#and not explain the significance of the name or costume at all

[audhd-nightwing]

jason, coming back from the dead and seeing tim as robin: how could bruce replace me? how could he give robin to someone else?

dick, who created robin in honor of his dead parents and then had bruce take it away and give it to jason without even asking him:

[nicoline1998enilocin]

The closet of desire

PAIRING | Civilian!Ari Levinson x Avenger!Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 3.3K

SUMMARY | Ari and you are at the afterparty of Tony's famous Halloween Party, and you're being roped into a very alcoholic game of truth or dare. You accept the dare of ''7 Minutes In Heaven,'' but the closet you step into becomes a gateway to a place where you never thought you would find yourself.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Swearing, age gap (Ari is in his mid-40s, Reader is in her early to mid-30s), use of pet names (Bubbles, Kitten), smut { public sex (in a sex club), voyeurism kink, exhibitionism kink, daddy kink, multiple orgasms, finger sucking, fingering, oral (m receiving), face fucking, threesome, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), spit roasting, squirting, cockwarming, implied aftercare }.

A/N | This one shot is written for Jamie's Halloween Challenge 2023, hosted by @jtargaryen18. I had an absolute blast writing this one, and I hope you will all enjoy it as much as I did when writing 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 🧡

Divider is made by @firefly-graphics | Header & 18+ banner are made by yours truly

Main Masterlist | Ari Levinson Masterlist

Tony has invited you and your fiancé Ari to his annual Halloween party with a costume competition. You may not have won first prize, but coming in second dressed as Morticia and Gomez Addams still felt pretty damn good.

Ari looks stunning in a black pinstripe suit tailored to the gods, his hair dyed black and slicked back, and a black mustache found its home on his face. You're wearing a tight black dress, a long black wig, and the signature Morticia make-up look to finish it all off.

The party was wild already, but you always joined for the afterparty, which was even better. Fewer people are in attendance, making it much more intimate, which you like.

You and Ari are seated on a loveseat, cuddled into his side, his arm around your shoulders protectively. The other Avengers and their significant others are spread out over the rest of the couches and seats, with Tony standing as he proposes a game.

''What do we say to a few rounds of Truth or Dare... but with a twist?!'' he says with a devilish grin, and that alone was enough to send shivers down your spine.

Everyone agreed, but he explained it wouldn't be a typical game but a drinking game. Obviously.

''One of you chooses either a truth or a dare, but if you decide not to want to answer, you must take two shots. If you do answer the truth or perform the dare, the rest of us must take one shot,'' he says, and you can already feel your hangover coming on, but that would be a problem for future you.

Tony immediately turns to you and Ari, seeing you're the newest couple in the room. Tonight is the first time they've met Ari, after all.

''Let's start with you two lovebirds!'' Tony exclaims, and you can already feel your stomach drop, closing your eyes in the hope that Tony changes his mind, but he doesn't.

''Are you okay, Bubbles?'' Ari asks as he looks at you, worry visible on his face as he goes to sit up a little more, allowing you to get a little more comfortable.

''Yeah, don't worry. It's not my first rodeo,'' you say, and you give Ari a soft but passionate kiss on his lips, which is met by a lot of cheering from other Avengers.

When you pull away, your lips are slightly puffy from the kiss, and Ari has a very content smile when he sees it.

''Right, back to me now,'' Tony says, grabbing everyone's attention.

''Truth or dare?'' he asks, and you choose dare, knowing he probably won't go too crazy now that it's still relatively early if you don't count the drinks he's already had so far.

''Dare,'' you sigh and smile, hopefully making it look like you're enjoying yourself to the rest of them.

''I dare you two-'' he says, pointing towards you and Ari, ''-to 7 minutes in heaven in the closet,'' Tony tells you.

''What are we? Fucking teenagers? You have to be kidding me, Tony,'' you raise your voice, but Ari stops you as you get up and walk away.

''Bubbles, it's only 7 minutes, and it's not like we've never had a make-out session before,'' he says, which has your heart beating faster at the thought, and a smile tugs on the corners of your mouth.

''Okay, I'll do it,'' you say, pulling Ari up from the couch, and he gets up gracefully before walking after you and towards the closet. It's a short walk since it's in the same room, and when you open the doors, you step in, but Ari has to lean his head down not to hit his head.

It's a squeeze, and when you try to make a little room for Ari, you hit a panel behind you with your elbow, which opens the back of the closet like two doors swinging open.

Both of you turn your heads to the opening and the sight before you take your breath away for a few seconds.

''Is that-''

''A sex club? Absolutely,'' Ari answers before you can even finish your sentence.

Ari stepped through the portal after grabbing your hand and pulling you in with him. Suddenly, he was wearing tight-fitting jeans without a shirt, and you wore a short skirt, a crop top, and thigh-high boots, leaving nothing to the imagination.

Everywhere you look, you see people talking or making out; in the darker corners, you can see people having oral sex or being worked open with fingers, and in the middle of the club are multiple couches, chairs, and tables used to have sex on.

From just two people and threeways to an orgie, your eyes scan past everyone in the room, and you can feel your panties growing wetter with the second.

The music is drowned out by people moaning and whining, skin slapping against skin, and dirty talk here and there. You need to figure out where to look since this is your first time in a club like this.

''Are you liking what you see, Bubbles?'' Ari whispers in your ear as he stands behind you, and you can feel his erection pressing into your back, noticing how he's fully hard.

A soft whine escapes your lips as his big hands slide from your waist up to your breasts, which he cups gently, enveloping them with his long fingers.

The slick between your thighs only grows as you feel his fingers on your body, his lips trailing kisses on your neck as he leaves a small trail of goosebumps in their path.

''A-Ari,'' you gasp, but he immediately stops his kisses.

''You know that's not what I want you to call me, Kitten,'' he says sternly, and you close your eyes as a shiver runs down your spine, leaving full-body goosebumps.

''Sorry, Daddy,'' you say, and Ari's cock twitches at the word, serving to make him even harder, not that you thought that would be possible. You also get off on it, and you feel your panties dampen as he walks you forward to an empty armchair.

You can't tear your eyes away from everything happening around you, and you can't help but feel aroused. You didn't know you had such a thing for being a voyeur until now, and it only feeds the exhibitionism kink you already know you have.

If there's one thing you and Ari love doing is having sex in (semi-)public places; the thrill of possibly getting caught only makes it hotter, but you never considered a place like this.

Ari sits down in the armchair with a soft grunt after letting his hands slide off your body, and he turns you around so your ass is pointed at him.

''Sit down for me, Kitten, and spread those beautiful legs for everyone to see,'' he says, and you do just that, hooking your legs on the outside of his so you're spreading wide for him.

Your skirt is hiked up and is now on your waist by the motion, showing your blue thong to everyone wanting to look.

''Hmm, this color looks perfect on you, Kitten. Too bad it's all soaked and ruined now, huh?'' Ari teases, and his hands ghost over your inner thighs, making you whimper softly when he comes closer to your pussy, but avoiding it each time.

''Daddy, please don't tease me,'' you say with a pout as you lean your head against his shoulder, but he doesn't look at your face, instead focussing on the blue lace between your legs.

''Alright, Kitten, but only because you asked so sweetly,'' he says, and his fingers glide to the edge of your panties, pushing them down and discarding them in front of you both before making you spread wide again, showing your glistening cunt for the entire club to see.

''Hmm, such a perfect pussy for everyone to see,'' Ari groans softly, and his long, thick fingers rub through your folds, gathering some slick before he brings them to your mouth, letting you suck all of your slick off them.

You moan around his fingers, and your eyes fly shut, your pussy clenching around nothing at the taste of yourself on his fingers. He shoves them deeper into your mouth, and you keep sucking on them, and you feel Ari's cock twitch slightly in his pants.

When you've lubed them enough for his liking, he pulls them out of your mouth and repeats the same motion, but this time he finds your clit and rubs small circles while you moan loudly, making several people turn their heads to you.

''Daddy, please! Want your fingers,'' you beg, but he doesn't listen yet; he wants you to beg just a little more.

''You want my fingers? You need to beg louder so everyone can hear what you want,'' Ari says with a mischievous smile, and you immediately obey.

''Please, Daddy, can I have your fingers in my pussy? Am a good girl for you,'' you beg, and this time, Ari gives in, pushing two fingers into your entrance with a loud squelching sound that has you moaning loudly.

''Fuck!'' you force out as he bottoms out with his fingers, and he sets a steady pace, driving them in and out of you repeatedly as his other hand rubs your clit, working you towards your first orgasm of the night.

''You're such a good girl for me, letting everyone look at how good Daddy makes you feel. You're the perfect slut for Daddy tonight,'' he tells you, and his words make you preen.

''Yeah, 'm Daddy's little slut'' you reply, and Ari works his fingers faster until you're eyes roll back into your head, and the squelching sound is so loud it's all you can focus on as your orgasm washes over you.

With a loud whine, you let Ari work through your orgasm until you're bordering overstimulation, and you push his hands away, which he then brings to your mouth so you can clean them.

''T-Thank you, D-Daddy,'' you pant as you've come down enough, and Ari smiles as multiple pairs of eyes are on the two of you, but you don't even attempt to close your legs; you just want to spread them wider so they can get a perfect view of your glistening folds.

Ari lifts your shirt over your head to expose your bra, but that is also swiftly taken off, and now you're entirely bare for everyone to see. Your nipples are pebbled to total hardness, and Ari can't help but tug on them to tease a little.

''Daddy!'' you say in a bit of a scolding tone, but it makes you feel good.

''How about you make Daddy feel good now, huh? Be a good girl for Daddy and get down on your knees so you can suck me off with that perfect, tight mouth of yours,'' he says, and you immediately get off his legs and find your place between his legs, your back arching, and your legs spread slightly.

Your fingers undo the button and zipper of his jeans quickly, and he lifts himself a little so his pants can slide off, only to reveal he's wearing nothing underneath them.

A soft whine leaves your throat as his erection springs free, but it's so big and heavy it doesn't stand upright; instead, it points forward, with a slight curve to the right.

''C'mon, Kitten, make Daddy feel g-good,'' he stutters as your hand wraps around his base; your lips immediately find their home around his tip, and you suckle softly.

''Fucking hell,'' Ari groans out as you take more and more of him in your mouth and down your throat, working past your gag reflex.

His breathing gets more erratic, and when you look up, you can see a small layer of sweat forming on his chest and face, showing you how good you make him feel right now.

One of your hands is softly squeezing the base of his cock as the other massages and rolls his balls just the way he likes, his hands clutching the arms of the chair to not cum right away.

Your hips involuntarily rut into nothing, and you feel yourself clenching around nothing, but you can tell Ari's close to his orgasm.

''You want to swallow my cum like a good cumslut?'' Ari asks, and you look up at him as you nod so he fists one of his hands into your hair before holding your head still and setting the pace with his hips, fucking your face with loud groans until he shoots every last drop down your throat, forcing you to swallow it all.

When he lets you go, you let go with a wet pop, and your jaw is already sore, and your mascara is running down your face from the tears you've shed as he fucked your face.

After Ari's come down from his high, he got up and pulled you over to an empty couch, where he placed you on your hands and knees to fuck you the way you like.

''I've got a little surprise for you, Kitten,'' Ari says as he pulls you up to his chest, and you feel his cock poke you in your back.

He turns your head with his hand to show you who's walking over to the two of you, and you see none other than Tony Stark himself walk up to you, completely naked, his cock standing at attention against his belly.

He's shorter and less thick than Ari, but it would still be a stretch, no matter what hole he would get to use.

''Do you want us both to make you feel good?'' he asks, and you nod enthusiastically, slick dripping down your thighs and onto the leather couch beneath you.

''Are you going to let Tony fuck this amazing mouth while I fuck your tight pussy until you can't stop cumming for us? We're going to fucking ruin you, Kitten, and you'll enjoy every second of it if you say yes,'' Ari whispers in your ear, and you're getting only more excited.

''Please, Daddy! Please ruin me,'' you say confidently, and he lets you drop forward, catching yourself with your arms before your face hits the couch.

Ari pulls your hips up a little, and you wiggle in his grasp to show you're ready. And he lines up with your entrance while Tony takes his position before you.

''Look at you, such a perfect little slut who just wants to be fucked from all sides, huh? Does that make you feel horny to be treated like a cumslut for us?'' Tony asks, and you say a soft yes before Ari pushes into you, the stretch feeling like a pleasant burn like always.

You lift your head, letting Tony line up with your mouth before pushing in, and he tastes so vastly different from Ari but not unpleasant.

Both men slide into you simultaneously, and the pleasure almost becomes too much, your orgasm creeping closer quickly.

When Ari bottoms out, he lets you adjust around him until you're not clenching around him, and when he starts pulling out and thrusting back in, Tony does the same, and both men are making you feel like you're not even inside your own body anymore.

They set a different pace - Tony being a little sloppy and rough, Ari being slow and passionate, almost as if he's making love to you. This is precisely what sends you over the edge the first time, and Ari throws his head back with a loud groan as you clench around his cock.

''Jesus, Kitten, you squeeze Daddy so good when you cum,'' he grits out as he thrusts again, picking up his pace while Tony keeps the same speed, his hands in your hair as you let him fuck your face for pleasure.

Both men groan and grunt as they use you as their fucktoy, and with the way Ari keeps hitting your sweet spot inside you repeatedly, it doesn't take long for you to cum again, this time with more force, and Ari is determined to pull one more from your body before even thinking of cumming himself.

''Fuck, she's squeezing me so good,'' Ari tells Tony, and you hollow your cheeks to make Tony feel fabulous too, and it works because before he can stop himself, he's shooting his seed into your mouth and throat while you swallow every last drop.

He doesn't pull out once he's done but instead lets himself soften in your mouth as Ari sets a relentless pace, but his fingers find your clit this time. He rubs them just a little, but you're already bordering overstimulation, and you cum again, this time squirting all over the couch, his legs, and his cock.

''Fucking hell, such a perfect little slut when you squirt for me. Good girl,'' he emphasizes as he thrusts back in, this time chasing his own high with rapid thrusts.

You moan around Tony's soft cock, and the vibrations make him feel good, and you feel little beads of pre-cum drip onto your tongue.

''Gonna pump you full of my cum, Kitten. Got so much cum just for you and your tight cunt,'' Ari growls, and with a few more sloppy thrusts, he comes with a roar, and many people in the club look at the burly man fucking into you while you're cockwarming another man with your mouth.

You've never felt so good, and when Ari pulls out, Tony lets go too, but you have never felt this empty before. Tony doesn't say goodbye before walking away, but you're too far gone to notice it.

Ari pulls you into his lap and whispers sweet nothings as you both come down from your highs before he feeds you some bits of chocolate and lets you drink some water.

You want to stay in your spot forever, but you know that's not an option, so when it's time to go back, you let Ari carry you to the portal back to the normal world.

Before stepping through, he puts you down and pulls you in for a deep, passionate kiss to thank you for everything that happened.

When you pull apart, you surprise him with one last question, which he never thought he'd ever hear you say.

''What do you think, shall we visit a club like this in the real world, too?'' you whisper in his ear, and Ari wholeheartedly agrees before the two of you walk through.

In that world, you were still naked, but once you're back in the closet, you're both wearing your Halloween costumes, although they look messy now.

Ari grabs the back of your neck and pulls you in for one more deep kiss, his tongue instantly working into your mouth when the closet doors open, and the sight of Tony greets you in his Halloween costume.

''Alright, lovebirds, 7 minutes are over!'' he says, but it feels like you two have been gone for hours, not just 7 minutes.

''Are you sure it's been 7 minutes?'' you ask, confused, and Tony lets out a deep, rumbling laugh.

''Why did you want us to lock you into the closet for the rest of the night? You can always go to your bedroom if you want to climb your tree,'' he jokes with a wink, and you slap him against his chest sternly.

''Behave yourself, Stark!'' you say, but you look over at Ari and see him shooting you a wink. You two might have had the time of your lives in that closet, but no one would ever find out, and you've got a new tradition for the two of you.

[asteroidzzzn]

dance, baby!

pairing: dancer!reader x soccer!ellie

warnings: cursing, reader is delulu and very anxious

word count: 1.6k

a/n: fear not this is definitely not a self insert bc im a dancer whattttttt lol... first fic im posting to tumblr im nervous!

summary: show days were always nerve-racking no matter what. the chaos backstage, constant injuries, and pressure to impress your instructors. it definitely didn't ease your nerves to see that ellie williams had showed up, and was sitting in the front row.

༊*·˚

while the techies adjusted the lighting in the box, you and your friends peeked through the curtains at the murmuring audience beginning to take their seats.

"oh my god, almost all the seats are full!" your friend whispered beside you.

"yeah..." you trailed off, scanning the audience for familiar faces. you giggled when jade pointed out your math teacher in the third row, and your history teacher in the fifth who had brought his two daughters.

you fell silent when your gaze fell to the first row, near the dead center of the stage. ellie williams. she told you she would be sure to come see you dance, but you didn't expect her to actually follow through.

jade poked your side when she noticed your expression.

"hey, you ok? i know it's a lot of people watching but we'll do great."

"i'm fine," you backed away from the curtains. "we should start warming up." she agreed and followed you to the green room. as you walked, your mind wandered to the last time you saw ellie.

ellie made herself comfortable by immediately falling to your bed one the two of you arrived. as you took out your chromebook and notes to begin working on your project, she studied your room.

"sorry it's a bit messy, i didn't plan to have anyone over," you softly spoke up, slightly embarrassed that a girl you just met saw the clutter in your room. especially a pretty girl.

"dude if you think this is messy, you should see mine," she snickered. suddenly her eyebrows raised at the sight of your trophies, medals, and plaques presented on the top of your dresser.

"woah, what's all that for?"

"oh, they're all from dance," you shrugged.

"no way, this one has your name inscribed on it! that's so cool."

you smiled at how amused she was. it was cute.

"are you in the shows the school does? "

you nodded and pushed your chromebook screen slightly down, finding talking to her already more interesting than the project you were supposed to be working on.

"there's a show coming up soon, actually. i'm pretty nervous. we're going all the way to the rose."

her head tilted to the side, as if to ask what that was. you explained the theatre's significance, and whatever more she asked after that. within thirty minutes, she knew all the drama between the dance team, and basically your whole backstory regarding dancing.

she gushed about soccer, and you both found you were unexpectedly very similar. extremely dedicated to your crafts, having the best friends on the best teams, and the shittiest coaches in the universe.

your schoolwork was long forgotten at the foot of the bed as you two laid on your backs staring at the ceiling lit up by glowing star stickers.

"so, your shows this weekend?"

"yeah."

"what's it about."

"ellie, it's december, and this is a dance show. think very carefully."

"umm, christmas themed?"

you laughed, "it's the nutcracker."

"that seems awesome. are you the main girl? y'know, the one that cracks the nuts."

she giggled at her choice of words while you rolled your eyes.

"no, it's always the same girl every year. i'm in the russian, snow, and rats."

she slapped the bed with a gasp and sat up. "oh my god. now i have to see it. you jumping around in a rat costume will be hilarious."

your hands covered your face as you laughed, "no, you can't go see it! that's embarrassing."

"i'll be front row recording. and i'll give money to your dance team, so you should be happy."

"ugh, i'm gonna kill myself," you attempt to sound upset at what you thought was an empty promise, but you can't seem to chase away the smile that appears whenever she speaks.

to be honest, you couldn't understand why you were so nervous. ellie was just another one of your friends at your show. nothing more. just a friend that you had talked to once. that paid $25 to see you dance. and drove 40 minutes to a fancy theatre.

you groaned. i'm so delusional, you thought. everything is fine.

you only danced in the second act, so you decided to sit backstage and read a book to pass the time.

as you lounged on a prop couch, you heard a shriek coming from the wings. you placed your book down and cautiously entered sidestage, and a small crowd started to trickle in.

your heart dropped when you saw jade wincing and sobbing while clutching her ankle. your instructor barged in behind you, shoving past the group of worried girls surrounding jade. the show was only on the party scene, where jade—who played fritz and many other important roles in the show—just ran off.

"what is going on here?" she hissed, grabbing jade and pulling her into the green room.

jade sniffled as she stumbled through the door. "i twisted my ankle...i'm sorry."

the instructor sighed, attempting to release some tension.

"don't apologize, it happens. but who will be fritz for the rest of the show? you're also the lead for russian, so you need to get to teaching one of your friends your choreography and quick."

jade nodded rapidly.

you were both terrified and honored that you were her first choice as an understudy.

jade hugged you one final time in the wings before your cue.

"you're gonna do amazing," she whispered in your ear, rubbing your back soothingly. she pulled away and squeezed your shaking hands.

"you know this. you're the fastest learner i know. go out there and kill it."

you shut your eyes and exhaled. you nodded and turned away, prepping to run onto stage.

the overhead light turned purple. yellow. white. you were on stage. it was thrilling. horrifying. the lights blinded you as you kept your eyes as far away from the audience as possible. as far away from her as possible.

but you couldn't resist. you desperately needed to know what ellie looked like as she watched you.

her eyes sparkled under the lights. she was dangerously close to you, leaning forward in her seat, which allowed you to catch a glimpse at the hint of a smile. she seemed utterly entranced by you.

but, you allowed yourself to look for a second too long. as you attempted to rise onto the top of your box to finish off the last set of turns in the dance, the stage failed you. your foot slipped out from underneath you and you came tumbling down, landing on your back.

you swiftly rose up, placed your arms in the ending position, propped one knee up, and gave the audience a smile, as if it was the plan all along to end up on the floor.

you rushed side stage after curtsying a final time, and your lungs felt as if they were on fire. tears stained your perfectly made-up face, and your head spun.

it was extremely embarrassing that the only thought on your mind at the time was about ellie.

you needed fresh air.

the halls were crowded with dancers rushing towards the lobbies to greet their loved ones that came to watch. you pushed through the people and pried the back door open.

you let out a huge sigh of relief as the cold wind hit your face. you slowly sunk to the concrete and rested your head on your knees, attempting to take deep breaths.

after about ten minutes of intermission had passed, you shot up, realizing you almost fell asleep. the past few hours were packed with so much stress it had you completely exhausted.

you pressed your hands on the floor and stood up, reaching for the door back into the dressing room. you paused when you saw someone peek around the corner of the brick wall.

you froze when you saw ellie cautiously step into the breezeway, holding something in her hands. oh my god. did she get flowers?

your mind rushed with questions and thoughts, simply staring at her now standing in front of you, flowers in hand.

you decided on, "those for me?"

ellie chuckled nervously.

"yeah, i saw everyone else getting them, so i figured i would too. they were pretty cheap and they're the same color as your tutu..." she gestured between the blue flowers and your costume, "i thought you'd like them. i know it's only the middle of the show, so it's actually kinda weird, i guess, but..." she appeared unsure of herself as she spoke. you hoped she could see the harsh blush that suddenly grew on your cheeks as a sign that you loved them.

"i- wow, thank you. trust me i don't think it's weird. i didn't even expect you to show up, to be honest..." you grabbed the flowers and began fidgeting with the petals.

"well i'm glad i did. it's really cool. and the snow part was beautiful."

you scoffed. "yeah, i'm sure i was the most gorgeous dancer on stage with that graceful landing."

she frowned when you quickly wiped your eyes. "you're really hard on yourself, i thought it was still great. and you pulled it off better than i ever could've."

you tilted your head down to hide the smile growing on your face, leaving a slight pause. "i should head back now, i'm sure my friend jade wants to see me."

she nodded and stepped back, swaying on her feet. "yeah, yeah... i'll... see you later, good luck." she began walking to the front of the auditorium.

"thank you again, ellie," you called out to her before disappearing behind the metal door.

as soon as you entered the dressing room, your back pressed against the door, hands clutching the small bouquet, and heart racing.

what was that!?

༊*·˚

a/n: aw they're awkward everyone point and laugh! this was supposed to be a one shot, but i got carried away, so part 2 soon! any feedback is greatly appreciated (*^▽^*) also fun fact this whole thing is based on how my friend got asked out by their now gf, how adorable i love them. for reference, i imagine ellie and reader in this as 15,16,17 ish so in high school, but u can picture whatever floats ur boat, it's just a more innocent and lighthearted little story (✿◠‿◠)

[yuurei20]

Cater Info Compilation part 1: Secret Inner Life

We are given several hints that there is more depth to Cater than he wants people to know about. His lab wear vignette is particularly interesting: tasked with infusing mandrakes with magic, Vil, Lilia and Cater agree to “make mandrakes that are totally on-brand” for themselves.

Cater’s first attempt is “an ultra-pink mandrake with big, round eyes”. Vil expresses surprise, saying “I never knew your tastes trended so feminine, Cater”, but Cater insists that they don’t: it is the influence of his two older sisters.

“In the Diamond household, everything’s judged by one simple question: ‘But is it cute?’. Day in and day out, no matter what I did, if it wasn’t cute, it didn’t cut the mustard! Drawings, handicrafts, store-bought sweets, you name it! So I guess I’ve got ‘make it cute’ burned into my brain as a first instinct.”

(This is why the word “cute” comes up so often in Cater’s original dialogue, which NA sometimes removes or rewrites, despite being a significant character trait.)

This also possible connects to Firelit Sky where Jamil notices that Cater isn’t buying any souvenirs for himself. Based on Cater’s name brand phone case and bag, he recommends a shop more for locals than tourists, and a salmon pink scarf.

When Cater explains “It’s not really a color I usually go for…” (due to how cuteness has been imposed onto him his entire life), Jamil explains that he “thought a softer color suited (Cater’s) personality”, as he is “so friendly and easy to get along with."

Jamil says, "You give off a gentle vibe….I’ve been grateful for your and Trey’s steadying presence today.” Cater is surprised, saying “That’s really how I come off?…I didn’t know you saw me that way”, but ultimately does buy the scarf.)

Cater’s next mandrake has “a deep crimson coloration with a card pattern” that “almost looks like it’s holding a guitar”, but his third mandrake is described as “hugging its knees and huddling in place”. Lilia comments, “Perhaps Cater’s sunny disposition belies a morose side that the rest of us never see”, but Cater insists that they he is “reading too much into this”. Cater successfully presents three mandrakes, “a skipping one, a flashy, bright-red one…and one rolling on the table laughing”.

When Vil says that he saw Cater make more than the three required for the assignment, Cater insists that they are the only ones he has. When Crewel calls Cater out for socializing in class Vil and Lilia claim he “should take class more seriously”, despite being equally guilty (“The key to being a good performer is knowing when to leave the stage”).

Cater defends himself by presenting three more mandrakes that he had been trying to hide, saying, “It just doesn’t say Cay-Cay if it’s not happy enough to life people’s spirits”.

Cater says he is “a party boy at heart”, but also, “Just between you and me, keeping a smile plastered on my face for hours on end at a party is a exhausting. Ah, just kidding there, really!” and “You wanna know more about me, huh? I can’t go giving away ALL my secrets.”

In a voice line Silver says “Cater’s very cheery and upbeat…which is why the sinister expression he wore in costume sent a chill down my spine”. Trey says, “Cater won’t stop asking me if there’s a trick to growing taller. I keep telling him I have no idea, but he never gives up", insinuating that his height might be a sensitive topic for Cater.

He has a voice line that says, “Sometimes I’ve got no clue what’s going through your head. Whaddya mean, “pot, meet kettle”? I’m plenty easy to understand!”

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

so i've seen a post that says that you can't say that karna gets treated better than arjuna, and that karna is haunted by arjuna in the narrative. I can't reblog the post but I respectfully disagree with it and I'm going to explain why.

the first point is fate/apocrypha. in this, karna compares siegfried to an opponent he once knew during their duel. in the post, it's argued that he projected siegfried onto arjuna and that's now his main interest throughout the series. however, karna's main interest in the series isn't just seigfried (although he did want to fight him again, which is why he fights sieg) but rather to have strong battles in general. it's also ignoring his confrontations with vlad, his decision to stay with the red faction and why (to protect the master he is no longer contracted to) and his interactions with Semiramis and Amakusa. his comparison of siegfried with arjuna, while significant, is not so massive that you can accurately say that it negates every other aspect of his characterization in the story. the most important thing it achieved is that it makes him very interested in fighting him, and when he decides he wants siegfried as a rival and the saber dies he later challenges sieg as he can channel the warrior. its disingenuous to say that arjuna is haunting karna's narrative when he doesnt appear at all beyond a single offhand remark.

the next point is that arjuna gets the costumes. this one is just wrong? karna has two costumes, although i hesitate to call the second one a proper costume. Burning Garment of Three Gods is in fact the first free story costume you receive in fgo, unlike most other costumes which you receive through limited time events, and the glasses costume is from an event where he again gets a (minor) role. while both arjuna's alts have a costume each that doesnt negate karna having costumes?

the next thing is a bit rough. 'arjuna gets the character arcs in fgo.' this one is true. its also because arjuna is the fgo original and karna had 2 previous fate entries to receive characterization in, so him receiving it was less of an required focus than it was for a brand new character who had nothing. at the same time, i do agree that karna needs to have more done with him in the game.

the next one is also very rough. in it, the op mentions that arjuna got a lostbelt that karna received poor treatment in. I do agree that how karna was treated, namely being dead for most of the chapter and only brought back for one big battle before being killed again was very poor handling. however....arjuna alter was also really poorly handled? he was offscreen for most of the lostbelt, his motivations were both incredibly unclear and required you to have played the interlude of another ssr, he was given no depth of character or internal consistency, and they didnt give you any greater understanding of who he was or why he behaved the way he did. he is generally agreed among most fate fans to be the most weakly written of the lostbelt kings, and its in part because rather than tell us anything about arjuna's life, indian history or mythology, or the mahabharata, they once again retrod the karna vs arjuna plotline. just because he's the lostbelt king doesnt mean he was done better than karna-if anything, his treatment was potentially worse because while karna's one dimensional handling set him up as a noble hero, arjuna alter's set him up as an unreasonable villain. saying that karna is used as a crutch for arjuna requires also acknowledging how arjuna is constantly and consistently used to enhance karna since the minute he was added to fgo, which is how you get titles he was never called by like 'the endowned hero' (it may be a poor translation of one of his actual names, Dhanañjaya, which means one who conquered wealth and gold but i doubt it) and why one of the first things that's mentioned whenever arjuna shows up is that he killed karna, when thats only one of his achievements and not even the most notable one.

which brings me to my next point: karna is handled one dimensionally in fgo. but it is always as a misunderstood hero, and arjuna is primarily handled as his supporting cast, whether as a jealous villan or long suffering straightman. if you are going to show frustration at people who are glad arjuna got content independently of karna, you need to acknowledge that out of the 23 odd events and story chapters arjuna has showed up in, only around 5 have not also included karna and out of the 8 that arjuna alter has been in, only 4 have not had karna in them. karna has been in 27 events, and 9 have not included arjuna-its not a large amount, but its still the same amount that arjuna and his alter have put together without him. Arjuna in fate, especially at the time of his creation, existed as a supplementary unit to further enhance karna's story as a hero who was oppressed by others, which is how you get things like this

while both their profiles have a heavy focus on the other, karna's talks about his actual life and history to a far higher degree than arjuna's does, while arjuna's fully devolves into his resentment and dislike of karna. he was first as foremost written as 'karna's obsessive rival' to further expand karna and karna specifically, and the later focus on trying to give him more depth was because he was popular and they wanted to do more with him. there was no consideration for who he was historically or his real personality or feats, there was no consideration for what he actually was- they wrote him as a person who would, in his own words 'become the darkness' to karna's light simply for the sake of it

THAT is why fans of arjuna want more content of him independently of karna. is it true that karna has his own issues with his writing? yes! but that doesnt change the fact that for a very long time, arjuna has been twisted from his mythogical origins in fate to make him someone that he simply isnt, and thats what people want to see less of. no amount of poorly executed ssrs or events they both get shortchanged in to emphasis them hitting each other with sticks will change the base issue with arjuna's writing until fate acknowledges this.

and to be clear, i dont think its wrong to be upset that karna doesnt get a lot of in depth expansion in fgo. but that isn't the fault of arjuna, and it's really unfair to try and say that with how often arjuna has been used as a plot device to show how unfairly biased people are at karna

[chairteeth]

Nemu's life as a wheelchair user and how terrible f4 is at portraying it (or, well, Not portraying it)

Buckle up I have a list of PointsTM. I will be going into Japan's history with disability as well as what life is like on a wheelchair.

First though, because I want this to have the intended effect, I recommend going over Nemu's swimsuit costume story again. It is Very Relevant. I recommend you enjoy the fluff of it too, before I dump the depressing thing about it on you. Though I will say I really REALLY appreciate how far Touka always goes to make Nemu feel comfortable and supported and listened to and cared for in every situation and- is shot.

So, apparently this room has a big mirror, and Nemu gets uncharacteristically giddy and we get this scene that Will hurt you. She even says that she finds this just as important as the liberation plan.

They had ALL OF THE SETUP, ALL OF IT. And now I would like to also share a recent analysis of Nemu's wheelchair that I dragged some wheelchair users to do, then I'll start thrashing and yelling about the significance of such a change. For reference we mainly have the sprite right:

I'm going to provide the relevant texts directly for you:

no theres like zero leg support beyond the foot plate and even the way the foot plate is designed implies that she has pretty good motor control over her legs

ya no calf pads or anyting smh

and whats with the armrests those dont look v comfy??

i doubt she needs much body support beyond the walking there's proper cushioning elsewhere, though

I can't see a headrest either, and the backrest is not very high, so I'm pretty sure she just can't walk and everything else is largely fine

Me:

it's a separate continuity, but in the anime Nemu can stand. We don't see her walking but we see her standing a few times, and some of them are at points where she has to have walked at least a little bit, so I definitely think it's not "100% can't walk" but rather something more complex. Even before she was a magical girl we saw her standing in the hospital, though you could argue that was before whatever anime illness she has got worse

huh. that sounds like chronically ill person energy conservation to me at least in the anime. me and (name omitted) do that, were usually on our wheelchairs because a walk to the grocery store may be too much and we might keel over from the pain or exhaustion. what about the game?

Me:

I don't think she can walk at all in the game? The times she's not in her wheelchair, someone is carrying her, iirc. I told you that the cause of it was her shaving away her life force repeatedly, and I've explained the other symptoms, but truth be told, we don't see those other symptoms again post Arc 1 (which I think is just because she's under less stress and not constantly shaving away the aforementioned life force), and we were sadly robbed of any kind of "discovery" scene where we get her actual reaction and yk, her assessing the permanent damage done to her body?

Me:

I told you guys how soul gems work as essentially the girl's soul puppetting her body, right? My personal theory is that she did so much damage to herself that it significantly weakened part of the soul gem-body connection. I thought it may have been severed, but if that were the case, I'm pretty sure her legs would just rot off, since magical girl bodies rot when separated from their soul gems for too long iirc, plus she can feel temperature on them so

WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US ABOUT THE TEMPERATURE THING

Me:

I'M SORRY IT'S AN OBSCURE ASSUMPTION BASED ON A QUOTE OR TWO ABOUT A FUCKING KOTATSU, THEY NEVER FUCKING TALK ABOUT THE DETAILS OF THE LEG THING, I WAS TRYING TO STICK AS CLOSE TO THE TEXT AS POSSIBLE

Me:

she's also never complained about pain from her legs, she's lamented the whole being unable to walk once or twice ("this body of mine can't help in any significant way") but never said a word about pain or other complications. Granted, she's also a people pleaser who would rather put on a stoic face than mildly inconvenience literally anyone

yea then it might just be she cant do the walking motions reliably. didnt you say she has an overprotective gf? The gf may have argued for the wheelchair thing to be on the safe side

mmmmmmmmmm ye sounds about right

They also talked a bit about control pads and wheels but this was the summary one of them gave me:

So in short, Nahi: mobility and feeling all good, but no walkies or will fall on face and fracture skull

With that out of the way, I am going to go on my certified rant about living in a wheelchair. Let's start at the general inaccessibility of Japan. Nemu's wheelchair isn't exactly... compact or foldable from what I can tell so that doesn't help her in the least. Here is a non-exhaustive list of things to consider:

That's the analysis and conclusion of that part, which will help discuss the next one. Now, first of all... I have complained MANY TIMES about our lack of any scene where this permanent damage is revealed to the characters. They skipped over that. Which I thought, oh, okay, maybe we'll get it in a costume story for the wheelchair sprite. We did not get that! And that's important. Because see, Nemu I think might be able to hide her initial raw reaction depending on who was in the room with her. If she was alone or (preferably and probably likeliest) with Touka, she might not hide it, but it has to have sunk in that she would be dead to her family again. And for a character who so desperately wanted to fit in with her family, go camping with them, and presumably do all the outdoorsy and sporty stuff with them, YEAH, A SCENE LIKE THAT WOULD BE NEEDED

especially because Nemu has the tendency to both self-flagellate excessively (Touka also does this) and to hide all of her feelings and suppress them as hard as humanly possible.

- Less maneuverability or no access at all in some places, such as hotel rooms, restaurants, and stores

- Way longer wait times for nearly everything

- The temples are shitty to access because 90% of them have The Stairs, and the parks surrounding them have gravel grounds that make it almost impossible to run a wheelchair through (or at least, it's really hard. Think of when Sakurako had to carry Nemu on the beach, sand/sand-like ground and wheelchairs most often do not mesh, especially electric ones)

- The general congestion of large cities is not good but at least Japanese people tend to be nice and polite about it and try not to bother/touch wheelchair users, however this is unavoidable and oh boy haha rush hour

- In the end a wheelchair user in Japan is pretty limited in what they can do if not accompanied, which absolutely sucks

Streets are often narrow too so gestures at list. Plenty of buildings, especially old ones, are never really upgraded/don't have ramps or accessible elevators either, and I have literally seen a Japanese building that needed you to climb seven steps to get into the elevator?? Okay, alright, I will try not to bitch too hard. If using Yokohama as a base, the thing with large cities is that actually, the subway and train networks are generally good for wheelchair users (though they have to take extra steps and a trip that would take an able-bodied person one hour may take the wheelchair user double that amount of time, plus the station staff will choose your train for you). Everything else however, not so nice, and again The Stairs.

Let's start with showering and bath/general bathroom difficulties. First of all, it's MUCH likelier for a person in Nemu's position to slip and hurt themselves in the shower/bath, not even likely to be able to stop their own fall because Legs No Worky, secondly washing up unassisted when you're in a wheelchair both takes longer and is difficult/inconvenient, particularly if you don't have a specific chair or other thing to help you in the tub/shower (I am unsure if her family would be agreeable to this or if she'd even ask). For Nemu's benefit we are going to go with my interpretation that magical girls do not have periods, because otherwise oh dear god well that's way worse! But yes there's that whole complication and see, if you live with your family you have people you can ask for help. However we are talking about Nemu, and Nemu would rather starve under a bridge than ask for help (in 99% of cases). We have a section for internal effects of leg loss don't you worry but like, girl already felt like a burden before, imagine how she feels now when she actually does have to depend on others occasionally. Showering/bathing must be an absolute nightmare every single day for the poor girl. You don't realize how much you rely on walking and having usable legs inside the house until you lose that ability.

Now I go on the funny historical tangent! Around the 1960s in Japan, there was an increase in disabled children being separated from their families and placed in residential institutions, many of which were converted from the ones built for disabled veterans after WW2. At the age of 18, many of these children were then transferred to adult facilities where they would remain until death. As you may be able to imagine, these institutions were not great! Cue many many MANY human rights violations, including child residents being used as guinea pigs for their doctors in surgical procedures and disgusting amounts of incidents of sexual abuse towards female residents

the traditional Japanese notion that disabled people should be hidden by their families like a shameful secret was veeeeery prevalent! That is why these places even existed. Those beliefs are, Still ShiftingTM so to speak but it is much better now because hey at least they finally have an anti-discrimination law. By "finally" I mean that ten years ago they did not have one. You see, the literal basic anti-discrimination act for people with disabilities in Japan only came into effect in 2016 (for the reference of the Americans who may not know and for an easy example, in the US, the same thing happened in 1990, which is still recent-ish but not, "less than ten years ago" recent). That's only eight years ago. So let's not even talk about how VERY highly Not Possible a fully wheelchair-adapted/comfortable home would be in Japan. It ain't great chief, basic programs are still being implemented, and I highly doubt people are very widely educated on the matter unless it affects them personally. I think that is most of the funny historical tangent, so... time for me to talk about adapting to life on a wheelchair.

This leads me into another very funny thing: reach. Imagine having short person struggles. Okay, now imagine your height is cut in half and you have to be sitting down for everything. Who wants to bet you are now unable to reach A LOT of the things at home? Bathroom setups vary so that one you can circumvent, however! Consider the following: Nemu displays an enjoyment of cooking. Have you ever tried to sit down in front of most kitchen counters? They are pretty high up from that position. Which is fine when you're maybe just resting on the chair but can stand up/take steps around, but when you can't... well. Cooking just got a whole lot more inconvenient and complicated! Nemu seems to keep doing it, so I imagine she's figured out the kitchen table hack (kitchen tables are often lower than the counters and therefore often used to do the prep work instead of the counter because it's more comfortable). This still does not account for the stove but we haven't heard of Arc 2 Nemu cooking solo, only either with her mom or Sakurako, so I assume Nemu's family has the decency not to send her to make dinner like they do in Arc 1.

On the topic of short reach, have you ever realized how inconvenient doorknobs can be if you're sitting down? And doors in general when it's not so easy to move, really. This is more the case for those with less grip strength or less mobility than Nemu, but doorknobs are still generally placed high enough to be inconvenient, doors depending on how they open can be annoying (though sliding doors I've heard are better, so long as they're not too heavy), and let's not even talk about the heavy-ish doors that you have to push against. Because while that might be easy outside of a wheelchair... not so much on a wheelchair. The inconvenience of doors and doorknobs aside though, and back to public transport for a second, you cannot be spontaneous. According to a couple of Japanese wheelchair users I gnawed at for the purpose of research, you need to warn literally everyone at least 30 minutes in advance if you want to be able to board a train. If something comes up or is urgent, I assure you, you won't be able to hop on whatever train or taxi you want.

For Nemu in particular taxis may not be possible, but f4 ignores this really hard (like most things that have to do with Nemu's disability, given that it is acknowledged as a thing that exists LIKE TWICE after the initial timeskip scene at the end of Arc 1, mainly in Christmas string where she laments not being able to help with physical labor in any significant way due to "This Body Of Mine" [she's very dramatic about it but also this is an important hint to how she actually feels now that she's experienced at the very least months of living like this and now that she's alone with Touka instead of self-flagellating in public]). In Mokyu's MGS, I remember that moment when Touka calls for a taxi very much On The Spot and they both get on to follow Mokyu, seemingly very fast, and I was just like "????". I'm not really sure that's... a thing they can do that easily, f4...

But anyway, how about another item? Let's talk clothing. This is also not something able-bodied people usually consider or think about, but clothing generally was not designed for sitting. It will likely never fit right for wheelchair users, and many pieces of clothing may not even be comfortable, not to mention they may not be able to wear a lot of things (such as long/drapey fabrics that could interfere with movement, whether of the wheels, the control pad, or their bodies), and depending on how much mobility they have, changing itself can be another nightmare to do unassisted, or at least, it takes longer and takes more effort (we will get back to the "effort" part soon). This depends, sure, but it's often worse for kids and teenagers because they're still growing. It's okay though, I'm sure Touka would be really offended about this and would just take Nemu to get clothing custom made. What a good partner. The clothing issue is often overlooked, but Very Much A Thing. Some pants are not comfy to sit in for long periods of time, or maybe they fit well when you're standing but not when you're sitting... imagine only ever sitting.

I think I've made my point with the clothing aspect so let's move on to ANOTHER THING! Yes, I have more. Some things like transferring may be more inconvenient in Japan than they would be in the West. Transferring, in case you're not aware, is what a wheelchair user moving themselves from their wheelchair to another place to sit (such as a dining table chair, if they want, or a sofa), or back to the wheelchair, is called. It may be more inconvenient in Japan because well, The Floor. Transferring largely relies on upper body strength in most cases, and see, you can park a wheelchair next to a sofa or other chair and move yourself there reeelatively easily, but the floor may be a bit harder due to the difference in elevation from surface to surface. Once again, it depends on the specifics of the wheelchair user in question, overall. I've heard a couple of people say that the floor is Very Bad to transfer to and from, but one of them has mobility issues in the upper body and the other has arm weakness (he can only get back up because he's able to push a little bit with his legs).

For Nemu there's also the possible school complications, but I have not looked much into how accessible Japanese schools are for students on wheelchairs, though I do want to call a bit of attention to how we've seen Touka at school in Arc 2 but never Nemu, and I feel like that might be one of the reasons. Studying from home I suppose could be an option, though it would be iffy to me because of the whole part about being stuck inside and hidden away.

Before I move on to other things, let me. Talk about this other thing. That is specifically heartbreaking for Nemu. That being physical intimacy (we're talking hugs and the like, people, don't get ahead of yourselves). Quick quiz question for you to think about before I answer it, have you ever thought of how to comfortably hug a wheelchair user?

Normally, when put on the spot, the typical able-bodied person who has never thought about it says that well, you can just bend over to hug them! And while that kind of works, that is not exactly a "full hug" and also requires more effort and more Going Out Of Your Way on the able-bodied person's part than a hug to an able-bodied person that you can just easily walk up to and hug without any adjustment, which makes it less likely that the wheelchair user will get casual affection through that. A common one is the hug from the back, which works just like you'd do it for any sitting person, however the hug from the back is not exactly common and depends on how close the two people are. And then there's the other main way to do it, if it doesn't hurt for the wheelchair user. Which is the lap hug. Able-bodied person sits on the wheelchair user's lap and that is how the hug happens. Most wheelchairs should be able to bear the weight, since you have to account for things like carrying groceries or Other Stuff already, so the capacity to bear weight is built-in (some wheelchairs can carry up to 700lbs/317kg). However you will notice that a lap hug is a significant leap in intimacy that not that many people might be comfortable with, particularly in a less touchy culture like Japan. Personally I think Touka is princess enough, has enough of an ego, and enough of a bond/trust with Nemu that she'd have no qualms sitting on her lap, but Yeah. Holding hands is another one that may take a while to adjust to, since it's basically a MASSIVE height difference that you can't bridge, and also walking-walking vs walking-rolling (or whichever verb you prefer for wheelchair users) areeee different let's just say and speed adjustment can also be a bitch

What I'm saying is if poor Nemu was already affection deprived before, It Got Worse. I will touch on this more when I talk about the social consequences losing her legs must've had. To sum this all up so far, it's an entire reevaluation of the world you live in. Things that were once convenient are now inconvenient, or at best, don't help you anymore. People are often stumped as to what to say to you or what to do or how to act around you, especially if you bring up any and all struggles that have to do with the wheelchair thing. It's not Nemu's case but if she had a friend group, that would also mean possible distancing from them due to being unable to do as many activities with them or go to the same places as before. The world is built for the able-bodied, and the effort it takes to just navigate life in a wheelchair can be extremely draining. And SPEAKING OF EFFORT, it is time for the spoon theory! Those of you already familiar with it may skip this part, as I'm simply going to copy and paste from the original creator of the spoon theory, but for anyone who has never heard of the spoon theory, please, do read this part. It may help you understand something extremely important for the daily lives of so many people, and it may even give some of you who the spoon theory does apply to a new tool to use. This is the spoon theory:

As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.

I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn’t seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.

As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.

I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.

She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become.

I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of “spoons”. But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn’t even started yet. I’ve wanted more “spoons” for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus.

I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said ” No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can’t take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too.” I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.

I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s “spoons”, but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less “spoons”. I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on “spoons”, because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.

We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.

When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all.

I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared.”

It's hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count “spoons”.

After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can’t go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said “Don’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted “spoons” and I chose to spend this time with you.”

Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn’t just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don’t take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my “spoons”.

And that folks is the spoon theory. The spoon theory of course applies to wheelchair users. In Nemu's case it's more of a magical affliction and doesn't seem to affect her beyond the part about not being able to walk, however, as we've covered, that part is significant. It takes a mental, physical, and emotional toll. Then, other than this whole thing, there's issues with agency and independence. Yk, being able to live unassisted. I think Nemu could mostly handle it because I mean it's all she's ever done (insert parentification issues and her basically having raised herself, etc etc). Now here is a fun topic. How about social consequences? They are in fact significant as well! We just don't see it as much because Nemu's social life generally starts and ends at Touka, who is arguably the best-equipped person for this. You can bet Touka pulled three all-nighters to do research on this the moment she realized Nemu was not going to recover or at least not in the near future, and we already know she's extremely attentive from what we saw in Arc 1, so. Literally the best possible person for Nemu to hang out with, who will also never try to encroach on her decision-making or her boundaries, never try to take freedom or agency away from her, etc. Unfortunately there are more people around Nemu who may not handle it as gracefully (or well. Whatever Touka is doing. Her stunted social skills are actually a good thing when it comes to this).

Let's go from worst to better: Nemu's family. They are literally not mentioned again after Arc 1's final battle, ever. Not even when Chapter 8 happens. Not at all, zero mentions, at least none as far as I know. Which is concerning. Nemu still speaks fondly of them in Arc 2, from the Christmas quotes, but I mean. Desperate for love. Desperately learning her family's favorite foods and colors, fretting over what gift to get her brother. Which is just extra sad knowing that she's probably dead to them (again). I don't think it's a stretch to say that Nemu's family would have ZERO CLUE how to handle the entire topic. Common reactions are either avoidance/pretending it's not there, or severe awkwardness and hesitation that there is no way the wheelchair user won't notice. Particularly if they're a very perceptive person who pays close attention to the people around them (Nemu). I think Nemu's family might be the avoidance type, since they're allergic to making any effort to get to know her or yk treat her as their daughter instead of, parentifying her to hell and back at best. But let's take another couple of examples: Iroha and Ui.

I think those two might be the awkwardness type. Which is, "I have never encountered this problem and I'm not sure how to go about it but I don't want to hurt or offend this person" and normally leads to general insecurity/anxiety about mentioning specific things around the wheelchair user, or inviting them to things, or assigning tasks to them because the person fears they might hurt themselves/be unable to do what you asked, feel worse, etc. It can manifest in many ways and is normally born out of politeness or genuine personal concern for the other, but alas wheelchair users are not (all) blind, so they do very much notice. On their side it's also awkward and hurtful, in most cases. It's bad too when they get condescended or infantilized or as I mentioned before people take their agency away. It's that thing where you assume the wheelchair user needs help for (insert task) and that you're just being nice by lending them a hand but hey, hey. Maybe ask instead of assuming and moving to do a thing for them that you don't know with 100% is something they need help with. Maybe they don't actually need your help (cough savior/hero complex) and I assure you they appreciate being able to do whatever they can by themselves. Yes, it's well-meaning, but that doesn't mean it won't hurt the wheelchair user or make them feel bad/worse about themselves. The infantilization thing is often related to this too.

Next and last, the inner consequences of a significant loss such as this one. This part is about self-perception, perception in regards to the world and to others, and obviously it ties into Nemu's previously established concerns, fears, and general IssuesTM. This is another "sigh where to begin!" moment for me, because as I have established before, Nemu has major issues. Take literally every issue Nemu has ever had and them pump them full of steroids, then assume that bits of those issues drop off the bigger issue blob and grow into new connected issues. That is what this caused. There is of course a fun set of new issues that relate to the old ones but aren't fully connected as well. That being the feeling of being broken, incomplete, defective. For a person like Nemu whose worth is in considerable part determined by how useful she can be to others, that's not good. She's very much the type to keep things in rather than express them, except the precious scarce few times when we see her alone with Touka (you'll notice that usually we don't get scenes of them alone together save for Christmas String where there was A Pressing Issue to solve, normally it's the rest of the cast going to them for something so it's not exactly the correct atmosphere or moment for a vulnerability moment, Nemu has them, we see some, but they are Very Few).

The one comment from when she and Touka were moving their books out of Touka's private room in the hospital (still real gay of Touka to casually of her own will give Nemu a permanent space in her private room just so she could store her books), the one where she gets all droopy about being unable to help with the whole book moving process? Yeah that's your confirmation that as suspected, yes, she was lying when she said "this is fine" at the end of Arc 1. This is not by any means fine. Sure she has accepted it and thinks she deserves it but this is Nemu "I am to blame for damaging the economy of Japan" Hiiragi (I have a screenshot of when she said this) so like gestures vaguely. By that point in Christmas String, as I said before, she's probably been on a wheelchair for months at the very least, so she's had a chance to experience what that's like, among other things. I can't imagine she feels great about it. While simultaneously thinking her intestines should be bundled up with a pitchfork every day at noon for her sins, of course (insert aforementioned self-flagellation issues). Because she blames herself for literally everything and likely also blames herself every single time her inability to walk leaves her unable to do something she could've done before, and may even push herself beyond what's safe and healthy for her at times. Therefore, internally, yeah, Nemu is way worse than before. FORTUNATELY the stress of the Magius and the physical strain from making uwasa are no longer a thing and she has a safe place to be in every day with her partner who understands and loves her and doesn't even think of any adjustments as "effort" (of course this is nothing for Touka, she's a genius, I can hear the Toukitty saying with her nose up in the air like that). So that is, one good thing. And she can likely read more easily.

Unfortunately, Arc 2 also brings stress and more guilt due to the factions. There's the NM guilt and the PB guilt mainly, but also the stress of the few people they care about besides each other (such as Ui and Iroha) being in mortal danger. And what bothers me is, the way this entire thing affects and stimulates Nemu's concerns and fears from before is so criminally overlooked and outright ignored? We saw from her quotes and personal memo that she desperately wants to be loved, desperately wants to not be forgotten, and to leave behind a legacy (this is about the being forgotten part too). A common issue for wheelchair users is, in fact, that they are neglected and forgotten about, often only an afterthought, particularly for the administration. And so it annoys me endlessly that f4 are allergic to handling their disabled main cast member whatsoever and neglect her in much the same way her family does.

Anyway, this isn't exhaustive, there's definitely more to unpack, but it's already very long and I thank everyone who has read this far for your time. I hope it helped you guys understand at least a little bit better.

[bucky-barnes-diaries]

Day 31 — Trick or Treat

Pairing || Dilf!Neighbour!Bucky x Female!Reader

Word Count || Around 1500

Contents & Warnings || Fluff — implied infidelity (nothing major, just flirting)

Disclaimer || English is not my first language so I apologise for any mistakes or misunderstandings!

Flufftober Masterlist

October 30th

The big Halloween party you were supposed to go to with your friends was cancelled the day before, and you were pretty much all devastated.

Since they were desperate for a night of partying on Halloween Eve, they were willing to travel 2 hours away to a party that would be even greater than the one you were initially going to. Although you were also keen on some fun, you weren't sure if you were up for travelling that far. You told them that you would let them know the day of if you were down to go.

That was until a few hours later; you bumped into your hot next-door neighbour Bucky in your driveway. You got into talking, and when he asked you about your plans for Halloween, you explained your conflicted situation.

With a shy and beautiful smile, he welcomed you to come along with him and his two kids for trick or treating since his wife was away for a few days. Your heart warmed when he told you that the kids had wanted you to come and that he would very much be thrilled as well if you tagged along.

You immediately said yes. Maybe a little too enthusiastically, which made Bucky chuckle sweetly at you for accepting his invitation.

“Um, it's a date then,” he chuckled nervously as he scratched the back of his neck.

“Y-yeah, it's a date,” you confirmed as your heart pumped in excitement that you would spend tomorrow evening with him and, of course, his adorable kids, who you'd grown so fond of.

October 31st

You checked out your vampire costume in the mirror, ensuring every detail was in perfect place. It was sexy yet classy—revealing, but not anything significant that screamed “slut”, and it was more than appropriate enough for the evening. Satisfied with how it all came together, you went to the house next door.

You took a few deep breaths to compose yourself and calm your excited heart before you rang the doorbell. After a couple of seconds of waiting, bouncing nervously on your feet, the most dashing count opened the door for you. He was also a vampire, and you weren't sure if you should feel awkward or excited that you matched perfectly together. You didn't want anyone to get the wrong impression and think you were a couple. Although you secretly hoped that it would come across that way.

“Oh wow! You look perfect! I-I mean, you look just, uh, that's a, that's a very good costume,” he fumbled with his words as he tried to keep it friendly.

“O-oh, thank you, Bucky,” you gave him a shy smile as you felt so giddy at his compliment, “you look good yourself. I-I just hope it's not awkward that we are matching,” you chuckled nervously.

“No, not at all. Actually, it's-”

He was cut off by two screaming little vampires running towards the entrance, calling your name in excitement.

“You're here! You're here!” They both squealed in unison as they jumped up and down in excitement before hugging each side of your body.

“Hey, you two! Oh, you guys look so scary.”

“We’re vampires as well! We wanted to be just like daddy!”

“I see that,” you giggled as you took in their adorable costumes.

“I tried to get them to go as something else, but they really wanted us to be a vampire trio,” Bucky explained as he had the most heartwarming smile on his face as he watched his kids interact with you.

“And now you're part of that family too!” The oldest exclaimed.

“Um,” you took a quick peek at Bucky through your lashes and saw him displaying a shy grin while his face went practically red he must have liked the sound of that, “well, I-I guess I am for the night.”

The kids were becoming incredibly impatient now and were ready to go out and trick or treat. With their pumpkin buckets in hand, they each grabbed one of you and pulled you along while barely able to contain their excitement at all the candy they would collect and consume tonight.

The streets were packed with people of all ages, families with young children dressed up in the cutest outfits, and teenagers as well, who tried to score candy but failed miserably.

You, Bucky and his kids walked up and down the Halloween-decorated streets, both in your own neighbourhood and a little beyond, going from door to door and collecting treats from each house. A few houses were kind enough to give yourself and Bucky a small treat as well, which none of you could pass up on.

It was a delightful evening, and you had no regrets that you decided to spend time with your lovely neighbours instead of getting piss-drunk miles away with your friends at some dumb party you wouldn't even remember after. No, this gave you the time and excuse to hang with the man you were crushing on and his two kids you'd grown so fond of, and it seemed like they were ecstatic as well that you joined along.

Once you were nearing the last few houses, the buckets were filled almost to the brim with nothing but sugar. But the kids begged “just one more house” for the past five visits now, and since they had been on such good behaviour tonight, Bucky allowed them a few more extra houses before it was time to head home.

They walked up to the front door of the last house with their heavy buckets held in front while you and Bucky stayed a little bit behind, having a pleasant chat. With big smiles on their faces, they rang the doorbell. After a couple of seconds, the door opened, and they excitedly blared, “TRICK OR TREAT!”

“Oh, my, don't you two kids look so lovely in your little costumes,” the elderly woman declared as she gave each of them a sizeable candy bar. Bucky's kids were well-mannered and said a nice big thank you before saying their goodbyes.

As you were about to leave, the lady directed herself to you and Bucky.

“What precious kids you have. And what a wonderful couple you are,” she giggled sweetly.

Your eyes went wide at the woman's words, and you sensed a hint of sweet awkwardness surging between you and Bucky at that moment. You kind of just stood there, not really sure how to react or say as you became flustered and your cheeks heated up. Bucky chuckled awkwardly and scratched his neck. To your surprise, he innocently thanked her instead of explaining the situation, which left you pleasantly surprised.

On your way home, the kids took up most of the talking, luckily, as they were both so ecstatic about all the candy they were going to eat.

Once you were back at their house, you all found your seats at the kitchen table. All the candy was dumped in the middle, and the kids were graceful enough to let you and Bucky eat some of theirs. You all munched on the chocolates and sweets as they shared silly and fun Halloween stories.

All was pleasant and fun now and not awkward at all between you and Bucky, as your primary focus was on them. That was until the kids decided to leave you and go play off the overload of sugar, leaving you and Bucky on your own with a mountain of candy.

“So,” Bucky was the first one to start talking after they left, “um, a-about what happened earlier,” he fumbled with his words as he fiddled with a candy wrapper, “I'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable. I should have just-”

“Bucky,” you cut him off with a sweet chuckle, “it's ok. Don't worry about it.”

You didn't want any uncomfortable tension between you and him. He made a mistake right?, and he was most likely just tired after walking so much that he probably didn't mean what he said. He just wanted to get going and go home. There was no point in bringing up what happened when nothing was going on between the two of you. He was a married man, for god sake, and it was stupid of you to even fantasise or wish for anything more than just being neighbours and possibly friends.

“I had fun tonight, Bucky. I really enjoyed spending time with you and your kids.” You gave him a warm and genuine smile as you tried to change the topic to something more delightful.

He blushed a soft pink as he nodded his head while looking down at his hands. “I-I did too, and I know they did as well.” He smiled as he met your eyes, and you stared at each other for a moment; no awkwardness between you now.

A part of him looked relieved that you didn't pursue the situation further, but you also sensed that a part of him had more to say, but he held his tongue.

You simultaneously picked up another candy and ate it slowly while you both held big grins on your faces.

“Oh!” Bucky exclaimed, like he had forgotten something. “I forgot to say, happy Halloween.”

“Happy Halloween, Bucky,” you softly chuckled.

Feedback through a comment is highly appreciated! Or let me know through an anonymous ask if that feels more comfortable. As well as a reblog to share my work with other people!

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[mistbow]

Sorey, the Vigil-Keeper

I know there’s a popular theory that Sorey might be reborn as a seraph at the ending, but to this, I would like to propose an alternative that is not less convincing, with hints spread throughout both Zestiria and Berseria.

スレイ「……オレ、メーヴィンに教えて貰ったこと絶対忘れない。ずっと伝えていく！」 メーヴィン「……ふ。俺が看取られるなんて……考えた事も……なかった」

In this dialogue from the screenshots above, I want you to pay attention to the word “看取る” and its variations, as it is a word that keeps coming up in the story.

If you look up in dictionaries, you would find that the Japanese word “看取る” means “to attend someone’s deathbed; to care for someone who is close to death until their death.” It is, admittedly, a word that is hard to translate to English.

Here’s how the official English translation goes about, emphasis mine, to bring attention to how it’s localized:

SOREY:  I promise... I'll never forget what you've told me, Mayvin. And I'll teach it to others as well! MAYVIN:  Heh. Never did I imagine I would die with others... By my... Side...

But I think the word has significance in Zestiria lore, with Mayvin, being one himself, didn’t expect to have someone to watch over him as he died.

And how do I know that? It’s in the name, as explained in the sidequest revolving the poet Mayvin.

Here’s a bit of the dialogue as a refresher, with omissions here and there:

アカシャ「語り部は個の名を持たない一族。『メーヴィン』とは一族が代々受け継ぐ名なのです」 ミクリオ「つまり、詩人は何代前のメーヴィンか！」 ザビーダ「メーヴィン……『看取る者』って意味だっけか？」 アカシャ「彼らは、その名と共に契約を受け継ぎ、世界を傍観する宿命を負うのです」 ミクリオ「しかし、なぜそんな宿命を？」 ザビーダ「初代がなんかやらかしちまって、強制的に誓約が与えられた……とかなんとかだっけ？」 スレイ「応えなきゃな。メーヴィンが託してくれた想いに」

Here is how it goes in the official English localization (emphasis, again, mine):

AKSHA: Those in the clan of Storytellers have no names of their own. The name “Mayvin” is passed down through the generations. MIKLEO: So the poet Mayvin was his ancestor from centuries ago! ZAVEID: Doesn’t “Mayvin” mean “Caregiver” in the old tongue? AKSHA: Those born into that name and that oath must accept their fate to be observers of the world. MIKLEO: But I wonder... why is that their fate? ZAVEID: Wasn’t it, like, the first one did some damn fool thing and wound up forced to take the oath as punishment or something? SOREY: We need to work hard to live up to the hopes that Mayvin placed in us.

But if I were to translate it myself more closely to the original Japanese, it would be more like this:

AKSHA: Those in the clan of Storytellers have no names of their own. The name “Mayvin” is passed down through the generations. MIKLEO: So the poet Mayvin was from several generations ago! ZAVEID: Doesn’t “Mayvin” mean “Vigil-Keeper” in the old tongue? AKSHA: Those inheriting that name and that oath must accept their fate to be observers of the world. MIKLEO: But I wonder... why is that their fate? ZAVEID: Wasn’t it, like, the first one did some damn fool thing and wound up forced to take the oath as punishment or something? SOREY: We need to work hard to live up to the hopes that Mayvin placed in us.

What am I implying here? I think that the Storytellers of Time, as a clan, don’t have to be related by blood. The wording used here to me implies that the name is inherited, passed down. (Fits nicely with Zestiria’s theme that “Legend will someday become hope.” Legends or “伝承” are things that get passed down. That get inherited. That outlives its keepers, because it is the hope or will that will not die as long as there’s someone out there to accept it.)

It’s a name that means 看取る者, the one who attends someone on their deathbed. As for why I translated this as “Vigil-Keeper”, I will bring it up later.

(As a sidenote: Sorey gets his alternative costume from this sidequest. Makes you think.)

But first. Let’s talk about Mayvin more. After all, there’s also “Mayvin” in Berseria.

マギルゥ「メルキオル・メーヴィン、火山で待っておれ」 マギルゥ「案ずるな。お主の最期は儂が”看取る”」

MAGILOU: Melchior Mayvin, I’ll see you at the volcano. MAGILOU: Don’t you worry. I’ll be sure to be there as you breathe your last.

Hard, isn’t it, to get this point across in English? But they actually put the word in the quotes as ”看取る” as if trying to get your focus on that word. Part of why I think the name “Mayvin” (along with the oath that comes with it) gets inherited as you watch someone die before your eyes, and take on their name.

Now back to Zestiria. Sorey actually has a title series that corresponds to the turning points of his character development, namely:

Lad of Separation (別離の若者) (Bronze): Obtained when he left Elysia, as he learned the lesson of farewells.

Reunited Traveler (旅は道連れ) (Silver): Obtained when Rose joined the party, as he learned to be with a human companion that can understand him as a fellow human.

Vigil-Keeper (看取りし人) (Gold): Obtained as he watched Mayvin die in his arms. I will explain more on this below.

看取りし人 消えゆく命を見届け、その想いを胸に刻んだ者に託された称号。

Vigil-Keeper A title entrusted to one who sees off passing lives, and engraves the wishes of the fallen upon his heart.

(By the way, it’s also part of a series of titles belonging to the seraphim too.)

Yes, it’s the same word/characters you see in all of the previous ones shown above. He actually obtained a title that is basically the ancient tongue meaning for “Mayvin.”

刻遺の語り部 「メーヴィン」という名を代々受け継ぐ人間の一族がいる。彼らは「刻遺の語り部」と呼ばれる存在で、「人間・天族・導師・憑魔などの歴史に干渉しない」という誓約により、非常な長命を得ている。「刻（とき）に遺される」という名からわかるように、人間では考えられないような時間を生きながら、人や天族が織りなす歴史を語り、後世に残すことを使命としている。これは初代メーヴィンに対して課せられた、一種の義務や罰ではないか、という説が伝わっている。歴史に干渉しないためその存在を知る者は少なく、天族のあいだでも語ることは禁忌とされているようだ。

Storytellers of Time There is a human clan which inherits the name “Mayvin” from generation to generation. They are known as the “Storytellers of Time” and have a very long life due to their oath not to interfere with the history of humans, seraphim, Shepherds, and hellions. As implied from the name “abandoned in time,” they have the duty to tell the history as woven by humans and seraphim while living for a long time unimaginable for humans, preserving for the future generations, left behind by the world and time. It has been theorized that this may have been some kind of obligation or punishment imposed on the first Mayvin. Since they do not interfere with history, few humans know of their existence, and it has become something of a taboo to talk about, even among the seraphim.

As a note, the “Time” part of the title is “刻遺” and I believe I had already talked about the word “time” being written as “刻” before. It also implies “abandoned in time” (“刻に遺される”).

ミクリオ「マオテラスと繋がり、刻にとり残され、何年……いや、何百年待つのか……」

MIKLEO: By bonding with Maotelus, you’ll be abandoned in time. It could take years… It could take centuries.

Interesting wording, is it not?

By the way, another interesting but easy-to-miss detail:

If you squint closely, both Magilou and Zestiria!Mayvin have bird motifs (on her notebook for Magilou, where presumably she wrote the stories to tell to the next generations, and on both his pipe and book for Z!Mayvin). You know who else has bird motifs?

空に飛び立って 幼い頃からいつも身に着けている羽の耳飾り。穢れを知らない鳥は故郷を飛び立ち広い世界を目指す。

Flying into the sky A feather earring that he has always worn since he was a child. The bird, knowing nothing of malevolence, takes a flight off from its homeland to the vast world.

(I mean, a lot of Zestiria and Berseria characters have bird motifs, but hey. And I will someday talk about this too, but we’ll save this for the future.)

スレイ「『人が育てたら、飛べない鳥になってしまう。巣に戻せ』って……」 スレイ「あいつ……無事に巣立てたんだな」

SOREY: “A kept bird will never learn to fly,” he said. “Put it back.” SOREY: Guess you made it out of the nest on your own, huh?

And I love it. I love this because at its core, Zestiria is about humans and seraphim, and Sorey and Mikleo are intended by the creators to symbolize that. Being a storyteller and explorer fits him as his defining character trait is that he is passionate about history, passionate about finding ways on how to unite humans and seraphim. Sure, he was still the Shepherd up until before he brought out that second strike to Heldalf, and ended his suffering of Eternal Solitude, but right after that? Right after all this is done? I’m inclined to believe he might take the oath, take the name “Mayvin” after the one human he learned from the most. 

But I don’t think he is going to see it as a burden, an obligation, a punishment... after all, the essence of adventure lies in exploration, in the words of Mayvin, the Explorer. 

And, in the words of Mayvin, the Storyteller, you can’t fathom the true meaning of legends until you’ve seen their history with your own eyes...

(He might not be able to interfere with the world history after this, sure, but in a way, that also frees him from the shackles that used to bind him as the Shepherd. He had done what he needed to. Now is the time to entrust it to the next generations.)

ところで『探検家』であるために一番大切なことはなんだと思う？ 好奇心や勇気も重要だが、一番じゃないな 答えは『探検から無事に帰ること』だ

By the way, what would you say is the most important quality of an explorer? Curiosity and courage are definitely key, but they are not the most vital. The answer is the wherewithal to come back from your exploration safely.

And he did come home safely. At the end.

[romancomicsnews]

Blue Beetle is a triumph for DC, the Latinx Community, and Superhero Movies - SPOILER FREE REVIEW

Ángel Manuel Sotos new DC film Blue Beetle is hitting theaters this week but has had a significantly hard road to get here.

The film was originally sold as a direct to streaming film, then was moved to theatrical release, was caught in the middle of a James Gunn take over, and now a writer's/actor's strike. Couple all that with superhero fatigue, and DC's not so clean track record, the film would have to jump massive hurdles to be successful most movies do not.

Blue Beetle, however, is a magnificent departure from superhero films of late that coast on past projects, name dropping, or cameos. It is a delightful film that centers on family, responsibility, and the many different types of Latinx experiences, all while being extremely funny and full of incredible action.

Director Manuel Soto breathes new life into the DCU in a way few directors have before. instead of opting for uniformity with other superhero projects, the film has a distinct color and design that feels unique and fresh. Excellent design, costuming, and vibrancy make up a beautiful Palmera City.

One of the most notable aspects of the film was the fluid, dynamic fight choreography for Blue Beetle and our main physical antagonist, Carapax. While there are several heroes who have similar powers to Jaime, none quite have used it as interestingly. The shifting of weaponry, flight, and hand to hand combat make for types of fights we don't really see in live action.

This film of course is not just made up of excellent visuals, but a phenomenal supporting cast. It is hard to pick out favorites, as most characters are given an opportunity to shine.

Through this cast, Manuel Soto shows the many realistic day to day fears and feelings of a Latinx/Hispanic person. Responsibility, family, and becoming who you are supposed to be are all at the heart of the film. As a Latinx man, so many aspects of the film hit home for me, sometimes comedically, sometimes tragically.

The movie also emphasizes different kinds of experiences in our community. Undocumented citizens, first generation, the religious traditional older member of the family, even the slacker uncle. Every member of the family feels different, but they all feel like a family.

For me, I'd say Belissa Escobedo as Milagro Reyes brings excellent sisterly back and forth with our hero and has some very emotional moments in the film. Brother/sister chemistry is sometimes difficult to pull off, but Escobedo makes it look easy. I think she has the making of a comedic star on the rise and is someone to lookout for.

I'd say most members of the family will be someones favorite. George Lopez as Rudy, Jaimes Uncle Rudy, Damián Alcázar as Alberto Reyes, Jaimes Father, and Adriana Barraza as Nana, the matriarchal head of the family all got big laughs and, at times, tears from their performances.

This cast is phenomenal and elevates excellent writing into several iconic scenes. I don't see this film working without the perfect familial blend of actors. And they got it perfectly.

While characters like Elpidia Carrillo as Rocio Reyes or Bruna Marquezine as Jenny Kord do get the short end of the stick in the film, I think they get their moments and will be greater utilized in (hopefully) future installments of the franchise.

What made it most clear that Manuel Soto understands character were the two antagonists of the film.

While they are not nearly as significant as the rest of the family, both Susan Sarandon as Victoria Kord and Raoul Max Trujillo as Conrad Carapax are not reduced to twirling mustache villains. They both have realistic and at times tragic stories that explain (but does not justify) their actions.

While both give solid performances and are a step above your average Marvel/DC villains, I think the film could've benefitted from more of them.

But the real highlight of the film, to no ones surprise, was Xolo Maridueña as Jaime Reyes.

Maridueña as Blue Beetle feels like one of those castings that seem impossible to be topped. He brings excellent comedy, pain, and honor to Jaime in a way that feels natural. He is Blue Beetle.

In the film, Maridueña displays a wide range of emotions while he goes through an incredibly grueling 2-3 days. There is comedy, awkwardness, strength, anger, and pain, and Maridueña nails every moment of it.

I expect you will see a lot more Xolo in the future even if we don't see more Blue Beetle. But I hope he does return.

I think this movie has the potential to connect with audiences in a way we just haven't seen in a long time from a Superhero film. It is original, fun, and shows us a side of DCU we've never seen before, without endless cameos and reminders of past projects.

I hope other studios take away that audiences want more representation via original content from creative visionaries. But Hollywood often takes away the wrong lesson.

All in all, Blue Beetle is an incredible film that balances comedy, drama, and action in a way superhero movies rarely do. If you get the chance to, I highly recommend you go out and give it a watch. Films as good as this deserve support.

Blue Beetle is out in theaters this Friday August 18th.

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[hsmtmtsnet]

High School Musical: The Musical: The Series season 4 is shaping up to be the show’s most nostalgic season yet, and PEOPLE has the exclusive First Look at the stars in character, including Joshua Bassett (Ricky), Sofia Wylie (Gina), Julia Lester (Ashlyn), Dara Reneé (Kourtney), Frankie Rodriguez (Carlos), Joe Serafini (Seb), Liamani Segura (Emmy) and more. 

Following a transformative summer away at camp, the new season follows the East High students as they enter their senior year — and it doesn’t take long before the drama picks up, both on and off stage. As the students prepare to put on a stage production of High School Musical 3: Senior Year, their plans are quickly derailed when it’s announced that Disney is making the long-awaited High School Musical 4: The Reunion movie at their high school, and they'll all be playing featured extras. 

When PEOPLE visited the HSMTMTS set last year, many of the stars teased that this season feels like a “full-circle” moment as many OG High School Musical stars make cameos, including Corbin Bleu, Monique Coleman, Lucas Grabeel, Bart Johnson, Alyson Reed and Kaycee Stroh. 

“We've been manifesting it since day one and here we are four seasons later and we finally get to be with the OG Wildcat Group,” explains Lester, 23. “They embody the OG Wildcat spirit, we embody this new Wildcat spirit, and two groups blended together has been so wonderful.” 

Bassett, 22, adds that it was especially moving to witness the OG HSM cast’s emotional response to returning to East High nearly 15 years after the final film wrapped. “It was really special to share that,” he says. “It was truly a beautiful thing and beyond what we were hoping for to have so many original people back.”

This season will also feature two new recurring cast members who stir things up for the East High students.

Descendants: The Rise of Red’s Kylie Cantrall plays social media star Dani, who sounds like an HSMTMTS take on Ashley Tisdale's Sharpay. “She likes the spotlight and when she wants something, she goes and gets it, even if it means stepping on people's toes a little bit,” teases Cantrall, 17.

Meanwhile, Doogie Kameāloha, M.D. star Matthew Sato joins the cast as a sitcom actor named Mack, who he says “develops a really interesting relationship” with Gina as the season progresses. 

Naturally, this season will feature countless nods to the original HSM franchise with the music, storylines and even costumes. “It is so meta,” showrunner Tim Federle says of season 4. “It's like Inception with jazz hands at this point. I think there are Easter eggs in every episode.” 

The major storylines in this season also draw inspiration from the third High School Musical movie, as many of the characters go on journeys of self-discovery in their final year at East High. 

“We chose High School Musical 3 because they're literally graduating,” Federle says of the significance behind the students’ musical for this year. “Troy and Gabriela have these stories about being potentially pulled apart by circumstance and by growing up and that's exactly what Ricky and Gina are going through,” he adds of Bassett and Sofia Wylie’s characters, who share a passionate kiss at the end of season 3. 

As for that season 3 cliffhanger, Bassett teases that fans will continue to see the “aftermath” of that relationship in the upcoming season. “They're both really nervous about getting it right,” he says of Ricky and Gina. “It’s fun to see [them] in this light and actually see them in a healthy relationship because I think both of them have had pretty not great relationships.” 

Relationship drama and big decisions are key themes in season 4 as the characters prepare to graduate high school. “Kourtney is going through these massive decisions about wanting it all as a college student,” teases Federle, 43. “Ashlyn goes on a journey where she discovers her own queerdom in the series.” 

“Those are all things we're able to address in a way that I think celebrates the original franchise but puts a stamp on it in our own way,” Federle adds.  

As for what Federle hopes the show’s final stamp will be? The importance of community. “In the streaming era, there's something real about the phrase ‘It's now or never,’” he explains. “[To] still be on the air after four seasons is a blessing alone.” 

“I hope what people take away [from the series] is that in a mean, mean world, it's really important to find your people who have your back,” he adds. “The world is mean enough, and there are certain pockets of the world that you can find your people and soar and not apologize for who you are.” 

He continues, “That goes for our audience, and that goes for these characters and ultimately, it goes for the real-life cast, hoping from me that they carry this with them for the rest of their lives. That they had a place to go that was safe and where they were celebrated for all of their colors.”

“This was my first TV show,” he adds. “And what I promised Disney was that if they let me hire real theater kids, they wouldn't let me down. I'm so proud of them because when the world beats them up, they still show up for me and for each other.”

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE A

Lemony Snicket Propaganda:

(I would like to preface this by saying that Lemony Snicket is the author's pen name, not a real person, and he exists as a character in-universe as well as being the one in-universe who writes the books!) I'd say he's unreliable because he spent time collecting information about the Baudelaire kids and then... wrote books about it. He has no idea what any of their dialogue actually was, what they were thinking, or even the whole plot, he's just doing research into the incidents and then filling in the gaps to make it a story. What ACTUALLY happened to the Baudelaires? Nobody really knows for sure

While the Baudelaire siblings are in potentially life threatening danger, he will randomly start talking about his own life and just leave the siblings hanging. For example, once Count Olaf was threatening to kill Violet, and then Lemony randomly began talking about how he met the love of his life at a costume party. This man CANNOT stay on topic. Usually when a new character is introduced, Lemony tells us right at the start that they’re either going to die or that the Baudelaire siblings will never see them again. Foreshadowing is not subtle in these books. CONSTANTLY emphasizes how miserable he feels while writing these books. At one point he admits that he had to put his pencil down and go cry for a while because of how sad it made him. Once he filled an entire page with nothing but the word “ever” to emphasize how dangerous it is to put forks in electrical outlets. He also repeated a paragraph about deja vu later on in the book to give the reader deja vu.

Dr. James Sheppard Propaganda:

The story, centered on murders in an English village, is narrated by Poirot’s mild-mannered sidekick, Dr. James Sheppard. [SPOILERS} At the end, the killer turns out to be Dr. Sheppard himself, a shock despite the reader having been privy to his thoughts for several hundred pages. Christie does not allow her narrator to record a single falsehood; his slippery omissions and evasions are enough to conceal his guilt.

to quote the wikipedia article on this book: "The novel was well-received from its first publication,[4][5] and has been called Christie's masterpiece.[6] In 2013, the British Crime Writers' Association voted it the best crime novel ever.[7] It is one of Christie's best known[8][9] and most controversial novels,[10][11][12] its innovative twist ending having a significant impact on the genre. Howard Haycraft included it in his list of the most influential crime novels ever written.[13]"

Dr Sheppard’s telling the story by documenting Poirot’s investigation, starting by first telling us the events that led him to finding Roger Ackroyd’s body. He’d had dinner with Ackroyd that evening to talk about a woman’s recent suicide and her admission she’d poisoned her husband after struggling with a blackmailer. Ackroyd had a letter from her and when his body was found the letter was gone. He tells us opportunities the main suspect had to do things all while professing said subject would never do *that* when you go back and look at them again knowing what you do at the end you can see how these little things you can see how they relate to opportunities which could have led Sheppard to be exposed as the blackmailer and murderer. It’s brilliant how Christie set it up, especially if you’ve read other Poirots and are used to Hasting telling us the story. I always read it twice in a row, once just listening to the story and then going through and noting those little clues that change in context. I’m not sure I explained it that well but it’s really good how he lies to us by telling part of the truth.

[emoprincey]

Virgil as a trans allegory - Sanders Sides analysis

Before I start, I want to clarify that I know that none of the Sanders Sides characters are actually trans, because they're all based on Thomas who is a cis man, but as a trans person I find Virgil’s arc very relatable. So, while I know this wasn't the intention, I want to explain how Virgil can be viewed as a trans allegory.

I view the end of season 1 to the start of season 2 as a transitional moment for Virgil. It's a massive turning point for his character, where he goes from being viewed primarily as the antagonist to being accepted as part of the group. There's also a big change in the way he presents himself from this point onwards, from the way he dresses to the way he acts.

A notable change is that he tells the other sides his true name. Virgil’s name was a significant detail in season 1, with several teases about it before the final reveal. This reveal of his name marks a significant turning point in his relationship with the other sides.

It's clear that names are something important and personal to the sides, with how Virgil and Janus keep theirs secret for so long, and Roman's reveal of his own name in an emotional conversation with c!Thomas. Virgil telling the other sides his name is a massive display of trust, and is one of the first indications of just how important names are to the sides.

Choosing a name and telling other people are significant milestones for a lot of trans people.

Dress is also important to a lot of trans people. With how gender presentation is often linked to clothing, changing the way you dress can be a source of euphoria for trans people.

In the episode Fitting In, all the sides go through a costume change, but Virgil’s is arguably the most significant. He adds a new colour - purple - which would come to represent him in the show's colour-themed merch. It's also worth noting that in FWSA it's revealed that Virgil’s eyeshadow turns purple when he's happy, so the colour has a more material link to Virgil feeling comfortable with himself.

He doesn't change his entire style, he keeps his eyeshadow and emo aesthetic, he just changes his outfit into something he's more comfortable with.

Virgil is initially anxious about both of these changes. As I mentioned, he puts off telling the others his name until the end of season one. He is anxious about changing his outfit, saying that it's a bit "out there". However, both of these work out well, and he's accepted by the other sides.

It feels fitting, particularly when looking at Virgil as a trans allegory, that the point at which Virgil is accepted by the whole group coincides with this transition.

After this point, he acts less defensive, lashing out and hissing at the other sides less (bar Janus, but I think it's safe to say that he's not exactly on Virgil’s list of trusted people). He definitely seems more comfortable, in himself and his relations to the other sides and Thomas.

I think that Virgil’s arc revolving so much around identity and acceptance, as well as the change in the way he presents himself being such a significant moment for his character, makes him particularly relatable for trans people.

[polyamships]

[ID: “Polyam Shipping Day / 14th of every month”. Next to the text is a red infinity sign that finishes in a heart on top. Above the text are rows of stylized hearts in the colors of both versions of the polyam pride flag (black, red, bright blue, light green, dark green, light blue, navy). /end ID]      

August 14th 2022 is our 19th Polyam Shipping Day.

The optional theme for it is: ✒️ Tattoo 🥁

Thoughts on the theme for anyone who wants a little more inspiration: They could have temporary tattoos for aesthetics, like a night out or a costume, or a partner lovingly drawing a design on their skin. Perhaps they have a tattoo of religious or cultural significance. Or a permanent tattoo for a loved one, not necessarily a romantic partner. They might get one to celebrate a relationship or relationship milestone. Or another significant moment/part of their life, for example one from a team they are on. A tattoo to cover up scars or old tattoos. Maybe they have a tattoo they're embarrassed of or got removed. You could do first time their partners get to see their tattoo(s) or trusts them enough to explain the importance of their tattoo(s). Certain types of soulmark AUs would work great with this prompt. For something a little different, you could go with the musical meaning instead, of a rhythmic tapping or drumming. And that can also relate to a military tattoo, a performance of music or display of armed forces.

We’ll be tracking #PolyamShippingDay, and keeping an eye out for any @polyamships mentions too. We will reblog any polyam-positive fanworks featuring polyamorous ships of any configuration/type from any fandom. All ratings are welcome but anything nsfw/triggery should be warned for and behind a read more, as should very long tumblr fic.

You can also submit works directly to the blog or send us asks to let us know to check your blog for a post. If you’re posting on AO3, our collection name is ‘PolyamShippingDay‘ and you can post to the collection here. Only fanworks submitted/@ us on tumblr or in the official AO3 collection will be included in our roundup. Please also let us know what prompt you created for, if any - people are always welcome to create for past prompts instead.

We now have a Discord - invite here - if you want a place to chat about your ships or what you’re creating for them.

We look forward to seeing what people create for it. If you’re enthused about the day, we’d be especially appreciative of any reblogs to help spread the word about the event.

[ngscoffeecupcommentary]

KHR - Chapter 4: Expulsion Crisis

I remember how ludicrous I found Nezu - and yes I still remember his name - let's see how angry this makes me now, as an adult.

Who let this guy anywhere near a teaching position. Wouldn't trust him with a pet rock. Calling a child 'a burden on society' and saying 'is there any reason for such trash to exist?' in front of the whole class with a smug look on his face. I mean I know things are rough in Japanese schools, but would this actually happen? Or is it a comedy exaggeration?

 Either way, Nezu is not fit to be a teacher.

Gokudera immediately being threatening and spilling sensitive information out in public...oh dear - making things even more difficult for Tsuna (let's face it tho, that's his purpose this early in).

I love how Tsuna's greatest problem with getting expelled is that he won't be able to see Kyouko again - very teenager of him!

And here's Leon's first significant appearance! Showing off his suspiciously magic abilities as well as Tsuna's observation talent - something that will become Hyper Intuition (and it's kind of supported by canon that other people don't notice Reborn is Reborn when he's wearing his various costumes, but Tuna does...so this is also and example of something that started out as comedy and evolved into a power in a magic fire shounen manga)

'Reborn is teaching me all the basics of assassination' I wonder if this will ever come back? Just the image of Gokudera stuffing himself in that small cupboard with Reborn probably drinking coffee and looking smug is hilarious.

Gokudera is so earnest in wanting to help Tsuna ;o;  still can't read the room and actually do what Tsuna would truly like, but he's trying! (more than anyone else so far) - also, doesn't listen to Tsuna when he protests immediately…*sigh*

Nezu setting them up and getting praised by another teacher for it… ugh...the standards in Namimori Middle are real low.

Tsuna's despondency may be selfish, but this is also a situation he's not at fault for, Gokudera got him into this trouble (and Reborn and Nezu) so I don't blame him for being fourteen. Gokudera is also thoughtless and casually dismissive, but somehow I expect more from him - maybe due to knowing he's had more actual life experience? Hmm.

Reborn is here to threaten (and shoot) Tsuna into trying!

Leon hops on no problem and Tsuna in his Dying Will state intuitively knows how to use Leon's transformation? Interesting…

I love how Gokudera just goes 'I was waiting for you Boss!' no doubt that Tsuna would follow him despite his protests. (though that may be putting on bravado). And then getting amazed at Tsuna using Leon dowsing rod, 'sublime' indeed Gokudera!

Interesting to see that depending on the area you're shot at, the Deathperation bullets have different effects - though I assume this is only when you're in Dying Will mode...I do believe that these specifics never come into play again after the initial introduction chapters.

Nezu going back on his word does not surprise me at all.

Neither does Gokudera's cool-headed verbal smack down.

Gokudera's lack of self-worth shows it's face for the first time, as does his actual intelligence and academic smarts.

Tsuna complaining about a 'pack of idiots getting bigger' and Kyoko staying away because of that, but Tsuna, my boy, it's not like you were doing well on your own haha.

Reborn telling Tsuna to learn from Gokudera is funny knowing Gokudera can't teach - if I remember right he's too technical and cannot figure out how to explain to someone at Tsuna's level or of Tsuna's type of intelligence.

Vol.1  . ch1 . ch2 . ch3 . ch4 . ch5 . ch6 . ch7 . 

[shuuji-thoughts]

on Pulse - Kiyoshi Kurosawa (2001)

Initial Impressions

I had a pretty mixed experience with this one, mostly because I went into it with somewhat confused expectations. First of all, this being branded to me as simple "J-horror" was detrimentally redundant, as the film felt more to me like a unique blend of various genres (ranging from techno-horror to psychological thriller to apocalyptic sci-fi), which is apparently the type of film Kurosawa is known for. In terms of horror, much like Ring, this film scarcely had any genuinely scary bits, although the techniques used here were regardless remarkably more innovative and effective than whatever the hell that film was doing. Unfortunately, this film— at least to me— also felt extremely scattered and inconsistent, despite containing many memorable and interesting scenes/ shots.

Further Critique

In terms of presentation, the film overall carries that uniquely pleasant early 2000s essence that I am notoriously in love with through its set design, costumes, effects, and camera work, which was personally the main draw for me. There were also several noticeable camera techniques and shot compositions that caught my attention. For example, the camera would occasionally switch to handheld. I first noticed this in the scene when Yabe comes back drained after his ghost sighting. I'm not entirely sure what the significance of that was but it was certainly a striking choice. I was also pretty satisfied with the film's depictions of its ghosts, although a little confused with how inconsistent they were. I also really liked the consistent parallel framing across scenes when the characters would fade into a wall, always being against the left side of said wall, often next to a window. This pattern made it easier to anticipate the deaths in the latter half of the film. Another thing I REALLY liked and wish would be better utilized in horror generally was this film's use of liminal space and silence. The way the film slowly drip-fed more and more scenes depicting characters alone in big open spaces where one would normally expect to see an abundance of extras was extremely effective in my opinion, especially because this is the main device through which the subtle apocalypse happening just outside the main plotlines is communicated to the viewer. Additionally, there were a number of scenes that effectively utilized silence to elicit an errieness that I don't think could be accomplished through the use of your typical spooky noises. What comes to mind are of course the scenes where nothing can be heard but the faint whisper of a ghost/ vanished individual calling out for help. Those were the only scenes that actually kinda got to me. In general, these are two elements I want to see more often utilized in horror, as I'm really tired of the typical jumpscare shit and want to see something that really plays with that existential dread of being alone in an open, quiet space.

In terms of themes, this could not be more on the nose. In fact, one of my main gripes with this film was just how overstated its themes were, introducing the metaphorical dot simulation one scene and then explicitly explaining the metaphor through dialog in the next. There was also a bit where one of the characters just randomly starts lecturing on the Hedgehog's dilemma unprompted, like they really couldn't have spelled it out more clearly, and I felt that kinda detracted from the otherwise mysterious, show-don't-tell type of story that the film seemed to be going for. That being said, I don't entirely know what the actual conclusion was meant to be, aside from just a vague critique of the internet's effect as an alienator and a commentary on the Hedgehog's dilemma, but I did find some of the methods the film used to communicate its themes quite deep and worth further exploration, namely the significance of the red taped rooms and their apparent connection to the dot simulation. According to a video essay I was casually listening to while cooking lunch, all of the main characters who die from ghost encounters are first drawn into the red taped rooms for whatever reason (loneliness or smth idk), at which point someone close to them starts searching for them, only for their fate to be sealed the moment they come in contact again. I'm sure you can see the obvious parallel here to the dot thing, although I'm not entirely sure what the point of any of that is? If ya'll have any theories feel free to drop 'em down below. Overall, a very interesting film with some slight annoyances here and there, solid 6/10.

[teenageread]

Review: The Disaster Artist

Synopsis:

In 2003, an independent film called The Room—written, produced, directed, and starring a very rich social misfit of indeterminate age and origin named Tommy Wiseau—made its disastrous debut in Los Angeles. Described by one reviewer as “like getting stabbed in the head,” the $6 million film earned a grand total of $1,800 at the box office and closed after two weeks. Now in its tenth anniversary year, The Room is an international phenomenon to rival The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Thousands of fans wait in line for hours to attend screenings complete with costumes, audience rituals, merchandising, and thousands of plastic spoons.

Readers need not have seen The Room to appreciate its costar Greg Sestero’s account of how Tommy Wiseau defied every law of artistry, business, and interpersonal relationships to achieve the dream only he could love. While it does unravel mysteries for fans, The Disaster Artist is more than just an hilarious story about cinematic hubris: It is ultimately a surprisingly inspiring tour de force that reads like a page-turning novel, an open-hearted portrait of a supremely enigmatic man who will capture your heart.

Plot:

Greg Sestero wanted to be an actor. His French mother did not approve and took every opportunity to tell her son to pursue a different career. After molding in high school, Greg needed to join an acting class to be considered by agents in Los Angeles. The class he signed up for was led by Jean Shelton, who was terrifying. Ready to rip anyone apart, there was no pleasing Shelton with the skits they had to perform. Only one person was not afraid of Shelton and that was Pirate Guy. Later, Greg learned his name to be Tommy Wiseau, who was fearless, and stood up to Shelton about how he wanted his scene to be. Wanting that same kind of fearlessness, Greg asked Tommy to be his scene partner, which led to a friendship like no other. On their first of many dinner runs, Tommy gives Greg this advice: “You have to be the best” (51).  Working together on their L.A dream, Greg found a much-needed friend in Tommy, someone he could be himself with and not be afraid of rejection. For Tommy, we never knew what he saw in Greg, only that it led to a type of friendship that led to the creation of The Room. 

The Room was a movie Greg did not want to be in. Even though he was helping Tommy, the other cast members saw Greg as a summer intern, and not an actor himself. Tommy however saw no other way, and was constantly at him to play Mark, who in the film is Tommy’s character, Johnny, best friend’s and the person who sleeps with Johnny’s future wife, Lisa. Promising him a large sum of money and a new car, Greg’s girlfriend, Amber, also told him to take the part, sealing Greg’s fate of being in The Room. Greg goes into the details of the making of The Room, explaining why Johnny has plastic spoons in frames during the living room set, that Tommy showed up four hours late on the first day, and how he expected everyone to show up, every day, even if their scenes were not being shot. The rooftop scene was being filmed outside, thus different lighting in all the scenes. Johnny's ‘I did not hit here’ line took three hours and thirty-two takes. Greg details out all the behind the scenes issues of The Room, the moments that at the time did not seem significant, but we're. All in all, The Room happened, four months late and cost over six million to make.

Thoughts:

As a fan of The Room, this book was absolute gold. The Room is a cult classic film because it was so bad, it would make the grumpiest people laugh. With plots that go nowhere and bad acting (or was it just a bad script?) The Room is a movie everyone must see at least once. Taking his experience from The Room, along with his personal friendship with Tommy, Greg Sestero, along with Tom Bissell, wrote this book about the making of The Room for us super fans. Read like a story, this book switches from the making of the Room, to Sestero’s life, with and without Tommy, before the script for the Room was written. You got to read from Sestero’s point of view of meeting Tommy, how he moves into Tommy’s L.A apartment, to their friendship falling out and coming back strong in the end. The Disaster Artist, tilted appropriately because that is what Tommy Wiseau is, as an artist, he is a disaster. This book, to me, is better if you know the plot of The Room, as it helps to make the connections easier as you understand what scene Sestero is explaining. If unable to stomach the movie itself, The Disaster Artist film, starring James Franco as Tommy and Dave Franco as Greg, is another great film that truly captures the horribleness that was The Room. A fun, inspiring and funny story, The Disaster Artist, is about Tommy’s escapade to defeat the Hollywood system of making the movie, and his best friend Greg, who was at his side when this happened.

Read more reviews: Goodreads

Buy the book: Amazon