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#the slowest slow burn in the world
54625 · 10 months
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their dynamic
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morbidinlove · 5 months
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i am in dire need of a good angsty kbms fic
like give me some of that lifespan difference stuff with a bit of a "fear of having to watch your loved one die"
give me some of kabru being there for mithrun the whole time while he's healing and the end parallel being mithrun taking care of kabru when he grows old
give me some of "mithrun was kabru's whole life while kabru was just a chapter in mithrun's"
give me mithrun never getting over kabru, even when he reclaimed his desires and found a way to live and enjoy life, he never forgets or gets over the person who enabled him to do so
i want mithrun to grow soo sentimental and sappy that it scares the rest of the canaries bc why does the captain care that a short lived race is... short lived...??
because the rest of them haven't had kabru smile at them while making them soup okay
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eggs-can-draw · 2 years
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Naegi is Just A Little Guy Tee Em and Komaeda is fun to draw
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quitedisastrous · 1 year
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milkwail and condorscratch regularly rotate in my mind. gay cats.
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bloodfin · 1 month
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actually got words out of my brain and into the doc today
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bro-atz · 3 months
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the better man
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in which: your roommate and your college friend both have feelings for you.
pair: college student!san/college student!afab!reader/college student!mingyu
word count: 14.8k
content: slight angst, a lot of drama, nicknames (cutie, baby), slow burn at the beginning, smut (obvi), jealousy, competition, cat vs dog, three different smut scenes omg, slightly drunk make out sessions, oral sex, (filthy as fuck) threesome, double penetration, safe sex, completely consensual!
rated: R | nsfw — minors do not interact
author's note: thank you @k-hotchoisan for helping me with the development of this entire fic! ilysm <3 also ik this fic is long as fuck but i couldn't help myself... two of my ults in the same fic? you bet your ass i'm going to make a whole kdrama! so grab your popcorn, sit back, and enjoy this insane ride (with the slowest burn of all time)
another world masterlist
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YOU have had so many people tell you that you should never live with your friends because it'll ruin the friendship, but you and your best friend moving in together was honestly one of the best decisions you had ever made in your entire life.
San was the perfect roommate for you. The two of you balanced each other out well, and he was always super protective of you, which was nice because if you were ever in a situation where you needed rescuing, San was right there. The greatest part was that he didn't have feelings for you.
What you didn't know was that San had some feelings for you, but he chose to ignore them.
And one of the greatest things about San was that he always stayed up late if you were out with friends. He always made sure you came home safe. After all, roommates are supposed to be there for each other, right?
"Sannie, I'm home!" your voice echoed through the apartment. After hearing the words leave your mouth, you giggled, then said out loud, "Sannie sounds like honey..."
San, who was sitting at the kitchen countertop, looked up from his laptop, then looked at the time blinking on the stove clock. Two in the morning wasn't bad at all considering how drunk you were. San got up from the barstool and made his way over to you, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched, with slight amusement, you struggle to take your strappy heels off.
"Someone had a good night," he commented, a playful smile tugging at his lips.
You went to look up at him, but you lost your balance and nearly fell over. Luckily, your roommate was there to catch you and help you keep your balance while you took off the other heel with a huge sigh of relief— your heels were killing you.
"I had a great night," you corrected him while stumbling through the threshold and into the living room. "Our club meeting was boring as hell, so I suggested we go to a bar and get a couple of drinks... One thing led to another, and I totally won at darts!"
"Really? You didn't take someone's eye out?" San couldn't help but snort 
"You underestimate me, my dear friend."
You flopped into the smack-dab-middle of the sofa, San following you shortly thereafter into the living room. He at first remained standing, only to sit when you patted the empty space next to you. You hummed softly as you brought your limbs back together and rested your head on your roommate's insanely broad shoulders while he wrapped his arm over your shoulders. It was almost second nature at that point; San was so used to you being an affectionate drunk that he automatically prepared himself for you to cuddle into him.
"You're definitely going to have a hangover tomorrow," San said softly as he rested his hand on your forehead.
"Of course I will... But you'll be here to take care of me, so I'll be fine," you murmured while closing your eyes.
San couldn't help but smile. He rested his head on top of yours and listened to the sound of your peaceful breathing, thinking you were asleep. However, you were just resting your eyes, because seconds later, you were moving your head from his shoulder. You stared blankly at your roommate, your eyes running over all of his features. San looked at you with mild concern the longer you stared.
"What? Do you need to throw up?" he asked.
"No, that's not..." you trailed off.
You lowered your gaze and noticed a stray piece of lint on his chest. You picked the lint off then smoothed out his shirt, your hand brushing along his defined chest a couple times. Mindlessly, you rested your hand on his chest. Your hands were a little too numb from the alcohol swarming your system, so you (luckily) couldn't feel San's heart rate elevating.
"Have I ever told you how pretty you are?" you asked as you began to draw lazy patterns along his chest.
"Every time you drink," San responded with a slightly annoyed sigh; he didn't like when you called him pretty. He didn't need a more masculine term or anything, but there was something about the word that icked him out.
"You're so much cuter up close... Like a cuddly bear... Or a Maine Coon..."
"A Maine Coon?"
"You're like a kitty cat, but you're so big... So you're a Maine Coon... You're my Maine Coon."
San's heart completely skipped a beat when you said he was yours. He was used to you saying things like that when you were sober, but this drunk version of those words were a little different this time around. The way you were looking at him, the softness in your voice— it brought the feelings he had buried for you right up to the surface.
"You definitely need to get some sleep," San chuckled awkwardly, trying to deflect whatever the hell was going on between the two of you.
"I know, I should... But I want to stay like this a little bit longer," you admitted while resting your head on his shoulder once again. "You're so soft and warm... Like a big cat."
"Really? I had no idea. It's like you didn't just say that," he replied sarcastically, making you look up at him with furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips.
"Don't make fun of me, Sannie."
"Okay, I'll stop. But seriously, I think you should go to bed now."
"Not yet. I still wanna cuddle."
Slumping his head in defeat, San let you settle into him a little more. With his free hand, he instinctively brushed your hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear, his fingers lingering on the edge of your ear for a second too long. Subtly, he moved his hand away and rested it on the curve of your waist— horrible idea on his part— his fingers grazing the slightly exposed skin from your shirt riding up a little too much.
Every single movement from him made you feel even hotter than before. Your fingers and toes tingled, although you couldn't tell if it was him or the alcohol, but something definitely stirred within you. Your heart thrummed against your chest as the confidence from the alcohol started to speak for you.
"San," you whispered, lifting your head to meet his gaze.
"Yeah," he responded in the same register.
"Don't hate me for this, okay?"
San didn't even have time to question you. You brushed your lips against his with a feather light touch, your eyes fluttering open as you looked into his eyes. They were wide with shock, but they were also sparkly and beautiful. So you closed your eyes again and pressed your lips against his again and again and again, each kiss getting more intense than the last one.
San's mind went blank. His body moved on instinct. He pulled you closer and tangled his fingers in your hair as he deepened the kiss, the two of you holding onto each other for dear life because the world was spinning too fast.
You parted, breathless and slightly dizzy, but you felt great, nay, wonderful. Honestly, you were addicted, and there was nothing else you wanted to do that night but kiss San.
So you did. All night.
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YOU woke up the next morning groggily and feeling like the world would explode if you did so much as breathe. Your head was throbbing— thank you, hangover— and regret filled every single cell of your body because that morning, you woke up to see San sleeping in bed with you.
Nothing happened the night before. Well, other than the kissing, nothing happened, and you knew that nothing happened because for one thing, you and San were still fully clothed, and you also started sobering up while you were kissing San that night and remembered everything. You remembered the way he held your waist, the way his fingers slid up your top, the feeling you got when he stopped kissing your lips and moved to your neck, the way he made you feel so...
So wanted. So sexy.
You sat up and held your pounding head, the arm San had resting on your waist slipping out of place, making him grunt slightly. His face, so relaxed and serene before, changed when he furrowed his eyebrows and frowned slightly. His eyes fluttered open, and you immediately averted your eyes while trying to figure out how you were going to play the situation because the events of the night before were definitely going to ruin your friendship with him, and you wanted anything but that.
So you decided to play dumb.
"Morning," San's low, groggy morning voice sent tingles down your spine.
"M-Morning," you squeaked out despite clearing your throat before talking and playing the blackout card. "Uh, what are you doing here?"
"I think you invited me," he chuckled, propping himself up on his elbow. "Well, you dragged me in here, actually."
"O-Oh... I... I don't remember..."
"I figured as much."
Huh?
"You were pretty drunk and giddy... Shit, maybe I shouldn't have kissed you," San's face paled slightly when he realized the gravity of his actions.
"W-We kissed?" you badly wanted to reassure him that the kiss was consensual, that you didn't regret kissing him— because he was an amazing kisser and you regretted ruining your friendship more than anything— but you still had to play fucking stupid.
"We made out... A lot."
"San, I'm so sorry," you spoke carefully to validate his actions. "I was really drunk, and you know how I get affectionate when I'm drunk, so don't feel bad. Also, I don't feel violated, so you're okay."
"You sure? Because I definitely fucked up—"
"It's okay. I promise."
You hoped that your definitive statement would be enough for him to take and run with, and after a moment of silent contemplation, San nodded his head. He sat up and kept his head bowed, and your heart stung a little. It was like watching a guilty cat, so you couldn't help but pet his head like he was a fucking cat.
"W-What're you doing?" San asked, the man lifting his head to reveal the pink blush that had spread across his face.
"I guess I'm petting you," you couldn't help but laugh. "There, there."
"Please tell me you remember some of last night."
"W-What do you mean?"
"You called me a Maine Coon."
It took everything in you to not burst out laughing because you totally remembered saying that— and you stood by your word.
"I kinda remember saying that..." you admitted slowly.
You were able to laugh when San chuckled, the tension leaving your chest. You were so relieved that San was acting like his normal self, that he didn't seem bothered by the fact that you didn't remember the night before.
San was extremely bothered. He wished you remembered because, goddammit, last night was so fucking amazing, and he wished he could take your relationship a little further.
"I'm gonna go make breakfast," San announced as he got off the bed, leaving your hand midair because you were still petting him. "Do you want any?"
"No. I think I'm going to sleep until my head stops hurting, but thanks," you faked a yawn.
"Alright. Get some rest."
With that, San closed the door. You laid back down in bed and covered yourself with the duvet, guilt gnawing at you like anything. You had to lie to your roommate just to preserve your fucking friendship. You sighed deeply and sadly as you stared at the ceiling.
You ended up turning in your bed to go back to bed because you really did want to sleep the headache off. Your eyes landed on the empty space next to you then trailed over to the pillow San was sleeping on. Tentatively, you brought the pillow to your chest and buried your face in it, taking in San's natural scent.
You instantly regretted it. He smelled amazing. So amazing, in fact, that your entire body reacted to it.
"Shit," you whispered to yourself as you felt your arousal pool in your panties.
You shouldn't have done it, but you reached down in between your legs, and while you let San's scent surround you, you pleasured yourself.
No wonder people said to not live with your friends.
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YOU didn't mean to avoid San for several days after the incident. You just got really busy with club activities. You were on the e-board, and since festival season was coming up, you had your hands full with a lot of the planning— literally.
"Shit, shit, shit," you cursed as the pile of flyers in your hands started to waver out of place.
And, of course, all the flyers flew from your hands, the papers scattered on the ground in the hallway. You uttered several profanities under your breath as you started to collect all the flyers.
"Hey— Woah, what happened here?" a familiar voice rang out behind you.
You turned around and sighed loudly, conveying your annoyance to your tall friend.
"Mingyu, help me out with these, will you?" you asked him.
Nodding, he crouched down and began helping you pick up the flyers. After you got all of them, you ended up forcing him (technically, he would've helped you regardless) to help you carry them to the club room.
"I would ask you how you dropped everything in the first place, but I get it because I've done it before," Mingyu chuckled and attempted to fill the silence between the two of you with some sort of conversation.
"I just don't understand why we can't have our own printer in our club room," you grumbled.
"At least with the print center, they'll fold the brochures, staple packets, and turn the pages into a bound booklet for us."
"...Okay fine. Then I wish our club room was closer to the print center. I still don't get why our room is at the far end of the floor."
"At least we're on the same floor—"
"Okay! I get it! Stop justifying everything and let me complain!" you cut him off before he could explain the other side.
Mingyu laughed loudly and kept his lips zipped until you got to the club room. Hopping up on the table, he watched you organize the flyers on the table— he would've helped, but the organizing was definitely more of a one person job.
"Hey, I have a question for you," he started.
You hummed in response while keeping busy with your task.
"Are you okay?"
"What do you mean? Of course I am."
"No, like, you seem a little off lately."
"What are you talking about, Gyu?"
"Did something happen at home? Between you and your roommate? Because I haven't heard you talk about him for a while."
You froze. You didn't want to freeze because you didn't want Mingyu to know shit about anything between you and San and especially because you didn't want anyone knowing what happened between you and San.
"I'm right, aren't I?" Mingyu leaned towards you. "Talk to me about it."
"Everything is fine," you said after clearing your throat and resuming your organizing task.
"Yeah, right," Mingyu said sarcastically and rolled his eyes. "I thought we were friends and that you could share any of your problems with me, but I guess you don't see me as a friend..."
You knew Mingyu was intentionally trying to guilt trip you and get you to spill on the events that happened several nights before, but you weren't going to fall for his tricks. Not at all.
"Buddy," you grabbed Mingyu's cheeks with one hand. "You are my friend, but I'm not telling you shit because nothing happened. Got it?"
"Then why are you acting all suspicious? You're totally hiding something," Mingyu mumbled through his lips since you were still squeezing his cheeks.
Letting go of his cheeks, you exhaled deeply, planted both palms of your hands on the table and looked him dead in the eyes before lying your ass off. "Look, I got really drunk one night, and I said some things to him that I shouldn't have said. He said it's fine, but I still feel bad. Okay?"
"Damn, okay, you don't have to be so aggressive about it," Mingyu finally backed off.
"Sorry, but it's just been... It's been bothering me."
Everything that happened with San really was bothering the shit out of you— you kept thinking about San in very sexual manners before going to bed every single fucking night, but there was no way in hell you were going to tell anyone that you wanted to fuck your roommate.
"You should talk about it with someone. You know I'm always here to listen," he said softly while placing a gentle hand on your shoulder.
"Thanks, Mingyu. I appreciate it."
Finally, he let the topic go, and you got back to finishing your organization project. After everything was set in place, you and Mingyu ended up leaving the club room together. The entire walk down the long hallway and to the elevators as well as the elevator ride to the building lobby consisted of Mingyu teasing you and making you laugh, your worries about San melting away.
When you exited the building, you nearly tripped over your own two feet, Mingyu catching you.
"You're clumsy as fuck, aren't you? First the flyers, now this," Mingyu teased as he got you back to your feet.
"Shut up, I'm just tired."
Still, to make sure you weren't going to fall again, Mingyu had his arm over your shoulder. Even after you reached the last stair, he still had his arm around you.
The sun was setting by the time you left the building that day, so when you looked ahead and saw a figure before you, the figure looked absolutely stunning and breathtaking surrounded by the orange and red hues of the setting sun. It wasn't until you got closer to the figure did you realize who it was.
"San—" you were about to ask him what he was doing there, but you forgot that he always walked you home from campus that day because he had a class around the same time as your club meeting. "Have you been waiting long?"
"Not really," he shook his head.
You watched him open his mouth to say something, only to stop.
Why was that guy's arm over your shoulder?
"Oh, Mingyu, this is my roommate, San. San, this is Mingyu. He's the treasurer," you introduced the two to each other, suddenly realizing that this is the first time they're meeting each other.
"Nice to finally meet you," Mingyu dropped his hand from your shoulder and held it out for San to shake.
Finally?
"Nice to meet you, too," San suppressed the urge to furrow his eyebrows in confusion and instead plastered a picturesque smile onto his face.
"Alright, well, thanks for the help, Gyu," you waved to him as you left his side and walked towards San. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Bye," Mingyu waved back. "Get home safe, you two!"
When you got to San's side, you felt him wrap his arm around your shoulder. He did that all the time, but this time around, you felt electricity jolt through your body. The last time you touched him was when you were incredibly drunk, and the touch you had been craving every single night since then was finally there, nearly sending you spiraling.
"Hey, I have a question for you," San snapped you out of your thoughts.
"Huh?"
"What did he mean when he said finally?"
"Oh, that." You felt yourself return to normal when you explained, "I talk about you all the time to the other club members."
"What?" San was a little taken aback. "What do you tell them?"
"I mean just like normal roommate things like us watching movies, or you making food for me or the other way around. Normal roommate things."
San nodded, accepting your explanation. To keep the horny thoughts away, you continued rambling about the members of the club to San on your way home, his arm eventually slipping from your shoulder. And you continued talking to him normally when you got home. He didn't bring up the fact that it had been a while since you talked, and you didn't point it out either, so everything was falling back into place.
Normalcy. Finally.
Or so you thought. You couldn't stop thinking about the way San had his arm wrapped around your shoulder, and you spent another night regretting your sinful thoughts over your roommate.
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SAN didn't like Mingyu from the moment he met him. He had no reason to not like him, but there was something about the way he was with you that rubbed San the wrong way. Maybe it was because Mingyu had his arm around you so familiarly and because you never ever told him about Mingyu until the night San met him.
He also didn't like how much time you were spending with Mingyu. He knew that you had club activities, that you were preparing for the festival and that you and Mingyu would be working together a lot, but he still hated it. It wasn't like San was your boyfriend or anything, so it shouldn't have bothered him how close you were getting with Mingyu. But Mingyu would carry you home after you had one too many drinks, and seeing the way Mingyu would touch you so familiarly made his blood boil just a tiny bit.
He especially hated it because everything had changed between the two of you after the night you got drunk and kissed him. He felt like it was his fault, that he shouldn't have kissed you when you were drunk even though you reassured him that it was okay and that you didn't remember. There shouldn't have been a reason for you to be avoiding him, but that's just how it felt for him lately.
One night, Mingyu brought you home again after you went drinking with the club, irritating San slightly. You stumbled into the apartment, leaving San with the taller man at the entrance to your apartment.
"Thanks for dropping her off," San said politely but curtly, trying to get Mingyu to leave.
"Oh, will we see you at the festival tomorrow?" Mingyu asked.
"Yeah."
Honestly, San wanted to be petty and say that he might not be able to, but he didn't want to risk you overhearing and telling him that he must come and tell Mingyu that he would definitely be there. At least with a simple 'yeah', San could get out of it if he really wanted to.
"Cool. See you later, then," Mingyu said with a smile before waving and leaving.
The fake smile on San's face dropped immediately the second the door closed. With a heavy sigh, he trudged over to the living room to see you lying on the couch face up, your arms outstretched for him.
"Sannie!" you giggled. "Come here."
San couldn't help but listen to you when you called him like that. He approached the couch but remained standing, making you frown. You sat up and pursed your lips, your cutesy act making San lose his goddamn mind.
"Are you mad at me?" you asked while sulking.
"No, I'm not," San replied and shook his head.
"Then gimme a hug!"
You knelt on the couch and hugged your roommate, San's arms delaying slightly when he hugged you back. You rubbed your face into his chest before letting out a happy sigh as you rested your head on his pillow of a chest.
"You're so comfy..." you murmured. "And you're so pretty... Have I ever told you how pretty you are?"
"Every time you drink," San rolled his eyes.
You leaned away from him— he was being short with you, and he knew that you knew that.
"Tell me what's wrong," you said as you cupped his cheek.
San grabbed your wrist lightly and moved your hand from his face. He would've entertained you a little more, but based on the developments of his relationship with you over the past couple of weeks, he was losing his patience rapidly.
"Nothing. You need to sleep," San replied.
"No, it's not nothing. Tell me."
San still refused to tell you anything. His patience completely wore out when you started chanting "tell me" over and over again to the point that he hoisted you over his shoulder, walked you to your room, dropped you on your bed, and turned off the lights before closing the door.
He wasn't going to make the mistake of indulging you while you were drunk out of your mind again.
Before he could get more than a few steps from your door, you opened it and stood in the threshold.
"San," you said, your voice wavering. "Why are you being mean to me?"
Well fuck. San never wanted to be the reason you fucking cried.
"I'm not— I'm sorry," San apologized sincerely to you.
Even though he apologized, tears started rolling down your face. San fully panicked and hugged you before you could start sobbing. You wrapped your arms around him and hugged him back when he leaned back and cupped your face to dry your tears with his thumbs.
"Don't cry," San said softly. "You just need to sleep."
"Then don't dump me on the bed next time," you said while frowning.
San's thumb got a little too close to your eye, making you unintentionally wink at him, but the way your rosy cheek lifted slightly when you closed your eye made San's heart thump harder in his chest. Something so simple was enough to make him yearn for you even though you were right there in his arms.
"Sannie," your soft voice rang in his ear. "Can I tell you something?"
"What?"
"I know I'm tipsy, but I know that I'm not drunk enough to do anything I'll regret."
"What are you talking about?"
"I remember that night. I just didn't want to say anything to you because... I was afraid of what me kissing you would do to our friendship."
San was completely taken aback. So you were avoiding him— not because of what he did, but because of what you did.
"...Why are you telling me this now?"
"Because I don't want you to hate me for doing this again."
You cupped his cheeks then brought his face to yours, your lips meeting his. San didn't know what to do at first— he did not want a repeat of what happened weeks ago, but he craved you so damn much that he needed you more than anything.
San wrapped his arms around you and carried you back into your room while still kissing you. He then laid you down on the bed— super gently this time— before laying right next to you, his lips meeting yours feverishly over and over again.
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YOU ran out of the apartment the next morning. Even though San was sleeping right by your side, and you should've talked things through with him, you were really fucking late— drinking the night before an important event was such a horrible idea. Since you couldn't talk about it just yet, you decided you would send him a text so that he would know that you wanted to.
Technically speaking, you and San did talk about it that night in between kisses, but it was more like surface level shit instead of figuring out what the relationship between the two of you was at that point and what it could look like in the future. And, just like the last time, you didn't have sex with him. You would be lying to yourself if you said you weren't bummed.
"There you are! Took you long enough," Mingyu immediately started teasing you the second you ran up to your booth at the festival.
"Why didn't you cut me off while drinking last night?" you slapped his arm. "I'm hungover as fuck..."
"As long as you don't throw up on anyone, you'll be fine."
Immediately, you and your club members got to work setting everything up for your booth, your hangover quickly subsiding as your adrenaline pumped. You were so invested in the chaos of the festival that you didn't realize you completely forgot to text San.
Thankfully, you got some downtime when the president of the club told you to take a lunch break. You quickly left the booth and went off in search of a (different) food stall to grab your lunch from— your club was doing a food booth, and you wanted to eat anything but that.
"Hey, wait up!" you heard Mingyu holler from behind.
"You're on lunch break too?"
"Yep. Let's eat together," Mingyu said cheerfully as he grabbed your arm and whisked you into the crowd.
It was extremely crowded when you and Mingyu got to the food stalls, and you nearly lost sight of each other a couple times. So, Mingyu held your hand, and he waded through the crowd quickly. The two of you were able to get your food so quickly, in fact, that you had time to sit and eat comfortably and get to explore the rest of the festival before returning back to your booth.
"How's your hangover now?" Mingyu asked as the two of you sat on the grass to eat your food.
"Gone, but I think we were just so busy that I got over it," you admitted while laughing.
"Good, but I got you this just in case."
From his pocket, Mingyu produced a tiny container of painkillers, and he handed you the water bottle that he purchased along with his food.
"Oh, wow! Thank you!" you said happily as you accepted the items from him.
"Don't take it now— you need to eat something first."
"I know, Gyu, you don't need to lecture me."
"Just making sure."
You and Mingyu smiled at each other before digging into your lunches. You talked about God knows what, and as the conversation continued, Mingyu kept finding ways to make you laugh, your heart fluttering more and more with every joke he threw your way.
"Hey, can I try some of yours? You can try mine," Mingyu said after there was a tiny lull in the conversation.
"Oh, sure."
You were going to hand him your lunch so that he could try it himself, but instead he opened his mouth— he wanted you to feed him?
"Mingyu, just take my lunch," you said with a sigh.
"No. I want you to feed me," he refused.
"Really?"
"Come on, I got you painkillers and water. The least you could do is feed me."
"This feels like an extortion," you mumbled as you held out your fork.
Mingyu happily chomped down on the fork, the dumb smile on his face making you smile as well. While he chewed, he held out his food for you to take a bite, and you did. You did happily.
After finishing your food (and taking the God-sent painkillers), you and Mingyu still had some time to spare before you had to be back at your booth. The two of you walked alongside each other as you observed your peers booths, your hands brushing against each other every so often.
It wasn't until half way through your walk did Mingyu get frustrated with how frequently his hand brushed yours. He ended up wordlessly holding your hand as you continued through the festival. Thank God you can't feel someone's heartbeat while holding their hand, otherwise Mingyu definitely would've felt your heart racing.
"I have a question for you," Mingyu said softly.
"What is it?"
"What are you doing after the festival is over?"
Your heart nearly fell out of your chest when you realized that you completely forgot about San, that you completely forgot to text him. You bit your lower lip and responded, "Just going home..."
"Then, would it be alright if I asked you to hang out with me after the festival?"
Your mind was reeling. On one hand, you needed to talk to San about what happened, but on the other, you were having so much fun with Mingyu, and you wanted to continue the fun.
"I promise, I won't bite," Mingyu added, snapping you out of your thoughts. "Unless you want me to."
With a laugh, you shoved Mingyu away, the two of you continuing to laugh as you returned to your club's booth.
You didn't have time to think about anything after that. Your booth got insanely busy and it stayed at that level for hours— even after the sun completely set, your booth was packed with people. You were so busy, in fact, you didn't even realize your roommate was right in front of you until he grabbed your hand.
"Did you forget what I look like or something?" San asked jokingly.
"Oh my God, San! When did you get here?"
"I've been at the festival for a bit now. Do you have time to talk?"
Under the guise of a bathroom break, you and San went to an isolated end of the festival. You stood across from each other, the awkwardness heavy in the air. San was scratching the back of his neck while you crossed your arms over your chest— it was a chilly night, and you didn't have a jacket.
"You ran out this morning," San finally started.
"Yeah, sorry. I was running late, and then I wanted to text you, but our booth got super busy," you explained. "You saw what it was like in there."
"Yeah, I figured you'd be busy since you were busy this week planning. Nice work on the booth, by the way."
"Thanks, we worked hard."
"I know."
The conversation lulled. You didn't know how to bring up the events of the night before, and San didn't say anything either, so the awkwardness only got heavier. The wind ended up filling your conversation, and it also sent a shiver down your spine.
"Did you not bring a jacket?" San asked as he watched you shiver and rub your arm to warm up.
"No, I ran out that quickly," you said, your teeth chattering.
With a small smile on his face, San took off his jacket and draped it over your shoulders. The warmth from his body clung to the jacket, and it ended up warming you up faster.
"Thanks, San, but won't you get cold?"
"I was planning on heading home after talking to you, anyway... I guess we didn't really talk, did we?" San realized sheepishly.
"Yeah... Not really..."
God, it was even hard for you to get the words out. Maybe you needed some liquid courage before you had the conversation with him.
 "We, uh... We can talk when you get home."
"Alright. Get home safe, San," you nodded.
The two of you waved goodbye before San left, leaving you to return to the festival. After wearing San's jacket properly, you took a couple steps forward, only to see Mingyu standing before you.
"That was a pretty long bathroom break, don't you think?" he joked.
"Yeah, sorry. How long has it been?"
"Not that long. I was just messing with you."
"Gyu!" you let out a relieved laugh— you needed that after the tension between you and San earlier. "Cut it out. Let's get back to the booth."
You and Mingyu returned to the booth, and your club wrapped up business shortly thereafter. The booth breakdown and cleaning took a lot less time than anyone expected, so as soon as everyone was done, the entire club announced that you all would be going drinking. Before you could decline the invitation, you were whisked away to the local bar near campus.
Yet again, you forgot to text San. You wanted to tell him that you'd be home late, but every time you pulled out your phone to text him, someone distracted you. Everyone was trying to get you to drink heavily, but you only needed a light buzz to help you start this conversation with San, and if you were over the top drunk, there was no way in hell you were going to be able to have a sane conversation with him.
"Hey," Mingyu prodded your arm as he saw you chewing on your lower lip nervously. "You're not drinking as much as you normally do. Is everything okay? Is it the hangover?"
"N-No— well, maybe... I just don't want to drink too much tonight is all," you admitted to him.
"Wow, if only you were this responsible all the time, then we wouldn't have to worry about an insanely drunk version of you."
"Shut up!" 
You pushed Mingyu away while laughing, the man barely budging. If anything, he leaned in even closer to you and whispered in your ear, "I honestly want to get out of here. Come with me if you want to leave, too."
With that, Mingyu stood up. He turned back to look at you for a split second and held his hand for you to take, which you did. You both bid adieu to the rest of your drunken friends before leaving the bar.
As you walked into the night, Mingyu leaned closer to you and reminded you gently, "You still never told me your answer."
"To what?"
"Come hang out with me tonight. I promise I'll make it worth your time."
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YOU couldn't help but notice that Mingyu had a really nice place. You were honestly a little shocked at how refined his taste was, only for him to tell you that the place came fully furnished. Even then, he was joking around with you, making you feel comfortable and welcome in his home.
You ended up sitting on his couch while he rustled through the kitchen. Wielding two glasses of water, Mingyu joined you on the couch. You took one of the glasses from him and nursed your water while Mingyu let out a groan of exhaustion, his head hitting the sofa cushion behind him.
"Thank God we're finally done," he said loudly. "That festival took everything out of me."
"Same," you agreed. "I never want to do this again!"
"You know we have to do this again next year, right?"
"Fuck!"
Mingyu laughed loudly, and his laugh was so contagious that you couldn't help but laugh as well. You set the water glass down and got a little more comfortable on his couch while turning to face him.
"You looked really cute in the apron, by the way," he commented.
"What, that old thing? Really?"
"Honestly, you could make anything cute since you yourself are very cute."
You felt heat rise to your cheeks. You looked away shyly— even though his lines were so cheesy, you still loved the compliments, especially from him.
"I don't think you've ever called me cute before, Mingyu," you tried joking around with him. "What's gotten into you for you to say that so openly?"
"Hmm, it could be the alcohol, but I only had one beer..." he pondered. "I think I just wanted you to know. I don't think you hear it enough."
"Shut up," you giggled. "I hear it plenty."
"Are you sure? Because you're acting like you're hearing it for the first time," he teased.
"Yes, I'm sure."
"...Still, I want you to hear it. You're really cute."
"Stop it, Mingyu," you laughed.
"No, I need you to know that I think you're really cute."
Mingyu's fingers— you didn't even realize his hand was on your thigh— started rubbing light circles through the fabric of your pants. Your entire body flushed with excitement and desire. You started leaning towards him.
"I'm literally wearing leggings and the world's rattiest shirt because I didn't want to ruin any of my nice shirts."
"I told you, you can make anything cute because you're so cute."
"Yeah? You think I'm cute?"
"Yeah, I think you're super cute."
Mingyu moved his hand from your thigh to your ear, his fingers brushing your hair away before he ran his thumb along the ridge of your ear. Your ear felt like it was on fire when he did that, and heat surged through your body when you realized he was leaning in to kiss you. You met his kiss, your lips pressing against each other softly.
You couldn't help but giggle when he left another gentle peck on your lips because he was being so gentle, so careful with you.
"God, you're so cute," Mingyu breathed out when he heard you giggle.
His lips met yours a little more passionately. You reached for the collar of his shirt and pulled him a little closer before resting your hands on the back of his neck. The kisses only got more intense when his fingers moved from your ears to your hair, one hand holding the back of your head while the other held your waist. His fingers danced along the curve of your hip, and his hand messed up your hair further the more impatient he got with his kisses. His urgency made you giggle happily yet again, making him smile against your lips.
Mingyu ended up pulling you onto his lap, your knees on either side of him as you straddled him. Your giggles finally died down, but you kept smiling the more you kissed him because he was doing all the right things. He ran his hands from your thighs to your ass, up your back, and then back down along the curve of your waist. You were wearing the ugliest shirt known to mankind, but he really made you feel so cute and attractive in that moment.
Neither of you could seem to get enough of each other. His hands were starting to hold and squeeze your thighs, ass, and waist, while his breathing started hitching every so often the more passionately you kissed him. It certainly did not help when you cupped his face and kissed him while intentionally brushing your fingers along his ear.
"Nngh," Mingyu let out the tiniest noise that normally would've made you laugh, but you wanted him so badly at that point that the noise turned you on. "I... I want you."
"Good, because I want you too."
He exhaled happily, and finally, he started taking off your clothes. He took off your jacket and tossed it aside haphazardly. When he went to take your shirt off, he accidentally hooked his fingers in one of the holes and ripped right through your shirt.
"Oh, shit, I'm so sorry—"
"Gyu, I told you this was the rattiest shirt on Earth. I was going to throw it out anyway."
"So then you wouldn't mind if I did this..."
He grabbed your shirt at the collar, and with his sheer strength (not that he needed much of it because the shirt was seriously so worn down), he tore the shirt down the middle. You bit your lower lip, his simple action turning you on way more. He helped you get the shirt off before continuing to kiss you.
The articles of clothing came off one by one, Mingyu taking his sweet time with you because he wanted to relish every single moment. He had remained seated on the couch, and you were still straddling him. Before he could grab a condom, you got off the couch and sunk to your knees, his eyes widening. He suppressed a groan when you held his insanely massive cock, only for the groan to escape the second he felt your tongue lick the pre-cum off the tip of his cock. 
"Mmm, fuck, yes... Just like that," Mingyu groaned when you took him into your mouth slowly.
You couldn't take all of him just yet— you were still getting used to his size. You would go down on his cock, then resurface for air every time you got the tiniest bit further down. Mingyu was losing his mind the more you sucked his cock like that, his hands itching to run through your hair. Honestly, you wouldn't have minded if he throat fucked you, and he seemed to pick up on that when you felt him hold the back of your head.
"God, you feel— Oh! Oh, yes, cutie... You feel so fucking amazing," Mingyu said while choking back his moans.
Mingyu calling you cutie made you want to do more for him. So, you hollowed out your cheeks and slurped, making him fling his head back into the sofa cushions and grit his teeth as his eyelids fluttered. His hold on your head got looser the more he lost his sanity, and just before he came, you stopped.
"How could you?" Mingyu gasped, his voice high from the euphoria.
"I need you inside me, Gyu," you said as you stood up. "I don't think I can wait any longer."
"Alright, cutie. C'mere," Mingyu held out one hand for you while his other hand successfully fished a condom from his wallet.
As soon as he rolled the condom on, you straddled him again. You spread your folds and held his cock to line it up with your entrance before sinking onto his cock slowly. The second he was the slightest bit inside you, you held his shoulders and gripped tightly— you knew he was going to stretch you out, but you still weren't prepared for his size.
"Gyu," your voice wavered. "You're so fucking big..."
"I'm sorry, cutie. Does it hurt?" he asked, the tiniest hint of worry in his voice.
"A little bit..."
"Then let me distract you."
He held your face and kissed you softly, the pain immediately melting away the more you focused on the sweetness of his kisses. When your hold on him got lighter, he guided your waist downwards, making you sink further onto his cock.
"Just like that," he whispered. "You're doing so well."
When the entirety of his huge cock was inside you— you couldn't believe that he actually fit— you felt like he had filled you up. You felt like you were actually stuffed with him inside you.
"Good job, cutie," Mingyu praised as he kissed your temple. "Do you think you can start moving?"
You nodded. With Mingyu's hands guiding you, you started bouncing lightly on his lap, the feeling of his cock rubbing against your walls warming you up immensely. You felt his hips roll up into yours every so often, making the sensation of him inside you all the more better. But, you were still moving a little too slowly for both you and him, which you figured out when you felt a hot sigh on your neck.
"Lean forward for me, cutie. I'm going to help you out."
You did as he said, and immediately, you started moving faster. You cried out when his hands lifted and slammed your ass, the feeling of his cock nearly reaching your cervix and the insane speed he was moving you at compared to your slower one from earlier making white flood your vision. You couldn't even warn him— you came so fast when he sat you down on his cock just hard enough for him to actually hit your cervix. You buried your face in his neck and cried as your orgasm took control over you, your arms and thighs shaking.
You thought Mingyu was going to tease you, but instead, he flipped you onto your back and pinned you on the couch, his cock still inside you. His cock throbbed inside you, and you realized that when you clenched around his cock when you came, you nearly sent him to heaven and back with how tight you were. You were still moaning and screaming his name as he repeatedly rammed his cock into you, and you clawed at his back unknowingly as the pleasure consumed the two of you. His jaw was tense, and sweat rolled down his face and bare body as he fucked you hard. He was grunting and holding back moans as he fucked you, the sound of the couch squeezing drowning out his own little sounds.
Both hands on your waist, Mingyu fucked you wildly. You clung to his arms, your nails digging into his skin as he continued to be so rough with you. It wasn't until he hovered over you and had his hands planted firmly on either side of your head did his pace finally slow down. Your hands moved from his arms to the back of his neck, and you brought him closer to you to kiss him.
"Fuck," he gasped, cutting off your kiss. "I'm— Shit! Fuck!"
Mingyu's head fell into the crook of your neck as he came hard, the condom inside you filling up entirely. He remained inside you as he regulated his breathing, his thick chest rubbing against your nipples as inhaled. The friction on your nipples made you moan slightly, catching Mingyu's attention immediately.
"What, do you want me to give your breasts some attention too?" he joked.
"Shut up— Hnngh! Oh!"
Your back arched when he laid alongside you and held your breast. He twisted and toyed with your nipple, and when he finally pulled out, he lowered himself so he could suck on your now sore nipple.
"Gyu," you sighed out, the pleasure from him playing with your breasts starting to get to your head.
"Yes, cutie?"
"...Do you have another condom?"
Mingyu looked up at your flushed face, a huge grin spreading across his.
"God, you're so fucking cute! Of course I do."
"Then let's go again."
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YOU woke up the next morning to see a singular text from your roommate. Usually, he would spam you to make sure you were okay, so the singular text really freaked you out.
"Gyu, I gotta get home. I totally forgot to tell my roommate I was going to spend the night here," you told the sleeping man next to you as you shook him awake.
"Cutie, this is so not cute of you," Mingyu grumbled.
"Seriously. I gotta go home."
"Then go..."
"I can't— you ripped my shirt last night."
Mingyu's eyes completely opened, and he laughed. He sat up and stretched while saying, "I totally forgot about that. Alright, I'll get up and give you a shirt."
And that's how you ended up wearing San's jacket and Mingyu's shirt home.
The second you got home, you walked into the apartment to see a very pissed San on the couch. When he heard you enter the living room, he stood up and walked towards you, the intensity of his actions making you take a couple steps back until your back was pressed against the wall.
"What the fuck happened to you last night?" San asked, his voice the scariest you'd ever heard it get.
"I—"
"You have no idea how fucking worried I was!"
At that point, you were fed up by the way San was talking to you, so you shot back, "You only sent me one text last night, and I'm sorry I missed it, but if you were so worried then you could've spammed me or called me like you normally do! Why are you being so pissy with me?!"
"I didn't want to bombard you because— We still haven't talked about anything, and I didn't want to overwhelm you!" San reasoned out but still with a booming voice.
"Why?!"
"You didn't text me in the morning, let alone tell me you were leaving the apartment, you didn't text me last night after the festival ended, and you didn't even text me that you were coming home this morning! I didn't know if you were mad at me or something!"
"Well, I'm not!"
"So then why didn't you text or call?!"
You went silent. There was nothing wrong with you sleeping with Mingyu, but you felt insanely guilty regardless. You looked down at your feet and heard San exhale deeply. He did his best to calm himself down before tilting your head up to meet his gaze.
"Where were you last—"
San cut himself off. You looked at him with wide eyes as he peeled his jacket off you to reveal Mingyu's shirt.
"You... You weren't wearing this last night... Whose shirt is this?" San asked quietly.
"Mingyu's," you answered in a pathetic voice.
"W-Why are you wearing his shirt?"
"Because he— I ripped mine," you quickly amended your words. "And I spent the night there..."
"Did... Uh... Did you sleep with him?"
There was no way in hell you were going to be able to lie to San.
"...Yes."
The guilt just piled on you. You didn't owe San a thing, and you weren't in a relationship with him or anything. All you did was kiss him, but the way he was looking at you made you feel like you were cheating on him or something.
"Take it off. Right now."
"Come on, San, it's just a shirt—"
"Take. It. Off."
"Okay, geez, since it bothers you so much, then I will. Let me just go to my room—"
You tried to brush past him, but he stopped you before you could. He wordlessly began taking the shirt off you himself— when he said right now, he really meant right now.
"What the fuck, San? Why are you—"
This time, to get you to shut up, San pulled the shirt off you and kissed you, your brain melting immediately. He held your body tightly, firmly, pressing his chest against you and you into the wall. Your fingers found the roots of his hair and tugged lightly as he made out with you so intensely that you thought your legs were going to give out.
"San— Ah! Mmm, San, wait," you tried to get him to stop when you felt him grope your ass.
"What? What is it? What am I waiting for now?" San asked with slight annoyance, his thin patience ready to snap.
"I just think I should shower..." you whispered. "Before we go further..."
San let your words sink in, and after a moment of letting them process, San let you go and moved out of the way.
When you went to take your shower, you didn't know what to expect. You had never seen San act that way before with anyone, and he wasn't the type to get jealous, so seeing the jealousy in his eyes made your body tremble. Honestly, after sleeping with Mingyu the night before, you thought that maybe you shouldn't do anything with San, but considering fucking San was all you could dream about since the first time you kissed him weeks ago, you couldn't deny yourself the opportunity— especially when it was being offered to you on a silver plate.
You emerged from the shower, and before you could even step foot in your room, you heard San pipe up from his room, "Don't bother. Come here."
Clad in your towel, you shuffled to San's room. He was sitting on the edge of his bed when you entered. You watched as his eyes scanned you from the tips of your toes to the top of your head, your body flushing with heat the more he stared at you like you were a piece of meat.
"Come. Sit here," San said while patting the space next to him after a moment of silence passed
"Can't I dry off first...?"
"I'll help you dry off. Come here."
You felt your face get hot. Maybe it was the tone he was taking— he wasn't being curt with you like he was before, but he wasn't being his normal self either. His voice was slightly deeper, more sensual, hotter, and the glint in his eyes made you want to melt before him.
You sat down on the bed next to him, his hand immediately moving to rest on the bed and right behind you, but he had yet to touch you. He inched closer to you, and your body tensed in anticipation, but he was still not touching you, and the slower he moved, the more insane it drove you.
"Tell me something," he whispered, his breath flitting past your cheek. "Do you want to talk now or later?"
"I, um," you gulped nervously, unsure of what to do because you knew that you should talk to him, but the way he was turning you on was too much for you to bear, and you desperately wanted him.
"I need to know..."
"...Later. I need you now."
Finally, San touched you when he wrapped his hand around your neck lightly and brought you in, his lips enveloping yours almost immediately. He was kissing you hungrily, like he could eat you up, and when he pressed his fingers into your neck slightly every so often, it just added to the euphoria. You moaned into the kisses, your hands grabbing at his sweater and pulling him closer.
The towel wrapped around your body slipped when you grabbed at the man more. The second the towel fell, San's hand found your breast, and he began kneading it with his large palm. You could barely focus on kissing him when you felt his fingers rub against your nipples repeatedly, the sensation turning you on faster.
"And," San breathed out in between kisses. "You're okay with doing this?"
"San, I'm more than okay with this," you sighed out.
San pinned you down on his bed and knelt above you. You watched through hazy eyes as he stripped down to nothing. You'd seen his chest and abs plenty of times because he had a horrible habit of wandering around the apartment shirtless, but what you weren't expecting was his thick cock. At first you didn't think his cock was that long, but when he started stroking it, you stood corrected.
Leaning over to his nightstand, San grabbed a condom and tore it open before tossing it on your chest.
"Put it on for me," he instructed (rather kindly).
You sat up and placed the condom on the tip of his cock. Then, using your mouth, you rolled the condom on. San was definitely not expecting you to do that, and when he saw you do that while looking up at him with big eyes, his entire body reacted.
Grabbing your arms, San pinned you on his bed once again, his one hand holding your wrists above your head. He left wet, sloppy kisses along your neck, collarbones, and breasts while simultaneously rubbing his cock along your folds. Every time the tip of his cock rubbed against your clit, your toes curled, and your back arched, pushing your body closer to his.
"Sannie," you panted, using your nickname for him. "Stop teasing me."
"Mmm, I think you can wait," San hummed. "You made me wait all night, after all."
San was fucking punishing you by edging you, and it was driving you in-fucking-sane. You couldn't do anything with your hands because he had them trapped above your head, and your legs were stuck because his knees were trapping your legs. The only thing you could do was writhe below him, your hips rolling towards his cock and trying desperately to get him inside you.
You wanted to scream at him when he moved his cock away, but you didn't because you felt two of his thick fingers enter you rashly. He fingered you quickly and roughly, the sounds of your pussy squelching along with your erotic moans filling up the room. Tears started filling up your eyes when he curled his fingers inside you as if he was looking for your G-spot. The second he did find it, your body convulsed. You let out a choking cry as you came, your arousal covering his hand and his sheets.
"Ah, there we go," San murmured. "You feel good?"
You whimpered and nodded as you were unable to formulate words.
"I'll make you feel a whole lot better now, baby."
Baby. That was the first time that word had ever left the man's mouth in the time you knew him, and it sent your heart on a sprint. The second the word settled on you, San's cock was raring to go. He rubbed the tip against your folds one final time before pushing it through, his cock spreading you painfully wide.
"Oh, fuck! San— It hurts!" you cried as you tried to free your hands from his grasp.
"Sorry, sorry," San apologized and immediately pulled out.
San finally let go of your wrists, allowing you to hold onto his forearms. He watched you visibly relax before kissing your cheek and saying, "I'm going to go again. I need you to breathe and relax for me, okay?"
You bit your lower lip and nodded. San brushed your hair out of your face and let you prepare for a second longer before placing himself at your entrance. The second you exhaled, San entered you again, and this time, it didn't hurt so bad. That being said, tears still slipped out of your eyes when you felt him fill you up slowly but surely.
"Good job, baby," he whispered and kissed the tears off your cheek.
You froze for a split second— you definitely had déjà vu when he said that, but he didn't give you time to sit and ponder because he started moving. You ended up wrapping your legs around his slim waist and your arms over his broad shoulders as he fucked you at a rough but steady pace.
"You're so fucking tight," San bit out. "Just like I imagined."
The way San's hips rolled into yours made you feel all sorts of ways. He was there, and he was inside you, but you felt like you couldn't get enough of him. You pulled him down and kissed him while he fucked you steadily, his tongue slipping into your mouth as you made out with him roughly. He sucked on your lower lip and tugged upwards, making your heart flutter a little more for him.
You couldn't help but feel disappointed when he pulled out, only for the slight disappointment to immediately vanish when you heard him say, "Turn around for me, baby. I want to see you on your hands and knees."
Trembling— you didn't realize that San's cock would completely demolish your body until you tried to move— you managed to get on your hands and knees. You felt San's hand grab your ass and squeeze it. The second he did, you arched your back, making the man chuckle.
"You liked that, huh?" San teased.
You for sure thought San was going to smack your ass after that, but instead, he grabbed the other cheek and did the same thing, both of his hands gripping your ass. He kneaded your ass until he himself lost his patience. He quickly shoved his cock into you— it didn't hurt now that you were used to his size— and immediately held onto your waist.
San fucking you from behind was exhilarating to say the least. The way his waist made contact with your ass, and the way he held your waist while he railed you into tomorrow made you feel so fucking good. You felt so good, in fact, that your arms gave out on you, your chest pressing into the bed while your arms laid flat alongside you.
The sudden change in angle was too much for San. He buried his cock deep inside you with one final thrust, a groan emanating from his entire being as he came. When he thrust into you that time, though, he hit your cervix, making you cum as well. You cried loudly while San moaned deeply as the two of you came together, and after the high of the orgasm wore off, he pulled out and threw the condom away while you melted into a puddle on his bed.
"Fuck," you mumbled as you laid down on his bed, San laying down in front of you. "That was amazing..."
"Yeah? Good."
He kissed your forehead before wrapping his arms around you, your face meeting his slightly sweaty chest. Being surrounded in his sweat only made you realize that, dammit, you had to shower again.
"This time, when you shower," San started— he read your mind somehow. "I'll join you."
"The fuck?"
"Yeah. Let's save water, baby. Let's reduce our water bill."
"Fuck off," you said with a laugh before hugging him closer.
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YOU didn't get to talk to San about what the hell your relationship was. You spent the rest of that day sleeping, and the day after, the two of you had classes— you weren't avoiding each other, but neither of you had the time to sit down and talk.
Plus, to make matters more complicated, Mingyu would flirt with you whenever he saw you. You didn't mind that he was flirting with you (because if San didn't want a relationship, then you could have one with Mingyu because you did like Mingyu too), but you felt a little weird that you were kind of leading him on.
"Hey, so, I was thinking," Mingyu leaned towards you and whispered. "After the club meeting..."
The whole club was in the club room discussing future events, and after the festival, there was an influx of members, so you and Mingyu resorted to standing on the side and leaning against the waist high cabinets. As he got closer to you, his hand slid towards your back, and he tiptoed his fingers along your spine.
"We should go back to my place."
He placed his palm flat against your back, and you nearly jumped out of your skin feeling his hot touch. Also, the fact that his lips were dangerously close to your ear made you extremely paranoid about the rest of the people in the room.
"Mingyu, can we not do this right now?" you asked through gritted teeth.
"Everyone's focused on the presentation, don't worry about it, cutie."
"Oh, then I think we should focus on the presentation, too."
You pushed Mingyu's face away, making the man chuckle and finally lean away from you. He leaned away, but his hand was still on your back, and his fingers began tracing patterns on your back. You couldn't focus on the meeting at all after that.
Before Mingyu got the chance to bring up the idea he had during the meeting, the e-board of your club announced that they all wanted to go drinking— how you and your club didn't have liver failure yet was beyond you— so the two of you were dragged to happy hour.
This time, you made sure to text San before you started drinking. You told him that you'd be out with your club and that you were at a popular restaurant on campus (someone managed to convince the president to go to a place where you could also get food).
san: look up
You looked up, and sitting at the bar with a friend was your roommate. He waved at you briefly before going back to his phone.
san: lmk when you're done with dinner san: we can head home together
You replied with the okay emoji, and he sent an emoji that made you laugh. You put your phone away happily knowing that you and San were at least okay.
"Who're you texting for you to be smiling like that?" Mingyu asked as he took the seat next to you.
"My roommate," you responded.
"Huh."
You looked over to see a slight look of displease on Mingyu's face before it suddenly vanished and got replaced by a sultry smile.
"So, after dinner tonight, why don't we go back to my place?" Mingyu picked up where you both left off.
"I don't— Oh..."
You were going to decline him, but when you felt his large hand cup your thigh and began rubbing it, you lost the words.
"What do you say, cutie?"
You didn't answer because you really didn't know what to say. Plus, his hand was nearing your crotch, and your brain was swimming with all of the dirty thoughts in the world, so there was no way for you to say anything coherent.
Mingyu seemed to be having the time of his life turning you on like that. He was still talking to the rest of the club members like normal and getting food and drinks while you were all sorts of hot and bothered. Your club mates thought you were getting drunk because every time they tried to talk to you, it took a while for you to respond, so they cut you off before you could even start drinking that night.
"Mingyu, please," you gasped and tried to push his hand away. "Not now."
"Alright, so later then," Mingyu finally let go of your thigh and winked at you.
Damn, he really was going to get his way, wasn't he?
Dinner was dragging on for a while, and you couldn't leave until you settled the bill, so you tried to see if you could talk to a club mate and tell them you'd pay them later, but they were so caught up in their own world that you couldn't talk to them.
Thankfully, San ended up approaching your table— he finished his dinner with his friend and was waiting for several minutes to see if you were done.
"Hey, you ready to go?" San asked you.
"Oh, uh—"
"Hey, San. How are you?" Mingyu interjected and talked to your roommate.
"Mingyu! I'm fine, how are you?"
"I'm good. So, listen... I'm taking her home tonight."
You froze. The chatter from your table slowly died down as the tension between San and Mingyu rose.
"Uh, I don't think so. We both agreed that we'd walk home together," San argued.
"Huh, because I remember making plans with her to go back to my place later tonight, so..."
Before the argument could actually start, you stood up and grabbed both men's arms and called out to the club, "Hey, let me know what Gyu and I owe, okay? We're heading out! Bye!"
You dragged the two outside and stood between them so that nothing could happen. Granted, you knew they wouldn't start swinging fists at each other because they weren't the type to do that, but it didn't hurt to be safe.
"I think you need to give us some answers, cutie," Mingyu said in a low tone that sent shivers down your spine.
"Okay, when we got to the restaurant, I texted San, and he told me that he was also there, so said we should head home together, but then you started coming onto me, and... Yeah..."
"So are you saying I shouldn't have come onto you?"
"No, I'm saying I—"
You were about to tell Mingyu that you needed him to fuck you, but you realized that San was standing right behind you, and you didn't need to deal with his wrath either.
"Oh," Mingyu smirked. "Got it."
Yeah, you were going to have to deal with San's wrath.
"You can't be serious right now—" San scoffed and rolled his eyes before you covered his mouth.
"Let's just go home, okay? We can talk about it later," you started pushing San in the direction of your apartment.
"I think we should all talk about it right now," Mingyu interjected as he grabbed your shoulder.
"Gyu, I'm tired—"
"If you think I'm going to just let you go without an explanation, you're crazy."
Next thing you knew, you were sitting in between a very annoyed Mingyu and a very annoyed San, the two of them glaring daggers at each other.
"I can't believe you're in my apartment," San said with a frown.
"It's not just your apartment, dude. It's her apartment too," Mingyu pointed out. "Besides, I was going to get here eventually."
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
"Alright! Alright, calm down," you immediately put your hands on San's shoulders to calm him down, Mingyu eyeing you as you patted San's arms.
"Hey, remember when I asked you if anything was going on between you and your roommate a couple of weeks ago?" Mingyu asked you while poking your arm. "Did you lie to me?"
"No, I didn't— Nothing happened—"
"Nothing happened? You freaking kissed me—"
"San, shut up," you bit out and covered his mouth with your hand before he could go further.
"So you did lie to me?" Mingyu looked like a hurt puppy dog. "I thought we were friends."
"We are! I just— It was more complicated back then," you sighed.
"Yeah, right—"
"San, shut the fuck up! I'll explain," you slapped his mouth lightly.
"So what's the truth?"
"Okay, a couple of weeks ago, I was really drunk— Don't!" you stopped San before he could say something stupid about your drinking habits. "And I kissed him, but the next morning, I lied and told him I didn't remember anything. So, when I told you, Gyu, that nothing happened between San and I, it was just a continuation of that lie."
"Oh... Okay, that's fine," Mingyu smiled and leaned back.
"Huh?"
"Well, if you lied about not remembering, it means that you didn't want to kiss him, right?"
"No, that's not—"
"Dude, she lied about it to protect our friendship," San interrupted. "Not because she didn't want to kiss me."
"Okay, whatever you need to tell yourself, little guy."
"Excuse me?"
"Little guy. You know. 'Cuz you're short."
You buried your face in your hands when you felt San get off the couch and heard him yell, "You're just freakishly tall!"
"Which also means you're short!"
"Both of you sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up!" you ordered the two of them.
Reluctantly, they both sat down, but the heavy tension remained. It only got worse when you heard San grumble under his breath but loud enough for both you and Mingyu to hear, "She made out with me twice, asshole."
"Okay, but that means nothing to me," Mingyu scoffed. "I slept with her."
"God..." you buried your face in your hands again.
"Yeah, I know," San rolled his eyes. "You're not special."
"What?"
If only the couch could swallow you whole.
"I said you're not special—"
"No, hold on— You slept with her too?" Mingyu asked in complete disbelief.
"Yeah, I did."
"Lord..." you groaned and buried your face further into your hands.
A silence swept over the apartment, and the tension got so thick, you could cut a butter knife into it. You truly thought both men were going to be done with you, think you're a slut, and tell you to get the fuck out of your own apartment. You sighed and placed your hands on your knees, and just as you were about to get up, Mingyu spoke.
"Okay, so, if that's the case... Cutie," the fact that Mingyu still called you by the nickname he gave you did not bode well for you. "Who fucked you better?"
"What?!"
"Who was better?" Mingyu asked again as if you couldn't hear him. "Me or your roommate?"
"I— I— Help," you stammered.
"She's not going to answer that because she shouldn't have to," San nearly spat at the other man.
"Oh, shut up. I know you wanna know, too."
San actually listened to Mingyu and shut up— he did want to know.
"Who?" San asked you in a tiny voice.
"God, what the fuck, you guys?! Just stop!" you finally put your foot down and got off the couch. "Can we just... Do this later?"
"See? She doesn't want to say because she knows I'm better," Mingyu leaned towards San now that you weren't in the middle to keep them apart from each other.
"Shut the fuck up. She's trying not to hurt your feelings, asshole," San leaned forward as well, both men ready to attack each other (although, to you, it looked like a cat and a dog fighting).
"Stop!" you pushed both men from each other again and sat between them once more. "Stop fighting—"
"Then tell us who is better."
"I— I don't— Ugh! Look, I don't remember, okay?" you said with a huff of frustration. "I don't know who is better, so just drop it."
Surprisingly, they dropped it— at least you thought they did. They moved closer to you, one man wrapping his arm around your waist, the other grabbing your arm and thigh, sandwiching you between them.
"Then, we'll just have to fuck you again."
"And you can tell us who's better after."
Before you even had time to process what either of them were saying, Mingyu grabbed your face and started kissing you. Refusing to lose, San took a different route. He sank off the couch and knelt in front of you. He held your knees and opened your legs up before rubbing circles on your clothed clit with his thumb. You couldn't help but moan when you felt San's touch, your entire body reacting to him.
San hooked his fingers into the waistband of your pants and pulled them off you, your panties still clinging to your waist. He resumed rubbing circles on your clit before bringing his face between your legs and licking a stripe over your panties. You tried to close your legs, but San's strength kept one leg in place while his shoulder blocked the other. He pulled your panties to the side before licking your cunt up and down, his tongue gliding through your folds. You ran your fingers through San's hair and pulled in attempt to get him to slow down, but with every tug, San only got more reckless.
"Cutie, pay attention to me, too," Mingyu whispered to you before his tongue dove into your mouth.
Mingyu took your other hand and put it over his crotch, making you feel exactly how hard he got. While you made out with him, you started massaging his cock through his pants, his breath hitching when you squeezed it just right. Truthfully, with the way San was eating you out, you didn't think you had the strength to even hold onto his hair, but you managed to both keep tugging on roots and pull Mingyu's cock out of his pants.
"Fuck," Mingyu mumbled before sharply inhaling. "Oh, God..."
He stopped kissing you and stood up, your eyes barely following him as San used that opportunity to suck sweetly on your clit. Mingyu stripped down and rubbed his insane cock a couple times while nearing your mouth.
"Suck this for me, won't you, cutie?"
You licked your lips before taking Mingyu's cockhead into your mouth, the man immediately shuddering the second he felt your lips. You heard him exhale through grit teeth as you took more of him in. He held the back of your head, but he didn't move you— he just kept his hand planted on you while you moved and occasionally gagged on his length.
San, meanwhile, decided to slip one of his fingers into your cunt, his tongue flicking your sore bud rapidly. He fingered you slowly at first, but every time he heard you slurp Mingyu's cock, he got faster. He added a second finger to the mix before shoving them in you roughly and rapidly, the knot in your stomach tightening at an exponential rate. It was when he added the third finger did you take Mingyu out of your mouth to cry loudly and cum all over San's fingers.
You didn't see it, but there was a slightly triumphant smile on San's face that immediately disappeared when Mingyu guided your head back to his cock. When he felt your hands on his pelvis, Mingyu started throat fucking you, your gagging sounds only getting louder. Saliva started to drip from the corners of your mouth the harder he fucked your mouth, and every so often, he would let you breathe, the thickest snail trail connecting his cock to your mouth.
The sight of you looking completely fucked out by Mingyu's cock was a little too much for him to handle. He let you go and watched you through darkened eyes as your chest moved heavily every time you breathed. Before he got the chance to touch you, though, San— who took off his own clothes— ran his hands up your shirt and bra and went for your breasts.
"How do you feel, baby?" San asked in a gentle voice.
"M-More, Sannie..." you whined.
"Okay, baby, I got you."
San helped you out of the rest of your clothes and tossed them aside while Mingyu sat back down on the couch and nudged your upper body away from him so that you were propping yourself up on your elbows. San brushed your hair out of your face and pet your hair before holding his own cock up to your mouth. He didn't even have to say anything— you opened your mouth automatically for him and started sucking.
"Good girl," San praised as he sighed with pleasure. "That's my baby."
Mingyu had rolled on a condom by this time and was already playing with your cunt when you started sucking San's cock. When he heard San praise you, Mingyu rubbed his cock along your folds before entering you slowly, his cock spreading you open. He groaned softly before bottoming out, making you moan on San's cock.
San's hips rolled towards you as he steadily got more impatient seeing Mingyu fucking you from behind. Mingyu was moving at a slower pace, but San could see that he wanted to go faster and that you wanted more based off the way you were gyrating your hips. He only got more irritated when he saw Mingyu hook his arm under your leg and pull it up and towards his chest. Your cunt was swallowing Mingyu's cock so perfectly, and if Mingyu jerked his hips up just right, his cock would bulge out slightly.
Not only was his cock bulging, but it was also going so deep inside you that you felt your high building again. You took San out of your mouth and turned to face Mingyu while whimpering for more.
"Gyu," you cried. "Harder, please—!"
Mingyu didn't need to be told twice. He rammed his hips into yours, little grunts leaving his chest with every thrust. You reached for his head and ran your fingers through his hair, your other hand grabbing the couch for stability. You were biting your lower lip hard— so hard, in fact, that you were about to make yourself bleed. You would've bled if San hadn't tilted your head towards him and kissed you. He sucked and nibbled on your lower lip while Mingyu continued to fuck you from behind.
The tension within you snapped, and you felt yourself squirting, but Mingyu just kept thrusting through the fluid, soaking you, him, and the couch up.
"Mingyu— Fuck! I'm cum— Ah! Cumming!" you cried while trying to push him away.
Finally, he pulled out, letting you finish in peace. Your entire body trembled as you squirted for what felt like an eternity, and it certainly did not help when Mingyu drove two of his thick fingers into you and fingered you roughly, getting you to cum again. You grabbed at his arm to get him to let up, but Mingyu was strong, and he wanted you to cum until you saw all the stars.
As soon as Mingyu's fingers left your body, San turned you around so that you were pinning Mingyu on the couch before rolling on his own condom. Your chest rubbed against Mingyu's while your ass was high in the air, and you buried your face in the nook of Mingyu's neck the second you felt San's thick cock rub between your asscheeks.
"How are you feeling, cutie?" Mingyu murmured as he ran his hands along your waist and back.
"Gyu— Oh! Oh, fuck!" you cried when San's cock entered you, making you unable to finish your thoughts.
You clung to Mingyu's shoulders as San rut into you, his hands pulling your waist into his cock as he fucked you. You cried out with every thrust, your cunt still recovering from Mingyu fucking you rough and making you cum hard. You were breathing hard and heavily as San's cock filled you up and spread you wide, and you gasped when you felt his hand make contact with your ass.
"Sannie— Oh! Good! Feels so good," you choked out when he spanked you again.
"I didn't know you liked things like that, cutie," Mingyu teased you.
You whined and nodded, your body lurching when San smacked your ass once more.
"What about this?" Mingyu asked as he ran his fingers down your face and to your lips. "Do you like things like this?"
Mingyu stuck his fingers in your mouth, and you immediately started sucking. He bit his lower lip and stared at you hungrily, your heart thumping at the sight. He took his fingers back and brought your head down to kiss him. Your tongue danced with his as he kissed you ferociously, his canine occasionally scratching your lips lightly.
San leaned forward as his thrusts sped up, making your back arch and your chest lower onto Mingyu's, your cries getting louder. The second his cock rubbed against your G-spot, you saw white, and you came, your legs shaking as you screamed in pleasure. San pulled out and spread your ass cheeks, letting you squirt all over the couch and Mingyu's, yours, and his legs.
"Oh.. My God..." you panted while looking back at San.
San chuckled and smoothed out your hair before leaving a fluttering kiss on your temple. The moment was very brief because next thing you knew, Mingyu had turned your attention back to him when he rubbed his cock against your clit then stuff himself inside you.
"Oh, cutie, you're not off the hook just yet," Mingyu tsked. "Don't you think I should get to cum too?"
"Yeah, he's got a point," San added as he prodded his own cock into your already full hole.
"Sannie, no, don't," you started panicking when you felt him start to push his way through. "You won't fit!"
"Just take a deep breath, baby. You can fit both of us," he promised you.
You listened to his soothing voice and inhaled. As you exhaled, San pushed his cock through. Sure, he fit, but you still screamed when you felt both men's big, throbbing cocks inside you. Tears filled your eyes and trickled down your face as San bottomed out, both men wincing at how tight you were with both of them inside.
"I bet you I can last longer," Mingyu challenged San.
"Keep dreaming," San shot back.
You would've smacked the two of them silly if you weren't absolutely losing your mind in that moment. You actually found the words to yell at them, but before you could get them out, the two of them started moving. You felt like your insides were going to get pulled out by the sheer force of their cocks rubbing inside you.
When Mingyu rammed his hips upwards, you felt his cock bulge in you, making you cry loudly; and when San snapped his waist against yours, you felt your arms and legs nearly give out. They were moving slowly, but they were moving so powerfully that you felt every single movement they made vibrate through your entire body.
You don't know who did it, but stars rapidly accumulated in your vision, and you clenched around both men as you came yet again. Your crying moans filled the room, and they were accompanied by both Mingyu and San groaning loudly. When you clenched around their cocks, neither one of them could hold back anymore. They shoved their cocks deep inside you and came loudly, the three of you moaning, groaning, and crying in pleasure.
San pulled out first, and his labored breathing died down when he filled up his condom entirely. Mingyu slipped his cock out shortly thereafter and sighed heavily as his body fully relaxed below you. 
"Look at you all fucked out, cutie," Mingyu chuckled as he cupped your face.
"Mmhmm," you mustered out while nuzzling your face into his large palm.
"Hey, now. Don't go making your decision just yet," San, after throwing out his condom, returned to the living room and helped you up to your feet.
You collapsed into San's chest and clung to him, his strong arms holding you up.
"I think she should make the decision now that it's fresh in her mind," Mingyu argued with San yet again.
"Stop," you mumbled. "Don't make me choose..."
"You kind of have to, baby," San whispered.
"Can't I just have both of you?" you whined.
Both Mingyu and San looked at each other with slight surprise.
"You couldn't handle us both this one time, so how are you going to handle both of us for the rest of your life?"
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Text
our leaves must fall before our flowers can bloom (teaser)
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genre: poly hockey team!ateez x coach fem!reader, enemies/strangers to lovers, athlete!au, slow burn, fluff, angst
length: 1.0k (teaser) + approx. 38k (full fic)
c/w: sweaty ateez (warning well deserved), lots of hurt/comfort, one of the slowest slow burns to slow burn, remaining tags to be revealed with full fic
synopsis: you become the new coach of the elite men's ice hockey team, the red devils. but with both yourself and the team carrying burdens of the past, you all find it difficult to see eye to eye. as you lead them to the championships in the korean ice hockey league, you discover that teamwork and trust is not as straightforward as it seems.
a/n: when i started writing this i really thought it wouldn't exceed 25k but here we are :D full fic will be released in about a week and i am so ready
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“she’s the new coach?” yunho frowns in confusion. “no offence, but we’re not a bunch of kids for her to practise being a soccer mum to.”
“she was the assistant coach for the grey eagles,” coach cho discloses.
“the grey eagles? the under-21 men’s championship team?” yeosang looks incredulous.
mingi sceptically comments, “the fact that we’ve never seen or heard of her before probably tells us enough.”
hongjoong’s lips purse sourly as he tries his hardest to analyse the situation with the professionalism of the team’s captain. but with the sudden change in coaches and the same critiquing doubts as mingi, hongjoong cannot help but feel his personal judgement webbing over his mind. over the team’s entire career as an elite ice hockey team thus far–five years, now well into their sixth–the red devils have only ever had two coaches. coach cho has been with them for the longest and whilst it took the team a while to eventually warm up to him, he has been with them for almost quadruple the amount of time it took to trust him.
the team’s alternate captain, seonghwa, speaks to you directly, “if you don’t mind me asking, why are you not playing as an athlete yourself? you’re clearly our age–nowhere near retiring.”
you knew from the very start that your age would make your credibility as a coach much lower, and your answer to seonghwa will not help your case either. “i stopped playing.”
“how come?”
the trigger of memories fills your nose with a sharp stinging smell. you blankly reveal, “i chose to stop playing.” you know exactly how it sounds like to somebody else, even more so to professional athletes. coach cho has also told you of the team’s hardheadedness and strong will when it comes to the passions of their career, so you are expecting the cold receptiveness that you are met with.
your response strikes the wrong chord within wooyoung. there was a point in his career not too long ago when the choice of continuing to play or not was at risk of becoming a forced decision. the way you answer so callously with those very words that had threatened to tear his world apart has his jaw grinding and eyes darkening, and he is not the only athlete in the arena who feels similarly.
“i would rather choose to die before i choose to stop playing. ice hockey is my entire life and without it, i am not living either,” hongjoong jabs and you cannot help but clench your fists because you know exactly what he means. still, you stay quiet as he continues, “sorry, but i can’t respect a ‘coach’ who chose to stop playing.”
at the captain’s words and subsequent move to leave for the changerooms, the rest of the team also gather their equipment and follow his steps. san’s feet falter in front of you, expression hesitant until he decides to voice, “our team needs a bit of time. it’s hard for us to warm up to…outsiders, and i know it might not mean much to say this but we have our reasons. don’t expect us to blindly trust you just because you’re a coach.”
the use of the word ‘outsider’ does not go unnoticed as you nod, “of course.”
san jogs off to rejoin the others and coach cho hums, “guess some things haven’t changed. they were just as prickly to me when i first became their coach.”
you raise an eyebrow, “prickly? to you?”
“yes, believe it or not,” he chuckles nostalgically. “we’ve come a long way because i’ve been their coach for years now. but it took me a while before i was able to break down their walls.”
you briefly mull over the information, then ask out of curiosity, “what would you have done if i didn’t sign the contract?”
“begged you to rethink your decision,” he jokes with a pleased chortle. “i would have to start looking for a different coach, i suppose. you were my only pick.”
“but why me, of all people? there are so many other experienced coaches that you can choose from.”
he looks at you, eyes glinting with intuition and confidence as he simply says, “you’re familiar with their playing style. they play just like you used to.” at your silent processing, coach cho probes, “why didn’t you tell them the real reason?”
you smile wistfully, “i didn't tell them because i’m not here to gain their pity.”
some of the boys’ voices grow louder as they emerge from the changerooms, changed into fresh clothes and their kit bags slung over their shoulders. you hear one of them ask, “captain, is she really going to be our new coach?”
they step out from the facility’s corridor and you accidentally make eye contact with hongjoong, yet neither of you look away. maintaining a steady gaze directly at you, he responds with a slight glower, “maybe, but she’s only the coach by title. i’m still the captain of the team, so let’s see who everyone listens to.”
as they exit the rink’s arena, you feel a fire of determination growing inside of you. you have won over your own demons and you have won the championships before–this is nothing in comparison. whether your next words are for coach cho or for yourself to hear, it does not matter.
“i may not play anymore but i was still once an athlete and no athlete has ever, in their career, wanted pity. i’m here to earn the team’s respect and i will win over them, especially their captain.”
you watch the swing of the glass door as it shuts behind the players, catching a brief glimpse of the trees lining the arena’s perimeter. it is the first day of autumn when you meet the red devils for the first time and outside, the leaves are beginning to change their colours.
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itneverendshere · 8 months
Text
can't remember anything before you - rafe cameron.
request: "can you write something for rafe, where he's had a crush on topper's older sister for ages and he finally does something about it? it can be fluffy and smutty, honestly I'm just here for the plot."
pairing: rafe cameron x thornton!reader; brother's best friend! trope or best friend's sister! trope lmao; fem!reader.
word count: wrote 11 word pages i apologize;
WARNINGS: p in v; fingering; handjob; smut with feelings; smut with plot; a lot of cursing; rafe being a lover boy; mentions of slow burn like the slowest burn of his life but it pays off; mentions of voyeurism; p in v out in public??; wrote the word moan a thousand times.
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you drive him insane. 
what the hell are you doing prancing around the house in the tiniest red bikini known to mankind? 
rafe's not a creep, okay? earlier, he tried to redirect his attention, focus on anything else – the tv, the background music, even the patterns on the wallpaper – but his gaze involuntarily gravitated back to you. it's as if the universe conspires against him, pushing him to the edge of his self-control.
it's not just the stupid bikini; it's the way you carry yourself. 
it's not fair. 
it's why he secluded himself from the party an hour ago, slipping away unsuspectedly to the little private lounge you kept in your favorite area to sunbathe. he sank into a reclining chair, running his hands through his buzzed hair in frustration. 
closing his eyes for the millionth time that evening, rafe tries to summon the strength to think about you in anything except the slutty number you're wearing— and it still doesn't help. in the distance, laughter from the party echoes, a stark reminder of the festivities he chose to distance himself from. 
then, the hidden door creaks open, and without looking, he knows it's you. 
it's your spot after all. maybe this was a terrible idea.
the subtle scent of your sunscreen wafts through the air, and the sound of footsteps approaches. rafe's heart quickens, torn between the desire to get the fuck away from you and your scent that urges him to stay. he keeps his eyes closed for a moment longer, clinging to the darkness as if it can shield him from you.
completely fucked. he's so fucked. 
you settle into a nearby chair, and the silence between you is almost comforting. almost. because that sleazy bikini of yours is still very much imprinted into his brain. rafe finally musters the courage to open his eyes, only to meet yours the second he does. 
it takes an unbelievable amount of willpower to fight the groan in his throat when he realizes your arms are crossed and doing absolutely nothing to hide your tits. the world seems to narrow down to the glistening droplets of water on your skin, the curve of your body. his gaze trails down and he almost folds on the spot.
oh, for fuck's sake.
the reclining chair suddenly feels like a throne of thorns. he should've gone home. ogling you is nothing new in his book, it's what he does best, but now that you've spent the entire summer together...having you all to himself after years of barely catching a glimpse of you during the holidays or summer breaks in the outer banks, rafe knows that it's not just a stupid crush on his best friend's older sister.
it's not just a fleeting desire, it's something that has been brewing inside him for years, and the eye of its right here. 
"you, okay?"
rafe almost jumps out of his skin, as your voice breaks the silence. he hesitates, finding it difficult to find the right words when you're looking at him with your pretty eyes. 
he clears his throat, attempting to regain his composure, "yeah, yeah. i'm...i'm good." rafe replies, his voice rougher than he intends.
your pouty lip’s part, perhaps ready to probe further, but he can't let you mess with his head.
"just needed a breather from the party, y'know?" he adds, hoping the casual tone will deflect you from analyzing him like one of your books. you're the only one who always saw through the layers he wrapped around himself. 
too fucking smart for you own good. 
you tilt your head slightly, exposing your pretty neck, "were my cocktails that bad?"
there's an underlying teasing undertone, and he can't help but let out a small, rueful chuckle, "nah, don't think they could be bad even if you tried, peach." he replies, a sheepish grin playing on his lips.
your heart races at the sight of him. he’s gorgeous. no one should be allowed to look this good, especially with a shaved head and a three-day stubble. you'd like to blame the drinks for luring your nasty thoughts out, but you know this, is entirely on you.
weird, right? 
this was rafe cameron. the little rafe cameron who grew up down the street from you, the insufferable kid your brother brought along to every single-family vacation and had the biggest crush on you when you were seventeen. the metamorphosis from the boy to the captivating man seated before you makes you head hurt.
he's a man now, the prettiest you've ever seen, and it only took him one summer to have you under his palm. 
his phone looks so small in his large hands, your gaze follows the veins lining the back of them as his fingers nimbly play with the screen.
"am i boring you?" you ask, leaning your head back into the chair, his perfume, replica jazz club you assume, wafts over you and it takes everything in you not to drop your face into his buff chest and just inhale him, "you haven't spoken a word to me all day."
there's a slight buzz from the alcohol in your veins that allows you to ask the questions you'd never ask if you were sober. 
rafe runs his hand across his jaw, analyzing you slowly. "'course i have."
you scoff, feigning nonchalance. "no, you haven't. it's like you're avoiding me."
rafe's heart skips a beat. "avoiding you? m'not avoiding you."
you raise a perfect eyebrow, challenging him, "really?"
rafe shifts uncomfortably in the chair, his gaze flickering between your eyes and the tempting curves that the tiny red bikini accentuates. 
"is it because raven is here?"
his eyes are busy tracing the lines of your features with an unwavering dedication. he's never been the best at multitasking when in your presence. he sees your lips moving but can't wrap his head around what you asked.
when he catches your eye again, there's a subtle blush gracing your cheeks, but you don't look away, "who?"
"raven. your ex? the girl you were fucking on spring break?"
rafe's eyes widen comically, surprise and discomfort settling on his face. he shifts in his chair again, as you've catch him off guard. how the fuck did he forget you knew about raven? 
"oh, uh, raven. yeah—i mean no! no, no, it's not about her. we're not a thing anymore," he stammers out, fingers scratching his stubble, "that was a spring break thing."
you sit up straighter, the tequila and curiosity-fueling your boldness, "a spring break thing, huh?"
you pray to god he can't pinpoint the jealousy coating your words. 
his jaw slightly slackens, forming an unintentional expression of awe as you move your legs, once again momentarily losing the ability to form coherent thoughts. beads of sweat form on his forehead as he struggles to maintain composure. 
the heat is not helping his situation at all. 
when the silence becomes a little too overbearing for you, you can't shake the growing unease that you might be unintentionally bothering rafe's peace. your words flowed, but you notice a subtle glaze over his blue eyes, a distant look that hints at his mind wandering elsewhere. 
is he thinking about raven?
you adjust your posture, nervously fiddling with the bracelet on your arm, a subtle sign of your growing discomfort, "do you want me to leave?"
rafe's eyes snap back to you, the fleeting moment of distraction replaced by a sudden intensity. he blinks a few times, as if trying to shake off the mental fog that had settled, "'course not," there's a hint of urgency in his voice. he doesn't want you to leave, and that realization tightens the knots in his stomach, "always want your company."
this is unbearable. you've gotten him on a tight leash, and you don't even know.
his tone makes your lips twitch, and you press them together to keep from smiling, "aww, look at you being nice to me, it's like you're sixteen all over again."
an involuntary groan escapes his throat, the sound automatically making you clench your thighs. 
"you remember that?"
"course i do, you're the only guy who's ever gifted me flowers."
that's because you've only dated douchebags, it's what he wants to tell you, but he doesn't because it's none of his business. 
"how much have you had to drink?"
you smirk, "a little. how much have you had to drink?"
he trails his eyes up you higher, gliding up your tummy, over your tits, right up to your throat, "a little."
a subtle awareness tingles at the back of your senses and that's when it hits you. 
rafe is staring at you. 
he's not shy about it; his eyes trail over you, leaving a tangible heat in their wake, practically eating you alive and you have to take another look to confirm you're not being a delusional bitch. so maybe... you did wear this bikini hoping he would finally do something, that he'd finally understand that you want him. 
you've spent the entire summer teasing him. seeing if you could get a rise, hit the right button. 
you quirk a brow at him, amusement curling at the corners of your lips, "bikini's nice, isn't it?"
he clears his throat, a subtle rasp betraying the restraint he's trying to maintain. 
"yeah, it's...it's something," he replies, the words slightly breathless. he crosses his arms across his chest, biceps big enough to make you want to climb him like a tree. 
you lean forward propping yourself on one of your elbows, making sure he gets a fantastic view of your cleavage, "you know, rafe, you've been pretty quiet."
his lips, naturally inviting, become the focal point as he bites down on the lower one, "just...taking in the view, i guess." he mumbles, his gaze momentarily darting away before locking onto you again.
rafe feels like he's fourteen again, unable to hold a conversation with a pretty girl like you. except he's twenty-two and he should know better. you're going to give him a stroke. 
"the view, huh?” your eyes widen in mock-surprise, “and do you like what you see?" you ask.
he swallows hard. uh-oh, is he really about to do this? 
"you know i do." he admits, the admission laced with a raw honesty that takes you by surprise.
got him right where you want him.
you decide to push the boundaries a bit further, your voice dropping to a sultry tone, fingers playfully tracing the edge of the bikini strap.
"wasn't sure about the red, but it's your favorite color."
his head whips back around and he swears he hears a crack. if he wasn't fully hard before, he is now. 
you both know you meant what you said, not just a heat-of-the-moment confession. his gaze is fixed on you and his eyebrows are pushed together in a painful expression and he just keeps shaking his head.
he opens his mouth, takes a slow, shuddering breath that you feel through every inch of your body and leans forward, hands gripping the arms of the chair for dear life, "peach."
there's an underlying warning in his voice, begging you to take a step back and rethink this entire thing, but quite frankly, you're tired of thinking. as matter of fact, you're done making excuses not to fuck rafe.
he exhales a shaky breath, "you're playing with fire, y'know that?" his voice is low, it only spurs the warning and longing lingering inside you.
you're both breathless and you haven't even touched each other.
it's time you deliver the final nail to the coffin.
"you're gonna do something about it or do i have to find someone else?"
the realization eventually sinks in: you want him. you want him as desperately as he wants you. you've pushed him to the edge, and there's no turning back now.
his hands are on you before you can blink again, roaming fingers locking around your wrist to pull you towards him, knocking his phone to the ground in the process, but he doesn't care, everything's background noise when you stumble into his lap, pretty legs dangling to the sides. his hands wrap around your torso, pulling you closer, chest to chest, fingers digging into your hips like he's trying to convince himself you're not an illusion. 
the world narrows down to the heat of his touch, the electrifying sensation of his fingers on your skin. you feel the rapid beat of his heart against your chest, mirroring your own anticipation.
rafe's eyes, lock onto yours, a silent agreement passing between you.
"y'sure about this?" he whispers, voice a low growl, but the vulnerability in his eyes makes you want to kiss him stupid.
his hands, which had been restless before, find a purpose as his fingertips brush the skin of your face lightly, caressing your chin between his thumb and forefinger before his eyes sweep up to meet your own.
"please." the words come out like a plea.
“please, what?" he asks, so smug you almost punch him, "gotta tell me what you want, hm?"
“kiss me.”
and then his lips are on yours. it's more than just kissing; it's a fusion of desires, an electric current that drags you under. rafe's touch is confident, yet tender, as if he is unraveling a secret, delicate treasure. your senses heighten, catching the subtle nuances of his warm breath mingling with yours.
rafe's kiss is a slow burn, a deliberate exploration that leaves trails of heat in its wake. there's an artistry to the way he traces the contours of your lips, teasing and coaxing, building a crescendo of anticipation, rendering you breathless.
the lounge chair becomes a battleground of hands and lips, a frenzied exchange of desires unleashed, an intensity that borders on desperate, as if trying to capture and savor every moment. your fingers trace along his arms, and his hands explore every inch of your body, as if mapping out the territory he's yearned for.
his lips leave a trail of fire along your jawline, down to your collarbone, and you suppress a cry, the sensation sending shivers down your spine. the summer nighttime air feels heavy, thick with the scent of sunscreen and the heady aroma of desire.
rafe breaks the kiss for a moment, his breath hot against your skin. 
you’re both panting, breathing so hard that your heaving chests touch with every breath.
"been driving me insane all summer, y'know that?" he admits, a husky edge to his voice, throat bobbing, "so fucking insane." he whispers into your neck.
he can't even think straight with your ass firmly pressed against him.
you attempt to keep an even voice, but nonchalance escapes you for the time being. "that was the plan all along."
rafe chuckles, a low, throaty sound that resonates through you, feeling the warmth of his breath against your ear, "god, gonna be the death of me."
there’s no time to reply because he leans his head and catches your lips faster this time. 
he tilts your head down, applying a little bit of pressure to your mouth. your lips part again, and so do his. he swallows your moan into his mouth, and eases his tongue into you, urgently exploring every crevice of your mouth, hand slipping from your cheek and resting at the column of your neck, fingers kneading the back of it.
you press your body further into his and you can feel every inch of him vibrating, his entire body pulsing with need. his skin feels so hot against yours, he’s unbearably hard and you’re positively dying to get your hands on every single inch of his skin.
your nails scrape against his scalp and you squeak in shock as rafe’s hips surge upwards, forcing his hard cock against you. the unabashed moan he lets slip is sinful and it’s all you want to hear for the rest of your life. you can’t stop the urge building up inside you, you’re not even certain you can stop moving your hips even if you wanted to.
his hands dig into the plush of your thighs and he restrains himself, you deserve better than to get fucked out here. he watches closely, hypnotized by the way you begin rubbing yourself onto him, the outline of his cock grazing back and forth between your covered folds.
“baby, we can—can’t, jesu—not here.”
the new pet name makes you feral for him.
you trace a finger up the column of his throat, sending a shiver down his spine, you don’t stop moving your hips, watching his eyes flutter every time you rub just the right way.
“why not?”
rafe groans, head falling back to the chair, “here?”
it’s almost funny how he’s willing to bend over every decision he’s ever made in his life, just for you. he’s letting you dry hump him right here, when your brother, his best friend and god knows who can walk in at any given moment. 
you nod pathetically, brain turned into mush, “can’t wait any longer.”
“stop saying shit like that.” he warns you through gritted teeth, “fuck.”
the needy sound that rips through your chest when his hands leave your thighs echoes in his mind.
“peach”, he begins, roaming hand brushing up the back of your thigh and squeezing the flesh just below the swell of your rear, “y’have a problem with control."
both your lips are swollen pink and ridden with spit.
“like you’re any better.”
you’re such a brat. 
rafe grabs your chin and tilts your head, so you have to look into his pretty eyes, “let’s not make any noise, yeah?” his lips create a path up your throat, hands on your ass, kneading and pushing so he can grind you all over his growing bulge.
you whimper, rocking harder on him and wrapping your arms around his neck. you just want him to touch you. his hips roll slowly, rubbing his hard-on lazily and mindlessly. he can't help but send a rough smack on your ass, smirking at your surprised yelp.
“just touch me,” you grip his shoulder harder, holding on for dear life as his hands trail back, the bits of his nails scraping along your naked thighs. 
they catch the waistband of your bikini bottoms. he traces your clit over the fabric feeling the warm, wet patch you’re leaving in them and then he teasingly slips his fingers underneath, swiping them along your slit, thumb, and index finger opening your pussy to his gaze. 
this time he swallows hard, seeing your pussy pink and glistening for him. 
“’m touching you, peach,” his touch, and scent, cloud your vision, the soft sounds of his labored breath singing in your ears as he leans down to press wet-mouthed kisses to your neck, “m touching you.”
”more,” you whine, lips barely parted, drawing out another salacious moan from him. “fuck.”
“like this?” he whispers against your lips, words hoarse and murmured, watching your eyes soften and brows twist, features becoming pliant under his enamored gaze, “you’re so fucking wet.” he tsk under his breath, shaking his head in the typical rafe cameron condescending way.
he presses a finger inside of you, slowly stretching out your tight hole. you groan, and his eyes roll back at the way your walls stretch around him. so fucking tight. you rock harder against him, fucking yourself into his finger and wrapping your arms around his neck again. you just want to feel him against you.
his half-lidded eyes look up at you as you contort on top of him, feeling overstimulated, with a single finger. 
he coos, his other hand sweeping over the back of your head sweetly, pushing back stray sweaty hairs. he nudges your nose with his, hand on the back of your neck, and tries to meet your eye. the squelch as his finger fucks into you, fast and deep, is the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard.
“rafe—“ you hand grips his wrist as your eyes roll back when his fingers find that spot.
“t’s good?”
“so good,” you whine loudly, he’s cocky tone only adding to his allure. 
you can feel the stretch it takes just to take his finger, rutting into you, curling perfectly.  
he thinks it might be the sweetest thing he’s ever witnessed – your voice when you’re being fucked. you’re gushing around his digits, hands now clutching his shoulders. it’s like you can’t stop moving them, needing to feel every ridge of his body. 
rafe adds another finger, pressing the tips of his middle and ring finger against that soft, spongy part deep inside and grins when you cry out his name.
“fuck,” you cry out against his skin dragging your lips up his throat, over his jaw, before finding purchase at his lips in a kiss that devours all air in your lungs. your fingers curl around the band of his bathing shorts, enjoying the slight whine that slips past his lips.
“let me touch you,” you plead, words muffled by the way your tongue can’t seem to leave his skin alone, teeth grazing along where his neck and shoulder meet. you nip at the area, before daring to swipe your tongue along his neck, sucking the tender flesh with your teeth. 
holy fuck, are you marking him?
“oh god."
a third finger, your hips now rutting against him.
“hickeys, baby? that territorial, huh?” his hand slows for a moment, twisting so he can thumb at your clit before he continues, both motions in tandem. you cry out, eyes screwed close, hips shoving forward, “you look so pretty like this," rafe whispers against your skin, his full-blown pupils looking up at you through his long lashes.
“i want more”
“every little sound you make goes straight down to my cock,” he’s rubbing his cock so perfectly against your clit again, only making you whine more desperately for him. he places a chaste kiss on the corner of your mouth, just so he can see you blindly chase after his lips. 
and then, you feel empty. 
he lets his fingers slide all the way out and his throat tightens at the feel of you bearing down, trying to hold on to him as he withdraws completely. he ignores your protests and drags his thick fingers across your wet folds. when he feels satisfied with the coat around his fingers, he moves them toward your face, letting them trail over your lips.
“gon’ open up f’me?”
you gasp, but obey immediately, tongue darting out to lick your slick off his fingers. rafe doesn’t hold back his groan, watching your tongue swirling around his digits. he throws whatever concerns he had over your noises out the window.
he’s too lost in your body to care if someone finds you two or not. 
as a matter of fact, let them see. god knows he’s dying to show those bastards you belong to him anyway. he wants you all to himself, wants the whole world to know you’re his.
“so, so, so good,” he praises, closing the gap, lips molding right into yours again. his hands find home in your throat, adding just right the amount of pressure to make you sigh against his lips.
rafe smirks, brushing a finger along your skin, should’ve guessed his pretty peach had kink for praises. your tummy is in a knot because he’s running his hands along your body, and you just need to have him.
you clumsily slip his shorts and boxers down, just enough to touch him, and he raises his hips automatically helping you slide them down, his cock springing out of his confines to lightly hit against his abdomen.
you break the kiss, needing to look at him. 
and you’re so glad you do, because rafe has the most perfect dick you’ve ever seen. you catch yourself staring at him, devouring every part of his body with your eyes.
he feels his heartbeat faster, face flush when your eyes are back on his face as you softly wrap one of you manicured hands around him, just slightly, slow pumps. but it’s more than enough to make him drop his head back, adam’s apple bobbing, brows pitched together.
“good?” you ask him, keeping the pace so you can feel him throb in your hand.
“everything’s good when it’s you peach,” he grunts out, and the way his abs seem to recoil makes your tongue slide across your bottom lip, “fucking perfect.”
your thumb smears precum across his tip, bending forward to ghost your lips over his, “need you inside me.”
the way rafe’s jaw drops open in a silent moan when you tighten your hold around him is beautiful, searing itself in the back of your mind. 
settling on his lower lip, you draw it into your mouth, sucking softly, moving your hips even closer. he runs his hands along your sides, one stopping just below your breasts—the other one flicking your nipple with his thumb.
you keep your eyes open, needing to memorize every single moment. his breath comes down on your lips in heavy pants, fingers teasing your skin, hums of pleasure circling both of you. 
“want me inside you?” his voice sounds so husky it makes you want to cry, “want me to fil you up?”
your hand leaves his cock, pulling him to you by his shoulders, and he braces himself with one hand on your waist, another on the chair.
he runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek, “that bad?”
“don’t tease me,” you struggle to produce words, hands winding through his chest, “waited long enough.”
rafe holds his cock by the base, running it up and down your pussy, “not longer than i have.”
you sink down onto him, biting your lip at the slow pressure, the pleasant stretch that pulls at your middle. you can feel tears brimming your eyes from pure relief and he feels like every single fiber of his being is scorching. 
he can feel just how deep he his, his fingers clutching at the flesh of your hips like his life depends on it, “fuck. that’s it, baby.”
your hands are placed firmly on his stomach, and one of his glides up right up to your throat, pulling you down to his chest. all you can properly let out of your mouth are pleas and whimpers. the stretch is on the edge of painful, but he fits so perfectly inside of you. you huff a short breath when he’s all the way in.
“you okay?” he asks against your ear, softly biting the lobe.
your answer is a desperate roll of your hips, “perfect.”
you begin to move your hips up and down, as the stretch gives way to something delirious, and rafe takes mercy on you, beginning to thrust back up into you, his rhythm building up until your mouth falls open again into a pretty moan, until sweat shines on the high points of his perfectly sculpted face. every time your skin touches his it’s fucking scorching, and the stretch is agonizing, and the heavy air is suffocating but then he’s bottoming out and you feel your brain go fuzzy. 
you’re wrapped around him so tight it makes his moves sloppy, almost mindless but so deep it knocks the air out of your lungs.
“waited so long for you,” one hand on the curve of your hip, the other along your jaw, lips hungrily working over yours, swallowing your gentle whimpers, your soft, sweet pleas vibrating against his tongue, “have no idea what you do to me.”
his confession only makes you drag yourself harder against him, clit brushing against his pubic bone, “rafe!”
“that’s it,” he coos, tone gentle, the friction too overwhelming, “so beautiful.”
the strain in his voice makes you want to stay like this forever.
you tighten around him further, letting your nails rake down his chest. rafe grunts, thrusting harder, shifting you closer to him as humanly possible. you feel his stomach and thighs clench, and his hips sputter, “you’re so deep.”
he presses his hand against your stomach, feeling the bulge, “might fuck a baby into you,” he rasps, thumb catching against your clit, “let them know you’re mine.”
“yours,” he’s trailing kisses along your collarbone until he reaches your tits, leaving a line of soft, wet suckles behind, “only yours.” 
the way he’s stroking you unrushed is absolutely toe-curling, guiding you over his cock with very little maneuvering, gently pushing your hips down onto him.
“gonna keep you here, stuffed, for hours baby.”
you can hear it reverberating through the night air. 
the slap of skin, the grunts. the sound of the chair creaking as he fucks you into it. each delicious slip, every time you feel his veiny shaft twitching for attention against your walls. you’re so lightheaded you might pass out.
rafe feels his balls tighten. you are creaming so fast, squeezing the hell out of his cock. he’s making sure to put your pleasure before his, hitting all the right spots.
“rafe, baby—" his name being moaned out by you is urging him to bust inside you, his eyes narrowing slightly as his grip on your hips tightens, “oh—im gon—fuckk.”
he only pushes you faster up and down his dick as your walls grip around him, a mix of your cream and his pre-cum coating his length. his eyes focus on your face, basking in the pretty expressions you make.
“it’s too much.” you whine, feeling your orgasm about to reach itself. rafe’s eyes glimmer at your words, tracing a thumb against your lips before sneaking a kiss onto your mouth.
“you can take it,” his muscles flex from the constant friction. you’re so full, all you can think about is rafe spilling inside of you, “c’mon.”
his cock thrusts even deeper, a sharp hiss leaving his lips at the way your pussy tightens. his calloused thumb wipes away a stray tear. he loves the sting of your nails practically sinking into his skin. he tangles his hand in your hair, forcing your neck to arch up as he leans in, biting hard enough to leave a mark.
“im—m—gonn—” you feel him right at your womb again and again, any semblance of sanity melted away the moment he set his hands on you, “holy fuck.”
“i know baby, keep your eyes on me,” you with your perfect tits bouncing with each roll and grind of your hips is enough to make a grown man cry, “eyes on me.”
you lean back, supporting yourself with your hands on his thighs, circling your hips and doing your best not to close your eyes. the burning inside you is so strong, it’s taking you everything not to close them.
his hands slide around your back when he sits up suddenly, and you gasp, “oh my god.”
the pace has both of you panting, his balls slapping your ass every single time. a shiver runs down your spine and you throw your head back and almost scream out his name. 
he chuckles breathlessly, “never getting tired of that sound.”
you can feel yourself starting to reach the edge of your climax, grinding harder and harder into him and gasping with each spark of pleasure it gives your throbbing clit. each time he hits your g-spot just right, you feel more and more slick dribbling out of you and down your thighs. 
“so fucking pretty,” he groans, punctuating each word with a deep thrust and you feel that tight coil in your belly snapping.
“fuck—rafe,” you pant heavily, breathy whines falling from your lips, legs starting to give out. “oh mhmf—don’t stop!”
your thighs are shaking and seizing as it finally its you, at full force. you squirm in his hold, feeling an almost overwhelming wave of pleasure wash over your body. the feeling’s so intense it’s almost painful. rafe’s arms hold you tight, keeping you grounded while you shudder in his grasp, his fingers determined to prolong your ecstasy.
his piercing blue eyes stay trained on yours the entire time, “knew you could do it.”
he doesn’t let up his pace, pressing chaste kisses to your lips to soothe you. 
“wonder how many of those i can get out of you.”
long night ahead of you. 
______________________________________________________________
might have some grammar mistakes, frankly im not sure at this point lmao, it's late. english's not my first language, it's my third i think. will edit later bc i spent hours writing this and my old ass needs to sleep, thank you for reading <3 by the time im posting this, over 200 of you voted they wanted smut so y'all won, tried best to deliver the goods. also rafe's not mentally unstable in this one, in case that wasn't obvious, he's just a little too in love and cute.
let me know if you enjoy it and if i should start taking requests more frequently!
ps: that picture is how i imagined rafe throughout this whole thing
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kujo1597 · 2 years
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Something I keep in mind while writing the world’s slowest slow burn is that Jerrica is bi, but repressed. She absolutely is attracted to girls, she just doesn’t realize it. She just thinks she’s admiring their beauty or their personalities. She’s only ever been in love with Rio after all. ...Right?
And after Jerrica realizes “Oh shit, I’m attracted to another woman” she goes a little in denial for a bit. Talking to Kimber helps clear things up for her.
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gibberishfangirl · 2 months
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WIND BREAKER | heart breaker
Synopsis ✰ head cannons of the boys falling for a notorious heart breaker
Characters ✰ Haruka Sakura, Hajime Umemiya, Hayato Suo, Akihiko Nirei, Jo Togame, Choji Tomiyama
Contains ✰ sfw! content of the boys being down bad for someone they shouldn’t be/isn’t good for them
★ inspired by bubblegum bitch by marina ★
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Haruka Sakura ᡣ𐭩
★ i’m the girl you’d die for ★
♡ fell in love before he even knew it
♡ down bad horrendously
♡ he’ll do anything for you
♡ he’s heard the rumors before meeting you but chose to ignore them and get to know you
♡ was a blushing mess once you started giving him all your attention
♡ you found his shyness and his ability to get easily flustered charming
♡ he was different to you
♡ you fell for him before you knew it
♡ acted like a couple before you two were official
♡ even after you made it official his feelings never changed
♡ he was completely whipped
♡ he got teased a lot for being so in love
♡ he fell first but you fell harder (and he doesn’t even know it)
♡ in awe by your beauty 24/7
♡ 100% loses himself while admiring you
♡ finds it hard to concentrate around you
♡ has the urge to protect you from the world
♡ after you met him no other guy ever caught your attention again
♡ definitely fought any ex who couldn’t accept you moved on
Hajime Umemiya ᡣ𐭩
★ hit me with your sweet love, steal me with a kiss ★
♡ he was well aware of your reputation
♡ didn’t let it sway him
♡ didn’t fall in love until you kissed him
♡ he thought you were the sweetest person to exist
♡ couldn’t believe someone as nice as you could ever be known as a “heart-breaker”
♡ friends to lovers
♡ once he got taste of you he wanted more
♡ secretly craved your attention and love
♡ learned that you never purposefully hurt anyone
♡ you got your reputation from men with fragile egos
♡ he was glad he didn’t listen to the rumors
♡ you actually never even had a boyfriend
♡ he was your first love
♡ he defended you against everyone
♡ “you don’t know her”
♡ “you shouldn’t listen to rumors before getting to know someone.”
♡ would get annoyed if anyone tried to get in between you two
♡ you made the first move
Hayato Suo ᡣ𐭩
★ dear diary, i met a boy he made my doll heart light up with joy ★
♡ you fell first
♡ he didn’t know that you had a reputation
♡ something about him made him stick out more
♡ you didn’t want anyone but him
♡ he thought you were beautiful at first sight
♡ was the only boy who could ever make you blush
♡ you dropped the guy who you were originally talking to for him
♡ he made you feel seen
♡ he made your heart flutter with his genuine love
♡ was the first boy who wanted you for you
♡ didn’t rush you into anything like every other guy did
♡ slow burn
♡ you craved attention, he was willing to give you all of his and more
♡ he made you feel comfortable and loved
♡ the slowest paced relationship you had in the best way possible
♡ his love was soft and gentle
♡ you needed someone like him in your life
♡ helped heal your past wounds
Akihiko Nirei ᡣ𐭩
★ i’ll chew you up and i’ll spit you out ★
♡ he knew you could ruin him
♡ didn’t stop him from wanting you
♡ took the chance of getting hurt anyway
♡ he loved you more than he loved himself
♡ you changed for him (don’t worry you did not break his heart thankfully)
♡ you were moved by how kind and loyal he was towards you
♡ he never judged you
♡ the kindest boy you’ve ever met
♡ you never smiled as much as you did when you were around him
♡ everyone was surprised to see how gentle you’ve become since meeting him
♡ you two communicated very well
♡ he never got mad at you which meant everything to you
♡ handled your emotions with care and respect
♡ never made you feel like you were too much or not enough
♡ he motivated you to become better each day
♡ you never want to hurt him
♡ you ended up falling for him harder in the long run
Jo Togame ᡣ𐭩
★ pull me closer and kiss me hard ★
♡ he was determined to make you fall for him
♡ thought you were the most beautiful person on the planet
♡ knew you just had bad experiences
♡ didn’t trust the rumors because most guys you dated weren’t great guys
♡ he wanted to be utterly consumed by you
♡ his love was strong and gentle, almost consuming but not suffocating
♡ once he had you, he wouldn’t let you go
♡ made it a point to let everyone know you were his
♡ proud to call you his
♡ never ashamed of you
♡ he never wanted to remember what it was like to be without you
♡ easily became your safe space
♡ his presence made you feel free
♡ never brought up your reputation or past relationships
♡ he didn’t care about the past, he only cares about the future you two have
♡ wouldn’t be afraid to tell an ex to get over it
♡ “shoulda realized what you had before, not my problem”
Choji Tomiyama ᡣ𐭩
★ don’t care if you think i’m dumb, i don’t care at all ★
♡ he loved your confidence
♡ others couldn’t keep up with you in relationships, they’d become too insecure with the amount of attraction you have
♡ thought everyone else was dumb for judging you
♡ he wanted you even if others thought he was dumb for liking you
♡ you two matched each other’s energy perfectly
♡ a match made in heaven/hell (your pick tbh)
♡ he wanted to show you off
♡ was proud he had such a pretty thing that he could call his
♡ isn’t afraid to check someone
♡ would never hold you back
♡ never made you feel like you were doing too much
♡ he wanted you to be as free as possible
♡ never questioned your past relationships, unless an ex came back into your life
♡ would 100% beat up your ex if needed
♡ expect constant laughter and smiles whenever you two were near each other
♡ he definitely made you happiest you’ve ever been
♡ if there was ever a moment you felt down about yourself he’d be there to pick you right up
a/n <3 : i might write a part 2 to this ? maybe with some angst and the scenario of a break up happening??? idkkk lmk, i hate writing sad stuff </3 but it’s speaking to meeee!!! ill prolly tone it down 100% if it happens, send help
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halemerry · 1 year
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I just keep thinking about God watching Aziraphale and Crowley on the wall and grinning like mad as She puts Operation Lovebird into play by making it rain only to spend the next 6000 years slowly losing it as they proceed to do the worlds slowest slow burn.
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revasserium · 1 month
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Why does this scream second chance romance?
reqs are open!
at first sight
hayato suo; 6,284 words; fluff, slight angst, fem!reader, no "y/n", passing mentions of divorce, childhood friends to lovers, hurt/comfort (a little), the slowest of burns, suo is a simp, introspection, more plot than not
summary: and isn’t it strange, that a person doesn’t have to be dead to serve a haunting, how there only need be absence and sorrow and the utterly world-ending ache of what used to be?
a/n: this was not supposed to be this long or this self-indulgent but welp.
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He sees you sometimes in his dreams, in the spaces right before he falls asleep — that sweet, weightless, liminal space where anything and everything is possible, even probable. He sees the shape of your laughter, feels the weight of your breath, can almost taste the sugarplum sweetness of your smile. He’d lose himself, then, in the firefly lights of your eyes.
On those nights, he wakes up with a scream curdling up the back of his throat like soured milk.
Because no matter how hard he tries to hold onto the good memories, the ones bathed in the precious, pale gold of summer sun, truth always slips through like a sharp, silver knife. Cold. Ruthless. Unrelenting.
“— so, I know we don’t know each other very well but… you’ve done so much for our shop and my grandma is so grateful and… it always makes me so happy to see you come by —”
The girl in front of him is pretty, in the delicate, unassuming way that all young girls might be called pretty. She is dark, pin-straight hair and thin-rimmed glasses. Suo can tell that she’s put on a sparkly sheen of lip-gloss just for this occasion. Her cheeks are tinted sunset pink; there’s a letter in her hands.
“Thank you,” he says, dipping his head, his hand linked behind his back, his expression schooled into one of polite affectation, the most gentle rejection. He listens to her run herself out, babbling on about visits and admiration and the shape of him outside the shop window, how her heart would skip a beat. He finds himself, wistfully, thinking about the shape of you — when you were small enough to wiggle under the fence in his backyard, dirt caked under your nails, your hair always chopped short, one of your front teeth missing as you tossed pebbles at his windows.
“I’m… sorry,” he says, finally, when the girl presses the letter into the center of his chest, bowing low enough for her long silky hair to cover her face. He slowly folds his fingers over the letter, giving her hand a squeeze as he presses it back towards her.
“B-but…” she looks up; there are tears in her eyes, “why…?”
“I suppose,” he says, voice light and conversational, almost as if he were remarking on the weather, “I’m just not the dating type.”
The girl mumbles something before sniffling and wiping at her eyes. She is, Suo admits, not a very pretty crier. But then again, he thinks, most people aren’t. She nods again, as if to herself, clutching her unopened letter to her chest before dropping into another deep bow and dashing off. Suo can hear the clipped echoes of her sobs as she races down the near empty streets, and he sighs.
He turns on his heels and makes his slow way back to his own house, the place small and empty, but clean. The single wooden shelf is lined with books, alphabetized. His futon is folded neatly in his closet. He goes through the motions of making tea, pouring the boiling water over the dried leaves, watching them unfurl. He breathes in deep and thinks of you —
You were the one who first taught him how to brew tea, your small hands not yet big enough to hold a teapot proper, but whatever you’d lacked in skill, you made up for in determination. He’d always admired that about you, the sheer recklessness of your nature that bled, somehow, into courage in his young mind.
“Careful! It’s hot…” he’d warned, reaching out to catch your wrist, but too late, the water had already spilled a little and you wince, but you don’t let go, your arms quaking as you set the scalding teapot down, biting down on your lips to keep from crying out.
“I know it’s hot! But you gotta use hot water if you wanna make good tea!”
And there, through the misty haze of steam rising from the pair of cups, sitting across the table from you, Suo thinks you’re the most beautiful creature in the entire world.
He loses you, he reflects, the same way he loses most things in his life — accidentally and to the well-tempered beat of fate from which no one can escape. One minute you were right there in front of him and the next, well…
“Moving…?” he says the word as if he’d never heard it before. You sigh, nodding, staring listlessly into empty space, your knees curled up and pressed into your chest, your chin propped on your crossed arms.
Suo blinks, “But… where are you moving to?”
You shrug, “Tokyo, I think,” you say the word with a soft resignation only found in those who have seen and lost, seen and lost again. Suo thinks he understands; looking back, he’s not sure he did just then.
“Because of… your dad’s work?”
“Yeah. He says that if his company does well there, we’d be ‘set for life’ — whatever that means,” you say, picking at a bit of invisible lint on your sleeves.
“But… what about your mom? And the teashop?”
You purse your lips, mulling over your words as if you’ve got a sour cherry pit caught beneath your tongue.
“She says… she can’t leave it. So… she’s staying here.”
“Oh,” Suo says, sitting back against his bedroom wall. Even back then, he was smart enough to understand the implications.
You nod.
Judging by the look on your face, so are you.
“So… when…” he can’t really make out the words; there’s something stuck in his throat that feels oddly like an entire handful of sand.
“End of the month,” you say, finally looking up at him to catch his eyes. And there, he sees the insurmountable sadness, the longing he’d sometimes catch a glimpse of in the slanted summer light. As if you’re waiting for him to do something, to say something. He could never figure out what exactly it was you’d wanted him to do. To say.
Stay.
He’d later realize.
Please.
He’d repeat the words to himself in the encroaching dark, lying on his futon, watching the light cast on his walls go from white to gray to gold, and slowly, sinking into cool, hollow blackness.
Don’t go.
He mouths the words until he can almost taste the shape of them on his tongue. He swallows around them like a fistful of sand, flips onto his side, and tries to go to sleep.
You appear before him like a daydream, a near mirage in the summer heat. One second, he’s laughing with Nirei at something Sakura’s said, and the next, he’s standing stock still, staring at the end of the street where he’s sure he’d just seen you —
You look older now, but then so does he, and your hair is longer, but the shape of your laughter, the light of your eyes — he wouldn’t miss those anywhere. Not then, not now, not ever. Even after all these years.
“Suo-san…?” Nirei peers up into his face, tugging on his sleeve.
“Hm? Oh sorry — I just thought —” he glances back at the end of the street. Just a large van and a few young workers, hauling things out from the back.
“Oh, there’s a new teahouse opening in town! That must be them, moving in!” Nirei says, cheerful and oblivious as always.
“What’s a teahouse do, anyway?” Sakura asks, picking at his ear and flicking something off the end of his pinky.
“Uhm… make tea?” Nirei offers.
“Yeah, but don’t we all know how to make — where the hell’s he goin’?”
Suo takes off down the street, whipping passed their usual haunts, the taiyaki shop, the okonomiyaki stand, Pothos cafe, to the corner of the street, just where the sidewalk threatens to curve into some more residential place —
“Oi!” Sakura calls after him but he doesn’t listen.
There — that sound. Sugarplum and silver bells.
The space is undone, the door propped open with a wooden crate, the young men with the moving company tutting as they grunt and step around Suo to carry more boxes into the space, setting them down along the walls.
“— there’s good, oh no — not that one — that one goes… oh here’s good! Thanks!”
You.
He sees you like something from his wildest daydreams, the shape of you in smoke and stardust — the light twisting and twining around you as if it knows, treating you differently than it might all the other people and objects in the room, focusing around you to paint you in richer tones, in brighter lights and deeper shadows. The air seems to gather around you like a held breath.
And for a moment, Suo himself forgets quite completely that he himself might need to breathe as well.
You turn your eyes on him and the world seems to shift focus like a camera lens shifting zoom. Everything blurs, sound slows, drags, distorts. The room around you fades until it’s nothing more than a suggestion of shapes and space.
Suo sucks in a breath.
“Sorry — we’re not quite open y…”
Your voice trails off, and vaguely, Suo thinks that you sound different than you did before. But there’s still the same lovely cadence to your words, the rounded edges, the crispness of your diction, the sheer weight of your conviction in the things you say and how you might will them into truth.
“It’s… been a while,” he says. His own voice is weak, wavering, dry and scratchy and sounding nothing like himself but he sees the moment you recognize him, wholly and completely.
“H-Hayato-kun!”
“Oi, Suo — who’re you —” Sakura rams a shoulder into him at this exact moment, Nirei pattering close behind, trying to hold him back. Sakura blinks at you, his head flicking between you and Suo as if watching an invisible tennis match. And then, some understand seeps into the depths of his eyes and his cheeks go a ruddy shade of pink.
“Uh — sorry, I didn’t — who —” he looks bewildered and awkward all at once.
“We’re Suo-san’s friends — from Boufuurin!” Nirei cuts in, finally succeeding in tugging Sakura to one side and peering around the rather narrow door frame. He bows slightly before jumping half a meter in the air as a mover clears his throat loudly behind the group of boys now clogging the door way.
You jerk out of your reverie and point the mover towards an empty corner before making your way over, your steps steady. It takes everything in Suo’s being not to move, to neither shift forward, to press into your personal space just to make sure you’re really real, or to turn tail and run till he doesn’t have the breath to keep running any more.
He can’t tell which he’d prefer more, but he knows that neither is the best option right now.
So, he forces himself to stand still, to wait for you to come to him.
And you do, drifting over in a cloud of light linen and a flower patterned apron.
“Hi! Long time no see!”
Suo registers faintly that though your hair is longer, but your bangs are still choppy, and the ends of your hair badly cut, as if you’d gotten annoyed one day and tried to do it with kitchen scissors. He bites back a smile at the image. But there are other subtle changes too — the round babyfat on your cheeks slimming out to a sweet, heart-shaped face, the hugeness of your eyes, almost alien-like in your child years, now balanced out by the depths of your features. Your lips are small and plush as an overripe plum — that, at least, hasn’t changed in the slightest.
“Yeah… what… are you doing here?” he asks, still struck dumb by the sight of you here, in Makochi.
You raise an eyebrow and Suo almost feels the motion like a gut-punch, the familiarity of it overriding your older features until he can’t really tell if he’s living in the present or if he’s been suddenly and unwillingly shunted into the past.
You scoff, “Opening a teahouse, duh!”
Nirei laughs and Sakura lets out a snicker that kicks Suo out of his stupor. He clears his throat, having the decency to at least look abashed.
“Sorry, yes — that much is obvious. Is there… anything we can do to help?” he tries to ground himself in the established notions of aiding the citizens of Makochi. At least here, he knows what he has to do. His voice evens out, his smile returns.
You regard him with that same, questioning look before casting your eyes around the room.
“Sure! Plenty to do if you guys have the time —” and then you start pointing to the various tasks they might help with.
Nirei and Sakura jump to, already used to the pattern, with Suo trailing behind them, moving slower than usual, his limbs feeling heavy, as if they’re full of lead. It takes them the better part of the afternoon to help you set up most of the bigger pieces of furniture. And somehow, by the time they’re done, a good chunk of the freshman class is there, chattering and laughing, lounging at the newly built tables.
“Alright! Who wants some tea? Fresh and on the house — consider it payment for a job well-done!” you clap your hands, grinning as the boys all cheer.
Suo keeps quiet, sitting at a corner table with Sakura beside him, Nirei across. It isn’t until Sakura digs his elbow rather painfully into Suo’s ribs that he turns his face towards them, hitching a smile to his face.
“Hm?”
“What’s with you?” Sakura asks, never one to mince words. Across from them, Nirei nibbles on his lips as if debating on whether or not to add on to Sakura’s line of questioning
“What do you mean?” Suo asks, folding his hands carefully on the table. He’s not fooling anyone; he knows, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t at least try.
Finally, impulse wins out and Nirei blurts out —
“You’ve been staring at that girl all afternoon and — and I’ve never seen you look at anyone like that before. And you’re the one that gets the most confessions out of anyone in our year, so it figures that if this girl c-can capture your attention like this, she must be someone really special.”
He finishes slightly out of breath, before ducking behind his little notebook, even though he’s holding it upside-down.
Suo lets out a helpless laugh.
“I didn’t know you were keeping track of how many confessions all of us got — that statistic seems irrelevant to our fighting abilities, no?”
“Quit tryna change the subject,” Sakura cuts in, loudly.
Suo sighs, nodding, “I was getting there. We —” he cuts off, clearing his throat as he feels his entire body catch on the edge of the confession.
He takes a deep breath and starts again, this time, pressing a slight smile between his lips, taking on a tone as if telling a story about someone else.
“We were neighbors growing up.”
Nirei blinks, “Is… that it?”
Suo’s smile goes a bit stiff and plastic, “More or less.”
“Liar,” Sakura folds his arms, frowning as he stares Suo down. His cheeks are still pink, but there’s a determined glint behind his eyes that never bodes well.
“Ah… well,” Suo weighs his options, but then lilts his head and shrugs, “you caught me — we were a bit more than just neighbors… more like childhood friends.”
Sakura narrows his eyes but doesn’t push. Suo looks down at his hands, laced carefully on the wooden table before he speaks again.
“We… spent a lot of time together and… her mother owned a teashop like this one.”
“Oh! A family business!” Nirei says.
Suo opens his mouth to correct him but your voice cuts him off.
“You still have them!”
A finger slips along the long tassels of his earring and Suo nearly jerks away, casting his eyes up to find you, a familiar teapot in your now steady hands, your eyes somehow bright and dark at the same time as you look down at him.
“Oh… yes, I —” again, he feels his throat catch, “of course I did. You were the one who made them for me.”
You let out a light laugh, setting a few teacups down at their table and prepping their tea.
“You didn’t have to — I’m surprised they held up after all these years. You know I bought the red beads at the craft store right?”
“Yeah, you… you used your New Years money. I remember…”
“And you helped me pick out the tassels from the lady who sells lucky knots at the market!” you say all this as if it weren’t one of his most precious memories, as if he hadn’t gone to great lengths to make sure the earrings you gave him (one of the only things you’d ever given them, other than perhaps a broken heart) never came to any harm.
Across from him, he can see Nirei putting the pieces together. Next to him, Sakura seems stunned still by the same revelation.
“If I’d know you’d like them so much, I would’ve made you a few more pairs. At least that way, you can try to match them with your clothes,” you grin, leaning down to seep their tea. Suo watches as the hot water washes over the dried leaves, rehydrating them till they each unfurl into their own shape. A deep, floral fragrance fills the air and he feels his stomach both twist and settle in the same motion.
“Jasmine green,” he says.
“Mhm. Your favorite. It’s a little basic but I love it too.” You shoot him a surreptitious wink. Then, you pause, “Ah — but it might not be your favorite anymore, I guess —”
“It still is,” Suo says before you can second guess yourself.
The smile that re-alights your face is nearly blinding in it’s brilliance.
“Anyway, I’ll leave the water here for you guys, yeah?” you set the teapot down next to Suo’s elbow, flash them all one more smile before twirling around and going to serve the next table.
It isn’t until much after dark that everyone leaves and Suo, having made up some vague excuse to linger, finally has you to himself. You hum as you flit from table to table, wiping them down and pushing in the chairs. Suo watches you for a solid minute before moving to help.
“Thanks,” you say, as he helps you push in the last chair and you wipe a forearm across your forehead with a long breath, “phew! Ma really made it look easy back in the day, but this is hard work! And we’re not even officially opened yet!”
“We’ll come by to help whenever we can,” Suo says, the response automatic.
You nod, folding the tablecloth neatly into a square and setting it on the counter.
The silence thickens around you, swirling and charged. Suo grasps for something to say, anything to say. He wishes you’d do something — turn on a light, hum another song, say something strange and outlandish, punch him, perhaps.
You do none of those things. Instead, you wipe your hands on your apron and turn to look at him, your eyes huge in the darkness.
“I’ve missed you.”
It nearly knocks him from his feet. The quiet force of your words, the raw-edged honesty behind them. The way your voice doesn’t waver. The way you say them not like an accusation but an admittance. He thinks he really would’ve preferred if you punched him instead.
“Yeah,” he says, feeling breathless, heat cresting up his chest, and suddenly, he’s thankful for the darkness within the not-yet-opened teashop.
“I’ve missed you too.”
He feels hollowed out by the confession, as if just speaking the words had carved him clean, so clean that the words echo through him, reverberating through his bones till he feels it down to his marrow. He hadn’t known that missing a person could feel like this, or that the word could mean so much until he’d said it out loud.
Missing. The lack thereof. A nothing where there used to be something.
It is a wrongness in the matrix, a hole, an abnormality.
It’s as if he’d been sleeping on the mattress from the Princess and the Pea ever since the day you’d left, a subtle incorrectness that permeated every single moment of every day, so obvious in it’s presence that it had folded back into itself and become something.
That the lack of you was a presence in and of itself, a living ghost that had loomed over him, slinked behind his shadow, hovered over his shoulder until —
He reaches out to touch you, fingers skimming against the skin of your cheek.
You lean into his touch, the motion slight but he catches it almost immediately, and the force of it is the catalyst that propels him forward. He tugs you into his chest and holds you there, burying his face in your hair.
“I — I’ve missed you…” he says again, and you nod, fingers crumpling in his school uniform as you press your forehead into his chest.
“Y-you’re so much taller than before — it’s not fair,” you say, your voice muffled by his shirt. He laughs, ruffling your hair for a second before his fingers so soft and he’s running them through from root to end.
“If I had a sister, I’d tell her to keep her hair long, so I could braid it,” he’d once told you when the two of you were barely in elementary school. You’d tugged at the ends of your chopped short hair and frowned.
“Ugh — I could never grow my hair out long. It’ll just get in the way!”
“It’s longer,” he says now, tugging at the ends even as he takes half a step away, releasing you from his embrace. You glance down at the uneven bits, crinkling your nose in distaste.
“I — I tried to grow it out but… I kept getting annoyed.”
“Yeah, I thought so but… I’ve always liked your hair short.”
“You have?”
“Yeah —”
I’ve always loved everything about you.
He swallows, “Short hair… just fits you.”
You stare up at him for a second longer before nodding, your eyes flickering away.
“Yeah. Guess it does, huh.”
Something clunks in Suo’s chest.
You turn away and he has to physically beat down the panic rising in his chest.
“W-where do you live now? I’ll walk you back. It’s not safe to walk around alone in the dark,” the words tumble from him like a bag of spilled marbles, scattering across the hardwood floors.
You turn back to regard him with a curious look.
“I — I live above the teahouse. So…” you shoot him a lopsided grin, a finger pointed up towards the ceiling of the teahouse.
“Oh. Right.” Suo blinks, watching you watching him before he notices the flight of stairs behind the open door in the back of the room.
“You wanna walk me to the stairs?” you ask, grin slanting sideways till its positively devilish and Suo feels a shiver kiss it’s way up his spine.
“I mean, it’s dangerous to walk alone in the dark, right?” you tease, before turning and slinking towards the back room door. Suo hesitates for a second before he sighs, shaking his head and following behind you.
He pauses at the foot of the stairs just as you pause on the step right above him. You twist around to face him, and the sudden closeness catches his breath in his lungs. Like this, he can feel the heat of your skin, can smell the shampoo in your hair — the same one you’d used when the pair of you were still kids, apple blossom and aloe.
You cock your head, your faces now on a level, your eyes searching his.
It’s so dark, but even in this lack of light, he can make out every single feature of your face.
“I think I can make it up the stairs by myself,” you say, your voice barely more than a whisper, conspiratorial and low.
Suo lets out a small laugh, nodding, “Good. It wouldn’t be right for a gentleman to leave a lady feeling unsafe at this time of night.”
Your head slowly cocks the other way; he’d almost forgotten that habit of yours, like a sparrow listening for the rustle of leaves or the first breath of autumn wind.
“Since when’ve you been a gentleman?” you ask, still in that soft, whisper-voice, the kind of voice that compels the listener to lean closer, to tip forward until they’re falling into something they don’t even have the name for —
“And… more importantly, since when have I ever been a lady?”
He kisses you then. Or perhaps, you kiss him first. It doesn’t matter — or perhaps it does, or it will. But not now, not in the soft, nebulous darkness that surrounds you, not when your fingers are curling into his hair and his palms are settling at your waist.
And there are no fireworks, but there is light — electricity coursing through his body and yours, neurons firing and firing and firing. A cataclysm of yes and more and finally.
The first time you break apart, Suo is breathless; the second time, he feels punch drunk; by the third, he’s determined that this must be what it’s like to be thoroughly inebriated. His head is spinning, his face is hot, he has to remind himself of where his hands might be — oh, there — one in your hair and the other pressing you to him so hard he’s certain it’ll leave a mark.
The thought pleases him more than it should. Or perhaps it pleases him just as much as it should and always will.
“H-Hayato…"
“Mm — stay — please…” his voice is nearly broken as he drops his had into your shoulder; he takes a shaky breath, “don’t go.”
You let yourself be held, the pair of you propped awkwardly on the first few steps of the stairs, your fingers threading through his hair.
“I’m not going anywhere… this is my house now.”
Suo nods, vaguely aware that there are questions he wants to ask you — how’s your mother? Where’s your father? How are you here, alone, opening this teashop by yourself? Living here, by yourself?
But he will get to those later, tomorrow maybe. Right now, he forces his head up and regards you with hazy, blown-out eyes and kiss-slick lips.
“If I sleep on the floor, can I —”
You laugh, running a thumb along his cheek.
“We’ve shared a bed before and nothing’s happened. You don’t have to sleep on the floor — bed’s big enough for the both of us.”
Suo presses his lips for a second before shaking his head.
“It’s not that. I just… don’t think I could trust myself.”
There’s a hoarse, ragged edge to his voice that has you chewing on the inside of your cheek. He glances up the stairs and offers you a weak smile. You consider him for a second more before nodding.
“Yeah, c’mon. I’ll show you where the futons are.”
Upstairs, your bedroom is silver and alien with moonlight. It seems too bright, too sharp. But you step into it and suddenly, everything is alright again. You both wash up in silence, and you dig up an ancient band t-shirt from somewhere in your closet. He wonders how long you’d been here already — how many days and night he’d spent mere minutes from you.
He lays down in the futon after you slip beneath your sheets. He watches the shape of you as you shift this way and that.
Finally, you say, “Night, Hayato.”
“Sweet dreams,” he says.
And he falls asleep counting the sound of your breaths against the rhythm of his own, thundering heartbeats.
“Y-you what?!”
Sakura’s face is tomato red and Nirei looks just about ready to go into anaphylactic shock. Across the classroom, Kiryuu, who’s obviously been listening in, catches Suo’s eye and gives him a cheeky thumbs up.
Suo smiles, cheery and unabashed.
“I slept over.”
“B-b-but — you — I — she just —” Nirei seems to be fighting against some invisible force inside himself even as Sakura continues to gape.
Suo chuckles, nodding.
“Yeah, she moved here last week — it’s a total coincidence that we met up again. She had no idea that I was even here.”
He thinks back to the quiet moments of the morning, of waking up to find you sitting up in bed, staring out the window, your hair mussed and a little frizzy. He remembers the way the morning light had dappled the soft of your skin, how you’d smiled and asked him how he slept.
“Well. Better than I’ve slept in…” he clears his throat, suddenly self conscious of the gravel there. And here, in the unforgiving light of day, the night before seems miraculous and distant. Had he really held you in the dark like that? Kissed you till you’d said his name like something of a prayer?
Had he really held your hand all the way up the stairs?
You catch his eyes and smile, and like this, looking up at you as the rising sun halos itself around your shape, Suo wonders if he still might be dreaming. Because surely, surely — heaven couldn’t have been so close as this.
“So, what do you want for breakfast?” you ask, swinging your legs out of bed, your pale feet pattering against the fresh tatami floors. Suo is momentarily stunned by the sight of your bare legs, the large shirt you wore to bed now somehow terribly short and insufficient as it brushes by the middle of your thighs.
He swallows and forces himself to look away, to shake his head and focus on the words you’d said.
“Whatever you want to make,” he says, by way of an answer.
You hum as you cook, putting a bowl of rice in the microwave and putting on a pot of water to boil. The kitchen here is smaller than the one up front, in the main body of the teahouse, but it feels more homely, every surface effused with a sort of lived-in quality — clean, but rounded at the edges as if worn down by the love of days and weeks and months.
“How long…” he tries his voice again, only to find it wanting. He lets his words trail off and hopes that you understand.
“Hm? How long have I been here? Just a week. It was weird — my mom had bought this place a while back, and started the renovations, but I’d never had time to visit.”
“And where…” again, his voice trails off, his palms pressing flat to the thin counter, his eyes tracking the shape of you as you flitter through the small kitchen like a bird or maybe just a trick of the light.
“She’s not here,” you say, your movements slowing as you take the boiling water from the stovetop and pour it over some rough tealeaves, letting them seep for a few minutes before straining them out and tossing them into the trash.
“She’s… in Tokyo, finalizing the divorce with Pa.”
“Oh.”
His mind makes several inferences at once, even as he watches you soak the rice in the steaming hot tea and split the ochazuke into two bowls.
“I thought they’d… already done that,” he admit, nodding his thanks as you hand him a bowl and offer him a container of store-bought furikake. He takes it and shakes some over his bowl before handing it back.
“Yeah. Most people did.” You don’t offer up anything more and the both of you eat in silence. He polishes off the entire bowl and feels the heat settle in his stomach like a gap being filled.
“So… will she come after… everything is settled?” he choses his words carefully, peering up at you over the empty dishes. You slurp noisily at your own breakfast before licking your lips.
“Yeah, but who knows how long that’ll take? Might be weeks, might be — years, or something…” you drag the back of a hand across your lips and reaches over to pluck the empty bowl from his hands, dropping everything into the sink to soak.
“C’mon, don’t you have school or something to get ready for?”
“So… she’s here to stay?” Nirei asks, his eyes a bit overbright as Suo relays a version of the story, skirting tactfully around the more tender parts.
“Yeah, as far as I know. I promised we’d come by after school today to help her set up some more — you don’t mind, do you?”
“Nope! Not at all!” Nirei beams, but Sakura’s eyes are narrowed. Suo turns his gaze on Sakura and tilts his head with a questioning smile.
Sakura’s cheeks redden, “It’s just — ah, whatever — never mind!”
And no amount of prodding or teasing could tantalize him into saying more.
Time passes by strangely after that — at times slugging by slow as molasses, at others jumping forward in great leaps and bounds. Suo spends nearly every waking moment when he’s not at school or on patrols with you, sometimes simply sitting in the corner of the teahouse, flipping through a book, watching as you served your growing roster of regular customers, at times helping you catalogue new shipments of tea and organizing them by type, brew time, and temperature.
Sometimes, when the light catches you in just the right way, Suo finds himself arrested by the sight, and it’s times like these when he’d tug you forward, a finger under your chin, his lips gentle on yours till he can taste the tang of your smile.
“I heard you’re quite the lady’s man,” you say, casually one day, brewing a test batch of a new varietal of white tea.
“Oh? And where might you have heard such a thing?” Suo grins, pillowing his chin on the heel of his hand, watching you as he always does.
“Just the baker’s granddaughter — she goes the prep school I do, you know the one in the next neighborhood over?”
“Ah… that.”
Your grin goes lopsided as you carefully blow on the top of your teacup and take a dainty sip.
“You got your hair cut,” he says, smiling as he rakes his eye over the cut of your bob, tickling just beneath your earlobe. You go slightly cross-eyed as you tug a strand down over your forehead before blowing it away again.
“Yeah. Figured it was about time I got a proper haircut.”
“I liked it the way it was before.”
“You did?”
“Sure I did. I’ve always loved everything about you.”
Between you, a single column of steam rises in a slow, lazy spiral from the surface of your half-drunk cup. And like this, Suo thinks you’re still the most beautiful creature he’s ever, ever seen.
Your blush is quick and brilliant. Your eyes cut away; you push your hair behind your ears.
“Don’t changed the subject — so what’s this she said about you not really being one for dating, hm?”
Suo shrugs, “I’m not.”
You quirk an eyebrow.
“Then…” you blink at him, cheeks flushing darker and darker, “what do you call this?”
Suo fixes you with a steady look, and now, his voice doesn’t waver when he speaks to you, because he knows that he’d never let the certainty of you slip away from him again. This time, he knows the words to say — knows without the shadow of a doubt his truth, and yours, too.
“I don’t know what I’d call it but… I know that I’ve never really believed in dating.”
You lick your lips, setting the cup down with a soft clack.
“Then what do you believe in?”
Suo doesn’t miss a beat.
“I suppose… I’ve always just believed in soulmates.”
Your mouth falls open ever so slightly. Suo smiles as he reaches forward to tug the strand of hair free from behind your ear just to run his thumb over the smooth, silken ends.
“And, I’ve always, always believed in love at first sight.”
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elsweetheart · 2 years
Note
gm angel!!! i was wondering if u could possibly write abt ellie helping out an inexperienced reader like she has her first time with ellie n what the would be like!!
haaayyyy omg ok
slow burn.
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🎀 innocent / inexperienced!reader, very smutty ! ellie being a cocky lil shit …
you knew you’d wanted ellie from the moment you met her.
you were entranced by her, both young teenagers, ellie a year or so older than you when she took you under her wing. you often recalled how she solidified your love for girls almost instantly, the crush on her hitting you flat in the face like a slab of concrete. you think back to her adorable pony tail, the way she dressed, the way she had boy-ish charm and playfulness but could comfort you the way only a girl could. you’d spent a long time following her around like a lost puppy, being known as “ellies shy friend”. over the years she’d forced you out of your shell again and again, dragging you around with your hand in hers, a constant reassurance.
inevitably, now adults, you’d ended up her girlfriend. “slowest fucking burn in the world.” the auburn haired girl often told you, shaking her head recalling the way two of you had grown up crushing on eachother without saying a word. “no seriously, what… the fuck… were we doing?” she chuckled, handing you the watering can as you worked. she found it sweet how you’d only been given the totally ‘girly’ jobs around jackson. tending to the horses, helping out in the garden etc. she couldn’t picture you leading a supply run or hunting like she would, nor would she want you to. your soft hands were best utilised back here, where you were safe.
“i guess i didn’t wanna ruin what we had. i knew you liked girls but i thought it was awfully presumptuous to assume you liked me just because we were close and i’m a girl.” you shrugged thoughtfully, trickling water on the soil. you turned your head to look at ellie for her thoughts, only to find her smirking. you furrowed your brows in confusion.
“presumptuous.” she repeat, amused at your use of such big and unnecessary words. she jumped off the wooden fence where she was sat, leaning forward to ruffle the top of your head. “my smart girl, aren’t you?” it wasn’t mocking, or patronising and yet it made heat rise to your cheeks, something else, another feeling stirring down below. before she had time to notice she was stepping away, stuffing her hands in her jean pockets. “alright, i gotta go meet tommy about some fuckin’ hunt he wants me to lead. i’ll see you later, yeah babe?” she began strolling away and as you lift you head to bid her farewell, hands pushing some new buds into the soil she spun on her heel, finger pointed towards you.
“hey—um,” she began casually. “you wanna come over tonight? i got that movie you said you wanted to watch, the scary one.” she flushed. it was still very early days in your relationship, finally having admit your feelings for eachother just about a month ago. even though you’d known her for years, the two of you were treading on totally new territory. she made you hot and nervous, even more than she did before now that she was all yours. she oozed confidence, and now she had you— her usual flirtiness was dialled up to ten. it had erupted some feelings you’d only briefly touched on before, one’s that would have you laying awake at night frustratedly palming at your cunt trying to dull the ache she’d leave from her lingering glances and gentle manhandling.
later that night, you were smushed up against her side on the couch— the old horror movie buzzing on the screen. the two of you were always affectionate, it was normal. but now, your heart raced when her arm slipped around the back of you, pulling you closer into her. “you know, incase you get scared.” she smirked, and you feel like the butterflies in your tummy bottomed out into your cunt. you stared up at her for a moment, totally unaware of her joking tone and nodded shyly, snuggling into her with your eyes glued onto the screen to hide your face. to be quiet honest, you had no idea what was going on in the movie, you were totally encompassed by being so close to her.
she seemed totally relaxed and in her element, which equally sucked for you as it made her even hotter, whilst easing your mind slightly that she had everything under control. her hand pushed your tshirt up your arm slightly, hands gently stroking and kneading the skin there in an attempt to comfort you. you realised that she must’ve thought you were on edge because of the movie, and not because of how much she effected your body. her hand was cold and slightly clammy, a stark comparison to how warm the rest of her was in her hoodie. you snuck a peek at her, eyes flitting over her profile. she was wetting her bottom lip with her tongue, eyes on the screen. everything seemed to suit her so perfectly, her hair pulled up into her messy half up bun, the freckles dusted over her nose and cheeks, the scar dividing her eyebrow into two. you felt so lucky to have her, and you wished you knew how to express to her how badly you wanted her.
“you know, i can see you staring.” her lips pulled up into another smirk, this one more adoring as she turned to look at you, her eyes moving in a triangle motion— from one eye, to your lips, to the other. you couldn’t help but openly look at her mouth too, glittering with moisture slightly from her own tongue. “hm?” came your delayed reaction, so zoned out— feeling light headed from the way she made you feel. this made her chuckle, low in her throat.
“hm?” she repeat, teasingly. “you want a kiss?” she offered, her hand now stroking down your back from your position, turned to face her. you didn’t even wait a beat, already embarrassed from the way you threw yourself at her. kissing was the one thing you did know how to do, wrapping your arm around her neck, an accidental moan leaving your throat when you did so. she took control quickly, pushing you back with her mouth, hand on your cheek to almost soothe your desperation. “easy, tiger.” she joked with a humble chuckle, pulling away to breathe and laugh at you. you felt your face turn all hot and your lips parted, realising how pathetic you were being. you blinked a few times, turning back to the screen like it never happened.
“sorry.” you blurt out, frozen in your spot from the humiliation. the amused smile didn’t falter on her face at first when she leant forward to look at your profile questioningly.
“hey, wait what?” her brows furrowed, the smile taking its time dropping. you didn’t say anything and she spoke again. “babe? what just happened, huh?” she gently took your chin, urging you to look at her and she nudged you slightly with her shoulder. you looked at her wide eyed and guilty, struggling with your words.
“i didn’t mean to — i just — i accidentally just totally threw myself at you because — i want — i don’t know ellie, i’m sorry.” you covered your face, feeling hot tears in your eyes.
“woah, baby!” she cooed sympathetically, not quite knowing what she’d done to get you so wound up but feeling incredibly guilty for it. “hey, don’t be like that. i liked it. i was just gonna tease you for it, that’s all. you know what i’m like, m’an idiot.” she chuckled reassuringly, both hands on your cheeks. you peered up at her shyly, letting her stroke her thumbs along your cheeks.
“really?” you clarified, blinking at her in the low light as the movie continued, unattended to in the background.
“really.” she confirmed with her classic ellie smirk, she pulled your face close to hers, lips just grazing over yours. “i actually thought it was kind of hot, seeing you all needy like that.” she breathed into your mouth, and right there and then your pussy clenched up, thighs near trembling with the force it had spasmed at just her voice. you worried for the couch beneath you, scared of dampening it from your seemingly abundant arousal.
you couldn’t say anything, just let out a shaky breath, leaning forward to try and connect your lips. she leant back a little, so fucking cocky and amused when you chased her, letting out a desperate, quiet ‘ah…’ as you did so. “uh-uh.” she cooed and your eyes fluttered open to look at her face, analysing you close up. she was trying to get you back to that place she had you before without the embarrassment. needy, desperate, bordering on frantic for her touch.
already without pride, you whispered. “please, ellie.” and she couldn’t help but grant your wish, pressing her lips to yours. the makeout session intensified past any point the two of you had gotten it before. you hadn’t even realised that you were moaning quietly as her tongue massaged yours, and she groaned back— more at the feeling of your chest heaving against yours, the subtle feeling of your nipples hard through your top pressing against her was driving her wild.
you knew she’d been with other girls before, much to your devastation over the years when she’d come back to you bragging about her new sexual endeavours. to you, it felt like confirmation that she would never in a million years like you. you’d spent many nights crying over this, or out right avoiding her when she’d go through these phases. luckily for you, her relationships never lasted that long— no more than a week or two at a time, and the reason behind the breakup was always vague and mumbled, ellie recovering from it almost instantly— clear that something vital had been missing (that being, you— of course.) to ellie, her bragging was a constant display of her worth to you. she knew, but wouldn’t admit that she was only trying to prove to you that she could make you feel good if you’d ever give her the chance, but she was sure she’d blown her chances by that point.
you however, were totally innocent. you didn’t understand half the sexual jokes ellie made, let alone understand the sexual acts she’d describe when she’d return to you after one of her little flings. she’d always chuckle, catching a glance of your wide, focused eyes before patting you on the head “you’ll learn what that means one day, don’t you worry.” she’d mock, amused by your lack of experience.
your back arched into her touch when she finally slid her slender hands up your top, stroking and worshipping your soft skin that she’d always wanted to get her hands on. a whimper forced its way past your lips when her fingers ran over your breasts. you pant against her mouth, before the moment was again broken by her quiet yet obnoxious laugh.
“what?” you whine, openly needy this time.
“nothing, s’just… god, i thought you were fuckin’ innocent dude. you want it so bad.” her lips catch yours again, pulling away ever so slightly to suck on your bottom lip as she groped you beneath your shirt.
“i don’t know how to— i don’t know what i want i just know that…” you began, voice strained and hoarse as she mouthed at your neck, undoubtably sucking a bruise like she did last time (which when noticed, earned you a wide-eyed side-eye from Joel himself the next day.) she pulled away from you, her eyes all pupil at this point, mouth wet and flushed with colour.
“you just know what, hm? s’okay, i don’t bite.” she couldn’t help herself from pecking you again. “unless, you know… you’re into that.” she stole another kiss, gently nipping your bottom lip, voice deep with the smirk laying across her mouth. you drew in a harsh inhale, trying to gather your thoughts.
“you know i’ve never…” you started and she nodded, giving you her full attention now.
“i know, babe. you don’t have to—” she reassured but you cut her off, hands grabbing her by the collar of her hoodie, practically half on top of her.
“i want to. i want you to… i need help. you make me need something and i don’t know what, but i can’t sleep at night and i can’t focus, els. just want you t’make it better.” she could feel you slipping. you were always so submissive to her, even in every day life she knew you’d do anything to please her— and now things were no different, except it had been dialled up, and you were staring at her with big doe eyes and lips that she wanted to push her fingers into and make you suck. she ran her thumb over your bottom lip just at the thought, picturing how pretty you’d look.
“you need me to make you cum.” she state boldly and your eyes widened a little bit. you knew that cumming meant an orgasm, and the thought equally scared you and excite you. you could never quite get there by yourself, mounting pillows and blankets and your hand — yet never quite sure what to do, just rutting against it like some kind of desperate bunny. “i can do that, baby. always wanted to do that.” she whispered in confession, her other hand sliding up your back to reach your hair, tugging gently and slowly to expose your neck more to her, bruising her lips back into it. you bucked your hips against nothing on the seat and she glanced down, hand soothing you against your thigh.
“can i touch you there, pretty girl?” she asked, hand sliding across the thick band of your leggings. her pinky finger grazed over your mound as she stroked you just briefly and you shivered, nodding. “fuck. i need you to say the words, babe. don’t wanna take anything from you that you’re not ready to give.” she was stern all of a sudden, commanding and kind all at the same time the way ellie had always been. it was comforting, your ellie was going to make you feel good.
“want you to touch me ellie. need you to teach me.” you whimpered, eyes glossy with need and glancing between hers.
“alright. alright, i got you.” she dropped another kiss to your mouth before leaning back to look at what she was doing. “‘m gonna take these off okay, baby? just get them out the way.” she muttered, the desperation slipping through in her own voice ever so slightly before she checked herself, gaining better control over her demeanour.
you helped her pull off your leggings, ellie gently easing you to lie down on the couch, leaning on her elbow laying beside you as she shield you from the horrors on the forgotten about movie on screen.
“these are pretty, you had plans to get me in your pants tonight huh?” she joked, running her finger lightly over the waistband of your lacey pink panties. you felt your body flush in light embarrassment, knowing she was totally onto you. you had infact worn your best pair, unsure of what might happen.
“no.” you hid your nervous giggle into your hands and she nudged them away with her chin, rewarding you with more kisses.
“its okay, i like ‘em. they suit you. plus i can’t say i wasn’t thinking about it.” she praises, pushing your tshirt up to grope your soft skin once more. “you ever touch yourself before?” her question catches you off guard and your breath hitches in your throat, thighs tensing a little which she ignores. “s’alright you can tell me. our secret.” she nudges her nose against yours as her fingers dip into your lace waistband, pulling out again to tease you.
“i’ve… tried. just don’t know what m’doing.” you shiver, eyes screwed shut in concentration, her hand setting your skin alight as she continually draws near where you need her.
“poor thing.” she tuts, hand sliding up your thigh to bend your knee, pulling your legs wider open. you feel your drenched folds part and you swear to god you hear a wet sound at the action, a tribute to how fucking turned on you were. you swallow thickly, and ellie kisses your throat. “you’re cute, always wanted to ask you that actually. used to think about you doin’ it, all alone in your room. figured one day you’d come knocking at my door beggin’ me for help. that day never came, you really toughed it out hm?” she was cooing at you, and you felt ashamed at how hard your chest was rising and falling, eyes fixated on her hand stroking your inner thigh.
“mmph— wanted to. wan’ed your help, els.” you whimper and she responds with a hard wet kiss on your cheek.
“and look at us now. see where using your words gets you, huh?” she teased. her hand cupped your mound finally and you sucked in breath, the pressure just enough to make your clit pulse beneath the indirect touch. you rocked your hips into her hand through your underwear, the friction of the lace burning against your button making you sob. “yeah? haven’t even gotten started on you yet, baby.” she digs her fingers in slightly, sliding them up to rub your clit in generous circles. you release a clear moan, grabbing her arm and digging your nails into her tattoo.
“th—feels good, ellie.” you whine and she smiles, nudging your head aside so she could kiss your neck again. “that was definitely the plan.” she mumbles jokingly against your skin.
you huff out in frustration at her teasing. “stop.”
she lifts her head to look at you, eyes dancing between your own. “stop what, touching you?” her fingers slow their motions.
“no!” your brows furrow desperately, bucking into her hand. “stop teasing me. be nice.” you pout, emotions sky rocketed from the vulnerable position she had you in. she smiled sympathetically, her fingers skilfully pull your panties to the side, digits swiping through your wetness. she smirks once more as your eyelashes flutter at the sensation.
“i dunno, think you like my teasing. sure does make you wet.” she closes in on you, latching her lips to yours once more as she pushes her fingers through your soaked folds, feeling the way you jolt against her. “see, i can be nice.” she mutters, circling your clit again, she swallows your moans, dropping her tongue into your mouth and letting it swirl around. she continued to please you, and you felt a growing ache — lower down, where your hole was. it pulsed and clenched around nothing as she gave all her attention to your clit.
“m—more, please.” you swallow thickly, the fast circles on your clit slowing.
“yeah? you enjoying yourself, pretty girl?” she kissed the corner of your mouth making you nod.
“you’re so, mmh, so good at this.” you whimper and she feels smug— knowing no one else could ever know your body like she would. her middle finger hooked round, pushing ever so gently against the gummy walls around your hole. she massaged it, easing your tension slightly and you bit your lip needily, eyes trained on hers as she watched your every move and reaction. she began pushing her finger in slightly, watching the way your body tensed and then relaxed, expression melting as your brows furrowed and your eyes fluttered closed.
“fuck.” she whispered harshly, tearing her eyes away to look down at her finger disappearing inside you. you were tight, and she didn’t want to jump the gun but the thought of you squeezing around her strap had her breathless. “y’need to relax for me, pretty girl.” her free hand stroked your lower tummy, soothing you. you’d clenched around her finger so hard that she could barely move it. “m’not goin’ anywhere. that’s it, there you go.” she praised as you willed yourself to unclench, a whimper at your efforts leaving you.
she massaged the gummy warm walls inside you, watching the way just one finger had you falling apart, sobbing into her mouth as you caught the rhythm, grinding against her hand. “good, yeah. you’re taking it so good babe. my good girl, aren’t you? always been my good girl.” she kissed your forehead, another finger prodding at your entrance. you whine at the intrusion but welcome it anyway, only clenching hard once you’ve swallowed her up to the knuckles. your toes clench at the fullness, along with everything else. her palm that had been knocking against your clit with each movement was making it all too much, and suddenly you could barely breathe.
you sucked in air, overwhelmed by the feeling. “ellie.” you gasped and she was cupping the back of your neck with her free hand, the other fingers stilled inside you.
“look at me, look at me.” she demand quickly and casually, your hazy eyes landing on hers. “breathe, baby i know it’s a lot. i know.” you let the panic wash past you as you slow your breathing, wide eyes stuck on her’s like they were your life line. “there. you’re so fucking good. just be calm, let it come to you.” she kisses your cheek and you nod, eyes fluttering closed again as you nod. her fingers start to move, slow and you moan, free and unabashed. “good girl, baby.”
her fingers curl up, and after a while of doing this they come across a soft spot— one that makes you cry. “oh, gosh— ellie!” you hiccup, tearful and desperate now bucking against her hand.
“right there?” her voice is calm, raspy and low in her throat as she looks straight at you, brows raised in almost sympathy.
“yeah—but— s’too much i feel like— g’nna pee!” you squeal in humiliation and she hides the chuckle that nearly breaks out of her because it wasn’t the time.
“i know angel, s’intense isn’t it? but it’s not pee. i promise you. just let go okay? when you’re ready j’st… j’st fucking let me have it, yeah?” her whisper gets desperate again and it makes you buck even harder against her hand— fingers pressing hard against your spot again. almost immediately, you’re tipping over the edge and seeing stars, brows furrowed and jaw dropped. ellie keeps up her pace, feeling like she could cum herself just from watching you lose it, clenching and squelching around her fingers. “good girl. good fucking girl. look so pretty cumming for me, that’s it.” she encourages through grit teeth, talking you through it. you can barely hear her, white noise deafening you as you hit your euphoria.
it becomes too sensitive too fast and you’re fumbling at her wrist to stop her. she does, of course and she’s letting you breathe right into her mouth— swallowing the pants and catching kisses where she can. years of waiting to touch you, and it was better than she ever could have imagined. despite the sensitivity, you whine pathetically when she pulls her fingers out, her head pointing down to look at the mess you’d made. even in the low light she can see your slick coating her hand and your inner thighs, and if you weren’t so out of breath you might be embarrassed. “god damn.” she chuckled and your eyes flicker open, demure and sweet as ever. she brings two fingers to her lips, oh-so-casually sucking the juices off them with a grateful hum. “taste as good as you fuckin’ look.” she compliments and your lips part slightly, invitingly. she brings them to your mouth now and you welcome them inside, sleepily suckling the remainder of your flavour off them. “shit.” she puffs out a breath, shaking her head. how had she bagged someone so sexy again?
“than—k’you ellie.” you garble around her fingers, greedily savouring the slick on your tongue as she watched, entranced.
“anytime, babe.” she huffs out. “no really. any time.” she reiterates, widening her eyes making you giggle.
you weren’t sure how great of a student you were, but you knew ellie was a damn good teacher.
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astroboots · 1 year
Text
Every You Every Me Issue #3
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Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x female reader
Summary: You are determined to meet your Spider-benefactor face to face and you go to ever increasing extreme lengths to do so. Problem is, Miguel O'hara is very uncooperative to your plans.
Word count: 5,500 words.
Content: Slowest of the burn, so slow you wonder if it's even burning. Near death experiences, the state of the economy and how expensive it is to live in a big city, the emotional whiplash of Miguel O'Hara.
Astroboot’s Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Spiderverse Masterlist
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You saw them in the window display of a bakery in Greenwich Village. Round sugar cookies with red frosting and white eyes, decorated as a tribute to everyone's favorite neighborhood Spiderman.
Before you had time to properly think things over (would he even like the cookies? Is he on a strict superhero diet and workout plan? What if he's gluten intolerant?) you were already standing in front of the cash register having a dozen of them wrapped up in fancy crinkly paper and were $72 dollars poorer. 
Charging six dollars per cookie is practically highway robbery, but that's par for the course with New York bakeries. You wouldn’t be surprised if every bakery in New York was already a part of Wilson Fisk’s criminal empire. 
As you push open the door, box in hand, you wonder wryly to yourself why Spiderman’s ruder alter ego isn't there to save you from that.
You wonder, for Superheroes, what classifies as an event worth intervening in and what everyday citizens need to be saved from?
Financial ailment doesn't quite seem to qualify from what you've been able to glean so far.
Tony Stark, for all the wealth he’s amassed (a large enough treasure hoard that he would be capable of buying the whole planet of Mars according to Forbes) isn't massively involved with charities. He only donates to the one: his own. And the Stark Foundation is really just Tony Stark paying reparations for the damage he and his buddies caused in the first place.
Thor is an actual deity, and you still remember that write-up in Esquire magazine, where local waiters in New Mexico had called him a terrible tipper and a habitual smasher of glassware.
Assault and battery is up in the air. There are accounts of Superheroes intervening; that Tiktok videos of She-Hulk breaking up a bar fight that went viral a few weeks back. But then equally, there are memes of Doctor Strange peeking out the window of Sanctum Sanctorum watching a street fight unfold,, utterly uninterested in getting involved. The internet labeled it as "mood". 
As for murder and mayhem, there's a longstanding public debate as to whether Superheroes cause more than they prevent. Case in point: that Moon Knight guy that paints the streets of London red.
There is no rule book written to explain how Superheroes decides who is worth saving and who is not.
Does one have to be important and have a material effect on the state of the world?
If so, you fall pitifully short. The most world-changing decision you made as of late was deciding to opt out of utensils on your last GrubHub order to help save the environment.
So it makes you wonder: Why on earth has this non-costume accurate Spiderman saved you, not once, not twice, but 13 times to date?
That’s just the first of many questions you’d like to ask him. What does he know that you don’t? Does he know why the universe seems to be out to get you lately? Or why death itself is following you everywhere you go, nipping at your heels?
You haven’t had the chance to ask him anything, because despite all of your encounters, you haven't met him face to face since that very first time. 
Inconveniently, you don't exactly have a way of contacting him. Superheroes aren't listed in the phone book. 
With no other way to reach out, you go at it the old fashioned way. You write him a note from a page you've ripped out of your notebook:
‘Thank you for saving me. Can we meet? I have questions.’
You place the note on the window sill. Setting the plate with $72 dollars worth of Spiderman cookies on top of the left corner of the paper to make sure it doesn't get blown away in the wind. Then you leave the window open for the first time since you've moved into this apartment before heading to bed.
There's nothing else to do but to wait. 
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You wake to the spit and splatter of rain against your window. It's gray outside, and the cookies you set out the night before remain untouched. You frown at the sight, but you can't say you're surprised.
There was never any real indication that he was lurking around you. Superheroes are bound to have more interesting things on their schedule than stalking a random insurance employee.
You don't know why you thought this would work in the first place.
Getting out of bed, you walk up to your window to inspect the scene. The note is where you have left it, ink a little smeared from the rain, where the plate has kept it in place on the right corner.
That seems odd, now that you think about it. You stare at the note, eye drawn to the watermarks. Why are there water stains bleeding into the paper if your window was closed? As crappy as your rundown apartment can be, water damage is the one thing you haven't had issues with.
You draw your eyes to the closed window being smattered with the rain outside. Didn't you leave the window open last night? You're pretty sure you did, hoping that the open window would be seen as a gesture of invitation. You had left it open… right?
You did.
You're sure you did.
He must’ve been here.
Rude, not-costume-accurate Spiderman was here.
Right?
Your eyes flicker back to the window.
Or maybe you did close the window?
You close your eyes trying to recall your evening, packing the length of your apartment as you replay the memory. Suddenly, you're not so sure anymore. You always close your window, and even though you had every intention of keeping it open last night, who is to say you didn't close it out of sheer habit?
It's strange. Because if he was here, he would've spotted the note. But it's in the same spot you left it yesterday right under the plate on the left side of it...
You eye the undisturbed note tucked under the right corner of the plate.
Wait, wait. Didn't you put the note under the left side of the plate?
You did.
Yes, you definitely did.
Which means, he was here... Right?
You feel like you are going insane.
Are you seeing things that are not there? Was he actually here and if so why did he go to such lengths to pretend otherwise. Why would he passive-aggressively gaslight you into thinking he was never here?
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You decide on a redo.
Because if you can't trust yourself and your questionable memory, you can trust a recording.
A teddy bear nanny cam sets you back $50. Not cheap, but not as outrageous as your stale-cardboard-tasting Spiderman cookies. 
You set it up on your dresser opposite your window and link it to your phone as per the instructions.
As for the bait. After having tasted those brick cookies for yourself, putting it out for a second night for a man who has saved your life repeatedly didn't seem right. You decide to bake them yourself this time.
The added bonus is that you get to mix blue food coloring into the frosting for the decoration that goes on top. In retrospect, the red Spiderman cookies from last time might’ve implied that you’re calling him a knock-off Spiderman. 
Besides, even with the cost of living crisis: a bag of flour, baking powder, unsalted butter, sugar and eggs cost a lot less than $72 dollars.
This time, you don't write him a sloppily put together note. You decide to write him a proper letter. 
If he did visit your apartment, (and you're not just going insane) the fact that he moved the note meant that he must've read it. 
This note didn’t work. 
It must not have been compelling enough, you were kind of in a hurry… 
You’ll have to write something better this time. Longer. More emotionally compelling. Surely if you take the time to really explain your plight, you can make him understand why it’s so important he talks to you! 
The problem is that it’s hard to sound serious when it’s written on lined paper from your ruled notebook. 
That won’t do. You go to the nearest stationery store in your neighborhood, a chain outlet of Paper Source to get yourself some decent looking stationary paper with a matching colored envelope to boot. 
You immediately regret this part of your plan, because it ends up setting you back another $26 dollars. Why is 6 pieces of paper so damn expensive anyhow? Surely there’s a few trees left in the world to chop down?!
$102 dollars down in your bank balance, you sit down at your dining table that night, pen in hand and begin writing. You pour your heart onto the pages, setting out in as precise words as you can manage the effect your near death incidents have had on you. 
How scared you are, how confused you are, but also how grateful you are that he's saved you, again and again and again. That you believe if you and him can just meet in person and talk, if you could ask questions and figure out why this is happening, then maybe you can find a way to stop it from happening again.
Then you fold the letter and tuck it neatly into the matching envelope and slide it under the left side of the cookie plate and go to sleep.
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When you wake the next morning, nothing seems out of the ordinary.
The cookies are still neatly arranged on your plate. The letter snugly tucked underneath it.
On the left side this time, you note. 
It doesn’t look like he came. 
The only thing is that you swear that the envelope is now several inches further to the left than where you left it last night.
Again, maybe that’s just wishful thinking.
You pull up your phone, opening the app linked to the nanny cam and press play.
There is nothing but the still frame of your studio apartment, your bed to the right and your window square in the camera-view. You speed up the video, but the only thing that takes you by surprise is that you apparently toss a lot more in your sleep than you thought.
The camera footage goes well into 3am, and you’re resigning yourself to the fact that this was all down to your imagination.
He didn't come last night. Probably didn't come the night before. Most likely you woke up from the rain, closed the window and were too sleepy to remember.
You sigh, setting down your phone on the table, prepared to let this whole endeavor go.
On your screen, a smudged shadow appears in the corner of the window. You jump to your feet from your seat, knocking your chair over in the process with a raucous thud. The dark figure grows larger on your screen, dark navy blue and lines of stark red that perches itself onto your window sill.
YES! yes-yes-yes! You knew it. You fucking goddamn knew it!
You were right.
Adrenaline buzzes victoriously in your veins, and you grip your phone harder. Your heart is pounding so fast and hard in your chest you can hear the drumming beat of it in your ears.
He was here!
(You're not cuckoo for cocoa puffs).
You watch as his large figure sits on your window sill. He's still wearing his mask, and while you can't make out the expressions underneath, the outline where his eyes would have been, painted in dark blue, now narrow into a slit on your screen. 
There's a hostility emanating from that glare that you are able to sense all the way from the opposite side of the screen. He stares down at the plate of cookies suspiciously. Then he just stays there, unmoving, having a staring competition with the cookies you baked in his image.
In the privacy of your living room, you have the luxury of taking the time to get a proper look at him without interruption. It's hard to ignore the fact of just how tightly fitted to his skin that suit is. The dark blue fabric clings to every line of muscles on his body and it makes your cheek prickle with heat when you look. It feels voyeuristic somehow, but you can't help but think that the more modest alternative would be if he had worn nothing at all.
He's absurdly ripped. Muscular doesn't even begin to describe it. Broad shoulders and a narrow tapered waist segueing into obscenely thick and defined thighs that have your eyes linger for far too long. You shake your head to snap yourself out of it, Jesus you are acting like a creep. This isn’t OnlyFans, though lord knows you paid for this privilege! $102 for a cam video! 
On the footage, there is finally movement. He reaches for a cookie, bringing it to his mouth. The blue fabric dematerializes on his lower face until it reveals his tanned skin and that ridiculously cut jaw of his.
His mouth parts. Fangs protrude where his canine teeth are supposed to be and the sight makes you nearly drop your phone in shock.
Is this Spiderman a vampire? Or is he like a tarantula Spiderman with fangs to match?
You watch in suspended horror as he bites into the cookie, those sharp fangs of his are in plain view as he chews. 
He leans over to reach for a second cookie and all your trepidation is forgotten for a second, because if he’s reaching for a second one, it must mean he likes them. You grin at your screen, culinary pride beating out any caution or fear you may have had. 
Then he lifts up the plate, picking up the letter. The anticipation is too much. You press your face closer to the screen to try to get closer, because your screen is too small to pick up any possible nuances in his expression. 
He's carefully opening the envelope as he starts to read. It's impossible to tell what he's thinking. There's no visible change of facial expressions in the outline of his masked eyes. His mouth, which is bared to you, doesn't so much as twitch.
It doesn’t take long for him to read it. When he's done, he tucks the letter back under the plate. Then he bends down over the plate of cookies, and for a moment you think he’s going in for a third. Instead his hand lingers on the plate, before he starts to slide the remaining cookies around the plate to your confusion. You watch in confusion as he picks up the cookies one by one to space them out more evenly. You don't quite understand what he's trying to do, wait… is Vampire spider man re-arranging the cookies to make it less obvious he’s eaten them?!  
The bastard really was trying to gaslight you into thinking he was never here.
Once he’s seemingly satisfied with his work, he straightens up, turning until his back is against the camera preparing to leave.
To your surprise his face turns around to take one last look inside. The direction of his gaze settles on your bed where you're sleeping. His eyes lingers there for a handful of moments, inscrutable over the mask.
Is he sad? Angry? You can't tell.
He finally looks away and then he leaps off the window.
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Politely asking him in writing is clearly not working out for you.
You decide the only recourse you have left is to try and physically catch him.
Such a simple sentiment that had sounded so easy in your head, but you quickly run into logistical issues when you try to put it into practice.
The man is built like a tank. Can leap off of skyscrapers (and the window of your sixth floor) without breaking a sweat. Potentially also a vampire.
You're not exactly sure how you're supposed to catch someone like that.
Your google research is off to a shaky start. Somehow you end up down a rabbit hole of tutorials for non-lethal mouse traps. It's not very useful inspiration. Because you can't exactly build a 7 foot large cage trap to catch him the next time he comes around to help himself to cookies.
But the concept of having a lure trap set with bait seemed transferable and so you decide to go for a classic spring trap that you’ll modify. No cage, instead you set up a DIY contraption with a sturdy string attached to a bell meant to quickly alert you to his presence next time he comes around. 
The game plan is to wake up and corner him before he has a chance to abscond.
As for bait, you google things that vampires might like in a half-thought of plan it might be applicable. Unfortunately, there are no young virgin maidens you know of as far as the eye can see in New York (yourself included) so that was a no go. 
So you default back to cookies (because hey, at least it worked last time).
Amazon has your whole set up shipped and delivered by the next day and you implement phase 3 of your rapidly escalating attempts to reach out to him.
Unfortunately, it doesn't work. For one he doesn’t show up that night. Or the night after. It takes him four whole days to show up again and when he does, he spots your trap a mile away. When you review the footage on the cam the next day, he avoids the rope and the whole mechanism effortlessly. 
There's no sound on the nanny cam so you can't be sure of it. But you think from the way the line of his shoulders shake as he steps over the rope that he might be laughing at you. He’s definitely seen through few supervillain traps in his days so in hindsight the probability of success here was low.
He does however eat three of your cookies this time.
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You get a little bit more desperate after that.
You decide that if a trigger trap to wake you won't work, then obviously, the next best thing is for you to simply stay awake.
The problem is that he doesn't show up every night. His visits are entirely random without an obvious pattern. Sometimes he shows up two nights in a row, sometimes he goes several days without making a guest appearance on your nanny cam footage.
It means you end up downing a whole carafe of coffee, and several energy drinks, every night for a week straight. Entirely unable to predict what night he's going to appear, you keep dooming your already tiny bladder to a dozen visits to the bathroom before the clock has even struck nine.
The saddest part of it is that despite being wired on enough coffee to power a nuclear power station by yourself, you never end up staying awake the whole night through. 
More often than not you end up falling asleep sitting upright by the dining table waiting up for him. Then the next morning you wake with a wry neck, a sore back and your face pressing up uncomfortably against the wooden surface.
But you're nothing if not tenacious. Tonight makes it the sixth night in a row that you’re doing this. You stare down the can of red bull on your dining table as you pick it up and lift it to your mouth. You’re going to keep going, hardness of the wooden table be damned.
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You're surprised to find yourself waking up feeling well rested without any aches. Surrounded by the softness of your quilt and your even softer memory foam pillow. 
The luxurious comfort of it all is such a relief that you don't even question it at first. Don't question why you're in bed when the last thing you remember was nodding off against the palm of your hand and the hard discomfort of your dining chair.
In the sanctuary of your bed, you just dig your face deeper into your pillow and snooze for as long as you can. Ignoring the bright sun pouring in from your windows until it sears unforgivingly against your skin and you decide that it’s finally time to start your day.
By habit, the first thing you do as you get up from bed is to pull up the nanny cam app on your phone and press play on last night's recording.
There's nothing of interest. Seeing yourself read a book by the dining table and chugging down a series of Red Bull is hardly riveting television.
Yesterday you barely even make it until midnight because you can see yourself nod off at the table, head sliding off your palm and plonking down on the dining table. You flinch at the impact, vaguely impressed that the collision didn't wake you.
Your (maybe vampire) Spiderman turns up at 3 am.
Much like the times before, he perches himself on your window sill, peering inside (presumably to check for any new traps you might have laid out for him).
His broad frame stiffens, and then, with a smooth leap, he's inside your apartment.
Excitement rushes to your head, because this is the furthest he’s gone and the first time he's come all the way inside instead of just lurking on the window sill. 
He goes over to your bed, flinging the quilt to the side. He seems stressed, the dark shape of his eyes wide as he stands over the empty bed when it dawns on you what’s happening on screen right now. 
Oh, he's worried.
He looks over at you, hunched over the dining table, sound asleep and oh god, is that drool on your cheek? 
The line of his shoulder relaxes. The broadness of his chest rises then dips with a heavy exhale. Something warm trickles in your stomach at his obvious concern for you.
The mystery is confounding. You don't know him. You've never met him, but for some unfathomable reason he cares enough about you to genuinely care about your safety and you want to know why. 
He makes his way over to the table where you are. The mask slowly ebbs away, uncovering his familiar chin, cheeks and then finally his eyes. An other-worldly shade of crimson that has you spellbound and transfixed on the screen. 
You find yourself raising your phone closer to your face, trying to get a better look at him. Cursing the crappy quality of the video. You don't know what to make of the way he's looking at you. It's intensely focused, almost sad, and… and… And you don't know what, but it makes your heart leap up into your throat, chest clenching tight.
He bends over, wrapping his broad arms under your knees. He’s careful in his movements, cupping your head as it lolls to the side until you’re comfortably resting against his shoulders. It’s a practiced movement, as if he’s done this a hundred times before as he picks you up and carries you bridal style to your bed. Gingerly tucking you under the quilt with something that looks a lot like tenderness. 
It leaves you with more questions than ever.
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Ever since you started your caffeine chugging marathon, work has become a new kind of hell.
You're already half-asleep and nodding off at your desk by 10.30. Eyes sore and strained as you stare at the bright screen and try to make sense of the endless columns that are all different and also all the same until your brain refuses to try to make sense of any of it anymore.
You need to go for a walk. Clear your head.
Maybe pop out for a coffee... smoothie. Definitely smoothie.
Outside, the heat is oppressive, far too hot for only being May. Definitely too hot when there are this many tourists around. The street is so crowded you can barely make an inch of headway, trapped behind a family with a stroller in front, trapped in front of a pushy businessman who keeps stepping on your heels every two steps, and trapped next to a guy who is really into his airpods.
With the excess of caffeine still trying to make its way out of your system and the unforgiving heat of the sun beating against your back, it all has the effect of making you feel like you’re hung over. Your breakfast is roiling in your stomach. Sweat plastered against every inch of clothing. You don't know why you do this to yourself.
Every morning you tell yourself never again, and yet every night, there you were, spending half of your disposable income on energy drinks.
Starting from today, you're going cold turkey on the stuff. You've finally given up on trying to stay awake long enough to catch your super-stalker in his cookie burglar routine. Endlessly chugging down caffeine every night is not working out for you. Neither are the DIY mouse traps.
You're running low on ideas of how to trap him. You have nothing else to go on anymore. No idea on how to summon the man. The only time you know he'll be there is the moment before each near-death when he's there to save you.
What are you supposed to do with that? Purposely throw yourself off another building to lure him out?
That's crazy!
…Right?
But maybe... No! Definitely crazy.
Someone screams, and you snap out of your thoughts. There's yelling and terrified shrieks all around you. You're caught in the throng of people, panicked bodies pushing and pressing up against you, all of them trying to run the other way.
You dig in your heels, bracing yourself against the stampede of people. They’re pushing in from every direction until it’s impossible to move an inch. It’s hard to turn your body, when second after second, someone is pummeling into your side, knocking into your bruising shoulder. You barely manage to crane your neck back far enough when you finally spot it. 
A red-green truck with a gigantic taco on its roof is careening towards you across the pavement, no driver behind the wheel. The sea of bodies parts around the out-of-control vehicle, people running left, right and forward to escape being crushed under the wheels.
There’s no time to react. It’s too close. Too fast. 
A hand clutches at your wrist and pulls you backwards, your vision obscured as your face is pressed up against a familiar solid warmth. 
"Hold onto me," he tells you, and you do. 
You're held firm against him as the ground underneath your feet disappears, and everything feels weightless. Then all you hear is a loud thunderous crash.
Your feet touch back down on the ground, and the strong protective hold on you unravels.
When you open your eyes he's already gone. You're left on the corner of Lexington Avenue, still trying to catch your breath. The mob of people is still there all around you, but the panic has passed now, everyone is standing still. Everyone is observing the wreckage of the run amok truck that is now flipped onto its side, rendered harmless.
Miraculously, somehow, nobody around you seems visibly injured.
From a distance, you can hear sirens approaching with a deafening wail. 
But your mind is elsewhere, on the shade of the familiar dark blue and red as you were being saved seconds ago. On his gentle voice in your ear that still thrums pleasantly in your chest. 
You want to see him again. 
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It's Friday, and you break half an hour early for your designated 40 minutes of lunch, taking the elevator directly to the 72nd floor, which is under construction to renovate it into an open observation deck for the public next year.
The thing with commercial skyscrapers is that nowadays most of them have safety glass panels on all outside spaces of the upper floors to ensure that it is impossible to climb up the buildings and jump.
It's a safety feature that became standard after the financial crisis of 2008.
Turns out that imposing an 80 hour work week on your employees, where they don't get to see their family or friends or have a life outside of work, and then stripping them of their financial security makes a lot of people miserable and suicidal (who knew?)
The elevator pings open, and you exit into the construction zone, carefully avoiding the various tools scattered across the half-finished deck. On Fridays, the construction workers on the site leave by lunchtime, and the space is empty of people. 
Step by step, you walk up towards the edge of the terrasse, until you stand before the temporary safety rail, looking out over the sprawling city below you. Cars look like tiny moving pebbles and the people, a hive of ants scurrying from street to street.
It’s a dizzying view. Both beautiful and grotesque in its grandeur. The 72nd floor will be 28 more floors to fall from than the 44th was.
The air around you seems to thin, and your stomach wants to crawl down to your feet and hold on to steady ground.
Taking a deep breath, you lift the hem of your shirt, running your hand over the safety harness strapped around your waist, reassuring yourself it's still there. Then you feel along the attached cord, using the carabiner at the end to clip it around the rod of the safety rail. 
Being impulsive and daring in your quest is one thing. Reckless and stupid is another.
It’s not a real climbing rope and harness. Turns out professional safety gear is shockingly expensive, but you found a knock-off resistance training set, complete with harness and stretchy bungee cord rope, on Amazon for a very reasonable $15. You’ve already spent $72 on cookies, $50 dollars for a nanny cam set, and an extortionate $26 for stationary paper in your never-ending quest to lure out Fake Spiderman. You figure a rope is a rope, and you're not paying $100 more to get ripped off by the big climbing corporations. But you’re also not willing to go without.
After all, you've already fallen from the Chrysler building once, and you're not angling for a repeat.
As intent as you are on seeing your Spider-benefactor eye to eye, you're not quite prepared to die for the privilege. Your plan is just to make it look like you are going to jump.
Any superhero worth his dime wouldn't actually let you fall before they would be willing to save you.
That would be a real dick move.
You give your impromptu safety rig one last tug to make sure it's secure, then straighten your posture. Grabbing a hold of the metal rail, you hoist yourself up. You clamber onto it, gripping tight with shaking hands as you swing a leg over, straddling the bar.
Left leg then the right, until all of you are on the other side of the railing.
Then you stay there.
One second. Then two. You close your eyes and try not to look down at the many, many floors below, and how one gust of strong wind could probably knock you over and have you falling down the building again. You count the seconds that pass you by. 
Five. Six. Seven.
A strong gust of wind blows through your side, and your legs buckle at the strong resistance, hand gripping down on the metal railing to hold yourself steady so you don't fall off.
Eightnineten! Ok. Fuck. No. You're good. Fuck this! He's not going to come.
If he didn’t come when you climbed over, he's not going to turn up now.
You briefly let go of the railing with one hand, adjusting your grip so you can climb back to safety. The sun beating down on your back disappears and is eaten up by a large and looming shadow. Every hair on the back of your neck prickles in warning.
Your reaction is too slow, you don't even have time to turn around to see what caused it. Then all you hear is an angry booming voice right next to your ear.
"Have you lost your goddamned mind?!"
You panic, flinging out your hand to catch the bar, but the hard metal of the railings isn't there anymore.
There is a sharp metallic snap. The safety rope around your waist splits from the hasp.
He’s calling your name.
The world tilts and everything goes upside down along with it. Your stomach sinks with a sickening plummet, legs dropping through into zero gravity as you find yourself staring up at the blue and endless New York sky.
Then you're falling from the Chrysler building.
Again.
Fuck!
~ Next Issue
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Dedication & Credits: To my dearest @thirstworldproblemss who has to constantly listen to me jabber on about this day and night endlessly and forever. She is in every sense of the word a collaborator on this project. She brainstorms, she pitches in, she edits and she beta-reads. This and so many of my works would not exist without her, please send her all the love if you enjoyed this story.
I don’t have a tag list but please follow me on astroboots-writes and turn on notifications to be notified when I post something new!
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patheticlogic · 6 months
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i still haven't moved on.
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if we consider in the fact that hu tao didn't send zhongli to whangshu inn for sesame oil at last year's lantern rite, zhongli bringing this up a whole year later implies to me that he's curious if xiao has figured out that he's teasing him. but xiao hasn't seen through zhongli because he still holds zhongli in reverence.¹ xiao takes his every word seriously² because zhongli is still someone who should be listened to earnestly. xiao's "about zhongli" voiceline makes this very obvious. no matter what zhongli does, there must be a greater meaning to it all.
i can't believe that every zx interaction challenges the power imbalance of their previous relationship, as well as xiao's own view of it. hyv writers put their all into these two.
zhongli gently but firmly reminds xiao each lantern rite that he's no longer a god and shouldn't be addressed as such. last year, xiao still struggled with this. now, he corrected himself even though he was just thinking!
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sure, he didn't drop the 'daren' but still a huge step forward.
¹aka world's slowest slow burn. they aren't even friends yet. well. in xiao's eyes at least
²last year, when zhongli teased him about how he should be the one referring to xiao by a formal title, xiao immediately shut it down ("heaven forbid!" hahaha)
152 notes · View notes
novthewolf · 1 year
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Two's company, three's a family - Part one
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Summary: As a cupid, an angel of love, your mission was to make sure everyone was paired up with the right person. Yet you couldn't get your two most ancient clients to finally end up together. And despite the 6,000 years spent on the case, you couldn't bring yourself to give them up, not oblivious to the reason.
Pairing: Aziraphale x Crowley / GN!Reader x Crowley / GN!Reader x Aziraphale (polyamorous relationship).
Masterlist : Here
Warnings: foul language, alcohol use, slow burn, english isn't my first language.
Words : +3k word
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You were mopping around, wondering how the fuck you still hadn't managed to get those two sugar-rotten bird brains to get together ! You ran your hands through your hair and went down to rub your face. You reached for your glass and drank down every last drop.
6,000 bloody years you spent with them, and nothing !
So much work for no true result.
And, just for the record, you wanted to insist that you are really good at your job.
No, you weren't bragging; you really were ! A lot of cupids were cruel little things, and it had to do with the fact that you feed on the love a person feels for another. And since it didn't have to be reciprocated, most preferred to work less—well, smarter—rather than harder. But you just loved love stories. Of any kind, really ! Motherly, fatherly, between siblings, friends... Nevertheless, being able to form a perfect match and seeing the joy you brought to others always filled you with joy.
A cupid is just a specific type of angel meant to spread love all over the world. Which included humans, animals, and supernatural beings such as demons and angels. However, your peers weren't your favourites. They were too focused on their jobs, being either neutral towards each other or straight-up hateful. And hate tasted too bitter to your liking.
Which was probably the reason why you were so interested in Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship to begin with. They were so friendly and caring that something inside you just clicked. Even if their love story was the slowest burn you ever encountered, you couldn't bring yourself to give up.
Hell no ! Mmh, no. You were too stubborn to accept your failure. Yes, failure. Because despite spending every moment with them (well, when they were together) and using so many arrows, those two just wouldn't come together ! And to make sure your bow and arrows worked, you almost paired up every goddamn duck at St. James Park.
Nothing worked ! Nothing !
Ugh, so annoying...
In your case, the only connection you seem to have in this vast universe is with the pub and your drink... And to the generations of barmen you complained to.
"How can someone be so oblivious ?" Your drunken words slipping out of your mouth without anyone to talk to.
"Tell me about it." A voice said next to you.
Oh, you recognised the voice alright; you just didn't feel like engaging in a conversation with anyone right now. Still, you were polite enough to acknowledge their presence.
"Hi Mihael." You mumbled.
"Good evening to you too, Y/N !" She chirped, her voice too positive for you to appreciate right now. You groaned and rested your head on your arms.
"What do you want ? It's not your type to be staying down there once your shift's over," you said before looking up at her.
Her dark pink eyes were scanning the pub warily. You rolled your eyes, her attitude reminding you how atypical you've become. Being among humans, eating food, or even walking on earth was something Cupid didn't do. Flying around was the most common attitude, as was having really limited contact with humans, or "clients," as Archangel Chamuel calls them. But you loved your time on earth with every creature, though eating ex-living animals isn't your thing. And being a freak was actually something you were doomed to be. You knew you were different from other mystical beings, and it was really fucking lonely.
"You're right ; I don't know how you can stand all the smells and, ugh, sensations." She shuddered.
You sighed, waiting as patiently as you could in that moment.
"But I guess you should enjoy as much as you can while you can."
What ? Why would she say that ? Did you do something wrong ? Did they realize you... No. And they never noticed that you spent your time with a demon (angels were obliviously okay) and tried to match up said demon with Aziraphale. Did they finally catch up ? Or were they upset that you mostly lived with humans ? No, you are almost the best cupid, producing so much love, as proved by how many ducks you shot.
"M-Mh.. sure.. but, mmh.. I didn't know my time on earth was on a timer." You tried to joke lightly, which was heavily ineffective in calming your nerves.
"Of course not silly," she beamed. "Armageddon is coming !"
"Wha-" you sat up, almost tumbleling down. "Already ? Are you sure ?"
"Affirmative ! The anti-Christ is being delivered as we speak."
"Oh, great..."
You just wanted to cry right here and now, but you really couldn't afford to. It would be crossing a line.
It wasn't fair. You still had so much to experience on earth and so many love stories to create, and you wanted to spend so much more time with Crowley and Aziraphale. They still needed to be together ! You couldn't let the End begin before you even saw the beginning of their love story. No, uh-hu! You will go down with this ship!
"How long before Armageddon ?" you asked.
"Oh, I would say around ten years."
Alright, you could do it. You just had to help two opposite beings, who spend almost all their existence together without technically being a couple, become one. Because how thing should be. And you had ten years to do so, even if you hadn't succeeded in the last 6,000 years. It could work ! You knew them and their love for humankind and their world. They would certainly team up to prevent the war and apocalypse from happening. And you were there to help. In every way. You scratched your itchy right arm.
"Right, sure... well, thanks, Mihael. Send my regards to Adriel."
"I will, thank you ! Oh, and Chamuel ordered that we lay off all the workers during the last week before the war, so we could be ready to fight."
"Mmh-hm." You nodded. Alcohol was messing up your communication skills.
"Great ! See you at the war."
When you turned, she was gone, leaving you wondering how you'd end up like this.
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(4004 av-JC)
In the beginning, you were in the Garden of Eden. You were here to supervise Adam and Eve's love development; you didn't shoot the arrow, though. They would have never let you do it anyway. Actually, every creature in the Garden had been paired up, but you didn't get the chance to create any of them. As disappointed as you were, you were not the type to overstep and you couldn't express anything. So you decided to be patient and walk around the garden discretely.
You suddenly came to a stop when you spotted something unusual slithering around the diversity of plants. You walked up to a 'lilac' tree, which looked more like a bush than anything else, and you saw an animal that was crawling on the trunk among the beautiful purple flowers. The creature was so long yet flexible that it didn't have any problem staying on such a small platform. His colours intrigued you too—mostly black with touches of red—and you had never seen anything like this quite yet. Your eyes widen, and you slightly rush to observe it further. The snake, while taken aback, didn't move and instead glared at you. His eyes were so beautiful and golden, and his scales were spotless and sleek, but touching the poor thing would certainly scare him away.
"What a beautiful thing you are... I'm glad God decided to make you !"
The creature started to retreat as soon as your words passed your lips, looking flustered. Declining his embarrassment, you chirped hapily. And with a glimmering smile, you resumed roaming around the paradise.
The wall was growing bigger and bigger as I approached one of the gates of Eden, curious to see the border and maybe get a peek on the other side—a glimpse of the barren and dry land. You were an inquisitive thing; your curiosity was way stronger than your fear. Despite anyone says or believe. But as you gently approached the door, someone called you.
"Mh, excuse me ! Little cupid ?"
Oh ! You weren't that small ! Pff, guardian angels could be so strict sometimes.
You rolled your eyes, soared up in the sky, and let yourself turn upside down to see who was interrupting your investigation.
"Yes ?" you sighed. "Mh !"
You weren't acquainted with lots of angels outside your group, but you were sure that you had already seen him before. His appearance was so welcoming, despite the raging, flaming sword that carefully remained in his firm grip. His hair was white and as fluffy as a cloud. You couldn't quite grasp his eye colour, though, which was always changing between blue, brown, and green. His human body was round and large, a body type you'd never seen before. Yet you smiled at his soft appearance. His tunic seemed to be slightly covered with bright purple petals here and there. You turned over, lying on your stomach in midair, looking at him expectantly.
"Hello." He smiled, then took a ragged breath, looking for words. "Mh, I'm afraid I must request that you not go closer to that gate."
You looked away, apologetic.
"Oh, I see... Sorry."
You were conscious of how leaving your station could get you in trouble, and being so close to the door could bring him problems as well. You sensed how agitated he was and went on to leave him in peace.
"Well, mh, good luck with, huh, guarding the door," you said, trying to look less churlish than the way you acted merely seconds ago.
"Oh well, that's kind of you." He smiled, touched by your words. "Good luck with all the love."
Seeing how thrilled he seemed made you happy. Your body was taken over by the intense emotion in your heart, and you began to fly while looping and spinning vigorously.
Suddenly, you stopped. You've never experienced anything like it. Your primary role as a cupid was to make matches between creatures by shooting them with arrows. Your vision allowed you to perceive the chances of happiness and love each creature could produce while bound by the other. There were hundreds of possibilities, and your job is to make sure your "client" finds the perfect match. In order to do so, you had to be able to identify each emotion with clarity and precision. Minimising your own emotions to work in the most efficient way possible Thus, you shouldn't feel too much emotion despite the satisfaction of your good job and all the love you could eat. And in your case, anything...
Feeling such a rush of emotion shouldn't be something you're capable of doing. You shouldn’t be feeling anything. You observed your right hand, confused and visibly shaking. Closing your eyes, feeling irrated at yourself, you marched back to where you came, hoping to find new animals to shoot to occupy your mind.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Adam and Eve were gone. Apparently, a snake—well, a demon—tempted the first human, and now they had to leave the garden. Just because they wanted answers to their questions. Needless to say, you weren't very keen to try and look beyond the wall without permission.
So you were simply floating in the air right next to the wall, waiting for an order from your Boss. Gazing up at the sky, you noticed how its blue colour darkened as the first rain approached. You sighed and decided to just go back to Heaven, hoping you'd finally get the chance to shoot at someone. Some may call you obsessive; you prefer the term persistent.
As you were sitting up and flying up. And the moment you saw the tall structure disappearing in the corner of your eye, you kept going up. But, afraid you might regret not gazing back, you dared to dart your eyes down to the rest of the world.
"Huh?" you softly gasped.
You saw the desert spreading from your heart to the horizon, arid and lonely, with the clouds darkening the land. Your heart ached as you watched what lay ahead. And as you felt your eyes water, you lowered your gaze. And the sight that welcomed me was so out of this world yet felt so... right.
An angel and a demon stood next to each other, talking and fraternising. You didn't really fight the war, but you knew how both sides hated each other. The metallic taste was already way too familiar in your mouth. But the premise of their relationship already smelled so sweet, despite a wisp of sourness.
A wave of euphoria struck you in the most unexpected way, and the sensations it brought you were simply too delightful to feel queer. You saw their bound, so precise and distinct, that you nearly thought you were a part of it. It just felt so real. So good.
You were so excited ! You beamed with all your might as you desperately tried to manifest your bow and arrows as quickly as possible.
As a novice in archery, you wanted to correctly seal the bound, so you decided to place three arrows because, like no one has said yet, "Three times' the charm". You aimed leisurely, breathing deeply and checking the quality of your multi-coloured arrows. The grey head of it is silently hurrying you to shoot.
And so you did. With a faint whistle, the arrows raced towards their target. The first one landed right in the back of the demon, on his left side. The second was pierced lower, in the calf of the angel. It didn't even hurt them; it was a great shot, really.
You retracted your arm, proud of yourself.
Then, you simply went straight back to Heaven. Still, the sky looked so dark, and the rain started to pour down on your cheeks.
And you don’t know why, but a profound need to seek comfort made you look down one last time. The guardian had stretched out his wing for the demon to hide under. So thoughtful, so caring, so warm...
You left after your first match was a success.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
(Present days)
You later learned that matching an angel and a demon was strictly forbidden. You blushed at the thought, embarrassed. Yet you couldn't bring yourself to abandon the relationship. Well, now you had to be super efficient if you wanted that ship to sail at all.
You drank down your last glass of your favourite alcohol, paid for your decent amount of beverages, and wobbled yourself towards the Aziraphale bookshop.
You weren't always invisible when you dealt with them; you gave yourself plenty of time with them along the way. They were aware that you were an angel, just not the exact type. You don't think they mind your company, but you prefer to limit your interactions.
However, you were running out of time, and you really didn't want to miss a thing. You hummed the song that sneaked into your head on your way. Once you arrived in front of the door, you tried to stabilise yourself by resting your whole weight on it. And you tumbled down into the shop. In your defence, the door was always closed !
Aziraphale and Crowley both looked towards you, shocked. Well, Crowley was more amused than anything. You rasped into the carpet and pivoted your head to greet them profusely.
"Hellooo !" you exclaimed, your tone drowsy.
"Y/N ? Why, dear, what are you doing here ?" Aziraphale promptly came to your side, helping you up.
"On the floor ? Well, I obviously just fell," you jested. You felt weightless as Crowley joined you two to carry you somewhere other than the dusty floor.
"So, you heard about the End of the world, I presume?" Crowley asked. They both let you down slowly on your assigned divan. You felt a hand brush a lock of hair out of your eye.
"Mmh." You rolled on your side to face them as they sat down on the opposite side. You'll have to work on that too.
"Yeah, someone mentioned it..." you waved. A few moments passed in silence. You guffawed when you noticed the bottle settled on the table.
"Sorry, it seems I had a bit of a head start, but go on!" You laid down on your back. "I'll wait for you to catch up"
Aziraphale shot a slight disapproving look in your direction, pouting a little, while Crowley reached eagerly for the bottle.
"Don't mind if I do," he said as he poured himself a large drink.
Shortly after, the angel followed you two. Alright, setting up the mood... This silly matter is going to be settled in a matter of hours now! You were perfectly capable of doing so. Aziraphale raised his glass to you, and you flashed your teeth. They don't know what's going their way.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
And they didn't, because your smartass decided to evacuate all the liquor from your body by sleeping.
Now, as you wake up, they're talking about dolphins. Oh, sure, what adorable and romantic sociopaths they are. It's obviously the best choice of conversation !
"Everything will just turn into bouillaba-bouil... bouilla..."
You sat up, pushing away a blanket, and listened to those dorks trying to pronounce bloody "Boui-...llabai...." Well, that dish !
"Fish stew," you concluded.
"Anyway," Crowley said with a weary tone. "It's not their fault. And that's the same with gorillas! They'll say : 'Woop, the sky's gone red! Stars crashing down ! What do they put in bananas these days ?!'" His drunkenness struck you, and you realised what Armagadon really meant.
"All the creatures..." you started.
"Whether they'd be great or small..." Aziraphale ended.
You both looked distraught. You loved all those little things; you spent countless hours discovering every one of them. The first time you saw a whale, you got so emotional that you cried. Thankfully, you were underwater, so Aziraphale, who came with you that day, didn't see your unusual sensitivity.
"And there's worse ! When it's all over, we're going to have to deal with eternity !" he yelled, his voice squeaking like that of a chipmunk.
"Eternity ?" Aziraphale wondered, disoriented. He didn't quite understand why on earth Eternity would be worse than the End itself.
"You're just upset you won't be able to listen to musicals, while we will," you teased.
"And you'll miss my very constructive critics, especially on The Phantom Of The Opera !"
"You utterly roasted it !"
You were ready to argue your arse off, but Aziraphale had his own things to say.
"I don't like it more than you do. I can't disobey... I've got to do what I'm told... right Y/N ?" He asked for your support.
"Mmh nh.. Yes, sure, but I don't think they pay attention to these sorts of things." You suddenly gagged. You weren't sure that giving back the liquor to the bartender was such an idea, but you couldn't afford to throw up.
"Maybe we should sober up."
They both agreed and quickly got sober.
"Listen, even if I wanted to help you, we just can't." Aziraphale explained while glancing at you, once again to encourage him.
"It's true, Crowley, we're angels. We cannot interfere with God's plan," you said, lying back on the couch.
"But what about Satan's plan, mh ?" His red hair framed his head, and your eyes focused on his, snake-like and wide. His whole face was encouraging you to listen further.
"It's your job, right ? Thwarting the demonic plan. Encouraging humans to be "good", mmh ?"
"No need to quote..." you sulked.
"That's broadly what we do, indeed." Aziraphale conceeded.
"With that in mind, it would be totally reasonable for you to act on the birth of the Anti-Christ. To thwart my demonic influence on the child while he grows up. I'm the only one managing his evil upbringing. Against two angels with such pure hearts, I would highly struggle to stand my ground."
Wait up, two angels ? Uh, you were getting way too involved for the two of them to easily seal the deal. You needed a way out. Aziraphale was considering the idea, giving you enough time to hastily prepare a counterargument.
"M-mh, so much good energy would change the boy too much. Everyone will realise it. I think it's too much of a risk. No, it would be best if the two of you took care of him. You know, like, uh, godfathers !"
The pleased and hopeful look on the fluffy angel's face caused you to sigh in relief. Crowley, however, was frowning. You just grinned, gathering all your charm to erase any suspicion.
"Still, he's made to be evil; surely the influence of two angels wouldn't hurt."
Think of something. You had to get those two together !
"I'll be your safety net ! Assuring the Heavens that Aziraphale is doing an excellent job !" You gestured towards him, nervous and frantic. The angel flinched slightly but didn't say anything. You nodded and smiled before turning to Crowley.
"And ! I'll mess with other people's demon jobs ! Giving them plenty of things to keep their minds off the Anti-Christ's childhood." You clapped your hands and tied your lips together, praying it would be enough.
The demon was scanning your face, taking in what you just said and your attitude. Aziraphale then faced his friend and supported your plan by taking a place beside you.
"It would be safer and less noticeable." He placed a hand on your shoulder, and you looked up at him. When he noticed, he smiled in his reassuring way.
Meanwhile, Crowley had closed his eyes tightly, exhaling more air than normal humans actually had in their bodies. The dude's a balloon, apparently. His eyelids opened abruptly, and he offered his response.
"Ngh... fine."
Yay, victory.
"I can't believe I have to convince you to agree to a plan you created," you teased him.
"Er."
"It might work !" said Aziraphale happily. You hoped everything would go smoothly and that you could prevent the Earth from boiling, causing the destruction of either Hell or Heaven. You felt the angel almost wriggle next to you, and the demon smirked his way. Maybe it would be easier than you thought.
"Well, I'll be damned !" he exclaimed quietly. His brighting up the room.
"It's not so bad when you get used to it," Crowley answered mischievously.
And there it is. Hardships. Aziraphale lost his smile and looked at him with a warning. It really stuck in his craw.
"Crowley, don't they say thingz like that !" he scolded vigoursly.
"It's just a joke; don't make a big deal out of it." Crowley finally sat back, waving off Aziraphale's arguments. The angel took a step towards Crowley, standing in front of you. While he continued his rambling, the red head peeked your way and winked, obviously amused.
You rubbed your face with your hand but grinned as well. Easy ? Yeah, right.
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This is the first chapter of this series : "Two’s company, three’s a family"
I hope you enjoyed it and will stay around to see how all of this will play out.
Bye !
Parts : Next
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