#the real answer is go to a doctor but i hate my doctor and im sure no matter what ill just get told to lose weight if i want | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

notiddygxthgf · 11 months

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★ pairings: suguru geto x satoru gojo, satosugu

★ synopsis: Suguru Geto struggles with letting people in after leaving a three-year-long abusive relationship. Enter Satoru Gojo, the boy who doesn't seem to take no for an answer.

★ c.w.: slow burn, mutual pining, explicit sexual content, dub con elements, implied/referenced rape/non-con, mahito is a real abusive asshole, past relationship(s), past abuse, recovery, hurt, comfort, vent fic, based on my shitty ex, my therapist told me it'd be a good idea idk, im a good writer I swear, brought to u by the bch who wrote best friend's brother!choso, sexual tension, new love, fluff, angst, smutt, graphic, psychological trauma, theres a happy ending in here I swear, angst with a happy ending, psychological trauma, PTSD, idiots in love, sexy smut I swear.

★ a/n: NGL I kinda hate how this turned out. but! it had to be done! I had to get it out of the way. the way I think this is gonna work is past flashbacks first, present time next. it's gonna prob alternative between the two for a while. comment your thoughts! let me hear u! feel free to slander mahito... he plays the shitty ex.

★ w.c.; 3.4k

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𝐔 𝐍 𝐅 𝐎 𝐑 𝐓 𝐔 𝐍 𝐀 𝐓 𝐄 𝐀 𝐈 𝐋 𝐌 𝐄 𝐍 𝐓

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PROLOGUE

2019. MONTH UNKNOWN.

I WAS ONLY 12 YEARS OLD the first time I tried to kill myself. In retrospect, I can’t possibly imagine what could have been so important to little me that he firmly believed he would rather die than live without it. I wish I could say that I had a difficult life. That simply was not the case. I grew up with two loving parents and a kind brother, in a small town where every friend I’d ever had was within a mile of me at any given point in time. We weren’t rich, but we most certainly weren’t poor. I had everything a child could ask for and so much more.

Again, I wish that I could say I had a difficult life, but that simply was not the case.

It’s just that I’ve had these… thoughts for as long as I can remember. An unfortunate ailment, if you will. No matter what I did, there always seemed to be something missing. Something I felt I would spend my whole life searching for – or at least trying to supplement.

At 12 years old, I planned my first attempt.

It didn’t work.

So, now, faced with the unbearable burden of deciding what I was going to do for the rest of my life, I chose to pursue a childhood dream of mine. I wanted to go to school to become a doctor. I didn’t know what kind, per se, but I knew that I wanted to heal.

Maybe I thought, I don’t know… that if I healed enough people, I may have been rid of the ailment – healed, myself.

So I left my small town, enrolling in an academy 30 minutes away from the house. I got into their Healthcare program. Again, what more could a kid want?

Yet the void inside of me only grew larger, more ravenous. I lost touch with all of my small town friends – one by one. I had no one.

But I was pursuing my passion, right? Why wasn’t it enough?

It was in that godforsaken academy that I met him.

“Pick a card,” he asked me. His grey eyes were so sharp, even then. “Any card.”

I glanced down at the fanned-out deck in his pale hand, eyes crawling over the many different suits and shapes before eventually settling on an ace. I pulled the card out.

Ace of spades. I tried to memorize it. I also, coincidentally, tried my best to ignore the incessant thrum of my racing heartbeat against my veins, my arteries, my chest. He was sitting so close to me.

It was just the two of us in the hallway. Just me and him and the infinite space between us, the small gap between my right shoulder and his left.

I handed it back to him. “What are you doing?” I asked.

He slipped the card back into the deck without looking. He shuffled it once, twice, three times. Made a bridge with his hands and let the cards fall back into place. I watched with a remarkable sense of interest.

“Is this your card?” He tucked a stray blue hair behind his ear, producing a card.

I furrowed my brows, about to say something, when I noticed something off about the card. It was different. Where there once was a large blue spade, there now was a small, torn piece of lined paper taped to the surface. The gray lettering on the handwritten note read,

WILL U GO OUT W/ ME?

My eyes went as wide as saucers. My mouth lolled open, lips shaped around his cursed name, “Mahito, I…”

I thought of my parents. I thought of my religious father. What would he say? What would he say if he found out his 14-year-old son was a homosexual?

I thought of my parents, and I bit my lip, “I don’t know if I can… I don’t know. What if my dad finds out?”

Mahito tucked the deck of cards neatly into the pocket of his black cargo pants. His hoodie was rolled up to his elbows, revealing intricate stick-and-poke linework over his forearms. He shrugged, humming, “Who says he has to?”

The tardy bell rang. We were late for first period.

My mouth opened by itself again. At fourteen, I wasn’t so sure I was ready to lie to my father about something so serious. Not yet.

Seemingly sensing my hesitance, Mahito laid a hand on my stiff shoulder. “Hey,” he muttered softly. “Think about it. Give me your answer after school, yeah? We’ll meet here at 3:30.”

And then he slipped away with a quiet, ‘See ya’.

Without confirmation.

In his absence, I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat.

2019 February.

Mahito ran away from home two weeks into our relationship. Ran away without so much as a notice or a warning. Ran away and left me there to assume the worst. He didn’t live in the best area. Perhaps he was staying with a friend? If not, was he dead in a ditch somewhere?

There was no way to tell.

He could have at least told me, I had thought. Then again, would I have tried to stop him? Undoubtedly.

They issued a missing persons alert the day after he didn’t show up. I remember seeing the poster all over my social media, all over the streetlights and posts.

It didn’t seem real. Even as I held the missing poster in my trembling hand, I remember feeling numb. I remember feeling as if this were all some sort of cruel prank, that he would be back just in time for our after-school walk with a smile on his face.

But there he was, smiling up at me from the page in my hand.

MISSING PERSON: MAHITO

Height: 5’8

Weight: 150

Eye color: gray

Hair color: blue

Remarkable features: tattoos on arms

Last seen: February 14th.

I crumpled the piece of paper up, tossing it across my messy bedroom with a sigh. I hadn’t slept last night, and I wouldn’t have slept tonight either.

I sunk into myself, curled into a ball on my twin-sized mattress – the same one I’d had for as long as I could remember – and cried. I was utterly inconsolable. I cried until my voice was hoarse, until there were no more tears left to cry.

Until my phone buzzed.

I assumed it was another homework notification. I didn’t check. What did it matter? In my eyes, my world had stopped spinning. It had stopped the moment he ran away.

But it buzzed again, and again.

It was then that I realized I was getting a call. Begrudgingly, I picked my phone up off of the bed. I turned it over. The screen was lit up with the words ‘NO CALLER ID’.

I wanted to hang up. Desperately. Wanted to save myself a shred of peace and dignity and move on with my night – in hindsight, I probably should have just hung up when I had the chance. But, no, I felt something in my gut call out to me.

Against my better judgment, I answered, “Hello?”

The line crackled. “Suguru?”

Suguru.

My heart leapt up into my throat. With wide eyes, I answered again, “Who’s this?”

“Suguru, it’s me, Mahito,” He sighed with relief, like he hadn’t expected me to pick up. Truth be told, I hadn’t expected it either. “I’m sorry I couldn’t call you sooner, my love. I’m calling you from a phone booth right now.”

My love. The nickname sounded like honey coming from his lips, but I knew it was laced with venom. Still, as would seem to be the trend, I was weak for it.

My eyes began to water again, somehow. “Where are you?”

I knew better than to call him ‘baby’. Not when my father was sleeping in the room next to mine.

“I can’t tell you that right now,” He answered. Of course, he couldn’t. There always seemed to be something he was hiding from me. I didn’t see it that way back then. “Look, I don’t have much time to talk, I–”

“I’ve been worried sick about you, Mahi,” I spoke again. I felt numb. So numb. “Please, just–”

“I stole ten grand from my mom,” He cut me off. “I’m running away from home. The abuse, it’s just– I can’t. I can’t, anymore.”

His mother was a real piece of shit. I knew that. She never wanted Mahito, not as a single mother. So she tried multiple times to be rid of him – beating him senseless with hangers and wires and even going so far as to attempt to poison him on his birthday.

Still, ten grand was a lot of money.

Stolen.

“I’m on the run from the cops, I– I think they’re trying to find me,” He panted into the microphone. “You can’t tell anyone, okay? You gotta lie for me.”

I felt sick. Sick to my fucking stomach.

“I’m sorry, I…” I trailed off, holding back vomit. “Hold on.”

I ran to the bathroom and promptly emptied the contents of my stomach into the sink. I had just eaten mac and cheese an hour or so ago, and the vomit was tinted yellow. I could still see a few noodles here and there, only partially digested.

It made me want to hurl again.

“You okay?” he asked me.

“Am I– No, I’m not fucking okay, Mahito! First, you run away without–” I had to swallow bile a second time. I felt it burn as it slid back down my throat. “You could have fucking warned me , or something, and now you’re calling me at eleven at night to tell me you’re fleeing the fucking cops?”

He paused. “I know,” he said. “I know, I’m sorry. You know I love you.”

And immediately, like some sort of magic trick, I felt my exterior soften. I didn’t even care that we were only a few weeks into our relationship. He was my first. It was like he knew the effect he had on me.

“Suguru,” he said again. “I love you.”

His words were like honey. I took a spoonful.

“I love you, too,” I sighed into the receiver.

“You’ll keep quiet about this for me, right?”

I was weak for him, as always.

“Okay,” I said.

I found myself sitting at my desk in the middle of the day, struggling to concentrate on the lesson. The classmates at my table – more like a group of desks placed together – were talking about the missing boy.

My missing boy.

They were talking to me, actually, but I had long since tuned them out. It was all a blur for me – a blur of faces and voices and words I didn’t want to hear.

“He’s a freak,” The boy across from me, Choso Kamo, remarked. “If I were you, I’d break things off before it’s too late.”

Choso’s critical words sent a sharp pang right through my rotten heart.

“Exactly,” My friend, Shoko, chimed in. She was a pretty thing, about a few inches shorter than me with brown hair up to her chin. She always looked so tired . I wonder if she recognized that I felt the same. “He’s got some serious issues. Guys like that rarely make for healthy relationships.”

Choso leaned in, leaned over the desk to offer more of his thoughts, “You can’t just ignore the fact that more people are catchin’ on, either. What if your dad finds out? You know he thinks that… kind of stuff is wrong.”

Choso was Shoko’s friend. He wasn’t homophobic. A little misguided, but he had the spirit. Hell if he weren’t a raging heterosexual, I might have even gone for him instead. He had that look I liked – sleepy, downturned, dark eyes framed by messy bangs. He never wore colors. He was content to make a statement in black. Black eyeliner, black shirt, black doc martens, black hair done up into two messy pigtails.

It was his signature look.

Our classmates didn’t take too kindly to ‘emos’ like him, though. He was an outcast. Hell, we all were. That’s why we sat together, after all.

The harsh opinions of my classmates threatened to erode my self assurance. I knew people were talking – people always talked. I knew the hushed whispers of my name as I walked past people and cliques in the mornings on my way to class weren’t a hallucination.

I knew I had to stand by my boyfriend. I knew I had to stand by Mahito, but the weight of their disapproval put a strain on my shoulders. Does anyone want to hear that their friends don’t approve of their partner?

Admittedly, he wasn’t a very good partner. He had demonstrated that much in the first few weeks of our relationship. I knew he wasn’t good for me, but, fuck, I wanted to try. I wanted to make things work so badly that I ached for it. Everyone else knew he wasn’t good for me, too.

But, fuck, was I naive to wish I could prove them all wrong?

In my eyes, he was only misunderstood. The ghosting, the red flags, the alarming behavior… I could see past it all because I loved him. My first love. No one understood him the way I did. How could I blame them for their concerns?

It didn’t matter how many voices I had in my ear telling me it was wrong. Soon, he would come home to me, and I would feel his skin against my cheek as I hugged him hello. That’s all that mattered.

How could that be wrong?

“It’s not wrong. How could it be?” I kept my gaze trained on my desk. My vision was blurry, unfocused. My mind felt numb and detached. I muttered. “I love him. He loves me, too. He told me he did.”

He did.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Choso and Shoko exchange a dubious look.

They didn’t understand him the way I did.

“He told me he loved me,” I repeated the words like a mantra, like a reminder to myself that I was fighting for something.

That as long as I was loved by him, I would be okay.

He called again that night. Earlier, this time, at nine o’clock.

I was in the shower at that time, curled up on the floor, sobbing into my arms. The water streamed past my shoulders, my arms, my nose. I glanced over at the screen through blurry eyes.

NO CALLER ID.

I closed my eyes. I took a deep breath.

Then, I let the call ring.

Current Day.

[12:13 PM]

[Automated]: you have 3 new messages. Play back?

[USER] Selected:

[NO] ...

... [View Inbox]

...

[ Last 6 Years ].

[REPLAY>>] Message from 'Blocked Number'.

Transcription:

" Suguru, this is me, Mahito. I don’t know if you can hear me or not– I don’t know if anyone can hear you or not, so please use headphones, or something, I don’t know. I just wanted to call and make sure you’re okay. I’m gonna try and call you later. Right now you seem to not be answering your phone for some reason. Doesn’t matter, though. I’m not in a really good place, right now, I’m… surrounded by a lot of people. So, um.. I just wanted to say that I love you, and I’ll call you a little bit later, okay? Bye– kisses…….”

[End of Transcription]

[Automated]: Would you like to play the next message?

[ Yes. ]

“ Suguru, is this– this is me, Mahito. Um.. I just wanted to say that I’m okay. Nothing has happened to me yet. I’m perfectly safe. I’m in a laundromat somewhere. And, uh, I said I love you… I don’t know why you’re not answering my calls… You know that I always try to text you whenever I can– and try to… call you, but… I don’t know, maybe you’re too depressed, or some shit. Maybe you’re mad at me. I understand. I– what I did was wrong, I… What I did was idiotic, and what I did was stupid, and shitty… And I understand if you’re mad at me and you don’t wanna answer my calls. So, yeah, I gues… I’ll try to call you again tomorrow.

If you’re hearing this voicemail, but you probably won’t, um… I just want you to know that I love you. And I’m trying to do my best just… to see you again. You like pizza, don’t you? How about we do a pizza date sometime, yeah? Somewhere around next week, maybe. Huh? How about that? Sounds cool, right? Yeah, yeah it does. Um, anyway, I… gotta… I gotta go. I have to… do some things. Uh… uh… at least I love you.

And, I– I might not have brought much with me, but I have the little stuffie that you gave me. It’s in my book bag. Not gonna take it out because people are gonna know what my things look like. I’m always gonna keep these memories close to my heart. I don’t care what anybody says. Even if I go to prison, I’m taking this shit with me. Alright? Um, I guess that’s it. And… last thing? I love you.

Please, answer me. If you’re calling, that means you actually care, but if you don’t, then… it’s fine. Don’t recall this number. I’m not gonna respond. This is just some random guy’s phone. Okay? Um… I love you, and please stay safe. Please don’t worry, I’m still alive. I miss you. Okay, bye, I love you.”

[End of Voicemails Received on February 18th, 2019].

[Automated]: Would you like to replay the messages?

[ No. ]

[ Delete ] > [ All messages from {Blocked Number}]

[Automated]: Are you sure?

[Yes]

[Automated]: Deleting all messages from {Blocked Number}.

THE WIND BLEW IN HEAVY from below, sending a plethora of leaves flying out in all directions. As I knelt down to test the current with my fingers, my boots sank deeper into the muddy riverside.

I sat on the bench in front of the riverbed. Wiping my fingers dry on the fabric of my denim jeans, I took a moment to take in my surroundings. The park was mostly empty, save for a few teenagers

The water always looked pretty this time of year. For a few moments, you stood there drinking in the sight of it.

In the present, I sat alone in front of the serene lake, surrounded by the picturesque beauty of nature. Lush green trees lined the shore, their leaves rustling in the gentle breeze. The scent of damp earth and the distant call of birds created a peaceful atmosphere, contrasting with the turmoil in my mind.

I watched as groups of carefree teenagers ran around, their laughter and joy a stark contrast to the heavy weight I carried in my heart. A deep sigh escaped my lips as I averted my gaze towards the shimmering water.

I wished for the water to possess the power to cleanse me, to wash away the burdens that weighed on my soul.

The sound of the water rushing past was almost deafening, drowning out the laughter of the teenagers. It consumed my thoughts, leaving me with an overwhelming feeling of dread and isolation. I yearned for the water to offer solace, as if it held the key to absolution and a fresh start, but it remained an unsettling reminder of my own inner turmoil.

I had a vision every time I came here for some peace of mind. It was the same vision every single time. It plagued me every time I found myself in front of the water. It was an image of me, standing at the water's edge, and then, with a deep sense of despair, throwing myself into it, sinking into the abyss and drowning.

As I sat there, the scenery around me seemed to blur, and the vision of my drowning self played on a loop in my mind, a relentless nightmare that I couldn't escape. The lake, which should have been a source of tranquility, had become a symbol of my pain and a relentless reminder of my inner struggles.

It seemed to call to me. I could almost hear the wind carry my name.

Suguru.

The water always looked pretty this time of year. I sat there watching it for a moment too long, wondering what it would feel like to be enveloped by the cold current, to feel it wash me away.

And, again, the sound of the current grew louder. Deafening. Consuming me.

a/n: l comment and lmk what u think pookiesss

comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

I obviously do not own jjk or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

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caffeinat3 · 2 months

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⚠️SPOILS!!⚠️ DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED LITTLE NIGHTMARES 1, DLC AND 2!!

y'all gotta remember, they're just kids.

for Little Nightmares 3 coming in 2025, i just decided to write a post to remind fans about the villainizing and bias towards each individual kid. specifically Six and Mono.

naturally, you'd get the feeling of hating Six after letting go of Mono at the end of the 2nd game. also the part where she eats one of the nomes which is later to be revealed as RK. but, guys, the thing is too is that they are literally children fighting to survive this environment that's trying to kill them 24/7. their first survival instinct is to save themselves. everything they do is what they practically need to do to survive. distractions? to survive. even if it turns off a Patient's life support. [imma be real though, it's even more cruel to let them live. have you seen the other Patients?] even if they shoot someone. it's all on instinct. self - defense. they might not even WANT to do it but, dude, they're not just gonna stand there and just die. Six is canonically 9 and there's a popular headcanon of Mono being 10. not what sure RK's age is but it hardly matters. what matters is THOSE ARE KIDS. NOT EVERYTHING THEY DO IS ALL GOODY GOODY. it's to SURVIVE!

Six let go of Mono because she thought he was going to hurt her. said in an interview, she canonically recognized the Thin Man's facial structure in Mono and, well, the Thin Man hurt her. my first instinct would be to save myself too. maybe there could have been more trust, but man do i empathize with her. same for when she eats RK. she was in pain, could you not tell? the Hunger was getting worse and i doubt that she couldn't take anything NOT alive for an answer. the power and urge increased each and every time she got Hungry. also how was she to know that the nomes were kids?

personally, i prefer Mono over Six only because of his design and how he expresses his personality in the 2nd game but that doesn't mean that i can't defend Six either. they're all kids. they hardly know right from wrong so stop villainizing them. [i get extremely sad whenever i think of Mono its almost incomprehensible.] Mono being able to burn the Doctor was probably a choice we'd all consider if we were in his situation so don't even go there. Mono electrocuting the Viewers was self - defense. he is not going to die for the sake of pretty much already dead people. same for RK with the Granny. please, stop that. and about Mono "ignoring" Six's cries for help from the Thin Man, he seemed to be in pain too, clutching his ears. he tried to save her in the end, so clearly he regretted not helping even if that "betrayal" was on purpose.

if Low and Alone do anything even hinted at being "evil", God help me if anyone already hates them just because they're surviving. don't be a fool. empathize for each individual child and wonder if you'd do the same thing in their situation. because im sure more than half of us would do the same things that they would do.

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manic-badlands93 · 17 days

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Staying off of Twitter for a while to avoid any and all spoilers, haha.

I cant wait to hear the album as it was intended. To be surprised by the songs/themes/messages so forth.

My friend asked me today what my favorite album was and I was like “I don’t know…”

And she’s like if you were forced to delete every album off your phone and keep one, which would it be? And I was like..I’d just listen to the physical media. The what if scenarios continued… you get it lol.

But the truth is, I think Halsey’s albums all had their own impacts on us (cool thing about music, right?)

When I found Badlands, I was in my first big kid job. I hated it. I hated every day. I told myself I should be more thankful, but I was just so mad at the world for life being so unfair. It was truly just such an uplifting and gritty listening experience.

Hopeless Fountain Kingdom came after my first real heartbreak. I sobbed and sobbed singing bad at love on the top of my lungs.

Manic, and I was at my loneliest. I really felt like no one could understand what I was going through— it really got me through the darkest time in my life.

IICHLIWP- a time when I felt confident about who in we and the type of people i let into my life. The parts of my body i once hated, I marvelously celebrated during this time (could have also been that i hit my 30s and no longer gave AF, but it came at the right time.

TGI- the time when i got/am sick. Navigating countless doctor visits, no real answers, countless medications, friendship circle getting smaller. But so eager to bounce back into the world once im healed— and praying every day i will be better.

So no, I can’t pick a favorite album. How could I when every single album appeared when I needed it the most.

#halsey #manic #badlands #if i cant have love i want power #iichliwp #lucky #h5 #the great impersonator #lonely is the muse #life of the spider

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alisria · 5 months

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i know i am just smad because im tired and in pain and havent eaten in 12 hours and have no plans to but

i think as i approach 30 i am really starting to lose my mind a little bit about how ive spent 27 years putting my life on hold until X. like oh i will go out and do new things when i have X. i cant enjoy travelling until i have X. i cant be happy until i have X. and like. X doesnt seem possible anymore. i dont have the willpower to make it happen. i dont care enough. because i never gave myself anything to care about because that was something that would come after X. well what the fuck do i do when X never comes? feel like this forever? because ive certainly been dealing with that reality my entire life. and i can look at my friends and see they dont need X to be happy and thats fine and im so glad for them and i dont WANT them to need X but i do.

and it's like. okay well if X is my obstacle, what are the steps i need to take to get X? okay well join your support groups. go to your doctor. get more doctors. beg for help with X from them. from your family. and then the support groups say "you dont want it enough", the doctors say "you shouldnt want X at all", and your family doesnt answer your pleas because what you want doesn't matter, you dont want it enough, you should be doing other things, etc. and it's like. all my life i have felt like an absolutely massive part of me is missing. and the only thing that will fix it is X. doctor will give you vyvanse. doctor will give you all the hormones you can dream of without you even fucking asking. doctor will offer gender affirming surgery you dont even want. but you beg for X, you beg for help just getting closer to X, you write out a page of reasons why X would get you closer to finally feeling like a real person, like yourself, a self you havent even fucking met yet at nearly 30 years old, and doctor goes "ehhh well you need to learn to be happy without X. because you can't have it." and its like well girl what the FUCK do i do because thats the only thing ive literally ever wanted and i've structured my entire life over the pipe dream of maybe having it someday and i CANT have anything else until i have X and they kind of shrug and give you another doctor that goes yeah no you dont get a diagnosis and nothing is wrong with you and i wont help you get X so no more appointments call me if you need me but doctor i am fucking pagliacci.

and there's that nagging thought, that if i get X, nothing will change. the support groups tell you this. nothing will change. you will still be socially inept, you will still be mentally ill with agoraphobia, you will still struggle every fucking day of your life with choices that tear you apart. and i can hear that for 10 years and still feel incomplete without it. i am defective goods and i need a part installed and people either say "well you dont need that part to work!" "you can be happy without the part!" "you can never have the part, even if you get it installed it will never work so why even bother?" and this is supposed to feel like support. this is supposed to be positivity. but it's not. maybe it is for other people. but it isnt for me. but i can have hormones if i want!!!!! here you can transition wont that make you feel better!!!!! wont that make you hate yourself less!!!!! have as many hormones as you want!!!!!!!

and on tuesday im going to go to the doctor and smile and say everythings great im fine physiotherapy is working the meds are working everything is perfect see you in 3 months when i am quite literally rotting inside and there is no cure

im going to bed

#not looking for advice or consolation or anything like that i am just frustrated and upset and tired #and at the end of my rope. thanks #i will be fine tomorrow after i sleep and take vyvanse so i dont feel so fucking hungry anymore #sick to my fucking stomach lmao

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lesbicosmos · 3 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers!!

saw @celestialcrowley did this and it looked fun!! im pausing writing my current WIP for this

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

as of right now, 27 but i have another 3 currently in the works (dead boy detectives has turned my brain into fanfic soup and i love it)

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

89,795 (what the fuck how did i do that)

3. what fandoms do you write for?

currently only working on dead boy detectives ones but ive also written dead poets society, merlin, good omens, doctor who and supergirl

4. top 5 by kudos?

the great petname debacle of '24 (dead boy detectives) - 398

it feels real to me now, it felt real to me then (dead boy detectives) - 354

hope that you're good to me, baby (supergirl) - 292

'cause it was always you, alright (dead boy detectives) - 228

we should just kiss like real people do (good omens) - 166

5. do you respond to comments?

yes!! i try to respond to all of them because they're so good, there's no better feeling than an ao3 comment notification <33

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably either the last one i wrote, where did i go wrong? i lost a friend (dead boy detectives, post-canon) or no grave can hold my body down (a really niche dead poets society / afterlove au) but neither of them are Angsty, i don't write a lot of angst lmao

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most of my others lmao, currently id say it feels real to me now, it felt real to me then but that's just because it's a recent one that i remember writing the ending of

8. do you get hate on fics?

i don't think i ever have

9. do you write smut?

no, i tried once when i wrote my supergirl fic but it was shit so i scrapped that part 😭

10. craziest crossover?

i guess the dead poets / afterlove one but it's also my Only crossover soooo

i tend to think about crossovers more than i write them lol, like me and @latin-8-o-clock-my-room had a whole conversation the other day about a potential dead boy detectives / six of crows crossover which was fun

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

no but i think that would be so cool, i love that it's a thing that happens to make fics more accessible to people

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

not exactly co-written but the dialogue in one of my merlin fics was based off a conversation me and a friend had late at night once where i swear we got possessed by merlin and arthur

so if that counts then yeah i guess? but i was the one who wrote it up so semi-cowritten ig

14. all time favourite ship

no ♥️

i simply cannot choose an all time favourite, current fav is definitely charles and edwin from dead boy detectives though

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

there was a merlin one i started that i still love the idea of so much, everything you've done...i know now, where arthur relives his and merlin's past while in avalon so he saw everything merlin had done for him, but idk if ill get around to finishing it :/

16. what are your writing strengths?

dialogue and descriptions of emotions, and fluff

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

i feel like i can't write a detailed kiss scene to save my life

also descriptions of actions

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

confusing question, idk. if it fits the plot it's fine ig but if it's random...why? i have no idea how to answer this

19. first fandom you wrote for

discounting the harry potter fics i wrote when i was like 11 because no one wants to see that, i think the first main fic i wrote was for IT, the horror movie 😭

20. favourite fic you've written so far?

currently probably 'cause it was always you, alright because i had so much fun writing it and people seem to be liking it

not gonna tag anyone specific but this was rly fun lol

#now back to actually writing #ao3 #fanfic #writing #writers on tumblr

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all-pacas · 4 months

Note

For the ask game, 🍬🧩

i did the “what makes you click away” already but lucky for you i have SO MANY answers for the other i could do it fandom by fandom

🍬 - (unpopular opinions about popular characters)

fe3h bc i know my audience —

claude is very smart and capable and also a cringefail loser. he’s making shit up as he goes along. he is bad at friendships and boundaries. he thinks his jokes are hilarious. he is both memelord and really talented commander and awkward loner

yes his real name is khalid but he’s actually probably fine with going by claude post game. it’s been his name for years. he has friends. he likes being claude von riegan. even if he resumes publicly being khalid it’s claude who had friends and companions for the first time in his life he’s not shedding it like a bad coat

byleth was not and will never be a bubbly outgoing person. they do not laugh or get chatty. they open up and grow and change but they by nature are rather serious and aloof and that is ok actually.

lorenz is a wonderful person and i love him that is my hot take

bg3 —

astarion is a poor little woobie yes fine. he has never once cried about his tragic life. he is emotionally repressed as hell. his default reaction is lashing out in anger not being weepy. stop turning him into a limp anime boy

of the bg3 boys astarion is definitely the most Traditionally Masculine ie he’s allergic to feelings, very proud, very repressed, wants to protect and not be protected, likes violence, does not want to discuss feelings ever, definitely thinks gale and wyll are a bit soft and pathetic for doing things like “expressing feelings sometimes” and “wanting meaningful relationships” again stop making him a uwu baby he’s an asshole

second person pov is a bane on my existence and i cannot stand it. even if a story is otherwise well written it is such a turnoff

house medical doctor —

boy do i hate how the fandom is 100% hilson. not because i hate old man yaoi but i just care so much more about the baby doctors and there is no content. or the content is like. like look 13 and chase are my favorite children too but where’s my CONTENT. where’s my FANFICS. feed me

i hate how fandom like. like fine we hate stacy (i think she’s fine actually), but she was a very important part of house’s life for a long time. even if he’s over her. past experiences still matter. same VERY MUCH goes for chase and cameron for one another. like haha doomed haha compet but they spent half the show together, they mattered a lot to one another, im not saying ship it but it kind of bugs me that fandom is like cameron whomst. backstories whomst. house has never felt love before whomst

after faking his own death i very much doubt house is going to go out of his way to leave touching letters and guidance for his former fellows. as nice as that would be. i think its a clean break. he’s gone. it isn’t that he doesn’t care at all, but lingering over past regrets and loose ends … eh. i think he figures they’ll all manage without him. he’s not sentimental.

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waspstar · 4 months

Text

nobody literally ever sends me asks so im going to answer all of these, original post here

🖖 First Trek media you encountered? a compilation of kirk being gay on tumblr. its what convinced me to watch the show 🥹 Favourite behind the scenes picture. this is hard, but probably this one.

i do however like another one of levar and brent together. 🌀 If the holodeck was real, what would be the first thing you'd use it for? meeting xtc ❤️ Your ST comfort character/s. the emh first and foremost. but also mccoy. 👕 Character whose fashion you like. LWAXANA DUHHHH 🎼 Song/music you associate with an aspect of ST. garden of earthy delights and across this antheap both by xtc remind me so so much of chekov. oh, and one of the millions by xtc as well! supersonic by jamiroquai reminds me a lot of the emh 😒 Character who annoys you. if there are no kai winn haters im dead 🍻 Hangout at Quark's or Ten Forward? see, at ten forward i have a chance of running into barclay and he wont try to scam me. but i think id go to quark's just cuz i like the ds9 cast more. 👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏿 Do you ship any characters? Who? yesss my number one favorite will always be qcard, but i also love jiles and tom and harry. ❌ One storyline/plot point that you hate from your favourite ST show/movie. this is so hard, i hate so many. i think my favorite st show is ds9 (though voyager is like, really becoming close to my heart) however i will have to sayyy umm. fascination is a pretty bad plot. i did not like that. that was really weird. i love lwaxana but that was a really bad plot. i guarantee you theres worse i just cant think of any >_< 🫂 Character you'd like to be friends with. i wanna say barclay, but i feel like being his friend would be so emotionally taxing. so perhaps bashir or miles. or tom :) ✨ Has Star Trek had a personal impact on you? extremely so. star trek is a very important part of my life and i think about it every single day. i consider it a special interest. 🖊️ Do you have a favourite quote from ST? its actually not technically a star trek quote, as they took it from a book. however, the line the emh reads at the end of latent image. 🪐 Favourite alien planet. ive always been fond of risa i wanna go there 🥲 ST moment that makes you cry. lal's death. also spock dying duh 📚 Favourite ST fic you've read. theres definitely a really good qcard one ive liked but i dont remember the name and dont feel like finding it. theres a really cute quodo one i remember too. thats hard. ive read a lot over the years ☄️ Your headcanon/s about a favourite character. the way that i have all kinds of headcanons and think of some often but now theyre all gone upon being asked this. umm. oh i headcanon that barclay had a cat early on in his starfleet career that passed away. i even came up with a name for it...i cant remember what it was but it was a space themed name. i also headcanoned that he had no father and only a mom and that he was raised on mars! and that his mom died early into his childhood. thats all i got tho 🎨 Favourite piece of ST fanart. i straight up do not have it, but its this beautiful art of q holding an orb with picard suspended within it. i have it saved somewhere. 🍽️ What alien food/drink would you want to try? UGGHHH HASPERATTTT every time i see anyone eat hasperat in ds9 i get so hungry i want to try it so baddd i imagine it has a very plant based spice, a fresh kinda spiciness...and kinda like a cilantro type taste going on. it looks so goodddd. ive also personally wanted to try klingon food. unpopular opinion ig but it looks yummy 👋 An actor, writer or creator on the show you'd love to meet. id sacrifice everything to meet robert picardo. hes done everything for me simply by playing the doctor and i just want to hug him and thank him and give him a kiss on the cheek if possible. also the same goes for john de lancie, esp bcs john not only played q but also discord from mlp, another character i love.

#have you seen jackie?

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vtoriacore-rbs · 1 year

Text

rant abt my mental illness don't mind me at all it's just more thoughts going into the void

why do i feel like im faking my mental illness my problems feel so trivial to everyone else's is it possible to like fake it and then get a diagnosis for it anyway bc what if im forcing symptoms like is that a thing?

ive read about imposter syndrome but im not fully convinced bc what if i genuinely am forcing symptoms of my mental illnesses onto myself and i gaslit myself into placebo effect like did i manipulate myself into believing it or something??? like is that a plausible situation ive tried searching for it but i didn't get any results other than "how to spot people who fake mental illness !1!1!1!" like bitch that's not what im asking !!

i honestly wish this is me faking it so that the symptoms go away. maybe i can like convince myself I don't have it and then placebo effect ??? could i do that? maybe i should get re-evaluated to see if i actually have bpd and bipolar disorder even tho i have statements proving both bc it doesn't feel real? like the doctor's could've maybe by some slim very slim chance evaluated me wrong and maybe i answered questions according to my previous research subconsciously or something? because maybe i wanted to be mentally ill??? could that happen subconsciously? l

like i know im mentally ill to some degree but it could just be me faking it for attention or just wanting to be different or something ?? do i just want people to care about me more when i do this ?? like i also don't want this to be the case bc faking mental illness is just fucked up and i don't think im that kind of person but what if i secretly am and just have been pretending all along until it felt somewhat real? im actually gonna cry LMFAO

im gonna need to think about this for a hot second or two because i feel like maybe my mental illness is just me forcing it on for some reason. conversely it could be imposter syndrome but i really don't know lmao. might take the easier option and just distract myself and not think at all. i HATE feeling this way and questioning who and what i am and what makes me.

#probably will delete later anyways but im just so 😐

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greysanatomy-adulteresswhore · 1 year

Text

New Beginnings

Summery: Y/n y/l/n is a new intern, she is excited to meet her compitition, and make some friends.

Characters: Meredith, Christina, Izzy, George, Alex, Chief, Baily.

Type: fluff, just doctor life and making friends.

Warnings: everything you would find in a hospital. No gender mentioned. No age is mentioned, assumed to be young. The reader has a famous father, known for his plastic surgery.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Today is the day, the day i start to work in a real hospital. Part of me is nervous, part of me is so excited, i could pop like a ballon. I reach the hospital and park, i see a group of people walking towards the door. I follow them in and make my way to the OR, where the chief said to meet at. Once i make it i see the chief standing there, looking over everyone.

"Welcome to Seattle Grace Hospital." He says. "Im your chief, Dr. Webber." He says. I turn and see a girl who's a bit later then everyone else. Chief Webber goes on and on about how hard this is gonna be, and i can start to feel my insecurity setting in. I look around and people are glaring at others. I try to smile.

After Chief shows us around, he lets us eat and then go to the locker room. I see a man, whos name is George approach the girl that was late.

"M-my name is George O'mally a-and i uh... wanted to say hello" he says awkwardly. The girl snorts but smiles.

"Meredith Grey." She introduces herself. I pause.

"THE Meredith Grey? Daughter of Ellis Grey?" I ask, slightly stunned. Meredith looks a bit dejected but nods. I sorta feel bad. People must say that all the time and never talk about her. I know that feeling.

"Sorry, lovely to meet you. Im Y/n, Y/n Y/l/n." I smile and hold out my hand. Meredith smiles and takes it.

"I believe my mom worked with your father." She says. I nod.

"They did." I beam a bit. Another girl pops into the conversation.

"Its crazy how you two work together now, like your parents did." She says. She was blonde and quite beautiful. "Im Izzy Stevens." She smiles. I nod and so does meredith. Another guy tells us to shut up. I look at his tag and it says Alex Karev.

"Dont be so prissy Karev. It wont get you very far." I say, side eyeing him. A girl sits next to me and Meredith.

"I like you two already, your not annoying." She says. Her tag says Christina Yang. I smile and in walks a short black women.

"Alright. I need Grey, O'mally, Stevens, Y/l/n, Yang, and Karev." She shouts and everyone she called walks out. I can hear her mutter something along the lines of, "too many interns." We stop walking and she looks at all of us.

"Im Doctor Miranda Bailey. I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule number one: Don't bother sucking up. I hate you. That's not gonna change. Trauma protocol, phone list, pagers" she points to stuff on the counter. "nurses will page you. You will answer every page at a run. A run! That's rule number two. Your first shift starts now and lasts 48 hours. You're interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain. You run labs, write orders, work every second and night until you drop, and don't complain." She says as we keeo walking. "On-call rooms. Attendings hog them. Sleep when you can where you can, which brings me to rule number three. If I'm sleeping, don't wake me unless your patient is dying. Rule four: The dying patient better not be dead when I get there. Not only will you have killed someone, you woke me for no reason. We clear?" Everyone nods, but meredith raises her hand. "Yes?"

"You said five rules. That was only four." She says. Dr. Bailey sighs and looks at her pager.

"When i move, you move." She says and her pager beeps. We all rush with her.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

By the end of the day, i have been cursed at, given weird stares, thanked, and thrown up on. I make it back to the locker room and sit down. I cant help but smile. I hear 2 voices and Meredith and Christina walk in.

"Why are you smiling?" Christina asks snarkly.

"When i came here, i thought i would wanna leave. I thought everyone would be against me. But i suppose i can tolerate you guys." I smile and i can see Meredith smiling. Even christina has a smirk on her face.

"Your sappy." Christina says with an annoyed tone. I chuckle.

Yea, maybe this wont be so bad.

#greys anatomy #meredith grey #christina yang #george o'malley #Alex Karev #Miranda Bailey #chief webber #hospital #fanfiction #no love interest #i tried #short story #doctor #doctor life #i’m bored

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eomma-jpeg · 11 months

Text

[20 Question Fic Writer Game]

How many works do you have on AO3?

Fifteen ! which is wild

What is your AO3 word count?

Oh gosh,,,,,, 229,582 words... holy frick dude what is wrong with me

What fandoms do you write for?

Trigun mostly but on AO3 i do have a single bnha fic and a fullmetal fic. I have some other fullmetal fics saved but i havent been as inspired to write for them lol

What are your top five fics by kudos?

in the meadow - 256

an account of past kisses - 185

vinyl and an alleyway niche - 97

it’s not what it looks like - 91

learning to take breaks - 86

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I absolutely try to respond to every comment. Some get past me or some i feel like my answer would just be really repetitive so i hold off,,,, but i really love seeing comments and responding so that people know that i saw their comment !!!

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Okay so all my fics are super sweet bc i have a hard time ending things on a dour note lol

I like fix it fics !!!

But i do have a wip in the works that will be hurt/no comfort and that will quickly become my fic with the angstiest ending

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably in the meadow. Everyone is crying and in love and its the cheesiest ending ever but i love and adore it because who doesn’t love a little cheese !!!!!!

Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet lol. Im not popular enough for the haters to come attacking. I just have my small and valuable army of supporters WHO I ADORE

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No i don’t particularly enjoy smut in general. I will on occasion write a steamy makeout but i don’t do smut

Do you write crossovers?

I would enjoy writing crossovers because im a big au fan. I got @veilder to rant to me last night about a trigun x genshin idea and it made me excited bc i like when veil info dumps (i love when anyone info dumps,,, IF YOU HAVE MILLYNAI THOUGHTS PLEASE SEND THEM TO ME)

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that i know of, and if i did it would have been an old one

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but that would be super fun

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Not officially published, but i am co writing with someone right now >:3

I also do a lot of brainstorming and collaborating with people to make my stories and influence others, but those arent particularly co writing

What's your all-time favourite ship?

Vashmeryl and millynai have risen SO HIGH ON MY LIST

Honestly Millynai is my favorite, but Royai will forever remain and all time favorite ship (and tenrose WHOOPS)

What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will?

Hrmmm i have a razmeryl wip i really want to finish but i don’t know when ill have the time to dedicate my brain to their Insane Dynamic

What are your writing strengths?

I think i write with a good flow. Its not so choppy (at least not anymore lol) and it keeps anyone whos reading engaged enough to keep going.

And i appeal to emotion and yall love that dont you

What are your writing weaknesses?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm i have many

Im repetitive? I use the same words and phrases over and over,,,, and im predictable in how characters act bc i often project myself into them,,, meaning i use myself as a reference and i try not to but it helps make it real in my mind

I often outline too much and scare myself out of actually writing lol

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I would certainly try,,, but the only language im really semi-qualified to translate into is American Sign Language (which i would love to do, we are severely lacking in deaf characters)

First fandom you wrote for?

Doctor Who baby !!! my fic is still out there floating in the void that is wattpad

Favourite fic you've ever written?

in the meadow,,,, hands down. Please if you havent read it i would love if you would.... Its quite fun and has redemption and character exploration and kiss scenes and yearning and pining and denial and its a slowburn sooooooooo you can waste a lot of time with it hehe

ty @frappeflamingo for tagging me !!! i needed something fun to do

im gonna tag @veilder and @noaafishfieldguide bc im mean <3

#writer game #trigun #fic

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lunarifie · 2 years

Text

Rewatching Ninjago

(With no context other than the episode)

Sons of Garmadon episode 5-6

FIGHT SCENE FIGHT SCENE

Mr E: (Cracks his neck)

Zane: Are you the quiet one??? ARE YOU THE QUIET ONE

Omg I forgot Zane used a bow and arrow for a while.

I love his fighting style, and weapons.

I like how we only see Zane fight seriously when its with other nindroids and powerful villains.

Because, you know, hes made out of titanium.

This scenes so cool. No joke, just Zane and this guy fist fighting it out as Zane screams for answers.

It just feels so real

Zane (sparking and injured): You dont have to do this….

Mr E: (kicks him off the cliff)

WHAT

NO.

the way Zane was so quiet, so pleading and understanding

I hate this

I remember seeing a post that says the animators were allowed to put more injuries on Zane since hes a robot and there wouldnt be as much gore.

Which is so true, because theres a huge gash on Zanes face and the only thing thats showing is wires.

Like imagine that sort of injury on the other ninja. Blood would be flowing.

DID ZANE JUST DIE!?!!?!?

HE LIKE, POWERED DOWN, HIS EYES WENT DULL.

I hated that so much he looked like he really died.

Stop. What is Mr. E putting in Zanes chest. Istg if thats a tracker im going to shit myself.

STOOOP. 😭😭😭 THE CAMERA PANNING OUT FROM ZANES BODY TO SHOW IT ALL CUT UP AND SCUFFED.

Even the intro music changed…

God, all of them finding Zane like that. They sound so scared.

THEY HAVE A GURNEY FOR SITUATIONS LIKE THIS?!?!?!? HOW MANY TIMES HAS THIS HAPPENED????

The transition from the bright spotlight to the doctor/mechanic lights was so good

Jesus christ Zanes in actual bad shape. Like actually. This is what would happen if one of the other ninja got hurt this bad. Zanes in a coma and its up to him to get better and wake up.

This is scary I dont like this 😭

It makes you think. That whole fight and falling off a cliff probably hurt a LOT

Wait so theyre LEAVING ninjago city? As in abandoning everything? I mean, thats the right move, but thats just crazy to me. Its been so long since theyve been outside of ninjago.

Baby Wu: WAAAAAAA

Jay: Maybe hes thirsty! Give him some milk!

Cole (handing Wu to Kai): I tried that! He doesnt like milk!

Jay: WHAT ELSE DO BABIES DRINK?!?!?

Kai (handing baby Wu to Jay): Dont ask me! Ask him!

Cole: HES A BABY. HE HASNT LEARNED HOW TO TALK YET.

Jay (handing Wu to Cole): Oh! maybe he needs a diaper change!!!

Cole (holding Wu as if he has a disease): ohmygosh, DO WE EVEN HAVE DIAPERS?!?!?

Lloyd: We’re NINJA, WE DONT NEED DIAPERS.

Jay: What if we used one of our hoods!

Kai: NOT MY HOOD!!!

HFDJFFJJDNNGNDGNLMAOOO

i love them all sm

Theyre all idiots

THEYRE TRYING TO DRAW STRAWS 😭😭😭

I love how Harumi is the one calming baby Wu down with a lullaby. Now we know she probably did this so if she ever needed to steal Wu he’d be comfortable going with her.

The fact that Harumi and Lloyd are comforting each other on their parents makes me so sad

She obviously asked him just so she could know more about Garmadon.

UHHH DID HARUMI JUST GO FOR A KISS??????

Lloyd: Uh! I um, better go see, uh. I have to go. That way.

AWWWW HES SO AWKWARD 😭 LOOK AT HIS LITTLE AWKWARD WALK.

Ok I get that Lloyd fell first, (which I like to pretend never happened) but if Harumis whole thing is becoming Garmadons daughter. Why is she making moves ON HIS SON. like thats so weird 😭

I get it tho, shes probably trying to gain his trust, and if they were involved, that realization would probably hurt a lot more.

Cole (watching over baby wu): awwww

Baby Wu: Wa… wa… WAAAAAA

Cole: no no no please dont cry!!! I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. haha! Look at me! Hey! Lala! See, im not crying!

Baby Wu: WAAAA

Cole: Ughhhh FINE. but this is between you and me. 😒

Cole: shine little glow worm glimmer glimmer. Dont get dimmer dimmer

AWWWWW cole is so cute with kids

My favs for this season are definitely him and Lloyd.

THE BLANKY.

Pls tell me it has Wus name on it and thats why Cole gasped

Jay: Woaah… look at that storm!

Nya (navigating the ship): You know, there was an ancient tribe in ninjago that worshipped a storm spirit called Wohira.

Yayayayay Nya and Jay time :)

I love them sm and small moments with them are so cute

Look at Jay listen to his girlfriend infodump 🥺

Nya: They believed Wohira protected them.

Jay: Wohira? Haha thats silly.

(Storm crackles and shakes the ship)

Jay: AAA NOT SO SILLY ANYMORE

Just googled what who wohira is and apparently its woJira.

“Wojira (also known as the Sleeper in the Deep, the Great Serpent, or the Mighty Serpent of the Wave and the Storm) was a storm spirit in the form of a giant sea serpent. Before time had a name, she used the Amulets of Wojira to rule the seas of Ninjago.”

Huh, I hope Wojira comes up in the show she seems so cool

Ok so the ninja are all gathered up, and they learned that a trap was set from an audio recording Zane took. Ofc that trap is the thing Mr. E placed in Zanes body. But they think they can track the quiet one with the recording.

Its so funny to think that rn Harumi is probably shitting herself. She looks so scared 😭

Pixal: We need to go under the storm, its interfering with my signal and i cant trace the recording

Harumi: UM! wont we be spotted if we go under the storm 😀 we’ll be seen by the sons of garmadon!

Lloyd: Harumis right.

GODDAMMIT

Jay: So where do we go?

Cole (barges in holding a map): HERE! it was with the baby the whole time!

Ohhhh so the blankey was a maaaap

Kai: I dont get it? Why was the baby wrapped in a map?

Cole: I dont know, maybe they didnt have any diapers either.

Harumi (sick of their bullshit): THIS, part here looks like it can be the central part of ninjago 😀

Which in harumi translation is: hurry the FUCK up and stop MESSING AROUND so we can find the MASK.

Jay(trying to stab his meatball): Haha! Come here you little sucker!

Jay: (stabs kai)

Everyone:

Cole: (covers baby Wus eyes)

Jay: I… am so sorry….

Kai: Dont. Just dont.

Uhhhhh zane?

Holy shit holy shit holy shit

What THE FUCK is that

IS THAT THE TRAP SET BY MR E?!?!?!?!?

I THOUGHT IT WAS A FUCKING TRACKER NOT A MECHANIC SPIDER WTFFFF

It looks so creepy i hate it

It reminds me of coralines other-mothers hand.

The way it walks against the floor ughhh

i hate it so much

Nya: What are you feeding him?

Cole(feeding baby wu): tea!

Nya: WHAT?!? you cant feed a baby tea!?!?

Cole: He wont drink anything else!

Ooooo the lights went out….

Awww the way they abandoned everything to see if Zane was okay 🥺

Lmaoo Harumi going back for the map

God this is actually so scary, the background music was perfectly picked for this scene.

Pixal sounds so scared and frantic :(

Wait so they lost control of the WHOLE ship?!?!?

Cole: Samurai X is on their way? They must be here to help!

Wait so Pixal transferred herself to samurai x already?

Pixal: Im afraid that is unlikely…

Wait what

Pixal: Because my system is overrun…

Kai: Youre making no sense Pix.

Pixal: Now… would be a good time to make a minor confession.

Pixal: I am Samurai x…

Ohhh so shes overrun. so someones controlling her body!?!?!?

Everyone:

Cole: Are you serious???

Nya: How is that possible?!?!

Jay: Totally called it!

Cole: You did NOT

Jay: Did too!

(explodes the fucking air thruster)

Istg if they destroy the destinys bounty AGAIN-

Awwww Cole cares sm about the baby 🥺

Jay redirecting literal solid lightning is crazy to me

AND KAI MAKING A FIREBALL TO LIGHT THE SKY?!?!?

Lloyd: Harumi! Take this! (Hands her a sword)

Harumi: But I don’t know how to fight 🥺

Omfg

I hate that Nya is the one stuck looking for that disgusting ass metal spider

UGHHH I HATE THE SQUEAKING AND SQUERLCHING NOISES IT MAKES

NOT THE SPIDER CLIMBING ON ZANE

STOP DID IT JUST JUMP AT HER?!?!?

okay but who is controlling Samurai x specifically. Is it Mr E?

Im gonna be forever confused by the small things Harumi does, like saving Lloyd when he could have easily died and no one would suspect anything.

Aaaa so she was ‘kidnapped’ by Samurai x.

STOP NOT LLOYD JUMPING AFTER HER IN THE STORM.

LLOYD PLS

Jay: He did not just?!?

Kai: He just did!!!

Hfjdntdjnsn

Lloyd: Pixal stop this!

Samurai x: There is no pixal, only the quiet one.

Okay thats actually so smart though. With Harumi right there too.

Lloyd: (stabs the suit)

Samurai x: (ejects from the suit landing on the ship.)

Lloyd: I did not think this through…

NCJDNGJDJT

Harumi: We’re gonna…

Lloyd: Were not gonna die! You hear me?!?!

Harumi: The map! Maybe we can use it as a parachute!

Lloyd: WHAT IS THIS?!?!? A CARTOON?!?!?

LMAOOONFISNGJDNDNS

Lloyd (puts harumi in the samurai x suit): the suit should break your fall!

Harumi: What about you?!?!?

Lloyd: sorry only room for one…

Harumi: NO I NEED YOU!!!

This scene would have been so dramatic and touching if Harumi wasnt who she was 😭

Also the ‘I NEED YOU’ makes me wonder if Lloyds a part of her plan. Like she actually needs him for everything to work.

Lloyd: And I need that map.

HE ACTUALLY USED IT AS A PARACHUTE

Harumi was probably so pissed at that moment as she crashed in the suit and Lloyd swung down.

Nya (getting strangled by a spider): AAAAAAA

(A spear stabs the spider with perfect aim)

Zane: what in the name of ninjago is happening around here???

ZANE❤️

We missed you 🥺

Pixals back!!!!

Samurai x: (throws sword at the last air thruster)

Pixal: (Back online.)

Pixal as samurai x: (watches as her body throws the sword into the air thruster just a little too late)

God that must suck for her. To imagine your seconds late to having saved them all.

Everyone: (holding onto the ship as it goes down)

Jay: She got the last thruster!

Kai: Any ideas!?

Zane: Not one!

Kai: Yeah me neither…

Jay: PRAY TO WOJIRA!

Nya: That is NOT helpful!

HFJDJFNF I love them all

Zane: Maybe we can create enough drag with the sails!

Kai: WHAT SAILS!!?!?

(Their sails completely destroyed)

Zane: 😶

Wait wait wait okay Jay might be onto something

Jay: The rain! It could slow our fall!

YES NYA YES USE YOUR AWESOME FUCKING POWERS!!!

JUST LIKE THE VERY FIRST TIME, SHE WAS TAUGHT TO CHANGE THE WATER FLOW TO RUN UP

I LOVE THIS SHOW SM

this is actually so cool

Like the way the rain is going under and hitting the bottom of the ship.

Nyas such a girlboss

WAIT BABY WU

Good job Cole, like honestly. If he hadn’t gone straight for the baby. Wu would probably be dead, A baby would not have survived that impact.

Awwww Jay helping Nya up.

The forest they landed in is actually gorgeous

Pixal: Zane?

AAAAAAA

THEIR REUNION

Pixal: I needed to keep my identity a secret, to protect the ones I care about…

Zane: You dont need to lie to me, you didnt like being stuck in my head :)

Pixal: that too. ☺️

AWWWWWWW he knows her so well 🥹

Kai: Wheres Lloyd and Harumi?

Oh god theyre alone.

AND NOW THEYRE RUNNING FROM A DINOSAUR????

Omfg and to think its that stupid ‘extinct’ one that was in the episode that had Lloyd magically age up

Pixal and Zane are genuinely so cute

awwwww Cole with baby Wu :)

Cole: What do you think the babies name is?You think he’s a Cole jr?

Ik ppl say that the show writers kinda just threw Jays inventing quirk away which makes me rlly sad but its nice to see that they sometimes show him fixing stuff, like the crashed bounty.

The dinosaur: RAAAAAAH

Cole: …what do you think that was…?

Kai: Probably just some cute little critter?

Jay: Or a big critter… A great big vicious critter with lots of teeth and claws and pinchers—

Cole: You cant tell all of that from how it sounds 🙄

WAIT THE THRUSTERS WORKING?!?!?

nvm lol

Jfjebfjdnf wish I could screenshot on netflix, Jays covered in soot and id love to draw him

AWWW ZANES GIGGLES SO CUTE

Jay: IVE HAD IT. FIRST WE CRASH LAND IN WHO KNOWS WHERE AND NOW ARE SURROUNDED BY WHO KNOWS WHAT

Cole: Look on the bright side! Cole jrs okay! so you can change his diaper.

Jay: ha. Ha. Ha, hilarious.

GOD NYAS SO COOL

She looks awesome in her samurai x mech

Pixal: My suit! I mean— your suit.

Nya: Its okay Pixal, its yours now :)

AWWW I LOVE THEM

lloyds actually super smart to put a note on the mech

Aaand the sons of garmadon are coming

Keep forgetting the place theyre in is Primevals eye.

Harumi: I didnt imagine myself here.. But, Ive always dreamed of being with you 🥺

That was cringy as shit thats when you know shes overdoing it 💀

oooo now theyre on their way to Stranglers Path

Lloyd: Naaah, the name doesnt mean anything. Just some bored map maker— (Gets fucking snatched)

HOLY SHIT IS THE TREE GONNA EAT HIM?!?!?!!?

Omfg I hate that Harumis sword throw was actually so cool

Also why does she keep saving him when its most convenient to just let him die?

Like, she had the map, she had the sword, she couldve continued on.

Im assuming the “i need you” scream she did when they were falling to their deaths has smth to do with her plan.

Lloyds voice actor is actually really good

Lloyd: How did you learn to throw a sword like that?!?!

Harumi trying to cover her ass: I- I dont know! I just saw you in trouble and I… I guess it was luck

Lloyd: LUCK?!?!? That wasnt just LUCK! That was—

Harumi: (kisses him on the cheek)

SHE ACTUALLY KISSES HIM

I THOUGHT THERE WERE ONLY ROMANTIC IMPLICATIONS NOT AN ACTUAL KISS

im gonna kms

Zane and Pixal working together inside the bounty is so cute

Maybe I shouldnt kms

Zane: Is it working?

Pixal: No.

Zane: How about now?

Pixal: NO.

Zane:…

Zane: I detect frustration from you, yet that emotion is not needed for this task? Is something wrong?

Pixal: No…

Pixal:…

Pixal: Yes.

I love how Zane acts all calculating and ‘different’ than an ‘average’ human, which ppl would usually chart it up to him being a robot.

But then we have Pixal, a whole nother example and she acts just like everyone else 😭

I love how thats just how Zane is

AWWW I FORGOT PIXAL HAS HALF OF ZANES HEART/LIFE SOURCE

Pixal: Was i more useful in the computer…?

Pixal: I like having a body, but if I was more useful in the computer…

Zane: The choice was always yours pixal. And I for one, like seeing you like this.

AWWWWWWWWW

i love robot love

The way they just went back to working 🥺

The levitation oni mask is genuinely awesome. And the way it looks like it has no drawbacks. Amazing.

I dislike the ninja talking about Lloyd having the hots for the princess VERY much

Cole: Pliers.

Kai: Pliers?

Jay: I dont have the pliers! (Someone hands it to him) oh, why thank you!

Baby Wu: (walking with two legs)

Jay:

Jay: hehe, COLE. I thought you put the baby down for a nap.

Cole: you mean little Cole jr? Yeah i did, but he was a little restless.

Jay: Uh huh yeah. Then why is little Cole jr standing in front of me and PASSING ME THE PLIERS.

LMAOOOO

the way they all ran

Cole: Im no expert… but do babies do that?

Kai: No. No they do not. And they also dont know what pliers are.

I keep forgetting that Kai like, RAISED Nya, so he definitely knows all this stuff.

Baby wu: (grabs a hot cup of tea and blows it)

Kai: And they DEFINITELY dont do that.

HFNDKFNDJDNFNR

Jay: Okay! Now ive seen it all! Now i REALLY quit!!!

Baby wu: aaaa. Ninja neva quit.

Everyone:

HFNDNGNDJNFT I KNEW IT WAS THIS EPISODE THE MINUTE HE GOT TWO LEGS

Harumi: AAAA (screaming at the sons of garmadon insignia)

Shes such a good actor i hate her 😭

Ohhh i forgot Lloyd and Harumi find a boat and like ride it or smth

Harumis giggle is so cute ☹️

I think Harumis trying to recruit Lloyd, which is why shes saving him and manipulating him. If she plans on keeping him long-term thats the only reason I can think of.

Harumi: Garmadon wasnt the greatest villain…

Lloyd: Oh, no? You probably grew up thinking it was Morro, or the devourer. Wait, don’t tell me. Pythor!

Harumis probably thinking ‘this bitch’

Harumi: no. Its the one you never even knew was there in the first place. The one who gets away.

Lloyd: The quiet one…

Okay this scenes actually really creepy when you know

I love how skeptical Nya is until Wu says his catchphrases

Nya: But how did he get so… Young?

Jay: Haha! Who knows! Hes a living fortune cookie. Everything he does is a puzzle MEANT TO TORTURE US.

Jays got his facts straight

Ohhh okay so it was the reversal blade that made Wu young, got it.

I love how the animation makes this feel like a new show but they always tie things back together.

Jay: But when is he going back to good old Wu?

Jay to the baby: No offense, you look good for your age.

hes so funny

Ughhh the sons of garmadon

Why am I pretending I dont like them I actually genuinely like their characters 😭

HELL YEAH! THE BOUNTYS FIXED

Cole: Let us take care of this wu, you looked after us, let us look after you.

I mean honestly, Wu didnt do much ‘taking care’ of you guys

I love when the ninja bicker in fight scenes

Okay but Lloyd is genuinely smart, the way he noticed there were no rocks and had Harumi stop the boat.

I hate that Harumis so cute, i hate that she has a nice singing voice, i hate that shes such a girlboss gaslighter

And i hate that theres a giant fucking dinosaur fish in the river 💀

ITS A FUCKING CRAB WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?

Theyre gonna be pulled to a waterfall by the current

Knew it.

Nya: Look! The signal to search for the quiet one is working! But thats weird, it says it originated from the bounty…

Kai: but thats impossible…

Zane: The only ones on the ship were us, Pixal, and…

Everyone:

Nya: Harumis the quiet one.

THATS HOW THATS REVEALED,!?!?!?

OKAY BUT THATS ACTUALLY SO GOOD. THEY DEMOLISHED THE ‘VILLAIN REVEALS THEMSELVES’ TROPE AND ALLOWS THE HEROES TO USE THEIR INTELLIGENCE. STILL LEAVING STUFF AT STAKE WITH ANOTHER CHARACTER STILL UNAWARE

Zane: We must warn Lloyd!

Ultra Violet: I wouldnt do that if I were you…

OMFG.

Love the ninja protecting their friends. Cole was holding baby wu and Jay jumped in to save them 🥺

I love crowd fight scenes. Just the heroes having to fight off groups of henchmen

Aaaand they lost.

And Lloyds with Harumi.

This is so great.

They made it to the temple with the mask 😐

OKAY NOOOOW THEY SHOW HARUMIS EVIL MISCHIEVOUS FACE

#ninjago #lego ninjago #Rewatching Ninjago

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essentiallykpopandbl · 2 years

Text

Getting to know your BL mutuals

I was tagged by the wonderful @wanderlust-in-my-soul! Thanks!

rules: answer the questions and @ some people. Include the tag 'g2ky BL mutuals 2022' on your post so we can find everyone's answer.

What have been the BLs that took you by surprise this year? (How many of these am I allowed to do?)

180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us - do I need to bring up the person I was during this time? I would not shut up about this show. There was so much to unpack. And I still find it impressive how invested I was into a BL that mostly was just talking in various rooms in a random mansion in the woods, which I know is taking away all the nuances that were happening in the show by describing it like that but that is really what was going on...... and here I go again.

DNA Says Love You- what can I say, this show changed me.

Triage - this show was so hard to get ahold of when it was airing but it was so good I couldn't stop watching. The angry doctor had to rescue the rich brat and both changed because of falling in love. Seriously sign me up!

Star in My Mind - I had no expectations, I feel in love with Dunk before the show started, I am now biased, I loved this show.

Cherry Blossoms After Winter - adopted brothers and a marriage proposal at the end. Of course I loved it.

Secret Crush On You - I watched the first episode *cringe* and stopped watching, I kept seeing the show talked about and by episode 5 I started over to get caught up and I am so glad I did.

Semantic Error - let's be real, this show blew most people that watched it out of the water. It had no right to be so good yet it was, and I loved it.

Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice But To Kiss - it was ridiculous, but so sweet and I loved every moment of it.

What have been the BLs that you felt a bit disappointed with this year?

Check Out - wow it was so bad

Enchante - I watched it all, I'm not sure why (no hate to ForceBook)

Plus and Minus - it was going soooo well, then it derailed with the random breakup and I got pretty mad about it on Tumblr. I didn't really forgive it even though it ends happy.

Unforgotten night - oh boy

Kinnporsche - yes, I realize by putting this people might be angry. But I was disappointed. It wasn't the actors, the chemistry, VegasPete, or anything related to Vegas, I just had such a problem with the clearly different directors and random tone changes throughout. It was inconsistent.

What has been your favorite BL this year?

Does Bad Buddy count as this year? I know it was mostly last year. But I lost my marbles over that show. If it doesn't, then maybe Not Me. Or honestly Triage. I loved shows this year that were very story driven.

Favorite BL couples (not just of 2022)?

There are so many! But I will just go with my list of problematic couples that I love so much.

Hirakioyi

Danyok

Vegaspete

Payurain (yeah I know who I am)

Oh and PatPran who are not problematic

What's your non-BL favorite this year?

Kind of depends.... are we talking movie? Top Gun: Maverick. American TV show? Stranger Things season 4 (yeah yeah I'm one of those stranger things fans). Non-american TV show? It didn't come out this year, but I watched it this year and it was so good that im going to use it, Extracurricular. It's a kdrama about a boy in high school who runs a "security service" for prostitutes in order to make money to pay for college. It's dark, and messed up, and honestly kind of brutal, but it was so gripping I couldn't look away. The main character is played by Kim Dong Hee who is able to play the character with so much heart and understanding that you are siding with him and the decisions he is making even though it is very illegal. I can't say enough good things about this show.

I'll tag @pro-xy @silverquillsideas @blueberries1234 @asdfghjklmpff (sorry if you have already done it)

#g2ky bl mutuals 2022 #180 degree longitude passes through us #dna says love you #triage the series #star in my mind #cherry blossoms after winter #mr unlucky has no choice but to kiss #secret crush on you #semantic error #enchante #check out #plus and minus #unforgotten night #bad buddy #not me #my beautiful man #vegaspete #everyone should watch extracurricular #so many bls

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