I saw your post abt the US election but wanted to ask your thoughts on the UK gen election this year, I'm trans and have a trans younger sibling and I'm honestly shitting it
Heya,
So in the UK election I have slightly more confidence that the biggest bad guys might lose, though again I can’t predict the future. The issue is that this Labour Party doesn’t seem like they’re going to be any better on the climate or trans rights, to be quite honest. So, as I said to the American asker, it’s time to get organised, to key into mutual aid networks and protest groups, to find your people and start building a green, trans-liberatory world outside the state. I’m sorry that things are so crap, I really am. But your community will have your back and you can still survive this and even thrive into the future.
21 notes
·
View notes
Ya got any rants stored up? Long-burning hatred?
i FINALLY found one i’ve been holding onto this ask waiting for the opportunity.
i HATE how people treat people with anxiety disorders. it’s endless pity mixed with complete incompassion
like ok. obligatory i have generalized anxiety disorder here. a lot of things make me stressed and when i’m having bad anxiety attacks (which can last days and sometimes put me into month-long spells of misery) i get physically sick, to the point of throwing up and fever. i also tend to go nonverbal/low-verbal during these periods of time (usually bc i’m nauseous.) i’m also very prone to migraines and have a tic and wear a night guard due to jaw clenching etc etc you get the point it affects me.
when i share these symptoms with people (assuming they don’t have similar symptoms) i get a lot of frowny faces. “owh i’m sorry :( that must be awful how horrible“ and the like. and it’s never said in a way that’s actually kind. it’s said in the way people talk about those aspca commercials. and it’s never actually come from a place of genuine concern- it’s superficial pity apparently meant to placate me. i hate it
and that’s assuming i even get that reaction at all! usually when i try to explain to someone that i’m experiencing symptoms of some sort like “hey i’m sorry i can’t really be productive right now, i’ve got a lot of brain fog” i am ALWAYS dismissed. EVERY time. maybe it’s because i’m quite skilled at coping and masking. maybe it’s because my panic attacks don’t (always) look like wailing and thrashing and choking on air. but for some reason people don’t seem to understand that yes my anxiety disorder is actually disabling for me sometimes. i will ask for an accommodation i need, be compared to someone else with different needs from me, and then be told i need to just suck it up and deal with it. and i am SO! TIRED! OF! IT!!!! the amount of times i’ve told people “hey please don’t say that to me i’m prone to paranoia about xyz” and then been yelled at because “it’s not that serious take a joke” is ABSURD. hey maybe stop telling me my cough is covid bc now i have to spend the next 3 hours reminding myself that i don’t have any other symptoms asshole!!! jesus
and THEN when i actually DO find a way to cope or utilize the way my brain works or god forbid crack a fucking joke about it people get mad at me. “see i knew it wasn’t a big deal” or “so you’re actually fine” or “that’s not funny” i am. so tired of it
and then i go online and see people saying that disorders like anxiety and depression have been destigmatized and we’re treated basically the same in neurotypical society. motherfucker i did not go undiagnosed for 17 years with several doctors telling me it “wasn’t anything to worry about” despite my family history and clear signs from a young age just to be told my disorder is respected. if i say my anxiety is a disability i get called dramatic and am told to stop taking attention away from people who need it- or not to call it a disability because “it’s not that bad” and i’m fine because clearly having a disability makes every second of your life miserable of course of course. hell anxiety is demonized too! not as badly as many other illnesses but it’s still demonized!!! if i tell people “hey i have anxiety so please be careful with xyz” they act like i just asked them to let me do anything i want without consequence. there’s literally a whole fucking stereotype of people using “anxiety” as an excuse to be lazy or an asshole or entitled. as someone whose anxiety manifests in depressive spirals (freeze response) and rejection sensitivity (doom spiraling) this is Not Great!!!!! like i am hypervigilant about enough things i do not need to add “will these people get mad if i explain how my brain works” to the list
and about the rejection sensitivity. i HATEEEEE when people judge me for crying because they’re upset at something i’ve done wrong. “mars if you’re in the wrong then you’re not the victim” who the fuck said i think i’m the victim???? i cry because my brain takes “can you pls stop doing this it genuinely bugs me” and turns it into “you’re a horrible person how could you do this to someone they hate you.” but just because that happens doesn’t mean i’m not capable of rational thought!!! i KNOW realistically that my friends are good communicators and share that stuff because they like my company. i just need to cry about it as well. that doesn’t negate my logic or say i won’t actually try to improve myself. i’m just upset that i made the mistake. obviously i’m gonna fix it. that one REALLY pisses me off esp when i warn someone in advance that i do that. like calm the fuck down i’m not even pointing out that i’m crying rn this isn’t about me stop making it about me.
ANYWAYS. it’s really frustrating to deal with this shit from nts and then go to an online nd space for community and hear people talk about anxiety disorders like we don’t face ableism. just because it’s quieter doesn’t mean it isn’t there. that AND the “it’s barely an issue” girlie i was told i wasn’t disabled enough by doctors my whole damn life i am NOT about to start hearing it from you too. you can drown in the ocean or a swimming pool or a puddle. doesn’t fucking matter. the hypocrisy irritates me so bad
9 notes
·
View notes
due to Life Shit I kind of stopped drawing much about a year or two after I graduated high school bc I just kind of didn’t have the time or mental/emotional/physical capacity to fit it in, despite art being something I really want to be a part of my career. It kind of makes me sick to realize how much muscle memory I lost just from that time (I had only about a year and a half total of absolutely no art but that was enough. doesn’t help that during that time I seriously injured my hands) considering I’ve been drawing my entire life. I really wish things had not gone that way and that I could have kept going, but expectations were on me to do something else and any time I sat down to draw was treated as wasting time. There’s also something weird about recovering from severe trauma that kind of adjusts how you engage with a hobby you used as a coping mechanism, which Art very much was. I almost never drew vent art, but I used it to focus on something and make myself happy and proud of work I actually could do, and once I was out of the environments that funneled me into drawing (being forced to go to church, school, anything involving sitting down for a long period of time) I found less time to actually have an excuse. Someone bought me a single college course of art classes right out of high school, and I think that was where I COULD have had the opportunity to really get started if I had actually had the money to continue and the college hadn’t been so far away. After that course ended I didn’t have that excuse anymore. I used to draw in DeviantArt and Discord art groups, but those began to fall apart and soon I didn’t have that option either. After that I doodled but didn’t really create Full Pieces unless some friend asked it of me, and it was never a commission bc I’d never trained myself to get that sort of shit done without taking too long, so I’d always do it for free. So even that wasn’t a big motivator eventually. Now that I’m struggling for work after becoming more physically disabled after COVID, all that time I could have spent honing my art skills so I could do SOMETHING with my art really is weighting down on me. I have the option to do freelance work, illustrations, pet commissions, even things like cards and cookies. I’ve seen these avenues open up for me gradually, but I’ve lost the skills I built up that I need to actually make something I’m proud of. I’ve taken to tracing old art to try and remember my thought process and my “style”… but my memory was bad BEFORE the covid, and it’s worse now, and my brain fog makes it hard to focus even if I could get back on the train of thought. I don’t remember the construction that would be in my mind’s eye. I barely can keep a clear vision in my mind’s eye anymore, worryingly. I never had a crystal clear imagination, it was always sort of abstract, but I could see the lines, I could construct a scene. Now I have to focus hard to get any sort of detail clear in my head. It’s like if you tried to look directly into someone’s face in a dream, or put in a prompt in neural blender. So I have to adjust to performing the entire thought process physically, slowly and tediously trying to figure out what I’m imagining before I can really get started. Those old art tutorials for constructing shapes and bodies and such just aren’t coming naturally anymore so I have to dredge deep into my mind to remember which advice helped “click” the best and knowing it might not do it this second time around. It’s like if you forgot how to ride a bike. It was something natural to you, you could even get started haphazardly and distracted and still be able to tell where you were going and not fall over or trip on yourself, but now it’s like you have to focus on each step and it constantly feels like it’s taking everything you have to not crash. I’m glad I can start drawing again, but it hurts that something so huge in my life has been turned into this. I’ve ranted about it before it’s just easier to notice when you’re not sketching out people’s pets or doing super stylized doodles.
1 note
·
View note
after enjoying the first few episodes of fionna and cake so much i’ve been rewatching adventure time which has been very nostalgic, but when i was younger i dropped off watching it around season 6, which i think was probably more bc that was around when i finished middle school and i got busy, but i always remembered it as “i stopped watching after breezy”. FINALLY got to that episode today and it turns out over the years i warped it in my head and remembered it as waaaay more uncomfortable than it actually is. but still pretty uncomfortable and i can see why at 13 it’d creep me out enough to kinda just push AT away for a while. i did go to read real-time reactions to it though and found this reddit comment
we are popping the BIGGEST bottles when
4 notes
·
View notes