#the ministry of silly walks is calling

[littlehorrorshop]

Ghosts | 4.02

[bupia]

Love letter: Chapter 2 - Cardinal Copia x Fem!Reader

Summary: After a long and arduous Saturday, Sunday finally arrived. For the first time in months, you were not too excited to see Cardinal Copia in the Sunday’s black mass.

Words: 5.346

Warnings: Some Italian swearing / Teasing / Smut next chapter.

Check the Chapter 1  Check the amazing art by @quaildoodle​ based on the end of this Chapter

After reading the letter you found, your feelings were mixed up, something between confusion, curiosity, and a bit of excitement. The mere possibility that the letter could be addressed to me stirred a whirlwind of thoughts and self-reflection. You wanted to believe that the way Cardinal Copia acted around you could be the reason why he would write a letter like this to you.

Even if it was not for you, if Cardinal Copia is in love with someone from the Ministry, then that person is lucky. Not only because they were able to capture Cardinal's feelings, but also because they would have Cardinal all to themselves. It was hard not to fall for Cardinal Copia; he was special in his own way. His unique charm, charisma, and enigmatic persona had drawn you in. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but you couldn't shake off the feeling that it could have been meant for you. But who were you trying to fool if not yourself?

You spent the entire Saturday hiding the letter in your habit's pocket just to make sure you wouldn't lose it. On weekends, the Ministry was more crowded than on normal weekdays, and also, it was the cleaning day. It would get even worse on Sundays, especially due to the preparations for black mass, so every room would get cleaned from the ceiling to the floor, you couldn't risk to get it falling into the wrong hands. 

On Sundays like that, most of the siblings would get excited to be in Papa's presence, but not you. You would wait for the Sunday black mass just to catch a glimpse of Cardinal Copia. After Friday, you would wait to meet him over the weekend or at the Sunday black mass. However, today was different. You weren't prepared to see him yet.

As the morning had already passed and lunchtime had been over for a few hours, you decided to go out and enjoy some free time in the garden. You still had a few hours to enjoy the rest of the afternoon before the black mass started. You needed to leave those marble walls for a while to breathe some fresh air and clear your mind. You had to get that silly love letter and the fact that Cardinal Copia was in love with someone else off your mind. But before you had the chance to go out, you heard your name being called from a distance.

"Sister, please wait!" You stopped walking and turned to face the voice. "Please, wait!" Sister Helena was running to catch up with you. "Get back! Wait!"

"Sister Helena!" You greeted her with an endearing smile. "What's going on? Is something wrong?"

"No, everything's fine. With me.” She giggles. “I just came after you because Cardinal Copia is asking for your presence in his office." 

You were immediately frozen upon hearing Cardinal's name. Today was Sunday, why would he need to see you in his office? You didn't expect to see him until black mass. You looked at her confused because this was not a common occurrence.

"I met him in the corridor with Sister Imperator and he asked me to find you."

With a mixture of anticipation and trepidation, you hurriedly made your way towards Cardinal Copia's office, not even stopping to apologize as you bumped into some people in your path. If Cardinal Copia was asking for you, it was because something had happened, so this was not the right moment to avoid him. But, what did he need to discuss with me that prompted his urgent call? 

As you approached his office, you were already feeling nervous. Getting close to the door of his office at the end of the long corridor, you took a deep breath and took some steps until you were in front of it. You raised your arm and knocked twice, but there was no sound. You pressed your ear against the door. No sound.

You decide to reach for the doorknob and open the door enough to poke your head into the office and look around. There is no sign of Cardinal. Suddenly, you see Cardinal Copia coming out of a door that connects his office to the Ministry's archive room, with Terzo following closely behind him, fixing his white glove on his hand. You retract your head slightly, using the half-opened door as cover.

"Perché cazzo non me l'hai detto?" Cardinal says in an acerbic tone, going to his desk and putting the file folder he had in his hands on it. "This is not how it should be, fratello!"

"Fratello! Sai che io sono il Papa! And as Papa, I can make some decisions without consulting the clergy or you." He says, giving him a sarcastic smile. "Especially this one."

"Non dire stronzate!" Cardinal turns his body in Terzo's direction. You've never seen Cardinal talking and acting like that before. "Sì, you are the Papa, Fratello. But I'm your counselor, and I would expect you to see me as such." Terzo giggles and puts a hand on Cardinal's shoulder, but Cardinal removes it almost immediately.

"I've already decided it." Terzo says in a serious tone. "I know what I'm doing."

Cardinal sighs. "Don't get me wrong, fratello, I'm not disappointed." He turns his back to Terzo walking to the window close to his desk opening the curtains. "I just wished you've told me before."

"Mi dispiace." Terzo let out a heavy breath. "Also, we have company." He turns his face to the door, looking directly at you. Cardinal turns his gaze to the door, seeing your face trying to hide behind the door. "So I guess we will talk later after the black mass, Cardinal." He walked to the door, opening it, and gesturing for you to pass through.

"Thank you, Papa." You say as you step inside the office, giving Terzo an adoring smile, but your eyes turn back to Cardinal Copia almost immediately, feeling anxious thinking that you may have interrupted a serious conversation. 

"Prego, Sorellina." Terzo replies in a flirty voice. "So, you are the sorella who assists my fratellino?" You notice Cardinal's eyebrows drawing together, as if he is annoyed by the sarcastic tone coming out of Terzo's question.

"Yes, Papa." You voice your words respectfully, noting his gaze taking you in from head to toe.

"Posso capire perché mio fratello ha scelto te." His words were incomprehensible to you, but before you could say anything, Terzo left the office and shut the door.

"Cazzo!" Cardinal spoke in a voice slightly above a normal level.

You approach him, resting a hand on his back rubbing it in circles, looking worriedly at him. He turns his face to you, looking into your eyes and letting out a heavy sigh from his lips, you could feel him relaxing his tense body with your touch.

"Sorella..." He murmurs closing his eyes. "I'm sorry that you had to witness this scene." The soft tone on his voice sends shivers down your spine. It sounded almost as if he was purring.

"It's okay, Cardinal. I won't tell anyone about it." You assure him removing your hand from his back resting it on his arm. He turns his attention in our direction opening his eyes. "Do- I mean, can you talk about what happened between you and Papa?"

"Terzo came to talk to me today about something he's going to announce during black mass tonight. But he could have talked to me about it before deciding on it, before he went ahead with it." The way Cardinal spoke about it made it sound like something serious was coming.

You and Cardinal Copia had a friendly relationship. After working together for months, you felt like he trusted you enough to discuss more personal topics.

"But wh-" He interrupts you by pressing one of his fingers on your lips, shushing you. You feel your face heating up from the touch of his gloved finger against your lips. He take a quick look at your lips before turning his gaze away. Casting him an embarrassed glance, your face warm with his contact, your lips slightly parted. Not a single word can be uttered. Also, you are pretty sure that you squeezed his arm, reacting to the light pressure of his finger.

"Don't mind about it now, cara. I think it will be better to hear it from him." Leaving your lips, he places his hand on top of yours caressing the back of your hand with his thumb.

"Yeah..." You said almost in a whisper still being able to feel the pressure of his finger against your lips. Shaking your head, you clean your throat preparing to speak again. "By the way, Cardinal, why did you call me? What can I do for you?"

"Oh, sì, sì.” He let your hand go to get the file folder from the desk. "Sister Imperator came and gave me this just before Terzo arrived and started bothering me with his shallow talk." You giggle at the way he talks about Terzo. "She asked me to finish them before black mass, so if you're not busy this afternoon, I'd like to borrow your help."

"Of course, Cardinal!” You removed your hand from his arm and quickly made your way to your desk, hearing him clear his throat right after.

"D-Do you think w-we could see it to-together on my desk?" he stuttered. "You know, it would be more practical, and we could finish it faster if we worked together. Two heads think better than one, sì?" He gave you a nervous smile.

"Yes!" Your voice came out in a very excited tone leaning you to blush right after because of his offer. To be honest, there was no point in doing it together side by side as he suggested to you. You both could do it as you always have, but would you have refuse his suggestion?

Rolling the wheels of your chair towards his desk, you tried to avoid his gaze, hoping to hide your red cheeks. He moved his chair to the side, making room for you to place yours next to his. As you settled in, he began pulling files out of the folder. There weren't many files to review, which made you wonder once again why you both had to review them together, but you didn't want to complain.

"Eh... scusi, sorella." He said timidly, reaching over you to open a drawer beside you. His arm extended almost touching your chest and resting on your thighs while he rummaged through the drawer. You bit your bottom lip, holding your breath and keeping your body motionless. He took a glasses case out of the drawer closing it and retracted his arm to his side. You relaxed your chest and breathed out through your mouth. "The lack of light makes me need my glasses to read. Age is cruel, cara." He said reaching for the lamp on his desk, he turned it on, grabbing the glasses out of the case.

"I can imagine, Cardinal." You nod focusing on the papers in front of you. You heard a pleasant laugh coming from his shuttered lips. 

For some time, you and Cardinal remain in silence and a subtle tension seemed to linger in the air. But, you kept focusing on the papers and exchanging them with him to give it a deeper review. But when his leg touches yours, you let out an involuntary whine. You rapidly cross your legs, pressing your lips against each other.

The room fell into silence once more and the weight of the unspoken words filled the space between us. The tension remained palpable as Cardinal Copia's gaze  fell upon your lap.

"What is this?" he inquired pointing at your lap.

"What?" you followed his gaze and noticed he was staring at a part of the letter that was sticking out of your pocket. The letter was still there. You quickly put your hand inside your pocket, pushing the letter back in. "It's just something one of my siblings gave me." You said in a modulated voice, trying to hide your nervousness.

"I see..." He nodded, drawing his eyebrows together before returning his attention to the paper before him.

Internally, you cursed yourself for the slip-up, but you quickly shifted your focus to another paper, grasping it in an attempt to divert attention from the lingering tension. Glancing sideways at Cardinal Copia, you observed that he remained immersed in his task, seemingly unaffected by what he saw. You let out a sigh of relief, thinking that he might have believed your explanation.

Cardinal reaches for the lamp on his desk and turns it off. Judging by his action, black mass was almost near to start. "Are you finished with those?" he asks, looking at you as he removes his glasses.

"Almost, Cardinal. Just a few more papers to go." You reply, reading the last lines of the file and putting the pen aside. He gets up from his chair and goes straight to a hatstand in the corner of the room, getting his biretta and placing it on his head.

"How does it looks?" Lifting your head, you look at him and give him a genuine smile.

"It looks good, just..." You get up and walk towards him, closing the distance between you two. Your hands reach out for his hair, delicately brushing through the strands of his hair, smoothing them behind his ears and ensuring they fit neatly inside his biretta. The whole time, you was able to feel his gaze on you. "Now it looks better, Cardinal.” You murmured softly, your hands trailing down from his hair to his neck, then finding its place on his shoulder, eventually coming to rest upon his chest.

"G- Grazie.” You felt the erratic beats of his heart against the palm of your hand, he was still staring at you causing you to blush. "Should we be going now?" he asked, breaking the spell as he shifted his gaze towards the door. You nodded in response, retracting your hands from his chest and stepping back slightly. Cardinal Copia took the lead, making his way towards the door and holding it open for you to pass through. As you exited his office, he followed closely behind, shutting the door behind him.

As you walked side by side,  towards the chapel, you could hear the talk in the corridors, filled with siblings laughing and chatting about their excitement to see Papa today.

Almost reaching the chapel, Cardinal Copia stopped in his tracks and grabbed your hand, causing you to stop just one step away from him in an empty corridor. The touch of his hand sent a jolt of electricity through you, causing your heart to skip a beat.

"Sorella, you don't need to come with me. I'll get ready for the black mass with the clergy members." 

"Are you sure, Cardinal? The-" You turned towards Cardinal Copia, your eyes meeting his as he took a step closer, stopping in front of you, causing you to unintentionally shush. "I-I..." You swallowed your words as you felt him caressing the back of your hand with his thumb, moving his hand almost tangling his fingers with yours.

"Don't worry, sorella. I need to look for Terzo, anyway." You nodded timidly, taking the first step to walk away from him, letting go of his hand. Trying to avoid his gaze, you stumbled on his foot, his arm instinctively wrapped around your waist, providing support and preventing you from falling, you held onto his arm with both hands, allowing his grip to guide and steady you. The closeness between you both intensified. "Be careful, sorella!" Your face flushed with a deep shade of red as you felt his hand resting on your waist and the firm grip of it. He brought you closer to him making your hold on his arm tighter. "Mi dispiace, sorella. It was my fault." Cardinal said in a gentle and apologetic tone.

"It's okay, Cardinal. I-I should have been more careful." Your voice trembled slightly, betraying the mixture of emotions swirling within you. With his arm still securely around your waist, you stood there momentarily, immersed in the feeling of his touch. Slowly he let your waist go. "I'll see you at the black mass!" You said as you made your way far from him going back to the previous corridor to catch up with your friends from before.

"Look who is here!" Sister Gretta said making all of the four siblings look at your direction as you approached them with a smile growing in your face.

"Look if is not the Cardinal's favorite... sorella." Sister Olga said in a ironic tone, giving you a tight hug.

"I'm not his favorite! I just work with him." You giggled, hugging Sister Olga.

"Of course it's 'just work' when you spend the whole day in a closed office until late at night." Sister Ana said, causing you to let go of the hug with Sister Olga.

"Oh, you!. There are just a lot of boring papers to read, and it takes time to read them all, that's all."

"Do you know if maybe Papa needs an assistant too?" You heard them all laughing at Sister Victoria's question. "Stop it, girls! I mean it. Oh, I'd kill to be Papa's assistant!" She brought both of her hands to her chest.

"Yes!" Sister Jade reached for your arm, holding it. "Please, if you know something about Papa, you have to let us know.”

"But he already has an assistant!" You let out a loud laugh, looking at their curious, but confused faces. "It's Cardinal! Cardinal is his assistant. Well, actually, he is his counselor."

"Wait! What?" Jade rested her hands on her hips turning her face trying to assimilate what you've just said. You try not to laugh again, seeing them looking at each other confused by what you said.

"Well... I can't say more than I already have. But, I don't think Terzo is open to having any assistants." They all looked disappointed. "However, I do know that we need to go now to the chapel so we can see Papa. And judging by the time, we can get front row seats." With those words, there was a sudden change in their mood and they all smiled, starting to walk towards the chapel.

As you and your group of friends entered the chapel with the other siblings, they hurried their steps just to be able to sit on the first bench. The energy in the air was palpable as siblings filled the space, their voices blending into a lively hum of conversation and anticipation. The atmosphere buzzed with a sense of reverence and anticipation, as everyone prepared themselves for the forthcoming black mass. 

After some time waiting, a melody filled the chapel, causing all the siblings to hush and wait for it to start. The members of the clergy were starting to enter the chapel one by one. Your eyes were fixed on where Cardinal Copia would come from. When he entered the chapel, you quickly turned your gaze in another direction. Terzo entered right after the members, and the siblings gave him all their attention. You could swear you heard some of them sigh as if they were melting in his presence. At this moment, you couldn't take your eyes off him, not because you were also melting in his presence, but because of the clothes he was wearing - some kind of white suit with golden embroidery and... golden shoes?

As the black mass began, your gaze shifted away from Terzo's figure and went to Cardinal Copia. He looked imposing, but then his eyes started scanning the room from side to side, as if he was unable to move his head. Perhaps he was searching for someone, possibly the recipient of the letter? It was certainly a possibility. Of course, you followed his gaze, trying to find who he was looking for. Gradually, your eyes followed his path until they met his. You tried to look away, but it was too late as he was already giving you a gentle smile, almost as if he was greeting you. Great! Now that he knew you were following his gaze, he would probably stop looking around, and you would not be able to satisfy your curiosity.

The black mass was going well until now, but you couldn't help but notice Cardinal Copia's posture in his chair. A subtle discomfort seemed to emanate from him, causing a flicker of concern to surface within you. Instinctively, you recalled the knowledge that Terzo was expected to make an announcement during the black mass. Gazing at Cardinal Copia's expression, a mix of anticipation and apprehension filled his eyes. His gaze shifted intermittently between the crowd and Terzo. It was clear that the expected announcement was going to happen soon.

"Before we leave the chapel and have our dinner, I have an announcement to make," Terzo said, removing one of his gloves. Your eyes went back to Cardinal Copia, as his behavior seemed restless. Removing his other glove, Terzo raised his hand letting an engagement ring exposed. "I'm engaged." You heard gasps from the siblings and saw the alarmed expressions on their faces. Even you were a little shocked. "I know this may be a shock to most of you, but I, Terzo Emeritus, and..." He offered his hand to the bench you were sitting on, and you and your friends looked at each other confused. Then, a woman right beside you stood up and walked towards him, reaching for his hand with a big smile on her lips. “Mia cara... We decided to get married.” He kissed the back of her hand.

At this point, all the members of the clergy were already standing up, looking at Terzo and the woman, except for the Cardinal who was looking directly at you. You didn't understand why he was staring at you, but you stared back at him. His lips moved as if he wanted to convey something, but the distance rendered his words indecipherable. He clenched his fists and took a deep breath, his eyes rolling back momentarily. His gaze now focused on Terzo and the woman, drawing your attention back to them. As Terzo delivered his final words, the black mass came to a conclusion. As Terzo made his way out of the chapel, the members of the clergy, one by one, followed him. The siblings got up and started talking about what had just happened. Your friends were all shocked and couldn't believe it could be real.

"So, it was true that he had someone from inside the ministry?" Sister Olga asked.

"Did you know about that?" Sister Gretta held onto your arms shaking them.

"No, I swear. I didn't know about any of this!" You assured them as you made your way out of the chapel, with them following you.

“I can’t believe the hot...” Sister Ana stopped talking, taking a deep breath. “I can’t believe the Papa really had someone this whole time.”

You were making your way with the siblings to the dining hall. They kept talking about Terzo's announcement but your mind was consumed by thoughts of Cardinal Copia, and your curiosity about who he had been searching for during the black mass lingered. You couldn't shake off the feeling of being caught in my own desires, and the embarrassment weighed heavily upon you. But hopefully, he wouldn't even think that you had bad intentions and it was just a coincidence.

As you entered the dinig hall, the aroma of food filled the air, and conversations filled the room. The siblings were animatedly discussing Terzo's relationship with his fiancé, speculating on how they had met and fallen in love. You listened to their musings, but your mind couldn't fully engage with their conversation. The presence of Cardinal Copia lingered in your thoughts, overshadowing everything else.

As dinner drew to a close, You couldn't help but notice Cardinal Copia's absence. It was unusual for him to be missing from such an important gathering. Terzo made a toast for him and his fiancé, right after it, he dismissed all the siblings present.

Making their way back to their dormitories, you found myself gazing down the long corridor towards Cardinal Copia's office. The darkness seeped from under the shut door, indicating his absence. Questions filled your mind, but you had no answers. As you started to climb the stairs, you reached for the key in your pocket and felt the letter inside, causing you to sigh in relief. At least it was still with you.

Returning to your dormitory with my friends, you took a moment to hide the letter safely beneath my pillow. Keeping it safe and sound for tomorrow. 

You sat on your bed and reflected about the crazy day you had today. All the touches and looks you and Cardinal Copia exchanged made you blush again just thinking about it. But, you came to the realization that it was better to keep your emotions in check. It was time to let go of fantasies and face the reality of the situation. The letter and its contents were meant for someone else, and you had to find contentment within the boundaries of the friendship that existed between Cardinal Copia and you.

"Oh no!" Sister Victoria exclaimed, getting up from her bed and bringing you back to reality.

"What's wrong, Victoria?" you asked, turning to face her.

"I forgot I was supposed to take our laundry to the laundry room." She said, pointing to the basket of dirty clothes.

"It's okay, Vi! I can take care of it. Don't worry." You said, getting up and walking over to the basket.

"Are you sure? I can do it tomorrow when there's no one there." She said, looking at you from her bed.

"I insist. I need to take a walk anyway." You said, picking up the basket and heading towards the door. "You can rest now. I'll take care of it." She gave you a smile and laid back in her bad.

You reached for the doorknob, balancing the basket in your arm and hugging it close to your body. When you managed to open the door, you faced Cardinal Copia, who had one arm raised as if he was about to knock on the door. The shock was evident on both of your faces as you locked eyes, caught off guard by the unexpected encounter. You stumbled slightly, but managed to regain you composure and quickly shut the door behind you.

You stood there in the corridor, feeling a mix of embarrassment and surprise. Cardinal Copia was standing just a few steps away, you could sense a slight tension in the air, unsure of what to say or how to break the silence that hung between you two.

Taking a deep breath, you finally spoke. "Uh... Cardinal, I was just... taking the laundry to the laundry room." Cardinal Copia wasn't wearing his normal outfit - no biretta, cassock, mozzetta, or fascia. The only thing from his normal outfit that was still on was his crucifix. You supposed you were seeing what Cardinal used to wear under his cassock - a black shirt and black pants.

He nodded, a hint of amusement playing on his lips. "I can see it, sorella." He said, looking at the basket in your hands.

"Well, I volunteered to take care of it for Sister Victoria. She forgot, and I offered to help." A nervous smile tugged at the corners of your mouth as you shifted the basket in your arms. "But don't worry, I can do it later. What can I do for you now, Cardinal?" you smiled at him, trying to hide your anxiety at having him right in front of you so late at night.

"That's kind of you. Always thinking of others." He paused for a moment before continuing, his voice softer. "You have a kind heart, sorella." 

The words touched you deeply, and you felt a flush of warmth spreading across your cheeks. "Thank you, Cardinal."

An uncomfortable silence filled the corridor, although there was a sense of comfort, you could feel a certain type of anxiety in Cardinal. 

"Well, I should get going. The laundry won't take care of itself." You gestured towards the laundry room.

Cardinal Copia nodded. "Of course. Don't let me keep you.. But... Eh, sorella, I have a question... And I couldn't wait until tomorrow." He took a step closer to you, causing you to take a step back and hit your back against the door. "The... The thing I saw in your pocket earlier..." His eyes bore into yours, putting one of his hands on the door, leaving it right beside your head.

Your grip on the basket loosens, causing it to slip from your hands and crash to the floor. The sound of the basket hitting the ground echoes through the corridor. Cardinal Copia's eyes briefly flicker down to the fallen basket before returning to meet your gaze.

"Was it the letter from my office?" He asked in a serious tone, almost closing the gap between your bodies, with his face close to yours breathing against your skin, causing a shiver to run down your spine as he looked at your face like if he was studying every inch of your nervousness.

"I..." You find yourself momentarily lost for words, caught in the intensity of the moment. His gaze is unwavering, his eyes locked onto yours, searching for an answer. "I- I mean.... I-" Cardinal's heat was creating an intoxicating sensation with every inch of space that separates your bodies. You felt like if there was a magnetic pulling you to finally close the gap.

It was like if he felt it too, as he closed the gap between the two of you, turning his face down close to your neck, his breath tickling your ear, sending a jolt of anticipation through your body.

"Did you read it?" His voice, barely above a whisper, reach the deepest corners of your being. You could feel a heat growing inside of you.

"I... I..." The tension between you two was palpable, a delicate dance of desire and restraint. You closed your eyes, as if you were waiting for him to do something, you felt like you were close to faint.

You hear a cough coming from the stairs. "Am I interrupting something, fratello?" Your eyes instantly opened, you turn your face seeing Terzo on top of the stairs.

"No. Not at all." Cardinal manage to reply, quickly composing himself and stepping back from you.

You quickly compose yourself too, glancing down at the fallen basket, your cheeks flushed with a mix of embarrassment and nervousness.

"Good Evening, Papa." You greet Terzo, offering him a polite smile, reaching down to pick up the fallen items and placing them back into the basket.

"Non puoi resistere a una sorella, sì?" Terzo laughed in a devilish tone. Cardinal Copia's expression becomes guarded, and you can sense a tension in the air between him and Terzo.

"Stai zitto, fratello." Cardinal said in a serious tone walking in Terzo's direction. Terzo gave him his back starting to walking down the stairs. "Tomorrow, I want to see you early in the morning in my office so we can finish this talk, sì?" Cardinal Copia adds, his gaze briefly meeting yours before following Terzo downstairs.

As they walk away, leaving you standing alone in the corridor, you take a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart. The encounter with Cardinal Copia has left you feeling both exhilarated and uncertain. Tomorrow's meeting in Cardinal's office loomed over you. You would need to summon all your courage, drawing strength from within, to face Cardinal Copia.

Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

Grammar ⸻

Perché cazzo non me l’hai detto? - Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? Fratello! Sai che io sono il Papa! - Brother! You know that I’m the Papa! Non dire stronzate! - Don’t talk nonsense! Mi dispiace - I’m sorry Prego, sorellina - You’re welcome, little sister Fratellino - Litlle brother. Posso capire perché mio fratello ha scelto te. - I can see why my brother chose you. Cazzo! - Fuck! Scusi, sorella. - Excuse me, sister. Mi dispiace, sorella - I’m sorry, sister. Cara - Dear Mia cara - My dear Non puoi resistere a una sorella, sì? - You can't resist a sister, right? Stay Zitto, fratello - Shut up, brother.

[sirianisrock]

Lonely Souls

Cardinal Copia x Female Reader 

Warnings : 18+ , smut, more smut, some plot, anxiety, fluff

Word count : 2'953

Summary : You receive an invite from a certain Cardinal, and you won't be the fool refusing it.

The afternoon mass was one of the longest, the sisters around you mumbling lowly to each other impatiently, waiting for it to finish as soon as possible to run for dinner. 

You, on the other hand, didn't feel the same rush as them.

Not when the person doing the sermons was the seemingly awkward Cardinal, whom you started to have feelings for some months ago.

He didn't seem to have great success with the women around the Ministry, for a reason or the other; you often heard rumors of how he made a fool of himself in certain situations with the higher ranks or happened to just be a little too messy at times. But his being an introvert and out of place was exactly what caught your eye. 

What you saw, though, was his kindness and interest in always helping the ones in need, and the silly jokes he'd sometimes happened to tell you when he tried to make conversation with you in the hallways. He never failed to make you giggle, followed most of the times with a blush on your cheeks and your eyes on the floor.

And that sure didn't go unnoticed by him.

You were one of the latest arrivals, even though it's been almost 5 months since you became part of this "community".

The Cardinal was the one showing you around, making you feel home and comfortable in this new reality, and he always made sure you were doing fine.

You got close to him in a short time, always looking forward to a quiet walk with him in the gardens or a conversation about each other's day, the topics always changing and making you feel lost as the hours passed by without noticing. 

Your daydreaming was interrupted by the sisters around you getting up for the end of the mass, and as you looked over at Copia, his eyes were already on yours.

He nervously smiled and looked away knowing he'd been caught, and you slowly left the chapel with a silly little smile on your own lips. 

After dinner you decided to call it a night, since there were no plans in sight and the amount of daily duties were starting to catch up on your tired body. 

As you were getting closer to your dorm though, you heard a familiar voice calling for you.

"S-Sorella wait!"

You turned around to find Copia running behind you, trying to reach you before you got into your room.

He bent in a half trying to catch his breath, now being just a few feet away from you. His hair was a little messy from the run under his beretta, and a flashing thought of grabbing them roughly passed your mind. 

He cleared his throat before speaking.

"Forgive me Sorella for...for bothering you, and to be so unannounced.

I just..I mean..it's a nice night, si? 

If you didn't have any plans I uh.. I was thinking if maybe you'd enjoy watching a movie...together?" 

His request left you at a loss of words, not expecting him to ask you of all for something so...intimate, if you could call it that. 

Upon seeing your starstruck reaction, he started getting nervous.

"I- I mean.. you don't have to if you don't wan-"

"NO I-" you rushed.

Taking a second to ground yourself, you spoke again.

"No absolutely, I'd..love that" you blurted with a little too much excitement probably, and right now you couldn't meet his gaze.

The clap of his gloved hands took you out of your trance, his shoes looking particularly interesting.

"Fantastico! Then I'll be waiting for you in my room at 9:30pm, if that's okay?"

You nodded, all words now lost in your throat.

"See you later then, mia cara." 

Copia turned on his heels and started walking back to the hallway he arrived from, leaving you stuck in front of your door.

"See you later..Cardinal" you whispered, not knowing how to feel from the rush of emotions going through you. 

So there you were now, checking yourself in the little mirror of your poor excuse of a room for the sixteenth time to be sure you were looking "acceptable".

You didn't change much from your usual uniform, since anyone walking around could notice you, being still early enough. But you smiled a little brighter, stood a little straighter and took care of yourself a little more. Anything to tempt him just a tiny bit more to you.

Your heart was beating loud and fast while closing the door behind you, he could probably hear it from his own chambers.

The walk to his place was faster than you'd liked, your nerves getting the better of you even though you couldn't wait to be next to him either. 

Standing in front of his door, you wiped the sweat off your hands on your gown and knocked twice, legs feeling like jelly.

He opened just a few seconds later, as if he's been impatiently waiting for your arrival.

"Sorella..! You look-"

He seemed to think of his next words while staring you down, a red tone coloring your face upon feeling his intense gaze on you.

"..bellissima" he whispered.

Even though you didn't really know much of Italian, you could catch that, and it made your heart flip.

"Please, come in" 

He fully opened the door for you to enter, and you noticed a really comfy looking bordeaux sofa in the middle of the room, in front of it a fireplace with a TV standing above it.

The room was warm, and some black candles were lit here and there to give a nice atmosphere.

"Make yourself at home, sister"

Your focus was now on him, and you realized you haven't spoken a word yet, too caught up in your nerves.

"Thank you, Cardinal"

You smiled sweetly at him, and stood awkwardly for a moment noticing him in his own trance on you, once again. 

He shook his head a little, apparently coming back to his senses.

"Where are my manners, please sit, I'll bring some tea while the movie starts"

You did as he said, sighing as you sat on the soft sofa.

The movie he chose was a scary one, called "The Hills Have Eyes". You heard of it and hoped it wouldn't be too much for your daily nightmares. 

A few minutes later two cups of hot tea were put on the little table in front of the sofa, as he sat not too close but not too far from you either. 

The movie started, and you tried your best not to cover your face with your hands to protect yourself from the horrors happening. 

Copia slowly got closer to you, his left arm spread behind you.

"Are you scared, little bird?"

He murmured, locking eyes with you. A little smile spread across his face upon seeing your scared and embarrassed expression.

"Well..n-no..it's just a little gory"

He hummed at your response, and the arm that was over you now came down on your shoulders, prompting you to come closer to him.

"Don't worry sweetheart, I'll protect you"

His tone felt a little teasing, yet genuine.

You relaxed in his embrace, your right hand resting softly over his chest, near his heart. You missed the way his breath stopped for a second, his muscles tensing for the briefest moment before relaxing under your touch. 

The more the movie went on, the more you hid your face deeper into him, his arm holding you close.

You didn't notice how your hand started slipping from his chest, and now was resting above his thigh, near his crotch.

From his part, though, he tensed the more your warmth grew closer to where he was now feeling a little secluded.

You were so caught up in the movie now that only later did you realize where your hand was laying.

You froze, unable to move and think of a good excuse to give him for the embarrassing moment, but your panic only lasted for a mere minute.

When your eyes looked down, you were sure that something was telling you he didn't mind at all the attention, and all of a sudden, you felt bold.

You slowly moved your hand higher, now right on his dick. And cupped him.

You felt him still, trying to stifle a groan, and you looked up.

His mismatched eyes were boring in yours, pupils dilated and breath a little ragged, mouth agape and cheeks pink.

"..I didn't think you had this in you, Sorella. You're playing with fire, you know that..mh?"

Your mind couldn't register his sudden change in demeanor, little left of the shy Cardinal now that lust had taken possession of his soul. 

You didn't notice your own breathing was faster, heart beating in your ears.

"And what do you wanna do about that..Cardinal?" You asked, your voice as sweet as honey while you looked at him through your eyelids.

"You could tempt Satan with that look of yours, Sister.."

He shifted.

"On your knees."

The tone with which he said it left no room for arguments, that was a clear order.

You got up from the sofa and leaned between his knees on the floor, his legs spread to make room for you.

"The look in your eyes speaks for you, Sorella..I can see you're hungry.

So please, serve yourself." 

With his hand he indicated the now obvious boner, resting his hands on either side of the sofa.

You complied, now feeling the boldness leave your body to let space for anxiety.

Your hands trembled slightly while unzipping his pants, and one of his covered yours. 

"You're nervous, little bird."

Your eyes trailed to his face, embarrassment flooding you and making you feel like a fool in front of him.

His hand came up to your jaw delicately, making you look at him before he spoke again.

"If you don't want to do this, we don't have to. And if you want to stop at any time, just say the word and nothing will happen, okay?"

His voice was sweet, and a little worry and insecurity could be heard in it too.

You nodded, feeling a little relieved in the fact that he worried about you and your well being, and a newfound strength took over your body.

"Yes, Cardinal."

You went back to work, now his pants loose and your hand buried in his underwear.

You heard it, the light hiss that escaped his lips as soon as you grabbed his dick, exposing it to your hungry eyes.

The precum on the head made it glisten with the fire's light behind you, and the look on his face made your insides tremble.

You closed the distance by licking a long stripe from the base of his cock to the head, his hand flying to your hair to keep it from getting in the way. 

"Merda" 

He whispered, seeing you with his dick in your mouth was something he thought about a lot, but didn't expect to actually ever happen. 

Without warning you took all of him that you could fit, and the strangled moan that escaped his throat made you clench, his grip on your hair tightening and curses in both Italian and English leaving him.

"Fuck Sorella..if only I knew earlier what that mouth could d-do"

His words gave you more confidence, now bobbing slowly your head up and down his length, your lips leaving a wet trail behind, and grunts filling the room.

Your nails were dragging up and down his thighs, his shivers unable to be hidden.

"S-shit, stop or I won't be able to last"

He slowly pulled you away from his cock, and he was such a sight.

Hair now disheveled, some strands falling out of place, a thin line of sweat covering his forehead, pupils blown wide and breath ragged.

He took your arm and guided you on his lap, holding you from the back of your neck and crushing his lips to yours.

Copia's kisses were bruising, deep but sweet, hungry but delicate.

His other hand roamed down your hips, grabbing a fistful of your ass and urging you down on him, his erection pressing on your core, burning from lust.

You couldn't help but grind on him, looking for friction to alleviate the pressure inside of you. 

The hand on your neck made its way down, moving your gown up and taking your panties aside, his fingers teasing your entrance.

He leaned down, whispering in your ear

"Look at you..all of this just for me, heh? You're soaked, dolcezza" 

He didn't waste time circling your clit with his thumb, while his index and medium finger slipped inside of you with ease. 

He started kissing down your jaw, under your ear, between your neck and shoulder, never faltering the slow and torturing rhythm he was using on you.

Your face was buried in his neck, your soft moans filling his ears while he sucked bruises on your shoulder blade.

"Fuck, Copia.."

You whispered only for him to hear, your orgasm approaching faster than you'd like.

"Well..that's the goal" he smugly said, now the fingers inside of you moving faster.

Your legs trembled at that, the feeling of his digits and of his cock pushing near your entrance making your eyes roll in the back of your head, and a loud moan left you while you gushed around his skilled fingers, not stopping until the last bit of your orgasm was taken from you.

You both stayed there for a minute, trying to regain some air and strength to go on.

He kissed you again, slowly this time, but not any less deeper and passionate.

His hands now worked on removing your uniform, leaving you finally bare for his eyes.

"You're a sight for this old man's eyes, mia cara.."

You didn't have the time to blush, for he attacked his lips to your nipples like a starved animal, in need to be satiated.

Your hands groped his hair, grabbing his scalp for support, moans escaping you both more frequently now. He kissed back up your neck, his hand between you two starting to align himself to your pussy.

You would've screamed in delight from the stretch slowly pushing past your walls, but his mouth crashed with yours just at the right time.

When you found yourself fully seated on him, almost struggling to breathe, his hips lowered just to push up into yours abruptly, taking the air away from your lungs.

His pace was unforgiving, hands holding your hips to meet his, the sound of skin slapping probably filling the Ministry.

You felt boneless, unable to do anything but grip his shoulders for stability while he fucked into you rapidly and roughly.

At some point you barely realized he held you tight just to drop you on your back on the sofa, putting one of your legs on his shoulders and pounding into you with reckless abandon.

His right hand found a home on your neck, gripping you tight enough for you to feel your lungs burn, but just the right amount.

His left hand instead gripped your hip in a bruising manner, surely leaving his fingerprints for the next day.

You felt his rhythm falter, your pussy gushing around his cock ready for your second orgasm, and the curses leaving his lips were barely registered.

"Cum, Sorella. Cum now."

The pressure of his thumb on your clit was everything you needed to explode, your vision becoming foggy, a tear escaping you and a loud moan from both of you telling you he reached his climax as well. 

You felt his cock twitch, his seed spilling inside of you and down your ass, ending on the sofa. 

Copia collapsed on you, his face on your stomach, your bodies sweaty and warm, now boneless from pleasure.

Minutes passed by while you both got some air back, the bliss from your highs now slowly dissipating.

He removed himself from you slowly, giving himself the time to take a look at you.

"You look as sin itself, Y/N."

He said, cracking a smile that made you reciprocate without even thinking twice.

He grabbed a soft cloth and helped clean you up, doing the same for himself after.

When you both dressed back up, still sitting on the sofa, he looked at you.

"You know..I-I don't know if you feel the same, and I don't wanna fuck up what we have..but I..I wanted to tell you that..I have feelings for you.

And I'm not expecting you to reciprocate or anything, I just..really wanted to lift a weight from myself"

You watched as Copia became shy, averting his gaze from you, the worry in his eyes evident.

You probably looked dumbstruck by his confession, cause when you didn't say anything, he just smiled at the look in your face.

"I-"

The words weren't leaving you just yet, so you took a deep breath, your hand holding one of his.

"I was scared you wouldn't feel the same, actually.. that's why I never really.. y'know.."

His eyes enlightened, a new emotion clear in them as he came closer to you, his nose nuzzling yours.

"So we're both two awkward messes, heh?"

He didn't wait for your response, the smile you shined told him everything he needed to know.

He kissed you lovingly, holding your face to his as if you would disappear and this was just a cruel dream.

The movie ended a while ago, but that night, two lonely souls found each other.

Author's note : I don't usually write,so this really was a jump in the void,hopefully readable lol.

Here you can find the Italian translations :

Sorella = Sister

Fantastico = Fantastic, Awesome

Mia cara = My dear

Bellissima = Beautiful

Merda = Shit

[ghulehunknown]

Teach Me Tonight

Primo x F!Reader

Day 7 of KINKTOBER is {finally} here! 🎃

**WARNING - EXPLICIT/NSFW**

Written by request for BugbiteWrites on AO3 <3

“Teach Me Tonight”

Summary: You’ve been shadowing as Primo’s intern in the gardens for weeks and share your affections with him. After opening up, you realize that he could teach you a thing or two about watering your own garden.

CW/Tags: teacher/student, age difference, F!Reader, reader is somewhat inexperienced, vaginal fingering, CMNF, semi-public nudity and sex, sex outdoors, praise, mutual masturbation, handjob, dry humping, oral sex (M receiving), P in V sex, unprotected sex

Word Count: 3600

.

For several weeks you were shadowing Papa Primo in the gardens. Truth be told you only had a normal-sized interest in plants, but you marveled at the thought of alone time with your favorite Papa.

“So,” he had said after many days of near silence. “What is your interest in plants? Surely you could have picked a more exciting adventure for your future career here, fragolina?”

“Who better to learn things from? I’ve always admired the work you’ve done at the Ministry,” you had said shyly with a smile, the first full sentences you formed other than your name when you first met and “Yes, Papa” when given instructions.

“That is refreshing to hear. Most young folks are here for the youthful, more energetic Papas and they fall into a certain ‘party’ lifestyle when they arrive, and burn out quick.” Only this silly old geezer would be calling his brothers “youthful,” and it brought a smile to your lips.

“It might not be exciting work what we do here, cara, but I can assure you that your time with me will be fruitful and rewarding,” he continued.

You could have melted when he said that - did he know somehow, that you had fancied him since you were a girl? Did he know the candle you held close in your heart for him, always lit?

The weeks went by and you would chit-chat as you gardened. He would tell you tales of his time as a young Clergy member, how he used to party like his brothers. Then things changed as he grew older and weary, and he found solitude in the quiet greenhouses.

His touch with the plants never wavered - his hands were always steady when carefully snipping the vines on the pumpkins, trimming the hedges, or snipping off dead leaves. Your interactions were always harmonious and polite, with the occasional brush of the hands - his strong, yet delicate, hands.

But today was different. Sister Imperator would soon be rotating the Siblings’ work responsibilities based on productivity or “fit,” unless either their respective Papa or ghoul specifically asked for them to stay as an apprentice.

Today you walk into the gardens, head held high, a confidence you had never felt before now surging through you. He wouldn't make the first move, you think to yourself - as it should be. Imagine the complications then, if there was ever the slightest implication that your job was on the line all because Papa wanted your affection. No, it has to be you.

You work together in silence again for most of the day, focusing on mixing the right compost for the flowerbed soil.

“Papa, I want to discuss something,” you say.

“What is it, bambolina?” he asks, finishing up.

Those names! How he makes your heart flutter with just his simple words. Even though you hardly know what he is saying half the time, you know his words are sweet and genuine.

He gestures to the water spigot and watering can and instructs you to fill it up. You shake yourself to get out of your daydream and nod, walking over to the side of the greenhouse and filling up the can.

“Well, Sister…she’s giving all the new Siblings their performance reviews soon, and I was just wondering…if, well, if you were happy with mine.” You waddle back over to the table with the watering can, a little too heavy for you to carry.

He picks it up with ease. “Sì, I have given you all good marks. You are very studious and I have enjoyed your help here.”

“Oh - erm, grazie Papa. So will I be continuing to work with you in the gardens?”

“If that is your wish, then yes.”

“Oh good, good. That’s…good,” you say awkwardly, scratching your head.

“Mm, it is,” he remarks gently, not pushing the subject any farther. He begins watering the smaller plants on the tabletop.

“I’ve been enjoying my time here so much, Papa. And I need you to know, the real reason I came here was to get to know you better.”

He pauses, listening to you intently, then continues tending to the plants.

You swallow the lump forming in your throat then continue. “I have gotten to know you, for who you truly are, and I…I want to spend even more time with you, in a more intimate setting.”

“Hm - me, donzella?” he says, still watering the plants on the tabletop, though he does not sound surprised. “No, non è possibile. You do not want this old fool.”

“You aren’t a fool,” you say, stepping closer. “Though you may be a bit…advanced, in more ways than one.”

He eyes you from his peripheral, and you aren’t sure if he’s giving a warning glance or teasing you.

You gulp nervously. “I just meant, Papa…that you are very wise and…experienced.”

“Sì, cara, I have lived a full life. Some things I would rather not remember, and others were…” He pauses in thought, then says with a smile, “..hmm, fun.”

“And what about having another fun time…teaching me something else?”

He flashes you another look, this time setting the watering can down and raising an eyebrow while glancing your body up and down, perhaps unsure of your intentions. “Have you not explored the pleasures of your own body before, coccinella? Have you not lain with another?”

“I have, Papa…but I’ve only slept with one other before. I know how to make myself feel good, but…” You pause, trembling. “I was hoping you could show me what true pleasure feels like,” you blurt out the rest - knowing if you didn’t, you could never say it. You can’t believe what you just confessed to Primo.

He ponders for a moment before saying anything. He removes his gloves, revealing his long and slender fingers, slightly leathery and the top of his hands wrinkled - and your mind immediately goes to where he could put those fingers. He takes off his gardening hat as well, and you notice a few age spots on his bald head. None of that matters to you, though. In fact, he’s just your type. You can’t explain it, but the very fact he has lived a long and full life before your very existence turns you on. Like a forbidden romance, but also the thrill of experiencing what he’s done so many times before you.

It’s not about what he can do for you - it’s about being with him, to be chosen. To feel special in an otherwise unspecial world and push beyond whatever limitations you had put on yourself before, all in the pursuit of an orderly and plain life. If everything went just the way you had planned, nothing could hurt you. But what kind of life was that if there were no surprises?

He gathers a couple of blankets typically used for covering the delicate plants during frost or other harsh weather, and lays them down on the ground and over the pumpkin patch. He turns on the space heaters on the patio then takes you by the arm towards the pumpkins.

He lays you down in the patch - the leafy fronds and plump gourds surprisingly comfortable. A medium sized pumpkin fits the arch of your back perfectly. He lays down next to you, propped by pumpkins so he is laying on his side. He reaches over you, his hand grazing over your breasts to caress your shoulder. You swallow another lump in your throat as your nerves get the best of you. You haven’t experienced this sort of feeling before, but you think it’s…thrill.

“Are you comfortable, Sorella?” he asks, massaging your upper arm.

You nod quickly - too quickly.

“Are you sure? We do not have to do this,” he says soothingly, pausing as he begins to retract his hand.

“Wait, Papa -” you begin to say, then pull his hand back over your body, lightly touching your chest again before reaching your shoulder opposite him.

He strokes your arm again, this time pulling your sleeve past your shoulder, revealing your bra strap. He takes the strap in between his fingers and gently grazes the fabric. “Pesky thing,” he says, then looks into your eyes.

“It hooks in the back,” you say with a gulp.

He continues looking you in the eyes, then holds your face in his hand. You close your eyes and exhale. He won’t make the first move, will he? He has to know you want this, truly want this - and that you aren’t at all uncomfortable with the dynamic. At least, that’s the only thing you can surmise. Afterall, he is Papa and you are merely his intern.

You lean in, tilting your head - but falter before reaching his lips. Fuck, what is it? Nerves? The undeniable shame you know you’ll have to battle later - the kind of shame that only a former Catholic schoolgirl would know in the late hours of night?

But that one move is just what he needs; he needs your invitation. Still holding your face in his hands, he pulls you in close, and kisses your lips.

Suddenly, even if just for now, your ex-Catholic guilt subsides. And all you want is here before you. You kiss him back and your arms find their way around his shoulders. You place one hand on the back of his head and feel the smoothness of his scalp in your palm.

He kisses the side of your face and down the crook of your neck, trailing his hand there and then down your back. He unzips your gown halfway, then slips it down your shoulders. You pull your arms out of the sleeves, revealing your upper body. He cups one breast in his hand over your bra, massaging while continuing to kiss you.

You quietly moan under your breath, feeling your nipples harden at his touch. He slips his hand inside your bra, exposing your nipple to the crisp air, repeating the same motion to your other breast. He softly pinches your hardened flesh between his thumb and index finger, massaging you with the palm of his hand. He alternates on both sides, kissing your lips - working up the friction between your legs.

“Mmmn, Papa - ” you gasp, breaking away from his embrace. You look around frantically, suddenly remembering you were in the gardens, where the Cardinal and Imperator often liked to stroll. Occasionally you had even seen Terzo’s legs entangled with another Siblings’ through the bushes. “Won’t someone see?”

“No one will bother us here, bambolina,” he says assuredly. When you still seem skeptical, he explains further. “There is Mass tonight. They will all be in the Abbey.”

Relief washes over you. You could only handle one new experience at a time; perhaps exhibitionism and voyeurism would come later.

Still looking beyond the gardens towards the stained glass windows of the Ministry, he turns your head gently to face him. “We do not have to do anything you are not comfortable with - capisci, Sorella?”

You nod, and lean in to kiss him again. “It’s okay Papa. I’m ready.”

“Ecco una brava ragazza,” he says with a comforting smile, while reaching behind you and unhooking your bra, placing it beside you. Your nipples harden again at the sudden cold (though they were already halfway hard), goosebumps all over your body now.

He slowly lifts the skirt of your habit up past your hips, revealing your pink lacy panties. The chilly autumn air stings, but his hands give you warmth. “No one should ever touch you without your permission cara, is that understood?” You nod, your teeth chattering in your mouth. “Good,” he continues. “In that case…is this alright?”

You nod again. “Yes Papa,” you whisper.

He pulls your underwear down past your knees, tantalizingly slow, then finally past your ankles. He tosses them to the side, landing on the stem of a nearby gourd. “Che bel fiorellino,” he remarks upon seeing your trimmed cunt, running his hand over your body. The space heaters’ warmth finally reaches you and you stop shivering.

“It should be easy to find your g-spot,” he says, gently entering his middle digit into you, moving around for a few seconds until you coo. “Ah, there it is,” he says, grazing the soft, raised spot inside your walls. “And already so wet,” he remarks. “Sei la brava ragazza di Papa.”

Your back arches and you curl up next to Primo’s chest, hand clutching onto his chasuble. Your mouth opens in an “Oh!” as you exclaim while he brushes along your walls.

He massages inside you for a few moments while keeping his other hand over your abdomen. “You should be relaxed and molto, molto bagnata before going any farther.”

He continues to pump his finger in and out of you slowly, curling upwards and petting your sensitive spot when he re-enters. “You are still quite tense,” he says matter-of-factly.

You blush - you could tell now that you were involuntarily seizing up around him, your whole body clenching as if preparing for pain. You didn’t think he could, well, feel that.

He smiles warmly down at you, still curled up into his chest. “Non preoccuparti, cara mia.” He kisses along your neck, along the curve of your collarbone. He moves down to your chest, then sucks on your nipple - and you moan quietly again. He alternates breasts until his finger slides inside you more easily and your shoulders slack, your muscles no longer holding tension.

“Are you ready for another finger, la mia bambolina, mm? I think you are,” he says, sliding another finger inside you. You cry out, feeling the stretch, your body inviting him much more easily this time. “Such a good little thing, you are doing so well,” he coaxes.

He pumps in and out of you several times, then brings his fingers upwards to your clit - covered in your slick. He slides around your bud in small, slow circles. You sigh happily, your hand moving down his chest closer to his navel.

“What are you doing, fragolina?” he asks.

“I want to do something for you, Papa,” you whisper.

“I am not worried about my pleasure, pet.”

“I want to,” you say as you continue down his body. Your hand hits his erection and you begin to palm him through his robe.

“Mmm,” he mumbles, closing his eyes and breathing heavily through his nose. His gentle circles in between your legs falter for just a moment as you begin to stroke him, but he continues, your breathy sighs now matching in rhythm.

You turn to face him, dangling one leg over his so you are straddling his knee. You begin to grind on his leg, his bony knee providing you relief between your thighs. He removes his hand from your entrance, then holds your waist by both hands and guides you along, helping you build friction on your throbbing clit. You place both hands on his shoulders to steady yourself.

He grabs you and places you over his clothed erection, sliding his prodding member in between your folds. There’s a dark spot on his knee from your arousal. A few times he almost enters you, the soft silk catching inside you, rubbing a new sensation. Your back arches again and you reach around you to gather up the fabric of his robes. You lift it over his hips - and to your surprise, he is wearing nothing underneath.

The sight of his throbbing cock bobbing towards you sends a chill down your spine - right to your core. Christ, he really is as big as everyone rumors. He’s long and slender just as you imagined, with an upwards curve that you know will be able to hit you just right. He’s pale just like the rest of his skin - with a pink tip, a bead of precum resting in the slit of his hood.

You get on all fours before him, looking up at him from beneath his cock, a hunger in your eyes.

He looks at you while running his hand through your hair, then gently pulls you towards him. You take his cock in your hand, stroking slowly from base to tip, thumbing the head on the way up. “That’s it, Sorella. There’s a good girl,” he says.

“Ahh,” he sighs as you lick the precum off his tip, delicately dancing your tongue around. He puts his hand over yours, guiding your hand up and down his shaft as you lick around his first few inches, not knowing how in hell you’ll be able to fit all of him inside you.

Sensing your hesitancy, he pulls his hips backwards. “That can be enough for now, cara. We do not have to go any further. You have done very well this evening.” He pats the side of your face.

“I want to go further,” you insist, crawling up to him closer.

He pauses. “Coccinella, I do not have a condom with me. Unless we go to my bedchambers, we -”

“I’m on birth control,” you blurt out, inching closer to him. “I’m ready.”

“Condoms do more than prevent insemination,” he adds, forgetting you are not completely ignorant in the world of sex.

“Papa, I have not been with anyone else in a while,” you assure him. “Have you? - I mean, shit I’m sorry. That was way too forward.”

He rubs your arm soothingly. “I assure you, I have not been with anyone else as of late. And I do not think I will be…for some time,” he says, looking at you after his pause.

Oh. Does he mean…? That he never wants to be with you after this, or that he won’t be with anyone else aside from you?

He says your name, and looks you in the eyes while holding your chin in his fingertips. “Sei la ragione di ogni mio sorriso.”

What the fuck does that mean? He sounds so sweet saying it…

“You are the reason for my smiles, bambolina. You are the reason I keep getting up everyday. My life lacked purpose until you reminded me that I am needed here. I have felt cast aside for years now, withering into a shell of my former self. You,” he says while rubbing your chin. “You are my reason.”

“Oh Papa,” you say, crawling up into his lap and holding his face in your hands, kissing him. “You’re very important to me.”

“E anche tu sei importante per me…”

“I need to feel close to you…” you say, wrapping your arms around his neck and straddling him again.

He tucks your hair behind your ear. “Così bella,” he whispers breathlessly as you stroke his cock once more, rubbing yourself against his shaft. He lifts your hips over his, lowering you over his tip.

You stand yourself up on your knees to ready yourself for his length. You wince as he enters you slowly.

“Careful, cara mia,” he says gently, holding you up firmly as your knees begin to buckle under you. “That’s it, brava ragazza. Slowly now.”

You tremble as his first inches enter you, stretching you much more than his fingers did earlier. He grabs onto your rear, massaging your cheeks and gliding you up and down, not going past halfway down his shaft. Your legs start to shake uncontrollably and he lifts you off of him easily like a doll. He gently places you down on your back, propped up by the pumpkins.

He glides over top of you, entering you only as far as you went before. He is carefully holding himself up so as not to enter you fully.

“Papa, is that comfortable? Will you be able to get off if you’re not um, fully inside?” you inquire.

“Your comfort is much more important than my pleasure, cara.” He slides in and out very carefully, kissing you. “I assure you, I will enjoy myself. But at your pace.”

You feel your walls stretch to accommodate his size, his cock grazing against your g-spot perfectly the way he’s angled. Your chest rises and falls, each breath getting heavier and heavier. He dips his head down to suckle at your breasts while he pumps in and out of you, now moving quicker the more you moan. He reaches down to massage your clit as he thrusts, every sensation in your body now overwhelmed.

“Oh fuck,” you moan - a little too loudly this time, as your pleasured sounds echo off the patio tiles and into the courtyard beyond. Every few thrusts he adds another inch inside you, slowly filling you completely - until finally, you feel his hips meet yours, his balls hitting your nethers.

Without realizing, you squeeze around him, and he groans out loud.

“I’m sorry Papa, did I -?”

“No, no cara that feels so good, please continue. You can practice contracting your pelvic floor muscles - Gesù Cristo! Ahh, that’s it Sorella, don’t stop!” He pants, riding through his building orgasm.

He continues massaging your clit, your climax coming soon, with his. He’s timing your breathing patterns perfectly - you feel so close. Your mouth opens but you can barely make a noise as your vision starts to go hazy. He pumps into you a final time, grunting into your shoulder. You both moan, panting, coming down from your peak, and lie exhausted in one another’s arms for a few moments.

“Should we go inside?” you ask, breaking the silence and looking up at him from resting your head on his chest.

“Let’s stay out here a bit longer,” he says, looking up at the stars above you while stroking your hair.

Italian to English Translations

- fragolina (little strawberry)

- cara (dear)

- bambolina (little doll)

- grazie (thank you)

- donzella (damsel)

- non è possibile (it’s not possible)

- coccinella (ladybug)

- capisci (do you understand)

- Ecco una brava ragazza (There’s a good girl)

- Che bel fiorellino (What a pretty flower)

- Sei la brava ragazza di Papa (You are Papa’s good girl)

- molto, molto bagnata (very, very wet)

- Non preoccuparti, cara mia (Don’t worry, my dear)

- Sei la ragione di ogni mio sorriso (You’re the reason for all my smiles)

- E anche tu sei importante per me… (And you are important to me too)

- Così bella (So beautiful)

- Gesù Cristo (Jesus Christ)

[ghoultrifle]

I know it’s a bit early but I really hope we get some fan fiction of phantom celebrating Halloween for the first time

Thank you anon! I took this and kinda combined it with @p1nkcanoe's post here because i adore the idea of the abbey descending into chaos for two months a year. Also big credit to @marsohthree for her Phantom Halloween thoughts!

Here's 1.8k words of Phantom's first Halloween! This is somewhat based on unmasked Phantom but that's just because i never celebrated Halloween as a kid so he's all i have to go off asfhajghaldgh. Stick around to the end for a cute photo of Barbie and Ken! (also this is my first non-smut story and i'm a bit rusty, sorry!)

Phantom was practically vibrating with excitement, yes it was only September 1st but he’d heard today was the start of something called ‘Spooky Season’. Some people (Swiss) called it ‘Spoopy Season’ but that was silly because spoopy isn’t a proper word and it doesn’t even mean scary! 

The clock struck midnight, signalling the end of Summer and the start of two months of ghoul-induced chaos, Phantom was loving it. By the time the sun rose on the first of September, the walls of the Abbey were already covered in spray-on cobwebs and the glass panes in the doors stained with a bone-chilling red. Phantom had been the one to source the blood, having recently learned how to hunt with Cumulus; he absolutely was not a natural and the blood covering the walls had sprayed from the new ghoul after he mistook his tail for a rabbit.

All the ghouls from different disciplines of the clergy, including the band ghouls, collaborated on turning the Abbey into a hellfest, literally. They tried to recreate the atmosphere of the pit, only in the ghoul’s quarters of course, they’re not monsters. The mixed quarters, common areas between humans and ghouls, were turned into more of a haunted house with your typical Halloween attractions and scares.

Phantom couldn’t contain his goofy smile as he helped set up the mixed quarters, placing plastic spiders that he animated using his quintessence to occasionally scurry across the fake webs. He was dressed in a slutty devil costume, Rain dressed in the accompanying angel costume. Phantom’s red skirt barely covered his ass and his black mesh top matched his patchy painted nails. Rain was sporting a white miniskirt with thigh highs to match and a halo headband. Of course none of the ghouls needed to dress up, they could simply unglamour themselves, but it was more fun to do it this way.

The first ritual of the day was to carve the ministry’s pumpkins. After the hunting mishap, the pack decided Phantom was not to be trusted with a knife and was instead relegated to design and project management. He chose a bat design, of course, and carefully stood on his tiptoes watching over Aether’s shoulder as he carved out the flying creatures. Once the new ghoul was satisfied with his elder’s work he picked it up like a baby and would not let go, showing it proudly to everyone he met.

It got so bad he almost took it into the shower before Dew whisked it away, “Nuh uh lil guy, I am not cleaning pumpkin seeds out the drain. You can have it back after.” Dew proceeded to accidentally drop the pumpkin as he was walking back to Phantom’s room, startled by the motion-activated skeleton in the hallway. So instead of a pumpkin, the quintessence ghoul was met with a ‘forgive me?’ pair of bat plushies, it was love at first sight. They’re named Barbie and Ken and, yes, they're dressed in pink cowboy costumes.

Time passed as Phantom eagerly awaited The Day. In the meantime he’d often be found wrapped up in toilet roll, launching himself out of the shadows at passers by, trying to scare human members of the clergy and failing miserably, “Why aren’t they scared by my costume, Mounty?” he’d pout. “Well, you do it every morning so I think they know to expect you by now.” Mountain  replies. This only inspires the mischievous ghoul to up his scare game, his dream career being a scarer at a haunted house after the pack took him to Halloween Horror Nights.

The next day Aether and Omega had their work cut out at the infirmary as three clergymen were admitted for various fright-related conditions. Phantom bat-hung from the ceiling, the corpse of a freshly-hunted rabbit in his bloodied mouth, canines poking out as he smiled at the passing humans.

Phantom was forbidden from wearing anything other than normal clothes or slutty costumes from that point onwards.

In the days leading up to Halloween, the pack were sent on a trip to gather themed food for the ministry, Frankenstein crisps, ghost marshmallows, and of course sweets for trick-or-treaters. They thought it would be funny to let Phantom loose in the supermarket with just a list, the poor ghoul only just having learned how to read. “What’s this say?” Phantom asked excitedly, gasping for air as he ran back outside to where his pack was waiting, “Gummy worms, darling, you know the ones?” Cumulus replied the first time. Phantom nodded his head, skipping back into the store, only to jog back out minutes later.

“What ‘bout this one, Aeth?” He questioned, pointing hurriedly at the list. “Can’t see when you’re waving your hand around like that, Bug!” The older ghoul chuckled, moving Phantom’s hand away, “Ah, this is a tricky one. It says choco-late eye-balls.” Aether answers slowly as his hand traces the syllables on the paper. “If you can’t read anything else, just buy something spoopy!” Swiss shouts as Phantom shoots him a death stare from the store entrance.

It took five times as long as it would have taken if the pack joined Phantom, but the little guy enjoyed it too much for them to intervene. The ministry was now fully stocked, ready for the end of October.

Phantom awoke at 3am, the witching hour. His quintessence was tingling with the spirits of those below, rising for their day to shine. Today was the day. He restlessly walked to the kitchen, ready to eat despite the hour, to be met with a very tired Mountain. “Bug, what are you doing up? I thought we taught you how to read clocks?” he asked, still awake from the previous day. “Is Halloween Mounty! I couldn’t sleep any longer, too excited!”

Mountain sighed, clearly Swiss hasn’t been teaching Phantom how to tell the date as well as the time, “Tommy, it’s only the 29th of October, Halloween isn’t for another two days.” He frowned, upset for the eager ghoul. Phantom’s eyes began to water, tears instantly falling at the realisation, embarrassed and dismayed.

“Oh it’s alright, Bug, we can celebrate today if you’d like? Think of it as a practice!” Mountain replied frantically trying to abate the weeping ghoul. He pulled out his phone and texted the groupchat:

Mountain (3:06am): Ok ghouls change of plans… we’re celebrating Halloween today. Be ready :)

Dew (3:07am): huh? halpoween isnt todsy tho

Cumulus (3:07am): Yeah, what? What have you been meddling with Big Boy?

Mountain (3:10am): Phantom thought it was Halloween today and now he’s crying because it isn’t. I can’t bear to look at him like that so I told him we’re doing it today ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Mountain (3:10am): Not my fault btw! Someone (@Swisstopher) didn’t teach new bug how to read the date

Swiss (3:18am): …

Come sunrise, the pack was ready for the rootin-ist tootin-ist Halloween this side of October 31st. Mountain and Aether were dressed up as cowboys, basically an Arthur Morgan cosplay. Aurora wore Phantom’s devil costume with Rain still sporting the angel side. Dew and Cirrus were both zombies, full makeup (and a bit of unglamouring) making them look truly horrifying. Cumulus is wearing a sexy police outfit, because fuck the cops, right? And Swiss is shirtless, wearing a toilet seat cover with ‘Dracula’ written on it in sharpie, “I’m sexy dracula, OK?!”

Phantom was sitting on the edge of his bed, kicking his legs in excitement, ready to start the day. He was adorning a bat costume he made all by himself. It was a black cloth with eye holes cut out and some metal wire to make wings, Aether helped with that part.

They spent the day watching low-budget horror films and eating the Halloween goodies that they’d been saving for trick-or-treaters. Phantom was snuggled on the sofa right in the middle of the large ghoul cuddle pile, chirping happily as he realised how loved he was, his pack did this for him. They sat all day in their uncomfortable costumes just to give him the best not-Halloween ever, and it wasn’t even sundown yet.

Phantom sat by the front door, his tongue poked out as he tied his shoes, ready to go out. The whole pack was coming with him on his first candy hunt, except Dew, he’d gone on a smoke break and was taking so long they left without him.

Dew was, in fact, not on a smoke break. He was carefully knocking on the door of each house the pack was going to visit, “Hi! Yeah I know it’s not Halloween but my friend thinks it is, so could you just play along, please?” he asked, far too many times on behalf of what looked like a fully grown adult. Most of the houses complied, and the few that didn’t, well, Dew gave them a 20 and they quickly got on board. Nothing was going to ruin his Phantom’s night!

And so, one-by-one the occupants of the nearest village were met with a bedraggled Phantom in his homemade bat costume. “Trick or treat?” He’d shout, arms outstretched, holding a comically large bucket for the size of the ghoul offering it.

“Oh sweet thing, happy Halloween! I love your costume, did you make it yourself?” One old lady asked. Phantom nodded as he blushed and twirled to show off the wings. “Very impressive, young man. I think you deserve some chocolate for that, don’t you?” She smiled as she almost emptied a whole tub into Phantom’s bucket, his arms buckling at the weight.

The moon was illuminating the night sky, and the night was winding down. The young ghoul had long abandoned his candy bucket, simply too heavy for him to hold. They walked back to the abbey, Cumulus carrying the night’s haul while Swiss gave Phantom a piggyback, the quintessence ghoul’s legs sore from all the walking.

When they opened the front door, they were met with Copia in bat wings matching Phantom’s. He’d missed the day due to clergy commitments but wanted to show his support for his favourite ghoul. Copia guided them all to the common room where he’d decorated it as grotesquely as he could; bones everywhere, blood dripping from the ceiling, and various speakers playing spooky sounds.

Phantom plopped himself in the middle of the room, taking in the view and soundscape surrounding him as he ate the treats Cirrus left out for tonight, the rest stored safely away from the young ghoul. He couldn’t help but think how lucky he was to be in such a supportive pack. Oh boy was he ready for actual Halloween.

and they were roommates

[moldycantaloupe]

THE GHOST THOUGHTS,,,OUGH THEY HAUNT ME/POS

Like, I feel like we as a Fandom give Phantom SO much shit. We pile on all the angst and issues, and I totally get that. I vibe with it! But the bug needs some love!!

Swiss being sweet on him, Aurora bonding with him, even dew!! Literally just wholesome silly thoughts about The Bug™️ being beloved by his pack :[

moon!! hello again from the inbox!

you're so right, Bug the beloved needs some loving in these trying times.

I can imagine Aurora immediately taking them under her wings (literally?) when they were both summoned and bonded SO well with them. there's not a moment where they're separated, even if it means they're just in the same room.

swiss teaching them everything life has to offer on Topside. watching the stars in their eyes grow when they find things they especially like (you know, pasta, scooby doo,... bats). helping them find their callings

Dew being super protective over them. they're the new rhythm guitarist, the ministry and Co need to treat them as such. anytime he sees the murmurs of siblings behind phantoms back, he gives them The Eyes and the siblings don't peep a word. even being protective of them within the pack; keeping close during dinner or walking them to their room.

just... super doting pack for the ant.

(also the other girls- cumulus, Cirrus, Sunshine, acting like their aunties. super loud in their cooing and they blush and try to hide from their constant praise. ugh!!)

[ghostieboi1]

Papas and Pets

Papas I, II, III, IV

Summary: The types of pets the Papas would have and what kind of "animal dad" they'd be. (I was writing this while my cat was napping on me, he's very sweet 🥹)

Genres: Headcanons and fluff.

Warnings: Nothing other than tooth rotting fluff, all gifs are not mine

Primo

Bird dad.

It's pretty simple logic, he's out in the gardens a lot more after retiring from being Papa and where do you constantly see birds? In gardens.

He's also fond of animals that aren't quite domesticated like opossums or raccoons but absolutely adores birds.

Any bird works for him but he has a particular fondness of owls, he has one in his room that's allowed to fly around freely most of the time.

That same owl can be seen wherever he's allowed to take it, whether it be on his shoulder or flying around him in a room.

He prides himself in being able to tame wild birds since it seems he's the only one in the Ministry that can, he calls himself the bird whisperer.

He's also the one you go to if a bird accidentally flew into one of the rooms in the Ministry because he'll wait until the bird lands near him then picks it up like it's just a rock or something and bring it outside.

For those cultured out there, you know that scene in Shrek 2 where Snow White sends those birds to attack those tree guard dudes? If he had to, Primo would probably be able to do it too.

Secondo

Snake dad.

I feel like he's also kinda snake coded, the vast majority of people are afraid of him because he looks scary but then there's the few that love him to death (me) and see he's just a silly man.

He's known for scaring anyone that openly talks shit about him with one of his pet snakes, so most people keep their opinions on him in private.

The first snake he had was when he was younger and Primo freaked out a little after a snake hissed at him and Secondo just picked it up was like "I'm keeping him and his name will be Tommy."

And since then he's always had at least one pet snake around, he started naming them after fictional characters that were often associated with snakes, including naming one of them Slytherin.

He can and will make the "May I take your jacket, sir/ma'am?" joke when one of his snakes sheds their skin.

Let's his snake mostly free roam his room when he's in the room as well so if he thinks they might get stuck or hurt, he's there to prevent it from happening.

Terzo

Cat dad.

This man LOVES cats, and he will openly cry if he sees anything where a cat is hurt or in danger even if it's fictional.

His favorite are black cats, mostly because he's sad they aren't shown enough love and because they seem to be the nicest cats.

He's also tried finding almost completely wild cats to adopt because he finds them absolutely beautiful.

Both Sister Imperator and Nihil have found him walking relatively fast in the Ministry's hallways late at night holding his jacket closed and stopped to ask him what he was doing and every time, without fail, the cat he was trying to hide meowed.

If he wasn't living in the Ministry, he'd be the crazy cat lady down the road that would even feed the stray cats his house couldn't hold.

COVERED in cat hair and cat scratches/bites all the time, it's impossible for him to get rid of them.

He's the "I found this cat malnourished in a garbage dumpster and I brought him here and he's my baby now" cat dad.

Copia

Well, we can all guess what animal dad he is; Rat dad.

He used to be afraid of them but then he became fascinated with them and the rest is history.

Most people don't know about his pet rats so when they visit him in his office or room they get startled by them and maybe scream as Copia is just sitting at his desk/on his bed like "No! No! It's okay! It's okay!"

Similar to Terzo, he smuggled rats and would get caught by Sister Imperator every time.

Definitely gives his rats weird names like "Ratty Fatty" or some shit like that.

Also makes his rats fly when he wants to, but most of the time his rats will be napping somewhere on him.

Refers to his rats as his kids so when new Siblings of Sin join, they think he means actually children until they meet his rats.

Baby talks to his rats 24/7, and teaches his rats tricks when he's bored.

[the-hole-in-terzos-shoe]

Bundle of Joy

In which Reader takes Copia to see the babies in the ministry. Sfw, fluff. I tried to write this so he could be seen as Cardinal or as Papa. Either way I hope you find it adorable 🥰

@copiousloverofcopia

Also low-key inspired by this post 💅✨

• • •

"Come on, come on!" you chirp, dragging your beloved Copia behind you.

"Oh... I don't know, mia cara," he starts, clearly not wanting to hurt your feelings, "I don't even really know how I feel about having kids."

"Copia," you stop dragging him and move close to him, your hands find his cheeks and his finding your waist, "It's not like we're having a baby tomorrow, and I know how stressed you've been lately. Trust me it'll brighten your day, they're just little bundles of joy."

"Ah, well, okie dokie. I am putting my trust in you."

"You should always trust me," you wink at him, "besides, as Papa, I'm sure you'll have to give some thought to having kids one day. Maybe this'll warm you up to the idea."

You happily continue dragging him along to the maternity ward of the ministry. It was always hustling and bustling over there as Siblings of Sin and Ghouls ran around getting towels, water, ice, painkillers, whatever the new mamas needed to bring their newborns into this world. Just the thought of it made Copia look like he wanted to pass out.

But just a quick walk through the chaos brought you to a very peaceful room, this was primarily where you worked in the ministry: taking care of the newborns who were sick or just needed more time being monitored before being sent home with their parents. In fact, a couple of Siblings sat next to one of the tiny beds cooing their newborn now.

As one of the little ones piped up very loudly to express their disapproval, Copia leaned into muttering, "That does not sound like a 𝘣𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘫𝘰𝘺, as you put it, cara."

Giggling at his remark, you stride over to the cradle of the upset baby, scooping them up soothe them. Another baby nearby starts to grumble and whine, hearing their neighbor be so loud. "Here, why don't you take that one?" you call out to your lover.

"I, uh, I don't know..." he walks over to the cradle, watching the little one make a grouchy face and whine some more.

You keep bouncing the newborn in your arms, trying to keep them quiet so they don't upset the other babies. But still they continue to cry.

Finally, as Copia stares down at the newborn in the cradle, they lay out a shriek. Copia winces at the sounds. Now you can't have every baby in the room getting upset, so you rush over to Copia, handing him the bundle in your arms, before reaching out to get the second crying baby. The man next to you is flustered but does everything he can to make sure he has a good grip on the small little person in his arms. He's not sure what to do, so he just kind of stares blankly at the baby and sways in place a little.

As you walk and bounce the one in your arms, you quietly hear a giggle come from the blanket in Copia's arms. "Erhhh... What's it doing?"

You come up next to your lover to see the little one giving him a gummy smile and laughing away. "They're laughing at the big silly man holding them. Here-" you shove the other noisy bundle in his arms, "try this one."

He stands there, two babies in his arms, certainly confused and a little overwhelmed. Sure enough, cries turn to laughter once again.

"See? Bundles of joy," you point out, "You must have the magic touch." Truthfully, it was probably his face paint, but you weren't gonna be the one to tell him.

He carefully sits both babes in the cradle next to him, leaning over to look at their little hands and mouths and noses. "Tesoro..." he whispers, not wanting to upset anyone again, "they're so small!" Fascination fills his eyes as he watches their tiny fingers wrap around his one large gloved one. He gasps, "Look!!!" The fascination quickly turned to a small frown as the baby stuck his expensive Italian leather glove in their mouth. "Do they all do that?"

You let out a snort, "Yes, they all do that."

Copia wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you close, kissing you on the forehead, "Bene." Perhaps he'll give some thought to this whole baby thing after all.

[sailtomarina]

Will it fit?

Hermione stood in front of the mirror nervously smoothing the pleats of her dress, a floaty, ephemeral thing hitting just above the knees that Luna insisted appropriately fit the pagan holiday. Hermione had never been one for celebrating anything aside from birthdays, Christmas, and New Year’s, but ever since entering the Wizarding world she found herself on a treadmill of festivals and holidays almost every month of the year. This time, it was Ēostre, or Ostara, or Easter, whatever you preferred to call it. It was one of a handful of celebrations of spring.

This year, rather than celebrating at one another’s homes like usual, their friends had opted to sign up for the Ministry-sponsored event. Guests were invited to frolic in fields and plant literal seeds for harvesting produce later in the season. A feast would follow that same evening under the ceiling of the night sky. It all seemed terribly whimsical and romantic, and normally Hermione would be excited if not for one more pesky detail.

In addition to the event signup was an optional service: matchmaking. And of course, her friends scribbled her name down for both.

So what if it had been months since her last romantic relationship? She was perfectly pleased with her life at the moment. Her days consisted of work, meals, reading, and evening walks. She even included socialization with semi-weekly trivia at the Leaky Cauldron and Flourish and Blotts’ monthly book club meetings. 

It was with irritation and swiftly growing horror that Hermione discovered not only was she to attend the silly Ēostre event, and she would do so with a blind date. Pairs were provided with thin golden arm bands that slipped over the elbow and twinkled with a color matching only one other. Hermione’s armlet sparkled white gold.

“Does it fit?” Luna’s head poked into the washroom where she continued to examine herself.

Gesturing to the band that magically sized to fit snugly around her bicep, Hermione nodded. “Unfortunately, yes. Let’s hope whoever I end up with fits just as well.”

“Oh, you needn’t worry about that. The matches include compatibility charms,” chirped Luna, as she braided small white blossoms into Hermione’s curls.

“Compatibility…charms? Is that even legal?”

She tittered as she waved a wand over her handiwork, ensuring Hermione’s hair and makeup would stay in place for several hours. “Yes. It doesn't affect your choices or anything sinister like that. Just points you in a promising direction and lets you figure out the rest.”

“Hmph. Well I suppose I could use the help given my poor choice in partners.”

“Your last one wasn’t that bad, Hermione, and Oliver was definitely worth the time.” Hermione blushed at Luna’s knowing wink. Oliver certainly did give her some delicious memories, and their breakup was friendly enough given the circumstances. “No more dilly-dallying! It’s time to go.”

Slipping on a pair of leather Grecian sandals and taking one more peek in the mirror, Hermione took a deep breath and tried to smile. Compatible sounded like a good thing, didn’t it?

***

“Oh, my god.”

Draco Malfoy stood frozen in front of her in a similar state of shock. An identical arm band fit around his arm. He cut a fine figure, if she was being honest with herself, in his cerulean chinos and tailored white oxford, sleeves rolled up to bare his muscled forearms with prominent veins cording the length of them. Shaking his head as if waking himself from a trance, he stepped closer to wave his hand over her arm. The resulting pulse of light confirmed their suspicions.

“Uh…” Could she be any less dull-witted? Where were the words that usually flowed out of her mouth like a bloody flood? Her mouth clicked shut—hanging open earlier like an imbecile—when he lifted his elbow to offer an escort.

“You look lovely, Hermione. It would be my pleasure to accompany you.”

Her tongue loosened at last. “Malf—Draco. What a…pleasant surprise.”

He smirked at her obvious difficulty at pleasantries.

“I would have never expected you of all people to require matchmaking.”

“Yes, well, I suspect we both have well meaning, meddlesome friends.” 

She had to share a smile at that.

It wasn’t that she loathed Draco Malfoy. Quite far from it, actually. She had definitely noticed him over the years as their circles occasionally bumped and overlapped. First it was the occasional work collaboration, then it was friends dating. The formerly thin and haunted young man filled out, his eyes lightening and gaining confidence. He was now the object of many a glance when circumstances threw them together, and even a friendly word now and then.

She just couldn’t fathom any dimension where he’d be interested in dating her, and she’d rather bite her tongue off than admit to fancying his appallingly good looks.

Damn Luna.

“Shall we go pick our seeds?” He guided them towards the tables where others gathered.

“Not quite done sowing your oats?” 

Why in Godric’s name did she have to be so nasty?

Rather than getting insulted, he surprised her by chuckling softly. “Long past that stage of my life—does that disappoint you?”

He picked up a small basket and guided them towards the root vegetable section.

“So are you actually looking to settle down? Find the next Lady Malfoy?” Hermione snagged parsnip seeds, to which he nodded approvingly.

“I’m strongly considering it.”

“I’m not exactly Malfoy material.”

“I know.” 

Turnips made their way into the basket. She licked her lips imagining sharp bites of the taproot in a bed of arugula and prosciutto. She couldn’t find any fault in his chosen produce. If anything, they’d make a fantastic salad together.

“But you’re my preferred material.”

Jerking to a stop, she looked fully up into his eyes for the first time. He gazed back, not a hint of humor on his face. He was serious.

She could barely breathe the question shouting against her skull. “Since when?”

He reached forward with one hand to tuck a wayward curl behind her ear before running his fingertips down her arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. Grasping her hand in his, he prompted her to resume walking out towards the fields.

“For longer than I’d care to admit right now.” He didn’t elaborate, and Hermione found herself utterly devoid of any courage for further inquiry.

Following the rows of carefully labeled signs, they made their way silently to the appropriate section to cast their seeds out into the dirt, where they magically burrowed into the earth.

“Well that was much easier than expected,” he mused, glancing around to watch as others similarly finished.

“It’s more symbolic than literal planting, isn’t it? No digging into the dirt by hand here.”

Appraising her form with an appreciative eye that resulted in a pretty flush, he responded, “And a good thing, too, given our attire.”

She snorted in agreement. “I don’t know what Luna was thinking, picking this dress out.”

“Probably what I’m thinking right now. I meant what I said earlier, Hermione. You are lovely.”

She couldn’t take it anymore. Where did he get off being so…charming? So complimentary and intriguing? With a scoff, she pushed him back a step, her palms flat against his chest.

“Stop it, Malfoy. You don’t have to force yourself to be nice just because we were coincidentally matched together.”

Warm hands grasped her wrists, gently holding them in place.

“I’m not forcing anything. And even if neither one of us were signed up for today, I would’ve asked you out on my own soon anyways.”

There he went grabbing her attention again. It felt like rather than her wrists he was holding, it was her heart in a tight fist.

“All these years I've always wondered why I’m constantly drawn to you. Why I started out unable to stop teasing you, saying anything that came to mind to catch your attention. Stupid things. Regrettable things.”

“So stupid.” Her soft interjection pulled a wry smile from him in the middle of his speech.

“And after all the shite, the war, the trials, the slog of adulthood, I realized something.”

She could barely breathe listening to his words.

“I like you. I more than like you. I want to get to know you. See if we fit together as much as I think we will.”

Standing in the middle of a field, an uncharacteristic British sun beating down on them and people milling all around casting seeds in the hopes they’d take hold and grow into more, Hermione’s breath came back all at once. Pulling one hand loose from his grip, she returned his favor from earlier and brushed a silken strand of platinum hair off his forehead.

“I think we will, too.”

Or perhaps it wasn’t the sun that shone so brightly, but Draco himself as he smiled wider than she’d ever seen before.

[emeritus-fuckers]

Heyy

So I woke up and decided to not stay in my room looking like a feral possum✨ do you think you could write something about a self care day with nihil (old cause old him is superior 💅🏽) and primo? Just a ton of cuteness and simping 😩💙

Bold of you to assume I know anything about self-care - Jez

Self-care day with old Papa Nihil and Primo

Papa Nihil

Old man can barely take care of himself at this point, so this was probably your idea.

He's gonna be sceptical about it first. Don't take this personally, he's always sceptical at first.

"Listen, I'm already old and covered in wrinkles, I don't think a facemask or some silly massage is gonna do much about it."

Gives in eventually because he's a fucking simp and he needs your approval.

He's a "Walk him like a dog and he'll beg you to let him bark" type of guy when it comes to you. Of course he gave in.

You have no idea what grip you have on him. He's wrapped around your finger completely.

He sends you to whatever store you need to go in order to buy everything you wanted for this "self-care day" you came up with.

Send a few Ghouls with you. For protection and so they carry your bags.

You're obviously spending his money, not yours. Go all out, old man's got stacks.

When you return, you find that he had some Siblings of Sin help him arrange a little spa area in his chambers. And by help I mean they did everything while he stood there complaining it wasn't perfect enough for you.

Only the best for the love of his life!

Now, Nihil has no idea what any of the products you use do. He used to be fairly knowledgeable when he was younger, but there was way less stuff back then and he stopped using all that years ago. Too much effort.

He lets you organize everything.

You've got an old music compilation playing quietly in the background while you both lay there in your facemasks, relaxing as you talk about everything and nothing.

You go through any procedure he's willing to sit through.

He only has three conditions, really. He needs to be able to use his oxygen machine (obviously), he needs to be able to move his face properly and it can't hurt.

You make a neat little plan of all the facial stuff you two do, making sure to take reasonable breaks between them. He's over a hundred years old, his bladder ain't what it used to be.

You take a movie break when it's time for dinner, ordering take out.

"You see, Papa, on days like this, we're being bad." you winked at him before making the phone call to order your food.

Oh, how he loved the way those words sounded when you said them...

After you two finished eating, you insisted on doing his nails. And once again, he couldn't refuse.

You worked diligently while he got to watch a movie.

Okay, let's be real, he watched you work while he movie played in the background.

When you were done, he tried doing your nails, too. It was a disaster, but you just laughed it off and kept your messy, uneven nail polish for as long as you could.

Primo

Primo has his own definition of a self-care day, but he's willing to compromise if what you want is very different from what he usually does when he has the rare opportunity to take a day off.

When he's not busy working, he spends his free time tending to the garden. His age sadly limits what he can do, but he has a group of young Siblings of Sin help out. They all look up to him, seeing him as a father figure (he has a unique sort of aura that brings in people who didn't have good parental figures in their lives and he always ends up filling that role for them), so they love helping him, even if in small ways.

He enjoys reading, too. And knitting. You know, the typical cozy old people hobbies. He likes the idea of being able to relax in his life, after everything he did both for the Ministry and for the people in it.

However, he tends to overwork himself. Put the people before him. He's a good soul, one that yearns for a family, even if he couldn't have one. He threw his youth away to raise his brothers and while he doesn't regret that, he wishes he could've had at least a bit more time to himself.

He was happy when you offered a self-care day just for the two of you. He left a list of things to do in the garden and let you plan the day.

He adored how well you knew him, even if he wasn't a very open person.

You two planted some flowers in new pots in his room first. He guided you through it, teaching you about the plants.

You baked a nice cake, too. And made tea (once again, from scratch. Primo makes his tea from scratch and I will die on this hill - Jez).

You enjoy what you made in his greenhouse, the butterflies flying around and sitting on the both of you as you took a walk together after eating.

Just like the taught you about plants, he taught you about the butterflies, showing you their eggs and teaching how to tell the difference between their chrysalises.

You spend the day there, time flying like the butterflies around you.

In the evening you both read in bed when the evening came and then cuddled to sleep, Primo wrapping his arms around you and humming quietly to soothe you.

[weirdraccoon]

Another idea if you're interested 💕.

Praticamente il seguito di un'idea già realizzata.

MC e Sebastian hanno un appuntamento romantico (o un intoppo di lavoro come preferisci) e chiedono a Eleazar di fare da babysitter alla piccola Miriam per qualche ora e proprio in quel momento Miriam decide di sviluppare una magia accidentale (sparando fuoco dalla sua bocca ecc.)

ohmygodohmygodyeeees!!! (i haven't forgotten about the last one, just these days I'm not feeling up for anything but this one yeeees!!!"

I hope google translate didn't muck it up cause I don't know Italian xd

Practically the sequel to an idea already realized.

MC and Sebastian have a romantic date (or a business snag as you prefer) and ask Eleazar to babysit little Miriam for a few hours and just then Miriam decides to develop accidental magic (shooting fire from her mouth etc. )

will also add a silly drawing later. this gave me "jack jack attack" vibes

Fig waved goodbye from his doorstep, also grabbing little Miriam's hand to wave goodbye to her parents. The young couple had the privilege to be invited to a gala celebrating something or other at the Ministry, or like Sebastian liked to explain it "to suffer through a night of schmoozing and networking".

Well, if EmSea wanted to become Minister she had to schmooze and network as much as possible. And Ominis would be there to help them. Fig wasn't too worried about his girl's ambitions.

"How about we have some dinner and then we listen to music while we do our homework?"

Miriam was only five years old, way too young to go to Hogwarts, but with parents like hers, she had been introduced to magical and muggle culture and history from the moment she was born. Sebastian, mainly, loved to read to her and he taught her how to read in record time. EmSea, on her part, liked to stroll in muggle London, taking her daughter with her so she could understand muggles were as human as wizarkin. So far, it seemed like the little girl loved all the muggle items she saw in her walks, but also all the old traditions wizards practice.

And she was already showing signs of powerful magic.

Fig never saw any of this, but according to Sebastian and EmSea, little Miriam was proficient at the summoning charm. There was nowhere in their house where they could hide the cookies or candy. Miriam always found them or summoned them from their places to her little hands.

At least she hadn't shown any ancient magic yet. Fig didn't know for sure how EmSea grew up or how dangerous her accidental magic was, but he hoped little Miriam didn't face the same obstacles as her mom did.

Miriam wouldn't have to hide her magic, bury it so deep it only came out under duress at her almost fifteen years old... No. Fig, along with Sebastian, EmSea, and Ominis (who has been an excellent godfather so far) would make sure Miriam grew up loved and safe and developing her magic to her full potential.

So, thinking about the books he read about kids' healthy development, Fig played some classic music that was supposed to help with attention and mind awareness.

"I like that," Miriam babbled, dutifully coloring the book her father left her with. "It's... relaxing," she giggled, laying her head on top of the book.

Fig smirked, glad the child liked it. He sat on his sofa with the new year's lesson plan and focused on correcting it. His apprentice was good but still needed some corrections here and there, specifically when organizing the topics from general to specific.

He wasn't sure how much time went by, but suddenly he realized Miriam had been way too quiet for a little five-year-old. He peeked over his papers and froze when he saw her missing.

"Shoot," he jumped to his feet, trying not to panic. "Ok, ok, it's ok. The wards won't let her go out, she has to be here," he looked around. The flat wasn't too big: a kitchen, a dining space, the living space he was currently standing in, two bedrooms, and one bathroom. "Miriam?" He called. "Where are you, you little snidget?"

Nothing.

Then.

Giggles echoed around him, sending shivers down his spine and making him look around with anxiety.

"I knew EmSea was a demon but why did she have a demon baby?" He muttered, then walked to the hallway that led to EmSea's old room. "Miriam?"

Something popped behind him, making him flinch and turn with his wand in hand.

There was nothing there.

Another 'pop'. Then another. And another. Surrounding him.

"Oh my dear Merlin, Miriam, are you apparating!?" He cried. "That's. that's dangerous, dear! Just- Hey! Who wants a cookie?"

Pop!

Miriam apparated right into his arms. He grunted and caught her before she could fall.

"I like cookies, gran'pa," Miriam grinned innocently.

"Yeah, ok," Fig sighed, tightening his hold on her. "But no more apparating. And your mom said only one before going to bed."

Miriam frowned but kept quiet as Fig took her to the kitchen. Her wide brown eyes observed as he opened the cupboard over the sink and revealed the full jar of cookies. He grabbed only one.

"Here, let's go back to sitting, shall we?"

Miriam munched on her cookie, but her eyes were glued to the cupboard.

Suddenly, it caught on fire.

"Fuck!" Fig shouted, placing Miriam on the floor. "Shit. No- Don't- Don't repeat those words, ok darling?" Then he ran back to the kitchen, trying to stop the fire with a couple of spells.

When the fire died out, he turned to make sure Miriam wasn't injured.

He found her munching on more cookies, jar safely guarded between her legs.

"This is going be a long night, isn't it?"

Miriam giggled.

Then floated.

The music didn't sound so relaxing anymore.

[cloudghoul32]

𝐀 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞- 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈

Cardinal Copia x Female!Reader

Summary: The new cardinal arrived. You want to get to know him more, and Terzo notices this. Maybe he can help you.

Word count: Around 900 words

______________________________________________________________

"He's here!"

Sister Imperator smiled, nodding at the door. Nihil turned and you froze in your tracks. You were supposed to deliver some papers to Terzo, which required you to pass through where Papa Nihil and Sister were talking. You looked at the door expectantly, hoping they wouldn't see you.

The door opened and there stood the cardinal, dressed in a black cassock and biretta, carrying a boombox on his shoulder. Your heart pace quickened; who was this man? And why was he so incredibly handsome?

He set his boombox down and looked up at Nihil. "Hello, Papa," he said. "You're looking well."

You watched as he said hello to Sister and as Nihil turned to her and asked to talk with her privately. They both headed away from the cardinal and whispered to each other about Satan knows what. Meanwhile the cardinal stood there, waiting expectantly for them to come back. You took your chance and walked over to him. "Hello," you said. His mismatched eyes shone at the sight of you. "Ah! Hello! You must be a sibling or something, si?" He stuck his hand out for you to shake. "Yes, I'm a sibling. I'm Y/N, by the way," you said.

"Y/N. Lovely name." He gazed into your eyes for a moment, silence filling your ears. He snapped out of it. "Ah wait. I almost forgot, I am Copia. Eh... Cardinal Copia. Sorry." he chuckled. Just then, Sister and Nihil came back. "Oh, Cardinal. Have you found a new friend?" she smiled. Nihil still had his almost angry-looking expression but didn't say anything. Copia glanced at you again, eyes falling on yours. But he quickly broke away and looked at the ground. "Ehm, yes. I guess so. This is Y/N," he said. "Yes, I am aware, we've met," Sister Imperator said. Copia's face grew red. "Oh. Si, I-I forgot."

"Well, I've got to get going," you said, now with the attention of Nihil, Sister, and Copia. You felt a little silly for intruding their private conversation and Copia's entrance, but you shook it off as you remembered you had to bring those papers to Papa III. "Will I see you later?" Copia called as you were leaving, and his words melted your heart. When was the last time someone was worried about seeing you again?

"Of course," you called back. You left with a small, satisfactory smile. You could feel everyone's stares behind you, but you tried to ignore it by thinking about other things. Hmm, what should you make for dinner? Maybe you should make something simple, you'd be coming home late, you needed to buy some food. I'll go to the store tomorrow, you thought.

You turned the corner to Terzo's office. You were friends with him, and people often mistook it for a crush. Yes, he was nice, but you weren't too sure. You more or less just thought of him as a friend, someone you could trust when things got difficult. He'd been your best friend since you joined the ministry. You weren't sure what he thought of you, though. He was always kissing siblings on the cheek, and it was no surprise he kissed you too, all the time. You didn't think much of it, you just ignored it and let him do what he wanted.

"Hey, Terzo," you said as you entered his room. Terzo looked up from his desk and looked at the stack of papers you were carrying. He sighed. "More papers. Of course," he mumbled. He shook his head. "Sorry. Eh, Y/N! I haven't seen you today. Where have you been?" he grinned. Terzo pulled you into a hug. "Oh, I was just... meeting the new cardinal. Did you know he came today? I talked to him a little," you giggled. "He's really nice." You didn't make eye contact as you said this, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Ah, is that so?" Terzo chuckled. "It seems that little Sorella here is in love."

"Well, I mean, I don't really know him yet," you tried defending yourself. "He seems nice. I mean, he's awkward and... I don't know." You set the stack of papers on his desk. "Anyway. I brought your papers." You smiled at him before turning away and walking back to your room. "

"Wait, Y/N!"

Terzo came from behind you, placing a hand on your shoulder. "You think he's nice?" he asked. Your face turned a little redder. "Um... yes." He smiled again. "You want to be his friend?" He was making you slightly nervous, but you nodded. Terzo took his hand off of your shoulder and stood in front of you. "I can help you. I have lots of experience, you know." You looked at him. He was right, he was very experienced. And you trusted him. He'd always helped you. Slowly you nodded.

"Alright. So, first of all, you want him to be comfortable with you. Become his friend. Grow closer with him. It might take some time, but it will be worth it." Terzo took your hands in his. "You will do fine. I promise."

You thanked him and left the room.

Okay, befriend the cardinal. I can do that.

You hadn't known him for more than 5 minutes, but you decided that you liked him. And you were going to try to make him like you back.

______________________________________________________________

-To be continued-

[moose-mousse]

I work for insane people

So… I started work a few months ago and...

I keep being impressed with corporations lowering my expectations.

Like. EVERY time I think "Surely, this is as incompetent as it gets".

The boss is nice, the workers are nice, every PERSON is great so far. But the firm is just… fucked in ways that makes it hard to not scream with laughter.

It is like working in the ministry of silly walks by Monty Python. Insane things are happening, and everyone just acts like it is normal.

A dude was stating to someone else near me, that despite the costumers saying they did not want it, his code that crashed the application once a day, was NECESSARY, because writing code without memory leaks in C is basically impossible. Like… I just have all these small moments of insanity. Completely disconnected from each-other

My boss showing me and the other 3 new hires the coffee room, where a big screen proudly shows that not a single software product have 100% code coverage… as in, not a single person in this entire building filled with software people knows how code coverage works. He then points out an empty bowl, and declares "Twice a week, there is a fruit event". By which he means, fresh fruit is provided, and people can just grab some…. just said by a alien who is pretending to be human. Badly.

He then explained that the 2 coffee machines in here makes bad coffee. He then takes us to the copy room, showing us that THIS is where the GOOD coffee machine is. Which only takes coffee beans from a SPECIFIC vendor (Is… is the coffee machine… sponsored????)

He briefly pets the Foosball table (Again, in the copy room), which is jammed up against the wall so you can only reach the controls on one side ( Because, again, it is a copy room, and there is not enough space for it ) and he exclaims "Ahhhh… Not enough people are using this"

Suggesting, that he is trying to promote the little known sport "Single-player Foosball">

I start setting up my work PC and... Whenever any of the developers in this place wants to install things on their PC's, including compilers and testing frameworks, they have to either use the "SOFTWARE CENTER" program, which installs it FOR you… or in 10% of the cases, fails, without giving you any context for why it did that, and no tools for fixing it. Is it missing a dependency? Not working with the OS? Who knows!

Some programs cannot be installed like this though, because the SOFTWARE CENTER is not updated a lot. And when you want to install something the normal way… You get a popup, where you must provide a written explanation for why you need to have temporary admin rights to your own dang PC … you then submit that, and your screen will then be watched remotely by a worker from India, for a varied amount of time you are not told…

Or at least it says so. Maybe the Indian dude watching me is just an empty threat. Who knows. But they get to see me running absolutely… BONKERS .bat files

Like, I CHECKED them, and a good 80% of them calls a Power-Shell script in the folder above it, called "YES_OR_NO.ps1" which opens a windows 95 window informing you that DURING INSTALLATION YOU MAY NOT USE THE KEYBOARD OR MOUSE, AS IT MAY DISTURB THE SCRIPT THAT WILL INSTALL THE PROGRAM. A normal installation wizard then runs, except the developers are not trusted to click the buttons, and instead the script does it for you by moving and clicking the mouse.

All of this is documented. In markdown like reasonable people? Of course not! It is in ENHANCED markdown. Which is markdown in the same way javascript is java.

ENHANCED markdown requires browser and visual studio code extensions to be read. Completely missing the point of markdown being readable both raw and encoded… And sometimes word documents And sometimes power-point presentations left next to another bat file… this one calling the .exe file… right next to it…. I later found out is because the idea USED to be that all documentation MUST be made with Microsoft office tools.

I had to read the code of conduct today. And it was actually very well written.

I then watched a interactive animation telling me about the code of conduct… which it not only got a fact wrong about, it also broke it once.

I repeat. The introductory course in the code of conduct… broke the code of conduct'

After I watched that, and read the safety material…. which literally just said "Wear safety boots in the production floor"… I was then show the testing room.

I was lead to a different building, saying hello to the Vice CEO who was walking the other way, we walk into the production floor, ignored the fact that none of us have safety boots on, and walks into a room, with a 3*2 meter wide machine, several meters tall.

We edge around it, quietly hoping no one turns it on, since we would get slammed by it if they did, and walk down some stairs into the basement. Casually walk over a small river in the floor from a pipe that is leaking… what I really hope is water, and over to a shelf rack FILLED with the most MacGyver shit you ever did see.

Including, but not limited to, the 3D printed plastic block, with a piston that repeatedly smacking half a aluminum nameplate over the device it is testing. You see, it is a capacitance button, and it is testing it by simulating a human finger pressing it many thousands of times, a saws off antenna which is the end of a cable that is attached to it via a nice thick bolt, so it can send fake signals into it.

And of course the 24 volt, 5 amp system that is turning a circuit board on and off again, until it will crack.

We walk back out, remembering to step over the small river, which never even got a comment, and walk back to my department It is SO great. It is like working in the ministry of silly walks by Monty Python Like… Do I think I can bring value to this company? Like, making it better and more efficient? Yes. It would be hard not to!

And his is the largest pump manufacturer in the world! A super serious company with 4 billion dollars of revenue a year. And it is just… a NUTHOUSE

Like… NEVER believe the myth that corporations are competent.

[master-john-uk]

History of the world's most famous front door

Downing Street has been the official residence of the UK's Prime Minister since Sir Robert Walpole moved in in 1735. It was originally No. 5 Downing Street until the houses were renumbered in 1779. Since 1997 the Prime Minister's private apartment has actually been above No. 11 Downing Street.

The original six-panelled Georgian-style front door was fitted in 1770's. It was made from black oak and featured a centre door knob, lion head door knocker and brass letter plate which bore the inscription "First Lord of the Treasury". Following an IRA mortar attack on Downing Street in 1991, the oak door was replaced by a blast-proof steel door of the same design. The brass letterbox today is only decorative... so you can't post a friendly greeting card through the door anymore. There are actually two front doors, which are swapped over when they need repainting. The original wooden door is now stored at The Churchill Museum.

In 1908, PM Herbert Asquith had the door painted green. Apparently the Prime Minister’s wife Margot Asquith complained that the building was "liver-coloured and squalid and lacked the landmark qualities of Marble Arch or the Albert Memorial."

Since renovation work carried out in 1960, the "0" numeral of No. 10 has been at a 37° angle. This puzzled me for many years. I finally got an answer when I was temporarily working for the Ministry of Silly Walks in Whitehall in the 1990's. It seems the zero is actually a capital letter "O" taken from the Roman Trajan alphabet, the font used by the Ministry of Works used at the time. (This answer does not satisfy me completely, but it is the best I can find.)

The door to 10 Downing Street can not be opened from the outside. A security officer is on duty at all times inside the door, who monitors who is approaching via cameras and grants access.

Larry the Cat, Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office has his own private entrance to No. 10. He is the first Downing Street cat to have this privilege. However, Larry only uses the cat-flap when he is on an emergency call out. He generally uses the front door, which is more befitting for a cat of his importance. Larry has served longer in Downing Street than Margaret Thatcher, Sir Winston Churchill or Benjamin Disraeli.

[cloudyzues]

Prompt: curse

@addicted-to-wolfstar @wolfstarmicrofic

word count: 436

Remus Lupin was feeling particularly down that evening. He had been spending most of his time in the Hogwarts library, trying to find a cure for his lycanthropy. But no matter how much he searched, he couldn't find anything that would make his life easier. It seemed that he was doomed to live as a werewolf forever.

As he was walking back to Gryffindor Tower, he heard someone call out his name. He turned around to see Sirius Black, his best friend and secret crush, running towards him.

"Remus, wait up!" Sirius said, catching up to him. "I was hoping to catch you before you got back to the tower."

"What's up, Sirius?" Remus asked, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice. He had long ago resigned himself to the fact that Sirius would never see him as anything more than a friend.

"I was hoping you would come with me," Sirius said, taking Remus' hand. "I have something I want to show you."

Feeling a sudden rush of excitement, Remus allowed himself to be led by Sirius to an empty classroom. Inside, he saw a strange object that looked like a small crystal.

"What is it?" Remus asked, intrigued.

"It's a cursed object," Sirius said, a wicked grin spreading across his face. "One of my cousins stole it from the Ministry. Apparently, if you touch it, you get cursed with the desire to kiss the first person you see."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "That's a pretty silly curse."

"Maybe, but it'll be fun," Sirius said, picking up the crystal. "Are you ready?"

Remus hesitated for a moment, then nodded. Sirius touched the crystal to Remus' hand, and immediately, Remus felt a strange sensation wash over him. He looked up at Sirius, and for a moment, he saw him in a different light. Suddenly, all he wanted was to kiss him.

As Remus stared into Sirius' eyes, he couldn't resist any longer. He leaned in and captured Sirius' lips in a passionate kiss. It was like fireworks exploding inside him, and he felt the intensity of his feelings for Sirius in every fiber of his being. Sirius responded eagerly, and their kiss deepened until they had to break apart, gasping for breath.

As they pulled away from the kiss, Remus couldn't help but smile at Sirius. He had never felt happier or more alive. "Sirius," he whispered, "I never want to let you go."

Sirius chuckled. "You don't have to, Remus. I'm never leaving you." He leaned in and kissed Remus once again, feeling the curse lifting and the weight of his past life lifting with it. They stayed in each other's arms, lost in the moment, knowing that they had each other to face any challenge that came their way.

[titlemewickedwonderland]

The Manager (Ghost fic) Chapter 3

Summary: The Ministry announces an outsider coming to be part of the congregation to help with the Ghost project as a tour manager; little did the Ghoul know; she is nothing like they pictured her or how she'd affect them all.

Support My Workshop!

Chapter 2

"How's work?" the phone was cold against the side of her face as she scribbled down some more notes in her journal and scanned the papers in front of her.

"I'm currently in an investigation of a child kidnapper. It's been pretty tough." Braydon, her husband's voice came from the other end of the line; he sounded tired and distracted meaning he was probably working late again tonight at the station pouring over files.

"A missing child? Shit. How's that going? Any leads?" Ari asked sitting back against the couch.

"Not really, it's a cold dead end right now. How's....how's stuff over there?" well, at least he was trying to make conversation. That was something.

Ari knew Braydon wasn't keen on her staying at the Abbey for her job but why did it matter when they hardly saw each other because of work anyways? She often slept in bed alone most nights of the week and he was gone in the morning before she woke if he did make it back home late in the morning.

"It's going good. These books though are atrocious. Whoever was the manager before me was absolutely shit and stole some money. I'm actually working right now to finish up some details for their next tour. We're leaving in a few days."

"We?" his voice came a little sharper on the other end and Ari winced a bit as she tried to keep her voice calm.

"Yes, we. Braydon. You knew when I took this job that it meant I was working with them...on tour as much as here at the Abbey. I'll be going with them in a few days for their tour and will be gone for the next two months." she explained slowly.

"Two months?!" she pulled the phone from her ear at his raised voice and blew out a breath.

"Yep, but I'm planning on coming back home to visit you before we go in a few days...are you free for us to have dinner or something before then?" she asked; it was silly to be asking her own husband as if she was asking if he was free for a date when she was married to him but she'd realized not long into the marriage how much that man was married more to his work than her at this point.

"I can't Ariel. I have this little boy to find. I can't just drop everything to go have dinner. Time's ticking." Braydon replied in that usual voice Ari knew as disapproval.

"Right...I-I know that. Well, I mean. I suppose I can call you in my free time while I'm on tour to check in and see-"

"Hey, I got to go. I have to go talk to someone about this case real quick." Braydon didn't even say goodbye or let her finish before the line went dead on the other end and Ari was left staring at her phone.

"Right..." she muttered and locked her phone with a heavy sigh as she rubbed her face in exhaustion.

It wasn't that she was physically tired or even mentally tired from work. She was more exhausted from walking around eggshells in her marriage; that bone tiredness that only came when you know something just isn't going right.

Ever since she started her job here at the Abbey a few weeks ago she felt as if her husband wanted nothing to do with her anymore - it wasn't from the lack of trying on her part at least. Braydon was just...busy. But she knew she couldn't keep living like this if she wanted this marriage to work. What did he expect her to do? Drop everything and stay at home? Of course not! She wasn't that kind of woman. She had ambitions and goals of her own and she'd made that perfectly clear when they had started dating; he even supported her...until he got the position he wanted and everything slowly just started falling apart.

The door began to open suddenly, so quietly she didn't even hear it; too busy wallowing in her own self-pity and her disaster of a marriage. It wasn't until a mug was placed on the table in front of her that she looked up.

"Oh, Dew." she forced a smile on her face. "I'm sorry, did you need anything?" she asked looking up at the male who stood so silent and still in front of her just staring down at her.

He didn't wear his mask even when he had on his usual uniform and his skin was that familiar gray tone of his true skin beneath the glamor. His long hair was piled on top of his head and his two small white horns jutted from his forehead as he tipped his head down to look at her.

The room was dark, Copia having gone to bed many hours ago and only a single lamp light in the corner giving her light to work on her papers in preparation for the tour in a few days. But she wasn't expecting visitors let alone Dew of all people who could have found her. Despite working and building relationships with the ghouls over the last few weeks Dewdrop had always kept himself at arm's length. He never sought her out until now it seemed.

"No, you just look like shit."

Ari let out a little bit of a laugh that ended in a sigh as she swiped at her long hair left unbound around her face. "Geez, Dewdrop. You are so sweet. Thanks." she replied rolling her eyes a bit.

The fire ghoul didn't say anything as he nudged the leg of the table with a boot; making it move half an inch in her direction and her eyes fell to the mug of hot cocoa in front of her seeming to realize for the first time that it was actually sitting there.

"Oh...thank you." Her gratitude was a little more genuine as she reached out and wrapped her hands around the warm mug and brought it to her lips.

"You looked like you needed a break...who were you talking to earlier to make you look like that?" the male asked as he scanned the room pretending as if he hadn't heard the conversation; Ari knew better though, with his inhuman hearing as a ghoul he would have been able to pick up both sides of the conversation even behind the door in the hallway.

"My husband." Ari sighed staring down at the papers in front of her without looking seeing what was written on them.

"He sounds like a dick."

her lips tipped up a bit at the corners and she shrugged. "He's just busy. Seems to be all the time now but you know that's the life of a detective, I guess." she replied taking a sip of the chocolate goodness in her cup.

"Too busy to not go out to dinner before his wife leaves for two months? No, that's not busy, sweetcheeks that's full-on douch mode right there." Dewdrop snorted crossing his arms before seeming to think something over and he outstretched a hand towards her.

"Come on."

Ari frowned looking at his offered hand; slender and gray-skinned with dark-tipped claw-like nails. It didn't frighten her, she'd gotten over her shock of seeing them weeks ago but it was the offer of contact that was unlike Dewdrop to offer her. Still, she would take the offered branch of peace as she reached out to slip her hand in his and rose to her feet.

"Where are we going?" she asked curiously as he led her by the hand into the darkened corridors beyond Copia's office.

"Give you a break." was his simple reply.

He led her dark hallways in the familiar path toward the rehearsal room. He let her in first before slipping in behind her and closing the door a bit behind them before marching her towards the stage where a few stools were still out on the stage front.

"What are we doing here Dew?" she laughed a bit as he sat her down on one of the stools before disappearing to grab something.

He returned with his white guitar and sat down beside her. "Giving you a break." he replied insistently as if that would explain her confusion.

He placed the guitar in his lap and began to tune it with daft skilled fingers; despite his claws, he was still very good at handling the musical instrument. It wasn't as if Ari hadn't watched him or the others do the exact same thing before with their instruments while doing practice but it felt a little different tonight. In a room alone with the most notorious grump of the ghouls, Ari found that she actually didn't feel uneasy as she should have been.

When at last he was done he played a few chords seamlessly and Ari found herself entranced as she watched his fingers work over the neck of the guitar. She only raised her eyes when Dewdrop stopped playing and handed it to her.

"Dew, you know I can't play to save my life!" she protested holding her hands up defensively.

"That's why I gave you the pick, idiot." Dewdrop replied "You still got it?" he added

"Yeh, of course, I do!" she held her wrist out to show the bracelet wrapped around her wrist.

"Well damn." Dewdrop grabbed her arm to bring it closer as he examined the band.

It was made from leather, entwined in a braided fashion but in the center of the bracelet held a guitar pick-shaped metal piece that looked an awful lot like a locket. Ari smiled as she reached over with her free hand and clicked it open carefully to reveal inside was the pick Dew had gifted to her snug inside safe and sound.

"Well, I be." he muttered in what seemed like amazement.

"I didn't want to lose it but didn't want to carry it around with me in my pocket in case I lost it that way or it got lost in the washer machine. I'm terrible at emptying my pockets so instead of making it into a necklace and ruining it I asked Mountain to help me. He made me the leather bracelet to put the pick in so I always had it with me." she explained.

That actually got a little grin from the fire ghoul and Ari couldn't help but smile back at the sight; it was rare to see such a genuine smile coming from him where she was in regard. She gently slipped the pick from its holder and dropped her arm; holding it up at him to show him it was exactly the same he had given her.

"Now...I don't know how the hell to use this thing. It looks easy when you guys do it." she laughed a bit and Dew snorted.

"It's not that hard; just takes practice. C'mere. Let me show you." he rose and shifted side her as she adjusted the guitar into her lap.

She could feel the hellish heat coming off of his body as he bent over her and placed her hands in the proper position. A few strands of his long hair came out of his messy bun and tickled the back of her neck as he showed her how to hold the instrument.

"Just place your fingers here and strum the strings here with the pick while pressing down on the ones up here," he explained softly as he wrapped his fingers around hers to adjust them and pressed down on the metal strings before strumming the guitar; filling the room with the sounds of the chords and actually startling her a bit.

She had been so busy looking at him from the corner of her eye that she wasn't aware of what he was really talking about; he seemed to notice as his lips tipped up into a smirk when he caught her sheepish look when she realized she got caught staring at him.

"Sorry, just..." Ari pressed her lips tightly together and looked down at the guitar as Dewdrop moved back to his seat.

"But what?"

"I suppose it's just...I wasn't expecting this side of you. You always seemed just out of reach. And I guess I don't blame you. Being dumped with a stranger and all it isn't easy to trust people who aren't in your immediate circle like your pack." Ari confessed.

The fire ghoul leaned back in his chair and stared at her with a thoughtful expression. "I get it. If it makes you feel better thinking about it...I wasn't expected you to be this cool of a person. You're easy to get along with; that's obvious. Not a lot of strangers would come into a Satanic church and come face to face with creatures from hell and be so chill about it."

The woman shrugged biting at the side of her cheek. "I'm not a religious person, to be honest. But working here certainly has changed my view on things; whether heaven and hell exist is still something to think about but...I do know there are things out there that aren't human - you guys are living proof of that." she replied wih a small shrug.

"When I first talked to Copia about you guys during our little chats before I took the job I thought the whole Satan and ghoul thing was just a front...like stage lore I suppose, but I don't think I've ever been so glad to be proven wrong." she laughed a bit as she set the guitar down gently.

"Well, we're glad you are here." Dew finally replied after a long silence.

"Me too." Ari smiled to herself before checking her phone. "Shit, I should probably get back to the office and pack up my things. I still have a few things to get done before I call it a night." she rose

"Thank you for this experience Dew." she gave him a warm smile before turning to leave; she paused though when she heard Dewdrop speak up behind her.

"You know, happiness doesn't mean having to sacrifice yourself all the time; especially for someone who doesn't deserve your precious time."

She blinked staring at the door for a long moment as she mulled over his words; he wasn't talking about their time spent together, she knew that even as she turned around to look at him.

"You aren't talking about you are you Dew?" her smile was a little forced as she tried to joke.

But Dewdrop's face was serious as his golden gaze scanned her features and the way her body seemed to be wired tense.

"He doesn't deserve you Ari. You deserve so much better than what he has to offer you, and that's not a lot he can offer you. You're better off without him."

"Are you saying that out of experience?" she raised a brow as she watched him idly fiddle with his guitar.

"I'm just saying." he shrugged but she knew there was more he wanted to say but wouldn't, not yet anyway.

"I know Dewdrop...But I have nowhere else to go." she finally let out a sigh.

"You're an idiot for giving up your life for him woman. And you do have somewhere to go if you left him, you know. You got us know. The ghouls and me, Copia...We wouldn't be mad if you decided to stay here officially." the comment came easily enough but the meaning behind it as she watched him almost shyly fiddle with his guitar avoiding her eyes made her realize this was his way of telling her she was part of their little ragtag group now. That he'd accepted her already.

It warmed her heart a little bit so she couldn't help but smirk playfully and take a step towards him as she tried to seek out his gaze. "Are you telling me you want me to stay Dewdrop? I thought I was just a stranger."

"Idiot. Just...get out, go to bed or whatever," he grumbled stubbornly but even from that door she could see the tinge of a blush darken his features and she laughed under her breath.

"Thank you Dewdrop. For tonight." she told him sincerely before she turned and headed out of the room.

~

Chapter 4