#the fuck is wrong with yall we are supposed to eat the humans not make out with them?????

[savvage-arts]

the asks have focused on merman jonathan but imagine: merman joseph and merman jotaro

I absolutely need just a whole mer!Joestar family here, everyone's alive and they keep falling in love with these damn humans, that's the new Joestar curse

[fujita-exe]

I've been imagining how the D.A.M.N crew would text so here I go

You can read this both in polycule or not, your choice

(click/tap read more if you're interested!! It's quite long and I'm not great at writing so I apologize if it's cringe)

Freelancer:

"Would you like to eat lunch together if you have the time?"

- they would use slang, and they'd shorten their words sometimes too

- sometimes they'd also use emojis

- it drives Damien insane (sometimes)

"💥💳💥💳💥💳💥 HELL YEA!!! let's just hope my professor doesn't give me extra work this time though LMAO"

Damien:

- he would use perfect grammar.

- yes that includes punctuation, capitalization, and no, he does not shorten words or use slang. (ex: "with" into "w", "LMAO", "LOL", "ngl")

- also, if you need tone indicators, he will use them for you!!

- it's kinda scary when he gets mad

- he won't hesitate to type a whole paragraph either

Gavin:

- lower case letters ✨

- "i look pretty, so the words i write must be pretty. - Gavin"

- uses grammar correctly

- I'd like to think he uses slang in a wrong way. It's up to you to think he does it on purpose to piss Damien off (like that ✨micro-wave✨ incident) or he just genuinely does not know how to use them cause I like to imagine he's not used to human stuff

- he uses the "~" at the end of certain sentences a lot

Huxley:

- he doesn't like texting, the big guy said it himself. but at least he tries his best

- he'd send voice messages instead though!! Or maybe when the question is just yes/no, he'd just reply with emojis, that works too I suppose.

- he'd definitely use videos too, cause like, I dunno, sometimes explaining things is hard yknow? so you just show'em to make it easier

- when he does text though. well- he's trying, right? definitely a lot of typos, quite hard to understand :''

"Gsuy llok wgat I fonud"

- insert image of a cool looking rock -

Lasko:

- how does this man manage to stutter in text too

- he just types so fast man, especially if he's using a computer. speed.

- if he's using his phone, autocorrect has his back, most of the time anyway. he'd still have to correct some words but it's okay, he doesn't mind (fUCK AUTOCORRECT SOMETIMES IT CORRECTS SHIT YOU DONT WANT TO CORRECT)

- speaking of autocorrect Gavin definitely teases lasko for the words corrected if it gives a different context. but knowing Gavin, he can turn literally anything into an innuendo. like seriously he makes it out of thin air, it's comes naturally to him (que lasko throwing his phone across the room)

"guuys are you freee tgis weekend? we should go to the movies! ofcourseif you want to, i dont minnd ifyoudeclinehaha"

- if he's on computer, autocorrect doesn't have his back, but he won't have as much typos as Huxley though, so at least it's still legible.

- just one or two repeated letters, hitting the wrong keys, or forgetting to use the space bar, that's all.

Xavier:

- lowercase letters. chill man.

- only uses punctuation when needed, very laid back indeed

- does use slang, not a lot though

- emoticons, i cant explain why, just - emoticons. it just gives a friendly vibe

"guys we are meeting up tmr right? if we are still meeting up, can we go to a cafe right after? i just wanna chill w yall hehe ^^"

Do feel free to add more :]

[dylanobrienisbatman]

The main problem with the whole mal vs the darkling thing in regards to being possessive (or really when it comes to any of their traits) is the fact that throughout, the darkling is clearly framed as the villain and his actions reflect that, whereas Mal as supposed to be the good guy and best romantic partner for Alina, and yet he has all these awful character traits and tendencies. So its less about how awful the Bad Guy is (since he's supposed to be), and more about how awful the person that we're supposed to believe is the best option for Alina is. I don't ship either, just my two cents.

Okay well... two things. First, your comment about "its less about how awful the bad guy is, since he's supposed to be", takes every comment I've made about Darkles out of context, which seems fitting since everything Darklina's spout about Mal is out of context. Him being the Bad Guy is fine, and if you like him AS A VILLAIN, and acknowledge all the bad shit he does, then my posts aren't for you. I think he's a very interesting villain, and a lot of the terrible shit he does that I have to keep making posts about make him a good villain, the problem is when the terrible shit the "Bad Guy" does is romanticized and viewed as the reasons why Alina SHOULD have picked him. So, don't assume everyone gets that "hes supposed to be awful". The point my post was making is that Darklina's love to call Mal possessive, but then turn around and act like Darkles literally enslaving her in somehow sexy and romantic. It's fucking not, and it's transparent as hell that y'all romanticize and sexualize the actually possessive character, and then project false character traits onto Mal. It's so transparent, it's almost funny.

But, more importantly, to your second, very wrong point, I wonder how much of the narrative about Mal having "awful character traits and tendencies" is actually a commentary on Mal as a character, or is it just Darklina's lying about things Mal has done and everyone accepting that misinterpretation as canon. Because, if were making a list...

Fuck boy - False! Mal was not a fuck boy! He was an attractive teenager who hooked up with consenting girls his age when he could, and he was not in a relationship during that time. Alina had never told him how she felt, so he is not beholden to her. (Also, nobody seems to have an issue with the fact that Darkles hooked up with Zoya in the show, that doesn't make HIM a fuckboy... interesting) (also also, nobody seems to discuss Darkles literally sexually assaulting Alina, and lying and manipulating her to get her to be physically intimate with him so he can use her... double interesting).

Slut Shames Alina - FALSE! The ever favourite callout line from Darklina's "He's all over you" isn't him slut shaming her. First, he has no idea what their relationship is like at that point, but more importantly, he is making an observation of her status in the little palace and how she has become his tool. He has dressed her up in his colors, made her put on a show for his benefit, and has created a situation where Alina appears to be his. Mal is noting that after months of searching for her, believing she was being hurt, tortured, or worse, when he arrives to save her, she looks like the Darkling's pet. (and, even if he WAS angry because he perceived them to be romantically involved, boy just spent months fighting for his life, lost multiple friends, and almost died to find her, all while coming to the realisation that he was in love with her, and then he shows up, after not hearing from her for months... I'd be pissed as hell too.) Important Note: He even acknowledges that what he said was wrong and tries to apologise, before Alina tells him that he was right. (Shadow and Bone, pg. 286). He also then apologizes, completely unprompted, for what he said. (Shadow and Bone, pg. 297).

Fat Shames Alina - False! This one is particularly laughable to me, because its one of the Darklina arguments that falls apart the second you actually read the scene. They are running for their lives in the forest, and Mal has to hunt and gather to feed them. He is noting that Alina's appetite has increased since he last saw her, and he makes a joke (ya know, how you do with friends) about how it would be easier to keep her fed if she still had her more meager appetite from before. He makes no comment on her weight, or her size, and he is not actually commenting on her appetite in a negative way, he is just acknowledging that it's a lot more work for him now that she eats more. Right before he says the line, the quote even proves that he isn't shaming her or thinking badly of her: "With a bemused expression, he watched as I gobbled down my portion and then sighed, still hungry". He is noting a change in her, and complaining that its made more work for him. If you think thats the same as fat shaming, well... thats a you problem.

Hates Alina's Powers - FALSE!!!! How to begin... do we talk about it was Mal's idea to hunt the stag in S&B, because he knew she needed it to be more powerful so she could stop the darkling? Do we talk about how he vowed to find the firebird for her, even though he was terrified of what all that power would do to her? Do we talk about how he literally died so she could achieve the power she needed to save the world? Or maybe we could talk about how he believed in her power more than anyone else, like when everyone was making bets about her abilities with the Cut and he knew she'd go further and better than anyone else expected her too, or when he tells her that he was never afraid of her powers, only what seeking all that power would do to her (which is literally the theme of the books, that power corrupts and seeking unmatched power can destroy you)? Mal being afraid of what is going to happen to Alina, being protective of her and worrying over her, is not the same as him hating her powers. He exists to help remind Alina of the themes of the story, and to guide her into maintaining her humanity.

Abusive - ... Do I even need to explain this one? Must I deign an explanation as to why this favourite Darklina lie is so fucking stupid, and also totally hypocrisy? No? Because we all know Darkles is actually the abusive one and they're trying to project their own shit onto Mal to further their abuse apologist agenda? Cool. Moving on.

Possessive of Alina - False! Throughout the entire series, Mal is quite literally the opposite of possessive, but yall just cant read. Not only does he quite literally step out of the way and allow Nikolai to court Alina without argument, which is the most direct example of him not being possessive, he also spends two full books believing, and repeatedly saying over and over and over, that they can't be together because he is not good enough for her. Mal believes, fully, that Alina deserves more than him, better than him, because he's just a tracker and a soldier, just a regular man with nothing to offer her but his love and his protection, and she is a Saint and should be a Queen. Possessiveness is the wish to own and control someone, it is literally the opposite of Mal believing that he's not good enough and doing everything he can to ensure that Alina achieves everything and gets everything he believes she is owed. A possessive character would not tell her to tell him to leave because he has nothing he can offer her, no title or land or country or crown. A possessive character would not promise to be the blade in her hand, because he believed he had nothing but the blood he could spill to offer her.

Angry - True! Yeah, omg, you caught us, Mal is ANGRY! Heaven forbid a teenager who is traumatized beyond belief and has to give up everything in his life, his position in the military (he deserted for her), his friends and the job he loved (Mikhail and Dubrov died for him, and he can't be a tracker in the army... because he deserted... for Alina), and, most importantly, he has to give up Alina (she should be Queen, he believes, and he has to give up the future he imagined with the girl he loves, who he was pretty sure loved him back, because she's a saint and queen and he's just a man), and more, is ANGRY. He has to be the one to find the amplifiers that he knows will end up hurting her, because thats what she needs to save the world. He has to sit by while Nikolai treats him like the dirt on his shoe and tries to woo Alina for his own personal gain (because Nikoalai did not love Alina. Maybe he came to care for her, but he proposed and spent all of S&S trying to get her to marry him when it was obvious they were not in love. He straight up says its so that the next King of Ravka can be married to the Sun Summoner. It's a power grab.) and he can't do anything about it. So yeah, Mal is angry. And yeah, sometimes he's even angry at Alina, just like sometimes she's angry at him. But they always find their way back, always apologize and try to be better for each other, and if you think anger is a toxic trait, and not simply a natural human emotion, might I suggest touching some fucking grass?

Idk why you thought I'd stand for Mal slander on my blog, cuz I will not. So, I'm gonna stop there, because I have shit to do today, but I really do wonder how much of Mal's 'toxic' or 'terrible' traits, that make him such a 'bad' love interest for Alina, really comes from Darklina's who refuse to actually read the text critically at all, and instead take everything he does and says out of context to further their agenda that Alina should have ended up as the Darkling's fucking slave forever, because thats the "girl power feminist" ending somehow. Mal supports her, loves her, sacrifices for her at every turn, and does everything he can do, to the point of literally dying for her, to ensure that she can defeat Darkles and save the world. He protects her, and when they end up happy and safe together on the orphange that they've rebuilt to help the children that were victims of Darkles war and genocide, he spends his days bringing her tea and cakes and flowers, kissing her silly under the stairs in the view of all the teachers, and calling her names like beauty, beloved, cherished, my heart for the rest of their ordinary life together, if love can ever be called that.

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: Fav boys with an S/O that's usually a hardass but has a moment of just 'oh my god that's so fucking cute' that they start crying??

Bakugou:

• Listen, you weren't totally against showing emotion but you really only showed two

• Frustration and 'happiness'

• Aka you laughed a lot but had no problem blowing up on someone

• No one had ever seen you outside of those two moods

• Half the class just assumed you never got sad or anything

• The other half assumed you never really had a reason too but maybe one day you'd snap

• Crying? You? Off the table.

• You're not capable of it

• They'd seen you detach yourself from things without a second thought

• CRAZY how you and Bakugou actually WORKED together in a relationship

• To be honest Bakugou doesnt even know if he's seen you cry

• He figures he'll see it eventually

• And he's right :)

• Bc one day you two are walking ahead if the bakusquad

• And theres this fucking puppy

• And it's so small

• Its a lil weiner dog

• And an audible rasp is ripped out of your throat followed by a small 'oh my god'

• His head fuckin WHIPS around• And he's met with you tearing up as you stare at this small dog and his mouth d r o p a

• This??? This is what it takes for you to cry????

• You put a hand over your mouth, mumbling something else and Bakugou is having a stroke

• You're like full crying now

• There are t e a r s

• He moves a little closer, wrapping and arm around your shoulder

• "Are you seriously crying over a dog right now?"

No words. You just nod.

• He accepts it

• No questions asked

• Bakusquad is what you call

• V fuckin confused

• "I want a puppy," you mumbled, breathing uneven.

"I know,"

"Katsu he was so tiny,"

"I know,"

• Cue more crying

Izuku:

• Hard ass 100%

• emotionally constipated on the Bakugou level

• emotion what's that??

• Idk

• Neither do you apparently

• You were just chilling most of the time

• Just- looking really blank

• never really felt comfortable with showing a lot of emotion

• People could use that against you

• call you week-

• You didn't want that

• you were dating the new symbol of peace, you had to keep up

• This happens during a rescue

• You get people out and once you're standing on the sidelines, the fight over- this little boy runs up to you, hugging your legs

• Thank your's are falling out of his mouth and he looks teary eye'd

• He puts his hands up and makes grabby hands and you immediately pick him up

• You kiss his forehead, your hold on the child tightening

• I mean at this point you're crying too

• Bc he was so damn cute

• Even with all the dirt on his face

• And Izuku is just standing there

• baffled

• bc you

• the person who was literally STABBED four times and kept a straight face the whole time about a year ago

• is crying over a child saying thank you

• He takes care of the press- and whatever else he needs to before slowly making his way over to you, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

• The boy was still in your arms

• "You okay princess?"

"Fine, thanks,"

• New image for the press!!

• You went from known for no emotion to Oh my god they have emotion????

• ur v upset about it

Hitoshi:

• He know you cant express emotions exactly how you want

• you'd told him it always felt weird and uncomfortable

• Especially letting other people see it

• Deadass took him 3 months after the initial four you guys were dating to pry that out of you

• He's never really minded though

• he just wants you to feel comfortable and be okay

• So he's always gone along with the casually mean laugh a lot vibe you've had

• But one day

• one faithful day

• you two are walking after an icecream date

• And you see these 2 little kittens in a beat up box

• you GASP and your hand immediately leaves his as you jog over

• And you coo at them, picking them up, one in each hand

• He's behind you when the water works start

• "Toshi...they're so cute-" you sniff

"Are you crying?"

"No- Yeah, just look at them. They're so tiny, they're gonna die out here alone,"

"Oh my god babe,"

"Toshi we have to take them back."

"I don't know if we can do that, we can take them to a shelter-"

• you're full on sobbing now, a blubbering and hiccuping mess

• he feels like he's gonna pass out

• what's he supposed to do

• you chose now to start crying??

• "No-No because they might end up on the street again and they need love, toshiiiii-" you whine out

• So he hugs you from behind, using one hand to pet the cat in your left hand. "Okay, we'll take them back. We can talk to Aizawa sensei."

• he presses a gentle kiss to your neck

• You def apologize later for crying in front if him, almost refusing to look him in the eye

• He flicks you and tells you to do it more often

Sero:

• hardass?? Yes and no

• You vibe

• you just chill and go with the punches

• but GOD do you refuse affection and basic human emotion.

• It took him 3 MONTHS to convince you to go out with him

• That he wasn't going to hurt you or judge you

• 3 MONTHS

• And what felt like fucking forever for you to accept his advances for affection

• He's so patient with you, you'll never find another man like this

• pls keep him forever

• Anyway now yall just vibe together

• But he's never seen you upset tbh

• And he's never seen you cry

• You push all that down, constantly just staying in a place of whatever

• He's a little concerned about it ngl

• but he doesn't know how to really help it

• Has deadass secretly been reading books about it

• Anyway

• One day y'all are chilling

• You're in his room

• he's at his desk- looking over an essay that was due the next day and you were in his hammock, already having finished it

• But he was bopping

• he had an earbud in one ear and he was mumbling along with the song, bopping his head and moving around in his chair, randomly bursting out a lyric here and there

• And then he heard a sniffle

• He immediately turns around and he see's you

• Your eyes are watery

• he pulls his earbud out and he's making his way over to you, clearly worried

• "Babe what's wrong?"

You shake your head, waving him off.

"No no, c'mon tell me-"

"You're just so damn cute and I love you so much. Precious."

• He's confused for a moment before it processes and he grins

"Is that why you're crying?"

"Yes!" You wipe your eyes again. "Thank you,"

He climbs into the hammock carefully, and wraps his arms around you.

• Not particularly what he had in mind when you finally decided to show emotion like that but he'd take it

Kirishima:

• puppy and cat

• aka

• Bubbly jock and hard ass motherfucker who can and will kill you

• He knows that you cant freely express what you feel all the time

• He understands more than most people think

• Because he knows it's easier to just be bitter than risk getting hurt again

• and you've opened up a lot!!

• and he's proud of you! Really.

• He tells you all the time and you gag and call him a sap but he knows that you secretly enjoy it

• Anyway you two are eating lunch outside

• Kirishima is babbling about something that happened after class the other day and you were eating quietly listening to your boyfriends ramblings

• And suddenly he feels a finger on his lips

• He opens his eyes confused, going to talk again before you sush him

• You're looking at a bird

• a REALLY small bird

• you take a small piece of bread from his sandwhich

• "Hi baby," you coo, "how you doin? Want some food?" You slowly hold the piece out

• The birds head tilts a little and he takes a hop

• then another

• and he watches you tense up

• and the bird takes the bread piece and flies away, he watches it go before looking back at you

• he about has a stroke

• you're fucking crying

• "Babe- wait- why are you crying?" He puts a hand on your shoulder

"What the fuck, that was so cute. Eij, he was so cute."

"Well yeah-"

"Jesus he was so tiny," you sniff, "did you see the way he tilted his head- oh my god and his little hop? No fuck off I'm gonna cry more,"

• And you do

• But honestly he doesn't even care bc you're finally letting something else in

• and it means you're comfortable around him

• so he only wraps his arms around your waist and pull you closer

• "he was very cute,"

[santigarcia]

Phone 📲

Human Touch Part Two

a nathan bateman x f!reader series

Part One 

word count: 2.9k

rating: M/E for sexual themes, smut (pls only read if youre 18+)

summary: You send Nathan accidental nudes and that turns into something else...

a/n: thank you so much for the response from part one!! be sure to read that one before this one!! and as always thank you to @punkpascal and @sergeantkane for making this moodboard for me! let me know what yall think!

That morning when you wake up there’s a stack of paper, your phone, and a breakfast tray on the table in your room. You didn’t even hear Kyoko come in. You can only assume Nathan is working, and you don’t want to bother him this early.

You still can’t believe last night was even real. Even when you wake up it takes you a moment to remember where you are.

With a stretch and a sigh, you climb out of bed. You reach for your phone immediately and see a text from Nathan on the home screen. He put his number in your phone and you flush at the mere thought of having a text relationship with him.

The text from him says that he is working, but you’re welcome to come ask him any questions you may have about the thesis. That’s what’s on the table. It’s a heavy stack of paper. The text also tells you that you don’t have to read the entire thing, but enough to see if any of it makes sense.

You’ll read in a moment, first you want to eat some of that breakfast. It’s an assortment of fruit and oatmeal. There’s also some toast and a glass of milk, water, and orange juice. It’s all so good and you’re happy to eat something so fresh.

You also notice nearby is a stack of your clothes from yesterday, they’ve been washed and dried. You get up to pull on your underwear only, you like feeling Nathan’s shirt on your skin.

Once you’ve finished eating, you reach for the papers. You begin to thumb through them and it’s almost impossible to read. Hardly any of it makes sense to you, and you don’t know if you should feel dumb that he thinks you could read it, or dumb that he’s so smart to write something of this scale.

A text alert causes you to jump while you’re deep in this thesis. It’s from your cousin.

‘Where are you?’

‘You’ll never guess! I’m a Nathan Bateman’s!’

You text back and forth for a while. You catch her up on all that’s happened in the last few hours. You stop texting her to take a couple selfies showing her where you are. You playfully take a couple nudes; you lift his shirt and take some aesthetic looking photos of yourself.

You send one of the normal selfies to her. But then joke that you took nudes.

‘You should send them to him!’ she teased back.

You’re about to send her another photo when Nathan texts you and ask how it’s going. But you don’t register it’s from him and before you know if you’ve sent him one of your nudes.

You drop your phone in a panic and burst out the door. You have no idea where he even is, but you bolt down the hall to find him. You remember him pointing out his work area on the tour last night.

You turn the corner quickly and see him sitting quietly at his desk. There are several screens in front of him, and behind that is a wall covered in sticky notes.

He glances up at you, but you can’t tell if he saw it or not. His expression is blank. He seems confused now that you’ve sprinted into his office.

“Something wrong?”

“Please tell me you didn’t look at them.”

A slow smirk appears on his face. He saw it.

“So… who was that meant for if not me?” he scoots back in his chair to look at you better.

“Look, I was sending it to my friend to uh, hype me up. And I accidentally sent it to you.” Your heart is pounding in your chest. From the running, but also the thought of him seeing the photo. Ok yes, he saw you naked yesterday, but not like THIS. “Did you look at it?”

“Of course, I looked,” he shrugs and licks his lips. “And I won’t say anything if you don’t want me to. But I kinda get the feeling you wanna hear my thoughts,” his smirk is plastered to his face.

“Just tell me, you're dying to say something. You have been since you saw me last night,” you blush hard.

“You’re fuckin’ gorgeous and I’d kill to touch your tits,” he states without so much as blinking. “But hey, it’s fine,” another shrug. “We can forget about this. No harm done.” He rolls back up to his screens.

“Wait,” you speak up, and he turns to face you again. You sigh heavily before you speak again, “ok so the picture was for you, sort of. I wanted to send it to you whenever I got the guts to make a move. So, I sent them to my friend to get her opinion, but I sent it to you instead by mistake.”

He sits quietly, his mouth quirks up in a soft smile.

“Is that you making the first move?” he asks referring to the ‘conversation’ last night.

You nod, biting your lip.

“Alright then,” he stands and cracks his neck.

“Right now?”

“Why not? You got somewhere you’d rather be?”

“I suppose now is the time I tell you that I'm, uh…. virgin,” you look down at your feet.

His expression softens and he takes a few steps forward. He puts a warm hand on your neck, just under your jaw and ear, “I’ve got you, okay? We don’t have to do this if you’re not ready, but if you are… I’ll take good care of you. I promise.”

He lowers his hand to your hip, and it all comes spilling out. “I want this. I want you. You’ll just have to show me how.” You blink at him, “you really liked my tits?”

He brushes his thumb along your hip, his skin burns through the fabric of his shirt.

“I wouldn’t waste my breath on it if I didn’t,” he leans closer to you. His body heat warms you in an entirely different way than last night. “Is my room ok?” he whispers. All you can do is nod, but you smile. He does too and grabs your hand.

“I can't believe that one picture of me did all this,” you lean into his shoulder as you walk over to his bedroom.

“Yeah? Well, you have some pretty powerful tits,” he chuckles. “Right in here,” his hand moves to your lower back pointing you towards his room.

“Look,” you start to talk while he sits down on the bed. He’s watching your every move. You know he knows you’re nervous. “I know this is probably going to be meaningless sex to you, but it’s not to me ok?”

“Kitten,” he frowns, “this is not meaningless to me. I told you last night, you’re exactly my fuckin’ type and I’d be a dumbass if I let you go. I mean if you want to leave, Kyoko will show you the door.”

“Oh. Really?”

“Really. I wanna get to know you. Every bit of you.”

“So, we’re starting with sex first,” you bite your lip, and he shrugs.

“What better way to get acquainted?”

“We haven’t even kissed yet…”

“You have to come closer if you want me to touch you, kitten.”

Each step closer to him makes your knees shake. You come to stand in between his spread legs and his hands grab your lower back. He pulls you onto his lap and goes right for your lips. His tongue slips between your lips and you moan. You grind yourself down on him and feel him harden between your legs and you gasp.

“Sure, you’ve never done this before?” he murmurs into your neck. “I got you,” he reminds you.

“Don’t say you won’t bite unless I want you to. Because I do. I do want you to,” you whine a little.

“Noted.”

He nibbles under your ear gently and you squeak. He squeezes you tighter and chuckles, his grip is tight.

“We need to get you out of those clothes,” he repeats his phrase from last night. This time it’s even scarier, but more exciting. He tugs on the hem of your shirt asking permission, which you give. He peels off the shirt revealing your bare chest underneath.

You wriggle under his gaze as his eyes rake over your body. You can feel him growing harder still beneath you.

“Please say something,” you whisper.

“You’re so fucking beautiful. I wanna…,” he clears his throat, “can I touch you, baby?”

You nod and his thumbs brush against your nipples first. His touch is soft, he traces all around your breasts with his fingers. Then he palms your breasts and squeezes. He bounces them, feeling the weight in his strong hands.

“Kitten,” he mouths at your neck. “I haven’t seen an actual person in months, and I haven’t touched a woman in well over a year. You’re gonna kill me.”

“In a good way I hope?” you moan a little. “Because you’re killing me.”

“Good?” he asks squeezing a little harder. “Fuck… fucking perfect. You seriously have the best tits I’ve ever seen, baby.”

When he lowers his head to your nipple, that’s when you really cry out. He hums happily and sucks harder. You buck your hips and he only seems to encourage it. He likes you wanting him. And he needs you, you can feel his need.

His beard brushes against your soft flesh and you shudder. He files that away with a quirk of his eyebrow.

“Nathan-“ you whine. “Please.”

“Please what kitten? Use your words baby.”

“Lay me down?” you writhe again in his lap.

“Good girl.” He pats your ass and stands with your legs wrapped around him. He lays you down, then spreads his body on top of yours. He kisses your lips over and over. He thrusts himself onto your thigh and groans into your cheek. “Are you real?” he sighs happily with a soft groan.

“I keep asking myself that,” you laugh.

He chuckles deep in his chest and sits up, pulling off his shirt. You reach for him right away and he shivers under your hands.

“You feel so good,” you tell him, tracing his skin. He’s toned, but still has a softness to him. It’s perfect. And he’s warm, so warm.

He moves down between your legs, giving you another look asking for permission. You hesitate this time, and he waits patiently for you to nod. He doesn’t budge until you do.

His fingers dance along the hem of your panties and he slides them down. He whistles softly when he sees you’re wet and needy for him.

“All that for me, kitten?” he looks up at you. He leans up to kiss your lips and he murmurs against you again. “You ever use that vibrator and think about me? Want me to go get it? Let me make your fantasies real kitten.”

You can only blink at him and you open your mouth trying to speak.

“Baby, I can’t make your dreams come true if you don’t open that pretty mouth,” he chuckles. “Where do you want me? C’mon. It’s just me, no need to be shy.”

“But- you’re you!” you laugh. “Just, please, touch me.” You grab his hand and guide him to touch between your legs. “I want you here.”

“Good girl,” he praises again and kisses your hip. He slips a finger inside with ease and he delights in that. His thumb brushes your clit and when you shiver, he smirks. He knows he’s on the right track with you. “Can I add another?” he asks.

“Please!” you cry, and he obliges. The second finger is a pinch, but a welcome one. His thumb presses harder on your clit and rubs in tight circles.

“Feel good?” he asks though he knows the answer. He can read your body like all the code he works on. You clench around him, and he continues his touch. His fingers curl deep inside and you let out a loud moan. “There it is,” he hums and kisses your thigh. “You’re doing so good, kitten.”

You moan his name when you find your release, and he works you through it. His voice is soft but commanding and full of praises.

“You did so good baby. So, so good. Ready for more?”

“Please,” you buck your hips up. “Can I touch you?”

He climbs off the bed to pull off his shorts, his hard dick springs free. He pumps himself a few times and sits down next to you on the bed.

“Have you ever touched one before?” he asks, there’s no jest in his tone but he really, really is turned on that his dick is going to be the first one you’ve touched. And he wants to hear you say it.

“No,” you reach for him and he puts your hand on him.

“The tip is the most sensitive part,” he breathes, your hand already feeling good. “Fuck, yeah just like that.”

“You’re…big. Are you going to fit?”

He wants to moan, but he holds back. He’s so turned on from your shyness.

“I’ll fit kitten,” he chuckles warmly. “Fuck, squeeze harder-“

You squeeze him and enjoy the warmth and weight of him in your hand. He looks perfect, just like you imagined he would.

“Yes,” you whisper.

“Yes what?” he chokes out a gasp and pushes you off him.

“Yes, I used my vibrator and thought about you.”

“Thought so,” he winks and positions himself between your legs. “You ready for me? I’ll go slow.”

“Wait-“ you stop him before he does anything else. He pauses, he’s about to ask if you want to stop when you gently pull off his glasses. You get a better look at his soft brown eyes, and he seems almost shy when you look at him. He clears this throat. He reaches for your hands; he pins your wrists above your head and kisses you deeply while he pushes inside slowly. You moan together and he checks your face for any pain or apprehension. Your eyes are closed, and your mouth is open, and he hums kissing your cheeks.

“You with me kitten?”

“Push in more,” you gasp, and he chuckles darkly doing as you ask. He shudders, your warmth feels so good to him. He buries his face in your neck and tells you so.

“You have the best pussy,” he grunts as he pushes in all the way.

“You better not just be saying that” you gasp.

“Kitten, are you ever going to believe me when I say I don’t mince words? I mean what I fuckin’ say,” he purrs. He’s straining, he wants to move so badly. “Please, kitten- tell me how you feel. Use those words baby.”

“It’s good, it’s so good. Tight. But, oh shit, please- move.”

“Yes ma’am.”

He lets go of your hands and he starts to move. You grab his head and hold on for dear life while he snaps his hips into yours. You know he’s still holding back and if you told him to, he’d unleash his full power on you.

You wrap your legs around him, and while the feeling of him is new and foreign it feels good. There’s a dull ache, but it’s wonderful. Wonderful because it’s him.

“Nathan,” you moan, “let go. Manhandle me. Fuck me hard.”

He makes a strangled sound between a gasp and a laugh and starts to push into you hard. He holds your body close to his and he sits up, pushing deep into you. His face buries into your tits and he moans, he fucking moans into your skin.

You reach between your bodies to touch yourself, but he shoves your hand away. He rubs you tight until you’re clenching around him. You’re both covered in sweat and breathing heavily when he nears his end.

“Fuck, fuck. Where do you want me to come? Tell me now,” he growls. His thrusts are sloppy, his dick jumps inside you and he squeezes you tight.

“In me,” you moan, and no sooner did the words leave your lips did he spill himself inside of you.

“Holy fucking shit,” he sighs with a soft laugh. He cradles your head and lays you back down. He pulls out with a shudder as he kisses your forehead. “Fuck that was amazing. You were amazing.”

“I feel amazing,” you look up at him. Your body is humming.

“Can I run you a bath?”

“Will you join me?”

“Well, that was the plan…”

You shove his chest playfully. “Your thesis sucks by the way.”

“Ouch!” he puts his hand over his heart.

“I didn’t understand any of it!”

“I didn’t think you would. Really it was just an excuse for you to stay a little longer.”

Oh.

OH.

“Well why didn’t you just say so?” you smile warmly.

“Cuz I’m a dumbass when it comes to women.” He gives you a genuine smile.  “And I didn’t want to scare you anymore than you already were last night. I wanted you to want to come to me on your own terms. And I knew that if you didn’t understand the thesis that meant you really are here for me. And not my secrets.”

“So why did you give me the money?”

“Wanted to.”

“What am I going to do with you?” you laugh.

“Hopefully, a lot,” he nips at your chin.

“Nathan!” You shake your head laughing, but inside you feel it. That pull. You’re already falling for him and he is too. “I think I’m going to tell my cousin I’m going to stay-“

“Forever?”

“Yes,” you laugh. “Maybe I will.”

“We’ll get your things tomorrow. I want to meet my future cousin-in-law.”

// 

tagging: @pascal-isaac, @wasicskosgirl, @velvetmel0n, @huliabitch, @shadow-assassin-blix, @writefightandflightclub, @aellynera, @softboywriting, @veuliee2, @spider-starry, @mylifeliterally, @millllenniawrites, @ntlmundy, @foxilayde, @writingletterstothefire, @mandoplease​, @anetteaneta​, @feelmyroarrrr​, @artsymaddie​, @shakespeareanwannabe​, @thevalentinowhitebag​, @deanfanatic​, @magicsuperheroes​, @phoenixhalliwell​, @that-one-weird-one​, @mariesackler​

[taeyongdoyoung]

summary: the forest is your only escape from the everyday troubles with your family until you find danger lurking behind the trees. or rather, danger finds you. your fateful encounter with the vampire ravn leaves you wishing for a different life. you strike an unexpected deal with the stranger that will soon turn into something more…

pairing: vampire!ravn x reader

genre: vampire!au, angst, humour, romance, smut

warnings: blood mentions, betrayal, panic attack, secrets, sensual (?) biting, ravn could eat this girl raw and she’d probably thank him (but he’s being a gentleman, as usual), kink discussion, self-doubts, fears, lots of kissing, y/n recites poetry again, swearing (like twice), fingering, blowjob, possessiveness

word count: 2.4k

author’s note: i just wanted to give yall something nice before all hell breaks loose. enjoy

part one 🌙 part two 🌙 part three 🌙 part four 🌙 part five 🌙 part six 🌙 part seven 🌙 part eight 🌙 part ten🌙 part eleven 🌙part twelve 🌙 epilogue

The minute you opened the door to Ravn’s castle, your current home, you ran into his arms and started crying inconsolably.

“Y/N, what happened?” he asked you and stroked your back in an attempt to comfort you.

“You were right,” you choked out. “Leedo was that wolf…that werewolf who followed me.”

“Did he confirm it?” Ravn felt the need to know.

“Not really,” you admitted. “But when I mentioned that night, he said ‘so that’s what you did to escape’. He said it in such a way that I just knew it was him. You should have seen his face,” you explained and you shuddered at the thought.

“So you don’t have any material proof?”

You shook your head weakly.

“But I should have trusted you,” you insisted. “I was such an idiot.”

“Does he suspect you know he’s a werewolf?” your boyfriend completely ignored your momentary self-bullying because he was more concerned about your life being intact.

“I don’t think so,” you murmured anxiously. But he knew you had a boyfriend. And that you lived close to the forest. How could you tell Ravn that you’d accidentally let it slip? Your heart was beating so rapidly you feared it would come out of your chest any second. You were completely terrified. Not of being killed, no, that didn’t scare you in the slightest. Your biggest fear was disappointing Ravn. Letting him down would be worse than death itself, you thought.

“What are you not telling me?” Ravn whispered coldly.

“H-how did you know?” you asked, suddenly feeling so feeble and pathetic.

“I can hear your blood pumping faster in your veins. It’s a bit distracting, to be honest,” Ravn chuckled and caressed your neck teasingly.

“Are you hungry?” you didn’t want to neglect his needs.

“Don’t try to change the subject,” your boyfriend scolded you. “What are you keeping from me?”

You looked away from him guiltily and made a poor attempt at escaping his soft touch, but he held you down as swiftly as you’d tried to flee.

“Y/N…how am I supposed to know what I did wrong if you’re not talking to me?”

Oh, no. He thought he was the one at fault. How could you break his heart like this? You somehow gathered the courage to face him again.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Ravn,” you reassured him. “It is me who fucked up. I…told Leedo that I have a boyfriend and that we live close to the forest.”

Ravn swallowed nervously but didn’t interrupt you, instead choosing to let you finish.

“I didn’t tell him your name or that you’re a vampire,” you immediately defended yourself, without waiting to be attacked, trying to make it sound as if your mistake wasn’t that fatal. “And it’s not like I was bragging about you, it just slipped unintentionally, I swear!”

Ravn grabbed your arms. For a brief moment, you thought he would just get it over with. Nothing could have prepared you for what came next.

“Y/N, breathe,” he was trying to calm you down. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“But the ground rules…”

“Are for your safety rather than mine,” Ravn informed you. “I’ve lived hundreds of years. Even a whole pack of werewolves cannot scare me,” he smirked confidently and you had to confess, you found that very attractive of him.

“There has to be something that scares you. Everyone has fears,” you pointed out reasonably.

“The only thing that terrifies me is losing you,” your boyfriend ran a hand across your cheek.

“So, turn me,” you immediately offered a solution to his one fear. “If you make me like you, you will never have to lose me.”

Ravn pulled away from you.

“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” he said and added, jokingly. “And besides, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t like to spend eternity with me. It can grow very boring.”

“Don’t you trust me?” you teased him. “I would stay with you forever if given the chance.”

Ravn smiled softly.

“Well, it’s not up to you, is it?”

You huffed in annoyance but decided it wasn’t in your favour to act like a brat. You didn’t deserve anything. Not after what you had done…

“So…you’re not mad at me?” you inquired, testing the waters.

“Would you still be breathing if I were really mad at you?” Ravn joked in a gentle manner.

“Can’t argue with that one,” you sighed. “But seriously. I’m genuinely sorry for letting it slip that you live close to the forest. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if something were to happen to you.”

“We,” he corrected you.

“Huh?”

“We live close to the forest. You shouldn’t worry about me. I can take care of myself. But can you? You need to work harder on your self-preservation instincts.”

“But I don’t need to. You can take care of me, instead,” you wrapped your arms around his neck, perfectly playing the damsel in distress role.

Ravn proved you wrong. With one brisk movement, he twirled you around and tightened his hold on you, his teeth dangerously close to your neck.

“You shouldn’t count on a cold-blooded animal like me to take care of you,” he hissed next to you. You would have trembled if you weren’t so embarrassingly turned on by his words. You simply closed your eyes, anticipating his fangs to pierce your neck. You were left with a shocking sensation of unfulfillment and disappointment when this didn’t happen.

“You’re such easy prey, it’s no fun,” Ravn complained and let go of you.

You gave him a sad and dissatisfied look.

“Do you want me to run around the castle like an idiot?”

“I’d rather you didn’t let me get away with using you for blood.”

You furrowed you brows in confusion.

“But…that was the initial arrangement?” you reminded him. “You let me stay, I let you drink from me.”

“I know that,” Ravn spat out, getting frustrated for some reason. “But the arrangement didn’t mention anything about a change in dynamics. We didn’t expect there’d be feelings involved.”

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“You’re my girlfriend. It isn’t right of me that I’m also using you as a food source.”

“But I like it,” you enunciated slowly.

“Why?” Ravn seemed sincerely dumbfounded by your admission.

“Why do you like drinking my blood?” you challenged him. “I just do, I don’t have a particular reason for it.”

Your boyfriend rolled his eyes sarcastically.

“I like drinking your blood, because I’m a vampire, love. Or did you forget that?”

You chuckled idiotically.

“Semantics. Whatever the cause, why can’t we just both enjoy ourselves? And each other…”

Ravn shrugged.

“Since you’re making it so hard for me to resist you,” he groaned and dug his teeth into your neck without much warning. You didn’t need it, though. By now, you had grown accustomed to his primal instincts and the way he shifted so abruptly from calm and peaceful to lethal and animalistic. It was refreshing that even when he continuously surprised you, there was still a large part of him that just felt so…familiar. Like home.

A couple of minutes later, Ravn stopped feeding from you, leaving a sort of emptiness inside you. The sensation of giving him your blood felt so strangely intoxicating that sometimes you found yourself wishing it could last forever. However, you knew that wasn’t very sensible, because then, you’d bleed out to death. And you were certain neither you nor Ravn would enjoy that very much.

He pressed a piece of cloth against your neck to stop the bleeding and tucked a lock of hair behind your ear. You looked up at him, completely awestruck by his cold beauty.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured apologetically, somewhat ashamed of his actions.

“What for? It’s only natural,” you responded quietly.

“Damnit, Y/N, there is nothing natural about my existence.”

“Stop,” you said, determined to change his mind.

Ravn simply blinked at you in confusion.

“Stop acting like I’m supposed to view you as some sort of monster, because you’re not,” you explained, getting aggravated by the way he disregarded himself. “There is no one else I’d rather be with than you. You’ve given me more than you could possibly imagine. You need to stop being so hard on yourself, okay? I wish every minute with you could last eternity, Ravn. So, please, stop saying such morbid things about your existence. If anything, I am grateful for it.”

Your boyfriend’s eyes filled with tears and for a short while he allowed himself to be vulnerable, let them fall down his cheeks like tiny raindrops. You didn’t know vampires could cry. And yet, why not? They were human once…Instead of saying anything, Ravn pulled you into a hug, kissing the top of your head in such a gentle way that made you feel so protected, so special. Then, he lifted you up and carried you to the bedroom. Your arms were wrapped around his neck and you hid your face in his chest, feeling ever so small. When he laid you down, you could swear you were minutes away from melting into a puddle. His lips met yours halfway, eager to be closer, to get as much from one another as you possibly could.

“You’re so warm,” he murmured into your mouth and caressed your cheek gently.

“And you’re so cold,” you reminded him needlessly.

Ravn shrank away from your touch, his gaze pained; he was obviously offended by you pointing out how his freezing skin affected you.

“No, no, don’t take it the wrong way,” you were quick to reassure his anxiety. “I like that about you. Opposites attract, remember?”

Ravn seemed quite upset by your words. You had intended to ease his mind, but instead…you kept saying the wrong things.

“Would you not like me if I were human? If I were…warm?”

You shook your head.

“I would like you even if you were a volcano, as long as you’re still you. I mean…your personality,” you insisted.

“Really?” Ravn was surprised by the closest thing you’d come to a confession. “You’d stay?”

You nodded adamantly.

“Of course I would! But…there’s no way of finding out, right?” as far as you were aware vampirism was incurable.

“Right,” he confirmed curtly. “Now, where were we?”

You smirked and traced a line across his cheek with the help of your finger.

“Somewhere very, very nice,” you whispered. “My love is like to ice and I to fire.”

“You know your Spenser, my sweet love,” Ravn praised you and attacked your neck. Not with his fangs but with soft kisses. This was it, then? You were going to die from embarrassment.

“I do quite enjoy him, I admit,” you mumbled absent-mindedly.

“Oh? Tell me, darling, who do you enjoy more? Him…” Ravn pulled away from your neck, which caused you to whimper helplessly at the sudden emptiness you felt. “Or me,” and with that he returned his attention to you, sneaking a hand between your thighs. You were begging and moaning uncontrollably at this point, but because you were an incorrigible brat, you couldn’t help but tease him:

“I don’t know, I’ll have to think about it, maybe even do some research.”

“Research, huh?” Ravn chuckled and curled his long fingers inside of you. “Allow me to provide you with a primary source. To make your research more…hm…satisfying.”

“F-fuck,” you feebly let out the most corrupt sounds imaginable.

“That’s not very academic of you, love,” your boyfriend laughed into your neck, sending sudden vibrations to your body that further augmented your pleasure.

“I’m s-sorry,” you stammered.

“Sorry?” Ravn mocked you playfully. “Look at yourself, darling. You’re not sorry at all.”

You sneaked a peak at your already trembling legs and his beautiful arm discovering the secret realms between them. You cringed at your display of weakness, but the vampire immediately noticed your expression and made you feel comfortable again.

“Relax, love. Can you do that for me? Can you let yourself go, hm?”

You affirmed, eager to prove that you could do that, you could do anything he asked of you. Seconds later, you reached your high, coming all over his fingers, as he held you down with his lips still on your neck. You had seen galaxies in photographs but they were nothing like the galaxies you saw in front of your eyes in that brief moment, which slipped away as quickly as it had arrived.

“You…you’re trying to kill me,” you giggled.

“Au contraire, my darling, I would like you to lead a long, happy existence in my arms. If you allow me to take care of you, that is.”

“What, you expected me to say ‘no’ to that?” you continued laughing, eternally amused by the way he expressed himself.

“It pleases me immensely that you keep saying ‘yes’.”

You smiled smugly, an idea suddenly forming in your head.

“Now it’s my turn to make you say ‘yes’,” you told him and escaped his grasp swiftly, pushed him down onto the bed and began unbuckling his belt.

“You don’t h-have to…” Ravn spoke softly.

“Shut up. I want to,” you insisted and made your way downwards, planning on kissing every inch of him. Once you’d reached your final destination, you looked up at him, as if asking for permission to continue.

“What’s wrong?” Ravn asked you, visibly concerned.

“N-nothing, I’m just making sure you want me to…”

“Why wouldn’t I?” he blinked at you in surprise.

You didn’t press him for further information and gingerly licked the tip of his cock.

“S-shit,” Ravn groaned and held onto your hair tightly. You were shocked to find out his action thrilled you. You glanced up to see his eyes half-shut. You wrapped your lips around his length and did your best to bring him as much pleasure as he’d given you. He whimpered beneath your touch, which would have caused you to smirk if your mouth wasn’t so full. You moved your head up and down, aiming at fastening your pace and it wasn’t long before he warned you that he was close and that you might want to pull away. However, you had quite different intentions and stayed put, swallowing every last drop of him.

“You look like a vision,” Ravn told you.

You blushed and giggled simultaneously because you very much doubted the validity of his statement.

“I’m literally a mess right now,” you pointed out.

“But you’re mine,” Ravn responded, the hint of possessiveness making you feel more desired and needed than ever. “You’re my beautiful mess.”

To be continued…

[pedroscardigan]

okay as someone who like is literally enamored with tortured males who learn to love from their extroverted and Type 2 significant other, it wasnt strange for me to fall for Jasper Hale.

What I fucking hated though? was when my minority ass read that this dude was a part of the confederate army. like my heart SHATTERED when i found out that he fought for enslavement and then also wanted to be higher in ranks??? like my heart BROKE.

smeyer didn’t even fucking help because his “redemption” was that “oh wait but he fell in love with some latina” and AS A FUCKING LATINA i was like: w h a t . t h e. A C T U A L FUCK???

like okay so it was fucking bold of her as a writer to fucking write his past to be actually really fucked up, and lowkey i have so much love for Maria in the one way where i sympathize that she was a woman of color trying to survive off the land of her people that was stolen from her by America, and like what i hated was that the movie had sUCH POOR translations for the spanish, it was like so choppy to me and i was like ugh…

but anyways, back to how my heart broke because of jasper being in the wrong side of the civil war, after my heart was ripped to shreds, i read more and (one smeyer just is not the best writer she literally ate Khaki’s ass and i mean the pants), i saw that he began to hate himself because he could feel the pain of all the newborns emotions when he killed them, i could only connect that to the war he fought in. i began to think, did he think back to those times and think on how those he killed who were fighting for freedom felt? now that he was an Empath, did that mean he felt the pain and tortured souls cry for justice when he went to all these schools and witnessed all these POC finally after that long trek, now going to school unsegregated, and then like learning about history only to find out he was on the wrong side? like i just feel like.. the character that smeyer poorly developed, was actually someone we prob would’ve sympathized with.

i don’t condone his fucking actions for fighting in the confederacy cause that’s literally disgusting, fuck white supremacists, but i feel like as a boy who was trapped in that environment and being told that what made a man was being in the army, and desperate to survive this war shit he moved up ranks, and even after he died and was changed, falling in love with a woman who manipulated him (which was like also something i sympathized for maria cause she needed to in order to survive as a WOC) and feeling every death and loathing his existence, until finally he wanted to change?

where he was ashamed to tell his past to bella and fought the inner turmoil that was how to not be a monster as before and now, and finding alice who taught him that there was another way like eating animals instead of humans and learning from the past to change in the future,

i feel like that’s the present jasper. the one who learned the right way of thinking and getting on the right path. we can hate his path, it’s a given, but i can’t find myself to hate him over just smeyers lack of development for her LITERAL characters that she created, and instead connect the dots myself. she lowkey also barely had any poc in this damn book and i hated her for that. but anyways.

BUT WAIT THERES MORE TO MY HATE FOR HER WRITING: yall what i hated was that she wrote Maria as a woman that we were supposed to hate right? but like, the stereotype about latina women is that we are seductresses and like are lowkey manipulative because we know how to seduce and make men lust after us, was used to “manipulate” this “poor pitiful white male”. i hated that. it literally fed into the thinking of like that women should hate on latinas cause that’s what they do they seduce our men and manipulate them. like please bitch. and the way it was just point blank a fucking minority as the villain. ugh it makes me so mad. anyways.

that’s just my thoughts rn and i wanted to write it in words. y’all can disagree cause even sometimes i fight myself on this too. idk it’s just me feeling like as a reader i make the world that she wrote better.

[spnopineapples]

ALRIGHT PEOPLE. I'm READY.

LAST OF US 2 SPOILERS!!!!

......

.......

Are ya gone yet? Have you scrolled past if you don't want to see?

....

Alright. *CRACKS KNUCKLES AND NECK* Let's jump on into this!

First off I'm done with the game.

Second off..... THIS GAME WAS FUCKING PHENOMENAL!!! 10/10

The ending litterally killed me. Finished 2 hours ago,talked the ear off of my best friend for about 1 and a half hours and gushed and lamented the whole time. Cried for about 20 minutes by myself. Had an existential crisis. So on so on. And now I'm here, in the middle of an online meeting cause, ya know, Corona, muted with no camera on, because I'd much rather be typing out this dissertation.

Y'ALL. Go play this. It is AWESOME.

Now for the third and probably longest bit of this. My rebuttal to the bad reviewers:

I still contend that the bad reviews are 1 of 2 reasons with a little of a 3rd mixed in to both. #1. Being that people are pissed they killed off Joel and think the story did a disservice to the characters. #2. People are pissed because they think Naughty Dog was pushing a liberal agenda with a heavily muscled female antagonist/protagonist, a gay Ellie, and a transgender side character, Lev. The mixed in #3 is the extensive violence which I do contend was a lot. Yeah LoU1 was definitely violent, but damned this one got dark. And that's something coming from me because I am a fan of gratuitous violence.

Let me tackle these real quick. I'll be brief about #2 here though.

IN REBUTTAL TO REASON #2 - If you honestly didn't like LoU2 because of this reason (which I explained in my previous post about how IT IS logical that Abby be built the way she is and how Naughty Dog was definitely NOT shoving this or ANY of the others i mentioned in anyone's face in my opinion) you're in need of some corrective thinking and you should re-evaluate your ideas and realize that your opinion on these social issues doesn't matter and is wrong. None of these things make the game story illogical or bad. Bottom line: there are people like this in the world and their stories in this game drive the plot. It doesn't belittle the previous games or detract from the current game at all. You're just bigoted. Calm your tits and don't play the game if it upsets you so much. Pull a Seth and bury the hatchet. Make some steak sandwiches.

But I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and imagine that the majority of the bad reviewers were more pissed at reason #1, Joel's Death. But real quick.

IN REBUTTAL OF REASON #3 -If you hated the game because of the amount of violence, do realize that the violence was the point of the story this time AND IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE A DRAG ON YOUR SOUL. LoU1 was about finding love again in a violent world. Love being in the foreground and the violence a backdrop, which is why the violence didn't feel so in your face even though it was PLENTY violent. LoU2 was about succumbing to the violent world because of losing love. Violence being the foreground and tainted love (insert song here ya bastards) being the backdrop that drives it. AND HERE IS MY FAVORITE PART PLEASE READ THIS PART AT LEAST IF YOU DECIDE NOT TO READ THE WHOLE THING.

Think of the two endings. LoU1 WAS a story ABOUT finding love in a violent world BUT ENDED with Joel committing a violent act to protect his love (killing all the Fireflies, 1 of which was Abby's father and the driving reason for LoU2's main plot, and DOOMING THE WORLD TO INFECTION AND DAMNING HUMANITY). LoU2 WAS a story ABOUT losing love and reacting with violence BUT ENDED with Ellie doing a peaceful act (allowing Abby to leave alive with Lev) because of the love she had for Joel (that flashback scene of Joel playing guitar when Ellie decided to forgive him for the violence and lie at the end of LoU1).

DO Y'ALL SEE HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS?

There NEEDED to be a LoU2 because LoU1 ended with violence and a lie. LoU2 fulfilled this with an ending of forgiveness driven by a memory of love from the first game.

I've read a lot of the bad reviews where they mention the violence became too much and ruined the game. And that Ellie wouldn't act like that. First off Ellie totally would, fuck off with that noise. Second off THAT'S THE POINT. This was a story about how revenge is cyclic violence and it doesn't end until someone makes the decision to end it!

BOTTOM LINE: I felt ragged 2/3's of the way thru this game because of the violence, but that's the point of the story. Revenge is not worth it. Especially when it's with people like Abby and Ellie. Because neither are villians. AND BOY HOWDY DID IT TAKE ME A LONG TIME TO COME TO TERMS WITH THIS. Because I HATED ABBY FOR KILLING JOEL. When I first started playing her I DID NOT WANT TO BECAUSE I WAS ANGRY WITH HER. I litterraly felt dirty playing her. But this game did something amazing to get me around to appreciating her character. NOT LIKING HER CHARACTER, but appreciating. And I will tackle this in my next rebuttal.

IN REBUTTAL OF REASON # 1 - Let's talk about Joel's death.

I WILL NOT LIE TO YALL.

I was mightily upset about his death. At first I thought it to be a disservice to a beloved character. But then I realized something. See above about Joel's actions. He killed all those Fireflies and DAMNED THE WORLD. Not only that it is specifically mentioned in both LoU1 and in this game that Joel and Tommy did horrible things before they met Ellie and before Jackson. JOEL WAS NOT A GOOD GUY.

I think what people are upset about is the REALNESS of this game. A lot of other game developers don't do what Naughty Dog has done. Naughty Dog did not shy away from Joel's character flaws and his past wrongs! In fact, all the user's that use the reason for hating the game as "too many plotholes" Y'ALL FUCKING PLAYIN. More on that later.

Back to what I was saying about realness. In the real world, Joel's death and the brutality of it and suddenness of it is actually a very logical event that would occur. Abby doesn't KNOW Joel like we do. All she knows is this guy killed her father and a lot of her friends and damned humanity in the process. LoU1 is not a happy game. Might I remind yall about Sam and Henry? But his death was not "sudden". And it didn't steal Joel from us. I actually really enjoyed all the flashbacks to him. We got more than enough time and I actually feel as if the time we got with Joel was better because of his death so early in the game. DO NOT TELL ME THAT THAT NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM FLASHBACK DIDN'T FULFILL EVERY FEELING NEED.

And now for the wrap up - the big hangup that I see of those who hated Joel's Death is that the story didn't redeem it. They couldn't "buy" Ellie forgiving Abby at the end.

As I stated I will not lie. I was worried for about 2/3s of the way through this game that the bad user reviews were accurate and that the story sucked because I couldn't see where the writers were going. All I saw was senseless death of characters that I had loved and that I was coming to love. I straight up love Jesse by the way. It wasn't until Abby met Lev and Yara that I started seeing the majesty of this revenge story.

BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS I HATE FUCKING REVENGE STORIES WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER IS LIKE, NO, THEY WOULDN'T WANT ME TO DO THIS. Before this game I'd be like "miss me with that bullshit" but after today I would say "give it to me like this." This actually felt real. And boy was it raw. Guys, the reason I started forgiving Abby is because of her decision to help Yara and Lev. Because it was her attempt to right the wrong of killing Joel which was eating her alive. Her and Owen and Mel. Guys. She is Joel. Why the hell do you think Joel did what he did for Ellie in the first game? Because he liked her at first site? BULLSHIT. He did it because Tess told him to do something good for once. IF YOU ARE UPSET WITH ABBY THEN YOU SHOULD BE UPSET WITH JOEL. I get it. Abby had to earn that with her story because at the beginning I'd have said leave her to the clickers. BUT CONTRARY TO THE USERS OF THIS REASONING SHE DID DESERVE HER REDEMPTION. The game shows over and over and over again that Abby isn't some mustache twirling villian who deserves instant death. She is complicated. She cares and she hates and she loves. She knows what's right and wrong and tries to do right as much as possible but she's human and she gets angry. Anger means you care.. and she cared about her father. She's a good human too because good humans feel shitty about doing shitty things and if you are observant at all you can tell immediately with Abby, as we play her in her Seattle Day 1, that she has doubts and isn't comfortable with her role in how Joel died. SHE DESERVED BEING FORGIVING BY ELLIE AT THE END. AND IN THE SAME TOKEN ELLIE DESERVED FORGIVING HER AND BEING FORGIVEN BY ABBY. It is very clearly obvious by the end of the game that Ellie could not reconcile her revenge killings with her best memories of Joel or with the actions she had to take to get there. Also it is of very important note here that Ellie stopped drowning Abby because of a flash image of Joel playing guitar. And then later on actually seeing the memory associated with that image that stopped her you can understand why Ellie did stop outside of just being as tired of violence as Abby was. The memory shows Joel and Ellie agreeing to try to forgive Joel for lying to her about the Fireflies and denying her her purpose. All this the night before he is killed. Note what Joel says. "If God gave me the chance to do it all over again. I would have done the same thing." Just that fucking devotion he has for Ellie shines through and she really understands his reasons for what he did. Still doesn't feel as if she can forgive him. THAT IS IMPORTANT. She DOES NOT agree with his decision. She understands it, but doesn't agree. But still decides to try and forgive. GUYS. That's exactly what she understands about Abby. Joel was sorry but he still would have done it. Same with Abby. There's a reason that image popped up as she was killing Abby and not the image of his beaten up face.

Remember that line from LoU2? Tess said it. As she is confessing to Joel that she was bit. "We're shitty people, Joel. It's been that way for a long time!" And Joel says "No, we are survivors!"

Y'all don't think for one second that Joel wouldn't have gone after that Soldier who shot Sarah if Tommy hadn't shot him? Y'all kidding yourselves.

Abby realizes this truth in the end. She realizes the part she played in enhancing and playing into the fucking violence and shittiness. Staining and tainting herself in the process. She just wanted to be clean. And Ellie just wanted to be clean.

Bombing this game is doing a fucking disservice to the emotional complexity of this story. It's been a long time since I've been that emotionally twisted.

This game isn't preachy. This game makes something clear that alot of other revenge stories get wrong. Revenge makes otherwise good people do shitty things and the shitty things taint us for the rest of our lives. At least Ellie and Abby stopped themselves before they tainted all their being.

Yeah we're shitty people. But we don't have to be.

[moonlightchn]

𝖂𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖛𝖊𝖘, 𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖛𝖊𝖘

and basic shit you should know before interacting I guess~

*Disclaimer: all the information this post contains will be based on things I’ve learned over the years and my personal modifications are NOT to be taken as the general rule. This is MY abo concept for this bot in particular. Yall are free to agree, disagree, take ideas, adapt to your own bot, etcetcetc. Bye. Also sorry this doesn't have a read more;;;; I tried :(

Hello, this is (not) JYPe,

and welcome to the first episode of “Admin’s abo concept isn’t probably what you think so we gonna go in dept on this shit hehe ”. This was originally going to be a one part documentary but I realized I would probably keep coming up with or remembering stuff and these would be so LOOONG so I decided to just do it as I go and I’ll use the hashtag “admins abo tmi ” for this yeah. But also remember you can ask questions if you have any or if you don’t understand something because I usually ramble a lot.

Today we’ll be talking about 3 things that seem to be the most important since they’re the most brought up on my RP’s and they are:

Turning/Transforming.

Heat vs Rut.

Mates.

So let’s begin!

🌙 𝕿𝖚𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌/𝕿𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖘𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌…

There’s two meanings to this concept, one is the concept of turning from human form to wolf form, and the other one is being transformed into a wolf by different means (these usually depends on which story you’ve heard, it can be being the 7th boy child in a family, it can be a bite or a scratch, it can be eating raw meat, etcetcetc).

*This change has now also been added to the Chan’s pack introduction.

What are the definitions of this words? Cambridge Dictionary defines them as:

Turn: to (cause to) become, change into, or come to be something.

Example: “Chan turned into his wolf form”

Explanation: Chan, already a werewolf, turned and changed into his wolf form.

Transform: to change completely the appearance or character of something or someone, especially so that that thing or person is improved.

Example: “Changbin was transformed into a werewolf.”

Explanation: Changbin, a regular human, was transformed /by a wolf/ into a werewolf.

𝕿𝖚𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌…

In the classic folklore, turning consists of 2 phases, human with NO wolf characteristics whatsoever, (which is what makes it so hard finding out who the werewolf in town is) and fluffy wolf with some human like characteristics (being biped, having arms instead of four legs, body structure humanlike. The best examples I can think of are the underworld lycans mmm tasteful). Another general rule for classic werewolves was that the person and wolf were two different minds, the person never remembered turning and had no idea they were the werewolf terrorizing town. While being human, the person didn’t even have the wolf skills like hearing or strength. They were just regular boring humans. Another thing was that they had no control whatsoever and ONLY turned during full moon, but I’m not getting into that yet.

Here are some examples (it’s basically furries oop).

Moving on to my concept, I decided to have 3 phases of turning, consisting on:

Human: Basic, simple, boring human. No presence of wolf features whatsoever. YET they can still make use of their skills such as sensitive hearing, smell, extra strength among others.

Half-turn: Heavily inspired by Teen Wolf tbh, SOME features are present and can generally be controlled, such as eyes, ears, tail, fangs, claws. Can even be confused for hybrids. (sumn like this please appreciate my art)

Full-turn: they become big scary fluffy puppies. Let’s remember how they look like.

Channie Chan Chris

𝕿𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖘𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌…

As mentioned before, transforming depends on which story you know and what you’re settling for. Generally we always talk about bites and deep scratches. Some of the most known stories about how to become a werewolf are being the 7th boy child born in a family on a full moon, or in Greek mythology, Zeus transformed some dudes into wolves after they tried to feed him human meat. There’s many different stories you can pick from, they’re just one Google away~

On my concept, though, the only way to transform is through a bite, even though I always keep options open.

I will probably be talking about the 3 types of wolves and deepening this a bit more later on.

🌙 𝕳𝖊𝖆𝖙 𝖛𝖘 𝕽𝖚𝖙.

Imma give you a wolf biology class because I know too much useless info and I WANT TO.

Rut: The rut is the mating season of certain mammals. The rut is characterized in males by an increase in testosterone, exaggerated sexual dimorphisms and increased aggression and interest in females.

Heat: The estrous cycle or oestrous cycle is the set of recurring physiological changes that are induced by reproductive hormones in most mammalian therian females. Estrous cycles start after sexual maturity in females and are interrupted by anestrous phases or by pregnancies. This cycle presents four phases, the one known as “heat” being the second one, estrus or oestrus, that refers to the phase when the female is sexually receptive.

What are seasonal breeders and what is mating season?

The breeding season is when seasonal breeders reproduce. Seasonal breeders are animal species that successfully mate only during certain times of the year. These times of year allow for the optimization of survival of young due to factors such as ambient temperature, food and water availability etcetc. Male seasonal breeders may exhibit changes in testosterone levels, weight, and fertility depending on the time of year. Female seasonal breeders will have one or more estrus cycles only when she is “in season” or fertile and receptive to mating.

Wolves fall in all of these descriptions.

What does all of this shit mean and why do I care lmao?

This means that if this was a logical bot I should only be doing NSFW like one week during 4 months a year LMAO no frfr

This basically means that RUT and HEAT are the seasons when the MALE and FEMALE respectively are ready to mate with each other to reproduce.

I’ve seen many male idol hybrids having heats instead of ruts, which I have no problem at all with and am sure no one else does really, but I think you should KNOW that a heat would not make them want to fuck, but get fucked. Heat would be the need to be filled and not fill others. A heat and a rut does NOT have to equal dominance or submissiveness in bots, anyway, that would be like saying being top or bottom determines who is dom/sub and that’s wrong, so just a PSA I guess.

Now, how does this affect my CB and ABO concept?

I’ve never, anyway, read anywhere of classic werewolves reproduction, which leads me to believe that they’re probably sterile. So I will stick to real life wolves rules but on my own way. Wolves are even monogamous and I dont go by that one lmao.

Reproduction rules on my ABO are really simple, ruts are once a month, around 5 days, and each of the guys have different characteristics for them. They’re only capable of getting someone pregnant during ruts, too. I just generally believe all girls are on the pill tbh and I never really use condoms but guys irl please practice safe sex wrap your or your partners willy before going freaky and stay safe.

Not sure if there’s something else to mention here? Let me know.

🌙 𝕸𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖘…

Mates are the wolf equivalent of soulmates, but that’s bullshit. I mean, I’m not gonna say they’re not real, I just mean that the general idea of only one person for the rest of your life and if it’s not them you’re miserable is dumb when we’re talking about beings with feelings. Did you know wolves irl are monogamous and mate but if their mate dies they just look for another one and move on? Now you know.

The thing with mates and marks, in my humble opinion, is that they don’t mean anything. Peoples hearts change, feelings come and go, and my wolves are NOT about to drop everything they have for some person they don’t know who happened to be their true mate. In fact, Channie is the only one who believes in them. The mates issue is a bit complex if we think about it over each of the Chan’s, but on a general idea, the mates are not exclusive for the guys, and I’ll probably make a tmi on the boys at some point, but Chan met his mate and it didn’t work out, for example. Mates go further than the marking, btw, mates are a special, cosmic bond. Marks are just that, marks.

And talking about that, we do not vibe with marks. The original folklore states marks as the way a wolf has to claim their partner as theirs and keep away others, especially from an alpha, and they’re supposed to go both ways, so marks between human/wolf, for example wouldn’t be possible. There’s also two marks.

The first bonding mark is generally given during sex between mates and heals, and the second one in front of the pack (there’s a whole social status thing involved here but were not touching that yet) and its permanent. Also marks are literal WOLF BITES so no, they’re neither small nor cute. Just look at these teethies and picture the scar in a neck-shoulder. That’s your bonding mark.

(they're cute tho I uwuuu)

What I’ve been reading around in fanfics and seeing around is that bots have been mated and claimed with marks, which is ok if you’re into that. My chan’s, though, find physical marks archaic, possessive and toxic. And honestly I personally do too.

You may have noticed by now that even though the boys are quite possessive, they’re never trying to scare away others and their sole way of marking is love marks that heal eventually and scenting. Permanent marks are a nono.

They will NOT mark anyone as their mate. Especially Channie plz he’s baby.

This is a personal decision and it does not mean that marking is RIGHT or WRONG. I just personally see marking bites as marking your partner with fire or something and I dislike the idea a lot.

ALRIGHT I THINK THAT’S ABOUT IT FOR TODAY I FEEL LIKE I WROTE TOO MUCH ALREADY??? Feel free to ask questions or request certain topics! I think next topics will be Social Structure, Skills and maybe Self control or Moon Cycles.

If you read all of this WOW CONGRATS??? I LOVE YOU EXTRA MUAH

One question I got on the asks was “since their fur color seems to correspond with their hair color, what happens if they dye their hair?”

Nothing happens babe! When they’re half turned they will have really funny colorful hair, but when they fully turn their fur stays the same! hehe Don’t worry, Chan won’t be a clown red wolf heh

OK BYE MUAH MUAH

Tags (hmu for removal:] if you don’t care about this hehe)

@yandereminholee @bunjihyo @shinhaneul-oc @sub-chungha @song-mingi-cb @grungeyuta @yourhwaa @bunny-woong @princess-yeji @xash-axx @7deadlysins-chan @camgirl-jihyeon @hybrid-wooyoung @vampirehhj @ghoulxbaekhyun @mafiaxnct127 @deadly-skz-gods-cb @mafia-chaeyoung @vampiresanha @sub-minho @starsirah-oc @femboy-minho @subbyhyunjinchatbot @weeb-wonwoo @yandere-wendy @musiclovermino @galaxy-ateez @chanlix-koalas @vampirechangbinnie @mafiafelixlee @madmanwoodam @sweetandsleepyjamie @yanderedahyun @hunter-chaeyoung @hwangyeji-cb @artsydahyun @gamer-yeji @yourminju @seulgi-foxy @kittensua-cb @softbabieinnie @softboyfriend-cb @iceskater-sana @irregularchatbot @yandere-miya @doll-seungmin @skz-cb @subbylino @babie-sanie

[oh-theatre]

Objection!: Chapter 27

Chapter title: Clocks Tick and Phones Still Ring

A/n: ....yall im so sorry for how long this took and the fact that not only did it take forever but it fucking sucks. I hate this I'm sorry I can't just here I'm so sorry

First | Previous | Next

words: 2155

summary: Through troubling times Logans mind run wilds trying his best

pairings: Eventual logicality, prinxiety, platonic demus, romantic remile

warnings: Murder mention, child murder, Law and Courtroom, swearing, blood, hospital, crime scene,  murder, gun mention, guns, swearing abuse, graphic descriptions, alcohol, shooting, crying

Ao3 Link  

Twenty minutes later...

Do you know what you are supposed to do when the love of your life sits pale and barely breathing in a room?

No Im genuinely asking

Because running out of the room and collapsing to sobs on your knees does seem valid however Logan just stood there. He stood there frozen, Barbara knew what to do. She ran to Pattons side, taking his cold hand, silent tears as she examines his soft face. Virgil emerges moments later, the family rule disposed of as he takes Patton's other side.  Roman took the end, and soon the room felt tight, he couldn't breathe.

He wanted to yell

Or cry

Or do anything remarkably human

But he just stood, nurses and doctors rushed by him, his friends talked in whispers of concern.

Why didn't he care?

He could hear the rest of them talking, questions fired at the nurses and doctors, sweet words of encouragement for a speedy and safe recovery for Patton. Telling them how much they care for him, but not Logan. In what seemed like minutes, the rest had decided to give Logan a moment. A moment for what? That was lost on him but alas the room fell quiet.

“This is your own fault, you understand that right?” He finally sets on speaking, not that anything would respond. Unless you count the steady monitor and the wheezes from the machines. “I'm not sure how many times I must clarify this but I'm not Liam. You can tell me things, you can trust me”

He scoffs, his arms crossed over his heart.

“None of us are Liam. You know I don't say ‘I love you’ ok?” He pushes, he can feel his nostrils flare. Do something Patton, respond. “I've only said it to my mothers and you” He glares, why was he just laying there. How dare he? “You took that from me!” He takes a second, breathing deep. “You knew...you knew this was going to happen. You have a will...its reasonable. You have two kids, a sister and assets at your disposal. But they showed it to me, they brought it to me”

He took his copy out, the crumpled and tear stained document felt too heavy.

“I, Patton Hart, residing at 1823 Millow Lane, declare this to be my Will, and I revoke any and all wills and codicils I previously made.” Logan begins to read, his hands shake noticeably but he continues. “I leave minor children surviving me, my daughter Valerie and son Remus. I appoint as guardian of the person and property of my minor children my partner Logan Tolentino. He shall have custody of my minor children, and shall serve without bond. If he does not qualify or for any reason ceases to serve as guardian, I appoint as successor guardian my sister Barbara Hart.” He finishes, some small part of him almost hopes that Patton awakes. An explanation ready. “This was recent, you knew, you knew something was going on!” He shouts, he tries to recenter but he can't, everything is too much. How was he supposed to handle these things?

“Logan? Everything alright?” A knock allows him to remember he's here.

“M’fine” He lies, and soon it's just him once more. “You changed it, this was clearly recent because I know you. I know that it takes you forever to trust people...although looking back on this unfortunate event you don't trust me. How dare you do this? How dare you not tell me, how dare you turn away from and do this” He rips the paper, watching its remains crumple to the ground “It's not that I can't do it, or won't” He states “Its that I don't want to…” He approaches Patton, finding himself next to the pale faced man. “I don't want to do this without you” He breaks, the anger shatters as his hand meets Patton's cold touch. “Please Patton..” He barely whispers at this point, his heart feels too heavy to be his own. “You do not get to be the love of my life and then die, you do not get to do this to me. Do you understand?”

“Papa?” Logan turns and eyes in horror as the twins, so bubbly and sweet, lose everything about them. Emile bursts through, his eyes and breath apologetic. “What happened...to papa?” Remus cries, Valerie shakes her head.

“Logan I am so sorry, they ju-” Emile begins but Logan sighs.

“It's alright” He assures standing, Emile takes his cue and walks away, leaving the three of them in the room...well four of them, for now. He takes them both in his arms, a breath of relief knowing they exist, knowing they are there and ok. He leads them to the bed, sitting at the end as they fear their place. Valerie squirms first, crawling closer, but alas her hands recoil. Remus has no qualms, he jumps hugging his father.

“Papa wake up please” He begs, his voice so soft. His energy and excitement for the mystery of life is gone. He wanted certainty, he wanted his father. Soon his sad calm aura turned quick to confused anger. “Wake up! Wake up papa! Wake up!” he cries, Valerie's simple tears, as she watched in pity for her brother, were nothing compared to the waterfall. Logan takes the boy, embracing him gently in his arms, soothing him to breathe. Valerie adjusts herself under the blankets, hugging Patton as she tries to mimic his sleep pattern. Logan watches knowing his world is breaking, and he's only got a smidgen of knowledge of what to do.

“The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout, down came the rain and washed the spider out” Valerie hums, Remus eyes her red and puffed. She continues her gentle tone, and Remus joins her on Patton's other side. Both cozying up to him, simple and sweet tunes until the pair tire themselves out. Sleeping away, Logan sits in the chair, he watches hoping to protect them for a moment before his own eyes fall prey to the idea of rest.

~~~

A week later…

“So we ended up going to the wrong store” Logan explains as he sets up the meal, the children giggle placing the sheet over the table. The hospital had granted them permission to use a table, and set up for meals in Patton's room. “Here you are” He hands plates to Valerie, she juggles them carefully setting them neatly upon the surface.

“Imma go get napkins!” Remus declares, he enjoys the sweet gushes the nurses give him so running through the halls was his favorite pastime.

“He's not gonna come back with napkins” Valerie sighs, continuing to help Logan. He sits by Patton, recalling their day. “Lollipops maybe, but not napkins” She finishes giving Logan his moment to set the food. He had been trying his hardest, help from Roman and Remy was required for cooking. He followed the recipe and tried for a simple mac and cheese today, with some salad and sweet desserts.

“Ready?” Logan asks as Remus emerges with a bundle of his own finds, none of which included his treasure he had set to get.

“Don't forget food for papa” Remus reminds, Valerie nods already chomping into her meal. The twins had insisted they set a place for him every time, serve him food and Logan would wait until he was alone to pack it back up. They knew he wasn't eating it but it was nice. “He's going to be so big and strong when he wakes up”

If he wakes up

“Absolutely” Logan agrees. So they eat and Emile comes to pick them up for a day away, Logan cleans and makes sure everything returns to normal. He can't say he doesn't enjoy the few moments alone, it takes time to go from a solitary routine, to adding a romantic partner and then children.

But he misses the second part more than he cares to admit. He sits at the end of the bed, stroking away Patton's loose hairs, the freezing touch scares him. He moves closer, somehow finding himself exhausted and wrapped around Patton. Its funny, he used to dream of the day's end when he could cuddle up in bed alone, the world was his own. But he hadn't realized how much he missed having someone, Patton, there with him until it was gone. Sleep had been awful, restless, but as soon as he had his protective arms around Patton, making sure he was ok...Logan fell fast.

“Careful Lo, hes just a baby” Patton smiles, swaddling the young child in Logan's arms. The man fears his own breath, the smallest of tears as he watches the young one snore so easily. Patton keeps his arms connected and in this moment they just are, they feel connected. A soft kiss to Logans cheek as footsteps shuffle behind him.

“This is Jamahl, Terrences brother” Cindy introduces, Patton flashes his award winning smile. The boy remains hesitant, keeping his eyes steady on the little child in Logan's arms, he has no choice he thinks. If he wants to keep his brother safe this is his option. So he goes with them.

“Where are we going?” He asks, as the neighborhood finds itself less familiar. Patton looked at him, he insisted on sitting in the back with the children. Keeping an eye on the baby.

“Home” He replies, Jamahl scoffs shaking his head. “My home, and Logans and if you would like it to be...your home” Patton corrects, Jamahl gets a choice? That's new. “Oh I should warn you-”

“Here it comes” The twelve year old sighs, Patton keeps a gentle grin.

“I have two twins at home, they're both five years old.” He pulls out his phone, swiping to show a shining photo of Patton and two young ecstatic children, “Thats Valerie and that's Remus” He points, beaming with pride. Jamahl nods, ok...not as bad. “They're wonderful and...five years old and very excitable so just be wary” He laughs, Logan could never get tired of the sweet sound.

They arrived at the house quickly, and Patton was not wrong to warn the child.

“Im Valerie!” A young girl smiles, shaking his hand vivaciously.

“Im Remus!” The boy greets, a giant hug. Jamahl freezes but allows it to happen, thanking whatever ethereal being let Patton pull the twins off him.

“Remember what I told you humbugs, no touching unless they are comfortable with it ok?” Patton reminds, they nod before waving their goodbyes. They run off and Logan disappears into the hall, coddling the baby. Jamahl looks worried and Patton assures him. “You wanna come see what's going on?”

“Yes please” He nods and finds himself allowing Patton to lead him into the baby room. A bed set up for him as well, he watches Logan be ever so careful with the baby and Patton respect his boundaries. He shrugs.

Maybe this won't be so bad.

~~~

A month later...

“Its your fucking fault!” Logan decides, Emile shushes him backing him up from Virgils heated face. “Everything that is happening is your fault!”

“Logan you're being a dick right now” Remy announces, a glare from Emile quiets him. Logan scoffs kicking the chair underneath him, scaring even Roman.

“And yours too” He points, his nasty finger threatening the detectives. “Why didn't you do anything, day after day he came to you! About Liam! And now because of your fucking negligence, he was too scared to come to you and tell you about these phone calls!”

“You know what Lo? I shouldn't have told you, as of now you have no legal bindings to Patton, so me telling you that we searched his phone and found the phone calls, that was a courtesy” Virgil spits, Logan goes to approach not sure what his next move is but thanks to Roman and James he has no time to figure it out. They command him to sit, calming both parties and get a soothing talk down.

“You know it's his fault Roman” Logan sighs exasperated, Roman nods unsure but doesn't want to to escalate.

“You know what, fuck you Logan!” Virgil screams, Logan stands.

“You're the reason those children are gonna lose their father!” Logan retorts, that catches something. Virgil pushes past Remy, almost landing one on Logan before Roman grabs him, both surprised by how well they fit together. Silly to think about at this moment.

“Maybe if you weren't so fucking cold they would see you as a father” Virgil replies once more, that hurt. Logan won't lie that his knees buckled and he might have fallen right then had Barbara and Marcy not taken him and cared for him. He wants to keep going but a chilling throat clears the room. Instantly they both look to the doctor who stands, judgmental but patient.

“Hes awake”

[somedrunkpirate]

In the dark we travel (Geraskier Sci-fi au)

The witcher fandom yelled at me so hard more gays in space spawned, I love yall. Chapter 2 just got posted. 

Chapter 1 (Tumblr) | Chapter 2 (this post)|  Chapter 1 (ao3) | Chapter 2 (ao3) 

Though Geralt has been on large ships often, there is something about Garbagecrafts that looms over you when you enter. Walking over the edge of the doorway is akin to stepping into the maw of a creature, a cavernous space opening up before in a tunnel, leading only to greater open halls. The bowels of the beast with thin walkways crawling up walls that reach 20, maybe even 30 meters. 

The echo doesn’t help matters. Even though the first three halls they pass are almost filled to the brim with labyrinths of containers, the sound of footsteps ricochets off the metal floor and comes back multiplied a dozen times over. It disorientates Geralt, the echo overlaying with actual sounds to such an extent that it is hard to know where anything is coming from. It will be better slightly further down, he knows, where the walls taper off to a humble 15 metres. 

Every Garbagecraft is built the same way. You have the smaller, lower level, where engines reside on one side, and the dangerous and toxic wastes reside on the other, guarded and secured. Then you have the second level, the one they’ve just entered, where the majority of the trash is stored in those endless halls of space. Some elect to spend their time there, in between the containers— mostly those who are able to trance or hibernate in some manner or another. A way to biologically skip the time. 

But for those who need some measure of utilities, the best bet is to come as close to the third level as possible. The crew eats, drinks and sleeps there. If you’re lucky, there are bathrooms and showers just in between the second and third level, for the lowest of the workers to use. 

The crafts are made to be manned for long periods of time. Geralt has heard of people who have been on a single garbage run for over three years. They go from planet to planet, picking up specific kinds of garbage that can be reused or destroyed in other parts of the galaxy. This one seems to be most focused on fuels— biological, chemical, quantisable, Geralt can smell all kinds —though they always have some bays open for more general waste that can be discarded off anywhere. 

Theirs is a service that goes beyond borders or politics. There have been so many planets and societies either destroyed or corrupted by their own waste, that there is an understanding among the galaxy that the disposal of materials is something that must be done with equity and generosity. No society is too small to have the right to ask a Garbagecraft coming to their docks. 

And of course, with any service that is for the good of all and has no motive other than necessity, the ships are perpetually understaffed. 

This is how they can carry people, as well as waste. For all intents and purposes, they all just got hired. 

“Are you going to claim a bunk?” Jaskier is saying, forcing Geralt to realise that he’s still walking beside him. “You’d have the right to it.”

“Hmm.” 

“That doesn’t actually illuminate anything.” 

Geralt shrugs. 

“You’d have to right to it. This place must be hell for you.” 

Geralt doesn’t respond. It isn’t that he’s wrong, but Geralt has no intention to wade into the utter mess that is the bunk claiming process. If you could call it a process. The Sketh will likely get her way, she’s shown her willingness to use her blaster in any manner she sees fit on the platform. But despite Jaskier’s idealistic declaration, the art of getting a bunk is much more about status than merely intimidation. 

There are rules in places like this— lives like these. Who is supposed to interact with whom. Where you can sit with, who you can drink with. There are three sizes of it: species, role, influence. Jaskier is going to be high up in all— humans tend to have the unerring ability to elevate themselves above others, even if it is just through sheer annoyance. His role as a Bard will gather him many accolades, as few people have an ability that is actually of use during their stay. And well, on influence. He’s shown his mastery of that on the platform as much the Sketh showed her volatile nature. Jaskier will have no trouble getting a bunk, nor gathering food, drink, protection, companionship, and all else you might need. 

Geralt, on the other hand— 

There is little consensus whether Ancienthunters even should be considered a species, rather than an augmented experiment with admittedly, some use to them. Their trade of killing the worst the universe has to offer earns them less than respect.  Many believe even the proximity to those creatures leaves the hunters tainted and prone to corruption. Influence is a hilarious afterthought, not even worth mentioning. He could use his sword, or Roach, to be convincing, in some sense of the word. But there must be more than a hundred people down below, and the moment the crew hears of a wayward Hunter, terrorizing the people, he’ll be outside the ship’s walls faster than he can blink. 

He won’t get a bunk. That’s just the way it is. 

Jaskier is about to say something else when they turn a corner, and the last cargo hall opens up before them. 

“Oh, fuck yes.” 

The last hall is where most people congregate, only because that is where the main airflow system resides. The big blades of ventilators cast a damp breeze through the area. Horrible still, but marginally better compared to the labyrinths down the hall. The further wall also gives access to the third level, and with a measure of relief Geralt can see small neon signs of pointing arrows with shower and toilet symbols. 

But the best thing— the reason why Jaskier sounded so utterly delighted, is half of the hall is empty. There are a few containers stacked to the side, and three large piles of miscellaneous crap greet them besides the entrance, but other than that, they have about half a hover-hockey stadium all to themselves. 

“They must be planning to do a pick up at The Grand Station,” Jaskier muses, smiling. “Oh this is going to make it suck so much less. Look! There are even cots put out-- those military folding beds, and there is a bar! Made from empty fuel drums, but still. They must have had a lot of stowaways here before.”

“Running low on funds,” Geralt says. It's the only reason why they actually would be catering to their technically illegal passengers. It belies a sense of desperation. Geralt’s gaze casts around the area, wondering dimly if there are any repairs the crew has been procrastinating due to lack of cash flow. Last thing they need is for the water to stop running, or worse still, for the engines to. 

“Or,” Jaskier says, eyebrows raised, “They figured we would appreciate not sleeping on the ground.”

Geralt snorts. 

“Ah, you’re one of those. The world is never dark enough in your eyes, is it?”

“I’m not the one keeping you here,” Geralt says, low and without inflection. 

Jaskier laughs like he made a particularly good joke. “You say so, but there is something magnetising about that perpetual frown. How does he manage it? Is there a limit to one's ability to glare on a daily basis? Can you get stuck like that?” 

“If you are going to ask me to smile—“ 

“I have more self preservation than that.” 

Geralt tilts his head, makes a noise that could be construed as questioning. 

“She wouldn’t have actually shot me. Much too messy.” 

“Hmm.” 

“Risk assessment is something I am particularly good at.” 

And yet you insist on talking to me, Geralt doesn’t say. 

As they walk, they’re coming nearer the open space where some of the travellers have already laid claim to a few of the cots. The Pervuvians have gathered about a dozen, laid them out in a circle, and are guarding them like dragons on a hoard of gold. A group of humans have set up a few closer to the makeshift bar. Two women, one with tight braids piled on top of her head and the other with long blond curls that must be fake, are already pouring drinks and cleaning plastic shot glasses. Yur and Decalons have gathered together, the neighbour species sharing their space much as their planets do, some even preening each other’s feathers and making quiet conversation. 

There are other little groups scattered around the area, and Geralt knows not to approach any. He stops at the last row of sporadically stacked containers. There are two that come from the wall on either side of a ladder, that leads to a small square grate hanging like a small balcony over them. It must have been once connected to a larger walkway, but Geralt can just see the haphazardly welded edges of it— maybe someone was too enthusiastic placing containers and broke through it. 

In any case, the space between the container stacks will serve as a nice place for Roach to stay, and she’ll stand vigil before the ladder. The grate won’t be comfortable, but it hangs right in the shadow— the rows of yellow industrial lights barely miss it — and from that height, he’ll be able to keep an eye on things. 

It takes Jaskier a few steps to notice that Geralt has turned right. 

“Where are you goin— really? This is where you’re going to stay?” 

“Didn’t ask.” 

“My judgements are always unsolicited and free of charge, and I think this is bullshit. You’re going to fall off of there, or at least break your back on that grate.” 

Geralt ignores him and folds out a water tray for Roach. He should have enough hydration packages for a week or so before needing to get tap water in the bathrooms. 

“Is being stubborn something they teach you or is it something innate.” 

Geralt shrugs. 

“I won’t be here if you’re gonna complain about not being able to sleep.” 

Geralt turns to him, looks him in the eye and says, “Good.” 

Jaskier throws his hands up. “I don’t know why I even— You know what. Fine. I’ll come back once you’re less—“ He makes a vague hand motion that encompasses Geralt’s general form, “— this.” 

“Good luck with that.” 

“Would booze help?” 

“Hmm.” 

“I’m choosing to take that as a yes because I desperately need some at this point.” 

“Sounds like it.” 

Jaskier makes another exasperated sound and begins to walk away. 

Geralt hesitates for a moment. Roach stares at him and then leans in to huff a warm breath in his face. 

Fine. 

“Jaskier.” 

The footsteps halt at once. 

“Yes?”

“Stay away from the old timer. Blue uniform. Wrinkles.” 

“What. Why?” 

“Just do it.” 

There is pause. 

“You’re not going to give me a straight answer, are you.” 

“Hmm.” 

Another, longer, silence. Pacing, and then a sudden chuckle. 

“You’re insufferable, you know that.” 

Geralt takes a deep breath, sighs it out through his nose. 

He braces himself when Jaskier continues speaking, but what he hears is: 

“I’ve never met a man so interesting and yet so reluctant to be at the same time in my goddamn life and I swear to you, I will figure you out.” 

And with that, Jaskier leaves. 

Geralt has absolutely no idea how to feel about any of it. 

Roach looks at him knowingly, presses her snout against his shoulder for a moment, and then turns to drink some water.

Geralt rolls his eyes and begins to climb the ladder. 

Up above he can see the commotion as the last wave of passengers arrive and the people begin to out divide the cots. He should be keeping an eye out for conflict, keeping track of who is willing to fight, who is impulsive, who is calculated. But Geralt finds himself watching as Jaskier makes his way through the crowd, slipping through all designated areas in brash ignorance of any social rules. Somehow he’s never met with a fist as he does so. Instead, wherever he goes, he draws out the species’ best approximation of a bemused smile. They seem unsure what to do with him at first, but one by one, he manages to lead them to an easy and harmless solution: to have fun. 

It doesn’t take very long before laughter cascades the hall. Rounds are had, songs are sung. 

Geralt sits above, iron pressing cold lines into his back, and watches. 

He thinks that once or twice, Jaskier looks up, and watches back. 

The merry sounds only let off when the ship gives a roaring rumble, and familiar alarms go off warning everyone aboard to take hold and sit tight. 

There are no belts in this place, but as everyone hunkers down, holding pipes and walls and each other, the ship lurches into motion. 

Geralt closes his eyes, trying to breath through the building pressure without throwing up. 

The ship tilts, dives lower, accelerates. Beds and people alike begin to list to the side. 

But with a sudden burst of force, the ship rightens and stabilises. The walls behind Geralt tremble still as different parts of the ship move and interlock with each other— going from the standard dock positions to long void travel. 

One of the platforms that had been folded up now shifts away, and opens up a small window on the opposite wall. Most everyone’s eyes are drawn to it one by one, as they slowly watch Zevos’ many purple moons becoming smaller and smaller, before the planet itself is swallowed mostly by the light of its sun. 

They have four days before that too, will disappear entirely. 

Geralt heaves a deep sigh. 

The journey has truly begun. 

[wolfmanmikie117]

Poema:

Honesty within masks.

The caregiver.

The entertainment.

The wallflower.

The life of the party.

The dreamer.

The considerate.

The understanding.

The lost.

The singer.

The memory.

The breathing.

The brain .

The pain the pain the pain.

Constant thoughts driving my mind in a million directions, I get lost parked staring back recollecting.

I seem dark cause honesty brings up reflection ,

starting out hearing keys turning tounges ignition.

I forget to breathe sometimes until I shift positions.

Wonderful the dreams within this mental prism,

I try so hard I burn up with the friction.

Withstanding crashlandings, and planning landscapes to reach the next hardly possible mission.

Always within the scope of the vivid eclectic vision,

seemingly random but mistakes are all that make it seem less than persistence.

I rarly catch myself heating up until my arm starts twitching,

dreaming so hard about what I envision,

heated by the fury that my passion has always been stronger than my confident convictions.

if only I had started sooner, sounds like someone accepting the role of a loser

and it wouldnt be staying true so, dream on and stay beautiful.

I choose to obnoxiously stare into these many potential futures, and hope with ridiculous faith that one day what I say will be understood,

and taken for what I mean too say,

until then Ill always be slighly paranoid or unsure.

i teeter towards lacking faith in those who lack faith in me,

its blasphemy but im not perfect neither are we

im working on it, forgivness is a blessing to both the giver and those who receive.

I hope one day Ill feel satisfied somebody truly understands me.

..Im feelzy today, something a bit sad happened and I understand everyones still ok, but i wish I had a chance to say what I wanted to say , now Im not sure what or if I should say..

anything

I know Im good for one thing

I love everything even the creative juices fueled by feeling heart break

Ill write to feel more than ok feels like floating immediately turning pain into growing,

its something its stoic, its that which I couldnt always explain.

Im not insane Im just in my brain.

I need space and music to deal with the bullshit I get confused with,

I use it as a tool with green to be patient and serene living imbetween the dream.

I should work towards pushing for better curriculum in establishments of teaching,

or loudly agree school or no schools kids should eat free who are any of us human beings, to deny a child or anybody lifes bare essential necessities.

why should anyone worry about pay if they're starved of humanity every day.

or to agree to starve a dude youve never seen whats fucking wrong with everyone equally treated with accountability in being a decent or terrible human being

some are so one sided that its all just the minorities thee fuck you mean do you even look into the wide lens of history

or you just like standing against the winds to be big an bad

bitch pleaseee

I cant freakin breathe ok leave me in peace Im just sing one of the million songs Ive collected hell continue too collect another million an still reach.

I dont know man but I wont lose hope just plan a new course of course theres more I havent finished breaking my jaw on the cracked open door

my fingers are peeling but there not peeling raw im still feeling raw whats wrong with this song its to long for some of yall i dont care what they shared they never truly saw i always wear the empathic stare because your pain Ive shared and probubly seen before

theres no shame in caring even when the carings not shared back part of why its ok to be entertaining sometimes you wear a mask ,just you staying true too you at the end of the day dont be afraid to occasionally peel it back relieving the strain of caring for pain that weight down more than your own back .

What Im saying is trying to make someone smile and pretending to be wild is honestly a weird way of having someones back back I do that and I support anyone I care for even if it means telling them thats not how your supposed to act

I would know I have preformed in shows i do sing music I did just write this poem preformance for me is somewhat of what i consider where its at oh did I mention I dabble in acrobatics, juggling , and I magically spin staff.

[patchdotexe]

explorers of arvus: port draavos / 3.23.20

and now for something different: the misadventures of the hope’s guard

so for the past 3 years ive been in an ongoing dnd5e campaign run by michael called Explorers of Arvus, which is super cool and super fun and i love it a whole lot! and back when i used twitter, i’d liveblog our sessions and that ended up being my way of note taking bc im otherwise quite terrible at it

after i stopped using twitter, that had the side effect of me not keeping notes anymore, so i kind of didnt remember any of the past couple sessions? especially because its hard for all 6 of us to have like, schedules that make sense, so there’s a lot of distance between each session.

and then i realized i can just take notes shitpost-liveblog style and then just… like, put it on tumblr or whatever. i’ll probably make like, ill probably port over my old liveblog threads onto here sometime but until then: we played d&d today! Time For Shenanigans

some quick context: we’re called the Hope’s Guard, but our unofficial silly name is Chunch Bunch the Dungeon Master is Michael aka Skalter aka @openlyeight​ Taure M’ea is a half-elf paladin played by Penn aka @penn-name​ and she is doing her best. Sieron Astora is a human (secretly half-orc) wizard played by Jorb aka @jorbs-palace​ and he’s basically the protagonist, and also starting to be gay for Charlie Charlie Wickfield is a halfling wild magic sorcerer played by Leos aka us and she’s known for being very chaotic, lighting things on fire, and having a high charisma score but no idea how to articulate anything Thorne is a half-orc warlock played by Solar aka @craftlands​ and he grew up in nonsense land aka the feywild and i love him, and also he’s fine-tuned to be able to snipe the shit out of anything within a 600 ft radius of him w/ eldritch blast Silje Cottonwood is a tabaxi blood hunter played by Nyx aka @patheticnyas​ and he is very edgy but also a cat and is VERY gay for Thorne our general goal is to stop some motherfucker called Halvkar / the God-King from… i dunno, being a huge bitch? he dumped zombies all over Arvus and that’s a problem. its late at night and i just played d&d for several hours

AND SO: WE PLAYED D&D FOR THE FIRST TIME OF THE DECADE

last time:

chunch bunch beat up the cult and now we’re FINALLY GOING TO ARVUS, YALL (also we picked up a cat) (his name is silly. its silje but literally pronounced like “silly”) sieron hatched a child! so like, we have a lil coatl friend now OH RIGHT SIERON HAS A MOM. sierons mom is here charlie and sieron attempted to have a gay scene but charlie went off script by being “[internal dial up noises]” when sieron said something really heartwarming we’re in fort draavos! and now we’re picking up sidequests and just kinda wanderin around. woo!

NOW, ON EXPLORERS OF ARVUS:

thorne and charlie discuss the morals of necromancy, and also the concept of “[charlie voice] necromancy racism”

EVERYONE IS BONDING WITH CHARLIE TODAY taure gave charlie the rune of wound closure and told her to stay safe and im :keralisweep:

accidentally started a cutscene bc charlie is very loud in a temple, oop. some priests(?) glared at us and walked off and im sure they wont stab us later! ingrid the adorkable friend has been having reoccuring nightmares about a dark figure w/ black robes standing above a bleeding platform high in the air over a swamp and summoning undead, so we’re gonna go hit that up! it MIGHT be like, a vision of the past, but even if so thats still pretty relevant also there’s a cool half orc lady named undril silvertusk who we’re gonna escort to camp vengeance! she’s awesome

thorne: i was in a dungeon once charlie: you got better! thorne: [points] i DID get better!

summer: can i roll to steal the laser gun? michael: if you find the dragon, you can try to steal the laser gun.

solar: guys, we have to protect the lesbians at all costs. and if one of them turns out to be an ancient gold dragon and curses my dick, then so be it

taure: dont worry, i wont let you die. ingrid: …okay :D!

THE HOT SPRINGS EPISODE IS FINALLY HAPPEN sorry thorne. charlie dabbed at a buff tiefling charlie is too fucking short for the hot springs. also she’s like 50% hair so she is Dying

time for food! we ran into an adventuring party that is apparently based off one michael was part of in another campaign, and i think the buff tiefling is his? also taure ordered samples of everything and then got Super plastered

thorne rolled really good to infodump hardcore about arvus artifacts and it is cute and id die for him oop michael asked for all our passive perception

omg theres an introduction of a ~mysterious character~ and originally theyre supposed to just sneak off but then michael realized they’d be genuinely interested in thorne’s infodumping so now theyre just Lurking

the opposite of a slow burn is a fast explosion

[everyone gets distracted quoting realtime fandub]

oops taure is depressed! ALSO SHE BROKE UP WITH SIGRA??? charlie is VERY bad at emotional support so she’s just “uhhhhhhhhh”, but thankfully thorne catches her before she faceplants into her potatoes CAN ANY OF US CARRY TAURE??? SHE’S IN FULL ARMOUR AND ALSO PASSED OUT

michael: what do you do with the bottle? summer: eat it

charlie get haircut! WITH SWORDS. her hair is now like midway down her back so its like, a bit shorter than when she first met everybody silje: do you want this [the hair he cut off]? charlie: UH WHAT WOULD I .. DO WITH IT… silje: …make a rope? charlie: yknow what i might as fucking well, who knows if id need spare hair

penn: i dont think taure is horny tho! summer: ITS OK, SILJE IS HORNY ENOUGH FOR ALL OF US

michael: Sieron, Str of 10- action hero Thorne, str of 14- twink nyx: silly, str of 13- cat solar: i guess thorne is a hunk. michael: thorne is a twunk summer: the t in thorne stands for twunk

taure, extremely drunk and sad: CHARLIE IM SORRY I MADE YOU BURN DOWN THAT LIBRARY (sieron and thorne carried her to bed and she ended up apologising a whole lot about literally everything)

jorb/sieron wants to know if charlie’s hair has any lingering wild magic nonsense!

thorne’s staring out the window! and also discord kept censoring solar when they were trying to say that THIS ENTIRE AREA IS WITHIN THORNE’S RANGE. solar: i could shoot someone at the thundering boar tavern [from our tavern] jorb: [as thorne] WRONG TAVERN, IDIOT!

solar called soldier:76 a cornfucker and it blindsided me so hard

michael: silje cottonwood, dark edgy blood hunter. [flops over on camera] NOTICE MEEEEEEEE

WE’RE NOW MAKING NONSTOP FORT DRAAVOS PUNS. i had to go clean pepper’s litter and when i came back they were STILL GOING

thorne pets silje on accident bc silje ws doing an anime squat on the balcony’s railing and is now having a crisis of “is it appropriate to pet the furry?” AND ALSO SILLY IS VERY SOFT

jorb & michael: [say something cursed] summer: [looking around frantically] I DONT HAVE AN IMPROVISED WEAPON solar: Allow Me. [brandishes baseball bat on camera]

[itsdaniclayton]

Final Twilight thoughts

I finished rereading the four main books for the first time in almost 11 years and let me tell yall it was a Ride and I have a lot of thoughts so I don’t know how long this is going to be but I can get carried away easily so beware.

The first book is not as bad as the internet makes it seem. Overall the saga is a Mess and there are So Many Wrong things but the first book is actually quite enjoyable. I haven’t read many YA romance books but I don’t think it’s too far off. The second book is not that bad either but that might be completely personal because I’ve always liked New Moon best. It goes to hell after that but some parts are so unintentionally funny that it kept me reading. Most of the memes come from the movies so I cannot wait to watch them.

Bella and Edward are so fucking dull, I cannot believe they’re the main characters and we’re supposed to love them. Bella gets better in Breaking Dawn but I think it’s only because 90% of her personality is being horny. I can’t say aything good about Edward tbh.

Their relationship is Not Good. I know Edward is worried that something will happen to Fragile Human Bella but he’s so possessive and their relationship is so toxic and he still won’t let vampire Bella alone for a minute and ew. Also they said I love you in like their first date.

Related to the second point, there are So Many great female characters and the main character is like the absolute worst of them all. We have Alice, Rosalie, Esme, Leah on one hand and Bella in the other. Like I said, Bella gets better in the last book and even more when she becomes a vampire but still, I just can’t care about her when there are other characters that are so much more interesting.

Alice is literally the best character and that’s that on that. I am personally offended about how little she appears and that she leaves twice. I just love her so much and I hate that her entire backstory is in another book and that we get almost nothing from the four main books. I absolutely love the mental image of her driving a stolen yellow porsche at full speed through Italy.

Rosalie is a Queen. She went and killed the men who raped her just for revenge and she wore a wedding dress when going after her fiancé and leaving him for last so that he’d know she was coming, truly Iconic. Also she’s the best mechanic of the Cullens and that’s a great mental image to have.

I can’t say much about the rest of the Cullens other than I still cannot process the fact that Carlisle was turned at 23. I know he claims to be older in front of humans but like, imagine a man in his mid/late 20s being an extremely skilled doctor and having adopted five teenagers, it’s insane.

Jacob is the absolute worst and I can believe he got votes in my little poll, I’m so sorry for everyone who has Jacob as a favorite character.

The Clearwaters are simply amazing and I love them all so much, rip to Harry who died as a plot device. Seth is my son and I’d die for him, and Leah could kill me and I’d thank her. It does bother me that Leah’s entire story revolves around Sam though.

I don’t like Charlie at all, like I’m sorry but if a grown up man cannot make one (1) decent meal for himself and depends on the women around him to take care of the meals and chores, literally all he does is fishing, and he’s a cop, he’s not good.

Again, I don’t care much about Bella and it is kinda very annoying that we are introduced to many cool things but are shown only very little about them because Bella is too busy being all clingy and horny. This happens a lot but I’m particularly talking about the last third of Breaking Dawn when all the vampires come over. I want to know more about them!! We shouldn’t need a vampire guide because they’re just introduced by name and one line with their special power if they have one!! I didn’t need the guide this time because I was already familiar with them but I think the first time I needed to go back constantly. The point is, the vampires from around the world were extremely interesting and I would have liked to know more about them. Especially the ones that were introduced before that moment. I know the Denali coven is given a little bit more depth but Peter and Charlotte are first mentioned in Eclipse and we’re not even given a physical description of them.

I have the theory that Bella is an unreliable narrator basing myself on the fact that she finds literally every person/vampire/wolf she meets beautiful.

I think Stephenie Meyer didn’t create a very solid concept of what vampires are like in this universe. They only drink blood, sparkle in the sun, don’t eat, don’t sleep, don’t sweat, can’t cry, their hearts don’t beat, but they can impregnante humans. How does that make sense? How do vampires have sex? Like do they have the bodily functions necessary for it?

Finally here are the results of my little poll. For those who haven’t seen it, I just asked people who their favorite character was. Thank you everyone who voted! The results were predictable but also quite surprising (“other” consists of characters with less than five votes).

[hwangskz]

willy witch-ka | witch! wendy

!!! this is a collab w @chocolate-chip-rookies !! u can see the post for her moodboard right here !! (also why r there so many Ws in the title....)

• ur head's kind of spinning as u open ur eyes, slowly blinking

• u lift urself up from the ground

• (COMPLETELY ignoring the fact that ur on the GROUND... great job, y/n.)

• and ur a bit ?? confused ??

• last time u checked u DIDN'T MOVE TO ANOTHER HOUSE

• so uh

• are u just..... in a stranger's room..??

• "oh, so you're up."

• u turn around and

• OH MY GOD WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN LOOK AT HER EYES-

• uh

• are human eyes supposed to.......shine...........

• and that too in red??

• ur first thought : ok what the fuck

• ur second thought : ?? WHAT THE FUCK ??

• ok but on a serious note ARE U DEAD

• this must be heaven

• i mean look at this beautiful woman....

• not be gay but DAMN U R FEELING THE GAY™

• damn ur friends were right when they said u'll go to heaven-

• "this is my place..not heaven. and i'm a witch, just so u know."

• ok maybe they were wrong u went to hell probs

• the Beautiful But Unknown Woman sits down on the foot of the bed, and turns around to face u

• "i was on a hunt for more materials to make up a potion, when i came across ur body-"

• ":0 am i..... dead...."

• "-well, no. u were unconscious. i suppose u were picking fruits? because i had also found a wild dragonfruit lying beside ur limp arm, and half of it was gone."

• "....it looked good so i decided to try it, to make a fruit salad for my friends and i to eat for dinner, if it was good enough."

• "it was poisonous, y/n."

• "i didn't know that- aND HOW DO U KNOW MY NAME???????"

• she sighs (damn was she stressed)

• "i'm a witch?????? i do MAGIC"

• ".......... right sorry"

• she sighs and u could swear she looked tired

• "are u like..okay tho? u seem tired..maybe u should be resting instead"

• she turns to face u, eyebrows raised as she points at herself after looking back and checking if u were talking to some random person out there

• "me?"

• "obviously"

• she laughs, waving her hand as she shakes her head

• "no no !!!! it's ok !!! we witches are like...immortal and all that so it's cool don't worry about me~"

• u nod ur head even tho u knew she was lying

• but it's ok it's better than arguing with this random stran-

• u don't.......u haven't even asked her name yet.......

• and this woman SAVED ur life

• (istg y/n)

• "so uh !! what's ur name"

• "wendy !!!"

• she grins widely as she answers, but quickly calmed down and smiled at u while continuing

• "what's urs!!"

• "i'm y/n- wait don't u alrdy know that"

• "..........."

• yall talked through the day, but soon it was night time

• and GOD this woman is so good at catching u off-guard

• u were staring out the window, thinking how the HELL are u supposed to get out and go back to ur lil cottage thingy where ur friends are, while wendy had gone inside to get some water

• when suddenly

• "what are u looking at-"

• "AAAAAAAAAA-"

• "Y/N IT'S ME !! FOR THE FIFTEENTH TIME IT'S ME PLS STOP YELLING SOMEONE WILL THINK SOMEONE GOT MURDERED OR SOMETHING"

• "right sorry"

• "what were u looking at tho"

• "how am i gonna return?"

• this ..... this completely slipped off her mind actually

• she's just so !!!!!!! comfortable being around u !!!!!!! and usually she makes a bad impression on ppl but u :( ur just so easygoing and she would love to spend more time w u

• but she knows that time doesn't wait and she will have to eventually let u go someday

• "is it okay if i drop u tomorrow early in the morning? it's too late rn to go out.."

• "sure!"

• but the next morning it just got even harder to let her go :(

• "fuck YOU feelings :(" - you, mumbling to urself

• but she made sure to give u a lil smthg before yall say goodbye

• "here u go."

• wendy handed u a chocolate bar, that had some other fruits inside it

• ....it smelled of dragonfruit ...?

• "it'll be a memory of us meeting!! i only infused it w the taste bcs i couldn't include the actual ingredient bcs it seemed to ruin the rest of the recipe somehow..but BECAUSE im a witch!!!!!!!! i used my powers and got u a chocolate bar that'll come back even after u've had it!!!!!"

• "that chocolate is like immortal...omg.."

• "like our friendship!!!!!!!!"

• and so, even after u moved back to the city, u were always reminded of wendy

• and sure u thought at one point

• that like

• it's probably the end of ur friendship

• not exactly "end"

• but mainly bcs u couldn't contact her

• and sure, it's rlly cool that the chocolate keeps coming back, but it's still a spell

• it won't last long

• and it scares u, bcs u would love to spend more time w wendy

• she's ur "willy witchka"

• gives u lifetime supply of chocolates, has superpowers, meets u

• but that one-time-meeting is the last meet

• and it saddens u bcs yea sure "willy witchka" is a cute nickname and wendy probably knows abt this nickname through her superpowers and is (probably) laughing at it rn

• u don't want it to be a one time thing

• "class, i would like you to meet our new student"

• u lift ur head, only to be shocked by the appearance of the person

• "hello! i'm son wendy, a new student. please take care of me!"

• she bows and

• wait

• did

• did she just ..... wink at u......

• :0000000000

• she takes the empty seat that's located beside u, while u continued to stare at her

• "please don't call me willy witchka anymore" - wendy, whispering while leaning towards u

• how to hold in ur laugh by y/n l/n

• "is it because it's an embarrassing nickname or because u don't want this to be a one-time-meeting thing?"

• "both"

[frightgothcar]

Gayrea 51 Chapter 2: Not the weirdest thing I’ve heard this week.

Hey yall, thanks for the great feedback on chapter 1 of this fic, I’m super motivated and excited to write this for yall!! Thanks to everyone who’s encouraged me to work on this! It’s been a tough couple of weeks with me, so this chapter is a little late, but I hope you enjoy! (You can also read it on ao3 here)

Previous / Next

“Nice to meet ya, Wes. How about you go ahead and pull that lever so I can get out of this hell-hole.” Danny gestured to the control panel Wes was admiring earlier. 

Wes’ hand drifted towards the lever, trembling ever so slightly. “Wait a minute,” He stopped and lowered his eyes at Danny, “How do I know you’re not just trying to trick me?” 

Danny groaned and pressed his face up against the glass. “You have my word as a government experiment?” He fluttered his pure white eyelashes. “What, do you need a please too?”

“... Yes.”

“What?”

“I’ll only let you out if you say please.”

“Aw c’mon, that’s so stupid-”

“Or, I could just alert the guards right now.” He glanced at the control panel again before deciding on a large red button.

Danny snorted and raised an eyebrow, “You realize you’ll be in even worse trouble than I will if you do that.”

“You think I care if I die? Ha! Do you really want to squander your one chance at escape because you didn’t want to say please?”

Danny scowled then grinned, “Damn, Wes, I’m impressed. Alright. May I please be let out?”

Wes pulled down the lever before he had a chance to hesitate. All the lights in the hallway began flashing red. An alarm blared from the intercom. Danny reached through the glass, grabbed his arm and yanked him into a wall. Oh god, was this really how he was gonna go? Beaten to death by an alien? He held his breath and waited for the impact, but it never came. He cracked open an eye and realized they were outside. Danny grinned up at him. 

“Surprise!” he exclaimed before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he slumped against Wes’ chest. 

“Oh, god what just happened?” Wes whispered to himself, his arms instinctively catching Danny and shifting his unconscious form into a bridal carry. The alarm was still blaring, it was only a matter of time before someone realized what was happening and took him out with a well-placed shot. Without giving the situation a second thought he took off, towards the gate. As he got closer to the front of the building he realized something seemed off. The previously endless rain of bullets had stopped, the noise replaced by the triumphant shouts of the mob. The gate was ripped off its hinges as more and more people flooded into the compound, destroying everything that stood in their way with sheer force. 

It was almost beautiful, the chaos of it all. But Wes didn’t have time to admire the sight. He shifted Danny in his arms and began pushing through the mass of people, most of which made way after seeing what (or rather, who) he was carrying. He felt as though he was back in school almost, moving through the desert like pushing through droves of Freshman on his way to class. The crowd finally began to thin out, giving Wes enough space to break into a sprint. His mind was so focused on getting out of there he barely even reacted when he reached his truck, automatically unlocking the doors and settling Danny inside. His door wasn’t even shut all the way when he peeled away from his parking spot, weaving through parked cars and coolers to the main road. He barreled down the stretch of concrete, at least 20 miles over the speed limit. His only thought was to get as far away from there as possible. 

Once he reached the freeway he began to calm down. He turned on the radio and fell into a sort of lull as he drove. His mind remained on autopilot, stopping to get gas once then driving through the night. Every once in awhile a memory of bloodsoaked hands or flashing lights would try to get through but he shut them out, instead focusing on the road and the static-y pop music blaring from the radio. A hand landed on his shoulder and he jerked to the side, almost veering off the side of the road. He pulled into the shoulder and glared at his passenger with bloodshot eyes.

“What?” He hissed.

“Are you okay?” Danny asked, his sarcastic demeanor was gone, replaced with genuine worry, “When did you last sleep?”

Wes shrugged and closed his eyes to shut out the rising sun, “Does it matter?”

“Well, duh. You look like shit and I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be driving if you’re… compromised.”

“What do you know, Alien?” 

Danny rolled his eyes, “Clearly more than you, Human. Why don’t we take a break and then you can take us- Where are we going?”

Wes shrugged and dragged a hand across his face, “No fucking clue.”

Danny groaned, “Great. Out of all the people that could’ve busted me out it had to be you.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” He shot back. 

“It means,” Danny propped his elbows up on the center console and stared into Wes’ eyes, “That you are fucking stupid! What kind of idiot breaks into a highly guarded government facility without a fucking plan?”

Danny collapsed back into his seat, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring out the window. The sun was just beginning to come up, sending a pale orange light across his face, emphasizing his cheekbones. It was almost enough to make Wes forget about the angry words he’d just said to him. Almost.

“Not very fucking grateful, are we?” He bit back, “ I saved your goddamn skin and I don’t even get a fucking thank you?”

“Considering you’re probably going to get us killed, no.” 

“Great. Fucking great. Well then, what’s your brilliant plan, Mr. Smartass?”

Danny turned back to Wes and shrugged. All the anger drained from his face, leaving him with a more neutral expression. “I dunno, believe it or not, I’m not exactly an expert with the outside world.” 

Wes sighed, “I suppose that makes sense… you’re right. I should get some sleep, I’m sure this whole situation will make more sense in the morning.”

“Afternoon.” Danny corrected.

“Huh?” 

“Well, it’s already morning, so if you sleep the typical 8 hours, you’ll be waking up in the afternoon.”

“Pretty bold of you to assume I have a normal sleeping schedule. See you in the morning.” Wes reclined his seat and turned on his side, facing the door.

“So that's just it? You’re leaving me, a guy you met like 3 hours ago alone in your car for an undetermined amount of time with no guarantee that I’m not gonna just drive off without you?”

“That depends. Can you drive?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Cool. Try not to die without me, see you in the morning.” Wes began fake snoring obnoxiously loud, his eyes squeezed shut. 

Danny rolled his eyes, making a mental note to get back at him for their whole exchange and looked out the window. It had been a while since he’d seen the sun, and he’d really forgotten how beautiful it was. The pictures online never really did it justice. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wes woke to a knocking on his car window. A police officer stood on the other side of the glass. A scowl painted her face, her eyes were covered by dark sunglasses, but if Wes had to guess he’d say they held the same disdain. He sat up his chair and rolled down the window. 

“How can I help you, officer?” He said, anxiety twinging his voice.

“Are you aware that you’re parked illegally?” She looked him up and down, sizing him up.

“Um, well, uh-” He stuttered. 

“Actually, Ma’am, our engine shorted out,” A voice came from behind him. Wes’ eyes went wide. Not only were they parked illegally, but he was harboring an alien prisoner. They were so screwed. “Me and my friend here were on our way to a cosplay contest and got a little lost. We’re waiting on triple-A, but they’re taking a while. W- William decided to take a little nap to keep his energy up while I waited on them.”

Danny handed the Officer Wes’ phone that he had somehow managed to not only steal but unlock in the short time Wes had been asleep. She lowered her glasses to the bridge of her nose and glanced at the screen. 

“Everything seems to be in order,” She nodded begrudgingly, “Do you boys need a lift?”

“No thank you, Ma’am,” Danny smiled warmly, showing off a pair glistening pair of white fangs “We’ll be fine.”

They waited for the officer to get back into her patrol car, talk to her partner, then drive off before talking again.

“What the fuck was that?” Wes glared.

“Gee, thanks for saving our asses, Danny, you’re so brave and handsome-” Danny imitated Wes in a squeaky voice.

“Yeah, sure, thanks for almost getting us killed!” 

“Oh, really, and you had a much better plan than me how?” 

“I dunno! But you didn’t have to talk to her! You should’ve hid, I’m surprised she didn’t kill us! After what happened yesterday we have to be careful, there's probably a fucking SWAT team after you!” Wes shouted.

“As far as I’m concerned, there is no ‘us’.” Danny crossed his arms, “Plus they wouldn’t kill me. I’m too valuable. Maybe you, but not me.”

“How reassuring,” Wes said dryly. 

“Now, let's get out of this godforsaken desert!” He commanded.

“It’s too fucking early for this.” Wes groaned and hit his head against the steering wheel with a soft thunk.

“Oh, no, you are NOT falling asleep on me again!” Danny scolded, “We are going to eat some food and then we’re gonna go our separate ways. Sound good to you?”

Wes nodded, slowly raising his head and starting the car. “But before we go anywhere, you’re gonna need a change of outfits, my friend.”

“What’s wrong with what I have on?” Danny asked.

Wes drove onto the freeway, “Other than looking like you just escaped space prison, nothing.” 

“Well I don’t see how a costume change will make all of this,” he gestured to himself, “less suspicious, but by all means, try.”

“You really have no faith in me, huh?”

“Nope,” Danny said, popping the p. 

Wes pulled into the next exit, stopping at a Shell station. The neon sign flickered, as if it was winking at them, warmly inviting whatever visitors happened to pass through the abandoned stretch of road. He climbed out of the cab of his truck and stretched, his bones cracking loudly. Danny followed suit, swinging open the passenger door and planting his bare feet on the hot pavement, then immediately yelping and retracting them, opting to instead float a few inches off the ground. 

“What the fuck?” he murmured, staring at the ground.

“Oh, right, shoes. Add that to the list.” Wes remarked, reaching into the bed of his truck and pulling out a black duffel bag. He slung it over his shoulder and walked towards the small convince store. The glass door swung open with a cheery little jingle. Wes held open the door for Danny, placing his arm around his shoulders and gently pushing him so his feet touched the white tile floor.

“Humans don’t float,” he whispered.

Danny shifted uncomfortably, rising onto his tip-toes to regain some of the height he’d lost, “Fine.”

Much to Danny’s annoyance, Wes kept his arm around his shoulders as he guided him effortlessly past the lone employee, who clearly wasn’t getting paid enough to deal with the rather strange pair, and into the bathroom. Once the door was locked, he unceremoniously dropped his bag to the floor. He spent a few minutes scrubbing his hands and arms clean of the blood from the previous day off, which felt almost as good as a shower. Once he had dried himself off he knelt down to go through his clothes.

“I’m kinda broke, so you’ll have to borrow some of my clothes for now,” Wes said, unzipping his bag and pulling out a pair of wrinkled jeans for himself, pulling them over his shorts as he continued talking. “Though, baggy clothes might work better, considering the whole blue skin thing.”

He dug through the bag for a few seconds, then handed Danny a Black hoodie, blue jeans, and a pair of well-worn flipflops. 

“I’m gonna give you some privacy, open the door when you’re done, okay?”

“Huh? What, why?” Danny asked as Wes reached for the door handle.

He turned back toward Danny, “Because you’re changing?”

“Oh, this is a cultural thing, got it.” Danny nodded, grinning like he knew a secret, “I was worried you didn’t want to see me naked there for a minute.”

“And that’s my cue to leave.” Wes slammed the door shut behind him, his face dusted with a soft pink blush. He didn’t have to wait long, not even 5 minutes had passed when the door cracked open. He walked into the bathroom, the door automatically locking behind him as it shut. 

“Need any help?” he asked, trying his best not to stare at Danny’s bare legs. Apparently the jeans hadn’t been a good fit, hopefully, he was wearing underwear.

“This is stupid.” Danny groaned from under the hood of Wes’ oversized jacket. The garment covered him like a cloak, drooping around his shoulders and falling about to his knees. The heavy black material held a fairly unpleasant smell of Cheeto dust, sweat and an excessive amount of deodorant, as if someone had worn it for a few days without washing it. His antenna were tucked behind his ears, his eyes glowed softly under the hood. Even the way he walked was distinctly non-human, he almost glided across the ground, though a bit more clumsily than he had before in a pair of much too large dollar store flip flops. “Nobody is ever gonna buy this.”

Wes adjusted the hood to cover a bit more of Danny’s face, “Oh, trust me, if they’re as ignorant as the people in my hometown, nobody’ll bat an eyelash.”

He raised an eyebrow, “And if they aren’t?”

Wes shrugged, “That whole cosplay excuse was pretty smart, we could just use that again.” He paused for a minute, “Hey, come to think of it, how’d you even learn about cosplay? Aren’t you supposed to be some sort of Super Solider?”

“I wouldn’t say Super Solider, however flattering that is,” Danny’s eyes seemed to flash a tad brighter when he rolled them, “And, even though it’s none of your business, I have an internet connection. I know things.”

“Huh. Not the weirdest thing I’ve heard this week.” He shrugged. “So, uh, the pants didn’t fit?”

“I think this is as good as it gets. Wanna grab some breakfast?”

“Not until you put on pants.” 

Danny huffed, not in the mood to argue, he grabbed the jeans off the floor and pulled them on roughly, one leg at a time. He was definitely not wearing underwear. He held them up around his hips to stop them from falling down. 

“Ok, I can deal with this.” Wes thought out loud, digging through his bag and pulling out two long ratty shoelaces knotted together. “Alright, so if I just…”

He strung the dirty yellow chord through Danny’s belt loop, pulled it tight and tied it in a bow in front of his stomach. “Here, you can let go now.”

Danny released the faded blue denim, allowing the hoodie to cascade back down to it’s resting place right above his knees. The pants slid down to his hips, but didn’t sag any further. The pant legs ballooned over his feet, making him look vaguely like a toddler in footie pajamas. Wes squatted down and rolled the legs up to Danny’s ankles, leaving them still covering most of his feet, but not as much of a tripping hazard. 

“That's about as good as it gets,” Wes said, standing up and looking Danny up and down. “Ready for some food? Actually... come to think of it, what do you eat, anyway?” 

“I’m not entirely sure. I have pretty large canines, so maybe meat? I doubt nutrition sludge is very popular among the populace.”   

“You’d be surprised,” Wes deadpanned, “Ok, I have…” 

He dug through his pocket, depositing a five-dollar bill, two ones, and six pennies. “Oh, score! I think there’s a McDonalds around the corner, we can get whatever looks good to you, yeah?”

“Sounds fine,” Danny responded, pulling open the door to the single-stall bathroom and stepping back into the gas station convenience store. The attendant didn’t even glance up from her tabloid as the two of them walked out the door, only looking up once they’d left, catching a glimpse of Danny’s feet hovering about a half-inch over the parking lot. 

Wes slung his bag into the back of the truck, got into his car, and put his key into the ignition. 

“Shit!” He swore, “We’re almost out of gas. Shit!” 

Danny’s stomach grumbled loudly, “Can’t it wait? I think my stomach is eating itself from the inside out.”

Wes groaned, but got back out of the car, locking it behind him and taking his duffel from the bed of the trunk. He opened the passenger door for Danny and led him across the street. He didn’t bother to look both ways, a bad habit picked up from growing up in the calm neighborhoods and safe streets of Amity Park. 

Entering the McDonalds was like entering another dimension. Although the sun shone brightly outside, none filtered in through the large windows. The room was lit by yellow LED lights, the ones by the bathrooms flickering menacingly. A chill went down Wes’ spine. Something felt off about this place. Danny pranced inside, seemingly oblivious to the eerie atmosphere in the restaurant. 

“What’s that smell?” Danny asked dreamily, following his nose up to the counter. 

“Uh, food,” Wes answered, shaking his head to snap himself out of his trance. “Go ahead and order, I’m gonna go check something.”

Wes pressed the wadded up bills into Danny’s hand. Danny giggled like a toddler and began muttering to himself while studying the glowing menu above the counter. Wes followed, looking behind the counter suspiciously. Nobody was in the restaurant, the kitchen was completely empty. Actually, he walked towards one of the gaping windows and surveyed the parking lot. Nothing. The only car in sight was his red truck and what he assumed was the gas station attendant’s blue jeep. 

“Hey, Danny,” Wes said, turning around, “I don’t think-”

Danny was sitting on one of the tables in the kitchen, scarfing down a hamburger. He paused mid-bite and looked at Wes. 

“Whha?” His voice was muffled by the food, the action sent soggy morsels flying everywhere. Wes held up a finger, getting ready to tell Danny off when he decided, to hell with it. He had already broken the law once (or twice) today, what could a little food heist hurt? He vaulted over the counter and pulled another cheeseburger from where it had been abandoned. It seemed like the employees had left in a hurry, half-filled out orders sat in rows on the prep table. Some of them were still warm. Wes selected a two double cheeseburger meal and hoisted himself up on the table next to Danny, who had finished his burger and was starting on a large fry. He was eating it like it was all one thing, holding the wrapper and biting all the fries at once. 

“Have at least a little class!” Wes said, grabbing Danny’s wrist, “What kind of sociopath eats fries like that?”

“Me,” Danny answered, spraying flecks of fry all over Wes’s face, “Now hand ‘em over, I’m hungry!”

“Not until you start acting normal!” Wes snorted, plucking one of Danny’s fries from the container and chomping down on it. 

Danny made a screeching noise, not unlike an angry seagull and dove for the food. Despite only weighing somewhere in the low hundreds, Danny was crazy strong, easily pinning Wes to the floor and snatching his meal. He leaned into Wes’ face and hissed, showing off the chunks of food stuck in his teeth. He went back to sitting on the table, his legs crossed and one of his clawed hands clutching Wes’ burger. He stuck his tongue out as Wes got up, dusted himself off, and sat back down on the table, then took another bite of the fries. Wes stuck his tongue out in return and grabbed the second burger, wolfing it down in record time.

A siren shrieked in the distance, Wes flinched. “What the fuck is that?”

Danny shrugged as he ate a chicken nugget, “Who cares?”

Another bout of piercing sounds broke out, louder now.

“I dunno Danny, it sounds like it’s getting closer, I’m getting a bad feeling. Let’s go…” Wes began shoving food into a bag, resisting the urge to cover his ears with his hands.

An impossibly bright light pierced through the window, another siren began, right outside this time. Danny shoved another handful of chicken nuggets and grabbed Wes’ arm, pulling him towards the employee’s entrance. As they stepped back into the heat Danny’s form began to flicker, eventually turning entirely transparent. Wes decided not to ask questions, instead allowing the (invisible) hand to continue pulling him away from the restaurant, looping around about 20 black cars pulled in a circle around the McDonalds. His legs began to falter as he saw armed men climbing out of the cars, surrounding the building. One man began to shout into a megaphone. Wes’ blood rushed in his ears, his vision was blurring in fear. Danny might’ve been see-through, but there was no guarantee Wes would be getting out of this alive. 

“C’mon, Wes, pick it up, do you want to die?” Danny hissed, yanking Wes’ wrist, forcing him to take another step. 

“He’s not in there!” A voice sounded, “The tracker’s pointed over here!”

Wes froze. The man was pointing straight at him. He lifted his gun. It was at that moment he knew, he was going to die.