#the relationship his mom had with his dad was odd tho

[bloominstorm]

Wakui really tryna make me stop slandering Mikey out here.

[flkwh0re]

Team Player

Pairing: Step-mom! Wanda Maximoff x Coach! Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Age gap (Legal), Step-mom/Step-daughter relationship, Coach/Player relationship, Cheating, Manipulation(??), Threesome, Mommy Kink (W), Degrading, Spitting, Cum play(??), Fingering, Oral, Dom/Dom/Sub dynamic, Natasha has a penis, Unprotected sex, Brief breeding kink, Face riding

A/n: Love this dynamic, very odd unusual pairing tho 😭

Word count: 1,568

Today was the day of your final game of your college teams basketball game. You anxiously waited around for your dad to show, knowing he’d probably not. He always had some excuse like being busy at work, or having made plans already.

That was never the case though, it was always the fact that he was just pure lazy and didn’t give two fucks about you and the stuff you did.

It hurt you, it hurt you badly. Your step mom, Wanda, on the other hand was amazing. Stepping up to take his place any moment she could. You honestly didn’t believe how the woman married that man, but little did you know she only stayed for you.

Wanda had developed a small crush on you, then it grew. Anytime she watched one of your games, she’d have an aching throb between her thighs. Watching your skilled body move around the court, the sweat dripping down your body. The tone in your voice as you yelled at your teammates, trying to get their attention. You truly were the mvp of the team, and everyone adored you.

As you stood around by the door waiting for him, one of your teammates informed you that your couch wanted you in the locker room. You huffed and began to walk away from the entrance, until the door flew open. You craned your head around and there stood Wanda.

“Oh my god Wanda you made it!” You yelped as your arms flew around her body, your taller figure towering her. “I couldn’t miss my favorite girls final game, now could I?” She chuckled, earning a giggling and smile from you.

“I’d walk you to the gymnasium, but coach wants me. Plus the game starts soon, so I’ll see you after?” You asked. “Why don’t I come with you? I have something I wanna try on you.” She hummed, to which you shuddered and nodded with confusion.

What could she possibly want to try, were your thoughts while you two walked to the locker room. Her hand resting on your back, almost too close to your ass.

Once the two of you reached the locker room, you guided her into where your coach was. “Coach Romanoff?” You asked, the older woman turning around. “Oh hello Y/n, I needed to discuss some things with you before the game. Who’s this?” Natasha pointed to Wanda.

“Oh this is Wanda, my step-mom.” Wanda extended her hand to Natasha. “Nice to meet you..?” Wanda paused, “Natasha.” She responded. Wanda nodded, “Nice to meet you Natasha.” Natasha nodded and took her hand, “Like wise.”

After a while of Natasha discussing game plans with you, Wanda’s hands rested on your shoulders. Massaging the tense muscles. “Detka, you’re so tense. What’s wrong?” She quipped, and you nervously eyed the two women. “I- just nervous I guess.”

You lied as well as you could, you knew it wasn’t believable thought. It was hard to hide the fact you had a massive crush on your step-mom, alone with your coach. You knew it was wrong, all so very wrong.

Natasha and you messed around a couple times, quickly shutting it down when you two were almost caught by one of your teammates. You didn’t know that Wanda knew though.

She had caught you texting her multiple times about non-basketball related things, but chose not to say anything. She did feel rather protective of you, which is why she insisted on coming with you to see Nat before the game.

Wanda hummed, then glanced up at Natasha. “I know that’s not the reason, it’s because your step-mom’s hands are rubbing across your muscles and your filthy coach keeps eyeing you. Such a dirty girl you are.”

A gasp escaped your lips, Natasha eyes painfully trained on Wanda. “What do you mean by that, Wanda?” She asked sternly, her teeth gritted.

“Oh don’t act like a fool, I know that you know you get Y/n here to whore herself out to you.” Another gasped came from you, Wanda’s fingers found your lips and pushed past them.

“Hush you little slut, don’t you act surprised either.” Whimpers escaped your lips, a groan erupted from Natasha. Wanda laughed darkly, her fingers toying with your mouth.

“Why don’t we help you out before the game? We can’t have you this tense before the game, it is the final after all.” Wanda suggested, and Natasha thought for a second before agreeing.

Wanda retracted her fingers from your mouth, earning a whine from you. Her hands slide down to the hem of your jersey, pulling it over your head followed by your bra.

Her long fingers tugged at your perky nipples, using your spit that lingered on her fingers to wet them. Wanda looked up at Natasha, “Don’t just stand there, get over here.” Natasha hurriedly walked over to the bench, sitting down next to you.

Her lips attach to your nipple, biting and sucking. As she did this, Wanda’s hands worked at your tense arms and shoulders. It drove you crazy having your step-mom standing behind you, while your coach was latched to your nipple.

Natasha’s hands wandered across your stomach, tracing your abs. Her hand then slipped past the hem of your basketball shorts, teasing your clit through your soaked panties. Her mouth left your tit, capturing your lips.

Her tongue tangled with yours, and you were so caught up in the kiss you hadn’t noticed Wanda moving to sit on the opposite side of you. Wanda watched the two of you as Nat pumped her fingers into your pussy, and your tongues dancing with one another. She also hadn’t failed to realize the prominent bulge in Nat’s pants.

She kneeled down in front of Natasha, unbuckling her belt and tugging her pants down. Wanda’s hand rubbed Natasha through her boxers, causing her to groan into your mouth.

Wanda pulled her boxers down, her cock springing free from its restraints. Wanda admired the woman’s size, her hands pumped at Natasha cock a few times. Her tip leaked with pre-cum.

Wanda’s lips wrapped around the coach’s cock, sheathing her cock down her throat. The sight of Wanda sucking off your coach quickened the arrival of your orgasm. Nat removed her hands from your panties, making a show of her cleaning them off. Even having Wanda lick your arousal off them.

“C’mon baby, come help mommy suck your coach’s cock.” Wanda suggested, as she grabbed your hand leading you to kneel in front of Natasha. Your tongue ran down Natasha’s dick, as so did Wanda’s.

You both took turns sucking her off, but Natasha was most fond of the way Wanda pumped the base of her cock and sucked her balls, while you sucked the tip of her cock.

With one final squeeze at the base of her cock, Natasha’s cum spurted into your mouth, you taking everything she gave. “Open your mouth, let me see her cum in your mouth.” Wanda demanded, so you stuck your tongue out. “Spit it into my mouth.”

You complied, trying your best to spit Nat’s cum into her mouth. Once you did, Wanda’s lips latched to yours. Your lips moved hungry against each other, cum dripping down both of your mouths.

Natasha pulled you to your feet, pulling off your pants and panties then, onto her lap. Giving you a searing kiss on the lips. Wanda took hold of Natasha’s cock, guiding it to your pussy. As you sunk down on Natasha, you whined at her size.

She began to bounce you on her cock, while Wanda took your hand and guided you to her pussy. Natasha lips suckled at your nipples, her fingers dug into your hips. You tried your best to finger Wanda as well as possible, but Nat’s erratic pace made all thoughts in your head disappear.

“M’ gonna breed this little pussy.” Natasha husked against your chest, throwing all abilities to think out the door. “Here, come eat mommy out while Natasha fucks you.” Wanda spoke up, aching for her own release.

Natasha helped you lay down, spreading her legs and shoving her cock back into you. Wanda straddled your face, her pussy hovered over your mouth. Your tongue flattened out past your lips, and Wanda began using your tongue to get off.

Wanda and Natasha shared a kiss as they both used you to get them own orgasms. Wanda furiously rode your face, while Natasha’s pace became unsteady. Her cock twitched, then her cum spilt from her cock. Yours and Wanda’s orgasms following quickly behind.

You lapped at Wanda’s pussy, drinking up all of her arousal. Nat pulled her cock out of you, your hole clenching around nothing. You whine at the empty feeling. “Hush baby, you gotta get out of here quickly. The game is about to start.” Natasha said.

Wanda quickly hopped of your face, then helped you collect your clothing and redress. She pressed a quick kiss on your lips. “You do good out there and I’ll reward you later on. Okay?” She whispered in your ear and you nodded, then she sent you on your way.

“What did you say to her?” Natasha asked as her eyebrow cocked. “Don’t worry about it coach, you better get out there too.” Wanda teased, and they both slipped back into their clothes.

Your team winded up winning the game, and Wanda kept her promise. Natasha also followed along.

Masterlist

[cloudypinkblink]

you know sayuri kinda looks like she has the dead mom hairstyle, kinda

so time to give masaru (and chika) some angst

aka sayuri dying and Masaru drops out of school to get a job and raise his sister, over working himself and having bad habits of caring more about others health than his own

Chika worries about her brother and the changed that happened to him since their mom death

Satsuma didn't know that sayuri died and when he finds that out plus masaru joining DATS he tries to be a parental figuur to him (like a dad or uncle)

I'm so glad someone finally mentioned this bc I've always thought that abt her hair LMAO Anyways I will give u my perspective w/ Sayuri's death, tho it's a LIL different from some of what you suggested, but I like the idea a lot and have thought about it before.

Firstly, I think Masaru and Chika do get financial support; Sayuri is a stay-at-home mom with two kids in the anime; I'm assuming DATS gave her money in compensation for Suguru's disappearance, especially considering Captain Satsuma and Suguru were friends, as well. So with her death (I'm just chalking it up to illness), the financial support fell to the kids- they get to keep their house and I think they both stubbornly want to so when Dad comes back, he knows where they are (bc mind u canon masaru is only 14; he's still just a kid, and is bound to have some childlike hope/logic) Masaru does drop out and start working- for two reasons. One - His temper and behavior is pretty bad in school- he struggles dealing with his grief, and eventually just can't deal with it anymore; he's getting into more serious fights and hurting other kids, and it has a negative effect on Chika so he just drops out. He was also failing because he almost never studied, just too stressed. Two - Part of him is afraid of what will happen if he doesn't provide or take care of Chika on his own; yes they've got the money, but what if it's limited? Furthermore- he wants her to have nice things. They're given enough to survive, but after losing both their parents, he wants Chika to be happy. Sure, he can't spoil her, but he likes being able to buy her nice things when he can.

He works a few odd jobs- I think the last job he really worked before he ended up meeting Agumon and getting to DATS was at his friends shop- the one there is an episode about? But when it closed he lost it, and was inbetween work. He meets Agumon and Satsuma does recognize Masaru; he is aware of his situation, as Sayuri had asked him to make sure they're taken care of, but I guess he didn't realize how bad things had gotten on Masaru. Instead of Yoshino going to seek Masaru out, the Captain does personally, and tells him a bit about his dad and his relationship with Sayuri. He outright offers a job for Masaru at DATS, and it only gets solidified after Masaru is able to get Agumon to evolve. Satsuma also does this personally to allow Masaru to keep his privacy; it's his choice if he wants the others to know his personal situation. (Masaru doesn't outright talk about it, but he doesn't keep it a secret, either. It is what it is, but he does appreciate being able to tell them on his own)

(I believe in giving Masaru different hairstyle supremacy)

Masaru ofc takes it because he's able to work, and the pay is ggood enough that he feels a bit better about spending more time at home. Satsuma gives him mornings/early afternoons off, allowing Masaru to do housework, cook, etc., Masaru is also very grateful to Agumon- and instead of being hungry af for Sayuri's fried eggs, he obsesses over Masaru's. The companionship and someone to chat with while he does stuff helps Masaru, and he doesn't get nearly as restless anymore given his fights with Digimon make him feel more fulfilled. (There is a part of him that's terrified of something happening, leading him to leave Chika behind; I think he's very much more hesitant about going to the digital world, and needs her encouragement before he goes. As much as Masaru the son wants to find his dad and have a parent, Masaru the brother doesn't want to abandon Chika. I also don't think he goes to the digital world at the end of the series; sure their dad is back, but Masaru's been Chika's main parent figure. I don't think he has it in him to leave her.) While I didn't draw her, Yoshino is definitely really sympathetic, and often buys Masaru and Chika snacks, and gives him rides to places if she's not busy. It becomes a little routine for her and Masaru to go grocery shopping together, and Lalamon often points out how much better Masaru is at housework than Yoshino- obviously to tease and fluster her. She also tries to be there when Masaru has his off and down days- but they all kinda learn pretty quick to just... let him simmer for a bit, and he comes around on his own. Masaru is probably depressed, and it manifests as quiet, slow days, or in angry bursts where he doesn't understand his sadness. Touma and Masaru of course buttheads at first, though Touma is fairly shocked and surprised when he hears Masaru say he takes care of Chika himself because his parents are gone. Masaru doesn't beat around the bush, saying Mom passed away and Dad went missing. Of course they kinda butt heads still when the ever proud and abrasive Masaru doesn't like pity, but Touma, I think, opens up a bit and explains his "pity" is empathy, because his mom died, and his little sister is sick, so he gets it. While I definitely feel thats information Touma doesn't give lightly, I think it's because Touma is rather caring towards Chika too, and at least he had others to take care of him and take care of Relena in his absence. Satsuma does enlist in Touma's help in tutoring Masaru- it's soemthing they'll do in quiet evenings, though Yoshino often has to butt in to get Touma to tone down his genius speak to something a bit less overwhelming. This will be dubbed orphan AU in tags. I will definitely come back, but please ask/prompt more as well hehehe. I definitely want to explore Masaru's relationships w/ some of the adult figures in his life- Satsuma, Yoshino. And ofc how Ikuto would be different given it was Sayuri's motherly affection that had a big effect on him.

[cityandking]

heartbreak, hide, nightmare, torture for dai, minah and bran!

thanks babe // not-so-nice oc asks

heartbreak: Have they ever had a relationship that ended badly? Experienced some other kind of heartbreak? What happened?

DAI — I guess izzy counts? he definitely experienced heartbreak with their falling out, and with the persistent cold shoulder she's given him ever since. but at the same time, there's a part of him that insists he wasn't entirely in the wrong. ...I was gonna say that inoculates him against the worst of the hurt, but actually I don't think that's true. mostly it just makes things complicated and weird MINAH — yeah her relationship with her highschool boyfriend childhood sweetheart ended pretty abruptly after her dad died. tbh her dad's death was the actual heartbreak; it just cascaded into a series of secondary hurts. worse than the breakup itself was the disillusion with everything she'd imagined her life would be. fortunately she found the orchestra BRAN — she's definitely parted with a few exes on bad terms, but most of her relationships aren't deep or serious enough to merit proper heartbreak (plus Bran is typically the heartbreaker, not the heartbroken) . there were probably one or two bad endings really early on, even before she left home. obviously, though, her biggest heartbreak was her mom's death. it was just so slow and all-encompassing and she kept waiting for the time to soften the break and it never did.

hide: What does your OC hide? Why do they hide it?

DAI — I was about to be like "well he doesn't hide things he's just private etc etc" but tbh where does one draw the line? he likes to keep his unkind and ungracious thoughts to himself (mostly). he also hides his fear when he can; there are people relying on him and he doesn't want to be unable to support them. it's not a super conscious thing, but he definitely tucks parts of himself away if he thinks they'll make things harder for other people MINAH — wouldn't you like to know weather boy BRAN — her fears! her anxieties! the way sometimes she forgets how to breathe and it's like the ocean is in her lungs and she's drowning! she's striving to become a thing of myth and legend; she doesn't want to be tangled up in her mortal and human failures and weaknesses

nightmare: What does your OC have nightmares about? How do they deal with their nightmares? Do they tell people, or keep it to themself?

DAI — the abyss (new), the void (-1), failing his loved ones and being complicit in their deaths (-1). in the past he was a "lie in the dark and wait for the fear to pass to go back to sleep" kind of guy, but lately he's been a "get up in the middle of the night because sleep isn't coming" kind of guy. I don't think he goes out of his way to hide that he has nightmares, but he definitely doesn't share the content (tho he might if pressed) MINAH — her dad's death. her mom's death. the dark. being alone. being trapped. being chased. the archdemon. the joining. the blight. she likes working late nights because they wipe her out and help her sleep a little better. she's pretty good at getting back to sleep after a bad dream, but not always—some nights and some dreams are worse than others. she absolutely goes out of her way to hide her nightmares from others (if it weren't for everyone waking up with their archdemon dreams she wouldn't have outwardly acknowledged it) BRAN — bran doesn't have nightmares too often, but when she does they tend to be weird and disjointed vibes(tm) and not any one specific thing. she'll take some air if she's too spooked to sleep. or if she's got a bedfellow who might also be up at odd hours of the night, she's not opposed to sweating out the bad dreams. she doesn't talk about them much because there usually isn't much to talk about; her dreams rarely point to one nightmare-causing thing

torture: Has your OC ever been tortured? Would your OC ever torture someone else?

DAI — aww dai was the one I was thinking about when I wrote that question. he hasn't been tortured (does the abyss count?) but he would definitely torture someone else if he had to. what does "if he had to" mean? hard to say right now but he absolutely has that edge of measured, precise, careful violence in him and the certainty of his own rightness to pursue it. MINAH — no, and also no* (*I think minah could run an interrogation super well but she's squeamish and doesn't want to be in any way a participant in that kind of measured, pre-mediated violence. she's the honey trap, the carrot. she can't be the stick.) BRAN — canon bran has not been tortured and— hm. she'd always rather catch her flies with honey, but I do think there could be a situation (her crew being in danger, for example) where she might turn to carefully-applied hurt to get results. mostly I'm just not sure how much she'd trust that? she's definitely seen some torture in her time—she tries to keep her business square, but it doesn't always work out that way—and in her experience, hurt people say whatever they need to say to stop hurting. (dark au bran has been tortured and also done torturing, and will fulfill her obligations with great precision and skill. I think star wars au bran is also a both/and kinda girlie, though I don't have any specifics down at the moment. if she had to break fingers to track down a member of her crew (looking at you sabine) she absolutely would.)

[a-tale-of-legends]

I finished the relationship post ( family guy death pose) Right now it's mostly like. Who's with who and familial stuff. A lot of uncertainties, that'll probably change in the future. But with that all said, here. I spent way longer on this than I should have ha

Prof Oak - Had a thing with Agatha sometime in the past. Most likely didn't end up together long term ( I mean obviously) and Oak married someone else. She's no longer alive, as is their child, alas.

Red - with blue

Green - unsure

Blue - with red

Daisy - probably has herself a boyfriend

Brock - focused on work, but is bi questioning ( considering dating men)

Misty - ????? She has a boyfriend in the games????? So possibly????

Surge - closeted gay man. He comes out eventually when it really sinks in how queer the league is lmao.

Erika - Happily dating/ married to her old archery partner.

Koga - has a wife that's still alive

Sabrina - Not sure how to feel about dating. Focusing on herself.

Blaine - Simply not interested in dating.

Giovanni - Gets so many bitches lmao. But is married to Ariana in this au.

Ariana - Also swimming in bitches imo. Married to Gio, had two kids that ran away from them rip. Likes getting catty with Archer lol

Pertel - unsure

Lorelei - dated a lot but doesn't get anywhere

Bruno - Isn't interested in relationships atm,but is pan ( much to people's surprise for some odd reason)

Agatha- Had a Thing with Oak once. Terrible experience never again, she's single but probably had a trail of dead husbands in her wake.

Lance - aroace, single dad of 7 ( Kanto trio, johto quartet)

Elm- Wife and two kids ( one of them being Aiko)

Silver - Bi. User to date Aiko before turning his eyes to Kenji

Falkner - Not sure if I want him and Janine to just be mlm wlm besties or an actual couple.

Bugsy - Nonbinary/Agender and waaaaaay more focused on their work with bugs than any relationship atm. ( debating if they're aroace or gay as hell)

Whitney - Gay and dating Jasmine <3

Morty - Morty/Eusine. Not sure if they are dating by the johto arc or not.

Chuck - Has a wife and maybe a kid of his own

Pryce - is a granddad himself. A widow.

Clair - unsure. Has gay aunt vibes but again. Unsure.

Proton - Gay. Gay ass man

Archer - Down bad for Giovanni, insanely jealous of Ariana……probably is Giovanni's side bitch tho lmao

Karen - Honestly, probably gets with Will and maybe Grimsley. Maybe.

Will - Same as above

Birch - has a wife and kids!

Wally- Ends up dating Jin and Kohaku after a long ass time pining.

Roxanne - Maybe with Brawly I dunno.

Brawly - Maybe with Roxanne, again dunno.

Wattson - Unsure. I think in the anime he has a son so maybe????

Flannery - Not dating anyone, but she is pretty gay

Norman - has a wife and kid

Winona - need to think about Steven-Wallacd backstory, but I am liking the idea that she used to date Wallace. Though overall, I'm unsure.

Liza and Tate - ( shrugs ) Tate, for some reason, reads me the type to get crushed easily. But outside of that, they probably don't think about dating until they're older.

Wallace - Looks above at Winona. Still, he ends up with Steven for the long term.

Juan - Single man, doesn't plan on having kids, since Wallace exists.

Phoebe - Unsure

Sidney - Unsure. Wonderful hype man tho

Glacia - Okay so. I saw one hc that Glacia was Siebold's mom and it stuck with me for so long. So I think she had a husband, that left one way or another ( either he died or she divorced him) and she's been single ever since. Her relationship with Siebold is…. complicated. Edit: Glacia is no longer Siebold's mom, rather she's his aunt and legal guardian. They're relationship is still complicated, but there's a level of care here.

Drake - Not interested in relationships

Steven - with Wallace.

Archie - after prison and a lot of therapy, I imagine he gets back with Maxie

Maxie - Same as above.

Shelly - Shelly x Courtney is an interesting ship I've seen but not sure if I want to make it canon. Shelly does get a lot of bitches tho.

Matt - Same with Matt lol. Matt x Tabitha is something I've considered but not sure on. Probably not, given how both parties are, but I'm keeping the option open.

Courtney - Look above at Shelly. Also she does have that obsession with Maxie, though I'm not sure if I want that to be familial or romantic.

Tabitha - Look above at Matt. Tabitha is. Interesting to say the least. The more I think about it, the more I think the ship I mentioned above…. probably wouldn't work. Same with Shelly and Courtney to an extent. Honestly I think he's perfectly fine being single.

Lisia - Bi bi bi, baby. If I wasn't clear, I do plan on making her and Anabel an item.

Anabel - Look above

Noland - Unsure

Greta - Unsure

Tucker - gay as all hell and has had many flings.

Lucy - Serial dater than just can't get them to stay. Probably at a point where she thinks it's better for her to just focus on herself for now.

Spenser - Has a loving wife that's still with him, even at this age.

Brandon - Single, is married to the live of adventure

Zinnia - Requires therapy and traveling around to her to really get with someone.

Prof - Rowan - single. Probably dated a bit in the past but is now married to his work.

Johanna - Not exactly divorced ( yet), but hasn't spoken to her husband in years sooooo. She's not exactly looking for someone right now.

Roark - unsure

Gardenia - unsure

Fantina - Unlike her cousin/sibling ( Tucker), Fantina does actually have a partner. And lots of fans lmao.

Wake - Unsure

Byron - Divorced, but is living happily.

Maylene- Ends up with Candice

Candice - Ends up with Maylene

Volkner - Flint duh

Aaron - Not entirely sure. Definitely queer I think.

Flint - Volkner duh

Bertha - Hmmmm. She deserves a wife. I'm giving her a wife

Lucian - I like the idea of him having feelings for Cynthia, but it's unrequited. Sorry bud.

Cynthia - Bi and has her eyes on a certain actress

Cyrus - Choosing to focus on himself before even considering any type of romantic relationship. Will combust if someone flirted with him.

Mars - Likes the idea of going on dates, never actually been on one.

Juniper - People are too scared to get close with her. Probably for good reason. Fantina is trying ( and failing ) to set her up with someone.

Saturn - Used to be hella gay for Cyrus, but now is just picking up the pieces of everything. Doesn't know how to feel about him, so he's focusing on himself and work.

Charon - No bitches

Palmer - wife and kid

Darach - far too focused on taking care of Caitlin to even consider dating.

Argenta - Wine aunt. Happily single

Thorton - aroace

Dahlia - a free spirit, so she likes having her options open.

Cheryl - Gay

Marley - Also gay. Maybe I should make the date ( shrugs)

Mira - A kid who's main concern isn't dating or noticing who she likes. As for in the future when she's older…no clue.

Buck - Has a crush on a boy on Stark mountain. Doesn't have the guts to confess ironically enough.

Riley - :)

Cedric - Divorced

Aubrey - Married to Fennel :)

Cheren - Gets with Lear*

Bianca - Gets with Roxie

Cilan - Single, too shy to really consider putting himself out there.

Chili - Aroace

Cress - Single, is looking.

Lenora - Canonically married to Hawes. Doesn't plan on having children as of now. They kinda have Cheren for that, ha.

Burgh - I'll give him a win and let him have himself a boyfriend

Elesa - Is with Skyla

Clay - I've definitely seen different takes on him. For now he's a single father of one ( Wayne)

Skyla - Dating Elesa

Brycen - This came to me out of nowhere, but he and Marshall are dating. No one knows except Alder.

Drayden - I already have him as Ingo and Emmets grandpa so, he definitely got with someone, though I think he's single now.

Marlon - Has so many bitches but is too intertwined with the ocean to notice lmao. Maybe one day.

Grimsley - I mentioned he might be a part of a polycule with Will and Karen, but like. Grimsley's a mess. He has many many failed relationships under his belt.

Shauntal - Happily single.

Caitlin - " What? No. Go away"

Marshall- As mentioned before is dating Brycen.

Alder - Widowed granddad.

N - I know he's asexual biromantic. However I'm unsure of what to define his relationship with Kamari. But for now I'll say he's single, living his best life.

Ghetsis - ….I have. No clue.

Colress - Also have no clue!

Sycamore - Has a whole Thing with Lysandre. The sap in me wants them to get back together, but alas.

Dexio - I just saw someone else do it and thought it would be fun. He ends up with Cassius.

Sina - Not sure. I don't even know if she's truly interested in anyone. Possibly aroace.

Shauna: Probably had feelings for Jude and Dante at some point. Probably over then and living her best life.

Trevor - As of Kalos arc, faaaar more focused on the pokedex. After that he probably gets with Tierno.

Tierno - Same as above except he's more focused on dancing.

Viola - *clenches fist* Viola and Perrin are so freaking cute but I don't think they fit in my timeline!!!! So sadly, Viola's gf is someone else.

Grant - Has major feelings for Siebold, but unsure if he feels the same way.

Korrina : Wants a girlfriend so bad ( another sad case of two characters being at different points in the timeline so I can't ship them within the au. This time it's Bea)

Ramos - Was married to his husband for a long time, until he unfortunately passed away. He tries not to let it get him down.

Clemont- His sister keeps trying to get him to date someone lmao. He's moreso interested in his machinery but maybe one day?

Valerie - Debating if I want her to already be with Grant and is aware of the budding feelings between him and Siebold ( it ends in a poly) or just have her single in her own world.

Olympia - Single and is completely fine with that.

Wulfric - has a wife and two kids of his own! Loves them a whole bunch.

Drasna - :)

Siebold - Has not yet realized any of his feelings lmao.

Wikstrom - He has a wife. No kids.

Malva - Messy. Loved and resented Diantha in their relationship. Wished Lysandre would stop putting Diantha on a pedestal, while alSo wishing she was on that pedestal instead. Didn't know how to feel when Diantha ended up with Cynthia.

Diantha - Tried dating a man once. A publicity stunt if anything. After that she realized she was very much a lesbian and was talking more to Miss Cynthia.

Aliana - Unsure.

Bryony - Dating celosia

Celosia - Dating Bryony

Mable - Unsure

Xerosic - lmao

Lysandre - Was with Sycamore. Was.

Kukui - Married to Burnet and ends up having a kid together. Guzma joins in a poly.

Burnet - see above.

Hau - gets with Gladion in the future

Lillie - ends up with Ames

Gladion - gets with Hau in the future

Illima - Big ass crush on Kiawe. Thinks he's being the perfect flirt. He is not.

Hala - has a wife, one son ( who left ) and of course, little Hau as his grandson.

Lana - Unsure *

Mallow - Unsure * ( might make their relationship like the anime tho)

Kiawe - Thinks Illima is kinda weird ( but does have feeling for him)

Olivia - Canonically and chronically single. Girl suffering out here.

Acerola - Unsure ( child)

Sophocles - Unsure ( child )

Molyane - Has a boyfriend of his own, both of them are nerds together.

Nanu - Meowth man. So no one.

Mina - 👍

Hapu - Unsure but she gets flustered very easily.

Wicke - Aroace, happily looking after her friends children.

Faba - No rizz at all. Bitchless.

Guzma - Ends up in a polyam relationship with Kukui and Burnet. Genuinely doesn't know how he got to that point, but he's….happier.

Plumeria - Had the hots for Ames' mom but that didn't go anywhere. Single.

Kahili - Unsure

Magnolia - Still is with her husband. Sonia is her only grandchild.

Sonia - Dating Nessa

Hop - Um. Not sure. I like Hop x Bede but also not sure of I would want it in canon. Hop is ace too, so he's not really focused on those kinds of relationships for the most part. He does get flustered easily lol.

Marnie - It takes her 5 years to get with Naomi. But they get there!

Bede- Similar to Hop. Though I'm honestly just having fun writing his platonic relationships with everyone. He did mistake his platonic feelings/friendship with Naomi for a crush but he quickly realized it wasn't the case.

Milo - Ends up with Gordie

Kabu - Uncertain only bc I like so many hcs. Like I like him and Peony together but also just him vibing by himself is fun. Also him and Melony is cute. So yeah, not sure.

Bea - Eh. She's more focused on school and martial arts to care.

Allister - Has experienced a crush before but is waaaay to shy to do anything about it. Grateful to have the crush as a friend though.

Opal - Much like Agatha, has a history of dead husbands.

Melony - Divorced and has 5 kids ( Gordud, a daughter, and then triplet sons)

Gordie - Ends up with Milo

Piers - I might change this later only bc I'm really thinking about it, but I do see him in a poly relationship with Leon and Raihan. Again might change.

Raihan - Look above. But unlike piers, him and Leon are always end game.

Leon - Again. Look above.

Rose - Had a relationship with Cassandra before realizing she was pregnant was Carol. Was pretty much married to his work after that.

Oleana - similar case to Courtney, though maybe after a lot of therapy she gets with a nice lady.

Mustard and Honey are a couple, with Hyde.

Peony - Similar case to Kabu. Not sure. He has Peonia and recently Carol so he's honestly living his best life.

Klara - Way too toxic to be in a lasting relationship atm. She probably gets better after IoA but uh. Yeah. Not a great dating life.

Avery - Probably had never dated anyone ever…..yeah I can see him and Klara getting together at some point. It is, surprisingly, pretty healthy.

Sada and Turo are, miraculously, together in this au. They're also both dead.

Clavell- Unsure, waiting for the indigo disk to come. To really make my judgement. Was planning on giving him a husband.

Nemona - Unsure. Power of friendship real tho.

Penny - Unsure. above.

Arven - Unsure, again. Look above lol.

Note: I have shipped Arven and Ramona and Nemona and Ramona before but I'm ultimately unsure if I want either to be canon.

Giacomo - Unsure ( please understand I am in shipper hell here)

Mela- Slow to any romance, due to past experiences.

Atticus - Unsure

Ortega - is only 13, and while he knows who he is, he takes much more enjoyment being around his friends.

Eri- Is with Carmen. Duh.

Okay gonna cut the single format, let's get right to the case.

Dendra/Miriam.

Larry is Divorced…..and also has his eyes on Hassel and Brassius who are already a couple. Has not made a move and plans to never ( he fails at this btw). Giacomo is his son ( until I change my mind).

Ryme has a partner but they broke it off. She's happily single now.

Tyme is the opposite with a husband of her own.

Iono doesn't date cause that would mess with her viewers.

Katy and Saguaro seem really cute,I'm considering it.

Jacq - Single dad ( Ramona). Is unaware of a theater teacher's feelings towards him.

Geeta and Rika definitely has a Thing but neither of them really addresses it. They're in their own world.

Poppy - Just wants Larry to say he likes Hassel and Brassius already. Also thinks boys have cooties.

Grusha - Was too depressed to consider dating anyone but is coming around to the idea.

Raifort scares people away lol.

Kofu - Unsure

Tulip - Just doesn't have the time to date

( aggressively points to Luca and Kieran) Kindergarten Divorce.

Carmine - Unsure. Wouldn't be surprised if she scares some people away.

[birdy-brainrot]

Oc summaries

alright I decided do a mini lore dump of my different characters because my brain wont shut up about them ill put my ramblings under the read more if you want a summary of who exactly are my characters (its the characters ive drawn before and shared here lol) warning it does gets long as I realize each character I wrote a big paragraph explaining each of them lol

Birch: the dude as my profile pic lol. basically had a rough childhood its just him and his dad growing up and to help out for the house he got into sales and realized rich people are stupid and gullible so he got random junk as sold it as the next big thing and it worked. One night at one of the mansions of his rich clients finds this very odd book detailing a ritual of some sort with promises of knowledge and power beyond comprehension. He does the ritual ends up getting in contact with an eldritch being and has his mind (just slightly) broken but got these cool new powers now. He goal is now to go on a search for more information on how to contact these beings again and unlock more of that forbidden fruit (tho more he does it more he starts to turn corrupt its a whole thing) Hes not happy how its changing him physically and mentally but he is too obsessed over his goal. (tho in the campaign im going to play im hoping he learns the power of friendship and he stops before hes too far gone lol) oh yea hes also a warlock forgot to mention it and my fav rn.

Clay. Oh my baby my first dnd character I love her. Shes just a water genasi pirate I know cliche. She had an infamous pirate captain mom named Brooke but her mom settled down for a couple years with this hippy wood elf and she had twins clay and kai. Brooke pulled a parent trap on them where she took one kid and the dad took the other. Clay grew up with her mom and the crew on her ship. Brooke decided she needed to calm down and became a normal shipping company (most of the time there was some pirating aside) This made Clay a very wild child who does everything in the most chaotic way possible. Sadly her mom got deathly ill (she got poisioned) and she died so clay got the ship. She has been traveling around the seas with her crew which is basically her family and keep her moms spirit alive by living like her. She is a bard and loves to make friends everywhere she goes and get what she wants. She is about that grind baby all about da money. Very loud and pushy personality but if you get to know her shes just an excitable puppy who loves her friends so so much.

Kai. The sweeter and gentler of the twins. He grew up in a hippie commune middle of the forest with his dad. however since he was the only genasi there he was often treated differently than the rest. Always seen like an outsider. He became very reserved and recluse and spent most his time in the forest where he became friends with the mushrooms. Making him a druid. The mushrooms formed this symbiote relationship with Kai and now they help each other out and besties. He also is accidentally very morbid now as mushrooms are all about decay Kai is very comfortable with death and does not realize other people arent lol.Kai decided he had spent enough time in the forest and set out to go find his long lost twin that his dad told him about. However he has a difficult time in large crowds and dealing with people and takes a while to find her. When he meets up with clay the two are inseparable and become a very comedic and chaotic duo as both are unhinged on the opposite sides of the spectrum.

Vera. Shes basically the closest thing I have to a mary sue lol but I love her so much my unhinged little mad scientist. Basically grew in a rich family and was the top of her class for math and science. Got into a prestige university where she specialized in chemistry and biochemistry (im not a science major please dont judge my lack of science knowledge lol) and graduated top of her class. She is however a bit of a sadist and very curious so she often makes chemicals and viruses that could destroy humanity if she felt bored enough and likes to test it on anyone whos gullible enough to trust her. She even gets paid often to either make these dangerous chemicals or the cures for some. For her its not about the money its the science behind it. Big party girl loves to go to raves often gets dressed up in the best drip. Is up at ungodly hours chugging monster drinks like it water. You know she has that rgb gamer set up. Tried getting dark vision but her project backfired and now she just has glowing green eyes. (still cant see in the dark tho) just living her best life being a mad scientist and having fun with it despite how often she endangers her life and others lol

Quinn. She is high elf royalty however They hate their family (mostly her parents) so so much so she decides to run off and join the circus. Lol not really but they do become a famous jester who plays for all the royal courts across the lands. While they distract the crowds she likes to steal from them adding to her own collection of riches as a fuck you to their parents. They enjoy putting on performances as well for the children she visits when traveling around. She has a soft spot for kids. Otherwise a very standoffish personality who acts like they are above it all. Even tho she acts like that she is very, very lonely deep down and wishes they had even one friend who has their back. Oh yea absolute bisexual disaster, looses all sense of grace around whoever she finds attractive and becomes a rambling mess. Also she/they nonbinary, they like to fuck with gender presentation as a treat. i havent really fleshed them out more than that so yea lol.

gabriel, oh my poor gabriel I dont think of you that often. Basically hes a victorian british man who was happily married to his wife and was going to be a father but she falls deathly ill and tries to find this "cure(its vampirism)" that could save her, however things goes wrong and he ends up turning a vampire himself and the poor wife dies (no i did not fridge her i promise she has a backstory just im not putting it here) lives in his lonely home for hundreds of years isolated other than when he goes hunting for blood. Mopes around the place most of the time being a sad boy. Finds a vampire cat and now he has a cat. Eventually he finds a fellow vampire widow and they fall in love (I havent fleshed out the other vamp yet) and yea. I am not big into romance so I dont know why I wrote so much for gabriel so I tend to forget him as I dont care too much about his story lol hes mostly there so I can draw blood and cool victorian outfits.

[riris-dock]

💕 for ur pokemon s/i :3 she’s so silly…

You're enabling me so bad this is gonna be miles long

Is the protag of gen7/Ultra Moon but different backstory prior to the games!

Instead of being from Kanto like og gen7 protag, she's originally from Alola, but moved away when she was like 6 cause of her dads job. Note that she never rlly had a close relationship w her dad cause its important later 👍 No negative thoughts, he was just very busy w his job and all. First moves to Kanto, lives there for two years, then moves to Hammerlocke in Galar when she's 8 and lives here till she moves back to Alola w her mom at 11.

While in Galar, her mom befriends Raihan's mom, so the two become friends despite a four year age gap(I hc Raihan as 25 by SwSh games so 👍). They hang out somewhat often, Lilith doesn't really have social media until she's like 10 but they stay in contact when she moves back to Alola.

Cue entirety of Ultra Moon that I am not recapping, becomes Alola's first champion, deals with some Ultra Beasts, fucks around and finds out in Ultra Space for fun. Reverse adopts Guzma as her dad because 1) Man that ran away from home is funny 2) just went through some traumatizing shit together 3) Not very close with her actual dad, has no father figure 4) funny dynamic

As a champion she remains pretty lowkey ig? Continues to pick up every odd job she can find, very close with the people in person but remains stone-faced and professional in any official stuff(battles, interviews, etc..). She wants to promote Alola as not just a vacation spot, but also a place that's a serious menace when it comes to battling, despite the league being so new, so she's very active in battling, visiting other regions for exhibition matches and what not.

But! The gremlin is real. Though she's got a lotta work cause league is so new and shes basically the chairwoman,,, she also investigates Ultra Space on the side because she thinks it's fun and a chance to relax!! She may be professional or kind on the outside but by god will she fistfight a UB if she has to.

Here's the spice tho,,, is invited to Galar along w Alola's elite four for some exhibition matches and a small vacation to meet old friends, about when she's 19 so two years before "current" time yk.

First time she sees her friends in Galar since she lived there so she spends a lot of time w them ofc, gets introduced to people within thr Galar league like different gym leaders and, ofc, Piers, who she has a few mutual friends with. Heeheehe they mainly become friends cause Raihan and Leon r like "You're both my pals so you're pals now" n all is almost good

Finally,,, the crushing part(Sorry not sorry this is so long I have soo many thoughts). So Champ originally only sees Piers as a close friend cause they get along well and have shared interests, while Piers starts like,, a small interest at first and then as they get to know each other more has a realisation one day that he's got a big fat fkn crush 😳

Champ only realises like. Almost a year later that she might have a thing for him when she watches one of his concerts for the first time

Ougoiuoho I havent thought out how they start dating yet okay but I'm thinking like. Slowly start doing more n more stuff like holding hands and then one day "so what are we?" "Dating?" Dbjwbehxisn but I also think it would be super cute if Piers was all flustered confessing n shit,,, choices choices. Anyways 1 year later, Champ 21, Piers 23, they r power couple that terrify interviewers 👍

If u read this far I salute you, soldier 🫡

[thegongoozlerreacts]

Cemetery Mary: True End (Crowven's Route)

here i am!! time to get the true end, where i will hopefully get all of the answers to my questions (or at least most of them)

since the ending guide says that the true end is the same regardless of the route you got it on, i will be doing Crowven's and not twyla's or Reginald's because i just really like seeing Mary and Crowven have a good time together

spoilers below

since im gonna get the true ending, i've decided i wont skip anything so that i'll be going through a complete story (does that make sense??)

lol its kinda funny (not really) that Mary's parents were so worried that she'd be a victim of 'the Blackwood Butcher' im sure Reginald would find it funny since the only reason he's killing people is for Mary

i wonder why Reginald killed Mary's aunt and uncle (well i think he did) but only kidnapped her parents (unless he killed them at some point but if he did he would have let the bodies be found yk? for a funeral) maybe its just cuz it was her parents

man the tension between Mary and Crowven at the beginning,,,, at least in this route it will fade away

man,, i wonder what would have happened if Mary had told someone about the mystery number instead of like,, talking to them in secret

Vasilis looks cool i know theyre the mc of Blackout Hospital, and ive been planning to play that game after Cemetery Mary so after i get the true ending im gonna play that game afterwards lmaoo I wonder if Crowven shows up in Blackout Hospital or smth it would be interesting to see more of their relationship

"A chocolate muffin! Because sweet foods are the best!" Mary is so cute aaaaa i love her

i also wonder if we'll ever get an explanation for the animosity between twyla and Crowven like what was all that stuff in the lake about?? i need to know

im now wondering if the mystery number really is Reginald i mean who else could it be tho?? but it wasnt really confirmed in any route that its Reginald behind the mystery number and the kidnapping of Mary's parents, just that he's the killer how odd

ohhhh dude i just realized that Mary never learns that Reginald can tell when someone (when Mary?) is lying bc to get on that route you have to be honest with him, so she doesnt learn until that moment leading up to the good ending crazy

"Manslaughter on the Disorient Locomotive" lmaoo nice

I JUST REALIZED THAT TWYLA IS AN OWL OHHHH MY GOD. that makes sense

also Reginald being a pufferfish??? that explains why to get the good ending on his route you have to pick a pufferfish or a manta ray

wait a second. Mary Anta.... manta ray... OH MY FUCKING GOD

MARY ANTA IS JUST AN ANAGRAM OF MANTA RAY WHHH Ok that explains the manta ray part and why she was drawn with a manta ray cape in that one scene and why she feels connected to them and her hair-horn things oh my fucking god. holy shit. this is revolutionary

theyre so cute

also oh my god i just searched the relationship between crows and owls, and theyre enemies!! like Crowven and Twyla!! this makes me wanna search up other stuff about the animals the characters are associated with but i have a game to play so i'll do that later

"Rest-aurant In Peace" thats hilarious

i feel so bad for Mary :(( i hope she sees her parents in the true ending

so the mystery number denies being the one in the diner, which i know is Reginald cuz of the Reginald route so if the mystery number was really Reginald then why would he say that he wasnt in the diner and that he doesnt know who it was

he could be lying OR im wrong and the mystery number isnt Reginald at all but then who could it be??? well i guess i'll find out in the true end

aww this is so cute- oHMY GOD HER DAD IS A MANTA RAY

HE'S GOT THE HORNS AND A LITTLE TALE i wonder what her mom is another manta ray maybe???

man this dream makes me so sad :(( Mary thinks its another normal but fun day w her parents but turns out its just a nightmare also the text after Mary wakes up from the nightmare is so "What's the matter, Mary? I thought you liked ghosts." its so ?!?!?!??

the arcade music is such a banger fr

so Zapara and Theodore,,, what animals are they at first i thought Zapara was a cat but maybe she's a dog??? her ears look like cat ears so she's probably a cat and then Theodore is.... i have no idea my first thought was a ram but probably not?? maybe he is tho

anyways on with the game

i still think its really funny that Zapara and Theodore thought 'Cemetery Mary' was a ghost

"You just met them in the wrong environment, that's all!" lol and u thought having Mary find out that ur friends keep drugs in the cemetery was gonna make her like them more than a club????

"You'd never catch me here looking like some over-watered pansy!" oh Zapara,,,,, little do u know

i much prefer Mary's communication with ghosts over the cursed manga stuff

Sunny is so cute just adorable

"Who's the Crowven I know? Is he just a ghost too?" MAN this line is so,,,, its so,,,, rrraghhhghhhhgh yeah

they put her there in that nasty bathtub while she was asleep disgusting honestly if i were Mary i would be more mad about the fact they put me in a bath tub and not the mean noose prank that Zapara did

"I am not at all a violent person" lol. lmao. funny joke Reg

cries

"...After having lost so many people..." "...I'm just glad I haven't lost you yet." SOBBING

i love them so much,,, they are so cute,,,,

OKKK now its time for the TRUE END so excited!!

what happens if i say no oh LOL it just ends i mean that makes sense

so this mysterious narrator?? rewinded back to when Mary fell asleep at the mausoleum interesting

this sure is new Mary please dont go inside the suspicious white van (is that a white van???)

oh its the bus LOL ok get on the bus

why is he asking her to go back to sleep?? whats happening??

why are they leaving tf

who is that and wtf is happening????

CROWVEN DONT DO THAT DONT GRAB THE FUCKING WHEEL

OH SHIT THEY CRASHED

this is serious and im lowkey freaking out but this just looks cute

oh my god we're finally getting some answers lets gooooo

waitwaitwait wtf gangs??? like actually?? well ok

nO WAY ???? HE WAS THE HEAD OF CONGRESS?? so that was the war he was talking about

oh is that why Crowven and his family live in a cabin in the woods instead of actually inside the city???

aww cute

OH SO REGINALD DIDNT KILL THEM AT ALL IT WAS GANG STUFF

Crowven fucking inherited this shit??? yoo thats crazy oh is that what he was out of town for?? gang stuff??

OHHH WTF HE'S THE MYSTERY NUMBER??? ok so i was wrong okok wild i thought it was Reginald they both had that vibe

"Why were you so creepy over the phone?!?!" LMAOOO ok but true maybe its just cuz he's old/j

dont trust the old man just cuz he's old Mary

ok i guess the old man isnt too bad,,

Ovidius is nice i like him

if Crowven dies in the true end i will cry lol pls answer Mary's messages u soon u fucking idiot

NOOO WTF HER PARENTS WHERE ARE THEY WTF WTF WTF

i dont why but in my head these guys have a british accent

but theyre the only ones with the british accent so i think thats really funny it was the 'ello miss' that made me give them a british accent

anyways WTFFFFF NOOOOO i really hope her parents arent dead

why are we in a fucking movie theatre

OH SHIT CROWVEN WTF WTF IS HAPPENING

did Mary die is she a ghost wtf wtf i hope she didnt???? maybe this is just some weird nightmare??

ok it was just a nightmare but wtf

so she's in a jail cell

what.... the fuck?????

what ?? the fuck?? no explanation at all and for what?? what is he doing there? why was he not talking? where is he going? what the fuck is happening???

LETS GOOO CROWVEN'S ALIVE LETS FUCKING GO

Crowven r u fucking serious????

NOOO WAY TWYLA???? oh my god oh ok so that sorta explains the lake stuff n why they hate each other so much bc theyre in opposing gangs

oh fuck oh no she saw Mary

oh wait wtf she's helping Mary?? fr?? ok i guess she isnt that bad but i still dont like her

oh she's insane actually

oh ok i fucking knew it there is absolutely no reason to trust her

AH FUCK OH NO OH SHIT

lets fucking go!! thanks Ovidius

LETS GOOOOOOOO

goddamnit Crowven STOP IT

Mary what r u doing this is a fucking trap i feel it in my bones no way is it that easy

LMFAOOAOA ITS TWYLA'S CAR

she just threw her phone out the window tf

ok so thats really not important compared to everything else thats happening like the fact that Crowven's in the car that was chasing them

does twyla know abt Mary's ghost communication thing or smth cuz in the route i played she didnt get a chance to learn

oh ok nvm its not even a real mausoleum

i hate twyla so much

OHHHH SHE'S IN THE GHOST WORLD

BC SHE'S UNDER THE CEMETERY,,, ALSO THATS ED THERE TOO

oh my god its death???

crazy she's talking to death and theyre a unicorn????? or narwhal??? wait that doesnt matter

ok so Mary gave up her ability to visit the afterlife unfortunately but its ok it was for her family bro that was literally a deus ex machina right???

lets fucking go!!!

wild crazy insane all those words describe twyla

twyla shut the FUCK up

WAIT WAIT WAIT WTF???

NOOOOOOOO OVIDIUS NOOO WTF WTFWTF

ok so 1) Reginald just up and left with no explanation if i went on his route and got the true end from there then how would that happen? like would we get answers for the manga and that headstone? does Mary react to the fact that she has the ability to visit the afterlife for the first time there???

also a small headstone with twyla's initials showed up??? weird

wait what the fuck what???? huh??? will there be a sequel to this game bc i need an explanation for that and everything else

wow,,, so thats really the end wow

this whole game was an absolutely wild ride but i loved it

even tho there's still some mysteries yet to be tied up... im glad Mary and Crowven and her family are safe and are living a good life now its really nice

i do wonder if there'll be a sequel tho bc i'll definitely play that (there's a prequel so im also gonna play that too)

well,,, time for me to at breakfast bc ive been playing this game since 6 am and i am hungry LOL

[annaizscribbling]

hi it is me sending an ask i would like to know ur thoughts and feelings about calypso rn (i dont have anything specific in mind i just wanna hear about her)

(I start with Cal and eventually go off the rails whoops)

I’m thinkin about just how far she’s come. How hard she’s fought and is fighting to just be a person.

her relationship with the Daniel and her odd friendship with the Girls is what makes it so evident. She’s allowed to care about people for the first time, she’s allowed to be cared for.

She has very little clue as to how to express and receive affection, connect with people, and be around other human beings without being on guard. She doesn’t know to be vulnerable, or how to not know where every entry and exit is in every room. But she’s trying really hard.

Ellie was her first real friend, and even then, it originated in complete lies, but even years later, Ellie was the first. From there she slowly befriended the other girls, and it was so strange for both them and her, but taught her a lot.

With Daniel, she made the express decision to be as honest as possible, even though the idea scared her.

Their relationship just hsdhshdbhdygkwhad makes me feel so many things ahhh.

He’s so so gentle and sweet and supportive and kind and really good at reading her. He’s super patient and trusting, she’s very open about her past with him, and he’s always willing to listen.

They love small things with a lot of thought behind them. He plans picnics, she hand embroiders a honey comb pattern into a baseball cap to match his dog Honey’s leash, he always keeps Calypso’s favorite tea in his pantry even tho he doesn’t like it, she secretly drops off his favorite homemade lunch on his desk at work, Daniel learns how to knit from his mom so he can knit Cal a scarf, Calypso brings him new plants for his windowsill, and so many other little things that mean the world.

Daniel loves taking her places she would’ve missed out on. They go to amusement parks, zoos, movie theaters, waterparks, arcades, and whatever else she never got the chance to do as a child with her family. 

She reveals pieces of her childhood, her crimes, her fears, and the heinous details of what her parents were like. It’s so horribly hard, but she’s able to tell him, and he’s always there to listen. He tells her about the tragic loss of his dad when he was 14, and she’s there to sit with him quietly on the tough days. They support each other.

They just <333333333

All of the relationships, both romantic and platonic, are so very special to me. But since I’ve been talking about Daniel and Calypso, I just wanna brain rot about how I view the romantic relationships I write.

I wanted to make sure that the relationships aren’t what fixes the girls, (or the guys, but I focus on the gals) because romantic (or platonic for that matter) relationships don’t fix people, but they can motivate, I think. 

Daniel isn’t fixing Cal, but he’s a genuinely good person, who cares about her, and that in itself pushes Calypso to be better. A good man with a good heart can’t give Calypso herself a good heart, but it can motivate her into trying to find her own. A safe patient person who loves her gives her an example of how to express the love she always had within her. He’s willing to forgive her when she messes up and that alone flips her worldview upside down. He inspires her to get in touch with her own humanity. She can express herself around him and the girls, she can care for people, she can relax, she can enjoy things, she can be vulnerable. Daniel didn’t give that to her, but his own warmth managed to thaw her just be being in the vicinity.

Athena and her soon to be husband, Seven are a different couple that I love greatly. Both are functional, content people on their own, but as a couple, they manage to offer support in the areas that the other struggles with. Athena is able to shed some of her stress, loosen up, and take life less seriously with Seven, who effortlessly manages to help her let her own guard down. Athena helps Seven find structures and motivation where he struggles to find it, her own driven outlook on life inspires Seven to pursue what he loves. He supports her when her anxiety is overwhelming her, and she’s patient when he finds himself going through a depressive or low energy phase. Their relationship involves a ton of mutual support and encouragement. They’re super playful and witty, spending so much time engaging in banter and trying to make the other break out laughing. (also,,, the two met in highschool, hated each other, and ended up meeting as adults, then fake dating for half a year before falling in love and I love it for them)

Jonathan and Luna are lovely but I don’t have a ton of stuff for them yet. I really only write like one new character a year, so I don’t have a ton of content for them yet ngl.

Idk if Bree or Ellie will end up in romantic relationships at some point. If they do, it won’t be for quite a few years. ‘Current’ timeline, they aren’t dating anyone in particular. I do kinda want to imply that most of them date here and there, but aren’t long term characters worth mentioning because they don’t last. At any point, Ellie or Bree could be seeing someone, but they aren’t really named. 

Calypso is actually the first to enter her lasting relationship, then Athena a few years later, then Luna meets Jonathan.

I’m not completely sure, but I love the idea of Ellie not really being too interested dating for a decade or so. I think she’ll start a craft store, and slowly end up doing pretty well. In her late thirties, she starts fostering kids. She lives above the craft store, and has staff and is financially stable enough to commit to fostering some kids, being an emergency home for kids in between families. So she dedicates her life to that. Maybe she meets someone in her late fifties, falls in love, and gets to continue her dream with a husband by her side, but maybe not. Who knows? It’s not a necessity for her, she’s very content with her life, but it might be cute so idk.

I have no idea for Bree yet. Her future is very undecided atm. But I’m working on it lmao

[aeroplaneblues]

I’m rereading jjk from the prep arc to refresh my memory, i dropped it around midway the culling game so i barely remember anything. I’ll be posting my thoughts per vol to make this fun!

So!! Vol 17 tl;dr thoughts: i liked it better half of it is maki and she is a pretty cool character, im just sad about how gege handled mai and nobara’s supposedly confirmed death. It could’ve been different. We should’ve had more of yaga before, also naoya sucks! Choso my beloved he is so cute about yuuji🥹 overall great volume!!

More vol 17 thoughts as i was reading:

- senpai yuuta is so confident😭

- naoya…😒

- One page, we get one page of kugisaki’s status but not in a clear way bc this could still be “nothing has changed, she hasn’t woken up” its nov 9 when that conversation happened, only a little more of a week from kugisaki’s “1% chance” we cant get a solid answer? A “odds were against her” but just yuuji’s I GET IT and megumi’s silence, doesnt cut it.

- Yuuta sees Maki and turns back to puppy mode, same

- “You can think of him as my big brother” 😭😭😭 my fave page, cant wait to see it animated

- Forgot how accidentally funny yuuji was, yes tengen is ugly looking

- So kenjaku was like AFO collecting CTs blood manipulation from kamo, whatever yuuji’s mom had, and curse manipulation for all his silly little evil plan for the fun of it (i do remember that)

- I love that yuuta is still the guy that says someone is stronger than him even when we all know is not true. He is closer to gojo and yuki’s level if anything

- Choso loves yuuji so much😭😭😭

- Wait where are all the panda like creations of yaga now? Like can they fight, what are these remind me of🤔

- Man i forgot so much of yaga, there so much about him that is interesting for him to be killed off and remembered just as panda’s dad imo. Ig it was more like a surprise reveal but we could’ve had some hints idk

- Megumi’s “i dont want it” jon snow moment is really funny

- The Zen’in fam are fucked lmao

- I still hate mai dying, i get the logic behind it. But it still feels unsatisfying ending for a character, unlike nanami hurtful but understandable and a good closure

- Mai took maki’s heart😔

- Naoya’s simpness for toji will never not be funny

- Bro thinks he’s as powerful as gojo🤭

- I do like maki’s personal arc, “burn it all” is a powerful thing, there were no other alternatives but to start anew. She did what toji couldn’t.. wouldn’t?

-I just find it weird they had two children in the same family line with a heavenly restriction? Maki and Toji being cousins and having the same exact powers ? Not like him dying gave her the heavenly restriction.

-We should’ve had more moments of Maki and Megumi’s relationship as second cousins or a mentioned of it tho, Megumi doesn’t want to acknowledge he is zen’in but still would’ve been funny when others do. Mai was perfect for this.

[trashblackrainbow]

i saw your aot take and i agree with the lesson you take abt not hating anyone, it but i gotta ask, since it's not really a "fact" that eren is historia's baby daddy, why would you want that to be the case or how would that even change anything if he was? what purpose would that serve, esp given how he never thinks abt his supposed baby mama and kid, never brings it up once not even to armin, and admits he likes another girl? and the kids actually daddy gets to be a normal dude who isnt a mass murder? i just cant see how ppl could want that so badly when it doesnt really seem like who her baby daddy is serves the purpose of the narrative at all. i also cant see historia and eren being intimate with each other after her telling him abt his genocide... he looks disinterested about her upset feelings and she looks scared tbh. i dont think eren needs to procreate with anyone. that's why i'd like to know from your perspective why him being the dad would be so important to you when it's all abt historia's choice. it seems people just wanted eren to have sex

I get what you’re saying and I respect that and agree with you thinking canonically.

Honestly I just think they would make a great pair, even since they were kids they always sympathized with each other and I just liked them in a relationship way. A little headcanon for me. I don’t actually know how rooted the fandom is into this idea since I’m new to the AOT universe.

Being more detailed about what goes on in my head with this thing not knowing what anyone else thinks about this:

I’m a firm believer Eren had a close relationship with his mom and because of that he always wanted to have his own family. So him having a kid with Historia is his way of achieving that. His little way of saying look I was here and I have descendants. But this is not something he could do with Mikasa because she’s too precious in his eyes for carrying a mass murderer’s baby. I never thought about it in a way of Eren having sex before sacrificing himself, I don’t care about that in particular.

Obviously it is Historia’s choice so maybe I just don’t like her having a baby and a family with someone who bullied her even if it was so long ago. Since we know her past wasn’t the best and I love her I just can’t stand someone who hurt her now sharing a bed with her. I’m confident Eren would treat her right and would care for her. If him being with Mikasa wasn’t an actual thing and Eren lived or whatever, I would wish for him to be with a caring and nice person, Historia specifically.

Believe me I love Eren with Mikasa and I got to ship them even tho in the beginning I thought it was a bit odd because they were almost like siblings since they shared a childhood home and all. I love how honest and vulnerable he was about his feelings for her, we don’t see that everyday.

The reason I’m putting these thoughts out there is because I’m rewatching AOT and I plan on reading the manga soon to get my thoughts more clear about everything in the story. I feel like I never watched it because just now realize so many things and it’s just crazy the amount of parallels and foreshadowings.

A bit long but I hope you’re satisfied with the answer. If you want to talk more about this I’m happy to do so. 🤍

[pantheramore]

2, 3, 12, 14 for the self insert lore for Vosco

2. when in canon does your self insert come in? do you have a scene in mind for your entrance?

Vosco is involved in the main canon throughout most of it's run, and they joined the Shishigumi after Louis became boss, but they aren't particularly noteworthy from Legoshi's perspective. Vosco does beat him up before the lions try to drown him tho.

3. how do the other characters generally feel about your self insert?

The votes are... mixed.

The other Shishigumi consider Vosco their friend, though they have some tension with Free that could be interpreted as... a little more than platonic.

Agata and Dope are like Vosco's younger brothers and Jenma and Sabu are like older brothers.

Melon hates Vosco because they're also a carnivore/herbivore hybrid and about to be a new parent and that just sits too close to comfort for him and reminds him both of himself and his mom.

Louis doesn't have any particularly strong opinions on Vosco, but they end up getting closer after canon ends because he's the only one from the Shishigumi that Vosco has left after the others are arrested, and just bonding over their shared experiences of being herbivores (or partial herbivores) in the Shishigumi.

Ibuki is their partner, obviously, and I could write essays on them but basically Ibuki and Vosco are people who see the person they desire to be in each other, thus they admire each other greatly, but also help each other to avoid the mistakes they've made as they strive to become the person they desire to be.

Along with Louis, Vosco is someone who helps Ibuki maintain his sense of self. He's honored that Vosco is a herbivore that not only sees him for who he is beyond the King of Beasts, but loves him in part because he is a lion. They are the one keeping him sane after Louis leaves and Melon takes over.

All Legoshi knows about Vosco is that there is one particular 'lion' that really has it out for him, but after canon he'll eventually learn that Vosco had a lot of resentment towards him for his role in making Louis leave the Shishigumi (and subsequently, Ibuki getting shot, even tho he doesn't die in this au), as well as just hating that they see a more extreme version of their former self in Legoshi and absolutely can't stand it. Vosco grows to tolerate him eventually though.

12. how would the fandom view your character?

I feel like Vosco would be very polarizing. On one hand, they're a ball of wild impulses who uses their role in the Shishigumi to act on whatever violent urges they desire, quick to anger, and they make a lot of poor decisions, but they're also someone who just needed someone who understood them (and probably some therapy) and ended up falling into the wrong crowd. They're extremely loyal and has a soft spot for anyone that society outcasts, so I could see how they could be equally frustrating but also compelling.

13. does your self insert have any information about their family?

Vosco's (biological) dad was a Tasmanian devil, but he died when Vosco was 12. Vosco's mom is a bison, and vosco's stepdad is a boar (or maybe an ox, I haven't decided yet).

They were raised mostly by their mom, who, while they still have a positive relationship, believed that Vosco would have more opportunities if they masked as a pure bison, and thus did not properly acknowledge the Tasmanian devil side of them. Because of this, Vosco has always felt closer to their dad. Though Vosco looks mostly like a bison, their personality and cravings align much closer to that of a devil.

Vosco's relationship with their family is somewhat strained, they don't see their dad's side as often, yet get along with them better, whereas their relationships on their mom's side just have a lot of unspoken tension because Vosco feels like they can't be their true self around them, and they know that Vosco is kind of the odd one out in the family, but it's something that isn't really acknowledged any deeper than their family just having the expectation that Vosco should just be "normal."

[nessinborderland]

Devil Beside You (01)

Pairing: Gwinam x Reader

Genre: Smut, Angst, soft!dark

Word Count: 4.3k

Summary: You have some secrets you want to keep hidden and Gwinam happens to want a slave that is willing to obey his every command. You both so happen to live in the same home.

Warnings⚠️ Porn With Plot, Step-siblings, Manipulation, Horny Teenagers, Dubious Consent, step-siblings that hate each other, step-siblings that fuck, Toxic Relationship, they're young and they're dumb, Rough Kissing, Neck Kissing, Dry Humping, Blackmail, Dirty Talk, Phone Sex, Masturbation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Notes: Here it is, my second Gwinam fic to date and my 41th fic posted in this blog lol. This will be a mini-series of - at least - 3 parts. Might be more tho, I have a lot planned for this even tho I have no idea what the ending will be lol. Hope you enjoy! <3

Yoon Gwinam knew exactly how to rile you up without you being able to do anything about it. It was always small comments – usually in earshot of your parents – that started a fight between both of you and ended up with you being grounded because of it.

Like right now his eyes were locked on you on the other side of the dinner table, the malicious glint in them making you gulp before you rushed to fill your mouth with another spoonful of rice.

He was about to do it again.

“Hey, Dad,” his expression was casual curiosity as he addressed the man at the head of the table, “did any of you leave the house at about one in the morning?”

You hated him. Of course he knew.

Fuck you, you hoped your eyes transmitted the message as you threw daggers at him. You had made sure everyone was asleep before leaving the house, but that obviously didn’t matter when you had a personal demon that was set on fucking you over.

“No, we were both in bed at that time,” his dad said and your mother nodded in agreement from her seat beside you.

“Why do you ask, dear?” she asked.

You acted like you didn’t notice the suspicious glance she sent in your direction, focusing on your food like it was the most interesting thing for you to do at the moment.

Gwinam made a show of confusion, hand covering his mouth to hide a smile as he hummed with a pensive expression.

“Just wondering…” he shrugged, glancing at you for a second before focusing again on your mom. “Was studying until late last night when I heard footsteps and the front door closing. Thought for a moment that someone was taking Cookie for a walk, but he slept in my room all night.”

What a bunch of bullshit. You knew for a fact that the dog had been sleeping in the hallway. You had tripped over him on your way out.

“That is odd…” your mother said. Everyone’s eyes were on you now. “Y/N, do you know anything about that?”

You tried to think of a good enough answer, knowing that no one would believe you if you flat out said no. This was not the first time – and surely wouldn’t be the last – that Gwinam snitched about something you had done that was against your mother’s rules.

“I got a call from a friend last night.” That was the truth. “She was upset and wanted to talk, so we sat down at the park for a few minutes.” That was a half-truth, more lie than anything. “I know I shouldn’t have left so late on a weeknight, but she really needed me, mom.”

You hoped that the regretful expression you were trying to put on was enough to spare you from at least having your phone taken from you. You knew his dad wouldn’t really intervene besides a disappointed look, but your mom was always so strict when it came to you it could be suffocating at times. She did want the best for you, but her rules were in no way aligning with what you wanted to do. You were eighteen now; dating, partying, and drinking with friends sounded much more appealing than studying.

“Okay… it was nice of you to help a friend in need,” she started in a stern tone, “but remember that you have exams coming up. You should be studying and sleeping well, not staying up until late.”

“I know, sorry, mom,” you said in your meekest tone, hoping that she would leave it at that. She usually would, but that was only when Gwinam wasn’t interested in adding more fuel to the fire.

A glance in his direction told you that he was definitely thinking about it, so you controlled the will to childishly stick your tongue out at him before asking for permission to leave the table, offering to do the dishes as an appeasing gesture towards your mom.

You could feel his eyes on your back as you went around tidying up the kitchen, but every time you looked at him on the sofa his eyes were down on his phone. It made you wonder how much more he knew, if at all; it wasn’t the first time he kept something to himself in the hopes of making your life hell in the near future. For your sake, you hoped that he knew nothing.

You brushed your teeth with more strength than necessary, replaying the dinner conversation in your head over and over. Why did the sadistic asshole always had to act like that? It was like he lived to screw you over, always finding a reason or a way to put you in situations where you would be reprimanded. Your anxiety and irritation only grew the more you thought about it, fearing the consequences if he ever talked.

Cursed was the day your mother married his father. Three years had gone by since then, but living with Yoon Gwinam felt more like three decades in hell. You knew he didn’t like you from the beginning, but you thought you could at least have a somewhat civil relationship since you were so close in age; you dropped that thought quite early in your relationship as step-siblings. He didn’t start with being mean, acting more cold and distant as time went by, eventually evolving into mean pranks and teasing jokes that you threw right back at him. In school, you just acted like you didn’t know each other, even avoiding going home at the same time so you wouldn’t have to be in the same vicinity for longer than necessary.

Then one day – for some reason you never quite understood why – the dynamics changed. The mean pranks turned into actually manipulative situations where he made you act as his maid in exchange for his silence. The avoidance at school turned into bumping in the hallways and light bullying from him and his friends, and it was now normal for him to walk with you home while constantly teasing you and pulling your hair like an unruly child. It was beyond annoying, and the day where either of you finally moved out couldn’t come soon enough.

Speaking of the devil, you thought to yourself as you saw him lean against the door frame from the corner of your eye. You chose to ignore him as you finished your night routine, knowing that he could only be here to taunt you some more.

You kept your eyes in the mirror as he nonchalantly approached the sink before grabbing his own toothbrush, also acting like you weren’t there as he started brushing his teeth beside you.

“Does your mom know about your older boyfriend that you totally didn’t meet last night?” he abruptly said, words muffled from the toothbrush in his mouth.

You froze, your mouth filled with water and toothpaste before you spit it out, cleaned your mouth, and rushed to close the bathroom door as silently as possible.

“What do you think you’re talking about?” you asked in a breathy whisper as you slapped his shoulder. If your mom heard about this you would be as good as dead.

His smirk turned into a mean grin as he finished brushing his teeth and cleaning his mouth, and you knew then that he was about to use what he knew to manipulate you into oblivion. You would never say it to him, but you would rather be his maid for a year than face your mother’s wrath if she ever found out about your secret affair.

“You’re so dumb,” he chuckled with a shake of his head, “I can see the park from your window, and I’m pretty sure that what I saw weren’t you and your friend talking.”

“You were in my bedroom?!”

“What would your mother say if she knew you were practically fucking some random dude in a public park?” His mocking tone made you squeeze your fists at your side. “And before you say I’m lying…” he pulled out his phone, and your first thought was ‘oh, no’ “isn’t this you sitting on a guy’s lap while sucking off each other’s faces?”

Your eyes went wide and your stomach dropped. The photo on his phone was dark and taken from a distance, but you could clearly recognize yourself sitting on someone’s lap on a park bench, your pink shirt a fast indicator that it was you. If anyone saw that picture, you would be done for.

Gwinam, on the other hand, looked very pleased with himself.

“So…” he said as he put his phone back into the pocket of his hoodie, “should I go show this to your mom?”

God helped you, did you want to punch that smug smirk off his face.

“What. Do you. Want?” you forced the words out of your mouth as you tried not to do something that would throw you in jail.

You knew he wanted something; he always did, the greedy little bastard. You started to prepare yourself for the inevitable list of chores that he expected you to do for him, from making his bed, to giving him a foot massage, to carrying his backpack. Whatever it was, you had done it all before.

But you never expected what he demanded next.

“A kiss.”

“A kiss?” you repeated, now as a question. He could ask for anything, and he wanted a kiss? From you? “Are you crazy?! I-I’m gonna tell your dad,” you mumbled as you turned around to leave.

Who the hell did he think he was? You didn’t want to cheat on your boyfriend, and you definitely didn’t want to kiss him, of all people. Your hand was already around the doorknob when he pulled you by the wrist and pushed you against the door, making you gasp as he trapped you with his body.

“Why?” he asked like his request was even remotely acceptable. He leaned closer to you, eyes on yours in a challenging look. “You don’t think you can do it, hmm? Would you rather I tell everyone how much of a slut you are?”

You gulped and averted your eyes to the side as you gave it a thought; it was only a kiss. Something that meant nothing and it would end fast. You would demand he deleted the picture after you did what he asked. Things would be back to how they were, except for the part where you would be a thousand times more careful when acting against your mom’s rules.

“If I do it you’ll delete it, right?” you asked, eyes back to focusing on him. He nodded, smile growing wider, and you sighed as you made your decision. “Fine.”

You tried not to think too much about it as you grabbed his collar, rose yourself on your tiptoes, and pressed a quick peck to his lips. It ended as soon as it started, and you turned around to finally open the door and run to your bedroom when he grabbed both your wrists and pressed them against the door.

“I asked for a fucking kiss, not a smooch from my grandma,” he grumbled before he tilted your head up by the chin and crashed his lips on yours.

This one felt like it lasted an eternity. His hold on you was strong even when you tried to break it off, so you let him move your head and kiss you as he wanted to, mouth moving against yours in an urgency that surprised you. You closed your eyes and thought about that picture on his phone while you tried to match his enthusiasm, kissing him back as your hands grasped his hoodie, hoping that being submissive like this would be enough for him. Your heart was beating so fast you could barely hear anything else.

“Hmm, not bad,” he whispered in an approving tone as you felt his hands sliding down your body to give your ass a tight squeeze. “Fine ass too.”

You hummed against his mouth and tried to slap his hands away, but he only smiled in the kiss as he ignored your protests, slightly nibbling your bottom lip until you felt his tongue forcing its way in. His tongue was wet and warm as it touched yours, and you barely thought about it before sucking on it, the grunts you got in response only encouraging you further.

A moan left your lips as he suddenly broke the kiss to latch onto your neck, sucking that spot on your skin that made you throw your head back and squeeze your thighs together. It felt so good that you barely remembered you were in your bathroom, with your parents in the house, making out hot and heavy with your insufferable step-brother.

“You’re horny, right now, aren’t you?” he whispered before nibbling that spot where your neck met your shoulder, making you whine like you were in agreement. “Bet I could touch your pussy and find it soaking wet. Wanna be a good girl and let me try that?”

That made you escape whatever spell you were under, and you pushed him back as strongly as you could, heart racing and panting while your body felt hot all over. You were glad for the first time in your life for Gwinam’s ability to say the wrong thing – usually at the wrong time – now at the right.

You were confused and scared by what had just happened; he was supposed to hate you, but here he was kissing the breath out of you and making you horny while doing it. You could feel the hot wetness in between your legs as well as you could see the clear hard-on in his pajama pants. This wasn’t supposed to happen, you thought as a sense of disgust flooded over you at the realization of what you had done. This was a secret you were taking with you to the grave, there was no doubt about it.

“I-I did it,” you whispered before gulping and repeating it louder, “I did it. Now delete it.”

“Delete what, exactly?” The mischievous glint in his eyes was the first sign that something was wrong. The second was when he took out his phone and asked, “Want me to delete this pic… or this pic?”

The motherfucking snake.

You just stared at his phone screen, mouth agape and eyes wide as you felt like the rug had been pulled from under your feet. The photo had been taken in selfie mode and – while shaky – showed you two very clearly kissing, your arms around his neck as he sucked on your bottom lip.

Tears stung your eyes as you took a step towards him, legs shaking as you felt yourself panicking even more than before. If anyone saw that photo, especially both of your parents, you would never hear the end of it. You didn’t even want to imagine how things would be at school if someone found out that you had kissed your step-brother. He really was set on ruining your life, and you had no idea why.

“Why did you-” you shook your head, saying the next words in a whisper, “If anyone finds out…”

“I know.” He looked so unbothered by it that for a moment you just stared at him, trying to understand. “Now you get to choose one thing to delete and I get to have something on you. You just have to choose.”

“Choose, I- can’t you delete both?”

“Well, I could, but- shit, don’t you fucking cry, they’ll hear,” he said in a rough whisper as he cradled your face in his hands, wiping your tears away with his thumbs. “C’mon, I’m giving you a choice, just choose one.”

You nodded as you considered what choice to make. You wanted neither of those photos to be shown to anyone, no doubt that if they were ever leaked all the people in it would suffer consequences; but only one of them involved someone you liked. It was not like you couldn’t delete the other yourself, one way or another. You would find a way.

“Delete the park one,” you said without hesitating, forcing him to show you the phone as he pressed the delete button.

“There, see?” he said while showing you the rest of his camera roll. “Done.”

The chance of him having taken more than one photo was high, but you knew that if you pressed him on that he would deny it, either way, so you let it be a problem for future you to worry about.

You said nothing as you sent him one last angry look before storming out and closing yourself in your room on the other side of the hallway. You let out a long sigh, glad that your parents hadn’t noticed a thing going on, if your stepfather’s snores and your mother’s commentary as she watched her favorite drama was anything to go by.

Gwinam’s steps as he made his way to his own room next to yours made you listen attentively as he closed the door before the muffled sound of rap music reached your ears.

You remembered his words earlier when he mentioned getting in your room, and you wondered for a moment if he had done anything else than just staring out of your window. A quick look around told you you had nothing to worry about, but you also knew he was way too smart to not leave things exactly as he found them. You cursed the rule that forbade you from locking your own room; you had never expected him to invade your privacy like that, but of course he would.

You threw yourself on the bed, grunting as you stretched your back, suddenly feeling incredibly tired. You noticed it was almost ten in the evening as you unlocked your phone to check for new messages from your boyfriend. Well, Jihoon wasn’t exactly your boyfriend – at least in the traditional sense of the word – but you liked him enough to consider him as such. It only made you feel more guilty for what you had done with Gwinam.

Your lips were still swollen from his kiss, and you knew that if you looked in the mirror there would be a hickey forming on your neck. His words about you being horny just from his kisses were true too, even if you hated to admit it. The cold wetness sticking to your panties didn’t lie, nor did the frustrated state you were in now. Had you actually enjoyed it, though? You did, you begrudgingly told yourself. You loved it and you hated yourself for it. Gwinam was attractive – even with his constant asshole behavior – and he clearly knew what he was doing, so how could you not?

Because I hate his guts, that’s why.

As if hearing your thoughts, your phone dinged with a new message, and you hurriedly unlocked it just to get disappointed as you noticed it was Gwinam. You sighed and threw your phone beside you on the mattress without even reading the text; you didn’t care what he had to say, and it was probably something stupid anyway.

You let out a frustrated sound before deciding to turn off the light and put yourself under the covers, taking out your pajama pants in the process. That uncomfortable feeling in between your legs felt like a hitch you couldn’t scratch. Well, it wasn’t that you couldn’t, but more like you didn’t want to; because actually touching yourself meant that he won, and you couldn’t let that happen.

The phone beside you rang this time, followed by a knock on the other side of your wall. You rolled your eyes as you reached for your phone, pressing the answering button and putting it against your ear without even checking the caller.

“What do you want?”

“Just letting you know that you’re in charge of taking my and Myeonghwan backpacks to school.”

“And why in the hell should I carry your dumb friend’s bag?”

You knew it was a stupid thing to say the moment you said it, and he knew it too.

“Because I have something that could ruin your life,” his smile was clear even through the phone, “as simple as that.”

“It could ruin your life too…”

“Yeah, but I’m the one controlling the narrative here.” He was right and you hated it. “I can blur my face or I can use that photo to say that we did way more than kissing… it’s all up to me. You should keep that in mind.”

“I hate you.”

“You say that but your pretty moans tell a different story,” he said. His tone was huskier now, and it made a chill run down your spine. “I’m sure you’re still wet and horny as fuck. I know I am.”

You felt your cheeks heat up at his words; he was right and you couldn’t even deny it to yourself as you pulsed around nothing, crossing your legs to find some relief. You should have hanged up as soon as he started acting like a pig, but you found yourself unable to; you wanted to hear more.

“Fuck,” the low moan said right in your ear made you gasp and squeeze your legs tighter, “I swear to all the gods, if our parents weren’t home I would have fucked you against the sink and you would’ve let me.”

“I-I wouldn’t.”

Your pathetic little denial couldn’t even convince you.

“Yes, you would.” You heard him laugh on the phone and in the other room, a low and raspy sound that made you wonder if he was doing what you thought he was doing. “I could’ve stripped you down and fuck you and all you would scream would be my name and for me to fuck you harder.”

His panting breaths were now clearly audible on the phone, and you gasped as you felt how only hearing that affected you. You barely noticed how your hand had gone down your body to rest on top of your clothed mound, fingers lightly pressing against your clit over the fabric.

“Are you touching yourself right now?” he asked.

The question was followed by a sharp intake of breath, and you closed your eyes as you finally put your hand inside your panties, surprising yourself by how wet and warm you were.

“N-No,” you lied, hips slightly thrusting into the air as your fingers went up and down your slit.

“Liar,” he chuckled, and you weren’t even mad you couldn’t lie to him. That didn’t matter when your body was begging to be pleasured. You wanted to hear his voice more, and he was sure to oblige. “I know you want something thick to fill you up, someone to fuck you like the horny slut you are.”

You moaned in response, followed by one of his throaty moans as you heard his breathing get deeper. You tried not to, but it was impossible not to imagine him sprawled in bed much like yourself, underwear down as he jerked himself off while thinking of you. It filled you with pride, knowing that you could make someone feel like that, even if that someone was him.

“Wanna know what I would do right now if I could?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “Take you to my bedroom and fuck you on all fours on my bed until you’re crying and begging me to stop. Then I’ll just keep fucking you until you’re covered in my cum.” He let out a mix of a moan and a laugh. “F-Fuck…w-would you like that, to be my personal cum bucket?”

His vulgar words made your cheeks so hot you felt like you were on fire, but it didn’t stop you from touching yourself, fingers massaging your clit in circles as you heard him masturbate together with you. Your horny mind almost told him to do exactly that and possess you like he wanted to, but you bit your lip instead as the logical part of your brain reminded you of the circumstances.

Hearing him come was probably the most erotic thing you had ever heard, the way he moaned and said your name only making you closer to your own orgasm.

“You’re a virgin, aren’t you?” His next words were said in between panting breaths, but that was what sent you over the edge. “Such a good girl, saving that pretty pussy just for me.”

You had never come with so much intensity before. The way it shook you from your head to the tip of your toes, mind going blank as white flashed behind your eyelids, your core pulsing with burning pleasure… it was better than anything you had ever achieved on your own. It left you feeling boneless but satisfied as you caught your breath, phone dropped on the pillow beside you.

You held it only to notice that the call had been disconnected, so you tried to listen to any sounds that could be coming from his bedroom. There were none, but you did hear steps as someone stopped in front of your door before your mother’s head peaked inside, the light from the hallway illuminating your room.

“Is everything okay? I heard a loud noise.”

You tried not to let embarrassment show on your face, glad for the dim light as you thanked for the fact that you were under the covers, pussy still pulsing from your orgasm. You weren’t usually this noisy when touching yourself.

“N-No, mom, I didn’t hear a thing,” you mumbled as you tried to control your breathing.

You sighed in relief when she wished you goodnight and finally left. What had you done? She had been so close to finding out, and you weren’t sure she wasn’t suspecting something. You heard her go into Gwinam’s room, no doubt to ask him the same thing. I didn’t hear a thing, you had told her.

I heard nothing because nothing happened, you repeated as you finally drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 2 ->

[jiminrings]

Hey bb! First of all, let me just tell u how much I love your writing! You're fabulous, love. Don't ever doubt yourself. Secondly, I wanted to know if u could do a college professor! Jungkook and pretty student reader where Jk is absolutely enamoured by her.. (also, with a bit of the good ol smut🤭) It's a-okay if u can't tho! Just know that you're appreciated!❤️

the probability of us

pairing: jungkook x y/n

wordcount: 6k

glimpse: jungkook’s the son of the university’s president, y/n’s cardigan is everyone’s favorite, and adjacent walls mean shared victories. 

notes: there’s something so warm about this request that it made me write it as an actual fic and not a bullet one!!! i did alter it a little bit but i was genuinely so happy writing this so thank you sO much for this babe :D // gif from pinterest!

Jungkook, in his better and most definitely unbiased judgement, thinks he knows enough about you.

He knows you well enough to have noticed your patterns and habits with almost everything in between. They were predictable for the most part, and that was partly because he takes pride in being observational, but you manage to unintentionally throw him a curveball every now and then that makes him smile.

You always come into class when there’s atleast fifteen people in it and Jungkook wonders if you know it in the back of your head or if you just sneak a peek at the room every now and then. He’s not keen on being early to classes, and on the three straight occasions his dad left something in the classroom from the day before and got him to retrieve it for him, you were already there.

You’re fixated and practically attached to your knitted cardigan, seemingly having no problem wearing the same outfit for days straight — something so both adorable and visibly heart-racing when it’s almost always a tank top underneath that’s on the lower scoop, and a rotation of pants and sweats that sometimes feel so misplaced with your cardigan that it matches.

Jungkook’s found out that you probably wear atleast three rings on a daily basis, and that only took him two days to figure out because you’d exit the classroom with slight marks and indentations on your cheeks or on your jaw. Whether it’s to being sleepy, being bored, or being focused is something he has yet to discern — but yeah, he looks at you with his eyes silently when the class is dismissed, wondering if he’d see the same Pandora tiara ring mark on your cheek, or this time from a signet ring you sported more often.

He’s eight weeks in doing whatever this is. Whatever having the definition of him trailing behind his dad, a back and forth between his classes and his office, then them eating out for lunch break.

Sometimes, Jungkook forgets that his dad’s the president of this very university. 

He’s only really known him as dad and he’s grateful for that, and the only times he’d see his father as the educator he was with the fancy doctorate degree was whenever Jungkook’s been a little lacking in his studies as a child up until high school. His mom, a doctor, would be on duty for nights and at home for mornings so that’d be the window she’d teach him the alphabet and addition with the carrying, something that eight-year old him would tear up just at the mention of.

His dad would just sit beside him in a very calm manor, take out two notebooks for one of them each, and make reviewers. Jungkook writes down what he knows and what his dad tells him to, highlights the key terms, and for some totally odd reason, making his own reviewers saved him from failing altogether and become an honor student with little help from his parents and most especially his dad.

It humors him that people are so rigid and intimidated by his dad, and he knows that not everyone would believe that this is the same guy that taught him how to give someone a proper wet willy. Jungkook sees people left and right going out of their way to greet him and pay their courtesies, stifling in a giggle that his dad also fights the need to laugh.

He loves and looks up to his dad, feeling a lot more thankful that he has a healthy relationship with his parents as an only child. Jungkook feels he owes that much to his dad that he took education for his college course, despite his blatant lack of interest for it.

And here he is — a senior at another college his dad’s not the professor of, studying a degree that he’s not gonna practice, and shadowing his father for eight weeks while he goes and teach for the “experience” as his dad calls it.

This has got to be a little ethically questionable, but that’s okay. Jungkook takes some comfort knowing that his dad’s the boss and he could just sit in a chair, pretending to absorb his lessons. In fact, he doesn’t even know why his dad opts to teach still even if he’s well high up in that ladder, the only explanation being that his father just really really likes teaching and not just be moving between airconditioned offices and meeting rooms all the time. And if that was enough, his dad just had to teach two classes to which Jungkook needs to accompany him in both — Statistics and English Literature.

Jungkook has a memory of stone that’s probably of the same kind the Code of Hammurabi was inscribed in (because he just swears his memory started way earlier than the age of four), because he practically knows everyone in each of his dad’s classes.

Eight weeks in. He’s only known that long.

But Jungkook knows for a fact that you’re never late — that much he knows. He refuses to believe that you’re actually gonna be late to class. 

His dad comes in early and normally, he sits by his chair just when he’s a minute away from starting class. For some odd push today, he felt the need to enter the room with his dad and be early for once; but for the one time that he did this, you weren’t around for it.

You’re late, and you’re never late, and you’re throwing him a curveball, but something tells him in his gut that this just wasn’t something you pull out of your cardigan sleeve to confuse him.

You’re confusing.

You’re never usually confusing.

He visibly straightens in his seat when you enter the room with a sense of complacency and without the need to rush, the class only in the quieting down stages before the lesson begins when you walked in.

Mr. Jeon’s flickered to the entrance briefly, his tinkering with the HDMI cord continuing nonetheless. “Kook,” he just barely manages to get out because he’s already standing up from his seat, nimble fingers grabbing a slip from his desk that makes his dad perplexed.

Jungkook walks all the way to you at the back of the class, holding out the late slip to you a little too eagerly as it seems, and you can’t help but feel confused and irritated at the same time with how you started your morning.

For starters, coffee was spilled on your cardigan from the night before, and soaking it overnight in a mix of detergent, softener, and the tiniest bit of bleach wasn’t enough to completely rub the stain off — which meant you had to get up extra early to have it dry-cleaned (the staff looked at you a bit weirdly) and head off to where you needed to be, in a rush.

“But I’m not late though.”

You murmur as you peer up at him, refusing to even take the slip in between Jungkook’s fingers. He turns impatient, even more-so at your retort that honestly sounded genuine, that he settles on dropping it down your desk.

“You are, Y/N.” He says as convictedly as he can, only having to glance sideways briefly to your nosy seatmate to keep him out of a conversation he clearly isn’t a part of, and you make a note in your head to apologize to Jimin who gets scared easily, especially by the president’s son.

As if to prove his point, Jungkook rolls the sleeve of his bomber jacket in the slightest, enough for you to see a glimpse of his flashy gold Rolex in an attempt to tell you the time, one you couldn’t decipher because it was analog and your eyesight’s not that quick-witted nor clear.

“It’s three minutes before the start of the class,” you make it a point to outstretch your forearm, one that isn’t covered by your cardigan as he now realizes, your silver and digital Casio telling him that it’s 9:57, indeed three minutes away from the start of his dad’s class.

He barely even blinks before he adjusts himself to stand between your stretched legs so he could hold your arm and adjust your goddamn watch to be set four minutes later, his movements done so quickly that you straighten your back to the seat.

Jimin pretends he’s looking away, but deep down you already know that he’s gonna ambush you with questions as soon as Jungkook leaves.

“See that? You’re late,” he hums contentedly, pushing the late slip towards you and stands by himself with his hands across his chest, all-knowing that he wouldn’t leave not until you comply with his stupid request for a late slip.

His dad sees the interaction unfold from a distance, still confused but somehow amused, and a curious smile appears on his face as he now has something else to bring up on the dinner table later.

After all, he only called out to his son to tell him that they should go pick up a few groceries over lunch break — not to give you a late slip.

Jungkook collects the piece of paper from you wordlessly, letting his hand linger for the briefest moment but you pay him no mind, too occupied to looking at your left and gesturing for Jimin to scoot closer.

Something’s wrong.

His instincts are not exactly the most accurate but after all, it does account for something. He’s not the best at reading people when they’re indifferent, and normally you’re never indifferent to him. 

He decides to lay low at that, sitting back on his chair and only twirling the slip in between his fingers and not once setting it down on the desk, preventing himself to look at it.

It’s only when his dad calls him to do a summary and explain to the class about his lesson’s breakdown, and he turns stern when he crushes the paper within his palm for the sake of being indiscreet that he totally wasn’t fiddling with paper for an hour and a half.

Jungkook returns and that’s when his dad starts giving out final reminders for their next meeting, straightening it out as much as he could until he can see your messy handwriting more than he could see the creases.

Tutored Hwang Hyunjin; state quizbee next week.

And why, exactly?

As far as he knows, Hyunjin’s the faculty’s favorite because he was such an intelligent student. He might be the favorite of his dad but he’s not entirely sure because his dad says he doesn’t like playing favorites, but he seems to think so nonetheless. If the guy who’s in the line-up for summa cum laude is asking help for a mere quizbee, what exactly is it for?

You’re an honor student, sure. In the dean’s list and in the running for cum laude, but you’ve said it yourself that you’re no Hyunjin and in verbatim, anyone who takes education as seriously as he does needs a hug and an emotional support system. Do you see yourself doing all the extra credits when you already have the highest average on all of them?

Did you hug him?

Jungkook scoffs to where his mind is running, a little dejected as he ponders on it even more as he stands next to his dad’s desk, nodding curtly at the students who bid him goodbye.

He’s extra quick to stepping up when it’s you who passes him, hands on his pocket as he asks under his breath.

“We cool?”

He tries to search for a hint of distaste in your face and he’s almost disappointed to find none, a genuine small smile on as you reply and come out the door without so much of a look back at him.

“‘Course we are, Mr. Jeon.”

... \ ( ♡ ) / ...

“What’s up with you?”

Jungkook utters the moment the door of your apartment swings open. It was straight to the point, really. No buttering up to you and no unnecessary bullshit before he drops the question that’s been plaguing his mind the whole day.

You had only been brushing your teeth when you hear a series of crisp and heavy knocks that led you to think that your neighbor Hoseok next-door has finally screwed up the pooch completely, and accidentally set his kitchen on fire with the cookie batter he’s been doing a series of trial and error with for a dozen times already.

Oh.

It’s only Jungkook, then.

He doesn’t look the slightest bit concerned being out in the hallway that gave everyone an opportunity to see him. Frankly, everyone who’s set foot to the president’s office, which is everyone, could tell who he is simply by looking at the few hundred picture frames Mr. Jeon has on his desk. 

He’s not concerned and he doesn’t have the gall to be concerned either, because as much as he knows that although underneath his dad’s section, the housing section of the college wasn’t under his close supervision. Besides that, he finds that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this.

Jungkook only looks up to you for a few seconds, wide-eyed with your toothbrush in your mouth, and decides to let himself in.

This being yours and Jungkook’s interactions for the past eight weeks. There’s not a label to it, but it goes along the lines of the occasional fuck, and then the ranting about each other’s days, and binge-watching that either ends up as hook-up, or trying to pick up new hobbies the other’s just suggested, or whatever’s playing is actually playing and the two of you just watch, your head laid on his lap and his hand brushing your hair.

Yeah, that one. Whatever that’s called — that’s what you and Jungkook are.

It’s been painfully obvious to your tight knit of friends, namely only being Jimin and Hoseok, that those things practically yielded to the commitment of him being something that starts with boy and ends with a friend, no spaces in between and all in one word.

You blink away your internal monologue, remembering that you need to spit before replying to his question that he’s asked you point-blank two seconds ago.

“You saw me in class today.”

That one couldn’t be anymore obvious and he huffs at that, once again going on a grumpy fit of frustration while he lies on your bed upright, arms across his chest. “Off,” you swat his leg immediately, making him haphazardly throw away his shoes if he want to keep being frustrated with you.

That’s the exact bit though. Regardless if you forced him to take off his shoes while he’s on your bed, he’d be frustrated at you regardless. He doesn’t know why he’s frustrated with you in the first place and that just makes him stressed even more.

The realization hits him that Jungkook doesn’t really know why he’s so pressed about you, his tone considerably softening because now he feels a little smaller under your curious gaze.

“Yeah, yeah. I clearly know that. I, uh, I meant outside of class.”

Normally, he’d find your avoidance of things actually endearing because you seemed to worm your way out of any situation you just deem to be unrelated to you — but for the first time, he doesn’t know if you’re avoiding his question. If this was still your passive-aggressiveness or genuineness showing its head right now.

“You’re starting to sound like a professor, y’know,” you note with intrigue, relishing to how Jungkook lying on your bed and looking at you under such intensity seems normal to you at this point and at this moment. “A professor hanging out with his student outside of class, in her dorm, and on a weekday.”

The comment you add was supposed to be humorous but you find it rather odd now having said it out loud, the realization dawning on you that whatever this is, is just too ambiguous and vague that you’d never wanted something so specific in your lifetime.

“Just trying to appease dad. Do I look like I have the patience to teach a class, better yet show up?”

That’d be the actual bane of him.

Don’t get him wrong, professors must be so cool and patient with their workload and stuff, but holy fucking shit does he hate it for himself. He means no disrespect to his dad but he honestly can’t see himself doing what he does, even for a fraction of his life willingly.

You sort of envy him for the upbringing he has and the wholesome and healthy relationship he has with his family that you wouldn’t mind telling people all about. Not everyone expects Jungkook to be as family-oriented as he looks, and the little nugget of information he made you privy too puts a gentle smile of your face.

“You do have the patience to ask me if I’m okay though.”

It’s a question between reeling yourself in and putting yourself out there more, plopping to sit on the edge of your bed as you try to put lotion on your legs all the way down to your heel.

Jungkook finds it normal to see you putting lotion on and zit cream on your face, and he doesn’t question it for one second.

That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s gonna address it though.

“Well, baby, are y’okay?” he crawls the short distance from you, putting half of his body weight as he slings himself on your shoulders from behind, lips brushing against your ear as he pulls you tighter.

“Mhmmm.”

He finds it that as much as he pulls you tighter, you grow a bit more distant. You’re there with him but your mind isn’t, perhaps lost on the lotion that only adds into your scent that seems engraved in his mind nowadays.

Jungkook does as much as to tug a sleeve of your shirt to expose the slightest bit of your shoulder blades, pressing wet gentle kisses that leaves you, surprisingly, unfazed.

You make no move nor action, just continuing on rubbing your arms with your hands and him taking the momentary act of silence to look around your room, seeing your textbooks piled neatly on your desk with your lamp on.

“Long night?” 

He asks and not a second later do you hum in confirmation, making him roll his eyes and his stomach churn, but it probably just has something to do with a heartburn that’s beginning to form because the ache’s spreading to his chest.

It’s got to be heartburn, right?

“Alright. Didn’t have to answer me too quick just so you can kick me out.”

He mutters underneath his breath a little hurt, taking your responses as his cue to leave. His flair for what you think is the dramatics makes you roll your eyes and slap his thigh, following him out on the way to the door.

Jungkook’s fazed because he doesn’t exactly know the essential purpose plus his expected outcome of this five-minute visit. He doesn’t have a clue, but dropping to your apartment unannounced and seeing you for just even five minutes, even if he doesn’t know why, doesn’t seem wrong.

What is wrong, is that you’d normally kiss him goodbye.

This time, you don’t.

... \ ( ♡ ) / ...

Jungkook’s gut tells him to come early to class, even telling his dad that he’d come down there by himself so he could scope out his class like the great son that he is, and he does exactly that.

Some of the early-birds are pleasantly surprised to see him there, early and alone without Dr. Jeon, sitting on his usual chair.

This setting’s odd for him and as much as he wants to leave, he doesn’t feel the need to. He doesn’t really care if he’s intimidating the students because after all, that’s not the reason why he’s here. In fact, he’s aware that he seems to be quite the talk of the campus, the verdict being half and half if he was as fun, easygoing, yet stern like his father — or if he’s something else entirely. Either way, none of them could catch on to the fact besides you that he’s not here out of passion, but rather obligation.

There’s less than thirty students in the room but Jungkook could just feel it at the back of his spine that you’re gonna walk through the door soon enough. You’ve got to be, right? Jungkook stands by himself near the door, practically barricading the door with how he’s built.

This familiar guy he can’t put a name to is walking through the door carelessly, eyes completely fixed on his phone that his shoulder’s barreling into Jungkook’s.

“Oh hey dude, what’s up?”

The guy in question barely even looks up for a second, a meek smile on his face before turning to his phone again and just staying there by the door, a character paused to block it all for a fucking text as what it seems.

Jungkook barely needs a second to look at him eye to eye; tall, pale, long blonde hair, and smooth pronounced features.

Hwang Hyunjin.

He’s only seen him in passing but never on this scale, his first instinct being straightening his back. They’re roughly the same height, Jungkook shoving his observation to the back of his head that Hyunjin’s only a millimeter higher than him.

He’s probably the only one applying pressure to this scenario, thick brows furrowing as he almost grimaces looking at the younger guy in front of him.

“Are you in this class?”

What?

Hyunjin’s confused to say the least, not only because this random dude he bumped into is suddenly making conversation with him, but because someone’s actually questioning about his presence here.

He lowers his phone, putting a pause to his heated exchange of which installment of this series they’re watching this, all in the favor for staring at this guy who’s cowling at him.

“... Yes?”

His answer even sounds unsure, Jungkook’s questioning raise of his brows prompting him to explain.

Hyunjin doesn’t even know why he feels compelled to explain but he does it nonetheless. “They say I could sit in this class. Some topics would show up in the quizbee next week.”

That’s just grand.

Before Jungkook can simmer in his irritation even more, his dad slips through the door by holding his shoulders in place, looking between the two of them briefly before walking to his desk.

“Kook? Thought you’d open up the lesson without me.”

Blondie tilts his gaze, eyes narrowing as he tries to scan a Kook in his brain’s directory and why it sounds so fond coming from Dr. Jeon.

“Mmmm, sorry dad.”

Jungkook emphasizes a little more than needed, turning to him and sending him a half-hearted grin while unbeknownst to him, Hyunjin pales and is having a breakdown and a half.

Did he really just accidentally bump into the college president’s son? Is he gonna be expelled now?

Jungkook’s oblivious to the inner turmoil that’s unfolding in the guy in front of him, crossing his arms before looking at his dad once more.

“Is he allowed here?” 

He questions sharply like a toddler who’s just seen an inconspicuous man by the swing, his cheeks rounding with his lips pursed.

His dad’s really confused because this is the most intrigue he’s seen Jungkook inhibit for the whole eight weeks.

Of course his dad knows; he’s more than aware that his son has literally no interest in being a professor, and honestly speaking, he’s not even mad at that. He’a outsmarted him on this one and just went along with the lengths of hi son trying to impress him, falling into this eight-week routine of them bonding together with little practice teaching, yet Jungkook still wonders where he got his wit from.

He looks back and forth between Jungkook and Hyunjin, perplexed because he’s pretty sure that the two of them don’t know each other and that doesn’t explain the tension lingering.

“Hyunjin? Yeah. President’s lister, right?”

Hyunjin grins and chuckles at that, bowing slightly as he just passes Jungkook that appalls the latter.

“You put me there, sir.”

Jungkook mocks him under his breath, not going unnoticed by his dad who just chuckles all the same. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing,” he lies right out of his teeth, sitting on his chair and spreading his legs until his dad nudges him to be atleast decent because he wants the students to focus on his presentation and not his son’s crotch.

He feels cursed having such clear vision because even when the lights are dim, Jungkook still finds his gaze looking for you out of habit. Cursed for seeing Hyunjin sit on the other side of you and suddenly he wishes that this would be the time that Jimin interferes.

He’s unsure if you’re making him confused or he’s confusing himself, but the way his head feels like splitting just by thinking about you and what he could’ve done wrong tells him that he should be definite.

“Would you mind wrapping up the lesson, Mr. Jeon?” his dad asks outloud and for any other context, they’d share identical smiles on how they should be professional towards each other (as suggested by his dad) during class.

“Not at all, Dr. Jeon.”

God, he’s so oblivious to see how he has everyone gravitating towards him that it’s actually endearing. You sitting all the way up gives you a front-row seat to see how everyone sits up a little straighter and how heads follow his every move.

Jungkook has everyone wrapped around his finger and he doesn’t even know — you’re everyone; he can’t know.

He steps up to the plate and the natural dominance and hold he has on everyone broke through, a lesson about statistics never being this intense and a large majority of the people would really stay for another hour and a half if it’s Jungkook who’s teaching.

He’s so absorbed into summarizing as a way of destressing that he ended up giving perhaps one of the best makeshift lectures ever, his dad positively awed and ending up even more confused.

Jungkook’s coming down from his lecture high, nervously fiddling with his fingers as his dad gives the final reminders. What doesn’t help is also you coming out of the classroom with Hyunjin in tow, wearing your cardigan, and that’s what considerably sets him off.

Suddenly, he now decides that your cardigan is the ugliest and most disgusting piece of clothing he’s ever seen in his life. It’s the furthest thing from adorable, and the nearest thing into being set on fire.

You still smell sweet and homey when you’re nearing him, and the realization that your cardigan’s tainted by the smell of you and soon enough, Hyunjin will — it hits Jungkook too hard that he mutters under his breath, his jaw lax from being clenched.

“If you have a problem with me, just tell me about it.” 

He can’t find the will in himself to care whether or not Hyunjin’s gone on without you and is waiting for you by the corridor, or that his dad’s arranging his shelf and could be possibly listening.

“I don’t,” your face reflects the same thing as your answer, devoid of any uncertainty that you have a problem with him.

“You don’t?” he prods further even if he knows that asking the second time wouldn’t even help.

“I don’t. Do you?” 

There’s no malice in your tone. It’s the same gentleness laced with mischief underneath, head tilting in question.

That’s when he narrows his eyes at you, always knowing how to play your cards right without him knowing.

“With you or with myself?”

You shrug carelessly, an automatic giggle tumbling out of your lips that it bothers you too because you shouldn’t be okay with pulling yourself away from Jungkook, and the fact that it could be because you made peace long enough that the two of you will never be more is something to blame.

“You tell me, Mr. Jeon.” 

He’s never hated his family name more and the formality preceding it than now. In reality, he’s just a year older than most of you in this class and the last time he’s checked, no one calls their senior, despite being from another university, like that.

Everyone assumed that he should be called with respect because after all, they’re probably looking at the future of this institution anyways. 

Stable breaths aren’t enough and Jungkook seems to despise the way your slightest change towards him affects him the most, and his pride over not reaching out to your first has long been gone since.

He figures that this is just your way of detaching from him because his eight weeks are almost up, and that he should be totally fine with it because after all it’s only been eight weeks.

He can’t see another eight weeks of you pulling out from him, and even worse, eight weeks without you.

“We’re not cool.”

Jungkook says as soon as you open your door, not waiting for you to gesture him to come in. In any other situation, he’d find you adorable having traded your contacts for glasses, and absolutely sexy if his blood’s rushing elsewhere besides his cheeks. There’s no introduction of asking about your day nor catching you off-guard with a kiss either. 

It’s him going straight to your bed and lying upright, looking at you somberly that you feel sorry you’ve been establishing this change in the first place.

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

His question is a complete 180 from his voice that’s been gravelly since morning, sincerity underneath the rough edges.

You shake your head no, a signal that there’s absolutely nothing wrong and you don’t have anything to tell him about.

“Are you sure?”

He looks at you with wide reassuring eyes just begging for anything, atleast something, the only time that he wishes there’s something wrong going on so he could chalk it up to that instead of facing this shift with you blindly and aimlessly. 

You’re wordlessly climbing up on bed too, making him automatically scoot over to his side of your bed when he stays overnight, instant warmth welcoming you just by having your shoulders touch with him. It’s a head nod of yes, I’m sure that there’s nothing wrong with your eyes closed. 

Being beside him is the equivalent of all the comfortable nights you’ve slept. Jungkook’s the ultimate compilation and the most expensive goodie box of warm hugs and warm tea that tasted familiar instead of incredibly earthy. He’s white noise and eight-hour loops of rainfall against your windows and humidifier-goodness of sleep that you take indulgence and warmth in.

Jungkook’s in another realm of thought when he almost snaps at you because your roles have been reversed and it’s him who’s doting over you.

“Are you usually this non-committal?”

You’re always warm with a cherry on top when you talk to Jungkook, and just only two days of you giving him timid replies has him asking you if you’re the opposite of the adjective that people most commonly attached to you.

“I think we both know best that I’m loyal.”

You are. 

It’s a word that’s almost always attached to your name. You’ve never really sustained a large group of close friends, and it wasn’t needed, but Jungkook finds it funny that you’re oblivious to how people look at you.

He’s well-acquainted with what goes around, and the only things that go around about you was that you’ve touched them in one way or another. You’re the most loyal friend Jimin has because you’ve stuck with him even if he’s spilled his guts on your bathroom floor, missing the mark of your toilet bowl. You gave up your bed for him and tucked him in even if he was still at risk of throwing up because he just couldn’t stop, and made him breakfast the next morning. You’ve only known each other for three days.

Hoseok considers you his most loyal neighbor slash friend ever, because you let him have a go at your pantry even if you knew at the back of your head that he’d screw up something in his recipe one way or another. Even started buying extra ingredients whenever he needs them, and him purposefully forgetting that he has brown sugar at the back of his cabinet.

You are loyal, and that’s what he sometimes hates about you too because it makes you more vulnerable. A little too easy to trample on. A little too easy to have you cheering for someone from the bleachers when they’re still on the bench.

Jungkook wonders if you’re loyal to him too, and if you were (which he’s sure of, and there’s no denying it), would you still be even if he feels like the two of you are growing apart?

“Then why do I feel that-“

He sighs in exasperation, head turning to face you and he’s greeted with your finger outstretched, digging in to where his dimple would appear.

He could look at you properly this time because he’s not in a rush asking if you’re okay. Eyes glazed looking up at him underneath your glasses, scrunched nose with the cutest smile and all that he wants this to never stop.

“Hey.”

You whisper in a rush all of a sudden, a toothy grin fading steadily when your thumb comes to rest on his cheek, whole hand soon pressed to it whole that Jungkook finds himself leaning.

“I’m in love with you.”

It comes out of you fluidly; no baited breath and no hesitation at all. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go, actually. Not once did you think that you’d ever tell Jungkook you love him in this way, or ever for that matter, but it’s something that materialized out of thin air.

It’s as quick as a passing thought and as stable as a core memory, reiterating what is only a truth instead of a confession.

There’s no sadness in your gaze and no distrust either, but the smile that stretches on your cheeks doesn’t look as giddy.

He’s a little cross-eyed with how close you are, but Jungkook audibly whimpers when you pull away suddenly and out of the bed altogether, picking up your laptop from your table.

You don’t know what you’re doing either, but you could only hope that it looks as natural as it seemed, wanting him to know that your sudden realization that you need to make a twenty-page essay in size 12 font has nothing to do with your profession of love.

“But I know I shouldn’t, and besides, it’s a conflict of interest. Anyway, let’s just end this here now and-...”

“Are you insane?”

Jungkook exclaims in punctuation marks and of deep urgency, looking at you as if you suggested the most ridiculous thing ever after what you’ve just said, which you exactly did.

“Just continue loving me!”

He says it as the most obvious thing ever, his chest feeling an odd sense of relief after having blown up with emotion. He’s a sponge at this point in whatever relationship the two of you have. He’ll take what you can give, but this was something Jungkook would run to hell and back for to not take from you.

“You didn’t even ask if I loved you back! And that’s my honest answer, not something that would appease you when you return the question.”

He looks a little softer around the edges at the moment — arms flailing around and hair bouncing as he keeps moving his head. 

His cheeks are puffed out when he’s angry and his lips are red from trying to get his point across strongly, stammering with what more he could think of in his head.

“It’s not a conflict of interest either! I only shadowed my dad to please him, but we both know that I don’t want to become a professor like him. You just think that it is because you’re up on the seats and I’m down on the podium!” he’s heated and his cheeks are warm and there’s no way it has something to do with your airconditioning.

“It’s a stint. It was a literal eight-week stint for free, because he’s the president for god’s sake — that’s it! I go back to my university in like what, a week? And they don’t even need me passing requirements, because they already know, again, that I’m the son of a university president! Honestly, it’d be stupid of them to.” 

Jungkook feels like he’s gonna pass out with how overwhelmed he is. Too overwhelmed to the point that he doesn’t see you smiling out of the corner of his eye, hand rubbing down the length of his nape to his back.

It’s only then that you realize that he’s rambling and his voice is wavering, concern dripping down from you instead of amused laughter.

“Y/N, please, it’s convenient — more than convenient. I graduate this year, and you next year. The last thing I’d do in my life is grade papers. You know what I want to be? I wanna be-...”

Jungkook’s cut off with a tender kiss on the corner of his mouth that’s grounded him, blinking twice to look at you.

He should really kiss you right now.

“You could’ve condensed that into a single simple sentence,” you snort when you pull away from Jungkook’s hold, sending him a look of faux disappointment to which he whines. “It’s called I love you too, Jungkook.”

He squints at your teasing but reasons just as quick, sneaking in his head underneath your shirt to escape from your teasing and importantly, press a gentle kiss to your chest, then your boobs, and settling to lie down on your stomach as he’s content.

“I was panicked!”

Jungkook’s certain that he loves you, laughing to himself when he heard heavy knocks against your bedroom wall that just conveniently happens to be adjacent to Hoseok’s.

“Fucking finally! I was about to flirt with either of you just so you could cut to the chase and admit it to each other!”

Your laugh is the sweetest thing he’s ever heard, coming out from hiding underneath your shirt and just laying on top of your clothed tummy, hand looking for yours to hold on to.

You’ve been sleepy the entire time, he’s figured. You having switched to your glasses meant you’ve already had your night shower, and only had three hours maximum before succumbing to your bed. You’ve had a long day clearly, and it’s when you’re starting to succumb into sleep right exactly where you are that Jungkook suddenly remembers.

“You know what I want to be? I wanna be-…”

“With you.”

“Mhmm?” you all but mumble, feeling him adjust your head on the pillow while he lays on his, literal weight being lifted off from you.

Jungkook feels even more endeared if that’s any more possible, the tiniest boop to your nose and the softest kiss on your forehead.

“I wanna be with you.”

[a-libra-writes]

Hello Libra, how are you? I wanted to know if you have any HCs for a modern Sandor and how a relationship with him would be in this scenario. I think that, despite the change in time period, there would still be some difficulty there, considering Gregor and the traumas Sandor carries because of him.

I love everything you write, your blog is definitely one of my favorites, you have a great understanding of the characters personalities and motivations.

Thank you! ❤❤❤

hi there! thanks for leaving such a nice message~~ im glad youre enjoying this silly place ive put together lol

Hmmm so, I can see the Clegane family being working class and have difficulty getting by. They started lowborn in ASOIAF, after all. Sandor's father was instructed with keeping the grounds of a country club or something, and like in the canon, he saved Tytos Lannister's life. In return, Tytos got him a much better paying job elsewhere, perhaps at his own estate.

Sandor still could've been abused and burned by Gregor, and CPS would've been brought in. His father waved it off as an accident, even though he knew better - which just ruined Sandor's faith in him. From a young age Gregor would be violent and get himself kicked out of any "nice" school their father tried to pay for. Then he got kicked out of the public schools. It's honestly amazing he graduated at all, and a lot of that was because of their father and the Lannisters paying the right people. Right away he began working as a bodyguard for them.

Sandor would've had an awful time growing up from the trauma of Gregor's abuse, his dad looking the other way, his mother leaving, his sister dying in an "accident" (or just leaving with their mom), the Lannisters being awful, and so on. I think he ran away a lot, but came back, unsure of where he'd go. If anyone even wanted him. I can see him spending a while on the streets as a teenager, getting into fights. Drinking at a very early age.

Once he's an adult, he also ends up bodyguarding for the Lannisters, even if he hates it. But he doesn't know where else to go or what to do, and has little self-worth.

I think that, even though it's modern times and medicine and facial reconstruction is better, Sandor resisted a lot of it. He's terrified of doctors now and hates hospitals. As an adult, he knows he can get surgery to make his life easier. I think he just wouldn't think he was worth it, even if his severe phobias weren't a problem...

He definitely lives on his own in a fairly crappy apartment. Technically the Lannisters pay well but he barely touches the money. He probably has an old shelter dog or two that he looks after. A motorcycle he likes working on. A few people on the street he recognizes and gives water and money. He'd be a lot more aware of his drinking problem but would still indulge in it when he's especially depressed, though the dogs help him a bit.

(tho if the Lannisters weren't involved, i can see the Cleganes being quite poor and both brothers going into military service... With sandor just hating it and leaving after 5 or so years. Then not knowing what to do with himself, and doing various odd jobs and getting into fucking trouble all the time. You get me.)

Sandor in ASOIAF is quite aggressive and violent, before eventually becoming depressed and defeated. I think for modern!AU, because he doesn't have the repeated trauma of having to kill people for the Lannisters and fight in battles, he just goes straight to the depression and self-loathing. There's still moments of anger (like when he's beating the shit out of a punk that tried to harass a dancer at his work) but it's not as nasty or sustained. Also this being a modern setting, he knows there are resources for getting mental health help, but ... like hell he's gonna do it.

So, relationship. Yeah. He's a mess, you can see it as soon as you meet him. It's a cliche, but someone whose genuinely compassionate and patient would help a lot. They could live in his apartment building, work at the shelter he drops donations off to (he totally makes excuses that he bought the toys/blanket/food for his dogs but they didnt like it... yeah ok...), a bartender or dancer who works at the same club he's a bouncer at, etc etc. Basically someone who can talk to him every other day and slowly get him to come out of his grumpy-ass, tired, depressed shell.

Friends with benefits is easy for him, because whatever, it's sex. It's the emotional connection that he struggles with. So befriending him, then slowly leading into a romantic relationship, will probably get him spooked and come with challenges. But once you're both on the same page and you're able to convince him that it's okay, he deserves happiness and you arent afraid of him, then some progress can be made. He benefits a lot from a stable person creating a simple, peaceful home with two dogs.

[watchmegetobsessed]

VALERIE - Part IX. (Harry Styles)

yall are gonna hate me for this but it needed to be done IM SORRY! also, i can’t believe valerie is ending this week, just one more part to go! can’twait to read your reactions and thoughts on this part, even though i know yall gonna be upset lmao

word count: 5.6k

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

Some days it truly feels like the universe has plotted against you to make every possible thing go wrong. As if it wants to see just how much you can take before breaking, experiment how long it can dance on your nerves before you end up one of those crazy people who shout at random strangers on the bus for no actual reason.

Starting the day you overslept awfully leaving you only ten minutes before you had to leave. In your hurry you ended up putting on socks that do not match and you were forced to buy a sandwich on your way as breakfast, but you promised you wouldn’t buy packed sandwiches for a reason, this one tasted like it’s been sitting on the shelf for weeks. Maybe it really has been. 

You made it to work successfully, but then you realized that you’ve left your notebook at home, the one that had quite a lot of important information you need for your work, so you spent your first hour at work emailing different people for things you should now, explaining that you just left your notebook at home. Some didn’t really give a fuck and just answered you normally, but others didn’t shy away from commenting that you should be more responsible and careful.

This alone gave just the perfect foundation for the day. It was all downhill from then. Your boss loaded twice as much work on you than usually, everything with close deadlines, throwing even more anxiety into the mix as if you didn’t have enough already. 

You met up with Marcus at lunch, but that didn’t go as planned either. It’s been getting more and more frustrating with him, the two of you have already had at least five fights this week and it’s only wednesday. It seems like even the smallest things push you over the edge these days and you easily pick a fight over anything. It didn’t happen differently this time either and by the time you got back to the office you were fuming. Worst part is that you always have a hard time ending a fight and tend to continue it through texts, the same thing happened today as well.

Now it’s a few minutes past five and you’re getting ready to go home, get changed and head to family dinner since today is Valerie’s first birthday, but even on the bus you’re still furiously typing away on your phone, sending a reply to Marcus, wanting nothing more than to throw the device right ot the window.

At one point you decide you’ve had enough. Turning your phone off you sink it into the depth of your bag and just try to focus on breathing, because even the smallest things seem to be hard tasks in such an upsetting state of mind. 

These past few weeks things have taken an absurdly wrong turn between you and Marcus and you don’t know what to do about the whole situation. Every night you go to bed thinking that you should just let go of him, would do a favor for the both of you, but then that stupid little voice in the back of your mind tells you that if you break up with Marcus it’s game over for you, you’ll spend the rest of your life alone. It all ends up with you violently holding onto the pieces of what’s left from your relationship and you’ve been trying to figure out where it went wrong, but you have absolutely no idea. 

After you changed into a pair of light washed jeans, a bright orange sweater and your black leather jacket it’s time for you to leave, though you already know you’ll be late. With a sigh deep you decided to turn your phone back on when you were sitting in the Uber, immediately deleting the notifications about the messages Marcus left you and going straight for the few ones from Rosa, your mom and Harry. They all arrived not too long ago asking when you’d be arriving, so you quickly typed your sorry and told them you’re on your way, you just got caught up at work. For Harry, you add something else too:

“Save me a seat and order me a tequila.”

His response came quickly.

“Done. Both.”

You let out a chuckle seeing his message. He knows you too well.

Walking into the small restaurant you don’t have a hard time spotting your family, three tables have been pushed together to make enough room in the back, taking up the small, kind of separated area of the place. Rosa smiles widely when she spots you, Valerie standing on her thighs, hands on the table as she is trying to snatch one of the glasses away, but her dad is pushing it further from her grasp.

“Sorry for being late,” you huff out and take the seat right next to Harry who watches you with a smile. “Well hello there, birthday girl! You’re so big now!” you babble at Valerie who giggles at you before her attention is averted once again.

You feel Harry’s elbow poking your side and turning to him you see him nod at the two shots on the table.

“Oh, fantastic. You’re drinking too?”

“No, I’m driving. Both for you.”

“If I didn’t have such a shitty day I would question what kind of alcoholic you think I am, but I kinda need both,” you sigh, taking the first one and downing it faster than ever. From the corner of your eyes you see your mother’s disapproving look, but you decide to ignore it for now.

“Wanna talk about it?” Harry asks, eyebrows furrowed in worry, but you shake your head, the alcohol still burning your throat.

“Not now. Can you give me a lift home tho?”

“Sure,” he nods, turning back to the conversation at the table. 

You somehow succeed in putting everything that happened today behind and just focus on the time spent with your family. It helps that seemingly Harry works hard all evening to tell you about random things, just occupying your thoughts as much as he can. It’s nice to relax a little and forget everything that’s been weighing down on your shoulders recently. 

“It’s so crazy she is one already,” you sigh when you and Harry are walking to his car.

“Right? It makes me feel incredibly old,” Harry huffs as he fishes his car keys out of his pocket.

“How old are you even?” you ask laughing, realizing you don’t even know how old he exactly is. There are quite a few things, small details you’ve just never gotten around to find out about Harry.

“I’m turning 27 in February. Wild, isn’t it?” he chuckles.

“Yeah, you’re basically a grandpa,” you tease him and he narrows his eyes at you, but you can’t miss the little smile hiding in the corners of his mouth. 

“That makes you a grandma, because you’re turning 25 in April, don’t you?”

“You know when my birthday is?” It takes you by surprise, you don’t remember ever telling him when your birthday is.

The two of you reach his car and he clears his throat unlocking it. Seems like he doesn’t really want to answer, but your burning gaze on him kind of forces him into it.

“Uh, I do. I wanted to meet up with Steven last year the day you had your birthday party, but he said he had plans already. Tried to lure him into cancelling, but he didn’t even want to share where he was going. Then he admitted that it was your birthday party, but you told him and Rosa not to even mention it to me so I don’t show up.”

Your stomach drops hearing his version of a story you’ve only known from your own point of view. You remember that you indeed told them not to tell Harry about it, but now it seems like such a hate crime, when in real life, it was still when the two of you hated each other with passion. 

“I’m… Harry I’m sorry. That was--”

“Don’t worry about it,” he smiles at you, starting the car. “We left it all behind, didn’t we?”

His smile seems genuine, but you still feel guilty for being such a bitch. It reminded you how much time and energy the two of you wasted for years hating each other when you could have been just like you are now. If only things happened in a different way…

Arriving at your building Harry parks the car and stops it. As the engine stops, the silence that’s been thickening the air just becomes even more obvious. He is waiting for you to say something about what’s gotten you so upset today, you know that, but you don’t feel like sitting around in his car.

“Want to come up for a little bit?” you ask and it’s a hidden message that you want to talk in the comfort of your own home. Luckily, Harry understands it right away and nodding he tells you to lead the way. 

You make some tea and the two of you sit on your couch, Harry is sitting sideways so he can see you while you bring your knees up to your chest, staring down at the mug in your hands.

“I had a fight with Marcus,” you quietly start.

“Oh.”

“And… it wasn’t the first time. We’ve been constantly fighting lately and I’m just… so tired of it.”

Saying it out loud for the first time, having someone listen to you brings you an odd sense of relief, and it doesn’t feel weird that you’re talking to Harry about all of it. He has proven himself to be a great listener.

“We’ve been fighting constantly, over the smallest things and my… my patience is running short, at this point.”

You’re talking slowly, carefully putting your thoughts into words, trying your best to interpret them for Harry after boiling them only in your own head for so long.

“I just… I have no idea what I should do.”

“It seems like the relationship is not making you happy anymore,” Harry softly speaks up and you have nothing to bring up against what he just said. “So why are you trying to continue it?”

You were expecting the question, you just knew he would ask it, but it still brings a painful, stinging sensation into your chest as you try to find the words to answer him. 

“Because…” you breath out and slowly turning your head, your eyes meet his gaze. “If I can’t make it work with him… then… who is it gonna be? There’s this voice in my head that keeps telling me, that he is literally my last choice, that if I mess this up it’s gonna be over for me.”

“Y/N, you know that’s not true,” Harry tells you tilting his head.

“Do I?” you chuckle bitterly, turning your gaze to the ceiling before you look back at him. “Because I don’t think I do. I’ve been literally feeling so miserable for weeks, yet I still can’t get me to move on, because I think I’m gonna die alone.”

“That’s not gonna happen, don’t say that. You’ll find the right person for you, you just… have to be patient.”

“But that’s the thing. I have lost my patience. I’m done, over it.” The tears form in your eyes in just a few seconds and the next thing you know is that you’re crying. “I’ve been trying so hard in my whole life, but somehow I always ended up… not being enough, or thrown away, stepped over, left behind. No matter what I did, I always ended up alone and I can’t help but notice a pattern in it. It has to be me, what else?”

“It’s not you, okay? You just had a few bad experiences.”

“Not a few,” you huff closing your eyes. “All of them are bad. I was… I was never enough for anyone and now that I found a guy that seemed to be just perfect… I’m ruining it.”

“I don’t think you’re ruining anything.”

“Then explain to me what’s happening, Harry!” you snap in despair and Harry stares back at you at a loss of words at first.

“Do you have feelings for him?” he then asks. You can’t answer right away and it tells him a lot.

“I… I’m not sure.”

“That sounded more like a no.”

“Okay, alright. No, I don’t. But… I could develop feelings eventually, couldn’t I?”

“That’s not how it works, Y/N. You can’t just torture yourself hoping that one day you wake up and you’ll be in love with him. It’s not gonna happen and you’re just wasting your time.”

“How do you know it’s not gonna happen? What makes you so sure of that I will not end up alone?”

Harry stays quiet, her green eyes are staring right into your soul and for a moment you forget about your misery. This man alone holds such a power over you, it’s starting to scare you.

“I know it, because… I know you. And I see you. You’re literally the funniest girl I know, so easy to talk with, you always know when to crack a joke and when you have to be serious. You have so much love for others, you care about your loved ones and you’re always there for your friends and family. You make it so easy for others to get comfortable around you and you make everyone feel safe around you.”

You listen to him intently, drinking up every word that leaves his lips. Harry looks down at his hands as he continues.

“And you’re beautiful. So fucking beautiful, it always baffles me when I see you.”

“What?” you breathe out.

“It’s the truth,” Harry chuckles lightly, he brushes his knuckles together nervously. “Every time you walk in, you just… make everyone turn their head at you, and I always wonder if you even notice that. The way you walk, your smile, your laugh, Y/N, you make every man go crazy about you.”

“You’re just saying that because you are trying to cheer me up,” you sniff, wiping a few more tears away from your eyes.

“I’m definitely not,” he chuckles and his eyes finally find yours. “I remember when we first met.”

“When you walked in on me changing,” you sigh, the memories living vividly in your mind.

“Yeah. I remember how… breathless I felt when I saw you standing there, your dress handing a little on your frame because of the zipper. I forgot my name for a moment. I offered to help with the zipper because I just… wanted to touch you in any kind of way. So I knew that you were real.”

“Harry…”

“I know this sounds made up, but I’m telling you, this is the truth. And I know I didn’t act like that for a long time, but I always thought that you were an amazing person and I know that any guy would be so lucky and incredibly happy to be with you. I hate the thought of you thinking otherwise of yourself, when you are literally such a delight and… just a gift to all of us. I don’t know what’s really been going on between you and Marcus, but if he can’t see your worth and can’t make you feel like you deserve… he is not worthy of your time.”

You feel your throat closing up, but you’re not sure Harry knows the reason behind it when the tears start rolling down your cheeks again. 

Because it might look like his words touched you and made you tear up, but in reality, a bittersweet feeling has taken completely over you. If this is how he thinks about you, why did he act like that when he had the chance to be with you? Why didn’t he want you to stay? What did you do that made him want to throw you out?

It’s a spiral straight down and you can’t stop yourself from falling. Harry has always been the biggest mystery of your life, and now you’re just even more sure it was something you did or said that made him want to run. 

He reaches out and easily scoops you into his arms and you let him hold you tight, face buried into his chest. You hold onto his shirt as the silent cries escape your lips. You want him to want you. You want him to mean all those things he just told you, but you just can’t seem to move on from the past even though you’ve agreed to forget about it. It keeps bugging you in the back of your mind that no matter what he says, you weren’t good enough to make him want to stay with you when he had the chance. 

***

It doesn’t get better after that night. Harry stayed until after midnight, made sure you got into bed and told you he’ll check in on you the next day. And so he did. 

You felt guilty for loading all of it on Harry, so you decided it was the last time you ever talked about Marcus or your love life in general with him. You easily made yourself believe that he didn’t really care about it and he just listened to you because he was trying to be nice. It seemed the best to just try and forget about it all. 

For a while you were contemplating breaking up with Marcus, but you didn’t have the strength to do it, telling yourself you have to give it another chance and some more patience. However it’s ending up to be quite draining, you gotta admit, but you are starting to get used to feeling numb every day.

Rosa invites you over, because she went through her closet and found some stuff she thought you’d like, so you head over not long after you get home from work. She mentioned that Harry would be over watching some kind of football game with Steven, so you are not surprised to see his car parking on their driveway.

“Hi guys!” you greet them when Rosa lets you in, the game is already on so they just wave in your way, intently watching the TV.

“Come on, I have everything in the bedroom,” Rosa nods in your way and you follow her upstairs. Valerie greets you with a loud shriek as you walk in, she is sitting in her crib, surrounded with a bunch of toys, seemingly having a great time.

“Hi there, Princess!” you coo at her, caressing her cheek before you sit on the edge of the bed that’s filled with piles of clothes. “What’s the big sorting?” you ask, grabbing a cardigan and taking a look at it.

“I just have way too much stuff, can’t fit new stuff into my wardrobe, so I needed to sort it all out.”

The two of you go through everything and just catch up while you try on what you like. At the end, you are just sitting on the bed playing with Valerie. You can tell there’s something Rosa wants to share, but she seems reserved about saying it out loud.

“So, the other day we were talking with Steven about how crazy it is that Val is over one year old,” she starts, eyes glued to the little girl, handing her another building block as Valerie works on… whatever it’s going to be when it's finished.

“Yeah, that’s what we talked about with Harry after her birthday dinner. Makes us feel old,” you chuckle.

“Exactly,” she sighs chuckling. “So then we talked about, maybe… having another kid sometime soon.”

You perk up and looking at Rosa you see the shy smile on her lips and you gasp, but she shakes her head.

“I’m not pregnant,” she assures you, but then adds: “Not yet.”

“Oh my God, so you’re trying for another baby?” you whisper, even though there’s no chance of the guys hearing the two of you. You can hear the sound of the TV up here, they have no clue what you’re talking about.

“I mean, it can take some time, so we thought we could… start now.”

“That’s fantastic!” you breathe out, truly happy for your sister. You just know Valerie will be such a good big sister. “Val, you want a baby sister or baby brother?” you ask her and she looks at you with a serious expression, holding out one of the blocks.

“Baba!” she exclaims.

“Yes, baba!” you chuckle. She’s been learning kind of real words lately and it won’t take too long before she’ll be bossing around everyone in the house.

When it’s getting late you pack the clothes you choose and head down to leave. The guys are still on the couch, but Harry’s head perks up when he hears your footsteps.

“You want me to give you a ride?”

“Um, I’m fine, don’t want to bother you while the game is on.”

“It’s ending in five. If you can wait a little it’s alright.”

“Okay,” you nod smiling so instead of going to the front door you stop in the kitchen to wait for Harry.

Rosa puts Valerie into her high chair and gets a banana for her while you check your phone just when Marcus calls you. Hesitantly, but you answer it.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Hi, just wanted to check in if the weekend is still on.”

“Uh, sure. It is.”

“Great. I’ll have to check again with my boss, but I think I’ll be able to pick you up.”

“Great. Talk to you later.”

“Bye, babe.”

The call ends and you find yourself facing a curious looking Rosa on the other side of the kitchen island.

“Marcus?” she asks and you nod. “How are things going?” You’ve only mentioned it to her that it’s been hard between the two of you, but you definitely didn’t go into details. Harry was the first and last person to hear the whole story.

“Um… neutral, I guess?”

“That doesn’t sound promising.”

“I know, but I’m just trying to figure it out. We are spending the weekend together, I hope it’ll help us to get a little more… settled? I guess, I don’t know,” you stammer, nervously fidgeting with your phone in your hands. 

“That’s nice, was it his idea?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s good to know that Marcus is making the right attempts to smooth things out.”

“Attempts?” Harry’s voice makes both of you look in his way as he stands at the door, seemingly confused about what he just heard. “You’re still with Marcus?”

“Harry, I…”

“No, don’t try to explain it. I thought I talked sense into you last time.” He is clearly pissed, not holding back how upset he is to get the news that you are still dating Marcus. But on the other hand you can also feel yourself getting angry how he tries to control your life.

“You did, but I never said I’ll break things off with him.”

“Well, it surely sounded like you made up your mind,” he huffs.

“Well, I didn’t,” you scoff, crossing your arms on your chest.

“What the fuck, Y/N! You can’t keep doing this to yourself!” he snaps gesturing in your way. “I thought we were over this!”

“We? What do you mean we?” you grimace and now you are raising your voice as well. “Harry, there’s no we! This is my relationship and it’s nice that you care, but you can’t tell me what to do!”

Harry is vivid. He needs everything in him not to burst right then and there and for a moment you think he’s gonna just explode. But when he speaks up again his voice is quiet, however you can feel all the anger and frustration behind it.

“Get in the car, we’re leaving.”

“What?”

“Get in the fucking car, Y/N!” he barks making you jump. Rosa and Steven, who arrived to the kitchen in the middle of this madness, are just watching the scene unfold, completely unable to even say a word.

Slowly, you slide off the stool and grabbing the bag filled with clothes you turn to Rosa.

“Thanks for… these,” you mumble before walking out, Harry following you right behind. 

Nothing is said as the two of you get into the car, Harry is clearly on the verge of anger outburst, but you’re pretty upset yourself. The drive back to your place is painfully quiet, but you can’t stop staring at his hands gripping the wheel. HIs fingers and knuckles are turning white from the way he is basically crushing the wheel in his hold. You wouldn’t be surprised if it had his grip’s imprint on it by the time you arrive to your building. 

“What the fuck, Y/N?” he snaps once the car is parked.

“Would you stop pretending like you have a saying in what I do?”

“I do have a saying in it! Because when you break again I’ll be the one picking you up from the ground!”

“Well, sorry it’s such an inconvenience to be my friend. But don’t worry, I won’t come to you again,” you snap back with a grimace and try to open the door, but it’s locked. “Let me out, Harry!”

“Fuck no, not until we talk about this,” he scoffs and it’s the last straw for you.

“There’s nothing to talk about! It’s none of your business, Harry! Stop pretending like you care!”

“I do care!” he shouts back so forcefully you are taken aback, sinking into your seat. “Of course I fucking care! How would I not?! I care about you so fucking much, how do you not see it?!”

At this point, you’re certain Harry has lost all self control and he is about to load he has been holding back out on you, while you’re just sitting there, staring at him completely speechless over how his whole being is filled with anger and fury.

“Stop fucking telling me that I don’t care when all I think about is you! Every damn day! I can’t fucking stop thinking about you, because every time my mind snaps right back to you when I’m trying to think about something else! Do you know how fucking painful it is?! See you fucking waste your time with that dickhead when I want to be with you?!”

Eyes widened you forget to even breathe as the words leave his lips and soon enough realization hits him hard about what he just said. His chest is violently waving, eyes staring straight ahead. Next time he speaks up the shouting is over, he is clearly shocked at his own behavior.

“Y/N, I-- what you told me last time, about ending up alone, that wasn’t the first time you told me all of that.”

“What?” you gasp.

“You broke down the same way at the wedding. Told me all about how you think you are just simply unlovable and will probably die alone.” His eyes snap down at his hands on his lap as he continues. “I was shocked how you’d ever think that way about yourself, because I was… I was already falling in love with you and I barely just met you that night. I couldn’t imagine what happened to you that made you believe that nonsense. I never felt like that with anyone else before and it was so fucking scary. Every time you looked at me or touched me, I could feel… the sparks. The fucking sparks, Y/N,” he lets out a bitter chuckle. “I never believed in that, but you made me feel that way. Then… one thing happened after the other and we were up in my room. I saw the way you looked at me, like I was your fucking everything and I have never experienced that. You fell asleep in my arms and I told myself that this is exactly how I want to spend the rest of my life.”

Tears roll down your cheeks as you listen in complete shock as Harry is still avoiding to look at you.

“I wanted to be the person who shows you how lovable and amazing you are, how worthy you are to be loved. Like I found my mission all of a sudden.”

“Then what the fuck happened in the morning?” you ask choking out the words. Harry finally turns to face you and you see his watery eyes. He was crying.

“You fell asleep and I was just watching you… and I realized that… sooner or later I would do something to hurt you. Because that’s what I always do and I didn’t want that. You didn’t deserve that, but I just knew I won’t be able to give you what you wanted and needed. And you told me all about how you just want to be loved and… I didn’t want to disappoint you in any way.”

He rubs his eyes turning back to look straight ahead and you see his lips tremble before he speaks up again. 

“I said all those stuff so you’d have a reason to hate me and you wouldn’t try to stay with me.”

“This is literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” you chuckle bitterly as the tears keep rolling down your cheeks. “Do you have any idea how fucking horrible I felt after that? I felt so ashamed for fucking weeks, Harry!”

“I-I know. I mean, I figured.”

“You made me feel unwanted and dirty, it took me so long to build my confidence back and be able to think of myself as more than just some used rug that was thrown out!”

Harry sits there in complete silence and just lets you load everything out on him, because he knows that’s what he deserves. He has tried to punish himself in so many different ways for what he did to you, but he knew he had to face you someday. Now the time has come and he is done trying to run away from the consequences of his actions in the past.

“I was blaming myself all this time, thinking that I must have done something wrong, when in reality it was you! It was fucking you!”

“I know, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean it to end like this.”

“You didn’t mean it to end like this?” you snap. “You literally continued to treat me like shit for years! If it wasn’t for Valerie, you’d still be a complete dick to me! And what was your intention with this now, huh? Why did you tell me all of this now?!”

“Because I couldn’t stop… seeing you be so unhappy with someone who clearly doesn’t deserve you in any way. I’m selfish and I realized that I made a mistake, but I now know what I should have done, because…” He finally turns to face you again, you see a tear roll down his cheek as he takes a deep breath before continuing. “I love you. I love you, Y/N, and I’m fucking done pretending like I don’t.”

You stare back at him, breath caught in your throat and it’s the breaking point. You reach over to his side and unlock the doors so you can open yours and you jump out of the car wanting to get as far away from him as possible. He can’t just throw all of this on you after everything the two of you went through, that’s not how it works. Does he even mean it? How are you supposed to believe him after years of hatred?

You try to get inside the building, but he is quick to catch up with you, he grabs your upper arm and pulls back, but you yank his hold away. 

“Where are you going?!” he snaps towering above you.

“Home. And don’t fucking touch me!”

“But I literally just told you I love you, you’re not gonna say anything about that?”

At first you plan on not even answering, you make your way towards the door, but then you change your mind. Turning around you unload on him once again.

“You don’t have the right to tell me you love me! Not after all the shit I took from you! How am I supposed to believe it when you literally made me feel like shit for all these years, saying the meanest stuff to me every damn time we met! I was avoiding you like the plague because I can’t even count how many times you made me cry calling me names and treating me so fucking horrible! No, you are not just gonna waltz in here, tell me that I have to break up with my boyfriend because you’ve been in love with me all along. I don’t fucking believe you, Harry. So stay the fuck away from me,” you tell him and push your way inside. This time he doesn’t follow.

By the time you reach your front you’re sobbing, barely seeing from your own tears. With shaking hands you unlock the door and get inside shutting the door behind you before you collapse on the floor. 

Harry lives in delusion if he thinks he can just unload all of this on you and make everything right magically. Not after more than three years of the shit you took from him. How are you supposed to believe that he is telling the truth? If he loved you all along, how could he treat you like that? That’s not what love should feel like. All those countless times when you came home after seeing him and you couldn’t help but cry after some of his meanest comments… and now he is trying to make you believe he did it all to protect you from him? Bullshit.

It doesn’t work like that and now he is gonna have to face the consequences of his actions. 

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