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anxiousnerdwritings · 3 days

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Yandere Wanda Maximoff Headcanons (platonic-ish)

She doesn’t quite know when or how it happened but somehow her darling came into her life, even after everything. Wanda hadn’t thought she’d ever grow close to someone again, she never thought she’d end up gaining a friend after all the loses she’s had to endure. She didn’t even really know how much she desperately craved having a friend until she had you.

Wanda tries not to come off clingy, she doesn’t want to risk you pulling away because of it. She really doesn’t know what to do with herself when it comes to being around you. She doesn’t want to do anything to ruin the wonderful thing she’s been gifted. It would really take for you to be the one to instigate showing her even the slightest bit of affection or just the smallest amount of physical contact for her to allow herself to feel like she can do the same to you now. And now that she can she can’t help herself, she just wants to give all the love and affection she can muster. She never wants you to feel like you’re going without, no matter how small it may be.

Wanda knows what it’s like to be touch starved and lonely, she would make it her purpose to ensure you don’t ever have to feel that way. That you never have to go without or question whether you even deserve any form of affection to begin with.

Wanda would do her best to appeal more to you, she doesn’t only want to be what you need but what you would want too. She would adopt whatever trait or habit you seem to be drawn to if only to ensure her place in your life.

You would never have to ask for anything with Wanda. Except maybe some space and privacy, even then you’re most likely to never really get any again after she’s come into your life, but other than that your needs are all met and more. The thing about Wanda is that she puts her all into everything. Your care is her utmost priority, even if she believes you need more than you actually do. Wanda is a nurturer and in her mind you came in to her life when she had nothing at all, when she was completely lost. You saved her, you brought some meaning to her life again and she wants to repay you by taking care of you, by becoming something similar to what you’ve become to her.

She’s lost so much. All she’s ever wanted was something she could hold onto and love. Now she has you to do just that. She finally has something, someone to give her love and attention to, to hold in her embrace once more. And Wanda is not going to lose you, not after everything else she’s had taken away from her.

I think given everything that Wanda’s been through, everyone she’s had torn away from her, I could see her platonic and romantic feelings kind of mixing together. Her darling starts out being strictly platonic until she delves deeper into her obsession and the boundaries of her affections begins to blur together at some point. Her darling has inevitably become her everything so there for she in turn gives them her all, her everything.

Wanda would be extremely fragile in more ways than one. After everything she’s been through it’s to be expected. She’s really tried taking in and living as normally as she could after you came into her life but there’s only so much she can take. Having to watch her darling interact with others on a daily basis it really starts to stir something deep inside her, something very possessive.

It really wouldn’t take much for her to come to the conclusion of taking you away from the life you’ve known and bringing you into her new world, an entire place she’s made just for the two of you. She’s spent a lot of time working on it, not to mention she’s learned from the Westview situation too so it’s entirely secluded without anyone else having to be or ending up thrown into like before. It’s strictly just you and Wanda.

Wanda wouldn’t be able to handle any animosity or resentment from you. Any kind of negative response would just break her all the more. She’s trying her best, can’t you see that? Can’t you just be good and give in to the world she’s created for you? This is all for you after all, just a world meant for you and her to be together in with no interruptions or obstacles. In this life, you two are the only one either of you can truly depend on in her mind.

You may not see it, yet, but you need her and she needs you more than anything else. You’re her last shred of being able to experience the life she’s always wanted, her last hope for normalcy, even if your situation isn’t exactly ‘normal’. She doesn’t even know she’s doing it but she’s putting her everything onto you, plunging you into her darkness along with her, unconsciously. If she knew what she was doing she would hate herself all the more for it and try to protect you from herself but at this point she just can’t see it. And honestly she doesn’t want to see it. Any of it. As far as she’s concerned this is fine, everything is fine and if it’s not then she’ll make it that way.

Her overprotectiveness is out of this world, especially at this point in time. She’s lost so much, has had so much ripped away from her but she won’t let it happen again. Not with you. You’re her last chance, her last bit of sanity clinging on still, if she loses you too then what’s the point to anything anymore. What’s the point to anyone getting to be happy if not even she can experience her own shred of happiness. Why should she be the only one to suffer? There was a time where she would gladly take on any suffering to protect others from ever having to experience it themself but now it’s all she knows and she desperately wants it to end. Wanda just wants to be happy and you’re her new found happiness so you can imagine how far she’d go to protect you, ensuring you stay by her side.

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dreaming-of-the-reality · 2 days

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Do you guys think that the narrative about Aegon being in the child fighting pits is true? Genuine question.

In episode 9, I feel like the writers put in the whole “find Aegon scene” to hint that no one cares enough to know where Aegon goes on a day to day basis. The fact both parties spent the whole day trying to find him suggests they don’t actually know him well enough.

Ser Arryk claims the fighting pits is where Aegon goes, but yet when Otto approaches him and asks where Aegon is that day, he shrugs and says that Aegon commanded him to stay - which I’m going to take a guess and say this is something that happens often.

Ser Arryk claims that Aegon spends many nights watching the fights hence the reason they go there to find him, but he’s not there. So did Arryk really SEE Aegon there? Or did he just assume that’s where he spent his time?

Mysaria hides Aegon as sort of a favour to negotiate with Otto to put an end to the fighting pits… but if Aegon frequently went there, why would she help him?

Aegon also doesn’t seem to be the type that gets excited and hyped at the thought of violence. In episode 8, when Daemon slices Vaemonds head off, he just kind of frowns and grimaces at the blood. Apart from the Dyana scene - which I would say is the product of his own environment yet no less wrong or disgusting - he’s never committed or been seen enjoying violence at all.

As for the bastard with white hair… I’ve been hearing a lot of theories that this could also actually be Daemons bastard and not Aegons.

He frequented the brothels more than Aegon and it would be highly likely that he would have bastards too. We know from the books and the show that Daemon preferred virgins, and ones with silver hair too.

Mysaria also tells him in the first episode: “I could bring in a maiden, perhaps another, I could even arrange one with silver hair” - this suggests that the royal family are not the only people with white hair in the whole of kingslanding. I’m sure that a few bastards are roaming the streets sired from years of Targaryens dabbling in brothels.

This child could be Daemons with another woman, Daemons with a silver haired maiden, it could be a child born by someone else that is a bastard of the Targaryen’s.

But let me know your thoughts. If you have something that combats this thought entirely, maybe like a line where he admits it or something else please share. Please remember I try my hardest not to reference the book in my posts because they are two different things so if your ‘evidence’ is entirely based on the book, please don’t share in reference to this post lol.

#aegon ii targaryen #king aegon #hotd thoughts #hotd season 1 #house of the dragon #game of thrones #house targaryen #team green #daemon targeryan #hotd

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gleefullypolin · 21 hours

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Stacy's Tipsy Musing's - Colin Bridgerton Hot Takes - Part 4

Ok boys and girls, we need to have a little chat about Colin Bridgerton.

Part 2 has been out now for a couple of days and there have been a lot of hot takes to come out of the season. A LOT of hot takes. I’m going to break this down into 4 parts. 4 questions that I'm seeing really bad hot takes about Colin.

Now none of this is new, I gotta say before Season 3 aired Colin was a hot button topic anyway. He seemed to be the Bridgerton brother that lots of people love to spew hate takes on anyway. But damn I gotta say its painful seeing the Polin fandom have so many bad takes falling from their lips.

So, I figured...having a little drink tonight, sitting down for Father’s Day (Happy Father’s Day, Colin) I’d give you the opinion on some of these takes that you didn’t ask for...Mine!

Last time we talked about Colin’s entrapment statement to Pen and if he truly meant it. Question 1, Question 2, Question 3, now lets get to Question 4:

How could Colin refuse to listen to Pen and just jump in to fix the situation with Cressida?

Colin “Hero Complex” Bridgerton to the rescue! This one is the easiest to answer because it has been coded throughout all 3 seasons to his character.

Season 1: Needed to save Marina from ruin. Even after finding out that she lied to him, tricked him, was pregnant with another man’s child, he STILL would have married her if she had told him she loved him. Like the boy had hero written on his chest and wanted to rip his shirt and fly into the sky to save her. He was the star of his own action story until it all came crashing to the ground the moment the damsel told him she didn’t love him. She thought him a foolish child.

Season 2: We have a couple of hero moments in season 2. He’s still stuck on there being a chance at redeeming himself at saving Marina, visiting her to see if she is happy, if there is anything he could have done differently for her. And once again he is told to stop living in a fairytale. The damsel is not in distress.

Our second hero moment comes in Jack Featherington. This time he gets to be the hero; he saves the ladies Featherington from his schemes. He proves him to be a fraud and runs him out of town. He has no idea that Portia is actually in on the scheme or that it has put the Featherington house into its own ruin at this point, but he rushes in to save the day without thinking ahead of anything else. Damsels in distress, Colin to the rescue.

Season 3: Ok, Pen needs to find a husband, Colin to the rescue. Balloon in Pen's path, Colin to the rescue. Pen is in danger, the Queen has advanced on her, and now Cressida is threatening. Colin does not even hear Pen the moment she speaks, all he hears is danger and he begins to act. His wife is in danger, and he will protect her. Hero mode activated. Again, Colin does not think ahead, he only thinks that his purpose is to protect. So he does not stop to listen to reason, he doesn’t hear Pen’s words or even sense, he just takes action.

The action at hand was apparently to go have a therapy session with Cressida Cowper, because that is what he did. A passionate plea with a woman who had no empathy. It was one of the best scenes however, because it was interesting to me that Colin was unable to tell Pen how he was feeling, but he opened up to Cressida and spilled his thoughts. Why? Because he did not care about her judgement, he did not care about her feelings toward him.

He admitted to feeling loss when Pen did not respond to his letters, he admitted to becoming a fraud, a shell, a person who closed himself off to feelings because he lost the person who opened him up to that piece of himself. He spoke of Pen’s treatment, he also tried to separate her once again from Lady Whistledown as if Pen was simply working for the woman and not actually the person holding the quill.

But Cressida was quick to pass her judgment, she clocked his jealousy immediately. He tried to appeal to her about love, family, fairness, and loneliness. Things he incorrectly assumed she would understand, but Colin, just like Eloise, is a sheltered Bridgerton’s who do not always understand how lucky they are, and he misjudged her reaction.

And our hero returned defeated by our villain. He faced the consequences of rushing in without listening to his wife. She thanked him for his counsel and his heart sank. Once again, the damsel did not need him. Once again, his purpose was gone.

It is only when she tells him she does not need him to be her hero, she simply needs him by her side that he understands his purpose. He doesn’t need to rush in to be her hero. He simply needs to love her. Sometimes the damsel saves herself. Colin truly is that wonderful romance hero I dream of.

Stick around for a bonus question....

I can’t believe Colin was going to just take 20,000 pounds from the Bridgerton funds, he doesn’t even have a job to take money from the family?

#bridgerton spoilers #polin #bridgerton s3 #bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #colin bridgerton #i will never hate you #stacy's tipsy musings #hot takes

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penelope-potter · 2 days

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Your Part Of The Deal~

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Pairing: Alastor X Fem! Owl Hybrid! Reader

Summary: You and Alastor made out a deal in a tricky situation. Now you have to keep your part of the deal...

Continuation from the first story; 'Small Box'

Warnings: No one

Here's Part 1

♥♥♥

The morning 'sun' of hell shined through the curtains of your room. Reddish, orange light fell on the floor and on the side of your bed enough for you to open your eyes and to yawn.

You needed a few seconds to put the pieces back together because something felt strange about this day. It was the second you brushed your fingers over your lips as it hit you. You almost jumped out of the bed instantly as your mind brought you back to the very moment of yesterday where you and Alastor were trapped into Charlie's old closet. The deal. The kiss.

Fuck. The kiss...

You brushed your finger over your lips again and your heart started to beat as fast as it could this early.

You sat back on the edge of your bed as your memories of yesterday came back. The group found you two inside the old thing. Charlie agitated you two were trapped in it, Angel laughing his ass off, Husk giving you a kind of terrifying look. Nifty only caring about the mess you two brought with you and Vaggie ready to rip Alastor's body up every second. You instantly excused yourself and told her to fix it tomorrow before you almost tripped over your feet to run away from this situation. Freaking idiot!

You cursed yourself as you stood up and closed your eyes again. How stupid it was to actually make a deal with him, even if you never wanted to. He said he didn't owned your soul but why was this green light present, which was always present when he was about to take someone's soul?

The thoughts swirled in your head so long that only the light knocking of someone outside of your door could bring you back.

"(Y/N)? Is everything alright? Can I come in?"

Charlie.

You exhaled.

"Yes."

You fell back on your sheets as you could hear her coming in.

"Uhm well...h-how did you sleep? You seemed so...turned upside down yesterday-"

"I made a mistake."

You got up, looking at her. She blinked in surprise but smiled carefully.

"But why? Is it because of the closet? Well because-"

"No it's not about that..."

You started, and ran your fingers through your hair.

"I- I made a deal with Alastor...as we were- as we were stuck in the closet. It was a bad idea really. He said he didn't own my soul but I think he still do somehow...I- I trusted him but I don't know if I can really trust him after all."

You said breathlessly.

"What do I do now?"

Charlie looked at you with wide eyes and worry. She placed herself next to you and layed a hand on your shoulder.

"Well, I made a deal with him too and he said I still own mine, so I think there are other ways to make a deal with someone and to give them something other than your soul."

Her calming voice calmed you down a bit, but your heart still pondered inside your chest. There wasn't really something you could to about it, could you?

"Okay...okay thank you- Charlie."

You said smiling with all the force you could bring up now. She scanned your face with worry, obviously not believing you a single word.

"(Y/N), I think you are not okay with all of this..."

She started.

"You can tell me what's wrong you know. I love you guys- all of you, including you. We are friends and you helped me a lot too with my problems..."

She said, sheepingly looking to the side before turning to you again.

You inhaled first before telling her about your deal with Alastor. Charlie as she was- already with a high pitched voice and her fists up in the air.

"Aww how cute! I always knew there was something with you two!"

"Shhh not so loud!"

You shushed her and looked around as if you could sense it that way if someone is hearing too.

"Okay, I will not talk to anybody about this, promised!"

Her grin absolutely wide, she holds up her left hand and the other over her chest.

You laughed a bit.

"Alright, and could you maybe hold the others back in their place? I don't even want to take one step outside because everyone will tease me about this. Not to speak of Alastor."

Your face grew red.

"Shit, how should I act now? I messed this all up before what the fuck should I do now?"

Charlie laughed a bit.

"Well you can start by keeping your promise. You know- touch him and stuff."

She barely couldn't hide her smile and as you told her to stop she just screamed in your ear that she couldn't help herself.

You took an incredible long time to change and an even longer time to actually go through your door.

You ignored the laugh of Angel as he came out of his room himself and you also ignored the look everyone else gave you. You were just glad to not spot Alastor around and you already sighed in relief as you found him in the kitchen. The air smelled like coffee and toast and you froze in place. It came you in mind that you never really thought about how to start a conversation with him. You only thought about how to act around him. He sang along a tune from his cane, which leaned

against the kitchen counter. His sleeved were rolled up, exposing his arms till his elbows.

Shit, do something before the others come in!

You slapped yourself as you slowly made your way to the deer demon, whose ears peaked up by the sound of your footsteps. The second his head turned to you, you instantly forgot everything you made up five minutes ago.

"Good morning dearest!"

He happily sung, his smile impossible wide this time.

"Good morning... Al."

You said and hoped he accepted the nickname as well. His eyes glimmered as he bend down to you.

"Still flustered hmm? Well, I didn't changed my mind- it is still a delighting view~"

You pressed your lips together as you could hear the footsteps of Husk and Angel and the chatting which grew louder with each step.

If you didn't do something now, you won't do it for the rest of the day- you thought to yourself as you smiled and tried to appear calm as you brought all your courage you ever had in your soul together and placed your hand on his shoulder blade. He flinched by the sudden feeling of your touch and you also jumped a little but hide it as you leaned in too.

"Old tease. Tell me how to make myself useful and how to handle the torture the rest of us will give us in five seconds, rather than making fun of me will you?"

You hand slides back and forth for about one second before you pulled back. The shiver in your whole body was strangely a good feeling. He only stared at you, in completely shook. Shook that you actually keep your part of the deal. It was what he wanted, and the sudden burst of emotion flooding through his stomach felt strange. Unfamiliar. But not bad. Not bad like the touches he received before and which made him disliking them so much. No, from you it was different. It was different yesterday as you lied on him and he could hold your warm body against his. It was different now, the frame of your face so close to his and your fingers seemingly tried to burn through the fabric right to his cold skin.

He even felt a bit frustrated that it ended so quickly, but he set the rules himself. He'll just have to wait a few days, because now he's sure that you'll keep your promise.

"You are right darling...how about you pass me the salt would you?"

He answered to your question he almost forgot, and caught himself shaking as he reached for the salt you gave him. What was this now? The sudden burst of your confidence in combination with such a mundane touch almost brought him to his knees, when you lied on him yesterday for longer than just two seconds.

Oh in which game he got himself into?

Each day you grew more confident.

Yes you even looked forward to each morning and your little ritual. The others simply lost interest in teasing you all and each time and just continued to stare at you two acting almost like a couple each day.

"What's wrong with them?"

Angel asked and sipped his coffee, his eyes never leaving you two. Today was day 8 so one day more than a week. You had to come up with a new place to touch him without it turning out weird, because you already took every spot of his back, his shoulders and his arms. Even his hands you brushed yesterday which brought Alastor to almost choke on his coffee. His hands were slender, felt defined and his sharp claws brought shivers down your spine by just thinking of how they felt on your back earlier.

"I don't know, but I'm too sober for this shit."

Husk answered and bites in his toast.

Today you scanned over him a while because you searched for a spot to not make him feel weird so he just raised an eyebrow.

"Hm, what's the matter dear? Lost track?"

He asked, you laughed.

"No, just trying to find a spot..."

You said in a concentrated way and he chuckled.

"Go ahead dear. Surprise me."

You titled your head, because there was a spot you wanted to touch since day one you came into the hotel.

"Everything is fine with me. No matter what you do, I'll have to keep my part of the deal~"

He sung and you grinned to yourself as you nodded.

"Alright."

You watched him placing some eggs on the plate, and raising your hand to his head. You were excited as him as you gentle stroke his undercut, the short hair a bit itchy. He stiffed up and you flinched back a little, only for him to raise his finger and looking at you.

"Oh what was that? You know the rules, the time has to increase..."

In his eyes were something that was very much different from his usual look. It was filled with some kind of attachment, desire. You got lost in his eyes and just started to caress the back of his head, up to his longer hair and grew even this brave to touch his ears slightly. They shudder by your touch and his whole head flinched a bit as he turned his whole body in your direction.

You slowly stopped your movement and stared at him. Suddenly the worry of him already owning your soul grew more present than ever before.

"Is- is everything alright-"

He bend down at you, your heart racing in your chest, as you looked slightly sideways to the other pair sitting there and staring holes into your bodies.

You flinched as he suddenly took your wrist which was still hovering above his hair and a sudden swirl of black magic gulped you two.

You appeared into his radio tower as you opened your eyes again.

You looked around confused as you turned your head but he already pulling you closer to him so that your bodies crashed together.

Your eyes grew wide as you stared at him.

"Did- Did I do anything wrong? You said you were okay with-"

"Would- would you please be quiet for a moment...?"

His eyes couldn't decide where to look at so he just let go of you suddenly.

You watched him as he paced up and down the room, his expression almost painful.

"Alastor?"

You asked and worry flooded your gaze.

"I- I think I've made a mistake dear..."

You looked confused as he turned his gaze to you, his eyebrows itched together and his smile more forced than anything else.

"Why?"

"Because-"

He let out breathless.

"Because I'm feeling things I should not feel. I don't know how to process this attachment."

He run his fingers through his hair, in a possessive way rubbing a spot up and down as he continued walking forth and back.

"It's okay we can stop if it's making you feel uncomfortable-"

"No you don't understand, d-dearest..."

He calmed his already raising voice and his breathing grew more and more desperate.

"I grew fond of this, but- but this can't happen..."

He grew silent as he stopped his rubbing and looked at the tufts of hair in his hand.

"Alastor what are you doing!"

You said outraged as you walked to him, taking his hand into yours.

"Stop it! Please will you?"

You begged, looking at him with such a worry in your eyes it’s making him sick.

"It calms me."

He didn't knew why he told you that. It was a thing he kept to himself. You gently shook your head.

"Well it's a bad habit. Tell me what's going on inside of you and we can try to fix that."

You said, holding his hand with your both, looking at him pleading.

"I can't-"

"Yes you can, tell me how you feel."

The calming in your voice soothed him enough to do as you said.

"I want your touch. Every time it happens- it's not enough..."

He breathed out.

"I...I want you (Y/N). More than I've ever wanted something in my life. You are so kind to everyone. Even to me..."

He laughed awkwardly as he looked down at your hands.

"Even to me... you try to fix me when there is nothing left to fix-"

"Don't say that."

You stepped closer to him, the heat growing inside of him.

"You are important to me. And we can make this work. Whatever...this is between us."

You said, smiling slightly.

"We can take baby steps if you like. When it's the thing you want too..."

Overwhelmed by your kindness his legs started shaking, so he lost balance. You catched him, as he hugged you deeply. You blinked and hugged him back, slowly sliding to the ground for you two to sit.

"You are afraid of me. This can't work."

You heard him mutter into your neck.

"No Al. I never was afraid of you. I simply didn't know how to interact with you because I didn't wanted to to something wrong..."

He breathed out and you could feel him still shaking, his hands grabbing you like his life would depend on it.

"You could never accept the monster I am. I did terrible things I'm not even able to tell you-"

"Well isn't it the reason why we are here?"

You said, rubbing circles on his back.

"This place is all about second chances. If you can life with them it's alright. If not, I'll be with you even when all of hell itself is already redeemed. I will still be by your side. I would go everywhere with you but we don't have to take this so big right now. Let's concentrate on this thing between us first alright? Tell me every terrible thing you ever did and let me love you anyway. Will you?"

He let go of you a bit to look at you, a single tear flooding his view. You wiped it off and gently stroke over his features.

"It's okay. You are okay. We'll be okay."

He looked at you as if he would try to figure out if you saying the truth.

"Do you want to try it?"

You asked.

"Yes. Sweetest."

You chuckled.

"There you are."

You smiled, wiping a strand of his torn up hair in place.

"You showed me the real you. Thank you for trusting me."

You leaned your forehead against his.

"We can make this work. We make a deal remember?"

You stroke his neck in hopes to calm him with that. You were shocked but touched. He showed you the real side of him. He must be honest with you.

"I want to try it."

The static of his voice completely gone. You smiled.

"Great."

You smiled, as he looked at your lips.

"Well...since I've touched you the whole time and you did nothing I...guess now it's your turn."

You said grinning, he confused.

"This wasn't our deal..."

"Oh come on now, you are the big scary radio demon. You can bend your own rules."

You winked at him and his casual expression came back.

"I guess you are right...you teased me every day I think I have to repay you for that..."

You smiled and bend forward.

"Go ahead."

The second you spoke it out, he grabbed your face and kissed you deeply. His hands exploring every inch of your body while you did the same. He moaned into the kiss and you smiled as you caress the spot where he pulled his hair out to soothe the pain it must bring with it.

You both pulled back panting.

"Thank you dearest."

"Don't."

You said, smiling.

"You started this so I have to thank you."

You pushed him slightly backwards so he dropped on the floor, as you placed yourself on top of him.

"We will figure this out together."

You said, entangle your hands together.

"Yes..."

He answered.

"Of course we will.~"

~~~~~~~~~

There you are! I got so motivated I wrote this down in one :))

Also tagging this sweeto who requested a part 2 <3

@docvar3n

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor x reader #fanfiction #penelope write's #alastor x you #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you

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shino-mina-324 · 3 days

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Don’t Leave Me Too

Pairing: platonic!yandere! Muichiro x mother figure! reader

GN!

Summary: You care for him like a son and treated like so, but he was darker than you thought her was. How far will you get before he finds you after escaping the estate?

Warning: blood, kidnapping, clingy Muichiro, trauma, abandonment issues, etc

A/N: Believe it or not but this is actually my first time writing yandere! I don't think its entirely good but I'm pretty proud of it for my first try. I hope you all like it, please give me your feedback!

You stumbled through the snow, shivering at the stinging cold. How long have you been trapped in there? You couldn’t tell. Your feet felt like they were going to freeze off, after all you were barefoot. You didn’t have time to go grab shoes when your escape was right there.

How did you even get into this situation? You squeezed your eyes shut at the memories.

You had met him during a mission. You were assigned to work with a hashira in this mission, apparently strong enough to need a hashira and one other but not enough to require two hashira. You were nervous, so nervous. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of a hashira! But then you saw him, a short boy with long hair. He looked no older than fourteen. It had always broke your heart how such young kids were becoming demon slayers and what they go through. But to see a fourteen year old having gone through that and train hard enough to become a hashira so quickly just made it worse.

You didn’t let that show though, either way he was still your superior. In the down moments when you weren’t actively working you'd talk to him in a kind motherly manner, not in a belittling way but in a sweet way. He would look at you with a tilted head and sometimes narrowed eyes, annoyed maybe, but wouldn’t say anything. But when working you would treat him like any other superior.

Then after the mission was over you decided to get some breakfast and invited him as well. He accepted but didn’t talk much. Then you went your separate ways. But then you got another mission with him, then another, and another. Every time you would treat him the same way. Once you even gave him a head pat, you didn’t do it on purpose. Your hand kinda moved before you could think about it.

“Don’t touch me.” He gave you the coldest glare you had ever felt. You felt immediate shame fill your body and soon excused yourself. You never tried that again after that. Always kept your distance too, in case of accidentally touching him while walking. He didn’t seem to notice, if anything he seemed more pleased.

Then he went on a mission somewhere else. Not unusual. But the next time you saw him he was… different. His eyes were more clear and when he saw you a smile immediately crossed his face and he ran towards you. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a tight hug, his face in your neck. You tensed at the contact, not used to it coming from him.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I treated you like that.” He kept repeating, talking into your neck. Slowly, cautiously, you wrapped your arms around him loosely. But that’s all. He melted into it further though, like it meant the world to him.

After that you would see each other a lot more often. For some reason every mission you had was with him. He would also stay quite close to you as well. There was one time when you two were just sitting around a table he had grabbed your hand and put it on his head. You were confused but he looked at you expectantly but when you didn’t do anything he frowned and pushed it on to his head a bit harder. You realized, and although very confused, starting to pat his head. He seemed content but grabbed you hand when you tried to pull away.

It was sweet. The relationship the two of you had now, like mother and son. But then it took a turn. He would barely let you fight the demons you fought. Always jumping in and killing them before you. It was sweet at first but then got frustrating. Then after that he insisted on being next to you everywhere, even when not on missions. But compared to other things, those were more innocent.

He started trying to take up all your time, always wanting to be around you. He would also seem standoffish and be flat out rude to your other friends. Soon for some odd reason they started to distance themselves. But he was always there to cheer you up, you realized too late that he was the reason why they got distant.

Then for some odd reason you started getting missions less and less. This confused you but you didn't question it much. Then one day Muichiro invited you over to his estate. This wasn't an odd thing as he had done that numerous times before. But at the end of the night he insisted you stay the night and after a little fighting you agreed. That's where you went wrong. He didn't let you leave the next day or the next. You got frustrated and decided to just leave. If he caught you on the way out then so bad you'd just force your way out, no big deal. Yeah, you were wrong. He caught you on the way out, as if he were guarding the door. He refused to move and when you forced your way past him he let you. You made it a total of five steps out the door before you felt something hit the back of your neck and you passed out. All you heard were Muichiro's six words.

"I can't lose you too, mom."

You shook your head harshly pushing away the memories. You were so stupid. He may be a child but he was a damn Hashira! You should never have gotten close to him, never invited him to meals, never talked to him about anything not work related, you were so damn stupid! You shook your head at those thoughts. It was too late now, all you can do is keep running.

You kept running down the path then stopped. No this was too dangerous, what if he started walking down the same path and saw you? You made a sharp turn and ran into the forest. It was more dangerous and the roots, twigs, and rocks hurt your feet but it was safer in its own way. You kept running, ignoring the pain, ignoring the wind, ignoring the noises, ignoring your tired muscles that screamed at you to rest, ignored everything. Even ignored the trail of blood you left that was created by your bleeding cut up feet.

You then stopped and jumped behind a tree, crouching. You could've sworn you heard footsteps. You waited in tense silence for a few seconds, listening for the footsteps but when none passed you started to stand back up. You froze again though when you heard them again. Along with a sickeningly familiar voice.

"Mom? Where are you? Come on, I know you're hurt, just come out." You fell back against the tree and stuck a hand against your mouth to quiet any noises. You looked down at yourself, trying to figure out why he said you were hurt when you saw your bleeding feet. Shit. It's been leaving a trail right to you. You couldn't move. If you stood on your feet it'd just leave a trail, but if you tried to crawl away it'd make too much noise and you'd be more noticeable. You're stuck.

Tears filled your eyes at the realization, what were you going to do? You couldn't go back to that estate, playing house. Forced to be affectionate and treat him like your child. You started hyperventilating, having a panic attack.

"Why are you crying?" You gasped and scrambled back on instinct, trying to create distance between you and the boy and appeared right nest to you. His eyebrows furrowed and he easily pulled you back. He held your face tightly with both hands, refusing to let go no matter how much you pulled your head back, he just kept it in place. "Don't cry, mama." He spoke softly but you kept gasping for breath and trying to pull away. He frowned. "This might hurt, sorry." Then you blacked out.

When you came to you were laying on something soft with a heaviness on your side and chest. You blinked and realized you were lying back in your futon at the Tokito estate. You moved your head to the side and saw Muichiro laying next to you, closely tucked to your side with his arm and head resting on your chest. He was also staring right at you.

"Your awake!" He smiled brightly at you but you could only feel a deepening pit in your stomach coming from the smile that once brought you so much joy in seeing. "Your feet were bleeding so I bandaged them up. You shouldn’t run off like that mom! Not even half an hour and you already got hurt, they could’ve gotten infected.” Muichiro said but his smile then faded and a cold look crossed his face. “Now on that topic, why’d you run, ma?” You shook slightly at his icy look but his words filled you with disgust. A sudden flash of confidence filled you.

“You know exactly why I ran, Tokito.” I glared at him harshly and pushed myself away from him, trying to create some distance. But I then stopped when I felt a restriction on my foot. He tied my foot to the ground with a rope. “What the hell, Tokito!” I yelled at him again.

“Stop calling me that." My blood froze when I met his eyes, they were void of any emotion and it was terrifying. "I told you to call me Muichiro." He pulled me in closer. "And you're not leaving. I'm not losing you too." His face then softened and he climbed on top of me, hugging me tightly and nuzzled his face into my neck like a baby kitten nuzzles into its mother.

"Don't leave me too, mom."

#written: shino-mina-324 #fanfic #kny #demo slayer #x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #platonic yandere #kny muichiro #demon slayer muichiro #muichiro tokito

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livyjh · 2 days

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Come Sail Away ch.5

Bff’s dad!Joel Miller x Plus size!Fem!Reader

Series rating: EXPLICIT 18+

Chapter 5 rating: EXPLICIT 18+

Word count: 2.8k

Summary: Your spring break has been saved by your roommate and best friend, Sarah Miller. She's invited you to come on vacation with her and her dad, a man you've never met. But you didn't think twice before accepting her invitation. When you finally meet her dad, Joel, you have an instant crush on him. You thought it was one sided... he proves you wrong.

Chapter warnings: almost getting caught, lying, mentions of eating, buying expensive stuff, receiving gifts, experiencing feelings, LOTS OF FLUFF, some smut too 😏 , PDA, public play, more lying lol whoops

Series Masterlist

Joel Miller Masterlist

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You and Joel were both suddenly awakened by a loud knock on his stateroom door. You looked at each other with a little panic in your eyes.

Joel whispered instructions to you. “Stay here. I’m gonna see who it is. Be quiet.” He kisses your forehead and then gets up.

He pulls on boxers and a t shirt before tiptoeing to the door and looking through the peephole. You hear him take a sharp breath before the door opens.

You hear a familiar voice. “Dad, do you know where Y/n is? I haven’t seen her since dinner last night and I don’t think she came back to our room.” Sarah explains to him.

You’re glad you’re out of sight, but god, Joel better keep her OUT.

“Uhh, no. I just woke up. Haven’t seen her.” He says with a tired voice. “Maybe she went to breakfast early?” He suggests.

“Maybe. I’ll go look around the breakfast buffet. But we’re docking in like an hour, we gotta find her.” Sarah says with a slightly worried voice. It makes your heart swell that your best friend is worried about you.

In the same beat, you felt so guilty for sleeping with her dad. But goddamn, he was so sexy and kind and caring… and very generous in bed.

You would find a way to tell her. Hopefully a way that doesn’t make her want to kill you.

“Yeah, don’t worry, babygirl. She’s around here somewhere.” Joel reassures Sarah.

“Okay. Get dressed and help me look!” Sarah says.

“Alright. I’ll meet you at the buffet.” He then closes the door and walks towards the bed, back into your sight.

“That was close.” You let out a relieved breath.

He nods with a small laugh as he gets back into bed with you. He pulls you close and kisses your cheek.

“I’ve gotta go.” You frown.

“Oh, come on, five more minutes.” Joel smiles and then kisses the side of your neck.

You hum happily, one of your hands playing with his curly hair. “Okay, five minutes. Then I’m gonna get dressed and go to my room to put on a new outfit and then I’ll try and just casually run into you guys in like a half hour.” You shrug.

He nods and kisses your lips. “You’re so smart.”

You laugh and blush a little. “Just because I’m good at sneaking around with you, doesn’t make me a genius… I just happen to think you’re worth it.” You bite your lip, hoping the admission wasn’t going to scare him off.

“You’re worth it, too.” He smiles and kisses your nose.

You two make out for a few minutes before you finally peel yourself away from him to get up and get dressed.

You give him one more kiss before you sneak back to yours and Sarah’s room, putting on a new outfit for the day and fixing your hair a little.

You head to the main deck where you can look overboard from around the whole ship. You stand there and pretend to look for sea life. The pretending becomes real when you spot a pod of whales.

You take some pictures and then head inside, going up one deck to the buffet to actually eat breakfast.

There’s bacon, sausage, ham, biscuits, eggs cooked to order, fruit, pancakes, waffles, cereal, oatmeal, coffee, and juice of every kind… you name it. So you fill your plate with pancakes, bacon, and eggs, then get some orange juice and find a table.

You look up at one point and see Joel and Sarah walking towards you. You wave at them both with a smile.

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Sarah says as she sits down next to you.

“Sorry, I um-“ oh shit, you hadn’t actually thought of a good excuse. “I got laid.” You blurt out the words without any explanation.

Joel blushes, sitting across from you now.

Sarah looks at you, half understanding and half confused still.

“I slept in his room. The guy that I um, yeah.” You add. “Slept in a bit and now here I am.” You laugh nervously.

“Oh my god!” Sarah exclaims, “you have to tell me everything tonight.”

“Tonight?” You clarify, wondering why she wouldn’t be available to talk sooner than that. You didn’t want to say anything in front of Joel because Sarah would find it odd. But you also didn’t want to tell Sarah anything about the sex because… well, that’s her dad. Even if she doesn’t know who you’re talking about.

“I was thinking about spending the day in town with Eli… if that’s okay with you guys?” She looks at you both.

You and Joel make brief eye contact before turning to look at her.

“That’s fine.” He nods.

“Yeah, you go have fun.” You smile at Sarah.

“Thanks guys.” She smiles at you both before getting up. “I’ll see you later. Eli and I are gonna be back for the comedy show at 9, maybe you guys can meet up and find us in the theater.”

“Sounds good!” You wave as she hugs Joel and then walks away.

As soon as Sarah is gone, Joel smiles wide at you.

You laugh a little as you continue to eat, “What? Do I have something on my face?”

He shakes his head. “You only had fifteen minutes to get ready today yet you look the most beautiful I’ve ever seen you.”

Your heart flutters in your chest, butterflies in your stomach, face heating up. You had real feelings for Joel.

“Th- thank you.” You laugh nervously.

“You’re welcome, sweetie.” He grins. “I’m gonna go make a plate. Be back soon.” He gets up and walks away.

You’re left sitting there with your realization from the moment before.

Feelings.

You had real romantic feelings for him. It was more than sex for you. Your heart feared he may not feel the same way.

You tried to push these thoughts to the back of your mind for the time being, wanting to just enjoy what time you had with him.

He returns after a few minutes, carrying a plate that had sausage, ham, eggs, a biscuit, and a bowl of oatmeal.

“Hungry this morning?” You raise a brow and smile.

“Gotta refuel after last night.” He chuckles.

You nod. “True.”

***

After breakfast you and Joel get off the ship and go into town.

You start at a cute little store with lots of handmade items. Crocheted clothing, macrame plant holders, jewelry, pottery, paintings, even items made of glass.

You wandered over to the jewelry counter, asking the woman behind the counter to pull out a small tray of rings.

Joel is close behind you, “Those are pretty.”

“Mhm.” You nod and start checking the sizes on the ones you like until you find one your size. You slip it onto your middle finger on your right hand, holding out your palm facing away from you, fingers splayed.

Joel makes a small sound, “Just gonna get one?”

“They’re kind of expensive. I mean I know they’re handmade but I could only really afford maybe two at most.” You sigh.

“Buy four. I’ll pay for ‘em all.” He puts his hands on your waist and you feel a shiver go up your spine.

“Really?” You turn to look at him over your shoulder.

Thankfully, the salesperson at the counter had walked away, still in sight, but out of earshot.

He nods, leaning down so that his face is closer to yours. His facial hair brushes against your ear as he speaks, “The thought of your hands covered in rings while wrapped around my cock…” he breathes the words.

Your eyes slip closed momentarily before you catch yourself. Your eyes shoot back open and you keep trying on rings as Joel steps away from you a few inches, hands leaving your body.

You end up picking 5 rings, Joel footing the entire $275 bill. You couldn’t believe he actually went through with it. It made you feel warm and fuzzy.

You had two rings on your left hand; your middle finger and pinky. Then three rings on your right hand; your thumb, pointer finger, and ring finger. They felt comfy as you put them on to wear them out of the store.

Next, you and Joel wander down the street to a novelty and tourist t-shirt place. As you enter the store, you both notice it’s incredibly busy.

He grabs your hand, lacing your fingers together. “Stay close.” He smiles down at you.

You bat your eyelashes at him and grin, nodding. “Okay.”

You walk around the store like this, hands joined together, his thumb gently rubbing the back of your hand.

Normally, crowds and tight spaces like this would make your anxiety spike, but with Joel there to protect you and calm you, you felt fine.

He ended up getting a dark blue shirt with the word ‘Bahamas’ across the front in a font that was an easy-to-read cursive. You couldn’t wait to see him in it.

You got an oversized pajama shirt, it was light and dark pink tie-dye and had a small palm tree on the front where a pocket would be, and on the back was a landscape of a beach with the word ‘Bahamas’ as well.

After seeing another couple shops, you got a quick bite to eat and then went on a bus tour around the city and through the nearby park a bit.

Joel held your hand through the whole bus ride, occasionally breaking the hand-hold to scratch an itch or grab something out of his bag, but he always immediately reached for your hand when one of his was free.

Your thoughts about your feelings for him came back, making you zone out for a few minutes during the ride. The way he was treating you today… maybe he was interested in more than sex, too.

***

After the bus tour, you and Joel found a lively bar/restaurant. It was full of people, it was Friday night.

A host takes you to a small, half circle shaped booth that faced a three person band that was playing live music.

You two slid into the booth next to each other and you started to get dirty ideas. This was a perfect setup for some under the table fun. The lighting was low, there were plenty of distractions and sounds, there was a tablecloth covering everything…

You began to get flustered, trying not to stumble over your words when a waitress came over to greet you and take your drink order.

“Hi, how are you two tonight?” She asked.

“Good.” Joel smiled, sensing your anticipation, sliding his hand over onto your thigh under the table.

“What can I get you to drink?”

“I’ll take your most popular whiskey.” Joel grins.

You look at him and then at the waitress. “Uh, I- a piña colada, pl- please.” You stutter, blushing.

“Perfect. Would you like to keep your tab open?” The waitress looked between you two.

Joel pulled his hand away from your leg for a moment to get into his wallet, giving the woman a card. “Yes, open please.” He nods.

“Thank you. I’ll be right back.” The waitress smiles and walks away.

You look at Joel next to you, smirking as his hand returns to your thigh, closer to between your legs than on top of just one.

Two can play at this game.

Your legs spread and you lean back in your seat, folding your hands over your stomach in a relaxed position.

He slipped his hand up further and further until it was pressed to your panty covered center under your skirt.

You began to breathe a little faster, your hand moving over to his crotch, palming the half formed bulge there.

He laughed quietly. “Baby, I don’t think you can win this one.” He whispers.

“Watch me.” You tease.

You start to press your palm against his erection, moving it back and forth until you could tell that he was fully hard.

By now, Joel is attempting to push your panties aside with two fingers as you two pretend to maintain a conversation.

“It’s been a nice trip.” You hum.

He swallows thickly. “Great trip.”

You move your hand down and cup his balls, making him gasp softly.

He finally gets your panties out of the way and then he’s pressing his middle finger into your pussy.

You were embarrassingly wet. You’d make sure to leave a hefty tip in case there was cause for a professional cleaning. Or fabric replacement…

The fact that you were already dripping just turned Joel on even more. His breathing was hastening too, and you were both startled when you noticed the waitress coming back towards your table from by the bar.

You both kept your hands under the table, exactly where they were, but you stopped moving.

“Alright, we’ve got a whiskey and piña colada.” She smiles and sets the drinks down before leaving again. She didn’t seem to notice anything, if she did, she didn’t care.

Joel begins to pull his finger out of you before pushing it back inside. He pulls the digit out again and drags it up your slit until he reaches your bundle of nerves.

You took things a step further and unzipped his pants, reaching your hand inside to grip him through his underwear while your free hand grabs your drink.

You take a long sip and look out into the restaurant to make sure you weren’t being watched before your attention turned back to the… matter at hand.

The look in Joel’s eyes was all you needed to see to know that you’d won. If you were to keep going he would absolutely cream his pants right then and there.

You probably would’ve gotten off too if he’d kept rubbing your clit, but instead, he removed his fingers, reaching for his glass to bring it closer.

You almost can’t believe as you watch him dip his wet middle finger into his whiskey, swirl the large ice cube around, and then bring that same finger to his lips to taste it.

You squeeze your thighs shut. Maybe he won, too.

***

After drinks and dinner, you and Joel are in a rush to get back to the ship before the comedy show you were supposed to meet Sarah and Eli for.

You both wanted so badly to have time for extracurricular activities, but it seems that would have to wait.

You and Joel split up and take different ways to the theater so that Sarah doesn’t get any ideas.

Joel seems to find the pair first, you approaching the three of them in the middle of a conversation.

“Y/n! Hey!” Sarah smiles and gives you a big hug. “How was your day?”

“It was really great.” You smile. “How about you guys?”

“Amazing.” Sarah sighed happily, looking at Eli for a moment, him nodding in agreement.

“Mine too.” Joel looked at you longingly.

“Good.” You look at them all. “Now let’s get seats.”

***

After the show, Eli left after a quick kiss with Sarah. Joel decided after a minute that he was also going to go back to his own room.

You and Sarah head to the karaoke lounge for a couple quick songs before going back to your room, too.

“I’m glad you had a good time today.” Sarah grinned, getting settled into bed.

“Me too.” You had told her most of the truth, you just didn’t include the fact that her dad was with you all day.

“Are you and Eli, like, a thing now?” You ask.

“Kind of. Maybe. Not really. I don’t know.” She lets out a frustrated sigh, turning towards you. “He lives in New York and neither of us are really willing to do long distance… I think it’s just gonna be a vacation fling… I can’t believe tomorrow is the last full day.”

“Me neither.” You frown, wondering if your situation with Joel would end up being the same, a ‘vacation fling’. “Just a sea day, too…” you take a long pause.

“Hey, what if you just spend all day with him tomorrow? Make the most of it.” You suggest.

Sarah shakes her head. “No way, Y/n. I have been a shitty friend almost this whole trip.”

“Sarah, it’s fine. I’m serious. I’m just happy to see you so happy.” You smile. It was the truth. While part of it was that you wanted to spend more time with Joel, you also wanted to see Sarah have a good time.

She smiles back at you. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” You nod. “We’re stuck on the ship all day, it’s not like we’re missing out on anything we haven’t seen yet.”

“True.” She agrees.

“Exactly. Now, let me sleep.”

She giggles. “Goodnight.”

You laugh too, “Goodnight.”

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Joel Miller tag list: @evyiione @chyannealaniz @cesspitoflove @supersingle @jrosie25 @blackfemalenerd @bongsrconfusing @milly-louise @farintonorth @brittmb115 @ashleyfilm @steverogers123 @doblasftcisco @missladym1981

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rikeijo · 2 days

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Yuri!!! on stage pamphlet, Kubo Mitsurou - Character comments

Katsuki Yuuri

The character of Katsuki Yuuri, previously still vague, solidified in the scene in episode 4 when he touches Victor's hair whorl. That scene is also one, where I managed to express an idea I've had in my head for a very long time - I wanted to show something like a moment not connected to the main story, when their relationship changes, but not in a logical way. The same thing can be said about the scene in the last episode when, even though Victor is crying, Yuuri pushes aside his fringe and says "So you cry too!" - Yuuri has this very primal (原始的) characteristic of putting his own curiosity first before feelings of the other person, that's a desire he can't suppress. I think it was our intention to use this characteristic to make the viewers expect that he is surely going to act in a way they cannot predict. Throughout the series, Yuuri's character was shaped by misleading the audience to think they know Yuuri's personality and then showing them in each episode that they were not right about him. That's why the character turned out to be much more complex that we thought he would be in the first episode and I think the viewers can sense that the creators had a lot of fun writing him. We sometimes say that the characters are acting on their own, but in this case I think we were writing the character while being bossed around by him.

Victor Nikiforov

Just as it was with Yuuri, I couldn't fully grasp Victor's personality in episode 1, and so his character also solidified over time as I was writing the show. Beginning with the scene in episode 4 when he told Yuuri "I'm not going to hold back" during their conversation on the beach, and then when he was "really hurt" after Yuuri touched his hair whorl, little by little the underlying kindness Victor possesses started to show up more, as even though he had no idea what Yuuri was really thinking, he wanted to get to know Yuuri better and Yuuri to get to know him better too. Actually, I also thought the fact that even staff members couldn't fully comprehend Victor's actions made him all the more charming. Because his actions were impossible to comprehend, the audience too has been watching the show without being able to form any strong assumptions about him and the sense of insecurity you've been getting while watching him was probably also a sign that you started to like the character... I've created Victor by trying my best to draw a cool and beautiful human being. I don't think however, that he could ever be mine. Yuuri also feels this way, but in Yuuri's case he was able to form a very strong connection with Victor thanks to skating. I was writing the show while thinking that I'd like the audience to enjoy the feeling that in every episode, together with Yuuri, they too get to meet Victor they've never seen before, as the relationship between Yuuri and Victor is forming - relationship that was only possible because Yuuri had skating as an excuse [免罪符, it means something like "get-out-of-jail-free card" - funny word choice, but Mitsurou really pushes here the idea that Victor was way out of Yuuri's league. ]

Yuri Plisetsky

In case of Yurio, his character as well as character design were very clear from the very beginning. He was very easy to write. He is my favorite type of character and based on my experience I was sure he's going to be popular. He is the type of a side character, who can outshine even the main character in terms of popularity, so I was careful not to make him "angsty" by e.g. giving him a tragic past or making him have a difficult family situation. With Yurio I didn't want his character to be someone who gets popular because people feel sorry for him, so I gave him family and coaches, as well as new friends, and wanted to show his strength by making him achieve even greater success while being in a relatively good place emotionally. I think I've managed to use the basic manga trope of writing about a strength of found family instead of real family without focusing on the tragic aspects of this trope.

Christophe Giacometti

Chris was born as an ultra sexy character, a character who is very aware of his "eros" and at the same time has the strength to not care when other people stare at him. I decided on the visual side of the character first - I gave him those curled and long, stunningly beautiful eyelashes because I wanted the audience to think: "How grateful we are that such a beautiful skater exists in this world at the same time as Victor!". I also wanted to show the gap between his super cute look with curly hair when he was a child and his present look and suggest that a lot of growing up happened there. While I was writing him, or I should say it was more thanks to the choreography and music we created, the charm that was radiating from him was neither masculine nor feminine, but simply Chris' charm. I personally wanted to make him a "skater who looks good naked" and was having great fun writing him.

Phichit Chulanont

With Phichit, I was aiming to create a pure and energetic person. I've actually heard Thai artists active abroad saying that they want to show everyone the new face of Thailand and also that there are certain aspects of Thailand they were only able to see after they went abroad. So, I felt that young Thai people right now are really making a lot of effort to reconstruct themselves, so I wanted to make Phichit a person who has the spirit to create new things. With the fashion he wears, I was aiming for something Harajuku-like.

Ji Guang-Hong

I've come up with this idea of a Chinese competitor, young but with good skills, as a counterbalance to the great number of overwhelmingly strong competitors who appear in the show. I wanted to make him a character who shows all the signs of becoming terribly good in the future if he continues to gain more self-confidence and experience. When it comes to his personality I was imagining him following the latest trends, like all the modern kids do, or maybe traveling to the USA off-season to train at the same rink with Leo, for example. I intentionally didn't make him really stand-out, because I think he is still at a stage before he can bring out his individual personality.

Jean-Jacques Leroy

Before we even started to think about the story, I effortlessly came up with lines like "JJ won't give up! He can't give up!", so JJ is the character who has already been well-defined even before he was created. We placed a very rough order for his song: a song which feels like it was written by somebody who could win a Grammy. The request we've made for the lyrics too wasn't all that specific but the finished lyrics were well... absolutely amazing! I wanted to make JJ into a character who would make the spectators sing that song while he skates his short program. He is too egoistic, so other competitors who can't get along well with him, simply can't get along well with him, period. He isn't the type who can become friends with everyone. However, he doesn't really care. I wouldn't say that he for sure isn't hurt at all by this though, if you look deep inside, but one of the incredible things about him is that he doesn't let it show on the outside.

Georgi Popovich

We aimed to express different kinds of love and here is the type of competitor who puts all the emotions he's experiencing after he broke up with his lover into his performance. I was thinking that maybe in a country like Russia nobody would have a problem with him doing something like that and so I gave him this kind of artistry, different than the artistry Victor has. And again, also compared to Leo, he's a different type of artist. Georgi is very serious about practice and listens to what his coach says too diligently. But I think he loves himself the most, more than anyone else. He is a narcissist, so he loves his lovers very much too, because they love him. I think that's why he reacts with this "I am the one who can protect you!" thing after he gets dumped. The ability to transform all these feelings into a performance is his strong point.

Nishigori Takeshi

Nishigori was created because I wanted to introduce a point of view of somebody who has gave up on skating. He is also a childhood friend of Yuuri and somebody, who has been watching him from a very close distance - so he's a character with a quite complex setting. He is the only married man [in the show] so I wanted him to be masculine and not somebody who fret over things a lot. I also was thinking that the reason why Yuuri didn't want to go back to his home town for such a very long time, is because of Nishigori and Yuuko. When it comes to Nishigori and Yuuko's relationship, I think Yuuko is the one who started it. She didn't confess her feelings directly but I think it was probably very clear that she likes Nishigori. Because men from Kyushu don't go after a girl who they know they don't have a chance with. They never try to reach a "flower that grows high on a mountain top [an idiom representing a unattainable goal] (laugh).

Leo de la Iglesia

Leo, who was looking up to Victor, is the only competitor who choreographs his programs by himself. He wants to leave no doubt that he is self-producing his programs - he wants to skate his own choreography to the songs he likes to truly bring out his own charm. When it comes to figure skating in the USA, there is a lot of strong competitors in different parts of the country and so there are also skaters of different races. I think there is that conviction that to be able to show your own strengths in these conditions, the most important thing is to express the "I'll be saved by the things I love" core part of you. Leo can't for example jump quadruple jumps yet, but instead he wants to find his other strong points and show them - I wanted him to be a strong person in this way.

Minami Kenjiro

A skater who just made his senior debut, Minami-kun, was created because, just like Yuuri looks up to Victor, I wanted other Japanese skater to look up to Yuuri and Yuuri to be aware that there is somebody who looks up to him. Yuuri had a very bad start at Nationals, so Minami has already won with him once, but I thought I wanted another active competitor to tell Yuuri that he wants Yuuri to continue skating. And so I gave him this pure personality, the kind that Yuuri doesn't possess, so he can yell "I will definitely win with you!". Because of that, he became a character like a classic shonen manga protagonist. And because he has the vibe of anime protagonist I also gave him a matching haircut. I created him feeling that "If Yuri!!! was a shonen manga Minami would definitely be the protagonist".

Otabek Altin

He is a stoic, rugged and serious skater. A type of man who doesn't go to gatherings with other skaters. He left his family and was moving from country to country throughout the course of his training, so he had to wait a long time for a breakthrough. While training, separately from skating, he was also making friends among local musicians, so he has a lot of companions, who are important to him not only in Kazakhstan. He is the type of person who you can trust. He doesn't talk much and doesn't use social media much. But somehow you feel that he can for sure make a lot of progress. He also has this idea to do things that other people don't do. That's why I think that [since he started till the moment we meet him in the show] he's been treating skating very seriously. Otabek is more of a warrior or a soldier than an artist. I see him as this kind of person, who respects competitors who aren't on a level playing field with him and he treats them like comrades-in-arms. That's why, after he met with Yurio at a summer camp and saw his strength, he decided to find his own style of fighting, other than ballet, and he never forgot Yurio, who also had a soldier-like dream.

Michele Crispino

I think Michele loves his sister too much and that's why he doesn't really want to change. He has the skills and skates very good. That's why he managed to get to the GPF and is a very strong competitor, but there's also something missing there and he can't really break through. I wanted to show that his love is of a different kind than the rest of the cast's. I think the kind of love he has for Sara is a little bit different than familial love, but well I think that in his mind Sara is the only person he can trust. But Sara herself thinks she needs to change. I wanted to highlight this change by making Michele a tough/traditionally masculine guy. I was thinking that I want him to use the emotions he has because of his sister to have the break through even if these emotions are not necessarily positive. It was fun writing him.

Lee Seung Gil

SeungGil says pretty harsh things and has the most athlete-like mind of all the skaters. The pressure he is under is huge so, as the real athlete he is, to protect himself from being influenced by this pressure, he doesn't do any fan-service. I think that he is simply a stoic competitor, but because during interviews he says things like: "Is it really necessary for me to answer questions like that?", people misunderstand him and tease him for being cold. The story that I was thinking about for him is that he competes with this stoic attitude, but he knows that if he doesn't become more expressive, he can't win, so he chose a song and costume with an element of surprise. I think this gap is where his charm is. I think he, in his everyday life, isn't interested in things other than skating and usually wears clothes his mum bought for him, or jersey.

Emil Nekola

There are a lot of characters who stand out, so I wanted to design one, who doesn't, and instead simply has a sunny disposition and is like a younger brother or the kid in a group. Skaters from Czech Republic are popular so I thought that it will be a good match to his personality if I make him Czech. The image I have for him is that he is friends with Michele and is the kindest person among European skaters. I was thinking to make him "a big guy who you can depend on". He is very good at physical activities, so I think if, in addition to skating, if he decided to do snowboarding or extreme sports he would be pretty good at them too. He himself isn't really fixated on skating and has a lot of other things he likes to do. But right know he is focusing on skating. That's why, unlike Michele who is like: "Skating is the only thing I have in my life", Emil has a very good way of dealing with the pressure - he is a clever guy.

Closing comments

The things to enjoy while binge watching all episodes

At the end of ep 10, it was revealed that Yuuri at the banquet actually asked Victor to be his coach. If you re-watch the show from ep 1, while having this in mind, the relationship between Yuuri and Victor will surely appear very different. In the beginning of ep 1, when Victor ask Yuuri "Do you want a commemorative photo?", to him Yuuri wasn't someone who really stood out from the crowd. But then, he watched the video of Yuuri skating a perfect copy of his "Stammi Vicino" program, while having some prior knowledge of Yuuri from the "be my coach accident" at the banquet. And as the story goes, because of that Victor's got certain ideas and decided to travel to Japan. If we look at the events from Victor's perspective, it must have been very weird for him, because Yuuri himself asked him to come, but after he came Yuuri met him with this "Why are you here…?" reaction. I think you should be able to enjoy the story even more, if you change the perceptive you watch the show from when you re-watch all 12 episodes at once.

To fans…

I think without both the fans who were supporting us and the staff members who participated in production, we wouldn't be here today. I can't thank you all in person, but we are thinking of doing something, so you can enjoy the world of Yuri!!! even more, as a thank-you gift. I'm looking forward to your continuous support of Yuri!!! on ice.

#yuri on ice #yoi_full translation #tr_kubo mitsurou

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stervrucht · 3 days

Text

'Proximity' Part 3 ● Part 1 ● Previous ● AO3

cw: sexual content

“You have a lot of stuff.”

Steve looks around Eddie’s room, which is small and crowded. It makes Eddie nervous and he shifts his weight from one leg to the other as he studies Steve’s face. He is looking for a trace of judgment, maybe disgust, but it never comes.

Eddie’s room is nothing like Steve’s.

Where Steve’s room lacks any trace of him, Eddie’s room nearly explodes with it — every object a piece in the puzzle that is him. It feels deeply personal, almost naked, to have Steve observe it and touch it. It exposes a part of him — the real him — and Eddie has no control over the interpretation.

It’s a type of vulnerability he purposefully left behind when he started dressing more provocatively.

People think shit about him, but at least he knows what he makes them think. Like sacrificial metal — one of the few things he remembers from Chemistry — where they put Zinc on the metal hulls of ships, so the Zinc corrodes rather than the ship itself.

Guide their thoughts.

Keep the ship untouched.

“Eh, yeah, I’m sorry. I should’ve cleaned it before you came over.” Eddie quickly kicks a pair of dirty socks under his bed — like that would make a difference.

“No, I like it. It’s very you.” And that is a positive, right?

He isn’t sure.

Eddie’s bed is unmade, clothes are strewn about, and he has been sleeping with about ten cassettes in his bed for a week now. At least, for the days he had slept at home, which admittedly, hadn’t been a lot.

Steve looks around his room, touching his stuff with curious fingers. Curious but careful, even though it’s nowhere near as expensive as a single glass in the Harrington house.

Well, except for his guitar maybe.

“I’ve never heard you play,” Steve says while he runs a finger along the snares. The touch elicits a faint sound and its echo rings in Eddie’s head.

“I could, sometime…if you want.”

“I’d like that.” Steve smiles, and Eddie feels like the sun is exploding in his face, smacking him death-center with heat and radiance.

Like freaking Helios.

Steve puts his bag down on Eddie’s bed; clothes, a toothbrush, and that ridiculous Farrah Fawcett hairspray he uses. Steve doesn’t need much else. For someone with such a big house, Steve has surprisingly little stuff.

He sits down while Eddie clears one of the shelves on his wall. It’s mostly junk and trinkets and he tosses it in a drawer that has become a catch-all for random things.

“You play any instruments?” Eddie asks Steve as he kicks the drawer shut.

“I can play the piano — only sheet music though, no improvising. I’ve had lessons since I was a kid. Only quit after I made it to the swimming team…”

“That’s cool. You should play me something too when you get the chance.”

“You have yourself a deal, Munson.” Steve smiles and he seems relaxed — more relaxed than he ever was at home.

It’s nearly dinner time when Eddie realizes the fridge is empty. Steve finished unpacking a while ago and Eddie had frantically organized his room and changed his bedding after he settled Steve on the couch.

He’s a little embarrassed by the state of his room, but Steve insists that it's fine — that he likes it even. And that is just a crazy notion to Eddie because Steve’s house is like a castle and it's clean.

It has a pool for fuck’s sake.

But Steve hates his house and he likes Eddie’s room, and that’s, well, it’s nice actually.

They go grocery shopping together and that’s something they’ve never done before. Steve makes sure the fridge is stocked whenever Eddie stays over, or Eddie arrives with take-out.

It feels weird to be out in public with him; to be amongst people who know them — or at least know Steve. Eddie thought Steve would feel more ashamed to be seen with him in public, but he has absolutely no qualms with it. Steve doesn’t seem to notice the lingering gazes people give them, even though it’s something Eddie is acutely aware of. He can sense the difference in the way people stare, different from how they look at him when he’s alone. Less disapproving, more curious — maybe even a little bewildered.

They must look like an odd pair.

Eddie exaggeratedly swings the shopping basket as he helplessly follows Steve through the aisles. Steve seems to know exactly where he is going. Of course, he does; Steve must do groceries all the time, living alone and all.

Eddie doesn’t like grocery stores. They’re domestic, a watering hole for Hawkin’s grape vines, overwhelming with colors and bright TL lights.

Uncle Wayne usually does the shopping.

“Where did you learn how to cook?” Eddie asks while Steve scans different packages of spaghetti. Eddie twists the shopping basket in his hand and a package of ground beef moves over its plastic surface. Steve absent-mindedly grabs hold of Eddie’s hand to steady the basket — only for a moment. The touch feels electric and the ghost of it prickles his skin.

Steve stands on his toes, reaching for a package at the top shelf and Eddie can see a sliver of skin peeking just above his shorts when he does.

“Hard wheat.” Eddie hears Steve whisper to himself while scanning the back of a package. He nods, seemingly satisfied, and gently places it in the shopping basket.

It’s strangely adorable to see him fuss over the grain type of spaghetti noodles of all things. Even in the harsh artificial light of the supermarket, Steve looks good, especially when he’s fussing like that; furrowed brows and worrying his bottom lip.

“Sorry, Eddie. What did you say?”

Steve catches him staring and now Eddie is the distracted one.

“O-oh, right. Where’d you learn to cook?”

“Ah, my au pair taught me when I was a kid. We used to cook together. A girl from Italy, somewhere around our age now I think.”

“Sounds adventurous.”

“Being an au pair? I suppose so. It’s a hit or miss. She was nice though. Taught me some authentic tricks.” Steve winks at him and Eddie feels his knees go weak.

Steve pays for the groceries and if Eddie had kept a tally, he’d probably be in the red.

They cook together and Steve is just as fussy cooking as he is shopping. The noodles have to be perfectly al dente — whatever that means — and the vegetables have to be cut a specific way, which Steve makes sure Eddie gets right. And it’s good; probably the best spaghetti Eddie has ever had, although that’s a low bar.

The bathroom in the trailer is small.

So small they can’t brush their teeth at the same time; Eddie stands in the doorway while Steve occupies the mirror. Part of it is fogged up from their showers earlier, Steve’s face reflected only where he wiped away some of the condensation. He runs a hand through his damp hair while holding his toothbrush with the other.

His hair is missing its signature swoop and Eddie’s isn’t much better — flatter and softer without the hairspray. It’s like they have shed their skin.

He thinks of the snake again.

Eddie pushes Steve’s thigh with his foot when he’s taking too long and Eddie wants to spit. Steve doesn’t move, instead raises his eyebrows at Eddie, challenging him.

And that’s a mistake, because Eddie pushes himself into the bathroom, between Steve and the sink, and leans forward to spit. Eddie can feel Steve pressed against his ass and yeah, he didn’t really think this through. But Steve, like always, seems perfectly oblivious, even when Eddie can spot the blush on his own cheeks from a mile away.

“I’ll just be…out,” Eddie mumbles as he squeezes himself out of Steve’s bubble. Steve shoots him a curious glance before leaning over to spit as well.

Eddie turns the lights off and slips under the covers of his bed. He tries to steady his breathing, the insistent thumping of his heart, and the little spark of excitement growing in his lower stomach.

The sheets smell fresh and his room is the most organized it has been in a long time. From his bed, he can see Steve’s little shelf, stacked with clothes and a few hygiene products, illuminated by light that drips in from outside.

Eddie feels fondness settle in his heart, just looking at that stupid shelf.

“Hey.” Steve pokes his head through the doorway and he’s carrying a glass of water that he puts on the bedside table on Eddie’s side. Then, he crawls into bed as well, the side that sits against the wall and throws the covers over them both.

They’re lying in bed, facing each other. Steve smells like Eddie’s shampoo and it's making his head spin a little.

Eddie’s room isn’t as dark as Steve’s. The curtains are thin and the trailer park is well lit at night. It’s also nowhere near as quiet as Steve’s house. Outside, people are talking, laughing, yelling — people yelling at people who are yelling — and in the distance, several dogs are barking.

With Steve facing the window, Eddie can make out his features in the dim light; his eyes are open and he’s looking at Eddie.

“Why are you here?” Steve asks after a moment. When he speaks Eddie can feel his toothpaste breath on his face, hot and ticklish.

“Uh, weird question. I live here.” He grins and he’s sure Steve can hear it in his voice.

Under the covers, Steve gives him a playful slap. “I mean, why with your uncle, you dickhead.”

He doesn’t pull his hand away; leaves it there on Eddie’s upper arm.

Eddie hasn’t actually told anyone about his past; kept it intentionally vague because he hates being a victim and he hates pity.

Yet, when he is with Steve, there is no Zinc, just the exposed metal hull.

“Long story very short: Dad’s in jail, mom’s an alcoholic. CPS placed me with Uncle Wayne and thanks fuck for that.”

Steve is silent for a moment. “I'm sorry.” Steve’s hand on Eddie’s arm squeezes slightly, reassuringly.

Eddie winces.

That’s exactly what he hates. But he can’t blame Steve; it’s normal. How else would you respond to someone who got dealt a shitty hand in life?

“Don't be,” Eddie starts, and places his hand on top of Steve’s. He wants to pry it off, to make Steve stop feeling sorry for him. Instead, he does nothing. “It’s better this way. Besides, I’m aiming for that tortured artist kinda charm.”

He gives Steve’s hand a reassuring squeeze and smiles.

Steve just frowns at him. “Right.”

Silence hangs between them and the fold between Steve’s eyebrows draws a dark line.

“What’s it like in the Harrington house?” Eddie asks.

“Besides being empty?” Steve shifts, pulling the blanket a little higher/

“I mean, a regular normal day, with your folks and all.”

“Not that different. They have very rich lives and I’m not really a part of it — except when they fight.”

“Fight?”

“Yeah, like argue? Not physically. It’s usually minor stuff, but my parents have very different coping styles. My dad, he closes himself off completely and needs to be left alone, and then magically a few hours later, everything is fine. It drives my mom crazy because she wants to clear the air right away — talk about it, get it over with. And when dad’s like that, you can’t get anywhere with him, so then she comes to me, and frankly, it’s exhausting. Makes me wish they would just…stay away.”

A silence settles between them and Steve’s hand feels rigid under Eddie’s. Eddie feels like he should say he’s sorry too, for Steve, but those are just words and they don’t help. Perhaps just being here, listening, is all Steve really needs.

“And what are you like, Steve?” Eddie’s voice is careful and soft, threading the line.

“I don't know. Maybe a bit of both? Actually, neither I hope.”

Eddie gives Steve’s hand another squeeze.

“Then neither you shall be.”

When they emerge from Eddie’s room in the morning, Wayne is already home from work. Eddie hasn’t given a lot of thought to what it would look like to have Steve sleep over, but he supposes Wayne is used to Eddie’s antics by now. Having a friend sleep over is hardly the worst of Eddie’s offences.

Call it his impulsive nature.

“I don’t believe we’ve met.” Wayne puts the paper down on the table. He is still in his work clothes; probably just got home from the plant. He stares Steve up and down.

“Steve Harrington.” Steve steps forward and shakes Wayne’s hand. It’s a good shake, firm and formal. He sees the tightness in Wayne’s face disappear.

“Harrington, huh? Don’t see your folks much around town.”

Steve’s gaze falls to his socked feet, one foot moving over the other, before looking up again. He puts on that classic Harrington smile, pretends it’s all okay. Eddie can see it, clear as day now that he knows what to look for.

“They're away often — conferences, business trips. That kinda thing.”

Wayne hums in response and he opens his paper again but doesn’t yet start reading.

“Classmate of Eddie’s?”

“Used to be. I graduated two years ago.”

Wayne lets out an unamused laugh. “Took him long enough, huh? Now all he needs is a job. You got a job, Harrington?”

“Yes sir.” Steve looks deeply uncomfortable and Eddie gets it because Wayne is not a warm man. He probably can’t allow himself to be because they’re just scraping by.

Wayne most likely knows Eddie is making some money on the side — knows it isn’t clean either — because Eddie never asks for anything. No gas money, nothing.

Eddie probably should get an actual job now that he graduated. Clean up his act.

Dealing isn’t durable and it isn’t safe. Just because he hasn’t been beaten up and robbed in a while doesn’t mean it won’t happen again.

“My nephew could learn a thing or two from you.” Wayne appears to be done grilling Steve and looks over to Eddie. “Eddie, I expect you boys to be quiet. I’m hitting the sack in a few.”

“We’ll be out of your hair, old man.”

Wayne sighs audibly and returns his attention to the newspaper.

Eddie gets started on boiling water for coffee and Steve leans against the counter, their sides pressed together as he watches Eddie’s hands. He can still sense tension in Steve, who is rubbing his own hands while his jittery eyes follow Eddie around the kitchen.

Eddie hands him his coffee — black — and Steve receives it with grateful hands.

They move to sit down on the porch and their legs dangle off the wood. In front of them, the sun is peeking above the trees and the first rays of sunlight hit their faces. The light is warm and yellow, and when it hits Steve’s eyes, they burn auburn.

Eddie wonders if Steve ever studies him like Eddie does Steve. By now, it feels like Eddie can dream Steve’s face, every crease when he smiles, every mole on his skin.

Behind them, Eddie hears the sound of curtains being drawn — a sign that Wayne is getting ready to sleep — and he turns his attention back to the line of trees in the distance.

Eddie sips his coffee and lets the sweet bitterness bite itself into his tongue.

He writes this Steve in his mind as well. Calm and open, eyes burning auburn. The smell of coffee and the warm press of skin on skin, thigh against thigh.

Eddie takes another sip of his coffee. The sky is optimistically blue and Steve doesn’t have to work today.

They have the whole world stretched out before them.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you play,” Steve says while he tosses his shirt aside.

They’re in Steve’s driveway, which has a basketball hoop. The garage door is still open from when Steve went in to retrieve a basketball from it.

He picks it up from the ground in a smooth scoop and bounces it between his hands.

Eddie allows himself to stare, just a little. The heat of the sun is glaring down on them, even at eleven in the morning and Steve’s chest is already gleaming with a thin layer of sweat. His chest is tanned, although a faint imprint of sleeves is visible on his arms.

“I may have skipped PE a time or two.” Eddie laughs sheepishly.

“Or always.” Steve corrects him as he throws the ball at Eddie. He catches it — barely — and it feels hard beneath his fingers.

He gives it an experimental bounce and it feels clumsy. He has to lunge forward to capture it again.

“Damn, you’re bad at this.” Steve laughs at him, but it's not malicious, merely amused.

“Everyone has their talents, Harrington. I don’t see you writing a campaign.”

“What? A presidential campaign?” Steve gives him an incredulous look.

“A D&D campaign!” Eddie throws the ball back to Steve. “Seriously, do you ever listen to your rugrats?”

Steve catches the ball easily and gives it a few bounces. “I frankly don’t care about that stuff. Too complicated. All this jazz about forgetting ‘initiative’ or something…”

Eddie runs a hand through his hair. “Fuck, they always forget initiative!”

“Yeah, dude…still don’t know what that means. Now quit stalling, I’m teaching you how to dunk.”

Steve runs at Eddie, bouncing the ball, and when he is right in front of him he does a little swirl, taking the ball with him effortlessly before jumping and slamming it into the hoop.

“Now you.” Steve throws Eddie the ball and he catches it two-handed, so flat on his palms it actually hurts a little.

Eddie gives it his best, he really does, but he’s not good at sports. He dribbles, or at least does something that should pass for it, but it comes nowhere near Steve’s effortless movements.

Which, honestly, is fine by him.

Steve’s more of a gross motor kinda guy and Eddie has nimble fingers, good for playing guitar or painting figurines — both have their uses and both can be extrapolated. Like, in bed. Steve probably has great stamina too.

“Dude, pass the ball.”

Eddie feels heat rise to his face and he hopes Steve doesn’t notice, because his thoughts just really went there. Right in front of Steve.

He throws the ball at Steve, and it’s a weak throw. The ball lands in front of Steve’s feet and bounces away.

By now, the sun has climbed its way higher into the sky and Eddie is sweating. His hair sticks to his neck and forehead and he doubts it does the same for him as it does for Steve; who is — as previously thought impossible — looking even better, all slick with sweat and chest heaving.

Eddie leans forward, hands resting on his knees, panting heavily. He realizes he's had enough of this jock nonsense.

When Steve goes for another dunk, Eddie jumps and actually manages to intercept his throw. Steve makes a noise when Eddie captures the ball with two hands and clutches it to his chest.

Eddie makes a run for it.

“You can’t run without bouncing,” Steve yells after him.

But it’s too late because Eddie is stealing the ball away. Maybe if he throws it in the middle of the pool, Steve will give up on his geek conversion therapy.

Eddie is clumsily opening the gate to the backyard when he hears Steve’s footsteps hitting the concrete.

“Shit,” Eddie mutters under his breath. He shoves the ball under one arm and swings the gate open. Eddie isn’t good at sports, but he’s excellent at sprinting.

Steve may have endurance, but as long as Eddie has a head start, he can outsmart him—

That’s his last thought before the pool water rushes up to meet him. The basketball wrenches free from his grip as he crashes into the water. Chlorine stings his eyes and water floods his nose. Somewhere around his waist, he feels Steve’s fingers dig into his flesh.

When his feet find the bottom of the pool, he pushes himself up and once he breaks the surface he takes a deep breath, pushing his hair back and rubbing his eyes.

Steve is grinning at him, hair soaked and dripping on his face. They’re both still in their clothes, Eddie realizes, and he kinda wants to drown Steve.

He kind of wants to kiss him too.

Somewhere behind him the basketball floats forgotten.

Steve moves closer and the water suddenly feels impossibly cold against Eddie’s hot skin, because Steve reaches for his head and Eddie feels like he suddenly can’t breathe. And then, Steve runs his fingers through Eddie’s hair, pushing it back, slick with water and Eddie feels his heartbeat in every fibre of his being. Steve’s eyes are focused, scanning over Eddie’s face, before locking on his eyes and then, Steve smiles.

“You look so weird, dude.”

Eddie takes in a shuddery breath and swats at Steve’s hands.

“Don’t be mean. I’ll cry.”

Without answering, Steve lets himself sink below the surface. For a moment, Eddie thinks he will swim away, but then he feels arms wrap around his thighs and Steve’s face is buried against his hip as he hoists Eddie into the air, only to slam him back into the water.

Eddie yelps and his mouth is still open when he breaks the surface.

There’s water in his mouth and nose, and when he resurfaces he coughs a good few times, just a tad more dramatic than he has to. Steve has a shit-eating grin on his face and Eddie thinks he may actually prefer drowning Steve now instead of kissing him.

“You’re so dead, Harrington,” he says grinning as he swims over to Steve.

Eddie doesn’t stand a chance against Steve on-the-swimming-team Harrington, but that doesn’t stop him from trying.

They lay their clothes out to dry on some sun chairs and Steve gives Eddie what is possibly the ugliest polo in his collection.

He does that on purpose.

Eddie stands in front of the mirror in Steve’s room and what he sees is straight-up bizarre. The polo is grey with red and blue stripes, he’s wearing Steve’s shorts, and Eddie’s hair is flat and soft. He looks at Steve through the mirror, who is sitting on his bed, smiling at Eddie’s back.

“I take back what I said in the pool. I think you look weirder now,” Steve says leaning back on his elbows.

“Enjoy it while it lasts, darling.” Eddie turns around, hands on his hips and he probably looks more confident than he feels wearing Steve’s ridiculous get-up.

“Oh, I will.” And then, Steve stands up and walks over to Eddie. He still smells like chlorine, despite the change of clothes, and his hands find the hem of Eddie’s polo.

“You’re not wearing it right though.” Steve’s voice is soft and Eddie feels his heart rate pick up as Steve proceeds to tuck the polo into his pants — feels Steve’s fingers dip below the rim of his shorts, gracing his ass, moving to the font and running past his hip bone—

Eddie’s breath catches and his hands hang uselessly at his side as Steve adjusts the polo. It’s too intimate, too close, and suddenly Steve’s room is too hot despite the AC.

“A-ah, that’s fine.” Eddie finally sputters taking a step back and raising his hands to create some distance.

For a moment, Steve’s expression becomes unreadable and Eddie wonders if stepping away is an exaggeration. But Steve is straight and he is dangerously close to finding out Eddie is not.

It’s for his own good.

After an awkward few seconds, Eddie feels like he needs to break the silence. “I should probably head home…catch Wayne before he leaves for work.”

Steve’s eyes do not leave Eddie.

“My parents expect me for dinner,” Steve says.

They stand there, in Steve’s room facing each other and suddenly the room feels impossibly large; the distance unbridgable.

Eddie feels his heart sink. Maybe Steve’s parents do expect him for dinner, but right now it feels like Eddie has somehow done something wrong.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Eddie has to try — reach out — make Steve understand he didn’t mean it like that.

Whatever ‘that’ may be.

Steve nods but the small crease between his eyebrows doesn’t escape Eddie.

When he is outside, Eddie grabs his damp clothes from the sun chair. They feel warm from the sun when Eddie digs his finger in hard. He forces himself not to look back when he heads towards his van.

“What the hell are you wearing?” Wayne asks when Eddie arrives home. He is tying his steel-toed boots on the couch and can’t seem to fight a small smile off his face at Eddie’s attire.

Eddie is really not in the mood right now.

“I fell in a pool.”

“A pool of fancy clothes?” Wayne chuckles.

Eddie scoffs and heads for his room, closing the door behind him.

After a while he hears the front door fall shut, announcing Wayne’s departure, and he realizes he’s alone. The loneliness contrasts so heavily with the warmth of the day that Eddie feels himself shiver.

He stares at the ceiling, purposely avoiding Steve’s shelf on the wall. The polo Eddie is wearing still smells like him.

The absence of warmth and weight on his side feels foreign, even when Steve’s presence is only a second to a day.

He thinks of Steve’s face, hair dripping wet as he runs his fingers through Eddie’s hair; Steve’s fingers digging beneath the band of his shorts.

Eddie closes his eyes and moves his hand beneath the waistband of Steve’s borrowed shorts, fingers dragging over his hip bone.

Steve’s face resting there as fingers dig into Eddie’s thighs, hoisting him from the water—

Something treacherous clenches at his chest as he wraps his hand around himself, strokes his cock until he’s fully hard. He’s edging the line and he knows it, yet he can’t stop himself. Steve is too close, too much. Somewhere along the way, the edges have started to blur and Eddie isn’t sure what is friendship and what is more. He isn’t sure if Steve knows either.

When he opens his eyes, he looks at Steve’s shelf through filtered lashes — desire pooling in his gut.

He is breathing hard now.

Steve’s smile in the mornings, eyes burning auburn, chest slick with sweat and panting from exertion—

When Eddie comes and his desire wanes, guilt washes over him. The evidence of his thoughts on his fingers; a line crossed that cannot be uncrossed.

He looks at Steve’s shelf and wonders if Steve thinks of him too.

---

'Proximity' Part 3 ● Part 1 ● Previous ● AO3

---

#steddie #steve x eddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #domestic fluff #mutual pining #unresolved romantic tension #proximity_fic

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sundrop-writes · 1 day

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why did you delete careful?

i went to go re read and its gone 🔫🔫

Just to clarify for everyone - yes, I did delete it from Tumblr. My series Careful (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader) - has been completely scrubbed from Tumblr, aside from reblogs by other people that I cannot delete.

Why did I delete it? Honestly, the tone of your message really drives home why I deleted it - entitlement from readers, a general unkindness toward me and this work that I have put hundreds of hours into. People being rude in the comments and blatantly misunderstanding the work because of a fanon acceptance of babying Spencer to the point of emotional incompetence and absolutely smooth flawlessness. (So having me prod at his flaws in the fic makes me worthy of such harassment.)

I really wanted to drive home the fact that you are not entitled to fanfiction. Fanfiction is a privilege.

I deleted it because I wanted to make a point: fanfiction is free, and you cannot treat it with the same harsh, unhinged criticism that you would with a piece of media that you paid for. (Especially because fanfiction authors are directly reading your comments, while TV producers/writers and movie producers/writers are not.) If you do not like something in a fanfic that you're reading, click away and forget about it - don't comment on it.

And I really hope that me deleting this fic and people 'missing' it will cause people to take a step back and self examine so that they are kinder and more thoughtful the next time that they comment on a fic.

Writers use their free time to work hard on fics, and there is a huge amount of stress that goes into getting an idea down on paper, making it coherent, editing it - even something like making fanfic covers to embellish our fics to make them more enticing to read. There is a lot of hard work and stress that goes into a fic before it's even seen by anyone, so I don't need the added stress of rude comments, entitled people, and the passive-aggressive 'this is good, but-' comments that people constantly bring to the table.

I really, really loved Careful when it was in my drafts. I was so excited to post it for everyone to see - but after posting it, the comments I received made me resent the fic so much, made me question my entire creative process as a writer, and made me really bitter toward the fictional characters I was writing about, but when I went into the fic, I had nothing but genuine enthusiasm about them.

Making someone develop a deep, vile resentment (bordering on hatred) toward their own fic is really something else. And it made me realize that people don't deserve to read that fic in order to comment on it.

It will not be reposted to Tumblr, but it is still on AO3 - and that is very purposeful on my end, because all my fics are archive locked, so fewer people can see them and read them. I was considering deleting it off every website altogether, but AO3 is an archive for a reason. I may orphan it on AO3 later -or I just hope that I can write enough works that I am proud of and that I love in order to bury it deep in my catalogue so that I don't have to look at it or think about it anymore.

If you really want to read it, go find it there. If you don't have an AO3 account - then idk what to tell you.

Just be kinder and more thoughtful when commenting on fics. And please, learn to support writers in other ways - actually reblog their work instead of just lingering with a blank blog, go back and read older fics on their masterlist, engage with them.

And if you already do these things, this message is obviously not for you. If me saying this pisses you off, then this is probably for you.

#anonymous #sundrop answers #spencer reid x reader

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itsblasttothepast · 2 days

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Random Checo Pérez Post

So, I've been a fan of Checo Pérez for years... since the beginning, actually. I'm mexican, I'm older than him (I'm in my 40's, if anyone was wondering) and I particularly follow mexicans in tough sports for our country (like my boy, Donovan Carrillo, killing it in ice skating).

It can be tiring seeing all the hate he gets for every little thing (without couting the racist/xenophobic comments), and I know he's controversial, but he's also human and makes mistakes. Anyway, that's no the point, as a Checo fan, I've been there seeing all the different teams and teammates, and honestly, I kind of want to go back when he was mostly ignored by the press and the media.

I hardly post anything personal in my blog, I mostly reblog and like posts of you awesome people, but now I'm in a ranty mood and want to share my my impressions of his career in F1.

Starting with Sauber, his very first team:

I call this: Baby Checo Era - Cursed Sauber Era

Look at him, he was so young, full of dreams and growing into those teeth. I think he was very lucky with his first teammate, the great Kamui Kobayashi (I secretly think this is why he's so fond of Yuki Tsunoda nowdays); he learned a lot with Kamui, Checo even admits that he knows about managing tires thanks to Kamui.

They seemed relaxed, and made a great team, and also we had Esteban Gutiérrez, another mexican, as the third driver for Sauber.

Anyway, this was his learning phase, and he was killing it, most of the press was nice/ambigous, some pilots on the paddock didn't like him, but we didn't care because Kamui was there, Esteban was there, and we as fans were there.

I called this 'cursed Sauber era' because it made us believe that life was good and we could be happy forever and ever.

Then it came the worst thing ever (actually, for me, the worst thing ever is Red Bull, but most Checo Fans don't agree on my take). My boy moves to McLaren because Ferrari was still thinking their options.

I call this the Lost Checo Era - Collective Amnesia Era

We thought the move to McLaren would put our Checo on the map, oh boy, we were SO WRONG. No points, no glory, no good car... not even good press. It was a hot mess.

Not even the suit was good, honestly.

His teammate was Jenson Button. He was polite, but we could see he didn't like Checo's driving style, and sometimes my boy made silly mistakes and tried to force his way into the laps rather aggressively (which most drivers did back then, but whatever).

Still, they were mostly nice to each other, but the team was shit back then, and Checo seemed lost and confused (and still wasn't growing into those teeth). When he changed teams, we as fans decided to forget all about McLaren and move on with him. Although I must say Checo has said that Jenson was one of his best teammates and learned a lot from him, so I guess their relation wasn't that bad.

Then it came Force India/Racing Point... oh, Force India, it was our time.

I call this the Hopeful Checo Era - Foce India Hope

Checo came and slayed, honestly. Everything seemed to click with that team, he looked comfortable, in his element, winning points again...

And he finally was growing into those teeth!!!

His first teammate here was Nico Hülkenberg, and they seemed to have a good relation, even friendly I might say.

It was an amazing time, as a fan, I can say I enjoyed all the races, even when he kept spinning out the track or hitting other drivers with his wheels. He and Nico were amazing, and had such a nice chemistry, it was a refreshing change and it made us nostalgic.

Then Nico moved to another team... and another Checo Era starts.

Nico Hülkenberg loggged out of Foce India, and Esteban Ocon logged in...

I call this the No Fucks Given Checo - Force India Breaking Point

We could see Esteban and Checo didn't like each other. It was obvious, and they tried so hard to show they could get along, with hilarious results like Esteban's tweet about Checo trying to kill him twice.

You could feel the tension even in pictures, honestly. As fans, we used to joke every race weekend, asking 'has Checo finally killed Esteban?'

Checo here was fearless and daring, and kept pushing everyone out of his way, including his teammate, which of course is a big no-no in F1... although Mercedes suffered the same with the whole Lewis/Nico thing (and RedBull to a lesser extent with Max/Daniel), but Force India was a mid-table team, so it wasn't a big deal (nobody cared, those were the good days).

I even remember when Massa complained about Checo's overtake on Lance, and my boy answered 'What are you? his father?'... I think even Kimi laughed at this, it was hilarious, and showed how many fucks he cared.

Unfortunately, Force India had a very questionable management (debatable, Vijay seemed like a nice person), and after stopping paying all the employees, Checo brought legal action against the team in hopes of looking for buyers capable of servicing the team's debts (this is why they like him so much on Aston Martin). This led to Force India to be bought by Lawrence Stroll, and rebranded as Racing Point.

I call this the Reborn Checo Era - Racing Point Pink Era

Honestly, I would fail as a mexican if I didn't put this picture, his first win in F1, we cried so much, starting at the last place, and winning, the fireworks, the tears... and the fact that he had been fired, and here he was, winning, showing everyone to never give up.

Anyway, Checo had a new teammate, Lance Stroll, and it even looked like we would get something similar to Nico, but then they fired him for Sebastian Vettel (no hate to Vettel, it was strategic, and we get it, but it felt like such a betrayal after what Checo did to save the team).

Still, my boy looked good in pink, and he and Lance got along, and gave us amazing moments. I even think that he improved his relation with Esteban Ocon because he was Lance's friend. It was nice.

But when he was fired of Racing Point, we as fans thought 'it's over... our boy is going to leave F1'. We even joked about funding our team so he could stay, it was bittersweet. He won, but he still lost.

Then it came the proposal of proposals... the big league (I wanted Checo to go to Mercedes and race with Lewis), Red Bull wanted him as second driver.

I personally didn't like it. Those teams are hardball, and the press is ruthless. But everyone was so happy for Checo, and I wanted to see him race, so I made peace with it.

And here we are now... I honestly don't know how to call this Checo Era. It has been a rollarcoaster since the beggining, and I wish he hadn't renew and moved to another team... but I'll stay here with him, like I've done since 2011, I just hope that the pressure and the harsh and unnecessary criticism doesn't end up breaking him.

Especially now that he looks so hot and finally has the Tom Cruise smile.

I actually like Max, I think he's a good person, and an even better driver. I think he and Checo have a good relation, friendly at times, frosty some others, but in the end, they reach a middle ground where they can be teammates and not enemies. I like them together, but I don't like Red Bull policies and the way the press seemed to want to make Checo feel like he's a failure just because he isn't Max.

Oh, and also, thanks to tumblr and FB, now I kind of ship RP, and I agree that Max and Checo have amazing chemistry, they look so good together! (but also deep down, I lowkey ship Lewis/Checo... and I still hope to see them together in a team).

So, if you made it this far, thank you very much for reading my weird ramblings. English is not my first language (again, mexican), so I apologize for the grammar mistakes.

I'm a Checo fan, and I'll be until he retires... I just wish that those who aren't, didn't create such a hostile and hateful enviroment.

I hope that when Pato O'ward joins F1, the enviroment is more welcoming and nice.

Checo aun tiene para luchar, y ni modo cabrones, así es la vida.

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torchvic · 2 days

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fuck this *flicks my little magic wand* your obey me cast is all transgender. here are my personal headcanons for that (putting this under a read more because this is A LOT)

the brothers r first because i was thinking abt this for one billion hours:

asmo is genderfluid and i think he'd use she/he pronouns. (we could also argue bigender asmo because that'd be cool also)

he/they transmasc mammon. literally they/them'd in a call and i saw a transmasc mammon headcanon and i think abt it all the time now.

it's been discussed here before but levi is nonbinary transfem. she uses they/she pronouns and i will die on this hill. also uses some type of neopronouns. gamer girlfailure /j (might be femcel. idk it might be the amount of times they use "normie") (i'm in love with her)

belphie is too tired to give a shit about gender. he says "no" if asked. they/it/he maybe. probably uses star/starself neos too cuz that stuff rocks (agender belphie anyone???)

beel uses any pronouns and doesn't rly label his gender i don't think. never really gave it much thought probably but i don't think he cares. love them lots. :3

i don't think satan really cares about gender either BUT i think he could identify with catgender (he/cat pronouns (maybe more) he'd use cat-centric neopronouns this has to be canon)

nonbinary lucifer is canon on my SOUL. they use they/she/he pronouns because they can and will.

then we got the silly goober dateables + small child luke:

diavolo got that demiboy swag and once he discovers neopronouns it's gonna be awesome. he/they/prince pronouns (or any other royal-centric ones)

barbatos is agender. bro is a time master lord guy they do NOT give a shit. they/them and maybe it/its depending on the day

solomon uses them all. every single pronoun. they've lived so fucking long that they just said "fuck it" or something and claimed all of them. he made the genderfluid in his cauldron and promptly drank it. uses neos too but there's a lot that fit here. maybe it's all of them too. i do think xe/xem (and other variations) are used though because i said so

i don't know if angels have a concept of gender or not. they/he simeon though something about him is nonbinary af luv u simeon

i'm not sure for luke because he's like... 10... but again idk if angels really have the gender concept at all (probably not they're supernatural beings. they all are actually). might be a mainly he/him user but doesn't mind it when other pronouns are used. idk the gender because hes a child but maybe he'll figure it out later in life cuz rn he's worried about baking really good treats for michael

last but not least the characters they refuse to add to the system (please im in love with thirteen please PLEASE):

mephisto got that bigender swag idk something about them screams it. i do think they use they/he pronouns though (maybe she/her also, but it depends on the day lawl)

thirteen is transfem i feel it in my bones. she/it/they pronouns. i love her so much. it's my favorite character ever look everyone. obey me devs add thirteen to the intimacy system NOW PLEASE.

raphael is agender bro does not care they will rain their spears on you and then eat solomon's cooking right after to make you physically ill (/lh). uses they/xe :)

thank you for coming to my ted talk and im sorry for the intense rambling <:)

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sapphic-agent · 2 days

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One thing I didn't touch on in my Book 3 Aang analysis was that an important part of his character development was just dropped out of nowhere. I'm of course talking about him letting go of Katara.

I didn't notice it before, but this was such a strange decision to make looking back. Because watching both The Guru, it's heavily implied- if not outright told to us- that in order to not only be the Avatar the world needs, but to heal and grow, he needs to let her go.

You have indeed felt a great loss. But love is a form of energy, and it swirls all around us. The Air Nomads' love for you has not left this world. It is still inside of your heart, and is reborn in the form of new love.

This is pretty blatantly telling us that Aang's love for Katara comes from the loss of his people. He, upon realizing that he was alone, attached himself to the first person to care for him. The first person to embrace him in one hundred years. He's projecting the love he had for the Air Nomads onto her. And while understandable given the circumstances, that isn't healthy. Aang's attachment to Katara comes from feelings of grief as well as physical attraction, which is a... Bad combination.

(And before anyone says it, no I don't think that's the only way he cares for her. But I do think even their platonic relationship is tainted by not only this, but everyone around them enabling Aang. So many people told him that he just needed to wait and she would come around, that he was the Avatar so of course she would- Avatar Roku I am in your walls- not one person told him to be ready to accept rejection. Not one person told him to respect and be mindful of her boundaries. Are we surprised he did what he did in DOBS and EIP?)

"The Thought Chakra is located at the crown of the head. It deals with pure cosmic energy, and is blocked by earthly attachment. Meditate on what attaches you to this world. Now, let all of those attachments go. Let them flow down the river, forgotten."

I did actually mention this briefly in my Book 3 post, but I sincerely doubt Guru Pathik is telling him he can't love. Roku, Kyoshi, and Korra all found love and they had complete control over their Avatar States (Korra was at her most balanced when she got together with Asami btw). Letting go doesn't mean Aang can't love.

Appa, someone Aang loves more than anything, doesn't appear in this vision. Neither does Sokka, Momo, or Toph. Just Katara.

His attachment to Katara is what's holding him back. Because it's unhealthy, and it's keeping him anchored down. This isn't just about the Avatar State, it's about healing the turmoil in himself. He cannot do that if he doesn't let her go.

(This behavior is even escalated in LOK. Only instead of Katara, he attached himself to Tenzin. Tenzin being an Airbender gave Aang credence to project his love for the Air Nomads onto him. Not only did he then neglect Kya and Bumi because of it, I would also argue that he did a good amount of damage to Tenzin himself. Being put on a pedestal like that by a parent is so harmful)

The fact that none of this is even mentioned in Book 3 doesn't make a whole lot of sense. It was an important part of Aang's development and integral for his growth and healing

#anti kataang #aang critical #anti aang #but not really #aang deserved better #anti bryke #because not only did you screw over katara's character you screwed over aang's #they ruin everything #anti book 3

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moonselune · 4 hours

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Hii, do you have any headcanons for the companions at the beach? (Let's pretend it's during the story and the companions decide to take a (deserved) break for a day so Astarion can actually stay in the sun lol)

omg omg omg omg yes I'm going to write this as more of a headcanony rambling list because the THOUGHTS I HAVE

Astarion

he is sunbathing and don't you dare stand over him he will gut you

he is not putting on sun cream because 'the burn is worth it'

irl he just wants to feel the consequence of the sun on his skin, to feel it one more time

but he will just tell everyone that he is too gorgeous to burn

he is bright red at the end of the day but its worth it - though not so much when Shadowheart says his sunburn isn't worth one of her healing spells.

Karlach:

YOU WANNA PLAY MERMAIDS!!?!?!?!?!?

She would 1000% dive for cool rocks and shells and bring them back to companions, the less receptive they are, the more she brings them as if to prove something

que Minthara, Astarion and Lae'zel having piles of shells and rocks near them

starts a volleyball match, the volleyball becomes a flaming meteor by the end of it because of how competitive she gets

plays chicken in the water with Shadowheart on her shoulders vs Lae'zel with Minthara on her shoulders - Min'zel lose because they are too strategic.

pouts when told it is time for them to go home and runs back in the sea, telling them '5 more minutes!"

Gale:

Smothered in sun cream

shades and floppy hat does not give a single fuck

Gale is having a day off, mage hand fanning him with a ridiculously large fan.

says he isn't going to of the bbq because he always cooks yet gets involved some how

definitely a backseat cook

"I mean I haven't seen anyone in Waterdeep do it that way, but you are the blade of frontiers after all"

Minthara:

She has found everyone the best beach spot - she doesn't care that it is an extra ten miles from camp the companions will appreciate it

Finds it hard to relax but eventually does after a bottle of wine or two - thanks to shadowheart

She even gets roped into beach games, which she tries to dominate but eventually loses - though she always blames her teammate for it.

Despises the sun so whenever she is resting she is in permanent shade,

She also had the big shades and big hat, the fact she is matching with Gale is just an unfortunate coincidence (Gale's fault of course)

Builds a sand fortress with Lae'zel.

Lae'zel:

Much like Minthara, is very practical about it all

Does some laps in the sea

Surprise tackles her companions into the sea, to see how they would react.

This does not go down well with Shadowheart who has just gained her confidence in swimming again

Lae'zel makes it up to her by making a sand fortress

It's a prototype for her own Gith fortress one day but she guesses shadowheart can lay claim to it for today if it means she'll stop complaining about her hair getting wet

Chows down at the bbq and joins Karlach in the sea when its time to go - she enjoyed the beach more than she thought she would.

Wyll:

This is his time to shine

This is his BBQ

He burns everything

Yes its not how they do it in waterdeep but what does Gale know ( a lot apparently)

Plays it off as a foreign sword coast culture

nobody believes him but nobody says anything

plays mermaids with Karlach

is also very competitive when it comes to volleyball

falls asleep in the sun afterwards and Shadowheart puts sun cream patters on him

isn't mad about it

Shadowheart:

Tells everyone that she is not getting in the water

After 5 minutes of being there she is in the water

Halsin does turn into a porpoise to help her swim (no secret meaning behind it because it turns out Shadowheart is in fact a terrible open water swimmer)

She's the one with the cold flask of cocktails and wine topping everyone up

She won't admit it but perhaps she gave Wyll one too many 'juice drinks' and that's why the food burned

Joins the shade with Minthara, draws a sun cream penis on Wyll but then feels bad

When Lae'zel shows her her apologetic sand fortress she is actually touched and puts a shell on it

Scratch runs through it 0.5 seconds later

Halsin:

Man just fucks off in porpoise form after helping shadowheart learn how to swim

They accidentally leave without him

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lover-of-mine · 1 day

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Tell me if I'm crazy. But as a Buddie forever girl. I warmed up to Taylor in the sense that after her actions with Bobby ext, there was an actual redemption era. We saw her back story. We saw her doing Covid. We saw her being Bucks friend. We saw her with Bobby. We saw her with the Diaz family. Would I have accepted her end game? Well fuck no. BUddie will be on my gravestone.

So why do BT shippers think I need to accept Tommy. TBH is earlier actions were, in fact, far worse than Taylors. He has been on screen maybe 5 times. I haven't seen him actually do anything to have a redemption arc. It seems Hen and Chim have to do the heavy lifting to make it seem like he wasn't a jerk. I mean I will forever be annoyed he left buck stranded. Tell me you wouldn't be annoyed if your BFF called you admitting someone left you behind any where because they were annoyed at you for any reason. But especially because you were still in the closet.

Like why should I give him more mercy than Taylor just because he has a dick.

*deep breath* oh wow I'm really about to publicly defend Taylor Kelly and the validity of bucktaylor? Dear God, how the times have changed *distressed chuckle*

Okay, the thing with Taylor is that they established a friendship before putting her with Buck romantically. We all knew it was gonna go there, and at the end of season 4, like it or not Taylor had a fighting chance. Because the thing is, they brought Taylor in s2, and she is supposed to be this distorted female Buck 1.0 to push Buck into action. She's unapologetic and she comes out as not caring for anything but herself, BUT her reintroduction to us, includes humanizing her. She has an extreme reaction because Buck was using her and she thought he cared and she has a deeply relatable reaction to the covid thing. This means that along with her still being sharp and unapologetic, we see her have a softer, dare I say even as caring as she can be, side before they get together. So Taylor could be a nice presence in Buck's life, she calls him out on his bullshit, she indulges him in his shenanigans, she freaks out because Buck might be hurt, and we establish that before they are officially romantically involved. So we witness Taylor open up to Buck during 4b, and that means that, if they wanted to, they could've kept that energy going and make her a decent match for Buck. A Taylor who cares about Buck as much as she cares about the truth, is a decent match for him (would that be better than buddie? No, but it wouldn't be a worst case scenario either). They could've been a nice golden retriever/black cat thing, and their friendship could've also been interesting if they had kept that evolving and didn't stumble them into a relationship. So when we contain bucktaylor to s2 and 4 and the 6 episodes Taylor's in, she was presented as someone who didn't care about a lot besides her own gain and evolved into someone who cared about Buck as much as she could. The key difference between bts here is the way they established a bond between Buck and Taylor before getting them together. Season 5 keeps throwing rocks at their relationship because they can't figure out how to love each other but they are trying. Even moments where Taylor comes out as dismissive, like her reaction to Buck being worried the team hates him for Chim leaving actually ends with her validating his feelings in the only way she can with the breakfast. They end up being terrible for each other because Buck cares too much and she can't match that. But it's not for lack of effort. We see the effort. In her own way, Taylor tries. Does she end up being the thing she tried to protect Buck from? Yes. But that conversation with Lucy during mayday shows a real understanding of Buck. She was trying. The fact that the way they love is incompatible doesn't negate that, it just shows that they are bad as a couple. Buck needs something she couldn't deliver. And Buck couldn't accept that. And they shouldn't, there's compromise and there's fundamentally changing who they are as a person, which in the end was what would be necessary for them to work as a couple.

Tommy, on the other hand, since the show wanted Buck being bi to be the 100 episode event, he didn't have time to establish himself in Buck's life before. And then there was no effort after. And we can scream reduced season all we want but if they did it with Taylor in 4 episodes, they could've done it with Tommy in 6. Season 4 was also reduced. And it had Jinx and Treasure Hunt. And let's face if they can write a reporter into the plot, why couldn't they write a firefighter? But ignoring that, we are being explicitly shown a lack of effort. The show decided that gay excuses complacency, which is their prerogative, but when applied to Buck they are making choices, the outfit thing is one thing, not being at the hospital is another. I will give Tommy a "pass" for walking out on Buck, Buck shoved him back in the closet, he had every right to be upset, BUT he also could've communicated that better without deciding Buck is not ready and only telling Buck he's leaving when he's already in the car. And the "I didn't want to pressure you" excuse you was bullshit. But again, lack of effort. Comparing to Taylor again, Taylor heard a firefighter had been injured and she raced to the hospital because she couldn't reach Buck. She's actually a steading person for Buck in that moment, she understands what Eddie being injured means for Buck, she talks to him, she offers to drive him (dear God I'm letting Taylor Kelly set the bar), so the contrast that actually exists here is in the level of effort in understanding Buck and trying to provide him with what he needs. The thing that bothers me most with bt is actually the lack of casual intimacy. I was talking to a friend yesterday about this and it all comes down to the way the show had moments where they could write that in and chose not to. Things like not warning Buck his face is dirty or even helping Buck clean it once the scene had served its purpose, not dressing up, not being at the hospital, not even offering Buck a comforting hand on top of his at the table during that dinner. It makes me not want to be invested in the relationship because it lacks effort. I'm not in the mood to lower my standards for him. Taylor wasn't perfect under any standards and with the way the relationship evolved I wanted her as far away from Buck as possible, but she always came back, that willingness to try and get things to work is a key difference. No matter what they do Buck is the main character, and like you said, it feels like having my best friend call me about someone who's a parade of red flags that he's too blind to see and I just have to smile and nod and secretly hate him because there's nothing to do until he snaps himself out of it. Buck is the one I love in this situation and I was not given enough to allow Tommy some grace. Even more when people keep yelling at me that I need to love him just because he's a man.

I need you to know this was painful to write. I was taking breaks and I took a lap around my house then I went on a walk looking at the sky asking how did I get here. I will never forgive this fandom for forcing me to defend Taylor Kelly. I think Taylor is an interesting character, awful match for Buck in the end, bad human all around, but I can't believe I keep being pushed into a position where I need to defend the validity of her presence because somehow people stopped seeing the actual problems that existed there and decided the only issue was that she's a woman.

#dear god #how did i get here #anti bucktommy #911 #i really need a tag for asks #anon 😌

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