#that he really tried to assume sirius's position

[changetheprophecy81]

Ok but can we talk about that one scene after Snape kills Dumbledore though

Death Eaters: Are clearly running away from a crime scene

Buckbeak:

Death Eaters: Continuously try to hex Hagrid (man who fought a literal court case for him)

Buckbeak:

Death Eaters: Set Hagrid's hut on fire

Buckbeak:

Snape: Hexes Harry to the ground

Buckbeak:

[constitutionalweasleymonarchy]

What's your favourite thing about [character]?

Percy 🤢

(You promised Percy Gone Wild fics)

Hello Nena is that you Nena good to hear from you Nena

(How awkward if you aren't in fact, Nena)

As with people, it's so hard with good characters to pinpoint the One Favorite Thing about them. But actually with Percy I do think one of my favorite things about him is what a rule-follower he is. He is at his heart someone who wants to do things the right way, who in fact when he is eventually placed into various positions of authority himself takes it very seriously because he believes in upholding the rules. We live in a society! There are curfews for a reason! Cauldron bottom thickness is a consumer protection issue!

As much as Percy is regarded as someone very full of himself and who loves being in charge, a huge part of his personality that's not often recognized in tandem with this is how deferential he is, in fact, to those in positions of authority over him. He respects authority, and he respects it because it is authority. He assumes authority is good and ought to be followed. Now, is this a weakness as well? Of course, I'd in fact say it might be his biggest weakness and is even more prominent a reason for his split with his family, even more than pride or ambition or resentment. He places all of his trust in authority and I think it's hugely difficult for him to deprogram himself of the habit to submit to the established order of things. (He's different in this way to Hermione, for example, who believes in rules but ultimately has no qualms breaking them when she believes it is the right thing to do or will serve her subjective purpose.)

At all stages of his life that we see, we see Percy meeting if not exceeding expectations. These are the things that are expected of you as a good son, elder sibling, student, Prefect, employee, citizen -- and by God he is going to do all of those things. This guy tries, and it's not just about self-aggrandizement; he cares about getting it right. He feels responsible for the welfare of his siblings, and even of Harry (we see him following Harry around in POA after Sirius has been seen in the castle, and Harry suspects it's per Molly's orders). He expresses that care in the form of bossing them around, but I mean, look who his mother is!

Halfway through canon all these various sources of authority -- parents, teachers and school administrators, bosses, government leaders -- start to come into conflict with one another, as is often the case in life. When he was younger it was much more straightforward. Do your chores, look after the younger ones, get good marks, get a good job. I believe there are a lot of factors that play into his choosing the the authority of the Ministry over his family/ Harry/ Dumbledore in book 5, but I genuinely believe that he genuinely believed the Ministry had everyone's best interests in mind. And I think by that point owing to the convergence of various factors, he trusted the Ministry a lot more.

And there's actually something really heartbreaking about the idea that Percy has to contend more and more with the fact that you can do everything right -- in the sense of doing everything that is prescribed and asked of you, performing well according to conventionally held standards, being responsible -- and your life can still be magnificently fucked up. You're the black sheep at home. Your siblings make fun of you to your face for things you're doing in earnest. You have never rebelled against your parents, and when the time comes that you do have a knock-down-drag-out fight with your father, he doesn't even stop to look more deeply into the source of antagonism in his otherwise perfect child (this is perhaps the biggest fuck-up of Arthur's in that fight -- there is a huge lack of curiosity and reflection about the source of Percy's enmity -- Arthur is peak Weasley reacting first and asking questions later.)

And the last thing you have to cling to is being an excellent employee and loyal citizen and committed to order, and wow, does that blow up in your face SPECTACULARLY.

[andillneverbethesame]

𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔.

❥ df!sirius black x fem!reader

❥ summary; they tried to destroy your relationship. but they can't take what's yours.

❥ warnings; age gap

❥ a/n; requested by @i-bitch-you-bitch , hope you like it <3 this was so weird to write knowing who this song Is about...

“hold on!” you waved your hand as you tried to catch the closing elevator. one man in there was kind enough to hold the door for you. maybe he wouldn’t do it if he didn’t know who you were or if you simply weren’t who you were. but everyone knew.

“thank you.” you smiled kindly at the gentleman. he nodded and brought his attention back to who you assumed was his friend and you stared at the elevator door which just closed.

the way to the highest floor was, as always, taking forever. nobody greeted you and nobody talked to you either. these two things combined made you wish you took the stairs. as if it couldn’t get worse, the two young women that got inside in second floor were whispering and you thought you overheard your name. of course, you could’ve been mistaken but when your boyfriend’s name was mentioned too, you sighed because you just could not believe people were talking about you two again.

you wished sirius was there in that elevator too. he would hold your hand and quietly whisper jokes about their stupid stares, making you giggle. he would kiss your temple and then smudge your lipstick with his lips to make everyone jealous.

the elevator doors opening got you out of your dreams and it was time to get back into the real world. you sighed once again and stepped out to begin your day.

ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours

sirius’s day was awful and the fact it was not over made him want to jump from the window right in his office. but he could not do that. he still had four more hours to go.

the only thing keeping him sane was the thought of you in his bed tonight again. not in a sexual way but he couldn’t wait to hold you and run his fingers through your hair and hide with you away from the world that frowned upon your love so unfairly.

sirius thought about it many times. he understood why many people saw it like it was weird. he was after all not only almost two decades older than you but he was also a very close friend of your father, who, as expected, did not approve of his relationship with his only daughter and he made sure sirius knew it. sirius was still surprised your father let him work in his company. but what he could not wrap his head around was why people cared so much. you two weren’t inappropriate during work time (as much as sirius wanted). well, not more inappropriate than other couples around there.

lost in his mind, paperwork long forgotten, he almost didn’t hear two male voices outside his office.

“y/l/n looks really good today, doesn’t she?” said one of the voices, emphasizing heavily on the “really”. sirius recognised it. the voice belonged to a man who was often at the meetings your father held. his position was important but not as important as sirius’s.

“she always does,” said the other, unknown voice and sirius only silently agreed. “if she only wasn’t with black. . .”

“so what if she is?” sirius perked up at that and raised an eyebrow.

the other man stayed silent for a few seconds before asking, “what are you up to?”

“black’s old. gonna be on death bed soon.” sirius gasped dramatically. he wasn’t that old. “i’ll show y/n it’s better to be with someone her age.”

ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours

your day wasn’t the best either. it wouldn’t be a day of working at your father’s company without countless remarks about your love life from your female coworkers.

they're just jealous, you'd say to yourself all the time and you knew they were but every time they'd talk about your relationship with sirius, you wanted to have your fists in their faces.

"hey, y/n." you glanced up from your computer to see your coworker daniel smiling down at you. it wasn't a regular friendly smile, you recognised that right away.

"hi," you raised an eyebrow. you didn't mean to sound this rude but you couldn't help it with the confusion. daniel rarely ever talked to you before although he did talk to every girl around here. poor boy was probably just scared of your father.

"you look awesome today, did you do something with your hair?"

you shook your head, watching him get a bit flushed with embarrassment but he recovered quickly.

"anyway, i was wondering," daniel said, "if you'd like to visit the new restaurant across the street with me."

your eyes widened. one of your coworkers coughed out the word "whore" as she passed you two but you ignored that as you questioned if daniel has lost his mind. there was no way he didn't know about you and sirius. everyone knew.

"um," you laughed nervously. this was awkward. "no, i don't think so. the only person i'd visit the new restaurant with is my boyfriend of seven months." you tilted your head. "i'm sure you know who i mean."

daniel furrowed his eyebrows. "black?" he asked.

you nodded, looking at him as if it wasn't absolutely and completely obvious.

"that's strange," he spoke.

you rolled your eyes. "what's strange?"

he shrugged before saying, "i thought you two broke up."

"why would you think that?"

"well. . ." he looked around and then leaned closer to you. his voice was lower when he said, "i'm pretty sure i just heard him accepting to go on a date with lucy wood."

you knew lucy wood and you hated her with your whole heart and soul. you couldn't believe sirius would go on a date with his bloody ex and maybe you should've known that what daniel said was quite a lie.

but what you didn't know, as you said "fine, i'll go on a dinner with you", was that on the other side of the building, a very similar thing had just happened to sirius.

ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours

for the rest of the day and the next one, you and sirius completely ignored each other. the news of you going on dates with totally different people than the other one spread around your father’s companylike a wildfire. people talked badly about you without even knowing what really happened but you tried to ignore it. there was no use in trying to explain anything, they wouldn't listen anyway.

you were so heartbroken and disappointed that sirius would do something like that to you. maybe you got it all wrong. maybe you mistook it all with nothing but intentions of friendship and occasional sex. maybe the words boyfriend and girlfriend meant something completely different to him than to you. maybe you should have asked him about it earlier but who could've known it'd turn this way? definitely not you.

with one last sigh and one last look in the mirror, you made your way into an elevator.

ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours ours

sirius felt the very same way. but he hid it way better than you.

after a night of crying and smashing everything in his apartment, he appeared the next morning in your father’s company with a bright smile on his lips. he was glad he found out how you truly were sooner than later and he thought that maybe it was good that your relationship was over as it was causing too many problems although his heart ached horribly every time he remembered he fell for your kindness and innocence.

of course, he scoffed and rolled his eyes. it was all an act.

his head slightly hit his desk over and over again as he repeated stupid, stupid, stupid, in his mind.

a sudden knock on his office door surprised him and he hit his forehead quite hard, making him groan.

“come in,” sirius called. the door opened, revealing his best friend james potter. “what are you doing here?”

“well, hello to you too,” james closed the door behind him. “i’ve heard what happened from marlene and so i stopped by to ask how are you doing.”

“you could’ve just called,” sirius murmured, probably quietly enough for his friend not to hear him. “i’m fine,” he said, louder this time. “going on a date with lucy in an hour.”

james scrunched his nose at the mention of lucy’s name. sirius knew very well none of his friends really liked her when they dated two years ago but he hoped that if they got together again, it would be better this time.

“okay, well. . . good luck,” said james who hoped that he won’t have to be seeing lucy around sirius like that ever again. “uhm, i have to go now. call me if you need anything.”

“yes, mum, i will!”

james playfully rolled his eyes and with a “goodbye”, he left sirius’s office and walked over to where elevators were. when the one he was standing in front of opened, his eyes fell on you.

“y/n!” he said, his voice full of surprise.

“james!” you smiled warmly. “what are you doing here?” you regretted that question as soon as it left your mouth.

“i was- um. . . visiting sirius.

you nodded, your lips pursing into a thin line. “right.”

he got into the elevator and for the whole way down, you both were silent.

you both got out on the same floor.

“you look great, by the way,” james complimented you. “this daniel guy surely is a lucky man.”

“thank you. it could be sirius if he wasn’t a dirty traitor.” the words slipped past your lip before you could even register them in your mind.

the man raised an eyebrow. “what do you mean by that?”

“well, if he didn’t agree to go on a date with wood, i wouldn’t agree to go on a date with daniel.”

james stared at you for a hot minute before he finally said, “but. . . but sirius only agreed to go on a date with wood just because she told him you agreed to go on a date with daniel. . .”

you stared right back at him. “but. . . daniel told me. .” the realization hit you and you slapped your forehead. “oh god. . .”

james nodded in realization. “he’s in his office.”

you thanked him and briskly went to catch an elevator but it was taking forever and so you decided to take the stairs instead. you were hardly catching your breath by time you got into the floor his office was in but you didn’t stop running.

you knocked about a thousand of times before he finally opened the door.

“what the f- y/n!” he frowned. “what do you want?”

his voice was so cold it made you shiver.

“we fell for a trick, sirius.”

he suddenly seemed interested in what you had to say. “what are you talking about?”

you explained and sirius chuckled and before you could say anything else, your face was in his hands his lips were on yours. when he pulled away, his mouth was slightly covered with your dark red lipstick. it was coincidentally his favourite one. so was the purple dress you were wearing.

he intertwined his fingers with yours. “come on, let’s show everyone they can’t take what’s ours.”

[seriousbrat]

What I find comfortable to say is pathetic about James is his righteousness. We see that in SWM when he tries to get Snape to apologise to Lily (I get the sentiment, but you're simply not in the position to do that?), and when he meets Snape on the train and genuinely thinks wanting to be in Slytherin makes you morally inferior.

He was 16 and 11 in these instances, but as much as he grew and learned about the complexities of the world and the human psyche, his slightly childish black-and-white sense of morality was still his downfall.

We hear Lupin say Harry is a lot like James in this aspect, but I think one thing Harry has that James never quite developed to the same level is an enormous amount of empathy. Maybe it's foolish of Harry to not shoot to kill, but Harry managed to empathise with Voldemort, and I think it's safe to assume through Sirius and Remus* that James never managed to do the same with Snape.

*just considering that as adults, Sirius showed absolutely no regret, and Remus, tho he did recognise how bad their attitude towards Snape was, didn't quite recognise just how much it actually impacted Snape. So if Remus is the most enlightened end of the Marauders Moral Spectrum (not a great one altogether), and Sirius is the most clouded, I think James would sit somewhere in the middle, but probably more inclined to agree with Sirius.

Definitely, I agree!! Specifically, I think his hypocrisy about his righteousness is what's pathetic. I said this in the post about James that I linked, but a strong moral code (which James has always had) doesn't actually mean anything without true empathy and understanding towards others. Else it's all too easy to convince yourself that something does align with your moral beliefs. Particularly if those beliefs are very black and white and very rigid. We've seen this plenty of times through history and in the present day, where lack of empathy leads people to believe that X group is evil and that therefore the righteous, moral thing to do is to hurt them.

James believed that Death Eaters = Bad. That much is true enough. But in his mind this became Death Eaters = Slytherins = Bad. And specifically Death Eaters = Slytherins = Snape = Bad. Therefore, Attacking Snape = Good.

This is really just a justification for the fact that James found it validating (and fun, and easy) to pick on Snape. The Gryffindor vs Slytherin/James vs Snape/Good vs Evil dichotomy inherited from his dad was further established in his brain early doors when he met Snape on the train. Lack of empathy is common in teens, who, psychologically, tend to view the world as revolving around themselves. While I think a part of James (very small, very deep down) knew it was wrong, it was easy enough to feel justified in bullying Snape because there's a hint of truth to the worldview that Slytherins are, if not inherently evil, generally not good people. But that doesn't excuse cruelty, obviously, and I think James as a character is a good example of the fact that people who have """""correct""""" moral beliefs are still capable of cruelty.

I also think tumblr/twitter 'SJW' culture are places this is seen very clearly, when people who express opinions even slightly outside of what's considered acceptable, even if it's a simple mistake borne of ignorance, are dogpiled on and cyberbullied in the name of social justice, when in reality it would be much more productive and much kinder in many situations to just calmly engage in honest conversation. Certain spaces (echo chambers) do breed a lack of empathy, and in general people who have strong opinions but haven't the empathy to realise the world inevitably contains a wide variety of opinion, and lack the understanding to back up their own beliefs, tend to react with great hostility to anyone who doesn't share them.

Point is, you aren't automatically a good person because you have the 'right' beliefs. What matters is what you do.

Anyway I got sidetracked. But I also wanted to say that I think Lily is the opposite of James in this. She's empathetic to a fault. She has so much empathy towards Snape that she fails to see (or at least to really address) his problems and the danger he represents to her, at least until it's nearly too late. I'd say Harry is somewhere in between his parents, which is probably a good thing. Also I do think that because they were opposites in this regard, Lily and James were probably quite good for each other haha and balanced each other out, eventually growing towards a similar place somewhere between Lily's blind empathy and James's black and white morality. So he became less rigid and she became more structured (this is the new she was dramatic he was dynamic)

On the Lupin-Black Scale (lmao) I agree that at first James was more towards Sirius's end, but the way I see him, he later began to drift a little bit towards the Remus end. About Remus himself, I think he is an incredibly empathetic character. He's responsible for bringing Peter into the group. Similarly he picks up quickly on the fact that Neville needs a bit of encouragement and provides this quite subtly and quite effectively, and he also notices when Harry is distressed and helps him too. The trouble is that Remus's empathetic nature is at war with his need to be accepted, which is why he tolerates certain behaviours from his friends even knowing it's wrong. In this post about Remus from a while ago, I talked about the fact that Remus is a character full of similar contradictions, and very aware of them himself. His being a werewolf (the stark opposite of his kind, mild, thoughtful nature) is a really good metaphor for that!

[sophsicle]

ASKSLSJJDKAJ the ohb chapter was insaneeeeee the way the whole thing was shaped was beautifulllll

ALICE IS AFTER NARCISSA does anyone actually know that she is just riding off to Crouch???? Has she told anyone or is it just that she’s searching???

The idea of frank as chancellor actually fits so well I’d be so hyped for itttt

WALBURGA IS GONEEEE (or actually in the dungeons which has so much potential for angsty prison visits from reg which mirror the start of the story) AND REG IS MORE OF A LEADER

THAT FINAL SCENE WAS ACC SHAPED SO WELLLL like I don’t know properly how to describe it but I didn’t even consider that it could be the pirates and then James was simping for reg and didn’t even look and they were entering the room and it was all building up and thEN ITS REMUS QND HE SEES JAMES AND JAMES ISNT IMPRISONED OR ANYTHING HES JUST SIMPINGGG AND IS LILY THERE???! AND ALSO REMUS HAS SOLD HIS SOUL BASICALLY HAS BEEN TRAPPED WITH RIDDLE TO GET JAMES BACK BUT HES LIVING HIS BEST LIFE is James even willing at this point to go back with remus? I don’t think he could leave reg at this point but I also don’t see remus understanding his need to stay!!!! Also if Remus has to spend ages trying to convince James to leave (he may even help with battle planning etc) he’ll be staying at the castle and may A) try to bring Cyrus up with him except Sirius can’t come without revealing his secret and also seeing reg again and/or B) have Riddle decide that he needs to oversee him better and come stay in the castle, or assume that the negotiating is too slow (Remus maybe couldn’t tell him that James had been fine) and decide that he will bring Cyrus up to the castle himself to bargain, leading to all of them in the castle in a massively entertaining unholy scrumple

But yeah basically that end bit was both the perfect build up to a cliffhanger, and the best, most question/thought provoking cliffhanger I can think of

THANK YOU FOR THE CHAPTER IT WAS AWESOME

it brings me so much joy to hear you say that about the last scene because i tried very hard to achieve that exact reaction, like i wanted to find some way to get them into the palace but still have it be a shock to James when he comes face to face with them

truthfully Pirate james Potter is not a planner (tbf most James Potters are not planners) so he hasn't thought about any of this at ALL. like he never considers not going back to the ship, obviously he will go back that is his family, that is his crew, Remus is his literal soul, but i also don't think he ever considers leaving Regulus, like he's obsessed, wants to be around him all the time, wants to take care of him, SO having to work that out is going to be a time

and yeah sirius is in a crazy position at the moment, and he is also insanely torn between wanting to see his brother and not wanting to be "Sirius Black" if that makes sense? but of course, Reg and James are both well aware that SIrius is on that ship so he can't really hide for much longer

IT"S GONNA BE CRAZY

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Let's keep twlkimg aboit the House of Black cause I'm obsessed with them too! Mgl it makes me kinda sad that there are almost mone left after the 2nd war, I think born Black there's only Narcissa and Andromeda left, and because they're women they don't get to keep the name. Idr now if this is canon or Ive reas too many fics, is Harry the new owner of Grimmauld Place now? I think Sirius left it to him am I right? Does that mean he's also the head od the house now? Is he head of both the Blacks and the Potters now?

Have a nice day!

Anonymous asked: About the post on Black family (which I truly loved😍) I've few questions: 1. when Sirius died did Harry inherit every penny that was in the black vault and every manor they had? Or just what Sirius' uncle has left to him? 2. Do you think Harry when he gets older sits in the wizengamot and has a title?

Hi, thank you both so much! 💓

I'm answering the asks together as they're kinda similar.

So, I mentioned in the Wizengamot post that I think the Potters also have a Wizengamot position since at least two Potters have been mentioned to sit on the council. So, Harry should have that position from the Potters anyway. Well, he gets the seat, he doesn't have to use it as it seems you can opt-out from what little is written about the Potter family on Pottermore:

Occasionally, a Potter made it all the way to London, and a member of the family has twice sat on the Wizengamot...

(From Pottermore)

It seems the Potters opted out more often than not. I guess the Blacks, who had a house in London for the parliament season (the social season for the aristocrats in London in the past was for the season the Parliament — in our case, the Wizengamot — was in session) probably involved themselves in the Wizengamot more.

As for what Sirius inherited from his family, well, I'll say all of it. He wasn't officially disowned, it seems, since after he dies, Harry gets Grimmauld Place and Kreature, both not left to Sirius by his uncle:

“Yes,” said Dumbledore. He did not ask Harry why he had not confided in the Dursleys. “Our problem,” he continued to Harry, as if there had been no interruption, “is that Sirius also left you number twelve, Grimmauld Place.”

(HBP, 49)

The house and Kreature weren't Alphard's to give, therefore Sirius was likely never disowned and as the last remaining Black by name (very sad), received all of it. I always headcanoned it as his mother burning him off the family tapestry as she did Alphard without officially disowning him since she didn't have the authority to do so. Also, I think Walburga never really stopped loving Sirius in her own way, even after he ran away. Like, I think she burned him and Alphard off the tapestry in a moment of anger and made it permanent magically, but she tried to return Sirius a few times. Like, I truly think she didn't really mean to disown him when she did that. I think Walburga's and Sirius' relationship was a very complicated one and as much as they both claim to hate each other, they don't.

As for whether Harry is the head of both Potters and Blacks and gets two Wizengamot seats... I'll guess no. Like, he got all the money and houses and while we don't know much about Wizengamot law if it indeed has seats for certain families, I think there would be some rule in place that won't allow a single member more than one seat. There isn't really evidence for it, just my personal headcanon. So, in my head, Harry gets the Potter seat and the Black family gets replaced with a new family, which probably happened to other families in the past. I mean, if Hufflepuff had a seat, I assume in the books the Smith family got that seat through marriage at some point in the past. Same with Slytherin and the Gaunts, where the seat passed through the female line. Then when the Gaunts fell from grace they were voted out and replaced by another family (at least in my headcanon). So, in the case of the Black family seat, the Malfoys (the books mention Lucius isn't on the Wizengamot) might get it through Narcissa or a completely new family would get voted in (like what I headcanon happened with the Gaunts). Like, I have a lot of headcanons about how the Wizengamot works, but not much evidence, unfortunately.

[sorrowful-wallflower]

Marauderstober Oct 5th

Jegulus-James and Black Cat Reggie Cuddles

1344 words

Jegulus- Black Cat Reggie & James Cuddles

James was sitting on the couch in the living room of Potter Manor while a flurry of activity happened around him. He was in his own little world and didn’t want to listen to whatever Dumbledore had to say. It was probably more of ‘they knew the risks or I’m sorry we lost them but it was a necessary sacrifice for the greater good of the war’. James was tired of the war and just wanted to take all of his loved ones and run until it was over. He didn’t even care anymore.

They had already lost so many people, those who were friends and those that he barely knew. They had ‘lost’ Regulus last year, only for Dumbledore to tell them that he made the sacrifice to go into the cave but it was okay because they got the Horcrux. It was fucking bullshit. James was getting better at pretending around Dumbledore and so far he was none the wiser. When he first told them about Regulus, Sirius went off on a tangent and James just collapsed on the floor and cried.

Now, they know the truth. Regulus showed up at Potter Manor the same day that Dumbledore told them that he was dead. Needless to say, James and Sirius proceeded to lose their collective minds when they walked into the house and found Regulus sitting on the couch.

As Dumbledore headed for the floo, Leo, James’ black cat, jumped up onto his lap and nudged his hand until James started to pet him absentmindedly. Everyone else who didn’t live in Potter Manor left a few minutes later and Sirius plopped down on the couch next to James. He reached out and scratched Leo behind the ears before he pulled his hand back quickly to avoid getting scratched.

“You little shit,” Sirius complained as he rubbed his hand. He wasn’t quick enough.

“What did you expect to happen, Pads?” James laughed lightly.

“It’s not my fault he has to transform every time someone comes over,” Sirius huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest like a petulant child.

“Considering, you are the one who told Dumbledore that he could have the meetings here when I was out on a mission, it kind of is,” James shrugged as Regulus curled up in James’ lap and hissed at his brother.

“Well, everyone is gone now,“ Sirius said slowly. “You can change back now, Reg.”

James knew that Regulus wouldn’t change back before he was absolutely positive that no one else was going to show up at Potter Manor. They had talked about it one night when neither of them could sleep and James couldn’t blame him. It was bad enough that everyone assumed he was a good-for-nothing Deatheater, even if Dumbledore had told them that he was a spy for the Order the whole time. Some of the Order didn’t understand or didn’t care that he was forced into serving Voldemort. James knew the second he saw the mark and he promised that he would never leave Regulus to deal with it on his own.

“Whatever, I just don’t see why he still acts like he hates me. It’s not like I made him choose to fake his death,” Sirius continued after he figured out that Regulus wasn’t going to change back.

“You’ll have to ask him later, Pads,” James shrugged as he scratched Regulus behind the ears in the same spot that Sirius had tried earlier and Regulus started to purr.

Sirius saw this and put a hand over his heart in mock offence before storming off to find Remus. James tried to hold back his laughter at his dramatics but it didn’t help that Regulus had moved to snuggle in the crook of his neck and he was ticklish.

“You really do like annoying him, don’t you, love?” James asked after he was able to calm down some more.

Regulus looked at him with his storm grey eyes and James could see him smiling with them before nudging into him some more to say ‘Of course’. It made James smile, big and bright. It didn’t matter what form Regulus chose to be in when they were cuddling. There were perks to both. As a cat, he was so soft and made the most precious sounds. James had had a cat when he was younger. Unfortunately, she passed away when he was still in school. Regulus was better, even though he did love Cleo.

When Regulus cuddled as a human, James knew all of the secret spots to make him squirm until he punched James lightly and glared at him. He had the same glare as a cat though. When James looked at the clock, he noticed that it was almost nine in the evening. Why Dumbledore had to come so late, he would never know nor did he care to ask. James was lowkey one more ‘their sacrifice was for the greater good’ away from punching him in the face and telling the entire Order to find somewhere else to hold their meetings. Just because his parents allowed it when they were alive, didn’t mean he would for much longer.

Regulus buried his head into James’ neck and trilled until James moved over slightly so that Regulus could position himself better on James’ shoulder and glare at Sirius who had come back into the room and scoffed. James just smiled. He knew the brothers loved each other. They just liked to play up the fact that they hated each other once upon a time.

“Are you ready to go to bed, love?” James asked as he yawned.

It had been a long day and he was ready for the day to be over. Regulus rubbed his head against James’ before jumping down into his lap so it was easier for James to pick him up and carry him to their room. James did so and walked up the stairs before setting Regulus down on the bed and changing into his pyjama bottoms. It was October now and it was starting to get a little chilly at night, even if James was a human furnace according to Regulus.

When James crawled into the bed, Regulus kneaded the pillow next to him and circled it until James was done moving around. Once Regulus was satisfied with James’ position, he curled up on top of James’ chest and watched him with his curious eyes. James knew what he was thinking. James was thinking the same thing.

“I know, baby. I don’t want to be here either,” James whispered.

He didn’t want Sirius to hear him, even though he knew he couldn’t. They were on totally different floors and the door was shut. But James didn’t want to have another argument with Sirius about the fact that James didn’t want to be a part of the war any more than Regulus did. Sirius was adamant that Regulus had influenced his decision, which was partially true but he had been thinking about it for a while. They have been out of school and fighting this war for over two years now and they are no closer to winning than when they started and James is just tired of it.

Regulus purred and curled up on James' chest, falling asleep within a few minutes. He didn’t think it would take long for him to fall asleep either but he was waiting to see if Regulus planned on transforming back tonight or not. Not that it made a difference. James watched as Regulus purred contently in his sleep while James rubbed his back. It was one of James’ favourite things to do when Regulus was in his cat form.

“I love you, Regulus,” James said quietly as he nuzzled his nose into Regulus’ fur.

James fell asleep after his eyelids became so heavy he couldn’t keep them open any longer even if he tried. But right before he let sleep drag him under, he felt Regulus transform back and curl into his side.

“I love you too, Jamie.”

@clementinewoolf @cazzythefrogking @maladaptivewriting @multiimoments @lavenderhaze @literally-the-prettiest-star @thebibutterflyao3 @seiworf @emjayeingray @remusregulusrosekiller @heartsoncover @accuratewhereabout @belowthestarrs

[ayukaze]

About to rant about a silly TyHil fic idea in detail for no reason except that I'm going insane thinking about this.

I watched POA on my flight back to India, and the scene right before Remus turns into a werewolf, when Harry, Ron and Hermione are sitting on one side and consoling Ron over his wound gave me this idea. The minute Harry gets up to talk to Sirius, you can see Ron exaggerating his pain and troubles etc to Hermione.

So my mind instantly went to how Tyson would do that too, to get Hilary's attention.

This is how I imagine it would go down.

Tyson takes pride in not feeling too much pain when he gets injured or not feeling as weak when he's sick, until he sees how much Hilary dotes on Daichi when he is feeling unwell. That annoys him, and he does openly poke at Daichi to stop acting like a crybaby and 'man' up so to say, which, however, doesn't earn him any happy looks from Hilary. He lets the emotions pass, assuming that he's more annoyed at Daichi for whining so much, than at Hilary for being so gentle with the kid.

Then surprisingly Kenny calls in sick one day and Hilary is in a frenzy trying to get some comfort food ready for him, picking up flowers and a copy of Ming-ming's latest release on her way to visit him. It irks Tyson but he offers to pitch in for the gift which Hilary graciously accepts. Once at Kenny's house, Hilary is making sure he's tucked in well and has everything within his arm's reach, she's talking with Kenny's mother and offering advice or comforting words, her presence brightens the place up and Tyson knows that he should be proud to be friends with someone like that but there is a weird feeling bubbling at the bottom of his stomach. It takes a lot of effort for him to pretend that Hilary's extra concern about Kenny's health doesn't bother him one bit.

A few days pass and then he notices something that really ticks him off. Daichi is hanging around the dojo again, being a nuisance when their schools are shut over the summer. He's always quick on his feet and with his reflexes, so when Tyson is chasing him for stealing his snacks and Daichi falls over something invisible, landing flat on his face, Tyson knows that something is fishy.

On cue, Hilary arrives at the scene and notices Daichi rubbing his bruised knee, dropping everything she bends down to help him into a sitting position and takes a closer look at the minor scrape. When her attention is turned, Daichi looks up at Tyson and sends him a winning smirk before shifting his expression into a pained one and pointing straight at Tyson to make him the culprit behind the fall.

Of course Hilary takes Daichi's side and doesn't listen to anything Tyson has to say. Meanwhile, the devil that he is, Daichi enjoys the attention he receives from Hilary for the rest of the day, making sure that Tyson witnesses this treatment.

Not that Tyson would never admit it out loud, but the next day he intentionally picks up a hot kettle with his bare hands which leads to a serious burn. Gramps and Hiro are worried but Tyson doesn't care, he calmly heads to the hospital with Hiro, gets the burn checked and treated, receives the necessary medicines needed for it to heal over the next few days and heads back home feeling giddy with expectation.

Hilary is obviously waiting for him at Dojo, having heard about the incident from his Gramps over phone. He happily prepares himself to be smothered by her attention but what happens next makes him wish that he'd burned his stupid brain instead. She doesn't smile warmly, she doesn't try to distract him from the pain with funny stories, she doesn't cook him any of his favourite dishes.

She's mad at him, as she always is, for being so careless and hurting himself. He tries to act like Daichi would, whining about the pain but instead of a comforting pat on the head, he receives a slap, it's what he deserves, Hilary says, for making her worry. Tyson tries again, describing the ugliness of his wound, she looks horrified and launches into an angry lecture about the repercussions an injury like this could have in the long term.

Tyson is just so confused.

All he wanted was for her to look at him with that same smile she gave to Kenny or Daichi, to tell him softly that he'll get better soon, to feel as if he was the only one that mattered to her in the moment. But all she does is glare at him and berate him, her eyes watering up every time they glance towards his bandaged hand.

Though it is strange that despite all her anger and criticism, she does not leave his side all day. Even helps him eat his food when he has trouble holding the chopsticks and reminds him about his medicines.

By the time Tyson falls asleep that night, his head hurts more than his burnt hand. It is just impossible to understand Hilary, he concludes, not too happy with this result. In his dreams however, he sees her again and this time she's giggling cutely as she dangles a piece of his favourite chocolate in front of him and asks him to open his mouth wide...

[elvendorx]

hiiii! i really appreciate everything you do for the j/s fandom and i LOVE reading all your meta! i was wondering if you have an Ultimate Favourite j/s fic? or like a top Five Ultimate Favourite Forever Fics? thanks so much again for everything u do for us j/s obsessed people! <3

hello! thank you so much for your kind words, you are definitely giving me too much credit but i can absolutely give you my most beloved j/s recs <3

three immediately came to mind and they all have in common an incredible trajectory from friendship to romance imo, like the platonic foundations are laid and developed gorgeously. they also have in common a messy james and an intense friendship that is also jagged and spiky in places and i love the unconditionality of the messiness. i kept putting off trying to choose another two, and i will keep doing that for infinity, so here are three for now that i love.

i also made a reclist in 2016 which needs updating because i've read some gorgeous works just this year alone but all of the ones i've marked as formative still stand. apologies for any dead links and also just the weird way i spoke online when i was 20(!)

pioneers by inveracities

I feel like this fic needs no introduction but that's because I've revisited it so much over the years that I just assume most j/s people have also read it. at the time i was very anti reading in-progress fics because of my own impatience but this was soooo worth it. the characterisation just instantly gripped me - it takes a great deep dive into james' psyche, i think that the narration is super clever here, the gap between what james knows and doesn't know, what is said and unsaid. his voice is really strong in this and it really gets the complexity of how the journey from friends to lovers isn't a seamless transition, even though everything is there, but when it matters there's no question of loyalty or love. somehow toxic and also lowkey fluffy at the same time? chef's kiss.

rainbirds by inaspic

this was only published this year but contender for my favourite ever j/s fic??? it just scratches so many of my niche itches and it accomplishes so much in like 10k words. it's kitchen sink, it's got messy james which is underwritten imo (but in all of these fics, go figure), i love james as someone who fucks up and makes mistakes but who tries to be better. i love sirius as james' stability. i LOVE the way that music is an intrinsic part of this fic and the way james and sirius bond, the way james processes alife that he feels out of step with. usually i find it hard to relate to music as a written experience because it feels almost too intimate to replicate but it adds so much hereand it helps that it is music that i LOVE. three of the artists in this fic are in my spotify wrapped top 5 sooo was it written just for me? maybe. i left a comment on this fic so read that for all the things i love about this. also we need more 90s james/sirius

just know by tabbycat

another one that looks at the thin, blurred lines between love and friendship and how they're navigated. i love a james love confession, he's a romantic and i feel like his position of stability for his friends sometimes means that his passion (good and bad) maybe gets overlooked or underwritten. the pacing of this is incredible, sirius' reticence and resolve are written so well and the way that things pass unsaid, or awkwardly said but perfectly understood, between james and sirius signals that strong, underlying bond despite friction on the surface.

hope you enjoy! if you've read them already, they hold up so good on a reread <3

[jadedandconfusedao3]

What is Happiness as a Concept?

Regulus definitely cared the next morning.

He lay there in bed, staring up at the ceiling and trying to ignore the pounding in his head and the churning in his stomach. What was he thinking? Well in truth he hadn’t really been thinking. He blamed the wolf transfiguration because he now knew in detail exactly how Remus smelled and something deep inside him really wanted more of that.

He patted himself down until he came across his wand that was still stuck in his pocket and accio’d a pain potion. It came flying out of the cupboard and into his waiting hand with a thud. He gulped it down and fought the wave of nausea from overtaking him. He swung his legs around to dangle off the bed and accio’d a hangover potion. He was desperate to handle the task himself before Remus had a chance to make good on his offer.

Fuck. He could arrive at any moment and Regulus did not know what to say. Sorry, I got drunk and tried to fuck you because turning into a wolf turned me temporarily insane? No. How about sorry I tried to get you to wake up in my bed so that I didn’t have to Accio my own potions? No. He pulled at the hair on his head hoping that the tight pain would wake him up enough to think of a solution.

He staggered to his feet and lurched over to the bathroom. The only real option was to disappear before he got there. You didn’t have to have an awkward conversation if you weren’t there for it. He hurriedly showered and dressed for the day before escaping into the early morning light. He knew that if he beseeched the elves in the kitchens, he could probably garner a few muffins or something before disappearing into a secluded corner to read.

Hopefully, by the time dinner had come around, Remus will assume that he had forgotten what had happened and they can go back to some semblance of normalcy.

Regulus spent the next several days avoiding Remus. He aimed to never be in a position where Remus could catch him alone and bring up uncomfortable topics like kissing and his very deliberate invite into his bed. The downside to that of course, was that it meant he had to spend a lot of time with Severus and Lily – who he suspected, to his profound disgust, were now a couple.

Of course, because it was Christmas this also meant spending a lot of time with Harry, who had stayed behind to spend time with his mum. Lily was over the moon with the situation. All her favourite people were with her, and she spent the entire time taking pictures and cooing.

The only downside had been the revelation that Harry had received a broom from some unknown person. The Firebolt had appeared at the foot of Harry’s bed in non-descript wrapping without a card. He’d come barrelling into breakfast wearing a huge smile full of thanks to his mother who looked at him like he was bonkers. They were supposed to go looking for a new broom over the holidays.

It had put a significant dampener on the whole affair as Harry was not happy to have his broom confiscated, with no timeline as to when he might get it back. Regulus had tried to soften the blow by offering to go flying with him as much as he could, especially given the fact that he was currently banned from going alone with the threat of Sirius still in the air.

As far as children went Harry was not a bad child. Regulus quite liked having someone to fly with and Harry was not overly loquacious which Regulus appreciated. He was quite content to fly or race silently only engaging in conversation when it was vitally important.

On one such occasion, he was sitting at the top of the quidditch field looking out over the snow-covered lake, marvelling at the beauty of it all when Harry flew up to meet him. He sat silently and stared for a long time before he turned to Regulus and broke the silence. His expression was grim

“Is there something going on between Snape and my mum?” he asked.

Regulus lifted an eyebrow. “I think that’s something you should be asking your mum.”

Harry screwed up his face in disgust. “She says they’re just friends.”

Regulus shrugged. “I don’t have any evidence to oppose that statement.”

Harry gave him a disbelieving look. “How can you say that when you’ve seen them together?” He screwed up his face in disgust. “They’re so cozy.”

Regulus laughed. “Well, I can honestly say that I have never once in my life heard Severus referred to as cozy.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “That’s mum’s fault. She makes anything and everything cozy.”

Regulus sighed as his mind's eye filled with Lily Potter. It was a very true statement. Lily lit the world up like very few people he knew could. She was a lot like Sirius in that way, his enthusiasm and zest for life was mirrored in her love of learning and joy of discovery.

“That she does,” Regulus agreed.

“Why couldn’t it have been you or Remus?” Harry asked grumpily.

Regulus almost choked in surprise. “Excuse me!?”

“You and Remus are cool and nice and,” Harry gripped his broom tight, “Snape is such an arsehole!”

Regulus raised an eyebrow at the boy. “Ten points from Gryffindor Harry. I may be nice but I’m still a professor and so is Snape, and whilst you may not like him, you will treat him with respect.” He paused for a moment before letting a sly grin cross his face. “Even if he is an arsehole.”

“He’s worse than Malfoy.”

“Is that right?” Regulus inquired, the smile on his face growing. “And what, may I inquire is so wrong about my dear cousin?”

Harry spluttered, “He’s… He’s just so pompous and mean and thinks he’s better than everyone else.”

“Hmmm,” Regulus mused, “I think you’re being a little hard on him. There’s not a lot of options for a guy like him.”

“What!?” Harry objected, “Raised with everything anyone could ever want? Living in a mansion? With two parents who obviously love him?”

Regulus scratched absently at his mark. It always played up when he was made to think about his family and his childhood. Parents who loved him. Regulus cringed. He was familiar with that. Sirius hadn’t thought of it as love. After all, when you’ve experienced the sort of love that a family like the Potters can give, you would, wouldn’t you? Regulus however knew the truth of it. How love can sometimes be toxic and suffocating. How it can make you do things you regret.

“Right,” Regulus replied sarcastically, “Because all that money and prestige doesn’t come with a price. Do you really think he’s free to do whatever he wants and be with whoever he pleases?” He scoffed. “Some cages don’t have bars, Harry.”

Harry looked at him with wide eyes. He gulped. “I never really thought about it like that.” He blushed suddenly, the colour flowing into his cheeks. “Do you think he needs rescuing?”

Regulus barked out a laugh. “Maybe.”

Read the rest on Ao3

[roalinda]

this is random, sorry %). In PoA movie Remus says about Lily "She had a way of seeing the beauty in others. Even, and most especially, when that person could not see it in themselves." It clashes with books where Remus never mentioned her name XD but okay, her friendship with Snape applies. And I think - Lily actually shared this trait with James. Dark wizard family heir, a werewolf, weak boy with cruel streak - he went and become their friend.

Hello anon ♡

Sorry for the late reply 😭

In all honesty, I am not much of a fan when it comes to HP movies. They are very misleading, and the whole - straying from the original plot - gets worse and worse with every movie. 🤦‍♀️

But let us assume that what Lupin said in the movie is something that is mentioned in the book as well, because apart from that, the book can give us more information on Lily's character, things that the movie denied the audience.

Most people in the fandom see her as nothing but a random girl who went and got married to James Potter to be Harry's mom whose sacrifice was necessary for the plot, but I think she was more than just a random girl with a history of refusing James' advances. True, we didn't see much of her ( and James) which is sad, but those small flashbacks show us that she was more than just a random girl and she had fire in her.

In the books, it is not explicitly mentioned anything about Lily and Lupin, but his reaction in the lake thing when Lily tried to stop James was not friendly towards Lily. What I mean by not friendly is not seeing her as a foe, I mean not interacting much or acknowledging, BUT I believe that Lily is kind and sees the best in people ( to a logical degree ) as much as she can until she can't. We see that she tries to see the positive traits of the marauders despite the fact that she was not really fond of them at that time in this conversation in the books.

"They sneak out at night. There's something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?"

"He is ill, " said Lily. "They say he's ill — "

"Every month at the full moon?" said Snape.

"I know your theory," said Lily, and she sounded cold. "Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they're doing at night?"

HP and the deathly Hallows - pages 673-674

She is not stupid. She is smart and probably has her own doubts as well, but she doesn't want to dive in the whole thing, not because she is not talented or not brave enough, because she can feel that this a personal problem and if Dumbledore is involved, it is a serious one. But the marauders are different from her, they are this small chain of friends with no intruders allowed despite being popular in the school, so she knows that nothing personal exists between them when it comes to Lupin's illness. She gets the fact that she should stay away and not meddle, because in the most simple term it doesn't have anything to do with her. I think if we want to link Lily's character and her relationship with Lupin during Hogwarts before dating James, this can be exhibit A and in some sense, it backs up what Lupin said in the movie, despite it was in POA and this conversation happened in the DH.

Same goes for Snape as you put it. She tries to continue and save her friendship with him because obviously she cherishes him as a friend until what happened at the lake.

"It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years."

HP and the deathly Hallows - page 675

So yes, she tries to see the good in people until she can't. ( also I have to mention the discussion here is about Lily not Snape )

Now, let's talk about James. I think James has that kind of character who doesn't make excuses for who he is friends with because he won't befriend anyone who he doesn't see worthy. Sirius Black? James was a bit biased at first in train, but Sirius was so easy-going and unbiased towards Slytherin and later showed such a sharp tongue and quick wit that James practically swooned. Remus Lupin? After spending time with him and knowing him, he was not a werewolf in James' idea, he was a friend worth having despite the risks. Peter Pettigrew? Despite what many people in the fandom think, I don't see James befriending him out of pity. James Potter had a big kind heart but he was not a type to stay in a friend group with a person who was pitiful. I think James saw Peter as friend who despite not being talented like he and Sirius, was a good company and a worthy friend. Yes, a great mistake that cost him his life, but that's for another discussion.

I don't find it strange that Lily was trying hard not to cut ties with Snape, considering the fact that he was her first friend from the wizarding world and who introduced her to the notion of magic BUT we have to pay attention to the fact that James was a lonely child that despite growing up in a wizarding family and being spoiled rotten, didn't have any friends before Sirius and later Remus and Peter. James and Lily were in the same boat with different dimensions.

So yes, your thoughts are absolutely correct with the small addition of my humble opinion that James and Lily's kindness is very different, specially in friendship.

Lily can cut ties but James either won't befriend or never cut ties, something so beautiful and tragic in his young life.

[lilithofpenandbook]

And the thing is, Draco's bullying was ultimately really childish. I mean, making Potter Stinks badges? Dressing up as a Dementor? It's childish. It's comically childish, compared to what else was going on. Draco isn't that big of a problem to Harry, he's just a spot of occasional annoyance (had Harry Potter been just a boarding school story and not a war story disguised as a boarding school story, I have no doubt that Draco would have actually been the worst thing, but in the context of the series he's actually pretty tame compared to everything else going on).

But the Marauders? They did things that were just horrifying that could not be justified as childish bullying. Sirius Black tried to murder Severus at 16, something that's taken seriously enough for it to be plausible that he betrayed James and Lily and that he was dangerous in PoA. Sirius and Remus tried to use their age to justify what they did to Severus, but Harry wouldn't accept that despite how he's biased to Sirius and biased against Severus (and I have no doubt that had Harry been a little less biased against Severus, a little less biased to Sirius, and a little older, Harry would not have let it go as quickly as he did). They were clearly on a whole different level.

And don't get me started on how Severus and Harry's relationship can not be compared to Severus and James. It can't. The dynamics were different, the interactions were different, there was no abuse going on like in the James and Severus Abuser/Victim relationship. Severus and Harry were both antagonistic to each other in different ways, and Severus did not actually use his position over Harry as unfairly as people like to think (Harry's narration is biased against him, and it's clearly that of a child being mutinous against an adult authority despite the adult being right/having done nothing wrong. See: grim smile; Harry assuming Severus made up a rule about books and being as sure of it as if it were a fact), and more than that- Severus still protected Harry when Harry needed protection, and ultimately he never harmed Harry (if anything, Harry harmed him- he was triggering, yeah, but he also let to Severus being set on fire; violated his privacy severely; during Severus' escape after killing Dumbledore Harry once again severely triggered him -not on purpose of course but it bears noting; and essentially being difficult and suspicious of him at every turn). The relationship is complicated, yes, antagonistic and stormy for sure, but it's not abusive.

The Marauders and Severus, however, were clearly an abuser and victim relationship. There was nothing complex in it.

Some people in the marauders fandom are so hypocritical lol I’ve heard the same people call Draco a bully (towards Harry) but the whole marauders and Severus thing was simply a rivalry in their eyes

Which makes no sense??? I mean if anything Draco and Harry were rivals, if they’d said that Draco was a bully towards Hermione I’d totally agree but they only mentioned Harry??

[ensnapemysenses]

um i love your work so much would you do remus lupin during the boggart lesson, a slytherin one year younger than him who is sirius black's younger sister, her boggart takes the form of her father and she has a panic attack and while sirius kinda emotionally shuts down and doesn't even talk to his younger sister, remus goes to find her and comfort her the marauders are probably in their 6th or 7th year

Wrote a short little drabble for this below :)

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Hints at abusive parents, panic attacks, anxiety

She stood trembling, her wand wavering in her hand. The boggart in front of her shifting into numerous shapes too quickly for her to pick out until it finally settled on that of a man. One who she should have been able to trust, but instead had done unspeakable things to her. She couldn’t move – couldn’t even breathe – much less utter the spell that would dispel the creature.

“Riddikulus!” she heard Remus shout from behind her, putting an end to her misery.

Sirius’s eyes stayed on the floor as she bolted from the room, tears streaming down her face. Why did the boggart have to take the shape of her father out of all the things that it could have? Why him?

She only made it down a few flights of stairs before the panic attack took hold of her and she collapsed onto the floor. Her chest heaved with the weight of the attack and breathing was nearly impossible as if she was breathing through a straw. She barely felt the slender arms wrap around her, helping her to her feet. 

With her vision blurry from her tears, she let her mysterious savior lead her along to wherever they were taking her. Not too long after, she felt herself being helped carefully into a bed. She assumed she must be in the hospital wing when she was offered a potion. She gulped it down and fell asleep shortly after.

Before she even opened her eyes she felt a comforting yet firm grip on her hand, their thumb rubbing circles on the back of it. Slowly she opened her eyes and they met Remus’s own amber eyes. He quickly retracted his hand seeing that she was awake.

“How are you feeling?” he asked a bit hesitantly. 

“Fine,” she said. 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah… I guess.”

“Ah, I see you’re awake,” the healer said. “Here are some calming potions for you to take for the next few days. You are free to return to your dorm.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Remus replied. “I can walk with you if you want,” he said, diverting his attention back to her after the healer left.

“Sure,” she shrugged, pulling herself from the bed.

They walked in silence for a while until Remus decided that he needed to say something. He wanted to make sure that she knew he was a safe person to talk to.

“I have issues with my parents too,” he muttered, giving her a sideways glance as they walked. His hands were sweating profusely in their balled-up position in his pockets. “I – I have a… a condition… and they…” he sighed, his voice trailing off. “They’ve tried all they can to find something to make it more manageable but they blame themselves. Sometimes they take out that blame on me.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her eyes watering. “That must be really hard.”

“Sirius hasn’t really talked about your parents,” he continued. “I don’t know what goes on in your home, but I just want you to know that I understand and I’m here for you.”

“Thank you, Remus. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem,” he simply said, eyeing the door to the Slytherin dorm unsure of how to tell her goodbye when all he wanted to do was hold her tightly in his arms while she spilled her heart out to him. He wanted to be there for her. He wanted to comfort her and to make her his but he was too cowardly to ever initiate anything.  

“Remus?”

“Yeah?”

“I really mean it when I say thank you.” Remus blushed a bright red which only spread further up his face to his ears at her next words. “Would you like to meet me at the astronomy tower after supper?”

“I… I would,” he stuttered.

“See you then,” she said with a wink.

Remus smiled as he walked away, his heart hammering out of his chest at the thought of spending time alone with her.

[happyyyandcrazyyy]

boggart (remus lupin x reader)

summary: in which (y/n)’s biggest fear is exposed to everyone in class and remus is the one to comfort her.

warnings: mentions of finding a corpse (briefly mentioned) and loss of a sibling.

“Knock it off, Pads,” (Y/N) whispered under her breath, making sure to keep her voice low as to not interrupt the Professor.

Sirius sighed annoyingly and she pinched him on the side— making him hiss in pain —when he tried to tug at her hair again.

He was bored and had resorted to bothering her as a source of entertainment. Usually, he would’ve messed around with James, but he was too busy drooling over Evans to give Sirius any piece of mind.

“The spell on itself isn’t difficult,” the Professor explained, pacing in front of the class. They all stood in a circle around him, trying to catch a glimpse of what laid within the wooden chest behind him. “You must pronounce the following incantation ‘Riddikulus’.” He waited for the class to repeat the spell before continuing, “The difficulty lies within the creature you’re trying to defeat, a Boggart.”

Hushed whispers raised around the room.

They’d done research on this creature two weeks ago (one essay of 2 feet of parchment) and by the looks of it, that being the movement of the wooden chest, they were going to get the opportunity to actually stand before one.

Sirius tried to reach for (Y/N)’s hair once more but she caught his hand and turned to glare at him.

“I will hex you into oblivion, Black.”

She’d used his last name. Sirius knew better than to get on her nerves so he retreated, raising his hands in defeat and pouting.

Remus, who’d been watching them from the corner of his eye, chuckled at the exchange.

Had it been any other subject, (Y/N) would’ve relented and engaged with Sirius in some play fighting, but Defense Against the Dark Arts was her favorite subject (in her humble opinion, it was was also the best), therefore, she never missed a word the Professor said. It wasn’t her favorite just because she was good at it (and she was really good, top of the class good) but because, unlike Divination which was subjective and Ancient Runes which was theoretical, this one was dynamic and applicable to life, especially now with the rising of a new dark wizard.

Somewhere in front the Professor kept on going, “The Boggart, as all of you should know by now, takes form of your biggest fear. It can only be banished by being transformed in something fun, this way the fear is dispelled by the amusement.”

“Is there a Boggart in there, sir?” a voice from the back of the room interrupted.

Everyone looked at the Professor expectantly.

“Yes, Mr. Cresswell.”

Suddenly, Sirius looked more interested.

The excited whispers began again.

“Boggarts like to be in dark places,” the Professor walked backwards towards the chest and tapped it with two fingers.

(Y/N) tried standing on her tippy toes to catch a glimpse.

Noticing the struggle, Remus grabbed her softly by the shoulder and placed her in front of him. From this new position she was able to see through a small gap.

“Thanks,” she mumbled, reaching back to give his hand a gentle squeeze.

The Professor went on to explain that the Boggart would remain in his original form, one that no one had ever seen, while hidden.

“Once that I let it out it’ll assume the shape of the nearest person’s fears. So, I want you to think about your biggest fear and then think about a way to ridicule it. I’ll give you a couple of minutes.”

Her mind immediately started going over ideas. What would her Boggart turn into? What was her biggest fear? She disliked heights, but the Boggart couldn’t truly represent that. Maybe insects? Ugh, how she despised those, they made her skin crawl. She would turn them into confetti, she thought. Harmless and easy.

Content, she finally looked around the room.

Everyone was deep in thought.

By her side, Remus looked pale.

“Hey,” she said softly, taking his hand. “Are you okay?”

He nodded, providing a shaky smile that did nothing to calm her concern.

“It’ll be fine,” she assured him.

Remus didn’t look so sure, but he seemed grateful for her words. He squeezed her hand back.

She made no comment when his hand didn’t leave hers.

“Mr. Black seems especially chatty today.” The Gryffindor boy turned around to meet the professor, sending him a sheepish look. “He’ll go first.”

James Potter laughed at him under his breath, pushing his friend forwards.

“I wouldn’t look so smug, Mr. Potter.” That cut his laughter. “Get your wand ready, you’ll be next.”

In a very immature way, Sirius turned around to poke his tongue out at his best friend who discreetly flipped him off.

Sirius walked towards the center of the class showing no form of hurry. Taking his time, he rolled up his sleeves and took his stance.

“Remember the spell,” the Professor said before unlocking the chest and letting out a dark form that took mere seconds to transform into something else.

And so it began.

As soon as the Boggart became something funny the whole room would laugh and the Professor, with a glint of mirth in his eyes, would name the next person to move forward.

So far, amongst some of the fears that had materialized there’d been a clown, a gigantic man eating slug that took almost half of the space in the classroom and had caused every student to back into each other (Remus had held (Y/N) close to him during that moment) and a tiny dog that would bark endlessly and quite loudly.

“Ms. (Y/L/N).”

Remus let go of her hand and from the corner of her eye she saw Sirius teasingly hit him with his elbow.

She moved forward, still a little bit giggly from seeing the Boggart, which had taken the shape of a shark, struggle as it floated in the air.

All traces of amusement left her face the moment the creature shifted.

She’d foolishly expected her Boggart to take form of one of her many superficial fears, perhaps a large snake or some other rather idiotic thing she disliked. She’d been wrong, so very wrong.

Her brother’s lifeless corpse stood before her, looking as real as the time she’d discovered it, back when she’d been nothing but a child.

Everything around her seemed to disappear, all she could focus on was the image in front of her.

Every emotion she’d felt that day came flooding back. She was frozen in place, filled with a strange sort of mixture between panic and anguish.

Her hand, the one that held her wand, shook. She couldn’t notice it, but her whole body was shaking. Subconsciously and slowly, she lowered her arm, eyes wide in fear and breathing becoming heavier.

Some part of her, maybe the more rational one, tried to take over. She opened her mouth, trying to get the spell to leave her lips, but no sound left. The wound of her past had been reopened and she couldn’t help but stare in horror.

The room had quieted down, or maybe she was just unable to hear anything but the pounding of her heart within her chest. She felt as though it would leave her chest in any minute.

It seemed like an eternity, the time she stood before the Boggart, but it probably wasn’t more than a couple of seconds.

She snapped out of her daze when someone pushed her out of the way. Backing up, eyes still glassy and unfocused, she felt her legs tremble uncontrollably. She would’ve crumbled but something held her up.

The Boggart took the figure of a white orb, the spell was cast, the creature was trapped within the chest once more, her brother’s figure disappeared.

It might’ve been over, but her brain kept on replaying the image in her head.

He looked so real.

He looked so much like her.

He looked so very dead.

“Ms. (Y/L/N)…” The Professor’s voice broke the silence of the room. It also managed to shatter her thoughts.

Slowly, she regained consciousness of her surroundings.

She found herself being held by the shoulders, the person had kept her from collapsing. She didn’t turn— knowing that his face would shown nothing but worry —but she knew from the way the hands held her that it was no other than Sirius Black.

She, then, noticed the looks.

Everyone was looking at her. Some people stared at her with concern, most of them with curiosity.

All those eyes on her.

Panic rose through her belly all the way to her chest.

Out. She needed to get out.

She only caught a brief look at Remus’s concerned glance before she bolted out of the room.

It was only when she found herself alone, able to fully process everything, that the shock and fright became sadness.

Tears began falling.

—————

The class remained quiet for a couple more minutes before the Professor cleared his throat and spoke up.

“That will be it for today.” Everyone turned to look from the door, where (Y/N) had left, back to the Professor. He looked apprehensive. “You are all dismissed.”

Usually, everyone would’ve been excited to get early dismissal, but it seemed as if they were all still quite in shock.

“I’d never seen (Y/L/N) freeze up like that,” a Hufflepuff girl told her friend as they walked out of the room.

“Right,” the friend responded. “Not even when she was attacked by the Kappa last year.”

Remus sighed, eyebrows furrowed in concern. They were right. He hadn’t seen anything upset here to this extent. Ever. And he’d known her for almost seven years now.

“We should look for her, don’t you think?” James said as they left the classroom. He talked in a sober manner and that by itself was an indication of just how worried he was.

“That’ll just make her clam up,” Sirius responded.

He was right, Remus thought to himself. She would plaster a smile on her face and pretend everything was alright.

“One of us should look for her.” He wasn’t proposing, James was stating what they would be doing.

Simultaneously, the other two Marauders turned to look at Remus.

“Why are you looking at me?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck, uncomfortable under their eyes.

James spoke up again, also turning to look at him, “You should be the one to go, Moony.”

Remus hesitated.

It wasn’t as if he wasn’t aching to look for her and make sure that she was alright, because he was. He just didn’t want to invade her privacy.

“If anything I think Sirius should go.”

“Me?” Padfoot asked incredulously while shaking his head.

“You two are the closest.”

“I beg to differ,” James chided in.

“Our friendship isn’t like that,” Sirius explained to him. “(Y/N) won’t talk feelings with me.”

She never had. It took a lot for her to be vulnerable and, although she was close to him, Sirius wasn’t the one she went to when in need to talk personal things.

“You’re her go-to person, Moony.” James confirmed.

Peter nodded his head in agreement.

If they all thought that he was the one who should pursue her, they were probably right.

“I’ll go look for her,” he said with a nod.

They parted ways by the stairs. James and Peter walked ahead after waving goodbye and telling him they would be in the Common Room for when he was done.

Sirius stayed behind for a second just enough to look at Remus and, adjusting (Y/N)’s bag in his shoulder, he said, “Just make sure she’s alright.”

With that he left.

All alone, Remus pondered for a few seconds, wondering where she could’ve gone.

The answer came to him quickly.

He made his way towards the second-floor girls’ lavatory.

—————

Myrtle tended to bother anyone who visited her. She would whine and cry until they left. But, surprisingly, with a single look at (Y/N)’s miserable expression she’d decided to leave the girl alone.

The tears had stopped falling some time back. Now, she just sat on the closed toilet, feeling numb and exhausted.

Her head pounded painfully.

Still, the pain wasn’t enough to keep her mind from flashing the image she’d seen in the classroom and replaying the dreadful childhood memory.

She’d pushed that memory so deep into her mind that reliving it was agonizing.

It’d happened so long ago, and she’d been so young, that the idea that that would appear as her biggest fear hadn’t even crossed her mind.

She sighed shakily, placing her face in her hands.

Not only was there sorrow and melancholy within her chest but also embarrassment.

How was she supposed to show her face again?

The sound of Myrtle’s voice distracted her from her thoughts.

“What are you doing here?” Her tone was emotional and tense. “This is the girls’ bathroom and you are most certainly not a girl.”

“I’m looking for someone,” a familiar voice replied.

“Oh! She’s right there,” Myrtle said, a tad bit more relaxed now that she knew he wasn’t there to torment her. 

She must’ve pointed to where (Y/N) was hiding because footsteps closed in.

With a giggle, Myrtle added, “She looks just as miserable as me.” The comment was followed by a splash. 

(Y/N) wiped her face with her hands as if that would hide away the sadness.

A knock.

“Hey,” Remus said softly.

The gentleness of his tone made her want to burst out crying once more, but she reigned her emotions.

“Hey,” she responded.

Remus noticed the crack of her voice, even when she tried to conceal it with a cough.

“Are you okay?”

Maybe it was a dumb question, she was evidently not okay, but he didn’t know where else to start.

“How did you find me?” she diverted the question because she really didn’t want to lie to him.

“You told me you sometimes came here to hide away.”

She couldn’t recall that moment. It must’ve been a long time ago. It was endearing that he remembered.

“Give me a moment,” she said after a couple of seconds. “I’ll be right out.”

“Take your time.”

The footsteps retreated.

Taking a deep breath, she prepared herself for the look of pity on his face.

After a few seconds of hesitation, she opened the door.

He’d been studying one of the sink taps but turned around to face her the moment he heard her steps.

Instead of pity, (Y/N) found an immense amount of worry in his face.

She felt her throat close up with emotion, lips pressing together.

Remus knew her well enough. He reached forward for her, taking her in his arms just as she started crying.

He held her close, rocking her slowly and rubbing her arms. Eventually, the sobbing quieted down and she mumbled into his shirt an apology.

“It’s okay,” he reassured her, quietly.

After some seconds of silence between them, in which all that could be heard where Myrtle’s moans and laments, Remus spoke again.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Part of her wanted to say no, but there was always a bigger part of her that always word vomited her most private information when around Lupin.

“It was my brother,” she said.

Remus stiffened in confusion.

“I didn’t know you had a brother.”

(Y/N) shook her head, backing away from the embrace. He was still looking down at her with concern, as if waiting for her to fall apart once more and ready to pick up the pieces.

“No one does,” she replied. “Well, no one did.”

Rubbing her eyes, she made her way towards the sink. She fumbled with a tap (which didn’t work) and then switched to the next one, splashing some water in her face, hoping it would make the puffiness of her eyes disappear.

(Looking at herself in the mirror, she realized it hadn’t worked.)

She closed her eyes and sighed. 

“He died when I was really young.”

Remus just remained quiet and listened, not daring to come closer in fear of making her close up.

“He was a Potions Master,” she went on. “He had an office at home where he experimented. I wasn’t allowed to go in because my parents feared I would swallow something I shouldn’t.”

She opened her eyes and saw him looking at her through the reflection of the mirror. She turned around to face him, resting against the white sink.

“I went in one day.”

There was a far away look in her eyes, as if she was reliving the memory.

“And he was lying on the floor, motionless, eyes staring blankly at me.” Her hands shook by her side and she clenched them. “I just remember screaming.”

Her parents had rushed in and, upon seeing the scene, had ushered her out of the room. There was a sense of panic in the air, she could remember that even if at the moment she hadn’t been able to understand it. Then, there was wailing.

“Something went wrong, I don’t know what it was and my parents never spoke about it, but he died that day.” She looked away from Remus’s face, blinking back the tears. “It’s my earliest memory,” (Y/N) admitted mostly to herself.

She caught the look at Remus’s pained expression.

“I’m okay,” she said as she turned back at him, offering him a sad smile. “I hadn’t thought about him in so long and I hadn’t expected it, that’s all.”

But he didn’t seem to believe her and the way he furrowed his eyebrows was a telltale.

He stood there for a second, analyzing her, before his eyes brightened in understanding.

“You blame yourself.”

Had it not been quiet, she would’ve missed the words. He had mumbled it in realization, mostly to himself.

He looked for a reaction and found it in the way she looked away.

How in Merlin’s name had he figured it out so fast?

It had taken her some time to understand the reason the Boggart had taken his form. She’d sat on the closed toilet, tears falling, before remembering her childhood terror. It wasn’t him that she feared, never him (she only ever remembered the good things, like the sound of his smile and the way his fingers would tickle her). It was the feeling of helplessness, of being frozen in terror. Maybe, if she would’ve walked in sooner…

“Why would you blame yourself?” His voice was tender, warm and light.

Remus walked closer and she kept her eyes off him.

“I don’t,” she tried to explain as she kept her eyes on Myrtle’s figure to prevent her eyes from watering once more. “It’s just— When I was a child I used to wonder what would’ve happened if I’d walked in sooner and I…”

But Remus understood.

He always did.

“You fear it happening again,” he said softly, “Being late to save someone.”

When she looked back at him, Remus was standing right in front of her.

With gentle hands— way too gentle for a man who sometimes thought of himself a monster —he cupped her face. His thumbs caressed her cheeks.

“What happened to your brother wasn’t your fault.” It was just then that (Y/N) realized no one had ever told her those words before, not even her parents. “And it’s not your responsibility to save everyone. You can’t bear with all that.”

Those words were enough to make the tightness in her throat disappear.

She went on to grab his wrists, looking up at him.

“Thank you, Remus.”

Never before had she felt so cared for, so understood.

“Anytime,” he replied quietly, placing one of the loose strands of her hair behind her ear.

She never told the rest of the Marauders about her Boggart and neither of them pushed for information. Not even Sirius, who was known for loving to pry into everyone’s business, did anything but taking her into his arms and holding her close.

Neither her nor Remus told them about the chaste kiss they shared that day either.

[thistlecatfics]

For the characters in therapy: hogwarts era sirius, post- first war remus, luna after her mothers death, the twins (are their pranks a coping mechanism?)

omg I love how you gave me so many toughies. thank you!

Hogwarts era Sirius!! 

Honestly part of me is wondering if I should refer him out because I’ve had a crush on this character forever. BUT assuming there’s no serious counter-transference issues. 

He’s not going to engage in therapy. He’s just not. He’s going to treat therapy as a game he can win, and once he realizes he can just… not go he does and doesn’t return. 

Talking to an *adult* about his feelings? Fuck that. 

He’d totally drop out of therapy, and I’d still think about him for years after and worry.

If somehow the stars align, and he stays, and he engages, then I think the work would be around identity formation and identity outside of family and starting to build his own identity outside of his friends as well. 

Also psychoeducation around mood disorders. In the case of the bipolar Sirius headcanon, I'd try very hard to get him referred to a psychiatrist.

He'd honestly be a lot of fun, and he's the type of client I'd want to talk my friends about if I could.

Post-first war Remus!!

This dude in his early 20s who is completely lost and isolated?? Yeah I’m giving my pro-bono spot to him. 

Nothing fancy - just pure unconditional positive regard and a stable presence and an unwillingness to look away from the sheer pain and tragedy. I don’t think we’d ever get to the stability needed for me to feel comfortable doing deeper trauma or grief work with him. It would really just be about the present moment and what’s currently going on in his life.  

Also slowly getting him to be open about his suicidality and being able to just sit with him around that without judgment. We'd do a lot of safety planning. Also crisis skills in general.

He’d totally dip in and out of therapy too, and I’d worry. Every time he reaches out about scheduling sessions again, and I'd sigh in relief that he's not dead.

I'd also need to up my own therapy appointments to weekly when I'm seeing him I think haha. The counter transference would be INTENSE.

Luna after her mother’s death!!

I’d have to refer her out - I don’t work with kids, and I don’t have the training necessary.  

I’d try to give her the warmest handoff though, and I’d be so obsessed with her. 

She’d totally cope using imagination and be really into play therapy and narrative therapy for kids. 

Also working with kids is like 80% working with parents and working with her dad would be such a nightmare lol. (Getting him to bring her to appointments on time oh my goodness.) (He’d absolutely have some sort of new treatment theory every week and want to mess with the work.) 

The twins as teenagers!!

Oh my goodness - they’d be absolute nightmares and would absolutely try to play pranks on the therapist.

I’d probably have to refer them out – I think they’d do well with a skilled and creative couple’s therapist that works with them both as a team and as individuals in separate sessions who can help them figure out their own identities without belittling how important being together is. 

Also a lot of family of origin work – roles they play in the family, how does that feel, attention seeking etc. 

Good luck to the therapist who tries to do a family session with the Weasleys. It’s not going to be me!

[fieldofdaisiies]

older Sirius Black x fem. Reader | Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy

type: fluff

warning(s): curse words, making out, suggestive, age gap

word count: 2079

summary: you are a colleague of Tonks and she brings you along to an Order meeting where you immediately catch Sirius Black’s eye

*all rights reserved*

———

“I believe Fudge has a little crush on you.” Tonks chuckled to which you immediately slapped her arm — harsh and with an audible smack. “Shut up, he just gave me a new office.”

“A fucking brand new office which a fucking floor-to-ceiling window that overlooks the ministry hall.” When you were on the verge of answering, the door flung open revealing now other than the `ex-convict` Sirius Black. No, he was no convict, but….your family always told you so, so you were kind of biased.

“Mind your tongue cousin,” he greeted the two of you, his toothy grin sending an oddly tingly feeling through your body. You dipped your chin, mumbling your name under your breath. 

“She works with me at the ministry….we shared an office until Fudgy upgraded her.”

“Is that so?” Sirius chuckled, a sly smile on his lips while he let you both enter. “So, that is where you live?” you asked, waddling past Black, accidentally taking in his scent which….Godrick, which smelled like heaven. He smelled like heaven. Tangy, musky and smoky…but there was also something sweet and maybe — 

Godrick…have you been staring at him?

Yes, you definitely have. And it definitely did not unnoticed by him, chuckling lowly at you. He was really easy on the eyes and had definitely been a ladies` men in his school days. Damn your preference for older men. How much older was he actually? Probably around ten years. And you were doing it again. Staring. Telling your traitorous heart and brain to finally shut up, you immediately turned away from him.

You practically felt the heat shoot into your cheeks, quickly hurdling after Tonks who was already engaged in a rather one-sided conversation with…Remus Lupin you assumed. Tonks had told her about him. Many things which made you conclude she had a terribly crush on him. 

A few days ago Dora had already already introduced you to Alastor Moody and he offered you a position in the Order. You obviously agreed and were now more than excited to get to know them all and become an official member of the Order. 

“Let me introduce to you our newest member, Y/N Y/L/N. She will be joining in from today on, is an excellent Auror and has graduated with flying grades from Hogwarts.” The deep blush staining your cheeks intensified even more, while you forced a grin on your lips, fumbling with the skin around your nails. Uncomfortable. At least eight pairs of eyes now examined and someone‘s shoulder and hip brushed you when they passed. Not someone —Sirius. Was that on purpose? Nah, probably not. Probably you were the same fool as Dora, admiring older men who probably regarded you as some immature, young adult. 

And when sitting down, lucky you, the only empty space was next to Sirius Black himself. You tried to sit down casually, grabbing the glass of wine in your hand and momentarily deliberating if you should shoot the whole thing down in one. It was what you could have needed after this whole exhausting day.

“So you are an Auror as well, did I get that right?” Nearly chocking on the gulp of wine you had just taken, you turned towards Sirius, nodding. “Yes, exactly. Right after Hogwarts I had a few other things in mind but…but my father was an Auror as well and so was his father and yeah, he retired and said there would now be a free place for me, so I decided to also go for this job.”

“Quite honorable. I believe it is quite an exhausting job with a lot of responsibility?”

“It is alright. I love doing it, so it is fine.” you told him, smiling and feeling the heat creep into your cheeks. Godrick? You were just talking, why the hell did you start blushing?

“Change of topic, how is it here? Do you feel alright?”

Taken slightly by surprise about this question, Sirius bowed his head. “It is yes. I am bit lonely from time to time, but that’s just how it is.” “Maybe I have to pay you a visit more often from now on?”

Sirius’s grin mirrored yours before Alastor snapped you back to reality and to talking about Order business. Yes, you would definitely do that: pay him more visits from now on.

~ 2 weeks later ~

"Hi, hi!“ you greeted, storming into the living room where you expected Sirius to be. And he was there, lounging on a sofa, reading. Dropping his book, he grinned but simultaneously gave you an irritated look. „What brings you here, love?“

"I finished work early and thought why not pay you a visit.“ Had you worked extra fast and hard just so that you could leave earlier and use it as an excuse to come here? Absolutely, but he did not have to know that. 

"Aaand I brought us food, so we can have dinner together and then I brought a little surprise but more about that later.“ You told him, approaching the sofa with fast steps and bracing your hands on it. "Or are you not hungry?“

"I am starving…but slightly perplexed about you doing all of this for someone like me?“

"Right? You are after all an ex-convict and oh so dangerous criminal.“ you chuckled when he finally got up. A smirk appeared on his face while he slowly approached you, stopping only mere inches in front of you. You could feel his breath on your skin. Grinning, you looked up at him. 

"You have quite a cruel mouth, my love. I hope you know that.“ Your grin only widened while your heart did one flop after the other. One could practically cut the tension with a knife. You knew it was quite obvious you wanted him, but his signs were…confusing. One day he acted like that. Another day he completely ignored you. If you only moved your head a bit, you could kiss him, but—

"Shall we eat?“ Sirius snapped you out of your thoughts and internally you face-palmed yourself. Obviously he was not thinking about kissing you right then. FoolFoolFool.

"Sure.“ you mumbled, turning on your heel and waddling in front of him to the kitchen. What you did not know was that you were completely wrong. He had wanted to kiss you, he was just as unsure as you were. He was hiding in his mother‘s old house, was believed an ex-convict and you were…amazing, brilliant, young and kind. You were in your twenties and had your whole life in front of you. He would just be a burden on your way. 

After enjoying an absolutely delicious meal which you had brought from Diagon Alley, and maybe drinking one too many glasses of wine while talking about literally everything and anything you decided to sit down at the couch to continue talking there. 

"And there is something else I brought you." you squealed, promptly standing from the couch but before disappearing out into the corridor you spun around and said, "Close your eyes. If I return and they are open, I will fire every possible curse at you and will be so very disappointed." Laughing wickedly, you left an irritated looking Sirius behind, quickly grabbing your bag and returning to the living room.

He really had his eyes closed, smirking and said: "I am waiting."

"Patience or is that already difficult at your old age?"

"I hope you know that you are a little minx. I am not that much older than you." Well, ten years it was, so you assumed you were allowed to make age shaming jokes.

You heard him snort while you sat down on the couch next to him, pulling the boxes with ice cream out of your bag and placing them on the table. A spoon followed and you opened the boxes, utterly surprised that he really kept his eyes closed. 

„Now….open your mouth…Ugh, just do it.“ You murmured and slowly he opened his mouth, parting his lips on slightly. Moving your arm up and moving your other hand over his eyes you shoved the spoon into his mouth. A low moan left his throat and he swallowed. 

“Ice cream?“

“Yes. From Florean Fortescue‘s Ice Cream Parlour. I thought you might like it and haven’t had ice cream in a while. But keep your eyes closed.“ Smiling, he nodded, complying to your request and letting you give him another scoop of ice cream. Chocolate, this time.

“What does it taste like?“ you questioned, moving closer to him on the sofa, your knee brushing his. “Chocolate?“ 

“Yes, and this?“

 Another one of strawberry followed which he also guessed right and then…then you decided to be brave and bold. Grabbing the empty spoon in your hand, you lowered your hand and slowly leaned forward, his eyes closed and lips still parted. In the next moment you placed your lips on his lower lip, your tongue slowly licking over the rest of ice cream that was still there. 

“And that?“ you whispered, your lips only mere inches away from his. He slowly blinked his eyes open, gazing down to your lips and up to your eyes again.

“That tasted like heaven!“ A grin spread over your face, your cheeks heating up.

“Want more of it?“ He nodded, smiling but soon your lips were on his again, moving in perfect sync with his. This was…it was indescribable. A million of butterflies exploded in your stomach, while you leaned closer to him, slowly letting your tongue trace over the seam of his lips. 

“Are you sure you want this?” he asked, momentarily pulling back and leaving you with a pout on your face. “Ahm, yes? I wouldn’t have kissed you if I did not want it?” you mumbled, taking his hand in yours and smiling at him.

“But I am-“

“Amazing, kind, super hot and very handsome?” you chuckled when a big grin spread over his face. “Doubtful, but if you say so.” 

“I say so and since I say so it is right. Now…no more speaking but kissing.”

This time he let you slip your tongue into his mouth. Climbing onto his lap, you dropped the spoon and curled your arms behind his back. He seemed hesitant about what to do with his hands, sometimes squeezing your waist, then moving lower to your hip and up again. Giggling you only moved an inch back, your lips still ever so slightly brushing his. 

“You are allowed to touch my butt.” He needed nothing more than to hear that, lowering his arms, his hands perfectly cupped your bum, massaging. You couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped your throat when you started moving from his lip to his jaw, nipping on the skin. He groaned deeply while you started to slowly grind onto him and already noticed the growing bulge under you.

“Mhm, we might have to stop now. I…I haven't done this, or something like this in so long. In all honesty if you keep going like this I will spill into my pants, my love.” he whispered, now leaning fully back, pupils dilated and looking into your face through lowered lashes. You bit your lip, crinkling your nose while letting one hand travel up his torso.

“Then I suggest we go upstairs, shall we?“  His eyes went wide while he gave you an incredulous look. “You really want this? You really want this with someone like me?”

“Yes. I want you. I have no idea why it is so hard for you to believe, but I want you. Now.” You stood up, smoothing down your dress, your gaze momentarily lingering in his crotch. A smile spread over your face when you lifted your gaze towards his and extended your hand. 

“Well, if it is really what you want then let’s go upstairs!“ he chuckled, finally grabbing you hand. Grinning, you nodded and said: “I want you, Sirius.“ 

And with that being said you wasted no more second, hurdling upstairs and moments later finding yourself tangled in the sheets.