#there was also so many people out in the streets i have legit recognized the scent of human sweat and breath i only know of

[fly-sky-high-09]

If not for a good company I feel like I would have snapped and ripped someone's head off while out in public today

[obsessivestar]

'What If It's All A RomCom?' - a Ted Nivison x Reader.

{{-Story Description: You're a youtuber with a fairly decent following deciding to help your good friend Tanner with a minor film project, with you set as the leading lady. When the actor for the male lead is a no show, Ted takes up the role himself. One problem: This short film's a Rom Com, and you just met the guy.-}}

//18+, Def gonna be some smut. Reader is implied to be afab, under 5'5 and has specifically named friends, all who have no real connection to Ted.

This story will be in multiple chapters. Also gonna post this on Wattpad and Ao3 (when I figure them out LMAO) under the same username: ObsessiveStarla. Hope you enjoy :^)

Also idk how to do all the fancy Tumblr border stuff so sorry if it's all messy :^(((//

Word count: 2.3k

Chapter 1: No Show, No Movie.

I'm keeping my eye on the road, occasionally glancing at the GPS to make sure I can guide my buddy Tanner as he drives. We had quite an early morning to get to L.A., having been on the road for the last 2 hours to get to this airbnb we'll be staying at. Tanner's nearing the end of film school, so he's getting all his classmates and anyone else that's available and interested to help him with his big final project: A legit short film, filmed, written and directed by him. Having some experience with being on camera myself, he elected to make me part of the main cast. I don't mind at all, if it'll help him out. Even if it's a romantic comedy. I'll kiss some dude, get him that 100%. I'm excited for this.

"Has Conner messaged me at all?" Tanner asks, breaking the last 20 minutes of silence. I quit out of my daydream to check Tanner's messages. Other members of the crew have updated them on their location, including a name I don't recognize, but Conner hasn't responded at all.

"Nope. Mostly everyone else is nearly there though." I responded, lightly shrugging my shoulders. A humorous but knowing smirk creeps along the edges of my lips. "Think he slept in?" "I fucking hope not." Tanner huffs, his tone suggesting he's half-joking. "He is literally /the/ male lead. He's like one of the people I need there the most today."

I put the GPS back up on the screen and lay back against the passenger seat, slightly raising a brow to myself. What would happen if he's late, or doesn't show up at all? Could we even get a replacement in time? We only booked this place for the next couple weeks.

As we get off the highway and get even closer to our destination, I see a notification pop up on Tanner's phone, it's the name I don't recognize. Ted. He's not in our friend group and I don't recall Tanner mentioning him from class.

"Is Ted a new guy?" I ask, turning my head to Tanner. "Oh, no, he's like...a friend of a friend." Tanner pauses before reiterating "He's going to be the editor. He's a youtuber, like you; he went to film school as well."

"Oh. He's like the only name I didn't recognize."

"Yeah, he's a cool guy, no worries, he'll probably be there with me to help with the, yknow, directing too."

There's room for a response, but I don't continue the conversation. We don't have a lot of money to put into this, so that airBnb is also where we'll be filming everything. Most of the film crew and extra actors got their own accommodations elsewhere, but some of us will be staying /at that/ location itself. Wonder if that includes the editor? It'd be weird to share a house with a dude I didn't know, but if Tanner trusts him, I will as well. "I know where to go from here, let everyone know we'll be there soon."

I take Tanner's phone and let everyone know we're close by, including Ted, before setting the phone aside. Tanner pulls into what I thought was a street at first, only to notice its the driveway of the airbnb. Wild how we can't afford multiple sets and hotels, but can afford this villa-like estate for nearly a month. Hey, whatever works, right?

Tanner parks by the many other vehicles and grabs his phone before we both hop out. I can't help but look up at how tall the building is. It looks like one of those frat houses an influencer would own, like if you told me this was owned by fuckin' 'disney channel flow' Team 10, I would 100% believe you.

Tanner and I are greeted by most of the cast and crew as we approach the front door of the house, giving the appropriate hugs and handshakes as we head inside. That's when I spotted a tall man in a dark green sweater fixing up some professional looking cameras, dark hair slicked up to add to his already impressive height, with circular glasses to match the relaxed vibe I'm getting from him. To be fair, he only stands out so much to me because I don't recognize him. This must be Ted.

He looks up from his camera when he spots Tanner and I greeting the other crew members. I casually glance away to one of the pictures on the wall to avoid giving the impression I was staring. I have a habit of fixing my eyes onto people without realizing it.

"Traffic?" Is the first word I hear out of Ted's mouth, directed at Tanner. I don't really know what I was expecting to hear come out of this man, but it certainly wasn't a voice like that. It's strong, deep, almost fake sounding, like he's already playing a character, but no, that's just him.

"Dude, we passed by, like, 3 accidents" Tanner shakes his head slightly, putting his hands on his hips. "And Conner hasn't even gotten back to me, It's been an interesting morning."

As they have their conversation, my thoughts turn to a more curious nature as I contemplate what this guy actually does as a youtuber. If he went to film school as well, does he make long video essays? Commentary, like me?

"This is (Y/N), mine and Joe's friend." My thoughts are cut by the sound of my name, realizing Tanner was introducing me to Ted. Makes sense. We don't know each other. "She's gonna be the female lead."

"Ahhh okay, nice to finally meet you. I'm Ted." Ted personally greets me with a gentle handshake and a winning complexion. I return the handshake with a shy smile. "'Finally'?" I repeat to him, raising a slight brow.

"Yeah! Joe's told me about you, 'said you'd be shorter"

A sudden chuckle escapes me. Joe's my best friend and is part of the wardrobe team, of course he'd say something like that. "He's a dick.." I kid, shaking my head to myself. "You, on the other hand, are a fuckin' giant."

"Oh I know. I have to fuckin' duck down to get into any room upstairs. Tallhood ain't what its cut out to be" We both get a laugh out before Ted returns to setting up the cameras. I notice Tanner checking his phone again, visibly both anxious and frustrated.

"Man." Tanner speaks, seemingly thinking aloud. "Still nothing." "Isn't he the other lead?" Ted speaks as he moves to adjust the stand of one of the lights, glancing up through his round glasses. "I figured he'd be here first."

"He should've been here first." Tanner huffs, masking his clear frustration with a chuckle. "I-I don't know what I'm gonna do if he just doesn't show." "What would we have to do?" I tilt my head at Tanner, feeling a little anxious myself.

"I have no idea, honestly" Tanner responds, shaking his head. "At best, we'd have to find someone to take his place within the next, like, couple days. At worst, I'd have to cancel this whole thing."

I frown, trying to think of some helpful alternative in my head, but nothing comes up. I'd hate for everyone to have to go home, and getting the money back for the airbnb would be a hassle. We all pitched in for this place. As much as I've joked about it, it's pretty nice. 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, half the place is a giant living room and there's even more outside. I'd hate to leave without getting to sleep in one of those giant beds. All I can do is hope for the best, I guess.

About an hour passes. At this point, everyone except Conner has shown up on set and most of us that will be on camera are fitted and ready. We had already read through the entire script together over Discord prior to getting here, so all we need to do is just start filming.

I'm refreshing my memory with the script when I hear a notification ping from Tanner's phone. It takes him less than a second to pick it up and look at the message, pausing to read it. I see his expression go from relief to uneasy, his thumbs tapping on his phone's keyboard louder than usual as he responds before setting his phone down and taking a deep breath.

"Conner can't make it."

Silence fills the room for a moment as everyone looks up from their tasks. I approach Tanner, script still on hand.

"What? What does he mean he can't make it?" I asked, honestly shocked with what I was hearing. "So, yknow how he's just...not been responding since we left?" Tanner asks, looking understandably annoyed.

"Yeah?"

"Apparently he ate some bad food last night and has been throwing up since 4am. We left at 5."

The only thing I can do is run my fingers through my hair in frustration. Dude probably ordered bad chicken or something. Of course. "So our main dude, THE male leading role or whatever, has food poisoning." I say that as a statement, but I'm honestly just so confused, I don't want to believe it. "What do we do now? Could we hire someone else in time?" "Even if we could, we wouldn't have time to get the chemistry built up between you two." Tanner shrugs. "There'd be no way of knowing if it'll work out."

"I'll do it."

Tanner and I turn our heads to Ted, who's joined in on the conversation shortly after assembling the last light. My first instinct is to let out a sigh of relief, but I steel myself, trying to really process what he's offering.

"You? You wanna be the male lead?" Tanner points at Ted, rather surprised he'd offer. Ted seemed to laugh at the expression on Tanner's face "What's that fuckin' look for? You think I can't be romantic, Tanner?" "No--" Tanner cackles, putting his palms up defensively as he laughed. "That's not it! I just-- you haven't read the script, and, yknow..." Tanner pauses, shrugging his shoulders and tilting his head in my direction. "You two just met, you'll have to, yknow--"

"'Yknow? Yknow?' I KNOW, Tanner. I. know." Ted begins to mock Tanner in a friendly manner while pointing at himself, his strong voice easily overpowering Tanner's timid tone. "I've been doin' this since you were in little baby diapers, alright? I can read the script, I can kiss the pretty lady, I got this!"

I suddenly feel a whole lot warmer, resisting the urge to put a hand to my cheek. I mean, I have blush on already, but now I'm definitely blushing. I'll have to kiss this guy?

I mean.

That ain't a bad thing.

That's a nice lookin' dude. I'd be blind not to see it.

But I did just meet him.

"I mean...." Tanner seems to be at a loss for words, glancing in my direction once more. I realize I've been one of the main talking pieces of this conversation, yet I haven't spoken a word. "Ah--I.." I stammer out what was meant to be a coherent response, realizing I'm a bit more sheepish about this than I thought I'd be. He called me pretty. I...don't know what to do with that. I can handle a compliment, sure, but this was...

"Hey, sorry, I don't wanna step over any lines..." Ted's smile faded after my lack of a response, resting his hands behind his back. "Oh no! I-I wouldn't mind it at all." I finally managed to speak up. I swear, I felt like a bashful damsel in those old transatlantic-accent films. "I mean, like, better this than sending everyone packing early, right?"

"Real flattering." Ted responded with a renewed smile and a chuckle, getting another sheepish blush from me. "Whatever works for everyone, I'm down for it."

Based on Tanner's knowing expression, I can tell he gathered something of use from whatever that exchange was. "I mean..." Tanner repeats again, as if to remind us he's also there with filler words before taking in a sharp breath of realization, or maybe it was one of acceptance, I couldn't tell. Either way, he had an idea. "OK, how about this: most of the crew didn't get breakfast on the way up here and we're all gettin' pretty hungry, we could use some caffeine. How about you two head back out and get everyone something from Dunkin' or wherever? Get talkin', see if it works."

"You setting us up on a breakfast run, or a date?" I collect myself fast enough to make a joke, actually getting a decent chuckle out of Ted. Part of me couldn't believe I had even made that joke aloud, I was also kind of genuinely asking. "I am testing the chemistry." Tanner clarified slowly with a half smile. "And I...don't want to do it myself."

Ted and I look at each other, giving me a brief moment to realize Ted's eyes are brown. Don't know why I've chosen to collect that information now. Just another observation I've made for the day.

...Man, I'm hungry.

"Alright, but I'm not driving your car." I agree with a shrug. "No need, I got my Tacoma." Ted responds, making a clicking noise with his mouth and gesturing me to follow him outside.

"You...have your city in Washington?" I ask genuinely, getting another laugh out of him, not intentionally this time. "Toyota Tacoma. My truck." He corrects me, guiding me to an old dark green pick-up truck. "I've had this baby since high school. Graduated with it."

"Ahh, your high school sweetheart. Lovely. Happy to meet her."

"Fuck off" Ted jokingly scoffs, hopping into the drivers seat. I have this big grin on my face as I get into the passenger side. He's giving me this...oddly comforting vibe. I can talk and joke with this guy so naturally, like I've known him for longer than an hour.

Somehow, I get the feeling we'll get along just fine, even if I'll end up having to kiss him once or twice this month....

....That's got me thinking, how many times am I kissing this guy again?

__________________________________

|| Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 (smut) || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 (smut) || Chapter 11 ||

[sweetswesf]

I got a lot done yesterday. Finally got to go to the gym, first of this week. Almost done with my workout, then this buff dude is walking in my direction. I didn’t realize it was a dude from my past…

I met him originally in the street on one of my errand runs. He was on a bike and I knew he wasn’t from here because attractive Black men who are not from the projects here or didn’t grow up typically are with a non-Black woman or trying to avoid all possible eye-contact with Black women.

He was kind of hurried with his proposal for us to hang out that weekend. He was kind of weird looking, but kind of attractive and my standards were on the ground at that moment in my life, so albeit apprehensive, I looked forward to what may be in store. Conversation got sexual fast (red flag), but unfortunately at that point, that’s what I grew to expect. I’ve rarely had guys I’ve been interested in court me.

We texted and I did my research. Found his non-Black girlfriend and Facebook with his real name. The significance of me mentioning that his girlfriend was not Black is because he was QUICK to talk about my Blackness, how Black people have to stick together, blah blah blah. Basically pandering, all while…anyway chile…

I told him I found the stuff and he went bezzerk. I wish I kept that scarring text message but I recently purged all contacts and message histories of things that no longer serve me (I highly recommend). He would say he wants to do something nasty to me, then degrade me when I told him I don’t mess with liars. I blocked his number and he texted me from another. Dude was nuts. You would think I was the one that lied to him or if we saw each other more than once. I was legit scared in these San Francisco streets because I have 0 human protection. I just need Jesus, but also people who stay close to Jesus also get touched, so I admit I was a bit fearful. I even moved away for a little bit after that initial contact with him happened (he wasn’t the reason, but I was glad to get out) but I ended up right back here. That initial encounter happened in 2021.

I saw a dude in the gym a few months ago this year that looked like him, but since I only saw him in person once (but photo many times), didn’t have my glasses on, and I try not to look men in the gym in the face fully, I didn’t think nor want to believe it was him…but after yesterday, I realized it was. Yesterday happened after I said in words how I don’t like to be at the gym late being one of the only women there and out & about on public transportation at night, but it’s hard for me to do mornings because I am EXHAUSTED after workouts and wouldn’t get work done. I’m starting to run out all my options of times and gyms! Also a reminder that my time is running out on San Francisco (but hopefully it’s to go to NY with my new top choice job).

Anyway chile, I was on the tricep dip bar. He found the perfect time to corner me I guess. He hung on the opposite side of the bar. He was VERY friendly, which was a huge shift from how our last conversation went. It caught me very off guard. I didn’t know if I was protected in that moment. Dude is not much taller than me, but is really buff. Could easily choke me out Lmdao. Anyway…

He was looking at me as he was walking toward me, but I avoided eye contact and I thought he was just trying to check me out and then pass. When he waved and got in front of me. He asked me how I’ve been and it was only then did I realize it was him, which is strange for me because I don’t forget a face. I usually would be able to recognize him immediately, but I’m noticing from this and recent social events, I’m getting worse at this…maybe all the trauma my brain is erasing memories to protect me! Lol okay in all seriousness…

He complimented me on my hair like he did the 1st time, which, like I said, for Black men out here is RARE, but he’s from Atlanta and things are…different. I still don’t know what this man does y’all, how old he is, etc. The conversation went similarly to our very first one where he was talking about not really liking it here and Black people sticking together. He playfully hit my arm and I tensed up a bit. He asked if I was nervous and I was like “Uhh yeah, considering how our last convo went.” He said, “You took it well. You were really calm. I was testing the waters.” I confirmed further at that point from that response that I was in danger & that I would probably need to go another gym or to this gym at a different time and change my schedule again.

This gym has the most availability since they’ve closed a lot of their other locations in the city & I have no car. It’s also my cheapest option for the gym. I pay for the whole year here what I would pay in a month at other places, and with a job, adding MORE expenses at this point is a no go.

I told him I needed an apology from him. He did and asked if he could hug me, I said no. He asked if he could shake my hand. He did. He asked why my handshake was so strong and kept my hand in both of his for a little while. The whole time I was thinking how tf can I get out of this? I’m already one of two Black women and one of maybe a handful of women in general on this crowded ass level. He asked if I had his number and I told him “No. I blocked you a long time ago.” He asked for my number, so I grabbed for my phone. He told me to wait and ran a little ways away to grab his phone so I could put mine in his instead. He called me right in front of me and didn’t hang up. I knew he didn’t because I was surprised with a minute long voicemail from him of the background noise during our conversation after I walked away.

He asked what I was doing tomorrow. I told him working. He asked when I was getting off. I forgot my working is studying, but didn’t want to invite him into my reality of unemployment. I don’t even want to be standing in front of you, I don’t even think I need to give you any real details so I didn’t even have the patience to correct him. I just said 6. Again, I don’t know what this man is capable of or what his response will be because he’s obviously not taking social queues, not even after I confirmed the nervousness he picked up and asked him to apologize.

He said, “let’s go grab some tequila,” which was very similar to our 1st conversation where he asked me out to drink. Trust him? Inebriated at that? ABSOLUTELY NOT. This man give me “I put something in your drink without you knowing” vibes TOTALLY. Or “let me take you home now that you’re drunk af”. No, no, no, no. I don’t even want that energy around me.

He gives me very uneasy. I feel uneasy around him. The first conversation in 2021 and the one yesterday, both felt like a distraction sent to me from the devil himself. He’s got a lying spirit. But since I go to that gym, what do I do? Ignore his texts so he can approach me again asking why. If I tell him to leave me alone, I have no clue what that will turn into because he knows where I frequent now? I’ve tried ignoring someone I had to see at work, and they did not let the office prevent them from getting enraged, approaching me, etc. HR did nothing. Do I tell someone? A stranger ain’t getting involved with this. I know one cousin that would MAYBE protect me, but he doesn’t live here. I have stopped trying to make friends here because I have no time to invest in a new friendship right now. Barely even time to invest in the ones I have.

All in all, it serves as more motivation TO GET OUT OF MY SITUATION AND GET A JOB! Hopefully, it’s an omen like last time that a move to NY is coming soon!

Resist the devil of distraction, y’all.

This morning, 9:15 AM: no good morning, no greeting, just a shirtless video of him exercising in the gym with the grey sweats obviously showing a HUGE print. You are supposed to wear clothes in the gym. He is trying to show off and it makes me want to throw up in my mouth a bit. I am repulsed. The guy is a rule breaker and is very chaotic. The guy looks great, but I am also extremely turned off & terrified. It is about him & what he wants, and quite frankly, at my big age & the tribulations in life I’m going through, I have no time for it…Get AWAY from me devil…

[floralovebot]

Helia and Tecna friendship headcanons? -lambofzenith

AHHHHHHHHHH okay so

helia is really bad at technology right? pretty much anything that isn't covered in red fountain lessons, he's a complete no-go at. tecna takes it upon herself to try and help him understand basic technology a bit more and it goes so wrong. helia is literally the mom that squints their eyes and holds their phone away from their face while using One pointer finger to type everything. tecna hates it so much.

helia naturally doesn't understand a single thing that comes out of her mouth when she's talking technology but he still supports her nonetheless

helia is surprisingly rational most of the time! he's a firm Push All My Emotions Down And Then One Day I'll Die kind of person so even during really stressful missions, he's good at keeping a level head about things. tecna really appreciates this and it's not rare to see her, helia, and timmy discussing mission-related strategies During The Middle Of A Fight

tecna has a tendency to talk while she works (only noticeable around people she's comfortable with though) but she gets a little self-conscious about it. she knows it's not Bad or anything, but it doesn't seem Right either so she tries to keep quiet most of the time. helia on the other hand is so used to working while it's noisy that he's totally chill with it. they've gotten used to just vibing in the same room, working on their own things, and not actually talking to each other during it. they're comfortable around each other :) helia doesn't mind when she rambles out loud and tecna doesn't mind him pacing around the room every five minutes. symbiotic relationship.

tecna doesn't like talking about what she went through in the omega dimension, even with timmy. however, she does occasionally draw things out when she really needs to vent and can't think of any other way how. she's always been good at sketching due to her background in designing gadgets so this wasn't a weird transition for her. helia told her about this anonymous place for artists to submit their art with absolutely no names attached and after checking to make sure it was legit and she was completely safe, she started to submit one or two a year. she doesn't like to do it often but it does help to sort of "get it out" without actually talking about it.

while helia is notoriously Bad at video games, he does actually like the more "physical reality" ones (think that virtual reality tecmy scene!) mainly because it feels close enough to real life that he doesn't need to rely on just technology to do it. tecna and helia often have very competitive gaming matches but specifically within those kinds of games otherwise, he's really bad at it and she gets annoyed that he can't remember any of the buttons.

speaking of competitions, helia has an inner bet going on of How Much Can I Pretend To Not Know Jackshit About A Specific Technological Topic Before Tecna Notices. what he doesn't know, is that tecna knows he does this and has her own inner bet of How Long Can I Explain This Specific Topic Before Helia Gets Bored And Moves On. so far, the score is mostly even, with helia only winning because timmy isn't aware of this mental battle and will often jump in to explain things too. helia is very smug about this and tecna can't say anything to timmy otherwise she loses the fight that no one actually set firm rules on.

timmy is just really happy that his two best friends are also friends and sometimes he tries to invite helia and flora on their dates. tecna is okay with this only because she thinks it's funny. florelia were also okay with it but started to not be because they realized that their version of a date and tecmy's version of a date was extremely different. they've started to come up with increasingly ridiculous excuses for why they can't go and so far timmy is the only one that hasn't noticed. poor timmy, he genuinely thinks flora's best friend cactus is sick and needs care 😔

when timmy isn't available, helia will call tecna for any technology related issues he's having. on one hand, she likes that he trusts her and can rely on her, on the other hand, she's told him ten separate times not to leave his computer running all the damn time. (tecna: please turn the computer off when you're not using it. this will immensely help solve all of the problems you've been having. helia: okay so i'm gonna leave it on all the time?). he's not trying to be difficult though. he just forgets everything and assumes it should work regardless (he a little stupit).

roxy gets so much gender envy from both of them and it confuses her all the time. they have no idea what a gender envy is though and they're mostly just wondering how they stop giving it to roxy since it seems like it agitates her??? help please???? researching the matter doesn't help and it ends up becoming a meme on winx stan twt because tecna made a very official and serious post asking about the severity of "gender envy" and needing to know how contagious it is. now whenever either of them posts, earth teens just comment gender envy at them. helia still doesn't know what it means.

they don't watch movies/tv together but they will binge-watch the same shows and then talk about them later on. tecna's formatting is still very formal and functional meanwhile helia bounces off multiple points and forgets to make a conclusion. he stresses her out so much.

helia notices when tecna has stayed up too long for too many nights and will occasionally send her a "please sleep" message when he knows timmy is already asleep and can't do it. she doesn't always listen but sometimes she will, but not before sending the same message back because why the fuck is he up at this hour huh dumbass?????

tecna has a pet bird and helia has multiple cats and they absolutely cannot be in the same room together. her bird is constantly trying to fight his cats and while they're usually well behaved, he's genuinely scared they're gonna try to eat it (tecna: stop calling my bird an "it"; helia: stop putting your bird near my cats 😐)

they actually don't like hanging out when one of them is upset. they both have a hard time talking about their emotions (for different reasons obviously) and they always end up feeling like they have to say something when they're together. they just really prefer hanging when they're both in a good mood or at least calm. whenever one of them gets upset, they stop hanging out together until that person feels better.

connected to the last point, you'd think that would mean they don't know a lot about each other, but they surprisingly do! they're both relatively observant people (tecna gets better every year) and they're actually really good at figuring out why the other is upset and what would help. they just don't talk about it.

although, on a similar note, the one time they did have an emotional talk, it was about timmy. tecna was feeling upset again and worrying over whether or not she's "too logical/not emotional enough" and it was the one time where she actually allowed herself to hang out with him while being upset. they had a genuine heart to heart about things and especially about how she's way too hard on herself. they thought it would be awkward since they actively avoided this kind of thing but it wasn't! it went very naturally and helia even teared up a bit. he's very proud of her and the effort she makes every day and since that talk has been much more vocal about it.

when they went to earth in s4, they both spent way too much time learning about Earth Things; tecna about earth media (canon), and helia about animals since that's what flora was talking about. he started calling tecna "chip" after that because chipmunks reminded him of her. she disagrees with this assessment and he refuses to admit he mixed up chipmunks and squirrels. he still calls her chip to this day, and fortunately, it's grown on her. unfortunately, he calls timmy "chip" too, and now it's a hassle to figure out who he's talking to.

helia is surprisingly interested in zenith technology despite not understanding it all! he enjoys walking through the streets of zenith with tecna while she proudly points things out so he can go "ooo aaa" at everything. sometimes she tries to explain how things work and his mind starts playing elevator music automatically. tecna has gotten really good at knowing when helia is just. brain empty no thoughts because she recognizes the Empty look in his eyes. she enjoys catching it live and trying to figure out why he's just. not thinking (usually it's because he either doesn't understand something or got bored) (this happens often when sky starts talking) (sorry sky)

tecna is one of the winx (besides flora of course) that helia trusts the most. not in an emotional or friend way, but in a physical, we're on a mission way. she has good control of her magic and knows how to use it. she's good at thinking of strategies and applying them properly to the situation. and after the omega dimension, he had a newfound respect for her previously unknown to him survival skills. if he were even in severe danger, she would be the first winx he'd call (depending on the situation, she is occasionally ahead of flora).

helia is really bad at sharing details. he tends to go straight to the conclusion but doesn't share how he got there (adhd king 😌) and tecna is the best person to call in when this happens. her logical questioning makes it seem so easy because she has the patience and knowledge to connect the dots and ask the right questions. when anyone else tries its more like (helia: i'm sitting in a pool of blood; person: uhm do you know where it's coming from?; helia: probably the stab wound; someone: did you get stabbed??; helia: oh yeah definitely.)

[anyoneseenadam]

Home: chapter one

azriel x reader (acotar) 

summary: (y/n) is a daughter of Persephone, still recovering from the trauma of her fall into Tartarus and doesn’t have time for a stupid, handsome, annoying, stunning, injured man. But now they’re stuck together in the middle of nowhere and there only chance of getting home is if she can heal him, and fast. 

warnings: big spoilers for mark of Athena and house of Hades, also some for the acotar series, eventual smut, blood, PTSD, graphic descriptions of violence, injuries and torture, enemies to lovers so az is a bit of a dick to start, swearing

word count: 2.8k 

a/n: this is the first proper fic I have written in so so so long and i’m legit nervous to post it so pls be nice, plus feedback is always appreciated. there are more parts to come, I’m not sure how many yet but i’m going to try post regularly! message me if you wanna be tagged and i’m gonna try figure out how to make a masterlist :) 

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The view from your window was beautiful yet haunting. Your eyes roamed over countless wildflowers, yet your stare would linger on a poppy or a Red Admiral butterfly and you were back there. You were tied down and crying, body and brain equally numb until another searing lash stripped your back of flesh, white-hot pain rushing through your body and forcing an involuntary cry to tear from your lips.

You quickly stood, wiping your hands down your skirt in an attempt to quell the memories surfacing, the ones you had desperately tried to supress since you had fallen. You quickly moved, all but running to the bathroom, needing to do something, anything, so long as it got you out of your head. You stopped when you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, looking exactly as you felt. The dark circles under your eyes from nights spent with hot tears flowing freely down your cheeks and into your hair and ears made you look ghostly, paired with the dull tone your skin had taken on, losing its natural glow. You looked as empty as you felt, a shell of the person you once were.

Tears welled in your eyes, but you quickly moved away, instead walking to the kitchen, the nausea from not eating overcoming you, yet the thought of eating just made you more nauseous. You found an apple at the bottom of a practically empty fridge and cleaned it softly, then used a blade to cut it into four, forcing it down, repeating the benefits it gave your body as you went, the basic information you had learned in your high school biology class, using the information to push through the sick feeling residing in your stomach, and instead focusing on the energy you desperately needed.

Your gaze drifted to the ajar door that led to your expansive garden, the cottage you lived in itself was small, but your garden was your pride and joy, your power sifting through all the plants in it, bringing them to life in ways of indescribable beauty, nearby animals coming to exist in harmony, safe under the care of their protector. But recently the usual vibrancy of the garden was dimming, the grass turning yellow and the plants wilting. There were no deer napping under bushes and barely any birds taking full advantage of the seed you laid out for them. You pushed past the door and into the garden, the plants brightening as you trailed your hands over their leaves. You found your favourite spot to sit in and dragged your fingers through the grass, smiling despite yourself as it visibly perked up, turning greener instantly. Your gaze trailed to a ruby throated hummingbird that had landed on the special feeder you left out for them, your breath hitching at the red colour, mind instantly returning to the dark, unable to tear your eyes away from the innocent bird.

The first thing you remember seeing was red, red water flowing like blood, red rocks beneath your bent knees, and your skin tinted red from dried blood seeping out of the wounds the chains around your wrists had inflicted on you. You sought to remember where you were, your mind drifting back to how you clung to Annabeth, your stomach aching from what must have been a broken rib, even as she was roughly pulled backwards, even as Percy desperately grabbed her, falling over the edge too, not quite reaching Nico’s shaking hand as he desperately tried to save you. You remembered been torn from their grip during the fall, a Fury hoping for a demi-god it could pick apart, you remember Annabeth screaming they would save you. But you don’t remember landing here, and you don’t remember the chains being attached to your wrists and ankles, or your shirt being removed, a choice you decided couldn’t mean anything good. However, you knew you would never forget the dark chuckle you heard behind you. Or the colour red.  

--

Azriel didn’t know where he was. He knew he wasn’t in his world at least, but that was as far as his knowledge went. He was simply tired after a long mission far away from Velaris and his family and had tried to travel through the shadows to his home. Yet here he was, farther away from home than he had ever been and absolutely exhausted. He stepped out of his shadows and had to blink as the tallest buildings he had ever seen came into view. He absentmindedly took a step forward, then another until he was roughly shoved into, a man with a thick accent he couldn’t place swearing at him. His head whipping around as he got his bearings and moved to follow the direction more people than he could believe were walking until the crowd thinned out.

With less people present he slowed his pace, hands drifting to his pockets when civilians stared, old insecurities that never really left him rising to the surface, and instead took the time to admire the strange world he was in. the fashion in this new world was vastly different to his own, groups of girls congregating in tiny shorts and tight tops, next to groups in which there were girls in all black and boys in skirts. There were men and women dressed sharply talking quickly to no-one in particular, with hands pressed to their ears, there were people in rags begging for money and there were people dressed in ways he couldn’t even fathom to understand. By the time he reached the end of the street he was sure he had seen everything, and walked onto a more recognisable street, one with smaller buildings, unlike the magnificent glass structures, made from stone and wood and with friendlier faces behind stalls filled with food he recognized along with food he had never seen before.

He made his way through the market, losing track of time, the initial anxiety he felt seeping away, if he got here, he could easily return home, right? Instead, he chose to focus on the culture of this new world, determined to tell his family of the wonder he had uncovered, faintly hearing different languages from people’s conversation, and music coming from the open window of what he presumed was a coffee shop. He distantly wondered if they could see his wings, as no-one eyes lingered the way he had grown used to, in fact it seemed they couldn’t look at them, he presumed humans in this world simply had a natural glamour preventing them from seeing fae, that being said however, no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t spot another fae.

Eventually he reached the end of the street and decided he should return home now in order to stop his family from worrying, searching for a shadowed alley so as to not draw to much unwanted attention to himself. He walked to an alley that he decided would do the trick, excited to share this adventure with his family, but stopped short when he came face to face with a girl in a short skirt with incredibly pale skin and fire-like hair leaning over a passed-out man, sucking blood from his neck. She looked up when he approached and he saw that her hair was not just fire-like but literally fire, and her eyes were glowing red, and angry. More alike her then came out of the shadows, he quickly counted six, sighing as he pulled Truth-teller out of its sheath.

Shit. I am not in the mood for this.

--

You strolled through your favourite farmers market in NYC, the colours that filled the stalls always bringing some cheer back into your life, along with the thought of home-made meals and your practically overflowing basket, filled with fruit, vegetables, bread, and other necessities, but not meat, not since the animals started speaking to you when you first arrived at camp, and nothing red, you still couldn’t face that.  

You made a quick stop at your favourite coffee place, opting to get your drink to go, only making polite conversation when you had to, and smiling through any other interaction. You were soon ready to leave, basket and dusty blue corduroy jacket slung over one arm, cup in that hand and your phone that the Hephaestus cabin had adapted in the other, when you heard pained grunts and the cackle of a monster you wished you could just forget already from a nearby alley.

You gave a pained sigh, looking longingly at your coffee before chugging it and throwing the cup in a nearby bin, making your way over to the alley. When you got there, you saw an unnaturally dark alley filled with a gaggle of Empousa surrounding a tall, winged man who was fighting incredibly well but clearly hadn’t gotten the celestial bronze memo, as his blade was defective.

“Long time no see ladies” you said, smirking at the growls that tore from the back of their throats as they tore around to stare at you, recognition in their horrifyingly red eyes. “What no hugs, no happy reunions?”

“You.” The middle one snarled, lunging forward, only to be cut down by the thick, green vine you had grown, intertwined with strands of celestial bronze you kept wrapped around your wrists disguised as thin, looping bracelets, and exploding into dust which you nonchalantly wiped from your shoulder.

“Whose next,” you laughed as three of them leaped at you, two staying behind and keeping the winged man, who had taken to staring at you with an unreadable expression, occupied. You destroyed them quickly enough to see the man falter as one of the Empousa force their talon like nails into his side, twisting it and pulling it out. You rolled your eyes, moving to pick up his slack, wrapping the vine around its neck and pulling until it exploded into the fine dust. The man was on the floor now, clutching his side, as you stalked forward to the final monster.

“You know I really just wanted a chill day,” you complained,

“I remember you,” it hissed, smiling at you with razor sharp teeth.

You fought a shudder and forced the memories down, “I’m glad I made an impression.”

“They want you back you know, we never got to finish playing.”

You snarled and went to move, but it was too fast, and you realised your mistake in waiting too long as it released a piercing cry that must have notified monsters from miles away, “shit,” you muttered under your breath, killing it quickly and moving to the winged man’s side.

“Hey, any chance those wings are good at flying,” you asked, “cause we’re about to be swarmed and I really just wanna get home.” You put his arm over your shoulders and dragged him up, grunting under his weight.

“I-it, poison.” Was all he said, fully leaning on you.

“Shit, okay um,” you racked your brain for an idea, furrowing your brows when you saw monsters start coming around the corner, eyeing you like their favourite toy. The man looked up from beneath his thick, dark hair before cursing and tightening his grip on your shoulder.

“Just hold on,” he said,

“What? Wait no!” you shouted, clinging to his arm as suddenly you were engulfed in darkness, only to suddenly be blinded by bright, hot light, forcing your eyes closed.

When you opened them again, you were on a sandy beach facing an impossibly blue ocean. Your mouth fell open and you turned to ask the man some questions, (or yell at him you were yet to decide) just in time to watch him collapse, falling onto the sand with a soft thud, red blood steadily flowing out of his side, the blood draining from your face at the sight.

Shit.

--

You stared down at the man in disbelief for at least two minutes. He can shadow-travel. Is he a son of Hades? Gods know I don’t need another step sibling. Also, where the fuck am I? Why a beach? Is it LA? I might marry him if it’s LA. A million thoughts raced through your head as you stared at him, guessing that the unnatural darkness you saw before must have come from the shadows you could now see were surrounding him, protecting him from the light and, when you moved closer, you. From what you could see, he was handsome, if not slightly dead looking, thick, dark hair and a lean, muscular build. Wait dead looking? You cursed jumping into action, checking his pulse, relieved when you found it, before moving to his side using the knife you kept tucked into your boot to hack through the leathers he was wearing in order to reveal the gash.

It wasn’t wide but seemed deep as it was gushing dark red blood, you blanched and screwed your eyes shut at the sight, fighting the memories of your own dark red blood. You opened your eyes purposefully not looking at the cut as you used his torn leathers to put pressure on the cut and start dragging him up the beach to an area you could grow the thin vines you would need as makeshift stitches.

--

Azriel woke to an extreme discomfort in his side, in a place he didn’t recognise. He pushed up into a sitting position, wincing at the reminder of his wound, and looked around, finding himself shirtless, surrounded by trees on a sandy floor. A girl was sitting cross-legged, staring- no- glaring at him and he felt himself return a confused expression, vaguely remembering her as the girl that had killed the monsters that he could have sworn were completely invulnerable.  

“What are you?” She asked suddenly, her bluntness taking him by surprise, but before he could answer she continued, “I mean I’m presuming you’re some sort of child of Hades, given you shadow travelled, but I don’t understand what else, cause you’re defo not part human?”

“Hades?” he asked, frowning at the words he didn’t understand.

“Yeah?” she asked slowly, raising her eyebrows at him as if it was something obvious.

He scoffed, “I don’t need to tell you anything.”

“Oh, is that so? No thank you or anything? I mean it’s not like I saved your life and I mean least of all I would expect an apology.” She was rambling as she stared at him in disbelief.

“An apology?”

“Yeah, for getting me stuck here.”

“Where’s here?”

“Fuck if I know,” she threw her hands up in exasperation, “I thought you know, I’ve done enough, I’ll let him find a cure for that poison on his own, I just wanna go home, so I decided lets get my bearings. I’ll find a high place and work out where I am, only to climb to the top of a fucking mountain and realise you got us stuck on a fucking Island!”

He slowly stood, bracing himself on a tree, as she remained sat, levelling him with an unimpressed stare. He shook his head, not needing to babysit this girl, and instead shot up from the ground, flying above the island to see she was in fact correct, there didn’t seem to be land for miles.

Suddenly, a sharp shooting pain went up his right side and he lost control of his balance for a second, all but plummeting to the ground.

“Yeah you shockingly haven’t healed completely yet,” the girl said moving to his side and pushing away his maimed hands from his wound, barely even glancing at the scars, “I have some ideas as to what will cure the poison, but if you want to fly away and leave me to die here, be my guest,” every word was dripping with sarcasm and he fought back a growl at her as she inspected his wound, were he saw he had torn the peculiar, green stitches.

He watched her carefully, not fully trusting her, as she inspected his stitches, furrowing his eyebrows when she significantly paled at the sight of his blood. “What scared of a little blood,” he instantly regretted the biting words when she snarled at him and put more pressure on the wound than was necessary, feeling slightly guilty given she had saved his life, but her attitude was infuriating, and he just wanted a hot bath and food.  

“Okay, so here’s what’s going to happen, I’m going to stitch you back up, and then we’re gonna find a lake or some source of fresh water, you’re going to heal extremely quickly so you can take us back home and you’re not going to give me anymore shit? Kapeesh?” The stare she gave him could’ve rivalled his own in terms of intimidation, but instead of challenging her he just nodded, setting his jaw.

“Good. Now, nice to meet you, I’m (y/n),” she said reaching out a hand,

“Azriel.” Was all he said, meeting her small, soft hands in his rough, scarred ones, the difference in texture astounding him, still not entirely used to touch, and ignored the tightness in his chest when she offered him a cocky smirk.

[jq37]

The Case File – Mice and Murder Ep 1

The Case of the The Pernicious Party  

Hello, hello, hello! It’s been a hot second but your resident D20 recapper is back to tackle the newest season: Mice and Murder! Y’all had to know I wasn’t gonna sit out the murder mystery, are you kidding me???

I might be playing around with the format a bit in the coming weeks to make sure I have the best possible system for keeping track of possible clues, suspects, and theories as we untangle whatever web Brennan weaves for us this season so don’t be surprised if things change a little. 

Anyway, without further ado, onto our mystery!

Summary

In case you missed it, this season takes place in an alternate, Zootopia/Wind in the Willows-esque universe where all the characters are animals but history seems to have happened in more or less the same way--for example there was still a King Charles but he was a King Charles Spaniel (cute Brennan). Our story specifically takes place in the English village of Tufting Meadows.  

We start with Katie’s character--Gangie Green (Weasel/Thief Rogue) in the graveyard of the Anglican Chapel (Our Lady of Prayerful Paws). Gangie, we learn, is an orphan who was kicked out of the orphanage at some point for thievery. Obviously, he’s not reformed of the habit because he is here to do some graverobbing. On a nat 20 (that Katie hilariously doesn’t notice even though her total is like a 29) Gangie can see through the window of the rectory that there is a weeping window inside--Catherine McCabbage who is being (dubiously) tended to by Raph’s character, Vicar Ian Prescott (Owl/Bard, College of Eloquence). 

Ian comes from a line of men of the cloth but he’s not exactly the best speaker despite his subclass. He’s doing his best though! The widow’s husband (Conor McCabbage) died at the local mill in what has been declared an accident but she suspects foul play. She’s been hearing his voice on the wind and wants Ian’s professional opinion on whether this could be a sign from God or if her husband might be speaking to her from beyond the grave or something like that. Ian gives a very muddled and not very comforting answer but seems pretty sure that something sketchy did in fact happen. Then, he sees a crack of lightning outside which illuminates the graveyard where he gets a glimpse of Gangie. 

He goes to check it out (and Gangie fully has an elderly goat he’s dug up slung over his shoulder) but “gravedigger” is his legit job so Ian decides to assume whatever’s going on is legit and not ask too many questions. He goes back to the widow (who, before she leaves, says that maybe sometimes people need to work on God’s behalf) while Gangie takes the body Loam Hall (a massive manor, built into a hill).

We cut to the next day and our next two characters! 

At 22B Hamsted Street in a pretty well appointed home are Ally and Grant’s characters. First up, we have Lars Vandenchomp (Huge ass Doberman/Battlemaster Fighter) who is so tough looking but also so Swedish sounding--it’s A Lot (so, incredibly on brand for Ally). Lars is security for Grant’s character Sylvester Cross (Fox/Inquisitive Rogue) who is a kinda (to use Grant’s word) “foppish” Sherlock Holmes type. He was hired by Squire William Thornwall Brockhollow to figure out what happened with Conor McCabbage (and clear him of negligence in running the mill) but he couldn’t find any evidence of any funny business, making this the only case he’s never cracked. He’s not as young or popular as he once was so this is, understandably, bumming him out. He’s even more bummed out when he realizes that William has invited him to his 60th birthday party that’s happening that night (as kind of a prop to show that he did his part in trying to solve the mystery) and Lars has already RSVP’d yes. He grudgingly agrees to go as it’s one of those asks that’s really more of a veiled demand but decides to pull the money he was paid from the bank first so he can return it and really stick it to the guy.

Finally, we cut to our last set of PCs who are on their way to Tufting Meadows via a very luxurious train. Inside are Sam and Rekha’s characters! Sam is Buckster $ Boyd (Peccary which is like a small boar/Mastermind Rouge) a Texan Oil Tycoon who acts exactly how you’d expect a Texan Oil Pig to act. Yes, you pronounce the dollar sign as “dollar sign” (even though as we find out later his middle name is Cassius so it’s like Cash which I think is super cool). With him is Rekha’s character, Daisy D'umpstaire (Raccoon/Assassin (???) Rogue another American (from South Carolina) though it seems she’s My Fair Lady’d herself into an upper class socialite (her last name was previously Dumpster). They’re traveling with their accountant, an Armadillo named Armond who seems kinda skittish and concerned about their travel expenses but Buck tells him that to make money you gotta spend money and they’re gonna make a *ton* of money on this trip. They’re also so so mean to him for absolutely no reason. 

When the train stops, they’re greeted by Templeton Padhop (a frog, natch) who is the chauffeur of Loan Hall, sent to fetch them. A wheel on his car is broken so he joins in on the Armond abuse immediately and has Armond roll into an Armadillo ball and replace it. Poor guy. When they show up they're greeted by a footman--a pug in a bowler hat named Milo Snout.

Meanwhile, Lars and Sly (Oh, Sly fox, I see what you did there Grant) are similarly greeted by another footman--a lizard named Basil Baskins. On a 23 perception check, Lars sees that Jeremy “Jez” Brockhollow is inside (the son of William who is a badger btw) and also clocks Gangie (who they know as a career criminal who disappeared like a year ago). Gangie doesn’t notice Lars though. 

Ian, who is also invited, shows up at about the same time as Sly but very quickly, the conversation is taken over by Lucretia “Lucy” Brockhollow, William’s older, eccentric sister who immediately gets into it with Lars about astrology and the occult (she thinks bad stuff is happening because of a curse let loose when Sly’s old rival--a rabbit named Fletcher Cottonbottom who is the son of his former employer--opened an Egyptian tomb). They’re thick as thieves right away because Ally is a nonsense magnet. And not like a regular magnet, one of those big electromagnets. 

Daisy and Buck spot William’s kids--the aforementioned Jez and his older sister Constance--along with their husbands Dr. Corbin Magpie (Constance’s and obv a magpie and a doctor) and Osmond Sheffield (Jez’s who is a Ram and a lawyer). Daisy is too stuck in her conversation with a truly unhinged squirrel (Lady Eugenia Bristlebrush who clearly does not know she’s in a murder mystery because she just keeps talking about how much she hates and wants to kill everyone) to hear what’s going on but she indicates the conversation to Buck who is able to eavesdrop and hear that they’re lamenting that Catherine--the widow--RSVP’d no which is gonna look really bad, like they didn’t invite her (bad PR). 

Buck, introducing himself as a business partner of William, eases into a conversation with the husbands which their respective spouses also join into and we learn that Buck's dad was British and a friend of Willian’s. Buck bonds with Jez (who is a bit of a dilettante) really quickly since Buck is ready to go drinks-wise immediately (and there’s a stellar pun about the “American [Drinking] Constitution''). Through the window, Buck notices Gangie outside getting his attention. 

At the same time, Ian is going from party guest to party guest, giving out the penances he forgot to earlier at church (as one does). We see him talking to the Lord and Lady Bramble (a cow and hedgehog, respectively) and while she wants to pray her way out of situations without doing any legwork, he wants to buy his way out and gives Ian 250 pounds. A frustrating but financially lucrative conversation.  

Buck goes outside to talk to Gangie who has a list of names of the bodies he’s been collecting. We’re not told what Buck is doing but it seems that this list is extremely valuable to him in some way. Gangie (who Buck keeps calling Gangly, to his annoyance) pays him handsomely (like, with a 50% tip) for the list (and Gangie gives him the real list, despite Brennan saying he didn’t have to). We also learn that Gangie has allegedly been getting the orders from someone in Loa Hall and they flow from William himself.

Matilda Molesly (a mole and the head maid) invites Gangie to come in from the rain--she’s the only person who’s been consistently nice to him and he agrees to come in for tea and scones. 

Everyone is ushered together by the butler (because of course there’s a butler--he’s quite literally a fancy rat named Thomas Gilfoyle) and William gives a speech where he wishes Conor well and kinda highlights that he did hire Sly to solve the case in a “Hey, I did my bit don’t blame me” kind of way. He also makes a 150k pound donation to the church (and Ian thought 250 was good) and tells his daughter not to read the praise he got for it from the cardinal when she mentions it (I wonder if that was choreographed). Sly interrupts the speech to “magnanimously” give his money back, to William’s annoyance. Buck notices that Lawrence Longfoot (a nouveau rich, rabbit photographer) takes a pic of the scene but with Sly in the foreground and William in the background. 

Then, a few things happen at once (in a very cinematic way):

As the camera flashes, Mrs. Molesly drops her tray, eyes hurt by the light. Lady Calliope Fawnbrooke (Deer, Matron of the Arts) helps her up.

In the moment of dark, after the flash goes away, the butler disappears. 

Buck thinks he sees a shape through the window, out in the rain. 

A cheer goes up for Sly for returning the money but all Sly can focus on is one figure he recognizes in the back of the room. Daisy, who is downing her drink and not cheering for him. He downs his as well, and looks at her until she breaks the stare and leaves the room. 

And this episode doesn’t end with a dead body like I thought, but with a flashback to a younger Sylvester, 12 years ago when he first met Daisy.

PC INTERPERSONAL DRAMA Y’ALL!!! Get HYPED! 

Case Notes

Here is a compilation of all the characters (PCs and NPCs introduced in this episode). 

Sly mentions that Ignatius Cottonbottom faked his own death as a part of some scheme which seems like a backstory point that might come back later--we now know that there exists a way to convincingly fake your own death in this world. 

Sly walks with a walking stick because of some “mysterious accident” but we’re jumping into a flashback next week so it looks like we might find out about it pretty soon. 

Sly also mentions he used to be the personal physician to the elder Cottonbottom so those are skills he has. I wonder if that’ll be useful to this healer-less party. I wonder if cleric was even an option in this world which seems to be low to no magic. It would explain by Ian is a bad and not a cleric. 

Lars has a military background which I wanted to mention in case it becomes relevant later. 

And Dr. Magpie grew up poor and still acts it a bit even though he married a very rich woman. Brennan uses the very good line, “He forces his body into the shape of an apology”

This might be a really deep cut reference but did anyone else here was the old Britcom “Keeping Up Appearances”? Cause I was getting serious Bouquet/Bucket energy from Daisy. 

This is an all College Humor season and it shows. The energy of 6 (7 if you count Brennan) top notch comedians sparking off of each other, trying to one up each other is off the charts. Some of the best bits this episode:

“When God closes every door but one, you go through the door that is open.” followed by “I’m an owl by the way.”

“Time is money, here’s both” from Buck re his inscribed gold pocket watch--everyone at the table loved that so much and they’re right. 

Armond going from being a third to a fourth wheel. 

And the names--I already shouted out a ton on the main recap but also a rat butler (like Rhett Butler) and naming the mouse Cat(therine). Can’t forget Gangie Green/gangrene from Katie. Also points to Ally for the data stealing Eel Musk which broke Brennan a little. 

I know we just went through this with Crown of Candy but what are these animals eating? Like, in Zootopia there were only mammals so we can assume the carnivores are eating like birds and fish but there are sentient birds here. I know this isn’t important. I’m not trying to do a CinemaSins gotcha. I just wonder, you know?

Y’all were waiting for all the lights to go out during that speech and then come back on and there’d be a body too, right?

If Brennan makes the bad guy a chicken or a duck or something so he can make a “fowl play” joke, he is cordially invited to catch these hands. 

I have been waiting for Raph and Katie to do D20 forever. Their specific brand of nonsense on Rank Room was always amazing. 

I love love love that Grant and Rekha are the PCs that have ~a past~ because they are so funny together. If you haven’t seen their episode of Game Changers, you absolutely must (it’s also a murder mystery actually!). 

[btsslowburnfic]

The Arrangement Chapter 3

Series Summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable ad. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi.

Chapter Summary: Interview Round 1 and our first encounter

Previous chapter here

----------------------------- You bartended through the weekend without incident. You had honestly kind of forgotten about your strange encounter with Mr. Rude Dimples as you geared up for another work week. You arrived at your office job early Monday morning and headed to the breakroom. You loaded up on coffee and some fruit someone had sat out and went to your desk. At exactly 8 am you opened up your emails. You scanned through the work correspondence answering a few quick questions and queuing up some to answer after you checked on a few things. You then opened up your personal email and almost fell out of your chair when you saw **Google Calendar invitation: Job Interview. Very Personal Assistant. BTS Corporate Accept/Decline**

You opened it and lo and behold there was an invitation to a job interview this Thursday at Grindhouse Coffee Shop. You shook your head, so maybe it was a real job. Maybe. You were relieved to see the interview was in such a public location. You went into your work calendar and marked yourself out of office for an hour and half. You never took any time off so it wouldn’t be a problem. How does one prepare for a job interview for a personal assistant? You wondered. 

You opened an incognito window and started researching job interview questions and also looked into what exactly BTS Corporate was. It was a media company who seemed to dabble in everything from modeling to music. You recognized two of the models immediately, JK and V. They were both well known in the modeling world and graced the covers of many magazines. Ok so this was a legit company. Cool. Cool.  Oh my God, you thought. What if the position was to be an assistant to a model who was as hot as those two? You remained calm. You had bartended and been around hot dudes before. It would be fine. You would be fine. You kept the incognito window open as you returned to your actual job and continued to email and message colleagues about your projects. You also skimmed through BTS Corporate’s website to learn more about the company and spy on some of the other models and talent who they employed. 

The rest of the day went by without incident and you were excited for two reasons: one, you had a job interview at a place that paid more than your two of your current jobs combined, and you had Monday night off from bartending. You headed home, looking forward to spending time with your family.  

You rarely got to see your brother, who was in his second year of high school, and your sister, who was finishing up elementary school. You walked into the apartment, slipping off your shoes and work bag. 

“Hey everyone!” You yelled and headed into the living room.  Your sister and niece were doing their homework on the coffee table side by side. “Hey girls. How was school today?”

You got some noncommittal “goods” out of them and left them to their schoolwork. Your brother would be at cram school for another two hours. You walked into the kitchen where your aunt was preparing some food.

“Hello Aunt Vi,” you said, scooting around her towards the refrigerator to make yourself useful. “How can I help?”

“Hello [y/n]. If you could get the rice cooker ready and prepare the chicken that would be great.”

“You got it,” you responded, dutifully beginning the tasks you were assigned. You loved your Aunt Vi and were so grateful she was able to take the three of you in. The apartment was cramped and she did her best to make sure you all never felt like you were imposing. But, it was hard not to feel that way given the circumstances. You found your mind wandering back to the job interview. With that much money you could easily afford to either pay for a larger apartment for all of them, or pay for your brother to live at the school’s dormitory. You tried not to let yourself get too excited about it, you still weren't sure if it was a real job. And you had already had more disappointments in the past 5 years than you could deal with. You tried to keep it from making you pessimistic, but it definitely made you wary of most situations. Especially ones that seemed too good to be true. 

“Suho called this afternoon,” she said quietly while chopping green onion. 

You involuntarily flinched. “Oh? I’m sorry. I didn’t give him this number.”

“I know I know. He asked for you and wanted to talk to your sister.” She paused, “I told him to go to hell.” 

It was always weird for you to hear your very proper aunt curse, but when it came to Suho, there was no escaping the rage she felt. And rightfully so.

You nodded your head. “Good. I’ll see about getting our number changed again.” You said, feeling like it was your responsibility. 

She didn’t say anything in response and the two of you continued to make dinner together silently. 

--------------------------

The rest of the week flew by. Office job, bartend, check on your siblings’ homework, check your bank account, pay your aunt, skillfully balance every cent in your checking account, sleep, caffeinate, repeat.  Before you knew it, Thursday afternoon had arrived. 

You walked into the coffeeshop. Grindhouse Coffee was across the city, near Club Tokki, so you had to watch your time carefully. You immediately noticed a large concentration of very attractive women with perfect faces and perfect tits. Damn. Were they here for the  same position?

“Tokki,” you heard a voice call towards you. You turned and saw Mr. Rude Dimples walking towards you with a tablet in hand. Oh God, you had a nickname? “Rich Asshole.” you waved, smiling “It’s nice to see you again.”

He guffawed, clearly not expecting that. “I am conducting your job interview Tokki,” he loosened his neck tie. “You should watch your mouth.”

You raised your eyebrows. “I’m pretty sure my mouth is what landed me this interview since it clearly wasn’t my good looks” you gestured to the space around you. “And it’s ‘[y/n]’ not Tokki.”

He swiped his tablet. “Got you all checked in. I’ll let you know when it’s your turn.” He shook his head as he walked away. 

Yoongi sulked at a booth in the cafe, his delicate lips pressed firmly into a pout. He refused to take part in the interviews or look at the resumes, but his curiosity had gotten the better of him. So far he was unimpressed. It was like walking around work: a bunch of models who all looked the same. Who the hell would believe he would marry one of these women? He sighed. You shouldn’t judge someone based on their looks, he reminded himself. He kept one earbud in, lazily eavesdropping on the people in the cafe. A group of three women were sitting in the next booth over. 

“I wonder what kind of job this is. It sounds like an escort service but like also a secretary.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“I wonder if it’s for one of the models.”

They continued to prattle on about the job, how Namjoon has approached them, and stuff like that. Yoongi scanned his phone and looked over, Namjoon was interviewing one of the girls right now. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking out over the cafe again. Maybe he would grab a coffee. He pulled out his other earbud and got up to order his usual iced Americano. 

“I totally think that’s what it is. What kind of loser has to pay for someone to date him?”

“Yeah. And it’s definitely not that guy,” she gestured over to Namjoon. “He’s hot. This guy is probably hella ugly. Like rich and ugly. Which I guess I could get over for the price tag.” The girls all laughed.

Yoongi felt his face grow red. That’s what all these women thought about him. Some rich loser idiot desperate for their attention and willing to sell themselves off for his and BigHit’s attention. He didn’t even want this. He didn’t need this shit. He headed towards the door. Fuck this place. Fuck these girls. Fuck Namjoon.

You looked up from your seat by the door to see a man around your age walking over quickly and pushing the door open hard. You shrugged, he must have realized he was late or something. You looked back to where he had been sitting and saw he had left his earbuds sitting on the table. You got up and walked over and saw that he had actually left his very expensive earbuds. Shit. You could probably catch him if you tried. You picked them up and headed for the door.

“Where are you going Tokki?” You heard Namjoon say as he got up from the interview table, clearly done with his latest interview.

“I’ll be right back.” You yelled, “Probably!” You amended. You had been spending the past fifteen minutes talking  yourself out of the interview. You knew your office skills were mediocre, your mouth got you into trouble all the time, and you were so not as pretty as every other girl in there. 

You peered out onto the sidewalk looking for the black hat and black outfit. Damn it. Wait. Across the street. You waited for the traffic signal to change and then ran across the street. By the time the signal had changed he was far ahead of you. “Hey!! Hey you!” You yelled, ever so inelegantly across the sea of people. There was no way he was going to hear you from where you were. His head was down and he was definitely in the zone. But, you were running and he was walking so you finally caught up with him by the next block. “Hey, you,” you pulled gently on the back of his jacket. “You…”

Yoongi turned to see what was happening. He had heard a woman yelling but assumed she would have been talking to someone else. He saw a girl around his same age and height standing there, panting slightly like she had just exercised. He was still upset from the whole cafe incident, leaving him short tempered and just wanting to get somewhere private. “What?” He asked tersely.

You stood eye to eye with him. This guy was good looking. And kind of rude. Oh well, you thought he had been in a hurry when you started chasing him.  “Here,” you held the earbuds out in their case. “You left these on the table.” 

He looked at you for an extra second, suspicion in his eyes. “Thanks.” He took them from you and relaxed slightly. “At Grindhouse?”

“Yeah.” You fan your face. Running in office clothing sucked.  Ok. Well your business here was concluded. You stood there for another few awkward seconds. 

Yoongi looked at the girl who was standing in front of him. He hadn’t seen her in the cafe, and he couldn’t believe she had run the few blocks to return the headphones. He tried to think of something to say. Small talk was not his strong suit. “Do you work near here?”

You huffed and puffed a little, still recovering from your unexpected jog. “No. I work across town.” You thought for a second.  “Well during the day anyways. I do actually work near here at night though at Club Tokki.”

Yoongi put the earbuds in his bag. “What brings you to this side of town then? The coffee’s not that good.” He deadpanned.

You shrugged, “Eh, I’m supposed to have a job interview. I don’t know though. It seems shady and that place was populated with models who I think are also going for it. I think I’ll just get some of that coffee that you don’t recommend and head back to my day job.”

Yoongi stood there putting the pieces together. You were there for that interview. Normal-looking you who apparently already worked two jobs. He sighed, feeling like a creep for knowing more about the job than you did and knowing that it would be working with him. He rubbed along his jawline with his hand, “I don’t know. I think you should go for it. Maybe you’ll stand out.”

You laughed, “Because I’m ugly and sweaty?” You teased, you knew you were normal looking and could be pretty if you did your hair and make-up. 

You thought you saw the tiniest hint of a smile as he replied, “Yes. Take your ugly face back there and apply for the interview and do better than those models.”

You rolled your eyes, “That was the shittiest pep talk I have ever had in my life but ok. I’ll march back in there sweating like a pig and do my best.”

“I wish you luck. Thanks again for the earbuds.” He said, giving you a polite wave as he turned and started to walk back to BigHit’s headquarters.

You laughed a little bit and decided, what the hell, you might as well go for it. You returned to Grindhouse, to the seeming annoyance of Rude Dimples. 

“Finally Tokki, I was getting ready to give your time slot to the fucking barista.” He gestured to the table.

“Oh my God, you are so immature. How are you the one in charge of this interview?” You asked as you took a seat in the chair.

“I’m the boss of the company Tokki, if you don’t like it you might want to leave now.”

“One: From my research, as President and CEO, Hitman Bang is the boss of the company. You’re the CIO. Two: I’m guessing this isn’t an interview to be your assistant or I definitely wouldn’t be here. Three: it's [y/n]. So let’s get to the part where you ask me questions and I answer.”

Namjoon sat there for a minute, opening and shutting his mouth a few times in shock. He spread his hands out along the table. “Huh. I’ll give you that you actually did research on the company. Well done. Let’s begin.” NEXT CHAPTER

[rairii]

dumbassrights replied to your post “After the election fraud that happened in Bolivia was uncovered and...”

hey! are you bolivian? can you explain bolivians situation right now? everything i see is outsiders opinions and i know that i can't really trust that. if you can't, thats fine, thank you!

Hello! Yes I am Bolivian, though I currently live in a different South American country, but I’ve been keeping in touch with my family with WhatsApp and I try to keep up with the basic news from back home, so I think I can explain the basics.

The basic start is with Evo Morales, a cocalero (coca leaf grower) who became a politician and came to power as president in 2006. He’s the first indigenous president of Bolivia (he is Aymara), and when he came to power was widely seen as a game changer, destroying the oligarchical, upper white class hold on Bolivian politics. He was received with much fanfare, including from white leftists, who were keen on a president who would enact social reform and change and concentrate on helping reduce poverty and racism. I was too young to vote back then, but the majority of my family voted for Evo. He was... he was hope. It’s hard to explain. We thought it was the turning point. Finally, an indigenous president, someone who knew discrimination first hand and would be able to listen to the many indigenous peoples of our country. Someone who would fight imperialism, and the scars of colonialism.

He managed to do some good things. If I remember correctly, education spending and welfare spending increased, he increased the taxes on many companies, such as hydrocarbons, allowing the state to invest more and have less of a deficit. Bolivia also received an economic boom unrelated to his actions and policies (it had more to do with the price of minerals, since Bolivia is a mining country, and so on and so forth), so for a while poverty did reduce and the middle class grew. He also increased the number of indigenous and campesino (farmer/rural lands) representatives and their influence in politics.

However, as time went on, Evo’s party began to systematically remove any opposition they could, with many political leaders jailed for charges of tax evasion and the like. There is a lot of shady stuff going around that topic, and it’s too much to get into in a short explanation. It turned out that the party sought to remove any rising leadership, even within their party, that could threaten Evo’s dominance. His party also began to stack the legislative branch and pushing new judges through, setting up people who’d be grateful to him and thus legislate in his favor. While this was happening, MAS, the party’s social base, expanded their power and influence in other ways.

Now, the actual constitutional fuckery that angered a lot of leftists. He had the constitution rewritten in 2008 and it was approved in 2009, which had really mixed opinions from people, though I personally liked that he changed the name of “Republic of Bolivia” to “Plurinational State of Bolivia” to recognize the indigenous nations of Bolivia. The constitution maintained its two term limit for the presidency, but the thing was, he claimed that since there was a new constitution, his first mandate/government no longer counted, and he got it approved legally that he could run two more times again, which he did. Which like. What the fuck?

In the process, we began seeing cracks in his pro-indigenous, pro-environmental discourse. For example, he ignored and overulled the indigenous peoples of TIPNIS, a national park and indigenous territory, when they legally stated that they did not want a highway built through their lands, because it would bring in deforestation and cocaleros who are known for deforestation. He basically steamrollered over this, despite indigenous peoples of the TIPNIS walking all the way to the city of La Paz to make protests. He began to approve infrastructure projects that would destroy natural spaces, including hydroelectric dams that can and will flood Madidi, one of the most important national parks and biodeverse areas of Bolivia. And so on and so forth, he began to act in such a way that was at odds with the platform he ran, betraying indigenous peoples and Pachamama (mother earth) at every turn. He also never took any reasonable criticism in stride, blaming it all on American Imperialism.

However, because of MAS’ stronghold and no unity among the opposition, Evo ran two more terms after his first (including the third which really shouldn’t have been legally recognized), and he stated that after his third he wouldn’t stay in power.

If you guessed that he changed his mind or was lying, you’re right.

He called for a national referendum in 2016 for whether he should be allowed to run for a fourth term, but he lost the referendum, which voted “No”, though it was a narrow margin. And instead of respecting the will of the Bolivian people, he ignored it and pushed himself forward as a candidate for the next (these) elections, to the point that he pushed so that the Supreme Tribunal of Justice would rule that the constitution was inconstitutional (wtf) because it did not respect his right to reelection (wtf) and decided that no public office would have a term limit. I hope I don’t have to explain why that is just. A horrible decision for democracy. Term limits exist for a reason. It’s so no one person can get a stranglehold on power. After this it became clear to us that he had become enamoured with power, and was mainly seeking to establish himself in power indefinitely, which well, it pissed a lot of us off. It was heartbreaking too. To see someone we’d pinned our hopes on becoming... a dictator.

This finally brings us to three weeks ago, when the general elections were held. Now, in Bolivia, we have it so that any winner of the presidential elections has to have at least 10% points more than the guy in second place, or we go into a second round of elections between the higher scoring candidates. And as the official electoral authority reported throughout most of the counting process as results came in, Evo didn’t have the 10% lead needed to avoid a second round, and statistically even if the remaining votes were majority Evo, he wouldn’t be able to get the 10% needed. Also, the remaining votes were City votes, and the cities are in general, not Evo supporters anymore. Until at around 80% of all votes counted, the website and reporting of the electoral authority just. Stopped. It cut off. It cut off for 24 hours, during which the government first claimed that oh, it’d had some technical difficulties, and then (this part I actually don’t understand, so I’m paraphrasing what I maybe undersood) claimed that because some voting places had finished counting already, so they wouldn’t have two places reporting results, they stopped the main authority. Which like.

That’s really fucking fishy.

So people were really suspicious, and when the authority began reporting again those 24 hours later, reporting that oh, actually, Evo had won with the required 10%, a lot of people didn’t believe it. This smelled like electoral fraud. So people began gathering to protest because Evo shouldn’t have been running in the first place and now he wanted us to take this lie and swallow it.

Evidence came out over the next few days about electoral fraud: non-Evo vote ballots were found in trash bins, and the official databases of the electoral authority were found to have “irregularities” that all favoured Evo. People got pissed even as Evo claimed that it was imperialist forces and that the counts were all valid and legit and transparent. But the damage was done. Bolivians took to the streets in big numbers to protest and froze the cities, stopping transport and literally putting the cities in a standstill, only letting emergency services and food trucks coming to the supermarkets through so people could live. The protesters in the cities began to get threats, because Evo began trying to sell these protests as “the racist cities trying to stamp the rural vote”, from Evo supporters, that they’d shut the water supplies to the city off. Counter protesters began massing too. Clashes happened. Evo supporters were pushed out of the city of Cochabamba, but they set fire to the grasses around a city landmark and place of pride because they wanted to give a last fuck you. MAS supporters attacked hospitals that had protesters and even the doctors and nurses who weren’t supporting MAS. Photo and video evidence, and people coming forward, showed that the government was paying people to counter protest. The protesters were mostly non-violent, but there were clashes when the police wasn’t able to keep people separated. One mayor near Cochabamba was found to have paid two thugs to beat up protesters, to the point that one young man of 18ish was thought to be dead, and her hair was cut off and she was sprayed red - supposedly by protesters, but now there are cliams of people from her town that it was her own people that did it to make the protesters look bad. (My opinion? It could be either at this point, I don’t know). The protesters wore the Bolivian flag and called for democracy to be respected. The Evo supporters primarily wore the party flag, and got their hands on dynamite that they set off on streets to intimidate protesters. Protesters have died at the hands of Evo supporters - I haven’t heard of one case of dead Evo supporters. The police started to get unhappy, because they didn’t want to throw tear gas at the people protesting. To try and sweeten them, the goverment paid a bonus... but it turned out the bonus money was taken from the police officer’s pension. Police departments began to ... not sure if mutiny is the right word, but to defy the government, in several cities.

At first, people were pushing for a second round of elections, but when we realized that actually, legally, when there is fraud of a significant impact the elections have to be annuled and new ones held, and the people who did the fraud jailed, the movements began to call for new elections completely, with a new electoral authority that could be trusted.

In the meantime, the military was quiet and not sent out to repress anything even after the police began to rebel, with military subordinates presenting letters that they would not repress the people, while it was known that military high command is pro Evo.

While this was going on, the OEA, The Organization of American States, had issued from the start of the 24 hour blackout from the electoral authority that they had concerns about the election process. Evo ended up accepting an audit from OEA representatives, and said that he’d stand by their resolution. When they finally came out with a report saying there were serious irregularities in the election that cast it into doubt, he called it politically motivated, but did call for new elections...

Then the high commander of the military said Evo should resign so that the country can be peaceful again. And a few hours ago Evo presented his resignation to the presidency.

It’s not over by a long shot - we need to establish a transparent, trustworthy electoral process in record time and hold new elections, and people are afraid that Evo will take back his resignation, and Evo incited his supporters in his resignation speech - but we’ve managed to get this far after three weeks of non spot protests.

There’s a lot more going on, a lot of context I’ve skipped, on Evo, on the political opposition - including Camacho, a religious right wing religionalism whose gotten a worrying amount of support with the protests in reaction to Evo’s excesses - but so far, I am proud of Bolivia. We’ve not let a wanna-be dictator establish himself. Now we just need a good left wing leader to help build us up to the promise that Evo gave us, and to stand strong against right wing pendulum reactionaries.

I leave you with the protest chants that spread in Bolivia these past three weeks

Quien se cansa? Who gets tired? NADIES SE CANSA! NOBODY GETS TIRED! Quien se rinde? Who gives up? NADIES SE RINDE! NOBODY GIVES UP! Evo de nuevo? Evo again? HUEVO CARAJO! [Pun involving the word egg, which sounds like Evo, and a swear word that doesn’t have a translation]

[sauntervaguelydown]

alright i gotta ask.. tell me about Strangers in a Strange Land? :Dc

ahhh I See You

So the original drabble the longer this is based on was very specifically inspired by listening to Panic! at the Disco. "LA Devotee" even more specifically. I was imagining the way that the performative fakeness of greater LA culture would mesh well with Hisoka's desire to both be Seen and Perceived but also retain his distance and privacy. Also. the painting nails thing. Originally I just wanted him to be painting his nails because it's such an elegant and femme thing to do, but then as I was writing the "underground fighting ring" section I realized (based on my own experience of kickboxing with acrylic nails) that this was not a practical thing to do, and then I realized they should be press-ons, and then I blew my own mind with how bizarre and low key funny it is to put on fake nails and then paint them WHILE they're on you, like, who DOES that

"Moon Men" is my favorite motif of all time and I'm just!!! Ahh!!! When I hit on how to combine the alien and the angelic imagery I just about got up and did a lap around the house. The comic books about Moon Men are an idea I lifted from--get this--Beverly Hillbillies. The son reads a comic about Moon People and wants to get hitched to one'a them Moon Maidens. I thought it would be fun if out on Whale Island they're only getting old books, decades behind the rest of the world, because there's no consistent bookstore on the Island. It's just whatever the sailors and travelers bring along. Once when my dad was a teenager a Deadhead traveled through his town selling off his records for gas money and my dad bought a bunch of like, Uriah Heep off him, stuff you'd never have gotten in the South in the 70's. Anyway I think that's basically how Gon gets his pop culture.

The idea of "mugging the monster" gives me infinite joy so I just... did that trope literally. This fic is closely related to Peace on Earth in the sense that it's about shared companionship through strangeness--about how Hisoka and Gon feel like they don't belong to this world. But while Hisoka holds it at arms-length , Gon throws himself into the strangeness and experiences everything as if it's new and wonderful. Hisoka is at a greater disadvantage in this real-ish world because his longings are the same, but without nen, there's no real way for him to get what he's craving. He wants to play chess and street fight and do algebra all at the same time and we just don't have a place for that, so he has to do them all separately. He was probably in jail for killing his mentor by the way. It was judged self defense and he got a two year sentence. After that he couldn't find legit work so he did porn for a while before getting into illegal ring fighting. People do occasionally recognize him from the porn work in public, and you can always tell because they go VERY red. Gon asks a lot of problematic questions about this phenomenon. Thank god they're leaving for south america in a week.

I spent a lot of time thinking about how to GET everyone to LA in this au. For Killua I just lifted the athelete family thing from Thanksgiving and gave it a hollywood spin. Kurapika was the hardest. I eventually decided that his "clan" was a commune of low key cultists, who had some very valuable jewels they were using for religious reasons, and the Spider crew swept in and killed them all to get the loot. They weren't necessarily all wonderful people, and while they were alive Kurapika was a troublesome youth with too many uncomfortable questions, but now that they're gone, well--those were his family. Kurapika is technically an American citizen but he was out east for Quest Reasons before everyone met up on the flight to LA.

I have to admit, I cheated a little bit by engaging this "Indiana Jones vision of Peru" at the end, since that's not technically mundane. But I'd already spent a while talking about Gon's missing dad, and that he was an archaeologist, and the tomb Ging talks about at the end of the anime was still floating around in my head and well... anyways.

I think when they show up in Peru, there's a whole conspiracy of looters and corrupt government officials and it turns into a story about trying to help the locals push out the greedy corporate interests while dodging their own warrants and also people who keep trying to kill them, and at the end of the whole arc you find Ging napping in a jail cell, where he's been held for like 5 years and been doing penpal correspondences with local academics about the stuff he found in the ruins before he was arrested.

I don't want to write that but ^^; I would certainly read it. Or watch it. It would be fun to watch the team getting to know each other and Hisoka coming out of his shell with them a little bit. Knuckle&Shoot are definitely here. Maybe some new characters. Maybe the mustache proctor guy? He's an archaeologist. He might be interested.

Also. Mosquitos. There will be mosquitos. Hisoka HATES this. Gon never gets bit somehow.

[breanne-says-boo]

October 2020 NYCC - What We Do in The Shadows panel

We did learn a little bit more about the upcoming Season 3 in this panel! Things bolded are relevant to S3 (**potential spoilers ahead under the cut!**)

Video can be found here [ X ]

Kathryn VanArendonk (a critic for Vulture) was the moderator for the panel and was joined by Mark (Colin Robinson), Kayvan (Nandor), Harvey (Guillermo), Matt (Laszlo), Natasia (Nadja), as well as showwriter Stefani Robinson and producer/writer Paul Simms. Kathryn wrote this article about the show if you would like to read it.

Details below under the cut --->

Kathryn asked what each of their character would be doing in quarantine and how they would be handling COVID-19:

Kayvan: He immediately says there would be a strain between Nandor and Guillermo, especially with there being a lack of victims for him to eat. Nandor would make Guillermo order LOTS of delivery and eat the delivery workers.

Harvey: it would be very awkward in the house for Guillermo particularly after the events of the season 2 finale.

Paul: Guillermo would be the only one in the house to wear a mask because he’s really the only one who cares/pays attention. The vampires would be confused/irritated by it and ask him to take off his “stupid costume”

Natasia: The vamps would probably be like the people who wear the masks under their noses if they wear them at all. They might be sort of unsympathetic and say “Oh, here we go again” having lived through many pandemics. The vamps might take advantage of everyone being at home but Guillermo might be stressed having to worry which of their victims have COVID and touching the bodies to throw them out. Harvey adds on and imagines that maybe it’s revealed that one of the vampires in the house is responsible for a different pandemic like the Spanish Flu or something to that effect.

Mark: Colin is a no-masker (for the purpose of irritating others) and getting into arguments about his constitutional rights inside stores. He’d probably be pretty hungry since he mostly feeds at the office and his coworkers would have to work at home.

Matt: They’d probably have no idea because they don’t watch the news or pay attention to current events at all

Kathryn immediately then asks about the Nandermo relationship- she asks Harvey and Kayvan if their characters love each other and how that relationship is developing.

Harvey: he started playing Guillermo with this infatuation with Nandor and that there were “blurred lines” in how he sees Nandor. He then explains that it seems kind of curious to the audience why Guillermo would continue to serve Nandor and help the vamps they continue to treat him so badly, and in Harvey’s mind, Guillermo is just driven by love and driven by emotion. He’s just very human and wants to do the right thing. (Harvey then “steals” Kayvan’s question about if Nandor is in love with Guillermo and Kayvan goes into Nandor-mode and begins to chastise Guillermo for being rude. Nandor: “Do you see what I have to put up with?”)

Kayvan: Nandor needs Guillermo and is “wrestling with his feelings” towards Guillermo. It is “heading towards a dangerous” territory for him because he “can’t be falling again after all [his] marriages”...he’s excited to see what happens next, but things are pretty “rocky” for them as of where we left them off.

My thoughts: seems like this is indicating a role-reversal of sorts in season 3, with Guillermo falling out of his infatuation with Nandor and Nandor falling in love with Guillermo? 

Kathryn asks Matt about what it’s like doing the “musical” epsiode for Laszlo since he has legitimate music experience (Matt sort of laughs about her use of “legit” in regards to his music).

Matt says its essentially demo song work. It’s good fun doing short ideas for pitching these 30 second songs in the space with ‘Tasia (Natasia)

Natasia: says it was a dream to do the songs with Matt and “plant seeds” in the work space because of Matt’s musical background. She mentions that Mark had an improv moment where Colin goes on stage to join Nadja and Laszlo and begin singing/rapping. Mark says that Colin begins jokingly doing it but then we see him get more into the song and enjoying it.

Paul says that if we like the prospective idea of Colin singing, we should be excited because Colin gets a singing/song moment in season 3. Paul then says something along the lines of that he’s happy they get to do these sort of bits and that all the casts members go along with it because “We are all dedicated to being silly...and stupid in a clever way.”

Kathryn then asks the whole group what kind of scenes do they look forward to doing for their characters and which scenes they like to watch their co-stars taken on

Harvey: likes doing action stuff and getting the change to play almost like these two different personalities in Guillermo- his quieter side and his badass side! He has a fun time with all his cast mates doing scenes and watching them. He has a hard time doing some scenes with Kayvan because he makes Harvey laugh and takes him out of character.

Kayvan: he likes doing scenes with Karvey because of the “tenderness.” He also like the house meeting scenes because they spin out into something outrageous or hilarious that happens after the fact.

Natasia: she likes doing Talking Heads scenes (when the scene is just of their characters speaking to the audience and to each other like in an interview) with Matt. She also likes doing the Fancy Room scenes, scenes with other women, and scenes with Shaun/Sean the neighbor. She likes scenes where Nandor is “saying thick stuff” because of the contrast of Nandor being this fearless warrior but also really stupid. She likes scenes where Matt has to do stuff really fast or has to run because it makes her laugh.

Matt: likes doing “loose” scenes where they can do anything that they want to do with a scene. He also likes doing the Talking Heads scenes with Natasia and watching the stuntmen do stuff he’s supposed to be doing. Apparently Kayvan let out somehow that Matt is afraid of heights. Kayvan: “Did I?...you’re getting better though...”

Mark: likes opportunities to play off of what the others say. He likes watching scenes where “Matt deal with Kayvan” because Laszlo can’t stand fools even though [Nandor] is one of the biggest fools (he says Laszlo but I think he meant Nandor with the mention of Kayvan). Scenes where they belittle Guillermo and scenes with Natasia are also fun.

Then Paul said he had a special guest who could also answer this question and in popped Nadja doll into the chat in her own separate video box. They were teasing her for being “on mute” and had her answer yes/no questions by nodding her head.

Kathryn asks Stefani about debates in the writer’s room regarding vampire biology and life. She asks Stefani about what’s fun about bringing in new creatures to the show and developing the lore about the vampires.

Stefani: it’s fun but it’s also hard in the writer’s room making decisions about these sort of things. The ability to pick and choose parts of the lore, but there can be contradictions they have to deal with. She wants the lore and the aspects of their nature to come together and be grounded so that it’s fun but isn’t too ridiculous. She considers how these elements/creatures can be “show-pieces” for the characters to interact with and how they contribute to the story and how they are funny.

Stefani then notes that Jermaine was very anti-leprechaun but Paul said he tried to reason with him. They try to decide among themselves what “fits” within their world and what doesn’t but there really isn’t a specific reason for what they go with.

Paul says there will be 3-4 new kinds of creatures in season 3. But no aliens, he notes. 

Natasia asks if somehow Sesame Street/Muppets would exist within their world and could make a cameo (I’m guessing because of the Count connection?) Paul jokes and says “Stefani, I don’t know what you’re doing tomorrow...but if we can schedule another meeting we could spend 6 hours making this happen.” Natasia then says she would love to see Miss Piggy and Nadja have some great chats. Same with Kermit and Nandor. Matt says he thinks Guillermo should find R2D2 buried in the garden but none of their characters recognize it.

All of season 3 is currently written. Kathryn asks about anything else they can tease for us:

Paul says there is in fact a bit of dialogue (3/4 of a page) about Kermit the frog that Natasia “accidentally came upon” (I don’t know how serious he is about this).

The vampires will go on a roadtrip! They will be traveling someplace they don’t normally go to, and the issue of having to bring soil from their homeland will be brought up

There is a birthday! It’s a big important birthday...for Colin! (maybe Colin’s song moment is him singing Happy Birthday?)

Nandor is looking for love and decides that it is time for him to find a partner

Some characters will be coming back, including Shaun/Sean the neighbor who will appear in two episodes

[chibivesicle]

Golden Kamuy chapters 247 & 248; Asirpa’s self doubt and how to catch a killer

With the realignment of the factions, yet again, Asirpa is back with Hijikata and his ‘lofty’ goal to establish the Republic of Ezo.

Hijikata leverages as much control as possible by only allowing Asirpa to look at his collection of tattooed skins.  The chapter starts with her inner dialogue as she examines various skins and outlines that there is a rule that is shared between ones that are confirmed to belong to a convict.

She importantly highlights skins that are on still living people as it is the best proof that they were indeed tattooed by Wilk.

She then continues to examine ones that were verified to be legitimate from convicts that Hijikata skinned himself; Sekiya and Youichirou.  All of the paper copies as well are correct.  Things then become interesting as she turns to another skin.

Hijikata explains that it was the skin that Ogata found during the showdown in Barato.  She then immediately questions the authenticity of the skin because Ogata procured it on his own.

She asks Hijikata if he knew who this skin could have belonged to but he’s unable to confirm the convict.  Therefore, Asirpa thinks that Ogata’s skin is untrustworthy.

This is a huge change in attitude by Asirpa towards Ogata.  It is clear that when he lied to her about Sugimoto on the ice floe, she yelled at him that she couldn’t trust anything about him.  He went from someone she could trust and rely on to a complete liar. 

I can only see this as the influence of Sugimoto on her in regard to Ogata.  She’s watched Sugimoto lie to people all the time, but she’s never doubted him.  Yet, now anything Ogata has done is 100% suspect.

But as she analyzes the skin, it follows the unspecified rule.

Therefore, Ogata did indeed procure a legitimate skin though finding the hiding place by lighting the fire and freeing the poor son from his oppressive parents.

She questions the skin that Kantaro got since it does not follow the rule but Hijikata thinks it is real since Tsurumi was after it as well.  She’s unsure of the skin as it doesn’t follow the rule but she at least can read one of the kanji now.  But she’s confused as it can be also read as “u” contributing to the code.

Hijikata thinks the skins that Ogata and Kantarou are legit.  Based on things, it seems Asirpa should go with her gut on the skins and really not worry about the identity of the person who acquired the skins, it is just a detail that will bias her opinion of it.

Hijikata assumes all of the skins that Ariko delivered to them are fake.  That is thinking too simplistically in my own opinion b/c it would be too obvious.  However, that is enough to confuse Asirpa and fill her with doubts as she assumes that Hijikata is telling the truth about something that he can’t actually confirm.

Since, some of the skins follow her rule.  This contradicts Hijikata’s own hypothesis.

This means that she panics as she thinks it can’t be correct and perhaps her father’s name is not the key.  Since the fakes follow her rule.  Honestly, I’m a bit saddened that she doesn’t consider the option that Tsurumi threw real skins in the mix, since he took all of the ones that Sugimoto had in the first place.

I think that Hijikata is manipulating her on purpose.  He wants her to break and just give him the information he’s looking for.  Obviously, Ogata is not Hijikata’s favorite person, but he has enough reason to believe some of the things that Ogata says, since he’s clearly more knowledgeable about Tsurumi than he is.

So, Hijikata goes for the highest pressure tactics by stating Ogata told him that she knows the key to the code.  Her panicked response is more than enough to give him the means to push harder.

She’s nervous and anxious and he wants the code.  Since he can read all of the kanji he certainly can figure it out.

So at that point, she lies.  She has come to doubt her own rule and wants to see all of the skins and know which ones are the fakes before she will trust in herself.

I’m sure Hijikata knows that she’s lying and that she knows the code.  But since she hasn’t told anyone this, there is just a bunch of men who know that she knows but they don’t actually know what it is.

There are then two pages of Tsurumi heading to Sapporo by horse and we get the confirmation what I had already suspected.  That Tsurumi mixed in fake and real skins to try to confuse Hijikata’s team.  So, Asirpa is right, but based on her reaction in this chapter, she’s going to be unsure of her confidence in herself and her ability to decode the skins.

The chapter’s action then turns to all of the boys getting wasted.  I do not understand at all what is going on with Shiraishi and Sugimoto discussing Vasily - Shiraishi is polite enough to inquire about him while Sugimoto thinks he’ll be a magical Ogata repellent.  Sugimoto, do you even understand Ogata?  Nope, b/c Vasily certainly won’t keep him away, he’ll likely just be aware of him now more than ever.

We see again the dis-jointed nature of the group, Ariko sits alone, Sugimoto and Shiraishi are together, Young Kantarou hangs back with Toni, Kadokura and Kirawus are close and Boutarou and Ushiyama are off to the side.

Boutarou asks others what they will do with the gold and their answer aren’t unusual, Ushiyama just wants to fight and Kantarou wants to raise sheep and make lots of money but Shiraishi gives him a hard time.  He is rather hesitant with his reply.  Again, there is an odd interplay between these two indicating that they know each other a bit better, he seems almost surprised by Boutarou’s question and he replies with what he already does . . .

We then get a very thoughtful look from him as he reflects on what he wants. I’m sure our pirate is watching him closely.

Asirpa approaches the isolated and socially distant Ariko to ask him about his father also being killed in regards to the gold.  Ariko tells her that he had no idea that his father would be the type of person to be involved in fighting and collecting the gold.  She then shows the coin to him as she tells him that she does not believe her father killed the other Ainu.  He seems nervous as he looks a the coin - I’m sure he realized something here.

But, we don’t get any info other than stating that Asirpa is truly strong.  Ah man, what will happen to Ariko caught between, Tsurumi, Kikuta and Hijikata?

Nagakura then tries to get all the boys to calm down and go to bed and Sugimoto rages back at him drunkenly.

Usami is out trying to find our killer with his ‘magic’ hand but it is failing him.  Thankfully, our journalist is investigating and he is spotted by Usami, who is getting desperate for a break in the case to not let Tsurumi down.  It is clear that the reporter has figured it out and his conversation with himself is loud enough to attract Usami’s attention.

So of course, he’s in trouble based on Usami’s known skill set.

Chapter 248 starts off with Usami clobbering our morally questionable reporter and the two of them immediately recognize each other.

He needs the info and of course he’s too vain to immediately give up the info for his own story.  Usami begins to beat the crap out of him as he wants the map.  He even tries to eat it to prevent Usami getting the map.  Usami isn’t smooth though when he gives away where he’s from and who he’s working for by using the pistol.  This is likely a mistake on Usami’s part as Hijikata will now know that the 7th is in Sapporo perusing our convict.

He’s able to escape and hide while also tearing up the map.  He knows that he needs to relay this info to Hijikata and he manages to evade capture/horrible pain at Usami’s hands.

“Team” Hijikata is out the next day questioning as many different prostitutes as possible to get more information.  Some think it is a government official trying to target illegal prostitution while the group try to tell women to stay off the streets tonight. 

We also learn that the convict is humming the tune ‘Greensleeves’ and has sharp knives and of course a tattoo. There are some funny bits as the group talk to women and figure out a plan.

Kadokura is holding on to Kirawus’s hand to not fall over as he looks uncomfortable.  Ushiyama tells the women to stay home as they are charmed by him and Nagakura is with a nervous Ariko while he says all of the targeted women were looking for customers while streetwalking.

This is a little bit of humor that seems more fitting that the previous chapter’s drunken Sugimoto antics.  As time runs out the group is unsure what to do, but Nagakura of course finds Ishikawa our obnoxious reporter in rough shape.

He was able to let them know that the 7th is after them and he was beaten up also by the 7th and he pathetically hid in a ditch for which he decided to strip down to his underwear for?  Okay.  The good news is he has figured out that the killer is copying Jack the Ripper and he’s figured out the next murder location!  As his original map was torn up, he got a map of London and used it to overlay with Sapporo.  When they compared the London map with the Sapporo map, they are able to determine the next location in reference to the local church.  The brewery!

We also get the face of our killer finally!

And he appears to not be Japanese, unless we see otherwise; he’s got a fancy mustache with light colored eyes (though Hijikata also has them)  But based on the size of his nose, I would say a foreigner.

I wasn’t not thrilled by the ending where our pervy reporter is called out for his hopes to score a meeting with a famous geisha in Tokyo . . . 

Honestly, I’ve been stuck with meta writing as I’ve been distracted by other things and also the fact that it is dwelling on topics that don’t really interest me much. . . . I’m really ready for this arc to be over and to move forward with the great confrontation of a few of our parties.

[book-of-curse]

Digimon was actually legit part 1

Gatomon’s Dark and Tragic Past

The 8th Digidestined plot arc from the first season is one of the best arcs in the show’s entire run - all subsequent seasons included. It’s dark. As a survivor of organized abuse at the hands of a cult, I relate to it on a particularly deep level.

When we get to know Gatomon and Myotismon as characters throughout the course of this plot arc, we see one of the darkest and most complex interplay of characters in the entire show. We see this show portray psychology in a complex way - far more complex than you would expect from a children’s show.

The first time we see Gatomon, we see her as Myotismon’s second in command. She’s a bad guy who hangs out with bad guys; they are a part of an organized group of individuals who have malicious intentions towards many - people and Digimon alike.

We find that, although Gatomon is the highest ranking member of her group, she is still not entirely trusted by Myotismon. During a flashback to their past together, we discover that Myotismon has spent years (because time in the Digiworld is much slower than time in the real world, so it had been several years in the real world since Gatomon had been born and subsequently assigned to Kari) torturing Gatomon into being his slave, specifically punishing her for good deeds and empathy.

“There’s something about your eyes.” Myotismon calls his own downfall in the flashback of the two’s relationship. Myotismon extensively tortures Gatomon, even relative to his other underlings, and claims he does it because he can still see defiance in her eyes. This isn’t surprising; the only other information we are given about Gatomon’s past is a flashback between herself and her friend (also in the service of Myotismon), Wizardmon. She saves him from homelessness and starvation when everyone else around him callously turned a blind eye to him. This shows her as an empathetic person who is concerned with helping others, even when no one else will.

Gatomon, after being tortured extensively for years, turns to “the dark side” - Wizardmon, a person who has presumably been with Gatomon and Myotismon for a similar duration of time, does not appear to have been taken in by Myotismon’s way of thinking anywhere near to the extent that Gatomon was. She is a- seemingly- unambiguously bad character when she is introduced into the show.

That all changes when Gatomon meets Kari. Gatomon, as we see from a later flashback explaining Gennai’s involvement in the creation of the tags, crests, and Digimon themselves, had been extensively psychologically conditioned to serve and protect Kari. Gatomon had one order from Myotismon: destroy the 8th Digidestined before she can reclaim her Digivice, crest, and partner.

Gatomon, after deducing that Kari must be the 8th child, has Kari at her mercy. Kari finds Gatomon on the street and takes her in. There, Gatomon has an internal battle. For the first time since we see her, we see her suddenly stricken with doubt. She comes up behind Kari, apparently ready to make the kill her boss has been so eager to pull off.

She can’t do it, and is immediately caught by Kari’s brother Tai who recognizes her as an enemy Digimon. Agumon’s attack misses Gatomon and looks like it will hit Kari - before Gatomon puts herself in the line of fire, being hit by Agumon’s attack instead of Kari. This leaves Gatomon vulnerable because she is injured, and completely at the mercy of her boss’s enemies.

It was from her attempt to sacrifice herself that Tai and Agumon understand that she is there to protect Kari, and this prevents them from attacking Gatomon when she is at her most vulnerable - they could have easily killed her.

There was something inherently good about Gatomon, even after extensive conditioning, that prevented her from fulfilling Myotismon’s destiny. Instead, she subverts it, attempting to sacrifice herself to protect someone else. Kari mirrors this personality trait. And in the end, they are the reason why Myotismon is vanquished. Without them, their subsequent fights would have been lost. TK and Kari’s love for their siblings and desire to fight with them to the death is the catalyst for Gabumon and Agumon’s mega Digivolutions.

There’s a lot to be said about the occult significance of the crest of light (as a metaphor for illumination, gnosis, self-sacrifice/mercy/death as a catalyst for knowledge which comes with power, and knowledge of the unknown,) and these two characters are emblematic of this higher ideal in their narratives. They regularly face death to do what they feel is the right thing, and this is from where they draw their power. Although Sora is the holder of the crest of love, it is love for their family, friends, and each other that propels these characters to their greatest heights. They are the ones alone who love so strongly that they choose to die rather than betray; they chose to die rather than give up; they chose to sacrifice their lives to protect someone else.

This is a rare personality trait in the real world, and so too was this portrayed in this story - they are the most compassionate and self-sacrificial of all of the characters. Not to say the other characters did not regularly show evidence of this trait; Gatomon and Kari outshines them all. Joe, Sora, Tai, Matt, and all of the others regularly sacrifice themselves to help others. Kari and Gatomon were willing to die to do it, and regularly had their deaths thrown in their face. Ex: the episode where Kari becomes incredibly ill when they are preparing to take on Machinedramon. She was often quite ill and felt like an imposition for this; she should not have, given the unique contribution she brought to the table.

Gatomon has one of the most complex personalities and histories of anyone in Digimon Adventure (and I will admit I think this pair outshines the characters from the subsequent series), with the exception of Ken (and I’ll admit I actually thought Mimi turned into a well-developed character in Digimon Tri.) It’s very cool.

[smallblueandloud]

fsk emotions: the playlist

(i’d like to apologize in advance for how long this is going to get. UPDATE: yeah, this is around 4k, i am So Sorry.)

in case y’all weren’t aware, i have fitzskimmons emotions ALL THE TIME. my poor friends have to deal with me texting them at 11 pm like “i’m freaking out about fsk again” embarrassingly often. so, i figured i’d try to share some of those emotions with y’all, in the form of songs from my private fsk playlist on spotify. 

that playlist is 63 songs long. hopefully i will not feel the need to talk about ALL 63, but i’m not going to make any promises. y’all know what i’m like about this. i’m planning on giving you a list of the songs for your listening pleasure, and then go into detail about the lines / vibes from each song that i think especially fit the ship. we shall see how this goes.

just a warning: my music taste is very all over the place. i associate the sound of 80s love songs with fsk, so there’s gonna be a few of those, but also some weird obscure indie songs and some pop and just... bear with me, okay? these songs are in no particular order, because i have no idea how to make a “”legit”” playlist or whatever the heck y’all are doing to make such good mixes. i’m just gonna stick a tracklist here and move on.

can’t fight this feeling // reo speedwagon

gravity // sara bareilles

new year’s day // taylor swift

don’t go breaking my heart // elton john & kiki dee

dancing in the dark // bruce springsteen

born to be yours // kygo & imagine dragons

i choose you // sara bareilles

ordinary people // john legend

carry on // fun.

blackbird // the beatles

thunder road // bruce springsteen

the long and winding road // the beatles

the archer // taylor swift

army of angels // the script

paper rings // taylor swift

lucky // jason mraz & colbie caillat

wonderwall // zella day

team // noah cyrus

i melt with you // modern english

cornelia street // taylor swift

coroner’s report // molly ofgeography

two // sleeping at last

fair // the amazing devil

arms unfolding // dodie

making love out of nothing at all // air supply

all the song explanations are under the cut, because this is going to get long. there’s also ten honorable mentions if you manage to make it to the end of this. let’s get started!

1. can’t fight this feeling // reo speedwagon

i felt legally required to put this one first because i literally named my magnum opus after it. i like this song a lot on its own, but it specifically reminds me of fsk because the idea of your partner(s) as the place you will always gravitate towards is peak fsk for me. also, these three are canonically each others’ reassurance and rock and i’m just... i love them a lot, okay? this song’s imagery and lyrics have come to be inextricably associated with fsk for me and i love it a lot.

important lyrics: “And even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night”

“And if I have to crawl upon the floor, come crashing through your door Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore“

2. gravity // sara bareilles

this one goes second because it’s probably my favorite song of all time. i play it on repeat whenever i’m feeling sad or anxious or pining or happy or just... anytime, lmao. but i also think it’s a very fsk song, and more specifically the fitzdaisy relationship! not only does it have more of that “gravitating towards each other” theme (more literally in this case), but the lyrics are also... very much fitzdaisy, i think, who are very much each others’ safe space and have been vulnerable with each other from the very beginning.

important lyrics: “ Oh, you loved me 'cause I'm fragile When I thought that I was strong But you touch me for a little while And all my fragile strength is gone”

(although really every single lyric fits really perfectly, so go and check out this song! it’s genuinely my favorite song ever and i think everyone would benefit from a listen or two)

3. new year’s day // taylor swift

the most underrated song from reputation, this song is probably the most INTENSELY fsk song i’ve ever heard. these three have grown up together, have changed together, have left their mark on each other in ways that can never be undone. the thing i’m most nervous for in the series finale is the show completely ignoring that impact (along with all three’s relationships with coulson and may especially!). no matter their romantic configuration, none of them would be the same if they hadn’t known the others. and new year’s day really articulates that, along with a really sweet feeling of trust and the image of them cleaning up together after a party - which makes perfect sense when you think about canon, and how they’d stick together even after leaving the life-changing experience of shield. even though there’s no more life-changing adventures, they’re still going to be together, and that means something. y’all, this song is really good and the best fsk song ever and you NEED to listen to it.

important lyrics: “Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you And I will hold on to you”

“Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere”

4. don’t go breaking my heart // elton john & kiki dee

look, just let them be happy, okay? also, i really love the trust aspect of this song, which i associate intensely with the fsk relationship. after all of the betrayal and pain and suffering they’ve experienced, i really love thinking about how much all three must trust each other, even in canon. also i wrote a fic where all three danced to this song and now i won’t ever get that image out of my head.

important lyrics: “Don't go breaking my heart I couldn't if I tried Honey, if I get restless Baby, you're not that kind”

“And nobody told us 'Cause nobody showed us And now it's up to us, babe Whoa, I think we can make it“

5. dancing in the dark // bruce springsteen

okay, this song is a bit darker than the others but i am a secret lover of springsteen, shh. also the mood works VERY well for three agents of shield who haven’t gotten a break since they left college. i really like the idea of them making their own happiness in the middle of the darkness together, because that’s part of why i’m so emotional about them! they are each others’ safe space and protector!

important lyrics: “You can't start a fire Sitting 'round crying over a broken heart This gun's for hire Even if we’re just dancing in the dark”

6. born to be yours // kygo & imagine dragons

heck yeah, let’s talk about the fact that no one in the ot3 would be the same if they hadn’t met the others! not just that, but the fact that they support each other and are a big reason why each of them have made it through the pain of the series with, like, less trauma then they could’ve. fitz was there for daisy when she developed her powers and is the one who talked her into coming back in s4, daisy was there for jemma when she came back from maveth (and in the framework), and jemma and fitz have been supporting each other since they worked things out in s3. also, they know each other insanely well and i think this song does a great job of expressing that!

important lyrics: “I never knew anybody 'til I knew you I never knew anybody 'til I knew you And I know when it rains, oh, it pours And I know I was born to be yours”

7. i choose you // sara bareilles

they! change! together! thank you for coming to my ted talk! also, i’m just... very obsessed with the idea of them choosing to be together, choosing to try to work through their problems, even when there have been so many. i am also obsessed with the idea of them spending their lives together. leave me alone.

important lyrics: “We are not perfect we'll learn from our mistakes And as long as it takes I will prove my love to you I am not scared of the elements I am underprepared, But I am willing And even better I get to be the other half of you”

8. ordinary people // john legend

i really, really love this song, actually? i’m a big fan of a lot of his music lmao. but i like this song specifically because it’s about how complicated love can be sometimes, and i think fsk’s love gets really complicated sometimes! and like, despite it all, they love each other and they’re trying to work it out. but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s really hard sometimes! (shoutout to the fic i titled with a lyric from this song that exemplifies that exactly)

important lyrics: “I know I misbehaved and you made your mistakes And we both still got room left to grow And though love sometimes hurts I still put you first And we'll make this thing work but I think maybe we should take it slow”

9. carry on // fun.

first off, this song has INTENSE post-framework fitz vibes. this is very much how i headcanon his relationship with violence works after they escape from the framework and fuck canon. but also, just, the idea of them all healing together? the idea of them moving on together after shield? poetic cinema. chef’s kiss. they’ve all changed SO MUCH since the show started, and yeah, not all of that change is good! but at least they’re still together.

important lyrics: “You swore and said we are not We are not shining stars This I know I never said we are Though I've never been through hell like that I've closed enough windows to know you can never look back”

10. blackbird // the beatles

i don’t know what about this song reminds me of jemma but something in this song reminds me of jemma, and fitz and daisy helping her heal. regardless, i am So Into them helping each other heal! mostly because the way that the show refuses to give them a break is SO FRUSTRATING. (also it tends to involve them being soft with each other and i am Weak.)

important lyrics: “Blackbird singing in the dead of night Take these broken wings and learn to fly”

11. thunder road // bruce springsteen

this is probably my second favorite song of all time. i am Absolutely Unbiased For Sure. regardless, i adore the imagery of this song, the contrast between the poetic feeling of it and the down-to-earth lyrics. this song, to me, is about people coming back to each other at the end of a long long journey. being in love while tired and recovering from a long, painful, messy life. and that just fits them... so well.

important lyrics: “Well now I'm no hero That's understood All the redemption I can offer girl Is beneath this dirty hood”

“With a chance to make it good somehow Hey what else can we do now Except roll down the window And let the wind blow back your hair? Well the night's busting open These two lanes will take us anywhere“

(y’all do not understand how hard it was to not copy All The Lyrics. you really really have to listen to this song.)

12. the long and winding road // the beatles

EXACTLY THE SAME THING THAT I SAID FOR THE LAST SONG. god this song works so well for them. they are never going to be able to leave each other because they’re so interconnected and yeah, part of that is circumstance, but so MUCH of that is CHOICE. they CHOSE to spend time together, they CHOSE to spend time together, i’m getting emotional over here.

important lyrics: “The long and winding road That leads to your door Will never disappear I've seen that road before It always leads me here Lead me to you door”

13. the archer // taylor swift

this is THE definitive daisy pov song. try to tell me i’m wrong. you can’t. daisy showing vulnerability is a BIG DEAL because of how easily she deflects things! she shows vulnerability to people she loves, most notably mack, coulson, fitz, and jemma! it physically pains me to think about how much she trusts them, y’all. there’s also this sense of melancholy throughout the song, because she’s never going to be the person that she once was. I’m Upset, Y’all.

important lyrics: “Combat, I'm ready for combat I say I don't want that, but what if I do? 'Cause cruelty wins in the movies I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you Easy they come, easy they go I jump from the train, I ride off alone I never grew up, it's getting so old Help me hold onto you”

14. army of angels // the script

this song is courtesy of @theclaravoyant, who recommended this as THE fsk song, and i think she’s very right! they fight TOGETHER, y’all. i’m very emo about it. their love is TRANSCENDENT and helps them OVERCOME their obstacles and i’m Really Upset About It, okay?? this song especially sounds like jemma’s voice, but it works so well for any of them and i Love It.

important lyrics: “When they got me cornered Close to giving in Oh I feel you round me like a second skin”

15. paper rings // taylor swift

*sobbing* i just want them to be HAPPY. i think part of my feelings about this song stem from, like, how fsk manages to find love during really, really dark times? and manages to be in love with each OTHER during the events of the show, which are VERY DARK as i think we can agree. and yet they managed to get together! and they managed to stick together! and idk, y’all, i’m just so soft for permanent partnerships and people being Married(tm) and this song brings that in SPADES.

important lyrics: “Kiss me once 'cause I know you had a long night Kiss you twice 'cause it's gonna be alright Three times 'cause you waited your whole life”

“I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings Uh huh, that's right Darling, you're the one I want, and I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this“

16. lucky // jason mraz & colbie caillat

this song just SCREAMS domesticity to me and no it’s absolutely NOT because i used a lyric from this song to title my collection of domestic fsk ficlets, i have no idea where you would get such a ridiculous idea. they are all BEST FRIENDS okay and they’re in LOVE and they come HOME TO EACH OTHER at the end of the day. they genuinely like spending time together. god, this song is so cute, i love it so much.

important lyrics: “I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend Lucky to have been where I have been Lucky to be coming home again Lucky we're in love in every way Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed Lucky to be coming home someday”

17. wonderwall // zella day

before you tell me i’m being stupidly cliche, look at the artist. and then realize that the artist doesn’t make a different for how cliche i’m being. first off, this is such a wlw song (google that one car commercial if you don’t believe me) and skimmons is kind of. my peak wlw song. but also this song is so lovely because it’s about people persevering through challenges to be together, even their own feelings, and that’s VERY good and VERY fsk. i’m just very gay, alright? leave me alone.

important lyrics: “And all the roads we have to walk are winding And all the lights that lead us there are blinding There are many things that I would like to say to you But I don't know how Because maybe You're gonna be the one that saves me And after all You're my wonderwall”

18. team // noah cyrus

this song is from @bobbimorseisbisexual’s fsk playlist (thanks al i love you) and it’s VERY GOOD for this ship. god, i have so many emotions about them being on the same team (which is part of why it’s so FRUSTRATING when the show tries to split them up-). especially because trust is such a big aspect of their relationship? look, these are three people who have been betrayed a lot, even by each other. it’s so IMPORTANT that they trust each other to be on the same team!! (also this song is one of the only songs i’ve ever heard that’s apparently singing to both a man and a woman, and i’m gonna ignore the fact that it’s a duet. let me have my poly songs.)

important lyrics: “Whenever you're winning I'll give you strength, boy And I'll share your name, girl 'Cause I'll always be on your, I'll always be on your team Yeah, I'll always be on your team”

19. i melt with you // modern english

this song is sponsored by @florchis, who not only was the person that first told me about this song but also named her entire fsk collection after one of the lyrics. she has very good taste. first off i love how high-energy and happy this song is. declaring your love for someone is a VERY fun thing to do in the best of circumstances! and i just love the idea of them taking time for each other in the middle of all of their shield business. i love them so much, y’all.

important lyrics: “Moving forward using all my breath Making love to you was never second best I saw the world crashing all around your face (let me hear you) Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace (c'mon)”

“I'll stop the world and melt with you You've seen the difference And it's getting better all the time There's nothing you and I won't do”

20. cornelia street // taylor swift

YES, i know this is the FOURTH tswift song on this list. she’s really good at songwriting, okay? also... y’all.. the VULNERABILITY. the LONGING. the idea of having to deal with the very real fear of loss fits VERY well for a ship where everyone involved is in mortal danger three times a week. also, the idea of never being able to separate the memories of a place from the people? that’s peak fsk. i know i keep saying this but they’re all HUGELY INFLUENTIAL on each other and it’s a BIG DEAL!! they’re never going to get over this relationship, this love, and I’m Never Going To Get Over Them.

important lyrics: “And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends I'd never walk Cornelia Street again That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend I'd never walk Cornelia Street again”

21. coroner’s report // molly ofgeography (aka @ofgeography)

first off, everyone should listen to this ENTIRE ALBUM because it’s VERY GOOD. secondly, i know this song is really sad but imagine this as steeling yourself for the series finale. canonverse fsk hurts SO MUCH, y’all, and i love them so much. the metaphor in this song is *chef’s kiss* and the guilt of losing love is.... yeah. i’m sad. please be sad with me.

important lyrics: “How do you bury love, and what gets carved into the stone? If I had waited by the window would love be safe and back at home?”

“We held hands in the procession, black and veiled and strange You said, ‘love was good when love was here,’ it didn't ease the ache“

22. two // sleeping at last

okay i definitely think that part of this is me being an extreme 2 and therefore considering this song the Peak of Romance. which is probably a little unhealthy but leave me alone. i don’t know enough about enneagram types to diagnose any of the ot3, but definitely this song resembles all of them to some extent, especially daisy. (i am in pain.) this song, to me, feels like daisy pining for fs in canonverse. (i am in PAIN.) she would ABSOLUTELY give parts of herself up for them and count on the fact that they wouldn’t notice. god, this hurts so much. i love this song so much. if it helps, i think in a happier universe they all also sacrifice parts of themselves for the others? which hurts too but in a good way.

important lyrics: “Tell me, is something wrong? If something's wrong, you can count on me You know I'll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat”

“I just want to build you up, build you up 'Til you're good as new And maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too“

23. fair // the amazing devil

this song is CRIMINALLY unknown. GO LISTEN TO IT RIGHT NOW AND THEN MEET ME BACK HERE. this song just screams fsk at me. the humor, the depths of love, the good-natured resentment, the depths of love... god. it’s so good. i definitely think the strength of their emotions for each other overwhelm them sometimes. i think they find comfort with each other, i think they tease each other, i think they’re disgustingly in love all the time. god.

important lyrics: “She promises to fight them all when it all becomes too much And he, he curses at the world for Leaving him behind and he's falling out of touch And she is stronger than he's ever been he knows And she brushes her hand through His hair, he's got so much fucking hair”

“And he holds her close just to keep the world at bay And when they're sure no-one can hear them She'll turn to him to say, she'll turn to him and say It's not fair, It's not fair how much I love you“

(yes i DID copy more than i’ve been copying for the rest, because the songwriting in this song and album are PHENOMENAL and YES i will harass y’all until you listen to it because LOOK AT HOW GOOD IT IS.)

24. arms unfolding // dodie

i know, i know, this is a really short song. but it’s really pretty and i think it fits daisy, like, extremely well. think about daisy during early s4, specifically. she loves them enough to break down her walls. that’s what this song is about. and that’s what i’m gonna go cry over now. god this post is so long what the heck.

important lyrics: “Hope I'm not tired of rebuilding 'Cause this might take a little more I think I'd like to try Look at you And feel the way I did before”

“You know I could live without or with you But I might like having you about“

25. making love out of nothing at all // air supply

okay, so i admit it, i’m actually a HUGE fan of really cheesy 80s music. but i really love this song for them? especially jemma. i think it fits jemma really well. first off, it’s that good old vulnerability with admitting that she doesn’t know everything! and it’s admitting that she specifically doesn’t know what she’s doing with this relationship! and admitting how much she loves both of them even though she might not have wanted to! and i think she’s just... so amazed, so so amazed at the way that fitz and daisy are able to forgive and be loving even when they’re in the worst situations? which is definitely a big message of this song. (oh jemma, i love you and your violent tenancies. i see al’s valid criticisms and i am Loving You Anyway.)

important lyrics: “I know all the rules and then I know how to break 'em And I always know the name of the game But I don't know how to leave you And I'll never let you fall”

“And I don't know how you do it Making love out of nothing at all”

jesus CHRIST this got long. i actually also had a bunch more songs that i didn’t have a LOT to say about but i thought they fit anyways, so uh, honorable mentions:

can’t help falling in love // elvis presley (”wise men say only fools rush in / but i can’t help falling in love with you”)

the longest time // billy joel (they’ve influenced each other)

after all // peter cetera & cher (they’re never going to be able to forget the influence they have on each other)

leave a tender moment alone // billy joel (daisy pov for skimmons. that is all)

she // dodie (i am Soft and Gay and skimmons is also Soft and Gay)

bremen // pigpen theatre co. (honestly idk what to say here, it’s just The Vibe)

say something // a great big world (similar vibe to ordinary people)

saturn // sleeping at last (Science and also Influence On Each Other)

celeste // ezra vine (thanks to al for this one too, i REALLY want to write a fic about them and this song at some point)

 you’re the inspiration // chicago (i just love the sound of this song. also i think all of them - but jemma especially - are inspired by the others to be better)

[saieras]

My name is Robert.

The Multiverse exists. Peter has found him.

But his name isn’t Tony.

It’s Robert.

As celebration for 500 followers, enjoy this post-Endgame drabble :)

Taglist at the end. Tagging people who are on the Hearts of Iron taglist, also some people who reblogged @lrel98‘s addition to @itsallavengers‘s post, with a similar premise. Let me know if you want in or out~

Peter squints as he looks out across the panorama, bathed in the lights and sounds and gaudy not-quite-night that New Yorkers are so used to. Streets and avenues stare back at him, at once familiar and foreign. From time to time his gaze would pass over a corner of the city before jerking back to refocus on a building, or a block, or some ordinary intersection, pausing until he picks out a part that’s not quite like the others—like playing a giant, never-ending find-the-difference game.

It’s… jarring. Sure, sprinkled here and there are some blocks that look almost identical to his world’s, but even more parts of the city, entire swaths even, are just… off. The skyline, too, is wrong, with buildings popping up where they shouldn’t, and others leaving gaping voids in their absence.

Like the Avengers Tower… or rather, the lack thereof.

Peter clenches his jaw and tears his eyes away from where the tower is supposed to be. He palms the rough texture of the skyscraper’s exterior. It’s his second-favorite spot to cling to and be moody on. At least the Empire State Building is the same as he remembers, complete with the exact same security camera configurations and blind spots—seriously, what are the odds of that?

For the fourth time since he’s arrived, he wonders why this hugely inconvenient detour happened in the first place. It’s probably his horrid sense of direction at work, he decides. His topographagnosia—that’s legit what it’s called—is probably so bad that it made his Multiverse Quantum Spacetime Guidewatch malfunction. God that’s a mouthful (the watch, not the affliction). Everyone would be better off calling it a Gadget. Or a Gizmo? A Goober?

Yeah, he’ll just call it a Goober from now on.

Peter sighs and stares at the piece of machinery in resignation. To be fair, he did get briefed on the possibility of this exact scenario happening—something close to a one-in-ten-thousandth chance, or so Mr. Beck said—which is kind of impressively low, given the magnitude of what they’ve accomplished.

And, again to be fair, it’s not as if Peter is really… surprised, anymore, especially with his luck in recent months.

He knows he ought to care. He ought to be more worried. He’s supposed to be Spider-Man, supposed to do what he always did when entering a new world: find out what it’s like, locate a safe spot, and gather information. See if it needs his help; because no matter what universe, no matter what dimension, people are people.

But he’s so tired. Fighting, saving people, doing good. More and more often he finds himself wanting to run away as far as possible, to a place that doesn’t need constant saving. You shouldn’t even be doing this, a small voice would nag from time to time. You’re worthless. You never saved anyone. You couldn’t save him.

Peter knows that voice is wrong—because he has these gifts and if he doesn’t use them then what did Uncle Ben die for?—and yet he just can’t seem to help his thoughts. And it’s hard; hard not to feel young, and stupid, and alone, when he knows there won’t be a slightly annoyed voice answering his calls, tired but never hanging up while he blabbers about school, or new ideas, or the day’s herowork.

Then, before he knows it, he’s doing things more to cope than to help. To feel alive himself, than to help others stay alive.

He scoffs. Cope. People always seem to ask how he’s coping. Even people who he knows loves him. May. Pepper. Happy. It makes him angry that they just don’t get it.

As if anyone can just, cope. Just move on. As if he can ever forget that moment the blue light snuffed out.

They all said he’s ‘honoring a great memory’, as if it’s consolation and he should be instantly cheered. Like, yeah, maybe that ought to have given him more of a purpose, but on some nights its… hard. Those nights, when the suit chafes and burns on his skin, when the night air becomes suffocating, when he would see yet one too many red-and-gold graffiti, a tribute—

Peter gulps down air and forces himself to calm down. He’s gotten quite good at that. He bites his lip and blinks.

Pathetic, he thinks, half joking, half bitter. Even after four months, he’s still stuck in this limbo. The brochures and guidebooks, they’re all a bunch of crap—because it didn’t get… hasn’t gotten… will never get better. It’s there, creeping up behind him when he least expects. It’s there, even after he’s learned to shove it beneath sarcasm and witty banter. It distills, condenses, reverberates; sometimes overwhelms.

It’ll take three days for the field to recharge and re-align itself. Three days to spend in this strange alternate dimension, this less-swanky version of his New York, with dirtier air and heavier clouds, but also more people, more hustle and bustle, more energy.

But no… him. Never him. Peter’s looked. He’s been to six other universes already.

No him.

He turns and leans his forehead against the cool glass. The dark inky surface dances and pulses with the city lights behind him.

“I miss you, Mr. Stark.” His breath fogs on the smooth pane. He has to try really fucking hard so his voice doesn’t crack.

He forces air into him, to push back the tightness.

“Please… let me find you.”

Silence answers him, like it always does.

The vibrations are what he notices first, passing through the concrete and stone and steel of the building’s bulk to tickle at his soles, like tremors in a spider’s web.

Peter tilts his head, feeling the stiff sinews of his neck crack and pop. He’s been staying in the same spot for an hour, he reckons.

Then the faintest of melodies reach him, and he realizes that the vibrations are music. Very loud music.

Somewhat groggy, Peter turns his head to look up, where the rest of the Empire State’s impressive height disappears into the gloom. He shrugs. Couldn’t hurt, he decides. Besides, the music is kind of good—unfamiliar and different in style, but good.

He webs and climbs the rest of the way up, still careful to avoid the cameras. As he gets closer to the top, he makes out burning beams of light poking into the sky. He makes out laughter and the din of conversation. He makes out cheers and applause and the click of cameras.

It’s a good thing the Building is a carbon copy of the one in his world, or someone would have found him by now. Peter swings and jumps expertly in the blindspots, and soon he’s just below the Observation Deck.

Where a party is in full swing.

Practically next to the Deck, now, Peter pokes his head over the railings, relying on his Sense to tell him where the crowds are thinnest. Tuxedoed men and elegant women are everywhere, laughing and chatting and dancing, glasses of champagne in their hands. They all seem to be converging on one side of the Deck, so Peter takes this chance to hop over the railings and shimmy his way up to the terrace above.

There must be close to a hundred people in attendance tonight. Peter thinks they must be either business people or entertainment people—he sees quite a few lavish dresses, blazing with colors and ostentatious display, looking not at all practical to move around in.

Peter wonders what the party is for. Then again he doesn’t really care. He occupies himself by observing the way the people move, the way they talk. The suit helps filter out the worst of the bright lights and sounds, and he sticks himself to a wall, just quietly watching.

It’s been so long since he’s been to a party. When was the last time?

Ah, that Stark Industries Charity Tony had roped him into attending, a few months before Thanos. ‘Pepper forced me to go so now I’m forcing you to go,’ the man had said, grinning. ‘Misery loves company, kid.’

That was a century ago.

Peter sighs. Maybe he’ll recognize some people here, he thinks, even if they’re not the people he wants to recognize. He’s already seen six incarnations of the Kardashians across as many universes, for example, and his mouth twitches in disgust at the thought of meeting a seventh. It makes him angry to think people like them exist across the multiverse, but not the warm, sarcastic voice he hears in his dreams, or the hand he wants to feel ruffling his hair after missions, saying, ‘good job, kid’.

He brushes his thoughts away.

Well, guess what? Life doesn’t work the way you want. Suck it up, Parker.

A round of thunderous applause drowns out his thoughts. Peter huffs. Another celebrity has probably just arrived; either that, or some kind of speech is about to start. He couldn’t care less, either way. Someone clears their throat

“Hello, hello!”

Peter almost falls off the antenna. His head whirls to pinpoint the voice, a ship homing in to the beam of a lighthouse. He yanks off his mask, and the world assaults him with information and sound and light, and his heart rate skyrockets to probably over 150, pounding relentless at his temples. He ignores all that. They don’t matter. He doesn’t matter. He fixes his gaze in the direction where most of the applause is coming from.

All that matters is the voice, that voice, his voice—Peter holds his breath, throat throttled, his mind a potpourri of fleeting words and formless thoughts and disbelief and disbelief and disbelief. And beneath it all… a hint of what strays dangerously close to hope.

“Thank you, thank you all so much for coming!”

It’s him. It’s got to be him. The timbre, the confidence, the hidden smirk. The warmth.

Peter never ran so fast in his life. Ran, hopped, skipped. He could’ve thwhipped himself over, but his entire body was shaking and he didn’t trust his aim. He skids to a halt by the end of the terrace, panting hard even though the short sprint should’ve been like a casual stroll to his enhanced body.

He hesitates a split second. Then he looks down—

It’s him It’s him It’s hIM IT’s HIM IT’S HIM. He is here, he is in this universe. He is alive, alive, aliVE, ALIVE, ALIVE.

Peter crumples onto the floor, barely keeping enough wits about himself to rein in the volume of his gasping breaths. They came, and came, and came, wracking his thin wiry form, tsunamis of joy and relief, and still that disbelief. Abruptly he snaps his head up over the low concrete wall, terrified that the man would be whisked away if he so much as blinked, like a mirage, a hologram, another one of BARF’s cruel simulations.

And he’d lose him again.

But no. The man is still there, still present, right there. Talking. Laughing. Holding a champagne glass. He says a toast, mingles with some celebrities, takes a sip.

Peter laughs. It’s a quiet laugh, yet somehow hysterical. Half-deranged.

Seven worlds. Seven universes.

I found you, he thinks. I found you.

He thinks it so strongly, so violently, that he can almost imagine it hurtling across the air, louder than any shout or declaration.

I found you, Mr. Stark.

“Bye honey! Love you!”

Robert puts down his phone and smiles fondly in the direction of the Hamptons, invisible behind New York’s skyline and its pulsating, effervescent night. Just a short drive away, Susan and the kids are waiting for him, with the promise of pop tarts and a family movie night. No, nothing from the MCU… Exton’s in a bit of a Batman phase right now, and Avri idolizes her brother.

Hey, at least he’ll be watching a different billionaire superhero on screen for a change!

Robert chuckles and shakes his head. The whirlwind press tour ended not too long ago, and overall, he’s had a very good few days. It’s nice to finally have the chance to wind down and enjoy a well-earned meal or two with his friends and co-stars, not to mention a few (more than a few!) video calls with his family.

The din of the party grows louder behind him. He’s been able to excuse himself from the general hubbub with Susan’s phone call, and he breathes in the night air, not exactly in a hurry to get back. He’s always loved the energy and goodwill coming from the fans, but eleven years and ten movies in, it’s both bittersweet and incredibly satisfying to have completed his journey in such a way. This fundraiser ball will be the last official engagement for him in quite a while, and he’s looking forward to the peace and quiet (not that things are ever that quiet with a 7-year-old and a 4-year-old).

A small voice pipes up from behind him.

“M-Mr. Stark?”

Robert snorts. No rest for the wicked, it seems. All the same, he turns around and cocks an eyebrow, stepping effortlessly into character. A trivial kindness on his part can be the highlight of someone else’s day, so why not play Tony for a little while longer?

“Alright, you found me,” he says with a quick shrug. The light from the skyscraper’s spire blinds him temporarily, and he can only make out the shadow of a figure. “And you are? Come on, step forward.”

The figure remains frozen. Robert squints. It’s a man, he thinks—not very tall (which is saying something, coming from him), and built rather strong. Probably one of the younger guests at the ball.

He beckons again. He knows how to deal with star-struck fans. “Come on,” he says, this time letting a bit of warmth into his voice. “I’m not gonna fire a missile at you. Unless you’re secretly from HYDRA?”

The young man is trembling, Robert notices—so violently that, even with a good ten feet’s distance and his silhouette darkened by backlight, the shiver is still apparent.

The actor shrugs. Sometimes fans get more than a bit overwhelmed; he’s not one to judge. He takes a step, still squinting, and hears a sniff. Ah, so they’ve probably seen Endgame, huh.

But then, finally, the person steps closer.

Robert’s mouth drops open. Then he beams. “Tom? I thought you’re in Mexico!” He strides forward, arms outstretched. “Should’ve given me a heads-up that you were dropping in!”

Tom is oddly silent, but Robert hears an unmistakable gasp as his arms wrap around the young man. There’s a split second pause, and then Tom is hugging him back, almost uncomfortably tight.

“Woah there,” Robert says, taken aback. “Press tour that bad, huh?”

Tom doesn’t answer. He’s still trembling. Robert frowns at the texture at his fingertips.

“Is that—” he looks down, and laughs. “Did you smuggle that off set?”

Tom still doesn’t answer. Instead, he… whimpers. There’s no other word for it. He whimpers: a plaintive, tiny noise, halfway broken.

“Mr. Stark,” he croaks, and buries his face in Robert’s shoulder. Then, quietly, powerfully, he begins to sob.

Robert rubs his co-star’s tense heaving shoulders. For a prank scene, Tom is really giving it his all—tears are coming hard and fast, and already the fabric of his tuxedo is damp. You owe me a new suit, Robert thinks fondly as he settles into the rhythm of the shoot. He wonders where the cameras are at, and wonders where they’ll use this footage; maybe on the press tour for Far From Home?

He expects someone to shout And Cut from the sidelines. Tom just hasn’t stopped crying, and his grip is tighter than ever. But then a full minute passes, and all he hears is the buzz of conversation back from the party, and the occasional whistling wind, and Tom’s quiet, devastated sobs.

Surreptitiously he glances around. He’s been in the industry long enough to know every possible camera angle they can surprise him with, and… he doesn’t see a camera. Not even a drone.

This is him, Robert realizes with a pang in his heart. Just him.

He hasn’t seen this kind of panic in the young actor ever since the early days of Spider-Man’s inception into the MCU, and even back then, Tom had certainly never just… broken down, like this. Robert doesn’t ask about why he’s here at the party, why he’s in costume, and a million other questions that demand answers. Those can come later.

“Hey,” he says, gently brushing the young man’s hair. “Hey, hey. It’s okay, buddy.”

“I’m sorry,” Tom gasps. “I-I’m s-sorry, Mr. Stark.”

Robert frowns. He double and triple-checks that there really is no camera, before his gaze comes back to the boy in his arms. It makes no sense. Why would Tom not drop character? Yet the emotions seem so genuine.

“Do you want to go inside for a bit and talk?” Robert offers finally, unsure again whether or not this whole thing is a prank.

Tom seems to consider for a moment, before he nods. Almost sheepishly he steps away from Robert, still sniffling. He takes a shaky breath, visibly steadying himself.

“I’m so, so sorry, Mr. Stark,” he says, glancing at his feet. “I… I guess I’m called Tom in this dimension but I…” he trails off.

Robert’s frown deepens. Before he can further question his young co-star, though, his phone buzzes, and out of habit he slips it out of his pocket.

It’s a message. From Tom.

[Tom Holland]: just wrapped up press tour in Mexico!

[Tom Holland]: heard u’re on the last leg too, Boss Man, so congrats

[Tom Holland]: oh and jake says hi

[Tom Holland]: see u stateside! say hi to susan & the kids for me :)

[Tom Holland]: Sent a photo.

Robert swipes his phone open. It’s a photo of Tom and Jake, making the webshooting motion as they enter the airport gates, a crowd of fans behind them. Robert blinks. He lifts his gaze.

Tom is in front of him, in costume, head still lowered.

He looks down at his phone. Double-checks the time-stamp.

Tom is in Mexico. About to fly.

Robert feels dizzy. He looks back and forth between the two Toms, then focuses his attention on the Tom who’s here. He reaches out and touches his cheeks, trying to see if there’s make-up or even a face mask. Tom lifts his head at the contact. His eyes are red and twinkling still. His face is entirely real.

“Who… are you?” Robert asks in a whisper.

“I’m, I-I’m Peter,” the young man stammers. “Peter Parker.” He looks on the verge of tears again. “Mr. Stark, you have no idea, I just—I’ve been to so many dimensions and—”

“I’m not Mr. Stark,” Robert says, numbly. He pinches a cheek, his own this time. It hurts. It’s real. “My name is Robert.”

Not-Tom looks as if he’s about to say something when he blinks. A split second later, he leaps up—ten feet, easy—over Robert, over the balcony, and over the railings.

Robert’s heart almost stops. He rushes to the edge of the Deck, and looks down in stunned horror.

The young man hasn’t fallen. Instead, he is plastered to the side of the building—no wires, no safety harness, no equipment of any kind. Just… sticking.

Robert blinks. Blinks again. His mind is blank.

Not-Tom seems to sense something, and looks up. Their eyes meet. Not-Tom gives him a small, grateful smile.

“Robert?”

Robert jumps. He whips around to see Gwyneth, who happens to be at this event.

“Oh hey,” he says. He gulps even though his mouth feels dry. “Hey.”

Gwyneth smiles. “You were taking so long they sent me to find you. Everything fine back home?”

“Uh, yeah! Of course, of course.”

“Good to hear. Come on, they’re waiting for your speech.”

And with that, she’s already moving away.

Robert breathes out. He casts one last look over the railings.

Not-Tom is still there, clinging to the building. Peter is still there. The boy hasn’t looked away, and upon catching Robert’s gaze, his eyes shine.

“Wait for me,” Robert blurts out. “I want to talk to you.”

Peter’s eyes widen. Then he nods.

“Okay.”

Part 1 of 2. Also on AO3.

My main post-Endgame Iron Family fic is Hearts of Iron!

TAGLIST:

@a-bit-of-space  @aelebubble  @aleteia-ff  @alstonnovak  @anaevenss  @and-yes-i-write-irondad-fic  @avengersandco  @a-room-full-of-stars  @a-sweet-little-fangirl  @bluefire-lost  @bucky-to-my-barnes  @chamiryokuroi  @cherryp-ie  @chiefhiccstrid  @chocolatecarstairs  @curlyshawnie  @fan-writer02  @hermioengarngre  @h-osterfield  @insanearesane  @istanacrowbarvictim  @jess-b-thot  @josierosie  @jubpajub7  @kyriefics  @leuyen2004  @madd09  @mandaloriandragontrainer  @morganstarkh  @ms-fluffy2  @multifandom-slytherin  @my-babies-are-no-longer-ash  @oceaneyedaniel  @omegabeast27  @riiiiiida  @sandsbuisle  @sebashtianstans  @starkerisfuckinglife  @starkravinghazelnoots  @trustfundparker  @tonystarkdeservestobehappy  @tonystarkz  @tonystvkrs  @tyrusshipper12  @who-knows-who-cares910  @winston-wilson  @writing-in-winter

[chickensarentcheap]

Best Part of Me -Chapter 71

Warning: profanity

Tagging: @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​

“We need to talk.”

It’s the easiest way to transition into it that he could come up with. After the meeting with Anil, he’d stalled as long as he possibly could. Spending the remaining hours of the day keeping the news secret while working himself to a state of sheer mental exhaustion attempting to come up with the best possible way to tell her.  Plastering a smile on his face and adopting an easy going attitude -both fake-  while both doting on and spoiling his pregnant wife AND spending time with the kids; easily submitting to every request and demand while simultaneously showing them with affection.  

The moment he’d seen the photos of Neysa and Aarav, he’d known his fate was sealed; he’d be going to Dhaka and there was a damn good chance he wouldn’t be coming back. Too many ghosts there; too many painful memories. The cards already stacked against him before he even steps foot in Bangladesh; an enormous bounty on his head, his face and name plastered everywhere and readily available to everyone from normal citizens to the police to the military. It will make navigating the streets extremely difficult. His side and build alone will attract considerable attention AND suspicion, and if he needs to talk to some of the locals, they won’t have a hard time recognizing his tattoos or pinpointing his accent.

Seven years ago he’d been the one initially in the background; simply there to protect the person entrusted with getting the information needed before it was time for his part of the job to begin.  And even if he is successful in both getting around Dhaka without being spotted AND getting the three safely out, the chances of surviving himself -even with backup- are slim. Once the shooting starts, the place will become a war zone; regular citizens, the cops, the military. It won’t take long for them to assemble, and no matter how quick and quiet the actual extraction is, getting himself the fuck out will become the biggest hurdle. The end is often the hardest push; when you’re exhausted and hurting and mere minutes...mere feet...from freedom.  That’s when you tend to let your guard down; thinking you’re in the clear and you’re finally starting to catch your breath and the adrenaline is beginning to wane.  He’d made that mistake in Dhaka the first time around; believing he’d taken out the last of his targets and that situation was no longer ‘hot’ or ‘hostile’. Until Farhad had shot him from behind and put one in his neck. It's the worst mistake he’s ever made on the job; turning his back and thinking he was in the free and clear. It was a huge fuck up; completely uncharacteristic on his part. And he’s determined not to screw up that badly again.

This isn’t the way he wanted to spend his night; telling her about Dhaka and his decision to go there. But despite his best efforts it’s been eating away at him; struggling to keep that smile on his face and his nerves and emotions under control for the sake of his wife and kids. There’s so much going on inside of his brain that’s hard to prioritize just what to feel; which one the emotional should be first and foremost. Pure and utter rage directed at Mahajan for ever getting OVi -and in turn, everyone around him- involved in such bullshit in the first place.  Frustration at having to take so much time off to recuperate; unable to help get things handled sooner. Fear and worry not only for himself, but that he’ll have to once again be away from his family and rely on others to keep them safe. So much torturing an already battered and weary brain that he feels as if he’s struggling to hold on to his last threads of sanity.

“Uh-oh,” Esme frowns, as she raises her head from his chest and looks at him.

It’s a beautiful night; no humidity and a cool breeze blowing through, no sounds but the rippling of fountains in the ponds below and the chirping of crickets. After all the kids had settled, they’d retreated to the balcony off their bedroom; lying together on the two person lounge chair, both of his arms wrapped securely around her and her head resting against him. Neither of them speaking; her body completely relaxed against his and her eyes closed; his wide open and staring up at the night sky while his brain continues its torture.

“I don’t like the sound of that,” she says. “Nothing good  ever comes after ‘we need to talk’. I should know; I use it all the time. Nothing about us, right?”

“What?” Tyler gives a small, incredulous chuckle and then combs a hand through her hair; palm settling against the back of her head. “Of course not. We’re good. We’re more than good.”

“I saw your face; after you talked to Anil. I knew something was up right away. But I also knew you weren’t ready to say anything. That’s why you threw yourself into doing things with the kids and waiting on me hand and foot. You were totally stalling.”

He nods.

“It must not be good news then. For you not to say anything right away.”

“It’s pretty bad, actually.”

“Okay…” she rolls over onto her stomach and rests her chin on his chest. “...just how bad are we talking? Are you talking normal bad, pretty bad, or pretty fucking bad?”

“Pretty fucking bad,” he says, as he pushes her bangs off her forehead and tucks hair behind her ears. “In all capital letters.”

“They need you back out there, don’t they.”

“Yeah. They do.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised. It was bound to happen. I’m actually more shocked it didn’t happen sooner. I guess I should just be happy that we got as much time as we did. I was only expecting a couple days and I got over a week. That���s pretty damn good actually; a lot better than the times you go away and you don’t come home for almost a month.”

“I said I’d stay. That I wouldn’t leave you and the kids here alone.”

“We’re not exactly alone. And while I would prefer you here and not out there getting shot at and God knows  what else, at least it isn’t just the kids and I trying to fend for ourselves. Things aren’t going well out there, are they. They’re not doing so good on the list?”

“Anil says they’re down to two names. That’s a lot quicker than I thought things would go.”

“So why do they need you then? If they’ve handled everyone else on it so far, what makes the last two so difficult?”

“It actually has nothing to do with the list. I wish it did though.”

“Oh God,” Esme groans, and glides her knuckles along his jaw, beard rough against the skin. “I don’t like that look on your face. What’s happened? What’s going on?”

“They got to Neysa and Aarav. Mahajan’s people.”

Her eyes widen in panic. “They’re not…”

“No. They’re not dead. But if things keep going the way they are, they’ll wish they were.”

“You saw them? How? A video? Pictures?”

“Both. Pictures were taken three days ago. Video was this morning.”

“How do they look? How bad are they? How…?”

He keeps his emotions under control by continuously sliding his fingers through her hair; marvelling at the way moonlight causes it to shimmer and just how soft it is to the touch. “They’re pretty banged up.  But they look more scared than anything.”

“I know I would be.  That used to be my worst nightmare when I did what I did. That someone would catch on to me and grab me and take me somewhere to teach me a lesson. Did they make any demands? What do they want? What…?”

“There’s more to it.”

“It gets worse? How much worse could it possibly get?”

“They’ve got Nathan too. He’s pretty fucked up. Was putting up a good fight though, I’ll give him that.”

Esme scowls. “That doesn’t make any sense. He’s been gone for a week and a half and they’re just letting you guys know they have him? Doesn’t that seem a bit strange to you? That they’ve had him all this time yet they didn’t reach out? You’ve been in the game a hell of a long time. Think of all the things you’ve seen and heard. Don’t they usually reach out before this?”

“Usually,” Tyler admits. “Why? What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking it’s weird. That all of a sudden he just shows up.  Just as quick as he left. And how convenient is it that they have him? It’s been a week and a half and there hasn’t been a single peep from them all that time? How bad did he look?”

“Pretty beaten up.”

“Was he missing any body parts? Did he  look like he could walk on his own? Did it look like they’ve been starving him?”

“He looked like Nathan. Just a fucked up version of him. Like he caught a beating but nothing too major. You think it’s faked?”

“It’s happened before. It’s how you got sucked into the whole McMann thing. Those pictures of his wife and his kids. Would it honestly surprise you if Mahajan sunk to that level?  If Nathan IS the mole, is it too far of a reach to think he’s in on it and making it look as good as he can?”

“He did drop my name. First and last. Told them I’d be the one who’d come and get him.”

“Sounds like he’s trying to lure you there,” Esme concludes. “I don’t trust him, Tyler. Not after everything you’ve told me.”

“The files you got from the Marines didn’t show anything out of the ordinary.”

“Doesn’t mean there isn’t, though. Just means he wasn’t caught. You don’t trust him, do you? You can’t honestly tell me you believe him.”

“I saw it. The video. Seemed legit.”

“So did April McMann in her video. We need more proof. That it IS Nathan. Because we find out it IS him, we can just leave him there to rot.”

“Can’t leave Neysa and Aarav . Gotta get them out somehow.”

“You mean someone has to get them out,” she corrects. “Because I know you’re not talking about yourself.”

His fingers continue to move through her hair; pushing it away from the sides of her face and over her shoulders, palm sliding slowly along  the back of her neck and down to the middle of her back.

“I know you’re not talking about yourself,” Esme says. “There’s no way you are. Because you are not ready for that kind of thing. Not in the slightest.”

“I’m almost at ninety percent.”

“Since fucking when? This morning you said it was seventy five. You just skipped ahead another fifteen just like that?”

Tyler sighs. “Baby…”

“No. Don’t you dare. Don’t you ‘baby’ me. You ARE talking about yourself. When it comes to getting them out. You weren’t talking in general.  You actually meant you. As in you have to do it.”

He nods.

“An extraction. They want you to do an extraction.”

“I’ve done hundreds of them. You know that.”

“You don’t have to do this one. Tell them no. Tell them you’re not doing it; that you’re not ready for that. Because you’re not. And you’re lying if you say you are.”

“I’m in a lot better shape right now than I was seven years ago for Ovi’s extraction,” Tyler argues.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. Yeah, you had your issues back then. Most of them caused by booze and those stupid goddamn pain meds. But you were in damn good shape. A week and a half ago, someone drugged you. They were going to take you God knows where and do God knows what to you. Your back is messed up, your knee is fucked, and your shoulder is even worse. And you’re lying to yourself if you say those things are better now.”

“I’m almost back to where I am.”  

“No. You’re not. You’re nowhere near it. So you’re going to tell Anil you’re not doing this. That you’re going to stay here with your family. Where you're safe. Because you’re not safe out there. Even in the best shape you wouldn’t be. Tell them, Tyler. Tell them to get someone else.”

“There IS no one else,” he argues. “Who do I have...besides Nathan...that’s done an extraction? We were holding off on hiring more experienced guys until this was over, remember? That’s what we agreed on. That once things were done and settled, we’d bring more people on. And now Nathan’s caught up in this and I have no one else. There’s only me.”

“Then tell Nik to get one of her people. One of her experienced guys.”

“She doesn’t want to bring anyone else in. It's a big enough mess as it is.”

“Anil must have someone.”

“They took out seven of Anil’s best guys. And they do bodyguard work; that’s it. He went into business with us so we could supply him with mercs. So he doesn’t have to train his people to do this kind of shit.  There is no one else.”

“There HAS to be. There can’t be just you. There has to be someone else.”

“Esme…” His voice is firm as he takes her face in his hands. “...there’s not.”

“And let me guess; you already told Anil you’d do it. You already made up your mind. I don’t really get a say in all of this, do I.”

“I can’t leave them there. I can’t. And I know you wouldn’t want me to. She’s your friend.”

“She is,” Esme agrees. “But you’re my husband and that makes you a little more important to me. And I know you’re not ready for this. I see the pain you’re in; I see it every second of every day. And it was bad enough before all of this. I do NOT want you doing this.”

“I have to.” He presses her lips against her forehead. “I have to. I can’t leave them there. I owe it to Saju to get them out. After what he did? Giving up his life to protect you? And Ovi? I have to do this.”

“Unreal. You are fucking unreal, you know that?” She shoves his hands away from her face, then angrily yanks the sides of the hoodie around her body as she sits up. “I love you, but sometimes I don’t fucking understand you. Why would you go back out there? Why wouldn’t you just stay here with me and the kids?  Why are you so hell bent  on going back onto the street and getting killed? Don’t fucking be who you were seven years ago. Because lots of people rely on you to be okay. Don’t be a selfish prick, Tyler!”

“You mean the selfish prick I was seven years ago when I didn’t tell you to fuck off in Dhaka? That selfish prick? The one that fucked you and still kept you around even though he should have sent you away? The one that dragged you into this life? Who helped bring kids into it? THAT selfish prick?”

“Don’t you even start with that shit! That is way off base and you know it. You didn’t force me to stick around. You didn’t hold a gun to my head so I’d marry you and give you children. So don’t even start with that.”

“I didn’t exactly stop any of those things from happening, did I.”

“Because there was nothing wrong with what we were doing! We both knew what we were getting into. I could have said no in Dhaka, but I didn’t. Because I wanted it to happen. I wanted you. In the same way I wanted to marry you and have a family with you.  It is NOT the same thing.”

He snags her by the back of the sweater when she attempts to stand. “Where are you going? We’re not fucking finished. We’re talking about this.”

“What’s there to talk about? You made up your mind. You’re going. You said you’d go, then go. Pack your shit and leave. If Neysa and Aarav are more important to you than your own family…”

“How can you fucking say that? Nothing is more important to me than you and my kids. Don’t stoop that low.”

She tries to wiggle out of the hoodie in order to free herself, then heaves a loud, angry sigh when he wraps an arm around her waist to keep her in place. “We should have talked about this. You should have come to me first.  Not just go ahead and tell Anil you’d do this!”

“That’s what you’re pissed about? That I didn’t talk to you about it first? I don’t need your goddamn permission.

“It’s not about needing my permission. It’s about respecting me enough to let me know ahead of time you’re sending yourself out on a suicide mission. And talking about needing permission? Oh that’s rich, Tyler. Who’s the one that always needs it from you? I can’t even volunteer at the school or go to a moms social group or have friends because you don’t want me to. Yet you can’t talk to me about this?”

“When have I ever told you that you need my permission to do anything? It’s not about not wanting you to do things or talk to people, it’s about wanting to keep you safe.”

“Because you’re paranoid as fuck that there’s always someone out there wanting to kill me!”

“Well right now there are people who want to kill you. So can we not fight about this?”

“Leave me alone,” she orders, and tries to use her elbows to push him away. “Let go of me.”

“No.” Tyler tightens his hold on her, then sits up. “You’re not going anywhere. We’re going to talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about!” Esme insists. “You already decided. You’re going. So go.”

He curls his other her waist and then slides behind her; a leg on either side of her body, chest pressed against her back. “Don’t talk like that.”  He presses a kiss to her temple, then her ear and her cheek.   “You don’t want me going.”

“That’s EXACTLY it! I DON’T want you going. I want you to stay here. Would you stop?” She huffs dramatically and once more attempts to squirm away from him. “Leave me alone! Don’t be so kissy and touchy feely and shit. I’m mad at you!”

“You never stay mad at me for very long.”

“I can hold a grudge for a very long time, thank you very much. So don’t test your luck, buddy. I love you, but I could shake the ever loving shit out of you right now. I don’t understand why you would agree! I get that you feel some kind of responsibility because  you brought Saju into things in Dhaka and look how that ended. But there are other people who can do extractions. Are you suddenly the only experienced merc on earth?”

“No. But I’m the best. And I’m the only one with experience at Anil’s disposal. And I know I said I’d stay here, but I also told you that I gave Anil mu word that I’d go back out if I was needed. And now I’m needed.”

“You’re needed here too,” Esme reminds him. “Or did you forget that?”

“The kids will be fine. They’ll be safe here. They’ve got Nik and Anil’s people watching over them. They’ve got all those nannies and they’ve got Uncle Kyle. Ovi’s even going to come and stay and give them another familiar face.”

“I notice you didn’t mention. Where am I going to be?”

He presses a kiss to her cheek. “With me.”

****

“Oh what a damn second!” She uses her elbow to push him back. “You’re deciding THAT now too? That I’m going with you and getting involved in this?”

“Well technically you are involved in this.”

“Fuck your ‘technically’. I’m not in the game anymore, remember? I’m just the supportive wife. And I’m not feeling very  supportive towards you right now. Why the hell would I get mixed up in this?”

“I might need your help.”

“How could I possibly help you? Moral boosting blowjobs? I don’t think so.”

“I might need an intel person. If Anil can’t find out what I need…”

“Then get one from him. Or Nik. I assume they both have intel people.”

“I don’t want just any person. I want someone I can trust. And I trust you.”

She frowns. “You really need to broaden your circle of trust, you know that?”

“It’ll be two or three days. Tops.”

“Did you suddenly forget we have children?”

“There’s a nanny for each one. And two extra.”

“I’m their mother!” Esme argues. “Addie isn’t even three months old yet!”

“Three days tops,” Tyler insists. “They’ll be fine. There’s tons of people here to take care of them.”

“You’re insane. I’m pregnant, remember? And you want me out there on the street? Are you serious right now?”

“I just need you to do some intel. It’s not you people will recognize. It’s not your face that’s plastered everywhere. Not yet, anyway.”

“You are not helping your cause.”

“You’re smart. You’re tenacious. You’re strong. And I trust you. I need you.”

“I may be all those things, but I also have a human being inside of me. That YOU put there. Yet you want me out there? Tyler…”

“You’ll be fine. You can do this. You won’t be alone. I’ll always be watching your back. You know I will.”

“This is insane!”

“Baby, I need your help.  And I know I said I’d never ask for it again…”

“You’re right. That’s exactly what you said.”

“But I trust you, With my life. More than I trust anyone else.”

Esme sighs heavily, body finally relaxing against his. “Before I agree to anything, I need to know where we’re going.”

“That’s where it gets a little complicated,” Tyler admits.

“Oh fuck. Of course it does. Why do I even ask? Where is it?”

“Dhaka.”

“Are you out of your fucking mind!” She uses both elbows to shove him onto his back, then springs to her feet. “Tell me you’re out of your fucking mind. That you’ve finally lost it. Because that is the only thing that can explain this. Tell you’ve actually snapped and gone insane and that’s why you’re doing this.”

“Esme…” he sits up and reaches for her, fingertips brushing against the backs of her thigh before she steps away; backing her into the balcony railing. “Esme…”

“You can’t be serious! Dhaka? You want ME to go to Dhaka? Of all goddamn places! You know the last seven years have been like. How screwed up I am because of that place and what happened there. Yet you want me to willingly go back. Are you fucking crazy?”

“I can’t help where they’re being held.”

“No. You can’t. But you can say  no to going there. And not expect me to go there.”

“It has to be me. I’m the only one who can  get them out. I can’t help where they’re being held.”

“I am not okay with going there. And I’m definitely not okay with you going there. Did you forget you have PTSD from that place? From what happened on the bridge? Because I can’t forget that. I can’t forget what happened and I certainly can’t forget what it did to you.”

Tyler slides forward on the lounge chair, perching on the edge as he lays his hands on her hips. “I need your help.”

“I can’t go there. I can’t. Because I will lose my goddamn mind if I do. Because all I’ll be able to think about is what happened seven years ago. All I’ll be able to think about is what happened in the woods and what happened at Gaspar’s and what happened on the bridge. I can't do that to myself. Why would YOU do it to me?”

“I’ll be with you. You’re not going alone. I’ll be there and I’ll have your back; nothing’s going to happen to you. I need your help, Esme. And I wish I didn’t. Or at the very least, I wish I trusted someone else. But I don’t. I trust YOU. And I want you to do this. I NEED you to do this.”

“I can’t!” she cries. “I can’t go there. I can’t, Tyler. It’s too hard. I’m still dealing with left over shit from seven years ago. But you want me just to walk back in there like it’s no big deal? You don’t realize how bad that place would fuck me up? Even worse than I already am?”

“I’ll be there with you. We’ll be together. I won’t let anything happen to you. You trust me?”

“You know I do. But this isn’t about whether I trust you or not. This about being able to mentally survive that place. What if I get there and totally lose it?”

“You won’t.”

“What if I end up back on that bridge? I WON’T get past that. I will not be able to cope with that.”

“I’ll be there with you,” Tyler stresses. “I’ll get you through it.”

“Oh that seems fitting, doesn’t it? You having to get me out of Dhaka and off the bridge a second time. I don’t want to go there. And I definitely don’t want you going there. You almost died there!”

“You don’t think I know that? I’m the one who got shot in the fucking neck.”

“I almost lost you to that place once. I don’t want the second time to be successful. And what if something happens to both of us?”

“Nothing like that is going to happen.”

“If something or someone takes both of us out, our kids are left with no one. No mom, no dad. Then what? What happens to them? They go into the fucking system? They end up separated and in foster homes?”

“Kyle will take them. We agreed on this; it’s all in writing, in a legal document. But nothing is going to happen. To either of us. It’s an easy in and out.”

“Isn’t that exactly what you said about Dhaka last time? You were pretty sure that was going to be easy, too. And it was   fucked up and it was scary and I do not want to go through that again. If something happens to you….”

He tightly squeezes the backs of her thighs. “Nothing is going to happen to me. We’’ll go, you’ll get the info I need, I’ll get shit, we’ll get the fuck out. That’s it.”

“This is nuts.” She lifts the bottom of her t-shirt to her face, wiping the tears from her cheeks onto the gray fabric. “Going there is nuts.”

“Believe me, baby. It’s the last place I want to go. But that’s where they are.”

“You know they’re baiting you, right? That they’re baiting you into going there? Why else would they be in Dhaka? There’s no other reason. Other than to fuck with your head.  They’re hoping it will mess with you and you’ll make a mistake and that way they can catch you off guard and kill you. You realize that, right?”

“I do. But I’m not going to make a mistake. No mistakes this time.”

“I don’t even understand how they ended up there. Why would Mahajan take the risk of sending his people into Asif’s territory? He’s not stupid; he knows that would kick up a whole lot of trouble.  Asif might be dead, but there’s people keeping him very much alive.”

“He didn’t send his own people,” Tyler explains. “He’s using Asif’s people.”

“They’re working together?”

“Putting their issues for a common cause, I guess.”

“Oh my God.” She runs both hands down her face. “This is insane. This is pure fucking insanity. And we’re going to walk right into it?”

Tyler nods.

“How? You just said your name and your face are out there. That they’re coming knowledge. How…?”

“There’s always a way. All I need to do at first is get from the airport to the hotel. That’s it.”

“And then send me out into the street to get what you need.”

“I don’t even know if I WILL need you. But if Anil doesn’t come through…”

“So who is going to be watching my ass?”

“I will.”

“How? If you can’t get out on the street…”

“I will find a way. You have to trust me.”

“I DO trust you, Tyler. But this is messed up. Going back there? We’re asking for trouble.”

“Trouble is already here.  It found Neysa and Aarav. And unless we do something about it on both ends, it’s going to find you and the kids and I will a put a bullet in my fucking brain if anything happens to you or them. Anil ends Mahajan, we take care of shit in Dhaka. End it all once and for good. No more fucking around.”

“It’s not that easy!” Esme argues. “It never is! So we go to Dhaka and I find out where they are and you go in and get them and get out. You’re forgetting about all the steps in between. All the people that will be there to stop you from getting them out.”

“They won’t even know I’m coming. Catch them by surprise.”

“And if there’s twenty of them? Thirty of them? Forty? You’re good. You’re damn good. But you’re not THAT good.”

“I won’t be going in alone,” he assures her. “I’ll have back up. Koen and Rata and a couple of Nik’s people. It’s not like I’m going in by myself. People inside with me, people outside. All the bases covered.”

“This isn’t going to be another incident like a week and a half ago, is it? Where you think you’re going to have back up and find out  the hard way you don’t?”

“I completely trust these guys.  You really think Koen will drop the ball? He’s probably more protective of me than you are. I’ll be okay. I know these guys know what they’re doing.”

“I wish I had as much confidence in them as you do.”

“You trusted Koen enough  to get him to babysit me,” Tyler points out.

“It wasn’t babysitting. I wanted him to keep an eye on you. Because you’ve been struggling. In a lot of ways. And I didn’t want this whole thing breaking you. Breaking US.”

“Do you think it is? Breaking us?”

“Do you?”

“Honestly? The ‘us’ that existed even a couple of years ago? That ‘us’ wouldn’t have survived this. One of us would have walked away by now. Probably you.”

“Would have you let me? Walk away?”

“I would have fought like hell to get you to stay. I learned my lesson the first time. And I fucking hate myself that I was that weak and that much of a fucking coward back then.   But now? I’d stop at nothing to get you back now. So yeah; two years ago I would have fought. But probably not as hard I am willing to fight now.”

“Is it weird that I actually this crap has made us stronger?  I felt it when you first got here. That night we were lying in bed and you were holding me and we were talking and there was something so different between us. Something suddenly seemed so amazing and so right. More than it ever has before. It was like overnight we changed. Like we became what we’ve been fighting to be for seven years. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah,” his hands tighten on her hips and he pulls her into him, allowing her to stand between his splayed thighs. “Makes sense.”

She pushes both hands through his hair, fingers locking together at the nape of his neck. “You have to promise me something, Tyler.”

“Anything.”

“If something happens to me, in Dhaka…”

“We’re not having this conversation,” he interjects. “We’re not. We’re not talking about this. This is the last thing I want to talk about.”

“If something happens to me, you have to promise me that you’ll hold it together for the kids. OUR kids. Because they’ll need you more than ever.”

“Nothing is going to happen to you. Why…?”

“You can’t go back to drinking, you can’t go back to the meds. No matter how bad it seems or how horrible the grief is.  You can’t go back to those things. Because you will lose the kids. You will lose the last tie to me and you will not survive that.”

“I won’t survive if something happens to you. You know I won’t. And I don’t give a shit if that makes me sound weak or pathetic. It’s the fucking truth.”

“And then our kids would be left without mom or dad. You’d survive. For them. And you have to promise me you will. That if something happens to me…”

“Stop it,” he snarls. “Just fucking stop it!”

“Promise me you won’t let the kids down. That you won’t fall back into bad habits. That you’ll hold it together for them. You’re all they would have left. And I need you to be there for them. Promise me, Tyler. Promise me.”

“I promise you. I’ll keep it together. For them.”

Giving a small, sad smile, she presses a slow, soft kiss to his lips. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. I always WILL  love you. You need to remember that, okay?”

“I will,” his voice cracks with me. “And I love you. So much. And we’re going to get out of this. Both of us.  I promise.”

“I don’t know if that’s a promise you can keep.”

“I’ll get us out of there,” he vows. “No matter what it takes. I’ll get us out of Dhaka.”

[slayergroupie0128]

- AN: Ok guys!! I haven't written anything in a super long time, but this is an idea I've had for awhile and I wanted to bring it to life. It's been a long time since I wrote anything, so NO JUDGEMENT. Lol. Legit just typing this up on my phone though, so we'll see how it goes.

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YOU 12:15PM: Mother!! I'm coming over to hang out with the dogs!! Just a heads up!

MOM 12:25PM: Okay. How long will you be over?

YOU 12:26PM: Idk. At least till you and dad get back home.

MOM 12:32PM: Can you do me a favor and make that box of brownies in the pantry? We have new neighbors and I haven't had time to take them anything.

YOU 12:34PM: Ooooooohhh, new neighbors? How exciting.

YOU 12:35PM: Yeah, I'll make them and take them over too if you want. No lie, I'm curious about these new people.

MOM 12:37PM: Please and thank you!! I want a full report on them though! Lol.

YOU 12:39PM: Yes, boss!!

With a smile, you put your car in drive and headed across town to your parent's house. It had been awhile since you'd been over and you were dying to see their dogs again. Your mom was a dog breeder, so she had six dogs at her house. You always gave your mom and dad grief for having so many dogs, but you loved them all so much.

When you got to the house, you noticed three strange cars next door. "Huh," you thought to yourself as you pulled in. "Wonder how many people moved in."

Walking inside, you could hear the dogs begin to whine in their kennels. Once you let them out, you were mobbed by six eager fluffballs, all competing for your affection. "Okay guys, let's go outside!" They bolted out the back door, racing around the small yard to burn off their energy. You watched them for a minute before going back inside to start the brownies.

"Hazel," you called, snapping your fingers to call her to you. "Wanna go next door with sister? Let's go give these new neighbors some yummy brownies hmmm?" Your ever loyal favorite trotted after you as you walked the still warm pan of brownies next door. Even though you loved all your mom's dogs, Hazel and you had a special bond. You were also the only one in the family who could walk her off leash.

As you approached the door you snapped to call Hazel's attention back to you. You saw the squirrel too, and knew she'd chase after it if you didn't distract her. "Hazel, come. Sit," you commanded. Hazel sat, looking up at you as you rang the doorbell, as if she had never seen anything. You heard a crash and shouting, making you giggle. While the bubbles windows didn't give you a clear view inside, you could see several shapes and figured there must be at least five people inside.

The door opened a crack, and a sleepy Asian man looked at you suspiciously. You couldn't really see much of his face since he was wearing a face mask, but he looked to be about your age. You gave him a winning smile as you bowed a little bit. You knew in most Asian cultures they bowed instead of shaking hands, and you didn't want to seem rude.

"Hello! My parents live next door and my mom had me bake some brownies to welcome the new neighbors." Your voice was cheerful but polite as you held out the pan of brownies to the shocked man. His eyebrows disappeared up into his hairline and he stared at you for a long moment. Right when your smile began to falter, Hazel whined next to you and you looked down, your eyes crinkling as you grinned at her. You knew she wanted to say hello, but it looked like the new neighbor was still in shock.

When Hazel whined, the man shook his head as if clearing the fog that took over him when you showed up. "Um, thank you," he said softly, taking the brownies from you. "You didn't have to do that." You tilted your head slightly at the sound of his familiar voice. You couldn't quite place it. "No no, if I didn't do it, my mom would have. We do it every time someone new comes to the street," you replied as you patted Hazel's head to calm her down. "If you ever need anything, here's my and my parent's phone numbers. Just shoot one of us a text or give us a call, and we'll be happy to help you out. I know things break a lot with these old houses, and my dad can fix just about anything. I live an hour away, but if you can't reach Mom or Dad give me a call. I always answer."

He nodded awkwardly and looked behind him, presumably at the other people in the house. "She brought brownies and phone numbers in case we need something." "Well ask her in, dummy. We should be polite." You raised one eyebrow, recognizing the Korean words easily. He turned back to you, and opened the door wider. "W-would you like to come in?" He asked shyly. You beamed, your eyes scrunched up in a way he found totally endearing. "Thank you!"

The man opened the door wider to let you and Hazel walk in. As soon as you stepped in the door, you looked up and froze. "Holy shit," you muttered, barely audible. In front of you stood BTS, your favorite Korean boy band. Hazel, not caring that you were frozen in place, trotted in, sniffing the air. Taehyung, who was the one who opened the door, immediately removed his mask and dropped to his knees to greet Hazel, who licked his hand in greeting.

The sight of her being so friendly with them brought you back to reality as you bowed at a 90 degree angle. "Wow, I can't believe you guys are actually here," you said in a whisper, your face flushed as you looked around at them. They looked alarmed at your recognition, and you shook your head quickly. "No, don't worry, I won't say anything. I'll only tell my parents because they'll recognize you eventually. I'm y/n and this is Hazel." The seven guys all bowed to you and you smiled.

Namjoon stepped forward to shake your hand. "It's nice to meet you, Y/N. Sorry for the weird reception. We just didn't expect to meet a fan so soon." Your grin turned into a smirk. "Then I guess it's my lucky day."