#the timing of it all feels right cause we're both interested in building something up

[hotmess-exe]

the talk with my stand-up teacher was amazing!!! i'm prob gonna be bringing up that comedy debate show a shit ton in coming months :]]]

[chrissv4mp]

¡ YOU MADE ME HATE THIS CITY ! — CHRIS S.

chris masterlist & taglist // main masterlist

summary: you're not happy with chris. all he does is make you sad, and you're done with it.

pairing: chris sturniolo × fem!reader

warnings + topics: cursing, arguments, crying, chris is an asshole, driving under the influence, drinking, chris can drive in this one🗣, etc.

authors note: idk, basically how i feel when i'm with my bf anyway i'd listen to this album for a lifetime if i had to🗣🗣 I DIDNT KNOW HOW END THIS SOO sorry if the endinh is shit💔💔

word count: 4.9k

"when i'm away from you,

i'm happier than ever."

a laugh came from your throat as you grabbed taras arm, leaning on her for support as you both laughed your asses off at a joke told by nick.

he only smiled softly, trying to contain his own laughter as he watched his two friends. the taller boys eyes land on a guy across the room, and then he speaks, "hey, i'll be back. stay safe, and please don't go with any guys that look like creeps?"

you nod, and tara just smiles at him, "we won't, we're just here to have a good time. go get that man, nick!"

nick smiles, shaking his head as he looks away, turning his back to the both of you as he begins to walk to the other side of the building. tara turns to you again, tilling her head at the... sad look on your face?

"hey, what's wrong, babe?" her tone is soft, and she frowns slightly when you shake your head with a weak smile. your eyes meet hers, and she can tell somethings not right.

"there's clearly something wrong, y/n. come on, you know you can tell me anything. did someone do something to you? cause i swear on my life i'll beat their—" your eyes widen and you quickly cut her off with a nervous laugh.

"no, no, there's absolutely no need for that, tar," you give her a reassuring smile as you reach for her hand, running your thumb over her soft skin as you continue, "this is just the happiest i've been probably... all year?"

the shorter girl smiles, but then as your words hit, she feels another rush of sympathy for you, "well... i'm glad that you're having fun, but, you gotta let yourself be free some more, y'know?"

you nod, and then she continues, "go out with your friends, i'm free most of the time. and if you wanna be alone, then go do something for yourself, girl. i'm sure chris would also love to hang out with you."

he wouldn't, though. he didn't even come around most of the time, only texting you when he needed something and coming home just to sleep. hell, most of the time, he just slept over at some persons house who neither of you knew. he made you feel like you weren't lovable, always complaining about little things and then blowing up when you tried to defend yourself.

that's why you dreaded coming home after every hangout. you hated coming home to chris, just for him to yell at you and make you feel shitty. you really wish you could explain it better, the feeling he gives you. fuck, you even wished it was fake, the feeling of pure happiness whenever you weren't around the boy.

but everybody else's relationships are like this, right? it's normal, you tell yourself. everything chris has done to you is completely normal. you think. he hates when you think because he always say that your mind works in interesting ways. he always say that you have a terrible mindset, undermining your way of thinking.

"yeah. chris." you mutter, flashing tara a smile before you go to stare at your intertwined fingers, you don't even realize how hard your gripping her hand until she winces, "shit. i'm sorry."

she just shrugs, a reassuring smile on her face as she squeezes your hand. as she looks up at your face again, she frowns, "y/n..."

her mind wanders back to your last words, the mention of chris' name the one thing that set you off and made you act out, "it's him, isn't it? what's he doing to you? is he treating you badly?"

you want to tell her yes, you want to fall into her arms and just cry. all you want is to spill all your feelings out right now, to scream and scream over and over again, but you can't. you didn't want chris' reputation to go down the gutter, you really didn't want anything bad to happen to him, even if he did treat you like garbage. even if he treated you like actual shit, you still wanted a happy life for him, he was the one person who showed you love. the first person who actually cared for you.

but, as the years went by, he just... chris just drifted away, he got too caught up into fame, money, and girls especially. girls who weren't you and girls that looked completely different, it was like you weren't even alive most of the time. he treated you like you weren't his girlfriend.

"no, it's not him," another sad smile, and your voice almost cracks as more bad thoughts come to mind, "it's never chris."

tara notices the subtle change of tone, and only then does she reach her free hand out to rest on your shoulder. the bar stools were close enough together that your knees touched, and tara only pulled you closer to her. when you were finally in her arms, you let out a shaky sigh.

then, she hears you whimper. and now you're full-on sobbing into her shoulder, tears streaking down your face as you cry quietly. your body trembles, and you feel as if you let your of your best friend, you'll fall and never be able to get back up.

her hand comes up behind your back, rubbing it in a comforting way as she coos gentle things into your ear, her other hand coming up to your hair and stroking your h/c locks softly, "i know, i know, babe. just let it out, i'm here, okay?"

tara can't help but frown at your saddened state, eyes shutting closed as she continues to comfort you. her lips part again, and you feel a sense of relief wash over you as the words leave her mouth, "you can stay with me for tonight, and for however long you need."

"give me a day or two to think of something clever,

to write myself a letter

to tell me what to do..."

the only sounds in the room are your gentle breathing, and the loud screaming of chris on the other end of the phone. your index finger is wedged between your teeth as you bite down on your nail nervously, your eyes darted around, not knowing where to stay as you listened in to your boyfriend.

"where the fuck were you last night, y/n?" chris tries to contain himself, and you can hear his footsteps pacing back and forth on the hardwood floors of your shared bedroom, "why didn't you come home, i—y/n, what were you doing and where are you right now?"

a shaky breath leaves your lips, and you finally let your hand swing back to the side of your body, gripping the phone tighter, "i'm at taras house, chris. i just—i'm gonna be honest, and please don't get mad—i just need a few days away from... you."

you hear chris scoff on the other end, and you begin to speak again before he starts to blow up, "well, not you, specifically," yes, it was indeed him specifically, "i just wanted to get out of the house for a little... maybe a day or two, and then i'll be back, okay?"

"i knew when i asked you to

be cool about what i was telling you,

you'd do the opposite of what you said you'd do..."

you both knew chris wouldn't care, he didn't give a single fuck if you weren't around, but for more than 24 hours? that's where he drew the line because he knew that when you were around your sensible, smart friends, you would make bad good decisions. you would make decisions that would effect yours and his relationship, and he didn't want that because he needed to have somebody under his control.

he hated the idea of having no control. even if it was only one person her could control, he still had it, he still had somebody wrapped around his finger that he could get to do whatever he pleased.

"wha—y/n, what?" chris sighed, running a hand through his messy hair, "the fuck do you mean? you're coming home tonight, and if you don't i—"

"and i'd end up more afraid..."

chris cut himself off as he began to think. he shouldn't worry about you. fuck your friends, he would always find a way to get you back, so why was he begging you to get home?

a sigh was heard from behind the phone, and you raised an eyebrow in confusion, "nevermind, whatever, go fuck around. see you. bye."

then, the three beeps sounded in your ear. you scoffed, your heart aching at the fact that he didn't even he loved you. he always told you he loved you before he hung up... until a few months ago. you didn't know what went wrong, or where along the line something broke your bond. nothing happened that you could really remember.

"bye." you whispered, shutting your phone off and throwing it on the guest bed before you fell onto your back and landed on the silk sheets. a loud, exaggerated sigh left your lips as you dragged your hands down your face in frustration.

what was this boy doing to you? and why were you letting him do it? you didn't know how to answer the first question, but you had an idea for the second. maybe you liked the thrill.. or maybe you were just hanging on so tight you could never let go. if you let him go, the indentation of that metaphorical rope would still be there... and you'd have to live with the memory of chris. you could never live with yourself knowing you possibly hurt him.

"you clearly weren't aware that you made me miserable..."

but then again, if you let it go, the marks would fade soon, and then you wouldn't have anything to remember. it wouldn't be a constant reminder of chris and how he treated you. so, maybe you just had to let go and take your time to heal, hang around the right people or maybe even just take time for yourself.

a knock, and then two. you opened your eyes, sitting up and being met with the sight of tara leaning against the doorframe, "hey, can i come in?" you nod quickly, needing the distraction to get your mind off of chris.

you didn't even realize her moving closer until you felt the bed dip beside you, your head turning to meet taras eyes as you smiled softly. she returned the same smile, and then began to speak, "how are you feeling?"

no words came out of your mouth for a few moments as you tried to gather up all your emotions and try to put them into one word. but how could you if you were feeling almost all of them?

"i don't know." your voice was quiet, shy almost as you looked down at your lap. tara stayed quiet, letting you think for a moment as she stared at the side of your face, "i feel... angry, sad. gosh, i feel everything and i can't even fucking explain it, it's just so—"

a hand on your shoulder made you relax, and you stopped mid-sentence as tara rubbed your shoulder softly. your mouth shut, and you turned your head to look at her again, "you don't have to feel anything yet, y/n. i'm not gonna tell you to calm down because i would be livid if somebody said that to me, so, i'll just tell you this..."

"close your eyes and take deep breaths. take a moment to gather your thoughts, and then talk to me, okay?" her voice was gentle, quiet, and comforting. the mix of her touch made your entire body relax, and you smiled at her.

you nodded, turning your head back to face in front of you and then closing your eyes. inhale through your nose, count to 3, then exhale through your mouth. inhale, count to 3, exhale. over and over again until you were finally put back together, mostly. one final deep breath, and your eyes were open again. you turned back to your best friend, and she just smiled at you.

"i feel like shit, tar," your voice threatens to crack, but you don't let it, taking another deep breath before you begin to speak again, "this entire thing with chris... fuck, it's just so exhausting and it makes me feel horrible. i'm just chasing after him constantly, seeking his approval only to get disappointment and anger from him. it's like he doesn't even care about me, tara.."

you finally crack, and tears begin to well up in your eyes as you sniffle. tara frowns, squeezing your shoulder softly as she sees your state, "he doesn't deserve you, hon, seriously. i see the way you look at him, and he just gives you nothing in return. he treats you so horribly, i can't even—fuck. you just need to let him go, babe. and i know, it's gonna be so fucking hard at first, but you just have to push through that,"

"i'll be here the entire way through. you know i always have your back, even when you're in the wrong sometimes," you both chuckle at her small joke, "you deserve so much better than that dick, and i'm not just gonna sit here and watch from afar as he continues to break you down. you're gonna get through this, and i'm gonna make you forget he was even born."

you giggle at her choice of words, but you know what she's saying is right and that you need to listen to her, "okay."

tara smiles at you again, "okay. well, tomorrow we plan, and in the upcoming days we bring this fucker down."

your eyes widen and you put your palms up, shaking them in a protest, "woah, okay, we're not bringing anybody down, we're just getting me out of this hell-hole he put me in. is that clear?"

the shorter girl shrugs, a mischievous smile on her face, "same thing."

the phone buzzes on your nightstand, and you lean over to see who it is. chris' name pops up in bold letters at the top, his contact picture smiling brightly at you as he gives a thumbs up.

you came home just this morning, deciding that you would be fine to stay with chris for a little longer. you didn't want tara to deal with your shit. she didn't deserve to be wrapped up in this whole thing, and you didn't want to be seen a bad friend.

"hello?" you mutter, sitting back against the headboard as you cross your legs, preparing yourself for whatever stupid shit your boyfriend would say this time.

you didn't even know why he was calling. it was late at night, and he never called you. well, unless it was for a favor or something stupid. wasn't he supposed to be at a party with his "friends?"

chris giggles behind the phone, a dumb smile on his face as he stares at your through the screen. his hair is messy and his eyes are insanely red. was he seriously high right now? "hi—hey, y/n/n,"

"you call me again, drunk in your benz,

driving home under the influence..."

you gave him a smile, your eyebrow raising in confusion as you start to speak, but he cuts you off, "okay, i know what you're gonna ask, and don't worry, i'm calling you for—uh.. a good reason, mm'kay?"

"chris you're fucking high, don't lie to me." you sigh, squinting your eyes to see where he's at. it was dark, but you could make out that he was in his car. there was an open beer can in his cup holder, and only then did the realization hit you, "chris, what—christopher! what is that?"

the brunette looks down beside him, and he takes one hand off the wheel to grab the half-empty can, "it's beer, duh." he giggles, and you watch as he takes a sip of it before putting both hands back onto the steering wheel, "don't worry 'bout it, mamas."

"you scared me to death, but i'm wasting my breath,

'cause you only listen to your fucking friends..."

your eyes widen, and you furrow your eyebrows as a wave of—god knows what—washes over you, "chris, what the fuck do you mean 'don't worry about it?' you're driving drunk, you idiot!"

chris giggles at your outburst, eyes trained on the dark, empty streets of los angeles. he turns the wheel back and forth, driving a little over the speed limit just to get you on your toes. it works, and you swear you feel your heart stop. you don't even know what to say. you want to curse him out, gosh, you want to scream at the top of your fucking lungs but you know that'll only give him the satisfaction he wants.

how could you stay calm, though? he was pushing you so hard, you were bound to fall and break, "CHRIS! what the fuck—stop driving like you're fucking stupid, get off the road."

he doesn't listen, though, and you watch as he ponders his choices. he could either do what you say, continue to mess with you, or really test your patience. he smiles deviously and goes with the third option, "hm, there's a lot of mud over here, y'know?"

you don't even know how but your eyes widen more, breath catching as you squeeze your phone in your hands. your mouth is agape, and you feel tears prick in your eyes as his phone starts to shake. the car is moving faster now, and chris is grunting softly as he makes a wildly sharp turn, "chris!"

the phone falls to the passenger seat with a quiet thud, and chris screams loudly. you can't see him anymore. all you're met with is a black screen. a quiet sobs leaves your throat, and your eyes dart around the empty to screen for something, anything. did you just lose your boyfriend?

another cry, and now you're sobbing your heart out as you try to breathe properly. your free hand comes up to clutch the fabric of your shirt, trying to ground yourself as you make an effort to speak, "wha—no, no, no... chris?"

nothing but silence and the quiet hum of the car engine, not that you can hear it over the volume of your breathing. you can't even speak anymore, so shocked to the point that you freeze in fear. how were you gonna explain this to matt and chris? how were you gonna tell them that you could've stopped this from happening? how could you?

your heart aches, and your mind runs wild with all the questions that you'll have to answer. where is he? what happened? why did he do it? why weren't you there? why couldn't you help him? what the fuck is wrong with you? so many questions that you didn't have any answers for, "chris, please—i can't... fuck, i can't—"

laughing. he's laughing. wait, he's laughing? your eyes widen again, and you gasp, "oh my gosh, chris. chris oh my fucking—are you okay?"

he still laughs even as he grabs the phone, and as you finally see him, there's nothing wrong with the boy at all. there's no cuts, no broken glass or skin, no blood. you're grateful, but also confused. your mind wanders to endless possibilities, and you land on one you pray isn't true.

"oh my gosh, you should see your face right now!" he smiles, throwing his head back against the seat as he holds his stomach, "i got you so fucking good, hah! look at you, you're even crying."

and you were right. anger and disgust are clearly shown on your face now, and more tears begin to run down your cheeks, "what?"

why was this funny to him? was he seriously that fucked up to joke about literal death? chris just continues to cackle, "it's a prank, baby. now, calm down, don't start throwing a fit."

"i don't relate to you,

i don't relate to you, no."

you can't even describe how betrayed and angry you feel right now. maybe you were keen to the idea of bringing him down. no other girl should have to deal with his bullshit. you scoff, a bewildered smile on your face as you begin to speak.

"calm down? you're telling me to calm down, chris?" your smile fades as you continue, eyes darting all around his face through the phone screen, "you are so fucked up. you're brain is so fucked up, chris! what the hell is wrong with you?!"

chris just rolls his eyes, huffing quietly as he steps on the gas again. he tries shutting you out, but with how loud you're being, he really can't, "it's not even that big of a deal. not my fault you're always so sensitive, grow up!" he raises his voice, eyes on yours through the phone.

you couldn't believe this was the boy you once loved, screaming at you and telling you that you're the sensitive one, "i'm sensitive? you're getting mad at me for something you did, you asshole!" you yell, voice cracking at the end of your sentence.

chris groans, eyes squeezing shut as he slams on the breaks and punches the steering wheel several times. the horn beeps loudly, startling you for a quick second before you get used to it, "would you shut you're god damn mouth?! all you do is fucking cry and whine about everything!"

"yeah, i wonder why?" you scoff, not even giving him a chance to speak before you hang up the phone and let your hand fall to the side. you just want to throw the device at the wall, let all your anger out on something. on someone.

"'cause i'd never treat me this shitty.

you made me hate this city!"

"gosh, you are so insufferable!" chris yells, hands running through his hair before he tugs on it harshly. he turns his back to you, walking away a few steps before turning back, "what is your problem with me, y/n?"

your cross your arms over one another, letting your head tilt to the side as you take a step forward, "my problem is that you don't do shit for us, chris. you don't even try to keep our relationship running. i'm the only one who does, and you don't even care, do you?"

"you can't even look me in the eyes anymore. you aren't the boy i once knew, and i don't think you'll ever go back to him. you make me feel like shit every single day, chris!" you sigh, tears threatening to spill from your eyes again, "i can't do this anymore if you're not gonna love me like i love you. i'm not gonna deal with your problems anymore!"

chris stays silent, head pounding from all the stress and the alcohol he had earlier, "you'll come back."

you let your arms flail to the sides before coming up to rub at your temples, eyes fluttering shut as you sigh, "that. that's what makes me feel so... angry."

"you never listen! and you always think the odds will turn out in your favor, but they won't. that's not how life works, and we both know that. you just make it seem like you hate—" chris groans at your words, opening his mouth to speak, no, yell.

"like, i hate you? yeah, well, maybe i do, y/n!" chris' eyes are wide, and he looks like a rabid animal as he steps closer to you, "have you ever thought of that, or are you too in love to see it? god, i despise you!" it's not true, and he knows that. you know that.

"then why do you still call me baby and mamas? why do you even bother coming home each week and lying in bed next to me, huh?" a sigh leaves your trembling lips, and you finally look up at him, "you can act like you hate me, but you don't. you just want that power. you want me to come crawling back to you tomorrow."

"never told anyone anything bad.

'cause that shit's embarrassing, you were my everything

and all that you did was make me fucking sad!"

"don't waste my time, chris, i don't need you to come at me for something that isn't my fault. i'm over it!" you yell, and then you feel the rain.

it beats down on both you and chris as you stand in silence for a few moments, taking in the tense atmosphere as you stare chris down and he stares at the ground. he really was the pathetic one, and he had the audacity to call you that?

you can't even tell if the droplets running down your face are tears or just water from the rain, but you don't care about that, all you care about is getting an explanation from chris as to why he was doing all this to you.

he huffs, and then you begin to yell over the hard rainfall again, "so, why? why are you doing this to me, chris?! why even waste your own time on me when you could be fucking other girls?"

"you don't even need me, so why?" you cry out, clutching your now soaked t-shirt, "what's the point, huh?"

chris finally looks into your eyes, and now you can see his lower lip tremble and tears in his blue eyes, "because you're the only one who actually cares about me." it's fake. he's done this before, and now you're actually aware of how many times he's guilt-tripped you like this.

you shake your head, running a hand through your wet hair to get it out of your face. you weren't a kid anymore, and he should know better than not to try this stupid again, but he still does. the first time he did this, it resulted in shutting out both your mom and boy best friend, and then it continued. every other time this happened it always resulted in throwing someone out of your life, but not this time.

"don't try to make me feel sorry for you, chris!" you scream, and now you don't even care if the neighborhood hears. you needed to let these screams out or they would build up until you broke, resulting in you lashing out on someone, "gosh, i fucking hate you for doing this to me! you ruined me, christopher!"

chris looks down again, and now he feels the shame coming down on him, "fucking look at me!" but he doesn't, he keeps his head down and kicks a nearby rock.

you don't feel bad anymore because you know he deserves it. he lets you scream at him because he knows he deserves it. neither of you was in the right headspace in that moment, but you both didn't care. chris would forget in a few days, and you wouldn't. how could you forget after 4 years of this?

the brunette takes a few steps forward, hands reaching out to cup your face, and you huff angrily. your hands are on his chest the moment he's in your face, and you shove him back harshly.

"you ruined everything good,

always said you were misunderstood,

made all my moments your own..."

"just fucking leave me alone!" you scream louder than before, and chris takes a step back with wide eyes. his eyes are finally making contact with yours, and he sees all of the emotions in them now.

the rain seems harder now, and chris wipes his face with the back of his hand as he steps back to his spot, staring at you from afar as he watches you breathe heavily and cry. you've been waiting to get those screams out, chris knew that well. he knew that he treated you poorly, but he... didn't care, actually. he had the world in his hands and he could replace you in an instant, so why did it hurt just that little bit?

tears are now running down his cheeks, and he sniffles as he looks away. he wasn't gonna let you see him when he was the most vulnerable. he couldn't. chris just sighed shakily as he looked back down at the ground again, tucking his hands into his soaked pockets.

you're still staring at him, and when you hear him chuckle quietly, you furrow your eyebrows. he walks away.

"yeah, go try to find someone better than me, bitch!" he yells over the rain and then jumps into his car, quickly backing out of the driveway and sleeping down the road.

you feel like you're suffocating as you watch him leave, and you swear your knees will give out if you don't move or do something. how could he leave after that? how could he leave after he told you that you were the only person who cared about him? if it was true, he wouldn't have left. if anything he said was true, he would've stayed and comforted you, he would've tried to bring this relationship back into the light. but he didn't because it was never true.

your lips parted, and you squeezed your eyes shut as you screamed again. your throat would definitely be sore in the morning, but who cared right now? you needed this, and you weren't gonna let it boil over until you took your anger out on someone who hadn't done anything. you didn't want to turn out like chris did.

@livialifesblog

[archangeldyke-all]

I feel like if Vika had a baby she wouldn’t baby talk and have full on conversations with them. Like she’ll tell the baby how whiskey prices went up and how “fucking stupid” it is, or she’ll talk about some new kid at her job and how “the fucker” can’t do anything right LMAO

sugar u r the smartest person i know

men and minors dni

you and everyone who meets the baby talk to her like anybody talks to a baby, cooing and exaggerating and using an exaggerated baby voice.

your typical conversations with your kid for the first year of her life go something like 'awe, do you have a poopy? sweet baby made a big poopy.' or 'can you say: mama? mmmma mmmma?'

sevika, however, talks to your kid like she's an old friend.

you'll catch her feeding your daughter baby food, scooping up the goop that falls down onto her chin as she chats. "fuckin' silco was gettin' on my last nerve today. would you be pissed if we revoked his 'godfather' status? i know he spoils you, but i think we could find a suitable replacement, someone who doesn't have their head stuck up their ass. he thinks he runs the fuckin' place, he forgets we're co-owners. co. that means both. you're so lucky you don't have to work, you know that? you've got it made, kid, shit, you don't even have to feed yourself."

or, after you've had a long day at home with the little fucker, who's been screaming her head off and refusing to latch onto your tits to drink, you overhear sevika talking to her as she gently dances her around the living room. "you gotta give your mom a break, kid. i know you're probably sicka breast milk, but it's important you drink it, it's got all kindsa good shit in it that'll make you strong. like this, see?" she asks as she flexes the arm not holding your daughter. "keep drinkin' your milk and you'll be as strong as me in no time. well, you'll have to have a pretty strict workout regiment too, it's not all genetic. though, don't tell your mom, but i'm glad you've got my build-- she's a little wimp. you're strong like me. she hates it 'cause you came out so big 'n tore her pussy apart comin' out but i think it's great. you'll be a great athlete once you figure out the whole walkin' thing..."

or at bathtime, while she's got your baby in the sink, gently shampooing the two or three hairs on her head, you're guaranteed to find her catching your daughter up on the latest drama on the soap opera she swears she doesn't watch. "i know, it's fuckin' crazy! but, then, get this, molly, the homewrecker from season three? she shows up pregnant, swearing it's travis' kid! mind you, this is all at a funeral-- at shepard's funeral!" your daughter coos. "oh, shepard's the one who came out gay in season four but then decided to marry miriam in season five, because she needed her greencard." your daughter coos again, and sevika takes this as understanding. "right, you remember. anyways this pregnant bitch molly comes marching in while we're all crying because shep's dead, and she's like 'everybody look at me and my big fat belly!' turns out? she's stuffing her stomach with blankets..."

the funniest thing is that your daughter seems to understand it all, blinking up at sevika with big, interested eyes, absorbing her every word, cooing when she's silent, like she's responding to sevika's commentary.

after a while, it starts to rub off on you, and pretty soon, both you and sevika are talking to your little girl like she's an adult.

it's all fun and games until she starts talking, and her first words are 'fuck' and 'mama' and 'dickhead' and 'milk'

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki

[captain-mj]

Promise is a promise

CW: Infidelity, Soap is a bastard

Trying to breach out of my comfort zone, so here ya go! I'm not sure I handled the emotional part well, but I hope it'll suffice

Ghost had never been quite as happy as he was now. His team was supportive and understood his quirks. Work was going well as they hunted Makarov. And he and Soap had finally gotten together.

Ghost could admit, a big part of his good mood was that he had finally gotten laid. First time in... he gave up trying to count the years. Soap was great in bed. Both physically and making him feel comfortable knowing his... history.

But they went on dates and kissed and Soap called him his boyfriend several times. Ghost, in the dead of night cause he'd never have the nerve to do it in the light of day, had whispered that he loved Soap. Soap always whispered it back.

Right now, Price had caught Ghost to talk to him about Makarov. He listened, trying to take as much of the information in as he could, but he was still thinking about Johnny. His fingers itched to send him a message. Maybe they could sneak away together later? Ghost remembered Soap mentioning a movie he wanted to see. It wasn't something he'd be interested in, but Soap talked through every movie anyway so it wouldn't matter.

Price had stopped speaking, staring at him expectantly.

Ghost nodded and Price laughed at him. "Alright Simon. I'm glad you're doing better."

Ghost had no idea what he said yes to, but Price left him alone. Instead of sending a text, he grabbed some snacks from the canteen and just went to Soap's room.

Soap had mentioned that he liked spontaneity and Ghost felt this was a good place to start. He didn't even get to the door before he heard the grunting.

His face screwed up immediately, but Soap did share a room with Gaz. While he wasn't aware of Alex being at base, he couldn't be certain he wasn't in the area. He'd assume Alex would tell him immediately but... things happen.

Instead of barging in, he knocked quietly so that Gaz and Alex could get themselves decent before he barged in.

He heard Scottish cursing on the other side of the door along with scrambling. Ghost could feel his chest starting to crack. The pressure was building but he was naively, pathetically hoping, that he had misunderstood somehow.

Soap opened the door and had to look up. The pants he had haphazardly pulled on hung low on his hips and he hadn't managed to get a shirt on.

"Lieutenant!" He smiled, showing no shame over how Ghost had just found him. No discomfort. Since when did Johnny call him by his full title? Lt sometimes, maybe, but never Lieutenant.

The lad behind Soap did not show the same sentiment. He looked incredibly nervous. "Lieutenant."

Ghost stared at them both as Johnny slowly looked down at his hands where he still had whatever he could scrounge up from the canteen. Suddenly, he felt embarrassed coming to Soap's room like this. So embarrassed he felt nauseous over it. For a brief moment, he thought he was going to throw up all over Soap's bare fucking feet.

"Something wrong, Simon?"

"Don't fucking call me that, Sergeant." Ghost answered, voice so far away and cold it made Soap flinch.

"I know fraternization is looked down upon, but since when do you care about that rule?" Soap looked genuinely confused.

Ghost went through every moment in the past several weeks. Soap had referred to their nightly hangouts as dates like always. He had called Ghost all kinds of nicknames.

Had Ghost done something wrong? Must have. Simon Riley ruined something else.

Soap caught on. He always did. He looked at the other man and told him to get lost for right now. "We're alone now, do you want to talk?"

There were hickeys on his neck. That's what finally got everything through to Ghost.

"I thought we were together."

Soap frowned. "We are together."

Ghost felt like he was short-circuiting. "You just fucked someone else. What the actual fuck are you talking about? If we're together and you're acting like a fucking slag-"

Soap rolled his eyes. "Jesus, Simon. Forgot it's been a while since you dated. This is how modern relationships are. You should've asked me to be exclusive if that's what you wanted."

"I have to ask you to not cheat on me?"

"Woah, don't throw that word around."

Ghost dropped the food on the floor and shoved his finger into Soap's chest. "Why? That's what you did. You cheated on me. I trusted you."

Soap frowned. "Look, I'm sorry this hurt you. I'm used to people my age and rank. I should've known you would be a bit different."

Ghost felt like he'd been hit in the gut. He felt like an idiot. A lovesick fool. "Stay away from me, MacTavish."

Soap's demeanor changed, his face falling. "Wait, c'mon Simon."

"No. Don't you dare call me that. Clearly, I'm too fucking old fashioned. I missed something here. So, let me fix it. Don't talk to me. Don't come near me. Next time you want to get laid, call one of the other sergeants." Ghost barked at him.

"Oh, mo ghràdh." Soap tried to reach out and Ghost started to back.

Like a coward, he ran from him. He didn't go to his room, sure Soap would eventually go knocking. He also didn't want to deal with the disappointment if he didn't.

So he went to the only place he could in the base. Price's room.

Price didn't ask him anything. Didn't say a word. He just let Ghost sit on his couch and drink his whiskey and let him ruminate until Ghost felt sane. But unlike usual, Ghost did not feel sane the longer he thought.

"Something happen, Simon?"

"Ghost right now." He answered quietly. He felt displaced. Body shaken and wrong.

"Alright, Ghost. What happened? Trouble in paradise?"

"No. That's over."

Price nodded but Ghost could see his disappointment. He probably assumed Ghost fucked it up. Probably did. He just wasn't sure how yet. "I have some of your special cigars in my desk."

Ghost paused and looked over at him. "You're fucked, Captain. How did you even get a joint in here?"

"Eh, keep it in the desk in case you come walking into here."

Ghost nodded. "If Soap comes in here, don't let him know I'm here."

Price looked at him sadly. "I won't, Ghost."

So Ghost got as high as he could and thought over it all. His phone kept buzzing with Soap's messages. He went to check them and Price took it from his hands. "Mind if I read them?"

"No, sir. Soap will probably tell the whole base anyway."

Price frowned more and started reading through them. He eventually set the phone down. "Nothing in there you need to read, Simon. He's a right fucking bastard. Don't pay him any mind."

"It hurts." Ghost admitted. "First try in god knows how long. He said it was my fault. That this is how relationships are. Is that true?"

Price sighed. "I don't know. Been so long since I've had to date. Graves is old fashioned like me." He patted Ghost's shoulder. "Actually... I know you always turned me down before."

"I'm not sure I want to be set up on a date right now, Captain."

"Well, if you change your mind, I have a nice fella named Roach who I think you'd get along with swimmingly."

[malewife-overlord]

Six Cycles Later -- Part IV Puncture

hi i promised an update soon and here it is. everyone meet the woman the myth the legend the awful bully who will absolutely rip your head off and eat it, Puncture! fun little fact, Puncture was my first TF OC :) anyways, she's here at long last! which is, frankly, awful news for everyone else. this is another "transition" chapter, but dw, we're getting right back into it in the next one >:)

and once again thank you to @callsign-relic for starburst :)

previous chapter can be found here, start can be found here

word count: 4409

chapter below the cut!

triggers for this chapter: robogore. puncture's a bruiser and she doesn't take prisoners, rip.

She needed to get up, but she couldn’t even fragging move. Face down in the filthy water, Helmbreaker fought against her own systems for control, cursing both them and the Seeker who’d done this to her as pain wracked her circuits and wires. Error messages for every system she had stacked upon one another, fighting for the endless dominance of alerting her to just how fragged up she was.

Just one blast from the Seeker had done this. The damn mech had bite, she had to admit. The prior shock in her stasis pod had barely felt like a tickle–at the time, she’d been too enraged to even think about why she’d felt anything, locked within it. Now? She possibly owed the damnable thing a small apology, at least for keeping her from initially frying. 

For 2.3 million years trapped in a half stasis, though, she thought it more than deserved the painful death she’d given it. 

The little Autobot who’d inspired her current predicament was lying on his back in the water nearby, wings and servos twitching. She could see his mouth moving, but no sound was coming out. Just as her voxbox was currently glitching, proudly displaying its panic in the form of a bright red textbox, his was as well –which meant he couldn’t ask for help.

Good. It gave her time to permanently silence him. Given their prior interaction she knew he’d phoned for reinforcements, but as with all SOS calls, said reinforcements likely weren’t arriving for at least fifteen kliks. Which meant she had about five to get up, one to completely snuff his spark out, and nine to figure out whether she was in proper form to slaughter them all. 

Oh, and she needed to do something about the Seeker. That needed addressing, too.

‘Come…on…’ she thought to herself, twitching her claws. They sent ripples through the water as feeling began creeping back in. Her frame felt cold despite the heat around her, like she was being defrosted after an expedition on a dead planet. 

What in the Pit did that Seeker do? She found its ability interesting–something that completely disabled other technological forms, including other Cybertronians. Judging from how it had made her malfunction, it seemed to be rooted in causing glitches; none of the error messages she was observing were critical, notably. It was as if her systems had all been forced to grind to a halt, and the resulting build-up of inputs with nowhere to go was what actually caused her to become stuck.

Very, very interesting. Such an ability would make sense on a ‘con who specialized in weaponry, she’d think, like a tank or perhaps a drone. Why a Seeker? Seekers were by nature weak, lightweight soldiers designed to be flung at the enemy in droves so that the real hitters like herself could come in and clean up. They were expendable. Why put something so devastating on one?

They’re all dead. The words played in her processor again. She’d been in the dark for 2.3 million years about the status of the Autobot/Decepticon conflict, but she wasn’t fool enough to believe those lies. The Autobot lying nearby was proof enough that the conflict still raged. And the Seeker lying nearby, with such a devastating ability…

She wondered if, perhaps, the thing was in some way related to them all being ‘dead’. 

Which was what she would be if she didn’t pry herself off the ground. 

“GET…UP…” She ordered herself, arms shaking as they struggled to lift her heavy body out of the water. Her voxbox displayed one more warning, then blinked back online. Still, static distorted her words as they were spoken. “You’re…better…than…this…!”

If she had been down for as long as she was now in The Pit, she’d be dead. Period. Once one hit the dirt they had all of four seconds to recover, usually less. The higher level matches she’d participated in, the ones which had given her a name, were the ones where only one mech walked out functioning. And she was not about to be taken away in a body bag. 

“Hey…’Con…can ya pipe down?” The little Autobot squeaked out, his arm raising slightly as he spoke. “I’m…a’ready…tired…of ya voice.”

Oh, joy. He was back online too. 

She cast him a glare more venomous than the concoctions swirling beneath her mask. “How’s about I rip your audials out? Then you don’t have to listen anymore.” 

“If it means…never hearin’ you again…” And he chuckled, which sent a flare through her system so powerful her legs finally responded properly. 

The errors in her HUD swirled as Helmbreaker rose to shaky pedes. Her claws flexed over and over, forcing feeling back into them. She cracked her neck both ways, rolling it a few times before pushing her chassis out and parting her shell. 

Shell. Ugh. She didn’t even want to think about how horrible she looked right now. Did she even still resemble Helmbreaker? The claws were a drastic downgrade to her fists, and the shell on her back could never make up for the two halves of the battering ram she’d previously sported. Even if she couldn’t see her helmet, she knew it was missing her characteristic horns. And the mask she now wore, with its undesirable probosces? 

In all truths she understood why the Seeker purged on her when they’d touched it, but that hadn’t made the fact that it purged on her any better. 

The little Autobot was surprisingly unafraid as she took a step forward, then another one. It was hard going–her systems continued flashing errors, though they were gradually dissipating as time ticked on. When she loomed over the tiny Autobot like the Necrobot itself, he smirked despite his situation, wings flitting with agitation. 

“Well lookit…you! Comin’ ta…kick me…while I’m down? Typical ‘Con…can’t beat me…when I’m up…could ya?”

Her optics narrowed. “You misunderstand me, Autobot. I’m not going to kick you.” Looming over him, she raised a pede. “I’m going to crush your helm and hang your body from the trees.” 

And that’s when the reality of the situation finally seemed to hit him. The little Autobot’s wings suddenly stopped, his entire body stiffening. Beneath his visor she could see how his optics went wide. 

Primus, she loved that. The fear in their optics when they realized they were going to die was just as thrilling as the portent of a strong opponent. She grinned beneath her mask, probosces twitching excitedly without her even thinking of them. 

“Any last words?” She said. “Beg.” 

And beg he did. 

“My buds–my buds are coming!” He yelled. “If-If ya don’t hurt me, they’ll–they’ll be nice with ya! I can put in a good–a good word! I’m, hey, I’m just a little guy, ya know? A little guy! What was I gonna do to you and the seeky?”

Seeky. Oh, she was absolutely using that against the next one she found, considering the other one was probably dead. Probably.

“I recall you saying you would put in a ‘good word’ if I surrendered. You seem to be offering me the same thing if I spare you.” She tapped a claw against her mask. “Seems like you don’t have much to offer beyond that, hm?” She lowered her pede, letting the claws on it grip the edges of his helm, but applying no pressure beyond that. “Your allies, they’re on their way now, right?”

“Ye-yeup! And they’re more’n capable of takin’ you down, so you better keep me ‘round, so they won’t–”

“How many of them?”

“Wha? Uh…at least seven!”

Seven Autobots. She looked her claws over, opening and closing them. They were no fist, and with the last of her errors closing in her HUD, she decided some practice wouldn’t hurt. Seven was plenty. 

“Then it seems you’ve nothing substantial to offer me, Autobot.” She spoke it without even looking at him. “Bye.” 

He screamed out a “WAIT–” right as she began to apply pressure. The impact forced him below the water, pink bubbles rising as he screamed in pain. She smiled sadistically at the sound of his helm cracking, splitting open to reveal his delicate inner circuitry and processor. That was her favorite part. Pink rose up in streams. Applying a bit more pressure, she counted on her claws. Three, two, o–

An energon bolt shot into her chassis, the impact knocking her back. Planting her pedes, her gaze shot in the direction the bolt had come from as her body hunched, probosces flexing as an enraged buzz roared out from within her. Was that seriously her battle cry now? 

“Back off, ‘Con!” Through the trees, an Autobot only about half her size emerged–he looked like some kind of water vehicle. She raised an optical ridged and quickly scanned the area, where was his–

Another bolt zapped into her helm, this one from the left. The surprise left her staggering back, almost losing her stance as she struggled to adopt a wider one to face them both. Her HUD flashed red for just a moment before the damage scan automatically began, confidently informing her that her armor was at 85%. 

The blow had been more of a surprise than anything else. 

The second Autobot swooped down, doing a flip to transform back into his robot mode. A kind of aircraft, though nothing like the Seeker jets that her fellow ‘Cons utilized. Even the aerial forms of Autobots were inferior to them, just like their fighting styles. 

Two of them. She could take them. But where were the other five? 

“Starburst!” With the aerial one defending him, the terrestrial Autobot quickly moved to Starburst’s side, pulling him away from her. She scoffed at the motion, staring down the barrel of the rifle aimed for her helm. 

“That’s it? This is all you Autobots thought to send!?” She scoffed, splaying her claws. “Don’t make me laugh!”

“Back down,” the aerial one warned, servo snuggly fit on the trigger of his rifle. “There’s no need for anymore fighting.”

“Damage is bad–he needs urgent repairs,” the terrestrial one said, hoisting Starburst out of the water. Oh, yes. Her handiwork was on full display with his shattered visor and bent faceplate. His helmet was crinkled like pathetic aluminum, and Energon was leaking from dozens of cracks. “Can you handle him?”

“I’ve got this,” the other assured, not once taking his eyes off Helmbreaker, who was now rather annoyed. 

“I’m a femme, you inconsiderate slag,” she snapped. “And if you had even half the broken processor he does–” she gestured at Starburst, “--you’d both be running for your sparks by now.”

“You wish, ‘Con. Radio for help and get him back, I’ll–”

And before he could even finish his sentence, she lunged. The aerial one discharged his weapon immediately, a painful bolt firing clean into the right side of her chassis. Her armor smoked, an irritating heat building just beneath it, but held. She was on him before he could even comprehend the lack of damage, claws swiping straight for his helm. 

It didn’t knock it off, like her proper fists would have. Instead, she claws pierced clean through the metal, ripping it open like paper. She felt cables snap and heard metal shriek as the impact knocked him to the ground, rifle abandoned to grip at his face. Energon splattered into the water and painted her claws in a thick layer. 

She flicked the stuff away and she turned her gaze on the terrestrial one. His optics were wide with terror, caught between defending himself or trying to make a break for it with his injured ally. She took immediate advantage, charging for him. 

He dropped his ally just in time for her to tackle him to the ground, crushing him with her full  weight. Judging from just the creaking of metal alone, he’d need a trip to the mechanic after the action. She’d change that to the morgue. 

Rearing up, she clicked her claws together into their scythe mode and punctured clean through his helm, ripping it free from its cables with a twist. Pink rained out of the wires that hung from her trophy, which she raised overhead as if displaying to an invisible audience. Rivulets of the stuff ran down her helm and chassis, leaving trails over her new black paint. 

A burning pain suddenly lit up in the center of her back, the impact causing her to stumble forward ever so slightly. Glaring over her shoulder, she spotted the aerial one on one knee, pointing his rifle at her again. Several gouges had completely torn his faceplate and helm, displaying his delicate inner workings to the world. One optic was threatening to fall from its socket. He didn’t care.

Bolt after bolt shot into her as she turned, tossing the helm of her trophy aside, and calmly walked to finish off her prey. As death closed in on him, manifesting as a wickedly sharp sickle, she didn’t once see fear in his optics. 

SLUTCH

And his limp frame hit the ground, now devoid of its vital helm. She met its gaze on her scythe as his lights went out, ensuring that the last thing he saw was her victorious expression. He was a fighter, that one. How unfortunate he picked the wrong side. Then, like she’d done so many times before, she raised his helm over her head and roared. 

There was no audience besides the organics, but they would suffice. And hey, perhaps there were a few Autobots in waiting, hiding after what they’d seen her do to their friends. 

“REMEMBER MY NAME!” She screamed. “KNOW WHOM YOU FACE! I AM–”

A ripple in the water caught her attention and drew her gaze to her own reflection. There, looking back at her from the murky depths, was a black Insecticon. Long hooked claws made up her servos. A shell in the shape of wings hung on her back. Segmented plating covered up her chassis and bent antennae twitched on her helm. 

She was Helmbreaker. But the mech looking back at her was not. She’d felt it when she first woke up, all those millions of years ago, this sense of wrongness, that all of a sudden, the plating she had been forged into had changed, and it wasn’t hers anymore. And the thing in the water, the thing she was currently inhabiting, was not named Helmbreaker. 

She was not Helmbreaker, if she was this. Then who was she? 

The sound of water splashing broke her out of her thoughts. She looked to the sound only to see Starburst back on his feet despite his injuries. Their optics met for only a second. 

And he immediately transformed, blasting off into the sky before she could swipe at him. 

A dozen thoughts ran through her processor. He’d bring back reinforcements. He’d announce her presence to everyone. With his escape this planet’s hostility towards her was sealed. The entirety of the Autobot army could very well come for her now–her and the Seeker. The clock was ticking on them both–the very last of the Decepticons. 

And she laughed.

“TELL THEM! TELL ALL OF THEM WHAT HAPPENED HERE!” She roared after him. “AND REMEMBER MY NAME!”

She had about one second to pick a name, and decided to follow the tradition of her finishing move. 

“I AM PUNCTURE!”

—---------

The organics were weak, but they did their job well enough. Puncture pulled the vines taut and wrapped them around the roots of the trees, suspending the Autobot’s heads just below where the branches sprouted. Beneath the trees she’d dragged both the bodies, slumping them against the trunks. Stepping back, she admired her work only for a moment–it was a pitiful display of her capabilities, but it would serve well enough as a warning to any who wanted to approach this place. 

She’d have to bet on it intimidating her future opponents in some way. Autobots attacked in swarms. There were few lone fighters who knew the true glory of combat and who dedicated themselves, body and mind, to the thrill of taking down an equally skilled opponent in a rapturous death match. No, the majority tended to pair up and gun down whoever they saw running across the field. And they called it victory. 

She spat, additional pink Energon mingling with the stained water. Then she headed back for the Insecticon ship. 

The Seeker was slumped against a chair on the bridge, optics dark. It had entered stasis before she’d even found it, and no amount of banging its helm with her claws had woken the damn thing up. This was inconvenient to her for a multitude of reasons, with the least being that she didn’t have someone she could boss around, and the most being that her connection to the rest of the Decepticon force, be they alive or dead, was now cut off. 

She perhaps had herself to blame for it a little, but she was too proud to admit such a thing, and instead blamed it on the faulty wiring of mass producer shlock. It wasn’t like Seekers were particularly useful on the best of the days. The Elite Trine earned their name (and place) from the fact that, unlike the rest of their ill-fated brethren, they’d had the fortune to be blessed with abilities that made them slightly more than sitting cyberducks on a pond. 

Didn’t mean any of them were particularly good at combat, though, and didn’t mean that the Seeker she had, despite boasting such an ability, was any good. 

She stepped into the ship and did her best to at least partially pull its stuck door closed. She’d done a number on it while enraged, and the metal cried with an agony often reserved for gamblers regretting their life choices. Leaving it, she gave the damn thing a powerful kick that left it dented, just as she’d done for all those gamblers who’d been thrown into The Pit. The door, unlike them, survived. 

Her best bet was the stasis pods, she thought, or perhaps reactivating the bridge in some way. All ships had self-repair mechanisms, and all of them had at least some way of repairing their crew. It had been millions of years, and she didn’t doubt that her Insecticon brethren had possibly ruined their ship beyond repair, but she had to have some hope. 

Because if she didn’t, and what the Seeker had said was true…

But it wasn’t, because Seekers were weak and lied to get what they wanted. Ask Starscream. 

She snickered and ducked into the stasis pods room, her danger sensor already going off. She tried to mute the damn thing as she approached the last of the pods, still as dark as the day she’d stepped into her own. It was fully intact and completely unused; surely, it had to be functional. 

She tacked her claw onto the screen and encountered her first problem: it wasn’t picked up by the sensor. Puncture tacked it a few more times, tried pressing all of her claws against it, and even bopped it a few times with her palm. Nothing.

Without proper servos, she was dead in the water. Well, nothing the Autobots couldn’t fix. One torn off servo later, she was back with a proper appendage. The screen responded this time, lighting up with a cheerful blue…and immediately corrupting.

She growled and gave the pod a kick, which made a dozen error messages pop up. When she tried to close them, more took their places. Her danger sensor was beeping wildly in her HUD, filling her processor with reminders of being trapped in a small, circular space, crammed in on herself, plating melting and reshaping, code being pushed straight into her mind and replacing everything she was, rewriting her from gladiator to Insecticon–

She yelled and punched, not even thinking about what she hit. Despite claws having replaced her fists, they still broke through the glass from force alone. The entire upper half of the pod shattered and fell away, clacking onto the floor in a glittering mess. 

She screamed in frustration and threw the severed servo away, turning and unleashing her frustration on the pod. Metal tore and sparks flew. Wires poked forth and were promptly chopped. Throughout it all she screamed, over and over, as if berating the mindless thing would somehow make its death all the more humiliating. 

When it was done she gave the mess of mangled metal one final kick before returning to the bridge. The damn thing was probably fried from the stupid Seeker anyways. That meant she only had the bridge to work with. 

She approached the computer that had once powered their small shuttle and tapped on its keyboard, commanding it to wake up. When the screen failed to respond to the buttons, she yelled at it, demanding it function. That didn’t work either. 

Exasperated, she ran her claws over the keyboard, scattering keys everywhere. They made quiet ploosh sounds as they disappeared into the water submerging half the ship. That irritated her even more, and she considered turning her rage on the walls before her optics landed back on the Seeker. 

Perhaps she could just pick its processor instead. It ran the risk of killing it, but hey, can’t make a clock without breaking a few gears. Stepping forward, she grabbed the Seeker’s helmet and attempted to wrench it from the Con’s head. 

Cables and wiring strained as she pulled. It seemed Seeker helmets were directly attached to their heads, which made the entire process more difficult for her. Scowling, Puncture let go and considered just what parts she could rip off nonlethally. Audials, optics, finials…

But the more she thought it over, the more it seemed that she wouldn’t be able to access the Seeker’s processor without ripping half of its helm open and killing it. Huffing, she backhanded the thing and crossed her arms, glaring down at its unconscious form. Part of its faceplate was now ruined, stricken with three marks. 

“You sure left me in one hell of a situation,” she muttered, tapping a claw on her arm as she began to pace. “Where the hell even am I?”

Earth, she knew that. But where on Earth? How close was she to the nearest Autobot and Decepticon outposts? What was the approximate amount of soldiers each side had? 

How hadn’t her side won yet?

She needed answers. Before taking on any great opponent, it was important to study them–their habits, their flaws, their strengths, and most importantly of all, their morals. How depraved her foe could become when desperate was key to preventing herself from being caught off guard. 

They always grew desperate when they realized they were going to die. She’d seen it happen thousands of times before, whether it was her hand causing it or one of her brethren’s–her real brethren. The mechs she’d been forged alongside in the Pit.

They were dead now. They’d been stupid. Strength was the most important trait to have in the Decepticon ranks, but intelligence could not be understated–and that was what she’d had over them. Even if her fighting spirit had also once demanded to take on Megatron, despite seeing what he’d done to Strutsnapper and Sparkripper. 

Strength wasn’t cutting it here. She’d killed the two Autobots with ease, but what of when fifty of them came raining down? A glorious death in the field was her fate, but so early? And as this…thing? Her claw tapped faster. No. There had to be something else more she could do. 

Passing by the open door, Puncture looked at the display she’d made. The two Autobots had been weak, and all they were now was evidence of such. They were weak, and their brethren would come to take them home and bury them in coffins, as opposed to leaving their bodies out in the middle of the field…

Her gaze drifted back to the Seeker. Trapped in stasis and on the brink of death, if she left its body outside by the Autobots, then they would certainly find it, and being soft-hearted, take it in. Repair it. Claim it was to be “brought to justice”.

And wherever they went, she could follow. Wait till they were finished, then take her freshly repaired ally back. 

It would be a lot of fighting though…and she had no way of repairing herself. She looked at her newfound claws and frowned. They were nowhere near as effective at instant incapacitation as her fists had been. Her body had been drastically changed from its original state as a tank, surely it had to have come with some kind of benefit to make up for such a loss of power. 

She supposed, then, it wasn’t an awful time for a self-examination. Even if it was something she had been putting off. Acknowledging how much she had truly changed made it harder to convince herself that reverting completely was possible. 

She didn’t know if she wanted to live in a world where this was what she was stuck as forever. 

Running a self scan and checking her joints and features over, Puncture learned a few things about her frame she already knew–and didn’t. 

What she already knew? Her new frame was modeled after an Earth organism. This modification came with new features such as claws, a shell to defend her back, antennae to detect changes in the air, and venom in her proboscis to incapacitate prey. 

What she didn’t know? It was something called an “ambush bug”. Ambush bugs were, true to their names, ambush predators. They used their scythe-like claws to grip onto their prey, and jammed their proboscis in to paralyze it. From there, all the prey could do was watch, trapped in its own frame, as its innards were liquified and consumed. 

As a predatory creature whose primary food source was Energon, her prey choice was apparent. The probosces on her faceplate were designed for piercing plating, and the venom boiling behind her mask was more than sufficient for melting it. And as an ambush predator…

Well, it wasn’t her style. But it would do fine enough for infiltrating an Autobot base. They’d come back for their dead. They always did. They’d find the Seeker and take it in. She’d follow right behind. 

And if what else she read on her scan was true…they wouldn’t once see her coming. 

[janewaykove]

Title: The Switch

Characters: Janeway/fem!reader

Rating: PG

Warning: Sex toys.

Another day, another weird adventure. This time, a strange anomaly from a nearby Nebula caused you to switch bodies with Captain Janeway. You'd been in a relationship for quite some time, but you had no idea the weight she carried on her shoulders, and elsewhere, from the stress.

When the switch took place, she was in her ready room with Tuvok and Chakotay. You were in her quarters waiting for her to end her shift in a couple hours. She'd gone from being herself in her ready room, to being in her quarters. She made her way into the bathroom and saw your reflection in the mirror.

You went from being yourself in her quarters to being in her body in her ready room. Tuvok and Chakotay immediately saw your panicked behavior and knew something was wrong. Janeway quickly, and quietly, contacted you to confirm things and told you to casually leave the ready room and meet in her quarters. She filled Tuvok and Chakotay in while she waited for you to arrive.

Janeway didn't want everyone to know about the switch, so she had you (in her body) stay in her quarters while Chakotay took over her duties on the bridge. She (in your body) reported to sickbay where she worked with the doctor to reverse the situation.

While you waited, you couldn't help focus on the stress you felt in this body. Janeway's muscles were tense and you could feel the knots. And then you had an idea. You used the replicator to conjure up some stress-relieving toys. You smiled at your own brilliance and got onto the bed with the gadgets.

You started with the small bullet vibrator. It pulsed at just the right tempo. Then you moved onto the dildos. Some were small big, some were small, some vibrated, some did not. It didn't take long for each item to do its job well. All that pent up stress flowed out willingly, so to speak. With each orgasm, you felt lighter and more relaxed. You made your way into the bathroom and took a long, hot soak in the tub. Before you knew it, an hour had passed! You got out of the tub just as you got a call from Janeway.

"The doctor and I have found a reversal for our little situation," she said optimistically. "Is everything okay there?"

You assured her everything was fine and that her body was well taken care of. You had to keep from giggling at that. She said the switch should reverse itself in about 10 minutes if all goes according to plan.

You got dressed and discarded the toys, even though you planned to tell her about them once things settled down. You plopped down on the bed to catch your breath. You turned your head and saw a small remaining dildo on the night table. Before you could sit up, the switch occurred and you found yourself in sickbay with the doctor staring at you. "Did it work?" He was overjoyed when you nodded, but slightly concerned at your disappointed expression. But you couldn't very well tell him you forgot a dildo.

Janeway found herself on her bed. She felt relaxed. More so than she remembered her body feeling in a long time. She opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was a small dildo on her night table. "Ah, that explains it."

On your way back to her quarters you wondered of she'd see it. Maybe she didn't notice. You arrived to find her waiting inside the door, her hands positioned behind her back. She was glad to see things were back to normal.

"That was interesting," you spoke, breaking the silence.

"Yes," she agreed. "But let's try not to make a habit out of it." She brought a hand out from behind her back. She was holding the dildo. "This, we could make a habit of," she said, causing both of you to bust out laughing.

"You're not mad, then?" you asked.

"Mad?" She waved the dildo in the air nonchalantly. "I haven't felt this good in ages. We're definitely revisting this. But I need to get back to work and build up some more stress, first"

She gave you a small kiss and left you with the dildo as she made her way back to the bridge. Turns out, switching things up a bit did some good after all.

The end.

[camphorror]

ok so hello people of tumblr. who wants to know what happened since i last regularly posted here????

i became friends with this girl at work i was loooowkey crushing on, we became too close way too quickly. she confided in me a month and a half into out friendship how she had a crush on a***d which caused her a sexuality crisis bc she was convinced she was gay until then. i felt weird but loved her too much to let something silly like this ruin the friendship. he started hanging out with us, i felt real fucking baaaaaad. life situations led me into telling a***d i liked him for ages. he said we're too good friends to ruin it, we're beyond that point! if i had said something earlier then maybe! then i found out he liked her!!! but he decided because of me he would stop talking to her!! i was living thru insanity bc of it. then me and him spent a month and a half being friends but also more than friends? but also "it's just good friends it's nothing romantic bc i said i don't feel the same i don't wanna ruin it you're one of the utmost important people in my life up there with my childhood friends blahblah" and we cuddled and hugged every time we met, texted every day after work until late at night, went thru a kissing/making out one evening after drinking a lot of alcohol drama. he initiated all of this!!! always!! i was in this weird grey area and thought everything is Fine because i know it's not a good idea

then almost a month ago he decided to ask her out! he didn't tell me in advance (despite the fact i told him if you ever choose to act about your feelings just say so). she did not tell me about it despite me being transparent with her all along, and despite telling me she thinks friendship is more important than all of this. so this went on for a week and a half, without me being told, whilst i was feeling weird asf and convincing myself i'm going crazy because of my anxiety bc everything was Normal. and then i found out thursday march 28th (haha a month ago exactly.. what a coincidence) because we were together and he said he can't wait for a "right time" like she wanted to. all of life collapsed from the feeling of betrayal from and anger at both of them. first i hated her, now i realised i hate him because he was at fault for all this messed up shit and took zero responsibility the one time we talked. i gave 2 of them chances to talk as some closure and we haven't spoken since. i truly hate him and think he's a shit person.

took a whole week off work after that first happened. was depressed at home. one day i decided to dress nicely and go meet my friend who just came back from abroad at the city of christ..... told her everything. then she took me to see a cool hostel i'd like bc it's in an ancient building. guy who works there studied with us but i didn't remember him lol. we talked & had wine then i got tipsy i overshared everything. he was the most charming and cute person i met.... (& a proper proper leftist too). we spent 3 hours there with him despite my friend wanting to kill me bc that WASN'T the plan. he was overly friendly, had a very interesting vibe.. esp abt the situation... then he told me how he's going abroad the next day and perhaps is gonna break up with his ldr gf... we sat together whilst my friend was in another room/on the side on her phone (I APOLOGISED PROFOUNDLY) and he even showed me pics of him from the gym... my biggest regret is when we left, had food with my friend and just got on the bus, he texted me on ig that i should come back to say bye again.. i didnt... then he came back from abroad last week and sort of said if i got the time i should come visit.. so of ci did lol but the Vibe was gone (as like... he didnt break up with the gf and therefore there was no vibe & i was fine with it lol). he asked me if i want him to teach me how to fight and i said yeah so besides updating him again on my woes we also literally fought with each other which was fucking fun. like he was properly teaching me what to do in a fight. i'm still feeling sore (that was 2 days ago) he is so cool and i wanna be his friend now that i am not cr*shing on him...

besides that life is still grim and i am going back to work in a day and gonna have to see those 2 people who ruined my life again aaaaand i know my mental health will take a dive. what do you even do when this shit happens

[shirefantasies]

I have only asked for one matchup in the past like 8 years of imagine blog requesting but I figured hey, why not? I've been reading your blog nonstop for like 2 weeks, lol! Lets see, I'm about 5ft 4 with a bob of ringlets and a round, even, bespectacled face. I'm pretty curvy and perhaps on the heavier side but I've got a lot more strength to my frame than most give me credit for! In the day to day folks look at me and think I'm a 100% cerebral kind of person and for the most part they'd be right, at least when I was younger. I used to be the ultimate shut-in for the simple fact that I suffer from a family curse on my father's side- when we aren't learning we feel like we're *fucking dieing*(i didn't make tht up it's the family running joke!). These days I'm much more outgoing; I play DnD in 2 groups, have tons of online friends I talk to regularly, I've got a routine of 'sister night's where me and my sister paint together, I sing in a chorus, and I've got study sessions with my mentor going too- so I'm kinda a former-antisocial-dork-turned-deliberate-part-of-their-communities kinda chick. I feel like if i was dropped in middle earth I'd wanna try and build a printing press, my first degree was in graphic design so I know a ton about all the different kinds, I'd love to share! After all, what's the point of learning if you don't use your information to *help* people? Guess I'd be a scribe if I was born there tho. I skew towards liking the hobbit characters more than LOTR, but I'm up for anyone that's in both, too. Congrats on 300, you deserve it!!

Thank you so much for your support and heck yeah, *you* deserve the treat of a matchup too 😘 I’m so glad you said that about the hobbit characters because I definitely had someone in mind for you…

Dear Ori!

Ori finds out someone is causing quite a stir with a new invention, so of course he has to see what all the fuss is about! Something about a revolution amongst his world of scribes happening right at the foot of his home down in Dale. Making his way down to the study named, he musters up the courage to knock on the door. Coming to call unannounced isn't exactly the most polite behavior, he knows, but then again this inventor must be having a lot of that these days. He isn't expecting to see a cute young woman open the door, though, and his first thought is one hoping you aren't just the inventor's wife opening the door for them.

You are not. The moment Ori shyly greets you, asking if it's true what the scribes are saying about an exciting new device, your eyes light up and you usher him in. Inside your home is a bit messy, but the comforting sort of messy where charming china sits out atop tables, game boards at their sides, papers are strewn about with notes and diagrams and drawings Ori wishes he could see better. A potted plant sits in one corner with an unfinished sketch of its likeness on the adjacent shelf. A fire is fighting its best to stay lit behind an elaborately styled metal gate, no doubt to keep it that much further from all the paper. All in all, Ori thinks to himself that this is somewhere he could live. As you begin taking him across the room to a door, you animatedly discuss your many trials and errors before you reveal your masterpiece. A great structure with some sort of metal rod and a bunch of blocks? Printing press, you call it. You had blocks for each letter, the rod pulled down to press the ink down... "Now we can save some time if we need a lot of copies! What do you think?" You stood there with your head expectantly tilted, hands clasped in front of you. "They say Thorin or Bard might like something like this for decrees, but as a fellow scribe do you see a future with this?"

Gaping at your smarts and flushing at the faint flutter of your eyelashes, Ori nods. "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen, and I fought a dragon." "You...fought a dragon?" It is your turn to gape as you peer at the dwarf with new interest. "Threatened to show him dwarvish iron where the sun don't shine," he replied with a proud smile, arms crossed, "but you know, in the end Mr. Bard got 'im. We all showed him what for, though! This tops that by a long shot, though- how'd you think of this?" Kettle on first, hours of discussion later. Soon it was near nightfall and Ori was apologizing profusely and you were waving it off, asking him for promise of a return with the sketches he mentioned.

A whole new page of sketches gets dedicated to figures with bobs of lovely curls, gorgeous curves that have Ori blushing, smiles upon a round, cheery face and spectacles never fully betraying the eyes' secrets. Whole hours of Ori’s day get dedicated to carving blocks for your press and trying them out with you and feeling his heart flip at the way you take his hands and leap in celebration. He can listen to you talk, whether it’s explaining your invention process or the instructions of the game you’re teaching him or even simply sharing some random animal facts from the latest book you picked up, all day, he thinks. And then one day as he’s leaving you press a kiss to his cheek and that’s it.

Flowers and a new book are thrust into your hand the moment you open the door, Ori standing before you telling you how much he likes you and can’t stop thinking about you and you positively must interrupt him to tell him he’s been like home to you or else he’ll keep going, the poor dear. He wants to take you out that day, walk you around proudly and savor the feeling of your hand in his as he shows you off.

Taglist: @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart @kilibaggins @mossthebogwitch @ibabblealot @joonies-word @stormchaser819 @pirate-lord-of-narnia | Reply/Ask/Message to join!

[brainyxbat]

Chapter 21: Nami's Cyclone Advisory! Clima-Takt Burst

(episode 117/118)

As the battle raged, and Vivi, after ordering the guards to blow up the palace, learned about Luffy's supposed demise, Nami glanced around the area for the two agents. After concluding she was alone, she leaned against a building to lose herself in her thoughts. 'I can hear the sounds of battle from here. So she wasn't able to stop the rebel army at the entrance. I wonder if Vivi and the others are okay. They're all... fighting with their very lives. And yet I'm...'

~

A few days ago

"Like I said, I want a more powerful weapon too!" Nami said to Usopp in his workshop, aptly named the "Usopp Factory", as he worked on a new project with an interested Venus watching.

"Powerful weapon?" He looked at her in confusion under his goggles. "What's the point in you becoming strong?"

"It's true that I'm not a combatant," She admitted, "I have a nice figure, and I'm cute." Venus didn't hide her eye roll, as Luffy crawled like a worm.

"Huh? Say what?"

"But I still... wanna be at least strong enough not to cause the others trouble. Especially this time, for Vivi." The moment was interrupted by Luffy waving his hand at her face to get her attention. Chopper's sneeze snapping the chopsticks up his nose, prompting Luffy and Venus to laugh uproariously. Nami simply grabbed the former by his vest collar, plus Venus by her cape, and tossed them both out, alongside Chopper and some buckets. After the door was closed, she turned back to Usopp, who wasn't pleased at how she handled the other girl. "Usopp, you know how I feel, can't you? We're different from them." He continued his craft without a word. "They're as strong as monsters. They can fight against any enemy using only their own power. But you and I are ordinary humans with no power; once the battle starts, we just get flustered shamefully. We'll just be a burden to the others, unable to even protect ourselves." He was still quiet through his work. "When we're like that, if we wanna fight. all we can do is depend on powerful weapons, right?"

Usopp grabbed his blue screwdriver from his toolbox, before she continued. "The reason you frantically work on inventing weapons is that you wanna have pride that you can fight just like the others, right?" Still no response. "Me too! I want to fight with my own two hands too, for Vivi! So help me!" She begged.

He set the screwdriver down. "There isn't much time left, before we arrive in Alabasta."

Nami frowned sadly. "Yeah. Also, there's no way that I can get strong just like that. I'm sorry for being unreasonable."

She opened the door, when his confident voice stopped her, as he raised his goggles. "Who said it's unreasonable, just because we don't have time?" He quirked his brow in her direction. "Are you saying that there's something that Usopp-sama can't do?" He challenged.

Nami turned back to him, now hopeful. "Then..." He gave a teeth-baring smirk. "You're gonna do it?! Oh, I love you! Thank you, Usopp!"

"Well then, let me get straight to the point. About the material cost-"

She cut him off by clasping his raised hand. "Thank you, really!"

"Hey, hey, hey," He frowned at her dodging, "It's not like weapons can be created for free-"

She was already at the doorway. "Well then, I'm counting on you!"

"Hey, listen to me!" The door was shut before he could finish.

She happily walked by Luffy, Chopper, and an annoyed Venus. "You guys are off the hook now."

"Yes, Mother," Venus grumbled sarcastically, as the boys glanced at each other.

Inside, Usopp watched the door. "Nami-san..." He groaned in irritation.

~

Nami was startled out of her thoughts by a loud noise. She ducked down in fear, only for it to be two thin logs falling over. She sighed in relief, hunched over. 'What am I doing,' She leaned on the same building, head still hung low, 'Getting scared by a noise like that?' She was oblivious to someone approaching from inside. 'When I grandly boasted in front of Usopp like that. I'm prepared, aren't I?' She took out her new weapon, and held the three blue metal rods between her fingers. 'To fight for Vivi.' She stood on her feet cautiously. 'That's right; Usopp kept his promise.' "In any case, I'll fight!" She called out. "If it's just that woman, I should be able to-!" She was rudely interrupted, by a spike stabbing her shoulder out of nowhere! She fell to the ground, holding her injury, as the rods scattered. She watched, as more spikes impaled the same wall she stood by moments ago, forming an archway.

As she gathered the rods, the hole crumbled away, revealing the same blue-haired woman from earlier. She strutted outside pridefully, swinging her hips. "It's no use running, girl."

'Ms. Doublefinger!' Nami thought. What was that spear-like weapon she just used? Does she also have Devil Fruit powers?

"Do you get it now?" She held out one of her arms, where long spikes grew out of her coat sleeve. "I'm a spike person with the Spike Spike Fruit powers. I can release spikes from anywhere on my body."

'Spikes that can easily pierce through stone walls,' Nami internally concluded, 'If I get caught even once, she'll pierce through my entire body with those spikes, and that'll be it for me.'

Ms. Doublefinger was surprised when Nami regained her footing. "Oh? Don't tell me you're going to fight me."

"That's right!" She recalled Usopp's lectures revolving around the weapon.

"Sometimes, it calls forth clouds. Other times, it makes rain fall. Yet other times, it produces wind! This miracle takt causes catastrophes when it is re-arranged!"

Nami did just that, ignoring her painful shoulder. "Take this! My new weapon, Clima-Takt!"

Ms. Doublefinger gaped in shock. "What... on Earth."

Nami formed the rods into a triangle. "First, sunny weather! Fine Tempo!" After an explosion, the blue-haired woman saw... doves fly out of the triangles. "Wow, amazing!" Nami laughed joyfully, yet painfully. "Doves flew out!" She finally blew up, and threw the rods to the ground in rage. "That was stupid!"

Ms. Doublefinger looked on, as one of the doves perched on the slumped-down navigator's head. "Are you... okay?"

'The first shot is often like this,' Nami thought, 'We start by getting the enemy's guard down, right? I get it, Usopp.' She stood back up, and formed a cane, pointing the long end to her adversary. "This time, it'll be the end of you! Cloudy Tempo!" This time however, a bouquet of flowers sprouted out. "Wow! What pretty flowers!" She chuckled again, before throwing it back down. "No way I can win like this!" She seethed, before grabbing a dove by the neck harshly. "What the heck is this?! Say something!"

As Nami shook the poor creature, Ms. Doublefinger was starting to feel sorry for her. 'I don't know her situation, but what a poor child.'

-

Nami dodged an onslaught of spikes, one even stabbing a barrel of wine to make it gush out. It was kicked aside, as she leaped away; she managed to avoid more harm, but her jellabiya got snagged on her spiked heel, and a small hole was torn. Ms. Doublefinger turned to the panting, kneeling Nami. "What a stubborn girl." She retracted the spikes. "Don't you think it's pointless to work so hard to dodge my attacks? You have no chance."

"You're wrong!" Nami glared, then pulled out a scrap of paper. "According to the instructions, there're tons more attacks!" She screamed in terror; her weapon was at her enemy's feet! "My Clima-Takt! When on Earth... did you-"

"It wasn't me. You dropped it there."

"Give it back to me!"

"Sure, I will. I'm not a magician, so..." Ms. Doublefinger nudged the rod in Nami's direction. "And I do not have enough power to fight without depending on a thing like that." Her fingers grew into long spikes. "Now be a good girl, and stay right there. Then I'll be able to kill you without causing you much pain." Nami grabbed her weapon in determination. "You still wanna continue your fun magic show?"

The navigator stood with the Clima-Takt now forming a Y. "The weather forecast is thunder! Thunder Tempo!" Out of the middle end shot... a red boxing glove on a spring. Ms. Doublefinger merely smacked it away like it was a bug, unimpressed. "Thunder Tempo..." The furious Nami muttered, "Thunder Tempo... Thunder-"

"Stinger... Finger!" Now out of patience, the blue-haired woman cut her off, and swiped at her with a spiked hand, leaving a cut on her cheek.

"No!" A now frightened Nami ran away in a panic. When she ducked down behind three barrels, Ms. Doublefinger shrugged in disappointment. Nami's hand shook terribly at the spots of blood on her fingers. 'My cheek is bleeding. Ahh, I wonder if I'm gonna die like this.' Her head hung down in despair. 'I'm gonna die, aren't I? I'm gonna die! 'Her fists punched the ground. "If I die, I'm gonna curse him. That long nose...! Long nose! Why didn't he make a real good battle weapo-" She had snatched the instructions back, when something caught her eye. "Hm?"

"Well then, I'll kill you now, okay?"

Nami looked up; Ms. Doublefinger was standing on the bridge high above her head, upside down! "She's standing on the underside of the bridge! Why?!"

She retracted the spikes from the bottoms of her gladiator sandals, letting herself fall, and curled up in midair. "Stinger... Hedgehog!"

Nami leaped away when the woman, now all spikes, plummeted down where she just knelt. "That was close!" She panicked when she began spinning. "H-h-hey, hold on! Stop!" She began to run when the spikeball rolled in her direction at a rapid speed. "I said hold on! Hold on a bit! A minute! Would you give me a minute?! Hey!" 'I'll get caught if I'm in an open space!' After looking around through her sprint, she spotted an open window, and jumped inside, barely dodging the spikes.

"This it it for you. Time to get skewered!"

"No... thanks!" Stripping out of her jellabiya, she used it to safely launch her away, before making her escape.

Ms. Doublefinger retracted the spikes, and peeked out from under the white garment. "Well, well..." She pulled it down. "It seems she isn't a total amateur in battles."

Outside, a panting Nami was hiding behind some crates, looking over the paper again. "What was that? I think I read something ominous in these Clima-Takt instructions earlier. Where was that?"

"That's it! I'm sure that if you use the techniques I wrote up so far at parties, people will love them, and the party will really heat up!"

Nami gaped in rage. That was no help at all! "You gotta be kidding me!"

"Also, I'll write the configurations for battle on the back."

"The back?" She turned it around, and looked it over, before it made sense.

"Well," Ms. Doublefinger looked around the area. "I wonder where you're hiding this time, little kitty?"

Nami laughed pridefully, as she showed herself. "I won't run, or hide anymore. I may not look like it, but during the eight years of my life as a thief," She tore off part of her skirt, and her gold-colored necklace, "I survived life-or-death crises... all by myself!" After letting her short hair down, and tying her vest at the front, she held her Clima-Takt confidently. "I can't stand being treated like an ordinary girl."

"Really," An unimpressed Ms. Doublefinger drolled, "I'm sorry, then. What's got you so confident all of a sudden?"

"Listen up, I'm gonna show you my real ability now!"

"The battle configurations of the takt! First, understand the characteristics of the three takts! Each of the takts can shoot off air bubbles by shaking or blowing. The first one shoots off hot air, a Heat Ball!"

Nami did just that, successfully blowing a hot bubble at her adversary, who still wasn't moved. "What is this? It feels warm."

"The next one shoots off cool air, a Cool Ball!"

Nami blew that out next. "Ah, it feels cool."

"And the last one shoots off electricity, a Thunder Ball!"

"Oh, no, that tingled."

"These techniques aren't complete yet, so if you use them at parties-"

"Then don't write them down!" Nami interrupted her own callback.

"Are you happy now?" Ms. Doublefinger sneered, before growing a spike from each foot, and running towards her. "Sewing Stinger!"

Nami panickily looked over the paper, as she ran away. "Please, something I can use! Not for entertainment, but some techniques!" A spike impaling her lower leg stopped her immediately, and sent her falling.

"I'm sorry. Enough is enough." She raised one foot, which now grew a lot more spikes. "Stinger Step!" Nami blocked her off with the rods, and successfully launched her away. She looked on in awe, as barrels fell, before the pieces reunited, one briefly giving off heat waves. "Oh, I get it! The Heat Ball, and the Cool Ball! When they stop spinning, the air bubbles hit each other, create an air flow, and cause a tremendous wind! This is incredible, Usopp!"

"The Cyclone Tempo is like an ordinary boomerang. If you go outside after a party, and play with it-"

"He doesn't seem to understand it himself," She glared, "But with this, I might be able to..."

Ms. Doublefinger pushed barrels and crates away, now agitated. "She uses a strange weapon!" She regained her footing, and sneaked over to the unwitting navigator. "Pay attention, until one of us wins!" Nami barely looked back, before dodging a pair of spikes. "To show your back to the enemy during the battle; aren't you taking a battle to the death too lightly?" She had her fully pinned to the wall... or so she thought. When a dove flew by, she disappeared; it was a fake!

She turned back to see the real Nami standing behind. "I changed the air density by using the Cool Ball. An abnormal refraction of light due to a considerable temperature difference. In other words..."

"A mirage! Can't be... when it was this close..." Nami smirked, as she let the dove fly away.

"We can't win with this power. At any rate, survive by using your brain! That's how we fight, right?!"

"If I use it efficiently, even a miracle can happen! Looks like a perfect weapon for me!" As Ms. Doublefinger gaped in shock, Nami wielded her weapon. "Now I've figured out the Clima-Takt! Just give up!" Her confidence didn't last long; soon, she was running scared again, as her enemy now had spiked hands. "No!"

"Listen, Nami. How you use the Clima-Takt comes down to your head, after all. Think frantically to survive the battle! That's our real weapon, right?"

'Heat Balls, and Cool Balls...' She thought through her sprint, 'All I have to do is take full advantage of their characteristics, and combine them! That's the power of the Clima-Takt! She knocked barrels down, briefly distracting her, before hiding again to catch her breath, and read the paper again.

"And one last thing: Tornado Tempo! This is the centerpiece of this weapon."

"Tornado Tempo..."

"As long as your enemy is human, they won't be able to stand after being hit. However, this is the very last resort, and you only get one shot. If you miss, consider it over."

"If I miss, it's over..."

"Pay attention." Ms. Doublefinger's hand leered in. Nami jumped up in a panic, but barely missed being impaled into the wall. "It seems that you have an interesting weapon. But it doesn't have practical attacks; isn't it just a toy? Whatever its purpose is, you can call it... a weapon." To Nami's shock, her face itself formed a spike, which narrowly missed her own, as she ducked down. She panted, and began running again. "When it can harm people..."

"If I don't hurry up, I'll be killed. The last powerful technique; Tornado Tempo! I have to do it now!" One of the pieces suddenly flew off, and to her horror, landed in her enemy's hand. "G-give it back to me!"

She casually blew into it, releasing a Thunder Ball. "You can't kill me with a toy like this." She touched it with her finger, unharmed. "A sweater can probably produce better electricity than this."

"We won't know until I try! Give it back to me!" Nami spun her shorter rod, and managed to knock it out of her hand, and successfully retrieve it. 'Think! All I have to do is get her to drop her guard, so that she can't dodge this one-shot attack, the Tornado Tempo! Maybe...!' All three forms of bubbles floated between them. 'Something that I can do by using the three kinds of air bubbles, and the extremely dry weather of this country! I wish there was at least a little more moisture in the air. Moisture; that's right! If I remember correctly, there's a rain technique.' She took it apart, and held out two pieces, while balancing the third on her head, as small fountains sprayed out. "Rain Tempo!"

She looked on, back to not feeling impressed. "Water tricks, huh?"

Nami spun on one foot, to let the water spread. "Sprinkler!"

"You're desperate, aren't you?"

"No!" Nami stomped her foot in anger. "I have a plan!"

"That's enough. I've had enough of your party tricks." Her blue curls formed large spikes growing out of her head. "The party is at its heights. Let's call it quits."

"A sea urchin?!"

Ms. Doublefinger charged in, keeping her head down. "Sea Urchin Stinger!" She looked straight ahead, as Nami blew Heat Bubbles out. "I'll make you Swiss Cheese!"

Nami jumped away, letting her crash into the wall, where she left a large, circular hole. "That's not what I'd call Swiss Cheese! It's even burnt!"

She stepped out of the building, still swinging her hips. "In appreciation of your show earlier, I'll show you something interesting too." Her fingers turned into spikes.

"Now's my chance! Heat Ball!" She pumped out bunches of Heat Balls, letting them float in the air alongside Cool Balls; she was oblivious to Ms. Doublefinger preparing for another move. Hot air goes upwards while absorbing moisture. When it collides with cold air that's descending, it rapidly cools, and the moisture gets frozen. Then...

Behind her, Ms. Doublefinger's arms were now much bulkier than normal. "Spike-Spike Doping!" Her coat was torn into pieces, her biceps having turned into maces, as she ran in to attack. "I said pay attention, didn't I?! Stinger Flail!"

Nami ducked down just in time, so the pillar behind her was hit instead; she yelped in horror, as pieces rained down all around her.

-

"Oh, these wounds are nothing. Everyone's fighting with their very lives." A heavily bandaged Usopp was heading for the stairs, keeping his hand on Chopper's head for support. "Even if my arms get torn off, or my nose gets broken, I will..." He started to waver.

"If you talk too much, you'll cause internal bleeding," Chopper warned.

"I know!"

"Usopp-kun!"

They turned at the familiar voice behind them; it was Venus! And Sanji! "So you're still alive for now."

"V-Venus-chan!" Usopp stammered. "Sanji!"

"Those wounds," Chopper took notice of the two's injuries.

Usopp sat cross-legged, as Venus frantically ran up to him. "Usopp-kun, you're covered in bandages! Are you okay?!"

"I'm alright; I can handle anything. So, how'd the battle with Mr. 2 go?"

"Interestingly," She replied, and handed over what he was missing.

"Ahhh! My goggles!" He happily set them on his head, where they belonged. "So you took them back from him! Thanks, Venus-chan, Sanji! You guys are such- Ahh!" He yelled out when the right eyepiece suddenly fell off. "Hey, wait a sec! They're broken!"

"Ahh!" Venus screamed, and her head dropped to face the ground in shame. "I-I'm so sorry! I thought something was different, b-but I figured I was seeing things from the heat! I'm so sorry!" She cried.

"I-it's okay, it's not your fault!" Usopp quickly assured her with some gentle pats to her head, then turned to Sanji. "You bastard! This is the newest model in the North Blue! Do you know how valuable these goggles are? Venus-chan helped me pick them out!"

"I told you to be careful!" She shouted.

Sanji wasn't paying attention however, as he gazed at the horizon. "Hey, look at that."

"Listen to me..." Usopp griped.

Chopper turned to look; it appeared to be a whole army charging in. "That must be the auxiliary force for the rebel army," Sanji remarked.

"So there'll be more of them?"

"Looks like it. I guess Vivi-chan couldn't stop the rebel army."

"Ah, dammit!" Usopp fussed, before a grunt behind caught his attention. "Hmm? Vaaa?" Lashes! "Hey, where have you been hiding, Lashes?!"

"Let's hurry to the palace," Sanji decided, "We might still be able to help Vivi-chan."

"Okay!" Chopper let Venus ride on his back, as they followed him.

"Hey, Usopp! Let's go already!" Sanji ordered.

"Y-yeah!" Usopp tried to board Lashes, but he was having none of it, and began walking off without him. "Ah, hey, Lashes! Let me get on!" He grabbed the saddle. "Look! Can't you see these wounds? Lashes! Stop! Let me get on!" Venus didn't notice, as she stared sadly at the eyepiece fragments in her cupped hands.

-

"Geez, at least you're a first-class expert at running away," Ms. Doublefinger mocked.

Nami struggled to push herself up, before remembering. 'Oh, yeah! The air bubbles!' She turned, and they had formed a cloud above her enemy's head. "It's formed! It's small, but it's still a cloud!" She gushed.

"What on Earth are you talking about?"

"Not enough! I'll let it grow more!" She stood up, and twirled her weapon pieces. "Cool Ball! Heat Ball!"

Ms. Doublefinger was unmoved by the balls coming out, one by one, in a trail to above her head. "That's enough!" Nami warily backed away, as the cloud grew bigger. "You bitch! Stinger... Flail!" She was blocked off by the Clima-Takt, but Nami fell to the ground. "So, are you prepared to die yet?"

Nami turned back to her with a devious smirk. "How about you?" She raised her weapon up.

"Stop bluffing."

Nami sent a Thunder Ball up next, into the darkened, crackling cloud. "Take that!"

On cue, Ms. Doublefinger was struck by lightning, rendering her stalk still, and slightly charred. Nami thought it was over, but she glared down menacingly at her. "You won't get away with this!" Long spikes grew out of her fist, and she fatally impaled Nami... not. "What?!" Another mirage!

The real Nami was marching back and forth casually behind her. "It'll be a fine day today, with stable humidity and wind, as well as a high-pressure system. However, in one particular area, you need to watch for mirages, and cyclones." She stopped, and grinned deviously. "Please be on the lookout for tornadoes." She held up her weapon.

"Tornado Tempo; this is the centerpiece of the weapon. This is the very last resort, and you only get one shot. If you miss, consider it over."

'If I miss, it's over.' The Clima-Takt was formed into a T-shape. "The weather forecast is tornado!" 'I'll make it work. The last attack. Since I wanted to fight with my own hands, for her!' The image of a crying Vivi ran through her mind, as the balls floated up. "Sometimes, it calls forth clouds; other times, it makes rain fall. Yet other times, it produces winds! The miraculous Clima-Takt! I'll make it work! The last powerful technique! For Vivi!" She stepped forward, but the pain in her leg from the impalement made her stagger.

"Are you okay?" The blue-haired woman smiled evilly. "Your left leg has taken lots of injuries. You actually can't keep standing anymore, can you?" Her hair turned into spikes. "Sea Urchin Stinger!"

Nami attempted to block her off, but her left foot got impaled through her sandal! She screamed in pain, but tried to fight through it. "This is... nothing! It doesn't hurt at all! Do you have any idea what pain she's going through?! Compared to her pain... a leg or two, or three... I don't give a damn!" She finally thrusted it out. "Take this; Tornado Tempo!" A pair of mechanical birds shot out of the opposite ends on springs. Nami gasped in horror; it didn't work?! However, as the rods rotated, the birds began wrapping cords around her arms and legs. "What? What? What? What?!"

"The doves tangled up on me!" Ms. Doublefinger was spinning around rapidly, before being launched away into a wall, as Nami herself fell back.

"Ow," Nami groaned, her hand on her head. She glanced around the area, before noticing the human-shaped hole in the wall before her. She walked closer to investigate, and saw another just like it, up ahead. At the other side of the building, Ms. Doublefinger laid delirious, two pieces of the Clima-Takt close by with the birds. Nami sat on the ground in shock; she couldn't believe it. "I did it... I did it! Usopp... Vivi!"

[shanksbaby]

request from @erensl1ut : Hi,i think i have an idea 🤭how about a reader that makes the first move like flirting or whatever,like how would he react, yeah and btw(this man deserves all the love and attention and i like how u always write about him there isn’t alot of fics about him so tysm)

tw: nsfw, afab!reader

Shunsui Kyoraku

this man is a continuous filrt, as Yamamoto has already mentioned from a young age he was reconcerning women, complimenting left and right. So he's always been used to being the one that filrta and very often also the only since most of the women ran away.

so if you were to filrt with him and above all if it is you who started the filrt he would surely be surprised and disoriented.

you and captain Kyoraku have known each other since you were children, you have always had a crush on him since you both attended the academy, but you never said anything because you saw him chasing girls every time and therefore you thought he wasn't interested in you.

but after years of having a crush on the same man, you decided to take action. Of course, you were afraid that he might refuse and end the friendship but that was still better than spending another few years with the pain of not knowing how he feels about you.

" Hello there, handsome "

you told him as soon as he sat next to you in the living room of your division building. He didn't seem surprised by your words, he probably didn't even notice, he just returns the greeting with his usual sly smile, telling you that he was hiding from Nanao.

after drinking the sake you brought him, a drop remains on his full lips, so take the opportunity: with a finger you touch his lips, removing the sake from his lips. To this gesture respond in a surprised way, seems to have many question marks on his head.

seeing his expression your nervousness increases: what if he doesn't like you? He'd usually die for this gesture if she were one of those girls he runs after doing it. But you decide to carry on anyway.

"I didn't realize your eyes were so deep. I could dive inside" you say approaching his face

he looks at you with a frown but immediately silent and has the usual sheepish smile again. He replies by telling you that if you are so interested in his eyes you can get closer. So with his big hands he takes your chin gently and moves you towards him, approaching him too.

you and him are now an inch apart, you can feel his breath on your neck, and your eyes meet. But hey! He doesn't seem to push you away, so he gives you enough confidence to continue with your plan.

" even if in reality I would like to dive into something else…"

you say as you look at his full lips, he seems to whisper a 'me too' before placing his lips on yours, hence a passionate kiss: as he kisses you, he lightly bites your lip causing you to moan with pleasure. Finally, he slides his tongue into your mouth as he picks you up and carries you onto his lap.

" I see we're eager, aren't we?"

he says as he takes off your clothes. His first impulse is to take the reins of command but you don't let him do it, you want to give him the pleasure. Then you pull away from the kiss and lower yourself to his waist, take off his blue belt and drop his pants.

you don't give him time to say anything, you start licking his penis which was already erect and leaving kisses on its tip. To then take him in your mouth and you feel fully satisfied when he releases a grunt of pleasure.

you keep teasing him with your tongue until he begs you to go faster by squeezing your hair, to which you gladly comply: you move back and forth his length as you massage his testicles.

after coming into your mouth, he makes you stand up and approaches your lips to give you a chaste kiss. He gently lays you down on the carpet in your living room and starts kissing you from neck to vagina while massaging your breasts.

then comes the best moment: he begins to penetrate you, his hands cross with yours, while you beg him to go faster and he tells you that he is happy to obey your request by calling you petal.

"Shun….Let's date. I really like you, so please go out with me "

you tell him in the throes of pleasure as he continues to push hard. He first laughs then kisses you on the mouth again and says "I thought you'd never ask, love"

[puckish-rogue-archive-deux]

Bossu Birthday Extravaganza (Dec. 9th)

Hey yo! It's time we got around to talking about the beeg boy's birthday coming up on December 9th! Now, I wanted to get this out of the way pretty early cause I wanted to give people who were interested in participating enough time to do whatever it is they'd want their Muse to do. Cause I mean, let's be real, all our personal schedules are more or less up in the air at all times. So I figured this would make things simple. Plus I could probably just answer everything the day of as well!

Anyway, let's talk presents. I'm sure a lot of you may think that a guy who has that much cash on him would probably be hard to get things for since he can just buy up whatever the hell he wanted. WRONG. You think a guy like him is gonna miss out on the beautiful and ego-building thrill of receiving gifts? Fuck no. He looooves getting stuff. Loves it when people think about him. Makes him feel all special inside. Just remember that he is both a man who loves to indulge himself, but is also very happy with the simple things in life.

So I won't get into too many specifics because I am a tired old man, but I will lay out some ideas of what he likes so your silly ol' muses can get inspired.

Physical Media: Books, movies, music, games, anything goes! He's got a love for all kinds of genres. But if we're specifically talking movies here, his all-time favorites will forever be Spaghetti Westerns, Action, Horror, Noir, and Crime stuff because he's that obvious sometimes.

Clothing: Self-explanatory. The bozo is pretty fashionable despite what some might say (I'm looking at all you nerds who keep thinking he looks like the fuckin Grimace at all times). Might need to get his measurements though due to his size. He'll definitely appreciate whatever you get him! Even if it's on the goofier side. Also, clothing would include accessories as well.

Weaponry: He is a sick freak ok.

Food: Whether it's something homemade, you're talking him out to eat somewhere, or anything else, he looooves getting food. If you're thinking of going on the sweeter side cause of birthday and all, please do. He's got a killer sweet tooth and will devour an entire cake on his own if he felt like it. Alcohol also falls into this category as well. He likes beer, tequila, bourbon, rum, Shōchū, Seco Herrerano, champagne, soju, gin, and sake.

Homemade Stuff: Despite what he may say, the Boss is a very sentimental bastard deep down inside. Please give him something from the heart. It will kill him. It will be embarrassing. And I will laugh.

Weird Knick-Knacks: Funky little souvenirs or anything similar is right up his alley. Just real oddball shit.

Besides physical items, you can always just take him someplace that he enjoys! Go for a scenic walk in like a park or someplace nice in general. Maybe check out some neat museums. A national landmark or two. He likes to go around different places all over the world and just immerse himself in the environment! It's fun for him!

[okwritingandpain]

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da: The Beatles x Reader

Chapter 16

Y/N sat alone. George was going to meet her. It's terrifying that John and George were alive again, but what else could have happened to her? Who knew that minding someone's own business would end up causing her to go back in time and mess up the entire Beatles timeline while still being in the middle of a broken timeline. 

"Hiya," George appeared behind her and they sat together on the bench.

"Hey." She replied with a smile. It was strange to see him aged. His smile never wavered as they sat in silence. 

"Apparently Paul wants us to talk to you and all." He explained, "Something about time travel and timelines?" Y/N laughed at how ridiculous it all sounded. 

"Sounds about right." She giggled as George pulled out his phone. George Harrison with a modern day phone was something she had never even thought of.  He pulled up a picture that had been recovered from the sixties. It was all of them sitting together in the park . 

"Feels like forever ago, but for you it must feel like only a year or so." George reminisced. "I have to say it was a shock to learn of all this. I mean you are the reason our band...broke up." He frowned as she put her head in her hands. 

"That wasn't supposed to happen." She whispered, remembering the car crash. It was all a blur. The car had appeared out of no where and she had no idea what it would do to the Beatles. "I'm sorry." 

"What is there to be sorry for?" George asked, "We're all alive. Wasn't that your mission in the first place?" 

"Not exactly. I was supposed to keep you guys from breaking up...John and you surviving was supposed to be a bonus." She explained, blowing a strand of hair out of her face. George thought to himself for a minute. 

"I know everything didn't go to plan." He said, "But it doesn't mean you can't fix it." He grabbed her hand. "You should be proud of what you've accomplished." 

"Yes, my amazing accomplishment of causing one of the biggest bands of all time to not exist!" She pulled her hand away, looking at the ground. George wanted to reach out, but decided against it. 

"You should be proud that you gave us the time of our lives! It's strange to think you were never supposed to be there when you became such a huge part of our lives." George argued, "We didn't know a timeline without you. We only have the one you and Paul created and we are grateful for the time you spent with us. We would've given anything back in the day to save you from the car crash.' He smiled as bright as the sun. She gave him a hug. That's what she needed. Someone who could see the good in her. 

"I wish things could've gone better." She muttered to George's surprise. 

"Yet for all the bad moments...there were good moments too. I think even cranky old Paul could see that." He laughed. She chuckled at his remark, but she still had a feeling of pain and regret building in her stomach. What if she had never done this? She wouldn't have made friends with people she adored, but everything would be normal. Well, sometimes normal isn't good. Things need to be changed...just maybe not this drastically. 

"What happened to you after the band broke up?" She asked, leaning back in the bench. George shrugged. 

"Gardening. I wrote music mostly on the side. I had people tell me I should try for a solo career, but I never found the right time." He said, watching some kids chase their dog down the side walk.  

"I don't know why I thought you were going to be the popular one." She joked, making him laugh harder. 

"That would have been...interesting, but maybe it's better that I wasn't. The anxiety would have made the smoking worse. All those fags were starting to get to me in the 70s when I last talked to John. Both me and him wanted to live healthier lives after our friends unfortunate circumstances. Not to mention all four of us had a competition to see who would out live the others." George smirked, "I think funniest of them all is that Ringo is probably the most popular of us all." 

"You're kidding." Her mouth dropped open. George held back more laughter. 

"He narrated Thomas the Tank Engine." He explained to her ever growing shock. 

"I think that's a crime against humanity." She replied as someone came up behind them.

"I didn't think that was going to be the first thing I hear from you." Ringo leaned over the back of the bench. George greeted his old friend as Y/N listened, embarrassed.

"Well, if it isn't Thomas the Train?" George laughed, making Ringo roll his eyes.

"You wish I played Thomas!" Ringo retorted, sitting on the other side of Y/N. She gave Ringo a hug too as everyone got resituated. 

"What have you been up to, Ringo?" Y/N asked as he adjusted his tinted glasses. He looked like he did in the original timeline. 

"Nothing much. I just learned all about this wonderful separate time travel or timeline whatever stuff." He smirked, looking at George who shared a mischievous look.

"Hasn't everybody?" She smiled, noticing the two's strange exchange. "What are you two up to?" She watched them both stand up. Ringo ran off for a moment, dragging a covered package on wheels. George picked a guitar up from behind a tree. Ringo pulled off the cover to reveal a glorious drum set that read: 

Ring and Geo 

She smiled at their display. People around them stopped and waited for the two to begin playing. George nodded at Ringo. 

"Here comes the sun." He sang as Ringo began to play. People stared at them in awe. 

"Do-do-do-do." George smiled as he sang, catching the attention of more people. Kids sat on the round around the drum set, listening to the vibrations. 

"Here comes the sun and I say it's alright." George moved back and forth as he played. "Little darling, it's been a long, cold, lonely winter." Y/N tapped her foot to the rhythm as she felt her heart warm at the return of Beatles music. Now that she thought about it. These people hadn't even heard this song before. George motioned for her to join them and she stood up and walked in-between the two. 

"Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here." She sang with them. People gathered around, singing the chorus whenever it came up again. It reminded her of John at the restaurant and their singing fiasco. They kept singing and singing until they knew it was time to reel it in. John was in the crowd watching them. George noticed and he began to sing: 

"Help! I need somebody. Help! Not just anybody." He looked at the quiet John who couldn't help, but join them. George and Ringo must have planned for him to be there as a random person brought John a guitar. 

"Help! I need someone..." John sang next to his old bandmates. Everyone cheered them on which brought a smile to Y/N's face. "Help!" 

"When I was younger, so much younger than today..." She sang as they all looked at her. No one knew the history of these songs. No one. It wasn't long before they spotted Paul, glaring at them from afar. They had finished Help! and Y/N told the guys to follow her lead. 

"Desmond has a barrow in the marketplace. Molly is a singer in the a band." She began as the rest of the band tried to figure out what she was doing. Paul walked closer, looking across the people and the rest of the band before landing on her.

"Desmond says to Molly 'Girl, I like your face.' And Molly says this as she takes him by the hand..." Paul sang, standing next to her. Once again, George and Ringo were prepared as a bass was brought out for Paul. While a piano would have been nice for the song, it was a hard instrument to transport. 

"Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on brah. La la how their life goes on." They sang together as the instruments tried to pick up what they were putting down. All of these songs were something that she got to witness be created. Now she got to sing them with the entire band in front of a crowd who had no idea just how important they all were. That was the moment she knew that she had to find a way to fix all of this. If she could go back in time...once more...she would. Maybe Paul could send her into Yesterday like he once had before. 

[softpadawan]

I don't necessarily eniteley hate Saberza. Hell, I feel bad that the line about them being siblings is about to get some people hella fucking dog piled. Because the level of vitriol they're about to catch is gonna be unnecessarily bad and for a fictional ship, at that. But, I'm not gonna lie and say I'm upset that some people are gonna stop shipping it. Cause that line was music to my fucking ears.

I hate how the ship appears 98% of the time. It's so fucking boring and such a fucking Het (Derogatory) Ship, even if they're both queer. It also appeals to the group that defangs female characters so they're the correct kind of soft for shipping.

Let, Sabine and Shin Hati be Feral Queers with each other. Want Ezra with a Wren? Tristan is right there. We can be so much more interesting and fun that the flour take of Sabezra.

I feel bad that the line about them being siblings is about to get some people hella fucking dog piled. Because the level of vitriol they're about to catch is gonna be unnecessarily bad and for a fictional ship, at that.

I truly, honestly sympathize with the Sabezra shippers and hope (a fool's hope; SW fans are the Worst™) that the fandom at least has the decency to practice the "block and ignore" and "your ship is not my ship and that's ok" policies because, like you said, it's all just make-believe crap and no reason to be an ass to people online.

But yeah, nonny, I also share your sentiment about the whole "thank fuck we dodged another boring-ass vanilla het ship"—and I don't say that out of hatred for M/F ships, but more so the absolute gut-wrenching failure on the part of professional writers to build a legitimately interesting, believable, complex (not conflicted, but complex in the sense of being fully fleshed-out, built upon something other than just raw sexual attraction) relationship between a male and female character without gutting their entire development arcs and reducing them to soppy banal cliches. (Like what you mentioned about writers "defanging" female characters to make them softer and more likeable. Yeah, that shit reeks. I'm not going to fault fanfic authors for not having unlearned this subtle-yet-deeply-ingrained flavor of misogyny yet—it's going to take a while to root out something so pervasive and insidious—but I am going to hold the professionals fully accountable for delivering egregious, sophomoric drivel and telling us it's Grade-A storytelling.)

Fantastic M/F ships can be done. Look at Pacific Rim. Literally any Hayao Miyazaki film featuring two main characters of the opposite sex.

Or maybe it's time to forget the "confirmed ship" stuff altogether and leave the entire relationship open to interpretation, like what people have been doing with Sabezra for the last nine years. (And what canon queer relationships/characters have been dealing with for decades, relegated to hints and easily-censored dialogue, keeping it "toned down" and "wholesome" to appeal to straight audiences who still hate them at the end of the day. But I digress.)

Bottom line, I think if writers spent more time focused on the story and individual characters instead of trying to set the boy up with the girl, it would do wonders for the quality of storytelling as well as preventing this caustic Pavlovian reaction we (I) are starting to have any time we're offered male/female romance onscreen. That's my opinion, anyway.

[tsubasaclones]

all the tsubasa references in clear card are both one of the only interesting things about it and also arguably its biggest flaw. and the fact that it's one of the only interesting things about it contributes to it being its biggest flaw.

like, i'm obviously not saying to get rid of the tsubasa references. they're fun when they're done right, they're to be expected, they're even integral to the story. after all, the whole magic staff thing connects to tsubasa. which is the point of clear card

this sequel would not exist without tsubasa because really the only purpose it solves is to be like "oh see she has another staff after she gives the other one away". which is a problem. this is a sequel that does basically nothing for the original story, it only exists to aid a single scene in a separate story, and yet it's 30 fucking chapters longer that the original ccs manga for no good reason.

they try to replicate tsubasa sooo hard in clear card and it just does not fucking work 99% of the time. the reason they try so hard to make akiho and kaito carbon copies of sakura and syaoran [which doesn't fucking work by the way, i'm just acknowledging that's what they were ATTEMPTING]? well, other than a lazy way to try and get us to like them without trying... you know what story has two syaorans and sakuras in it? the one they keep fucking paralleling. cause the parallels also extend sometimes to akiho and kaito, especially kaito (I HATE IT HERE.)

why are we suddenly throwing in random timeline changing shit at the end?* oh wouldn't you know it tsubasa has a plot about an altered timeline (which, while it gets revealed near the end of tsubasa, happened before the story started, so it doesn't feel nearly as sudden as clear card's timeline shit)

and the last chapter... she has the original cards back and the new ones are gone but can be found again, the whole real name shit, some characters staying back while others go to keep travelling and they kind of hint at meeting up again... there are so many parallels throughout the story i'm not even bothering to put here because you get the idea already surely.

but just... starting off clear card acting like you might not do the gross age gap shit anymore only to shove that stuff in our faces super hard by the end, introducing characters then ignoring their original traits to try and make them copies of already existing characters, using the original ccs story and tsubasa as crutches to avoid making something original... guys come on we're better than this. and the fact that she doesn't even get to keep the clear cards by the end (minus flight) feels like an extra slap in the face cause it's just like oh okay it was ALL pointless then

not to mention so much stuff just passively happens to sakura instead of her actively doing stuff in clear card. it's fine in the beginning when she doesn't know what's going on, but then when she learns, and then she's still subconsciously making cards, and then the most important thing (and only purpose of this goddamn sequel) happens, when she conveniently gets a second staff, it's not because of anything *she* did. it's because it was a byproduct of kaito's timeline fuckery. and then when she fixes the timeline (because the only thing she gets to actively do is fixing someone else's fuckup i guess!) she still has two staves so it's just. agh

anyway what was i saying? oh right clear card frustrates me to no end and if i wanted to read tsubasa i would go read tsubasa so stop trying to copy your old shit clamp

*yeah i know that's what kaito's plan was building up to, what i mean is the timeline gets changed and it gets resolved in such a short amount of time (i mean chapter wise, i almost forgot there was that random ass long time skip)

[variousqueerthings]

hiiii sorry to bother you with this ramble but i've been watching cobra kai mainly out of curiosity and the ups and downs i have felt when watching this show haha

i don't want to give this show a hard time, but it's so...yeah. of course i should've expected that going into the show, it's the reboot of the one movie from the 80s everyone and their mom knows of course it's not going to have the most philosophical questions but like....it both intrigues and enrages me in sooo many ways. Having just watched the sequels for the first time I was very surprised to find what it had to say about the cycle of violence and the somewhat unconventional masculinity in Daniel and...the showrunners seems to forget about all of that?

They seemed to sort of get it with the first two seasons where Johnny/the kids who walk into Cobra Kai walk out impacted in a way that the narrative doesn't see as rewarding which is really interesting! Only to...forget that? Once heavy metal starts playing, that's the cue that tells you "Oh yeah this is where the cool stuff happens! You should be rooting for them!" and I don't. I just kind of. sigh and let the scene happen

Oh and don't even get me started on how the writers seem incapable of writing the kids without having them in romantic relationships. I know they're in high school but like. It's tiring seeing these kids get together, then break up in two episodes -__- but that's just my thing with media

Ok one more thing cause I'm gonna keep rambling on and on: I really enjoyed Daniel taking Robby on as his student and just watching this kid have some sort of stability and guidance in his life was really nice so it was cruel of the writers to just rip that away (in my opinion)

Sorry for this long ramble, this show has definitely confused me but is somehow interesting enough to keep on watching

Can I just say I am somewhat enamoured that occasionally an anon will wander into my space and give me a little update on their various cobra kai and/or karate kid watches, makes me feel like we're all in this together.

And onto the message itself: everything you're saying is correct. Cobra Kai is a silly show, it's a show with many many flaws, it's a show that not only at times contradicts TKK character-building, but also its own emotional and thematic build, it's been my little "puts on clown suit and nose" show for the last couple of years, and it's one I'd never technically recommend, but for the fact that I am delighted by a great deal of it + the fandom (on tumblr -- venture into some other corners and you're reminded that the actual target audience is middle-aged straight guys who kin Johnny and think there's nothing deeper than "Daniel was the real bully" takes) has been a source of a lot of fun.

It was something that helped me during the pandemic + introduced me to some lovely people (including someone I have travelled to another continent to meet irl!)

What does this have to do with your message? Technically nothing, I just need you to know that I am both incredibly biased about my emotions around this show, because of all the real life stuff around it, and that I was very forgiving of it for quite awhile, up until s5 confirmed that yeah, the narrative that it seemed to be building up to (in its own flawed way) was uh... simply not occurring anymore.

Now I've moved past the stage of "oh okay, it's bad bad," and gone into "here's what I like," mode -- with no small degree of kvetching of course.

The way that I watch this show is on the basis of "take what you want, leave out the rest." Sometimes I'm not a fan of this approach, because it can leave out what actually works in favour of popular fanon headcanons (that can also make people who aren't into them feel excluded from cliquey spaces that dictate The Truth). But if the writing isn't up to snuff, I think it's only right to take a sledgehammer/scalpel/tool of your choice and Frankenstein that thing into proper shape!

The show has good bones -- the bones of The Karate Kid movies, and the actors (old and new) who are really into playing their roles and put a lot of work into it -- and it has good parts in its story too.

As for the rest *rolls up sleeves and gets'a'hammerin' and fixin'*

[haloguyfttp]

Finally caught up to and completed Penacony's main story.

SPOILERS FOR PENACONY

Enemies: Fucking great. I like the new enemies and hope they stay this way instead of whatever the hell they did with Aurumatons, both the main ones and those Spiritcaller (I think that's their name) ones. Speaking of which...

Bosses: Completely split on this one. The "Something Unto Death" has a fantastic build up, an amazing BGM that I'd put in my top 3 for HSR, and is just supremely cool in all it does. I love the mechanics, the style, everything.

And on the flip side: Stellaron Hunter Sam. This was someone I was excited for mainly 'cause he looks cool. His build-up was decent if too obvious from the first corpse. That being said his fight was... underwhelming. My primary team consists of Bailu and Preservation MC (I do not have enough DPS no matter who I use so yes this is extreme tank to compensate), and he was incapable of doing any damage to me. On the other hand, due to his gimmick of "Hit me with 5 skills to do anything", it took goddamn ages to kill him in turn. This made the fight go from interesting to really boring once I realized what I had to do. Besides that, he just felt lacking in animations, music and sound design.

Penacony: I will not say much on the exploration as I am still searching for all the goods, but what I have experienced is good. The perspective-related stuff being a theme is fun and interesting, and the puzzles are okay. Unfortunately puzzles are still way too easy, which is a shame since some of the later puzzles in the Luofu were actually decently tough. Maybe I just haven't found/unlocked the harder ones yet. NPCs are interesting thanks to the emotion stuff but god is the place way too damn big. Not looking forward to combing these maps for things I missed, especially the ones that let you walk on walls.

And finally the elephant in the room, The Story.

I am extremely divided on this. Let's start with the most stand out part of the whole thing that frankly I made this whole post to rant about, Firefly's death. This was a really good moment. And it's something I've said about Genshin and even more so in HSR, Hoyo is really good at making good story moments. Everything leading up to this is great. Finding out she's still in the dreamscape, we're still thinking about what her true motivations are, we're worried for her, and then we reach her just in time for it to be - ironically - too late. This cutscene, the way the "Something Unto Death" killed her and immediately escaped like an assassin, the MC rushing to hold her corpse and not even being given that much, the fact that MC throws away their bat just to get to her body at all, forgetting all semblance of self-defense just to reach her, and the immediate moments afterwards are painful in the best way possible. And unfortunately, that's where my praise ends.

After this scene, her death becomes almost meaningless. I mean they immediately launch into normal story stuff. Search the area, look for information, find Sam and fight him, get dragged before Aventurine, and of course the Robin reveal which feels like it's designed to make you forget about Firefly.

MC was clearly super close to Firefly. And yet as soon as the "Firefly Mourning Section" ends, it's as if she got deleted from memory. All of MC's frustration and sadness disappears into the wind, and no one acknowledges this. I know Black Swan got us to calm down, but she didn't do anything beyond talk to us (and if she did, the writers/animators didn't show any hint of such). Now I can excuse this part. After all, maybe MC's way of grieving is silence. From what I remember, we do not, or at least barely speak from after Firefly's death until we meet Sam.

And speaking of, Sam's arrival should have been a key moment. We found it he was using her as bait, she died because of his "plan", whatever it may be, he's right in front of us, frankly MC should be chomping at the bit to kill him, but instead we get none of that. Even when Black Swan betrays us and brings us to Aventurine, MC at that moment should still have something. But no. At this most crucial of times, MC turns into a bland silent protagonist who calmly goes along with anything that happens.

And as previously mentioned, they end this section on the Robin reveal, which is... bad. This moment at this time completely falls flat to me. We haven't met her beyond 2 extremely short conversations, and we know nothing about her beyond "Important Performer and Sister of Sunday". All of this is setup to make whatever happens in the next patch more hyped up but for me... it's just a sad attempt at building more hype when frankly letting it end after Firefly's death would've been painful enough.

(To elaborate on that point, IMO the best way would've been to end it on Firefly's death. The cutscene plays, the "Something Unto Death" leaves, you get teleported out and that's when they hit you with the "Wait for next update!" message. Then next update when we return, let's be honest everyone's gonna remember exactly what happened last time, and the switch to this silent protagonist stuff feels less jarring if some IRL time has passed since the moment. For future players, they won't have to wait, but they'll also have the rest of the story to play through instead of a bunch of unanswered questions.)

Also, being forced to follow Aventurine for the "big reveal" is really annoying, since the whole build-up before Penacony and even in the intro w/ Acheron had to do with Choices and Freedom. A thing I really liked about HSR was how much actual choice you got in quests. Sure you still had to clear most of them, but they were still infinitely better than Genshin's where your dialogue changes nothing. Hell Kafka's quest, the one where choice and shit are most important, lets you straight up leave early and not help her in the slightest. Being greeted with this forced Aventurine shit is super irritating because of that precedent.

As an aside, the Express Crew disappeared from existence. Aside from the intro, the crew has done absolutely nothing together. Getting Black Swan to rescue us is the only thing they actually did. Besides this, the rest of the story was fine. The early Garbage King section was funny, the whole dream stuff was interesting, etc.

But seriously the execution of the entire ending from Firefly's death onwards was just awful. That's really soured my opinion on Penacony, and I can only hope they redeem themselves in the 2nd half (God I hope it's only split into 2 halves).

Anyways that's my extremely long Penacony rant complete. If you've read this far, then holy shit I'm so sorry. Thanks for reading and have a nice day.