WWX stans saying he would have been the best uncle and Jin Ling's favorite uncle like we didn't see the man see Jin Ling go through the most horrifying event in his life and witness his uncle (who was also one of his two guardians) painful, traumatizing death after the said uncle was dismembered and after some really earth-shattering truths being unraveled, and LEAVE THE BOY THERE CRYING WHILE STARING AT HIS UNCLE'S COFFIN to go fuck in the bushes with LWJ. Like not an hour after the incident, or even a quarter of an hour. no. right after that whole shitshow happened!
(And JL accusingly asked JC why he let them go! JL...my boy... the real question is why did THEY choose to go?! When WWX had a traumatized nephew & a literally and figuratively bleeding brother to take care of, and LWJ had a traumatized brother who seconds ago WAS WILLING TO DIE WITH JGY and LWJ hadn't yet made sure that LXC's willingness has ceased since!)
And then WWX didn't even go to check on JL after that! While JL was a 15 y/o sect leader dealing with the power vacuum left after the scandals of the previous sect leader who was also coincidentally the Xiandu, & going through a power struggle with one of the worst sects out there.
WWX asks after Jin Ling from the Lan Juniors instead of going to see him himself! When he next sees JL it's said that the news of his struggles had reached Wangxian in Gusu, meaning that WWX hadn't dropped by to check on JL to hear of these from JL himself and he hadn't dropped by to check in on him even after hearing these news! He was only there bc JL had invited the Lan Juniors for a field trip!
WWX shows his love with drastic, big, dramatic, sacrificial acts like giving his golden core to JC or transferring Jin Ling's curse to himself, but since he himself loves to run away from his traumas and his responsibilities, he's not someone who can be counted on to help his loved-ones with their traumas and responsibilities. He didn't do it with Jiang Cheng and he didn't do it with Jin Ling. He never even talked to Wen Ning about Wen Qing and the Wen Remnants. (Or how WN feels about being a zombie forcefully brought back to life in a world that hates and fears him)
Maybe diplomacy is not his strength and he'll only make things worse by trying to help JL with his sect leader duties, but it wouldn't have taken anything from him if he had only stayed by JL at least for the night after the Guanyin Temple, not even doing anything, but just being there. (And I understand that narratively it might have been a point in the story where some readers might want to see the main couple sail off into the sunset together, but all it would have taken for the main couple to be shown as less of a dick was adding a phrase like "the next morning..." or even "later that day" or something like that before writing about them disappearing into the sunset...or the bushes.)
I love Wei Wuxian, but post-resurrection Wei Wuxian was really...not particularly an ideal family member.
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
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