#the nostalgia is strong in me but the 'why the FUCK was I able to read this' is stronger

[ethereal-hollow]

Problematic™ or otherwise Adult™ webcomics that I read at age 10-13 that possibly fucked me up a little and I definitely shouldn't have been reading at that age but I still hold dear my beloveds-detesteds,

[doctorpandorica]

So Fanfiction, Deadpool and Wolverine, and Logan, made have a fucking epiphany about my mental health. PART TWO,

HERE IS A LINK TO THE FIRST HALF!!!

JUST WANT TO FIRST ACKNOWLEDGE (I'll stop all caps soon) THESE MOTHER FUCKING ANGELS!!!!

As well as this talented Mother fucker, Artist Jack Kirby who helped create X-men

with this literally Angel,

After being inspired by the Civil Rights movement. Particularly Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcom X, which absolutely shows. Especially when you watch the 1992 Animated series, pleased do, which I am at the moment.

ssss

So...on to this grumpy bestest boy

He lived through so much pain, snarky little fuckable fuck. However, he never let it make him cruel, he did the right thing, even if it pissed him off. And didn't deserve to die in Logan, nor did Charles especially as he did.

Which really quick, Ian McKellen made a off handed quip about wanting to know why he wasn't in the film. And I demand to know why as well, Magneto was pure sass and spite, he would not go gently into that good night. And even if he did, we deserved to see it, even if it destroyed us. Even though it wouldn't have made sense because, he is able to beat that alleged cure but, not this virus? Which makes me question, if Charles was still capable of those long lucid moments, why not transfer himself into a new body like before? Also most importantly, picture Logan during that dinner scene, addressing them as his two dads. Erik squirming socializing with ...Homo Sapiens, having to content with the faults in his crusade.

Anyway then I saw, Deadpool and Wolverine, please go see it!!!!! The very end with the delightful complication of the original Franchise, wrecked me emotionally and at first I didn't understand. To Understand that beyond the crushing heart ache I associate with nostalgia, as opposed to contentment as it should. And started the long process about a week of asking myself why?

Which resulted in the essay, you hopefully didn't suffer too much through before and I just had to get it all out. Which is why there are so many grammatical errors, never been my strong suite.

Also Marvel Jesus' journey of self worth and Ryan Reynolds seeing that motherfucker as the wonderful man that he is

Seriously going to make a list of all the amazing things he has done

, showing that what never fails in good old fashion story telling ands opposed to money grubbing. That movie

That is how you give the people what they ACTUALLY WANT and more importantly what they ACTUALLY NEED. Imagine what would've happened if Disney let them do what ever he wanted,

Aside from Wolverine never putting his greasy tits away. Seriously hate myself when I get feral for him, because Hugh Jackman has the sweetest face and I hate myself.

Thank you and Goodnight....

I need to eat before I post Some funny ass, at least too me, Deadpool shit I just thought of

REMEBER.....

 IT IS NEVER TOO LATE !!! EVEN IF YOU ARE GOING TO DIE TOMORROW!!! HAPPINESS MAY NOT BE A CHOICE BUT THE PATH TO IT IS!!!

[seokka0o]

𝑩𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒚 | 𝑲𝒊𝒎 𝑱𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒖

Jungsu ♡ Afab!reader

Contain: smut; unprotect sex; breasts/ nipple play; makeout; needy jungsu; multiple orgasms; cumshot ; fingering;

Request? Yes

3.2k

Author: Hope enjoy ♡

this is +18 content and purely fictional, not intended to offend anyone. read with descriptions. Minors do not interact.

When Jungsu arrived it was already early evening. 

The twilight sky made the atmosphere of a Saturday night very comfortable.  You were alone, your roommate had left on Friday to spend the weekend with her boyfriend in another city. 

the feeling was muggy, rain running everywhere made you and jungsu change plans to go out for the night, finding things to do, watching movies and complaining about the life you've been leading since high school;  it was always like that, certain things tended to never change if they always came up with a feeling of nostalgia and that ranged from the soda you drink that has always been the same, to the same cliché movie that made you see the colors of the world. 

the definition of comfort, jungsu was someone important enough to you to call him lime that.

 inside the room depended on the same climate,with the windows closed so as not to splash rain inside.  the blankets piled up on top of the bed, like a kind of divider between the bodies. 

deposited unconsciously, your eyes attentive to the film, and the smell of strong jelly candy; you were inert, your mind empty, the silhouette of jungsu in your peripheral vision in the dimmed light conveys the idea that he felt the same way, however much how restless you were sure it was because of the bed that always seemed too small to offer comfort to his big body;

you still didn't say anything, jungsu was always very communicative with his own ideals, you knew that at the right moment he would speak which made him so restless, also because there wasn't much to do since every time you looked up at him , he deviated somewhat uncomfortable with the closeness you were; how you always seemed to be, close, but that for some reason now seemed to sound so different to him. 

Time passed in the blink of an eye. maybe you had dozed off without realizing it in the middle of the process because you woke up suddenly with the television turning off, the movie was over, you didn't even notice. 

Jungsu was adjusting to the bed when he noticed that you looked a little disoriented, laughing conveniently.

 "You were sleeping soundly, I didn't want to disturb you" said Jungsu getting rid of those packages, throwing them onto the desk that you have beside your bed.

  You shook your head, removing that blanket that was between the bodies, giving a significant space for jungsu to snuggle

"I think I got too absorbed, sleep was stronger than me" the air-filled laughter sounded from both lips after returning to that silence "are you ok jungsu?"

 You asked abruptly, making Jungsu shiver, looking at you through the half light your lamp provides.

 "Yes…why the question out of nowhere?"  He acted like a criminal, avoiding airing his filth, feeling even a little overwhelmed by how well you seemed to know him.

 "You're a little weird, I thought something had happened" you shrugged, stretching lazily on the bed, looking a little unconcerned despite the weight your friend was carrying the conversation "we're friends, already a long time, you know you can trust me"

  He trembled a little bewildered before lying down beside you, with a sigh that he had been keeping for some time, at that moment he ended up falling into reality, there were no dangers, there were no secrets and much less dissimulation, jungsu was never able to lie to you and that wouldn't change at all.

 "I don't know, it's been a long time since my last relationship, I'm thinking too much about the need I'm feeling lately" Jungsu felt the twinge of shame hit him like a whip, almost without any strength in his speech, a little embarrassed

 "Need? So you want to fuck me?"  Your neutrality was genuine, despite always making a point of pointing out how much your friend seemed to have grown in recent years, becoming bulky, big enough to barely pass through your room, even though it was something that seemed to live in your mind 24/7 , you struggled to keep yourself in your place, but was inevitable feel this way.

"What?"  Jungsu raised his head from the pillow to look at you again, carefully analyzing your face in search of any tone of sarcasm in order to make fun of him

 "I said. We've been friends for a long time" you started, suggestive, but without going on "I can give you a good fuck, I know you well, we're close enough"

Silence ensued.  Not a single noise passed through the room for what seemed like an eternity, the dark room topped, as if there was something about to happen, trapped in Jungsu's unconscious.  He was looking at you when you finished talking. confused, you can see his cheeks starting to blush, telling you even if silently, what the problem really was.  Jungsu wasn't the most subtle, he's so desperate for sex that he couldn't even avoid looking at you without feeling extremely attracted; tempted to move your very faithful friendship, demoralize all that little prank of sleeping together every Saturday night to just watch a movie in the same bed because they are so close.  You just seemed to wait for the opportunity, just like Jungsu.

"Y/n I…" jungsu wanted to justify himself, more than anything, but there weren't any decent words to describe the despair that ran through jungsu's body, making his hands tingle, his body in fever desperate for the correct answer, but at the same time at the same time wanting not to say nothing , because if you seem so naturalized why should he be so desperate in search of something that clearly had no explanation.

 It was like a beam of light.  You didn't even say anything, you didn't want to, you took your fingers so subtly to Jungsu's face, shutting him up in moments, in an almost heroic act You kissed him, making the first sound through the room, a noisy seal, by urgency.

 You could feel Jungsu's heavy breathing close to your face, his heart racing, surprised by your courage and feeling motivated.

Jungsu cursed and advanced.  Taking your lips desperately to the kiss, opening your mouth to pull your lips against his and letting go of any kindness;

You felt the twinge in the pit of your stomach, kissing your friend like it was no big deal, treating him like someone you could occasionally exchange some contact with sounds very out of touch.

Despite the comforting way in which jungsu simply silences his own murmurs, kissing , contouring his lips to your, bringing you closer and closer to touch your body, using all the air in God's lungs to be able to give you five more minutes at that.

 His lips were soft, well-adorned, experienced, jungsu hardly missed a beat, bringing you closer and closer to kiss him, mouth open, smacking and snarling, limpid, fluid.  You thought for a moment, when was the last time you kissed someone so hard; turning your head and moving gently, feeling a longing you didn't know you had to finally have you kissing him. 

He spilled without pain, pausing for a mere second to look at you with those sly eyes adorned; jungsu was truly changed.  He got up, propping himself up on his elbows and hovered above you, but without being fully over your body, jungsu took your swollen lips again, sliding his tongue over the subtle lips, flaming your mouth after having the right permission. 

You moaned low when you felt the touch of the tongues and trembled below jungsu, turning your tongue in his, rubbing, promiscuously, feeling the salivas mix, dirty and deep, jungsu despite the heavy breathing remained passive, sucking your tongue for his own pleasure and return with open-mouthed kisses, biting your  lower lip and tugging as you reddens it as a sign. 

Jungsu took a deep breath, lowered his mouth to your neck, scraping the fleshy area of ​​your skin, tickling, remembering how good that was.  You smiled and lifted your jaw when you felt the tip of his tongue pass along the base of your neck, a shiver ran down your spine and you sighed heavily, so hard that you thought that could be your last breath of all life.

Jungsu moved on top of you, now placing himself between your legs.  It would be a lie if you said you were surprised to feel the already hard member covered by casual clothes pressed against you. 

The heat rose fast, you never really thought of it that way, but the feeling of Jungsu's huge cock touching you made you shiver, remembering what you were dealing with. the soft moan, you had to bite your bottom lip to not let out too much.

Jungsu bit your neck in the process, accompanying with the moan just as sly.  He kept the strength in his arm, attacking in every direction of your region, scraping with the rush, licking and keeping openmouthed kisses all over your neck, forcing his own hip against yours, feeling his leg give way with pain because of the dick so neglected, desperate after so long without a single masturbation.

 You sighed with the touch, raised your hands to be able to touch the jungsu's blond strands, leaving a delicate caress to your friend's leather, encouraging him to continue what he were doing, even missing the contact of his lips, making your own lip tingle with longing for his. 

Jungsu leans on one arm and rests his index finger on the collar of your pajamas, pulling down, loosening the buttons one up to the chest area.  He didn't take time for anything, his hand invaded the slit without thinking and grabbed your breast, squeezing between large and icy fingers, you moaned with the touch of the thumb rubbing against your nipple.

Jungsu started to go down now without urgency, tracing the path with saliva, kisses still with his mouth open, now taking his other hand inside he found the other breast, which he held between his fingers and ran the tip of his tongue through the rigid region of the nipple, sucking, making it wet. 

You felt the twinge reach your center, your eyes closed, concentrating on the feeling of Jungsu playing with your body.  He dedicates himself to sucking, biting almost the entire breast right after, moaning with the sensation, the delicacy that was to be your breasts enveloped by his mouth. 

The other hand did the job of leaving the other breast well stimulated, squeezing it between agile fingers. Jungsu deliberated a certain effort in that region, too excited to say a word, grunting and moaning to the sound of your noises, with your body soft, hot.  You had already lost your mind, your intimacy dripping sensitive, you despaired every time you had the feeling of jungsu's hardened cock touching your hips with subtlety.

 "Jungsu baby, please" you pleaded with heavy breathing, holding the bigger one by the shoulder, insinuating that he should get rid of that accumulated boner as soon as possible. 

He murmured in response and just continued what he was doing, sucking on your delicate breast, not intending to heed your orders for the time being. 

You mumbled, squirmed, desperate, so little patient for jungsu's banter, he acted like he had all the time in the world and really, it wasn't like he was going anywhere, the night was just beginning to consume and you were already on the verge of an outbreak. 

Merciful jungsu let go of your breast, feeling the lack immediately, entering his hand into your pajama pants, with his entire hand consuming all the space of your pussy without much effort, he explored the region well, forcing some fingers into your entrance; you shuddered , as if an icy current of air passed through your body, your pajamas all out of reach, half open.  You lifted your hips at his stimulation, moaning softly with your eyes still closed.

"Look at me , please" jungsu pleaded, amazed at the sight of you, imagining that nowhere in the world would he ever find the perfect place to be, which at that moment was between your legs.

The index finger rose like a feather, stroking your vulva superficially. you froze, grabbing the blankets, jungsu smiled when you finally had your eyes open in his direction, with that he slid the digit around your clit and began to circle, moving everything inside you.

Your legs trembled involuntarily, almost closing up. Jungsu smiled again and began to maintain the frequency, pressed his thumb against the button and moved his face down towards your lips again, devouring them. You gasped desperately and laid your hands on his face, resting them there, Jungsu sucked your lip and invaded with his tongue, now as an infiltrator, he didn't ask for permission and attacked you, his fingers speeding up with each take and you moaned more and more desperately against his mouth.

Jungsu wanted to feel you as soon as possible, to make you burn in flames, to put an end to his own appetite. The first finger was the middle one, Jungsu forced the tip, when he felt swallowed he entered you completely, moving, looking for the spongy flesh, but without success to find it, soon after was the index finger, forming already perfect scissors that opened and closed inside you.

You gasp against his mouth, biting his lip to relieve the tension, your hands freely began to unbutton his pajamas that you always wore matching, exposing Jungsu's torso, which you could explore with your fingers, feeling each crease, each rise, the prominent chest, Jungsu shuddered with the touch of your hands, but stood firm, fucking you with his fingers at that time without any mercy.

"Hmm...j-jungsu...I'm going" you were being smothered by mouth, now without any chance to finish the sentence your body burned, shaking from the hip down you desperately reached for jungsu's hand which controlled the pace, you teased him before you could say you wanted him inside first of all. It didn't seem fair, and it definitely wasn't, he played with your body as he saw fit, leaving you without many options, but with a thirst that seemed never ending "fuck".

 You said after parting your lips, panting, watching Jungsu withdraw his hand from inside your pajamas, licking the sticky liquid like it was the tastiest of banquets. You assumed, if you had the strength you would have groaned at the sight of him with his bare torso tasting you this good, but you settled for laughing and laying your head on the pillow.

It was only a matter of time, you felt his treacherous hands pull down your clothes, undressing you in seconds. You finish unbuttoning your top and completely rid yourself of any clothing on your body.

"God, you're so hot" he said and you laughed, propping yourself up on your elbows and saying nothing, it seemed too inviting, at that point nothing else was in your way, with that jungsu removed his own clothes, giving you the glimpse of what would be a perfect man. Jungsu is big, and besides being tall he was well filled out and this made him more attractive, with or without clothes, he was beautiful.

Jungsu held the neglected cock, groaning almost desperately, he jerked before rubbing the cock against your wetness, losing his senses for a while.

You moaned again, the sensitive intimacy beginning to contract, begging to have him inside at any cost. Jungsu blinked, demonstrating the tic that came when he pushed the tip against your entrance. The moans echoing painfully from both lips, you fell back onto the soft bed, feeling graced by the opportunity, you could feel jungsu snapping you in half trying to fit, fit inside you without any warning, you bit your own lip and whimpered, the big cock making relief in your lower abdomen and soon began to move.

The hands of jungsu again rested on your breasts, kneading them between his fingers as comfort you sought, determining he begins to fuck you, walking unmercifully, slamming into a suitable rhythm on your hips, the sound echoing through the muffled room.

"Yes baby like that" you twisting your spine detaching yourself from the mattress, squirming, already completely sensitive, you moaned like there was no tomorrow.

"You like that huh?" Despite the loaded speech jungsu was smooth, like silk he was fucking you; driving moans adorned your plump lips as he watched his cock mark your belly every time he slid inside, your legs wide open for him and big hands squeezing your breasts like anti-stress toys "I could break you in two"

It sounded like a plea for a moment, you looked so small compared to him that it was inevitable not to voice this idea out loud

"Hmmm...destroy me then, I'm ready" you said, jungs moaned at the speech, he finally looks at you, watching you destroyed, losing control without even realizing it, jungsu sped up, slamming the tip against the spongy flesh that started to swell with each nudge, you countered and screamed for your friend, maddened.

Jungsu was struggling as he began to feel the first waves. You were incommunicado, losing your breath, your strength; he led, coming out inside you , ripping a painful moan from your lips and without saying anything he turned you over on the bed, putting you on all fours for him. 

  Jungsu held your hips and lifted you up, and it took you a while to adjust, bringing the pillow to support yourself, then he entered again, using pink the strength he had, you in a promiscuous sequence, singing each other's names, Jungsu felt dizzy as well as you, Flooded in the vastness, you exchanged a few good swears and compliments as jungsu started pounding, his hand came down against your ass and held it, your head spun a thousand more times and you couldn't contain it, teasing, shaking, screaming, begging him to give you more than you could really handle.

Jungsu came soon after, pounding at an overwhelming speed and then out of nowhere removed his cock from inside you, jerking the limit, his chest burning breathless, red and sweaty, cumming all over your ass, marking your flesh with his hot liquid, squealing, moaning and losing yourself in delirium.

  Falling on the bed it took you about ten minutes before you recognized each other, falling into laughter for a mere second, feeling ignorant for taking yourselves to the desire of the flesh, of exacerbated desperation.

"Are you okay?" Jungsu was the first to speak, a little bewildered 

"It was the best fuck of my life, obviously I'm fine" you complete by climbing up the blanket to cover your own body "if you were after sex you should have said so before"

"How was I to imagine that you were after that kind of partner too, y/n, I was caught off guard" you both laughed without any concern, you felt you had to accept your fate, clearly taking each other to the bathroom, where you could clean yourself and as fate would have it, have sex again.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

If y'all don't stop tagging me in "list your favorite ________" challenges, I swear.....(kidding)

You know I'm indecisive and that the second I'm asked questions like this everything I have ever known or loved just falls right out of my head :'(

ANYWAY. I was tagged by @colourme-feral to name 9 favorite TV series. Nine? Not ten? Alright, whatever. Now presenting, in no particular order

wen-kexing-apologist's Top Nine Favorite TV Series

I think, much like last time where I listed my ten favorite characters AND THEN LEFT OUT PIKE MOTHERFUCKING DEXTER LIKE A GODDAMN NOOB I can't be certain I am forgetting one that I cherish greatly.

Avatar: The Last Airbender

I'm putting this first because A:TLA was a show I watched live in my youth and I remember running the hating Zuko to loving Zuko gauntlet in real time.

But seriously, you can't give me the single greatest redemption arc written in human history and not expect me to cradle this show close to my chest for the rest of my life.

There are so many shows we grow up with that we remember fondly and that in the grand scheme of things aren't that good, protected by young minds and nostalgia AND THIS ISN'T ONE OF THEM.

Seriously my poor mother has had to listen to hours worth of rambling about the incredibly strong adult themes, three dimensional characters, and conversations around war and the portrayal of no one society as inherently evil from both of her children.

This is my boy and I will love him until the end of time, I'm sorry that I hated you when we first met. In my defense the narrative compelled me to do so.

Sense8

Queer, sex positive, beautifully crafted, orgies as a symbol of human connection, the way the world is so small and that people from all over the world have skills that are valuable, that save lives, that are needed and necessary. Humanity and complexity given to people involved in the drug trade, humanity and complexity given to drug users, humanity and complexity given to gang members, humanity and complexity given to prisoners. Love, loss, tragedy, trauma, trans joy, throuple, couple and whatever the fuck Daniella is doing, one really good weed brownie curing transphobia.

The ending wasn't perfect but that isn't the Wachowski Sister's fault, it was Netflix's fault.

I Told Sunset About You/I Promised You The Moon

This show, especially I Told Sunset About You, may be the single most emotional a show has ever made me. I think I cried four times per episode for ITSAY, the only time I didn't cry four times was Episode 3, where foolishly I made it through 98% of the episode went "this edible ain't shit I don't know why everyone is so emo about Ep 3, it's been the most mild so far" AND THEN FUCKING BAM

Teh with the steel fucking chair!

When I tell you I spent hours, numb, staring up at the ceiling?? It's not an exaggeration.

When I tell you I thought about this scene for more than three and immediately burst into tears??? It's not an exaggeration.

This show altered my brain chemistry, this show altered my DNA, this show was so fucking good and ruined me so thoroughly that I wasn't even able to make my brain come up with things to analyze.

in this show, WHERE THERE IS SO MUCH THERE TO ANALYZE. I am making a friend watch it right now so I'm hoping I will have more to contemplate and talk about as I rewatch it now that the emotional impact has softened.

Moonlight Chicken

Look no further than my Gay Meta Masterpost pinned to my page to understand why I love this show so much. It is gorgeous, it handles the subject of disability well, it's the show that got me to start posting meta and as a result it is the show that got me all the friends I have on tumblr now.

This show is perfect, the acting is spectacular, the inherent queerness that runs through the narrative, THE LIGHTING. Aof knocked it out of the motherfucking park with this one.

The Eclipse

Folks let me tell you what happens when you go from Not Me to The Eclipse...

you fall desperately in love with First Kanaphan Puitrakul and his masterful acting ability. I love this show so much. P'Golf had things to say and she was not afraid to say it. The queer characters got to be complex and messy and wrong sometimes, none of the main characters were morally superior, they all contributed to maintaining the system, they all helped harm other queer people. This show was made with pocket change and a dream and it gave me two of my favorite kisses in BL, one of my favorite stories in BL, and my sweet summer child

my beloved Baby War Criminal who is my favorite character ever in BL. Look at him. He is under so much pressure. GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW. And I love Thua too.

Our Flag Means Death

Setting aside the problematic fans, I watched this show eleven times. It was one of the only shows I'd seen where every couple was queer, I love how gradually the writing team was able to move this show from comedy to something more serious, I love the way Stede returned home only to find that he had been forever changed, I love the way Blackbeard was on his way to grieving and healing with healthy coping mechanisms, and the commentary the show gave on how exposure to toxic masculinity and internalized/externalized homophobia (in the form of Izzy) can alter that course. I love that traditional roles and expectations are subverted in this show. That Pete and Lucius are in love, that Olu gets thrown around by Jim, that the show allows for an older queer person to both realize his sexuality and experience his first queer love.

And also

it introduced me to one of the first nonbinary characters I had seen on screen. Jim Jimenez you can murder me whenever you wish, it would be my absolute honor.

What We Do in The Shadows

For one, it's hilarious

For two, Jackie Daytona exists.

For three

It gave me Guillermo de la Cruz, the sexiest motherfucker alive.

The Owl House

Queer, neurodivergent representation????? In my TV show??????? A main plot point being around the all consuming nature of white supremacy and religious zeal. Hunter? Dear sweet, awkward, traumatized Hunter? RAINE MOTHERFUCKING WHISPERS?!

Listen, I'm a simple bitch, okay? You put an enby in my television and I will be forced to stan.

I mean look at them!

Word of Honor

*points to username*

If I didn't put WoH on here I would have to give up rights to my username.

This is the show that started me on the BL spiral and having read the novel, I have to say that I have never seen a show change a character and expand upon a story as well as Word of Honor has.

The sex appeal, the swagger, and the lowkey unsettling obsession The Scorpion King has in the TV show compared to the book?

Expert execution of fundamentally and fully changing source text. The costumes are gorgeous and the way I was driven to the brink of insanity by how gay this show was despite censorship is truly unmatched. I know censorship can dampen a queer story experience, but damned if i didn't go feral and say "I can't believe they got away with that" at every given opportunity.

And

It gave me my beloved Adult War Criminal, Wen Kexing, who as we all know, has never done anything wrong in his life, ever.

___

Bonus Round:

aka shows that I haven't or that haven't finished yet so I am contractually obligated not to put them on a list.

180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us

I have two episodes left, it is absolutely killer, and if it continues to be as strong as it is this will be a 10/10 show for me and join the ranks of my favorites. This show is driving me mad with both hands and barriers and I need everyone to know that.

La Pluie

There are three episodes left for this to go wrong which is the only reason why I haven't put it on the list. But similarly to 180 Degrees, if it continues the way it is going now this will be a 10/10 show for me and join the ranks of my favorites. I LOVE what they are doing to subvert the soulmate trope. It is a masterpiece so far and I need more people to be watching this.

Tagging:

@solitaryandwandering, @ranchthoughts, @wanderlust-in-my-soul, @so-much-yet-to-learn, and @neuroticbookworm

Your choice whether to participate or not and apologies if you have already been tagged.

[littlesislovesyou]

Well I did even though it ate up my sleeping hours in the early morning. I wasn't gonna fall asleep easily anyway so it's fine and I got everything done. Now I'm just on my way home now from getting food for the weekend. And it's okay I appreciate you understanding and listening to my rant >:( I'll be okay but I def need to fix my sleep schedule lol

Oh trust me hun I'm always hydrated...but you can always find out in a certain way yk? (Sorry LMAOOOO) I'm still a little tired and unhinged. My day was okay though ty. After dinner I was thinking about indulging in some nostalgia gaming with you in my mind~ While taking breaks to respond to you...maybe you can keep me company though? By cockwarming me or giving me loud sloppy head as if trying to let everyone know that I have a needy slut in between my legs and giving you headpats and fucking your pretty face and tight throat in frustration when I die in an annoying way before giving you a facial~ And taking an eventual break to fuck your brains out yk? 🤭🔪

Yeah...You're right. It's a part of being human but it doesn't mean I have to like it 😭 sometimes I think of what I would be without any humanity at all and I think...if I can't be like this. Caring but still brutal at request. Strict but still kind and loving. Then I'd want to keep myself the way I am despite all the shit I have to go through. I can't fully mend the wounds but I can still ease the pain and frustration while finding parts of myself I still like and others do as well. I think that's enough but ty for your reassurance I really appreciate it 🖤

Well I would like to hold you but I also love that I have such a strong hold over you and your needy cunt~ It's so cute and it's fun to tease you and trust me you make it as fun as it can get...aside from me eventually finding and kidnapping you after stalking you and staying at a hotel nearby your location and using you to my heart's content...🖤🤫

I'm happy you find it endearing! Ahhh but making your heart and body both excited, afraid and keyboard smash is the goal and I love making you and your needy little pussy cry...it just makes me throb so much for you and it makes it ten times easier to force myself inside of you and breed you nonstop all night 😌💗

Aww that's completely understandable! I hope you were able from work wiping you out :c and I understand. I'll keep that in mind and communicate if I will or will not due to circumstances of having to focus on myself for a day or two. I hope you take care of yourself as well! <3333 I'll start off slow and groggy, running my hands all over your irresistible, hot body pushed up against my cock as it hardens and throbs against you and groping your tits and kissing your skin and hissing in delight before repositioning myself to be balls deep inside of you and the moment I force myself inside of your tight, unconscious holes...my eyes and body would never be more awake and I might end up fucking you awake and then making you cum all over me as I creampie and eagerly fuck you back into unconsciousness...unable to get enough at how good and tight you feel unconscious and unable to resist me...not that you want to anyway with how wet you become when you realize it's me and what I'm doing~ 😈

And yes that's always the hope that tomorrow will be better and I hope the same for you too sweet girl... <333

That's true...why be humble when we can be greedy and do both...ah well. I was gonna call you my cute little kiddo but idk something in my brain wasn't fully vibing with the term at the time of writing and was worried about it being too much lol but also it's not like I'm too much older than you. Even though I definitely still am. Maybe it's just something to get used to.

But yeah sorry about that <3

Hehe if that was the case you'd wake up every morning soaking your panties or your sheets then if those were your dreams I'm sure...🥴 Sweet just like you <333

That's good to hear and awww so sweet~ I missed you too sweetheart~ My darling, stunning, gorgeous and 'innocent' mutual... 💕

My lil sis is the sweetest angel in the whole wide world 😇🥰

Hihihi<333 I missed you my lovely depraved mutual💕💕💕

I hope you had a great day, that honestly sounds like such a great plan, just be sure you’re still thinking dirty thoughts of me~ heh💕 I’m kidding but, hopefully you get some time to yourself tonight and get some good rest when you can🥺

Enjoy your food!<333

Ahh how else would I find out you’re hydrated hm?💗😌 I would really like to be sure you know?~

Also I would absolutely be your slutty little deskpet<3 just there for you whenever you need to let out frustrations from your game, ahh I would love to just do both<3 cockwarming you sounds fun, and cozy<33 I know I would be so wet for you, I bet you’d fuck up into me when you’d get frustrated<3

But also I just wanna be between your legs, my head resting on your thigh, you stroking my head until you need to have your cock in my mouth, maybe you could keep it there?;’) just let me do the work and then when you need to get rough you can just fuck into my mouth💗💗💗 ahhh I would just love to be so good for you<3

Oh goddddd hhhh are you trying to get me to touch myself right now 🥺💗 I just might honestly<3 everything you write to me is just so hot hhhh

And ahhh you can call me whatever you want to! Don’t apologize<3 ☺️ heh

🥺💗 you have no idea just how much I would let you do to me<3

[walder-138]

Gotta try this 🕯️

DAMN DAWG I JUST POSTED THAT 😭 I ALWAYS LOVE HEARING FROM YOU BUT HOW DO YOU LIKE MY POSTS SO FAST???

What they think about Helina:

Oz: “Now, why in the hell would the government let a fucking Red in on CIA operations? Especially one who previously worked with the biggest threat to the US since goddamn Smallpox. Don’t know this Adler guy, but it seems like he lacks common sense.” (My brother in Christ would be so confused why they let her on missions 💀) (If the CIA called him back to service and they worked together, Oz wouldn’t trust her as far as he could throw her. Too much wartime “nostalgia” with Soviets.) Overall: 3/10

Annika: “The only person I can trust. We’re cut from the same cloth. She’s like a sister to me, and I’d do whatever I can to keep her safe, as I know she’d do the same for me.” 100/10

Abbey: “I don’t understand how a human being could put someone through what she had to experience. She’s strong for being able to overcome the shit they put her through; I know it’s not easy.” (Abbey wouldn’t judge Helina for her past, and would relate to her past experiences with both Perseus and Adler, albeit in different ways.) 6.5/10

How they’d think about Eileen:

Oz: “She’s got a good head on her shoulders. Thank God she doesn’t work at the VA, she could read anyone like a open book. Used to think psychology is a load of horse manure, y’know, hippie-dippie shit till she came around.” (Oz thought psychology was just talking about your feelings and shit like a wimp before she came around. He would really respect her.) 6/10

Annika: “Thank you for helping shitty comb-over man rewrite my brain! Really appreciate it! 👍” -5/10, do I really need to explain?

Abbey: “I want to get close to and trust her, but I’m nervous about every interaction with her being recorded and used against me. She seems like a good one, but it’s just surface deep. She’s on a mission, and I’m not letting her make me lose my job.” (She’d be very mistrusting of Eileen because of her past experiences with psychiatrists. Abbey would understand she’s one of the good ones, but still be paranoid around her. I do think it’s possible for Abbey to push aside her phobia and open up after a while.) 5/10

I hope this is coherent lmao. Thank you again for the ask pookie!

[inconsistentwriting]

Painkiller

Pairing: Leon x GN Reader

It wasn’t your first sleepless night. At this point you might wait for the sun to rise on you. It’s better than tossing and turning around in bed. 04:57. The clock marked the time and you realized it, it was the third time this week. You had to depart on a mission tomorrow, Spain awaited you and your partner. Who might be the unlucky bastard that got himself tied to you? You tried asking around before, but no one seemed interested in telling you. The poor soul seemed like a ghost story among the other agents, much like yourself. Yet, you wouldn’t wish anyone the pain of dealing with a demanding mission next to someone like you.

-”No one deserves to be stuck with an asshole like me. Though thinking about it, if he was as feared as he appeared, maybe he is just as bad as me.”

You talked into nothing, as if expecting an answer. The HQ was silent. Mostly everyone was asleep. You felt jealous. Insomnia wasn’t new for you, you have dealt with it all your life. Yet, before the outbreak, six years ago, you had a better way of coping. You look back into those days with a sense of nostalgia. You look back to your days as a singer. The bar you worked at was always so full of people. They used to cheer your name and love your performances. You knew some of the regulars by name and even became friends with a couple of them. Looking back you realize, most of them are dead, aren’t they? You’ll never forget, nor forgive what happened in the last days of September.

-”What am I even doing? Playing babysitter to the president’s daughter? What kind of idiot am I? I didn’t sign up to be a playmate, I signed up to make the people responsible for what happened in Raccoon City pay. Such a good fucking agent I am.”

You thought of getting a drink, but alcohol never made you feel better. Well, if insomnia was going to act as a bitch, you might as well make yourself some coffee. After all, a long day awaited you. You picked up your headphones. You decided to try using some music, it used to soothe you back then. Maybe old habits die hard. You didn’t know what else to try. As you walked into the kitchen of the base you discovered somebody already had beat you with the coffee machine. You looked at the pot and decided to serve yourself some of the drink. As you were filling your mug you heard a deep voice calling from behind you. 

-”That was my coffee, gorgeous.”

Great. The only other person awake and you had to run into him. You turned around, ready to apologize but you got cut short at the sight of the man resting on the doorframe.

-”Leon? Is that you?”

-”In the flesh. Early morning for you, partner?”

-”Partner? Oh god, don’t tell me you are the person I got paired up to go to Spain with.”

-”Sharp as ever. It’s been a really long time, hasn’t it?”

-”Hell yeah it was. Last time I saw you was like, six months ago, at that one party.”

-”Right. You almost gave a performance that night, right?”

-”That was the alcohol speaking, I told you I don’t sing no more.”

-”A shame I never got to see you on stage. I wish I had moved into the city a couple of days before it all blew to hell.”

-”I know.”

Talking with Leon was easy, and at the same time, it was extremely difficult. You two had been friends since you met, during the outbreak. Leon and you kept each other alive and built a strong bond. Even so, he was very against the idea of you joining the life of a special agent. Something about it being too dangerous, like you didn’t survive Raccoon City just like he did. After all the training he subsided a little. It wasn’t that surprising since you were the only person in your camp able to beat Major Krauser in hand-to-hand combat. Still, the overprotective bone in his body hadn’t quite left him.

-”Why are you awake? And before you say anything, I just arrived at the base, that’s why I am not sleeping.”

-”Just… Insomnia is being an ass again. And I don’t have the healthy mechanisms I used to have. It’s been a pretty fucked up week. I just hope Spain has a different thing planned for me.”

 -"I understand. Sleep is a privilege I can't always afford either. Are you going to be okay though? I don't doubt your capability but if insomnia is kicking your ass you should take some vacations."

-"People like us don't get vacations, Leon. Besides, I'm okay. I'll probably get some rest on the plane."

-"Whatever you say. But if you start acting all zombie like I'm sending you back home."

-"If I started acting all zombie like you'd have to shoot me. After what happened back then I wouldn't risk it."

-"Don't even joke about that. I'm sure if you became a zombie you would be one of those really hard to kill assholes."

-"So… Just myself but the difference is I'm infected?"

-"Haha, pretty much."

The air felt lighter. His laugh did such a good job at keeping you grounded. What was it about him that brought only the good memories, as if you didn't meet each other during the most traumatic experience ever. You hated it, but you loved it so much. 

-”You always have the weirdest of ways to make me feel better, you know that? I can be having a horrible sleepless night and then you just come in and tell me what type of zombie I’d be and suddenly I don’t feel that bad anymore. Talk about a mystery painkiller.”

-”Pretty sure you are the only person in the base that feels that way.”

-”Better. I wouldn’t want other people taking up the time of my painkiller.”

-”Didn’t peg you for the jealous type.”

-”I’m not. I just haven’t seen you in around half a year. It’s been some hard nights without you to bother.”

-”Alright partner, I’ll be sure to not disappear for this long anymore.”

-”Please do. Ibuprofen just doesn’t feel the same.

We kept talking for the rest of our time before taking our plane. Though, it didn’t feel like we were talking about my insomnia anymore.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 303

Beat the Devil

“Beat the Devil”

Plot Description: with some involuntary help from Lucifer, Rowena is finally able to open a rift to apocalypse world. But the journey there has dire consequences

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: the only thing that died was the rift with….not enough or not strong enough archangel grace from Gabriel

That dream sequence with Mary and Jack back in the bunker was cruel though. So I guess Sam’s happiness also died a little when he woke up

I get Sam’s reluctance to go try to get some of Lucifer’s grace but with Gabriel’s failing, what choice do you have? Michael and Raphael are dead over here

Gabriel and Rowena are an underrated scene sharing team. Omg they’re checking each other out. Honestly if two characters were going to hook up while the boys decide what to do about the fate of existence, it would be these two

Why is Rowena’s makeup always so gorgeous? The dark green eyeliner is stunning on her, bless the director for insisting on a close up of her eyes

It was difficult to get this with Meg jumping all over the place but LOOKS

Castiel averting his gaze after they caught Rowena and Gabriel fooling around 💀 relatable

Lmaooooo Lucifer having to meet up with two people he reeeeeeeeally thought he killed

I guess when there’s only one way you truly die, and the person who’s gonna do it is going to apocalypse world, it’s cool to stay behind with Lucifer

How is Cas some magical apocalypse world gps?

Fuck you, Lucifer. Bringing up what you put her through before breaking out of her magic handcuffs

Ohhhhhh, girly…..you just endangered the whole mission. Ohhhhh, babe, have you developed a conscience? Or at least a fondness for the boys?? You were about to leave…you could have left, but you’re staying to help them

Is it bad that I’m not fazed by this tunnel full of starved vampires?? Honestly, that one reminded me more of gollum than anything…there seems to be one following the group. Are they actually gonna get their own gollum??

I think if they’d gone through something like this earlier in the series before I got desensitized to a lot of this, it would have made me on edge

YO! I was not expecting to watch Sam get bitten and blood gush out of his neck

Cas telling Dean they don’t have time and can’t save Sam 😭😭😭

The change in Dean’s demeanor toward this poor girl…because it’s partially his fault they got caught up in the vampire mess

Noooooo, I mean, yessssss, they found Mary, but Sam’s absence is immediately noticeable.

I hate when Dean cries but at least Jensen is a pretty crier

Nooooooooooo…Lucifer saved Sam…and is the only thing holding a whole nest of vampires from tearing into Sam.

God. The horrible parallel of Lucifer saying he lifted Sam from the darkness and brought him into the light to Cas’s “I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition” all the way back in season four

Its really not a hard decision though: go with Lucifer to where you were already planning on going OR get eaten by vampires…again

Jack was glad to see Sam 💖 but then Lucifer walks in seconds later

(I’ll do doctor who tomorrow)

[lyraeon]

.

every time I see someone tag something with "wtf was (show/book/etc)?" in a clearly "this post, which is very accurate to the show, does not line up with what I thought it was, (and I don't know how I feel about that)" way, I want to scream - not at them, just scream - that it's something they clearly need to experience then.

if you're intrigued enough to be like yo this doesn't line up?! then there's a good chance you'll be even more intrigued by everything else there.

There is so much good media from the last few decades that, while often rather dated, are still great experiences in their own ways.

Yes, it could just be nostalgia talking, but it includes things I only watched for the first time as an adult despite it being around when I was younger. There are so many series and movies and books and comics and podcasts and channels out there that-

look, they have actual strong female characters, okay?

That's the part I'm mad about. That actually genuinely multi-faceted women are so hard to find in anything made in the last decade. The few we got, got ripped to shreds 50x harder than any similarly characterized male character would have.

Good female characters started with Ripley and ended when the MCU started. that's what I earnestly believe. especially since half this fucking website couldn't handle Steven Universe's ladies having *gasp* flaws!

I'm just so pissed because it's so fucking two-faced how everyone begs for more good female characters (and nonbinary characters and gay characters and-) but then ignores or tears apart the ones that are there. And I don't mean the cookie cutter cold and sarcastic tough girls who are two dimensional compared to the rest of the cast, I mean ones where the girls are the main characters - heck, even the whole cast, points vigorously at MLP - with full personalities. I'm also talking streamers, youtubers, (web)comic artists, crafters, so on. Real people! There's bound to be someone out there!

you have to be the change you want to see. I know it's fucking rich of me since three of my four favorite things to watch right now are young white guys who were privileged enough to be able to go full time on YouTube without ever really needing another Real Job before that, but damn if I'm not trying to find more to watch (been binging Laura Kampf's tiny house series this week for example, and boy it's been a lot of fun).

in conclusion, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Also if you can tell me why the Italian CCS theme song went that hard I'd love to know.

[rottenbrainstuff]

Hooray everyone! Get your blacklists ready, because I am about to subject you to a drunken liveblog playthrough of the otome game:

In Your Arms Tonight (by Voltage)

What the hell is an otome game?

Otome games are japanese games made for a female audience where the main goal is to develop a romantic relationship. They generally follow an"interactive visual novel" format, where mostly you're just reading a story, then occasionally making a dialogue choice. I feel it's a bit generous to call it a "game", which implies an element of "gameplay" - most of these don't even qualify as a "choose your own adventure", because typically there are usually no large plot branches, and instead you are earning points based on your dialogue choices that will determine if you get a bad or a good ending.

These games are formulaic as hell, silly, and also reveal interesting (troubling) things about Japanese culture, for example, professionally-mandated alcoholism! The main characters are silly, timid, and afraid of sex! The plots make little sense! The graphics range from "cheap" to "cheapest"! The games are ridiculously expensive considering what little amount of content and gameplay you get!

Why the hell am I playing this?

If all that's true, why bother wasting my time and money? Look I don't know, I can't really explain it. I suppose it's like someone who's found a taste for trashy drug store romance novels.

And I also have a little fond nostalgia. This was the very very first otome game I ever played. I have absolutely no memory whatsoever of how I even found it in the first place. This particular game is about a woman with a shitty, cheating husband, and how she finds a new relationship and gets out of that marriage. At the time, I was deeply, deeply unhappy and lonely with an abusive husband. The main character also works for an interior design firm, and at the time I was fresh from college and still had ideas I might be able to have a career doing professional commercial design, so the MC's profession and scenarios where she's going to meet with clients was really familiar. The game is definitely silly, but I don't know. Somehow it just gave me a little bit of comfort, thinking about this woman in a similar situation as me getting "saved" and becoming happy. My ex was controlling with money so I saved little bits here and there and bought itunes cards in secret to keep buying new chapters, and this game, and other even more silly titles, gave me little tiny pieces of secret joy during some really dark times for me.

I was a bit surprised to see the company Voltage is still going strong, and that this old shitty game that probably appeals more to older women than their regular target audience, was still available on their new app. Things in my life are a lot better now in some ways, and in other ways they haven't changed much at all, unfortunately, so I just thought it would be a lot of shits n giggles to play the game again, see what kind of nostalgia it brings back, and laugh at the silliness.

What tags are you using so I can block this nonsense?

in your arms tonight, otome game, liveblog

Let's go, let’s fucking go

[clairenatural]

I think about this all the time and I know that there are other people who would be much better at putting it into words than me, and this is going to be very long (sorry) but like. there’s a very clear narrative that Dean is fed about his parents his whole life, which is: 

- His dad is trying his best. His dad just wants him to be strong, like a man, to protect Sam. Everything his dad did was for his own good. He should be grateful to his dad. He should want to be his dad.

and

- His mom is a mythic figure. She is warm, and soft, and perfect. She exists in the memories that he has of her, where he associates her only with being safe and taken care of, and in the stories his dad tells him, where she is flawless. She is not a real person, she’s an idea--a symbol of the life they could have had. She is why they do everything that they do.

And Dean’s entire character arc from the very beginning is set up to have him break away from these thought patterns--from season 1 we see Dean idolize John, but then see John behave in ways entirely undeserving of that praise. He wears John’s coat. He drives John’s car. But as early as 1x09 Home we start to see that John is not the idol Dean talks about him as. 1x18, Something Wicked, is one of the more heartbreaking episodes when we see just how much John expects of him at age 9, both how much he has to take care of Sam and also how angry John gets when he accidentally puts Sam in danger. In 1x22, when John is possessed, Dean realizes it’s Azazel because “John” tells him he’s proud of him. Literal yellow-eyed demon Azazel overestimates how good of a father John is. And it’s a little later, but it’s still fairly early on in the series (3x10) when Dean has his “he wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me” moment (and it also has the “daddy’s blunt instrument” line). Like this was clearly set up, from the beginning, from Eric Kripke’s hand himself.

But it’s interspersed with these moments where John sells his soul for Dean, or has uneasy reconciliation with Sam, where it’s possible for the audience to stop and go “Wait. Maybe he....cares about them in his own way?” It’s supposed to be confusing because that’s why it’s so hard for Dean to break away from it, too. John sells his soul for Dean and Dean thinks, okay. He wasn’t bad. He did love me. I can’t be mad at him, because that would make me bad and ungrateful, etc. My dad was brave and I should want to be like him. And the cycle continues.

The problem! The problem is that a huge amount of the audience, and even a chunk of tptb, also buy into this narrative. Huge amounts of people believe exactly what Dean was told, even though the whole story is designed, from the beginning, for Dean to realize that’s all wrong--so the result is that there’s never any narrative closure. The audience is continuously told “John Winchester was an abusive monster who really fucked up both of his kids. Except, no, he was a Good Man and the boys need to forgive him and Dean should want to be a Good Man like him” which is also the message that Dean gets, which means he can never break the “Dad was abusive, except no, he was a Good Man and I should be like him” cycle.

This also happens with Mary, which is potentially where this post gets more controversial. We also start to see the “perfect mother” façade of Mary being dropped fairly early, when it’s revealed that she was a hunter and that she made the deal for John in exchange for Sam. But, obviously, the “perfect mother” ideal is fully deconstructed when she comes back in s12. 

I do think there are valid criticisms of Mary and I think they could have done parts better, and she does go on to betray them, but on a basic level Dean’s first instinct is to be angry that she doesn’t fit his perfect memories, not any of the other stuff. This leads to actual character development--to start to heal from his childhood, it’s important for him to realize that the mom he had in his head that he was Doing It All For wasn’t really a full person--just the idealized stories from his obsessive father and his own memories of 4-and-under, drenched in childhood nostalgia and the warmth of the only stable home he’s ever had. 

For some reason, Mary doesn’t have the untouchable status of John, so they’re actually allowed to grapple with this a bit and she and Dean are able to have the face-to-face “I am your mother, but I am not just a mom. And you are not a child.” “I never was.” conversation, which is heartbreaking because they’re both correct. I have not-so-positive thoughts about how the narrative holds her more accountable for simply not fitting into the idealized version of Mother Mary that her sons hold than it does John for being actually abusive, but that’s not this post, and ultimately they do move forward with the storyline of Dean coming to terms with it.

But people got so angry. I’m not talking about the people who have valid criticisms about how her character could have been more interesting, or how she does betray them, or any legitimate stuff--I’m talking about people being mad specifically because she “abandons” her sons again, and being mad that she didn’t just appear in the bunker’s kitchen baking endless pies. Those people have fallen into the exact same trap that Dean did--they idealized Mary and are angry when she’s a real person and not just a fantasy mother. 

This is a really long post but my point is that: when we meet him, Dean believes a set of fake truths about both his parents, which the narrative then tries to deconstruct. But, for some reason, a good chunk of the viewers (and, at least on John’s part, at least some of the production team) have also fallen for those fake truths; they think John was misguided but not abusive and ultimately was a good father, and that Mary was a perfect, pie-making mother. The end result is that John is never allowed to be held accountable, so Dean can never heal and grow, and Mary is absolutely demonized the moment she strays from that paradigm. And I just. Don’t know how to end this post but I think about this a lot. And it’s interesting. And I wonder how the show would have been allowed to go if it hadn’t happened like that.

[stopeatingwhales]

the 1995 brits x damon albarn & liam gallagher

hhhiiii I'm here with a very cute little fic about the brits!! the idea of writing something with Damon and liam fighting over someone was requested quite a long time ago (sorry it’s taken so long omg) but I loved the idea!! I do hope you all enjoy it as I enjoyed writing it a lot hahah xx

Pairing: 90s damon albarn & 90s liam gallagher x reader

Warnings: nothing, just a little bit of bickering n dat

Word count: 3.057

Requested by anon x

༉‧₊˚✧

Being a part of the madness that adapted the name ‘Britpop’ was truly an experience. Paparazzi at every corner you turn, equipped with the brightest, flashiest cameras, also having the most annoying click noises to the point that after one image you’ve earned yourself a migraine that would last the entirety of the day; parties that would last entire nights, bearing millions of different kinds of drugs - some that hadn’t even been given a name yet, but you’d still give a try anyways, since you’re so high and drunk that you simply lose the intellectual capability to construct decisions, you say fuck it, and get so high to the point that you’ve blacked out in a booth in a bar, with the owner asking you to get out since you’ve been inside for one too many hours after closing time; as well as constant press coverage. With your name plastered over literally every newspaper and music magazine known to man, as well as having your entire life consistently dictated for the entire nation to read about every Sunday morning and indulge themselves into as a form of entertainment, it was what being famous delivered, right on your doorstep at 7 in the morning. Any earlier and you’d feel rude not to give them a cup of tea as a form of dignity and respect towards their sublime dedication to the job. Although it was fun being associated with it all, my band in particular gaining a different form of calidity due to it being a female fronted band, by the time that the entire nation was hooked on this ‘Blur vs. Oasis’ rivalry, it was as if every other britpop band had been washed away from existence, due to eight boys arguing as to whom had the better music. And the better looks, according to Liam Gallagher.

Tonight was the night of the Brit awards, perhaps the most prestigious awards ceremony for music. To be awarded a Brit was probably the largest achievement possible in British music in the form of an award, and it was definitely either going tonight to either Blur or Oasis. The chances that another band, say Pulp, were to get the award, would not only be extremely amusing to see the reactions of the two biggest names in the Britpop game, but would also cause the largest uproar in the nation. It’s either Blur or Oasis. “Their drama is so silly,” laughed Emily, the guitarist in our band whilst flicking through the latest edition of the Sun, the cover of the newspaper being, of course, Liam Gallagher. “They’re literally bickering about who looks the best. How do people find this interesting?”

“Because of how silly it is, people never leave their secondary-school-like selves. Just a bit of fun I guess.” I replied, fixing up my hair in the mirror in front of me. We were currently getting ready to go to the award show, and needing to look your best was an expectation. Though I wasn’t dressed in anything that would result in jaw’s dropping, it was important that I at least appeared somewhat admirable - the entire nation always had their eyes on us, but tonight they were going to see us all, live. Perhaps the reason why bands like Oasis and Blur are so obsessed over nowadays, since all they’ll do is turn up in some flimsy Adidas t-shirt and call that fashion. I suppose scruffy was the new elegant.

“Who do you think they’ll give the award to?” she questioned, still aimlessly flicking through the recycled pages of the magazine. “I think Oasis. Their music is so much better than Blurs.”

“Really? I’d say Blur. They won on top of the pops, so the likelihood of them winning the Brit award is highly likely,” I answered, shuffling away from the strong reflection of myself towards Emily, my eyes quickly scanning the page that she had her eye on currently. “Gosh Liam’s so full of himself.”

“He’s got his eye on you, you know,” She said, shoving the paragraph she had just read in my face of Liam boasting about his little crush he had supposedly gained from watching our latest performance on top of the pops. “Thinks you’re ‘well fit’.”

Scoffing in response, I mumbled back to Emily. “If he thinks that he’s sleeping with me, he’s very deluded.”

By the time we had arrived at the venue, you weren’t able to walk into the entrance without at least 50 cameras blinding your eyes and the shouts of so many begging for you to quickly turn your head and grin - the price for the photo would reach the many thousands. Once walking in, it was less crowded, only having select people by the ground floor, dedicated for musicians and bands, with the occasional interviewer walking past to every circled table, adorned with white cloth and champagne glasses, asking questions about how they’re feeling, who they think may win, and what they thought of the music throughout the past year. What was nice was that people didn’t have that much interaction with one another, just with their groups. It created a sense of formality in the space, which made me feel a bit at ease from the idea of some random row happening in the middle of the floor, most likely between Liam and Damon. The past year in music was truly something. Britpop was at its peak the entirety of the year, with songs like Parklife and Supersonic pouring out of every radio station in Britain that by the end of the year, you had ditched casual radio music and began blasting the classical station. It was a nightmare. Since the fall of grunge subsequent to Cobain’s death the previous year, the talk of any other genre in Britain apart from Britpop didn’t occur. It was as if we were living on this mystical island, miles away from any other music and culture, whilst adorning and obsessing over our own. What was nice about Britpop was that it was a pure celebration of English culture, whether it be a simple Sunday roast, or going to school, they all carried the same ambience of nostalgia and pride - also disregarding whichever band wrote what song.

“Free champagne… Yes please,” said Madeline, the secondary guitarist of the band, whilst heading to the first seat she could sit on, then quickly indulging herself with the first taste of the rich drink. “Oh my gosh it’s heavenly!”

Laughing at her reaction, the rest of the band took a seat around the table and took their first sips of the champagne, which we would all come to find to be indeed heavenly. Small talk was shared here and there with the rest of the group, but overall I stayed silent. In all honesty I found attending award shows was quite boring because if you didn’t end up getting an award, you would essentially be sitting there for two hours doing nothing. Even if you did win an award, it’s simply a minute of glory with the speakers blasting your music, and another minute of all eyes piercing into your soul as you make sentences about your gratitude towards those who had helped you along the way to earn such an achievement. I doubt anybody genuinely liked attending shows like these.

“The champagne is good, yet we don’t get enough for our table,” I complained, grasping my now empty champagne glass and waving it around in the air. “I’m gonna head to the bar to get a refill, anybody want anything?”

After receiving a handful of nos from the rest of the band, I took myself out of my seat and wandered over to the bar, which was empty, perhaps due to the venue not yet being completely filled with all the artists that were set to attend the night. “Just a refill of the champagne, please.” I asked politely, handing the bartender the used glass I had kept in my hand. Whilst waiting, I noticed that Damon was on the other side of the bar, who also didn’t notice me there, until he caught eyes with me.

A grin broke out on his face as I walked over to him. “You alright?” He asked me, quickly thanking the bartender for his drink and turning back to look at me. The height difference between us was evident, but it wasn’t the case of something so dramatic that he was the height of the empire state building and me, just a measly common tower in the city. He looked quite content, his hair scruffy yet neat, along with his outfit being just as I had assumed: a white shirt with jeans, a used pair of Adidas for shoes.

I smiled back at him and nodded. “Suppose you have high hopes for the award tonight.” I said, simultaneously receiving my refill of the beverage I had ordered, followed by my thanks. We stood adjacent, although there was enough distance between us to establish our relationship - mutual acquaintances whom had met every now and again, since they’ve both been dragged into this wormhole of madness. He was quite the opposite in comparison to his rivals, though he himself could be quite bothersome occasionally, he still had a grasp to what those may call sensibility.

“Oh well we’re better than them, aren’t we love?'' He chirped, his head now cocked to the side in a teasing manner. “I’ve heard that you’re rooting for us this year.” He added, a little smirk pasted on his face.

“Do you read every paper you see?” I questioned, my face turning away from him in slight embarrassment. Between us, there was no shared intention for a relationship to stem, though there was definitely a flirtatious tension that followed between us wherever we had met. Whether it be a random photoshoot for a magazine double-spread, or backstage at top of the pops, we always managed to share a chat with one another, and nothing else followed on from then. It was quite sad, because once you’ve established a connection between something you either both disagree or agree with in terms of societal views, something in the press, or life in general, you’re instantaneously cut off and asked to hop onto stage to record a meaningless three-minute performance with fake, plastic instruments which practically mean nothing.

“Well it was nice seeing someone else's face on the papers for once.” He replied, downing his drink, then ushering at the bartender for another. A thing that we both realised was that, between our conversations, we indirectly indicated that we were both there for each other, because we both had a complete understanding towards what may be happening to the other person. It was stressful being in the limelight constantly, and for someone who was the frontman of a band so large, with his face plastered on every magazine cover imaginable, things were bound to be stressful.

Sighing, I turned to face him again. Despite the fact that before I had the ability to respond, our conversation was cut short from a voice shouting my name from behind. “Well if it isn’t bloody Y/N.” the voice said, and from then I instantly knew it was Liam’s. Turning my face away from Damon’s, I locked eyes with Liam. As always, he was dressed in the usual: a parka, with casual jeans. Oh, and don’t forget the Adidas shoes. Even though he and Damon practically hated each other’s guts, they always seemed to have similar fashion senses, but I could never picture Damon in a parka. And I don’t think I even want to.

“How’ve you been love?” He asked, swinging his arm around my shoulder in a warm, but nonchalant manner. Me and Liam had a similar relationship to that of mine and Damons, simply just minusing the sentimentality of it. We were friends, and had come across each other at random parties, which opened the gateway for us to drink and get high together many a time. While he was quite the idiot, he was also a very fun guy to be around, but I knew Damon would never understand that. “And why’re you letting this twat chat to you?”

A laugh escaped Damon’s throat. “I think you’re the only twat here, Liam,” he began, a sigh leaving my mouth as I was trapped in a situation that I could only pray didn’t gain much traction from the rest of the attendees. “Me and Y/N are friends, don’t suppose we’re getting jealous are we?”

Liam’s grip on my shoulder tightened as I stared at his reaction to Damon. I felt quite small in this situation, due to me needing to tilt my head a good amount to properly look at Liam, and knowing if I left it would just erupt chaos and make it worse. “No need for me to be jealous when I know that she wouldn’t want to spend a minute with you in bed you bastard.”

“And you’re so sure about that are you?” Damon replied, amusement laced in his words. “Because you’ve totally spent a minute with her haven’t you?”

“Well I’ve got my arm around her haven’t I? And she’s not stopping me,” Liam argued back, a smirk entwined on his lips. Reaching for my hand, Liam grasped it lightly, then then brought it to his lips, kissing it, before holding it gently. Method of intimidation, perhaps, and though it was sweet, there was a time and place. And this was definitely neither the time, or place. “Who’s the jealous one now, eh?”

“The last I recall, she had hoped that we were winning this year, not you,” He boasted, moving the contents of his drink around whilst grasping it firmly. Whilst it would be something that would offend Liam, he was simply the type of person to not take criticism regardless of whomever it was coming from. I respected him for that. “So much so for a healthy relationship.” Damon mocked, staring into my eyes as a small laugh escaped my lips.

Granted that I had found the argument shared between the pair of them to be extremely silly, it was good entertainment as the time passed before the award show would begin. Watching them both, attempting to throw insults at one another, each one trying to cut a little deeper than the one previous, made me almost laugh at the both of them right there. “You know, it’s so silly that you both think you know me so well to think which one I’d pick from the both of you,” I said, detaching myself from Liam’s embrace and snatching my half-empty glass of champagne. “At this point, it’s neither of you.”

Walking back to my band’s designated table, I quietly took my seat as the show began. “Saw you chatting to Damon,” Emily whispered, raising her eyebrows. “Also saw you grinning like a madwoman.”

“Oh shut up you,” I replied, looking back at the bar to notice that both parties had left, assuming back to their places. “There’s nothing going on between me and Damon- Liam too in fact.”

~~~

As the ceremony went on, the boredom got to us. Even the amount of drinks I had didn’t entertain me, but what could we do, we were stuck in the middle of an award show celebrating music, even though I had largely doubted that the majority of those attending were enjoying themselves. I had no clue who the awards were going to be handed out to, and whether that somebody may be us in a category, but we all knew Blur were going to win something. Yes, Oasis had gained a lot of fame and had become one of the most famous bands in the music scene at the minute, but by the way things had gone for Blur after the release of Parklife, things only seemed to go further up from there. And that was only proven to be truthful, after Blur had left with four different awards.

After Blur had received their fourth award for best British group, we all knew that there was nothing left for Oasis. “They’ll get it all next year, they only debuted this year you know.” I said to the table, who were staring at the four smiley boys on stage as they trotted up to receive their award. I admired Damon as he said his speech, then also turning to look over at Liam, who looked quite evidently pissed off. He was practically drooling in anger from the sight brought to him at that particular moment, and I couldn’t blame him - their band hadn't gone home with one award that night, but neither had ours. “They’ve taken four awards home, isn’t that like, the most anybody has ever taken?”

“Indeed it is,” Madeline replied, taking a sip from her drink. “Must be a good year for them then, eh?”

As I watched the band leave the stage in absolute glee, I stared at Damon as he walked back to his designated seat for the short remainder of the evening. Despite the fact that my band had been sat in our seats the entire evening in complete boredom, just like Oasis and so many other acts that had been nominated for pointless awards, it would be a lie to say that I wasn’t proud of how far Blur as a whole had come and evolved through their music, and especially Damon. From beginning as young, bowl-cut boys only charting so far on top of the pops, to creating songs and melodies that could unite our entire nation, it was impressive.

Damon was the face of Britain at this very moment, and a very good looking one. Once I watched him sit down, he scanned the room for a while until he was able to find where I was sitting, which was parallel to his seat, merely a couple metres away. He connected eyes with me as soon as he found me, also accompanied with a small smirk painted on his expression as he raised his eyebrows and sent me a wink. I simply smiled back at him in response before turning away abruptly, disrupting the little moment we seemingly shared, and though I felt my heart flutter a little, he’s definitely not winning me that easily.

[mysterystarz]

serendipity:

summary: sometimes you didn't have to look for good things to find them

pairing: iwaizumi hajime x g!n reader

word count: 0.9k

genres + themes: fluff, meet-cute, wedding au (it's your best friends' wedding)

warnings: mild swearing, mentions of exhaustion, iwaizumi being hot

a/n: happy birthday to one of the loves of my life! of course, here is my contribution to the iwaizumi hajime birthday fanclub, so I hope you enjoy this serendipitous rendezvous with iwaizumi too!

You’d be more excited if you weren’t exhausted.

The venue of your best friend’s wedding was something straight out of a fairytale, the pale string lights casting an almost ethereal glow on the guests and halls of the area. It was furnished with the cutest tables, and the music that drifted through the space provided an air of nostalgia that you knew the happy couple would come to cherish for years.

You really wanted to be more excited. After all, your best friend had practically jumped at the chance to invite you to the wedding and place you as an honored guest.

You just couldn’t control the circumstances. Everything would have been okay if you had been able to get a proper night's sleep, or hadn’t had to worry about the deadlines that were imposed on you.

You loved your best friend. You were glad that she was going to live the rest of her life with the beautiful man that was her partner, a man that would treat her well and make sure that she’d always be happy.

You wished you could find someone like that.

“A penny for your thoughts?” A deep voice had chuckled behind you. Turning around, you found yourself staring at a man who might as well have been a greek god.

You were too fatigued to go into detail, but from your point of view, you saw the way his green eyes were filled with raw amusement, and the way his muscles were defined nicely beneath his tux.

Oh crap. Hot guy.

“You’d have to pay me more than that to hear them,” You drawled, taking a sip of the juice that sat in your cup. “Or you could tell me who you are.”

“Introductions are a bit overrated in a wedding setting, don’t you think?” The man pulled over a chair before joining you at the table. “If you’re worried I’m going to judge you, then you don’t have to worry about that. I have friends who’ve said some crazier things.”

“Well, what do you get out of the atmosphere?” You decided to question, sitting up straight in your chair. You could identify his features far more clearly now, from the structured nose to the chiseled jawline.

Yup. Still hot. He’s hot as fuck.

“I’m guessing it’s the type where we should feel excited, and yet we can’t for some reason.” He grinned, taking a sip of a drink you had just noticed he was holding. “I feel the same. My best friend expects me to give him a personal speech later tonight, but I don’t have anything I can really say.”

“My friend expected the same. You’re here for the groom, aren’t you?” Looking to your right, you saw the way the couples danced throughout the room, mingling with your best friend, who beamed as if she had captured the sun.

“Yup. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world, even if it meant having to sit aside like this.” He admitted, cracking his knuckles. “I’d ask you to come dance, but you seem like you need something strong.”

You nodded as you propped your chin up on your hand, looking into the amusement of the other guests. “Yeah, I might. Say, you’re the groom's friend. Why aren’t you having the time of your life out there?”

“Same reason as you.” Was all he said, face devoid of all emotion. “I know I’m supposed to be here, but feel like I’m some sort of a passerby, which also kind of sucks, considering that birthdays are supposed to be happy.”

You processed his statement, allowing your mind to wrap around his honest words and realized that sitting there miserable would not be what your friend would have wanted.

She would have wanted you to be happy.

You need to be happy.

He deserved to be happy too.

“Hey, how would you feel about ditching this to go grab some coffee?”

He gazed up at you, a full blown smile on his handsome face. “I know a cafe nearby.”

Not even thirty minutes later the two of you sat in one of the booths, sipping your drinks as the streetlights casted their glow onto the pavement of the road, the cars leisurely passing by in the clear night outside. The silence between the two of you was a welcome one, something wholesome and pure as you sipped your drinks.

“You mentioned that it was your birthday,” You smiled, passing your money to the cashier, “This one’s on me.”

“Oh, I can’t accept that!” He protested, “How can I pay you back?”

You smirked at the opportunity as you leaned a bit closer to him. “How about you tell me whom I should owe the pleasure of sharing a drink with?”

He grabbed your hand, brushing his lips softly over the back of it as he smiled back at you, eyes gleaming mischievously.

“Iwaizumi,” He said, “Iwaizumi Hajime.”

Perhaps ditching your friend’s wedding to hang out in a quaint cafe was all worth it, because it meant that you got to love and understand the man in front of you.

It also seemed that good things could come to you without you having to look for them.

Under the dim lights of the cafe and the light breeze that drifted in through the windows, you realized then and there, that Iwaizumi Hajime would forever be your good thing.

©mysterystarz all rights reserved, please do not plagiarize, translate, or modify my fics in any way even if credited

taglist: @moi-bunni @kousukii @stellar-jisung @kawaii-angelanne @iwasunshine @haikyuutothetop @catchmewiddershins @dearkousei @perqabeth

additional tags: @maizumis (i thought i'd tag you since it's an iwa fic hahaha :> ) @just-a-nekoma-stan (you wanted to read it spencer, so here it is!) @flushphoria (i'm helping you with your brainrot angie)

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reblogs are appreciated <3

[shurisneakers]

shut in [10]

Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)

Warnings: cursing, anxiety, ptsd, shooting, abuse

Word count: 2.8k

A/N: double digit chapter!!! like 3 parts to go everyoneeee woo!!

i also appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!!

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist

The nostalgia was strong. 

The last time you and Sam were sitting like this, you were deciding on what to make of the bread supply that was now dwindling. The soup had ran out maybe a day or two ago and you were left with just bread, peanut butter and jelly.

You two had to devise an escape plan. You’d been there long enough and now with Sam making his first public appearance as Mob’s Most Wanted, even if it was for a good cause, there was no doubt that people would be after you.

“What if we go back to Ransone and let the rest sort itself out along the way?”

You made a note of it on the paper but you weren’t very convinced with the idea, not with the realisations you had made along the way.

“Do we know any other hideouts?” you asked instead, tapping the pencil against the paper.

“None that you don’t already know.” He chewed on his lip thoughtfully. “What are your thoughts on caves? Think we can make a bed outta some leaves?”

You wrote down ‘Sam’s cave idea’, just to humour him. Stupid, but more plausible than other options.

“If we make a run for it, what are the chances we’ll survive?”

“With law enforcement, civilians and gang members looking for us, I’d give us about-” you said candidly, “-two months. Three max.”

It wasn’t like you had no experience running from the state, but it was never on this scale. 

“We’d have years if it was only law enforcement, but we had to go get the entire fuckin’ mafia involved,” he huffed in annoyance.

An idea occurred to you that made you pause, but you hated it.

“What if we split up?” you suggested halfheartedly. “It’ll take them more time to find the both of us, if they’re looking for us together.”

When he didn’t reply, you looked up at him from the sheet in front of you.

“We’re not splitting up,” he began steadily, just as you knew he would. “The same people who are after you are after me. We need to stick together.”

“I know. I’m not saying we can’t meet again after that, I’m saying that maybe it’ll be easier for us to hide.”

He couldn’t deny that it wasn't the worst idea, but something didn’t sit right with him. He didn’t want to do it.

“Okay, then how do we find each other after that? When? I don’t have your email; fuck that, I don’t even have your number.”

“We’ll schedule it, I guess,” you murmur, trying to work out the logistics. “Whoever gets there late has to buy ice cream. And I’m particular about the flavour I like.”

You tried to lighten up the mood but he wasn’t having it, as much as he appreciated it.

“I don’t care if it’s more difficult,” he said slowly. “But I’d like us to stick together. Not until we’re out of this mess. Then if you want to never see my face again, which you shouldn’t because it’s beautiful, we’ll go our different ways.”

He was adamant about it, and you knew he’d argue and poke holes into the plan until it didn’t make sense anymore. You weren’t going to argue.

“Okay,” you accepted. “We stick together.”

A smile spread across his face which equated to one of triumph. “You got any other ideas?” 

“We stay right here and fight off whoever comes.”

It was dumb. This place wasn’t yours, and staying here would be a death wish. That didn’t stop you from saying it since neither of you were holding back on implausible ideas.

“This is our house now,” Sam added with determination, playing along.

“Damn right,” you affirmed, cracking a smile at him.

Bringing your attention back, you stared at the list. There is one option you wanted to explore but you weren’t sure if you could because you didn’t have the resources. But he may.

“You got any friends whose help we could use?” you asked cautiously, unsure of how this would play out. 

He continued chewing on his lip for a second like he was analysing all options, before nodding. 

“I got a friend. Well, my only friend,” he corrects himself. “His name’s Riley.”

“He got a place we can stay, this Riley?”

“He does. But I don’t want to involve him. He’s-” he paused, trying to find the right words to frame what he’s thinking “-he’s been through a lot.”

“We’ll leave him alone then,” you assured, realising that it must be a touchy topic for him.

Sam didn’t move on, though. 

“I’m all ears if you want to talk,” you offered. 

He pressed his lips together, giving you a tight smile. He looked like he wanted to say more but was holding back. You reciprocated, hoping it would give him some reassurance, noting how he exhaled softly.

“When I joined the cartel, I didn’t really have anyone to talk to since everyone was much older than I was. Riley was the first friend I made. He was a mouthy li’l one.” Sam smiled wistfully and you found yourself smiling with him. “He talked so much shit and he had the spunk to back it up but he never really got that far because no one wanted to test their luck with him.”

“We spent whatever free time we had together. He didn’t have a family so he and I-” he trailed off but you knew what he was getting at. “Ransone found out. Didn’t like anyone in his stupid squad becoming all buddies because if we turned against him, he knew he’d lose.”

Shared experience. You didn’t have any friends in the organization either; they were always separated from you willingly or by force. You wondered if that’s why you had taken such a liking towards Sam, knowing fully well that it was the first time in years you were able to be friends with someone without having to worry.

“He started pittin’ us against one another. Combat training, preferential treatment, just plain out sabotage. Riley’s the reason my back’s all kinds of fucked up.” He gave a short laugh. “Tried everything he could to make sure we’d stay away or even kill each other if it came to that.”

“But you didn’t.”

“But we didn’t,” he confirmed. “Ransone fuckin’ hated it, so one day, he decided that he’s going to finish it once and for all. Sent us on a fake mission so that we’d be alone together, then told us that only one of us could come back. One of us had to die or else both of us would. Some sick fuckin’ form of entertainment.”

It was exactly something that Ransone would do. Dramatic, vile and utterly despicable, just for his own joy,

Your eyebrows knit together when his eyes glazed over. 

“Riley, he- he didn’t even let me have at the gun. Just straight up chose for the both of us that he was going to be the one who died. He was so tired, of everythin’.” The muscles in your jaw tightened at where this was going. “He didn’t do it though. We figured out another way.”

You didn’t realise how tensed you were until you forced yourself to relax.

“Faked his death.” He shrugged. “It was the only way. Let Ransone believe he bled out and that I buried him behind the warehouse he sent us to. Shot him in the leg to make it look convincing. He’s still got a limp.”

“He made a run for it. Found himself a place in New Orleans, changed his identity, basically made turned into a whole new person. Ransone bought it for a while because I’d make it a point to visit the grave, leave some flowers and shit. Told him that if he messed with it that I’d put a bullet in his head and I was angry enough for him to see that I wasn’t kidding. I knew he’d figure it out eventually but I was hoping I’d get rid of him by then.”

“He lived in New Orleans for years. Never had a problem until recently.”

Sam paused for a second, but it gave you the time to pull up an old conversation you had with him.

“He’s the one Ransone threatened you with,” you connected the dots. “He’s the one he found.”

“Said he’d kill him if I didn’t take out Pierce for him,” his words were bitter, confirming what you said. “Sent me a picture of him in front of his house to prove it.”

“Fuckin’ hell,” you breathed, leaning back. Sam’s situation was more dangerous than you initially thought. Having Riley in the picture just made it more difficult to help Sam get out of the organization, especially since he was now leverage material.

“You asked me once what the scariest thing I had done was.” You didn’t get immediately what he was talking about until you remember the questions you had asked to get to know him better. “It was that. Getting him out of this life and trying not to get caught in the process.”

You didn’t know what to say.

“He’s the only family I got left.” The way his voice dropped made him sound so tired. “He’s already on their radar. If they find out I’m staying with him or that he’s helping in any way, they’ll kill him.”

You didn’t say anything, not like you had anything constructive to offer at that moment.

“That got dark real quick,” he remarked, the corners of his lips quirking upward.

Clearly he didn’t have anyone to talk to about this. To explain the entire thing from the beginning must have drained him completely.

“I’m sorry that you had to go through that,” you said quietly.

He paused for a second, looking like he was thinking to himself.

“Me too.”

______

The sky’s beautiful, you decide.

You could stare at the clouds for hours.

Which is what the both of you have been doing.

“If you fucking say it’s anything other than a dog, I’ll push you off the roof myself.”

“It’s clearly a penguin, Samuel.”

“I hate you.”

The cement was cool against your skin even though there was a blanket serving as a mediator between you and it. The sun nipped at your skin and your back was aching from staying in the same place for a prolonged period.

Sam tended to think better when he was outside, unconstrained by harsh white walls and artificial light. So you grabbed a spare blanket, a bottle of water and the ladder to haul the both of you to the roof. It was filthy, as you expected but you managed to tidy a part of it to the best of your ability before laying the blanket down.

“I know why you brought me up here, Y/N,” he piped up.

You just knew that when you needed some space, he often implored you to go outside. You figured the best way to help him was to do the same, not knowing what else you could have to give.

“Just wanted to let you know that I appreciate it,” he added.

Okay good. It helped.

“That’s a tree.” You pointed upwards, avoiding his gaze.

“You get three more seconds to change that answer to a table.”

“That looks nothing like a table. You’re delusional.”

He laughed, not offering a counter argument.

The outside did him good. He was calmer than when you first came here a few hours ago. He didn’t let his spite towards Ransone show very often, especially at this volume. Talking about Riley only reaffirmed how much he despised the man.

“We need to get out of here eventually, you know?” you mused.

You don’t want to. You don’t want to admit that saying it out loud made it worse.

“We do,” he sounded sure and you wondered if he ever felt bad about it too, “but we need a proper plan.”

The clouds shifted. It looked like a kid on a bike; not that you’d ever tell him. He would never agree.

“We need help,” you stated.

“We can’t.” You knew he’d say that.

“You know we do, Sam.”

“There’s no one out there we can trust.”

You liked that he used ‘we’. The only other times you had been referred to as ‘we’ had been for things so sinister, so violent.

His elbow was touching yours lightly. You wanted to move closer, press against him.

“There’s one person who might be able to.”

He turned to look at you questioningly. You did the same.

You waited till he figured it out on his own. His face shifted the minute it clicked in his head.

“No way.” He turned away, almost laughing out of bewilderment.

“It’s our only option.”

“Then we’ll find another one,” he began to sound more insistent, realising you were being serious. It was a crazy idea, you’d give him that, but it’s the only one you had that had a sure shot of working.

“We’ve tried. You’ve tried. There’s only one way,” you knew that getting annoyed wouldn’t get through to him and you also understood his hesitations. “He’ll help.”

“We don’t know that. It’s too fuckin’ dangerous.” He couldn’t afford that; not this late in the game.

“I know it. Lis- Sam. Look at me,” you commanded gently, and he obeyed reluctantly. “I understand that this is absolutely batshit wild, but I promised I’d help you. This is the only way I can think of. But I need you to trust me.”

He looked unsettled.

He didn’t have anything to go on. Only your word and his faith in you. He could say no and he knew you’d spend countless hours pouring over multiple options just to find another way. He could say no and you’d take it in stride and he wouldn’t have to worry about it. It wasn’t about trusting you, it was about not trusting the others.

But he could also say yes and let you take control, trust your instincts. You had never let him down before and he knew you wouldn’t now. He could say yes and help you work on one solid plan that had equal chances of failing as it did being a success, but it was something that you could be sure of.

“I’ll tell you this though, Sam. You always have a choice.”

He felt your fingers trace at his face patiently. He scooted closer, letting your bodies press gently against each other.

“Okay,” he whispered. “I trust you.”

He didn’t know if he made the right choice or not, but the smile that appeared on your face made him think that maybe he did.

God, he was done for.

___

“You ready?” you asked him.

“No, but what the hell; let’s do it.”

You let it ring right to the very end.

“Hello.” It seemed gratuitous at this point because you knew the conversation wouldn’t proceed with that.

“Code?”

“1993.”

“Y/N. Hello,” his voice came back loud and clear.

“Hey.” You snuck a glance at Sam. He was completely stiff.

“How are you?”

“I’ve been… good,” you admitted.

“Oh?” he sounded amused. “That’s a change.”

“Yeah.” You shifted on your feet awkwardly. “Listen, I need help.”

“Help with?”

“We need to get out of here. We can’t do it without you. I mean we can, but it’d be better if you lent a hand.”

“When you say ‘we’, you’re referring to…”

“Me.” Sam stepped forward towards the phone. You shifted it so it was between you.

“Oh, hello,” he sounded surprised, and he had good reason to be. “You know about-”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Y/N, you trust him?”

“Yeah,” you looked up at Sam, “I do.”

“Alright. If shit goes wrong, you’re both fucked. I’m not taking any responsibility.”

“We get that,” you sighed. “Can you help or not?”

There was a momentary silence on the other end as he thought.

“Tell me what you had in mind.”

“We got a hit.”

They turned away from their conversation with the person walking beside them at the interruption.

“This better be important.” They gestured to their companion who looked annoyed at being interrupted. He was too dangerous to have on anyone’s bad side but the agent didn’t care. This was crucial.

“Someone saw him. Wilson.” He was breathless from the flight of stairs he had run to come upstairs.

“Where?” They could hardly believe their ears, restraining to contain the excitement that was threatening to rise.

“A town, miles away from Pierce’s place. Said he roamed around looking for a store, bought some food and then left.” His eyes shone. “We think we might know where they are. A rough sketch at least. Couldn’t follow him too far because he kept checking.”

“Finally,” their face gleamed, completely discarding the guest they had and the confusion on his face. “Some good fucking news.”

“Do you want us to put a hit out on them?” The relief the agent felt was almost overwhelming. His partner may have died but it didn’t look like he was going to.

“No,” they said crisply, certainly. “This one’s on me.”

Next part

[raspberry-arev]

After the Flood (a.k.a. bicci fic)

Hello friends! Some of you may remember that back in... er, who knows, I was writing a Bicci Proposal Fanfic. However, school and lack of motivation got in the way, and essentially, I forgot it existed. Until now. It's done, it's ready, it's here for you to read in whole! (I posted half of it before, but I can't find the thing.)

Characters: Jimmy Kaga-Ricci, Lister Bird, Rowan Omondi, OC (Abby Omondi), Angel Rahimi

Themes: older Ark, marriage proposal, coming out, grand gestures, The Ark Revival Tour, and peak Bicci romance (hopefully)

TWs: mentions of recovery from addiction, anxiety, food

Word count: 9k

JIMMY

It’s often impossible to pinpoint what exactly set off an event – or perhaps multiple – that changed your life as you knew it.

That was not Jimmy’s case, however. He remembered that Barbecue Saturday very well.

This time, it was Rowan and his spouse Abby who hosted. The two couples took turns and Jimmy was oh so grateful for it; the idea of managing Lister’s chaotic culinary experiments more than twice in one summer filled him with dread.

On Saturday morning, Jimmy and Lister packed up and drove all the way to the suburbs of London where Rowan and Abby lived. The sun was bright, everything gleamed buttery yellow, and Jimmy managed to talk Abby into letting him set the table and carry in all the food instead of her, which was quite an accomplishment. She was about as stubborn as her husband.

They rarely invited more than three extra people though. Being in the public eye in your formative years made you appreciate small gatherings of trustworthy people. And one of those proved to be Angel. Or, you know, Feresteh, but her nickname really stuck with them. From that time Jimmy nearly quit the band and Lister impaled himself and almost drowned in mud… yeah, call that a wild youth.

Over ten years later, they were hardly the same people.

After they decided to quit being The Ark for their own wellbeing and safety, Rowan kept his place in the music industry as a songwriter, producer and a solo artist. He went with the name Le Monde, a play on his surname as well as French for “the world”. It suited him. He was the world, never small, never just one thing.

Lister stopped being involved in music after a few collabs. While he was figuring out what to do next, he took a few modelling jobs, acted in music videos and got a small part in a sitcom. Jimmy used that time to get a college degree, but found he just wouldn’t be able to get the usual “college experience” he yearned for, and only got his diploma after doing classes long-distance.

Jimmy and Lister also got together. After many failed attempts at courtship and pretending being friends with benefits was enough… they got together. To Jimmy, it felt like it was inevitable; they have acted like partners long before it was official, they just needed to clean up their own messes before they could be a couple. It wouldn’t have felt right back then, but it did now.

Rowan was already at the grill preparing meat and wrapping camembert in shiny aluminium foil when Angel marched in, tall, elegant, beaming. Jimmy loved to see her again. Each time, she seemed a little more confident, more expressive, more… just more. She really did find her calling in the music industry, just as much as he found his tucked away in rural England with his boyfriend.

Yet, he was to be “tucked away” no longer.

At a certain point, their group fell momentarily silent; everyone was chewing their meal and soaking in the sun. Then Angel said, in an unfamiliar, cautious tone: “You see, I was talking to a couple of people…”

Rowan exchanged a quick look with Jimmy. “Go on,” he said.

“It’s gonna be ten years since you guys disbanded, you know.”

“I know,” Jimmy echoed.

“So. I was thinking. Hear me out, even if you think it’s bollocks…” Angel shot them a look, and then made a motion with her hand as if she was presenting them with something. “Have you ever thought of doing a revival concert?”

As Rowan did a theatrical “errrm”, Jimmy saw straight through his best friend’s bullshit: the two of them rehearsed this conversation. He knew Ro for most of his life, who did he think he was fooling?

His mind offered the answer quickly: Abby, perhaps. He wants to see how she would react, doesn’t he? Rowan would love to do a revival show like that, no doubt, but he valued his wife’s opinion too much to make a decision without her.

He felt movement on his left, and looked Lister in the eyes.

“Well,” said Lister, looking at him. “Wow, okay,” said Jimmy. Both were considering.

Angel swiftly picked up, “Just wanted to run this idea by you. Not because it’s me who would love to see you play once more – I mean, of course I would – but it’s expected to have an amazing turn-out.”

“Obviously, they’re The Ark,” Abby commented matter-of-factly.

“You’re right, Abby. So, guys? How are we feeling about this?”

It was bizzare. Normally, Jimmy would have expected to say he wasn’t at all interested – the boyband life was not for him anymore, tough luck – but recently, he felt a strong sense of nostalgia surge through him as the ten year mark got closer. He found himself reaching for his old guitar way more often, strumming at it, looking for something between the strings he could not reach.

Maybe he could do it just once.

What eventually came out of his mouth was… “I haven’t sung like that for a long time though.”

“You sing to me,” Lister contradicted him, his fingers intertwining with his. “All the time.”

Jimmy felt his face get hotter. “That’s hardly… Are you thousands of people?” He turned to Angel. “How many are we talking, anyway?”

She smiled a kind smile. “I don’t know, Jimmy, that depends on whether you three are up to it or not.”

Rowan cleared his throat. “Personally speaking, I think I wouldn’t mind, as long as we are just doing it once, and not trying for a comeback. I wouldn’t go there.”

“Same,” Lister nodded. “I love you guys, but I’m fine the way things are.”

“Right,” said Rowan firmly. “But… just this once, I mean, why not? We could use some extra money.” With this, he gently let his palm rest on Abby’s belly that swelled under her summer dress like a balloon. (Jimmy fought the urge to aww at them.)

Abby immediately assured him they were more than fine financially, but Rowan barely listened, clearly waiting for his former bandmates to say something. Jimmy felt Lister looking at him, unwavering. So he turned to him and asked, “What do you think? Cool or not?”

“I’m waiting for you to say.”

“Why?”

“Don’t want you to feel pressured or anything.”

“You shouldn’t… Just say what your opinion is!”

“You express your opinion,” Lister retorted, pretending to square his shoulders as a threat. Jimmy lovingly nudged him, and to stop being annoying to the remaining three people at the table, he shrugged, “It doesn’t sound so bad. One concert. I mean, we are still friends after all this time, so why not?”

“In that case, I would love to be the centre of attention again!” Lister exclaimed and gave Jimmy a boyish grin. “The crowd was deprived of my looks for too long.”

“Buddy, you were the drummer,” Rowan said. “Bold of you to assume anyone even looked at you with me and Jimmy jumping at the front.”

Jimmy snorted with laughter, but Lister was quick to defend himself. “Google all Lister Bird slash Reader fanfic and then we can talk about who got noticed, buddy.”

“Oi, you’re not even properly revived yet, stop fighting!” Angel called out, but laughter started bubbling from every direction before she even finished the sentence.

They had a proper business meeting about it in two weeks. And then another and another. When they announced the first date, the sales went through the roof. Jimmy had to get off of social media because the internet exploded with their names and faces. But he sort of found it a bit sweet, that so many people stuck around for them, like old friends that he never had the chance to talk to. One concert became three and then five, which was, honestly, more like a small tour at that point. Jimmy fought to call it After the Flood and won.

LISTER

“You really shouldn’t do that, you know. This bitch is hard to get rid of.”

Rowan tried to hide a small cough and put out his cigarette on the metal window sill next to him. “Hey,” he greeted Lister. “Didn’t expect you to come out here.”

“Yeah.” Lister found it hard to hang around smokers, and unfortunately, he met quite the number of them while they were in the process of rehearsing. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“What’s up?”

“Can we walk, like, over there? So… nobody can hear us through the door?”

Rowan eyed him suspiciously, but he followed him to the railing on the edge of the roof. There, he turned to him, seeming to fight himself.

“I’m really looking for a less shitty way to ask this,” he admitted eventually. “But… What have you done now, Lister?”

Lister felt a sort of numbed cramp seize his stomach for a second. It took a lot not to let anger overcome him. They were well over thirty, how the hell was Rowan still treating him like a fuck up? But no. This was more important than old grudges.

“Nothing! As of yet,” he assured his bandmate.

“Okay…?”

“Right. So. Erm. Nobody is here, right? Fine. I had this idea… you know, Jimmy and I have been together for a long time and I obviously care about him a lot, I always have, you kind of know that…”

“Yes, go on,” he pushed on gently.

“Fuck it. I want to fucking propose!”

A giant weight fell off his shoulders when he spoke those words aloud. It was like coming out all over again, god.

Rowan’s eyes twinkled. “Oooh,” he almost whispered, “and you need my help with that? I’m your man, tell me the plan!”

“There is none right now.”

“Oh, okay. I can still help if you want.”

This was another part Lister dreaded discussing.

“I… okay, so, I was thinking of… doing it on stage?”

His friend’s face changed rapidly.

Lister’s dream of a grand proposal to the love of his life in brilliant stage lights and the roars of the audience faded away. “That’s a no? That’s a no. Shit, forget it then.” He felt sick.

“Lister, I’m absolutely positive you mean well,” Rowan started. “But Jimmy would-“

Speak of the devil.

The door opened and out of it peaked Jimmy’s unshaven face. “Oh! There you both are.”

Rowan froze for a second. Lister was ready to improvise. “Alright, so how about I come by yours after practice and you transfer the files to me?” He smiled, but impaled Rowan with a meaningful look.

Fortunately, he caught on. “Oh yeah, yeah, that could work.”

“What files?” Jimmy inquired as he joined them, oblivious.

“Rowan has some of our old drafts still saved. I was thinking of squeezing in a drum solo somewhere, maybe with spoken word over it?”

“Sounds cool,” Jimmy smiled at him and slightly brushed the back of his hand with Lister’s. “Anyway, Dick the Sound Guy wants us all in there immediately.”

“Stop calling him that or I’ll have a Freudian slip at some point,” Lister laughed and guided Jimmy back into the building. Him and Rowan managed to exchange a subtle nod over the shorter man’s head.

JIMMY

As they were packing up that day, Jimmy tried incredibly hard to catch Rowan alone. Just like the old times when he needed to discuss something personal. And yet again, it involved Lister. Jimmy felt young and stupid again, but not really in a good way.

Finally, he managed to stop him while he was putting away the equipment. Lister was meanwhile in the office of their temporary new manager. “Ro, I need advice!” he whispered to his best friend.

“What about?”

“It’s Lister.”

“Oh dear Jesus, I’m having flashbacks.”

“Don’t be a dick, it’s important.”

“Okay then, tell me.”

“It kind of involves you too. Just… tell me if it’s a good idea.”

“Go on!”

“I want to, uh… I want to tell people Lister and I are a couple…” He took a breath. “Which means I would be coming out as gay as well, probably. I know that’s, like, a huge pile of drama, so if you don’t want me to complicate the tour, just say it, it’s honestly kind of irresponsible when I’m thinking about it now…”

“Jimbob. Easy.” Rowan waited for a second for Jimmy to wind down, leaning on a stack of five chairs, and then asked, “Are you really sure about it? Do you want people to know?”

Jimmy felt his thoughts humming in his head. He forced himself to say exactly how he felt.

“I know it’s gonna sound super dramatic, but I don’t want to die not saying it,” he explained slowly. “It became really important to me… I don’t know when. But it did. Talking about this part of me, too. I’m just worried about what Lister might say.”

“So I take it that you didn’t discuss this?”

“No way. I don’t even know how to start!” Jimmy exploded in loud whispering. “I should have talked to him a long time ago, but I just didn’t have the balls.”

“I get that, but… just bring it up. Like, theoretically. What if. I think he’s going to support you through it.”

“How could he?”

“What are you even saying at this point?

“You think he would like people sticking their nose in our personal business? I feel like it’s so unfair to him and his privacy… And I feel terrible about still wanting to do it… even though it’s inconsiderate. It’s all a fucking mess.”

“Okay, okay.” Rowan massaged his nose. He looked like he was trying incredibly hard not to snap at Jimmy and be at least somewhat encouraging. “Look, no spoilers, but I am going to say this. Lister absolutely will notbe mad and he will want to talk about the two of you if you give him the chance. That is all.”

“Wait, what? Ro, did he tell you something?”

“I am not talking!”

“Is that how you treat your best friend in a life crisis?!”

“You’re putting me in a life crisis, don’t you dare play the pity card! I swear, the two of you are a nightmare.”

“Rowan! Come back!”

LISTER

His visit to Rowan’s place was very brief, but it was enough for him to understand Rowan’s concerns. Eventually.

Lister explained that it didn’t feel appropriate for him to just whip out a ring in a restaurant: Jimmy was his love, his dream boy, as cliché as it sounded, and he wanted to do something that would measure up to all he was feeling. Which was… well, a whole lot. Like a “get down on one knee in front of thousands of people” lot.

And yet.

“It’s all great, and I’m sure there are people in the world that would love it, but we are talking about Jimmy.”

“Come on. I know, he’s private about… well, everything, but…”

“That, yes,” Rowan pointed at him while holding a can of coke, “but don’t you think this proposal on stage would be an anxiety-inducing situation? Because to me, that sounds like a lot of pressure and nerves.”

“He hasn’t had attacks since we moved and he went on those meds.”

“That doesn’t really –“

“Matter. Yeah. Yeah, I get your point, mate, he would die of shock. And everybody watching him. Fuck, I’m stupid.”

“No, you’re not,” Rowan grinned. “The two of you are just different… in some aspects. I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

Will I? Lister asked himself as he was driving back to the hotel that Jimmy and him were staying at for the time being. This was the only thing I came up with, like, ever.

When he swept his key card over the sensor and the door to their suite opened, he was greeted by the smell of dinner. He took a look into their little kitchen and found his boyfriend sitting at the table with his laptop. He didn’t notice him for a second, so Lister came up behind him and hugged him tightly.

Jimmy yelped.

“Where’s the food?!” Lister shook him a little, imitating Batman.

“Your hands are so cold!” Jimmy protested, but there was a trace of laughter in his voice. “On the stove, you bully!”

Lister almost flew over there, looking under the lid on the pot.

“Pasta,” Jimmy shrugged. “I needed my comfort food, so that’s that for you.” Lister smiled and thanked him, because yes, he was starving. Pasta was Jimmy’s go-to meal to cook, as it was quick to make and he was a pasta-sauce prodigy.

While his dinner was heating up in the microwave, Jimmy made small-talk about the supposed unused lyrics Rowan and him exchanged. Lister found it hard to lie to him, so he just turned to playful teasing, telling Jimmy to stop sniffing around, he’ll hear it when the time comes.

“Oh come on,” Jimmy huffed. “I’m just asking! And it’s my show, too. Spill it.”

“Sorry. Totally gonna steal your spotlight.”

“Lister, just tell me what it is.”

“A song.”

“What song?”

“A song that you have to wait for.”

“Babe, what song?!”

Lister took him by the waist and pulled him against his body. “Are you trying to ‘babe’ me into telling you right now? Is that what’s happening? Right in front of my pasta?” He went in for a kiss, and Jimmy tried to murmur something against his lips… but then he gave up. They leaned into each other and kept kissing until Lister pulled away to open the microwave. He got himself a fork and went to sit down after the long day, but Jimmy stayed there, right next to the sink. Looking a bit like he was going to hurl.

Before Lister could ask if he’s okay, Jimmy sat down on the other chair with a determined look on his face.

“There is something I need to discuss!” he blurted out.

Lister cautiously dropped the fork back into the bowl. “Okay…? And it’s something to do with me, yeah?”

“Yep. A lot to do with you.” He was visibly nervous. He clasped his hands together, as if Lister would have not noticed. “I… I was thinking about this one thing, and I need your opinion about it.”

“Cool. Go for it.”

“It’s about our relationship.”

“Are you aware you sound very sinister right now?”

He wildly shook his hands as if he wanted to dry them off. “Sorry, didn’t mean to,” he apologized in a strained voice. Then he cleared his throat, sharply lifted his eyes towards Lister’s and exclaimed, “I would like to reveal that we’re together.”

Lister felt everything about his face go lax in shock. He opened his eyes round and wide, his mouth followed, and Jimmy looked like he would faint.

“I, er. I just. I thought about it and I think it’s a decent idea and – please say something, Lister, before I get a fucking heart attack right now.”

It must have been so hard for him to speak up. Lister thought of his proposal plans and felt his mouth slowly form a smile. “I think it’s… brilliant! Yes, I would really like to do that!”

“Wait, really?”

“This is – I didn’t think you would want to, when did you change your mind?”

Jimmy shrugged, grinning in a sheepish way that made him look much younger. And cuter. “I thought I just… wanted to be open about this part of my life. Figured it’s time to say we are together. But if you, like, don’t feel like it, then…”

Lister beamed. “I feel like it. If you do, I do, trust me.” He walked around the table and lifted Jimmy into a hug. He laughed, relieved.

This was when it dawned on Lister… it was not such an easy matter. Exciting, yes, but it would gather all kinds of attention. He leaned onto the table, grabbed his dinner and him and Jimmy started talking about the situation it would put them in. If both are truly okay with it, how much would they reveal, when is the best time to do it. They kept talking through the bathroom door and while they were changing into pajamas in their bedroom.

As they were laying down and Lister gestured Jimmy to crawl into his arms, they became quieter. “You know why I also want to say it?” Jimmy mumbled, lying on the soft linen with one eye open.

“I’m all ears.”

“If I have to see one more article about which model or actress you’re screwing, I’m gonna lose the remaining marbles that I have.” Lister started chuckling as Jimmy awkwardly added, “Which is, admittedly, not many. Most have been lost in my youth.”

“Oh no,” Lister laughed and turned Jimmy’s face upwards to his. “So this just in: my boyfriend is possessive. Fancy that.”

“I’m not, it’s… I am… Oh, you hated Jowan, stop being smug.”

“I know I did, we both know. But jealous Jimmy? That’s a rare sight.”

“It’s just super uncomfortable. It’s all women, as well.”

“Heteronormativity is a bitch,” Lister nodded. He snuggled closer and let out a breath, “Don’t worry though. I am exclusively your problem.”

Jimmy kissed him, smiling. Lister felt lightheaded. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against Jimmy’s. He loved this – he loved how much he felt for him after so long they have been together. It never ceased or faded away… because it was Jimmy.

Lister was pretty sure he would love him until his last day on Earth.

It was time to start looking for a ring.

JIMMY

Not much later, they had a team meeting scheduled with all the important people at their recording company that were involved with their tour. Jimmy and Lister announced their intention to come out during the tour, and with Rowan’s full support, it wasn’t too hard to win the producers over. Jimmy had anticipated the PR people would deem it overly risky to their image, but they were fairly chill. As Rowan had put it, “As if anything about The Ark was ever about pandering to conservatives.”

They agreed that their demographic is absolutely different, and before they knew it, they were being ignored while people were exchanging speculations about how it all could help them promote the tour.

“If they do it on, like, the second show…”

“…we could sell some extra tickets after… another wave…”

“…that would probably be a good time to release a single, something related to…”

Jimmy felt something in his chest sink. This is why they left. These people took something good, something from their hearts and souls, and wanted to turn it into money. Some part of him understood, that’s how business works, but mostly, he just felt really sad for them.

“Oi!” Lister exploded over the chatter. “Sorry, but we are still here, and – Could you maybe not act like this coming out is a marketing tactic?!”

The room went briefly silent.

Jimmy squeezed his hand under the table to say a silent thanks. Then he choked out, “That’s not why we’re doing it!”

Their producer looked at them over the top of her reading glasses.

“Of course it’s not, love,” she cooed. “But to say it bluntly, I think you need all the help you can get.”

After many weeks and many briefings, they had agreed on making the announcement on the third show. Right in the middle of tour. Everybody was nervous, expectant, but there was this air of hopefulness when Jimmy and Lister ended up alone together. The glimmer in his partner’s eye when their eyes met promised something… no, it was not living absolutely openly, they still wanted privacy. But it felt like they were sealing something.

This was not an easy coming out.

But they were in for it. Together.

LISTER

“Just so I know,” Rowan said as Lister was trying to take off his Doc Martens with all his might, “what did you tell Jimmy this time?”

“We’re still working on music.”

“We should really make something then, before you go. I am not gonna lie to my childhood best friend, y’know.”

Finally, the boot came off, and Lister got off the little cabinet in Rowan’s hall. Abby was already making tea, and when she saw him walk by the kitchen door, she just nodded at him. Lister smirked at her; she loved pretending to still be mad at him for taking Rowan to a strip club on his stag night. (Or was it dancing on the table at the wedding reception? Anyhow.)

Rowan sat him down in the lounge and started the conversation with: “So. The big reveal is getting closer. How are we feeling?”

“I – great, good. I’m fine, and Jimmy seems to be fine, so yeah, we’re fine.”

“But I assume that’s not what you need help with?”

“You assume right. I will need you to bear with me, though.”

“That sounds interesting,” Rowan retorted and flashed a smile at Abby who was bringing them two steaming mugs of earl gray. “And when I say interesting I mean impending doom, why thank you, Abby!”

“No problem.” She slowly leaned over, careful not to lose balance with her belly, and kissed him on the forehead. “I’ll be off for my swimming class then. You two behave, will you.”

As she was making her way to the hall, Lister jokingly remarked, “No goodbye kiss for me?”

She stopped in the middle of the room and exchanged a glance with Rowan. Rowan, stirring his tea with a teaspoon, said, “Please don’t kill him, I need him for the concert.”

“Come on, you guys, I was fully kidding. Goodbye, Abby,” he waved to her with a bright smile. “Enjoy your swimming stuff!”

“Thank you, will do.” She disappeared.

“Just a question!” he called after her. She came back with an eyeroll. “Is it, like, harder to swim when you are pregnant? Like, I don’t mean to insult you or anything, I’m just genuinely wondering.”

She, too, put aside her snarky façade for a second. “Actually, I go there because it’s relieving. The water makes you float, so the weight of the baby is taken off my back and legs for a little while.”

“Oh! That’s clever.”

“Thank you. The more you know, am I right?”

“You know what I was just thinking of?”

“Yeah? I really have to go.”

“When you’re swimming, you’re a human submarine for the baby.”

It seemed to take Abby a minute to realize what he was saying. Very slowly, she brought her palm to her forehead.

Rowan then didn’t make it much better by adding, “Since when does a submarine have water inside? That would defeat the purpose.”

Lister thought about it and then gasped. “So… right now, you are a reverse human submarine!”

Abby looked at them both, clearly lost for words. “I’ll just go…” She closed the lounge door behind her.

After a good ten minutes of Rowan half laughing and half chastising Lister for saying the things he says, Lister threw his hands up in the air and claimed they seem to have “traded their sense of humour for a marriage certificate” two years ago.

Rowan immediately followed: “Speaking of marriage, any updates on that? You and…?”

“Well, my friend, that is precisely what we need to talk about today.”

“Okay. The meeting is officially in session, go.”

“First: am I the only one that was really surprised by Jimmy wanting to make us public? Because I really didn’t expect that at all.”

“Yeah, I guess he’s still full of surprises, huh?”

“That he is. However, Ro, I was thinking, and I still want to do a proposal. No – let me finish, it’s not that straightforward. I spent a lot of time talking to Jimmy about what he wants and how he sees the future, and you were super right in saying that I should never put him on the spot like that. Being so exposed to the public when we were kids messed with us in a big way, all of us.”

Rowan snapped his fingers in agreement.

“The idea is… It would be a proposal before a proposal. Like… I don’t know, announcing that I have the intention of proposing to him soon. And asking him if he is okay with that, you know? If he’s okay with the idea of saying yes. That way,” Lister gesticulated with his hands, “he’s not forced right there to say yes, the eventual real proposal can be sort of expected, which would calm him down a bit, but still a surprise, because when is it going to happen? I’m not saying.”

Rowan stared at him for about three seconds. “That was… a whole thing, buddy.”

“Thoughts?”

“I’m just trying to wrap my head around this. Wait. You want to do a proposal before the actual proposal.”

“Yes.”

“On stage. At the same time you are announcing that the two of you are together?”

“No! I mean, I don’t think so. I thought like, more at the end, maybe.”

“Proposal before a proposal…”

“It’s clever, if you think about it.”

“To me, it just seems very extra, Lister. Which I know is your trademark, but –”

“No, but listen. I want to propose to Jimmy. He wouldn’t survive a big flashy proposal, but I still want to make it a big deal, because it is. Ergo, I announce that I want to spend the rest of my stupid little life with him and ask him if it is okay to propose to him one day, likely soon.”

Rowan’ expression changed. “That does make sense,” he said. “For the two of you, especially.”

“Okay then: dear dad, do I have your blessing?”

“Never call me that again. But yes.”

“You are the closest to being a father out of all of us.”

“That is not what it sounds like and you know it.”

JIMMY

The first show was an explosion of feeling and memories. Nauseous with anxiety, burdened with expectation and weak in the knees, Jimmy ran into his first appearance on the stage the same way he would run into the middle of the highway. The lights and screams and colours almost blew him to pieces and then glued him back together. His first words addressed to the crowd and the earth-shattering screams that came in answer woke something in him, a force of nature. The gig was rather small compared to those they ended on ten years ago, but the crowd loved them to pieces and oh, he felt so alive.

The second show was slightly bigger, yes, and their fans didn’t disappoint. Plenty of pride flags were chucked at him, and he waved them and gave them to his mates and it made him even more excited about what him and Lister were going to do the next time round. These people stayed with them for so long, this sea of faces that looked toward him… for many of them, he would be the representation they need, again.

He remembered being a young trans boy, questioning if there is a life, a future, for him. Where were all the queer adults? The trans adults? How could he imagine adult life if he had never seen someone like him live it?

There he was, now. Adult. Gay. Transgender. A lot of time, he still knew very little about what he was doing, but he had a boyfriend who knew equally little, and together, they might be just what some queer kid in the crowd yearns to see.

LISTER

It was D-Day. Christ and Mary, it was, and they were going to say it. Finally. The staff have been informed, the security has been strengthened, they did everything so that some fan wouldn’t try and knock them the fuck out…, but he was still incredibly nervous. Minutes before the show, among all the rush and flourish, he caught Jimmy and pulled him to the side, apologizing to a couple of sound guys securing some cables on the ground.

“How are you doing?” he blurted out.

“I’ll die, but maybe in a good way. You?”

“Same. Or I’ll throw up, in a bad way.”

“Wait really?”

“No, I’m sick, but not the vomiting kind.”

“Anxiety! Welcome to the club!” Jimmy shouted as he was being ushered away under the stage so he could come up on a platform.

More pushing, more ushering, and he stood next to Rowan.

Their intro – a dramatic organ solo as light flashed through the artificial fog like sunbeams – was rumbling all around them. The crowd was losing their minds. He didn’t know how, but he still heard Rowan whisper:

“Lister, promise me you won’t do the other thing today!”

“Told you I won’t, stop being patronizing!” he snapped back, but then it was their time, and they were on a stage, coming up from behind Jimmy, each on every side, acting astonished as they supposedly came down from Noah’s Ark onto new land.

Listed dared to put his hand on Jimmy’s shoulder as they did so.

The show was on.

Here we go.

JIMMY

During the concert, he used every opportunity to interact with the audience that he had. It felt a bit manipulative at first – he wanted them to be up for a bit of talking, eventually – but then the feeling of guilt faded away. However complicated his relationship with the fans used to be, these people were the fans. They stayed loyal to them, they kept their music in their hearts, and came to this revival gig…

It would be okay, okay, okay.

When the last accords of the last song whizzed away into the night and he was thanking the crowd that stomped and cheered and waved signs in hope of an encore… he stopped at the front of the stage. Rowan strummed a few last cords on the guitar and fell silent.

He wished he had somewhere to sit down. His legs were shaking.

But he was not afraid. Not really.

“Now, you guys, these shows are very special for us. Because every single one of you, as we’re standing here and looking at each other, you have been waiting for so long…” His voice was drowned out by cheers. “For so long, you have not forgotten us, you came to our shows, you have been amazingly supportive, and I want to thank you, from the bottom of my heart!” He shouted the last few words as the sea of faces roared in joy.

When they calmed down again, he continued. “And because you are the ones that stuck with us… because of that, I would like to say a few things to you.

If you know about the days of my youth…” Pause as people laughed and shouted affirmations at him. “…you would probably remember that I was presumed to be in a relationship with a person that is standing on the stage with me, right now.”

It was good that only a few people cheered. But it made him sick to the stomach, still.

“Okay, no,” Rowan came in, and people applauded, and he pointed at them with a not-so-fake scolding look, “no, no, don’t you woo at me, young lady. This is so utterly not a thing! Jimmy has never left the friendzone!”

“Same here,” Jimmy laughed and patted Rowan across the back, maybe a little too hard, overcompensating. “Did you all, like, miss that Rowan came out as straight all those years ago?”

People were laughing. Nobody really cared, they just found it funny. Rowan claimed he was leaving it to Jimmy before “the PR team has me taken out”, and retreated a few steps, leaving Jimmy to face the crowd again.

Deep breaths, he told himself.

“What I wanted to say was that there was one thing that those people back then got right.” Breathe in, breathe out. “I am gay.”

Two seconds of silence and then an absolute thunderstorm of an applause. A rainbow pride flag landed at his feet and Jimmy took it, with meek laughter, and put it around his shoulders. He heard Rowan cheer and clap too, and for what felt like years, he couldn’t get a word in. He wished the whole world could be like this.

“I – gosh, thank you all, I’m not sure whether it was a surprise,” he finally managed to say, his voice breaking a little from surprise, “but yeah. I am a trans, gay man…” The hall exploded with joyous noise. “…and it’s not all that there is to me, but I’m here. And queer. Hello.”

He thought he was going to pass out. He had a clever segway prepared, but he couldn’t remember a word of it. This was the moment. He wanted to say it, but at the same time… How could he? It was so hard, why do things have to be so hard?

“The other… the second thing,” he said, gripping the pride flag. “It is that… wow, it’s hard. It’s that I am…” He felt himself turn around, and like a lost child call: “Lister?”

Lister climbed out from behind the drum set instantly. Nobody cheered, there were only confused whispers. Jimmy looked at him, asking for help without words, and he knew, as he always did. Jimmy found a place to look, above the crowd, beyond everything, as Lister stepped in and slowly took his hand.

“The second thing is that we are together,” Lister said, his voice steady.

And the crowd lost it.

There were people wailing in happy tears. Screaming at the top of their lungs. A dissonance of chanting their names, all at a different rhythm, before Rowan ran up to them and hugged them and spurred the crowd on, and they stood there wrapped in a pride flag, and Jimmy was kind of crying and leaning on Lister, and it was another half an hour of a pure mess, before they really left the stage with their ears buzzing and eyes wide.

Jimmy and Lister tumbled into a corner somewhere, and Jimmy had happy tears streaming down his cheeks and they were kissing and holding each other and shaking.

“Oh, I’m such a mess,” Jimmy laughed as he was smearing tears and foundation on his sleeve.

“And I love you so much,” Lister blurted out in a moment of raw honesty.

“Me too,” Jimmy took one of his hands and kissed the palm. “I love you so fucking much it’s unreal sometimes.”

LISTER

This was, hands down, the most jittery Lister got before a show. Ever.

Currently, he found himself sat at an old sofa in the dressing room, hands clasped and both legs involuntarily jumping up and down. Was it annoying? Likely. But he had to let his knees jump in such a vigorous way because if he hadn’t, his teeth might start clattering.

He hated that he couldn’t just be pumped and excited. He had to feel this unsettling, buzzing mess of an emotion. Anxiety, as Jimmy informed him. This is what it’s like for an anxious person, he said… except make it all the time and often for no real reason.

Lister shook his head a little.

His reason, too, was basically nothing. He knew. As if Jimmy would actually reject him or something…

Or would he?

Maybe he could? Oh God, maybe he could…

“Hey! You’re actually scaring me, what’s up with you?!”

Lister blinked in confusion. He saw Jimmy as he was making his way over. A half scolding, half worried look decorated his face.

He lowered his voice when he added: “The last time I saw you like this was when you had withdrawal symptoms. You can tell me if that’s what it is.”

“It’s not that. I’m fine,” Lister insisted. Crap, he was panicking too hard to actually come up with anything convincing. Come on, Bird, focus… He’s onto you…

“Actually,” Rowan’s voice travelled to them from the corner, “I just think we had weird coffee.”

“What? But you’re fine.”

“Yeah, well,” Rowan continued to make up a story, “we both got one, but I didn’t like the taste, it was too strong. Lister felt bad for throwing them out so he finished both of them, didn’t you?”

“Ye-Yes,” he finally caught on. Had to admit, Ro was impressive at this. Lister started to believe what their friend used to say: that he can lie very well, he just chooses not to. “I didn’t want to waste it. The coffee.”

“Lister,” Jimmy grunted in disbelief, hands on his hips. “That was a brilliant idea, you walnut! Look at yourself, you’re gonna be sick now!”

“I’m not.”

“You look it.”

“I’m just…” He rubbed his clammy hands together. “I’m just anxious I guess.”

“Well, no shit. Why do you think I avoid caffeine?” Jimmy sighed and dropped into a squat in front of Lister. He took Lister’s hands in his. “Seriously, are you okay? You’re not gonna have a heart attack, are you?”

“No, babe. I’m alright.” The last thing he wanted was for his boyfriend to be anxious too.

He looked down at Jimmy. The realization dawned on him, as he noticed that his partner dropped onto one of his knees to be more comfortable; very soon, the roles will be reversed. It will be Lister down on one knee, only Jimmy would be standing up in that case…

Okay.

Wow.

This is what true internal screaming felt like.

“You need water, as in now,” Jimmy decided and jumped up. “I’ll need you to drink at least three glasses before we start, that should help.”

He rushed out of the room to get hands on some water. Rowan and Lister looked at each other, the pretence gone.

“Alright?” Rowan nodded.

“I’m fucking choking, dude,” Lister replied.

It almost looked as if his friend was going to give him advice, or maybe say something generic and calming… but instead, Rowan let out a small laugh. Lister’s lips started twisting without him giving the command.

And then the two collapsed laughing. The pressure of this being the very last show and the knowledge of what Lister was about to do at the end of it were just the right recipe for hysterics.

Jimmy didn’t bother to ask twice what the joke was, as long as they promised they weren’t laughing at him.

-----------------------------------

As the concert was coming to an end and the crowd was cheering and chanting for an encore, Rowan seized the opportunity and called: “Alright, friends, we would like to indulge you in a little experiment! Can you join me at the front, Lister?”

Lister got out from behind the drum set and jogged to meet the rest of the group. Jimmy smiled, but his eyes studied both of them suspiciously. “What is this?”

Lister lazily raised his arms with the palms of his hands towards the crowd. “I have to admit, we kind of didn’t tell Jimmy what this is about. Sorry, my guy.” People laughed. Rowan signalled someone backstage, as Lister added: “But just so you don’t feel left out, you can have this triangle.” A nervous assistant handed Jimmy the instrument and ran off again.

Everybody was jeering and whistling, but there was an air of anticipation in the air.

“Oh wow, that’s generous of you,” Jimmy grimaced.

“I know, right? Anyhow.” Lister took a step forward, trying to calm himself. He could do this. He had acting jobs, he could absolutely pull this off.

He was Lister freaking Bird! He was the fan favourite!

“Dear audience, allow me to tell you a tale,” he addressed the crowd in his best narrator voice. A couple of screams rose from the crowd, but everyone else was listening intently. Behind him, Rowan started strumming a little melody on his guitar – one they created especially as a backdrop to Lister’s talk.

“I know this is a little unusual,” Lister admitted to the sea of people, “I know that you’re used to stories coming to you via this man’s voice,” he pointed at Jimmy, “and this man’s lyrics.” Rowan. “I know that I am just a simple drummer in this arrangement. But today, I will do the voice and the words. Because, well… Talking all the time is the one thing I am actually good at.”

That made the crowd laugh. Good. Great.

“But now, on with the story!” he exclaimed and made a motion with his hands as if he was showing them a canvas.

“Picture this. We are all fifteen, stuffed into a tiny studio in London,” he smiled, as if nostalgic. His voice flowed out of him in a steady melody, like the hum of a river. “We all had that awkward long hair phase – yes, I see some true veterans in the audience today. Good,” he smiled at a couple of girls in the front who seemed to know exactly which haircuts he meant. He raised his hands again. “I am sitting outside the recording room, behind the glass. On the other side, there’s Jimmy. I can see him clearly, I hope you can too,” he said, keeping his dreamy smile. “The giant black hoodie. The fringe almost hiding his eyes. Jimmy waits for the cue, bouncing up and down,” he chuckled as he swayed up and down on his toes, “and then starts singing the interlude in our first album. It’s only about two lines that we need to record, but I remember wishing it lasted longer. Obviously. Because his voice is amazing.”

The audience started yelling and swooning at once. Lister was honestly more okay looking at them than if he had to look at Jimmy and see what his reaction is.

Now, here comes the real cliché.

“But then,” he paused with real embarrassment in his voice, “then he looked up from under his hair… at me, with those big brown eyes… and asked me, if he was okay.”

Breathe in, and:

“My friends, that was the moment I have fallen for Jimmy Kaga-Ricci.”

A roar of screams started rising from the audience, when Rowan strummed dramatically on the guitar, as if something tragic had happened. Lister shot a look at Jimmy and found him laughing. Surprised, but amused.

Thank fuck. I’ve never told him that before.

On the outside, he theatrically turned to Rowan and scolded him: “I was just getting sentimental here?”

Rowan shrugged and strummed a more positive jingle. Everyone laughed and clapped. Lister was starting to enjoy this, actually. He sighed and walked forward onto a prolonged platform where Jimmy was usually stood on.

“Well, maybe my trusty assistant was right with the sound effects,” he admitted jovially. “Because my crush absolutely did not like me back for years. Hey, but that’s not to throw shade at the guy,” he added quickly to prevent any pitiful reaction that would make Jimmy feel bad. “Because you have to consider that I was and still am a bloody mess of a person.” That amused the listeners. Lister turned round, as he exclaimed. “I am the creator of problems, the maker of terrible decisions. We can all agree that Jimmy is a lovely lad…” He had to pause for the overwhelming reaction in support of that statement. “Yes, he is, but inflicting my teenage self upon him, that would just not be right.”

Jimmy suddenly clanked the metal stick against the triangle in an absolute cacophony to draw attention to himself. “Excuse me,” he called to Lister, “could you stop insulting yourself? I would enjoy that.”

A girl somewhere below them screamed as if she was getting murdered. They exchanged a quick glance, as if to say a little yikes, but then Lister laughed it off.

“Sorry, sorry,” he continued. “Through it all, Jimmy was always here for me. He was one of my first real friends. He was understanding when I needed it most, and ready to kick my ass when I needed it most.” He smiled at his boyfriend and hoped his voice is not shaking. “Look at you, Jimmy! I’m being embarrassing in front of hundreds of people and you still haven’t walked off stage.”

Jimmy laughed and lightly hit the triangle. He was ever the professional, but his eyes glimmered in curiosity. Expectation.

Lister kept looking at him. Rowan was strumming a slightly different melody now, and if Lister did say so himself, the atmosphere was fucking perfect.

“What I want to say is…, I feel that we were together before we got together. We were always partners. A great team. Maybe you wouldn’t think the same,” he admitted to Jimmy, “but a girl can dream. Oh! A rhyme!” He exclaimed to a symphony of awwws and ooohs. People were laughing again, clapping here and there. “That will be the only time!” Lister made a face of feigned shock. “Or not? Wow, I’m unpredictable!”

“You’re hot,” Jimmy rhymed with unexpected confidence.

The crowd was screaming their heads off at this interaction. Even Lister was a little flustered. He came back to his bandmates and gestured toward Jimmy, who was still smirking a little. “And he can improv, what’s not to like, honestly!”

Now, there came the challenge. Lister took a deep breath and prayed to all deities that were listening for this to come off as more sweet than cringy.

His voice fell into a different rhythm. One he kept studying every possible minute from any good slam poetry or original poem reading he could find online.

“But now, if our audience permits,” he put one hand on his chest, turning directly to Jimmy, “I would like to address you. Because, dear Jimmy, although I love each face in the crowd, my friends, my family, those that are both… I can state loud and proud that the biggest part of my heart goes to you.” He grinned sheepishly at Jimmy’s stunned expression, when he added: “If not all of it.”

“I can only guess what goes on in that mind, whether you think this is suspicious or kind… I can’t know these things. But there is one thing I do know. That no matter how much we grow, what we lose and what we gain, through all the smiles and all the pain, I will love you. It’s as big and as small as this. And today was an opportunity I couldn’t miss. So, nobody panic, stay in your seats. It’s not what it looks like.”

He got down on one knee in front of his boyfriend.

Jimmy gasped in sync with the audience: “Lister!” He backed away.

“Oh no, mister, don’t panic,” Lister retorted. That managed to amuse Jimmy a little – that he would know this would be the reaction. The audience was still going absolutely wild. Another pride flag just about missed Lister’s left ear.

“As I said, it’s not what it looks like. And I’m sick of rhyming by now, so…” He reached for Jimmy’s hand. Pulled it down to his by the triangle and encouragingly pressed a thumb into his palm. “I wanted to tell you – in a way that means something – that I don’t see myself living my life with anyone but you. So I have a question. Can you imagine me proposing in the near future?”

Jimmy looked like he suddenly couldn’t speak any human language. The only thing that came from his open lips was: “Huh?”

He was trying not to panic. To explain it well. Better than he had to Rowan.

“I would like to start talking about marriage. With you. I’m asking your permission to… go pick out a ring, perhaps. And propose to you. One day.”

“You want to…” He was trying so hard to make sense of this situation. Lister could almost hear the wheels in his brain clanking and whirring. After a second, Jimmy blurted out about the last thing Lister expected. “You really want to marry me?”

He had to laugh. That sounded so bizarre! You have the wrong number, I don’t think you want to marry me, of all people. As if.

Covering Jimmy’s hand with both of his own, he answered: “Who else, Jimmy?”

As there was no instant reply, Lister felt the audience grow impatient.

This was the time to smooth things out. Make it amusing.

“Okay, I don’t want to stress you out. You can just think about it,” he ensured his partner. But I just wanted to let you know my, er, intentions.” Wow, great choice of words, Bird. But was there any better? He decided to make fun of himself a little when he sarcastically added: “Because this is the regency era, apparently.”

People were losing it. However, Lister was only looking at Jimmy now… and realized that the eyes of his boyfriend were welling up with tears as he looked down. Were they happy or sad tears? Shit.

“Oh…” Lister managed to say, when Jimmy dropped the triangle on the floor with a thud and shakily took Lister’s face into his soft palms.

His voice was trembling with emotion, as he answered:

“Allister Bird, I would love to marry you. I don’t think you even need to propose again.”

Before Lister could even register what he meant, Jimmy leaned down and gently pressed a kiss at his forehead. This was probably as close to kissing in public as Jimmy would ever allow.

Lister finally realized. He realized.

At the same time, Jimmy dropped down and Lister shot up. They embraced each other tightly, a mess of crumpled clothes and limbs and teary laughing, and Lister almost lifted Jimmy off the ground as he was happy-crying into the shorter man’s shoulder.

They heard Rowan screaming at the top of his lungs: “HE SAID YES, PEOPLE!” His voice was drowned out by the massive storm of excited screams that wouldn’t seize for good twenty minutes after.

But Lister and Jimmy didn’t really pay attention.

Paradoxically, although everyone could see them – and everyone would see them, as the news probably already travelled through the internet at the speed of light – it felt like this moment was theirs alone.

[frostyreturns]

Frosty Ruins The Power Rangers Movie

No matter how long the Power Rangers franchise carries on it will always be a uniquely 90's phenomenon to me. There's just something about it that screams I was born of the 90's. The movie's opening was a prime example of what I mean, it opens with skydiving...it's not the 90's without some "extreme" angle. What does skydiving have to do with the plot or with the power rangers to make it a good intro to the movie....shut up it’s EXTREME!

I never really watched the show when I was younger though I was always aware of it. To be honest I liked the toys more than the show and power rangers were always the toys that were easy to get second hand, because so many people bought them, back then it was everywhere. So there’s some nostalgia here for me that probably makes this movie either not seem as bad as it is...or makes it seem more disappointing then it is....maybe both.

As an adult I watched what I think was the entire run of the original Mighty Morphin Power Rangers show and while the acting may be terrible,the choreography may be ridiculous and the plot may be flimsier and cheesier than a slice of havarti...but dammit there's just something about armor wearing ninjas, giant transforming robots and big ugly monsters all fighting that appeals to something in so many people. It might be the wonder of an inner child, it might be autism...or it might be a little of both but either way it's just one of those things you love despite how stupid it is.

Speaking of stupid, did anyone ever think Bulk and Skull were funny? Or was that aspect of the show simply thrust on innocent unsuspecting children everywhere who had to just sit there and take the unrelenting cringe. Thankfully they were not prominent in this movie.

One thing I hate about movie tie ins with shows is I never know if I'll know what's going on without watching the show, and if I am watching the show I never know when in the chronology of episodes to put the movie. Like for example if you were still watching the first season of power rangers and you put in this movie you would be wondering why the black ranger is white and why the yellow ranger is black. But hey at least Amy Jo Johnson was still the pink ranger.

I do like that there isn't a lengthy origin, but more than a brief written blurb at the start would have been good. Could have made it a more of a self contained movie and established some of the characters to an audience who either has never seen Power Rangers before...or has not just recently watched the tv series. I don’t remember who a lot of these people are.

The thing that always bothered me in power rangers was that it was never clear what their powers really were, like they would kick a monster and there would be an explosion? and there was never a relative measure of their strength, Are they strong like Batman is strong...or are they strong like Superman is strong? If a tengu punched a normal person would they fall over or get turned into a pink mist? Or are they just teenagers with armor and weapons? Do they need to be in their armor to have their powers? If so am I to believe that a bunch of normal teenagers are able to defeat a bunch of big monsters anytime they get into fights where they don't have their suit and power?

Speaking of don't have their suits, the biggest complaint I have from this movie is the abandonment of pretty much all the coolest parts from the tv show. The movie employs a trope I'm so sick of and have never liked...the one where the heroes lose their power and have to go on some sort of journey to get it back. It's likely just a cost saving strategy or an actor vanity thing where they want their face seen, but me and kids especially did not come to see Billy who even for power rangers is just awful, they came to see the blue ranger. And then even when they get their powers back their new outfits are just these cloth ninja outfits and they get new spirit animals or fursonas or whatever the fuck. The one guy even points out how lame it is that instead of the cool dinosaur themed zord his is now a frog. The original outfits you could believe had some power in them, because at least they were armor. It's harder to believe when the outfits look like halloween ninja costumes.Then when they get their original armor back it makes even less sense because the armor is styled after the previous zords. So he's got mastadon horns on his helmet but he's in a robo frog.

The best part of power rangers was the Japanese footage and this not only doesn't have it...but they cheaped out on doing their own thing. The things they did spend the money on were stupid...like the cgi on those big robo bug things. I've seen this movie twice and both times I forgot totally that they were even in the movie. The shitty 90's cgi aged a lot more poorly than the Japanese footage. Honestly would have been better with the practical effects. Also by this point it’s getting harder and harder to buy that these are teenagers. Tommy looks like he’s 35.

It's a franchise where deus ex machina takes on a new meaning because the god in the machine ends up literally being a bunch of machines that appear from the sky. It's a story where all is hopeless...but if you believe hard enough in yourself you get your power back and everything goes back to normal. The plot is terrible but all of these thigns can be forgiven if the movie is just fun and at times it is...there are some decent fight scenes and some decent action and that's enough for kids...not to make this a timeless classic but to make it a fun one time watch. Certainly better than the abortion that was the reboot attempt.

That’s what I’m finding as I live in a time where so many are living in the past and what is new is just an attempt to rewrite the past...Things we thought sucked are redeemed by simple comparison to how fucked and terrible media has become. Time+retards has Rose Tico making Jar Jar Binks look like cinematic genius. And it makes this trainwreck look like fun.