#the different ideas of what happened to him kinda caused them to drift

[movedtodykedvonte]

Addisons: he didn't change that much, whatever happened to him was bad, but surely not horrible?

Spamton: bitch, I forgot what it's like to feel touch, taste and heavens knows what else, what do ya think???

What do they actually think happened to him? If it's not a spoiler or wasn't mentioned before and I forgot, read a lot of fanfiction, tend to mix dome things up

It’s a mixed bag of what they think. 

Audi and Banner thought he was dead. Audi was in denial for a while, delusionally so (I HC the mannequin looks like Spamton for a reason..) but Banner was dismissive enough of Spamton’s rate of survival that it rubbed off, cause hoping and waiting was just hurting Audi more as the years went on with no notices. Banner pretty much believed something bad happened the moment he heard the garbage noise on the phone, they didn’t immediately believe he was dead but thought foul play was involved. The guilt that they didn’t stop it easier to deal with believing he was dead and not out there suffering.

Surv and Pop always had a hope he was alive. I will get into it but a part of Surv working primarily out of town for the most part comes from him believing they can’t find him in the city cause he left. He takes work in distance but not too far areas and has this underlying hope that he’d catch a shadow of his old companion that would lead to something. Pop always thought Spamton was out there surviving. He didn’t how or where but he knew Spamton was too scrappy to just keel over after his fall from the top. Pop worked like crazy to forget about it, she took jobs and just waited for him to come up. Spamton was a ghost in her mind but very much no dead in her heart.

Now that he’s back they just believe he was roughing it on his own the whole time. They don’t know he was a puppet or realize how bad he had it as a big shot yet cuz they never had a lot of contact when the calls got bad. Of course they heard rumors of him being a scammer on the street but they were too scared of them just being rumors to investigate. (they couldn’t keep getting their hopes up.)

[ihni]

Imagine, a charity auction - you know, those ones from the movies where people bid on another person and it's like a "date" or a picknick or whatever. I'm not sure about the setting or the story behind it (school? basketball fundraiser? country club stuff?), but Steve goes there (is dragged there, perhaps) and he's Over It already and thinks it's stupd, but he's got money and it's for charity so whatever, he figures he'll do his duty and bid on someone and maybe have a meal and exhange awkward small talk with whoever, and then go home.

Anyway, to his great surprise, Billy Hargrove is one of the people who have agreed to be auctioned off for charity (unknown to Steve is that the charity is for abused kids or animals, and Billy feels Strongly about that, okay?). And like, he's wearing a good shirt, unbuttoned to his chest, and tight jeans and he's smiling with white teeth and his hair is perfect and Steve hates him suddenly, is filled with rage about this guy, his bully, standing there and smiling and thinking he's gonna bring in a lot of money and probably, like, score with whoever buys him.

And the announcer must know that Billy will bring in the most money, because she saves him for last, and when she presents him she wags her eyebrows and says that whoever buys Billy will have him all to herself, for the whole evening, and that he's up for almost anything and like, Steve wants to throw up a little.

But then an idea hits him and he thinks, what better way for payback than to bid on Billy? If he wins, Billy will be his for the whole evening; he can make Billy do whatever he wants - like rearrange the garage or clean the upstairs bathroom with a toothbrush. Or maybe, just maybe, he can demand an apology for that time when the guy gave him a concussion - he doubts that it'll be sincere, but just the possibility of watching Billy Hargrove growl out an apology, however insincere, is enough to have Steve's heart speed up.

Okay, so the most likely thing to happen is that Billy will laugh in his face and refuse to do anything Steve tells him to do, but at least if Steve wins, Billy won't be going home with any of the women here. Won't get laid, if that's what he's counting on. And honestly, even if Steve won't get to live out his petty revenge fantasies, it'll be worth it just to ruin the guy's plans for the night.

So Steve checks his wallet, and then waits until the bids are trailing off - they're already higher than for anyone else, and perhaps not so strangely, it's mostly adult women who have been bidding - and then he clears his throat and doubles the latest bid.

Everyone turn to look at him, but Steve only has eyes for Billy. His eyes are very blue in the light of the spotlight where he's standing, and wide as if startled. The smile has fallen off his face, but he quickly puts it back when people's attention drift back to him for his reaction.

The gavel falls, and Steve has just won Billy Hargrove for the rest of the day.

Now. What happens next? It could be a kind of pick-your-own-adventure kind of thing.

Romantic/fluffy: They are awkward at first, but they eat their food and Billy really IS kinda different like this, when it's just the two of them, and maybe Steve asks about why he even did this, and Billy lets slip that he really DID do it for the charity, that he doesn't care about the ladies but the CAUSE, and maybe he thanks Steve for the bid. Says that it will help a lot of kids/animals. And that thank you startles Steve, because who knew that Billy could be polite, huh? Human, almost. So he doesn't go through with his plans of making Billy work for it, but instead they just hang out for the rest of the night and like, they CLICK, you know? And in the end Steve confesses that he was GOING to make Billy do menial work as payback, and when Billy laughs and asks why he didn't, he just shrugs. "I don't know," he says. "This was ... better, I guess." And Billy looks down and then back up and licks his lips and nods, too. "It was good. Thanks. For not making me scrub your bathroom with a toothbrush." And they laugh, and then maybe they drink a little more and i don't know HOW but once they're both a little tipsy and interested and such, they kiss, too.

Angsty af: Billy 100% definitely expects the worst. He heard what the announcer said, too, and he's seen the leering way these women looks at him and he KNOWS it's a meat market, barely veiled prostitution, okay, so he knows what's expected of him by whoever wins. He's been psyching himself up for it - he's gonna sleep with whoever wins him, and he'll make it worth their while because while he won't enjoy it, it's what's expected of him and besides it's for a good cause and it means that he can somehow help kids/animals who are being abused so he'll just ... do it. But then STEVE is the winner, and Billy is so confused. Because he knows that Steve hates him, he's never made a secret out of that ... so why did he bid on Billy, when he has to know what kind of auction this is? (Spoiler alert, it's not REALLY that kind of auction, but of course Billy believes it is) Obviously it's payback, right? Right. So Billy squares his shoulders and figures he's gonna take this, too - if he can sleep with some old lady, then he can definitely stomach Steve and whatever the guy has in store for him (because at least Steve is a GUY, and also maybe possibly Billy might have had a tiiiiny crush on Steve since he rolled into town. Okay it's not so tiny. Okay it's still ongoing. Fuck). It's not gonna be like in his fantasies, maybe - Steve still hates him, after all - but he'll take what he can get. And so when they get somewhere alone and Steve starts making awkward smalltalk, maybe Billy is so set on what he's sure going to happen, that he decides to take the first step. Get it over with. Rip the bandaid off. So he turns so he's facing Steve and is like "Okay, so how do you wanna do this?" Steve looks confused and is like, "What?" Billy continues, powering through, "How do you want me? On my knees, or ...?" or maybe he just drops to his knees, to show that he's not gonna back out, he's not a pussy ... Cue a very confused and appalled Steve, but not for the reasons Billy probably thinks. Bad continuation; Steve goes with it, because hell, how many chances are he going to get to shut Billy up this way? Less bad continuation; Steve is horrified and pulls him to his feet again and they talk and clear the air. Billy being like "... but I thought you bid on me for payback" and Steve's like "Yeah, I was gonna make you clean my bathroom, you idiot!" (and Billy's like "... I'd rather suck your dick.")

Somewhere in between the two: Steve DOES go through with making Billy do menial work at his house as a means of payback. And Billy knows that he doesn't have to do it, that he can just up and leave, but he figures a) he kinda owes it to the guy for breaking his face that one time and also b) it's for charity and Steve DID shell out a lot for his payback so Billy will play along. So he rearranges Steve's garage, with dusty heavy boxes and stuff. He cleans the bathroom ... with a goddamn toothbrush, because apparently Steve is mentally eight years old. Steve, in turn, didn't expect Billy do ANY of the things he came up with, and is confused as to why Billy hasn't punched him in the face and left, yet. So he comes up with worse and worse things for Billy to do; hand-wash his dirty socks. Crawl in under the crawlspace under the house to remove old building material. Clean the drain under the sink. The whole time, he's expecting Billy to snap and just, stop. But he doesn't. So when Steve tells him to climb onto the roof and remove the bird's nest in the chimney and Billy's only reply is to ask for a ladder, Steve snaps (because that's dangerous, okay? he could DIE). "What the hell, Hargrove, why are you doing this??" "Doing what?" "Everything I say!" and then they shout a bit and it all ends with Billy saying that it's his way of saying sorry for what happned at the Byers' house, and Steve is stunned because he did NOT actually expect an pology. And of course Billy is embarrassed for not understanding that Steve didn't actually expect him to do all that stuff, and Steve feels like shit for making him do all that stuff when apparently the only reason why he did it was as a way of an apology. And by then it's pretty late so Steve offers for Billy to have a shower at his place and he'll get a late dinner started (they never even got to the eating part, since Steve didn't think Billy would even stay around for the FIRST task). And they have a late dinner together. And talk, like two civil people. And actually learn a bit about each other, after that.

(I'm sure there are like 20x more events that could happen, too. I just like the charity auction plot and I want like ALL the variations.)

Thoughts?

[stephaniebrownslover]

Guys I have an idea.

What if I made Jeff The Killer like BoJack Horseman???

Guys don't leave please guysssssss it's so dark hereeeee

Okay now that I think about it, I'll ramble about this a bit.

Either I'm on to something or on something.

Also BH characters as creepypasta characters random BoJack Horseman dialogues as Jeff under the line and how other pastas would react.

And the only Jeff portrait I like is @jeffthekillerzblog 's Jeff because he's like a real life :3

THEIR FIRST TWO LETTER IS SAME THEY'RE THE SAME

...

GUYSSSSSSS TOBY AS TODD JUST IMAGINE

Lol just kidding but I think Toby and Todd would actually get along. Like they would just chill around and build random shit and talk about nonsense stuff. Their silly goofy traits are kinda similar so they would understand each other most of the time. Great minds think alike.

Okay okay let's talk about Jeff Horseman stuff before drifting away the topic.

First of, I think BoJack Horseman is not a character do defend. Yes, he tries to fix his mistakes but it was too late for him. He needed to change before all the shit happened. He needed to go to rehab or therapy before.

I'm not saying it's all his fault but just look at Diane. She had her own trauma and even though she was feeling bad most of the time, she wanted to get better. She worked for it in time instead of BoJack.

Yes, BoJack is a traumatized character but Todd was right about "You can't keep doing shitty thing and then feel bad about it!" because BoJack did this always.

Now back to Jeff. He has a similar trait with BoJack. I think Jeff has BPD most likely and he has serious anger issues. That's not a good mix as you can guess. It causes him to make mistakes and hurt people he actually gives a shit about and even though this makes him feel bad later, he won't do anything about it.

He wants to change, he wants to apologize from Jane and Nina and Liu. He wants to be a better person. He hates this life he build but he's been in this hell so long that he doesn't know a way out. He thinks it's too late for him and for treatment after all the people he killed and hurt.

Just like BoJack but in a different way.

BoJack hurts people close to him mentally and Jeff hurts people close to him both mentally and physically.

They both doesn't want to live their life and they would rather be like anyone else does.

They would hate each other if they met because they would see the other as a mirror. Or something like they could be in an another universe. And this would scare them as hell.

Jeff might be a surface character but I think that's because of his creator portrays him. I have like/hate relationship with him because of how badly he portrayed in almost every work.

He was not a pure evil monster, he was a 13 year old kid with untreated mental issues and body trauma. And no one was there to teach him this was not right since this motherfucker is very stubborn and he killed everyone who could.

Both of them doesn't want to die no matter how shitty their life can became. They want to live. They want to see the next day even though they would hate it. They think they deserve to live after all the things they had gone through.

They want to believe that they have a chance for redemption without caring about their past mistakes.

Also if Jeff would be an animal, he thinks he would be a wolf but he'd actually be a horse. That's like his spirit animal.

Take random BoJack dialogues as Jeff and other pastas' reactions to that.

...

Jeff: Rehab was supposed to be a fresh start. But no matter how many starts I get, there's always the same ending. Everything falls apart, and I end up alone.

Clockwork: Then get a new life man, this shit is not that hard.

Jeff: Shut up bitch! I'm having a moment here!

...

Jeff: Same thing that always happens. You didn't know me. Then you fell in love with me. And now you know me.

Nina: Eat shit and die asshole. You ruined my life.

Jeff: Fucking let me apologize whore!

Nina: Okay. I'm gonna kill this bastard. Don't hold me!

Kate: No one's holding you.

Nina: I said don't hold me!

...

Jeff: I'm the one who has suffered the most because of the actions of Jeffrey Woods.

Jane: What about Liu or Nina or even me?

Jeff: Nah, Liu's fine and he hates you.

Liu: No, I don't.

Jeff: He doesn't know what he's saying. And Nina loooves me.

Nina: No I don't!

Jeff: She's high on my awesomeness.

Jane: Shup the fuck up you dumbass.

...

Jeff: There's gonna be plenty of people around when I kill myself!

Masky: Not me.

Hoodie: Nah, I'll be there to celebrate.

Jeff: I hate all of you.

...

Jeff: Really makes you think, though, huh? Life, right? Goes by, stuff happens. Then you die.

Toby: W-who the hell are you?

Jeff: Yeah, you're right.

Toby: I am?

Jeff: Nah.

Toby: Of cour-se I am.

Who wants part 2 for incorrect quotes??

[pigeonwhumps]

Battle

Taglist: @painful-pooch @i-eat-worlds @a-funeral-romance @rainydaywhump

Angstpril: alt prompt 1: troubled mind

Inspired by these two prompts by @hurtmyfavsthanks and an anon ask she received. I saw the more recent one and just wrote this straight up within a couple of hours, unable to resist it.

1k

CWs: living weapon, outcast whumpee, magical whumpee, low self-esteem, betrayal kinda, mentions of battle and casualties, mentioned past discrimination

Whumpee doesn't remember much of the battle.

It went by in a haze. They remember red, people falling, screams, unsure which side they were on. They remember the glee, the euphoria, of using their magic. The high of it all.

Now they're starting to come down from that high, and they can see the fear in people's eyes. The injuries, the casualties. Vaguely, they wonder who caused them. Was it them again?

Hands cup their face, gentle, calloused. The only ones that will ever touch them anymore.

Caretaker's.

"Hey. Look at me, now. Not the camp. Me." Whumpee looks up hesitantly, into their loving, warm eyes. One day they'll change. One day... one day they'll harden. Fear, hatred. From all the people they've hurt, on all sides. One day it'll be too much. They're afraid of the day they'll see that, of what will happen then.

But it hasn't happened yet.

Caretaker wipes their cheek softly. "It's okay. Come on, rest. Lay your head down. You're done for today. Close your eyes and rest."

Whumpee crawls into Caretaker's lap. They vaguely register being carried, head being lifted until it meets Caretaker's neck. Whumpee nuzzles into it.

"Shh. You did so well. You're doing so well, Whumpee. I'm proud of you."

Whumpee doesn't want to be. They want to grow flowers. But this is what their magic likes, this is what their king likes, this is what makes Caretaker say those words of praise in just that voice, so they can't stop.

(They ignore the small voice in their head that says that they have no idea what Caretaker's reaction to flowers would be. This is exhilarating, even if they feel an ever-growing bubble of shame at the endless, ruthless violence.)

Caretaker runs a hand through their hair, combing out the knots from the day's work, using a little water to clean the worst of the blood. Whumpee has been through this so many times that they know what to expect without even a glance. He won't hurt them with those eyes. They know his expression, his feelings, and they curl their arms and legs closer around him.

He's so warm.

"S'okay buddy. I'm here."

"Hmm."

Whumpee closes their eyes. It's so... so... they don't think they can sleep yet but they find themself drifting on the exhaustion the magical high always brings.

_

The next morning is... the next morning. As it always is with a new squad, it is very different to the first one.

And as it always is, Whumpee feels a sharp stab of hurt.

The soldiers know who they are, what they are. Have done since the very beginning .They've worked with Whumpee on the preparations, the journey here, for weeks. They know them. Sat around the campfire, shared meals, joked and talked and laughed. They'd been wished good luck yesterday morning, hair ruffled, smiles and reassurances in abundance. Soldier had even fixed their horse's saddle after the straps started to break. Now...

Now, they won't come within arms length of them. Soldier ladles out breakfast to the rest, leaving an empty bowl several feet from Whumpee, not looking them in the eye as he leaves them to fetch their own. He flinches along with several others as they approach the campfire, more whose hands jerk towards their swords. As if they're going to attack. As if they're so out of control that they'd attack their own side on purpose.

They reluctantly let go of Caretaker's hand so he can fetch their breakfast and the healing potion alone. At least he looks them in the eye. At least he sits with them, and talks, and touches them. Helps convince them to take the potion, even though it's bitter and rancid and no-one will improve it for the likes of them, and they won't need it once the adrenaline and euphoria of tomorrow's battle kicks in.

The kindness is only for now. It will change, sooner or later.

Nobody helps the pair of them take down their tent, or pack their saddlebags, and the Sergeant looks about to stop Whumpee from replacing the emergency set of daggers they carry in their boots at all times. A gift from Caretaker.

It's like they have the plague. Or the Devil's Touch, as their old villagers used to say.

They're pretty much alone in the clearing now, the rest of the squad staying as far away as they can without letting Whumpee out of their sight. Just in case they explode or something.

Without a word, Whumpee settles down on the ground beside the smoldering fire, Caretaker sitting on the log behind them. It's a sharply cold morning, dew dampening their breeches, but their leather armour keeps them surprisingly warm.

Caretaker braids their hair quickly and simply, just enough to keep it out of their face. Battlefields aren't the place for complicated hairstyles. Which is a shame, because Caretaker takes pride in that skill, and Whumpee delights in being allowed to display the results.

Whumpee dries their face with the cloth Caretaker hands them wordlessly. They need to get it together. It's not like it's the end of the world or anything. They try to summon the ease by which they sometimes prepare, the eagerness instead of dread that comes with a lot of battles.

It doesn't come. Today is a day for dread, then, and there's nothing they can do about it but pray for a miracle. And a break in the hatred and fear, the violence with which everyone rejects them.

They can't help thinking, though, that the amount of damage they've done, it's no wonder people want them locked away. They are a weapon, after all.

Yes. Definitely one of the bad days.

Caretaker's their handler. They try not to think about it but it's true. He's the only one who might see it, might offer them a brief reprieve. So they summon up all their courage.

"Please..."

Caretaker finishes the braid and kisses their temple. "I'm so sorry, Whumpee. I really am. But you need to do this. We need to do this. The kingdom needs you."

Whumpee nods. They don't blame Caretaker, not really. They need to win this war. And Whumpee needs to use their magic.

But gods do they wish they could stop.

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

APPARENTLY IT’S INTERNATIONAL FRIENDS DAY AND I JUST HAPPENED TO WRITE A LITTLE FICLET ABOUT MEI AND MK OFF OF AN IDEA I HAD ABOUT THEIR FRIENDSHIP there was more i kinda wanted to add cause it felt slightly off to me and I wasn’t going to post it, BUT HECK IT HAVE SOME BEST FRIENDS CONTENT HAPPY INTERNATIONAL FRIENDS DAY 

Hype Man

Mei didn’t think all that highly of herself for a dragon.

Her parents had tried to instill some of that pride in her, a dragon descendant of oceans, she had a tall standing heritage to be proud of, but it mainly just resulted in her feeling inadequate. Like she could never quite reach as amazing as every other one of her ancestors, all dragons. Something about her felt different, felt wrong. Her family came from the ocean, but Mei felt like she was burning from the inside out some days.

She couldn’t seem to connect with her family the way her parents did, some sort of disconnect there that led her to seek connection elsewhere. She started a bit of a gaming channel, didn’t ever show her face, just mostly chatted, looking for some form of connection. She bought bikes, dismantled them, built new bikes with the parts, she stared at her creations and couldn’t bring herself to show her parents, instead keeping them hidden away, because something so important to her couldn’t possibly be important to the family.

They left her alone for the most part. They were more involved when she was younger, but once she became a legal adult, they did seem to withdraw a bit. She figured they just didn’t want to seem overbearing, but their absences just seemed to make things seem more impossible.

Mei would show them things, talk about her accomplishments quietly at dinner, voice getting meeker and milder once she said them out loud. A couple thousand followers compared to a couple thousand dedicated warriors didn’t seem like much. A few races won compared to hundreds of battles won didn’t feel worth sharing, so she mostly let them talk. If they asked she would just say she was filling her time. Sometimes it felt better to say nothing at all than to mention gaming or racing.

Compared to all of her family, sometimes Mei felt like nothing at all.

Then she met Mk.

He was… silly. A little odd at first. Nothing at all like the tall white and jade pillars of home, or the endless empty hallways. Mk was loud. He was animated. He was waving his hands about and filled every second like a firework, like he could like he didn’t have a moment left to lose.

It was a contagious sort of energy. Mei had always felt a little too energetic herself compared to her composed, poised parents, still and calm in their movements; hopping from foot to foot in place when she was excited compared to their subtle nods of their heads. But next to Mk it felt natural to bounce around a bit, talk loud, laugh louder.

He was a little jumpy at first. Something she wasn’t sure she wanted to look too far into considering what it might’ve been, but after an initial stiffness Mk relaxed into contact like a cat soaking up the warmth of the sun. Throwing an arm over his shoulder became almost as easily as breathing.

If Mei didn’t know any better, she’d say he was a little touch starved, leaning into every shoulder bump after he was more comfortable around her, seeking her out for a hug even when he wouldn’t outright hug her first until later.

She made sure to maybe hug a little more than she usually would, just because it seemed to make him smile and a little giddy, and soon that too felt just as natural, and she couldn’t help the breathless grin when he slammed into her to initiate a hug for the first time. And from then on, hugging him, holding his hand, bumping into him, felt natural.

As comfortable as she was around Mk, Mei still didn’t talk about herself all that much. After all, what was a new drifting turn trick in a race compared to turning into an actual dragon?

She did eventually let something slip.

“Wait, you're a gamer?”

Mei halted and stared at him like a deer in headlights.

Mk backtracked immediately. “I mean--I know you, like, game, like pshh, yeah obviously, we’re literally in the arcade right now. But I meant more like, gaming like, consols, VR, all that fancy stuff, and like, streaming it, you said you had a livestream--I mean you might not even be a gamer, that could have been a different kind of livestream, which in that case, this is kinda awkward and now I’m going to apologize for assuming--”

“No no,” she waved her hands a bit, then stopped and let them drop. “It’s… uh… yeah it’s a gaming channel.”

Then the enormously unexpected. “That’s so cool.”

It was?

Mei blinked. He knew she was a dragon and thought… gaming was still cool?

“How many followers do you have?” He was looking at her so excitedly, she couldn’t exactly not tell him, but it still felt weird to say it aloud.

“Uh, I dunno, like… 80k… I think? Last time I checked?”

Mk gaped at her.

“I mean it’s a big city,” she felt the need to add. She knew so many channels with millions of followers, her’s honestly wasn’t that big in comparison. “Lots of people watch streamers, so it’s not… like a super high number but--”

Then he was shaking her, hands on her shoulders and pulling her back and forth. “80k? Mei that’s so freaking cool, that’s so many followers--ohmegosh wait, what if I follow you already?”

“Cool?” Mei stammered out.

“Um yeah!” He said it like the most obvious thing in the world. He was pulling out his phone that had a Monkey King charm hanging from it and an art piece decorating the back of the case. “What’s your channel? I wanna see if I’ve watched you before.”

He had, as it turned out, been subscribed to her channel for around two years.

“Mei,” he whined, clinging to her arm.

“What,” she laughed for the twelfth time.

“Mei you don’t understand, you’re so good at video games. You’re so funny and clever, you’re so cool, how do I know such a cool person. How is this legal? How am I meant to survive?”

It made her laugh hard enough her face turned a little red.

“I’m not that cool,” she told him fondly as she got on her bike.

“YOU DRIVE A MOTORCYCLE?”

“Um…” she glanced down at her helmet, then back up at him. “Yes?”

He grabbed her face and bonked their foreheads together, squishing her cheeks. “Mei, I need you to be real with me for a second.”

“O-okay?” she managed to say, voice a little muffled by the way her face was being squished.

“I need you to tell me you didn’t build this.”

She blinked.

He stared directly into her eyes.

“Um…”

Then he was back to shaking her. “Mei. Mei you don’t understand, how are you this cool?”

“It’s just a bike--” she tried to say.

“Just the coolest looking bike I’ve ever seen,” Mk said, even louder.

“Okay, okay,” she laughed, pulling her face out of his hands. There was a heat to her cheeks and a warmth to core of her chest. She looked away. “Okay, so it’s kinda cool.”

“Extremely cool,” he corrected.

“Extremely cool,” Mei amended. “I actually did some repairs this morning after yesterday’s race--”

She stopped short at the look on his face.

“What?”

Mk put his hands together in a praying motion, pressed them against his mouth, crouched down next to her bike, one leg stretched out, leaning back on the other and looked up at her.

Mei leaned away from him a little, nervously laughing. “What?”

He inhaled.

“BOI--”

“So, let me see if I got this all right,” he said after the bike ride to Pigsy’s noodles. His hair was a mess after wearing her helmet all the way there, sticking up in every direction, some of it smooshed against his head in odd shapes, and his cheeks still flushed from whooping so loudly and screaming at sharp turns. Mei nodded along, stirring the ice in her soda bought from the vending machine down the street with her straw. “You’re a dragon.”

“Correct.”

“Like a literal descendant of the Dragon of the West, a direct descendant of the White Horse Dragon in Journey to the West…”

“Yup,” Mei said, ending the word with a pop and then leaning down a bit to sip from her soda.

“You have a million subscribers--”

“Not a million yet.”

“A million subscribers,” he said again, stressing the words and widening his eyes, as though daring her to argue, then sat back in his seat, waving his hand and gesturing to himself. “Of which, yours truly is proud to be one.” He slammed his hands down on the table. “Which is for good reason since you’re one of the best gamers out there--”

“I’m not even in the top hundred, Mk.”

“Only because every other streamer shows their face which adds to the experience of watching them game.” He aggressively slurped up some noodles before continuing.

“Not only that but you’re a freaking racer. You race a bike which you built yourself.”

Mei hummed around her straw, looking away tapping her fingers on her phone lightly, a heat to her face.

“And on top of all that you destroy arcade games like you’re going for a walk in the park.” He finally slumped back in his seat. “Did I get all that?”

Mei tapped her staw against the edge of her cup and slurped up the bits of soda from the bottom of the straw. “Yup.”

He went limp as a noodle and slumped all the way down, sliding until she could only see his hair, his knees bumping into hers.

“You’re so cool, Mei,” he whined. “Why are you so cool? I’m like… I deliver noodles.”

She laughed and lightly bumped her leg against his. “Hey, delivering noodles is cool.”

“You built yourself a motorcycle,” he hissed back.

She found herself grinning. “Okay, so it is… pretty cool.”

He popped back up just so he could slam his hands down on the table again. “Extremely cool.”

“Extremely cool,” she grinned wider.

And that… was kinda how things went.

Mei did a new trick on her bike? Mk was there across the street in the empty stands yelling about how cool it looked.

Mei beat own high score on an arcade game? He was right there jumping up and down.

When Mei hit a million subscribers she was racing to Mk’s apartment above the noodle shop in the middle of the night to tell him about it before she could even think about how a million subscribers was nothing next to a million subjects in a kingdom, and Mk opened the window with his Monkey King themed pajamas and was awake in seconds to squeal with her.

Her ancestry was still a massive thing to try and live up to, and something that was still immensely important to her. And although her accomplishments now seemed like nothing compared to their great feats… every dragon started somewhere. And right now, winning that race was a big feat, because it was her feat. Something she did.

Even if she wasn’t a full fledged dragon, Mk was right there next to her to remind her of just how amazing she was.

[slytherinbangchan]

Inked Dreams (NCT Dream Tattoo Artist!Au) (M)

Chap 10 out of 10 -> First arc: Haechan&Chenle x female reader Second arc is Jisungie's arc!🐹 Let me know if you guys are interested~

>>Chap 1 here

Summary: A NCT Dream Tattooist!Au where the Dreamies are college's heartthrobs and most likely will steal your heart whenever you less expect it.

Inked Dreams Masterlist~

[My First and Last: Chap 10🐬]

The moment you cross the door all eyes are on you and Hyuck. “What?” He asks and Mark looks at you and then Chenle. They all have their phones in their hands so you automatically take yours out too and see a bunch of notifications. “Of course.” You say, then you scoff and put your phone away again. That girl posted Chenle's video on instagram with a very long text you don't really feel like reading.

Hyuck chuckles as he checks his phone and double taps on the post, making you chuckle too. “You should read it, babe. It's actually funny.” He tells you, dropping the cookie box on a table as you walk over to sit next to Chenle, who looks just as confused as the rest of the guys. “It's okay, he knows.” You say, ruffling Lele's hair, and everyone suddenly seem way more relaxed. Guess Chenle updated them about the whole thing just before you arrived. “Should we all like that post?” Jaemin asks and Mark chuckles. “No, but I think it's a good idea though?” He says. “Yeah, if we just go with it, people won't care for it as much as if we actually try to deny it.” Jisung adds and Jeno chuckles. “We? Are you part of the love triangle?” He asks, pulling some smiles from everyone. “Well, Jisung is Chenle's soulmate after all, isn't he?” You say and Jisung winks at you. “Okay, let's like the post.” Renjun agrees. “I'm kinda annoyed though you guys won't let me just tell that girl off. It's not the first time she does something problematic.” He sighs. “What do you mean?” You ask and the guys look at Hyuck and he looks at you, clearing his throat before talking. “Okay, y/n you remember that I told you people used to ask me to tattoo them but then cancel cause they only wanted an excuse to get to talk to me?” He asks and you nod. “Well, actually it was a bit more complicated than that.” He says, then his eyes drift to Mark's and he sits up on the couch. “Yeah, y/n, back when the tattoo thing happened, we found out that the girl who posted Chenle's video was paying those people to get info about Haechan.” Mark continues. “What??” You ask. “Yep, she has a lot of money apparently, she and her friend also looked completely different back then.” He says and you look at the guys and then at Hyuck. “But what did she want?” You ask and Renjun clicks his tongue. “Just Haechan I guess? She was obsessed with him in a very weird way.” He says and Hyuck sighs. “Yeah. Her friend kissed me at a party and I followed the kiss. She told the guys at the arcade that me ghosting her friend is the reason why she was mad at me, but she was pretty much a stalker even before her friend kissed me.” He explains. “Yeah, we actually thought her friend was just another person she paid to get closer to Haechan.” Mark adds and you feel terrible in almost every way possible. “I'm so sorry I introduced you to them again at the arcade.” You apologize but the guys brush it off. “Please, how could you have known? It's not your fault at all.” Jaemin says, and the others agree. “Y/n, at first not even I could recognize any of them. I only did when they started talking.” Hyuck says and the guys agree. “We only noticed after you guys left so...”

The doorbell rings, saving you all from talking anymore about that horrible person and most of the guys move to help getting the food from the delivery man.

You pout at Hyuck and he chuckles, then you walk towards him to hug. “I'm sorry that I made you talk to her earlier today too.” You say. You really feel bad. “I should have asked about her earlier.” You say as you pout, hanging from his neck and he chuckles. “What? It's fine, dummy.” He says, taking a lock of hair out of your face before pecking your lips. “I could have told you about the whole thing too the day we saw them at the arcade.” He says, pulling you closer with a hug. “Stop blaming yourself, okay?” He asks and you nod, still pouting, making him chuckle softly again before meeting your lips in a kiss.

-------------------------

“What did you order Jisungie?” You ask him, since it seems nobody is handing him his food yet. “Ah, I didn't order anything, I can't eat.” He says and Renjun chuckles. “You can have some ice cream Sung-ah.” He tells him, but Jisung pouts. “No way, after hyung nagged so much at me last night I'm not eating anything.” He says, a bit sulky, and Renjun laughs. “I just can't believe you did shots last night after getting a tongue piercing.” Jeno says, joining Junnie's laughter. “You got a piercing? That's why you've been talking kinda weird? Show me!” You say, but he's still sulking and that only makes Renjun want to bite him apparently. “Jisung-ah. I'm sorry that I nagged at you so much. I was worried about your tongue.” He says and Jaemin chuckles. “He was also sulking about something else last night and took it on you.” He says, casually playing with Junnie's ear and Renjun clicks his tongue, slapping Jaemin's hand away. But Jaemin smiles and pinch Jun's cheek, which makes Renjun frustratedly sigh. “Whatever. The thing is that I was only worried about you last night, but you should definitely eat something cold if you're hungry.” He explains.

You meet Chenle's eyes, who is now sitting in front of you as Renjun and the others keep talking, and realize that you haven't got the chance yet to check on him. But guess it's not the best time right now anyway. Everyone is settling down to finally eat. “Here.” Hyuckie says, handing you some chopsticks and a spoon before sitting next to you. “Thank you~” You smile at him, then you look at Chenle again who smiles at you after a second. Seeing his eye smile for the first time since that video was posted makes your heart jump in happiness. It's the first time too though that you see him so quiet around the guys.

He also seems kinda nervous everytime anyone asks him something, even if it's just to pass the soda or stuff like that, so you decide to wait and ask him when the guys are not around.

He's not finished eating while the guys clean up a bit so you move to sit next to him. “Hey...” You say. “Hi...” He answers, but you hear Hyuckie clearing his throat even before you can actually start a conversation, and you and Chenle look up to see him standing in front of you. You tilt your head confused and Hyuck chuckles softly. “Renjun is asking for you in the kitchen.” He says and you sigh. “Can't he wait?” You ask but Donghyuck shakes his head. “Nope, it sounded urgent.” He says, so you click your tongue and stand up to walk to the kitchen. “Hey, Hyuckie says you called me.” You tell Renjun and he looks at you a bit confused. “I didn't?” He says and now you're more confused than ever. “You didn't? None of you called me?” You check, just in case, and the guys shake their heads.

You walk back to the living room ready to nag at Hyuckie but you stop right before you enter the room. “So... You're not mad at me for not saying anything, hyung?” You hear Chenle ask, and your heart skips a beat. Hyuck clicks his tongue and playfully pulls Chenle towards him with his arm around his neck. “Of course not. I was just worried about my cute dongsaeng and had to check on him.” He says and you pout as your heart gets soft just watching them. Chenle scoffs as soon as he sees you and Hyuck laughs at your pout, releasing Chenle from his hug and inviting you to sit with them. “Agh, I was so ready to nag at you but you were here being all wholesome.” You say and the guys laugh. “Yeah, I'm sorry I tricked you baby, but I really wanted to talk to him alone for a minute.” Hyuck apologizes and you hug him. “Yeah it's fine.” You say. “Are you really okay though? You seemed pretty awkward at lunch.” You ask Chenle and he sighs. “Yeah... I mean, I do feel bad that hyung had to find out about my feelings for you cause of a revenge post instead of myself, but that's my fault too. I could have told him about my feelings getting real before any of this happened.” He says and Hyuck chuckles. “Yeah? Were you ready to talk to me about that, though?” He asks, making you chuckle too and Chenle scoffs after a second as he smiles. “I guess not. You were so fucking whipped... It was kinda scary just thinking about mentioning it.” He admits and you all chuckle. “Aw, you were whipped for me Hyuckie?” You ask, hugging him and he smiles and nods. “I still am.” He confesses before meeting your lips and Chenle rolls his eyes. “See? I thought he'd kill me if I said something. Or he'd try at least.” He says, making you both smile on the kiss.

“Can we come back to the living room now?” The guys ask and you all chuckle. “Yeah.” You say, then you look at Chenle. “Can we talk somewhere else then?” You ask as the guys come back. Chenle nods and Hyuckie lets go of the hug after pecking your lips so you can leave with Lele.

You sit outside in the balcony but regret it almost immediately as you can't even keep your eyes open under that extremely shiny sun, so you laugh at your stupid decision and go back inside and to Hyuckie's room.

You were feeling a bit nervous at first, but not anymore after the balcony moment. “You know, I thought you just wanted to talk, but turns out you wanted to kill me instead.” Chenle jokes and you laugh. “Damn, you were too quick to notice. I'll have to think of something else now.” You say and he chuckles, then you both just remain silent for a bit as you smile.

You sigh after a minute and hold his hand. Guess you got that habit from Hyuckie now. Chenle laces his fingers with yours and you bite your lower lip as you put your thoughts in order inside your head. “Are you really okay with that post?” You ask and he nods. “I was only worried about hyung's reaction since I had already talked to you, and I don't care at all about what people say so...” He explains and you agree. “I'm fine too as long as you two are okay.” You say, then stare at him for a second. “I'm... sorry too that I didn't know what to say earlier today when we first talked.” You apologize and he sighs. “It's okay y/n, I understand. Really.” He says. “I... kinda know what I want to tell you now though... Do you want to hear it?” You ask and he nods as he smiles softly. “Well... I love you.” You say and he chuckles cause he didn't expect that. “Probably not in the same way you may love me, but I do. And... I hate that I hurt you and that I can't fix it.” You say and he smiles kinda mischievously. “Yeah, I hate that too.” He says, squeezing your hand softly, and you pout.

He sighs and sweetely caresses your cheek with the back of his free hand. “I guess we grew closer than we originally thought we'd do, huh? But I'm happy that it happened that way.” He says and your heart flutters. “I think I do love you the same way you love me though, y/n. Me liking you in a romantic way has nothing to do with it... I'm sure I'll still love you even when I get over you. So don't say you don't love me the same way... Just that you love me, yeah?” He says, and you can't help the tears in your eyes. “Yeah.” You say, trying not to break down crying, but failing a little. Making him chuckle at your pout. “Such a crybaby.” He lovingly says, softly wiping the tears that fell down your cheek and you frown, making him laugh again. “I'm sorry.” He says, pulling you into a hug. “Thank you for loving me so much y/n.” He says and you grasp on his clothes as you squeeze him harder. “I love you just as much. I just can't cry at all.” He says, making you giggle. “Ah, that's fine.” You say, pulling away. “I'll cry for the both of us.” You say and he nods as he smiles before you pull him into another hug.

------------------------

Epilogue. “Is Jaemin asleep?” Hyuckie asks as you both walk across the living room. “Mhm~ sound asleep indeed.” Junnie distractedly says as he takes his eyes from his drawing for a moment to check a notification on his phone. “Okay, well, I'm gonna drive y/n home. I'll be back in a bit.” Hyuckie tells him and Renjun nods. “Bye Renjunnie~” You say, hugging him. “Bye~ Be careful yeah? It's late.”

You yawn as soon as you get in the car and Hyuck smiles. “Too many emotions today, huh?” He asks and you giggle. “Yeah, I'm exhausted.” You admit. “Mhm, make sure to get a lot of sleep tonight. Cause I'll be bothering you all day tomorrow.” He says, making you smile. “You better, cause I just know I'm gonna miss you so much tonight.” You say and he chuckles. “Then why are you even leaving? Stay. I don't want you to go? I couldn't even bring myself to start the car yet.” He says and you both chuckle. “Oh god, we're so fucking clingy.” You say. “Yeah!” He proudly says. “Okay, I'm staying then.” You say. “Of course you are!” He exclaims. “Oh, but wait. I want to ask you something before it slips my mind again.” He says and you nod. “So... Your birthday is close right? What would you like to do and is there something you want?” He asks and your heart flutters. “As a present?” You ask and he nods. “Well, duh... I want a tattoo.” You say and he chuckles. “Yeah, I thought so. I'll talk to Renjunnie then.” He says and you shake your head. “I want you to do it, dummy.” You say and he blushes. “Me?” He asks. “Of course, you idiot.” You say before pulling from his shirt to kiss him. “I love Renjun's work but what I really want right now is a tattoo from my cute, clingy boyfriend.” You say, making him chuckle. “If he's okay with it~” You sing and he nods as he smiles. “You can have all the tattoos you want from your silly, clingy boyfriend.” He says. “I never said silly.” You giggle. “That really is a dream come true though. I don't know how it never occurred to me before that dating a tattoo artist could mean infinite free tattoos.” You think out loud and he laughs. “Who said they'll be free?” He asks and you pout. “I'll take ten kisses per tattoo.” He says and you smile. “Just ten?” You ask. “You can always tip.” He wiggles his eyebrows and you giggle. “I sure will.” You say before meeting his lips. “Alright let's go back to the house, I want to smooch you properly.”

The lights are off in the living room as you enter the apartment, so you two just tiptoe your way to Hyuck's room just in case, not to wake up anyone. He pokes around his drawers for some comfy clothes for you while you wait, sitting on his bed. “Just give me whatever you wear to bed. If it doesn't smell like you I don't want it.” You say and he can't help a smile as he keeps looking for it. “Mhm~”

You check your phone for a moment and chuckle seeing how that girl had to delete her stupid post cause everyone was throwing hate at her. Guess the guys were right about liking her post.“Here.” Hyuckie says, handing you one of his shirts and you leave your phone aside again to change. “Thanks~” You say, then a thud coming from another room startles you, followed by some objects clattering and a moan. Your eyes look for Hyuckie's as you blush, but he's staring at the wall, pursing his lips, trying very hard not to smile. “Was that...” You ask and Hyuck bites his lower lip, still trying not to smile or laugh, as if he knew something you don't. But that was definitely Renjun's voice. “Is he... Alone..?” You ask, and Hyuck finally chuckles as you hear more moans and you blush even harder. He sighs then chuckles again. “No y/n, he's not.”

Chap 9.... Next Arc~

[randoauthor]

Puppy Love? (B.B)

Pairings: Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

Warnings: fluff, like super fluff, totally different from my last few stories

Word Count: 831

Author's Note: This is kinda based off my parents and my moms love for cows, granted my father would never let her get one.

Summary: Cows can be puppies right?

MasterList!

Things had always been prefect, but now they were even better.

How you were gonna hide this from your husband? You have no idea.

You didn't even know what is reaction was gonna be.

*7 years ago*

"I promise to never be mad at you, even when you are giving me attitude back." The crowd laughed at your now husbands vows. "I promise to believe that every decision you make is a good one, and I promise to love you like my parents loved each other. I promise to dance with you in the kitchen at midnight, take you on late night drives while we blast the music with the windows down. I promise you will always be my person, my home, the place I go to for comfort after a hard day." He smiled softly at me. "I promise to be your wingman. To always leave you in charge. Lastly, I promise never to be mad if you bring home a cow."

*Now*

Now that last part had meant a lot to you. Because once you and Bradley had found a lovely home in North Carolina, it was close enough to the base that travel wouldn't be too bad but far enough away that the city wasn't crowded with cocky sailors trying to get laid. You thought you would miss the city but that surprisingly never happened, you loved the land. You had a garden to grow veggies and fruits so you and Bradley always had some kind of organic homegrown something on the table, or in the fridge, or on the counter. You loved how private it is, the space between houses gave you and Bradley enough space to be as loud as you wanted without disrupting the neighbors.

And the best part?

While Bradley was away on a mission you took it upon yourself to take some of your savings and build a barn. A small barn, a three stall barn.

A barn big enough for two baby cows.

And today was the day you finally got them!!

So there you found yourself on the floor of your new barn, the hay flooring being laid just three days prior staring at two baby highland cows.

Who were unbelievably fluffy. And cute.

Hearing the distant sound of his classic bronco you feel your heartbeat pick up in your chest, its been so long since you two had seen each other yet when your husband steps out of his baby blue bronco he looks the same as he did on your wedding day.

His tan skin had once again been complimented by a bright colored Hawaiian shirt, Phoenix had texted you personally to tell you he had stopped on base to change, something about his khakis being to hard to get off in the heat of the moment which made you laugh.

Running to him you jump into his arms as he hold you with ease. Peppering his face with kisses he lets out a chuckle.

"Baby!" You say with a squeal, "I missed you!" you kissed him again.

"I missed you to my love!" He responded pulling away from the kiss, you watch nervously as his eyes drift to the large barn behind you.

"My love," he said slowly setting you down, "what did you do while I was gone?"

You eyes somehow meet the concrete drive way as his feet move to carry him closer to the barn.

"I got a puppy?" You say semiconvincingly.

"A puppy that needs a barn?" He shoots back with a smirk before pulling the barn door open to reveal the two very fluffy calfs.

"Baby," he turns around, "these are the biggest puppies I've ever seen." He lets out a chuckle causing you to sigh in relief.

He walks over and begins petting them which turns into a full blown, baby talking, cuddle shesh with two baby cows.

You giggle as you watch your husband lay on the hay floor with the two babies and pet them, taking turns between telling you how excited he was to have baby cows and telling the cows how excited he was to have them, the whole situation was very adorable to you.

"I can't believe we have cows," he stated again causing you to laugh.

"Yeah two cows with no names." You shot back playfully, watching as your husband put on his 'I'm thinking hold on' face.

"I've got it!" He sits up excitedly, "Puppy and Babe." He has the most matter-of-fact look on his face and you can't help but laugh.

"Bradley." You say in between giggles.

"Hmm?" He responds only paying half attention.

"I love you." You say taking in the whole scene.

"And I love these cows." He responds, causing you to half tackle him onto the floor as the two of you begin to play wrestle, getting dirty from the floor.

"I guess I love you too." He says kissing your nose, "but not as much as these cows."

Taglist!

@itscheybaby

@turningtoclown

@daryldixonstorm

@Dilfsandtherapy

@Nickie-amore

@malindacath

@luckyladycreator2

@sadpetalsstuff

@Shanimallina87

@Wishingwell-2

@Xoxoloverb

@Majormaybe1

@Mizzy-pop

@Saramaple

@Hope-love-equality2

@toothhurtyam

@beaner-life-23

@fogle97

@justanothermagicalsara

@tallrock35

@callsigns-roo-and-bag

@marchingicenotes7

@scoopsahoy008

@oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo

@malindacath

@calsjack

@notanordinaryprincess95

@fxngsfxgxrty

[julymarte]

Friendship

(you can find this pic without the walltext in the #meme redraw tag in my blog)

So the other day i made THIS post so i thought i'd share more information about their relationship

Taru might end up a lil in the shadow of her more popular friends but she really is the glue that keeps them together somehow, starting from the beginning...Taru and the twins pretty much grew up together they are more than just childhood friends they are almost relatives you know when you call the parents of your childhood friends uncle and aunt even if you are no way related? That thing. they are pretty much cousins- when they were children they were almost inseparable they almost spent more time together than with their siblings ( both the twins and taru have younger sisters, they also have a close bond). growing up the friendship with Nakir grew more than the one with Uri, they are still very good friends but other than gossiping and having some walks and chit chat around the market they don't do much else, with nakir instead they share the same 1 braincell if there's something dumb or risky be sure that they will team together and do it anyway for the thrill of it. Both Nakir and Taru did feel pretty sad when they had to be separated for 8 long years when she enrolled the Red Moon Academy(might do a post about the whole merc system one day let me know if you'd like to see it) and they most likely made other friends Nakir out and Taru inside of it but none as meaningful as what they have so upon their reunion it was an immediate decision to become teammates and work on missions and assignments together.

As for Pravaal...Him and Taru met for a very short time before she entered the academy but we need a little context here, mercenaries in the kingdom of moon are actually a lil bit different from what one may imagine while thinking about a regular merc, some of them have gathered quite the fortune and gained a title on par as nobility ... some are more on the fancy snob side others more on the military side...Taru's family on the part of her mother is one of them(on the military side), Pravaal is a noble sure but he has technically no ties with mercenaries aside from his runaway father most likely being one BUT a couple of merc nobility with ties with the academy offered to give him shelter after he reached out for help from the academy after fleeing from home when just a kid so, for a couple of years, they were eachother's only friendly face at those booooring adult meetings.Taru's sister seemed to enjoy them while both Taru and Pravaal used to spend their time making fun of the snobby rich elders and finding ways to prank them, he would be pretty shy about it back then but she wouldn't hesitate to take the lead on the mischief... they met again when she graduated and to her surprise he and Nakir knew eachother too cause they had been training together for the purple class, she did not expect them to have developped a rivalry tho XD (and of course she had no idea to what happened with Uri) It's just thanks to her that the three became a trio, one day Nakir and Pravaal were arguing on who would take a specific mission and she just proposed " why don't we go together" they reluctanctly accepted but it ended up being a big success, the chemisty of the party was a bit unstable at first but even tho Nakir and Pravaal deny it, they are a pretty good team. And after a good mission what's best than a niiiice celebration at the Twiin moons, they sure have become regulars at that (shady) pub and it's not rare to see them hand around there- but yeah good things don't always last, have you ever had that one friend that disappears after they get a special other? well this is kinda what happens here except their drifting away is not much cause they don't hang outtogether anymore but cause they LITTERALLY MOVE TO OTHER WORLDS, she of course has the means and will go see them but it's always kinda bittersweet

[purpleglitch]

Oh yes yes yes, I LOVE THAT. George making the spirit speech about Dream is AHHHH. And George being able to make the "destroying the dsmp" real is so fun, exactly what I was thinking.

BUT, I kinda said the mortal enemies thing about rivals just to throw it out there, but I too love them too much for that lmao. I was thinking about a friends to enemies to friends situation. I love the idea of rivals knowing each other before, being good friends that trust each other in tournaments and stuff. but techno gets kind of annoyed at dream when he finds out he's king. But, it's not much of a big deal right? he's barely imposing himself as a ruler, so it should be fiiine. It escaletes, maybe because of all the things techno has gone through, maybe he feels like dream could have helped him in some way, but because of his position he didn't. Then, they have a fight that ends in dreams first canon death, I feel that THAT's what triggers george the most to be like NOPE WE'RE NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE. After dream is heartbroken and runs away he might do a "healing arc" with techno, reconciling with him now that he's no longer king, but a the end he goes back to sapnap because ummm *points to fiances lore*, he kinda needs him. After, he finds out about George's imprisonment and asks techno for help. Techno just got his friend back and dream looks so tired and sad now, it's like the light in his eyes is nearly gone. He'll make dream happy again, he'll bring george back, even if he has to annoy geroge a little bit with his bell (HE NEEDS IT OKAY?)

ANON I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS ASK FOR DAYS IM MENTALLY GRABBING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS /POS

THE RS!RIVALS LORE GOES CRAZYYYY YOU'RE A GENIUS, ugh them being friends but became enemies because of the smp politics and after the dethronement dream finding comfort in an old friend and healing those wounds that drifted them apart (one being techno the cause of his first canon death) and dream doesn't hold a grudge about it but accepts techno's apologies too and THAT DEATH BEING ONE OF THE CAUSES THE DETHRONEMENT HAPPENED george being so protective over dream he was so upset he wanted to avenge him but dream didnt want them to hurt each other so when he respawned he begged george to move on and not do anything to techno and then there would be tension between them during prison because george still remembers that and techno just wants him to chill out and give him info so he can make the plan to escape together and both techno and george caring about dream in different ways omg,,, they bond over that, techno realizes george is so down bad for dream even after everything that happened and makes lighthearted jokes about that to make him fluster (ps. he'll be the best man at their wedding)

[kazooku]

Introducing Casey Windro, the time traveling menace!!

God Casey's been one of my favorite OCs ever since I made it back in January. I'm so glad that I can finally post about it now. It's also been kinda my punching bag lately oops. They're an MCU OC and the first of probably many. I'm also trying to figure out ways to insert Casey into other Marvel medias, but for now, they're MCU only.

Casey's whole gimmick is that they're a time traveler who can't change the past. It is a snap survivor. The snap happened when it was 10, and despite none of their family snapping they're two only friends did. Casey doesn't have the best relationship with its family, even from an early age. It's dad was constantly busy, and it's mom had an idea of what she wanted Casey to be and ignored them whenever they drifted from that idea, which was often. It's friends were their family, and that family was gone.

The 5 years that the snap lasted Casey retreated into itself. It didn't try to get close to anyone again because there was no point to it. The people they were close to disappeared into thin air, and the irrational voice in their head said it'll happen again if they did. In the middle of the snap, their great grandma died and left it her pocket watch. The watch was broken and had been broken for as long as Casey could remember, so they made it their mission to fix it.

They fixed it a month after the snap was reversed and with it unlocked time travel but with a cost. Casey could not change any major events. No matter how hard it tried, it couldn't stop the snap. It acted out. Causing chaos but impossible to leave lasting damage. It got on a certain spider's radar for that reason and possibly gained a new friend.

Casey is no longer close to the friends they once considered friends. They're 5 years older now. If asked it would say the Casey they knew died and they deserve better than the shell of their old self that they are.

Casey uses it/they and is a triple A battery (Aromantic, Asexual, and Agender) and a lesbian.

Running out of text space on Instagram and added more in comments so lemme just add those here

When it stops traveling back it needs to relearn consequences. They could do whatever they wanted in the past without a real effect. Now in the present they turn reckless and self destructive forgetting that there's no undoing what happens. They're rash impulsive. It takes a few good years in therapy to get these behaviors under control.

They stop time traveling mostly after a year. It doesn't completely stop but there's larger gaps in between. The people around them who know are getting them to see the damage they're doing to themself through this.

I'm being purposely vague here on the friendship between Casey and Peter but they are close. Starting off as mutual annoyances to inseparable.

Might talk about it more in another post but Casey actually dodges the spell in NWH. They get into an argument and Casey storms off into the past. When they come back and no one remembers him they're confused as hell. It takes them 2 months to track him down and break into his apartment.

Casey is autistic adhd like me lol. Can't write an OC without that oops. Anyways it has a special interest in crow bars. It's weird, it's strange, but they love them. Their favorite is a white one with hello kitty painted on it.

I have a design and plot for a timeskip Casey. I will draw them eventually and talk more there but!! It takes place when Casey is 20 and is them getting into shit with their college friends and occasionally dragging Peter along. They are an English major btw

Working on a Spiderverse Casey variant. So far the plan is the snap is never undone and while time traveling Casey gets frustrated and tells Peter he will die and he tells them yo take over. After failing to change the past they give in and become the new Spider-Man but going by a different name.

They start getting therapy at 17

It has fangs because pre snap friend dared it to file their teeth. It did. The fangs are sensitive to temperature.

Originally posted on May 23rd on Instagram

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

Ugh now i'm thinking.... what will happen when Lance, fucked up and irreversably changed, comes back to Earth? How would it feel for him to see his family and friends after everything hes been trough?

(if you can torture him then i might as well join the party)

(I am so sorry this is so late) Welcome aboard on langst train! Here we torture Lance as enrichment for both ourselves and our boy!

Ok i am going to be honest here, i dont really have much planned out for Lance as much as i had Kuron planned out. I do think that part of his spiral is because of differences grown between him and his family. Like i imagine this au taking place a few years after Allura "died" (yes it took years for Allura to like become alive, gather herself, gain back her strength, and search her way back home).

During that time Lance was with his family. And he's Happy! He finally got back to his family! He has achieved his dream! He even met his hero! So he should be happy or atleast at peace right?

Wrong! There is Allura's death he is mourning, he is dealing with trauma from war, he feels guilty and mourning Kuron's death, he feels aimless and directionless, he died, while his family is still alive i am pretty sure his home and earth is not in good shape.

And then there is his family. And at first glance it feels like everything is fine and dandy but as time goes on they realize that well things have changed, specifically they all have changed. Lance is more reserved, isolating himself, ticking all boxes of depression. Like it is still him but also practically a shell of himself. His family has changed too, they are clingier to him and each other while also being reserved themselves. But they are trying! Trying to be the people they used to be! Especially Lance who's acting like Nothing Happened at all!

All of them want to go Back To Way Things Were, but are too changed to do it. They all expect the other to be the same and that Lance returning would have fixed things except it did not. It really did not, if anything it kinda caused the drift to grow wider and wider.

While this is all going on Lance's powers are manifesting, and they start with growing sensitivity towards quintessence, mood swings, knowledge about things he shouldnt have, etc etc. And one day he just snaps and runs away, and no one has any idea where he is, and he is only found when Kuron is alive again (btw he went full fmab on his body, made the body from scratch, stole Kuron from Shiro's mind and succeeded, suck on that Elric bros) which results in his coma where he is actually in astral plane falling more into his powers and the horror and how it is changing him.

And the worst is he is both hating and loving it. To him he can finally do something, these powers can help him help others, right his wrongs, save others like he saved Kuron, so he just throws himself into learning more about it and about quintessence and actively choosing to let it change him more because than he will finally become something that needed for others since "Lance" was clearly not enough. But he also hates it because he just wants to go back to way things were, back to the way he used to be. And his powers are very affected by all this which further affect his mind so it is a downward spiral all the way down.

Also the powers are not good for him at all, or any humans for that matter. It is not exactly killing him anymore but it is not good for his sanity.

In short to answer your question, it will be bad, it will be so bad, no one in this house is coping at all, shit's hitting the roof my dude

[anthroparis]

What is your opinion on tti mclovin 🤨

I've spoken about the effect that dating nice, popular, sociable people has on relatively quiet, disliked people within the context of the other Big Ship I like and I think joner wrote out that experience SUPER well because it IS very isolating and depressing. I see michela as a character who probably has never felt like she belongs and goes to lengths to feel accepted when she ultimately has so much internal turmoil about her own self identity that it never works out regardless. I think she's someone who's lost a lot of herself to be liked by others, which makes her feel more alone than anything. the roller derby comment was pretty significant to her character because so far all of the skills she's displayed are things she only learned because her friends liked them and she forced herself to so she could fit in. whereas it's stated that mclovin and joner won't indulge in her interests in the same way and thus she downplays them a lot. it's pretty clear to me that she is someone who values close relationships A LOT, which is why (initially) max and julia not being good friends made her super bitter and aggressive. and I think that the background knowledge of mclovin not having had the emotional energy to BE a boyfriend and thus HAD to be absent from their relationship makes a lot of sense for why michela reacted so incredibly negatively to thinking that max didn't actually like her. I think that a lot of her insecurities about being abandoned are tied in with what happened between her and mclovin, too.

On the other hand I think that mclovin feels super stressed by all the people in his life relying on him for emotional support. like when he voted for himself rather than picking a side between ass and courtney? that was pretty significant. I also think he got along well will sha-mod because he never put a ton of weight and expectations on him. and it's relatively easy to believe that he did care for michela, at least as a friend, but couldn't be there for her because he's torn between so many different people and lives. I also kinda get the drift that he wasn't so much in love with her as he was of the idea of her or the idea of just dating in general, so their relationship was a little disappointing on both ends. I think he feels a lot of pressure to be nice and good to everyone because he is a naturally nice person, but that also makes him an indecisive pushover and forces him to put his values on the backburner to please others.

anyway. max is more compatible for michela cause he's the exact fucking opposite lol he doesn't care about ANYONE but her. I wrote a max analysis on tt takes so I'm not gonna rewrite it here but yes.

[variousqueerthings]

okok final thoughts about the movie after all that:

1. pleased to have watched it, despite my laundry list of criticisms

2. I didn’t think any of it was comedic in the gallows humour sense I assume it was going for. that may be an effect of ageing, but then, mash 1974- is frequently excellent at this, including and especially in its first seasons 

3. read that there was a subplot that happened after the movie has ho-jon getting conscripted by the south korean army (after which in the film we never see him again, and I think that was the most “oh, this isn’t my hawkeye” moment actually, because he kinda just goes “dammit” and then it cuts to something else, and that’s it), in which he’s killed and his body comes through the 4077th, and I think that would have been better in the context of what I think the movie wanted to do?

4. I do get a bit lost in the movie’s intentions, I confess. is it war is hell and so we become worse people? is it surreal antics in the face of serious conflict? is it related to the military really? is it that this is just what it was like? none of it really... slots into place for me, because there’s a bits that dispute every one of these, and mainly I guess I just don’t see what apparently a bunch of reviewers saw

5. the roger ebert review at the time: “There is something about war that inspires practical jokes and the heroes ... are inspired and utterly heartless ... We laugh,  ... because it is so true to the unadmitted sadist in all of us. There is perhaps nothing so exquisite as achieving ... sweet mental revenge against someone we hate with particular dedication. And it is the flat-out, poker-faced hatred in "M*A*S*H" that makes it work. ... We laugh, that we may not cry ... We can take the unusually high gore-level in "M*A*S*H" because it is originally part of the movie's logic. If the surgeons didn't have to face the daily list of maimed and mutilated bodies, none of the rest of their lives would make any sense ... One of the reasons "M*A*S*H" is so funny is that it's so desperate.”

6. I get confused about how a lot of the reviews discussed it in the context of war, when for me I felt like the Korean war was almost totally absent (in practicality as well as in feeling), apart from the occasional nuisance it caused the characters. maybe for its time it was very gory/very real/very desperate, but I don’t see it today -- the imdb also states that “the staff of a Korean War field hospital use humor and high jinks to keep their sanity in the face of the horror of war,” and I was just there wondering... what war? horrific to whom? and it’s not like war films in which war is very present hadn’t been made before this, but perhaps just not in really in America. the very idea of challenging the American military logic even a little may have been a breath of fresh air?

7. altman called the book racist and pretty terrible, but apparently the movie doesn’t deviate much from it, which is... interesting

8. I can see why this was a hit when it came out. I just feel such a visceral shudder at it watching it now, that it’s hard to even judge it on the merits of the time in which it came out

9. on that note, I am once again fascinated by the intentions going into the show. the pilot episode especially certainly has more movie DNA in it than the rest, but the casting immediately created different tensions, especially of course alan alda, but also wayne rogers, larry linville, and of course loretta swit. the fact that they’re setting up recurring characters also gives them more of a depth -- you know that things will happen and shift and change, whereas in the movie the point is the aimless drift from thing to thing

10. actually the aimless drifting + loudspeaker interludes were my favourite parts of the film -- my least favourite thing (structurally, otherwise it would be the misogyny) is the football match at the end, which was... odd. dull. if there was an absence of war before that, it totally disappeared for a substantial amount of runtime to just show this flipping football thing happening

11. how many of the hijinks from the movie/book were in the show -- I’m going to make a separate post for that

[fellow-traveller]

I have a fic idea that I probably won’t write about, but I don’t mind sharing it. It’s really long, so under the cut, if you’d like to read it. Also, canon-related au, HolPol and Part 5 spoilers(?).

We know that Polnareff was MIA circa mid-1990s, after his first fight with Diavolo that not even Jotaro knew where he was. And since he was labelled as MIA, that could have meant that the SPW Foundation didn’t found him after or that he never contacted the foundation about his condition (possibly not to alert Diavolo since he’s still in his turf), hence it might actually not be the group that nursed him back to health and gave him his prosthetics. So who did?

My idea: Hol Horse did. 

Being a drifter, a mercenary and an informer, Hol was a perfect substitute to not only hide Polnareff from danger, but might have the means and network to fix him up. It also kinda explains why his prosthetics didn’t look updated and advanced which the Foundation could have the access to, and are basically just metal rods and springs that wouldn’t allow Polnareff to stand for too long.

The story is this; Hol Horse drifted off here and there after the events in 1989 Egypt, though one of his goals was to meet up with Polnareff and apologise for every trouble he caused him when he was working with Dio (and to an extend, J. Geil, since it’s a headcanon of mine that Hol never knew about what his ex-partner did to Polnareff’s sister until much, much later). 

For years he carefully stalked Polnareff, trying to find the right time to talk to him, up until the fight with Diavolo. Knowing he wouldn’t stand a chance, Hol simply waited out and rescue Polnareff after Diavolo’s gone. He bought a villa in a remote village near the borders of Italy and France to nurse Polnareff back to health, with the help of his network of doctors and engineers whom he was confident had no ties to Passione or SPW whatsoever.

Polnareff obviously didn’t take the help positively. After all, last time they met, Hol was trying to maim him and the Joestar group. But after months, maybe years, of literally living together, with Hol being Polnareff’s primary caretaker and bodyguard, and after learning of each others’ pasts, happiness and regrets, Polnareff took a fondness towards Hol, to a point that he did thought of finally retiring and settling down with the cowboy somewhere where Diavolo won’t find them.

Then the first and short Chariot Requiem event happened. Hol at first thought they were attacked by a Stand, and decided to move them out to another safehouse immediately. During this chaos, Polnareff learnt that Hol had been gathering intel on the arrows, Passione and Diavolo himself, partly to monitor their movements as to not have them near their vicinity while Polnareff was healing. They fought about this, obviously, especially now that their end goals were different - Polnareff wanted Diavolo defeated with the arrow’s power. Hol only wanted Polnareff safe.

One day, when Hol was out for errands, Polnareff stole all the files and intel Hol had, and ran off with the arrow. He only left a short letter to Hol, thanking him for the medical help and the information, maybe even a “if fate went a different route, we could have been together forever” sort of angst. 

Hol didn’t give up, of course. Upon knowing that Polnareff went missing again, as well as all the info he gathered were gone, Hol traced Polnareff’s footsteps, which became increasingly difficult now that the Frenchman learnt how to move and hide better. He went drifting again, landing in multiple countries to find his partner and collect more data on the arrows, while also taking up odd mercenary jobs to fill in what free time he had. Including one that landed him in Japan with Boingo’s help (cue CDDH tie-in!).

It would take up until after the second Chariot Requiem event when Hol finally found out where Polnareff really was. But it was too late. Polnareff was gone for good. And Hol didn’t learn that until days after Part 5 ended.

---

At this point, I did want to tie it in with my Kaiserrequiem AU, at the moment when Hol arrived in Italy after Passione was taken over by Giorno. He still didn’t know that Polnareff was already “dead” but he managed to trace his scent close to Passione’s main HQ. What happened next purely involved Il Gatto, that OC I made just for this part of the story. Maybe I’ll talk about it later?

Anyway, there it is. Feel free to use the idea; I give my permission. :D 

[mortalisangelus]

Everywhere you go i hope you know you're never alone.

Summary:

A female perspective on dealing with love, losing people, growing up and the effects one person can have in the space of a year while navigating complicated families, mental health, and education.

A teen girls admittance of bottled up emotions in the form of a one sided conversation addressed to a boy who will never know her feelings. Her feelings for him is the start of a realisation and year long journey of growth, anger and feminine frustration.

TW - underage drinking, talks of abuse, depression, anxiety, mature topics

Chapter 1: Unexplained explanation

I hate you so much but I can’t stop thinking about you. At first you were only a name I heard from my friend, well my best friend at the time, Flossie. She would talk about you non-stop and I think it’s because she liked you a lot. Most the stuff she said about you was kinda negative. I read somewhere that when people constantly bring up someone in a way to put them down, when the person hasn’t done anything, it’s usually because they like them and are trying to find ways to talk about that person without raising suspicion. I’m not entirely sure on the validity of that, but I’m half convinced there’s some truth behind that idea. Anyways, I heard about you before I even met you. You and my friend had some sort of thing going on between You two, if it was romantic I cannot say for sure but I have a strong inclination it was. I don’t think you would have ever been right for each other, you were both too different. I remember her talking about the arguments you’d have, it’s a good thing you were never together. Perhaps I say that selfishly, but I remember thinking that before I ever met you. Although nothing happened and you two moved on,I don’t think she ever did, and maybe you didn’t either. That’s not something I’ll ever know. Well, either way the truth is there’s something about you that entices people in but you’re too noncommittal to ever let people satisfy their curiosity.

You’re a Handsome man and you know you are and you receive plenty of attention, you know how to play up your allure, annoyingly. Your demeanour and your looks match each other well, but your personality is one that surprised me at first. All I knew of you before I met you was a second hand impression attached with pictures I’d seen on social media. From what I’d been told you were some sort of player, with this aloof arty in a writer type of way, with some angsty attitude somewhere in the mix. The trouble is knowing things about you from someone else meant I knew things you never told me and maybe for personal reasons. I feel bad about it now, although at the time I was only listening to a new story my friend had, what could be wrong with that? The more I got to know you on my own I felt like we had more and more in common. In fact I found you to be a really diligent and smart person, with a secret soft side. My friend told me about your past and about how your sister made false allegations of abuse against you and your dad, causing your family to drift apart. You made it very clear that you didn’t like your sister, which, to be honest came off slightly weird as you never disclosed this to anyone else. Knowing the deeper reason I can sympathise, especially as a similar situation happened with me. I never told you this but my brother was physically abusive to me, my sisters and mum. On multiple occasions the police had to get involved. This is something I’ve never really told anyone and I know you’ll never know this but I just wanted you to know I get it. I’m sorry I know about it.

In reality it’s silly how much of an impact you’ve had on me, I keep talking about how before I met you but I’ve only ever actually met you in person a handful of time. Most of the time we spoke it was via text or message embarrassingly on Snapchat, oh and there was lots of calls on Facetime. I can remember every time I met you and all the thoughts I had and my feelings around those times. I’ve known you for just over a year; you’ve changed my life greatly in that time, but for you? It’s like I entered and left yours without any evidence I was ever there. I have so many things I wanna say to you or admit to you but I can’t and never will. I’ve never met someone who has made me so upset, happy, confused, and frustrated all at once. My situation that adds a secondary layer to my friendship to you is confusing but makes a little bit of sense of all that went on, what I felt and maybe still feel. This is a layer I need to explore in words for myself as I write this. I speak addressing you in this, but I hope you understand this is more an exercise for me. I need to make sense of who I’ve been over the last year or so, and let myself move on emotionally from a part of my life that I can’t figure out. A map of the times we met, our calls, you, what everything meant to me. A route to understanding my place as a woman, and the helplessness I feel.

It’s not all your fault, but I’d like to at least hear you say “I’m sorry”, Benji.

[sunshine-zenith]

Okay but like. Ratatouille from Linguini’s perspective tho

You’re some broke, awkward guy in his twenties who can’t keep a job down to the point that you Know that the letter your recently dead mom wrote to her also dead famous friend’s coworker contains Something about giving you employment. So you march yourself down to this fancy restaurant, submit yourself to verbal whiplash, fork over what might’ve been the last thing your mother ever wrote, and become the lowly janitor

Fine, right? I mean, shitty day/week/month/whatever, but you aren’t picky. You have a job, so you can pay rent. Except you accidentally spill like half a pot of soup and you panic. You literally got this job like fifteen minutes ago and you already fucked up. Rent is breathing down your neck so you do the Broke Twenty Something thing where you try to use water to hide the difference, throw in some spices because you have no idea how cooking works, and hope that no one notices despite the fact that one sniff tells you you fucked it up worse.

Then a rat fixes it.

A random rat fixes it.

(You’re broke, you’re mom is dead, and you cook worse than a rat. Imagine that.)

And somehow the soup gets served to a food critic that’s apparently well respected and now you have no idea if you’re gonna be flayed alive by your new boss or given a job you are in no way qualified for. Rent is still a thing.

Then you realize the rat understands human language and knows enough body language to communicate. Then you realize you’re own body is fucking weird because this completely random rat (that you had to explain morality to because he stole some herbs from your neighbor) is controlling your limbs by tugging on your hair. Also you become lowkey famous yourself because the rat is that good a cook.

And you have to go along with it because you need money to eat and not be homeless and you need a job to get money. It hasn’t even been a week.

At least your coworkers are nice enough. You get a crush on one of them and get a crash course on cooking and working in a kitchen and sexism and oh my god like at least three of your coworkers are technically criminals aren’t they?? Also your boss gets you drunk and asks you a bunch of weird questions about pets. You only wanted a job

(The rat makes you kiss the coworker you kinda have a crush on that’s been teaching you everything. What the fuck. You probably have to explain consent to a rat now. Luckily the coworker likes you back and is okay with the kiss, but still. What the fuck)

(Also the rat now seems to have a rivalry with your new girlfriend. What the hell, rat buddy? You’re literally the reason these two are together, and also the girlfriend has been working in the food industry longer than the rat has been alive probably, she clearly knows her shit)

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the rat walks up to you with some documents about how your dead mom’s dead famous friend is your dad. Also your boss did DNA tests on you behind your back (invasive much??). Now you own an entire restaurant because of a deadline in you’re secret dead dad’s will that was like two days away from being moot.

(I dunno about y’all, but I’d need to sit down for like seventy years at this point because there’s like fifty different layers of fucked up here. You grew up without knowing your dad, then you learn you’ve been working at his restaurant. He’s famous and his face is on a bunch of frozen food dishes. Both of your parents are dead. Your mom never told you or your dad about the being related thing for some reason. Your boss did a DNA test on you. You own a restaurant and you can’t even cook. Your new pet rat somehow got this information before you and can apparently read. Your father was a famous chief, your name is literally a pasta, and you can’t even cook. It’s only been a couple months, what the hell)

Now you’re famous and the food critic they lowkey caused your secret dad’s death is after you because he has a weird vendetta going on, and also your rat (who’s like your best friend at this point let’s be real) is acting weirder than usual, but at least you have a better apartment and get to talk about how much you love your super cool and smart girlfriend in public.

Next thing you know, your rat is sneaking other rats into the kitchen, you have to explain that a rat can cook better than you, and everyone quits in the middle of the day (what the heck, one of them probably killed a guy and another was in the circus. The rat thing is weird but like. You can roll with the punches. Why can’t they??)

So while you’re like having a panic attack because of this, your rat unionized his rat friends and now the kitchen is being run by rats. What can you do? You wait tables because what the hell, you’re in way too deep at this point.

(Also, side note, Linguini totally missed out on his true calling as a professional roller skater or something. Dude’s graceless even when he isn’t being piloted by a rat, but on a set of roller skates he’s friggin amazing)

Luckily, your super smart (maybe ex?) girlfriend comes back (even if the whole rat thing is still throwing her off, but hey. It’s prolly nice to have Somebody acknowledge the weirdness of this entire thing without jumping ship). Apparently the food your rat cooks is so good that the food critic that lowkey killed your dad reevaluates his entire life, but now he wants to meet the person that made the meal. What do you do — your (maybe ex?) girlfriend is the only other human here, do you say she made it or do you show him the rat?

You decide to make this Super Important Super Harsh food critic wait hours, then you and your (probably) girlfriend have to show off how you’re weirdly drift compatible with a rat. The food critic just like. Thanks you for the meal and leaves. What do you do?

Also at some point during the night the rats kidnapped your weirdly invasive ex-boss and a health inspector. So yeah, you should probably deal with that.

Then the food critic that lowkey lead to your dad’s death writes this inspirational piece that critizes critics, tanking his own career in the process, only for the health inspector to shut down your dad’s restaurant. But okay, the now ex-food critic now takes the money he made shattering the dreams of other chiefs and invests in your rat best friend’s dreams, and now he’s kinda your friend and you work at the rat’s restaurant with your amazing girlfriend.

All this happened in only a few months. You just wanted a job.

Linguini’s a fucking champion for putting up with all this istg