#the way this episode makes you care so deeply about those two in less than an hour is incredible

[elialys]

"You know, I am a fucking disaster. But I'm also relentless. And I'm loyal. I think we can make you a newsreader."

THE NEWSREADER | 1.01 "Three, Two, One..."

[ckret2]

this is a little bit of a bizarre question but the way you manage to “flesh out” characters while keeping them consistent is really remarkable to me!

I’m having a lot of trouble making characters feel less ‘one-dimensional’ (especially female characters…It’s like my mind just draws a blank)

I understand it helps that most of the characters you’re writing have pre established personalities, aesthetics, etc. but I still feel like you manage to make the characters your own in a believable way.

do you have any advice for someone with this issue? if not, just know that I’m really really loving Bill-Goldilocks-Cipher and always look forward to the next chapter!!!

so the first thing you have to do is get deeply deeply obsessed with the story and then you have to go on walks fantasizing feverishly about the characters

But more serious answer:

Advice #1: Just take whatever you already know about the character and dig dig dig dig dig.

Take Wendy. She's the cool girl. Her character concept when she was designed was The Cool Girl. She's such a cool girl that by the end of the series she's symbolically represented by a bag of ice. She also says in one episode that she's NOT laid back, she's stressed all the time, because of her family.

Why is a 24/7 stressed teenager trying to give off an air of being cool and chill? Why did she start? What's she getting out of it? Why does she feel the pressure to maintain that facade? If she's so stressed, what's going on inside her head when she interacts with people? Her friends? Her boss? In one episode, she responds to both a request to hang out at a carnival and a request to start a romantic relationship with "yeah, I guess so." It's so passive. Why's she so passive in her relationships? Especially when she's so outwardly tough and assertive? What's the source of this side of her that just goes along with what other people suggest with seemingly no interest of her own—again, including a ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP? How does this relate to her being the "cool girl"? How does this relate to her deliberate decision to portray herself as "the cool girl"? In one episode she gets a scrape and the FIRST THING she does is forcefully tell Dipper NOT to freak out—why is her priority hastening to reassure the people around her before taking care of herself? She's got three younger brothers—is that how she interacts with them? Is one of them scared of blood? Does she see Dipper like one of her little brothers? Elder sisters often get handed the responsibility to act like mini-moms at young ages—did that happen to Wendy? Her mom is GONE, did that INCREASE the pressure on her? Is that why her family stresses her? What's it like in that house? Being pushed into acting like a mini-mom is a very traditionally feminine role—nurturing—which is at odds with Wendy's kinda soft butch presentation and way of speaking/acting—but is it at odds with Wendy's overall behavior? Following along with what the guys do rather than deciding for herself, passively accepting romantic propositions rather than pursuing someone she actually wants? Is she comfortable in those roles or does she feel pushed into them? Does it grate at her? Does she ever want to act assertive rather than just appear like an assertive person? Why do we never see her "we're WOMEN and we TAKE WHAT WE WANT" side more than once—and is it significant that she only pulls that out when there aren't any guys around? Does being the cool girl—supportive, accepting, nurturing, passive—chafe at her? Why's she do it?

Just keep digging. Overanalyze those tiny character details. Tie them together. Become the "I've connected the two dots" "You didn't connect shit" "I've connected them" meme. You can, will, and must connect the two dots. Treat every character like a mystery to figure out.

But your starting point is always whatever you already know about the character. You're building off of that foundation. You throw NOTHING out the window, buster—EVERY detail is important. You're not just wholesale making shit up—you're extrapolating wildly from whatever you already have. Making shit up always feels unanchored and vague. I said in an ask a few days ago that I headcanon Wendy likes that "stomp clap hey" hipster music genre. I didn't grab that randomly. I grabbed it because when we see her bedroom, she's got a poster with a banjo on it; she's super stoked to go to the Woodstick festival, and when she shows some of the featured indie bands to Dipper she focuses on two of the hipsteriest-sounding ("Scarves Indoors," "Wood Grain on Everything") and the apparent headlining band is the Handlebar Bros (just look at them); and she desperately wants to move to Portland, which in 2012 was the hipster capitol of North America—that's the culture she wants to escape to. No making shit up!! BUILD OFF WHAT YOU HAVE.

And Advice #2: you're telling a story, here. You have a plotline. Shape your characters to serve the story you're telling. What kind of a story are you telling? I'm telling a story about the destructive consequences of being a "special" kid—gifted kids, child celebrities, pageant kids, kids pushed to fill adult roles too young—the perfectionism, the burnout, the fear that anything short of excellence is insufficiency, the need for external validation, seeking love through fame rather than intimacy. When I'm looking at shallow characters and seeing how to fit them into the story, I'm prodding at them to see whether anything we know about them holds the potential to comment on themes like that—and then, if they do, that gives me an direction to dig in that already personally fascinates me, because it helps me weave this character into the story I already want to tell. If a character doesn't inherently carry any of those themes—then what can I do with the contrast between this character and the others?

And then, sometimes, I'm telling a story about two guys getting hunted down by a tooth fairy that desperately wants to steal one's teeth and a dentist that's willing to do anything she says but not motivated to furiously avenge her when she's defeated. Now I've got to make up two characters completely from scratch, BUT I don't have to make them up aimlessly. I already know the exact shapes they need to be fill their assigned positions in the story—I know what they need to do to make the story work—and now I can build them from the edges in, to make them the kinds of people they need to be to perform the actions I want to serve the plot they're in. And from there I can build them just like any character—I take the things they need to be, the things I already know about them (the dentist obeys the fairy but doesn't want to avenge her) and I dig dig dig (why would he not want to avenge her if he's so obedient? Does he obey her out of obligation but not true loyalty? Why? What kind of a person does this make him?)

And the tl;dr of all of that advice is:

so the first thing you have to do is get deeply deeply obsessed with the story and then you have to go on walks fantasizing feverishly about the characters

[littlewestern]

Henryships, please!

This one goes out to @belle-aesthetics who asked for Henry as well!

Henry!! Oh Henry, how troublesome you are to ship sometimes. I feel as though he's in a similar situation to Gordon where there aren't any engines that are an exact perfect fit in a way that I find satisfying.

I prefer ships where the whole is greater than the sum and facets of all characters involved are brought out by the relationship that wouldn't be revealed otherwise. But Henry has so much work to do on himself and his own confidence that it's hard to set him up in a relationship that feels balanced in that way. It's not impossible to make work, but it often feels like shipping him with other engines is an exercise in trying to pair everyone off who doesn't have a partner, which I don't care for... But I do have a few thoughts.

HIRO:

Good ship! Solid canonical foundation, mutual respect and admiration, shared experiences on which to build further growth!

I mentioned in the Gordon post that Hiro likes being supportive and leading by example, and it's easy to imagine him finding a relationship with Henry satisfying for that reason. Henry needs someone who will build him up with reassurances and encourage him to be more self-assured. It's really cute, and I think that they'd both get something out of it.

The thing I think holds this ship back from being really top-tier is that I feel like Hiro might fall into the trap of being too helpful? Because he is so cool and nice, I could see him doing the thing he does in Henry's Hero where he tries to let Henry off the hook and ends up taking on way more work/responsibility because of it. Someone with more investment than me could do something with that, but I just don't see the potential for growth here in either of them. That wouldn't (and shouldn't) be a dealbreaker, but it makes it far less appealing for me personally. Now, a similar ship with a little bit more edge to it, that might be something. Which is why I might suggest...

EMILY:

Oh you know I love me some Green Engine Solidarity. And it doesn't get much more solidary than this!

Rewatching the show this last time around, I was a bit surprised by how many incidental little moments these two have together, it's probably about as many interactions as Henry has with, say, Edward - intrigue!

I like this ship for a few reasons. Emily, like Hiro, enjoys "helping" other engines, but she's usually much less gracious about it, especially in the early seasons (which are the ones where I like her the most). Unlike Hiro though, Emily would not be out here cutting Henry any slack if he started getting skittish about ghosts or rain or whatever else. This is an opportunity for growth on both their parts, as Henry gets encouragement without coddling, and Emily gets practice being a bit more defthanded and gentle with her attempts at building Henry up. This is the kind of relationship I like to see!

A unique thing about Bossy Emily, though, is that she's actually never rude to Henry as far as I can remember. She ticks off quite a few engines in those bad old seasons, but Henry she's always quite sweet to. Henry matches that with a joking kind of camaraderie we don't see much from him, which I love. When Hatt asks another engine to take the mail in Percy's stead, Emily volunteers Edward for the job and Henry immediately picks up the assist by saying how Edward knows how to do everything, swanky eyebrows and all.

After all, the mail is a job for a small engine.

They also have a connection with being safety oriented. Henry cares deeply about protocol, and does not fuck around when someone is out here flouting them for the sake of convenience Gator ahem. In another episode, Emily is assigned the title of Safety Engine, which would have been a great addition to her character arc of feeling like she has no job except for the fact that it's never brought up again afterward. Ray never forgets, though, and if it were up to me I would simply pull that into being a regular and acknowledged aspect of her character. But nobody asked me, of course.

Henry is also among the engines Emily asks to be her best friend in a later episode, which... Y'know, she asks every engine she sees but Henry readily agrees!

Idk, I think they're cute. If I wasn't ride or die for Emily/Caitlin also I think this would be my favorite ship for the both of them. That being said I do have one more dark horse contender that might be. Slightly controversial.

SPENCER:

OKAY WAIT. LISTEN. HEAR ME OUT.

I love this episode, it's so funny to me.

"You need a big, strong, Duke's Engine to protect you? ;)" takes me out every time I watch it, and I have watched it a frankly embarrassing number of times.

Spencer, to me, is the kind of blue-blood type who is aware of his station, aware that his build and breeding make him the envy of every railway, and finds the idea of being brought down into the gutter with these common engines... utterly thrilling. He can't say that's what he wants, but oh god does he want it - and it manifests in him trying to get Henry to hide behind him like a scared teen watching a horror movie with their crush. Hi-larious.

They're not good for each other and I'm not sorry. This is my favorite Henry ship by miles. Go watch The Beast of Sodor if you haven't already, it's so great.

[yourhighness6]

I Just Listened to the First Episode of Braving the Elements and I Know I'm Late to the Party but I Have Very Incoherent, Babbling Thoughts About It

(now that I heard Janet and Dante talking I needed to draw young Zuko and Korra. I think they'd be friends. Like, they'd get into fights [with Sokka, too] about who's muscles are more impressive and dumb jock stuff like that. Their respective girlfriends would be so tired.)

Anyway, I think the UGGs ad was a great way to start this out. Really set the tone. I'm also vibing to the theme music cuz I literally haven't listened to it since I rewatched the finale a couple of weeks ago.

[I had no idea Dante Basco was in a dance group as a child I'm laughing for no reason now. I shouldn't judge though I was a drama kid too lol]

I feel like they're doing the whole "the LIGHTS, the CAMERA, the CINEMATOGRAPHY" thing while they're talking about the opening scene. you know what, i'm fine with it.

Basically them:

"Kataang."

"...And I digress,"

The animal crossing segment is cute Appa finally getting the appreciation he deserves

"thINgS HapPEn SoMEtiMeS" has the same energy as Zuko telling Suki "oh, sorry about that" when she reminded him he burned down her village

"I love GranGran" do you Zuko? DO you??

(jk they get along after the war when he apologizes properly)

Aww they brought up Greta Thomburg. I forgot how old this podcast is, but that was a really great message about how the young are the ones saving us and stuff. As a Zoomer [do people still say that?] I can say confidently most of us have no idea what we're doing but we're opinionated and we're here and we're ready to fight for the environment and social justice and shit

HE SWORE

HE SWORE TWICE

HE SWORE THREE TIMES IN LESS THAN TWO MINUTES

Idk about ya'll but I don't think Nick should be letting Mr. Basco represent them I mean that was like three whole "damn"s that is some inappropriate behavior right there

"they're people of privilege" This hit me so hard for no reason. Like it's really obvious, especially in Book 2, that despite all of the abuse Zuko went through he was still in that whole royalty mindset where he basically expects things to be handed to him for most of his arc.

I mean, yeah, that speaks for itself, and there are other instances too. I think Zuko's arc largely corrects a lot of his entitlement, which is a great thing to see throughout the series, but IROH. For some insane reason, maybe because he's very wise and seems content with the little things in life and is basically trying to oppose books 1 and 2 Zuko in every way possible, I never really thought of him as privileged but now it's so obvious that he is. IDK I think that was an interesting thing to point out. It almost makes me value Iroh more because he obviously had to go through a similar journey to Zuko's unlearning all of the arrogance that came with his position and came out of it on the other side as a kind, wise individual who cares deeply for other people and puts the fate of the world before his own. Still interesting to think about on my next rewatch of B1 though, I'll have to start looking out for those behaviors in Iroh.

ANYWAY

Dante Basco, trying so hard to be impartial: "Kataang!"

Janet Varney, one with Zutara nation, apparently: "Meh"

OMG THEY TALKED ABOUT THE SPYGLASS!! I know that scene with Zuko standing on the boat was supposed to be all suspenseful and scary and everything

But I just laugh

I can imagine Aang being like "Aww Zuzu thanks for noticing"

OMG I love Katara finally getting some recognition!! Like there's this meme about the world being saved by "nagging" or whatever and it kind of annoys me. Like, she's calling Sokka out on all of his sexist behavior and that's "nagging"??

Let's be honest it's because she gets kind of "emotional".

Whatever. She deserves to be emotional. Let's be honest the Avatar world was saved by Katara deciding she was done putting up with her brother being a misogynistic ass. [END RANT]

Okay, honestly, I liked it. It was funny, it was cute, I can see it being good, I'll keep listening to it... But, I felt like we were only getting surface level thoughts? There were a few moments where I was like "GODDAMMIT JUST SAY WHAT YOU THINK" which is kind of annoying on a podcast that's supposed to be reviewing the episodes. Like, really? That heavy pause after Dante mentioned Kataang? Janet hesitating to say what she thought when it came up again? C'mon guys, I know you don't want to start anything but the ship wars are not stopping no matter what any of us do at this point because there will always be people on both sides of the war that are toxic and like to start drama. They're not saying everything they want to about the ships and that's a fact. We know it. They know it. Bryke knows it. Also, Dante having not read the series bible was funny but it's only going to be a good joke for so long. Know your shit if you're doing a podcast on it.

I might just be complaining because I need to complain, it's only the first episode, after all, so I want to be clear that I really did like it. 10/10 would recommend, I just hope they maybe get more into the fandom stuff as we go along instead of just looking at the episode. Dig a little deeper, discuss controversial stuff, have a little fun with it, READ THE SERIES BIBLE.

(btw I might make more Korra and young Zuko fanart. It was fun, and now I have ideas for them meeting in some weird spirit world thing)

[go-to-the-mirror]

@a-mag-a-day

(taking the quotes from the official transcripts with all "John"s changed to "Jon"s because it's more reliable and... stuff. there's also cws at the top of them)

Anyway, this is mostly a stream of consciousness ramble as I listen to the episode, featuring being sad about Jon Sims, talking some more about how the fear entities work, some Lines that I am very eyes emoji towards, and Lorell St John defending.

Also here's a meta that I really like that is sorta related to this episode. Here is is on the wayback machine, and here is the previous meta.

"iT wAs SuPPosED tO bE a GlOriOuS dAY" sorry ive heard this ad so much-

I like Georgie, I just wish that she liked Jon. Like, I understand why she left, but it just makes me really sad, like couldn't she just give him a chance?

ARCHIVIST (weakly) That's a very good question.

HE MAKES A GREAT ENTERANCE! DRAMATIC BASTARD :3

ARCHIVIST Six... Uh, the others? T-Tim, is he...? ... Oh.

:(

ARCHIVIST Honestly, I, I think I'm alright. (Georgie sighs deeply) ARCHIVIST I mean, that's... good, right? I- GEORGIE After a six-month long coma? No, it's not. This isn't how it's supposed to go, Jon. ARCHIVIST I- What? You'd prefer I was brain damaged? D-Dead? BASIRA Jon... ARCHIVIST What? BASIRA Georgie, could you give us a minute? There are some things we should probably discuss? GEORGIE (Irritated) Fine. ARCHIVIST Georgie, I- GEORGIE Jon, if this really is a second chance, please try to take it. But I don't think that it is. ARCHIVIST Georgie, I don't--! GEORGIE Take care of yourself. (The Archivist sighs and attempts to speak.) [Door opens and closes as Georgie leaves.] ARCHIVIST What about you? Disappointed to see me alive? Basira? BASIRA We can deal with it later. ARCHIVIST Yeah, okay.

HE WOKE FROM A COMA LESS THAN FIVE FUCKING MINUTES AGO-

Like, this is my worst fucking nightmare, two people I'm reasonably close with saying or heavily implying that they'd prefer I was dead what the fuck. Just the way he sounded like he was yk, making a joke asking Basira and she doesn't respond, and he asks again and she just says they'll deal with it later and-

WHAT THE FUCK ITS BEEN LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES. I-

[Image ID: A drawing of someone leaning forward in a chair, horrified. /End ID]

ARCHIVIST (The Archivist takes a deep breath) Statement of, uh... uh... Lorell St John, regarding, uh... (small chuckle) zombies. Original statement given 1st February 2015. Recording by Jonathan Sims, the Archivist.

I remember I LOST MY MIND at that part, at him calling himself the Archivist, but I didn't message anything to my friend, and I didn't share it on my story, but I was VERY abnormal about that. Oh boy. Just um. OH BOY

People always used to tell me I was solipsistic. They said that I never really engaged with other people, never acted like they really existed or mattered, at least not in the same way that I did. And I suppose in many ways they were right. It’s hard to explain without sounding stupid. Obviously other people are real, obviously the, the way a building is real or my watch is real. They exist. If people weren’t real, I’m, I’m sure I would find them much less of a chore. So no, I don’t “not believe in other people”. I just find it very difficult to feel for others. I can’t understand them and they’ve always seemed… Well, there’s no tactful way to say it, they’ve always just seemed a little bit pointless. I know what my pain feels like, and I know what my joy feels like, but when I see those same things on the faces of my friends or my enemies, I feel… Well, that’s it, isn’t it? I don’t really feel anything

Like... same. Yk, low empathy. Just... makes you feel more distant. And it's fine, it's not a bad way to be, it's just a way to be. But... yeah I mean. Yeah. I relate to the statement giver. Lorell St John defense club. She did a lot wrong, but she isn't... a terrible person, she just did some stuff wrong. She hurt people, but like, she isn't irredeemable and... I like her. Like okay, if we're going to defend Jon even if he's hurt people knowing full well they'd be terrified, relying on them to be terrified, then I'm pretty sure we can defend Lorell for hurting people who she didn't think were people. I have feelings about her.

I like the idea that they are actually real but that her fear of them not being real manifested in something actually not being real and, in her mind, confirming that she was right, that she's the last real human out there.

There's a lot of stuff here that can point to different fears because Smirke's 14 isn't ,the end all be all, yada yada, gender. Maybe The Spiral, because she thinks she's the only one that can see them which could have led to her doubting her own perception of things, but she doesn't. Could be The Lonely, because she sometimes found herself alone, in a room only with those zombies, similar to MAG 108 - Monologue, which is similarly iffy on its placement in Smirke's framework. Word of God says it's The Stranger, which it could very well be, things that are not human infiltrating society, that's pretty Stranger. I have also seem the interpretation that they're The Extinction. Fear of humanity being gone, and something else in its place. I... I think that it's a mix of The Lonely, The Stranger, and The Extinction, but there are plenty of different interpretations, and the author is dead, so take its placement in The Stranger playlist as canon or not, your choice.

I first saw him in the street. It wasn’t difficult to guess what he was, half the people around him were just as hollow and soulless, but there was something else to him.

This could point to all the other "zombies" being just Lorell thinking they were zombies, and not actually being soulless. Perhaps.

Had he taken Norma’s self, her, her soul? Or had she always been a zombie, cramped into her little open plan desk, patiently listening to client complaints, and I just hadn’t noticed?

I can see why The Spiral could be an interpretation of this. Not trusting her own perceptions, could Norma have always been a zombie? Can Lorell trust any "real" people if she didn't notice that Norma was a zombie?

They’re all like that now. You’re all like that, I suppose. I have no reason to believe anyone will read this who would be any different, no reason to believe you’ll be able to read this, that you won’t simply stare blankly at this page before performing your response, your artificial opinion. There is every chance that I am the only one left, and the whole world has fallen to a soulless horde, devoid of life and feeling.

And here's where The Extinction comes in. Is she alone in like a different world, a domain of The Stranger, Lonely, Extinction, or whatever? Just surrounded by the empty shells of humans just like she feared. He fears manifested by The Fears, and turned into "[her] own private hell" (bonus points for anyone who knows where that's from). And that leads me on to the point of... well, Avatars aren't the only ones who can shape The Fears. Her fear of being alone surrounded by empty soulless husks seems to have manifested into being alone surrounded by empty soulless husks. I think that's really interesting.

Even so, thank you for pretending to care.

This line just makes me sad. She knows -- or believes -- she's completely alone, and the only interactions she can get are from things she knows -- or believes -- aren't human, aren't even alive, not properly. I'm just... really sad about Lorell St John. God, get her a hug, and a real life human friend, and some actual help from a real life human person... But it's too late for that, isn't it. Either they're not real, and she's in the real world, and she believes wholeheartedly that no one around her is real -- which is actually the better of the two situations -- or she's in a different world, surrounded by people who aren't people, and... well, her fear at being the last one left, her fear of the people who aren't people surrounding her, her isolation... well, I'm sure it's a feast for The Fears. I don't think they're likely to let her go any time soon.

It can be hard, though, sometimes, other, other people. Feelings. I-I’m trying to focus, trying to make sure I’m the same me as before, but how can anyone really remember that? How do you know you’re the same person that went to sleep?

Low empathy Jarchivist rights?

This gets me thinking about the whole teleportation thing, and not being the same person, just being killed and reconstructed exactly the same. What makes you you? Is it your memories? The actual, physical stuff that makes up your body? Is it something else? Is it just a feeling? I like thinking about stuff like that. Metaphysics is interesting.

ARCHIVIST I don’t… Music. Everything was wrong. Gertrude was there and then… dancing? I think? Then… pain, and I was somewhere else. Dreaming

You were somewhere else you say. Interesting. I'm sure that turn of phrase won't come up ever again. /s

To transcribe from messages to Jay Mapleejay (follow owl pls ty)

KILLING AND MAIMING "Somewhere else" EE And that's like his spooky dream hellscape Obviously you know, you've listened to the same podcast i have AND THEN LIKE OBVIOUSLY THE SOMEWHERE ELSE IN EPISODE 200 LIKE 👀UHH UH UH UH

So, that's interesting in a completely normal way.

(Oh funnily enough in an earlier message on that topic I said "I'm gonna make a tumblr post about this. At some point." so. yep)

Oh and some other thinking about the first 3 episodes about season 4 things:

what RIGHT did the first three episodes of tma [season 4] have to be: 1. Emotionally damaging 2. HAVE UH THAT??? THAT??? [referring to the somewhere else thing] 3. *dying in parallels* 4. low/no empathy character <3 she's just like me fr 5. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU DID YOU THINK YOU COULD GET AWAY FROM THE BRAIN THINKING HAHAHAHAHAH L

Jay said "relistening to tma is a form of torture /hj" and I have to agree tbh. I'm in emotional pain.

ARCHIVIST (Darkly) What did he do to Martin?

*points* GAY

Well, I guess we should probably let one of the nurses know I’m awake. I’m sure they have all sorts of tests to do, make sure I’m not a zombie or a…

Or a what Jon?

ARCHIVIST (Calling) Oh, or a cup of t- ... Okay.

AND HERE WE END, VERY SAD, JONS HAVING A BAD TIME, SOMETHINGS GOING ON WITH MARTIN, AND NOTHING IS OKAY! Perfect start to season 4 :) depression, the season.

[oswinsdolma]

iejust saw a post by @emrys-merlin aboit the scene where merlin summons the butterflies in s5 but i didn't want to hijack so i'm here

there is something so fucked up about how, in that moment, when he could have done anything, merlin summons not just beauty, but butterflies. butterflies who live as larvae and caterpillars, only to cocoon themselves before they emerge, metamorphosed into something fleeting and beautiful. because that, i think, is what merlin wanted to be. the incubation of destiny had been stretched so far, he was dying for the final act, for the deliverance of that destiny that had remained a constant hypothetical at the end of the line. and it's because this scene is so full of hope, not for destiny, but for humanity.

do you know how long butterflies live? it varies between species but on average, few tend to live longer than a month. when we look at butterflies, we are struck by their intense beauty and grace, but if you think about that, it's all over before it began, all those weeks, in some cases years, of living as half formed versions of themselves thrown away for a brief flash of life before it ends. when merlin summons the butterflies in the cave, you could argue it foreshadows the final episode, that brief moment of acceptance, blooming bright and the culmination of everything that has ever happened between them, but all of this is painfully eclipsed by the shadows of mortality. all of that build up little more than tragic beauty.

but there's more than that, because there's more to the story than that. arthur dies, but merlin lives, perpetuating their story through the ages and watching as his friends turn from memory to legend. then there is gwen, who takes arthur's foundation and keeps camelot alive. and from this perspective, the butterflies seem less tragic than just quietly sad. because a butterfly's strange, wretched existence is one thing merlin will never have. he wants it so badly, to once again have a soul that was human, finite and wonderful, but he cannot. the destiny he wanted most for himself was the one he could never have. and i think this represents the quintessential dilemma of merlin: he constantly treads this dichotomous line of who he is and who he should be, never quite able to make a choice between the two. his humanity is intrinsically linked with his destiny in that he needs it to care about arthur, but it is also what prevents him from seeing the larger picture. he is constantly poised between longing for mortality and duty to stay, and he envies the beauty of the butterflies, freed from destiny and alight from being alive. and in that moment in the cave, maybe the release of those butterflies is the release of a final dream, an elegy to a future that was and a duty ignited once again. it's a choice of who, and what, he intends to be.

it's easy to forget, amongst all that though, that while we can read the butterflies as a literary device, to merlin, they are just hope. something lovely borne from the monstrosities of the world. and of course there is something deeply pongiant about the way he does this, an expression of that humanity within, but i think that to himself, the butterflies are almost a promise. his future may be endless and futile, his destiny doomed and eternal, but there is something so powerful in his refusal to forget the memory of mortal beauty, to look at the patterns of the wings on a butterfly and see in its soul a reflection of your own. because the cave is, essentially, a metamorphosis, but not in the way he hoped it would be, his destiny not a brilliance of life, but an eternal vigil. though there is no degree of denial anymore, what the butterflies represent here is defiance. defiance in the face of horror and death, and a promise of vibrant beauty despite the listlessness of an eternal life. the butterflies are his memories, tinged by their finity but beautiful in what they were, and that will never go away. in the end, merlin doesn't put his feet down on the side of humanity or fate, beauty or death, but marries the two with his hope. a fragile butterfly borne from miracles into a new age.

[sunnyhatchats]

sorting the gang: mac

Previously: Dennis

We started with a non-obvious sorting so now let's move on to one of the easier ones.

PRIMARY: Snake (extremely dysfunctional), Bird model (extremely dysfunctional) (or the other way around?)

OK maybe it isn't THAT easy. Honestly you could go either way on this. I think part of it is that Mac's character gets written really differently depending on the episode/season (and a lot of fans LOVE complaining about this, "omg they ruined Mac's character" etc., despite both sides of his character being there early on)

Mac obviously is pretty attached to his worldview, usually his religion. He builds his entire identity around it and spends a lot of energy trying to work out the contradictions, the biggest example being being gay vs. being Catholic. He is very proud of how he can view the whole world through whatever lens he has glommed onto at any given point.

science is a LIAR sometimes

Idk I had an entire paragraph here about how everything he says in that video is wrong and how malleable these identities actually are for him in practice until I thought maybe that was still what Birds do especially less mature ones so idk. (Full disclosure I don't really "get" Bird primaries so I might not just be good at recognizing them?)

But I think a picture speaks a thousand words, especially when it is a picture that contains a thousand words:

"just like everyone else in the group" lol ok mac

Mac is a Snake whose people don't give a shit about him. His people are his dad, his mom, Dennis, and to a lesser degree Charlie. "The Gang" isn't really a thing for him as a unit, those are the only people he cares about. And he really cares. ("We're like the best friends in the whole goddamn world and goddamn them for making me think otherwise!")

It isn't a good kind of caring. On his end, they are deeply codependent up to the point where he smuggles drugs for his dad because he's his dad, calls the cops on Dennis when he is out of the apartment for an hour, poisons Dennis to try to make him dependent on him... (Can you be Exploded about more than one person?) And obviously on their end all these people either openly hate Mac to an abusive extent or only give a shit insofar as they can use him. And Mac is deeply in denial that this is possible for his people.

like, even just the idea that OBVIOUSLY Luther wants to see this picture of his mom because OBVIOUSLY she's really important to Luther just like Mac is OBVIOUSLY important to him because OBVIOUSLY he would also care as much, that's how relationships OBVIOUSLY work...

And most importantly, the idea that other people in the world have things to offer does not register. It's not on YouTube but there's a legit tragic scene in the last season where Mac meets his uncle Donald. Donald is a family scapegoat for all the same reasons Mac is, and he is lonely and eager to connect. He is the perfect father figure for Mac, who desperately wants a father figure... and Mac doesn't give a shit about him. He sits through all of this with total disinterest. Charlie sits there the entire scene getting increasingly frustrated: "You have everything you've ever dreamed of right here, but we're gonna just blow right past it, aren't we?"

SECONDARY: Lion (Snake model except he is bad at it?)

This is the easy part, I mean like do I even have to explain it? Mac reacts to things. He reacts to things like a bomb does. Or like whatever the most badass and/or powerful action is at the time. ("Mac sees himself as the boss in most situations and the gang constantly complains about his bossiness.")

it like personally offends him that the mafia does things other than be badass at people

There are three common Mac plots. One is that Mac and someone else (usually Charlie) escalate each other into chaos. Two, someone (almost anyone) manipulates him with zero effort. Three, someone (usually Dennis) attempts to do a scheme with him that he derails loudly. Basically Mac is earnest, in a way that only Charlie really matches. I think that's probably part of why they're the two members of the Gang most likely to be interpreted as kinda-maybe-salvageable deep down even when they objectively do just as bad things as everyone else.

This is Sunny so Mac has a baseline ambient level of lying and scheming, i.e. lowkey Snake modeling. Notably he got a double dose of that model from hanging out with the Gang and beforehand from growing up with career criminals as parents. But he's the worst person in the Gang at scheming and it isn't remotely close. Which is not to say that he doesn't try to manipulate people, he just....... fundamentally doesn't get the concept:

"Oh shit... right, don't give away the information." feel like I'm using all my memes on these

Obligatory disclaimer that again this is the most exaggerated and cartoonish and just incredibly dumb version of Lioning so just like if you're a Bird secondary don't be offended about sharing it with a serial predator, don't be offended about sharing Lion with this incredibly dumb individual

[le-amewzing]

A Little Love for Talents

Not me reading in too deeply to a heartfelt episode, no sirree. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ *Note: This is set after s1e12, "Showdown at the Round Up."

Fic: "A Little Love for Talents" [FFN] [AO3]

Pairings/Characters: pre?onesided?Amy Madden/Hartley

Rating: K

Words: ~1,565

Additional info: romance, friendship, 3rd person POV

Summary: Amy and Hartley have made up, but Hartley's curious about Amy's musical pursuits.

      Amy still has mixed feelings after the incident with Gem and the tryouts. Then again, she often has mixed feelings these days, and it didn't used to be that way. Amy used to know her feelings a lot better before her family moved to Valley View. But, now that they're here in Texas, her feelings often are a muddled mess, and—really—they're always tied up in something centered on Hartley.

      Still, it's hard to hold that against Hartley (try though the villain in her wants to) when her best friend sits beside her on the porch and beams at her like that after the girls finish their first ever duet.

      "Why am I not surprised that you can perfectly harmonize with me?" Hartley quips, a chuckle in her voice.

      Amy shrugs it off, distracted for two seconds by Hartley's words before realizing the other girl refers to their musical talents. "Really? That's what's impressive?" She pats the guitar's body twice.

      Hartley offers her a little smirk (hmm, maybe she's rubbed off on her at last). "Okay, yeah, you've got skills." She sighs happily and scoots closer, leaning back on the bench so she can glance out at the stars. "…you know, I think, more than the Round Up gig, I'd like this."

      Amy furrows her brow and does a double-take.

      Hartley gestures between them. "I don't think I need a big crowd. I managed to perform in front of a bunch of people once without my nerves getting to me, thanks to my second audition—and thanks for that." She shrugs. "But I like this, you and me. Hey!" she says, and Hartley shoots up without warning, her face too close, her smile too bright. "How about we make this a regular thing?"

      "Just—us? Singing together?"

      "Yeah!"

      "That's kind of a small thing to ask for, Hartley." Amy wants to point out that requests should always be grand things…but she quiets the greedy, villainous voice in her head tonight.

      But Hartley's smile never wavers. "Then it should be easy to deliver on it, right?"

      Hmm. Perhaps Hartley's more devious than Amy's given her credit for…

      Fulfilling Hartley's request seems like Amy's biggest challenge yet…but, actually, it's not. The girls manage to make it a habit, somehow, but Amy has to put a lot of effort in to make it happen, because Hartley's still got that shy streak and Amy definitely feels more like herself (…and maybe wants to keep Hartley's attention for herself…) when they're able to have a moment to themselves.

      But finding those moments? That's hard. And Amy Madden really doesn't do hard. (Except when it comes to Hartley.)

      There aren't many chances at school, which is just so…eugh, full of people. But, sometimes, on occasion, Hartley finishes up in study hall early and Amy convinces her that sneaking out when your work is completed ahead of schedule is all right every now and then. They take a stroll down empty hallways, humming tunes together softly, because Amy doesn't care about getting in trouble, but she's starting to care a little these days about her goody two-shoes getting in trouble.

      The only other time at school comes during lunch when Hartley doesn't have a Sunshine Club meeting whisking her away elsewhere. Nope, with Amy and Hartley together and the weather still good, they grab a table outside the high school, rounding the corner to one of the tables a little less visited and a little less clean than others. It's gross, to be honest, but it's nothing that a muffled sonic blast can't shake loose (just the top layer of grime, at least!), leaving the rest to be covered by napkins.

      And, then, with silence and time to themselves, Amy drums her fingers on her lunch tray, giving Hartley a beat.

      Hartley's eyes sparkle as she recognizes the rhythm as the new song she shared with Amy the day before. She sings the few opening bars before Amy joins in, harmonizing while turning the song into a round.

      When they finish the first stanza and chorus, Hartley laughs, which makes Amy smile. They pause to eat some of their lunches, drink water to wash it all down and clear their pipes, and there's enough time left to finish the song and cram the rest of what the school calls "food" into their mouths before the break's over.

      All this? It takes effort, Amy thinks when she waves as the girls part, Hartley heading to Spanish and Amy leaving to terrorize her history class. But Hartley's kinda worth the effort…

      (Of all her muddled feelings, this is the only thing that's clear.)

      At home, it's harder. UGH.

      There's no hanging out at Hartley's place, because a) Hartley's room is…still a lot to wade through (literally) and b) Celia seems always to be present. Like, how's that even possible?! (Frankly, the more time they spend around Celia, the less the Maddens understand her.)

      Amy's room isn't an option, either. If it were up to Amy, they would've soundproofed her room the moment they moved into this place. But has that happened? Nooo, of course not. Did her father build his secret layer instead? Of course he did!

      …but the secret layer isn't a place to hang either, even though it is soundproof. Much as with the rest of the house, there's almost always someone around. And, given Colby's new powers, it's hard to know whether the girls are stumbling across someone even in a supposedly empty room.

      So that leaves Amy and Hartley resigned to being back where they started: the porch. Amy heaves her biggest disgruntled sigh yet.

      But Hartley offers her a grateful smile and pats Amy's back before wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Hey, it's no big deal! I love it out here anyway, Amy."

      "You won't be saying that when the temperature drops ten, twenty degrees in another month or two."

      "True… But that's what coats, hats, and scarves are for!" She beams.

      Amy glares at her…but can't hold on to her annoyance for long. In all honesty, maybe she won't need all those layers this winter. Hartley radiates warmth every time she looks at Amy like that. "Instruments don't like the cold very much, Hartley," she reminds the curly-haired girl.

      Hartley's smile falters. "Oh. Right." She pauses and whips out her phone, tapping this and swiping that. A minute later, she turns the screen towards Amy. "Next best thing, then?"

      On the screen is a digital guitar. Hartley swipes a finger over the imaginary strings, and a discordant sound comes out. Amy cracks a smile and snorts. "Telling me to make do, Hart?"

      "I just want to keep going as long as we can, as long as you want to," she replies.

      Amy swallows a strange lump in her throat. In addition to these mixed feelings, she's not used to this notion of someone wanting her around (the Havoc side of her wants to ask if Hartley's ever had her head checked, because wow). Amy fumbles for her actual guitar. "W-Well, it's not freezing yet. Shall we?"

      Hartley listens to a few chords first. She meets Amy's eyes before landing on the first song she wants to sing tonight. Then she sings.

      It's…been a little while, or maybe that gaze and their chat caught Amy off-guard, but Amy's mesmerized by her best friend's voice yet again. She forgets to come in on cue and decides, eh, might as well let Hartley have this one. When the song ends, Amy chuckles. "You know, your talent is kind of like a superpower, Hartley."

      "Hmm," Hartley hums, tapping her finger on her chin while she mulls over the idea. Then she blinks and tucks her hands into her lap, and her eyes dart to Amy. Her words come out cautiously: "Amy, uhm…if your power is sonic-based, then…does your singing come from…?"

      Stunningly, Amy doesn't fly into a rage. Actually, she's not offended at all by the question, which really surprises her; she knows she would've smacked anyone else for implying Amy wouldn't have a voice if not for her powers. But…Hartley…Hartley is different. Amy plucks the strings absentmindedly and explains, "You don't immediately come into your powers."

      Hartley cocks her head to one side, curious.

      "I wasn't born using these powers, if that's what you mean. I was just a little kid who really liked singing. But that didn't foreshadow what powers I would get either." She snickers. "For instance, Jake? He was a total weakling before his powers came in, so."

      Hartley pulls a face at that—one sunken eyebrow and that little pout, a nonverbal reprimand which is cute but otherwise lost on Amy—and shakes her head. "Gotcha…"

      "Hey, Hartley, look"—she grabs Hartley's nearer arm, snatching back her friend's attention—"even if my powers were responsible for my singing…I'm still glad for this talent."

      Any traces of confusion disappear from Hartley's features. That pout melts into a smile, and she's back to beaming adorably at Amy, whose brain finally catches up with what her mouth just blurted.

      Mixed, muddled feelings or no, Amy is loath to finish the implied rest of her thought. Because it's still hard to admit that, while singing almost cost her Hartley once, it's brought them closer now—

      —and that means everything to Amy, powers or talent or whatever it may be.

Aww, yay! I thought this was gonna be a drabble—but it turned into a short oneshot! XD After e12, I couldn't let go of this hc that they rly ought to sing together still from time to time, and thus this fic was born. -w- Their chemistry's just so cute?? So I'mma ignore Declan for now! *lol* (Altho ngl—after e13, Kai Moya appeared in the newest ep of NCIS: Hawai'i, and I legit went, "OCULON?!" at the screen. XD) Also, I had no specific songs in mind this time (as opposed to in "attuned"), primarily bc most of what I listen to/own is foreign, *lol*.

Thanks for reading, and feel free to leave an anon/unsigned review via the FFN link or comment via the AO3 link at the top of the post, especially if you enjoyed this!

~mew

[okayto]

Mini-Review: The Ancient Magus’ Bride

Ostracized and orphaned, Japanese high schooler Chise Hatori decides to sell herself at an auction in order for somebody else to take her in and have a new place to call home. In London, she is sold for five million pounds to Elias Ainsworth, a seven-foot-tall humanoid with an animal skull for a head. The magus, who seems closer to a demon than human, will either bring her the light she desperately seeks or drown her in ever-deeper shadows in her new country, Great Britain. The magus then makes a bold statement: Chise will become his apprentice--and his bride!

I’ve heard good things about this series, both the anime and the still-ongoing manga, but I was surprised by how serious this got, in a good way!

From the start, it captures your attention: here’s a girl who has clearly gone through some shit, because she is actively selling herself into slavery and does not care if she lives or dies, which mostly means she’s passive and pleasantly surprised when she’s bought by a strange creature who treats her kindly, and seems determined to be her teacher.

It’d be easy to think of Chise as one of those cares-for-everyone types, who is so kind and understanding that everything eventually works out through the power of people feeling seen and understood. But as the show goes on, you realize that yes, Chise is good at that...but she’s also deeply, deeply hurt, in the sense that she spends a large portion of the series OK with just about everything happening in large part because she doesn’t care if she lives or dies. She’s an orphan, watched her mom die right in front of her eyes and possibly blame Chise for it, and that fucks a person up.

There’s no magical cure for soul-crushing existential depression and trauma. Even as Chise starts to settle into a life where she feels wanted and has autonomy and a social circle, she’s also subjected to different forms of trauma--she does care about people she meets, and some of them have had rough lives or bad hands. She encounters death and tragedy, bad things happening in ways that can’t be fixed, and bad things happening because someone with power thought it would be amusing.

Now, there’s a big red flag, right there in the title: “bride.” By the end of the first episode, Elias declares his eventual intention to marry Chise--the person he just bought.

Angelica, this whole thing is shady.

Thankfully, the story doesn’t focus on that for a while--Elias drops the subject, and the beginning of the show is focused primarily on Chise learning how to use magic and how to interact with the magical world. And Elias seems to be a kind person--so when the show does eventually get around to exploring their relationship (in the literal sense, not just potential romance), it feels organic and it’s been building up an understanding of both these characters’ circumstances.

Because Chise and Elias’ relationship is complex and varies. At the beginning, Elias seems fairly straightforward, and Chise seems willing to go along with pretty much anything. As the show progresses, it becomes clearer that Elias also has secrets, while Chise starts to (re-)engage with her emotions and having opinions. 

At different times, you could classify their relationship as teacher/student, owner/pet, siblings, parents in both directions. But lovers? 

I find it most compelling not as a romance--despite the name, I don’t think it’s trying to be primarily a romance--but as an exploration of two people with different problems and traumas who are able to explore those things because of the other’s presence.

It becomes clear as the story goes on that Chise is not the only one with problems to work through--and in fact, Chise often has a better understanding than Elias of why someone might act in a way, because she understands what emotions are and how they can influence a person. Elias’ understanding is detached: he understands emotions more as an academic concept than something he can feel, must less identify what someone else might be feeling.

This could be because of his inhumanity--and certainly, the series makes the point that non-human creatures might feel things and act on those feelings in a different way than humans do. But I think it’s also indicative of how detached Elias is from community. Without spoiling his backstory, it’s clear early on that while he has acquaintances he's friendly with, he has never made friends with them, and he has little in the way of personal experience with close relationships. By bringing a human into his home and declaring that he will teach and eventually marry her, for the first time he has to learn how to deal with another person as a whole person, not as their job or a polite society conversationalist.

Chise possesses a lot of empathy, and we know that she had a happy childhood with loving parents. But that makes the turn her life took--father and brother dead, mother committed suicide right in front of her--not just more tragic, but we understand why she is the way she is. This is a person who understands, has experienced love and care and the safety that people deserve. And she also had it destroyed in front of her eyes.

Over at Anime News Network, one review said, “Chise doesn’t want to be free, she wants to be wanted.” That explains a lot about how she acts--she uses the idea of being useful to Elias an a reason for staying with him multiple times. In another character or series, this could come off as trite. Here, I see it as Chise, perhaps unconsciously, searching for even a fraction of the belonging she felt when her family was alive and intact.

Don’t get me wrong, this is a show with a lot of meeting magical people and magical creatures and fighting against things that go bump in the night and it’s a great fantasy adventure, but you never forget that time is passing for the two main characters and that they’re developing opinions about the state of the magical world and each other, nor that each is a complex and flawed individual.

Verdict

English dub? Yes, and it’s good! I was amazed when I looked up the voice actors and found that Chise’s actress also voiced the always-perky Emilico in Shadows House, because the two characters are so different. Chise is always a little subdued. Great job.

Visuals: A good balance between light and dark. There are frequent scenes at night, but the few times it was hard to see felt intentional.

Worth watching? Yes! And I was just about to write that I really hope we’re get a second season (the first season was 24 episodes, so a good amount and it ends in a good place, but clearly the story isn’t over), but it turns out that literally the day I type that a second season has been announced, to premier in 2023!

Where to watch (USA, as of September 2022): Crunchyroll, BR/DVD

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

[rewordthis]

Episode 19

Welcome to another episode of The Wrongest, yet again!

Right, so Nobara’s story was squeezed in just a few minutes before Mahito’s CT kicked in, huh? What am I supposed to say now? I guess we’re lucky Nanami Nation; at least our guy had more screen time than many, judging by how quickly Gege proceeds to finish off characters… 😬

As for those of you that still wait for her after a whole year (yeah some of your posts still find their way to my dash… use that shitty spoilers tag for crying out loud! 🙄) just forget about it already! You can’t save someone that had their brains blown away. Her eyeball was literally flying off and rolling on the fucking floor! That was gruesome no matter how you look at it. It made my skin crawl… Brrr I honestly don’t even want to think what poor Yuuji had to witness… and right after Nanamin no less…. 🥺

But wow! Nobara really was wild as a kid, that was funny to watch. It felt a little less lonesome that she had a friend during her childhood, other than Saori who was older and driven out. It was surprising that Fumi was also someone that had moved in to the village as well, but I suppose Nobara wouldn’t be making friends easily with the locals anyway. You know them and they know you too well to really get along in such small and secluded places. That example with the old lady, Fumi spoke about? Yeah… that was fucking on point.

The fact that her story was told through her friend’s point of view had me question the reasons as to why Gege did that. Perhaps because unlike Nanami, she had someone she shared her life with? I hope so. There were at least two people Nobara cared enough for, that were thinking of her. That in my book is really important. It means they all shared some kind of love— a friendship.

It made the fact that her grandmother was against her wishes to leave the village all the more painful, as if she was afraid of what might happen to her. Could she know? I mean she should know, about how dangerous fighting curses are. But does she know about the school? How the school works, I mean. Could it be she was a student at Jujutsu Tech herself? That would explain why they had such an awful fight over it, that caused Nobara to delay her transfer… 🧐

And then… the depiction of the seats Nobara had talked about in season 1. It was so heartwarming that Gojo and the kids were sitting on sofas. Sofas are heavy. You can’t easily move them. It just goes to show how deeply rooted are the feelings she has for them. It’s so fundamental, I can’t stress this enough. Even Fumi was sitting on an armchair before she was thought of as her younger self when Nobara first met her. She had grown to be just that important to her… 🥺

What I hate the most though, is the fact that everyone are far more knowledgable on jujutsu than Yuuji. He didn’t even realised that Mahito had a double. He’s so painfully clueless, just like we are! My boy saw that Nobara’s technique was activated on Mahito but he didn’t realised how it worked on him! The thought that there should be a portion of his soul at someplace else where Nobara was fighting with it, didn’t even crossed his mind!!! My boy is in for such huge pain if nobody decides to explain to him some fucking basic things!!! PLEASE!!! 🤬

But Nobara was onto Mahito quite quickly, and I hate that?! She would’ve been such a powerful sorcerer were she to survive. Grrr 😡

Both Gege and MAPPA were mean to Nobara-chan…

That curse has to be exorcised A!S!A!P!

Com’on Yuuji, I’m with you! We all are! I’m useless in jujutsu but I’m rooting for you!!! Don’t back down! Don’t let this pain bring you down! It’s time for you to stop feeling my boy!!! We’ll all wait for you to come out on the other side of your odyssey through hell!!! So buckle up, it’ll hurt!!! 🥺😭

[turtleboyz]

Character Analysis: 2012 Season 5: Yoshi Hamato/Splinter

I’m going to be honest; I hate this man. yeah, he’s a good teacher, but man, he’s a bad father. It seems like the writers care more about Splinter being a mystery all knowing teacher, then a dad. The only times he were active was when the situation was dire, or he keeps fighting with Shredder.

Splinter grew up in Japan. He’s the eldest son and heir to the Hamato clan. His brother, Saki. Was the sole survivor of the Foot Clan, that the Hamato’s whipped out. He and Saki faught in a war together, and growing up, the two trained together but being reviles. Lasted both men fell in love with Tang Shen, and they fought over her. One day Saki and Yoshi fought and their dojo caught on fire and Shen die in the process of protecting Yoshi.

Yoshi thought both his wife and daughter die, he left Japan and the clan and went to America. There, he bought 5 baby turtles, after a run in with the Kraang in a alleyway he was transform into a rat and the turtles became humanoid. Yoshi became Splinter, he raised the boys, trying to survive and hiding from the Kraang. He started teaching the boys how to be ninja when they were toddlers, after he saw Leo mimicking his moves and Raph trying to help fight the Kraang.

Splinter’s relationship with his sons isn’t good. He’s bias and plays favoritism with Leo. While he does train and love his sons, he seems to be emotionally neglected toward Donnie and Mikey, barely interacting with them, unless training. He try to teach Donnie to not relay so heavy on his tech, and try to teach Donnie not to force April to be with him. With Mikey, he think he has the most potential and that he can easily fight without thinking. But besides those moments, the three don’t inactive.

With Raph, they have some moments, more then Mikey or Donnie, but less than Leo. Both he and Raph have bad anger issues. Splinter try’s to teach Raph how to control it, but goes at it a wrong way. He has the brothers hit Roaj with arrows with insulting him, and Raph has to control his anger. That’s not a way to help with anger, it’s just suppressing it. It’s a shame too, because of how similar the two are with anger, it could have been a great why to show the two interacting more. Like having Splinter do different training with Raph to see what types of anger management works best. Splinter also try to help Raph in season 4 when Raph’s phobia and anxiety gets the best of him. He teaches Raph a phrase and how to breath.

With Leo, they have the most interactions. Splinter teaches Leo how to be the leader. He tells Leo “I knew even when you were a small boy that you would grow up and be the leader of this team. And when I pass on to be like a father as well.”

It’s….Not good, to tell you son, a 15-17 old child to act like a father to his brothers. He also has Leo in season 2, to teach his brothers on ninjitsu. He try to make Leo more tactical and smarter, but it end up give Leo anxiety and fear about being a failure.

With Karia, before he found out that she was alive, he grief for her. He became overprotective of his sons, both because he was afraid they’ll get hurt or become of the Kraang. When he found out his daughter way alive, he was conflicted. He found out that Karai was a foot assistant and was raised as Saki’s daughter. But he also deeply cares about her. When she become a mutant he was upset. In season 3, episode 23, when she’s under the mind control, Splinter doesn’t fight back against Karai. He even uses the Healing Hands to save her from the worm. The two also hug in season 2 when Karai first learns about her family.

With April, Splinter trains he to be a ninja. Both as a way to protect her from the Kraang and become he noticed that she has high intuition and/or empathy. He sees her as a second daughter.

While Splinter is wise, traditional, polite teacher. His ways of teaching his sons are not good. All the training we see, are the boys fighting each other or trying to fight Splinter. Because of his traditions, the boys fighting style are one one skill. In one episode, he has the boys switched weapons then immediately have them fights each other. But! They don’t know how to use different weapons, he doesn’t teach them, yet he expects them to fight well?

He also “play fights” with the boys. Aka sneaking up in then a throwing them, or throwing them into the walls. With Donnie, he repeating tripping him to try to teach Donnie on why it’s bad that he’s forcing his feelings into April. Why not couldn’t he just sit Donnie down and talk to him? Why did he have to make this into some sort of lesson? He also is stern, when Raph was angry about a human record them, Splinter silence Raph and got anger at him. He also talk about ablit Mikey, thinking that he’s unfocused and not very smart.

Splinter’s trauma of losing his wife greatly effective him, and in turn effects his sons. Leo is train to be the leader and to act like a second parent. Raph has anger issues and is seen in his eyes, as second best. Donnie feels useless without his tech or smarts, and Mikey feels like a screwup. Normal I would think that Splinter would grow and change as the season went on, realizing how his revenge and action effects his family. But no! He’s like this until he died for real. He keeps only telling Leo important stuff, he keeps telling Raph not not get angry, he keep doing the same thing over and over. At least with his Rise counterpart, that Splinter had a noticeable character growth and is changing for them better.

Splinter is a ok teacher, he even gives good advice, but because of his trauma and the constant fighting with shredder, he is a horrible father.

[plague-of-insomnia]

Hi there. I have been following your account for awhile. Besides Black Butler, do you follow other fandoms too?

Hi BDK :). Thank you for the ask.

Kuro is the only fandom I’ve become deeply involved in. The others I tend to just kinda skirt and reblog art or things like that, mostly bc Kuro is the only property I’m super super into.

I don’t always ship people as I tend to not really care much about those. I have to really fall for two or more characters usually for that to happen, and that’s another thing that makes kuro special. I tend to consume a LOT of media to try to stay ahead of my moods (mostly manga and anime nowadays, bc that’s easier for me to read/watch), and most even if I love the story don’t hook me like Kuro. I am generally not one who re-reads or re-watches things more than once. I’m more of consume, move on, and mostly forget lol.

My other problem is I tend to have very niche taste even among “niche” media, and often even when I find something I love and wanna watch more Or experience more of, the fandom is essentially nonexistent, or the content I want doesn’t exist. So there really isn’t a fandom for me to be involved in even I wanted to (cries in Emma, VME, etc)…

But here are some fandoms I do follow on tumblr, more or less, aside from Kuro, ofc, and any ships I may like if applicable:

Ace Attorney (Wrightworth) - I fell so damn hard for Edgeworth when I played the games for the first time. I never expected such an old game to be so gay in the best possible way, and I related so much to him. I don’t really care as much for some of the other characters, but I do enjoy the overall franchise (including The Great Detective series). I doubt I would ever get too involved though

Attack on Titan (eruri), though honestly I really only like Erwin, and mostly as a Bard substitute if I’m being entirely honest… there’s a lot of content for him and that ship and not for Bard and sebard so when I’m really craving what I can’t have I look here. I do not like the series as a whole and I hate the main characters lol so I stopped reading and watching after Erwin’s death and have zero interest in being involved in the fandom. I may one day write something for it bc I had a good story idea, but that would be the most I’d be involved

Buddy Daddies (kuzarei) - biggest thing I’m into rn, like I MAY actually write a oneshot for this. I love Rei bc he reminds me a lot of WDH Luci, and he and K have a kind of sebard dynamic. But even as it’s own I really enjoy the depth of characters that they’ve managed to create with only a few episodes… much better than other series I’ll be polite and not mention lol

Kamisama Hajimemashita (Tomoe) - I am a big sucker for stories about yokai and I love this series partly bc Tomoe reminds me A LOT of Sebastian if he were a kitsune. The story itself is also very good (except I hate the ending and pretend it didn’t happen that way, lol). I don’t dislike the female MC, she’s actually not awful like a lot of shoujo heroines are, but I don’t relate to female characters most of the time and so I don’t really care too much about their ship outside of canon. But I do like seeing fan art especially of him.

Link Click (lucheng) - This was a surprisingly queer-coded and emotional anime (well, donghua) that I was not expecting anything from going in and that I’m very excited to see the next season of. I haven’t sought out any fics for this but have reblogged fan and official art.

xxxHolic (douwata) - the manga for this series infuriated me in a lot of ways, but at the same time I adored the relationship between Doumeki and Watanaki. I don’t think I would write for this fandom but I would read for it, potentially.

That’s about it, aside from some anime/manga I adore that I rewatch/re-read, but don’t really have plans to get involved in fandom for (or there is no fandom for them, at least not an English speaking one), or a few video games I really like but again, it’s more about enjoying some art every now and then rather than anything else.

I’m sorry I’m not more interesting, lol. I rarely enjoy big properties/popular manga/anime, and even if I do it’s like “ah that was nice” and move on. Like I can really appreciate the storytelling behind Fullmetal Alchemist, I have read a couple fan fics for it, and I would rewatch Brotherhood, but I don’t really ship anyone enough/care enough to be in the fandom. Same with SPN. I have watched the first ~10+ seasons or so several times (no I haven’t watched the last few 2-3 and maybe never will), and I really adore Sam and Dean’s relationship, but I never shipped anyone (except maybe Bobby/Rufus, lol), and so I probably will never get into that fandom either. 🤷🏻

Just how I’m wired, I guess.

[kylermalloy]

I need you to talk to me about The Originals 1x04 (Don't hold back. Please and thank you😉)

Hmm. Hmm. Okay. Good episode. So far we’ve had Klaus and Hayley both decide that they want the baby. Rebekah has arrived and agreed to help find Elijah—as well as protect Hayley and the baby. Marcel, while having fallen prey to Klaus’s manipulations, has asked his willing witch prisoner Davina to find a way to kill the Originals, since she has one daggered in her attic.

The board is set. The pieces strategically aligned.

And Klaus decides to bring in a new player. Not truly new—Cami has already gotten involved with Marcel, and she’s even been compelled by Klaus. (such an honor!) She has some idea of how dangerous these people are—probably aware that they’re the mob. But now Klaus is ready to not only show her the board, but label all the pieces: vampire, witch, werewolf, hybrid.

Cami: okay, so he’s crazy.

(Nah, that would be my reaction.) Her immediate go-to upon being compelled is to ask about the science behind it. Meanwhile Klaus is like, idk! I’ve been doing this for a thousand years it just works, okay.

I also love how he stares dramatically at the painting they met over while he monologues—he literally went out and bought that from the artist after Cami randomly read him for filth in the square. The conversation affected him that deeply that he needed that painting, just so he could look at it from time to time in melancholy reflection.

She also reads him for filth in this first scene, giving him a basic diagnosis and recommendation for more therapy—while he is speaking melodramatically about plots against him, women trapped in situations, in need of saving, and how he’s really not evil, he’s just taking appropriate measures against tyranny!

I adore how Cami keeps her composure all the way through this megalomaniacal speech—only protesting when he brings up her boyfriend Marcel. Personal/professional boundaries, Klaus!

All in all, this opening scene gives us a great insight into how the klamille relationship plays out: Klaus makes some grand, sweeping statement or gesture about the state of things, Cami remarks on his…uh…less than stellar mental state, Klaus responds by doing something to *impress* or intimidate her, but she simply questions the mechanisms of it. Mind control is not a scientific term!

Meanwhile, back at the church attic: I put way too much time and effort into this please clap

Nah, Davina wants to keep Elijah, even though Marcel promised to return him to Klaus. (What? He’s handsome, I get it)

But then she immediately changes the subject and asks Marcel to go to a concert. She gets a little petty, throwing a witchy temper tantrum in the form of boiling Marcel’s blood to get him to agree (or she could be convincing him that she can defend herself if necessary, but I really get the vibe she’s just being a teenager. “It’s not a phase, Dad!” “Sometimes I think you forget what I’m capable of.”)

Davina’s dresses are…adorable in early season 1. They really wanted this innocent, virgin-Mary-esque image for her, and they got it. She truly does seem like a child, even though she’s meant to be 16—the same age as Elena and her friends when tvd started (although the actress was much closer to 16 than the tvd actresses, so it makes sense).

Marcel’s reaction is very interesting. He looks nervous and uncomfortable for a moment before grinning and giving in. (he says it’s a compromise, but he really does just give in. She’s such a daddy’s girl. 😁) Sometimes I miss the odd little moments of distrust and posturing between them. Yes, they care for each other, but they’re still sizing each other up. Looking for weaknesses. Assessing the worth of their alliance. This comes in handy later in the episode!

…and seeing how long this post is getting from just two scenes, I’m putting the rest under a cut. Spoilers!

When Klaus approaches Cami at Rousseau’s, she spouts off some exposition about compulsion—for the uninitiated, those who haven’t seen tvd and still need some reminders on how the world works. But we get this little gem about what Cami thinks of Klaus (paraphrased): “you leave, and I go back to thinking you’re just a hot guy with a cute accent and money to burn on his sprawling memoirs.” Okay Cami, I see you girl 😉 don’t worry, we’ve all been there.

This line also sticks out, when he is preparing to compel her to meet Marcel and Davina. “You’re going to force me to do this, aren’t you? Why even bother with politeness?”

Yeah yeah, his answer is some trite “I like you” but that’s him, isn’t it? He comes in with his smug smile and demure posture and the accent he thinks is suave and smooth and persuasive, thinking he can verbally strong-arm everyone into doing what he wants. But when that fails, he just falls back on mind control. Still a strong-arm, less pleasant. Sorry, Klaus, you can’t win on charisma alone!

Oh, Hayley’s subplot! I forget how there was always a witch just…hanging around the plantation house in the early episodes. She’s also reading What to Expect When You’re Expecting, a nice touch. She’s probably not paying much attention.

And Rebekah is looking on Google Maps for a church attic! Our little Nancy Drew Mikaelson. Klaus is skeptical of it, but she actually does find the church this way. The internet isn’t all bad!

She makes a side trip to the vampire’s nest, where we see her slightly hate-flirting with Diego—one of my favorite minor characters from season 1. O fun background characters, where have thou gone? Also, Claire is gorgeous 🥰

Aww, and we get a glimpse into who Davina used to be, before all this harvest nonsense happened to her! She was apparently a normal girl who went to school, had crushes. Practiced magic on the side. But her only true friends seem to be other witches—Monique and Cassie and…that’s it, I guess? Yeah, they don’t go too much into Davina’s inner life.

But I get the sense that the French Quarter coven is a little like religious fundamentalists here in the US. Strict upbringing, rules on who the kids can talk to/be influenced by. Sophie references this too later, that her traveling and becoming a chef at a bar was a big *rebellion* by their standards. They don’t go too much into it, but it just seems a little cult-y to me. Not to mention the whole…child sacrifice…thing we learn about later. (Hey I never said this show was perfect—it says a lot of things, but it doesn’t always know what it’s saying!)

Anyway, back to the little fiddler Tim. He’s adorable, and I really wish we’d gotten to know him even a little better. True, he was just a plot device—but he was a glimpse into Davina’s world, and we don’t get too much of that.

Marcel is oblivious to how weirdly accepting Cami is of all these red flags he’s leaving scattered about. “We all have our hot-headed moments,” she says, smiling sycophantically and shrugging nonchalantly. If I didn’t know the truth, I’d be yelling girl run.

But if Cami is oblivious to Marcel, she sees what Marcel misses—Davina’s crush on the cute curly-haired fiddler. (He looks like a Timothee Chalamet prototype, now that I think about it.)

Ooh, and this episode is where we meet the wonderful, enigmatic Father Kieran! I first saw Todd Stashwick in a fantastic, one-off episode of Supernatural where he plays, I kid you not, Dracula—who is obsessed with old monster movies. It’s campy and hilarious and I highly recommend it, even to non-spn fans! Anyway, the hey-it’s-that-guy actor gives a great performance here in this other campy, supernatural drama.

His quick thinking when Rebekah tries to compel him? Brilliant. How else would he have avoided attention? He’s a smart dude.

And we get his backstory—which is also tangentially Cami’s backstory—of the St. Anne’s massacre. Sean murdering people, and then himself, with a sickle.

“You’re standing on blood.”

“I’m not squeamish.”

A+ line for Rebekah, honestly. Written, delivery, just. *chef’s kiss* that’s her.

Elijah’s vision gives us what is technically our first present-day Relijah interaction in this show. Long overdue, imo.

I’ve already spoken about how TO simplifies the Rebekah/Elijah relationship to “siblings who care a lot about each other and don’t necessarily want to fight on any given day.” Which, honestly, I prefer to the sneering and posturing they did to each other on tvd.

They hug, because they’re happy to see each other! They’re happy the other is okay!

This plot point does bring up an interesting bit of lore that TO kind of neglects: in order to neutralize the Originals, the dagger must first be dipped in white oak ash. This is why Elijah can wake up after Davina pulls the dagger out—she didn’t re-dip it in white oak ash before re-stabbing him. But TO glosses over the why, and as far as I remember, never explicitly states the lore about ash again, even though we see originals get daggered many times over the course of the series.

But enough silly plot logic. This show is about family! And I’m okay with at least one sibling relationship being just…uncomplicated affection. One could even make a case that they’re the most themselves around each other. This is how they were as humans—kind, loving, lots of care for each other and those around them.

Hayley gets into some trouble in the bayou—our first real glimpse of her as a Tough Grrl who Fights For Herself. She is also rescued by Rebekah and a Mysterious Wolf. (instead of a Horse Girl, Hayley’s a Wolf Girl) but other than that, this mainly acts to set up the plot for the next few episodes (which I enjoy immensely!)

Back to Davina and her Cute Fiddler—their reunion serves as background noise to the real star of the episode, Cami’s trauma and her musings on the nature of evil and humanity.

“The world is an awful place. Best to meet it on its own terms.”

“No. The world isn’t awful. People aren’t awful. They want to be good. Something makes them bad.”

(In Klaus’s case it was rejection, daddy issues, and time. Stir and simmer for a millennium.)

But Cami’s desperation to understand her brother’s senseless killings, his suicide, is the first glimpse we get into her psyche. Her world. So far she’s just been a tool in the narrative. She could’ve been anyone. But now she’s someone. Someone who not only listens and responds to Klaus, but who has her own problems and her own worries. Her brother—her twin brother—killed people with no warning. And if she, who knew him like no one else did, couldn’t see it coming, how can she protect herself from the same?

Klaus: I don’t know anything about this and all I can say is “stand alone against your demons” because that’s all I’ve done and clearly it’s working great for me. Okbyetimeforyoutogo

(He’s not great at therapy. Or encouragement in general.)

He then struts down to the altar where he plants himself in front of Jesus and mother Mary and postures to Davina. What an incredible show. The audacity. I love it.

Same as before, Klaus tries to win her over by being suave and smooth and genteel. But that doesn’t work—so he pouts and uses brute force. Since he can’t compel Davina, he goes for her cute fiddler. Oh no!

Davina shatters the windows and then runs outside (?) in search of Tim. Meanwhile Klaus has him up top, where he unceremoniously tosses him over the railing. And then his fiddle. (Oh my gosh I hate him so much.)

I think this is meant to imply Davina thinks she hurt Tim with her magic, and Klaus can heal him to make her owe him something. Unfortunately, this is something I don’t think they ever circle back to—except that it cements Davina’s eternal and undying hatred for Klaus, something that never leaves, not even after the Few Seasons Fatigue sets in. She will always hate him. I respect her for that, but it does get boring. Girl, this is literally the Klaus Mikaelson Show. Accept it.

“If he remembers meeting you and comes knocking, poor Timothy might end up caught in an awful scheme to control you…again.”

Oh my GOSH he’s awful. The devil emoji was made for him.

And there’s another small hint of conflict between Marcel and Davina! When he asks her what happened at the church, why she’s there, she retorts rather resentfully, “I live here, remember?” Another fascinating thing that never quite comes full circle.

Klaus’s little snarl when he finds out Hayley has disappeared. His little smirk when he learns the baby has healed Hayley.

And we end on the star of the episode again—Cami’s sad, sad story. She invites Klaus in rather blithely—“this is super weird. Come in.” Girl, even uncompelled you have awful boundaries. Don’t let your employer in your house at night! Even if he asks politely! Even if you think his accent is cute!

Once again, Klaus reduces her agency. He takes away her part of the story—her brother’s suicide, her investigation, her worries. She is nothing more than a tool in his story, the story of how he wrested the city back from Marcel and became king of New Orleans. She can’t afford to have her own life, it’ll get in the way of his! Not to mention Sean’s breakdown is a dead end—he’s dead and he’s not coming back. So he must compel this interesting story out of her. But he’ll feel a little bit bad about it.

I love this line, where he appeals to family, to him trying to honor his brother (lol. You were the one who put him in a coffin, Klaus! You caused at least half these problems!) And Cami shoots back: “what about my brother?” because family in the abstract isn’t important to Klaus. Klaus’s family is important to Klaus, and only in that he can use them to help him retake the city.

It really makes me sad we never get to see Cami before Sean died. She goes through this show missing half of herself, and it’s implied she changed a lot after hearing the news. Yet we don’t hear much about it even past this season.

I’ve always thought the season doesn’t really get started until Elijah’s back with us. So, I guess the end of this episode is where the show really starts! Everyone welcome back the creepy guy in a suit who likes hanging out with little girls in attics—Elijah Mikaelson, guys!

We’ll be back this time next week to see who eats who: Elijah…or Davina.

[reidscanehand]

Derek’s Design

Episode 4 of The Love Profile

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x BAUfem! Reader

Category: Fluff

TW: cursing

Hello again and thank you so much for all of your support and love on this so far. I hope you like this chapter (we’re halfway through OMG). Love you xx 

~ “Love was the most savage of all.” - Rick Riordan ~

Derek Morgan was confident about his plan until his day came to enact his plan. Then he was nothing but a bundle of nerves. He felt from the start of this that the only way to get the two of you together would be through you. Sure, he’s known Hotch longer, and they’ve grown closer over the years, but it doesn’t change the fact that the Unit Chief can still be a tad forbearing and inscrutable, especially (and understandably) when it comes to his private life. The careful and precise nature in which Hotch lives his life makes it hard to find a way in, even on matters less heavy than this. However, rather thankfully (and adorably), the best way to Hotch is through you. 

You, who ruffles Hotch’s neatly-kempt feathers in the best way, making him laugh, joke, and even - on occasion - blush.

It is shocking that none of the plans have worked so far. Derek is rather astonished by this, fully believing that at least one of Penelope’s, Spencer’s, or Emily’s plans would work, thus rendering his useless. For his part, he’s most surprised Penelope’s didn’t seal the deal. She’d brushed off the failure with an uncharacteristic calmness and apathy, almost dismissively. 

Derek’s not sure what went wrong last Friday, amazed to not have received a text into the group chat with confirmation that the team was right and the two of you were comfortable with the team knowing, but asking for discretion. Instead, his Baby Girl sent a quick missive that simply stated:

“Flowers not delivered. Spencer’s turn Monday.”

Pretty Boy hadn’t even disclosed his plan to the group, firing off a quick: 

“Plan didn’t work, Emily next” on Monday night. 

And Emily’s, shockingly, simply said: “Those two are hard to crack; good luck tomorrow.” 

To say this made Derek nervous is an understatement, but he was determined to make it work. And he knows the best plan is just to guilt trip you. 

“Alright, Miss Ma’am,” Derek says, moving his chair over to your desk almost as soon as he gets into work. 

“Miss Ma’am?” you ask. “Am I in trouble?”

“A little bit,” he teases, deciding to suddenly look serious. 

“For what?” you laugh, astonished. “What have I done?”

“It’s more what you haven’t done,” Derek answers, and he can feel everyone in the bullpen looking at him now. He’s suddenly thankful that Hotch is in his office. 

“And what haven’t I done?” you grin, resting your chin on your hand and leaning toward him, still joking, not suspicious of him at all.

“You haven’t told me about your mans,” Derek says, dropping his volume only a modicum, so it’s quiet, but not quiet enough to keep everyone else from hearing. 

It’s clear that this throws you off. All of you are trained in the art of keeping secrets - knowing how others keep them and the best way to keep them. This unexpected turn of events obviously freaks you out, though. Your eyes go wide, your mouth opens slightly, as though not sure whether to talk or simply breathe. 

“I don’t, um, I don’t have a man,” you reply quietly. 

Derek can see people moving in his periphery, but he keeps on, undeterred, “No, no, no, now that’s a lie and you know it. You’ve been far too lovey dovey and happy for months now and there’s gotta be someone behind that smile-”

“Hey, Y/N,” Spencer calls from his desk. Derek whips around to look at the genius and sees Emily standing nearby, arms crossed looking nervous. 

“Yes?” you ask, voice breathy and worried. 

“Could you help me with this, please?” Spencer asks, pointing vaguely at the reports on his desk.

“Wait, wha-”

“Derek,” Emily cuts him off, “would you help me and Penelope with something, please?”

He sighs deeply, but as you stand and walk nervously to join Spencer, who smiles kindly, standing and giving you his seat, patting a comforting hand onto your shoulder, Derek can’t help but feel bad for his straightforward approach. 

When he reaches Emily, he feels even worse as the brunette looks at him reproachfully, before turning and leading him to Penelope’s batcave. The door opens and he steps in, followed by Emily who immediately slams the door behind him.

“What the fuck was that?” she whisper yells, despite the closed door. 

“It was my plan-”

“Your plan was to just, what, guilt trip Y/N?” Penelope whisper screams, just as irate if not moreso than Emily. “You couldn’t have come up with something more clever than that, babe?”

“Look, I tried to think of something better,” Derek replies quietly, “but none of your plans were working so I thought...I don’t know I’d go for a more straightforward approach.”

Emily scoffs and Derek looks at her reproachfully.

“Look, I get that it was a bad idea, but I was hoping that maybe she’d say she didn’t have a man - which is what she said - and I’d be able to subtly suggest things about Hotch and maybe have her realize that she likes him and that they’re perfect for one another.”

There’s a small silence and Penelope sighs sweetly, “Aw, poor baby, that’s not the worst idea, actually, but it’s not...um...strictly necessary.”

“Penelope!” Emily admonishes. 

“What? We’re gonna get mad at him and then not tell him the truth?” Penelope asks.

“The truth? What truth?” Derek looks between the two of them in confusion. The women make eye contact, having a wordless conversation it would seem, until Emily sighs and nods, relenting on whatever secret they’re keeping.

“What are you guys-”

“Hotch and Y/N are already together,” Penelope explains, even quieter than before. 

Derek’s eyes go wide, his eyebrows skyrocketing, “WHAT?”

“Shhh! Keep your voice down,” Emily whisper yells again. 

“I just...wait, how do you know this?” Derek can’t ask quickly enough.

“I saw them on the security footage the other night,” Penelope admits. 

“Doing...what exactly?” Derek scrunches his nose.

“Nothing like that,” Penelope chides, a small smile on her face. “They were kissing and discussing their days and....they’ve been together for a while, I think. They want to tell everyone, but they just can’t.”

“So...we were kind of right?” Derek whispers, partially to himself. 

“Yeah, in a way,” Emily replies. “But they don’t know we know.”

“Oh,” Derek nods. “So, why didn’t you guys tell me that beforehand?”

Emily and Penelope exchange a glance before the brunette responds, “Basically, we thought that, if we spread it around the group, someone else might find out - someone who doesn’t need to. And we don’t want it to hurt either of them...it’s a fragile situation.”

“Yeah,” Derek sighs, “I get that. I mean, I’m not gonna tell anyone or anything-”

“Oh, we know you won’t Chocolate Thunder,” Penelope smiles, standing and pulling him into a hug. “It’s just...it’s all so complicated. We were kind of hoping our ‘failures’ would scare you out of doing it, but I should’ve known better.”

Derek’s quiet for a minute, “Is there anything we can do to help them?”

“We’re hoping that maybe Rossi already knows,” Emily admits, “and that maybe he’ll have an idea. I was kind of hoping Spencer would have one, but-”

“He’s too much of a goody two shoes for that,” Penelope jokes. “It’ll work out, sweetheart.”

“I hope so,” Derek whispers, still holding Penelope in an embrace. He thinks about it for just a moment before he says, “Are you guys sure they’re already together?”

Emily smirks at Penelope, who returns the grin before pulling out of Derek’s embrace and leaning down to her computer.

“About time for morning coffee break, don’t you think, Em?” Penelope asks smugly.

“I would say so,” Emily agrees. 

The blond pulls up the security footage, then leans back, presenting it to Derek. He watches entranced as you awkwardly knock at Hotch’s door with your foot on the base board, encumbered with two cups of coffee. On the other side of the door, the Unit Chief looks at his watch, a smile tugging at his lips as he practically jumps up to answer the door. You grin as he opens his door and lets you in.

“Thought you could use a coffee, boss,” you greet him, walking past him. You cross to his desk and place the coffees on it as Hotch closes the door. 

Once the door is closed, he crosses to you and presses a kiss to the top of your head, “You’re a godsend, angel.”

“That’s why you love me,” you tease him, looking up at him. He beams down at you and kisses you on the lips.

Penelope and Emily turn and look back at Derek, who’s watching awestruck. 

“Wow,” he whispers.

“What is it, lovey?” Penelope asks sweetly, rubbing a hand up his back. 

“It’s just...nice to see my friends so happy,” Derek replies, smiling softly. 

“It is, isn’t it?” Emily says, looking back at the screen where you two are sitting, chatting and grinning without a care in the world. “Very nice.”

~~~

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[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

De(railed) +18

Summary: The canon episode "Derailed" reimagined where Reader is sent on the solo interview and Spencer, recklessly, decides to save her. Plus, the aftermath.

CW: mommy kink sub! Spencer x dom! female (she/her) reader, cum play, penetrative sex, light degradation, praise kink, light choking (mentioned), edging, calling him a slut (please let me know if I missed anything)

Word Count: 6 K (this is the longest thing I've ever written!)

Author's Note: Special thank you to @shemarmooresfedora for reading this for me because I was very nervous about the smut portion. And a very special thank you to @notanotherreidgirl for inspiring this idea! this was my ask so yeah, this is a little out there for me so be kind (*dips into the shadows*). Also I either really hate or really love this title :)

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De(railed)

Sitting on the train, headed towards Virginia for the custodial interview, you tried to remind yourself what Spencer said to you the previous night when you dropped him off at his apartment. You had his hands in yours and you could feel him shake with nerves when he spoke.

He told you that he believes in you. Even when you think that Hotch and Gideon are sending you out to the solo interview too early, Spencer believes in you. If only you’d believe a little bit in yourself, then maybe you’d be able to figure out a way off this train, but an armed man and innocent passengers proves that a little challenging.

The man passes the train up and down and you tell yourself to relax. In hindsight, it seems like a horrible series of events that lead to the man shooting the train attendant. You’ve done your best to keep him calm until the police can see him off the train. Looking outside, you see SWAT, local PD, and FBI lined up 50 yards from the train.

Continuing to wave his gun around the train, the unsub rants about wanting to talk to a higher authority. To yourself, to wish that Spencer was here with you. He’d have figured out exactly what was wrong with the man by now. For less than professional reasons, you’re forever grateful that he’s not here- that he’s safe on the other side of the train.

“He’s out of his mind,” the man holding a bottle of whiskey says, “You gotta do something, lady,” he says, taking a swig of his drink. Your eyes dart to him and back up the doctor, the unsub’s psychologist, looking for a way out.

You breathe deeply, hoping that the BAU would come up with a plan. Knowing FBI protocol, you expect them to try to initiate a line of communication. Glancing over at the unsub, you think that he’ll want to talk to someone who looks like they are powerful. That would be either Hotch or Gideon. Selfishly, you’re grateful that Spencer still looks like an underpaid TA with a toy gun attached at his hip.

“No! Please, don’t hurt me!” the young woman screams, trying to release herself from the man, Ted’s, grip. He releases her, throwing her to the ground when his phone rings.

Gideon.

On the phone with Gideon, the man demands for something to be removed. You can’t hear what he’s saying to the unsub, but you place the little faith you have left into hoping your team can save you.

***

His vest is much too big for him.

That’s all you can think of when you realize Spencer is the “technician” that they’re sending in. His tie and shirt stick awkwardly and there is a gap in his shoulders around the vest. The straps are pulled so tight that they nearly fold over. His hands aren’t shaking when he carries the small black box, but his eyes look terrified.

You want to reach out to him, maybe hold his hand or brush the strands of hair that have fallen into his face, but you can’t. You have to sit there and pretend that this is the first time you’ve met him. It’s excruciatingly sick and mildly amusing in an equally twisted way. The first time you’ve come to terms with loving Spencer, you both can very well die.

“I’m here for the chip,” Spencer says, holding his hands up, “the higher authorities sent me,” he claims, feeding into the unsubs delusion. You shield your glance, unable to trust yourself from launching yourself in between Spencer and the man with the gun.

“That’s far enough and drop your weapons,” Ted says, holding the crying woman by her neck, “and take that vest off. I want to see you,”

“I don’t have any weapons. They don’t authorize them for-”

“I said take it off!” the man shouts, throwing the woman to the ground.

Spencer complies, taking off the much too big vest and tossing it to the ground. He holds his hands up, playing the part of the unsuspecting underling well. He reaches out to Ted, showing him the tools that he’ll use to take out the “chip”. You wonder how Spencer will pull it off, but you know he will in the end.

Spencer digs into the man’s skin with the scalpel. You can’t catch the sleight of hand, but you know that’s what he used.

“I have to leave, the higher authorities need the chip-”

“Turn it on,” Ted orders, “Turn it on!” he screams, his voice booming in the small train.

Spencer’s eyes dart to yours thinking of ways that he can get out of here. He looks almost sorry, and you feel a wave of intense regret. The thousands of times you could have said those little words seem so simple now.

“I can’t turn it on,” Spencer says, “I can’t turn it on,” You hate how scared he sounds, and you hate even more how you have to pretend that you don’t know him.

“Why!” the unsub yells, thrashing the gun around, “You’re one of them!”

Thinking quickly when you see him point the gun at Spencer’s face, you jump to your feet. You push Spencer out of the way, terrified that he’ll do something rash. You can’t lose Spencer, not when you’ve hadn’t had the chance to have him yet.

“It needs to be implanted to be activated,” you say, “I know this stuff Ted, I’m a Fed. Only me. Everyone else,Ted is just innocent. Just let them go, Ted,” you plead, “Just let them go,”

“No!” he yells, shooting up into the ceiling of the train, “no!”

The windows are closed, but you suspect that Hotch and Gideon have the train surrounded by now. Spencer moves closer to you, staring at the man as he scratches his upper arm. He drops his hand towards yours and squeezes, like he’s saying sorry and saying goodbye all in one touch. You don’t realize this before it’s too late.

“Doctor Brier,” Spencer says, standing up with his hands near his head, “you’re right, there’s more-”

“Just make it stop!” the desperate man pleas, “Make it stop!”

“I know what it’s like, Ted. The voices, they’ve been talking to you since you were a kid. They don’t stop. I know what it’s like Ted,” Spencer says, inching closer and closer to him, “Leo? Why don’t you let him think for himself?” Spencer says, trying to use the man’s delusion against him.

“Don’t! Stop, you’re trying to trick me!” the man begs, whipping the gun around too close to Spencer’s face, “stop!”

You always listen to Spencer. Whatever he talks about, you listen. From Russian cinema to Star Trek to the Birch and Swinnerton-Dyer conjecture, you listen to him. It’s not that hard and it’s easy to get lost in his eyes or the way his hands move when he talks. But the seconds leading up to when the gunshot goes off, you’re not listening.

Because without Spencer, there isn’t much worth listening to.

***

Your eyes are squeezed shut so when a large hand hovers over your shoulder you jump at the touch. It takes you all of ten seconds to realize it’s Spencer. You look him over, searching for signs of mortal wounds that will rip him from your clutches, but there isn’t any.

“You’re okay,” you say, wanting nothing more but to kiss him or yell at him, or maybe a mix of the two, “you’re okay,” you repeat, not fully believing it the first time.

“We’re okay,” Spencer says, hugging you tight as you collapse into his arms, not caring if the rest of the team watches.

“I haven’t been fair to you, Spence,” you say, breaking from the hug to caress his face. You stop, holding his face in your hands, soaking him in, “you’re not someone who gets strung along, baby. I fucking love you and you-you mean so much to me. And I hate-I hate that it took you almost dying for me to realize that,” you cry, unable to care anymore.

“You love me?” Spencer whispers, unable, himself to care that they have an audience, “You love me back, but I’m, I-I,”

“Spencer,” you tell him, pausing to kiss him fully, “I,” you plant another kiss, on his right cheek, “love,” left cheek, “you,” forehead.

“You do, don’t you?” he says, looking at you with a proud smirk, “I guess that’s good because, I love you, Y/N. I don’t go risk my life just for everyone,”

“Watch yourself, baby,” you remind him, channeling the surge of pure life that runs through your veins, “you’re in for it later, my darling,” you tell him, whispering into his ear so only he can hear.

***

You didn’t even give him time to breathe before you pushed him up against the wall. Spencer’s hands still held yours, you don’t think that he dropped them since you two safely exited the train. He whimpers through the kiss, his breathy moan only serving to spur you on. His hands broke from yours, clinging to your waist. Spencer tries to peel your clothes from your skin, but he's much too distracted by your lips that travel across his cheekbones and down to his neck. He’s breathless and panting, but you don’t let up. If he’s breathing, he’s alive and that’s all that matters now.

“I’m so sorry, so sorry,” Spencer pleads, the desperation in his voice causing you to pause from your attack on his neck, “I-I, Y/N,” he stutters, feeling empty without your kisses.

“I’m not mad, sweet boy. I’m not mad at you,” you say, laying on a sweet voice as your fingers skim through Spencer’s hair. He’s shaking slightly and closes his eyes, looking like he’s grateful to be alive.

“You’re not, but I wasn’t good,” he whispers, “I wasn’t good for you, Mommy,”

You do everything in your power to keep your composure, but after a day like today, you’re ready to melt into him. He might be the one begging at your feet soon, but there’s no doubt in your mind that it’s you who's wrapped around his finger. He looks up at you, with his back leaning against the wall; his face flushed pink and marks littering his neck.

“You scared me, Spence. I thought- I just let me take care of you,” you request, dropping your hands from his hair and grabbing onto his hand as you lead him to your bedroom. You’ve made it a habit to go to your place after cases; Spencer claims that the sunlight that dips into your bedroom in the morning is more pleasant than his view of the street, but you know he just prefers your bed and the attention he gets at your place.

“Please, Y/N,” he begs, following you into the bedroom. He’s at your heels and burrowed deeply in your heart, exactly where you want him.

You drop his hands, guiding him so his knees hit the edge of your plush bed. He kicks off his shoes and starts to undo his tie and shirt, but you stop him before he gets the chance.

“Let me do that for you, baby. I’m taking care of you tonight,” you say, feeling your heart swell as he looks up at you adoringly, “Mommy’s got you, my brave boy,” you tell him, your fingers grazing over his cheekbones, his nose and eyes. His eyes close as you continue to draw shapeless shapes over his skin.

“Thank you,” he mutters, saying it like a pray as he relaxes for the first time today, “thank you, Mommy,”

You smile at the name, enjoying how pliant he is as you unbutton his shirt and loosen his tie. His flushed cheeks lead down his equally flushed chest. You place both your legs over his body, hovering over him as you straddle him. The proximity eggs him on and the minimal friction near his pants causes him to buck up words. Mercilessly, you chuckle at his attempt to get off. You want nothing more than to put him out of his misery, but watching him squirm for the tiniest bit of affection— your affection makes you nearly as desperate as Spencer.

“Patience, sweetheart,” you tell him, harshly pulling off his shirt as you nibble on his ear. He whimpers out in desire, already unable to form coherent thoughts even though you’ve so much as kissed him.

You stop touching him, sinking down to your knees before him. Spencer looks down at you, his pupils blown and his hair messy from being pushed up against the wall. His breathing is erratic and unmeasured, but he’s heart is still beating. You smile, unafraid and not caring that it breaks character as you give his thigh a squeeze. You bring his hands to his buttons, motioning for him to unbutton his pants for you.

“I can’t do all the work now, can I, baby?” You question rhetorically, quite self satisfied that he nods eagerly. He quickly undoes his pants, kicking the heavy corduroy trousers near your bathroom door. If the moment wasn’t so tense and erratic, you probably would have teased him for his excitement.

“I want to touch you, please? Mommy” Spencer starts, his hands holding your face as you kneel. He holds your face so delicately and gently, it’s a contrast to the sinful way he’s squirming above you.

“Not yet,” you tsk, slipping your finger under the waistband of his boxers. The bulge in his underwear looks very uncomfortable, but Spencer clearly tries his best to behave under your strong stare. You peel back the underwear and let it drop to Spencer’s feet. His cock, now exposed, is painfully hard. He concentrates on his breathing and trying to remain composed as your fingers travel up his leg and towards his groin.

“There’s my pretty boy,” you coo, grabbing Spencer’s jaw and making him look down at you. He lets pitiful whine at your words, “Come on, make my fingers nice and wet,” you order, sticking out two fingers that he sucks enthusiastically.

“What a good little slut I have, you’re sucking Mommy’s fingers just as if it’s my strap, aren’t you sweet boy,” you say, gently resting your other palm loosely around his neck. You don’t apply any pressure, but let it serve as a reminder of what could happen.

Happily, Spencer sucks your fingers, moaning around them and bucking his hips up in frustration. Marred by impatience, you remove your fingers from his mouth and kneel back down on the floor. Loosely, you grip his cock with your wet fingers. Spencer whines at the friction that’s nothing close to enough.

“Tell me how that feels,” you demand, “Tell Mommy how I makes you feel,”

“I-I feel,” Spencer starts, concentrating intently, but unable to truly articulate the passion you ignite in him, “Mommy, you make me feel so good,” Spencer says, finally finding the words, even though they barely scratch the surface.

“That’s all I want, baby. You deserve to feel good. So let me take care of you, my love,” you tell him, watching as he simpers at your words.

For a second there you let yourself think that maybe it’s calling him my love that prompted his reaction, not the promise of his cock in your mouth. You know after tonight there’s no tip toeing around it anymore: you’re unequivocally in love with him and you’re a little disappointed that it took the pair of you nearly dying to figure it out finally.

Looking back up at him, you abandon your plans for a moment. You kiss him hard. Normally, you’d hate the way your teeth clash against someone else’s and how the kiss isn’t really a kiss. It’s hard to pace yourself when he’s whimpering below you as you grind down hard on his crotch. The fabric of your pants provides much needed friction, causing Spencer to cry out in a twisted mix of pleasure and pain. He paws at your work short, silently begging for you to shed your layers as well.

“Good boys wait,” you tell him, kissing his forehead and sinking back down for the last time. You’ll never be done teasing him, but for now you intend to put his needs first.

“Such a pretty cock that only I get to see,” you coo, running a finger up his length, relishing in how he shudders at your touch. You’ve touched him so many times, yet he reacts each time as if it’s the first. He’s leaking precum as his breathing becomes more and more strained. This is far from your first time with Spencer and you’re well aware of the signs of his release.

Smiling up at him, you lazily wrap your hand around him, giving him the smallest bit of friction and attention that he needs to come. You drop him once he’s close to the edge, his pleading, begging eyes turning glazed over when he realizes you’re taking off your shirt. By the way he’s looking at you, you’d think you’d be wearing your best lingerie. Quickly, you’ve learned that with Spencer you could be wearing your ratty college tee shirts and he’d still look at you like you were dripping in gold.

“Mommy,” he pleads, “I’m a good boy,” he says, no trying to convince himself to hold back from his release, “please Mommy. I’m gonna-“ Spencer says, the flush on his face deepening as he throws his head back in ecstasy. However, he summons enough energy and will to reach out and palm your boobs. You don’t hide your moans as he rolls a nipple in between his thumb and pointer finger. It only encourages him, but nowhere can you find in yourself to care.

“I’m sorry, Mommy,” Spencer whimpers, unable to hold himself up anymore and collapsing on the bed. His chest heaves up and down as he tries to collect himself. He comes all over your chest, staining your lavender bralette and looking very proud of himself. Spencer learned quickly as well that coming before you’ve even touched him earns him quite the praise.

“Such a good boy,” you praise, choosing to ignore him coming without permission, “such a messy boy though,” you chastise, squeezing his thigh and crawling your fingers up his chest.

“Mommy, please, I want to make you feel good too. I love you,” Spencer begs, his eyes droopy with exhaustion from the long day and glazed over with his orgasm. His words slur together as if he's drunk off something potent. His eyes meet yours, but flit down quickly. He scans your soiled chest, licking his lips unconsciously as his eyes rank over your breasts covered in the lavender lacy and stained with his cum.

“Do you know what good boys do?” You ask, expecting Spencer to answer the question without hesitation.

“They clean up their mess, Mommy,” he says. In a moment of bravery, he grabs your hand, guiding you to lay down on the bed. He twists his hands around your back, unlatching your bra from your body and tosses it on the ground.

Above you, Spencer lowers his face so his chin barely grazes your chest. His tongue darts out onto your skin, licking up the messy cum that fell on your chest. You place your hands in his hair, gripping firmly. It’s not hard enough to cause any pain, but it’s tight enough to remind him to stay put. Spencer hums contently, lapping up your chest, but keeping his eyes trained on yours. You pull him up by his hair, pieces fall over his blissed out eyes. He smiles up at you, his chin glistening with cum, but looking pleased with himself.

“That’s a good boy,” you praise, pulling him up to kiss him deeply. His tongue swirls around in yours and his large hands cup your face. You can feel him moving in your lap, more and more desperate for attention and friction as you continue to hold him off, “I love you, baby,” you say, hoping that he’ll hear enough times for it to stick and for him to start living his life like he wants to stay alive.

“Just for you, Mommy,” Spencer mumbles, already sucking and marking the valley between your breasts, “Can you? Please?” Spencer asks, still embarrassed, after all these months to put to words his desires.

“What, baby? You need to use your words,” you tell him, scooting up in the bed and smirking to yourself as Spencer practically chases you up the headboard, “You need to tell him what you want me to do, baby,” you say, talking slowly as you rub circles into his skin. He’s still hot to the touch and flushed all over.

“I want to make you feel good,” Spencer begs, licking his fiery red lips that are swollen and bitten from your earlier treatment, “I want you to feel good,” he says, attempting to buck his hips against your legs.

“Are you sure about that, Spence?” you ask, teasing him with your wandering hands. One stays latching in his hair, exposing his criminally bare neck and the other sneaks down to his cock, but hardly satisfies his burning need, “Because it seems like you’re an insolent little slut who only cares if he gets off. Do I need to remind you that I have needs as well,” you chide, increasing your grip on his hair as your lips nip the sensitive skin of his neck. He shudders in response, unable to fully articulate a sentence.

“But you’re lucky, you’re beautiful, Dr. Reid,” you say, dropping his hair and letting his head fall onto your chest. Knowing your expectations, Spencer doesn’t hesitate to kiss and nip along your skin. You feel your panties dampen at the sight of him: his hair wild and messy, his neck marked with evidence of your mouth, and his chest is bright red, somehow still flustered and embarrassed by your affections. You find it bizarre that he still doesn’t fully believe just how head over heels you are for him. He’s too good and pure for this world, and you’ll happily spend the rest of your life reminding him just how deserving of goodness and pureness he is.

“I love you,” Spencer whimpers against your skin, his breath is hot as he pants, “but please fuck me,” he begs, flipping around on his back so you can be on top.

“Don’t worry, sweet boy, Mommy will take care of you,” you remind him, balancing yourself so you can hover over him, “Now, I’d normally want you to be quiet, but I want to hear everything. So use that pretty mouth of yours and tell me how you feel, sweetie,” you instruct, maneuvering yourself so you’re lined up with him.

“Give me a second, please,” Spencer asks, pushing himself up so his back rests against the headboard, “You make me crazy, I just need a moment to think,” he says, quietly, staring off nothing in the bedroom. You take the opportunity to grab his hand, that’s gripping onto your floral patterned sheets, and kiss his scars on his knuckles. Some are new and fresh, while others are old, from longer ago than working at the BAU. You kiss them over, as if your lips are able to help the evidence of his physical pain.

“You make me crazy too, Spencer,” You say, growing more and more unhinged as he moves underneath you, “I love you so much, darling,” you tell him, kissing his eyes, lips, nose, anything you can reach.

Slowly, so slowly, you sink down onto Spencer. You watch his microexpressions, but you know how he’ll react. He squeezes his eyes shut, as if he’s willing himself to hold off. He breathes in and out, teetering on the edge. You wait for his nod, for his sign of approval that you can move. He whines and peeks open his eyes. Spencer’s hands dig into your waist, his strong, large hands searching for any skin to grab onto.

“Please move, Mommy,” Spencer begs, burying his head into the crook of your neck as he starts to plead with you to have mercy on him, “I need it, Mommy,” he moans.

“Don’t be greedy, darling. You’ll take what I give you, but don’t you want to make me feel good too, baby,” you ask, guiding his nimble fingers to your slick core. His thumb and pointer finger begin to rub quick circles around your clit. You bite your lip, trying to keep your composure as you feel the pressure build. Between the heightened tensions of work and Spencer's hot breath against your neck, you know that you’ll come soon. Spencer’s breathy moans get more and more desperate.

“Are you already going to come again, love?” You ask, increasing your pace. His other hand grips your thigh, drawing shapes into your soft skin. Following suit, you match his sweet movements on his cheek. His breath is his shaky as you stroke his cheek lovingly, “Make me come first and then, maybe if you’re good, I’ll let you come inside me,” you promise, already knowing that you’ll let him come inside you.

“Watch you disappear inside me, baby. Watch your pretty cock slip inside my pussy. It’s just like you were made for me, darling,” you cry, your voice getting slightly breathy yourself. You watch yourself as his cock goes in and out, red with overstimulation. Spencer’s eyes, littered with small tears, looks transfixed.

“Fuck,” Spencer says, “I’m so close, Mommy. I-I, you make me feel so good. You’re so beautiful, I-I-”

“So needy, you’re so fucking needy,” you say to him. You can tell he’s growing more and more impatient by the moment. His hands lurch towards your chest, pawing at your boobs. Spencer’s sloppy movements bring you closer and closer to the edge.

“So good, so good,” he repeats, his sweaty forehead rests on your collarbone. You pull him up again his hair, relishing in the pitiful moan that he lets out. It’s raw and pure sin, it should make you want to fuck him more, but it only makes you want to love him more.

You’re drunk on him. Drunk on his moans and whimpers of pleasure. You’re drunk on the way his skin sticks to yours and how his hands roam around your body, always finding a spot on your torso and legs that makes you approach the edge closer and closer. You wonder, for a second, if you’re being too hard on him. If you should just whisper that little sentence and let Spencer feel the wave of pleasure.

“I need it, Mommy,” Spencer pants, kissing lined up your chest and collarbone. His face is pressed up against your face and moves up and down as you continue your pace, “I-I, Mommy, I want you to-”

“What do you want, baby? Hmm? Tell Mommy?” You ask, your voice sounding sickly sweet. The noise of moans fills the room, Spencer’s moan akin to whimpers and whines and your’s more like praises and words of approval, “you’ve been such a good boy, baby I’ll give you want whatever you want, my love”

“Please, please let me make you come, Mommy. I need you to come, Mommy. I need it,” Spencer whines, looking up into your eyes and latching onto them in the darkness.

It’s sinful how the filthy words contrast with his sweet, shy tones. He looks so innocent, but enthralling with his face between your hands, but his own hands rubbing small circles on your clit. His moans grow more high pitched. You kiss by his ear, ready to whisper the words of approval that you’ve neared your release.

“Oh god, Spencer. God. You have no idea what you do to me. My sweet boy,” you murmur, pressing Spencer’s face further into your chest. You can feel him heave and his breathing grow more and more unsteady, but he still has enough sense to continue rubbing your clit.

You kiss him, wanting to feel him everywhere when you come undone. Kissing him is desperate and full of gasps of air. His skin is so soft as you slide across his mouth, up his cheeks, and over his jaw. His helpless moans spur you on, giving you the strength and energy to thrust down on him another time before you feel yourself come undone.

“It’s your turn, baby. Come on, sweetheart. Come inside me and maybe I’ll have to call you daddy? Hmm?” you chant, halting your movements to torture him a little longer.

“Please, Y/N. Please let me fill you up,” Spencer begs, his voice hoarse and scratchy from being so vocal, “I’m yours. I love you so much,” he calls out, wrapping his arms around you so your chests are pressed up together. He holds you sweetly and you kiss his shoulders and his neck, choosing to leave a large red welt as a reminder for him.

“You like that? Hmm you like if I call you Daddy and let you fill me up? Come on, Spencer. You can come. Don’t you want to be a good boy for Mommy?,” you say, giving him the permission that he’s been desiring all night.

He tightens his grip on your upper half as he meets his release. Spencer’s strangled moans turn into sweet whimpers as he looks down into your laps. Quietly, you ride him through the rest of his orgasm, letting him come down from his high peppered with light pecks along his freckled shoulders and sharp jawline. Spencer smiles into the kisses, his eyes are shut and his cheeks are dusted with a light pink flush. For the first time today, he looks relaxed and safe.

“Thank you, Mommy,” Spencer says quietly, mirroring your motions and kissing your shoulders and neck as you slow your pace, “Can we stay like this. Just for a moment,” Spencer asks, burning for the feeling of being inside you for even a couple more minutes.

“Of course, baby,” you tell him, squeezing him into a tight hug, “you did so wonderful for me. Such a good boy. I love my sweet boy,” you tell him, brushing the stray hairs from his face. His neck is marked by your mouth and his eyes are glazed with sleep and desire.

“I love you,” Spencer says again, his forehead falling against yours and his breath hitching as you move slightly with him inside you, “and I’m sorry. I’m sorry about today,”

“Let’s get you cleaned up, sweetheart and then we’ll talk about it,” you suggest, taking the opportunity to kiss his lips as you pull yourself away from his lap.

Spencer doesn’t say much in response, but nods silently. He groans slightly as you separate your bodies and he tries to chase your lips with his as you climb out of the bed and into your bathroom.

“Please come back,” Spencer says, sounding like he wasn’t sure if you’d keep your promise.

“I’m right here, Spence,” you reassure him, returning from the bathroom dressed in an old tee shirt and carrying a warm, damp washcloth and a pair of clean underwear for Spencer.

“Can you please hold me? Please, Y/N. I need you,” Spencer says, reaching out to you in the dark. That’s one request you know you’d never deny.

“Of course, Spence. Just let me clean you up and I’ll hold you,” you tell him, gently dragging the warm towel over his skin. He’s quiet as you clean him up, but his soulful eyes look lost and sheepish, making him look smaller and more vulnerable than he actually is. You drop the towel to the floor, not caring that the water isn’t good for the floor.

You lay back down on the bed and Spencer, like a magnet to another magnet, crawls in close. He’s still undressed, except for the underwear that you gave him. His eyes are droopy and his breathing is still shaky, but steadies out as your hands draw circles on his back. You pull the covers up to his chin, making sure he’s covered before you start what you know all too well is a difficult conversation.

“Spencer,” you croak, “Why did you do that? Why do you think that’s okay?” you ask, still trying to make sense of why Spencer would risk his life like that so recklessly. You hold him tighter, squeezing his arm as he breathes out, ready to tell you what he’s never told anyone before.

“Bec-, because- I don’t matter,” he says, the words choking out between cries of years and years of pain, “because it doesn’t matter to anyone if I don’t come home. I don’t have anyone to come home to,”

“You’ve always had me,” you say quietly, “I’m your person to come home with, Spence,” you tell him, hoping with all the faith in your body that he’ll believe you. You hold his hand, weaving your fingers in his. Looking at your hands intertwined together, you’d think that your hand was made for it. It’s a little cliche, but Spencer is the kind of man that makes all those cliches seem like wonderful possibilities.

“I-I, I never had someone before,” Spencer says, “I mean, I had my mom, but it’s gotten harder. But then, then, I met you. And I never thought you’d like me like that, Y/N. I never thought you could love me,”

“Spencer,” you say, twisting around so you can hold his face in your hands, “Spencer, I love you. You are so much more than your job. You’re worthy of being loved, Goose. And I’d spend the rest of my life making you realize this”

“You want to spend the rest of your life- the rest of your life with me?” Spencer asks, sounding like he can’t believe the words that you say.

“Spence, I’ve loved you since I’ve known you,” you say, dragging your hands through his curly hair that’s matted against his forehead, “You would have realized that if you weren’t too carried away with making me your future history,”

“I think I have a habit of doing that,” Spencer confesses, kissing your forehead sweetly, “You’re- I’m sorry that I worried you like that, but for so long, for so long this is all I’ve had. And before that it was school. I throw myself into academia or work because it’s all I had,”

“Had,” you repeat, “as in the past tense. You’ve had some much more than too, Spence. We all love you. Elle and Derek. JJ and Hotch. Penny and Gideon. We all love you, but I love you the most,”

“Good,” Spencer replies, turning his head down to kiss you, “because I love you the most,”

His lips glide across yours, moving slowly at first and faster as he grows more urgent. There’s no sense in rushing through. You could kiss him lazily in your bed all night and continue until it gives way to morning. There’s no time limit, no buzzer that’s going to go off and force Spencer to whole himself back up into his past. He smiles through the kiss, knowing well that there’s more to come tomorrow, or maybe even tonight. His lips were warm and soft, maybe still a little tender from before, but still eager to feel your lips against his. Breathing together, savoring that you both are breathing, you smile yourself, fully ready for whatever comes next.

***

Taglist (not my usual taglist because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable bc this is smut. You can join the taglist here!)

@shemarmooresfedora @just-another-persona123 @folkreid @idonotexiste @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @fandomfriend33 @spencersrose @strawberryspence

[thesoulspulse]

Good Vlad AU (Vlad’s Powers)

Alright, before we get started I’m going to be discussing canon Vlad’s powers a bit because there’s something I found interesting while researching them. Now, I do remember that in the show there were times when Vlad used ecto-energy that was a different color than his trademark pink energy, but I didn’t realize just how many he used. And sure while these might only be graphical errors in the show or inconsistency in general, I’d like to think there’s more to it. If not, then they just look cool! Lets take a look at them shall we?

First up we have Vlad’s first appearance in the show in “Bitter Reunions,” Vlad used a combination of green energy and the pink energy we’re more familiar with. Most likely they only changed the main color of his attacks to make him stand out from Danny, but it’s still interesting all the same!

Next up we see Vlad using blue energy in the episode “Maternal Instinct” which  must be a sign because I wrote a whole re-imagining of that episode for my Good Vlad AU (https://thesoulspulse.tumblr.com/post/662310410203152385/good-vlad-au-maternal-instinct-re-imagined) AND I’ve been thinking of having my Good Vlad use white/blue ecto-energy for his attacks too!

And finally, while this is still pretty close to Vlad’s classic pink energy, in “Reign Storm” Vlad is seen here using purple energy so that’s pretty cool!

Alright, so that said I wondering if it would be cool if my Good Vlad’s energy is white but can change colors depending on the type of attack he’s trying to do? Such as for example, green could be standard/neutral ghost energy, and the energy gets more powerful from there going from blue, to pink, to purple, and then finally red? I know we don’t see Vlad use red energy attacks but canon Vlad does have glowing red eyes. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this theory before in the amazing fanfic “Checkmate” by pearl84, so credit goes to them or whoever came up with a headcanon like this first!

That said, I’m going to be putting my own spin to it and also say that the color effects emotions too like...the purple and red energy could indicate how ‘dark’ or ‘evil/hostile’ you feel which makes it hard to control unless you have a lot of experience for it such as the Fright Knight or Pariah Dark. With that in mind I imagine my Good Vlad tends to hover between mainly using blue and purple energy mainly because as good as he is he can be a bit selfish, possessive, and quick to anger at times even if its for a good reason. He just deeply cares about the few people in his life that make it a little less lonely, so if pushed too far Vlad can lose control if someone he loves gets badly hurt, especially Danny.

That’s just one idea I’m considering though so I’m not sure if that will be canon to this AU yet, and if I decide against it we’ll stick to him using the white/blue energy primarily. Anyways, lets move on to Vlad’s powers based on what I plan to expand on in this AU. I’ll skip over most of Vlad’s basic powers though like changing from ghost to human and all that though since those are kind of a given at this point of ghost abilities that he’d still have access to.

Ecto-energy Redirection: First up we have this sick move which Vlad literally only used once. He caught Danny’s ecto-energy attack and redirected it right at him! THAT has a lot of potential I think! And what’s funny is, Danny Phantom came out in 2004 but in 2005 Avatar The Last Airbender did and now I keep picturing Good Vlad doing something epic like redirecting Lightning the same way Zuko does:

So yeah, that’s one power I’d really love to add to Vlad’s arsenal that wasn’t explored in the show further than that first episode we see him use it or meet Vlad at all.

Ecto-Energy Shield & Constructs: I’m combining these two since it’s basically a crystalized form of ecto-energy that is much more dense and therefore more heavily reinforced which I imagine isn’t as easy to pull off as canon Vlad makes it out to be. Plus, I’m gonna be honest, I mostly just want an excuse to see Vlad use a sword again in battle so I’d love to add that as part the canon for this version of him. As in Vlad has been professionally trained in many styles of swordsmanship, mainly fencing (cause rich people just always seemed to get into that as a trope) and medieval combat since he has a soft spot for ghostly historic artifacts and history in general.

Power Augmentation: I’m going to redefine this so what Vlad basically does is overcharge his energy attacks which can take a bit longer to charge up but packs a twice as powerful attack. However, it also drains him twice as much so this has be be used sparingly even for him.

Money, Power, Connections and Influence: Ok, this one isn’t a literal ghost power so I’m kinda cheating a little, but consider this. In the show, Vlad IS confirmed to be the richest man in the WORLD right? Think about that for a second. Sure in the show we see him cheat his way to power, cut corners, and lord over people with his power and wealth, but what if Danny (and indirectly his parents too) had Good Vlad’s full support and access to all his resources?

What if Uncle Vlad could help out our hero from the sidelines by offering information that a normal teenager wouldn’t just be able to find online or read in a book? Like for example, having a text about a certain ghost in his personal library or sharing with Danny and his friends his latest inventions which unlike Danny’s parents are made from higher quality tech often made by Vlad personally since this version wouldn’t be stealing ideas from Jack and Maddie. He doesn’t have to, he’s just as brilliant if not more so than the two of them combined? Plus has plenty of connections not only in the real world, but also in the Ghost Zone so anything Danny could ever possibly need to figure out which big bad he’s fighting would literally be at his fingertips...

All he has to do, is ask for it.

Yep, easy as that because THIS Vlad considers Jack a friend again and respects Maddie as a fellow scientist so after meeting Danny all he wanted was the chance to be close to him since he feels like they have a special bond as the only half-ghosts in the world. Vlad still considers Danny a son, but he’d never ask him to leave his friends and family behind unless it was for their own safety. Even then, he’d invite them into the safety of his mansion/castle long before things got to that point.

Teleportation: I felt like this was worth mentioning on the list because it’s kind of another trademark move of Vlad’s so of course I gotta keep it in!

Ghost Core: This is a phandom thing based on something Frostbite says to Danny but this part is a bit tricky since we don’t know for sure what core Vlad might have in canon or which one I should give him in this AU so lets see what the options are:

Electric Core: Considering how many times Danny gets ‘zapped’ by canon Vlad it seems like this is the most likely candidate. However, that would mean that Good Vlad would have some immunity as a result from electrical attacks which may be a bit overpowered, although it would be fun to play with the idea that his powers even now still cause disturbances when upset or angry like making things short out, causing televisions to show only white noise/static, his voice being heard over the radio or phone like it’s being projected, that sort of thing.

Fire Core: Some of canon Vlad’s attacks look like fire so this could work too, but Good Vlad would use this really cool white fire which just looks pretty and very ghostly. So when he gets too upset or angry, stuff starts to burn or the room temperature rises. I kind of use this to explain his ghost sense, like his comes out as hot air which isn’t visible like Danny’s so it’s like when you inhale steam only he exhales it.

Heat Core (Both): Lastly, this idea is just to kinda combine the two ATLA style where Lightning and Fire are just two sides of the same coin. However, that would mean Danny has the opposite, a Cold Core, which would technically mean he could use water-based attacks in my opinion sort of like aquakinesis which is described as the psychic or supernatural ability to manipulate water, but I’m getting off topic so lets leave that for you to ponder.

Weaknesses: That’s about all I have for now on the ghost power end of things, I know I skipped over a lot of them, but for the most part just assume that Good Vlad still HAS all the same powers as canon Vlad. The biggest difference here is that he uses them mostly for Danny’s benefit, not his detriment or against him. Still, Good Vlad has a lot of weaknesses too. The characters in this show can get really overpowered, but often times, what takes them down is their own hubris...

After all, Vlad wouldn’t be Vlad if he wasn’t still a bit childish and overconfident.

Admittedly, Good Vlad ended up cutting some corners to get where he is today as far as his wealth is concerned too but unlike canon Vlad he didn’t resort to theft. However, with that in mind the only thing that actually stopped him from giving into that temptation to make things easier for himself was worrying about what Jack and Maddie might think of him if they ever found out he did something so underhanded. And he didn’t want his old friends to lose faith in him. Still, apart from that Vlad doesn’t really have any good role models in his life or friends who were close to him at that point to let him know when he’s going too far...

Once Vlad was basically left to his own devices with no one to stop him, he grew accustomed to just doing whatever he damn well pleased with his new ghost powers. Vlad didn’t have a whole town to protect, parents to hide from, none of the stuff Danny has to deal with so he could basically get away with stuff completely scot-free since ghosts just aren’t common knowledge to anyone where he lives. He’s like a spoiled child that doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong sometimes. Sure, Vlad does a lot of nice things with his money like making donations to animal rescues, saving rain forests, and orphanages, all the classics, but apart from that though Vlad just uses his powers to try and obtain tons of cool magical/ghostly artifacts from all over the world and in the Ghost Zone.

At least, that’s how it went until Danny came into the picture.

Danny is Vlad’s biggest weakness in more ways than one. Vlad cares about him and his family now to an obsessive degree which therefore means he now has something to not only protect...but to lose if his own enemies go after them. Therefore as much of a sweetheart as Good Vlad is, you mess with his ‘family’ and he will END YOU. Most of the time Vlad is very rational and strategic, but when to comes to Danny he’s prone to getting overprotective and truly vicious which brings out a side of him that even scares the man himself sometimes.

So Danny, in exchange for getting a mentor and someone he can turn to for help, is one of the few people that can keep Vlad grounded in reality when that happens. Not to mention Danny helps teach him better ways to use his powers for good the way his friends help him do that. Still, since they’re on the same side Vlad can be a bit of a bad influence too and encourages Danny to use his powers to pull harmless pranks on the classmates that bully him.

It’s one of the ways they like to bond and frankly, Danny’s friends can be killjoys sometimes since they don’t have to deal with the relentlessly bullying that he does on a daily basis just because he comes from a family of ghost hunters. They have it easy, but Vlad? In college he and Jack went through the same thing so Vlad can ACTUALLY relate to Danny’s situation much better. This isn’t the healthiest kind of relationship, but it’s still better than the way canon Vlad kept SAYING he wanted to help, wanted Danny to accept him as a father figure, but never ACTED like one.