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binniesthighs · 3 years

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eehee here it is the long awaited results of my chaotic ass survey about our hornies it’s so long holy heck, but I have seperated it into a couple sections to make sense of it all (omg if you read all of it lemme give you a kith teehee) ahhhh lol its SO nerdy haha but i hope that ya enjoy nonetheless! ✨

In this essay, I will....(hahah jk jk this is just all for fun)

1. Demographics Analysis

2. Polls on Fic Content

3. Member Specific Analysis

4. Deep Dive into the Juicy Questions (Confessions)

5. General Thoughts and Conclusion

6. Cute shit that ya’ll said that made me giggle

*Unpopular opinions will be made into their own post to give them ample space and analysis!

Other Notes:

Out of 100 individuals surveyed, 44 were readers, 2 were only writers, and 54 were both readers and writers.

Statistical significance can be effected by sampling, selection, and response bias (yeah i took a stats class teehee) and personal biases

All the the opinions and other analysis presented by me (Ro/binniesthighs) are purely my own oponion and are not factual. you are entitled to interpret all of this information however you like! Anything that i analyze is not definitive!

while this survey is mostly about stay smutblr, i hope that it can also maybe serve as a template for other fandoms as well with the more general questions! this is a survey for everyone!

i’d love to hear about what you think about anything presented in this analysis! feel free to send me an ask or comment! reposting is permitted within tumblr or on other platforms if proper credit is given! ❤️ (uwu hehe if you could please help me spread this i would appreciate it so much! i worked really hard on her 🥺)

1. Demographics Analysis:

Gender Identities of those Surveyed

~My thoughts: this really came as no surprise to me considering how the majority of kpop fans (especially boy group fans) identify as female! Seeing as I am a Stray Kids/Seventeen blog (both of them boy groups) it makes sense to me that my readers would mostly identify as female!

Another important thing to note (from a writer standpoint at least) is the wide array of identities that we still have present within the general audience of stay smut blur (SSB)! I’ll get into this later when i discuss favorite pairings to read, however i think that this gives us one more reason to write for a diverse audience of readers who can identify with different types of self-insert fics!

Top Five:

Female (81%)

Non-binary/gender non-conforming (13%)

Changes by the day (6%)

Male (4%)

Demiboy/Demigirl (3%)

Sexual Orientation of those Surveyed

Other identities mentioned:

????, unlabeled, aromatic bisexual, bicurious, demisexual, “just liking who i like”, experimenting, heteroflexible, sapiosexual, depends day by day, “i just like anyone”

~My thoughts: okkkkk i see us gays of SSB 😏 these demographics were really exciting for me to see! i think that it’s super cool that we have such representation across the board when it comes to sexual orientations present in our community! As someone who personally identifies as pan, this was super comforting to see that there are so many others like me in this little space of the internet! I think it’s safe to say at least from my lil survey that all the bi cuties out here own SSB 💗💜💙

From a literal standpoint, it also makes sense to me that heterosexuality is strongly present as well considering that often the pairs that we read are male idol x female reader so this is the perfect niche!

Top Five:

Bisexual (40.8%)

Heterosexual (26.5)

Pansexual (17.3%)

Queer (7.1%)

Asexual (4.1%)

Stay Creators!!

~My thoughts: this one i was THRILLED at seeing oml hahaha and i was so interested to see that this was nearly an even split!

I think that there’s something to be said about how sometimes we can take our hobbies: (movies, videogames, books, kpop, anime etc)--all things which we really like in totally normal and healthy ways but also kinda like....get hornies about them too? if that makes sense? for example, i have a friend who really likes certain video games/characters from these games as a fan and he’s shared with me that he also doesn’t mind watching porn containing those same characters! (ahahah ya all know what i mean don’t even lie haha)

what this question proved to me as that there are stays out there who practice “being a stay/being a stay creator” who also are interested in the more...horny side of this hobby/interest 😂

what is even more interesting to me is who i wonder if i’ve have consumed any of ya’ll’s content while you have consumed mine??? this i am DYING to know aha but it think its best for all of us to stay anonymous teehee ;)

either way, good on ya for doing what ya do!! you are so so treasured in this community too!! <3

2. Polls on Fic Content (a long section lol)

Favorite Pairing to Read

*other options selected were rankings of favorite pairings so i just added each of them as an entry to the respective category mentioned.

Top Five:

Idol x female reader (69%)

Idol x gender neutral reader (19%)

Idol x reader x Idol (poly r/ship) (14%)

Idol x reader, Idol x reader (threesome, not much interaction between the two idols) (8%)

~My thoughts: once again, this category was pretty self explanatory to me considering that the majority of readers are female identifying, so it would make sense that they would prefer to read smut that aligns with their identity! This is also super present anyway of SSB as i do feel like the majority of writing pieces that I do come along are idol x female reader, and most authors too often disclaim that they are the most comfortable writing this type of pairing as well.

What’s signficant as well is the interest in reading fics with gender neutral reader self inserts as well! this is my personal philosophy when it comes to writing (specifically with requests) but i think that writing gn!reader is always the safest bet to go as to not make assumptions about readers! for writers i think that seeing this 19% is something important to take into consideration!

An outlier to me with this demographic was the “poly r-ship” poll garnering a notable 14% in comparison to the idol x idol option which got 10 less votes (4%). what is a little confusing to me about this is how poly r/ships often (but not always) contain idol x idol content, however there is discrepancy with the amount of readers outright saying that they enjoy reading it alone. I’ll get into poly fics later with the unpopular opinions section--however i wanted to plant the seed here hehe. One other caveat to this is the fact that on SSB i feel like idol x idol content is really in the minority and is much more present on a platform like AO3 so this could be another explaination!

What is kinda cute to me is the fact that readers do really like poly r-ship dynamics more than a threesome (as i defined it, “with less interaction”) so this makes me feel like we are all saps for the fluff that comes with poly r-ship fics ;)

Favorite Kind of Smut to Read

male idol smut (67%)

i read both! (female and male idol smut) (25%)

depends on my mood (7%)

female idol smut (1%)

~My thoughts: Again, this is super expected to me as well considering the above statistics. Since i am a skz blog (a boy group) --as are my moots-- it really makes sense that those who filled out this survey would be into male idol smut!

what was cool for me to see as well was the number of readers who also read female idol smut as well as male idol smut! personally, i more predominately a fan of boy groups compared to the amount of girl group content that I consume (note: i do also consume gg content). because of this, i think that its really up to personal preferences and the content that you consume that can be reflective of the smut content that you consume as well and ya know, whoever gets your hornies going ;)

Favorite Genres...Ranked!

*so this was my fault lol i totally formatted this question poorly in google forms so i’ll try to summarize the most popular rankings with my words haha

*bc of the way that i miffed it (lol) i wasn’t able to get exact measurements, but rough ones!

Top Five:

Smut, fluff, angst

smut n’ fluff (with specific emphasis angst is not desired)

smut, angst, fluff,

fluff, smut, angst,

angst, fluff, smut

~My thoughts: by far, the most popular ranking that i saw was as follows: smut, fluff, angst. i saw this sososos many times haha also...ya’ll got really creative with your rankings and it made me giggle hehe. So! seeing as this is stay smutblr haha makes total sense that the three most popular rankings that we have were lead by smut! since we’re here for the hornies, i totally get this.

as for the “smut n’ fluff” or “fluffy smut” category, there was a decent amount of readers that expressed that this mixture is their fave! i’m kinda looping this with the “mixture” option that i also provided for this question since this was the most popular mixture that i was able to observe along with angst + smut. interestingly, i saw a couple mentions of “hurt/comfort” fics with this question too so this went well with this preference. as for number three on this list, we dip into that smut + angst category that I just mentioned as well. there were several individuals who said that they really really enjoy reading smut with angst!

lastly we get to the four and five on the list: four being fluff, smut and angst. i think this category can also properly represent the folx who tend to like more fluffy fics over the smutty ones, but that can also have suggestive themes too! in five, we have angst, fluff and smut which also is representative of another theme that i saw: as far as plot goes, several people mentioned that they liked fics that start with angst, get fluffier, and then end up in smut, so i think that this could be easily compared!

*there were also several readers who simply said “all of them” or opted not to rank, (lol me) so this really shows the variability in results!

Cute stuff ya’ll said (kind of out of context too LOL)

“... hehE I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE.”

“...I KNOW IT [my ranking] LOOKS TERRIBLY SPECIFIC AND IM SO SORRY and I guess the better way to describe that was one that has all 3 with a happy ending lol my b my b.”

“ ...it just depends on the mood my dude.”

“... (the smut doesn’t have to be soft i just want the relationship to be soft and i want aftercare and general affection).”

“(but almost no angst oops)”

“angst honestly makes me so sad.”

“... but long fics with angst and slow burn smut/fluff is just WOW.”

“ my favourite thing is when it's fluffy smut tbh with a little bit of angsty backstory. that is *chefs kiss*”

“(I'm a sucker for good angsty fics but I cant seem to find them???)”

“Smut, Fluff, Angst (I tend to be a bit of a purist so no mixture here).”

“(i can't read pure angst lol) “

“(I love how much plot there is in angsty fics but I personally can't read anything without a happy ending, i just can't take it)”

“ i literally couldn't rank them bc my mood is always changing lmaooo.”

“ smut, fluff, angst. i know what i’m about.”

Favorite Length of Fics

Top Five:

5k-8k words (27%)

2k-4k words (25%)

1k-2k words (20%)

10k-20k words (15%)

20k words (12%)

~My thoughts: this one was super helpful for me to see!! and writers i hope that this is helpful for you too! as someone who tends to rambles (lol) it was very comforting for me to see that long-ish fics are actually preferred! what is really cool about this data too is that it is all super well balanced for the most part and nearly edqual in some parts! how i see this, i think that when it comes to preferences of length, its really reader specific so anyone could like anything! this goes into a little bit the slow burn question that i asked as well too, but it’s really cool to see that when readers do read, they kinda like something to sink their teeth into!

i wanted to look into how long it takes you to read these words, and it appears that on average, a 5-8k fic can take someone 30 mins to read whereas a 2-4k fic takes about 15mins! idk if this says something about attention spans, but as a writer it warms my heart to know that you’re willing to spend 30 minutes of your time reading something that i wrote! 🥺

another thing i wanted to bring up is the “hard and fast” smut readers--those who like to get straight to the point, get right to business and to the juice! they are also a decently large group too! as for readers who like a nice long fic or a chaptered fic, they are super close in numbers! from this, it’s safe for me to assume that maybe those who like reading longer fics are more inclined to strap in for the long haul with chaptered fics too!

Favorite AUs to Read

*the top category that got cut off (thank you google forms lol) is friends to lovers! the one that says “...love” at 48% is enemies to lovers, and the one that has a blanked out title at 35% is strangers to lovers!

Top Five:

friends to lovers (65%)

enemies to lovers (48%)

high school/college au (40%)

roommates/neighbors to lovers (38%)

strangers to lovers (35%)

Other AUs mentioned by you!

office au, royal au, vampire au, fake date, idol au, slice of life, boarding school au, childhood friends, soulmate au

~My thoughts: ok ok so this was RAD to see! i often wonder myself the kinds of aus that my readers would like to see so this was really helpful! circling back on how readers tend to favor fluff n’ smut (friends to lovers) and angst n’ smut (enemies to lovers) i think that we’re seeing some more themes here teehee.

i like to think that since most of us are of the college age, the college au is super relatable therefore we really like to read it! not to mention that college and high school au’s are super duper cute as well! this is also relatable to the roommates/neighbors to lovers category which is also relatable to us who may or may not have experienced having a roommate or crush on the cutie next door ;) as a couple readers mentioned, they liked more “slice of life” au’s--which both of these categories fall into! i think we as readers like scenarios that feel the most real to us, bc they are the easiest to insert ourselves into :)

fantasy and thriller, action, more “fiction” tropes are in the minority, however i think that this can be for the exact same reason as i mentioned above where readers like more relatable scenarios.

Opinions on Slow Burn Fics

~My thoughts: during polling of this category, this pie cart stayed basically the same the whole time!! that was pretty cute to see! the important take aways from this survey for me is the fact that slow burn fics are generally really loved! again, lol as someone who writes big ol’ long slow burn fics this made me feel a lot better hahaha basically, the general consensus is that slow burn fics are welcome most of the time, however some readers might need to invest a little more time into them! this is also very easily comparable to the above statistics on the length of fics preferred (longer ones being the ones more popular) so here’s a lil more supporting evidence!

3. Member Specific Analysis

Bias Survey

Top Five:

Chan (19%)

Changbin (18%)

Hyunjin (16%)

Jisung (15%)

Minho (14%)

~My thoughts: ok ok ok so this is where it starts getting JUICY hehe (also i apologize once more for making you pick LOL)

the reason why i asked this question was because i wanted to see if there was a correlation with biases and if there was a probability that members who had more people biasing them (or popularity I guess) were more likely to be read more in smut fics! AND I WAS RIGHT haha isn’t this so fkn cool??? (see more in the next section!)

for comparison, i went to kprofiles to see their little survey on bias popularity and their top five.

Kprofiles Top Five:

Hyunjin (15%)

Felix (14%)

Chan (12%)

Minho (11%)

Jisung (11%)

SO oh my god my nerd brain is loosing it over this REE so, what i should note that is those who took this survey on my blog are likely generally different based off of the fact that they are here to read smut specifically, rather than the general holistic popularity survey. It is for this reason that we see Felix much higher on this list and Changbin much lower too (as we know Felix is really well known generally and globally and there are *generally* fewer Bin biased fans). What was really interesting to see what that with Hyunjin, Chan, Jisung and Minho, they still all stayed within the top five! Soooo what i’m saying is.... all of you Hyunjin, Chan, Jisung and Minho fans really must like your smut 😏 and I think that it’s safe to assume that the majority of hard stans come from these four members too ooP (and of course our Binnie too! ;) i see all of ya’ll 👀)

Members That Get Our Hornies Going

~My thoughts: AHH DOESN’T THIS LOOK SO SATISFYING? I’M SO PROUD OF HER!!!

First off, i would like to acknowledge the all mighty power of Bang Christopher Chan for pooling this most hornies god DAMN while i kind of expected this, it is also evidenced in the fics that i write! recently i’ve been tracking the number of notes that my Chan hard thoughts get in comparison to other members and the differences are usually ASTRONOMICAL. He is most def the most popular member for smut for several different reasons, lowkey bc i think that it’s kind of part of his brand?? hahaha if ya know what i mean?

As for preference from Minho on, we can see a super obvious trend that as age order decreases, we get less and less interest for reading for the member. I’m fairly inclined to believe that this has to do with the fact that most often fans (especially fans older than skz) have a harder time seeing the younger members in a sexual way, so the lack of interest totally makes sense here! As referenced above too, we found that the oldest five members (Chan --> Jisung) are the favorites for smut reading which we can see here as well when the numbers really drop after Felix (Felix coming in at 6th place on my “popularity” survey).

Bc of these statistics, i do really feel like as a reader, i tend to see much, much more fics involving our top five! As for Seungmin and Jeongin, I’ve also seen people state that they do not read or write content for these two members bc they do not feel as comfortable, so this can also explain the lack of content. Also as we have heard many times, Jeongin is a bit of a hot topic lol within the SSB community, so this makes sense that his readership would be low as well.

4. Deep Dive into the Juicy Questions (aka confessions)

Is the fact that you read smut a seggsy secret?

~My thoughts: JUICE TIME JUICE TIME

Before I say anything, i wanted to tell you all how all of the juicy questions were totally optional, but i got 100% participation for every single one of them which if find HILARIOUS i guess you all are just as curious as i am?? ;)

So! for this question, we have an overwhelming amount of readers who said that only their closest friends know which is so cute to me! i love how we can trust our friends with this hehe. i also fall into this category bc like, it’s lowkey kinda fun to talk about? maybe also the fact that i run a smut acct makes me care a little less about it all hahah

secondly, we have the rather large group of people who said that they wouldn’t dare to tell anyone which is also sooo cute haha idk how to explain it but this was the category that i started out in too until i found the right people! But i totally get ya, reading smut--especially-- kpop smut-- can be embarrassing or cringey to share (not to mention that it is somewhat morally grey LOL) so this is really understandable!

also my fkn hats off to all of you who said that you didn’t care about who knows that you read smut. here, you dropped this: 👑 you’re much braver than i could ever be.

When you read smut, do you really feel the hornies?

~My thoughts: ok, so this one to me was also very interesting for me to see as well! (also if you get uncomfy reading about personal masturbation habits you can skip this one lol)

the reason why i asked this question was because i wanted to see if people “get off” by reading smut (whether reading it turns you on, or if you choose to use it for “material” to get off on however this might look, might be more of a mental simulation without any real like, physical getting off) candidly, I use smut to get myself off every once and a while, so i wanted to see who else might be in the same group! since becoming a writer however, i read much less and reading it doesn’t hit the same when i was just a reader bc i have a different perspective of being the one writing the smut so i look at it more analytically--i digress.

it was exciting (teehee get the pun?) for me to see that others also “get off” on smut too--and that they are the majority! teehee it is an honor for me to provide you with the hornies LOL. at the same time, we still have a large group in the “don’t take to seriously” category which was interesting to me too! i can’t speak for these readers, but i interpreted these kind of readers to be the kind who read smut to imagine the scenes and are like “hm, that’s hot, i like thinking about this.” but it doesn’t extend much outside of these thoughts.

What is the most popular position pairing we like to read?

*smaller slices of the pie represent multiple favorites which i also seperated back into the categories corresponding to get the best count into what was the most preferred.

Actual Breakdown:

dom!idol // sub!reader (51 votes)

switch!idol // switch!reader (32 votes)

subidol! // dom!reader (11 votes)

all of the above (5 votes)

depends on my mood (2 votes)

~My thoughts: i feel as if there is a bit of a conflict between which position really is “the best” and while we really can’t know the answer to this question since everyone has different preferences, we can at least find out which one is the most popular to be consumed!

again, going off of the content that I also see as a reader, i see TONS of dom!idol fics, like, left and right. also, if i may come for all of our necks, 👀 but...there’s really something to be said about the fact that the majority of readers are female and historically and socially, women are typically socialized to be submissive, so i can see why this would be why we would favor this among fics--this is even further evidenced by the fact that male idol smut is also preferred, thus further perpetuating the fact that women have been socialized to be submissive to men specifically. i’m not saying that this is the end all be all reason that this trend is present, but i merely offer it as a possible explaination. this is a much larger sociological conversation, but i think that this trend also showed itself in the types of smut that readers seek out as well--according to demographics.

sub!idol fics are few and far in-between, and i think that this can also be for the exact same reason as i talked about above!

When you read smut, do you pick faves to read for?

~My thoughts: what’s cool about this question is the fact that the “half and half” nature of it also resembles what we saw in the section for favorite members to read! As we see in that chart, 41 out of 100 people said that they read everyone, similar to this question where 48 out of 100 people said that they read for everyone. What this proves to me once more is that when it comes for reading fics, there's a 50/50 chance that the reader will look at, and read it based off of who it is about alone. This is a really powerful statistic, meaning that the members who that a writer might write for really dictates their readership! At the same time, it’s super comforting to know that regardless of what you as a writer might write, there’s always someone out there who is willing to read it! (as evidenced by the 52% of people who read for anyone! this is still a large number)

Readers: Do you only use Tumblr for smut?

~My thoughts: when i first started out reading smut, i was in the “i just look up skz smut” group LOL so i wanted to see again if there was anyone like me--which there is! This was more of my interest in seeing if some people view tumblr as “their smut dealer” AHA so that my initial motivation. I was surprised to see that this is not the case! out of 100 readers, 39 of them have their own non-smut blogs and the second largest group of 26 people use tumblr for smut exclusively.

idk why, but when thinking of this question, it really got me thinking back to the question where i asked if reading smut is a seggsy secret, and there was the group of people who said that it is for them--i’m assuming that these people might be part of the group have non-smut blogs and read on the side teehee.

at the same time, there is a combined 40 people who said that they use tumblr for smut purposes only which makes sense to me, as those who filled out my survey are readers of my smut blog if you catch my drift haha

Writers: Do you read smut, or just write it?

*56 responses correlate with those polled who identified as writers/both as mentioned above

~My thoughts: this survey is really really cute for me to see bc it means that there is a whole support network or writers out there reading, supporting and here to hype other writers work!! if anything, as a writer because it takes so much time to write, it can become hard to find time to read, hence the “when i have time option lollll (*cough cough* me LOL) thank you all for your honesty with this question!

5. General Thoughts and Conclusion

Survey on Exposure

~My thoughts: i kinda wanna close off this survey by getting on my soapbox for a sec lol. At least for me, the most common ways that readers found my blog were: looking up a tag, and from a repost. i think that this really goes to show the power of exposure and certain tactics that you can use to increate readership of your account! new readers, if you’re reading this and you’re just starting out, tagging your stuff is so so important!

also, as i have said and so so, many other content creators have said countless times before, reposting is so crucial and it takes little to no effort to repost a creators work so that it might reach others! as a writers, we spend hours, and i mean hours creating content, editing, drafting, creating headers all out own time to publish something that we are proud of and for you to enjoy! it means the world to authors when you reblog their work and even more when you give feedback too because this is our passion! we write for free in the middle of our busy lives so the validation makes it all worth it!!

Conclusion

~phew! so that’s it! once again, i wanted to thank you all from the bottom of my heart from participating in this lil study! i really hope that it is helpful to writers and readers alike! i wanna give ya all the biiiiiigest Ro huggies!! 💕💕

as i mentioned above, the answers for the unpopular opinions will be made into their own post bc there is a ton of them and i didn’t want to clutter up this doc lol

don’t ya ever forget that you are important, loved, and special! happy hornies my cuties ;)

~R 🌹

6. Cute shit that ya’ll said that made me giggle (and hopefully makes you giggle too)

~you all are the light of my life!! each of these comments brought me so much happiness and i love you all so fkn much for that!! also, to those of you who said, “Ro date me” PLZ haha i will date you too!!! too all of the super sweet comments about my writing, thank you so so very much and thank you for reading! it means so much to me!! to all of the i love yous, ahhhh i love you toooooo 💕

“I DUNNO IM BAD AT FUNNY STUFF BUT KNOCK KNOCK I GUESS? -whos there

-ro who

Me, in chan voice: RObber ducky you're the one

yeah...

yeah

bYE”

“ I didn’t know changbin’s thighs were of such importance until I saw your username but now?? 👀 I am looking respectfully.”

“ every time chan doesn’t reply to my bubble message i hold my breath and try to die💆‍♀️”

“ here are my favorite emoji combos: 😐☝️ 😫🖐️ 😂🤏 (i use that one when i get a dick pick and it's rlly small but the person thinks its big-) “

“ you are EVIL for making me choose just ONE bias OT8 EXISTS OK!?”

“ I hope this survey provides you with a lot of useful feedback! -sincerely a big tiddie committee member (you know the one)” [hehe yes i do hai M ;)]

“ chan’s tiddies... that’s it.”

“jeogiyo noona hokshi namjachingu isseoyo?“

“ Jeongin is appropriately baby bread because his face is puffy in the morning so it's kinda like yeast rising 👉👉 “

“ someone needs to tell hyunjin to put some vaseline or something on his cuticles like I love him a lot but his recent live made me scream sir your cuticles are hanging on for dear life please I'm literally begging you “

“ I squeal whenever I get a notification from you and my family think I’m secretly dating someone. It’s nice knowing that they think I can get someone during a pandemic 😁 “ [this one had me SENT]

“i hope ur dreams are blessed with skz thighs.”

“ HS Bin supremacy!!”

“Sta”

“Ro(ses) are red, violets are blue - DaVinci painted Mona, cause he couldn't find you :') “

“✨ dInG dOnG ✨ “

“You're doing God's work as a changbin stan xD “ [thank you so much aHA]

“damn gorl, are you a wifi signal? cause i’m tryna connect 🤔🥴✌🏾 “

“Good luck with your survey! I hope you get a big response! You know what else is big..?

Chan's feet. (I'm sorry, that was my attempt to make you giggle but I'm clearly not a comedian)”

“What's the internal temperature of a taun taun? Luke warm! (Haha sorry star wars joke) “

“egg“

“just because you’re garbage, doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. It’s called garbage can, not garbage cannot <3 “

“Soft-Dom Minho Agenda is the best agenda. I have spoken. Sincerely yours, Javi (@itsapapisongo) “ [this is the way javi]

“Bang chan daddy supremacy”

“ro, ro, ro your boat gently down skz’ dick hell yea.” [this also had me SENT]

“stay smut writers should take “maknae on top” literally“

“idk man i’m just vibing. hope ur day is going well. (changbin voice) da DA da”

Fin.

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses!

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @lunarskzzz @yourdaddychan @bubblelixie @spnobsessedmemes @chaangbin @lmhmins @eunaeiekim

#PHEW #haha this was so fun!!#binniesthighs helpdesk #skz smut #stray kids smut #kpop smut #bang chan smut #lee minho smut #changbin smut #hyunjin smut #han jisung smut #felix smut #seungmin smut #jeongin smut

54 notes · View notes

yurimother · 4 years

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LGBTQ Visual Novel Review - OshiRabu: Waifus Over Husbandos

If you are at all interested in Yuri or visual novels, you will have undoubtedly heard of OshiRabu: Waifus Over Husbandos. The Yuri rom-com was one of Steam’s top 20 February releases, and it hit the trending page on the platform. These accomplishments are incredible, and it is lovely to see both a visual novel and a Yuri game get so much love and recognition. However, whenever a title succeeds and manages to make an impact outside of the Yuri community, it always brings up a few questions. Mainly, does it deserve to be one of the few Yuri titles to obtain “mainstream success” and is it a positive ambassador for the genre, one which can further Yuri’s popularity and pull new consumers into it? These concerns boil down to one question, is it good? Usually, this inquiry is pretty quickly answered, with most elements of a product either being positive or negative. However, OshiRabu delivers more of a challenge. There are some fantastic parts to this game which I applaud and gush over, yet there are also several problems, both major and minor. The dichotomy between OshiRabu’s highs and lows is possibly the strongest I have ever seen in a Yuri title.

OshiRabu: Waifus Over Husbandos is the debut game of SukeraSomero, the new sister brand of the excellent Yuri studio, SukeraSparo. The plot follows Akuru Hayahoshi, an otaku with an obsession with her “husbandos” from gacha games and seriously bad luck. One day she bumps into a cute and bubbly student, Ren Furutachi. After Ren shows off her uncanny good luck to Akuru, a miscommunication sees Ren believing that Akuru confesses to her. For Ren, it is love at first sight, and she persistently negotiates her way into living with the older woman.

The rest of the game flits between comedic moments as Akuru and Ren live together. Examples include the girls shopping for a new bed, since Ren insists on sleeping next to Akuru, and Akuru creating boys’ love doujinshi with her friend Shino. There is, of course, a climax, which will not be spoiled in this review, and three possible endings, depending on two-player choices. An optional 18+ DLC expands on one of the endings and offers several explicit scenes.

There are some enjoyable aspects of this plot. For one, it is light and pleasant, never letting itself settle too much or grow stale. The situations are not hilarious but enjoyable and well suited to the with the characters’ personalities, and establishing several recurring themes and jokes, such as Shino teasing Ren and Ren accusing Akuru of cheating. There is an excessive amount of adorable fluff, which matches well with the overall tone of the game. These delightful moments cater to a variety of interests and fixations, so every reader is likely to find something they like. My personal favorite was a brief imagination sequence where Ren and Akuru have a child together, cute Yuri stories about women raising a kid are one of my weaknesses, and the reason Voltage’s Lovestruck has stolen hundreds of dollars from me.

The writing is also fantastic. The descriptive prose makes me laugh at the poor quality English translations we had a decade ago, and sometimes still unfortunately get. SukeraSomero deserves a great deal of praise for the simultaneous English, Japanese, and Chinese release. It is amazing that everyone got to experience this game together all over the world, without having to wait years for a possible license and translation. English translator Meru is one of the best in the business, and her work shines here. Her adaptation is amazing and fits the games’ modern setting and feel. I personally do not care for the amount of internet culture language included, such as Ren calling Akuru a “thot,” simply because such terminology tends to become dated quickly. However, I will defend the creative choices as accurate to Oguri Aya’s original story.

There is one more major compliment I have to give this game, and it is a big one. OshiRabu is extremely queer. While most Yuri titles exist as lesbian or lesbian adjacent content with little construction of LGBTQ identity, for example naming, displaying meaningful sexual and romantic relationships, or showing any aspect of queer culture, OshiRabu does all of these. I was floored when, early on in the story, Ren confesses to Akuru that she is a “lesbian.” The word lesbian is actually used directly in the visual novel, an unfortunate rarity for the Yuri genre. I even swapped the game into the original Japanese to confirm, and there again was the coming-out moment; the word “lesbian,” in all its glory, was planted right on the screen. This fantastic scene was not a one-off occurrence either.

Throughout OshiRabu, Ren continuously mentioned her homosexuality, which is usually juxtaposed by Akuru pondering her own sexuality, which she defines as an attraction to 2D men and nothing else. Although, her identity obviously changes because you know the women must end up together by the end. Some other excellent scenes feature queer representation. For example, at one point in the game, Akuru goes to a gay bookstore where another woman approaches her. When trying to explain that she is not interested, Akuru almost exclaims, “I’m normal,” a sentiment which she quickly realizes is hurtful and prejudice with some spectacular self-reflected narration. Moments like these offer nuanced and thoughtful presentations of LGBT culture and are the definite highlight of the game.

Sadly, not every aspect of the visual novel is as fantastic as these. In fact, many parts of it range from unfortunate to downright atrocious. First, the characters, while not awful or unlikeable, have some harmful qualities to them. Akuru is distant and introverted, which often leads to her being cold or even rude to Ren, which is never confronted or resolved. On her part, Ren is sadly the stereotypical aggressive lesbian, and frequently invades Akuru’s personal space, a topic which is again never reconciled. It is fine to have a character make problematic choices, but when their actions do not have consequences and conflicts have no resolution, it is a significant issue. The only character I unequivocally enjoyed was Shino, as she spends the whole game humorously teasing the two.

Speaking of conflicts, the final dramatic twist comes about as a result of Ren running away and refusing to communicate with Akuru. It turns out, minor spoilers, that she was testing her, which is a pathetic and ridiculous action which in real life can and should have serious repercussions or even end the partnership. Additionally, the topic of Akuru’s shared affection for Ren and her virtual husbandos, which is an immense source of stress for Ren, is not addressed in the base game, only the DLC. The extra content has its own set of problems too.

It is not uncommon for visual novels to include adult content in a separate patch so they can sell the base game on Steam. However, such adult patches are usually free, and OshiRabu’s is not, instead it sells for $4.99. This price is on top of the $24.99 base game, which means you are shelling out 30 dollars for the complete experience. An experience which, mind you. only clocks in at about 3 hours, hardly what I would call a value. It is an additional shame because the adult content is really well done. All the 18+ scenes, except for maybe the brief first one, showcase a tender loving relationship and skillfully written erotic content, although one or two metaphors did not land very well. However, not every player will want the 18+ content, and OshiRabu essentially forces them to play through it if they are going to see all the base game’s conflicts resolved.

There is also an unfortunate amount of service. While most of OshiRabu’s service is just sweet and cute moments between the characters, there is plenty of exploitative artwork designed to cater to specific players of a more perverted persuasion. Ren is usually the subject of such content, with shots featuring her panties and one extremely revealing cosplay outfit consisting of little more than two strips of cloth. Obviously, some players will enjoy these aspects of the game, but they did not work well for me, especially when I compared such clumsy service with the robust adult content.

However, this exploitative artwork, along with the rest of the game’s art, is phenomenally well crafted. Artist and character designer DSmile creates detailed and colorful illustrations that match the light comedic tone of the game. The adorable and vibrant artwork, drawn in a light watercolor style, makes my heart sing! There are also plenty of CG pieces, over 20, including the DLC, which adds six more. Given the games short length, this means you will see a new CG every ten minutes or so. The UI is also incredibly clean, easy to navigate, and blends well with the aesthetics of the art. My only complaint visually is that the sprites are entirely static. Except for different facial expressions and a few outfit changes, they are always the exact same, standing like flat mannequins against a backdrop. There is no animation or even alternative poses for them.

The voice acting is similarly high quality. Voice actors Nekomura Yuki, Kitaooji Yuki, and Waou Kirika all give fantastic performances in Japanese, and the quality of the recordings is consistently amazing. Even the adult scenes are voiced and showcase the range of talent present. The music is not nearly as good, but it does not intrude either. There are enough tracks to prevent the music from getting too dull, although the central theme and one of the tracks, “Let’s Go Out!” push this boundary a little far. Unfortunately, none of them are too memorable either, and I can guarantee that I will never be touching the BGM tab of the extras menu.

OshiRabu: Waifus Over Husbandos is a highly polished and visually impressive experience. The visual novel contains incredible artwork and is well constructed, showing the promise and talent of SukeraSparo. The stellar, although unfortunately necessary, adult DLC, and inclusion of LGBT themes are superb aspects that could have made playing this game a blast. However, a poorly constructed story, weak characters, and a high price tag compared to the amount of content offered severely detract from the game’s success. If you do not mind excessive service or are interested in lots of cute Yuri moments, pick this one up when it goes on sale.

Ratings: Story – 5 (6 with DLC) Characters – 4 Art – 9 Voice – 10 Music – 5 LGBTQ – 10 Sexual Content – 5 (9 with DLC) Final – 5

The visual novel is available on Steam and MangaGamer

#yuri #reviews #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq+#queer #gay #lesbian #visual novel #oshirabu #oshirabu: waifus over husbandos #girls love #gl #wlw #video games #gaming #game

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koko-bopp · 4 years

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Touchy-touchy

park seonghwa x male!reader

word count - 1.3K

genre - Fluff / Kinda suggestive

warning(s) - lots of gay panic, mentions of sex

synopsis - You didn't even realise but you had an obsession with touching Seonghwa's thighs, and unknowing to you, he'd become beyond flustered by your touchy behaviour.

You and Seonghwa had really only been together for three months.

What's there to do in three months?

Not gonna lie, you two were taking it kinda slow, just to see what temperatures the waters could get to.

It had started off with the barista at the cafe close to both your workplaces mixing up your order.

It confused you that there were genuinely psychopath who drink plain black coffee, why would someone do that to themselves? Willingly?

Then you found out that he doesn't drink coffee, or bitter things in general, and the only reason he step foot into a cafe that's known best for their coffee was because he lost a bet and needed to get a black coffee with no sweeteners. You couldn't help yourself to laughter when he was telling you that he'd probably die drinking it, and that he'd at least want your number before then.

A few days had passed and you'd eventually forgot about the handsome coffee-hater, you didn't think he'd actually call you.

Turns out he's a dancer; a dancer with a busy schedule.

A month later you had gone on many dates with this man;

One was at a theme park, it was a themed event so you two definitely took the time to dress up and enjoy yourselves. The date had you two exploring different cusines, shooting water into balloons, winning prizes, and going on a Ferris wheel; you'd made a joke about reenacting the Love, Simon scene, he was going to before chickening out last minute and kissing your cheek instead, it was cute, you didn't mind.

Another was going to see one movie but sneaking into another theatre to watch a second movie, you two were so tired after having sat down for three and a half hours in a dark four-walled room that it had taken all of your strength not to sleep on the train ride home.

He was a pleasure to be around, he really was, you two clicked beyond well and the company of the other was becoming a crave at some point.

"Do you.. wanna meet my roommates?"

Roomates?

"They're like brothers to me, and it would mean a lot to me if you met them," Seonghwa grinned and explained.

That's right, he was living with seven other people.

There were times where you two would be on the phone with each other, talking about whatever and then you'd hear a scream in the background followed by things falling to the ground.

Other times you and Seonghwa would go on a date, as you're enjoying the time with each other, his phone would chime and he'd ignore it, you wouldn't think anything of it until towards the end of the date when he actually checked his phone.

"Something happened?" You asked.

Seonghwa shakes his head, carefully putting his phone back into his pocket, "It's just the guys, I think they burnt the kitchen."

"You think?" You repeat, a chuckle leaving your lips.

Seonghwa laughed too, "They sent a video of the frying pan lit on fire to the group chat," He sighs, "It'll be fine."

However, you told Seonghwa that you'd be honoured to meet his friends, considering how close they are, you thought that he would consider it to be an important aspect in this relationship; to get along with his friends.

And you're at the centre of it now, sitting next to Seonghwa with a hot chocolate in your hand made by his friends. You're getting along best with Mingi, but not to say the rest of the boys aren't fun too.

"No way! You did that?" You turned to Seonghwa, placing a grip on his thigh; granted, he had placed his one leg in between both of yours while you two were sitting next to each other, his hand around your shoulder so he could be close to you but not uncomfortably close.

Seonghwa wasn't going to admit it until the topic came up, but your whole subconscious obsession with his thighs was definitely ego-filling, but also beyond the point of control.

At the Ferris wheel date you'd gripped his thigh out of excitement, which at first he didn't mind until you started squeezing it and Seonghwa, frankly, didn't want to get hard on a third date that was also in public, so took the courtesy to replace your grip on his thigh to holding his hand.

Oh my god, and at the movies. You're both queer, there's no sitting straight on chairs, but you who had gone to see a horror movie so at any given jump-scare your hand would fly to his thigh. The action happened so often at this particular date that it really took all his man power not to ask you to 'give him a hand'.

"Er, baby?" Seonghwa chuckled nervously, moving his leg so it was now directly next to his.

Hongjoong's eyes widen, "You guys are already at the nickname stage?"

Seonghwa ignored Hongjoong for that moment, his eyes on you as he gulped, "Could I just er, talk to you in the kitchen for a sec?"

You nodded, a bit concerned, as you worried that you may have said something wrong or done something that upset Seonghwa. You couldn't think of anything, but his request was making you nervous.

You two got up, making your way over the kitchen, away from earshot from his friends. Seonghwa turned to you, leaning against the stove as he looked at you, "Don't take this the wrong way. Please. I'm sure it just an accident but there's only so much of it I can bare before I, I don't know, go poof," he spoke.

You blinked, trying to think of what you could've possible done, "Was it something I said? If it was–"

Seonghwa shook his head, chuckling a little, "No, no, you're great to talk to and the guys love you, it's just," he paused, ready to sound ridiculous, "Could you... maybe avoid touching my thighs? It.. It really makes me flustered.."

You didn't know why, but a laugh couldn't stop itself from leaving your lips. You'd noticed Seonghwa's cheeks turning pink at the request, but you spoke before he could, "Oh my god, I really thought you were gonna tell me you didn't want to see me again."

His eyes shot up, and he shook his head immediately, "No! I like you way too much for that, it's just... I guess you accidentally made me realise I have a thing for thigh gripping and... I don't know," he mumbled towards the end, folding his arms over his chest as he looked away, pretty embarrassed.

This,,, was definitely a suprise to you.

You smirked softly, walking over to Seonghwa, closing the space between the two of you and placing your hands on his waist then carefully but slowly dragging them down to the place he was so embarrassed about, "You don't want me to do this?"

He stopped you from touching his thighs, holding your wrists to halt you going further down, a warning smirk of his own staring at you as he spoke, "Sweet Cheeks, I'd love you to if this was a convenient place for me to fuck you," he snickered at your surprised expression, never hearing him talk like this before.

You turned your wrists so you could place your hands in his instead, your face reading that you're still kinda shocked, "Damn, Seonghwa. We better be going to my place after this."

"Promise to keep your hands off my thighs in public?" He winked.

You nodded. Though definitely keeping the kink as a mental note.

#oof #this #well #fjdjfjisjdd #seonghwa #Seonghwa x male reader #x male reader #ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez seonghwa #park Seonghwa x male reader #male reader #ateez #park seonghwa

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tamiettitami · 3 years

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for this month's recommendations, i decided to go with the theme KISSES GALORE in honour of valentine's day. all of the below works have been posted in the month of february 2021 and hand selected by me <3

Sowing Discord by @chronologicalimplosion

A group of hyper-religious, homophobic protesters on campus ruins David's post-lunch good mood and he sends a half-joking message to the LGBTQ+ Discord server about staging a counterprotest. Constant lurker Patrick comes running.

Rated T for TEEN & UP AUDIENCES; 4,089 words; M/M; TAGGED for Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Original Characters, Alternative Universe, Alternative Universe - College/University, Homophobia, First Kiss, Epistolary, kind of

"This work features the inclusion of messages sent in Discord channels, a social media app I've never seen interrogated into a fanfiction piece before. The perfect balance of humour as well as tenderness makes this the ideal read to round out the month of love."

falling into place like dominos by @davidbrewer

Alexis spins the bottle and Stevie doesn’t know if she wants it to stop in front of her, or if she’s hoping it points literally anywhere else. She thinks she’ll figure it out when it stops moving, but… even with the neck of the bottle unmistakably pointing at her foot, she still can’t identify what the feeling is. Is that happiness or dread settling in the pit of her stomach? Since when do those completely different things feel exactly the same? If she’s being honest, though, it feels like a combination of things. It’s that feeling you get right before you do something you know you might regret later… like throwing back a jello shot (which she wishes she had done), calling an ex at 3am, or maybe jumping out of a plane.

David and Patrick hold a second housewarming party, this time at their newly-renovated cottage. For old times' sake, they decide to play spin the bottle. Meanwhile, Stevie has been wrestling with her feelings for Alexis since she left for New York... and it never occurred to her that those feelings could flow both ways.

Rated M for MATURE AUDIENCES; 4,897 words; F/F; TAGGED for Stevie Budd & Alexis Rose, Stevie Budd/Alexis Rose, Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Post-Canon, Lesbian Stevie Budd, First (Real) Kiss, Alcohol, Spin the Bottle, Queer Themes, Sexuality Crisis, (Although it's more of a frustrated confusing than a crisis tbh)

"The author's ability to voice every character (but specifically Alexis) will never fail to astound me; their inner voice for Stevie is the most notable in this work, however. Even the friendship/sibling dynamics between David and Alexis and as well as Stevie and Patrick are absolute perfection. One of the best 'Housewarming' codas I've ever endulged in and I can confidently says so."

Until I Lose My Breath by @the-kellephant

How could she have missed the fact that she was in love with Twyla?

Rated T for TEEN & UP AUDIENCES; 814 words; F/F; TAGGED for Stevie Budd/Twyla Sands, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Femslash February, Bisexual Stevie Budd, Lesbian Twyla Sands

"A lovely introspective piece about sapphic feelings and how they can often be blindsided by denial if not provided with the proper care or attention."

You can Stand Under my Umbrella by @agoodpersonrose

David thought the day couldn't possibly get any worse. But then it started to rain.

43. You both reach for the last umbrella in the store on a rainy day.

Rated T for TEEN & UP AUDIENCES; 2,721 words; M/M; TAGGED for Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Alternative Universe - Canon Divergence, Tumblr Prompt, Meet-Cute, First Kiss, First Meetings, Awkward Flirting, Kissing in the Rain, Umbrellas, Fluff and Humour, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Prompt Fill, One Shot

"I have nothing to say besides this is hands down the most cute way this prompt could've been filled and I applaud Becca for her ability to write such tender moments in a way underlined with laughs."

Ten Tender Kisses by @cheesecurdsgravyandfries

Ten drabbles featuring ten tender kisses.

Rated G for GENERAL AUDIENCES; 1,110 words; M/M; TAGGED for Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Fluff, tender kisses, Canon Compliant

"Reading this was pure joy. The happiness I felt from the first drabble continued to grow the longer I scrolled which is truly a beautiful feeling. Their banter is so perfectly in character and the dynamic the author has created between David and Patrick is a skill I envy."

I Didn't Know it was a Crush, David by squigmistress

David and Patrick arrive home after The Premiere and David wants to talk more about some of the wild stuff Patrick said when he was high on pain meds. What he doesn't expect is Patrick's big, gay feelings. But damn, does he love him for it. OR Patrick needs emotional safety to process some feelings and, of course, David is more than happy to hold him through it.

Rated T for TEEN & UP AUDIENCES; 1,548 words; M/M; TAGGED for Patrick Brewer/David Rose, david rose - Relationship, Queer Themes, Coming Out, Episode: s06e05 The Premiere, Coda, Feelings, Feelings Realisation, Gay, Canon Gay Character, Family Issues, Intimacy, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Anger

"Now, I've always been a sucker for introspective works, but this took it to a brand new level. It's such a fine needle to thread; however, the author does an astounding job at cataloguing the growth/development of Patrick's emotions."

Be your remedy by @jessx2231

Patrick closes his eyes and brings to mind all the times David has put on music while Patrick is engrossed in a book or his phone or even the occasional weekend work task. Eventually, David will slink into his space, just enough to rest his head in Patrick’s lap. He doesn’t always do so with the intent to fall asleep, but it’s usually not long before Patrick’s fingers involuntarily find their way into David’s hair — much like they are now — and David’s breath will even out for a while.

He can definitely make an abridged version of that happen.

Or, David can't sleep and Patrick helps.

Rated G for GENERAL AUDIENCES; Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings; 2,048 words; M/M; TAGGED for Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Fluff, Established Relationship, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Married Life, very mild descriptions of depressive symptoms, but really just some very soft sleepy boys

"A warm hug is the best way I can describe this. Also, I already knew I need a Patrick Brewer in my life, but this solidified that."

the paths that your eyes wander down by @anniemurphys apart of falling in love at a coffee shop by them, @thankstwy, and @landofsonlali

Written for the prompt: "Twyla and Alexis reunite in NYC."

Alexis finds Twyla at a tiny corner table.

Rated G for GENERAL AUDIENCES; 568 words; F/F; TAGGED for Alexis Rose/Twyla Sands, Post-Canon

"The absolute perfect romantic comedy moment paired with some of the most in-character Alexis dialogue I've seen in awhile, not to mention how beautifully the mutual pining is broken."

a sense of expectation hanging in the air by Anonymous (i'll add the author once reveals are out for the Season 7 collection !)

Stevie starts to realize she has feelings for Ruth. How long though, will it take for her to tell Ruth that?

Rated M for MATURE AUDIENCES; 6,548 words; F/F; TAGGED for Stevie Budd/Ruth Clancy, Stevie Budd & Alexis Rose & Twyla Sands, Stevie Budd & David Rose, Stevie Budd & Patrick Brewer, Alexis Rose/Twyla Sands, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Sharing a Bed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Making Out, Fluff, Texting, Female Friendship, Episode: s07e08 RMG, Workplace Relationship

"The support from Stevie's friends—Alexis, Twyla, David, and Patrick—is so incredibly lovely. Despite the secret crushes, Stevie and Ruth refuse to let anything get in the way of them getting together and it's such a wonderful thing to see them immediately all-in the relationship."

got a fistful of four leaf clovers by iphigenias

Two weeks before Christmas Alexis calls David.

“So I think I like someone,” she says.

Rated T for TEEN & UP AUDIENCES; 1,754 words; F/F; TAGGED for Post-Canon, Getting Together, Femslash February, home is a place AND a person!

"Alexis's slow burn of building feelings for Twyla melts my heart. That being said, the realistic depiction of the difficulties that come with change provides a certain depth to this story it needs."

#schitt's creek #schitts creek #david rose #patrick brewer #stevie budd #twyla sands #alexis rose #david x patrick #david & patrick #stevie x alexis #stevie & alexis #twyla x alexis #twyla & alexis #twylexis #fic recommendations #fanficiton #*lolrecs #schitt's creek fic #february roundup

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lanonima · 3 years

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First review of the new year! I also decided that once I hit twenty, I'll start a new graph because this one is getting pretty crowded. There's plenty of open space, but I'm not likely to read stuff in that open space so…

Anyway, my review of Copper Coins:

Romantic - Fucky is not how risque a work is but rather my opinion of the attitude/quality of the main relationship, the way the characters interact with respect to one another. I like a lot of stuff in fiction but if you’re easily made uncomfortable, stay towards the top half.

Easy reading - Plot-heavy is how I personally consider the plot’s intricacy and successful implementation, regardless of the author’s intention.

Copper Coins

Author: Mu Su Li

Quality: 5

Enjoyment: 4

Comments: Oof. I hate, absolutely hate, saying the phrase "show don't tell" about novels because it has to do with screenwriting and doesn't really apply to novels all that much but damn. This book was so surface level. I did not feel a single emotion the entire time. It actually reminded me a little bit of Nan Chan, and retroactively made me like that book better because I would definitely rather reread that than this. Not saying it's a bad book, I'm sure it's fine, and if you liked Nan Chan and want a relationship with a similar dynamic and are less of a bitch than I am, you will probably like this one too. It just doesn't have enough emotional depth to be entertaining to me.

Would I read it again: No, and I won't read anything else by this author either.

The reviews of things I previously read are below the cut.

Mo Dao Zu Shi

Author: MXTX

Quality: 9.5

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: I have a huge emotional connection to this novel. There are some weak parts, the tension isn’t quite even, she’s pretty terrible at erotic scenes and not great at fight scenes…but that being said, I love the characters and some of the plot points really ripped my heart out. This is a novel that’s really driven by the characters so if you’re a character-focused person like me, definitely look into it (as if we all don’t already know it lmao). I really, really love this story. Every single adaptation of it has also been great, but the novel is still my favorite. It was my introduction to xianxia novels too, so you can say it changed my life!

Would I read it again: I’ve already read it twice, and consumed every adaptation (sometimes also multiple times)

Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Author: MXTX

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 5

Comments: I’m not much of one for comedy and, as I discovered, not really into system novels either. Clearly weaker than MXTX’s later work, many of the characters are somewhat bland, she hasn’t quite found her groove yet. It’s not my style but the fandom is hilarious and the fans constantly produce content that I actually do find entertaining so overall I still have some fond feelings for this one, even if not for the source material.

Would I read it again: I found a different translation and am willing to try again in the future, I’m also willing to watch the donghua. But I can’t guarantee I’ll like it any more than previously.

Tian Guan Ci Fu

Author: MXTX

Quality: 10

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: I love this book…but not as much as I love Mo Dao Zu Shi. I think the plot is somewhat typical, however the characters are great once again (though maybe slightly less deep than MDZS), and her use of thematic repetition and foreshadowing are killer. Actually, I liked this book more the second time around because it just hits differently. Definitely the best of MXTX’s couples, they are so soft and sweet. Very long, but worth it.

Would I read it again: I already have, was personally translating the manhua before I hurt my arms, and am eagerly awaiting the donghua this fall!

The Villain’s White Lotus Halo

Author: A Big Roll of Toilet Paper

Quality: 10

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: Fuck, I love this one so much…..even though it’s also a system novel. But that part is in it so rarely that it reads more like pure fantasy. I love the characters, I love the plot, I love the way the relationship is developing. Oh yeah, the translation isn’t even complete but I already purchased not only the original from JJWXC but also the print edition. I’ve even drawn fanart for it, which is so unlike me. Every time a chapter comes out, I’m ruined for the rest of the day, I can’t think about anything else. Good fight scenes, which is uncommon. My favorite danmei novel so far.

Would I read it again: I fully intend to once the translation is complete, and also plan to read it in Chinese later (I’ve already read certain parts in Chinese hahaha but not the whole thing)

2Ha (Husky and his White Cat Shizun)

Author: Meatbun Doesn’t Eat Meat

Quality: 8

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: 2Ha is not for the faint of heart, it’s very horny, and violent, and has a lot of questionable content. However I love it so much. The story and characters are great, Meatbun really has me by the heart. The writing is a little more on the casual side but it hardly matters because the story is so great. Good fight scenes. Chu Wanning is like, the ultimate Me™ character, I hate how much I adore him. If you read this, just go into it knowing that it’s a long emotional journey, the characters are very dynamic and there’s a lot of character development.

Would I read it again: Same as the above, I plan a reread when the translation is done and have read parts in Chinese and might read the whole thing again later. Cautiously eager about the up-coming live action and donghua.

Di Wang Gong Lue

Author: Yu Xiao Lanshan

Quality: 2

Enjoyment: 9

Comments: This is one of the most terribly written things I’ve ever read, but I’m a character girl and the characters and ways they interact fucking kill me. I’m constantly entertained….although I don’t think this is actually supposed to be a comedy. If I were going to treat myself and like, take a bubble bath and read something that made me laugh, this is exactly the sort of trashy romance I would want to read. Technically a political intrigue story but it’s so abrupt and full of holes, are any of us reading it for the actual plot? The donghua is on Youtube, I watched it first and recommend others to do the same. If you can handle that, you can handle the book because it’s exactly the same in quality, just gayer. I do love the main couple a lot, the set-up surrounding the relationship is great, and the side characters are also really fun.

Would I read it again: Probably not, but I’m still having fun with it. I watched the donghua and read a bit of the manhua as well, which has very cute art and is probably my favorite version of the story.

Liu Yao

Author: Priest

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 7.5

Comments: I really struggled getting into this one, it took me about 25 chapters to get invested. Initially I had rated it a 6 in enjoyment but after careful thought, I realized that even though it was so hard for me, it probably is my favorite Priest novel and I really do love the main couple so much. Her side characters also seem to be slightly stronger than usual in this one. Decent plot, not too much or too little. It seems really chill to me, doesn’t provoke much of an emotional reaction but I do think it’s very sweet, which is nice sometimes too.

Would I read it again: No, but I think (?) it’s supposed to get some kind of tv adaptation (drama or donghua, not sure), and if that happens, I’ll watch it.

Didn’t Know the General was Female

Author: Rong Qing

Quality: 4

Enjoyment: 6

Comments: Not the greatest thing I’ve ever read, but cute. It’s short, and a little lesbian fluff is never a bad thing. Writing is a bit weak and the plot is basic, but the characters are enjoyable and I liked it overall.

Would I read it again: No.

Wrong Way to a Demon Sect Leader

Author: Yi Zhi Dayan

Quality: 4

Enjoyment: 7

Comments: Again, not the greatest in writing or plot, it’s a bit shallow. But I found the idea of it to be entertaining, and actually liked it more than I would have assumed. It’s fairly short and cute, like a good summer beach read.

Would I read it again: Probably not, but possibly, if the stars align.

Female General and Eldest Princess

Author: Please Don’t Laugh

Quality: 7

Enjoyment: 6

Comments: A very good first effort, but the writing is a bit weak. It’s slow to start and I don’t think the political plotline is spectacularly strong. Some things were left unexplained, and her sense of battle tactics and fight-writing were very confusing, definitely room for improvement. I don’t think it’s as good as people say, but she writes with the air of someone who will continue to improve. And also, a lesbian author writing lesbian stories so that’s a plus. Overall I enjoyed the experience, this story is definitely worth a read.

Would I read it again: Maybe, but probably not.

Sha Po Lang

Author: Priest

Quality: 7

Enjoyment: 7

Comments: Originally I rated this one higher, but on later thought I realized that I actually enjoyed Liu Yao more. I personally have issues with the way Priest writes, and this book showed a lot of them. Characters were okay, I did like the main couple, but side characters were weak as usual. The plot is pretty good, though not great, and I think some of the pacing is off. Some descriptions were confusing, but that could be a translation issue. Overall, still a pretty good political drama, but I would say that of the three I read, this was the Priest novel with the least impact on me.

Would I read it again: No. But I will watch the live action if it ever gets made.

Guardian

Author: Priest

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 5

Comments: I love Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan, thought the plot was interesting, and there were some enjoyable moments. But it has all the problems I usually have with Priest in addition to some choices that offend me as a queer reader. I spent about 75% of the time reading while pissed off. And actually the fact that it had a happy ending kinda bummed me out because I love a good tragedy. Overall, I can only give it an average score. If you like Priest, you’ll like this one too. I’m not a tv person but I binged the hell out of the live action, I really loved it, so I was sort of disappointed that the source material didn’t seem as strong as I had assumed.

Would I read it again: No, but I will happily watch the live action again some day.

Jing Wei Qing Shang

Author: Please Don’t Laugh

Quality: 9.8

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: I have to start off by saying: damn girl. The improvement evident in this book is absolutely insane. A few minor issues prevent me from giving it a 10 out of 10 – her transitions are still extremely abrupt, the ending is slightly weak and some plot points remain unresolved, and her use of narrative repetition is too heavy-handed for my taste. Other than that, this book leaves me almost speechless. Very similar to Female General and Eldest Princess, there are many similar themes and events. But while I thought FGEP was fairly cute, I like this one way better. If you like angst, political intrigue, and lesbians, you should definitely read this book. I have no doubt that Please Don’t Laugh will continue to improve in the future, and I really look forward to following her career.

Would I read it again: 100%, I absolutely intend to read this again sometime in the future. It’s very long and very dense but delightful and ultimately worth it.

Fox Demon Cultivation Manual

Author: Feng Ge Qie Xing

Quality: 8

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: This was a delightful romp. I had expected it to be somewhat silly and was pleasantly surprised. It was heavy enough to be engaging but light enough to be an easy read, with multiple spots that made me literally laugh out loud which does not happen often. This is apparently just one book in a series of same universe novels, and a lighter-hearted one at that. I would be interested to read the others because I found the world pretty engaging, and I do want to know what became of the other characters. Overall I found it very fun and very cute, I read it in four days so that says something. On the downside, the link for chapter 9 is broken. But skipping a chapter doesn’t seem to have affected the experience of the novel as a whole.

Would I read it again: Yeah I think I would be willing to read this again someday. If it gets adapted I would also consume adaptations, in addition to being interested in the other connected works.

Golden Stage

Author: Cang Wu Bin Bai

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 7

Comments: This one has some Sha Po Lang vibes, but the characters have more depth and chemistry. The word ‘more’ here is extremely relative because it’s still pretty shallow. I honestly liked them both, I liked the relationship and the psuedo-rude way that they flirt entertained me. As for the plot…ehhhh. It tried. There were things that worked, but in general the plot seemed disjointed from the characters and there were a few things that had no business being there and just muddied the waters. It’s not bad necessarily, it’s just not very smooth. There are better political intrigues to read if that’s what you want. But if you just want some sugar-sweet fluff with a backdrop of drama, then this one is perfect. My favorite scene was probably the flashback to the first few times they met, absolutely fantastic.

Would I read it again: Nah.

Nan Chan

Author: Tang Jiuqing

Quality: 8

Enjoyment: 6

Comments: This one is kind of weird because it’s definitely competent, it’s well-written and has a fairly in-depth plot, but I just didn’t really enjoy it all that much? I never got emotionally attached to any of the characters, and I didn’t even really get the relationship buildup. I understand what the author is going for with it of course, but it didn’t necessarily make a lot of sense… Or rather it seems like some bits in the middle were just missing, there’s good buildup in the beginning and in the end but how they got from point A to point B was kind of not explored to my satisfaction. I did really like the flashback to the past, I thought that storyline was all pretty interesting. The big bad was kind of disappointing to me as well though. In general, I think this is a really good book with a lot of skill behind it but it’s just not really my thing.

Would I read it again: No.

#book reviews #Copper Coins #lano reads danmei #lano reads baihe

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mageicalwishes · 3 years

Text

Read on AO3: Here

Rating: Teen & Up

Chapter: 1/? (More chapters to come a little later in Dec + Early Jan!)

Summary: A loose crossover between Carry On and parts of I'll Give You The Sun. "He’s haloed under the streetlights, and I’m trying not to stare. But, it’s hard. His face is celestial - The sunshine of his soul peeking through his features. I want to say more, just so that he doesn’t leave. Our houses are right there but, I feel so ... multicoloured."

Carry On Countdown, Day 10 - Crossover @carryon-countdown

Tags: Fluff, Getting Together, Meet-Cute, Social Anxiety, Crossover, Pining Baz, Artist Baz, Space Enthusiast Simon, Star Gazing, Anxious Thoughts, Carry On Countdown 2020 Day 10

Words: 2,145

Baz

I need to stop thinking about grey, slippery roads and black shrouds. About the purple under my Father’s dull eyes, and the red of my Aunt’s anger. I need to stop thinking about me - About my life. My head is too loud. Too noxious. I need someone else to take my mind for a while. I need to see. To paint. And so, I search for a subject.

Dragging my binoculars across the bleak, colourless houses, I search, desperately, for even a glimpse of a hue. But the colours are slipping from the world again. They always do when I’m trapped in my head.

And then I see them - The movers - so far from colourless that I’m dizzied. They’re great work horses, both of them - One chestnut, and one palomino - Hulking a grandfather clock up the house-next-door’s stairs. I’m zooming in, before I have time to reconsider - Into the stretch of navy against the flex of their arms, the rose flush of their foreheads, the tan swath of smooth stomach revealed each time they lift their arms. And then ... Shit.

I drop the binoculars onto the floor, my body following swiftly behind them. Because, on the roof of the house, there’s a boy pointing a telescope directly at me. Fucking Hell. How long has he even been there?

I risk a glance over the top of my windowsill. He’s wearing a tatty purple jumper, and there’s a mess of bronze curls tangled atop his head. Even without the binoculars, I can see that he’s grinning at me. Is he laughing at me, already? Does he know what I was doing? That I was watching the movers? Does he think that I’m ...? He must. Why else would I be ogling them. God. I feel the dread pinching at my throat, and try to tether my mind, so that it doesn’t get away from me again. Maybe he’s just a smiley person. Maybe he thinks I was looking at his clock. That’s equally as plausible, surely? And, I mean, he has a telescope. Dickheads don’t tend to have telescopes, do they?

Tugging at the ends of my hair, I stand. When he sees me he waves, but before I have a chance to reciprocate, he’s reaching into his pocket, drawing his arms backwards, and lobbing something straight at me. (Maybe he is a dickhead, after all).

On reflex, I stick out my hand. The unknown object slapping hard against my skin, as I close my fingers around it.

“Nice catch!” He yells. His voice deep and bright, with a definite Northern tinge. I decide that I like it. It suits him.

But, I don’t know what to say back. So, I don’t. Instead, I examine his potentially dangerous ‘gift’ - Spinning the rock around in the palm of my hand. It’s small (About the size of a pound coin) and covered in irregular lightening-like cracks. What am I supposed to do with it? Do I throw it back? Why did he even throw it at me, in the first place? I don’t know, but I slip it into my back pocket for safe-keeping, anyway.

When I look back at him, hoping for some kind of explanation, he’s turned himself back towards the sky. Too focused on looking through his telescope to notice me. Which, to be honest, is odd. I mean, it’s daytime. What could he possibly be looking at?

Even though I’m curious, I don’t stick around to find out. I’m worryingly off-kilter, and I need to rebalance. I hadn’t prepared myself for meeting a new person. I wasn’t ready. And so, I run to the place that I know best, to recuperate - The Art Institute. Where I can carry out further recon on the studio.

-------------------

It was a good, productive sketch session. Nobody caught me peeping through the window, and I was able to get a few decent body references down. But … I don’t feel my usual post-art calm. My mind is still racing (Although, with a different genre of thought than earlier).

Every over time I have visited, the models have been women. Posing demurely, with a bowl of fruit or silks. Arms placed, to partially protect their modesty. I’m used to that. I’m prepared for that. But today … it was a bloke.

I don’t have a problem with that (Not really). There’s nothing wrong with blokes. And there’s nothing wrong with naked blokes, either. I’m mature enough to handle that. A body is a body. A sketch is a sketch. And I’m an artist first, queer person second. I just … hadn’t expected it. And I don’t like to be caught off guard. So, I’m feeling slightly rattled. I just need to get home, and get back to normality. To safe things - Like a beach scene, or a self-portrait. Familiar things. No more surprises.

And yet, a few steps into my walk back home, I see the guy from the roof leaning against a nearby tree, the same lopsided-grin aimed over at me. I blink, confirming his existence, and then he’s talking. Stood, barely 3 metres in front of me, in the dirt.

“How was class?”

He says it like it isn’t the strangest thing in the world that he’s here, with me, where he really has no reason to be. Like it isn’t only just slightly beaten in its absurdity by me, sketching propped-up on a wall outside, rather than inside, the studio. Like we aren’t complete strangers (Because, no matter how much he may be smiling at me, we don’t even know each other's names yet).

‘Yeah, sorry, I kinda’ followed you. I wanted to check out the woods, but I wasn’t sure of the way. So … I just tagged along. Figured you wouldn’t mind. Don’t worry though, I wasn’t watching you the whole time. I was busy with my own stuff.”

He points to an open suitcase filled to the brim with ... rocks? As if that’s normal.

“My meteorite bag’s all packed.”

I nod like that explains something, but it really doesn’t. Meteorites? I thought those were in the sky, not on the ground. And what does that even mean? He just carries around pieces of infinity. For what?

I look at him more closely, studying his face for any sign of disingenuity. For any sign that he’s just having me on. But I find nothing. Nothing … bad, anyway. Just a deep dimple accompanying his crooked smile, and miles of tawny skin, speckled with moles. He exists in shades of orange and gold. He’s the sun. And I can’t look away.

“Stare much?”

I drop my gaze, embarrassed - Staring down at his scuffed Nikes, as my neck prickles with heat. I don’t talk. What am I even supposed to say to that? Yes?

“Well ... you’re probably just used to it from staring at that bloke for so long. You know … for your drawing.” I look up - Grey meeting blue. He’s eyeing my pad curiously. “He was naked?” He breathes in as he says it, like the words stole his oxygen. It makes my stomach plummet, but I try to keep my face calm. I think about him watching me, watching the movers. How he watched me, watching the model. He must know. And ... I don’t know how I feel about that, just yet.

He looks down at my pad again. I don’t understand why. Does he want me to show him the drawings of the model bloke? It seems like he does. And some disturbed part of me wants to. But I doubt it. ‘Hey stranger, wanna’ see how I draw dicks?’ said no sane person ever. My stomach twists tight, and I’m out of control - My brain hazy amongst the moment’s tension.

“Look, man,” he sighs, half-smiling as he scrubs at the back of his neck. “I legit’ have no idea how to get home. I tried, but I just ended up back here. I’ve been waiting for you to lead the way. You don’t mind do you?”

I don’t think I mind. Do I? I don’t know. I shake my head, anyway, and point him in the right direction.

-------------------

It’s a long way home, and we walk the majority of it in silence (Well, near-silence. The bumping of his suitcase creating a constant accompaniment to our steps). I try and resist the urge to look back at him. The urge to ask him all of my ‘Why?’s - Why did you follow me? Why are you still following me? Why are you collecting meteorites? Why were you looking at the stars in daylight? Why were you looking at me in the daylight? It would only make me more muddled. So, rather than relent, I take out my invisible brushes and start to paint behind my eyes.

And, after a while, I feel myself settling back into my skin. The dancing trees and setting sun relaxing me, in spite of the moment’s unsteadiness. Or ... maybe it was him. He’s an alarmingly relaxed person (I mean, I don’t know anybody else who would just follow a stranger around, with zero self-consciousness), so it wouldn’t surprise me if he had some sort of ‘Realm of Calm’ thing going on around him.

When we emerge from the woods, returning to our familiar concrete-laden pavements, he spins around and jumps in front of me. Ecstatic.

“Holy shit! That is like ... the longest I’ve ever gone without talking in my life! I was holding my breath just trying to keep the words in. How do you even do that? Are you always like this?”

He’s a mile a minute, and I’m lagging behind.

“Like what?”

And then he’s laughing at me. I can tell that he’s a person who laughs a lot, from the way he lets it take him over so easily - His whole being lightening up, as the sides of his eyes crinkle, joyfully. But it’s alright, I don’t mind. It’s not a mean laugh. It just makes me feel a little bit fizzy inside (In a good way. I think).

“Dude! Are you kidding? You do know those are the first words you’ve said all day, right?”

I didn’t, actually. But I don’t tell him that. He’d probably just think that I’m more strange than he, no doubt, already does.

He’s properly cracking up now (Although, I don’t know what, exactly, I did that was quite so funny). “And then you’re all just like ‘What?’”. </p>

He makes an absolutely atrocious attempt at imitating my accent (Which leaves him sounding like some kind of drunken Prince Charles impersonator), and before I can stop it, I’m laughing outright, alongside him. Both of us hunched-over cackling, wholeheartedly, probably looking more than a little mad.

Once we’ve calmed down, he starts staring at my pad again. Jesus Christ. I really wish he wouldn’t. I’m not going to show him my sketches. Not even if he begs. I’d never survive the embarrassment.

“So ... lemme’ guess. You do most of your talking in there?” He points down at my pad, and I feel the tips of my ears flood scarlet.

“Yeah. Something like that.” My voice comes out mumbled and gruff. I didn’t mean for it to. He probably thinks I did it on purpose, though.

He’s haloed under the streetlights, and I’m trying not to stare. But, it’s hard. His face is celestial - The sunshine of his soul peeking through his features. I want to say more, just so that he doesn’t leave. Our houses are right there but, I feel so ... multicoloured.

“I paint in my head sometimes,” I blurt. Dumb. So unbelievably dumb. “That’s why I was so quiet, I was painting.”

“Oh that’s cool. Saves paper, I suppose. Better for the trees, and that.” Stalling. He’s stalling. I’ve made it weird. I always make it weird. “So ... were you painting anything specific?”

“You.” Oh, fucking hell! I’ve ruined it - I’ve smeared on that last glob of un-erasable acrylic and ruined the painting. I shouldn’t have said it. I didn’t even mean to say it, it just ... popped out. And now he’s stood, gawping, eyes wide and face flushed. I’ve embarrassed him. I’ve gone and dumped all my greedy keenness on him, completely uninvited, and now he’s drowning in it.

Everything feels tight. The air, suddenly too humid to swallow. I’m gasping - Waves of breath crashing, loudly, in my ears. Panic. I’m panicking. I need to - I have to go.

So, for the second time today, I run. Spinning on my heels and darting back towards my house, without as much as a ‘Goodbye”. Away from him. Away from humiliation. Back to my room, where I pull the blinds shut and open up my pad - Briskly skipping over today’s work. A blank page. A fresh start. I really am no good at talking the normal way.

#carry on #carry on countdown #coc 2020 #simon snow #baz pitch #snowbaz #my fic #my writing

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angelinarecs · 4 years

Text

Updated Pacific Rim Recs

Organized by pairing (or gen) and then alphabetized by title. Summaries (which have been copied from their respective stories) and descriptions are provided. Notation at the end of the description indicates if a story is completed or a WIP.

Gen

Take Up Your Spade and Break Ground - Tendo Choi is a 911 dispatcher because it pays well and because he’s damn good at it. He doesn’t take the job with the expectation of finding a family – but sometimes the people who call end up up meaning a hell of a lot, and Tendo’s never been one to stay detached. Friendship/Family. Tendo POV, very well written and the plot is original. A great AU overall. I really loved following Tendo and his relationships to the Shatterdome people through his work at 911. One-shot.

Hermann, Newton Friendship

All the Colors of the Rainbow - The first thing Newt noticed about Hermann was that he was a neat freak. Well. Okay. Maybe not a neat freak. Maybe just an ordinarily-neat person who didn’t like kaiju guts in his work space. Sharing a lab was going to be a challenge … Drama. Am I reccing this because Newt is autistic? Yes, yes I am. Also, these drabbles do wonders at showing the day-to-day struggles of Newton and Hermann sharing a lab. One-shot.

Hush Now - Hermann is upset and Newt tries to cheer him up. It either goes horribly wrong or horribly right- he’s not sure. Hurt/Comfort. Hermann gets an unfortunate phone call from his father and Newt is there to pick up the pieces. Drabble length, but still sweet. One-shot.

Not Unwelcome - Set directly after the events of the movie. Hermann leaves the celebrations to give himself some space, away from the loud people clapping him on the back, away from the happily drunken crowd, and, maybe, a bit of space away from Newt. Naturally, the moment he disappears, Newt goes after him. Minor angst ensues. Friendship/Angst. Cute, fluffly, indulgent, everything you want out of a feel-good story. An enjoyable read. One-shot.

Tröstung - When Hermann is three years old, his mother gives him a stuffed lamb. Angst/Friendship. Following Hermann through the years in his interactions with his comfort object (an adorable sheep names Oskar). The premise and structure of the story really does a nice job at providing snapshots in Hermann’s life and development as he grows into the brilliant scientist he is. The story also provides a brief insight into Hermann and Newt’s relationship. One-shot.

Hermann/Newton

a ghost will be here in my stead - Hermann is feeling under the weather. Hurt/Comfort/Fluff. Post Uprising. Hermann falls ill after pushing himself too far to save Newton from the Precursors. Newton picks up the pieces. One-shot.

A Hand That Hold No Weapon - On their way back to the Hong Kong Shatterdome, Newton helps Gottlieb adjust to the after effects of drifting together. Drama/Hurt/Comfort. A much needed story after Hermann and Newton drift. Fun story, okay writing. One-shot.

A Momentary Lapse of Reason - It’s Newton’s fault, really. That Hermann is stuck on the floor of the Kwoon, feeling more than a bit useless and broken. Fluff/Hurt/Comfort. Hermann pushes himself too hard trying to physically work out his self-loathing. Newton is there to pick up the pieces. One-shot.

A Not so Simple Cold - Herman is sick. Really sick. He, however, is choosing to ignore how sick he is which Newton does not agree with. Fighting ensues but some realizations about their feelings for one another also come to a head. Fluff. One of those sickfics that’s not particularly original nor well written, but definitely scratched the hurt/comfort itch when needed. One-shot.

A Warm and Gentle Tug - Hermann has a fear of having his blood drawn due to the fact that he always passes out or gets sick while it happens. This time around however, Hermann takes Newt along with him to his appointment to help ease him. Hurt/Comfort. Not the best writing here, but the relationship is fun. Mainly reccing because I have the exact same problem getting my blood drawn. One-shot.

Battered and Bruised - When Hermann comes to Newt’s defense, it doesn’t end well. Hurt/Comfort. Short and somewhat sweet. Newton and Hermann try to fix each other up after getting into a fight at a bar. One-shot.

Blue All Over - The worst one was recorded on a cold dreary day in the autumn of 2021. Hurt/Comfort. One of their many, and possible one of their worst, lab accidents. Herman is a self sacrificing idiot and Newton is at least fast on his feet. One-shot.

Collision - A kiss gone wrong. Romance/Humor. Hermann and Newton being dorky and clumsy. Cute, but short, story. One-shot.

Dehydration Sensation - Hermann doesn’t handle heat well. Hurt/Comfort. Hermann doesn’t take care of himself in the middle of a heat wave and Newt once again has to pick up the pieces. Including obstinate, delirious, and dissaproving Hermann alongside exasperated Newton! One-shot.

Homeostasis - The K-science laboratory stands on its own plane of existence; life within its concrete walls runs in parallel to life in the bigger world of the Hong Kong Shatterdome. Yet even here the laws of physics apply. Whenever Hermann’s body isn’t failing him, Newton’s mind is on the verge of breaking. Hurt/Comfort. The scientists have a rough day in the lab. I really enjoyed the contrast of the mental and physical given that each Hermann and Newt suffer from their own handicaps. Seeing the ailments as both a foil and a complement to each other was a very compelling look into their relationship. One-shot.

Incessant - Hermann’s physical limitations frustrate him to tears. Angst. Newton tries to help Hermann after a fall, Hermann is frustrated that his body won’t cooperate with anything. Poor Newt has to make this situation at least bearable for both of them. The selling points for this story is mostly domestic science boyfriends and an accurate depiction of the frustrations that come with being disabled/handicapped. One-shot.

Keep Your Mouth Shut, Keep Your Guard Up - Hercules Hansen does not understand why Hermann won’t just tell him why he got in a fight with the new J-Tech. It’s obvious who came out worse for wear. Hurt/Comfort/Romance. Hermann just wants to protect Newton, they just keep getting into trouble. So wonderfully in character. I love these two. One-shot.

Laundry Day - “I must have almost popped the question a hundred times, but the timing never seemed…right, you know?” “And you decided nearly killing me in the middle of laundromat was the Platonic ideal of romance, did you?” Aka the one where Hermann launders Newt’s jacket and finds rather more than he bargained for. Hermann/Newt. Romance/Humor. This story is just so cute. I love how the everyday interaction between Newt and Hermann turns into such a touching/adorable moment. One-shot.

Oh, They’re Gonna Have to Fight Me - The Drift makes them realize they belong together. Now that they cancelled the apocalypse, there’s nothing left for them to do but live out their lives in happiness. That is, until Hermann realizes there’s more to the nightmares that Newt keeps having. (In which they don’t spend those ten years apart, and Hermann is there to figure it out and save Newt when the Precursors start taking over him.) Fluff/Angst. They win the war, get married, and live happily ever after until they don’t. If you were anything like me, the sequel really disappointed on the whole “haven’t seen you in ten years” bit. This is the fix-it that we needed for our science husbands as Hermann has to navigate his relationship with Newt while realizing exactly how compromised his husband truly is. Complete.

Pride - Newmann oneshot. Newt takes Hermann on a date to his first LGBT parade- fluff through and through, except for a little reference to acephobia. Romance/Friendship. Am I reccing this entirely because Hermann is asexual? Yes, yes I am. Also features cute relationships, Newton coming up with a bunch of “queer” orientated pet names for Hermann, and some good points about sexuality. One-shot.

Somewhere, Something - Newt and Hermann start dating in the rush of change the end of war brings. Each of them is frightened that the other doesn’t realize what he’s in for. Hurt/Comfort/Angst. The science boyfriends help each other out as they grow closer in their relationship. I really appreciate the take on both mental and physical health issues. Two-shot, complete.

strange perceptions - The most essential question to pose, obviously, is why is Hermann presently finding himself contained in a shut-down emergency decontamination unit with only his lab partner as company, having forgone not only the process of actual decontamination but also the process of being noticed by anyone at all. The answer is frustratingly straightforward: because Newton. Angst/Hurt/Comfort. In which feelings are shared and realizations come to. I really love the dialogue, character introspection, and use of flashbacks in this story. I also love the fact that it literally took getting stuck together and completely helpless to force them into a conversation about feelings. One-shot.

Strong Enough - the Precursor in captivity, nobody knows exactly how to get Newt back to his old self, if that’s even possible. But Newt was always stubborn, and damn if Hermann would ever give up on him, or, worse yet, let him give up on himself. Emotional Hurt/Comfort/Angst. Hermann is going to get his husband back, even if he has to fight the entire Shatterdome, the alien possessing his love, and his own nightmares to do it. Another precursor!Newt fix-it, but we need all of those that we can get because I want my science husbands to end up happy. One-shot.

Taken Care Of - Newt helps out Hermann when he’s having a bad day. Hurt/Comfort. A short and fluffy slice of life story that follows the companionship of Newt and Hermann through a rough day. One-shot.

The Ghost and Dr. Priestly - Newt is pulling an all-nighter in the university library studying for a chemistry test, when he begins to hear strange sounds. Good news: it’s not a ghost. Bad news: he only finds out after giving his lab partner, Hermann, a mild concussion. Drama/Romance/Hurt/Comfort. Newt is an unbelievable idiot and poor Hermann suffers the consequences. Or, Hermann is concussed and is probably not thinking properly, but he still kisses Newt even after the daft man nearly brained him with a book. One-shot.

Tricks and Treats - Seven fics for the seven days of Gottbleed week (Oct. 5th-11 2015). Each story: 1. Is Gottbleed 2. Fulfills an OTP prompt from tumblr 3. Is newmann and 4. Is Halloween related. Trick or treating, costumes, haunted houses, ghosts, too much candy - and much more! Cute, funny, with a side of seriousness. Humor/Drama. Hermann and Newton make such a fun couple and these somewhat Halloween themed shorts perfectly show off their characters. Complete.

You and Your Dog Teeth - Desperate to find ends and solutions, Hermann wears himself out to exhaustion looking for answers, especially his already lame leg. Being around as his usual working late night companion, it’s up to Newt to help take Dr. Gottlieb home. What seemed entirely like a normal night only ends with two scientists realizing there’s a lot more between them than they thought. Angst/Humor. Such a fun story, this has a good balance between emotional tension and moments of hilarity that only the K-science boys can fully pull off. The awkward approach to romance in this story works very well for the characters and give an authentic feel to the whole thing. Two-shot, complete.

You Know I Love You: I Wrote It Down - Drs. Geiszler and Gottlieb’s relationship goes back almost ten years. We know this because the paper trail goes that far back, too. Romance. Where do I begin with this story? It’s so well done and amazingly written. I can’t get enough of it. The idea to follow the relationship of Hermann and Newton through their paper trail was brilliant and well executed. The sheer nerdy romance is amazing. I don’t even care if it has smut in it, it’s still well worth the read. One-shot.

#Pacific Rim #pacific rim fanfiction #hermann/newton #hermann gottlieb #Newton Geiszler #romance #hurt/comfort #angst #so much fluff #science husbands

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camillemontespan · 5 years

Text

queer eye: the cordonian edition [episode 1: drake walker] [part one]

@jovialyouthmusic @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @sirbeepsalot@moonlightgem7 @katedrakeohd @emceesynonymroll @notoriouscs @dcbbw@drakesensworld @carabeth @be-still-my-aching-heart @andy-loves-corgis@mariahschoices @thequeenofcronuts @drakewalkerisreal @nikkis1983@simsvetements @alesana45 @iplaydrake @drakewalkerwhipped@drakxwalker @drakewalkerrosenberg @drakeswalkers @drakelover78@silviasutton1989 @furiousherringoperatortoad @hollygirl1269 @ladyangel70 @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @burnsoslow

So, this is the beginning of @pug-bitch and I’s collaboration! We’ll be taking turns to pick a character from the TRR core group and getting them made over by the Fab Five.

I posted a teaser a month ago of this chapter but I’ve since written more. This will be split into 2/3 parts because it’s already so long.

We’ll be posting these whenever we have the time to, so don’t expect a weekly update as we have other series to work on. This is just a bit of fun and fluff, the idea came from @notoriouscs

If you don’t watch Queer Eye, you may not get this? Or you could just sit and watch one episode, get the gist of it then come back to read? Or you can just read this blind with no context. Up to you!

Now kweens, Queer Eye is taking Cordonia!

***************************************************************************************

Jonathan: GROOMING. Owner of luscious locks, self care advocate, is a Kelly Clarkson song.

Tan: FASHION. A style icon, inventor of the French tuck, lover of printed shirts.

Bobby: DESIGN. Unsung hero, man of few words and week-long renovation projects, lover of gray and blue hues.

Karamo: CULTURE. Beautifully manicured beard, inspirational angel, loves to get people to scream about their dreams as a self-confidence exercise.

Antoni: FOOD. Can only make grilled cheese or dips. Pretty to look at, cooking skills questionable. Owner of a million slogan tees and bandanas.

‘Oh my God, look at how blue the water is! I wanna go swimming!’ Jonathan shrieked, pointing out the window at the passing landscape. Bobby chuckled. ‘We can go swimming after we’ve sorted out our first case!’

Karamo, who was driving, cleared his throat. ‘Okay, so who are we dealing with?’

Antoni opened up his iPad and began to read from the screen. ‘So, his name is Drake Walker-’

‘Oh my God, I bet he’s a beefcake,’ Tan whispered.

‘Honey, let me be the judge of that!’ Jonathan joined in.

Antoni giggled then continued to read. ‘Yes, Drake Walker. 28 years old, from Austin, Texas, but has lived in Cordonia since he was five, 6 foot four-’

‘Definite beefcake,’ Tan and Karamo interrupted at the same time.

‘Guys, let me read!’ Antoni hollered. The group went quiet, clamping their lips together to stop them from laughing. The car continued to go past the blue ocean of Cordonia, the hot sun beating down on them.

‘Okay, so he is the King’s best friend. Drake’s favourite things are whiskey-’

Jonathan wrinkled his nose. ‘Eww.’

‘Smores and being outdoors,’ Antoni finished.

Jonathan broke into a grin. ‘Smores and being outdoors! Smores and being outdoors! Oh, it’s like a cute song for a commercial!’

Karamo got serious. ‘Who nominated him?’

Antoni’s eyes scanned the screen. ‘The King.'

‘THE KING?! 'the group screamed.

‘King Liam says Drake has gotten himself into a rut. Drake is not the most social guy, he hates etiquette and isn’t comfortable at palace balls.’

‘Riiiight, and you say he is best friends with the king?’ Bobby asked, frowning. ‘That doesn’t make any sense.’

Jonathan sighed. ‘We’ll unpack that later.’

‘Liam says Drake always wears the same thing so Tan, you might have your work cut out for you,’ Antoni continued, ‘and he doesn’t really get along with the nobles. But, there’s a big ball coming up in which the king is meeting potential suitors and Drake has to be there. It’s a big deal, this will make international news because it’s such an archaic way of finding a wife. As his best friend, Liam wants Drake to feel confident, self assured and actually rock a suit. Oh my God, he hates suits.’

‘This guy is definitely in the wrong environment..’ Bobby said quietly.

Tan cleared his throat. ‘Um, what does he wear usually?’

Antoni turned to stare at him. ‘Denim shirts.’

Tan turned pale.

**************************************************************

The car pulled up outside the palace where Drake stayed.

‘Oh my GOD!’ the Fab Five screamed, staring up at the building.

They bolted out of the car, the cameras following them and they ran up the stairs.

‘Wait!’ Tan shouted. ‘I need a picture by the fountain!’

He ran down the stairs towards the fountain situated in the centre of the courtyard and stood in front of it. Bobby took out his phone and snapped a photo; Jonathan ran down the stairs and joined Tan, cocking his hip and posing.

‘I feel so regal right now,’ Jonathan drawled, flicking his long hair. Tan cackled.

‘Guys, come on, we need to meet Drake!’ Karamo shouted.

The Fab Five entered the palace and collective screaming continued. Courtiers turned to stare, looking very confused. ‘Look at all of the marble!’ Antoni cried, running a hand down a column.

The cameras scanned the foyer until they stopped to film a tall man dressed in military regalia striding towards them. ‘Oh my God, that’s the King,’ Tan whispered. The Fab Five went silent.

King Liam grinned and held out a hand to each of them. ‘Welcome to Cordonia!’

The Fab Five nodded mutely, their eyes wide.

‘Have I rendered you speechless?’ Liam joked, raising an eyebrow. Jonathan’s mouth dropped open before he finally spoke. ‘Oh, you can render me speechless any day..’

Liam burst out laughing. ‘Jonathan, I knew you were my favourite.’

‘What?!’ the others shrieked. ‘How?!’

Jonathan giggled and confidently hooked his arm around the King’s. ‘Your Majesty, please take us to our new project!’

He began to skip while still holding onto Liam’s arm. Jonathan tried his best royal wave to the courtiers as they went.

************************************************************************

Liam stopped outside a room and knocked on the door. ‘Hmm, it’s 12pm, he might not be up yet..’ he said. They waited until the Fab Five got impatient and began to bang their fists on the door. ‘Drakeyyyyy!’ they trilled.

The door was flung open and the camera zoomed in to show a tall, broad shouldered man with a pissed off expression on his face. He was dressed in a white t-shirt and blue pyjama bottoms. His dark hair was dishevelled and he was bleary eyed. ‘Wha?’

‘Oh my God, you are a beefcake!’ Tan cried, clapping his hands. Drake blinked, rubbing his eyes. ‘Uh.. Liam?’

Liam sniggered. ‘I nominated you.’

‘Nominated me? What do you mean nominated - oh no. Oh god no. The show you watch in your downtime. Oh no..’

‘Yup, that’s us!’ Bobby grinned. ‘Now let us in!’

The group pushed past Drake. Drake shot a look of contempt to Liam, who shrugged, clearly enjoying this. Liam followed Drake into the room where the Fab Five were running around.

‘This room is massive! Look at the balcony!’ Tan said. ‘Bobby, you’re going to love doing this up.’

Bobby looked like a child on Christmas Day. His eyes scanned the room, which was huge and sparsely decorated, with hardly any pictures or trinkets, until he stopped, focusing on the bottles of whiskey dotting the bedside table. ‘Oh. Lots of whiskey..’ he muttered.

Karamo looked at the whiskey bottles and bit his lip.

Tan opened up the wardrobe. Drake darted towards him, alarmed. ‘What the hell? Dude, who gave you permission to go through my clothes?’

Tan stared at him. ‘Have you ever watched the show?’

‘No..’ Drake mumbled. ‘Is that what you do?’

Tan placed his hands on Drake’s shoulders. ‘Drake, your life is going to be examined for the next five days. Your wardrobe, your eating habits, your room, everything. I’m going through your wardrobe and sorting out what needs binned, what needs kept and just making you look... more presentable.’

Drake swallowed and watched as Tan rifled through the wardrobe. ‘You have so much denim..’ Tan observed.

‘I like denim,’ Drake said defensively.

Tan raised his hands up. ‘Sure. So did Britney and Justin at the AMAs. Ugh, matching. Tell me, do you want to be like Britney and Justin?’

Drake stared at him. ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

******************************************************************************

Jonathan went into Drake’s en-suite and looked through the products, which was very minimal. ‘He only has a razor. There’s no moisturiser, no facial wash, nada,’ Jonathan told the camera. ‘What does he wash his face with?’

He rooted through the cupboard. ‘Ah, found them. Face wipes. Oh honey, no.’

Drake came in, clearly uncomfortable with strangers in his space looking through his things. ‘Um, why are you in my bathroom?’

Jonathan grinned at him. ‘I am in charge of grooming, I’m responsible for everything you see here,’ he explained, pointing to his own face. ‘Now, I see you use face wipes.’

‘Yeah, I like to take care of my skin.’

Jonathan blinked. There was a long awkward silence. The special effect of crickets would have to be added later.

‘Drake,’ Jonathan said seriously, ‘face wipes are evil. They pretend to be good for skin but honestly, they don’t help anything! These are banned.’

‘Then what do I wash my face with?!’

‘A cleanser and toner!’

‘Toner?’

‘Yeah, toner.’

There was another silence. Drake cleared his throat. ‘What’s toner?’

Jonathan dropped the packet of face wipes into the bin. ‘I’m going to pretend you didn’t just ask me that.’

*************************************************************************************

Tan sat in front of the camera and ran a hand through his salt and pepper quiff. He shot a winning smile at the camera. ‘So, my goal for this week is to just introduce Drake to new things. Less denim, more prints, more colour. Denim is only meant for jeans and after taking everything out of his closet, he only owns denim. The guy has no sense of fashion and that’s absolutely okay, I just want him to start making an effort. I want him to enjoy getting dressed in the morning and to feel confident in what he’s wearing.’

Jonathan was interviewed next. ‘He is so handsome, he doesn’t really need a makeover as such..’ he mused. ‘But he doesn’t know about how to look after his skin. He doesn’t have a routine, he doesn’t know what toner is, he uses face wipes. I’m going to teach him how to look after his skin and also introduce him to the concept of self care. He’s going to be such a marshmallow by the time I’m finished with him!’

He jumped off the seat and banged his hip against Antoni’s. Antoni sat down on the chair and faced the camera. ‘We’re yet to see what Drake likes to eat considering meals at court are prepared by servants.. so my role might be quite useless...’ He trailed off, looking into the distance with a lost expression on his face. ‘Maybe I can teach him how to make grilled cheese..’

Bobby replaced a dejected Antoni. ‘The bare bones of his room is amazing. SO big with a balcony overlooking Cordonia. It’s basically a real babe magnet but he hasn’t done anything to do it. No pictures, no books, nothing. It’s not the kind of room you would expect to be in a palace, so I kinda want to find out what Drake likes and make his room his own space to recharge from courtly life.’

Karamo sat down. ‘He had so many whiskey bottles littered around the room, it was actually quite alarming. I want to just get to know the guy, work out why he is the king’s best friend but hates court. It doesn’t make sense to me. I want to open up Drake Walker!’

*******************************************************************************************

Day 1: Denim Disaster

Tan lead Drake over to the wardrobe and opened the doors. 'Okay! Tell me. Why the weird obsession with denim?'

Drake shuffled on his feet awkwardly. 'I dunno.. I like blue.'

Tan smiled. 'Blue is a nice colour and we can certainly incorporate more blue into your closet, but we need to ditch a lot of the denim.'

'But why? Denim is a nice material,' Drake said quietly.

Tan studied him for a moment then took out his phone. His slim fingers tapped the screen before showing a picture. He held the phone out to Drake, who frowned.

'This denim disaster you see there, although an iconic pop culture moment from 2001, is something that cannot be repeated. This is Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. Have you heard of them?'

Drake glared at him. 'I'm not a total recluse. I had a Britney poster in my room growing up.'

Tan laughed. 'Really?!'

Drake blushed. 'She was a babe back in the day..'

Tan giggled then cleared his throat seriously. 'Drake, I'm showing you this because double denim is not a good look. This denim look you see on Britney and Justin got attention for all the wrong reasons. Do you think this is a good look?'

'Hell no!'

'Then Drake, why are you yourself wearing double denim?!' Tan cried. Drake's eyes widened. 'Oh god. Do I look like that?!'

*******************************************************************************************

Drake and Tan entered a men's clothing store with the cameras following. Rails of clothing, from leather jackets to beautiful printed shirts, greeted them. Tan looked at Drake and knew instantly that Drake felt out his depth. 'So, you like blue,' Tan started. 'I suggest we use that as our base colour and go from there.'

Drake nodded and Tan guided him over to a rail of shirts. 'Now, everyone knows I adore a printed shirt,' Tan admitted, picking up a blue shirt with printed zebras.

Drake jumped back. ‘What the actual FUCK is that?’

Tan stared at him, the offending shirt in his hand. He whistled. ‘Wow, no crazy prints for you then..’

Drake shuddered. ‘It looks like something Maxwell would wear.’

‘Okay, so no crazy prints. Noted.’

Tan began to sort through clothes. 'I actually want to guide you away from these prints at the moment and just look at this Henley shirt.'

He held up a dark blue Henley shirt. 'This is casual, so easy to wear and hey, isn't denim. And, bonus - it’s blue.'

Drake took it and watched as Tan fluttered around the store. He picked up a battered brown leather jacket. Drake wandered over. 'Can I see that?'

'Yes!' Tan squealed. 'Oh my god, you're getting into this!'

Drake reddened. Tan quickly began to pick up various shirts, jeans and boots. His arms were laden down - Drake reached out to take half of the pile, ever the gent.

'Now, you're a courtier which means you need a suit,' Tan said. Drake's face turned to stone.

'I'm not wearing a suit.'

Tan stopped. 'I know suits can be intimidating -'

'Forget it, Tan,' Drake told him sharply. 'I'm not turning into one of them.'

Tan moved closer to Drake. 'Turning into who?' he asked softly. Drake looked away, his jaw set. 'Drake?' Tan tried again.

Drake sighed. 'I don't want to be like the nobles at court. All they wear are suits and crow about their status and wealth. If I wear a suit then I'm joining them. I'm no better.'

His voice sounded so bitter. Tan bit his lip. 'Why do you dislike them so much? Is it because they brag?'

Drake smirked. 'That amongst other things.'

Tan wanted to ask more but from the look on Drake’s face, he knew not to pursue it. Instead, he fixed a bright smile on his face. ‘Right, let’s get you trying on clothes!’ he led Drake to the dressing room. He handed him the blue henley shirt, jeans, jacket and boots.

Drake came out a few minutes later, a reluctant model. He looked a little embarrassed. Tan clapped his hand to his mouth. ‘Well, you look like you just stepped off a men’s lifestyle magazine cover! Look at you!’

Drake blushed and looked at himself in the mirror. The shirt fitted him perfectly; the way it fit on his body showed off his broad chest. The jeans were a faded dark blue and on his feet were brown suede boots. The leather jacket was slung on top, completing the look. Drake looked like a rockstar. Tan resisted the urge to jump on him.

‘How do you feel?’ he asked.

Drake chuckled. ‘Pretty good, actually.’

‘Give me a twirl!’

Drake shot Tan a withering look but twirled around slowly. Tan jumped up and down with glee. ‘You are serving me off duty model in New York, on his way to a secret underground gig and has a model girlfriend called Ianthe.’

‘Ianthe?’ Drake wrinkled his nose. Tan nodded. ‘She’s blonde,’ he said, hit by inspiration. ‘Sweet girl, dirty sense of humour.’

Drake laughed. ‘I can be down with that.’

Drake studied himself in the mirror and drew himself up, puffing out his chest. ‘I actually really like this. It’s... different but not too drastic.’

‘See, I can be nice!’ Tan joked. He watched as Drake smiled shyly in the mirror.

*******************************************************************************************

The cameras filmed the Fab Five as they settled down on the sofa with cups of coffee to discuss their project. ‘How did shopping go?’ Karamo asked Tan. Tan grinned. ‘Good, for the most part! He loved the outfit I put together for him but he didn’t want to try on suits.’

Karamo shrugged. ‘Many of our projects before haven’t wanted to.’

‘Yeah, like they freak out!’ Bobby said. ‘Like they seem to have this, ‘I’m a rough around the edges guy, I don’t need a suit,’ kind of mentality.’

Tan shook his head. ‘This was different.. like he seemed so adamant, like the suit was poison. He said he didn’t want to turn into the nobles at court.’

‘I wonder why?’ Karamo said quietly, thinking. His mind was working overtime. It didn’t make sense to him that the king’s best friend lived in the palace but was so against the people he saw everyday.

‘I’ll talk to him,’ Karamo decided.

*******************************************************************************************

Day 2: Self Care is not Girly

Drake watched as Jonathan began to place beauty products on the table in front of him. ‘What’s all this?’ he asked. Jonathan turned to him and gave a him a wink. ‘We are having a self care session!’

Drake groaned. ‘Oh god, self care. It’s all I hear about from Liam after he started watching your show.’

‘Liam is right to talk about self care, he’s a clever cookie,’ Jonathan said briskly. ‘Now sit down.’

Drake settled down on the chair, rigid. He eyed the lotions and potions with dread in his eyes. ‘Um.. isn’t this stuff kinda.. girly?’

Jonathan sat down opposite Drake and looked him dead in the eyes. ‘No. This is one reason why men need to start just owning this sort of thing. It’s okay to take time out for yourself. It’s not gay to own beauty products. It’s not gay to take fifteen minutes out of your day to just sit with cucumbers on your eyes. This is toxic masculinity at its peak and everyday I want to challenge that. Now, we’re going to put on face masks.’

Drake stood up quickly. ‘No, it’s okay.’

‘Drake,’ Jonathan said, ‘please. It’s a nice way to relax.’

‘But it’s girly.’

‘What have I just told you? It’s not a bad thing! Now, do you want to feel relaxed and content?’

‘Yeah but-’

‘Then sit your fine ass down and put an oat face mask on.’

Drake groaned but sat down. Jonathan grinned. ‘So, you can make these at home, which I do regularly, but today, I’ve just picked this up. This will exfoliate your skin and banish all the dead skin cells. You will feel like a god once we’re done here. Not that you’re not a god already, I mean, look at you.. but that’s BESIDES THE POINT.’

Drake blushed and watched as Jonathan picked up the tub that held the face mask. ‘Now, squeeze a tiny blob onto your hand and just apply to your face. Smooth it on, no rubbing.’

Drake winced but applied the face mask. ‘Oh, it feels weird..’ he murmured.

His face was now covered. ‘Uhh.. what now?’ he asked.

‘Now, we lie back and let the face mask work its magic.’

Drake settled back into the chair and closed his eyes. Jonathan closed his eyes too.

‘So, tell me about this ball the King is holding,’ Jonathan said casually.

‘Ugh, it’s just to find him a wife,’ Drake muttered. ‘It’s ridiculous.’

‘And it’s a competition?’

‘Yeah. He’s got all these duchesses coming round to try and win his heart. There’s events they have to compete it, it’s hard work. I wouldn’t want to be them.’

‘Why hasn’t Liam found anyone the normal way? You know, Tinder,’ Jonathan asked. Drake chuckled. ‘The king isn’t allowed to use tinder.’

‘That sucks. Do you use tinder?’

Drake smirked. ‘Not telling.’

‘Oh my God, you do!’ Jonathan squealed, his eyes shooting open. Drake kept his eyes shut but he was trying not to laugh.

‘Have you matched with anyone?!’ Jonathan shrieked. Drake mimed zipping his mouth closed.

‘At least tell me who your ideal girl is.’

Drake laughed nervously. ‘Um.. someone laidback? Who isn’t taken in by the trappings of court. Someone who likes a drink and is just fun to be around. Nothing too demanding.’

‘Who’s your celebrity crush?’ Jonathan asked.

‘Selma Hayek,’ he said immediately. Jonathan’s mouth dropped open. ‘She is a babe!’

They were quiet again until Jonathan, who hated silence, broke it.

‘Have you ever had a girlfriend?’

‘Nah, man,’ Drake told him. ‘I’ve had girls yeah.. but not girlfriends.’

‘You can’t be tamed!’ Jonathan joked. ‘Oh honey, I just want to tame you right now.’

Drake’s body shook as he laughed. ‘Calm down, Jonathan.’

They sat in silence for a few more minutes. ‘Right, time to wash off the face mask!’ Jonathan announced.

They went into the bathroom and Drake washed his face. When he looked up in the mirror, his eyes widened. ‘I look.. fresh.’

‘Yes you do, honey!’ Jonathan said. ‘You look fresh as a daisy. Now, you are only to do that once a week. Any more and your skin was start to get aggravated as this is a scrub. Now, cleansing. You’ll notice I threw out your face wipes.’

‘I did, yes. Didn’t appreciate that,’ Drake said dryly.

‘Don’t give me backchat,’ Jonathan scolded him. ‘Here you have your new cleanser. It’s free from animal testing, it’s good for even sensitive skin and it will just keep your skin looking and feeling good. Next, toner.’

‘This is a long routine,’ Drake observed.

‘Beauty takes a village!’ Jonathan replied. ‘After your toner, you then apply your moisturiser. This will lock in moisture, obviously, and keep skin hydrated. No more dry patches. Plus, it smells gorge!’

Drake sniffed the moisturiser. ‘Ooh, it does!’

‘Right?! So, face wash, toner, moisturiser twice a day, every day. Face mask, once a week. Got it?’

‘Got it.’

‘Amazing. Oh honey, you’ve done so good today!’ Jonathan pulled him into a hug. Drake stiffened at first but then relaxed, patting him on the back.

*******************************************************************************************

Day 3: Babe Magnet

Bobby and Drake were in a home store. ‘So, tell me what kind of decor you like. As in, do you like wallpaper? Cushions? Tell me your thing,’ Bobby started.

Drake shrugged. ‘I don’t really know..’

‘Okay, what colours do you like?’

‘Hmm. Blue. Green. Sort of nature colours, I guess.’

Bobby grinned. ‘That’s great! Okay, so we can use those. For rooms, it’s always good to have three colours. One is your main base, the second is the compliment colour, and the third is for accents. How about we use blue as the base? So, blue walls?’

‘I like blue walls,’ Drake said simply.

‘Cool. Green as a secondary colour, I think too. Like, a dark green duvet?’

Drake nodded. ‘Sure, sounds good.’

‘Now, accent colours. I’ll show you this mood board here of different colours and fabrics. Show me what you are drawn to as an accent.’

Drake studied the mood board Bobby held out. He touched the silk, the satin, the cotton and looked through the colour spectrum, his eyes narrowed in concentration.

‘I quite like the rusty orange..’ he said. ‘Is that weird?’

‘Not at all!’ Bobby said. ‘Nice choice, you have a good eye.’

‘What are accent colours?’ Drake asked quietly, as if it was a stupid question. Bobby did not think it was a stupid question at all.

Bobby guided him over to an aisle full of cushions. ‘Cushions, blankets, lampshades. These can all be accents, they are the little pieces in your space that add some personality and fun. You can play around with a pop of colour.’

They began to look at cushions and rugs. Drake’s eye roamed the store and fell upon a copper drinks cart. ‘Ooh.’

Bobby followed his eye line. The bottles of whiskey in Drake’s room instantly sprang to mind and he felt a flash of panic. He hadn’t been advised on how to deal with this. Clearly, the guy had a drink problem. Buying a drinks cart would only be encouraging it. Where was Karamo for advice when he needed him?

‘Oooh, shelves! Drake, let’s look at shelves!’ he cried, distracting him. Drake followed him to the shelving section.

‘I like the driftwood,’ Drake volunteered.

‘You’re so outdoorsy, aren’t you?’ Bobby asked. Drake blushed.

‘Honestly, I am too,’ Bobby continued. ‘I love being outside, working with my hands. Driftwood is a nice touch, it adds some interest to the room and is a nice feature. You sure you haven’t looked at interior design before?’

Drake blushed. ‘Pretty sure.’

Bobby raised an eyebrow. ‘Okay, cool. Now, the balcony. Let me talk about the balcony. How often do you use it?’

'Whenever it gets a bit much in court, I use it.’

Bobby smiled softly. ‘Cool. I noticed it’s quite sparse so would you mind if I put in some plants, maybe some fairy lights and candles? It’s a babe magnet of a balcony, some girls like fairy lights and candles...’

‘Bit girly..’ Drake muttered.

‘We have got to erase the word from your vocab!’ Bobby scolded. ‘Jonathan was telling me you thought face masks were girly, which they’re not. Neither are fairy lights and candles. Drake, it’s okay to have feminine things in a masculine space; to be honest, it’s refreshing.’

‘Fine, okay, I’ll have fairy lights,’ Drake sighed.

Bobby stared at him, his gaze steady. ‘Sit on that sofa,’ he said, gesturing to a leather sofa behind him. Drake sat down, his face red from embarrassment. Bobby settled down beside him and faced him.

‘Okay. Usually, this is Karamo’s area but right now, we are in the middle of trying to kit out your bedroom to be a nice, relaxing space and I’m sorry but toxic masculinity is not the vibe I want in that room, okay?’

Drake nodded mutely. He looked like a child being told off. Bobby continued with the tough love nonetheless.

‘I imagine you’re quite socially awkward?’

‘What gives you that impression?’ Drake muttered, picking at his fingernails.

‘Everything about you,’ Bobby said bluntly. ‘You’re at court and you’re the king’s best friend but from what I’ve heard, you hate that environment. So, I guess your room is your escape. But, the room you have is bare and there is not one hint of Drake Walker in it. I want to make that room yours. I want it to be your own space where you feel relaxed and can just be yourself, no airs or graces, just you. I’m not trying to change you, I promise. I just want you to be open to more ideas, challenge yourself. You might find some stuff that you like.’

Drake was silent for a moment and studied the floor. He looked up at Bobby with decision in his eyes. ‘Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to shoot down your ideas, you are the expert and clearly, I need some professional help. I’ll smell all the candles you want and stock up on tons of cushions, whatever. You’re here for a reason, I’ve got to just accept that.’

Bobby smiled wobbily, his eyes threatening to fill with tears. ‘Thank you, Drake.’

Drake shrugged but offer a small smile. The tension was released.

‘By the way, not all candles smell ‘girly’, to quote your favourite word,’ Bobby explained. ‘You can get some that smell of leather, sandalwood.. want to try?’

Drake gave him an enthusiastic nod. ‘Sure, why not? Take me to the candles!’

#trr fanfic #drake walker #queer eye takes cordonia #the royal romance #trr #TRH

35 notes · View notes

lesbianmonsterlover · 5 years

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Fem Minotaur x Fem Reader

You didn’t know if it was lucky or unlucky that your little office window faced the big glass wall of the gym across the street, because while you appreciated the view you got from time to time, it definitely made it harder to work. There was an incredible looking minotaur woman who led weightlifting classes and coached the powerlifters. Her broad back was covered in tawny fur, and irregular white spots. You knew from the times she would correct form that she had a big white splotch on her muzzle and around her eyes, giving her long white eyelashes and a cute pink nose. You desperately wanted to know what it felt like to have those huge hands caressing over your curves. You sigh, your little queer heart aflutter, before you’re pulled out of your reverie by the shrill ringing of your office phone.

By the time you return from the early afternoon meeting, where you’re forced to listen to the higher-ups drone on and pat themselves on the back for projects actually managed and completed by workers like you they consider peons, you’ve almost ground your teeth down to nothing. You collapse into your desk chair and huff, thankful the clock says you’ve only got three more hours before you can go home. At five on the nose you shut down and clock out, sighing in relief as you walk through the front door of the building and start off down the street to get home. Your commute isn’t long, but it does tend to be cramped, which can make you even more self conscious of the amount of space you fear you take up. Sure you aren’t as big as, say, an orc, but it’s not like they can help it! They’re merely built that way as a species! You were just a chubby human.

You make it back to your apartment, your little studio feeling lonelier and lonelier as of late. You’ve been considering adopting a pet for a while, but have been concerned that your lifestyle would make it hard on an animal companion. A dog was definitely out of the question, but perhaps now that you’re working more regular hours you can get yourself a cat to come home to. That’s how you find yourself walking into your local shelter on a warm Saturday, out of your professional clothes and in a flowy, summery dress printed with pale watercolor roses. The broad smile that crosses your face when you walk into the air conditioned front room gives way to a shy blush when the gorgeous minotaur woman from the gym struts by in a volunteer apron, two large bags of dog food slung over her shoulders. You miss the greeting from the human behind the counter, which just makes her giggle and send you a knowing wink before repeating herself. “Welcome, what brings you in today? Looking for a furry friend, maybe a fuzzy girlfriend?”

The sly addition just makes you blush and stutter back that you were hoping to come by and adopt a cat. Someone calm and older than a kitten, but still cuddly and playful on their own terms. Her smile brightens and she perks up. “Oh I’m so glad to hear you say that! We have many older cats looking for loving homes, let me get someone to take you into the cat room with a few of our options…” The smirk on her face almost seems sinister, if her eyes hadn’t been so warm and understanding you may have been concerned, but before you can voice any of this to her she turns and heads into the back, coming back mere moments later with the huge minotaur woman in tow.

You feel tiny as she looks down at you with a warm and professional smile. You give you a shy grin, cheeks hot, and try to stutter out a greeting. “Kharya will show you to the back room and give you a run down on some of our tenants, I’d argue you’re best with those little purr machines. I know how much you love p...cats.” You’re so busy getting caught up in being so close to this huge beautiful woman, and Goddess if she doesn’t seem bigger and more imposing in real life, that you miss the innuendo and almost-slip-up. The minotaur, Kharya, gives her coworker a deadpan look before turning and smiling at you, her eyes crinkling, and you want to know what it feels like to pet over her soft pink nose and up the tawny fur of her snout. The two of you are brought out of staring at each other by the snorting laugh of the human and her mumbled “useless lesbians” which just makes Kharya glare hard at the back of her head.

“Let me show you to the back room where we keep our fully grown cats.” For the love of all that is holy that voice. It was a bit higher than you expected from someone so huge, but it suited her. Her long, snow-white eyelashes suited her, framing warm chocolate eyes. Her smile is a little shy, she seems as flustered by her coworker as you were. Your head barely reaches her chest, and you feel intimately aware of her muscles shifting as she walks near you. Her smile is still soft as she opens the door and gestures for you to enter. “Just take a seat on the floor and I’ll let a few of these guys out, we’ll see who comes over to take a look and go from there.”

You take a chance to study her, up close this time, while she releases a few cats into the playroom. She has two quite cute and dainty little horns curving up and around her ears, it somehow suits her better than hair could, and her strong shoulders stole your attention next as they flexed while she reached up for a particularly high crate. You’re certainly smitten with her, but try to make sure your gaze is averted by the time she turns around, having opened about half a dozen little doors. It’s easy as it turns out, because a sweet looking ball of fluff had come out of hiding sometime during your shameless ogling of the woman in front of you. The black ball of fuzz mewed at you indignantly, pawing at your knee before headbutting and then nuzzling your leg.

You giggle and scratch the little critter behind the ears, making it purr and drop like a sack of potatoes against your leg. The giggle morphs into a laugh, matched by a chuckle from Kharya across from you, looking down at you with a fond tenderness in her gaze. “That’s Sprite, he’s usually a bit of a recluse, but something seems to have gotten his attention.” Her smile widens, “he isn’t the only one…” Her gaze is full of open affection, and it makes your cheeks heat. “You work in the building across from mine, yeah? I’ve seen you around…” Your face feels on fire, oh god what do you do? You weren’t prepared for this, like at all. You just nod mutely, gazing up at her, but something about your response seems to have been enough for her, since she just laughs and crosses the room to sit next to you, allowing one of the other cats curious enough to leave his enclosure to hop up into her lap and curl up. You were jealous of that cat for a moment.

“I’ve...I’ve seen you around too.” Your voice is quiet, but when you glance back up at her you can see she’s fixed you with an unreadable look. Your fingers nervously skitter around on Sprite’s chin, making the fuzzbutt purr louder and lean further into your soft thigh. “I’m happy to see you here today though, I’m always too chicken to talk to you.”

She looks worried, her brow furrowed and her mouth twisted into what you’d guess is a sneer. “You’re afraid of me?” The loud peal of laughter from you at least smooths out her face, making her smile fondly down.

“No! No, I’m not afraid of you. But...beautiful women make me nervous…” You’re feeling uncharacteristically bold, reaching your free hand over to touch her hand as you speak, feeling the soft downy fur on the back and trailing your fingers until you feel it fade into the calloused surface of her palm. She brightens up at that, large brown eyes positively sparkling with delight as she turns her hand over beneath yours, lacing fingers together.

Needless to say you went home that afternoon with Sprite, apparently short for Soot Sprite, the black void with big green eyes who decided to come flop on your leg. You may have also left still holding the hand of the large minotaur woman Kharya while the two of you strolled over to the pet store, picking out all of the necessities considering you were starting from scratch. Just as you were internally figuring out how to get all of this back Kharya offers to help you carry it home. “Are you sure you don’t mind? I’m sure I could just have them deliver most of this, I don’t want to bother you any more than I already have!”

She chuckles and nuzzles your cheek, her tongue just peeking out to lick a kiss on the side of your face making you blush. “Never a bother, besides, what’s the use of all this muscle if I can’t even show off for a cute girl?” This only makes your cheeks hotter, sputtering a little but agreeing.

“It isn’t too far, maybe ten minutes, if you’re sure it isn’t a big deal?” In reply she simply hefts up the large packages with the cat tree, litter, anything heavy really, and allows you to lead the way left carrying Sprite’s crate and a few bags of toys and treats. The walk is beautiful, and the company only makes it better. She probes you with questions about where you grew up, your family, what you do for work, and she tells you all about her childhood in the country, her job at the gym, her history as a competitive lifter. Conversation and laughter are both flowing easily as you slow down in front of your building, biting your lip in consideration. “Do you maybe want to come upstairs and help get Sprite settled in?”

You try not to sound too hopeful, gazing up at her a little nervously. Kharya’s answer is a wide smile and nod. “Lead the way.” You grin back at her and turn to key in your door code, holding the front door open for the large woman, who still has to duck to get through the door. The elevator ride is full of giggles as you try to fit both of you and all the bags into the tiny box, thankful you seem to all come in under capacity. Your front door opens with a key fob, and you’re thankful it can be read inside the pocket of your dress as you bump your hip up against the door and push down the handle with your elbow.

The ceilings are thankfully high, so while Kharya does have to duck to get inside once in she’s quite comfortable. She sets down the packages, hardly seeming to have broken a sweat, and smiles down at you sweetly. She grips your chin between her thumb and forefinger, leaning down to press your foreheads together in an intimate gesture, sharing breath and space. Pulling back she swipes a kiss across your forehead with her tongue before releasing your face and moving back to the packages. You stand there dazed for a moment before her voice breaks you out of your reverie. “Why don’t you open Sprite’s cage and we’ll see if he wants to get out and explore.”

Your cheeks are still hot, but it seems like you’re always blushing around the beautiful minotaur, so you just nod and go to open the carrier. He’s out of there immediately, headbutting your face affectionately before gazing around and claiming a spot on a couch cushion near the window in the sun. “Well...that seems easier than it should have been.”

Kharya glances over at you from where she’s opening the box with the cat tree in it, a full throated laugh coming out as she notices Sprite’s sleeping spot. She’s full of mirth, her eyes watering with the force of her laughter. “Oh, wow, yeah, cats usually don’t take like that. It must be something about you…” She winks at you flirtatiously, and you giggle and blow her a kiss back, making her eyes widen and then narrow in a playful smirk.

You spend a little while together just getting things set up for Sprite. The litter box is in the bathroom, the circulating water dish is set up on the tile floor of the kitchen for easy cleanup in case of accidents, there are toys in every room and Kharya has set up the absolutely overly massive cat tower you bought because you wanted to make sure Sprite had enough things to climb. You and Kharya are now sitting on the couch, Sprite having moved to a lounge chair in a spot much more preferable - where he could nap in the sun undisturbed by the movement of those other pesky creatures around the abode.

The two of you are drinking beer and relaxing after a job well done, Kharya has one massive arm thrown over the back of the couch and you can just feel the heat radiating off of her skin. It’s quiet, but comfortable, and you’re thisclose to just leaning over to rest your head on her shoulder. She clears her throat, making you peer up at her, the nervous look on her face simultaneously endearing and heartbreaking. “So...I’ve kinda been hoping...that maybe you’d be willing to...um...y’know maybe you’d be willing...to go on a date with me?” She’s studiously avoiding your eyes, although she still has her face turned towards you.

You giggle and she almost looks crestfallen for a moment before you lean up and press a kiss on her cute pink nose. “I was kinda hoping that maybe this could count as our first date? I’d love to go on another…” She grins and laughs, bringing her arm down from the back of the sofa and wrapping it around your shoulders firmly, pulling you into her side. “How do you feel about tonight? Maybe we could play with Sprite and order takeout? There’s this killer Thai place near here I’ve been craving.” You worry you might be moving this too fast, but damn if you want to stop this feeling, and you’d be lying to yourself if you said you wanted to wait. Sure, you knew that’s what you should do, what logic would dictate, but you didn’t want to let go of her, afraid that if you did you’d realize this was only some fever dream. That you’d wake up alone, in bed, no Sprite, no Kharya, just another day of the usual monotony.

She perks up, leaning down to nuzzle the top of your head. “Oh it’s like we’re on the same wavelength already!” Her chuckle is deep, but still feminine, and it makes you just burrow further into her warm, strong side. “I think this is the start of a beautiful relationship.”

#exophilia #WLW #female reader #female minotaur #fem reader #fem minotaur #sfw #fluff

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mvgncliv · 5 years

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& - aye, it’s ya boy...uh...skinny penis (puff) coming at you with another muse cause I love adding on things to my already full plate but I love maggie with my whole heart and this is definitely my fav evolution of her so let’s get into it shall we ???

( cis-female ) haven’t seen MAGNOLIA “MAGGIE” MAXWELL around in a while. the JOSEFINE FRIDA PETTERSEN lookalike has been known to be (+) HEADSTRONG & (+) RESILIENT, but SHE can also be (-) STUBBORN & (-) UNTACTFUL. The 21 year old is a JUNIOR majoring in WOMEN AND GENDERS STUDIES. I believe they’re living in AUDAX but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door.

aesthetics ~ vintage leather bound journals over flowing with words, chipped red nail polish to match her everyday red lipstick, dark violet bags under her eyes brought on by insistent insomnia, constantly losing her voice from ranting after one too many drinks, talking louder than she probably should.

Maggie was a mistake and she knows it, it wasn’t a big secret around her house. But she was never really hurt by it, knowing life happens. Just often feeling equally inconvenienced that she had to live a life that had no room for her in it.

She’s a tough cookie, practically raised herself. Think Maeve from Sex education. Definitely lived in a trailer park or something of the likes of it about two hours from LA (tbh too lazy to look up small poor towns near LA so this is all the info I have for you)

Her mom was a druggie and tried her best to stop for Maggie’s sake, but it was just a cycle of endless relapsing. But still she tried till Maggie was 15 and then fully bailed and Maggie managed to keep this a secret from any sort of authorities so she wouldn’t have to go live anywhere she didn’t want to. She liked her little trailer, it had character and it was home. Seriously think Maeve from Sex ed, pulling some major vibes from her

Maggie doesn’t know who her dad is, but her mom did give her his last name so she knows some loser something maxwell is out there but has no interest in finding him, she’s happy on her own.

She never really had any “father” figures growing up, just her mom’s endless rotation of boyfriends. They were all losers, but nice to her and her mom so she didn’t mind, just didn’t get attached and also thankful they weren’t creeps.

The only family she really knew of besides her mom was her cousin Alex and his fam who she’d spend some summer time with in LA now and again, she liked having some sense of belonging but after a week or so she urned to go home and enjoy her space

She identifies as greysexual. Like she’s not bothered by having it but finds it over all an unappealing and boring experience for herself. The two circumstances she’ll have sex is 1, if she’s emotionally invested in her partner cause she emotionally get’s off getting them off and making them happy, or 2, she just really needs to let off steam but it’s purely for the physical and chemical effects she’s still bored the whole time

She is a major sex nerd tho, like shes a women and genders studies major and has a podcast where she talks about fun sex facts and crazy sex stories and listeners can anonymously send in sex confessions or weird sex questions and she talks about it

Honestly you know this vine, well that’s her but like “on all levels but physical I am a hoe”

She has a fire cracker mouth and doesn’t know when to shut up and honestly her fuse ??? never heard of her

If you ever see her drunk at a party she’s ranting about the patriarchy and why the hets have boring sex

Honestly very queer, romantically at least, obvi she finds sex unappealing and boring with all genders but tbh always ready to be softly embraced by a cute girl and maybe even make out a little, but really romantically she goes in every directions

will personally chop off the dick of any dude that even makes a girl feel unsafe and especially if they cross a line

wears red lipstick 24/7 probably even when she sleeps like if her lips are bare you better ask if she’s ok because she’s probably not

tbh she faked a lot of details to get into the school mostly having to do with her parents so that’s part of her secret

hates the name magnolia because it makes her think of a bakery and she is not a cupcake

ok wc

girl gang - give me her partners in crime, they can sit around and drink champagne and look hot and scary together

cohost of her podcast

exes, just give me all the exes give me angst and make me cry

someone she has heated debates with at parties

roommates

weed homies

people she gives sex and relationship advise to

fellow people on the track team

someone she sits outside at 2 am and looks at the stars and gets deep with

idk just give me drama I guess, maybe some fluff, and a good time pls

#ok this is rushed af but love me and her #water:intro

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possibilistfanfiction · 6 years

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a shelter from oblivion (we will be in history)

[so this is a new years gift for @turnandchasethewind bc i shes my best pal but also bc we are sluts for teen vogue & the new 21 under 21 issue is SO LIT so heres some ridiculous fun queer fluff for u:

lexa & clarke are both activists featured in 21 under 21. they might fall in love a little.]

a shelter from oblivion (we will be in history)

queers are intimately familiar with the costs of being queer—that, as much as anything, makes us queer. the question really is not whether feelings such as grief, regret, and despair have a place in transformative politics; nor is it how to cultivate hope in the face of despair. rather, the question that faces us is how to make a future enough that even the most reluctant among us might want to live there.

—heather love, feeling backward: loss and the politics of queer history

you know a lot about lexa woods: a queer, trans activist who argued legislature when she was 15, started a non profit for lgbtq+ youth and legal aid in brooklyn when she was 16, spoke at the women’s march in new york, is now 19 and a sophomore at harvard studying political science and queer theory. also, notably—because you admire her and also because, honestly, she’s hot as hell—has walked the past two fashion weeks in both paris and new york and is the new face of mac.

so, whatever. you know a lot.

you’d expected her to be intense, which she is, and professional, which she definitely is, letting like five people in front of her in line at craft services during your shoot and sitting down for her interview after literally shutting off her iphone, smiling gently, and leaning forward like those next twenty minutes were the most important of her life.

what you hadn’t expected, though, is how she’s funny, and kind of silly, even, and actually honest to god giggled at a stupid joke you made when you were talking to her after you finished your interview.

and now, now, you’re at some vegan diner in the middle of east williamsburg, because she’d started talking to you about your art and you’d talked to her about how you always want to be more inclusive—both in your subjects and what your art is conversing with itself—and then she was grabbing your coats and leading you to the L train. she’s sneaking a little whiskey into your milkshakes with the sexiest, cutest wink you’ve ever seen, and, just.

‘i’m sure you get this all the time,’ you say, trying to let the milkshake cool you the fuck down, because your cheeks are burning, ‘but you’re the prettiest girl i have ever met.’

her smile is small, bashful, radiant, and you want to see it for your entire life, you think, in that moment. which is dramatic and young but whatever. she’s beautiful.

‘i don’t, actually,’ she says, and it’s full of a little sadness and the sort of bitterness—in a different way, but not too dissimilar—also know.

‘well,’ you say, ‘that’s dumb. because like—’ you gesture at her, and she looks down, blushing, ‘wow.’

‘i’ve thought similarly of you,’ she says, ‘since i saw some of your art two years ago.’

your heart pounds at the confession but before you can say anything, or reach under the booth and grab her hand, your server comes by with the bill, flushed cheeks and stammering at lexa, or maybe at the two of you, who knows. that’d be cool.

you climb out of the booth and it’s cute, the way lexa methodically pulls on her scarf, then her jacket, a little beanie, gloves, before she heads to the door. you think distantly that your mom would admire that kind of precision, that carefulness, and then you have to reel that in because, really, meeting your mom?

lexa smiles at you, turns a little in the chill under the streetlamp. ‘i’m afraid i have to go back to boston tonight.’

‘that’s cool,’ you say, ‘i have class tomorrow too.’

she nods, seemingly hesitant, and you think she might kiss you, which would be so fucking awesome, but then she shrugs. ‘i would love to work with you, if you wanted? i always need more designers and artists for events for my non profit, and i can commission you.’

you smile, and it’s gentle, because she’s nervous and swallowing a lot and her eyes are really green, and maybe she’s not nearly as put-together as she seems. ‘that’d be cool as fuck,’ you say, and she grins with a laugh, then nods.

‘you can take the L all the way back to your school,’ she says, and it’s sweet and not condescending at all.

‘i know, you say, elbow her good naturedly when she blushes. ‘i come down to bushwick a lot.’

‘right,’ she says, almost to herself. ‘artist.’

‘and the parties.’

there’s silence—like she doesn’t quite know what to say, or even how to say anything, but then she nods and says, ‘my ride is here,’ and points to a black town car.

‘it was nice to finally meet you, clarke griffin,’ she says, offers her hand very formally.

you shake it with a roll of your eyes—but you don’t want to invade her space without asking or anything. ‘it was nice to finally meet you too, lexa woods.’

she smiles with a single nod of her head and turns to walk toward her car.

‘wait,’ you say, jog a few steps.

she looks surprised, embarrassed, a little turned on, and you hand her your phone.

‘i need your number,’ you say, ‘if we’re gonna work together.’

‘of course,’ she says, and types it into your phone with thin, agile fingers and jesus fucking christ your mind thinks of some Things quickly. you have to swallow when she hands it back to you.

‘i’ll text you.’

‘goodnight, clarke,’ she says, walking to her car with a little wave.

one thing’s for sure: you know a lot of things about lexa woods, but you sure want to know more.

clarke griffin has had art in the MoMA and the tate, and in so many galleries you voluntarily lost track. she goes to the new school, has worked alongside multiple sexual assault support organizations, and primarily focuses on the female form—in all its varieties—and consent. she paints, sculpts, photographs.

she’s exquisite, you think, and undoubtedly brilliant, and then you’d met her and everything you’d accomplished in your life somehow seemed very small when her eyes were so blue and she was talking so openly about art, and her own work, and how she wants to be more inclusive and contemplative.

she, also, has been texting you for 12 days, which has been really great other than the fact your heart almost leaps out of your fucking chest each time you get a message, which is a lot because clarke is somehow able to produce incredible art at almost a superhuman rate and also text you back about the most random, mundane shit, like how dirty manhattan snow is, and her dad’s mild obsession with still trying to take her to the batting cages—she complains but she loves it, you can tell.

you wait a few days before mentioning that you’re going to be in the city over the weekend; you think modeling is not really where you should be devoting your time but anya insists that it’s making a difference and you get it, representation matters and all that, but you don’t want to do casting calls because you’re tired and have a 12 page paper on willa cather due tuesday, but whatever. it’s fun and you get the prettiest clothes you’ve ever seen and people fawn over your hair. you can handle a weekend.

when you tell clarke—finally, the wednesday before you head down on a friday—she’s casual and relaxed when she responds, asks you if you want to come by her studio if you have time on saturday night because there’s some friends coming for drinks and stuff. you have to snag anya from the library and talk it over first, not because you’re hesitant but because you’re nervous, but anya rolls her eyes and slings her arm over your shoulder and tells you to be safe and come back with details.

you go about your casting calls—some of which are really awesome, some of which are not, but nothing horrendous—before you’re outside the address clarke gave you, some huge building in bushwick with industrial doors and gigantic windows. you want to laugh because, of course, bushwick, but you do the breathing techniques you’ve practiced with your therapist. you used to have to do them a lot when you were really dysphoric, or when people would call you names or shove you into lockers, but now you’re on the cover of a magazine and maybe a pretty girl will kiss you tonight so.

there’s that, a great big fuck you to everyone who was shitty, you think, and it makes you smile.

the door buzzes and you walk up, bottle of really expensive champagne in hand—you’d been given it today, so that’s convenient—and then it’s loud and fantastic, a loft full of paintings and strings of fairy lights and a lot of queer people. you feel happy, and safe, and then clarke sees you and smiles, leaves the group of friends she was talking to and walks over.

she hesitates for a moment but then you pull her in for a hug, and she sinks into it. she smells so good, and her breath is warm against your neck.

she backs up and kind of sucks in a breath when she looks at you, and you do the same because wow, her lips are so pink and, whatever, sue you, that dress is doing heavenly things to her boobs.

‘i’m glad you made it,’ she says, after a few seconds of just staring, and you nod, then take off your coat and hand her the champagne. she looks at the label and then whistles. ‘you were with miu miu today, i guess.’

‘why would i lie about that?’ you ask with a laugh, following her to the kitchen to get two glasses.

‘to impress me,’ she says with a shrug, handing the bottle to you to pop. you do, carefully because it’s good champagne and it’s not worth wasting for flair, and she takes it back and pours.

‘i think my track record is already impressive enough.’

clarke laughs and hands you a glass. she clinks her with it and says, ‘it’s not terrible, i’ll give you that.’

you know a lot about lexa woods but now you know this: she is absolutely splendid beneath you, full of the kinds of dips and curves you’ve dreamt of sculpting your whole life. her lips are swollen and her eyes are hooded and green and her pupils are blown and her hair is fanned out all around her, and, like. she’s an actual goddess, topless in your bed, heaving with this smug little expression.

you’d kissed at the party, and then the next day after brunch while you walked through central park, and you’ve kissed a few times since.

but tonight it was just the two of you, after dinner near your apartment, quietly and you’d laughed as she’d fumbled with the button on your jeans, and your heart is pounding when your hands are above her waistband.

‘is this okay?’ you ask, softly, because the lights are soft and she’s soft and so beautiful.

she nods, then says, ‘yeah,’ then says, ‘yes,’ and you kiss her because, like, you’re a little bit in love with her.

you take her jeans off reverently, her underwear off slowly, and you catch yourself staring while she swallows. ‘is everything—are you—’

‘everything is perfect,’ you say, and the look of relief on her face is wonderful and kind of heartbreaking. ‘you’re perfect.’ she kisses you, pulls you toward her. you break it, though, because she’s about to cry and you really don’t want that. ‘also, i’m perfect, as you’ve told me a number of times now, so let’s not ruin that, okay?’

she laughs and sniffles but she nods, and you touch her, and she touches you, and, like, whatever.

it’s perfect.

it’s not the first time you’ve woken up in clarke’s bed, and it’s much the same: she’s awake, over by a huge canvas, in one of her dad’s old t-shirts, hair in a messy bun and usually barefoot, even in the winter. you put on your glasses and watch her contemplate which stroke to make next, which oil to press to the surface, what to bring to life.

she paints you, more than anything, especially this early. you watch her paint for a while, watch her get the green of your eyes right, watch her think carefully about your shoulders. she’s beautiful and she makes you feel venerated, seen, and you want to give that back to her, even though sometimes you don’t think you really know how.

you sigh and stretch and get out of bed, in a pair of her sleep shorts and a sweatshirt because she always runs warmer, and you’re always cold, and you kiss her forehead.

‘i’m really glad we’re incredible people,’ you say, to make her laugh, ‘so we met.’

‘i’m glad we met too, goof.’

‘i’m going to go get some bagels,’ you say, because you’re overwhelmed with the way she’s smiling at you.

‘okay,’ she says.

you get ready quickly, in comfortable quiet, while she paints.

‘lex?’ she says, as you’re grabbing your keys from the counter.

‘yeah?’

she looks at you, tilts her head like you’ve seen her do when she takes in rembrandt, or van gogh, or hadid.

‘i love you.’

you don’t know if you’ve literally ever been this happy. you stay rooted in place, because what else can you do? if you touch her right now you think you might explode.

you can tell her, though: ‘i love you too.’

you know a lot about lexa woods, including the way she says i love you, bathed in sunlight in your doorway, hair gathered on top of her head, wrists still in their panic and in their comfort.

she says it back again, laughing, and, whatever.

this is probably the coolest thing yet.

#here olivia happy new year karmas got its kiss for u ilovia u #possibilist #possibilistfanfiction #listen yall gotta read the 21 under 21 issue lol #clexa fanfiction #trans lexa #anyway if ur shitty abt trans lexa i will block u so yknow dont be #:)

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that-one--book-nerd · 7 years

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MAGNUS FIGURES OUT HIS SEXUALITY

THIS ALSO INCLUDES:

MAGNUS LEARNING ABOUT SEXUALITIES

FIERROCHASE

FLUFF

AAAHHH I’M REALLY PROUD OF THIS! I HOPE Y’ALL ENJOY!!

Magnus Chase somehow managed to shower all the chocolate off of himself, but he couldn’t wash off the sensation he felt on his lips.

In fact, he never wanted to.

He put on a fresh set of clothes and laid down on his bed, staring up at Yggdrasil, the World Tree, and thought about Alex Fierro.

He thought about his badassery in every way, shape, and form—in every sense of each of those words. No matter if Alex was a girl or a guy, Magnus finally admitted to himself something he already knew, but couldn’t quite believe himself until now.

“I’m in love with Alex Fierro.”

The words felt amazing yet foreign to say. He had crushed on Alex since she arrived at Hotel Valhalla all those months ago, but he never really realized what those weird fuzzy feelings in his stomach were until Alex kissed him under the blanket in Niflheim, and suddenly, everything became a thousand times clearer. Even after the second kiss, Magnus still couldn’t quite fathom the idea that Alex might actually like him back.

Magnus touched a couple of fingers to his lips to make sure they were still there and thought about what Alex had said.

“I need some space, Chase.”

Magnus decided that that was reasonable.

I mean, I did kind of just say that her kissing me is the best thing to ever happen to me, Magnus thought to himself. And on a boat made of dead people’s toenails, surrounded by giants. Yep. Super romantic.

Magnus thought about everything before deciding something for himself:

I need some space too. But first, Alex Fierro.

He thought about how Alex would call him stupid if he heard Magnus’s somewhat contradicting thoughts, but the thought of Alex made Magnus’s cheeks flush and his stomach buzz.

Magnus got out of bed and headed towards Alex’s door and knocked. When Alex opened it, he gave Magnus a face that said: really?

“Magnus, what part of ‘I need space’ and ‘I’ll get back to you’ did you not understand? Do you want me to explain it to you like you’re two?”

“Hello to you too, Alex. Listen, I understand you need space, and I’m completely okay with that. I just came here to tell you that I need a bit of space too, just to figure things out, okay?”

Alex nodded and crossed his arms.

“That’s fair.”

“B-but I also don’t want us to completely ignore each other,” Magnus continued, feeling himself getting flustered. Alex smiled, which did anything but calm down the wild party that was happening inside of Magnus’s chest.

“Aww, you’re so cute when you’re smitten and flustered!” Alex said, pinching Magnus’s cheek and laughing. Magnus’s face only became more red.

“I hate you,” Magnus said, trying to be seriously sarcastic but smirking.

Alex smirked back. “I hate you too.”

Magnus got lost in Alex’s eyes before he remembered what he was going to say.

“Oh, one more thing: can I borrow that book with all the BLT terms?”

“Did you mean that book with all the LGBTQIA+ terms?”Alex asked, rolling his eyes and smiling. “I do tend to have the power to make people question their sexuality. Here, I’ll go get it.”

Alex returned carrying a decent-sized book that had been well-used and well-loved. The cover was covered in colors and stickers, and the title read: The Queer Alphabet: A Guide to LGBT and Everything In Between. It looked like it was written in silver holographic glitter that made rainbows when you moved it.

“If you damage this book in any way, shape, or form, I will not hesitate to kill you.”

Magnus sensed that despite the fact that they were einheirji in Valhalla and could easily reincarnate, Alex was not being completely sarcastic.

“This is the book that helped me figure out who I am. I got it from my abuelo,” Alex whispered, not meeting Magnus’s eyes. Magnus gently patted Alex’s arm.

“Thank you for sharing this with me, Alex.”

Alex Fierro smiled and Magnus’s stomach was about to explode with happiness, rainbows, unicorns, and falafels.

“I hope it helps you as much as it helped me,” Alex said before closing the door and leaving Magnus staring at the polished brown wood.

Magnus returned to his room, plopped down on his bed, and opened the book. On the inside of the book was a note, written in what looked Spanish. After being homeless and looking at Mexican restaurant menus for two years and hanging out with Alex for the past few months, Magnus was just able to read the note:

My Dear Alex, I hope this book helps you figure out who you are. No matter what, never stop being the amazing person you are, and don’t be afraid of change. With love, Abuelo.

The last few words of the last sentence were underlined in neon pink pen, and in the same color, just below the note, was another note (in Spanish) that read:

I won’t.

Magnus softly smiled at the little exchange.

As Magnus flipped through the book, he felt like he was discovering a whole new world. He knew, of course, that non-straight and non-cisgender people existed, but he never truly knew how many types of non-straight/cisgender people there were. As he went along the book, he noticed little notes written in the margins with neon colored pens and definitions highlighted in either pink or green. He also made a list on a separate sheet of paper with a list of sexualities and romantic orientations (something else he previously did not know existed) that he could possibly be:

Aromantic: yEaH tOtAlLy (no)

Asexual: hmmm, probably not

Bisexual: maybe probably?

Demisexual: I know this doesn’t have anything to do with demigods but I bet Percy’s demisexual (but I’m not)

Gay/Homosexual: It would probably be hard for me to be attracted to only one (1) gender with Alex Fierro being genderfluid

Heterosexual: LMAO NAH BRO

Lesbian (see: gay/homosexual): not even close

Magnus kept flipping through the book until he came across a term that, when he read its definition, made his heart vibrate for a second.

Pansexual: Attraction to people regardless of gender; attraction to all genders.

Magnus looked at the pink, yellow, and light blue striped flag that was next to the word.

Suddenly, he felt right.

~~~~~

The next morning, Magnus returned the book. At least, he tried to. When he knocked on Alex’s door, there was no response. Magnus took a post-it note and wrote a note on it and stuck it to Alex’s door. Deciding it would be better and safer if he kept the book in his room rather than leave it on the floor in a hotel full of regularly-dying-and-fighting dead people, Magnus went back to his room to prepare for the day’s battle. He had just taken his shirt off when he heard a voice behind him.

“What is it with you and not closing the door before you change your clothes?”

Alex Fierro leaned against Magnus’s door frame wearing a pink and green chain-mail sweater vest with dark green jeans.

Magnus felt the blood rushing to his face.

“I—uh—” was all he could stutter out.

“Gods, Magnus…” Alex said as she rolled her eyes—Magnus realized that Alex was now female—and smiled up at the ceiling.

“At least you’re not covered in chocolate,” Alex finished, her heterochromatic eyes sparkling.

Magnus couldn’t think of anything to add, so he decided to do what he did best: awkwardly change the topic.

“Thanks for letting me borrow the book,” he started. “It really helped.”

Alex smiled fondly and genuinely, and Magnus nearly melted on the spot.

“I’m glad,” Alex said, walking towards Magnus and pulling out a crumpled-up post-it note from her jean pockets. Magnus realized it was the one he had left for her.

“I’m guessing you’ve decided on…hmm…asexual?” Alex tried to hold back a laugh (and failed to do so) as she and Magnus looked at the bad drawing of a pan with “oh no I’m attracted to kitchen stuff” written next to it. Magnus couldn’t help but join in.

“You do know what pansexual means, right?” Alex asked, still laughing.

“Yeah,” Magnus replied.

“Good, because I’m pansexual too.”

Magnus couldn’t stop the giddy feeling that exploded in his chest.

“I know it’s none of my business, and you don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to or whatever, but what’s your romantic orientation?” Alex asked, calming down.

“Probably panromantic as well. Can that be different than my sexuality?”

“Oh yeah, totally. I know people who are asexual but biromantic, pansexual but aromantic, et cetera, et cetera.”

“Cool,” Magnus remarked. “What’s your romantic orientation?”

“I’m panromantic too.”

“Cool,” Magnus said.

The duo stood awkwardly next to each other before Magnus realized what Alex wanted.

“Here’s your book,” he said, getting it from his bed and handing it to Alex. “I promise I didn’t damage it.”

“You better not have,” Alex said with a smirk as she turned around and began walking to the door. “I’ll see you on the battlefield, Chase.”

“See ya then, Fierro.”

Alex looked back and smiled before closing the door behind her.

~~~~~

The battle was a bloodbath.

The daily battles always were, but it was especially bloody today.

Everything Magnus could see was tainted red due to the blood dripping down his head. He felt light and heavy all at the same time and he could feel himself about to die. He called upon his healing powers and was rejuvenated just enough for his vision to become clear again and for him to have enough self-awareness to see what was happening no more than ten feet in front of him.

Alex was fighting—and losing to—a berserker from Floor 432. Magnus noticed that the berserker’s spear was about to impale Alex.

He started running towards the two fighters. Despite knowing that death in Hotel Valhalla was temporary, the thought of Alex dying and him not doing anything to stop it made Magnus sick.

Magnus gathered up the little strength he had left, and at the last second, he threw himself between the spear and Alex.

The spear impaled him straight through the heart.

The last thing Magnus heard was Alex screaming, and the last thing that he saw was Alex beginning to cry as she beheaded the berserker with her garrote.

~~~~~

Magnus woke up hours later in his bed, his scars from the day’s battle in the last stages of healing.

He attempted to sit up in bed and grunted at the pain in his chest.

“Lie back down, idiot.”

Magnus’s eyes adjusted and he saw that Alex Fierro was standing over him, his eyebrows knitted together with what was either worry or concentration.

Magnus noticed that Alex had shifted genders again and was now male.

“I’m fine,” Magnus said, wincing at the pain.

“Like Hel you are,” Alex responded, rolling his eyes.

Magnus sighed as he asked, “Why are you here? Not that I don’t want you here or anything, I just—”

“I waited for you to wake up, idiot,” Alex responded, crossing his arms across his chest.

Magnus let the fact that Alex Fierro had waited for Magnus to wake unsettle in. His heart felt like it would burst out of his chest.

“Listen,” Magnus said as he started to explain himself.

“About what happened on the battlefield—I know you said you needed space—”

“Magnus—”

“—and I understand that completely, but I just—”

“Magnus—”

“I couldn’t just stand there and watch you die!”

“Dude, I’m already dead.”

“You know what I meant.”

The two einherjar stared at each other.

“I get that you need space—”

“Magnus, please—”

“But—”

Magnus was cut off by Alex Fierro leaning down and kissing him.

As Magnus closed his eyes, he suddenly forgot what he was saying.

Though it caused his shoulders to scream in pain, Magnus reached up and gently took hold of Alex’s head.

When the couple broke apart, Magnus noticed that Alex’s gender had shifted to female.

“You’re—you’re a girl now,” Magnus noted.

Alex smiled and nodded.

“Neat. I didn’t know that kissing a genderfluid einherjar caused their gender to change.”

Alex laughed and held one of Magnus’s hands against her face

“I thought you needed space?” Magnus asked, rubbing his thumb against Alex’s face.

“I got my space, Chase,” Alex said, kissing him again.

“I’m ready when you are.”

Magnus couldn’t (and didn’t try to) stop the smile that beamed across his face. He leaned forward and kissed Alex again.

Magnus backed slightly away, stared at Alex’s eyes, and smiled again.

“Bring it on, Fierro.”

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