#the lingering feeling of this one has always stuck with me more than the quick scare swan table | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

astraystayyh · 8 months

Text

Volcano

pairing : han x reader. enemies to lovers. slow burn.

summary : you've never gotten along with han, your mutual prejudices ruining any prospect of friendship between you both. but you slowly realize that you are more similar than what you originally thought- your darkness recognizing his, and his light yearning for yours.

"I'll take care of you. It's rotten work. Not to me, not if it's you."

cw : depiction of a panic attack, minor injury, both reader and han say mean shit to each other, cursing, mention of alcohol, reader has she/her pronouns.

word count : 13.2k

a.n: highly recommend listening to "Let the light in" by Lana when Han starts playing it in the fic hehe feedback is highly appreciated as always <3

skz quotes series masterlist.

You remember being seven years old, sitting on the floor of your bedroom, while your mom brushed your hair. It was a late July night, a cold breeze swaying your white curtains, akin to the fluttering of a butterfly’s wing. Your eyes were slightly puffy, delicate red veins protruding the white of them. You had just finished watching a Disney movie- the Lion King; heavy sobs escaping your lips when Mufasa died.

There were still faint hiccups coursing through you, a slight shake in your hands as you fiddled with the hem of your shirt. Your mom brought you to her chest, her chin resting on your small shoulder blade. "You’re sensitive, my sweet girl" she had uttered, rubbing your arms soothingly.

It was the first time someone described you as such. You didn’t know what ‘sensitive’ entailed exactly, but it contained the word ‘sense’, so you assumed it was something good, a quality to be proud of you. You could sense, maybe more than others, maybe too deeply. That’s why you cried when you didn’t get a good grade, or when your friends left you alone in the park.

But you didn't mind back then. What was your heart made for if not to feel?

You should’ve paid more attention to the way your mom spoke, to the bittersweetness lingering in her tone. As if she knew exactly what it entailed to be sensitive- to have your heart overflow with delicate feelings for the rest of your life, with no safe destination to guard them in.

☄༄

You’ve forgotten the last time you cried in.

The tears are lodged inside your throat- you can clearly feel them, an uncomfortable weight sitting on your vocal cords, rendering them impossible to use.

You used to cry, freely, so much that you lost count of how much it happened. But you realized that every tear that escaped your eyes, made you vulnerable, weaker, in the hands of the people around you. Every tear that washed over you, only rendered you more transparent for everyone to peer at how they wounded your soul.

So, you conditioned yourself to stop feeling as deeply, or at least to stop showing it. The sadness, the hurt, the anger were all stored within you; but your face remained placid, not betraying how you truly felt. You were like a pond, tranquil at the surface, raging from within.

But on days like this one, you miss the person you were. When the implications of being sensitive still haven’t weighed down on you. When you could get rid of your feelings in the essence of your tears. When you didn’t yet feel bad for feeling.

Chan's eyes are on you, as you type furiously on your laptop. Your vision is so blurry that you can no longer see your lit screen. But you’re afraid that if you pause then Chan would ask if you were okay, and you hated that question. Because you never truly knew the answer to it. Yes, you were okay. But you haven’t cried in six months and your friend didn’t greet you back this morning and you suddenly feel very small in a very large library.

"Hey," Chan taps your hand with his pen and you suck in a slight breath, before raising your head to meet his eyes. "Are you-" he starts but you’re quick to cut him off, knowing exactly where this was headed. "Did you answer question five? I’m stuck on what formula to use."

Chan raises a brow at you, and you blink repeatedly. His eyes travel to your feet tapping furiously against the floor, and he understands.

"I'm still at number four," he finally says and you nod in relief. You’ve been close friends for a year and Chan has come to know you- he’s dropping the subject.

"Oh, and are you coming to the party tonight?" Chan asks, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He’s hosting it and there is hope twinkling in his eyes. You feel bad because you’re about to crush it.

"No, need to revise more for the upcoming test."

"Of course, you’ll still be buried in your books," a sarcastic voice quips up, and you stiffen inwardly. Han- one-third of 3racha, Chan’s self-made producing group, and the bane of your existence. You never liked who you were around Han, he brought out the worst in you. Made all your insecurities roar forward, plastered across your body in neon red.

He was friends with Chan, long before you came into the picture, back into their high school days when Han skipped a class and ended up in the same one as Chan’s. A genius, as everyone around you liked to call him. And they were right- excelling came easily to Han, in everything he ever did. Even tapping into each one of your tender nooks and crannies.

He knew how to expertly push your buttons, how to make his tone sound mocking, and taunting, but only to you. Because you were sensitive, and he knew it, finding it almost amusing to toy with you.

You decide to stay silent because nothing good ever comes out of talking back to him. So, you bite your tongue, turning back to look at your screen. But Han’s elbow grazes your arm, as he leans a bit further into your face. "Come on, live a little, y/n. You’re missing out on the college experience," he makes a big show of opening his arms wide, a single red pen spinning between his fingers. "Quit being stuck up for one night." And it spins, and it spins, and it spins and something ugly inside you crumbles.

"I’m sorry I wasn’t born with a golden spoon shoved down my throat and I actually have to work for my future."

Han’s eyes widen at the raw animosity in your voice, before narrowing down promptly. He’s leaning onto your face again, and his tone is low and cold when he speaks again. "What did you just say to me?"

"Is it so hard to grasp that not everyone is as privileged as you? We can’t all afford to get wasted every fucking night and call it a life."

You’re being mean. This is the rudest you’ve ever been to someone else. You know that your reaction is disproportionate to what he said. But it isn’t just about this instant. It’s an amalgam of every moment Han made you feel small in, because you don’t go out as much as him, because you don’t understand as quickly as him. Taunts thrown your way under the guise of teasing, but you know better.

Still, guilt eats at you as your eyes lock with Chan’s. You should’ve stayed silent, as you’ve been diligently doing for the past year.

"How do you stand being her friend Chan? Is it out of pity?" Han muses, a pout pulling at his lips. You stare ahead as Han tsks lightly, before tapping your cheek with his pen, bringing your face back to him. "I think it is. Because isn’t she so fucking boring?"

Being near Han always makes you hyper-aware of things you never noticed before. Like how a breath has to travel from the depths of your body so you’d be able to release it, and how excruciatingly long it takes for you to draw in a new one. Because Han’s words are never harmless, no, they settle on the confines of your lungs, crushing down any bit of oxygen willing to leave you.

You've had enough.

"When you’re eighty, on your deathbed, and all alone. I hope you know that there is no one around to blame but yourself."

"Don’t cross the line, yn," Chan finally speaks and you scoff, as you get up to grab your things.

"What fucking line, Chan? So, he can insult me all day but as soon as I do it there is a line? Why are you taking his side?"

Chan stays silent and you chuckle dryly. "Of course, you are. You’re only friends with me out of pity after all."

"That’s not true-"

"Well, you didn’t deny it, did you Chan?"

"Yn, I-"

"Save it."

Han’s eyes are glossy as you take one final glance at him. But your heart’s bleeding too much for you to care about his minor cut.

☄༄

For how much time can a conversation haunt someone? Seventeen days, for your case. And you're still counting.

You have nit-picked your fight with Han in the library so much that it's driving you insane. His voice is drilled into your head- the coldness of it as he reeled back from the shock of your words, and then, the pure venom dripping from his tone, as he attacked you where it hurt the most. Chan.

Han chose his words carefully, stitched up the sentence perfectly to hurt you, to stick to your flesh like burnt skin, one that you peeled over and over, each time it threatened to scar.

You haven't talked to Chan in seventeen days. He tried to stop you; on your way out of class, in the line of your campus cafeteria, on the doorsteps of your dorm. But you always fleet away. His eyes were also imprinted into your brain- the disappointment in them when you clapped back at Han.

What about him? You wanted to yell. Why are you only disappointed in me?

But the tears in your pillow have dried. Then fallen again. Then dried once more. And you found the answer to question five. And you miss Chan, terribly so.

That's why you're pacing around his dorm, at 10 pm, when it's also terribly cold outside. Your fingers have gone numb from the ministrations of the wind, but you don't move from your place. You know that the chances of seeing Han- the second person you’ve been avoiding like the plague- would be higher here. But you didn't care anymore.

Your thumb hovers over the call button and you bite your lip harshly. Would Chan pick up? Would he hang up? Was he really your friend out of pity?

"Yn?" a voice calls out, and you startle, turning around to see who it is. Changbin, carrying two bags of groceries in his hand. He's Chan’s friend as well, the final member of 3racha. You like Changbin. He's always being very kind to you. You've grown much closer to him than to Han in the past few months; not that the latter has ever wanted a friendship with you. From the day you met and his eyes narrowed promptly each time you talked. You should’ve known from the start.

"Why are you out here in the cold?" Changbin asks gently, stepping cautiously towards you.

"Chan," you say simply and he nods, understanding what you mean.

"He's not here now, but he'll come home soon. Let's go inside, okay?" he smiles tentatively at you and you hum in reply.

Changbin opens the door and you follow inside. You help him take out the groceries silently, stacking them in their fridge and shelves. Lots of protein powder, and chicken packets. You'd laugh about it if you weren't so sad.

"Chan misses you," Changbin speaks up suddenly, and your heartbeat quickens at his words.

"I miss him too."

"Then you'll be okay."

You try to remember Changbin’s reassuring smile when Chan finally opens the door to the dorm, an hour later. He finds you sitting on the stool in the kitchen. His eyes light up once they settle on you.

And you unravel at the sight.

You're crying, sobs rippling from you as he brings you to his chest. He's patting your head and whispering that it's okay. And you know his shirt is all crumpled from clutching it in your hands. But he doesn't mind. He only hugs you tighter.

"I'm sorry, yn. So, so, sorry. I should've stopped him before, I just... You two are my best friends and I didn't want to add fuel to the fire by talking and-"

"It's okay, it's okay, I'm the one who should apologize for ghosting you."

"I understand why you did it. I fucked up but I missed you so much. Can we please never do this again?”

“Yes please,” you giggle, but the sound withers as the door opens once again.

"What is she doing here?" a cold voice breaks you and Chan apart, as your eyes land on Han. His gaze sucks the breath out of you, and the warmth in your heart fizzles out. Your hold on Chan’s shirt tightens and he takes an unconscious step in front of your body. Han doesn't miss the protective gesture.

"Get out, yn."

"You don't get to kick my friends out of my house," Chan is angry. And you regret ever coming here.

"Last I checked it's my house too." Han doesn't even bother looking at you. He's holding Chan’s gaze as if they're silently communicating. "You know damn well what she said why-" he takes a deep breath, running a hand angrily through his hair. "Fuck this. If she's not leaving then I am."

And with that he storms out, slamming the door behind him. You flinch at the sound.

Chan’s eyebrows are knitted as he stares at where Han stood seconds ago as if trying to conjure him up once again. You never wanted to strain their friendship. You knew how much Han cared for Chan, even if he didn't bear the same sentiment for you.

"Chan, I’ll leave. Call Han and tell him I'm gone."

"You don't have to."

"I know," you reassure, placing your hand on his forearm. "We'll talk more later, okay? It's cold and he has nowhere to go. Just call him, please."

"Fine," Chan concedes. "Call me when you get home, alright?" his eyes finally soften and you squeeze his hand in reply, before heading out as well.

The walk from Chan’s dorm to yours is fairly short, but tonight, it seems like kilometers are separating you from the safety of your bed. There is a heavy weight crushing your bones, most of it being guilt at what just transpired between Chan and Han.

That's what comes with being sensitive- you bear the weight of your feelings and the one of those surrounding you.

Were you out of place with what you said to Han? Yes. Was it eating you inside to see the consequences of your words? Yes. But he was also to blame, you repeated in your head. He was also to blame. Please. You plead, you don't know to whom, maybe to the voice in your head to stop being so mean. 'But none of this would've happened if you weren't so sensitive. So easy to bruise' the voice mocks and you stumble on your feet.

It happens so suddenly it takes you off guard- the way the breath is knocked out of you. You pause, chest heaving as you bend down slightly. Your hand is on your heart as you try to breathe again, but it's shaking so much. Your legs give out under you, and you plop down on the floor, eyes tightly shut. You can't breathe. You can't breathe. You're going to pass out.

"Yn, what-" A hand rests on your shoulder but you shake it off. You don't want to be touched. Not by him.

"Let me help-" Han speaks again, and you scramble away from him, as best as you can anyway. You end up kneeling on the ground once again, your back to him. "Get-get away."

"I know you're mad but you aren't okay and I know how horrib-"

"You aren't helping!" you shout through tears, as your heart threatens to spill out of your throat. "You’ve hurt me e-enough already."

You don't remember how you got home that night, how you managed to open the door or cross the road leading to your dorm. But you remember Han leaving you on the cold ground, just like you wanted. You remember the ache in your bones as you laid on your bed; the burning desire to stop feeling for a night, to cut your chest open and tear off your bleeding heart.

☄༄

One month later

If there's one thing you've always complained to Chan about, it's the fact that his building had an elevator in it, unlike yours.

Today, you’ve come to regret this fact. Tremendously.

You’ve been avoiding going to Chan’s dorm for the past weeks since the last thing you wanted was to see Han. But, he insisted on you coming over, reassuring you that it would only be him and Changbin at home since Han supposedly had other plans.

Well, Chan was wrong. Because Han just walked into the elevator you are in, mere moments before its doors closed.

Your breath catches in your throat as his eyes lock on yours. He looks like he wants to say something but he decides against it, opting for sighing loudly instead, before pressing the button leading to the fourth floor, rather harshly.

Your need to flee has never been this strong.

You watch anxiously as the numbers slowly go up. 1… 2… 3… Then a loud voice startles you and the elevator starts to shake in place. The door is suddenly opened and you are met with a cement wall, blocking your exit.

"What the fuck?" Han groans as you press the emergency button repeatedly, hoping that the elevator will resume its course and this nightmare will be forgotten.

It doesn’t.

"You’re going to break the goddamn button," Han pushes your hand away and you stumble away from him.

"Can you shut up? I’m not in the mood for your bullshit."

"Does it look like I’m happy to be here?" Han scoffs, as a ringtone plays in the elevator, cutting you off before you could respond.

"Hey guys, this happens from time to time, so no need to worry. Is everyone alright?" Someone speaks and you assume it's the worker charged with the maintenance of the elevator.

"Yes," you both reply at the same time.

"Great. We’ve contacted the mechanics but they said there’s a lot of traffic, so it might take a bit longer for them to get here."

"How long?" Han asks the question that’s on your mind as well.

"Two hours, at most, for you to get out."

"Oh, for fuck’s sake," you groan, as hot tears prickle at the corner of your eyes. This is the last thing you needed today- to be stuck in a cramped-up space with the one person who sucks the oxygen out of any room you’re in.

"Thanks, man," Han sighs and you turn your back to him, facing the wall. You’ve had a horrible day, scratch that, a horrible week. Hanging out with Chan and Changbin was the one thing you were looking forward to, only for the worst possible scenario to happen- being stuck in the same place with Han. You feel an urgent need to sob but you can’t cry in front of him. Not when he’s all claws and your skin is tender.

"Wait, are you claustrophobic?" He suddenly asks, seemingly inches away from your body.

"As if you’d fucking care," you scoff, before heading to a corner of the elevator and settling down.

"I'm not a monster, you know," he mutters in an almost sad tone, one that forces you to look up at him. His hands are deep into his pockets, eyebrows knitted as he gazes down at you. "Do you really think I’m that much of an asshole?"

"Yes," you reply instantly, before staring forward again. The hurt that flashes in his eyes shouldn’t tug at your heartstrings, but it does, ever so faintly, like the last wave that grazes your feet as you get out of the ocean. "I’m not claustrophobic," you add after a while and Han finally sits on the opposite side from you.

It’s hot and stuffy in the elevator, and it’s quiet, too quiet for your liking. You’ve never really liked silence for too long, it made the small voice in your head only grow bolder, louder, impossible to ignore.

Thirty-five excruciatingly long minutes go by and the tension only grows more suffocating. It’s simmering, barely beneath the surface, waiting for the person who will finally make it explode.

It’s Han.

“Can I ask you something?”

“No.”

“Come on, we have nothing else to do.”

“Have you tried being silent?”

"Yn," he says sternly and you begrudgingly concede. "Fine. Ask me."

You imagine him smirking slightly, the way he does each time he manages to push you over the edge.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

“We’re not doing this right now,” you shake your head, tone adamant.

"When’s a better time for it? We’re literally never in the same place."

“And whose fault that is?” You smile too sarcastically and he frowns. “So, I’m the only one to blame?”

“Can’t you see how full of yourself you are? Fuck, Han, this is exactly what I hate about you.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“You’re so immature, you never sit back to think of how your words might impact someone.”

"What words yn? I was teasing you!" his voice grows louder and so does yours. "You were hurting me!" you yell, chest heaving. There is something utterly terrifying in this confession- to let someone know how easy it was for them to get to you.

"But I didn’t mean to," he drags a hand through his hair, exasperated. "It's not my fault you felt that way."

An ironic chuckle leaves your lips, as you point at him. "See, you're doing it again! You're blaming me for my reaction instead of evaluating how your actions might have caused it."

"Look, yn," he scrambles to you until there are only a few centimeters separating your bodies. "I really wanna fix this, okay? Can we stop screaming?"

"Why are you so hellbent on fixing it?" you question, as you lean further away from him. He notices and takes a step back, giving you space.

"Because although I don't care about you, I care about Chan. And this is hurting him. So, I want to be civil with you."

The mention of Chan feels like a cold bucket of water dousing the fire within you. You know he’s struggling to be in the middle of two people he loves. He doesn’t deserve that.

"Fine," you sigh softly. “You talk. I’ll listen.”

"I didn't... I didn't know that my words would hurt you. In truth, it looked like you weren't affected at all. That's why I kept pushing you because… God Yn you're so perfect it maddens me."

Your eyebrows knit together at his words- the last thing you expected to stumble out of his mouth. "What are you talking about?"

"You never get sad, never get angry. Your emotions are always in check. You're always smiling, always laughing. Have everything figured out from how you want to be now to where you want to be in the future. And you know yourself, you never step out of order. And this is selfish and stupid but it irked me. Because I am the opposite of you. I'm a mess and too human it terrifies me, so I wanted to see if you had a breaking point. But each time I taunted you, you remained placid. So, I kept pushing to see if you'd break one day because, selfishly enough, that would make me feel better about how broken I am."

"Han, you're so stupid. Aren't you a literal genius? You excel in everything you do and you have fun on top of it, every single night. Don't you realize how lucky you are?"

"Do you really believe I find joy in being wasted and not even remembering what happened that night? I do that because I'm in my mind most of the days and it isn't the best place to be in. So, I like to forget."

“Why do you think I always bury myself in my studies? Because it's safe and it makes me forget too. Did you really think I didn’t feel? I feel too much and that’s the problem.”

Han remains silent as you curse under your breath. "Do you even realize how selfish this is? To test a human's breaking point? All because what? I didn't shove my struggles down your nose? Would you go around and do this to everyone who looked fine to you?"

"I know, I know, I was just in a bad place, and this isn't an excuse but I... I felt as if you were just showing me everything that was wrong with me."

"That is how I felt around you," you chuckle bitterly and he hangs his head low. He’s much quieter when he speaks again. “I guess we’re more similar than I thought.”

"Doesn't excuse what you did. You targeted me and made me feel insane because no one was hearing the hostility in your tone like I did."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I really am. I never thought it'd get this bad and I deserve every name you called me."

"You do." You close your eyes, as Han’s words wash over you. There is so much more you want to say, so much you want to spit out in his face because of his selfish coping mechanism. But you also want peace, for Chan’s sake. So, you try to bury your resentment, just like you do with every other feeling. One day it’ll turn into indifference. You’ll make sure of it.

You bite your lip, before clearing your throat. Your tone is softer when you speak again. "I'm sorry for what I told you in the library. About you dying alone and whatnot. That wasn't nice of me."

"You really hit the nail with that one," Han chuckles quietly, and guilt floods your heart at the expression on his face. "And I'm sorry for calling you boring. You aren't. And for everything I said before that."

"Okay. It's okay." You reassure, a tiny smile drawn on your lips.

He nods before a sly grin grows on his face. "Should we hug it out?" he teases, cocking an eyebrow at you and you stare pointedly at him. "Don't push your luck."

"Yes, ma'am."

An hour later, the mechanics finally manage to get the elevator going, which in turn allows you both to get out. Han opens the door to the dorm, and you find Chan lying on the couch, scrolling down his phone.

"Han? I thought you would..." he starts before trailing off as he looks up. "Yn? Where were you, I’ve been calling you for the past two hours."

"I didn't have signal."

"Why where were-" Chan goes to question before stopping once again. He hurriedly stands up and walks toward you.

"You... Are standing next to one another."

"We are," Han replies, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.

"And you aren't... Fighting?" his statement comes out more like a question, which makes both you and Han chuckle.

"We aren't."

"We talked it out, in the elevator which we were both just stuck in," you add and Chan’s eyes grow wide, as a breathtaking smile breaks out on his face.

"Oh my god. Finally. We'll talk about the elevator bit later but it's been so hard trying not to be in the same place as the both of you."

"We know. We're sorry," you both pout in sync and Chan shakes his head, before opening his arms wide. You giggle, before walking to him and sinking into his embrace. Han follows you shortly after, and your eyes meet behind Chan’s back. He shoots you a tiny thumbs up.

Is this how a dandelion feels, you wonder, when someone blows on it in the hopes it'll grant their selfish wishes. Only to be tossed away afterward, lifeless.

You drown out the thought before smiling back at Han. It doesn’t reach your eyes.

☄༄

Befriending two-thirds of 3racha holds within it a lot of privileges. The first one is listening to unreleased music, the second is having exclusive insight into their upcoming performances.

Their gigs don't happen as often as they'd like, because they're still students who unfortunately have lots of assignments. But when a window of free time materializes, they unveil their latest productions at vibrant parties, dimly lit bars, or even the occasional club. Which attracts a lot of people, some even coming from neighboring towns to listen to them play.

Everyone can recognize raw talent, even if rap doesn't happen to be their favorite genre.

This is how you know that they'll be performing Heyday, their latest creation, at Seungmin’s party. You've met him in passing, and Chan insisted that you'd come. Not that you needed much convincing anyway, you fell in love with this song the minute you heard it.

There is an exhilarating energy in Seungmin’s mansion, a palpable anticipation preceding 3racha’s performance, as you all gaze at the makeshift stage. The place is packed, bodies pressed tightly to one another. You feel slightly uncomfortable but you swallow it down. You're here to support Chan first and foremost, you can leave if things become too much for you.

The introductory chords materialize abruptly, and 3racha takes the stage. Chan is clad in a white shirt with huge gaps on his sides, revealing glimpses of his chest each time he bends down. Changbin, on the opposite end of the spectrum, is wearing a tightly fitted black shirt, hugging each muscle of his to perfection. Han, the last one to walk in, sports a loose black shirt, with a low neckline. His nails are painted to match the color of his attire, you notice.

The song kicks off with Changbin's incendiary rap as deafening cheers ring all around you. You make sure to scream on top of your lungs too, as Changbin’s loud voice commands the attention of everyone in the room. You’ve always held a penchant for his rap style- how powerful he sounds, and how addicted you quickly become to hearing him on stage. You remember once telling him that any song that starts with his rapping is a successful hit. He playfully nudged your shoulder but his appreciative smile was hard to miss.

Chan’s part is next and you try to rap along, as best as you can anyway due to your fleeting memory. It sounds mostly like gibberish but you don’t mind, especially when your eyes meet Chan’s and he grins at you, before morphing into the mesmerizing stage persona that's peculiar to him. You clearly remember the first time you witnessed him on stage, and how enthralled you were by the sheer power he exuded. His destiny was intertwined with music, no one could deny that.

A bed squeaking sound comes next, followed by the knocking on the door and you giggle against your will. That was Han’s ingenious touch, as Chan had shared when you'd raised a quizzical brow at him while listening. “Is this based on a real-life experience?” You asked, a knowing smirk etched upon your features, and he pretended to zip his mouth, earlobes turning a vibrant shade of crimson.

Han finally starts rapping in his inimitable style, exuding an effortless, laid-back aura. Your gazes meet at the "let's go play" line, and he tilts his head quizzically at you as he utters his confused "huh?". You raise one eyebrow at him prompting a sly smirk from him, before redirecting his attention to the opposite side of the stage. Yet, your eyes remain on him throughout his entire part.

The boys step off the stage, and you watch from the corner of the room with a wide grin as a swarm of people surrounds them. Congratulations and praise fill the air, and you can tell that 3racha thrives on this moment- it's what they live for, what makes their souls rise up from the ashes.

Chan catches your eye, and you applaud enthusiastically, letting out a happy giggle. He blows you a kiss, and you playfully pretend to catch it, eliciting a small shake of his head. Changbin, who's standing near him, catches the exchange and winks at you from a distance, to which you respond with two thumbs up.

Even though you're a bit far from them, you're certain the boys can sense the pride radiating from you in waves. There's something truly magical about humans existing in their element, particularly people you care about.

Your gaze shifts to Han, and your smile falters slightly. He's also glowing, but signs of discomfort are starting to creep onto his face. You recognize them fairly well, as you've felt them too at times when emotions become overwhelming. So, after a brief internal debate, you decide to act and begin making your way toward him, pushing through the crowd despite the rising complaints behind you.

They fall on deaf ears.

You grab Han's forearm, pulling him with you through the sea of bodies toward the bathroom. He doesn't fight, following diligently behind you. You open the door and pull him inside, pausing as you realize you don't have a specific plan for bringing him here. This is also the first time you've been alone together since the elevator conversation.

"Thank you," Han whispers, and you nod, your eyes softening. "I'm okay, I love performing, I just needed a breather," he quickly adds, as if feeling guilty for being overwhelmed.

"That's completely understandable. You are running on a lot of adrenaline, and the room is so crowded," you say with a smile, turning to the mirror to touch up your makeup.

Han remains silent for a while as you powder your face, before reapplying your cherry lip gloss. You can hear him taking in deep breaths, and you avoid looking at him, worried he might feel embarrassed.

"What did you think of the performance?" he finally asks, and you raise your head slightly. You lock eyes with him through the mirror, as he leans against the door, arms crossed in front of his chest. His black t-shirt falls a bit, revealing more of his bare skin, and your eyes trail down for a moment.

"It was really good. I think this song might be my favorite of all yours."

"Really?" Han grins, his words filled with an excitement that warms your heart despite yourself. He's just received heaps of compliments from hundreds of people, yet your words still seem to affect him deeply.

"Yes. I loved your rap, how it started in a laid-back manner, and then you cleared your throat and picked up the pace. It added a unique edge to the song."

"Thank you, really," his smile is genuine, and you giggle softly, shaking your head.

"What's funny?" he asks, walking up to you. You're still facing the mirror, and he's now only inches away from you.

"I didn't imagine you'd appreciate my compliment this much."

"It feels sincere," he shrugs and you nod, finally turning around and leaning against the sink.

"It is sincere."

"Good."

You hold his gaze, eyes only trailing down to go across his face. He looks far different from how he did on stage. Shier, more eager for praise.

"You have..." he steps up until the scent of his cologne tickles your nose. His hand raises ever so slowly to your face, and you hold your breath, as he picks up something from your cheek. His hands are warm.

"An eyelash fell. Make a wish."

A surprised chuckle escapes your lips. "You wish on fallen lashes?"

"You wish on everything when you need hope." his voice is low, a timber so foreign to your ears it sends shivers down your spine. So, you close your eyes, wishing for your heart to quit beating so fast.

"Done," you whisper and he blows the single lash away, his gaze still on you.

"Thank you for coming."

"Of course. I had to support Chan and Changbin." It slips from your mouth before you can stop it, and Han slightly recoils from your words.

"Right, them. Yeah. Of course," he finally backs away, and oxygen fills your lungs once again. "I'm good now. Should we go out?"

"After you," you nod tightly and he walks ahead first, his perfume trailing after him and pulling you into a dizzying dance.

☄༄

The party Seungmin hosted was your last time having fun for a while. Your preparation for midterm exams began soon after, and you found yourself swarmed with assignments left and right. Thankfully, you and Chan were going through it at the same time, which meant you met at the library each day, revising silently near one another.

Except this time, you were joined by Han.

Goosebumps ran across your skin as he pulled the chair next to you, not the good kind of shivers. You were reminded of the fight you had right here, three months ago. Which still left a bitter taste in your mouth.

You don't hate Han anymore. He's actually funny, and you enjoy listening to his ramblings when you go over to Chan's dorm. He's also really different in his home, much quieter, and softer. Much more like you.

But you're also human, and there is still a part of your brain sending off warning signals at his presence. Maybe because the hurt was never buried properly. You just brushed it off under the carpet after your elevator conversation. Most of it was spent shouting anyway.

"Hey," he greets and you just nod in reply. You can feel his gaze linger on you a bit after that, and a pang of guilt twists in your heart. "Hi," you finally reply, but you tune out his response. Why is it that you're sensitive to everyone's emotions but your own?

Twenty minutes go by, then forty, and you can no longer take the uncomfortable feeling clinging to your skin. So, you excuse yourself, hurriedly stepping out of the library.

Han follows you; you can tell it’s him because someone's chair scraped loudly against the floor as soon as you stood up, and that couldn't be Chan because he is always careful with the silence in the library. So, you put on your headphones and walk faster.

This is childish, surely it is, but you can't control your emotions. You've apologized and so did he, you talk from time to time and you even held his arm and took him to a quiet bathroom. So where is all this bitterness coming from?

"Dammit, yn, how are you so fast?" Han grabs your arm pausing you. He's panting slightly and you just blankly stare as he takes in a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" he finally asks and you nod, turning around to walk away. He stops you again.

"I made you uncomfortable, didn't I?" he asks quietly, and you sigh, rubbing your forehead wearily.

"You didn't do anything, I just... Being in that library reminded me of certain things."

"I know. Me too. Can we please talk?"

"We are talking," you raise your brows and he stares pointedly at you. "Come on you know what I mean."

"Fine," you giggle, "we can talk."

"I didn't apologize properly to you in the elevator. Truth is, I did it because Chan was mad at me and I couldn't stand it anymore."

The bitterness- you understand where it comes from now.

"But I am sorry. Truly sorry. I was selfish and I hurt you and this will sound like a joke, but I hate hurting people. I really do. I was just too wrapped up in my problems that I didn't realize how it would affect you and I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I also shouldn't have tried to kick you out that day, but dying alone is my biggest fear, and seeing you in my home made me want to lose my mind because I couldn't get what you said out of my head, but it was so cold outside and again I shouldn't have told you to go out and I am so sorry-"

"Han, breathe," you smile, cutting him off and Han sucks in a deep breath, chest slightly heaving from talking uninterrupted for a minute straight.

"I'm sorry I just wanted to apologize, properly this time. I'm doing it because I'm guilty, not because of Chan. Nothing excuses my behavior, I know. And I wish I could turn back in time and actually get to know you because you're really cool and very nice, but I can't. All I can do is apologize. So I'm sorry, Yn. I really am."

"I appreciate it," you smile, and Han exhales a little from relief. "I didn't know that was your biggest fear, but even if it wasn't, that was uncalled for. I shouldn't have said something so mean. So, I'm sorry for it too. But I'm not apologizing for being mad, you deserved that."

"I did, I did, I know." He's quick to agree. "I don't want us to be awkward around one another. I'm not telling you that you have to be my best friend but, we can be friends, right? But you also don't have to. It's enough if you forgive me and... You know what? Never mind forget I said anything, I'm just nervous and-"

"Okay."

"Okay?" he repeats.

"We can be friends. I accept your truthful apology."

"Actually?"

"Yes."

"Like we can start over?" he grins and you chuckle at the excitement in his face. "Yes."

"Can we hug it out?"

"Too soon," you pout and he nods, a faint blush dusting his cheek.

"Right. Should we go back to the library? I saw that you were stuck on a question. I can help you."

"You won't make any comments?"

"No. Pinky promise." he outstretches his pinky towards you and you muse over it for a bit, before wrapping your finger around his. You grin at Han- your first genuine smile since he's known you. His hold on your pinky falters.

"Okay. I'm in."

.☄༄

Five weeks later- 1:13 a.m.

You were still slightly cautious near Han as if you were both threading along an invisible line. You could talk, but not too much, afraid any old animosity would shine through. And you could stay together, but not too long, in case it gets awkward and you wouldn't know what to do. So, you never mixed, just like water and oil, each of you knowing their place, away from the other.

But you still didn't want to miss out on outings with your friends. So, when Chan invites you for a movie night with Han, and Changbin, you don't say no.

The night runs smoothly, the warm beer you had easing your nerves bit by bit. It was also easier to forget that you once hated Han when he brought tears to your eyes from laughing so hard.

2:56 a.m.

An unbearable heat suddenly envelopes you, your very blood boiling from within. You hesitantly look down, to find your entire body bathed in red, as if your skin had melted away, exposing you to the scorching heat embracing your tender flesh.

You are in the heart of a volcano, with lava bubbling dangerously below. Hanging by a frail thread, you dangle over the edge of death.

And then, you plummet.

You startle awake, your heart pounding in your chest, your hand clutching it tightly. Cold sweat clings to your skin, and it takes you a few moments to realize that you're safe, far from the inside of the volcano that had threatened to consume you.

You glance at your phone- 3:43 a.m. You read. It's only been a mere hour since you went to sleep. You don't think you could drift back into slumber.

Dragging a hand tiredly across your face, you walk into the pitch-black kitchen. You pour yourself a glass of water, hoping that the icy drink will cool you down. You are safe.

"What are you-" you startle, dropping the glass and spinning around, hand pressed to your heart.

"Han, fuck, you scared me," you sigh, tugging at your hair slightly and he's quick to your side, a string of hushed apologies tumbling from his lips.

"I'm sorry, here let me clean it up," he kneels and you follow suit, grabbing his hands and gently pushing them away. "No, I dropped it, let me clean," you reassure, but your hands are trembling as you pick up the shards of glass, any bit of logic clouded by your racing thoughts.

Your heartbeat's ringing loudly in your ears, you barely register the glass cutting your skin until an uncharacteristic warmth oozes from your hand. Blood.

"Shit," you curse lowly and Han illuminates the place with his phone flashlight. "Did you cut yourself?" he asks and you shake your head, walking over to the sink.

"It's nothing, don't worry."

"Yn, let me see," he's standing behind you, the ghost of his breath grazing your exposed neck.

"Han, really it's-" he cuts you off, grabbing your forearm and walking you over to the couch. He finally turns on the lights before crouching down in front of you.

"Show me?" he asks gently and you're too tired to fight him. You open your palm tentatively, taking a look at your cut for the first time as well. It's not too deep, it won't require stitches. But it's also not shallow, blood oozing from it at a steady rhythm.

Han simply frowns upon gazing at your wound, before walking over to his room. You don't move from your spot, gaze lost into the space before you. What would happen if you never woke up? Would you feel your flesh burning? Bones melting as the searing lava-

"Here," he gently holds your wrist, as his eyes meet yours. "This will hurt a bit. Hold my arm as tight as you want and tell me if it becomes too much, okay?"

"Okay," you simply nod.

He dabs up your cut with a cotton pad soaked in alcohol. You hiss softly, as the liquid burns your open skin. Han abruptly stops at the sound. "Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry I didn't mean to I just-"

"It's okay," you smile reassuringly, "I can handle it."

Han nods, resuming his treatment. He's even softer this time, if that is even possible. He's careful when he rubs a soothing gel on your cut, before wrapping your palm in a gauze. He can't find a pair of scissors so he cuts it with his teeth, his lips brushing against the back of your hand. You account the warmth you're suddenly feeling to the aftermath of your nightmare.

"Why are you even up?" he finally asks as he settles next to you on the couch, eyes looking up to the ceiling.

"Nightmare."

"You’re okay?" he asks gently and he sounds truly concerned for your well-being. You aren't used to this. To Han acting like a friend to you. But it feels nice to be cared for, so you don't mind him blurring the lines tonight.

"I'm still a little bit scared," you admit sheepishly and Han's eyes soften under the dim moonlight.

"It passed. You're okay now."

"Am I?" you drag a hand tiredly across your face and Han frowns, inching closer to you.

"Is it a recurring dream?"

"Mm. It tires me out."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I just want to forget." 'Help me forget' you want to add, but you decide against it. "Why were you up, anyway?"

"I got inspiration for lyrics so I had to write it down."

"Can you share some with me?" you ask, tone a tad too hopeful. Han catches it and smiles warmly at you.

"Sure. This is probably going to be in the chorus..." he pulls out his phone, heading to his notes app. "This is what I have so far... I let my frustrated screams out hoping that they’d be washed away in the rain. I send it off with a smiling face, down to the last drops left on my fingertips." he pauses, scrolling down a bit more. "I also wrote this; I think it'll be nice in a verse... I’m sure it’ll get better... Just like the earth hardens after the rain and flowers bloom again."

"You're such a talented lyricist Han," you whisper in awe, and Han’s cheeks warm up at your words, reminiscent of a setting sun. "But I also wish it was as easy as this. To let out all the emotions you bottle inside and for them to wash away with the rain." You bite your lip, as Han’s words echo in your head. "I think... I think that's why I get this nightmare. I don't free my emotions anymore, and they show up in my dreams to torment me."

You don't know where these bouts of honesty are coming from. Maybe because you're too weary to keep up a happy facade. Or maybe because you know that the person who wrote these lyrics must understand exactly how you feel.

"Well... It's raining." Han whispers after a while and you look at him, confusion plastered across your features.

"And?"

"Should we test it out?"

"Test what?"

"Screaming under the rain," he says as if it's the most evident thing in the world.

"What? That's insane, Han we will get sick and..." You pause, as the words dissolve in your mouth like the seafoam meeting the shore. "You know what? Let's do it!"

"Really?" he asks incredulously, a huge grin on his face.

"Yes!"

"Okay, let's go!"

You both abruptly stand up, still only clad in your pajamas. You quickly slip your shoes on before running outside. The rain envelops you in a cold hug as soon as you step outside, rain droplets trickling down your clothes. You don't mind, you have lots of bottled-up feelings to free.

"This needs music," Han smiles as he takes out his phone, putting his playlist on shuffle. 'Let The Light In' starts playing, and you shoot him a thumbs-up.

"It fits the rainy mood," you grin and he nods, squinting his eyes to be able to look at you.

"I think if we scream here, we'll scare the neighbors."

"I know!" you chuckle, wiping away the rain droplets on your forehead. "Where should we go?"

"The empty parking lot!" Han shouts so you'll hear him over the growing rain and you nod. He takes off running and you chase after him. You're both completely drenched once you're a bit far away from the house. But you don't care. Not when there is pure adrenaline rushing through you.

You finally stop, loud giggles escaping your mouth at the thrill of what you're doing. "You should start!" you yell excitedly and Han nods, taking in deep steadying breaths.

"Okay, I'm ready!"

"On the count of three! One... Two... Three!" and Han shouts at the top of his lungs, his screams getting lost in the rain. An incredulous smile breaks out on his face as you giggle loudly, the sound of it ringing out in the downpour.

"You looked insane!"

"I feel insane!" He yells honestly and a fit of laughter takes over you both. You hold his arm to steady yourself.

"You should try it now!" Han urges and you nod, willing yourself to calm down.

"Okay, will you count down for me?"

"Yes," he assures and you clap excitedly. Han can't help but smile at the excitement on your face.

"One... Two... Three!" And you shout, continuous screams spilling from the depths of your soul. Han wasn't wrong- your pain, your fear, your anger are all dripping along the rain droplets, from your bruised heart to the tip of your fingers.

You've never felt this free before.

The two of you don't notice the passage of time, the rain acting as a cathartic release to all your pent-up emotions. It was as if your pain intertwined with each rain droplet, and you were letting go of everything that had held you down. Each scream acted as a break from the burdens of the past, and the worries of the future.

As you finally stopped, panting and soaked to the bone, you looked at each other with raw exhilaration in your eyes.

"So, how was it?" Han yells over the rain and you break out in a relieved smile. "I don't think I’ve ever been this happy my entire life," you beam at him and the sight makes the rain feel less colder to Han.

He watches, a small smile on his face as you twirl around, face looking up toward the sky, a deluge of rain grazing your cheeks like a lover's tender touch. The smile doesn't leave your face as you spin around, happy chuckles leaving your mouth from time to time.

You look... free. As if there was an invisible weight on your shoulders that the rain washed away. A heavy burden that you carried within you, like a secret secret. He likes the sound of that. Maybe that's what he'll name his song.

Han slightly shakes his head as he watches you skip around, clothes completely soaked. You are now standing a bit far away, right beside a street lamp.

Ooh, let the light in

Its light shines on you alone.

Time seems to slow down, as Han’s steps falter. You're smiling, not at him, but at the universe. A happiness so raw filling you that it needs to come out, even if no one's watching.

You're spinning around, delighted giggles spilling from you like the most mesmerizing chorus. Something is building up inside Han, begging for a release. It refuses to come out in a scream- violently. It's tender and soft. He thinks that if you held his hand right now, you'd be able to free it.

Look at us, you and I back at it again

Is it possible to feel something other than an emotion? Because right now, weirdly, all he feels is you.

Cause I love to love to love to love you

I hate to hate to hate to hate you

Your eyes land on Han and there is pure joy dancing in your pupils. He's glad you no longer despise him. He doesn't think he can stomach it anymore.

Cause I want to want to want to want you

You run to him, holding his hand before twirling him around.

I need to need to need to need you

Han can't believe he ever thought you weren't human enough. You are a mosaic of every feeling that makes one human. There are lyrics writing themselves in his head and they're all about you.

Ooh, let the light in

You clasp both his hands, before crossing them over. And then you're both spinning around until the world around you blurs. All he sees is you, and the light surrounding you alone.

Ooh, turn your light on

He thinks he might, if the light is you.

5:22 a.m

"There is a heater in my room, you should come," Han offers as you dry your hair with the blue towel he just handed you.

"It's okay I’ll stay here," you point to the couch but he shakes his head adamantly. "You'll die from hypothermia. Do you know how mad Chan will be if I let you pass away?" he whispers in fear, a hand clutching his heart.

"So dramatic," you giggle, before following him into his room. He goes on his bed first before tapping the spot beside him. You sigh before lying next to him, snuggling further into the hoodie he gave you to change.

"You're still shivering," he remarks, as your teeth clink together.

"It's okay."

"You shouldn't have gone out with just a t-shirt."

"I didn't exactly plan on this, you know," you smile sarcastically and Han chuckles before tapping your shoulder softly.

"Come closer."

You debate for a second before complying, the cold tuning out all the rational thoughts in your head.

Your arm brushes against his and you can't breathe once again. But it's a different type of deprivation. Han always seems to steal the oxygen from your lungs, but for once, you don't mind. Red embers are burning within you and their flames keep you alive. You press your chest to his back, as your forehead rests on his shoulder. Maybe he'll turn you to ashes. Will you rise from them?

"You're so cold," his hand reaches behind to rub your arms soothingly, an earnest attempt to warm you up.

"I’ll be fine, go to sleep. Don't worry about me."

"I can't control it."

In the dark room, Han can't see you curling your hand into a tight fist at his words.

"If you stay quiet then I’ll sleep," you say after a while and Han giggles softly.

"That's the goal. You need to rest."

"You should sleep too."

"I will."

"Okay. Good night, Han."

"Good night, Yn."

You think he's fallen asleep when you speak up again. "Hey, Han."

"Yes, Yn?" He replies instantly, voice slightly hoarse.

"Can you repeat that lyric to me, about the flowers blooming again?" You ask quietly, and you feel him nodding against your chest.

"I’m sure it’ll get better... Just like the earth hardens after the rain and flowers bloom again."

His warm voice vibrates within your body. "That's a nice lyric."

"I hope you'll dream of it instead."

☄༄

Against Han’s strong belief, he's the one who fell sick after your rain-soaked outing.

You knew of it from Chan, who texted you saying that Han caught a nasty cold, and then got food poisoning, which meant he couldn't be there for their highly anticipated meeting—after their electrifying Heyday performance, a record label expressed strong interest in signing them.

"Can you come over and stay with Han?" Chan implores as soon as he answers your call.

“That bad?” You ask, a pout pulling at your lips.

"I don't want to leave him alone. He's been really sick for the past week now, and… it's partly your fault"

"I can’t believe you’re guilt-tripping me into coming," you chuckle even though you know he is right. Han wouldn’t have gotten out in the rain if it wasn’t for you.

"I'm sorry it’s just I don't think he's been good, apart from the illness. And I’m worried, and I don’t know I thought maybe you could talk to him. He reminds me of you, in his sadness, so you might understand what's wrong more than me."

You think it over for a second before rising up from your bed.

"I'm coming"

As soon as you step inside their dorm, Chan pulls you for a side hug, placing a quick kiss on your forehead. “Thank you so much,” he whispers, clearly grateful that you agreed to come. It worries you even more for Han.

“No problem. You can go, I’ll be with him.”

“Thank you, Yn” Changbin smiles before hastily pulling Chan outside the door. You wave them both goodbye.

You cautiously crack open the door to Han’s room, to find it completely engulfed in darkness. The stream of light from the door falls upon Han, who squints his eyes, trying to see who disrupted his fragile peace.

"Hi," you speak softly, finding it a bit odd to raise your voice in such a still room. Han attempts to sit up, before doubling over, hand tightly clutched around his stomach.

You rush to his side, kneeling beside his bed. It's the only lit-up part of the room.

"Still hurts?" you ask, your hand moving in soothing circles on his back. He nods, eyes squeezed shut, and you feel your heart crack at the sight.

"Have you taken any medicine?"

"A few hours ago. I need to eat something before I can take more, but I can't get up to the kitchen."

"Why didn't you tell the boys?"

"Didn't want to be a burden."

"You aren't. I'll make you something to eat. Okay? Try to sleep meanwhile."

"You don't have to," Han shakes his head, his eyes finally meeting yours.

"I know," you smile softly, before exiting the room.

Minutes later, you're back in the room, a bowl of sliced fruit in your hands.

"Do you guys live off protein powder and frozen chicken?" you ask, earning a quiet laugh from Han as he lays his back against the headboard.

"We do. Please save me," he jokes and you laugh, shaking your head. "Good thing I grabbed some fruit before leaving."

"Thank you," he grins, eyes slightly squinting closed.

"Here," you grab a strawberry, bringing it to his lips. His eyebrows raise up in surprise, a sheen layer of sweat coating them. "What? Look at how tightly you're clutching the comforter," you point to his hands and Han sighs, before parting his lips slightly.

His mouth brushes against your fingertips, igniting a cascade of emotions in you. You'll think about what it means later.

You grab a green grape next, feeding it to him gently. A drop of water trickles down the corner of his mouth, and you wipe it away with the back of your finger.

"I can- I can do it," Han mumbles, voice wavering like an unpredictable storm. His trembling hands reach for the bowl, but they struggle to hold it right.

"Han, it's okay, I don't mind," you try to keep your voice gentle, sensing that there is an impending doom awaiting just below the surface.

"No, I- I need to do it. Just let me-" A tear falls into the fruit bowl. "Let me do it, please. I can- I can do it, I’m not useless, I…"

The floodgate opens.

A stream of tears escapes Han's eyes as he looks down at the bowl between his hands. He's crying, eyes tightly shut and the small whimpers escaping his lips feel like a dagger piercing your heart.

"You're sick. Let me take care of you."

"It's horrible horrible work." His voice cracks as his eyes finally lock on yours, and you can tell that his anguish isn't about his illness. These are the words of the shadows threatening to swallow him whole. You have to fight them off with the light.

"I will do it."

As Han lays on his bed, the sound of you washing the dishes resonating from the kitchen, your voice bounces off the dark walls in his head. You didn't try to convince him that it was easy work, you told him you'll do it, even if it's horrible. You'll do it because you want to, not because you can, not because it's accessible. The thought sends a warmth in his chest. It's faint, like a flickering candle trying its best to withstand the wind. But it's there. He holds on to it. He'll shield it with his cupped hands so it wouldn't fizzle out.

"Hannie, you’re okay?" you peer into the room. Hannie- the candle's flame grows higher.

"Mm," he hums, too weak to turn and look at you.

"You're shivering," you remark, and he tightens the blanket around his body. "It'll pass."

You stay silent, and he thinks you've left the room. But then he feels the left side of the bed dip, with you climbing tentatively on it.

"This worked last time when I was cold," you smile softly at him, before bringing his head to your chest and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He feels frail and fragile in your embrace. You hug him tighter to you.

"Warming up?" you ask and he nods against your chest. He's burning.

"Try to sleep," you urge quietly, your hand moving to pat his back. "It will pass."

"What if it doesn't?" Han asks faintly. Please don't let the candle die, he wants to plead.

"There is always light at the end of the tunnel."

"What if the tunnel is closed?"

"Then you go back to the start and find a new one," you respond.

"Can I find it later? I'm so tired tonight." His voice is drowsy, sleep already clinging to his achy bones.

"Just rest for now. You did well," you scratch his back lightly, as he nuzzles further into the crook of your neck.

There was never a candle to begin with- you were the light.

☄༄

Had someone told you five months ago that you'd be lying on Han's bed, watching "Howl's Moving Castle" at 2 a.m., you would've thought they were utterly delusional.

Yet, here you are now.

A lot of things had changed since your rainy outing with Han, as if the universe had shifted into alignment, two stars in the sky finally colliding and making way for something new. You saw him under a different light, understanding that no one picks up a dandelion unless they desperately need the solace it provides.

You've grown to care for him, in the course of the past two months. And funnily enough, you've started to like who you were next to him- just yourself, with no pressure of making conversation, or catering to his expectations of you.

He saw you at your worst anyway, and so did you, there was no use in filtering things anymore.

You've been there through the entire process of writing, composing, and producing Secret Secret- the song whose lyrics had captured your heart. You didn't expect him to ask you to be there with him, he just shot you a text, three days after you came over to his house. 'Wanna be there while I work on the song? I know you liked the lyrics.' It was an offer you couldn't pass up on.

You weren't, in your opinion, much help. Han was gifted in the music realm and song-making flowed naturally from him. But he noticed how interested you were in music, so he called you over each time he worked on the song, even asking for your input at times.

That's why, when the song was finally done and released on 3racha's Spotify account, you decided to celebrate by baking him a cake. You may have dropped an eggshell in the batter (you recovered it later on), and the icing's color turned out less vibrant than what you hoped for. But you managed to adorn it with a garden of little flowers, and with store-bought icing, you wrote the words "after the rain flowers will bloom again."

You showed up to the dorm and Changbin pointed you to Han's room, where he had apparently been holed up all day. You shot him a grateful smile, before pushing the door open with your foot.

"What are you doing here?" Han asked, an incredulous smile drawn on his lips.

"Surprise!" you grinned, pushing the cake his way. "Congrats on making Secret Secret."

"Are you serious?" he chuckled, jumping out of his bed. He peered at the cake, eyes softening as he gazed down at the design.

"You drew a little garden..." he whispered in awe and you nodded, a faint blush creeping up your face.

"I'm glad you recognized what it was. I'm not the best baker," you admit a bit shyly but he shook his head. "It's perfect. I can't believe you did this to celebrate our baby!"

"Your baby," you corrected, although the use of 'our' warmed up your chest, weirdly enough.

"You were here with me every step of the way. She's ours."

"It's a she?" you giggled, and he smiled proudly.

"Mm. Do you accept being her mother?" he mused; hands clasped in front of his heart like he was praying you'd say yes.

"It would be my greatest honor," you nodded solemnly, and he let out a breathy chuckle, grabbing the cake from your hands and setting it on his bed.

"Should we hug it out?" he teased, arms stretched wide but you merely stared at him, unimpressed.

"Come on," he whined, "you can't reject me for the third time. And, in front of our child. On her birthday!" his tone grew louder and you couldn't help but giggle at his mock outrage.

"Try harder."

"Our child won't know what a loving parent relationship is and then she'll seek out unhealthy love from the ones around her and-" you cut him off by finally wrapping your arms around him.

You've always known that being near Han left you breathless, but this time, it felt as though he was breathing life into you. You close your eyes instinctively, as his hold tightens on you. He smells immensely nice, like pinewood and soap. You should've hugged him sooner.

"Thank you," he said quietly, forehead pressed against your shoulder blade.

"You did well," you whisper back.

"We did. She's our child, remember?" he reprimanded and you laughed faintly.

"Yeah, ours."

Hours later, the movie's credits finally roll down, and the finished cake sits idly by Han's desk.

"I should go," you rub your eyes tiredly, and Han stares at you as if you are out of your mind.

"At this hour? Do you want our kid to lose her mom?"

"Han," you drawl, hitting his head with the pillow next to you. "You can't hold me hostage."

"I can, as your husband."

"Since when are we married?"

"Since you agreed to be Secret's mother." Another playful hit to his face.

"Stop attacking my face, how will I get laid then?"

"So, you are cheating on me?" you ask, feigning outrage.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby you're the only one I want." You falter at the nickname before hitting him even harder, matching the tempo of your quickening heartbeat.

"You're crazy," he laughs, grabbing your wrists and pinning you onto the bed. He's hovering over you, eyes hooded with a tender intensity as he gazes down at you.

"Will you stay, please?"

"The couch is uncomfortable," you reply, avoiding his eyes. He lets go of one wrist before holding your chin gently, urging you to look at him.

"You can sleep here. We've done it before."

"You were freezing both times. That's why I did it."

"I'm very cold tonight," he pouts, eliciting a surprised chuckle from you.

"Are you now?"

"Very much so."

"Fine. Only because I don't want you to die from hypothermia."

"Thank you!" he grins excitedly, finally letting go of your wrist. You bring a hand to your flushed cheeks, as he tosses a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants in your direction.

"Get changed! There is a spare toothbrush in the cabinet."

You make sure to groan theatrically, before heading into the bathroom, where you splash your face repeatedly with water. You aren't used to this- being a blushy mess, because of Han, nonetheless. It was dizzying you, how things took the complete opposite turn between you and him.

At least, back then you weren't alone in your hate, you couldn't stand being alone in your affection.

So, you'd stop this, whatever feeling that's coursing through you. Tomorrow, you will firmly close the door on the blooming feelings within you. But tonight, you’d both lay on the same bed, arms brushing against one another. It's completely dark and quiet, but there is an entire symphony playing within you.

"Thank you for today," he whispers, turning around and tucking his arm under his head, this way he's facing you.

You mirror his actions, and your fingertips brush against one another. You can't see him but you can feel him. He's everywhere, wrapping around all your senses.

"Thank you for making this song. It's very comforting to me."

"Why is that?" he questions, inching closer to you, you can feel his minty breath fan all over your face.

"I’ve always felt like I carried too many emotions within me. Like a volcano, bubbling over until the day I explode. I never liked feeling this way, so I tried to hide it," you confess softly.

"Like a secret secret."

"Like a secret secret," you repeat, glad that he understands.

"You don't have to hide with me," he says after a few silent beats, and you swallow nervously.

"I know." you lick your lips as the music inside you grows louder. "Still cold?"

"A little."

"Come closer," you beckon, and he complies instantly, wrapping his arm behind your back and drawing your chest close to his. Your legs entangle with one another, as your face lays on the crook of his neck. It's intimate, far more than any time you've done it before. You don't want to sink in his hold in fear of never resurfacing again.

"Good?" he asks, voice tinged with a newfound raspiness.

"Mm," you hum, and he releases a relieved sigh.

You've once read that everything in this universe sings. Every atom's vibration creates a sound, contributing to a grand celestial chorus. It's an unscientific, but lovely thought, to wonder who our hearts sing for.

Right now, it's for Han.

☄༄

The music echoes through your being, an ever-present melody that refuses to fade into silence. Even with no audience to enjoy it.

Han always found his way back to your side, no matter how many times you've tried to distance yourself from him. And you couldn't bring yourself to refuse him, because you were friends, first and foremost. And friends don't abandon one another just because a mere glance at them sprouts a blush across your cheeks.

That's how you find yourself on your way to Han's dorm, for the third time that week. Watching movies together has become your little tradition, for the past few months, and sometimes even Chan joins in. Although he mostly enjoys shooting you a knowing smile, to which you flip him off.

Your phone rings and Han's name illuminates your screen. You smile against your will.

"Can't wait to see me this much?" you singsong and Han's chuckle rings through the phone. It's rich and deep, causing you to tighten your hold on the device.

"Yes. And can you please go to the store? I'm out of snacks."

"What do I get out of it?" you muse, changing directions to the nearest convenience store.

"Snacks."

"Asshole," you giggle on your way to cross the road.

"And my eternal gratitude of course."

"Right, because I can't-" Loud tires screech right beside you and you startle, letting out a loud yelp as you drop your phone.

A hand on top of your heart, you bend down to pick up your fallen device, as the driver gets out of the car that grazed your body, mere inches away from hitting you.

"Are you okay, miss? I'm sorry I didn't see you." The middle-aged man is quick to your side, and you glance at the small kid in his car, willing yourself to calm down for their sake.

"I'm fine. Just a bit startled. Drive more slowly, there is a kid with you."

"I know, I'm sorry," he drags a hand through his stressed features and you couldn't help but feel sympathy for him. "It's okay, don't worry about it. Just pay more attention to the road, okay?"

"Thank you so much. Thank you," he clasps his hand in gratitude before getting back to his car and you wave him off, your heart still wildly beating in your chest.

You head into the convenience store, picking up the snacks you know Han loves before paying for them. But as soon as you step back outside, you spot a disheveled Han crossing the road, sprinting toward the store. His pace quickens upon spotting you.

"What are you..." your question is cut short as his arms wrap around you, pulling you to his chest instantly. You can feel the frantic rhythm of his heart, and you're confused as he pulls away, hands cradling your cheeks and turning your face left and right.

"You're alright, nothing happened to you, right? You’re okay?" he inquires urgently and you let out a confused giggle, as you grab his arm to steady him.

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard the tires screech and you yelled and then you didn't pick up when I called and I thought-" his voice cracks. "I thought something happened to you."

"No, no. I'm okay. Nothing happened, I promise." you reassure, as he brings you to his chest once again, his hand smoothing the top of your hair.

"I was so scared," he kisses your temple, as his thumping heart resounds within your chest. "So terrified that something would happen to you. I thought I'd lose my mind."

"You don't mean that," you shake your head slowly, peeling yourself away from him.

"Can you really not see how much I care about you? How I crave being near you?" his voice raises a slight octave. The music in you picks up.

"How long do I have to pretend to be cold to have you nearby? For god's sake, I'm never cold around you, yn. When I see you, I ignite." He takes in a deep breath, pressing his forehead onto your shoulder. "And I... I couldn't have lived with myself if something happened to you. I... You drive me crazy, Yn. When we became friends it felt like I was stepping inside a home for the first time, and yet I already knew each turn in it."

He grabs your arms, shaking you slightly as his chest heaves up and down. "My darkness recognizes yours and my light is you and you- you think I wouldn't care if anything happened to you?"

He shakes his head as tears prickle in the corners of his eyes. Has his music always been this loud, were you just not listening properly?

"I'm scared because we didn't start well and I understand if a part of your heart still resents me, I do. But I don't think I can pretend anymore. Not with you," his voice softens as his gaze locks on yours.

"Were you pretending too?" He asks, hope dripping from his tone. "Do you feel it too?"

A split second goes by. A candle flickering somewhere. A dandelion plucked from the ground. The shadow of a cloud passing over the sun- and you pick.

"I feel it too. So much that my heart feels like it’s singing for you, Han."

"I'll sing for it in return," he whispers, before crashing his lips onto yours. His hand slides up the back of your neck, drawing you closer. You drop the bags of groceries as you cradle his cheeks, feeling them warm up beneath your touch. You can't believe you've ever disliked your heart for feeling too much, not when the lovely emotions flowing in your heart threaten to burst it at the seams, submerging you in a warmth you've never known before- Han.

Two months later

You have 3 new messages from: hannie

"kept this song a secret from you baby but i wrote it for you so you can't be mad"

"i don't know if you remember but you’ve once told me that you are a volcano. as if that’s something that’s supposed to put me off. well, some people dedicate their lives to studying volcanos. and i would dedicate mine to learning you."

"Volcano.mp3."

Light.

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theflowerrooms · 9 months

Note

hi petal! i've got an idea if you're still looking for requests c:

-imagine the squad goes camping but there was a miscommunication/error in booking and steve ends up having to room with eddie & the reader.

-he's already annoyed about having to third wheel but also bc he knows theyre always going at it.

-one night, he went to bed earlier than the group.

-by the time eddie & reader get to bed, they assume he's fast asleep but they were kinda loud coming into the cabin so he stirs awake.

-once they're in bed, they start messin around and eventually have sex, not caring about how loud their being bc they still think steve is asleep when really he's wide awake like O.O

(i'll leave it up to you whether or not steve gets himself off to them doin it but part of me feels like he has a voyeurism kink heehehe)

to request • eddie’s masterlist • steve’s masterlist • main

Wide Awake

Eddie Munson x Reader, x Steve Harrington (slight)

Summary: on a trip with friends, Steve ends up rooming with Eddie and you, the token sex addicts as he’s lovingly called you. He goes to bed early and you and Eddie calling soon after, thinking he’s fast asleep when you two start messing around

I seriously loved writing this so much! Thank you for the request! I’m a big fan of Steddie x reader and I’ve really been wanting to write more with Stevie <3 thank you! Love, Petal

wordcount: 2k

Warnings: smut, slight dubious consent, swearing, penetrative sex, voyeurism (Steve can hear reader and Eddie going at it), exhibitionism (Eddie and reader are definitely getting off on it, praise, slight humiliation?

He should’ve been the one to call and book the rooms. Maybe then they would’ve gotten four rooms with one bed each instead of two rooms with two beds each. Steve glared at you and Eddie across the fire pit, cozied together. Your face was buried into Eddie’s neck as you laughed at something Robin said. He didn’t hate you or Eddie, in fact, he loved you both immensely, his best friends. What he hated was the fact that you were always on each other. A constant reminder of how he was alone when the two of you looked happier than anyone had been before. It didn’t help that Steve had a thing for the both of you before you started dating.

Steve watched as Eddie’s hand slipped from your waist to your thigh, gripping it tightly and pulling you closer to him. He watched as your lips found Eddie’s pulse point, leaving nothing more than a gentle kiss, but it was enough to let Steve know you two were about to be interested in more than friendly kisses and lingering touches.

That was his cue to leave, go to bed and fall asleep before he got stuck listening to you two go at it.

He said his goodnights to everyone and all but ran to the room he’d soon be sharing with you and Eddie. His bed was cold and comfortable, but he was bitter and annoyed, and the cold only reminded him that there was nobody else to warm his bed with him. He hadn’t laid there long before he’d almost fallen asleep, resting on his side and blanket up to his chin as he faced the wall. His drowsiness was quick to leave him when he heard the door swing open and close.

"Shh- shut up, Steve's sleepin'." He heard you giggle, Eddie giggling in response. The corner of his mouth quirked up in a slight smile at your tipsy laughs, you sounded like you'd each been drinking. He knew it hadn't been more than a beer each; You and Eddie were just drunk on each other.

He heard Eddie's heavy footsteps as you led him over to the bed. He could hear you both falling onto the mattress and he was immediately grateful that the beds weren't squeaky, so at least he'd not have to listen to that.

He listened to you giggle and Eddie shush you. "Keep your pretty mouth shut, don't wanna wake up Steve." Eddie rasped. Steve could tell by his playful tone that he didn't really care if they woke him up or not.

The room soon filled with the sounds of you and Eddie kissing, clearly sloppy and rushed. Steve's face started to heat up with a deep blush that he was too embarrassed to acknowledge. And as your breath started to grow heavy with a soft sigh against Eddie's lips, Steve began to consider that maybe being stuck in a room with you and Eddie wasn't such a bad thing.

"Get this off baby." Eddie mumbled, mouthing breathily at your neck. You whispered something that Steve couldn't really hear, but he did hear his name. "Baby, it's fine, we'll be real quiet. If Harrington wakes up he can deal, or go sleep with the girls, it's fine." Eddie assured you, pecking kisses over his shoulder. Steve wanted to be irritated with Eddie for not caring to respect that maybe Steve didn't want to chance hearing you both fuck, but… Steve wasn't so mad about it, more excited than he was able to admit. It wasn't like he hadn't thought about Eddie and you like that before. He wasn't upset that he'd get to hear it this time.

Eddie was quick to help you get your shirt off. Steve could hear him kiss down the column of your chest, hear your shirt drop to the floor and he could even hear the zipper of your shorts before they hit the floor too.

“Fuck you’re so pretty.” Eddie groaned under his breath. Steve had to stop himself from turning to look for himself. He’d never seen you wearing less than a bikini, but that was enough for him to imagine. He didn’t have to see you to know that he already agreed.

Eddie kissed your sternum and unclasped your bra, letting you slide it off yourself as he let his hand fall to your cunt, rubbing slow, teasing circles over your panties. “Eddie, please.” You tried to whisper, but the unsteady and loud whimper that followed your words defeated the purpose of you whispering in the first place.

Your voice was darker, so sweet and needy, and that was it before Steve could feel him growing hard in his sweatpants. He heard Eddie’s taunting laugh and more whimpers from you that got him fully hard. He desperately wanted to turn and look at you, to reach down and palm himself, but he wouldn’t.

“Gonna let me taste you baby?” Eddie rasped, leaving more wet kisses on your stomach as he slid your underwear down your legs. Steve felt conflicted. He was excited at the possibility of getting to hear Eddie go down on you, frustrated that he couldn’t watch, and jealous that he didn’t get to have his mouth on you. Or even have Eddie’s mouth on himself.

You tugged Eddie’s hair to pull him up closer to you, and the groan he let out made Steve’s cock twitch. “Not right now, need you so bad, please.” Your voice shook and Steve exhaled, careful not to be too loud. He heard Eddie’s shirt hit the floor, then the zipper of his jeans. Steve wondered if he was stripping himself, or if you were helping him.

He stopped thinking about that the second he heard you gasp and sigh. He couldn’t be sure as he wasn’t able to see, but he imagined Eddie pushing his cock into you, bottoming out. He wondered how wet you were, and how deep Eddie was inside of you. He wanted to see so bad, but he was grateful to be able to hear the soft sounds you let out.

“Jesus… how are you always so fuckin’ tight? Feel so good angel.” Eddie’s voice was shakey, keeping his voice down for Steve’s sake. Unbeknownst to you both, Steve desperately wanted Eddie to speak up, wanted you to let yourself be louder.

As Eddie started moving faster in and out of you, you both stopped paying much attention to your volume. Eddie breathed heavily, and quiet moans were pushed out of your lips with each thrust of his cock. Steve could even hear your cunt, hearing just how soaking wet Eddie made you.

Steve’s cock was aching against his pants, and he just had to do something. Obviously he couldn’t jerk off right there: You’d stop if you knew he was listening. He shifted so that instead of laying on his side, he was on his stomach, giving him the perfect opportunity to press his hips against the mattress. He could gain some friction and alleviate some of the pressure from being so hard and not being able to do anything about it.

He nearly cursed at himself, the noise of him moving alerted you and Eddie. You both stopped, looking over at him to gauge whether or not he was awake. After a few moments of tense silence, Eddie started fucking you again, harder than before and catching you off guard. You whined, so loud and beautiful, and Steve couldn’t help but rhythmically roll his hips into the mattress. He had to bite down on his lip to keep himself quiet.

“Eddie-” His name fell from your lips, caught somewhere between a warning for him to slow down, or a plead for him to give you more. Steve didn’t think you were sure what you wanted.

“What’s the matter baby? Don’t wanna wake up Stevie?” Eddie asked teasingly and you hummed in agreement. “Awe, you don’t want Steve to see how well you take my cock? Don’t want Steve to see how fuckin’ pretty you look getting fucked?” He groaned and Steve almost groaned in return. Eddie’s words were doing just as much for him as they were for you, then the broken whine that came out of your mouth had Steve realizing the likelihood of him cumming in his pants like some desperate kid.

“Y’know what? I think you want him to see you. With the way you’re fuckin’ tightening up every time I say his damn name? God, fuck-” He fucked you harder, nails digging into the meat of your thighs, but it only spurred you on. He hit your g-spot over and over again, and you bit down on the junction between his neck and shoulder to try and quiet yourself. It was no use; you were still moaning desperately and Steve could hear every bit of it loud and clear. Each broken whine and whimper from your lips was bringing him closer and closer to an orgasm, just like Eddie’s cock was doing for you.

“Fucking- damn it, feel so good. Gonna cum baby? Are you gonna cum on my cock right next to Steve? Such a slut, fuckin’ love you” Eddie moaned, his thrusts were growing sloppier and sloppier and Steve could hear it.

“Love you- I- need to cum Eddie.” Your sweet voice was heavy with tears of pleasure, and simultaneously, you and Steve felt the pulsing in your lower stomachs, warning you of your orgasm.

“C’mon, so good for me, cum for me. Be a good slut and cum for me.” Eddie’s voice was thick and raspy, but sweet and loving. It guided you to your orgasm and you moaned loudly as you arched your back and came on his cock. At the same time, at Eddie’s demand, Steve came as well, his jaw hanging open in a choked back, silent moan as he filled his sweatpants with cum.

Eddie’s hips stuttered against yours and he came too, groaning loudly. A whiny moan that you loved to hear as he fucked his cum inside of you. “Fuck- s’good for me.” He mumbled, kissing your forehead as he stilled inside of you.

Steve rested there quietly, as quietly as he could manage. He listened to Eddie pull out of you and lay next to you, kissing the skin of your shoulders softly. Steve heard the blankets moving around as Eddie pulled them up over your shoulders for you.

“Thank you.” Your voice was sweet and sleepy, still heavy with that post orgasm haze. You thanked Eddie again, kissing his jaw. Steve wanted to thank him too, he wished he’d be able to replay everything he’d heard in his head over and over for the rest of time. He hoped you would do the same the next night. He’d make sure you ‘accidentally’ had to share a room with one another again. “Goodnight.” Steve smiled to himself as he heard your sweet voice, so loving and pretty. He heard you and Eddie kiss for a moment again and then he heard you shuffle closer to your boyfriend, burying your face in his neck. He was willing to bet you looked so cute.

Eddie yawned himself, “Goodnight baby.” He littered kisses over the crown of your head and Steve listened. He began to grow frustrated and jealous again, wishing he had someone to kiss him, to hold him. He wanted to scold himself for being so bitter about you and Eddie being happy together. You both deserved it after all; Steve just wanted to be happy, and he liked you both so much.

Finally, as Steve came back to himself after coming down from the post-orgasm high, he chewed his lip anxiously. What kind of creep not only listens to his friends have sex with each other, but gets off to it as well? The cold, wet stain in his pants began to grow uncomfortable as he began to grow guilty. What would you think if you knew? What would Eddie think? He was sure Eddie would want to knock his teeth out if he knew. Finally, he was interrupted from his anxious thoughts by Eddie’s voice.

“G’night Steve.”

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ghcstao3 · 6 months

Text

ahh, you guys got me, i’ll write more statue!ghoap (i was already planning to who are we kidding)

part 1

John is quick to learn that Simon is selective with his speaking.

He never asks questions, only makes observations. He listens to John’s rambling as he’s toured around the museum, only responds when necessary and never dares to greet other wandering exhibits.

John doesn’t mind. He’s long since learned how to fill silence.

Simon also seems to understand their limitations easily, finding his original pose with ease as the night comes to an end when John instructs him to, freezing in wait of dawn. John can’t help the fond smile that grows on his face watching him settle, lingering just before he’ll have to return to his own place.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” John says.

Simon never responds.

John watches Simon as he had the day prior, once he’s set himself right. He has to fight the smile that doesn’t seem to want to leave him just as the sun’s rays begin to illuminate the room.

Change, he may like, but it can’t always be afforded.

Simon is again constantly swarmed by observers and cameras, the centre of attention as new artwork often becomes for a week or so before the storm calms. John is comforted knowing that even in spite of this popularity, he’s the only one who gets to see what’s hidden behind the skull.

And how he can’t wait to see it again. How he can’t wait to see it every night following.

The museum’s opening and closing go by too slowly and mercifully quick all at once, and soon enough John is moving over to Simon yet again, excited to tell him all the things he’d thought of over the course of the day to share.

This time, Simon does relax with everyone else, but he doesn’t move from his pedestal until John reaches out his hand to help him down. The skull is left in his place as they go to wander.

It’s hours into the evening, when John has lost track of his rambling that Simon finally speaks for the first time that night.

“I don’t like how many people there are,” he remarks.

John has to pause a moment, bronze joints creaking at his sudden halt. He looks up at Simon and the distant expression that shadows his face, and finds himself rubbing a comforting hand along Simon’s bicep before realizing what he’s doing. Even still, Simon does not pull away.

“It’ll slow down in time,” John promises—he speaks entirely from experience, though he hadn’t ever thought much of the attention. “Just happens whenever there’s a newcomer, is all.”

A frown tugs at Simon’s face. “But I’m not new.”

John hums. “No,” he agrees. “But to them, you are. In a few days, everything will be quieter. It’s just the cycle for all of us.”

John already knows Simon’s tells for when he’s thinking. He wonders if it’s a cause of Simon’s expression being obscured by a mask for as long as he’s existed, up until the night before.

“I don’t like being a display,” Simon decides quietly, determinedly.

John knows the feeling. Knows it goes deeper than just wanting to be hidden away from thousands of pairs of eyes on the daily. Knows it stems from a want to be real.

“Me neither,” John says softly. Simon looks troubled—it takes strength to keep from trying to smooth the artificial crease in his forehead, a gesture he’s seen many times from museum goers, among many others. “But it’s either this, or be stuck in a crate, or under rubble and earth somewhere. Alone. It’s hard to avoid when it’s the purpose we were created with.”

It’s all something John had to grapple with himself, once upon a time. But he’s had decades, now, to get used to it.

He’s sure Simon will as well, in time. John can only help him to adjust.

“C’mon, let’s go visit the other exhibits from your time,” John proposes, gently taking Simon’s hand. “Maybe you’ll know a few of them.”

Simon doesn’t have much to say for the rest of the night as he follows along—but it’s alright. John revels in his company anyway.

He’ll come around, eventually. John is certain of it.

#scheduled #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soapghost #ghost x soap #ghostsoap #ghoap #writing #statue!ghoap #more to come maybe

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sphireath-wisp · 8 months

Note

please do sae and kaiser next for You and Me - Always Forever i love it sm!!! 💗💗

#You and Me - Always Forever

Sypnosis: What was one of the moments that made them decide they wanted to marry you and vice versa?

Warnings: Might fall in love with the reader, no actual proposals (just the moments that spark the thought, that feeling that you'd want to spend a lifetime with that person), not proofread, messy interchanging grammar

Notes: SOMEONE HAS ANSWERED MY PRAYERS I FINALLY GOT A REQUEST, ILYSM ANON TYSM 💪💪💪

Featuring: Sae Itoshi, Michael Kaiser x GN! Reader

Sae Itoshi - What made him want to marry you?

"One ice cream for the newlyweds!" The ice cream uncle ecstatically exclaims, a smile beaming on his face. He passes you the ice cream and swipes the money from Sae's hands - he would have usually done the uncle a favor by passing the money directly, but his assumption about the both of you made him malfunction for a moment.

Sae exchanged quick glances with you - any longer and you would have noticed a hint of red creeping up his cheeks. "We're not newlyweds," Sae speaks before stuffing spare change in his wallet.

"Oh?" The uncle's eyes widen, "You both looked on the younger side. How long have you both been married?"

"Aha, no, we're not married." You blurt out, the already-dopey smile on your face growing even wider as you feel Sae's pinky finger link with yours. "We're not engaged either." You add on, just in case.

"Really? I'm sorry for making assumptions then," the uncle nods as you insist it's okay, he did give you and Sae quite a euphoric moment to remember - a small moment etched into both of your memories.

As you laugh about the whole situation after waving the uncle goodbye, you notice Sae seems to be... absorbed in his thoughts, hands still tucked in his pockets and silent as ever - he didn't even taste the ice cream you both agreed to share, he was so excited to show you his favorite ice cream truck that he almost annually visited every week as a child.

"Sae?" You nudge him lightly after scooping up a portion of the ice cream with a small spoon. "Come on, eat some ice cream, or else it'll melt."

Sae blinks and snaps out of his dazed trance, eyes on the ice cream before looking at you - gaze melting ever so slightly. "You can have all of it. I had a lot of it as a kid."

"But, didn't you say it's your favorite flavor? Plus, we agreed to share or else I'll be too full for lunch." He still seems to be out of it as his eyes linger on you for longer than usual. His mind was still stuck on the interaction between you, him, and the ice cream uncle.

Did you both look like a couple that much? Did the both of you really act like a married couple? The thought that both you and Sae were just dating never even crossed the uncle's mind. The look on his face when you told him that you weren't married to Sae... was it really that surprising?

Sae's eyes narrow slightly at you after you take another bite. Taking the complimentary tissues the uncle passed you, one hand lifts your chin up, the other hand using the tissue to wipe the corner of your mouth gently. He didn't laugh or make fun of you, the gears in his body turning to help you without any judgment.

Sae pauses, taking a mental note of his actions. His eyes locked with you once more before shifting back... perhaps the both of you did resemble a married couple a bit. "...What were you saying?"

"...Nothing." You glance away, swarms of butterflies invading your stomach.

After that, even when you both returned to your shared apartment, he began realizing just how automatic and in tune the both of you were together. Every morning, you always prepared that extra cup of coffee for him. He'd always warn you of hot surfaces beforehand. You'd always prepare the bath before he reached home and he always reminded you to water the plants outside.

Sae was logical, calculative, and always thought before he acted. He had no reason to marry you (if he ignored how hopelessly in love he was with you, but he wouldn't accept that as a legitimate reason.). However, at the very same time, he didn't have any reason to not marry you (which he used to convince himself that everything he was doing was planned and completely logical.)

The more he considered it, the more he thought about his life with you. He loved waking up with you next to him every morning. He loved how adaptable you were, waiting in bed for him for his nap so he wouldn't have to drag you into bed with him. He couldn't see himself in a future without you. He had someone to lose.

So, he'll hold you close and never let you go, forever.

You - What made you want to marry him?

Sae was always someone that sensed more than he spoke.

His eyes are constantly at work, observing your every reaction, greedily stealing glances from you because he could never get tired of looking at you despite living in the same apartment. The smell of your perfume/cologne comforts him to unbelievable lengths, it calms him down. And occasionally, he wouldn't mind a bit of physical touch if it's with you. Give him that sweet smile and his barriers are broken down in an instant; maybe his lips will work their magic on you if he has the time (Sae always says he does).

But, of course, we're left with the last of the 5 senses - hearing. If there was one thing he loved doing, he absolutely adored hearing your voice. He's always the first to notice when you have a sore throat or when you're sick because of your voice, he's so sharp that even slight changes in your tone don't go unnoticed.

Sae would always insist that you call him, but since he rarely had the time overseas, you would resort to voice messages instead. Long voice messages about you rambling to him about your day, about the stone you accidentally tripped over, about that new Cafe that just opened up and smelt just like him during slow mornings - freshly brewed coffee.

Even after he was back from his overseas trip, he still continued to (indirectly) ask you to send him voice messages. It was a bit... strange to you. You didn't mind honestly, but it did pique your curiosity.

"Why do you want me to send you voice messages when we can just talk like this?" The question pops up in your head and you blurt it out without a second thought, adjusting yourself in the passenger seat of Sae's car to get comfortable. "You're back from your overseas trip, we could always talk in person."

Sae doesn't respond and you notice his lips part slightly before he purses them back - little changes in his body language that you've learned to take note of. He was hesitant to respond.

He was aware of how aloof he could be, painfully aware. Even in times like now, he was still trying to frame his words in a way that wasn't too blunt.

"Once..." Sae parked the car first before finally speaking. "You told me you felt like I wasn't listening to you and you got sad. You stopped rambling and talking to me as much as you used to." Sae lets go of the steering wheel, body twisting to the side to face you fully, demonstrating to you just how much he meant every word.

"You always told me you didn't like one-way conversations... but I like your voice." Sae openly admits - something he's sure he would've regretted in the past, but he knows you wouldn't judge. You nodded as he spoke, eyes locked with his as you felt heat creep to your cheeks and up the tip of your ears - he really was listening.

"For the first time in a while, I heard you ramble in your voice messages. It was... nice to hear you talk for so long and you sounded so happy." Your eyes capture the heartwarming image of him glancing away to hide the pink dusted on his cheeks, a smile tugging on his lips. At that point, you couldn't stop smiling, words like this would make anyone fall in love. "I just wanted to hear you ramble like that more."

His hands land on the back of his neck, scratching it lightly whilst waiting for your response.

It was weirdly innocent and pure for someone like Sae, even you couldn't hold back your giggles after hearing his reasoning. Sae grip on your hand tightens as you laugh. Damn it, did you have to be that charming?

"Sae," Your voice lowers and he feels shivers crawl down his spine at the way you hum his name. You've immediately stolen all of his focus with one word, you really are remarkable. "It feels uncomfortable because sometimes you never reply. When I talk, I wanna feel like I'm being heard, you know?"

Sae nodded.

"A simple 'uhuh' or asking questions makes me feel like I'm being listened to." You gently stroke his knuckles with your thumb and his gaze alternates between you and your hand interlocked with his. "Plus, hearing my voice like this, in real life, sounds much better, right?"

"Mmhm, you're right... Could you continue about that cat you saw at the pet shop?" He was always a fast learner.

Michael Kaiser - What made him want to marry you?

"How are you feeling?" You almost flinch when you press your hand against Kaiser's forehead, his rising temperature alarming you. You tilt your head to the side, allowing him to bury his face comfortably into the crook of your neck. "Not so good, meine liebe." Kaiser grumbles, voice hoarse.

You feel heat radiate from his body and arms wrap around your waist, leaving not even a centimeter of breathing room between you and him. Usually, if he was in a better condition, he'd be teasing you in soft whispers or planting delicate kisses against your skin, smirking at your reaction.

Hot breaths against your neck give rise to even more concern and you quickly guide him back to bed - the place where he gathered so much of his energy together to escape from so he could be with you despite his worsening fever. "No crawling out of bed and no rebutting that." You order, lowering his head down on the pillow and spotting the sweat trickling down his face. Strands of hair cling to the back of his neck, breathing heavy and erratic.

"You're so cruel to me, der Liebling." Kaiser groans softly, chuckling in spite of his unfortunate situation. You feel your cheek flush slightly at the way he calls you, though he doesn't sound as pleasant to the ears with his sore throat. "I'll be nice if you listen, okay?"

"Yes ma'am." Kaiser's gaze melts and you almost feel yourself melting along. The effect this man had on you was crazy.

You sigh and stand up, "I'll go make you some food. Eating more is important especially when you're sick." Kaiser's fingers inch towards you just as you're about to leave, but he lacks the energy to stop you entirely.

It was... nice to see your nurturing side towards him. How you gently creak the door open and innocently peek your head in, muttering his name in case he was awake. How you'll always catch him when he pretends he's asleep - he just likes feeling you pat his head and run your fingers through his hair to soothe him to sleep. The way you always rush to his room when he calls out your name, you purposefully don't listen to music when he's sick so you can always hear his voice.

You insisted on doing the chores for the week and - no matter how much Kaiser tried to get up and help, you were just as stubborn as him and refused any assistance. He feels exhausted, but he'll ignore that exhaustion if it means he can help you even in this situation - it's out of character for him to be so selfless.

"Kaiser... can you sit up and eat?" You highly doubted he could, especially when all he could do was return you with a weak nod instead of a verbal response. "Okay, I'll lead you outside, but please tell me if you need to go back to bed."

Kaiser wraps his arm around your shoulder, trying to wobble back onto his own two feet. Usually, you would be spoonfeeding him chicken soup or something warm by the bed, but the table bedside didn't have enough space to fit all of the food you prepared.

Weary eyes glance at the whole feast on the table and you help him sit down before sitting down next to him. "Recognize any of the dishes?"

"...are these all German dishes?" He instantly recognizes them from the smell alone. "Mmhm! I got a little carried away with how much I prepared, but I hope they make you feel a little more at home, or at least better." He could practically burst into tears right now, gaze switching between you and the food you spent the whole morning and afternoon preparing.

You pick up a spoon and grab a bite-sized portion of the food in front of you, cupping his cheeks as you ask him say 'aahh'. He obeys, opening his mouth before being fed the food. "How is it?" You inquire, scooping up another bite.

"It tastes like an amateur made it." You almost drop your spoon and your chin dips. It felt like you just received a kick to the stomach and you chuckle. You both sit in silence for a moment and you begin to reconsider whether his initial comment was sarcasm or not.

"But," Kaiser's hand rests on your thigh, thumb lightly caressing your skin - he's always been a bit of a romantic. "It's one of the best dishes I've ever had, der Liebling."

You - What made you want to marry him?

Kaiser was always a risk-taker. His charms never failed him when it came to others and his skills always proved him superior in soccer, so of course you assumed it was the same thing when it came to you. You were sure you were just another victim of his charms and he happened to fall in love so hard that he stuck with you until now.

Though, that all changed when you began reminiscing about your younger years with him.

"Do you remember when we had our first kiss?" The words slip out of your mouth suddenly as you stare out of the window of your shared apartment with Kaiser, entranced by the ocean of stars glittering like jewels in the midnight sky.

Kaiser steals a glance at you and you don't stare back - good, he didn't want you to tease him about the (most likely) obvious blush on his cheeks. "Yeah," he mumbles out loud before your head swerves to look in his direction.

Simultaneously, both of your lips part.

"It was horrible."

"It was amazing."

You blink at Kaiser, lips pursing to hold back your giggles in vain. "You thought it was amazing?"

Kaiser fidgets with the pen in his hand, scoffing. "Yeah, why do you think it was horrible? I invited you out to a nice restaurant, we walked home together and I kissed you goodnight - sounds like it came out of a movie, what's wrong?" His eyebrows furrow as the memories of him being laughably nervous that evening suddenly flood his mind.

"I was a terrible kisser back then." You admit, a tinge of embarrassment laced into your words. You look away, back at the stars. "You broke this kiss so early, I screamed into my pillow all night."

Kaiser rests his cheek on his knuckles, elbow resting against the table and glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose slightly. He uses the pen to guide your chin, making you face him. "You weren't terrible, Meine Liebe."

Your fingers gently hold the pen, rolling your eyes with a dopey smile. "Don't use your flattery and charms against me. You always got me all flustered in the past."

"I'm being honest, really. From my very clear memory, you weren't as bad as you described." He's beginning to ramble. "In fact, you were the one who unintentionally made me flustered."

"Oh?" Kaiser pauses as you interrupt him, mind processing what he had just told you. "Like? Give me a few examples."

Oh fuck.

"Was it when I gave you a hug all of a sudden when you won the first match you invited me to?" Oh god, all of the memories are really coming back to him. He wanted to impress you so bad and actually considered that he might lose.

You inch closer, grinning from ear to ear. He had always known you looked good up close but wow.

"Was it when we accidentally bumped shoulders and you couldn't look me in the eye? I thought you felt bad for spilling my drink, but were you actually nervous around me?" You have no idea how many times he's actually stared at you from afar, sweaty hands stuffed into his pockets as he spoke to you.

Did the temperature suddenly rise? Why is he sweating so much?

"So... you broke that kiss with me so early because you were shy?" You hit the nail right on the coffin, watching him melt right before your eyes and glance away. Oh, how the tables had turned.

"Wow, I never knew." You hum in satisfaction, leaning back to give him a little more breathing space. "You fell for me hard, didn't you?"

Kaiser's dead silent, his heart pounding in his chest. He wished his heartbeat was loud enough to block out the sound of your voice, maybe then he would have time to recover and retort. "Meine Liebe, please..."

You place your hand on his, eyes glued back onto the stars as an amused chuckle escapes you. "I like this side of you. I like all sides of you." You heard the leaves rustling outside in a minute of short, sweet silence.

"I love you, Kaiser." You announce, almost too proudly. Kaiser sighs, still unable to lock eye contact with you. "...I love you too."

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josephquinnswhore · 1 year

Note

got another pedro x plus size reader (because they give me confidence and make me feel better about myself)

going to a premier of one if pedro movies and then going to like an after party with all his celeb friends. having drinks and fun etc. turns into reader and pedro dancing and reader grinding/twerking on pedro.

goes based off that video of tiffany hadish dancing on pedro at a party and oh how i envy that woman. *hey alexa play that should be me by justin bieber*

then they go home and yeah make that shit

❤️‍🔥🔥 spicy 🔥❤️‍🔥

(i love you and thank you for sharing your writing you deserve the world babe 🥹🩷 )

His Girl

Pairing: Pedro Pascal X Fem! Reader

Summary: unknown feelings between you and Pedro is admitted after some sexual tension.

Word Count: 3.2k

Content Warnings: friends to lovers trope (hope you don’t mind), drinking alcohol, spicy dancing, fingering, p in v, unprotected sex, missionary, creampie. :)

Note: I’ve not felt peace since I’ve seen this video. He’s so bashful and I would love nothing in the world more than to shake my ass on this man. (And hug him) 💜🤌🏼 song is 'just a little bit' by 50 cent. you know..... that one tiktok edit <3

You knew you messed up coming to an afterparty with you best friend, Pedro. You knew you would end up drinking too much and having too much fun, you knew you would pretend for a night that Pedro was yours and things would be everything you ever wanted in the morning, but it was never, it was always you and Pedro sharing the same bed, fully clothed from the night before, both with pounding heads and hungover. A vomit bucket had been placed on your side on the bed, who did it you were never sure, but it was almost routine for you two to hangout afterwards.

Which is why you were reluctant to join Pedro this evening, a bar, with drinks and dancing, it was inevitable and you could hardly bare it anymore. The pain was too much for you to handle, being Pedro's friend was too much for you when you had moments when you acted like a couple. The moments like this where you were by his side, it was insufferable, you found yourself wanting more than friendship, not daring to speak a word no matter how much it hurt.

“You look incredible, give me a spin gorgeous.” You oblige, cheeks flushed hot and red at Pedro’s praise. He takes your hand in his, holding it above his head as he spins you, looking you up and down to get the full picture of you.

Your curves on full display in the dress that clung to you, your hips accentuated had Pedro feeling feral, like something was going to overcome him and he was just going to pounce-he could hardly contain the way his cock twitched at the sight of you.

“Alright, alright. We better get a move on or we’ll be late.” Encouraging him out the door, you give him a gentle push as you lead him out of your apartment, the feeling of his broad shoulders under your fingertips had your hand lingering a moment longer than it should’ve. God he looked incredible, the suit fit him perfectly, his tummy slightly hung over his pants as the white dress shirt underneath was tightly tucked into his dress pants.

His hair was soft and unruly as the curls sit on his head, a masterpiece thanks to your fingers making quick work of his messy hair and some styling mousse.

He opens the door for you, like a complete gentleman, little do you know his eyes are stuck to the picture of your ass bending over to get into his car. Fuck he really has to get a grip of himself.

He follows the gps instruction, coming to a stop at a red light, you realise he’s starring at you, your ears tingle at how hot they feel under his watchful eyes.

“Do I have something on my face?” You question anxiously, pulling down the reflector to check in the mirror if there was something he could be starring at, wanting to save yourself from further embarrassment.

“No, you just look beautiful.” You feel the ache in your heart forming before he finishes the sentence, realising how much you love this man; it was difficult, it almost felt forbidden. Pedro didn’t do relationships, you knew you were absolutely fucked from the moment you met him.

“Hey, everything okay?” You hum in surprise as he pulls you out of your own head, not realising how much your thoughts had consumed you. His brown orbs are full of concern as your mood changes after his compliment, he thinks he’s done something wrong.

“Yeah, sorry. Just got some things on my mind.” His hand rests on your forearm, offering a gentle caress to keep you grounded, with him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He pulls up to the valie parking, the car still running as the man dressed in a tuxedo takes Pedro’s car keys.

“No, it’s fine. Let’s just enjoy our evening, sorry for being a bummer.”

Pedro can’t help the frown that pinches his eyebrows together, he wanted to help, to hold you, he couldn’t stand seeing you like this, so distant and far from the woman he knew you to be. He sees the way you push it all back internally, like putting a half read book back onto the shelf to be finished later, the fake smile that sits on your lips as you enter the venue.

The bar is full of people you know, the purple lights shining bright on your matte purple dress, the colour looks incredible on your skin as you approach the bar to ask for a drink. The drink is slid across the bar and you take a sip, scrunching your face up in disgust but swallow the cool liquid anyway, it warms your insides in a way that’s addicting, so you throw your head back and finish what’s in the glass. You ‘ah’ as you set the glass down and order another, confidence through the roof as your empty stomach consumes the calories from the drink.

The lack of food in your stomach had the alcohol settling in your blood stream too quickly, it went straight to your head, feeling a little woozy as you’d consumed the second drink. The tall glass full of nothing but alcohol, your tolerance was below average and you mindlessly leave Pedro at the bar, trying to forget about the love you have for him. Tonight you were going to have fun.

You wished you could’ve prepared yourself for the night ahead of you.

Things were going great for most of the night, casual talk with some family here and there, after your sixth drink in one hour you were beginning to regret not taking more time in between. The last of the liquid slips down your throat, and for the first time since you arrived together, you see Pedro watching you.

A familiar tune rings in your ears through the blaring speakers that would leave you with a headache tomorrow. But for now, that tune set something slight in you, you set the empty glass down on a nearby table, your body moving to the beat. This song did things to you, reminded you of him. You decide to put on a show for him, since he was watching and you were absolutely out of your mind giddy and drunk.

Damn baby all I need is a lil' bit

A lil' bit of this, a lil' bit of that

Get it crackin' in the club when you hear the shit

Drop it like it's hot, get to workin' that back

You keep eye contact as you roll your hips to the music, feeling completely yourself as you amerce yourself and give in to the music completely.

You don’t feel him at first, once you realise he’s behind you, you smirk mischievously with an idea that’s probably not a good idea, but fuck it. He was looking so fine and this song had you feeling some kinda way.

Girl, shake that thing, yeah, work that thing

Let me see it go up and down

Rotate that thing, I wanna touch that thing

When you make it go 'round and 'round

His hands find your hips, guiding you closer to him as you shake your ass skilfully, grinding on him teasingly, you look back to him and his hair is messy, eyes are dark and he’s got one hand rubbing the back of his neck bashfully, a shy grin on his lips as he enjoys himself and the sight of you on him.

The crowd that’s surrounded you was cheering, their voices and noise in the back of your mind as you stand straight and turn to face Pedro, wrapping your arms around his neck, his arms around your waist as you and he work in sync to move against each other.

I wanna unbutton your pants just a lil' bit

Take 'em off and pull 'em down just a lil' bit

Get to kissin' and touchin' a lil' bit

Get to lickin' it, a lil' bit

Pedro’s hand caress your hips, running them up and down your curves, dark eyes watching you intensely as you show off for him, your confidence attracting him to you tenfold. The way your body moved effortlessly, the way you held eye contact with him and ran a hand down his chest seductively had him weak in the knees.

Your hands make quick work to unbutton the top three buttons of his shirt, never minding the people around you that are videoing the interaction, you felt like you and Pedro were the only two people in the room. His hands caress your ass, grabbing a handful in a state of his own drunken haze and need for more of you. He pulls you closer, you’re flush against his sweating body and you feel his rock hard cock straining in the confines of his pants.

You feel yourself soaking your perfect lace panties as his hands guide your ass to grind against him, his eyes breaking contact with your own to lean his forehead down onto your shoulder, kissing the bare skin in butterfly kisses, licking a stripe up your neck never reminding the sweat.

“C’mon baby you’re killing me, need you do fucking bad.” You gasp at his full transparency, regardless of your flirty interaction on the dance floor the song fades out, he still holds you against him, not wanting to lose this moment with you.

“Let’s go home handsome. I’ll take care of you.” He gives you one last squeeze of your ass and rushed through the farewells of the crowd, you walk closely in front of him to hide his indiscretion. Once you’re outside, the cool air has your teeth chattering as you wait for an Uber Pedro had ordered, he would worry about the car later.

You feel a warmth embracing your shoulders, soft material clinging off your body. You turn to Pedro and see he’s given you his suit jacket, left in his white long sleeve dress shirt that’s still tucked into his suit pants. He suddenly seems shy as your eyes scan him up and down, pausing when you see his soft tummy slightly overhanging his dress pants, your hands caress him in a silent praise, but verbalise it anyway, knowing he’s insecure about it.

“Fucking love your tummy, you know that?” You’re swaying, he’s convinced that it’s just because you’re drunk, in a way because you were trying to distract yourself from whatever was upsetting you earlier.

“I know baby.” He holds your head to his chest, playing with your hair with his fingertips grazing your scalp you let out a groan, he always knew how to make you feel good in an intimate way.

You pass out as soon as you get in the Uber, Pedro watches over you to make sure you’re still breathing, the amount you had to drink tonight was more than he’d ever seen. He also didn’t want you to choke if you vomited, so he pulled your body into him, turning your head downward facing his lap, yes it would be unfortunate if you did happen to puke right into his lap, but hey-he would take the chance.

He pays for the Uber when you arrive back at your place, he manages to pick you up bridal style, all while digging through your purse to find your keys to unlock the front door. Not knowing how to manoeuvre around your house in the dark, he turns a light on which stirs you from your slumber, your eyes fluttering open just as he sets you down in your bed.

He returns with a wet washcloth to wipe your face, trying to cool you down, offering you a drink of water which you accept. “Thanks.” You mumble embarrassed of your shenanigans tonight. “Need any help getting into your pyjamas?” You nod pathetically, bottom lip jutting outward in a big pout as you give him your best puppy dog eyes. Your legs still felt like jelly and your arms were too heavy for you to lift, you were starting to sober up, but you just wanted to lay in the comfort of your mountain of blankets and too many pillows.

He unzips your dress from the side, peeling the straps from your shoulders, pulling it down to your ankles and hanging it up on the coat hanger and up on the wall, not wanting to crinkle or have the delicate material stepped on.

He didn’t realise you weren’t wearing a bra when he comes back with pyjamas, the only thing covering your body was the small piece of material of your black mesh panties. He feels guilty that his cock bounces at the sight of you, bare. You’re more perfect than he ever could’ve imagined. He feels like a pervert, you need his help and he tells himself he’s doing wrong by you.

Your hand grasps his, drawing his attention back to your face, your bottom lip sucked in between your teeth as you watch him, noticing his internal struggle as he sees you, all for him.

You grab him by the collar, pulling him down to you, smashing your lips into his in desperation, tears of pent up feelings and hidden emotions coming to play in the fight for dominance. He pulls back, gasping for air, your hands tangle in his hair and tug lightly which earns a soft moan from him.

“We don’t have to do this.” He offers, giving you an out before you possibly ruin your friendship.

“Want to, want you. Love you so much, please.” A single tear escapes the corner of your eye, he wipes it away with his thumb, sincerity on his face as you confess your love for him.

“Fuck baby I’ve always loved you, why didn’t you say anything.” You help him unbutton his shirt, discarding it to your bedside nightstand, it knocks something off in the process which makes you laugh.

“Was scared you wouldn’t want me cause of how I look.” Pedro grips your face gently with one hand, forcing you to look at him, a sympathetic look strewn on his face, “oh baby, you’re so fucking perfect. And god you know how to shake that ass.”

You giggle as he grabs a handful of your ass, pushing your panties to the side in a desperate attempt to feel you, he couldn’t wait much longer. The action sent you into a frenzy, hands grabbing at his belt as you unbuckled him, pulling his pants and underwear down to his knees, spreading your legs to make room for him between your legs. Your eyes are wide and you inhale a gasp as you see the size of him, it’s thick, about 7 inches and a few shades lighter than his skin tone, he was trimmed and fuck he was perfect.

“Is it okay?” He mutters nervously, anxiety driving his insecurity. You look at him through your lashes and bath your eyes at him as he’s hovering over you.

“It’s fucking perfect baby, you’re so big I dunno if I can take it.” Pedro grunts at your praise, his cock jumping upward.

His fingers slide into you easily, your hole is dripping onto your sheets, the alcohol being a bad influence on your holes need to be fucked. He slowly pumps two fingers inside of you, not bothering to take his time to start of with one, you took him easily with how wet you are, sucking his fingers back in as he curled them upward at the spongey flesh that had your back arched off the bed and eyes clenched shut.

“Fuck Pedro, feels so good.” He leans his head down, humming against your breasts, your hardened nipples are aching with need, wanting some attention paid to them too. He kisses them sloppily, nipping and grazing his teeth as he pulls away, the sensation has you squirming beneath him.

“Need more, please,” you beg impatiently, just wanting his cock to fill your cunt, needing to feel him, all of him.

“It’s okay baby, I’ll take care of you.” His thumb meets your aching clit, relieving some pressure as he swirls it around in delicious small tight circles, the pressure was building by the second, the pleasure was almost too much, the skilful action has you gripping your duvet, legs wrapping around his own as you try to pull him closer, “come on baby, cum on my fingers.” You fell apart at his words, creaming on his fingers that massaged your sweet spot, your legs are shaking and your ears are ringing as a string of moans leave your lips. He continues pumping into you slowly, stringing your climax along as much as he can.

When he takes his fingers out of you, the emptiness makes you whine, he sucks your orgasm off his fingers, the action makes you squirm.

“I don’t have a condom baby.” He says pitifully, the head of his cock sticky in clear precum, the head was angry and red at being hard all night with no friction to help relieve him.

“Don’t care, I’m on the pill n I’m clean, please. Need you so bad.” Your voice wavers, still feeling the effects of your orgasm. He guides his cock to your entrance, watching your eyes for any signs of regret. He slides the head in, it’s thick and his fingers are no prep for the size of him, it burns slightly as he pushes in, you whimper, “fuck, so big.” He lets you adjust before pushing further into you, bottoming out, he lets out a breathy groan at the feel of you.

“Not gonna last with how good you feel.” He admits shamefully, you caress his face and kiss his forearm that’s right by your head, “it’s okay baby, move, please.”

Your hole quickly gets used to the size of him, your chest is heavyifng at how he takes your breath away, you bring your legs up to wrap around his lower back, bringing him closer to you, into you.

“Jesus’s fucking Christ baby,” he mutters, finding a steady pace as he pumps into you, slamming into your puffy walls, your whimpers and moans are getting louder and louder as your second climax builds, “fuck ‘m gonna cum, harder please.” He obliges, fucking into you ruthlessly, wanting you to cum again as he begins to sweat, trying to stop himself from cumming in you before you can reach your high.

“Fuck fuck fuck me, fuck Pedro, that’s it. Cock feels so fucking perfect.” Your legs tremble as you fall apart on his cock, stomach spasms as you come undone again, this orgasm coming down on you harder than the last.

Pedro cums seconds later, “fuck, feel so good baby.” His voice is breathy, deep and husky as he cums, his moans loud as the white ropes of his cum paint your walls, his sperm shooting deep inside your womb.

You wrap your arms around the back of his neck, pulling him down to lie completely flush against your cool, sweaty skin. You both sit in silence as you feel him go soft inside of you. You massage the back of his head, twisting the curls around your pointer finger.

“Did you mean it?” He asks, voice raspy and vulnerable.

“Mean what?” Unsure of what he means, what did you say?

“That you love me.” You feel anxious, a thousand thoughts running through your head per minute.

“Yeah I do.” He relaxed into you more, breathing evens at your words and you feel yourself becoming more at ease.

“Good, cause I want you to be mine."

You kiss the corner of his lips, "would love nothing more than to be yours."

Thank god you went out drinking this evening.

#pedro pascal #pedropascal #pedro pascal rpf #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x fem reader #pedro pascal x plus size reader #pedro pascal request

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insomniumstella · 1 year

Text

sweetest peach

bucky x bimbo!reader

warnings: implied smut, clueless!reader, pervy-ish!Bucky — the reader is more than fine with his behaviour though, corruption kink (?), explicit language

word count: 1,285

author’s note: this was supposed to be a headcanon, but it turned into a drabble real quick. i’ve been wanting to try writing something different though, so if you have any nsfw bucky thots or opinions, please do not hesitate to send an ask!

.•° ✿ °•. he’s a tad confused when you first join the team, clad in a pink crop top and a denim mini skirt. Steve doesn’t speak of the concern that swallows the space while you reapply lipgloss before freshly manicured fingers drum against the wooden desk in the conference room.

✧.* “hi,” you giggle, “i’m y/n,” and it’s then that James decides you’re just too cute and too oblivious to be perceived as a threat, gazing at him through doe eyes. you're so much different than anyone else on the team, gleaming with happiness and innocence, and James almost wants to corrupt you.

.•° ✿ °•. “hi, pretty girl,” he answers with a smile, “i’m Bucky.”

✧.* Maria Hill orders everyone to find a seat, so she could go through your file and inform the other avengers of the newest member’s abilities, but the soldier cannot focus, catching your wandering glance every once in a while. heat and desire itch underneath his skin as your eyes run across his firm shoulders and biceps, lingering on the metal arm before your stare finds his face again, and you offer him a sweet grin. he’s done for, Bucky realizes — he’d protect you with his life if it came down to it.

.•° ✿ °•. it’s a couple days later when James comes to Steve with a proposal, suggesting he should be the one to train you as the captain has far too many responsibilities. Steve agrees, too lost in the pile of documents to notice Bucky’s true intentions visibly etched into his facial expression.

✧.* you make it almost impossible for the soldier to focus during sparring, giggling and gasping, and whining when he manhandles you into different positions. it’s wrong, he understands, to make you accidentally straddle him time and time again, but he stops caring because you don’t seem to mind, grasping onto his muscled biceps for balance.

•° ✿ °•. “you lost again, peach.” Bucky chuckles, clutching your thighs to lift the two of you into a standing position. his hands come to rest under your butt while your arms latch around his neck as a plea for him to hold you a bit longer. mmmh, you hum with a sly smile, and Bucky’s taken aback slightly. he searches your face for an emotion he hasn’t yet decided upon, but it’s as warm and as charming as always, “sweets,” he leans in, “have you been letting me win on purpose?”

✧.* a giggle slips past your lips at his comment, “maybe,” you admit, but James cannot find it in himself to be mad because you’ve been letting him twist your body into outrageous positions for the past several weeks on purpose, whining in frustration—or pleasure—when his rough hands would handle your flesh. “i’m a witch,” you remind, pushing a piece of hair that’s stuck to his glistening forehead aside, “i could’ve used my magic on you, but i like it when you touch me.”

.•° ✿ °•. the ocean’s still for a while as Natasha begins taking you on missions. James continues to train you at hand-to-hand combat, though, and much to his satisfaction, you’re not only the most attractive student he’s ever had, but one of the best, quickly learning to fight without magic.

✧.* the swift glances and soft touches you often pay him outside the comfort of the gym’s walls bring the most delicious of pain and pleasure. he’s one of many you pay attention to, and it suffocates him, the sight of you acting so naive and sweet around other agents drowns him. but i like it when you touch me, James reminisces night after night, and so touch James does because how else would he know if you truly desire him.

.•° ✿ °•. you’re making coffee one morning when you feel him press into your behind to reach for a mug in the cupboard. the action is harmless, you think, and shift to smile at him as a good morning. he returns the gesture, bucking his hips into the plush of your ass before hastily retreating.

✧.* in your mind, the next few incidents are just as innocent. Bucky’s a righteous man, who’s only trying to be friendly to a newcomer, right? he must be because he pulls you into his lap during the compound’s movie nights when the sofa lacks space or holds the dip of your back to lead you through a crowd of people. James even offered to do your laundry, neatly folding tiny clothes into organized piles, including brightly colored panties. you noticed your favorite thong was missing from the stack of clothing he returned but stayed silent, grateful Bucky helped you in the first place.

.•° ✿ °•. it’s several months later when James decides he’s had enough. the team is hanging out at a nearby dive bar, indulging in countless dirt-cheap cocktails and heated rounds of pool. you’re standing beside Steve as you attempt to strike the cue ball, the cue stick gliding right above it. the frustration is evident in your face, eyebrows all scrunched up, wrinkling your pretty features. lacy panties peek out from under your skirt when you bend down, and James can feel his jeans tightening. lately, leggings and suits Tony designed with your specific kind of magic in mind have been the core of your attire, but it’s friday, and the night’s supposed to be fun, so you’re back to low-cut tops and barely there denim.

✧.* “shit,” you curse. the word is foreign to Bucky’s ears when it comes from your plump lips, and he abandons the conversation with Sam to come stand behind you. he places his hands on the cushions, caging you between his body and the table. pouting, you turn around to glance at him, “the stupid stick won’t hit the stupid ball,” you whine, unintentionally squirming against his hard length.

•° ✿ °•. “let me help you, peach,” James chuckles, holding your arms in his hands. he maneuvers you into the right position, helping you strike the ball. The cue ball strikes a purple neighboring sphere, and it rolls into one of the pockets. swiftly, you turn around to wrap your arms around Bucky’s neck, slightly jumping up and down from the happiness of a successful shot. “good job, sweets!” James celebrates with you, but it ends early when his metal arm detaches you from his body, clutching your waist to twist you, so that your back is against his chest again. “do that without my help this time.”

✧.* you comply as he takes a step back, but your focus is soon blurred when his nimble fingers caress the skin of your exposed thighs. James is so close, you can feel the warmth radiating off him, and he shifts to shield his wandering hands from unsuspecting gazes. leaning down, “focus” he murmurs into your neck before his fingers drift higher, nearing your core. it clenches around nothing, and James seems to notice, chuckling before he withdraws his touch to correct your form. “lower,” he instructs, pushing down on the dip of your back, “this hand should be further away from the cue ball,” Bucky informs, but you’re putty in his hands.

.•° ✿ °•. he retracts, allowing you to concentrate. the sphere misses a colored ball, striking the rail, and stops. “i missed,” you pout again and shove the cue into his hands, “i’ma get a drink.”

✧.* "how about i come with you," a slight smirk dances on his lips as he drops the stick into Tony's lap. his hand slithers to rest on the dip of your waist, and he pulls you into his body. you only giggle at his antics, the sound of it syrupy and genuine.

.•° ✿ °•. “alright, Buck,” you say, fluttering your eyelashes, and James swears he's going to completely corrupt you one day.

#bucky x reader #bucky x reader smut #bucky x bimbo!reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x bimbo!reader #bucky barnes x bimbo!reader smut #bucky x you #bucky imagine #bucky barnes imagine #bucky x reader drabble #bucky x reader headcanon #bucky headcanon #bucky barnes headcanon #bucky x female reader

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oh-stars · 3 months

Text

Out of Sync

Love is wanting to do everything with someone, even if its nothing special.

a @steddielovemonth prompt | 1311 words | CW: N/A | Rating: G

---

It’s as if the universe is actively working against him right now. Keith was out sick, so Steve had to take on more during his shifts on top of covering the shifts they didn’t work together. And then, Keith’s return lined up with Robin’s family vacation, so he had to cover her shifts too. He’s less bitter about covering for her, at least, but that’s not the point. Working two weeks straight, with his usual six hour shifts turning into clopen after clopen – it’s like he’s living at Family Video.

That’s not even the worst of it, really. Steve likes the extra money and working through Robin’s time off is always a good distraction from her being gone. The problem is Eddie’s working at the plant with Wayne now and he’s temporarily on Wayne’s shifts while a coworker is out on worker’s comp, so they’re all out of sync. It works great for Eddie’s schedule, lets him go to his physical therapy appointments he’s still doing and hang out with the kids and Steve usually, but not so great for Steve’s current predicament.

It’s been a month since they’ve had one-on-one time and Steve feels like he’s losing it.

Eddie’s shift change was a nightmare to get used to at first, and it didn’t help that Steve’s parents were in town so they couldn’t really see one another. Not when Steve had to pretend he still lived at the Harringtons rather than the trailer (Eddie had yet to ask, but if Wayne’s comments are anything to go by, it’s all but official). Then the Keith thing, now Robin’s out, and Steve’s just tired of seeing him in passing or when they bring one another lunch sometimes.

He doesn’t mind losing a bit of sleep to go eat “lunch” with Eddie at two in the morning. It’s nice, being able to just sit with Eddie in his car as Eddie eats the sandwich Steve made him with one hand and holds Steve’s with the other. They’re hidden in the dark of the late hour, safe in his car to be themselves, but neither are up for much conversation. Steve’s usually half asleep and Eddie’s trying to eat as much as possible to get him through the rest of his shift, too sore from working to really engage. Still much better than when Eddie pops in to bring his lunch at Family Video, where they can’t even hang out some days when Keith’s being a dick about non-employees in the break room or Eddie lingering at the counter “scaring” customers away. It’s usually a drop off and a quick hug situation.

Steve just misses him and he knows Eddie misses him too.

But they endure and the second Robin is back, Keith approves of Steve having a few days off in a row. Steve thinks it has more to do with corporate seeing an employee working for three weeks straight rather than Keith having a heart, but he’ll take what he can get.

Which means when Eddie comes shuffling into his (read: their) bedroom, eyes already closed and his belt undone, pants unzipped, Steve can help him into bed and take his time with him. He helps Eddie undress enough to be comfortable and makes sure he’s content laying down, then spends a bit of extra time massaging his back. He gets to enjoy feeling Eddie melt for him under his palms, to take his fill and look at him without worrying about the clock. They don’t say much, Eddie barely conscious as he grunts and moans as the knots in his back and the tightness in his skin are worked out, eased by Steve’s touch. The most he says is a mumbled, “Thank you, baby,” when Steve leans down to kiss his neck after a particularly painful knot.

And when Eddie falls asleep, Steve gets to curl back up with him. He doesn’t care if he actually gets to sleep, just luxuriates in Eddie’s warmth and the lack of responsibility for the day, stuck in that early morning haze.

They wake up a few hours later, when Eddie’s alarm goes off.

“You’re still here,” Eddie says, brow furrowed and frowning.

Steve chuckles. “Keith gave me three days off,” he says.

He watches as Eddie processes the information, concern turning into a shit-eating grin. It’s the only warning he gets before Eddie tackles him, hands in his hair as he kisses him. They don’t get out of bed for a while, too preoccupied with revisiting one another’s bodies and reacquainting themselves.

When they do finally emerge, Wayne’s pulling on his shoes. “What are you two thinking about for dinner?”

Eddie shrugs, yawning as he fixes their coffee. “Whatever works for me. Just not sloppy Joe’s again.”

“That ain’t much help,” Wayne huffs. He turns to Steve. “You goin’ to be here for dinner?”

Steve nods as he takes the mug Eddie offers him. “If you’ll have me.”

“Like you ain’t always welcome,” Wayne says, shaking his head. “You got an opinion on food?”

“No sir.”

“You boys aren’t any help,” Wayne grumbles. “Can’t buy shit for dinner if none of us know what we want.” He’s grabbing his coat and keys as he speaks, walking around the small living space as he gets ready.

Eddie shakes out his hair, eyes more alert. “Wait, it’s my turn to go to the store,” Eddie says.

Wayne waves him off. “I’m not blind, boy. You two have barely seen one another in a minute now and I can’t take any more of your whining. You’ll get the next time.”

“No,” Eddie protests, setting down his mug, “I’ve got this. You should resting–”

Steve’s brow furrows. “What happened?”

Wayne starts to grumble about nothing as Eddie turns to him with a scared look in his eye despite the serious expression. “His back is acting up. He says it's just a pinched nerve but I don’t think he should be risking anything.” He turns back to Wayne. “Go sit down. I’ll go to the store.”

Eddie doesn’t give anyone time to say anything before he heads back to the room.

“I’m sorry, Steve,” Wayne says as he shrugs off his coat. “I didn’t mean to mess up your day.”

Steve tilts his head. “You didn’t mess up anything. You should try to rest before your shift tonight.”

Wayne sighs as he sinks into his chair, face contorting in pain with the movements.

It doesn’t take much for Steve to head back into the bedroom in search of fresh clothes, his wallet, and Eddie’s keys. He meets Eddie at the bathroom, slipping inside to brush his teeth and try to figure something out with his hair.

“Why are you dressed?” Eddie asks as he wipes the toothpaste off his mouth.

“I’m going with you.”

Eddie shakes his head and puts his hands on Steve’s shoulders. “No. It’s your first day off in ages. Go rest.”

Steve takes Eddie’s wrists in his hands and pulls them off his shoulders. “I just want to spend the day with you, no matter what we’re doing.” He leans forward to kiss his cheek. “And I’ve got your keys so either I’m going or none of us are eating tonight,” he whispers, lips brushing against Eddie’s ear.

He laughs, wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist and pulling him in for a proper kiss. “I love you, you know that?”

“I love you, too.”

“What do you say to grabbing lunch before we go to the store? Make a date out of it?”

“Greasy diner food and grocery shopping,” Steve says with a laugh, “you sure know how to woo a man, Eds.”

Eddie winks. “Someone has to compete with the Harrington charm.”

Steve pulls away and tugs Eddie out of the bathroom. “C’mon. Quicker we leave, quicker we come back and can go back to bed.”

---

Thank you @lady-lostmind for betaing this story!

Ao3 Link

#ohstars fic #steddie fic #steddie #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddielovemonth #whatislovedailyprompts #ohstars posting challenge

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zmediaoutlet · 6 months

Note

hey i saw your post about ao3 house style and i can totally relate to it, so i thought maybe you could share some wincest fic recs? please and thank u 🙏

you know what bud, I will indeed share some wincest fic recs bc you should rec the stuff that is good and leave the crud in the dust, right? Right. So -- here are uhh a number of recs as they occur to me, which actually read like a person wrote them instead of an AO3-trained algorithm of some kind. Plus I only rec stuff if I actually like it so consider these Z Certified or something.

The Fremont Street Experience by @nigeltde-fic -- a quick 1200 words that's a fizzing jolt of champagne right under the heart. New love that's just bursting with all that could be. Anticipation fizzes in Dean's veins, dances in his fingertips. The sand shimmers, hazes, glitters. There's so much sky. It pours into the road at the horizon. -- see?

Miles Ahead by @egipci -- a fully-formed entirely real paragraph of 750 words in which we see Sam Winchester in all his want and wanting, and I want to crawl inside the narrative presented and live there year-round. You were pretending to sleep and every once in a while a car would pass by and the headlights would fill up the inside of the car like midday and then I would look at you out the corner of my eye. All the way I thought about Mexico and you there sunburnt. -- I mean my god.

Countdown by @mollyamory-again -- another tight 1200 of just a normally-tense night that dissolves in sweet established-vibes intimacy. Brothers who feel like brothers and also an earned and real -- not hotness exactly but just adults who have sex who act and think like adults, which is not as common as you'd hope! His fingers skate over Dean's skin in lazy patterns; they find their old places, and Dean shoves up to meet them, asking for more and getting more all at once. Sam missed him, Sam wants him; Sam is here, so they can do this, Dean wants so badly to do this.

Four Winters: I by @lindencypressbirch, who got deleted and so we'll just call her Linden. Stretching all the way up to 4700 words this time, Linden takes us through a godawful piece of shit of a day in which Dean Winchester Is Handling It, until of course he isn't -- but he is, because he has to, because what other choice is there? This one does a great job of showcasing the misery without lingering on it in a maudlin or tedious way. There's just the job, and then the next job after. After another moment or two he scrubbed a hand over his wet face and went looking for his thermos, and the last of the cold coffee it held. Because they had power now, yes, but there was no telling whether they would have power later, and as they were clearly not going to be going anywhere for a few days, he had work to do before it maybe went.

The Fall Will Probably Kill You by killabeez, which is allll the way up to 7k and retains interest throughout. The big strength in this one is that Sam is competent, steady, believable-from-canon Sam when we get so much over-the-top meathead jerk or simpering babyboy who reads 15 when he's mean to be 40. I'm just blown over by all that SAM. This fic is really about Dean's misery in s7 but it's dealt with pragmatically, almost implacably; more ott than the show went on some details, but the overall vibe is nevertheless: they will get through it because this is who they are. I appreciate that always and forever. He's the one with the secret, now. He hadn't meant it to be that way. But Sam asked Dean to trust him, and Dean said okay because he was sorry for using the F-word. Sorry for putting that look on Sam's face, for making him feel like a freak, the way he hadn't been for laying him out with his fist. It's ridiculous, how he still folds like a house of cards where Sam's concerned, no matter how many times he's told himself he won't do it again. But now he's stuck with the lie, and has no one to blame but himself.

That's probably enough to be going on with. If you read these, please leave a comment to tell the author that you appreciate their work, because it should be appreciated.

#spn #wincest #fic recs #answers

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lucy-sky · 2 years

Text

His Safest Place (Frank Castle x Reader drabble)

So I’m kinda stuck with my Julian Kaye fic atm, but I found this little something about sleepy cuddles with Frank among my drafts and decided to post because why not.

Warnings: mild sexual content (cock warming & lazy morning sex)

Words: 871

AO3 link if you prefer reading there

You wake up when the bed creaks softly under his weight as he settles behind you and lets out a deep sigh that tickles the back of your neck. You didn’t expect him to come over tonight, yet you were secretly hoping for it.

“Frank.”

“Yeah,” his voice is gruff as he nuzzles into your shoulder, arms snaking to wrap around you and pull you closer against his chest.

“What time is it?” you murmur sleepily, unable to open your eyes just yet.

“Late.”

“I thought so.”

You rub your eyes and lazily turn to face him. Frank immediately repositions himself, and now you’re on your back with him on top of you.

“Hey,” he smiles crookedly when he meets your gaze.

“You’re hurt,” you frown, bringing your hand to his face, fingers tracing a fresh bruise on his cheek and down to a cut on his bottom lip.

“T’s just a scratch.”

“Yeah, right.”

It’s always just a scratch, even if he gets home with a broken nose or ribs, or a bullet wound. Tonight, however, his bruises really don’t seem all that bad. He looks exhausted though. And a little more clingy than he usually is. Not that you mind it.

“What happened this time?” you still ask, and he lets out another sigh.

“Shh… Let’s talk ‘bout it in the morning, okay?” he mutters, burying his face in the crook of your neck and inhaling your scent. “Just… Too tired for talkin’.”

“Okay,” you agree easily, wrapping your arms around his solid frame and pressing a kiss against his temple. The weight of Frank’s body on top of you feels so good. He’s nice and warm from the shower, and there’s a faint lingering smell of your apple and cinnamon scented shower gel which makes you smile. Since you gave Frank the keys from your apartment and he started spending more time here, you suggested buying something more appropriate just for him, but he refused, because you liked this scent and it reminded him of you. You still think it’s one of the sweetest things a man has ever told you.

You’re about to drift off again, basking in the feeling of Frank all around you, like you’re in some kind of a bubble. Absentmindedly, you stroke his back, tight muscles relaxing under your touch, yet he’s still a little tense, you can feel it. His hands sneak underneath the large t-shirt you sleep in, and you squirm a bit at the brush of calloused fingers under your ribs.

“Sorry I woke you up… I uh… Didn’t wanna-”

“C’mon, Frankie. You did want to wake me up,” you giggle sleepily. “Admit it.”

“Okay. Maybe,” he chuckles, and his lips press against the delicate skin of your neck. It’s a strange sensation when your mind’s still hazy with sleep, but your body reacts to his caress.

“Could you take this off for me, sweetheart?” he asks, slowly pushing the shirt further up your body.

“You said you’re tired, no?”

“Yeah, I am. Just wanna feel you.”

Even though his voice is quiet, thereʼs such unmistakable need in his tone it makes something spark within your core. You obey, tugging the shirt off over your head and tossing it away, shiver as the cool air hits your bare skin, but Frank is quick to warm you up. His lips are back on your neck, trailing up to reach your jawline, and then he cups your cheek and kisses you deeply, humming into your mouth, his tongue moving slowly against your own, savoring the sensation. There’s the slight metal taste of blood from the scrape on his lip, but you don’t care. This closeness and his need for you is overwhelming. At moments like this you know that no matter what risky things he’s into, you’re happy to be his escape, his cure, his home. His safest place.

Eventually you let him pull down your underwear. His cock’s half hard but it’s enough to slip inside you with a gentle roll of his hips.

“That’s it, sweetheart, that’s it, you feel s-so good… Can I just… Just stay like this for a while, okay?..” He mumbles against your skin as he kisses along your jaw and behind your ear, your lips and your closed eyelids.

“Course, baby. You can stay as long as you want.”

It’s a whole new level of intimacy to fall asleep like that. To feel him everywhere, around you and inside you. His scent, his touch, his body heat. His heart beats steadily next to yours as your chests press together.

In a few hours you wake up to a swell of his morning erection between your tender walls, and you make love slowly, lazily, whispering words of love and praise into each other’s skin, breathing each other in, moaning each other’s names as you fall apart.

“Now that’s what a good morning is, huh?” Frank drawls as he rolls on his back, pulling you against his chest and pressing a kiss on the top of your head. The bruise on his face looks worse in the light of the day, but nevertheless he’s the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen, especially when he smiles like that.

Thank you for reading!

#frank castle x reader #the punisher fanfiction #jon bernthal fanfiction #drabble #lucy tries to write

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septnautical · 12 days

Note

"I heard you shout. Nightmares again?"

I think this could fit schneep and Marvin?

(Used this as an opportunity for a big reveal of some new stuff for Marvin! Happy Mermay!!)

Another night- another horrible nightmare plagues Marvin’s mind. They always feel so real…

This one is… different though. He’s staring at… a version of himself. Himself stuck in his warper state- those bright pink alien eyes staring straight through him. He watches his other self get stiffer- become more robotic- and he feels himself following after. He panics- wanting to fight the sensation but his body is locking up. The warper him just barely tilts his head towards Marvin before speaking.

“Why are you denying what we are?”

“W-What?!” Marvin stammers in fear.

There’s no emotion on the other him’s face, “We are not like the other hybrids. We are not organic, we are not human. We are machines, made to serve a purpose. Why do you keep denying what we are?”

“Because I’m more than that!” Marvin shouts back, “Warpers may be machines but I… I'm me! I’m Marvin!”

“Your feeble attempts to cling to your humanity are making you weak,” The warper him says, “A human mind has so much potential. So much to unlock. You could be more powerful than any warper ever made. Maybe even on par with the architects. Yet you turn away from what you could be. Why?”

It suddenly warps so it and Marvin are face to face, pink eyes meeting teary blue.

“Are you afraid, WH-005?”

And for a moment… the voice sounded just like Zeke’s.

Marvin shoots awake and gasps, pushing himself up in the sand to shakily try to breathe. Fresh water over his gills seems to calm him down as he grips over his heart. His… heart that he can see through his chest- beating and pumping blood. But, he feels so disconnected from it. Like his body was turning into metal. And it scared him to his very core.

He yelps in surprise and fear as he feels a gentle hand on his shoulder. Then, he sees a goggled face and relaxes some. It’s just Henrik…

“I heard you shout…” The stalker hybrid says quietly, “More nightmares?”

Marvin is quiet but then slowly nods. His voice cracks a bit as he mumbles, “…t-they just keep getting worse, Hen… I-I…!”

Henrik is quick to wrap up the younger brother in a hug and shushes him gently. “It is only a dream, Marvin… they cannot hurt you.”

The warper mer is quiet in his arms for a few beats, trying to find comfort in his embrace. But the dream still lingered like poison in his mind. He pushes himself out and swims upward. “T-That’s just it, Hen! It’s… it’s not just a dream… I-it’s things I’ve been worried about- worried that I’m… I’m too different f-from…!” He cuts himself off as he bites his lip, trying not to let tears linger in his eyes.

“M-Marvin what are you-?” Schneep tries to say. But Marvin hurriedly swims past him, towards the mouth of the cove.

“I- I need to look for answers…!” Marvin says quickly then warps away before Henrik can even get up to chase after him.

———

Marvin appears in the lost river and he blinks in confusion. “…why… am I here?” He asks, his voice echoing slightly in the dark cavern. He shudders, holding his arms tight around him. He hates it down here… here is where Zeke-

You want to find answers, right? A thought echoes through his head. And with the thought comes a feeling. Pulling him forward. Like an instinct. A need.

Marvin trembles, his tails juddering in place. But, maybe there were answers here somewhere. He shakes his head and swims after the feeling, going towards the strange alien-like arches that lead to his destination.

Though, whatever this feeling is… it’s not leading him to where Zeke had him. That was a small white suit wreck- a crude Alteran attempt at making warpers themselves… at least from what he can remember. It was all really fuzzy. But now… this is leading him to a really scary looking building. One that it seems even the white suits don’t touch. Probably because it looked like it was destroyed by… something. Something big. And the entire thing was submerged underwater. Which served Marvin just fine.

Still- looking at the strange glowing green structure hidden amongst the darkest parts of the Lost River sent shivers down the warper’s spine. But, he swallowed his fear and swam inside.

Inside was a confusing labyrinth of architecture he had rarely seen. Strangely glowing and… there were so many things locked behind glass structures. Marvin swam into an open room and gasped as he saw fuana specimens tacked onto displays. He felt sick as he saw a rabbit ray… and a huge egg that kinda reminded him of Anti.

He quickly swam out of that place- seeing massive claw marks scratched into the walls and dents of damage. But soon enough he entered a place that felt way too familiar… yet like nothing he had ever seen before.

It was horrifying… an expansive room filled with- warper parts. Several parts just left in construction- an inactive warper discarded and thrown on the floor, leaving that horrid green cage open. Just like the one that Zeke kept him for weeks, back in that wrecked Alterra copy. Clearly it had been a poorer copy of this. This… this is where the original warpers must have been made.

Seeing this all has Marcin’s heart pounding wildly, his skin raked with goosebumps. Still… this place had to have the answers he was looking for, right? The answer to what he was… was he human? Was he a machine? Was he too different from his brothers? …looking around this place though, he’s not sure this has the answer he wants to hear.

As he swims forward into the lab he tries to look around for something… he’s not exactly sure what. Surely there must be information in here… like a PDA or something?

When suddenly, his tail brushes against some kind of dark cube with glowing green lines- and lights and machines start to glow and whirl around him. Marvin freezes and whips around to look- only for some of those green metal bars and wires to crash into him and hold him in place. Marvin instantly starts to panic and fights against the cage, “no no!! Not again! L-Let me go!!”

He tries to warp but whatever this stuff is made of is suppressing his powers! He feels panicked tears welling up in his eyes and tries to struggle out more, using his claws to try to get out but the cage grabs his arms and pulls them taunt to the side. Ringing is starting up in his ears, he left his mask at the cove! He can’t lose himself here! But he feels his second pair of eyes trying to open, feels his warper instincts trying to claw their way to the surface through his panic.

One of the 4 pronged fabricators creaks loudly across the ancient ceiling as it comes to rest in front of Marvin. A blue light washes across his body, scanning him. Then, a robotic voice garbles out, almost too glitched and corrupted to understand:

‘Warper agent active but incomplete. Processing power not at full capacity.’

“What?! W-What does that mean?? P-Please just let me go! I’m not just a warper I-I’m-!” Marvin sobs. But the machines don’t listen. The fabricator arm zooms around Marvin- then latches onto his neck, inserting sharp tips under his armor.

‘Detecting damage in miniaturized phase chip. Warper agent’s self-repairing technology impaired. Reactiviating-‘

A sharp shock goes through Marvin’s nerves as his back arches and he lets out a strangled gasp of pain. Something in his blood seems to pump faster, feels… different. The… the ringing… is it getting… quieter?

‘Self repairing technology back online.’

Then, the fabricator whirls and then soars over his head, latching attachments against his skull and digging in. He screams bloody murder and tries to thrash against the pain but the cage tightens around him- holding him still.

‘Expanding processing power of Agent’s brain. Please stand by.’

The computerized voice says- now clearer as if talking directly into Marvin’s mind.

Then, there’s nothing but bright blinding pain as something pushes into his skull and electricity fills up Marvin’s whole body. He’s not sure if he’s screaming or not- he feels completely detached from his body. All he can feel is the pain as something is pushed into his mind.

When he next wakes up he’s laying down on his back on one of the tables inside the warper facility. He doesn’t even remember passing out… he groans and holds his head. It’s aching and pounding. But then as he looks out- something in his vision has changed.

He sees- words. Human words. But he can fully read and understand them now. Everywhere he looks he sees things start to get highlighted in blue, like they’re being scanned before information pops up to explain it. Just like a white suit machine. Marvin screams and tries to scramble away but- he can’t escape it! It’s all he can see!

He curls up and holds hands over his eyes, sobbing hysterically in fear. “W-What is this?! W-What’s happening to me?!”

Then, he stiffens slightly and pink blooms in his eyes as words start to fill his mind. It hurts- it hurts and he tries to fight it but there’s just urge to just- repeat the words! Say them outloud- he needs to he’s programmed to-

“Warper agents' brains and central nervous systems been digitally augmented with advanced processing power and remote communications.” Marvin says in a robotic drone, eyes glazing over slightly as the information slips from his lips.

Once he’s done, the pink fades from his eyes and the pressure lightens as he gasps. His limbs begin to tremble again, no longer stiff and robotic. He claps his hands over his mouth and chokes on a sob. That fabricator- it did something to him! Did it make him even more like a warper? More like a machine?!

Marvin rockets off the platform and back out into the rest of the facility- the rest of its freaky secrets blurring around him in his panic. The second he feels like he can warp again he does- crashing into the wall of the cove with a loud thud.

Soon enough Jackie comes into view and tries to help Marvin up, “Marvin?! Marv what’s wrong? Are you okay?!”

The touch is electric, it’s too much- it feels like Marvin’s nerves are on fire! He pushes Jackie away from him and curls up, “D-Don’t touch me!”

Jackie looks hurt, “What? Marvin-!”

More bodies start to swim closer, Marvin can feel Jamie’s tentacles and hear Schneep’s panicking. Another hand tries to touch him and he shoves it off. “Stop please just- stop…!”

“Marvin, I need to see what is wrong…!” Henrik tries to say, “Is your head hurting? Do you need your mask?”

“M-Maybe we should call for Danan?” Chase suggests shakily.

Marvin tries to look out at his brothers- and he gasps as he sees his vision start to scan them. Messages pop up, showing their designations. No no- Marvin didn’t want to see those! He whimpers and the others tense as they see flickers of pink in his eyes.

“Anti, get Marvin’s mask, quickly!” Henrik shouts. The sea dragon hesitates then grabs the mask and hurries over to hand it to Marvin. “Here,” Anti whispers, looking slightly worried.

But all Marvin can see is Anti’s designation- SE-004. And the notes of ‘return to HQ at all costs.’ Marvin chokes on a sob and curls up as much as he can, digging claws into his head as he shouts out, “no no! G-Get- GET AWAY FROM ME!!”

As he shouts this- suddenly, his mask and any lingering tech around the cave start to glow with blue light. Then, they start to float in the water despite their weight. The boys all watch this in awe. Until- the objects all shoot off in different directions, causing even more crashing sounds.

Marvin dares to look up, his eyes glowing blue now instead of pink. The others stare at him with confusion and a bit of fear.

“M-Marvin…” Schneep whispers, “…what did you do?”

#huffle tales #Mermay 2024 #whump requests 2024 #sorry it’s late :(((#but great way to start off Mermay!!#this is me trying to figure out how to make Marvin more magical #and also from lots of subnautica research I did :3 #eeee excited to see what y’all think!!#warper Marvin #warper magic #henrik von schneeplestein #reaper jackie #septnautical main story

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certifiedtrashmouth · 1 year

Note

#27 for your Spotify list 🤠

TRACK 27 - ode to a conversation stuck in your throat by del water gap (eddie munson x fem!reader, steve harrington x fem!reader mention)

a/n: alright. let’s spice this up. please be kind i don’t write smut often unless i feel so inclined lol

warnings: angst, cheating, oral (f receiving), smut (p in v, implied unprotected as there’s no mention of protection). Aka… mdni. :)

“and it may not mean much to you - but your plates are in his sink, your sweater’s on his bed. won’t you text me when you’re home? my baby, spare me all the rest.”

You’re not his to keep. He knows this, you know this - it doesn’t stop whatever’s happening between the two of you.

Eddie Munson had been your best friend since freshman year. The two of you were always a package deal; when you joined the theater club, Eddie joined the theater club. When Eddie started Hellfire Club, you were his co-founding member. When you volunteered to help decorate for the Spring Fling dance in ‘84, Eddie was begrudgingly by your side. When Eddie was invited to deal at parties, you were there in the shadows keeping him company.

Wherever one went, the other followed.

All of the relationships you had gone through had simply had to deal with it. It was a deal-breaker. Either they accepted that Eddie was a permanent fixture in your life, or they could get lost. And it was always fine, because he was the harmless best friend. Sure, he was a bit flirtier than necessary. And sure, his touches lingered longer than necessary. But he was your best friend - nothing more, nothing less, and surely nothing to worry about.

Steve Harrington had been surprisingly accepting of this. That had been his first mistake.

His second was not paying closer attention.

Because maybe, if he had a more watchful eye on you, if he had seen the signs, you wouldn’t be in bed with your best friend right now.

“Fuck,” you sigh as Eddie places open-mouthed kisses down your neck and over your collarbones, “Please.”

“Patience, sweetheart,” he murmurs as his mouth begins to travel carefully over your breasts. He’s taking his time, stopping and sucking harsh marks sporadically. You have no clue how you’ll explain the blooming bruises to Steve - that is, of course, if he even notices them before they begin to fade.

You’re only here because lately, Steve hadn’t been paying attention to you. He’d gotten too busy, he’d grown too comfortable. You had been slipping right through his fingers for quite some time now, and he hadn’t even noticed.

When Eddie bites down on one of your nipples, you gasp, your hands reaching up and threading through the curls at the base of his neck. He’s quick to lathe his tongue over it, soothing the sting he’d created and earning a pitiful whine from you. Your back is arching, aching for more.

His hands are quick to find your hips, harshly pinning your body down into his mattress to prevent any more wiggling as he continues his way down your body. He has it memorized at this point - every curve, every dip, every scar. He’d had the last four months to grow intimate with the crevices.

You’ve only been dating Steve for a year. For a third of the relationship, you’ve come to Eddie for solace.

“You’re so beautiful like this,” he praises as his lips graze over your navel, “So beautiful. And all mine. Isn’t that right, baby?”

You can barely muster out a response of, “All yours.”

For a brief moment in time, it’s true. When you’re here, underneath him and in his sheets, you are Eddie’s. He doesn’t have to beg and barter for pieces of you shared with Steve. Every time you show up at his trailer late at night, that look in your eyes, he knows that you’re going to belong to him and only him for the next several hours. It doesn’t matter that you’ll be going back home to Steve at the end of it. The two of you don’t think that far ahead in times like these.

He finally stops teasing you as he settles between your thighs, sitting a knee comfortably over each of his shoulders. Some nights, he would take his time with it. He’d nip and whisper kisses along your inner thighs until you were a wrecked mess, begging and pleading with him to end his torture of teasing. He’d take his time stripping you of your panties, puckering his lips and blowing cool air over your center until you were spasming beneath his fingertips.

Tonight is not one of those nights.

He dives right in, quick to latch his lips around your clit once he’s pushed your panties to the side. You weren’t expecting the sudden sensation, hips bucking without your consent as a moan leaves your lips. The sound is so pretty, it drives him insane. It urges him on.

His mouth becomes a mess as he laps at you, spit and your wetness drips down his chin as he keeps an arm draped over your hips to keep you as still as possible. But you still writhe beneath him with every flick of his tongue. You’re still coming completely apart beneath him, and you both know it’s only because of him. Not Steve. But Eddie.

“Just like that,” you whine, hands fisting his sheets so tightly that your knuckles have gone ghostly white, “Fuck, right there.”

When you reach up to throw an arm across your mouth, trying to muffle some of the curses and gasps spilling from your throat, he pauses.

“Nuh uh,” he insists, bringing his free hand up to tug your arm down, “Let me hear those pretty sounds, baby. I want to hear you.”

With those big brown eyes looking up at you, it’s impossible to not listen. Your hand finds home in his curls again and the filth spills out into the otherwise silent air of his room.

“Oh my God, Eddie. Fuck. F-Fuck, please. So good, so good.”

He brings a finger to your entrance, circling it around to get it wet before he presses it in. You’re hardly awarded a moment to adjust before he’s adding a second, curling them until the pads of his fingers have found the spot that makes your toes curl. It’s a place within you he’s familiar with - he’s unraveled you countless times in his bed, fingers curled into that very spot, whispering every dirty thought that came to mind into your ears night after night.

“I’m close,” you warn when you feel the knot building in your lower stomach, thighs instinctively squeezing around his head. If you weren’t so out of your mind, you’d be worried about suffocating him, but neither of you particularly care at this moment. To die here, between your legs with his fingers buried in your cunt, would be a heavenly way to die in Eddie Munson’s humble opinion.

But the moment he feels your walls beginning to flutter around his fingers, he’s quick to pull away, making you gasp before sighing out in frustration.

“What the hell, Eddie?” you begin to lift yourself up onto your elbows to look down at the frazzled boy going down on you, but he’s already lifting himself up along your body as he sucks his fingers clean, grin wild before he’s hovering over you.

“Aw, sweetheart, you didn’t think I was going to let you cum without me inside you, did you?” he teases gently.

You don’t reply, instead wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist as you pull his swollen lips to yours. Somewhere between the rough and desperate kisses, you find yourselves kicking your underwear off. Your panties are wrangled down to your ankles before being kicked somewhere off onto his floor, and his boxers are quick to follow. The moment the last few articles of clothing have been discarded, you’re lifting your hips against his in anticipation.

“Fuck, baby,” he groans as his cock begins to slide between your folds, “Who’s got you all hot and bothered like this, huh?”

“You,” you whimper, “It’s you.”

“Me? You sure? Not Steve, your loving boyfriend, but me, sweetheart?”

When you don’t respond, he reaches down between the two of you, pumping himself a few times before he guides himself properly through your slick. His head bumps your clit, and you let out another whine.

“Tell me that nobody else touches you like I do.”

“Nobody,” your hips thrust up again, growing further impatient and trying to end the suspense, “Nobody else. Only you. Only ever you, Eddie.”

He finally gives in, letting his hips roll forward slowly as you stretch around him. It takes you a moment to adjust to his girth, but the few seconds are immediate heaven for both of you. His eyes roll back just as he catches the whites of your own eyes.

He knows it’s just words. Empty promises.

But as he thrusts into you, hips snapping to meet yours repeatedly, leaving you a blubbering mess, it’s an unspoken agreement that playing pretend works for now. Each time he pulls backwards, nearly completely falling out of you, only to surge back forward and bottom out once more, neither of you care about the little white lies.

He knows that when it ends, you’ll go home to Steve, and he’ll resume the role of the harmless best friend. He knows that Steve will continue to live in the bubble that he’s the only one that has laid hands on his girlfriend, that has seen you like this. He knows the fantasy will resume as if you’d only ever called out Steve’s name as hot pleasure rolls through you, making you bite your lip hard enough to draw blood, as if you’d never chanted Eddie’s name like a prayer.

But for right now, it’s only him. It’s only Eddie who touches you like this, and it’s only Eddie who can completely unravel you, reducing you to a teary-eyed mess of mascara and smeared lipstick.

Only Eddie who touches you like this.

Maybe one day Steve will keep a closer eye on his girlfriend, but Eddie is thankful that today’s not that day.

#asks #thank u ily #spotify wrapped writing #eddie munson #steve harrington #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson smut

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heartpawp · 12 days

Text

call me if you get lost - I

not posting all chapters here since it's already finished, but thought i'd add the first!!! read the full 16 chapters on ao3 here

"You're insufferable."

Usually, you would've been more keen on your wording around men -- customers. Not this time around, though, as the man before you sneers with a reprehensible school girl giggle. His name is Alastor, as you'd come to know him, the (in)famous radio host of New Orleans! New Orleans' prized treasure and sanctity.

In your eyes? A hard-headed, outcast, fool. One very, very, unfortunate day, he called. And now you're stuck with this dolt.

You cross your arms in disdain. This was the third appointment of the week scheduled with him. There are two others. It's Wednesday. Doesn't he have something to do, his own popular radio show to host? Simply.. annoying. There was no other word to describe this situation, you thought, but then you realized there were. Nasty, annoying, annoying, insolent, crabby, maddening. It was like he wanted you to himself. There are a million other call girls, flappers, prostitutes.. whatever, to please his mindlessness. His apparent 'loneliness' he once dramatically declared he had.

"Are you done playing with your food yet?" You ask with a frown, groaning when his smile only widens. The ends of his golden eyes crinkle in satisfaction. Did he want a reaction for his insulting behavior? Well, he's about to damn get it!

He tilts his head to the side, acting all dollish and ditzy. Raising one brow, he starts his blabbering. Again. "Hm?" He jumps with a start, straightening back up. "Are you implying something with that retort of yours, my dear?" Of course. This f- "Why, I'd adore to eat that cute face of yours up," Grabbing your cheek with one hand and pinching it, he talks in that freakishly demeaning baby voice he does when he wants the total control he already has with his status, 'back'. "But I'm afraid I might get poisoned, my dear!" You grimace. Is he serious?

He already has you under his thumb, whether you like it or not. You both already know this- It's implied with your profession, and that stupid influential persona of his. He smiles. Terribly. Leaning in, so close your plush lips graze over his- and Alastor, your most excruciating client, swipes a bite with his sharp teeth to your lower lip. You play into his sick idea of a game, teasingly squinting your eyes, urging him to press harder.

Your bottom lip is surely losing color by now, but it quickly comes back when you feel a familiar copper taste linger on your tongue. Your lip starts to sting, and just when you think he's done, he slips his own tongue in your mouth. Grabbing your face with both his hands, Alastor pulls you closer than ever before. His saliva mixes with the burgundy-colored, smooth substance. It's fresh, new, and most importantly- exciting. Invigorating. It urges you for more.

It urges you to come back again on Thursday.. and then Friday, or whenever he calls you for a quick power trip.

It's not always this smooth sailing, though.

Sometimes this.. man, will call in advance, but will be absent from his place of residence at the appointed time. It's, frankly, worrying. For you! Of course, as you're locked outside bordering on pushing daisies. Often he fails to show for a good half-hour, until he finally shows up. Sweat like dew on his pretty caramel skin, rushing to the doorstep you stand angrily at.

He should really consider adding a bench. Or you should raise your prices.

Or both. Who's to say?

You. You're to say.

Quickly, after huffing and puffing all the way here (Ugh), he unlocks the spruce door to his home, politely ushering you in. Of course, he acts like a gentleman, but only for the first thirty seconds of his presence being known.

And then it starts all over again.

With how much he occupies your work schedule, you may as well drop all offers from other people- also considering his odd possessiveness with you.

Really, someone needs to put him in his place.

#misc fics #hazbin hotel #writing #fanfic #ao3 #alastor x y/n #alastor x you #hazbin alastor #alastor x reader #alastor #hazbin #human alastor

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clericofshadows · 4 months

Text

opportunities

Description: Kaidan Alenko gets stuck in a Citadel elevator with Admiral Steven Hackett, and they come to a few realizations that lead to a better future regarding them and Nyx Shepard.

Pairing: Past Male Shepard/Steven Hackett, Current Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard. Future Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard/Steven Hackett

Notes: This is a No Reapers AU (or rather, mostly no Reapers with some remnants). Not terribly important to this fic, but it's how I'm writing Nyx's canon.

Kaidan still wasn't quite used to being called Spectre Alenko about as much as being called Commander Alenko. Two new titles gained post the Battle of the Citadel, and many new responsibilities now his to handle with Captain Nyx Shepard by his side.

The Normandy became a true joint Spectre and Alliance vessel with a new mission after her maiden voyage: root out the remaining remnants of the Reapers and geth under their thrall.

Nearly an impossible quest in such a large galaxy, but Nyx's visions made a few things clear.

It's still hard to imagine how close the protheans were to victory, wiping themselves out in the process of defeating most of the Reapers.

And now it's this cycle’s turn to finally put a stop to it.

Nyx was currently meeting some old friends of his, and Kaidan decided to take part of his leave by visiting the Alliance designated areas to burn off some steam. Sure, he could easily access the Spectre ranges, but he wasn't in the mood for that environment, preferring something closer to home and rich with familiarity.

He sent a quick message to Nyx to let him know where he decided on going, but didn't receive a response. Probably has his notifications on silent, like damn near always when he’s not on duty. The bastard.

Kaidan sent him a few little kisses and hugs as well for him to see whenever he bothered to look at his omnitool and rounded the corner to access the wards’ elevator entrance to get to the nearest rapid transport point.

He entered the elevator and was about to close the doors when someone called out to hold it. He quickly pressed the button to open the doors back up, and to his surprise, it was Admiral Hackett rushing to the elevator, clothed in civilian wear. A green turtleneck, grey dress pants, and oxfords shined to perfection. Damn.

Not the first time he's seen him out of dress blues, but well, Kaidan can't quite deny that the man wears civilian clothing well. Especially an outfit he'd choose for himself.

Kaidan nodded at him once the doors closed, wondering why he was on the Citadel. Here for business? His outfit suggested otherwise.

“Heading over to the Alliance outposts?” Hackett asked. "Or something else entirely?"

Being with Nyx meant that Kaidan had become closer to Hackett. They're friends, and he was easier to approach and talk to than he expected. A quiet understanding between them, both knowing they were the few who knew of Nyx’s secret biotics.

Even with Nyx's complicated feelings, still lingering to this day.

There were times when Kaidan wondered why Nyx chose him, especially after the Battle and when he took it upon himself to introduce the two over drinks. Kaidan didn't fully feel like an outsider, but he could see the history and chemistry between them and felt like Nyx wasn't the only one between them that still carried a torch.

But he and Nyx have never been better. Nyx had opened up more and was freer with his affection, his parents seemed to like him, and well, the sex was great too.

Kaidan nodded. “The Spectre ranges are great, but I prefer something closer to home.”

“Nyx not joining you?” he observed.

“Still out with some friends of his. Think he's using that as a way to get some more information rather than catching up. He invited me, but…” Kaidan trailed off, rubbing his neck. “Not my scene.”

“Though you two were in your honeymoon period,” he chuckled. Kaidan felt his cheeks heat up but didn't exactly argue. “After the Battle, I think he took that as a sign to not be so goddamn hesitant with what he has.”

“Things… have been good,” Kaidan said, hesitating a little. “Still the same stoic bastard, but I get a lot more hugs now,” he laughed, testing the waters. Hackett gave him a knowing look, and he wasn't quite sure what to make of it.

This is the first time he's actually become acquainted with a partner’s ex and wanted to get to know them more beyond passing.

“Ah, always such a clingy bastard. Wouldn’t know it until he lets his walls down,” he said fondly. “I’m happy he finally has someone he can trust. More than just someone who can watch his back.”

“I got the impression he wasn’t used to having a squad with him. And when he told me more about his history, I was surprised he even accepted the Normandy.”

“As was I,” Hackett replied. “I warned Anderson that Nyx would likely refuse, but I ended up owing him credits.”

Kaidan couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at that. “You know, Nyx has never really told me about how he ended up in the position. Well, at the time, we were still in the awkwardness of finding out he was going to be my superior officer.”

In this moment, there was something about Hackett that was easy to open up and be more relaxed with. Maybe it was the inherent awkwardness of the Citadel elevators, but Kaidan wouldn’t mind if this trip lasted a little longer.

“Nyx has always cared about the rules until it starts to impact him,” Hackett said with a smile. “He chose it mostly out of duty, but I think a part of him missed action despite some of his past. Always wanting to be on the move or–” Hackett cut himself when the elevator’s lights started to flicker and the movement slowed until it stopped between floors with a bit of a creak.

Well, he got his wish.

“Shit,” Kaidan cursed, glancing over at the panel to hunt for an emergency call option. Sure, he could get easy access to the panels and climb his way out, but where they were could make that futile. Best to leave C-Sec to try and get them out.

And it wasn’t like he was Nyx and going to be shooting out the glass as a last resort to dealing with the Reaper threat either.

Before he pressed the emergency call button, Hackett activated his omnitool. “I'll message Nyx, but since he's technically on leave…”

“Everything is silenced,” Kaidan sighed. “I've tried to break him of that, but he won't even–”

“Put an exception in for me,” he and Hackett finished together. They shared a long look before breaking out into a bit of laughter.

“So, the bastard hasn't changed,” Hackett said, shaking his head.

“Too damn set in his ways,” Kaidan replied, hitting the call button. He expected C-Sec to be delayed for a while, still dealing with all the repercussions of the attack.

He went ahead and sent a quick message to Nyx anyway, just in case, but he doubted it would be seen anytime soon.

“Elevator W-AD1, this is Officer T’Seva. We've been getting multiple reports of elevator faults across the wards. May I get your names and status?”

Kaidan cleared his throat. “Spectre Kaidan Alenko and Alliance Admiral Steven Hackett. We’re fine and in no current distress, so please, don’t feel like you have to prioritize us over others. Do you need my credentials?”

“I don’t think that will be necessary, thank you, Spectre. I can connect you to some of my superiors, but there’s not much we can do until we can individually evaluate every elevator.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kaidan said, glancing over at Hackett, who nodded in agreement. “Take your time. Prioritize what you need. We can sit tight.”

“I’ll send that message over. We apologize for any inconvenience this has caused. Ever since the battle,” they trailed off. “You both are likely well aware of everything that’s been going on.”

“We understand,” Hackett spoke up. “We’ll let you know if we run into any issues.”

“Thank you. Again, we apologize for any inconvenience, and we hope we can get to you soon. It appears by your diagnostics there’s something we can fix on site once we arrive. Be careful, and call us if anything changes.”

A part of him wanted to know what exactly was wrong with the elevator, but if he really wanted to find out, he could just hack into the panel and provide external power via his omnitool himself.

Maybe it's better to remain ignorant.

“It’s alright. Thank you,” Kaidan said, and the officer ended the call. With a glanced look over at Hackett, they both signed and sat down on the floor of the elevator, facing each other.

“Did you get a message through to Nyx?” he asked, crossing his arms against his chest.

“It looks like it was sent,” Kaidan replied. “Didn’t bounce back.”

“Good enough. What exactly is he doing, by the way?”

“Catching up with some old friends of his. They were going to bar crawl, and I wasn’t interested.”

“Not your scene?”

“Something like that.” Kaidan tapped the back of his neck. “L2. I don’t do well with bright lights and loud noises.”

Hackett winced in sympathy. “Right. You’ve done well despite–or should I say in spite of–that implant.”

“It’s merely a tool I've learned how to shape and use to my advantage. Got a few dents and scratches, but who doesn’t?”

“You’ve got that right.” Hackett glanced around. “Are there–?” He made a motion with his hand, gesturing around.

Kaidan did a quick scan with his omnitool and nodded. “Won’t take me but a second to throw up a privacy field.”

“They know there’s a Spectre and an Alliance in here, I doubt it’ll raise too much suspicion.”

“I don’t know,” Kaidan couldn’t help but grin. “The wrong officer sees it and starts spinning all kinds of tales.”

“One superior officer is not enough for you?” He teased back, and Kaidan laughed as he activated the privacy field, scrambling the camera feed and muting the audio.

He was a bit surprised Hackett played along.

“Maybe not. The perks are just so good,” Kaidan said, focusing his gaze on Hackett, a smirk tugging at his lips. “The benefits alone make it worth it.”

And he couldn't deny that Hackett was quite the handsome man. The same things that drew him to Nyx drew him to Hackett. Scars, voices, the way they held themselves… and he knew damn well his tastes often went to older men in his fantasies.

Hackett crossed his arms against his chest, raising an eyebrow. “Didn’t expect this from you.”

“I don’t see you complaining,” Kaidan said, keeping his tone neutral. “Allow me to be serious for a moment?”

“Thought you already were,” he challenged.

Kaidan nodded, leaning back against the elevator wall. “Part of me was. Nyx never stopped having feelings for you, you know.”

“Trust me, I’m well aware,” he said quietly. “And what does that have to do with–”

“It has everything to do with this. Because you obviously still care for him a lot,” Kaidan said, softening his expression. “At first, I felt like I was competing for something that I would never live up to, but later, I felt like Nyx simply had too much love in his heart for one person. I know he loves me, I feel it and we’ve been great, but–” Kaidan stood up and sat down next to Hackett, watching as he followed his every move with his gaze. “I wonder if he’ll be happier if he has us both.”

“So, you’re testing the waters with me, seeing if what, this could be more than us sharing him?”

“Even if it doesn’t work between us, that doesn’t mean this won’t work,” Kaidan replied. “All I see is an opportunity to get what we all want. Nyx, and something more.”

Hackett snorted but something lingered in his expression. “You're a good man, Kaidan. Sorry you got dragged into our decades long mess.”

“I’m not,” Kaidan moved closer. “I think we should all have a long talk once we get out of this mess and after we chew Nyx out for keeping us on mute, yes?”

“I think we should too.” He smiled, and Kaidan believed it to be genuine, tugging on his scar and pulling it across his face quite handsomely. “I’ve… denied my own feelings for him for years, wanting him to move on. But I think we were doomed from the goddamn start.” He shook his head. “As saving each other's lives changes your mindset quite a bit.”

“I'm familiar.” Kaidan closed his eyes, and he flashed back to Virmire, activating the bomb and Nyx refusing to choose between him and Ash, nearly jeopardizing the mission and losing some of the Normandy’s marine detail in the process. He flashed back to the beacon, to Nyx’s anguished cry to move out of the way when the debris of the ship and of the tower threatened to crush him and Ash.

Kaidan felt like he hadn't had the chance to really return the favor.

“And you’ve been impacted by that as well, I see.” Hackett said, giving him a knowing look.

Kaidan blinked before nodding. “A few times.”

“He's a devoted man to the people he loves.”

“That he is,” Kaidan breathed out. He turned to look over at Hackett, his eyes glancing down at the man’s lips. “I would kiss you right now, but I don’t want to do this without Nyx.”

He let out a surprised laugh. “We are of the same damn mind, Alenko.”

“Call me Kaidan.”

“Then you call me Steven.” His eyes flicked down to Kaidan’s lips. “To think we all have similar scars.”

Damn, he was right. They all had something on their lips. Kaidan's was the least severe out of the three, though.

“Where did you get yours?” He asked.

Kaidan felt no need to hide it, figuring Steven already knew. “BAaT. When Vyrnmus attacked me after I lashed out.”

He nodded. “First Contact War for me.” Kaidan could've guessed, and he didn't elaborate.

“And Nyx as well,” Kaidan said. “He's been more open about that than I expected. About a lot of things.”

“Such as his exposure,” he said pointedly, and Kaidan shrugged. “I knew you were something special when he told me how he reacted during his little game that damn near backfired on him.”

“Nyx is a goddamn idiot,” Kaidan chuckled. “But I still liked him despite that. When we got together, that first night, he said he saw a man he could trust.” Kaidan glanced over at Steven, who nodded and motioned for him to keep going.

“And he wanted something specific out of me, so I was extra observant to make sure he was still enjoying himself, you know? I've been with a few biotics, not many, and there's a common theme: we let loose in pleasure. It's hard to avoid, even for someone like me. I saw blue rimmed eyes that night, and I told myself it was a trick of the light. I never told him that I noticed, and he never said anything to me about it. Maybe he didn't even notice he did it,” Kaidan finished his little tale with a sigh. “Didn't have any of the telltale signs of a current gen, so I just tucked it away in the back of my mind. Even after he told me the truth, I didn't dwell on it.”

“I've tried my best to keep him protected from his anomaly, and I appreciate your discretion. I've always worried with his… proclivities that something would come out. Never did,” Hackett admitted. “Granted, he has an experimental implant and amp to help with that, but I'm a protective bastard, he would say.”

“Nothing wrong with that. I like that in a person,” Kaidan said. “I should tell him, but at this point, I don't want him to worry.”

“Your secret is safe with me,” he replied with a wry smile.

“Thanks.” Kaidan adjusted his position, pulling a leg up.

“I'm tempted to call them back so we can get out of here sooner,” Hackett muttered.

“You and me both, but no need to waste resources on us just because of who we are.”

“Exactly. Doesn't mean that I'm starting to be a little selfish.”

Kaidan laughed. “Ah well. We can deal with that later.”

“Speaking of, have you ever done something like this before?” Hackett asked, changing the subject.

Omega shore leave. Vorcha mafia, 5000 credits, a bottle of whiskey, and two very handsome men.

Kaidan grinned. “Sort of. Had a run in with the vorcha mafia at an ill-advised trip to one of Omega’s casinos. Later I ended up doing well and securing myself a nice sum of credits and an expensive whiskey, but I angered the wrong people in the process.”

He laughed as Steven raised an eyebrow. “You contain many secrets, Kaidan.”

“I contain multitudes,” he laughed. “I guess I’m good at hiding it. Anyway, turns out one of the vorcha I pissed off was a target for a merc, and I got involved with him and his partner in ah… more ways than one. Temporary, but I've never forgotten them.” Memories played out, surely reflected on his face, a smile that was tinged with a hint of sadness. He had their info, but lost it with a bug in his software and hadn't backed it up in time and never tried seeking them out since.

“Looks like they got away from you,” he said softly. “I'm sorry.”

“A part of me was too, but I ended up with something beautiful in the end, so I can't complain,” he shrugged. “I owe it to them for helping me appreciate my biotics a little more. Hadn't been with another L2 before, especially not one that wasn’t at Jump Zero, and well, the merc understood how to be with a biotic.”

“An L2 that wasn't with BAaT?”

“Turns out that after he got the surgery, his asari uncle trained him and later fitted him with an asari amp. Fought like a commando too. Never seen anything like it. Regis was one of a kind for sure.”

“Regis… Shepard?” Steven asked.

How the hell does he know about him?

Kaidan tilted his head to the side, furrowing his eyebrows. “Yeah. Why?”

“Son of Hannah Shepard, another Admiral in the brass. She never was happy that he didn't join the Alliance, but he's a good contact for us about Terminus affairs,” he explained. “Which means the other merc was Zaeed Massani, and that makes this one small goddamn galaxy.”

Kaidan's face broke out into an incredulous expression. “You're shitting me.”

“No, I'm not.” Steven smirked. “Zaeed was Alliance, but for only a bit. Had a short fling with him before he left and before I knew Nyx.”

Kaidan couldn't help but laugh. “So, not only do we share history with one partner, but also have another. Holy shit.”

Steven snorted. “Maybe we're more compatible than we think. To good taste in men.”

“I'll drink to that.” Kaidan looked down at his lap. “Small galaxy indeed,” he echoed.

A silence fell over them, comfortable and warm.

A ping from Kaidan’s omnitool interrupted it. He glanced down, knowing he only had a handful of contacts that he gave notification access to.

NS: You’re stuck in a fucking elevator? With Steven? I’m on my way

“I stand corrected, he did get our message,” Kaidan said, showing the display to him.

“Call him.”

Kaidan put a vid call through, and Nyx answered nearly immediately, on the move. They shared a look.

“No shit, you really are trapped. Apparently it’s been happening all over this sector.”

“Hello to you too, love,” Kaidan rolled his eyes. “But we haven’t been in here that long and–”

“Too late. I’m on my way. Already notified C-Sec to start to get you guys out. You’re too much of a damn gentleman, Kaidan.”

“He’s not the only one who told them to hold off,” Steven interjected. “In case there were actual emergencies more important than our comfort.”

“Oh great, not you too! Selfless bastards. Let me guess, are you two besties now?”

Something like that. They shared a look again, and it didn’t escape Nyx’s notice. He stopped in his tracks and narrowed his eyes. “What happened between you two?”

“Nothing bad, but… we all need to sit down and talk about it,” Kaidan replied.

“Or you can tell me now, since you both seem comfy enough in there.” He cocked his head to the side, not sounding annoyed or angry, just curious.

“Kaidan and I have a proposition for you,” Steven began. “About your relationship. About what could be something between the three of us. Which is why this is far better with us in one room instead of a vid call.”

“Oh!” He widened his eyes. “Fuck, uh… okay. Wow. You really think this could work even after all these years?”

“Only one way to find out. Kaidan proposed it because… quite frankly, Nyx, you aren’t the only one that misses what we had,” Steven said softly. Kaidan reached over to squeeze his hand, and to his delight, he took it and held on tightly.

Nyx closed his eyes, breathed out, and opened them a moment later. “Alright. We can talk. Kaidan, you asked for this? Even though…” he trailed off, looking unsure.

“Nyx, I love you, and I want you to be happy. And I can't deny that I can see something working between all of us. But even if Steven and I find that we don’t work, that doesn't mean we can’t still have this between you two and between you and me..” Kaidan punctuated his statement by gesturing between them. “And well, you know what I like.” He grinned.

“Shit, Kay, I love you too, you know that. And, yes, I know what you like. Hell, a part of me has selfishly thought about this too, though in ah… more compromising positions than this.” Nyx smiled.

“Never change, Nyx,” Steven said, starting to lean against Kaidan.

“Don’t plan on it. I’m on my way. Oh and feel free to, well, spend your time however you like until we get there.” He winked and shut off the call.

A message popped up a moment later, addressed to the both of them.

NS: C-Sec told me they’ll be there in fifteen. That gives you at least ten ;)

Cheeky bastard.

Steven let out a breathy laugh. “Obviously, we need to talk about this far more than that, but… what do you think?”

Kaidna smiled, leaning in closer. “I think it went well. He gave us a ringing endorsement, so why not spend those–” he glanced down at his omnitool– “next few minutes getting to know each other a little bit more.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

Steven made the first move, closing the distance between them, first with a soft, chaste kiss, testing the waters. Kaidan chased after him when he broke away, deepening the kiss and climbing into his lap. He made a surprised sound when Kaidan settled on top of him, pulling him in closer and tangling a hand into his hair. Fuck, he was good at this, Kaidan biting back a moan as Steven started to explore his mouth.

“Don’t tell me you like to be quiet,” Steven said, breathing against his lips.

Kaidan chuckled, moving to kiss down his neck, pushing away his turtleneck. “Didn’t want you to think I was easy. No, I like it loud…” he nipped a kiss just underneath where the collar of the turtleneck sat. “I like it rough…” he licked a stripe up to his ear to purr into and nip at the lobe. “I love it public, even.”

To his surprise, Steven only laughed, keeping a hand tangled in his hair. “Good. I think you and I will be just fine together.”

For a brief moment Kaidan wondered exactly how similar they were and if that factored into Nyx choosing him and staying with him.

“Yeah? I look forward to finding out more,” Kaidan said, leaning in to kiss him once more, but the elevator shifted and the panel started to ring. Right.

Kaidan lifted himself off of him and watched Hackett adjust his pants before he got up out of the corner of his eye. He cleared his throat and accepted the call. “Hello?”

“Hey Spectre. It’s Bailey. We’re getting you two out thanks to your fellow Spectre. Mechanical failure and software failure, nasty business. You’ll be moving again before you know it.”

“Thanks,” Kaidan replied. “Let us know if you need us for anything.” He hoped he didn't sound out of breath.

“We have it covered. Just sit tight for a little longer.”

The call hung up and they both let out a sigh of relief. Kaidan leaned against the back wall of the elevator. “Almost got too carried away.”

“You clearly aren't sorry about that.”

“You're right. I'm not.”

The elevator’s lights flickered and suddenly it started to move. A few moments later, it stopped on its original destination, and on the other side, Nyx was waiting for them, along with some C-Sec personnel.

“Good, you two didn't kill each other,” Nyx laughed, leaning in to kiss Kaidan's cheek as he walked out. “Are you still planning on going over to the ranges or…?” He looked expectant.

“I think I just want to relax for a while. Let's go back to the apartment,” Kaidan said, taking his boyfriend's hand. “Might make some good food, if you want to join us, Admiral.”

“Lead the way,” he replied, and they headed over to the nearest transport hub.

– –

The moment they were inside their apartment, they all immediately headed over to the large couch Nyx insisted on buying for them. Now, Kaidan was thankful to have it, all three of them able to sit comfortably after taking off their shoes.

Nyx sat in the middle, his hands in his lap. “First, I have to ask: Were you two making out when they called y’all back?”

Kaidan sighed in exasperation as Steven snorted. “What do you think is the answer to that, Nyx?” Steven asked, nudging him on the shoulder.

“A damn shame you two threw up that privacy field, is what I’m going to say to that. I guess… you both found out you two are a helluva lot more similar than you both realized,” he admitted, not meeting either one of their eyes.

“Hey, look at me,” Kaidan said, gently turning Nyx’s face towards him. “I’m not mad that you clearly have a type. I mean, I do too.” He laughed, trying to break up the tension. It seemed to work by the way Nyx’s shoulders relaxed. “It just means that we may end up being more compatible than we realized.”

“Or maybe not,” Steven replied, though not out of any malice. He kept his tone light as he continued, “but we won’t know unless we try. And we can still both love you, Nyx, even if we don’t end up feeling that way for each other.”

Nyx closed his eyes, leaning back into the couch, letting out a deep breath. “Yeah, you’re both right, as loathe am I to admit it. I want both of you. Ever since I met you, Kaidan, and you took care of me that night the way I needed, God… you became special to me in a way I haven’t felt in many years.” Kaidan squeezed his hand. “And Steven, you were the one I let get away and I’m sorry.”

“Maybe you were,” Steven began, and Kaidan saw him reach out for Nyx’s other hand. “But that distance may have been good for us. Don’t apologize for something that ended up being good for us in the end.”

“Time will tell on that,” Nyx said, looking at both of them. “I know Kaidan has had his own experiences with poly relationships, but have you…?”

Steven shook his head. “You know I’ve never been one for dalliances the way you were. No, this is new territory for me too. Kaidan told me a bit about his time.”

“Oh, he did?” Nyx smiled, taking a second to pull his hair out of his long ponytail, letting the silvery strands fall down and lay on his shoulders. “Sounds like you two got real acquainted.”

“We did,” Kaidan said with a purr. “We need to go out sometime as the two of us, to get there even more.”

“Kaidan, if you keep up that voice, we’re going to go a lot farther on this damn couch than just a conversation,” Nyx warned, shaking his head. Kaidan pecked his cheek, glancing at Steven who watched in interest.

“We do need to go out as couples a few times. I’ll be on the Citadel for a while longer, so I want to take you both out separately. See where this goes… get to know the man that claimed your heart,” Steven said, his own voice falling into a husky purr.

Nyx held his head in his hands. “Fucking hell there’s two of you now.”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” Kaidan leaned in to whisper into his ear, watching him shudder. “I want to hear all about those fantasies. What positions we were in, what you were doing.”

“What we were doing,” Steven continued from the other side.

Nyx took another deep breath. “Yeah. One day. I’ll do whatever you two want. But now? I’m hungry and that bar food wasn’t enough for me and my metabolism.”

“Lucky for you, you have a biotic boyfriend who understands. I’ll make my Mom’s chicken noodle soup. Good, hearty, and my way of sharing the love,” Kaidan said, getting up from the couch.

“Nyx raves about your cooking, but I think he misses being behind a real grill,” Steven said, stretching himself out on the couch. Nyx nodded at the mention, Kaidan familiar with how much his man loves to grill, even impressing his father when they were prepping for dinner. “I’m a bit of a chef myself.”

“Oh, really?” Kaidan asked, making his way over to the small kitchen, starting by washing his hands. “We’ll need to compare notes. Most of my recipes are modified for our increased caloric intake, but I make Mom’s soup as authentic as I can.”

“I still keep my modified notes from when we found out about his exposure. I’ll take you up on that offer,” he said. Kaidan felt something in him soften at that.

Kaidan started to gather the ingredients, laying them all out on the table before he started putting the basic stock together. He grabbed his favorite stock pot and put it on heat, tossing a few tablespoons of butter in. To his surprise, Steven got up to join him. “Need some help dicing and slicing?”

“Could always use an extra hand,” Kaidan said with a nod. “Dice those carrots, celery, and onions for me.” He grabbed a few cloves of garlic and started to mince them, motioning over to a nearby cabinet that had a spare cutting board.

Steven nodded and got to work. “Am I going to get the recipe after this?”

“You’ll have to meet my parents first,” Kaidan replied with a wink, smiling while Nyx laughed as he got up to join them, leaning against the edge of the island.

“Already making plans to introduce him to the Alenkos…” Nyx said with a teasing lilt to his voice. “How long did it take for you to take me over to them?”

“Remember, we were on the Normandy for how long?” Kaidan chuckled. “And they ended up loving you, so you had nothing to worry about.”

Steven looked only a little hesitant, slowing down his dicing before recovering.

“Don’t worry. My parents… have a lot of love to give. They’ll approve,” Kaidan said, but a part of him knew that his father was worried enough about the rank difference between him and Nyx. Not that it really mattered with both of their Spectre statuses, but introducing Steven into the mix is going to make things… interesting.

Better see how this goes before he mentions it to his parents.

“Sounds like Nyx’s family,” Steven said, scraping the vegetables into the pot at Kaidan’s nod. “You’re Earthborn too, right?”

Kaidan nodded. “Around Vancouver. My family has a beautiful orchard we call home.”

He waited for him to elaborate on his own origins but he didn’t. Nyx didn’t offer anything either, so Kaidan wasn’t going to pry just yet. He started to stir the vegetables, adding the garlic after a couple of minutes passed. “Chicken’s in the fridge, if one of you could grab that for me. I’ll let it cook in the stock and with my Mom’s seasoning mix, and in less than an hour, we’ll have our soup.”

Nyx nodded and grabbed the requested ingredient. Kaidan tossed in some of the seasoning mix, careful to not let Steven see too much of the process, just to be a little shit. He eyeballed the amount of chicken stock he needed and grabbed the wrapped chicken thighs, placing them in the stock after bringing it to a boil. He reduced the heat to a simmer and covered the stock and chicken and set a timer on omnitool to check it later to make sure everything had cooked through. “Alright, out of my kitchen,” Kaidan said, washing his hands again. “Won’t be done for a while, so let’s find something to watch while we wait, hmm?”

Nyx, of course, found a pre-eezo discovery sci-fi film to watch, enjoying his tradition of grading old-Earth sci-fi to see how accurate they were. Kaidan found it endearing and adorable, the way he kept a meticulous spreadsheet of his personal ratings and opinions.

Nyx grabbed the knit blanket they kept folded over the back of the couch and unfolded it over them.

Kaidan settled against Steven, never quite resisting a good cuddle, and relaxed as the movie began. He could get used to this so easily, he realized. The intimacy of making food together, working in a kitchen and knowing where the other was at any time.

Steven wrapped an arm around Kaidan and pulled him in closer as he leaned in to peck Nyx on the lips, soft and sweet, a contrast to what Kaidan and Steven got up to in the damn elevator. Nyx let out a surprised sound and with a chuckle, he pulled him in closer, deepening the kiss. Kaidan watched them with a soft smile on his face, seeing how the former ex-lovers relaxed into each other, a familiarity and ease that quickly overcame any awkwardness they initially had.

“I missed this,” Nyx admitted quietly, just loud enough for the both of them to hear, breaking apart from the kiss with a sigh.

“Me too,” Steven replied, vulnerable and open and soft.

Kaidan saw their years apart melt away.

“And now I want to see what I missed,” Nyx teased, motioning towards him and Steven. “If you two want, of course.”

“I think we can manage,” Steven said, his piercing eyes landing on Kaidan. First, Kaidan had to deal with Nyx’s gene modded purples, and now he’s dealing with Steven’s icy blue.

Kaidan answered by leaning in for a kiss, pressing his lips softly against Steven’s, letting out a pleased sigh as he parted his lips, letting him take the lead. He heard Nyx make a happy noise from beside them, clearly enjoying the show. They kept it relatively chaste, merely enjoying making out like teenagers on the couch, but it was new territory for them.

They’ll have plenty of time to explore later.

When they broke apart, Steven asked, face a little flushed, “So, Kaidan, what do you like to go out and eat.”

And all Kaidan could do was laugh and give him a smile.

This could work, according to the stirring in his heart and the pleasant heat throughout his body. Someone who understands Nyx and his past and his secrets. Someone who’s been through it all.

Someone who also knows Kaidan’s secrets.

He had to admit to himself that it was nice not having BAaT hanging over him, already knowing that Hackett knew part of the story because of his file. One day, he’ll give him the full story, and maybe he’ll hear some more stories of their past. Of the war they both fought in and survived. For now, though, Kaidan was content waiting for his meal to be done and relaxing with what could be the best opportunity he’s had since the Normandy posting.

#mass effect #kaidan alenko #mshenko #male shepard #steven hackett #nyx shepard #cleric's writing #now I need a ship name for this triad

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