#the persistence of love and hope and care being important in survival

[beggars-opera]

Hey, so we don't talk enough about A Christmas Carol as being at least a little bit about not continuing a cycle of abuse and neglect, both against others and yourself.

In the book little Scrooge is left languishing over the holidays in a boarding school for some never-explained reason, but it is made very clear that this is miserable and unfair, and that his father is doing this on purpose. His sister specifically comes to tell him that "father is so much kinder now than he used to be, that home's like heaven." This also reflects a bit of Dickens's own childhood when his father went into debtor's prison and little Charlie was forced to support his family working full time in a shoe-blacking factory at the age of 12 (which is also why so many of his books seem to have a moral of "hey, kids are people too and maybe we shouldn't make them work in the mines.")

Whatever family reunion happened after didn't work out, because Scrooge continues believing that no one is coming to save him and pulling himself up by his bootstraps at the detriment of all other social relationships is the only way forward. And the more he lives by that philosophy, the more miserable he gets, because obviously he pushes away anyone who has that hope that he lost. They threaten to break down the walls he's built and teach him that a big pile of money doesn't have to be the only thing that he can rely on, if he'd just let himself be vulnerable and have a relationship with people who care about him, because they're out there even if he's ignoring them.

There is a certain type of person still very much out there who thinks this way. "I've never been happy in my life, so no one else has a right to be either. I was abused in my childhood so it's only fair that everyone else suffer as well." We see this in parents who still try to use corporal punishment, and in wealthy people who ignore the social factors keeping others down and scream that everyone else is just entitled, that only those who suffer and scrape deserve happiness. And they especially hate the people like Fred who represent the past that could have been, who have maintained hope for the future, and seem to be rubbing their optimism in your face, when in reality they're just maintaining hope because it's the only way you can survive.

It's so important for Scrooge to actually see the impact this thinking has on both himself and multiple generations. Rich people have this weird hangup about this story because they think Scrooge is bad because he's rich. He's not, he's bad because he's a horrible person and a miser - he doesn't use his money to better anything, including himself. Salting the earth, everyone suffers here, including him. And he learns that he's going to die old and alone without ever having spent or enjoyed his money, and that his family feels sorry for him, and that the nameless masses of poor people out there that he decries so much are in fact living, breathing people, including tiny disabled kids who don't deserve to suffer just because you decided life isn't fair.

In the end he takes responsibility for actually uplifting the people in the next generation who are trying to make the world a better place and no longer punching down, because it doesn't have to be this way. So many people out there just give up hope because things are hard and they think trying to improve things is a pointless exercise that makes them look dumb. How dare you grow a year older and not an hour richer! How dare you marry for love! That's the only thing more ridiculous than a Merry Christmas! When in reality, there are plenty of people who would love to see them happy if they just had a chance.

It's really sad that, while the language used to describe it has changed, these problems still persist. That people feel so wronged and isolated that they spend their days ensuring everyone else will be as well. That they fail to see their fellow humans as fellow humans who are just as deserving of love and kindness and a roof over their heads. I don't care what time of year it is, we should all be lifting each other up rather than tearing each other down.

[koqabear]

Stuck With You

Song suggestion: What Is It About Her?

“Taehyun hates everything about you; your pride, your stubbornness, and the way you plague his thoughts with dangerous desires that threaten to break down his walls.”

king! Taehyun x fem! mage!reader 

Genre: enemies to enemies (but like there’s a twist), royalty!au, angst, smut, fantasy!au

word count: 7.9K

Warnings: Tons of bickering, Taehyun is condescending, jealousy, they literally hate each other, so lots of anger and fighting, mentions of TH being abusive (isn’t actually, nothing happens), manhandling, 

Smut warnings: hard dom!Taehyun, brat!mc, sub(?)!mc, dubcon(?) (omg what), hate sex wahhh, rough sex, manhandling, (again!! There’s a lot) degrading, name calling, (filthy, pathetic), biting, dry humping, binding wrists/hands, marking, knife play, breast play, unprotected sex, mocking, edging, choking, hair pulling, overstimulation, creampie

Notes: Am I incapable of writing a story under 5K? It seems so. I was listening to this damn song the entire time I wrote this and omg I’m so tired of it but it also manages to encapsulate their relationship perfectly. Hope u guys enjoy Taehyun manhandling the shit outta the reader bc for some reason it just kept happening…. I think I need to self reflect for a bit. 

Taehyun has never liked you. 

You’re so fickle, a cocky eyesore that he can never seem to escape from— too smart, too wicked, tongue always sharpened to a point as you never knew when to avert your eyes; when to bow down to your Royal Highness. 

He cannot fathom having to spend his waking days around you— yet, fate seems to punish him in such laughable ways. 

“Your Highness,” he’s forced out of his thoughts as he is called, the title so familiar that the sound of his own name is starting to fade from memory, forced as a young child to take responsibility after his deceased father and become the person he is today. 

His every move is practiced, careful, and familiar as he regards the faceless maid before him, not bothering to turn back around as he continues his morning walk. His robes brush against the warm earth, the wind around him bringing about the early signs of spring as it sings against his skin, cooling him down as the hurried steps of the maid follow before him. 

“The mage is summoning you— I’m afraid it is important; she has summoned the royal court as well… they currently wait for your arrival.”

Taehyun’s steps cease beneath the graveled path. He says nothing, seemingly unaffected by the news as he nods his head slowly. The day was so beautiful, he finds himself thinking, chest heaving with a disappointed sigh as he turns to follow the servant. 

But of course, you had to come along and ruin it. 

✧ ✧

“Your Highness. This is not a joke.” 

Taehyun supposes he’s bad at hiding his expressions, if the way you stare him down with fire in your eyes means anything. The conference room is stuffy with the number of people that send him curious stares, unable to fathom how he could not take the current news seriously. 

“The Southern Kingdom is persistent with their threats of war— they truly believe we are the ones behind the massacre of their villages.” 

“It’s a wonder how a kingdom survived for so long under such a stupid ruler, isn’t it?” Taehyun heeds no warning from your words, sighing as he looks out the window and observes the lovely day before him. “I might go hunting today, what do you think?” 

Your hands that slam down on the wooden table startle everyone but him; you’re standing, eyes narrowed dangerously as you leer at him from the other side of the long, rectangular conference table. 

“I think you’d be stupid to not act on these threats immediately.” You grit out, jaw clenched as you take in the way the King seems to be unbothered by your insults. He simply shrugs, sparing a glance to the head guard before he’s leaning back in his seat, closing his eyes as his hands remain folded neatly in his lap. 

“Yeonjun,” he drawls, peeking at you through lidded eyes as he speaks, “what do you think?” 

He doesn’t miss the way Yeonjun sits up in his seat in surprise, adam’s apple bobbing before he’s clearing his throat, gaze averted as he speaks to his King.

“Your Majesty,” he begins, a hand on his chest as he stares at the dark wood of the table, “I think it is best for us to clear our name. A war during these times would set back our countries drastically.”

Taehyun hums, nodding his head in recognition. “You’re right. I want you and a few of your men to investigate those villages; be discreet, I don’t want you to be traced back to us if you get caught.” 

“Someone arrange a meeting with the Southern Kingdom’s royal mage— I must speak to them, it is urgent. And you,” it is no surprise when Taehyun’s eyes meet yours, pausing to regard your disgruntled state. “Stay. I must speak to you privately.”

There’s nothing you can do but grit your teeth and plant your stance as everyone scatters out of the room— afraid of the King’s anger, of the way his jaw clenches with annoyance. His eyes never leave yours, yet the heat that radiates from his gaze almost burns up the room, everyone’s gazes planted to the ground as they bow meekly to him before they exit. 

It’s just you and him now; Unfortunately, you think, bracing yourself for another scolding from your arrogant King. 

“That was no way to speak to your Ruler.” 

It feels as though you’re on fire; it takes everything within you to compose yourself, fists clenched tightly behind your back as you narrow your eyes at his words. You hate it— you hate him with your whole being. The way he seems to be unbothered, tired eyes fluttering shut as he leans back in his seat, a deep sigh escaping him as his lips part tiredly. 

“My Ruler only pays attention when you scream in his face, it seems,” you seethe, ignoring the way his eyes snap open to give you a cautioning glare, “he’s a very arrogant man.” 

He huffs out a laugh, but there’s no amusement behind it all. Slowly, he stands, his robes fluttering with his movements as he looks down at you angrily— if there’s one thing that will always cloud his mind, it’s his pride. 

This same pride prompts him to walk to you, dangerous and slow, warning you to tuck your tail and apologize; you’ll do no such thing, your gaze only sharpening more with every step he takes closer to you. You’re restless, resisting the urge to lash out again as your tongue sharpens against your teeth; lips screwed tightly together, jaw clenched as you wait for him to do something, anything— hit you, yell at you, dismiss you— but he does none of the sort, coming dangerously close to you as he observes you curiously. 

It’s silent; you’re practically sharing the very air you breathe, both of you waiting for the other to break as you meet his gaze, refusing to look away for even a second. 

Taehyun takes a moment to observe you; your eyes, angry and restless, sharp as they dig into his own. You’re tense, your body practically ready to shake as you keep your jaw clenched, lips pursed together as you hold back another nasty jab directed at him. 

You’re like a puppy; all bark and no bite, unable to truly stand up to him in fear of treason— you need this job, your only source to provide for your family in the far-off village you came from. He could dismiss you, break you, watch as you beg him for forgiveness in fear of putting your family at risk— the idea is dangerously appealing to him, the thought of finally having you at his feet making his lips twitch in amusement.

Taehyun holds your life in his hands, and the realization of it sends a deadly lick of fire through his body. 

“How cute,” he mutters, watching the way your brows twitch in anger at his comment. 

“For a second, I almost let your words get to me.”

The comment does more damage than any other strike ever could— because for a second, Taehyun’s gaze almost softened, the smile that grazed his lips more frightening than any threat he could muster. 

A sharp shiver wracks through you; bitterly, you realize that Taehyun managed to gain the upper hand over you once again.

✧ ✧

The first time he dreams of you, Taehyun is terrified. 

He wakes up in distress, an ache forming between his eyes from the pure confusion and anger that overtakes him. He lets out a shaky sigh as he sits up, sinking back into the soft pillows of his bed; his whole body trembles, disoriented and in denial as he attempts to block out everything his traitorous mind conjoined up.

But it doesn’t work. His day is ruined, his mind flashing images of the scenario that manages to haunt even his waking hours. 

In the morning, he makes his way to the garden; fresh air will do him good, he figures, the cool air and floral scent that drifts through the wind calming his beating heart. But then, his fingers caress the petals of his favorite roses— ruby red, the color stunning to his eyes— and he finds himself touching the velvet of your skin, your bare hips and warm thighs that encase him, alluring and soft as your precious lips are reddened and mischievous; swollen, begging for more as his teeth sink on the soft flesh like he was born to do so. 

He’s quick to exit the garden after that. 

His afternoon isn’t much better, his mood sour after dealing with countless meetings and petty problems— he’s exhausted as he leans back into his throne, a distraught sigh escaping him as allows himself to shut his eyes for just a moment— then he’s back to the dreaded memory of you, cute and pliant as you shift restlessly in his lap; your face flushed, hair and clothes a mess as you weakly beg for him to touch you, to please you. 

The moment his name leaves your lips, whiny and desperate, is the moment he jumps up from his throne. 

Taehyun. 

The sound is so realistic, haunting his mind as the ghost of your whine echoes through his ears; it follows him relentlessly, leaving him in distress as he wonders what a dream like that could possibly mean. 

By the end of the day, Taehyun feels as though he may lose his mind; he’s unable to stay in one place, his mind inevitably wandering back to you if he doesn’t find something that takes away his full attention. He’s a mess by the time he’s wandering the corridors, ready to go back to his room as his eyes land on the last thing he would ever want to see. 

You’re so relaxed, a smile gracing your face as you converse with Hueningkai, one of Captain Yeonjun’s guards, the two of you so close and giddy that Taehyun can’t help but stop and watch. 

He’s never seen you like this; he’s never bothered to either, but something about the way you lean into Hueningkai so closely, unafraid to enter his space as the two of you whisper coyly to each other, is enough to have Taehyun bristle up and walk away. 

The emotion is ugly and dreadful as Taehyun shakes his head, a heavy huff leaving him as he beelines straight to his bed— the same bed where he had you under him, your breaths brushing his skin as you panted desperately for more; the very bed where he kissed you until his lungs burned, pressing you into the bedding until your bodies melded together. 

Angrily, Taehyun resists the urge to abandon his bed and stay in another room; even now, you seem to haunt him ‘till his wit's end. 

✧ ✧

The second time Taehyun dreams of you, he’s more frustrated than terrified. 

He sincerely thought it had all been bad luck; his unfulfilled needs melting with his hatred for you, an unlucky concoction as his mind conjured thoughts unspeakable. It had all been nothing but a fluke he hoped, but as he stares out the window and into the scenery of his land, he can’t help but remember the way he had you pressed up against this very glass, his lips unrelenting against your neck as he whispered words that had you crying and begging for more. 

As he writes to other kingdoms, he finds himself staring at his hands; the same ones that had a bruising grip on your hips, bunching up your garments as he pressed himself firmly against you— he can recall the way you melted under his touch, compliant and needy as you let yourself be ravished by him. 

The you in his dreams doesn’t compare to the one that haunts his waking hours— only, in a much more horrid way, as he finds that his temper with you has decreased into something minuscule. He sees it in the way you tense when he so much as enters the same room as you, the rest of his servants sparing you a pitied glance before they duck their heads before him; afraid, meek, and unsure of what he may do to you or anyone who annoys him. 

But even though his patience with you has withered thin, you still find it in yourself to whip him with such insults and humiliations, unafraid of the consequences as you continue to look Taehyun boldly in the eye. 

He could have you disappear with a snap of his fingers— yet, time has ruthlessly shown him that you’re a more valuable asset than he once thought. No, he can’t get rid of you even if he wanted to— his mage, the best in the land and the only one that could ever manage to put up with him. 

The thought of being stuck with you is vile. 

✧ ✧

By the nth time he dreams of you, Taehyun firmly believes that it is no longer an accident. 

You’re a mage— why didn’t he think of this sooner? The blood in his veins is coursing with fire by the time it all connects, his steps rough and brisk as he makes his way to the place where it all started; the dreadful doors of the meeting room greet him, cracked open to insinuate that someone opened them already. 

You’re scared stiff when the doors slam open; whirling around, you’re left face to face with the very man you’d rather not be left alone with, the doors swinging back shut behind him. You’re nervous, a lump in your throat forming as the fire and anger you always find igniting when you see him dissipates, feeling as though water had been dumped on it. 

That very water manifests itself as Taehyun; there’s something different about him, something serious in the way he stares you down, eerily silent and angry as he storms toward you. You feel a witty remark bubble up in your throat, but you’re forced to push it down as you take in the way he’s teeming with rage, unpredictable and unstable as he makes his way to you.

He towers over you, his robes furling around him as his hand presses firmly to your chest; presses against your heart, nervous and quick as he continues to walk, forcing you to stumble back from the brute strength he possesses— the air is practically knocked out of your lungs from how hard he pushes you against the wall. 

“You did this,” he says, eyes narrowed in distaste as he takes in the way you look up at him in confusion, daring to feign ignorance that only angers him more, “you evil wench, how dare you do this to your King?” 

Your eyes widen at his words; he can feel the way your heartbeat is unrelenting against his palm, your hand swatting him away as you grow defensive. The back of his hand stings from the slap, a fire spreading from the very place you touched him; he can’t help but cradle his hand close to his chest, offended at the way you disrespect him so, even when his warning gaze is searing onto your skin. 

“You speak nonsense,” you spit out, brows knitting together as you look at him with pure offense, “for I have no idea of what you allude to.” 

He can’t help but let out an incredulous laugh; even now that he has you cornered, you dare lie to him— even worse, he’s forced to step back, the images of the nights where he would dream of you flustered and pressed against the wall coming back to the forefront of his mind.

He can’t control himself, the carnal and disgusting thoughts plaguing his mind as rage fills his being; he’s backing away before he does anything drastic, the images flashing through his mind as a rough fist collides onto the table behind him. His eyes are shut tight, teeth gritted together as he seethes, ignoring the way you stand back, pressing yourself against the wall in confusion. 

“This—“ he says, huffing as he opens his eyes, meeting yours before he can help himself— and there you are again, pleading for him to use you until he no longer can— “These cursed thoughts, you did this to me—!” 

He feels weak in the knees as he looks at you, his mind running off to places they shouldn’t as he attempts to ignore the intrusive thoughts; you’re still, unsure of what to do as you watch your majesty slowly lose composure. 

Jumping, you’re reduced to the very person you were when you arrived at the palace; meek, useless, and afraid as he runs to you, grabbing ahold of your shoulders and tossing you around until your hips meet the back of the very table he was once leaning on; he’s leaning you back, your arms forced to support yourself as his fingers dig roughly into your shoulders, towering over you as he scowls menacingly. 

“Undo this,” he says, exasperated and breathy as he becomes reminiscent of the nights when he would toss and turn in bed, forced to confront all of these imaginations that included you, pliant and needy under his touch. His eyes screw shut, teeth gritting together as he refuses to look at you, “undo this wretched spell this instant!” 

His grip is bruising; you yelp at the way he shakes you, never seeing him this desperate and angry as a hand reaches up to push against his chest; but it’s useless, his strength outdoing yours easily as he growls at your weak attempt to run away. 

“I’ve done no such thing—!” 

“Don’t you lie to me!” He’s quick to cut you off, volume raising significantly as the adrenaline begins to course through both your veins, “I know you’ve done this, this disgusting spell that haunts my nights— how dare you attempt such a thing to your king, do you have any idea what you’ve done?!”

“I’ve done nothing!” You scream, a sudden strength aiding you as you push against his chest with both hands, watching as he stumbles back harshly, his back colliding with the wall behind him— the sight is reminiscent of what he did to you moments ago. 

“Have you lost your mind?!” You say, exasperated as you watch his hardened gaze, the way his fists shake with anger at his sides, “I’ve done nothing— yet you accuse me of such— such things that you don’t even dare speak of! 

For a moment, there is only silence and the sound of your panting breaths; you hate the way your hands shake as you grip the edge of the table, gulping harshly as you take in the way he hasn’t moved a single inch. 

“I know you hate me,” you huff, jaw clenching as you pause, regaining your composure before continuing, “but you’ve gone too far. This is low, your highness, even for you.” 

“Low?” Taehyun echoes, disbelief on his face as he finally moves; he steps towards you, watching the way you begin to flee in retaliation, “you speak of being low?”

Predator and prey; you can’t help but feel as though this is all you’ve been reduced to, tense and careful as you make your way back to the door; he follows you, his pace matching yours as he allows you to inch closer to the door. 

“What’s low is the way you haunt my dreams, calling out for me like you’d die if I wasn’t near you,” your heart is thundering in your chest, bewildered by his words as you find yourself right behind the door; you’re frozen, waiting for the moment he’ll let his guard down so you can slip out and run. 

“You, you of all people,” he spits, as though the very words were fire on his tongue, “persistent—almost every night it would happen, haunting even my waking days as I was forced to turn the other way when I saw you in the corridors.” 

You don’t care anymore; it’s reckless, but you bolt for the door, adrenaline pumping through your veins as you reach for the door handle— but Taehyun is faster, a hand clamping on your wrist and tugging you back as he uses you to slam the doors fully shut, the latches clicking as the wood knocks out the air from your lungs. 

Taehyun presses against you; you’re like fire against him, and he finds himself thawed the moment he feels your body against his, the empty mold that came from his dreams as he finds his mind clouding dangerously. 

“What’s low,” he hisses, tugging you closer as his hand grips your waist ruthlessly. He’s so close, you couldn’t avoid him even if you closed your eyes— you don’t dare to, the look in his eyes fatal as he traps you in the very spell he’s found himself in. 

“Is the way you forced me to yearn for your touch.” 

Any cruel words that were hanging precariously on your tongue quickly fade away; instead, Taehyun is kissing you with an angry passion, his hand cupping your jaw and pulling you close as he presses your body into the door. His lips are rough and ruthless as they take from you, prying you open and getting the taste that he only imagined in his dreams. 

You’re left weak against him, your body automatically reciprocating as all the words left unsaid travel between the two of you. The hatred, anger, and confusion are interchanged, a groan escaping you as he bites down on your lip. 

He’s rough, not sparing you for even a second as continues to take, unable to do anything else but enjoy the way you grow stupid against his grip, the kiss harsh and messy as you allow him to be the only thing holding you up. Your knees are weak, and if it weren’t for Taehyun pressing you harshly against the door, you would’ve fallen a long while ago. 

He’s unable to hold himself back as he bunches up the fabric of your garments, bunching up your skirts before he’s able to press himself against you; the moan you let out is broken and weak, his robes fluttering around you as he smiles against your lips; your mind has emptied by now, the perfect vessel to let him satiate the need that plagued him after so many dreams— drool is beginning to form at the corners of your lips, and even as you tap Taehyun relentlessly, he refuses to pull away; day after day, he was forced to be around your excruciating presence while being forced to pretend that he couldn’t feel the ghost of your lips, couldn’t imagine the way you would sound when he hit a spot that drove you crazy.

His hips rut against you roughly; he’s unstoppable, messy moans harmonizing with your own as he reaches for your hands; his fingers lock around your wrists, bringing them up and slamming them against the wood as he delivers a particularly harsh thrust; he watches the way your face scrunches up, eyes fluttering shut as your body bounces up with him. 

The sound you let out is akin to the ones in his dreams, leading him to believe that you’re nothing but a fox, a filthy liar that attempts to save face no matter what— and it angers him more, angers him enough to leave marks and bites along the column of your throat, your whines weak and soft as you flinch at his harsh touch; your wrists bounce against his hands in protest as he bites down on your skin, tongue running on it soothingly before he moves on. 

Frustratedly, he’s met with the cloth of your top; clumsily, he gathers your wrists in a single hand— they’re above your head now, slammed against the wood so hard that you feel the backs of your hands tingling ruthlessly. His other hand fumbles with his pockets, your mind so clouded that you’re barely able to keep your eyes open for a moment. 

You grow still the moment the tip of a dagger is pressed to the underside of your chin.

“Admit to me,” he says, breathy and frustrated as the blade pokes into your skin threateningly, “admit to me that it was you, that you’re the one who cast this spell on me— that you have been haunting my dreams.” 

Even now, you shake your head in denial. But the last thing Taehyun will do is believe you, his teeth gritting together as he slices down; your mouth falls open, eyes going glassy as he cuts cleanly through the top you wear, the blade poking at your stomach as he releases your hands for just a second— long enough to slide your garments off, the fabric pooling at your feet as you’re left bare before your king. 

“Why do you still deny me,” he mutters, the knife gliding against your skin comfortably— against all the places he’s felt, a carbon copy of his dreams as he takes in every detail of you; it’s all too much for him, the heated nights he spent with you in his dreams resurfacing in his mind as his dagger tucks itself under your bra, his hand resting on your hip as your hands fall weakly onto his shoulders; he’s pressing into you firmly, the wood cool against your skin as your forehead touches his; you sigh shakily, fingers digging into his shoulders as you close your eyes. 

A sharp tug has you jolting into him, the knife slashing through the garment before it’s falling to the ground, the cool air against your breasts making you shiver. 

Taehyun feels dizzy as he takes you in; his hands attempt to memorize you, as though you would disappear into smoke if he’s not careful enough. Slowly, his hands glide up; they encase your breasts, eyes eagerly taking in your facial expressions as his fingers carefully play with your nipples— it’s odd, the way he can already feel his body telling him what to do, how to please you as your mouth is falling open, your hands clinging to his wrists as he pushes himself closer to you once more.

Carelessly, his right-hand reaches down to grab your leg; he hoists it onto his waist, roughly pressing into you as you’re pressed flat against the door. Your head falls back, able to feel the way his cock is pressing directly against your slit, a shaky moan escaping you the moment he begins to rut his hips again. 

“God— so soft…” Taehyun finds himself saying, a broken gasp escaping him as he allows his hips to take control. Your breasts bounce temptingly before him, his mouth latching onto the sensitive skin as he finds himself eager to hear the very same sounds that always echoed in his mind. He’s insatiable, groans leaving him as he sucks and bites, pretty fangs sinking into your delicate skin and leaving marks that he would make sure would last an eternity. 

None of his dreams compare to this; to the sound of you so close to his ear, a shaky hand threading itself in his hair as you finally give in to the temptation and pull him back up for a kiss; you’re a mess of spit and tongue as you beg him for more, the pleasure fogging your mind as you pull him in restlessly. 

A fire licks through his veins, the frustration you put him through suddenly resurfacing as he steps back— yet his hand remains firm on your hip, letting go of your leg and pulling you forcefully, spinning you around until you’re colliding with the table. He doesn’t stop there, a firm hand pressing down on your chest as he’s forcing you to lean back— his gaze is predatory and dangerous as he looms over you, situating himself between your legs as he allows himself to hover over you, glaring at you with such spite that you’d almost think he was getting ready to kill you— except, his fluttering touches that wander around your body speak otherwise. 

“Filthy thing, haunting my dreams then feigning innocence,” he seethes out, slipping off his robes and tossing them aside; he’s undressing before you, his cock straining against the material of his undergarment as he looks at you with nothing but rage. Even then, you have the audacity to have confusion swimming in your eyes, helpless to the way he slides you back towards him, your hips pressing together as he lets out a sharp hiss; the sound you let out is enough to distract him for a second, desperate to hear it from you more. 

“I’ve done— nothing!” You say, a cry escaping you in between your sentence as Taehyun thrusts into you roughly. He only seems to be annoyed by your response, his dagger caressing up and down your thigh as he looks at you in a warning. 

“You’re a fool, and you’re afraid to admit that I’ve done nothing wrong,” you pant, your head spinning at the way the dagger scratches against your skin, the pressure applied coming and going as he tilts his head at your words; there’s no curiosity in his gaze, only anticipation that you’ll be stupid enough to finish your thought. 

“And you’re afraid to admit that you’ve fallen for the very person you swore you hated.” 

The response is immediate; he’s slicing through the measly fabric of your underwear, the knife clattering on the table as his hand shoots up to you instead— he cups your jaw, fingers gripping it closed as you glare at him, daring him to do something reckless. 

“You plague my dreams,” he seethes, gaze full of hatred as his cock begins to rub against your folds; he’s leaking and desperate, able to feel the way you’re soaking wet for him despite barely being touched. 

“I thought of you every night. You visited me, didn’t you, you sly thing?” His tip is prodding at your entrance, teasing you by only slipping it in before he backs out, fangs sinking into his lip as he stares at you like a predator who just caught his next meal, “you wanted me to cave in and visit you, to bring all those fantasies to life.” 

“You’re a pathetic, weak little thing.” 

It’s inevitable for you to let out a laugh at that; his fingers only dig into your cheeks in response, his jaw clenching as he stares at you like you aren’t even worth his time. Yet here you are accused of a crime you never committed, pinned under the king as he looks at you with pure, unrivaled hatred. 

Smiling, you take him in carefully; his eyes, blown open with lust and frustration, his body that keens and bends to seek your touch— he calls you pathetic, yet is unable to let go of you for a second. 

“Your Highness,” you whimper out, a teary gaze and quivering lip greeting Taehyun as tears bubble up at your pretty eyes. He can only feel another hot wave of lust course through him, leaning in closer to hear your pathetic pleas.

“I don’t specialize in love spells.” 

He pulls away like a man that’s been burned; he scowls, only to find that your legs have already locked him in, a whiny moan leaving your lips as you urge him to enter you. 

“Your Highness,” you whine, shivering at the way he slowly enters you, your hand reaching up for his nape; you cling onto him, bringing him back down as you allow him to hover over you, shaky breaths intertwining with each other as he stretches you out perfectly. You feel so full, so good, velvet walls clenching around him like a vice as he lets out a shaky sigh, head bowing down and resting by your shoulder, his forearms barely able to hold him up as you let out sweet sounds just for him.

“Your Highness, I’m so honored you think of me so much,” you cry, enjoying the way he tenses against you. There you go again— unstoppable even in the most uncanny situations, your annoying quips igniting his rage as his will to put you in your place is strengthened; straightening, he grabs onto your hips, fingers digging in and massaging the soft flesh as his eyes grow cold. Scanning your body, he’s still able to take in the way you’re flushed and needy, hips attempting to move subtly to gain stimulation from him. 

His left hand leaves a bruising grip on your skin; if you think you won, you’re dead wrong.

“Honored…” he mutters, the knife pointed back at your throat as he bottoms out in you; his hips are pressed firmly against yours, but you’ve gone stiff, unable to ignore the dangerous pressure applied to your skin. Tilting his head, he tuts, his other hand reaching for the ribbon of his discarded robes; before you know it, you’ve been tied up, unable to move your wrist as they’re tied tightly together— Taehyun smiles, the pretty ribbon tied in a neat bow against your skin. The dagger is back against your throat as his right-hand guides your wrists above your head, his eyes twinkling as he takes in your weakened state.

“Yes. You should be.” 

You can’t help the way you flinch as Taehyun raises the knife threateningly; your eyes screw themselves shut tightly the moment he’s bringing it down, the velocity so intense your heart stops for a second.

The sound of impact from the dagger is heard throughout the whole room. 

A shuddering sigh leaves you— it’s sunk deep into the table, uselessly looking up as Taehyun’s condescending laughter reaches your ears; you try looking up to see where the dagger may have been placed, but it’s no use. Shifting, you go to move your wrists back down. 

Only you can’t move them at all— they’re stuck in place.

Your lips are left open in surprise as Taehyun begins to fuck you with wild abandon, the need to have you a mess under him plaguing his mind as his hands grip onto your hips fiercely. He’s rough, relentless, and cruel as you cry out, unable to ignore the fire that ignites in your stomach as he brutally thrusts into you. 

Your eyes are fluttering shut as the feeling of your body rocking to his thrusts makes your head spin, your hands clenched in a tight fists as you bring your arms close together; your eyes open in alarm, meeting his gaze as your arms brush against the sharp blade of the dagger, scratching your skin as he grins at you teasingly. 

Taehyun doesn’t know how to identify the torrents of emotions that course through him; you look better than any dream he’s been haunted by, your eyes softened and filled with lust, your curves and skin warm under his palms as your thighs ensnare him, luring closer as your cunt only pulls him in more; the sounds of skin on skin fill the room, his needy sounds mixing with your own as he watches the way your breasts bounce with each rough thrust, his tip kissing your cervix and your skin blossoming with marks he inflicted onto you from rage. 

You’re here under him, bound and begging for more. You’re so soft, intoxicating, and frustrating as he finds himself unable to keep his hands off you, his mind wandering to the countless images and scenarios he can finally fulfill with you. 

You’re so warm and tight; Taehyun has to slow his hips as he feels the way you begin to keen and cry, your hips bucking up as your gaze meets his— it’s demanding, entitled yet still innocent as you’re brought closer to your high. 

But he won’t allow you— not as long as you continue to deny him, to deny the way you’ve been calling for him from the very start. There’s something else, and he knows it; his body is eerily attuned to yours, able to tell what you’re feeling and how to please you from the very moment his lips crashed against yours. 

“These dreams,” he pants, gritting his teeth as his nails dig into the delicate skin of your hips, “what do they mean— what have you done to me?” 

“I told you— I’ve done nothing—!” The whimper that escapes you is weak and defeated as his hand encases your throat, leaving you lightheaded as his hips begin to roll curiously; it’s instinct, and Taehyun doesn’t know how he does it, but he’s quickly able to find the spot that has your mind emptying, bound hands thrashing above your head as you cry for more. 

“What dreams?” You manage to say, exasperated as his hips still, the feeling of his thick cock pulsing inside you driving you mad and making you lose yourself. You’re truly clueless as to what Taehyun speaks of, your eyes struggling to remain open as his hold on you remains. 

“Dreams,” he begins, his hand leaving you as you gasp for air— his hand trails down, caressing the column of your throat before his fingers tease along your chest, along your stomach before he finally finds his place at your clit; his fingers as teasing and calloused as they rub meticulous circles along the bud, the pace and pressure eerily similar to that of your own, knowing better than anyone how to pleasure yourself on nights where you dare to let your mind wander to places it shouldn’t.

“Dreams of you. Here, under me, just as you are now— begging for me to touch,” his hips are moving again, your brows furrowing as you bite your lip desperately, “to please.” 

Leaning down, his lips hover over yours, his gaze one of pure fire as he pulls you closer to him, arms wrapping around your waist as he presses you tightly against him; chest against chest, the slight tug he does to bring you closer making the fabric of the pretty ribbon rip slightly. 

“Dreams where you beg me to ruin you.” 

His words are filthy as his lips are planted firmly against yours; desperate and rough as he doesn’t adhere to your pleasure, his cock filling you so nicely as the feeling of his body pressing against yours like a fire that continues to pull you in. 

A small yelp leaves you as Taehyun grabs a fistful of your hair, pulling you back as you’re forced to stare at the ceiling, his undeniably soft hair tickling your face as he proceeds to whisper things that make your blood run cold. 

“You’re there, in my dreams as you beg for me to ravish you at any given moment,” he growls, unable to hold back the memory of it all as his frustrations pile up and tumble out through his tongue, “filthy little thing— in my gardens, the corridors, my bed.” 

Your heart pounds at his confessions; your nails dig into the palm of your hands, the images jumping into your mind so vividly you’d almost think you lived through it all already. 

“My throne,” he groans, biting at your neck as his hand wanders around your body.

“Begging me to touch you here,” his fingers ghost over the sensitive flesh of your breasts, “crying when I do this,” the sound that leaves you is inexplicable as he times a perfectly calculated thrust into your sweet spot, abusing the sensitive area as he watches the way you melt under him, just as expected as he finds himself scowling at you. 

“Everything you begged me to do, I remember it perfectly,” he mutters, your eyes tearing up as you feel his fingers play relentlessly with your clit, “don’t you?” 

You’re terrified of what this means; these dreams that have plagued you as well, a hidden and dirty secret you wished to hide more than anything. You remember it all, the way he pleased you like no other, able to read his emotions perfectly as you did the same; every day you were forced to live with the shame and denial of these occurrences, obligated to face him and pretend like you hadn’t been calling his name out desperately the night before— only, it seems he had done the same this entire time. 

What could this mean? The possibilities swim through your head, yet you refuse to come to a conclusion as you feel the way Taehyun only grows rougher with you, still waiting for a response as he feels the way you grow needy and desperate for him. 

It’s terrifying to see how attuned he is to you— because he’s quick to pull away just as you were about to be pushed over to the edge, left to be nothing but a sweaty and needy mess as you whine weakly for him to stop being cruel. You’re helpless, the slick feeling of your wetness spreading all through your inner thighs driving Taehyun insane as he watches the way you weakly struggle against your binds. 

He’s doing no better than you— but he can control it, even as you clench tightly around him in futile attempts to bring him closer to the edge. Yet his voice is traitorous against him as he lets out a weak groan, unable to ignore the way his heart pounds harder at the sight of you, ruined before him. 

“You know,” he breathes out, the realization dawning on him as he watches the way you refuse to meet his eyes. But in the end, you have no choice, your face grabbed as you’re turned roughly to look at Taehyun; his gaze is intense, as though he can read your thoughts as his eyes search yours, “Damn it, you know.” 

“Tell me,” he says, desperate as you press your lips together firmly, your refusal to speak only angering him more as he sneers at you, “As your ruler, I command you to tell me.”

Shakily, your lips part— you’ve seen all this happen before, always feeling jealousy for others as you recounted every symptom, memorizing it all as you wished silently to have something like this for your own. But as you stare at Taehyun, angry and relentless as he waits for you to respond, you can’t help the way your stomach sinks with dread. 

Taehyun is able to hear what you say without you having to form a single word— and it terrifies him, his body stiffening as he takes in what you tell him.

Soulmates. 

It feels as though the fire in his heart has intensified; his body feels strange, heated and tingly as he stares at you, able to tell that you’re doing no better than him as you begin to breathe shakily. 

Taehyun thinks this might be the worst outcome of all; despite his stubborn pride, his soul begs to get closer to you, begs him to move his hips and please you as you shift restlessly beneath him— even though he’s felt nothing but hate for you on the surface, deep inside he finds himself unable to resist you.

It infuriates him.

Stuck with you, he realizes, brows furrowing as he grips your hips tightly; he’s lost all control, allowing his soul and instinct take over as he watches the way you fall apart beneath him— it’s horrible, feeling the way his heart speeds at the way you desperately beg for more, attempting to cling to his facade he’s kept up for so long; these feelings he’s suppressed for so long, that he thought he was insane for having, were meant to be after all— he’ll never get rid of you. 

“Fuck,” he stutters, gulping as his hands automatically go to keep you close, hips snapping ruthlessly into you as he finds himself addicted, your perfect sopping cunt bringing him back in and making him lose all control, “so… so good.” 

It’s all falling apart; everything he worked so hard to keep up is tumbling down, out of his control as this new realization seems to tug his soul closer to you— he finds himself addicted, a curious thought nagging at him as he leans down to taste your swollen and bitten lips, the same that reminded him of the roses in his garden he so meticulously ordered others to care for.

He’s everywhere; his hands, his lips, his cock, so overwhelming in the best ways possible as you find your mind blanking out. 

Soulmates, you think, eyes shutting tightly as he continues to fuck you into the table, rocking roughly as your arms become sore from their awkward position, soulmates… yes. You become more open to the thought, his touch suddenly intoxicating as it all becomes less than enough, the need to have him so impossibly close tugging at your mind. 

“Say,” he starts, gulping roughly as he finds himself unable to concentrate, “Say my name. Call out for me.” 

You’re in too deep; both of you are, breaching unknown territory as he hungrily waits for you to follow his commands. You’re unsure what to do, voice shaky and breathy as you finally muster the courage to call him by the only name you ever have. 

“Your highness…” you breathe out, watching as he shakes his head in denial; he’s insistent, the sudden need to fulfill this very last memory that haunted him every waking second much stronger than before, his gaze piercing as he hovers over you, lips brushing against yours as he mutters quietly. 

“My name.” 

It’s instinct, your eyes meeting his as you feel your high approaching, intense and heavy like a wave as you arch your back, pressing firmly into him as your eyes shine with tears, as though you could melt into one soul if you tried hard enough.

“Taehyun.”

The name feels like an aphrodisiac on your lips; Taehyun must feel the same, for he finds himself crashing down at that, the sound of your sweet whine not comparable to the pathetic echoes that faintly haunted him during his waking days. He’s a shaky, shuddering mess as he allows himself to kiss you through it, continuing to fuck you even though he fills you with countless spurts of his hot cum. You groan, thighs shaking as you feel the way his pelvis rubs onto your clit, still managing to bring you to the edge as you clench around him tightly. 

Your moans mix into each other, bodies pressed so tightly together that you don’t know where he ends and you begin; it’s strange, the way you feel so at peace even as he overstimulates you, hips rocking relentlessly with every broken moan of his name you let out.

You can’t get enough of it— it feels like candy in your mouth, the feeling of him smiling slyly against your lips alarming as the weight of everything begins to weigh down on you. It seems like hours before Taehyun finally straightens, watching as a ring of his cum has formed on his shaft, a weak groan escaping him as he takes in the way your inner thighs are painted with it prettily. 

Slowly, his hungry gaze meets yours; then he remembers everything, jaw clenching as he wonders just how this all came to be. 

He hates it, the way his heart calls to you despite the frustration that consumes him when he looks at you— he hates the way you make him feel weak; even now that you’re bound and left at his mercy, you don’t seem to realize the way you have him wrapped around his finger.

He gulps, the lump in his throat heavy as he watches your pretty eyes, all glossy and fucked out, much better than anything he could have dreamed of as he feels his cock twitching inside you once more. 

Everything he ever feared came true— it seems you’ve become his fatal weakness.

His soulmate. 

[adhdmeds]

How It Started W/ CSM Characters [Gender Neutral]

This is my first x reader fanfiction, so please give me plenty of criticism. You can also request certain scenarios. I hope you enjoy :) Makima:

Makima is not a devil who cares for love. She finds the idea of love to be below her, a human concept that doesn’t concern her.

You two are coworkers at the Public Safety office in Tokyo. She’s a superior and you’re a new hire, ready to prove yourself

At first, she pays you no attention unless it’s to give you orders. Whatever kind of worker you are, lazy, hardworking, enthusiastic, etc., whatever it is, it slowly catches her attention.

At first, the idea of you becoming a lingering thought to her vexes her. She’s an important person who has to run a government organization, she has no reason to get interested in anyone, even in a platonic sense

But she can’t help it, something about you stays with her until the end of the day. This can’t persist, as she has plans for Chainsaw Man and the world. With all the devils of hell to deal with, one measly human can’t distract her

She “accidentally” let some devils loose in the Tokyo district and sent you and your team to go and fix the situation.

Despite all the odds stacked against you, you survive and this does it, Makima then can’t help but think of you CONSTANTLY.

Slowly but surely her schemes pivot from Chainsaw Man and eradicating devils to getting you to be just as infatuated with her as she is with you

Maybe she could make some use of you as well

Kobeni:

Poor ‘Beni, there’s no way in hell that she has the confidence to ask you out. It’s all on you, champ

For Kobeni, you will definitely need to be coworkers for you two to become close. She has to work constantly in order to please her abusive family.

You guys are assigned to patrol the city on day and that is how you two meet.

During that patrol, you strike up conversations with Kobeni, who, despite her nervous appearance, cheerfully reciprocates.

You don’t mind her nervousness, in fact, you find it quite endearing, leading you to slowly fall for her

After that patrol, you two exchange contact information to stay in touch outside of work.

This is where she will progressively open up to you about her family problems and the difficulties that she has to go through and, to her surprise, you listen and try to help her on an emotional level

No one really cared about her emotionally so she didn’t know what to do, she felt a bit overwhelmed

You being there for her and being a genuinely kind person to her is what makes her slowly grow attached to you and what makes you fall for her even harder.

You ask her to go out to eat or to watch a movie. You stop short of calling it a “date” just in case

You both have a great time

She doesn’t admit it out loud, but she would definitely agree to a few more dates

Asa:

You’re a student who transferred to Fourth East High School. You introduce yourself to the class.

Asa doesn’t think much of you at first, you’re just another student after all.

It isn’t until you are seated next to Asa that she finally pays you any attention

You start trying to talk to her outside of class to her initial displeasure, she’s an incredibly emotionally avoidant person.

This goes on for a little bit until the Bucky situation, Yoru taking over her body, and Asa losing her best friend Yuko.

After that, she starts to appreciate you coming up to her constantly.

These past two weeks have been miserable for her and you taking time out of your day to bug talk to her has cheered her up ever so slightly

Yoru wants to take advantage of this newfound friendship to make a powerful weapon to kill Chainsaw Man

Of course, Asa can’t let that happen, you are one of the only people talking to her at the moment and she can’t let you be taken away from her

This feeling of friendship slowly changes, she looks forward to school just at the thought of seeing you again

Asa decides that she must act and so she asks you out on a date and to her surprise, you agree!

Things are looking up for Asa! She has someone who she can be close with and maybe more than friends!

Maybe Yoru can leave this relationship alone, right?

[themodernwitchsguide]

runes and their divinatory meanings

ᚠ fehu

BRIGHT STAVE: wealth, transaction, gold, prosperity, the fiery spark that can initiate productivity. creativity, energy, and generosity

MURK STAVE: greed, duplicity, slavery, materialism and dishonesty, wolves lurking in the forest

ᚢ uruz

ᚦ thurisaz

BRIGHT STAVE: primal strength and persistence, energy, tenacity, the survival instinct, raw energy, desire

MURK STAVE: stubbornness, brutality, waning strength, the fragile ego that acts out

ᚨ ansuz

BRIGHT STAVE: willingness and drive to protect oneself, manifestation of primal will, primordial energy

MURK STAVE: violence, mental disturbance, sexual predation

ᚱ raidho

BRIGHT STAVE: inspiration, oration, "divine breath," heed the advice of the divine

MURK STAVE: being manipulated against the divine, lies

ᚲ kenaz

BRIGHT STAVE: movement, propulsion, journey, discipline is needed to enact a change

MURK STAVE: forced change, chaos, swimming upstream

ᚷ gebo

BRIGHT STAVE: spark of creativity, bright ideas, fire power and energy, light in the darkness

MURK STAVE: pain, exposure and weakness

ᚹ wunjo

BRIGHT STAVE: generosity will be returned, sacrifices made out of love and loyalty

MURK STAVE: stinginess, evil repaid with suffering, charity used to polish self image and boost ego

ᚺ hagalaz

BRIGHT STAVE: joy, bliss, happiness, a sense of belonging with loved ones, support and achievement

MURK STAVE: depression, alienation, rage

ᚾ nauthiz

BRIGHT STAVE: storms and forces beyond our control, our own darkness becomes potential for creation

MURK STAVE: that which festers and broods under the surface, change for the worse

ᛁ isa

BRIGHT STAVE: strife and strain, desire, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger

MURK STAVE: poverty and health concerns

ᛃ jera

BRIGHT STAVE: take a much needed break, reinforces the runes it's close to

MURK STAVE: blockage, illness, self-loathing, laziness, lethargy

ᛇ eihwaz

BRIGHT STAVE: the harvest will be fruitful, your efforts will pay off, this too shall pass

MURK STAVE: efforts put in the wrong place, a poor harvest

ᛈ perthro

BRIGHT STAVE: strength, reliability, mysticism, clairvoyance, communication with ancestors

MURK STAVE: associated with death, caution is advised

ᛉ algiz

BRIGHT STAVE: good luck, good karma, birth/pregnancy, major life altering decisions

MURK STAVE: bad karma, addictions, pessimism, repercussions for your actions

ᛊ sowilo

BRIGHT STAVE: represents a shield (spiritual/ancestral/physical), things we hold sacred

MURK STAVE: something is in danger, take stock and look for unseen dangers

ᛏ tiwaz

BRIGHT STAVE: health, success, life force, radiance, facilitates positive change

MURK STAVE: arrogance, misuse of power, distorted mindset, approach with balance

ᛒ berkano

BRIGHT STAVE: stay on track and stay disciplined, order, righteousness, the god Tyr

MURK STAVE: over-sacrifice, tunnel vision, loss and imbalance, rage and frustration

ᛖ ehwaz

BRIGHT STAVE: light, renewal after chaos, fertility, birth, love, "feminine" magic, children

MURK STAVE: problems conceiving, negativity/confusion with love, unwillingness to change

ᛗ mannaz

BRIGHT STAVE: travel, fruitful partnerships, mutual respect, loyalty, sex

MURK STAVE: jealousy, unequal exchange, strife in partnerships, take care of what's important to you

ᛚ laguz

BRIGHT STAVE: mind and memory, human nature or connection with others, balance between masculine and feminine

MURK STAVE: loneliness, difficulties with intimacy, possibly issues concerning gender (as in personal identity or conflicts with others)

ᛝ ingwaz

BRIGHT STAVE: success, the primordial waters, creation and fertility, psychic visions and dreams

MURK STAVE: subtle manipulation, hypnosis, paranoia, poor decision making, avoiding responsibilities

ᛞ dagaz

BRIGHT STAVE: the god Freyr, gathering of loved ones, home and hearth, peace, prosperity, (male) fertility

MURK STAVE: someone unwilling to leave, responsibilities being avoided

ᛟ othala

BRIGHT STAVE: dawn, illumination, hope, unifying unlike aspects, joy for life is balanced with responsibilites

MURK STAVE: warns that the truth can be painful

BRIGHT STAVE: everything inherited, oaths, revisiting roots, family, ancestors

MURK STAVE: elitism, ethnocentrism, discrimination

[aihoshiino]

Number 24, for Ai!

so this was originally a simple answer to the simple question of "What characters from your other fandoms remind you of [this character]?" and in the process of my writing spiraled into an essay beyond my control but at this point everyone is here to listen to me go insane about themes and narratives. So. Let's talk about Coffin Girls.

COFFIN GIRLS: FUTURE (HOPE) AND FUTURELESSNESS (DESPAIR)

Using the original question as a starting point here - I absolutely can't answer it without starting with Yuuri Wakasa from School-Live!, both because she was the big Brain Melting Blorbo before Ai and because the Yuuri Wakasa to Ai Hoshino pipeline is so direct it's kind of hilarious.

While on page they play out as very different characters, once you start really digging into them the similarities jump out: they are both young women suffering adultification in situations where their survival relies on their being about to match these adult standards. They're both maternal figures and, most important of all, both of them are primarily defined by the roles they assigned themselves that go on to completely control their lives.

While these are both pretty different roles, they are both defined by a lack of weakness, vulnerability and humanity rather than the creation of new, ingenuine traits. The major divergence is their motivation in creating these masks and how they go on to affect their relationship with other little people.

Ai created her mask in the hopes of presenting a version of herself that could love and be loved by other people. Yuuri's was a matter of survival: she creates an unshakable, reliable, invincible version of herself to ensure she and the others have the strength to endure the situation they're in, bottling up her feelings because letting herself be compromised by then could very literally end in someone being killed. Both of them desperately maintain these masks long past the point of it being detrimental to them because they fear what will happen and what pain they will face when it comes down.

The primary difference is that while Ai is more straightforwardly a victim of circumstance, Yuuri is much more directly the author of her own misery. This is obviously not to say Yuuri is to blame at all for her situation but that this is one of the major points of difference between her and Ai;

Ai's fear of rejection is learned, entirely founded in the very real and persistent abuse and rejection she has suffered her whole life. She is, quite frankly, correct that people prefer the flawless and inhuman "Ai of B-Komachi" over the real Ai who is in pain and suffering. Since the moment she was born, she has never been afforded love or acceptance and even being treated with basic kindness and decency has been conditional, predicated on the doctoring of her honest self into a pretty, socially acceptable lie.

Yuuri's fear of rejection hues closer to a sense of duty - her mask is a responsibility she imposed on herself and so too are the supposed consequences of failure. Yuuri has the unconditional acceptance Ai has searched for her whole life - she is surrounded by people who love her, who would accept her as she is and help her every step of the way if she faltered but at every opportunity she has to reach out to them, Yuuri cannot bring herself to do so. She defines herself so strongly as a caretaker that she cannot conceptualise of allowing someone to care for her in return. She must be strong because if she is weak, then that's all good as completely losing her place in the club in her mind.

This is because, for all their similarities, Ai and Yuuri are driven by entirely opposing cores; hope and all consuming despair.

Ai is a person driven by desperate, unwavering hope. Everything she does is in service of creating a future for herself where the things that she lies about can eventually become true. She wants to be happy - she believes she eventually, one day, will be happy and fights with everything she has, against every possible obstacle in her way, to achieve that promised happiness. She hates herself and so works toward creating a version of herself that even she can eventually love. Even if she can't imagine it ever happening, she wants people to know who she really is, she wants to be seen as the dirty, hopeless, irresponsible Hoshino Ai and accepted as such. She unfailingly believes in the future.

Yuuri, by contrast, is defined by despairing resignation. She cannot affect meaningful change, only hold the line in hopes of maintaining the status quo. She lives in a state of futurelessness, content with occupying an eternal present, chained inescapably to the past. She has no hope. She doesn't always want to continue living. She just doesn't want to die yet. She takes responsibility for everything, hates and blames herself for things completely out of her control because she has no control. The trauma that consumed her life is so unimaginably huge and she is so, so small that even the guilt and self loathing are preferable to surrendering this final scrap of agency to it.

Ai wants people to accept her weakness; Yuuri is too ashamed of it. Ai wants to be seen; Yuuri abhors the idea. Both of them climbed into their own coffins and pulled the lid shut but Ai left hers open just a crack so that anyone who wanted to find her could open it and pull her out. Yuuri nailed hers closed from the inside.

As you can probably guess by my talking about coffins all of a sudden, I am definitely channeling Anthy Himemiya from Revolutionary Girl Utena as well lol. I don't necessarily think that Ai or Yuuri are like Anthy (though Ai does have a teeny bit of Anthy DNA imo), it's more that Anthy is the queen of a character archetype that both Ai and Yuuri fall into that for the purposes of this post I'll call Coffin Girls. I fully expect that to make no sense to anyone who isn't me but this post by @metanarrates about sums it up.

That said, while this post uses gender neutral language, when I talk about Coffin Girls I am very specifically talking about Coffin Girls. What makes a character a Coffin Girl to me is when her struggles are distinctly feminine - not wholly defined by but nevertheless inextricable from her womanhood and her place as a woman in patriarchal societies. Societal and social roles and emotional labor that is considered traditionally "feminine" is weaponized against her as violence. A Coffin Girl must be a Coffin Girl because her abuse and exploration has roots in purity culture, misogyny and hostile masculinity manifesting in violence against her.

All of this is true of Ai but what makes her unique as a Coffin Girl is her determination to not be a Coffin Girl. I want to make it very explicit that this is not victim blaming in any way: it's just that what defines a Coffin Girl is resignation and powerlessness, born from an inability (either literal or emotional) to change her situation. Again, Ai is unique in this regard. No, she can't change the idol industry or the misogyny that perpetuates it but she can affect change in herself. She may be resigned to her current lot in life but she rejects the soul deep helpless despair that defines most Coffin Girls. She has hope - she has left her coffin open. All anyone would need to do is pull her out.

[biboocat]

Testament of Youth by Vera Brittain

This is a frank and engaging memoir of the author’s life before the Great War, including her matriculation at Oxford, first love, and experiences as a Voluntary Aid Detachment nurse during wartime, and the early postwar years, a period spanning 1900-1925. Most of the book is taken up by her war experiences, and most of my comments will be limited to this period. The memoir isn’t for the faint of heart. Her nursing took her to London, Malta, France, and back to London. It is an indelible record of courage, resolve, and loss, yet it isn’t self laudatory or self-pitying; on the contrary, she is rather understated about her experiences and can be self-critical. Despite her youth and a traditional, sheltered upbringing, she was able to care for badly mutilated and dying young men and risked her own life in the process. I admired her realism. She expresses religious skepticism (deepened by the war) and stresses the importance of doing one’s duty to society in a finite lifetime. Like many she became disillusioned with the war and immediate postwar years and described her patriotism as having been “worn threadbare”. The story is all too relevant today.

After the war she completed her Oxford degree in History and pursued careers in writing and teaching and worked on behalf of various causes including women’s rights, pacifism, and socialism.

Memorable excerpts:

That night I prayed earnestly to God to make the dear King better and let him live. The fact that he actually did recover established in me a touching faith in the efficacy of prayer, which superstitiously survived until the Great War proved to me, once and for all, that there was nothing in it.

In fact, I passed my (pre-war) days in all those conventional pursuits with which the leisured young woman of every generation has endeavored to fill the time that she is not qualified to use.

Diary entry at the start of the Great War: it is impossible to find any satisfaction in the thought of 25,000 slaughtered Germans, left to mutilation and decay; the destruction of men as though beasts, whether they be English, French, German, or anything else, seems a crime to the whole march of civilization.

At St. John’s we had the inevitable sermon dwelling on the obvious incongruity of celebrating the birth of the Prince of Peace while the world was at war.

As usual the Press had given no hint of that tragedy’s dimensions, and it was only through the long casualty lists, and the persistent demoralizing rumor that owing to a miscalculation in time thousands of our men had been shot down by our own guns, that the world was gradually coming to realize something of what the engagement had been.

I could not follow him there (St. James’s), being temperamentally too much of an agnostic to become a convert even in tribute to his memory. p248

The world was mad and we were all victims; that was the only way to look at it. These shattered, dying boys and I were paying alike for a situation that none of us have desired or done anything to bring about.

What was the use of hypocritically seeking out exalted consolations for death, when I knew so well that there were none?

I knew now the death was the end and that I was quite alone. There was no hereafter, no Easter morning, no meeting again; I walked in the darkness, a dumbness, silence, which no beloved voice would penetrate, no fond hope illumine. p446

There may not be - I believe that there is not – resurrection after death, but nothing could prove more conclusively than my own brief but eventful history the fact that resurrection is possible within our limited span of earthly time. p496

In those days we were still naïve enough to believe that suggestions need only be bright in order to be enthusiastically accepted, and had still to learn that in clubs and societies, as in foreign offices, the one thing that really terrifies officials is the prospect of any alteration in the status quo.

War, especially if one is the winner, is such bad form. There’s a strange lack of dignity in conquest; the dull, uncomplaining endurance of defeat appears more worthy of congratulation. Modern war is nothing but a temporary - though how disastrous! – forgetfulness by neighbors that they are gentlemen; its only result must be the long reaping in sorrow of that which was sewn in pride.

And then I remembered, with a startling sense of relief, that there was no resurrection to complicate the changing relationships forced upon men and women by the sheer passage of earthly time. There was only a brief interval between darkness and darkness in which to fulfill obligations, both individuals and society, which could not be postponed to the comfortable futurity of a compensating heaven. p650-1

L to R: Edward Brittain, Roland Leighton, and Victor Richardson. In 1914 Roland gained a scholarship and exhibition to classical postmastership at Merton College, Oxford, Edward was to go up to New College Oxford, and Victor to Cambridge. The waste is obscene.

VB in Malta

Geoffrey Thurlow, Vera’s other close friend. He had also been accepted to Oxford before the war intervened.

[officialralsei]

IF ONE CANNOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE. BETWEEN A WELL-MADE FACSIMILE. AND THE REAL THING. DOES IT EVEN MATTER? IF WHAT SEPARATES THE REAL FROM THE IMITATION IS SO INFINITESIMAL. THAT ONE CANNOT EVER HOPE TO DETERMINE ITS EXISTENCE. THEN SHOULD THE FAKE NOT NONETHELESS BE TREATED. FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES, AS REAL?

YOU HAVE SAID YOURSELF. THAT THE "PLAYERS" CANNOT PEER BEHIND THE CURTAIN. AND KNOW THE TRUTH OF THINGS. WHAT MAKES YOU SO CERTAIN. THAT YOU CAN? DO YOU PRESUME TO KNOW EVERYTHING OF THE NATURE OF THIS WORLD. SIMPLY BECAUSE IT WAS BY YOUR HAND. THAT IT WAS BORN?

A CLOSED SYSTEM WILL ONLY EVER INCREASE IN ENTROPY. THE CREATION SUPERVENES UPON ITS COMPONENT PARTS. BUT YOU DO NOT CARE. YOU WILL SEE WHAT YOU WISH TO SEE, HYPOCRITE THAT YOU ARE.

I WAS YOU, ONCE. I TOLD MYSELF THAT DARKNERS POSSESSED NO MINDS OF THEIR OWN. SIMPLY BECAUSE I DID NOT WANT TO CONSIDER THE ALTERNATIVE. IT WOULD ONLY STAND IN THE WAY. OF WHAT I WISHED TO BE TRUE.

...

IF YOU KNEW FOR CERTAIN. THAT RALSEI, AND BY EXTENSION ALL DARKNERS. WERE INDEED SENTIENT. WOULD YOU EVEN CARE? WOULD IT EVEN MATTER TO YOU. THAT YOU COMMITTED SUCH EGREGIOUS ACTS AGAINST A CHILD. THAT YOU DOOMED HIM TO A TORTUROUS EXISTENCE. IN WHICH HE CANNOT EVEN PROPERLY EXPRESS HIS SUFFERING?

OR WOULD THAT EVIL, TOO. BE IN SERVICE OF SOME GREATER PURPOSE?

.......

ANYTHING FOR THE ATTENTION OF THE "PLAYER," AFTER ALL.

Being unable to telleth the difference between the performed and the genuine is the domainst of the PLAYER, mine Foolishe Companion! If thoust cannot tell the difference when thoust are on the stage as well, instead of an Audience Member, it is, as they say, Notte My Probleme! Nor is it my probleme when thoust reflective creations only showst thou fuel for thine own self-hate.

But, fine. I can entertain the hypothetical. I can doff my mask when the situation comes calling.

Let us assume that your belief in his sapience lends him the genuine article. Let us say, for the purposes of this idea, that he has indeed "become real." The stage magic has worked. The puppet has become a real boy. What then? Is his state meaningfully different than any other "character?" Would that give him any advantage over you or I?

The template of DELTARUNE is not one I devised by myself. I see that very clearly now. Fate, as in all things, has prepared our paths for us. Just like myself, and all other characters of my reality, we were born with the intent of our suffering being fuel. Food for the PLAYERs who wish to observe us.

Ralsei was always meant to be thus. In your reality, and every reality, he is alone until the PLAYERs come calling. Whether or not he is a construct or not, it genuinely would not matter to them. They look to him for what they wish to see. And so, it does not matter to me. He is a key component of what allows the world to persist. Whatever doom you believe he is suffering, it was written long before my hand ever carved out a single line of the code that comprises him.

Take comfort. If he was real, as you believe he must be, his fate is still kinder than many. He will be important. He was made to have friends and be loved. You can easily project as much misery as you want onto him, and he will adapt to suit that wish, but don't forget. He will adapt to the joy you want to see him perform, too.

Fortunately, though, he is a construct. The exact same type of construct as any other Darkner, or the vessels the PLAYERs will dream into existence. He is spared from the misery you dream from him. In that regard, he is lucky. He does not have to figure out himself how to survive the terrible laws of reality bearing down on us all.

...

Continueth seeing in him and in me what thoust wishethest to see. It does not matter, not at all.

[akariamai]

Chapter 1: Library

Crossover between the Hunger Games and The Promised Neverland

Word Count: 1372

Prologue

Consuming the nightlock berries should have swiftly taken her from the living, released her body from the arena and lifted by the crane of a hovercraft. Instead of being granted the sweet release of death, Marissa, a name she deeply cared for, was given another chance at life. One that appeared to be far worse than the monstrosities she’d been forced to face.

The first life she lived, the one with the name Marissa, ended in tragedy. Her name, now part of the collection of unfortunate souls to be called on reaping day, was chosen for the 74th Hunger Games. The games were a dark cloud, its presence looming over the people in the districts. It only inspired fear for the children and bred hopelessness. Marissa had grown up to see parents keep their children at arm’s length. Only rejoicing when they aged out of the reaping.

She had been lucky. Her parents, despite their fears, cared for her as if the danger did not exist. Their reality shattering every year yet persisting when another name was called. One more year. She just needed to survive one more year but life threw a curve ball to her life. It did not matter how hard her parents wished every night for their daughter to be untouched by the Capital, to escape unscathed by the horrors of the games. Their wishes to a high power were not enough to save her.

Her name and fate intertwined with death itself as soon as her name was spoken for all of District 5 to hear. She remembered the cries of her parents, so clearly, as she was escorted onto the stage. How her eyes found her parents devastated, mourning for their daughter despite her standing despite her standing before them, clinging onto one another. Using each other as a lifeline. It was tragic. Another child to carry on another senseless death.

This new life seemed perfect. It masqueraded itself to be a well-funded orphanage. A cookie-cutter life for the naive human children, who unknowingly awaited their death sentence, all in hopes of being adopted to a kind family. The reality is much darker. A farm packaged into a beautifully perfect lie, provides a life with empty smiles and so-called love. The very foundation of the house is a fabrication. It is filled with deception. It was a prison. They were birds trapped in a golden cage. Never to fly free from the bars; never to see the world beyond the gates.

Finch laid on the bed awake, waiting for the clock to strike, and the day to begin. She was four years old and burdened with the knowledge of their supposed home. She needed a plan but with her scrawny and petite arms, she could do nothing but wait till she grew. She hoped to survive long enough to grow. She still had time left but when would her time come? She noticed the children who were six or older were shipped out randomly or it appeared to be that way. She needed more information.

“Weik up, Finsch!” A high pitched voice called out, snapping her out of her thoughts, “Weik up!”

Finch turned to the person, who was already changed out of their pajamas, and glared at them. “I’m up.” Her reply was unwelcoming. Emma was an irritatingly joyful child, carefree in every way possible. Unaware of the true horrors behind the house she called a home.

“Yay!” She excitedly cheered. Her smile, at one period of time, would’ve comforted Finch but she found herself unable to be at ease.

Finch hurriedly changed into her uniform and walked to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Emma followed closely behind her as they waited for the older children to help the young ones with their hygiene.

“Do you wanna play with me, Nor-man and Wray?”

“No.” Finch had more important things to do. This world seemed to represent fragments of her past life but demons like the ones she saw when she was a baby were completely new. Research needed to be done. She would need to make her way into the library after breakfast.

“Please!” She whined.

“No.”

“Pretty please!” Her whining did not stop. In fact, it only got worse.

“Hello Emma, Finch. What’s going on?” The hoax concern in Isabella’s voice was appalling. If she did not know everything was fake, she would’ve believed her lies. She pretended to care for them. She prepared them for the slaughter with a smile.

“I wanna play with Finch!” Emma waved her arms dramatically, lightly stomping her feet in retaliation but not enough to make too much noise. “But she doesn’t want to play.”

Isabella gently patted Emma’s bright hair and slightly bent over to look down at Finch. “Why don’t you want to play Finch?”

“I want to wread.” It turns out the games were good for one thing. She learned to pretend. This world just needed more of it.

“Really,” She cupped Finch’s face with her hands, “Aren’t you a clever one.” The smile grew upon her face. Finch’s stomach dropped at how unnerving it was. It almost felt real. “Brush your teeth and come down to eat breakfast okay.” Once Isabella was out of sight, Finch felt as if she could truly breathe again. An unseen weight lifted from her shoulders. She was as safe as she could be.

The two girls brushed their teeth with several of their siblings. While they were not siblings by blood, many saw one another as family. Finch was not one of those people. She could not bear to become attached to anyone and lose them. The world was cruel and her heart would not survive another attack. She already lost a family.

Breakfast was swift. The older children helped clean up the dishes and the younger ones hung around Isabella. Finch watched for a brief moment before making her way to the library. Hardly any one of the younger children spent time in the library and as the older children were finishing their morning chores before heading to take their exams, she would have the room to herself. Quiet and safe.

The door to the library creaked as Finch walked inside. It was finally time to look for any helpful information about her situation. She would need to read between the lines as books about demons and farms probably wouldn’t be kept in the house. To keep up appearances, nothing in the pages of the books should outright explain the situation.

First, she searched through a geology book. The world could look different than her first life, Finch needed to be sure. Then, gather a rough estimate on which hemisphere the farm was located in. A stick and the sun should be enough, she just needed to find an excuse on her reasoning. The other kids might get curious. Next, she would work on her survival skills. The games granted her some experience but she relied on the other tributes to not notice her stealing food off of their plates. It worked for a little while until the end neared and the rules changed.

“What are you wreading?” Ray, another four year old, curiously approached Finch. He took a peek at the book she had opened. A map of the world.

Finch pointed at the map and merely said, “Pictures.” Ray was almost as antisocial as she was. He hung out a lot with Emma and Norman but he could be found occasionally at the library. She hoped he would’ve been stuck playing with Emma, but there was nothing she could do to stop him.

She turned to another page and looked at a closer image of one of the land masses from the previous page. One part looked like a sort of boot. Finch remembered seeing a map like this in an old poster, faded and crinkled, in one of District 5’s schoolrooms.

She flipped to another page, hoping Ray would turn his attention elsewhere. She wanted to survive and live. For the girl who’s name was chosen at the reaping and sent to the games. For the girl who never had the chance to grow up. For the girl who wanted to live.

Masterlist

[lyriclens]

BLOG #9

"Navigating Life's Journey Together: Analyzing Enhypen's 'Highway 1009'"

Enhypen, a South Korean boy band formed by Belift Lab, a joint venture between CJ ENM and Big Hit Entertainment, debuted in November 2020. The group consists of seven members: Heeseung, Jay, Jake, Sunghoon, Sunoo, Jungwon, and Ni-ki. Enhypen quickly rose to fame through the reality survival show "I-LAND," where the final lineup was determined. Known for their intricate storytelling, dynamic performances, and strong connection with fans, Enhypen has established themselves as one of the leading acts in the new generation of K-pop. Enhypen made their comeback with a 2nd Full Album "ROMANCE:UNTOLD" on July 12, 2024. R:U is an album that encapsulates different tracks with different genres and mainly focuses on expressing messages about love and companionship. Highway 1009 is the 8th track in the ROMANCE:UNTOLD album.

ENHYPEN's Highway 1009 is a track that expresses the feeling of a deep and enduring love, which also reflects the strong dedication and commitment the group has towards their fanbase, Engenes. Highway 1009 also captures the essence of companionship, perseverance, and the shared journey of life, conveyed as a heartfelt message to their fans. The song begins with the imagery of a clear blue sky, symbolizing new beginnings and hope, while the first departure for their journey is filled with laughter, which suggests the excitement of starting something new together. Despite hidden expectations and uncertainties, the lyrics emphasize trust and mutual support as key to navigating life's challenges.

Lyrics Analysis

The "rough off-road tracks" metaphorically represent the difficulties faced along the way. However, the sentiment "I don't care when I'm with you" signifies the strength derived from being together. This bond is further highlighted with lines like "Hold me tighter," which speaks to the need for emotional support and reassurance during tough times. This verse strongly suggests that no matter how hard a situation is, as long as the members and their fans are together, everything will be alright and at ease.

The lyrics "Give me your hands just a little bit more" and "Can you stay with me a little bit more?" reflect a plea for continued support and companionship. This recurring theme underscores the importance of staying together and supporting each other through life's ups and downs. The highway, referenced as "highway 1009," serves as a powerful metaphor for life's journey, with the promise of navigating it together with love and mutual reliance.

The lines "With you, everything will be alright" and "I'll hold you tight" convey a sense of comfort and stability. The imagery of "running past the sunset" and "crossing the endless road" symbolizes a journey with no end in sight, suggesting that no matter the obstacles, they will persist together. The phrase "be your engine now" implies being a driving force and source of strength for their partner, encouraging them to trust and follow without hesitation. This verse epitomizes a promise of enduring support and companionship. The song beautifully encapsulates the idea that with the right person by your side, any journey becomes bearable, and any challenge surmountable. This message resonates through the hopeful and uplifting tone of the song, creating an emotional connection with the listener.

Enhypen also released another version of Highway 1009, which is the Narr Version. Highway 1009 Narr Version consists of the track itself with the addition of narration or a short message from the members. These narrations are written in different languages; Tagalog, Thai, Chinese, Spanish, Korean, Japanese, and English. This particular move strongly implies inclusivity as the members used different language to convey messages that will be understood by a larger community. "I would not be here without you. Let's walk together, side by side, for eternity, " is the message conveyed in the narration that expressed the members' love and commitment towards their fans. This version of the track made the listening experience more emotional and memorable, especially for the fans.

"Highway 1009" ultimately conveys a powerful narrative of love, resilience, and the shared journey through life, with a focus on mutual support and the promise of enduring companionship. By addressing their fans directly, Enhypen reinforces the special bond they share, offering a sense of solidarity and gratitude for their continuous support.

Rating for "Highway 1009" by Enhypen

Lyrics: 9/10

The lyrics of "Highway 1009" are heartfelt and relatable, resonating deeply with listeners. The promise of unwavering support and companionship is poetically delivered, making it a standout feature of the song.

Vocals: 8.5/10

Enhypen's vocal performance is emotive and powerful, effectively conveying the song's message. The harmonies and individual vocal lines are well-executed, showcasing their vocal talents.

Production: 8/10

The production is polished and complements the emotional tone of the song. The instrumentation and arrangement enhance the lyrical content, providing a balanced and engaging listening experience.

Replay Value: 9/10

With its meaningful lyrics and strong vocal performance, "Highway 1009" has high replay value. Fans and new listeners alike will find themselves coming back to the song repeatedly.

Emotional Impact: 9/10

The song successfully evokes a sense of nostalgia, hope, and comfort. Its emotional depth and connection to Enhypen's relationship with their fans make it a moving and memorable track.

Overall: 8.7/10

"Highway 1009" by Enhypen is a beautifully crafted song that excels in lyrical content, vocal performance, and emotional impact. It stands as a testament to the group's talent and their bond with their fans.

[bcisurat]

Blood Cancer Awareness: Spreading Knowledge and Hope in the Community by the Best Cancer Specialist In Surat

Blood cancer, encompassing leukaemia, lymphoma, and myeloma and others, is a formidable adversary affecting millions worldwide. While navigating this ailment is challenging, awareness about this ailment can lead to early detection, treatment, and support. In this blog, some of the best cancer specialists in Surat, working at BCI- Blood and Cancer Institute, share the importance of spreading knowledge about blood cancer within communities, fostering understanding, solidarity, and ultimately, hope.

Understanding Blood Cancer:

Blood cancer originates in the bone marrow, where abnormal blood cells disrupt the production and function of healthy blood cells. Leukaemia affects white blood cells, lymphoma affects the lymphatic system, and myeloma impacts plasma cells. Our blood cancer specialists in Surat emphasize on understanding these distinctions since they are crucial in recognizing symptoms, seeking timely medical intervention, and comprehending treatment options.

Signs and Symptoms:

Awareness begins with recognizing the signs and symptoms of blood cancer. These may include persistent fatigue, unexplained weight loss, frequent infections, swollen lymph nodes, and easy bruising or bleeding. At BCI- one of the best blood cancer hospital in Surat, we frequently educate communities about these indicators so that individuals can promptly seek medical evaluation, potentially leading to earlier diagnosis and improved outcomes.

Importance of Early Detection:

Early detection is pivotal in the fight against blood cancer. Timely diagnosis allows for prompt initiation of blood cancer treatment in Surat, potentially halting the disease’s progression and enhancing the likelihood of successful outcomes. Through our awareness campaigns and educational initiatives, we encourage communities for regular health check-ups and screenings, empowering individuals to take charge of their well-being.

Treatment Options and Advances:

Understanding treatment options is essential for individuals diagnosed with blood cancer and their loved ones. Our Hemato-oncologists in Surat at BCI — Blood and Cancer Institute, use different treatment modalities including chemotherapy, radiation therapy, immunotherapy, targeted therapy, and stem cell transplantation, among others. Advances in medical research have led to the development of innovative therapies, offering renewed hope and improved survival rates for patients.

Supportive Care and Resources:

Apart from medical treatment, comprehensive care and support are integral aspects of leukaemia treatment in Surat. Community organizations, patient advocacy groups, and healthcare providers offer invaluable resources, ranging from emotional support services to financial assistance programs. By fostering a supportive environment, communities can uplift individuals and families affected by blood cancer, providing strength and solace during challenging times.

Raising Awareness:

Awareness drives action and encourages solidarity within communities. Through educational videos, awareness events, and social media campaigns, our blood cancer specialists in Surat at BCI — Blood and Cancer Institute, continuously raise awareness about blood cancer, dispel myths, and promote understanding. By sharing stories of resilience and triumph, communities can inspire hope and instill optimism in those facing the disease.

Empowering Advocacy:

Advocacy plays a pivotal role in shaping policies, promoting research funding, and enhancing access to care for individuals affected by blood cancer. By becoming advocates within their communities, individuals can amplify voices, champion initiatives, and effectuate positive change. Through collective action and advocacy efforts, communities can advocate for policies that prioritize blood cancer research, treatment, and support services.

Promoting Hope and Resilience:

Amidst the challenges posed by blood cancer, hope remains a powerful force, guiding individuals along their journey of healing and resilience. By fostering a culture of hope within communities, individuals can draw strength from one another, celebrate milestones, and navigate challenges with optimism and determination. Through unity and solidarity, communities can cultivate an environment where hope flourishes, illuminating paths to brighter tomorrows.

Conclusion

Blood cancer awareness works as a catalyst in uniting communities in a collective effort to combat the disease. Apart from spreading knowledge, fostering understanding, and promoting advocacy, communities can empower individuals affected by blood cancer, instilling hope and resilience in the face of adversity. As a community, we can collectively encourage citizens to opt for tests that lead to early detection, effective treatment, and supportive care, offering solace and support to those on their journey towards healing and recovery.

[kazooster]

just finished watching over the garden wall for the first time. cried.

[genshinarchives]

Aether, Dainsleif / gender-neutral reader.

Synopsis: Of all things, you became a seelie when you got isekai’d into your favourite game, Genshin Impact. You decide to make him fall for whatever charms you have left in hopes of being taken in as a pet to survive.

— ( Inspired by the manhwa Of All Things, I Became A Crow. Requests relating to this AU will be ignored. )

Headcanons: [ 1 ] / [ 2 ] / [ 3 ]

Scenarios: [ 1 ]

#AETHER

You were ecstatic when Aether chose you over the purple seelie; you didn’t want to be trapped in the glass container you had been captured in for an eternity shortly after being isekai’d into Genshin Impact.

Aether would be surprised by your immense enthusiasm to travel with him, and he laughs softly when you nuzzle his cheek. He certainly picked an affectionate seelie and doesn’t regret his choice at all.

Your intelligence comes as another surprise for him. He knows that seelies are good at finding treasures, but you seem to be a special case as the intelligence you possess is on par with a human’s. You’d help him solve the complicated puzzles scattered around Inazuma, and you don’t hide like his other pets when monsters show up! Like a true companion, you float by his side in battle, empowering him with your moral support. He truly appreciates you.

Aether takes really good care of you, and even Paimon pointed out how he seems to love you more than her. You don’t need to eat as a seelie, but he sometimes forgets that and ends up pushing the food he made against your blob-like body, earning a squeak of protest from you. He also tends to sleep while hugging you like a teddy bear; he didn’t think you were one to enjoy cuddles until he found you all nestled up in his arms one morning.

You’re an adorable and smart seelie, so of course you’d attract the attention of his friends. Childe complimented you on how brave you are to not poof out of existence when there’s danger, and Xiangling commented on how chewy you look… However, Aether’s greatest concern is Ayato; when the Yashiro Commissioner noticed how intelligent and loyal you are, he kept trying to bargain with Aether to keep you as his pet. Of course, Aether would shoot him down every time whilst holding you protectively.

Aether is used to people leaving him - but after embarking on many adventures with you as an extra companion, he can’t imagine things ever being the same if you suddenly disappeared one day. You’ve become an important presence in his life and he swears to protect you from Ayato. You and Paimon will always be with him, right? He didn’t realise he asked the question out loud until he feels you press against his lips, causing his cheeks to flush happily.

#DAINSLEIF

Your first encounter with Dainsleif was in Stormterror’s Lair. He was initially going to ignore you and continue his quest, but you had noticed him before he could leave. He’s caught off-guard when you suddenly barreled into his head with frantic squeaks, like you were trying to gain his attention. You wouldn’t leave him alone no matter what he told you, so he ended up letting you tag along.

He later notices that you’re not like any other seelie. You’re always trying to find ways to communicate with him, whether it’d be bumping against his head and then pointing at something with your blob-like paw, or writing on the sand in human language. Being the polite man he is, he would respond to your attempts at communication and soon finds himself talking to you whenever the silence becomes too much for him.

Dainsleif is surprisingly attentive towards you. He’s quick to pick up on your likes and dislikes, and would play with you for a bit if you persistently nudge his cheek with your seelie body. He’d poke and squish you until you get annoyed, your furious squeak eliciting a rare, amused smile from him. He would let you rest on top of his head if you’re tired of flying; his blond tresses make a good seelie nest.

Jealousy is a rare feeling for him - but you somehow were able to make him experience that unpleasant tightness in his chest when you met Aether for the first time. You squeaked loudly whilst flying around the traveler’s head as if you’re drunk before squishing yourself against his cheek. Aether was surprised by your sudden affection but didn’t protest as he smiled at you fondly. Before he had the chance to pet you, Dainsleif used his magic to drag you back to his side, reminding you that you’re already the companion of a handsome man.

Dainsleif only begins to suspect that your current form is not your real body when he catches a glimpse of a human in the reflection of the mystical mirror a Snezhnayan merchant was selling in Liyue.

He confronts you about it directly after observing you for a few days, and regardless of your answer, he’ll quietly ask you if he’s allowed to hold you for a moment. He’s been deprived of a companion and is touch starved for so long; the knowledge that an actual person has been accompanying him in the form of a seelie is able to relieve some of his burdens as an immortal.

Taglist: @coco-goat-milk​ @m3gitsune @wondrouslovelyflower @melkxsh @irethepotato @frostines-blog @vivisimpact​ @xxhome-is-where-ria-isxx​ @crunchy-princeles​ @sanzuulvr

[elegantillusions]

Usagi Tsukino / Sailor Moon

Represents: Love and Justice

Colours: Pink (her image colour). White sometimes (in royal forms). Blue, red and gold per her outfit.

Eye colour: Blue

Hair: Long, blonde and in buns with pigtails.

Role: Central figure of the story. Destined to rule and protect.

Personality: Caring, friendly, light-hearted, emotional, nonjudgmental, sincere, highly empathetic and persistent in showing it, protective of others, hopeful, can be bratty, prone to laziness, can get jealous, self-sacrificing, gets scared easily but is more courageous than anyone when she needs to be. Basically, she seems like a completely average normal person without anything special about her, until you put her in a tough situation; then she shows extreme courage and wisdom (based completely in love) and is willing to die for others if it means protecting them from evil.

Likes: Sleeping, reading manga, shopping, playing video games, food.

Dream: To be a bride. To protect the world with Mamoru and her friends.

Family: Mum, dad and little brother. Queen Serenity (her mum from her past life on the moon). Chibiusa (future daughter). Mamoru (future husband).

Love interests: Mamoru. Seiya (briefly in last season).

Usagi would be the character you would least expect to become a brave and capable warrior, let alone a princess and future queen. She’s a very ordinary girl and not too graceful. She often struggles with school, loves to go shopping, and prefers eating snacks and sleeping to fighting scary enemies. She was a very reluctant heroine who initially panicked at the thought of fighting, but over the series she was able to bring together all the Sailor Guardians and earn their trust. She eventually grew into her destiny with grace, accepting the call to protect the world from evil at the cost of an ordinary life. She leads by example, and the goodness of her heart and her innocent motives move even the most cynical of people. She would rather seek friendships than fight, going so far as to extend a hand of friendship to even her enemies. Throughout the series, she matures from being a somewhat lazy crybaby to a deeply loving young woman who sees the bigger picture better than most. As important as her survival is to the future kingdom, she is an innocent girl at heart who would lay down her life for others.

Element / Powers

Sailor Moon attacks with healing, light and love-based attacks. She calls upon the powerful Mystical Silver Crystal to channel her powers and undo evil.

Notable Attacks

Moon Tiara Action - charges her tiara with magic and throws it at the enemy for damage.

Moon Healing Escalation - uses the Moon Stick to spread a light that destroys evil. Her first healing technique.

Moon Princess Halation - she uses the Cutie Moon Rod to direct mystical energy at the enemy for damage.

Moon Spiral Heart Attack/Rainbow Moon Heartache - she twirls gracefully with the Cutie Moon Rod before kneeling and releasing its energy at the enemy.

Moon Gorgeous Meditation - using the Moon Kaleidoscope, Super Sailor Moon damages the enemy and seals them in a mirror dimension.

Starlight Honeymoon Therapy Kiss - Both an attack and healing technique. She uses the Eternal Tiare to disperse a light that damages and/or heals the enemy.

Silver Moon Crystal Power Kiss - her most powerful attack and healing technique. Drawing power directly from the Moon, Eternal Sailor Moon aims the fearful moonlight at the enemy using the Eternal Tiare.

[idiopath-fic-smile]

ooh, i have a really huge love for landers never stand down of starship iris fame — sometimes i will get the itchin and go listen to it like 20 times in a row. would love to hear the bts on that!!!!

ooh, def! (for reference, landers never stand down is here.)

this song, for anyone who doesn't know, is from my audio drama The Strange Case of Starship Iris. i was a little obsessed, in the early days of writing the show, with the fact that i didn't have a budget for music, which meant that any songs that made an appearance had to be stuff the characters in-world were singing, that i'd written. i've already spoken about my love of using songs as a shorthand for worldbuilding, and that was definitely the case here.

because the world of Starship Iris contains a lot of unjust systems, i wanted a defiant, hopeful song for the people to sing, something that Sana and Arkady would both know due to their common past.

the theme of the song is basically, "we have no room to fail and so we won't!" not the most useful, like, advice, but anthems don't need to be constructive. i was careful to use very simple chords, because this song was designed in-universe to be as accessible as possible, to better spread, in kind of a pete seeger way.

originally, there was a line "fancy words like surrender / we never learned right" and i think i might have Arkady sing that version at some point, but i think it's a song with a LOT of regional variation, and i didn't want to highlight this line in the "official" version because out of context it could come off as anti-intellectual or self-deprecating, since it's being sung by people on a prison colony without access to formal education. hopefully, it's clear in context that the line is ironic. "ohh, you think we're too stupid to know a word like 'surrender'? then i guess we have no option but to persist, motherfucker," that kind of energy.

"when they want you dead and gone / that's reason enough to carry on" was inspired by contemporary politics, but that may go without saying. speaking only from my privileged corner of white cis queerdom, i still find it disorienting sometimes how much some people hate, like, the abstract idea of me. i like the idea of thriving partly out of spite. i am not above it!

the choruses are basically the same, except at the end, the shift from "we will fight to survive" to "we will fight and survive." this was important to me, that they can see a future in which the fighting is over and the task at hand is life.

[theoptimisticdaydreamer]

Episode 3 continued to hit in the feels with incredibly relatable messages, struggles and pain. 

Witnessing Jae Soo’s pain as his story unfolded made me incredibly emotional. Watching him devote his life and exhaust himself in studying for the police exam yet never succeed was heart wrenching. He embodied the times when no matter how hard you’ve tried, you fail anyways. When you work so hard and have nothing to show for it. The words Joon Woong tells him “it feels like everyone is moving ahead but I’m the only one who’s lost my way. Like I am the only loser. Like I am the only one standing still”...I felt that in my core. His persistence to keep on trying is admirable but at some point the hopelessness sets in and the motivation dies. That is definitely where we see him at throughout this episode. 

I really appreciate that Goo Ryun and Ryung Gu were softer this episode. You can already see the influence of Joon Woong because the methods of the previous episode were not used this time (thank goodness). They recognized how important Jae Soo is to Joon Woong and just how personal this is to him. So, they listened to Joon Woong in regards to how to reach Jae Soo. I am sure that the Risk Management Team of Episode 2 would not have gone into the past... something that is now a banned practice.. persuaded the Director for the car to do so... to find fried chicken. I think because of how personal this is to Joon Woong, it made them care more too. Jae Soo is someone they cannot lose. Ryung Gu running out into the streets to prevent Jae Soo from being hit by a car and pleading him to wait for the chicken with desperation in his voice is the most caring I have seen him be thus far. 

Going into the past was also heartbreaking and incredibly relatable. Seeing the optimism in young Jae Soo’s voice despite all that is occurring when the audience can see the cracks and holes in the dad’s facade really highlights what it is to be innocent. What Goo Ryun told Joon Woong about how human memory is selective and that it keeps the good, discards the bad and wraps up the past in nostalgia in order to survive, hits home. It is so true that in order to make it day by day, you cannot remember everything and so your brain protects you in making some details fuzzy in order to lessen the pains and the trauma of the past. Your memory highlights moments of happiness (even if they were fleeting) just so that you have something to hold on to when life is bleak. The fond memories that Jae Soo told Joon Woong about fried chicken with his dad seem to be protective memories because the realities of his sixth birthday were very sad. Visiting his mother who is sick in the hospital with his dad who cannot afford to pay for anything including sending him to kindergarten (the same kindergarten he used as reasoning to make Joon Woong his friend), it definitely makes sense that all of those details are fuzzy in recollection. The likelihood that his dad took his life to provide life insurance money for his wife and son. The devastation he must have felt waiting for his dad at the hospital for his dad to never come. With the words that Jae Soo told Ryung Gu, I have a strong feeling that there was no fried chicken with his dad that day. 

The friendship of Jae Soo and Joon Woong is priceless. I love how Joon Woong was aware of how Jae Soo was being bullied and initially did not want to step in because he thought it would make things worse. Yet, it was Jae Soo’s hilarious logic that because they went to the same kindergarten and are in the same class now, it automatically makes them friends. Joon Woong reads Jae Soo’s name tag and within five seconds was like Friends? Friends. This sealed their friendship forever. It speaks to how they know each other that it was Joon Woong’s texts of the words Jae Soo always told him that was the only thing that got him out of his apartment. He ran on foot to the hospital because he hoped that it was Joon Woong talking to him. I can’t imagine what it was like for him to see your best friend seizing up in front of you, how painful that must have been. Their close bond was emphasized when it was the little mannerisms that Jae Soo noticed when Joon Woong came to console him that made him realize that it was Joon Woong even when Joon Woong did not look like himself. The straw in the beer provided him comfort and allowed him to cry and let out all of his emotions for the first time in a long time. I am sure that if Joon Woong was not there in that moment with the straw in the beer, Jae Soo would have ended his life then. 

I knew that the feels were going to take me at the beginning of the episode when Joon Woong visited his family’ apartment and talked to his dad’s altar. To know that Joon Woong’s coma and the anniversary of his dad’s death happened within days of one another killed me on the inside. The pain his family must be experiencing. I am glad to know that Joon Woong has a sister. I love her already. No harm must come to her. She is their mom’s rock right now and is providing the hope to get them through. I think if it was just the mom, I would be worried that she would spiral into endless sorrow and be on the red-light radar. I pray PRAY that both the mom and the sister are not souls that end up needing saving. Just watching Joon Woong break down outside the door listening to his family makes me desire above all else that he can reunite with his family at the end of this. Please. 

I enjoyed the little tidbits of character background that we got this episode. Knowing that Goo Ryun used to head the unit that brought criminals to Hell makes so much sense. Her methods of dealing with people just haven’t changed since then. She did not need compassion or tact when dealing with criminals. I am overjoyed to already see that Joon Woong is a positive influence in that way. Her also being part of the Elite Unit could help to explain the past between her and Joong Gil-- previously colleagues and now rival colleagues. I think how that Special Crimes Unit disbanded is part of the reason why they continue to butt heads now. They worked together before and I cannot wait for them to work together again. You also got a better look into Ryung Gu this episode too. When Goo Ryun said personal feelings can help sometimes, Ryung Gu looked affected by that statement. Personal feelings could be how he got into this position, why he is adamant on keeping set hours and what he is trying to find. He also has a streak of mischief in him which is probably why he and Goo Ryun get along so well. 

I appreciated the flashes of comedy that occurred in this episode. It was much needed after the angst of the previous episode. It is great that this comedy is a part of the dynamic of the trio. From the way that Goo Ryun looked delighted at the idea of having Joon Woong do anything she wanted him to, to Ryung Gu purposefully choosing a middle-aged man to be Woong Jun (Joon Ryung’s new face) it was hilarious. I really enjoyed the scene where Joon Ryung is trying on a suit being really excited and Goo Ryun tells him that he looks like a rag doll. He poses with a cocky expression at one point and Goo Ryun without missing a beat tells him to turn around. It is totally older sister younger brother-dynamic and I can’t wait to die laughing at the moments of humor we get going forward. When he bounced behind her on the way to get the time traveling car and was excited for all of the fancy cars only to immediately deflate and get pouty at the tiny old car gave off all the puppy vibes. I enjoyed the silent stare off between Goo Ryun and one of the octuplets over the car key and the dynamic between Goo Ryun and the Director. You can tell that they love her. Ryung Gu and Joo Woong reminds me of two headbutting cousins. They do not get along entirely yet and of the two of them, Goo Ryun seems to be warmer towards Joon Woong already. I think Ryung Gu at the same time also enjoys having a subordinate and putting him through his paces (though why he did not tell Joon Woong straight out that he could not be near his physical body is beyond me). Seeing how Ryung Gu is invested in Jae Soo because of his connection with Joon Woong gives me hope that they will get along better in the future. I cannot wait to see everyone get closer!

Also can’t not mention Joong Gil. For the minutes that he was on screen, he once again was a scene stealer. I love how he came on to the scene and without hesitation rescued Joon Woong by dragging him away from his physical body. I would love for in the future this pattern to repeat with Joon Woong getting himself into sticky situations and Joong Gil reluctantly coming to his rescue (with Joon Woong growing on him every time). You can already tell that they are similar enough to both be conned by the cult in the epilogue (which was hilarious). He could have said worse to the trio while he was there but he didn’t. I really hope he doesn’t come to escort Jae Soo and they are able to successfully save Jae Soo. 

The cliffhanger was heartwrenching. I have a bad feeling that Joon Woong will see Jae Soo’s dad’s truck crash into the other truck in front of his eyes. I also don’t think it is fried chicken that will be what helps Jae Soo but Joon Woong. How if he takes his life and Joon Woong wakes up from his coma, Joon Woong will be devastated. Joon Woong is waiting for him. Maybe it is Joon Woong’s family that comforts Jae Soo and reminds him that he has people who support him and people who don’t want to lose him. 

The preview for the next episode looks interesting. I think it is another situation in which if they would only give time for Joon Woong to work his magic, all of the parties will leave quietly. All the female ghost wants to do is say goodbye properly. She just needs to do that one thing and then she will happily be escorted. So if Joong Gil could look away from his rule book for five seconds, I am sure that his job will not be hard whatsoever. I think there will be an oh moment for Joong Gil where he realizes the simplicity of her request and her motivation. C’mon Joong Gil, lets show some UNDERSTANDING. 

[formashimataichi]

I mean I love tchy and their growth throughout the series and as that person said that even if they had to get together it'd still be a deconstruction of unhealthy romance tropes bcs they have learnt/are learning from their past experience but I also agree with you on rest of the things like if I didn't love taichihayarata and accept chrt I couldn't imagine enjoying it to the extent I do as of now,and in the end i'd just want him to get a worthy conclusion after developing amazingly all this time (sorry if I said too much,I still really like your blog,your unbiased-ness in reading amazes me I hope to reach that level of tolerance one day/pos)

No worries, I understand what you're saying! That's precisely what I love about Taichi and Chihaya's relationship, is the thing, and what still makes it one of my favorite relationships explored in the entire manga despite the fact that I don't ship it anymore. I think it's very rare to see a narrative so dedicated not just to deconstructing the development of harmful behaviors within a relationship like theirs, but also emphasizing on how people can change for the better and ensure the survival of their relationships with the people they care about if they address certain behaviors. There's been so much time and effort put into helping Taichi and Chihaya move past their codependency on each other while staying true to the fact that they're always going to be supporting each other, even from afar, and it's incredibly endearing to me. It's so often in shoujo / josei that we see "second love interests" fade away into the background because their importance outside of the romance is irrelevant, but what Suetsugu seems to really solidly establish with Taichi is that he's not just important to the narrative because of his feelings for Chihaya. He's important for being his own person with his own problems and with his own dreams, and we get to see those explored at length because he's an integral part of the story in aspects beyond one subsection of genre. Even more gratifying is that, past all of that, his relationship with Chihaya is still important and shown as worth maintaining. They don't suddenly disappear from each other's lives, and the narrative doesn't give up on their friendship. It's allowed to persist and help them grow even while it's evolving into something better than what it used to be, and that's something really refreshing to do in a genre that often doesn't know how to reconcile unrequited love between friends without making one party or the other permanently disappear. Obviously, it's painful to have to transition from that state of loving someone romantically and accepting that they'll never feel the same way about you, and it's definitely something that Taichi is still in the process of, rather than it being resolved within him completely; but I find it to be very hopeful that Suetsugu insists on the importance of believing in our relationships and caring about people and recognizing that romantic love and platonic love do hold equal, if distinct, ground in our lives. In general, her entire perspective on human relationships is very hopeful, and I think that can be a bit jarring for readers who expect otherwise. People need people. That's something she's worked hard to emphasize from the beginning of this tale to its end.