he cards a massive hand through his sweaty hair, “there a reason you triggered a panic response in me at-“ he pauses and looks at the clock in the corner of his phone “15:44 on a Tuesday?”

“Because you’re cute when you’re panicked,” you hum, and he gives you his signature blank stare before chuckling when you laugh. “I mean it! Your pupils go a little dilated, you card your hair until it’s all fluffy, and you get this adorable blush-“

“I got it, you pay attention to me,” he groans, hand scrubbing down his face. “You’re so embarrassing.”

“You love me so much, man.”

“Shut up-“

“Truly living rent free in that noggin.”

“I’m gonna tell Komori on you.”

“Good, he’ll tell you the same thing,” you snort, and Rintaro shakes his head, grinning, as a sign of waving his white flag. “Go back to practice, booger. I’ll bug you later.”

“Promise?” He says, smiling while you give him a fake gag.

“After that, I don’t know.”

“I’ll take those odds.” He chuckles again before murmuring a soft ‘love you’ and hanging up; he pockets his phone and makes his way back into the arena.

Bald or not, and as much as he hates to confess it, he does adore your stupid ass and the antics that come with it.

Ugh.

[official-locke-writing]

Clarke Boetticher - A Character Study

Let's start with the Tumblr Special: how would Clarke react to meeting you?

Let's consider a scenario in which Clarke does not immediately attempt to get far away from you. He might appear guarded, aloof, or even hostile right off the bat. He may be reserved, speak cautiously, or keep conversations brief to avoid revealing too much about himself or his involvement with the cult. He could suddenly become agitated or withdrawn and not want to be around you. Small gestures of kindness and clarity are something only seen after trust has been built. He's rather enigmatic and introverted. Quiet, but in a calculated way.

The moment you know too much, he'll slit your throat, so try not to pry.

And I know there's the age-old question of, "is he romanceable/can I ship him with my character/myself, etc?"

The answer is circumstantial. This isn't a man with any kind of social skills nor has he known love. He tried that fiasco with Natalie and it ended with him hysterically laughing at her maimed corpse.

If, theoretically, you could get past his skittish eraticisms, constant disappearances, disloyalty and him awkwardly brushing off your affection... perhaps. He will choose the cult over you every time. This is a situationship mixed with sporadic one night stands at best.

Chances are, though, he would want nothing to do you with. You better be damn special, and even special might not get you very far with Clarke.

As Clarke's creator, I genuinely do not care what fanfiction you write with Clarke in it, but I beg you to try and stick to my narrative. He's like this for a reason. Also it would make me happy.

Will he get along with my OC?

Clarke likes normal people. The more normal, the better. He's so tired of seeing monsters every day... so that's up to you. Is your OC a creepypasta or a survivor? He'll go for the survivor in terms of a budding acquaintance (as long as they don't end up with a mark on their back from the Web.) It doesn't matter if killing your character will absolutely crush him, Clarke can't say no to the cult.

Where's Masky and Hoodie? Are they friends with Clarke like in the classic creepypasta?

Copyright means we can't use them so we had to write them out.

This lovely trio from the classics is not really affiliated with each other in Blessed Be The Wicked. As stated in a previous post, Brian is a human hellbent on revenge against the cult after Slenderman took his friends' lives away in the events of Marble Hornets, and he is currently hiding among them as a "proxy." He walks, talks and makes himself look like them, and they haven't noticed quite yet, but Brian is on borrowed time...

Tim, however... well, he ended up getting a little too messy and violent than the cult would've liked, so they fed him to Calibri.

Clarke doesn't really know who Brian is, and Tim is dead. RIP.

What about his Tourettes? Has anything changed with how that is written?

His Tourettes overlaps heavily with his OCD. Clarke's tics are more word-based and compulsory actions than twitching. E.g., checking the locks repeatedly, flipping light switches, echolalia, or repeating a word/phrase during speech. He struggles with his brain hanging on words and sounds during a conversation, which can quickly trigger his anger and frustration.

One might catch Clarke arranging his belongings in a certain pattern, counting his steps as he walks, or adjusting things to make sure they line up/are straight. Clarke's inability to stay clean most times severely bothers him.

Here's some other little bits of info:

Smells like dirt, sweat and metal... sort of like ozone. He showers whenever he can afford to spend extra time in a victim's house after he's finished the job; but it's mostly rinsing off briefly in an icy creek.

The guy will absolutely demolish a cheeseburger and shitty diner coffee. After eating what he could hunt for so long (which was very little,) he's pretty strung out on hunger.

Clarke was inducted into the cult at seventeen and is now twenty-six, meaning he has been a "proxy" for about nine years.

Clarke was written to this song.

Be prepared to bring your Rad-X because this man is a walking elephant's foot. Radiation poisoning (or slender sickness) is in his wake after spending so much time around the Spawn of the Web.

He's king of the Compartmentalized Emotions.

You might catch him doing dangerous shit because he doesn't know pain, and his dissociative coping response can lead him to believe what he is doing isn't real.

(If he believes it's real, he'll hate himself, and he can't do that yet, now can he?)

Has the occasional fit of Cotard's Delusion.

Clarke is a complete stoner and pays the monthly visit to Jingles for the good stuff.

He doesn't flinch. Ever.

Does not own a cell phone and is really bad with technology. Nine years in the woods will isolate a man from how fast tech has progressed.

[intimacyequalsdeath]

You're My Girl (Patrick Hockstetter x Reader)

My IT obsession has been reignited. Specifically my obsession with the Bowers gang. This is an idea I have been sitting on for awhile and I hope you guys enjoy! (This is also the first fic trying out a new format in the top section here so lemme know what you think)

Trigger Warnings: None

Notes: Somewhat out of character Patrick Hockstetter.

"Patrick what the fuck?" I asked him as I opened my window.

I had gotten woken up by him throwing pebbles at my window at 2am on a school night and was absolutely not happy with him.

"What?" He shrugged "How else was I supposed to wake you up?" He asked nonchalantly, I groaned and rolled my eyes.

"Maybe you could have waited until tomorrow after school and not at 2 in the morning" I seethed through gritted teeth, Patrick laughed at this.

"Get dressed" he demanded

"Excuse me?"

"I said get dressed, the boys and I are going to the quarry and I told them you would come with" He said. I sighed, knowing full well I would rather go to the quarry with my boyfriend and his idiot friends then have to listen to my parents argue when my dad finally gets home from his graveyard shift with Butch Bowers.

I peered down at the lanky boy standing in my backyard and nodded

"Give me five" I said before turning back into the room to get dressed.

Once dressed I climbed down the lattice my dad had put up last summer for my moms plants, and hopped down in front of Patrick himself. The kids at school couldn't believe I had began dating Patrick Hockstetter, especially that I had chosen to date him voluntarily.

We have been together 2 years and still get strange looks, especially from the "Losers club", I don't mind though, it may sound cliché as all hell but Patrick is different with me then he is with everyone else, According to him it's because I'm "Real" though I am never 100 percent sure what he means when he says that.

Patrick wrapped his lanky arms around my waste and pulled me in for a kiss, and Patrick being Patrick he shoved his tongue into my mouth, at this point I had accepted that Patrick Hockstetter does not kiss "Normally".

"Yeah, because we came all this way to watch you guys suck face" Said a very peeved Henry Bowers from his place leaning on the Trans am.

Patrick pulled away and flipped him the bird.

"Don't be jealous Bowers" He snickered, throwing an arm around me and leading me to join the rest of the boys at Belch's car.

Henry scoffed and rolled his eyes as he got into his usual shotgun seat in the front. Vic and Belch snickered as they joined henry in the car, Patrick opened his side door and stepped out of the way so I could slide in between him and Vic.

"Malady" He said dramatically bowing and putting his hand out to help me into the car, I giggled and slid in next to Vic. Patrick got in and immediately gathered me in his arms to place me in my usual spot of his lap. Not that he doesn't trust Vic, he just likes to show what's his to any possible passing members of the Losers club as it is well known that quite a few might have a crush on me.

Belch follow the all too familiar roads of Derry until we reached the quarry. The boys one by one piled out of Amy, I went to get out but Patrick grabbed my arm halting me in place until he climbed out of the car.

"What are we even doing here at 2am?" I asked him, The loosers club would all be at home in bed by now along with most of the rest of the town so I didn't see much of a point. Patrick shrugged while closing the car door.

"It was the only time Henry could escape his old man, and all of us were awake anyway so we figured why not" I was almost shocked.

"Wow, the big bad Bowers' gang finally isn't fueled by the thought of bullying little kids" I teased him, He rolled his eyes as we followed the rest of the gang to the edge of the cliff.

We had all been at the quarry for maybe an hour when I heard another car pull up, I turned my focus away from Patrick and the gang and noticed what appeared to be a police car in the darkness.

"Hey hen?" I asked getting nervous.

"Yeah Y/n?" Henry answered, not noticing what I was seeing yet.

"Isn't that your old man?" I asked as I watched a figure get out of the car and make his way over to us, as the figure got closer it was obvious that it was Butch Bowers.

All the boys attention snapped to where I was looking as Butch approached us.

"Well, Well" He started when he was close enough "Look what we have here, It's 3 am on a school night, you kids should be at home" He said looking at Henry "Especially you" I heard him say under his breath when he got close enough to Henry.

Patrick had moved me slightly behind him silently hoping Butch wouldn't notice me, My dad worked with him on the force and surely he would go blabbing off about me hanging around his son and his friends. Patrick also knew what kind of man Butch was and didn't want me anywhere near him.

Butch continued to walk towards us to get closer when I heard his footsteps stop.

"Y/LN?" I heard him question, Shit. I stepped out from behind Patrick so he could see me but I still had the barrier.

"Yes sir?" I asked him, Through the darkness I could see a sick smile stretch across his face.

"Wait until your old man hears about you being out here with four boys at night" He snickered

"She's my girlfriend sir" Patrick spoke up "Not some whore" I nudged Patrick to get him to shut up, Butch Bowers was not one to be talked back too and I didn't want the already bad situation to worsen.

"What was that boy?" Butch asked, getting in Patrick's face, Patrick squared his shoulders and made direct eye contact with Butch.

"Patrick lets just go" I pleaded with him, really not wanting him to get into a fight with Butch Bowers of all people.

"You should listen to her, All you kids should take your asses home and don't let me catch any of you out here this late again" Butch commanded stepping back from Patrick and glancing to Henry.

"Except you boy, You're riding home with me" He said to him before turning back to his Cruiser, I sent Henry a sad glance as he followed behind his father.

Patrick, Belch, Vic and me all briskly walked back to the trans am and piled in. On the way back to our respective houses we were silent, Henry's empty seat being loud enough for all of us, even Patrick was quiet. When we pulled up to my house I got out and then motioned for Patrick to follow, he looked surprised at this.

"My dad won't be back until later this morning, Please pats" I begged, He smiled and nodded following me out of the car and into the house. After what happened with Butch I didn't want to be alone, Belch pulled off as we entered the dark house, He followed me upstairs and right into my bed after getting comfortable, he wrapped his arms around me and I laid my head on his chest.

"You don't have to worry about Butch Bowers baby" He whispered as my eyes were slowly shutting as I drifted off, "I won't let anyone touch you ever, You're my girl"

[5ummit]

It’s been 7 years since Civil War and I still mourn for the Bucky Barnes story we should’ve gotten.

I mourn for how quickly they showed him integrated back into society after CATWS. One moment he’s almost killing his best friend... and the next moment he’s living on his own and seems just fine. Sure, he’s a little quiet and awkward and sad, but he’s mostly pretty normal. Outside of the first half of Civil War, there’s very little evidence at all that would lead anyone to believe Bucky used to be the world’s most feared assassin, who was trained and molded into the perfect weapon through unimaginable pain and psychological manipulation. This man spent the better part of his life as a ruthless, mindless killing machine programmed to do nothing more than follow orders. You don’t just walk away from that without being fundamentally and irreversibly psychologically altered. Even the removal of the trigger words wouldn’t change that.

To clarify, I’m not talking about his lingering feelings of guilt and sadness. I think Seb has done a great job with getting that part across at least. I’m talking about his behavior. About way he interacts with other people and how he handles situations. He doesn’t act like a formerly-brainwashed ex-assassin who was treated as less than human for literal decades and who, by all accounts, should have the most severe form of PTSD known to man.

I just don’t buy the Bucky we see post-CATWS and particularly post-Civil-War. I don’t buy that Bucky would be joking around and flirting and basically acting like Just Some Guy – a grumpy guy but still Just Some Guy – and his recent haircut sure isn’t helping the situation either. That he wouldn’t always be a little bit on edge, a little bit animal (kinda like the way we see him at the beginning of Civil War but then never again). That being in the heat of battle wouldn’t sometimes make him either shut down or completely snap and go into a violent fugue state where he subconsciously reverts back to the brutally efficient methods of the Winter Soldier (we almost got this in TFATWS but they couldn’t commit).

Now maybe he received some absolutely incredible therapy in Wakanda. Maybe it worked wonders on him! The problem is I don’t buy it because I never saw it. I never got to see him struggle to learn how to be a person again. I never got to see him fight back against the thing Hydra turned him into.

It just sucks because I love everything about the concept of Bucky and the Winter Soldier, but the parts they’ve chosen not to show or address are, in my opinion, the most interesting parts of his character. But more than that, the lack of follow through and disconnect between what he was and who he seems to be now makes it really hard for me to see him as a fully-realized person in canon. It’s like my brain registers perfectly who he was in CATFA/CATWS and even kinda sorta now in TFATWS, but there’s this giant chasm in between them that mentally feels like fuzzy static.

How long did it take him to fully shake off the brainwashing and conditioning? When did he start thinking of himself as a human being with agency again? Did he ever have to fight the desire to return to Hydra, the only thing he’s known for 70 years, or was it an easy choice? How long did it take him to start recovering his memories? Has he recovered all of them? Does he now remember everything that happened before and during his time at Hydra? How long did it take him to stop flinching at every sound and expecting Hydra to track him down? How long did it take him to relearn how to interact with people like a normal person? How did he afford food and shelter between CATWS and CACW? How and why did he end up in Romania? Did he travel there immediately after CATWS or did he live somewhere else first? Did he get actual therapy in Wakanda or did they just work their science-magic to remove the trigger words and send him on his way? Is the the soldier still in there? Does he still have to consciously stop himself from using deadly force every time he’s in a fight? Is that why he deliberately avoids carrying any weapons now?

I have so many questions.

Fortunately we have fic and fanon to help fill the void but we shouldn’t have to. Bucky Barnes is one of the most interesting and unique characters to ever exist. There’s so much good stuff to dig into here and it’s been wasted.

They squandered the original opportunity to explore this part of his character when they turned Cap 3 into an Iron Man film, a decision I will forever be mad about (fuck you RDJ/Tony for stealing Bucky’s movie), but they finally had the perfect chance to make up for that with TFATWS! Bucky was getting his own show (6 hours of content!), and with it, plenty of time to really dig into his psyche and lingering trauma! I had hoped to see him relapsing a bit and falling into old patterns. Or maybe being triggered by something and having a panic attack. Or even just talking about his time in Hydra and how it felt to be used like that and his struggles to regain his humanity afterwards (instead they fucking gave Hawkeye the emotional “I was a weapon” speech that Bucky rightfully deserved). But other than that opening nightmare, a few brief teasing lines from Zemo about the solider still being in there (which was never followed through on), and the shittiest excuse for “therapy” I’ve ever seen, we really got nothing.

From everything they’ve shown us, and particularly from the ending of TFATWS, it’s clear Marvel believes Bucky has already “healed” and there’s little left to discuss or explore and it makes me incredibly sad.

[ozzgin]

Do you have any advice for those who want to post their stories and ideas on here but are just starting out

Not sure if I'm the best person to offer advice on these matters, as I feel my presence here has been mostly accidental. That being said, I am capable of introspection and I've been here long enough to notice patterns, so I can gladly share my own observations with you! Feel free to draw your own conclusions. Everyone else is invited to offer corrections or additions. :)

Guide under the cut because it's another long ramble divided in 3 parts.

What to post

The million-dollar question. Do you want to share original stories, or fanfiction? Various genres, or reader centered romances? You have the choice to try your luck and dive in with your own thing or scour the market to build a following first.

I've seen trending original stories from accounts who'd just started out, but don't use that as a reference for the quality of your own work. If you're not gaining traction, it doesn't automatically mean it's bad. There are hundreds of variables involved: the time, the context, the people. It takes one big blog to discover your story and share it, and you've taken your first step into recognition. The main issue is, there's no guarantee when or if it's going to happen.

Your other choice is to introduce yourself with fanfiction. Consider it a way of saying “let me show you my writing skills through something of your interest”. If you've been wanting to write fanfiction from the beginning, great! Now comes the next question: what is your goal? If you want more recognition, you'll want to consider the fandoms. Is there something you're into that's currently also trending on Tumblr? Writing for Hazbin Hotel, for example, will most likely get you more notes than writing for some 90s manga very few people know about. At the end of the day, you shouldn't feel pressured to write for what's "selling", but you can always find a compromise that works for you. Once you gain more followers, you can always sprinkle in more variety. Having more people who appreciate your work will give you a little boost when venturing into other areas.

I'll give you my personal case: I decided to share my Baki story right at the time a new season was out. It just so happened that many other people were interested in said character. "I only watched two episodes and immediately searched for fics", or "I saw an edit and now I'm here". So, there were people actively keeping tab on recent works for more content, and one of the relevant blogs in the fandom shared my content as well. That got the ball rolling. I've always been a multi-fandom blog, and thus with more visitors came more diverse requests. "Wait a minute, I came for X, but I see you like Y, too!"

TL;DR: If you're interested in original work or lesser known fandoms but want recognition, try to expand into trending and popular fandoms to gain visibility.

How to post

Is there a specific template you must adhere to? Absolutely not. However, I've noticed many common elements from people sharing their stories. There are authors who will dive right into the story, no title, no descriptions, but they already have followers who know what to expect. If you're just starting out, you might want to offer a helping hand to people who don't know you yet. Have a concise, clear title. Make it obvious from the beginning what your story is about. You can include trigger warnings or content previews. Maybe a little synopsis or two-three sentences to summarize everything. I've seen some blogs mention that their shorter stories get more interaction (1-2k words), so this might be something to consider. If you would prefer going for longer works, perhaps it's wise to give everyone a heads-up and include the word count at the beginning. If you want to encourage people to check out your other works, you can include a link to your masterlist at the top of the post.

Regardless of appearances, once your content is written, it needs to be tagged. Which brings us to the next topic:

This truly isn't meant to call anyone out, just something I noticed. Many people don't know how to use the hashtag feature.

Let me give you a fabricated example: you just published your best fanfiction so far. The magnum opus of your work. Time passes, and you barely get any notes. You tagged the post with #fanfic (because it's fanfiction, right?), #writers of tumblr (to notify other writers of your presence), and #series name. It's not bad by any means, but these are extremely generic hashtags. If your only anchor for the post is, say, #Harry Potter, it will be immediately drowned by the massive influx of various content under this tag: memes, fanart, discussions, screenshots. Everything meets here. If your story is a reader insert, your target is not only the overall fandom, but specifically the people looking for this type of story. Which characters are featured? Is it more of a fluffy romance, or downright smut? Is your original character a monster? If so, what kind? You have to help people find your content. If you're not sure what tags to include, use other blogs as reference. Find stories similar to yours and check the top posts. What other tags did the author use? Is there a common pattern among these popular stories?

TD;DR: Make your posts clear and obvious within the first few lines. Overly general or overly specific tags are not bad, but they shouldn't be your only identifying features. Make it very easy for people to navigate your blog (masterlists, consistent hashtag system, etc)

When to post

At one point I asked myself, out of curiosity, why some of my own posts are more popular than others despite the same amount of effort. Is there a difference depending on when you release your content? The answer is yes! There's an article discussing the best times to post on social media in order to maximize engagement. Of course, there's many variables involved, and these time intervals are not a guarantee. When are your followers most active? When do you notice a peak in notifications? Have a look at this neat desktop feature. It gives you all the answers you need. If your engagement is the highest at a given hour, it might be worth a shot to post your content then. You can also schedule your posts to match the patterns.

Let's say you posted something, and you suspect it hasn't reached all of your followers. Maybe it was a slow day, and it got less engagement than usual. I've seen people who reblog their own content the next day or even regularly, so you can opt for that if you're worried you missed out.

Additionally, Tumblr seems to reward activity. You may post as often or as little as you'd like, as long as you maintain a certain regularity. If you search for top posts/blogs of all time, you'll notice it's not actually an all-time chart, but only the content with recent engagement. A post with a million notes that hasn't been touched in 5 years won't show up. Same for blogs. The recommendations you see are of accounts who frequently post under the given hashtag. This is something to keep in mind as well.

Lastly, if you're willing/are extroverted enough, you can always try to network and build a group of mutuals. Reblog, leave comments, reach out to people within the fandom or who do the same thing. When a post is fresh, it may be temporarily bumped to the top of the search if it receives a burst of engagement. So, it definitely helps to have a bunch of friends who give you a little boost.

Yeah. This is what I have. It's not a matter-of-fact textbook, just what I personally witnessed or my own inferences. The most important detail is to give yourself time, and of course to have fun! I wish you the best of luck, and don’t forget that your ideas are worthy regardless of the outcome.

[aceofwhump]

Hi! Do you have any favourite recovery fics??? Like Buck recovering from any one of his mishaps (or Anthony Bridgerton, or Matt Casey, or Mike Warren, etc) where they cover the process (the part that shows always skip where in one ep things are absolutely fucked and in the next they’re absolutely fine I’m looking at you and your rebar 9-1-1)

Thanks!!!

I have a TON of good recovery fics. Recovery fics are some of my favorite things to read! Especially really long ones where the character is recovering from a trauma. If you don't mind other fandoms I've got a ton of recovery fics to rec. Not a lot for Anthony Bridgerton or Mike Warren in terms of recovery fics for canon whump sadly. Actually there's not a lot of recovery fics for them period. But I hope some of these other ones will sate you!

The Witcher:

Hold On by CaptainRex_ika

It has been months since that day on the mountain, a day that left Jaskier alone. Now, he finds himself a captive of Nilfgaard, who just want Geralt and that child surprise of his, and they believe Jaskier is the way to get the White Wolf's attention. After all, he is known as the Witcher's Bard. Jaskier believes that this time Geralt won't come for him...not after that day.

warming of a heart by Alexlively88

tws: A/B/O, past rape/non con, abortion/discussion of abortion, rape recovery

Killing a rusalka is just a normal day in Geralt's life. It's just his job. What isn't his job is rescuing abused omegas. He does it anyway. Or, Jaskier is done with life. To his disappointment, life isn't done with him just yet.

If You Ask Me for My Fire (Just Watch Me Burn) by DigitalSaiyan

tws: past rape/non con, rape/noncon, rape recovery,

Jaskier has zero intention of sharing the degrading experience of getting tortured. Ever. He’ll bury the memories and someday they’ll be as scabbed over as Caingorn was. Which had been completely, absolutely, fine. And the only reason that wound is bleeding a little now is because Geralt came out of nowhere—after the most humiliating experience of his entire life—and reopened it. But that’s fine because he’ll leave and return to the terror of his smuggling work and forget about Geralt all over again. There's nothing hard drink and the constant danger of execution won’t get his mind off. There’s something therapeutic about fearing for one’s life that makes anything not of immediate concern go away. So yes, things were just fine before Geralt showed up. Two years post-Caingorn, Geralt rescues Jaskier from jail and sends him with Ciri to Kaer Morhen. However, Geralt starts to suspect Jaskier is hiding serious trauma.

Panic Attacks by AllTheQueensHorses

Jaskier, captured by Nilfgaard and tortured for weeks, has panic attacks because no one knows where he is and no one is coming to rescue him. Basically a giant whump fic with plenty of angst and hurt but no comfort until later. Trigger warnings throughout the whole story for panic attacks.

Broken by GonEwiththeWolveS

In which Geralt finds out Jaskier was tortured. Or, the self-indulgent hurt/comfort fic.

What am I, if not a bard? by Mi_chan

Geralt knows something happened to Jaskier. He doesn't know the details, but he knows he needs to do something to help the bard. Jaskier is stubborn and refuses to talk to him. Geralt doesn't give up that easily, though. ~ Since the series totally downplayed Jaskier's trauma, here's the fix. The bard is hurting, he's scared and doesn't know what to do with himself, but Geralt is there, acknowledging his pain. ~

an incessant burning by 1derspark

“Jaskier,” Geralt prompted after a while. “Can you look at me?” He shook his head and hoped that his mumbled "no" would be heard. Geralt sighed but didn’t try to move him. His hand was running a comforting trail up and down Jaskier’s back. Eventually, he spoke again. “Yen, she told me some things, but I didn’t realize…” He trailed off, and Jaskier could hear him swallow. A click of guilt in the throat. He reached over to Jaskier’s arm. When he didn’t startle or protest Geralt took his arm. He rubbed a gentle finger over the wax burn. It was a barely-there thing, nothing to get all riled up about. But even having his arm exposed made Jaskier want to crawl into a hole. (Or Jaskier’s newfound aversion to fire, and the comfort he deserves.)

Hand in Trembling Hand by PenAndInkPrincess

“I’m sorry,” Jaskier whispers at last. Geralt shifts so he can look at him. “I’m sorry I’m…like this, now.” “You don’t have to be sorry.” (Jaskier has a hard path to walk while he's healing. Geralt and Yennefer help him with this part.)

Ted Lasso:

an excess of warmth or coldness by bartonbones 

When Jamie is seriously injured during a match, Roy and Ted are reminded how much they care about him--as a son, or as a younger brother, or as an exposed nerve. Jamie is reminded what it's like to have people care when his face gets knocked in.

Lemons and Lavender by LivingProof

He peels his eyes open. Shit, they really must be giving him the good stuff, cause he could swear he knows that dark figure lurking in the doorway, where his old man came in a few minutes ago. He blinks a few times, waiting for it to vanish. It doesn’t. “Roy?” he croaks. He blinks again, and Roy…or whoever…is standing beside him, 'cept Jamie still can’t tell, cause he can only see his back, cause whoever it is isn’t looking at Jamie, he’s looking across the room. Towards that window. At Jamie’s dad. “The fuck do you fucking think you’re fucking doing here?” Yeah. That’s Roy.

Barn Raising by altschmerzes 

After the locker room disaster in Manchester, Roy drives Jamie home. The chaos they find when they arrive at the house swiftly proves it is not a safe place to spend the night, forcing a change of plans and a reroute to Roy’s own home. The following day Jamie experiences, in this order: The most bewildering breakfast of his life, a penalty kick clinic with a seven-year-old, and an overwhelming display from his teammates that brings him face to face with the fact that not only has he been accepted back in Richmond it’s also possible he might be, in a way he can’t remotely process or understand, loved here.

The Same Story by altschmerzes

It would've been traumatic enough for Jamie's father to ruin Richmond's most recent victory in front of the whole team, but when the confrontation turns violent in front of a gaggle of reporters, the ensuing social media firestorm is even worse. Over the next two and a half weeks, Jamie will have to navigate the charges against his father, walk a gauntlet of publicity that he never asked for, and prepare to give the interview of a lifetime.

Sandman

Bones Don't Rust by not_whelmed_yet

The same capture & rescue fic everyone has written, but playing off two ideas: - I wanted to see Dream’s physical recovery take long enough that he could begin his mental/emotional recovery before heading back to the Dreaming - There’s a lot of ways to hurt an anthropomorphic entity without taking them out of their snowglobe

I will find you in your dreams by Salmaka

A story where Dream, confused and weak from his time in isolation doesn't make it back to the Dreaming but ends up in Hob's house instead.

To Learn to Breathe Again by ironlin

Upon returning back to the Dreaming, Dream finds himself struggling. Thankfully, Lucienne is there to help.

9-1-1

To Be Loved by Scribbles97

Buck knew he was spiralling, that the dread that had been shadowing him since leaving the hospital should have left when the doctor had given him the all clear. Yet, he can't help but feel like he's still missing something. Eddie hadn't been able to give him the answers, but maybe Bobby could. Calm, dependable, reassuring, Bobby always had the answers and helped him through stuff.

Goosebumps by Princessfbi 

Everyone kept telling Buck he was supposed to rest, but he didn’t know how he was supposed to do that when the cold was an incessant prickling under his skin. Five Times Buck Struggled to Stay Warm After Being Struck By Lightning and Put Into A Coma and One Time He Didn't.

Don't (Wanna) Know Who I Am by altschmerzes

Buck takes a nasty fall out on a job, and when he wakes up, he can't remember anything. Not what happened, not who the people in his hospital room are, not even his own name. The next two weeks he spends being passed from house to house every few days, Chimney, Hen, and Bobby taking turns keeping an eye on him while he tries to remember his life. The way back is slow and hard, and begs the question - who actually is Evan Buckley, and is he someone worth remembering? (Luckily, the rest of the 118 is there with an answer, if not to the first question, then at least to the second.)

Once Upon A Time

puppet strings by bewilderedmoth

Having technically died on more than one occasion now, having finally put all that trauma behind him and settled down in Storybrooke, August had hoped his troubles were long gone. When Gold returns to town in his quest to find the Author, hopes of a trouble free life in the sleepy town crumble away to dust. (A whumpy re-write of August's torture in S4, Ep 16. Set within the 'mess is mine' universe, but not actually canon to that AU)

they are mine by Lil_Redhead

Killian is still trying to deal with his emotional pain after returning from the underworld and all he needs is a motherly touch. Takes place after 5B season finale.

Unforgotten by NothingImpossibleOnlyImprobable

Killian went through so much in his centuries of life, especially in the Underworld. Nightmares were to be expected. This is canon-compliant with my Undefeated story, and it will eventually be a part of a larger collection of works dealing with the aftermath of everything he's survived, and some he didn't.

You can take the boys out of Neverland by WinkyCutto

The Lost Ones don't like having to live by the rules and Henry and his family are about to find out that bringing them back to Storybrooke may not have been the best idea... Hook whump galore, you have been warned.

Superman & Lois

Path to Recovery by Beth4LC

It’s been a month since Clark lost his powers and there are still no clear answers to when he’ll get them back. In the meantime, he focuses on connecting with the members of his family.

Powerless by Beth4LC

Clark is home and recovering after Ally’s near-fatal attack, and he starts to adjust to his new reality.

Lucifer

Deal by hearmerory

Chloe didn't spend five years being best friends with the Devil just to let him go back to Hell. But recovery? Relationships? These are not things Lucifer has ever found easy. In the weeks after Lucifer's return from Hell, he and the humans, angels and demons who surround him find out how long, hard and traumatic those roads can be.

Crystals by OkamiShadou98

After seeing Lucifer's scars, Chloe searches for the truth about her partner and his shadowed past. In doing so, she comes face to face with the psychological demons he shields himself from. Recovery is a long, twisted road for the Devil and his Detective. Eventual Deckerstar.

The Man From Uncle:

Agents, Missions, and Hospitals by Tallihensia

Getting hurt on a mission is enough to make a partner’s blood run cold. The aftermath and recovery, though, is almost as bad. Caring and trust makes it better.

The Martian:

Waiting in the Sky by midnightradio

Mark is back on the Hermes but getting rescued isn't quite as easy as it seemed. Fighting for your life is easy, but living with what you had to do to survive is harder.

I Win, Mars by chuckisgod

You didn't just have to save him. You have to put him back together, too. Ares 3 was in time to save Mark's life, but not quite his mind. The Hermes has hundreds of days of space travel before they all get back to Earth. It's a ship running without maintenance, and the primary engineer has the world's most severe case of PTSD. What happens? Canon-compliant.

Just Keep Going by chuckisgod

"And this is how this story ends. The story of Mark Watney is the story of a man who was stranded on Mars, and instead of giving up he did everything he could to make it back to Earth, because that's the point." What would being abandoned on an entire planet do to someone? A window into Mark's emotional state on Mars. A sincere attempt to stay true to the real-life health effects of solitary isolation.

Life on Earth by watneykingofmars

A series of drabbles and one-shots about Mark Watney readjusting to life on earth.

Avatar the Last Airbender:

Hearth and Home by lets_support_frogs

After his Agni Kai, Zuko flees the Fire Nation without Iroh or his crew. He finds himself stranded, alone, and injured in the Earth Kingdom when taken in and raised as a healer and farmer by an Earth Kingdom couple. He finds new ways to use his bending and to influence in the changing of the war with new understanding of himself, his bending, and the war. As someone with new perspectives and influence he is able to provide a greater understanding of being a teacher, warrior, and friend when meeting the gaang.   or Where Zuko gets to recover before using anger to protect himself when he is adopted by a nice Earth Kingdom family

[v3nusxsky]

Firstly I ADORE all of your work, I love reading it and it makes my day!!!

If its not to much trouble, could you write a Natasha x reader, where Natasha gets sick (like a bad case of the flu) and reader has to take care of her?

Lots of fluff and comfort 💕

If not don't worry

Either way, have an amazing day!!!

Poor Girl

*Authors note~ my first sick fic for Nat and I'm loving the requests for her and wandanat *

Trigger Warnings~ sick nat flu symptoms headache body aches throwing up fever etc

Prompt~ see ask^^^^

It wasn't uncommon for your girlfriend to try and be strong all the time, after all she is the black widow. But here in your shared room at the compound was the one room where she could let her guard down. Natasha was known for her strict routines especially when it came to her training. It was the same routine every morning where her alarm went off where she we kiss your head and slip out of the bed to adorn her training outfit and head out to train while you caught some more sleep. After training she'd shower and then come to wake you up with kisses. But not today.

No today you were the one to wake up to Nats alarm, but instead of a kiss to your head and the rustling of blankets you were greeted with a groan of pain and sniffles. She was sick. That much was obvious but you expected to see your stubborn lover attempting to continue her daily activities but that's before you knew how bad it is.

You rolled other to gather the spy in your arms only to flinch back from how sweat soaked and warm her skin was. "Oh baby" you whimpered brushing her damp hair from her head, "my poor girl is sick huh?" Another groan and her body attempting to wriggle into yours more was the response you got, "so cold babe." You allowed your eyes to scan your widow and made a mental note of all the symptoms she could have. "Friday? What's Romanoffs temperature?"

"Miss Romanoff has a temperature of 102.5, she needs to lower it" the AI informed you and you immediately knew what was wrong. She had the flu! Of course she did, the last mission had involved extensive time out in the rain. Wanda had already been sick with the flu due to the mission so of course Nat would get it too. Scooting away from the red head you made your way to the en suit to get cool wash clothes and any medicine that you could think of her needing before heading back to the bed.

One wash cloth on her forehead and another at the base of her neck you measured up the correct amounts of medication and grabbed Nats bottle of water that she alway made sure to have by the bed. In the time that took Nat had fallen back into a fever induced sleep meaning you'd need to wake your girlfriend up. "Natty, baby can you wake up for me? Just sit up to take medicine and I promise you can go straight back to sleep" you mumbled gently rousing her awake. "Babe no medicine I'm fine" she murmured not even opening her eyes.

Unwell? Yes, stubborn? Oh absolutely but there was one cure for that was only something you processed the ability to do. "Tasha, I've got my top off" you informed her and she immediately opened her eyes and tried to sit up only to whimper in disappointment at being tricked. "Oh my poor girl" you feigned your apologetic look while quickly offering the medication to your pouting lover. Only when she had taken the medication did you remove your top, exposing your soft skin and breasts to her.

That was how you found yourself holding your lover as she curled up with her head on your chest, a hand resting on top of your breast as your fingers threaded themselves through her hair. It was rare that your lover got this sick, but you always adored how she could trust you enough to let her guard down. Only you could soothe her in times like this and that's what made you feel worthy and important. Not even Wanda and her magic could soothe Natasha like you. "Sleep baby my poor girl deserves all the rest."

Word count~ 740

[berry-messy-scribbles]

Lend me a helping hand

Pairing: Jesse Pinkman x GN!Reader

Summary: You and Jesse Pinkman attend the same class back in high school days. One day both of you become study buddies after Walt decides to pair you up to help him with chemistry. Little does he know that you two won’t pay much attention to textbooks, as a mutual crush begins to unfold.

Words: 3,131

Tags: SFW; gender-neutral reader; general fluff that turns a little angsty in the process but don’t worry it ends on a light note; reader and Jesse are younger due to this being set in his high school times.

Warnings/triggers: curse words; mentions of smoking cigarettes and drug use.

A/N: Reader’s implied favourite subject is chemistry so the plot can include Jesse’s trouble with White’s class and having him assign you as Jesse’s tutor.

“ This is my first piece ever writing Jesse so I apologise in advance if it seems out of character but we can all agree that our boy deserves more loving.” - Mod Berry

Ever since childhood, your eyes were set on an academic pursuit and it certainly didn’t change in your high school years. But the effort wasn’t just for any other subject than your beloved chemistry, which took up so much of your free time. Staying up all night to pass Mr White’s exams with flying colours wasn’t something you were unfamiliar with. All those sticky notes and underlines made with fancy markers in vivid colours present in your textbook were a plain sign, that you struck to be one of the smartest if not the smartest in class. One of your classmates specifically caught your eye – no other than the troublemaker by the name of Jesse Pinkman.

After all, you've been taking the same class for over a year now so you observed all sorts of shenanigans unravel. He’s mostly known as that one kid that always has some snarky comments ready and is an absolute menace to the teacher. At first, it would be making paper planes to throw at Mr White. Gradually it evolved to him drawing caricatures of the old bald man on the whiteboard with captions such as “Sit on an Erlenmeyer flask dick”. The doodle obviously showed in detail a figure of him sitting on the described object. It led to many visits to the principal’s office. Even after all this time you barely have spoken to each other, maybe besides the occasional “Can I borrow a pen” moments.

It seems as no surprise that when this certain student known for not caring about anything really, had you assigned as his study buddy. That is why one day after class Mr White decided to pair you up as study partners.

“Y/N you surely know of Pinkman. The one that barely makes any effort? I told myself if I can’t get through to him with my lectures that maybe someone his age would. I am sure that he could use a positive influence like you.” 

He then murmurs to himself while looking outside the classroom “Maybe then he’ll make something out of himself.”

You never understood why he was so hard on Jesse, sure he wasn’t an easy student but immediately shutting him down as a hopeless case seemed too harsh for you. Either way, you decided to help him.

“Don’t worry sir. I am sure Jesse and I will get along just fine.” 

But fine was the last word you would use to describe this situation, in fact, it was one of those times when you weren’t sure how to react. On one hand, you two barely spoken to each other. On the other hand, you were eager to chat about your favourite subject. But what other thing were you supposed to talk about really? Your only similarities ended in attending the same class and that fact certainly didn’t make it any easier. However the next day you gathered as much confidence as you could when you approached him after class.

‘‘Hi, Jesse. I don’t mean to bother you but -” 

You are then interrupted midsentence by Jesse.

“Uh Hi Y/N right? Look I know what this buzzkill Mr White told you but you don’t need to do all that teaching me crap. ”

“Okay wait wait, don’t be silly now. It’s not a problem for me at all. In fact, I’m glad I can finally ramble to somebody about chemistry, haha and maybe just maybe I’ll be able to change your mind about it” you respond with a smile.

That smile certainly caught Jesse off guard by how pretty it looked on your face. He felt strange? Were you doing this out of pity for him or were you seriously this kind? He wasn’t sure but decided to continue the conversation playfully.

“Pff I’d like to see you try. Anyways Mx teacher when and where are we going to have our first study session?”

“Already with formal titles, I see. Hmm since it’s a nice day outside so would you like to have our first study session in the library? I promise I won’t make it as boring as it sounds.”

“Geez, I don’t know. Do you seriously see me as the kind of guy who regularly goes to libraries? You flatter me Y/N but I hate to break it to you the librarian is probably going to have a heart attack when she sees me.”

“Come on now I don’t think there is a “kind of person” - it is for everyone. Whether you want to admit it or not the library lady will see you just as another plain guy. Or are you scared of being called a nerd huh? you teased him.

“Whatever. So are we going or what?”

That’s how your weekly chemistry study sessions started out. In the beginning, it would be at Albuquerque’s public library, where you two spent time together. It is worth mentioning that the first time you were there the old librarian lady Judith made an embarrassing remark at the time:

“Y/N dearie it is so nice to see you again but who could that young man be? Oh are you two perhaps...”

“Study buddies. We’re study buddies! Yup, nothing more than that haha.” you quickly responded as you didn’t want to make Jesse feel uncomfortable. Hoping that he didn’t catch your face flush bright red for a moment there, you headed to the quiet area with a spare desk and quickly took out your books. 

Those study sessions over time evolved into more casual hangouts such as going to a park, café and so on. Sometimes they would also include obligatory smoke breaks or buying sweet treats for later. There was this one time when you both went out to grab some doughnuts beforehand and Jesse had to get himself the popular pink glazed doughnuts, which resulted in one of your puns:

“Ah, so your last name obliges you to buy them? Huh, Pinkman? Get it?”

“All that time spent buried in the books and it is the only pun you could come up with? Shame on you Y/N shame. To think an egghead like you would get more creative.”

“Oh shut up we’ll see how creative you’re gonna be when we will be solving tasks from the textbooks and workbooks I have.”

Something you began to look forward to during your week was seeing Jesse. He seemed as if he could listen to you for hours and hours. That is why you began to feel comfortable around him - like you could finally be yourself around somebody else. It can be said that he was your best hypeman by saying things such as “Yeah Science bitch!” or “Right on!” even when you explained the most mundane of things. There was this one time when you let yourself go and started ranting about your hobbies such as writing and reading books ( or whatever you like to do in your free time, he’ll be so supportive anyways ) so when you finally realised you were getting distracted you quickly added the following:

“Oh sorry I’m just used to people not caring about my special interests or  straight up finding it annoying.”

“Are you kidding? Fuck them. I’d like to get to know you more, other than the fact that you are a huge nerd. Also, I think you’d make a great teacher or something because hey you’ve managed to make me pay attention."

That response definitely warmed up your heart.

On the surface, both of you seemed like total solar opposites but maybe that’s why you two connected so well. As you often put it in your mind “positively charged objects attract negatively charged objects”. Jesse would probably groan at the thought that you had to compare your friendship to some nerdy topic. During that time, you noticed that there was so much more to Jesse than people thought. For instance, his notebook had pages that were entirely covered in drawings of figures done in a comic book art style, some of which were superheroes while the others were villains. Initially, Jesse was nervous that you found them but then all that doubt disappeared when he was smothered in positive feedback from you. You eagerly asked about their names, superpowers and origin stories and then proceeded to listen to his explanations with joy in your eyes. That alone made Jesse feel so weak around you - you were actually interested in spending time with him and in what he wanted to say ( and by god we all know how much he needs that in his life ).

Up to this point, you didn’t realise that you started to develop feelings towards Jesse, but when he didn’t show up at your usual meeting spot you immediately started to worry. It’s not as if Jesse wouldn’t let you know if something bad happened, because he had felt sick before. The significant difference is that he always called or texted when he couldn’t make it. This time however it was total silence. At first, you tried calling him, then you moved on to texting multiple messages saying “Are you alright? Did something happen?” followed by “I hope everything is okay Jesse text me whenever you can”. You weren’t sure if you were overreacting a bit, but you didn’t care – the most important thing was his well-being. Time passed and it has been a week since your last message and there was no sign of him at school either. Now you were certain that something felt off… Maybe that’s why you decided to take matters into your own hands when you visited the Pinkmans’ residence. You were more than thankful, that you remembered where it was located since Jesse never really invited you over. The only time when you two were near his house he’d quickly brush it off as if he didn’t want to attract your attention to it.  When you arrived and knocked on the door a short blonde woman opened. She was clearly confused by your presence.

“Can I help you with something? I don’t believe we have met before?” 

"Oh hi, you must be Jesse’s mother. My name is Y/N nice to meet you, I am Jesse’s friend.”

It was strange to call him that since you weren’t sure if Jesse considered you his friend, but you certainly considered him to be yours. A small shocked expression appeared on her face, however before she could say anything you continued:

You didn’t quite understand her passive-aggressive response. At the same time, she was glad that you thought about her son but also said something about being an “unusual” friend of his. What did she mean by that? Was she trying to insult you or her own son? You thought that to yourself but decided to shrug it off as there were more important things right now.

“Listen Mrs Pinkman I am so sorry to bother you but Jesse hasn’t been responding to my messages for the past week and he also wasn’t at school so I wanted to make sure that he’s okay.”

“Hmm I have to say you don’t seem like Jesse’s usual kind of “friend”, but it’s nice that you worried about him. Pleasure to meet you too.”

“Listen Jesse has been lately um I am not sure how to put it...” 

The older woman seemed at loss for words. To your surprise at that moment a taller older man came up behind Mrs Pinkman, which you suspected probably was Jesse’s father.

“Is there a problem here dear?” and then Mrs Pinkman had to assure him there was none but also had to explain why you were here in the first place. 

“Oh, you are here for Jesse huh? Well then colour me surprised, to say the least. About our son - you’ll understand what my wife wanted to tell you in a moment. How about I show you his room, then you can go ask him yourself.”

The tension in that conversation caught you off-guard. For some reason, both of them seemed angry inside but they covered it in their nice suburban behaviour.  Before you could even properly react to that exchange of words they both walked into their house, gesturing you to follow them. 

They stopped at the door, which you could only assume belonged to Jesse’s room. His father then proceeded to knock on the door while saying “Jesse you have a visitor.” and then both left you alone in awkward silence while standing outside his room.

A couple of minutes passed and then you heard a loud thud and steps of someone approaching the door. Then the door swung right open followed by:

“Uh. I didn’t want you to see me like this Y/N.” Jesse sighed.

The room looked as if a tornado came through - all his belongings scattered on the bedroom floor. From his usual baggy clothes, beanies and a used bong to boxes of frozen pizza with few slices left untouched. The air in the room was heavy and the atmosphere was even heavier when you noticed Jesse nervously looking at you in the doorframe.

You have never seen Jesse in that state before. His usual entrancing blue eyes were all red. Not only that but it appeared that even weighty eyebags began to show on his face. Jesse anxiously held his arm around you. He was so afraid that sooner or later you would witness him like this. He expected the worst to come from your mouth and was preparing himself for the harsh reality of that situation to unfold, but then he heard a quiet sob coming from you.

“I was so worried that something bad happened to you. I am so glad that you are okay you asshole!” you immediately hugged Jesse.

“But um Jesse what happened? Is there something that worried you so much, which lead to this state?” you gestured at the room and him.

Jesse was knocked-out at that moment. Out of all the reactions he suspected he would get from you a warm embrace wasn’t on that list.

“Next time check your goddamn phone you hear me? A simple “I am alive” would be great you know?” you quickly added as you let go of that hug.

“I don’t want to come off as nosy or anything but just so you know you can always talk to me. I’ll make sure to be of help to you.” you added.

Jesse was absolutely stunned at that moment. Nobody ever cared about him that much and you didn’t even judge him? You didn’t think of him less after witnessing him at his worst? After all of that, you still wanted to know what was wrong? What exactly was happening? He finally responded:

“Heh I don’t know what to say Y/N. Look for the past few days I haven’t been feeling very well. You probably met my parents - we don’t exactly get along.” before he could finish that sentence he made sure to close the door so they wouldn’t hear what he says.

“So about a week ago they found my secret stash and went fucking crazy. It wasn’t only about that oh no no no. Mrs and Mr Perfect had to bring up my shitty grades and how I will never amount to anything. Parents of the year huh? After that, the only thing I knew would make me feel good is smoke some weed and spend time alone. My buddies suggested meeting up but I wasn't feeling like it. I just felt like a burden to everyone I have ever met."

"God and the fact that this dickhead White told my parents I was a lost cause was just a cherry on top of that shitshow." he added with frustration building inside him.

Seeing Jesse in that vulnerable position made you even more motivated to comfort him. You carefully started:

"First of all you are certainly not a burden, how could you even think that for a moment? Look even if your parents are acting like assholes towards you they don't define your worth. "

"I am so sorry that your parents and White told you those awful words but if you asked me I think you are pretty great. Sure you aren't the best at certain things but you are getting better each and every single day. If it makes any real difference to you I'm rooting for you, Jesse."

"And hey just a friendly suggestion when you do succeed you can rub it in their face you know? That certainly is something to look forward to right?"

That made Jesse chuckle a bit.

"Thanks, Y/N. I am very glad that you came here."

"No problem at all. Say do you need any help with cleaning your room? And before you say you don't want to make me do your chores I don't mind and also I insist."

Even if he said no you would help him so after that you and Jesse got up to start cleaning his room and of course had some more heart-to-heart conversations while doing so. It brought you two closer than ever and you both realized that your feelings were more than friendship.

Since that day some time passed and your first study sessions came faster than expected. Jesse was so happy that he could finally spend more time with you and so were you. You took your usual path to the library and sat in an empty desk. This time you decided to start with organic chemistry, in particular, a topic revolving around saccharides. Before you could explain anything Jesse asked you:

"So today we are doing what? Saccharides? What a mouthful. Why do eggheads always come up with the most idiotic names instead of calling it oh I don't know... something anyone can say outloud?"

"Pff you can always just call them sugars you know. It is still a correct nomenclature so feel free to use that one."

"Yeah but I would rather call you sugar." he responded without a second thought.

"Wait what did you say?" you felt blood rush to your face.

Silence fell between you two. Expression or sheer shock on both of your faces. Jesse couldn't believe he said that out loud. The silence was then broken by him coughing and finally adding:

"Y/N I didn't mean to make any of this awkward I just... I just think that you are sweet."

"Well if that makes any difference I think you are cute too Pinkman." you responded and softly placed a kiss on his lips.

Truth be told that day you didn't do any of the material you had planned in advance. The only chemistry that was on your mind was between you and Jesse.

[anon-asking-for-advice]

Hi. We. Uhm. Need help. Specifically with a persecutor. We’re. Not the best at handling shit on our own. We make enough rash decisions without our friends telling us to force this persecutor into dormancy. So I thought we’d turn to Tumblr for. Advice and input. Before we do anything rash.

This sounds like a reddit post already. Eugh. Bear with us here, I beg of you.

Persecutor [P]

Ex-Host [Ex]

Therapist Alter [TA]

Motherly Alter [MA]

Caregiver [CG]

Protector [PRO]

[P] has been known for having violent thoughts, puppy guarding [Ex], and even going so far as to harm [TA] after he tried to separate [P] and [Ex].

[P]’s got multiple sources, one being [MA]’s source son and another being the old friend of a [CG].

We admittedly put [P] into dormancy once before, but he recently was triggered out. He was found in front by [MA] and was immediately coddled and protected. [P] apparently sobbed to her that he didn’t want to go back into dormancy. The two were eventually found by [CG].

[MA] was unintentionally/somehow switched out, leaving [CG] and [P] alone together. [P] continued to cry that he didn’t want to be taken away, referring to [CG] by his nickname that only close friends ever called him. [CG], understandably stressed, regressed to a younger state; a state in which he and [P] used to be friends at. [P] then also regressed, begging [CG] to not let anyone force him into dormancy, swearing he wouldn’t hurt anyone again, begging that the rest of us do anything except force him into dormancy.

[PRO] eventually found her way to front and forcefully separated [P] and [CG], threatening to “knock [CG] out and drag him out of front”. This didn’t bode well, as the minute she did, [P] went absolutely ballistic on her. [P] then immediately checked on [CG] before leaving front and getting away before anyone could do anything to him.

Our friends insist [MA] and [CG] were being manipulated and used through their attachments to [P]’s sources. To me, [P] sounded genuinely afraid, though.

I just. Fuck. I can’t fucking tell. I’m exhausted.

I don’t know what to do.

[saffronapplemanga]

Recent Read Manga Recommendation Round Up - Part 2

More manga I’ve been enjoying recently! Part 1 recommendation list here. Twitter link to this post here.

~Links to my other manga posts~ My personal favs/ones I super enjoyed will have a ✨ on them :)

Got more new titles and shorter reads this time around!

Some of these don't have official (or unofficial) EN translations since I read a lot of JP-only manga and I’d like to make people aware of those titles too! My hope is that bringing awareness to them will help get them licensed :) I guess if any sound interesting, ask publishers to license them! I’ll link any dedicated posts I have for each title.

PLEASE LOOK UP ANY TRIGGER WARNINGS!

HISTORICAL, DRAMA

✨Tenmaku no Jadoogar: A Witch’s Life in Mongol by Tomato Soup

(3 volumes, ongoing)

JP only. The first 5 chapters are up for free in JP here. English summary in this post

A learned Irani slave girl is taken captive by the Mongols in the 13th century and has to use her knowledge to survive. Well-researched historical fiction about Fatima, who was a real person in history. I wrote a long detailed post about it, so check it out!

DRAMA, ART

✨Untitled Blue by Natsume Yukiko

(3 volumes, ongoing)

JP only - English summary in this post

I fell for Untitled Blue SO HARD, and I need the next volume immediately. A suicidal boy who just wants to make art uses the name of a burnt-out prodigy girl to sell his works in anonymity. The found family vibes and feels are strong in this one... And there are some absolutely SICK pages in this.

DRAMA, PSYCHOLOGICAL, ROMANCE

Haru’s Curse by Konishi Asuka

(2 volumes, complete)

Available in English

A woman falls for her dead sister's man and we follow a story about guilt and grief. This is a well-written short manga that tackles touchy topics in a thoughtful manner.

PSYCHOLOGICAL, DRAMA, SCI-FI

Takopi’s Original Sin by Taizan5

(2 volumes, complete)

English available to read on mangaplus

A short manga that was quite popular in Japan by the same author of the currently publishing Jump series The Ichinose Family's Deadly Sins, this title is a good intro into Taizan 5's work. The art is expressive, the page turn is used well, and it takes a look at human psychology through three children with complicated relationships and living situations.

LGBTQ, SLICE OF LIFE

Kawa yori mo Nagaku Yuruyaka ni by Yoshida Akimi

(2 volumes, complete)

JP only

From Yoshida-sensei of Banana Fish fame, this short manga predates her more well-known work and you can see her explore some of the themes and ideas that you'll often see in Yoshida's works. I didn't relate to the characters (Which is actually nice sometimes! Different perspectives are good!) and it's kind of a weird manga, but it got a few laughs out of me and it was cool seeing Yoshida experiment.

This is how he introduced himself to an American working at the base - WILD

COMEDY, SLICE OF LIFE

✨Let's Go Karaoke! by Wayama Yama

(oneshot)

Available in English

I've been eyeing this title for YEARS and almost bought it so many times. Finally read it and idk why it took me so long. A charming, quirky, silly, wholesome story about a yakuza getting singing lessons from a choir kid. There's a sequel that's currently being published, ファミレス行こ/Famiresu Iko/"Let's Go To a Diner," but it seems to have a slow release schedule and hasn't been released in volume form yet. I don't see it available to read digitally either so I guess we'll just wait for a tankobon release.

COMEDY, SLICE OF LIFE

✨Captivated, by You by Wayama Yama

(oneshot)

Available in English

A wholesome quick read that left me with a smile on my face. The characters in this manga are just sweet kids and it's delightfully mundane. I mean that in the best way. It was just so nice to read.

COMEDY, SLICE OF LIFE

✨Onna no Sono no Hoshi by Wayama Yama

(3 volumes, ongoing)

JP only

More of Wayama Yama's infectious brand of humor and fuzzy feelings that I'm completely in love with at this point. Read what I said for the last two titles - same good stuff.

DRAMA, SCI-FI, MYSTERY

✨Gene Bride by Takano Hitomi

(3 volumes, ongoing)

JP only - English summary in this post

Sci-fi title that slowly unfolds its mystery and features two incredibly charming characters with a hilarious dynamic and tons of personality.

DRAMA, SLICE OF LIFE

✨Ikoku Nikki by Yamashita Tomoko

(11 volumes, complete)

JP only

My current read!

15-year old Asa's parents passed away in a car accident and her aunt, Makio, who works as an author has taken her in. This series is so human and makes me feel too seen and it's too relatable... Gives me the warm and fuzzies but also makes me want to cry. I need Makio in my life tbh.

Just gonna leave this here...

[atom-writings]

Hello!! Can I request France, England and Germany with a s/o who is demissexual (you know, ace spectrum, need deep conection, takes a long time to want sex etc) and haven't had sex yet and feels very insecure?

(France, England, and Germany X Reader) Demisexual S/O!

(Gender Neutral) Headcanons ~ A/N sorry this is shorter its very specific. Anyway happy pride month any queer related requests r gonna get fufilled first for a while!!!

Trigger Warning: Mentions of sexual subjects, but no real discussion.

This is absolutely NO problem for Francis. He is like, the number one boundary respecter. Before he initiates any physical contact, even little things like holding your hand, he asks for your permission. And if you say no, there are no questions asked. He would NEVER ask anything of you that you don’t 100% want.

Once you tell him about your insecurities, he freaks out. His beloved? Feeling bad for doing nothing wrong? No! Not on his watch! Anytime you bring up feeling you missed the time were it was acceptable to have a first time, he’s immediately batting that thought down and insisting that “he’s been around for thousands of years, he knows a little more about acceptable timeframes.” Whenever you feel especially ‘broken,’ he’s there to hold you close and whisper affirming words all night. Your sexuality and your experiences with it say nothing about your character! Feeling safe and comfortable is more important than doing what society expects of you! He loves you no matter what.

He’s totally willing to lay his dignity down on the line to defend you about that too. If someone made fun of you for being a virgin, he is totally willing to shout, “I WAS VIRGIN UNTIL 121 SO IF YOU’RE TEASING ONE OF US, TEASE ME!” which is… embarrassing for the both of you, but it’s better than nothing. Also, anyone trying to say demisexuality is invalid is getting a death glare as he physically moves you away from them.

Arthur has always had problems with that kind of intimacy, so it’s quite a relief to him that you aren’t super into it. He’s perfectly happy with the way things are now, don’t worry. Take as much time as you need.

He might be a little surprised when you tell him you’re a virgin, but he doesn’t judge you at all! No matter how old you are! It doesn’t change how he sees you in the slightest. If anything, it’s a good thing. It means you haven’t been comfortable doing that and haven’t forced yourself to. Which is great! It’s a little embarrassing, but he’s always been quite… promiscuous… and that’s often gotten him into pretty terrible situations. He’s glad you haven’t had to deal with all that.

Despite the fact that he is godawful at communication, he wouldn’t pressure you into anything you’re uncomfortable with. Even if he doesn’t understand, he won’t say anything about it (well, anything more than an “oh. ok!”)

Also, he’s known plenty of people throughout history that barely had sex. It’s totally normal. Anyone saying that demisexuality is a new concept is dead wrong.

Personally, I strongly believe that Ludwig is on the asexual spectrum himself! But regardless of whether that exactly is true, he has no problem with a relationship that lacks that aspect. It’s quite hard for him to get comfortable around anyone, so he’ll need as much time as you do anyway.

Seriously, don’t feel bad about still being a virgin. He was a virgin for a long, long time (longer than you’ve been alive, probably) and his life changed very little because of it. It’s always better to be sure you want something rather than just doing it because of social pressure.

Everyone has their timeline <3 Like, he didn’t learn to read until he was like, 20, but would you hold that against him? No. So don’t feel guilty for not experiencing that yet.

He won’t ask you anything about it either. Only if you come to him first asking for it will he ever initiate anything like that. Holding hands and staring deeply into each other's eyes satisfies him perfectly. (He was raised Catholic, cut him a break.)

And if anyone tries to invalidate your sexuality, he can always pull the “I’m hundreds of years old and have been experiencing this kind of thing the whole time. You’re just ignorant” card. He’s very happy to!

[goodmorninglovelies42]

omg, if you're comfortable, please tell us ALL your thoughts about a deaged jamie fic.

Ohhhh okay. Thank you for the ask! I would love to!

Okay, so. In my head, it happens the night after their fight. I think Roy makes a mean comment about Jamie being a child (which he doesn’t mean, even. But it’s unkind, and Jamie is quite hurt by it. Because he’s not a child and hasn’t he been proving that to Roy for two years now?and Roy regrets it immediately. But because it’s Roy, he can’t just *say* that). But that comment is what triggers the magic. I’ve seen other fics with magical realism use Beard and his teas as a conduit, so maybe that also happens here. It’s a combo of some wild tea from Beard and the magic words from Roy.

So after they eat kebabs (which are around the corner from Roy’s house), Roy’s still feeling guilty, and Jamie looks exhausted, so he says, “why don’t you just stay over at mine tonight.”

So Jamie does, and the next morning when they wake up — Boom, Jamie’s six. I’m trying to decide if he keeps his memories or not and I’m leaning towards no. Or if he does, they fade as the day goes on. But either way, by the end of the day, Jamie is fully a six-year-old in both body and mind. And he’s the six-year-old of his own youth.

Now, many people have their own thoughts about the extent to which James Sr. was in Jamie’s life. Jamie says in season one that his dad “started coming around” when he got good at football. Now, I’ve interpreted that to mean that’s when he started coming to his games, because he’s talking about it in the context of playing football, so I head canon that his dad was around the neighborhood and known to him but just not involved in his football playing until he started to get good. So while I imagine that Georgie had primary custody, I head canon that James Sr. was largely neglectful but would have intermittent, oftentimes abusive contact with Jamie. Kind of like how he was “playing super dad” when he took Jamie to Amsterdam at 14.

So with a 6yo Jamie, you’re likely getting a child who deeply misses his mother and has been given unending love and support from her, but who is probably distrustful of adult men. And a child who has enough self confidence instilled in him by his mother but also who has triggers related to his dad. And I think that would be an absolute roller coaster for Roy to confront.

And Roy knows how to take care of kids! He’s great with Phoebe and I think he’d be great with Jamie for the most part. But what he hasn’t dealt with is the triggers Jamie might have. And what a growth opportunity that is. Because when Roy curses around Phoebe or yells about something in her presence, she’s completely fine and rolls with it. Because she trusts Roy and feels completely safe. But Jamie on the other hand is frightened. And seeing Jamie frightened like that makes Roy all the more angry at Jamie’s dad, but also deeply empathetic towards both child Jamie and adult Jamie.

Anyway, that’s all I got so far! No idea how it resolves or what happens when it does. But that’s what draws me to the story.

[gregoftom]

alright so, same anon as before since this is kind of following that same thread, and this makes sense in my head but i’m not sure if i’ll be to convey it over text in the most concise way so please bear with me if this comes out an unintelligible mess

i’ve been wondering for awhile just what was the catalyst for greg’s sudden need to ask out a woman, and then in turn try to get with any tenable woman within reason. we know he’s overcompensating with his comphet, but just what triggered it? when in the past two and half seasons greg has never been shy about displaying or announcing his disinterest in (hetero)sexual discussion or activities (asking if there’s a non sexual corner for him at tom’s bachelor party, his disgust at tom’s confession later, other examples i’m probably forgetting)

then it suddenly occurred to me. starting from 2x07 and up to 3x07 greg and tom have their “going to jail is a very real possibility and we’re terrified” arc. they both have reasonable anxieties, although greg’s is almost immediately honed in on the likelihood of him being assaulted (“yeah you’d like that pretty boy like you” “because of my physical length i could be a target for all kinds of misadventure”). tom definitely has that concern too, but included is also the worry of his entire life crumbling around him, the end of his marriage and lack of creature comforts. since the greg sprinkles line on the yacht, everyone has been aware of the possibility of tom and by extension greg serving time, and of course nobody else is sympathetic to it. when they view either of them with that in mind the possibility of them being abused in prison isn’t a reality to them, it’s a punchline. and tom and greg are aware of that

cue 3x07. tom has relieved greg of that outcome, prison is off the table. greg is thrilled, but it probably soon comes crashing down on him now that for the past few months the possibility of him being involved in (non consensual) homosexual activities has been a joke to his entire social circle. through no action of his own he is aware that the people around him have thought of him in sexual situations involving other men, even as a fleeting thought. (the soyboy insult from 3x06 can’t be far from mind either)

whether subconsciously or not, that is when he decides to make his (up until now, nonexistent) interest and desire for women known. suddenly he can’t ask comfry out fast enough. and he wants people to know. he seeks out kendall’s approval, he tries to get tom in on it and later brags when he secures a date. at caroline’s wedding when he’s no longer content with comfry, he basically steals the contessa out from roman, and makes sure tom and shiv know. he has two women on each arm at the ceremony. he basically puts up a giant flashing billboard, as if to say, look everybody! cousin greg who everyone thought was doomed to be a prison wife is actually a playboy, and not only does he exclusively like women, he can’t get enough of them.

(there is also something to be said about how when tom breaks the news of their freedom to greg, he is the most outwardly physically affectionate to greg he has been so far with the kiss, and how that also could have triggered a gay panic, leading greg to want to overcompensate and not deal with the feelings brought on by that action and their ever building tension. also how his demand for proof at the red sequoia line was an at that time uncharacteristically aggressive response regarding tom’s consistent sexual teasing, when he felt his masculinity was being challenged, but i digress)

on GOD your brain is absolutely massive anon i. OOGH! all i can say is YEAH this is completely sound and makes so much seeense ugh. the pain and torment and it fits very well in with jesse's usual sort of. display of masculinity and sexuality and all that.

but the LAST paragraph. oogh. this especially makes me LOSE it because of something i've discussed with a mutual about the way greg brings his hands up when he gets kissed by tom, almost like... he's expecting a kiss at the last moment and might reciprocate? i always thought he was bringing up his hands in self defence but surely they'd be more like. palm up? like when he pushed against tom at the recny ball [i think that's right, basically the episode where we found out he snitched to gerri] if that was the case right...? so. like. yeah. but then he thinks better of it. that would also fall in line with what you're saying here.

MUCH TO THINK ABOUT....

[riddle-me-ri]

Requests for BTAS Jervis, you say??? 👀 👀 👀 Maybe some body worship on him? He has the cutest lil tummy and I wanna kiss it and tell him he's pretty 😌

A/N: EEEEE my actual reaction when I got this ask: 😍😍😍 thank you thank you thank you anon! This is the exact request I was waiting for lmao. I love this promot with my whole heart! BTAS Jervis is absolutely deserving of all the body worship. Thank youu

Trigger Warning:  body worship, touching/caressing, handjobs, and blowjobs (all about Jervy again, sorry not sorry)

Word Count: 1.8 k

BTAS Mad Hatter x Reader - Let Me Adore You 

Jervis has always treated you like royalty. You felt like the only person in the world, the only one who truly mattered. 

You failed to recall any other time anyone has ever made you feel so desired. It made you wonder though, if Jervis felt the same way? 

He was more than deserving of it. A little ball of guilt welled up in your stomach. 

You did love him, absolutely cherished him. You returned all his kisses, held his hand tight, wrapped your arms around him every chance you got.

Nevertheless, he deserved more, so much more. You were going to make him feel the way he made you feel. You just hope that you were capable of reciprocating the feeling to Jervis tenfold. 

It was a spectacular night on the town, Jervis was ever so the gentleman as always. He made you laugh and smile until your cheeks hurt. The kisses to your hand, cheeks and lips warmed your body throughout. 

As much fun as you were having you couldn't wait to get him home, so you could finally have him to yourself. 

You two were walking home, your arm tucked into his, yet it felt like you were somewhat dragging Jervis along. 

"W-Why are you in such a rush to get home, darling?" Jervis asked almost nervously, secretly worried that you somehow had a bad time and were rushing back home so it would end. 

When you heard the worrisome tone in his voice it brought your speed walking to a halt. You brought your other arm that wasn’t tucked into his, over his bicep. You squeezed his arm gently, reassuringly. 

“Oh, uh…no reason, in particular…” 

Jervis scrunched his eyebrows for a moment. He did not pry but he couldn’t say he was totally convinced either. Something was definitely on your mind. You tried to keep pace with him and tried to keep your nerves from vibrating in excitement. 

It took everything in you not to just immediately pounce on Jervis once you finally got home. However, you did want to make your intentions known now that you two have retreated to the comfort of your abode.

You snatched the rim of his signature top hat and hung it up carefully, before wrapping your arms around his neck. Jervis was about to ask you for an insight into your thoughts but all words was replaced with a strong red blush as you softly rubbed the tip of your nose along his. 

You arms tightened slightly bringing him closer to you. You leaned in and kissed him deeply. You couldn’t deny your swoon at the sound of his soft whimpers against your lips. 

Barely even touching him, just one deep kiss with many to come and Jervis’ face was already flushed red and he was already gulping for air. 

“W-W…what…what b-brought this on, darling?” 

You hummed softly in amusement at his meekness. Intimacy in your relationship was still fairly new, especially for one like Jervis who has been alone for a vast majority of his life. He was lucky to even see first base let alone make it. 

“I-I want to do something a little…different tonight, my sweet.” Your hands slid down from around his neck to his chest. Your fingers deftly began undoing the buttons of his suit. 

You took the almost comically audible gulp from Jervis as a sign to continue. “I want tonight to be about you and only you…just a way to show my appreciation for you…and how you make me feel…”

Jervis brought his hands up to hold yours to pause your movements. He shook his head, insisting, “y-y-you don’t have too…I-I…I treat you the way I do…b-because I adore you, darling…it’s not…you don’t…your happiness is-” 

You gently placed the tips of your fingers to his lips to stall any more nervous ramblings from tumbling out of his mouth. 

“I know I don’t have too…Jervis…” You smiled at him sweetly. “My beloved, Jervis…I may not have too…but I want to. I really want to…please let me adore you more so than usual anyway, tonight…please?” You titled your head to the side and fluttered your eyelashes, hoping that would seal the deal.

Another loud gulp, but a small nod was all you needed to proceed. 

As if this man could not be any redder. When you finally got him to the bed and undressed, you realized his flushed flaming skin was the same all over his body. You hovered over him, more than delighted to have him open, bare, and all to yourself. 

However, you knew it wouldn’t be the same for Jervis if he remained as tense as he was. You knew this was a new experience for him, you would have to pace yourself, despite how much you desired to bring him to ecstasy. 

“Jervis…sweetheart…I need you to breathe.” You gently laid your equally bare body on top of his. You brought one of your hands up to the back of his head. You began to soothingly comb your hand through his bright blonde hair. 

He managed to regain a healthy breathing rhythm and your felt the rest of his limbs begin to relax. You smiled softly at him before you leaned your face closer to his. 

Jervis began softly chortling as you left sweet small pecks all along his face. You kissed his forehead, his temple, his cheeks, his nose, and even along under his jaw. After your affectionate assault on his face, you came back to the center and finally gave him a proper kiss on the lips. 

You playfully licked along Jervis’ lower lip, causing Jervis to slightly gasp before allowing your tongue access. The way his moan vibrated against your lips and sounded so sweet to your ears…it had no right to make you so excited of what noises he’d make next. 

Reluctantly, you pulled away from the kiss to continue your trail of kisses along his exposed skin. Down his jaw, along his collarbone, down the middle of his chest. Occasionally you heard Jervis gasp at a certain sensitive area of skin, but his breathing was still fairly normal. 

You teasingly tickled him a bit as you hummed along the skin you kissed. The skin of his torso forming small gooseflesh as if leaving a trail of your kissing trek. As you were tailing down his body, your hand was slowly working up his legs towards your groin. 

When your lips got to the more chubbier areas of his stomach, you began littering the skin with kisses. You glanced up, elated at your handiwork so far. Your lips were practically numb from all the kisses, but you didn’t care. 

“You look absolutely gorgeous like this beloved, I hope you feel that way too…it is how you make me feel every day.” You whispered softly. 

Jervis wanted to try and respond somehow, to assure you he felt more than just gorgeous but your fingers slightly ghosting over his cock brought any words to a halt. 

You sit back on your haunches for a minute as you began to slowly stroke his hard member that was already a bright almost irritated red. Jervis’ breathing started to become ragged at this point. You leaned back down towards his face as you slowly began quickening the pace of your strokes. 

You crashed your lips into his once more, adamantly searching for access back into the warm wet cavern of his mouth. His moans strongly hummed into your lips as you began to tighten your grip as well, especially around his head as you stroked up and down. Once again, you pull back to look into his blue eyes you loved. 

“You are doing so well, darling…so pretty like this…” You began slowly moving your head back down his body. Every now and then kissing or softly nibbling at his body. Jervis once again tried to respond, but all that came out was gasps and moans. 

Once your lips were in front of his cock, you gently licked along it. You licked along the opening of his head and collected the bit of cum that gathered there. When you felt he was ready, you finally began lowering your head on his dick. 

You felt his body and legs slightly twitch at the warm and tight sensation of your mouth on him. Especially as you continued to take him further, trying to encompass his dick with your mouth. When you both got comfortable with the new position, you steadfastly began picking up the pace from where your hand left off. 

The sounds Jervis was making were nothing short of delectable. Every pitiful moan, gentle grunt, darling whimper, and they were all yours. All for you. How is it that despite worshipping him you still found yourself extremely pleased? 

You adored him, that’s why. You loved him just as much as he did you. You completed and complimented each other like tea cups to their matching saucers. 

You jumped slightly at the pressure at the back of your head, only to realize it was Jervis’ hand. He softly gripped your scalp as you tightened your lips around him as you dragged your lips back up to his head. The way he was still being gentle but was clearly enjoying himself freely, made you more excited below your waist. You moaned around his member causing him to cry out beautifully. 

“D-Darling…oh…oh darling…I-I…mmhmm.” You tightened your lips once again. “This-is-is…amazing…aahh-” Your hand went down and began rolling his testicles between your fingers and thumb, every now and then squeezing them. 

His legs began twitching slightly and you stole a glance up at him to see him toss his head back. You quickened your pace. You bounced your head along his cock as you tightened your lips and sucked harder on his cock. 

The knuckles on Jervis’ hand that held your head turned white as he gripped tighter as a wave of euphoria overcame him. He hissed just before groaning in bliss as his nerves were lightened up with tingling, pleasurable electricity. 

Meanwhile, you happily gulped and sucked every drop of his fluids like it was your last glass of water. If not for Jervis’ lightly patting your head, you would likely have still warmed his cock in your mouth. You wiped some drool, likely mixed with his cum along your arm before slowly crawling up beside him. 

As you laid down beside him, you opened your side to him, inviting him to rest his head on your chest for a change. Jervis gladly accepts, wasting no time to nestle his head in the crook of your shoulder and neck. The tip of his nose occasionally tickling the side of your neck. 

You kissed the top of his bright hair, before snuggling your face into the thick of it. “I hope I was able to show you just an inkling of how you make me feel.” You whispered softly, almost worried to break the serenity of the moment. 

You felt Jervis huff bemused. “Oh, you did, beloved. I always felt like the luckiest man alive to have you for my own…but now I know for sure that I am.” He leaned his head up for a second to look into your eyes. Jervis leaned in and you happily returned the gentle kiss, before blissfully drifting off to sleep.

[seafoamchild]

it's been a very intense couple of weeks. i went to gran's funeral on Sunday. I didn't really feel much about her dying until I was at the funeral, looking at pictures of her and hearing about her life. I was a bit overcome with emotion. I cried, and I never cry. I will miss her.

it was nice to see my extended family but hard to be with my parents. I absolutely hate being with both of them at the same time. it triggers me SO much, I instantly shut down. the constant anxiety about everything. the way EVERYTHING becomes about my dad's emotions.

I've had this epiphany that my dad almost CERTAINLY has bpd. like textbook symptoms. uncontrollable rage. insanely unregulated emotions. blaming everyone else for his feelings. fear of abandonment. intense, consuming anxiety. inability to be alone. seeing everyone as either good or bad.

I've always known he was not normal, but it feels so very validating to learn that he almost certainly has a personality disorder. it makes me sad and angry. I had a very traumatic childhood. my family dynamic was all fucked up. quite frankly it was abusive. my dad would explode with anger over the dumbest shit. we were constantly walking on eggshells. I remember my mom bending over backwards to make/keep him happy. making sure everything was perfect for when he got home, even going so far as telling us to be ready to smile and excitedly greet him when he walked through the door. on one hand I get it, she was scared of him and wanted to prevent a possible rage episode. but it taught me that my dad's emotions were my responsibility, if he blew up, it was my fault, that it was up to me to not set him off. it was extremely damaging.

I totally shut down because of my dad's abuse. and to this day, I continue to immediately shut down whenever I'm with my parents. they don't know the real me. they only know my protective shell. I think they truly have no idea how much pain they inflicted upon me. I showed signs of being emotionally abused throughout childhood... super withdrawn, lack of self esteem, poor social skills, aggressive towards animals. it got even worse during adolescence and I was always made to feel that I was bad. that I was the problem. my brother was also very cruel to me, which I think was his way of coping with our chaotic home life. everyone in my immediate family was banded against me, it seemed. I felt so alone, so withdrawn, so so so bad about myself. and my dad continued being an off and on piece of shit, without a single apology to anyone ever. to this day it continues. I think he is literally incapable of changing.

I have been realizing that none of this has been all in my head. it is real. I did not get the childhood I deserved. I was raised in an emotionally abusive environment. I did not feel safe in my home. and I have suffered for years from poor self esteem, self loathing, disordered eating, depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. there is a reason for all of this. and it's not because I'm a bad person.

I am really trying to navigate how to make peace with myself. and how to make peace with the fact that I cannot change my dad and I cannot fix him. my life is up to me now. it's just a whole lot to process.