#the robin-will 'friendship' I want to see is Will as a reflection of Robin's younger self. still a little bit hopeful about love.

[the-lark-ascending69]

I don't want to see Robin being a good queer mentor to Will. I want her to be so broken inside that all the advice she gives is 1) clearly her projecting 2) sardonically pesimistic and 3) simply bad, terrible advice. I want to see her rambling about her own traumas and end by telling Will the world sucks, that everyone hates you, there's no happy endings and the best thing you can do is crawl into a hole in the earth and cry.

Will feels slightly intimidating watching this weird girl have a mental breakdown in front of him, so he just says "I think I'm gonna go ask Steve"

[starry-eyed-steve]

I wish S4 explored Nancy and her tendency to isolate. It feels weird to keep yourself apart from the only other people who know about the Upside Down, yet we know that she never hangs out with the others (excluding Jonathan) outside of world ending scenarios. I wish we saw that reflected in her interactions with the group; have her fumble interactions with the kids and have no idea how to approach Robin and Steve. Have her know how to plan but not where she stands with anyone anymore.

I don't think it is weird for Nancy not to hang out with the majority of the people who know about the Upside Down.

If you look at the group, we have 3 people her age. One is her ex she had a very messy breakup with, next we have her ex's bff who seemingly comes as a package deal with Steve and then we have her current boyfriend who also has negative emotions towards her ex. If I were Nancy I would also only hang out with my boyfriend.

And then we have Mike and his friends, which are younger than her and she doesn't share the same interests with them. I doubt she sees her younger brother and the party as mature enough to hang out or discuss problems with. Which is fine btw, I have a younger brother and never in a million years would I want to hang out with his friends. It's no secret that the Wheeler siblings aren't close and I'm fine with that tbh it seems like a realistic depiction of a sibling relationship, or at least I can relate to it so it seems realistic to me personally.

So there are no other people that she could hang out with. After s1, she had both Steve and Jonathan because there was no weird history between them, but after her breakup with Steve, she only had Jonathan. Both Nancy and Steve are barely friends, like they weren't friends before they dated, and after the relationship, both were hurt by the other person, which made staying in contact difficult. And idk if Nancy would love to hang out with Robin if she would bring Steve back into her life, when she showed no interest to be friends with him before s4. Nancy never went out of her way to get to know Robin because idk it seems messy to befriend your ex's bff.

But in general, I don't think Nancy only had Jonathan. She seems to be the kinda girl who can keep school friendships. Like she was fairly popular in the school paper. She had two off-screen friends that were mentioned in s2 who she was close enough to have sleepovers with, without Karen being surprised by it. So, to me, she can make surface-level friendships, but as soon as school is done, she won't contact them anymore.

I also think after her split with Steve and her getting together with Jonathan, her reputation greatly suffered. Like dumping the popular guy to get together with the school creep just looks bad. On top of that, Tommy and Carol would spread the nastiest rumors about her and Jonathan, like it was already teased a bit in s2. I would have liked to see the aftermath of it. What do her friends say? How does she feel about that? Does she develop an even stronger us against them mindset with Jonathan and thus isolate herself further?

But again the reason why she doesn't hang out with the people in the UD group is the messy history she has with her ex and in extension with her ex' bff who are together 24/7.

I agree with you. I would have loved to see Nancy struggling with finding her place within the teen group at least. That would mean to acknowledge the complicated feelings she has towards Steve and Robin and vice versa. But we don't have time and there are bigger things to worry about. But if she were the driving force to befriend Robin, the pay-off would have definitely been better than what we got. It would have ensured that Robin didn't act out of character, and it would give Nancy more depth and room to grow as a person.

I don't think she would fumble her interactions with the kids, like they hung out when she was younger and the kids like having her around in s3. I think if they would question her authority because she sees herself in charge, then I think there would be problems, but the kids mostly listen to everything she has to say. They admire and respect her, so really, I don't think the kids are the problem. And because she sees herself as the older sibling, she doesn't expect them to check up on her between seasons. She doesn't see them as her equal because they are younger and she wants to protect them, but that doesn't mean she would love spending time with them outside world ending scenarios. Only if she truly has to. She has her own life and interests.

[winterwolf0916]

𝗙𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗿

Jason Todd x Tamaran! Reader

Requested by anon: Hiya! I love your blog so much, and I just was wondering, if you're taking requests right now, could I request some Jason Todd x a Tamaranean reader? Like maybe she stowed away to earth when Kory made a trip to Tamaran and she's really cute and sweet and enthusiastic and fun and she had no family back home so Kory's like yeah alright you can be my sidekick and she has to get used to life on earth and meets Jason as Robin and they become friends to lovers to oh no he fuckin dead to lovers again?

Warning: Fluff, Angst, Language, Mentions of Death, Slow Burn & oh! did I mention fluff?

A/n: My heart... Also, I pray and hope you enjoy this one, love. This took me a while to finish but I got it done and I got carried away it. I wont lie, my writing isn’t the best but I hope this is something you what wanted or close to it.

Word Count: 3K 

Kori loves your company

You were like the little sister she never had

A better sister than Blackfire of course 

When she brought you to earth you were so amazed at everything

It looks so lively and green.

Flying around and feeling the cool waters from the ocean, the beautiful smell of the flowers and pines from the trees, and the shiny reflection on the buildings.

As Kori was going to take a visit to the cave to see Dick for a mission, she brought you along for an introduction.

He looked scary once you were brought inside.

“Kori! So nice to see you again. Oh, who’s this?” Dick glanced at your direction as you hid behind her like a scared kitten. 

“Ah, this is Y/n L/n. A Tamaranean like me.”

“Hello y/n. I’m Nightwing.” You were mostly afraid of the masks because you haven’t seen anyone like him with that sort. 

Dick noticed your fear then he took it off, causing you to relax a little, and shook your hand. “It’s so nice to have you on Earth.” You only nodded your head with a small smile. But there was a large slam of a door and stomping onto the stairs.

“Son of a bitch! Son a crusty no good bitch!” 

“Jason. We have guests.” This… ‘Jason’ took a glance at their direction before giving a frown. Once again, you hid your figure behind Kori’s, scared onto the boy

Dick apologized to the two of you and went off to lecture his younger brother. 

Kori only sighed and notified you that this was normal of him before Dick came back.

“Don’t worry about him, he’s just having another rough day with our dad. Jason please come greet them!” He rounded a corner with his mask on and his suit with an imprinted R. 

“Robin. Pleased to meet you.” He sounded so irritated that he wanted this introduction to be over with.

Still in uneasiness with the mask, Dick quickly nudged his younger brother urging him to take it off.

Jason didn’t. 

He just walked past you guys and left the cave on his motorbike.

Oh how much ass whopping he’s gonna get from Dick.

The second encounter happened at the Titans tower.

You finally learned how to control your powers and perform such combat ability that you never knew you could do.

Dick and Kori were like parents in the Tower.

You really loved the Titans

Raven may be dark but you both have such a strong friendship due to your trauma back in Tamaran and hers with her father

You suffered from a torturous experiment that left you with very similar yet slightly different powers than Kori. 

Also you both love books

Garth always makes you laugh. 

When training he turns into a gorilla to lift a good 3000 pounds while you could lift a good 70 tons making him go EEK!

He would make very disappointing puns but it always amuses you while everyone cringes at the dinner table.

Cyborg is like an older brother to you. 

You would sometimes help him with the mechanics and lift heavy parts around while he rants about his day and he would also cheer for you when you’re sparring

They were the closest friends while the rest of the members adore you and your sweet personality

But when Jason came along with Dick for a small mission for a few weeks, you immediately locked yourself in your room.

The Titans were concerned 

You were so marvelous and bubbly to all guests. Even to the infamous Batman!

Did the small bastard do something to make you like this?

Planning murder

But Dick and Kori knew why

After a lecture with the boy, Jason came by your dorm at night, still in uniform, knocking on your door, you didn’t open up, only listened from the inside

“I’m sorry.” It wasn’t sincere really. “I know we started off on the wrong foot, um…” his hand went through his hair in frustration that he needed to do this. “Since we're working together, we’re going to need to become trusting of one another….I’ll...see you tomorrow I guess.” That was awkward of him.

As footsteps faded down the hallway, you started to give a small smile.

You start to warm up to him.

But when he starts doing the little things, the two of you grew a bond. 

By little things, I mean correcting your moves when sparring, telling you stories of his previous missions, listening to you, exposing embarrassing stories about Dick, bringing you your favorite meals in a large amount because you’re a big eater, and lots of others.

When you first saw him without his mask, you were floating above him, pulling his face closer to yours while admiring the beautiful color of his eyes. 

“Your eyes are the most gorgeous color I’ve seen here on Earth.” 

Oh how your face fell when he had to leave. 

Don’t get me started with Jason, he began to be more hostile when sparring with others

There was a time when he took out his feelings on a sand bag while Garth and Cyborg were questioning what that bag ever did to him.

Of course the ‘parents’ took notice of this and Dick would purposely bring you to the cave or Jason to the tower.

The two of you have such a friendship that you would sometimes prank one another yet enjoy each other's silence.

Carnivals or nights out in the city were always a blast.

Whenever the two of you would see each other, you would fly to him in a swift manner that he would sometimes stumble back to regain balance from the impact. 

Soon, a single touch from him exchanging a book to you, caused you to feel such an electric current.

His smile and laughter made your heart paced faster than the speed of light

His cocky attitude and sweet side made your nine stomachs filled with butterflies.

You panicked and told Kori about it while she was sitting on her couch smiling as you explained.

“You like him y/n.” “Well of course! He’s my friend isn’t he?” “Oh dear, you’ll need to sit down for this.”

Wait, there is a different emotion called attraction?

AND IT DOESN’T STOP?

The more time you’ve spent with Jason, the more your ‘attraction’ feels stronger.

You would sometimes daydream the two of you blossoming into a relationship like Dick and Kori.

“Did you hear that Kori and Dick broke up again?” Raven stated before taking a sip of her tea. “What is this, ‘breaking up’ ?” you asked with curiosity yet wonder about this new term

When Raven sighed and gave details about it, you were 100x more terrified about the idea of a relationship

What if you and Jason will experience the same if you both ever become a couple?

You tried to distract the feeling of disheartenment with your enthusiasm

But of course, the feeling always returns

Your legs were pressed to your chest as you gaze at the ocean and it’s crystal shimmers of the moonlight, still in thought about your feelings. Jason found you on the rooftop of the tower since he figured something was wrong for the past week

As he questioned it, you asked, “Jason have you ever liked a girl that is a friend?” His foot on the edge of the building nearly slipped once you asked.

“I mean...yeah, there are times when I really liked her.” 

“Do you still have feelings for one?”

“Very.” 

“Really!? Who?” You were excited but felt such pain in your heart.

This boy choked onto her request. But he spoke, spoke about this ‘mystery’ girl. How adorable she is and brightening everyone’s day when it has been horrid, including his own. How he admires her caring behavior whenever someone was hurt. He really likes her and would like to take her out one day. 

“Her name is Y/n.” 

“What a wonderful name she has.”

“You do know I was talking about you, right?” 

“Yes yes, she does have- wait what?” 

Dreamy sigh

Ah yes

Young love

Kori wasn’t all surprised as she and Dick saw the two of you were walking in the streets of the city, hand in hand. She was delighted.

Dick was thrilled to see the two together yet gave Jason, the talk, if he ever does something stupid to you

The Titans congratulated the two and some exchanged money with one another after losing a bet

After a couple of months, Jason had to leave for a classified mission that’ll last a couple of weeks. 

As he said his goodbyes, you gave a kiss to his cheek before rushing back inside and leaving him smiling to himself.

It was lonely for the past couple of weeks but the worst part was when it turned to a few months.

Dick headed to Gotham four weeks after Jason left.

You were frightened about your boyfriend’s well being

As Dick returns to the tower, he doesn’t look the same.

You thought he was acting in such a behavior to surprise you that Jason is back.

“Y/n...we need to talk.”

 “Ok?” Kori gave a concerned glance at Dick’s direction, clearly unsure of how you’ll take the announcements. “What? Why are you both so silent? Please tell me.” You have had such a glowing smile, ready to hear it. The prank.

“Look, I know you and Jason are in a relationship but I have some...news.” 

“I’m listening.” Your foot tapped in excitement while Dick grew uneasy.

“Four...four weeks ago, we located Jason in an abandoned warehouse. He was held captive there for God knows how long by the Joker. And, as Bruce headed to rescue him…” you wanted to laugh at how far Dick was taking this. 

Except, he wasn’t pretending

“...He was too late. The warehouse exploded and my... Jason...passed away. I’m so sorry Y/n.” He added. You clapped your hands and giggled

“Amazing job! Brava! What an incredible and creative prank Dick. Very impressive. Now where is he so I can finally owe him a real kiss.”

The adults were silent. You took their silence as part of the prank and rushed to the bottom of the tower to find him.

But he wasn’t there. 

“Ok I checked the 50 floors below us but don’t worry, I bet he’s on the roof. He’s always there.” You returned to the room where Kori and Dick sat you in.

“This isn’t made up.” Raven and a few others entered the room, you could see it in their eyes they weren’t faking but you still denied it. “He passed away y/n.”

“No he didn't...He isn’t...Jason! You can come out now! Jason?” You flew to the roof. 

As you searched and it was empty that was when your stomach dropped. 

“Jason!” You flew around the area. The more you searched, the heavier your heart became. As you landed on the roof and heard the doors open, you glided to Dick. “Where is he?”

“I’m sorry.”

“No…no no... this is a game, right? When I check the floors again he’ll be there, right?... Dick?” He pulled your hand and placed something on your palm.

“He’s gone Y/n. I’m so...so sorry.” Glancing to the object placed on your palm, your entire being froze at the sight. 

From what you’re told, the R emblem is one of the only parts that are the easiest to clean and the least damaged on Jason’s suit after all of his missions.

What Dick gave you was the exact emblem but it was badly dented, burnt marks covered the R, scratch marks on the front and back while most of the edges are chipped.

Your legs gave weight as you fell to the floor, holding his badge close to your chest, and screamed your lungs out. Your vocals were so powerful that they made half of the windows on the Tower shatter. Tears made their way down from your cheeks to the floor as your eyes turned in a y/f/c glow. 

You flew off, for time alone to grieve it all. When Kori found you, you broke down even harder in her arms

You weren’t going to turn to revenge.

Even though you saw it in Dick and a few others, you couldn’t.

Kori taught you revenge isn’t the answer along with the new Robin or better known as Tim drake

You weren’t happy Jason was replaced but continued with your bright personality.

But during the nights, you felt so empty and numb. 

Why 

Out of all people, why did Jason leave you

Your family and friends died due to the violence of the leaders that experimented on you.

But now the person you loved most?

More pain was placed on your shoulders.

You grieved and mourned whenever you’re alone or with Kori. 

Two months later, you decided to explore the world on your own. 

Saving Earth, countries, and other planets from danger. 

Yet discovering the beauty onto nearly every destination

This continued for four years before you were called to Gotham for a meeting.

You greeted the Titans, other heroes you’ve met during your travels, and the bat family before the meeting starts

When it was over, you felt someone’s eyes on you.

As you located the orbs burning on your figure, you found a man with extreme built, a red helmet covering his entire head, a scarlet colored bat emblem imprinted on his black suit, and a coffee leather jacket.

You were confused as to why his eyes were wide and his body leaned forward as if he had found gold.

“Kori, why is he staring over here? Do I have something in my hair?” As your beloved best friend glanced at the man you were referring to, she let out a pearly smile.

“I think he likes you.” She snickered as you rolled your eyes. 

In the past, some of your friends tried to set you up with many men. Key word: tried. It’s not that you didn’t want to, it just didn’t feel right. You did try to fall for them but it just doesn’t last. 

“Very funny.”

“I’m not joking. He’s looking at you like, in slang terms, a ‘snack’.” You chuckled at her before returning your gaze to the mystery man. But the color of his helmet was not present to your sight, instead, the sight of an exit door closing.

You saw him once again during a mission on a tropical island.

Someone was making hybrids based on DNA from different heroes around the world.

So here you were… 

Approaching the scene as the infamous Red Hood was getting choked by a 9 foot tall creature before you scared it off with a blast of your powers.

“Need a hand, big boy?” You reached out your arm, waiting for him to take it. He was hesitant.

“...Sure.” He took it and you couldn’t help but feel slightly surprised of how tall he was

As you found Kori and gave her a hug, you joined the team till the mission finished.

You really loved being in the group. 

But mostly enjoyed the company of Red Hood.

There was something about him that made you smile warmly as he progressed with his idiotic plan

Kori and Roy offered for you to be an Outlaw and you gladly accepted

But the third member wasn’t all too happy about it.

The four of you all reserved an Overwater Bungalow resort on the island

A week later, you heard arguing from Kori’s home while you and Roy brought food.

“I don’t understand you, why won’t you tell her already?” Her voice muffled by the walls of the hut.

“She’s not ready.” His voice in the room as well

“Y/n has been far too ready to know who you really are.” You haven’t heard Kori this angry in ages and what did they mean about you knowing?

“You don’t understand.”

“Oh I understand plenty,” You and the red head’s eyes widen at her sass. “How long can you keep this act up? This, I want to hide this because I want to protect her, act? Your brother used that on me a few times, hmph, always knows when to make a woman angry.”

Brother? But the only brother you know she dated was-

“Don’t compare me to Dick, Kori.”

Oh...Shit…

Roy put two and two together and oh shit! He remembered his best friend mentioning a girl before his sudden death. Roy glanced at you as your eyes were wide and glossy at the truth. He kicked the door open causing the two heads to turn while you were hidden outside of the hut with your head down.

How could you not notice it before… Red Hood not revealing himself under the helmet when he was in legit trunks, constantly putting distance between the two of you, displeased when you joined the outlaws, and the worried glances between him and Kori!

“Got the food!” As Roy set the meals down and you entered the room, the air was so intense you could cut it with a knife.

“I’m not that hungry so I’m going to my room.” Kori glared at the helmet man, causing him to release a sigh.

“Do you-”

“Perfect! Now take these,” Roy gave a bag of two take outs to him and led the unresolved pair outside. “Have a good night.” He shut the door closed leaving you and the vigilante in silence.

“I can take the bag.”

“You sure?” 

“Yes.”

It was so awkward the walk back to your huts.

He tries to make the situation lighter but it was no use.

All of that pain you felt years ago, returned and after realizing who he is...It felt so much worse.

“Hey y/n, do you want to know the story of my first kiss?” What is he trying to do now?

“That's pretty sweet! Random but sweet! Go on.” He paused in place under a shadow of a hut as a thick cloud covered the sun. His hand traveled to the back of his helmet and a sudden click was heard before steam escaped from the open cracks of his mask. It was dark and you couldn’t see his full features.

“It was a normal day, I was carrying some groceries with my butler but got lost in the crowd due to my sleep deprivation. And the craziest thing happened when I was struggling to find him, a cute y/h/c girl with bright y/e/c eyes came up to me and spoke a language I’ve never heard in my life. So I tried to understand her words but I was so clueless before she pulled my face and gave me a smooch.” Your stomach did a flip as you realized why the story was so familiar to you. “She apologized when she was done but spoke english. As she left me there completely bamboozled… I wondered, ‘I don’t know what the hell that was about but will I see her again?’ then my butler found me.”

It's a memory. Your memory and his. You dropped the bag.

“Jason.” As the darkness unsheathed and the sun’s light was visible, he took a couple of steps towards you and gosh… You didn’t realize how much you missed him when your eyes began to sting, shoulders dropped, and your bottom lip shaking.

You took flight and bolted in his arms. 

“It’s you… it's really...you asshole.” you shoved him lightly while Jason expected the worst. “Asshole. Asshole. Asshole!” Every curse is a light punch on his chest. 

“Easy...Easy!” He held your two hands by the wrists. “When did you learn how to curse?!”

“When you were dead!” Your eyes were covered by your signature y/f/c glow and tears streamed down your face.

“Calm down.”

“Calm down? I may be an alien and I may be nice, but I have feelings too. Feelings when we shared that first kiss, held hands, waiting for you to come back...hearing that awful news about you…” Your arms dropped and your head lowered. “And I’m feeling angry at you right now for not saying anything!” 

In all honesty, he really wanted to tell you. But he didn’t know how you would take it. He's not the exactly the same when he was a teenager and he’s been through so much as Red Hood that he doesn’t want the bad guys to target you and your superhuman abilities. But his feelings for you didn’t shrink a single centimeter. It grew. Grew that he was so close to return to you and kiss you like there is no tomorrow. 

“Didn’t...Haven’t you felt the same of how I felt for you, Jason? Did you hate me that much to leave me and start a new life? To get away from me?” You questioned as the glow in your eyes dimmed down to your y/c/e orbs but your water works didn’t stop. You were still shaking, thinking of how Jason never loved you. How he made you feel pain for years. 

He made you feel like a human. Being an alien on Earth was quite lonely. But Kori was there with you through it all. But when Jason, a human, made you feel like you’re a human… You didn’t care about the negativity as much, you focused onto the positives. You discovered things about yourself from a different perspective. You learned how to love.

A warm embrace and the sun falling behind the horizon made your entire being warmer than the heat of the light beams. Your fingers trailed under his jacket to feel his body heat.

“Not even close.” He pulled a little before resting his forehead on yours. “It was the opposite and more. I just didn’t want you to see me in my dark life. I died and came back from the dead, every minute feeling empty. But once I learned more about myself, I wanted to change for the better. But I made so many rough decisions, that I couldn’t come back to you yet until I fixed them. I didn’t want you to love a mistake.”

“Shhh.” You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, running your fingers through his hair. “You’re never a mistake, only a good man who tried his best. The only thing that matters now, is that you’re here.” His teal orbs flickered to yours, your heart skipping a beat by the sight of your favorite colored eyes once again.

The sun was engulfed, the light dimmed till the sky was navy, and the stars were sprinkled all around the two silhouettes under the moon. The lock of your lips to his were the answer to your reunion.

[catxsnow]

W(H)INE T.D.

Summary: Tim learns that drinking wine leads to revealing secrets about you. 

Warning: Fluff, little-bitty angst, underage drinking 

A/N: I’d love to know what you guys think! I’ve written a few large fics before but never imagines and I wanna know if I’m actually decent at them lol

GIF is not mine

Word count: 3k

You knew that Tim loved you.

You knew that no matter how many times he forgot about your plans or didn't do the things you asked of him that he still loved you. No, he didn't forget, Tim had an excellent memory which had often times come in handy for yourself. It was the fact that his second life sometimes over took his life with you.

So, as much as you knew that Tim loved you, you also knew that he loved his job as Robin just a little bit more.

And you couldn't blame him. The moment that Tim found out that Bruce Wayne was Batman and wiggled his way into the life of a vigilante, you were right by his side. If Bruce wanted to adopt Tim, then he was going to have to take you in as well (though not legally). He seemed to enjoy your corny jokes and childish laugh.

You had become friends with Tim from an early age and hadn't left his side since. You were with him through the death of his mother and he was with you through the hardships of your own. Tim was never surprised to see you with a frown on your face after a fight with you parents. He knew that you had never gotten along with them and that they had the tendency to make your life miserable. So when he moved into the Wayne Manor, it was your little saving grace too.

Whenever nights were hard at home, you would show up to the manor, often times drenched in rain and tears streaming down your face. It was always Alfred that would answer the door and while you showered, he would ensure that the guest room you claimed as your own was ready for your night's sleep.

Tim would be waiting for you on your bed and the moment you laid eyes on him you would collapse into his always open arms. He had always been there for you and you appreciated him for that. Not to mention that you also realized that your feelings for him were more than just friendly.

It had been on and off for a little while. You and Tim were trying to decide if a relationship was right for the both of you or if you should just stick to friendship. After months of going back and forth, you finally had enough of the games and decided that you loved him, you needed him, and most importantly, you had him.

Dating Tim was the best thing that had happened to you. It gave you even more time away from your home and parents, and brought you closer to the Wayne family. The moment you started dating Tim, you would no longer sleep in the guest room, but rather his bed. Bruce and Alfred were both aware of this little switch even though you tried to keep it under wraps.

It started as only once or twice a week, and then the whole weekend, and the next thing you knew you had practically moved in with them. You were so close to being an adult and the lack of attention that your parents gave you meant that it was easy to spend your time there. Bruce didn't mind - but he did have a very serious, very awkward chat with the both of you.

The thing that Tim loved most about sharing a bed with you, was that every night that he went out as Robin, he knew that he had something to look forward to for coming home. He knew that he had someone worth fighting for to get home. You were the reason that no matter what trouble he got himself into, he would always find a way out of it.

However, some days, you felt as if Tim cared more about his vigilante status than your relationship status. You knew that this was important to him, you knew that saving people in Gotham was the greatest accomplishment of his, and you supported him through every step of the way.

It was why when you missed him, you would two mugs of whatever hot beverage you were feeling that night down to him in the cave and spend time with him while he worked. Sometimes, you would break into the wine cellar to pour the two of you a couple glasses of wine. Bruce said that you were too young to drink but Alfred always helped pick out a bottle so you kept doing it.

That night, it had been a long day for you and you could only assume Tim felt the same, so you had decided on wine rather than coffee. Tim was down in the cave and Bruce was working late at Wayne Enterprises. But, while you poured the two glasses, you were surprised to see Jason walk in.

"What are you doing here?" You asked, setting the bottle down. You didn't know Jason very well, but knew his story almost too well. Tim tried his best not to remind you of his brutal death and that could just as easily happen to him. You tried not to think about it, but knowing that Tim might not make it back home to you terrified you more than anything.

After Jason came back to life and settled in with Roy and Kori, he made very few appearances at the Manor. To be honest, you couldn't blame him. Being there had to have reminded him of what his life used to be like. He was a different person than he used to be, at least that was what Bruce would tell you and Tim.

"I need to talk to Bruce," Jason looked equally confused that you were drinking. As far as he was aware, you were underage, not that age ever stopped him when he was young. Jason glanced around, though the manor was huge, it didn't sound like anyone else was home. "Are you drinking? On a Thursday?"

"Yes," You answered simply, taking a sip of the gorgeous red alcohol. You slid the second glass over the counter to him, which he accepted. He wasn't much a wine drinker but he couldn't let someone younger than him drink without him. "Bruce isn't here, he's at the tower. Not that this is my home, but you're welcome to stay. I haven't seen you for a while, Jason."

Jason only nodded. When he first met you, he just assumed that you were some girl that was dragging on Tim's arm because of the money. He was wrong, very wrong. After learning that you had a similar childhood to his, he quickly realized that you were a fighter. Though he never took the time to talk to you, he assumed you couldn't be that bad.

After thinking for a moment, Jason sat on the stool across from you. You didn't think that he would stay, he was never one to waste time with conversations that he didn't deem necessary. But, you enjoyed his company. As much as Bruce detested how Jason handled situations, you didn’t find him too bad.

You asked him about his time with the Outlaws, to which he told you these grand stories of things he had gone through. You never agreed with his methods, but you understood why he felt the need to do them. Gotham was the kind of city that would break you in half if you didn't fight back.

He asked you how Tim was doing. You dived maybe a little too deep into your relationship with him and details that Jason didn't need to know about - and didn't ask for. But, he didn't seem to be bothered by it. As much as he wished that Tim wasn't Robin after what had happened to him, he was glad that you were there for him. Dick had Barbra, and Jason, well, he had no one to comfort him after hard nights out.

Nearly two bottles later, you were a little tipsy and had learned more about Jason than you had your entire life. He decided that it was time to get going and that talking to Bruce would have to be done another night. "If you ever need anything, don't be shy to call," Jason told you. Even though you were quite a few years younger than him, he found it easy to relate.

"You too, Jay," You told him. "Maybe stop by more often, I think Tim would like to see you more too." Jason made no promises and headed towards the door. He paused for a moment and looked back at you. 

“Tim’s lucky to have you. Keep him safe, yeah?” 

“Of course.” 

The moment you stood up from you chair, you felt a little bit dizzy and didn't realize you had drank so much. You shook the feeling off and carried the two glasses to the batcave.

Just as expected, Tim was still there, slaving over the computers. He heard you come in but didn't turn around from the screen. You set the two glasses down and wrapped your arms around him from behind. In the reflection of the screen, you could see the smile on his face. You pecked his cheek and then handed him the glass.

Tim still didn't turn away from the screen. He was far too engrossed into his research to give you the attention you so desired. So, you had taken the matter into your own hands. You set your own glass beside his and snaked under his arms so that you could completely wrap yourself around him while he sat in the chair.

You sat in his lap facing him with your legs dangling from the sides and your arms tightly snug around his waist. Without missing a beat, Tim straightened up so that you could snuggle into the crook of his neck. It wasn't the first time that you two sat like this and it surely wasn't going to be the last.

It was nearly twenty minutes that you stayed like that. Even in that cold cave, he always seemed to radiate heat and you were always there to soak it up. Tim loved when you were like this, just craving his touch and the utter need to be close to him even without talking to him.

When you looked up at him, the first thing he noticed were your flushed cheeks and glazy eyes. You had been drinking, not a lot, but enough that it made your face tinge pink. Tim didn't say anything but took a sip of his glass.

"Long night?" You asked.

"Better now that you're here," Tim admitted. He never said it, but he loved when you visited him while he worked. It made the time go by faster, even if most of the time you both worked in silence. "How many glasses have you had?"

"Jason stopped by," You answered. That in itself should have been sufficient enough for Tim to realize. Not to mention that Jason held his liquor way better than you, so while you were pretty tipsy he probably felt sober still. "I think he got me wine drunk so that he could talk about his feelings and assume I wouldn't blab to Bruce."

"What'd you guys talk about?" Tim asked.

"You," he raised an eyebrow. "About how much I love you, and the good things you do in this world and that no matter what I'm always going to be there for you even if sometimes I feel that you care about being Robin more than you care about me."

You didn't mean to say that. You kept your feelings hidden about him being Robin because you didn't want him to feel guilty for something that he was great at. You knew the moment the words left your mouth that it had taken him by surprise.

"(Y/N), you know that's not true," Tim set his glass down so that he could cup your face with both hands. You refused to meet his eye, worried about what he was going to say. "I'm Robin because I want to make this city a better place, I want to make if safe. Safe enough that one day we could have a family and not be worried about getting hurt."

You finally looked up into his eyes. They were filled with concern for you. "I love you, (Y/N). I have for a long time now and being Robin is never going to change that," Tim promised. He kissed your forehead, your nose, and finally your lips. "Why didn't you say this to me before?"

"Because I know you love this job, and I never wanted you to think that you had to choose it or me because that's not the case. I love that you're Robin and that you're brave enough to go fight that evil that lurks the streets. I just wonder sometimes that if I didn't practically live here if I would see you that often."

"I would make all the time in the world for you if that was what you wanted," Tim told you.

"You know that's not what I want," You answered him truthfully. You didn't want to take away this part of his life, never. "Just one normal night a week, even every two weeks is fine. Movies, pizza, wine, or whatever we're feeling for the night. I don't want to take away Robin from you, even if I could."

"That sounds perfect to me, my love," Tim kissed you once more. You guys had tried to maintain that once before but it didn't take long for the tradition to break and once a week turned into once a month, which gradually turned into a surprise maybe twice a year. This time was going to be different.

"Good, now come on," You dragged yourself away from him and instantly missed the warmth. "I'm already a bottle of wine in which means you need to catch up," you stuck your hand out for him to grab. He looked between you and the screen and nodded. Tim typed for a few seconds before grabbing your hand.

"You know Bruce doesn't like us drinking his wine," Tim reminded you as you walked hand in hand to the exit of the cave.

"It's not like he can't afford to replace them."

><

To no surprise, you woke up with a pounding headache. Once Tim agreed to leave the batcave, the two of you had drank for a long time after that. Besides the two bottle that you and Jason had gone through, you must have had another three, at least. Tim caught up and the two of you kept the liquor coming.

Tim was passed out beside you, he was stripped down to his boxers and splayed out with no blankets covering him. You on the other hand, only had his shirt to cover your body and all the blankets on the bed wrapped around you. He wasn't awake yet but you were sure that he was going to be in the same pain you were.

The small amount of light that shone through the blinds made you squint and if you could get up to close them the rest of the way, you would. Instead, you slowly tucked back away into the pillow and closed your eyes, hoping that the pain in your head would go away. It didn't.

You must have laid there for nearly and hour before you heard Tim groan. You rolled over to face him but he didn't say anything. You were right, the two of you had been the most hungover that you had been in your life. A wine hangover at that.  

It was rare, very rare, that either of you ever had more than just one or two drinks, never more than one or two whole bottles. So, this feeling that resided in your head, your stomach, you weren't used to and you sure as hell didn't like it either. Tim had to have been feeling the same way.

Neither of you were making it to school that day and you couldn't believe that you were willing to drink that much on a weekday. It wasn't like either of you to miss class - then again, one day of not going wasn't going to hurt.

"Tim?" you whined. He was awake, but didn't dare open his eyes. Tim let out a noise that you assumed meant that he was listening to you. "Let's not do that again." Once again, he only grunted to agree. Tim rolled towards you and you couldn't tell if it was to avoid the light or because he wanted to cuddle.

Either way, you didn't mind.

Your little amount of peace didn't last long when Bruce came knocking on your door. He saw all the empty bottle in the kitchen and had known that it must have been you too. Nearly six bottle between the two of you? There was no way that you drank all that much - which you hadn't. Jason helped too.

The two of you groaned at the noise and tried to block the sound out. Thankfully, Bruce left and didn't try again. Tim buried his head into your neck, leaving light kisses. If you weren't so hungover you would have enjoyed where that was going.

Not even ten minutes after Bruce left, he returned. This time he had barged right into the room - to which you weren't that shocked about. He did it quite often and you learned to never, ever, sleep without close on after the first mishap. Tim pulled the covers over top of both of your heads.

Bruce, on the other hand, was sitting on the desk chair, with none other than a glass of wine in his hand.

The moment that the pungent grape smell hit your nose, you knew that it was over. Your stomach started to turn and you swear that you nearly through up on the spot. Bruce knew exactly what he was doing and you knew that too. Without being able to control yourself, you leaned into the garbage can by Tim's bed and threw up.

"I told you not to drink my wine."

[paradoxicalpatton]

I’m Not In Love

Title: I’m Not in Love Summary: “He thinks about them owning a dog, a golden retriever to be exact. A girl, they’d call her Honey. The Captain would fight for a regular name such as Charlotte, but Pat would convince him that Honey is much more fitting. ‘It matches her fur!’ he’d say. The Captain would immediately give in. He thinks about what it would feel like to be the object of Pat's affections. To be completely and utterly enamoured by someone so full of love." The Captain and Pat's friendship is put on the line. Pairings: Patcap (The Captain/Pat) Content Warnings: Very mild period typical internalised homophobia Chapter: 2 Word Count: 1744 Read on: Archive of Our Own  Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

“I can’t believe we’ve just sat here for five hours and have done absolutely nothing.”

The setting sun cast a warm golden glow on the land as it began to slowly cross the horizon, the trees and bushes gently swaying to and fro, adding a soft, cool breeze to the scene. The lake had mirrored the sunset, the transition from sky to land now almost impossible to distinguish if it weren’t for small ripples from the wind delicately distorting the light over the water.

The once vivid greens and browns of the foliage among the ground and surrounding the lake had now been muted by the vibrant yellows and oranges that were now reflecting from the sun and onto the water, a deep rich blue quickly chasing away the final remnants of the day completely from the vast stretching sky above.

Pat and the Captain had been sitting by the lake since late that afternoon, having finally escaped from the chaos that is Button house. It was nice. Peaceful. For once they could relax without being interrupted by Julian with a story of some sex-capde he had been in followed by Fanny’s usual disgusted complaints, or by Thomas demanding that one of them tell Kitty to leave him alone while he comes up with the next great piece of literature.

Alison had come to realise just how much she depended on the two of them to keep the other ghosts in order, so she had organised an afternoon full of activities the ghosts would enjoy and participate in so Pat and the Captain could finally have some time to themselves.

Sitting underneath the large tree, Pat watched the grass move with the wind, longing to reach a hand out and run it across the ground so that he could feel it between his fingers. It made him think back to when he was alive. Carol had always complained about their front garden, how the weeds in the flower beds were overgrown and that the bushes were always untrimmed. He had always wanted to fix it for her, but he was usually preoccupied with his scout duties, and when he did find time to think about it he simply couldn’t come up with anything.

He owed it to his son Daley, however, when the young boy had asked him if they could plant flowers for his Mummy’s birthday, that way she didn’t have to throw them out after they died. So when Carol left to spend a week at her mothers before her birthday, Pat and Daley drove out to the garden store and bought everything they needed to fix it up for her.

Forget-me-nots, marigolds, daffodils, and pansies now filled the once weed-infested flower beds. The bushes had been trimmed, the trees cut, and the lawn mown. A small wooden bench had even been built and placed at the end of the garden. The smile on Daley’s face as him and his father admired their hard work from the bench was brighter than anything Pat had ever seen. They were so proud.

Pat wished he could smell the rich soil at this moment. Wished he could run his hands along the grass, listen to the sound of the fallen dead leaves crunch as he walked over them. He wished he could relive the feeling of pulling his son close to him in a tight hug after planting the final flower.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of crickets waking up for the evening, as the last remaining rays of sunlight dropped below the horizon.

----------

Not wanting to return to Button house just yet, Pat directed his gaze at the man next to him. The Captain had been leant against the tree since they had got there that afternoon, the two occasionally making small talk before the Captain closed his eyes in an attempt to have the most peaceful nap of his entire existence. He’d woken not long ago, just in time to watch the sun fall and the moon rise.

For a moment after he’d woken up, the Captain had almost forgotten he was dead. At that moment, there was nothing but him, Pat, and the ground they were sat on. The tranquil smile that graced Pat’s face was more than enough to set the Captain’s heart racing. He tried to imagine what it would’ve been like, had the two of them been alive at the same time where loving the same gender was legal.

They’d move to the countryside, he decided. They’d have a large backyard with a vegetable garden by the white picket fence, maybe an apple tree, maybe even a chicken or two. The Captain had always found the thought of fresh eggs in the morning very appealing, as well as the structure provided from owning and caring for the animals.

He thinks about them owning a dog, a golden retriever to be exact. A girl, they’d call her Honey. The Captain would fight for a regular name such as Charlotte, but Pat would convince him that Honey is much more fitting. ‘It matches her fur!’ he’d say. The Captain would immediately give in.

He thinks about what it would feel like to be the object of Pat's affections. To be completely and utterly enamoured by someone so full of love.

It’s wrong, thinking about Pat that way. Imagining the two of them living in domestic bliss, running away and starting their lives all over again together. The Captain isn’t entirely sure why it’s wrong though. He was there for Sam and Claire’s wedding, he knows it’s not illegal to love the same gender anymore. Maybe it’s because he hasn’t fully accepted it himself.

He was so used to hiding away his feelings, burying them deep inside of him so that no one would ever see. So that no one would ever know he was defective. If he didn’t get close to anybody, he couldn’t betray them if they ever found out the truth.

Maybe he thought it was wrong because he truly believed that Pat would never love someone like him. He was cold, a stickler for rules and order. Not to mention that Pat was married while he was alive, to a woman no less. It was clear the scoutmaster was as straight as a pole.

It wouldn’t do any good getting his hopes up. Instead, the Captain would ignore the longing inside of him, he didn’t want to ruin what was quite possibly his only friendship in the entire house.

“Yes, well we have Alison to thank for that. Maybe we could convince her to turn this into a monthly thing. I could do with some time away from that lot every now and then.”

The Captain turned his attention toward Pat as he replied, hoping the younger ghost would be in favour of the idea. With a small nod of agreeance, Pat stood up and offered a hand to the Captain to avoid the struggle of getting up. The two of them slowly made their way back to Button house, the sounds of the other ghosts getting increasingly louder the closer they got. Hoping to stay undetected by the others, Pat and the Captain quietly snuck into the room where Alison and the other ghosts were playing some type of game.

They had almost gotten away with it without anyone noticing until Fanny got insulted at something Julian had said and jumped up to storm away. Seeing the Captain and Pat at the back of the room, she immediately took her complaint to them, the two male ghosts now preparing themselves to be thrown back into the chaos with everyone beginning to talk at once.

Alison made an attempt to calm the other ghosts down and distract them once more but was unsuccessful. It wasn’t until Pat raised his voice that everyone finally quietened down, pointing a finger at Robin asking him to start.

“Where you two go? We all play game, you not here.”

Before either of them had a chance to respond, Julian cut in with a thought that sent the ghosts into disarray once more.

“Probably off somewhere doing the old ‘horizontal tango’ if you ask me.”

“Now listen here, man! I won’t take any of this bum rap from someone of the likes of you. I would never do anything of the sort, and especially not with a brown-noser such as Patrick!”

The room stilled. The sudden silence wasn’t because of the Captain’s outburst, however, instead, the other ghosts looked past him at the short scout leader.

Without saying a word, Pat turned around and walked out, making his way to the dilapidated fountain outside the front door. He wasn’t really sure why what the Captain said had upset him. It hurt, to be completely honest.

Sitting by the edge of the fountain, Pat traced the overgrown vines with his eyes and ignored the presence slowly approaching him from behind.

“Patrick, I’m terribly sorry our friendship was misconstrued in such a way, I understand how embarrassing it was.”

“Embarrassed? You really think I’m upset because Julian’s comment embarrassed me?”

“Of course. Is… is that not the reason you’re upset?”

“No! Julian always says inappropriate things, it was what you said that hurt me.”

The Captain’s hands tightened around his swagger stick as Pat spoke, something in the younger man's tone made him want to embrace the scout leader.

“I don’t understand how, I was simply disproving Julian’s abhorrent comment.”

“That’s how! He said something about us together in passing and you acted like it was the worst possible thing in the world! Am I really that revolting Captain?”

“You don’t know what you’re saying, Patrick!”

“Seriously? Can’t you see that I’m angry at you? I’m upset! And you... you don’t even care!”

“How dare you, of course I care! But you’re acting like a child, it’s time to grow up-”

Before he could finish his sentence, the Captain was shoved back, his feet tripping over one another causing him to fall to the ground. Looking up, Pat stood above him, the man’s face a mixture of regret and anger. The Captain watched as Pat turned around, his hands clenched by his sides.

“Cap, you’re a broken man, haunted by the choices you've made. I really thought we were becoming good friends. I’m sorry if I interpreted our relationship the wrong way.”

“Pat…”

“Don’t. Please, just don’t Cap. Sorry I pushed you.”

[galli-writes]

(Click here to read on Ao3!)

fandom: Teen Titans

pairing: BBRae

genre/warnings: AU - Canon Divergence; Implied/Referenced Abuse, Abusive Parents, Childhood Trauma, Graphic Depictions of Violence

additional tags: Angst, Family Issues, Friendship/Love, Protectiveness, Slow Burn, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions

summary:

There are a few things that Beast Boy knows for certain:

He’s 21….and a total lightweight. He’s a vegan (but not like…a pretentious vegan). He’s not going to be single forever.

And the Teen Titans are the only family he’ll ever need.

a/n: Hello! I am bad at updating. Please forgive my sins.

Chapter 6: The Invitation (words 5,129)

The TV buzzed in the background, images flashing against the rising sun. Beast Boy stared at the screen without really looking at it as he poured some orange juice into a glass at the kitchen counter. His hand shook ever so slightly as he took a sip, and he tried to convince himself it was purely from a lack of sleep. But he knew that was only part of the problem at best. As he looked around the room, he locked eyes with the eerie monkey statue, still on display, and put his glass down with a hard swallow.

Beast Boy never brought up Galtry. Raven hadn’t mentioned him either, though that was probably less intentional. Even so, with each day that passed, his conviction only grew stronger. It had to have been Galtry. It just made sense. Didn’t it?

Beast Boy set his glass back down on the counter--and it was a good thing too, because if he had still been holding onto it when the doorbell rang, it definitely would have shattered on the floor.

Everything in the room went still for a moment. At the other end of the counter, Robin suddenly looked up from his phone, finishing off a bite of french toast. Cyborg had turned away from the TV, looking toward the door and then down at a screen on his arm in mild confusion.

“Uh...Well damn.”

“What is it?” Robin asked, already starting to get up to answer the door.

“I’m looking at the cam now,” Cyborg continued. “Whoever that was, they sure left in a hell of a hurry.”

Beast Boy tried to turn his attention to the TV again, and was able to do so with some effort. Above him, men and women wearing either red or blue aprons dashed around a kitchen at full speed. Pumpkins and fall leaves decorated the scene. A smiling scarecrow was pegged in the corner next to one woman’s prep station. At that moment, the host was asking a contestant about her pumpkin spice cinnamon rolls, which were already in the oven. It wasn’t the most creative approach to the challenge, but it was only the first round. So playing it safe was still acceptable.

Then the screen cut to commercial. Beast Boy looked back down at the counter, suddenly shoved back into reality. A reality that became all the more treacherous when he heard Robin returning--and heading his direction.

“Who was it?” Cyborg asked casually, turning back to the TV.

“I’m...not sure,” Robin said slowly. “But they left this. Beast Boy--”

“Huh?” Beast Boy nearly jumped, feeling Robin next to him now.

“It’s...for you.”

“Me? ”

Robin handed him a small card, which he took willingly despite himself. His name was unmistakably clear on the front flap. Well, not his name, but the name of someone he knew was supposed to be him. Galtry’s name wasn’t present, but it was clearly his handwriting--an elegant cursive Beast Boy had regrettably memorized by now. Even so, he had to squint to make out the words on the front of the card. He flipped it over. In slightly more legible text, there was a time and address. The lack of a date could only imply today.

“Any idea what it is?” Robin asked.

Beast Boy knew his curiosity was well warranted, but he froze under Robin’s expectant gaze.

“I mean....it kinda looks like an invitation or something,” Beast Boy said, trying to avoid eye contact. “But I’m not sure how we’re supposed to RSVP.” He managed a small, unconvincing laugh.

“Do you know who it’s from?” Robin continued, in the same awfully unassuming tone.

“No.” Beast Boy shrugged, pocketing the card. “I don’t.”

And that wasn’t technically a lie.

***

The forecast for the night showed more rain—this time enough to warrant a flood watch. Residents of certain parts of the city were advised to stay inside and avoid driving altogether.  Unfortunately, this didn’t apply to the restaurant they were to meet Galtry at. Of course it had been decided that Beast Boy wouldn’t be going alone, and for that he was grateful. In truth, he didn’t really want to go at all. But given the circumstances, Robin had decided the matter was ‘probably worth looking into.’ And Beast Boy knew better than to disagree.

In his room, Beast Boy knelt before a pile of clothes, rummaging through them without a clear goal. He didn’t know what he was going to wear--what he was supposed to wear for something like this. Probably something pretty nice if he was going off of Galtry’s handwriting alone.

Eventually, he came to the decision that the clothes on the floor were too wrinkled anyway. And when he couldn’t find anything reasonable in the closet, he turned to the dresser in desperation. He barely kept any clothes in there, but there had to be something . He yanked open the bottom drawer with some effort, finding nothing but a collection of mismatched socks, useless knick knacks--and a picture frame he’d intended to keep buried.

The picture was of course the same as it had been the last time he’d seen it. His own dark, disheveled hair contrasting with his mother’s blond waves. His father’s tight smile and focused gaze. When he was younger, people had always told him he ‘had his father’s eyes’. So dark they were nearly black. Beast Boy caught a flash of his reflection in the glass frame. His eyes were still quite dark, but in the light they betrayed a subtle green glint.

He frowned. With a new sense of purpose, Beast Boy got up, the frame tight in his grip as he turned his back on the mess surrounding him.

In the common room, he quickly found a small box of trinkets with ample space to house the frame. Using some discarded bubble wrap, he neatly repacked the picture, tucking it away next to some old books. Beast Boy glanced around the room, searching for something he could use to seal the box up for good. With a few carelessly ripped off pieces of packing tape, he folded the box shut and shoved it back with the rest of them.

And immediately afterward, a stream of guilt flooded over him.

One curse at a time, he ripped off more and more tape to finish off the rest of the packages before he changed his mind. With some effort, he pushed them into a neat pile at one end of the room. He would have to ask Dr. Galtry—whoever he was—to come have them picked up as soon as possible.

“What’re you doing?”

Beast Boy jumped slightly, taken off guard by the sound of someone’s voice. He took a breath to steady himself and turned around.

It was only Raven.

“Oh, uh, nothing,” he said, scrambling to his feet. “Just...cleaning.”

Raven simply raised an eyebrow in uninterested disbelief. She was standing next to the fridge with a can of ginger ale in one hand and a hefty book in the other. Neither of those things were particularly remarkable for Raven.

But what was strange was the way she was dressed. Opposed to her usual baggy sweaters and leggings, she was wearing jeans and a cardigan over a blouse he’d never seen before. It even looked like she might be wearing makeup. Real makeup that had clearly taken more effort than her everyday eyeliner.

“So I guess you heard about dinner tonight, right?” he asked only now realizing he was staring.  

“Yeah. Sucks for you guys,” Raven said plainly, taking a sip of her soda.

“What do you mean?” Beast Boy said, genuinely puzzled for a moment. “You ’re not coming with us?”

“I have...plans.”  

Beast Boy eyed the book in her hand. “Sitting in your room reading doesn’t count as plans.”

“ Real plans,” she said defiantly, tossing the now empty can in the recycling.

“Well you’ll have to reschedule,” another voice said suddenly, short and stern.

Beast Boy and Raven both turned around to find the rest of their friends approaching from the nearest hallway, Robin at the lead.

“I can’t,” Raven replied, her tone just as sharp and uncompromising.

But Robin didn’t budge. “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said, arms crossed against his chest. “But this is official Titans business, and you know what takes precedence. That’s all I’m gonna say about it.”

Raven frowned, but she didn’t put her book down. She merely stuffed it into her purse, which was much too small to properly contain it.

“Uh...car’s all ready out back,” Cyborg said, gesturing to the garage with some hesitation.

Raven sulked past them without a word, not even bothering to try and call shotgun.

The drive was awkward and uncomfortable. At least for Beast Boy.

At some point he realized Starfire was talking to him about the latest Netflix series she’d been binging. It was a clear effort to distract from the all consuming depressive aura of the back row. Beast Boy nodded at the appropriate moments, but couldn’t even remember the name of the show two minutes into the conversation.  

Raven didn’t look up from her book once during the entire trip. But it was obvious she was only pretending. Beast Boy couldn’t help but notice that she never once turned the page--and Raven was a fast reader. He didn’t mean to notice the slip of paper tucked between the pages--didn’t mean to see what was scribbled on it. The messy, half-cursive script was almost illegible, but it was clearly a reminder of some sort. A date, a place, a time--the last of which was circled aggressively in dark ink.  Beast Boy made a conscious effort to try and stare straight ahead. He didn’t want to be caught staring again. But of course, it was hard not to notice things like that when you were sitting right next to someone.

What plans did Raven have? ...Not that it mattered to him, of course. Whatever Raven did in her free time wasn’t any of his business, really. Even still, it was hard not to wonder what could be important enough to pull the world’s biggest introvert out of her room. In an actual put-together outfit no less. Then, for a brief moment, a disarming thought flitted through his mind. Hypothetically, in a world where Raven actually dated people, it would probably be safe to assume that she would never tell any of them about it. And why should she? But more importantly why should any of them care ? He didn’t.

Of course, the thought was utter nonsense to begin with. Raven had always made it abundantly clear that she had no interest in being in a relationship. Unless of course she’s been lying.  

Beast Boy began to feel a pit forming in his stomach for the millionth time that week. Just letting his mind wander as far as it had made him feel guilty--like he was prying into things that were none of his business. He tried to shift his train of thought to something-- anything --else beyond the uncomfortable terrain he’d stumbled into. And he didn’t know why it was so uncomfortable. Maybe it was because now he couldn’t stop thinking about the state of his own love life. At least Raven had the angsty brooding down pat. Any time he felt bad for himself--which was a little too often for his liking--he imagined he looked less like the lead singer of a pop punk band and more like a toddler who’d spilled their cheerios in the backseat of mom’s minivan. Right now he would have leaned up against the window and stared into the coming downpour like someone in an early 2000s music video...had he not been stuck in the middle seat again.

As they drove, Robin talked briefly of a ‘plan’ he’d been constructing in the event that things went south. Starfire and Cyborg seemed engaged enough, hyping themselves up for what they’d decided was going to either be a five star meal or an equally satisfying smackdown. But Beast Boy couldn’t find it in him to join them. Outside, the rain was picking up fast. The gray clouds above had brought on the night of their own accord, and even the thousands of city lights couldn’t entirely pierce through the darkness. Beast Boy slunk down further in his seat, sticking his hands deep in his pockets. In doing so, he realized abruptly that he had never actually changed clothes, and a familiar card was still tucked away in his pocket. Unfortunately, no amount of fiddling would make it disappear.

It was easy to recognize when they’d arrived at their destination. The traffic came to a complete stop, as cars—and even a limo or two—fought for a spot on the narrow strip of asphalt in front of the shimmering building before them. People poured out of the vehicles like liquid gold, as men in suits and women with designer handbags scrambled for the attention of the underpaid valet workers.

“Well this looks like...fun,” Cyborg said, hands gripping the wheel tighter, despite the utter standstill.

“I think we might be a little under dressed,” Robin said, peeking out the window and then down at his jeans and flannel. He sounded much less like a boy about to embarrass his family at the yacht club and much more like a detective who was going to blow his cover.

“Well I guess it’s too late for that now,” Cyborg said, automatically pulling up in line next to a man dressed in valet attire weilding a crisp black umbrella.

“Good evening, sir. May I have the name of your party?”

“Uh...” Cyborg hesitated.

Without thinking, Beast Boy reached for the card in his pocket. In a matter of seconds it had acquired some impressively deep folds and a slight tear in one corner, but it was still easily readable and recognizable. He leaned forward and silently passed it to the man like he’d been rehearsing the action for months.

The man’s eyes widened instantly. “Oh, of course. Dr. Galtry has been expecting you.”

A brief moment of silence hung in the air between them as Cyborg continued to grip the wheel.

Beast Boy stared straight ahead. The tension was palpable. For everyone else, the sound of Galtry’s name must have conjured some form of excitement. Good or bad. Some sense of progress in unearthing a mystery. For Beast Boy it only stirred up the guilt surrounding how much he’d withheld.

“If you would—“ the man said, clearing his throat slightly. He nodded toward the driver’s seat as he spoke. “I would be happy to take care of your vehicle.”

“I...uh,” Cyborg hesitated again, his hands gripping the steering wheel even tighter.

“That would be great, thanks,” Robin interjected from the other side. Cyborg shot him a quick look of doubt, but it was quickly followed by a sigh of resignation as he let go of the wheel.

From the safety of the covered curb, Beast Boy watched with his friends as the man stepped into the driver’s seat and fumbled for a moment with the controls.

“Be safe, baby,” Cyborg half whispered as the car disappeared into the fray. And despite all of the nerves clouding his mind, Beast Boy couldn’t help holding back a smile, patting his friend on the shoulder in consolation.

The inside of the restaurant was just as extravagant as the exterior suggested, even more so as the former had certainly been dulled by the weather. Immediately upon entering through the crystal double doors, Beast Boy found himself brushing shoulders with men and women who looked like attendees of a red carpet after party. The entire building—which was completely packed beyond any sense of personal space—was littered with dark wooden tables, velvet curtains, and chandeliers. Light bounced around the room off silver plates and platters carried around by elegantly dressed waitstaff. Even from the distance of the foyer, the scene was simultaneously beautiful and nauseating.

“The party for Dr. Galtry?” A young woman’s voice rang out from behind a tall podium in the corner of the entryway. “We have you in our private dining--” the woman started, pausing as she looked up to meet the group before her. Her eyes grew wide and a clearly unscripted smile came across her face. She had to be in her late teens or early twenties--and was one of the youngest people in the room.

“Sorry,” she said, the smile still on her face. Her brilliant emerald jewelry sparkled as she began to move. “Um...If you’ll just follow me right this way.”

Weaving through the tables turned out to be even more dizzying than just looking at them. And with every step, Beast Boy felt more and more like he was walking straight back into the cave of a hungry beast hoarding its jewels. When they finally came to a halt, it was in front of a large wooden door at the back end of the restaurant. Like the den of a sleeping dragon, this area of the restaurant boasted an even greater number of precious gems and wrinkle lines.

“Dr. Galtry will be waiting for you all inside,” the young woman said, nodding her head slightly.

An awkward beat of silence passed as she continued to stand there without turning to leave, her eyes darting down to her feet.

“Sorry, I know this is like, super unprofessional, and I know you guys are busy, but I was just wondering...if I could maybe get an autograph?” she said quietly, the words spilling out a million miles an hour. She was looking up now, and despite referring to the entire group, it was clear her attention rested on Starfire.

“Certainly!” Starfire smiled.

As if by magic, a small receipt notepad and chewed up pen had already appeared in the young woman’s hands.

“I love your bracelet by the way,” Starfire beamed, taking the pad of paper and beginning to doodle on it.

“Oh, this?” the girl laughed nervously. “Thanks. I mean, it’s nothing really.”

Starfire handed the paper back with a smile, the pad now feverishly adorned with hearts and stars surrounding her signature.

The young woman seemed to be beside herself with joy. She managed another clumsy string of thank yous before disappearing into the crowd again.

There was another long silence.

“I hate it here,” Raven said abruptly, shattering any lingering sentiments of the preceding interaction.

The look on Starfire’s face was more than enough of a response.

“I’m not talking about the girl,” Raven huffed.

Beast Boy looked around. It was true. The suspicious glares were more than enough to tell that the rest of the diners weren’t fans. Maybe coming here had been a mistake.

“Is it really--? Oh, yes, finally!”

Beast Boy blinked hard, a smooth but animated voice bringing him back into the room.

“I’m so glad that you all agreed to meet me here,” a man said, approaching them eagerly.

Suddenly everything seemed to blur. The motion of the restaurant became nothing more than a swirling backdrop of light. For the third time that night, Beast Boy caught himself staring. He looked just like his picture. Too perfect to be real--and yet there he was. Black hair, dark eyes, perfect smiling complexion. The only indicator of his age was the shadow of graying stubble around his chin--and even that looked somehow manicured and intentional. But he walked and talked and was standing right before them just like any other human being. It felt like being in a dream. Or a nightmare.  

“I’m so sorry. I had to step outside to make a phone call,” the man continued. “Galtry. Dr. Nicholas Galtry,” he said, proceeding to shake each of their hands with an unprecedented force. “Really, it is an honor meeting the rest of you.”

“The...rest of us?” Robin asked, wiping his palm on his pant leg.

The man stopped short, a look of pure bewilderment washing over his face. “Oh...don’t tell me you didn’t get my letter?” As he spoke, he turned to look at Beast Boy directly.

“So you’re the letter guy?” Cyborg said, with a somewhat forced laugh.

“I had hoped Garfield might at least mention my name,” Galtry said, slowly.

For a moment, Beast Boy felt the same sense of crippling guilt returning, coupled with the discomfort of hearing his ‘name’ spoken aloud by someone he didn’t know. Or didn’t know well . He was still deciding.

“Well, I’m sure you all must be tired, called out like this on such short notice,” Galtry continued. “Again, all of my apologies, but I just couldn’t wait any longer to speak to you. Here, let’s go inside, shall we?”

The private dining room certainly was private. Almost to the point of being soundproof, which Beast Boy found to be more of a concern than a comfort. Robin automatically sat the closest to Galtry, which was unsurprising but still a relief. Beat Boy opted for a spot in the middle of the long table, where he reasoned he would be least likely to garner extra attention from their host.

Just then, the door swung open again, and another member of the wait staff entered to pour water into the intricate crystal glasses before them. He then proceeded to take drink orders—a cherry coke for Beast Boy and pinot grigio for Dr. Galtry.

“So,” Galtry said, swirling his wine like he was on the cover of a food magazine. “I understand you all have been on Arsenal’s trail for some time now.”

The room went still. Until, of course, Robin eventually broke the silence.

“Arsenal?”

The question would have sounded redundant on anyone else’s lips. But Robin said it with such confidence that it was Galtry who looked embarrassed.

“Oh. Of course. I’m sorry. I had assumed you were familiar with them.”

As one waiter exited, two more replaced him, setting various cutting boards piled high with expensive cheeses and sausages down the center of the table. Galtry sliced a piece of smooth white cheese off the cutting board, spreading it on a piece of toast without even looking down. “They’ve been causing me trouble ever since I first got here.”

“You sound like you know ‘em,” Cyborg said, his eyes resting on Galtry as he skewered his own kebab of sausage rounds.

“Unfortunately,” Galtry grumbled, mostly to himself. “They’ve been after some research of mine for some time now. I don’t pretend to know why. I’m not sure they would even know what to do with it if they were to get a hold of it.”

“What exactly are you researching?” Robin asked tentatively.

Galtry looked up at him suddenly, an expression akin to embarrassment flashing once more across his face. He was clearly not the type of man accustomed to having to introduce himself.

“I’m sorry. I’m getting a bit ahead of myself, aren’t I?” he cleared his throat. “I haven’t even properly introduced myself. That’s what happens when you frequent limited social circles your entire adult life,” he said with a short laugh. “Right now I hold a position as Research Chair for the department of Genomics at the University of Pretoria. I primarily conduct research regarding the development of new gene therapy technologies.”

“Why would the genes need therapy?” Starfire asked, already on her second round of charcuterie.  

Galtry fought back a bemused smile. “It’s not literal. Though that would be something, wouldn’t it? It’s a type of medical procedure,” he explained. “The sort of thing that would help us treat genetic disorders like cystic fibrosis or even reverse the production of cancer cells. The details are a bit...complicated,” he said thoughtfully, looking into his glass.

“As for my being here in Jump City, I admit it’s a bit of a surprise even to me. The U.S. Northeastern Scientific Board regularly invites me to present my work at their annual symposium, which is usually held in Gotham. But I understand there’s been somewhat of a crime spike there recently. And criminals do love the smell of science they don’t understand,” he said with a sardonic smile.

“You’ll have to excuse me for being so blunt,” Robin interjected. “But what does this have to do with us exactly?”

“Well that's a simple question with a rather complicated answer,” Galtry said, a slight frown coming across his face. “The less complicated aspect has to do with Arsenal themself. When I learned that they had found some opposition after following me to the states, I knew I would have to meet with whoever was tracking them. Lucky for me it turns out you all are pretty famous around here.”

“Well I wouldn’t say famous ,” Cyborg said, barely pulling off airs of humility.  

The doors swung open a third time as if on cue, this time letting loose a small string of waiters, each steering a cart laden with different shapes and sizes of covered plates. One was placed in front of each person at the table with expert precision and lifted dramatically to reveal the contents. Beast Boy was more than surprised to find that his dish was completely different than everyone else’s—stuffed mushrooms that looked like they’d been specially prepared. He didn’t remember mentioning that he was a vegan, and had the harrowing thought that maybe he had reached a stage where people knew without asking.

“So how do you know Beast Boy?” Starfire asked, head tilting slightly to one side like a puppy.

It was the question Beast Boy had been dying to hear the answer to--though he knew he would have been incapable of asking it.

“Of course. That’s the other half of the matter. And a bit more complicated,” Galtry said, rubbing his hands together meditatively. “The simple answer is that I was a friend of his parents’. Back during their tenure at the University of Pretoria.” There was a soft smile on his face, but it didn’t seem to exude any kind of joy. “Small world, isn’t it?”

“But all of those artifacts...all of their belongings--you sent those?” Robin tried to clarify.

Galtry nodded. “After their unfortunate passing, I was designated Garfield’s legal guardian by the court that sorted their affairs. They were always very private people, and I was the closest acquaintance they had. Their son was supposed to inherit their entire fortune--the only problem being...well...no one knew where you were,” he said, looking directly at Beast Boy now. “Seeing as you had still been under close medical watch at the time of your disappearance, it was the general belief that you had died somewhere in the jungle shortly afterward. But because there was never any actual proof of that being the case, the money was never dispersed by the government or anyone else. Instead it’s in a bit of a state of limbo held by those same officials—where it’s been utterly useless given the circumstances.”

Galtry looked down at the table, shaking his head. “I had just about given up hopes of ever finding Garfield—you wouldn’t believe how difficult it is to find someone once they’ve essentially erased their given name from their identity. Even through legal means. Surprisingly, the small detail of him being green didn’t help very much either,” Galtry said with a small laugh. “I only recently learned it was even an aspect of his...condition. The side effect hadn’t quite developed completely before he disappeared.”

Galtry spoke to his friends as if this was knowledge Beast Boy had always possessed and merely neglected to share with them, which, as far as he knew, was not the case. Though the historic tirade made him wonder just how much of his life he had forced himself to forget.  

Galtry shook his head once more. “There were always flitting rumors of what had really happened to the Logans’ son, but I was always too stubborn to believe them.” A small ironic smile crept over his face as he looked directly at Beast Boy. “You have to understand. I’ve dedicated my entire life to the sciences. And, quite frankly, your very existence seems to defy its most basic principles.”

The silence that followed was unlike any other that had filled the air that night. There was a certain quality to it that went beyond discomfort. Beast Boy felt himself instinctively clench the sides of his chair as he struggled to keep his expression neutral. Galtry’s words felt eerily like a compliment, and somehow that made things worse.

Robin cleared his throat suddenly, making a point to stand from his seat. “Thanks for the meal, it was really delicious. But this is all a lot to take in. We’ll need a little more time as a team to consider whether or not we can help you.”

“I completely understand,” Galtry said with a smile. “Especially considering we’ve only just met.” He folded his hands in front of him, like a compassionate leader about to make a compromise with some of his disheveled citizens. “If you all would like to know more about what it is I do, I would be more than happy to show you around my lab this weekend. Perhaps a better understanding of my work would convince you?”

“We’ll have to think about it,” Robin repeated in the same definitive tone.

“Of course,” Galtry said automatically. As if this were a dance he’d done many times before. “Here,” he rose from his seat. “For now the least I can do is see you off.”

The man known to them as Nicholas Galtry made his way through the door, exiting the restaurant the way they’d come in. But this time, Beast Boy noticed that it wasn’t the green skin and glowing eyes or robotic arms and legs that captured everyone’s attention. It was Galtry. The doors were opened for them as if on cue, valets and restaurant staff trailing behind them without Galtry so much as lifting a finger. When they got to the outside of the restaurant, Cyborg’s car was already there, running and ready to go.

“I could really use your help,” Galtry said, passing the keys from the valet’s hand to Cyborg’s. “I hope I’ll be hearing from you soon.”  

The second they were in the car, the doors shut tight behind them and a quiet voice broke the heavy silence.

“Did I mention I hate it here?” Raven mumbled, the first words she’d said since they’d met Galtry. The only words she’d said all night.

Beast Boy didn’t say it, but he had been thinking the same thing. Though maybe hate wasn’t the right word. Not exactly.

He turned to look out the back seat window, and watched as Galtry watched them drive away.

[stvlti]

2020 Creator Wrap

I was tagged by @irolltwenties to do the 2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works tag! Thank you, lovely (*˘ ε ˘*)

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Before I begin, let me just tag some friends:

@reaperlight @3dnygma @drowthelynes @transdankovsky @fantomn @lawliyeeeet @dressed-to-keehl @setfa @0akdown @reidsnor @clubolive @mermaides

No pressure, but it would be fun if you guys share some of your works this year ( ˘︶˘ ) let’s see those fics and edits and artworks!! Get the clicks and views y’all deserve 💕 💕

And now, onwards to my 2020 Favorite Works List!

I didn’t write nearly as much as some of you guys did. And though I did exceed my goal of putting out 1 fic per month, I don’t have 5 solid ones I’m proud of. So I’ll just list 4 fics here:

01 // Growing Pains

I’ve always been very nervous about reccing this one, because it broaches a topic that I don’t really have a right to claim? I’m not transgender myself, but I simply adore the trans Dick Grayson headcanon so much it singlehandedly brought me back to the DC fandom and restarted my fanfic-writing habit for 2020 😂😂 plus the writing quality isn’t half bad, and I still really like the idea/metaphor this little story started with and grew from. 

Fave moment (besides the obvious):

"Ka-Pow!!" The boy ventriloquised. Lego Robin sailed through the air in his fingers. One stubby, outstretched leg made contact with a Lego henchman, knocking all the surrounding baddies over like bowling pins. "Sorry Mr. Bad Guys, guess it's way past your bedtime too!"

"Good job, Robin." The boy lowered his prepubescent voice and tried to affect Batman's gravelly timbre as much as possible. In his other hand, he walked Lego Batman across the floor of the crime scene. "How about we round them up and leave it for the Commish? It's getting quite late."

"Oh oh! Can I have cookies on the ride back?"

The boy swivelled Lego Batman's grinning face around. "I don't see why not."

Another night out in Lego Gotham City, another day saved by the Dynamic Duo. This called for a celebration indeed. The boy set the pair of heroes down by the Lego Batmobile and reached over to his own plate of Alfred's after-school chocolate chip cookies. He took his sweet time with the last piece, savouring each bite, sighing at the way it melted on his tongue.

02 // Transference 

This is my best-performing fic in terms of the kudos to hits ratio, so I feel validated in being proud of this one :’) It’s a pretty good marker of the distances I’ve covered since getting serious about reading the comic source material end of 2019, as you can see from the much broader and varied cast of characters I focused on for this story. It also definitely cemented - to me, at least - the fact that I can write action scenes. When I went into “Second Chances” (a fem Jay fic) earlier this year, I was so nervous about writing the action sequence there, because I’ve never written a serious action scene up until that point! To me, this fic definitely showcases the growth I’ve experienced as a writer this year ^_^

Fave moment: (CONTAINS SPOILERS, PLEASE READ THE FIC FIRST IF YOU HAVEN’T!)

When the trio return, Ivy takes her place at the meeting table with a severe expression on her face. She chooses her words carefully, when she speaks. "The odds aren't pretty. We just accepted 100 refugees over the weekend, and the Green is still repairing itself after last week's attack."

Rose exchanges a glance with Jason. He gives her hand a reassuring squeeze, though he's not looking any better than she feels.

"But, each and everyone of us stayed behind to defend the Garden, because we all believed in giving a sanctuary for the civilian survivors out there.

"So bring them here. I'll take them in."

No sooner has Ivy finished the sentence, than Zatanna and Constantine have fired up their teleportation portal, and Harley's cheerful "Good luck!" is lost to the mad dash off to the rescue mission. The rest of the Shadowpact scramble after Rose as she launches herself through the portal—

—and slams into Arsenal, pushing him out of the way seconds before a meteoric explosion of green fire incinerates the very spot he'd been standing in.

03 // Paying It Forward

This one is important to me if only for the reason that it’s the first time I’ve written character dialogues that flowed. And I didn’t even need to plan them out meticulously beforehand! Do you know how rare that is for me as an ESL writer? Dialogues have been the bane of my existence since I started writing as a wee teen. Luckily, the Titans TV show has some solid character dynamics for me to fall back on. And from there I started reading NTT era Dick & Donna, and I just fell in love with their friendship. And now, I can turn to this fic as proof I still got it whenever I doubt my abilities as a writer c:

Fave moment:

Dick glanced at her, eyebrows raised. "She ran out on you?"

"No, no, we never really... I don't think it counts as running away if it never led to anything more."

"But you wanted it to be more." Dick paused, taking in Donna's silence, which would've fooled anyone else but him. "You still want it."

"I-- yeah." Donna sighed and held her hands up as if to say you caught me. "I'm... Sorry? For stealing your girl?"

Dick laughed, bemused. "She was never mine. She knew what she wanted, what she needed - and I wasn't in the right place to give her that."

"And you? You think I'm what she needs?"

"Better you than me. You're Donna Troy. Older, smarter, prettier..."

Donna gave him a deadpan stare.

"... And you know who you want to be. She likes that in a partner. I'm still figuring that one out for myself." Dick stretched his arms up and then leaned back into his seat, lacing his fingers behind his head as he stared up into the ceiling.

04 // When I'm down on my knees, you're how I pray

I’m including this one just to showcase I got the range, babey. And honestly, the fact that I was able to write this fic and actually receive positive reviews for it was a surprise to me too!! This was the first time I ever attempted to write a real darkfic with dead dove subject matters, and I managed to nail the emotional manipulation, somehow ;__; It was a real learning experience too, learnt so much about Catholicism just to write about Dick’s guilt issues in an AU setting nobody asked for 🤡

Fave moment: (dead dove warnings apply)

"Not at all, Richard," Roman said. The boy would come to him, eventually. "Now, it's getting late. If that's all, I'll have Jason fetch your room keys. Seven Hail Mary's before bed, and think about everything we've just discussed. Tomorrow we'll do a proper debriefing."

"I... Okay." For a moment, Dick sounded like he had more to say. Instead, Roman heard a muffled sniffle, one that Dick likely tried to disguise with a hand over his mouth. Silly boy.

"Thank you again, Father," Dick said, after a beat.

"All in a day's work, my child." Roman unlatched the door and stepped out of the booth. He nodded at Dick as the younger man ambled out of the booth after him. "Goodnight now, Richard."

As he set off for the living quarters, Dick called out. "Wait!"

Roman turned around, inclining his head.

"Will you stay?" The candlelight chased shadows away from Dick's face, and for one glorious moment, Roman could see the depth of the desperation shining in Dick's blue eyes.

"Guide me through my prayers. Please."

Roman smiled.

-

Oh did you think I was done? 😂 It did say Favourite Works and not just Favourite Fics, so I gotta include this one on the list too:

05 // 2020 Jason Todd Birthday edit

I said Robin Jason deserves better and I meant it! 👏👏 This edit took me 12 hours and 67 layers ‘cause I made a mistake on like my 8th hour into the editing process o__o but it ended up being my most popular serious graphic edit, so it was worth it. I guess! 

I mean the likes to reblog ratio is still fucked but hey, I broke 1k, which is more than I can say for any of my other edits

[ciriceart]

OC profiles: the Lawson family

From the now-defunct semi-interactive comic/creative writing projects, “Hunger, Nevada”, “Far From Any Road”, and “Saudade”.

The plot of these three stories cover topics and conflicts such as learning to relate to those around you, breaking toxic cycles, smalltown stagnation and the isolation of close-knit communities, and metaphorical (sometimes literal) body horror monsters that slowly poison towns and families. I wrote these stories from the ages of 14 to 21, and they're all very much a reflection of myself and my perspectives/outlook at those times. I still go back and revisit certain areas, but can't see myself rewriting them in full any time soon. I feel like that would be a disservice to my past self - I used these to sort out and explore my own feelings and hangups, and they served their purpose, but I still draw and talk about the boys more often than I expected I would when I drew my first doodle of Ellis and Lawrence in 8th grade detention. This post is just an infodump about the family of the main characters. I'm not getting into plot details just yet. Though it is worth noting, this was at the height of my Silent Hill hyperfixation, and Ellis and Lawrence began life as the protags of my imaginary Silent Hill fangame for which I made an entire gamefaqs walkthrough because I did not know how to write or draw too well. That doesn't really matter too much now, I just think it's fun.

The Lawson family consists of Francis (or Frank) and Amalia Lawson, and their two sons, Ellis and Lawrence.

Frank is a large man, about 6’3 with green eyes, short auburn hair,  and a beard. His skin is somewhat pale but has a minor farmer’s tan from working outdoors, and there’s a spatter of freckles across his entire face. He sometimes wears rectangular half-frame glasses and uses a walking stick.

Amalia is about 5’4 and stocky, with dark brown, almost black hair cut in the patented Mom Bob(tm) with bangs and dark eyes. Her face is somewhat oblong with round, soft features and her skin is a warm mid-to-light brown.

Ellis ranges in age from 17 to 26 across plots. His facial structure favors his father. He’s about 5’10,  has very light brown skin, freckles on his face, arms, chest and shoulders, dark eyes and auburn hair. As a teenager, his hair reaches to about his jaw with an off-center part, and he keeps it short and parted on the side as he gets older. He usually at least attempts to comb his hair back but half of it just falls back in front of his face anyway. Sometimes sports various non-serious injuries such as scratches and bruises. He’s rough-and-tumble.

As a teen, most of his outfits consist of torn up jeans, skater shoes, and a plethora of graphic or band tees. Sometimes an old flannel stolen from dad, or black canvas jacket. As an adult, he wears mostly intact but faded black work pants, black or brown work boots, a plain T-shirt and often an unbuttoned overshirt with either short sleeves or the sleeves rolled up.

Lawrence also ranges in age across stories, from 9 to 17. His facial structure favors his mother. He has pale skin, freckles across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, green eyes, and auburn hair in a short, choppy buzzcut that he later grows out to reach past his shoulders as he gets into his teens. As a child, he’s very short and scrappy, and then becomes gangly and awkward as a teenager.

As a child, his wardrobe is typically all childish graphic tees and cargo shorts or jeans, all picked out by his parents. As he gets older, he becomes introverted and shy, always covering himself up in an absurd number of layers – he's often seen wearing a short-sleeved shirt with long sleeves underneath, either a flannel or sweater, and a massively oversized forest green jacket with a red fleece collar. He usually sticks to plain, slightly baggy jeans and sneakers.

--

Frank and Amalia married in their mid to late 20’s and moved to Frank’s hometown of Ansley, [state redacted].

Frank works in a hardware store and as a repairman. Some years ago, Frank suffered a spinal injury, resulting in chronic pain and his use of a walking stick. He still works at the hardware store and takes repair jobs, though he’s unable to work as often or for as long as he used to.

Ellis drops out of high school in the second quarter of 11th grade to work full-time at the hardware store and begins picking up smaller repair jobs around town. Lawrence, being much younger, is not employed but occasionally does smaller tasks such as sweeping up or organizing shelves after closing hours, or tagging along with his brother or dad on repair jobs to help where he can.

Amalia works at a packing and shipping facility in the city. She works overnight, six days a week with Mondays off. She’s usually home about an hour before her sons have to get up for school. Amalia’s pack a day smoking habit and Frank’s temper are the subjects of most conflicts, but they never progress past passive aggressive remarks or heated discussions. The family occasionally relies on financial help from a man named Mike, whose family has been friends with Frank’s for several years, to make ends meet. He’s often the reason that their heat and water stay on.

The Lawsons are a practicing family of Amicists. They regularly attend service at The First Church of the Shoal United in the next town over. More on Amicism at a later date.

Ellis has a lot of pent up resentment toward authority figures and “grown-ups” in general, even into his own adulthood, due to Backstory Reasons I won’t get into here.

James, Marie, Robin, and Brian are Ellis’ friends from high school. They mostly sit around smoking pot and watching bad movies, sneak out to drink at the park after curfew, and attempt to skate in vacant parking lots.

James was held back in middle school and is one or two years older than the rest of the group. Most parents in town still call him Jimmy and think he’s a very nice boy. If asked to describe him, his long line of ex-girlfriends would say “he’s so nice, but GOD he’s so dumb.” Marie was closer to Robin and James than she was to Ellis, so they didn’t hang out outside of the group at all. She thought Ellis was kinda weird, but not a “bad weird” so she never mentioned it or complained. Robin is that sort of midwestern emo girl in everyone’s math class who’s an artist, but all she draws is semi realistic eyes with elaborate eyeliner in her English notes. She regularly gets into arguments with Ellis and James on what genre different bands count as. Brian is the obvious stoner friend who would be kinda chill to hang out with if he weren’t so loud and annoying about how his parents totally don’t even care and just like, totally let him do whatever he wants.

Dropping out of high school to work a fulltime job, having no interest in college, minimal relationship experience, and staying in such a small and rural town leads to Ellis becoming socially isolated and unable to fully relate with people his own age. He slowly falls out of touch with his friends and people he knew from school, preferring surface level interactions with older coworkers, relatives and friends of the family.

Lawrence, as a result of his older brother’s attempt at parenting while Frank and Amalia are working, learns to be untrusting and uncooperative as well. He picks up a smoking habit by age 14, often stealing them from Ellis or from their mom's purse when she’s home, and sneaks out of his and Ellis’ shared bedroom through the window at night.

Lawrence is a nice kid, but struggles to make friends. Throughout all of middle school and into high school, he only manages to befriend two others named Catherine and Donnie.

Donnie is Brian’s little brother. He and Lawrence aren’t actually friends, but they tend to tag along when Ellis and Brian hang out at each other’s houses. Catherine has known Lawrence since they were in third grade, but they never hung out until they got put in the same advanced math class in middle school.

As he gets older, Lawrence begins to neglect his few friendships and social life in favor of fiction; most notably stories and unfiction focusing on the occult and supernatural, as well as a video game series called Sprout Friends, a puzzle game involving farming and anthropomorphic fruits and vegetables. If he isn’t hiding out on the rooftop of the house at night, he’s locked in the bedroom playing one of multiple Sprout Friends titles, or hunting for strange occurrences around town during the night.

--

Fun fact: Ellis' middle name is Layne, and Lawrence's middle name is Elijah. I thought it would be cute if their middle names had the same first letters as each other's firsts.

[miraculous-mare]

Hi everyone! I'm Imbri, I made this sideblog earlier this month when I got super into MLB and DCU from a more fanfic-esque perspective and wanted to try my hand at fic writing. I've since been pretty sick and I'm only just getting better, so I wanted to throw some possible story arcs and headcanons on here so I could preserve them somewhere and hold myself accountable for writing them. If this gets long I'll make separate posts but for now enjoy my tired ramblings

1. To All the Vigilantes I've Loves Before (TALTBILB AU)

We're starting with a fluffier one bc I'm in that kind of mood. You know how in To all the boys Lara Jean writes her letters when she has a huge crush? To her, the letters are a way to immortalize that feeling, to preserve it forever. She locks her love away until she wants to acknowledge it again, preserving it and ensuring her feelings are never tainted by the reality of these people. I don't think Marinette would do that. No, Marinette gets too caught up in the rosy side of love, especially when she's younger. She doesn't need a constant reminder of the good things about her crushes, she needs to be reminded of the bad, of the harsh reality of these people. Young Marinette dives in too deep too fast with Adrien, ignores his character in favor of her fantasy, and she never forgets how much it hurt. So in a moment of clarity, when he tells her not to stand up to Lila and abandons her, she writes him a letter. It's not mean, or attacking, and she doesn't intend to send it (she still addresses and stamps it, of course, because she's extra like that, and makes sure not to seal it so she can reread it, but she plans to keep it locked away). It's just an honest reflection on how he's not who she thought he was. How her affection for him was toxic, how she can't go back to being the Marinette who's obsessed with him, but he will always be the first boy she ever loved. Loved, past tense. And she intends to keep it that way.

Luka is the next one to get a letter. She writes his in the middle of the night. She couldn't sleep, had randomly decided to design a new stage outfit for him, and was quite impressed with her work until she found herself coloring his eyes green and his hair blond. She stops herself before she adds black cat ears, but the damage is done. Mari realizes he had always been a distraction for her, that she was trying to use his affection to bounce back from heartache. She rereads her letter to adrien before taking out a clean sheet of paper. Luka's letter is about how she can't hold on to love or the idea of a relationship so as to ignore her feelings and her hurt. She writes about how she was lucky to make new friends when her class turned her back on her, but she was trying too hard to pretend nothing had changed. Luka was filling the void Adrien had left, and marinette knew that she couldn't fall back on her unhealthy habits. She mentions that she still loves Luka, of course she does, but not like that, never like that. The next day, she tells him, in no uncertain terms, that he means a lot to her, really, and she doesn't want to lead him on, but he's honestly just a friend. Luka smiles and hugs her and tells her that's fine, and they remain close.

Chat noir gets his own letter when she starts to see herself with him but he won't stop flirting. She writes that as much as she can get caught up in the daydreams of their superhero power couple, he never wants to give her space or let her figure anything out. When they defeat hawkmoth and she finds out who he is, she pens an short paragraph about how hypocritical it was of him to tell her to back off Lila and let things work themselves out while being so insistent in his relationship with ladybug. She puts all three letters into one envelope and seals it. She knows now she can never love Adrien, that she will never look at him the same. She's learned her lesson, and she wants to leave this chapter in the past.

As Marinette grows up, finishes high school and her Guardian studies, as she gets her business degree, the pile of letters only grows. But Mari has become too hurt, too cautious with her heart. Her letters, once testaments to her growth and maturity, are now filled with excuses. Too scared to let anything develop into more than a basic crush, she pens a letter every time she lets her guard down, every time she feels even a sliver of non-platonic affection for anyone, and stashes it away with the rest of her unresolved feelings.

When she pins Kim down for a second too long during one of their sparring matches, she writes that she cannot jeopardize their friendship. They train together less frequently after that.

When she finds herself laughing too hard at her seatmate's whispered jokes in Intro to Business, she reasons that they're probably a player and sits somewhere else from then on.

On a visit to Paris, she loses herself in Kagami's eyes and her letter is about how stupid it is to even try long distance. So on and so forth, until her letters are nothing but quick notes and her reasons become meaningless.

This post is too long so I'm gonna rush through the next bits I'm sorry. She finally moves to Gotham, opens up a little boutique, and ladybug accepts an invitation to join the League. Soon after, she meets the Robins (it's hard not to come in contact when everyone enjoys jumping off the same rooftops in the dead of night), and she has a new, albeit secondary, team/family (because of course they know each other's identities).

At this point, Marinette has over twenty letters, all wrapped in twine and stuffed into a small box she keeps at the back of her closet. Her kwami try to push her to date again, insist this terrible habit needs to be broken, but she insists she's fine alone. Most are okay with this, but Plagg and Trixx? Not so much. One day, while she's down in her Atelier in the middle of a fitting, they rifle through the box, pick out a single letter, and convince kaalki to (begrudgingly) open up a portal straight into someone's PO Box (p sure Plagg used cataclysm by himself once so it's possible. If not let's ignore that and pretend it is lmao). Tikki is not impressed, but she doesn't do anything to stop them either.

It's three days later when Marinette finds out it's missing, a flirty encounter with red hood sending her rifling through her stash for Jason Todd's name. She needs to remind herself that he's too much of a bad boy, too flirty, too dark, that she’s too close to the bats to ruin it with feelings. She decides she misplaced it until Jason stops by her flat two days later, letter in hand.

Now, Jason technically comes over to confront Marinette, but he’s not sure about what, exactly. she seemed to have liked him at some point, but was convinced it wouldn’t work out. Part of him wants to prove her wrong, part of him is wondering why she’s so mistrusting to have written him off so soon. Marinette, upon seeing her letter, panics, but she ends up having to explain everything. Jason isn’t sure if he should be more concerned that literal gods have decided to take her relationship into their own tiny hands or that she’s so scared of loving she’s got this stash of letters about nearly everyone in her life. Eventually he convinces her to pull them out, and Jason is so shocked by the sheer number of them that he almost wants to wrap her in his arms and show her that love isn’t all bad. Instead, he slips and offers to help set her up on dates, and before they know it they have a contract: he’ll plan a new blind date for her, with anyone from one of the open letters, every two weeks. She promises to go in open-minded and do her best to actually make it work. In exchange, he’ll model for her newest line (something she’s been begging him to do for ages). When she says the contract is all in her favor, he throws in that she can be his date to the Wayne Christmas Party at the end of the year. They shake on it, and the pieces begin to fall into place.

Cue six months of a heavily pining Jason setting Marinette up on dates she progressively wants to go on less and less. Cue them meeting for fittings and clothe designs in Marinette’s atelier and grabbing coffee together. Marinette starts to open up to the possibility of love, but with Jason, who’s obviously not interested or else why would he still be setting her up on dates? it’s all incredibly messy and complicated and a little angsty but just a ton of fun.

Idk I feel like this idea low-key sucks now that I’ve written it out so uhhh let me know what you guys think? I have other ideas but I’m gonna put them into other posts bc this is too long as is. 

[stealthy-like-a-ninja]

A Silent Vow

Where Steve reflects on what has happened and what’s to come.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Henderson!reader

Steve laid back down beside you and let out a sigh. Although he was ridiculously tired, he just couldn’t fall asleep.

The lamp on your bedside table flickered a few times beside him, indicating its need for a new light bulb sooner rather than later, while Sting’s soothing voice played quietly from the record player that sat on top of your dresser. He lost count of how many times he’d gotten up to restart your vinyl copy of Synchronicity by that point but didn’t really care as he mindlessly tapped along to the rhythm and stared at the ceiling.

He was pretty sure that he was the only one awake in the house, seeing how late it was. Ms. Henderson had gone to bed fairly early that night while you and he were cuddled up on the couch watching Grease with Dustin. It was your turn to pick the movie so neither he or Dustin really had a choice in the matter, but your little brother still made sure to express his annoyance in not being able to watch A New Hope again as he flopped into the lazy-boy recliner and grumpily stuffed his mouth full of popcorn.

Once the movie concluded, Steve was reluctant about not waking you from the peaceful slumber you had dozed off into so that the two of you could go up to bed. Dustin, on the other hand, was less considerate and wasted no time in throwing a pillow at your head so that you’d get up.

“We’re helping the Byers’ and El move tomorrow, and I don’t want to listen to you complain about how sore you are because you slept on the couch all night,” your little brother grumbled as he climbed out of the chair. Steve was about to scold him for being a dickhead, but didn’t get the chance to before Dustin muttered a quick goodnight to the two of you and made his way upstairs to his bedroom because she was tired; even though you all knew he was really just calling his girlfriend, Suzie.

You and Steve, however, followed suit and made the trek up to your bedroom as well, deciding to call it a night with just how exhausted the two of you were.

It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep with how drainingly busy you had been. It was your last year at Hawkins High School along with Nancy, and you had been up to your ears in homework and extracurriculars. However, even with all the time you spent studying and doing other things, you never let Steve or any of your friends fall under the radar. You helped him create a new resume that he was to use to apply to jobs with Robin the following day, drove Dustin and the rest of the party to and from school almost every day, and insisted that you’d help with whatever the Byers’ would need as they prepped for their departure from Hawkins in the upcoming weeks.

Although you tried to hide it, Steve (and everyone else) was able to see right through your facade of not being too upset over the Byers’ and Eleven moving away. Jonathan was one of your oldest friends, Will and Eleven were two more little siblings you never had; as were the rest of the party, and Joyce was very much a motherly figure to you and always had been. It was only natural that you’d see them off despite how tired and worn out you truly were.

As the next song started playing from the record player, you unconsciously snuggled closer to your boyfriend, and he couldn’t help but grin warmly. You looked so peaceful. However, Steve couldn’t help but think about how that was a completely different story leading up to the events that occurred three months earlier. Soon leading him to let his thoughts begin swarming.

To say that you and Steve had been through a lot would be an understatement. In fact, the two of you had basically been dragged through hell and back, but still managed to function as if nothing had happened. Well, almost. A lot occurred since the two of you started dating around Christmastime the year prior, not to mention everything that happened before that too.

Soon enough, Steve was overcome with the fresh memories of his entire relationship with you.

The two of you always knew each other, Hawkins was incredibly small after all, but you were never really close. However, that all changed in the fall of 1983 when Will and your friend Barb were sucked into the Upside Down, and the first Demogorgon wreaked havoc on your beloved town... The stupid thing almost got you too, but Steve came out of nowhere with that nail-filled bat of his during that fight.

After that, things were quiet, and life resumed as regularly as it possibly could. Steve started seeing you a lot more, thanks to the budding friendship you formed with Nancy after losing Barb, Dustin’s friendship with her younger brother Mike and fighting the monster from the Upside Down together. You, her, and Jonathan grew insanely close after everything, which naturally led to Steve being around much more often as well since he and Nancy were still dating.

After what Nancy said to Steve at the party, he was crushed, but you were there. You went out of your way to try to cheer him up because you refused to pick sides when it came to him and Nancy. He appreciated it more than he could explain, and couldn’t help but notice a warm fuzzy feeling that formed whenever he was around you after that.

He never acted on those feelings, though. Instead, he tried to bury them deep down in hopes they would never surface; but, things changed once Dustin unknowingly brought home a cat-eating, future Demogorgon called Dart.

Steve soon got a firsthand look at just how badass you were when the two of you fought off the demodogs in the old junkyard after you demanded that the Dustin stayed on the bus with Max and Lucas. You naturally had each other’s backs during the whole thing and him fighting with his bat, and you with your trusty crowbar sure put a dent in those bastards from the Upside Down.

Billy showing up at the Wheeler’s house after the junkyard was probably one of Steve’s least favourite memories that you were involved in. It wasn’t because of how he got royally beat up, even though that sucked, but because of how helpless he knew, he made you feel. The sounds of you sobbing and screaming at Billy to stop as Dustin, Mike, and Lucas held you back was on a sickening loop in his mind for days after that, but he really couldn’t think about it at the time seeing he was only barely conscious.

The rest of that night happened in a blur. Steve woke up in the back of Billy’s car while Max was driving, and you nowhere to be found. He soon figured out that Dustin and Mike somehow locked you in the trunk because they knew you’d try to put a stop to their plan, and although they could all hear you yelling and thrashing in the back, none of the kids answered when Steve asked where you were.

“She’s fine, we’re almost there anyway,” Dustin assured while Steve just shook his head, that was until it dawned on him that Max was driving the car and he started freaking out.

He remembered how livid you were as soon as the car came to a stop, and kids opened the trunk again. But, even that anger was short-lived when you looked over to see him awake and basically falling out of the car. You were by his side in an instant, helping him stay upright, and joining him in telling the kids that they were not going down into those tunnels. Brave of both of you to assume any of them would actually listen.

Down in the tunnels, Steve led the group, and you went to follow at the end of it. However, Dustin said he’d go last; and despite your protesting, your baby brother was firm and did not take no for an answer.

“As the man of the family, it’s up to me to make sure you’re safe,” he argued.

“But Dusty-.”

“No buts, Y/N. Follow along.”

Steve watched as you smiled before reaching over to take of Dustin’s hat so you could ruffle his curls, even though you knew he hated when you did that.

“My hero.”

“Whatever,” he grumbled as he snatched his hat back before following behind you and Max.

Once the group was further into the caves and the six of you were a bit more spaced out from one another, Steve was still able to notice your distressed reaction to Dustin yelling from somewhere further behind. The commotion instantly caught his attention, and when he quickly whipped back around, he was able to see, from was what was visible, of your face go pale before you took off in the direction of your brother while he and the rest of the kids followed. When you all reached Dustin, and he started coughing and claiming he was ok, you immediately thumped him in the head and gave him shit for scaring you like that, something Steve couldn’t help but smile at before continuing on again.

As soon as the hub was on fire and everyone was running back to the entrance, you were so focused on getting the kids out first and making sure that they were ok. When a tentacle type thing wrapped itself around Mike’s ankle, you ripped Steve’s bat from his hands and used it to free the youngest Wheeler, and almost started swinging again at Dart once it showed up; but Steve held you back as Dustin took control of the situation. You instinctively gripped onto his hand as you watched your brother interact with the demodog out of fear, which Steve would tease you about after the fact, although the gesture secretly made him a little flustered.

Your little group passed Dart and started bolting back towards where you entered the tunnels originally, you were all aware of how fast you’d have to move based off the screeching of more demodogs approaching. Once everyone reached the rope used to get down there, you helped Max, Lucas, and Mike get out as soon as you could. Just as you were about to help Dustin up, Steve’s arms wrapped around you and started lifting you up so you could climb out.

“You’re next,” he muttered as a surprised yelp left your mouth, but you were quick in recovering as you grabbed ahold of the rope and climbed the rest of the way.

As soon as you were above ground again, you immediately went back to the hole and looked down to help the other two, but much to your dismay, they were frozen as a massive pack of demodogs came rushing at them.

“No!” You yelled as the other kids called for Dustin to come on before watching in horror as Steve stepped in front of your brother to keep him protected from the oncoming heard, but then, the demodogs started running past them without attacking. Steve pulled Dustin close just in case one did attack, but you all knew they wouldn’t because they were too focused on something else. Eleven was closing the gate.

Steve and Dustin were quick in getting out of the tunnels after that, and you wasted no time in pulling Dustin into a bone-crushing hug and repeating the same thing over and over again.

“Thank god you’re ok.”

As soon as Dustin assured that he was indeed ok, you let him go and stepped back so his friends could take over.

Steve lingered nearby, watching the exchange happen between you and Dustin with a small smile as he patiently waited for the next step. But before he knew it, a pair of arms wrapped around his middle, and he was met by you crashing into his chest in a tight embrace.

“I’m so glad you’re ok too,” you stated, shaking your head as Steve instinctively put his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if something happened.”

“Hey, it’s alright,” he soothed as he started rubbing small circles on your back, his heart clenching when a choked sob left your mouth. “You’re ok, no one got hurt. We’re safe.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” you replied as you started pulling away. Steve could tell you were embarrassed about breaking down like that as you reached away to wipe away the tears spilling from your eyes, and that made him feel even worse. “God, I’m such a mess.”

“No, you aren’t, Y/N. You are one hell of a badass, though.”

A small gasp left your mouth as Steve gently placed his hand under your chin so that you’d be facing him. He didn’t say anything else as he used his thumb to wipe away a few of your stray tears before eventually meeting your gaze, and feeling himself soften. An unfamiliar feeling started swarming in his stomach as you two stood there, staring at each other. Although he had yet to admit it, you caused him to feel massive amounts of butterflies whenever you were around, and that little predicament was no exception.

Slowly, his gaze moved to your lips before fluttering back to lock eye contact with you and letting out a sigh.

“I might regret this,” he started. “But fuck it.”

His grip on your waist tightened as he started leaning down towards you, and you gulped. There was no denying that you had feelings for Steve by that point, but was he really about to kiss you? Your brain screamed at you to move away. He was your brother's best friend and mentor, not to mention one of your best friends exes, but still, as you watched his eyes flutter shut again while he moved to brush his lips against yours slightly, there was no way you were going to stop him.

However, something else did.

The headlights from the car parked only a few feet away grew extremely bright, causing you and Steve to move away from one another just so you could shield your eyes from the beam. You both stepped closer to the kids, confused as to what was going on as the brightness increased, but then it all clicked once the headlights shut off on their own. Eleven closed the gate.

After that, life went on to somewhat resume normally, well, as normally as it could in Hawkins.

Will ended up being ok for the time being after El took care of the Mind Flayer, and before anyone knew it, a month had passed.

During that month, Barb’s funeral happened, which was tough, but you all powered through it. Eleven officially became Jane ‘El’ Hopper, and you continued life as a high school junior. Fall soon turned into winter, and although it was hard to just forget about everything that happened, everyone tried their best to do just that. And to top it all off, you and Steve had barely spoken.

It was awkward as hell. You’d see each other in the hallways at school, and just avoid each other. Neither of you was sure how to even initiate a conversation after the almost kiss you shared, and it was obviously eating away at the both of you.

Jonathan, Nancy, and Dustin were the ones to pick up on how weird you and Steve had gotten to be around each other, not that it was tough for them to tell either. Dustin approached Steve about it (even though he wasn’t too keen on the fact that the girl his friend was fawning over was his sister at first) and told him to man the hell up (even though he didn’t), while subtly trying to get you to hang out with them; to which you consistently declined. You felt really bad about it all and continued avoiding Steve until Jonathan and Nancy called you out on it.

The first thing you did was apologize to Nancy for being a shitty friend, but much to your surprise, she just chuckled. She explained that it was ok if you liked Steve, but what wasn’t ok was how mopy you were because you hadn’t talked to him. Jonathan backed up her on her statements and explained how they were pretty sure Steve felt the same way, but still, neither of you spoke to the other.

When it came time for the snowball, Steve dropped Dustin off at Hawkins Middle School and was completely not expecting to see you all dressed up and helping out Nancy at the punch bowl. Sure he knew you were going to be there. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been needed to drive Dustin, but still, just the sight of you allowed the familiar feeling of a weight being placed on his chest form, and he just simply could not look away. As he watched you, he couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at his lips as you smiled at whoever came up to get some punch, or how you stuck your tongue out at Dustin once he entered the gym. He became entranced. So focused on you, that he actually jumped when you moved your head to the side and ended up locking eye contact with him through the window.

He froze instantly, as did you, but once Nancy noticed what you were gawking at, she smiled a little and nudged you to snap you back to reality. Steve watched as Nancy said something to you before you nodded in response and started walking towards him, almost as if you were on a mission. He remained parked in his spot as you pushed through doors and right up to his car.

“Uh, hi.” Was all he was able to blurt out as he got a better view of how good you looked in your dress.  

“Hey,” you replied back and crouched down so you could be eye to eye with him. “We need to talk.”

Slowly, he nodded, not having it in him to avoid the situation any longer. “Yeah, hop in.”

You did as he said and climbed into the passenger seat, not saying anything else as he pulled away from the door and into a parking space on the other side of the building.

Cyndi Lauper’s Time After Time started blaring from the gym as you and Steve got out of his car and moved to sit on the hood. Neither of you spoke up, but the silence was deafening, and you knew you’d lose your mind if you didn’t speak up sooner or later.

“So…”

“We almost kissed,” Steve finished, and glanced over at you. Your cheeks instantly flushed red, and you were extremely thankful it was a bit chilly out because it helped mask your blush a bit better.

“We did,” you replied, unsure of what to say next.

“I’m not sorry about it,” he blurted out and caused your gaze to snap to him.

“What?”

“I said, I’m not sorry about it,” he repeated, as you shook your head.

“Steve-.”

“I like you, Henderson. A lot. I’m not going to apologize for wanting to kiss you, regardless of how shitty that makes me seem for doing such a thing to Nancy…”

He trailed off on the last part of his sentence and slowly dropped his gaze to the ground. You blinked twice, wanting to make sure you processed the fact that he actually said those things before speaking up again.

“Is that why you were avoiding me?”

“Yeah,” he answered with a nod. “And I wasn’t too sure how Dustin would feel about the whole thing at first.”

“What do you mean, at first?” You questioned while furrowing your eyebrows.

“Pretty sure he’s been spending the last couple of weeks trying to set us up,” Steve laughed and looked back to you. “But I was still too nervous to actually talk to you.”

“Well, you had no need to be.”

“What?”

“Cause I feel the same, Harrington,” you explained and could’ve sworn you saw his eyes light up. “I was chicken too. I didn’t want to hurt Dusty or Nancy, but in actuality, they were the ones pushing me to not be such a coward and just speak to you.”

“Oh, wow,” he replied with wide eyes and let out a breath. “So, what now?”

“Well, I wouldn’t mind if you actually kissed me this time.”

He smiled at that before facing you again and shaking his head. “Don’t need to tell me twice.”

You didn’t have time to react before Steve was leaning in and crashing his lips against yours. Although you always expected to like the feeling of kissing him, you didn’t think you’d miss the sensation so quickly when he moved away. The two of you stared at one another before immediately reaching out and pulling the other closer than you already were. His arms wrapped around your waist, and your hands tangled into his hair as your mouths collided once again.

The two of you made out for a minute or so before the song in the gym changed and was replaced with the familiar riff of Every Breath You Take, causing you to moan slightly before slightly breaking away from the kiss.

“I love this song,” you mumbled against his lips with a smirk.

He let out a laugh before kissing you again and slowly leaning you back onto the hood of his car. “Sure sets the mood, alright.”

Before things could get any steamier, a deep voice called out and caused the two of you to instantly move away from one another.

“Is that you over there, Harrington?”

Of all people that could have noticed the two of you, it just had to be Hopper. Turned out, he was only a few feet away talking to Joyce, who was giggling as she realized what had just happened. “Oh, leave them, be, would you?”

Hop just shook once he saw you slowly stood up beside Steve and tried not to laugh. Steve could tell the sheriff wanted to say something but didn’t as he looked to Joyce and started walking in the other direction.

“Just stay out of trouble, you two.”

“And have a good night!” Joyce chimed in before following after Hopper.

Once they were out of sight, you and Steve glanced at each other and burst out laughing. After a few minutes of trying to catch your breath from laughing so hard, the two of you agreed to go get some food at the diner before having to come back and pick Dustin up.

And that was how it all began. As Steve looked down at your still sleeping figure, he smiled as he thought about just how hard and how fast he fell for you. It’d been a year since then, and he didn’t even have words to describe how happy he was just with you, even on top of what happened during the summer months.

It was supposed to be an uneventful summer. Steve started working at Scoops Ahoy, and you were working at a clothing shop on the upper level of Starcourt. Seeing as there wasn’t anything ever really going on in Hawkins anymore, and Dustin was away at camp, you and Steve tried to make the most of it, and spent what free time the two had together; even planning to save up and take a little weekend trip together before you started school again up to Chicago or Detroit, you guys hadn’t decided yet. However, that never happened.

Instead, your summer was filled with Russians, the return of the Mind Flayer, lots of death, and just overall a ton of traumatic experiences. You were kidnapped, and had to witness Steve get beat up, again; although he did win one fight, which you did give him credit for. The two of you, along with Robin, were injected with a truth serum that just created a mess of things when your boyfriend told your captors your brother's full name and resulted in you almost taking matters into your own hands by murdering him yourself.

Along with all that, many people you knew actually did die. Whether it had been because of the Mind Flayer and his army made up of people you knew (like Billy and Heather), the fall of Starcourt itself, having to fight off the Mind Flayer and face the possibility of losing any of the people you cared for most, or how everyone had to accept the loss of Hopper after he closed the gate to the Upside Down once again to prevent anything like that to happen again. It was sure one bitch of a summer, but still, somehow, you and Steve managed to survive.

It truly amazed Steve what the two of you had been through together when he thought about it. It’s been a shit show of a ride, but the two of you, Nancy, Jonathan, Robin, Erica, and the party, all ended up being ok, which is all either of you could have really asked for.

The sound of the record coming to an end once again brought Steve back to reality from his thoughts, and he let out a sigh. He glanced over at the alarm clock to see that it was almost three in the morning and let out a groan. With a roll of his eyes at himself for staying up so late, he sat up so he could reach over to turn off the lamp and call it a night, but froze when you started whimpering and moving around beside him.

You were having a nightmare. Steve had them too. He knew first hand how terrifying they were, filled with images and memories of all the things he’s had to face, and he absolutely hated the thought of you going through that.  

Your whimpers turned into pleas. You were begging for your boyfriend, Dustin, and the others to be left alone so that they could be safe, but with the way, your movements got more aggressive, and your breathing came more sporadic; Steve knew he couldn’t let you suffer through that.

“Y/N,” he whispered and started shaking your shoulders gently, not wanting to scare you even more. You began thrashing by that point, and his heart broke. “Y/N, I need you to wake up. Please babe, just open your eyes for me.”

After a brief moment, you gasped loudly and finally woke from your dream. Steve watched as you took a few deep breaths to calm yourself and blinked as your eyes adjusted to the light-filled room. Once your heart rate steadied, you finally looked to him and sent him a small smile.

“Hey,” he said softly and reached out to hold onto your hand.

“Hey,” you replied with one more deep breath and squeezed his hand. “Did I wake you up?”

“No, I couldn’t sleep as it was,” he explained before moving to brush some hair away from your face. “Nightmare?”

You nodded tiredly, tears welling up in your eyes. “The Mind Flayer almost got you in that one.”

“Hey, it’s alright,” Steve soothed as he shifted his position so that he could lay back down beside you and pull you into his chest. “I’m right here. Not going anywhere, ok?”

You nodded again.

“But what if something happens again, Steve? What if it’s worse next time?”

Your voice was barely a whisper as it was drowned out by a few sobs, killing him just a little bit more inside as he thought about what you said.

“You can’t think like that,” he told you firmly before placing a kiss to the top of your head. “We’re going to be just fine with whatever life throws at us. You know this.”

“I do,” you replied softly. “As long as we’re together.”

“Exactly. Now try to go back to sleep, you need rest.”

“Aye aye captain,” you chuckled before cuddling up even closer to him. He just smiled in response and reached over to turn the lamp off. Once he was done, he returned to his spot next to you and wrapped his arms protectively around your waist again.

It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep again, Steve even stayed up a little while longer just to make sure you didn’t have another nightmare. As soon as he was sure you were resting peacefully, he let himself drift off into sleep, but not without mumbling a quick ‘I love you’ while making a silent promise to himself to keep you safe from what life could possibly throw next at the two of you. 

[youngdreamer3214]

Oooooh can you do prompt #8 with Nightwing/Raven

8. “I love you! Is that what you wanted to hear?”

Thank you for requesting. I hope you like this.

Hurt/ Comfort and Fluff

Assume standard disclaimer.

It began as a whisper in the air, almost as if the calm before the storm. Clouds had been decorating the sky the entire day, almost like teasing the ground below not defining when they would let the soil come to life again with the rain only they could provide. When suddenly the clouds started to darken, sky turning in the darkest shade of blue almost black which contrasted with the bright, colorful lightening which started its intricate dance in the sky; the sky its stage and the thunderous roars its music.

Just like that, a storm was brewing.

A little far away, on an island another storm was brewing but this storm was inside a specific ‘T’ shaped tower, a storm of emotions willing to swallow the inhabitants of the tower  whole, mirroring the one brewing outside.

“What do you want from me, Raven?” Richard yelled at the purple haired hero in frustration, his eyes laced with tears and his heart constricting in his chest painfully. A few lamps shattered in the background but he paid no mind to it, his entire focus was on the woman in front of him.

Even after defeating her father and gaining control of her emotions, she still has outbursts like these when she is experiencing very strong emotions; her emotions mixed with the ones she is feeling from the man in front of her caused the dark haired beauty to lose control of her emotions.

She didn’t say anything, her face remained stoic but her amethyst eyes spoke volumes, they reflected every emotion she was feeling but hiding from the man, her leader when they were teenagers and now a very close friend.

Richard groaned and ran his hand through his hair tiredly while he took the sight of the enchantress in, for the umpteenth time that evening. Her now long dark raisin hair, framing her face in such a way that he wondered if it was normal to be jealous of hair for they could touch what he dreamt about holding. Her glassy amethyst eyes telling him that she was feeling everything he was too, that she was not as stoic and unemotional as she appeared to be.  

“Why Raven...After all this time, why?” He asked in a voice just above a whisper, a contrast from the loud volume his voice had just adapted to, not a couple moments before.

Raven looked at him and almost forgot to breathe with the sight of him in front of her. Every time she looked at him she could feel her heart beating faster, he was so devastatingly handsome with his deep blue eyes, which never wavered from her, a warm smile which illuminated her dark mood every time she saw it and his dark locks which she wanted to run her hand through.

But it was not just his looks which drew her in, it was his personality, the way he gained her trust, made her feel safe, trusted her even in her darkest hour, traveled to the fiery depths of hell with his arch nemesis just to get her become.

How would she not fall for him…

After denying her feeling for a quite a while, she accepted them and resolved to tell him but timing was not on her side. He had just gotten together with Kori, so she tried to move on, tried to disregard the hurt she felt every time she saw the both of them together but it increased with each encounter, it felt like somebody had shoved a dagger through her heart.

S0 she fell back into herself, avoided him as much as she could; tried to hide the hurt and the loneliness and she thought she was doing a good job of that but she couldn’t fool two people, Nightwing and Beastboy.

Nightwing, then Robin couldn’t understand why his best friend was avoiding him and he couldn’t help but feel hurt when he noticed her spending time with the green shape shifter who understood what she was feeling.

The changeling and the empath became unlikely companions, with him getting over the pain of seeing Terra again, who did not recognise him and Raven getting over seeing her best friend with the one she loves. Both were trying to move on.

Nightwing couldn’t understand the jealousy and hurt he felt every time he saw Raven hanging out with the changeling, spending time with him and giving him her rare smiles. He didn’t understand his feelings till he was caught by Cyborg who saw him giving a murderous look to Beastboy who was convincing Raven to try his tofu, both of them were laughing.

Cyborg explained to him and he realized that he was in love with Raven, he wanted to approach Raven but he knew that he had to talk to Starfire first, it would only be fair.

Fortunately Starfire understood and told him that she loved him but was not in love with him and that they would still remain friends, they both had needed to be together for a while before they could realize the difference of loving someone and being in love with someone; Tamaranians had a deep understanding about emotions, more than humans do.

He was grateful that he had a friend like her and after a lot of urging from her side he told her about his feelings for Raven and was shocked when she was delighted for them.

He wanted to approach the young empath but always held himself back in the fear of rejection; he thought that the empath was romantically involved and it was natural to assume so with the time they spent together also.  

So he opted for a way in which he would not have to fear her to reject his feelings and if she didn’t have feelings for him then he wouldn’t like a complete fool in front of his best friend and his friendship with her would remain intact without any weirdness.

The titans were moving on with their lives; new young heroes were coming in to take their place. Kori was going back to Tamaran for a couple of years; she felt a little homesick but promised to come back as soon as she could, Cyborg was now working with the League and Beastboy was staying back to train the new heroes.

Robin had donned his new alias, Nightwing with his younger brother taking his current one; he was moving to a new city and becoming a solo vigilante or a duo if she would agree.

He wanted to ask Raven to come with him, he knew that she was still pondering over what to do next and he hoped that maybe he could try for her to come with him.

He asked her with so much hope in his eyes that all the half demon wanted to do was say yes, drop everything and leave with him, the man she still loved but she couldn’t, she had promised the changeling that she would stay with him, her promise did not let her say yes to the man, her and Changeling had formed a companionship, he had been there for her when she needed someone and he had done his best to lift her spirits whenever she was feeling sad or whenever she saw Robin and Starfire together.

They were not romantically involved but the unlikely friendship that had formed between them did not allow Raven to abandon Beastboy, when he was alone; she knew that he was sad that everyone was moving on and this was time for her to be there for him just like he had been there for her.

So she declined Nightwing’s offer, leaving him with a broken heart and the assumption that she was dating Beastboy. He left the very next day, realizing that he was too late and that her heart belonged to someone else.

Over the course of a few years, Raven and Nightwing remained cordial with each other, they tried to move on and date other people but their hearts belonged to each other, only they both were stubborn and did not speak to each other about this, only taking each other’s whereabouts through their friends.

Finally Beastboy convinced Raven to reveal her feelings to the boy wonder and now here they were after she told him that she wants to go with him, if the offer he gave her 3 years ago was still available.

Nightwing was surprised by her change of mind, he was happy but the pain which had gathered in his heart in these years had come to his lips and he couldn’t stop them to be bare in front of the empath.

“Because I want to be with you.” She said taking a step towards him, not answering his first question; when all she wanted to shout was that she only wanted him and his love.

He took a step back, this action of his hurt her but she didn’t say anything; she knew how many emotions he had bottled up just like she had and it was important for them get everything out in the open before they move on together.

“Why now, Raven? Why not three years ago? When I asked you to come with me then?” Nightwing asked hurt from her rejection surfacing. A little anger also started blooming in his heart, angry that someone who was not him had her heart, angry that because someone else took his place.

“Richard I-” She started but was interrupted by him.

“Is it because I am your last option?”

She was a little shocked by his angry question, but before she could say anything more, he started speaking again actually not giving her time to reply.

“Why do you want to be with me?”

“Why, Raven?”

“Why?”

“Tell me!”

Before he could speak again, Raven angered by his question said in a loud voice “I love you! Is that what you wanted to hear?” Suddenly everything stopped, the storm of emotions surrounding them fell silent it was almost like they were the eye of the storm.

“Because if you did then yes, I love you Richard John Grayson.”

She was angry now and started taking walking towards him, who was standing on the other side of the room, her room actually, shocked by her confession; his brain almost crashed and it was taking time for him to process her information.

“I couldn’t come with you because my friend needed me, the one friend who brought me out of my shell, the one who was there for me when I was struggling with my feelings for you needed me…so tell me how could I abandon him.”

“F-feelings for m-me?” he asked, the information slowly seeping in him. His heart was bursting with joy and all he desired was to kiss her senseless but it seemed as if the rest of his body was slow to catch up.

“Yes, wonder boy I have liked you since I was 17.” She said blushing a little. He smiled at seeing her pink face and completed the distance between them taking her hands in his, losing himself in her amethyst eyes and asked “Why didn’t you tell me Rae?”

“You were dating Kori then Richard.” She said softly.

“I broke up with her because I realized that while I loved Kori, I was in love with you Raven.” He admitted softly while lifted her hands to place kisses on them, making her heart beat faster with his confession and her face turn red.

“Was?” She teased and his smile got wider, he left her hands only to wrap his arms around her waist while she squealed a little and placed her hands on his chest feeling his muscles flex, pulling her close to him, inhaling her intoxicating vanilla and lilac scent. He leaned down to look into her eyes and said with all emotion he could muster knowing that she would be able to feel them “I love you Raven…I am in love with you.”

“I am in love with you too.” She confessed earnestly, her eyes flashing with all the love she has for him. With that his lips came down to hers and white hot lightning surged through both of their veins.

The storm which came as a threat swallow them whole now become a witness to the union of two souls, two birds of one feather, who yearned for each other and now were finally one.

[threewaysdivided]

Leaving Canon Behind

If you’ve seen this post and this post and this post you probably saw this coming:

I’m officially unmooring Young Justice: Deathly Weapons from canon beyond Season 1.

I used to have some patience for Season 2.  I like a few of the new characters and, while a lot were frustratingly underexecuted and wasted their potential, I did think some of the ongoing character developments could be interesting.

But the more I think about it - especially with the context from Outsiders - the more unhappy it makes me.  I’ve though about how you might fill in the seasons, what would have to happen to get them to that point and reconcile the character inconsistencies, and it just feels so depressing.

Season 1 gave us a team of teenagers who wanted to prove something and did.  They made mistakes and butted heads, had insecurities and kept secrets but ultimately they learned to trust each other and communicate, and found a place where they could be accepted for who they were and genuinely make a difference.

But then the timeskip happens and when we come back, they barely feel like friends anymore.  They haven’t learned from the lessons of past seasons, they rarely communicate before it escalates to a fight, they don’t trust each other even when they have no reason not to, they rarely spend time together and the new characters have such little development, screen-time and chemistry with the old cast that it doesn’t feel like they’ve forged any genuine relationships, let alone ones strong enough to replace the bonds they’ve lost.  (Tim Drake is Robin because he’s Tim Drake in the comics and no time is given to his character or relationship with Dick beyond that - and the same for Jason, Babs, Cassie, Steph, Raquel and 90% of the newer cast who you’ll only understand or care about if you already care about them from somewhere else).  Somewhere along the way they all just drifted apart, went through so many terrible things that they broke, forgot themselves, forgot their friendships, forgot what they’d learned, and instead of healing or growing or coming together they came back so much lonelier and unhealthier and unhappier as people.

And then Outsiders makes it all the worse.  They again haven’t learned the lessons of the mole plot, none of them meaningfully communicate outside of arguments, Conner and M’gann never properly resolve their relationship-breaking conflict from the first timeskip, what happened to Wally is completely timeskipped over except for Artemis and Dick who mourn in the most trite, generic, impersonal way possible with no care given to who he actually was or the details of the relationships they actually had.  They don’t respect each other, don’t trust each other, don’t even really seem to understand, take the time to reflect on or try to know each other anymore.

Dick, Bruce, Kaldur and M’gann are at this point liabilities to the League; willing to distort and subvert their positions, misuse their power for personal gain or as they see fit, lie to the people closest to them, manipulate younger heroes, reduce their colleagues’ autonomy and deny them the ability to give informed consent, and avoid accountability for their own actions.  And considering how little the lessons from prior seasons have stuck in the past there’s no reason to believe they won’t do so again.  I never thought I’d reach a point where it feels like the heroes would be better off without the original cast.

Meanwhile the villains’ long-term plans are contradictory, unclear and incoherent.  They don’t destroy the League in Season 1 because they apparenlty “need them”, but then they don’t do anything to capitalise on their disorientation or further their plans for 5 years (except for Klarion taking a short side trip to do some magic-tablet shopping so that a poorly-rendered videogame can happen and they can retcon-canonise Kaldur’s father and Tula’s death), because they’re supposedly waiting on some uncertain alien arrival that ends up endangering the world they want to rule, but then in Season 3 they want to regulate metahumans and we see Klarion knows how to activate meta-genes with magic so if they already know about that then why not use Starro to frame the League and get that ball rolling in Season 1?  Earth already has a galactic presence so why do they need to rely on random, incredibly hard-to-predict aliens?  How on any planet does the uncontrolled abject chaos of Outsiders benefit their supposed “evolved earth” in any way?  It’s impossible to figure out the stakes and tension of a win or loss when no-one has personal goals and the final prize is so unclear.

In the end, this is a show about hopeful, promising, collaborating teenagers who grow up to be miserable, isolated, irresponsible, emotionally immature adults whose complete failure and refusal to trust or communicate with others costs them the very team they worked to create.  About increasingly underdeveloped, inconsistent, narratively interchangeable and uninteresting characters who you’d barely know were friends if the story didn’t insist it was so. About a world that’s getting worse and more volatile, less worth saving with each season.  About villains whose plan doesn’t make sense and who have only not been stopped because the heroes are so apathetic and unmotivated that they’ve never tried to proactively uncover or counter their long-term strategy.

A story that ultimately goes nowhere and says nothing, dragged out at the hands of creators who openly don’t want to give it an actual ending at all.  All the problems with Dreamworks’ Voltron and BBC’s Sherlock and Tite Kubo’s Bleach rolled up into one great crescendo of cynical, uncaring, wasteful narrative tragedy.

As a fan-author, I can’t bring myself to do this to these characters.  

I’m upset because I can’t do anything to change the course of canon.  I’m not a shipper, I’m not a theorist, I don’t expect specific things to happen... I just wanted some quality, some answers, for any of it to mean something.  But I couldn't even get onto their horribly anti-consumer streaming service to support it officially back when I still hoped for a turnaround.  I can’t make Weisman or Vietti or their creative team or the DC executives care about narrative construction, this story, or make them respect their audience and characters.  And at this point even if I could the show’s just too broken to salvage.

All I can do is take the parts that had potential and try to make something different.

[spartanbunjase]

Yesterday was Evil Author Day but I wasn’t in any state to participate. So, have some of my WIP today!! They are all Jason Todd centric and I can tell you now that only one of these is guaranteed to be completed as it’s a christmas gift for my little sister (Belfire on A03). 

Cantains: domestic violence, soulmates, bad parenting, different pairings, angst, fluff, good parenting, drug addiciton and recovery, LGBT+ couples, straight couples, trans characters, torture, good siblings, happy, character death (only mentioned).

1: As Catherine lay on the floor in a small pool of her own blood she could only feel utterly helpless watching Willis’ belt land on her son again and again. She wanted to get to him, to curl protectively around Jason and keep him safe, but she was too injured and knew she could end up dead if she intervened. Being dead would just put Jason at Willis’ mercy more often. The man wasn’t the same as the one she’d fallen in love with during her time at Gotham Academy. He’d been funny, carefree, adventurous, and handsome. Now, consumed by alcohol and drugs, he was a monster. He ran with criminals and regularly used Catherine to pay off his debts. Their current argument had resulted from her coming home and finding Willis about to use Jason’s body as payment. It was something he’d never done before, she knew from the utter terror radiating off her son as she’d stepped into the room. It was something she refused to let Willis ever put her son through. To Catherine, he’d thrown away any claim to their sweet six year old boy the second he laid a hand on him when the boy was four. Eventually Willis grew tired and stormed out the flat, probably to apologise to the dealer and convince them to return once Catherine was out of the flat. She wasn’t going to give him that chance. She was done letting him hurt her or her son. Jason was her world, he was the reason she’d cleaned up her drug habit and gotten a job as a bus boy at their local diner. Dragging herself up so she was standing, Catherine carefully made her way over to her son. He was bleeding from the welts and wounds across his back while she could already see a black eye forming. Catherine bent down slowly and gave Jason’s shoulder a gentle shake. He gave a pained whimper but didn’t move until he could clearly see it was Catherine and not Willis. “Come on baby, we’re getting out of here.” Catherine’s heart broke further as she saw the resigned look on her son. She’d promised him they’d leave so often but they’d gone back, he was clearly unwilling to believe her any more now than all the times before. She helped him onto his feet and led him to the door. It was only once they were out on the street that he spoke, “where we going Mama?” Catherine hadn’t thought that far ahead but as she watched Sparky their dog helping support some of Jason’s weight it hit her like a bolt of lightning. “We’re going to your grandparents. They’ve never actually gotten to meet you and they can keep us safe.” She saw Jason’s hand hold tighter to Sparky’s fur as he kept his gaze on the pavement. “Don’t worry baby, they’ll take Sparky in too.” The odd trio eventually arrived at Doc Thompkins clinic. Catherine knew she couldn’t walk Jason all the way across the city to the affluent neighbourhoods and Leslie had been trying to convince her to leave Willis for years. She had no doubt that the woman would help her and her family escape him. Catherine pushed open the door and ushered her son and their dog through to the waiting room. A nurse looked like she was about to refuse the dog until she caught sight of Jason and Catherine. The kind woman immediately moved the trio to a clinic room and went to get Leslie. “Jason, Catherine, what can I do for you today?” The Todd family had known Leslie since his birth. Her free clinic had helped them through when they’d been unable to treat Jason during a multitude of childhood injuries and illnesses. More recent years had led to the clinic treating the results of Willis’ temper and Leslie trying to help the woman and young boy escape. Catherine let her eyes travel over the room, constantly vigilant and fearful of Willis finding them. Finally sure they were safe she let her gaze lock onto Leslie’s. She’d never met the woman’s eye before, always too afraid of what she’d see reflected back at her. “We need help. My parents live in Bristol and I’m hoping they’ll take us in. They never liked Willis so hopefully they’ll let me back home now they see I’m done with him for good. At the very least, I hope they take Jay.” She was met with a calm patience that was pure Leslie once the woman got what she wanted from a situation; and in this case she had. “Auntie L, Mama said I’m going to meet my abuelos but I’m scared.” He had moved slightly closer to Leslie as Catherine had spoken and gave her sleeve a gentle tug. “They won’t be like Willis will they?” His voice was so quiet that Leslie knew Catherine would have missed the question due to the distance between her and her son. She felt a sudden urge to wrap the small, undernourished boy up in her arms and never let harm come to him again.

**** 

2: There isn’t much Jason can remember from his time as Robin. He can remember being friends with a handful of the younger heroes; most of them have since kept their distance. Returning from thirteen months of torture (and being declared dead) with different morals than your mentor and arguing with them in the Halls of Justice will strain some friendships…even if it has been over a decade since he was found in the abandoned wing of Arkham by the kid who’d replaced him. A few however had stuck around, stayed by his side, and aided his journey through the turbulent recovery of PTSD. Billy Batson had been overjoyed to have his friend back, to have back the one person who understood the Gotham foster care system and how fucking backwards it all is. He’d been one of the first people to visit the manor on hearing of Jason’s rescue; cheating his way past Bruce and Alfred with his magic just to see his friend. He’d remained; understanding the argument for what it was, a damaged boy begging his father to save him from his nightmares. During those early months Jason hadn’t remembered him, but Billy never held it against him. He used it as a chance to rebuild, to start fresh. They’d both changed in those months and he understood what violence could do to even the best of people; and to Billy, Jason had always been one of the best. His brother, Dick, fell into that selection of memories for Jason where he knew they’d had good times together but only the feelings remained. Only the lingering scent of happiness, childish wonder, and excitement remained. The memories themselves had been burned, beaten, starved, and just generally tortured away. The man was seen as the perfect older brother by the other members of the caped community (and even by Gotham’s press). For Jason, in the past decade, he’d been anything but. He’d only ever tried to push the family’s moral standpoint onto a person who quickly (and easily) reverted into that same terrified, scarred boy they found under the asylum just from mentions of his captor. Dick focused on keeping the other new siblings safe and happy. If that meant ignoring the second oldest of the Wayne children; well then, all the better as far as he was concerned. The oldest of the Wayne children understood, and had even studied, PTSD. That meant shit all when it came to applying it in practice. When it came to applying all he’d learnt for his roles as Robin and Nightwing he fell short of the legacy he created. Within a year of Jason’s release from Joker, Dick had certainly lived up to his name. The relationship between the two was frostier than any suit Victor Fries required. For the teenager the family got back, got into the safety of his old room, it was as it had been when he’d first been given Robin. As he didn’t have the visual memories to go with the positive feelings he’d attached to his older brother during those first couple of week it became increasingly easy for Dick to trigger a panic attack, or as was more common between the two, an all-out violent attack. Jason’s dreams, even during his time under the old asylum, occasionally give him flashes of green light, of shapes seemingly made out of thin air glowing in neon green. He’s been told that Kyle Rayner used to be a friend. Two young heroes finding themselves in roles with previous occupants helping them to forge a friendship. He’d kept his distance when he’d heard his friend was back. He’d pushed him further away once he saw the lack of recognition in those bright blue eyes. In the end he went so far as to cut contact with the teen completely once he saw the drastic changes during the nearly explosive argument with Batman. For where one had risen up to become an Honour Guard within the Corps, the other had fallen to a murdering anti-hero. One person however, had never slipped his memories. One person had always managed to keep an steel grip on his limbic system. While the Joker had tried desperately, along with help from the other Arkham inmates, to wipe every ounce of hope from Jason he failed to realise one thing. He failed to realise just how far, just how deeply, hope ran for the second Robin. The one person who the clown never managed to taint or use against him, was the one person that only a few of the hero community knew he knew. When the lights in his cell would go out, Jason would dream of flowing blonde hair. When Harley would try to convince him that she and the clown were all he had left, Jason would let his heart fill with a snorting laugh never letting the sound past his lips. When each of Batman’s main enemies took turns on the six month anniversary, Jason drew from the strength sun-warmed hands that used to clasp his with while running through the fareground. When Joker finally showed Jason the photos to prove he’d been replaced, the teen filled his mind with blues and reds of the one person who’d never replace him. Who, as it turns out, was the only person who didn’t replace him. With everything the Joker did, with everything the Joker had left him to deal with upon his release, it was Kara Zor-El who gave everything and reminded him that his faith in her was justified. For months the Wayne family had struggled. They’d struggled to fit their second child back into the family. There was the unconscious violence that accompanied trying to wake him from his night terrors. Often resulting in wounds ranging from a simple punch to a stab. The deep-seated fear and hatred of most of Gotham’s Rogues made them tiptoe around him when talking about the family business. They refused to ask, to understand, just why he resented the middle son of the Wayne house but could tolerate Duke, Cassandra, and Damian. In the end, the only solution to be found actually found them. Kara had heard Jason’s night terror start one evening not long after returning from a space mission with the Titans and hearing the news of the second Robin being found. Relief had flooded through her to her very soul. For ten months she’d searched, scanned all of Gotham multiple times with her x-ray vision and listening for any sign of him. Unfortunately there was just too much lead in the city. Too much interference for her to find him before being summoned for a three month off-world mission. She’d never forgotten the sound of his heartbeat though; of the changes it would make when he was happy, nervous, or just itching for a good fight. That first night back on Earth; when she heard the sudden changes, the increase in pace, she tuned into the almost silent whimpers he was letting out. Kara flew the fastest she ever had, abandoning the mission de-brief she’d been ordered to, and tore through the Manor like a Bat out of Hell (or an Alien invading). The alarms had been blaring. Batman and the kids were pulled away from patrol, all racing home with worry clogging their chests for the elderly butler and damaged boy left alone. Each of them had expected great hordes of people intent on harming the two members of the Wayne family who were seen as the weakest. Instead they returned home to a grandfather silencing them all and making them watch the scene he had been taking in peacefully prior to their outlandish entrance. Kara had made it up to Jason’s room just as he’d started to scream and thrash about. His limbs were still in casts, much of his body still in bandages or dressings of some form as he’d only been free a handful of days. The shock of black hair and familiar heartbeat moved her faster still. Within the blink of an eye one scared but joyous teen had pulled the other distressed teen into her arms. Almost as soon as her overly warm hands came into contact with his sweat-damp skin, Jason’s eyes flew open. He cut off a scream as blazing ocean blue eyes met overjoyed sky blue. Sun golden blonde hair framing the face like a halo. The hope. The strength. The only love that he’d managed to hold onto for thirteen months was finally back in his reach and so he allowed his body to sink into the warm embrace. It was the first night that the family discovered just how close the two sixteen year olds really were. Dick had long suspected that they were friends. Bruce had always avoided commenting, refusing to admit that both of his children were close with Kryptonians (even if one was a clone). As they stood watching they saw how quickly Kara calmed their wayward bird. Her fingers never stopped carding through his hair as her other hand was clasped as tightly as he could manage due to the bulky cast and pain. She was rocking him slightly, quietly singing a Kryptonian nursery rhyme.

**** 

3: Everyone was born with a mark, a mark that matched in design and placement with the person you were meant to have a deep relationship with. Be that platonic or romantic. Everyone that is except Jason. His mother had always told him it just made him special, that he would form deep relationships with anyone special enough to be in his life. Instead he spent his life forging relationships only to have them ripped away. There was his mother losing her battle with cancer. His best friend getting caught up in one of Mad Hatter’s schemes and never making it out. Then there was the father he’d found one cold night in Crime Alley. Jason thought he’d finally found what his mother meant all those years ago. He now had a grandfather, who he spent countless hours cooking and debating literature with. He had a father who taught him how to fight beyond that of street fighting but also helped him laugh again. Best of all he now had a brother who would take him skiing and help him prank their adopted father. Alas it wasn’t to last. Each of those relationships was destroyed by the one who wished his soul mark matched Jason’s father. The Joker took Jason away from Bruce, from the family he’d found. A crowbar here. An explosion there. It all came crumbling down in the Magdala Valley. One quick resurrection, a few years training, and one failed attempt at revenge later found Jason finally managing to rebuild those bonds lost to him at fifteen. It was what led to him chasing a behemoth of a man through Gotham trying to save Deula Dent. She was the daughter of the Joker from another Earth and, although she was related to a version of the man who’d killed him, he wasn’t about to let her die. Unfortunately, he wasn’t successful but it did lead to a very interesting set of circumstances for the twenty-two year old. With Donna Troy, a woman he’d once considered a sister, and Kyle Rayner at his side he found himself travelling through the multi-verse. They’d been to countless versions of their own planet. They’d met evil versions of themselves and their mentors. They’d gotten caught in Victorian Gotham. They’d even ended up on multiple Earths where they were the opposite gender to how they presented. It had been a tiring journey. Jason had found himself having a small crush on the Green Lantern accompanying them. Flirty banter was met with fierce resistance. Kyle, for reasons Jason still didn’t understand, seemed convinced that he wanted Donna instead. Now Jason wasn’t picky. He was attracted to a person regardless of their gender, or even if they were human. To Kyle it just meant that Jason was even better placed to scoop Donna out from under him. As the trio, along with their Monitor Bob, landed on Earth-11 it became apparent that they’d ended up on another Earth where the genders were reversed. A fight was clearly happening and so they set off to help in the hopes that Ray Palmer may have been somewhere nearby. Jason’s combat boots pounded through the streets. His breath was coming harsher than usual as an unexpected pain was shooting up his left arm. It had started as soon as they’d breached the atmosphere. The only way he could describe it was as if someone was stabbing him between the radius and ulna over and over again. His arm was held protectively to his chest as nothing he’d done had relieved the pain. He’d twisted his wrist and shoulder around. Simple stretches had turned more and more complex. Nothing was working. A green construct lit up the sky, quickly being followed by the Lantern creating it. Jason’s gaze lingered on the woman in question and the pain subsided slightly. Kicking his body into action his legs pulled him towards the battle faster. “If you’re going to act like children then you’ll be treated as such.” The female Green Lantern said while scooping up some of the Amazon warriors. Jason will deny it to his dying day but that was the moment he felt his heart skip a beat and love start to bloom in his heart.

**** 

4: When the news of the massacre at Sanctuary broke throughout the hero community Jason felt horrifically guilty because he felt such relief. A few weeks before it all happened Roy had been speaking with Waylon about entering rehab. He’d been intending to go to Sanctuary as it was set up by the Trinity for all those in the community that needed help. However, the archer didn’t want to be in the middle of nowhere or too far away from Jason. The ginger archer had raced into Gotham two months prior to save the stupidly impulsive ass of a crime lord. As soon as he and Jason were back together they had a massive talk about how their relationship parted last time. It soon became clear that Jason’s own insecurities had wiggled their way so far into his brain that he pushed Roy away. Once they’d finished their talk they quickly fell into their old routine. The relationship was moving as if they’d never been apart for over a year. They were able to support each other but Jason was able to see that Roy needed more help than he could provide. As the case with Suzie Sue was drawing to a close they started to talk about Roy’s options. Sanctuary had been top of the list, until Roy realised just where it was located and more importantly how little was located around it. In the end, with the help of Oliver, they were able to get Roy into AtoT Centre in San Diego. When Oliver heard that Roy was struggling again he managed to step up and help. He knew that the level of help Roy would need was clearly above what he could provide if Jason was struggling to help him. With this in mind Oliver offered to foot the bill for any length of stay Roy needed, along with helping Jason rent a flat nearby. The AToT Centre were able to fit Roy into one of their San Diego drug rehab homes that house six patients. He agreed to a ninety day stay so long as Oliver refused to tell him the price. Jason agreed with Roy’s instance as he knew that if Roy found out that it was $65,000 for the initial thirty days and then $2,000 for every thirty after that he would have refused to go to such a highly rated place. They allowed Roy to keep his phone so he could be in contact with both Jason and Oliver, which settled all three men. Roy had been at the centre for fifteen days when the news of Sanctuary broke. He had received a text from Wally telling him that he was okay and had made it out. Unsure of what the text had meant he’d immediately phoned his ex-mentor and (trying again) father figure. The blonde archer had gently told his son how the patients at Sanctuary had been attacked and that the current suspects were Booster Gold and Harley Quinn. He also reassured Roy that Wally had managed to get away fast enough, running straight to his Aunt Iris in Central City. 

**** 

5: There were a few things people could expect to find on the streets of Gotham. Bristol had people who spewed money and corruption all in the same breath. If you wanted to get your rocks off, or buy some, you’d head to the East End. Joker goons could be found roaming around Amusement Mile while a couple of the buildings around the Solomon Wayne courthouse were decorated in two halves both on the inside and the outside. One of the things that you wouldn’t expect to come across is a literal goldmine. Jason learnt all of this while he still had a home near Crime Alley. It’s something that has been drilled into him even more during his six years on the streets. So, it comes as a massive surprise to the fifteen-year-old when he finds The Batmobile parked in the alley. He had three tyres off when two shadows fell over him. Glancing up a jolt of freezing cold fear shot through the underweight teen. He’d slipped into a fighting stance naturally, his tyre iron held tightly in a white knuckled grip. When you grow up in the Narrows you have no choice but to always choose fight over flight. He’s shocked out of his fear by a deep throaty laugh. “The fuck?” Slips out before Jason can clamp his mouth shut. Of all the reactions to someone booting your tyres he’d never heard of someone laughing. “You’re a spunky one aren’t you.” Robin, now Jason’s had a chance to take in the recognisable costume, said with the same level of amusement in his tone as Batman’s laugh. He glanced over at his mentor and Jason took in the silent conversation they had. The Bat crouched in front of the small, dirty street kid. “You want hot food and a warm bed? If so, we know someone who owes us one.” Throwing up an eyebrow, Jason takes a step back. His stomach is desperately empty. His mind is fuzzy. His adrenaline from the theft is waning and he knows he can’t hold the tyre iron up much longer. “Ya wouldn’ wanna help some’n’ like me. I ain’t normal.” His thick accent makes them pause. If you weren’t raised in the area, then there is always a slight difficulty in translation. It’s made a bit more difficult for people to understand Jason as his Narrows accent is also intermingled with a Latinx twist from his Mámá. It was something he’d heard his whole life. Don’t mind Jason, he’s not all there. Don’t worry about the kid, he ain’t normal. Fucker, all I do for you and you can’t act like all the other boys. Jason knew, after hanging around with the same group of lads since he could walk, that most young boys dreamed of being Robin. They talked animatedly about how cool it must be to wear the red, yellow, and green while kicking the shit out of people. They all lusted after Batman and Robin’s sometimes partner Batgirl. None of the other teenage boys Jason grew up with wanted to be Batgirl. None of them dreamed about how empowering it must feel to pull on those four-inch, purple boots and not have them holding you back from doing the same things as Batman and Robin. “Well we’re not normal either.” Robin chuckles. “No normal people dress up like we do and fight crime.” Jason had to admit that the sidekick has a point. In the end his overwhelming need for sustenance crowds out any other nervousness he could be feeling, so he reluctantly agreed. Jason helped them put the wheels back on as best he could with his hands shaking. He could blame the cold. He could blame the hunger. He could blame the two heroes of Gotham helping him more than he was helping them. In actuality, the reason his hands were shaking was the knot of Narrows fuelled anxiety over the chance of them finding out just how abnormal he was. It takes Jason a week to figure out that Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson are Batman and Robin. He spends a few days coming up with a plan to get them both to admit it. Both men are underestimating how sneaky and clever the street kid can be so don’t see everything coming together until it’s at its conclusion. They both try to play it off. Try to pretend that Jason hasn’t guessed it all correctly. Try to pretend that Jason hadn’t caught them in the lie. In the end they tell him everything because Alfred cuffs them both upside the head. The trust both men show Jason in opening up about their pain. The very events that triggered their need for the mission, cements something in him. It solidifies the tentative strands of trust that was between them. The fact Dick was so willing to come to him when he woke up a few nights later with nightmares of falling so he had someone to sit and watch crappy 80’s movies with. The fact Bruce tells him exactly why the Batmobile was parked in Crime Alley that night, the significance of the date. It all goes towards helping Jason realise that maybe these three people are the very people he needs to talk to, to trust in. Even with all that swirling around his mind. Even with all the little ways they’re showing him they want to be his family. The fear engrained in him from years of his father and the other men around the Narrows keeps his mouth shut. He fights through each day, just as he always has; only now the fight is different. Whereas before his fight was for the basics needed to survive. The hunger. The cold. The general desperate need to make it to the next day. Now his fight is different. He has food. Warmth. Safety. He has people who check in on how he’s doing, how he’s feeling or settling in. He has people who care. Now the fight is to keep how he feels about his own body, mind, and soul from spilling over and corrupting one of the first good things this city ever gave him. The dark of night, when Jason knows for sure both Dick and Bruce are out and Alfred is in the cave, is the only time he lets his mind wander into the Fort Knox style vault he keeps his dreams of being more like Batgirl and less like Robin. It’s the only time he lets out the complicated rubber band ball of thoughts and anxieties to try and sift through them all. It’s the only time he willingly thinks about the two people who had started trying to help him untangle all he was feeling.

**** 

6: 

.It had been ten years since Jason returned to Gotham, ten years since Ra’s had dunked his lifeless body into the Lazarus pit to bring Jason screaming and clawing back into existence. In that time things had changed greatly, but not Gotham, Gotham remained the seething hub for all criminality in the country. Jason had long ago given up on ever thinking that Gotham could change, it just seemed to attract the worst of humanity or ever worse, spawn it. Still Jason vowed to continue fighting just on the off chance that Gotham might one day see the light.Jason flicked the butt of his cigarette into the fading light, a singular point of dulling light against the encroaching black of Gotham’s night. The almost permanent blare of police sirens echoed through the streets and up into the skies, only serving to remind Jason just how far they hadn’t come since he pulled on his first pair of green pixie boots. He clambered to his feet, resting his arm on the head of his favourite gargoyle and looked out over the city, wondering where the night would take him. Suddenly his com sparked into life. “Batgirl are you receiving?” Batman was a staple of Gotham now, one of its defining characteristics, even if his mission had failed on every aspect.Still Jason found it difficult to hear Batman speak, knowing that Bruce no longer held the mantle. Batman had fallen to Damian a few years back once Damian had aged into the role, filling the shoes of his father had left empty when he died. There had been a time before Bruce’s death that he and Jason stood apart from each other, separated by their moral compasses, but ultimately in Bruce’s final moments he had made up for all the bad blood between the two of them. Captured once again by the Joker, Jason had found himself in a similar situation to his first death, only this time the Batman arrived early.Bruce had beaten the joker to the ground whilst the bomb counted down, seconds remained when Bruce attached the grapnel line from the Batwing to Jason’s harness point and sent the Batwing soaring off into the sky. Fire and death consumed Bruce and the Joker, the more powerful nature of the bomb vaporising any trace of the hero and villain. When Jason came to in the Batcave he remembered Bruce attaching the cable to his waist and the words he spoke to him. “I’m sorry Jason but I won’t let him take you again. I know we’ve had our troubles, mostly because of my stubbornness, but know this now. I love you.” The family had accepted him back with open arms but Jason struggled to come to terms with his father’s death for quite some time.“I’m receiving Batspawn, I’ll be operational in twenty, see you at RV foxtrot.” Stephanie Brown may not be the first or the strongest Batgirl, but in Jason’s opinion she was the best. They had both come from similar backgrounds and had bonded over their shared life experience, add in to the mix that Jason aged differently that other humans thanks to his dip in the pit and they were roughly the same physical age now so they had unofficially made themselves siblings. Steph’s voice sounded different to Jason, he wasn’t hearing it over his com unit. He craned his neck round and sure enough there she was, stood silently behind him.“Why’d you always have to sneak up on me like that?” Jason mumbled grumpily. “Holy shit someone’s in a bad mood!” Jason had caught her off guard, their relationship a lot more playful that this current interaction. “Ahh fuck, it’s the eighteenth ain’t it?” Steph asked to which Jason simply nodded his head. Bruce’s anniversary always sucked for Jason but for some reason this year, their seventh without Bruce, was hitting Jason harder than before. Steph sidled up behind Jason and wrapped her arms around his chest, he rested his spare arm on top of hers, enjoying the warmth coming from her. “You wanna talk about it?” Steph asked gently as she released her arms and climbed around the other side of the gargoyle.Jason pulled out another cigarette and lit it in rapid succession. “Naa. Don’t even know what to say really.” As Jason exhaled a stream of smoke shot into the night air, the sky now more black than it was red. “Well why don’t you come with us on patrol tonight, we think we’ve got a lead on Pyg.” Jason simply pointed to a rooftop that was several stories lower than their current position, on top of it was the partially strung up body of a failed dollatron and next to it in a pool of his own blood and brain matter was Pyg. “Jason, did you?” Steph looked over at Jason and saw him waving around a sniper rifle that she hadn’t noticed before. “Okay then, well that throws my night wide open. Wanna go get something to eat, ya know, after getting changed?”Jason took a long drag on his cigarette, considering Steph’s idea. “Yeah alright, let’s just wait until Gordon’s boys turn up to collect the bodies.” Jason said flatly. “Cool, I’ll let Bats know we’re offline tonight.” Steph activated her com. “Batgirl to Batman, you receiving?” There was a moments silence before the channel sparked to life again. “Receiving.” Damian replied tersely. “No need to go ahead with the sting tonight, I’ve got eyes on Pyg and I don’t think he’d going to be hurting anyone else ever again.” Steph tried not to giggle but she knew how much Damian hated vague reports.“Goddamn it Batgirl, was this Red Hood again? He’s there with you now isn’t he? Hood what have you done; you know that isn’t how we do things. How many times did father have to tell you!” Jason pulled his helmet fully off and hit the power switch. “Fuck he sounds worse than Bruce did sometimes.” Jason quipped before taking a long drag on his cigarette then flicking it once more into the night. “Hey at least you don’t have to work directly with him, I’m stuck with the little brat!” Steph laughed but Jason knew she was serious. After Bruce’s death Damian had become even more zealot in his quest to become his father and claim his blood right, the cowl.“I’ve told you before, you’d be more than welcome on the Outlaws. Personally, I think Artemis would like it more than I would, she’s crushing on you hard dude.” Steph smiled and laughed, it was good to hear a more upbeat and jovial tone to her brother’s voice. “As tempting as working with my brother and finally getting myself a girlfriend is, I belong in Gotham. Besides, someone’s got to keep Damian in check since Alfred quit; although I don’t blame him.” Steph sighed then snapped into another chain of thought. “Oh Alfred sent me a message the other day, asked me to ask you about Dick?” Jason looked curiously at Steph, throw off by the bizarre question.“Why doesn’t he ask Dick himself, his number hasn’t changed?” Jason asked but Steph gave him that look that only younger sisters can give their older siblings. “You know you’re the only one from the family that he speaks to anymore. He even stopped sending birthday cards to Alfred last year. We’re all worried about him, this self-isolating behaviour can’t be good for him.” Steph now looked worried and Jason supposed he could understand why. Bruce’s death had hit Dick hard too and he’d left America all-together not long after the funeral. He now lived in Europe with Wally and their six adopted kids. He was happy but done with the lifestyle, shutting out all aspects and now, apparently, all the family bar Jason.“He’s okay, spoke to him today for an hour or so. He’s feeling pretty shit like me, but Wally’s got Iris looking after the kids and they’ve gone for a holiday out of the country together.” Steph smiled at hearing Dick was okay but was then distracted by movement on the other rooftop. Gordon, and handful of unis and the CSIs had arrived to cordon off and catalogue the scene. “Come on then.” Steph said to Jason, trying to be as upbeat as possible. “Let’s go eat!”

[shadowdianne]

Prompt: Regina stops Emma and Hooks wedding.

Thanks for the prompt anon; hope you like it 😉

Also @stregaomega, look :P You said somethingabout liking this scenario??

Full disclaimer: WhileI’ve watched the entire series -or rather many scenes- more than a few times inorder to always be as accurate as possible with certain things the wedding isthe only thing I’ve refused to watch aside from the single time I did it backwhen it was aired. So the details -of placement, clothing etc- are hazy at bestand invented at worst. Apologies for that xD

“Do you really want this?”

Regina barely moved her lips as she asked thequestion, eyes trained into the woman in front of her; the one she had walkedin after promising Snow she would have her ready by the time David was supposedto walk her down the aisle. Now, as she stood in the room at the blonde’shouse, she straightened her posture and run her hands down her upper thighs,not nervous but tense as she felt magic beginning to coil and writhe inside herstomach.

It wasn’t solely the wedding what made herthink of the world outside; the impending battle that seemed to be about tofall down also mixing up with her power in the form of unpleasant trickles ofexternal magic that made her swallow thickly. Emma’s silhouette, however, wasalso a reason why she found herself probing her teeth with the tip of her tongue,nervously pressing it against them in a vaguely formed pain-like tension shewas happy to fall into if it was solely to be able to ask the question she hadjust made.

She hadn’t been thinking on asking it, however;she had tried to shove any doubt and betrayal-like vortex deep within her;buried beneath the other many times she had thought, she had wished, thateverything would be different. Yet, Emma’s white gown had been a drop she hadbeen unable to contain inside a far too full glass. Feelings sloshing,splashing, dripping, she now sighed as Emma stared at her; eyes widened andalmost blue in the way they reflected the static that begun to coat the verywalls that surrounded them.

If Emma had been recognizable on the dress shewore, Regina thought, wincing inwardly, perhaps she would have been unable tovoice a question she had been thinking about ever since she had hugged Emma;ring a presence that had made her choke on her own saliva; struck by lightingand bones disintegrating.  The woman thatwas staring back at her, despite everything, was just a shadow, a ghost, awraith, a presence, a look-alike. One that couldn’t even compare to the womanRegina knew that must still be beneath the far too princess-like dress. Onethat, while could have fitted a very different woman, felt like a costumerather than what it was supposed to do.

And it was painful, Regina considered as thesilence between them elongated to a point in where it felt about to burst andbleed, it was painful to see such destruction, such disfiguration of a womanshe would give everything to keep free and away from any decisions that wouldstirp her down of any possibility of deicing for her.

“Regina.” Emma’s answer was just as pained, andRegina glanced away while purple began to trickle down her neck, hercollarbones, into the clothes she wore; mixing with the threads and conferringthem a shimmer that made her pause.

It was an almost sigh, a plead, and Regina feltthe weigh of the word selfishsettling on her shoulders; the burn marring her skin while she rose to her fullheight; addressing the younger woman with curving lips and tired eyes.

It was as far as she would ever dare to go,after all. They both knew as much despite how much Regina resented herself,resented them both, the simple fact they were, at core, cowards. Pure cowards,the kind of ones that would save each other, sense each other with the barestof glances; confide in each other as they choose to remain tied to anunofficial never made admission of something they knew it wasn’t a figment.

“Just asking.” She replied, heartbeat a staccatoagainst her ribs, on her temples. It was a reply more fit for the younger womanin the sense of how vague it felt; lead-like weights settling on her back, onher stomach, stopping her from saying something else, something much moreaccurate or true. “Your father is going to be here in a few minutes. I willhave Zelena and myself be on the lookout.”

It was better but still not enough. They hadn’ttruly ever talked about how Emma’s mind was a turmoil. One she could sensebeyond the façade of quiet smiles that never quite illuminated the blonde’spupils. But she guessed they didn’t truly do such things. They fixed and workedtogether once something broke. Never before. And so, she tilted her head andlooked at the woman that stood in front of her; her shadow sharp but small onthe room’s illuminated floor. As if, she guessed, it had been cut and reworkedinto something that would fit the dress and the vows and the ring that sheglanced at with stinging eyes.

Emma nodded at that, her mind elsewhere andRegina felt her nails against her skin, over the clothing of the skirt shewore; sharper but dulled by the barrier.

“Thank you.”

There was very little else she could say, verylittle she was allowed to, that they were both allowed to, and so she smiled -abarely grimace- before she turned to leave.

“Do I look like I don’t want it?”

The question hit Regina’s back, thousands ofpossible explanations and reasons breaking in million pieces, traveling up anddown her spine as they cut and slashed.

If this was the only out the blonde would askfor she didn’t know if she could follow suit. If she even wanted or knew how.Yet she turned back and took into the way the blonde’s right hand was outstretched,as if about to ask her to stay. Between her fingers, dirty-white magic pooled andfloated away; ozone enriching the air.

She looked fragile in a very different wayRegina knew that would have been healthy. Devoid of spark, of strength. She hadseen the blonde as a princess; cut off what she would have called her “saviorqualities” and yet that hadn’t really hurt as much like the fact Emma was askingfrom an outside out rather than taking it for herself.

Had she been a willful participant of that? Reginaignored it, but her chest still felt heavy, her skin prickling with heat. Shewas about to walk closer to the blonde; grasp her hand between hers, maybe,when a knock at the door interrupted them both. Moving as if she had beenshocked, Emma moved her hand away; the follow-up cold realization leavingbehind a very bitter taste at the roof of Regina’s mouth.

“Are you ready?” The voice that came floatingthrough the door was David’s and Regina’s ear picked back up the sound fromoutside the room; the way the entire Storybrooke seemed to be holding itsbreath.

It was too late; she told to herself as shewatched as how Emma swallowed, eyes leaving Regina and back to the door;jittery and confused.

It had been too late back when she had huggedthe blonde in front of her, marriage a word that kept on burning on her brain. Ithad been too late, and she didn’t have any weight on a conversation that shouldhave been done back when there was something to truly say to one another.

She opened the door and let David walk inside,not truly looking back; not able to do so.

She sat next to Zelena’s side and smiled atHenry; whispers around her dulling everything but the magical guards she feltbeating faintly against her with the caress of a conjoined magic she alreadyfelt missing despite it still being close enough to touch.

She hadn’t fallen in love quickly. She hadn’tbeen her younger self; full of naïve belief on stories her father had managedto sneak in when her mother wasn’t looking. It had been slow, silent, one wordand action at a time. Yet, she had been robbed of her breath the moment she hadrealized what her need menat, the strength of it all, that always seeped insideof her whenever Emma defended her. Whenever the blonde herself was in peril.

They had never talked about it; not even whenEmma had come back and there had been far too many things in a missed year thatshe wasn’t even sure how to start to explain. But she had seen Emma’s eyes onher at Robin’s addition to the group; the way gentle green turned sharp and callous.She had done the same against the man that now stood at the end of the aisle;unable to not list the reasons why she wanted to tear ever limb from his torso.And maybe because Emma had always looked at her with a warning glaring whiteand grey, she had never followed suit.

But there had been moments when she had wishedto do so; to grab Emma’s shoulders and ask her, scream at her, kiss her, pushher against the nearest wall and feel her. And there had been other momentswhen she had seen the same wish reflected back at her in a way that had madeher stop and consider how much they would truly be able to push lines that feltblurry one moment, steel-like the next.

They never had had the opportunity to followsuit though. She told herself as much when the whispers began to die; Emma walkingdown the aisle. They could have had it. But they never took that step.

She would have, she would have done it back atCamelot. For the longest of times she had even thought that could have been apossibility she wasn’t remembering. But it hadn’t. And she felt tired now;angry at herself.

She considered on leaving but that would gathermore attention to something that didn’t exist and so she stayed put; eyesunable to look at Emma, at her figure, as she positioned next to him; his eyesalmost smug.

Regina managed to remain silent for the nextfew minutes, her magic building up, calling for Emma’s as the blonde’s turned palerand paler; as if the power itself knew it was about to lose something of theluster it had even further. Escaping like glass beads through a riverbend,Regina tried to grasp the few threads of friendship she shared with the blondediagonal from her. If only for her own sake.

When they reached the vows, however, she closedher eyes in a slow, far too slow blink, as she felt the muscles on her legstremble and answer to a command that she didn’t remember to have given.

There weren’t any whispers this time but silenttension, the kind of one she consciously blocked as she felt Zelena’s eyes onher; on the way the glimmered in the proud way that made her bite her bottomlip. He looked angry at Emma’s other side, but she didn’t stare at him; notreally bothering with such a thing anymore.

When her voice rose, however, it wasn’t perfectnor pristine but cluttered with a breathiness that made her press her righthand against her side; commanding her lungs to work.

“Do you really want this?”

It was futile, she knew, and she had justbrought upon herself what she had just promised herself she wouldn’t. Therewasn’t a conversation, nor questions, to have at this point. They had burnedthrough those bridges time and time again. And perhaps it was exactly becauseof that, because of how Emma had refused to tell her she wasn’t in a vision; asif that meant something, as if her eyes, widened and scared, didn’t hauntRegina’s own nightmares.

Or perhaps it was because, despite everything,she was still just as selfish as her other counterpart had been.

It was too late, though, to walk out of thesituation, words had been said and Archie had stopped, jaw dropping in asimilar fashion the brunette was sure Snow was mirroring with a similar of herown.

Then love again

She had tried that, hadn’t she? Not with theblonde in front of her but with the man that had been written as her soulmate.She had tried, and she had almost succeeded. If it wasn’t because, every time,she would have given everything, in order to ensure Emma’s safety. Emma’shappiness.

She had said as much to Gold, had vowed to iteven with dark thoughts rimming the edges of her brain.

“What do you think…”

The pirate stopped when Emma put a hand on hisshoulder and Regina felt herself starting to break. She had done more than sheshould have. She knew and saw as much.

Emma’s eyes were the green of emeralds by thetime Regina focused on them, the dress still calling forth a woman Regina knewthe blonde was not but her eyes so purely her that the brunette forgot the factthat they were in front of all Storybrooke citizens.

There was a flush on the blonde’s cheeks. Apink-colored spot that grew and traveled down, below the cut of the dressRegina would happily turn into something more like the red and white paletteshe had always associated Emma with. But she still looked afraid and doubtfuland Regina saw as her hands tremble; dirty white pooling down, liquid almost,in the way they pour.

She can’t do this.

But she has.

And then, just as slow, Emma’s back straightened,and her head shook.

Once, twice.

No.

[takeyourcritique]

Makoto Niijima: Good Girl, Bad Writing.

In video games, movies, TV, and books, there are always characters who receive copious amounts of praise. In Persona 5, it is no different. Some characters deserve the hype they get, and some.. do not. In my humble opinion, Makoto Niijima falls into the latter category and in this essay I will explain why, as well as delve into what I as a writer would do to improve her character. Because this is not a hate meta, it is merely me articulating my issues with her character and getting my thoughts in order. (She has potential, it merely needs to be utilized and with P5R coming next year, a girl can hope.)

1. Underwhelming Design

The cast of Persona 5, in contrast to the casts before them, are vigilantes, a band of misfits if you will. The entire theme of the game is rebellion against society and fighting the norm, and the characters should reflect this in their design. The only exception is the protagonist himself because he's on probation and attempting to keep a low profile: that's why he follows the dress code to a tee and appears as gentle as possible, because he's already in enough trouble as is. The first party member, Ryuji, has been a rebel for a good amount of time: his hair is a stark blond (which Kawakami-sensei does not approve of) and he wears a very casual version of the school uniform; substituting a bright yellow shirt for the white of the uniform, wearing sneakers instead of dress shoes, and not wearing his suspenders (they're attached though, at the waist).

Ann Takamaki wears a white clover hoodie under her blazer, red leggings under her skirt, brown lace up boots, and earrings; not to mention her hair, while a natural blonde, is pulled back into cutesy pigtails almost like a teenage Harley Quinn. Yusuke doesn't even go to the same school, so his attire stands out in stark contrast with the main trio. Futaba dyes her hair red and she doesn't go to school at all due to severe anxiety; Haru wears a poofy pink sweater over her uniform with Mary Janes and polka dot tights. They all stick out like little sore thumbs. Except Makoto. She basically also follows the dress code, with a few subtle changes:

•She doesn't wear a blazer, instead wearing a black halter vest over her turtleneck

•Black tights

•Brown boots

That's literally it. Nothing about her stands out, and even in her casual clothing she wears a lot of whites and blacks. There's a monochromatic vibe to her, perhaps alluding to her strong sense of justice and distinction between right and wrong which in and of itself isn't bad! But it doesn't fit with the theme of the cast, Makoto fits in too much with the rest of the world to fit in with them. Just by looking at her, you cannot tell she's supposed to be part of the crew and in all honesty she'd fit better working with Akechi due to their very similar views of justice and morals. Hell, some NPCs are more vibrant design-wise than Makoto is.

2. Her Metaverse design, Persona and codename are contradictory.

Makoto's Persona, Johanna, is based most likely off Pope Joan, (after doing research online and reading Johanna's profile on SMT wiki it seemed the best fit) who was a woman that pretended to be a man in order to rise to power in an otherwise male-only role in the Catholic church. And while the story is intriguing, it doesn't fit Makoto at all: she never pretended to be what she was not and while she's "the voice of reason" she's not the leader of the team; Joker is. This makes her codename, "Queen", even more confusing. Nothing about her costume design looks regal whatsoever; it makes no sense. It feels like writer's favoritism, in all honesty. A better name would've been something more related to the fact that she looks like a biker/executionist hybrid; like "Crusher" or something of more..violent nature.

Even a name related to her wanting to go into the force would've worked well: Chief, Lieutenant, etc. Queen is nice, but it doesn't click with Makoto at all, unlike literally everyone else's Persona and codename. Ann's Persona, Carmen, is a femme fatale that kills men. Captain Kidd is a pirate, an iconic symbol of rebellion; Milady, Haru's Persona, is a reference to a villainess of the same name in the 3 Musketeers; Goemon was essentially a Japanese Robin Hood which fits Yusuke's entire kitsune/warrior aesthetic. Joker's Persona, Arsene, is a direct nod to Arsene Lupin; who was one of Sherlock's rivals and a gentleman thief who left calling cards to the people he robbed and a direct parallel to Akechi.

3. Her introduction as a whole, and to the team, is abysmal.

When Makoto is first introduced to the player, the entire school is in turmoil over Kamoshida's abusive actions towards the volleyball and track team. Many people don't know the truth about what's going on, and others simply turn a blind eye because as an Olympic medalist, the gym coach brings in a lot of popularity for the school. Being the student council president, Makoto has power that many other students do not have; so one would assume that upon learning that a victim was in danger she would spring into action, no?

Wrong.

When Ann confronts Makoto about her inaction, she turns the question back on the blonde, asking "What have YOU done for Shiho?" as if it's Ann's fault that Shiho had been jeopardized (which it was not, Ann allowed herself to be blackmailed by Kamoshida in order, so she thought, to protect her best and at the time, only friend). And she doesn't do anything about the situation, claiming that "It has nothing to do with me." (This is how abuse victims DIE.) Even worse, her elder sister is a prosecutor, she could've easily gone to Sae and asked her to look into the matter. Goro Akechi later calls her out on this, as he should; telling her that she is a "good-girl pushover". And when Kamoshida is punished for his crimes, Ann, who was bullied and outcast, goes to Makoto and apologizes to HER to make amends, as if she were wrong. Makoto then replies "We both made mistakes" in a sorry apology (she doesn't even say "I'm sorry" iirc), and asks if she can call Ann by her first name and without honorifics, which in Japan is a symbol of close friendship. (Edit: this apology actually takes place after Kaneshiro's arc, not Kamoshida's, I misremembered.)

You see, calling someone by their given name, even if you are the same age, has a ton of meaning in the culture. Just a year difference between two people can separate them as senpai and kouhai, and while the senpai can call their kouhai by their first name without raising any eyebrows it's not the same for the younger person. Calling someone by their given name in Japan is a privilege, not a right; it represents trust, respect, everything that Makoto and Ann did NOT have.

Now, let me get this straight.

Makoto did nothing when everybody called Ann Kamoshida's hoe, allowed her, Shiho, Akira, Ryuji and Mishima plus many others to suffer abuse (and Shiho attempted suicide!), gave a laughable apology, victim-blamed Ann; and now she wants to be buddy-buddy? What, in any reality, about that is okay? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. But of course, because the writers want us to love Makoto, they have Ann forgive her and let her call her by her first name. And after all that, Makoto is still president, despite her clear nonchalance to the matter. She also does nothing to help the Kamoshida victims after his crimes come to light, when there was literally no excuse anymore not to assist them and help them get back on their feet. Even if she felt powerless with Kamoshida around, that doesn't explain her inaction after he's gone.

Flash forward two Palaces later, when she joins the team. Makoto stalks the protagonist around to gather evidence that he is a Phantom Thief, and then blackmails her way into the ranks. The team of course, is not happy about this at all. Makoto gives them the target; Junya Kaneshiro, who's basically forcing people into debt. The problem here is she has literally no personal ties to him; unlike the main trio all having connections to Kamoshida and Yusuke being Madarame's essential foster son. Tired of Sae calling her useless, Makoto jumps in front of the mob boss's car in desperation (and Ryuji gets her out of the way JUST in time, but he very easily could've died) which puts the entire team in danger and later on is literally pinned down by the mob and the crew have to go and save her because she was so determined to take this dude down she walked into the lion's den without any form of a plan. (He was also going to sell her into prostution to pay off the debt he'd given the Thieves.)

Her Awakening is also really weak: the speech from Johanna is extremely short and then Makoto stomps the ground to avoid falling over, rips off her mask with a bunch of overdramatic screaming (iirc we don't even get to see blood) and whoop-di-doo, she's got a motorcycle! And suddenly, despite all she's done, everybody loves her and thinks she's a total badass when she literally just threw an adult-sized tantrum. The motorcycle itself is also very lazy, it's just a motorcycle with a face. That's it. That's Makoto's Persona. A motorcycle. With. A. Face.

And from then on, everybody's suddenly a-ok and buddy-buddy with Makoto. It's ridiculous and just makes her come off as a Mary Sue because if somebody endangered my life I sure as hell would not be rubbing shoulders with them and I'm quite sure most people feel the same way. And again, after all this, Makoto does not get in trouble or even harshly reprimanded by the school for her extremely reckless actions; when she should have, and had the power to, just call the police or Sae. And all the Thieves somehow are now her friends and she gets to become a superhero.

So let me see if I understand. This girl stalks these people, blackmails them and forces them to go after hardened criminals (she was going to snitch on them if they didn't comply to her demands), goes in guns blazing by HERSELF to attempt to take down the mob boss, has to be rescued..

And gets praised and dubbed a badass for this???

And before you accuse me of having bias against Makoto, let it be known I in no way, shape or form condone Yusuke stalking Ann or Futaba blackmailing the Thieves either. It's. Still. Wrong.

Also, if you unironically think Makoto's stalking is cute, you're wrong. Stalking is creepy, regardless if it's a girl or guy doing it; no one gets a pass.

In addition, Makoto couldn't be bothered to help out at school but then goes after a MOB BOSS and puts herself in unnecessary danger? What's up with that?? If she felt powerless against Kamoshida, why in the world would she take on the Yakuza?

4. Her backstory doesn't mesh well with the rest of the team.

The gang are all outcasts and misfits in one way or another, and their pasts are less than savory.

Protagonist: Falsely accused of assaulting a woman, expelled from school and sent to Tokyo on a year probation despite his innocence, victim of nasty rumors by other students at his new school; abused by his gym coach, no contact with parents.

Ryuji: Abusive, alcoholic father who beat him and llater left him and his mother, abused by his gym coach, leg broken by his gym coach and labeled as a delinquent because his coach lied and acted like Ryuji attacked him, thus alienating him from the track team and by extent; the entire school. Losing his track scholarship because he can't run anymore, ruining his academic career.

Ann: Two parent household but they're never home, leaving her with a caretaker. Faced bullying and isolation due to being biracial (she's a quarter American), only having one friend before joining the Phantom Thieves. Blackmailed by the gym coach and sexually harassed in order to keep this one friend on the volleyball team, labeled as a slut because no one took the time to find out the truth of the matter. Friend is later raped and attempts suicide, Ann attempts to get help from the student council president but is blamed herself for Shiho's predicament. Also judged just for her looks, which she despises.

Yusuke: Biological father died presumably before his birth, biological mother had a seizure and died due to his mentor's negligence. Said mentor then takes Yusuke, a very small child at this point in time, and raises him in isolation. Psychologically (and very likely emotionally) manipulated, Kitagawa grows up in an abusive household and when confronted with the truth, is unwilling to believe it is so (as many abusive victims realistically behave). Later learns the truth about his mother and his mentor's plagiarism and detaches himself from him, but is extremely socially awkward out of touch due to isolation and as a result is isolated at school because no one wants to talk to him.

Futaba: Was blamed for her mother's death (whom she lost at 13-14) and lived with an extremely abusive uncle who underfed her and didn't even let her bathe herself. Developed severe anxiety and became suicidally depressed for over a year, refusing to even come out of her room. Had a friend who was abused by her parents and upon finding out the two fell out and only reconciled years later through the Internet. Bullied in school for her intellect.

Haru: Lost her mother at a young age, engaged against her will to an emotionally abusive, selfish fiancé for the sake of her father's company. Has deep-rooted trust issues due to people being kind to her solely because of her status; or mean for the exact same reasons. Later on lost her father as well at the age of 17, leaving all the responsibility of the company to her as she was the sole heir.

Morgana: Has no memories of who, or what, he used to be and suffers existential crises; suffers from vivid nightmares. Puts up a façade of arrogance to hide insecurities.

Makoto: Mother died when younger, father died in the line of work, older sister forced to become caretaker and work her rear off to provide for the both of them. Pressured into perfection by Sae.

That's.. literally it. Yes, she has no friends at school, but that's by her choice; she isolates herself in her studies and as a result is socially awkward and doesn't know how to interact with people (which makes her even less suitable to be put into any type of leadership position so how she became student council president is beyond me.) Makoto's life is heaven compared to the other Thieves and most of her issues would go away once she gets to college: the rest of the team doesn't have that luxury. By the way, please don't think I'm saying she doesn't deserve to be on the team because she doesn't have as deep a sob story, I'm not saying that at all. It's just that her backstory isn't really utilized as well as it should be and often times conflict is used to try to get the player to feel sorry for her (i.e. Sae calling her useless)

5. Her Confidant is abysmal and cliché.

So Makoto's Confidant actually starts out not half bad! You take her out to play video games and help her come out of her shell initially. But then it shifts to Eiko, an old friend of hers, who is a bad relationship. And this is when the Confidant begins to suffer, because it's not even about Makoto anymore. The president tells Eiko about the danger she's in, and her old classmate does not listen; declaring that since the older girl does not have a boyfriend she couldn't possibly understand. This logic is very flawed; it's like telling a smoker to stop smoking and they tell you "You don't even smoke, you don't know how bad it is". Yet Makoto listens to Eiko and comes to you, the protagonist; and asks you to pretend to be her boyfriend in order to convince her friend that she DOES understand. But it's so awkward Eiko's boyfriend and the girl herself can tell you're not genuine. And you have to keep this up for the rest of the Confidant, not to mention MAX Charm is required from Rank 5 onward in this route. Why?

Because apparently you're not attractive enough otherwise. And it's not even for Makoto, it's for Eiko, to convince her that you're hot enough to compare to her boyfriend; Takase. (Geez, shallow and childish much?) And then at the end of the Confidant, the romance angle comes off as very odd because you're literally treated like an afterthought the entire time and then suddenly Makoto turns around and wants you as her actual boyfriend?? Uh..where was her falling for you during the time spent together? It just feels like it comes outta nowhere, not to mention she wants to be a cop which the law literally ruined Joker's life soooo why is he getting into a romantic relationship with someone who wants to be associated with a source of his trauma? That's like a metaphorical slap in his face.

"Hey, I know you were literally beaten and drugged up, manhandled, falsely accused and put into solitary confinement by the law enforcement, causing you to suffer severe anxiety and you to possibly be scarred forever but I wanna be a cop even though I don't think straight in stressful situations and act on impulse and don't take insults or criticism well; and I want you to stay by my side even though I blackmailed you, stalked you, and endangered your life and did nothing while you were being abused by your gym coach."

(Let's not forget she also didn't say anything about Sae having a Palace until it was almost too late and Joker almost lost Futaba as a result.)

For Valentine's Day she declares "I've been waiting for you for so long" and that genuinely bewildered me because you don't really see her pining at all during her Confidant, nor during other events (the closest thing you get is her clinging to you in Sojiro's house but that's honestly not even romantic that's just her getting frightened and needing assurance in a very unnecessary "ship tease" moment). Same with the scene in Futaba's Palace, while Joker saving Queen was very sweet, he literally would've done that for anybody of his teammates. Makoto is not special in that regard.

6. How to better this character

•Introduce her to the Thieves in a better, more plot driven way, or remove her from the team completely.

Kaneshiro's arc should honestly just be scrapped, it was a sorry attempt to get Makoto on the team. A better time for her to join would be Sae's Palace since she actually has emotional ties to the Palace owner and by this time in the game could've developed to be a better person from the Kamoshida arc, wanting to make things right. This could also be a good start for her and Ann to begin to be on better terms- not even necessarily friends (because after what happened I honestly don't think Ann would want to be friends, at least not close), but learning to at least be civil. That, or she joins out of desperation because she doesn't want anything bad to happen to Sae and as the infiltration continues gets more and more nervous and ultimately rats their plan out (because Makoto as the traitor would be much better, writing-wise).

Alternatively, Hifumi joining instead of Makoto would also be very refreshing with Makoto covering up for them at school and supporting them on the sly.

•Treat her flaws as actual flaws, she's not perfect.

Makoto does have some bad traits, a few being:

•bad tempered

•reckless

•stubborn

•nosy

•hypocritical

•bossy

•socially awkward

But these are almost never treated in a negative light. With the Kamoshida arc and Kaneshiro arc, all is simply forgiven, same with her smacking Eiko across the face in a moment of anger. Even when wrong, Makoto is never wrong per say and this makes it difficult for her to be believable as a character. To fix this, having her suffer the consequences of her actions will make it more realistic. For example, getting Eiko to break up with her boyfriend but cutting ties with her too as a result would give Makoto the rude awakening that you can do the right thing the wrong way and people will not always forgive you for the mess you put them through (nor should they).

Her being punished for unnecessarily putting herself in danger with Kaneshiro would also be understandable (she should've been at least suspended, she could've gotten herself killed, plus all the then existing Phantom Thieves); as well as actually apologizing for the hell that was Kamoshida's drama. And not just to Ann, but everyone who suffered. That would show maturity and a willingness to change, and put her in a better light.

I want Makoto to get mad and she's fully in the wrong and she acknowledges she's wrong, have her recklessness get her or a teammate wounded in battle, etc. And have the others call her out when she's wrong and refuse to let it slide. Have them talk it out, grow as a team. Just..make Makoto fallible, flawed, broken even. She's an orphan, I want to touch more on her having to grow up quickly, feeling lonely and unsure of how to connect with people; talk about how her father is a driving force in her values and morals and how she wishes to honor him by following in his footsteps.

Delve into how she feels less than worthy if she does not achieve excellence but do it in a way that does not demonize Sae unnecessarily and try to make the reader/player feel sorry for her. Have Makoto spend more time with people in her team outside of team duties and while being awkward, genuinely interested and actively working to better her relationships. (She barely interacts with anyone besides Joker, Futaba, and on occasion, Haru) When Makoto is realistically flawed, she then becomes relatable and much more likable.

I want her fears to be plot relevant, not just slapped on for the sake of making her look "cute". Her being scared of the dark was never relevant, unlike Rei from Persona Q who was scared of the dark and had to go through a pitch black room in order to find key cards to help her friends escape a locked room or Yukari being terrified of death and having to come to terms with that. Same with her fixation for Buchimaru, it's cute but it doesn't add any depth to her character whatsoever or even her apparently knowing aikido? We never see Makoto fight outside the Metaverse unlike Chie or Akihiko so it feels like a character trait just slapped on to make her 'cooler'. It feels lazy, because it is. It's like the writers wanted her to be this strong, independent young woman but at the same time a scared, awkward little girl and the two ideas often clash; coming off as contradictory as if they couldn't make their minds up as to who they wanted Makoto to be.

Again, this is not an attack on Makoto fans. If you like her, that's valid and I respect that. I'm merely explaining why I don't and how I feel the writing failed her character and what I believe she'd be if her potential was maximized.

That's all, have a good day.

[mubal4]

Birthday Throwback

 This picture was taken 3 years ago, today, during a Spring Break trip to Mexico.  We celebrated Alaina’s birthday down there, her 11th, and today, we celebrate her 14th.  Crazy, wickedly, wild.  The cliché is “hard to believe our youngest is 14.” She is and is wise beyond her years; in many ways that is good, and she is also a lot like me; God helps us all 😊!  She smiles a lot these days and considering the circumstances we are all living, that is awesome.  However, Robin and I believe she is certainly in her “comfort zone.” Alaina doesn’t have an issue with spending her days, maybe taking a run, doing an hour soccer workout, and then, spending a “healthy” amount of time catching up on your Netflix shows or binge-watching unfathomable amounts of Grey’s Anatomy. Yeah, she’s adjusted very well to the quarantine over the last month 😊.  Interestingly enough though it seems that there have been some friendships that have grown over this time too.  Maybe absence makes the heart grow stronger but not being able to see her friends every day, in person; this may be “forcing” them to have actual genuine conversations?  I mean, what else is a 14-year-old going to do in this situation? Sure, would love for her to pick up a few books and just read away for an afternoon but, being engaged and growing some of those friendships will go a long way heading into her freshman year next year.  Now, is she conscious of this happening? Probably not but spending hours Face Timing or on Zoom calls with her friends, teammates, and classmates, sharing in this experience together, realizing none of them are alone; who knows? Could go a long way to build strong bonds going into and incredibly challenging and enormously fun time of life……High School!!

 My belief is that school will be starting up in the fall, August for us, and Robin and I will have a Junior in Isabella and Alaina will be a freshman.  I spoke with my mom yesterday and she found it hard to believe I had a 14 year-old; well, many people find it hard to believe I am a father in general but, 😊, I kid but I am sure some thing that 😊.  My mom’s point was just how fast it has gone.  And it has gone fast.  Robin, the girls and me were having Easter dinner yesterday and Alaina herself said, “these two years in AZ have flown by.” They most certainly have. This trip to Mexico, 3 years ago, seems like a week ago.  I was just remembering this time 2 years ago when we were working on closing the sale on our house back east and going through inspections on this place here in AZ. I called this blog a throwback, but it is like we are just “throwing in back” two days ago because these memories are so fresh in my mind.

 That is positive.  When I am able to sit back and reflect on my memories of Alaina these last 14 years, what is most prominent in my mind is how many times we’ve shared so many laughs together. Let’s step back though and remember, her and I are very similar; therefore, we bash heads a lot and we can be sarcastic to one another and take it too far.  We do fight and we to challenge one another.  We can frustrate the hell out of each other too, but I will say, and I hope, I believe, she can say this about me too, but she makes me better. She makes me realize that I may be being an ass and I need to step back a bit.  She tests me, not to be a smart ass, well, maybe sometimes to be a smart ass but she certainly challenges me to be better.  Not just a better father but a better husband, and person.  She can be questioning, not disrespectful but curious. It can come off as her being wise, I do the same thing, but she really wants to know why?  The why’s can continue to come too so I’ve learned how to be better in helping her in these teaching moments; and they are teaching moments for both of us.  

 But the laughter, the smiles, and funny moments – there are a lot of them, and they are consistent.  My favorites are when we are joking and having fun and there is that “thing” that makes us go nuts to the point she is laughing so hard it is difficult for her to breath and there are tears coming out of her eyes.  That moment she looks up at me with tears of laughter and that huge smile on her face; maybe it is weird but that is heartwarming for me.  Fills the soul with joy you know.  There were many more of those “cute-funny” moments when she was younger but now, she is becoming a young woman.  Still has the sense of humor but my dad jokes aren’t as funny as they use to be, so I am working on better material these days 😊.  Easier a few years ago 😊.  These next four years, well, these next four months will be interesting, in many ways for all of us, globally.  But, these next four years for Alaina will be fun, and interesting to see how she grows. It will be fun, challenging, frustrating, scary, and I can guarantee you, tears of laughter.  It will be a fun ride and I know there will be some amazing stories to tell.  Until the next one…..

 Happy Birthday Alaina – thanks for making your dad smile as much as you do!! 😊