#the image of light just waking up in a timeline where he is confronted by near and is mid speech of saying hes kira.

[dea-thynote]

Death note au idea where light just keeps time travelling back at random timelines and now he has to figure out how to get out of the loop(?) Before he goes insane.

Like the first time it happens, after he dies at the staircase, he wakes up and its the day he got the death note. At first he was confused and terrified, but still decides to use the death note since he believes that this might be a second chance for him. Now he plans to do it much more carefully. He was able to throw off L so many times by avoiding to make the mistakes, the slip ups, that he did on the previous timeline. The game of out witting each other. But he was caught again because he let raye penber and naomi misora live. He dies and wakes up again but at his classroom.

He wakes up disoriented, after all he got shot again but not by matsuda but by his father. He remembers the death note, looks around and doesn't see it fall. He thinks that maybe it's not the date yet when the death note falls. But when he hears the news about the killings. The heart attacks and thinks that someone else now has the death note and they're not just killing criminals but also innocent people. Eventually he teams up with L, to catch kira. They bond, often throwing theories at each other and fighting. Although, he slips up and mentions something that makes him look suspicious, L starts to get suspicious of him. I'm thinking he either gets executed or he dies because of the other kira.

Then he wakes up, and he's behind the prison bars, looking around he eventually realizes that he's at the time where he asked to be confined. He hears the speaker open, and it's L, asking him if he's alright. He glares at the camera, almost snarling before stopping himself. This isn't the L from the previous timeline. If he is kira in this timeline he doesn't want to dig his grave even further. He hears ryuk complaining and moaning about being bored and also apples. Should he risk it? He doesn't know if when he gives up the death note would he still remember the previous timelines but he doesn't, he might convict himself of being kira.

(Alright, my brain is fried, I have no clue how to continue this. But if u get the idea its probably a slow burn lawlight (or not?) Where after looping from different timelines, he slowly becomes crazy and for some reason L, despite not knowing about the looping, is the one that keeps him sane. The one that somehow changes their actions. Not predictable. That when he goes back from the timeline where he's dead, he couldn't even enjoy it. Even after beating near at his own game, he couldn't enjoy it. That's why when he goes back to the timeline where light stops mid speech of explaining the connection of kira killings to yotsuba, he just stares at L. In disbelief, and without hesitation, hugs him or something. )

That is all, thank you.

[sroloc--elbisivni]

Bunnyguard master post

July 1, 2023: in the spirit of shameless self-promotion here's a collective post for the Usagi Yojimbo/Rottmnt fusion Leosagi fic series I've been working on this year. somewhat celebratory because 1. I'm very excited to have hit the halfway mark on this project 2. my birthday is later this month and I can do a little treat for myself if I want 3. it's my first day off in ages and I can spend my time luxuriantly and frivolously. Prompts taken from Year of the OTP; titles from Richard Siken "Litany in which certain things are crossed out."

Post last updated December 22, 2023

Bunnyguard verse premise in three bullet points:

The cast of Usagi Yojimbo are embedded in the Hidden City

Draxum helped raised the turtles

Usagi gets hired as a bodyguard for Leo a month after the Krang invasion

January - "missionfic" - something other than the desperation Usagi does his best to not embarrass himself while Leo tries to do the same and fails. (the hero shifts from one foot to the other)

February - "mermaid au" - no one will ever want to sleep with you A first meeting sparks a series of increasingly dumb and desperate decisions. (the repeated image of the lover destroyed)

March - "mutual pining" - your heart, and it is painted shut We skip ahead in the timeline to the point where Usagi has decided he's going to just quietly pine forever and Leo stops for five seconds of self-examination and immediately starts planning his wedding. (the same big and little words, all spelling out desire)

April - "No, I'm not dating your brother" - There is something underneath the floorboards After a series of shenanigans, (some of) Usagi's misconceptions are corrected and Leo eventually gets a full night's sleep. (bruised and ruined, you poor sad thing)

May - "accidental pet/child acquisition" - Quit milling around the yard and come inside Usagi uses his day off to be with his family, including his son, and Leo takes a turn being the babysitter instead of the babysat. (Inside your head you hear a phone ringing.)

June - "you're not what I expected" - These terms from the lower depths After being chased by a demon, Leo and Usagi end up in the bones of both of their pasts, one after the other. (I have told you where I'm coming from, so put it together.)

July - "enemies to lovers" - recently we have had our difficulties Leo screws up, Usagi gets hurt, and they have to work together to fix it. (the moment of epiphany, in gold light)

August - "au of your choice" (free space) - close enough to see the blue rings Usagi fights a dragon and Leo has a bunch of minor problems happen all at once. (But it doesn't work, these erasures, this constant refolding of the pleats)

September - "hurt/comfort" - Are you there, sweetheart? Do you know me? An unexpected attack forces everyone involved to reexamine their circumstances. (Love always wakes the dragon and suddenly flames everywhere)

October - "identity shenanigans" - I guess I can tell you that now. Our heroes go on a date to a mob warehouse and find out things that were not exactly secrets but definitely unknown. (I walk through your dreams and invent the future)

November - "be careful what you wish for" - You want a better story. Who wouldn't? A confrontation, a choice, a number of things undone. (It should mean laughter, not poison.)

December - "forgiveness" - so maybe I wanted to give you something Our heroes reckon with their actions, and choose to try again. (I want more seats reserved for heroes. Dear Forgiveness, I saved a plate for you.)

[film-in-my-soul]

The devil Judge promt "You love him too, don't you?" - please, I am really enjoying all your ficlets

--REQUESTS TEMPORARILY CLOSED--

(I originally was going to go with Yo-han and Soo-hyun, when I realized there was a second option >:3)

Waking up is the last thing that Kim Ga-on wants to do. There’s a throbbing behind his eyes, which are firmly squinted shut, and he’s pretty sure whatever sticky wetness is sluggishly crawling from his temple across his cheek and then down his nose is not sweat.

Eventually, he does have to come up from the black numbness being unconscious had offered to him.

When Ga-on allows his eyelids to flutter open he regrets it immediately, groaning softly in pain. The room he’s in is blessedly dark but now he has to face reality. He’s tied to a chair, each arm strapped down with cords digging into his skin from where his jacket had been removed. His legs are also secured as well, the material of the rope chafing his ankles as he tests their looseness. When Ga-on lifts his head from where his chin was touching against his chest he has to fight down a wave of nausea that follows, vision swimming.

Ga-on takes three deep breaths to steady himself before looking around the small space. He’s able, with the dim light, to identify it as a storage room of some kind, maybe even a warehouse. There are two high windows and the floor and walls appear to be made of cement. From his limited range, however, Ga-on can’t see anyone else with him.

The man thinks back, searching through still murky memories for an explanation of why he’s in this current situation but all that comes is fog before a sharp stab in his head jerks the timeline of events into focus.

Ga-on had gotten a text that had shot ice into his veins.

An image attachment and a set of numbers.

The photo was of a man’s back. The person was dressed in a pristine suit, sitting slightly hunched over papers in a dark office, and there was a red dot firmly between his shoulder blades.

It was Yo-han’s back, of that Ga-on had been positive. He’d seen the man that morning throwing on the dove gray suit jacket, lifting a brow when Ga-on had come in to grab a necktie, as if asking for the younger's approval.

The numbers had only taken Ga-on a moment to figure out. Coordinates. He didn’t need to be told what was expected of him. What the message had not typed out actually meant.

Perhaps against his better judgment, Ga-on had left the Kang mansion without informing any of the occupants where he was planning on going. But the mounting danger was enough to keep him silent.

He’d arrived at the coordinates, cautious but determined to find out why someone would threaten Yo-han just to get him to come out when from behind the sound of running steps grabbed his attention. Right as Ga-on had been turning to confront this sudden attacker, however, he’d caught a blunt object to the side of the head and was out before his knees even touched the ground.

Now, still struggling to look around and catalog his surroundings, recalling any specific details or what that person had looked like, though he’s sure he’d seen them full-on before he’d been knocked unconscious, is impossible. It’s frustrating, but not the most pressing matter he supposes seeing as he’s completely vulnerable to a threat he’s woefully unprepared for. Ga-on wishes, at the very least, that he was able to grip his head as another thrum of pain makes him wince harshly, curling as best he can, back into himself.

After the brief episode passes and Ga-on can aim his focus again he has the sudden realization, clear and sharp, he’s not alone. He can feel the heavy stare that’s analyzing him, eyes on the back of his head, heavy in their attention. He wonders if this is fun for the mysterious abductor, seeing him struggle and shift against his bonds, trying to get a grip on his current predicament.

Minutes tick by and eventually, it seems the waiting game no longer holds the same appeal.

Ga-on hears the click of heels against stone and immediately he tenses. The steps are careful, lazy almost, unbothered as they get closer and closer from where he can’t see. The touch of a hand on his neck is enough to make him jerk and he wishes he could have held the reaction in. He’s vulnerable enough as it is, if he’d been able to control himself more he could at least bluff himself to safety if needed.

The laugh his reaction earns him makes Ga-on’s skin crawl right as Jung Sun-ah slithers into view. He isn’t surprised that it’s her and that must read on his face because Sun-ah pouts comically down at him as her fingers trail from his shoulder to under his chin, forcefully tipping his head back, so he’s properly looking up at her. It sends another burn through his brain but he manages to swallow down any sound threatening to spill out.

“Associate judge Kim should really be more careful, going to strange places by himself,” her words are honey-sweet but laced with thinly veiled intimidation. It makes his stomach roll.

Ga-on can’t believe that at one point he believed her to be innocent, a victim of circumstance. Now, after so much, he knows the truth. A victim, maybe, but a mastermind all the same. He doesn’t give her the satisfaction of responding to her quip, just gets straight to the point.

“Why?” The word is sluggish and weighty on his tongue.

Ga-on didn’t think this was like her, taking such a big step like this, something so risky. But then it dawns on him, his brain finally starting to catch up, she’s not actually planning on killing him, at least he’s mostly sure of that. This is a threat or a test of some kind. It doesn’t exactly fill him with the hope of leaving this place unscathed (his head is still pulsing with pain) but it does let him know that he likely isn’t in immediate danger.

Hopefully.

It doesn’t stop him from feeling even more stupid though. She’d have never killed Yo-han. At least not like that, a bullet to the back. Much too impersonal for her.

Sun-ah lets go of his face and steps back, crossing her arms over her chest, frowning at him. She doesn’t speak for a moment, studying him as he’s sure she’d done when he’d been unable to gaze back.

“I wanted to see how fast you would come running,” her expression slips into something boarding manic and gleeful; it sets Ga-on’s teeth on edge as she leans back in, placing her hands on his arms and pressing close to his face. Ga-on gets himself as far as he can from her approaching body but has little room to escape. “I wanted to test a theory.”

The way that she says it… Ga-on knows whatever theory it was she has the answer now. He doesn’t know if that’s a good thing as, when another beat passes of her staring him down, she also comes to that same conclusion. Her nails dig into Ga-on’s arms even though her face is softly smiling.

“You love him too, don't you?”

Her words swim around Ga-on’s brain and it takes him a moment to piece together exactly what she’s saying. He wishes it raised up alarm or surprise but Ga-on has to admit to himself that the realization of who Sun-ah is talking about and just how she’s determined this as truth, is less like puzzle pieces snapping together, and more of a sheet being pulled away from in front of Ga-on’s eyes, only to reveal Kang Yo-han, sitting at his desk, feet in his ostentatious slippers kicked up, hair soft over his forehead as he reads.

Ga-on does his best to not let it show, his agreement with her statement, but Sun-ah is not stupid and his lack of denial only seems to spur her forward. He’d be surprised if at this point his arms aren’t bleeding from how her talons dig in deeper.

He also isn’t surprised that she’d said: “as well.” Ga-on can’t help but wonder though… is her feeling towards the Chief really love? Or is it misplaced kinship wrapped in obsession? It’s certainly not mornings spent arguing over who gets the last piece of omelet with an unruly teenager, or nights lounging together, pouring over law documents. Ga-on also doesn’t think it’s running into an obvious trap with a threat hanging directly overhead just because the alternative means something far worse than anything that could happen to oneself.

Ga-on tries to keep his expression neutral but there’s something there, he’s positive, because Sun-ah, for once, lets that anger she’s clearly feeling flash across her face, and she leans even further forward, grabbing a fistful of Ga-on’s hair before wrenching his skull back, his neck digging into the chair.

Ga-on hisses at the pain.

“I wonder what that look in your eye is supposed to mean? Could you be under the delusion that the younger master-” Whatever Sun-ah is saying is cut off as a crash comes from behind her, somewhere directly outside the building.

In the next moment, behind Ga-on a hand shoots out and wraps around the middle of Sun-ah’s forearm, shocking her grip in Ga-on’s hair lax, enough that the sudden figure, cloaked in black, is able to rip her away from Ga-on’s space.

When the new arrival comes around into view Ga-on knows immediately by the silhouette that it’s Kang Yo-han, dressed down in his black joggers and black hoodie, dressed for a fight.

Sun-ah’s face shifts between surprised, amused, and completely enraged. It’s enough to make Ga-on’s brain go soupy trying to catch all the different moments as the flick one after another, but he’s coherent enough that he can tell immediately what’s going on in her head.

Sun-ah had expected Ga-on to come running, had been hoping for it even, but she hadn’t anticipated that with the situation reversed, Kang Yo-han would come running as well, after Ga-on no less and, just maybe, that means something similar to what Ga-on’s reaction had.

Immediately Ga-on goes limp, relaxed even, in the chair. Yo-han is here now. He’s safe.

Yo-han offers Ga-on a cursory glance over his shoulder, just to make sure he hasn’t missed some terrible injury that requires his immediate attention before he rounds back on Sun-ah. The woman has schooled her expression, and when she opens her mouth to speak it’s clear Yo-han has been brought to the edge of his patience. He twists the arm caught in his hand and while Sun-ah doesn’t cry out in pain like it’s so clear she wants to; her mouth does click shut.

He pulls her close, jerking her against his chest so that he can whisper against the shell of Sun-ah’s ear, unable to be heard by Ga-on, who, now that he’s in the process of being rescued, is hardly focused enough to listen anyway.

“I tolerate so much from you Ms. Jung… but touch what’s mine again,” he squeezes her arm harshly while his face remains flat as stone, “and I assure you, my tolerance is not what you will find waiting for you.” He releases the woman from his grip and steps away, going back to where Ga-on is still secured, head lulling now as he lists in and out of consciousness again.

Yo-han’s touch to his arm has him attempting to straighten up at least.

“Chief-” Yo-han’s eyes, sharp and commanding, make Ga-on’s tongue stalling in his mouth.

“Save your energy,” Ga-on’s brain, hazing over, exhaustion clouding, can still fill in the blank, the “you’ll need it for when I thoroughly tear you to shreds for being an idiot once we get home.” that isn’t spoken out loud.

Yo-han produces a knife from his hoodie and carefully slices away at the ropes keeping Ga-on in place, and it’s only the solid arm wrapping around his shoulder and hoisting him up that keeps Ga-on from slumping over, suddenly so weak.

As they stumble (Yo-han barely managing to keep them upright) out of the building Ga-on has a sudden fear, this all feels too easy, this escape, and when he tips his head up to murmur the words against Yo-han’s collarbone the older man just tucks his head in, further against his neck.

“K is taking care of it, just… shut up and go to sleep.”

Ga-on is then, despite the brusque words, carefully deposited into one of Yo-han’s large black SUVs. The younger is sure that he’s got a concussion and that sleeping is the last thing he should do, but he heeds Yo-han’s demand and allows for sleep to come up and claim him, knowing he’s in for a scolding and whatever might come from this encounter and the implications of it when he wakes again.

--REQUESTS TEMPORARILY CLOSED--

[wakatvshi]

roman holiday | porco galliard x reiner’s sister!reader. pt1.

warnings:  obviously season 4 anime spoilers

word count: 3316

gif credit: ackersoul

authors note: so this is the first part of my porco x reader fic! the reader is reiner’s sister and you can decide if you want to say they’re adopted/half-siblings/full siblings or not because I left that totally open for you! feedback is loved so if you like this let me know! also since we don’t know the exact timeline I’ve messed around with it but it’s still canonverse. 

summary: falling in love with porco galliard wasn’t a simple thing. keeping that love a secret wasn’t either. but telling your brother that you were in love with the man who did his best to make his life hell? even harder. 

Your hand was holding tightly onto your mothers arm as you stood at the gates. The soldiers had returned today, that meant your brother and cousin would be coming home. Should be coming home. In war anything could happen and where your mother assured everyone who would listen that Reiner was strong and would make Marley proud you couldn’t help but worry. The warriors' mission to Paradis proved that even titans could be taken down, it wasn’t something your mother ever accepted but you did. The idea that something could have happened to Reiner or Gabi and they wouldn’t come home wouldn’t leave you. 

As much as you wanted to believe, you knew your brother, you’d seen him wake up from nightmares and listened to him talk when he had a little too much to drink. No one but you seemed to actually notice that he wasn’t the same, he wasn’t as strong as your mother boasted. Not that you’d ever say anything to anyone, not even your mother. You’d tried to bring it up before, ask if she thought he was okay and she scolded you for doubting him when he was strong enough to be a warrior. Something she enjoyed reminding you, you weren’t. 

Those fears were erased when the gates opened and you watched Gabi walk in smiling. Relief filled you and you let yourself relax, even smile when she ran to your aunt and uncle. The other warriors filed in as well and your eyes locked onto a tall blonde but your mothers voice took your attention away from him. As Reiner walked towards you, you couldn’t miss how tired and worn out he looked. But still he smiled as he walked over to you, hugging you both. 

As soon as he let go of you, your mother was fawning over him. Walking towards your home you listened as she talked about the beard he was growing. He hummed and agreed quietly when she gave him time to speak. You were silently by your brothers side, the man still comforting to you. Reiner was the prize sibling and you knew that, he was the warrior, he was the reason you wore the red arm bands. You hadn’t wanted a titan, you’d never have voiced that to anyone but you were thankful you weren’t chosen and upset that he was. Upset that you’d lose your brother in two years now. 

When you were in the warrior program you’d failed spectacularly at the physical tasks, but your mind was where you shined. That was why when you were pulled out of the warrior program you were sent to learn with medics and hopefully you’d become a doctor when they deemed you ready. Hopefully that would be soon, they were letting you work with people on your own recently, with you researching titans more you could be placed with the warrior’s yourself. You were proud of that and you tried to talk to your mother about it, if you did well you could get a red arm band on your own, but Reiner had already done it and that was what mattered to her. 

The dinner that she’d planned with your family ended up worse than you’d expected. You’d been hoping for a calm dinner, getting to talk to Reiner and Gabi after them being gone for so long but that hadn’t happened. You had to listen to your mother talk about how proud she was that Gabi would be the one to take the armor, that her niece would eat her son. Then your uncle asked about Reiner’s time on Paradis and it ended in your mother blowing up. You’d heard him slip up like that before, not often but enough that as soon as he was asked about it you knew it was going to end badly, just as it did. 

You’d silently helped your mother clean up, she wasn’t in a talking mood and Reiner had long retired to his room. As much as you wanted to talk to your mother the look on her face made it clear she didn’t want any conversation. However when your eyes lingered too long on your brothers door she spoke. “Leave him.” Quickly your eyes fell to the plates in front of you as you washed them. “He’s not thinking right. He needs to get used to being out of war.” 

You wanted to laugh, he’d not been thinking right for a long time but she didn’t care about that. Not until he effected her and their image. But it was always easier to agree with her and let it go. “Gabi was lucky. She got to know what it’s like before she has to take on a titan.” Reiner’s titan. You didn’t want to think about that, you couldn’t think about him being gone. 

Your mothers hands were still you could see the slight shake in her hands but she distracted herself by smoothing out her skirt and walking back towards the table to clean up. “I can finish this myself.” You’d said something wrong. You didn’t know what but it wasn’t often that you really did know what was bothering her. Oh If you tried to help you got pushed away, she was stubborn, just like Reiner and yourself. 

The thought of going to talk to Reiner did enter your mind but you decided against it. You’d talk to him tomorrow when you didn’t have your mother hovering over your shoulder. It was raining when you stepped outside, the mist blowing in your face as you stood under the awning, happy that you were able to get away.. You weren’t a fan of confrontation, especially when it came to your family. As much as you wanted to play peacemaker, there was only so much you could do to help when Reiner wouldn’t talk and your mother never listened. So many times it felt like you were banging your head against the wall and there wasn’t really any escape for that. You craved freedom, any kind of freedom. 

There was one thing that you had that made you feel free, something you were desperate to cling to but afraid to share with the world. Afraid that if you did it would be taken away from you. When you heard footsteps there was a second where you panicked before you realized you knew the walk. A light smile came to your face as you turned to see the personification of your freedom walking towards you. 

“You’re going to get soaked if you stay out in the rain Galliard.” You teased as he walked towards you. You’d missed him more than you could ever say. Not being able to go to him at the gate was harder than you thought it would be. Everything in you had wanted to launch yourself at him but you had to stop yourself. No one knew about the two of you and you weren’t ready for anyone to know. It was selfish, you knew that but you didn’t want anything to ruin what you had. 

He raised an eyebrow as he looked at you on the porch, “You’re not looking all that dry yourself Braun.” You could tell something was off in his voice and it was pretty obvious what it was. “You wanna take a walk?” Porco wasn’t usually one to beat around the bush, he was always a direct person no matter what the consequence might be. The fact that he wanted to get away from your house was a clear sign that what was on his mind was important. 

Glancing back at the door you considered saying no, putting off any anger he might have. But after so long being apart from him, you wanted to be around him no matter what. Not to mentioned that with a few well-placed kisses he went from angry to kitten in seconds. “Yeah, I don’t think my mom will even notice I’m gone.” It was just supposed to be a passive comment but you couldn’t hide the slight venom in your voice. 

The rain wasn’t heavy, it felt kind of nice as the two of you walked. There was also the added fact that not many people were outside right now. You’d say it was romantic if Porco wasn’t as distant as he was. Usually he’d have you close to him if you were alone, even outside in public like this he’d have you at his side. Right now you walked behind him though, you’d tried to walk next to him but he didn’t pay you any attention when you did. You couldn’t just let yourself stand there and be rejected so you fell in step behind him. 

You knew exactly where he was taking you. There was a park that the two of you used to go to, to get away from everyone. Mostly elderly people went there to relax but the gazebo always ended up empty enough for you and Porco to be alone without people bothering the two of you. You’d come out here once since he’d left, sat in the middle and let yourself pretend for a few moments that you weren’t alone then. But the reality made you too upset and you avoided it. Going back with him while he was angry wasn’t something you really wanted to do. 

Following him up the steps you shook some of the water off yourself as he went to stand against one of the pillars. You could feel his eyes on you as you ran your fingers through your damp hair but the second you looked to him he was looking away. Letting out a soft sigh you spoke, “I’ve not been here in a long time.” You didn’t want the storm you knew was in his mind to grow anymore. “It feels wrong to come here without you.” He let out a hum but other than that was quiet, it was quickly getting under your skin. “Porco.” 

“You know you could have at least said hi or something. I don’t think it’s that hard I mean I was able to talk to my parents and Pieck’s dad.” When he was in a bad mood he wanted everyone to be in a bad mood. It hurt but there was truth in his words. 

Stepping closer to him you put your hands against his chest. Taking a moment to appreciate that he really was back. Porco was solid and in front of you, not one of the dreams you’d been having the whole time he was gone. If he’d let you, you’d wrap your arms around him and hold him there. But when he was in this mood you were lucky he was even letting you touch him. It was only because he missed you as well you were sure. 

“You know my mom. If I had moved and not looked… perfect while we waited she’d have been pissed. She got mad I was fidgeting too much as it was.” Stand there, always look like the perfect family, proud in your red armbands. A nice mask that she loved you and Reiner to put on. There was a little ease on his face, he knew enough about your mother from your talks about her. He was the only person you’d complain about her to other than Reiner. “And then as soon as Reiner got there we had to show off her big warrior hero.” 

As soon as the words left your lips he was rolling his eyes and stepping away from you. “Big hero warrior?” He snorted. “Yeah that’s funny.” Narrowing your eyes at your boyfriend you waited for him to say something else. You’d hated this rivalry they had going ever since Reiner was chosen for the Armor over Porco. That was part of the reason you wanted to keep it a secret. “No I’m serious! Your family should be thanking me. I’m the only reason he’s even alive!”

Your eyes widened and he looked guilty for a second, “What do you mean? How bad was he hurt?” Reiner wouldn’t have told you he got hurt. That was just like him, he never wanted anyone to worry about him when that was impossible for you. 

“He just took some heavy hits that’s all. He’s alive and he’s fine now so all I’m saying is that he’s alive because of me. So you should at least give me some credit.” The annoyance slipped off his face for a second and you could see the sadness in his eyes. “You didn’t even look at me Y/N.” 

Everything in you wanted to protest that, you had looked at him but he was with his parents when you did. But who could blame him for being focused on them. They’d already lost one son, the idea that they could lose Porco was probably a greater fear for them than it was you. You’d been there when that Ymir woman was brought back and Porco was told that she’d taken Marcel’s jaw. You’d offered to go with him when his parents found out but he’d declined your offer. It made sense to you later, that he was too emotional and didn’t like anyone seeing him like that. 

“I’m sorry. I tried but…” You didn’t really have a good excuse other than your selfishness to keep your relationship with him a secret. “I should have said something, I know that. Not being able to go to you drove me crazy. I just knew that you’d come to find me tonight.” 

He stared at you again, trying to figure out what to say. You could see the emotions cross his face before he ran his hand through his hair slicking it back more. A nervous habit of his that you usually found endearing. “I don’t want to do this anymore. The hiding I mean. It was fun for a while. Sneaking around and the whole thrill of being caught but not anymore.” He was right, you couldn’t hide this forever and you didn’t want to. You loved him, you wanted to be with him. Porco reached out and took your hand. You’d never seen this look in his eyes before and it scared you. “I’ve got nine years left.” 

Shaking your head you tightened your grip on his hand, “We don’t need to talk about that.” You kept those thoughts out of your head as much as you could. Your brother, your best friend and your boyfriend. Reiner, Pieck and Porco were all going to die because of this curse and it wasn’t something you were good at facing. 

“Yes we do! It’s happening and I don’t want to spend all this time hiding from everyone.” You didn’t want to think about it but Porco was right. As soon as you accepted that you felt anything for him that the time you had together was limited. It was why you were hesitant to start anything, no matter how big your crush on him had been. 

Still, you were hesitant to open up to people about it. Being with a warrior was an honor to other Eldians, but there was always mention of the short time you had together. You knew for a while that would be all you heard. Any event would be ‘cherish it while it lasts’. It would be a constant reminder. Not to mention your family. Oh your mother would be happy, she’d brag about it, probably insinuate how you’d finally done something right. Being in a romantic relationship with a warrior was more impressive to her than your own actions. 

But what held you back was mostly Reiner. He wouldn’t actually be angry at you but the fact that you were dating his biggest rival was probably not something he would enjoy. You’d been there for the fights they’d have at HQ when you were all younger. Or more like you’d be there when Porco would beat the hell out of him.  Then you’d listened to both of them when Reiner was chosen for the Armored Titan over Porco. The fights they’d had over that would get bad enough but Porco’s reaction to finding out that Marcel had died to save Reiner was something else entirely. After four years you’d waited for your brothers to come home and only yours had. 

Reiner’s reaction wasn’t something you could predict but you didn’t think it would be too positive. Even if he pretended it was for your benefit you would be able to tell if it was fake. You didn’t want the chance that he’d be disappointed in you. But you knew you had to, you loved Reiner and he was your brother. You’d do anything for him. But Porco? When you thought of your future it was with Porco. You threw away all of your hesitations when it came to him, every caution you’d ever taken to not get close to anymore of the warriors was gone and for him. 

Easing your grip on his hand you laced your fingers together, “You’re right.” Porco looked surprised for a few seconds but recovered when you kept talking. “I know you’re right, I just liked being alone with you. With no one telling me to count the years I have with you. People always love to remind me of that with Reiner already. I hate hearing it and I just… if no one knew no one could remind me.” 

Porco’s hand cupped your cheek and you leaned into his touch, it had been so long since you’d been near him and felt his touch. “Who gives a shit what they say? Who cares about how much time we have when we’re better than them anyway.” You couldn’t help but laugh at his words, “It’s true! The people who say that are the idiots who have nothing better to do than pay too much attention to everything we do. They don’t matter. We do.” 

Taking his hand you pressed a kiss to his palm, causing him to scoff and look away from you, a light blush dusting his cheeks. “We can tell people. And make a few people jealous in the meantime.” Porco always liked when you bragged about him, he’d like the idea of people getting jealous of the two of you and you knew that. “But I get to tell Reiner.” 

Porco pulled his hand away from your face as he rolled his eyes, “Who cares who tells him as long as he finds out?”

“I do. Because you’ll be an asshole about it and you can’t even deny that.” Porco would take too much pleasure in telling your brother and probably find some way to make it about sex just to bother him. Which was the opposite of what you wanted. The stern look on your face faded when you had to voice the second reason it had to be you who told Reiner. “And I’ve always told him everything. When he finds out I didn’t tell him about this… I don’t know if he’ll be upset that I didn’t tell him about this.” 

There had been so many secrets between the two of you since he got back. You knew why, you knew he wasn’t allowed to talk about his time on Paradis. But even beyond that you’d gotten almost nothing out of him. It was getting to the point where Gabi was worried and to her Reiner was some unbreakable force and even at her age she was starting to see through that. You’d seen it on her face at dinner.

“Fine. Just make it soon okay?” Before you could give a response Porco grabbed your chin and kissed you. It was just a simple press of his lips but right then it felt like everything. “I hated not being able to kiss my girl when I got back.”

[kairos-polaris]

A schism of magic

Chapte 1

Marinette finds a golden watch. Opening it changed a lot in her life.

***

She remembers being eight and looking at the Untempered Schism. She was prepared to see everything but not magic and gods the size of her hand. The image left a lingering need to run in her bones but she was very good at resisting the urge.

***

Marinette was tired. Exhausted. Worn out. Bone-tired.

Why? Well, studying, working on commissions, and saving Paris from Hawkmoth at the same time wasn't easy. Her schedule was packed so tightly, she hadn't slept more than four hours for almost three months.

Maybe, I should close commissions. This will give me more free time. I can also work more on finding Hawkmoth. And focus on my education,' Marinette thought. She looked around her room. Everything was calm. She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. Kwamis were similar to kids in one aspect: if they're quiet, they're making a mess somewhere. Marinette sighed and rubbed her forehead. She really was too tired to clean up anything.

Marinette sighed again and got up. Apparently, being awake for 64 hours straight wasn't good for her health because Marinette felt her head spin and everything went dark for a moment. "I need to take a nap," she muttered to herself while swaying softly. "Maybe consuming so much caffeine isn't good for me".

Finding kwamis turned out to be relatively easy. They were all sitting on her bed, next to a golden fob watch with engraved circular designs. It was a beautiful watch, Marinette had to admit.

"Where did you find it? I don't remember having anything similar," Marinette frowned. "Did you steal it?"

Judging by kwamis' guilty looks they did steal it. The next questions were how, when, why, and from whom? Marinette sighed inwardly. It wasn't going to be easy.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Marinette asked after several minutes of silence. Wayzz flew forward as the most responsible one.

"We wanted to explore a little bit," they've started, "and we accidentally flew into your parents room. Immediately after I realized where we were I made them leave. But in my hurry I didn't notice that Fluff did not go with us. And I think Fluff can tell more now."

The kwami of evolution had the decency to look guilty under Wayzz's glare. Fluff flew closer to her, trying to appear innocent. "I'm not sorry, Guardian. I had to do this for the stability of timelines. You will understand it later. This watch contains your consciousness. It is you, Guardian."

"What do you mean, Fluff?" she asked, a small frown forming between her eyebrows. "How can a fob watch be me?"

"You're a Time Lady. This watch is a part of the mechanism called the Chameleon Arc. From what I know your people use it as a perfect disguise. Chameleon Arc changes your biology and creates false memories. You have to open it," Fluff didn't wait for her answer and just dropped it on her knees.

Fluff's words seemed to be too unlikely to be true. Why would she want to change her species or create false memories? Why didn't Tikki say anything if it were true?

"Are you trying to pull a prank on me, Fluff?" she asked tiredly. She wasn't in the mood for games.

"Just open it, Guardian. I used the Burrow to make sure this is the right time. It's very important for you to open this watch."

It didn't seem real. More like from a tv show with aliens. But she was the Guardian of multiple gods. She knew that aliens existed (hard not to, considering how everybody talks about Superman, Martian Manhunter, Green Lanterns and others). So there was a chance that Fluff was telling the truth. The only way to find out was to open the watch. If she wasn't a Time Lord, nothing would change. And if she was … well, they would deal with it later.

A small click of the opened clasp and a bright golden light blinded her. Several seconds later the room was filled with her pained screams. And then she blacked out.

Tikki wasn't panicking. She wasn't! Nothing Plagg says can be trusted. So don't believe him when he says that Tikki was flying around her Chosen and babbling 100 words per minute.

But what if Marinette didn't wake up? What if she forgot about Tikki and the time they've spent together? What if she didn't want to see them anymore?

"Urgh, it shouldn't have hurt so much. I shouldn't have blacked out," Marinette's voice interrupted Tikki's inner monologue. Kwami immediately flew to her face to assure herself that Marinette was alright.

"How are you feeling? What has gone wrong?" Tikki asked worriedly while flying around Marinette's head.

"I'm okay, Tikki. I just didn't expect it to hurt so much. I didn't completely believe this watch could do anything to me." She breathed out to regulate her heartbeats. "I'm just happy… my parents aren't home. I don't know how to explain this to them."

Fluff flew closer and nuzzled into her cheek. "I'm sorry, Guardian. I didn't think something like that would happen," Fluff said, their eyes shining with regret. "What is your name, Guardian?"

"My name is Morana," she answered slowly, her head still pounding from the pain. Using her full name felt somewhat wrong. Her entire family was dead. Her home planet was most likely destroyed in the War, because the Universe was standing and Rassilon wasn't the type to change plans.

"Why did you use this thing in the first place? Was it because of the Time War?" Fluff asked before every kwami flew to them in an attempt to close their mouths.

Morana stayed silent. She trusted kwamii, she even loved them. But the Time War changed her so much that she couldn't recognise herself. Seeing death every day and being aware that your people sacrificed civilisations to win just one battle wasn't easy for her. And she didn't want to relieve everything she had seen or done.

Kwamis seemed to understand this, giving her time to collect her thoughts. She opened her mouth to start talking, but… she couldn't say anything. Every word felt too weak to describe why she had used the Chameleon Arc and what had led to this.

"It's not so easy," she started again. "I.. A lot of things featured in my decision to use it. I wasn't technically running away from the war. I was ordered to leave. You can call me a backup plan. But I was attacked while leaving. My Time Capsule is still young so she was heavily injured. And because of it I was injured, too.

Then I finally was in this Universe. Heavily bleeding, I decided that regeneration was my best choice. Something went wrong, again, and I looked like a six years old. Using the Chameleon Arc was part of Lord Rassilon's plan so that's what I did."

Kwamis stayed silent. It was clear that Morana didn't want to talk about it and they would respect her wishes. Some wounds should be left alone so they heal properly.

"You should go to sleep. You were running on sheer spite, and becoming a Time Lady again was hard for your body," Wayzz said. He was always the most responsible and caring kwami. Morana smiled at him and silently went to her bed. She had a lot of work cut out for her. She could only hope she wouldn't wake up from a nightmare.

***

Waking up a Time Lord again felt strange. Utterly strange. It must be because she had used the Chameleon Arc immediately after regeneration. Not everything was set and she should have waited a little bit. Well, what's done is done. She couldn't change anything.

What she could do was moan to kwamis about aches in seemingly all her body parts. Her head felt close to exploding from all the pressure. She could feel neurons snapping into place. It would go much easier if she were on Gallifrey. Or at least in the Zero Room. Regenerating anywhere else was awfully painful.

Due to her newly discovered heightened hearing she heard Sabine's steps. The woman most likely wanted to wake up Marinette so she wouldn't be late for school. Morana didn't want to move, less go to a public place before she could actually control her body.

"Marinette, you are going to be late if you don't get up right now," Sabine said from somewhere in the room. Morana was too overwhelmed with the amount of new smells that came with Sabine.

"I'm sorry, Maman. I have a really bad headache. Everything hurts," she said, desperately trying to tall like Marinette would. Her usual speech patterns were too proper for a teenager. However, it was a problem for later. At the very moment Mora just wanted her head to stop pounding. A very tiny part of her wanted that pain to last, this way she would not have to be confronted with silence. No telepathic specie deserved to be completely alone in their heads.

"Do you need something, sweetie?" the woman was clearly concerned, more than her actual mother ever was. Morana felt a small pang in her chest, but brushed it off immediately as an aftereffect of regeneration going wrong. "I'm going to be in the bakery, just call me when you need anything, okay?"

Kwamis flew out immediately after Sabine had left. They looked very concerned for her health, and it warmed her heart a lot. Time Lords were too proper to care for anyone other than themselves. Morana sighed inwardly, because doing so outwardly would be too painful. She was so used to resenting her own people that she forgot that they are dead. Properly dead. No crossing time streams would let her see even her most annoying cousins. And it pained her more than she wanted to admit.

"Can we help somehow, Master?" Wayzz asked softly, adjusting his voise tone so it wouldn't hurt her head. Marinette appreciated the effort. She really did. She did not appreciate being called Master.

"Plese, never call me Master, Wayzz," she said weakly. "I know a Time Lord who call himself that. He's one of the biggest annoyances Gallifrey had ever known. He had also destroyed my lab once so I don't like being reminded of him," she explained, seeing kwamis' wondering gazes. She didn't mention that reminder of the home she had lost hurt her a lot, but judging by Tikki's and Wayzz's reactions, they understood her without any words needed

"What can we do to help you, Morana? You never answered," Tikki said, carefully gouging her reaction. Morana sighed, outwardly this time. She hoped they moved on from the subject.

"Nothing, unless you can get me Gallifrey," she let out a bitter laugh. "Or my Time Capsule. Even just being there would help me greatly. But, alas, I don't know where she is. I can't move to get there anyway."

"I can try to search for it, Guardian," Barkk offered. Morana stayed silent for a moment. It would seem like a great idea if she didn't know that her Time Capsule couldn't be detected if she herself didn't approve. And Morana couldn't possibly do it from her bedroom in Paris. That's what she explained to the dog kwami. It, apparently, insulted the god a lot, because they started loudly explaining how nothing could hinder their search and that they were the best in it before remembering about Morana's headache. It seemed to shut them up pretty fast, but Morana just appreciated the silence.

"Let's tall about this later, when my brain won't try to explode and my body will be more used to… a lot of things, actually," she offered, because she really didn't want to argue with anyone. Especially with kwamis. "I'm going to sleep. Hope it will help me."

***

Sleep didn't help. Painkillers didn't help. Which was obvious, because human medicine could never help a Time Lord. Especially after regeneration.

But Marinette did feel better. Tea, apparently, helped, because after only one cup her head stopped hurting so much and she could do anything without being overwhelmed. Marinette appreciated it, but was too baffled by the realisation. She even regretted that they never had it on Gallifrey. It would help a lot of Time Lords. Especially during the Time War, because everyone was burning through their regeneration like… like Doctor!

"What are we going to do now?" she asked kwamis. Morana knew they considered her too weak to do anything and it irritated her a lot. Time Lords were a superior species, regeneration was their strength, not a weakness.

"You have to understand one thing, Guardian," Wayzz started, always the peacemaker. "We don't think you are weak or anything like that. But I personally believe that you need more rest. And you won't get it while fixing your Time Capsule. It would take a lot of time and effort to get her into proper shape, considering that you had to regenerate from all the damage," Wayzz explained slowly, like one would to a child.

Morana knew his words had logic. If she saw her Time Capsule, she wouldn't rest until everything was fixed. And it would cause major problems in the long run for her health. It could even force her to regenerate and she wasn't keen on changing her bodies like gloves. She still hated it.

"Okay, we will wait," she said after a long moment of silence and kwamis started cheering immediately. "For now we have to think how I am supposed to act." She was met with bland and confused looks. "My speech patterns, my behaviour and even the way I hold myself is drastically different from Marinette. Some things have stayed, like my intellect, curiosity and need to learn more, but a lot of Marinette was influenced by growing up as a human. I was raised completely differently."

"I can take you wherever you want, Guardian," Kaalki courteously offered. "You can change their memories a little bit, take some money and leave. I believe that you know how to hack computers."

Kaalki's offer made a lot of sense and in any other situation Morana would agree immediately. But it wasn't any other situation. "I can't leave because of Hawkmoth," she said quietly.

Mora was also ashamed of the fact that she still hadn't caught the man. It was embarrassing for a Time Lady of her status. At least she had another reason to not leave immediately to find her Time Capsule. She would be too tempted to leave and never return. Time Lords aren't meant to meddle with humans and history in general. "But the Doctor did so," a traitorous voice, the most rebellious part of her, whispered. You envy his freedom but yet you are unable to let go of Time Lords's ideals. You have to choose one day.". And that was a conversation for another day.

The next hour was spent discussing Marinette's behaviour and how Morana could start slowly changing, so her classmates (she had graduated from the Academy years ago and she still had to go to a human school and she hated that) wouldn't notice. It wouldn't be very hard, considering they could only see Lila and her pretty tales.

There was also an issue of Marinette's crush on one Adrien Agreste. It was borderline creepy and hurt Marinette's mental health. Thank Rassilon, her Time Lord consciousness was woken up just in time. In the back of her mind Morana could feel possible outcomes of the situation with Adrien and Lila and she liked none of them

Lila and her lies were another reason for Morana to burn bright red from shame. Marinette losing her composure and completely not being to defend herself was unbecoming for a Time Lady. Her parents and Academy teachers had taught her better than that.

That liar was a completely different issue. On one hand, she would keep attention diverted from Morana. On the other, she wasn't sure the liar wouldn't try to discredit her even further. Morana preferred staying hidden rather than attracting unnecessary attention. And the repeat of her infamous expulsion would do exactly that.

There was also a matter of pride. Her Time Lord part was enraged that a human girl thought herself better than her. Morana wanted to destroy the liar, make her reap what she had sowed. But deep down she knew that destroying a minor would not help her feel better.

"I want to deal with Lila without exposing her myself," she said out loud. Voicing out her thoughts sometimes helped. "I have to make someone else do it, but who?"

"You can subtly help your classmates find the truth," Tikki offered. "You are more eloquent and confident than Marinette. You wouldn't lose your head if someone started doubting you."

"It would work if I didn't change so much. I don't want to attract attention but talking to them will make them notice me. No, it won't work," Marinette shook her head. She stayed silent before a small spark ignited in her eyes. "I can make teachers expose her! I will get rid of Bustier and Damocles. This way not only will the Lila situation be resolved, but it will prevent something similar happening in the future!"

"That's an amazing idea!" Tikki exclaimed. "How do you want to do this?" But Marinette was already deep in work, cursing human technology every now and then.

Not even two hours later Morana got up with a triumphant grin. "We have to wait and see the results for ourselves now," she said.

"What did you do, Guardian?" Wayzz asked, tilting his head slightly.

"Wait and see! It will be much more interesting!" Morana didn't wait to see kwamis's reaction and just bolted out of her room. Buying computer parts was high in her priority because there was no way she would ever work with human technology without adjusting it to her needs. She also wanted to change her bedroom. Pink was a lovely colour but a completely pink bedroom was too much for Morana.

***

Morana skipped two more school days, because of fatigue and random headaches. Every time she shut her eyes from pain she was reminded of Gallifrey and Zero Room. It wouldn't hurt so much if she were there.

On the third day Morana decided it was time to go and assess the situation. She also needed proof of Bustier's unprofessionalism and her enabling bullies. She also wanted to know if anyone saw through Lila's lies. It was highly unlikely but a Time Lady could hope.

Dressing up was a major problem. Morana and Marinette had as different tastes in clothes as it could be. One preferred soft lines and pastel colours, another favoured strict forms and traditional colours. Marinette's style was too casual for Morana, who was used to stuff robes and gigantic headpieces.

"I guess I have to work with what I have for now, and then buy more when I can," Morana thought.

"You look very different from Marinette, Mora," Tikki said after Morana finished getting dressed. "But it suits you. I bet you are used to completely different clothes."

Morana decided to change Marinette's style a little bit, forgoing pigtails and usual clothes. Instead, she chose a white shirt and dress pants. She put her hair up in a bun. It was just the perfect combination of casual and formal. Morana would still do anything to wear robes from Gallifreywhich she didn't even have because her home planet was destroyed.

"I am ready. Who is going to go to school with me today?" It was a tradition at that point for Marinette to take kwamis with her to school and Morana didn't want to change it. It was decided that Trixx and Wayzz would come with her.

Morana already felt a growing headache. Unfortunately, it wasn't because of her less than stellar regeneration, but knowing what kinds of troubles Trixx could trick Wayzz and Tikki into. Hopefully Tikki would reign them in.

"Do you think Chat Noir will be suspicious when he sees me?" she asked, causing Tikki to nervously gulp. Kwami of creation wasn't a good liar. Just like Marinette.

"No! You were always very serious and strict as Marinette! I am sure he wouldn't notice the difference!" Tikki ranted, nervousness obvious in her small movements. Did she get that from Marinette too?

Morana sighed and smiled as softly as she could. "I wasn't sure that Chat was in my class but your poor lying skills just admitted it," Tikki just looked away, embarrassment and shame of exposing Chat's identity were noticeable in her eyes. Morana bit her lip, contemplating whether she should stay silent or cheer up kwami. She didn't think long. "Hey, it's okay, Tikki. It's not your fault that I know that Adrien is Chat. Human and Time Lord brains work differently, so I could imagine how Chat's face looked without the mask. I'm sure magic would help protect his identity if you always knew that I'm a Time Lady."

Tikki wasn't convinced, guilt still lingering in her little body. The previous guardian being so against Ladybug and Chat Noir knowing each other's identity has influenced kwami more than Morana thought previously. Tikki more than Plagg, obviously. "The previous guardian was a coward and not the smartest man," Morana stopped, trying to pick words that wouldn't offend the old man too much. "We don't know what would happen if Ladybug or Chat Noir were akumatized. Knowing who the other is would help us a lot. We could work together as civilians."

"Yes, you are right, Morana," Tikki said, stifling a sob. She nuzzled into Morana's cheek with a content sigh. They stood like that for several long moments. Luckily, there was still time as Morana had got up earlier to not be late.

"We have to go now, Tikki. We don't want to be late." It pained her to refuse Tikki so obviously needed comfort. But Morana couldn't allow herself to be late. Unless

"You know what? We can stay for a little bit longer. I planned everything so I would be the first in the class. We have full ten minutes for ourselves," she said with more confidence than she felt. Changing plans to make someone feel better wasn't something Time Lords would respect. But Tikki was important for her and Morana would be damned if she left her dear friend sad and hurt.

Tikki squealed happily before taking Morana's finger and leading her to the chaise. Over the course of the next several minutes every kwami flew to her. Morana thanked them mentally as being with her friends made Tikki feel much better.

Morana was ashamed to admit that she, a Time Lady with very precise time senses, had lost track of time. Instead of ten minutes they've spent almost twenty cuddling and listening to everyone's stories. And because of her tardiness she was running late. But what was unusual for Morana was normal for Marinette.

"Well, at least nobody will be surprised. Everyone expects Marinette to be late. Never expected that being late will have good sides," she thought while running to school. Fortunately, the building wasn't too far from the bakery and her physique allowed her to run faster and longer.

Morana stopped running just mere meters before her class' doors. She had two choices: enter like a mess aka Marinette's usual way, or go in calmly and confidently. She would attract less attention if she chose the second option, but it can possibly attract more attention later. But it would work if she ran away immediately after dismantling Lila's empire. Yes, that was her best choice.

Morana took a deep breath and entered her class. Everything was just the way she had expected: everyone sitting around Lila and listening to her tales, Alix and Kim were arguing about something. What she hadn't expected were Rose and Juleka. They were sitting away from everyone else, talking in hushed voices. They were also looking at Lila and her court every few seconds, which was even more suspicious. Morana sighed, knowing that she hadn't predicted everything. Again. Great.

***

Everything was too calm. Lila continued entertaining class with her stories but never mentioned anyone famous. Juleka and Rose spent the whole day whispering about something, but they were talking too soft for Morana to hear anything. And, in the name of Rassilon, did that frustrate her

Judging by Bustier's calm demeanor, Morana's plan hasn't reached her yet. The same must have been true for Damocles, because the man was acting as usual. He was also too much of an awful actor to pretend everything is fine enough to fool Morana. No, she just had to be more patient. She had more than enough time for that.

The day turned out to be utterly boring considering Lila didn't try to start a drama, or force Adrien sit with her. Juleka and Rose weren't confronted despite acting suspicious the whole time. Nobody approached "Marinette". The worst part was trying to pretend that she didn't know everything better than teachers. Her eyes twitched every time Mendeleev said something proved wrong years ago. "Patience, humans still have to disprove that and you know it. You can't compare the Academy with even the best human university. Even ones in the 51st century weren't as good,". Being the smartest person in the whole school wasn't easy, as you can see.

"Marinette, we wanted to talk to you," Rose said timidly, Juleka holding her hand. Well, apparently she had been wrong about nobody approaching her. "Can we talk in private, please? I… We have something to tell you. It's very important."

Morana contemplated refusing them. They had believed Lila but something she really wanted why they had been acting so suspiciously the whole day.

"Yes, I don't mind," she said cautiously and immediately saw tension leave Rose's body. It was so easy to read her. "We can go to the bakery. I promise that my parents won't intrude."

Juleka and Rose started nodding frantically, obviously not wanting her to change her mind. It was proving to be very interesting.

Fortunately, the walk to the bakery was short because Rose looked like she would blow up from the need to spill all the information.

Morana led them to her room, stopping briefly to greet her parents. They were so busy they didn't even notice her. Hm, not surprising.

"Well, what did you want to tell me?" she asked when they were finally sitting in her room. Rose bit her lip and started fidgeting with her fingers. She looked at Juleka with a silent plea to start talking.

"We know that Lila is a liar," Juleka said so softly Morana wouldn't hear if not for her enhanced hearing. "Rose mentioned her while talking with Prince Ali and he explained that he had never met anyone named "Lila Rossi" or that his charity work is directed to children, not pollution. He also mentioned that Lila could be sued for using his family name in her own gain.

Rose then immediately ran to our class and told everyone just that. But that liar somehow managed to save herself by saying that she had mistaken Prince Ali for her another celebrity friend. Rose then got so angry she told everyone about a possible lawsuit and that shut up Lie-la pretty quickly. After that she stopped mentioning celebrities and started focusing on herself."

That explained everyone's behaviour pretty nicely. And she didn't even have to think for herself, everything was given on a silver plate. Just use the information however you want to.

"I am so sorry, Marinette! Forgive me for not believing you!" Rose exclaimed, tears welling up in her eyes. Morana hugged her, pressing Rose's face into her chest, allowing her to cry and let out all of her emotions. She could be colder than ice sometimes, but she would never let a child cry. Especially one her human self considered a friend.

"It's okay, it's okay. I forgive you," she whispered into Rose's head, while drawing soothing circles on her back. "You know the truth and that's all I wanted."

That wasn't a lie per se but not completely a truth. Marinette only wanted her friends to believe her over Lila, but Morana wanted them all to pay for their foolishness. Fortunately, her maturity and those parts of her that still were Marinette won out and it was pretty easy to forgive Juleka and Rose.

"You are so nice, Marinette! I don't deserve your kindness!" Rose sobbed into her shoulder. "I was worried when you didn't come to school and wanted to visit you but Lila said that you wouldn't want to see me. And I listened to her! And I left you! Instead of me begging your forgiveness you are comforting me! I'm so so so sorry!"

Morana knew that Rose was a soft and nice person. She even expected her to be the first who apologized to her. She did not expect her to be so upset about it. She took a deep breath and took Rose's face in her hands. Tears were running down her red cheeks and she let out an ugly sob with every breath.

"It really is okay, Rose. I understand you and why you wouldn't believe me. I have not the best track record when it concerns Adrien," she said with a self-ironic smile, hoping it would make her feel better. And Rose did have a small smile. "I actually am happy that you have found the truth by yourself and went immediately to tell everyone. It shows how much you care about them."

"But… but you did the same!" Rose protested. "You knew that she was a liar and immediately decided to tell everyone! You knew how harmful her false promises were and acted to protect everyone! But they just thought you were jealous and it's so unfair!"

Morana smiled softly and wiped away remnants of Rose's tears. "You were very brave, Rose. You had seen them not believing me and still acted to protect them. Some part of you knew they wouldn't believe but you trusted them enough to ignore that voice. It's not your fault Lila knows how to change your words to fit her narrative."

"I'm also very sorry, Marinette. Luka likes you and I doubt he would if you actually stole necklaces and pushed people down the stairs," Juleka chuckled before realisation dawned on her. It looked like a lightbulb in her head was turned on. "If you actually pushed Lila down the stairs, she would be seriously injured. And she would require medical attention anyway."

Juleka continued listing Lila's most obvious lies but Morana didn't listen. She just grinned. Apparently, some of her classmates did have more than one brain cell. And it was the most fascinating thing seeing one of them use it properly. Was it why the Doctor spent so much time with humans? Was it the reason he took them to see the Universe? To see them grow and change? To make them see the world in a different light? If so, then Morana could finally understand why the Doctor had so many human companions. Maybe, after getting her Time Capsule back she would invite someone to go with her. It would be fun.

"... Marinette? Marinette? Are you listening?" Juleka's worried voice drew her out of her thoughts.

"I'm sorry. Could you repeat the last bit again?" she asked, trying to look as sheepish as possible. Juleka and Rose exchanged a look that could be translated to "Marinette being Marinette and getting lost in thoughts as usual". Morana tried her hardest to not be offended, considering they weren't wrong but she did huff causing both girls to start laughing. At least Rose wasn't crying anymore.

"I asked what we could do to expose Lila. We could ask Jagged Stone to come. Or Clara. Or call Prince Ali," Juleka said after she stopped laughing.

"I don't think it's a good idea," she started. "Media would twist everything to fit their narrative. Why would a famous rockstar or a pop singer or an actual prince come to disprove lies of a teenager? A lot of people lie about knowing celebrities but nobody pays attention to them. Media would ask "what's so special about that girl?" and I'm sure Lila would use it to her own benefit," she said with a small sigh. They were Marinette's thoughts, her trying to not call Jagged to solve the Lila problem.

"You are right," Juleka said after thinking for a minute. "But how do we expose her?"

"It's simple. We won't," Morana simply stated. Juleka and Rose shared a confused look before looking at her expecting an explanation. "New teachers will. I want Damocles and Bustier fired. I believe new teachers won't be so lenient in their responsibilities and would look into Lila's medical history. They would also contact Lila's mother every time skips school or doesn't hand in her assignments."

"That's smart," Juleka admitted. She then frowned. "We are putting a lot of faith on those possible new teachers. How can we know they won't be the same as Damocles and Bustier?"

Morana slowly blinked. She hadn't considered that before. Now, she had no choice but to ensure new teachers would be chosen correctly. More work for her. Great

"Don't worry about it. It will be my problem anyway," she said with a small shrug. The girls didn't look convinced but they didn't argue further and Morana appreciated it. They didn't stay longer, there was homework and band practice for them so they couldn't lose more time. Another thing Morana appreciated because she wasn't sure how to make them leave. She needed some time alone. There was a lot of planning to do.

[iamnightduchess]

Reiner & Mikasa: A Retrospective Pt. 1

Why their combined synergy is poetic in potentially saving Eren by the end of SnK?

(Disclaimer: This is purely an appreciation post for my two favorite characters, [BR]OTP-influenced but in no way disregarding any other characters’ importance in the series) **contains spoilers for recent manga chapters & Ep. 63 of AoT’s Final Season. Image heavy.

Ever since they were trainees, Eren has always looked up towards both Reiner and Mikasa, although he wasn’t willing to admit to the latter in front of her face directly. But, in a feeling of helplessness, he confided in Reiner. He aspired to be just like the two strongest people in his life at that point: Reiner and Mikasa.

They are the top two cadets of the 104th batch and are almost always evenly matched in the multiple times they’ve tried to take each other down if it wasn’t for Reiner’s stroke of luck and Mikasa’s hesitance. (Mikasa managed to force him out of his Titan form using her last Thunder Spear but wasn’t enough to kill him even when she said she wanted to)

(Oh yes, she & Levi gave him enough trauma for his PTSD and he has recurring nightmares of her. But he still respects them. Enemy to enemy. Enemy to ally.)

Yet together, there’s still a fighting chance for them to stop Eren because of their deep bond with him. (Armin is important too that ARM still has a huge role to play in the second wave of the final fight. Especially now that he’s realized OG Ymir’s role in all of this. I hope)

At this current timeline of the manga, we have reached the point where Reiner and Mikasa, the very two people that Eren looked up to, have to be the ones (amongst the few) who collectively work together to defeat him, who’s under the Founder Ymir’s influence & in a way, saving him from whatever hopeless vortex he is in.

I very much like to draw light to this short, quick exchange between Reiner & Mikasa on the plane heading towards Fort Salta’s direction. The above panel, which highlighted Reiner’s perspective and his empathy, says “The weight of that unimaginable power & burden would not be easy to endure and that IF he was the one who has the Founder, he’d want it to be handled by someone else and if he couldn’t handle that immense power, he’d want the power to be stopped.” Some fans claimed that Reiner was ‘projecting’ his own innate desire to die on Eren but Reiner has always been the opposite to Eren’s character. The other side of the same coin as Eren’s.

The below panel follows and it’s very interesting to note that if we look at Reiner’s gaze as he was speaking, indirectly Reiner is admitting that he’d want to be stopped by someone he knows could do exactly that and that person or his kryptonite is Mikasa. Ok, woman, this man’s weakness is you. It couldn’t get any direct than that rofl

Reiner was being very mindful (and respectful) of his implication as he is very aware on how delicate is Mikasa’s feelings when it comes to Eren. (Tbh, I also observe the unspoken understanding & mutual respect between these two) Eren’s her family & to directly call out to Mikasa to be more proactive in her actions would be inconsiderate of him despite the situation they’re in. Just like at the harbor, before the showdown with the Jeagerists, Reiner gave them the option to stay aside & not interfere, knowing full well he & the rest of the Marleyan survivors would be no different than headless chickens without the SC’s support. He didn’t force them, just like he didn’t impose his thoughts on Mikasa.

Then BOOM -- PATHS INTERMISSION. Brought to you by OG!Ymir through Young!Eren. Coincidentally, as if ‘someone’ out there wants to place weight on Reiner’s suggestion.

However, after the Paths intermission, that might just be the first wake up call to Mikasa. It’s also interesting that once again we are reminded that no matter how fast or how hard Mikasa tried to chase after Eren, she’ll never be able to get close to him. She gave him her world yet he kept moving forward & leave her behind, chasing after his shadows as he keeps going down a path that no one else can follow. I think it’s interesting that The Paths looped her back to Reiner

The horrified expression on Reiner’s face in the panel below somewhat tells me that he knew his earlier implications are not just him grasping desperately at straws but it feels like there’s the ‘human’ side of Eren, still untainted by Ymir’s will, like he believes, who secretly wants to be stopped. He understood how horrible it is for Mikasa, especially with the look of absolute shock on her face to finally have the awful truth confirmed. (At this point, Armin is already past the point of holding back & will do whatever necessary to rip Eren out of the Founding’s form)

I would like to take the time to share my appreciation of these rich panels of Mikasa working closely with Reiner’s Armored (together with the rest of course). Mikasa doesn’t tell her feelings verbally but she always shows it on her face.

Oh yes, right after the above panel, she had to get out of the way but her face below explains the anger and the rage she felt when she saw the Colossal took a bite out of the Armored’s nape & toss its body away like it’s just point blank garbage.

She was desperately worried that Armin was taken, but at Levi’s behest, she trusted Armin with his orders and they forced themselves to move forward. But one can see she was about to go apeshit when she saw what happened to Reiner & his Armored.

While Reiner & Jean were having a Titanic bro moment here, which is also pivotal in my opinion as Reiner, once again felt he finally belonged amongst people who genuinely care about him Survey Corps Suicide Squad yo even after what had happened between them. (It was a symbolical scene as well where Reiner has to let go of his old bro, Bertolt to move forward with his new bro, Jean.) Mikasa swooped in & kill the random Titan form that was about to make Reiner its lunch. Can’t blame them, that man is a delicious footlong sub. This woman ain’t gonna share haha crack humor, people! 

“If we fight, we win. If we lose, we die.”

Yes, the breaking point of one Mikasa Ackerman. This is a wholesome callback to Trost arc, the day before their graduation. When she found out that Eren died, she went apeshit & went on a “fuck this shit. i have nothing to lose anymore” mode. Jean, as usual, being the tough guy Jean, is angry that she’s putting her life on the line. Again.

But what’s interesting to me was the helpless look on Reiner’s face. He knows she’s super strong, he respects her so much for that & she’s buying them time and was more than willing to die first before everyone does BUT he can’t do much at that point because he’s at his last limit and Jean’s not letting his hand go either. Seriously, THIS is the woman you should marry, bro. She’s willing to die for you & everyone else. This woman is a damn keeper!

Although I am very sure, everyone’s ready to die for each other at this point.

Back to the original pondering: The Reiner & Mikasa saving Eren with/through Armin going directly against Ymir.

The Final Exhibition played a lot on this Eren vs Reiner with Mikasa being in the middle. Touched on this briefly before.

The Final Stand highlights the confrontation between The Founding/Attack against The Armored, with Mikasa being in the middle of the confrontation, tipping the scales of the outcome. Before, she assisted Eren against Reiner.

We are seeing her working together with Reiner to take Eren down right now. The definitive final question that would be answered soon was printed on the wall featuring Eren & Reiner’s exhibition panel:  “Who’s the one that will disappear from this world?”

I just hope that the right one(s) persevere. Reiner & Mikasa are going to Bonnie & Clyde/ Cloak & Dagger / Cyclops & Phoenix that shit out

Read on their characters compatibility in Part 2

[chaoticneutralwriter]

Catalyst

“There’s an old saying that says every demon was once an angel.

So tell me, is it possible for a demon to become one again?”

guardian demon! Jimin x reader

word count: 14.6k

genre: slow-burn, angst, fluff, romance, comedy, slice of life

Related works: see masterlist under Guardian Demon! Jimin

A/N: Shoutout to @milady-mira for this moodboard! Thank you all for the kind messages throughout the month as I worked on this T-T Unknowingly I had sucked myself into doing another chonky chapter but enough on that, let’s roll!

It’s been a good three days since Jimin sprang those tickets on you and you’re still riding on cloud nine. You wake up every day still thinking it was all a dream which makes you check your phone almost religiously, pulling up the app to see that yes, the two GA tickets to BTS’ Love Yourself Tour were sitting in your inbox. It’s gotten you feeling so good that you didn’t mind going to work at all for once. Today is no different, you started your day by spending a good ten minutes in bed after waking up just staring at your phone, smiling so widely that your cheeks ache. After drinking in the sight of the tickets for the nth time, you sigh contently, placing your phone on your chest to stare aimlessly at the ceiling in reflection.

-

“You’re not coming?” You can’t help pouting, head leaning heavily against Jimin’s chest as he carries you bridal style back to yours and Jaehee’s house. After much crying, you’ve protested against apparating back home in fear that you might actually throw up. It was a tough argument to make but when you threaten Jimin that if he risks it and you end up puking your guts out even when you had warned him, he’ll be responsible for cleaning it. So that got you both to come to a consensus of apparating as far as to get off the building and walking the rest of the way.

“Of course not cherub, would it make sense for someone who looks like the mirror image of your idol to be at their show? It’ll cause a riot.”

“Oh right… Good point.” You mumble, all tuckered out and practically half asleep at this point. “Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing already.” Jimin reprimands, adjusting his hold on you as he continues to walk. The rest of the way was filled with silence, with you more or less trying to fight off falling asleep right in Jimin’s arms. It’s proven difficult though, in your post-drunk state you’re more susceptible to the soft sounds of his heartbeat lulling you to a drowse. On top of that, the gentle rocking you feel from his strides does nothing to help, only making you feel more and more like a baby being put to sleep. So it’s no wonder that you lose track of all sense of time because the next thing you know, you’re entering your home and then you’re in your bedroom, being placed down into the comforts of your bed.

It takes everything in you to peel your eyes back open for just a second and the sight that greets you makes a lazy smile tug at your lips.

“What’s with that smile?” Jimin asks. You hear the beginnings of a chuckle slip through his words so you know he doesn’t mean anything snarky by asking. You blink but it feels like you’re keeping your eyes closed for way longer than necessary each time you do to consider it blinking.

“Thank you…”

“You’ve said that about eleven times tonight too.”

“Yeah…but I’m really thankful…for you doing this…” You say, words slurring into a mumble as you begin to finally give into sleep. The chuckle finally comes out softly as he takes a seat on the space by your head.

“Again, don’t mention it darling.”

You feel fingers comb through your hair and you instantly melt at the touch, eyes slipping close and unconsciously leaning further into it, a content hum escaping past your lips. His ministration nearly makes you miss his next few words.

“You should call your friends, do something for your birthday this weekend. You can figure out who you can take to the concert then.”

You probably should’ve told Jimin that stroking your hair was a sure way to make you knock out in less than five seconds (drunk or not) because the last thing you remembered before falling into a dreamless slumber was mustering up another hum in response and the feeling of soft, dexterous fingers against your scalp.

-

You had woken up embarrassed as heck and with a pounding headache but overall, overwhelmed with giddiness and gratitude for the demon that you had wanted to repay him somehow.

And see, there’s your problem right off the bat; how do you repay a demon besides forfeiting your soul to them? You suppose you could….Jimin doesn’t technically own your soul — you and him were just connected via your soul contract. You snort to yourself, the idea making you realize you’d make the statement of ‘selling your soul to the devil for some BTS tickets’ come true (he’s not the devil per se, but semantics). Still, you’re not sure if you want to jump that gun just yet since it’s a pretty big fucking life changing decision to say the least. But then your mind wanders; if Jimin were to ask however, would you agree?

A small part of you whispers yes.

But then that other half of you is telling you; you’re fucking nuts (you could only guess it’s the human instincts of self-preservation).

You let out a loud sigh, conflicted. Seeing no use in just laying around thinking about it until your hair turns grey though, you decide to get up finally, even if you did have the day off to lounge around. As you go through your routine, you continue to brainstorm on what you can possibly do for Jimin but, to no surprise, you come up with very few, meagre half-ideas that don’t seem right. As you’re finishing and heading to the kitchen to fix yourself a light breakfast, you realized something —

You haven’t really seen JImin at all for the past three days.

Your hand pauses on scraping the cream cheese on your bagel, head tilting to yourself. Now that you think about it, this is probably the second longest time he’s been gone. You never had the need to question it (probably some demon-related business) but that just means it’ll be even harder to do something nice for him. Maybe you should shoot him a text…? You grab your phone and pull up your message thread with him, tapping the text box until you’re confronted with the blinking text cursor. How should you go about this….?

“Hey…. What are you up to?”

You backspace on that; it doesn’t sound or look right to you. You try for a different approach.

“Yoooo….. Where’d ya go? Lol”

Wow, you’ve never backspaced fast enough. You let out a long sigh, slumping shoulders and tilting your head this way and that out of frustration. Why are you thinking so hard on this for? It’s just a check-up text, like asking your….friend if they wanna hang out after a long time. Ugh! Whatever! You puff up like a cat, bracing yourself unnecessarily as you type rapidly the first thing that comes to mind.

“Hey, haven’t heard from you for three days so just wondering where’d you go?”

Then you hit send before you can second guess yourself, tossing your phone onto the counter as if it has the plague. You turn away, not wanting to get sucked into that black hole of waiting around for a text back. So you settle on munching away on your bagel and finishing your cup of tea. You shuffle around the kitchen, cleaning and putting away dishes, all the while trying your darnest to avoid peeping over your shoulder to stare longingly at your phone like some lovestruck teenager waiting for her crush to text back. But after putting away the dishes and cleaning the countertop, you still have yet to receive a reply back from the demon in question.

Another sigh escapes you before you can stop it. You gotta find something else to do so that it’ll take your mind off of it — maybe watch some Netflix? You grab your phone, moving over to the couch to turn on the TV. Scrolling through the Netflix account, you blindly pick a long-running sitcom you had decided to binge one day and then stopped because you completely forgot about it. As it plays, you find yourself only half paying attention to the episode as periodically, you swipe your phone to scroll through your Twitter (and a small part of you begrudgingly admits hoping you’d see Jimin’s reply). As expected, your timeline is filled with BTS related things, whether it be about the first North American concert happening in three days or just compilation videos of members doing XYZ.

You stop on a particular one of Jimin and as the clip plays, a smile immediately stretches across your lips. Watching Jimin acting silly and laughing with his whole body is not something you haven’t seen before, but it never fails to make you laugh every time. You would bet that no one could resist either, even if they might not know who Jimin is because who can help it when he has a smile that turns his cheeks round and soft like mochi while making his eyes crease to the point where he can’t see anymore. Besides that, he always had an aura about him that glows with such warmth that anyone could clearly see how kind, sincere, and hardworking he is. And when he’s on stage — the thought alone makes you shake your head in disbelief because it’s like he becomes a different person. He’s no longer just a talented boy next door, he’s someone who was born to perform with an overflowing amount of charisma and stage presence.

A true contradiction if you’ve ever seen one, Park Jimin has somehow managed to embody both youthful, innocent smiles and sultry, seductive gazes. You chuff a laugh to yourself —  the more you think about it, you suppose it’s a rather good fit that your guardian demon looks like Jimin, and not just because he’s someone you associate affection with. You pause in thought, realizing something. From the start, you always had a clear distinction between your guardian demon and BTS’ Jimin because in spite of being mirrors of each other, they’re completely different, like the difference between the evil and good twin. But as time went on, you discover that they…. are actually quite similar, more than you had initially thought.

It’s….strange.

You absentmindedly scroll through your timeline again, so caught up in your thoughts that you don’t notice you’ve landed on an audio edit —

Of Jimin body rolling and doing all other manners of EXTREMELY RUDE THINGS TO VERY SULTRY MUSIC.

Your phone nearly goes flying out of your hand at how fast you chuck it away, cheeks warm and eyes wide. On second thought, you think it’s better that they’re a little bit more different from each other; having one Jimin who knows how to control his body like that is already one too many.

You shake your head as if to physically rid you of the thoughts because if it stays there any longer, you feel like you won’t be able to look your guardian in the eye for a very, very long time.

So you resolve to finally pay attention to the episode playing out in front of you until Jaehee arrives home. Your evening passes by in a flash and yet still, Jimin hasn’t texted you back. Dejectedly, your eyes cast away from the phone beside you for the umpteenth time that day, hand mindlessly going back to shovelling your fried rice around with your spoon.

“Hey, what’s up? You seem really distracted….” Jaehee comments across from you, concern furrowing her eyebrows.

“Ah… no it’s nothing…” You try to brush off, shooting a small smile but Jaehee doesn’t buy it, even her glasses (a rare sight for even you) doesn’t hide the way her deep brown eyes look at you with such dubiousness that it makes you doubt yourself.

“You keep staring at your phone like a kicked puppy. Is it about the BTS concert? It’s happening pretty soon right?”

You can’t keep the wry smile off your face at the mention of the concert. It gives you away on your sudden changed circumstances regarding it and Jaehee easily picks up on that along with your hesitancy to agree with her assumptions of what’s bothering you.

“Well….About that…” You start off, not knowing how to break this as lightly as possible. “I…actually have plans on going to their next stop…?”

The reaction is immediate, Jaehee’s hand stills and her eyes shoot wide open as she blurts out in rapid succession, “What?! Really?! So you got tickets?! I thought you said you weren’t?!”

It makes your lips quirk up more, her enthusiasm overwhelming you to where you had to abandon your dinner altogether to tackle all of her questions. “Yeah, I thought I wasn’t too. But then…Well…” You take the time to unlock your phone to pull up the solid proof to your claims, sliding it closer for Jaehee to see. She picks it up and gasps, a loud, drawn out noise with a dramatic flair at the end, eyes practically bulging from you to the phone screen and back.

“Oh my God, shut up!” Her rising excitement is contagious and so you can’t help but to return it with a wide grin. “You’re really doing it! Is it for the upcoming concert this week? Or the one after that?”

“The one after that.”

“You’re going with one of your friends then yeah?”

“Uh…Yeah…” Your hand comes up to rub your neck, already feeling your cheeks heating up. “I’m going with a friend of mine. Ji— Julien! Julien — he’s actually the one who got me the tickets.”

Even with the partial name slip, Jaehee drives forward, this new development clearly taking hold of her if her gaping mouth and wide sparkling eyes is anything to go by. “Oh my GOD! Are you for real!? Julien got you these tickets?”

When you nod, abashed, she only squeals delightedly before gushing, “Y/N! I think you found yourself a keeper!”

“Huh?” The sound escapes you before you can help yourself along with the rising heat of your cheeks. Jaehee passes the phone back to you, a knowing smile taking form on her lips.

“Julien seems like he’s really into you and totally gets you. I mean, to me, this is like the ultimate profession of love in your language — getting you tickets to see your favourite band.”

You feel your blush intensify at such a profound statement, wondering whether or not you should even mention that he’s paying for all the travel expenses as well and that on top of the tickets, that’s what you’re troubled over. So you settle on going with a half-truth; you think Jaehee might end up coercing you to marry Jimin right at this moment if you told her everything.

“Well, yeah I think it’s great and all but I feel really bad. I wanna do something nice in return for him.” You sigh, “I just don’t know what.”

“Ah…So that’s what’s bothering you.” Jaehee nods, leaning back in her chair with a pensive look, arms crossed. “You could maybe….treat him to dinner?”

Do demons even eat anything? You think to yourself. You don’t think you’ve ever seen Jimin consume anything for sustenance other than alcohol but even then, you think it’s just for the heck of it instead of a need. You shake your head — if it were anyone else, the suggestion would’ve been perfect.

“I don’t know what he likes…? He has…” You fumble for the right words to cover up your….special circumstances. “Dietary restrictions.”

“Ah…”

With that, both you and Jaehee fall back into a contemplative silence. Every once in a while, Jaehee would pipe up with another suggestion but they all end with a shake of your head.

“Ah well, I’m sure something will come up. Like maybe after your trip….?” Jaehee wriggles her eyebrows suggestively and you nearly choke on your last spoonful of fried rice. She barks a laugh at that, assuring you that it was just a joke (“…unless?”, she had tagged on which earned her an indignant smack from you and a cackle from her). You clean up and pack away leftovers before you eventually bid each other goodnight, heading off to wash up and settle for the night.

You were halfway through an episode of a drama that caught your interest when your phone lights up, the chiming notification muffled against your bedsheets. Your eyes instantly whip to it and when you catch sight of the name, you pause everything you’re doing, swiping to pull up the text thread.

“Miss me already? You’re so sweet cherub

(You roll your eyes)

But since you asked, I’ve just been doing errands here and there, mainly for your trip. Nothing to worry about.”

You huff quietly, though an endeared smile creeps on your lips at the thought all the same. However, the guilt indefinitely creeps back to you as you find yourself worrying your bottom lip at the mention of his generous act. You really want to do something nice for him, show him just how grateful you are that he’s going out of his way to do this for you (you honestly think this might even be out of his contract agreement as a temp guardian). At this point, you think you’ll have to settle for something like a bottle of alcohol — it’s the only sure thing you know that he’ll enjoy. Or maybe…

You shake your head; you need to give more thought on that.

“I’m just making sure you didn’t accidentally discorporate or something okay?

Who else is gonna pay for my flight and hotel XP

But I’ll make it up to you when I get to the duty free at the airport. I know you like alcohol but I’m still a broke college student so just accept my token of gratitude that way.”

You type, sending it off before you can overthink it. God you hate this — since when did texting Jimin become such a nail biting thing? You blow out a stream of air, flopping back onto your pillows in frustration.

Get it together, you tell yourself, patting your cheek only to come away scowling from how to warm it feels. A chime saves you from wallowing in your self-consciousness any further, bringing up your phone to check his response.

“Don’t worry about it, just go and have fun.”

Your heart involuntarily flips and you have to take a moment, putting your phone down for a bit — he’s not making this any easier. You roll around in your bed for a couple more minutes, reading and re-reading his message as the metaphorical butterflies in your stomach run wild. Once you’ve managed to reel in the rampant onslaught of feelings, shaking out your trembling fingers, it makes you realize something else; something rather important. The corners of your mouth tug downwards and after hesitating, you decide to shoot your shot.

“So… Are you not coming at all?”

When he doesn’t reply back immediately, regret instantly makes you backtrack, hastily typing an explanation but his response bubble pops up, stopping you.

“Never would’ve pinned you as a clingy type but I don’t mind ;)”

You have to smother your face in your pillow to muffle the loud groan you let out. When you get it out of your system, you race to finish what you were typing and hit send.

“I’m asking because we’re technically bound to each other by a blood contract and you never disclosed the finer details of it i.e. if large distance effects it or not.

So I need to know if it’ll be a problem because if so then you have to come too even if it means not being near the arena.”

“Haha, relax cherub. I get what you mean.

And you’re not wrong, distance does effect the bond of the contract. The farther away we are from each other, the less of a read on you I get. If anything were to happen to you, I won’t be able to help.”

You figured that much. It wouldn’t make sense in having a contract at all if important factors such as distance between the two parties didn’t have any effect. That just means either one of you could run away from the other and that would leave you both vulnerable; you in harms way and him risking the chance of losing a bail for his mischief with heaven. Besides that, a small part of you admits that you’d feel a little more comfortable traveling if you knew Jimin was going to be with you since this would be your first time flying with just another friend, even if it’s not that far out — it’s still a new place neither you nor your friend are familiar with.

As if reading your mind, another text pops up from him.

“I’ll be close by, I promise.”

A smile breaks out onto your lips, the butterflies erupting again and though they’re restless inside you from his words, you’re put at ease.

“I trust you…”

“…It’s late, you should go to sleep.”

“Okay… Goodnight.”

“Sweet dreams cherub.”

-

Dark chocolate eyes remain fixated on the screen for a moment longer, a number of emotions swirling within his chest threatening to become a hurricane, all from three simple words.

I trust you.

He thinks you a fool — there’s never, in the history of mankind’s existence, been a human who had openly said that they trusted a demon.

It never leads to good things.

But he thinks himself a fool too because those words mean more to him than he could ever imagined. Shit, he’s in deep, the acceptance of it pulls out a dry laugh from Jimin. He drops the phone away from his face, arm flopping to one side as his view shifts to that of the starless night sky above him. He’s had a lot to think on these past days ever since your birthday and though it wasn’t exactly a lie when he told you he was running errands, most of that time was spent trying to sort out his feelings.

The fact of reality is Jimin doesn’t have a lot of time left as your temporary guardian. By the looks of it, he’s pretty much done a good portion of what heaven had demanded of him and once he gets the official decree, the contract between you and him will be broken and he would have no business to linger around you less it was to tempt you into forfeiting your soul to hell — something he’d rather not do.

Yet in spite of it all, the thought of leaving you is something he couldn’t imagine doing, would not accept at this point. But as long as he is around, Jimin will only become a burden on your life, a toxic weight chaining you down in a pit of misery for he is a demon; a creature that causes misfortune on others and thrives off of it and as such, you’ll never be blessed with the good karma you receive from doing good deeds because he is not capable of bringing it. Any and all good things that happen to you will be short-lived in exchange for a hefty price because that is the demon code — nothing is without a cost, a sacrifice. And thus, he cannot remain with you as a temporary guardian nor demon.

Unless….

In his other hand, he grasps at the bottle of whiskey and drags it over this lips, the liquor leaving a burning trail down his throat in the big gulps he takes. It distracts him from his troubled thoughts but as per usual, the effects is much too short to offer any real relief. He doesn’t have long to sulk about it though because he senses another presence coming towards him.

“I have to say, this is uncharacteristic of you to have willingly called for me brother.” Jungkook steps close enough so that he towers over Jimin, forcing him to stare up at that annoyingly handsome, twenty-something year old idol’s face that he’s so fond of, doe-eyes gleaming mischievously with dark wavy locks framing either side of his face. “I’m a little suspicious.”

Jimin snorts, a hand wrenching free from one of his belongings to reach up and pinch the younger’s ankle. Jungkook skips out of the way with a throaty giggle before rounding back to the elder’s side. He makes himself comfortable, sitting down next to Jimin in his oversized t-shirt and baggy sweatpants that makes Jimin think what a waste of a body to be dressed like that. They sit in silence for a while, letting the city night life below become their white noise as Jimin watches the inky abyss above him with unseeing eyes while Jungkook carefully observes him.

He’s not unfamiliar with Jimin’s brooding and aloof nature, has seen it enough times over their years of being friends to the point where he’s able to read him quite easily. But now, as he gazes upon this perfect mask, there is no signs of indifference marring the almost angelic features, not even a hint of annoyance. Instead, the emotion he sees is melancholy — something that he’s never seen before but it is there, clear as day. The sight of it stirs an uneasy feeling in the pit of Jungkook’s stomach but he refrains from asking directly, choosing to hold onto the belief that perhaps it’s not anything serious. For now, he’ll do what he does best; prod for information.

“You seem awfully moodier than usual…. Has poppet’s gloominess finally affected you too?”

He sees two eyes slide over to focus on him, their colour a subdued ruby that belies the warning beneath them. But they seep away just as quickly as Jimin doesn’t move to enact said threat, not even verbally and his eyes drift back to staring listlessly above him. It has Jungkook quirking his eyebrows and before he can let his curiousity overtake him, Jimin’s voice cuts through the still night air.

“If you must know, she’s no longer not going to the concert.” He states plainly, “I’ve made sure of that.”

It takes a while for the words to register in Jungkook’s head but when he does process them, he’s gobsmacked.

“You didn’t…!”

When he’s met with no response, it only further confirms that indeed Jimin had gifted you tickets to your most sought after concert. Jungkook’s mouth falls open but he could produce no coherent words from the shock. It’s only after a minute of shuffling around, not knowing what to do with himself that the younger demon finally throws his head back with a loud bark of laughter.

“I cannot believe this!” He chokes out between cackles, “You actually bought tickets for her even after you claiming you’re not a ‘miracle worker’! Brother, you hypocrite!” Jungkook’s gives a hardy smack onto Jimin’s shoulder and ignores the glare sent his way from it. Once he calms down, wiping at the corners of his eyes, Jungkook continues teasing.

“So did she promise her soul to you in five years time or something? Surely you would’ve taken advantage of such a golden opportunity.”

Again, he’s met with silence from his companion only this time when it drags on, the air shifts and the unnerving feeling grows within Jungkook, the playful smile slipping from his lips. His thoughts begin to race with a multitude of questions, all coming to a conclusion he doesn’t think he’s ready to face yet. He opens his mouth in an attempt to carry on the light nature of the conversation but unfortunately for him, Jimin begs to differ, as if finally growing tired of humouring Jungkook.

“Enough with the small talk; like you said, there’s a reason why I’ve called you here.” Jimin says, his tone low with a seriousness that makes Jungkook think he’s about to deliver some grave news. “I have something to ask of you.”

From the way he says it, Jungkook feels like it’ll be a loaded question and it puts an immediate stop to any possible attempts of deflecting. Despite the darkness surrounding them, Jungkook could clearly see the swirling emotions that reflect in Jimin’s eyes, even if his face, for the most part, shows no signs of that turmoil. He wouldn’t have known just how conflicted his companion really was otherwise and it makes a small part of him not wish to know what the elder wanted to ask. But curiosity, the double-edged sword, has him gripped in its tight hold so he swallows, bracing himself with a shield of feigned disinterest.

“What is it, oh dear brother of mine?”

Jimin lets out a heavy breath, as if he too was bracing himself for something but he’s had time to mull it over thoroughly, his decision made and it’s now or never. So he pulls himself together, schooling his expression and he utters the words he knows will surely become a catalyst in disrupting the very order of heaven and hell itself.

“…Is it possible for a demon to become an angel again?”

His quiet words seem to ring even louder in the night that it’s impossible to be misheard by anyone. But that’s exactly what Jungkook wants to do, tries so desperately to convince himself to do, to the point where people will call him delusional. The question is so ridiculous that the younger demon is stupefied for what seems like an eternity before a loud laugh of disbelief escapes him in one choked exhale, the sound forced and unnatural.

“W-What? That’s— Don’t be ridiculous brother! You and I both know that —“

“Ezazel.”

All laughter ceases immediately at the name he had not heard in so long. It leaves him short of breath, shuddering as he inhales sharply like he’s been doused by cold water. Jaw clenching, Jungkook swallows as his eyes focus onto Jimin, the irises beginning to simmer a deep golden topaz behind the dark chocolate hues as he fights the tremors that threaten to overtake his body. Jungkook shoots up from his seat.

“You…” He strains, raising a threatening finger to Jimin, voice tight with effort to keep it steady. “I don’t know what games you’re playing at but—“

“No games I’m afraid,” Jimin says with a quiet, breathy laugh, an eerie calmness about him that has the younger demon slowly becoming more enraged. “Demons were once angels before they fell from grace, it doesn’t happen often but the fact of it is true. So surely, if that is the case, the opposite can be done as well.” Gaze flitting to Jungkook, Jimin adds, “Am I wrong?”

“I—“ The younger struggles to formulate words, teeth gritting and eyes glaring down at him, “What does it even matter? It’s impossible either way!”

“So there is a way?”

Jungkook freezes, mind stuttering at how he had accidentally got the tables on him turned by Jimin, but he supposes it’s only natural; behind that angelic face lies a cunning demon after all and unfortunately for him, one that always seems have a way with his words. Still, that won’t stop Jungkook from clamming up about what he knows or doesn’t on this matter.

“Like I said, it doesn’t matter whether I do or not hypothetically because I won’t tell you regardless!” Jungkook is huffing as he gets all of that out in one seething breath, his young face contorting into what Jimin worries will become a permanent stony scowl. It makes the corner of his lips twitch at how cute he looks but he suppresses it, not wanting to perhaps anger Jungkook more — he needs answers and he knows Jungkook is his best, if not, only chance at getting them. So Jimin remains steadfast, determined to getting Jungkook to spill.

“I don’t have much time left here…”

“Exactly, so why do you even want to know something like this? What’s the point?”

The question triggers an unintentional chortle from Jimin, gaze returning back to the desolate night sky briefly, the barest of smiles pulling at plush lips from the irony of it all and Jungkook could only stare, perplexed.

“I…” Jimin starts, trying to search for the right words. “Let’s just say I’ve made up my mind on something…for someone …”

The younger demon’s mouth falls open, moving the slightest to mouth the last phrase Jimin had said to himself as his eyebrows furrow in pensive confusion. His head cocks to one side, not understanding before all at once, it clicks together. Eyes shooting wide open, Jungkook whips his gaze to Jimin once again, a mess of emotion reflecting in them — shock mixed with disbelief mixed with outrage and disappointment that eventually all melt into a burnt, golden ember that seems to consume his whole sclera.

“You can’t be fucking serious….”

“Ez—“

Jimin’s attempt at quelling the younger’s temper fails as he’s quickly cut off by Jungkook as he starts to pace around in his spot, the anger rolling off of his broad shoulders in waves. “Look, it’s all in good fun when I said you’ve gone soft for her. Hell I think she’s just okay too but to risk your life for her?! Do you even hear how crazy that sounds?!” He scoffs, lips twisting into a sneer. “You know for all the decades of experience you claim to have, you sure aren’t really smart after all huh?”

The condescending comment makes Jimin narrow his gaze as he stands to step up to the younger, shoulders squared and eyes flaring to life to match the intensity of Jungkook’s.

“You don’t know what it’s like to live all those years, drifting from one decade to another until they all blur together, being stuck dealing with the same rotten piece of shit humans that can’t get sent to hell fast enough and when you think you’ve seen them all, they just keep on crawling out of the woodwork like fucking cockroaches.” A sort of pitying look softens his features for a split second as he says, “You’re still too young to understand.”

Whereas Jungkook’s voice had risen in volume with his growing rage, Jimin’s remains in a low, even tone; a cold, quiet anger simmering under his calm facade like a coiled snake ready to strike at any moment. Jungkook’s jaw ticks in defiance, not backing down but growing more agitated because he realizes…. He doesn’t recognize the person in front of him anymore. The revelation saddens him but most of all, it scares him.

“The only thing I don’t understand is how you think she’s any different; in the end, humans are all fickle creatures and you’re only fooling yourself to think otherwise.” The younger demon grits, glaring daggers down at the other demon. With one final shake of his head, he sets his hardened gaze on his dear friend and mentor, already turning away. He needs to leave, needs to get away from having to divulge his secrets or sort his feelings out, maybe both. Either way, it’s for Jimin’s own good. “I won’t let you do something as stupid as throwing away your life for one seemingly decent human girl.”

“You—!” Jimin begins, making a grab to spin Jungkook back around by the shoulder but all he grasps are wisps of black smoke as the younger apparates away.

Slipped right through his fingers, quite literally. Jimin ruefully scoffs, fist clenching as he exhales deeply, trying to rid of the tension that had stiffened his body. It’s no use though, and he’s again left alone to stew on his own except this time in a much fouler mood. His eyes fall to his forgotten bottle of whiskey, not much of the dark liquor left inside. Regardless, he picks it up and drains it in one go, a sad attempt at drinking away his problems.

When he swallows the last bit of the bitter alcohol with not even a hint of that numbing relief, he smashes the bottle against the ground, the crashing of glass breaking against asphalt intermingled with the sharp shout of frustration Jimin lets out. His shoulders heave in a struggle to regain his composure, one hand covering his eyes as if he’s willing away an incessant headache and after a few more deep, slow breaths, he somewhat relaxes; the searing hot anger running through his veins ebbing away into a tempered flame. Tilting his head back, his hand moves to run through his locks, tugging slightly at the roots as he looks out at the darkness above him — still no stars in sight no matter how long he stared.

Funny how a few nights before, he was staring up at the exact same starless sky and felt more at peace with himself than he’d ever been but now it all seems like a premonition, a bad omen of what’s to come. His lips pull back into a spiteful sneer; how apropos. Not like that would stop him, starless skies be damned, because ultimately they’re all the same to him anyways. It’s ruefully does he admit that they’ve only started to become something beautiful to look at when he had met you.

-

It’s with mild amusement and disbelief that you take up Jimin’s advice on ‘hosting’ a belated birthday get together with your friends. At first you were doubtful, with what few of the close friends you do have, the chances of them being able to come out were far more slimmer than average. But after working up some courage, you go for it anyways, shooting off a tentative text message in the group chat to see if anyone is up to hanging around, get some bubble tea and maybe lunch…? You’re open to ideas.

You weren’t expecting much but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel pleasantly surprised and happy that they were free and were excited to get together after such a long time. So with plans made and set, there’s only one thing left for you to worry about; just how are you gonna bring up the fact that you got two tickets to the concert and that you could only bring one of them? The thought instantly makes you anxious — it’s like you’re forced to pick favourites and you by no means favour a friend over another. But you have no choice, you only have the one ticket to give away.

You’ve managed to worry yourself up until the very day as you get up early the next morning. Should you maybe not bring it up as a group in person? Or would that make things look worse if you approach one person through text? But even then, you can’t guarantee the person you pick would be able to go either, then that just means you have to guess who’s most likely abled. Agh! You’re losing your mind over this and if you let it go any further, it would ruin your mood. So you decide to put it aside for now and see where the day takes you during this little outing. If the mood seems right then you’ll bring it up, if not….

Okay, no more thinking on this, just go with the flow. With one last shake of your head, you concentrate on getting to the designated meeting spot, determined to have a good time in the company of your friends. Luckily it’s easy because as soon as you’re all gathered together, it’s like no time has passed between anyone. You all fall into conversations comfortably, caught up and joked around with one another but of course eventually, the topic ends up on the subject of all your worries.

“Ugh! I’m so sad I can’t go to this concert!” One of your friend, Jess, whines, turning away from her phone screen as she no doubt must’ve caught sight of some fancams that happened for their first stop. “Why’d they have to skip over our city this year? I thought it was such a good turn out!”

Your other friend lets out a heavy sigh, slumping slightly at the mention of such tragedy. “I don’t know man, it sucks though! I was so ready to go! But the money for the travel on top of the ticket is too much for me.”

“Right? After saying they would come back next year too….All men do is lie.”

Your circle of friends laughs and you do too in spite of growing more and more fidgety in your seat, nervously sipping on your drink. You think this is the perfect time to break your silence on the deep secret you’re holding if you weren’t absolutely breaking out into a cold sweat simultaneously. You know you have to act fast though, before you lose the timing so in an effort to keep on it but not give yourself away, you throw in what sounds like to you some painfully awkward two cent.

“What if there was, like…a contest and the prize was a round trip to see the BTS concert….” Your hypothetical instantly catches the attention of your friends and you nearly shrink back out of intimidation, but you swallow the feeling, trying to keep casual about it and hope that your face isn’t as red as it feels. “But there’s only two tickets, ‘cus that’s how it usually is, so you can only take one of your friends, so like, how would you even decide that?”

Each of your friends hum in consideration, falling into a pensive silence before one of them speaks up, “Oh my God, I wouldn’t even know.”

“Right? Last minute trips would definitely not work for me like, as much as I hate to say it, I need money and can’t afford to quit even though I hate my job.” Soohee sighs.

“Pfft, I’d probably quit like….YOLO this is BTS; for my boys.”

“Or call in sick? Like,” Rosa says before she makes her voice sound more nasally and scratchy to portray a sickly tone, coughing in between sentences, ”’Oh sorry, I don’t think I can come in for at least three days, I’ve caught a really serious cold okay bye.’”

That earns a peal of laughter from everyone but your heart is pounding through it as you grin along. “But like, no hard feelings if that ever happens right?” You can’t help putting out there, masking your anxiety for playfulness.

“Yeah no, I mean we’re all friends here right?”

“Well….I might feel just a little bit salty if I didn’t get a ticket.” Mei jokes, scrunching her face but everyone all knows from her exaggeration that she means no real harm if it comes down to it. If anything, it successfully pulls another round of light-hearted chuckles from the group. Overall though, everyone collectively nods in agreement or verbally voices it and it’s enough to put you at ease considerably. The feeling of gratefulness warms you over at the genuineness you’re witnessing, making you think that you were worried over nothing. So when everyone settles down, you take a deep breath and muster up all the courage you have to say the next few but very decisive words.

“Okay because like…..I may or may not need to confess something… And you’re all probably gonna hate me for it.” You begin wryly with a crooked smile. Your friends perk up like meerkats towards your direction, always ready for some good tee. Rosa has one eyebrow quirked, eyes widen comically to pin you with a cartoonishly accusatory stare.

“What? Did you secretly score tickets without telling us?”

You nearly choke on your own spit, inhaling too sharply and you have to fan yourself for a second before you squeak out, “I mean… I-I have a good friend…who’s friends with someone who was part of a…group trip for the next stop of BTS’ tour in North America that dropped out so now he needs two people to take their spots so they asked me if I wanted to go and if I knew anyone else who wanted to go so…yeah! I have tickets to their next stop so do any of you guys wanna come with me?!”

It was a mess; you tripped and stuttered your entire way through, words spilling out faster by the time you finish your tall tale for this miracle. Your face feels like it’s on fire again as you mentally bash your head against a wall because anyone can smell this bullshit from a mile away and you don’t think you even explained that flights and hotel were covered for this trip right? Oh my God how are you going to explain that?!

As you mentally berate yourself, you don’t notice how all of your friends are stunned into a shocked silence, each with their mouths agape in various sizes until Jess sputters, hands flailing about in front of her before she’s gripping the table, leaning over from her seat on the opposite end of where you were.

“Hold on! Wait a minute! Pause! You’re saying you got connections to their next stop?!”

Her outburst causes a chain reaction, snapping all of your remaining friends out of their stupor to shoot rapid fire questions at you.

“Like are we talking free free? Or like they’re trying to sell tickets for cheap cheap?”

“You said group trip right? Like does that mean the spots dropped are free to take but like we gotta give a deposit or something?”

“Are you sure this isn’t some sort of scam? How good friends are you with this person?”

In turn, your mind goes racing to come up with more plausible answers to the loopholes they’re pointing out. You swear if you were starring in the movie ‘Inside Out’, the inside of your mind would be a scene of chaos — alarms blaring and all of your personified emotions running in a panicked frenzy yelling at the top of their lungs. Frantically before you abort mission altogether, you grabbed onto the one thing you can answer with full confidence.

“The person who told me about this and is offering is someone I’ve known for a while — I trust them so I know this isn’t a scam for sure.” You reassure, holding up your hands in a placating manner. “They said the group does these….trips really often and like, everyone has a lot of air miles or something so….a lot of the times some people fly for cheap or even free; something like that? And the deposit was already made by the two who were supposed to go and it’s non-refundable so they said they’d rather find someone just so it doesn’t go to waste. I don’t know, they explained it to me but it’s sort of complicated.”

“Wow, this sounds like  a bunch of rich people….” Mei comments, blinking in astonishment. “Must be nice…”

“Then what about a place to stay? Is it like…a hotel or an AirBnB? Is it even covered or is that something that needs to be split and paid?”

“….I think that’s the only thing left to be paid…?” You lie (along with this entire story but you have to add some sort of element of plausibility! It’s more suspicious to have everything come at no charge than for at least one thing to be paid for). “So yeah! Umm…anyone down?” You finish quickly with a slightly nervous laugh, eyes shaking.

You wait with bated breath as you watch your friends consider your proposition albeit still dubiously. You don’t blame them; you would be too but you can’t outright tell them the whole truth because that sounds like an even bigger lie than what you had already just told. Besides, you’re always known for being a truthful and trustworthy person (minus this big ol’ outright lie here but it’s with good reasons), not to mention not that gullible when it comes to these things — you consider yourself to be a pretty big skeptic! So surely….

“Okay but like…just one last question….” Rosa pipes up, sounding awfully serious that it has you a little on edge. Your shoulders unconsciously hunch up as you peer at her, waiting for her to call you out entirely but then, “Is your friend’s friend in the market for a sugar baby? Or like know anyone in their circle who is? ‘Cus…. I can give them my business card.”

That seems to dispel whatever remaining suspicions left as everyone bursts out laughing in solidarity, yourself included. The rest of the conversation regarding the trip transitions smoothly to everyone re-evaluating their schedules to see if they’re able to accompany you (within reason, much to the chagrin of all parties). It ends with people who were most likely to be available to settle a few final things before messaging you to say whether it’s a go or not, no fuss or muss (“because we’re all adults here”, Soohee iterates proudly). Overall, you’re very satisfied with the outcome having went way better than expected, the heavy weight lifting off your shoulders and the rest of the day resumes with more laughs, dinner, and even surprise belated birthday gifts (that got you choked up).

By the time you’re heading home, you’re feeling so happy that you nearly walk right past a certain demon. It’s only when he calls out to you do you startle out of your euphoric reverie.

“It worries me how increasingly prone you’re becoming to being at death’s door.”

“Oh shit! Jesus Jimin!”

“Flattered but point proven.” He chastises. Lowering your hand from your chest, you pout up at him before turning away to continue walking down the street to your home. He falls into steps with you easily, what with his long, lean legs but you’re in a good mood and if you’re being honest…. It’s nice to see him after so long. Giving him a once over, you note that Jimin’s still sporting an ashy brown for hair colour, cut short to where you can see a hint of an undercut with his cartilage silver piercing gleaming even in the low lights of the street lamps. He’s dressed in that casual chic way you’ve grown to know him for — one hand shoved into the pocket of his black jeans with a tear on each knee and a simple light denim button down with a square pocket with the words ’Saint Laurent’ scribbled on in black cursive ink. The sight makes you roll your eyes but smile nonetheless; it wouldn’t be him without it.

“I’m actually surprised to see you here; thought you were busy with….stuff.”

“Hey, you’re still technically my charge so my heads on the chopping block if you get distracted by a BTS billboard while crossing the street when you’re not supposed to.”

You choke a gasp of indignation, giving him a shove even though it does nothing more than make him teeter to one side slightly. It also pulls out a deep musical chuckle from him and you find your heart singing along to the tune. You freeze — Oh God, what was that? Your heart skipped a beat just now and it’s not because you had a good day.

“I take it things went well with today by the looks of that dopey smile.” His voice distracts you before you can get lost in dissecting the foreign feeling. When you turn your wide gaze up at him, he merely gestures to the little gift bag containing a new version of a BTS album you don’t own along with other goodies your friends know you’ll enjoy.

“O-Oh, yeah! It went way better than I expected actually. Everyone came out and we went for bubble tea, chilled and then had dinner. They even surprised me with late birthday presents, which they didn’t have to. Also, three of them said they would let me know if they can schedule time off to come with me; two of them said it was a most likely so that’s good.” When you finish recounting your day’s events, you suddenly feel shy, sounding like a grade schooler who’s telling their parents about their first day of school. But Jimin simply nods, humming here and there to let you know he’s listening. You both eventually reach the steps leading to your door and you dig around in your purse for your keys as he waits.

“That is good. You’ll have someone to go with,” Jimin pauses, teasing smile pulling back his perfectly pink lips, “and I finally won’t have to babysit you as much.”

You glower at him but when all he does is stick his tongue out at you, you roll your eyes with a shake of your head. “Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that.” And as retaliation, you mumble. “You big tsundere.”

“You know I heard that right?”

“I know, I was counting on that.” You say. As an afterthought, you stick your tongue out at him too and it’s his turn to roll his eyes. You clear your throat roughly to disguise the self-satisfying giggle that escapes your lips, turning back to unlocking your door, “Now are you coming in or not?”

You miss the look of conflict that flits across Jimin’s face as he hesitates on the invitation but ultimately decide against it, schooling his expression back with a carefully placed laid-back smile by the time you turn to look at him. “I’m afraid not; you know how it is.”

You let out a noncommittal hum; you figured and you want to sigh, a bit disappointed at his short visit but you can’t be mad at that. “Right; getting up to no good as per usual?”

“You know it, darling.”

The gruff noise you let out is more or less done to hide your traitorous heart; the term of endearment hitting differently this time around. You cross your arms for good measures, like a physical attempt at keeping your heart in check before it bursts right out of your chest as chew on your bottom lip. “Well, good night then I guess — try not to get discorporated and all that jazz.”

His smiles widens into a full on grin, teeth on display and eyes creasing into crescents. Just when you can’t get blind-sided anymore by him and his unfair beauty, Jimin leans in closer to you, hovering so close that you have to take a half step back and pray he for once, doesn’t see how quickly your face is reddening or how fast your heart is beating. Turning his head slightly, he taps the cheek facing you with a finger, “How about a goodnight kiss for good luck then?”

“Bye you dingus.” You deadpan, ears burning as you clatter through your door and promptly shut it once you step through it, heart pounding a mile a minute.

Jimin watches you go, the Cheshire grin growing into more of a fond smile. He doesn’t think he’ll get tired of seeing you so flustered; face flushed and lips chewing nervously. It’s an image he’ll keep to himself, another memory he’ll cherish of you amongst others because when he finally steps away from your door, it might be for the last time he’ll ever see you.

-

Ever since Jungkook had met Jimin, he had began to believe that there was a higher being controlling the universe and all that are within it — and he’s not talking about the forces Upstairs™. Some people might call it ‘fate’ or ‘destiny’, an intangible force who assumes no form and takes no sides.  

It’s the only way he can explain how he’d end up in this predicament. It’s a whole mess of irony that he thinks even God themselves couldn’t have seen or been capable of doing. He wants to both laugh and cry at the same time….and also strangle Jimin. Jungkook lets out a loud disgruntled groan, dragging his hands through his hair for the second time, dark brown locks mussing up wildly from the gesture. In the solitude of an abandoned rooftop building, he had been sitting by the edge lost in his troubled thoughts on the recent conversation he had with Jimin. He doesn’t know where to begin to unpack all of that.

He should probably start with the most obvious; how stupid the other demon is being and probably the most outrageously dim-witted thing he’s heard since….since his life as a supernatural entity! No sane being of their kind would risk giving up their life for one mortal being, let alone willingly (some may argue guardian angels but you’d be surprised that they’re way more political about it; not just anyone gets that sort of privilege). Jungkook can’t understand it, can’t seem to find words to process it but the more he tries, the more he realizes that it’s not so much about what Jimin wants to do for you, rather it’s what he did to him.

What Jimin plans to do had awakened a long forgotten wound of his that he thought had disappeared, leaving him restless and a bitter taste in his mouth. It dredged up distant memories that felt like they were from another life time ago, or even of someone else’s — his memories, but ones that were best left to be forgotten because they weren’t something he looked back on fondly. It was a time where he felt like a lost puppy; didn’t know who he was or what he was meant to be and so, felt like he didn’t belong anywhere. So how ironic is it that he was able to find himself when he met Jimin, of all things, a demon.

But by no means did they hit it right off the bat when they first crossed paths. No, it was very clear that the bored demon had no intentions of befriending Jungkook at all — in fact, he always had an air of distaste whenever he decided to be a nuisance to Jungkook,, often times appearing when he least expected. And the feeling was mutual, so least to say, neither of them could have predicted that the exact opposite happened.

Over time, Jimin had unknowingly grown fond of Jungkook in a way where he sees parts of himself in the younger while Jungkook had begun to see that Jimin really did have a heart somewhere in his chest after all. Jimin had been the one to give him a choice, opened his eyes to seeing the possibilities, to not be afraid of being himself and because of that, Jimin is someone….he cares about, even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud.

So he has his reasons.

Besides, what’s so special about you anyways? Sure, you let him crash your place from time to time, bake some bombass chocolate chip cookies and he guess you’re pretty funny for a human but other than that, you’re just human; one small blip among the millions — billions — of other fragile souls on this earth that are all destined to perish with time.

Just what does Jimin see in you that's worth protecting?

Well, he supposes sitting around thinking about it wouldn’t give him answers. So with a stretch, Jungkook gets up, peering out at the city horizon as the first warm rays of orange light breaks through the midnight blue of the night sky. He watches for a few moments longer as it becomes brighter and brighter until the sun had chased away any remaining darkness left. It looks to be another clear day, only a few clouds dotting the azure sky but it’s as they say, sometimes a storm can be just around the corner.

-

When you wake the next day, it’s way before your alarm clock that you set for work but instead of feeling bitter about losing precious minutes of extra sleep, you decide to just lay in bed, using the time to slowly wake at your own pace until you feel like you’re up to the task of getting up finally. You also feel refreshed and in a good mood, oddly enough. Kind of sad if you think too long on it, how this feeling is so foreign to you that you can’t even recall the last time you had felt this way; maybe because they were all too short-lived to begin with anyways. Ah, you forcefully stop yourself from exploring those thoughts any further or else you’ll spiral and start needlessly worrying. You’re living in the now so you should enjoy it and that’s one inspirational quote you’ll actually live by. How couldn’t you when you’re literally going to a BTS concert in less than two weeks.

…

Holy crap you have less than two weeks to prepare.

You bolt upright in bed, suddenly overwhelmed with a pressing matter at hand. Your heart flutters in a strange mixture of excitement and mild panic as you sit there, completely stunned at the fact that this is happening and you still have so much you need to do!

That has you getting up in no time, going through your morning routine faster than you can comprehend with your mind racing with what seems like millions of different thoughts per second. You rush around, trying to do ten things at once; check your phone for any new updates from your friends, make yourself breakfast, finding out where the heck you had left your luggage case, and before you know it, you’re scrambling out the door because you lost track of time for work.

You make it with just barely two minutes to spare but once you start your shift, time seems to reverse its effect on you and the hours begin to tick by slower than watching grass grow. Doesn’t help that you were stuck as a cashier again, the bane of your existence. Though your manager assigns tasks for you to get done around the queue line, you can barely get far enough before running back to your register to cash out any customers that approach. Plus, it has you feeling more like a meerkat in the Savannah; constantly having to pause in concentration to pop your head up to keep an eye out to avoid leaving customers waiting. So in short, you didn’t get anything done.

It leaves you feeling disgruntled but ultimately, you can’t find the strength to care anyways (you aren’t paid enough to). You’re on your last two hours of your shift, cashing out the last customer before the line is deemed clear for you to scurry back over to the closest aisle you were reorganizing but when you round the corner into it, you bump into a body.

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry I didn’t see you!” You gasp out hurriedly, the blow disorienting you for a second so when you finally get a good look at the person, you almost do a double take, eyes widening in surprise. “Jungkook?”

“Hey, poppet — been a while huh?”

And it has, now that you get a good look at him. He’s dressed like he always does — a baggy black shirt that looks to be two sizes too big on him and matching black jogger pants but his hair on the other hand; the dark locks are much longer than you had last remembered, the fringes splitting in the middle nearly reach down to either sides of his chin, falling in thick, wavy locks. It has you starstruck; only ever used to seeing the actual Jungkook from BTS with short, coiffed hair either parted slightly to the side or with fringes flopping over his forehead. If you dare say it, this new look has you almost falling for him, almost. You eventually compose yourself and, after glancing around to make sure no one was around, you drag him deeper into the aisle to continue your conversation.

“Yeah it has,” You begin, feeling strangely awkward but nonetheless happy to see the younger demon. “Thought your visa expired or something.”

Jungkook shakes his head before sweeping the hair out of his eyes briefly as they gleam along with the barest hints of those two bunny teeth through his smile. He’s cheeky as you had remember him being, but for some reason, you sense that it’s been dialled down by a couple of notches like something is weighing on his mind. Just as you’re about to ask what he’s been up to without being too invasive right off the bat, he speaks up first.


“When do you get off work?”

“Uh..In like,” You check your watch, “Two hours or so?”

“Good, let’s go somewhere after.”

His proposal takes you off-guard, this probably being the first time he’s ever asked you to go anywhere with him, much like Jimin before he spontaneously took you star-gazing (or lack thereof) for your birthday. Now you know something is definitely up, and you can’t help but eye him suspiciously for a good minute. He picks up on your skepticism and only chortles a laugh, reaching out to ruffle your hair which you squawk in protest before swatting his hand away vehemently.

“Relax poppet, I just…have something to talk to you about — regarding your glorified watch dog.”

“Hey!” You automatically gasp affronted, going in to smack the younger demon for bad mouthing his senior. “That’s rude and for that I’m almost tempted not to take you up on your offer.”

“But you will anyways because you’re too nosy right?”


You have nothing to say to that and it only makes Jungkook beam at you, a full on shit-eating grin. He might’ve pronounced it as ‘nosy’, but what he meant to say was ‘curious’. And that is one vice that you can’t seem to help about yourself. So you begrudgingly agree to meet him after you finish, all the while secretly glad to have something to help you power through the remainder of your shift.

It’s evening by the time you clock out, fishing your phone from your pocket to check the time and also answering a couple of text messages, one of them being your friend who has successfully worked out everything on her end to be able to attend the concert with you. The good news washes away any mental exhaustion you feel from work instantly, and you can’t help the wide smile that breaks out over your lips. You return your friend’s enthusiasm through a series of keyboard smashing text bubbles and badly misspelled words but vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass aside, it all further makes everything feel so much more real; like this is actually happening.

“Hey, you know texting and walking is becoming the leading cause to pedestrian deaths in the past year recently right? Stop contributing to that.” Jungkook’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts as well as his grip on the back of your shirt, yanking you until you feel yourself tipping backwards but just as you let out a yelp, your surroundings shifts in a swirl of colours and warped images and before you have a chance to make out any of them, it stops and you find yourself in a completely different place than where you had been.

You stumble on your feet, going as far as to grip onto Jungkook’s arm less you wanted to fall flat on your face until you feel like you have a grasp on your vertigo again.

“Don’t,” You wheeze, blinking hard in hopes of stopping your world from spinning in your eyes, gaze firmly locked on your shoes. “Don’t do that without warning next time!”

“Then what fun would that be?” You hear Jungkook snicker above you.

You want to smack him again but you’re more focused on pulling yourself together. When you do, you finally let go of his arm to take a look at your surroundings. You’re surprised to see that Jungkook had teleported the both of you to what appears to be a rooftop garden. And not just the typical, modern city rooftop garden that looks like an open patio people would host fancy cocktail parties on, no, this is an actual garden on a rooftop. You’re standing on a gravel pathway that’s bordered by different shrubberies interspersed with tall, wispy ornamental grasses that sway at the slightest of breezes. In areas where there are more soil space, you spot what appears to be bushels of lavender peeking through to break up the shades of green that overtake the place but what’s even more surprising is that you also spy a couple of trees planted that gives you the impression that this is quite a big rooftop.

“You’ll catch a fly if you keep your mouth open like that.”

You immediately snap it shut, not doubting Jungkook on that considering how much greenery you’re surrounded with, but it still doesn’t stop your amazement from coming through.

“W-Where is this? Are we still even in the city?”

The demon snorts, stuffing his hands into his pant pockets as he begins to stroll off. “Yeah, it’s just a place I found. Apparently it’s owned by some big shot CEO.”

You hastily pick up your pace in order to catch up to his longer strides, can’t help your brow from furrowing at the information. “What if we get caught up here?”

“Nah, bastard hardly ever comes up this far in the building — it’s all just for show. Besides,” Jungkook smirks, “Who says ‘we’re’ getting caught? Other mortals can’t see me remember.”

Right.

You kiss your teeth at that, having no choice but to believe in the younger demon that you won’t get caught trespassing any time soon. So with a sigh, you continue alongside Jungkook as you make your way around the garden. “So,” You start off, “You said you wanted to talk to me about Jimin?”

You glance up at Jungkook when he offers you no immediate response, catching an eyeful of his profile. Deep brown eyes are lost in the horizon ahead of him in an almost trance like state as the slowly setting sun turns the sky into vibrant hues of pink, orange and purple. The warm rays cast upon Jungkook’s skin makes it appear almost golden, glowing from the inside and his hair shines with a rich lushness that you even catch the subtle hues of brown in them.

You’re so caught up in his visuals that for a moment you actually think it’s a good thing no one else can see him because no doubt, he’d be turning heads and getting mobbed just by walking down the street (or perhaps it’s a shame that he can’t be seen). You also get caught up at how scarily accurate he seems to have the actual Jungkook look pinned down; from his shapely thin lips, cutting jawline, prominent nose to his expressive doe eyes and of course, his signature bunny smile. It makes you wonder if there was something he missed from being a perfect copy of the young Korean vocalist.

Finally, as if feeling eyes on him, Jungkook inclines his head towards you, shaking his long fringe in order to see through them and making the numerous silver hoop earrings on his lobe and cartilage twinkle in the remaining light. You try to school your face into one of indifference but the creeping blush on your cheeks gives you away at your shameless staring (you think you might’ve been openly gaping at him too, how embarrassing!)

His lips twitches in the slightest at the corner but he doesn’t comment. Instead he silently ambles over to the left of a slight fork in the path, coming up to what you finally notice are small steps leading to a slightly elevated, wooden deck that gives you an impressive view of the city below behind the safety of glass panels and railings that come up high enough to prevent anyone from climbing over. Jungkook comes to a stop before it and you follow suit just beside him. Another moment of silence passes between you two before he asks you a question that takes you completely off-guard.

“What do you think of Jimin?”

You buffer in answering, mind jumping to all sorts of interpretations and wild assumptions. Clearing your throat to mask the fact you might’ve choked on your spit a little, you stutter out with the vain attempt at seeming totally nonchalant about it, cheeks burning for different reasons this time, “L-Like what? Like, how he is as a demon? Or…like, him as my guardian….?”

“Him, as himself, as honest as you can be.”

You suck in a breath, thrown into an even bigger loop at how blunt Jungkook’s being so suddenly in regards to your guardian demon. “Well,” you drag out, eyes shifting self-consciously as your hand reaches up to scratch the back of your head. “If I have to be honest…I…I think he’s pretty alright for a demon….”

“….Really?”

The deadpan and disbelief in Jungkook’s tone makes you whip your gaze to him and his expression makes you blink incredulously at him. He almost looks offended and a little too serious for a simple enough question, as if your answer will determine the fate of the universe and you just fucked everyone over by giving a half-assed one. It has you back-tracking defensively, like you really did doom humanity but it’s not like you mean to! No one told you so much was at stake in the first place!

“W-What?! Why are you even asking me this so suddenly?!”

Jungkook lets out a loud sigh, the sound rough around the edges from frustration bleeding into it as he says, “Just — “ But then stops himself, shutting his eyes briefly as if to reconsider his approach. You watch quietly as he runs a hand through his hair, tousling the locks and watching them fall back into place. He takes a deep breath in before letting it out, eyes sliding back open to the view in front of him. It’s dark now for the most part, the warm orange light from the setting sun being nothing more than a sliver of colour that eventually gets engulfed by the overwhelming navy blue of the night and in its place are the millions of fluorescent lights that shine from the windows of the buildings and skyscrapers around you.

It’s a nice scenic view from where you and Jungkook both stand, but you’re more so concentrated on trying to read the demon’s expression, so unused to seeing his handsome face pinched into something that isn’t cheeky or teasing in nature. The sight of it mellows you out, thinking that perhaps there really is a much more serious meaning to his question. After a few moments, Jungkook speaks again, his voice low and gravelly with an unknown emotion.

“You and I both know that Jimin doesn’t have that much time left as your guardian. And you and I both know what that will mean when the time comes.”

Ah, there it is.

Your chest suddenly feels as if a weight has nestled itself on it at the sobering statement. Every once in a while, that fact has crept into your thoughts but each time it did, you had always pushed it aside; for more pressing matters at the moment and simply because…. You don’t want to think about it. You don’t want to think about the limited time you have left to spend with Jimin and that at any moment, he’ll tell you he’s leaving or even worse, he’ll simply be gone without a word or trace, and you’ll just have to move on with your life.

“Y-Yeah…I know.” You struggle to work around the constricting feeling, fingers fiddling with the strap of your bag. “I…I just don’t like thinking about it.”

You glance over when Jungkook doesn’t give you a response, only to meet his deep brown gaze already on you with a look that tells you to elaborate. Your face flushes again at having to divulge your inner most feelings but as you had come to realize earlier, this means a lot to Jungkook so you feel obligated to give a (much more) honest answer. Swallowing, your eyes fall onto anywhere but at the demon beside you.

“You better not tell him this…” You can’t help muttering petulantly before starting, “Jimin….He’s done a lot for me — things that I can’t even express my thanks for in words. I don’t know if he told you or if you found out, but he got me tickets to go see BTS.”

“So I’ve heard…”

A small smile creeps up on your lips at the memory, recalling all the emotions you felt on that day. “I honestly didn’t expect him to; I even said I didn’t want his help in scoring tickets the first time he offered but then, he just goes and…gets them.” You shake your head. “He really didn’t have to you know? I mean, it would’ve sucked that I didn’t get to go but I would’ve gotten over it somehow, eventually. So for him to go out of his way, doing something that I’m sure was beyond his contract as my temporary guardian is…. “ You trail off, not knowing if you can find the words or if there really is any to describe how grateful you are because Jimin giving you those tickets meant more than just being able to see BTS, he’s given you a shoulder to cry on (quite literally), listened to your deepest worries that you seldom talk about even to your closest friends and given you his honest advice and support. He’s looked out for you in little ways when there are times he could’ve chosen not to, made sure you ate, slept and took time for yourself.

He showed you that there is a sort of hope that all things will pass and good things will come in time. You don’t know when it happened, but Jimin had become a great source of comfort for you, something irreplaceable and someone who had made you want to do better, take chances and just…live a little.

“He might not like to admit it, but Jimin’s a lot sweeter than he lets on… Or at least, when he deems you worthy of being in his good books.” You let out a light laugh, already picturing his stink eye at the mention of him being remotely ‘good’. From beside you, you hear Jungkook snort.

“I really want to repay him somehow…. And not just for giving me tickets to see BTS. But I don’t think there’s anything I can do or give that would be enough and that… that frustrates me.” You conclude, your own voice dropping into a wistful murmur as you lean against the railings.

Jungkook watches you, seeing the faraway glassy look in your eyes that tells him how lost in thought you were. He sees the way your face seems to soften, heard the way your voice had grown quieter in the gentle way you had spoken of Jimin and though it had not been much, Jungkook’s heard all the things you’ve left unspoken.

It’s the same whenever Jimin speaks about you.

He scoffs quietly under his breath, defeated.

“H-Hey! Don’t leave me!” You yelp, breaking out of your train of thoughts just in time to catch the creak and rustle of Jungkook descending the small steps to continue the walk down the pathway which had been lit up by little post lights along the ground. You hurry after him, not wanting to risk being stranded on this tall high-rise office building that you have no business being in. “You still never told me why you’re asking me this all of a sudden.”

“…Just think of it as a warning for what’s to come.” Jungkook says simply. “It won’t be easy, and you’re only making it harder on yourself by becoming attached.”

You stiffen, the grip on your bag strap tightens as your steps slow a bit to a drag, kicking up the small stones as you go. “I…I know that… I just…” You sigh heavily, shoulders sagging. “I’ll deal with it when the time comes alright?”

It’s a pathetic answer even to your ears, but as much as you want to ignore the elephant in the room, Jungkook’s right. There’s no stopping Jimin from leaving you once he gets the okay from heaven — it’s heaven for crying out loud, who goes against the words of God? Besides, who’s to say Jimin would want to stick around you if given the chance. Maybe it’s just you that’s clinging onto him because of all he’s done for you…. But can you really blame yourself for that? He’s done so much and yet you could do nothing —

You nearly stop walking altogether, realization hitting you like a ton of bricks. Unknowingly you’ve come full circle to the one thing that had been fixated on your mind ever since you’ve thought about it and now… Now you’re starting to think that maybe, unconsciously, you’ve already decided on what it is that you wanted to do.

Your faltering steps catches Jungkook off guard when he notices you weren’t following him, making him turn around to see that you in a way he could only describe as a lightbulb going off in your head.

“What, forgot you left the stove on at home?” Jungkook asks, one eyebrow raised.

You blink back to reality, taking a moment to process what he said before shaking your head. “No, no…Just remembered something…”

He gives you a weird look before shrugging and you fall back into step with him again. Eventually, the two of you reach a sort of dead end where there is fewer plants and an open space that reminded you more of a sand garden instead. Patches of shrubbery still dot around in this spacious area but all that appears here is a stepping stone path that leads to a bench situated under a large tree. It’s significantly bigger than the small maples that you had seen walking around the gravel pathway but it still only had a few small green leaves scattered sparsely on its branches, seeing as how spring has only just begun. Along with the LED lamp lights stuck into the ground along the pathway, the space is also lit up by fairy lights that outline the border of this part of the garden that you had no doubt would make for a great place for a romantic date.

It’s nice, you think idly as you admire your surroundings, if only this was a public place and not on some rich asshole’s building, you would’ve loved to come back here just to find a peace of mind every once in a while. Your eyes wander back to Jungkook, finding him standing under the tree, head tilted back to stare up at the thick trunk. As you approach him, you see him reach out a hand to touch the rough bark in quiet contemplation and as if sensing you behind him, he speaks without turning.

“You’re a good kid poppet — and I’m kinda starting to see why Jimin hadn’t locked you in a basement for the duration of his community service hours just to get it over with.”

“Uhh….thanks? I guess…” You reply, bewildered but strangely reassured.

“Make sure you don’t lose that good head of yours in the future, yeah?” Jungkook says amicably but you can’t help to think that there is something deeper to his well-meaning words. When he turns to you, you nod regardless and it’s enough to have the corner of Jungkook’s lips lift in a half smile filled with something you can’t quite discern in the shadows that fall across his face. It’s gone before you can really pin it down as Jungkook runs a hand through his hair, pushing the thick locks out of his eyes and gestures with his chin at you.

“C’mon, I’ll take you home before your guardian chews my head off.”

-

“I already told you; we’ll meet tomorrow at midnight, I’ll pay you half of the money and then the other half when we’re done.” Jimin grinds out between his teeth, clutching his phone so tightly he fears he’ll end up cracking the device. The person on the other shoots off more bullshit that Jimin could care less about and with a hard roll of his eyes, he ends the call abruptly, the boiling irritation makes his skin feel hot. He runs a hand through his hair out of habit, mussing the brunette strands until they fall slightly parted against his forehead.

If he hadn’t known better, Jimin thinks being smited would’ve been way less painful than what he’s gotten himself into. But then again, it’s pretty fucking hard to find a reliable informant in the black market on ways to transition himself into a guardian angel. Or at least, that’s what he hopes would happen. Jimin lets out a scathing laugh, finding this all morbidly funny, considering this was the least shadiest option he’s found in his day and a half manhunt after getting Jungkook to help him was a bust.

No matter, Jimin’s come into terms that he’s willing to bet everything he has at a shot of this. He’s not willing to wait around and let some higher being decide his fate if he so can help it because for the first time in in his life, this is something he’s willing to fight for.

And if this all goes to shit….

Well, he at least likes to think he’s a decent gambler.

Taking the crystal glass in his hands, Jimin knocks back the drink with ease, letting the smokey aftertaste linger on his palate as he licks his lips. When he sets the glass down, he bristles, suddenly aware of an all too familiar presence beside him.

“If you’re here to berate me, then save your breath because you’re not going to change my mind.”

Jimin hears a loud sigh and then suddenly the bartender scurries over from having been waved down by the younger. Not long after, a second glass of whiskey is placed before them, making Jimin quirk an eyebrow.

Jungkook takes a healthy swig of the drink, grimacing as he swallows. He turns to Jimin who looks at him with open curiousity.

“Last I remember you don’t like whiskey.”

“I don’t like a lot of things brother,” Jungkook corrects, dark eyes trained on the way he swirls the liquor in his glass absentmindedly. “And as much as I don’t like what you’re planning to do, I’d rather not have you doing something even more dangerous for it.” He inhales deeply, as if after much deliberation, finally turning his attention to Jimin, a hard look marring his face.

“That’s why I’ll tell you — I’ll tell you what you need to do to become a guardian angel.”

[leakinghate]

Chasing the Ghosts of Season 8

Let’s skip the flowery intros and get to the point, because this is important.

Lotor’s vindication and reunion with Allura were originally part of VLD s8 and I can prove it. Most animation relating to this plot was excised, while other clips were re-purposed to make it look like he was dead all along: but some are still in there.

The removal of this plot line was one of the major factors in completely messing up season 8, and it was a change that was made very recently; no earlier than August in fact. There is a significant, non-zero chance that an unedited version of Season 8 exists in its entirety; completely finished.

The evidence is below the cut.

Trigger Warnings: Gore - that image and discussion of it, body horror, sexism, and major character death.

There’s something rotten in the house of Voltron, and by that I mean Dreamworks animation, because for reasons yet unknown the season 8 we got was not the one the writers had planned to give us.

The people involved likely can't talk about it due to NDAs, but I follow *most* of the cast and crew on social media, and from the way many of them were talking prior to the drop it’s obvious that whatever they'd recorded had led them to expect a very different season.

The almost total radio silence afterward is also telling.

So far as I can tell, AJ (Lotor’s VA) is the only one actively posting about it, and his posts have been expressing his distress over what happened to Lotor - a stark contrast to his excitement about the season prior to its airing. It’s very apparent that he thought Lotor would have a very different fate than he appears to. At the moment of the season drop he tweeted out “Lotor was framed”, and later didn’t seem to realize that ‘Allura’ was trending because she’d died.

Some of the other VA’s scarce posts lead me to believe that they’re having similar reactions: a now deleted post from Bex (Pidge’s VA) about having watched up to episode 6 consisted of an image of DOTU Lance captioned with “[internal screaming]”. Bex has since removed all references to VLD from her bio.

I’m certain that the VLD s8 we got was NOT the s8 that was originally planned. Or the one the writers and VAs had been alluding to in various interviews up until recently.

We know there were some very last minute changes to season 8. I guarantee you that Ezor was actually dead before the backlash over Adam in August, and you're kidding yourselves if you think that epilogue existed before then either.

Kihyun Ryu's 'last Shiro' tweet - that we now know to be from the wedding epilogue - was posted on September 13th, 2018. Less than two months ago these changes were still in progress. Less than a month before the first trailer premiered at NYCC these changes were still being made.

And those was absolutely not the only things which were changed. It was hinted we should pay attention to the s7 episode "the Feud" to spot some foreshadowing. Well? I've seen both that episode and s8 and I sure as heck can't find it.

This was beyond last minute.

JDS and LM were still talking in ways that would lead us to expect Lotor’s redemption roughly up to s7 in August; so whatever happened, it went down between August and November. Which is probably why s8 is so shitty; with such a terribly compressed timeline to make edits.

And edits they were, because with those time frames season 8 was either completely finished or very near to it when someone decided that things had to change.

I can prove it.

Do you know how?

Because the animation was recycled and altered to fit the new story, with only small parts made new for it. And because it was something else first, it’s still possible to partially reconstruct the original Season 8 from it.

Lets start with the big one, the one I’m sure you’re here to read: Lotor’s redemption and reunion with Allura.

One of the most frustrating things about season 8 is that it leaves the colony unexplained. The big question, the thing that results in Lotor’s murder at the hands of people he calls friends, and leads to a power vacuum that causes the deaths of untold billions of people. What was Lotor doing at the colony?

It’s never addressed or given an answer.

At least in the version of season 8 that we got.

Or is it?

Because they might have removed the conclusion to that plot thread, but they couldn’t get rid of it entirely.

In e8 ‘Clear Day’. Allura's suffers from several nightmares/dream sequences. They don't make any sense in context, and it’s never explained what caused them. Except, they make perfect sense, if you watch them as the first step towards understanding The Colony. 

Allura sees herself standing in a Juniberry field on Altea. Her mother greets her and proclaims that Allura has arrived just in time, and that only she can save them, “Only you can protect us.”

A Galra fleet passes over head, raining down laser fire.

Allura suddenly finds herself the pilot of one of the white mechs. She plunges her spear into the ground, draining the quintessence, and then fires on the fleet; obliterating it.

But as she grins in victory she realizes that the quintessence she siphoned from the planet has turned her immediate landscape to ash, including her mother. Allura is horrified, but as her mother crumbles away her voice echoes, telling Allura she is so proud of her.

In case me describing it wasn’t clear enough: what just happened to her was that Allura was literally put in Lotor’s position, operating one of his mechs. The places and the people were those that Allura cherished deeply, so that she could understand how terrible Lotor felt about what he had to do. It literally puts Allura in Lotor's place: having to take the responsibility of destroying parts of something she loves in order to protect the whole. 

And her mother? The Altean who was ‘sacrificed’ in this scenario? Praised her for taking the actions she did, because Allura was the only one able to do it. And the only choice was to save most of Altea, or none of it.

When Allura eventually does take the entity into herself we see the lights of Honerva’s mech’s faceplate lighting, then flash to a scene of Lotor in Sincline. He’s laughing, grinning as he did during s6′s finale, and as the camera zooms in on his face he shouts “Follow me!”

Briefly we see Voltron in front of the planets of Earth’s solar system, which is drowned out by a peculiar scene transition: an intense white light that appears to obliterate everything as though in an explosion.

None of these scenes are ever explained, but it’s reasonably comparable to the flash of images that Haggar sees in season 3 when she is first confronted with Zarkon’s memories. We’re left with the impression that we’re about to be enlightened, and the end of the episode reveals that Allura has passed out on the floor unconscious.

In this version of season 8, we never are told what exactly caused Allura to experience those visions. We can guess: was it perhaps the entity tempting her with its dark magic? Honerva attempting to place her under a spell?

But is the entity really dark magic? It’s different from the types of magic we’re used to, and the colors of it are certainly dark, but it in itself never actually causes Allura harm. Any harm she suffers after taking it into herself is caused by Honerva exploiting it.

Could it be a spell by Honerva? Unlikely. It took her almost two whole episodes of the paladins fooling around inside her mind for her to notice they were even there. If Allura had never taken the entity none of Honerva’s plans would have ever been found out. Yes, she did steal all the energy from the Atlas’ crystal, but she did that primarily to combat the Atlas and disable it. She didn’t need to get it from there, the energy her Komars were able to provide was all she needed.

So what caused those visions?

Lotor did.

Once he was free of the rift he was able to connect with Allura somehow and reach out to her. That was really him. Where he is now, trapped under Haggar’s control, he has no means to combat the witch. But Allura does. Everything he says to her? Is true.

The next episode, s8e9 “Knights of Light: Part 1″ begins with Allura awaking, Coran and Lance by her bedside. She’s been asleep for two quintants (days). She has apparently come up with a plan to infiltrate Honerva’s mind, but from whence she gets this plan is never explained. That’s because we’re missing an entire episode between these two. This is where Lotor’s redemption happens, where he and Allura finally reunite. God knows what else was in that episode, what else was happening while the paladins were waiting for Allura to wake. Lotor bids Allura to follow him, to finally allow him to tell his side of the story, and for some reason we weren’t allowed to hear it.

But from what we did get to see? It all but confirms @crystal-rebellion‘s Colony Theory. Albeit, the white mechs were built by Honerva, but Lotor was attempting to keep the colony safe in the only way he knew how. The Alteans who died did so willingly; to preserve the lives of all the others.

There’s a repeated narrative that the only person who encourages Allura to take action, to strive and push forward, is Lotor. Sometimes others accept it, but they never encourage her. Everyone else seems to consider her too fragile, or not capable of making her own decisions. They want to protect her and coddle her, don’t believe she should be taking any risks. They are supportive emotionally, but want to limit her physically. They care about her, but don’t truly trust her judgement or want her to be making her own choices.

With Lotor though, it’s different. He truly sees her as an equal, respects her judgement in her areas of expertise. This plot line revolving around the entity is a prime example. Lotor provides Allura with the information, that she has everything she needs to take down Honerva right in front of her; she just needs to utilize it. But from the moment Allura wakes the people closest to her doubt her decisions and choices.

And yes, those choices lead to painful consequences, but in the end they are proven to be the right ones, to have been necessary. Allura took a calculated risk, and it pays off - if she hadn’t they’d have never caught Honerva in time to stop her from destroying everything. They wouldn’t even have discovered her plan in the first place.

If Allura hadn’t made the choice to listen to and trust Lotor, by her own judgement, reality itself would have ceased to exist.

Both Coran and Alfor are given specific scenes this season where they judge and approve of Lance in his pursuit of Allura. But key, neither of them ever ask - or even mention - Allura’s feelings on the matter. The s8 we got, rather disgustingly, portrays this as the right thing. I believe the original s8 was meant to subvert this. Because Lance is everyone else’s choice for Allura, but when Allura was allowed to make her own choice? She chose Lotor.

Allura once again ends s8e10 ‘Knights of Light: Part 2′ unconscious. I firmly believe we are missing more moments  - if not an entire episode - with Lotor here, in s8e11 ‘Uncharted Regions’ - probably explaining somewhere along the way how exactly he is able to contact her in this manner.

Which, uh... as to my personal theory on how that is, well... what did Lotor and Allura do together that might have crafted a unique spiritual bond between them?

What did you two experience in the quintessence field Lotor?

But, those were happier times...

I also think this is the episode, this missing one, that that particular image properly belongs to. We now see it in the previous episode, as one of Honerva’s memories. But the reason we see it is that the paladins apparently see it too. The only problem is, they don’t react to it at all. They literally have a stronger reaction to finding out they can see Honerva’s memories in the first place. There’s no possible way that Allura saw the melted corpse of the man she loved and had no discernible reaction. We see her reactions to Lotor’s presence multiple times over the course of s7 and s8, and they’re always intensely emotional ones.

But speaking of that image, since we’re on the topic. That’s a very detailed image.

There’s details there you don’t immediately spot, because you’re too distracted by the horrific imagery of the corpse of a main character. A character who’s tragic, abusive childhood was the focus of almost an entire episode earlier in the season.

Details such as the motes of light floating up from his body.

Motes of light we’ve seen in exactly two instances before: from Zarkon and Honerva’s eyes immediately after they were restored back to life by the rift.

And from Zarkon’s body: vanishing after he died.

Yeah guys, I’m about to make that image much worse.

That’s not Lotor’s corpse, because he’s not dead.

He’s still in there, in that state, and he’s been in there for over three years.

Melded, physically and mentally, with Sincline by his time spent in the quintessence field.

What. The. Fuck.

As the season progresses it becomes much more difficult to tell what was supposed to be happening because of how badly it’s been chopped up, re-arranged, and edited.

But there is a very distinct difference between Sincline’s two appearances in action - that is, it’s only in the first one that it actually is in action.

The last time we see Sincline move of it’s own accord is e6 ‘Genesis’. From the moment he reappears Lotor is on the attack; he is stopped only two times, once of his own accord and once by Haggar’s mind control.

And that one time he stops himself? Is when he takes aim at Allura. She’s running across the ground, about to strike Honerva with her bayard, when he raises his right arm and takes aim. We see her in his sights, through his eyes. And the view zooms in on Allura’s face.

Lance sees what’s happening and dives in Red to stop him, but is blocked by one of the white mechs.

Yet. He lowers his arm and doesn’t take the shot.

Lotor never fires.

But immediately afterwards the white mech lingers too close and Sincline impales it with it’s tail. It’s not an aversion to killing that stayed his hand.

It’s that it was Allura.

This scene unambiguously shows that Lotor is both alive inside that mech and somewhat aware of himself. He’s become a robeast.

Yet after that episode the mech never moves again. It hangs lifeless in space during the battle at the pyramid; the white mechs having to do the fighting. The lights on it’s chest have gone out, only relighting when it is charged with quintessence from the Komar. For all intents and purposes, Sincline is empty.

Oh, and speaking of Sincline, up until s8e9 it’s only ever referred to as “Lotor’s mech,” but suddenly, in e11 ‘Uncharted Regions’ they’ve learned its name and Allura calls it “Lotor’s Sincline”.

I think that at some point between ‘Knights of Light’ and the second half of e11 ‘Uncharted Regions’ Lotor was to have been rescued. 'Uncharted Regions’ is one of the worst episodes this season for flow: it’s extremely choppy and hard to follow - flicking back and forth between scenes without anything really happening in them.

But the most telling thing?

‘Uncharted Regions’ begins with Honerva in her haloed mech searching Alternate realities for her ‘perfect’ one. We see several clips of her doing this, the mech floating in front of the pyramid, alone, with the spinning disk of its wings as a viewport.

Suddenly, almost exactly halfway through the episode, we get an image of Honerva kneeling inside the pyramid, in her Altean commander uniform, one uniformed Altean to either side. She says “The princess has awakened,” and then the scene changes.

When next we see Honerva she’s floating above the pyramid, the silent and immobile Sincline by her side.

The entire time this is happening there is combat going on around the pyramid, first with the coalition fighters and then with the Atlas itself. This sequence appears in episode as though it all happens successively in a very short period of time. But it doesn’t make sense like that. Why should Honerva stop what she’s doing, and exit her mech just to check if Allura is awake?

In this scenario why does Honerva even care if Allura is awake? By this point she’s apparently found her perfect reality and is prepared to move on to it? She doesn’t need Allura for anything, none of her plans require Allura. Why should she even bother to announce that Allura is awake, as though this is something she’s been waiting for?

This entire episode, including the fight scenes, has been chopped into little pieces and rearranged. Other scenes have had edits to their animation, or were re-done entirely. What we have in ‘Uncharted Regions’ is a frankenstein’s monster of an episode constructed of the tiny remnants of of at least two, possibly three, original episodes.

If you watch this episode carefully you’ll notice that there’s a clip out of order. The lights on Sincline’s chest are dark until it’s charged with the quintessence from the Alteans on the Atlas. But. The close up shot of Sincline the paladins see immediately upon exiting the wormhole in front of the pyramid has the lights lit up. This clip clearly is part of the sequence we see later in the episode just before the mechs combine. So when the crew on the bridge of the Atlas is shown reacting in horror, whatever they’re actually reacting to has been cut out.

These original missing episodes would have contained what I’m fairly certain was our big Alchemist vs Alchemist reprisal fight between Honerva and Allura; something we’ve been waiting for since season 2′s finale.

Why was such an anticipated fight removed?

I think it’s because the fight was over Lotor, and ultimately Allura would have rescued him.

Every time Allura uses the powers she obtained in Oriande it’s mentioned where she got them, and often that she has them because of Lotor.

She’s shown again and again restoring life and health.

What happened, what we’re missing, is her using the abilities she has thanks to Lotor, to save him.

Allura is supposed to storm that pyramid, infiltrate it, and rescue Lotor from the evil witch holding him captive. She’s supposed to find him in that horrible state we saw him in, and she’s going to heal him. She’s going to fight for him, to protect him, when no one else in his life ever has.

There’s also a clear switch. When Sincline is active and alight Honerva several times refers to it as ‘my son’ but afterwards, she stops and uses Sincline as a tool for her to reach an Alternate Reality and obtain a ‘new’ version of Lotor. With the exception of one shot, where, since we can’t actually see her speaking it seems that the audio and animation are sourced from different original scenes, Honerva ceases treating Sincline as Lotor after the lights go out.

The line that causes Honerva to snap s8e12 ‘The Zenith’ is when the little alt Lotor says “My mother is dead”. It’s framed like a deliberate callback, like it should be echoing something. But it’s a line we’ve never heard. I’d hazard that this final rejection, this line was spoken by *our* Lotor as Allura is rescuing him.

Lotor was not dead in there, he was alive, and he was saved.

There is a really good theory going around, my friend @tsunemori told me about it. I don't know who first came up with it, but I fully support it, because I noticed the scene in question was really off too.

But the theory is that that hospital bed scene? Was originally Lotor in the bed after they rescued him, and Allura was in Lance's place. Which makes total sense, because after that scene, when Lance takes Allura to the bridge? His height is all wrong, and he is hanging onto her for support instead of the other way around: it should be Lotor there.

Do I have any concrete proof of this one? No. But there is something off about that scene. It just doesn’t feel right.

So yeah, if I ask myself, “Is this a scene that might have been re-animated, the characters traced over and re-drawn as different ones?” I can absolutely see that. When looking for places where actual edits to the animation have been made you have to factor in several things: the complexity of the animation - how many characters, how many settings, how much movement, who is the focus/moving/talking.

This is both a pivotal scene, and an incredibly easy one to alter, comparatively. Two characters, one laying still in a bed and only getting a single one-syllable line - the other character’s name, which might have been taken from anywhere. Lance has a long string of dialogue, but he’s sitting beside the bed the entire time, and he moves very little.

I strongly believe this scene was either altered significantly or created whole-cloth for this edited version of s8.

Things that are much harder to alter, because they’d be much more expensive, are the fight scenes. It’s where I started looking once I suspected what had happened with season 8, and it’s where I started finding things.

S8e12 ‘The Zenith’ is one of the best episodes in terms of flow, and I believe that’s because it suffers some of the least editing.

We are however missing at least two scenes: a farewell between Allura and Coran - presumably as Allura boards the Blue Lion - and an explanation as to how Voltron followed Honerva into her destination reality after the rift closed on them. I believe both of these scenes were edited out because Lotor was key in them; several scenes in the following episode s8e13 ‘The End is the Beginning’ lead me to believe that he spent the final battle in the Blue Lion with Allura.

Two scenes during the fight stand out to me: the first, a split screen where Keith is mysteriously given a double width section as compared to the others. It’s especially noticeable, because he’s not even centrally placed and he’s scaled to a different size than his fellow paladins. In the entirety of the series we have never before seen a split screen cut among an even number of characters where one of them is given odd prominence like this. The screen is arranged so the characters appear in a color gradient, Keith is red-black and immediately to his left is Allura who is blue. If there was a missing section here, the color space would correspond to indigo/purple - and those are Lotor’s colors.

The second is a moment when Allura is speaking facing forwards and very clearly looks to the side and makes eye contact with someone. Now, VLD does have moments when the paladins will react in their own lions as though they can see each other, but this isn’t like that. It’s the way her eyes move, and look, she’s talking to someone who’s point of view we’re seeing her from. And that person is Lotor.

There’s also a peculiar moment in this episode where the same split screen is used twice; another thing which has never before happened in the series. It appears first about a quarter of the way through the episode as the paladins enter the stage for the final showdown and then again as they push Honerva into the glowing whiteness at its center. I believe that the second one of these is its proper place, and that the one that originally went in the first instance had Lotor included in it.

Finally, and this is going to take several images, so be warned. When the paladins appear before Honerva in the heart of it all, fading into view, they’re spaced very strangely.

There’s six of them, so you’d expect they’d be spaced something like this:

But they’re actually spaced like this:

(yes, I know Honerva would be blocking someone there. She moves. I just picked this cap so you could see all the shadows; there’s no point showing you the empty space)

It rather looks like there’s someone missing.

The last half of the final episode is so heavily manipulated that it’s difficult to say what actually happened. But we have two very strong clues from which we can reconstruct it.

Remember the leaks?

Now that we know the leaks were real, it begs the question, why was this scene one of them. Unlike the others, which were all from the epilogue, this scene is from roughly halfway through the episode.

Well, I believe we have the answer now: whoever leaked them chose those because they were the scenes they had on hand. These were the scenes that were not originally part of VLD s8, and were added only in the last minute edit.

This one in particular is another where I think it’s taken an actual scene and traced over it to make it into something else. Lance is far too tall here, and doesn’t look like himself hardly at all.

It’s also very clear from the framing of the shot where Allura is going down the line of paladins and hugging them that Lance should be getting a send off in sequence to the others, not apart like this.

No, I think Lance was animated over Lotor here, and the audio was spliced in parts from Lance’s actual goodbye scene and Allura’s “I will always love you” comes from somewhere else. That portion of the line is said in a distinctly different tone of voice than Lance’s name beforehand. There’s different emotions to it than the rest of their conversation, and I’d guarantee we’re hearing it out of it’s original context.

I don’t know what else changes in the ending, but I’m very certain that it was not supposed to be read as Allura dying.

The reason we now read it that way is that Allura and Honerva are seen greeting the spirits of people we know that are dead. I’m fairly certain this scene is either new, or it was only Honerva going to meet them, and of course, that Lotor wasn’t among them.

And I think it was Allura and Lotor who stayed behind to do the work of restoring all realities. My proof of this is one of the very best and strongest among my evidence: the very last closing shot of Voltron: Legendary Defender, after the credits.

The lions of Voltron take off to rejoin their new Cosmic Entities; Allura and Lotor. Whoever was responsible for editing Lotor out of this picture only actually slightly blurred him.

Thanks to @articianne for the outline!

If you play around with the image contrast and brightness it’s even more obvious that the both of them are there, back to back.

It only looks like Allura dies because the spirits but without them there? It looks like they ascended to a higher plane of existence or something.

They haven’t died at all. They’ve become, of all things, like Bob, the gameshow host from s7e4 ‘The Feud’. An ‘all-powerful, all-knowing interdimensional being’.

And y’know? Bob was perfectly able to interact with the paladins no problem.

I don’t understand why these changes were made. To me? This looks like a perfectly happy ending.

What else was cut I don’t know. But I found all this evidence by looking for the things that weren’t there, that a competently structured plot would lead me to expect would be. Chasing ghosts, as it were.

A short list of additional things I strongly suspect were cut?

Several scenes between Keith and Shiro.

A pivotal scene between Allura and Coran.

A follow up event with Pidge referencing her sacrificing her videogame to get Allura a dress.

A scene between Lance and Pidge, possibly referencing said videogame.

A resolution to Lance and Pidge competing to get Allura the best present.

A conclusion to Axca’s sub plot.

A Hunk and Shay scene, to explain how and why the Balmeras all show up in s8e12 ‘The Zenith’.

An additional scene with the blade for the same reasons.

Actually, y’know what? I’m not just going to leave this, because I have a strong suspicion what one of the other cut subplots was about.

You see, the other half of ‘Clear Day’ isn’t entirely filler - it’s specifically a callback to the season 2 episode ‘Space Mall’, and it’s not the only one in this season. The little shopping trip from s8e1 ‘Launch Date’ is also one. Specifically they’re part of a plot for Pidge about her feelings for Lance.

In ‘Space Mall’ Pidge and Lance spend their time scrounging up change to buy a videogame console. The game that they purchase is part of a series that Pidge later trades the only copy of the latest version of to get Allura a dress. During ‘Clear Day’ Pidge and Lance both spend their time trying to get the best present for Allura (hint hint, Pidge is the one who actually got the ‘”something sparkly”).

Now, as I’ve already covered, there’s missing content between ‘Clear Day’ and the next episode. Part of that content should have been what the other paladins were doing while Allura was unconscious. And in series, we never actually see Allura receive either of those presents that were bought for her. So where did they go?

I think Pidge and Lance spent the time waiting for Allura to wake up together, and they got to talking about how Lance has once again failed to acquire the sparkly thing Allura would like. Perhaps Pidge trades her mining helmet for Lance’s signed Blue Lion, and then it comes up how both times Lance went to get a present for Allura he ended up getting one for Pidge.

And that first time was the video game wasn’t it? A perfect place for Lance to find out what happened with the video game in s8e1.

So why did Pidge trade that game? To make Allura happy, yes, but also to make Lance happy. Because Lance likes Allura and Pidge wants them to have a good time, because Pidge likes Lance. Like, check e1 when Allura tells her she's going on a date with Lance, Pidge's reaction... isn't really a happy one.

I think this should have been the turning point for Lance, where he learns the difference between infatuation and sincere affection. I think very soon after this his relationship with Allura would end, and he would naturally progress into a different sort of relationship with Pidge.

As much as I love s8e7 ‘Day Forty-Seven’ I don’t think it was originally part of season 8. I also get the feeling that s7e2 ‘Shadows’ may be composed of scenes we were supposed to have gotten throughout the later half of season seven - though I expect that this change was made in a much earlier spate of edits, likely when s7 was re-done. It’s been confirmed that this happened, and that s7e4 ‘The Feud’ was made to ease the pressure on the exhausted animators who’d been working overtime to get the other episodes done in time. It’s never been confirmed what exactly was changed about season 7 or why, but I highly suspect it was to include more content with the MFE fighters, who the higher ups at Dreamworks might have been hoping to spin off into a sequel.

I suspect that the episodes were shifted forwards, because the first half of the season has no 'event' episode. s8e6 ‘Genesis’ should have been that, and what we're missing is the mid-season event. Which was where they would have saved Lotor. They excised an entire climactic fight between Allura and Honerva, reprising their battle from season 2. The alchemist vs alchemist fight that was repeatedly alluded to being inevitable, yet we never got.

It was animated and voiced to be Lotura and Lotor's vindication.

But someone wanted that changed.

We know when and why ‘The Feud’ was created, and because we were teased in several interviews to pay attention to it so that we might spot some foreshadowing, we can definitively say that the mucking around that was done to season 8 happened at a much later date.

In fact, the animation portion was likely completed all the way back in June. These are two bumper images that were used to advertise Season 6, which released on June 15th.

We haven’t yet seen this image of Lotor appear in the show (for what it matters, the full color one is the correct way around; Lotor’s hair always curls up over his right shoulder, the left can go either way), we have scoured every frame of him to find it, but it’s just not there (yes I know it looks like it should be from s5e4 ‘Kral Zera’, but trust me it’s not). Every other image that’s ever been used in these promotional bumpers has been from somewhere in the show, but this one is so far absent. Therefore it’s from a piece of animation yet to appear, and one which was made by the time these images showed up in June.

Now that we know what the truth is, I am sure we will get the full story eventually. It's only a matter of time before it filters out.

But right now is the key time if we want to convince Dreamworks to release the original season 8. Tweet at them, email them, snail mail if you have the time! Sign that petition!

The fandom response now will determine if we find out what really happened sooner rather than later - and later could mean years.

We are the only people who can make this happen. The cast and crew are all bound by NDAs, and publicly reacting negatively towards a show you worked on is practically career suicide.

It has historically been fans who’ve made a difference when companies interfere with their favorite shows. Fans have been able to effect change in the past, and they will again in the future; lets make sure this is one of those times. We need to fight to get the VLD we should have gotten in the first place.

Just remember to apply your energies in the right places. JDS and LM aren’t perfect people (no one is!), but this isn’t their doing. This is someone above them responsible for the mess that was s8. Dreamworks Animation is the culprit. There is a very real chance that the original season 8 is completely finished and able to be released, and we just might get it if we’re persistent enough. 

Be polite, be reasonable, but be firm. Take this proof and use it. Show them that we know they changed things and that they can give us the original if they so choose.

The messages they inadvertently pushed with this slap-dash edit are vile and toxic, and people far more knowledgeable than I in those areas are speaking out about them. This needs to be fixed.

They need to say something. They need to tell us why they changed it. They need to give us the original Season 8.

Click here for Part 2: Seek Truth in Darkness

I, and any of you who enjoyed this meta, owe @nomadicism a huge thank you. She reminded me of that strange "Follow me!" scene, which prompted me to crack open 'Clear Day' for another watch... and I realized that Allura's dreams weren't nonsensical at all.

As always, thank you to my many friends in the Lotura Discord. You give me the strength and encouragement to keep going. I couldn’t have done this without you.

[tracingdreams]

“Zettai Nakasu” (I’ll definitely make them cry) - Translation: Part I

Miyuki/Kuramochi Unofficial Fanbook (Doujin) (2015 PIXIV/Kinakorondo)

As mentioned previously, this is a super cute doujin and as requested I am translating it (in parts) in text form :D

Disclaimer: Translation and thus all errors are my own. I do not have the capacity to scan the pages without damaging the book. I will include occasional images where I can get them to work, but this is a text translation.

This doujin translation and content is safe for work.

It is chiefly Kuramochi Miyuki but it is a shade bittersweet and also includes hints of Kuramochi Ryousuke, Miyuki-Chris and even maybe Chris-Sawamura vibes in it. 

Part I

Miyuki stands in the hallway of the school, looking awkward. A girl stands in front of him. She is crying. It seems like she has confessed to him, and he has rejected her. At the sight of her tears, he is troubled. “Ah. This is a problem.” He thinks.

The scene flips back in time to when Miyuki was at the Edogawa Dragons. The coach is reading out the team list for the next game.

“ Right, I’m going to announce the start list for the next game,” he says. “Catcher – Miyuki.”

Miyuki is really excited. The other kids turn and stare at him.

As he is walking home, humming to himself, they call him back, “Hey, Miyuki!”

There is the off-panel sound of him being hit, and then Miyuki is on the ground, glasses on the floor, a bruised cheek and his eyes closed. One of his peers looks anxiously on.

“You…If you weren’t there, then I’d be the catcher!” claims the senpai.

Miyuki’s eyes snap open at this.

“If it makes you feel better to hit me, then do so,” he says. The senpai is thrown off guard by this, looking dismayed. Miyuki wipes his face, then continues,

“But please make sure it’s not of a level enough to stop me from playing in the game. I’ll show you that I’m going to win the next game.”

Miyuki’s home, now. There’s a woman walking up the path to a house with a carrier bag. She knows Miyuki but I am not sure she’s his mother. She calls out to him.

“Kazuya-kun, welcome home!”

“I’m back!”

“What happened? You’re all injured!”

“I fell!” is Miyuki’s immediate reply.

The next day, at the practice ground, the senpai are talking.

“Is it okay, letting him be now?” one of them asks. The other, the antagonist in the earlier confrontation replies,

“Ah…mm. Yeah. Well, he didn’t cry even a little bit. It was boring. He seems completely unaffected by it. It’s kind of scary.”

There is a particular focus drawn here to the number ‘2’

***

For some reason, I’ve always had problems getting along with people.

Miyuki remembers an encounter with a girl at middle school, and she calls his name, asking if he wants to walk home with her. He looks at her, confused, then asks,

“Why? No thanks. More to the point, who are you, even? Didn’t you get the wrong person?”

The girl looks thunderstruck. There’s the sound of her slapping him.

At the game, later, a teammate notices the slap mark on his face and asks if he is all right. Miyuki agrees that he is.

It’s not entirely a bad thing. I just need to learn how to turn it into a weapon.

There is the sound of a bat hitting a ball far over the fence, then Miyuki, sitting on the bench in his Edogawa uniform after the game. He looks content.

“He rushed the contest and threw a soft ball. Lucky me!” he reflects to himself.

Baseball is so much fun that those strong emotions make me lose control of myself.

His cheek is bruised. It looks like he wipes his face, maybe his eyes. Perhaps those specks that fall around him are tears, but it’s not clearly shown for sure.

He reflects on other encounters with his peers. “Kazuya! Let’s go play soccer!” asks one. Miyuki looks unmoved. “But I’d rather play baseball,” he replies. “Why don’t you come to the amusement park with me sometime?” Asks a girl with her hair in bunches. Miyuki looks at her blankly, and refuses, saying, “I have baseball practice.”

It’s a school parent-teacher meeting, and Toku has been called in to talk to his teacher about his progress. The teacher leans across the desk.

“He’s a good lad, and capable of clearly stating his opinions,” he says frankly, “but he needs to take more interest in the other children.”

As he and his father walk home, Miyuki trotting behind Toku, there is silence. Then, Toku breaks the quiet.

“Baseball,” he states, and Miyuki looks up at him, surprised.

“Is it fun?” Toku asks. Miyuki smiles.

“Yes.” He says warmly. Toku replies,

“Then it’s fine.”

Dad and I, just the two of us. Anything I can do on my own, I am able to do just fine. I can cook, and go shopping, and do the cleaning, and the laundry. If you get used to it, it stops being a burden on you.

Someone’s hand is on his head – it’s not clear whose. Maybe it’s Toku’s. Miyuki’s big eyes look up at them, as they say, rather condescendingly,

“Kazuya-kun, you’re very impressive, able to do all these things.”

Because of that, perhaps, I’m allowed to go put my all into my baseball playing. Maybe I put all my feelings of loneliness into it, or played out the part of me that felt like I was lacking in freedom. Even though I never thought that way about it. I didn’t feel I could do baseball and give nothing in return. I’m trying to play it too cool…but I never complained about it.

It’s night, and Miyuki, in his pyjamas, walks along the hallway. He sees the door is a little open.

He never showed me any weaknesses either.

Glancing through he sees Toku, looking at the photo of him, his wife and his son. Standing in shadow, Miyuki observes his father, the only light coming from the room beyond. Toku has no idea he is there.

Love. Affection. I still don’t really understand those.

The timeline returns back to Seidou, and the girl who has confessed to him in the hallway.

“Well,” she says awkwardly, “will you at least shake my hand?”

Miyuki is confused, but he shakes her hand anyway.

I don’t want to think about anything that’s pointless.

***

It’s raining, and Miyuki’s in the second year classroom at Seidou. It’s autumn, pushing towards winter now. There’s a commotion coming from outside. It’s Sawamura. He’s got his hands pressed up against the window and he’s yelling. “What is this?! I hate rain! Today I felt like taking the tire and going for a run, since I haven’t done it in ages!”

Kanemaru is trying to get him under some kind of control.

“Stop yelling in the corridor! You’re embarrassing!” he protests.

Miyuki is watching from the end of the hall. His hand goes to his mouth and he stifles a snigger.

“He’s even noisy outside of practice,” he observes.

Some of the surrounding girls are whispering together about the disturbance.

“Ah,” says one, “I know that kid. He’s part of the baseball club. His name is Sawamura-kun.”

“Is he famous?” asks another.

“He was apparently awesome during the autumn tournament,” comes the reply.

“Ah, I wanted to see that! We won, didn’t we?”

“Yes! We did!”

Miyuki watches their conversation, but does not try to take part. The conversation then turns to him.

“The catcher, Miyuki-kun, was injured.”

“Yes.”

“He broke a bone or something in the previous game, apparently.”

“Really?”

“But he still played the whole game to the end. And, on top of that, he scored a run.”

“That’s pretty incredible.”

“It’s amazing, yeah, but maybe they just couldn’t swap him out.”

“Hrm, I wonder…”

“It was the final, after all. Maybe they didn’t have anyone who could replace him at the same skill level.”

“He’s the captain and the fourth batter. Maybe it was for the sake of the team.”

No.

Miyuki’s arms fold across his chest. His face is not visible, and he is surrounded by darkness.

It wasn’t that at all.

His hand goes to his side, twitching at it. Suddenly, Mei’s voice is echoing in his head.

“Kazuya”, says this hallucination of Mei. “It’s what I told you, isn’t it? Are you regretting it? Even now, do you want to come across to join us?”

Miyuki responds to him,

“I’ve never thought that, not even once. Not once that this team is weak…”

I made the choice myself. Which hand to choose.

His hand stretches out. Two other hands reach out towards his. There’s a figure, silhouetted in the light. Miyuki, his face like a child’s, stares after him. The figure comes into more focus. He’s wearing catching protectors. There’s a number 2 on his back.

The person turns, and Chris’ features come into view. He’s smiling. Smiling, but the light is getting brighter. It eclipses Chris’s body, till all that remains are his feet. Then there is nothing, and Miyuki stares, looking lost.

“Miyuki,” Someone calls his name. It is almost certainly not Chris.

They hold out their hand to him. Their sleeves are dark, maybe the uniform of Seidou’s team.

Which hand, more attractive than the rest…

This hand…

The hand slaps across his, and he jolts with surprise.

Someone is flicking at his forehead. His eyes shoot open in astonishment. He clutches his forehead, as someone calls his name again.

“How many times do you think I’ve called you?!” It’s Kuramochi. He looks pissed, and Miyuki stares at him blankly. “Next class we have to move rooms! Hurry up and wake up!”

“Hey, can’t you do that a bit more gently?” Miyuki protests.

“You didn’t wake up, so what else am I meant to do?” Kuramochi is unrepentant. “Just think that it’s better than me punching you.”

“Hahaha,” Miyuki laughs at this. “Sorry about that.”

Kuramochi eyes him carefully.

“Miyuki…you…did you have some kind of nice dream or something? Stop grinning like an idiot!”

Miyuki is indeed smiling broadly, his hand touching his bruised brow. There is a blush to his cheeks.

Kuramochi tsks, and tells him,

“I’m going now, anyway. Today, I have to organise giving the papers out or something, apparently.”

He leaves, Miyuki calls behind him.

“Wait up, Kuramochi!”

As they head down the hallway, Miyuki glances out of the window. The sun is shining. He smiles.

“Ah,” he says. “It’s brightened up.”

To be continued...

[butterflyinthewell]

LEGACY OF GOJIRA

My headcanon for the Heisei era timeline pre- and post-Godzilla vs King Ghidorah, and where my stuff fits in.

***

Blacklist “long post” if you don’t want this hogging up your dash. Tumblr mobile doesn’t have an option to use cuts and I just discovered desktop doesn’t let you edit posts created in mobile to insert a cut. Do not leave comments on this post complaining that it’s long or whatever, I already know that and tagged for it.

***

Now, some terminology to avoid confusion.

I will use Gojira when I’m speaking about the creature who appeared in 1954. He is the father of Godzilla.

And I will say Godzilla when speaking about the creature who appeared in 1984 onward. He is Gojira’s son. (His look changes movie to movie a bit, but in canon he has always looked however he looks in that given movie, with the exception of burning Godzilla, jsyk.)

Pre-Futurians:

A young adult godzillasaur charges into a battle between American and Japanese soldiers on Lagos island. It’s WW2. He chases the Americans away, but is wounded in the process and collapses on the forest floor. Shindo and his Japanese troops thank him, apologize for not being able to carry him and leave.

An elderly godzillasaur comes onshore with a whale in his mouth and finds his wounded son. He runs to the younger dinosaur’s side, manages to get him to eat the whale meat and tries to lick his wounds clean. Days go by. Infection sets in and becomes sepsis. The younger godzillasaur is definitely dying.

Then a morning arrives where a blinding flash goes off in the sky. Both dinosaurs have the scales melted off their bodies and they are soon covered in fallout ash. The younger dinosaur convulses and screams in pain. The older one holds his hand and conceals his agony behind a stoic visage. He stays by his son’s side until they both black out from the pain.

Gojira awakens weeks later aware that he is different. He looks to his son, who is breathing and unresponsive. Godzilla only moves to writhe, convulse and shriek in pain. Unimaginable anguish fills Gojira because this bright light made him and his only child suffer.

Weeks pass. He waits for his son to open his eyes and tells him to stay on the island. Godzilla always listens when told to stay somewhere. He is too sick and weak to move anyway. Gojira tells Godzilla he loves him and heads out to sea.

Fall arrives. It’s November 3, 1954, and Gojira crashes across Odo island. When he pops his head over the hill, he is telling the humans he will destroy them. He heads into Tokyo not long after. His rampage is an act of pure, spiteful revenge. Days later, he is killed by the Oxygen Destroyer. As he dies, he curses at the humans for the suffering they caused him.

Godzilla spends more time exposed to the radioactive fallout, so he grows a bit larger than his father although not by much. He wanders around Lagos island until the chill of winter arrives. He spends days calling for his father, but gets no answer. So he finally swims out to sea and spends the next several decades alternating between hibernating and absorbing radioactive waste in and around the island.

Finally, he had consumed all the radiation nearby and has to venture out to find more. He also hoped to find his father. So, in December of 1984, Godzilla made his presence known by attacking submarines, a nuclear power plant and finally coming ashore.

(My inserted headcanon) A young 13 year old Miki Saegusa was in the train car Godzilla picked up and dropped. She was the only survivor because her parents shielded her with their bodies.

Steven Martin was correct when he said Godzilla was looking for something. Unfortunately, what Godzilla sought could never be found because his dad is dead. Only Miki knows who he’s looking for.

The situation escalated, ultimately ending with the Super X destroyed and Godzilla plunging into Mt Mihara.

Godzilla was released from the volcano in 1989. He encounters Miki again, gets infected with the anti-nuclear energy bacteria and battles Biollante. After defeating her, he heads out to sea where he proceeds to be ravaged by the ANEB.

Enter the Futurians... Miki Saegusa is among the people from the 90s to go back in time...and here comes the fun part.

🌀🌀🌀🌀

Post-Futurians:

Godzilla is teleported off Lagos island and into the Bering sea at a randomly chosen time (1970s), where he lands on a bunch of nuclear waste and undergoes his painful mutation utterly alone. It’s more violent because the nuclear waste is more concentrated and toxic.

(My inserted headcanon) Miki returns to the present with the others. She feels a weird fracture in her memory, as if aspects of her past happened twice, but she doesn’t tell anyone because it’s too confusing to explain.

Behind her, history is repairing itself...

Gojira comes ashore on Lagos and can’t find his son. The nuclear bomb test happens as planned (which also created King Ghidorah from the abandoned Dorats, but it took a long time for him to grow up to size), and Gojira suffered through his mutation alone, too.

But he no longer had a reason to wait around, so he left the island as soon as he was strong enough to move without screaming in pain. He crosses Odo island and makes landfall in Japan in August instead of November.

When he pops his head over the hill, he is asking the humans if they saw his son or know where he is. They don’t understand, so he gets pissed and trashes Tokyo. He is killed by the Oxygen Destroyer. As he dies, he calls out for his son.

Far away in another time in the Bering sea, Godzilla wanders between unconsciousness and seizures and misery because his surroundings are so toxic. When the mutation process is complete, he is twice the size of his father. He wanders the seafloor, absorbing stray radioactive waste between long stretches of sleep.

The events of 1984 and 1989 play out the same, but people remember Godzilla as being 100 meters tall (328 feet).

(My inserted headcanon) Miki’s younger 1984 self is picked up in the train car as before, but now she senses Godzilla recognizing her and being confused as to why. He shows her images of herself as an adult in a jungle. Her 1989 encounter with him on the helipad dredges up the same confusion.

She lives her life up to the Futurians again, which closes the loop, and now she understands what happened and why she feels like she has lived her life up to that point twice. Past Miki and present Miki are now one and her feeling of fracture goes away.

Shindo sends a sub out to recreate Godzilla to fight King Ghidorah, but he doesn’t know Godzilla already exists until it’s too late.

Godzilla is gravely sick with the ANEB, but Shindo’s nuclear submarine powers him up enough to overcome the illness. He comes ashore in Japan and takes down King Ghidorah and kills the malicious Futurians who created King Ghidorah.

In typical Godzilla fashion, he goes stomping into Tokyo. He encounters Shindo in one of the skyscrapers he is about to knock down. Shindo, the man Godzilla sees as the person who deserted him to suffer through his mutation. He kills Shindo with his breath and comes face to face with Mecha-King Ghidorah. The battle ends with Mecha-King Ghidorah destroyed and Godzilla is plunged back into the sea.

Time has been rewritten, but Godzilla’s existence is a fixed point and cannot be overwritten. No matter what anyone does in the past, the universe will ensure Godzilla exists.

Shezilla happens in 1994 (movie year with inserted headcanon), a year after Godzilla battles Mothra and Battra.

Time splits 2 ways from the moment of her conception in a Petri dish. If the Doctor was flying the TARDIS through here, they will see a timeline split here, and the future they see depends on which branch in the timeline they follow after Shezilla enters the picture.

🌀🌀🌀🌀

BRANCH 1– ‘Canon’ timeline: Shezilla’s mutation overtakes her due to an underdeveloped nuclear gland. She dies. She and Godzilla had conceived a baby, but Shezilla was too sick to survive having it.

Godzilla takes her body to Challenger Deep because he doesn’t want predators to eat her. It’s a massive scientific loss, but there was no way to tend to her body with him hovering around.

He still thinks she will wake up because his heart stops and starts a lot due to his heart defect, and he doesn’t realize it’s an abnormality. Over the next month he tries feeding Shezilla from his own radioactive stores. Shezilla has what is essentially a coffin birth since Godzilla’s radiation was feeding the embryo instead of Shezilla. But the egg can’t survive the intense pressures and it is crushed instantly. Godzilla is totally crestfallen. He nuzzles Shezilla’s nose and the flesh sloughs off. She is decomposing.

Now Godzilla accepts that his mate and their baby are gone to the Stars. He leaves the seafloor in a state of mourning.

The Shrinking Project happens that same day. The man behind it has a vendetta against Gojira, so he’s taking it out on Godzilla.

Shezilla’s spirit possesses Miki Saegusa and tells her Godzilla must live. He has work to do. It takes time for her and Miki to understand each other, but once they do they work together to ensure Godzilla stays alive.

The same group of people behind the Shezilla project rescue Godzilla from the nasty person who only wants to torture him.

Godzilla isn’t doing well while tiny. He begins showing all the signs of acute heart failure. The Shezilla team figures out how to keep him alive by doing something dangerous and unprecedented. They patch the hole in his heart and ablate the underdeveloped nerve bundles that cause his arrhythmias, and he slowly returns to his normal size in short bursts after the shrink ray wears off. A confrontation between him and the nasty vendetta guy happens while he’s man-sized, and it doesn’t go well for vendetta guy.

Shezilla’s spirit can finally rest, so she departs into eternity after a moving goodbye to her mate.

History carries on through BabyGodzilla being found, Mechagodzilla, Fire Rodan, SpaceGodzilla and Destroyah.

BabyGodzilla grows up into LittleGodzilla and then Junior. Godzilla raises the little one as his own. He tells him all the stories his own father told him and imparts the knowledge of his kind’s history. Everything Gojira told Godzilla becomes known to Junior.

After battling Destroyah, Godzilla dies of a nuclear meltdown and his soul ascends to the Stars where Shezilla and a daughter are waiting. All that is left of his physical presence is a lump of corium.

Junior finishes his mutation into an adult godzillasaur. He takes the corium out to sea and lays it in next to Shezilla’s skeleton in Challenger Deep and grieves over them both for a long while.

Then he has to feed again, so he ascends to the surface and takes down an aircraft carrier transporting nukes. From that day on, Junior carries the legacy of Gojira alone.

🌀🌀🌀🌀

BRANCH 2– ‘Survival’ timeline: Shezilla gets very weak and sick because of an underdeveloped nuclear gland, but Godzilla is able to feed her massive, concentrated doses of radiation that allow the gland to achieve critical mass and keep her alive.

A small island becomes a dumping ground for radioactive waste, so the Godzilla family is more apt to go there. Their rampages into cities become extremely rare. Humanity is slowly learning to coexist with kaiju.

MechaGodzilla isn’t necessary and is never built. The metal from Mecha-King Ghidorah is used instead to reverse engineer its technology into things like quantum computers, medical devices, vehicles for space travel and safer nuclear power plants. The Shrinking Project doesn’t happen either because the tech is kept under lock and key and only a few people know where.

Shezilla nests and lays an egg. She and Godzilla are awakened awhile later by the sound of cracking. The egg hatches. It’s a girl with brown eyes. A kaijuologist who speaks Latin nicknames her Filia, which is Latin for daughter.

Junior’s egg is discovered while Rodan is away, so he is taken into human custody without incident. He hatches under Azusa Gojo’s watch and will grow up into a typical unmutated godzillasaur in a safe enclosure.

SpaceGodzilla happens in (movie time) 1995. He tangles with Rodan in the upper atmosphere and sends him crashing into Pripyat, Ukraine. His body falls into the Chernobyl power plant. He appears dead. Nobody will move him until because he is laying on the damage he caused and preventing radiation from leaking out.

When SpaceGodzilla lands, it’s Filia who curiously wanders over to check him out. She gets kidnapped and imprisoned in a crystal cage. Shezilla confronts SpaceGodzilla after hearing her daughter scream for help, and he utterly insults her mate by insisting he would be a better one. She gets enraged and fights him, but he overpowers her and leaves her seriously injured. Godzilla comes ashore after hearing Shezilla’s distress calls. Unfortunately, SpaceGodzilla is already gone. Godzilla. Is. Pissed. Off.

Shezilla recovers quickly. She and Godzilla both go on a rampage towards SpaceGodzilla. It’s a violent, bloody, nasty battle. SpaceGodzilla propositions Shezilla again. This time she says yes, and she seduces him as a trick. She gets SpaceGodzilla all the way to the point of climbing on top of her...and that’s when Godzilla knocks down the tower SpaceGodzilla is using as a power source. Shezilla flashes a grin at SpaceGodzilla and point blank trashes his shoulder crystals with her atomic breath. She kicks him off her, and her and Godzilla both kill him with their atomic breath. Filia is set free and all is well.

In 1996, reports indicate the radioactivity caused by Chernobyl has dropped to safe levels, safe enough that people can move back in.

Then a fireball is tracked over Hong Kong. It’s Fire Rodan, and he is burning up from too much nuclear energy. He decimates large parts of Hong Kong with his radioactivity and the sonic booms of flying by. At the same time, Destroyah is emerging from the water in Japan and causing havoc.

Filia, now the godzillasaur equivalent of a preteen, is awakened from her sleep by a telepathic call from Miki Saegusa and another girl, Meru. They lure her in to fight Destroyah. She’s up for the challenge.

Along the way, she meets Rodan, who mistakes her as the baby taken from his island a few years ago. She has no idea what he’s talking about and figures the runaway radiation is scrambling his brain. She tells him to hang back and off she goes to take on Destroyah.

Then her parents awaken to find her gone and set out in search of her. They end up tangling with Rodan, demanding to know what he did with their daughter. Rodan leads them to where Filia and Destroyah are duking it out at Haneda airport. Seeing her parents arrive distracts her just long enough for Destroyah to stab her in the chest and inject micro-oxygen directly into her nuclear gland. Destroyah throws Filia at her parents.

Filia is mortally wounded. Godzilla tries to feed her from his own radioactivity, but it doesn’t work. She’s too young and injured.

Shezilla goes berserk when she sees her daughter hurt like that. She charges Destroyah while Godzilla tries to save Filia. Rodan rages as well even though the exertion is raising his temperature to dangerous levels. He helps Shezilla battle Destroyah.

Filia apologizes to her dad for running off and stops breathing before he can tell her it’s okay. Godzilla screams when his little girl dies. He charges into the fray with tears pouring down his face and tells Destroyah he is going to wipe him off the earth.

Destroyah manages to cleave Rodan’s chest open with his horn. Now mortally wounded himself, Rodan glides towards Filia’s body and lands on top of her. He doesn’t realize she is dead and vows to guard her. His melting body pumps a massive dose of radiation into Filia’s corpse. She starts to breathe again and opens her eyes as the flesh melts off Rodan’s face. All that is left of him is his skeleton and a cloud of radioactive ash.

Destroyah is about to overpower Godzilla and Shezilla when the radioactive ash cloud surrounds them all. The radiation seeps into Godzilla and Shezilla, filling them with power.

A spiraling red atomic beam blasts in from one side. It’s Filia. Godzilla and Shezilla turn to Destroyah, who is now triangulated between an angry godzillasaur family. All 3 unleash simultaneous spiral red beams and Destroyah is reduced to nothing.

Godzilla and Shezilla are all over Filia, loving on her and crying when asking what happened. Filia answers that Rodan saved her and turns to indicate his empty skeleton. They all share a moment of silence for their unwitting fallen ally and return to the sea, leaving Tokyo to clean up the mess.

Things are uneventfully quiet. Filia grows up into a lovely adult godzillasaur. She separates from her parents by creating a den on the north side of the island. (Her parents are on the east side).

EarthCam sets up a few webcams on the island, playfully named Monster Island, in 2009. People all over the internet can log on and see the Godzilla family go about their lives.

The peaceful times break in 2011, when a massive 9.0 earthquake strikes Japan. A tsunami follows, and the destruction and fires are more massive than anything Godzilla or his family could do in that short period of time.

The earthquake damages an enclosure where the only living dinosaur, Junior, is kept. The enclosure is large and as close as possible to his natural habitat. Azusa Gojo is dragged kicking and screaming to evacuate before the tsunami arrives. When it does, it destroys the rest of the enclosure and the dinosaur stumbles free. He’s at home with the water and staggers towards the glow of a towering fire.

It’s Fukushima, and the reactors have melted down.

Junior gets hungry. He eats plants and fish around the burning nuclear power plant. He is exposed externally and internally to the radioactivity leaking out into the air, water and soil. His presence prevents helicopters from stopping a massive explosion of radioactive steam. Junior is right in the middle of it. His outer scales are burned off. Now in pain, he staggers away and falls unconscious into the receding tsunami waves. Humanity loses sight of him and assumes he perished.

Azusa tries to pull resources to search for Junior, but all efforts are focused on recovering from the disaster. She agrees despite how it hurts and accepts that the dinosaur she raised by hand is gone from her. Miki Saegusa senses what is going on. She keeps it to herself because humanity has meddled enough with the monsters and she wants them to live in peace. She focuses her powers on detecting and locating anyone missing after the disaster.

Weeks go by. Junior awakens to somebody nudging his shoulder. He is no longer a dinosaur. The mutation manifests differently on him because of the chemicals he ingested and came in contact with. His greenish-gray pitted skin and spiky dorsal spines are quite a sight, but it’s not his reflection in the water that he’s looking at.

The first thing Junior sees is a beautiful girl with brown eyes. Filia smiles and asks him if he’s okay. It’s love at first sight.

Ancient godzillasaurs has a tradition when it came to potential mates. Her dad told her all about it and she wants to uphold it, so she takes Junior to meet her parents.

Junior meets Shezilla first. He’s nervous and charming. She likes him immediately! Then Godzilla comes out to have a look. He’s huge and imposing even though his movements are jerky and stiff.

The moment they lock eyes is a tense one.

Godzilla asks Junior if he promises to treat his daughter’s heart like the treasure that it is. Junior swears on his life that he will. Godzilla tells Junior he better be impressive when he makes his move. Again, Junior swears that he will.

Godzilla nods his approval. He takes Junior’s hand, he takes Filia’s hand and clasps them together. Filia grins up at her dad. He tells her he’s happy for her. Then Godzilla and Shezilla stand together, watching their daughter and her future mate walk off.

Junior tells Filia his story of where he was all this time, and he mentions relating to how Shezilla feels like a young outsider. Filia says not to worry about it. Her dad didn’t worry about her mom’s mysteriously absent past, so she decided not worry so much about Junior’s.

Junior asks Filia to tell her story. She does. It’s a long tale stretching back millions of years. The sun goes down and the Milky Way is bright in the night sky. Junior is falling into her eyes. Filia is falling into his. He makes his move. Filia consents. They conceive.

Junior can’t stop thinking about the humans who took care of him and doesn’t know what happened to them after the ground shook. He slips away in the middle of the night, but he doesn’t recognize the disaster-ridden coastline when he arrives. He has a soft spot for humans because they were kind to him, so he locates a bunch of people swept away by the tsunami. Living and dead alike are gathered and placed on dry land where rescuers can reach them.

Junior finds Azusa on a balcony far inland. She recognizes him despite his mutated appearance, but she doesn’t understand his roar is telling her that he’s fine and about to be a dad. She cries instead, so he leaves and that is the last time they see each other.

A year later, Filia and Junior crouch by their nest and watch their egg hatch. It’s a boy with heterochromia. One eye is yellow, the other is brown. He has Junior’s facial features and Filia’s elegant long tail. He’s smaller than Filia was when she hatched. Kaijuologists nickname him Kage(kah-geh), which is Japanese for shadow, because his hide is black like one.

Kage falls out of his eggshell in a curled up position. It takes him a few days to walk and his hands are tight fists. The way he moves reminds Filia of her dad. And she is right, he inherited Godzilla’s heart issues and the subsequent neurological issues.

Kage is a grumpy little baby at first because he hatched in the winter and it’s cold. His parents keep him warm in their cave for the first few days until he’s able to shuffle around. His legs are much more affected than Godzilla’s, but he can walk if he goes slow and he’ll get a little better at it with time. He falls over a lot because he’s pigeon toed.

Filia and Junior are overwhelmed with joy because their baby didn’t keel over dead like they feared he might. They take Kage to meet his grandparents. Shezilla dotes on him immediately, and Godzilla is totally amazed to see another godzillasaur who Moves Like Him. He looks down at the baby godzillasaur and sees both his mother and father looking back at him through his grandson’s eyes.

Kage squawks a challenge because he can’t roar yet. Godzilla belly laughs as he comes to understand what his own father saw in him when he was little. Then he gets a goofy grin on his face because teaching Kage all the tricks to managing his Palsy will be so much fun! Kage will grow up surrounded by a loving family with a legacy as old as the sky.

And from his unseen place in the Stars, Gojira smiles proudly at all his son has achieved.

[cosmicpeko]

Tool ㅡ Chapter 2: Beauty

Word count: 1,688

OTP: Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu x Peko Pekoyama | Danganronpa 2

Additional characters: Hiyoko Saionji, Nagito Komaeda, Ibuki Mioda, others implied

Story type: Fanfiction

Short summary: Peko Pekoyama dives into her most precious memories in an intimate journey to self-love, trying to live with emotions she can’t control and to discover what it’s like to be a real person. More notes at the end.

Read on AO3.

ㅡ

Quick notes before you start: More characters will be mentioned in this chapter and the plot will be a little more consistent this time - while still keeping Peko’s introspective style and thought processing. Remember this is a collection of memories, so the story will follow a timeline, but the episodes are not related. Enjoy!

ㅡ

My lips whisper: I am a tool. I was brought to this world to be by his side; I shall fulfill my purpose.

« Remind me why we joined this lame-ass party in the first place. »

I awaken from my dissociation. I forgot where I was ㅡ I don't know how long I was absent.

« Well, for one: you need to step out your yakuza royalty zone and stop being an uptight asshole; for two, this isn't a party, it's an extra-class briefing and as long as class rep wants you here, you come here. Are you afraid we see your momma come pick you up? » « I will fucking slit your throat, you nasty pigtailed bitch. » « Do it, pussy. I'm waiting. »

Conversations float above my head, never touch my ears. Crimson eyes mix with peach and tangerine lights of a summer sunset. Rays filtered by the see-through texture of the room's curtains. Dust flies around bothered by the slightest movement. Hazy comfort.

"Are you having fun, tool? Are you relaxed?" Hands stop mid-air, vainly attempting to catch a rivulet of light for myself. To steal it ㅡ they are now cold, uninhabitable. "You are failing, I see," heart shakes, "at keeping your priorities in check." Head immediately turns around, facing the inside of the room. Analyzing every face. Looking for guilty expressions. Fingers reach for the sword bag, then stop once again. Body is all tensed up. Pure anxiety ㅡ need to control. "Do not let your guard down. Protect your Master."

In no way I was going to be at peace.

« AAAHH!!! I can't believe this sewer rat grabbed my kimono!!! Pekoyama, come get your fucking boyfriend!!! » « Imma kill you right here, right now, or I swear my last name is not fuckin' Kuzuryuu! » « Yakuza is societal filth that can't live in the civilized world and I hope you know that very well!!! » The sight of a rather normal teenage scenario unraveling before me ㅡ it's soothing. This is what 'young' looks like. An inaudible sigh leaves me.

« Fuyuhiko. Is there something bothering you? » calm voice keeps a secret ㅡ I would be ready to kill anyone who touches him. First sight is enough to me. « You even got your girlfriend to hate me? Fine! You two smell too fishy. Are you yakuza too, four-eyes? » I refrain to reply. Just at first. Blonde hair floats on traditional clothing. Face too pretty. Mouth too lousy. « I have no reason to hate you, » I wouldn't know how. « You have been screaming for a while now - it's wrecking my ears, and everybody else's in this room. »

« Oi, Saionji. » something in that call alerts me, too. I immediately turn ㅡ to hear soft chuckles. Hands waving innocently. Pale and sickly. His walk is unbalanced in a way that disturbs me. « I advise you not to provoke the swordswoman in any way. She might hurt you real bad, » he lowers his sight, « ...hehe- and I mean, serious boo boo. You wouldn't mess with such a wonderful couple anyway, would you? » Something about this person is not healthy, both physical and mentally speaking. He reminds me of a haunted house ㅡ terrifying. Abandoned on its own pity. With empty rooms and hollow hallways ㅡ inhabited by ghosts only he can see. « What's this? A congregation of rats?! And like, aren't you fucking dead already? » « You're right, » chuckles, « I should be. I wonder why that hasn't happened to me already, given my circle of luck- »

« YOOOOOSHHHH! We now announce you - we?? Well I, me, myself, Ibuki Mioda - I'm bored!!! » Everything in the room ceases to exist for a minute, overshadowed by this loud screaming entry. Mioda ㅡ overwhelming. Personified hyperactivity. Too much energy unchanneled. « Since this meeting seems to come to nnnooouu~ conclusion whatsoever, »  Mioda has this way of speaking that would make my sword terribly easy to wield. "We - we?? No I, me, myself, Ibuki Mioda - decided to start having fun - in the girls' way!!! » « Oh, here we fuckin' go- » « SHUT UP!!! We're hosting a makeover!!! I'm gonna make you shine with a perfect look!!!" her expression changes drastically in a fistful of seconds, « I need a volunteer though. » I find myself even more puzzled. I wouldn't quite know how this would be fun. In fact, I am convinced I have ever experienced that kind of amusement in any way, at this point. Only the thought of it ㅡ a context where I do not possess self-control. Where I am not focused enough. Uneasiness inducing thoughts ㅡ they make me frown immediately. « Oh??? And why is Komaeda even here?!? The boys spent the entire afternoon looking for you- » « I've always been inside this house. » eerie man speaks again. Voice is incredibly pacifying. It clashes with his spectral look. « Besides, I would rather not spend all my time with those idiotic peasants. To be fair, I'm here to get away from them. May I share a suggestion for who you should do this makeover to? » His eyes wander for a little more just for the suspance. Greyish and dull. They find me very soon, and try to lock into mine. I secure an exchange of glances before I retreat into something more comfortable ㅡ like afternoon warm rays posing and reflecting on the almost unsettling white of my skin. I tried to outrun him. In vain.

« Pekoyama Peko, perhaps? Will you have the guts to accept the duty? »

I can hear my Master gulp from a distance. « YOOOOSSHHH!!! Then it's settled!!! » she took the suggestion before I could reply. Komaeda grins like he defeated an enemy. « I'll gather all the girls here!!! Take a seat and enjoy the ride~! » Anything that happens in between the moments is way beyond my knowledge. Eyes immediately to my Master as soon as my classmates push me into the project. A part of me needs to let him know I am fine, in every context. Istinct. Pure guts.

Hands and tools start unbraiding my hair, let it flow on my shoulders. Some other are on my face. I close my eyes. Panicking. Uncontrolled discomfort. Every inch of my body is ready to fight back the danger. But there is no danger. The danger is an illusion. And this illusion ㅡ I feel it wrecking me. Making me paranoid, and at the same time, always ready to protect. A machine, brought to life to be forever on the edge. Walking on the thin layer between total control and madness. This, this will make me mad.

« Peko, you have the longest hair ever. It's a pity you always braid them!!! You reaaaally have this beauty potential- I'm sure Fuyuhiko agrees with me!!! »

I feel my eyelids snap open. No one is allowed to even breathe his name. I frantically look for him. I can't see between the many bodies. I can't keep in control of things. I start to panic even more. I never felt this. Never. But control needs to be the first thing. My Master needs to be the first thing. My life is in forever duty. His safety is my duty. I do not have time for this. I do not have permission for this. I do not deserve-

« WE DONE!!! Classmates, be gone. Let the girl admire the Gods' work!!! » Mioda's high pitch in distance shuts everything silent. In my brain. In the room. Bodies have left my side, letting light fill my now-closed eyelids again. I can feel its warmth. And I don't want to wake up from the dream of ignorance. But voices urge me. Impatient vibes torture my spine. I need to confront it.

I decide to ㅡ so blood-shot iris anxiously point the picture on the mirror before me. And they don't recognize it.

On the other side, mirror Peko's hair is completely free, fallen gently on her shoulders, on her back. Sweet curls rest on her body. Face is filled with light makeup, to contour, to refine ㅡ the beauty of the picture, and the ugliness of the inside.

I can not handle this. This is so new, so unexperienced. So beyond my knowledge of reality. My image has drastically changed ㅡ I can not see the pain anymore. I can't feel the hardness of the skin anymore. The sorrow. The solitude. The constrained acceptance of my fate. Tool. Mumblings inside my head are gentler. Tool. Faces all around me are gentler. Tool. The world feels lovely to my heart. Tool. Tool. Tool. Tool. Tool. Tool. Tool. Tool. Tool.

« Well? Peko???! Moshi moooshhh??? » I can't help it. I can not help but struggle to live with this new truth that is unraveling before me. I need to go back to reality.

How dare I. How dare I. How dare I-

« Will you shut the fuck up? Both of you! Mioda, Saionji, and even Komaeda - yes I see you! Fucking stop!!! » A splash of freezing water leaving me breathless ㅡ His voice. His rushed breath, his running towards me. His hands on me. Everything is just right the moment he comes back to my side. I sense him reading me, like the title of an old book lying on a low shelf.

He knows something I don't know. He sees something I can't see.

Something I need.

« Peko. You really are beautiful, » he says. Not even a flinch on his face ㅡ he wouldn't dare to show weakness in public. But I can sense it. His true self. « You deserve this moment. »

My mind loses it, slowly, entering a coma of self-soothing mumbling. I feel my eyes water instantly. Painful drops suddenly tear my skin.

« What??? What the heck?? You made her cry!!! » « I said close your fucking mouth or I swear to God- » « You're not supposed to make her cry!!! Oh Lord of make up- please forgive him! » « Mioda, one more word!!! » « You made your girlfriend cry!!!! Watch her being desperate and know it's your fault! » « Ah...the hope and despair born from love...how strangely beautiful...how terrifying... » « You really should be dead already!!! »

Voices fade, as I close my eyes again, indulging myself in a moment of wet abandonment.

ㅡ

Soooorrryyyyyy for keeping you wait! This is the second chapter of our dear Peko’s memories collection! I really want to thank you for the overwhelming support I received for the 1st chapter. I did not see that coming!!! Thank you so much ;_;

Ps. I might need to call off the weekly update restriction, cause I find it kinda...limiting? I really need inspiration to work, I can’t afford to feel pressured on this too ;; sorry guys. But I’ll still be quick cause I already have the story aaaall in my head. See you soon with the next chapter! Also, any kind of sharing and support will be deeply appreciated!

Next chapter hints: We’ll get a bit more into something we’ve already seen in Danganronpa, both the story and the game. Even with the episode being canon, I’ll describe it using something out of my fantasy. Hope you’ll love it!

[aka-willow]

What I Lost

gif

Words: 1419

Characters: Willow Wren, Fanisimo

Prompt/Tag:

“great. perfect. nice. fuck this.”

“I just needed to hear your voice.”

Summary: Willow finds herself homeless again

Timeline: December 2015

Song: Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day

A/N: thanks again for reading!!!!!! i’m :D

—————————————————————————–

Remember that building I mentioned, the one with the water tower on the roof? The one I said if I ever needed a place to hide out, this would be it?

Well.

I bought a tent and space heater and set up camp underneath the water tower, which shielded the tent from most of the elements. Inside, I snaked in an extension cord and siphoned off the building’s electricity to charge my phone and laptop, and power the heater and cheap Christmas lights I bought from Walmart. Marty’s “bail money” had come in handy. Homeless again. This fucking sucks.

I showered in the locker room before school and got ready in the bathroom. I skimmed change from the coin returns at the row of vending machines near the cafeteria and used that to pay for the laundromat. I made friends with the guy who sold grilled cheese from his truck a few blocks away, and he gave me free grilled cheese when I helped him deliver sandwiches to the old lady that lived down the street and didn’t leave her apartment.

It was a precarious setup, but it got me through my first week back on my own, though the wind never stopped. It seemed like all most every night my powers spiraled out of control at least once, causing me to have to sit out on the roof, hoping I wouldn’t destroy anything. It was even worse at school, and I felt as if I were constantly sitting on a rigged bomb.

Between juggling homework and my new living situation, I spent my time trying to crack the file Marty left on the flash drive. I hadn’t heard from Detective Dunphee, and I was starting to think that they had run into a dead end. Of course they did. Both you and Kate lied to them.

I tried using Marty’s favorite books and stories as passwords, but nothing was clicking. calvinandhobbes. theodyssey. thelightningthief.

I called Fanisimo one night, sitting out on the rooftop, far away from the tent where I spent most of my evenings. It was a clear night, and I was exhausted from spending the day revamping the space and rigging up everything I needed to survive. “Hey, everything all right?” he asked, picking up.

“I just needed to hear your voice,” I said. “What’s up?”

He shrugged over Facetime, the image pixelated and distorted. “I’m still working on something to… uh… contain whatever you have going on. I have a prototype that should be ready by the time we have our meetup.”

“What is it?”

Fanisimo walked around his workshop and flipped his camera around to show me a device sitting on his workbench. “I’m hoping this will dampen it, or maybe stop it completely.” It was a small chip, barely visible on my small phone screen. “I based it off old HYDRA tech. They’ve used it to restrict powers before.”

“How does it work?”

Fanisimo flipped the camera back around. “Inserted right here,” he said, pointing at the back of his neck. “Like the ones we had when we were kids when we were adjusting to our new abilities.”

“Right,” I said, swallowing uncomfortably. “Is that the only option?”

“I mean, I’m going off of whatever I have,” Fanisimo said. “And it’s not a lot. If you could figure out what you were hit with…”

“It was blue,” I said. “A big blue beam. And then kaput.” I paused. “My friend Kate said the person had a HYDRA patch on their jacket. I think it was supposed to kill me. But it didn’t. It just totally fucked up my powers.”

Fanisimo frowned. “So… HYDRA weaponry. Possibly a prototype. And instead of killing you…”

“Best guess?”

“My guess is it was a weapons malfunction,” he said. “Did you have anything else on you at the time? Something could have shorted—I don’t know.”

I walk back to the tent to look through my things, embracing the space heater’s warmth. “I had my phone on me. Jacket. Backpack.”

“Yeah, that wouldn’t do it,��� he said.

I flipped my backpack upside down and sorted through its contents. “I had Marty’s flash drive?”

“Nah. Never mind. It was just a thought.” We talked a little longer, mostly just talking about old memories, as we usually did, comparing our notes and trying to get a little more back. It had become a habit to share our dreams and random déjà vu, even if most of the time it amounted to nothing new and we trod over the same few memories.

“I remember snow in woods,” Fanisimo said. “Is that weird?”

“A little,” I said. “We never went outside beyond the wall at that training facility that one time.”

“I remember it,” he said again, quieter. “I remember being in the woods and being so cold. And there was… like… this house. All broken down and stuff.”

“I remember there was a rabbit in one of the gardens,” I said. “I tried to catch it and they stopped me.”

“Cheerios,” added Fanisimo. “I remember eating Cheerios.”

“I remember Dr. Turner always wore high heels,” I said. “When they sent me into isolation those times, I remember the points sunk into the cushioned floor.”

“I remember acid.”

“Revenge is a dish best served cold,” I said. “Or did they always say vengeance? I don’t remember.”

“I remember you guys. And the meds they had us on. I hated feeling like that.”

“I remember Monster. And sumerkey.”

“I remember that chair.”

“I remember the electricity.”

We sat in silence as we tried to make sense of it all, find some reason that we went through all of it. All of us had been tracking down old scientists and leaking their information, but I was the only one who had confronted them, and I barely had any leads to show for it. You have to find Dr. Turner. She’ll know. And if there’s a book involved, find that too.

“Hold on,” said Fanisimo, his tone changing. “What’s that thing on the bottom of your backpack? The shiny thing. You didn’t mention that.”

I look over at the backpack next to me on my sleeping bag. “Where? I don’t see it.”

“Hold on,” said Fanisimo. “The light has to hit it right.”

I angled the backpack a little, and sure enough, I found a thin sliver of something reflective affixed to the material on the base of my backpack. Wordlessly, I gave it a tug and pulled it off. It had the texture of a thin wire and was about the width of a string. “That’s weird,” I said. “Probably got stuck to it when I had my backpack on the floor or something.”

“I don’t think so,” said Fanisimo, and when I looked back at his face, his mouth was creased into a grimace. “Can you send me a picture?”

I did so, and while I waited to respond, I studied the object in my hand, turning it over, noticing that the surface of it seemed burnt in places, and now that I looked, the space where it had been on my backpack was also singed. I started backtracking, realizing that there was so much I hadn’t told the Lab Rats about my activities in New York and—

“Hey,” said Fanisimo, returning. “How long has that been there?”

“No idea.”

“Well… uh… I think that’s a tracker.”

“What?”

“A tracker. Like the kind SHIELD might use. It could also be a bug, but I’m not sure, it’s hard to say. Have you had any contact with someone from… I don’t know… anyone who could plant it?” I remembered the day at the apartment when those agents arrived, but my backpack had been in my bedroom and no one had gone near it. I could have been followed after the fact.

“No,” I said. “No idea.” Great. Perfect. Nice. Fuck this.

“I’d bet anything that’s what caused the malfunction. Heckergal, you gotta get rid of that. This is bad.”

“I know that!” I snapped. “I know it’s bad!”

“Jeez, okay,” said Fanisimo. “I just—”

“I gotta go,” I said, and left the call. I stepped back out of the tent and the wind swirled around the rooftop in a vortex as I struggled to keep control, loose bits of gravel and debris stinging my face as I tried to calm down. It was as if the walls were slowly closing in, and I was running out of time.

I need to find Dr. Turner.

[leonawriter]

Second Chances

Read it on AO3

Fandom: Final Fantasy VII

Characters: Cloud, Shelke, Genesis, various others.

Summary: Following on from First Encounters, Shelke helps bring certain things to light about their new acquaintance. When Cloud finally finds him again, his attempts at getting answers are less than fruitful.

Written for @strifesodosweek, though this one’s mainly platonic again.

...

It happens while Genesis is away, and no one knows where he's gone. It isn't the first time that's happened, and they weren't too bothered about it, because everyone had things they didn't want to talk about, something that Cloud understood more than most.

It's one of those rare occasions when there's more people around than there aren't, too, which he'd be suspicious of if it weren't for how sometimes, that's just how things are. 

Vincent's talking to Tifa, Yuffie's stroking Nanaki's mane, and Cid's taking a drag of a cigarette by the door when Shelke comes walking in, looking vaguely uncomfortable and saying that she had 'information that she believed that everyone present might benefit from'.

...

"The man who is now staying here, I believe that he is the one that Deepground referred to as 'G'," she continues as soon as everyone is settled down. "He introduced himself to Cloud as a SOLDIER First Class, am I correct?"

Cloud nods. He doesn't look her in the eye.

"G... as we now know him, 'Genesis', was the origin of Deepground, in many ways, according to all of the information I was able to obtain on the matter, and the one whose cells were used in order to create the Tsviets. Shinra seems to have made extensive attempts to delete his existence from history, so what I was able to find was... at times inadequate, and often inconclusive, but does point to the indubitable fact that the Genesis we know may be the very same as the SOLDIER who despite Shinra's efforts, will agree caused a considerable amount of damage and loss of life up until some years ago."

It took effort for Cloud to not let the ringing in his ears overtake him, to keep listening to what was being said, to not grip the table so hard that Tifa was going to have to get a new one.

Tifa sighs, and he looks up, to see her sharing a look with Cid, who looks grim, but...

"Yeah, I figured as much," the man says. "I mean, with a name like that? There's only so many in the world, y'know? And damn, but I was around in those days - they can pretend it didn't happen as much as they like, but the Genesis war was a thing, and people tend to talk when there's something going on like a SOLDIER gone rogue. All hush-hush of course, but what wasn't."

His head- his head... 

The world flashed green, just for a split second, enough to put him off balance.

A voice-

You were a test subject in Hojo's new experiment. 

The monster has been harvested, and can be discarded.

"...thought I knew him from somewhere."

Tifa's voice snapped him free, but he still felt the sweat on the back of his neck. Her words registered to him only vaguely, as he tried to remember how to breathe again.

"Cloud?"

He shakes his head. 

"I'm fine," he says. Vincent doesn't look much like he believes him any more than Tifa does, but the last thing he wants right now is for them to start fussing over him, when they have bigger problems at hand than whatever his memories are up to this time. He's thankful when they just let the matter drop.

"Like I was saying, I thought I knew him from somewhere. His face seemed familiar, you know? And his name, somehow."

"So this guy waltzes in here like he doesn't expect anyone's gonna remember him, is that it?"

"I don't know, something about this seems-"

"He saved Raye and Este before I could get to them," Cloud cuts in, his eyes still squarely on the surface of the table and no one and nothing else. It's almost as though he's hearing someone else speak, and doesn't know whether to hate himself for speaking up for the person he didn't know if he could trust any longer, or feel relieved that he was saying it at all. "If all anyone's got is incomplete data and rumours," including me, he added silently, even now, I wouldn't rely on anything I remember from back then unless someone else is able to back it up, "then... even if nothing else... we can't judge him like that until we know everything."

When he eventually looks back up, Shelke's eyes are on her hands, crossed on her lap.

"I merely thought that additional information would be useful," she said. "Especially if something came up where a lack of prior knowledge would have caused further divisions."

...

Genesis doesn't return for several days, and it's long enough for some of the others to start wondering if he'd merely been toying with them, stringing them along, using their hospitality.

Cloud doesn't know what to think, and he doesn't really know what he wants to think, either. The two images in his head - that of the man who saved a couple of kids and their dog just because he was there, and that of someone who'd had a war named after him - clashed, irreconcilable.

He finds that his feet are taking him to the church in Sector Five, and wonders what Aerith would make of all this. What Zack would make of it.

The last thing he expects to find in the church are black feathers. His heart stops, hand going for his sword - the last time he had seen feathers like these... it hadn't been here, but Loz had been here, and fought Tifa, too.

A quick scan of the rest of the church suggested that there hadn't been another fight here, that nothing was out of place, that the pool of water that Aerith had called down that cured Geostigma was still as it should be. 

He finally sees the source of the feathers when he looks up to check that the Buster Sword is still in its place, and he feels himself go cold at the sight.

The wing was on the wrong side. Misshapen, compared to Sephiroth's. 

Instead of silvery-white hair falling straight down, the owner's hair was red, and fell over black and red leather, what little could be seen from behind, and with the way that the winged man was hunched over.

Cloud puts one foot in front of the other, and sees Genesis - because there's no one else it could be, no matter how much he wishes it wasn't - tense at the sound. 

"Shelke told us a few things," he says as he walks. "And we figured out a few other bits by ourselves."

He pauses several feet away, but Genesis still hasn't risen from the pew. He hasn't even turned to face him. A nervous tension pools in Cloud's stomach at the idea of Genesis, who had been unarmed the last he knew, taking Buster Sword and using it to turn on them all.

"What are you even doing here?"

When Loz had come, it was supposedly to find him, although he'd taken to fighting Tifa and stealing their materia. He had no such understanding of this man's motives. Not anymore, at least, if he ever had.

"My soul, corrupted by vengeance, hath endured torment... to find the end of the journey in my own salvation and your eternal slumber." Genesis let the church echo for a few moments before saying anything else, the words ringing familiar to Cloud, but not explaining anything. "I came to pay my respects, of course."

The wing shook itself out slightly, before settling down again.

"You knew Zack," he says, and it isn't a question. It's the only thing that fits.

"I... suppose you could say that."

Genesis says it in such a way that Cloud knows there's more to it, that it's complicated, and he wants to take the man by that stupid coat of his, and shake him until his feathers fall out along with some answers.

But he doesn't. Because Aerith's flowers aren't that far away, and he knew better than any that her presence still hadn't truly left them. There'd already been enough fighting in this place.

"I spoke up for you," Cloud hears himself saying. "I thought you deserved a chance."

Perhaps some part of him had intended it to come out as anything other than confrontational, but if it did, then it failed - it sounds like nothing more than an accusation.

"All in all, a terrible decision, really," Genesis says flatly. "I could list off any number of reasons why you and everyone else I've come into contact with should hate me." Something about the way he said it gave Cloud no doubt about that, either. "Unfortunately for you, however, I have promises to keep, and none of them include dying any time soon."

Genesis stands, and the wing stretches out as the man sorts himself out, head tilting up, as though attempting to judge the size of and distance to the hole in the roof.

"Promises?" Cloud asks, reaching for something, anything, to help him understand. "What sort of promises?"

"Nothing you need to worry yourself over, Cloud."

Genesis' head tilted, and Cloud wondered why hearing this man say his name already felt so different from when Sephiroth had  - there was something similar but off that he couldn't quite put his finger on. 

Then again, that was Genesis all over, it seemed. Full of contradictions, constantly shifting. Like fire.

The wing flaps once, and before Cloud can react to say or do anything else, Genesis is gone, leaving a trail of feathers floating down in his wake. 

He walks over to where the man had been, half expecting to see something there, some kind of trap, but finds nothing.

There is, however, a single Banora White apple sitting on top of a few black feathers in front of the Buster Sword, and Cloud almost thinks that he can feel a memory on the tip of his tongue before it disappears on him, like a whisper on the wind.

Zack... I hope I made the right decision. 

A single feather fell onto the water's surface as he walked back to the open doors, creating ripples as the wind blew it this way and that.

...

AN: I don't often write about 'how do the gang find out about Genesis' past', but I do feel like it should ideally be handled really carefully, and yeah, if people hadn't thought about it and then it comes up later, then there are going to be issues there. 

Timeline-wise, I'd also put this as before 'Spar With Me', which gives an idea that things do indeed get better.

[pricemarshfield]

see you looking through me (like you unzipped the zipper)

a roserezi fic about dealing with issues and psychic powers

read on ao3 here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11072058

Your relationships on the meteor, simplified:

Dave Strider is your brother, and the only other human on the meteor. As such, the two of you are closer than you would ever have expected, back when he some asshole with a blog attempting to rap with and/or at you. You love him, and you'll tease him about his budding relationship with Karkat for the rest of your natural life.

Karkat Vantas is odd. Part of you likes the way that you always know what he's feeling, but it puts you a little on edge, too. You don't know him well enough to call him a friend, but calling him an acquaintance feels a bit rude, given that he's one of six people you will be able to interact with for the next one-and-a-half years (roughly).

Gamzee Makara is repulsive. You're lucky enough to not have to actually deal with him; he avoids the whole lot of you, ever since Vriska...threatened him? Intimidated him? Rose wasn't there. You're grateful to her, either way.

Vriska Serket, despite your gratitude, is someone you are convinced you will duel to the death one day. She's loud and obnoxious and Kanaya used to have a crush on her, which would be ground enough for at least sparring, but sometimes you looks at Vriska and sees yourself, cheesy as it sounds. You aren't sure if you're the hero who has to hear the cliche speech or if you're going to eventually ascend into the eldritch abomination you dabbled with and fall prey to every trope known to mankind. Trollkind.

Kanaya Maryam is lovely. You've kissed and held hands and cuddled, and you're getting used to waking up to Kanaya's gentle glow. You don't know if you're actually girlfriends are not because you're too afraid to bring it up, and hate yourself for it, a little bit.

Then there's Terezi.

Terezi is...well.

You're not sure if you hate her or want to be her friend or what. You genuinely have no idea. At one point, you were desperate enough to entertain the idea of going to Karkat and asking about quadrants, but Kanaya intervened, and Vriska later interrupted to make fun of you both. Sometimes you wonders if Vriska's jealous and get caught up in some fear over Vriska being more open (a joke in and of itself) and Kanaya leaving you, but then they're back at the what are we conversation you're too much of a closet case to have, no matter whether you're technically out.

But back to Terezi. You find you're thinking a lot more about Terezi, now, but you're not sure why. The uncertainty bugs you more than the thought itself.

You know Terezi wasn't always blind. You don't know the whole story, because Kanaya was reluctant to share and you were smart enough not to pry, but. You feel your metaphorical hackles rising every time Terezi moves as if to actually look at something, even though it never bugged you Before.

That's another thing. Before. As in capital-B Before, and you're annoyed with Sburb for making you resort to such cheap tricks to establish importance.

You can feel an entire other timeline. Or not timeline, exactly, that's Dave's thing, but something. An entire other fate. There are moments when you turn to look at Kanaya, illuminated in the overhead light, and stumbles forward as if you've just seen her be killed. Sometimes you looks at Vriska and just thinks that you shouldn't be here, and one of your casual, hidden insults cuts a little too deep to try and cover that and you end up having to apologize. You wake up and feel alcohol burning at the back of your throat even though you haven't had any for over six months, and you're proud of that.

(You won't admit it to anyone, even Dave, but you tried alchemizing a chip for almost three hours before giving up. You miss Earth, obviously, but you never thought you'd be so nostalgic over tangible reminders of accomplishment.)

And sometimes you think about Terezi acting as if she still has her sight, and even though you know that there's no reason it should bother you, it does because could she actually see again Before, it makes you want to take her apart piece by piece until you figure out what's going on.

(Mentally. Despite your casual attitude towards morbidity, you've never been a fan of that kind of gore. Your needles are better for stabbing than such exact work, anyway.)

You're busy replacing Dave's Lucky Charms with store brand cereal just to see if he'll notice when Terezi walks in and says, "I forgot you were a seer."

Her voice is quiet and serious in a way that you don't think she's seen in Terezi, and it makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. You put down the box of cereal and say, "And?"

It's a blunder, far too confrontational, and you curse yourself for it, but Terezi doesn't react.

"Seer," Terezi says, as an address.

"Rose," you snap.

This is a disaster. You're giving far too much away.

"Am I Seer if I didn't die on a quest bed?" Terezi says, and the seriousness is gone an instant after. Her grin is wide, teeth like a shark's. "Who knows? Why does it boooooooother you?" A cackle.

You hate that you can tell that Terezi drew it out for eight beats. Still, it's a little comforting to know you're not the only emotionally constipated person on the meteor trying to court someone else all while dealing with debilitating anxiety. (Well, there's also Dave.)

"No, but it's curious you bring it up," you say, trying to regain control of the situation. "It suggests an inferiority complex over the entire issue. Is that why you resent me? Do you see me as fulfilling the potential you have not?"

You're not sure what the hell you're saying, but it sounds mean and psychological enough to work.

"You're the one who resents me, Miss Lalonde!" Terezi says, grin not fading a bit. "And I thank you not to try your therapist act on me. Do you really think you can out-talk a lawyer?"

No, but damn, she'll try. Also, Terezi's not a lawyer, she's a teenager with a complex.

(Pot, meet kettle.)

"I'm curious as to why you think I think about you enough to resent you," you say, and it sort of feels like you should be saying this weapons drawn, circling each other, not while you're leaning against the counter of the kitchen next to a box of partially-store-brand Lucky Charms.

"Well," Terezi says. "Perhaps the fact that you've been staring me down any time we happen to be in the same room together? It's very suspicious of you to engage in such confrontation with me! After all, I cannot defend myself."

"Terezi, I find it difficult to imagine you defenseless," you say, and even as you say it there's the vaguest image of Terezi and a murderclown and lava and self-stabbing, and you're sure your face drops. What's really suspicious is that Terezi doesn't take advantage of the momentary weakness. Some lawyer.

"I knew it," Terezi crows. "Seer."

You don't draw your wands, but it's close. "Stop calling me that."

"But you remember,” Terezi says. "I can. I knew it!"

Terezi laughs loudly, and you grew up in a house almost entirely silent, except for vacuuming and occasionally something being knocked over. You cross your arms, despite the obvious defensiveness inherent in doing so, and hiss, "What exactly do you remember."

"Almost all of it," Terezi says, and her shark-smile drops. "I killed Vriska, you know."

"I didn't," you say.

"Does it scare you?" Terezi asks, mockingly.

"I'm terrified," you say, voice monotone. If anything, it makes you feel better, knowing more. Or, to be more accurate, you are terrified, but it's an existential terror, and knowing that the girl across from you killed someone doesn't add to that in any meaningful way. "Anything else?"

"Why, Lalonde, do you want my help?" Terezi asks.

"No," you say instinctively, too quickly. You take a moment, then say, "Why is it you assume I want to remember another timeline? There are plenty. Ask Dave."

"This is different," Terezi says. "This is the same time. It's not time that's the problem."

"What is, then?" you ask, because you are so desperate to understand what's happening, because not knowing why the world works the way it does makes you want to scratch at the walls more than the stir-craziness already does.

"Outcome," Terezi says. "Probability."

"That's Light," you say.

"Decisions!" Terezi says. "That's Mind. That's me. And this isn't a timeline change, what John did was different--"

"So?" you say. "What does that mean?"

"It means we're the only connection to what happened Before." (Fuck the capital-B.) "Aren't you curious?"

There's a moment where you hesitate. You have to think it through, close your eyes and let the Light tell you what comes next. It doesn't, of course. Such powers can only do so much in the void. Still, when you open your eyes to meet Terezi's blank stare, you've made up your mind.

"Fine," you say. "Can you manage to be less insufferable while we work?"

Terezi tilts her head. "This is the most blatant calignous flirting I've ever encountered."

You falter, because you're still not sure you understand the quadrants and kind of think they're stupid and also, there's Kanaya. But Terezi's all pointy smiles and matching you barb for barb, and even if it's not serious, you may as well dabble.

"Well," you say, "I'll have to work on my subtlety."

[mr-mirrus-mrz-mirr-blog]

Space between two doors

Setting: An unknown location. The following is an experience retold by a woman to a receptive mentor. The following takes place over the course of several years although time is not kept. Each time the pair meets, they are slightly changed in appearance to represent the influences on their bodies and minds from other forces in their lives. The chorus emphasizes emotions that are being experienced by the confessor and asks questions to help guide the story. The Narrator has an advanced understanding of the situation. 

Characters: Confessor, Chorus, Narrator from Unidentified Time, The Other

Confessor (speaking to ?): I feel something strange in my heart - its capacity known before - but without courage - its presence tears me apart

Chorus: Joy. Life. Fear. What is it? 

Confessor: Should I embody it - Oh I would be glad - it is known to produce roots - capable to cure the sad - It is there - like wind through hair - sand through fingers - smooth and free - it can breathe - and then it passes - I let it pass from me - 

Chorus: Risks never taken - love never spoken - walls rebuilt - soldiers re stand. Hope. Insecurity. Insanity. Loss. What is it? 

Confessor: It appears to me in a warm form - and then I feel capable - of being in love -  I unlock - trickling extensive - wild - but soon it returns to its glacial-like form - frozen - (it was) shocked by depression (depression happens after it learns the truth)- protected and guarded - it fought, fought fought - fought the sun - years passed - it confused fought with won - it tripled in agony - scared of itself- did what it could to forget the forecast of death - practiced the scam of immortality - and drifted mindlessly - seeking comfort with others - who loved to battle death

Chorus: What melts it? 

Confessor: Once I experienced something unexpected - a death - a murder - of a good friend - they say his back was turned - and shots were fired - he was dead - the end - but he had loved - 

- once - in a space - he hugged me - and picked me up - between two doors - during a party - and said he loved me - his love felt trivial then - because in that space - there was no timeline - for me - of his death - seeing that the way I knew life - was to expect our times together -listening - understanding - smoking weed together - to go on forever - I was naive - and privileged in the world of death - our friendship was odd - rich white single - poor black baby dad - he had a great smile - and spoke honest words - he said I loved life - when I had hated it - I could accept his death - when it happened - as if it was a bill in the mail - it was kinda normal around there - for black bodies to be swept away - in the middle of the night - to cells and graves -drug trades - single mommas - letting life go on - but never forgotten - it just did - in the way injustice does - coping operating in a system of hate and so much more that is not mine to relate

I often pretend he never died - that he’s somewhere else - floating - or- living his life - I let images of his daughters - so excited to see their father - be what I choose to remember - sometimes his image floats into my mind - and I remember him - a light turns on - like he was a cherished book I once read - and couldn’t put down - and was so upset when it ended - that I pushed it out of my memory - threw it on the ground - livid that something I loved and I thought had loved me back - just ended - left me hanging - no epilogue - he was no longer my friend - their father - just another victim of the system - and when he randomly pops into my head - I’m transported - to warmth - to love - to hope - just for a minute - until I turn it off - and pretend none of it happened - the end

Narrator: It was sometime after his death that she noticed a vast ocean - its tides lapping into areas - she had walked in before - some have seen it - some have known it - fought it as fear - loved it as inspiration - some cannot place its reverberations as it expresses itself, inherited, in their geneological framework - some see it and build a wall around it - or guide others toward it - the ocean is always there - in the back of our mind creeping forward - incredibly fast or routinely slow - when will we see it? when do we choose to see it?

when our confessor noticed the vast ocean - she felt a deep yearning - like a rooting pit inside her stomach - to be part of that ocean - as if it was some type of home she had once known - as if the ocean was a stomach carrying the rooting pit a trillion times over - and she felt triumph - some of it conditioned - some natural - of being removed - from that ocean - 

she thought she saw her reflection - in the vast ocean - 

Confessor: “No! - Could not be”

Chorus: Jealousy. Longing. Awakening. Uncertainty. Do you miss that space? 

Narrator: So the confessor called it the other and went back beyond walls - feeling protected and superior in its decision - but also changed and distressed - what it had experienced by the ocean was a depression - a realness - a cavity of awareness - its rawness emotional - vivid - so threatening to the life she had constructed - confused as what to do with the cavity - no instructions in her programming - medicines and distractions seemed like easy prescriptions - to fill the new space created within her - Yet she could not resist and again looked far into the other - into the vastness- and saw something like a reflection again. 

Confessor?: It could not be - is that me? - it looks like me…I hate that part of me. 

Chorus: Disgust. Fear. Annoyance. Sadness. 

Confessor: It will not be me. 

Narrator: She could not resist and visited it so many times that the things and people she thought she loved became superficial - she worked hard to explain her absences - to come to terms with the new way she felt about life - to appreciate that it was all a spectrum - she struggled with hate - judgement - she struggled with the power that came from using her mind - for it was common practice - for small people like her - to associate men with power - and to never challenge the law - or understand that it can be challenged - she slipped into fads and her old ways - but still returned back to the ocean when she felt its call:

Confessor: one day within the vast ocean she saw something floating - was it melting? How much more time was left for her to see? is it me that I see? She called to it: I have ignored you - shamed you and tamed you with tools of rejection, fear, perfection, assumption - I can repress you no longer. Are you me?

Narrator: It technically was not - but was - and it talked to her - saying:

Other: I was you - afraid - jealous - unmovable - unmelted - guarded - haunted - from my protector, my mother, my killer, my shomeret, from the star we perceive in the sky: the sun - until I gave up - broke down - these walls - put them away - admitted my superficiality - saw the ego I wear - confronted my whiteness - decided to heal my pain - released my stomach - wore less make-up - realized the creations - designed as protections - are now destructions of ourselves - read the multiple meanings of words like protect - saw how I was controlling others around me - by assuming their characters - and learned how some voices are stifled as others are stronger - and why trust is not the same amongst us - we have lost too much - felt too much - hid so much - to be alone - when there is too much - to be gained 

I let the sun - melt me away - slowly joining - the parts of me, us - I had pushed away - the water - took it - combined it - I became the other - it stung - we aged - I wave to you - because of love and pain - I have been in you - every day - it is okay - to be afraid -

do you remember what it’s like to wake up and not know where you are because you were engrossed in a dream. I do. I hate it. I desperately try to hold onto the dream - like it’s a ring dropped down the garbage disposal - you’re reaching desperately but you know time will soon be up - before you can go any further - and then you have to wake up - sometimes the dreams are much better than what we wake up into - the dreams contain narratives in which we feel in control - as if things are happening to us rather than us watching things happen around us - or in some dreams I’m in love or having sex - it’s as if my needs are being fulfilled in sleep - I promise not to forget the images I want to hold onto - the mysterious images that could be clues to bigger things - but they usually fade away - sometimes they don’t - sometimes the images are so distrubing and memorable that they stay with me forever - but sometimes the images come to me during that day - or weeks later - and for a second during my awakeness - I do not know where I am - how did the dream land come into my consciousness? Is it real? Were you real? Are you dead? Why can’t we go back to the space between two doors?

Narrator: And it was no more - but they say - it grew inside her - when she walked into the ocean - and the part of her lips met the ocean’s surface - they met in balance - the air - the ocean - her lips - the sun - the walls - and evolution became a choice - progression - stopped - she remembered the parts of her life - in which she thought about her self - and how she wanted to kill her self- and maybe that desire was a cry for not feeling worthy - in a world that demands the best - rewards survival to the best - allows cheaters to get the best - punishes those who are not the best - creates a culture where we are afraid - enslaves and manipulates in the pursuit of being the best - 

she swallowed the ocean - the salt - once - twice - a thousand gulps - and she became more parts - the rain - the snow - the ice - the lakes - the nourishment of greenery - she could not change it all - but she could infiltrate - and she could mutate - she could heal DNA.

They said that the land she lived in believed in survival of the fittest. but she said just cuz darwin said it and people believed it - doesnt mean - that we have to continue to live it

Chorus: Control . Awareness. Passing. Phases. Luck