#the best adjective they could come up with was 'legal'

[semisgroupie]

PART I — A BROKEN RECORD ON REPEAT

shidou ryusei x fem. reader

wc: 5.5k

warnings: foul language, alcohol, reader is in a loveless relationship, legal jargon, talk about babies, some angst

note: this is a very plot heavy chapter and very little shidou and reader interaction but that’s to build up for what’s to come!

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Mundane?

Could that be the word you’d use to describe your life currently? No, even that is being too nice. You could list off all the possible adjectives in your mind but they wouldn’t be enough to properly describe your emotions towards your life. You’d have to string together a sentence to do so.

So now what would the sentence be?

Your life is like a broken record that goes on nonstop and makes you want to rip your hair out of your scalp.

Bingo!

That’s what you would describe your life as. Everything fell into place and there was no excitement for you to look forward to—well there was something very exciting coming your way, you just didn’t know it yet. But it’s best to give some background.

You grew up in a traditional nuclear family. Your parents worked endlessly to make sure you and your younger brother lived a comfortable life. You appreciate them for that and in return you made sure to do your best in school to ease any burden on them. You were a straight-A student, captain of the debate and mock trial teams in your school and helped out in your community. For that, you ended up receiving a full ride scholarship to one of the top universities in New York City.

During your time in college, you worked your ass off to maintain the scholarship and thensome. That’s when you found your passion in law and attended law school which led you to where you were now. One of the top corporate firms in New York City, you always made sure to devote time to your family and you were able to buy your parents a beautiful home where they could finally relax and retire.

At the age of 23, you met your now fiancé, Niles Murdock. He put you at the top of his world, for the first few years you two were together. Then it seemed like once he put a ring on your finger, he just stopped trying. No more random bouquets, no more casual walks in the park, no more lazy nights where you two sat cuddled up and ordered takeout to stuff your faces, it was all over. His parents were decent people, maybe that’s a lie. They only saw people and actions as transactions and they were the ones to convince you to go into corporate law. “That’s where the money is!” They said and you followed like a pet.

When you graduated law school you had multiple offers but your heart was leaning towards a position at the prosecutor's office. You would’ve had to work your way up but it would’ve been something you enjoyed. But you took the offer at Baker, Fisher & Ross LLP. The first year was hell, sitting in meetings and conference rooms with men that only saw you as a walking sex doll and disregarded any of your opinions. Three years later and now you’re the youngest and only female being considered for a position as partner, at only 28.

That was currently the only perk in your life.

Sometimes when you sat in your office and looked out the window, you wondered what would’ve happened if you went into criminal law. Where would you be then? Would your relationship with Niles have ended? Would you be slaving for a dollar? But most importantly, would you be happy?

But those were all questions that would remain unanswered. You had to push them aside because you had more important matters to focus on. You had to make partner in this firm. You had to or else this route would mean nothing. It would mean that you threw away everything, for nothing.

In the morning you woke up in an empty bed, as per usual. Niles was a stockbroker so he had to go meet with his Wall Street coworkers and probably snort a few lines of coke to start the day. You walked out of your bedroom and went straight to the shower to wake yourself up. As the water cascaded along your skin, you went over your schedule for the day. You had three meetings and then after lunch you had to go meet with the mock trial team you were mentoring. You loved working with them. They all reminded you of yourself, all bright eyed and eager to the world of law. If you could, you would warn them about making the right decision. You wanted to warn them to keep the fire inside them lit and not let it die out like you had. But then you’d scare them off and there goes something to brighten your day.

You finished your shower and rummaged through your closet, grabbing your gray pants suit and heels to set on your bed while you prepared a pot of coffee and made yourself up. After you finished getting ready, you poured the coffee into your mug and grabbed your bag. Just like clockwork you walked to your car, drove to your office building then walked to the local bakery to pick up a croissant for your secretary. Jesse was an angel, he was someone that you could rely on and chat with whenever you felt like you were going insane. Hell, he probably could write novels about your life with how much you told him.

After paying for the croissant you made your way back down the block to your office building and made your way inside. The building had 18 floors and was filled with multiple law firms. Your firm took up the top 6 floors and you didn’t really know much about anything else that occupied the space. Maybe if you’re stuck in the office late you’ll go look around and figure out what’s going on inside the building. It’s not like security would confront you anyways, they were too busy sleeping or flirting on the job.

You made your way through the growing crowd of people and waited for the elevator. Then after a few moments you packed yourself inside the metal box that was kind of like a can of sardines waiting to be sealed. You held your bag and the bag with the croissant inside close to you and looked out into the crowd of people that were waiting for the next elevator. They all shared a similar expression of boredom but there was someone that caught your attention. Just as you were about to turn your complete focus to them, the doors to the elevators shut and you started your ascent to hell. But there was something about the stranger that would stick in your mind no matter how quickly you looked at them, their pink eyes.

The elevator ride was fairly quick and you got off at the 17th floor. The top floor was reserved for the big shots and partners and if everything were to go your way, you’d be up there soon. You made your way to your office and stopped by the desk that sat in the antechamber that connected you both. “Good morning to the best secretary in this hell hole, I brought you your favorite.” You set the bag down at his desk and received a bright smile.

“You’re the greatest.” He took it and quickly opened it to eat the contents of the bag. That’s one thing about Jesse, you could give him a bag of rocks and he’d still be thankful for it. You smiled and turned to head into your office, just as your hand touched the knob Jesse cleared his throat. “Sorry, I got distracted but I heard that at the end of this week is when you’ll find out if you make partner. They’re having a little party at Vincenzo’s and they’ll make the announcement there. But don’t say I told you, Mr. Fisher is going to come down to tell you the news, so act surprised.” You felt a surge of adrenaline rush through your veins at his words. You’ll finally know if your work has paid off and if you made the right decision. “You got it, I’ll start practicing my shocked expressions.” You winked at Jesse then made your way inside your office to gather what you needed for your first meeting.

Right before you got ready to take your lunch break Mr. Fisher made his way to your office. You looked up at the older gentleman, out of the three men who helped create the firm, he was the kindest, he still had some sense of humanity in him. “Good afternoon, I just wanted to stop by and let you know that we’ll be announcing our decision on Friday. I also wanted to thank you for your hard work, if it wasn’t for you I’m not too sure if we’d still be running as good as we are. Enjoy your day and keep up the good work.” He smiled and left your office, once he was out of sight Jesse got up and made his way into your office.

“Come on, you’re telling me what he said on our way to lunch. Oh and is your detective friend joining us today?” Your ‘detective friend’ is someone you met in college, more specifically one of your closest friends that you met once you started college. Joy Aurora, she was your college roommate from freshman year and stuck by your side through law school while she pursued a career in law enforcement. Now she works as a lead detective in the prosecutor’s office. She was the first person to sense the bad vibes from Niles but she wanted you to be happy so she didn’t interfere. That still doesn’t mean she doesn’t put her (not so) little opinion about him every time you two talk.

“No, she has to go to Long Island to try to find some evidence for a case she’s working on but she’ll probably be able to meet us later on this week.” You organized your things then went with Jesse to lunch at the local diner.

“So you’re telling me that you have to go to dinner with Niles’ parents tonight but he couldn’t spare the time to have lunch with your brother when he visited a month ago? I mean, I know he’s an ass but that’s a major dick move. But remind me, what do you see in him?” You took a few moments to think about your answer but the pause was enough to convince Jesse. “He was perfect when we were dating. He always surprised me with flowers out of the blue, he always found time to come over and would force me to eat while I was studying for the bar, he was sweet with my parents and brother, he made my heart skip a beat whenever I saw him and I had to catch my breath whenever he smiled at me.”

“But how do you feel about him now? And be honest with me, Y/N.” You knew he was going to ask that question but you still dreaded it. “I don’t know how to feel about him. I feel like he’s tired of me and I feel bored. I feel frustrated with him but I’ve gotten used to it.” You looked down at the engagement ring on your finger and looked at the diamond on it. “Niles surprised me with this engagement ring about two weeks after I started working at the firm. He took me to get my nails done, helped me buy a beautiful dress and took me to dinner at this French restaurant that I still can’t pronounce the name of. Afterwards we walked around Central Park and then he popped the question. Back then I felt like I was on cloud nine, now I feel like I made the worst decision of my life. Isn’t that funny? How your life can change in an instant. I like to think that he’ll change, that he’ll go back to the Niles I fell in love with but with each passing day the hope just fizzes out.”

Jesse got up from his seat across from you and pulled you into a hug. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. I just don’t like seeing how miserable you look. You always look like you’re longing for something else and I don’t know what to do to help you. You’re my friend and I hate feeling like I can’t help you.” You hugged him back and shook your head. “It’s something that I’ll have to deal with by myself, Jesse. I got myself into this mess and I have to get myself out of it, or at least make it more tolerable.”

The rest of your lunch break was spent hearing Jesse complain about his tinder dates and boring love life. After heading back to the office you went to gather your things for the mock trial team you were mentoring and went to the conference room on the 15th floor. The students were still on the way so you could set up everything and refresh yourself on the details of the case they’ll be arguing for their competition. On the elevator ride down you skimmed through the packet to get a general gist of what the case was then made your way into the conference room.

Once inside you set up the packets at each of the empty chairs around the table and set the extras in the middle of it. You checked the time, still about 15 minutes until the students were supposed to come in so you had 15 minutes to kill. Thankfully there was a dry erase board in the conference room so you walked over to it but there were no markers. “Just my luck.” You looked around the conference room, checking wherever you could just to find at least one marker that you could use. You were just about to start crawling around to check any nooks and crannies around the room when you heard a knock on the door.

You fixed yourself a bit and turned to the door. “Sorry to bother, I just came to bring these in.” You saw the male at the door with a box of dry erase markers in his hand. Your eyes roamed along his face and once you met his eyes you quickly recognized him. He was the guy you briefly saw in the morning right before the elevators closed. He had beautifully tanned skin that contrasted perfectly with his blonde hair and bright colored eyes. Your eyes quickly traveled to his slightly exposed chest since the top two buttons of his shirt were opened. But you shook yourself out of your little trance. “Thank you so much, I was on the hunt for dry erase markers.”

You walked over to close the distance between you two and stuck your hand out to take the box from him. Your fingers just barely grazed his and you took the box. “I’m Y/N, I work for Baker, Fisher & Ross. Nice to meet you.” You stuck your free hand out to shake his and you had to fight yourself from going into another trance. “I’m Ryusei, I work a few floors beneath you at Jameson & Cole. My boss told me at the last minute that she had thrown out the last dry erase marker and had me go on a supply hunt so that was a pain. So, if any of the big shots at your firm need an assistant please let me know.” He joked and you shook your head as you laughed, “trust me, if you’re annoyed over a last minute task you’d hate working for any of the partners at my firm. They’re all very snooty and think too highly of themselves.” He chuckled and leaned against the doorframe. “Thanks for the warning.”

You spent the next few minutes chatting with him until his phone started ringing. “Fuck, I have to go set up for my boss’ meeting. It was really great talking to you, I’ll see you around.” You nodded and lifted up the box of markers as he started to take his leave, “thanks for the markers.” He flashed a wink at you then turned the hall to go to the elevators.

You stood in place for a moment and collected your thoughts. At the end of the day he was a stranger that you probably won’t see again so there was no need to be hung up on it. So you carried on with what you were planning to do. By the time the students made their way in you had some notes written on the board and you turned to them. “Alright guys, my name is Y/N and I work for Baker, Fisher & Ross and I’ll be your ticket to winning this whole competition. First things first, we’ll do introductions and then do a little exercise to loosen ourselves up.”

The rest of your day went by quickly and then it was time for what you were dreading most, dinner with Niles’ parents. All you had to do was grin and bear whatever bullshit they had prepared for you but biting your tongue was no easy feat. On the drive back home you received a text from Niles that told you to just meet him and his parents at the restaurant. You had gotten used to just meeting Niles at restaurants since he could never be bothered to meet you at home so you two could go together. After a quick drive back to your loft, you showered and then redid your makeup and slipped on a black dress then quickly left to the restaurant.

Coincidentally it was the restaurant Niles took you to when he proposed so all those memories came flooding back. After parking you entered and the host led you to the table where your fiancé and future in-laws sat. “I hope I didn’t keep you all waiting for too long, I came here as fast as I could.” You gave a short hug to both of his parents then sat down next to your fiancé. Surprisingly he leaned over to kiss you and took your hand in his while his parents began to drone on.

Being with his parents was surprisingly pleasant this time. There were no offhand comments thrown your way and they didn’t let their privilege ooze all over the place. Well, that was until Niles announced that you were up for partner at your law firm. His mother spoke first, “oh dear, if you make partner then you won’t have much time. You two have been together for so long and I don’t have any grandchildren yet. When I was your age I already had Harrison and was pregnant with Niles.” You chewed on your bottom lip to try to fight the urge to roll your eyes then you mustered up a fake smile.

“I completely understand where you’re coming from Susanne but we still haven’t really discussed the topic of children yet and making partner is what I really want.” She shook her head and sighed which meant that it was time for her husband to steer the conversation. “Sweetheart, sometimes you have to push what you want aside. I mean, Niles is doing great on Wall Street and is making more than enough to support you and children. What do you think, son? Don’t you want children?” You looked over at Niles, hoping that he’d defend you in this matter. “Well, I do want children,” a genuine smile was threatening to spread across your face, he was finally defending you, “you guys are right. I can support us, baby. I think that’ll be the perfect next step for our future.”

And just like that, your hopes got crushed. “We’ll just have to talk about it more.” You faked another smile as you spoke and you moved your hand from his grasp. The rest of the dinner went by quickly and you walked with him and his parents to their car. Once they drove off, you and Niles made your way to your car since one of his buddies dropped him off. The drive back was silent and it was almost impossible to fight your frustration and bite your tongue.

It was just bubbling and threatened to boil over. Once you two were in the lobby of your building you had to get it off your chest. “Are you serious, Niles? You expect me to give up my career so I can be a housewife? You know how hard I’ve worked for this and you want me to just throw it away?” He pinched the bridge of his nose and turned to face you, his hazel eyes had no emotion to them, just like the rest of his face. “What’s so wrong with that? You knew from the start that I wanted to have kids and at this rate we’re not going to have them.”

Your eyes widened at his words. “We’re only 28. I’m not throwing away anything for children, I don’t care what you or mommy and daddy dearest think. For once I want you to act like my fiancé and support me and my decisions. Just once.” He opened his mouth to reply but you had already gone ahead of him into the elevator and pressed the button to your floor. Just as the doors were about to close a wrinkly hand stuck its way through then a familiar face walked in. “Just in time and my favorite neighbors are here.” You smiled at the elderly woman as she got on the elevator, “good evening Mrs. Bennett.”

“You two look so spiffy! Was it date night?” You shook your head and spoke to her during the short ride while Niles leaned against the opposite wall and watched you two in silence. Just as the elevator was about to stop at your floor Mrs. Bennett gently placed her hand on top of yours, “are you two in search of a puppy? My daughter’s dog just gave birth and we have too many puppies to give away. If you’re not busy just stop by my apartment.”

Niles opened his mouth to say something but you beat him to the punch, “how wonderful, I’ll join you on the way to your apartment and see the puppies.” Niles scoffed and rolled his eyes, “that mutt is going to be your responsibility, not mine.” He muttered and walked out of the elevator once the metal doors opened then you and Mrs. Bennett followed behind.

He went into the direction of your shared apartment and you went the opposite direction. Mrs. Bennett shook her head and looked at you, “trouble in paradise?” You shrugged and followed her to her apartment, “I guess you can say that.” She sighed and decided not to press the subject further. She opened the door to her apartment and right in the middle of the living room you saw a cardboard box with multiple eyes staring at you. “They’re akitas and just take your time with them to find your perfect match. Do you want some tea?” You shook your head and approached the box, there were 6 puppies in the box all begging for your attention. You played with them for a little then held up one, the one that practically clung onto you during your entire visit. He was a boy and had black fur with white spots over his eyes that made it look like he had little glasses. “I think I’ll be taking this one home.”

Mrs. Bennett approached with her cup of tea and smiled, “perfect and don’t worry about paying for him. Think of him as a thank you for all the times you came over to check on me and bought groceries for me.” You hugged her and with a short goodbye you left. As you walked through the hall you held the puppy up as you thought of a name for him. “Spot? Hm, that’s a little generic. Biscuit? I can see you don’t like that one. How about Atlas?” The puppy wiggled in your grip and yipped, which you took as a sign of confirmation. “Atlas it is.”

You unlocked the door to your loft and walked inside, Niles was in the kitchen with a glass of whiskey in his hand. “So you picked one out?” He didn’t even bother to look at you or Atlas as he spoke but you just shrugged it off and set Atlas on the floor. “Mhm, his name is Atlas. Don’t sound too excited.” You watched as Atlas approached Niles and nudged his leg with his nose but Niles just stepped away from him. You patted your thigh which caught the puppy’s attention and made him run back to you. Niles finally looked over at you and then looked down at Atlas, whose tail was wagging a mile a minute.

“Well Atlas is your problem, not mine. I don’t understand how you’re not ready for kids but can sign up to take care of a dog.” He downed the rest of the contents in the glass and put it in the dishwasher. “I’m going to shower then I’ll sleep in the spare bedroom since you’ll want to share our bed with that mutt.” You just watched as he disappeared into your shared bedroom to gather some things then went into the spare bedroom. You looked down at Atlas who looked back up at you with wide eyes and leaned down to pick him up. “Don’t mind him, he’s grumpy. I’ll just shower you with enough love for two people.” You kissed his snout and made your way to your bedroom to get ready for bed.

The rest of the week went by in a blur, you were able to fit Atlas into your schedule easily and even Niles warmed up to him. He even surprised the pup with a squeaky toy one night after coming home from work.

Soon, it was already the big day. The day where you’d find out if you made the right decision for your career path. You decided to wear what you dubbed your lucky dress, which was just a red dress that you wore to important consultations. You did your makeup and made yourself some coffee then brought Atlas to Mrs. Bennett’s so she could watch him while you were at work. On the drive to the office you felt excited, adrenaline surged through your veins and you sang along to whatever song played on the radio at the top of your lungs. You went through the usual morning routine, getting a croissant for Jesse and everything went as it usually did.

The day went by so slowly in your opinion. You wanted to know what their decision was already but you had to be patient. The time soon passed and you made your way to Vincenzo’s with Jesse. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder and kept you close to him as you two walked into the restaurant. “This is your big day superstar, did you pack your things for our move to the top floor?” You smiled and lifted a hand to gently pat his chest. “Once the announcement is made I’ll get my things ready.”

The restaurant was packed. It seemed like the whole office building was invited. You looked around but Niles wasn’t there but maybe he was running late. There was no way he’d miss an important day like this. Or at least you hoped he wouldn’t miss it. “I’m going to get some drinks, I’ll be right back.” You moved from Jesse’s grip and walked over to the bar, there stood Joy. You smiled brightly and hugged her tightly. “Hi beautiful, where’s your knight in shining armor? I haven’t seen him here yet.”

You shrugged at her question and grabbed a strawberry daiquiri, “no clue, I sent a message earlier to make sure he knew where to go but I haven’t gotten a reply from him yet.” Joy raised an eyebrow and even though she hadn’t said anything yet, you knew what was going to come out of her mouth. “I know, just give him some time. Maybe he got caught up or he’s on his way.” She shrugged and took a sip of her beer, “if you insist but I hope he shows face soon. If not, I’m going to talk your ear off about him and nothing will be able to stop me.” You laughed and nodded.

You spent the next half hour with Jesse and Joy then your attention was piqued when Mr. Baker, Mr. Fisher and Mr. Ross stood at the small stage and Mr. Baker tapped his microphone. “Good evening everyone. First off, thank you for taking the time to come and celebrate this event with us. This decision we’re about to announce took so much time and so much debating, I just want to say that both people who were up for this position are more than deserving for this position and it pains us all to offer it to only one person. So, with great pleasure I would like you all to congratulate Mr. Kuon Wataru!”

Your eyes widened at the announcement and your heart sunk to the pit of your stomach. “Kuon got it? He made partner?” You asked your questions to no one in particular and you watched as Kuon got up to thank everyone. Mr. Fisher made his way through the crowd and approached you with an apologetic look on his face. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I fought for you as much as I could but they wouldn’t budge no matter what.” You nodded and downed the rest of your drink as Mr. Fisher placed a hand on your shoulder and gently squeezed it before walking away.

Jesse placed his arm around you and held you close to him, shaking his head. “Fucking bastard, his father made that big donation during our last fundraiser so I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what swayed their opinions. It’s not like all of us were born with a silver spoon in our mouths.” You felt like you were suffocating, like there were large hands clamping around your neck and they were squeezing down as hard as possible.

“I need to get some air.” You made your way through everyone as quickly as you could. All you had was tunnel vision to the exit, not even acknowledging anyone that was near you. You went out through the side entrance and leaned against the wall as your chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. You went through your bag for your phone and dialed Niles’ number. After a few rings you finally got an answer, “hey babe.” His words were slurred and you could smell the alcohol on his breath through the screen and you heard all the chatter and laughter in the background.

Your frustration quickly rose and you couldn’t even hold yourself back. “Are you fucking kidding me? You’re out getting shit faced during one of the biggest nights of my life? I bet you didn’t even remember what today was. You couldn’t even bother to reply to my text earlier. You know, I had a feeling you’d end up pulling some shit like this but I tried to push any doubt aside because why would my fiancé not show up? Why wouldn’t my fiancé be around for such an important occasion? But it turns out that you don’t fucking care! You don’t care about me and what I want, if it’s not about you getting your way then you don’t care! Don’t bother coming home tonight, don’t bother coming back at all, I’m done with you Niles. This is the last straw. It’s over.” You hung up the phone and tossed it back into your bag.

You felt the tears build up and they quickly blurred your vision. You wiped at your eyes to try to hide the tears, you’d just hate it if anyone came out and saw you like this. You didn’t want to go through the whole explanation of how your life turned to shit in less than 10 minutes. You decided that you should just head home and then you could drown yourself in whatever alcohol you had stored and cuddle with Atlas. You went through your bag to find your car keys and just your luck, they weren’t there. “Of course, I left them in the fucking office.”

You wiped your eyes once more and made your way to the office. You felt your phone vibrate in your bag, of course it was Niles trying to make up some poor excuse to explain why he didn’t show up but you weren’t in the mood to deal with it. You walked inside of your office building and stood in front of the elevators.

For some reason you looked down at your hands and saw the diamond of your engagement ring glistening in the light. The tears built up again as you looked at the ring. You were so caught up you didn’t even hear anyone approach. You sniffled and wiped your eyes then a voice broke you out of your trance.

“Hey, are you alright?”

taglist: @blueparadis @vinsmouke @dabibreeder @nekee-lilac02

[rcmclachlan]

I’m going to Boston for my birthday in May. I’ve never been before. Do you know any cool places or must sees to visit while there?

Hey there, fellow Mayby! There are plenty of things to do in Boston—it all depends on what kinds of things you like to do. Most of it’s outdoors, but don’t let that stop you! With a pub every six feet and more historically-themed gift shops than you can shake a Patriots shirt at, you’ll find something! 

Outdoors

May can still be kinda chilly, so these are all weather-depending, buuuut:

+ Whale watch: Depart from Gloucester or Boston and head on down to Stellwagen Bank to see humpback and right whales! Last time I went with @nanoochka and @neenya and it was awesome. If you leave from Gloucester, make sure to try the clam chowder that some rando will be selling outside the marina for $5. It’s dubious in nature and the guy dishing it out will probably look like a just-escaped serial killer, but for $5 it’s the bomb.

+ Public Gardens: Stroll through the newly blooming Gardens for a glimpse of several species of waterfowl that will cut you for a piece of bread, and about 75 different wedding photo shoots happening simultaneously. But the squirrels will literally sit in your lap if you let them and people are walking all sorts of friendly doggos, so it all evens out.

+ Arboretum: If you love trees, then boy howdy, do I have a place for you. And since you’re going in May, chances are it’ll be, as all the flamboyant space radio hosts say, SUPER GREEN. It’s also free, so there’s that.

+ Freedom Trail: If you have approximately 4 days and the historical boner of a 67-year old who’s never cracked a textbook or watched The Patriot, then check out the 16 sites on the Freedom Trail! 

+ Duck Boat Tour: I think the Duck Boat Tours were started by someone who, like the rest of us Massholes, was 1000% done with all the potholes and dreamt of just driving straight into the Charles River. Sit with a whole bunch of strangers on a weird semi-aquatic Hummer and, when the guide invites all the little kids on board to drive the thing, secretly root for them to run over someone in a kayak.

+ Faneuil Hall & Quincy Market: It’s a big, outdoor mall. The restaurant Cheers is there (it’s not that great, lbr) and so is this bakery that makes frosted sugar cookies the size of your head. Also, visit the Newbury Comics there—it’s the best one.

+ Newbury Street: Come one, come all, to the most overpriced string of boutiques, shops, and restaurants this side of Jupiter. But it’s a great place to people watch. 

+ Harvard Square: Just to be able to say that you tripped over the uneven sidewalk outside of the Garage.

+ Skywalk: Schlep your way to the top of the city! It’s a guided walking tour and a reminder that Boston’s city grid is a fucking mess of old horse trails and terrible drivers. You can also see every Dunkin Donuts within 100 miles in every direction.

+ Plymouth Rock: It’s a rock. A small one. I’ve just saved you a lot of time and disappointment. You’re welcome.

+ The Middle East: I don’t drink, but it’s a great place to meet up, get some apps, and listen to some awesome live music. Check to see who’s playing. I’ve never seen a terrible music act there.

Indoors

+ Museums: Science, Aquarium (it’s a fish museum, don’t fight me on this), Gardner, Fine Arts, JFK Library, MIT, etc, etc. You want museums? We got museums. There are more. It’s just... how many museums do you really need to visit in one stop? 

+ Legoland: Not sure if they’re letting in the whole public or if you still need a kid under the age of 14 to get in, but take a chance and grab a child off the street if you must. Legoland is worth it.

+ Boston Public Library: Half library, half Mr. Darcy’s foyer from the 2005 Pride and Prejudice, it’s actually pretty awesome. I did a photoshoot there once. 

Restaurants

+ Fogo de Chao: Make sure you’re hungry, and don’t make the rookie mistake of going to the salad bar and filling up on balsamic cocktail onions before Go Time. Also, don’t try to crawl into their literal oil drum full of parmesan shards. Which I’ve definitely never done.

+ Yume Wo Katare: Have you ever wondered what hopes and dreams taste like, or ever wanted someone to force you to say yours out loud? Then get ready for some delicious and uncomfortable ramen!

+ Hei La Moon: So much dim sum. So much. Eat an entire tray of sticky BBQ pork buns for me, please. Best if you go with a group of 5 or more so you can order a stupid amount of food and not feel bad about yourself (or the bill).

+ Causeway: This is north of Boston, in the lovely sea shanty town of Gloucester. If you’re already up there for the whale watch, then DEFINITELY make sure you go here. Best seafood, and the BEST clam chowder you will ever have. Ever. I am a clam chowder connoisseur and I have never found a better white fluid to put in one’s body. Also highly recommend the haddock au gratin. You’ll have enough leftovers to see you through like the next two weeks.

+ Legal Seafood: I’m kidding. If you go here, I will personally kick the shit out of you.

Any of my fellow Masshats want to chime in? Did I miss anything? 

[yunkiwii]

—potions gone wrong—

☆ hogwarts au ☆

pairing: bsf!hyunjin x gn!reader | ft. jeongin and mentions of minho

supportive oc: angela, female

genre: sfw. comedic and chaotic, may be considered fluff by some people

wc: 2.4k

warnings: hints of jealousy, mentions of illegal (magical world wise) actions, potion-induced obsession

a/n: i'm pretty sure that in the harry potter series amortentia doesn't work the way i described here, but let's just ignore that shall we? ♡

summary: two boys decide to make a love potion to conquer the crush of one of them. unfortunately, something seems to have gone wrong and y/n needs to step in..

shout out to: ficscafe prompt dialogue event ♡

↳ "I'll give you 20 bucks if you kiss me."

↳ "I don't think that's legal, but we can work around it."

↳ "Shut up, this isn't a wattpad fanfic"

Completely imersed in the pile of books you gathered in the library in order to try and understand more about potions, you get startled when a boy throws himself into the chair next to you, a yellow stripped tie hitting your head in the process.

"I'll give you 20 bucks if you kiss me."

"What? No!", you give him a disgusted and confused look before digging your head into the old dusty pages again.

"Come on!! Angela keeps coming to me trying to snuggle and kiss me and-", as dramatic as he is, Hyunjin pretends he is going to be sick, exaggerating on the nasty sounds way too close to your ear.

"What? Why?", your bestfriend finally caught your full attention as you turn to face him, "Wait, Angela as in like, Angela your major crush perfect-Angela? Weren't you supposed to like, I don't know, enjoy the attention?" But then the face he makes, his cheeks turning shades of pink as his gaze drifts away from you and he sinks down in his chair in embarrassment, realization hits you, "No! No you did not! Are you like what, dumb?", you flick is head inducing a loud squeal to come out his mouth.

"It was Jeongin's idea!", his voice three pitches higher than before, "And I can't be that dumb if I managed to make that stupid love potion work. But that's beside the point, will you do it or not?"

"Do what? Kiss you? And how will that help you dimwit?", you went to flick his head again because, to be fair, he deserved it, but Hyunjin knew you too well and held your hand in time to stop you from hurting his pretty face, as he likes to state.

"To break the curse! Make her give up on me by making her think we're together or something!"

"What curse? There is no curse! And she isn't even thinking right now, she might just kill me out of jealousy!", at this point you're pratically yelling at each other and are forced to leave the library, resuming this odd conversation on your way to Ravenclaw's common room.

"I still can't believe you let yourself go with what Jeongin tells you. He's evil you know?"

"Should've guessed by the green scarf huh?", you slap his arm lightly, not very fond of the jokes made regarding the fact your other best friend is a Slytherin.

"So, how do I solve this?", he basically pleas at you as you sit down on the desk next to the fireplace, as far away as possible from your housemates. Every two in three students has made, or attempted to make, some sort of potion or spell to have something in their advantage. However, amortentia wasn't just "some potion", and if some were to find out that Hwang - head in space - Hyunjin succeded at his attempt they would never leave his poor ass alone, so for now your plan was to keep this subject as low-key as possible.

"Marry her." you say nonchalantly while, without his knowledge, already looking up all about amortentia, its possible side effects and how long it would take to wear off - if ever-, receiving a whine in return.

"It was really fun at first, you know? The flirting was cute, the smooches were great," and boy he put some emphasis on that adjective,"but now it's like she's obsessed with me! She's clingy and talks with that annoying voice and I can't seem to get rid of her!" Hyunjin throws himself face down into the old couch and whines again, words muffled by the pillow where he burried his face. "She's probably standing right outside the door just now!"

"Wait, what do you mean it was fun at first? How long has this been going on Hwang Hyunjin? And why am I only knowing of this now?", you turn around in your chair way too fast, hitting with your knee on the other chair next to you before facing the mop of brown hair all spread around the blue pillow.

"Well, I barely ever saw you all week!", the boy turns his head just the minimum amount to look at you, "You're either with your nose buried in those old books, or with your hands all over Lee Minho! Not my fault you no longer have time for your friends..."

"First of all," you pull out the pillow he's laying on, his face falling on the black cushion as a few curses leave his lips, "lower your tone! I did not spend the week with my hands all over Minho, I am tutoring him in potions!"

"Which you're not that good at, that's why you walk everywhere with those fat books..." Hyunjin rolls his eyes at you as he recovers the pillow from your hands again, "Don't deny it (y/n), you've got the hots for him!"

"Oh sweetie, I sense jealousy in your tone... is that why you gave Angela a poorly made potion?", you show him the page you've been reading between the backs and forths of your not so relevent argument, only for him to realize the potion should've worn off two days ago. Instead, it only got worse. "Perhaps you could use some reading too huh?"

The boy rips the book from your hands, grunting between his teeth sounds you doubted to be words as he makes his way out, only to shut the door as soon as he opens it, squealing loudly when his eyes meet the ones from the Gryffindor's brunette standing right in the middle of the hallway.

"I'm telling you (y/n), she won't leave me alone! It's like she's obsessed!", Hyunjin keeps his back against the door, afraid the girl could open it by some miracle driven by her potion induced feelings, hence she doesn't have the password.

"Well, you see Hyunjin... that's because she is! And it's your fault, you should simply face it..."

"Oh I'm going the kill Jeongin...", the boy grunts ignoring your words completely as the whines coming from the other side of the door overlapped them, "Can you go get him? Or get rid of her?"

You make your way to the door Hyunjin refuses to unblock and, when words and pushes didn't make the tall boy move, you had to resort to your wand, although the simple threat was more than enough for him to make way for you. He stayed hidden in the corner as you parted the door slightly to tell the girl her beloved had disapparated from there, and she should probably look at the quidditch court. The fact she believed you only proved how strongly she was affected by the potion, since everyone knew Hyunjin would never go to a sports court by his free will and disapparating into and out Hogwarts wasn't possible at all.

As soon as the path got clear you both made your way to the shrieking shack through the whomping willow everyone was so afraid of, but that was exactly why the three of you claimed it as your secret meeting place.

Jeongin was already waiting as you sent him a message through your magic notepad when you got rid of Angela, and you had to secure Hyunjin to not throw the book at the Slytherin boy who only laughed in return. The laughter didn't last long though, because you only stopped Hyunjin so you would be the one scolding the younger one, flicking his head the same way you did to the lover boy earlier.

"Hey! What did you do that for?", the boy frowned at you rubbing his forehead.

"To bring you back to reality, so you can both fix the mess you made!"

"But what's the problem?" Jeongin looked at you with honest confusion on his face, "Is this about the potion? You know that thing wears off in like a week or so right?"

"Exactly... do the math now genius..." Hyunjin rolls his eyes before leaning his back against the spiderweb covered walls.

The three of you spent the whole afternoon trying to figure out what went wrong in the first place, you analyzing every single detail of the procedure, and the boys trying to recreate every step they took to reach the final product. But, after hours of research and theories nothing seemed to have gone wrong, well except for the exaggerated and long-lasting effect of the potion.

"We should just obliviate the poor girl..." suggested Jeongin at one point, head in his hands as a sing of withdrawal.

“I don’t think that’s legal, but we can work around it...” You agree with him closing the book you were now reading for the fifth time.

"Are you guys serious? Because that sounds great! Can we get away with it?" Hyunjin's eyes were sparkling in hope as he shifted in his seat to a more straight up position, ready to do whatever it took to get to walk in peace around the school, without being unexpectedly smooched in the cheek and squezeed into a hug every time the girl spotted him.

"No, it's a joke!" You both sigh at your friend's desperation before calling it a day, deciding to resume your research first thing in the morning.

As per usual, you met with the boys for breakfast at the dining hall, though this time they weren't alone and you couldn't help out a giggle when Angela, as glued to Hyunjin as possible while feeding him something funny looking with a spoon, winked at you as soon as you sat in front of her and next to Jeongin. The latter looked almost as horrified as the pampered boy, and you had to focus to try and keep yourself from bursting into laughter before the scene that was unfolding in front of you.

Hyunjin looked like an annoyed pouty baby slumped in his chair - as an attempt to go unnoticed -, while the smiley girl, - one that seemed to have way too much energy in the morning -, pulled some strands of the boy's hair behind his ear before kissing his cheek, "You're so pretty Hyunnie-jin, and I hate to leave you," the girl pouts as she pinches his cheeks rather aggressively, "but don't worry sugarplum, I'll be waiting for you in the astronomy tower when you leave class." This time the kiss is aimed at his lips, but Hyunjin antecipates her intentions and dodges his head with a slick move, just not fast enough to be fully free of her, ending up with her lips awkwardly attached half to his jaw, half to the corner of his lip.

"So you decided to give in?" You couldn't help the grin that was forming on your face, finding it hilarious how the universe always had a way to keep things balanced.

"Shut up. I had to if I didn't want to starve myself, it was one sacrafice I was willing to take." Hyunjin furiously rubs his face with a napkin, as if it would erase the memory of the previous demonstration of affection.

"I say it's the karma, you were basically playing and manipulating her the moment you gave her the potion, now you face the consequences."

"It's like she's taking revenge..." Jeongin mumbles more to himself than to his friends, but he was still heard, and had now two pairs of eyes locked on him waiting for a further explanation to what seemed to be a pretty plausable theory. "We already concluded we didn't do anything wrong, right?"

"Yes, it's still hard to believe though..." you take a sip of your pumpking juice with a raise eybrow, honestly still impressed at how they pulled that off.

"So what if she got aware that Hyunjin gave-"

"We, Jeongin, we!! This wasn't just me okay? I just got the, uh, benefits?"

"Ok, sure, whatever... What if she became aware that we," emphasis on the pronoun as he glanced at Hyunjin, "gave her a potion and now that it wore off she is pulling this act as a pay back? Because, according to our lover boy, if it was nice at first then why would she suddenly start acting all obsessively?"

Both you and Hyunjin took a moment to reflect on this new theory, one Jeongin was really proud of as showed by his smug grin when he crossed his arms and relaxed back in his chair.

"I hate to admit it, but that makes a lot of sense... and explains why she winked at me when I got here..."

"Okay yes, she is faking it... why else would she wink at (y/n) when I'm the one she's supposed to be focused on?", the boy threw his arms up with a questionting - and slightly offended - look.

"Time for confrontation!" you were already standing up with Hyunjin following the lead, but you held yourselves back when you realized Jeongin wasn't moving, looking between the both of you still grinning.

"I've got a better idea..."

It was a terrible idea, you thought, and wanted no part in it at all so you let the boys discuss the details while you just sat there judging their poor life decisions.

The plan was for Hyunjin, instead of confronting her and get it over with as you suggested, to play along as if he too was deeply in love with her, and see who would break out of character first. As much as you tried to explain how childish and stupid the plan was, the boys simply wouldn't listen to you, convinced this was the best idea they've ever had.

Hyunjin got oddly excited about this and ran to astronomy class, already antecipating the act he would pull off when he'd see the girl waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs when he'd get out, leaving you and Jeongin alone in the dining all. The contrast of your opinions on this was pretty clear in your faces, Jeongin laughing loudly, you furrowing your brows and shaking your head in disapproval.

Then, all of a sudden, the boy stops laughing and looks at you, "What if they actually end up falling in love after all this?"

He sounded seriously concerned yet amused at the same time, while you only rolled your eyes at him before collecting your books and leaving for class as well.

"Shut up, this isn't a wattpad fanfic."

networks: @ficscafe @k-library @k-dinernet @districtninewriters

taglist: @dreamwrld @su-lix @bobateastay @leihey @serialee @hyunsluvv

⇢ let me know if you want to be added to the taglist ♡

[earnestly-endlessly]

Hiii could you rec any fics where Erik or Charles or both are vampires and or werewolves?

Thank you so much dear lots of love

I'm so sorry for being so late with this, but in compensation I do have tons of fics that should quench your thirst for some vampire/werewolf cherik. Enjoy!

Vampire

And the Gunslinger Followed – musical_emjay

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr hunts the things that go bump in the night.

He’s done so since he was a child, since the first time his mother put a knife in his hand and told him how to use it, told him why he should.

But ten years alone on the road has caught up to him, left him wrung out and longing for a place to rest, recharge, get his head back on straight. Though nowhere has ever truly felt like home, he heads straight for New York City, a place that’s always had more to offer him by way of warmth and comfort than any other. What he finds when he gets there, however, is several miles south of anything approaching restful. Old acquaintances, old memories, and a mysterious stranger who has him forgetting all his rules — Erik soon realizes there are decisions he needs to make, before circumstances intervene and make them for him. Otherwise, he might not like the result.

An Accident of Circumstance – manic_intent

Summary: Secret Santa, for azryal00, prompts: virginity, stalking or vampire AU. Decided to attempt all, in one fic. As part of a reward for his successes in border skirmishes, Sebastian Shaw allows Erik discretion to create a childe of his own, within reason. Erik rebels.

B-Negative – manic_intent

Summary: Written for the 5 Acts thing on livejournal, for toestastegood's 'Vampire AU' Act. This was originally going to be some sort of True Blood parody, but it somehow became a bit more serious. :/

Bloodbound – ikeracity

Summary: Finding himself strapped for cash at the start of his senior year, Erik decides to become a donor at TypO, a blood bar where vampires come to drink fresh blood from consenting donors, safely and legally. There, he catches the eye of Charles Xavier, vampire, telepath, professor at Columbia, and quite possibly the most alluring person Erik's ever met. Their first meeting sets into motion a bond much deeper than they can understand, one that neither of them had ever expected.

Old Metal (Blood, Memory and Rubber Ducks) – pprfaith

Summary: Erik is a vampire. Sookie, err, Charles is a telepath. Any questions?

Food Allergies – madneto

Summary: A bout of insomnia one fateful night leads Erik to Xavier's, the late night bookstore near Columbia University, whose owner Erik quickly decides is the best thing since... well, since maybe ever. Charles is brilliant, funny, passionate, handsome, and every other good adjective Erik can think of, and even though they've only been on three dates, Erik is convinced this is the start of something perfect.

Then Charles has a bad reaction to the food Erik cooks for them on their fourth date, leaving Erik to wonder if maybe he's completely botched his one chance at true love.

Series

The Price for Eternity – madneto

Summary: Erik and Charles are relaxing in the park when Erik decides to ask Charles a question that has long been on his mind, re: vampires. The answer is unexpected.

Series

The Boy with the Sigil Tattoo – keire_ke

Summary: Buffy AU. The story of a boy and his vampire.

Love and Other Secrets – Microsaur

Summary: Erik is a vampire that would much rather be left alone, Charles is a baronet that can't seem to accept that.

The First One – SassyDuckQueen

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a vampire living in a peaceful life in New York City, where he works as a night time security guard at the Pentagram. He's in a relationship with Charles Xavier, a young professor at a private university. However, his life is thrown upside down by the return of his wayward son, Peter, who informs him that an old enemy has resurfaced.

Series

Blood Bound – WaxRhapsodic

Summary: Charles is sick. Again. He decides to do something drastic about it and take a Blood Contract with a Vampire who turns out to be dangerously attractive.

Night Holds No Redemption – isabella

Summary: Vampire Hunters AU

When vampires roam the city at night there are also those who will hunt them down.

Charles Xavier and James “Logan” Howlett are vampire hunters part of the NIB – Night Investigation Bureau, in New York. When Erik, a vampire Charles failed to kill, comes back to haunt him Charles finds he no longer can run from his past and has to face the truth about the monster he created.

Pairing info: Flashbacks are Charles/Erik, present focuses first on the growing relationship between Logan/Charles, then on Charles/Erik.

Endgame will be Charles/Erik.

Night Life – Ook

Summary: he young journalist, or researcher, or whatever he is, is going to get himself in trouble around here. Erik can tell.

A researcher who doesn't know when to stop.

A man who doesn't take no for an answer.

A vampire that doesn't give interviews.

Werewolf

Dancing in the Rain – Pangea, velvetcadence

Summary: Werewolf alpha Erik found a human pup Charles alone in the forest and took him back to his lair. Erik protected and cared for the boy, though he was barely a mature wolf himself.

A few years passed, Charles grew up so pretty, and Erik was afraid he would miss his kind and go back to them, leaving Erik to be alone again - but Charles stayed and chose to be Erik’s mate.

Moon Song – ikeracity

Summary: Werewolf AU. When Charles is captured by hunters, Erik and his pack go after him. It turns out there might be some room for redemption left for both of them after all.

Loyalty and Obedience – Ook

Summary: A human rent boy working the streets gets rescued from a pimp by the Lehnsherr Pack Head and his Second on a recruitment trip. Werewolves, huh?

Who knows where this one's going?

Skin Deep – manic_intent

Summary: Written for the kmeme, Everyone-is-a-werewolf AU. Erik happens upon a seemingly abandoned mansion in Westchester during a full moon and finds an insanely clueless werewolf living in isolation.

In Escrow – manic_intent

Summary: Same 'verse as Skin Deep, between the final part and the epilogue. Charles abruptly realizes that he's unable to shift forms after a full moon. Which can only mean one thing.

Supernatural and the Scientist – Caradee

Summary: Charles Xavier is a upcoming geneticist and wildlife biologist who’s next big thesis reveals a little to much about the hidden werewolf community. Now Erik Lehnsehrr is suppose to figure out who it is feeding Xavier the information and put an end to it.

However, things are not what they appear.

Open Season – Caradee

Summary: Charles is a adorable omega wolf who has no sense for pack dynamics and wanders on his own. Erik is the exhausted Alpha of the pack who is unfortunately smitten with him. Its hunting season, nothing can go wrong. Right?

Only Hope – onaxe

Summary: According to werewolf law, an unwed Omega cannot legally hold custody of a child. When Charles is challenged for custody over his 17 year old sister, Raven, he desperately turns to the only solution available. He marries a complete stranger, Alpha Erik Lehnsherr, who is haunted by a mysterious past.

Note: Unfinished but a fun read.

Tooth and Nail – TurtleTotem

Summary: Erik is no longer part of Charles's pack. It's none of his business who he takes as a mate.

Vampires and Werewolves

For you, Eternity – gerec, lachatblanche

Summary: Erik still remembers the day he lost everything to a pack of werewolves; his family, his village, and the love of his life. Left with nothing but regret and pain everlasting, he turns to Sebastian Shaw - who promises revenge in exchange for loyalty eternal.

For centuries, he leads his clan of vampires in a war against their hated enemy, the same werewolf pack responsible for the slaughter of Erik’s village. But now Logan - the pack’s new leader - wants to make peace with their age old adversaries; an act that neither side particularly cares to pursue.

Adding to this volatile mix is one Charles Xavier, scientist and academic, drawn to the continent by his fascination for the supernatural and the locals’ tales of love, betrayal and never-ending war…

On the Scent – dedkake

Summary: The full moon is nearing and Charles decides to visit his neighbor.

Does not ebb – StarkMad

Summary: prompt: "...I would love a fic with Charles and Erik in an Underworld AU basically with Charles as Selene's character and Erik as Michael Corvin's character

and/ooor nonnie could do an Underworld: Rise of the Lycans and Charles as Sonja's character and Erik as Lucian (feel free and make me cry, dearest nonnie) feel free to do whatever you want as long as the AU still remains identifiable (and just kill me with tons of Chares and Erik drama and lurve and heartache and whatever.

Dear Neighbour Mine – issabella

Summary: Fill for the prompt by Lonelyparts: Charles is a telepathic werewolf living next door to a vampire who favours severe black turtlenecks and metal coffins.

Of course they have to annoy each other first, before dangerous circumstances bring them together.

[do-y0u-have-to-let-it-linger]

hi!!! can i get an x-men shift please? i’m bi (but hetero leaning) and use she/her pronouns. i’m a sagittarius, INTP, and am super into pop culture, movies tv shows music stuff like that. i’m an introvert, pretty shy at first but once you get to know me i’m pretty funny and kinda an asshole. i’m 5’7”, plus size and curvy, with longish wavy brown hair, blue eyes, and wear black glasses. i dress pretty comfy, jeans and t-shirts, sweatshirts, but i also have a leather jacket when i want to look more put together. mostly wear vans and converse. i love taylor swift, star wars, and all the superhero movies out there. i honestly don’t know what my mutation would be, i’ve never found one that fits right i guess. can’t wait to see who i’m paired with! love your blog, and thank you :)

I ship you with Peter Maximoff!

Warning: ✨contains swear words, mentions of being high, and grammatical errors probably✨

Peter is the type of person who thinks of bold and outrageous plans, but is horrible at executing them.

This is especially apparent now that he is part of the X-Men, because of the high stakes that often come hand and hand with these plans.

Yet at this moment, standing in front of you, attempting to respond to your simple and reasonable question, he feels as though the stakes of this plan are higher than any other he has previously made.

You and Peter were very close, most of you X-Men were. Shared trauma bonded you all like a family. So you were very comfortable around each other, like the: "We literally laugh at each other's farts and say 'love ya!' When one of us leaves a room." comfortable, so it concerned you that he seemed so nervous. You repeated your, as previously stated, simple and reasonable question.

"Peter, what the fuck."

You were mid-way through Empire Strikes Back when he first appeared, standing in front of the TV. Generally, when someone is watching a movie alone with the volume level barely audible, at 2 AM in the morning, they do not expect to be interrupted, but there he was. Interrupting you.

So you had asked him if he wanted to watch the movie with you and he said no.

Then you asked him if something was wrong and he said no.

But after he had stood in front of the television long enough for you to have paused the movie, you had come to the conclusion that he was messing with you. Hence the two "what the fuck"s.

He finally responded, seemly returning to his body after his brain's small vacation to who knows where.

"I need to talk to you about something important, and I wanted it to go a certain way but that way never actually happens so I'm doing it another way." Well, that was even more incoherent than his usual sentences.

"Wait- are you high again?"

"No! No. Well, maybe a little- but that's not the point."

"Sure, now what's going on."

"We're like... technically co-workers because of us being X-Men and shit, right?"

"If Bat-Man and Robin are co-workers, then yes."

"Don't be self-deprecating, you're way cooler than a silly side-kick."

You raised your eyebrows at him, "I wasn't Robin in that analogy, but thank you."

"Wait, I'm Robin?"

"You are a grown man who just used the world silly un-ironically, and I feel like that's something Robin would do. Just to clarify I don't know shit about Bat-man."

"Hey I'm barely a grown man- I'm not 25 yet, that would entail being a grown man, and I've got time 'till then! Anyway, stop going off-topic."

"Then move on from being weirdly defensive about being an adult in the eyes of the state."

"Touché. So, we're co-workers."

"Correct. What's the point."

"That's a problem."

"Why?"

"Well, ok this needs to be prefaced so consider this me shushing you in a respectful and not sexist way. You have been shushed."

"...Ok?"

"Shh! Now I get to ramble. So you know movies?" He gestured towards the school's collection of movies that sat next to the tv, and you nodded confused. "So in these movies, things happen certain ways, but those certain ways seem just as scary as the opposite of those ways." Yeah, he was totally high. "So, wow I'm starting so many sentences with the word 'so'. Anyway- I want to tell you something but I don't want it to be like a movie but I don't want it to be like not in a movie either. So I just want to say it then leave. Like- I'm going to run after I say it. Is that okay? You are temporarily un-shushed."

"If you're dying it's not, but if it's basically anything else then yeah. Go for it, you speedy coward."

"Cool. I mean- the nickname hurt but cool. Cool." He looked at you for a second. "Can you like... turn around?"

"Turn around?"

He now acknowledged that that was an odd thing to ask. "...Yeah. Is that dumb?"

"No, no, I'll turn around." To lighten the awkward mood, you made a joke. "A reasonable price for your terrible secrets to be revealed to me." It was not a very funny joke, but you tried your best and earned a (pity) scoff from him.

You were now both sitting criscrossed on the couch, facing the same direction. You were staring at a wall you found very uninteresting, and he was staring at the back of the head belonging to a person he found very interesting.

"So- basically I think you're... pretty..." He said the word intending to add another adjective after it, like 'cool', but he decided against it because that would be stupid. "And I have this problem where when I figure out I want to, quote-unquote, date someone, which is a gross word, by the way, I'm always friends with them. That means it has to be this dramatic thing. But I don't want it to be! You know? I just want to tell you that I have a stupid crush on you like a normal person. And- that's why I suddenly started hating training, because who likes to see people they want to smooch almost fake die, huh? No one! That's who! And I want to explain why I like you, but whenever I talk to Wanda about you, I always end up describing you the way a first grader describes their crush! Like: she's pwetty and smawt or whatever but that's fuckin' dumb. I guess that makes sense because I don't have crushes on people ever, and I barely dated in school, so I have no idea how to do this and I just want to pass you one of those 'hey, do you like me?!' notes with the fuckin' checkmarks!! And I am an adult person who is kind of afraid of kissing! What?!? Also, I don't have abs like Scott! Or boobs, and I know you like people with or without boobs and boobs are great! Also, to backtrack, don't think that I think you would go for Scott, even though if you were to, I would be supportive of you, but also sad because I would prefer if you went for me! So I want to be normal. Normal like the people in movies who meet someone cute and ask them out and not like the movies with the big stupid confessions. Trust me, if I had noticed that I whatever you like a year ago, I would have asked you out! Well no I wouldn't of because I would be too afraid to talk to you. But anyway I made you this," He reached around you and handed you a folded-up note. "Don't open it until I run away, but just leave it here with your response. If you check no, I bet if we paid Jean enough money she would erase this interaction from our brains. I only have seven dollars but I'm betting on a 'friends and family' discount. But.. if you say yes, I can ask you out like a dick in a movie, knowing you'll say yes because I am a speedy coward. I want you to call me a speedy coward when I do cowardly shit speedily, then do this cute thing where you'd be like 'but you're my speedy coward''. Anyway, I'm going to leave now. Love ya, but in the way we always said it beforehand, not in a dramatic confession way. Sorry I delved into my childhood there. Bye." You felt him awkwardly pat your back.

There was a gust of wind that ruffled your hair, and you knew he had run away.

You lifted the note up, mind empty, still processing everything he had rambled to you, and started carefully unfolding it.

It was one of his previously mentioned "Do you like me?" notes.

You willed yourself not to straight-up giggle like a 12-year-old at his note. It was messily written, and clearly on the back of a mission briefing.

Shit, you didn't have a pen. You looked under the couch cushions but there was no form of a writing utensil in sight! The audacity.

You knew Peter well enough to know that he was probably not too far away, waiting for the result of his question and trying not to spy.

"Hey... uh... Peter? I don't have a pen."

Peter hit his forehead with his hand, where the fuck was he going to get a pen? It's not like he owned pens that were actually in a designated spot! How ridiculous would that be, who did he look like, Charles? Charles! Charles has pens in designated pen places!

So Peter ran into the headmaster's office and found a pen. He wrote a small note stating that he borrowed a pen and that he would return it. Looking at the note Peter found it did not fully encapsulate the desperate need for the pen. The note ended up something like this:

Hey Charles! It's Peter! I took borrowed a pen because a very serious situation manner situation has arised. arisen. From, Peter. You can't get mad at me because if you could legally marry my dad you would be married and I would basically be your step son! Thanks half dad!

He thought the addition of the 'step' in stepson effectively hid the fact that Charles was a father figure of his. What was he doing here again? The serious manner!

In an instant of you telling Peter that you did not have a pen, one appeared.

"Thank you!"

You checked the yes box, but had a want to write something adorable. You couldn't think of anything so you just wrote "This was weird." under your checkmark. Well played.

You entertained the idea of resuming your movie but decided against it, you thought it would be more dramatic if you left the room.

The minute you made your exit Peter sprinted into the room. He opened your note, jumped, pumped his fist in the air, realized that was nerdy, and tried to make a cool pose to recover.

Now he just had to figure out how the fuck he was going to ask you out.

[makeste]

What are your favorite hero names?

oh man there are so many. I had to limit myself to a top twenty, and even that was rough. anyway so first off, a few runner ups because I couldn’t go without mentioning these:

Vlad King - to be clear, this isn’t actually one of my top hero names. but I’m mentioning it here because back when I was first reading the series, one of the fan scanlations -- either Fallen Angels or Mangastream, I forget which -- had originally translated his hero name as Brad King. which, to be frank, would have been one of the greatest hero names of ALL TIME. you can’t imagine my disappointment when I finally learned the truth. it still haunts me to this day.

Jack Mantis - this is Kamakiri (a.k.a. the guy from class 1-B who can grow knives out of his body)’s hero name. my question is, why the Jack. the mantis part, I get! that’s fairly obvious! but the “Jack” is forever a mystery to me. it just adds this little layer of intrigue.

Mr. Brave - this guy is one of the few good things to come from the Basement arc. don’t get me wrong, he is completely useless. but his name? absolutely legendary. this guy, with his power of ripping his own hair out and turning it into a sword (yes that’s his quirk), an ability that could be easily duplicated or bested by literally any jackass who just went out and bought their own damn sword, really thought to himself, “I am going to be the BEST MCFUCKING HERO THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN. I AM GOING TO NAME MYSELF... MISTER BRAVE.” and they let him, you guys. they let him.

anyway so now for the top twenty!

20. Can’t Stop Twinkling - this isn’t a name so much as it is poetry in three words. I still cannot believe that Aoyama went up to Midnight with a hero name that sounds more like the world’s greatest Dear Abby letter, and she actually let him keep it. I’m not 100% clear on how this all works, but I like to think this means that Aoyama’s fellow heroes have an actual legal obligation to call him this in battle. I don’t think we as a fandom and as a people really take enough time out of our lives to stop and be grateful for Aoyama’s existence.

19. Uravity - it’s a pun!! it’s so cute and I love it!! and it’s such a perfect name in that it just instantly sums up and defines her whole brand, bringing to mind both Ochako the person and Zero Gravity the quirk. honestly she is one of only a few kids whose hero name I never space out on. with a lot of the others I usually have to pause for a sec and be like “wait, what was their name again?” but never Ochako.

18. Present Mic - this would make a really great band name honestly. I just like it. I’m pretty sure Horikoshi was going for “present” as in the verb meaning “to perform”, like in “presentation”, but to tell the truth I always pronounce it like “present” as in “gift” or “the present time”, which doesn’t make any sense at all, but IT’S JUST WHAT MY BRAIN DECIDED TO DO. anyway.

17. Tsukuyomi - I know this name has its origins in Japanese mythology, but to be completely honest I’ve always just associated it with Itachi’s infamous genjutsu attack from Naruto. I just think it’s the gothest thing ever and absolutely perfect for Tokoyami lol.

16. All Might - there’s just something about this name that kind of makes me just want to pump my fists and go “YEAH!!” I really like the use of “might” as a noun rather than “mighty” as an adjective like you see in so many classic superhero names. it’s just so much cooler somehow. this name really does conjure up the image of the strongest guy in the universe.

15. Midnight - honestly I’m almost mad that this wound up being a hero name, because it would have made a perfect villain name. it’s dark and mysterious and sexy. it’s no wonder why Midnight chose it lol. anyway so my girl is a bit kinky, nothing wrong with that, and it’s also a perfect name for someone whose quirk puts other people to sleep. it’s just such spot-on branding, I love it.

14. Ingenium - fun fact, I had no idea what this meant when I first came across it because I don’t speak Latin! apparently it means “genius” or “talent.” which is a very good meaning for a hero name! but honestly the real reason I love it so much is because it’s Iida’s tribute to his brother, and I am just such a sucker for that kind of shit. damn you Iida siblings. quit giving me all these feels.

13. Shouto – yes, seriously. I know a lot of people hate this name, and it’s always getting flak for being bland and uncreative. but I honestly think it’s a perfect name for Shouto. firstly because Shouto himself is very much the opposite of flashy in a lot of ways. he’s not particularly animated or attention-seeking; he is a very calm, sort of still-waters-run-deep person, and I think the lack of a snappy brand name fits that personality. I’m even more delighted that it hasn’t remotely curbed his popularity at all (at this point I think the only kid hero with more in-universe fans out there is Momo, and even then it’s probably a close thing), and I think a big part of that is that people are drawn to his unpretentious nature, especially in comparison to a lot of the other heroes out there. but most of all, I like the name because of the simple yet powerful way it serves as a declaration that he is his own person. he’s not his father, and he’s more than just a Todoroki. he is himself; he is Shouto. anyway so yeah, to me this is a fantastic name with so much depth and meaning.

12. Battle Fist - this is Kendou’s hero name AND IT’S PERFECT. like, holy shit. what should we call the girl who goes around punching bad guys around all day with her giant hands. how about BATTLE FIST. there really isn’t much more to say about this one, honestly. its greatness speaks for itself.

11. Vantablack - imagine being such an enormous douchebag that word of your douchey exploits made it all the way over to some guy in Japan who spends 95% of his waking hours writing a manga and has almost no free time. fun fact, although Anish Kapoor is the only one licensed to use the color Vantablack, the name Vantablack is still owned by Surrey NanoSystems (a.k.a. the guys who actually invented it), and so I’m pretty sure they’re the ones who decide whether or not someone else gets to use it. I wonder if Kapoor is pissed about his color being referenced in a popular shounen manga. anyways, all of that speculation aside, it really is the perfect name for someone with Kuroiro’s quirk.

10. Endeavor - look, say what you will about Endeavor the person (although I’m personally a big fan of the way his redemption arc is being done and think he’s a fascinating character, albeit a very flawed one), but there’s no denying that Endeavor is a badass name. but what’s really great about it is how it so perfectly captures the admirable part of Endeavor, the one thing about him that’s actually worth praising. he never gives up. he’s always pushing, striving, struggling forward no matter how hopeless it seems. and that’s a worthy trait, and it says something about him that this is what he chose for his hero name. a name that has nothing to do with fire, nothing to do with his quirk, nothing even to do with his goal of becoming #1. it’s simply a name that means to make an effort; to try and achieve something. and I like that.

9. Sugarman - this IMO is easily the most overlooked and severely underrated hero name in the series. it’s a hidden gem. everyone always forgets about Satou just because his power of being a Strong Punching Guy doesn’t particularly stand out in a manga chock full of strong punching guys. but he is a badass and a great character, and honestly “eating candy makes me super strong” is possibly the single greatest quirk in the history of time and I am jealous. anyway, so this is a really straightforward name, but it’s really smooth and catchy somehow and so it’s one of my favorites.

8. Gale Force - this is Inasa’s hero name! it’s another one which is criminally underrated, much like Inasa himself. airbender powers are just so badass you guys. wind is so badass. this name is all hurricaney and tempesty and super cool and powerful-sounding. this is one of those names that I’m honestly surprised wasn’t already a mainstream superhero name. Marvel was all “nah, we’ll just go with ‘Storm’”, like come on you guys where is the creativity.

7. Red Riot - this name is a fucking grand slam. it’s alliterative! it’s catchy! it’s got the word “riot” in it! it’s an absolutely perfect name for a passionate guy whose quirk lends itself towards good old fashioned brawlin’ and head bashing. the fact that it’s got additional meaning as a tribute towards Kiri’s own personal hero is just the icing on the cake. this is another name that Marvel probably legit wishes they had thought of first. it’s easily the best hero name out of everyone in class 1-A imo.

6. Sir Nighteye - hilariously for the longest time it was not confirmed whether or not Nighteye actually had a real name (he does! but I’ve forgotten it lol), and so there was this lingering question, absurd as it was, of whether or not Nighteye’s parents, whoever they are, were descendants of some proud Nighteye clan, and whether they had really, actually named their child “Sir.” anyways though, I love this name. it’s super cool and mysterious and perfect for someone with future-seeing powers, and the “Sir” just makes even awesomer because it implies that the Queen really liked him or something.

5. Mt. Lady - this name is a stroke of genius. supersize-me powers are a dime a dozen, but the characters always have names like Giant Man or Giganta or Goliath. as far as I know, no other superhero characters have ever thought to name themselves after mountains, let alone to name themselves as if they WERE a mountain. like, she isn’t “mountain lady”; she’s “MOUNT Lady”, as if she were an actual tectonic peak. it really bothers me that I can’t adequately describe in words why I love this so much. I just do!! I think she should get an award.

4. Suneater - Tamaki is out here proving to everyone that your hero name doesn’t need to have jack shit fuckall to do with your actual quirk in order to be completely badass and iconic. sometimes I wonder what Tamaki does when people ask him “out of curiosity, why did you pick that name?”, which someone surely must have done at some point. he probably turns beet red and tries to dissolve into the background. but anyway, the general public does not need to know the meaning of his hero name in order for it to have meaning; we know what the meaning is, and that it’s his way of saying “I believe in myself because my friend believes in me”, and honestly that’s all that matters. I am still of the opinion that certain other people whose childhood friends held a lot of unwavering belief in and admiration towards them could do worse than going down this same hero name route, but we will see! anyways Suneater deserves all your respect.

3. Best Jeanist - I had so much love for this name from the start, and then I found out it was a real, actual award. for people who make good jeans, or are good at wearing jeans, or something. it’s run by the Japan Jeans Council, which is also a real and actual thing. but anyway, despite it not being as wholly original of a name as I thought, it’s still iconic, and I love that he went with something that was recognizable while still fitting his quirk, and which has the added implication that he is the motherfucking best, because he is. also, given that he probably chose this name while he was still in school, and that only public figures generally seem to be eligible for the award, this implies that he chose the name Best Jeanist first, and then went on to win the actual award eight years running. presumably because the JJC got very flustered and were all, “IT’S LITERALLY HIS NAME... WE HAVE TO GIVE IT TO HIM... WE HAVE TO”, and so they did. anyway so that was a goddamn power move on his part.

2. Gang Orca - first of all, if you are an orca man, then naming yourself after orcas is a pretty apt thing to do and I have to respect that. but then along comes the “gang” part, out of absolutely NOWHERE, and it absolutely SMASHES. like, this name comes up to you and it slaps you in the face. GANG ORCA. HE’S A BIG AGGRESSIVE DOLPHIN MAN AND HE’S NOT HERE TO FUCK AROUND. IS HE ACTUALLY IN A GANG?? WE DON’T KNOW. BUT HERE HE IS, READY TO YEET YOUR DELINQUENTS AND HUNT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING SEALS. this name fucks so hard it came within inches of the number one spot. he is a ruffian and a champ.

1. Eraserhead - last but not least, the guy who DIDN’T EVEN PICK HIS OWN NAME. his best friend had to do it for him, and out of love, came up with the SINGLE BEST HERO ALIAS IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND. first of all, this name sounds like a very funky and electronicy Thom Yorke song. second, it conjures up the image of a man with a big no. 2 pencil head, which could not possibly be further from the truth. it’s just so whiplashy in the best way possible. third, the very existence of this name is seriously a goddamn miracle. he could have been “Power-Stopping Man.” or “Sleeping Bag Man.” or “Scruffy Hero: Tired Man.” or just “Shouta”, but unlike Shouto there wouldn’t have been any actual meaning to it; it would have simply been a case of him not giving the slightest of fucks about coming up with a real name. but rather than any of these, thanks to the power of friendship we were blessed with the greatest hero name in recorded memory. this is one of the few kindnesses fate has ever bestowed upon Aizawa Shouta in his tragic, exhausting life, and I for one am eternally grateful.

anyway so that’s my list! sorry if I left out anyone’s favorites! but I think all of these are deserving of love. also if you want to see the single best thing Japan has ever come up with, please go visit best-jeans.com. they even have an instagram lulz.

[jungshookz]

falling in crayolove;  (kindergartenteacher!taehyung)

✎ pairing: kim taehyung x reader

✎ genre: kindergartenteacher!au, workingman!au, F L U F F, tiny bit of angst at the start :-( but this is literally 98% fluff; y/n and taehyung are like two little kids with little crushes on each other

✎ trigger warning(s): implications of getting an abortion!!  

✎ wordcount: 10.5k

✎ summary: y/n is a very single mom and taehyung is a very single kindergarten teacher. emma knows exactly what she needs to do.  

✎ note: okay LOOK before you get into reading, this isn’t technically a full fic! this is what happens when you cross a full fic and a baby drabble = this is a BABY FIC which explains why the word count is much smaller compared to the usual! (ps i will probably?? be writing more baby fics for characters such as garbageman!tae or.,,. oTher characters that i can’t think of right now lmao) i was originally going to leave kindergarten!tae as it was and i was just going to continue to write baby drabbles for him but i felt like he deserved a fic?? buT then i was conflicted because his original drabble literally already tells us the full story and i was like ok.,. what else is there to say.,,. sweats,,.. anyways this is what i ended up with! in case you were wondering, yES the original drabble is included in this fic since it’s a crucial part of the story and it would have been a waste to not use it but if you don’t want to read that you’re welcome to just skiP on over to the end lol. also emma is four years old and tae is a pre-kindergarten teacher because i changed my MIND - enjoy!!

pst if u wanna talk to y/n or emma or tae u know what to do ;-)

(gif isn’t mine!)

(((and the read more function iS there but most of the time it doesn’t work on mobile :// i am sorry don’t attack me by sending passive-aggressive anon messages)))

ah, yes.  

to be young and i-

“i’m pregnant?!”

the reason why you came to the doctors today was because you thought you had some sort of stomach flu

at first it wasn’t a big deal

but then it started getting worse and you literally thought you had a parasite from eating at that dingy sushi place and you were mad at jin for like a week because it was hIs idea to go there and it’s not fair that hE didn’t get an upset tummy >:-(

jin reminded you that he warNed you about the sea urchin and you responded by smacking the back of his head

you have to admit

it is relieving to know that there isn’t a dangerous parasite living inside of you and feasting on your organs

it’s a,.,. ???

how would one describe a baby as a parasite

a perfectly natural parasite living inside of you!

well

it certainly explains things

the sudden onslaught of violent puking in the morning

you thought it was because your yogurt was starting to get a little funky but apparently it’s because there’s a baby growing inside of you!!!11!!!!

also you should probably start learning how to be more aware of the things that you’re putting inside of your body

also

this should have been a big hint: your period didn’T come this month and your red rain has never EVER been late

“but… i don’t understand.” you let out a breath and lean back against the reclining chair while staring up at the ceiling fan

the lightbulb flickers

“i- we use condoms and- we practice safe sex!!!” you exasperate and sit back up to look at dr. kim “we’re very vERy safe!!!”

“condoms are only effective 98% of the time.”

“yeAH that’s a preTTY BIG percentage” your knuckles grow white as you clench tightly around the arms of the seat in frustration

98%!!!!!!!

that means there was a 2% chance that the condom didn’t work and obviously you are part of that 2%!!!!!

“do you take birth control pills?”

“um, is the sky blue?? yes!!!!” you reply as if it’s the most obvious answer in the entire world

“the sky’s grey today.” dr. kim raises a brow at you before pointing behind you out the window “do you take them consistently?”

“ye-“ you press your lips together “…s…?”

sometimes you.,.., skip a day or two

you’re busy!!!!! you don’t always have the time to remember to pop a tiny pill into ur mouth

you didn’t think it’d be such a big deal

and you certainly didn’t think it’d result in u.., actually getting pregnant

“how many weeks…?” you trail off uneasily and pick at some lint on your sweater

you don’t feel so good now

it’s honestly probably because this baby is about to make you puke again but

oh god

you’re pregnant

you’re barely legal and you’re pregnant

you still see yourself as a kid!!!

you’re a kid who’s going to be raising a kid!!!!!!

kids should NOT be raising kids!!!!!!

“you are about… six weeks pregnant.” dr. kim flips through a chart before looking up at you with a small smile “currently, your baby is about the size of a sweet pea…”

in case it’s not clear

it takes two to tango

in this case

your tango partner is none other than son hyun-woo

otherwise known as

shownu

you’re going over to his apartment for dinner tonight and as much as you doN’t want to tell him you’re pregnant, he’s probably going to become suspicious when your stomach starts growing bigger and rounder as the months go by

you’ve been with shownu since grade eleven

it’s been a great four years!!!

shownu is very sweet and kind and caring and handsome and every other positive adjective that’s ever been recorded in the dictionary

you even chose to go to the same university as him just so you guys could stay together

he’s the captain of the soccer team which is a fact that you like to share with literally everYone because..,,. why wouLDn’t you brag about your soccer captain boyfriend

he’s… he’s the love of your life and that’s one thing you know for sure

you see yourself getting married to him and having kids with him and growing old with him

,..,you’re just not sure if he’d be down to do all of that stuff starting noW

you wipe your sweaty palms down on your leggings as shownu sets the plate of fried rice in front of you “i know you don’t like spicy things, but i threw in a liTTLE tiny baby bit of kimchi in here” he hums and takes a seat across from you “it should be fine though… if not, i made a backup plate of plain fried rice for you!”

you have half a mind to start off the announcement with ‘ah, yes, speaking of baBiES-‘ but perhaps that’s not the best approach to this delicate situation

frick

maybe you should tell him later

but.,,. it’s better to tell him soOner than later

you just don’t know what’s going to happen and you hate it when you’re unable to predict things  

how is he going to take it??

he’s usually a very supportive boyfriend but this is a completely nEW kind of supportive

“by the way, thanks for helping me out with my sociology presentation. it went pretty well except for when the prof started asking questions related directly to my slides but luckiLy i was able to bullshit and finesse my way out of-“

“i’m pregnant.” you blurt out

shownu immediately chokes and his fork falls onto his plate with a loud clatter

“you’re-“ he pats his chest a couple times and takes a biG swig of water

he clears his throat

“you’re- i’m sorry, you’re what?”

“i… am… preg…nant.” you mutter sheepishly “pregnant.”

shownu stares at you with wide eyes and for a second you think you’ve broken your boyfriend

and then he snaps out of it

“dude, we’re 19 years old, i don’t wanna be a dad-!“

ok first of all did he just call you dude

and second of all

“and you think i wanna be a mom? we’re both part of this and we need to take full responsibility for our actions. w-we should have been more careful but-“

“i was the careful one! you were the one who was supposed to be on top of your stuPId pills and you couldn’t even remember to take them everyday and now look where we are!”  

“look, it’s not the end of the world-“ your fingers tighten around the napkin on your lap

“god, y/n, how dumb are you?! this is going to ruin my life! you knoW how hard i’ve worked to get this soccer scholarship and all of that is about to be completely fucking derailed because of this dumb fucking baBy and- i’m not- no!” shownu snaps and slams a fist against the table

water sloshes out of both your guys’ cups from the vibrations

the dishes rattle slightly and you immediately divert your gaze to your lap

“i don’t want this baby!” he exasperates and throws his head back before placing his hands over his face “god, my parents… what the hell are they going to think??”

he looks over at you and shakes his head “you planned this, didn’t you?”

“wh- what??” your brows knit together and you let out a scoff “what the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“you planned this so that i’d have no choice but to stay with you because you’re carrying my child”

“shownu- obviously i didn’t fucking plan to get pregnant, it was an acCIdent and-“

“if you keep this baby, i will leave you.” shownu growls “get rid of it.”

at first you were upset

but now you’re just angry

how dare he speak to you like this?

“what did you just say to me?” you scoff and cross your arms

“i don’t want this baby. we cannot keep this baby. we will not be raising this baby. understand?”

jesus

“fine.” you murmur quietly “we won’t keep this baby.”

you swallow the lump in your throat and blink away your tears before letting out a shaky breath

“good.” shownu visibly relaxes and clears his throat before picking up his fork

he shovels a big bite of rice into his mouth “after dinner, we’ll make an appointment to go to the abortion clinic tomorrow afternoon. i think it’ll be fine if i skip the first half of training but hopefully we’ll be back before-“

the chair screeches against the floor as you get up and shownu immediately gets up as well “hey, where are you going?”

“you’re right, shownu. we won’t be keeping this baby - i’ll be keeping this baby. and i will raise my baby on my own.” you snap and reach down to grab your bag before storming to the front door  

shownu doesn’t stop you  

and you don’t look back.

the rest of the night goes by in a blur

it’s pretty fitting that it’s raining like crazy outside

you drop your backpack and keys on the floor once you get back to your apartment

you peel your sopping wet jacket off and toss it on the couch before kicking your shoes off

honestly

it feels like time’s stood still

it’s just white noise in your brain and you can’t seem to focus on anything

you flick the bedside lamp on and a cast of warm yellow washes over your room

you sit cross-legged on the floor at the side of your bed and let out a breath

the atmosphere is completely silent except for the sound of rain gently drumming against the window

a flash of lightning briefly lights up the sky

in the distance, you hear the slight rumble of thunder

you dial your mom’s number with shaky fingers and click the speaker button before setting it down on the mattress

brrrrrinnng

brrrrrinnng

brrrrri-

your mom picks up on the third ring which was wAY sooner than you thought she’d pick up

“hey, look who finally called!”

you open your mouth to speak when suddenly you feel an overwhelming wave of anxiety and fear rush over you  

you should have planned something before calling her

what’s the right way for a teenage daughter to tell her mother that she’s pregnant?

is she going to be disappointed with you?

is she going to be angry with you? tell you that you’re irresponsible and that she saw this coming from miles away?

is she going to tell you that this is something you’ll have to deal with yourself?

your parents worked so hard to get you here and they work hard to this day to continue paying for your tuition fees

and you’re about to tell them that hey, i’m pregnant

you haven’t even said anything and you’re already losing your composure

your nails dig into the flesh of your palm as you ball your hands into fists

“-i was wondering when i’d hear from you. your dad isn’t back from work yet but i’ll make sure to tell him that you called. i’m just making dinner now, i’m trying out this new pasta dish that-“

“mom?” your voice cracks and you clamp your lips together and shake your head

your bottom lip trembles and your vision starts to blur with tears almost instantly

oh god

you can’t do this

you feel your face burning up as you try your hardest to hold it back

a beat of silence goes by and you hear some shuffling on the other end of the phone

the first tear rolls down your cheek

“…honey, what’s wrong?”

and that’s all it takes

the rest of the tears follow in an unbroken stream

you immediately let out a pained sob before leaning forward and pressing your hands against the cold floor beneath you

you begin to cry with such force that your chest starts to hurt and your heart starts to clench and you feel like you could pass out at any moment

your mom can barely make out what you’re saying through your blubbering but she manages to pick out ‘pregnant’ and that’s all she needs to know

she waits for you to sob your heart out before deciding to speak up

she asks if you have the resources to raise a child

no, you don’t

she asks if you even want to have this child

yes, you do

she asks you if shownu wants to have this child

no, he doesn’t, but that doesn’t matter to you

she tells you how much she loves you and absolutely nothing is going to change that fact

after all, you’re her baby no matter what

you find comfort in knowing that you have some form of a support system and you’re not completely on your own

you turn and twist in the mirror as you keep your eyes glued on your bare stomach

you were about to take a quick shower but once you stripped off all your clothes you were suddenly moRe aware of your tummy

you don’t look pregnant

you don’t even feel pregnant

it’s just,.,. odd

knowing that there’s a living human growing inside of you

“it’s just you and me against the world, sweet pea.” you smooth a hand over your bare stomach and give it a gentle pat

just you and sweet pea

nine months seem to go by in a blur

shownu never reaches out to you and you never reach out to him

as far as you’re concerned you don’t want anything to do with him

as far as you’re concerned this is your baby and your baby alone

your ankles become swollen and your breasts become sore and weighty

your skin gets blotchy at some point and there’s not enough concealer in the world to hide the angry pimples dotted all over your face

ur mom says u were supposed to be glowing during pregnancy..,,. the only kind of glowing ur doing is from the gREASE  

you find yourself casually throwing anchovies into your vanilla ice cream and topping it off with balsamic vinegar  

you had to start taking online classes because it was becoming too hard having to transport to campus every day

every time you see a dog on the street you burst into tears because hOUHG my GOD it’S so cuTE *snorts*

you’re in the middle of a midterm when you feel sweet pea kick for the first time and it takes everything within you to not start crying in the middle of the examination hall

jin comes over to your apartment for study sessions but most of the time it ends up with him taping his earbuds to the swell of your tummy and letting sweet pea listen to some classical music

he goes through this phase where he’s obsessed with healing crystals and your apartment becomes scattered with rose quartzes and jaspers because he’s doing it for the baby 

occasionally he makes you lie down so he can place small crystals in a circle around your belly button so that the healing energy will be absorbed into your body and into the baby 

 you’re thankful that you have a friend like him even though he’s literally a lunatic 

your mom comes into town once a month and stays for about a week just to take care of you and make sure that both you and the baby are happy and healthy

as time goes on, your little sweet pea grows into a fuLL on watermelon

and eventually-

“jesus chRIST-“ your chest heaves with exhaustion as you lie back against the hospital bed

oh my god

that was the woRST eight hours of your life

your lower body is completely numb and you don’t even want to think about how buSted your vagina looks right now

you put her through a loT today!!!!

“here she is, mama!��� the nurse gently places your screAMing bundle of joy in your arms and suddenly all the blood sweat and tears is completely worth it

oh

oh

“hi, sweet pea…” you laugh lightly as her tiny, mucousy hand wraps around your finger

she’s so beautiful

“i’m your mommy…” your eyes are glistening with tears of joy (aND pain) and you lean in to press a tiny kiss to the top of her head “just u nd me against the world”    

well

that was four years ago

it’s pretty strange how quickly time can go by

four years ago you were nineteen years old

four years ago you were in a committed, loving relationship with someone you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with

four years ago you were in your second year of university; first year was a hellish nightmare and you were just starting to figure things out

four years ago you found out you were pregnant and your world was turned upside down

and now you’re twenty-three years old

a lot has changed in the past four years

you are no longer in a committed, loving relationship with someone you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with; in fact, you haven’t been in another relationship since shownu,., you haven’t even been on any dates

you are in your fifth year of university because you couldn’t graduate last year due to the fact that you were missing some credits; luckily you have moSt of university life figured out at this point even though you occasionally stiLL get lost on campus sometimes

you found a pretty stable job at a drug store a couple blocks away from the apartment

it’s not much but it pays the bills (your parents will occasionally chip in and help out if u need it) ((you’re very grateful to have the parents that you have))

jin is still a big fat doofus (he’s not aS obsessed with crystals but u keep them in the apartment because they’re pretty)

emma’s in pre-k now!!!! it seems like it was only yesterday that she started walking and talking

and now she won’t stop walking,.,. or talking

no tea no shade

emma is the absolute light of your life!!

and you would straight up SLAUGHTER anyone who would try to hurt her

:~)  

she’s your little ball of sunshine who smothers you with kisses every morning to wake you up and writes ‘i lov3 mommy’ on literally any surface she can find (you’re flattered but u need to have a word with her about using lipstick to write on the walls) and always wants to help you make breakfast and dinner or fold the laundry or sweep the floors

emma is a peculiar little girl and you are so, so proud to be able to call yourself her mother

she’s compassionate and kindhearted and thoughtful and polite

she never forgets to say please and thank you

she likes to wait for you to get to the dinner table as well before digging into her spaghetti (she can’t pronounce spaghetti yet so she jumbles it together and it becomes spapeggi)

she likes watching nature documentaries (docummeneries) with you and would genuinely choose to watch that over the powerpuff girls or even spongebob and you were like ???? because yOU low-key want to watch spongebob and u don’t want to have to confess to your four year old daughter that you want to watch cartoons instead of a documentary

on mother’s day she woke you up with kisses and breakfast in bed!! she made you a peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich and you have to admit that it was *mwah* very scrumptious

emma is very curious as to who her dad is or if she even hAs a dad 

she thought jin was her dad and jin was only slightly offended at how hard you laughed at that when she brought it up

because all the kids at school seem to have dads and she only has a mom

which isn’t a problem at all it’s just,.,. she wants to know

like her friend hwayoung has a dad!!!

and his name is hwayoung’s dad

that’s all she knows about him

one time all the kids in class were talking about their dads and emma didn’t have anything to say but lucKily she was able to steer the attention away from herself

(“my dad’s a dentist” “mine is a doctor!” “mine is a cee-hee-ho! emma, what does your dad-“ “cee-hee-ho of what?” “…i dunno” “yeah, cee-hee-ho of what?!”)

talking to emma about shownu is a tricky situation

“your dad is a very, very busy... soccer player...?”

you don’t actually know what shownu’s been up to besides the fact that he’s on the national soccer team which is gReat for him but every time you think about that stupid boy you can’t help but revisit the night when he basically told you that you would ruin his entire life if you kept the child-

“how come he never visits?” emma furrows her brows as she tries to twirl spaghetti around her fork

the noodles are too slippery and emma yelps in surprise when some sauce splatters onto her face

“he… the important thing here is that you have mommy, okay?” you smile and reach over to wipe the tomato chunk off her chubby cheek “don’t worry about your dad.”

emma doesn’t know a lot

but she knows enough to not bring it up again

anyways

even though you’re a mother now

that doesn’t necessarily mean that you automatically have your shit together becAUSe-

“shit shit shit shIt shit” you curse to yourself as you vEEr right into the first parking spot you see

you immediately crank the brake and unbuckle your seatbelt

“i was going to park there, asshole!” you hop out of the car to see an angry looking mother glaring at you from her minivan and you give her a sheepish smile

“i’m sorry!!!! my kid just got off from class and i can’t be late because i need to drive her to ballet and-“ you’re definitely oversharing with this stranger and she obviously doesn’t care because she rolls her eyes and flips you off before zoOming off to find another parking spot

soccer moms are so aggressive

you double check that you have everything with you and you fish your parent lanyard out of your backpack and sling it around your neck quickly as you approach the front doors

you thought that once you became a mother you would instantly become more responsible more organised more matuRe

obviously you were mistAken because you’re still late to almost everything you go to

some things never change!!!!

you hurry your way down the hallway and pick up the pace when you see the swarm of parents standing outside the classroom

as you approach the crowd you get up on your tip-toes to see if emma’s been excused yet

you accidentally bump into a couple and a bit of your coffee splashes onto their shoulders and they turn around and give you a dirty look

“oh, sorry!!!! ….fridays, am i right?” you joke and they both scowl before shuffling to stand somewhere else

oof

tough crowd

none of the parents here like u that much

which is a real shame because you think you make greAt company

you’re just,.,, there’s a big age gap between u and most of the parents here

you’re one of the younger parents in the class

actually you might be the youngest

min yoongi and his wife (you forgot her name whoOps) are pretty young but they’re still a couple years older than you

and side note their daughter is adoraBle

emma is actually friends with hwayoung so you talk to yoongi sometimes

it’s nice to talk to someone who’s around your age

he’s just veRy businessman-y so it’s difficult to joke around with him

but he’s still a nice guy!!

speaking of yoongi and hwayoung

a bright smile makes its way onto your face when you see yoongi nudging hwayoung through the crowd of people before grabbing onto her small hand

“yoongi!” yoongi looks up and he smiles politely

he’s still dressed all spic and span in his suit from work

“ah! good afternoon, y/n. hwayoung, say good afternoon to emma’s mom.” he hums before bending down to zip up her backpack that’s just wiDe open

relatable

“good afternoon, emma’s mom!!” she looks up at you with bright eyes

she’s sO CuTE

“hi, hwayoung-ie!” you bend down and pinch her cheek before reaching into the pocket of your coat and fishing out a little caramel “don’t tell your dad,” you joke and yoongi snorts in response

“thank u!!!!!” she snaTches it immediately and you coo before pinching her cheek again

you get back up onto your feet “you guys on your way home now?”

“mhm. is emma still available for a playdate this sunday?” yoongi swoops hwayoung off her feet and props her up onto his hip and she immediately rests her head against his shoulder

“affirmative, sir.” you salute and yoongi rolls his eyes playfully “i-“

“emma y/l/n?” you perk up when you hear emma’s name being called

“yeah, we’ll see you sunday! have a nice night!” you turn to squeeze your way into the crowd and once you make your way to the front your heart immediately starts going boom-boom because

it’s taehyung

emma’s teacher

kim taehyung is uh

whOo

putting it simply he is a very attractive man and he’s only a couple months older than you so like you’re preTTY sure this is god’s way of telling you it’s meant to be

the only time you’ve really talk to him is during the parent-teacher conference and even theN you can barely get a word in because emma’s a little chatterbox (one time she almost let it slip that ‘mommy dressed extra pretty for you!’ and you were literally about to pounce on your child in the middle of a classroom)

he’s really sweet n nice and when he smiles that boxY grin you can’t help but smile aNd he’s endearingly dorky and super charming aND funny and he’s so good with the kids and OH my god his voice is like..,., silky smooth dark chocolate.,,.,. rich caramel.,, that u want to driZZLE all over your BODY

okay no R-rated thoughts when there are children present

don’t be weird

since he’s your kid’s teacher you’re not sure if that’s even allowed

the whole parents dating teachers thing

anyways

he looks so soft today

he’s wearing a crisp button up with a pair of jeans

he obviously let the kids mess with his hair because he has a little sproUT in his hair

and you’re pretty sure you have a glasses kink because you’ve never felt this way when seeing someone with their glasses sitting on the top of their head

“hi, yeah, that’s me- i mean, that’s not me, but that’s my child- you know what i mean” you blow a strand of hair away from your face before adjusting your backpack with a sheepish grin

woW what the hell was that lol  

taehyung presses his lips together to keep himself from bursting into chuckles

you’re so awkward sometimes but he supposes that’s just part of your charm

he wants to tell you you look real cute in your periwinkle sweater

and it’s endearing how the laces on your converse shoes are undone

no doubt from your frantic running down the hallway (he notices everything)

but of course he has to keep it professional because you are the parent of one of his students it doesn’t matTer that you’re the same age as him and that he’s very very very veRY attracted to you

“hi miss y/l/n.” taehyung smiles kindly before ticking next to your name on the clipboard “emma’ll be ready in a minute! we did finger-painting today so the kids are taking a little longer to wash up. how was your day?” he suddenly remembers the little ponYTAIL in his hair and he yanks the hair tie off quickly

“oh, y’know, the usual. it’s not super exciting having to keep studying after four whole years of studying.” you snort before pulling your own hair tie from your ponytail and letting your hair down

“i admire that! education is important.” taehyung hums

your hair looks so soft

it probably smells good too

o god he’s being creepy stop being creepy

“i suppose you’re right. what else happened…uh… had a really good caramel macchiato and a mediocre turkey sandwich for lunch-“  

“mommy!” you snap out of your little trance when emma suddenly ziPs out of the classroom

her little backpack bounces against her back

“hi baby!” you grin and swoOp down to scoop her up into your arms

you smoosh kisses against her chubby cheek while she giggles away before you plop her back down onto the ground

it takes everything within taehyung not to mELT into the ground because even tho he sees you do that basically every day it never fails to turn him into a pile of mush IT’S SO CUTE

“we finger-painted today!” she cheers and holds her paper up for you to look at

“yeah, mr kim was just telling me-“

“that’s me, n that’s you, n that’s mr. kim!” she grins and points to the third figure in the painting and almost immediately bOTH yours and tae’s faces go bright red

you think you might actually be on fire right now (even tho this isn’t the first time this has hAPPENeD) ((ur referring to the time the class made play-doh people and emma made one of you and one of tae and the play-doh versions of you two are holding hands))

“oh! that’s, heh, uh, that’s nice! that’s so good, you did a good job, baby” you clear your throat and your eyes flicker over to taehyung

he tilts his head and offers you a meek smile

“will you put it up on the fridge when we go home?” she asks as you tuck it into her backpack for her before ziPping her bag up

“mhm…” you get back up onto your feet and dust your knees off “say g’bye to mr. kim”

“bye mr. kim!” emma turns around and hugs his legs

her face is like on the same level as his knees so he’s basically kneeing her and are u an awful mother if you kinda laughed at that

“goodbye, sweetheart!” he replies with the same level of enthusiasm as he gets down onto his knees so that he can give her a proper hug and she gives him a sweet lil kiss on the cheek “have a nice weekend, hm?” his eyes flicker up to you and you feel your heart skip a beat

emma pulls away from him and skips over to you “oh, and don’t forget to tie your laces, emma.” taehyung hums as he gets back up onto his feet

you look down because you remember putting emma in slip-on converse this morning not-

“he means you, mama.” emma not-so-subtly whispers and you look down at your undone laces before looking back up at taehyung who’s looking very amused at the moment

there it is again

that fuzzy feeling in your stuPid heart

u know what

you have to get over it because it’s never going to happen

you’re an adult

you can get over it fine you’ll be finE

this is just a silly little crush

“how do you feel about spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner?” you clutch emma’s little hand in yours as you guys make your way down the empty hallway

look

spaghetti is the only thing you’re actually reaLLy good at making okAY

obviously you feed your child other things,,,.., she likes kimchi fried rice with chunks of spam,,.,. a refreshing greek salad,,.. peanut butter (beanut putter) and jelly sandwiches,.,., sometimes a little fruit salad,,.,.

“yummy! with extra cheese?”

“it wouldn’t be as yummy without the extra cheese… but we obviously have to go to our usual place to get a hot chocolate first…” you’re rambling on and on about hot chocolate but emma isn’t really paying attention

because she has concocted a sneaky plan in that tiny brain of hers

she knows you like mr. kim

and she’s positive mr. kim likes you back

you always get so red around him

and he always gets so red around you

and red is the colour of love

which means that you must love mr. kim and mr. kim must love you

and she’s been trying her hardest to try and get you guys to hold hands or touch butts or whatever it is grown-ups do to prove they love each other

but each time she does something she’s never successful!!!

she tried to tell mr. kim about you dressing extra pretty for him but you smacked a hand over her mouth before she could get it out

she made a play-doh mommy and a play-doh mr. kim and presented them proudly to you and mr. kim and the both of you just laUGHED in hER FACE

do you people think she’s just a SIMPLE F O O L

and she has to admit the painting of you and her and mr. kim is probably one of her weaker moves but it’s better than nothing

and u know what

she just wants you to be happy

because she loves you a lot

and you’re a good mommy

and good mommies deserve to be happy

and from what she knows

mommies need daddies (sometimes mommies can be with other mommies!!!)

but yOU, specifically

you need a daddy

and mr. kim is the perfect fit!!! she likes mr. kim a lot

he’s always really nice to her and he lets her braid his hair and he gives her candies and kisses her cheeks

SO

this next part is all part of her evil plan and she’s positive that this time something will happen

all of her peers (including herself) have their own cubbies in the classroom

emma purposely left her snack box in there so that you’d have a reason to go back

AND she left a little note in there for you and (hopefully) mr. kim to read

emma is your child after all

meaning she’s a very verY clever girl

she just has to wait for the right time.,.,.

and the right time is noW

“mommy, my snack box is still in the classroom!!” emma stops in her tracks and you nod before pointing to the direction of the classroom

“go ahead, go get it”

“but i need to pee.” she squeezes her legs together and makes a face of discomfort “you need to get the snack box, mommy”

“i-“ you look back at the closed door of the classroom “mommy can wait for you to finish peeing and then you can go-“

“no, no, you need to go get it i need to pEE” the next thing you know she’s spRInting towards the washroom and you’re left standing in the middle of the hallway with question marks floating around your head

what in the hickory ham is going on

“gO GET MY SNACK BOX MOMMY” you hear her voice echo from the washroom

“alRIght alright” you snort before turning and heading back to the classroom

you don’t know why you’re suddenly so nervous

you’re retrieving your daughter’s snack box from her super attractive teacher that you definitely have a crush on there’s nothing to be nervous about

hi tae! emma left the ol’ snack box up in here!

whaddup mr. kim! mind if i just pOP right in??

yo Yo yOOoo have u seen a purple box anywhere?? because it belongs to emma and i need it

o god

all of these options are terrible

you need more time to rehearse your lines-

you’re about to reach up to knock on the door when suddenly it swiNgs right open and you stumble back in surprise

“oh shit!” taehyung reaches out and grabs onto your waist before you can fall flat on your aSS and you let out a squeak

in the midst of your almost-fall you’d grabbed onto his bicep and now.,.., he has an arm…, wrapped around your waist.,., while you have one hand on his bicep and one hand curled around the nape of his neck.,,,..,.,

the two of you snap out of your respective trances when you hear a door open down the hallway and you immediately leT GO of each other

also tae was right ur hair does smell really nice

“hi. sorry about that! i was on my way to the washroom and i didn’t know you were outside…” he clears his throat and prays to god he’s not as red as a tomato right now

“no, no! it was my bad, i’m sorry.” you reach up and scratch the back of your neck “i, uh, emma said she left her snack box in here.” you breathe out

“oh, uh, come in! i’ll help you search for it. it’s probably in her cubby. she’s always leaving things in there.” taehyung falls back into his ‘mr. kim’ persona as he leads you towards the cubbies in the back “let’s see… emma… here~” he bends down and you follow suit

oh my go d he even smells good is this aLLOWed

you perk up when you spot emma’s box

“hey, you’re right! here it is-“ you reach in and grab the box but you’re surprise when you notice the piece of paper stuck to the back of it

it’s an A4 piece of paper with a little card stuck to it and a note written in crayon on it

you recognise the card

it’s the business card of that little cafe you take emma to every friday after school

the one that you’re supposed to take her to right noW

‘mommy’s faveriate drink is karomal makkiatoe and mr. kim’s faverieote drink is hot chalklate’

“huh.” both you and tae are kinda just staring at the note

the gears are click-click-clicking away in both your guys’ heads

and then it hits the both of you at the same time

oh.

oh.

taehyung isn’t typically a ballsy guy but like

he’s feeling vEry brave all of a sudden

“can i take you out sometime?” he blurts out and your eyes widen in surprise

oh

well

you certainly weren’t expecting that

the both of you get back up onto your feet and you tuck emma’s box into your backpack

your cheeks flare up and you let out a little chuckle before scratching the back of your neck “i… uh…”

“i mean, don’t feel pressured to say yes just because i’m emma’s teacher!” taehyung stammers “i just, y’know, i don’t want to overstep here but i think you’re a very beautiful woman and-“

“i would love to.” you clear your throat and take your bottom lip in between your teeth “yeah, i would love to. actually, uh- emma and i, we usually go to this cafe every friday - if you’re free right now, maybe you can come and join us?” you rub your slighTLy damp hands on the back of your jeans and taehyung immediately lightS up and nods quickly

“i would love that. yeah, just… just gimme a second to clean up real quick! i’ll meet you and emma outside?”

“great! yeah, totally. she’s just.. she’s peeing right now so i should probably go check and see that she hasn’t flushed herself down the toilet or anything” you joke as you make your way towards the door and tae splits off to head to his desk “i’ll see you outside!”

you shut the door behind you and you have to quickly press yourself against the wall and you nearly bite your bottom lip off to keep yourself from screaming

your heart is going a million miles an hour and there are butterflies just having a raVE in your stomach

as soon as you leave the room taehyung pumps a fiST into the air in victory because Y E S  HE DID IT

“did you find my box?” emma’s sitting outside the washroom as you approach her and you raise a brow before nodding

“mhm.” she gets up and grabs onto your hand before looking back at the classroom door

huh

did her plan not work

she knows she’s not supposed to say bad words but what the h*ck

she really thought her plan would work!!!!

“mr. kim’s joining us for hot chocolate today, by the way. hope you don’t mind.”  you add casually and a cheshire-cat grin takes over emma’s face

the whole time you and emma and tae are at the cafe emma can’t help but feel proud of herself

you and mr. kim are sitting very vEry close to each other in your booth chatting away while she sits opposite of you two quietly nibbling at a scone and taking small sips of her hot chocolate

S U C C E S S has never tasted so good

luckily enough emma’s ballet class was cancelled today and you secretly thank the gods above because you’re having a really nice time with taehyung and it would have been a big ol bummer to have to leave early

he’s so sweet and considerate and he’s a really good listener

and he’s sO funny and super dorky in the best way possible

“oh my gosh, don’t even get me started on nap time. i love watching the kids sleep!” he pauses and his eyes widen “i promise i wasn’t trying to make that as creepy as it came out… they’re just so cute when they sleep!!! …okay, yeah, that still sounded creepy.”

you’re having so much fun with tae you’ve barely paid any attention to emma which is totally fine to her because she wanTs you and mr. kim to talk more

it’s just

emma gets pretty sleepy after a good snack or meal

sometimes she falls asleep halfway through eating (she used to do that a lot when she was a baby) ((one time she fell face flat into a bowl of mushy peas))

and the blueberry scone paired with the hot chocolate.,., that was a good snack,,..,

“oh my gosh, look at the time-“ your eyes widen when you realise it’s literally almost seven o’clock

you turn to look at emma and immediately stifle a laugh when you realize what’s happened

she fell asleep

her mouth is agape and there are a couple crumbs dusting her bottom lip

she only finished half her scone and she’s griPPing the other half in her tiny hand

you scrunch your nose and turn back to face tae “em and i should probably head home…”

it sucks because it’s still pretty early and u really really wanna keep hanging out with tae but,,.,.

“yeah, don’t worry about it!” tae nods understandingly and dusts his hands off before sliding out of the booth “i’ll help carry her to the car.”

“thank you for treating us to the hot chocolates and scones, by the way.” you hold the door open for tae as he steps outside with emma in his arms

she has her arms wrapped around his neck and her chin propped up on his shoulder

she still has a death grip on that scone

“of course! don’t worry about it.” taehyung hums and follows you to your car parked all the way at the end of the parking lot “by the way - did emma get you to sign the parental form for the trip to the aquarium?”

“she woke me up this morning by shaking it in my face.” you laugh lightly and open the door for tae “i’ll sign it tonight so she can hand it in tomorrow. oh, the car seat’s a little tricky so you can just plop emma in it and i’ll take care of the-“

click

clack

zip

snap

taehyung buckles emma in eaSILy and you’re genuinely taken aback by how quickly he did that

usually it takes you like five minutes to attach the one on her chest

and uh,,.., you’re pretty sure watching him being able to smoothly operate a child’s car seat isn’t supposed to be hot,.,. but dat shit was kinda hot

“sorry about that. what were you saying?” taehyung pulls away and closes the car door shut gently

“uh,.., i was just talking about that aquarium field trip form.” you clear your throat and resist the urge to fan your face

“ah, right! i’ve been meaning to ask - would you maybe be interested in being a chaperone for that field trip? we already have a couple parents who have signed up, but,.., i don’t know, i thought maybe it’d be fun to,.,”

okay taehyung has no idea how to word this

he just wants u to be a chaperone as a sneaky excuse to spend more time with you lol

“emma actually tricked me into signing up to become a chaperone, so unfortunately, you will be stuck with me for like six hours straight.” you smile and punch tae’s arm lightly

“sounds like a rough time but i’m sure i’ll be able to soldier through it.” he teases and raises a perfectly arched brow

a moment of silence goes by and all that can be heard is the slight buzzing from the cafe’s neon OPEN sign along with the faint chirping of crickets

“so, miss y/l/n.” tae clears his throat “can i put you down in charge of sandwiches and juice boxes?”

“sounds good, mr. kim.” you playfully resort back to your proFesSional names and you both stand up a little straighter before bursting into giggles

you don’t know what it is

maybe it’s because tae’s the first guy in a while you actually genuinely romantically like

maybe it’s because it makes you happy knowing that emma adores him and he adores emma

maybe it’s because within a couple of hours he’s successfully wormed his way into your heart because he’s so warm and kind and caring

but you have an overwhelming urge to just-

ᵖᵉᵏ

you surprise yourself when you lean in to plant a tiny kiss on taehyung’s cheek

his eyes widen and his cheeks flush in surprise

he reaches up to adjust his square-framed glasses before letting out a small chuckle “i look forward to seeing you tomorrow morning, miss y/l/n.”

taehyung drives home that night with a megawatt smile on his face

anyone who passed by probably thought he was a maniac but he doesn’t care!!!!!!!

you kissed him on the cheek!!!!!!

he’s a maniac in love!!!!!!!!

you’re not any better

once you park the car in the driveway you let out a breath and then a little squeal and punch the horn compLetely forgetting that emma was still snoozing away in the back

emma peels one eye open to look at you and you lock gazes in the mirror

she immediately squeezes her eyes shut

you turn around and gawk at her “how long have you been awake for?”

“long enough 2 know dat u kissed mr kim on the cheek” she replies with her eyes still shut

goD

she really is a sneaky little bugger

“come on, mama - let’s go see your boyfriend!!!!” emma drags you down the hallway and you nearly stumble over your feet

“he’s not- mr kim is noT mommy’s boyfriend-“

“okay.,,.” emma pauses for a split second before her face lights up again “let’s go see your daddy!!!”

you choke

“that’s nOT ANY BETTER-“

surprisingly enough you made it a liTTle bit before eight o’clock when usually you always buSt in through the doors at like 8:05

the other parents are dropping their kids off for the day and it’s safe to say that this is the first time you’ve seen yoongi in the morning

he has a little bit of bedhead but

his tie is nice and neat as per usual

“good morning, yoongi! morning, hwayoung!!” you chirp and offer him a smile before reaching down to pat hwayoung’s head

“morning, y/n. morning, emma.” he smiles back at you before turning his head and letting out a small yawn

“good morning, hwayoung n hwayoung’s dad!!!” emma grins and bounces up and down on her feet

“morning, emma n emma’s mama.” hwayoung hums sleepily and reaches up to rub at her eyes whilst leaning against yoongi

huh

like father like daughter

“min hwayoung?”

you turn your head when you hear tae’s rich baritone voice

somehow it’s even 𝓁𝑜𝓌𝑒𝓇 in the morning

“alright, in you go. i’ll see you after school, chunky monkey.” yoongi bends down and gives hwayoung a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before she’s scurrying off to the classroom. “goodbye, y/n. i’ll see you after school as well.” he pats your arm and you laugh lightly before saying goodbye and moving aside to let him through

“emma y/l/n?”

you’re about to sWEep emma up and smoosh kisses all over her face then say goodbye but she grabs your hand and vEry aggressively drags you through the crowd of parents and her peers “emma, what are you-“

“good morning, mr. kim!” emma greets brightly and taehyung looks surprised to see you here because usually he just sees the kid in the morning and not the kid’s parent

“ah, good morning, emma! morning, miss y/l/n.” he smiles shyly before ticking next to emma’s name

“good morning, mr. kim…” you trail off and reach up to scratch the back of your neck

it’s probably because u don’t have any coffee in your system yet but you can’t think of anything else to say

and for a second taehyung forgets that he’s literally in the middle of his job and he has like ten other kids to take care of

“mama, don’t you have something for mr. kim?” emma tugs on your hand and you look down at her before furrowing your brows and shaking your head

“no, i do-“

“yes, you do!” she moves behind you and unZips the front pocket of your backpack and you let out a sQuawk when she yanks you down slightly “here!” emma pulls a shiny red apple out of your bag and hands it to you

you take it from her and raise a brow “i didn’t-“

“you packed this this morning, remember? to give to mr. kim?” she blinks and squeezes her eyes shut before opening them as wide as possible

.,,.is she trying to wink at you?

you’re going to have to teach her how to wink proper- oHHHHHh

“right! i… did! i did pack- here you go, tae- mr. kim.” you smile sheepishly and hand him the red apple

goD

now you feel like a tiny little teacher’s pet because none of the other parents ever bring tae apples and apparently you bring him apples now!!!

“thank you!” taehyung laughs lightly “that’s very sweet of you, miss y/l/n.”

you feel like your entire face is redder than the damn apple “uh, anyWays! em, i will see you later.” you pat the top of her head before nudging her into the room

“bye, mama!”

you glance back at tae “and i will also.,., see u later.,.”

woWie

what an interesting start to the day

“i don’t know how she managed to sneak an apple into my backpack without me noticing.” you slam the car door shut and jin laughs a little and shuts his door

you fling your backpack over your shoulder and jin hands you the takeaway cup of hot chocolate

sometimes you pick jin up from his place after you drop emma off at school just because it’s on the way and jin says he would rather dunk himself in boiling water than go on public transport at 8:30 in the morning

he makes it up to you by paying for the starbucks drivethru drinks

“she’s probably picking it up from me. i am super smooth, after all”

you snort immediately “oh, right, like that one time you- shit!”

“okay firSt of all i would NEVER defecate in public-“

“no, i’m not talking about you, you weirdo!” you scowl before unlocking your car and opening up the passenger seat door “emma left her lunch bag in here…”

jin checks the time on his watch “if you go back and drop it off you’ll only be… twenty-ish minutes late to class? don’t worry, i’ll catch you up on anything that’s important.”

“thAnk you so much you beautiful man-“

seokin gasps and purses his lips “so you ADMIT it you think i’m-“

“oh my god not noW-“ you hop into the driver’s seat and fling your backpack to the front seat before shoving the key into the ignition

you bought one of those fancy sandwich cutters and emma’s peanut butter and jelly sandwich is shaped like a butterfly today and you’ll be daMNed if she doesn’t get a chance to show it off to her classmates

you parked the car hastily so it’s kind of crooked but it’s fiNE

your sneakers squeak against the linoleum as you make your way down the familiar hallway

and you heaR the chorus of kids singing coming from tae’s classroom

you even hear tae singing along

“five little ducks went out one day, over the hill and far away, mother duck said quack quack quack quack, but only four little ducks came back-“

you peek into the room a little and giggle lightly when you see tae wiggling his arms and shaking his butt like a little duckling

how precious!!!!!!!

:’-)

u hate to interrupt the fun morning song but you really gotta get the heCk out of here and go back to class

you already hate that you might be missing 20 minutes of class so you’re trying to minimiZe those minutes as much as possible  

you give the bright red door a couple knocks and shoot everyone a sheepish smile when the entire class and tae turn to look at who’s at the door

taehyung tells the kids to busy themselves with the duck song before he excuses himself

“hey!” he steps out of the room and shuts the door behind him “what’s up?”

“hey… emma left her lunch bag in the car so i figured i’d drive back and drop it off so it doesn’t look like i’m a negligent mother.” you joke before holding it out for him to take

“the girl loves her beanut putter sandwiches, doesn’t she?” taehyung takes the bag from you and shakes it gently

he only knows that because she has it for lunch like every day and she’s always showing it off to her friends because ‘my mommy cuts mY sandwiches into hearts because she loves me!!!!!!!!!’

“i keep telling her it’s peanut butter and not beanut putter… i think she knows the difference but she’s just doing it because she’s a little joker.” you snort and look down at the takeaway cup in your hand

you feel bad for interrupting the class so- “oh, before i forget! i brought a hot chocolate for you. it’s from starbucks so you know it haS to be good-“

“first an apple, then a starbucks hot chocolate?” taehyung beams and takes it from you “if i didn’t know any better, it’d seem like you were buttering me up or something…”

“ah, was it really that obvious?” you tease back

a beat of silence goes by

the both of you are now fully aware that there is a mutual attraction here

the unfortunate thing is that you’re both still big ol wuSSIes

taehyung wants to ask you out on a proper date.,.,. which he did yesterday!! but then you kinD of asked him if he wanted to join you and em for hot cocoa and scones??

and he kinda wants to take you out on a date that perhaps doEsn’t include emma.,,. no offence to her, of course!

he just wants some alone time with u

“so… yesterday was nice!”

almost instantly your cheeks flush and you let out a light laugh “yeah, it really was…”

well

he has you alone

so he might as well go for it agaIN

taehyung clears his throat “hey, so… i don’t know if it wasn’t clear yesterday, but i… would you want to go out on a date with me? like, a proper one?”

“you mean yesterday wasn’t a proper date?” your brows knit together and taehyung automatically enters pANIC mode

“n-no, not at all! i kinda meant l-like, ah, i don’t know, maybe this isn’t a good-“

“tae-“ you reach over and pinch his arm gently “i’m kidding. i would… love to go out on a proper date with you.”

taehyung lights up immediately and nods quickly “how does tonight sound? i overheard emma and hwayoung talking about their sleepover tonight, but if you’re busy we can totally find another time to-“

“tonight’s fine! tonight’s good.” you nod and smile at him

taehyung’s heart skips a beat

he doesn’t know why he’s so nervous and stuttery around you  

“i can come pick you up at your place since i know where you live-“ oH gOd okay reel it back “-bECAUSE it’s on the registry-“

“sounds good! you can text me what the plans are after class today so that i’ll know what to wear-“  

ᵖᵉᵏ

your lashes flutter when taehyung leans forward and kisses your cheek just like you did to him last night

you unintentionally let out a little gasp and reach up to brush your fingers over your reddening cheek “mr. kim! keep it professional…” there’s a playful glint behind your eyes and taehyung can’t help but snort and roll his eyes playfully “besides - it looks like we have an audience.”

he glances over his shoulder and sure enough all the kids are squiShed up against the window in the door to sneak a peek at mr. kim and emma’s mom

“…scATTER-!“ you hear emma and you can’t help but laugh at the sight of the kids panicking and heading back to their spots

you open your mouth to speak

and then it happens

“mr. kim and emma’s mom, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-s,,,,..,,e?,,.i…a!!! i..?” the song trails off into unsure mumbles because none of the kids know how to spell kissing yet and you let out a groan and reach up to cover your face

taehyung stifles a laugh and shakes his head

“i think that’s my cue to leave” you kiss your teeth and point towards the hallway

“you’re going to leave me here to face the merciless teasing of all those kids by myself?!” taehyung gawks at you before turning to look into the classroom where all the kids are huddled by the whiteboard trying to figure out how to spell kissing as if it was some biG ol conspiracy theory

so far they have ‘khisign’ and ‘keccing’ and.,., one kid wrote down ‘kitten’

??

huh

maybe he should replace morning singing with morning spelling from now on  

“i’ll make it up to you, mr. kim!” you’re already hALfway down the hall and taehyung’s heart goes bAbumP when you blow him a kiss

“i’m holding you to that promise, miss y/l/n!”

ah, yes.

to be young and in love.

[gothighunicorntolerance]

Save The Moment chapter 6

AO3

Patton impatiently tapped his foot as he counted down the minutes until he and Janus would be driving to his house to have a movie night and meet his parents. In the past two weeks he and Janus had been dating, he told his moms about Janus and they wouldn’t stop asking when they were going to come over- but tonight the teasing would be over, and his moms would see just how amazing Janus was!

Patton had noticed, when he saw Janus earlier, that they had chosen to wear a yellow button-up shirt and black slacks instead of their usual hoodie and jeans- though they kept their usual color scheme. 

Then, finally, the bell rang, dismissing Patton into the halls to go find his wonderful, amazing, beautiful, funny, sweet- Patton was running out of adjectives- significant other. Before running out of the classroom, Patton checked to make sure his camera was around his neck. He didn’t want to misplace it again; once was enough!

“Janus!” Patton hugged them from behind as soon as he spotted them in front of the school. 

“Hey, Pat.” they leaned backwards into Patton, smiling. 

“Are you ready to watch the Disney movie with the best comedy of all time?”

“Sure, but I don’t know about the ‘best comedy of all time’ part. I think that would have to go to Lilo and Stitch. You can't get much funnier than an alien with a chainsaw.”

“Oh, I think you’ll find it can get MUCH funnier than that.”

“Prove it,” Janus smiled. 

“Then let’s go,” Patton took Janus’s hand and the two of them headed to Patton’s car, Janus blushing the entire time at the hand-holding. 

“Virgil is staying to watch Roman’s rehearsal again, I usually give him a ride. Sorry about the mess,” Patton explained as Janus moved a can of coke off the passenger seat. 

“No, no. You’re fine,” Janus waved him off. 

“Okay. Thanks. Your playlist or mine?” Patton changed the subject. 

Janus thought for a moment. “Yours. Your playlist is always really happy, and I could probably use that,” they laughed nervously. 

“Nervous?” 

“Not at all,” Janus said nervously, tapping their fingers against their knee. 

“You don’t have to be. My parents are great, and they’ll love you! We’re just having dinner and watching a movie. Relax, Janus, you’ll be alright. I mean really, what’s the worst that could happen?” Truthfully, Patton could think of several bad things that could happen, although most were extremely unrealistic. Shaking his head, Patton started the car and turned on his music. Out of the corner of his eye, Patton saw Janus reach a hand up to his face and cover his scar, sighing quietly. 

***

When the two of them arrived at Patton’s house, Janus took a deep breath before stepping out of the car and walking with Patton up the steps to his house. Patton took out his house key and opened the door. 

“Patton!” 

“Hi, mom!” Patton turned to Janus. “Janus, this is my mom.” 

His hand held out a hand to shake Janus’s. 

“Hi, Mrs. Harte. I’m Janus, and-” Patton’s mom interrupted. “I know! I’ve heard so much about you!”

“Mom-” Patton groaned, but smiled. So far, everything was going smoothly. Patton had told his moms that they shouldn’t comment  on Janus’s scar or vitiligo, as to not make things awkward or make Janus embarrassed. 

“Well, come one in! My wife should be home soon, and I’ll order pizza. What do you want, Janus?”

“Oh, um, just cheese, thank you,” Janus replied, looking at Patton as they were ushered to the kitchen. Looking around, they saw that there were many frames hanging on the walls or propped on a counter, all holding beautiful pictures- Patton probably took all of them, with vibrant flowers or winding paths through the forest or a reflection of a boat on a still lake. 

“Of course! Would you like something to drink? Water, soda…?”

“If you have Sprite that would be great, ma’am.” 

“Patton, you didn’t tell me you were dating a gentle-them!” Mrs. Harte smiled. 

Janus looked to Patton once again, who just shrugged and mouthed ‘go with it.’ 

After a small interrogation of Janus by Patton’s mom, Patton took Janus into the living room and turned on The Emperor’s New Groove. 

The two of them started on different couch cushions, but found themselves moving closer until Janus was leaning on Patton’s shoulder, his arm around Janus’s shoulders. 

Patton had taken the blanket that was draped on the back of the couch (which Janus assumes was handmade by Patton)  and snuggled closer to Janus underneath it. 

About halfway through the movie, Patton’s mom came in and announced that pizza was ready, failing to hide a smile as the two sprang apart, embarrassed.

“Hi, mom,” Patton said sheepishly as he and Janus were handed slices and a drink. 

“Thank you, Mrs. Harte,” Janus suddenly found the carpet very interesting. 

Patton’s mom smiled as the two of them turned back to the movie, Patton’s arm once again sliding around Janus’s shoulders when the pizza was finished. 

After the movie, Janus turned to Patton, laughing. “Okay, I’ll concede. This was amazing! No regard to the fourth wall whatsoever!”

“I told you so!”

After Janus had introduced themself to both parents and had been thoroughly questioned by Patton’s moms, they had been judged “a keeper!” by Patton’s mom. 

When it came time for Janus to leave, Patton's mom stopped them. 

“Janus,” she started. “I don’t know what your parents know or think about being in the LGBT community, but just know that you’re welcome to stay here if you ever need to, okay? As long as you’re good to my son, you’re welcome here any time.”

Janus wasn’t quite sure what to say- they didn’t really have a supportive adult- only an alcoholic father with anger issues and judgemental homophobia stemming from religion- so they just nodded and said, “thank you, ma’am,” hoping they hid the crack in their voice and the tears that were welling up in their eyes. 

“Of course, hon,” she put a comforting hand on Janus’s shoulder.

Patton appeared out of the kitchen. “I’ll drive you back,” he said, opening the door with Janus following. “Be back soon, mom!” Patton said over his shoulder 

When the two of them were at the entrance to Janus’s neighborhood, Patton pulled over to one side of the street and turned to them and said, “I think they like you. I hope my mom didn’t give you too much trouble: it looked like kind of a serious talk that I interrupted.”

Janus shook their head. “It’s just…” they trailed off, not knowing how to word it. “My dad is- he’s not accepting. At all. I haven’t even told him anything. And your mom was offering me a place to stay if I needed.”

“Oh,” Patton frowned. “I’m sorry that your dad isn’t great. But you can definitely come over anytime you want! I’d love to be with you more.”

The tears Janus had tried to hold back suddenly came, and Patto looked over at them, concerned. 

“No, it’s not you-” Janus said off of Patton’s look of worry. “It’s just.... My dad isn’t… he’s an asshole.”

Patton’s mouth opened into an ‘o,’ not quite believing someone would say that their parent was an asshole so blatantly. 

“He is. He’s so bigoted and horrible. I’ve never even thought about coming out to him before I’m a legal adult and moved out.”

“Oh, Janus… I’m so sorry that you have to go through that. Gosh, if there’s anything I can do…”

Janus just shook their head. “The only thing I want right now is to be able to see you. Your moms are great, and you’re amazing. God, Patton, you’re the nicest person I’ve ever met. And you’re cute, and funny....”

Patton blushed, looking down at his lap, his eyes starting to water with Janus’s speech. 

Janus’s tone suddenly became serious. “Patton? You should probably also know that you’re the first person I’ve ever dated. I’ve always been so afraid of my dad finding out, but I’m a good liar,” Janus laughed nervously. “I don’t know what you want, or- or expect from me. I just- I thought you should know. So your standards aren’t too high and you’re disappointed when I don’t meet them.” Janus let out a shaky breath, their cheeks becoming wet with salty tears.

“Janus… everyone dates for the first time. It doesn’t matter to me if I’m your first date or your hundredth, I just care that you’re happy. And since we’re doing some confessions, I should tell you that I’m asexual.”

Janus nodded. “Thank you for understanding,” they said as Patton started to drive again. 

“Of course. Everyone is in that position at some point in their lives, and it isn’t fair to judge. If there are any boundaries you want to set, I’ll do my best to obey your wishes.”

Janus nodded as Patton pulled up to the front of their house. They sat in the car a moment longer, not wanting the night with Patton to end. So the two of them sat in the car just a little bit longer, their hands touching on the center console. 

But, like all good things, it had to end. Janus sighed, opening the passenger side door. Before they stepped out, they leaned over to Patton, kissing him on the cheek. It had become the couple’s way of saying goodbye. 

“Thank you again, Pat,” Janus smiled as they closed the door and walked up to their house. 

Unlocking the door as quietly as they could, they tiptoed through the dark kitchen, snoring coming from the armchair in the living room. Making it silently to their room, they flopped onto their bed, grinning from ear to ear as they ran a hand over the stuffed snake Patton had given them.

[inkabelledesigns]

Connotation of “Talented” vs “Skilled”

I don’t know how they run classes in other countries that deal with understanding literary components, but one of the things I distinctly remember from my English classes here in the United States is talking about definition versus connotation. Sure, different words may mean the same or similar things, but the context in which they’re used, or the way they’ve been used in the past, can cause us to have different meanings associated with them, subtext, if you will. For example, when you’re talking about someone laughing, there are many words you can use to describe the action. You could say that they giggled, which has this aura of being cutesy or diminutive with it, maybe even a bit whimsical. Or you could chortle, which has the connotation of something sinister and evil, of foul intent. This is probably because we use the word often when writing villains, much like you would with a cackle.

The bottom line is, words have power, and which ones we use and how we use them leads to a number of different interpretations. So one thing I find myself wondering is which word is more flattering when complimenting my fellow artist: Talented or Skilled? And I suppose the answer depends on what kind of message you want to share. Let me copy and paste the definitions of each from Google to show you what I mean. 

Talented: tal·ent·ed/ˈtalən(t)əd/

adjective

having a natural aptitude or skill for something."a talented young musician"

Skilled: skilled/skild/

adjective

having or showing the knowledge, ability, or training to perform a certain activity or task well."a lab technician skilled in electronics"

based on knowledge or experience; showing expertise. "skilled legal advice"

(of work) requiring special abilities or training."a highly skilled job"

See? They aren’t too far off from each other, but there are subtle things that make me think of them differently. When I think of someone who is talented, I think that they are naturally skilled, that whatever they’re really good at comes easily to them. Like they could do it in their sleep and have a good result. Maybe you’d even think they were born with it. But for skilled, I think of it differently. Skills are something you take many years to build up and refine. It requires a lot of learning, with time, effort, and energy put in. Skills are acquired through a journey, you can’t gain skills without also gaining experience. 

I think it’s flattering to be complimented with either one of these words. When you say that someone is talented, that has the implication of “what you do feels natural.” To say that someone is naturally gifted, that they take so easily to something that they love, that’s so kind! Skilled implies more of a journey, like the person who sees what your doing recognizes that you put a lot of hard work into it, that this wasn’t something you got good at overnight. I’m more inclined to say that someone is skilled, because I think that gives them more recognition for all the time they’ve put in. Especially because not everyone that’s skilled is necessarily talented, the thing they’re really good at may not have come naturally to them at first. For some people, they really need to work at it to get to the level of quality they want. Both are really flattering for different reasons, and I love that!

And to give you an example, here’s how it’s applied to me. Now considering the arts are my main gig, it may surprise people to know that no one in my family or circle of friends expected me to be a visual artist of any kind growing up, and there are many reasons for that. I didn’t have an interest in drawing until the seventh grade, I don’t like getting messy with materials, and the big one: I have aspergers syndrome. The expectation for folks with my disability is that we’re logical and more inclined towards things like math and science, kinda like Vulcans in Star Trek in the most extreme cases. But let’s be real, I’m neither of those things, which is further proof that not every symptom on a list is applicable to every person with that diagnosis. I was never a natural talent for those things, where I excelled was in writing, and even though that felt natural, I still had to work for it. I had to work way more to be able to draw decently, and I owe it to having a lot of determination, practice, and a few really good teachers. Am I the best artist in the world, or my friend group? Not in the slightest. Do I still have a lot to learn? Absolutely. Am I still proud of how far I’ve come in the last ten years? Considering everything that was working against me, and how far I’ve come, yeah. 

I’m extremely flattered when someone thinks I’m a natural, but I’m also really honored when someone looks at my journey and recognizes what I was up against and how tough it was to overcome. I may not share all the details of that journey, and I may not know the details of everyone else’s, but your journey is important to you, isn’t it? So what more of a reason do I need to respect it and want you to succeed? You’re doing your best. Your best changes from day to day sure, but it’s still your best, and that’s worth respecting. 

[eldritchsurveys]

834.

How have you been feeling lately? Have you been doing ok? >> Eh. As long as nothing unpredictable happens, I’m mostly fine... but I’ve also had at least two meltdowns in the past week, so “mostly fine” is obviously a cover-up of some sort. I don’t really know what to do about it, so I am kind of just holding my breath through every day, hoping I don’t lose it over something trivial.

Are you currently in quarantine? >> No, the stay-at-home order has been lifted. Still not really going anywhere, though.

Do you wear a mask when you go to the store? >> We didn’t this past weekend, which I don’t feel great about, but I ordered a bandana yesterday so I’ll hopefully have it before this coming weekend.

Does your state require people to wear masks in stores? >> Well, they say they require it, but we were definitely not the only people in stores without masks on. So I don’t know what the deal is with that. I think maybe stores are weighing how much it’s worth having to deal with irate customers who can’t stand being turned away for not complying with the mask rule (Michigan is, after all, the state where armed protesters stormed the capitol building to harass the governor for extending the stay-at-home order...). Regardless, now that I will actually have a face covering next time, I’m going to use it.

Do you know anyone who's had the coronavirus? >> No.

What was the last sweet treat you ate? >> I ate part of a lemon coconut cookie.

Was it a nice day out today? >> It’s pretty nice, yeah.

Is the weather nice where you live usually? >> Usually? I wouldn’t say that. Winter lingers around here for a long time, and winter does not usually bring pleasant weather (in my opinion). Also, we get a lot of wacky lake-effect weather.

What was the last thing you ordered online? >> A bandana. It has a Baphomet on it, heh.

Are you expecting a package right now? >> Well, yeah, the bandana. Should be here Thursday or Friday (it’d better be, considering I paid extra for quicker shipping).

Have you ever ordered anything from Wish? If so, what did you buy, and did you feel it was worth it? >> I haven’t, but Sparrow’s ordered stuff from them. I think she likes everything she’s gotten (although she hasn’t gotten everything she’s ordered, which is annoying).

Are you a youtuber? If so, are you consistent with uploads? and how many subscribers do you have? >> I am not, nor would I ever be, a youtuber.

What is one thing you hate about summer? >> Heat waves. I like warmth, but too hot is too hot.

Did you go outside today? >> Not yet.

What is the name of your youtube channel, if you have one? >> ---

What was the name of the last store or restaurant that overcharged you? >> I can’t recall being overcharged anywhere.

Is your room more often messy or clean? >> On the cleaner side than the messier side.

Who is someone you miss? >> ---

What is something you miss? >> ---

Do you feel like your emotions are often haywire? >> I feel like that pretty frequently, yeah. I’m either having no emotions or having a veritable perfect storm of them, and I’d really like to find a fucking balance at some point.

Have you ever received a misdiagnosis from a doctor? >> I’ve mostly received misdiagnoses from doctors.

Have you ever been "diagnosed" with a mental illness from an online friend? who is not a doctor? If yes, isn't that frustrating? >> Nah, I’ve not had that experience.

Do you have any friends that you can trust and tell everything to? >> ---

What was the name of your favorite roommate you've had? >> ---

Do you have a favorite book that you've read multiple times? >> Yeah, there are a few books I’ve read multiple times.

What's one book or book series that you've read multiple times? >> I’ve read Dreamcatcher by Stephen King at least twice.

Have you ever had an embarrassing bathroom accident? >> Yeah.

What was the name of the funniest kid you've ever babysat? >> ---

Do you enjoy babysitting? >> Never done it.

Do you have any big regrets? >> No.

Are there things about your past that bother you? >> I mean... I’m post-traumatic, lmao.

What was the last thing you saw or read on social media that made you angry? >> That doesn’t really happen to me.

Do you often post about controversial topics on facebook? >> I don’t post on facebook at all.

Do you think it's a good idea to post about serious topics on social media? or do you think that it's better to discuss serious topics in person? >> I think that a lot of misunderstanding happens on social media that could possibly be avoided or at least worked through with more efficiency in person. I do say possibly, because like, who knows, really. But there are many discussions I wouldn’t bother getting into on social media (especially where other people can see it and jump in with their two cents), that I might be more willing to discuss one-on-one with a person in a controlled environment. Which is why I hate that people don’t use IM/DM functions more often for working through sensitive topics (like “I have a problem with something you said in [x] post and I would like to work it out with you” or whatever), instead of turning it into a public fucking debate.

What was your favorite book you had to read for school? >> Their Eyes Were Watching God.

Have you ever failed a class and had to repeat it? >> No, I got no credit for a class and had to repeat it.

What class in school did you hate the most? >> All of them lmao

Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? >> Fuck no.

What's one childhood dream that has stuck with you, and one that has not? >> ---

Would you want to re-live your childhood over again if you could? >> FUCK NO.

Which do you like more: being an adult or being a kid? >> I vastly prefer being an adult where I have at least some semblance of agency and control over my own life, instead of being subject to the whims of people who don’t actually care about what I want or need or feel but are mostly thinking about what they want out of me.

At what age were you when you started to feel like you were mature enough to offer others advice? >> I don’t recall having this thought, like, ever. I offer advice when someone’s asked for it and I feel like I have some to offer. I don’t give a fuck what my age is.

Did your parents smoke or drink when you were growing up? >> No.

Do you enjoy bonfires? >> Yes.

Have you ever stepped on a sparkler? >> No.

What, do you know of, are you allergic to? >> Nothing.

Have you ever ridden in an ambulence? >> Yep, front and back.

What is your favorite version of the Bible to read, if applicable? >> I prefer the NIV for just regular reading, but ngl, the KJV has some turns of phrase that can be really poetic-sounding in certain verses.

Do you follow trends? or are you a trendsetter? >> Literally neither. I just do what I want.

Has anyone ever described you as a trendsetter? >> No.

Do you know anyone who used to be loving, but then turned cold? List three people you've known whom this has happened to. >> I don’t know anyone like that, which is good, because that is definitely red-flag behaviour.

What SAT subjects, if any, did you get a perfect score in? >> ---

What were your best subjects in school? and what was your favorite subject in school? >> ---

Have you ever been abused by a parent or legal guardian? >> Yes.

Do you have a lot of wounds from your past? >> Nope. Not a single one.

Has anyone ever called you a jerk? >> Probably.

Are you a jerk? >> Probably.

What color were your bedroom walls in high school? >> I assume they were the Nothing(tm) colour that is standard in apartment complexes.

Is there a girl or guy you wish you hadn't let slip away? >> No.

Is there an old friend that you miss and would like to reconnect with? >> No.

Who has hurt you the most? >> Sigh.

Have you been bullied? >> Yes.

Which talent show, if any, would you most like to audition for? and have you auditioned for one? >> I would rather die.

Do you know anyone who's auditioned for American Idol? >> No, but I know someone who auditioned for X Factor, which is largely the same concept.

Is there someone you think should audition that hasn't yet? >> No. I don’t think anyone should audition for those stupid ass shows.

What time of day do you usually feel your best? >> There is no time of day when that’s likely to happen. It depends more on my actual mental state than what time of day it is.

What's one way in which you've changed within the last ten years? >> Oh, you know, stuff.

Do you feel like time goes by fast, or slow? >> To me, it just... passes?

Who do you know who has died of cancer? >> No one.

Has there been cancer in your family? >> I don’t know.

Have you ever stayed overnight in a hospital, and if so, what for? >> Yeah. For being suicidal, or for being self-injurious, or because people just plain thought it’d be a fun thing to do to me, I don’t fucking know.

Have you ever been a victim of police misconduct? >> No.

Have you ever been so angry you wanted to sue someone? >> That... would be such a strange response to being angry at someone. For me, anyway. I don’t know, maybe it makes sense to other people. I stick to Old Reliable -- wanting to beat them to a pulp or something.

Have you ever been a victim of racism? >> I mean, probably.

Have you ever deleted a friend on facebook for making racist comments? >> No. Luckily, that’s never happened to me.

What was the last thing you ate? >> Veggie burger and chips.

What was the theme of your senior prom? >> Damned if I remember, that was like 15 years ago.

Did you go to prom? >> Yeah.

Have ever been engaged or married? >> Yeah.

Are you an aunt or uncle? >> Technically.

Do you live to glorify God and to do His will? >> No.

Are you happy with the way you are living your life day-to-day right now? >> I mean, there are worse ways to live. At least I get to decide for myself what I do with my day.

Do you feel like your life was better or worse six years ago? >> It was definitely worse. That’s not even something to question.

Have you ever made a huge, catastrophic mistake? >> I don’t think any of my mistakes qualify for such a dramatic adjective.

What's one need of yours that is currently not being met? >> ---

Do you feel like you are currently in a state of suffering? and that not all of your basic needs are being met? If so, how long have you been in a state of suffering? >> Not that kind of suffering, no -- I’ve been in that state, where most of my basic needs were not at all being met, and I’m very grateful to not have to live like that anymore. Unfortunately, living like that for extended periods of time tends to have lasting effects, which is [part of] what I’m dealing with right now.

Do you hate social injustice? >> Nah, I love it. It’s just great. It’s the best thing ever--

Are you happy with the current social class you are in? >> I’m in that strange limbo where I, as an individual, am poverty-class, but since I am part of a household where the other person works a relatively okay job for a living, I get the benefits of being working-class. We’re still low-income by modern urban standards, though. Anyway, I’m fine with that for the most part, but that’s also because I’m used to being literally penniless so anything is better than that.

Do you feel like you are being given what you deserve right now? >> What the fuck do I deserve? What does that even mean? No one owes me anything.

Life isn't fair. True or false? >> I mean, true, I guess.

Do you hate that life is so unfair? >> I don’t really think about life that way. It’s people who have the option to be fair or unfair (and who have the option to perceive of things as fair or unfair); life is just... life.

Name a few people who seem to have everything handed to them. >> I don’t know anyone like that.

Who do you go to when you're upset? >> Can Calah.

Do you pray less or more than you did 5 years ago? >> I didn’t pray then and I don’t pray now, so... the same.

Do you pray a lot? >> No.

Do you frequently have back pain? >> No.

What's the worst side effect you've experienced for a medication? and what's the worst withdrawal effect you've experienced from a medicine? >> The last time I recall having side effects to medications is when I was being put on various psychiatric drugs as a teenager, but I don’t really remember any of the specifics except... being exhausted all the time (because I remember falling asleep in classes and being reprimanded for it like I’m doing it on fucking purpose).

Have you ever used an epi pen? >> No.

What's a name that you like but probably wouldn't use for one of your kids? >> ---

What's you name, and do you like it? >> Mordred. Of course I do.

Would you prefer to give your kids common names or unique names? >> ---

Do you feel like anybody values you in the way that you deserve? >> There’s that word deserve again. Anyway, yes, I’m sure someone values me well enough. Probably.

Who have you felt the most valued by? >> I guess Sparrow values me, or we wouldn’t be married. That’s how that works, right?

Have you ever been treated like you were inferior? >> Yes.

What was the name of the biggest bully in your high school? >> ---

Do you ever sleep outside? >> I’ve slept outside before, yes.

How many siblings do you have? >> ---

Are you the oldest, youngest, middle, or only child? >> I was raised as the only child in the household. I was the youngest of my father’s children.

How many kids do you want to have? >> Zero, ideally.

Do you want to get married? >> It’s already been done.

Best date you've been on? >> ---

Dream date? >> ---

Ever kissed someone on New Year's? >> Yeah.

Have you ever had an experience so good you felt like you were flying? >> Probably.

Have you ever been in so much pain you prayed that you would die? >> Yep.

What brings you the most joy? >> Uh... hmm. Good question. I’ll get back to you on that. Someday.

What is your passion; what is it that would bring you the most joy and fulfillment in life? >> I don’t think I have any passions.

Have you ever laid your dreams aside because someone else wanted you to? >> Well, fortunately for everyone else, I don’t really have any dreams.

Who supports you in everything you do? >> Sparrow is pretty supportive when I bother to do stuff.

Who always tries to stop you whenever you try to go after your dreams? >> ---

Do you believe in following your heart, in going after your dreams? >> I think that if someone has a dream, then sure, they should try to see it through. But I also think that sometimes it just ain’t worth it. It’s up to the person to make that determination, though, not me. Personally, I don’t really know what it’s like to have a dream, so it’s not like I can relate or anything.

Do you wish other people would want you to be happy? >> I don’t think people want me to suffer or anything. I think that in general, people aren’t really thinking about me at all.

Do you wish you had someone who loved and supported you? >> I do. I wish I had the capacity to feel loved and supported.

[tfcocktails]

             Mighty fine summer day we are having, eh transformation aficionados? Everyone needs a drink. Something stiff, cold, and sweet to help beat the heat. Whether you are working out in the yard or simply having a BBQ, this drink will be sure to satisfy. Fair warning! This one has a component that take extra effort. Make sure to start prepping this one in advance. With that in mind, I present to you:

The Bear Pun

Ingredients

- Fresh Berries (I used strawberry)

- Black cherries

- 1 shot Birch Liquor

- 1 shot bourbon/cherry syrup***

- Ice

- Root Bear

             We will start with the most complicated, the magical elixir that is bourbon cocktail cherries. You will need a mason jar, black cherries, a bottle of good bourbon (Woodford, Angel’s Envy, Eagle Rare, E.H. Taylor), and some good honey. Try to resist the honey if you can. This should be early in the transformation. If you shove your fingers in and start eating you will be sporting bear paws before drink shaking! Awkward, particularly since this concoction needs to sit in a fridge for 2 weeks, but preferably a month. Get out your sanitized jar and pit a bunch of cherries. Again, resist the urge to simply eat all of them. Follow the golden rule, 1 for the jar, 1 for the bear. If you are using a quart jar, add in 2 tablespoons of your honey. It should be in a pourable state, so use a microwave if needed. Now, fill the jar entirely up to the lip with your best bourbon. Shake! Place this in the fridge and give it a good shake once a day for the first two weeks. Then just let it sit in there growing more and more delicious.

             Wait a good while. Should you be lucky enough to live near KY you can get Woodford Reserve bourbon cherries in the store. Add half of its brine and half a shot of bourbon instead.

             Fresh berries are a must. Just get something in season. Should you need to know what is in season, consult your local grocer. Consider going to one of those fancy farm picks. Nothing is better than a fresh off the patch, sun warm strawberry. You will suddenly learn what black bears make such a fuss over!

             Next up is Birch Liquor. This one could be a bit tough. It is a product of Iceland, but your liquor store might be able to order you some. If not, you can find birch syrups around. They will not be as nice. No one wants to be turned into a poor-quality bear. Other good options include using Birch Beer. This is an option if you are from the Midwest. You might be able to order some online. This will give you a bit darker of a color to the drink, but that is fine. Bears come in all sorts of beautiful colors.

             Buy a craft root beer for this. Or else get A&W. If you do get A&W, I am legally obligated to suggest that you frost your mug in the freezer before making this drink.

             One good time later, you now have everything necessary! I served my drink in a half quart mason jar for looks. Just use anything that fits your big, meaty bear paws. Straws are highly recommended. Cut up two large strawberries and place it in the glass. Add in one or two of those deliciously brined cherries, followed by a shot of the liquid. Follow this up with the shot of birch liquor. Add the ice and give it a stir with a spoon or straw. The booze should homogenize well before topping with the delicious root beer. Enjoy!

             How to describe the taste. Birch root beer is already a fantastic pairing. The bubbles will numb and tickle your tongue, cutting out any of the alcohol’s normal bitterness. Your face will probably push out into a muzzle on the first sip. This is why straws are important, particularly if the glass is narrow. No one wants a Winnie the Pooh situation. If you go to the vet with your face shoved into a jar, I will laugh at you. Perk up those rounding ears and listen to your bartender. Drink responsibly.

             Use a lot of ice. If your paws are not a bit chilly then you are not adding in enough! This is a summer drink. In winter, just hibernate or drink grain alcohol. The cold will help numb any irritation caused by your fingernails becoming claws. Very quickly your body is going to get insulated by a thick layer of fur anyways. Enjoy the cold while you can.

             All the lingering sweetness in this drink will help build up your body weight. This is not a diet recipe. Bears should be burly; it is the nature of the adjective. Again, be prepared. Drink this at home so no one minds when you grow out of your clothes. I do not condone illegal nudity until after you finish turning into an animal.

             The berries at the end will make a perfect treat for your new species. They will have absorbed not only the alcohol but become lacquered in the root beer. These are probably my favorite part. Your stub tail will really be twitching as you eat these suckers. By the end I expect you to become a very satisfied ursine.

             So, why is it called the bear pun? Well, you have fresh burries, root bear, burch liquor, and burrbon. It should be self-explanatory. Warning: Becoming a bear means putting up with a grizzly assortment of puns. You have been warned.

[staytruetonorthch]

Perfect Ch. 1

A/N: I’m super anxious but here is my first official post. It’s just a single chapter around 4.5k. I plan on this being a pretty detailed, long-form story so if you like it, hang in there. I promise it’ll speed up once we get past exposition. I’m also highly aware of the switches from past/present tense, but I’m too tired to fix it and I’ve been so hesitant to post it’s either a now or never. I hope you guys enjoy <3

Football!Calum x Dancer!OC  

-----

"Don't make me come over there!" It may have looked like I was yelling into the racks of clothing and shoes in my closet, and to be honest, I might as well be. 

"You worry too much, Celley." I can hear the smile on my best friend, Brynn's face from my bed in the other room. 

"I do, but only because you don't give a fuck, B and I know those boys don't," I said, counting each person out on my fingers. "That's four people in, and not a single fuck is being given. Someone's got to, or nothing would get done." 

"You've got a point. The delivery was a little aggressive, but I'm moved nonetheless," Ash spoke up through Brynn's phone. 

"I'm cleaning as we speak, Cel. It's gonna be fine," Luke chimed in from the boys' side of the phone. 

"I can hear you lads playing FIFA," I said with an exasperated sigh.

We have a party planned at the boy's house tonight. A party I only had five hours to prepare, but that's the beauty of university, right? Spontaneity. All precautions to the wind. Everything that I never could be in high school and am still afraid to do today after a whole month of coursework. Don't ask me what I think might happen. Spontaneous combustion? Instantaneous death? A party that no one has fun at because I didn't have time to make an updated playlist or look up the actual rules for any drinking games? 

"Brynn, are you ready to go?" I ask, peeking my head out of my closet to look at her sprawled out across my bed. I can hardly see her underneath the excessive number of decorative pillows and thick white down cover.

"I just got so comfortable. I was actually contemplating taking a nap."

"Please," I plead, batting my lashes over large dewy eyes. It’s a trick I picked up after so many lyrical dances over the years. Direct eye contact with these watery eyes always left judges speechless.

"Ugh… fine, but I'm getting wasted tonight and sleeping in this wonderful bed. Have your asses in gear by the time we get there," she said, hanging up on the boys and throwing pillows haphazardly across the floor. I cringed at every one as it landed in the thick white carpet. I don't bother telling her that I hadn't expected the night to end any other way. I pull myself back into the closet, eyeing my options once more. I could either go with a red gingham top, or I could tie my white vogue tee shirt in the front for a more casual look. Both require a bra sadly.

"The red is trying too hard," Brynn said, leaning against the doorframe. "You can't pull out picnic bitch chic at a party."

"I guess you're right." I pull the tee over my head careful to avoid touching the thin white fabric to my made-up face. Once I had a knot secured at the base of my rib cage, I fluffed my hair as if it could get any bigger and smoothed out my denim skirt. "Shoe's and I'm good. What about you?" I said eyeing her in the reflection of my full-length mirror. She wore a white hoodie underneath black overalls and black high-top converse. Splitting her hair in half, she tied it up into multicolored space buns on top of her head. Brynn is the kind of girl who could put on mascara and chapstick five minutes before she left, and she’s effortlessly beautiful. Her freckles do most of the work across her nose and cheeks, making her insanely adorable.

"Done. Let's hit the road, Jack," she said, walking towards the door to my studio flat. I quickly replace the pillows back on the bed and turned off all the lights before joining her. She grabbed the keys to my Jeep, knowing I’m too preoccupied to drive us.

"Are we stopping at the store on the way or coming back out?"

"Stopping on the way. We just need paper towels, red cups, more ping pong balls because Mikey lost three of the last four, and snacks. I also found this recipe for a cool looking pink drink, but the boys are all stocked on beer."

"I almost hate the fact that I can't use my fake here. I spent good money and almost got arrested for something that's legal here." I smile, scrolling through my checklist one more time to make sure I didn't forget anything.

"Well that's your fault for not doing a simple google search before you came to uni in Aus."

"I'm just saying, in America, I would be a plug." She turned wide out into the street, speeding past every car. She has a bit of a lead foot.

"That one's lost on me, love." I try to keep up with her American slang, but I wasn't able to watch a lot of American shows or anything growing up, so I'm a little behind to put it gently.

She said she has a southern accent, but I can't tell any difference. Everything she says just sounds brutal to me. Shit slams, anything can pop off apparently, and a lot of good things burn. At least that's what I gather when she uses 'fire' and 'flames' as adjectives. 

I met Brynn at new student orientation. She seemed to be the only other one unamused by the school's welcoming parade meant to encourage school spirit, so as soon as our parents left, we left campus to explore the surrounding area locating the nearest shops and eating places. She was unlike any friend I had ever made swearing and speaking in riddles. I went to an all-girls catholic school filled to the brim with carbon copies of perfect people. We were second to none in both academics and clubs, which my parents loved, and Brynn was the absolute antithesis of that. She was a self- proclaimed 'thick' queen who was a pleasant deviance to the bird thin girls I was usually surrounded by. Her hair couldn't choose a color after multiple self- dye jobs. Even her mixed Mexican and Jamaican heritage were new to me. She said what she wanted and smiled wide at everything. I'm just happy she saw something in me to stick around even if it was the fact that I kidnapped her on the first day, keeping her from someone better.

I grab the frame of the car as she whips into the car park stopping short of a disgruntled gentleman in the crosswalk. She cursed loudly, causing my face to heat up. I contemplate jumping out of the car seeing as how the doors to the Jeep are safely kept in my garage. It’ll be a quick getaway, but I may need to make sure she makes it into a spot that isn't already occupied with this lovely gentlemen's car.

We soon found a spot and made quick work of the shopping, splitting the list I organized by section right down the middle. We’re back on the road in no time, heading closer to the edge of campus where the boys lived.

Ashton was actually the first person to befriend Brynn. They met at a summer fellowship program that put them in parts of Australia that don't have service for a hundred miles. They have that rugged woodsman thing in common. It kept them in touch through their final year in high school before she 'coincidentally' got accepted into the same university as him an entire ocean's length away. They were equally as smiley; she was just a little more… brash at times which is hard to believe. She didn't want to admit that she was nervous when he invited her to the house, he shared with two of his best mates, so I didn't mention anything when she asked me along. As the male version of Brynn, I immediately got on with Ashton. Mikey was chirpy and so sweet despite his punk persona. His other mate Luke was quiet only offering his very corny, yet intriguing commentary. He seems to be the closest thing I have to the friends I'm used to at home despite his lip ring. We formed a group of sorts meeting up in the library to study during the week and finding anything else but coursework to do on the weekends.

Our first kickback was just a barbeque featuring the five of us until Ash invited a few friends he made throughout the week with his open and boyish charm. Brynn had a few of her own, and Mikey wanted to join in on the fun, so he found a few friends to join. Luke and I were just fine meeting people as they were brought to us. Before we knew it, there was a group chat of about fifteen of us with more and more ideas of who to invite to the weekend shenanigans.

The boys had felt the pressure of expectation early this morning before Michael was a functioning human being. He shooed everyone off with a 'ya sure' before hanging up and going back to sleep. Brynn called me with our invite not only to attend the party but to host it at about 5:00 and of course, I freaked out. I plan everything, including some of the most successful events of my college career, if I do say so myself, so I took the praise for last week's party in stride. The difference is, I didn't spend my week planning out this event down to the second hand, so anything can happen. I wouldn't feel all the way like expelling my insides if it hadn't been confirmed that the first-year football players were going to be in attendance after today's match.

This confirmation came directly to Ash from another one of his mates from college, Calum Hood. Not only the best first year but the best player on the whole bloody team. He's also the hottest. The first time I saw him, he was leaving the classroom I was walking into. He opened the door just as I turned the handle, pushing me backward and almost to the floor.

"My fault, mate," he said distractedly, zipping his bag and flipping it over his shoulder. He was obviously sponsored by Nike dressed top to bottom in their slate grey gear, the school's emblem attached to every piece. The only thing I could tell wasn't sponsored was the gray beanie he had pulled down over his ears covering his hair. When he finally looked up a smirk graced his pink lips.

"You alright, doll?"

I couldn't tell if my reaction showed on my face because I didn't expect him to be so adorable with the brute force, he opened the door with. I just nodded my head taking deep breaths, trying to keep my face still. His tan skin was smooth and warm, complimenting the heat in his eyes that was slowly melting my resolve.

"Right. Well you're late, so you might want to…" he trailed off, nodding over his shoulder into the classroom.

"Right," I replied, hoping my hair was doing that cool thing it does when the wind pushes it back. It's either doing that, or the curls are fighting themselves on top of my head. It's so thick I can never really tell without a mirror, but let's be honest. My hair tells me what it wants to do, I rarely have any say in the matter. Instead of walking out of the door, he extended his arm, acting as a human door frame for me to walk under. When I turned my head to look again, he was gone.

I showed up a little earlier to class the next day to see if I could catch him again. Then I was late again and right on time before I decided to be outside the room before his class even ended. He was still nowhere to be found. I had practiced redeeming myself with a smile or maybe even words. Anything but how cringe-worthy I had been the first time, but to no avail. I didn't see him again until the boys dragged us to the first football game.

I don't mind sports at all. I grew up going to my older brother's rugby matches, so I'm not entirely clueless. Brynn, on the other hand, sat unmoving and quiet for the first time in our friendship. I think she concerned Ashton the most, as he asked her if she was ok every time the ball stopped moving.

"Someone tell me why I chose the guitar over football again," Luke said, pulling his hands down his face. "I was just as good as him, but now he's got fans and his face on posters."

"If that was true, I'm sure you'd be out there, dude," Mikey said, patting his shoulder. Michael wasn't interested in playing sports unless it was FIFA on the Xbox, but he was supportive nonetheless. Luke wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer, so he could point out the center forward dribbling through two defenders.

"That's my best mate, or at least he was before he got club offers," he said, taking a swig of his beer.

"I'm surprised he even came to university. He could've just gone pro," Ash said before he cursed the refs loudly. The boy Luke had been pointing out was quick with powerful legs and defined arms. His jaw was clenched, making it sharp enough to cut through glass. Thick curly hair was pushed out of his face with a thin gauzy headband, a gold streak shone prominently in the surrounding darkness of his curls. As he made quick work of the remaining defender, there was only himself and the goalkeeper who looked menacing. Making a sharp left jab, he caused the goalie's weight to shift, giving him the perfect opportunity to use his nondominant foot for a goal.

I jumped out of the way as the boys leaped up, hugging each other, and spilling beer. The entire crowd erupted in shouts, holding on to one another as if the world depended on it.

"CALUM! CALUM! CALUM!" the entire stadium roared. He smirked up at the crowd with a small wave. I gasped, grabbing onto Brynn's arm in surprise.

"Calum?" I asked incredulously. Oh boy what did I miss out on being dumbstruck? Not only is he incredibly attractive, but he's a football king? My parents would love him, I would literally win my family if I could've snagged him, but I'm stupid. So incredibly stupid.

This is why tonight is so stressful and important. If I can not only get a football player, but the best football player here and he looks that good, I can get my parents off my back. My mum went to university solely to get a husband, which she found in my dad. She worked as a primary school teacher until he could support them at his father's law firm, and before you know it, he was running the place. They pop out a few kids, dad runs for Parliament, and the rest is unfortunately history. Mum loved teaching, but she loved being a mum more. She just raised the 'perfect children' she liked to say to anyone who would listen. My too perfect to be true brother Cleo and her wannabe prima ballerina Celeste, me. So tonight, I have to look perfect, and everything has to be perfect, but I don't have time to bustle around and host. This party has to go on autopilot, so I can set my focus on Calum.

"It could be worse, Celley," Brynn shrugged as she set the grocery bags down on the counter of the boys' home. She's right, it could be. I didn't expect it to be this clean actually, but there were no discarded clothes in sight, no pizza boxes on the counters, and no beer cans all over the place. At first glance the place looks fine, I just have to get the dishes out of the sink and out of sight, so they're not broken. A quick vacuum run and the place would work out just fine. I relaxed a little letting my shoulders pull forward.

"Thank you, Lukey," I said, starting the water in the sink. I knew he was the only person who really did any cleaning around here. As much as they were all messy, he couldn't live in filth for too long.

"No problem," he replied sitting on the island watching me work.

"Hey, I picked up my own stuff," Michael complained looking through the bags we brought in pulling out various things.

"You picked up the underwear that your mum wrote your name in and sat back down." Ash always laughs when he chastises, never letting you know if he’s serious or not.

"Exactly. I picked up MY stuff. You guys never listen to me." He shook his head, disapprovingly.

"Thank you too, Mikey, but start throwing those balls around this kitchen, and I will cut yours off as a replacement," I said sweetly. His eyes went wide as he set the ping pong balls back in the bag he got them out of.

"So, what's the vibe going to be tonight?" Brynn asked, putting chips in bowls and swatting the boys’ hands away.

"Well I accidentally invited like twenty people this morning."

"And those people invited people," Ash added.

"And word got around so looks like we've got ourselves a rager," Luke said, rubbing his hands together with a devilish grin. "You've got to admit, we're becoming the best party house for first years."

"Calm down. We're just the only first-years who don't live in dorms where you can't party," Ashton said, punching Luke in the arm. Not many groups of friends stay together long enough or get into the same university for their parents to go in thirds on the house. It worked out to be less expensive than staying in dorms.

"We've got the fucking football team coming, Ash, I think we're doing pretty well." I listened to their banter silently as I cleaned and set things exactly where I had imagined them. The first guest started to arrive a few hours later after I had time to add a few extra touches and have my first glass of the wine Brynn and I had hidden in the fridge. Neither of us is too keen on liquor or beer.

Boys are scattered around the living room, passing around joints and playing FIFA. Girls talk around them, mingling on the patio. There’s a very competitive game of beer pong going on in the dining room that somehow consists of all four corners of the table instead of teams on halves. I was content for the first few hours refilling bowls and dancing with friends I had made at past parties. I even had time to play wingman for Michael and a blue-haired girl in the corner, but soon I got anxious. It was reaching the first hour of the new day. I found myself sitting on the floor between Luke's long legs watching him play Super Smash and stealing hits of the joint he had held between his fingers. I gave up on being cute at about two, smoking enough for my eyes to be as red as Luke's, and my shoes had long been discarded in one of the boy's rooms. I didn't know, nor did I care who's it was.

There were just about the maximum amount of people possible crammed into this small house, and I didn't bother saying excuse me as I got up to make my way to the bathroom. At one point there were so many people taller than me I felt I was walking through a forest. I tried slipping past one particularly muscular redhead boy caging a giggling blonde against the wall. I did my best to slip behind him, but he decided it was the perfect time to do the douche stretch and flex hitting me with the red cup in his hand. The pink sticky drink that was delicious if I do say so myself covered me from neck to foot. My skin went hot, and I'm pretty sure the blonde's giggles were going to cause me to evaporate the liquid from my skin with embarrassment alone. Where was my snarky American friend when I needed her to tongue-lash someone?

"I'm sorry, love," the boy said, failing to conceal his laughter. I tried to avoid his face at all costs burning a hole through his chest with my eyes. The school's emblem was stitched into his slate grey shirt, but I couldn't quite remember where I had seen this exact shirt before. I didn't have time to worry about it with my shirt becoming more see-through by the second and my head spinning in circles.

"Just let me by please," I said. Redhead stepped closer to the girl who was giving me a snarky look over his shoulder. "Stay in your lane, honey," I said, trying out one of Brynn's colloquialisms on my own tongue. My glare was enough to split the crowd like the red sea as I stormed past. Just as I reached the bathroom and twisted the handle, it swung open forcefully, revealing a disheveled brunette with smeared makeup and haunting blue eyes.

"What the fuck happened to you?" she said with an amused smile playing at the corner of her lips. 

"I could ask you the same thing," I said, pushing my hair out of my face. "Are you finished in there, so I can get cleaned up or?" She just smirked sauntering out with a wink. I shook my head, entering the bathroom and shutting the door behind me. I looked in the mirror at my hair that was slowly but surely frizzing out, and my shirt may as well have been a window into my soul for how see-through it was. My mascara was smudged in the corners of my eyes and my lips had lost their shine ages ago.

"Are you alright?" I was startled by a voice coming from the toilet.

"Oh my goodness, I didn't know anyone was in here," I said, covering my eyes. "I thought that girl was the only one and she left and--"

"It's fine. I'm not doing anything but looking at my phone." I peeked through the cracks of my fingers to see a boy was sat on the toilet cover searching diligently through his phone. I scanned him from head to toe. Black Vans, faded black skinny jeans, a cut-up muscle shirt that was barely attached at his hips, exposing his defined torso and arms. His warm skin, his dark hair with a single gold streak running up the front. I gulped, hoping I would take my own advice and just spontaneously combust.

"I'm gonna just go," I said quietly, reaching for the door behind me. I had forgotten how quick he was on the field because he scared me shitless when his hand captured my shoulder stopping me from leaving.

"No, I'll go," he said quickly. "I don't think I'm going to find what I'm looking for anyways. Unless… do you happen to know whose party this is?"

"It's my mate's house actually," I said, quirking an eyebrow in confusion. He should know. He invited himself and the whole team this morning.

"So you know all the lads? Michael, Ashton…"

"And Luke," I finished for him.

"I've been trying to reach Ashton and I just barely caught Mikey before he went down to the beach with some girl. He let me in, but there's so much going on I never made it past the kitchen. Do you know where Luke is?"

"Uh… couch." I pushed my hair out of my face taking a deep breath. I may as well just give up at this point. I'm in no position to charm anyone, and I can see the remnants of that girl's lip gloss on his lips. It was kind of cute on his pink pout, but I shook my head to clear the thought. He's not looking at me like that, and he probably never will.

I turned the faucet on testing the temp before grabbing a washcloth from the cupboard and washing the stickiness from my neck and exposed stomach. I expected him to leave, but he just sat back on the toilet cover, fiddling with his thumbs. He looked forlorn, his eyes longing.

"You ok?" I asked undoing the tie at the front of my shirt and attempting to wring it out to no avail. I glanced at the sad boy in the mirror and shrugged before pulling the wet material over my head and rinsing it out underneath the water. It's not like anything was left to the imagination with it on.

"Have you ever heard Luke say anything about me?" he asked quietly.

"Kinda," I tilted my head slightly as if it would help me think harder. "He did say you used to be his best mate when we went to one of your matches."

"He did?" he asked, perking up like a puppy.

"Yeah, watches every match. About loses his mind with pride every time you score, which you do quite often, good on you," I said, fixated with the faint pink water swirling around the drain. Maybe it wouldn't be a lost cause to put this in the wash. I'm so high and sleepy it probably won't make it tonight. "Well, I'm gonna go. If you work it up in you to go see Lu, tell him I've gone back to my flat. I'm sure he'd be thrilled to see you."

"I'll do that," he said, standing up assuredly. "I'm Calum, by the way."

"I gathered that," I said with a small grin. "I'm Celeste." When I opened the door, I didn't imagine how bad it might look with me leaving sans shirt, with the school's football star following close behind me. I decided to start caring in the morning when I had Brynn to complain to. I'm a person who knows how to quit while they're ahead. My perfect night shouldn't be able to get any worse, and I'm not going to give the universe the time to try. 

[skiller0dani]

S O U R | Chapter 2

Street Racer!Luke AU. ENJOY. Masterlist

WORD/PHRASE FOR THE CHAPTER:

Secret adjective | english /information one person withholds from another person(s)/

CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER TWO | CHAPTER THREE | CHAPTER FOUR | 

HAZEL DIDN’T KNOW what to say, “you’re a what?” She gasped at last, feeling her throat close. She felt her palms shake, imagining Luke out in the streets late at night going over 100 mph- jerking his car around those dangerous corners...“Haze it’s not as bad as it sounds.” Luke sighs, noticing her fallen expression. But she didn’t want to hear any of it, this was not only very dangerous- but extremely illegal. “Luke you could be arrested for this, do you not get that?” Hazel said, her voice strained. He ran a hand through his hair, something he does when he’s nervous or stressed. “Did you get in an accident?” Hazel asked, her eyes gliding over his bruises and cuts again. He shook his head, wincing as he stands from the toilet. Luke brushes past her and to the living room- his arm still wrapped around his abdomen. “Not exactly,” Luke says dismissively, avoiding eye contact with Hazel. She follows him, her arms firmly crossed over her chest. “Then where the fuck did all that come from?” She snapped, waving her hand to gesture to his bruised and bloodied body. Luke hissed as he gently lowered himself to the couch, “sore losers.” He grumbled, wanting nothing more than for this conversation to be over. Hazel rubbed a hand over her face, feeling both worried and frustrated. 

When the sun came up the next morning, Hazel was pleasantly surprised to see Luke awake already at 8 in the morning. How much about him has changed since she’s seen him last? In high school Luke was late nearly every single day because he always slept in, and now here he is at 8 in the morning- showered and ready for the day. “Since when did you start getting up early?” Hazel grumbled as she pulled her hair back into a messy bun. Luke cracked a small smile as he sipped at his coffee, sliding a cup over to Hazel. “Since I needed to start getting up for work.” He answered, absentmindedly playing with his lip ring. Dark bruises were still littered across his cheeks and Hazel can see them peeking out from under the collar of his t-shirt. He wouldn’t tell her exactly what happened and it worried her to no end. “Work today?” Luke asks, scrolling through his phone and Hazel shakes her head. “Ashton said to go in on Monday.” She said and Luke nodded- checking the time before standing from the table. He headed towards the front door, reaching to grab the keys from the counter before pressing a quick kiss to her head. “Be back later, love you!” He called as the door shut. That’s something he’s been doing since they were children- giving her kisses on the top of her head. A thought donned on her as soon as Luke left the apartment, if he wasn’t a mechanic then what was his job? 

***

“Hemmings, the fuck happened to your face?” Alex asked, a shit eating grin on his face. Luke scowled, “fuck off Alex.” He snapped, moving over to the clipboard on the desk. He read over the list of cars that they need and grimaced at one of them, “the hell do we need with a Volkswagen?”  He asked incrediously, raising a brow. Alex rolled his eyes before popping a chip into his mouth, “gonna make it a sleeper.” He explained with an easy smile on his face. Luke groaned before reaching to grab his keys, it’s not going to be a hard car to get but all the work they have to do after they get it is gonna be the annoying part. “Luke seriously, I didn’t know those guys would fuck you up so bad-” Alex started and for a moment Luke could have sworn he saw guilt flash through his eyes. Luke waved him off, “it’s whatever.” He says dismissively, still feeling the ache all over his body. Luke slid easily into his car- his street legal car, before looking back at his phone for the location of the car. The most illegal part of what Luke does is the car jacking. They need more cars for the races and meets, so Luke goes out to steal them. Simple. If Hazel ever knew the extent of what Luke does to race then he knows she’d never forgive him. He got into this a few years ago, when he was low on rent and drinking himself blind in the back corner of some sleazy pub. Alex had seen Luke’s racing car outside and decided to bring him in, and Luke had always loved cars and racing but this brought his addition for adrenaline rushes to an all time high. 

Luke cruises for a bit before he sees the Volkswagen sitting in the pick up location. Technically Luke doesn’t steal the car, he picks up the car that someone else stole- and Luke doubts the police will notice the difference if he’s pulled over in a stolen car. He parks his car a few lots away before his phone starts ringing, “hey Cal I’m going to get it now- you got me covered?” Luke asks as he begins to make his way towards the Volkswagen with his bag. “Yeah I got you, also disabled the alarm.” Calum explains on the other end and Luke doesn't bother to answer as he hangs up and pulls out a long silver tool from his bag. Approaching the car, Luke glances over his shoulders and when he’s determined that he’s alone- he presses the silver tool against the window and slides it down into the door. There’s a hook on the other end of the silver tool, so that when Luke feels the locking mechanism on the inside of the door, he can yank it open with the hook. Normally Luke would then have to pop the hood and cut the wires to shut off the alarm but Calum already did that part for him. Feeling around Luke feels the hook finally catch, “bout time.” He grumbles to himself as he unlocks the door and slides into the car- happy the loud and annoying alarm didn’t go off. Sitting in the driver side Luke pulls out a screwdriver and pries open the dash- revealing the ignition wiring. Cutting the wires and causing a spark- Luke starts the engine and smiles triumphantly to himself. 

On my way. Luke hits send, making sure Calum reads the text before he takes off towards the Warehouse. Glancing over his shoulder he sees Calum climb into Luke’s car before following him to the Warehouse at a safe distance. His phone starts ringing and when Luke looks at the caller ID, his heart begins to race. “Hey Haze what’s up?” Luke says casually, trying not to sound nervous. He hears shifting around on the other end, “hey sorry I’m...just-” Hazel grunts, and Luke hears more rustling. “Sorry. Just wondering when you’d be home...figured we could go have dinner somewhere tonight.” Hazel asks, sounding nervous but she hopes Luke doesn’t notice. The corners of Luke’s mouth twitch upwards at the anxiousness in her voice, “Hazel if you wanted to ask me on a date-” He starts when Hazel interrupts him, “it’s not like that!” She squeaks, grateful Luke can’t see her burning cheeks. He laughs, silently wishing it was a date, “I’ll be home in a few hours. Don’t miss me too much cause you’ll see me soon baby.” He teases, loving the surprised gasp that falls past her lips. Hazel’s heart pounds rapidly in her chest, baby. “O-Okay!” She stammers, wanting to punch herself in the face for not thinking of anything better to say. Luke hangs up, annoyed that he can’t wipe the shit eating grin off his face. 

Hazel lays back on her bed, feeling both giddy and extremely nervous at the same time. A smile stretches onto her face, he said yes! She can’t fight the urge to celebrate until reality comes crashing down on her again- they’re best friends. Best friends go out to dinner all the time, it probably means nothing to him. The urge to tell Luke how she feels becomes stronger and stronger every single second he’s not with her, but would that really be a good idea? What if he doesn’t feel the same way? That could totally ruin their entire friendship and no matter how badly she wants Luke, she can’t risk losing him all together. Hazel groans, feeling a dampness building between her legs every time she thinks about him. Biting her lip Hazel remembers how Luke didn’t shave this morning- the stubble lining his jaw makes her thighs ache for the burn of him between them. Reaching into her nightstand she feels around until she grabs what she was searching for- her ribbed vibrator. Carefully sliding her shorts down her legs she remembers when Luke took his short off, his muscular chest on full display. Hazel imagines what it would be like if Luke was here, hovering above her- pressing hard kisses to her neck and shoulders. She imagines his hands slowly and teasingly sliding up her shirt- a mischievous glint in his eyes as he lifts the fabric over her head. Hazel whines as she presses the buzzing vibrator to her closed core, imagining Luke pressing teasing kisses to the insides of her thighs. “Oh Luke,” She moans softly as she slides her underwear to the side, pressing the vibrator to her clit. 

Hazel throws her head back when she slides the vibrator through her wet folds, imagining Luke easing himself into her, stretching her open. She can practically feel the burning sensation spread through her entire body as she lets out a strangled whine as she presses the vibrator inside her. Hazel’s free hand grips at her sheets as she pictures herself clawing at Luke’s back as he pounds into her, “fuck Luke.” She moans louder- her body writhing against the sheets. She’s so lost in her own pleasure that she doesn’t notice the door open. Luke creeps into the apartment, shutting the door quietly when he hears Hazel’s soft whines. Luke feels his jeans getting tighter as he takes slow and careful steps towards her closed bedroom door. He hears her muttering to herself and he leans in to listen and what he hears makes him stumble against the door- causing it to creak open. Luke can’t get it out of his head, he can’t stop hearing her moan his name. Hazel’s eyes pop open and she’s frantically yanking the vibrator out of her wet core and throwing the blanket over her body. Luke stands frozen in her doorway, his eyes wide open and his chest heaving. Hazel feels her cheeks turn to blood red as tears of embarrassment build in her eyes. She doesn’t miss the tent in Luke’s pants as he gapes at her in disbelief. 

Blinking as Luke comes out of some kind of trance he closes the door and Hazel can hear his footsteps as he heads to his bedroom and shuts his own door. She feels tears sliding down her cheeks as she thinks what did I just do? Luke just caught her masturbating while thinking of him. There is no way they can come back from this, Hazel just ruined their entire friendship. Standing on shaky feet, she quickly pulls her shorts back on before reaching for the door handle. She hesitates as her hand trembles, feeling absolute panic at the thought of having to face Luke right now, how will she look at him the same? How will he look at her after this? What if he completely hates her? He’s probably so disgusted, he thinks of her as his sister- there’s no way he doesn’t. Hazel digs her fingers into her hair, her heart beginning to race out of control. She almost pinches herself, just to make sure this is real and not some sort of twisted nightmare. Luke leans against his bedroom door, trying to will his heartbeat to slow down. Did that really just happen? Was she, fucking herself with a vibrator, thinking about him? Luke can’t stop the sly smile as it crosses onto his face, there’s no way she sees him as only a best friend. Not after that. If anything now he knows that she’s sexually attracted to him- and Luke also knows for certain that she’s a virgin. How does he approach her now? What is he even supposed to say? Luke thinks for a moment before an idea pops in his mind, and he smiles before turning out of his bedroom. 

[flummoxy]

Queer Self-reliance

So things in the UK are set to be a shit-show for a long time, and if the US doesn’t get its act together, it’s going to be an even worse shit-show than it is now. The UK probably won’t be bothered to roll back protections for queer folx, but the GRA isn’t going to get better, and damn, things look bleak for us legal wise in the US. It will take decades to recover.

I think a lot about how queer folx have to band together, take an inventory of our skills and things we’re willing to learn and share, and protect each other the best we can. Our jobs are going to throw us out. The state is going to abandon us. Maybe it will be fine for the healthy rich white cis gay men of the US and UK, but not likely for anyone else, less likely every adjective you negate from that list. How do we as individuals look around at the others and 1. refuse to be broken apart, like TERFS (who are also secret homophobes) are trying to do, slashing up the LGB/TQ community, and 2. think practically about how we’re going to keep each other alive. Some of us are doctors and nurses. Some of us are caregivers. Some of us are cooks. Some of us can fix things. Some of us can clothe each other and keep out the cold. Some of us can grow things. Some of us are strong enough, or privileged enough to be able to put our bodies between danger and those it’s after. Some of us are teachers, of thought, of history, of any of the practical skills on this list. Some of us can drive big trucks. Some of us have extra rooms. Some of us are good at advice. Some of us are good at listening. I want to create a survey of a kind, getting each of us to look at what we’ve got to offer, what we would be willing to learn or teach, and what we’re going to need from someone else. Get each dispersed community to get a rolling Google Doc or something of who has a need and who can meet it. I want us to live, beautiful family.

To tell the truth, I find it hard to believe myself. My partner has been ill, mentally deteriorating since about March, I’d say, until they went into a mental hospital in May, and for six months, my life became 2D, everything went flat. I have had little energy for anything else, walking around like a zombie, dragging myself up a literal hill to the hospital, zoning out because I had to save every ounce of energy to be able to continue going to my job like usual. I went on anti-depressants which kept me sufficiently insulated from horrible feelings in response to the horror show that was happening with my partner, but that was it, it was only holding off the breakdown, and because that never quit assaulting me, I never got a chance to come back to life and start working on my own shit. And I felt really alone. I went to that hospital alone nearly every day, because no one else would take my shift. I asked people to take over so I could take a break, and I still had to orchestrate things, calling hospitals from holiday, begging my in-laws to take my partner home and keep them safe, asking if anyone would watch over them while I fled to America after being hit, and them still ending up in A&E. I don’t know if it’s over. I just know that I was as useless to everyone else as they were to me. We’re a mess, and it’s going to get messier. How do we live?

[ineffably-good]

London Calling (3/4)

Read on AO3

Summary: Crowley takes Frederick the snake to the zoo and Aziraphale witnesses an unexpected miracle. 

Part 8 of the Serpent and the Seagull series, which you can find here. 

_______

The texts began to arrive almost immediately.

Crowley, is everything all right?”

Crowley held up a finger to the officious gentleman across the desk who was asking him some rather pointed questions. “I’m sorry, I just have to answer this – it’s my partner.”

I can explain. But not right now. Need a few minutes.

Are you in trouble?

No, no, just taking care of something. Home soon. Is Frederick ok? 

Yes. Crowley, what is going on???

“Sorry,” he said to the man across the desk, “but as you can see I do not have a snake with me and I don’t know anything about how one of your prized – what was it? – yellow bird thingies came to be missing. I just happened across the snake right before the two children did, and it must’ve gotten spooked in the uproar and found a place to hide.”

“That’s interesting,” the man said, turning his laptop to face Crowley, “because we have video footage of you in several locations today where you appear to be holding a snake that meets the same description.”

Crowley examined the screen where there were a variety of crisp, clear shots of him and Freddy, face on. The lighting was excellent and it was them, clear as day.

“Oh, now, that could be anyone,” he said dismissively, “you definitely can’t say for sure that that’s me.”

The man frowned at him. “It’s quite obviously you. Are you saying you weren’t involved in a riot in the great apes enclosure earlier this morning?”

Crowley schooled his face in the epitome of innocence. “I certainly was not! This is harassment. Also, are you really certain that the bird is missing? I mean, have you done a thorough beak count? Must take a while…”  

His phone binged, then binged again, then binged several more times. He sighed and ignored it for the moment. 

The administrator handed him back the zoo membership card that he’d scavenged out of thin air a few minutes earlier, which somehow had come up linked to Aziraphale’s <i>actual</i> lifetime membership account. He turned the laptop back towards himself, typed in a few keystrokes, and then hit enter decisively.

“Your zoo membership has been terminated, immediately. If you are ever noted here again, we will take legal action. And you can be expecting to hear from our lawyers about compensation for damages.”

“Well that seems unnecessarily harsh,” Crowley said. “And now if you don’t mind, I’ll be going.”

He stalked out of the office, doing the best to keep his dignity intact as the administrator continued to glare at him. He waved a hand behind him to muddle the administrator’s plans about compensation. He certainly wasn’t letting his angel get a large bill for a bird, or for emotional trauma to a bunch of primates. Aziraphale would discorporate.  

His phone binged several more times on the way to the car.

On my way home, he texted. Hang on. 

Love you, he added a moment later, just to be safe.

 ++

Aziraphale was anxiously waiting for him when he came in the front door about an hour later.

“Well,” Crowley said huffily as he stalked into the shop. “We aren’t going to the London Zoo ever again.”

Aziraphale watched as Crowley took a moment to empty one pocket of his keys and ran a hand through his already-rumpled hair.  

“And why is that?” the angel finally asked, when no more information seemed to be forthcoming.

Crowley whirled to face him. “Because we aren’t allowed!” he cried. “Can you believe that? They banned us. Banned you too. Whole lifetime membership, just gone. Poof.”

Aziraphale frowned. “May I ask why?”

“Oh, you know,” Crowley said vaguely. “Shenanigans.”  He looked around. “How is Frederick?”

“Rather full,” Aziraphale said dryly. “And sleepy. I don’t think he appreciated getting transferred over here mid-meal.”

“He’s lucky that’s all he got,” Crowley said. “Wine? I need wine.” Aziraphale nodded, and the demon went to the kitchen and came back with a bottle and two glasses.

“So,” Aziraphale said, sitting down and folding his hands in his lap in a show of patience, “I’d rather like to hear the whole story.”

Crowley sank down into the couch, his body bent in ways that didn’t seem either natural or comfortable.  “The day started well! He liked the otters, and the penguins, and he was really confused by the elephants. We had a bit of a problem in the gorilla exhibit – forgot they were deathly afraid of snakes, almost caused a riot when they noticed him.”

Aziraphale widened his eyes. “Oh my.”

“And then I made the mistake of taking him in the tropical bird house.”

“Really, my dear, do you think that was a good decision?” Aziraphale asked sharply.

“Well in retrospect, clearly not, but I thought I could keep a handle on him.” He paused and cleared his throat nervously. “He, uh, got away from me while I was looking at plants.”

Aziraphale nods. “Ah.”

The word ah, said correctly, could speak volumes, Crowley thought. Funny how one little syllable could convey so much disapproval, or disappointment, or dismay.  All the dis- words, he thought forlornly. There weren’t any good ones that he could think of, when they were pointed his way.

“And… well, you know the rest,” he said, resigned. “He helped himself to a snack.  Ate a bird, tiny really – you’d never miss it. Except it turns out they’re considered vulnerable, this particular bird, and they’ve been breeding them special and sending them out to zoos to live out their stupid little lives in a protected environment and it’s not such a good thing when you bring your pet snake in and let them eat one.” He looked up beseechingly at Aziraphale with his best don’t-be-mad expression. “I mean, how was I supposed to know that?”

Aziraphale stared at him, dumbfounded. “I would think,” he said rather hotly, “that any reasonable adult might intuit that from the available information.”

“When have I ever claimed to be a reasonable adult?”

Aziraphale cocked one side of his mouth up in amusement, but still looked rather cross.

“And it would’ve just blown over,” Crowley continued, “but this pair of kids showed up with their mom and saw what was happening, and the mom started screaming and suddenly there were guards and everything just went south fast.”

“So,” Aziraphale said, “you’re saying it all would’ve been fine if it weren’t for those meddling kids.”

“Pretty much,” Crowley agreed.

Aziraphale waited a beat to contemplate that.

“How” he said exasperatedly, “can someone so smart be so -- ?”

He gestured helplessly at Crowley, unable to find the right word.  

Crowley tried to figure out if he was supposed to fill in the adjective here, and decided he was not.

“Yeah, I’m aware,” he said, glumly. “So, how mad are you?”

“Not much,” Aziraphale said, aware that he probably should be moreso. “Frustrated, yes, and a bit annoyed about the membership – I like the zoo! I have a bench named after me there! -- but mostly I’m just relieved that it wasn’t worse. And I’m glad you got him home safely. Still, I’m not sure all these outings are a good idea, anymore.”

Crowley slumped back, exhausted. “I never thought I’d say this, but Frederick could put a demon to shame on the mischief scale. It’s impressive! How does so much chaos live in such a tiny little body? And how on earth did we manage to acquire the most poorly-behaved snake on the planet?”

“Oh, I’m mostly responsible for that,” Aziraphale said with a smile, thinking back on the pet shop. “They kept showing me sweet, lovely, docile little snakes when I was looking for my companion. One or two of them were quite spectacular! But I don’t know -- they just didn’t feel right. No one sparked with me until they brought this surly little monster out.”

“Something more interesting,” Crowley said.

“Yeah,” Aziraphale agreed. “He actually bit me when I first handled him! But then he looked so sorry and ashamed. I could tell he didn’t truly mean any harm. My heart just melted.”

“Reminded you of someone?”

Aziraphale gave him a bright and shining grin. “I don’t know what you could mean.”

“Liar,” Crowley said softly, smiling.

“Let’s get dinner,” Aziraphale said, standing up and holding out a hand, “and then we’ll have a talk with Frederick about boundaries and behavior.”

“There’s really no point trying to parent him, angel,” Crowley said. “He’s a snake.”

“He’s a young snake,” Aziraphale corrected, “and not an ordinary one. I think he’s therefore prone to some angelic influence.”

“Good luck with that,” Crowley said, before taking the offered hand. “Certainly couldn’t go any worse than our attempts to influence the antichrist.”

The angel cast one last look around the shop and then they stepped out into the late afternoon chill to find a cozy dinner spot.

  In his cage, Frederick dug down into his bedding and prepared to sleep, after having eavesdropped on most of that conversation. If they thought they were going to tame him, he thought, they had a rude awakening coming. Never mind that he loved nothing quite as much as curling up with his fluffy owner’s pocket and being read to and hand fed snacks – he was a force of nature, wild and free. He drifted off to sleep full of ideas about ruling over the gorillas of the zoo, who would tremble before him and bring him delectable morsels in tribute, all to please and calm their vengeful snake overlord.

It was the most lovely dream he’d ever had. 

[elven-oracle]

the siren, act ii: tranquility |p.p. / part 8|

[part one] [part two] [part three] [part four] [part five] [part six] [part seven] [part nine]

‘the siren’ trilogy masterlist

moodboard credit goes to @astral-parker

to see other amazing moodboards:

by @starksparker click here

by @harryrholland click here

to listen to the playlist inspired by this series go here

SUMMARY: A month after adapting to human life and being accepted into Midtown School of Science and Technology, Lena “the Siren” Potts starts attending school with Peter Parker. As love and family start to pour into her life, a mysterious force lurks in the background, threatening the wellbeing of both herself and all the people she loves…

PAIRING: Peter Parker x Siren!OC

WORD COUNT: 2.1k

“Good afternoon, Mr. Parker, we apologize for taking you out of class, but as you know, we are doing this with everyone who was absent from classes after the incident,” across from Peter sat his principal, and in the corner stood two men, both in suits. Peter silently replayed the story he and Lena had developed that morning, filling the time with a deep inhale.

“Yeah, of course, Mr. Morita,” he curled in his lips, smiling without his eyes. He had to make a conscious effort to not clench his teeth. It was odd how he could fight crime, but a scenario like this had him more nervous than he cared to admit.

“Were you in the cafeteria during the incident?” Mr. Morita was reading the questions off of a piece of paper sitting in front of him. These questions were not developed by the school, and everyone was being asked the same thing. Peter flicked his eyes back to his Principal’s.

“Mr. Stark needed his niece and me to come back to the Avenger’s compound upstate, he had his driver come pick us up right before our lunch period.”

“Oh!” Mr. Morita looked pleased, “So the two of you were not present?”

“We will need to see the record of them being signed out of school as well as parental confirmation that this is the case,” one of the suited men spoke up.

Peter’s heart rate picked up, but he continued on, “You won’t find it,” their heads snapped to him, and he realized how suspicious that sounded, “Because Mr. Stark said it was urgent, and that he would take care of it later.”

“Is that her father?” the other man spoke up.

“No. Her uncle. Legal guardian. You know...Tony Stark?” Peter was surprised that they hadn’t pieced this together yet. It wasn’t breaking news that Lena went to Midtown.

The men were trying to mask their shock, but Peter saw one of their eyebrows twitch. Whoever these men were, they weren’t keeping their composure very well, but Peter knew how to work those in authority. He interacted with them as Spider-Man almost every time there was crime to fight. They were usually unappreciative of him and Lena’s work, so their exchanges were routinely snarky comments and getting out of their way.

“Lena Potts is Tony Stark’s niece and one of our most distinguished students,” Mr. Morita finally took control of the conversation, “Okay, so yourself and Miss Potts left at approximately…”

“11:45,” Peter finished for him.

“And what do you know of the incident?”

“All I know is what my friend Ned told me and what I’ve seen on the news. The guy that Spider-Man and the Siren fought the other day broke and entered into the school, scared a bunch of kids, and then the two superheroes showed up and led him to the football field. Iron Man then came I think and the guy surrendered,” he kept his language casual, not using the technicalities that he was used to going into detail with.

“That would be correct. Do you have any suspicions as to why he might have targeted the school?”

Peter did. Somehow, whoever this guy worked for had caught wind of where he or Lena went to school. It was no coincidence that less than 24 hours later, the man that had been demanding for them to brawl him had attacked Midtown Tech. Mr. Stark had to be starting an investigation, but he hadn’t heard from him since their argument on the football field. Naturally, he lied to his principal.

“No. I’m not really a...fan of getting involved in all that stuff.”

“Aren’t you Tony Stark’s intern? Wouldn’t that provide some sort of...curiosity?”

Peter inhaled, “I guess it should...but I’m a computer science intern...I just do tech stuff. Not crime fighting,” he smiled halfway again, hoping his lies were buyable. He wasn’t the best actor, and he hated lying, but it came with the job.

“Of course,” Mr. Morita was smiling genuinely, hopefully believing every word Peter said. The men in the corner, while he was avoiding even glancing in their general direction, had negative energy radiating off of them. They were most likely staring Peter down, second guessing it all. Peter exhaled and tried to cover up the anxiety that they were forcing onto him.

“Thank you for your time, Mr. Parker, you can head back to class.”

He didn’t leave too quickly. Calmly, he kept his eye on his bag as he picked it up off the floor in front of him and swung it across his shoulders, smiling at both the men and Mr. Morita before making his way to the door. It took a couple paces before he let out a sigh of relief, letting his shoulder collide with a locker to his right.

He sat back down in his math class, Lena sitting diagonally to his right. She was furiously taking notes as Ms. Minor did practice problems on the whiteboard. She excelled at math, so she really had no need for the notes, but the anxiety of potentially getting anything wrong was what drove her to copy everything their teacher was writing. He could slightly feel the intensity of her blood as it pumped through her veins.

How did it go? She asked him inside of his head.

There were two men there that were suspicious of everything I was saying, but that’s their job.

I can try and get a read on them when they ask me to answer questions.

“Could we borrow Lena Potts, please?” Mr. Morita had entered the open door and was smiling politely.

Lena placed her pencil on her notebook and stood, flattening the white linen pants she wore that day. She shrugged her braids off her shoulders so that they rhythmically hit her back as she walked out of the room, and Peter tried to ignore the twinge of jealousy when he noticed that most of everyone’s eyes were following her, some for a little too long. After a few moments, when she had to be a few feet away from the room, he felt Lena silently chuckle at him, and his cheeks turned bright red.

…

Lunch the day after had an entirely different energy. About half of the kids who were at lunch in the cafeteria were there. Lena had quietly told him that the fear that the Arsonist had caused would stay with them for a while, and many of them would never return to the lunchroom. MJ, Ned, Lena, and himself took up their usual four seats, eating almost silently. So much had happened in the recent few days that no one knew where to begin with a conversation.  

“Are you guys planning on going to prom?” Peter brought up a light subject in hopes that it would spark better conversation.

MJ and Ned exchanged looks, Lena kept staring at her food, hardly eating it, just tossing it around the bowl with her fork.

“I think I might ask Betty,” Ned piped up, smiling a little before eating another french fry.

“Betty Brant? To prom?” Peter felt a bit of happiness for his friend grow inside him. “That’s awesome, dude.”

Peter knew that Ned had always had a thing for Betty, but Ned was never the type to make the first move. He talked about it but never followed through. He hoped that this would be a big step for his friend in growing his confidence. It was slightly saddening to see Ned avoid romance because he didn’t feel as if he deserved it.

“Prom sounds lame, but if I know you losers, then I’ll probably be going,” she didn’t look up from the notebook she was sketching in.  Of course, MJ would give off an air of distaste. Peter knew that she wanted to go, but pretended as if it was the opposite of the case.

When he looked over at Lena, she was intensely staring at the other girl, most likely trying to get a read on her. He had no idea what could be so important that she was sifting through MJ’s mind, but Lena had been reacting to the things MJ had been saying interestingly. He made a mental note to ask her about it when they were on patrol later.

“Well Lena and I are going together,” he said it like it was any normal thing, but Ned’s head snapped up and his fist banged on the table.

“Finally!” Ned exclaimed, “I mean, yeah! Yeah, that’s cool guys.”

MJ snickered, “About time.”

…

Patrol was quiet. He looked at Lena on the rooftop of some building, her ponytail wavering slightly in the wind. She was listening to the police’s radio com channel. He had seen her studying them in her free time so that they could get to crime before the police and hopefully solve the situation before it got worse. Lena was still rusty with the codes, but she had told him she enjoyed learning them.

“It is rather quiet,” she said softly, staring off into the distance, “And the crimes that are happening are closer to the police force than they are to us.”

Peter let his mind wander, and sat on the edge of the building, his feet dangling off the edge. Lena joined him, letting her head fall onto his shoulder. It was quiet nights like these that had been horribly awkward for them when their relationship was dwindling. Lena would sit and use her AI to do homework, while Peter would eat a sandwich and pretend to keep himself busy. In all actuality, he was wishing he could say something to mend the distance they had created. Now they were closer than they had ever been before.

“How did your interview with Morita go?” Peter inquired, pushing through the silence.

She sighed, “It went smoothly, I stuck to the story. The men were trying to question literally everything I was saying. It was...what is that ‘I’ word?”

Peter shuffled through negative adjectives that started with the letter, “Irritating?”

“Yes. It was irritating. I was lying. But I had a reason to lie. It was not because I had anything to do with the Arsonist.”

“We got an identity to protect.”

“We do. Other than that, I found out they were detectives from the NYPD. They were desperate to find out where Tony is keeping the villain.”

“Mr. Stark will never give that information up.”

They stayed silent for another minute or two when the other topic that Peter had on his mind drifted into his memory. He was hesitant to ask for a moment, and then decided it would be best to keep it inside their heads. Peter had learned that some things, even the simplest of things, were better left unsaid.

Can I ask you something? He felt his heartbeat pick up, oddly. There wasn’t much to be nervous about going into this conversation.

Of course.

Why have you been studying MJ so intensely?

He could feel her clench her teeth on his shoulder, I think she knows about us.

Of course she does, we told her today-

No! No, I mean being Spider-Man and the Siren. I think she knows.

Peter didn’t respond, not knowing how. For a moment he felt that there should be no reason that MJ had found out their secret, but then Peter caught himself. That would be a serious underestimation of his friend’s intelligence. She was smart without effort, and Lena had described her mental stability as comparable to Mr. Stark’s, who was a child prodigy and considered a genius.

Should we tell her? Peter asked.

Not yet. I do not think so. I...I do not know.  There was a deep conflict hanging on her thoughts.

She flinched, sat up, clenching her hands into fists. She had heard something over the radio that had visibly upset her. Standing, she looked across the labyrinth of skyscrapers, searching for something. When Peter tried to look in her head to see what it was, he could feel that it was the equivalent to finding a needle in a haystack. He stood next to her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

What’s wrong?

She looked at him, We need to get to the Gotham Hotel as soon as possible.

He frowned, Lena, that’s maybe 20 minutes away-

10-56a, attempting suicide. That means someone is standing at the top of a building right now, waiting for a sign. We have to be that sign. She looked troubled and upset, but simultaneously determined. Let’s go.

M A S T E R L IS T

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